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#but the trick is just to get into it until you piece together what the hell is happening and the history of it all
ffverr · 16 days
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hello I come to you with a request. I watched x men 97 recently and was saddened by how little time the whole magneto in charge of the x men storyline got and I know he does this longer in the comics (I can't say why but the phrase "its seven in the morning max..." lives rent free in my brain) so I wanted to ask if you have any recommendation for comics from that era / any recommendations for comics with mister magnet-os because I want to get into x men comics but comics as always are so daunting
It is my great pleasure to answer this!!
Disclaimer 1, I am still going through a lot of the issues of this era but I will try my best to make it as clear a guide as I can for you!
Disclaimer 2, Headmaster of the school and leader of the X-Men are quite different positions that they kind of fused together in the 97 show so I do want to make it clear that magneto in the "seven in the morning" era is headmaster of the school, teaching young kids, while Storm is leading the X-men team and Scott is leading the X-factor team, so with that said:
Magneto's teacher arc starts in uncanny X-Men issues 199 and 200 (iconic issues containing the trial of magneto that was adapted in the show!) And then he is headmaster of the school in the book "The new mutants" by Chris Clermont, from issue 35 to issue 75. It is A LOT I admit and he gets a more minor place considering the book is about the kickass young class of new mutants that he's teaching. But it is worth checking out! Many consider this to kind of be peak magneto because.... he's trying so hard to be a good teacher and to handle all these kids and it's very humanizing for him!
I mean look at him and his 8 kids!
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Now, how to get into Magneto overall? Let's get into it:
I believe it is impossible to get into Magneto without reading his ultimate origin story, Magneto: Testament by Greg Pack. It is a quick intro, it barely features his powers (not an action comic) and it WILL absolutely make you cry. I consider it essential magneto reading!
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Next up: Two One shots if you want to get a quick primer on the character pre moral arc instead of sitting through his few appearances in the Stan Lee comics:
A classic one: X-Men: God Loves, Men Kills by Chris Clermont. It is an iconic comic book one shot that can be read out of continuity just to see what his deal is when he's not necessarily on the side of the X-Men but fighting for his own ideals! It's also a brilliant comic book!
If you want a more recent retelling of the first appearances of magneto you HAVE to read X-Men Mythos that retells magneto's major first appearance in the 60s in quite a beautiful and amazing way! It also has an absolutely insane magneto scene that makes me scream so do check it out as a primer! (So this would "chronologically" come before God loves men Kills)
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Now for his switch from ridiculous villain of the 60s/early 70s to complexe guy in the classic era (80s), read the issues 149 and 150 from the run Uncanny X-Men by Chris Clermont. This is THE pivotal moment for "good guy" Magneto
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(know that after issue 150, somehow he falls in the ocean from asteroid M, is rescued from a shark attack by Scott's girlfriend lee forester. They have a quick relationship where he struggled with his change of morals then he comes to the new mutants)
if you want to continue chronologically you read the issues 199 and 200 that I recommended at the start then go to the new mutants I talked about!
If you want MORE MODERN comics, then I advise you get right into what's happening at the moment!
House of X powers of X are two series that intertwine (you'll easily find them in the right order) by the same writer, Jonathan hickman!
It serves as a status quo change/relaunch of the X-Men universe and it is absolutely brilliant! Magneto plays a big part of the story and it's basically all about the mutants winning for once! Don't worry too much if you don't know most of the history of characters, you'll get used to it quickly (that's what I did!) I'd say it's a bold but very functional intro to X-Men comics!
Then he appears as a major character in the GREAT series X-Men Red by Al Ewing alongside Storm, his eternal equal and great duo in my eyes (funny how when he's peak she's always somewhere around)
In this he is- epic, depressed, suicidal, sassy, it's great magneto stuff! This series is widely regarded as the best X-Men comic out right now!
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(if you want context for this book read the event X of Swords, or I could explain if interested)
That's about all I will lay on you ! If this is hella confusing, don't hesitate to dm me! I can detail more cleanly exactly what you have to read and when!
Good reading!
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vilsoo · 30 days
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CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, SPIDER
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⸻ 🕷️‧₊˚ ⋅ spiderman!gojo satoru x black cat!reader obsessed with the hunt more than the prey, you love making satoru chase you. maybe one day you’ll let him catch you…
TAGS. robbery, theft, chase scene, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, flirting, eventual rough smut, slight stalking, use of petnames (cat, kitty, etc), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, switchy!gojo, switchy!reader, WC: 3,670
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gojo has never met anyone as reckless as you.
it was always in your nature to be so cunning, playful, and whimsical just to get what you want. but there was much more about you that he’ll forever admire; your intelligence, proficiency, skills, and agility as his partner alongside. you used to work together professionally, taking down criminals and carrying out missions while also having an intimate relationship together.
but aside your flirtatious, provocative side that gojo also had a thing for, you were still a criminal deep down.
he strongly believed that he could have a positive influence on you and not live the rest of your life as a thief. but your criminal instincts always got the best of you; you valued your independence and desires more than anything, enjoying your luxurious life of crime as a relentless and manipulative burglar. when gojo caught you stealing from the criminals you both fought, everything had to end that day from such betrayal. your mistrust and moral ambiguity was too much for him to handle as spiderman.
as the years gone by of working alone and saving the city millions of times now, you still come and go across gojo’s mind. you were nowhere to be found and unable to track no matter how hard he looked. as badly as he misses you alongside with him, he just couldn’t handle the conflicting loyalties, trust issues, and moral differences between you two. but there was no doubt that he still has love for you deep down… he’d often wonder what were to happen if you were to ever cross paths again.
“there’s been suspicious activity going down at the art museums and large bank corporations in tokyo and shibuya. many valuable art pieces have gone missing along with over 70 million yen robbed in just a blink of an eye…”
it was currently 12:07am in tokyo. gojo made his way inside the tokyo national museum while it was closed, checking if every art piece were still intact including the security protocols. he knew he wasn’t really supposed to be sneaking inside here, but he’s dedicated on catching this thief, even if it’ll piss the police off for stealing their job (like he always dowes) and taking care of things in his own way. but that’s how gojo rolls— technically considered as a vigilante, he’ll always be a menace to some people in the city, even the ones in authority. if only he wasn’t so whimsical and cocky about being better than the cops at doing their jobs sometimes…
as gojo was scanning the museum, nothing seemed out of place. even his spidey-sense couldn’t recognize any kind of movement, danger, or threat nearby. the showcase room with tokyo’s national treasures all looked perfectly fine— but it wasn’t until he passed by the katana displays.
a tiny black cat figure was sitting on the silk drape where the 10th-century crescent moon blade was supposed to be. though he was alert that an artifact was already missing, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of trick this was. but when a click from the black cat went off, a demure voice recording started playing.
“hey, spider. been thinking about you a lot lately. it’s just boring living alone in this new house… maybe some new decorations wouldn’t hurt. like the crescent moon katana, one the five swords under heaven. i think it’d look lovely on my shelves, don’t you think?”
your voice heightened every nerve of his body as if his inhibitions were tossed out the window. his head darted at every corner of the showcase room, looking for cameras or even a sign of you lurking in the shadows. every thought of his was consumed by flashbacks of you; your scent that drives him crazy, your touch that drives him wild, your flirtatious side that gojo just couldn’t get enough of… all of your memories flooded right back into his head.
“black cat,” gojo marveled, suddenly coming back to his senses after realizing you were alive this whole time. “i should’ve known— 70 million yen in just one night? i didn’t think there’d be anyone that skilled to pull that off better than you can. still been a bad kitty, haven’t you?”
“aw. are you flirting with me already? seems like you missed me,” you teased through the speaker on the black cat toy.
“you ghosted me for months and here i find you again; catching you stealing art or starting your own heist,” he exasperated. “what’s it gonna take for you to actually stop stealing art?”
you couldn’t help but admire gojo through the security cameras; he still looked as good as the last time you left him. “you already know me, spider. my morals aren’t ever aligned with yours. now, you gonna get out of there and catch me or wait until the security system gets triggered?”
suddenly, the alarm went off right after you already made your escape out of the museum. cursing under his suit, gojo had to find a way out and avoid the red flashing lights and cameras. from the window, he can see you swinging with your grappling hook out from the museum and into the city.
“quick! check everything,” a man’s voice echoed down the hall when a rush of dozen security guards scurried into the showcase room.
gojo had to immediately attach onto the ceiling and hide in plain sight, looking for any nearby exits as quick as he could before you could get away this time. when he found a sunroof window that can be pushed open, he made his way out and started swinging towards the direction you were going.
it didn’t even take long for him to find you; he knew exactly what you were doing; making your way through the cityscape and pretending that he wasn’t following right behind you from a distance. you really wanted to get caught. or maybe you were luring him right where you wanted him to be…
“oh, you’re still with me!” you pretend to act shocked as you looked behind your shoulder, hauling yourself onto a crane and staying higher above him. you wanted to keep him at a distance where he can’t reach you, but he can follow you until you reached your hideout.
gojo grunted, remembering the fact that you can swing a little faster than him. “i can go all night if that’s what it takes!” he shouts.
“all night with me? is that a promise, satoru?”
“you naughty girl. still trying to flatter your way out of this?”
“oh, but you love when i do that!”
the two of you kept swinging through the city, through the streets, and even underground where all the train stations were busy. as exhausted as he was, he was still dedicated to reach you. maybe even capture you and pin you down with his webs for running away from him. as you swung through a darkened alleyway, gojo managed to draw closer and was preparing to shoot a web to temporarily stop you. but at the end of the alleyway, you suddenly disappeared. he landed on a window with a loud thud and panted heavily, looking everywhere for you.
“damnit,” he cursed under his breath. “where’d she go?”
as gojo crawled across the building’s windows and was about to haul himself over onto the rooftop, he peaked over and instantly recognized your shoes. you were heading through the doors of the building that appeared to be the balcony of a fancy penthouse, looking behind your shoulder with a smirk on your face before heading inside.
you were a naughty, yet clever girl in gojo’s eyes.
as quiet and sneaky he could be, he landed on the balcony and swung on top of your penthouse’s windows to not be seen. gojo had a sense that you knew he was watching— but then again, this is exactly you wanted. purposely discarding what you stole from today’s heist, you knew there was something else that you desired besides all that money and fancy artifacts you stole. you feigned oblivious about gojo literally stalking you. it made you want to spice things up a bit…
you whirled around to face your body mirror and slowly zipped down your latex black suit. slowly stripping down for him, as if you were throwing a little show— even the neighbors across the building could also enjoy. but you took pleasure and thrill from teasing gojo like this, always from a distance where it’ll tempt him to draw closer to you. he loved how coy you tried to play for him. maybe he wanted to get you back and give you the attention you were wanting. as he crawled on your large windows and made his way on the rooftop, he entered through your open sunroof window and landed in the middle of your living room with a loud thud.
but as he scanned the inside of your penthouse, you were gone. nowhere to be found in the last place he saw you. of course, you were wildly unpredictable to him. always pulling your own tricks and surprising him off guard. it wasn’t until it was too late before his spidey-sense could warn him that you were attacking him from his peripheral vision— before he could pull a move and defend himself from you jump attacking him, you grab his arm and flip him over on his back, straddling him as he grunted in pain.
“woah. breaking and entering now, spider?” you huffed as you hovered your masked face above his. “i don’t think it’s fair that i get in trouble for it but you don’t.”
“trouble?” gojo scoffed. “you’ve caused enough trouble for me tonight, sweetheart. i played your little game and chased you down the whole city. and now i finally caught you just like you wanted me to.”
your lips curl into a smirk as your gloved hand slowly caresses his chest. your suit wasn’t even zipped down all the way, only revealing more of your cleavage that gojo definitely couldn’t take his eyes off of.
“technically you didn’t catch me. i caught you— stalking me through my windows and watching me undress myself? maybe i’m not the only naughty one here…”
“oh, please. what exactly did you gain from stealing and making me chase you all the way to your penthouse? ‘cause i know exactly what you’re doing right now…”
the tone in gojo’s voice falls from stern to sultry, feeling your heartbeat grow rapid in just a fleeting moment. there was this unexplainable affect that gojo had on you when you two were together. he’d evoke such strong sensations that you never knew you were capable of feeling, like tempting you to go straight and become a hero like him to fight alongside with. as a thief and wanted criminal, it’s palpable that good boys like gojo satoru were your type… you may have loved him, but you couldn’t love anything more than the hunt and the luxury.
your faces were just mere inches away from each other; you still memorize his prominent features that you adorned like how you memorized dozens of safe codes. but as gojo fixates his gaze onto you underneath his mask, you have eroded his senses once again, the way your dark mystery drizzles into his skin. he couldn’t fight nor deny how effortlessly you beguile him, wrapping him in some sort of spell. he fumbled several missions in the past just to kiss your pretty face, to sneak away on rooftops and get down to business from how crazy you make him, and developing serious romantic feelings for you that he was willing to make you more than just his girlfriend and partner— if only you had not betrayed him…
“don’t you miss this, satoru?” you cooed to his ear as your hand makes its way to the neckline of his mask. he can feel the way your fingers slipped underneath, gently caressing his neck and wanting to lift it just to reveal lips.
gojo would be lying if he said he didn’t. hot flashbacks of all the times you two made love and fucked each other hard in the past started running through his mind it was impossible to evade. he missed you deeply; he could never fight off the irresistible effect you have on him.
“you brought me all the way here for a reason. might as well make the most of it, right?”
suddenly, gojo pushes your body off his and hovered above you now, snatching his mask off and tossing it away in urgency as he kisses you. he can feel the way your lips stretch into a smile as you kiss back, immediately wrapping your legs around him and running your fingers through his snow-white hair. your body falls weak from his knee pressing between your legs, remembering your ultimate weakness.
gojo’s mouth made its way from your lips to the side of your neck, holding back from kissing your collarbone to get one good look at you one more time. his ultimate weakness was your luscious, expensive scent— whatever perfume you had was like a strong pheromone to him, sending his mind into a haze. but he still managed to remain in control, no matter how dominant you tried to act towards him.
“if you’re gonna strip for me, why didn’t you finish, hm? you wanted me rip your suit off for you or what?”
“do it, spider. i dare you,” you taunt, subtly biting your lip.
gojo chuckled, shaking his head in response to not giving you what you want. “nah… i don’t think i should ruin it. do what you did earlier and strip for me while i watch you.”
even if you wanted to act all defiant and bratty towards him and not give him what he wants, there was a part of you that wanted to throw a little show for him. gojo sat down on your sofa with his arms propped on the back cushions, slightly manspreading. you always knew how truly perverted he was underneath that “hero” facade he has for the public, which is why you fell for him.
as you stood in front of him with a smirk, you slowly pulled down the zipper to your suit. gojo watched in silent amusement watching the sleeves fall from your shoulders, slowly revealing your tits and your laced thong, all the way until your black leather suit pools around your ankles.
“‘atta girl,” he says, shifting himself on the sofa from how uncomfortable his boner was under his spider suit. “not so hard following directions, am i right?”
“following directions is not the only thing hard for me right now…” your gaze lands on his crotch, prompting you to get on your knees and crawl right between his open legs, making him nervous. “poor spider. looks like there’s something else that needs to be taken care of.”
now you were back in control of gojo, who had to hide his face flushing red from your hands caressing his inner thighs. you looked so fucking sexy to him, even when you’re teasing him on your knees right in your penthouse living room with the police probably on the search for both of you right now. he lets you pull down the lower seam of his suit as he slips off the top part and discards everything on your floor, finally taking in his heavenly body and strong physique that you admired for the longest. it felt like old times, with both of you half-naked and craving deep intimacy one last time.
“i really did miss you, cat,” gojo murmured, peering deep into your eyes.
you get up off your knees and straddled him, feeling his soft hands glide down your bare back and caressing your waist. “i missed you too, satoru.”
he lets out a sigh when he feels the wet spot on your panties subtly rub on his aching cock poking through his briefs. “if i make you come multiple times tonight… will you promise to be a good girl and stop stealing?”
“is that another way of telling me you want to fuck my brains out right now?” you teased, subtly grinding your hips on him. “fine, i’ll oblige. you did promise to go all night with me.”
and as the night went on, gojo really fulfilled his promise of fucking you multiple rounds, multiple positions, and multiple orgasms. hell, you lost count that it was probably way more than him. it astounded you that he was lasting this long with you compared to when you two were together; always this sweet, shy, and submissive boy for you that couldn’t last two rounds because of how you were always in control. sure, after he was bitten by the radioactive spider that gives him his strength and super powers, he was still sensitive and more prone to orgasms because of his heightened senses. but now that time has passed and you haven’t seen each other in a long time, it seems that his stamina has increased dramatically.
your orgasms were way more intensified that you lost all coherence from how mindblowing gojo kept fucking into you much further and faster, wrapping his large hand around your throat from behind and slightly choking you. never have you been so turned on you couldn’t see straight.
“you can take it all, cockslut,” he huffed in your ear. “just can’t stop coming all over my cock, eh? you miss when i turn you into my dumb little whore?”
you tried to reply, but your words slurred and your thoughts were mush. all you could do was moan pathetically as lust speared through you from his words. your head grew so hazy with intensity that the world around you started spinning. you looked like you were in a daze, your face all glossy and sweaty from him fucking your throat so roughly and coming all over your face earlier.
gojo chuckles, harshly slapping your ass and pulling your hips back and forth on his cock. you could hear his animalistic groans and growls filling your ears from how fucking good you felt clenching around him. “i need to hear you say yes. c’mon, kitty. be an obedient slut for me.”
“y— yes, satoru,” you whined, almost squirming in his grasp when he started playing with your clit from behind. “i like— i like being your dumb… little whore…”
gojo can feel his orgasm building inside you as well that he had the urge to pin your head down on the cushions while roughly slapping his hips onto your ass. he loved the way your ass was rippling with every harsh thrust and every harsh slap.
“fuck, cat. i’m gonna come inside your cunt if you keep throbbing on me like that,” he grunted. “will you promise to stop stealing from now on? i’ll give you one more orgasm if you promise for me…”
your back was arched all the way as your moans were muffled by your cushions. you couldn’t stop drooling either that it left a few marks. “i— i promise…! please, please come with me, satoru. come inside me again, i need it…”
the way you kept begging and became so feral had gojo immediately lose himself, shooting hot, sticky white strings of cum into your womb. your cunt couldn’t stop flexing and tightening all over his cock as if you were trying to push him out from such an intense orgasm. sweat was trickling down the both of your skins, bodies flashing hotter than ever as you both collapsed on your cool sofa. gojo laid down on top of you, feeling the rapid beating of his heart and hearing him catching his breath. he looked so adorable that you ran your fingers through his hair, wanting nothing but to indulge in this sweet, intimate moment of cuddling just like old times.
“do you really mean it?” he suddenly murmurs.
“…mean what?”
“you promise you won’t ever steal again?” gojo hovered above you, his expression so profound as he peered deeply into your eyes, like there really was a chance of hope and redemption for you. that was all he ever really wanted; for you to be his partner alongside again, to make you a hero again and utilize your talents for helping people other than yourself.
but then again, you were unpredictable to the spider. there was nothing you loved more than the chase.
“hm. and what if i break that promise?” you smirked. “what are you gonna do if i steal again?”
“then… i’ll just have to tie you up next time and teach you a lesson,” he mirrored your smirk. “but i bet you’d love that, so… maybe i’d have to turn you in, then.”
