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chiyuki-hiro · 5 months

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Demonheart: Can You Buy Me Pads

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aaagustd · 9 months

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and my man, thank you to my man | jjk

pairing: dealer!jeon jungkook x (f)reader

genre/rating: smut, mature/explicit

warnings: he’s not her sugar daddy but… he pays her bills, fingering, p*ssy eatting, slight Dom/sub undertones, begging, denied orgasms, jungkook is a dealer so there's some stuff about that, hating a** roommate, most of this is a flashback

wc: 757

release date: july 29th, 2023; 10:38 pm est

note: not edited bc i’m kinda trashy tonight lol. this is based on the latto meme/tik tok from her speech. “and my man, thank you to my man” lol. yeah, that one. anyway, another cute relationship drabble from me before i slip into my real writing style. honestly, these are just practice for me lol. div cr.

series m.list | main m.list | ao3 version

“Wow. A new MacBook?”

With an eye roll, you brush off your roommate’s obnoxious teasing. Every time Jungkook buys you something she can’t wait to bring up that you’re fucking your weed man.

“Yup,” is all you reply.

But today she’s just got it out for you.

“Hm, how long were you on your knees for that one?” she smirks.

Instead of getting mad, you take a break from your work and sit back on the couch, gracing her with a mischievous smile. She has no idea how far off she actually is.

-

“You taste better when you’re desperate.”

Jungkook moans his words into your pussy, edging you closer to a long-awaited orgasm.

Your hands fist strands of his wavy hair, hanging on for your dear life as he continues to mercilessly sucks your pulsing clit.

“Fuck. Please let me cum. I can’t—”

Jungkook chuckles as he lifts his head.

“You can cum, but you know what you have to give me first.”

Your withers and contorts within his hold, his strong arms pinning you down so you can’t run from him.

“Come on, baby. You can do it,” he coaxes.

There’s nothing sweet or innocent in his tone. It’s all driven by the eagerness to break you. Your stubbornness has always been his pet peeve, and he knows that you’re willing to lay here and suffer than give him what he wants.

“This isn’t fair!”

Your cries mean nothing to him as he teases you until you reach your peak, only to let the momentum fade away. Sweat begins to form on your skin, and your body begins to tremble with need. You’re close to giving in, but you still hold on with everything you have.

“Shit, Jungkook! Don’t you get tired?”

“Fucking right,” he scoffs. “Tired of your bullshit.”

You can feel his fingers tracing your slit, indicating your impending defeat. Once they slip into your pussy, he’ll control you like a puppet.

“Fuck,” you sob.

He shushes you, then dips his digits inside of you.

“I know, baby. Just let go. It’ll be alright,” he whispers.

Those words paired with the pads of his fingertips touching your spot leave you mumbling a breathless mess.

No longer caring about your pride — tears rolling down your cheeks — you utter the words he’s been expecting since earlier.

“I’m sorry!” you confess. “I should have told you.”

You can smell the satisfaction emitting from his body when he hears you speak. Only then does he take you to the finish line. Your body is taken over by a wave of hot pleasure, freezing your body where it lies on the messy sheets.

Jungkook praises your submission, and licks your sensitive cunt until there’s not a drop of arousal left over. Kissing his way up your exhausted body, he smiles as he reaches your lips.

“Was that so hard?” he teases.

“Shut up.”

When he lies beside you, you roll over and allow him to wrap his arms around you. He rests his chin on top of your head while he talks to you.

“Why are you scared to ask me for stuff?”

You shrug. “It’s not as easy as you put it.”

“I’m not the kind of guy that fucks you and leaves you to fend for yourself. The sooner you realize that the better, baby.”

“I know. It’s just taking me a while to get used to that,” you express.

“It’s all good. I just gotta do a better job at making you see how serious I am about you.”

-

But he didn’t need to. You understood once he said it.

You can tell by his approach that it’s not about throwing money around. He does small things like checking your car for anything weird, asking about your day and actually allowing you to vent, and just being there mentally and emotionally; along with physically.

Nobody is there for you like he is. He doesn’t just come in and fix the problem, he helps you figure it out and if you need help he offers.

He’s been to hell and back with you dealing with your old laptop, and he finally gave up on it yesterday. So no, you didn’t spend a second on your knees for it. But you will be on your knees tonight.

Your poor miserable roommate will just have to rub her sour pussy to the sound of Jungkook getting his dick swallowed.

“I’m glad you reminded me about that,” you beam. “He’s coming over tonight. I need to thank him for my gift.”

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts fics #jungkook fics #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fanfic #aaagustd.fics

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ying-an-sanren · 3 months

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The "Can you buy me pads" meme but it's TGCF edition and Xie Lian is asking

#mxtx crack #tgcf meme #xie lian #feng xin #mu qing #shi qingxuan #qi rong #lang qianqiu #pei ming #ling wen #jun wu #quan yizhen #hua cheng #hualian

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arcanesea · 3 months

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143 candies

PAIRING: moon junhui x reader GENRE: established relationship, fluff WC: 501 WARNING: reader is having period cramps (no pronouns used), one curse word

"Do you still love me?" Jun asks, stopping you from your endless scrolling. You look up to him in slow motion, wondering if you did something that caused him to ask such a question. Truth is, he just doesn't know how to properly express his love to you. Saying I love you is as easy as blinking, yet he finds himself unsatisfied with his own effort.

