#can't wait for the little gay people in my phone to finally read this
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Seasons change, but people don't.
or three times steve asks eddie to stay, plus one time he finally does.
(my entry for @thefreakandthehair 's winter fic challenge! my prompt was "lets just stay here, watch the snow a little longer." and it turned into a lot of Eddie Munson being silly and spans all the seasons. 6.2k)
Ao3
✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ
Spring 1985
Eddie feels like his skin is too small. His scalp is prickling and he’s had the worst fucking day, okay? His stupid math and science teachers are in kahoots, he knows it. He’s shit in both their classes and they hate him and have it out for him and there's nothing he can do now. His grades are too low, he cant make it up and they don’t like him so there's no way out. Not charming anyone, no sob story that could save his sorry ass now. He’s not graduating. Again. He has to repeat senior year. Again.
And the added layer to his shit cake of a day? King Steve wants to buy from him. Today, right now. Oh ho ho is he gonna get overcharged sooo bad. Seeing as eddie has to postpone his wallowing to wait at his stupid little bench in the stupid woods behind the stupid school.
The spring air is nice at least, a little breeze blowing through the trees and the bench is warm from the sun. He's only been waiting for about 5 minutes before the telltale rustles and snaps of someone coming towards his spot are heard.
Steve the hair Harrington is here. With his long stupid legs and his stupid jacket and eddie is not! In the mood!
‘Hey man’ Steve slumps down onto the bench across from Eddie with a sigh and, huh. He looks really fucking tired. Like, if Eddie were his friend he would be seriously concerned.
Steve is not Eddie's friend.
‘Hey yourself. 30 bucks. Cool?’ Eddie gets the baggie out of his little black lunchbox and holds it out. Steve just kind of looks at it. ‘What?’ Eddie snaps. He doesn’t have time for this.
Steve flinches at his tone and looks at Eddie with his big puppy eyes (yes! Eddie knows Steve Harrington is a pretty boy jock and yes! Eddie has had his little gay boy fantasies about Steve Harrington and no! Eddie is not proud of it!) and ohhh my god Eddie does not have time for this!!
‘Sorry sorry, yeah man. Here.’ Steve takes out the cash and hands it over, but still doesn’t take the bag. He shuffles around, sticking his hands in his ugly preppy jacket ‘You. You wouldn’t roll for me would you?.. I’ll pay extra.’
Eddie scoffs, god what a day! Now this! ‘Baby never had to roll for himself before? Oh! to be royalty. I don’t have time Harrington, go get one of your lackeys to do it.’ He stands and Eddie knows his voice is icy, that a deal in the woods doesn’t require so much bite but he can’t help it. He needs his shitty fucking day to be over.
Steve's cheeks redden and he picks at the table. Eddie was expecting a rise, that classic king Steve bite back. But he just looks kinda like he’s going to throw up? ‘I can roll. I. I could roll. My um, my hands shake. My hands shake so I can't roll anymore.’ And he looks sad, the puppy dog eyes just timesed themselves by like, 10.
Eddie melts. He knows his heart is too soft and squishy, his dad always loved to tell him so.
‘Hand it over Harrington. And change your face, you’re breaking my heart man.’ Eddie rolls his eyes and huffs and makes a big show of sitting back on the bench, like rolling a couple silly little blunts for silly little Steve Harrington isn’t literally going to take him 5 minutes.
‘Sorry, sorry. Um thanks. Thank you man, really.’ Ugh, he still looks sad and now he looks guilty too! Fuck!
‘You’re fine man, seriously. Okay? I’ve just had a shitty day, rolling your stupid blunts for you isn’t going to make it worse, promise.’ Eddie flashes his teeth, gets out his spare papers and starts rolling. The familiar movements helping him relax a little.
‘Okay well, thanks still. Uh and sorry, sorry your day was shit dude.’ Eddie side eyes Steve and watches him scrub a hand over his face. He really looks like shit, how did Eddie only just notice?
‘It's whatever. I’m simply forsaken to haunt the hallowed Hawkins High hallways for another year. A travesty for everyone involved honestly.’ and Steve just squints at him for a second, before breathing out a ‘shit, man’ which makes Eddie bark out a laugh. Maybe this new king Steve is more entertaining than the last one.
‘You wanna um, like, share? Now?’ And isn’t that a question, smoke up with the hair? Oh if Eddie of yesteryear could see him now.
‘Thanks for the offer your majesty but I have a prior engagement’ Eddie stands again and ignores that Steve looks a little disappointed… Weird fucking day. ‘Enjoy though. hope it helps you sleep dude, you look like you need it.’ Eddie packs up his things, he feels a stress headache starting and he really does just want to go home, play his guitar maybe. Build up the courage to talk to Wayne.
‘Sure, of course. Yeah, yeah. Thanks.’ Steve grimaces, but the corners of his lips rise a little, in a self deprecating way. It looks real, genuine. It suits him, Eddie thinks, being genuine.
‘No really, you kinda look like shit dude.’ Eddie can't help it, if he’s given a little he’ll take a lot. Especially if it’s from pretty boys who don’t look like they’re about to beat the shit out of him.
‘Get the fuck outa here Munson’ Steve rolls his eyes and is smiling like he's trying not to. Eddie’s lizard brain wants to eat him. Eddie’s Eddie brain still wants to go home, but the pit in his stomach feels a little shallower. He starts to walk backwards out of the clearing.
‘Hey, Eddie?’ Steve is looking at the two neat spliffs in his palm. Eddie slows his steps as Steve glances up at him. ‘Just. Uh. There's a lot worse things out there than repeating senior year a couple times, okay dude? A lot worse.’ And there's a fire behind Steve's eyes that Eddie didn’t know was possible. Intense, brave, harrowed.
Eddie is frozen for a second, held by this person in front of him. Someone he thought he knew, because Eddie knows how to read people and Steve Harrington was always so simple. But this Steve Harrington? This is new. Eddie's stomach twists. He needs to go home.
He bows deeply, flourishing his hand and spins on his heel… He might just keep an eye out for Steve Harrington from now on.
Summer 1985
This was definitely not what Eddie had in mind when he said he would keep an eye out for Steve Harrington.
He’s ready to head home for the night, after selling from the back porch of cheerleader Stacy Hofferman’s big ass house. The party was to celebrate the coming school year or something equally asinine. But his pockets are fat with rich kid cash and bummed cigarettes he didn’t need, so theres a fucking spring in his step okay? Sue him.
Steve Harrington is splayed on the front lawn, like a starfish and is humming some, carnival song? Wasted. Maybe a little crossfaded, but he didn’t buy anything from Eddie this time so he hopes the near empty vodka bottle is the only thing coursing through those veins right now. He doesn’t need to add Steve Harrington to his conscience tonight. But Eddie is a curious guy, so he saunters over.
Oh god. Oh no. Steve’s in shorts. Cut off jean shorts. Plus his hair still looks good, even all sprawled out on the grass. Fuck. Eddie hates him. He's still grappling with the memory of seeing Steve in that little sailor outfit at the mall. Now this!
‘You gonna sing me a song Harrington?’ Eddie’s sneakers stop either side of Steve's head and he leans over a little. Watches as Steve's eyes try to focus, squint a little before recognition brings a smile to Steve's face, mischief to his eyes. Huh, okay that's new. Not bad, but definitely new.
‘Daisy bell doesn’t have words Eddie’ Steve fucking giggles at him and okay, yep, yep. Wasted.
‘You got a ride home harrington? Might want to cut the party here, yeah?’ Eddie is a weak weak man and something about his first name coming out of Steve Harrington's mouth lights a little fire in his belly. Ugh. Disgusting.
Steve's face falls a little and his eyes go unfocused again. ‘Nah, can’t be there right now man. M’ good here.’
‘Outside on the grass? You not gonna try getting lucky tonight king Steve?’ Something about Steve being out here alone doesn’t sit right with Eddie. Sure Steve isn’t as surrounded with starry eyed guys and gals after graduating, and maybe a little before then too. But surely he came here with someone who would be pulling him up and away at the end of the night, keeping some sort of an eye out for him. Not that that person would ever be Eddie, but still. It’s, you know, the principle of the thing.
Steve sucks in a breath that puffs his cheeks out, eyes going comically wide before letting the breath out, slow. ‘Nahhhhh dude, haven’t been lucky for a long time.’ and his eyes go unfocused, glassy in the streetlights. ‘Doesn’t feel the same now anyway, not fun like it used to be.’ Suddenly he looks much older, older than Eddie, older than any 19 year old should. Lost in thoughts that draw great shadows onto the planes of his face.
His eyes snap back up to Eddie, the fog clearing a little. ‘Think the scoops ahoy uniform killed my chances off already anyway. Lots of good things to come out of the mall being destroyed, I don’t have to scoop ice cream in shorts for one.’ He laughs, a little hysterical, and Eddie kind of feels like he's intruding, like there's a lot more to what Steve is saying right now and Eddie is not privy to any of it.
Eddie smiles though and shoves his hands in his pockets, pulling out his pack and a lighter, fiddling with them. Steve takes another long pull from the bottle, god that shit smells like paint remover. Eddie can almost see the hangover brewing under Steve's honey skin.
Steve’s looking at him again. Upside down, on some girls' front lawn. And then he sucker punches eddie, out of fucking nowhere. ‘Stay and stargaze with me? Whadayasay Munson?’ his smile is dopey and drunk, he's so drunk. Drunk Steve Harrington just asked him to stargaze. Eddie thinks maybe the rumours about Hawkins being cursed actually might be true. But it's Eddie who’s cursed. Cursed to be confused by pretty jocks who turn out nothing like he ever expected.
‘Fraid not sailor, for I am Cinderella and the clock just struck midnight.’ Eddie amps up the theatrics, he's nervous. Steve Harrington can’t know how on the back foot he feels right now. Confusing, charming fucker. ‘I can also feel the old lady next door itching to call the pigs and I am not about to deal with their hairy eyeballs tonight. No sir, the summer air is too sweet for that.’ Eddie steps away from Steve, angling his back towards the street. He feels goosebumps rising, even in the heat. He wants to run.
‘You gonna be okay tho?’ Eddie can’t help it. Stupid. Steve Harrington turning his heart gooey for a second time.
Steve sits up on his elbows and looks at Eddie, eyes suddenly frighteningly clear. ‘You’re a sweet guy Munson. Anyone ever tell you that?’ Eddie shakes his head. ‘My secret then. Eddie Muson, total sweetheart.’ he says it into the breeze and Eddie is set alight at the idea of being seen. Being more than the freak who has the goods so we tolerate him.
‘Don’t go spreading my secrets now Harrington.’ Going for light but the tightness in his throat won’t let him, it comes out raspy. Eddis backs away to his van, parked at the end of the lawn. Steve just huffs a laugh and flops back down.
From the driver's seat Eddie takes his time lighting his cigarette and changing the tape. But his eyes are on Steve, as he gets up on shaky legs, swinging the nearly empty vodka bottle with him. He stumbles back into the huddle of bodies by the front door. Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Steve Harrinton, full of surprises. Eddie drives home and half hopes to never see him again. Eddie doesn’t much care for surprises.
Autumn 1986
Eddie shouldn’t be surprised, not now. Not by the Steve Harrington he went to hell with. Who dragged him back into the light. The boy with the nail bat who never seemed to stop swinging, not till Vecna was gone and the gates were locked up tight. Who’s hand still flexes like he misses the weight of the splintered wood, like he wants it back so he can protect the people he loves. Which by some divine intervention seems to include Eddie Munson of all people.
Eddie shouldn’t be surprised, but he is. Steve Harrington is the single most confusing person Eddie has ever met. He’s obsessed with him. He’s on his way to falling for him. Head over fucking heels fucked for Steve straight boy Harrignton. Divine intervention indeed.
Steve is waiting for him now, leaning on the hood of the beamer, picking him up after physical therapy, which is still kinda kicking his ass. What with the new colder temperatures making his bones ache and his dick nurse insisting that; no he couldn’t suck himself off before so he definitely won't be able to after, even with all the stretching he’s having to do. What fresh hell am I right?
Steve is waiting for him, with his stupid long legs and his ugly jacket and the disgustingly fond smile he tortures eddie with because he’s already wrapped in his winter coat. Hood up against the wind because the last, last! Thing Eddie wants these days is to be cold and apparently that amuses Steve enough to look at Eddie like hes a fucking kitten or something. Horrid!
‘Still a no?’ Eddie is scowling, he knows he is. He shakes his head and Steve's smile just grows a little wider. Fucker.
‘Come on.’ Steve flicks his zipper and Eddie gnashes his teeth at him. He’s not even in that bad a mood. Steve looking after him sometimes just kind of makes him feel all fizzy, electric.
It was worse before. Right after. When Steve was coming to visit him in hospital, almost more than Wayne, bringing Eddie things to read and generally being a ray of fucking sunshine compared to the staff and Eddie himself. He would sit with Eddie and Eddie wouldn’t want to talk because everything hurt. He would sit with Eddie and complain about the kids being annoying, bitch about his parents being the worst and bemoan the fact that he needed to find a new job ASAP and really didn’t want to get another shitty retail one. Wanted to find something he was really good at, maybe help people, look out for them the way he did Dustin and Robin, be something that was all him.
And Eddie? He ate up every bitchy, snarky, earnest moment of it. Got to know Steve Harrington that was equally everything and nothing like who he had met before. But the real fucking cherry on top? Eddie talked too, just as much once he started healing. Talked to Steve with and about Wayne, his shitty Dad, how much he loves metal and Dungeons and Dragons, how all he thinks he’s ever really wants to do is tell stories that make people feel a little less alone.
They talked and Eddie went and ruined it by letting his heart run away with itself. Fucking swan diving right off the ledge named ‘totally normal none gay feelings about Steve Harrington’ and into the pool of regret that is ‘I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him. Please God let me kiss him, it’s me again Eddie Munson.’ Pathetic.
So sometimes, when Steve is being just lovely, picking Eddie up. Eddie’s blood boils in his veins and his scarred skin buzzes with the tension of not being able to hold Steve’s hand across the gear stick like he so desperately wants to.
Eddie doesn't even have the energy to comment on Steve playing The Cure, making fun of him for letting Jonathan rub off on him too much lately (the four (+Argyle) of them hanging out regularly to smoke up). Instead, he internally makes fun of himself for feeling actually personally attacked by how relatable and familiar the whiny, lovesick lyrics sound. The sky opening up into a downpour just adding to the mood, pathetic fallacy up the wazoo today, apparently.
But Steve is talking to him so of course Eddie listens, because it's Steve and Eddie is what? Pathetic. That's right.
‘And then Dustin went on this whole spiel about how I should really be thanking him for everything he does. All the advice he gives me, that I did not, actually, fucking ask for. Can you believe the gaul of that kid Ed’s?’ and Eddie laughs at Steve because actually yes, yes he fucking can.
‘Maybe we should go full revolt and tell Mrs. Henderson about it, really take him down a peg. She’s basically adopted you, she'd take your side for sure Stevie.’ Steve nods at the idea but he’s still scowling because getting wound up seems to be his go to reaction for most things, being vaguely annoyed is his default. Eddie is not happy to admit that this is something he also finds attractive about Steve Harrington. Did he mention he was pathetic?
‘Well before that you talk some sense into him will you? He’s demanded I drive him over here tomorrow to hound you about something or other, don’t know what, he’s being all cagey and secretive about it. The little asshole.’ Steve is pulling into the dirt road driveway where Eddie and Wayne’s new little house sits. Just big enough next to the check and paid medical bills to make that NDA look actually very tempting to sign, yes, thank you, here was it?
Steve parks and the rain beats down on the roof, Eddie shifts to look at Steve's still grumpy face, grinning. ‘You coming in? We can brainstorm, get the little butt head to stop meddling and start respecting his elders. Or you know, we could get high.’ Steve's face morphs into that little smile again, the one he tries to hide, like he's fighting to stay grumpy. Eddie wants to bite him.
Steve's face shifts again and what comes out of his mouth shifts Eddies very being into the fiery pits of despair. At least that’s what he would say if he was unhinged, which he is not. Not. One. Bit.
‘Can’t man, I have a date.’ Steve waggles his eyebrows a little and Eddie feels his grin dim. The remaining smile stiffens. His face like wax.
‘Oh. Well. I won't keep you then. Go get 'em tiger and all that jazz.’ Eddie knows it comes out weird, like he’s annoyed and upset. Which he is. But he knows he absolutely shouldn’t be. He just can't help it. Fuck!
Steve is looking at him, he looks all worried and confused. Of course he's confused, no reason for Eddie to act the way he is. Act like a freak. Eddie needs to get out of here. Save them both from the weird ass vibes his treacherous heart has caused.
Eddie twists for the door. ‘Hold on Eddie, wait with me till the rain stops yeah? I’ll keep the heater running.’ Steve reaches out, hand on his shoulder. Eddie looks at his hand gripping the door handle and wishes. Wishes he could turn around and make a joke, say thank fuck because he doesn’t want to look like a wet rat from the rain, ask steve about the girl, maybe make fun of him if it seems like the really likes her. Anything. Wishes he could just be normal. Normal about Steve Harrington.
But he can’t. Steve has a date and Eddie’s heart hurts.
‘I gotta go Stevie, enjoy your date.’ and Eddie steps out into the rain, jogging over to the front door, already sodden. He unlocks it and steps inside, doesn’t look back once. Leaning against the closed door he slides down into a crouch. He’s in love with him. Fuck.
Winter 1986
‘Stevie? What the fuck?’
Eddie was expecting a night alone. It was the day before Christmas eve and Wayne had gone out with some work buddies. Steve was having some fancy dinner with his parents, Robin’s with her Grandma and the party had plans to all meet and celebrate here tomorrow. So, Eddie was going to sit and stare at a wall. Said wall was going to magically help him work up the courage to maybe kiss Steve’s cheek under the mistletoe that Robin had threatened him with. She knew all about his hopeless, disgusting crush on Steve and seemed to be reaching the end of her patience for Eddie’s chicken shit confession skills.
The plan so far consisted of some amalgamation of making a big joke about it, throwing up before and after or maybe just staring at Steve until he gains the ability to read Eddie’s mind. In other words, the wall was giving him nothing apart from the urge to bang his head against it.
The worst part of it all though? The devastating, world shattering part? Is that Eddie’s grubby little brain was starting to think that he might actually have a chance. Because Steve has been.. a little different lately. And while Robin has confirmed that he has not made any of these memories up in some kind of horny Steve Harrington fueled haze, she has also not explicitly told him whether Steve would actually be interested in dating a guy. So Eddie continues to torture himself with memories.
Memories like when Steve got the new Wham! Record and started asking if he should try growing out his facial hair because ‘it looks really good right Ed’s? With the earring too? Think I could pull it off?’ and then blushing when Eddie said ‘He is a good looking dude… you do kinda look like George Michael, so, I guess?’ because Eddie is trying okay? Feeling the waters that are coming out to Steve. Him blushing seems like a good sign. Right? (Robin had rolled her eyes very hard at this story and Eddie had not appreciated the attitude.)
Or at movie night last week Steve purposefully squished in next to Eddie, making Jonathan move further down. Before like, stretching and putting his arm along the sofa behind Eddie. But halfway through his arm was more, around Eddie's shoulders? And Steve was maybe, maybe twirling a strand of Eddie's hair through his fingers…
There was also maybe the fact that Steve had started staying the night a lot more lately. He did a whole lot before too, but now it feels a little… different. He’s not just there because he’s a biblically accurate angel who helps Eddie change his bandages when Wayne has to work. Or because Eddie smoked him out too hard and he couldn’t drive home. Or even because he has to pick Robin up in the morning and her house is closer to Eddie’s now. No, now it almost feels like Steve stays the night in Eddie’s bed, with Eddie, because he wants to.
