#bye bye healing sundays:
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☆•° How does your inner child view Current you? °•☆
Hello my dears, I felt called to channel some letters from your inner children seeing as I have been working on my own inner child for the past few months, it felt only right to help all of you connect more with yours! So take a breath, clear your mind and pick whatever image speaks to your heart. Remember it is a general reading so only takes whatever resonates. Much love. Fae♡
♡ Pile One ♡
{Cards: The hierophant, two of pentacles, nine of pentacles, five of pentacles, ace of wands & four of swords}
Dear Pile One,
I, Your inner child see you as someone I could have only dreamed of being, you have power and wisdom now than I could have ever imagined, and the way you balance & control that power is so inspiring! We really came from nothing, hard times, and challenges but now look at us prosper! Far more than little me could have ever dreamed of! so much choice & creativity flows to you and makes me so proud to be you, or at least a part of you! Even if you feel out of your element just remember to slow down & look at how far you (we) have come!
~Lot's of Love, Little You ♡
♡ Pile Two ♡
{Cards: Five of Pentacles, page of wands, four of pentacles -reversed, The sun -Reversed, the tower and the hanging ones.}
Dear Current me.
I do not know how to start this letter, I do not know if you will even listen or care. I hope you will for I need you more than I have ever done. I do not know how to heal the hurts, only you do. Please don't neglect me anymore - It is so dark, so cold and I feel so confused. I am only little so why must my (our) heart hurt so? What was done to us was unjust but I do not want to linger on it any longer, there is a whole bright light for us. I can see it through the cracks but I am tired so I ask of you please don't hide away, can you be strong for us? I hope you can.
Your Ever-loving, little you ♡
(Note: While channeling your inner child I instantly felt drained of energy and cold, and it's a really hot day today so that tells me your inner child feels very neglected, I don't say this to make you feel bad. It's really easy to get busy and ignore the needs of your energy but seeing as I was near tears while writing your letter I urge you all to slow down and talk to your inner child, they really need you!)
♡ Pile Three ♡
{Cards: seven of pentacles, eight of pentacles, two of wands, the world, the star & ten of swords}
Dear Pile Three,
Hi!! Letters are kind of stuffy, don't you think? So don't mind if this sounds more like a text message! But oh, wow! I think you're so cool, like we're really the best and I know I'm right! Oh I need to focus I've been told so yeah anyway, we've done so much! succeded in all my dreams and we are unstoppable, I say don't listen to the haters they don't know us, or our story, haven't seen how far we've come, the work we've put in, the swords we've pulled from our back. Keep dreaming new dreams and know I'm your biggest cheerleader (on a side note we would have been great cheerleaders) Fae says we must have run on sugar rushes exclusively but I'm just an energetic kid! Anyway, I've got nothing else to say except Bye!!
(Channeling your inner child energy was like riding a roller-coaster, It's not bad in fact I'm sure you must have been quite the comedian/character in your youth but I do hope your parents/carers are getting some well-needed rest now!!)
I hope that you managed to find comfort, Inspiration, or a message that resonated with you out of the three piles, If not don't worry I'm sure you will receive a message in some other way. Much Love - Fae˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
TAROT DECK USED: Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot
MOON POSITION: Full Moon - Strawberry Moon (100%)
DAY OF THE WEEK: Sunday - Sun elemental, today's energy is good for relaxation and spending time enjoying the great outdoors. Rising with the sun will give you energy and it's best to avoid doing anything too active or strenuous on the body. Clear your mind from all worries and focus on mindfulness. Lucky Colours: Gold and Burgundy
#cartomancy#channeling#divination#tarot#tarotblr#♡ messages channelled from the divine ♡#pac#pick a card#folk witchcraft#inner child#inner child channeling#inner child work#self love#self growth#tarot community#daily tarot#free tarot#tarot cards#witchcraft#divination witch
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I will give you some incorrect quotes because my brain trying to write the future! yandere leo with MC rotted when i just wrote some lyrics so this is what they have for now
MC talking with April
MC: yeah, I don't know where my favorite sweatshirt is, and I need it, it has a lot of sentimental value to me, and it helps me when I'm sad.
April, suspecting that one of the boys stole the sweatshirt: oh, and when was the last time you saw it?
MC: I think it was on Sunday, a few days after the boys' visit to my apartment, oh, and some other things I had in storage disappeared too, I don't know how.
April: and you haven't asked any of the-?
Mikey runs past with MC's sweatshirt on, while Leo chases after him claiming it's his turn with the sweatshirt.
MC: Is that my-?
April: Yes, apparently it is.
♪••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••♪
Mikey, using his Dr. Delicate Touch side: So, MC, have you thought about taking therapy to heal your trauma?
MC, looking at him seriously: my traumas make people laugh, Mikey.
Mikey: Yes but-
MC: my traumas, my ways of coping.
Mikey, already sighing wearily: We have a long way to go.
MC: correction, YOU have a long way to go.
♪••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••♪
MC in the kitchen of the den, looking for a glass to pour theyself(? some water while he has his headphones on loud listening to music, oblivious to Donatello's presence:
Donnie, who quietly approached from behind, suddenly placing a hand on MC's shoulder: you know, I don't think it's healthy for your ears to have music on high volume
MC, who wasn't expecting Donnie's sudden presence at all: AHH-, WHAT THE HELL!?, WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?
Don, already used to they sudden screams and scares: well, about two songs ago, you should listen to your music at a lower volume if you don't want to go deaf.
MC: Okay, I'll take that into account from now on.
Donnie: you said that the previous 5 times-
♪••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••♪
April, talking on the phone with Raphael: yeah yeah, I'll ask him.... No, don't worry about it... Okay bye.
MC: Who was that? what did they say?
April: It was Raphael, he asked for his sweatshirt, the red one, he lost it apparently.
MC: Oh, the one with some holes in it?
April: MC, Raphael is the only one of his brothers who wears red.
MC: yeah but is that the one with holes in it or not?
April, sighing heavily: yes MC, it's the one with holes.
MC: ah, then tell him it was Mikey who lost it, Because am I wearing it as pajamas.
April: Sorry, what?
MC, making a gesture to play it down: Yeah, I saw it on the couch and I asked Casey if he knew who it belonged to, and he said it didn't belong to anyone, so I took it, and since it's cold and it's made of soft fabric, I'm wearing it as pajamas.
April: MC seriously, if Rapha finds out about that, he will kill you.
MC: Let him do it, after all I don't even like living.
Donatello, who is listening to the conversation from April's (hacked) phone: bro, wtf?
♪•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••♪
MC: You know, if the government had to silence us for any reason, I'm 99% sure they would silence Donatello first.
Leonardo: And why him first?
MC:
MC: first of all, WHY would you even DOUBT it?, secondly, this guy doesn't rule the world because he doesn't have the materials and the will to do it, and thirdly, your brother is a potential psychopath.
Leonardo:
Leonardo: good point.
♪•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••♪
MC about to vomit and suffer a coma for eating Mikey's invention (with a good persuasion + puppy dog eyes), which mixed pizza with some other food of dubious origin:
Mikey: and how is it?
MC already 100% shivering and unable to focus they gaze: It's.... It's fine
Mikey: OH REALLY?, GREAT, I made it especially for you!
MC, with one foot already in the coffin: that's *insert subtle gag* good to know.
Mikey: Great, because I made it with a secret ingredient, sedatives from Donatello's lab love.
#yandere teenage mutant ninja turtles#yandere tmnt#yandere rottmnt#yandere tmnt2k12#tmnt incorrect quotes#y/n incorrect quotes#some are not necessarily yandere#I think I missed some spelling mistake there
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Howdy y'all!
It seems like I can only find the wherewithal to post on Sunday these days. Please don't stop tagging me for Wednesdays, though! I have hope that I'll build up the free time for it again!
Thanks to @prettygoododds, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @larkral, @wellbelesbian, @artsyunderstudy, @nightimedreamersghost, @rimeswithpurple, @shemakesmeforget, @whatevertheweather, @ileadacharmedlife, @facewithoutheart, @cutestkilla and @alexalexinii for tagging me over the last couple of weeks!
First things first, To Heal A Broken Mind is in the homestretch, y'all! It ought to be done in the next two weeks, and then goes to my beta, and then I finally get to share it with @yellobb-old and the rest of the world! Here's a bit of softness from the final chapter:
“I love you!” I blurt, and then squeak and hide my face in his shoulder. But he doesn’t let me hide, just chuckles and lifts my head up so I’m facing him again. .
“I love you too,” he says solemnly, and I feel tears burn at the corner of my eyes. “But hold that thought. After tomorrow, say it to me again. And I’ll do the same. And we’ll start our new life…or, at least, my new life, with you in it. For good this time”
Westward Son is also on the downhill slide, both in the story and in the completion of it! I estimate that the final chapter will go up before November. Here's our crew getting to know a new friend:
Acorn knows where all sorts of forest gleanings may be had. He shows us berry bushes that still have ripe fruit, though chilled by the frost. He digs up squirrel hordes of acorns (his namesake, he chuckles), along with other nuts and seeds. And, while he is strictly a plant eater, he isn’t offended when we hunt the beasts of the forest. He even shows us the best places to set traps or string fishing lines.
When I ask him if he’s bothered by us eating meat in his presence, he’s philosophical. “Should I grow angry at the puma or the wolf because they consume the beautiful deer and rabbits? Their needs are not mine, and so I am content with eating differently from humans, because I am not human.”
The next chapter of Saving Simon Snow is coming soon, lol (and so is Simon) (warning for smutty snippet below):
It’s harder than you’d think to roll your eyes and sneer in disgust when the love of your life is rocking in and out of you, and you feel so full that you’re certain you’ll burst. But I put in the work.
“Consummated? You’re a moron, Snow,” I grumble, even as he steadily takes me apart.
He laughs. “I feel like you should call me Simon when I’m fucking you,” he says, panting.
“You’re a moron, Simon,” I repeat obediently.
Here's a little bit of tension from Snow Fox (next chapter also up in a day or two!)
Gareth comes into view, his pistol now pressed to the back of Malcolm Grimm’s head. “I tied up the Lieutenant, Sir. Shall I give the rest of these blackguards the same treatment?”
Forgive me, Baz.
“As you please,” I tell Gareth, keeping my tone light. “And no need to be gentle.”
From my CORB, The Heart in The Well, Baz is in a spot of trouble.
A sharp pain in my skull, and I found myself facing a hobgoblin. He was holding me up by my hair. Hobgoblins are related to goblins, but their skin is more greenish-grey than green, and they’re far uglier. But they eat people, just like their prettier cousins. I wondered if I was about to be their next meal.
I hoped they’d choke on me.
From what I am currently calling "Simon the TikTok Dancer" (which will absolutely not be its final name), try to guess who Simon's teacher is 😉
At least Snow’s obvious progress makes what I have to tell him tonight easier. I’ve been dreading it all day. San Diego State University starts up again on Monday, and so our dance season is over. I have to say good-bye to Snow, at least for the school year.
I indulge myself in watching him dance, not eager to bring down the mood already.
I can see spots where his control is rough, and areas where he needs more precision, but truly, he’s already beautiful to watch.
And finally, a little Simon and Baz bonding from Stars, Flowers, and Children:
Simon is bubbling over with excitement, and I can’t help being infected with his enthusiasm. The moment we reach the pond, he spins to face me with a wild grin and says, “We’ve found Blackbeard’s lagoon, Baz! His buried treasure must be nearby!”
I stare at him. What on Earth is he on about?
Simon’s smile fades a little. When he speaks again, it’s in a softer, more coaxing tone. “Come on Baz. Haven’t you ever played a game of make believe?”
Is that what this is? “I didn’t grow up around many other children,” I admit, stiffly.
Simon’s expression softens into something that looks very much like pity. It’s intolerable.
I'm actually posting well before midnight for once, so I'm going to tag generously. Welcome and join me if you'd like, friends!