It's not like you demand anything from him, though, but that's what sends him on a frenzy; that you never asked him of anything (except kisses when he's in the middle of finishing a game, and he always provides them for you).

"Of course, I still love you, what are you talking about Junnie?" you ask back, walking to where he was sitting. You take the empty spot next to him on the sofa, leaning closer so you can rest your head on his shoulder. In turn, he brings his arm around your waist.

"I don't know, just feeling like I can't show you enough," he said. "I guess I'm just a little bit insecure..." he hesitates a bit, before continuing, "Honestly I don't fucking know."

"Junnie, you always keep spare pads on your car, you carry my bags when we're going out, you buy a reading lamp just for me, you take care of me during my period, you bookmark stuff that you think I would like to see, you send cat pictures and memes every day--"

"That's the bare minimum," he complained.

"No, well, yes, you consider it the bare minimum because you love me, for me it's everything because I love you," you said. "I'm sorry for not appreciating them enough, but those little things... They made me fall in love with you more each day."

"Is that so?" he asks again, voice small.

"Let's not forget when you bought coffee for my whole department, or when you joined me on my overseas trip, or last week when you sent 143 packs of candies..."

"That's a bit overkill, isn't it?" Jun laughs heartily, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. That was during one of your period cycles when you felt cramps and took the day off. He was away for work so he couldn't physically be there. You had told him that you're craving for some candies and the next minute you know, there's a delivery on your door.

"I almost thought you wanted me to have diabetes or something," you smile. It's the fact that he doesn't have to do all that for you, but he chooses to that makes you feel loved. You tried to reassure him that he's done enough, time and time again because he expresses his love in a different way. In a way that amazed you, and never not. He's creative with his declaration of love and you always point it out that makes him shy.

"Thank you, baobei," he said, "I'll continue to think out of the box to make you happy."

a/n. is it time to rewatch exclusive fairytale?

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sweeteaacakes · 1 month

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The "Can You Go To The Store And Buy Some Pads For Me?" Meme [The Kings, ft. Seraphims]

I just think Satan would be the most chaotic one. He'll ask what's your bussy size. Ends up sending you the pic of a styrofoam (he doesn't know what a d!ld0 is, imagine him knowing what a pad is 😭). He'll ask the cashier. Ending up buying brands of pads. He won't beat Mammon tho, who brought every brand just in case.

Contemplating if to put Leviathan on "uterUS". I guess he would think so but won't be vocal lol

The two seraph? Cool with it. Get on the point. Bold of you to think they don't know how a human body is, a creation of God. But will make the cashier swear they have never seen them there.

Meanwhile Raphael is on that aisle making chaos with Satan because they're figuring it out.

A different tier-list ver with other nobles and angels btw.

Paradise Lost all know what's the job. Gamigin just makes it extra.

Edit: akxjqisq I just noticed I misspelled "thick" in "think" djqjskqkfff

#what in hell is bad #whb meme #whb kings #whb satan #whb mammon #whb leviathan #whb beelzebub #whb lucifer #whb michael #whb raphael #whb gabriel #whb headcanon #.sweeteaa stuffs

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ovaryacted · 3 months

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Well let me send some soft!Leon.

Leon is the type of guy to be like “I may have gotten bitten by zombies and thrown against walls but like. That’s still better than period cramps.”

If he’s not away on a mission, I imagine he’d want to just lay in bed with you all day. He gives good snuggles. Gets tea and the heating pad.

But also, I had the hilarious imagine of Leon being real fucking clueless with the emotions of it. You know the meme of the girl over the toilet being pat on the back by a broom? That’s Leon. He’s like “there there” while keeping 10ft away from you.

Unironically if you run out of pads/tampons he probably texts you “what size coochie you wear?” Or whatever. But! If you tell him, that’s the only time you need to because he remembers.

Also, not embarrassed about getting period products. I mean, this guy is built like a house, and attractive as fuck everyone knows he’s picking stuff up for his lady. Probably getting head too let’s be honest.

He also picks up your face snack.

-angsty anon (I guess not angsty this time lol)

EEEEEEK thank you for sending this angsty (not so angsty) anon cause I actually feel like shit at work but this was so cute. Also I know the memes you’re talking about they’re deep in my gallery I can’t find them right now lmao. But yeah let me cook and self indulge cause I can. (And cause the cramps are starting to ramp up).

Disclaimer: I know everyone’s period cycle is different, this is not a one size fits all. I’m speaking generally, mostly about myself but yeah if it doesn’t apply let it fly and that’s okay! Leon would still be a good partner and meet your needs either way. 🫶

Leon to me is the type of guy that would provide comfort and humor whenever you need it and without you having to ask for it. He just cares, that’s all he does really. But of course, he’s aware that when your cycle hits, he has to be more aware of your emotions and what you need. He’s very in tune when it comes to tending to you, but he isn’t afraid to ask so he can give you exactly what you want.

If he isn’t at home, he’d probably have your cycle tracked on his phone so he knows when to send you a gift package or flowers just so you know he’s around. If he’s going on mission, he’d send those things in advance, and when he comes back home he’d bring your favorite food and snacks as a welcome present.