God, Eddie wants to barf on himself for even thinking that! But Steve just, doesn’t go home. Instead he shuffles in beside Eddie, in borrowed sweats and having used the toothbrush that’s Steve’s in the bathroom. Snuggles down into Eddie’s pillows and slings a leg over both of Eddies. He’ll look all sleepy and soft and mumble out ‘night Ed’s’, like it doesn’t make Eddie want to clamber on his roof and howl at the moon.
Eddie is busy replaying these moments in his mind like the most depressing, angsty, pining VHS tape. So, hearing the walkie Dustin had given him crackle from under his bed, well, it makes Eddie near jump out of his own skin.
‘Shit. Shit. Hello? Um, hello? Over.’ Eddie’s hands are shaking as he fumbles with the walkie. He’s barely used it since everything ended, much preferring the telephone like, you know, most people!
‘Hi, um, hey Eddie..’ Steve’s crackly voice could be heard through the little speaker. Eddie stands up, taking a calm down lap of his room, his heart still beating fast. ‘Stevie? What the fuck?’
‘Sorry, sorry, this is dumb, sorry. Sorry I’ll, I’ll just go.’ Eddie peeks through his bedroom curtain. Steve, illuminated by the dash light in the front seat of his car, is on the front drive and Eddie can see the walkie gripped tight in both hands. Steve rocking slightly.
‘Oh Stevie.. Come in sweetheart, why are you still outside?’ Eddie’s voice is putty soft because something is wrong. All his fears have been switched for concern as he descends the stairs to the front door. Ripping it open to find Steve with his hand raised ready to knock.
‘Hi’ Steve’s smile is sheepish but Eddie can see his eyes are rimmed red like he’s had the shittiest fucking night. And now he’s embarrassed? Fuck that!
‘Come in, come in come in. Sit down Stevie I’ll get you some tea.’ Eddie putters around the kitchen, making tea as efficiently as possible to not keep Steve waiting, but also wanting to give him time to settle.
He was expecting Steve to be sitting on the couch, but Eddie finds him by the big bay window that looks out over the small backyard and further fields. It’s a nice view and the space is already set up with some blankets and cushions: Eddie likes to read here. Fat snowflakes have begun to fall outside. Steve has a blanket draped over his shoulders, he’s facing the window but his eyes seem to focus on something a million miles away.
‘Here. Take this doll, it’ll keep you warm.’ Eddie hands over the steaming mug and Steve cradles it in his hands, giving Eddie a ghost of a smile.
‘Penny for your thoughts?’ bumping shoulders with Steve he waits. Looking at Steve's profile in the soft lamplight. There are ghosts in his eyes and a tension in his shoulders that breaks Eddie’s heart. His brave friend Steve.
‘I just.. Do you ever feel like you weren't made for the real world? Ugh this.. I dunno what I'm saying.’ Steve runs a hand over his face and looks embarrassed. Eddie wishes he could just get it, understand without words so he could help, but life doesn’t work like that. He waits, taking Steve’s hand in both of his. The corners of Steve’s mouth twitch and he looks at their joined fingers. Eddie watches as he takes a deep breath. Eddie thinks he’s beautiful.
‘Its, it's just. When we were there, in that. When all that happened to me. Obviously it was horrible. Terrible. But, for a little moment? I liked it. I liked having a role, a job to do. I knew the stakes and I knew that the only, only important thing was keeping everyone alive. There was nothing more important than that.’ Steve is looking out of the window again. His eyes are fiery and raw. Eddie so often forgets how much Steve has seen, has been through.
‘All my life I've been told what’s important and what to care about. Which ended up being a lot of not caring or only caring about really really unimportant stuff. And I just can't do that again. I can't be what my parents want. My fucking, my Dad man, it’s never enough, watever I do. He made that fucking clear tonight.’ He grimaces and Eddie hopes he never meets Harrington senior because he’s getting decked and Eddie thinks he’s finally on Hopper’s good side so maybe that’s not the best idea. Although, he thinks he can make a pretty good case for himself.
‘I don’t think I can be what anyone wants. Guess I just dunno who I really am. Never have never will… But for a second in that hell, I was somebody. Maybe somebody. And now it's out here again and everyone has all these dreams. And I'm so so happy for them because you all can do anything. Every one of those kids has such a bright future. But I dunno how to do it, Ed’s. I hate it. I dunno how to live as just Steve anymore.’ Steve’s eyes have filled with tears and the hand Eddie’s holding trembles slightly. Eddie lays a soft kiss on his palm.
‘Steve Harrington you are so good.’ Eddie steels himself to look directly in Steve's eyes, making sure he understands. ‘You are free. You are free and that means you can do anything you want. Anything. Doesn’t matter how long you take to figure yourself out, or work out what it is you need. There are no rules okay? None, and anyone who tells you differently is lying. Especially if it’s your cunt dad, okay?’ Steve's pretty pink lips part and his cheeks are rosy, he really looks like he's going to cry. He also looks like that brave boy who swung a bat at the devil. He’s miraculous.
‘The ‘real world’ doesn’t exist and most of the expectations people have are bullshit. I should know, I don’t think I’ve ever done one thing that was expected of me in my whole life, honey. Guess you’re just a freak like me.’ Eddie grins with all his teeth. Steve's mouth opens and closes a couple times, eyes wide. Before he’s looking down at his lap and smiling, a few tears spilling out and dropping onto his jeans. ‘Your role is to be you Steve. Nothing more, nothing less. People love you for you, not for what you did, even though it was fucking incredible. They’re alive because of you but they love you for being you.’ Eddie takes a deep breath and swallows the ‘I love you’ on his tongue, not tonight.. But soon, he’ll do it soon. Pinky promise.
Steve has let more tears fall and he’s looking at Eddie like he's special. ‘Okay?’ Eddie squeezes their hands and Steve nods. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m. It’ll be. I’ll be okay.’ But Steve’s face crumples up again with a small choked sob. He sets down the mug heavily on the floor and covers his eyes with his forearm, folding in on himself. Succumbing to it all for a moment. Letting himself cry.
‘Oh Steve. Tell me what you need, baby.’ Eddie holds their joined hands tighter and tries to suck up all of Steve's sadness through the skin of his palm. Steve sniffs all snotty and rubs at his eyes with his sleeve. Before, finally, looking at Eddie with his pretty brown eyes and his dumb hair and his moles. Eddie’s heart feels loud but Steve's tear stained face looks more calm than he’s seen for a long time. His brave, beautiful, miraculous friend Steve.
“Let's just stay here, watch the snow a little longer." Steve says it softly, the moment feels like glass. The two of them in a snowglobe, safe on a shelf. Together.
‘Of course Stevie. As long as you want. I’ll stay.’ Eddie means it, in his bones, he wants nothing more than to stay in this moment a little longer. Steve asks Eddie to stay and Eddie knows now that he never, ever wants to leave again.
—
Morning light filters through the blinds and Eddie shifts, consciousness swimming in that slow way only deep deep sleep can bring. He feels breath on his neck, the weight of an arm over his chest, a hand on his heart, socked feet tangled amongst his bare ones.
He had taken Steve’s hand last night, after they’d watched the snow leave a blanket over the view from the window. After Steve's tears had dried and his eyelids had begun to droop. He’d lead Steve upstairs and they laid down together, wrapped in eachothers arms. Steve had fallen asleep first and Eddie let himself have a secret selfish moment where he stared down at the boy in his arms. Thought about how much had changed, but how, actually, the Steve in his bed had always been the Steve he knew, he just wasn't ready to see it yet.
Eddie is looking at him now, there's sleep crusted in his eyes and drool on the pillow and Steve's hair is sticking up in an alarming number of angles. He’s so ugly and soft in the mornings. It makes Eddie feel good. Happy.
They laze in bed, waking up slow and taking their time before starting the day. Eddie is on his back staring at the ceiling and Steve is leaning up on one elbow so he’s looking down at Eddie. He's staring. Eddie is trying to be very cool and calm about it. Very cool. Very calm. That's right!
‘Oh shoot.’ Steve snaps his fingers ‘I um, forgot your present at home, kinda left in a rush. Sorry.’ He looks genuinely sorry. Eddie doesn’t really care, because just having Steve here is gift enough. Yup, that's how Eddie Munson feels. It’s gross, he knows.
‘Guess I’ll have to end it all then’ Eddie says with a casual shrug. Steve snorts and shoves him like he doesn’t find Eddie's dramatic’s hilarious.
‘I do have something I can give you now though. A gift of sorts.’ Steve taps a finger to his chin and looks so mischievous. The light from outside hits the back of his hair so it glows, like a halo. Eddie wants to kiss him so bad. Kiss the angel boy in his bed. Shit.
‘It better not be a wet willy. Toby Hamelton gave me one once in the fifth grade and I literally punched him in the face on reflex Steve it was so fucking gross.’ Eddie knows he’s rambling but it’s the only way he won’t kiss Steve right now. Right on his pretty pretty pretty face.
Steve smiles at him so softly, so sweetly, like Eddie isn’t being super weird right now. Smiles at Eddie and leans in, ghosts his mouth so so close over Eddie’s, looks into his eyes. Eddie’s breath hitches and he can’t move but he swears he feels his pupils dilate.
Steve must see it too, because he closes the gap. Eddie’s eyes slide shut and his hands and feet tingle, there are fireworks going off in his ears and his lips fizz and he’s overwhelmed in the best possible way.
He’s kissing Steve Harrington. Eddie Munson is kissing Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington is kissing Eddie Munson.
Eddie pulls out of the kiss with a tiny gasp ‘You didn’t suddenly gain the ability to read my mind did you?’ Steve looks so perplexed, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a little ‘o’, staring at Eddie’s mouth. He gives a small shake of his head. ‘Okay good, good yeah. Good.’
Eddie goes back in, lifting a hand to Steve’s jaw, holding him softly while he sucks on his bottom lip. Steve is good at kissing, Eddie thinks he could write a whole album about this kiss alone. Maybe he will. He feels like he can do anything! Maybe he’ll kill God later, after breakfast. Why not? Ha!
They break apart for breath and Steve's pupils are blown wide, Eddie wants to drown in them. He feels giddy, maybe a little hysterical. ‘You know, before you came over yesterday I was working up the courage to kiss your cheek under the mistletoe.. Which seems super lame and embarrassing now that I think about it. Forget I said anything actually. Yeah, uhm so... Anyway, thank you. For. For the gift.’ Steve is loosing romance points for every stupid word he lets Eddies say.
‘That is pretty lame dude’ Steve smiles sweetly and Eddie knows it's lame and Steve is probably joking but he doesn't need to to be told that right now. Nasty boy… Also.
‘Dude? You sully this rapturous moment, nay my very existence! By calling me dude?’ Is that normal? Do people do that after they kiss? Surely Steve doesn't call girls he kisses dude. Oh no, Eddie’s spiralling. This is a spiral.
‘Eddie’ Steve tries but Eddie’s brain is filled with static. Eyes boring holes in the ceiling, hands flailing.
‘Steve Harrington kisses Eddie Munson and calls him dude, well I never!’ The gaul! The gumption! The audacity!
‘Eddie!’ Steve places his hand on Eddie’s cheek, turning it so they're looking into eachothers eyes.
‘Yes?’ Steve is so pretty and his palm is so warm.
‘I really really like you Ed’s’ and Steve must be able to read Eddie's mind because those words are like a balm on his soul. He feels his cheeks dust pink, all the fears and embarrassment float. Steve likes him back.
Leaning back onto his elbow Steve looks back down at Eddie on his back. The same as before but so so different. ‘Happy Christmas Eddie’ Steve's smile is dopey and perfect and this is the best Christmas ever.
#LexsWinterFicChallenge#StrangerThingsFestiveFun#steddie#steve x eddie#steddie fluff#christmas steddie#my fic#goblin and stevie baby big time#this was so fun to write#hope u all enjoy#can't wait for the little gay people in my phone to finally read this#hope it has them screaming!#hotlunch#<3
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A Poet Could Not But Be Gay — part 2
Part 1
Pairing: college!au Ellie Williams x f!reader
summary: You and Ellie text after you like her post and see each other in class again. You talk to each other, slowly growing closer.
word count: 2.1k
warnings: mutual pining, reader has no rizz, anxiety, English class
a/n: M (minors and men) DNI, please! Y'all I can't believe you guys gave me 34 notes on my first-ever fic!!! I'm literally on top of the world and it really motivated me to write another chapter so here it is!! 😁
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Ellie Williams: Hey stalker (;
You were frozen. Your breath had caught in your throat and you felt your entire body burning up as though you'd throw up at any second. Your phone screen had gone black by then and you only had time to blink before another notification came in.
Ellie Williams added you as a friend.
Finally, you were able to breathe. What the fuck is happening!? you thought. She has to be playing some kind of prank on me 'cause no one should be this cool about a random girl like a — how old was it? 5-week-old picture!
You decided that the best thing to do was to respond. She already knew you were online and you would only look more guilty if you ignored her. Ellie had caught you red-handed, sure, but she didn't need to know why you were looking her up. You started typing, probably taking way longer than you should to write a simple text.
you: hey! sorry i was just struggling with the homework and youre the only person i knew from that class so i looked you up
you: how are you handling the last minute assignment she sent us?
Really? A double text seconds after I was caught stalking her? I'm fucking dead. Every second that passed by felt like an hour. You were biting your nails, staring at the screen impatiently. She hadn't even seen it yet and you felt like she was judging you through the phone. After one minute, she opened the chat and started typing. Looking at those three taunting dots, you couldn't help but imagine all the texts she could be writing. Nightmarish thoughts were flying through your brain when her text finally appeared.
Ellie Williams: Oh fuck I hadn't even seen that email! What kind of psychopath of a teacher sends an assignment at 6pm?
You let out a relieved sigh, thankful she hadn't asked any questions regarding your lie. Your shaking thumbs started typing but you received another text.
Ellie Williams: And who even has a favourite poem to write 500 words about
Ellie Williams: Well you definitely do
You had to read that twice. She remembers about my poem. Your small smile grew into a grin, and the little exhale from your nose grew into a fit of giggles. You rolled onto your back before remembering you had to answer her.
you: im glad i was able to tell you about the assignment! and yeah i have a favourite poem and i absolutely LOVE telling people about it but i know how scatterbrained i can be so idk if ill be able to make sense
The two of you texted back and forth for a few minutes but your shyness held you back and your conversation eventually dwindled. After several minutes of radio silence on both ends, your phone vibrated again.
Ellie Williams: Well I'm gonna start writing that paper but I'll see you on Wednesday!
you: good luck with that!
you: cant wait to see you again :)
You held your breath, frightened by your boldness.
Ellie Williams: Don't miss me too much (;
You honestly thought you could have died at that moment. And there was that winking face again. You couldn't believe your clumsy mistake had led you to have an actual conversation! Outside of school! Sure it was mainly about your shared class but now it felt more personal. She wasn't just "Ellie, the hot girl from my poetry class" anymore. She was Ellie Williams, the charming girl you'd met in class and befriended and fell in love with and moved in with and married and — ok now. I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I don't even know her favourite colour yet. I don't even know if she likes girls, let alone me!
You decided that the best thing for you to do now was to focus on your assignment. It wouldn't take very long but at least it would keep your mind occupied for a little while.
Though the poem was about the beauty of nature and all it has to offer, you couldn't help but relate every verse to Ellie.
"they / Out-did the sparkling waves in glee" Ellie outdoes everyone and everything. There was not a single thing you could think of that you would rather look at than Ellie. There was no sound you'd rather hear than her laugh and no word you'd rather read than hers. I'm so fucking gay, it's ridiculous, you thought.
Some verses you felt rather poetic about, while others felt like they were describing the slight gay panic you'd had upon first seeing her, "I gazed — and gazed — but little thought". That's exactly how you'd felt. You'd stared at her sheer beauty and focused on nothing but her. The only thing you could remember from your time staring at her was the warmth that had formed in your belly and the tingling in your face.
You had known this girl for barely 8 hours and you could already see her in everything. Fuck, this is gonna hurt.
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Tuesday was somewhat uneventful. You'd been awoken by your alarm once again and had rolled over to check your phone. You were barely awake when you saw that Ellie had changed your name on messenger to "y/n🌸". Has she been thinking about me? you thought with a grin plastered to your face. Before you had time to overthink, you quickly changed her name to "Ellie 😉".
Neither of you texted the other again until Wednesday. It was a cool and cloudy day meaning everything had grey undertones and you refused to let yourself darken because of some stupid clouds. That's why you chose to wear your long sleeve, bright yellow shirt underneath short, green overalls.
The sky might be grey and sad but I'm looking like a ray of fucking sunshine! you told yourself in the mirror. The colour you wore made you feel invincible, as though you could conquer the world and make it bright again.
Eventually, after an interminable lecture, you were sat at your seat in your and Ellie's shared class, awaiting the girl herself. To busy yourself, you started taking out your books and laptop, putting your pens neatly out onto your side of the desk. While you were distracted, Ellie walked into the class.
Ellie's thoughts
Ellie's mind was racing, trying to figure out what to say to you when she saw you. She knew she would say hi; that was a given. But what then? She didn't want to just be an acquaintance to you. She wanted to be on your mind as much as you were on hers, which was constantly. Dreams of you consumed her nights which she loved until she woke up and realized you had barely talked to each other.
When she walked into the classroom, she nearly froze in the doorframe. Of course, she thought, on a gross day like this, she has to look like a ray of fucking sunshine. It was as though you were trying to make her fall head over heels for you.
When she started walking normally again, your head popped up and a genuine smile graced your lips. Ellie felt like the Earth had stopped spinning and smiled back with false confidence. She sat down next to you and told you her scripted, "Hi," in her usual, honeyed voice, adding an improvised, "how you doing?", proud she hadn't stumbled over her words.
"Hi," you answered, voice quieter than hers, "I'm doing pretty good. I actually finished the assignment on time, so the semester's off to a good start!" you said with a laugh.
Ellie laughed back, happy you had initiated a topic so she would get to keep talking with you. "Wow! Three whole days in and no late assignments yet! I'm extremely impressed." she replied, the glee evident in her tone.
You giggled and said, "You should be!"
There was a beat of silence and she was scared you had run your conversation to its course before it had even started. Then you surprised her by asking, "How have you been?"
She looked up at you, taking a few seconds to admire every line and curve in your face. "Oh, you know," she said, "I've been busier now that school started up again but I've been good." She paused for a second and continued, "I haven't been too busy to figure it out though."
A smile crept onto your face and she thanked her lucky stars that she'd kept talking. "Figure what out?" you asked.
With slightly shaking hands she hoped you wouldn't notice, she reached out to your arm and pushed up the sleeve of your shirt to reveal the tattoo you'd shown her. "This," she said looking back up, her eyes boring into yours, "It's Wordsworth right?" You nod and she goes on, "That's a sick name for a poet. I read the poem and I have to say, you've got some good taste, pretty girl." The name just slipped out of her mouth. Her eyes widened and she noticed your smile falter. She pulled away from your arm.
She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure but you spoke before she could, "I feel like with a name like that, he couldn't really go into any other profession, you know." you laughed dryly, clearly trying to ease the tension.
She laughed the same dry laugh and let out a quiet, "Yeah, he had to go into writing."
Luckily, your awkward moment only lasted a short time and Ellie was saved from any further embarrassment as your professor began her lecture.