@angelsfalling16, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @annabellelux, @bazzybelle, @bloodiedpixie, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @captain-aralias, @cosmicalart, @confused-bi-queer, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @gekkoinapeartree, @giishu, @hushed-chorus, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @ileadacharmedlife, @j-nipper-95, @jbrrring, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @larkral, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @messofthejess, @melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @palimpsessed, @sillyunicorn
#co/ws/awtwb#six sentence sunday#snowbaz#simon snow series#carry on through the ages#cotta 2021#cotta 2023#carry on reverse bang#oregon trail au#house au#blue lagoon au#american revolution au#canon divergence#forced marriage
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‘Peetah’ Morgan, Lead Singer Of Family Reggae Band Morgan Heritage Has Passed Away
Peter “Peetah” Morgan, lead singer of the Grammy Award-winning Reggae band Morgan Heritage, has died at the age of 46.
The band, known for songs such as Don’t Haffi Dread (To Be Rasta), Down by the River, Tell Me How Come, and She’s Still Loving Me, announced Peetah’s passing on Sunday (February 25).
“It is out of sincere love that we share that our beloved husband, father, son, and brother and lead singer of Morgan Heritage Peter Anthony Morgan has ascended today,” the Morgan family wrote in a statement posted to Instagram. “Jah come and save from ourselves because love is only way.”
“Our family thanks you in advance for your overwhelming love and support, and we ask your continued prayers as we go through this process. We also ask that you please respect our privacy during this time of healing.”
The Morgan family has not yet disclosed an official cause of death. However, publicist and music marketer of the sibling group, Sean ‘Contractor’ Edwards, told DancehallMag that Morgan died in the United States after suffering a stroke.
“Obviously, illness is a very private matter, and only a medical professional can accurately comment on the precise cause of death, but what I have gathered is that he had suffered a stroke and died in the States,” he said.
Morgan Heritage debut album, dubbed Miracles, was released back in 1994, just months after making their first appearance on the main stage at the Reggae Sunsplash music festival.
Peetah Morgan’s solo career saw the release of songs such as Better World (2023), My Makeda (2012), Heart Like Lion with Jah Sun (2012), Unfair with Busy Signal (2010), and Bye Bye (2009). -(source: dancehallmag)
DNA America
“It’s what we know, not what you want us to believe.”
#dna #dnaamerica #news #politics
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Wayfaring Stranger p.2
Pairing: Raihan x GN!Reader
Part 1
Word Count: 2415
Summary: A flying-type gym leader from Unova shows up in Galar and causes quite a stir in the trainer community. Raihan overhears a conversation he probably shouldn’t have. He invites Y/n to Leon’s mom house for a weekend getaway.
Warnings: description of what reader wears, mention of a missing Unova gym leader (Definitely not Ingo 👀)
A/N: The song mentioned in this is actually called Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn? by Evelyn Evelyn! Let me know if I should continue this one or not!
Y/n’s bomber jacket and hair fluttered behind them as their Togekiss sent off the strongest Air Slash to the enemy Garchomp Raihan had ever seen. A crazed smile filled Y/n’s face that could only be describe as excitement. Raihan found himself on the edge of the bench he sat on, waiting for what Y/n would do next.
Raihan hadn’t noticed how long he had been there until Y/n announced the last battle of the day had just taken place and the tent was closing. Y/n hadn’t taken one proper break, the longest they took as to heal and feed their pokemon, not eating themself.
As people filed out of the tent, Raihan found himself once again swimming up stream towards Y/n who was talking on the phone.
“You still haven’t heard from Ingo? I’m really starting to get worried, Emmet… No, there hasn’t been any sightings of him in this region… Of course, I’m asking around!… Yeah, yeah I know.” Y/n’s once fiery eyes were now much darker as they spoke on the phone. A deep sigh came from them as they listened to whoever they were on the phone with. “Have you asked that kid, what was his name? Ash? That kid travels a lot too. He might know something… Oh,yeah. I was able to catch the local Zapdos varient. It might be able to help us. I’ll let you know if anything come from it.”
Turning around, Y/n finds Raihan standing not to far away and pretending to not be listening in on their conversation. Raihan’s face failed him, the shock of hearing they caught Galarian Zapdos evident on his face.
“Sorry, Emmet, I have to go. That dragon trainer I was telling you about is here… No, I’m not going to ask him if he thinks air or train travel is superior. That’s fucking weird. I’ll call you back later. Bye.”
Y/n hung up the phone, walking up to Raihan and speaking, “you’re not going to insist I come with you to dinner right?”
“Well, you have a party to set up for right? You wouldn’t have the time for that.” Raihan riffs back.
“No party tonight. Sunday and Monday are my days off and I like to start that on Saturday nights.” Y/n explains, walking to the back office of the tent.
Raihan follows them as he speaks, “so you are free for dinner.”
“Unfortunately, no. Not sure how much of that conversation you heard, but I’m busy even on my days off.” Y/n begins placing their pokeballs in a portable incubator and humming out, “I’ve got a missing friend, an irate legendary pokemon in a master ball, and about about four hours of sleep in me. So, I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to than having a fancy dinner with an attractive guy.”
“Thanks?” Raihan couldn’t figure out if he should be sad at the dismissal or flattered at the compliment. “I was just going to suggest some food cart curry though. Who’s your friend? Maybe I’ve heard something. Were you close? It sounded more that just a friend when you were talking about him on the phone.”
Y/n paused for a second before slowly turning towards the tall man, a disgruntled frown on their lips, “We are close. Closer than close. He’s a gym leader with his twin brother in Unova. And frankly, our relationship is none of your business.” Y/n’s arms crossed infront of them, weight shifting to one leg, scowl dropping to the ground, becoming something sadder as they continued, “But no, we aren’t together. Those two are like older brothers to me. His name is Ingo.”
Raihan took another step forward, left hand raising to gently hold Y/n’s right elbow. Y/n’s gaze lifted, looking Raihan in the eyes again. They watched as Raihan’s face flipped between emotions; sadness, and pity is what he settled on before something flashed behind his eyes, a smirk finding his lips exposing a small fang.
“Hey, I know just the thing you need. Leon’s mom makes some of the best curry in Galar, and Leon invited me to his mothers for the weekend. I’m sure I can get you an invite; his mom loves me.” Raihan’s voice slowly filled with excitment.
His face reminded Y/n of how the twins would always insist they come over and have dinner after long work days at the station and airport. And just like then, Y/n found themselves following this practical stranger out of their tent after packing an overnight bag and up onto their Dragonite, following Raihan’s Flygon across Galar. Y/n had not had the time to explore more of Galar other than the surrounding area of Hammerlocke and the subway station, so this was a perfect excuse to venture out further.
The two trainers would try to fly the distance in one go, taking about 3 hours to get to the bottom of the region typically. What Raihan hadn’t accounted for was his own flygon not used to traveling longer than 30 minutes at a time. He watched Y/n’s Dragonite deftly ride wind gusts and creating it’s own when needed, while Flygon struggled to keep up speed. Halfway into their trip, Raihan signaled for them to land. Shifting on Dragonite, Y/n follows Raihan to the outskirts of another large town.
“Sorry! I don’t think Flygon will be able to fly me any further. It’s not used to flying this long with someone on it.” Raihan calls over to Y/n as he hopes off Flygon and calling it to its pokeball.
Reaching around and into their bag that was slung across their bag, Y/n pulled out their trainer belt. Unlatching a pokeball from the brown belt, Y/n threw the ball out towards Raihan. Catching it, he looks up to Y/n who is jumping down from their Dragonite.
“What’s this for?” Raihan questions.
“Give it here. You can ride Dragonite the rest of the way.” Y/n took the ball from Raihan, throwing it and revealing Galarian Zapdos. “This’ll slow us down a bit since we’re not as familiar with each other, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Raihan stands there shocked, watching Y/n mount the regions legendary bird, a pokemon he only had rare sightings of in wild areas. Y/n pet it’s neck before getting it to take flight up into the air. They struggle of a few moments, but Y/n is able to find a rhythm with the pokemon. Looking down, Y/n sees Raihan looking towards them, a child-like wonder filling his eyes.
“You coming or not?” Y/n called down to him.
Raihan quickly climbed onto Dragonite, the pokemon giving him nearly no time to adjust before taking off into the sky. The sun was setting when the pair finally land in Postwick, the home town of the Galar Champion. Both dismounted the pokemon, Y/n calling both back to their pokeballs.
“Now, I have to warn you,” Raihan started, walking up to the front door and gently knocking on it. “This family is loud, loving, and not afraid to point out every one of your flaws.”
Y/n laughed as the door swung open. A young boy stood in the doorway with a wide smile on his face.
“Raihan!” The kid jumped forward, hugging tight around Raihan’s waist.
Raihan hugged the boy back, “Hey, Hop. Is your older brother here yet?”
“He was. Mom made him run into town to pick up more MooMoo Milk.” Hop spoke quickly as he led the two inside.
“Oh, good. You’re here, Raihan.” An older greying woman catches sight of him, crossing the kitchen to hand him a knife. “Go finish cutting the chicken for me. It’s the part I hate the most.”
“Hello, Marie. This is Y/n, they’re a gym leader from Unova. They know Isis. Thank you for letting them join us this weekend. Y/n, this is Marie, Leon and Hop’s mom.” Raihan spoke politely as he followed the woman into the kitchen, washing his hands after her and starting to cut the chicken.
Marie crossed back over to Y/n who stood near the couch and holding out her hand, “of course! Any partner of Raihan’s is welcome in this house.”
Y/n reached out, taking Marie’s hand in their own. “Sorry, there must have been some kind of confusion. Raihan and I aren’t together.”
“Oh! My apologies. I just assumed you were with how he spoke of you over the phone.” Marie voice full of skepticism.
“Oh?” It was Y/n’s turn to be confused.
They hadn’t heard Raihan and Marie’s conversation since he stepped out of the battle tent to make the call. Y/n couldn’t think of how he made her think such a thing since they barely knew each other. Y/n’s thoughts were cut short by a Wooloo running between them and Marie.
“HOP!” Marie called over her shoulder towards the front door.
In the entrance stood two guilty look boys, Hop and Leon putting on unconvincing smiles towards their mother.
“I swear to Arceus! Get that Wollo out of my house, or you won’t have any dinner. Neither of you!” Marie called to her boys, crossing now to stand infront of them and point in the direction the Wooloo ran.
Both sons went running past their mom, Leon quickly handing their mother a jug of milk. Y/n laughs at the motion.
“I’m done cutting the chicken,” Raihan reentered the conversation.
“Oh, perfect. Go show Y/n how to satee it. I have to go make sure that pokemon doesn’t distroy anything.” Marie waved Raihan off, handing Y/n the jug of milk and disappearing after her sons.
Raihan and Y/n stare at each other for a moment before Raihan turns and speaks over his shoulder, “she’s going to find more ways to get me to cook so she doesn’t have to. It’s best not to fight it.”
Y/n walked into the kitchen, putting the milk in the fridge. They settled to the side of Raihan, leaning against the counter and watching him cook in silence for a few moments. The silence was accentuated by the occasional reprimanding coming from another room.
“Sooo, why does the Galar Champion’s mother think we’re dating?” Y/n smirks in a playful taunt, looking up to meet Raihan’s eyes that were already on them.
Raihan chuckles, looking back down to the pot infront of him quickly, “since I don’t tell her about a lot of people in my life, she assumes every new person I mention is my partner.”
“You talk to your friends mom on the phone often?” Y/n’s eyebrows knit together.
“She calls me when Leon doesn’t answers her calls. I don’t have it in me to ignore the kind woman.” Raihan sighs, turning the stove low to simmer.
Fast footsteps coming from the room pulls the the pairs attention as Hop comes flying into the kitchen.
“You have an Archeops??” Hops eyes were as wide as his smile.
“Yeah,” Y/n chuckles at the boy, “I do.”
“And you just mention this now? Come on, you have to show me.” Hop pretended to be offended before grabbing Y/n’s hand and pulling them you through the front door.