“i’m kidding satoru. i don’t ever break promises,” you confide, softly caressing his face. “i promise to be by your side and not steal. we can be together just like old times… but only one condition.”
“…which is?”
“spend the nights with me here, satoru,” you whispered fondly. “i don’t wanna be alone every night again.”
gojo planted sweet kisses on your forehead, on both sides of your face, and on your lips, slowly turning into a passionate make-out session. “if that’s what it takes for you to never steal again… i’ll stay with you. promise.”
it was a shame, though. how gullible that spiderman, gojo satoru, could be sometimes. because that following morning when gojo was still sound asleep on your bed, you had to take your leave before the police arrived right at your location where all the missing stuff were hiding. you left a kiss mark on the side of his face with black lipstick and another black cat toy right beside him. as quiet and sneaky you could be, you escaped through your sunroof with a smirk on your face, not looking back on gojo who was soon to be framed for stealing.
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ALL WORKS BELONG TO VILSOO © 2024. do not steal, plagiarize, translate, or repost/share any of my works on any social media where minors have access.
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justporo · 5 months
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Hear me out! Tav brought a statue of Astarion to the camp but Astarion does not recognize himself in it and does not understand why their leader spent 5000 gold on a random stone man. Meanwhile the party is betting on how long it will take Astarion to guess whose statue it is.
5000 Gold
"He's not... he's not gonna figure it out anytime soon, is he?"
"Sshhh!"
Shadowheart shushed Karlach with an angry frown and a single finger thrown to her lips.
The two of them - along with your other companions observed the scene unfolding on the other side of the camp. Right where a delivery had just been made - and quite an uncommon one.
A giant stone statue, depicting... Astarion - and almost fully nude at that.
You couldn't resist when the offer had been made to you at the carnival at the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. 5000 gold had felt like nothing for the punchline you had been about to make with having a statue be made of the one companion that couldn't remember what he himself looked like.
And Astarion, upon discovering Tav's most recent purchase, had started to throw a temper tantrum immediately, almost fainting when he had heard the paid sum out of your mouth.
The vampire had worked himself into an outright frenzy, screaming, hissing, gesticulating towards the statue, then back to you, then to the skies. Meanwhile all you could do anymore was biting your lip to stop yourself from bursting into the biggest laughing fit of your life.
The rest of the group kept observing from a safe distance.
"Istik", Lae'zel mumbled under her breath. But even the sober githyanki could barely hide a smile.
Shadowheart shushed her as well. Wyll had just been silently shaking his head for the last couple of minutes. Shadowheart had started taking bets on how long it would take the oblivious vampire to realise the cruel trick that was being played on him. Karlach, being way too optimistic, had already lost some coin to the cleric with their estimate of a few minutes.
Only Gale who had been busy this far with some of his thousand books had missed the whole spectacle so far. Just now had the wizard realised that something was going down. He eyed the fighting trio of you Astarion and stone Astarion and then the group of bystanders, trying to decipher the situation. When he couldn't make any logical sense of any of it he went over to the small onlooking group. "I appear to have missed something? What is-"
Shadowheart hissed at him to shut up, causing Gale to flinch back with a hurt facial expression. Wyll though wasn't impressed by the cleric and enlightened his friend: "It looks like our clever leader Tav has taken up the offer of getting a stone statue of Astarion for a bargain of 5000 gold without telling anyone. And now we're betting how long it's going to take him to realise it's him."
Shadowheart stared the Blade of Frontiers down. Wyll merely shrugged his shoulders. He'd faced more fearsome creatures than the cleric aplenty.
Gale just blinked several times at him, letting the words settle. Then a grin spread on the wizard's face. "I bet 100 gold it's gonna take him at least until the end of the day."
Shadowheart's furious expression lightened noticeably and she stretched out her hand to Gale. They shook on the bet. Then everyone turned back to the two Astarion's and you to continue watching the scene.
"Why in the nine hells would you get a statue of some random guy - he isn't that... Well, he is quite handsome!" Astarion yelled at you while you had to hide your face in your hands desperately trying to pull yourself together.
The vampire didn't let up: "Well, if only it had been me, then I would have understood, darling, who wouldn't want that as a piece of decor, but-"
That was it, you broke. Hysterical laughter started shaking you, up to the point where you doubled over and could barely breathe between laughing and crying from laughing.
The vampire meanwhile went through the whole spectrum of emotions known under the sun in a matter of seconds. Angered, confused, flustered. And then finally something in the elf’s brain clicked together.
He stared at the statue then at you, back to the statue and suddenly his hands wandered over his own face as if to grasp it's lines and shapes.
"You...," he started and stopped. Through your tears you were sure you could see the vampire's pointy ears turn bright pink. "That IS me!"
You were barely able to nod as another fit of laughter shook you. Astarion’s mouth opened several times but no sound came out. A rare occasion to the see the sassy rogue so void of words.
Meanwhile, a bunch of moans could be heard from the other side of camp where Shadowheart collected her won gold from the others.)
"Why would you-", Astarion began and his expression was barely readable while your laughter slowly died down and you were able to kneel back on your feet.
"Didn't you say it yourself? He's quite handsome, isn't he? Now you get to see for yourself again."
Astarion pointed an angry finger at you about to throw another fit but then his eyes fell on the statue again. Now with knowing what it was and what it meant it shut him up immediately.
He took a few steps closer to get a better look. His anger at you momentarily forgotten as he gazed upon his own image for the first time in over 200 years.
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casualhedonists · 6 months
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✩ it don’t need your loving, it just needs attention ✩ (chapter two)
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pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader
chapter: 2/?
MASTERLIST
warnings: NSFW (18+), snow being snow, themes of sex work (not the reader), cuckolding, eventual smut, fake relationship, unprotected sex, themes of voyeurism & mild exhibitionism, murder mention (but no actual murder) (not yet at least?), MAJOR manipulation/gross power dynamics + generally darkish themes, some power play, oral sex, thigh riding, eventual piv, i’m new to full on smut bear with me here (and pls tell me if i forgot anything!)
i do not give permission for my work to be reposted/translated anywhere, under any circumstances.
a/n: first off, THANK YOU for the love on chapter 1. wasn’t sure how I’d fare since I’ve done a lot of writing in my life but little to no smut. with that said! longer chapter incoming. also I just know he’d give insane head okay i just do,the guy looks like he fucks and he definitely does
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You weren't sure exactly how you slipped away from Snow’s room that night, but you could somewhat piece it together in flashes. First a head rush, then the fire in the pit of your stomach practically having gasoline thrown on it.
You remembered a quiet gasp escaping your lips, then panic, a flash of white, and suddenly you were stumbling away, head spinning as you tried to catch your breath, pacing unevenly down the hallway, any chance of a stealthy escape long thrown out the window.
Back in your room, once the door was bolted and your back was against it, making sure nobody could get in if they tried, you had your first shot at clear-headedness since you’d heard heels scuffing the hardwood.
You’d soaked your panties through and were dripping down your thighs, but you’d be damned if you could get into the headspace to take care of it. Panic flooded your veins, ice-hot as you tried to catch your breath. you slid down the door and sat there, legs numb against the cold wooden planks.
Who was she? A million questions filled your head all at once. Was she from the Capitol? Could she be one of Snow’s friends, one of your friends? The thought made you sick. What if you’d dined with her before? Talked to her? How long had this been happening? Who knew about it? Were you being played?
Had he seen you watching him?
Unable to help yourself, your one-track mind took you back to the way he’d groaned your name, though you were half sure that had been a fever dream of some kind. Still, you kept replaying it. Over and over, like a broken record.
It didn’t make any sense, you were so fucking confused. All this time you’d been hoping he would make a move, you’d practically begged him to. Why hadn’t he? When you were clearly on his mind, and yet he made you believe he didn’t think of you that way at all. Was he just respecting your agreement?
You fiddled with the lace on the hem of your slip as you mulled it over. You stayed sat like this for almost an hour, trying unsuccessfully to wrap your head around it. When you ended up right back where you started, and you were sure enough time had passed that if someone was coming to get you, they would’ve already, you finally stood up. Your caution led you to drag a chair from across the room, propping it up by the door to jam the handle. That left you with the sliver of peace of mind you required to shower off this cold sweat you’d formed.
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The next morning, you dreaded breakfast. But you knew you had to face him, as well as the fact that this could very well be your last meal. You should at least try to eat well.
You made your way downstairs, a few minutes later than usual, enough for Coriolanus to already be sipping coffee, a few pages through his newspaper. You’d not got fully dressed yet, not wanting the contrast to be too obvious, but you’d wrapped a silk dressing gown around you so you were a little more covered up. You knew one thing for certain, you wouldn’t be trying any more of your tricks until you knew just what you were dealing with.
He didn’t look over at you, which you took as a good sign. The urge to hide from him, from what you’d seen and what you now knew, overwhelmed you. You didn’t say a word, and picked silently at your breakfast, but despite your best efforts, not managing to keep more than a few bites down.
“You’re quiet today.” He muttered, and you started.
“Um.”
He lowered his paper.
“Something wrong?”
How about everything?
“Oh, no, I’m okay. Just uh…” you glanced up at him, and met his sharp gaze. Fuck. You’d hoped you’d go unnoticed. You felt like a deer in headlights, like he could read your mind.
“Well?” He prompted, gaze unwavering. You blinked.
“Headache.” You managed to breathe, faking a small, pitiful smile.
He brought his paper back up in front of him, crisply turning the page. You both thanked the new barrier between you for cutting off his stare, and resented it as you looked at the tiny printed words you couldn’t make out from where you were sitting.
“I’ll have Lucille bring you up something.”
“Thank you.” you said quickly, almost too quickly, and you feared he might lower his paper again to watch you as you stumbled over another excuse. But you fell lucky this time.
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The week seemed to pass in a blur, Monday’s gala being one of the only times you really left your room when Snow was around, other than meal times, which you spent in a similar state as that first breakfast. You cursed yourself for throwing out your longer dresses, and settled for the least suggestive of them, the white one you’d been thinking of pitching to Snow as a backup plan in your panicked state outside his bedroom. That all felt worlds away now. What you’d seen had shifted the tides, marking a solid, definitive line in your head between the before and after.
The gala went as well as it could given the circumstances. You danced, Snow was charming to you in front of the guests, but held your gaze no longer than usual. It was simultaneously terrifying and thrilling to feel his hands on your waist, knowing what you knew. It felt like you’d been tapped with a cattle prod and had to hide it every time his hand brushed yours on top of the dinner table, as unsuspecting guests smiled at you, the happy couple.
If only they knew that in the same breath, you were scanning the crowd, wondering who the blonde could’ve been, how close she was to Snow, if at all, and hating the way every touch he placed on your hands and waist served as a reminder that he’d been touching her instead of you.
Your stupid brain had formed a highlight reel of what you’d witnessed behind Snow’s door, and it tortured you with every passing moment. To know he was thinking of you. To think that maybe, he wanted you there instead. It put a strange sense of possessive pride into you, that weaved between your jealousy. Because yes, you’d seen another girl on her knees with her mouth around him, but you hadn’t heard any name other than your own while it happened.
You carried this strange hope, dwindling to start off, and then building each day that you were left un-hanged and very much alive, slowly chipping away at your fear of the worst. And yet, you knew the game, unbeknownst to Snow, had been fundamentally changed. You’d stopped your antics altogether, now barely meeting his eye as you passed each other in the hallway, covering up more at breakfast, and only talking just enough to avoid another interrogation. Avoiding touch, and conversation, and all-around keeping yourself away from him.
You were quieter still at night in your room. After a few days, you’d finally felt safe enough to move the chair away and sleep with the door locked as you normally would. But while your games had stopped, your want for him had only been amplified. Fuelled by jealousy and frustration, you had to bite down on your hand so that not even the slightest noise made its way out as you pictured him, not as you used to in your fantasies, but as you’d seen him that night, undone with your name on his lips. It was much easier, in your head, to picture yourself as the one on your knees. Any other fantasy just failed to make the cut now you’d seen the real thing.
Thursday rolled around and you’d made a new habit of pacing the downstairs library when Coriolanus was out of the house. That way, if he got home and stepped inside, you could pretend to be lost in a book. But the hours seemed to stretch out and you became bored, and with no Snow in sight, you decided to head down to the servants’ quarters.
This wasn’t a common occurrence, but it wasn’t unheard of. You were known for your gentleness among the house staff, less harsh than Snow, but firm nonetheless. It had led you to a respectful friendliness with the maids and servants, and once every so often you’d check in on them.
Today’s objectives, however, were purely self-motivated. You found Lucille, who dressed you, at the kitchen table, chopping vegetables.
She stood upon seeing you, and curtseyed (Snow was rather old fashioned that way). You nodded, then took a seat at the foot of the table.
“Do you need any help with that?” You glanced at the cutting board.
Lucille’s eyes widened. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Ma’am.”
You laughed. Lucille chopped and diced, and you asked questions. At first, they were after her family, her brother was sick and despite your offers, she wouldn’t accept help. So instead you listened, and slowly but surely, your questions got a little more directed toward the object of your interest.
You were good at playing the long game, so you started by asking about the company he kept. What she thought of them, with the promise that it would stay between the two of you, cross your heart.
She wouldn’t say much but she knew a little more than you; Snow kept very similar company as you did, and rarely went out for social visits. Any trips were strictly work-related, and when you eased into the topic of his past, Lucille mentioned, in very polite terms, that he had left a small trail of women heartbroken after a short period of time. That not all of them had been pleasant, and that she was pleased you seemed to have a positive effect on him.
She knew about your arrangement, practically the whole staff did, but they were kept on a very tight leash and were thoroughly reminded to not say a word acknowledging it, not even to you. It was with a knowing glance that Lucille told you she was happy you’d stayed around.
You smiled. Knowing that was likely all you were going to get for now, you let her be. By then, it was late enough to have gone dark, and you headed up to bed.
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You awoke to creaking outside your door, and the shadow of footsteps from underneath it. You’d been tossing and turning for the last - you checked your watch - two hours. Excellent. You rolled onto your back wondering who it was, and then you heard it again. At first you wondered if it was just a sleep-deprived hallucination, or a sense of deja-vu, but then you focused, and there it was. The sound of heels. Again.
You sat up in bed, pushing your hair out of your face. You were enraged the first time, but if this was becoming a Thursday night tradition, it would be a serious problem. You were tired, you reasoned, you could just try to go back to sleep. Ignore it. Not let him have this power over you, a power that he didn’t even know he had. All the more reason to ignore it, and make it tomorrow’s problem.
But you just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie, no matter how hard you tried. Your mother used to say it was a problem, always sticking your nose in places it didn’t belong. But it had got you this far, hadn't it?
You knew you were going to follow her to Snow’s room again, it was just a matter of time. You had to at least pretend you had an ounce of self-control, whereas really your head was thrumming and you knew it would take getting hit by a high-speed train to send you back to sleep now.
So you held off. Five minutes passed. Then ten. You had to know, at least, what they were doing. Maybe you could get a look at her face, see who it was, and answer some of the questions you had.
So you went. With a purpose this time, knowing full well what and who you’d end up seeing, trying to take steady breaths and focus on your plan. Check who it was, then leave.
You’d never been that great at execution. Call it hedonism, call it a morbid fascination, or living vicariously, but when you walked up to the door - which was ajar again, strangely even more than last time, by at least an inch or two - you looked inside, and your feet planted. The last shred of your self-control allowed you to take in the room first, the desk and chair that was right within your sight, and as you tucked yourself into the room, half hidden behind the door, you finally looked back at the bed where you’d seen Snow with his blonde girl last time.
Neither of them were sitting now.
Thirty seconds ago, you would’ve believed the hottest thing you’d ever seen was what played out in this room last week. But that was before you saw Snow turned away from you, still fully dressed with his sleeves rolled up, stomach on the bed and face between the blonde’s thighs, eating her out like he was on death row and she was his last meal.
You’d gotten head before. You knew it felt good, but the boys you’d slept with before your arrangement with Snow were selfish and inattentive. They would try, but they were far more interested in getting their dicks wet than showing you a good time. But Snow - you’d never seen anything like it. You didn’t know it could feel that good, or at least, not as good as the blonde girl - who you noted in the back of your mind, wasn’t anyone you recognised - was making it look. Her hips were bucking so hard he was having to pin her down with both hands around her waist.
She was just moving so much, wriggling and crying out and gasping and - you didn’t think you’d ever truly known jealousy until that moment. You couldn’t look away, knees weak and hands shaking, letting yourself get sucked into this headspace again, losing all trace of rationality. You’d think she was playing it up for him, but you knew what that sounded like. You’d faked enough orgasms to know if she was, but this? This was real. As she got close, grinding into him, writhing, running a shaky hand through his hair then getting louder, you managed to snap out of your trance.
In a flash, you ran back down the hallway.
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If you thought you were avoiding Snow before, this week was about to give you a run for your money. You took breakfast in your room, and kept only to the parts of the house you knew he never entered. You only touched yourself in the shower, silent cries washed away by the water and steam, paranoia backing you into a corner.
You feigned illness the one time Snow sent a maid to inquire after you. Nothing too major, but enough to put him off. When he left the house, you snuck into the library to smuggle books back to your room, a pile forming as you tried ceaselessly to distract yourself.
You wrote home, you studied art and history. You attempted a few terrible sketches. You tore apart your room, then put it back together.
Before you knew it, Thursday rolled around again. On longer days like this, when Snow had been away working for hours at a time, you’d doubled down on your efforts to get information, and after chipping away for just long enough, you finally managed to squeeze some tidbits out of Lucille. Namely that there was a certain gentleman’s club in the city that he used to frequent before his election as President. Snow’s old driver might know its name, she said.
“But that was long before he met you, ma’am, rest assured.” She added hurriedly.
“Of course. Thank you, Lucille. I think I’ve kept you for long enough. Goodnight.”
Snow had been gone for the whole day, and you weren’t sure if he’d come home yet, so as you headed up to your room, you quietly wandered a little further down the hallway, to check if there was any light beneath his door. There wasn’t. Good. You were glad he wouldn’t be continuing this routine of his. Maybe this Thursday night, you could sleep peacefully.
With a sigh, and mulling over what you’d learned today, you returned to your room, poured a drink, then collapsed into bed.
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This night was as sleepless as the rest, and you’d been drifting - not uncomfortably - in and out. A storm was brewing outside, and the sounds of howling wind began to keep you alert. You rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling, then glanced towards your door. Snow must’ve come home at some point, and very late at that, because dim lights had been turned on in the hallway. Paranoia crept into your mind, slowly poisoning your thoughts and turning you inside out.
It didn’t take long before the feeling pushed you to roll out of bed, slide on a dressing gown, and crack open your door. This time, you couldn’t hear footsteps, or anything that might arise suspicion. You closed the door again. Waited. Then looked around your room, at the messy sheets and the half finished glass of liquor on the nightstand. You rarely drank alone, but these past few weeks had been getting to you, fucking with your head. Coriolanus Snow had driven you to this.
The wind got louder, and you knew you were too wired to sleep, so you stood by your window and finished the glass.
You’d never been good with mysteries. You wanted to know everything, all the time. Know who had power over you, know precisely how to take it away. Know exactly what was happening around you at any given moment. But most of all, you didn’t like being played for a fool.
And sure, the ethics of it had never been discussed between the two of you. Your business was strictly professional, but when you weren’t allowed to sleep around, why could he?
