#cant to do anything cause I’m mentally Dead
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I just wanna be Done with school already
#I have one month left#I have a lot of missing work#I am a slug rn#cant to do anything cause I’m mentally Dead
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Okay I have a request hit me if it’s sounds stupid but I need it for my mental health 😭can you write something about after the ghostface reveal and fight Ethan and female reader are dating and a while after Tara stabbed Ethan In his mouth reader is stabbed in her waist as well and finds him under the stage and crawls to him making sure that Tara and Sam won’t notice that he’s still alive cause she’s scared they will kill him so both Ethan and reader stay under the stage hidden it’s fluff Ethan holds onto reader feeling sorry and reader comforts him even though Ethan was the killer the entire time reader still lives him and both managing to escape and Ethan won’t die he’s all fine and still lives please I need it for my mental health I can’t let my pookie be dead I love him more than anything omg.
I’m so bad at describing oh my gosh but I hope you know what I mean you can also change a little if you want to! I love your writings so much and I’d appreciate it 😭🙏🩷
getaway car
words: 1115
trope: fluff
pairings: gfethanlandry x fem!reader
summary: you and ethan escape.
A/N: this is not stupid AT ALL! pookie is alive...somewhere. i couldnt pass out on the oportunity to do taylor swift for the title
𐙚 mdni!! ↓↓ 𐙚༘⋆ೀೀ
you sobbed silently and from afar as you watched ethan, your boyfriend get stabbed in the mouth by your roomate tara, Ethan bore the label of a killer, a true psychopath, yet despite the tumultuous journey and all the horrors, you found it impossible to harbor hatred towards him. He remained your boyfriend, the one with whom you shared your first intimate moments, holding onto memories of the sweet, pure, and innocent Ethan buried within him, hidden beneath layers of darkness. As Quinn approached you, wielding the blade, you bolted in terror, only to feel a searing pain rip through your waist as the blade found its mark. Agony surged through you, tears springing to your eyes as you grappled with the intense pain. "you cant save him y/n, you cant stop it" quinn whispered in your ear, twisting the blade only making you cry more. "just like you cant stop this bitch" you said, shooting quinn in the head, a loud thud was heard when she fell back. despite the pain you were able to run secretly into ethan's arms, hiding you both behind the stage. "stay with me please" you begged sobbing thinking that was the end of him "y/n?" ethan said slowly opening his eyes with a smile "your bleeding" he noticed, getting up. "hey, its okay" you said "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry," he uttered amidst sobs. When Ethan transformed into a killer, the notion of hurting you, let alone killing you, had never crossed his mind. Yet, he bore the weight of responsibility, feeling as though he had created this wound upon you, even though he hadnt. He tore a strip from the hem of his Ghostface costume, swiftly wrapping it around your waist, taking his costime off and tossing it behind "I'm so sorry," he cried, tears streaming down his face as they landed upon you. "Ethan, it's okay, it's not your fault," you reassured him, instinctively trying to soothe his pain."But it is, Y/N. You should've never become a part of this. Who did this to you?" His gaze filled with rage, demanding answers."E, I'm fine, really," you insisted, focusing on comforting him."No, Y/N, who did this?" His voice grew firm, his eyes ablaze with anger."Quinn," you revealed quietly. "I'm gonna kill that bitch," he seethed with rage."I already did," you confessed, a slight grin tugging at your lips. A loud thud echoed through the room, prompting both of you to snap your heads in its direction. "Stay here. They can't know you're alive," you whispered urgently, planting a kiss on Ethan's lips before slipping away to investigate the noise.
Approaching the source, you found Sam and Wayne sprawled unconscious on the floor, seemingly having fallen from the balcony above. It was your chance to escape. "They're passed out. Come here," you whispered to Ethan, beckoning him closer. Silently, you led him to the main entrance of the theater. "There's an easier exit this way. Follow me," Ethan whispered, grasping your hand and guiding you to the projector room."This door," he murmured, opening it to reveal a dark alley on Hudson Street, a familiar route you often took to reach campus.
it was around 2 am at that point, there wasnt a single soul around. "So where are we going now?" Ethan asked, uncertainty evident in his voice. An idea sparked in your mind. "We could go to my mom's apartment. She's in the hospital recovering, so she won't be there. Plus, it's on the Upper West Side, so they won't find us there. We just need a cab."As if on cue, a taxi approached. Ethan stretched his arm out to hail the driver, and the cab pulled up beside you. You both climbed in."465 West 96th Street," you instructed the driver, and with a nod, the driver started the ride.
You and Ethan couldn't contain your laughter throughout the entire ride, exchanging jokes and enjoying each other's company. "Thank you," you said to the driver as you handed him the fare. He grinned in response. "You both have fun, just not too much fun," he quipped with a wink directed at Ethan. Entering the elevator, you and Ethan shared a knowing look before bursting into another fit of giggles. As the elevator ascended, anticipation built. Finally, you arrived at your mom's apartment and stepped inside, ready to enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet together. You both changed into pajamas and settled into bed. "Tomorrow we can buy a plane ticket and get out of here. They won't even notice," you said, snuggling into his chest, envisioning the possibilities. "Can I ask you a question?" Ethan spoke up. "Why didn't you just leave me there and get out? Why did you stop to take care of me? I mean, you could've been safe at your dorm by now," he wondered aloud. "Because, Ethan, I don't want to be anywhere else but with you. I could never leave you there," you confessed, meeting his gaze with sincerity. "Now let's get some sleep, and tomorrow we can get out of here, okay?" With that, you leaned in and kissed him tenderly on the lips, sealing your commitment to each other and to the journey ahead.
you both fell asleep in this position. "Hey, babe," he greeted you with a raspy voice as you kissed him on the lips in return. "You want some breakfast?" he offered, to which you nodded in agreement. He swiftly got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. As Ethan prepared breakfast, you reached for your phone on the bedside table, only to find numerous headlines featuring your face as one of the victims of the recent attack. Anxiety prickled at your skin, but you pushed it aside, focusing on the present moment. "Here you go," Ethan said, handing you a blueberry waffle smothered in maple syrup, your favorite. You both enjoyed your breakfast, savoring the familiarity and comfort it brought. After finishing your meal, you hurriedly packed your bags. Thanks to the numerous "sleepovers" you and Ethan had shared, he had quite a collection of clothes at your house, making for a rather comprehensive suitcase. With your bags packed, you hailed a cab to the airport. Once there, you quickly scanned the departure board, seeking the next available flight to a destination where you could find safety and start anew. After a brief discussion, you both decided on Vancouver, Canada, drawn the place ethan was born and raised. You booked tickets for the next flight to Vancouver, ready to embark on your escape and embrace a fresh start together. maybe running away with your psycho boyfriend and faking your death is really the answer ;)
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Summit thoughts it’s long so it’s under the cut
WE HAVE A FUCKING CROWN????
OMF WE HAVE A CROWN OMG I LOVE HIM SMMMMMMMMMMM
Vincent my baby😭❤️
Oh god my anxiety is rising
SAM LETS FUCKING GOOO
Ew porters here🙄
COUNTRY BOY I LOVE YOUUU
Ew Porter
THAT LYING BITCH
THE GASLIGHTING???
I knew DAMN WELL that man wasn’t sorry
Atleast treasure isn’t here
Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME
“Can I be the one that punches him this time?” Yes yes you may😌
Almost done? We’re only 16 mins in? Oh no
DARLIN MEETING ALEXYS DARLIN MEETING ALEXYS DARLIN MEETING ALWXYS
She’s such a bitch.
I’m gonna shoot her
SHE TURNED HIM BC SHE “WANTED” TOO?
SHE DONT REGRET A THING??
I TOLD YALL SHE WAS A BITCH WHO DONT DESERVE AN APOLOGY
had to pause to chill myself
PORTER AND ALEXIS? FUCK
So it wasn’t alexys who brought Porter?
Hah that whore bitch
I’m still gon be a bitch at the summit idgaf
SAM COME TO MY RESCUE❤️❤️
Nah it was alexys babes🤭
The ONE GOOD THING Porter did
He’s the best tracker?? Sus
WE GON FIGHT ALEXYS
Oh no revamps w David
Racist already???
SHIT IS WILL GONE CAUSE HES HELPING QUINN????
FUCK NO VAMP GRAMP😭
ALEXYS FIGHT ALEXYS FIGHT
FUCK HER UP
can she stop being such a sly bitch?
Roll w dogs? Ima fight her bitch ass
Sam warned them abt Porter🤭
But like why is he there🤢
Why he talking to sh🙄
Tf closeknit got to do w anything
And sh was on closeknit?
He made a fucking ward????
The inversion is not a good topic
FUCKING BENNET
Porter is reframing a lil…
WAIT ELLIOTS GON COME BACK IF CLOSEKNIT IS COMING BACK
FUCK YEAAAA
Ok stealth is stealthing
God I’m anxious
Sam was right abt a lot
Pls Milo PLEASEEEEE
Ash don’t know???
ASH USE THAT BETA PRIVLAGE
Sam make out sesh🤭
Omg Sam and darlin twinsies🤞🤞🤞
Love a good ol toxic ex
How did he like her then😒
What is it w these hoes and their “I can fix them” mentality
SHIT PACK SHIT OMGGG
Wait did David just leave us w VAMPS
WERE EASE DROPPING QUEEN SHIT
Ash tell that alpha
Sh is a v good stealth they can do it
Ash acting like a real beta❤️
Ok Angel was w him we’re good
Oh shit what’s sh doing
OH GOD THIS IS SH PERSPECTIVE I THINK
The drama is dramaing
They can go without the money they are just fucking fine
Losing ground?
Wtf is their mission tho? Blake’s mission? No Blake’s was a secret what all is closeknit ac trying to do
THEY PLANNED THE FUCKING INVERSION?
WHAT WAS IT FOR?
SH CAUGHT???
FUCK OH NO WHAT NOISE NO DONT CUT OFF
A FIGHT????
HUH
WHAT
PORTER WHAT THE FUCK
WHATS HE PLANNING???
WHATT
NOO
Ok I’m he’s planning smth what is it tho
PORTER IS GON BE KING HUH???
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??
Sam tryna be a sidelined
OH NO HE GON KILL HIM
MISTAKE???
ALEXYS??
BENET OMG IS SH OK??
THE KING IS DEAD
WHAT THE FUCK
PORTER DID THIS
WHATS HE COVERING UP??