But when he is home and he knows your period is about to kickstart, he instantly goes into house husband mode. He knows the first few days are the toughest and it gets easier over time, but sometimes all you want to do is just stay curled up in bed and sleep the pain off. He’d be right there beside you, giving you tea and pain medication if you ask for it, making sure you have water nearby and a heating pad to help with your comfort. Clothing wise, he gives you his clothes, ones you already stole from him anyway, finding his boxers much more comfortable than the panties you have, and a baggy t-shirt that smells like him to ease your nerves.

He handles the chores in your living space, cleans the place up and does the laundry, plus he gets groceries and cooks if that’s what you request. When he does go out to do the shopping, he asks you what snacks you want, already having some in mind but double checks if you want something specific. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous your cravings are, he’ll give them to you without judgement. You can eat all the junk and sugar you want, so long as it helps with your mood he’ll get it. Or if you want fruits and things that are a bit easier to eat considering your nausea, he’ll get that too.

He buys your feminine products without shame, gets irritated about how expensive they are “because they should be free” according to him, and gets you an extra box for you to have in advance. There may be other people in the section watching him as he finds the exact brand and size you use, not that he cares if he’s being watched, and he can hear your voice in his head talking about it.

Get the all cotton ones with wings, medium-sized. The thicker ones are for overnight, so get me a pack too. Do not get the ones that say light flow or small, those don’t do shit!

Your emotions are all over the place, more sensitive and easily irritable by anything and everything. At times it scares him how fast your mood can change, but he doesn’t judge you for it, you can’t help the way your body behaves. He doesn’t hover over you, comes by to check in, see if you feel any better. If you ask him to cuddle with you, he’ll do that no questions asked, but if you don’t want to be touched, he’ll leave you alone and let you rest. It’s not personal to him, he gets it, somewhat at least. He’ll send you cute text messages with those silly emoticons from the living room, or send you a funny video he saw on social media (it didn’t make you laugh but it’s the thought that counts).

The mental aspects of your cycle can be debilitating at times, and it’ll make you second guess things that shouldn’t be in your head. Leon knows what that’s like, and he’s there for you to talk to if you need it. He’s ready with affirmations, soft words, and constantly tells you that he adores you and loves you. Shit that makes your heart warm and your mind shut up, he just supports you in whatever you need.

Now as for the secret period horniness that sometimes likes to sneak up on you, he’s also willing to provide. It doesn’t happen often, but he knows when it does. When you’re snuggled up into him and start shifting your hips against him, or when your breathing gets a bit shaky the moment his hands come up towards your thighs. He’s on your time, whatever you say goes, and he only does things if you ask for them. So if you say you want to be touched he’ll do it, he’ll caress you and massage your chest to ease the soreness you feel there. If you want to suck him off to appease to your oral fixation, he’ll let you, and happily keep your hair up and praise you along the way. And if you tell him you want to have sex with him, he’ll bring out the towels or propose a shower, whatever you decide he’s fine with. It doesn’t bother him, he’s seen so much blood and gore that this is the last of his concerns. Plus, orgasms help with period cramps so whatever helps you, he’ll do it.

Whatever you need, he’s willing to provide. Thats just the type of man and partner he is.

I need him. Im fucking sad.

#leon kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy imagines #leon kennedy x you #leon x reader #leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #resident evil drabble #please I need him so bad #you don’t understand #₊˚⊹ ♡ ─ angsty anon #ovaryacted thoughts #ovaryacted asks

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meowzfordayz · 3 months

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stressed — zenitsu, kyojuro, sanemi

Author’s Note: you ARE enough❣️ You ARE loved❣️ You WILL be okay❣️

stressed — zenitsu, kyojuro, sanemi

Agatsuma Zenitsu x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: none

Emergency Request Fulfilled: I started taking a lot harder classes this year and it’s killing me and my impostor syndrome because I’m so slow compared to everyone else. It’s making me depressed/stressed so I wanted to request a pick me up request.

stressed — enmu, genya, muichiro

~faqs~

Lowkey gets stressed too 🙃

Does his best to hide it, but Zenitsu’s an open book, so it doesn’t stay hidden for long

Sometimes he’ll even sense your stress before you do

“Are you okay Zeni? You seem stressed.”

“I’m fine!” ☺️

…

*realization hits*

Zenitsu: Are you stressed? 🥺

You: Nooo, you’re stressed! 😒

Zenitsu: But I’m not? 🥲

You: Well your stress is stressing me out! 😖

Zenitsu: But I’m not stressed?! 🫠

*insert Spiderman meme here*

Affirmations

Once you’ve determined that you’re both adequately stressed 💀😂

Zenitsu brings out ✨The Jar of Affirmation✨

Aka your equivalent of scrolling through cheesy, inspirational social media posts when you’re feeling low

Zenitsu: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! 😍

You: YOU ARE CAPABLE! 😎

Zenitsu: YOU ARE SMART! 🤓

You: YOU ARE DETERMINED! 😤

It’s kinda cathartic to yell/be yelled at, y’know? 🥰😆

Lovingly, ofc

Your stress hits close to home for Kyojuro (imposter syndrome, inadequacy), but he’s unsure how to support you

Which is not to say that he doesn’t try

Bc he does try, a lot and often 🥺

But a pin pricking feeling that he isn’t quite cut out for comforting you frequently surfaces

“I can order takeout and build a pillow fort for us to watch a movie in together? Would that be okay?”