In fact, how dare he?
You poured another glass, straight whiskey. Downed it, pacing your room, back and forth between the door and the window, running your fingers along the ridges of the crystal glass. You thought about him, comfortably in his room, not a care in the world.
How dare he.
You weren’t sure if it was the drink or the buildup of your situation that had your blood boiling, but it didn’t matter. You were incensed. His behaviour was an insult to your name, to your family’s name. Sure, this relationship was a sham, but all the more reason for him to act with basic fucking respect. Sleeping with - and very obviously, at that - a whore, who had a bad habit of leaving the door cracked open, was unacceptable.
You were running hot, and if you knew one thing for certain, it was that when Snow met with fire, he was going to melt. You’d make sure of it.
Your feet took you into the hallway, with the decidedness that this would be the last time.
You rushed down the corridor with a tightly bottled rage that was about to burst, words hot on your tongue and demanding to be spoken, until you turned the corner and saw Snow’s door half open. You stopped in your tracks. Reassessed, then stepped closer, slowly, steadily. Remembering what you were there for.
Then, as you got close enough to see inside - right there, without you even having to step past the threshold, were the two of them, lit by a table lamp, Snow sat on the desk chair as the girl rode him to high heaven, obscene noises getting louder. As you approached you saw Snow’s face again, eyes shut, breath laboured, and you couldn’t believe that anyone just walking by would be able to see this. They were fucking like animals, out in the open. You didn’t know how or why you drew closer still, closing in on them. The girl’s head was dropped down to his shoulder, back facing you, and couldn’t see you unless she turned, but Snow? He was practically facing the door, almost as if he’d been…
No. It couldn’t be. Could it?
But you didn’t have time to think it through, because Snow’s eyes blinked open, and you knew. He was looking right at you, blue eyes piercing into yours, sharp and dangerous like he was going in for the kill. You stood there, jaw dropped, unable to look away. In what world could you walk in on someone like this, and feel like they held all the cards, and you none? That was how he looked at you; like you’d been there watching the whole time, and this was all a show, playing out exactly as he’d planned it. Like somehow, despite all your best efforts, he’d landed on top.
It was like he read your mind, because he wet his lips, unblinking as the blonde writhed on his lap, and fucking smirked.
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a/n: can’t wait for them to hate fuck after this (oh sorry forgot i’m the author for a sec) thanks for reading <3
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taglist: @superchatnoir07 @itsrainingreid @nycweb-slinger @lookclosernow @etfrin @resibunn @serving-targaryen-realness @harmfulb1tch @demonsnangels @superb-icarus @julesandro @gracieroxzy @slyhersophia @shadowsepiphany @ben-has-arrived @unclecrunkle @zerotwo-sciencequeen @itsleniiilosers @thesiriusmap @ooooglymoooogly @darkqweenn @going-through-shit @loverw1tch @stinkii-boii
if you’d like to be tagged, please leave a comment on the masterlist!! 💌
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thebisexualdogdad · 7 months
Text
One Piece preferences - how they tell you that they like you (GN!reader)
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Luffy -
● Luffy is not one for shame or embarrassment yet he's always nervous around you
● he always awkwardly rambles when you're near him
● and he even asks if you want the last bite of food before he takes it for himself like usual
● he goes to Usopp first for advice which Sanji and Zoro overhears and tells him to ignore Usopp's terrible advice and listen to them instead
● which then Nami overhears and calls them all idiots and gives Luffy actually good advice
● Luffy finally tells you he likes you but rambles again while talking so you kiss him to shut him up
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Nami -
● she doesn't
● you have to make the first move
● even when you do tell her you like her she makes you work for it
● "I'll go out with you when we find the one piece"
● "I'm holding you to that"
● a couple months later when she thinks you've proven yourself she sets two plates of food in front of you guys
● "what's this?"
● "we're on a date"
● "I thought you weren't going to go out with me until we found the one piece?"
● "I changed my mind now start eating before I change it again"
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Sanji -
● He is very confident and makes it known he likes you the moment you meet
● He flirts with you the entire time you're eating in the baratie
● "Anything else I can get for you cutie? I've been told I make a mighty fine dessert, that is unless you want me for dessert instead"
● "just the check please sweet talker"
● he brings the check to you with his number written on the bottom
● "just so you know I do accept tips in the form of a date"
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Zoro -
● no matter how much Luffy points out to Zoro that he likes you he refuses to acknowledge his feelings for you
● It's not until you get critically hurt in a fight that he finally admits to himself that he likes you
● you've been unconscious for days and he never leaves your side while you're recovering
● you wake up to him sitting at your bedside and you've never seen him look this worried
● "thank God I thought I lost you"
● "you saying you care about me Zoro?"
● "yes Y/N, I care you about you a lot so please don't do that to me again"
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Usopp -
● always brings you flowers and little trinkets
● "I saw this in town and thought you'd like it"
● names one of his slingshot moves after you
● all around gentleman trying to woo you
● Zoro "you know he likes you right"
● "of course I know, I just think it's sweet how hard he tries"
● the first time you kiss him on the cheek to thank him for your gift he blushes so hard and nearly faints
● he goes around proudly telling everyone that you kissed him and that he's your boyfriend now
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Buggy -
● puts on an entire show for you
● pulling out all of his best jokes and stunts
● making the crowd cheer extra hard
● he does a huge speech throughout the entire performance about how you two could conquer the world together
● and how he needs you by his side to be the best pirate he can be
● for his final trick he uses his powers to send his hand up to you with a bouquet of flowers
● "what do you say Y/N? Want to be my co captain?"
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Shanks -
● whenever he's in town he tells you stories of his adventures over drinks at the bar
● and always gives you part of his treasure that his crew found on their recent voyage as gifts
● "You're really giving me this? Do you know how valuable it is?"
● "There's no treasure in this world that I value more than you"
● "well Shanks it sounds like you're trying to tell me that you like me"
● "I would travel the entire ocean for you my dear Y/N and I would love if you joined me on my next adventure"
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Mihawk-
● Literally kills a guy for you
● you're complaining about some jerk you ran into at the bar
● he mumbles "he shall pay for disrespecting my Y/N" and excuses himself
● he returns a little bit later with the guys decapitated head in his hand and blood on his shirt
● "you said you had a problem with this guy so I killed him in your honor"
● "Oh thats… sweet"
● "I knew you'd be impressed. So, dinner?"
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Cabaji -
● always tries to look cool in front of you
● doing tricks on his unicycle
● like riding it through a flaming hoop
● or having you stand on his shoulders while he cycles around the ring
● or putting someone on the spinning wheel and throwing knives at them landing impossibly close to their skin
● "that was cool wasn't it Y/N"
● "sure was Cabaji"
● "So what do you say you and I get drinks together sometime?"
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bluexiao · 2 years
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#babe?! that ain’t my name? i mean… it is but—
—when you call them by their name and not by an endearment after being together for a long time 
CHARACTERS. Aether, Albedo, Al-Haitham, Ayato, Childe, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Il-Dottore, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Pantalone, Scaramouche, Tighnari, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli; gn! Reader 
THEMES. established relationship; fluff; just them reacting; kinda suggestive on scara, kazuha & cyno’s part (if you look at it that way lmao) 
NOTES. fighting against a rodent while writing this long piece. i deserve an award me thinks. 
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ZHONGLI
Would notice in an instant. Even if you intended it or not, he will immediately ask “Is there something the matter, love?”
He’d be more worried over the fact that there must be something that’s bothering you, which prompted your mood to turn sour. 
He’d also try to think if something happened earlier on, trying to recall if he had done something or if you’d been like this since early on. 
Nothing really gets past him so he will know the truth by the end of the day, as much as possible, even if you were pranking him. If you were, he wouldn’t mind, as long as you are doing alright. 
Though he’ll most likely tease you after that. 
“Ah, I see… You’re getting foxy by the day, darling.” 
XIAO
Sends you a look but wouldn’t say a single word.
Would immediately think if he had done something wrong or if you’d finally gotten sick of him or something. Poor babe. 
He has this cute frown on his lips and sometimes, he opens them, thinking he should ask you or something but would stop himself. 
What if you’re merely in a foul mood? Most humans act like this when they feel unwell. 
You’ll just know how affected he is by how he stiffens and ponders on this on his own, or if he feels even more worried, he will get out of your way, thinking he’s just a nuisance or something. 
You might have to apologize very well afterward, even if you choose not to tell him that it is a prank. Kiss him and cuddle him while you reassure him that he did nothing wrong, please. The arms that are wrapped on your waist are a testament to how much he needed that. 
VENTI 
You better pray he doesn’t notice or he’ll immediately retaliate. 
But no matter what your prayers are unless he is drunk, he would instantly hear how his name left your lips ever so casually. 
“Windblume, you have to take that back! I’m not Venti!—well, not for you!” 
He’d go into the theatrics, I advise you shouldn’t really do this prank while you two are outside, or else other people will give you both weird glances at his… dramatic “performance”. 
THOMA
He is observant, but he did not want to pry much as well. 
Would give you your space (because he’s a gentleman like that), but if you seem like you’re not really angry at him… he’d be utterly confused. 
“Babe,” he calls you, probably emphasizing the word too much, “are you perhaps… intentionally not calling me the same way you usually would?” “I mean… not that I mind but… well, I do mind.” 
Will make sure that you don’t feel guilty whatsoever—the poor man probably doesn’t even know it’s a prank. 
TIGHNARI
He notices it but he’d think that it’s merely because you’re not in the mood on that specific day, so he tries to not speak about it.. at first, ignoring it and going back to what he was previously preoccupied with. 
As someone who can talk a lot with himself, he will be able to take his mind off of your little stunt for a bit. Actually, he may be too busy to even realize that you may just be pranking him. 
That is until he realizes that you’ve been calling his name continuously and with emphasis, even—something is definitely wrong. 
“Tighnari! Tighnari! What is this mushroom called again? Tighnari?” 
He supposes he had let you indulge in your trick for a long time already, and enough is enough. 
He turns around and instead of reaching for the mushroom, he takes your hand in his. Looking your way and waiting until your gaze meets his—it already was. 
“Are you enjoying yourself, love? I suppose you are, aren’t you?” 
SCARAMOUCHE
Crunches his forehead and glares at you. Immediately. 
Preposterous! Who said you could call him by his name? 
But honestly… whatever stunt you’re pulling at, he doesn’t like it one bit, and he’d act like it. Actually, his actions are very… very him. 
Immediately, he’d pull you onto his lap and nuzzle his face on your neck, inhaling your scent, and just as your face was heating up with this action, you could hear his low voice, lips directly over your ear. 
“Who? I don’t know who you’re talking about. Nope, I am not Scaramouche, try again, darling.” 
PANTALONE
This is a call to bring you another gift. 
You probably will receive the gift first before you could even say that it’s all a prank, chill. 
He may not take it as an offense, actually. He’s more so finding you adorable for this and thinks how much of a sly fox you are. 
Though you’ll have to be careful with how many times you’ll tease this man, his patience is not that very far when it comes to having someone up to him on something. Even you. 
KAZUHA
Probably already knows it’s a prank but will still let you indulge in teasing him… at least, a few times. Of course, it’s also a precaution in case you really are pissed and he’s just overreading it. 
If he’s already sure that you’re just toying with him, of course, he will make sure to set everything straight. 
He knows very well that as long as he doesn’t address this with you, you will continue to call him as such. He can’t have that, can he?! 
“I appreciate you calling my name, dove,” he’d reach for your hand and raise it to kiss its back, eyes looking straight at you with a small smirk playing on his lips, “but the game’s over, love, I’ve already caught up to your intentions. What do you say about stopping the charades so we could go and excuse ourselves for today, hm? 
KAEYA
“Love, I don’t suppose that’s what you should call me, hm? No worries, I will let you go for now.”
Will be very teasing, willing to make you suffer after almost making him suffer a heart attack—but really, at first he thought that he was in trouble or that you were somehow in a bad mood to even see him or anyone else. 
But after observing you—oh my, you don’t look like in a bad mood at all, he was definitely a hundred percent sure that you were merely pranking him. 
Thus, you surely wouldn’t mind if he’d do the same, would you? 
ITTO
Contrary to belief, he doesn’t react as soon as he hears his name. Though he definitely notices it, especially with how he instantly whips his head and gazes your way. 
“Babe, what do you think about going out?” he asks, emphasizing how he called you with an endearment. “Yeah, sure, Itto. I don’t mind.” 
Okay, now it’s war! 
He’d pester you to bits. You’d start to regret even playing the prank on him. 
IL DOTTORE
Now it’s really fine for you to call his name, his real name. But calling him with his Fatui name? That is odd… but not entirely impossible. 
He knows you very well, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise if you’re teasing him, much like the other times you would. Though not as usual, of course, that doesn’t leave out the possibility that this is one of those times. 
So he lets you try. It’s nice to see you try… but would you be able to make him react? He’s quite curious as well. 
HEIZOU
“Hm? What is this?” he’d mutter to himself. “Huh? What was that, Heizou?” you’d ask after hearing him mutter something but did not clearly know what it was. Did he notice, perhaps?  
Of course, he did! He wouldn’t be hailed the best detective in town if he hadn’t, would he? 
And besides… you’ve done this multiple times… prank him and such. And he the same. This is nothing new to him. 
Furthermore, two can play the game. 
“I mean, I don’t know, Y/n, care to explain to me?” “What should I explain to you, Heizou?” “Y/n, I know you know what I’m talking about.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Heizou. 
Y’all are both petty, a match made from heaven. This will probably go on the whole day. 
GOROU
He has a keen hearing, and also a fragile heart. 
You’d think he just didn’t hear it but his ears were pointed downward seconds after and he had become… a bit nervous with the tone of his voice. 
“Gorou? Is something wrong ba-” you halted, realizing your mistake, “Is something wrong?” You repeated the question, however, he already caught on. 
“Love… a-are you… mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” 
(How dare you hurt this baby istg) 
You’d most likely cave in from how your heart was wrenching over his reaction. 
DILUC
He does not mind, but it did bother him a bit. 
Were you mad? Did something happen for you to act so unusually? 
He’s a bit of a worrier, you see... Well, maybe too much. 
“Darling, is there something wrong? Would you like to rest a bit?” 
Literally the sweetest. The moment that he’d begin to even comprehend that there might be something or someone bothering you or that you feel uncomfortable for even a second, he’ll be wiling to eradicate it quickly. 
If he learns that it is merely a prank of yours, he’d merely raise a brow, thinking that such pranks even exist, and merely brush it off. Well, it’s good that you’re okay though. 
DAINSLEIF
He did not particularly mind whatever you call him. (this man is built different, wbk)
He sees nothing wrong with it, and even if you were teasing him, it was not like he was faking his reaction–he did not mind.
You’ll get nothing from him, istg. 
Well, maybe except for the way he’d squeeze your hand whenever you initiated holding his—sure, maybe it’s a simple gesture, you supposed it was his way of showing his affection despite your teasing. 
CYNO
He did not mind it… at first. 
But if you continue to call him by his name, he’ll definitely feel that there is something suspicious going on. However, it is far more than likely that you’re just teasing him, just like how you usually would, trying to see what reaction you’d be able to pull from him and so on. 
He knew you that much, and if you think he’ll let you tease him, you are gravely mistaken. 
Though usually, he’d just ignore them, he figured that this time, he’d try something different. The opposite, even. 
“Love… are you doing this on purpose?” Anyone else would've trembled under the gaze of his scarlet eyes—but you weren’t just anyone, and by the way he played with your fingers, you knew right away that your boyfriend wasn’t really mad. 
“Perhaps… I shall make you remember the consequences of teasing me like this, Y/n?” 
CHILDE
Did you really think you could get away from this? 
Of course, not! It’s a match at this point! Who says he wouldn’t fire back?
“Bab–I mean, Y/n,” he clears his throat, “today is such a lovely day, isn’t it? Ah, I’d love a drink right now, what do you think bab–I mean, Y/n?” 
“Ah, why is this so hard,” he’d complain with a mutter under his breath. He’d been too far used to calling you with an endearment that he forgets to even intentionally call your name as revenge. 
AYATO
What a sly trick you have there. And of course, he did notice it. 
No matter, it was not like it pained him, nor did he think that it was wrong of you to call him by just his name and not any endearment you’d usually do, or maybe the usual “my lord” with a hint of slyness in your voice. 
Still, it was quite entertaining for you to even try to rile him up. 
So what does he do? Does the same. 
“Hm? What did you say, Y/n? I can’t hear you when you’re that far… Y/n.” 
ALHAITHAM 
He figured at first that you were just testing the waters, seeing what he’d do or say. He knew your intentions but not the full of it. 
It was quite an easy guess, actually. It would have been because you’ve hung out with him for far too long that you began to experiment and research about trivial things such as this—which mostly focused on him though. 
Honestly, he’d find it quite endearing—how you’d look at him as if you’re expecting something from him or try to peak with the corner of your eyes or the purse in your lips, trying to suppress a giggle. 
Maybe he’ll let you indulge this time. 
He’d snake his long arms on your sides and lean into your ear, whispering, “Oh? Did you call my name, love?” 
ALBEDO
Frowns but ponders to himself. 
There is a possibility of three separate reasons why you might act like this. 
One, you are pissed at him. 
Two, you might just be pissed in general. 
And three, you are pranking him. 
It really depends on how you had been acting with him throughout your relationship which one weighs the heaviest, but he will still consider the other options, nonetheless. 
He’s smart, he’ll try to observe you at first before he will conclude his observations. Of course, he’ll probably be immersed in solving this mystery, so even if he finds out you were merely pranking him, he will only be relieved that you are not really angry at him. 
Emotions are one thing he finds difficult to handle, which is why it’s even better for you to prank him than be really mad—not that he’ll always let you prank him, but he can let you indulge… sometimes. 
AETHER
Does not mind being called by his name. Actually, he’d be even more concerned about your well-being than his own. 
“Are you feeling well? Would you like to rest a bit?” As a traveler himself, he knows how tiring adventuring is, and of course, he’d also have to note that not everyone has the same endurance as him. So when you insist every day that you’d like to join him, it was something he always would be concerned about. 
He’d not even think about you tricking him, for him, whatever you call him was all on your own accord and it’s the same for him. Though if it is unusual for you to call him by his name, of course, he’ll have to consider that there might be something wrong. 
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writingmeraki · 3 months
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here and now.
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a kim mingyu drabble !
pairing : secret!agent!mingyu x secret!agent!reader, established relationship ( they are married )
genre : angsty with fluff :)
warnings : reader is pretty miserable, cussing, cheol is mean but annoying mean, petnames, kissing, unhealthy routines.
author's note : ohhh i can't let go of these two, i rlly jst like this au a lot lol, i wonder if you would want more set in this same au, lmk hehe :) hope you like this !! but also the fact that i have other wips but i can't get this specific couple out of my head ???? very self indulgent bcoz tell me why i want this mingyu with me rn. also third work this month...let's hope we keep balling like that!!!
set in the SAME universe as this !
word count : 1.6k
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The world was miserable.
You wanted to curl up in a ball and just lay in your bed, sleeping until you could no longer differentiate between reality and dreamland.
But alas, you couldn’t. As an agent, sleep to you was like a reward. One would think a need should never be something you get once in a while but, your job was practically making all your essentials feel like rewards. 