About 30 minutes into the lecture, Ellie was flipping the pages of her textbook like crazy, trying to find the poem the class was discussing. She figured you had noticed her struggling because you tapped her on the arm and whispered the page number. She thanked you and started flipping to that page. In doing so, however, a page managed to slice through her skin, causing her to flinch and immediately suck on her cut.
She was cursing the paper when you tapped her arm again. She turned to you, finger still between her lips. You gave her a small smile and lifted something in your hand, "Do you need a bandaid?" you whispered. How could she say no when you were looking at her like that, big doe eyes full of concern.
She took her finger out of her mouth and agreed with a low, "Sure". Before she could do anything else, you grabbed her hand and wrapped the bandaid around her injured finger. Ellie could only stare at you, marveling at the care you gave to such a minor cut. "Thanks, y/n" she whispered. She thought she may have caught a glimpse of a blush on your cheeks but you had turned your head too quickly for her to tell for sure.
When she picked up her pen, she got her first good look at what you'd wrapped around her finger and laughed to herself. Of fucking course this personified beam of sunlight would carry around flower bandaids. I'm never taking this off. she thought as she admired her finger.
Back to your thoughts
You were looking up front but your mind was nowhere near whatever subject the professor was talking about. I touched Ellie! you though. Not the other way around! I touched her arm and then her hand! I'm gonna pass out. You were ecstatic, to say the least. You couldn't wait to call Taylor and tell her everything that happened during this second class with Ellie.
Soon enough, the class ended and you started packing your books. You got up, still giddy from excitement, and got ready to say goodbye to Ellie. She stood up after a few moments and spoke first, "So I was thinking," she said, her usual confidence seemingly vanished, "if you wanted to study or do assignments for this class, I'm free in the afternoon on Thursdays. We could meet in the library if you want. Or not even necessarily for this class, like, we could study for any class together if that was something you were interested in."
You gave her a quick open-mouthed smile. "Yeah!" you beamed, "Yeah that definitely sounds good. I know a secret spot in the library nobody ever goes to so we won't even need to worry about other people."
"Sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow then."
You both hesitated a little before moving to leave the classroom, and then again in the hallway, not sure of where the other was going. Seemingly amused by this, judging by the smirk on her face, Ellie put her hand on the small of your back, guided you in the direction you'd been headed in, and walked backward in the opposite direction.
"Bye, pretty girl!"
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Part 3
a/n: I got a little carried away in this one... Did you see how much touching there was! Whoo, that was borderline smut! But I told you there would be more talking! Also, I am obsessed with Romantic poetry, specifically William Wordsworth so sorry if there was too much of him in this chapter but I really love his work! You guys should all read "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud". It's a really short poem that may or may not have made me shed a tear. Anyway, leave any ideas you have for this story in the comments! I can't wait to see what you think!!
ps: lemme know if you wanna get tagged in the next one!
tags: @lonelyfooryouonly
#tlou#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x f!reader#wlw#lesbian#wlw fluff#college!ellie williams#not gonna lie this is the best thing I've ever written in my life
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Fic: Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You (9/?)
Short Summary: Blaine coming of age in 1969. Columbia University. Hippie!Kurt. Elliott and Sebastian as Blaine’s mentor-friends. Unironic use of ‘groovy’. Coming out and fitting in and falling in love.
Amazing Poster by @caramelcoffeeaddict
Full Chapter 1 (up to day eight) is now on AO3! Read it there for easy reading (and commenting!)
Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, Day 6, Day Seven, Day Eight
Day Nine: Regular (Truly destiny that this word falls on this scene)
Blaine eats dinner at the residence cafeteria with Sam and Tina, pushing around the dry roast beef on his plate. Chewing that gummy stuff seems too effortful when he's preoccupied. Honestly, making coherent comments in the mundane conversation about the pros and cons of the Beatles versus Simon and Garfunkel while replaying his conversation with Kurt in his head is complicated enough.
"Guys, I'm going to catch you later. I've just gotta make a phone call about show choir." The men's glee club, which he is still singing in, has become his cover for all things to do with the Homophile League. It's getting tired really and he knows he really should tell Sam and Tina. Tina is from New York and she even commented at breakfast the other day that the article shaming Earl Hall for hosting the homosexual group was so prejudiced and old fashioned.
"Are they still in the dark ages?" She shook her head to herself. "There's nothing wrong with it, really. This is the late 60's. It's time to let people be free to do what they want. You probably think it's gross," She looked up at him briefly before looking back down at the article. "But I think it's kind of hot." She said it proudly.
"I don't think it's gross," Is all he said.
"How modern of you."
He's more worried about Sam really. He's a guy. And he lives with him. If Sam is uncomfortable, he will be uncomfortable and that is a risky situation. All in good time, Elliott had told him. It's not a rush and it's his choice. He definitely needs to talk to Elliott right now.
He gets back to his blessedly empty room and dials him on his rotary phone. "Hey Elliott. It's Blaine."
"Is everything okay?" Elliott's immediately concerned.
"Yeah, why?"
"It's 9pm on a weeknight and wait - Did I forget a meeting or something? Sebastian's here and I think we got a little distracted-" Blaine can just picture the smirk on Sebastian's face in the background. He wonders if they have clothes on. And immediately wants to stop wondering. He guesses he doesn't usually call Elliott out of nowhere.
"No, no. I just - umm, I have some news?" Elliott hums in interest. "Turns out, that my friend, Kurt, you know from the-"
"Yes, Blaine. We know Kurt." That's Sebastian listening in the background. Back seat driver.
"Well, he is gay."
"Blaine, we know." Sebastian again. Elliott chuckles.
"I think the bigger news here is that you finally figured it out."
"How were you so sure?"
"Call it a sixth sense, takes one to know one. Been around the block - that kind of thing," Elliott says. "Oh yeah, and that he came to the Homophile League meeting. Honestly Blaine." Blaine can just see him rolling his eyes. With affection, though.
"The real question is why you didn't know, Blaine. What are you so afraid of?" Sebastian always cuts through the bullshit.
"Whatever Sebastian. I was just being respectful."
"And being a homo is disrespectful because..."
"Okay Seb, that's enough. Excuse me while I swat him away," Elliott says. "It's great, Blaine. We're always glad to have a new member of the team."
"And I declare it's officially your job to welcome him." Sebastian and his smug tone. Blaine loves and hates the implication. Because Kurt is attractive. And he is gay. Obviously Blaine has to make sure Kurt knows that he's not just lusting after him, that they are friends. Or he risks scaring Kurt away.
After their joint class the next day, Kurt wants a coffee before heading home and they end up finding themselves at a corner table sipping watered down campus cafeteria coffee made better by whole milk and sugar cubes.
"Do you miss home?" Blaine asks.
"Do I miss Lima, Ohio?" Kurt grimaces. "Look at me, Blaine." Blaine appreciates Kurt's always edgy outfit of the day - today plaid orange and brown bell bottoms with a silk brown button down shirt and an orange scarf around his neck. High fashion hippie, he's termed it in his head. "I spent a lot of years standing out - not in the good way -"
"And now it's in the good way," Blaine smiles at him. Kurt shakes his head with a little blush.
"I don't know about that, but I mean, I miss my dad sometimes, but I don't miss Lima. Do you miss Westerville? The guy you had a crush on? Your best friend, you said."
"Oh that? Yeah, that's Thad," Blaine waves dismissing the idea. "He's not gay, though. Doesn't know about me either. I don't know if I had a crush on him, or just the idea of him. I feel like all gay guys must have crushes like that."
"Not me." Kurt shakes his head. “Not at my backwards school. All my friends were girls. The guys I knew left much to be desired," Kurt frowns at the memory. "Greasy football players throwing me into lockers were not exactly my type."
"I'm so sorry, Kurt."
"Jokes on them really because they're working pumping gas at the Lima station and I'm in New York City studying Arts. They've peaked. I haven't even started."
"'Course not." Blaine looks at Kurt and takes a sip of his coffee. "I wasn't that brave in high school."
"Brave for getting beaten up by the football team?"
"I just spent my whole life trying to fit in - dress a certain regular way, play sports, fix cars-"
"I can actually fix cars, by the way. My dad's a mechanic."
"Of course you can," Blaine shakes his head. "I shouldn't be surprised by your zig zag. But I still am." Kurt is the coolest. "I just was so afraid of standing out. You just aren't," Blaine shrugs his shoulders and looks down.
"I just stood out. Wasn't even trying."
Blaine looks up and smiles. "Yeah," The blush rises on his cheeks. "I may have noticed you in our music history class."
Kurt crosses his arms. “I thought you didn’t know I was gay.”
“Well, it only crossed my mind because your clothes were way too cool to just be a hippie and you know, some stereotypes are worth embracing. Have you seen the hippies sitting on the campus green? Not exactly camera ready. I just didn’t want to assume or you know, hope.” He looks down quickly. He probably shouldn't have said that.
"Yeah," Kurt sighs but he smiles. If he feels uncomfortable from Blaine's confession, he doesn't react. "My superior fashion sense gets me every time. I did not notice you," Blaine crosses his arms back but Kurt looks like he's about to burst out laughing so he can't be too insulted. "As in, I mean, like I wouldn’t have known about you except for the dorm rap.”
“Like I said, I guess I try to fit in.”
“That’s what I thought about all those gays at the Homophile League before your rap session - it's why I hadn't even tried. I thought it would be a plea for tolerance because we're all just regular joes and I’ve wanted to get away from regular joes my whole life. I'm just not one.”
“And now that you know us?”
“I don't know about the rest of them, but you, you're not so regular.” Kurt smiles, cheeks flushed and pink and Blaine is sure his cheeks are matching. Blaine isn't sure if Kurt's handsome or gorgeous or what he's supposed to think but he feels butterflies and mildly nauseous sitting with him like this. Whatever it is, Kurt is hot. God, he should not let himself think these thoughts. "You have red shoes after all."
Blaine laughs out loud. "I do. And Kurt," Blaine pauses, "just wait until you see my bowtie collection."
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Books and Sins | Chapter Two [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]
Hello everyone! I'm Cer but you might remember me as @rosamundhr a.k.a. Rosamund, it was my nickname but I've changed my mind and I will use my own name Ceren, now. (Cer for short hehehe) Unfortunately I lost access to @rosamundhr so I will keep posting my stories here! I hope you enjoy it and I apologise for making you all wait for so long! Love you all, stay safe. 😸❤️
Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.
Warnings: Mature content, self harm, violence, swearing.
Word count: 1855
Feedbacks are much appreciated and so motivating!
Chapter One
---
Katherine woke up with a weird feeling inside her chest. She was mad at herself for being like this: She could like someone so easily and fall in love with them soon after. It was not her fault though, he was really charming. Too good looking to like her back. However, she tried to convince herself that she just liked him and was attracted to him because he was a writer and well... Handsome as fuck. Not to mention his gentlemanly behaviour. Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her phone to tell her best friend about it. She didn't really have lots of friends and she never complained about it, she liked solitude.
She scolded herself for being that excited about the thought of seeing him again. He was the very first thing that was on her mind in the morning and she wanted to talk to him again. So badly.
K: Morning!
S: Morning to you too 🤣
You're texting me 'morning' since when?
K: Stop being sarcastic. Can't I be nice to my best friend?
S: Of course you can, I'm kidding. I just wondered what made you this cheerful... Or who, I should say.
K: You know who.
S: Oh do I?
K: Come on, Samantha! The man I met yesterday. I can't get him out of my mind, I don't know what happened to me but he's like... Cigarette.
S: You're smoking? Since when???
K: Of course I don't! It was just an example, idiot. Just can't get him out of my mind. What do I do?
S: Text him maybe?
You won't seem desperate, don't worry. I am sure he found you attractive as well and he might even be in love with you.
K: Okay, no need to exaggerate.
What do I say, good morning or hi?
S: It doesn't matter!
K: Okay, I'll text you later.
Are you sure I won't seem desperate?
S: JUST TEXT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE!
K: OKAY I WILL!
S: Don't forget to tell me about it. I gotta go now, talk to you later. xxx
K: Bye! ❤️
---
There was something different about him. Did she like him because he was attractive or because he was nice to her? She had to admit that he was attractive, but there was something else in his voice, in his looks, in the way he talked. She actually found him beautiful.
Taking a deep breath, she finally decided to text him.
K: Good morning. :)
Was he still asleep? Maybe he was at work. Wait, do writers go to work? Maybe he had another job. Maybe not. Maybe he just did not want to talk to her... Why wasn't he replying?!
She sighed in frustration as she took a big sip from her coffee and burned her tongue.
B: Morning, Katherine.
How are you? :)
He finally replied after 10 minutes. She bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat, and started typing.
K: I'm good! Getting ready to go to school.
K: I mean work.
God, I'm an idiot, she thought.
K: How about you?
B: Just got out of shower, that's why I replied late by the way. Sorry about that. :)
K: I was wondering if you would like to meet again sometime.
She grinned as she bit her lip, that's what she always did when she was nervous or excited.
---
K: I would love that! When will you be free?
B:I'm always available for you.
Whenever you'd like. :)
She started squealing in excitement. What did he just say?!
K:I'm free in the afternoon.
B: Wonderful. How about the café we met?
K: Sounds good. Is 2PM okay for you?
B: Yes. I am looking forward to it, Katherine.
K: So am I. :)
I gotta go now, see you later. x
B: Have a good day. See you. x
She looked at her watch and she was 30 minutes late already. Without telling Samantha about it, she started to get ready in a hurry.
She was never late for work, so no one was upset with her being late.
---
''...And my mum said I'm out of my mind!''
Katherine just could not get him out of her mind, and she hated it. She did listen to her counselee but couldn't pay any attention, and now she was crying. She gave her a tissue, ''I understand you, Jane, and I hope telling me about it made you feel better. I know how difficult it is for you, but I have a suggestion. When I was your age, I found a way to deal with my problems: being your own counselor.'' She smiled warmly.
''My own counselor? How?'' The young girl sniffled.
''I imagined that I was told about everything I am going through, and I had to find them a way out. Think of it as if you're reading your life in third person of view. I did it for years and I still do when I don't want to tell people about my feelings. Plus, I found out that it was scientifically proven in college, so it is safe and it actually works. How does that sound?''
She wiped her tears, ''I can try...''
''So tell me, what would you say to yourself if you were someone else?''
''I think I would say that maybe..." She sniffled, "Maybe her mother wasn't feeling good as well.''
Katherine smiled, ''That's it! You are right. We all have problems that we don't want to tell the others and sometimes we might burn out on people we care about the most without being aware of it. You can ask your mother if she is feeling alright, it doesn't matter whether you are still upset with her or not; maybe you can help her as well just like you just helped yourself. That was very brave of you, in my opinion.'' She smiled wholeheartedly.
The girl who was just crying smiled and said ''Thank you very much, Miss Daelan. It's going to be the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm home.''
''You're welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime.'' She got up to open the door for her and then left the room as well before checking her phone.
3 new messages from Samantha
S: Hey! Send screenshots!!!
Are you there?
Kath!
K: I'm sorryyyy I was late to work already and then forgot to text you.
Here you go:
*screenshots*
S: I told you that he liked you as well, he is flirting with you!
K: No he's not!
S: He adores you!
K: You are really exaggerating.
''Miss Daelan, do you have a minute?'' Katherine looked up at the principle, "Yes, Mr Brealey."
K: The principle wants to talk to me, I'll ttyl xxx
S: What did he say?
The old man opened his room's door for Katherine, she smiled and walked inside. He gestured her to sit down, "Please, have a seat." he said and closed the door. After sitting down, he cleared his throat and said "Miss Daelan, I... Erm..."
He loosened his tie, couldn't dare to look at Katherine. His cheeks were red and there was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The young woman frowned a little, listening to him in curiosity. "I've known you since the day you started working here and... I must say that you are the most intelligent, kind, beautiful woman I have ever seen... I can't take my eyes off you because you're an amazing woman and I... I love you."
Katherine was shocked, didn't know what to say at first. She did not feel honored at all, she was disgusted. "Excuse me? I thought you were married!"
"Yes but I don't love my wife, I'm going to divorce her soon; you must understand Miss Daelan, I love you! Please give me a chance..." And now she felt her blood boil in her veins.
"I am sorry but it's never gonna happen. I suggest you to divorce your wife as soon as possible to keep her away from an asshole like you." Katherine stood up angrily and walked towards the door, "But Miss D--" and she shut the door.
K: FUCKING HELL!
He said he loves me!
He's fucking married, Samantha!
*seen*
Are you there?
*seen*
K: I guess you are busy
I'm going home to get ready, talk to you later xxx
S: Sorry, I had to deal with a costumer
What a prick!!!
How dare he?
I want to kill him.
K: Violence is never the answer but yeah, I pity on his wife to be honest. He even has children.
ANYWAY
WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?
S: Whatever you're comfortable with. :)
K: How about a dress?
The one I wore when we last met?
S: You look so hot in it 🔥
Wear that one!
K: It covers all of my body, it's kinda tight and there's NO WAY I can look hot in it. I don't want to look pretentious anyway.
S: Anything you wear looks good on you, love!
K: Gay. 🤭
S: Shut up. Wear it!
K: LOL sorry!
I gotta go nowww
S: Tell me all about it when you're home, IF you go back home ;) Good luck!
K: I WILL and thanks! ❤️
The young woman sighed as she tried to find her keys. She was still mad at the principal and it was frustrating her.
After a short shower, she dried her hair with a towel and let her curls down on her shoulders. She wore the dress and looked in the mirror, It actually looks good, she thought. After applying some makeup and wearing her favourite her perfume, she was ready. She didn't like to wait and hated making the others wait for her as well, so she left her flat at 1:30PM. It took her 15 minutes to get to the café and she realized that she wasn't the only one who was punctual.
"Hi..." She said as she walked towards the man she couldn't get out of her mind. He was wearing a brown jumper with beige trousers and she breathed his masculine, minty cologne in. Her heart was beating faster already.
"Oh, hi, Katherine!" He stood up and for one second she didn't know what to do. Should she shake his hand or kiss his cheek? Or hug him? The young man leaned down and kissed her cheek before hugging her, she was shaking inside.
He felt her body close to his. He felt her delicate, pale skin; and her linden scent made him feel dizzy. Her arms hugged his chest and he felt her plump, beautiful breasts. He watched her dress tighten around her curves as she moved.
She was so beautiful and he could barely keep his hands to himself. He could kiss and take her right there, but didn't. He had to control himself until she submitted to him, which wasn't going to take long because it was in her blood. Submitting, obeying, and being his. He just knew it, and he was going to take what belonged to him. Katherine, belonged to him.
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Chapter Three
Please let me know what you think! ❤️
#benedict cumberbatch#benedict cumberbatch fanfiction#fanfiction#benedict cumberbatch x reader#benedict cumberbatch smut#christian bale#joe goldberg#you#american psycho#fucking psycho benedict#psychopath#writer#i'm tired#fan fiction#benedict cucumber#benadryl cucumbersnatch#benadryl cabbagepatch#khan noonien singh#star trek#star trek into darkness#patrick bateman#alexander masters#tom hardy#stuart a life backwards#sherlock#sherlock bbc#smut#marvel#doctor strange#dark!benedict cumberbatch
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Broken Arm Bath Time
Characters: Aguni Morizono, Hatter
Genre: Fluff. Aguni washing Takeru's hair and it's so soft.
2.1k words
Jokes on you slimy meatball I fucking did it! Of course, I can't say shit without getting a teensy tiny bit inspired by @hatterstan-shameblog 's latest fic (Please go take a gander it is neat), but otherwise this is wholesome and neat, perhaps 50% gay energy-
Aguni doesn’t get the chance to step into his apartment before he got a call, his phone vibrating rather exuberantly for 5 in the afternoon within his pocket. He sets down his groceries and pulls out the phone, a simple black flip phone as he didn’t really need to use it for much else. The number was all too familiar, Aguni pressing the answer button and holding it up to his ear.