Raihan watches Hop and Y/n disappear out the door and Marie and Leon, Wooloo under his arm enter the kitchen. Leon follows the other two out, Marie coming up to Raihan.
“Leon was just telling me how Y/n runs an airport in Unova. They apparently are close with the subway masters there and even sings with them to raise money for the public transit there.” Marie spoke casually, looking up at Raihan for his reaction.
“Y/n sings?” Raihan turns to Marie with a confused look on their face.
Marie smiles, getting the exact reaction she wanted. “Yes! Leon showed me a video from Isis of them at their last performance! Here, I’ll show you!”
Marie pulled her Rotom out, pulling up the video and handing it to Raihan. The title of the song scroll along the top of the screen, ‘Have You Seen My Brother Emmet?’, as a jaunty station piano begin to play. He watches as Y/n and a man jump down some subway stairs and begin to sing. Their movements were perfectly in sync as they danced around each other and interacted with the audience.
Y/n wore what Raihan assumed was their normal gym uniform; a pair of beige pants, an off white buttonup tucked neatly and held in place with their belt that held their pokeballs, their same bomber jacket but with less patches it has now, and a pair of pilot’s goggles atop their head. The man they sang with wore a long black trench coat with thick brown stripes. He wore a train conductor hat with the same colors, and a purple tie and white gloves. Sudden realization hits Raihan. If they were singing about Emmet, that must be Ingo in the video with Y/n.
The two were pulled from watching the video by Y/n singing along to the video as they walked back into the house, Hop close on their tail.
“Is it possible that he could be in Timbuktu or Katmandu or Vegas or Uzbekistan? He learning how to do-do The Chattanooga Choo Choo? Oh golly where could that boy be?” Y/n finished singing, turning and grabbing hop by the hands and swinging around the front room for the rest of the song.
Raihan couldn’t help but smile watching them having fun. Leon came in before the song ended, closing the door behind him and walking over to the his mother and friend in the kitchen.
Marie tugs on Raihan’s jacket sleeve, pulling him down so she could whisper in his ear, “they’re nice. You should keep them around.”
Raihan’s heart tugged at his chest. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time, but it stung all the same. Y/n hadn’t moved here, they were just passing through. They’d be gone in a month, onto another town looking for their missing friend. He’d probably never see them again. How’d this obnoxious traveling gym leader weasel their way into his heart so quickly? And what’s stopping him from just dropping everything and following them on this journey?
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my completely arbitrary guesses at how likely it is (percentage wise out of a possible 100% chance) that taylor attends each game left in the Chiefs regular season. my experience with this is i am a casual swiftie and i was born in Missouri and raised a die hard chiefs fan and still know only the bare minimum about football.
Thursday 10/12/2023, playing the Denver Broncos in KC: like a 10% chance, maybe less. premier of Eras Tour movie is the day before, the wide release is the day after, i just don't see it.
Sunday 10/22/2023, playing LA Charges in KC: like a 70% chance, it's at home and it should be a good game, but maybe she's busy getting ready for tour/releasing 1989 TV.
Sunday 10/29/2023, playing Denver Broncos in Denver: idk man like a 15% chance? who tf would wanna go to Denver this close to Halloween and this soon after 1989 TV release when you won't even get to spend any time with Travis because the teams leave away games *immediately* after the game is over.
Sunday 11/05/2023, playing Miami Dolphins in Germany: even though this is the Big International Game (and imo the *real* start to their season), the tour starts again in four days in South America, so...maybe like a 30% chance.
Weekend 11/10/2023 - 11/12/2023 Buenos Aires Eras Tour Concert: Travis *might* be able to go, it is on their bye week, but with the season ramping up and training schedules (also depending on if he's injured or something) I doubt he'd get enough time off to go, so I'll say 25%.
Monday 11/20/2023, playing Philadelphia Eagles in KC: GOD I WOULD LOVE FOR HER TO GO TO THIS GAME but I don't think she will, she'll probably still be recovering/travelling/planning for the next show, so I'll say 15% for the Superbowl rematch of the sister cities.
Sunday 11/26/2023, playing Las Vegas Raiders in Vegas: ....are you serious?? she has a SHOW that night, absolutely **ZERO** 0% chance she will NOT be there.
Sunday 12/03/2023, playing Green Bay Packers in Green Bay: she'll be on break from tour, but Wisconsin in December? miserable. 55% chance.
Sunday 12/10/2023, playing Buffalo Bills in KC: not gonna lie to you Swifties, this is gonna be a ROUGH game even if it is at home, even rougher than the Dolphins. personally i think Taylor should come as moral support, lol, but she might be busy, so I'll say an 85% chance.
Monday 12/18/2023, playing New England Patriots in Foxborough MA: if the Patriots don't get their act together this'll be an easy game (barring injuries and stuff), but it IS in MA and not NY or KC or LA or any of her other bases, soooo i'll say 60% chance.
Monday 12/25/2023, playing Las Vegas Raiders in KC: absolutely not, it's christmas day!! she'll be spending it with her family most likely. lord knows the players would love to! 5% chance.
Sunday 12/31/2023, playing Cincinnati Bengals in KC: this one is a little more likely but (hopefully) Joe Burrow will be all healed up by this time and this will again be a big bad game, the Bengals and the Chiefs have become HUGE rivals with the Mahomes/Burrow rivalry going on. it *is* at home, but it is *also* New Years Eve, which again taylor will probably want to spend with family. i'll say 25% chance.
Sunday 01/07/2024, playing LA Charges in LA: honestly the odds of her coming to this game are pretty good! again, should be a good game, and LA is a good 'away game' spot for her too. i'll say 75% chance.
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tonight's delta green recap:
- grab the weird photos and fucking GO
- Jay being careful and efficient w the previous point while Jacob goes FUCK FUCK FUCK * tears them off the pins + shove them in pocket* is so. Correct it makes me want to bite (positively)
- this night at the opera interrupted by Wolfs Soup Time: The Soupening (I forgot to eat until now AGAIN yeehaw)
- if Jacob and Jay have to jump out of a window tonight I-- wait the fall damage is A LOT what the shit . I mean it makes sense but DAMN
- they're trying the downstairs window and . Jacob. Jacob. I said ROLL LOWER yesterday. Apparently you didn't listen -_-
-
- however. that would be very IC of him.
- JACOB CAN YOU ROLL LOW FOR THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER (he just failed the Athletics roll -_-)
- lethality 2% ( 1 or 2 = dead) ... BUT HES NOT I GOT A 3 AND A 50. HE JUST. IS UNCONSCIOUS. YAAAY.
-
Honestly my handler nails him here. This is so in character it makes me lol.
- oh Jesus he has 3/13 hp rn . Jacob.
- operation ambush the cops is now underway, please hold for resolution
- me for literally 15 min just now trying to make a tactical decision re Jay's turn:
-
This sounds bad but I'm having fun! ^_^
- no context but MY HANLDER REMAINS THE BEST HANDLER
- COP 1 HAS BEEN SHOT IN THE FACE BY JOY LETS FUCKING [DABS] GO
- handler has deemed cops are not innocents and therefore we don't have to SAN roll unless we kill them (:
- shoutout to cop 1 for having a gunshot wound to the face but still barely missing shooting Jay in the head while also in the fucking dark
- JAY RUSHES OFFICER 2 #YOLO. Also they said 'hell' which is a big thing for them. They don’t usually swear.
- cop 2 rolls to fight back and loses; he is scratched by Jay and not really hurt at all but. at least he lost fight back?
- JEAN FIRST AID ROLLED AND MAX HEALED; JACOB IS .. [I push his slowly waking consciousness back under. He will not be helpful right now. I pat his head affectionately.]
- JAY HAS BEEN SHOT.
- JAY HAS SAID A 2ND SWEAR WORD.
- JEAN THREW A FUCKING HAMMER AT COP 1 AND KILLED HIM IM --
-
- OH SHIT THEY HIT AND ROLLED MAX DAMAGE; COPS ALIVE BUT HURT BAD
- JOY SHOT ABOVE COP IN THE FACE AND HES FUCKING DEAD NOW
- combat over; 2 hrs 20 mins. please GOD can we have some guns now.
-
- I can just imagine the group going back to Sunday like 'so here's what happened' and he just goes [SIGH]
- going to Jean's motel to do surgical things (they have relevant background)
- so because Jay's Thing(TM) is Forensics, they know they a) all left enough blood to get checked against by records b) either they have 2 weeks or 48 hours and c) they are on record; they don't know about everyone else
- does it count if Jay says the fuck word but it's just them using someone else's words? unsure wolf is unsure but lol'ing
- surgery time for Jay! Then the woman they found at the apartment & Jacob.
- surgery success from Jean; Jay is at 12/13 health & the apartment woman is also like. Better now. Jacob's turn.
- surgery roll from Jean for Jacob succeds as well, yaaaayyyy
-
- eepy time for Jay and also wolves. bye
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My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé
Chapter 38: May 30th
Traffic wasn’t exactly sparse, but Jong-Yeol had already been circulating the block for the last half hour or so out of fear for your safety. He therefore managed to arrive where he had left you within a few minutes. Before entering the car, you half-drunkenly mumbled byes to the members of BTS, all except for Jungkook and Jimin, who was helping the former in his search upstairs still. Though it felt a bit weird just leaving without telling everyone goodbye, it was, perhaps, for the better that you didn’t see Jungkook again - at least not that evening.
Because you were forced to wipe your eyes more times than you could count on your way home. Not even the dullness of intoxication numbed the wretched pain inside your chest.
You stumbled straight into bed when you arrived home and fell asleep instantly. After some hungover deliberation during the next day, you came to the conclusion that you might as well make your trip to Osaka about something more other than just Jungkook and his hyungs’ concert. You decided to make it a trip for yourself, too, and since Se-Eun was unable to come along due to her own hindrances in life and Jung-Hyun still hadn’t answered you from the day before, it truly was a trip for your own sake.
Thus, it wasn’t with a particularly heavy heart that you called the university to apply for five days of non-attendance, meaning you would be gone for an entire week of lectures and classes. Even though you felt a little bad for exploiting your parents influence on the school, you felt exhausted, through and through. You needed a vacation, if only briefly, and somewhere you wouldn’t have to be reminded who you were. In Japan, you hoped to escape, ever so momentarily, the burden you had been born to wear.
And the curse of harboring feelings you refused to acknowledge yet couldn’t seem to deny toward someone who would never be yours.
Yes, all you needed to do was endure. Endure the feeling of having all your emotions tugged and drawn into a thin, thin string just a little, tiny bit longer. Over the course of three months and more that string had remained intact - it must not break just yet.
Three days. Three days after which you could finally rest and allow yourself to heal, permanently this time.
Saturday evening, you videochatted with your parents on KakaoTalk while booking a plane ticket to Osaka. Initially, your mother stood reluctant as to your long leave, but your father eventually convinced her to let you go, and you were told some nice places to stay, eat or simply visit. It was clear, however much they tried to conceal it, that they were concerned for you. And deeply so. None of them said it out loud, but you noticed it in the way they exchanged glances with each other, or in a question disguised as another.
It didn’t matter, though. As long as you could have this week, you would be fine.
Or so you fervently wished.
Since you didn’t want to lag behind due to your vacation, the rest of the weekend was dedicated to studying. It wasn’t until late Sunday evening came around that you felt an uneasiness creep up on you. Jung-Hyun hadn’t gotten back to you ever since Thursday afternoon and though he wasn’t exactly a talkative guy, he wouldn’t just ignore your messages. Something could have just happened to his phone, however, and so you disregarded your concern for him as a mild case of paranoia.
And then it was time for you to call Jungkook about the details surrounding the concert.
His familiar voice filled your ear within fifteen seconds of the call. “(Y/N),” he said hushedly, sounding strangely out of breath. “Did something happen?”
For a moment, you contemplated whether or not to tell Jungkook about your recent shortage of communication with his brother. But then, deciding your earlier prediction was the most likely cause of Jung-Hyun’s lack of response, you simply smiled as you curled up into your chair and hoped you would sound completely normal when you spoke. “Why do you ask that? Can’t I just call you to see how you’re doing?”