Mayhaps not the healthiest, but you were already used to it and your body as well, so you were not truly affected when you couldn’t get any of your essentials. 
Though, you were sure the world felt more miserable because you hadn’t seen him in so long.
Kim Mingyu, the man you married. Your husband.Your other half, your other puzzle piece, your other- you get the point. Six months, twelve days, and ten hours since you last saw him. 
He was gone on a mission that was supposed to take no less than a month, but who were you kidding? Who was your boss kidding? Top priority missions always took up time. 
The thing that still pisses you off is why you weren’t allowed to go with him. 
Apparently, you were needed back in Seoul and not there was the bullshit reason. You spent enough time being annoyed and angry at that, now you just felt terribly upset. Upset without him in your life physically, sure virtually he was one message away, but being on the complete opposite side of the globe also meant time zones were a pain in the ass.
Sighing, you made your way into the tall building disguised as one of the offices but it was where your agency was. You held a cup of coffee, that was just as bitter as your mood, in fact you didn’t even like coffee, but today you felt no point in trying to uplift your mood because the only thing that would was a certain person who you were not even sure when you’d meet. 
It was not you who felt this way, in fact Mingyu was probably feeling worse. Having been someone whose love language was physical affection, it did not feel the same through a fucking screen. He was ready to quit actually, three months into it because he terribly wanted to see you, but you convinced him he’d be back sooner if he finished it. 
You knew you were lying to him and yourself, but you had no choice. This was your duty right? 
The boss’ office was still as peculiar as he was, never failing to amuse you whenever you’d enter and always finding new collections or items decorating it. Today, you saw an art piece that was of the sun and the moon. 
Everything reminded you of him. He was your sun, even your moon too. 
You frowned more at the thought, wondering how the heck were you not able to not think of him for a few minutes. Then again, perhaps being together for more than a decade would do the trick. You’re practically bound permanently by that point. 
Sitting down on the cushion chair in front of Seungcheol, you didn’t even bother greeting him, still in thoughts until you heard a chuckle from in front of you. 
“What’s funny?”
“You look extra miserable today.” 
You glared at the man, annoyance changing into anger with retorts about how he’d feel if he was kept away from his partner for this long, considering he was someone who was pretty boastful about his partner. 
“But- I did not call you for that. I have a special mission for you. And no, I don’t have any updates on Mingyu.”
You groaned at his words, considering what he said was just getting worse and worse as he spoke. 
“For this though, you’ll have someone with you. You’ll be needing another person to complete this task. They should be arriving in a few minutes.” 
“Please don’t be a rookie, I don’t have the patience to deal with one, not right now.” You figured you couldn’t not do it. It was your job after all. But perhaps he’d be a little considerate. 
“Oh don’t worry, I think they are pretty experienced, maybe even more than you.” He grinned but you couldn’t quite put a finger on what he meant. His eyes gleamed with something you couldn’t tell. 
“Just say you hate me, Cheol. It’s easier.” You bitterly spat out, taking a sip of the now cold coffee and frowning in distaste. It seemed it was up to par with your state. 
You leaned back, looking at the watch on your wrist, seeing it’s been a few minutes already and wondering just how long this person would take. 
You tried to pinpoint who it possibly was, but you were never good with names of people you might have seen in passing. That was more of Mingyu’s thing, he always remembered the forgettable things. 
The sound of the door opening was what made you perk up. You sat a little straighter, feeling like perhaps you shouldn’t make it outwardly obvious to the entire population how you were truly feeling. 
Seeing the chair pull, you didn’t bother looking besides you, feeling that seeing them from the corner of your eye was enough. They were a little further from you, but you could tell they were quite…large? They were wearing a cap and a mask, practically their entire body was covered with a black coat. It was suspicious and you just wondered if this was just an excuse for Seungcheol to have you murdered in a discreet way. 
Seokmin…? No, he's almost my height, probably Chan? 
You didn’t even realise the person had taken your coffee, pulled off their mask,took a sip of it and almost spat it out. 
“Baby this is actually so disgusting, since when did you drink this?” 
Wait.
You recognised that voice. 
He kept the cup back down on the table in front of you, wearing that very very familiar ring on his left ring finger. 
You think your brain short circuited at that very moment. 
Now you knew why Seungcheol had a sly grin. 
The fucker planned this. 
In all his glory, Kim Mingyu sat beside you, now seeing no point in wearing the cap, he tossed it off and threw it on the table. He shuffled his hair, which was now longer than you last saw it.
“Missed me?” He had the audacity to say that with his stupid canines peaking out, wearing that stupid grin that made you feel giddy all over and the stupid glint in his eyes that shone as he took you in.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Mingyu for making you feel like throwing up in all mixes of emotions. 
So in the mix of it, you just remained frozen. Eyes blank, nothing on your face physically to indicate any emotion. 
“I’ll leave you two…just don’t do…stuff.” Seungcheol retorted and your hands itched to strangle him. 
Before you could even comprehend you were now alone, you felt your chair being pulled to face him. Your mind still in disbelief and conflict.
“Hi.” He spoke gently, his hands now reaching towards yours and grasping them. It had been way too long since he smelt your signature perfume, held your hands in his with the same intensity, felt your touch. He thinks he might just die in peace now. 
“I’m just trying to figure out if I’m dreaming.” You murmured as you blinked slowly at him, still unmoving even though he now was bent down and closer to you.
The grin on his face widened as he leaned in, and next thing you know, you felt his lips on yours. 
Familiar…just like…home. 
He pulled back, still smiling as he softly laughed, “Real enough, darling?”
Mingyu wasn’t someone who was caught off-guard easily but he was the moment you launched forward and wrapped your arms around him. He yelped as he held you, surprisingly not toppling over.
You didn’t even grasp you were full on sobbing at that point, your entire body shaking and held you even more tightly. He stood up, one arm around your waist and the other gently rubbing your back. 
“I’m here now, I’m here.” He whispered softly as his hand caressed your hair, you moved your arms to wrap them over his shoulder as you placed your head in the crook of his neck. 
“i-i really-” missed you. I felt incomplete without you. I just…I really missed you. I really fucking love you.
You wanted to say as cheesy as it may have sounded, but cheesiness be darned you couldn’t hold back, not when the time apart made you realise that it didn’t matter if it was just another way of showing your love for him. You also realised Kim Mingyu deserved all possible ways of showing your love for him.
“I know, ‘s okay baby, I know.” You only sobbed harder as you pulled back, not caring how you looked, probably a whole mess with red eyes and tears all over, his arms were still around you as you held his face with both hands. 
He was there. You thought as you caressed his cheeks. He was there. You thought as he looked at you like he’d finally found his treasure,eyes twinkling, smiling at you.
And he was there, right there, with you as you tilted your head up, closing your eyes and placing your lips on his. 
Because no matter what or how long, Kim Mingyu would always find his way back to you, his other forever half. 
And oh, you’d make sure he was never apart from you from then on. Not even for a day. 
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all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.
writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024
feedback is always appreciated 💌
links : main navi ! | svt masterlist !
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fanonical · 2 months
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look people who've been around here for a while know exactly how i feel about the early doctor who serial edge of destruction but i rewatched it recently and i have feelings
so edge of destruction is the third ever serial of doctor who, right? it's an unearthly child, the daleks, then edge of destruction. and it's also kind of a bottle episode. edge of destruction is a two-parter, and is set entirely on the tardis featuring only the main cast
the plot is weird. everyone wakes up in the tardis with confusion and memory loss, not knowing what's going on. the tardis isn't safe, and strange things are happening. the ship seems to be malfunctioning, but there's nothing notably wrong with it. everyone's freaking out and accusing each other of sabotaging the tardis or hurting each other
now, as i said, this is early doctor who. companions barbara and ian had been kidnapped by the doctor and susan so they don't tell anyone that time travel is real, and at this point they don't trust the doctor and the doctor doesn't trust them. the doctor immediately starts accusing barbara and ian of sabotaging the ship to force him to take them home, which they angrily refute. they've spent the last two stories saving the doctor and susan from whatever's trying to kill them
barbara has a speech here which is brilliant and i can quote verbatim. 'do you realise, you stupid old man, that you'd have died in the cave of skulls if ian hadn't made fire for you? and what about what we went through against the daleks? not just for us, but for you and susan too. and all because you tricked us into going down to the city. accuse us? you ought to go down on your hands and knees and thank us! but gratitude's the last thing you'll ever have, or any sort of common sense either'
and the doctor spends the whole two episodes either accusing ian and barbara of being evil or being wholly unhelpful. (he straight up drugs everyone with a sedative at one point!) yeah, turns out the tardis is trying to tell them what's wrong via cryptic clues, and barbara's putting the pieces together. and the doctor still doesn't listen to her! she's so close to figuring it out and saving them all - they're all gonna die in about ten minutes and the doctor's basically given up, but barbara's trying to solve the problem
and in the end, they have the eureka moment and get out of trouble, but barbara's still understandably pissed. that is, until the doctor takes the time to apologise to her and tell her that yeah, she was right and he's sorry he didn't listen to her and he's going to do better to respect her opinions in future. they go into the next serial as friends, a first for the series to that point
so why do i love this weird little two-parter so much? because it is the moral centre of modern doctor who. this is the start of the characterisation of the doctor that we know and love. before this, the doctor is ruthless! he tries to kill a guy with a rock! he sabotages the tardis to satisfy his curiosity and lands everyone in danger from the daleks! he drugs them just because he doesn't trust them! he thinks he's smarter, better, and more important than the people he travels with
but then barbara stands up to him. she tells him that, no, she and ian are important too. and no, they're worth listening to. and yes, they can help and are worth something. and that's important, because barbara and ian are way more compassionate than the doctor is at this point. they want to help people they come across even if it means putting their own lives in danger.
sound familiar? yeah, the doctor's whole thing of helping everyone they come across and compassion towards everyone starts here. this is one of the most enduring things about the doctor and it would never have happened without barbara telling the doctor he's full of shit
and it's all because he listened to an ordinary woman
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coolshadowtwins · 2 months
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Scum Villain au where Shen Jiu finds out about what happened to YQY some other way than just being told by the man himself.
How? Not important. Maybe he pressured MQF and SQH until they both gave the pieces they knew and put this together. Maybe he found paperwork about it. Maybe YQY did tell him, but he was drunk or drugged or something and so he doesn’t remember telling.
The point of this post is I think it would be funny if SJ, mostly having forgiven YQY but still angry that he just didn’t tell him the truth for years, let’s YQY suffer for a little long. He wasn’t necessarily overly mean to him anymore, but he does now just say things to see what YQY would do.
Like, if it was between me or LQG, who would you choose? Hm? What if I murdered someone hmmm? What if I spent all your money, hmmmmmm?
What SJ was trying to do was stress YQY out (ok, part of it was him seeing where he stood now but shh), but YQY only gets a little stressed at the problems his answers would cause SJ. Because he totally would chose SJ over anyone! But that would make people angry at SJ. He would help cover up a murder, but SJ could be sent to jail! He would give SJ any money he wanted, but the sect might not be happy with either of them?
SJ learns very quickly how high up he still is in YQY’s eyes. It makes him feel powerful. He also learns very quickly that if he really, really wanted something, all he had to do is call YQY Qi-Ge and YQY folds immediately.
He uses that one a lot, when others couldn’t see. He still has a reputation to uphold after all.
YQY, meanwhile, has no idea what’s happening. He has no idea why SJ is suddenly being so nice to him. There’s no way that he has forgiven him, after all, so it has to be something else?
He starts to think that SJ is either about to leave the sect or dying. Both terrify him. YQY drags a very unwilling SJ to MQF immediately.
When it’s clear that he isn’t dying, YQY thinks that SJ is about to leave the sect. He panics, and does the first thing he could think of- Ask SJ if YQY could leave the sect with him. (He asks this in front of MQF, who does not want to be an audience for this.)
SJ is flattered that YQY would leave the sect with him. He takes it as a wedding proposal. (He has forgotten that YQY never knew that SJ knew about the caves and the sword)
YQY doesn’t know when they got engaged, or why a wedding was happening, but he is not complaining. The night before the wedding, YQY breaks down and tells SJ about everything. SJ panics, and not wanting YQY to know that he has know for at least a year at this point and had just been messing with him, acts like this is entirely new information! Wow, YQY, that sure was awful! I am so angry about this information that I’ve never heard of before.
LQG thinks that SJ had tricked YQY into marrying him. Or that YQY had very bad taste.
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roosterforme · 2 months
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The Younger Kind Part 57 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley gets home in time to take care of you when you need him the most, and he's ready to push aside his own exhaustion to let Noah celebrate Halloween. Announcements and plans are made, including some that you're looking forward to a lot more than Bradley is.
Warnings: pregnancy topics, mentions of miscarriage, swearing, smutty blowjob, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4100 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
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When Noah woke up on Halloween, he made his way into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as he went. Then he stopped short next to the table. "Daddy?"
Bradley spun around to see his son standing there in disbelief. "Hey, Bub," he said as a smile bloomed across his face. "I missed you." He knelt down, and Noah immediately trotted across the room and right into his open arms. "I made it back just in time to go trick-or-treating with you."
He kissed Noah's cheek and buried his nose in his son's soft curls, inhaling the scent of home. "We're all going to go," Noah said with conviction. "Even Skittles has a costume. And Aunt Natasha is going to get one, too. She promised."
"Then I guess it will be a party," Bradley told him, deciding now wasn't the best time to mention that you may rather spend the evening in bed. "Are you hungry?" he asked, standing up with his son in his arms, simply because he wasn't ready to stop holding him. "Do you want pancakes?"
Bradley knew it was bad when a four year old looked at you like he was convinced anything you tried to cook would be inedible. "Can Mommy make them?"
"Wow," Bradley said, trying not to laugh. He was pretty convinced five minutes ago that he'd be able to follow the directions on the box, but maybe not. "Do you really think Mommy is that much better at cooking than I am?"
"Yes. She is. Can she make the pancakes?"
Bradley laughed and kissed his cheek again. "How about I give it the old college try since Mommy is still sleeping, okay?" He held Noah while he measured out the water, but when it was time to crack an egg, he set him down at the table with a glass of milk and an activity book that you or Nat must have got for him. He looked at the egg, not quite trusting himself, and he cracked it into a bowl instead directly into the pancake mix. He ended up picking pieces of the shell out of the bowl, but once he started to stir everything together, it looked pretty damn good. 
"Okay," he muttered, wondering if you'd want to eat breakfast in bed if he managed to pull this off. He should order one of those tray tables for you to use. He dumped some of the batter into the hot pan and started to look online for a purple tray when he got a little distracted. 
"Daddy," Noah said, pointing to the stove as soon as Bradley smelled the pancake starting to burn.
"Shit," he muttered under his breath, setting his finally fully charged phone aside. "It's okay, I'll eat this one," he promised, flipping it over with a spatula to reveal a blackened, smoking mess. Now he paid close attention to what he was doing, and the next ones turned out pretty well, but it was too late.
"What did you burn?" you asked from the doorway with a smile. When Bradley tossed the spatula aside and rushed to your side, you said, "For a minute there, I thought it was all a dream, and that you weren't really home yet at all. But then I smelled something burning and knew you must be."
He wrapped one arm around your waist, tilted your chin up with his fingers and kissed you, hoping to convey just how badly he had missed you. He didn't stop until Noah asked, "Mommy, can you make the pancakes?"
"Let's let Mommy rest," Bradley replied, stroking your neck with his fingertips. "Do you want me to bring a plate of food into the bedroom?" he asked you.
You shook your head and whispered, "I'm okay. I might take a nap later, but I'm fine, Daddy." Then you took his hand gently in yours and brought it to rest on your belly. "So is this little one."
"I wouldn't have blamed you," he blurted out, and you tucked your face against his chest. As your arms snaked around his waist, he said, "I would have been sad, but only because I'm so excited for the baby. But I wouldn't have blamed you or been upset with you, Princess."
You nodded and whispered, "I know. It was so scary though. And I don't think I could have gone much longer without you here."
"I'm home. And I'm cooking and doing everything. You've got nothing to worry about."
"Mommy, please," came Noah's exasperated voice. "The pancakes."
You started laughing against Bradley. "Do you want dinosaur pancakes?" you asked, and Noah gasped in delight. "I'll take that as a yes. Step aside, Daddy. Watch and learn."
But he didn't step aside. He stood behind you with his chin resting on your shoulder and told you over and over again how much he loved you while you prepared the most adorable breakfast he'd ever seen in his life. You cut up a pancake to look like a stegosaurus body and added spikes made out of sliced strawberries. You used part of a banana as the neck, and added chocolate chips as eyes. 
"Damn," Bradley said. "That's almost as cute as you are. Can I have one, too?" Then you cut up the burned pancake and made a much less cute looking dinosaur while he laughed the whole time. "Thanks. That's exactly how I wanted it."
"You're welcome," you told him with a smirk as you took some of the good pancakes for yourself. He guided you over to the table with all of the plates of breakfast, and Noah abandoned his book while he clapped his hands.
"Thank you, Mommy," he said as he shoved some strawberries into his mouth.
Then Bradley guided you down onto his lap and held you while you ate. "It's good to be home. When you're done eating, I want you to get back in bed and wait for me," he whispered, tracing your side gently with his fingers while he stuck his fork into his burnt dinosaur pancake.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you said softly. "We can't do that. Not for a few more weeks. The doctors said my uterus has to thicken a bit more, and I-"
"Baby," Bradley said a little louder. "No. Don't apologize. I don't care about that. I want you to rest, but I also want to show you the books I bought in Tokyo."
You looked at him over your shoulder, and he kissed your cheek. "I want you to know that I did miss you that way, too."
"I missed you in every way imaginable, Princess."
-----------------------
Bradley ended up carefully carrying you to bed as you yawned, and he promised to clean up the kitchen and get things ready for Halloween.
"I want you to relax," he said for at least the tenth time as he dug around in his still unpacked duffle bag. "I'll take Noah out to buy some pumpkins in a little bit, and I'll leave you a sandwich in the fridge that you can eat when you want it. But in the meantime, look how cool these are."
He sat on the edge of the bed next to your thigh and handed you a stack of Japanese children's books. You smiled and looked at the covers. They ranged from some meant for a baby to ones that Noah would be interested in when he started school. "You were really thinking about your family the whole time, huh?"
"Every second I was gone," he promised, leaning down to kiss you. He would take care of everything, and Nat promised she'd come back later, and you really did almost feel like you could relax. But you still felt a little guilty even as he ran his lips and mustache along your cheek to your ear and whispered your name.
"You must be exhausted and jetlagged," you told him. "You're the one who should be resting."
He just shook his head, kissed you one more time and said, "I'll call Nat if I need her. Otherwise, I'm perfect because I'm with you. Rest."
Then he was gone, and you drifted off into the kind of beautiful sleep where you didn't have to worry about what time it was or when Noah needed to eat again. When you woke up after noon to a completely silent house, you ate your sandwich and then went right back to bed. Eventually Noah's laughter and the warm afternoon light that seemed impossible to sleep through had you out of bed again, but when you looked around the house, you didn't see anyone. The back door was open, and when you went into the kitchen, you saw Bradley and Noah carving pumpkins on the deck.
You walked outside in the random clothing you'd been sleeping in, and as soon as the sun hit your face, you didn't feel as exhausted anymore. "Mommy's up!" Noah cheered, jumping up to hug you with his slimy, orange hands. 