“ Hello.”
“ Mori, hi! My good pal, best barbecue corn chip in my life, my beautiful-“
“ Get to the point Takeru.” Aguni takes his keys out of his pocket to unlock his door, Takeru humming nonchalantly.
“ Well, you know how I broke my arm last week?” Takeru chirps. Aguni answers with a simple short noise of acknowledgement, mentally imagining Takeru’s calm yet dopey smile on the other end.
Aguni remembered it quite well actually, briefly reminiscing as he opens his door and hauls his groceries inside. The two were actually out on a fishing trip together, although it was less for the fish and more for Takeru to hang out on a boat they rented all day wearing fishing hats that Takeru found in storage in the back of his shop. It was supposed to be a simple trip, catch some fish, drive around the lake, nothing tiring.
That is, until Takeru managed to hook in a monster one. The force of it yanking, coupled by him leaning a little too far (Aguni did try to warn him), led to him falling off and slamming his arm against some rocks that they were parked near.
The force managed to break it upon impact. It was a freak accident, but Aguni did have to get their driver to drive them back to the docks and call an ambulance for his friend. He had to hand it to Takeru though for keeping a brave face and not cry too loud as they used some ice from the fish cooler to keep it somewhat numb from pain until the paramedics arrived. Takeru did whine a little about the fish that stole his rod and how the day didn’t go as he hoped, but Aguni wasn’t focused on the results of the fishing trip. He somewhat knew Takeru was worried as well, but Takeru probably didn’t want to dwell on it and feel the effects more than if he focused on anything else.
The doctors said that it was a clean break, but he’s still need a cast to keep it in place, Takeru receiving all the instructions about how to care for it.
“ Well, you see….. I need to take a bath.” Takeru explains, Aguni saying nothing as he stocks his fridge and pantry, letting Takeru continue. “ And as you know full well, I can’t get my cast wet. Adding on to the fact that a I can only do so much with one arm…..”
Aguni swears he can hear Takeru pouting on the other end. He sighs, shutting his pantry and leans against the door. “ Do you need me to come over.”
“ Oh that would be wonderful. Yes, please do. I’ll be waiting!” Takeru hangs up, Aguni slipping his phone back in his pocket and walking right back to the front door. He leaves his apartment not even ten minutes of finally getting inside, and after locking the door Aguni makes the rather short distance to Takeru’s apartment. It was easier for them to live close to each other, even if it meant Aguni got minimal heads up before Takeru let himself in to his apartment.
Aguni enters with the spare key Takeru gave him when they first got the places, shutting the door behind him and switching to the fuzzy slippers that Takeru leaves for him and him only.
“ Mori!” Takeru peeks out from the hallway once Aguni comes in, waving with his free hand that was attached to his only good arm, Aguni not bothering to wave back as he closes the distance, Takeru smiling and dragging him to the bathroom.
The cast that rested in the sling was a soft red colour, which he insisted wasn’t just pink — not that Aguni cared, it was just a cast — and already covered in small doodles made by Takeru himself among other people that likely pitied Takeru’s poorly arm and wanted to decorate it. Even Aguni had something on there, on insistence of Takeru the day he got the cast done. It was a simple and poorly drawn flower done in black marker, but Takeru was happy with it. Compared to all the other, much more colourful and creative things that surrounded it, it almost looked like such a sad excuse for a doodle.
Still, Takeru assured him that he loved it. Aguni watches as Takeru pulls out a plastic bag and some rubber bands that he was going to use to cover the cast, sliding the bag over his right arm. Aguni didn’t have to be told anything as he grabs the bands and pulls them over the bag and cast, holding it firm so no moisture would accidentally get inside. It wasn’t too tight to cause his friend discomfort, and the two head together to the bathroom.
The bath, unsurprisingly, has already been run, Aguni dipping his finger in the still warm water. Takeru strips into nothing from him, and Aguni steps back to let him sink into the water, Takeru letting out a satisfied breath. “ Ah, this is nice~”
Aguni kneels down next to the tub and positions Takeru’s arm so it rested outside, Takeru grabbing a bottle from a metal rack that was within his arms reach. Takeru holds it out to Aguni with a smile, Aguni wordlessly uncapping it before pouring a little into the water and turning the faucet on again, bubbles soon emerging along with the scent of lavender and apples.
“ You are such a saint, Mori. Who knows how I would’ve survived without you in here!”
“ You would have done okay, you know.”
Takeru chuckles, leaning his head back and sinking further into the water, Aguni laying a hand on the arm that had to stay outside. “ Yes, but I would have felt oh so uncomfortable! Curse past me for getting bottles that don’t work with one hand.” He lays his other hand over his forehead as he lets his head loll to the side in anguish.
Aguni lets him be to soak for a bit, getting up and going through his friend’s rather extensive soap options. Unlike him, Takeru preferred to smell nice everyday instead of going about in a natural scent or, as Takeru calls it, ‘The artificial man scent of trying too hard sometimes’. He did own said artificial man in a bottle, but they were only for very specific uses.
“ Which one do you want today.” Aguni brushes his fingers through the bottle, Takeru humming as he thought.
“ Obviously something to pair with this!” Takeru splash taps the surface.
Aguni grabs a random bottle and holds it down to hover in front of Takeru’s face, not bothering to read the label or check if it paired. He didn’t even know what would pair with the bubble bath, Takeru was always the one that knew the answer and differences. All Aguni ever did in his own shower was a simple shampoo and body wash before leaving. Takeru had a ritual in his own bathroom, and Aguni barely could comprehend it outside of a lengthy process that Takeru religiously followed.
“ This is a body wash, Mori. Try again.” Takeru pushes the bottom of the bottle up, Aguni putting it back and choosing one that he actually read to be a shampoo.
“ Hmm….. not today, Mori. We’re going for a nice floral today, not woody.”
“ It’s both nature based. Smell like an apple tree today.”
Takeru snorts, Aguni putting the bottle back and choosing the next one that almost was promising. Takeru inspects it for a bit, before letting a pleased note out from his throat, Aguni kneeling back down and setting it on the bath mat. He grabs the shower head and guides it down to Takeru, reaching over and turning it on. Takeru lets out a sigh through his nose as Aguni starts washing his hair, Aguni staying steady and firm as he wetted Takeru’s locks. Setting the head down after turning it off, he opens the bottle and dispenses a fair amount before rubbing it in his hands, getting a good lather before massaging it into Takeru’s hair.
“ See Mori? How would I get such sublime treatment for my hair care by myself. You do it so well.”
“ Thank you. You could have at least tried by yourself.”
“ Mori I can’t simply get a good lather with one working hand.You, maybe, because you have less hair and the bathroom routine of the average male. I would not be surprised if you used your own hair as a method to work one up. Me? I could never. It would be like rubbing dish soap on a plate raw.”
Aguni nods, making sure to be thorough as Takeru liked it to be. He’s gotten enough lectures about his friend that he had a decent idea of what Takeru liked during bath time, or even a shower. To be honest, this wasn’t even his first rodeo of washing his friend’s hair, for many different reasons that always ended with a platonic bath or hair care.
“ Alright Mori, that’s enough. You’re gonna rub out too much oils at that rate.” Takeru tells him after a few more seconds, Aguni turning on the shower head once more and rinsing out the shampoo. Takeru quietly hums as he did so, and once Aguni was satisfied that he got it all, gets up and tries to find some conditioner for him. He finds it after a short look, kneeling down again as Takeru confirms that he took the correct bottle. Aguni squirts a fair amount into his palm and lathers it just like the shampoo, although it didn’t made suds as it simply spread it across his palm to apply to Takeru’s hair. He picks up the hair in sections and rubs conditioner into it, Takeru idly humming some tune that Aguni vaguely remembers.
He doesn’t register his own quiet singing along until Takeru joined in at the chorus. “ Stay with me~ 真夜中のドアをたたき~”
“ 帰らないでと泣いた…. あの季節が 今 目の前….. Stay with me…”
“ 口ぐせを言いながら 二人の瞬間を抱いて~”
“ まだ忘れず 大事にしていた….”
Takeru peeks at Aguni with a small smile, Aguni offering the slightest one of his own. He rinses off Takeru’s hair of the conditioner thoroughly as they both end up going through the rest of the song in a gentle duet, making sure not to leave a single strand unwashed of the product.
“ Now the body wash. Can you do it yourself since I did your hair?” Aguni asks, Takeru nodding and sitting up to reach for the loofah and grab some body wash in reach, using the edge of the tub to click the bottle open. Aguni still had to help him get the soap onto the mesh mass, but he at least could sit back and let Takeru finish by himself.
“ You can help yourself to a snack in the fridge, Mori. As thanks.” Takeru tells him as he scrubs himself, Aguni briskly nodding and leaving the bathroom. He washes his hands in case of any spare suds left on his hand before raiding Takeru’s fridge. He procures a single pear and stands in Takeru’s kitchen eating it — after he quickly rinsed it, like he should — until Takeru finally emerged, towel still on head as Takeru dried it one-handed and fluffy white robe around his frame and bagged cast.
“ That was a good bath~ Thank you ever so much~”
Aguni lets out a soft grunt noise in response, pear still in the stage of being dissected between Aguni’s teeth.
“ Oh, and while I heal, would you mind coming over ever so often to do it again? A man’s gotta keep his routine after all.”
Aguni breaks a piece the pear from its body and silently chews, staring at his friend idly smiling from where he stood, towel now draped over his shoulders.
Aguni swallows his pear, and after careful deliberation, offers a short nod.
#aib#alice in borderland#aib fanfic#alice in borderland fanfic#morizono aguni#hatter#takeru danma#very soft very wholesome#takeru owns a lot of different scents in that bathroom alone just for any occasion#aguni on the other hand only owns the scent of standard care in his for every occasion#yet they can respect the others decision to smell as they do#them singing together? bop#aguni has been with takeru's takeruness for so long he's gained an understanding of what his friend wants#they both came out of that experience smelling like floral#aguni doesn't care about his friend being butt naked how else is he going to bathe-#yes I borrowed the lyrics straight from the source and yes takeru starts the chorus first
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Last Christmas
A/N: heyooooooooo so I haven’t written something in god knows how long but uh, here’s a fun story from the I Like You A Latte universe. It’s kind of alternate universe where Yoongi and Y/N never worked together and this is their little beginning story. So anyway, here is a Christmas gift from me to you..
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Word Count: 4,330
Genre: fluffy with smut. its like half smut. there wasn’t supposed to be any but it happened and I’m sorry.
READ I LIKE YOU A LATTE HERE
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The atmosphere of the coffee shop was always welcoming and warm. You didn’t get to come out often and enjoy yourself, but when you did, this was your go to spot. God knows how long it’s been since you actually stopped in though. In lieu of coming here, you had taken to tar like coffee from gas stations on the way home or Jimin’s overly sweet coffee he made every morning. You missed this place. Something about the dim lighting and freshly baked goods always on display with the warm scent of coffee beans permeating the air, seemed to calm you down. Not to mention the staff had always been energetic and could put a smile on your face no matter what kind of sour mood you came in with.
Today was no exception, you had a large marketing meeting on the game you and Jungkook had developed over the last year and a half. Blood, sweat, and tears were poured into this project and you finally were ready to send your baby out into the world. It wouldn’t have been so nerve wracking if your last game hadn’t been a flop. Granted it was a gift for your team, and was never meant to be seen by other players, but Taehyung had insisted that it be put up as an indie title. It sunk nearly to the bottom of the “free to play” due to it’s low scores, and it damaged your self esteem a bit. Looking back you can definitely see why it got the ratings it did, but your team loved it and that’s all that mattered to you.
Reaching down into your bag, you pulled out your laptop and turned it on. While you waited for it to load, you went back to the counter to order a latte. The overly friendly red head who worked there all but bounced to the counter to take your order.
“Hey, don’t I know you?” He asked, leaning slightly in to peer at your face.
“Uh, maybe?” You said cautiously.
A hand flew from nowhere and slapped the red head on the arm, “Hoseok, please do not lean over my perfectly clean counters. And refrain from getting into the young lady’s face.” a tall man with black shaggy hair poked his head around the dessert case. His large brown eyes were narrowed in Hoseok’s direction. It would have been intimidating, but the fact that he had flour plastered on his right cheek, took away the effect he was hoping to have.
“Sorry, Jin.” Hoseok said sheepishly.
“And you do know her.” Jin added before ducking back behind the desserts to arrange them more neatly.
“He does?”
“I do?”
You and Hoseok questioned at the same time, wearing the same confused faces. “Mm. She used to be a regular.” He said distractedly before smiling in triumph at his work. “It’s been what, a year since you’ve been in?” He asked with a polite smile.
You bit your bottom lip in thought, has it been that long since you’ve been here? You honestly couldn’t remember. How long have you holed yourself up in your shared apartment? Nodding slightly to confirm his question, you looked a bit embarrassed for not even remembering. “I’d have to agree. It has been a while since I’ve been here.”
“Glad to have a customer back, then. I hope it wasn’t our coffee or desserts that drove you away.” Jin beamed and leaned his elbow on top of the case full of sweets.
Your hand flew the back of your neck in embarrassment, “ah, not at all!” You spit out, “actually I just got really busy and didn’t have much time to enjoy myself.” You explained, wondering why you were even explaining.
“Mm, that’s right. I remember you used to come in here and study. Are you still in school?” Jin questioned further, your eyes catching Hoseok step away from the counter to busy himself with your order.
“No, I graduated a year ago. I’ve been working on a project for the company I work for,” you smiled in appreciation to Hoseok as he slid your drink across the counter, “I am a game developer.”
Jin’s eyebrows shot up and he had an impressed look on his face, “that’s pretty cool. Will it be anything big we may hear of?”
You blushed at the thought of one of your games actually making it big, “I don’t know yet. I have to pitch the game first before our developer decides what kind of marketing it will get.”
“Well, whenever your meeting is, I’ll be rooting for you!” Jin smiled so his eyes turned into little crescents and you felt a wave of warmth flush through you. Typically when you told people what you did, it usually ended up with them scoffing or laughing in your face. Hardly any support came from your family, and your housemates were the only ones who really had your back through it all. However, the kind words of an almost stranger, welled you with confidence you needed.
Picking up your mug, you uttered a quick thank you before Jin turned to leave. Before you could turn away though, a figure stepping out of the back caught your attention. Blonde hair that was pushed under a black cap, with a handsome but almost pretty face looked back at you. Long, thin fingers stopped in their quest to tie a black apron around a thin waist. You felt the smile drop from your face as images began to flash in your mind.
Hands on your abdomen, mapping out every curve and swell of your body. Lips, hungry for more as they devoured your own. Hot breath brushing across your breasts.
Snapping out of your daydream you quickly turned to escape, hoping to God, that wasn’t who you thought it was. Even after a year, you could still remember that face clearly. Those eyes that stared into your soul, but were kind and loving.
“Shit..” you muttered. You didn’t dare to glance back just to double check. Instead you made it your one and only goal to get back to your seat and get to work on fine tuning your presentation. After all, it was what you came here for. You needed the peace and quiet, and you’d be damned if you risked it.
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Saving your work, you breathed a sigh of relief as your arms stretched above your head, popping your stiff joints. It was finally done. Officially. Your project proposal was turned in and you fine tuned everything until nothing more could be done. You felt accomplished and proud.
Tapping quickly on your phone screen, you see three and a half hours had passed by. “Shit!” You exclaimed, quickly shutting your laptop down and stuffing everything into your bag. You pulled on your coat and slung your bag over your shoulder before picking up your empty mug and returning it to the counter.
“Oh, wait!” Someone exclaimed from behind you. You glanced over your shoulder to see the black haired man rushing towards you with a paper bag in his hand. “This is for you, dear.” He handed you the decorative bag with a smile.
“Thanks! How much do I owe?” You looked down and began rummaging in your bag for some cash.
“It’s on the house.” Jin replied with a sly smile.
“Oh..well thank you.” you returned his smile but an uneasy feeling sat in the put of your stomach.
“Don’t thank me,” he winked, “but you seem to be in a hurry so you best be on your way.” He shooed you with his hands as you suddenly remembered you did have somewhere to be an hour ago. You spun on your heel with a quick goodbye and headed out the glass doors into the cool night air.
After two bus transfers you were finally back at the apartment. Flipping the keypad open, you could already hear the angry yelling from inside and you braced yourself before pushing open the door.
"I'm home!" you shouted from the entry way, making a beeline straight for your room before your three roommates could stop what they were doing and make their way to you. You were almost safe until a foot in the doorway stopped you from closing the bedroom door all the way.
"A little late, huh, Y/N?" Taehyung's voice called sweetly from behind you. A quick glance over your shoulder revealed him to be standing there with a smirk plastered on his face as his arms crossed over his chest.
"A little." you said meekly.
"That's dinner on the house. We ordered a lot of food, so you can take care of the bill when it gets here." he said, still with the smirk ever present on his gorgeous face.
"Of course, of course. Can I close my door now? I want to get changed and logged in so we can raid." you tried to usher him from your doorway but he pushed himself inside.
"I wanted to stay though," he pouted while flopping across your messy bed.
You sighed and walked over to him and grabbed him by the wrist and pulled on him, gesturing for him to leave, "You know you can't. Get out."
"I'm gay, it's totally okay." he tried to reason.
"It's not though, get out." you tried to pull on him again but he was as stubborn as ever. "Hey," you had an idea, "I have a pastry in that bag over there and it's all yours if you get the hell out of my room."
That perked him right up, and in one swift motion he was off your bed and grabbing the bag and out of the door before you even had a chance to blink. Sighing with relief you locked your door and undressed quickly, changing into a pair of plain sweats and a hoodie.
Your chair creaked under your weight as you hurridly plopped in the seat to log in to the game so you could do some raids with the guild. MMORPG's weren't usually on your list of games to play, but Jimin played it once and got everyone to play with him and now you all were hopelessly hooked on them. It was a nice change of pace from the shoot and run games you usually played.
"NO FUCKING WAY!" you heard Taehyung screech from down the hall in his room, causing your to jump up from your chair and run towards your bedroom door. As you were pulling it open, Taehyung was pushing it in.
"No. Fucking. Way." he repeated, his eyes literally sparkling and a big lopsided grin on his face.
"What? What's wrong?" you asked, quickly looking him over to make sure he hadn't hit his head and completely lost his mind.
At that moment, Jimin and Jungkook showed up behind Taehyung, looking concerned for their tall friend who stood before you. Slowly, Taehyung began to raise his hand with a bright yellow post-it note in it. He held it in front of your face and it took you a solid three seconds to let your eye focus on the perfectly written words on the paper.
"Please call me, +82 32 0000 0000, Yoongi." you mumbled the words outloud.
Two gasps came from behind Taehyung and you suddenly realized what that note meant. "Where the hell did you get this?" you said ripping it from Taehyung's hands.
"In the pastry bag." Taehyung said as a matter of fact.
"Yoongi. THE YOONGI?!" Jimin screeched, slapping the ever living hell out of Jungkook's arm in excitement.
"Fuck, I seriously thought he didn't recognize me." you groaned and slapped yourself in the face to make sure this was real life, and unfortunately, it was.
Yoongi was to say the least, the best you ever had; the only you ever had. It happened during your last big game you had. You had won the tournament and had gotten a full exposé in a gaming magazine with the guys. You met Yoongi that whole week they were pulling you in for interviews. He had been with the caterers and special made you coffee every morning complete with cute little drawings on bright yellow post-it notes.