NO IT CANT END LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS SH OK?? WHY IS ALL THIS SHUT GOING DOWN WAS THIS PLANNED?? WAS IT FOR CLOSEKNITS BREAK?? ARE THEY GON BLAME VINCENT FOR FIGHTING HIM AND NOT BEING ATTENTIVE? WHERE THE FUCK IS WILLIAM????
#WHAT. THE. FUCK#OMG WHAT THE FUCK#WTFWTFWTF#WTFFFFFF#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted#redactedasmr#redacted headcanons#redacted monarchal summit#redacted summit#redacted reaction#redacted thoughts#redacted vincent#redacted vampires#redacted vampire clan#redacted solaire clan#redacted wolf pack
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yandere! bang chan — as your boyfriend, hcs.
warning. this is not how i portray the members of stray kids or how you should either. this is purely for entertainment purposes.
mentions of violence, nsfw, murder, toxic and possessive behavior. use of she/her pronouns for reader.
chan really is the perfect boyfriend at the beginning.
the two of you will be walking on the sidewalk and he’ll gently place his hands on your hips and put you to the other side of him so that he’s facing the cars zooming by.
when you’re shopping at the mall, he always carries the bags, no matter how many or how heavy they are. he will trail behind you like an adorable puppy, staring in awe as you make your way through the busy stores. he analyzes every purchase, making a mental note that maybe you like that style, that genre of books is something you often get, things like that.
at the grocery store, he pushes the cart, letting you put anything you’d like into it. he’s willing to pay for any treat or food that you want, hoping to see your face light up in happiness as you try the wonderful foods.
he calls you late at night when he can’t sleep just to hear your voice. it’s like a lullaby for him, and he often falls asleep on the phone with you, hugging a pillow to compensate for you not being in his arms.
“channie? are you there?” you’d whisper as he slept with a large smile on his face.
his smile. oh my god his smile.
he smiles at you as if you have the whole entire world in your eyes.
and to him, you really do.
everybody loves him and gets along with him perfectly.
your parents love him for how respectful he is towards both them and you.
your friends appreciate how well he looks out for you.
how could anyone hate your relationship? it’s so obvious how smitten he is when he wraps you up in his hoodie and tucks your hair behind your ears lovingly, always having an arm around your waist no matter who you’re with.
this went on for months and everyone around you two were certain that it was meant to be. you would both marry eachother.
but this wasn’t the case when you had gone missing.
chan would still brush the hair out of your eyes and wipe your tears, even as you were locked away with just a mattress on the floor.
“you know i had to do this. i cant stand the way that people look at you.”
with that and a kiss on your wet cheek, he would shut the basement door, leaving you to hear the conversations between your grieving parents and boyfriend.
“i’m so sorry, sir. i’m sorry i couldn’t protect her,” chan would sniffle as your mother sobbed.
“it’s not your fault, chan, you’re a good kid.”
it took all of your willpower to not scream for the help of your parents
but you knew better
not after chan’s stern conversations with you.
"if you make a single noise out of that pretty little throat of yours, ill tie them up just like you and kill them."
it was enough to cause you to shut up long enough to be let out of the basement by the time your parents had left.
he placed kisses all around your face, pulling you closer to him by the waist, “i’m so proud of you baby. what would you like to do tonight?”
the world eventually accepted that you were gone and dead.
your parents eventually stopped visiting chan
and you had finally begun to accept that you would never leave chan’s side.
the small things that you did made him so delighted.
chan would crumble at the sight of you only in his hoodie
ruffle his hair? he’ll fall apart right in front of you.
but chan also has the most adorable relationship habits as well.
he will carry a polaroid he took of you in his wallet everywhere he goes, showing it off to everyone who asks.
“this is my girlfriend,” he’ll proudly announce to the world to anybody who will listen.
he often won’t kill unless it’s absolutely necessary.
if someone who used to know you found out you’re still alive, he’d have no choice but to end their life.
if your parents slipped up and went into his basement, he would have to murder them as well.
sometimes, inconveniences happen, and murder is more of a backup plan for him.
but god, chan would never lay his hands on you.
he treats you like you are made of glass, fragile and to be protected at all times.
to him, you’re a delicate angel. he cooks for you, cleans for you, all that you have to repay him with is your love.
which isn’t hard to give him when he shows you his dimpled smile, pulling you into his chest to smell his vanilla cologne.
the way he acts translates to how he is in bed.
his top priority is always your pleasure, he can always wait.
chan makes love to you.
he’ll rest his head in the crook of your neck while on top of you, asking for you to tell him that you love only him.
praising you is like breathing air to him, phrases like “good girl” and “you’re so perfect for me” slip out from his mouth so easily.
but there’s a side of chan that can easily be awakened by jealousy.
whether you’re talking about a past lover or simply talking about another man, it’ll for sure get chan worked up.
he thrives off of being the only one you think about and care about
so when you mention other people, it drives him wild
he’ll want to show you that you don’t need to think about anyone else
especially when he’s gripping you tight enough to leave bruises, hips snapping into you as his ragged breaths let out curses
he’ll mark you in every way possible, biting and sucking on every inch of your skin
instead of wanting you to tell him who’s you are, he’ll tell you
“you’re mine. all mine, got it? i don’t want you thinking about anyone else.”
and by the time he’s done with you, it’ll be hard to think about anything but him.
once he uses you to fuck out his anger, he’ll soften up once again, offering a warm bath and leaving soft kisses to every spot that he marked
he’ll always try to cook breakfast for you the morning after.
it’s a sweet thought. he isn’t the best at cooking, but he’s not terrible either.
the eggs will be slightly runny. your pancakes will be a little burnt and oddly shaped. the bacon is underdone.
but you’ll surely forget about it once he hands you the plate with a proud smile
lazy days with chan have to be the best thing you’ll ever experience.
lying in bed, his hands will grab at yours, ready to talk about anything and everything that his brain can conjure up with you
he’ll listen to your thoughts intently, nodding his head at every word you say
chan’s mind will wonder as he plays with your fingers, questioning how he got his hands on such a perfect girlfriend in the first place
he’s even more thankful that he took you for his own
chan will truly be the perfect boyfriend ever if you let him
m.list. all works belong to @hanjisick. do not repost!
#skz#skz yandere#yandere stray kids#han jisung#skz smut#stray kids#bang chan#yandere skz#stray kids smut#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids mtl#stray kids headcanons#skz headcanons#stray kids han jisung#stray kids roleplay#skz masterlist#skz fanfiction#skz oneshots#skz imagines
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Live Star Reaction - Yellow Jackets 1x1
The worlds most awaited installment of the series: “Yellow Jackets” (aka @fayesdiana finally gets what she deserves)
WE STARTING WITH ACTION OKAY
Oh not the snow, Ik what happens here
YEP DEAD
VERY GORY SHIT (Kinda love ngl)
“I mean that could’ve been me” AWFUL VIBES FROM THIS LADY
Is this a therapy session ???? Or like a documentary of some kind
1996 !! Soccer makes me so nervous, I do not have the coordination for that
Okay without knowing anything about anyone my faves are Jasmine’s character (cause I already know her <3) and the blondie with the mullet (she looks cool and my sister and I almost picked her the casting of her story)
STRAIGHT SEX ????? IN MY MURDER LESBIANS SHOW ???? Terrible, revolting even
Iconic wardrobe tho
I was about to go “more straight sex?” NO ! We win today !!
Shauna... that’s the girl who was with Jackie (?)
“That I’d say you’re lying” “Then you’re still in touch” GAGGED, she got you there
Natalie, that’s another one (I’ll learn all their names eventually)
NATALIE IS THE BLONDE WITH THE MULLET !!! OKAY !!!!
“Lets hear for the boys” BOOOOOOOO
who’s the girl with the glasses ? You know besides a huge fangirl
STATE SENATOR ??????? Okay Taissa/State Senator/Jasmine
Oh Laura Lee is either dying IMMEDIATELY when things go to shit or she’s KILLING A BUNCH OF BITCHES
THE BONE OUTTA THE LEG ??????? I literally let out a “CARALHO” and just sat there with my mouth open in shock for several minutes (holy fuck)
“He asked Jeff to ask me to ask if you were gonna be there” that’s kinda.... pathetic ...? Like maybe if they were middle schoolers that’d be cute or whatever but cmon dude
“lucy in the sky with diamonds” so... lsd (?) or cocaine (?)
“Cat fight” dude they’re gonna punch each other to death...
I’m glad they’re all lineup, maybe now I’ll learn all their names (I won’t)
“Also I like your Pilgrim hat” definitely lsd
Yeah not a great place (physically AND mentally) to try lsd for the first time, Nat... that’s how you go on a bad trip (trust me, I actually learned about this in class)
Uhhh I don’t feel good about letting your friend who’s WASTED in the car alone with a guy, Jackie.... cmon be smarter (oh that’s her bf, wHO FUCKING CARES)
WHAT ?????? AGAIN ?????
Well, I wasn’t talking about *that* danger but yEAH THAT TOO
Secret safe (??) OH ARE THOSE THE “LOGS” OF WHEN THEY WENT MISSING ???
Okay so the ones we know FOR SURE survived are Shauna, Taissa and Natalie
“I can’t believe your dad paid for a private plane” daaaaaamn Lottie
“And here, a good luck charm” Jackie that’s gay (I’d know)
“No signs of the others” WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT ?????
Heeeyyy Natty.... where you going with that fucking gUN?
Listen, okay yeah you’re stranding on an island with no way out... you’re GONNA start killing people... but exactly HOW quickly would it turn into a Cult? is my question
MISTY !!! OH MY GOR !!!! CHRISTINA RICCI ?????? WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME CHRISTINA FUCKING RICCI WAS IN THIS SHOW ????
awwwwnn she’s an abusive nurse ;-; GODDAMIT, cAnt have SHIT in here
WAS THAT LAURA LEE ???? The one that fell off the plane ???? WAS I RIGHT ????
(Twas not, I was only confused by another blonde with straight hair, fORGIVE ME)
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throws a plot twist at you. I’M going to be annoying.
what are the extents of gwen’s powers? does her family know about them? are they part of them? how much does she have control over? what does she look for in a woman? is she single this saturday night?