"Don't touch her until you wash your hands, Bub," Bradley called out with a grimace. "Too late."
"It's okay," you told him, kissing the top of Noah's head. "Are you happy Daddy made it home in time for Halloween?"
He looked up at you with a little crease along his brow. "I knew he would. That's why we bought him a costume."
"Speaking of which," Bradley said as he kissed your cheek without putting his messy hands on you, "it's almost time to get changed to go collect candy."
"And ride in the wagon!" Noah exclaimed.
"What wagon?" you asked.
"You'll see," Bradley replied with a little smirk. 
After a leisurely shower during which you didn't have to worry about anything except yourself, you dressed in your princess costume that you and Noah picked out from the Halloween warehouse and put on some makeup. Then you added your brand new crown, and you thought you looked pretty incredible. When you walked out to the living room and saw Noah dressed as a little prince, your heart melted. 
"Sweet Noah," you gushed as he held onto his treat bag, all ready to go. He was wearing his yellow paper crown that Bradley managed to procure from some unknown spot in the house, and he just looked precious. 
"I like your crown, Mommy," he said, pointing to the gold one you were wearing.
You smiled. "I like my purple paper crown better."
"Don't laugh." You turned to see Bradley standing behind you in his rather ill fitting knight costume. It kind of looked like he was wearing aluminum foil that was a size too small, but he had a smile on his face, and his costume crinkled when you hugged him. "Hey, Mav and Penny are planning to stop by to take some photos with Noah, but if you want me to call them back and tell them we just want a quiet evening, I can do that."
You shook your head against his crunchy costume as you laughed. "We should tell them about the baby when they get here."
"Yeah?" he asked excitedly. "You want to?"
"I mean, Nat and Javy know. Dr. Kelly knows. I think Mav and Penny should know now, too."
"I love this idea," he whispered, letting his fingers gently glide along the front of your dress. "You're feeling better now?"
You nodded, but Noah didn't really let you answer before he started clapping as he looked out the front door. "Aunt Natasha is back!" 
She walked in dressed as a jester and picked Noah up to give him a kiss. A minute later, Maverick, Penny and Amelia were all there as well, and phones were being passed around along with Noah, because everyone wanted their picture with the tiny prince. 
"Okay, let me take one of everyone in front of the pumpkins on the porch," Bradley said as he collected a few phones in his hands and headed outside. He smirked at you as he added, "Everyone needs to squeeze together a little bit more. Make sure both of my kids are in there."
"Both?" Penny asked before she gasped, and the first photo Bradley took was of her turning to look at you with wide eyes. "Both?!"
"I'm pregnant," you announced with a smile, and the second photo Bradley took was of everyone else with wide eyes, too. And he snapped a few more where Nat was holding Noah with a grin on her face while the others all hugged you.
----------------------------
After a brief argument on your end, Bradley managed to get you and Noah both settled into the oversized wagon he bought earlier this afternoon. Then he clipped Skittles' leash on before attaching her tiny crown to her head. "There we go. The royal family is now complete."
"Have fun!" Nat called out, waving from the front porch with the bowl of candy, already crowded with neighborhood kids looking for their treats. 
"I don't need to be pulled in a wagon all night," you protested as Bradley scoffed.
"What kind of knight would I be if I wasn't doting on the two of you." Skittles barked, so he added, "I meant the three of you."
"Four," you said, pointing to your belly as he pulled the wagon down the driveway. 
"My point is," he said loudly, "I will be doting on my entire family all night long, and there's nothing you can do about it. Please keep your arms and legs inside the royal carriage until we come to a complete stop."
He very dutifully pulled up to each house before lifting Noah out and taking him up to collect his piece of candy. Bradley got the chance to enjoy so many of his neighbors telling him how sweet his son looked, and he kept reminding Noah to say thank you. After about an hour, two treat bags had been filled up with candy, and you looked like you were having fun. You even started waving from the wagon at everyone you passed like a real princess would.
"This is really fun," you said, holding on to Noah as Bradley turned another corner. 
"I love Halloween!" his son shouted. 
Truthfully, it was a bit of a challenge for Bradley to pull the wagon, keep Skittles from barking at the other kids, and take Noah up to each house and back, but he wasn't about to complain. Not after everything you'd done and been through while he was in Japan. But he would sleep well tonight. That was a given. 
"I think this was the last house," Bradley said, stifling his own yawn. "Feel like chatting about our wedding on the way back home?" he asked as Noah yawned as well and settled down in the wagon with you.
It was hard to read your face in the darkness. "What do you want to chat about?" you asked softly.
"How soon will you let me marry you?"
You laughed and said, "How soon do you want to get married?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Hmm," you hummed. "Seems like that would be short notice for wedding guests."
"We don't need wedding guests," he said, and he meant it. "You still want to use our backyard?"
"Yes."
Bradley slowed down over a particularly uneven part of the sidewalk. "Are you still set on Valentine's Day?  Because I'm thinking Christmas."
"Christmas?" you repeated. "Like less than two months from now?"
Bradley pulled the wagon up the driveway past the Bronco, and of course Noah was sound asleep. As soon as he scooped his son off of your lap, Nat came rushing over from her seat on the porch. "I can get him changed and put him in bed."
He didn't argue with her, rather he handed Noah off and focused on helping you out of the wagon. "Yeah. Less than two months from now. I keep thinking about how you threw me a Christmas in July birthday party. We could have a Christmas wedding, too. And after that, we can start the adoption process."
You moaned his name as he took your hand and headed for the house. "You know the way to my heart is through Noah."
He straightened out your crown, still rather fond of your purple one which was sitting safely on his dresser. "Is that a yes?" he whispered, kissing you softly while a few remaining kids ran down the sidewalk laughing. "We can make it official? And I can take care of you forever?"
"Yes."
------------------------------
Bradley helped you out of your princess costume after he stripped out of his knight costume, and his lips met the bare skin of your shoulder immediately. "I love you," he murmured, taking you by the hand and leading you toward the bed. But it didn't feel sexual. You knew that wasn't why he was being exceptionally wonderful right now.
"I love you, too."
His forehead came to rest against yours, and his hands were so gentle on your hips. "I'm just relieved to be home. And I'm sorry I wasn't here last week. If something worse had happened to you while I was gone, when you really needed me, I don't know what I would have done."
"We're all okay," you whispered, pushing him until he was sitting down on the bed looking up at you. "And I feel a lot better since I've been resting more." Your skin felt warm and tingly as he kissed you. Six weeks was a long time, and you knew Bradley hadn't even had access to all of the photos and videos on his phone to keep him company. And you did want it to feel sexual, because you missed every bit of him.
"Lay back on your pillow and wait for me," you told Bradley with a smile, using his words against him. 
He did as he was told and patted the spot next to him as he said, "Does that mean you're ready to snuggle with me?"
"Something like that, Daddy."
As soon as you licked your lips and reached for the front of his sweatpants, his eyes went wider. "No, Baby. You don't have to do that."
"I want to," you promised, pulling the fabric down to reveal his soft length. He still looked delicious even like this. You desperately wanted him in your mouth. You met his eyes and whispered, "Please?"
He was panting softly, the rise and fall of his chest so alluring even through his undershirt. He moaned your name and made a strangled sound before he reached for your hand. When he sat up slowly and kissed you gently, he placed your hand on his cock, and he immediately throbbed for you. 
As you rubbed your thumb down his length and along his balls, he grew harder. "You missed me touching you like this," you sang in a quiet voice, watching him as he watched your hand. When his eyes flitted back to your face he nodded. "Tell me you did, Bradley."
He swallowed hard, and his voice was so raspy, your hand faltered. "I missed you like this. I thought about your body when I touched myself, but my hands aren't as soft and perfect as yours."
"Daddy," you whimpered, leaning down to kiss away his precum before taking him between your lips.
But he continued on as you sucked, driving you as wild as you were driving him. "I thought about you with a pregnant belly. I thought about how much I'm going to love fucking you when you're big and round. Big because of my baby."
You took him deep, letting him tap the back of your throat as you saw stars along your vision. "Fuck! Princess! I'm not even gonna last."
Slowly, you let your lips glide back up his length, sucking all the way to his tip. "Then just go ahead and come, Daddy. I want you to."
When he collapsed back against the pillow and tucked one arm beneath his head, you took him deep again. He wasn't kidding, because you could see the veins in his neck as his face grew pink, and you knew he was already close. You didn't rush him along, but you bobbed to a pace that left him grabbing at the bedding with his free hand.
"Baby!" he whined, rolling his hips up until you were starting to gag, and then he came. You were sputtering, swallowing him down as quickly as you could as your name fell from his lips over and over again. "Come up here," he demanded, and when you crawled toward him as you licked your lips clean, he gathered you carefully in his arms.
You never felt as loved as you did when you were with him. His body was perfectly warm and everything you had been missing. His voice calmed every part of you. "December," he whispered as he played with your engagement ring. It took you a moment to realize what he meant as he kissed at your lips. "December. We'll get married. We'll all be Bradshaws. Me and you and Noah and the baby. That's all I need."
"And Skittles."
"Please. She's my best non-human friend. It's unspoken."
--------------------------
When Bradley promised to meet you at your lunchtime appointment with your obstetrician on Wednesday, you were a little skeptical. 
"Even if I have to flip off Admiral Simpson and tell him to go fuck himself, I will be there."
You had laughed at the time, but you should have known he wouldn't miss a chance to interrogate your doctor in his flight suit. He stood next to you as you were told to lie back on the table for a pelvic exam, and he kept his eyes on you through the uncomfortable experience, looking down at you like you were the best thing in the world. 
"Does she need another progesterone shot today?" he asked softly as you reached for his hand. "And are you going to monitor her with more appointments? And will we get to see an ultrasound?"
"Yes, yes, and yes." Your doctor looked at you and said, "We'll monitor you more closely even after you're done with the injections. We are going to consider you high risk."
"High risk?" you gasped. "That sounds very bad."
"It's not!" he insisted as he guided you to sit up a little bit. "It just means you and the baby get extra attention."
Bradley looked the doctor in the eye and said, "She wants to go to Disneyland for a day or two. Is that even okay?"
You were ready to pout and tell both of them that you felt fine now. There had been no more blood. You were getting plenty of rest. Then he said the words you'd been hoping to hear. "Disneyland would be fine. Just don't overdo it."
"Yes!" you cheered. "Noah will be so excited! Let's go for Thanksgiving!"
Bradley opened his mouth, and you could tell he wanted to protest, but your doctor started to spread gel on your belly, and then the baby was visible on the screen on the wall when the ultrasound started up. "Oh damn," Bradley whispered, suddenly mesmerized by what he saw as he gripped your hand tighter. "Look at the heartbeat. Look at the baby."
"Does he or she look healthy?" you asked, mesmerized as well.
"Very healthy, but we will keep a close eye on things."
When Bradley walked you back to your car which was parked next to the Bronco, you pulled him to a stop. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and your scrubs rubbed gently against his flight suit. "Will you please let me plan a few days at Disneyland?"
"Two days," he replied immediately, clearly already resigned to his fate. "And you have to stay hydrated. And if you even start to look tired, I'm going to push you around in a wheelchair. And if you say anything hurts, we're leaving immediately."
"Disney!" you practically screamed as you bobbed up and down in his grasp and kissed his cheek. "I can't wait to tell Noah! I'll see you at home later, Daddy."
"I'll pick Noah up along with dinner. When I get home you better have your feet up and a glass of water in your hand."
"I will," you promised, matching his serious expression with one of your own. "I'll be very careful. And I'll plan our little vacation. And you'll take exceptional care of everything else."
"You know I will."
--------------------------
We should all have a Bradley in our lives to let us rest and heal when we need to. That man is going to take care of everything and probably plan a wedding, too. Is Nat also going to Disneyland? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 58
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muchosbesitos · 4 months
Text
not my car!
Tumblr media
pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader
contents: reader gets angry with spider-man, male masturbation
author’s note: i wasn’t planning on making a valentine’s day post (just because i’m a big hater LOL) but i decided to mix these two together, hope y’all enjoy <3
word count: 4.7k
Valentine's Day.
What was supposed to be a day dedicated towards expressing your love towards your friends and others was a day that you'd be stuck at work. Not the holiday had really made a difference towards you, all of it just seeming like a capitalistic ploy to get people to spend more money just to prove who loves each other the most. Or at least that's what you told yourself at the lack of a Valentine once more this year. While it wasn't out the norm for you to spend it alone, you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the reminder of another year without achieving that relationship status.
But despite the fact that you weren't technically anyone's Valentine, you'd still managed to get a date for tonight. You'd joined a dating app in hopes to find a date before tonight months ago, without actually having much luck until a couple days ago. All the men that you'd swiped on were either interested in something completely different from what you were looking for or they were just complete assholes. You'd been talking to a moderately good looking guy with biceps that looked like they could choke you for a while, the two of you making plans to go out tonight before he got caught up in work again. Despite the fact that he was more sarcastic with his sense of humor, you couldn't help but enjoy every joke exchanged and every conversation you two held.
You'd gotten so caught up in the thought of how the date would go tonight, already planning out what outfit you'd be wearing and what type of makeup you'd like to try that you hadn't realized you were starting to run late for work. You quickly finished with getting dressed, making sure to button up your shirt correctly before making your way out of your apartment. "Buenos dias, mija," your elderly neighbor called out, sweeping the floor outside. (good morning) "Buenos dias, señora," you responded back, giving her a small wave once you finished locking up your door. While you usually made it a point to try and have conversation with her, you were already in a rush to get to work on time.
"Come on, baby. Don't fail me now," you pleaded with your car, turning the key on the ignition only to receive a mocking sputter in n response. You took the key out, counting in your head up to three seconds before sticking it back in. You'd gotten used to these little kinks and tricks in the car, learning to adapt quickly to its ways to save yourself some money. Whether it be smacking the dashboard to get it to turn on or simply taking the key out, you were determined on riding the car until it's last minute. You assured yourself that your car was still fine despite the noises that it made while it was driving, almost like every piece of metal inside of it was loose.
And while the car wasn't much, it was one of the few things that you'd be able to claim that belonged to you after you finished paying it off. Your wage had made it difficult to manage living alone with an apartment but it was achievable if you cut back on the amount of expenses that you had. You were simply surviving up at this point, making sure that you weren't spending more than the basic necessities to stay alive so you'd have enough money to be just above the debt line. But while everything else in your life was rented, the car was the one thing that you could be able to claim as your own. Well, after you finished paying it off at the end at the year.
You let out a small groan as you saw that someone else had taken your undesignated designated parking spot. While the parking spots didn't belong to anyone particularly, everyone seemed to have a silent understanding not to infringe on other's spots. You looked around to see if a spot was available before reluctantly pulling out of the workers' parking lot, deciding to just park it out on the street for the day. You opted to park in the back so you wouldn't have to walk the distance, unable to go in through the front door. You went through the motions of clocking in, washing your hands and sanitizing them before making your way over to the counter.
"What can I get for you?" Your voice came out tired as you spoke, the only thought on your mind being what time you would get out of work. "Some service with a smile would be nice," the person retorted, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head. You definitely didn't get paid enough for this shit. You repeated the same question back to them, forcing an unnatural smile to make its way to your face as you waited for their response. "I'll just get a small diet coke," they finally responded, inserting their card into the chip reader. You had half the mind to throw the empty cup at their head for making a big deal out of your customer service for what they'd ordered.
You resisted the urge to test out how good your aim was, opting instead to keep your job for a bit longer. You slid over the cup once you were done filling it up, going back to the register to take any other orders. It was slow, only a couple stragglers making their way inside to get a light breakfast before their shift at work. While Nueva York was known as one of the more dangerous cities to live in with all the villains crawling on the streets, the area of the city that you lived in was moderately calm. Only a few robberies here and there, one or two gang-related homicides. To say that you were used to these slow mornings was an understatement, getting used to seeing tourists' disappointment when this part of the city doesn't meet their level of excitement. 
You headed out for a break outside of the restaurant, unable to stand the smell of grease lingering onto the kitchen. You weren't able to escape the smell much though, the stench clinging onto your clothes like it wanted to remind you of your place. You let out a small groan upon catching another whiff, taking your phone out to check the forecast and a couple of the news just to see if you'd be able to go on your date tonight. It was then when you saw a reporter broadcasting from the building across the restaurant, a man on a hover board playing with a couple bombs like he was juggling at the circus. You felt the impact before you saw it on your screen, the screams making themselves known in the chaos.
You headed over to where the news reporter had been standing just a couple seconds ago, a small crowd already gathered around to get a glimpse of the Green Goblin. The way they spectated around it made it seem like they were expecting for a celebrity to show up, the crowd bursting out into cheers after Spider-Man's red webs came into view. "Get him Spidey!" You heard in the background, the people breaking out into cheers of his name while he made his way over to the Green Goblin. You weren't sure how it was that these people managed to like him one day and dislike him the next, choosing instead to stay quiet and just watch the event unfold.
You looked over at Spider-Man as he dropped down to the floor, a brutal punch from the Goblin sending him rolling on the floor. He seemed to be looking around at the cars parked outside, almost like he was picking one out of a magazine offer to throw at him. 'Not my car, not my car,' was the only thought running through your head like a mantra, watching as Spider-Man approached the vehicles to take his pick for the Green Goblin. You knew that it was selfish, but you figured that the BMW parked next to your car could definitely afford to get it fixed if they were driving that around in these areas of Nueva York.
You let out a small whine as you saw him pick up your car with ease, swinging up to get some leverage on the villain before throwing it full speed ahead at him. All you could do was stare as your car flew in mid air, the people in the crowd only seeming to cheer even louder at how chaotic the fight was starting to become. The ringing in your ears got louder, every part of it blocking out except for the fact that you'd soon be without a car once it made its way back to the ground. The Green Goblin managed to get out of the way before your car hit him, the vehicle hitting the window of the building before slowly starting to make its descent. The shocking asshole didn't even make the shot.
"Can't help but feel bad for the poor loser that owns that car," you heard behind you, a couple of the people standing around making commentary like it was the hottest sports event they'd been to. "Think he's doing them a favor, can you imagine driving a piece of junk like that?" You heard another retort, your annoyance towards the situation growing even further. You glared over at the two of them, though the expression was ignored since their attention was solely locked on the maniac hovering amock on top of the building. You knew that it should be him that your anger is directed towards, but you couldn't help but be angry at Spider-Man for using your car without a care in the world. The way that he handled your property knowing that he couldn't get prosecuted for it just served to anger you even further.
For shock's sake. All you could do is stand there with your mouth agape as your car crashed down to the concrete, a wheel rolling off to the side. You weren't sure if you wanted to burst out into tears or if you wanted to start yelling at the mask-wearing asshole for not even making the shot. You looked over at your car, trying to convince yourself that the damage wasn't that bad. Well.. it might take a couple weeks of overtime but you were sure you could handle it. That was until a large piece of rubble from the building fell onto your car. You were dumbfounded, all you could do was simply blink as your car got crushed into mere metal. And if all the hope that was inside of you hadn't diminished yet, the engine burst out into flames a couple seconds afterwards.
Now you could definitely understand all the slander that J. Jonah Jameson had written about him. Shock, you were thinking of joining the Daily Bugle just to write your own article about him. The fact that your car was basically useless at this point and that you'd still have to continue paying for it kept ringing through your mind, every single outside noise making itself unknown as you looked at the pieces of metal sticking out from underneath the rubble. You were even thinking of getting an oil change soon. Well, not soon. But as soon as you managed to get a bit of disposable money. All the modifications that you'd planned for your car seemed pointless now, the one thing that you would be able to have in your name now destroyed.