“Well,” he began, his tone stiffening. “I’m kind of in a situation right now…”
Before you could ask him to specify his “situation”, you heard a female voice in the other end. It took away all the warmth of hearing Jungkook’s voice and burned away the blurry memory you had of Jungkook the evening with his group members - to be more precise, how good it had felt touching him and have him touch you while carrying your drunken self downstairs.
No, not even the most masochistic part of you enjoyed what you heard next.
“Who is it, honey?”
It sounded close, far too close in your ear for her to merely be in the same room, even less nearby Jungkook. Her voice trickled into your ear like old orange juice, sweet and pungent and sticky, and resounded as loudly and clearly in your head as if though she were pressing her mouth right next to the microphone. The way her lips moved, you could see it before you, and the way she smiled, you could feel how it affected him, and the way she probably was lying beside Jungkook, touching and caressing him - it was all too apparent, too explicit. Too thinkable .
You thought you were going to throw up.
“It’s just Jimin.”
It was a curt, precise answer. You barely registered that Jungkook had lied before Park Yi-Jae pressed on.
“Really? Why was the caller ID so weird then?”
You gulped. You had forgotten completely about the apparently weird name you had in Jungkook’s contact list, and hadn’t bothered checking it when you had had the opportunity.
“I got annoyed at him this morning so I decided to change it.” Jungkook lied as smoothly as if he had been prepared for her continuous pursuit.
“What does he want?” you heard her ask, her voice lowering for some reason.
“He… he was wondering when I would return.” Jungkook had spoken almost reluctantly, as if he didn’t want to say it, which struck you as odd since it was just a lie anyway. But then, you realized why - Jungkook didn’t want you to know how long he probably had remained with Yi-Jae.
As to why he didn’t want you to know about that fact… one could merely guess at, considering what he had told you yesterday.
She giggled. “I guess I’ve stolen you long enough. Jimin-oppa,” she said abruptly, causing you to almost fall off your chair, “I’ll send him back to you now! Good night! And I’ll see you on Tuesday!”
You almost thought you were going to have to fake Jimin’s voice, which you in no way knew well enough to even come close to mimicking, when you heard a rustle of what must be fabric - clothes or sheets? - and then Jungkook’s voice.
“I’ll call you again in five.”
He cut the call immediately, without waiting for your reply. You didn’t mind it though - you were paralyzed with shock.
Had you just called in the middle of… or after… or in the beginnings of… something you had absolutely no intention of calling anyone - least of all Jungkook - in whatever stage that so were or had been?
You had to cleanse your throat with some cold water. Your pajama pant pocket buzzed just in time for when you had brought your nausea under control, but you were still forced to inhale deeply before answering.
“Yes?” you said.
“Sorry about that,” said Jungkook quickly. “Must have been really awkward.”
“Something like that,” you replied. “I was just calling to ask about Tuesday - the wheres, whens, hows and so on and so forth.”
You almost couldn’t believe how normal you actually sounded. The words ran right out of you nearly automatically, and you didn’t feel a thing inside. It was neither cold, nor hard, nor warm, nor soft. Your heart was merely there , pounding evenly and obediently to keep the rest of your body alive.
Had it reached its limit?
“I was just thinking about calling you about that, too,” he said, something akin to relief in his voice. “Would you like to come to rehearsals and watch?”
“No,” you answered instantly. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to distract you or disturb preparations by being in the way.”
“Please, we’ll be performing before thousands. And I’d actually like it if I had some kind of audience during practice. To warm up in front of, you know. And in an arena with more than fifteen thousand seats, you should find a spot where staff won’t be bothered by you.”
“Sure then,” you decided, still feeling a bit detached from the situation at hand.
There was a pause before Jungkook asked, “Do you have time to be on all three of our concerts? They’ll be straight after one another.”
“No,” you said, a half-lie. “Only the May 30th one.”
“A shame,” said Jungkook, his voice genuine. “But I guess education is important.”
“You guessed right.”
He chuckled. “I’ll text you the address to the arena. And time when we’ve received our schedules for the day.”
“Perfect.”
Strangely, Jungkook left you hanging for a while. You almost felt how he was readying himself for something, and consequently did the same.
“Yi-Jae will be there as well.”
“I heard,” you said casually, somehow. “Seems I’ll get to know another incredibly influential and popular idol.”
“It’s alright with you, then?”
You snorted. “What would you do if I said I weren’t?” you said jokingly.
Jungkook didn’t respond. You tried not to think about what his silence entailed, and swallowed before continuing. “Of course, I don’t mind. I’ll get an excellent opportunity to get to know her.”
The sentence had barely left your lips when you realized you weren’t joking anymore. You did want to know who exactly Park Yi-Jae was. Not only because you now were supposed to be Jungkook’s closest friend and therefore had a duty to look out for him as well as get along with his girlfriend.
No, you wanted to know what he saw in her, a girl you had met a total of two times - both with devastating results.
It wasn’t on a jealous or masochistic basis you had founded your new idea. No, really, it wasn’t. Frankly, you were curious of her character, seeing as she was the catalyst for everything that had happened that February night at the stadium. Because you could have sworn she had planned the whole “chance” encounter between you and Jungkook, which thereby had led up to the accident and the amnesia in the first place. It wasn’t something you could exactly prove, but remembering the way she had behaved and spoken… something was definitely fishy.
You didn’t think Yi-Jae had planned that Jungkook would throw a drunken tantrum afterward and get run over, not judging by the awful way she had acted in the parking lot of Asan Medical Center, but she was definitely not an innocent bystander. Yet, you knew she hadn’t been aware of you and Jungkook’s engagement, which had been made clear by both Jungkook himself and what she had told you after he had figuratively thrown her out of his hospital room.
Additionally, you hadn’t forgotten about what Yoongi had told you when you two had privately met. Namely, about the incident involving Yi-Jae and that actor guy having met up earlier this year in ways that, for the paparazzi, appeared suspicious. And although photographs and articles from tabloid reporters were about as realistic and honest as Se-Eun’s stance on romance, you remembered Yoongi saying how Jungkook had lied about how steady his and Yi-Jae’s relationship was.
Park Yi-Jae had been the first domino brick. Yet who was she? Who was the person that had initiated all the drama and all the stupid mess that came out of Jungkook’s amnesia?
Who was the person responsible for all of your pain?
“(Y/N)?” someone said for the fourth time.
You jolted, having completely forgotten about the phone conversation while absorbed into your thoughts. “Yeah, sorry, I accidentally pressed mute.”
“And you call me the idiot?” he asked incredulously.
“Don’t try to tell me you haven’t done it, too, at least once.”
“Nope.”
You grimaced even though you were glad he didn’t appear to see through your lie. “Shoot. There goes my most embarrassing secret.”
“I can think of a number of more embarrassing moments. A large number.”
“I have to go,” you said, intentionally ignoring his comment.
“I bet. I’ll see you on Tuesday, then.”
You nodded. “See you on Tuesday,” you echoed before hanging up.
It was a night of restlessness before you woke up early the next morning in order to catch the first flight of the day to Osaka. Jong-Yeol grumbled as he drove you to Incheon, also evidently reluctant as to your one week long absence despite your greatest attempts at reassurance. Still, he helped you check-in your bags and admit your ticket, following you all the way to the security controls where he was simply forced to let you go.
“I’ll see you in a week,” you said where you stood fifth in line to the security measures. “And stop worrying,” you added when he clenched and unclenched his fists. “I know Japanese better than dad. I’ll just ask around if I get lost, or just use my phone.”
Standing next to you, Jong-Yeol sighed. “I know,” he said. “You’re an adult now. You should be able to handle yourself. But I still don’t like the fact that you’re going alone.”
“Jungkook and his hyungs and their staff will be there, too,” you pointed out as you shuffled a few centimeters forward, the line of people behind you following along.
“He’s no good,” he replied with another sigh. “If only Jung-Hyun would have accompanied you.”
“Oh, yeah,” you uttered, recalling the issue with Jungkook’s brother. “I haven’t heard from him since Thursday last week. Do you know if he’s gone somewhere?”
Jong-Yeol shook his head. “Nothing. Do you mean to say you cannot even reach him by phone?”
“Yeah.”
“Something must have happened to his phone. He’s a busy man, (Y/N) - he’ll get back to you when he can.” Jong-Yeol gently patted your shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about, I promise.”
You gazed down your engagement ring. “You’re probably right.”
It took another ten minutes before you were able to get through security, from which point on you were completely on your own. You waved a silent goodbye at Jong-Yeol before heading into the duty free shops and boutiques, and while nothing came remotely close to being “too expensive”, you found yourself losing interest rapidly and it wasn't long until you became bored. Since it was still two hours left until the plane would lift, however, you decided to find your way to the gate and read or browse the news or talk to Se-Eun for the remainder of the time.
Se-Eun was thrilled for your sake - and very much frustrated over her mother having vetoed her attempt at tagging along with you - yet you could hint worry in her tone, too, a worry similar to your parents and Jong-Yeol’s. You noticed how she tried to hide it behind her usual glad disposition, but when you told her you had to leave for the plane, she finally cracked.
“(Y/N),” she said earnestly, causing you to sit down onto the black leather sofa in the first class lounge again. “You’re… you’re coming back, right?”
Your eyes widened, both in surprise and dismay. “Don't tell me you're thinking what I think you're thinking,” you said, tone sharper than perhaps necessary but useful nevertheless. You couldn't believe what you had just heard.
“I’m not!” she blurted, obviously guilt bearing down her tone. “I just want you to know, (Y/N)...” She hesitated.
“What?” you asked, one eyebrow quirked. “What do I need to know?”
Se-Eun inhaled deeply before continuing. “Don’t do something you’ll regret. Please,” she added before you could interject. “I care too much about you - I won’t be able to stand seeing you unhappy.”
“I’m not unhappy,” you said firmly. “And I will return to Seoul, I promise.”
“I hope so.”
You didn’t know which ones of your statements she had addressed, nor were you sure you wanted to know.
“Look, I can’t talk anymore,” you went on hastily as you heard the second call for passengers to enter. “I’ll call you when I’m in Osaka. See you next week!”
You knew she was contemplating whether to be a bother or not and insist on the conversation at hand, but she eventually conceded. “Bye!” she said cheerily. “And take photos this time, seriously! High quality ones while they’re on stage!”
“I’ve got my camera with me, don’t worry.”
“And try to get a few snaps on… you know .”
You rolled your eyes even as you smiled, both relieved and glad the mood had lifted between you two. “I’m not taking pictures of Jimin and Jungkook’s legs. Or sweaty necks and exposed foreheads. Or crotch silhouettes,” you added quickly, a grimace manifesting on your face.
“What about making those pictures my birthday and Christmas gift combined? Pretty please?”
“No.”
“Come on, (Y/N)! You have the kind of opportunity most fangirls would kill a man for! Or two!”
“Pervert.”
“Okay, okay,” she said, laughing. “Scratch the other stuff. Just give me one photo of Jungkook and Jimin’s thighs each. No, actually, if you can squeeze in both into one single picture--”
“No,” you said as you bit down a laughter of your own. “I’ll send you as many pictures as I’m allowed, but nothing weird.”
“Damn it.”
“Seriously, Se-Eun,” you said as you grabbed your purse and jogged out of the lounge area. “I have to go now.”
“Yeah, I can hear the announcer,” she said. “Have fun in Japan, (Y/N). Seriously, you need it. I don’t want to see your under-eye bags ever again. It doesn’t fit someone as rich as you.”
You entered the line of people heading into the drawbridge connecting the airplane with the airport. “Thanks. Or something along that line.”
“By the way, if you find your way to an anime and manga store--”
“I’ll buy you as much merch as I can carry,” you said with a smile.
“Do you remember my favorite characters?”
“How can I not?” you asked as you tucked the phone between your cheek and your shoulder while rummaging your purse for ticket and passport. “A blonde cyborg, that dude in blue uniform who can make fire by snapping his fingers and that one guy from that titan show. And there’s that white-haired boy with some weird arm as well as that other white-haired boy who eats people.”