Your stress fades to a gentle, manageable pulse as Kyojuro’s tender doubt gnaws at your chest, your arms hugging him into your warmth as you murmur softly

“That would be absolutely perfect. Thank you for taking care of me.”

—

He still questions his ability to ease your burdens as you snuggle into his side, plastic containers and utensils spread out on the fluffy blanket beneath you, a thin canopy of cotton sheet and fairy lights billowing above

Could I have decorated better? 😕

Why did I make us sit on the floor?! 😞

But he allows himself a lingering, adoring smile when you begin making airplane noises, happily opening his mouth to accept your forkful of pad Thai

“I love you!” you grin, darting in to peck his nose

“I wuv y’u too!” he declares, the tips of his ears as red as his heart

He’s convinced that pad Thai’s never tasted so delicious

Knows your favorite snacks better than he knows himself, and won’t hesitate to walk to the corner store to buy you a lil snick snack

“Kyo, it’s almost midnight. I’m fine.” 😝

“Your stomach rumbled.” ☹️

“I can eat in the morning.”

“Fine.”

…

“I shall wait until midnight, at which point it will be morning.” 😎

“What if I fall asleep before you get back?”

“Then I guess you will most certainly eat in the morning.” 😌

Doesn’t let you lift a finger, sometimes to the extent that your stress morphs to anger 🤪

“I said I was stressed, not incapable.” 😐

“Me helping you is a testament of my love, not a commentary on your ability.” 🤨

“You aren’t helping me! You’re infantilizing me!” 😖

“I in fact have not put you in a diaper nor made you suck on a pacifier.” 😃

“I will dye your hair while you’re asleep.” 😒

“Would a spa day reduce your stress?”

“No, but watching your reaction to waking up with green hair would.” 😌

“If you somehow manage to dye my hair without waking me up, then I guess I deserve it.” 🙃

“Could you at least let me wash my dishes? Or put toothpaste on my own toothbrush?” 😕

“No and Yes. Okay?”

“I want to tie my shoelaces too.”

“You can do one shoe.” 😉

“Whatever.” 🙄🥰

Gets you out and about

Whether it’s joining him on a grocery run or just walking around the block

Sanemi knows a change of scenery can refresh and remove the monotony of stress

He’ll even coax you into photoshoots

“Stop. You need a picture underneath that tree.”

“Wait, the sunlight is framing your face so beautifully.”

“Let’s take a selfie together.”

Not bc he loves being your personal photographer 🥴, but bc he sees how much you brighten at his softness 🥺

Sees how happy his explicit (albeit occasionally disgruntled) affection makes you

… maybe selfies aren’t so bad after all

#headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #modern au #agatsuma zenitsu #zenitsu x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x reader

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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 months

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If my German ass may give some context to the recent mouse pad post (I just saw it and completely lost it lmao. I need a Tittenmauspad for my desk at the office as well.): The GSG 9 are the special forces of the federal police in Germany. KSK are the military special forces.

And I remember watching a documentary about the KSK a while ago and the doors to the bunks of the operators were all full of pinups (nasty ones from these cheap porn magazines you can buy at the gas station, not the cool vintage ones) and printed out memes. I'm very glad that these are the men who safe me from a terrorist attack, if I should ever get caught up in one. ^^ And I bet 19 year old König "decorated" his bunk in a similar tasteful fashion (maby even grown up König as well).

ASDAFSD NO 😭💀

But to be fair with you I'm not surprised..... Reminds me of my first summer job at this factory full of old dirty men and old dirty jokes and there were porn calendars around every corner lol. And yeah these adorable pookies build our houses and drive our goods and save us from harm! Yay! 🥲

Also German gas stations?? I was forced to visit one at midnight a few years ago and it was a very exotic experience lol I'm sorry but never again 😳😭

#König's bunk has/had the most tasteful of these tasteful pics btw #like actually some tasteful stuff there #then again he also picks some of the images by how cute the girl looks in it #her smile her face her eyes #..... :/#p.s. tittenmauspad is officially the cutest word in the world ^^

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t0rturedangel · 1 year

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Hi!! Could you do HCs for kyle, jimmy and stan with a reader on their period??

╭ . . . Periods ੭

• ➛kyle / jimmy / stan x fem reader ╰ warnings / notes :: Corse i can <3 ! swearing, slight ooc. I'll try to post a part 3 of 'a guide to becoming noticeable' later or tomorrow

KYLE BROFLOVSKI - ✮ •

━ Surprisingly, KYLE actually knows quite a lot about periods so he'll be of a lot of help !

━ He'll bring you snacks and those heat packs / pads if you want

━ hell, if you asked he'll even go buy you pads / tampons just show him the specific one you want with a picture, he'll probably be so shit at finding the actual stuff you need with just a description

━ he'll call you up like " Hey uhm, babe, what- what kind do you want again ? "

━ If you ever have mood swings he'll switch up too to try and help you, like if you're sad he will comfort you as best as he can, if you're angry he's trying to calm you down " HEY ! Sweetheart ! It's okay- everything its fine ! "

━ If he has free time from studying or working he'll sit with you and watch whatever you wanna.