After that week ended, you didn't see him for almost six whole months until you ran into him again on Christmas Eve. The two of you happened to be drinking your sorrows and stress away at a bar and ended up going home together after talking for a few hours.
Yoongi was the most gentle when it came to having sex. You had been nervous and fairly sober by time the act was actually happening, and in your awkward embarassment you had told him it was your first time and he made it as special as one could make it. It wasn't just the way that he made love, but the way he actually took his time and made sure you were comfortable the whole experience.
When the morning came, you had every intentions on staying for a while, but you had overheard him arguing with a woman at his front door and heard things you felt you shouldn't have heard - he had a girlfriend.
In your embarassment you gathered your clothes and slipped out through the patio and climbed over the small fence and did the walk of shame all the way to your apartment in the snow. When you had got home, Taehyung was coming in from his own night out and saw you and immediately went beserk when you told him what happened. It took a few hours to talk him down from going over there and beating Yoongi up for what happened. But even you didn't know the situation fully and didn't want to make accusations.
After that day you had become a recluse at home with your work and since Yoongi didn't have your contact information, neither one of you heard from each other again. Until today.
"Fuck, I can't believe he had the audacity to leave his number like that. Like you would even call him." Taehyung scoffed.
"I think she should call him." Jimin added from behind Taehyung.
"I agree." Jungkook said absently while he looked down at his phone.
You could almost hear the eye roll that Taehyung gave without even looking at him. Jimin and Jungkook weren't completely wrong though, you really should clear everthing up. You had really liked Yoongi and fantasized about him often, especially when you were feeling rather lonely.
Taehyung sighed and handed the post-it not over and left with a quick 'be careful' before he dragged the other two down the hallway with him. Closing your door, you walked over to your bed and sat at the foot of it, debating if you were really going to call him. Deciding to just do it, you dialed his number quickly and hit 'call' and held the phone nervously to your ear.
"Hello?" his lazy voice came through the phone.
"Yoongi? Hey, it's Y/N. I got your note."
A split second of silence was followed by what sounded like a relieved sigh, "Thank you for calling me. I know it's kind of sudden, but I get off work in about an hour, can you meet me?"
"Yeah, sure. Where?" your chest felt tight.
"My apartment. Do you remember where it is?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, awesome. I will see you soon." you could hear the smile in his voice.
You hung up quickly and dropped your phone in your lap and took a deep breath to settle your beating heart. It would take about 50 minutes to get to the other side of town at this time of day so you figured you had better get going.
Slipping on a pair of sneakers and grabbing your coat, you headed to the kitchen to let everyone know you were heading out.
"You're going dressed like that?" Jungkook scrutinized from his chair at the table.
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" you shot back, looking down at your comfortable outfit.
"At least dress up for the dick you're about to get." he snorted.
Not willing to start that argument with him, you threw a banana from the counter at him and left in a huff, leaving behind three cackling men.
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You didn't have to wait long for Yoongi when you arrived at his apartment. By time he showed up his cheeks and nose were bright red from the cold. He had a small smile on his face when he walked over to you to let you into the apartment.
"Thanks for coming on short notice." he said. You watched him pull his warm layers off one by one until he was left in his work uniform.
"Mm." you were unsure of what to say as you stood awkwardly in his living room. He could sense your hesitation of the whole situatioon and took note of you looking around the room as if you were actually looking for something and not just avoiding eye contact.
"So, I wanted to talk about what happened." Wow. Straight to it. "I feel like I did something wrong last time, and it's been killing me because I am unsure of what it was. I thought we got along pretty nicely, but maybe I was wrong?"
"You had a girlfriend." you could be straightforward too.
"I- I'm sorry what?" he choked out.
Taking a deep breath to steel your feelings in case you were about to be let down, you recanted your story of the morning you snuck out of his apartment like some lame criminal. He watched you and listened intently trying to hide a smile, but it didn't go unnoticed.
"Is something funny?" you huffed.
"No. I didn't have a girlfriend. Well, sorry that would be a lie. I did have a girlfriend and that girl that was here, was in fact my girlfriend at one point, but we had been broken up for a while. I'm not sure what kind of guy you take me for but I would never do something like what we did if I was already with someone." he tried to assure you.
"Oh. Well, I feel stupid." feeling your cheeks heat up from embarassment you tried to fix your eyes on anything but Yoongi's face.
"Yes, well, I was too. I had the means to contact you but I was too scared. I thought I had really done something horrible."
You both sat there in silence for a few minutes thinking about how dumb you both were. Yoongi walked slowly over to you, his hand reaching out. “I’m really sorry for what happened. I know it’s not an excuse, but I really didn’t know she would show up like that. She had a rough time since we broke up even though it was a mutual decision.” He tried to explain.
“No, it’s really okay, Yoongi.” You smiled and tried to comfort him, “for the record though I don’t regret what happened. You made it a very special occasion for me.”
Yoongi slipped his hand into yours slowly, and intertwined your fingers, pulling you to him. Letting his other hand trail slowly up your arm, to your neck, then to your cheek while he leaned in and kissed you slowly. The kiss was just as soft as you remembered it from a year ago. Everything about this man was gentle.
Letting your hands settle on his hips, you pushed yourself closer into the kiss; into him. Your heart was already beating eractically in your chest just from a simple kiss. Pushing gently, you felt his legs hit the couch and pushed him down. Taking charge, you straddled his lap while his hands guided your hips to a more comfortable position. Your hands found their way to his perfectly round cheeks and held his face while you fought the urge to devour him right then and there.
You could already feel the bulge pressing into you and you ground down on his hips, pulling a soft moan from him. He pulled back to look up at you and smile, recirpocating the movement of grinding up into you. Sucking in a breath, the two of you continued that little game for several minutes. His hands trailed up inside of your shirt, up your ribcage and further up to pull your hoodie off. His lips went straight to your chest and began planting small kisses over every inch of skin he could find.
Without even realizing it, he had unclasped your bra with one hand and pulled the lacy garment down with his teeth, his mouth immediately finding the soft round bud on your breast and sucking on it.
"Ahh.." you moaned, pushing your chest out just a little farther.
While his mouth worked on one nipple, his hand came up to the other and began to squeeze it gently and roll the sensitive bud between his fingers. You ground your hips down harder on his dick that you could assume was painfully strained in his pants.
Without warning, his hands went behind your knees and he flipped you so you were laying on your back on the couch. In one swift motion he pulled his shirt off over his head and discarded it somewhere behind the couch. Yoongi went directly back to your breasts, licking and sucking.
Allowing your hands to roam on his torso, you felt your way down his muscled chest to the top of his pants. Popping the button open quickly and all but shoving your hand down the waistband of his pants. Your hand found its target. Gripping Yoongi’s dick gently you began to pump him slowly.
“Fuuck..” his voice deep and husky against your skin. Before you knew it, Yoongi’s hands gripped the waistband of your sweats and pulled them down along with your underwear, leaving you completely exposed to him. You let go of him in shock.
His eyes roamed over your body slowly, appreciating what was in front of him. His long fingers gripped into your thighs and spread your legs apart and he quickly ducked down and began licking your pussy. Slow, teasing licks causing your breathing to speed up slightly.
One finger slid inside.
Then a second one.
He put the full attention of his mouth and tongue to your clit while his fingers worked their magic elsewhere. It didn’t take long for that sweet release to build up in the pit of your stomach.
“Ah, Yoongi..I’m-“ his fingers sped up ever so slightly and curled inward, hitting you just right and causing your orgasm to push through you.
“Holy fuck!” You raised your hand to your mouth and covered it while Yoongi continued what he was doing. Your legs were trembling but it felt too good to stop him.
You gazed down at him and caught him staring up at you from between your legs, if you hadn’t just came, you probably would again from that look alone.
Suddenly his fingers were gone from inside of you and inside of his mouth. He moaned and closed his eyes, tasting you on his fingers.
As much as you loved how gentle he was, you couldn’t take it anymore. You leaned up and pushed him back so he was sitting up. You made quick work of removing the rest of his clothing and straddling his lap. You could feel his dick pushing against you and it sent a shudder through your body.
It didn’t take too much adjusting before he was pushing into you. The feeling of his cock inside of your pussy was almost enough to send you over the edge again. Both of you moaned in pleasure, heartbeats picking up.
His hands found their way to your ass and you took that as a sign to go. However, leaving you without a chance to do anything about it, Yoongi began fucking up into you. His hips, slamming into you and the lewd sounds of skin slapping skin began to fill the small living room along with your combined moaning.
“Ah, you feel so fucking good.” Yoongi grunted, his eyes on yours, refusing to look away.
You settled with a nod in response because you knew you couldn’t reply with words. Instead you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close to you and his thrusting got faster and harder.
A quick slap of his hand across your ass brought forth a yelp from your lips, “shit, shit, shit, fuck this feels so good.” You whined in his ear.
It gave him the notion to fuck into you harder, and that feeling began welling up inside of you again. “Yoongi~.” You moaned.
“C’mon baby.” He groaned.
That’s all it took to send another shockwave through your body. Your arms held him tighter to you while he continued to fuck you through your second orgasm. His hips getting sloppier and more desperate, quickly he was brought to his own orgasm.
“God damn.” He grunted through it, his forehead pressed into your shoulder while his hips stilled.
You both relaxed into the couch together, still in your close position, not able to move.
“That was nice.” You muttered.
“More than nice. God, I’ve been thinking about that for a year.” He admitted with a small laugh.
Both of you fell into a comfortable silence, and it wasn’t long before you thought he had fallen asleep. You leaned back to gaze at him and he was staring at you in wonder.
“What are your plans for Christmas Eve?” He asked suddenly.
“Oh, I’m not sure. Why?”
“Would you like to spend it with me?”
You smiled and nodded, “and don’t worry. It won’t be like last Christmas. I won’t disappear.”
He laughed and smiled widely, “Good.”
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#bts#bts au#bts fanfic#bts fic#kim namjoon#min yoongi#kim seokjin#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#i like you a latte au#ilyal#social media au#bts social media au#bts smut
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The Story (Sanders' Sides Human AU)
Ft. Platonic Moxiety, trans Roman, Imaginality (Remus x Patton), and Emciet (Janus x Emile)
Tw: suicide, homophobia, implied abuse, transphobia, f*g said, tra**y said, bullying, anorexia
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Patton stared at his phone. He had a shift at the office in a few minutes, but he couldn't..... He didn't quite know what he couldn't do today, but he couldn't do it. He called in sick. Emile was very understanding. "Take as long as you need, Pat," he said. "Your mental health comes first."
"Thanks, Dr. Picani." He hung up and continued to stare at the message on his phone.
Unknown Number
Got ur number from Jan. How u doing?
It was him. After all these years, it was really him. And, paired with the fact that it was only a week till his brother's birthday.... The last two years of high school came rushing back.
Patton's phone chimed.
Ro's birthday is coming up.
Like Patton didn't compulsively write down the date in his calender every year. June 4. They would have been twenty-six.
I'm moving to ur area 4 work. I finally caught up 2 u.
Patton stared at his phone without really seeing the messages. Tears started to bluer his vision. He wiped them away, only for them to return with a vengeance. Finally, Patton just let himself sob, hoping to get everything out by the time Virgil got home.
***
Virgil waved to his friends as he walked to his front door. His dad's car was in the driveway, which was a surprise. Normally, he wouldn't be back until dinner. He slowly opened the door. "Dad," he asked. Patton gave Virgil a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Hey, kiddo! How was school?"
"Okay. How are you doing? Are you sick?"
"No, no, I'm fine. Just taking a mental health day. Sit down! I made popcorn. We can watch Black Cauldron."
Virgil sighed and sat down, leaning on Patton. Patton put part of his blanket around the teen and pulled him closer. He loved his son more than anything. He would not let Virgil go through the same things he did.
***
Just as Virgil was about to go to sleep, someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he called. Patton opened the door and gave him another fake smile. He sat down on the chair beside Virgil's desk.
"Can I tell you a story," Patton asked.
"I'm a little old for bedtime stories."
"Please? It's kinda boring, but.... I'll be quick. Please?" Virgil stared at his dad. He hated the desperate look in hs eyes. It was getting closer to June, which meant he'd grow quiet and a bit withdrawn. Maybe this was to preemptively make up for it?
"Sure." Virgil laid down and looked up at Patton.
"Thanks, Virge," he said with a slightly more real, relieved smile. "Let me tell you a story about six boys growing up in Florida."
***
Logan Crofters, Roman and Remus Ryan, Janus Pine, Emile Picani, and Patton Hart. They had been best friends since kindergarten. They were all inseparable. Things got worse in middle school when Roman came out as trans. His parents refused to let him transition or cut his hair, and the other kids were less than supportive. Remus let him wear his clothes, though, and his friends all defended him when they could. And they all survived until high school.
Fast foreward to sophmore year. Logan was on the fast track to becoming valedictorian. The other kids, in addition to whispering, "Fag," and, "Tranny," at them all in the halls, taunted Logan for his intelligence. Remus and Janus got into fights often to protect the others. Patton and Emile tried to keep the group's moral up. Logan and Roman always took it all harder than the others, but they had one teacher, Mr. Sanders, who let them eat lunch in his classroom and used Roman's proper pronouns. He even congratulated Patton and Remus when they started dating. He'd always pair up Janus and Emile for group projects, just to watch them flirt.
Patton, Roman, and Remus's parents passed around a petition to get him fired the next year. It was successful. That was the year everything fell apart.
Roman and Logan couldn't handle the pressure that came with the grades and the bullying. They always said they were fine, but....
One day, Logan quit his job at the library. Said it just wasn't worth it anymore. Roman stopped eating and always brushed his friends off when they begged him to try.
They died the same night. June 4, Roman's birthday. Roman overdosed on antidepressants. Janus, Remus, Emile, and Patton read his note over and over again.
Dear Friends,
I want to start by saying this isn't your fault. Remus, you were the most amazing, supportive brother anyone could ask for. Patton, Janus, Emile, Logan, you are all wonderful and perfect, and you all deserve the world. But.... I can't do this anymore. I can't live in this body one more day or hear someone call me Rachel one more time. I just can't do it. I love you all so much. Please don't dwell on this for too long. I want you all to be happy, okay?
Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't be everything you wanted me to be. I wish I could have been as good a son as Remus was. I wish you could have loved me as much as he did.
And, Mr. Sanders, if you ever see this.... Thank you. For everything.
Adeiu, best of friends and best of men,
Roman
Logan hung himself. He didn't leave a note. His parents at least gave him a funeral. Roman's parents didn't care enough to even do that.
Luckily, Remus, Janus, Emile, and Patton had saved enough from their various jobs to have him cremated. Emile's parents insisted on helping out, which helped a lot.
The group burried Roman's urn just outside the cemetery where Logan rested. Luckily, his grave was at the edge of the gate so Roman's could be near his. Remus painted a large rock to use as a marker. They all stood by the small grave, Janus holding Emile and Patton and Remus squeezing each other's hands, until the sun rose.
Patton stayed with Remus after Janus and Emile left.
"I can't stay here anymore," Remus had whispered. "I can't stay with the people who killed my brother."
"I know," Patton whispered. "I hate our parents." He brushed back his bangs to show Remus a black eye and a bruised cheek. "If we save enough, we'll run away together," he promised. "We'll get Janus and Emile, and we'll all go to Massachusetts, and we'll get married." Remus nodded.
"I like that." He gently pulled Patton close, and they shared a long, sweet kiss.
Things didn't work out. Senior year was worse. Janus, Emile, Patton, and Remus were the gays who were friends with the two who killed themselves, and that's all anyone ever treated them as. Janus's parents took him and moved to Delaware. He and Emile stayed in touch for a few months before the lost contact. Janus and Patton still talked occasionally, though, even after high school. Emile, Patton, and Remus stuck together, but things would never be the same.
When senior year ended, Patton and Emile prepared to move to Massachusetts, but Remus wouldn't go.
"Please," Patton begged. "We found a cute apartment in Salem. We can start over. We can get jobs while Emile is at school. We can build our own lives. Please come with us." Remus shook his head.
"I can't," he said. "It's only been a year since they died. I just can't leave them yet." Patton hugged him tightly.
"Keep in touch," he asked. Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips.
Over the next few years, Patton kept in touch with Remus. Every year, he said he would finally move in with him, and every year, he had an excuse not to. Eventually, they stopped talking as much, and when Patton changed his number, he forgot to tell Remus.
***
"He and Emile stayed together, though," Patton finished. "Patton became Emile's receptionist when he started practicing independently."
"What about Janus and Remus," Virgil asked.
"Janus is still in Delaware, and I guess Remus is with him." Virgil nodded. He wasn't an idiot. He knew Patton had just told him his life story. He just wasn't going to press any further than that. Maybe someday, Patton would tell him more, but it was almost the day his friends killed themselves. Patton needed time.
***
The next day, Patton went back to work. Larry and Dot were happy to see him. When their appointment was almost over, another patient entered the waiting room and walked up to Patton's desk. "Hey," he said, head tilted down. His voice was low and familiar.
"Hi! Do you have an appointment?"
"N-no. I just moved here and was hoping I could set one up."
"Okay.... Dr. Picani is with a patient right now, but-- Remus?" Remus was staring at Patton, a sad frown accepting his dull eyes. "L-like I was saying, Emile--"
"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Patton began to fiddle with a pen. "You could have just said you didn't want to see me. I get it. I probably remind you of Ro and Logan, and that's fine. I failed you and I put off moving even though I said I would, and I understand that you're mad, and it's okay. But--"
"I wanted to see you." Remus stared at Patton, who stared right back.
"What?"
"I wanted to see you, but I couldn't say it. It's just so close to Roman's birthday, and I didn't know what to do or what to tell my son--"
"You have a son?" Patton nodded, tears in his eyes.
"I adopted him five years ago. His name is Virgil. He's funny, he's dark, and strange and sarcastic, and I love him more than anything."
"Boyfriend or husband?"
"Single dad and rockin' it." Remus laughed despite the tears that were escaping his eyes. Patton laughed with him, also crying. "I'm sorry. For everything," he sobbed. Remus took his hand.
"Me too." And that's how Larry and Dot found them five minutes later.
Holding hands and crying, together again.
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#roman sanders#sanders sides#human au#remus sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#emile picani#janus sanders#virgil sanders#emciet#janus x emile#imaginality#patton x remus#platonic moxiety#tw suicude#angst
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Until We Meet Again Ep. 7 Review
#untilwemeetagain #untilwemeetagainep7 #untilwemeetagaintheseries #untilwemeetagainreview #uwma #uwmaep7 #uwmatheseries #uwmareview
In was slapped by his father. Yes, here is the same, a guy dating other guy will make people think that the guy is pussy. It was Thai opinion back then, even recently there are some people who think the same too, but in my country it still the same. Problematic topic. I don't dare to think, I can't even imagine if my parents found out about me whom like guy too. It just a strict matter to talk about. May be I will get more than a slap. Lol.
Secret promise at the front of everyone. Intense. I would ask them in detail if I were there. Actually they said it at the same time. It must be not about taking Pharm home.
P'Dean.... talking about grandma and grandchildren doesn't mean want to have a child. Later may be but not recently and few years later. Or you asking him because you want to have..... Forget it. Suddenly they just act cute for care each other. Hmmm Yes you can have more than thank you because you guys are official now so do whatever you want. First forhead kiss is enough to make you blush Ai Pharm. Lol. Can't believe that you guys now together right? Dean sees In's reflection on Pharm. Could it be the real In and Korn will posses them later? YOUR FIRST MOVE AI PHARM, NICE KISS. Go back safely and have a good night P'Dean.