I SEE THOSE LAST ONE I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
AND WAUGGH THANK YOU
gwendolyns powers are very much anything she can think of, which makes the effects range from REALLY FUCKED UP to more mundane, like she has a dog shes had since she was 10 and yet said dog looks like hes only about 3 years old cause she wont let him age
another thing about her powers is she herself isnt aware of them yet so she uses them very unintentionally and since she was born with them, shes lived her entire life like this, what do you mean its not normal to just wish something and then it happens?
her family are very aware of whats wrong with her! and they all have very different reactions to it
her mother jessica is still very much in denial even though shes seen it right in front of her and shes had multiple mental breaks because of it, repeatedly insisting everythings fine even though she knows its not, shes also terrified of what will happen if she admits she knows somethings wrong and just really wants to pretend this is normal
meanwhile her father vinnie is on the opposite end of the spectrum and has genuinely been trying to find some way to get rid of gwendolyn her entire life, when she was a infant he kept trying to leave her at places during the night so he would be free from whatever she is but she wouldnt let him walk away so he would be forced to take her back home
the two of them would have divorced about this if it werent for the fact that gwendolyn wont let them because she wants a happy family with parents who love eachother and stay together
her older brother cooper has really had a rough time with it, he was 5 when gwen was born and so he cant really remember what it was like to not have to live like this, he also has had a lot of bad things happen to him because of her, he has completely given up on a lot of things cause of her indirectly interfering
one example is that when he was 7 and gwen was 2 he Begged their parents for a hamster for his birthday and within a week it was dead after lil toddler gwen got into his room [which he tried to lock] and was alone with it, she was just curious but he hasnt forgotten that
he cant have friends cause if gwendolyn and him get into a fight she could make a comment about how she hopes all his friends leave him and they will, he cant try to form his own life cause if his sister wants him to do something hes forced to do it
he has though found a loophole which is if he gets gwendolyn to want something he wants he can get it, for example he cannot get kicked out of their house cause she doesnt want him to move out after he convinced her that it would be bad if he did when she was 13
and hes also a accomplice to her crimes, because if he stays on her good side then he still wins, which is part of the reason why he doesnt get along with tess, needs to make sure his lil lifehack still works
HUGE ASS SLOUGHTON FAMILY INFODUMP OVER!! she does, in theory, have good control over her powers, she can and has undid something cause it didnt give a result she liked, but right now its all working subconsciously and without her proper input
her abilities are reality altering, which means they could be reality destroying too if she wanted them to be
thank god she doesnt know what shes capable of, huh?
anyway she likes someone whos got a good sense of humour and a nice laugh, she also likes freckles and curly hair, and sadly no shes busy saturday
#THANK YOU#THANK YOU SO SO MUCH#something is wrong with gwendolyn sloughton#gwendolyn sloughton#cooper sloughton#jessica sloughton#vinnie sloughton
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eleven and seventeen?
11. favorite mcr album art?
revenge no question. i cant quite explain why but something about it has always spoken to me, i saw it at age 12 and was forever changed i think. this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that it’s my favorite album, in fact i think part of why it’s my favorite album is because of the art. first of all, it reminds me a lot of vampires. i’ve always been drawn to vampires, an obsession that i think grew with my discovery of this album, even if it’s not actually about vampires, because aesthetically there are definitely a lot of nods to the vampire aesthetic which i really love. i feel like a lot of my aesthetic choices have been based off of that album cover, it just feels very me. i love thé black and red color scheme, again probably because of how i associate it with vampires and there’s something so gender about it. i definitely prefer some of gerard’s art to others but i think the style looks really cool here. someone pointed out how the girl looks kinda like gerard and i haven’t gotten that out of my head since. there’s also something in their expressions that’s so tragic even if theres not a lot of detail to them. i like the blood on its own, but i also like how it’s this watercolor style, i think that’s really cool. and then the way blood is spattered all over the rest of it. i’m not really putting it into words right because it’s more of a feeling of connection ive always had with the album and it’s art rather than specific qualities i can pinpoint, but i think love and art aren’t really things that need to be quantified and dissected like that.
17. favorite mcr lyric of all time?
ooh this is so hard. honestly i’m kind of bad with lyrics bc i process music as just Sounds rather than words, but mcr are such great lyricists that there are definitely some that stick out for me. at the moment i’m thinking about “and did you come to stare or wash away the blood?” from desert song, since i’ve been listening to it on repeat for unknown reasons, tho im not sure that’s my all time favorite. i have a ton written down in a notes app note for lyrics i like just bc i enjoy the way they sound, though i don’t really have any personal reason for them being my favorites. one that i’ve always thought about though is “i’m not dead i only dress that way” from boy division, because my chemical romance has always inspired the way i dress including looking weird and kind of dead and just overall very strange looking, it’s very gender to me. i started listening to mcr when i used amazon music in middle school and conventional weapons wasn’t on there but as soon as i’d heard of that lyric i went to youtube to listen to it and it’s been a favorite ever since, and it was amazing to hear live.
thinking about hearing it live also made me think of hearing burn bright live and being able to scream out “cause it makes me who i am / and you made me who i am / be afraid of what i am,” because even if i didnt listen to conventional weapons a lot when i first became a fan, those lyrics really exemplify my feelings about the band and how they’ve shaped the person i am today, they’re the only band from my middle school emo phase that ever really stuck with me and i’ve listened to them for a third of my life. for me, these lyrics are a combination of reverence/homage for how the band helped me get through middle school when i struggled a lot with mental health for the first time and began to truly think about my identity for the first time, as well as how they’ve been with me well on after that time and have been there through every major change in my life and can always make me really happy just thinking about them. it’s more than a middle-school nostalgia for me bc my love for the band is just a part of me now. i also like how these lyrics tie in with the “not ashamed of what i am” and the general queer undertones of the song, because i associate my chemical romance a lot with my own queerness, having discovered them when i began to realize i was gay and taking a lot of inspiration from them for my gender presentation. and also i’m someone who feels a lot of shame and general self-doubt even outside of my queerness that i like these lyrics’ message of just like, being who you are, as corny as that sounds. i think that’s kinda the core message of mcr as well :)
#sorry this is so long i didn’t realize i had so many thoughts. mcr special interest and whatnot#mcr#minirovks#thank u sm for the chance to talk abt this!!!
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Ive been suffering and I dont want to be alive on new years eve, and if I dont stay too long at a friends house, my plan of possibly overdosing on a shit ton of pills will happen.
I lost a friend at the start of 2022. I was never informed until I found out through FB then I was never informed of their funeral.
I lost the job I had after 10 and a half years because Supervision and management.
I got a new job, and within a week of that I had someone who was 87 years old blast through the red light they had while I was turning left. Because of that Im now having more serious health issues. Period for five and a half months. My first severe concussion. Staples in my head, broken bone.
I lost my Emotional support animal. Ive had him since he was five weeks old. I was fifteen and a half. He got me through so much abuse because of my egg donor not wanting an autistic child and an autistic adult as a child, and someone who’s Queer (I’m non-binary and asexual) and his cancer in his cheek got worse, fast. He helped me through the medical rape I went through at 19 years old and he’s the reason why I lived for so long and stopped trying to take my life for so long.
I expected to be dead by 14 years old.
Not even three weeks after loosing the light of my own life, I lost another friend. His father didn’t really tell us the cause of death but it was an accident, and it wasn’t by his own hand which we’re happy that it wasn’t.
Then I lost the last bit of family I thought I had on Christmas because of the fact that my father cannot accept the fact that I’m not his daughter, Im his offspring, and I havent been his daughter since around 2016 and havent used my Deadname unless its for legal reasons, since I dont have the time or money to legally change it since October 2018. And my sister thinks that just respecting my pronouns and new name is all I need, and that whatever issues with my father I have with his severe transphobia is between him and I and not her issue, with her knowing full well Im dealing with so fucking much.
Friends JUST finally started giving a shit, not even a week ago. A ton of them know and knew about my plans of suicide once my ESA passed, I cant last without him. People know that he’s gone. Im someone who has two sexual assaults, twenty plus years of physical, mental and emotional abuse, PTSD from that, PTSD from working during COVID-19 being immune comprimised and therapists not taking me seriously because I only have medicaid and I’m autistic and part of the LGBTA.
Im so, so tired. I dont know if Ill be surviving this year and if I do its going to get even worse mentally and emotionally for me. I don’t have a support system or anything that I know I need to survive and keep going and live. I cant keep going. Im so broken I don’t deserve to be fixed, and Im having my probably 30th or more mental breakdown because Im just so fucking tired of this year.
So if I disappear, and if I do survive this year, I’m sorry if I take a two week hiatus or something. I don’t have replies barely ever to do anyway, so I doubt people will miss me. Ill let people know. I just, need to get this off my chest and I know my friends are tired of me ranting and bitching on FB. They probably think Im over reacting on everything that happened.
I have a queue lined up to post memes once a day and I feel Ill be adding more as a just in case I do last past today.
Im sorry if Ive disappointed anyone as a roleplay partner, Im sorry Im a shitty person. Im sorry Im weak.
#tw:mentions of death#tw: mentions of suicide#Negative post#TW:mentions of possible overdosing#狼{Out of Lusty Ambitions}狼#狼{Out of Lusty Ambitions}#tw:sexual assault mention#Severe negative post
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ems.. so I did something embarrassing today and I can't stop thinking abt it. earlier our adviser was speaking and he cracked his voice and I accidentally like, laughed it was a laugh more like a snort and it was so quiet everyone heard it including him, IDK WHY I KEEP EMBARRASSING MYSELF ISTG. I KEEP DOING THINGS THAT'LL STICK WITH ME UNTIL I DIE. but besides that I'm okay, I JUST CANT BELIEVE I COULDN'T HOLD THAT IN, AND BESIDE ME WAS A MALE. HES SOOO ANNOYING. IDK HE PROLLY MADE FUN OF ME IN HIS HEAD CAUSE I LAUGHED. I FUCKINsbfausbfo. sometimes I wish I just disappear. ISTG I HATE ATTENTION THIS IS WHY I HATE ATTENTION. ALSO WHY I DON'T LIKE SPOTLIGHT CAUSE IM AFRAID, OF JUDGEMENT. I'm scared of letting A LOT of people know me cause then they'll know everything and if I embarrass myself or do something wrong they will know they'll see. I WAS RETHINKING THIS WHETHER I SHOULD TELL U OR NOT BUT ISTG I CANT STOP THINKING ABT IT. Idk maybe the ppl in my class prolly forgot abt it but the problem is I can't cause I'm the one who embarrassed myself, I hate embarrassing myself cause it'll stick with me. I'll prolly think about it randomly when going to bed and mentally slap myself. I FEEL BAD FOR DOING THAT TO MY ADVISER. ITS NOT HIS PROBLEM. REALLY, ITS ME IDFK ANYMORE.