" Hey babe " Kyle gave you a nervous smile, when he left the house you were completely pissed at him- so much so that you were close to screaming profanities at him but now you just looked sad, once hearing his voice you perked up giving your boyfriend a sad smile " Kyle ! " You leaped off of the settee and ran into his arms, practically in tears- your mood swings and cramps caused to be in a hysteria. Kyle sighed, in slight relief as you weren't angry with him anymore " Yes, i'm here- you okay ? or at least feeling better than this morning? " he kissed your forehead and you shaking your head was all that was needed for kyle to sweep you off of your feet and carry you to your shared bedroom, ready to lay with you and watch whatever caught your eye.

JIMMY VALMER - ✮ •

━ unfortunately for you, JIMMY doesn't know much when it comes to periods just that you bleed.

━ yeah, when he was taught puberty he wasnt paying attention, now this is biting him in the ass. hard.

━ you'll have to explain everything to him while trying not to tear your uterus out due to the sheer pain and soon enough he knows more than he ever did.

━ you learn something new everyday, eh?

━ When ever you're sad or anything Jimmy will try to crack some jokes to lighten the mood and your own one- " Hey b-b-babe, w-what did the ah-ahh .... what did the ah-ahs .... what did the butt cheek say to the o-other ? "

━ When ever you send him out to get pads / tampons he'll probably call you up asking " Hey ba-baby, im in t-the p-pad isle, what size p-pussy you got ? "

━ he saw the meme on twitter once and thought is was funny asf

━ But seriously when you need someone to talk to or just lay with he'll always be there for you.

" you al-alright there [ n-name ] ? " your boyfriend grinned at you, seeing that your mood has lightened after one of his jokes, it even made you laugh after you seemed to be in such a bad mood- its that or your mood switched again " Yeah ! I loved that joke Jim ! " You laughed softly before leaning against him, enjoying his company " G-glad ya did " he looked over at you " w-wanna go watch [ f-f-favorite youtuber ] ? " with a nod the two of you retreated back to the room you both shared ready to laugh and just enjoy yourself before your period cramps started to kill you once more.

STANLY MARSH - ✮ •

━ If you think Jimmy didnt know anything about periods you clearly haven't met STANLY MARSH.

━ When you first started your period in your relationship, he was freaking out and genuinely thought you were dying, you calmed him down a bit before you rushed into the bathroom yelling something about ' heat packs ' .

━ Stan called his dad, hoping the man knew something about periods since, y'know he's not only married but also has a daughter. But, as per usual, RANDY was of no help; " Stanly, listen to me carefully- dont piss of a girl on her period. They get scary "

━ This thus left Stan to continue to be confused.

━ Later though you explained everything to stan, clearly things up for him and jesus christ he was a HUGE help after.

━ Shamelessly buys you pads and tampons. All sizes, winged and not winged, for regular periods and heavy ones. " Surprise? I just wanted to surprise you baby, plus now we wont have to buy some for a while ! "

━ He'll also get you food, usually something you mentioned to like! then he'll just lay with you and ramble about his day- and listen to yours.

" STAN ! " you yelped, a blush creeping onto your tear stained face, clearly you werent expecting your loving boyfriend to pick you up after he found you in the bathroom, gripping onto your legs as tight as you can to try and subdue the pain of your cramps until you found a heat pack. " Calm down, i'm bringing you to bed, there's food there and heat packs, we ran out so i bought more " he rambled while walking to the bedroom, a proud smile on his face. Laying you down on the bed he himself laied down next to you, holding you close to him pressing kisses on your face " So- tell me about your day "

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cricketnationrise · 14 days

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time: 1.31am (the time my dog woke me up today by jumping in my bed😅), location: Kensington palace , character: David and Alex please 🙏🏾 🐶, song lyric for vibes, discard if you don't like: "feels so good to be alive" 🌅 (from Beyonce's Be Alive Oscar performance 🎾💚🌻)

my ao3 is this same name but with underscores (the_marathon_continues )

no pressure if you can't get to this I'm sure you're inundated with requests!

*mushu voice* I LIVE hello i am in a two week lull of normal work hours so i have both time and brain space after a freaking month to write more and your prompt was the next at bat! i hadn't seen the oscars performance so that was cool to look up and see. i hope you love this little moment with my favorite boy. and alex.

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

1:31am, kensington

Henry’s stuck at some royal event, one that Alex wasn’t invited to attend, and Alex is fucking bored. He can’t sit still enough to watch something, there’s no chores to do since he’s stuck in Kensington waiting for Henry to come back, and he doesn’t have any schoolwork for once. And yes, it’s after one in the morning, but he certainly isn’t sleeping. It’s only when David pads into the monstrosity that is Henry’s gilded bedroom, that Alex’s brain lights up with glee.

A quick rummage through Henry’s closet (oh, the irony) and a text conference with Bea, Nora, and June, and Alex has a plan. David’s a good sport through all of the outfits Alex puts him in, placidly allowing the infringement upon his dignity and obligingly staying still for the camera.

He starts with a black bow tie collar Henry had lying around and fashions two shirt cuffs out of an old white shirt of Henry’s to go around David’s front legs. A strategically placed pistol emoji on the most debonair picture of David and the tribute to Arthur as James Bond is sent off to the group chat. That one’s just for the family's eyes.