The last made the male flight attendant give you an obvious deep frown, but as soon as he read your name and spotted your first class ticket, he pretended as if nothing had happened. And so did you - things were simpler that way.
“You suck,” she said with a giggle. “But if you somehow can manage to figure out who they all are despite your obvious cluelessness, I won’t protest.”
“I know them when I see them,” you said defensively. The flight attendant gave you back your ticket and passport and you started into the drawbridge. “I’m literally boarding the plane right now, though, so I’m going to have to hang up.”
“Take care! And send the pictures as soon as you can!”
“I will. See you in a week, Se-Eun.”
Two hours later, you arrived at Kansai International Airport. You found yourself scratching your arm an awful lot during the time it took you to get to your hotel, which was a five-star establishment located in central Osaka and not even twenty minutes away from the arena Jungkook was performing at. Yet, excitement and, perhaps most importantly, a sense of joyous wonder was building inside your stomach with each step you took in this new environment.
It felt nice blending into society for once, neither the taxi driver nor the woman in the hotel lobby taking you for anything other than a young citizen. Wealthy, obviously, and someone unfamiliar with the area, but thanks to years of rigorous tutoring, you didn’t even have an accent. People didn’t look twice at you, and you weren’t getting hounded by paparazzi. You therefore felt quite confident journeying out, even by yourself, after first getting settled in the hotel.
Osaka was a concrete jungle with various patches of green in the shape of obviously man-designed parks, and the climate wasn’t much different from Seoul’s. Also, since you mastered the language, there wasn’t much of a mystery wandering around discovering. Yet, the charm of being a tourist during a period that wasn’t a holiday or a usual time for students to have time off lingered with you, and as you decided to have late lunch at a cheap, automatized ramen shop, you felt a sort of profound happiness at the simplicity of it all. The kind no amount of money in the whole world could buy. It was the calm before the storm.
One day left until May 30th.
The remainder of Monday was dedicated to browsing the rest of the area nearest the hotel and taking photos of the urban environment. You managed to find a hobby shop dedicated for anime merchandise and bought dolls and small figurines for Se-Eun before heading back, and made a quick detour to a corner shop for some snacks as well. All your tension had melted away after a hot shower, and you were relaxing on your bed in a thick bathrobe two sizes too large, watching TV for hours upon hours. You had meant to change into your pajamas, but accidentally fell asleep before you could bring yourself to.
And briefly, you floated in a darkness where no real life drama could harm you.
The buzzing in the other end of the room was what jolted you awake. Stiffly, you scrambled out of bed and toward the desk you had put your phone to charge upon before showering, and blinked rapidly to regain your vision. It was surprisingly bright outside, but you didn’t spend much brainpower considering it.
Not until you, half-blind, raised your phone to your ear and heard Jungkook’s voice slip through the line.
“Morning, (Y/N).”
“‘Morning’?” you exclaimed. “You must be kidding me.”
“Why would I?” he asked, the confusion in his voice quickly sharpening into alarm. “Shit, don’t tell me you’ve missed your plane!”
“No!” you amended hastily. “No, I actually came here yesterday. Decided to take an additional day--,” or five, “--off. I just… I must have fallen asleep. Didn’t wake up until now.”
“Well,” said Jungkook, his tone deflating. “Thanks for terrifying me. I almost thought you weren’t going to come.”
His concern made you smile, ever so slightly. “No problem.”
“Anyways,” he began, his voice trembling with anticipation and joy with each passing word. “We’ll start rehearsing at eight-thirty. It’ll mostly be a rundown to see how things work technically, and we probably won’t be doing the concert in its whole until sometime after lunch. You can come anytime you want - I’ve told the manager-hyungs you’re coming, so you should have no trouble getting in.”
“Alright,” you said. “I’ll get there in an hour or two.”
“Great. And thanks again for coming.” He paused. “You… you have no idea how much it means to me. Especially considering how bad our relationship used to be. I cannot thank you enough.”
“Don’t get all soft on me now,” you reprimanded gently, your heart aching at the genuine nature of his sentence. “Let’s celebrate and get sentimental afterwards instead. Who knows - I might just hate the show.”
Jungkook chuckled and his voice turned normal. “I’ll make sure you don’t.”
After telling you some final details surrounding the preparations for the concert, you calmly got ready for the day. You weren’t going to rush, even though a part of you direly wanted to see Jungkook as soon as possible.
Because there was another part of you, more dominant than the former, that dreaded seeing him with Park Yi-Jae.
It was nearing your “an hour or two” when you finally exited the cab outside Osaka-Jo Hall. There were a few girls waiting at the entrance already, chattering happily about the concert and the members of BTS. You were quick to put on a mouth mask to conceal your identity, and wandered up to where they stood, wary of the curious glances they sent you when you tried the glass doors. A moment of general awkwardness filled the area when you discovered that you weren’t able to get in, and you felt your cheeks grow warm underneath your mask as you texted Jungkook that you were there. His reply came surprisingly quickly.
*10.01 - Walk along the eastern side of the arena until you see a pair of metal doors with green and white writing on them. Someone will come get you.*
You did as instructed, and soon disappeared out of range from the girls’ vision. It wasn’t long until you found double doors that matched Jungkook’s description, and you rolled your eyes when you read what it said: machine room, beware! You doubted it was there “someone” would come to find you, and instead continued along the wide, asphalt path that led around the arena. Eventually, you saw another pair of metal doors that were also slightly ajar. The sign on the doors read: staff only. Glad that you had decided to follow your instinct - or logic - you approached them, ready to call Jungkook should it be necessary for him to confirm your identity - when a familiar face poked out between the doors.
“Kim Sejin!” you said with a surprised smile. “I expected someone else!”
“I can see that,” said Sejin as he returned your smile. “How are you?”
He pushed up the door for you to enter, and quickly shut it after you had. You found yourself standing in a slim, windowless corridor that seemed to stretch endlessly in two directions. The air smelled of rubber and cool concrete, and the fluorescent lights that traveled across the gray ceiling, parallel to a white line across the floor, gave off a pale, eggshell-colored illumination.
“I’ve had better days,” you said as you gingerly rubbed your neck. You had definitely not slept the way you used to. “But I’m far too excited for Jungkook to be bothered.”
Sejin gestured for you to follow him down one end of the passageway. He didn’t look half as tired as he used to, and you fleetingly wondered whether you consequently looked worse than you had when you first met him. If Sejin noticed, he didn’t mention it, at least. “I can’t believe you succeeded, (Y/F/N),” he told you. “I’d say Jungkook is just as good as he used to be, if not better! In three months, no less! It’s a miracle.” He shook his head. “No, you’re a miracle. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t been there to help the kid.”
His words moved you, but you tried to shrug it off. “It was my fault he ended up in an accident,” you said, grimacing at the bitter tone. “The least I could do was to help him get back on his feet.”
“Still, he owes you a lot. I do, too, since I would have probably lost my job if Jungkook never recovered.”
Your eyes widened at this. “Oh, he hasn’t recovered,” you said, causing Sejin to furrow his brows. “We tried that memory thing you told me about, but it didn’t really work out. So, Jungkook decided to practice and relearn everything he’s forgotten.”
“In a little more than three months?” asked Sejin incredulously.
“Probably in less than that.”
“Unbelievable,” muttered Sejin as he grasped his forehead. “I… I thought for sure he was--” He cut himself off, and his frown deepened as he scrutinized you briefly. “No, he’s definitely changed. I can’t deny it.”
You averted your gaze. There was a knowing in the man’s eyes that you did not feel comfortable addressing.
Mostly, because you weren’t sure if you even could.
“I was wondering,” you began instead, hoping to steer the conversation down another path, “if I could take some photos during the concert… and perhaps even before? Backstage, pre-show things.”
The western wall suddenly opened up to a set of stairs leading up and, judging by the direction, toward the center of the arena. “I’ll have to call the director about backstage things,” said Sejin as he started up the steps. “But since I’m guessing you have no reason to use the pictures for monetary gain, it should be fine. Take as many as you’d like.”
You followed him. “Thank you. And no, I won’t sell them.” However, you would share them with Se-Eun.
“Good.”
The stairs led to a heavy door that swung open to reveal another seemingly endless corridor. However, this one was wider and had windows that showed the outside, and faint music periodically permeated the walls. Sejin led you onward, and greeted passing staff in a set of polite but repetitive Japanese sentences, which you mimicked. The staff didn’t take any special notice of you, and so you took it as a sign that you could take off your mouth mask.
The music grew louder with each step you took, and it wasn’t long until you recognized it.
“My blood, sweat and tears…”
You felt a shiver run down your spine. Not out of fear or concern, but out of remembering the decisive evening in February when you first had heard those lyrics.
This was it. This was the beginning of the end.
By the time you and Sejin exited onto the empty stands in the eastern side of Osaka-Jo Hall, the music was blasting. Sejin left you to yourself after a female personnel had approached the two of you hesitantly, wishing to speak with the manager about something backstage. He apologized for having to leave so abruptly, but you assured him that you would be fine. Frankly, he could have departed without you even noticing.
Because there were seven male figures dancing in the center of the brightly lit stage that you couldn’t tear your eyes off. Or to be more specific, the one dressed in gray sweatpants, a loose white t-shirt and yellow brand boots.
Jeon Jungkook.
Last time you had seen him dance, you had honestly been appalled. Not purely because he had been bad, but because you had once seen him dance like there was not even a thought in his head other than the stage and the audience and the rhythm of the beat. While performing, on stage, Jungkook had been a completely different person--no, he had transformed into a different being altogether, something more than just human. His singing and dancing had weaved a spell so utterly intricate and appealing, you had been beyond shocked, beyond simply attracted or intrigued.
You had thought him beautiful. For the first time in your life, you had looked upon another human being with nothing but pure, unadulterated wonder. His stage presence had practically swept you off your feet and punched you in the guts at the same time.
And it was just that sensation that recurred when you watched Jungkook dance on stage for the second time.
You almost had to sit down as you stared at him. He had no need for fancy clothes or makeup or stylized hair. It was refreshing, actually, seeing him in comfortable clothes, face bare, dancing as if though nothing else truly mattered. His moves oscillated constantly between the calm assuredness of practice and the fiery intensity of his will and passion, though that in turn created a sort of balance that was absolutely captivating. It rendered you wordless.
You could watch Jeon Jungkook dance for ages, but then, that wasn’t what you were there for.
None of the seven members of BTS noticed you even as they finished the song and the stage director shouted that they needed to go through the song routine again. The music restarted, and you began uncovering your camera. You snapped a few shots - mindful, of course, of the flash setting, which you shut off before you started taking photos - as you approached the stage. Unwittingly, you managed to capture a few images where members exposed a strip of naked skin either around their midsection or their neck and shoulder area, and decided to keep them a secret from Se-Eun until you needed to cheer her up some extra. Other than that, you kept the photographing to a minimum, and eventually sank down onto one of the many plastic seats, your eyes still glued onto the dancing guys.
“(Y/F/N)? Is that you?”
The blood ran cold through your system. You slowly, very slowly, craned your neck backwards, and despite having heard her voice, despite reason telling you that she was very much present, you had to muster every ounce of self-control as not to jolt in shock when she entered your vision.
“Park Yi-Jae,” you said with a smile that tasted like ash and brackish water. “Nice to see you.”
Park Yi-Jae had stopped mid-stride, and turned fully toward you, her eyes round with genuine surprise. She was wearing an oversized, pink hoodie that made her delicate, bare legs look even thinner by comparison, and unpocketed her phone from the front of her white jeans shorts before taking the seat next to you. The air suddenly smelled like strawberry candy and hairspray.
“Likewise!” chirped Yi-Jae as she beamed at you. “But when did you get here? I didn’t even know you’d come!”