I don't know how I'll calm myself, I mean I am calm rn I just can't process anything right now. I'll read your content, watch movies/k-drama, prolly take a nap to distract myself from today😔updating you is actually making me feel better. everyday when I have time to update you and I do, I feel stress relieved. oh and the k-drama I'm currently watching is cheer up, its quite interesting. I saw it on tiktok and wanted to watch it because of the drama😭
anyway, besides that congratulations on 1k!! (forgot to congratulate you earlier) f2f is over for me (for now) how's school? I hope you're okay! 💙
-m💙
LMFKJSNCKJNS MOONIE PLEASE, I TOTALLY GET HOW YOU FEEL BUT I RPOMSIE YOU ONE DAY YOU WILL LITERALLY FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED PLEASE DONT WORRY TOO MUCH. IM TELLING U RN EVERYONE COMPLETELY FORGOT YOU DID THAT LIKE FIVE MONUTES AFTER IT HAPPENED OKAY??? NAHHSHHUSNAH ITS HONESTLY A BIT FUNNY CMON YOI HAVE TO ADMIT. BUT ALSO YES I GET WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT FR THIS IS A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE 😭 EVERYONE HAS EMBARRASSING MOMENTS THAT RANDOMLY COME BACK T US LATER, ITS OKAY LOVE HSKUSNSN
AWW, im glad updating me calms you down shdjdh yes go watch a new show or smthn!! UGH NGL I HAVENT WATCHED ANY KOREAN SHOWS BESIDES UHH ALL OF US ARE DEAD, SQUID GAME AND SWEET HOME :( I ALSO WATCHED A FEW EPISODES OF SKYCASTLE BUT IT WAS LOWKEY ASS 💀💀💀
AAHH THANK YOU DEAR I APPRECIATE IT!! mmm, schools okay ig 😭 i’m just very bad at studying 😭 i keep procrastinating i’m like “i’ll do my hw later” THEN IT JUST KEEPS GETTING LATER UNTIL I GO TO SLEEP AND THEN I END UP NOT DOING IT 💀💀💀 but uhhh IM SURVIVING (besides gym and math 💀) !!! ✊✊ ON A BRIGHTER NOTE I FINISHED SOME BRAINSTORMING AND BEGAN WRITING MY NEXT LONGFIC WHICH IS GONNA BE FOR JUNGWON !! i’m vv excited, i dunno if it’s gonna surpass behind the net’s word count tho 😔😔😔
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Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2
Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!
Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Todoroki Clan:
It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.
When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.
Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.
You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.
Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.
Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go".
Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.
Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.
Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.
You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.
Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.
Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.
Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.
Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want."
If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.
That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.
Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done?
Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.
You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”
With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.
And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.
And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.
You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.
A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.
Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."
Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.
There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".
Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.
"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.
That he failed to save his daughter, again.
I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.
Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.
And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.
#yandere endeavor#platonic enji todoroki#yandere enji todoroki#yandere dabi#yandere shouto#yandere shoto todoroki#yandere todoroki#yandere todoroki family#yandere todoroki clan#yandere rei todoroki#yandere natsuo todoroki#yandere fuyumi todoroki#enji todoroki x reader#yandere touya todoroki#yandere bnha#bnha headcanons#yandere mha#bnha imagines#yandere dabi x reader#touya todoroki
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delusion: part 2
"a/n: hello, hello! cant say i didnt sniffle a little writing this one.
words: 6539 (the word limit kind of faded away as i got emotional)
pairing: loki x f!reader
warnings: angst, but ends with fluff. but a lot of angst. mentions of death, blood, and fingers. and dead bodies. and hypnotism?
another a/n: thanks to @theaudacitytowrite for this little adventure. cant say I wont miss it.
tagging all those who requested for a part 2: @karushinekomiya @midnights-ramblings @savoryloki
read part 1 here!
37 minutes. That’s how long it took for y/n to have her soul crushed. Not crushed, ripped, and trampled all over repeatedly, until her very essence was terminated, until she was nothing but a bag of bones, muscles, and blood. She fell back into her bed as she watched Loki leave her. Forever. She didn’t matter to the god. Of course she didn’t. why did she ever believe that she would be of any importance to him? A mighty god like Loki, a literal prince! What was some simple Midgardian to a being of such alleviated status? y/n felt something trail down her cheek. She was crying. 4 years, 3 months, and 27 days of not one tear- not even when her parents left her to rot- and it took only 37 minutes for her ex-lover to have her eyes release such a foreign substance. She wasn’t even sobbing, just one lonesome tear trailed past her cheekbone, just one tear that contained all her anger, sadness, and pain. She wished she could cry harder. She wished she could cry her eyes dry, and just spontaneously combust while she was at it.
“Okay since the door is open, I’m assuming you guys aren’t doing anything that will scar me for life-“
Nat. Of all those times she could walk into y/n’s room, she picked today. She faltered as she took in the image of y/n sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling and into nothingness.
“y/n?” she whispered as she reached for her friend. Her blood froze as she took in y/n’s face. Pale, like a corpse. y/n still hadn’t acknowledged Natasha’s presence. Gently shaking y/n’s shoulder, Natasha called her name again. Nothing. Was she even breathing? Natasha began to panic. Her only friend- aside from Wanda- What ever happened? y/n was fine when she left training a while ago-
“Nat,” came y/n’s voice, a gentle, hoarse whisper.
Rushing to her side, Nat brushed her hair away from her face. “y/n, what happened?”
Finally, y/n met Natasha’s eyes. The pain was so evident in them, just bared out for the whole world to see. Vulnerable, weak. Natasha had never seen y/n like this. The y/n she knew was strong, so strong.
“y/n,” she breathed, “talk to me.”
“He left me.” Her voice cracked, almost as if it wanted to match with the likeliness of her cracked heart.
“What? Right now?”
y/n nodded, not trusting her voice. If only she could find a release for that awful swell in her throat.
“Hours before a mission?” Natasha could have slapped herself for blurting out something so insensitive. Here laid her friend, literally looking like death, and she was worried about a mission. Sure, they had 4 lives to save, but what good was a near-dead agent in a rescue operation?
Natasha had initially come over to y/n’s room for last-minute mission prep. Yes, they had about 2 hours left for the mission, but she could never be too careful with anything.
“Would you like me to leave you alone?”
y/n simply continued to stare at the ceiling. Natasha wished she could see what she was thinking. Although she looked like death, Natasha couldn’t help but notice how she had cried just one tear. Anyone could tell that she needed a while to collect herself. Natasha decided to step out, probably approach Fury and issue a last-minute change of plan. She could take Clint and Peter. Not the best replacement, but she could have Peter go in and look for the agents, while she placed Clint at a farther position, as backup for Peter.
“Stay.” y/n breathed out when Natasha began to retract her arms away.
Perhaps Natasha could stay and provide her friend some support, just for a few minutes. She felt awful about how she couldn’t help more, but this was the most she could do at the moment. ‘Missions first, personal problems next. What are you a hero for?’ as Fury would say. Natasha thought of Loki. How she wished she could knee him in the groin and then cause him a slow painful death.
“Coming up with a plan for murder?” y/n asked, somewhat with a hint of amusement in her voice.
Looking up at y/n’s face, Natasha relished the little smile on her face. Heartbroken as y/n was, she was still alive.
“You know me so well.” She snickered.
“Don’t bother Nat. He doesn’t deserve it.” Lies. Although y/n really wished to let Nat murder Loki, her love for him outdid that need.
“y/n, as much as I would like to stay with you like this, I’m afraid I have work to do. I need to find replacements so the mission can still-“
y/n’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? Replacements?”
“Yes, you obviously cannot go on a mission in this state. I mean, have you seen yourself?”
No. No, no, no. The mission was the only distraction she was counting on. If she stayed behind, she would probably end up doing something she never once thought she would.
“I want to come, Nat. I’m fully capable of fighting today.”
“y/n, think about this. Loki- “ Nat paused, concern refilling her when y/n flinched at his name. Rephrasing, she tried again, “he’s going to be there too, and we cannot risk any mistakes.”
“Nat. you know me. You know how I am. Would I let a little squabble in my personal life come in the way of my work?” y/n was probably lying again, she didn’t know how she could manage being in close proximity with the same person who managed to suck out her very soul, but it was so much better than the alternative. If y/n was deemed unfit for the mission, she would have to spend a day doing nothing, and that was not something she was looking forward to.
“Let me partake in the mission, Nat. I promise ill be okay. I just needed a few moments to collect myself.” y/n added a little smile at the end, hoping she could have Natasha fooled into believing that she was fine.
Gauging her response, Natasha studied y/n’s face for a moment. It was obvious she was lying, but Natasha knew better. She had to let y/n do this. Nodding, she relented.
“Promise you’ll be okay?” she asked, squeezing y/n’s shoulder once before standing up.
“Promise.”
//
He still had 2 hours to burn. 2 hours before he set out on a mission with the person he loved, aka the person whose heart he broke. Once her best friend, Natasha Romanoff found out, she’d probably come straight up to his room to kill him. He would have laughed if he was capable of feeling anything at the moment. He laid in his bed. The mattress was cold, hard, empty. Not even an hour since he left y/n for good, and he was already missing her. Her soft body flush against his chest, as he inhaled her chocolaty scent. The little sighs she subconsciously let out when he wrapped his arms around her. The little twitch in her lips when he whispered something in her ear. It was too late before he realized what he was doing. His heart stopped as his mind screamed at him, you can’t think of her! You don’t deserve to think about her, let alone lay next to her!
Inhaling deeply, he curled up into a ball. How he wished he was someone else. If it weren’t for his past, he and y/n could have lived one of the sweetest lives. Sure, she was a Midgardian, he would still figure out a way to keep her with him forever. If only.
“Top of the morning to you, brother!” Thor’s voice bellowed. Loki groaned internally. It seems, while he was in the middle of his self-deterioration, he forgot to lock his room door.
“What’s gotten you so sullen?” Would he simply leave if Loki didn’t respond?