The crowd burst out into cheers while you were still in the middle of seething to yourself, your mind calling Spider-Man a flurry of curses as you wrapped your mind around the fact that your car was destroyed. It didn't help that Spider-Man seemed so proud of getting back at the Goblin, stopping by the crowd and taking some pictures. The people immediately rushed over to his side, their phones out as their cameras flashed to try to snap a picture of the elusive hero. You stood off to the side, your arms folded as you waited to give him a piece of your mind. You were determined on getting some form of compensation after he'd fucked up your car, holding him responsible.
"Sorry, did you want a picture? We'll need to make this quick," Spider-Man spoke up when he saw you standing by the side, his large figure seeming more intimating as he stood in front of you. "No, what I want is my goddamn car back! It wasn't a damn ball for you to use! And you didn't even hit him with it!" Your voice came out frantic, more jumpy than you would've liked for it to be. You wanted your voice to portray the anger that you felt, but all you could feel is fear. Fear that you wouldn't have anything to navigate around the city with. "Oh. so you see.. I'm actually protected from anything involving public property. Lo siento," his voice didn't carry any sense of apology as he spoke, infuriating you even further.
"What the shock am i supposed to do with 'lo siento?!' And it wasn't public property, it was my private property!" You continued scolding at him, the annoyance that you felt starting to peek through the fear. "Is it really private property if you haven't finished paying it off yet?" He retorted, leaving you without an argument. He swung away before you had the chance to continue yelling at him, his red webs flashing across the buildings before disappearing completely. You couldn't help but stomp your foot in the ground, getting your phone out to call your insurance company to see what you could figure out about this situation.
"So, according to our system, you ended up getting our cheapest insurance option and unfortunately that means that your plan doesn't cover these types of damages. Your plan only covers Avengers-level threat and well.. the Green Goblin doesn't really qualify as one of those," the woman on the other line spoke up after clicking a few buttons on her computer, a groan threatening to make its way up your throat. She sounded sympathetic enough to the point where you didn't want to start complaining, but you couldn't help the hint of desperation that crawled up your voice when speaking.
"So is there anything else that I can do?" You asked her, your foot anxiously tapping on the sidewalk below you. "Hold on, let me connect you to someone else," she responded, the tapping on the other end resuming. “I don't want to speak to another rep-" your words got cut off by an elevator jingle, a couple advertisings being made here and there. What was supposed to be a calming waiting experience only served to stress you out further, your foot seeming to be tapping against the floor at a hundred miles an hour. Your eyes flickered around the mess, waiting for the elevator jingle to fade into good news.
"There's actually nothing that we can do in this situation," another voice came through the line after what seemed to be an eternity of waiting. "And you had to keep me on hold for the last five minutes just to say that?" You responded, starting to feel more tired than annoyed at the situation by this point. "Sorry about that. remember that your car payment's on the fifth of next month," the voice reminded you of your impending debt, a loud click sounding before the line ended. You made your way back into the restaurant, forcing a smile on your face as you took orders despite the fact that you wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry. Or yell. Whatever would help you feel better.
"Jess, can you come into my office for a second? It's a matter of life or death," Miguel spoke into his gizmo, waiting for a confirmation before he turned it off. Jessica appeared into his office in a couple seconds, her eyes widened in alert as she looked around for what was the life or death urgent matter. "So, walk with me through a hypothetical. Imagine you're broke and Spider-Man destroys your car. and you have a date with Spider-Man's alter ego. Except you don't know that it's Spider-Man until he decides to show you. How would you feel after that revelation?" Miguel asked her after the platform made its way down, Jessica’s face morphing into annoyance almost immediately.
"This isn't a matter of life or death first of all. Second of all, think I'd just drop kick you after the revelation. Did you even manage to land the car or not?" Jessica responded, making Miguel let out an annoyed huff as he ran through the possibilities in his mind. Though he'd had the same idea that she had, he didn't enjoy having them confirmed by someone else. "No," he admitted, glaring over at her when she started to laugh. "Good luck with that," she advised him, leaving the room to let him be with his own thoughts. He was more than certain he would need more than luck for this to work out in his favor.
He pulled up the tab for the dating app that Peter had signed him up, scrolling through your pictures like he wanted just the slightest sign that you weren't the same person. The more and more that he looked at the photos, the more that he tried to convince himself that something was off. Maybe that the angles didn't match up, that he believed he saw a beauty mark on the picture without having seen it on you today. But no matter how hard he tried, he knew that deep down, he'd destroyed his date's car. Even if he could get himself to disregard the fact for the date tonight, he knew that it would be haunting him later on. He felt the need to be completely honest with you in the ways that he could, wanting to show you every single part of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
While he'd been reluctant to actually giving in and trying out the app given the fact that he didn't have that much time to put into a relationship, he almost thought of himself as lucky for stumbling onto your profile. The conversations between the two of you was something that he looked forward to when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night. You were easy to talk to, someone that understood his dry sense of humor without taking offense to it. You'd even offered him some solutions to the problems he had going on despite not having much knowledge about the topic of hand, making sure that he'd put his well-being above anything else. He'd grown to care about you more than he initially anticipated for.
He'd never admit to it if you asked, but he found himself looking back at the nude photos that you'd exchanged with him. The way that your body sprawled out on your bedsheets, your lingerie clinging tightly onto your curves like it was begging for him to take it off. The teasing smile on your face as you looked up at the camera, making all the thoughts in his head disappear. All that had been running through his head upon seeing those photos was what he wanted to do you, his lips tracing every inch of your body as he worshipped you the way that you deserved to be. If he would have it his way, he'd make sure no inch of your body was left untouched by his lips.
He'd spent many nights with his hand tightly fisted around his cock, wishing that you'd be in the same room with him making him feel that level of pleasure. The sounds that you let out in the video you'd sent him were heavenly, a sensation coursing through him that he wouldn't be able to achieve even with the best produced porn video. It filled him with a sense of pride that it was him making you feel so needy, the small whimpers of his name making every nerve in his body short circuit. He knew that his hand wouldn't be able to compare to the way that you felt, the way that it would feel slipping inside of you for the first time. Your walls clenching tightly around his cock as you welcomed the intrusion, his pace gentle as he eased you into it.
He'd ignore the voices outside of his office just to get off to the thought of you, his fangs digging into his lower lip as he tried to muffle every sound that was eliciting from deep down. A quiet 'shock' here and there escaped from his lips, nothing that would alert any of the other members in the Society. The grip around his cock would tighten, like he was trying to do justice to the way that your pussy would tighten around him. His reddened tip kept leaking out precum, lathering his hand with every stroke that he gave himself. You'd become the object of every fantasy that he had, his work starting to get sloppy from the way that you'd been clouding his mind for days now.
Ropes of cum shot up to his stomach, a temporary relieve of the desire that had been brewing inside him. It was only a fleeting moment, before his thoughts returned back to you. It was a constant cycle of desire brewing morphing into a couple seconds of fleeting satisfaction, a burning inferno inside of him begging to be tamed with your fingers. To have your nails raking down his back, to seize every little gasp that you'd let out and every expression that would you make in the moment. He felt frustrated, at himself mostly. For letting himself get so pent up to the point where even the thought of you was a desire he couldn't fan down, of letting himself get so needy just for your touch.
To say that he was looking forward to the date with you was an understatement, having bought a new button down to prepare for it. He'd planned on taking the day early, taking the time to make sure he was well prepared for the date and going to buy you some flowers before he had to be at the restaurant. Every hope that he'd had towards the date quickly faded away, reminding him of what could've been. He almost wanted to kick himself for not picking the BMW parked next to your car. He hesitantly clicked on the 'block' button, though deep inside, he knew that you deserved more than just getting ghosted without any reason.
You ended up getting home later than you expected, getting lost in the subway system a couple of times before you managed to find your way. The date that you'd been looking forward to no longer seemed that exciting with all the events that had gone down tonight, and even if you were excited, you doubted you would be able to make it on time. You took out your phone to text Miguel that you wouldn't be able to make it, the text bubble turning green after you sent it. You wanted to lie to yourself and say that he didn't have any service, make any excuse for what you already knew deep down. A part of you didn't want to believe that you'd been ghosted, the conversations that the two of you shared almost seeming like out of a fairytale.
You tried sending him another message at a later time, only to find out that it met the same fate as your previous text. You slowly came to accept the situation for what it was, accepting the fact that you'd just been discarded like a toy. Though you weren't a stranger to getting ghosted on dating apps, this time, it seemed to sting more than the previous times. Maybe it was because you truly believed that it would go somewhere this time, that the two of you had formed a connection. You'd had the hope that he'd be the one you'd share those corny couple moments with, be the one who you'd go on dates with and have intimate moments with.
You ended up calling it a night early, all the lights in your apartment turned off as you snuggled with your fluffy blanket. You had a corny romance movie playing on the screen to get your mind off your current dilemma, to give you the chance to critique someone else's problems rather than dealing with your own. You'd bought a box of chocolates for yourself since they were a pretty decent price and it allowed you to indulge in the same things other people had on Valentine's Day, sticking them into your mouth as you watched the movie. You were doing everything in your power to avoid looking at your phone, to look through the messages you'd shared with Miguel just to have a reminder of what you could've had and of the texts that you'd romanticized so much in your head.
"Oh for fuck's sake, just say you love her," you muttered at the tv screen, rubbing your temples at just how overdramatized the whole plot was. Even after a while, the whole idea of making fun of fictional characters' problems lost its appeal. You turned off your tv, darkness enveloping your room instantly. You got up and cleaned up after yourself, making sure you hadn't left any chocolate remnants on your bedsheets or fingers. Despite having eaten half the box of chocolates, sleep washed over you with ease once you laid down. The grip that you had around one of your teddy bears was unrelenting as you slept, seeking out for some kind of comfort. Just having something there that would let you know it would be okay.
With all the hectics that happened last night, you'd forgotten to set your alarm early to make it to the subway on time. Despite the fact that you were basically working for minimum wage, your boss ordered you around like your service was what kept the restaurant running afloat. You got up from your bed after a couple minutes, already running the different excuses that you'd use. You figured that he wouldn't be exactly receptive to 'Spider-Man destroyed my only mode of transportation.' Your actions were slower than normal this morning, your fingers nimble as you buttoned up your shirt. The task had taken unnecessarily long, your mind constantly blanking out and forgetting about the task at hand.
You glanced over at the parking spot that your car used to occupy to notice a new suv parked in the spot, a red bow on top of it with a paper attached to the back of it. Your curiosity got the better of you, wondering who'd been so bold to park their car in your spot merely a day after it was unoccupied. You picked up the note, your eyes widening after you'd finished reading it.
'Sorry I messed up your car yesterday. I hope this makes up for it.
P.S. The keys are in your mailbox
P.P.S. Don’t worry about paying off your other car
- Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man'
You wanted to stay mad at the webbed asshole for treating your car as his personal play-toy but you couldn't deny the fact that this car was much nicer than the one you used to drive. It was nice enough where it would get you from one place to another with minimal bumps but not flashy enough that it'd get broken into. You folded the note and set it in your pocket, heading over to your mail room to get the keys. Sure enough, the keys to the car laid inside on top of the mail that you'd forgotten to get. You picked up the keys after a couple seconds, walking back over to your new car to get going to work.
tag list: @nixinluv02 @yournextbimbogf @ifiwasaguybrickedup @nympholove @pxtched @lazyjellyfish300 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow
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starboyshoyo · 1 year
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Crush Headcanons
Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Ace Trappola, Leona Kingscholar, Floyd Leech
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Genre: Fluff
How the NRC boys act when they have a crush, and how they try to win your heart over!
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Riddle Rosehearts
Ah, yes. Our favorite emotionally-stunted dormwarden, Riddle Rosehearts. There’s not much of a precursor to him realizing he has feelings for you. One night, a few months into your friendship, Riddle will notice that he enjoys your company even more so than Trey or Cater. And then it hits him. Oh, he has a crush. 
His demeanor around you will do a complete 180 after that. While before, he would talk casually with you about any and all subject matter, he’s not so sure how to approach it anymore. He’ll go up to you in the hallways between classes and during free periods, back stiff as a board, and ask you to accompany him to the library to run some errands, or he’ll extend a gracious invitation to an unbirthday party next week. Yes, those are his exact words. 
You’ll be left wondering why Riddle’s demeanor has changed so much around you until you realize that he’s following all the steps to initiating a relationship from the NRC Gentleman’s Club Guide to Courting, 3rd Edition. Either that, or Trey will tell you outright to your face that Riddle is trying his best to win you over, he knows you like Riddle too, please just take him off of Trey’s hands for a while. 
Speaking of pawning Riddle off to be someone else’s problem, that’s exactly what most of Heartslabyul dorm will be doing once they catch onto Riddle’s feelings for you. They’ll keep you around as much as possible, because when you’re around, Riddle will try his best to keep himself contained. He could be right in the middle of shouting off with your head to a group of freshmen, but the moment you enter he stops dead in his tracks and lets them off with a warning. The first years scramble out of the room, silently thanking a higher power for sending them a guardian angel in their time of need. 
Cater is the best wingman Riddle could ask for, except that he didn’t ask for him. Regardless of how many times Riddle tells him that he wants to court you himself like a proper romantic candidate, Cater will insist that he needs to be more flashy about it! He can still be a classic man and be a bit more modern! Why doesn’t Riddle take you on a fancy dinner date to Mostro Lounge, instead of another boring ol’ tea party? (Cater definitely gets his head offed for that one). 
Riddle does take one piece of advice to heart, though. Cater suggests that spending time together and doing new things is the best way to get someone to like you, and Riddle thinks that’s reasonable enough. He’ll try to vary the things he invites you to do with him. One day you’ll be helping him paint the roses in the Rose Maze, and other days he’ll take you on a ride on his horse, Vorpal, around the racing track. 
Riddle will slowly lose the awkward formality that he held around you when he realized he liked you as more than a friend. His posture will relax and he’ll begin to talk to you normally again. One thing that won’t change though is the gentlemanly ways he treats you on these ‘trial dates.’ If you’re at dinner he’ll pull out your chair for you and hold the door. When strolling the campus he’ll link his arm in yours. If you’re trying to get a leg up on Vorpal’s back, he’ll hold your hand until you can steady yourself. It’s all very sweet really, and he’ll have a small smile on his face every time he does so.
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Ace Trappola
Ace is another case where you’d definitely be friends before he falls for you, but instead of establishing a formal ‘courting period’ like Riddle does, Ace will just… not change. He’s still the same roughish, loveable idiot to you, messing with you at the most inopportune moments and pulling tricks to steal your food. But somehow, he gets a bit softer whenever you’re around. Instead of just calling you a dumbass, he’ll call you my dumbass. That’s just how he shows his affections. 
Ace has had a few encounters with romance before, but he’s never once thought so much about how he must have looked to them. With you, he wants to look cool. He wants to be your number one, your first and best choice! If you’re watching him at basketball practice, he’ll throw you a wink whenever he scores a basket.
Deuce is now his rival, end of story. Whether or not Deuce knows it or even likes you in the first place, Ace will always be trying to one-up him in front of you. Deuce got 79 on his last potionology test? Expect Ace to be studying nonstop for the next week, and return to you with a 79.5. 0.5 points more than Deuce! You can tell who the better man is now, right? 
He’s not shy about his feelings, but he may not confirm them right away either. He’ll call you cute, mess with you, and playfully push you around a bit, letting you know that he likes you. But truth be told he’s a little afraid of the idea that you might not want to be with a troublemaker like him, so he’ll wait to see how you react to his advances. 
If you’re welcoming to them, then expect Ace to step up his game tenfold from then on. He’ll walk you to and from every class of the day, beg you to study with him in his dorm room, even show up at your door in the middle of the night with an armload of your favorite snacks. He’ll grin at you when you open the door, quickly shoving past you and inviting himself in to dump his successful ‘hunt’ on the table. Pick whichever ones you like, he got them all for you!
The best thing about Ace having a crush on you is that no matter what, he will always be your friend, first and foremost. He wants to have fun with you and enjoy life by your side. Laughter is common when you’re around him, and he’ll always be looking for new ways to make you smile. 
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Leona Kingscholar
Leona is an odd one. Upon first glance it seems like he doesn’t spare you one look. Sure, you might make friendly conversation with him while in passing, but he’s not showering you with attention at every opportunity like some others. It’s only when you notice that he’s a little more courteous around you than he is with others do you understand his true feelings towards you. 
Leona’s hints are subtle. Whenever you enter a room his ear will twitch as if he has just heard the most interesting tidbit of conversation. If your name is mentioned he might even raise his head to see what’s going on. He’ll keep an eye on you subtly from afar, especially when walking at night, to keep you safe. And a few choice orders from Ruggie later, and Leona will have your favorite food on the plate in front of him. He wants to know what it tastes like, so he can understand the subtlety of your character a bit better. 
This boy feels no need to show off in front of you. He knows he’s strong, you know he’s strong, and so does everyone else. While he wouldn’t mind you seeing him score a goal or two during Spelldrive, he doesn’t feel the need to prove it. If he’s really the game that day though, he’ll look up after scoring, and point directly towards you in the stands. Out of thousands of spectators, he knew exactly where you’ve been the whole time, and though no one else knows who he’s pointing to, he knows you’ll get the message. 
Many people are scared of him, sometimes for good reason. No one sets foot on Savanaclaw dorm territory without him knowing, and usually, it’ll end in a beatdown or a forceful eviction from the premises. With you though, you can wander through the entrance without so much as a comment from the students. Some of them are even friendly to you, waving and shouting greetings. It’s Leona’s orders that they treat you well, after all. 
The housewarden of Savanaclaw dorm is not ashamed of his feelings for you. Why should he be? Does caring about someone he holds in high esteem bring shame upon him? You’re a perfectly suitable romantic option. He’s not going to make a big show of his affection towards you, but he’s not going to hide it. He just lets it be. 
If you notice and take an interest in him too, great. He’ll see you next weekend for a date in the Botanical Gardens. 
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Floyd Leech
Floyd is eccentric at times and that carries over to his romantic life. He’s got a pretty face and unique look, so he’s used to getting attention from admirers here and there. Every so often, he’ll flirt back if the mood suits him. But most of the time they’re nothing more than passing flings or amusements. Something about you is different, though. Floyd trusts his intuition. 
Even if he has a fondness for you, you’re not safe from Floyd’s teasing. No one is, not even Azul or Jade. Floyd finds it’s a surefire way to get your attention- poke at you until you swat him away, then grab your hand in his and squeeze- but gently. 
You may not pick up on Floyd’s feelings towards you right away. He’s physically touchy with many people, not just you, and he generally gets a kick out of ‘playing’ with them. When you’re involved though, he’s a bit more amiable. He’ll lay off on the taunts and divert his focus to gifting you unusual compliments.  If no one’s ever complimented you on the comparison of your shoes to a deep sea anchor, then Floyd will do it. 
Floyd’s mood swings are a point of contingency for most people, and he knows this. For that reason he’s all the more appreciative of the empathy you show him- you try to understand how he’s feeling and why he feels that way. He won’t say it out loud but the gratitude shows- he’ll follow through with an action, even if his initial thought on it is negative. Sometimes, it’ll lead to him actually enjoying the activity you’ve roped him into. 