You promised to have a sour curry with your aunt, In, now you already full. How about the curry? Hmm. No you can't stay longer. Hurry back home both of you. They moved together already with those worriness from their father? I can't imagine if they know it.
Korn bring a birthday cake, why am I feel touched? Lol. Birthday wish is better not to be spoken, In. And here In's father COME!! OH MY GOD, NO KHUN PHO DON'T SLAP HIM MORE.... They run away and Korn's father know it too? Not good.
It was a heavy dream na Pharm. So, you still don't know their name? I see. Once you know their name and tell Dean, then both of you will shock by the same memories. I guess it will happen like this.
He even make a Tom Yum to be shared with his neighbor. Your kindness is everywhere, Pharm. This senior architect is kind of handsome too. Lol. Heuii, you famous already Ai Pharm, even the juniors knew. His fotos are all over university. Wow... Such an idol (say it with Thai dialect, cute 😆). Now you meet the brother in law. Haha. "You guys want to know it, right?" Don, he absolutely will call his bro to come to proof it. Oh not like that, he taking pict with Pharm to send it to his bro-sis group chat. Yes, no clue. You should call P'Dean directly Ai Don. Heuiii P'Dean came with P'Sorn. Yes, absolutely confirmed. HAH!!! SIN IS SORN'S BOYFRIEND? (my face as shock as Pharm) unpredictable. You guys, who is the hubby and the wify? Don't tell me that Don's friends also gay? A room full of gays. WTF..... DO WHATEVER AND SIN WILL TURN ON THE MUSIC, supportive friends goal. Don... such a mood breaker. Will you guys do it today? Wan ni?
Why is Pharm the one who turn on the music? Do you want to do it? Pharm? Owhhh, music to cover the rain. Cold isn't it? Good atmosphere to warm the body. Euuu, hold each other hands is okay too. Cry again ai Pharm?
You have a big umbrella, why you should use the small one for both. Logic.
Pharm tells his dream to Dean. Please talk about it. You may have clues about the red thread you both have. Yess, Korn and Intouch, both of you finally meet to be happy. My god, their promise come true to find each other. It should be the end of the drama but there are 5 episodes more. Where will the story lead us? I'm shocked, suddenly Dean hold Pharm's hand when it touch his lips. Lovebird want to walk out but it is wet. Wanna make yourself wet (?) keep teasing... You will end up on the bed. See, start hushing like that, what's it for? Haha. DOG TAG?? A DOG TAG?? TO BE TOOK CARE? okay, I thought he is a dog that tagged by Dean's name. Lol. Sorry... How important is it and why, Dean? I want to know since you keep it for 10 years. Yes, wear it as a necklace little puppy. Hahaha. Heuiiii, Pharm why are you giving your room key? You want him to come and have a sudden back hug? Okay, up to you.
This Alex is never give up. Oihhh, Team, you hit the point. Yes, he has a boyfriend! See, the one you were talking come. "I don't like anyone to flirt with my boyfriend" Defending boyfriend. Supportive sister in law. Yess, go away, no one want you to be here. Now clarified, everyone know and agree. Yay, smile...
Why is pharm sitting in the dark room? Owww, he reading the group chat about his official relationship. Lol... He become more famous now to be with the most famous man in the univ. They are talking about Pharm and he is in the group, no one give him a question with his name tagged directly to confirm? Manaow and Del are the admin. So scary.... Yes, Sunday is perfect for tutoring with the hole family. Yay.... Finally will spend time at hubby's home.
Everyone will come on Sunday, the more the merrier. Hahaha. Team's fav snack is Lays, those pouts, ADORABLE!!!!
Why Win isn't home yet? You can do tutoring? Seriously? WHAT THE... FORHEAD KISS ON PUBLIC 7-11. I'M JEALOUSSSSSSSSS NOW THEY HAVE A MOMENT. MY TEAM.... 😥 what do you mean? Kiss for a tutoring charge. My team.... I must let you go. He is so cute...
What case is it? What is happening? Who is on the phone? Why it must be P'Sin? Okay, his dad is a policemen. Wait... What? Why they suddenly bring up In Korn's case now? WHO IS ON THE PHONE?
ALIN?! Is she the same Alin? In's cousin. Seriously? She is part of Dean family? You dare give me 2 open ending in this episode. My God...
See you on episode 8, then.... No, I'm curious. But I should wait.
#untilwemeteagain#untilwemeetagaintheseries#untilwemeetagainep7#untilwemeetagainreview#uwma#uwmatheseries#uwmaep7#uwmareview#dean#pharm#DeanPharm#winteam
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100 Reasons.
This is my first attempt at a Carol x Fem Reader imagine 😅
"I know she has to go off and save the universe and all, but we're in a relationship for God's sake." You stress, Natasha's green eyes washed over with concern as she studies you intently, making a mental note to remove the alcoholic beverage from your hand. "I respect her job but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
The Black Widow's eyes soften and she uses the gap to remove the glass bottle from your hand and set it down on the floor. "I'm sorry Y/N."
"I get I'm being selfish but am I not allowed to? Just like all those other people have issues, so do I, and I sometimes I just want to lay in her arms and tell her about my day or just sit in silence because I enjoy her presence you know?" you glance over at Natasha, noticing the smirk on her face. "What?" You ask, suddenly self conscious. You weren't one to complain but you'd fallen down the pit and just realized.
"Nothing. That was just really... Gay."
You chuckle and push her head away. "Shut up."
Natasha's giggles cease as she looks you over with concerned eyes. "Hey." she makes eye contact, gaining your full attention. "Talk to Carol about it."
"To do what? We're just going to talk and then she's going to go off and save the universe again."
"Maybe." Natasha shrugs. "But at least she'll know how you feel and be more considerate." the red head shrugged before moving her eyes back to the television set.
-
The following day, you danced on the balls of your feet as you stood a few feet behind Tony Stark. You couldn't lie and say you weren't excited about Carol coming home, but you'd decided that you were going to talk to her about your feelings, and truth be told, you were scared of how the message would be brought across considering your emotional state. You wanted her to know, but you didn't want to add to her load or come across as too aggressive.
"I can feel the excitement from here Y/L/N." Tony speaks up and you breathe out a chuckle.
"It's not everyday the love of my life returns from space." you shrug before looking upwards, awaiting Carol's arrival. Estimated one minute.
She lived at the compound, but spent most of the time at your place. She'd tried landing there once, but due to the excitement from getting to see you, almost destroyed your residence. So she stuck to landing at the compound. But you didn't mind going all the way over there, it was like picking her up from the airport.
"Yeah yeah, sap." Tony brings you closer by your shoulders just as the two of you catch the light entering the atmosphere. It becomes bigger and brighter and before you know it, a glowing Carol lands in a standing position a few feet away from you with a bright smile on her face.
Tony releases you and offers Carol a smile before bringing her in for a small hug. "Welcome home Danvers."
"Yeah yeah don't get all mushy on me now Stark." Carol rolls her eyes but accepts Tony's hug, letting out a peaceful sigh.
"Nope. Leaving all that for her." He nods his head towards you before leaving, muttering something to Friday.
Your eyes lock with her brown ones and her grin grows impossibly bigger. She launches towards you and pulls you into a tight hug, so strong it lifts you off the ground. You hug her back with the same intensity, drinking her in. Her scent, her feeling. You bring your hand up to her hair and exhale deeply, the moment you've been waiting for finally having arrived.
She pulls back and sets you back on the ground before giving you an award winning smile, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear. "Hey baby. Miss me?"
-
You sat on Carol's bed, unsure of how to start the conversation, so you picked at the burnt threads of her duvet, waiting for her to come out of the shower.
She finally emerged, rid of all her intergalactic germs with wet hair. She offered you a smile and fell down onto the bed in front of you with a groan. "I could so do with some sleep right now." she muttered into the comforter before pulling her wet hair into a bun.
You forced a smile as she laid across your stomach and closed her eyes. You cherished these moments - the ones where you could hold her close, or even were just together, but the fact that she couldn't spend time with you because she was tired from her mission reignited the fire you had shared with Natasha last night. You tried to convince yourself it wasn't that big of a deal and that you'd have the next few days to spend with the vibrant blonde, but that was just it - what until another mission came up.
"So how was the mission?" you prompted yourself to ask as you thread your fingers through her clean hair.
"Easy." your skin erupted in goosebumps as she spoke against your stomach. "Didn't take as long as I thought it would but on the way back, I came across a planet in crisis so I had to stop there."
"That was... Nice of you." your voice betrayed you and Carol noticed immediately, lifting her head with a deep frown.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, no yeah. I'm fine." you try, but Carol knows better.
"Y/N." She warns and you give in.
"I miss you."
Her gaze softens. "I miss you too baby. But we're together now."
"No." your eyes avoid her confused ones as you try to keep your voice calm. "I miss you all the time Carol."
"Baby?"
You sigh and try to formulate your thoughts in a way to not offend her. She did just return from a mission and was tired but dammit you had feelings too.
"I know you have to save the world and everything and be a superhero but you do kind of have commitments here..." You begin, trying to steer her thoughts in the same direction as yours, but her brows furrow further. "Carol I'm your girlfriend and we're in a relationship... Yet every month you're off on some new planet and I'm here all alone. I get relationships aren't only about being physically affectionate but..."
"I thought you understood." She mumbles, finally catching on. "That I have extra responsibility. You said you were fine with that." she reminds you and you nod.
"I remember." you can't make heads or tails of her expression. "But like I said, I miss you."
"I miss you too, I miss you so much all the time but I do have a job to do." Carol sighs. She was really tired. You could see that and you could also feel the tension beginning to thicken.
"I know you have a job to do." you huff frustrated that the conversation was going in circles.
"So what do you suggest? That I stop?" she asks in disbelief and you close your eyes momentarily, trying to calm yourself.
"No. I'm just asking for a little more time with you every month. I see you for like five days a month." you feel the tears beginning to pool in the corners of your eyes and watch as Carol nods slowly.
"So you want me to abandon all those people who need help and homes just so you can cuddle and make out a little more?" she scoffs and you swallow hard. This is what you wanted to avoid.
"No." your voice starts to betray you, as does your vision. "But you can't act as though the universe is your responsibility alone. You can't fix the whole universe by yourself Carol."
"I can try." she grits out through her teeth before getting up from the bed and straightening her back out. "You know you were all I could think about on the mission. I just wanted to come home and be with you and relax. But you're building barriers."
"No." you shake your head at the blonde as you mirror her position. "You laid the foundation. It's fine for you to be upset about this, I get that I kind of ruined your expectations. But you can't expect me not to have feelings either." you add before grabbing your keys.
"Where are you going?" she asks, watching you with mild concern.
"I'm going home Carol. So you can rest before your next mission." you nod at her, feeling like it was the right thing to do, before bidding her farewell. "Good luck."
-
It had been a few days since you'd spoken to Carol, over a week. She wasn't one to apologize, being the hard headed one in the relationship, but you weren't going to apologize either, dismissing your suppressed feelings once again.
Your finger hovered over her contact details before your thumb scrolled downwards and you clicked on Natasha's contact. You put the phone to your ear and waited. After three rings, the assassin's sultry voice filled your ears. "I was just about to call. Movie night?"
"Movie night." you confirm.
_
"I'm glad you spoke to her about your feelings." Natasha voices her opinion, the movie long forgotten as she notices your blank expression most of the time. "Even if it did cause a rift, she needed to know."
"I thought you were Team Cap." you joke and she chuckles.
"I am. But I'm team Y/N too." she smiles at you sweetly.
"Thats good to know." you return her smile before sighing. "How is she though?" you were burning to know.
"Quiet." Natasha sighs. "Closed off. But she went back out this afternoon, maybe she'll have a revelation."
"I doubt. But thanks." you force a smile as you grow sad. Carol left without saying goodbye. She'd always say goodbye. No matter the situation.
-
You dropped your keys into the bowl as soon as you locked the door and immediately picked up the door stop. Something didn't feel right.
Not that the doorstop would do anything but it was the closest weapon you had. You held the stop in one hand and used your other to feel for the light switch. As soon as you hit it, light filled the room and your eyes grew wide at your living room being covered in sticky notes.
You put down the doorstop as soon as you noticed Carol's sloppy handwriting and picked a note off of the couch.
31. Your smile.
You frowned in confusion and picked one up off the tv.
52. The way you watch movies with me even though you've seen them a long time ago.
You move into the dining room and pick a blue note off the table.
78. You look amazing wearing my clothes.
You move to go into the kitchen, but there's a note over the light switch. You pick it up and read it.
92. You always let me win in video games I don't understand.
You smile at the memories, still not understanding the context of the situation but when you finally put the light on, you see your kitchen littered with sticky notes. All over the cupboards and fridge. You notice a huge one on the fridge.
A Hundred Reasons Why I Love You.
You smile broadens as you pick up the note directly underneath it.
67. You make me a better person.
You glance down at your hand and place all the collected notes on the counter top before hearing a noise from deeper in the apartment. You immediately pick up the pan and raise it to defend yourself, but lower it when you see Carol's glowing form.
"Easy there." she smirks, coming closer as you set the pan back down. "So I only wrote out one hundred, but there are far more in my head."
"Oh yeah?" relief washes over you as you feel a normal setting descend upon the room. "Like what?"
"Like how you take such good care of me when I come home. You always make sure I'm fed, clean and comfortable even if you have work the next morning." she inches closer. "How you never make fun of me for not understanding modern references like the others and instead explain it to me." she stops glowing and your breath hitches as she looks into your eyes.
"How you aways manage to make any place we're in feel like home." she continues, stopping just short in front of you. "How you suppress your feelings to consider mine." she digs into her jeans pocket to hand you a sticky note.
You take it, not missing the heat from her hands she claimed only happened when you were around. Your eyes watered as you read the note with your eyes.
100. Because you always wait for me.
"Nobody has ever invested this much into me." she admits, bringing a hand up to scratch at her head, her nerves beginning to show. "Nobody has ever spent this much time with me or loved me or cared for me like you do. It was a luxury at first and then I began to take advantage." she looks down at her shoes in disappointment.
Your heart ached. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid. You didn't want to make her feel bad.
"Carol-"
"-And I'm sorry. You're right. We are in a relationship. I love you." she brings her eyes back to yours, causing the thundering in her chest to intensify. "I'm sorry I've been such a dick. And I can understand if you want to break it off with me because no person deserves to be treated like this."
You smile at her before taking the step forward, diminishing the space as you brace your hands on her shoulders. On instinct, she places her hands on your hips. You raise your hands and rest them on her face, moving it slightly to get a good view of her watering eyes. "Hey." you brush a thumb over her cheek. "You're stuck with me." you say in a serious tone.
"Carol I love you so much. I love you enough to wait for you like an idiot at every month." you inform her. "I didn't tell you because I want to end the relationship or cause a fight. I told you because I love you and I miss you and I want to spend more time with you. That's it. But this gesture? Really sweet."
"Right? Took me some time. But I really enjoyed making them." she admits before sighing. "I'm sorry. I promise to take you into consideration more."
"Thank you. Apology accepted." you smile before leaning in and giving her a soft kiss. When you lean back, you see her eyes are still closed with a small smile playing on her lips. "Idiot." you mumble before giving her another kiss. "I thought you had a mission by the way." you frown.
"I did." she says nonchalantly before bringing you in for a proper kiss. "Mission accomplished."
#carol danvers#Carol x reader#Carol/Reader#MCU#FxF#CAPTAIN MARVEL#Captain Marvel x Reader#Captain Marvel/Reader
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Hey man, I just want to say you're an awesome writer. I love your stories and the series' you do. I can't wait for the next one to start. Do you happen to have any good writing tips? I myself want to write more but it's such a struggle sometimes.
ljsfhsdfalfhafldhfklslsdhfs anon this was so sweet, thank you!! I’m just as excited as you guys, I love ya’ll’s reactions and feedback; i thrive off it, it gives me the motivation to write even more. I’m so giddy for 4/13. As for writing tips, yes! I do have some that are pretty useful for myself. I can’t speak for every writer, of course, but hopefully they’ll give you some place to start:
A protagonist has to have more going for them than just a tragic backstory, handsome looks, or power. All of those are fine, of course, but they need more than that. They need hobbies, interests, little ticks that make them whole. Otherwise they’re simply a shell for the reader to see the world through, like the character a player controls in a video game. They’ll feel less genuine, and all the moments you want to hit hard won’t hit right.
Don’t be afraid of starting sentences with ‘And’ or ‘But’. Fuck whatever Oxford says, if you can make it work, then do it!
Don’t underestimate the classic “And everything went black.” at the end of a chapter. Makes me go buck wild every time, and I bet plenty of other readers will agree.
Side characters need something going for them, too! They need their own stories within the story. Even simply mentioning that X has a brother will make them seem more rounded out, because then they have a connection to that world besides themselves.
Use as many drafts as you need. You know how many drafts my stuff goes through before I publish? A minimum of six. Never compare your first draft to a published work. That could be someone’s 1,000th draft!
Diversity is crucial. LGBT, POC, nerodivergent, age differences, religious differences, handicapped- all of these are critical in making your story more whole. And mix them up, too! Mush them together, because no one is one thing. Make a 90-year old, autistic, gay, black, nonbinary person! If it sounds like too much I promise it’s not! Anyone with even 2 of those features will feel represented and seen!
Make sure your villains know where they stand, and know where they draw the line. They’ll kill the protagonist by any means, but they won’t kick an abandoned puppy; stuff like that. Even a relentless murderer needs some kind of limit. Something that can make them falter. Not like a weakness- which, yes, they need those, too- but something that’ll show they have standards, or a code they stick to.
It’s okay if your world is incomplete when you start writing, or you don’t know how it will end. That’s perfectly okay, wonderful, in fact! Just start writing, and it’ll come to you eventually.
Don’t be afraid to step away if you get stuck. Snack and bathroom breaks, a jog around the block, all that. I know others will say to muscle through it, but sometimes you’ve gotta step away. To quote my 5th grade english teacher, “Don’t be a bird against a window.” A bird will throw itself at a window again and again, and wonder why it can’t go further. If you’re banging your head against the desk wondering why you can’t get your story to progress, walk away! Leave it for a day or two, if you need to!
Never underestimate music. I have a playlist I have perfectly tailored to the mood and energy of my writing. I’ve got a list for action scenes, romance scenes, serious moments- music can give you a jump and get you going, inspire you at just the right moment.
Write every day. This can be hard, but try. Even a sentence, even something that isn’t your main project. Write a quote you like in the notes on your phone. Anything little helps.
On that note, have more than one project going at a time! Currently, I myself have my book series, this blog, and 2-3 fanfictions I’m working on. If you don’t have the drive for one on a given day, maybe you’ve got the inspiration for another. Then look at that, you’re still writing, even if it’s not your main project!
Get people involved!! I can’t stress how important this one was to me, personally. I understand not wanting to spoil your story, but hey, the final draft is what they’ll read, not the work in progress. Whatever you tell them might not even get used, or will end up drastically changed. I’d ramble to my friends for forever and inspire myself in the middle of a sentence. They didn’t even have to listen, I just needed to talk it out with myself.
Don’t be afraid to skip parts. Let’s be real, transition scenes are a bitch. They are my personal demon. So write the first scene, skip the transition, and write the next important block. Go back later, and by then you’ll probably have some idea of how to connect them.
Google everything. Half my google history is “synonyms for ___”. If you make up a word, google it too, just in case! It could be something horrifically offensive in another language. Or it could be gobbledygook! In that same vein, baby name sites are your best friend.