She ran her fingers through now long, straightened blonde hair, which you took as a sign of nervousness. Her nails were meticulously polished and cut, and jewelry dangled from her ears and tiny wrists. You tried not to look, but forced yourself to search for it - and you found it. Draped around her pale neck was the necklace you had bought for Jungkook’s graduation. Immediately, reflexively, you braced yourself for the immense agony of being reminded, of seeing the betrayal, of reliving the wound Jungkook had inflicted upon you that fateful February night.
But instead of pain, all you felt was emptiness.
“Oh, I arrived yesterday,” you told her, your voice completely light and normal. You sounded glad, really - somehow - while you strained to be heard over the music. “Jungkook invited me to come almost a month ago.”
“Did he?” Her smile remained on her face. “Well, I’m so happy to see you again - we didn’t exactly part on the best of terms.” She lowered her gaze ashamedly. “I was horrible toward you. I’m so sorry about that. I just… I was scared to lose him and hurt. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
Yi-Jae both looked and sounded honest. You didn’t know if you believed her, but you knew you had to appear as if though you did. If only to keep the conversation at a reasonable level. “Of course not,” you said sympathetically. “I get it, it must have been horrible hearing him say what he said.”
“Yes, but still…” She touched her bracelet, her eyes remaining downcast. “I’m sorry. I threatened you like a madman and I even accused you of not caring about him. I honestly thought you only wanted to use him for your family business.”
“But why would you think that?” you asked carefully, making sure your voice was calm and reassuring. It wasn’t difficult, seeing as you weren’t angry or annoyed at all. In fact, you felt absolutely nothing while talking to Yi-Jae. Someone could have shot you in the leg and you wouldn’t even have flinched.
You would have been terrified of yourself, but not even fear could overcome the total and complete numbness infiltrating your emotional state just then.
Yi-Jae glanced up at stage, where the members of BTS were still dancing. “Jungkookie told me a lot of things about you that weren’t exactly… flattering. I allowed that to cloud my judgement when I was angry with you, which was wrong in the first place.” Her eyes flitted nervously over to yours before quickly darting away again. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing Jungkook back to us and the way he almost used to be.”
This piqued your interest. So not only Sejin had noticed that something was different with Jungkook.
“There’s no need apologizing,” you said while you mused over what she had said. The horrifying feeling of emotional voidness was still present inside you, like a vile, corrupting sickness that no medicine or treatment in the world could cure. It was worse than jealousy, a hundred times worse, because it felt almost as if it were a different person talking. As if you were merely watching yourself, unable to do anything. “I completely understand you. I would have behaved the same in your shoes.”
A lie. An utter, utter lie. Fortunately, Yi-Jae didn’t seem to notice that.
“Thank you so much for accepting my apology,” she said as her eyes shifted back toward yours. She smiled. “I’d like us to be friends, (Y/N), if I can call you that.”
You blinked. “Excuse me?” you wondered.
Yi-Jae giggled. “I know we didn’t exactly start off right,” she replied, “but I still think we can make it work. We’re both tied to the same guy, and I don’t want to make this a case where he has to choose either you or me.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, your eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why would he have to choose? He loves you.”
Again, where you anticipated pain, there was nothing. You lifted your hand to rub your throat and tried to discreetly find your pulse. It was steady, pounding in an even rhythm, strong and alive.
Why, then, did you feel as if you were buried three feet under ground?
“Ah, yes,” she said with a short laughter. “But still. I love him too much to see him have to struggle between me and his friends. You are just friends, right?”
It took all your remaining willpower not to laugh. It would have been a cold, harsh laughter, but a laughter nevertheless. So, that’s what her point with the conversation was. Yet, you couldn’t confront her about it, not as long as you wanted to be friendly with her for Jungkook’s sake… which meant you could potentially be keeping silent about it until she and Jungkook died, what with the lie you had told Jungkook regarding the engagement ring you had once worn.
Shoot.
“Yeah,” you said nonchalantly. “That idiot is lucky to have someone who cares so much about his well-being as you.”
You managed to not sound sarcastic, but it was only barely. Yi-Jae must have sensed it, too, but she kept up appearances. “Thank you, (Y/N),” she said with a bright smile. “Let’s make a lot of good memories together. Just wait, in five or ten years, we’ll all be gathered around someone��s dinner table and just laugh at this.”
You felt your mouth move into a stiff smile. “Yup,” you replied. “It’ll all be like a bad dream.”
Yi-Jae nodded, and opened her mouth to respond when someone interrupted her. You hadn’t noticed the music stopping for a brief water break, even less the tall, sweaty guy regarding the two of you where you sat.
“(Y/N)!”
You looked in the direction of his voice and spotted Jungkook standing a few dozen rows away. Around him, the six remaining members of BTS were scattered across the seats, faces sweaty. They raised their hands wearily and called out a few greetings, which you returned with a smile. Yoongi was the only one who kept looking up at you after the guys resumed talking among themselves, except for Jungkook, who was grinning right at you.
“There you are!” he shouted. “I was calling you for the third time just now! Why couldn’t you send me a text that you were here? I almost thought you had been kidnapped!”
Warmth filled your chest, but it was only a spark, a weak flame, compared to what you used to feel when Jungkook smiled at you. You truly were emotionally injured, you fleetingly acknowledged as you rolled your eyes at him. “I thought you had eyes, you idiot!” you called back. “It’s not like I’m sitting right in front of you. Wait, but I am!”
“I’m actually getting my eyes checked soon,” he responded loudly, a chuckle following afterward.
“It’s probably all that gaming, you know!”
Jungkook shrugged, but his grin widened. You tried to discern any kind of unease or awkwardness in his posture or tone over the fact that you were sitting with his girlfriend, but he seemed unmoved.
He was moving on.
While chugging his water bottle, he returned focus to his hyungs. Yoongi, however, was still sending occasional glances your way, none of which you were able to interpret, yet you smiled at him to assure him you were alright. Another lie, of course. You were all but alright.
“Do you and Yoongi-oppa have something going on or…?”
Your jaw slackened, and you stared incredulously at Yi-Jae. “What?” you exclaimed, unable to dampen your shock. “Of course not!”
Yi-Jae tapped a finger against her chin and smiled apologetically at you. “Sorry, it just looked a little suspicious.” She leaned closer, the smell of her strawberry perfume infiltrating your nose even more. “Come on, we’re friends now. You can tell me.”
You were tempted to tell her very firmly that friendships didn’t work like that, and even more so the prospect of just punching her straight across the jaw. But you managed to restrain your impulses, and merely shook your head. “No, really,” you said as you discreetly moved away from her. “There’s nothing between him, or anyone else in the group, and me. Trust me - I couldn’t lie to save myself even."
Now, that might have been an exaggeration. You could definitely lie, only not to people who knew you somewhat. Yi-Jae seemed skeptical, but she let it go, flashing you another brilliant, sweet smile you had seen in CFs and posters so many other times. “Okay, but you’re not interested in any of them or so?” she asked gently.
“No,” you said, doing your best not to grit your teeth. “I’m not interested in anyone at the moment. University is work enough already.”
Yi-Jae giggled, but she sounded almost too content when she replied. “That’s unfortunate,” she said as she let out a wistful huff of air, her eyes locking onto Jungkook’s back. “I wouldn’t know what I would do without my honey.”
You guessed it was supposed to sound romantic, and perhaps it was. But you couldn’t even imagine having to depend on another person, especially your significant other, to that point. If the roles had been reversed, you wouldn’t have been able to handle an overbearing partner.
But then, you weren’t particularly successful in the dating realm, were you?
Perhaps a girl like Yi-Jae was all that guys wanted. Pretty, petite and pure - the perfect combination.
“Let’s do ‘Not Today’!” A man wearing glasses and a lightweight headset, presumably the stage or concert director, shouted instructions from stage to people in the area. “Performers, please take your starting positions!”
Jungkook gave you and Yi-Jae a quick smile over his shoulder and saluted before following his hyungs back up to the stage. You waved back, not really feeling like you wanted - or could - smile. Yi-Jae called out to him, however.
“Fighting!”
A whole hour passed before you excused yourself from Yi-Jae’s company. She didn’t seem to mind, as she had been talking to and laughing with someone on her phone for the last thirty minutes or so. Hoping Jungkook would be too absorbed into the rehearsals, you hurriedly left the same way you had come. Fresh air, or really anything that didn’t reek of candy and strawberry, was something you had run a shortage of, and you were practically panting when you found your way to a small lounge area and shut yourself in. You had barely sank down onto a worn, leather armchair when you felt the tears prickling behind your eyes.
“No!” you grunted as you balled your hands into fists. “Don’t you freaking cry now. You can’t break just yet, not until--” Your voice broke, painfully so.
You shook your head and closed your eyes, refusing to give in to the urge of relinquishing control - control was all you had left to cling onto, at least until after Jungkook’s concert. All this time, you had been nothing but unyielding in your belief, your conviction that you were doing the right thing both for you and Jungkook and everyone involved. You couldn’t just let more than three months of hard work slip through your fingers, not when you were so close to the freaking finishing line.
After the concert, Jungkook would have proved his worth as an idol again. He would be able to continue pursue his career - his childhood dream - together with a circle of people you now knew supported him more than you had ever been able to do. His hyungs: Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok - Jungkook would be in good hands continuing forward. And what his band members might not be able to provide for him, he could always find in Yi-Jae.
He had his life back together now. You had fixed the damage caused by his accident, which in turn kind of had occurred because of you. Your debt was paid, your duty was done - you could walk away from Jungkook now with a smile on your face and a straight back. He was glad, everyone around him was glad, and his life was going to continue where it abruptly ended due to his amnesia. It was all you had ever wanted when you first decided to help Jungkook.
Yet why did your chest feel so hollow? Why did your eyes yearn to bleed saltwater? Why did you want to punch something until you couldn’t punch something ever again?
Why were you being so difficult when you desired nothing but Jungkook to be happy?
You had kept your eyes close while struggling with your thoughts, and before you knew it, you had fallen asleep, exhausted still from the travel yesterday. It was your furiously vibrating jacket pocket that later roused you, causing you to shoot up from the armchair.
“Yes?” you answered.
“(Y/N)?” Jungkook let out a loud, exasperated exhale. “Where have you been? Yi-Jae said she hasn’t seen you since around lunch time! It’s an hour minutes before the show!”
“I’m on my way,” you said as you hurried out of the room. You saw staff running in all different kinds of directions and scratched your nose. “Uh, where am I supposed to go?”
“I’m in one of the private changing rooms for the performers. Wait where you are - I’ll send a manager to bring you.”
“I can just ask around,” you said as you started hesitantly toward a young woman, who was heading in the opposite direction.
“You know Japanese?”
“I know English, Chinese and a little French, too.”
He snorted. “I should have known. Well then, if you’re nearby the arena, it shouldn’t take you long to find me.”
You signaled for the woman’s attention, and her eyes found yours. “Alright,” you said rapidly. “I’m hanging up. See you in a bit.”
After some explaining, the woman was kind enough to show you all the way to the green room, where you found Namjoon, Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung waiting in each foldable plastic chair, phones in hand. They had all been primped up from head to toe, similarly to when you had seen them on stage the first time, and you knew instinctively that you had a golden opportunity to take a picture of them when they were still unaware yet still nearly photoshop perfect. However, and despite almost hearing Se-Eun beg for you to do it, you weren’t just going to snap a photo of someone - even someone as famous and comfortable with cameras like BTS - without them knowing about it.
“Hi,” you said as you entered the green room, which wasn’t particularly green. It was concrete, much like the rest of the building and Osaka altogether, and smelled strongly of hairspray, deodorant and lotion.
Jimin, who had been weighing himself on the two back legs of the chair, responded fastest. “(Y/N)!” he blurted as he sat properly. “Where have you been? You missed lunch.”
“There should be some left,” said Namjoon as he gestured toward a corridor that started in the other end of the green room. “In the second room, next to all the water bottles.”
“I’m not hungry,” you said truthfully, though you gave both of them a grateful smile for considering you might be. “Where are the rest?”