His nicknames for you vary at times, but he’ll always have one favorite one. Sometimes you’re his clamshell, sometimes you’re starfish or pearl. But at the end of the day, you’ll always be his little Shrimpy. 
Even though Floyd can be seen as lazy sometimes, he makes a consistent effort when it comes to spending time with you. It’s not uncommon to walk out of class and get swept up in his wake, then suddenly end up at a new restaurant that opened up in the commercial district to do chocolate-tasting with you. How did you even get there? Who knows.
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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fic-over-cannon · 5 months
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Words Left Unsaid
jason todd x f!reader
ao3 link
summary: jason todd is your childhood best friend. he dies before his Words come in, the first words his soulmate will say to him, and you have to pick up the pieces.
tags: soulmate au, major character death (temporary), grief
rated mature | wc: 8.8k
a/n: so this monster of a story was based on an ask i sent to @jasonsmirrorball a while back (don’t read for spoilers). it pretty much took on a life of its own, and now here we are nearly 9k later. it does get pretty dark in its exploration of grief, so please take care of yourselves my lovelies.
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Everyone’s born with Words somewhere on their body, unreadable at first. The skin is shiny, like an old scar, the words blurry and undefined. One day, you’ll see the first words you’ll ever hear your soulmate say to you, that shiny patch of skin blooming like ink (there’s superstitions about the colour your Words fade into, as popular as astrology). The trick of the thing is, you won’t find out what your Words are until you’ve become the person who is meant to hear them. You could meet your soulmate a hundred times and not know it, not until you’ve both grown into the people you need to be. The youngest person to get their Words was seven, and the oldest 92 years young. Or so the stories go. When you’re young, still poking at your loose front tooth with your tongue, it’s a story that comforts you. It’s the story you beg your parents for before bed every night. It’s the carrot they use to get you to try new things and go new places. What if you meet your soulmate at the new movie theatre downtown? How do you know eating your veggies won’t develop you into who your soulmate needs you to be?
It’s what your mother uses to try and coax you out of the car for your first day at a new school. She’s driven you to school for your first day, a one off so she can finish up your admittance paperwork. In this moment you hate her for it. It’s February and the year is more than halfway over. The snow has melted into dirty grey slush in the streets and the pinching Mary Janes the school mandates as part of the uniform are going to provide no protection. It’s halfway through the year and you’re certain no one is going to be your friend at a new school in a new city. You’re twelve years old and to you this is the end of the world. You’re trying so hard not to cry, hugging yourself together and burying your chin in your chest.
“Come on, honey, this is a school. It’ll help you become who you need to be.”
Your mother’s voice is cajoling, trying to coax you out the same way she coaxed a stray cat into her arms. It worked on the cat, now named Haley after the comet, but it doesn’t work on you. She tries to catch your eye in the rear view mirror but you stubbornly turn your head to look out the window instead.
“Please. Work with me here. We’ll go in together, you’ll have a wonderful day and make so many friends. And after school, I’ll take you out for donuts and you can tell me all about it before your Dad gets home.”
You keep silent, continue to stare out the window at all the other kids walking into the building.
“Honey, please. Can you just do this one thing for me, please.”
She’s almost begging now, and you hate the way it makes her sound. You want to tell her how scared you are, how there’s nothing more you want to do except huddle under your covers in your unfamiliar bed and hold Haley close. But your fear is a hot ball in your chest, choking off any words that might come out. You look at her though, plead with her with your eyes to understand how much you don’t want to do this. She stares back at you, an exhausted slump to her shoulders and lines around her eyes you don’t remember being there. Slowly, you unwrap your arms from around your rib cage. Place a hand on each knobbly knee and slowly curl them into fists before nodding, once, sharply, eyes firmly fixed on the car seat in front of you. Your eyes burn, but the sigh of relief your mother heaves out is worth it.
Gotham Academy is housed in a collection of gothic stone buildings which should have been strange in a large city like Gotham but weirdly works. You just think it’s creepy. Head down, you follow your mother’s back weaving through the crowds of students. You don’t want to see the stares, but you can already feel them boring into you. Sitting in the secretary’s office, you pick at invisible lint on your knitted tights. You know your mother’s having a conversation with the secretary but it all flies over your head in shushing murmurs. Your back aches from the overstuffed chair. The Mary Janes do pinch, makes you worried that you’ve already twisted your ankles from the way they throb.
“I’ve got to get to work now sweet pea, but I just now you’re going to have a great first day. I’ll pick you up at 4:00 and we can go get those donuts okay?”
Your mother’s crouched down in front of you, eyes searching your face for any kind of reaction. She looks worried and that’s what causes you to crack. You fling yourself out of the chair and into her arms, allow yourself one great heaving sob into her shoulder. She strokes your hair and hushes you, squeezes you tight like she could make you part of her.
“Oh honey. Everything’s scary right now but I promise it’s not going to stay that way. I believe in you and you’re going to get through this.”
You draw back from her, scrub at your face with your fists. Heaving breaths don’t help but they don’t make it worse. You go with the secretary, new schedule twisted tight in your hands. She lets you discard your coat and backpack in a locker, before walking you to your new homeroom. You only hope that you’ll remember the locker combination.
You hate the way your new homeroom teacher makes you stand at the front of the room. Mr. Mulligan won’t let you sit down until you introduce yourself to the class, a thing he could have done so easily himself. Pulling at your sleeves and trying not to make eye contact with anyone, you stutter out a few basic facts. Hate the way you can feel the other students catalogue you, the way your hair doesn’t look shiny and straight like its fresh out of a salon, your too small shoes, the unfashionably long length of your skirt and the lack of designer accessories. Your cheeks and eyes are burning by the time you can slide down into your assigned seat near the back of the class. There’s only one other person sitting in your row, a boy with dark curling hair and a shy grin. He leans over to your desk just Mr. Mulligan starts the lecture.
Whispers, “Hi! My name’s Jason. I already know your name, figured if we’re going to be seat mates its only fair you know mine.”
You smile tightly and turn back to the lesson. You’re desperate not to miss anything, already feeling like you’ve been left behind. At your old school, you were in the middle of The Great Gatsby, but Gotham Academy is doing Romeo and Juliet for their seventh grade English class. You don’t have the play book, have no idea what part of the text they’re talking about, and this is the first time you’ve actually heard Shakespeare read out loud. Writing as fast you can, you try to keep up but it doesn’t matter how good your notes are if you don’t understand what the teacher’s talking about.
Usually you love English class, how uncovering symbolism and hidden meanings make you feel like you’re uncovering secret messages sent by the authors years in the past. Now it’s all going over your head and you hate it here so much already. The one class that you might have been looking forward to and you’re overwhelmed by it. You press too hard with your pencil, tear through the sheet of paper in front of you.
A notebook slides across your desk. Messy but legible writing on the first few scenes of the Act are written on it. Looking in the direction it came from, you make eye contact with Jason. He grins toothily before turning back to the front, Mr. Mulligan having moved on to a different quotation. The gesture makes your chest tight.
The rest of the class goes by uneventfully if still a challenge. There’s a short break between classes in which you frantically copy down the notes and slide the notebook back to him before your next teacher arrives. The next class isn’t so bad, still difficult and you’ve never liked math as much as you probably should, but it’s less intimidating than English. Someone must have fiddled with the thermostat during the break because the room feels colder than before. You wish you were on your old school’s schedule with shorter classes and more breaks. Sitting still for so long at your desk is making your back ache and cramp up. Math is almost over, Miss Lewis writing out the assigned homework on the board, when a wave of something comes over you. It’s an effort of will not to curl up on your desk.
The bell rings for lunch break and you just about bolt to the first bathroom you can find. Something’s wrong with you, more than just nerves over the first day. You’re cold but you’re sweating, nausea burning at the back of your throat. The ache in your back and stomach are almost unbearable, makes you want to curl into the fetal position to ward off invisible blows. Rolling down your tights in a hurry, you sit down on the cold toilet as fast as you can. Your hand is wet, and for a moment you worry that you’d lost control of your bladder on the way to the bathroom. But the stain on your hand is dark, matches the blood slick crotch of your panties. You hang your head and can feel the tears you’ve been holding onto all morning drop onto the floor. Just another thing you can’t control in this shitty new town and its stupid new school. Your first period.
The bathroom is cold, hard tile under your feet and wintery sunlight weak through the windows near the ceiling. The blood on your fingers is cold and tacky now. There’s a boundary here, between childhood and being an adult that you aren’t ready to cross yet. I want my mom, you think, only on the edge of hysteria. But she’s at work, wouldn’t be able to come if you called.
So you do what needs to be done, stop your tears as best as you can and sniffle. Wipe your face clean with the back of your sleeve and do your best to dab at your underwear with the single ply toilet paper. Layer sheets of toilet paper between your tights and underwear, build a makeshift pad in your sort-of dry underwear out of toilet paper and hope that it will hold up. Luckily you’ve escaped staining the regulation uniform skirt, so no one should be able to tell what happened. You get transfixed by the swirls of blood washing down the sink drain, hands gone numb under the stream of water. Splash cold water on your face in the vain hope it’ll calm down your puffy eyes. As ready as you can be in this situation, you eye yourself in the mirror and tell yourself to get moving before the bell for third period rings.
The boy from the back row is waiting outside the classroom for you. He looks nervous until he sees you, lights up with that shy smile again.
“Hi! I uh noticed you weren’t at lunch today so I grabbed you an apple in case you didn’t grab anything to eat.”
He’s babbling on about the cafeteria food not being that bad if you’d just try it, even though finding a table the first time can be rough. All you can do is stare at the apple in his hands, transfixed. You’re only shaken out of your stupor by the sound of him calling your name.
“So… are you going to take it? The bell’s going to ring soon and the teachers really don’t like us eating during class.”
“Thank you,” you say, genuinely shocked and touched.
He goes a little bashful at that, looks away as you take the apple from him. The apple’s good, sweet and crisp under your teeth. You make quick work of it in the hallway, finishing it up just as the bell rings. Jason stands right in front of you the whole time, hides you from the penetrating eyes of your classmates.
“All done? We should probably find our seats now. Monty,” and here he adopts a snooty British accent, “Archibald the Third is a real stickler for being on time. He’ll mark you late if you’re not sitting in your seat, even if you’re in the classroom.”
His impression makes you snicker and forget, just for a moment, how miserable you are. Mr. Archibald the Third is just as ridiculous as Jason’s impression of him predicted, but you get through it by making eye contact with Jason over the most ridiculous moments. Mr. Archibald really does have you call him “the Third”. It’s probably got something to do with his Words, a flowing script running vertically down the side of his face reading, “The Third, dear God how many of you are there?”. History with Mr. Archibald manages to be fun despite his absurd demeanor and your own private hurt seeming less terrible for a few scattered moments.
The final class of the day drags on, the pain in your front and back growing. Your hand moves across the page but your mind isn’t really paying attention. There’s a commotion as people gather their things and stand, already streaming out the door. You blink, stupefied, then slowly gather your things.
“Same time, same place tomorrow then?”
“—Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow Jason.”
Your mother’s waiting for you in front of the school, car idling puffs of smoke into the darkening afternoon. Your backpack lands in the back seat and you crush your face into her coat across the console. Her hands come to your back, patting and rubbing circles until your breath comes in long, even draws.
“Honey I’m so proud of you. Your first day done! Let’s go celebrate, hmm? How was it? Did you make any new friends?”
“Can we get the donuts to go? I— uh, um I— I might have started my period today?”
Your voice lifts on the end of the sentence, suddenly absurdly worried about her reaction. You needn’t have worried though.
“Oh sweet pea, on your first day too? We can go home, get you a bath and something for your cramps.”
“No, I just really want to go get donuts with you because today kind of sucked and I’ll still feel kinda shitty but at least then I get donuts while I feel bad.”
“No more swearing and we’ll get a whole box to go, okay?”
Lying in bed that night, wrapped around a hot water bottle with Haley on your feet, you think that your day wasn’t that bad. It could have been a lot worse, and Jason was surprisingly nice. You stare at the shiny patch of skin on your wrist and hope that one day it will all be worth it. You drift off to the thought of blue eyes.
For the rest of that week you join Jason at his corner in the cafeteria. Between Math and History you slowly start to get to know one another. He offers to let you borrow his notes for the upcoming test in English, gets a little sheepish when he mentions that he practically knows the content by heart anyway. Jason’s sweet and funny and by Friday you two are the best of friends.
Once your mother is confident that you can handle the commute to school on your own, she doesn’t mind if you’re home late as long as you send a text first. Something about socializing with more kids your age being good for you, not that you’re listening too distracted in the haze of victory. So the two of you hang out after school, the city your shared playground. Jason treats you to your first chili dog and laughs when you get some on your nose. In revenge, you dare him to cover his lunch in chili oil at lunch the next day. The way Mr. Archibald threatens you both with detention for being disruptive is so worth it.
It’s not until the middle of April that you get the courage to ask Jason why you. Why out of everyone in the school he chose to reach out to the new kid and make her his friend. It’s probably the most personal thing you’ve asked him yet.
“It’s ‘cause no one else would’ve. Most of the kids here, their families founded Gotham and they’re not keen on outsiders. Most of the scholarship kids, they start at the same time, form a group so the rich kids don’t pick on them so much.” He pauses here, has to look away before he goes on. “Most of the others don’t like me ‘cause I don’t really fit into either category, you know? Like my dad’s a big name in Gotham but he only just adopted me so I’m not really one the rich kids but he’s doing more than just paying my school fees. You looked just as lonely as I was,” here he turns to grin, “and I wasn’t going to give up an opportunity to make someone carry my lunch tray.”
“Hey, idiot, if I remember right it was you bringing me lunch the first time.” You shove at him indignantly, but he dodges too quickly for you.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t remember, on account of me being an idiot.” He flicks you on the tip of the nose and goes running.
And then it’s on. You chase him around the park, laughing and swearing to get your revenge on him. The two of you collapse breathlessly onto a mostly dry patch of dirt under a skeletal tree. Staring up at the sky and trying to catch your breath, you feel Jason nudge at your should beside you.
“So what about you? What brought you to the happiest place on earth?”
“My dad got headhunted for a promotion. He’s researching something for Wayne Industries and all of us had to move here for it. So mom gets a new job and I get transferred to a new school.” You sit up suddenly, look down at Jason lying in the grass. “Promise not to tell anyone?” You wait for him to nod first before continuing. “I only got into Gotham Academy because of my dad. I heard him and my mom arguing about it; he made it part of his contract that I’d get to go to school there if he accepted the job.”
“So? I’m only at GA because of my dad too. You think a kid from Crime Alley gets to go to private school without a little nepotism?”
You slump back down on to the grass, stretch a hand out to the sky and look up at it.
“To nepotism I guess.”
A hand reaches up to the sky next to yours. Slowly, ever so slowly he reaches a pinky out and links it with yours.
“To two misfits only here because of nepotism.”
School lets out in June, the city air ridiculously hot and humid. You can’t say that you’ve made any good friends outside of Jason, but there’s some girls you say hello to in the halls. You mourn not being able to see Jason everyday, but the plans you have to meet up are enough to soothe the ache.
He takes you to an arcade first, the two of you spending hours trying to beat each other at Pac Man. Tired but happy you split a basket of fries at the attached cafeteria. You’re enjoying the greasy fried goodness of the snack but you notice Jason isn’t reaching for the basket as quickly as you are. Looking over at him, you notice him staring at a pair of brothers playing a game. The younger whoops, jumps up and down in excitement. The older one ruffles his brother’s hair and challenges him to a new round. You toss a fry in Jason’s direction, surprised when he actually manages to catch it.
“You good?”
“—Yeah. It’s just, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it? But I kind of have an older brother and he was supposed to take me to the arcade last weekend but he got in a fight with Dad and just left.”
“That’s a real dick move, ditching you over his issues.” At that, Jason breaks out in hysterical laughter, almost choking on the fry in his mouth. There are tears in his eyes by the time he stops coughing but he looks slightly less like a kicked puppy.
“It really, really was. You don’t know how much it was.”
Happy that the mood has lifted, the two of you finish off the basket of fries. You challenge Jason to Dance Dance Revolution and he wipes the floor with you. He’s way more athletic than you’d expected from him. The two of you part ways happy, already planning your next hang out. It is enough.
You meet up almost every week that summer. Jason shows you the Gotham he knows, little hidden gems only locals know about. A movie theatre that only shows movies made before 1980, a diner with the best milkshakes you’ve ever tasted, the best places in the public library to read undisturbed. Teaches you about the safest places to evacuate when disaster hits, which parts of the city are most dangerous. The park and its chili dog stand quickly become a favourite for you, a place to just hang out without any responsibilities. It also becomes a kind of confessional of sorts, where you end up telling each other your worst fears and secret hopes.
You confess once, after riding out your first Rogue attack with your fingers buried in Jason’s T-shirt, that you’re worried you’ll never feel at home again. That you can never go back now to your old house and feel at home there now, but that Gotham still feels too alien to be called home yet. Your darkest fear, that you’ll end up alone one day, deserted by everyone that you know and love. Jason tells you about his fears that one day all of this, Bruce and Alfred, the manor, school, will disappear one day. That the big brother he looks up to will never start to like him. Every time the two of you bare your souls to each other, Jason will hook his pinky over yours and squeeze. It’s a friendship built on shared secrets, on fears assuaged, and worries made better.
Your last year of middle school is largely uneventful. You got to classes, have lunch with Jason, hang out after class with Jason, text Jason. You get into a routine and that brings you comfort. There’s a slight period of awkwardness right before the 8th grade formal. A weird tension envelopes you both, the nebulous question of if you’re going together hanging over you. You don’t like it, the way Jason seems almost hesitant in all your conversations these days. It sets your teeth to itching and you can’t stand it anymore.
Slamming down your textbook, you say “Okay that’s it. I can’t stand whatever this is. You and I are going to the formal as friends. We’ll get all dressed up and if it’s lame we can ditch and go get Batburgers.”
“Oh thank God. I didn’t want to say anything in case it made it awkward but then it was just getting more awkward and then I just didn’t know what to do.”
The party is lame, but the burgers make up for it. Your dress is nice though. Your mother helped you pick it out, the fitted bodice and loose swing of the skirt making you feel passably pretty. It’s been hard to feel pretty with the way your body’s changed over the year, hips widening and chest starting to grow in ways you can’t predict. Jason cleans up nice, though whoever slicked back his hair went overboard on the gel. You pose for a picture all dressed up together, faces pulled into silly expressions, your burgers held in front of you like trophies. You pin a copy of the photo up in your bedroom. It makes you smile every time you see it, something warm in your chest.
The first day of high school brings back those first day jitters. You’re not even transferring schools, just switching to a different building and still your palms are sweating. It’s not until you see Jason, sitting in the back row with an empty seat behind him that you can release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. It’s different teachers and different subjects, but in some ways it’s like the day you met again. Scribbling notes until your hands cramp, Jason passing you notes in class, struggling to keep up with what the teachers are saying. At lunch, you and Jason even split an apple between you. It’s terrifying and familiar and all the more bearable because you aren’t going through it alone.