Alex finds giant sparkly sunglasses shaped like flowers (left behind by Pez, surely) and slaps a super bright filter on top. He posts it to Instagram with the caption Elton Paws. He spends way too long making a black vest, white shirt, and black belt for David, wanting to get as close to the iconic look as possible. David’s unimpressed face looks out from the photo with the caption I’ve got a bad feeling about this. A cardigan from one of Bea’s old dolls and David’s own booties for cold days sitting next to him complete the Mr. Rogers costume. Please won’t you be my neighbor? With a fit of giggles, he removes the booties from the shot, adds the tiny crown Henry pretends he didn’t buy for his dog and takes another photo. He adds a photo of Henry in a similar cardigan as the second photo. The third photo on the post is just the meme from The Office where Pam says ‘they’re the same picture.’” Alex spends another ten minutes color washing a normal picture of David with bright purple, solely so he can make a Courage the Cowardly Dog joke.

He doesn’t bother checking any of the comments, fuck if people think he’s being ridiculous. Alex built this life; he’s found his person (and his dog). He managed to create something beautiful for himself all on his own, despite being thrust into the public eye. He and Henry came out the other side of the leak with their relationship and futures intact and shining brighter than ever. They’ve spent long enough putting on their best faces in public—it’s about time people remembered that he’s twenty-fucking-three. If he can’t dress his dog up in ridiculous costumes and post them on the internet like everyone else on the fucking planet, then what is the world coming to?

And alex is so fucking proud of his life, both separate and intertwined with Henry’s. They can weather any storm and forget anyone who says their relationship isn’t what love looks like. Someday, they won’t have to split their lives over two continents. Someday, it’ll be a given, an if/then statement: If Henry, then Alex. They’ve been fighting for something resembling normalcy since way before the emails leaked. They’ve dealt with depression and being outed, with a long-awaited ADHD diagnosis and the pressures of their families and countries. They’ve hustled and worked and bent over backwards for the public for years. If the general population has a problem with them occasionally being ridiculous about their pet? Fuck ‘em.

It feels amazing to be goofy, to act like the young adult he is, to not run every single tidbit by a publicist or handler, to do something dumb with his dog because he misses his boyfriend. So Alex will keep on dressing David up in whatever strikes his fancy and posting the results. If nothing else, Henry will love the results.

an instagram post:

[pic of david in a ridiculous costume, alex beaming with tongue out and peace signs while he holds david up for a selfie] when dad is away, we will play.

#cricket writes #the-marathon-continues-nip #ficlet fest 500 #yes i'm still writing these #work was just terrible for a while #but i'm back baybee #rwrb #pov alex claremont diaz #ridiculous dog costumes

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paulmcgannswig · 8 months

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Mask of the Rose Characters + The 'can you buy me pads' meme

#mask of the rose #fallen london #game; mask of the rose

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northlight14 · 1 year

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Danganronpa trans things✨🏳️‍⚧️

Just a series of headcanon’s based on the characters I’ve decided are trans from this game. All the characters I headcanon as some form of genderqueer and what the specific headcanon is, is listed here

Hina walked in on Byakuya trying on a skirt one time. Byakuya yelled at her to get out and threatened her to keep her mouth shut. To their surprise though, she was really chill about it and asked if they wanted to borrow any of her skirts or dresses and even asked if they wanted her to do their makeup or anything like that. Byakuya came out to her that day and while Hina didn’t fully understand due to a lack of knowledge on the non-binary community, she was still supportive and came out in turn as a trans girl

Gundham wears trans tape and Kazuichi wears brightly coloured neon binders. Fuyuhiko wears plain black binders and generally doesn’t bind safely, Peko having to talk him into being more careful

Peko and Fuyuhiko chose each others new names

On bad dysphoria days, Taka will do everything in his power to make Mondo feel better and affirmed in his gender identity. This usually involves him telling Mondo how strong he thinks he is or complimenting him on his muscles or jawline etc. At first, bad dysphoria days were hard to spot but the longer they are together for, the easier it becomes for Taka to spot the warning signs and he will go into full on supportive boyfriend mode

Sonia gets so excited when she finds out that Gundham is also trans or, as he put it, “like you, this vessel I inhabit is not reflective of my true character and soul.”

Kokichi loves wearing skirts because A, they’re fun and swishy. And B, it pisses transphobes off that he can be ftm and still dress femme and he thinks annoying bigots is funny. While Shuichi doesn’t fully understand as he’s also trans ftm and gets really dysphoric in traditionally femme clothes, he’s still super supportive of how Kokichi presents himself and they always stick up for each other if anyone tries to make any comments

When Kaede and Shuichi came out to each other as bi and trans, it was literally just the pointing Spider-Man meme

Byakuya: Kyoko, you should know I’m non-binary. Kyoko: yeah I know. Me too. What pronouns? Also, wanna watch that new serial killer documentary?