“Brother. Hello.” Thor said again, shaking Loki’s shoulders. Clearly, he was unaware of Loki’s mental state- but then again, Loki was always like this with everyone. Except his y/n. His y/n? Nope, not anymore. Just y/n.
“Thor.” Loki said, finally acknowledging his cheery brother’s presence.
“Ah, finally. It seems to be getting harder every day to obtain a response from you, brother, hence I must ask- is everything alright?”
Loki wanted to laugh. Hysterically. So, he did. Slow laughter built up in his throat, and before he knew it, his laughter boomed all the way from his stomach. Cold, dry laughter that would run chills up one’s bones. When was the last time he had laughed like this? Out of sorrow? Out of spite for himself?
“Whoa. Am I dreaming? I have never seen you laugh like this, brother. I am now very concerned for you.” Came Thor’s voice, causing Loki’s laughter to die down. Laughter is supposed to make people feel better, right? But the feeling in Loki’s stomach would prove that otherwise. I do not deserve to laugh.
“To what do I owe your presence, dear brother?” Loki was surprised his voice sounded so collected. Almost as if he didn’t just take someone’s heart and stomp all over it. His heart churned as he remembered what he had done. He just wanted to lay in bed and sob.
“It is mission day, brother! We must prepare!” Thor bellowed; his previous question forgotten.
“As it is. Leave. I shall arrive at the quinjet in due time.” Loki hoped Thor didn’t hear how his voice wavered in the slightest.
“Brother- “
“Leave, Thor,” he breathed, his voice cracking at the slightest, “I beg of you.” Maybe Thor didn’t sense the wavering earlier, but he definitely caught this. Besides, Loki never begged.
“What did you do, Loki?” Thor asked gently. It now dawned on him why Loki crawled into a ball. Since they were children, Thor had seen how he would do that every time something had hurt his heart.
Loki scoffed at how Thor questioned his deeds. Of course, Thor would suspect him of some wrongdoing. It was never ‘What happened, Loki?’. Just the accusatory, ‘What did you do now?’. Although, this time, it was his fault. All his fault. Monster.
“y/n,” he said.
“y/n? What happened to y/n?” Loki could feel the sudden anger surge in him. Big, ugly anger- filled with resentment for himself. Why won’t Thor leave him alone? Why can’t he just leave, leave Loki to rot in his room?
“I broke her heart, Thor. I took it, trampled all over it, and left her to scavenge for the shattered bits. Is that enough? Or would you like me to tell you more? Leave, Thor. Leave me alone. I will report at the quinjet for the mission soon.”
Thor realized Loki’s predicament. He knew a situation like this might arise sooner or later, but he hadn’t expected it to occur at such an intensity. His little brother had only begun to experience the joys of love, of living, he had just begun to heal, and his demons were eating at him already.
Sighing, Thor began. “Loki. Look at me.” When Loki didn’t respond, Thor forced him to face him and meet his eyes.
“I may not have a clue about how you deal with most things, but I do know what you are feeling right now, brother. I have known you for many millennia, and no matter how clever and secretive you are, I can always tell how you feel. You feel undeserving of y/n, am I correct?”
Loki inhaled sharply at Thor’s accurate judgment. Was he so predictable?
Almost as if reading his mind, Thor continued, “You aren’t predictable, dear brother. In fact, you are far from it. But it wouldn’t take a fool to see how you feel about y/n. We all see how you look at her, Loki. Like you love her. Like you would do anything for her. But what you don’t realize is that we also see how she looks at you. She loves you, regardless of your scars, your past; she loves you for your heart- she loves you for you, Loki. Anyone who’s incapable of seeing that is simply an ignorant idiot.” Loki’s eyes widened at Thor’s revelation. y/n loved him regardless of what he had done in New York. She loved him, not because he was a god or a prince, but because he was him. Because he was Loki. How could he have been so blind? He wanted to smack himself for being so naïve & insecure. He should have just talked about it to y/n, like she always suggested. ‘Talk to me if you have a problem, Loki. It’s what all couples do. They support each other,’ she had said to him once.
“It isn’t too late. It never is. You can always fix it. Do you understand?” Thor said, bringing Loki back from his thoughts.
Loki needed to sit down and think, and Thor shaking him to elicit a response to his monologue wasn’t really helping.
“Are you done, brother?” Loki asked, his voice and face still monotonous. He needed time with himself. Besides, he never responded to Thor in any other manner. To break that ritual now was to sin.
Thor, however, couldn’t see past Loki’s monotony. Sighing, he said, “I hope you think of my words, Loki. You need y/n, as much as she needs you. Come to terms with that for yourself.”
\\
“Based on what we can tell, they’re going to ask us for the hard drive before they give us Agents Samson, Waller, Bryson, and Stevens- so we’re going to have to stay on our toes,” Hill began, Natasha and y/n listening on intently. Loki wasn’t anywhere to be found, but then he hardly attended the briefings. He simply read case files and had a pretty good idea of what was to be done. “Natasha will be our front. She will deliver the drive, while y/n and Loki go in search of the agents. We need to ensure that we find our men before the decryption of the drive.” She said, looking back at her tablet.
Just then, Loki walked in, looking as pristine and collected as ever. As if he wasn’t running on sleep from a day ago, as if he didn’t have a broken heart weighing him down. y/n’s anger surged. It was infuriating how he wasn’t affected even to the littlest. She put on her mask of indifference perfectly. Last night didn’t happen. Loki was simply her coworker, and she was going to have this mission take place perfectly.
“Um, Agent Hill? Is it possible for me to take Agent Romanoff’s position?” y/n’s voice rang before Hill could give further instructions. Loki noticed how y/n looked calm and ready. Ready, to pounce like the lioness she was. She didn’t acknowledge his presence. Usually, when they met up at briefings, she’d give him the tiniest of smiles, but the sparkle in her eyes would speak more than what they could converse in a lifetime. That one moment always made his morning. He wouldn’t deny the sting he felt in his chest when she asked Agent Hill to change her position.
Agent Hill looked into her tablet and frowned. “I’m sorry Agent y/l/n, but this is the best way we can proceed while ensuring minimal casualties. Loki’s seidr, accompanied by your stealth will help in a faster rescue. Not many people are capable of resisting Natasha’s sweet-talking, so it is best for her to be on the receiving end of the exchange.” she said, winking at Natasha; grinning as Nat returned the wink. “And guys, a quick note. We don’t know these people; we don’t know how they work. If in case shit goes down, call for backup. We’ll be in ASAP. You have a 60-minute time bridge to be in and out. If you’re not out by then, we’re coming in. Understood?”
Quickly sheathing her disappointment, y/n nodded in agreement, “Affirmative, ma’am.” It seemed as if she had to face him after all. But no matter, she reminded herself. I am a hero. An Avenger. My people before myself.
//
“Alright guys, let's move in. I will enter through the main, you both through the back doors. Wait for my signal, and as soon as you receive it, go. Do not waste your time. I assume you have memorized the floor plans?” Natasha asked, putting a gun into her thigh holster. y/n nodded as Loki simply stared.
“Go on then, good luck.”
Loki used his magic to put some sort of cloaking around himself and y/n as they walked quietly towards the backdoors of the abandoned silo. The rival organization had set up a temporary location there for the exchange, and their current invisibility enabled them to walk comfortably.
Loki took a deep breath. It was unwise to have a conversation, nevertheless an intimate one during a stealth mission, but he had to talk to her. Let her know that he was sorry.
“y/n, I have to talk to you about earlier,” he began, looking for a reaction in her.
He waited for a moment. Several moments.
“y/n.” he tried again.
Nothing. Not even a flicker of emotion in her.
“I’m sor- “
“Don’t. Don’t for one second, think you can talk to me. Not after what you did.” She sneered at him, fresh fury blazing in her eyes like Greek fire. Loki flinched at her sudden reaction. He never flinched. “You do not get to talk to me after I bared myself open to you like I did, only to have you scoff at me, and deem me worthless.”
y/n was now angry with herself. It enraged her how Loki was able to elicit such a response from her with 3 mere sentences. She had to stay more collected. Ignorance, she decided. The best choice of weapons.
Loki decided to attempt again later. He could not give up on his love. He could still hear Thor telling him about how he could fix it. Loki used his seidr to pick the lock on the back door. So far, they couldn’t see anyone. No snipers, no guards, nothing. He ignored the chills that ran up his back.
y/n had her gun at the ready. It didn’t matter if they were invisible, there could be heat sensors. She wasn’t going to let the little kerfuffle from a few minutes ago faze her. Her skin rose in goosebumps as she sensed the eerie silence. Something was wrong.
On Natasha’s command, they moved in, both walking on guard in perfect formation. y/n in front of Loki, with her gun out, while Loki stayed behind her with his daggers in his hands. They walked around each other in perfect sync as they scanned their surroundings. They moved past the pitch-dark corridors as y/n tried to look for signs of an ambush. So far, they had to have encountered at least a few guards. The plan was to silently take them out as they continued to look for the kidnapped agents. y/n looked back at Loki and turned away before he could make eye contact with her. His heart pumped steadily, his blood filling with adrenaline in response to the suspicious silence. They approached another door, and based on the floor plans, they had to go through the room ahead. The only problem was that it was a very big, and possibly empty one. Some sort of a torture chamber, y/n figured, from the lack of furniture and other basic things. She cracked the door open. A single chair. That’s all she found in the center of the room. Was that blood? y/n’s muscles froze as she noticed the table with numerous surgical tools- no, torture devices. A little knife-like object laid in a steel tray, covered in blood. And fingers. So many fingers. y/n gasped at the image in front of her. The junior agents had been tortured in the very room they were in. She looked around for active cameras. 4 in each corner of the room. She was thankful for the invisibility curtain Loki’s magic was able to provide. Suddenly, Loki was tapping at her shoulder, trying to get her attention. He frantically pointed at a bundle in the corner of the room. White sheets. Drenched in blood. She moved towards it slowly. Please don’t be what I think it is. Please.
Uncovering the flimsy cotton, her eyes widened. “The Agents.” She breathed, meeting Loki’s eyes. He looked as mortified as she did. All four of them were dead. Tortured, left to bleed out slowly. It’s a trap. y/n realized, her blood curdling up. Only then did she notice the tripwire around the sheets. We’ve been tricked.