Make sure every character has something that drives them. Some inspiration or aspiration they hope to achieve! Yes, even the characters you plan to kill off. Again, it makes the world that much richer. Even if it’s something simple like a teacher, who teaches because they just “love to teach”. And once it’s said, prove it! Show the teacher praising their students, or getting excited when their students understand!
Love interests are not vital. Trust me. The protagonist doesn’t need a lover to seem whole. If they do, that’s not a good protagonist. Try again.
Details, and lack there of. Be as specific as can be with physical objects and overpowering emotions. Synonym after simile after metaphor, pile them on! But when it comes to action, hold back! You don’t have to specify the way the character moves every joint. Leave a little to the imagination, and the reader will fill in the gaps.
Symbolism, intentional or not, is powerful as all hell. If it is intentional, though, don’t lay it on too thick. Same goes for foreshadowing, because then your reader might get bored because whoops, you just spelled out the ending before you even got there.
Tropes are your friend. There’s a reason they’re used so much: Because they work! Don’t overload the story, of course, but if you want to use it, and it fits that particular scene, then by god do it. No one can stop you.
Above all, your story is your own. There is no one else in the world who can tell it the way you can. Even if they’ve read it a thousand times, it’s not the same, I promise. They have it memorized? They’ve seen work like it? IT’S NOT THE SAME. You’re the only one who can tell it, so by all means, do so.
Wow okay that got long, but I think that’s most of ‘em! I hope they help, and good luck with your story!
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Can't Forget You
Most recent fic commission from ticklishivories (twitter)! Do commission Kathy if you have a chance (:
Dorian Pavus x Vaxus Trevelyan | Modern AU | (2387 words) | AO3
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Vaxus stares out the window with a dent in his brow and confusion souring his smile. The back of his head throbs where sutures were left in his scalp and he wants to scratch the itch underneath the bandage strapped to his temple and shoulder, but otherwise, he’s fine. Just frustrated.
“I’m sorry I had to do that,” Dorian says again, “but they wouldn’t have let me pick you up otherwise.”
“It’s alright,” Vax says quietly. He doesn’t know why he’s so upset that Dorian had to lie. It makes sense; roommate that happens to be best friend isn’t a sufficient title to be let in on a traumatic accident. There’s a lot of things that add up– no one else could pick him up, his sister is out of town, so unless he wanted to spend another night in the hospital Dorian had no choice but to lie. And yet something about it leaves Vax with an off taste.
“You’re being unusually silent.” Dorian looks over his shoulder before he makes a right turn. Vax’s gaze lingers a little too long on the muscles in his forearm. “The surgeon said your memories would most likely return. There’s no need to be worried.”
Vax knows that something is off about this; he feels that he should be comforting Dorian, not the other way around.
A ring goes off, shrill and buzzing. Vax jumps a bit– Dorian reaches into the center console and pulls out a phone.
“Hello, Val.”
Val.
“Oh!” Vax reaches for the phone, and Dorian leans away. “Let me talk to her.”
“Keep calm, Vaxus! You still have a concussion.” He sighs, rolling his eyes. “Yes, that was him. Clearly a collision with a speeding delivery truck wasn’t enough to knock his zest out.”
Vaxus sits back and folds his arms across his chest.
“He’s pouting now. No, there was no trouble. They accepted the lie rather easily, actually.” Dorian goes quiet, then clears his throat. “Well, that’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it. Anyways, I think he’ll be fine to use technology after he rests. I’ll make sure he calls you first thing in the morning.” He smiles. “It’s my pleasure. Please, don’t thank me. Your brother…he’s worth it.”
Vaxus peers over at him, the ache in his chest drawing him away from the ache in his head for a moment. It’s deep and familiar, as if it’s grown roots in his body.
He remembers things fleetingly; he remembers driving away, and being upset. What about? Maybe something to do with the man sitting next to him, whose strong profile makes him stomach flip, whose small, sad smile makes his heart twist painfully. It’s not true, they’re not boyfriends. Not only that, it was a clever lie and made things easier for everyone.
But why does it hurt so badly?
Dorian leads the way to their apartment, even going so far as to open the door for him. Vaxus shoves his hands into the pockets, watching Dorian turn on the lights and set his hospital bag and medicines down on the kitchen table. Something about the action of Dorian removing his coat makes Vaxus’ eyes linger longer than they should his shoulders, so he pulls his gaze away to walk towards the end of the hall where he assumes his room is.
“Vaxus? You’re heading into my room!”
Vaxus feels like he’s hanging off the edge of a merry-go-round.
“I’m gonna puke,” he says, sure that Dorian can’t hear him from across the apartment, but in the time that he blinks Dorian is there, miraculously materialized, his warm hand on his back as he guides him to the bathroom.
“You just need some rest,” Dorian says softly, soothing Vaxus’ anxious chills. “Right as rain by the morrow.”
“God, your words.”
“Hm?” Insecurity creeps into Dorian’s voice. “What about them? I know I can sound a bit pretentious sometimes but I truly don’t intend it, you know how it is at my job working around such arrogant–”
“No, no. I like them.”
“My coworkers?”
“No, your words.” Vaxus waves his hand in the air flippantly. “Your elegance is charming. And your shyness about it is cute.”
“O-Oh. Well…”
But Dorian has no quip for that, even though Vaxus waits for it, standing slumped in the dark hallway with his hand on his back while trying to breathe deeply and evenly. He has a feeling that what he said was daring, overstepping some sort of unspoken boundary, but he doesn’t care anymore. Whatever stupid justification he made for himself to not flirt with Dorian was completely wrecked with the rest of him in the car accident.
And why the hell wouldn’t he flirt with this man? This sexy, easily embarrassed man who he’s lucky enough to have as a roommate and best friend?
Dorian carefully removes his hand. He stands straight and backs away, pointing towards the restroom. “The washroom is here, incase you’d forgotten that.”
Vaxus stares at him, dead-eyed.
“Right. Holler if you need anything. I’ll be…cooking. Something.”
“Cooking what?”
“Like it matters! People who’ve been in car accidents shouldn’t be sassing so much!”
He stomps off, and Vaxus can’t help but laugh, even if his head pounds.
Vaxus sleeps until late in the afternoon the next day. When he wakes, a glass of water with a slice of lemon is waiting for him on his nightstand. He gulps it down greedily, wipes at his mouth, and pushes himself out of the bed.
He needs a shower, urgently.
The hot water soothes his head. He touches his bandages and realizes they’ve been replaced; he peels them off, wondering if he asks sweetly if Dorian would replace them while he’s awake.
The thought of Dorian’s hands on his head makes the little blood he has left shoot straight down. He groans, not having the energy to take care of it this time.
…This time?
A fragment slides into place– of many other showers, and many other times he’s told himself he can’t, shouldn’t, touch himself after thinking of Dorian.
And all the times he did anyway, unable to look at Dorian afterwards.
This is wrong. Dorian is gay, his best friend, and Vaxus is–
Very obviously into him.
But he’s basically lied to Dorian about himself. How many times has he had to tell some story about a girl he’s met at a made up bar, just to cover up all the hours he’s spent thinking about taking Dorian out for a drink?
This is stupid. If he gets into another accident, he won’t have the chance to tell his best friend what he really thinks.
“Dammit,” he curses under his breath, and wonders how long he can stand under the spray before he turns into a giant prune. Vaxus shakes his head until everything inside it is thoroughly rattled, then soaps and rinses himself off.
Dorian is sitting on the couch reading when Vaxus emerges. When he looks up from his book, Vaxus has the pleasure of seeing a blush rise like a thermometer from his neck to his ears and all the way to the top of his head.
Probably because the only thing maintaining his modesty is the towel clinging to his waist, but who knows?
“Hey,” Vaxus says, unable to stop his smirk from growing. Dorian nods, visibly having to pull his eyes away from his wet abs and down to his book. Vax approaches him. “What are you reading?”
“Just…a romance.” Dorian clears his throat. “Quite silly, but fun.”
It’s strange that he doesn’t elaborate more; Dorian’s always loved gushing about new reading material. Vaxus decides to change the topic. “Um,” he continues, his heart beat quickening. “We need to talk about something.”
“Hm?” Dorian doesn’t look away from his book. But his voice is higher pitched than usual, as if it were gliding atop a thinly frozen lake. “And what would that be?”
Vaxus lets out a long breath. He braces himself. “Uh, I don’t remember much. Surrounding the accident.”
Dorian goes still.
“But I remember that I’ve been avoiding you.”
He approaches the couch, sitting down slowly enough that Dorian has no choice but to look at him. Vaxus touches his knee, and Dorian’s eyes lock on it.
“I haven’t been honest about something.”
“No,” Dorian whispers. “No,” louder. “I don’t think you’re in the correct state of mind.”
“I think the accident finally shook something straight inside my head.” Vaxus laughs at the accidental pun, but he can tell Dorian doesn’t find it funny at all. He’s leaning away, sinking back against the couch. Vaxus’ hand slides an inch up his thigh– barely any movement, but enormously significant. His heart thunders in his chest. “Dorian…”
“Wait, hold on a moment–”
“I was so disappointed when I found out we weren’t an item,” he continues, “and I had no idea why, but I do now.”
“Vax…”
“I really feel like this was meant to happen. Even though it was a lie, those few moments where I believed we were together…felt right.”
Dorian is staring at him, wide-eyed, backing away. Vax’s heart sinks. It hits him what he’s doing; pushing his best friend down with his barely clothed body, literally trapping him against the couch. He retracts his hand, standing up as his cheeks flood with heat.
“S…Sorry.” His hand won’t stop tingling, so he pushes it through his wet hair. “I’ll put some clothes on.”
“Vaxus,” Dorian sighs. More than tired, he sounds…sad. Vaxus’ heart cracks as he looks at him. “Maybe you should rest some more. What you went through was traumatic. You wouldn’t…” He shakes his head slowly, as if resigned. “You wouldn’t be saying these things if you knew everything.”
There are gaps in Vaxus’ memories. He doesn’t know what lead to the accident, or anything before Dorian picked him up from the hospital, but he does know that whatever stupid reason he was keeping his secret from Dorian never mattered to begin with.
A tension lingers in the air throughout the day and into the evening. It’s familiar in a way that makes Vaxus feel cold all over, like a premonition. He changes his own bandages in the bathroom, hissing as he reveals the blackened stitches and bruises along his shoulders and arms. His eyes are red.
He remembers something– Dorian’s red eyes, withholding tears, as he told Vaxus that he couldn’t live with him anymore.
“Oh,” Vax says aloud. He clutches his chest as a wave of nausea rolls through him.
His head pounds. Memories flood into him and he gasps as if drowning.
The yelling. The tears. The begging– who’s begging?
Stay. Don’t go.
Dorian wanted to leave. He said he couldn’t take it anymore, but never said why. Vaxus had needled him to the point of shouting, until–
He left the apartment–
He’d been so hurt, so distracted–
And then the accident.
“Dammit,” he curses, holding his head as he leans over the sink.
“Vax?” Dorian’s voice comes through the other side of the bathroom door. “Everything all right in there?”
Vaxus takes a deep breath.
“Yes,” he says. “I’m fine.”
“The phrase ‘I’m fine’ has never been uttered in total honesty in history, Vaxus.”
Actually, fine is an understatement; he hasn’t felt better than he’s felt in days. Maybe even weeks. “My stitches hurt, is all.”
Dorian tsks, then opens the door, surprising Vaxus. He’s in his night clothes, smelling of mint, and Vaxus’ heart skips a beat.
“Let me see.”
Dorian takes up the bandages from the counter and grabs Vaxus’ arm, directing him to sit on the toilet as he takes his head in his hands and inspects the stitches. Vaxus feels himself flushing and keeps his eyes down, painfully aware that he’s shirtless.
Dorian’s hands are warm and gentle. He delicately dabs a soaked cotton ball onto the wounds, his fingers sifting through his waves of hair and pushing the strands away. His eyes are focused, lips pursed in concentration, and Vaxus has a desperate need to kiss him.
He’s in too deep. Can’t turn back.
Can’t lie to himself about this anymore.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.
Dorian doesn’t stop touching him. “For what?”
“The fight.”
Now, he slows.
“You wanted to move out, and I acted so...childish.” He closes his eyes. “I made things harder for you.”
Dorian’s palm holds the side of his head. “Yes, you did. But,” he sighs, “not for the reasons you think.”
Vaxus looks up. Dorian is gazing at him, smiling, but his grey eyes shine with sadness.
“You said things earlier today that I’ve only dreamed of hearing,” he whispers. “And that’s all I was sure they ever would be. I couldn’t…I couldn’t bear to live here anymore. Not with you.”
Vaxus places his hand over Dorian’s.
“I wanted to move on. Towards you, I’ve been…for so long–”
Vaxus fills in the gaps. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, heartbroken.
“I don’t want to hear an apology from you.”
“No, Dorian.” Vaxus leans up, bringing their foreheads together. “I’m sorry…for not telling you. For making you wait.”
Dorian’s voice trembles. “The accident, your head– you’re not in the right state–”
“I’ve never been clearer,” Vaxus says firmly, and waits until Dorian slides his eyes open and looks at him, before kissing his lips. Dorian gasps softly. “Believe me.”
There’s so much hurt in Dorian’s gaze, so much hesitance in his touch. But there’s hope, too, and Vaxus pours into his kisses all the feelings he’d been withholding, the thoughts he’d been too afraid to think, and hopes that Dorian can trust him with all that he’s giving.
Dorian’s sigh is more of a whimper. When both his hands come up to cradle Vaxus’ head, Vaxus pulls back.
“Ouch,” he grimaces.
“O-Oh! Did I touch something I–”
“Yeah, just a bruise–”
“I’m so sorry, let me finish bandaging this–”
Dorian’s face is redder than a ripe tomato’s. Vaxus laughs, not caring about the pain in his head at all. He laughs and laughs, holding Dorian around his waist as he finishes wrapping the bandages.
They’d talk more about it later. For now, he’s more than happy to just listen to Dorian’s fast, happy heart.
#dorian pavus#vaxus trevelyan#dorian x inquisitor#dorian x trevelyan#dorxus#modern au#this one is based on a prompt ive found once on kinkmeme#dorian is vax's gay awakening here haha#love it#da fanfic#dragon age#ticklishivories#finally posting the commissions I got over the time in here haha#enjoy it as much as I do 8)
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MALEC. ➰ INSECURITIES ARE HUMAN.
This story takes place between 3Bx14 & 3Bx15
I know Underhill has not been given a first name yet so I'll just name him Jack in my story. If the name gets revealed in season 3B, I will revise the text and replace the name. :) *(Part 1 of my series: our heart beats like one)
So enjoy reading & please remember English is not my mother tongue... :)
Sometimes I can't understand his reasoning, I can't understand him. Why can't I just understand his actions and be happy for him? He has regained his magic, well more likely he got a top-of-the-line dose of Lorenzo's and even that to a pretty lousy price. To the price tag of the loft. His home. My home. Nevertheless, I should be happy for him, but I just can't. Am I a bad boyfriend now?
Alec is lying on his bed at the New York Institute and has been staring at his white bare ceiling enormously fascinated for a quite bit of time now. He never realized how uncomfortable his room was set up. The large room radiated more of a particularly than a cozy atmosphere. Everything looked rather cool. The antique furnitures were indiscriminately combined, the whole previous facility more functional than friendly and inviting. Not like if someone would really live here and feeling safe and secure while being there. Neither Alec's character was reflected nor did it somehow felt like his home. Home, that was the key word, Magnus' Loft was home, Magnus was his home. A part of Alec, just a tiny little egotistical part of Alec, had been looking forward to the loss of Magnus magic. He had felt an unintentional relief at the thought that he and Magnus now had a chance to get old together and the immortality issue would be out of the blue once and for all. But as soon as the thought had come so quickly it had evaporated again. He knew how much Magnus was suffering from the loss of his magic and it hurt him to see him like that. His magic connected him with everything around him and without it he felt like a stranger. In the body of a more than 400-year-old warlock without the electrifying feeling of his magic flowing through him like blood through his veins. So how could Alec begrudge him that feeling? Furthermore, it was not certain that the return of his magic had automatically resolved the mortality. But he was too afraid to ask him this question. This one question that burned like fire on his tongue. The fear that this little shameful part of him would gain the upper hand in a confrontation. He didn't want Magnus to know about that ugly part of him. And so he was back to the beginning of his thoughts, was he a bad boyfriend because of that?
All at once his cell phone rings and an unknown number showed up on the display. Astonished, Alec answered the phone "Alexander Lightwood, head of the New York Institute, who am I talking to?" There was a moment of silence at the other end. Until the person cleared his throat. "Underhill here, well ahm... Jack." Alec felt a little stupid right now. Why did he have to answer so over-formally? Jack continued "I got your number from Isabel, After assuring her that I really only wanted to go out for a drink after work without any ulterior motives, she gave me your number." Ahm... yeah so, how about a beer? The first round is on me." "Alec tried to quickly sort the information inside his head: 1. OK then his cheeky sister Izzy just pulled out his private number 2. what makes her think that Underhill would actually go for someone like Alec? Alec blushed at the thought. Of course two gay men could also only be friends with each other and 3. Would Magnus see it that way too? What was he thinking, sure Magnus was not a jealous man. "Yeah, why not, Hunter's Moon at 8:00pm?" Jack laughed relieved. It almost seems like he wants to talk to Alec about something important. "Sounds great see you then." They said goodbye and Alec slips his phone a bit confused back into his pocket. He never really had friends apart from his brother Jace and his sister Izzy. Well there were still Clary and Simon. But Simon talked too much about irrelevant mundane stuff and Dustin Hoffman movies. Clary and him were just recently getting along maybe that would change in the future but right now it was more like a collegiate base. It would be nice to have someone who was just his friend, someone who knew what it was like to come out at the institute, someone he could talk to about shadowhunter-stuff and relationship issues and who'd actually understand him. Of course, Jace was his Parabatei and felt everything what Alec felt through their connection and tried to help him as best possible. But Jace, well... Jace, was still Jace at the end of the day and his advice, though well intentioned often not really helpful. With Magnus he could talk about all these things and he appreciated that. He had never opened so much to anyone but what bothered him now, had to do with Magnus and therefore he also dropped out as an option. So Alec was looking forward to hangout with Underhill, with Jack.
Magnus just left Hunter's Moon after his cheering-up-martini. He was feeling a little melancholic at the thought of his lost loft. But he was still convinced that it was worth it. At the end of the day it's just a thing and so he had the opportunity to look for a new home. That was always a lot of fun. He loves to have a look at new apartments and then set it up and decorate it again. He had the money and who knows, maybe he could even persuaded Alec to to paint the walls with him and pick out new furniture from catalogs? Maybe there was even a similar apartment in Brooklyn just waiting for him. And perhaps it was a sign? That the time to take the next step and move in with Alec has come. He had told Alec a few weeks earlier that it wasn't the time yet, that it's to soon. They were together for about two months now but it felt like an eternity. He wanted to say yes that day when Alec stood there in Magnus' blue shirt when he looked at him expectantly, but he couldn't. He was too afraid and had never ventured this step with anyone before. With Alec he always discovered new needs, needs he never know that they were even there. What Magnus really wanted, no needed was waking up every morning beside his wonderful boyfriend, to lose himself in those beautiful hazel colored eyes, having breakfast with him, eating french toast on a balcony each and every morning, spend the day with him and wait for his return in the evening. For his return to their home. Home, Magnus smiled, yes he was ready for this new adventure.