Gonta will call Celeste “lady Celeste” or “pretty lady” and her soul just lights up every time

Nagito realised he likes it/it’s pronouns because someone was trying to bully them by calling him an “it” and it realised right away that he vibed with that

Fuyuhiko will ask Peko or Chiaki to go and buy him pads when he’s on his period because buying them himself gives him a lot of dysphoria. However, it gives the two trans queens in his life a lot of gender euphoria to buy them so it’s a win-win scenario

Peko, trying to be a supportive girlfriend to genderfluid partner: so do I have a boyfriend, girlfriend or partner today? Ibuki: you ate the last of my animal crackers. You have an enemy😡

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roxineedstosleep · 2 years

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Hello, can I please get a one shot or headcannons of yandere peter parker or yandere tony stark in love with a reader that finds out about their yandere behavior but isn’t scared just flattered and thinks it’s really cute (no rush and you don’t have to, just thought I would ask)

In Tony's case, because only the deities of paradise know how much I love this man, I feel the following would happen:

*Tony would first seek to impress you. He should be your first in everything, basically setting the bar SO high, that anyone else who wants to impress you, looks mediocre next to him. Fine or cheap restaurants? Buy you your menstrual pads and give you your pain pills? Help you take care of your neighbour's cat and fix your plumbing? Travel all over town or to a country with a strange name? Honey, he'll give you that and more.

*Then, when he's impressed you all over and knows he's got you in his hands, he'll start watching everything he can about you.

*He won't make claims or demands on you like others would. Tony hates being controlled, and he knows what confinement and over-control can do to people. He just wants to hear from you all the time.

*He loves to be included or be your first choice for everything. If you ever tell him "I saw that meme and thought of you", trust me, he's already over the moon.

*He checks, monitors, eliminates and manipulates everything around you so you can be happy and safe. He makes sure you are always happy, calm and loved.

*He eats up the idea of you noticing and running away.

*Did he threaten the police to put more patrols around your house? Yeah. Did he get your landlord to give you fair prices? Sure, after three broken bones. Did he shut down the company that hurt his employees, just because you cried about your friend's mistreatment? Oh dear, he bought the company and has cut the heads off (fired) the abusive managers.

*He did several bad things for you, and he doesn't want you to run away when you notice him. But… Little detail. Tiny.

*You knew all about it.

*And he expected the worst: that you'd leave, that you'd leave him, that you'd yell at him, that you'd hate him… but that wasn't the case.

*All you did was cry. You were SO moved by his acts of love. Who does that kind of thing for their partner of a few months? no one.

"I've never met anyone who had such a capacity to care for and love their own like that. Tony, you're wonderful. What did I do to deserve you?"

*Now, Tony is in Valhalla. To know that you appreciate everything he does for you, and yet to think that you didn't deserve so much. Wasn't it clearer?

Dear, he'd change the universe and the multiverse just for you. Don't doubt it.

#yandere iron man #yandere tony stark x reader #yandere tony stark #yandere mcu #yandere marvel #tw yandere

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simper-maximus · 1 year

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Courtiers Headcanons Yoo

Thoughts are flooding my head, here is me draining it out even though I have no experience in writing.

Now, warning: I only finished Lucio's route so these could contain inaccurate information. Since I basically know most of the story from memes. Oh well.

Today's topic is bodily functions and other slightly disgusting stuff. Enjoy.

Volta

➼Overall there is a common headcanon (or maybe it's canon? don't remember) that the courtiers do not need to eat, and thus have no bodily functions overall.

➼In my opinion, while that is mostly true, it only is to an extent. They don't need to eat, but if they do, you better believe it has to come out too

➼With that being said, Volta, with all her eating, practically lives in the loo

➼The first month when she got to the palace and became the darling lil procurator we know, she was overjoyed by being fed whenever she felt like it

➼(Which is basically all the time because everyone though of her as some sickly victorian child wannabe) (And hey, gotta feed the workers)

➼And at first everyone though it was because her scrawny body was just getting used to the now normal food intake

➼But nah she just had no control over herself and would go full sneaky mode and eat five cow's worth of food a day whoops

➼So the cooks and even Nadia got concerned

➼Why is this precious baby always running to the bathroom?? Is the food contaminated? But everyone else is fine??

➼They took her to the head doctor, darling Valdemar to check for allergies because what if she is lactose intolerant? Or has gluten problems?? They can't risk losing their most accurate poison check worker

➼This obviously annoyed the other demon because damn it, WHY couldn't Volta just chill and at least TRY not to raise attention?

➼In the end Valdemar prescribed her some fake pills and got her her own bathroom. Problem solved, nobody is suspicious now

Valdemar

➼Another headcanon I see often is that their shell of a body is fused with their clothes, basically making it part of the disguise

➼Yeah, no

➼They work with blood and other non solid waste that could stain their clothes

➼If those clothes were fused with their body it would make it sooo much harder to keep it clean

➼Not to mention anything could get stuck in that delicate fabric. Geting all up in the nooks and crannies

➼Good luck washing it out if that is the case. They'd have to throw their whole self in the washing machine

➼That being said they have a normal body under the uniform, and take daily showers even if they didn't get particularly dirty that day

➼They do however use those very old block soaps that makes your skin texture feel sticky in a way too clean sense. Either that or the strongest one they can find. Doesn't matter that it makes their skin dry as hell

➼That being said their skin is unbelievably dry all the time. Please put some lotion on them

Vulgora

➼HOW are they always so sweaty

➼Maybe definitely that is the reason they are always so angry all the time

➼How can you thrive in an environment where your foes keep getting away because of your slippery body, huh??