“Yoongi and Hoseok are still getting their makeup done,” said Seokjin as he lifted his gaze from the phone briefly to meet yours. “Jungkook is fixing some clothing issue.”
“He lost more weight than he should have,” said Taehyung, a strain to his cheek as he spoke. He then pointed down the same corridor Namjoon had indicated earlier. “You’ll find him third door to the left.”
“Thank you,” you told Taehyung, who nodded curtly in response. “By the way,” you added hastily as you picked up your camera. “Can I take some photos of you? It’s for a friend.”
“The shy ones always say that,” said Seokjin though he straightened his posture. “But sure.”
“Wait,” said Jimin as he checked his reflection in the screen of his phone. “It’s bad lighting in here, actually.” He grimaced.
“It’s just a normal picture,” you assured him quickly.
That didn’t seem to calm Jimin, or in fact anyone of them down. You had to take at least ten pictures until all four of them were satisfied, since if one of them complained, another one complained at the next picture you snapped. When they were all content, Hoseok appeared from the corridor and insisted on being a part of the suddenly lengthy photoshoot. Twenty pictures later, all five of them disagreed on the picture in question, and so, with a sigh, you left the camera with Taehyung so that you at least could leave.
“Jungkook?” You knocked on the third door to the left, just as Taehyung had told you. “You in there?”
“Yeah, come in.”
Jungkook was looking himself up and down in a floor-to-ceiling mirror. His brown hair was fashionably tousled, and he was wearing enough makeup to even cover the slight scar he had on his left cheek. There were titanium in his ears and around his fingers, and he was wearing a red bomber jacket over a turquoise shirt with print. His legs were wrapped in tight, tight black denim, and he wore brand sneakers to complete his look.
“Hey,” he said as his eyes found yours through the mirror.
You pushed past a movable clothes rack that was draped with various expensive-looking shirts and jackets. “No white t-shirt? What happened?”
Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint you,” he replied as he straightened the collar of his shirt. “Where the hell were you by the way? I searched everywhere for you.”
“I was in a nearby shopping mall,” you lied as you did your best not to scratch your arm. “I’m actually feeling a little sick. I don’t know if I’ll be able to be here for the whole concert.”
Jungkook spun around. “You have to be,” he said, desperation clear in his tone. He approached you and put his hands on each of your shoulders. “Do you need some aspirin? Water? Have you actually eaten lunch?
“No,” you admitted as you averted your gaze. You couldn’t look into his eyes when he was as close as he currently was. The smell of him, mixed as always with soap, was enough to make you want to just lean your head against his chest and breathe it in.
“You need to take care of yourself, (Y/N).”
“As do you,” you said while studying the floor. “Taehyung told me you lost more than just five kilos.”
“Almost nine,” said Jungkook quietly.
You would have liked to look into his eyes to bring a little more weight to your sentence as you responded. “Seriously, don’t be an idiot. Your fans love you for what you do and who you are, and I believe they would like you to be healthy before all. So do that. Because if you don’t take care of your health, who will?”
“You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d almost say you were concerned about me.”
You felt your lips tug into a reluctant smile. “Of course I am. I’m your friend, Jungkook. Why wouldn’t I care about your well-being?”
“Why then, won’t you look into my eyes?”
You inhaled deeply before raising your chin. Jungkook was tall, not as tall as Namjoon or Jung-Hyun, but he was tall enough for you to have to strain to look up at him, especially now that you were standing so closely together. He wore a soft expression on his face, his familiar brown eyes filling you with warmth - and you almost cried. The voidness that had numbed your feelings earlier, crept back across your senses with a ferociousness you now came to appreciate while you fought back your traitorous tears. You wouldn’t look away, however. You kept gazing up at Jungkook, hoping he couldn’t see how difficult this really was for you while you battled with your feelings.
“(Y/N)...” began Jungkook carefully, his voice low and hesitant.
“Forty-five minutes left until the show!” an unfamiliar voice called out from the corridor, cutting off Jungkook in whatever it was he had meant to say.
“Where’s Yi-Jae?” you asked as you stepped away from him. The weight of his palms on your shoulders remained, like imprints in the sand. “Shouldn’t she also be here to support you?”
“She’s in the bathroom and has been for a while now,” said Jungkook, his tone neutral. “She ate some bad salmon. Sejin-hyung caught it too.”
“Guess I should be glad I didn’t stay for lunch,” you muttered. “I love salmon.”
“Are you sure you don’t want some aspirin or something?”
You shook your head. “I’ll manage. And pills make me sleepy, anyways.”
Jungkook pulled up his phone from the bomber jacket - since he probably couldn’t even fit a coin in his pants - and held it out to you. “Could you take a picture of me and the hyungs so I can send it to my parents?”
“Sure,” you said, even though you lifted your eyebrows in surprise. You tapped in the code, 1024, yet nothing happened. “Did you change the password?” you asked.
“Sorry, I forgot about that. It’s 1738.” He glanced at his reflection in the mirror again, adjusting his sleeves and his hair before turning back toward you, and pointed ahead. “Let’s go.”
You hung your purse over the clothes rack before heading out. Laughter could be heard all the way to the green room where now all seven members of BTS were visually ready for the concert. The laughter came from Seokjin and Jimin, who was watching Taehyung clutching your camera as if it were his own and taking pictures of all the members while shouting random English words. Taehyung had seemed to gotten really into character while he forced Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi to pose differently, using both chairs and the various equipment lying nearby. You could hear Jungkook sigh, but when you looked up at him, he was grinning as widely as the other guys.
“Come here,” ordered Jungkook, causing everyone to look at him. “(Y/N) is taking a group photo of us.”
“Group photo?” said Taehyung in heavily accented English. He said it in a confused way, as if he himself hadn’t understood what he just had said, which caused an upheaval among the others.
“Yeah,” said Jungkook as he stifled a laughter. The others didn’t. “Come here, all of you.”
You had to unlock Jungkook’s phone twice before all six of his hyungs finally obeyed him. Perhaps, if it were another day, or another life, you might have joined in on the laughter and found it funny how Jungkook spoke without even the slightest honorifics while ordering the members around, but you knew this would be the end. And so, it was with a pensive smile that you took the photos.
When you were finished, the seven guys flocked around you to browse through the images, several of which would have belonged in a comedy sketch. They settled down after that, though if it were because of nerves or because they needed to save their energy, you didn’t know. Taehyung returned your camera to you before he went to stretch together with Hoseok. You unfolded a chair, too, and sank down on it as Jungkook patted you on your arm.
“I’ll be right back,” he told you. “If anyone needs me, I’m in the bathroom.”
You nodded. “Okay.”
“And (Y/N)...” His fingers squeezed around your bicep gently. “Thank you, again, for everything. You really are the best kind of friend I could have ever asked for.”
“Save the sentimental stuff until after the concert,” you said as you struggled against the burning in your eyes. “Who knows what will happen. Break a leg, by the way.”
Jungkook chuckled as he left you. “Heartless,” he muttered over his shoulder.
It wasn’t until he had left that you realized you were still holding Jungkook’s phone. Remembering the weird caller ID your phone number had according to practically everyone, you felt your curiosity increase exponentially with each passing second. You tried to resist the urge, knowing that you had no right to be browsing around Jungkook’s phone just because he had told you the password. Yet, when you realized that this would be your final chance to find out, you decided to sneak a peek. How dangerous could it be to just snoop around one last time and for something as innocent as a caller ID? Not at all, you reckoned.
You believed wrong.
What you thought would have been the last time you would directly interact with something connected to Jungkook for your own sake turned horribly wrong. For when you found your number in Jungkook’s contact list, you couldn’t believe what you were reading. You bolted up the chair with enough force to startle everyone in the green room with you, including the members of BTS. Yoongi’s gaze weighed especially hard upon your neck as you bolted toward the dressing room you had left your purse in, but you ignored everyone. Even as Hoseok called after you, concern in his voice, you rendered yourself deaf. All you knew was that you had to get out of there before--
“(Y/N)! What’s going on? Did something happen to your father again?”
You froze. You wished you hadn’t, you wished you had been able to sprint out of the dressing room and merely push past the person standing behind you just then, but you couldn���t. You were petrified.
“(Y/N)? Can you hear me?”
His steps thudded across the floor, hasty, worried. Yet it was you who were filled with apprehension after Jungkook forced you to turn around and look at him, hot tears running down your face.
For Jungkook fell to the floor, gripping his head with both his hands until his knuckles whitened.
Seconds, days, hours, years - it was all arbitrary. Time felt as if it had ceased, yet simultaneously ran faster than ever. People, both familiar and unfamiliar, gradually filled the doorway to stare at you and Jungkook. Nobody dared step over the threshold. Not even Jungkook’s hyungs moved when they heard him grunt and groan in agony where he was crumpled onto the floor.
All you heard were your own heartbeats. Fluttery, light, as if to compensate for the unmoving time. You wanted to help Jungkook, you wanted to stop his suffering no matter the cost.
But that was not something you could do. Not when you were the cause of it.
Eons could have passed - or a few milliseconds. But the amount of anger in Jungkook’s eyes as he looked up at you, mixed with the kind of cold scorn he had regarded you with the last five years, made you believe in the former. The way his lips formed into a thin line, the way he set his jaw, the way his brows were slightly furrowed - they were all a part of the Jungkook you had shared your latter teens with. They were all a part of what had made you despise him so much during the last couple of years.
They were all a part of the expression Jeon Jungkook had worn when he discovered you with Park Yi-Jae after the concert in Seoul that Sunday in February.
You couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. Instead, you darted out of the dressing room, the spectators parting like the Red Sea before you. Not even Yoongi’s slim dark eyes, which were brimming with sympathy, lent you any consolation as your walking turned into running and then sprinting.
Jungkook’s snarled after you, voice colder than ice. It lashed into your back, harder than a physical whip, almost making you trip. Yet despite the pain, your legs didn’t stop. You wouldn’t stop moving.
You didn’t know what would happen to either one of you if you stayed.
And so you continued, even as he repeated the sentence, the agony coursing throughout your body and your very soul doubling. Even as you felt his familiar brown eyes pierce into your back, like salt in open wounds. Even when you would have rather been torn apart by real weapons and bleed real blood.
Because nothing hurt as much as hearing Jeon Jungkook yelling after you with enough contempt, disappointment and disgust to poison the ground you walked on.
“Why the fuck did you lie to me, (Y/F/N)?”
#MCAF#Ao3#Wrienne#bts fic#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts jungkook#Jeon Jungkook/Reader#Characters:#Jeon Jungkook#Reader-Insert
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Hey yeah, hey
Hey yeah, hey
If you blow your finger
指切りげんまん ホラでも吹いたら
Let me drink a needle or anything monday
針でもなんでも 飲ませていただき monday
It doesn't matter if it's sunday
It doesn't matter if it's sunday
Mirror, mirror, number one in the world
鏡よ鏡よ この世で1番
Who will give me unchanging love
変わることのない 愛をくれるのは だれ
No need to ask cause it's my darling
No need to ask cause it's my darling
you are my last
わたしの最後はあなたがいい
Rather than spending time with you like this
あなたとこのままおサラバするより
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
You're better than three meals
三度の飯よりあんたがいいのよ
Shall I stay with you like this?
あんたとこのままおサラバするよか
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
Even so, sometimes my heart floats
それでも時々 浮つく my heart
Even if you die, it won't heal, I'll show you how to heal baby
死んでも治らな治してみせます baby
Yeah, I ain't nothin' but ya baby
Yeah, I ain't nothin' but ya baby
It's the first time I've realized that I've lost you
失って初めて気がつくなんて
I won't do that lame thing anymore goodbye
そんなダサいこと もうしたないのよ goodbye
Oh don't you ever say bye bye, yeah, yeah
Oh don't you ever say bye bye, yeah, yeah
you are my last
わたしの最後はあなたがいい
Rather than spending time with you like this
あなたとこのままおサラバするより
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
You're better than three meals
三度の飯よりあんたがいいのよ
Shall I stay with you like this?