“y/n!” came Nat’s voice in her earpiece. “y/n- it’s a t-t-trap! Crack. G-get out of t-there! N-n-now Crack. R-r-rendezvous at-t b-back- Crack.” not even the static in Nat’s transmission could have left them confused about what they had gotten into.
In a blink, there were lights, everywhere. Red lights, lasers, sirens, noise resonating all over. They had been spotted.
“Well, well, well. Look who we have here,” Came a deep, cold voice from behind them. A man in a white coat, followed by a woman who seemed like an assistant- who was followed by at least a dozen men who looked like SWAT agents, except they had much more brandished weapons. The 2 doors in the room shut with a bang, leaving Loki and y/n trapped; with 4 dead agents, and the many people who probably wanted them dead- but not before having their fun.
“Agent y/n, and Loki, the God of Mischief.” He sneered at them.
y/n pointed her gun at him while Loki drew out his daggers and flipped them. That would have had y/n swooning on a good day, but not today.
“The one and only,” Loki stated. “Now let us through, or it will be the end of our short-timed pleasantries.” he sneered, adrenaline flooding in his veins, causing his green irises to turn almost completely black.
“Now, now. There’s no reason to be so hostile,” the man said, his mouth twisting into some crooked sort of smile. “After all, I am sure you do not have the capability to fight past all of my soldiers.”
He was right. Loki’s seidr could probably take out a few, and y/n’s ammunition a few more, but not before they were electrocuted or whatever those hi-tech weapons were capable of. She needed to contact backup. And fast.
“Let us out, unworthy scum. We’ve given you the intel anyway.”
“Behave, Agent y/n. Do you really think I’m stupid enough to fall for a corrupted drive?”
Loki wanted to smash his teeth in. How dare he talk to his beloved like that?
“And you are?” y/n asked the man, changing the subject and trying to stall him. The drive plan had failed, which meant that Natasha could be in trouble. Besides, they needed to come up with a new plan to get out without any more trouble. Not even 10 minutes in, and they were already cornered.
“Fred. I am also a doctor.” The grey-haired man said. y/n would have laughed if she wasn’t already upset and running on almost no sleep.
“.. your name is Fred?” she asked, silently trying to reach for her walkie.
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“No, but I was expecting something more ... traditional. Something that would suit that malice in your eyes a little better,” She stalled. “Something more Russian. You look very Russian.”
All Loki could do was stare at y/n with a prideful smile when he realized what she was trying to do. His little lioness, so daring and clever.
Grinning like a madman, Fred turned to his assistant. “I like this one. Although, what’s all this about being Russian? I just don’t get it.”
y/n would have responded if not for the dart in her neck.
“Hey!” she felt the poison running through her veins in no time. Her sight faltered, her own voice sounding distorted.
“No!” Rang Loki’s panicked voice. His heart fought against his ribcage. What had he done? If only he hadn’t gestured at the bundle, if only he told y/n it was better to leave the moment they spotted it. They knew the junior agents were dead the moment they saw it, what was the need for him to have y/n uncover the sheets?
“Don’t worry, Mr. Laufeyson. It is only a sedative. Your girlfriend will be fine.” The doctor chortled.
It was now y/n’s turn to freak out. “How did ... how did you…” she mumbled; her eyes widening at the colors that brimmed in her vision. Her heart calmed to a surprising rate, a sloppy smile on her lips as she sank onto the floor.
“Please, Agent y/n. Like I said, I’m not stupid. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the way you look at each other?”
Thor’s voice rang in Loki’s ear. ‘It wouldn’t take a fool to see how you feel about y/n, Loki.’ He would have smiled if it weren’t for their current state.
“Mmm,” y/n hummed. Understandable, she wanted to say. “Un- un- under the sea.” She managed, with a goofy smile and a giggle bubbling from her chest.
Chuckling at y/n, the doctor said, “I’ll see you soon, Mr. Laufeyson.”
That was all Loki heard before everything went black.
//
He gasped loudly as he woke up. Where was he? He scanned his surroundings and realized he was in a lab-like settlement. No doors, just 2 bullet-proof glass windows behind which a number of doctors and agents stood. Along with Fred. His heart sped up as he took in y/n. Strapped onto a bed with numerous wires attached to her head. She was still unconscious from the sedative. He pulled at his arms only to notice he was shacked to the walls.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Mr. Laufeyson!” Loki heard a cheery voice through the speakers. “Shall we begin?” Fred asked, pausing for a few moments as Loki realized he was waiting for a response.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his mind numb. How was he going to get out? Where was Agent Romanoff?
“Ah, so glad you asked. This nice lady here,” he gestured, “is Doctor May. She specializes in hypnotism.”
What did they need a hypnotist for? If they were planning to hypnotize Loki, they were in for a disappointment because that really wouldn’t work on him.
Looking at Loki’s expression, the doctor smiled. “Don’t worry, it's not for you! It's for our dear y/n here! Doctor May here has so skillfully come up with a serum that we can test on y/n. We’re going to turn her against you, watch an epic battle- to the death; and if she survives, hooray! We’ll have her rejuvenate and train before using her to infiltrate SHIELD!” he cooed. His tone did not go with the threats he was spewing. "Oh, I also forgot to mention, we're giving her superstrength, just for the sake of it. see what happens."
Loki’s blood turned to ice. “What if she doesn’t survive?” he asked, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“Oh well, if she doesn’t, we’ll harvest your powers and whatnot! But not to mention we will be very disappointed in her.” The doctor said, frowning playfully.
Loki’s chest seemed to cramp up onto itself. He tried to pick the locks on his cuffs with his seidr.
“Did you really think we’d let you have seidr while in captivity? Gosh, SHIELD. Keep thinking I’m stupid. See what that does for you.” Fred mumbled, rolling his eyes dramatically.
“No! No. Fred. You do not want to do this,” His silver tongue was the only thing he could rely on now. He couldn’t let them hurt his y/n. Ignoring the sweat running down the side of his head, he donned a sweet smile and crooned, “let her go. I am far more powerful than she is. If you release her, I promise to submit to you, causing you no difficulty. My seidr and my other strengths. All yours. I will give you any intel you need.” He promised, his nerves slightly betraying him. That’s it. Take the offer, Fred. Let y/n go. It’s my fault she’s here anyway.
“Hmm, let me think,” Fred said, placing his index on his chin. Uh oh. “How about no?” he snapped, quickly letting that carefree smile adorn his face again. Loki’s smile faltered. “Unfortunately, your proclamation isn’t as fun as my idea, Mr. Laufeyson.” No seidr, no backup. He was going to have to fight the one he loved.
“May, commence operation Omega!” Fred yelled, bouncing on his toes. “I’m so excited!” he yelled, his arms flailing around. Loki couldn’t help but notice how the man’s appearance did not suit his personality even by a percent. Creepy.
He watched as y/n’s body started shaking. She was seizing. His stomach dropped as the horror registered in his mind. The wires suddenly detached from her head with a sickening pop as she opened her eyes. Her e/c irises now glowed bright blue. Like electricity in her fibers. Loki’s chest clenched at y/n’s foreign expression. How long had it been since they got in? Surely Agent Hill must have realized something was wrong by now?
He flinched as the shackles around his hands clicked open. He was incapable of fighting y/n, let alone killing her. He couldn’t stand the idea of landing his fist on her.
“Ah, hello? Subject 7? Can you hear me?” Fred’s annoying voice crooned.
“Yes,” y/n said, her face devoid of any expression. Almost as if she was a robot. Loki’s skin rose up in goosebumps as he heard her cold emotionless voice. This was not his y/n.
“Good,” the doctor beamed. “Destroy.” That’s it. One simple command for y/n to turn to Loki and snarl at him.
“y/n,” Loki whispered. No, no, no. He felt tears prickling in his eyes. He’d rather die a thousand deaths than lay a hand on her.
“You’re pretty. But I’m going to kill you.” y/n smiled, her mouth letting out a little giggle. That wasn’t her giggle. It was cold, malevolent.
“Doctor May, what was that? It was cute, but I don’t remember asking for that?” Fred asked, frowning at the lady. Stuttering, she said, “I-I believe the serum hasn’t taken complete effect, sir. Part of Subject 7’s personality i-is still accessible to her.”
“Aw,” Fred groaned. “Do I have to kill you, Doc?” he asked the lady, whose eyes were now wide as saucers.
“N-no, sir. I assure you it won’t be a p-problem. I will have it fixed b-before administering the next dose.”
“Okay!” Fred smiled again.
Loki overheard their little conversation. Could he still reach for his y/n, which was buried underneath the cold exterior, courtesy of the serum?
“y/n,” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. She didn’t respond, but simply charged at him with a growl.
Loki dodged her, putting a safe distance between the two of them before trying again as his mind screeched at him. All your fault! Why did you let y/n uncover the sheets? You knew it was dangerous, you knew they were dead!
“y/n, it's me,” Loki said softly, trying to get her to look at him. He took a step towards her when he saw that she wasn’t going to lunge at him.
“y/n … I know you’re in there.”
Loki thought he saw a flicker in her eyes.
“Doc! What’s going on?” Fred exclaimed; his face glued to the glass.
Loki decided to get closer. “My love,” the words sounded foreign to his ears, no doubt, but it had never felt so right.
“Come back to me,” He whispered, reaching for her; tears obscuring his vision. “Please.”
y/n lunged at him; a perfect roundhouse directed towards his face. But Loki’s reflexes had always been faster. She circled him, like a predator assessing its prey.
Fred banged at the glass. “Subject 7! We do not have all day!” He yelled, and now y/n was rushing towards Loki. She swung her fist at his jaw as Loki dodged her, only to receive another punch on his throat. Coughing and sputtering, he glanced at y/n, his eyes speaking words he never had a chance to say. Rubbing his neck, he said in the gentlest voice he could muster, “Please, my love. You do not have to do this,” he paused, gauging y/n’s reaction. He noticed how her movements faltered every time he spoke in that gentle voice. “It’s okay, y/n,” he whispered, his eyes holding hers as he reached to cup her face. Everything slowed down when clarity sank into Loki, chilling his bones like ice on a hot plate. He now knew what he had to do.
“It’s me, look at me, my love,” he breathed, his eyes searching hers. Flicker. His y/n was fighting underneath the shadow that had taken over her body.
“I love you,” He whispered to her. 3 words, just 3 words to let her know how sorry he was. To let her know he never meant any of it. to let her know, that it was all his fault.