Arriving at Hunter's Moon, Alec looked for the blond shadowhunter. He just missed Magnus who went out of the back door. Jack Underhill sat at the counter with a beer in his hand and waved to Alec. Alec sat down and ordered a beer as well. Magnus tried to familiarize him with the different drinks and wines but Alec was usually more confused at the end, that's why it was always up to Magnus to decide. He thought taking the same thing like Underhill would be the easiest. "Cool that you've made it, Underhill started, I honestly asked you out for a reason ..." Alec frowned, and took a sip of his beer. Jack hesitated before he finally started. "I haven't been dating anybody for a long time now and..." Alec's thoughts were a wild mess now. "Oh by the angel, no I don't know how to deal with such a situation please don't say what I think you're about to say ..." Underhill took a deep breath and asked: Would you be my wingman tonight? Alec blushed, he wasn't expecting that. He has never been asked to be someone's wingman. Jace didn't need anyone because he was the master of flirting and now he's happy in a relationship with Clary anyway. What do you even do as a good wingman? Alec wasn't sure. Nevertheless, he agreed" "Okey, then and what did you have in mind?" he asked hesitantly. Underhill told him he just had to help him talk to a potential partner. "I don't know if I'm the right person for this job..."Alec said. Jack shook his head tentative. "Of course! if not you who else?" You got yourself the High Warlock of Brooklyn the Magnus Bane!" Alec grinned at the thought of Magnus. Although he wasn't the high warlock of Brooklyn anymore he sometimes couldn't believe it himself. Magnus wasn't only incredibly hot and sexy but also extremely funny intelligent and... oh, he shouldn't digress it wasn't about him now. But how should he help Underhill? Communication with other people apart from Magnus wasn't really his strength. Except he was drunk then he was according to Izzy *a babbling waterfall* "Well, let's try it, but I'll need two more beers first," Alec laughed.
Meanwhile Magnus opened a portal in the narrow alley behind the bar to get into the institute. Suddenly blood ran from his right nostril down to his lips. Surprised, he wiped his nose and tried to suppress the thought that wanted to spread in his head. Just don't think about it, then it is not true. He wipes his hand on the inside of his jacket and walked through the portal. Once there, he sets out to find Alec, he should be finished working by now. But he doesn't find him anywhere. As he passes the Armory, he sees Izzy and he decides to ask her about Alec."Isabelle, have you seen Alec? I wanted to surprise him with a dinner in Paris and talk about my... our... new living situation." Izzy looks at him sheepishly as she replies "Yes he is with Jack, I mean Underhill they went out for a drink." "Oh... Jack," Magnus says visibly surprised by this message. "Well then we'll have to delay this special occasion..."Izzy perky as always "don't worry about my brother, he only has eyes for you and I think tall, blonde and handsome is more like Clary's type." "Yes ... no no, I'm not jealous Isabel, do you know when he'll be back?" Izzy thought about it "naah, no idea tomorrow is his day off from that... I don't know. Magnus was undecided what to do next. He had hoped to spend the night with Alec in his apartment in Paris. Now he wasn't even sure if it's a good idea to open a portal again. Should he just wait in Alec's room? Yes, that was a good idea. "I'll just wait for him in his room," Magnus said. Izzy nodded and continued polishing her seraph blade. Magnus headed to the bedchambers of the institute until he reached Alec's room. He rubbed his hands happily when he got the idea to redesign the room. And so he was busy with his new project for the next few hours.
An hour later, the two men sat laughing, lolling and loot spying at the counter. So far, Alec had not found any of Underhills suggested men passable.
Underhill: "How about the one over there at the pool table, the one in the white shirt?" "I mean he looks good... and I like the way he's stroking through his hair when he laughs... somehow cute." Alec: "Uh... really?" I'm not sure, he's a bit pale" he said with a shrug. Jack: "Well, not everybody can have a flawless tanned caramel-like body with perfectly defined muscles and silky smooth hair. Alec looked at him puzzled "you remember that you're talking about my boyfriend right? Underhill then a bit uncomfortable "Yeah sorry, but I mean Magnus is really good-looking even I can see that. Alec laughs and turns back to Mr. White-Shirt. He inspects him from top to bottom, but finds it difficult to find something about him that he would actually classify as attractive. Automatically, Magnus' Ideal Body appeared in his mind's eye and Alec started comparing the two men. He couldn't say if he would find the man attractive if Magnus wasn't his boyfriend. Hm... Okay the guy could play pool that was positive but otherwise? Alec: Well he's definitely not a Magnus, at the most a 6 out of 10 and he's good at playing pool, you like doing that too sooo...? Jack: "Haha, but I'm not looking for a second Magnus either..." he started but Alec interrupted him, "you wouldn't even find a second one he said in a played sulkily tone. Underhill "Maybe I should have thought this through." The two men burst out laughing again and so it goes back and forth for a while. As Alec's phone rings in his pocket. "Oh, speaking of which..., "heeeey baaabe... "he mumbles into the phone, smiling.
Magnus on the other side of the phone exhales slowly before answering in his casual tone. "Hello darling... I've heard you're out, uhm... with a friend and I wanted to ask you when you're about to be back..? I'm here at the institute, decorating your room a bit..." Magnus cursed inside that wasn't very subtle, he had told Isabel that he wasn't jealous and he meant it. Especially after so many centuries and several relationships, he had learned that, jealousy is just a feeling that comes from your own insecurity. And he knew that he could fully trust Alec but even Magnus was uncertain sometimes. Unsure he might be easy to replace? "Pssst... that's my boyfriend Magnus on the other end, could you all be quiet, thanks!" Alec rolled his eyes at the guests at Hunter's Moon and shaking his head as if it were the most logical thing that the entire bar has to be quiet when his boyfriend calls. Yes drunk Alec was here. Underhill could barely suppress his laugh as he tried to ignore the evil glares of the others. "Send your better half kind regards." Magnus heard Underhill whispering in the background. Alec returned to his conversation with Magnus. "Ahm... greetings, no a kind regards from Jack and I'll be on my way in about 15 minutes," Alec whispered lovingly into his phone. Magnus' heart on the other end began to throb wildly, oh he loved this Nephilim so much that it almost hurt and Underhill is a nice guy so get yourself together Bane. "See you then darling," Magnus replied and hung up.
After Alec has finished the call, the sentence which Underhill had told him a few weeks ago went through his head - Nephilim love once, fiercely - Yes, he couldn't look at other men without thinking about Magnus and his inner conflict made itself noticeable again. Now was the right time to ask Jack for advice. So he took all his courage together and just blurted out with it. "Hey... Can I ask you something serious about ahm... relationships...?" Alec asked. Underhill took a deep breath and stretched slowly. "Alright buddy go ahead." Alec started to tell him about his worries. He told him that he was hurt when he found out that Magnus had regained his magic today. Because he has the feeling that Magnus prefers to have his magic, be immortal and to outlive him. To forget him and one day simply replace him, instead of being mortal and spend like fifty years in the mundane way with Alec. He confessed to him that he thought the biggest hurdle in their relationship would be out of the world. Even though he wants Magnus to be happy at all costs, he doesn't know how to handle this feeling. "He could have died trying and did'n't even ask for my opinion you understand? And I dare not to ask him if he has now regained his magic and immortality, or only his magic and if I am unnecessarily maddening." Jack nodded slowly as he said "It's always best to start with yourself first." Let's talk about the immortality part..."
Alec was obviously feeling better after Underhill's speech and decided to get back reasonably sober with a lot of coffee and then confront Lorenzo at the handover in Magnus' loft. Nobody had the right to humiliate his Magnus like that and he would do anything, to make sure his boyfriend was happy again. The two men said goodbye and reassured each other to repeat this soon again. Alec walked towards Magnus' loft, the cool New York breeze blew in his face and he felt more sober after each block and more like himself again. He took the time to think about Jack's words. Alec had realized he was right about everything. He loves Magnus and he knew from the beginning that Magnus was immortal. He knew that one day he'd be old and that Magnus would probably just bee as young and alive as now. The new situation, whether temporary or not, doesn't change the fact that Magnus is a warlock. He was born as a warlock and his magic is a part of him as well as the immortality. Done.
The loft was unrecognizable. Alec went to the balcony and admired the view as he did so often before, as the door opened and Lorenzo entered. He had so much to say to him, wanted to yell at him, beat him but he tried to stay calm. Instead, he just asked quietly, "You really are despicable, aren't you? Lorenzo remained calm and replied only insolently, "Mr. Lightwood what a pleasant surprise. I didn't know you came with this apartment." And confessed that he just wanted to humiliate Magnus and put him in his place after all, he is now the high warlock of Brooklyn. Not Magnus. Mockingly, he added a condescending remark, "And the fact that he sent his little boyfriend to plead his case tells me I more than succeeded."Alec was seething with anger. Lorenzo forgot who he was talking to. Alec would teach him some manners. Lorenzo could play games with everyone else but not with Alec. No. "I'm the head of the New York Institute. Don't speak to me like that." For a moment he saw the fear in Lorenzo's eyes. Lorenzo said soothingly: "You're right." Perhaps this is getting unnecessarily heated." So Alec tried to negotiate with him offered to find him a better deal. But the warlock refused. He was only interested in referring Magnus to his place and playing out his new position of power. Alec had heard enough. You don't climb higher than you should otherwise you'll fall deeper than you'd like. And Lorenzo was getting too cocky. Alec lowered his voice as he spoke again "Enjoy this position while it lasts." The Clave doesn't take kindly to conniving, unethical Downworld... Leaders." He took a step towards Lorenzo and glared at him as he said: "You will slip up." And when you do, I'll be waiting there to take you down." With these last words he left the loft and thus a thoughtful and confused Lorenzo Rey.
Back at the institute Alec opened the door to his room when he realized, that he was probably still a little drunk, since he had obviously mistaken the room. He was just about to turn in between the door step when the shape on the bed moved and two cat eyes lit up in the dark and gazed at him. "Alec is it you?" Perplexed, Alec tried to spot the flaw in the room in the dim light. The furniture were the same but the walls had been painted in a cool shade of gray, black picture frames were mounted on the walls, with memories of travels he had made with Magnus. It looked like in an art gallery. A big plant was standing next to his desk and he slowly recognized the Scandinavian style that wafted through the room. "Maaa...gnuus, what have you done to my room...?" Alec laughed. He heard a giggle followed by a yawn."I was bored when I was waiting for you and well Nordic Interior Design is currently very trendy, you like it?" In that moment Alec knew he would never ask him. He didn't need to know the answer. The only truth he knew was that he loved this man with skin and hair. And that was all that matters. "I love it" Alec said. "And I love you, so will you finally join me my angel?" Magnus whispered. Alec liked it when Magnus addressed him with pet names, though not all of them were great, but most of them were actually really cute. He wasn't as original at them like his boyfriend and when he tried well... something strange came out of it. He has become friends with *Babe* it was not very originally but since he was the only one allowed to call Magnus like that it was enough. He undressed and slipped in something comfortable to sleep before he went to bed an snuggled up with Magnus. For a while they lay there quietly entwined until Alec asked into the darkness: "Magnus were you jealous of Underhill...? cause I wasn't sure but... " Magnus hesitated for a moment before he answered, maybe in an octave too high "Uhm nope, I have no reason to be." Alec laughed as he noticed the little lie and pressed Magnus even closer to him. He whispered in his ear: "We both know that there is no reason for jealousy but sometimes even I'm a bit jealous, I think that's normal." Magnus turned to look at Alec in surprise. His Alec jealous of whom? He could not imagine with the best of intentions who Alec even rudimentarily regarded as competition. "Please, who could you possibly be jealous of?" Magnus asked. Alec grinned into the darkness. "Good night babe."
#magnus bane#alec lightwood#magnus x alec#shadowhunters#the mortal instruments#underhill#isabel lightwood#jace herondale#malec#huntersmoon#the law is the law#from rules to suggestions#season3b14x#are you jealous?#nephilimdaily#shtv#sh spoilers
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1-200!!! I can't choose just a few so answer them all please (unless there's ones you don't want to answer!)
200: My crush’s name is: I have two crushes. His name is Franco and her name’s Montse.199: I was born in: January 30th198: I am really: Funny197: My cellphone company is: Telmex196: My eye color is: Hazel195: My shoe size is: I think in USA would be 8 or 8 ½194: My ring size is: No clue193: My height is: 5’ 11"192: I am allergic to: Dust191: My 1st car was: None190: My 1st job was: I’ve did a couple things for money but I don’t consider them as jobs.189: Last book you read: It’s actually a play. The White Devil by John Webster.188: My bed is: my husband and wife.187: My pet: are my life. 186: My best friend: I have a lot of best friends tbh.185: My favorite shampoo is: Pantene184: Xbox or ps3: PS3183: Piggy banks are: really useful 182: In my pockets: my phone181: On my calendar: Waiting for fall.180: Marriage is: kinda risky but beautiful.179: Spongebob can: just end?178: My mom: Chaotic neutral.177: The last three songs I bought were? 1. Love of the Loveless by The Eels.2. Italian Leather Sofa by Cake.3. Seven Hours With A Backseat Driver by Gotye.176: Last YouTube video watched: Smiles and Tears - Ocarina cover. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kDSKLzmHhg175: How many cousins do you have? Jeez, a lot. 174: Do you have any siblings? Yep. I’m the little one.173: Are your parents divorced? Wait. 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes.171: Do you play an instrument? I don’t, sadly.170: What did you do yesterday? Not hoping I was dead. It was a good day.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Yes.168: Luck: Of course.167: Fate: Sure.166: Yourself: Indeed.165: Aliens: Sí.164: Heaven: I hope. 163: Hell: I guess.162: God: Yes.161: Horoscopes: Kinda.160: Soul mates: Absolutely159: Ghosts: I live with one.158: Gay Marriage: Sure.157: War: Combo breaker! No. 156: Orbs: I have a few photos of them. 155: Magic: 100% Yes!
[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses.153: Drunk or High: High.152: Phone or Online: Phone.151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads ❤️150: Blondes or Brunettes: I don’t care.149: Hot or cold: Cold.148: Summer or winter: Winter.147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: I love both!145: Night or Day: Night.144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges.143: Curly or Straight hair: I love my curly hair. 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds.141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Don’t do this to me!140: Mac or PC: PC. 139: Flip flops or high heals: High heals are fun but flip flops are comfortable. I’ll take flip flops.138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor. 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke.136: Hillary or Obama: Obama.135: Burried or cremated: Cremated.134: Singing or Dancing: What!? I can’t decide.133: Coach or Chanel: This is so american.132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: This is so american x2.131: Small town or Big city: Big city.130: Wal-Mart or Target: We don’t have Target in Mexico. Wal-Mart. 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I can tolerate Ben Stiller a little bit more. 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I really need a manicure right now. 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast?…126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas doesn’t make me feel old.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers. 124: Disney or Six Flags: I’ve only been in Six Flags.123: Yankees or Red Sox: Yankees, I guess. [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Without sense.121: George Bush: Did 9/11120: Gay Marriage: Still waiting for being legal in my whole country. Sadly, it’s never gonna happen.119: The presidential election: Do we still think democracy it’s real? 118: Abortion: Agree. But just as a final resource. 117: MySpace: Never had one. 116: Reality TV: Some are entertained but when people always talks about them and nothing else it really annoys me. 115: Parents: I love mine. 114: Back stabbers: Watch out.113: Ebay: Useful but watch out again.112: Facebook: It was fun when I was 14. Now I barely post something.111: Work: Do something that you love. Then it’s not work.110: My Neighbors: Someones are really hot. 109: Gas Prices: I’m going to walk all my life.108: Designer Clothes: I wish I can fit on that.107: College: Good experience until now.106: Sports: I love doing sports.105: My family: Fucked up in a humorous way.104: The future: I’m terrified tbh.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: 10 minutes ago.102: Last time you ate: I just had a snack.101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Yesterday.100: Cried in front of someone: Two months ago.99: Went to a movie theater: Four months ago.98: Took a vacation: Can’t remember.97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago.96: Changed a diaper: Never.95: Got my nails done: Like two years ago too. 94: Went to a wedding: Can’t remember. It’s been a while.93: Broke a bone: I’m not sure if I was in 1st or 2nd grade.92: Got a peircing: Never.91: Broke the law: Four months ago.90: Texted: 20 minutes ago. [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Rick and Morty88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Security.87: The last movie I saw: I re-watched Sympathy for Lady Vengeance86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Being an actor.85: The thing im not looking forward to: Being rich or famous. 84: People call me: Steven, Svenson, Child face. 83: The most difficult thing to do is: Staying quiet.82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: No.81: My zodiac sign is: Aquarius.80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad.79: First time you had a crush: I was eight. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself.77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: My acting teacher. I love him. 76: Right now I am talking to: My nephews. 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Have a lot of fun.74: I have/will get a job: when I finish college.73: Tomorrow: I’m going to relax. My fridays are always cool. 72: Today: I’m going to suffer. I have a lot of things to do and here I’m… procrastinating. As always. 71: Next Summer: Wasting my time without guilt.70: Next Weekend: A play to do. 69: I have these pets: Dogs.68: The worst sound in the world: Alarms.67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Selma fucking Jezkova. 66: People that make you happy: Family and friends. 65: Last time I cried: Last week.64: My friends are: fun hoes.63: My computer is: dead. I’ve being using my brothers Mac. 62: My School: Is ok.61: My Car: Doesn’t exist.60: I lose all respect for people who: doesn’t respect other people.59: The movie I cried at was: Only Yesterday.58: Your hair color is: Dark brown.57: TV shows you watch: Mostly cartoons. 56: Favorite web site: Youtube.55: Your dream vacation: Anywhere with a pool.54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I broke my left foot.53: How do you like your steak cooked: Well done.52: My room is: Always clean.51: My favorite celebrity is: Hayden Panettiere 50: Where would you like to be: 2001.49: Do you want children: Yes.48: Ever been in love: Yes.47: Who’s your best friend: I have a lot. It will be pretty unfair if I miss someone.46: More guy friends or girl friends: All my life I’ve been surrounded by women.45: One thing that makes you feel great is: working out.44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend Luck. 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Kinda. 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yes. 41: Have you pre-named your children: OF COURSE. 40: Last person I got mad at: a classmate. He can be an irresponsable pain in the ass.39: I would like to move to: Canada or Japan. 38: I wish I was a professional: musician.[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pecositas.36: Vehicle: None. 35: President: None.34: State visited: My family visited a lot of states when I was a baby. I can’t remember anything. 33: Cellphone provider: I don’t care.32: Athlete: I don’t know any. 31: Actor: Gary Oldman.30: Actress: Susan Sarandon.29: Singer: Emilíana Torrini. 28: Band: Gorillaz.27: Clothing store: None.26: Grocery store: A market. 25: TV show: Daria. 24: Movie: The Fifth Element.23: Website: YouTube.22: Animal: Fox.21: Theme park: Only know Six Flags.20: Holiday: Halloween/Día de Muertos.19: Sport to watch: Golf.18: Sport to play: Baseball.17: Magazine: Quo.16: Book: Momo.15: Day of the week: Saturday.14: Beach: Meh.13: Concert attended: Someone take me to a concert, because I’ve never attended any. 12: Thing to cook: Any dessert. 11: Food: It’s really fun cooking japanese food. 10: Restaurant: A mexican one. 9: Radio station: Any with 80′s music.8: Yankee candle scent: What?7: Perfume: Any.6: Flower: Sunflower5: Color: Blue4: Talk show host: Stephen Colbert.3: Comedian: Wanda Sykes, Anjelah Johnson and Bo Burnham.2: Dog breed: Pug or Schnauzer.1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I think I did.
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