あんたとこのままおサラバするよか
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
you are my last
わたしの最後はあなたがいい
Rather than spending time with you like this
あなたとこのままおサラバするより
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
You're better than three meals
三度の飯よりあんたがいいのよ
Shall I stay with you like this?
あんたとこのままおサラバするよか
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
I'd rather die
死ぬのがいいわ
Even so, my heart sometimes floats
それでも時々浮つく my heart
I don't need that lame thing anymore bye bye
そんなダサいのは もう要らないのよ bye bye
I'll always stick with ya my baby
I'll always stick with ya my baby
What?
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So... regarding Harry Potter content.
So listen. I'm still very much a kpop writer.
With a dash of Top Gun Maverick... and well whatever catches my interest at this moment in time.
However, I do acknowledge that for a long time I produced A LOT of HP content. And I've recently rewatched some and I'm slowly, SLOWLY getting back into it.
Don't worry KPop ain't going no where. But I think I have been away from HP enough that I've had a chance to miss it.
That being said, you might see me start easing HP content back into this platform again.
My old HP masterlist is fucked six ways from sunday and truthfully.... le sigh... it's gonna take forever to fix.
So for newer HP content, I'm thinking I'll just create a HP masterlist part two.
Sound good?
Also, what would you like to see?
I know so many of you have messaged, sent in asks and comments regarding stories such as the James Potter fic, A Deal With Cupid.
As well as the poly marauders era and so many others.
And I do plan to finish them. I just gotta reread, maybe edit and get my notebooks out and literally plan chapters out piece by piece to get me in the zone.
However, I would like to know.
What kind of HP content do you want to see from me?
Also, P.S. for my Kpop readers, Hobi's 40 chapter story is still in the works. I am currently writing it. I just don't want to start releasing chapters until I've completely finished it. Ok, love you.
Also, please enjoy my comfort character and may he bring you some healing.
Because you're perfect.
And I know you try very hard.
And you deserve love and healing.
And I'm proud of you.
Ok, bye.
Love, K
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Series.
September 21.
Hi friend,
I got to thinking...I still find myself thinking about my ex. I have memories and other things flash in my head. Things I wish to forget but also I never want them to leave me. So, I'm hoping I can chronically put the memories into this blog. I hope that placing them here will help me get rid of them and heal. So, here goes some of my secret and most intimate things I could ever share.
Meet.
It was a Thursday in 2015 when he and I started talking via text. March 5th to be exact. I remember that day and feeling giddy when I found his instagram and thought to myself, "Oh my God, he is so beautiful". We talked and I hoped it would continue each day. I don't remember when we agreed to meet but I remember the day we did meet. For context, I was in the last semester of my bachelor's program. I was 22 years old and never had been in a relationship, only a small handful of dates. We agreed to meet on Sunday, March 8 as soon as I finished my art appreciation homework. I was watching Once Upon A Time because I had just discovered it and I was severely hooked. I kept getting distracted and FINALLY finished my homework assignment. We decided to go to Starbucks. I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you yet, but I love rainy weather so much. Anyway, we met at the Starbucks within a good distance between us, of course, I got there first. I waited and decided to go inside and order a cup of coffee because he doesn't like it. So, I'm about to order and I feel something deep inside me say, "turn around". Right when I stopped talking about my order, I turned around to listen to that part of me, then he enters the doors. I swear on my life, Starbucks is so loud at times. At that moment, I heard nothing but pure silence and everything slowed. I saw him shake the rain off his coat as our eyes met. Then, again, something inside me said, "I want to only ever know him. I want no one else, just him". We said hi, I ordered my coffee, and we decided to go elsewhere to have our "meeting date". We hopped into his car and went to Main Event up the road. The entire time I felt this immense pressure to impress him and just show him that I could be everything he ever dreamed off. We sat and I TALKED AND TALKED. He just listened intently and stared at me to the point I felt so nervous I rambled and never let him speak. His eyes so big, soft, bright, and just smiling at me screaming, "I love him". The night ended and he drove me back to my car and we said our good-byes after 2.5-3 hours. I went home scared I ruined it but then he text me. After that, the rest is history.
I want to detail the first week of us meeting and the things I felt. So, i will share that and other things about my day. Keep an eye out for several posts a day.
I just wanted to say, I still hope that in some other alternate universe he is sitting by me in bed. Our children asleep in their bedrooms, happy, and safe in a beautiful house we built together and flourished with beautiful things and most importantly love. I hope that in that universe, we are immeasurably happy and deeply in love. I hope that version of us never messed things up like we did and that there was never anyone else. I hope that version of us gets to grow old sitting on the porch in our rocking chairs waiting for our grand babies to come visit us. I hope they are cuddling at night and wishing for time to slow so they could spend more time together. I pray that in this timeline, the past version of me enjoys their time, attention, love, cuddles, and kisses. I find myself presently missing those things. Time will help me heal and I'm excited that this will help me.
Thank you for listening.
Until tomorrow,
-APhDSomebody
#memories#exes suck#exes#heartache#heartbroken#heartbreak#-APhDSomebody#inner thoughts#journal#healing#self growth#self care#personal growth#mentalwellness#self healing#blogging#thoughts#thought blog#journaling#lgbtqia#lgbt representation#lgbtq community#lgbtqplus#heartstopper#babies#family#dreams#travel#endings#reflection
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You don't need to know this but I'm gonna tell you anyway because I'm annoying. I got more work dumped on me on Sunday. I mean seriously SUNDAY😭😭. I hate my professor's. I just got all the work done and now more 😢. What if threaten them with bluey???😏 Speaking of whom 1000 years old huh, well he must be very mature and wise and experienced if you know what I mean. And he gave her his scent 🥺. The first time I've been jealous of Priscilla, I think. The butch got that precious gift which anybody would cherish and used it against him. That was really sad for me. Rose's and lavender are classic ❤. Lovely Nat, She get's to be all kinds of mad. It's understandable, if I came to know that one of my friends were on the verge Dying and didn't tell me, I'd be crushed. Oh and can I congratulate her on the engagement 🥳🥳. Nat and Bruce forever!!! Y/n getting husband fever is so damn cute but I don't think her and loki should get married too soon. He just got out of a very toxic marriage. I think he should give it time before getting married again. Also why you gotta this? Every single chapter's last line gives me stress. You're gonna give me a heart attack miss and I think i wouldn't mind 😂. Bye bye, I'll go read the next chapter now. I'm berry excited.😁
🧁
I definitely love hearing from you and your life. Not just the comments you send about the chapters 💚 That sucks that they did it to you on Sunday..it's supposed to be our day 😖
He's definitely experienced 😌😌😏
And yes he gave Priscilla something he thought would impress her, he gave y/n the essence he knew she'd cherish.
And yes absolutely right, they need to heal and get to a place where the hurt from their individual past wouldn't interfere 💚
Excited that you are excited. Hoping the workload gets easier 💙
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thin
sunday 19th june 2022 7.52pm
im starting my journey, properly. ive been cutting my calories for a few days now, 12 days to be exact. a bit about me is, on here im gonna go by lauriana, im 15 and pretty thin already. i used to have a super fast metabolism and was super active and fit. but two summers ago, one of my friends starting starving herself, and i starting doing it as well. i was already so thin, but got thinner and thinner as well as messing my metabolism up. later in the year physically, i healed. but mentally, i could never quite do it. now, 1 and a half years later, im starting again. it feels like whatever i eat i feel like my stomach gets to full. the past 12 days its been hard, ive had around 900 calories per day. my best day was the second day, 8th june, i had 500 cals, the worst day was the 15th of june, i had 1800. i felt so horrible after and tried to make myself purge. i was so close, but mentally i couldnt do it. its hard because i have a pretty full on job. i go to school for 35 hours a week, as well as working twenty. i work as a kitchen hand, i love working and standing on my feet for 5 hours on most days must help me stay thin right? sometimes i use that to justify my eating, but i have no clue if it actually is burning calories. sometimes when i stand up i feel dizzy, or things go black. but its never enough, its not just about being skinny, i want to be seen and heard. i want to go live in the hospital and everyone to worry and care about me. i want too look, feel and be sick. there are people who used to care, who dont anymore. i want them to think of me and wonder if there is more they couldve done. i want them to feel guilty for leaving me and worry about me. i want to be skinny and i want to look beautiful and feel happy and confident. i want to be the skinniest thinnest girl in every photo. i want everyone to see me as inspiration and a goal. i want people to ask what i ate today so i can find new ways and cover ups on what i “ate” or why im not eating. so this is my new journey, my new project. i dont have scales so im not sure how much i currently weigh, but im hopefully going to buy some soon. my gw is 40kg (88 pounds), ugw 35kgs (77 pounds). ill update when i can, and i hope i have some people who i can take on this journey with.
bye! ily
8.20pm
#proana#tw#tw ed vent#ed#eating#pr0 ana diary#an0rex1a#anorexia#tw ed#skinny#thin#diet#calorie#caloric restriction#weight#disordered eating thoughts
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Hi dad 😌 , hope you are doing well 💓 , my surgery is on Sunday . Hope everything will be fine and I love you ,mom , your fics and all my siblings anons. Writing songs and playing guitar and piano is healing my inner child. I am learning to play the ukulele now. I hope you are doing good. Stay safe and healthy dad. Bye
Lunatic 😁
hey lunatic me sweet love ❤️
I'm so so proud of you baby and mom is proud of you too...
I'm on me way to surge now but it nothing big so don't worry ❤️
we love you too lunatic and Candice as well... she taking good care of you♥️♥️
love you tons lunatic ❤️
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12/3 7:23am
So few days back, a passed a spiky stool, which caused a anal tear. Now it hurts everytime, I poop. Lets hope it heals quickly. Constipation is not helping in this, obviously neither is junk food.
I am feeling a bit good after studying in metro. Will study the remaining topic for micro tut in first period and postings, if I get time. Anshita has sent me the log book pics as well. I dont know if I should just straightaway copy it or change something.
Lets hope for the best. Everything will be fine. I will not masturbate today. Today will be a perfect day. My hair are looking good too. My face broke out on Sunday night, but it's healing now. I will study properly during exams to safeguard my sleep cycle.
Bye
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Sunday, August 6th.
There she is again, standing alone on the edge of the cliff, watching the moon at Calamity Realm. The sky is cloudy tonight, but the moon still shines brightly. The cold night wind softly brushes her hair that's already getting longer the past four months. She feels longing, melancholy, and lonely at the same time. Sits down, she can only talk to herself.
"I see that you're back into this world. The truth is, although my memories of you fade slowly, it's still hard for me to breathe every time I see you from afar. It looks like you're doing just fine, continue on with your life. Unlike me who's still bound by the ghost of you." She said that with a bitter smile on her lips. At times her eyes get watery. Tears are almost falling from her eyes, but she tries holding them in.
"I really hope that I can stop thinking about you. I hope that time will heal my broken heart. I really hope that I will be better in time. I really do hope. Because it hurts me every time I remember you. My conscience tells me that I have to let you go completely, and I do forget about you most of the time, but sometimes, the ghost of you just comes back as if it wants to check on me...." She holds her breath and sighs. ".... So pathetic of me. Sometimes I act strong, but sometimes I just can't help it but give in to these negative feelings..." Brushes her tears, she wanders again at the moon. "Is there any way to forget you quickly?"
Time passes. She's still sitting by the moon, overwhelmed by her thoughts. Deep in her heart she hopes that sometimes he will remember her and think about her. Because to her it's unfair that she still finds herself hard to completely remove him from her heart, while he seems to do vice versa. Though she knows that no one needs to hold onto the past, no one needs to suffer anymore from the parting. It's just that sometimes she ponders that there were times when he was her moon.
There are messages coming to her mailbox, then she realizes that it has passed about two hours there. "Moving on is harder than I thought." She said with a bitter smile. She gets up and looks at the moon once again. She reaches her hand out to the moon. "Good bye", she said.
Now that she feels a bit better after talking to the moon, she turns back with a soft smile on her lips. "It's time to go back to reality", she said to herself on her way back home.
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“it has to be you”