“I love you, my darling, I always have; I’m so sorry this ever- “ Loki’s voice muffles down as the next event unfolds.
She’s suddenly kissing him, she’s kissing him like she’s never kissed before- raw and hungry- and for one moment, for one moment y/n's emerged from the shadow of the serum- to tell him, tell him that it was okay. That she understood. One kiss to let him know that she’s forgiven him, one kiss to let him know that she loved him too. Loki’s eyes widened as her warm lips held onto his like her life depended on it- except this time, it did- and he was kissing her back before he knew it. he wrapped his arm around her, his other arm knotting in her hair to support the force of the kiss- and he’s crying, he's crying as her fingers tangle in his hair, he’s crying like he’s never cried before- the tight wraps around his past wounds ripping open, he’s crying like he’s never going to experience this feeling ebbing from the depths of his heart ever again--
And he’s suddenly on the floor with y/n’s hands around his throat, her eyes electric blue again, a menacing smile playing on her lips.
“Yes! Yes!” Came Fred’s voice. “Finish him, Subject 7!”
y/n stared at Loki, her hands lowly tightening around his throat. He could only stare back at her, his tears running silently as he placed his hands around y/n’s wrists.
“Do it, y/n. Do it. I did not deserve you anyway,” he said as he choked on a sob, “but I just want you to know- I have always, always loved you; and I wish last night never happened. I wish for you to never, ever experience the pain you felt last night, I wish for you to be treated like the queen you are- “ he paused, meeting her eyes, a thousand emotions swimming in his mind; making it impossible for him to speak the numerous confessions he was attempting to make.
“I love you, y/n, and I regret not believing you when you said you did too.” He choked out before shutting his eyes and accepting his fate. He embraced death like an old friend, waiting for it to swoop in and steal his soul. He waited for that cold feeling of release, of being free. He would die for her instead.
“I love you too. I never stopped,” He heard a sweet voice whisper. He opened his eyes to y/n’s e/c ones. She had fought the serum. Her lips quivered as tears brimmed in her eyes, freely falling down her cheeks, as Loki’s hands reached for her cheeks. “I love you,” she said, and everything blows apart as the building explodes.
// a week later//
y/n opened her eyes to 2 smiling faces, groaning at the throb in her head. She noticed the other Avengers next to her, all smiling, grateful that she was okay. She was in a hospital bed.
“Welcome back!” Natasha and Steve yelled, causing y/n to shut her ears.
“Guys! Stop yelling!” y/n manages to say before furrowing her eyebrows and shutting her eyes.
“How long was I out?” she asked, her eyes still shut.
“a week,” Sam replied from her left.
“Whoa.” She whispered, trying to recollect the events that had unfolded.
She froze as the images came rushing back to her. She tried to kill Loki. Then she kissed him. ‘I love you,’ he had said, and the building had exploded on their fragile reconciliation.
“Loki!” she gasped, sitting back up, her eyes flailing around to look for him. Was he dead? Please don’t let him be dead.
“y/n! Calm down! You have 3 cracked ribs, not to mention the messed-up head, thanks to serum Omega. We need to make sure it still isn’t in your bloodstream,” Nat says, holding her down.
“Is Loki okay?” she asks Natasha, her heart in her throat.
“I'll bring him to you,” the red-haired agent smiles at her, before turning to the door. “Stay put,” she calls behind her.
“What happened to Fred?”
“Who?” Steve asked quizzically.
“That weird doctor.”
“Oh, probably died from the explosion. Our people are there as we speak, y/n, we’ll find out soon. Feel better, we’ll tell you the rest later.” he said with a warm smile.
How did they manage to get out? Sure, she was knocked out after the explosion, but she did witness the intensity. It would have been impossible to extract them from underneath the rubble- unless--
“y/n?” Loki’s tentative voice came from behind the infirmary’s door a few moments later. She looked at him, searching for any injuries he might have sustained. Loki ran up to her, grabbing her face, “You’re okay.” He said, kissing her gently. He snickered as y/n’s hand crawled up into his hair, pressing his lips into hers harder.
“So are you,” she smiled, looking at him with a look of pure adoration.
“What happened?” she asked Natasha, her fingers looping into Loki’s as he sat next to her.
“I escaped, noticed that you both hadn’t made it to the rendezvous point only to encounter more agents, fought my way out, called for backup, and the rest is history. The question is, what happened to you? We got only Loki’s version. Gotta hear yours,” she says, all in one breath.
“Perhaps give us a while before that?” Loki asks her, Natasha gasping slightly at the little smile on his face.
“Careful Loki, smile any wider and people might think y/n’s making you go soft,” she joked and turned around to leave, gesturing at the team to follow.
“Hey you,” y/n whispered, her index tracing Loki’s jaw. He leaned down to envelop her in yet another kiss, this one sweeter than the best Asgardian mead, filled with promises of tomorrow. He smiled into the kiss when her fingers knotted in his hair.
“I love you," Loki whispered, thanking whoever that he could say it to her again.
"Forever?” y/n asked, her voice still hazy from the kiss.
“Always.”
#hope you had fun!#and also that u cried!#:D#loki laufeyson#loki fandom#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki series#loki fluff#loki odinson#loki x reader#loki x y/n#loki x you#loki 2021#loki 2012#avengers#mcu#mcu loki#mcu avengers#mcu fanfiction#mcu fic#marvel mcu#marvel loki#loki friggason#loki fan fiction#loki angst#marvel fanfiction#loki x f!reader#loki x ofc
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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not your fault, part two. cobra kai x reader
summary 📣: eli hopes to make reader realize it’s not her fault by introducing a rather curious boy.
warnings 🚫: swearing, slight mental breakdown but not really
slater’s note 🗯: i’m beginning to think there will be more then three parts to this and there maybe robby keene x reader near future, lmk if you guys would be down for that
part one, part two,
you didn’t know robby keene. you had heard a lot about him, especially after he was taken in by daniel larusso, but you hadn’t exactly realized he was the one.
yes, it was practically everywhere, on the news, in your highschool, everywhere. this was the kid on the run after pushing a kid off a balcony only to break his back.
it just never occurred to you.
he sat before you with his arms crossed, analyzing you, “you look like shit.”
you furrowed your brows, confused as to how random and straight forward he was. this had been the first words spoken between the two of you, silence consuming the both of your atmospheres while calm talking surrounded you.
“why are you here?” he mumbled, “i don’t know you. do you know my dad or something?”
“who’s your dad?”
“nevermind,” he licked the inside of his cheek, diverting his attention toward the cement floor, “why are you here?”
he knew why.
your faced screwed up, feeling a heavy set of blame sink into your shoulders with the nasty tone he was using in you, “i don’t know.”
“tell her what you did,” eli walked up behind you, glaring straight at robby who shared the same expression of hatred, his arms crossed, leaned back.
“fuck you-“
“no fuck you,” eli spat back, his body practically fully leaned over your shoulder, like you were the only thing stopping him from strangling robby, “you tell her your the problem, tell her she wasn’t the one.”
robby sighed, eyes breaking off from eli’s, shaking his head lightly before meeting your own eyes, filled with curiosity and general exhaust.
he had no idea who you were and getting a call about a girl who felt like it was all her fault for miguel’s hospitalization even though she wasn’t even there for half of it didn’t help.
he didn’t understand why he was even still sitting before you, preparing to tell you that this wasn’t your fault. he didn’t know you, he had never met you, and he was about to go to an extent he would never go to for anyone.
making someone feel better about themselves.
he exhaled, sitting up from his relaxed position, “look, it’s not your fault miguel’s in a coma, alright? it’s mine, okay?”
“i could’ve help-“
“no you couldn’t have,” he said fast, trying to end things quickly, giving you a look of reassurance, the type of look that made you feel as if you had history with him, like he knew you inside and out, “you can’t save everybody.”
you cant save everybody.
why’d he have to say it like that? phrase it like that?
saying it as if miguel was already dead and he was sentenced to life in the juvenile detention center and that you’d have to let it go.
the reassurance and sympathy he was offering suddenly made you feel sick to your stomach, tying up in knots of pain, swimming up to your throat making you choke up.
you got up quickly, the sound of the metal chair scraping against the concrete floor making a loud, annoying noise causing both boys to cringe, clenching their jaws.
robby watched you walk off quickly, shoulders hunched up in heaving sadness. you felt like you’d breakdown any second, it couldn’t be over with, it just couldn’t, miguel would pull through, he would just have to.
“never was good with those sort of things,” he whispered to himself almost jokingly, but he allowed your grief to hit his head to realize it wasn’t funny.
“wait to go, asshole.”
“hey, it’s not my job to make her feel better about herself,” robby scoffed, leaning back into his chair, crossing his arms.
“yeah, but it isn’t her fault in the first place.”
“yeah, no shit, she’s not the one in juvie,” he snapped, making eli glare at him even harder, eyes crinkling at the sides, eyes filled with fire of spite and rage.
and then a long silence took over as eli looked back to where you had run off, his lip finding its way between his teeth as he tried to think of what to next.
robby did the same, only staring straight forward at the plain white cinder block walls.
maybe he should’ve been more sympathetic and thoughtful about his words, maybe, because then again you weren’t his problem.
yes but if you hadn’t done what you did, she wouldn’t feel this way.
fuck, he didn’t even know you, why was he trying to find excuse as to why it was his fault you felt this way? it was all stupid, he only wished he could be back in a peaceful mindset like he was before all this, back to not knowing you even existed, before knowing miguel existed, and sam, and when he would steal and lie and his only worry would be where his mom was.
“do you think he’ll wake up?” the words slipped past robby’s lips unintentionally, as if he was meaning to ask more of himself rather then eli who turned to him quickly, slightly shocked.
“what do you mean,” he mumbled, “of course he will.”
but the truth was, eli only said that because he hoped it was true. he was rather doubtful in his answer and robby could tell by the tone of his voice and how fast he said it.
he truely didn’t know what to think, but he hoped there was more truth in eli’s statement then what they both thought for both their sake.
analyzing your state previous moments before, he knew nothing good could come from your end if miguel did anything but wake up. it’d send you off a cliff and it didn’t take a genius to see that.
he assumed many people would end up in the same boat as you, but the thing was, he wouldn’t even be in that boat, you’d be in the water, wasting away, just like miguel.