➼Brings Vlastomil to shame

➼The Vesuvian temperature doesn't help one bit. Therefore this demon loves the winter, despite claiming to dislike it because "the colors don't go well with their outfits"

➼They definitely tried the "pads inside your clothes" lifehack to lessen the damage. Don't ask where the pads came from

➼Also those facial oil remover rolls? They got like four in each pocket

➼Weirdly cares a lot about skin care though, so they often brag that the oils are the cause of their baby soft skin

➼You could not find one (1) pore on this demon's face. And of course, everybody noticed that

➼They tried to profit off of this, and sold some wacky "skincare scrub cream" to the civillians. (For the purpose of buying some sick weapons with the cash of course) Didn't work. Had to wait for a whole generation to die off to escape the shame

➼So how does their makeup never get smeared? Don't ask an enby their secrets~~

Vlastomil

➼He, like Volta loves a good feast and always joins in whenever he can

➼However he hates when fish is served because it reminds him that worms are often used as bait to catch said fish

➼Glares at the palace aquarium as he walks by

➼He is probably the most normal one of the bunch

➼Doesn't have to deal with anything extreme

➼Good for him honestly

Extra: Valerius

➼He is slowly starting to go bald but admits it to no one

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silvcrignis · 1 year

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Claude Frollo Out of Context Sentence Starters || Part I/?

I have a divine mission to spread the Our Claude > Canon Frollo propaganda. What better way to do so than by making various quotes of his a sentence meme?

Clowning

“What the FUCK is Bible Study & Chill?!”

“Do you lot think the Booberry ghost is blue because he died by strangulation???

“I was absolutely high as shit last night. The Warwick Davis leprechaun himself could have started playing knick knack on my lung & I likely would not have noticed.”

“HOW MANY OF YOU FUCKERS SAW ME EVERYDAY & KNEW I WAS GAY & DID NOT FUCKING SAY ANYTHING?!”

“MA’M/SIR THAT IS FOUR MILLION DOLLAR MERCHANDISE DO NOT BREAK WHAT YOU CANNOT BUY!”

“...Why do you smell like Nesquik Strawberry Milk?”

“The asshole you are trying to reach is not available. Please disconnect the call & do not try again.”

“Also the day you catch me living in a shack is the day to lock me up because that would mean I finally went clinical, pal."

“Quit talking about shoving things in my ass, you perverted old man/woman!”

“Well. You are BORING me right now. I cannot relate to your poor person problems.”

“If I could physically meet myself I would beat the shit out of him.”

“…I am not sweet, __. Slander me again & I will take legal action.”

“Her vagina could probably host a fucking bounce house for all of them.”

“Na fam. Delete it right now.”

“Nearly every single time you speak you bring this family great dishonour.”

“There is only so much suffering I can endure.”

“I FOUND A CAT!

“You would end up being spilt worse than my firewood.

“You cannot do coke, that is illegal!

“Down to fucking kill myself.”

“If you are so insistent on sucking my cock this often you ought get some knee pads.”

“I like snow. It is a good way to hit your enemies with glass shards before they realise what is happening.”

“Do you want bullshit or the truth?”

“I am seconds away from a brain aneurysm, son.”

“You would be a wonderful addition to someone’s mantle. In an urn!”

“Shut the fuck up, old man!”

“I do not use Faebook. Faebook is for losers & old people.”

*sarcastically* “I went out to the woods. Pretended to be a forest nymph for a few hours.”

“That is… Not my problem.”

“Did the vibrating make it better or worse, son?”

“New Jersey’s state fruit is blueberry, you fucking crackhead.”

“No no. Continue squabbling, bottoms.”

“Like what the fuck like I can say hoe if I want to! I am a hoe, I have the pass!”

“I want no part in your cockles, __.”

“That is too many babies, Miss/Mister.”

“Ugh no.”

“Pull up then, Fuckboy.”

“Actually I was thinking about that one medieval meme about the leggings.”

“You cannot cancel me. I am a bad bitch.”

Being Fucking For Real

“… Unless… Oh fuck… I must be having another psychotic break.

“Would not be the first goddamn time I had a hallucination…”

“Those were the last words I ever said to my own son’s face… Then I never saw him again.”

“... Tell me you love me again? Please?”

“What the hell was I supposed to say to you that would not sound fucking weird & desperate?”

“You know, wills to read & a little brother to parent…”

“… It was always you but… You deserve someone normal.”

“I will be perfectly fine alone, the way I always am.”

*wryly* “Ah yes, because everyone keeps their promises, __.”

“I am going to beat his ass. The next time. I see him.”

“God, I know I do not deserve it but I love you so fucking much.”

#Sentence Starter Meme #Roleplay Meme #RP Meme #Sentence Starter Prompt #Roleplay Prompt #RP Prompt #x: Don't Be Craven! (Meme)#c: Claude #x: Scripted #((He's too quotable & its terrifying))#((This is beautiful I love how he can be either a moron or bring me to tears))

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sketchy-rosewitch · 10 months

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Can I get like. Any of Brian Van Holt's characters like. At the store buying pads for me and texting me like "Boy what size pussy do you wear?" like this meme.

Or. Cuddles. I wanna be taken care of right now I'm a pathetic little man.

I think you meant this as a request but I made this…

#bo sinclair #house of wax #butchie yost #john from cincinnati #brian van holt

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