“you better hope he does, otherwise that’s murder on your end.”
taglist 🗞:
comment for a tag on future works :)
@alilmercy @drikawinchester @cobra-kaii @alexmercer-reginaldpeters @fandomobsessedbitch
#eli moskowitz#eli moskowitz imagine#eli moskowitz x reader#cobra kai#cobra kai x reader#jacob bertrand imagine#jacob bertrand x reader#tanner buchanan#tanner buchanan imagine#tanner buchanan x reader#xolo maridueña#miguel diaz imagine#miguel diaz x reader#miguel diaz#karate kid#cobra kai series#millie bobby brown#hawk cobra kai#hawk imagine#hawk x reader#hawk#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#peyton list
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Warning: mention of death of a loved one.
Todays concept is
MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-) They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.
now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do
Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.
Lucifer
He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person.
probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly
though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.
Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.
“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling.
“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out.
“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again.
“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.
“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that.
“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless.
“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now.
“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog.
“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.
“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak.
“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.
“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh.
“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.
“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet.
”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”
Mammon
This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did
if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.
he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset.
is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away.
after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”.
“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something.
“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away.
“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.
“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up.
“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.
“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence.
“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon.
“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply.
after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could.
“do you want a hug?”
“please-”
Leviathan
since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on
unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response.
will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.
eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them
Satan
He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.
though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.
he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.
or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.
doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them
Asmodeus
he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye.
probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.
when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’
knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!
Beelzebub
one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.
once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.
bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities.
will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better
Belphegor
tbh honest probably knows something is up right away.
with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong
if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.
once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them.
will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’
Solomon
since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.
might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up.
when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible.
will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them
Simeon
doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows
but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone
they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.
will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky.
mans will try to comfort them any way he can.
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sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless.
#OBEY ME#Obey Me Levi#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me lucifer#Obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me headcanons#obey me headcannons#obey me scenarios
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Showtime Thoughts
bc i am in love with julia lester
spoilers below
First off, why is this episode so short?
ngl i forgot mazzara was a regular
ricky ded besties
awww nina and the letters
she looks very good in her dress
ashlyn and ricky look so good
“We’re screwed!”
ash and ricky are too funny like where were they this season?
chaotic and pretty best friends
sidenote, why did they go see north high’s production?
oh my god ricky and nina are talking
SEBLOS IN THE BACKGROUND
i am taking what i can get
RICKYS FACE WITH THE CARD!!!!!!!!
my favorite part of the episode
his makeup looks very good
he looks very good
as @organic-guacamole said, he is very pretty
its been like three minutes and it already is so chaotic
yessss kourtney’s mom!!!
so howie and kourt are fine? gah since when?
“look for the shortest fork” mood
I CANNOT TAKE EJ SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY BIRD
big bird ej comin at you
oh
PORTWELL DATE
wait isnt this ejs last show? is he going to miss his last afterparty for a date?
true love bitches
GINA MY LOVE
“Is he with us?”
NORTH HIGH SET OUR BEST BOI ANTOINE ON FIRE APS GET READY
seb being a supportive boyfriend is everything i needed
jenny is frazzled
i love how all the techie turned actors are nervous at some point during the episode
REDLYN CONTENT
awww thats so cute love the callback!!!
ooo howie is here
love how the writers leave a cliffhanger and then close the book before it turns to tragedy with one line
mazzara and ej, thats it
jenn what
why is mike there?
that was so unnecessary like aren’t mike and jenn over?
LILY
“did we forget to build a moat around the school”
let ricky be single challenge
she just said “lol” i cant
props to ricky for keeping calm during the show after he saw mike and jenn
ah so lily is a child of divorce?
“lily scram”
RICKY AFTER THE CURTAIN OPENS WHY IS THIS FUNNY
STOP MAZZARA IS THE VOICE OVER
HE SOUNDS REALLY GOOD
how did ricky do that so fast-
put on gloves over the cast, makeup, and a mask?
i dont work with costumes
AMERICA EXPLAIN
The one scene we get from the show...
Yay Steph!!!!
“Big Red has not thrown up in twenty minutes” ashlyn’s little smile
“she heard wrong”
someone please explain how spotlighting the judge is a good idea it makes it seem like things went wrong
“Carlos is a seasoned professional” honey carlos is on the verge of a mental breakdown
“He says help
Communication
Seb translating for Carlos is beautiful dramatic, yes, but im right.
im so proud of them. they go from not talking for a week to seb being able to tell how carlos is feeling based off a stoic expression.
SOULMATE SHIT
IM SORRY NO BOP TO THE TOP CALLBACK
LIKE NONE
WHO WANTS TO RIOT WITH ME?!?!
wait so carlos goes from on the verge of a mental breakdown to full on performing and speaking?!?!?!? Speaking well too, not stumbling.
he looks so comfortable on stage when not even ten minutes ago he looked like he was going to vomit?
h e l p
ashlyn’s little laugh!
NINI IS A FORK IM LAUGHING THIS IS GREAT
big red lookin’ at his girl
ricky what are you doing?
ASHLYN AND GINA
I QUIT THEY’RE ADORABLE
GET IT KOURTNEY
howie’s little mouth drop
i cant with sebs costume i should not be laughing how is he able to do a kick line
ASHLYN MY LOVE
be our guest was enjoyable. it had a lot of moving parts. frankie and dara sounded really good. it’ll probably grow on me the more i listen to it.
is it just me or did be our guest lack some energy?
NATIALIE IS SO AGGRESSIVE
awww gina bb
portwell!!
“my mom sent me jordan fisher”
big red and ricky!!!
...what is big red doing? has he been faking sick?
“PLEASE EVERYONE REMAIN IN THE SAME ROLE YOU STARTED IN”
BEST LINE OF THE SEASON OMFG
alright what the hell is up with howie?!?
kourtney is so excited and then downer howie comes to ruin it
nina just write “thanks for being the best bro and glad youre not dead”
btw kourtney and gina look really good in their costumes
ASHLYN!!!!
SHES SO PRETTY THANK YOU
redlyn!!
gina and jamie!!!
he looks so proud
glad gina gets to see her family!
cute scene, jordan is a nice addition!
RICKY AND THE BOWL
julia lester is killing it with the vocals
big red is so in love
seb bouncing in the costume
“she’s never looked at me that way before” evil smirk
PORTWELL GLANCES
my heart fricking stopped when carlos went on stage
being early on your cue/missing is awful would highly not recommend
a bop to the top callback after this would have been perfect
those harmonies!!
THEYRE SO IN LOVE
ummm phone call?
CHIPS BIG SCENE
...why wasn’t seb cogsworth?
alright that was really good. everyone (even the backup) sounded really good. portwell rights! ashlyn rights! kowie rights! acting rights!
so mazzara and jamie?
Ashlyn is the perfect Belle fight me
“Eat it Zackey Roy!” how about “yay kiddos, nice job!”
ej’s little dance
“bc you’re ginas brother”
he is enamored by her it is adorable
EJ CASWELL RIGHTS
“hey, jordan fisher, would you like to f up one of three stableish ships in hsmtmts?” “sure, im in!”
ej!!!
aww hopefully he doesnt take the conversation too heart. they both like each other so much.
Portwell is so enjoyable to watch.
return of the bro
ej go get your girl dont worry about her brother please
SOMEONE TOUCHED THE PROPS
all hands on deck
“Can you just jump off something high”
I seem to remember Ricky falling from something high last episode, is that correct?
She tells this to one of her most UNSTABLE kids
Oh shit
Miss. Jenn
Wtf
like what the actually hell
look at the kids faces they’re heartbroken
Miss. Jenn why. You’re stressed about the show, but you’re not performing it. They are. They have to worry about lines and cues and pitches, not you. Miss. Jenn has literally gone at the kids this season. Opening night speech too Ash and Ricky, shutting Seb down, that comment. She has become obsessed with the Menkies and North High. It has gotten really bad. These kids have put everything into this show, even their relationships (both platonic and romantic) and that is how you repay them?
I didn’t think they would address this, I lost hope after last week but I am so glad they’re going too.
Someone send Seb after Miss. Jenn please, let him rip into her, he would do very well.
Miss. Jenn is supposed to be the role model and she just told a kid to jump off something high.
nina has been a godsend this episode, props to her!
haven’t been the biggest nini fan this season (off and on for me), but she was very behaved this episode.
if there is anything the east high kids are good at, it’s bullshitting their way out.
“aim for my face” character growth
I KNEW IT
LILY WHY HOW WHEN WHY
WTF THEY END THERE I CANNOT WITH CLIFF HANGERS
I liked the episode. Didn’t love it, but liked it. I really wish we got to see more acting, like we didn’t even see Big Red and E.J go on stage. Not even the iconic yellow dress. Some of the drama is so unnecessary, like why Mike and Jenn? What is with the Kourtney and Howie drama the writers insist on having, can’t they just be happy?
Besides the whole harness incident (burn that harness and mask it is causing so many problems) the production went very well, too well. This is East High we’re talking about.
Promo thoughts because what
oo they’re sneaking, maybe Big Red’s thingy
YES ASHLYN GETTING THE LOVE SHE DESERVES
oo Kowie confession?
portwell please be okay
what is up with carlos’ hair?
so seb, miss. jenn, and carlos scene? this has the potential to be very beautiful.
“It’s not over” not this again...
i’m thinking carlos and seb are going to talk to miss jenn.
Sidenote, if we do not get a good seblos scene I will riot.
Hopefully Miss. Jenn apologizes with a billion sorrys
rini you just broke up please dont get back together
im scared
if it is a scene where they close the book i will be very happy
Are we getting a flash forward scene? I’m pretty sure Miss. Jenn said Menkies aren’t till two plus weeks after the show.
We know based off the promo pics Ej and Gina are at the cast party, what went wrong?
Wait do we not get to see the finale of the show?
We better see the goddamn transformation
how does lily home and core four song fit in? im more curious about the lily one.
In conclusion, I am not ready for this to be over and the transformation needs to be sent to hell.
#disney+#hsmtmts#hsm series#hsmtmts season 2#hsmtmts spoilers#ricky#ricky bowen#nini#nini salazar roberts#nina#nina salazar roberts#ej#ej caswell#gina#gina porter#portwell#ashlyn#ashlyn moon caswell#ashlyn moon#ashlyn caswell#big red#redlyn#kourtney greene#kourtney#howie#kowie#seb#seb mathew smith#carlos rodriguez#seblos
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