High school is different. Everyone’s more aware of each other in ways they weren’t in middle school. Girls wear brighter lip glosses and flaunt the shiny spaces where their marks will come in. Boys douse themselves in too much body spray and start eyeing up anything that moves. But through out it all, your friendship remains the same. Something about high school solidifies things, has you go from You and Jason to YouandJason. At school you’re a unit, almost impossible to think of you as separate beings. After school, you still spend time together, still explore the city, still message all the time. But you’ve still never been to each other’s houses. Never met each other’s families yet.
Jason offers, once, to have you over to the manor during the winter break, but you’re not keen on it. Crinkle up your nose and ask to think about it.
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you over the holiday, or meet your family Jason. It’s just that I kind of like the way things are? My family knows that you’re my best friend, they’ve seen pictures of us, but the way things are now, you’re still entirely mine. Our friendship’s just for us. Meeting your family kind of changes that.”
“I like us being us. But would it really be that different to come hang out for a few hours? You could come over when Dad’s out and it’d just be me and Alfred.”
Eventually you agree, spend an afternoon with Jason at the manor to cram for your next round of tests. Mr. Pennyworth is lovely, keeps bringing snacks up to the library as an excuse to check up on you. Bent over your books, you miss the significant looks Alfred is sending Jason over your head and the blush that lights up his face in response. Mr. Wayne is thankfully not home. You’re not sure you could have handled meeting Jason’s grandfather and father in the same visit.
Jason makes it over to your apartment a few times over the spring semester. Your father’s always working, but your mother likes him well enough. She makes him stay over for dinner, won’t let him leave without feeding him first. She calls him a nice boy and tells him to come back any time. Still, you two prefer going out to coffee shops or the library to hang out, uninterrupted by well-meaning adults.
It’s on one of those summer nights, the two of you some of the last people in the public library, that the subject of your Words comes up. The skin across your left wrist catches the warm light of the lamps in a way that’s distracting. You’re startled by the feeling of fingers tracing featherlight over still-shiny skin.
“You ever wonder it about it sometimes? What it’ll say or who’ll say it?” The tone is unreadable but Jason’s voice is above the whisper he usually uses in the library, but with so few people around you figure there’s no harm in mimicking his volume.
“I used to. I was obsessed with Words when I was little. Couldn’t go to sleep without hearing about them as a bed time story.”
“Used to?” And Jason’s fingers are still there, drawing maddening little patterns across the thin skin of your wrist.
“Well, I’ve got other things to think about now, things that are actually within my control.”
Jason presses down, gently, with the broad of his thumb on your pulse. You snatch back your wrist, cradle it to your chest, uncertain of how intimate that gesture felt.
“Fair’s fair. I showed you mine, now you’ve gotta show me yours.” Your tone is teasing, trying to capture the earlier lightness of the afternoon.
“Oh I do, do I?”
He reaches for the top button on his uniform button down, starts undoing two more. Horrified, you reach across the table and grab at his hands.
“What are you doing?! You can’t just go around stripping in public!” Your hissed whisper may not have been said at all for all the impact it makes. Jason shakes off your hands and goes back to undoing his shirt.
“Not all of us are blessed with easily accessible Words. Relax, I just have to get the shirt wide enough to show how far the Words will go.”
Across his collarbone is a thin strip of shiny skin, reaching from one side of his neck to the other like a necklace. Whatever it will say looks pretty lengthy for someone’s Words. Mesmerized, you reach out to trace it with your fingertips. Jason shifts back before you can make contact.
“Gotta buy me dinner first sweetheart. I’m a classy lady like that.”
You flush at the term of endearment, but cover it with indignation.
“Hey! What do you call the tacos I bought for us yesterday?”
He laughs it off and the tense moment is broken. You pack up your things, smiling at the ground. You like the way sweetheart sounds coming from Jason, not that you’d give him that to tease you with. Despite how much you tell each other, there’s one secret you haven’t told him yet. That privately you hope your Words will be his. It’s so easy to fall in love with Jason, or at least what passes for love at this age. The light in his eyes when he rants about the latest book he’s read, when he shares the biscuits Alfred packs for him, the way he listens to you so intently even if he doesn’t have all the answers. You can admit to yourself that you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend, but never out loud. Your friendship is one of the most important things in your life and you are terrified of destroying it.
You don’t see Jason much after that, that summer. Your texts and calls still get answered, but he’s frustratingly vague about meeting up. He says that his dad has him in a kind of summer school, wants him to learn from private tutors before school starts up in the Fall again. Asking about what it is that he’s supposed to learn (his marks are already incredibly good) makes him cagey about it. You don’t want to push, but it feels like he’s pulling away from you. Phone calls get shorter, sentences more clipped. Your offers to just drop by the manor to see him get turned down automatically. It’s the longest you’ve gone without seeing him since you’ve met. You’re terrified that he’s done with you. That for some unnameable reason he’s decided to end your years of friendship and there’s nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Gotham seems colder without Jason at your side, the dangers more obvious and your usual haunts less welcoming.
Finally, after nearly two months you manage to pin him down, get him to agree to meet the day after his birthday. Your heart is in your mouth as you wait for him on a bench in the park. There’s a trickle of sweat running down your back. It’s a hot day but the park is a lush green, an after effect from an Ivy attack the night before. You release your grip on your present for Jason, smooth the envelope and hope you didn’t crease it with your sweaty fingers. A voice is calling your name.
Jason’s been changed by the weeks apart. He’s a few inches taller now, filled out in the shoulders more. You have to crane your neck back to see his face. The anxiety in you is reflected in his face, the way he nervously runs his fingers through his hair, his darting eyes. Uncertain how to proceed, you thrust the envelope out between you.
“Happy Birthday.”
“I— thank you.”
There’s silence again, and the awkwardness between you is a tangible thing. It’s worse than it was in eighth grade only this time you don’t know how to bridge the gap. You look down at your shoes, the toes scuffed.
“I’m sorry for ignoring you.” It comes out of him in a rush. “I’ve been a really shitty friend lately. Just, all summer my dad’s been on me about studying with these private tutors except they’re all friends with Dick so nothing I do can ever be good enough in comparison and every day I’ve felt like crap but I didn’t want you to see me like this which only made me feel worse ‘cause then I basically had to avoid you all the time which is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do and all I wanted to do was have you tell me there’s nothing wrong with me and they can all go kick dirt but then I’d have to talk to you about it which I wasn’t ‘cause I was already embarrassed.” He has to pause here to catch his breath, words running together at the speed which he was going.
“You planning to breathe any time soon?”
He deflates, collapses onto the bench next to you, an arm tucked around his right side awkwardly holding the card so it doesn’t get crushed. You sigh, heavily.
“I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore.” Your confession is barely above a whisper. You can’t even look at him as you say it.
“I didn’t— I wouldn’t. I need you to know that I never, ever don’t want to be your friend okay? I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”
“Promise not to cut me out again and that you won’t take out your own issues on our friendship, and maybe I’ll consider forgiving you.”
“Pinky promise.”
Jason places the card in his lap, goes to link your fingers together, then winces at the movement of his arm. Suddenly sirens are going off in your brain.
“What’s wrong with your side?”
“Nothing, must have just pulled a muscle or something.” He tries to laugh it off nervously, but you can tell when he’s lying. His eyes dart to the left over your head, knee bounces almost imperceptibly. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you know he’s not telling you the truth.
“You can’t even go a full minute without cutting me out! Jason, I know something is wrong. Now tell me.”
He hesitates, and you’ve had it with the lies and the avoidance and the being kept in the dark. You fingers go to the hem of his shirt and you start tugging.
“Hey! Wh-what are you doing?”
He tries to squirm away, batting at your hands but you get his shirt up far enough to see the bruise on his ribs in the shape of a boot. It’s purple going a sickly yellow, mottled and stark against the dips of his ribs. You can feel all the blood drain from your face. Jason’s pushed up against the far side of the bench, pulling his shirt down with shaking hands.
“Jason. Jason if someone is hurting you, you need to tell someone. If it's your dad or one of the tutors, we can find someone to tell together.”
“No one— no one’s hurting me, all right? I just didn’t get out of the way fast enough during a Rogue attack. I didn’t want to worry you, that’s all. No one’s abusing me, okay?”
“But you’d tell me if they were?”
“I tell you everything important.”
It’s not enough, not nearly for you. From the look in his eyes Jason knows this too, but its all he’s willing to give. There’s a crossroads in your relationship here, a road where you push and push until you get the full story but shatter the tattered strands of your friendship or you accept that you’ll never have all of Jason but maybe your friendship will survive. So you do what needs to be done.
“Okay. If you say that’s what happened then I trust you.”
It’s a low blow, to twist your trust in him like a knife, but it’s your only way to express your frustration with him. You gesture to the envelope, fishing around to change the subject.
“So you going to open that or what?”
And just like that, there’s a new normal. You see Jason everyday in class but he begs off your after school hangouts as often as you two actually spend time together. Conversation is stilted, hidden undercurrents to them of subjects neither one of you wants to address. You’re wary, suspicious of every bump and bruise Jason shows up with. The ease to your friendship has gone, disappeared to the realm of the past.
At the end of October, Jason becomes obsessed with the news. Keeps checking headlines and obituaries, fearful like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. The death of Felipe Garzonas makes the news and the tension in Jason ratchets up. He’s irritable, stops paying attention in classes, blows up when you try to feel out what’s wrong. He’s apologetic every time, promises it won’t happen again until you eventually stop trying to ask questions. Hope that your presence is enough to steady him through whatever it is that is tormenting him.
He asks you once, if you’d believe in his word, no matter what the evidence of something told you otherwise. You tell him you would, always, but that answer doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Winter break comes and goes, without an invitation to visit this time. If anything, Jason comes back more irritable and closed lipped. Mutters something about a fight over Christmas dinner, his brother and Bruce clashing over something. You’re worried about him all the time now. He’s more reckless with himself, won’t look before crossing the road, reacts aggressively to every perceived challenge, throws things when he gets frustrated. He’s changing into someone you don’t recognize in front of your eyes.
April comes and there’s a new light in his eyes. It’s manic and hopeful and the first emotion you’ve seen in him other than fear in months. He won’t tell you what it is, just that there’s something new he’s found out, something about his mother. This time you hope, fingers crossed and a wish on every star that whatever has brought him this hope won’t hurt him.
On Monday, Jason doesn’t come to school. He doesn’t answer your messages or pick up any of your calls. Even when he’s been out sick he at least lets you know. On Tuesday you get called into the office in the middle of first period. You haven’t been back to the secretary’s office since the day you enrolled. The seats are still as overstuffed as you remember. The secretary is the same, a few more grey streaks in her perfectly set hair. Her eyes are red, and she’s got one of those old fashioned handkerchiefs in her hands.
“I’ve got some bad news honey, and I— I think it would be best if you sit down for it.”
“Oh— will this take long? Only I got pulled out of class and we’re reviewing for the exam next week.”
“Oh honey.” She has to pause to dab at her eyes before continuing. “You’re going to be excused from all exams next week, okay? I need you to know that the school will do whatever we can to support you through this.”
Now, now you are scared. “Support me through what? It’s not my mom is it?”
“Honey it’s Jason, Jason Todd. I’m so sorry but he passed away yesterday. I’ve contacted your parents and your mother is on the way to come pick you up.”
Her words don’t make any sense.
“But he can’t be. I saw him on Saturday. There’s been a mistake. He’s not dead.” Your legs don’t work anymore and you hit the couch, hard, sliding off the overstuffed pillows to kneel on the floor. You don’t feel any of it. There’s copper in your mouth, you must have bitten your tongue on the way down but you can’t feel it. There’s movement in your peripheries, and your mother crouches down into your field of vision.
“Mom, mom they made a mistake. She’s— she’s saying that Jason’s dead, but he can’t be. Mom he’s not dead.”
“Sweet pea, I’m so, so sorry. It’s been on the news all morning.”
It rips through you then, grief. Sobs shake your whole body, your mother doing her best to hold you together. There’s a roaring in your ears like you’re caught in a vacuum. You can’t see through the tears. Your body is trembling violently and you can’t care enough to try and stop it. Nothing matters anymore. Jason’s dead.
To get to the car, your mother has to half carry you. There’s no point in moving. You’re not sure how you end up in your bed at home but you do. You don’t sleep but you aren’t really awake either. The tears don’t stop coming. You’re nothing but an open wound, not even really a whole person. The world’s burned down to ash and you’re just floating through it. You know your parents come in to talk to you, can hear the murmur of their voices but you don’t care. There’s food put in front of you but it holds no interest to you. You might have had sips of water, maybe some broth but you don’t remember and you don’t care. The only thing you really register is Haley, nestling up to you and making biscuits with his paws in your blankets.
Jason’s funeral is on Friday and you can’t get out of bed to go. Jason’s not in that coffin, not really. He won’t be there and so you won’t be. Jason’s never coming home. Jason’s dead, Jason’s dead, Jason’s dead plays on a loop. You never got to tell him. He died without knowing you loved him. His death has ripped you open like nothing ever has before, regret a constant salt in the wound. He never told you that he was thinking of leaving, of going anywhere. It feels wrong at this point, to interrupt his family in their grief, another stranger claiming to have known their son. After all, how well did you really know him if you didn’t even know he was going to leave?
Grief swallows you whole, but over time you learn to live with it. Days blur together. The tears dry up but the not caring doesn’t. Inside of your head is a wall, separating you from the reality of a world without Jason. You’re wrapped in wool and safe behind glass, unable to care about anything. It’s easier that way.
The school passes you for the year, citing personal tragedy, and you don’t care. Summer comes and the only difference is that your mother comes in and throws your windows open every morning. It’s Jason’s birthday soon, too soon. He’ll never be sixteen but you will be. He’ll never have his Words come in. He’ll never get the chance to do all the things he talked about, make Gotham a better place, travel the world. But you can.
It makes no sense to live for a dead boy but it’s all you’ve got. So you do what you have to do. It gets you to leave your bed for the first time in months. To start eating again, even if there’s no taste to the food in your mouth. To shower and take care of yourself for the first time in ages. Your room is clean for the first time in months and the first thing you do is take down your photograph from the 8th grade formal and put it away in a desk drawer.
By September, you have gathered yourself enough to return to school despite the worried looks of your family. It is hard, the hardest thing you have ever done but you do it for the boy that will never graduate high school. You sit by yourself at your desk, you eat lunch by yourself, you go straight home after class without any detours. The school play this year is Romeo and Juliet. You take home the sign up flyer and consider it, hard. In the end you decide to leave it. Jason may have always wanted to try out for the play but you won’t survive torturing yourself with this. On opening night you tell your parents you’re going to see it and get drunk on the gymnasium roof.
You make it through your last two years of high school a ghost. Administration tries to pressure you into meeting with a therapist but you refuse. You don’t want to experience your grief at all. Numbness is the only way you are going to survive this, your new reality. You do take them up on their suggestion of volunteering. Working with the Martha Wayne Foundation for Underprivileged Children gives you a sense of purpose. Of helping other Crime Alley kids without the benefit of nepotism to get them into places like Gotham Academy. It stokes the first emotion in you other than numbness, and that’s rage for all the ways in which these kids have been failed.
You accept a full scholarship to Gotham University. Your parents couldn’t be more proud of your achievement but you can barely muster the energy to smile. Keep up the volunteer work while rushing through your degree in two years instead of four. With nothing else to drive you, you’ve got nothing but time for school. The Martha Wayne Foundation offers you a position in fundraising, and you accept. It’s not what you envisioned for yourself, but it’s a path forward with purpose.
You move out, into your own apartment in an area that’s probably too dangerous for a girl of your age but you can’t stand to be at home anymore. The job consumes your life and you are grateful for it. It’s important work, even if some of the policy meetings on accepting donations from the Red Hood make you want to fall asleep. You make use of your Gotham Prep connections, rubbing elbows with the rich for just as long as it takes to pry open their wallets. It’s ridiculous but the higher ups trot you out to entertain at fundraising events, a pretty young face to pull in more donors. Occasionally you see Bruce, or Dick, or the newest ward Tim at functions, always across the room before you quickly excuse yourself. The numbness carries you through your life but there are limits to it and you’re not eager to test them.
Even five years later, you can’t go back to the park. You’ve never had another chili dog, though you’ll hire the vendor to cater community events. You’ve worked your way back into the public library, but still avoid the alcove on the second floor in the encyclopedia section. There’s a handful of arcade tokens in a plastic bag in your apartment still unused. Batburger is still your favourite, but you still can’t set foot in the location nearest to the Academy.
You keep yourself so busy that when your Words come in, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t know…”, you barely give it a thought, just pulling the cuff of your shirt lower to cover your wrist. Carry on with the rest of your morning routine and head into the office. From that point on, your sleeves are always long and your gala outfits gain elbow length opera gloves. You never bother trying to read the rest of it. It doesn’t matter anymore.
It’s a cold February morning. The bus broke down two stops from the office and now you have to walk the rest of the way in the snow. Standing at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change, you pass the time by scanning the headlines on the nearest newsstand. “Lost Wayne son found alive” screams out at you, tearing into your heart bloody. You lose grip of your work bag, but manage not to lose your mind in the street. Picking your bag up out of the slush, you run into the nearest bodega bathroom and lock the door with trembling hands. Shove a fist into your mouth and scream as the tears pour down your face. You’re shaking, worse than you were all those years ago. Snot blocks your nose and you have to stop screaming to breathe. So you do what needs to be done. Fumbling with your coat pocket, you pull out your phone and call the office, call out sick. It’s the only time you’ve done it in all the time your supervisor has known you but the tremor in your voice and frequent sniffles must alarm her enough.
In a fog, you somehow make it from the bodega bathroom to the front gate of Wayne manor. It doesn’t look like it’s changed at all since your last visit over five years ago, except for the heaving mass of press. You circle round the property and enter through the bushes, the way Jason showed you years ago on a tour of the property. You slip on the snow, fall to your knees but get back up. This is the only thing that matters now. The back door has an elaborate knocker that takes both of your hands to lift. It takes what feels like ages for someone to answer the door. It’s poor Mr. Pennyworth, looking more ruffled than you’ve ever seen him. You’re indescribably rude to the poor man, pushing right past him and into the building. Only one thing matters now and your vision has narrowed out anything outside of achieving your goal.
There’s voices coming from somewhere inside, up the stairs and in the direction of the library. A hand, probably Mr. Pennyworth’s, tries to grab at your wrist but you’re too quick for that. You’re running now, clutching at the bannister as though it will pull you up the stairs faster. A shout from behind and the tone of the voices change, a door slamming in the distance. Finally, finally you reach the library but a body tries to come between you, stopping you in your tracks. Years of grief, anger, and battered hope come roaring through you at the thought of being denied seeing Jason, alive after all this time.
Your voice when it leaves you is dangerously low. “Dick, I presume? You don’t know me, and I’ve heard very little about you from Jason and what I did hear I didn’t like. I’m going to make this simple.” The door behind him cracks open, but you soldier on anyway. “Jason Todd was my best friend and first love.” The body stiffens, but that doesn’t matter in this moment. “You are going to step aside and-” anything else doesn’t matter because a door is thrown open and there is Jason.
Eyes wild, a good deal older and more scarred than before, but he’s alive. And then nothing else matters but the feel of his arms warm around you, the imprint of his jacket on your face, the smell of him largely unchanged. He’s alive and he’s real and you can touch him. You draw back to look at him, drink in the sharpened angle of his jaw, the blue-green of his eyes, the white streak in his hair. He’s grown taller and broader than he had over that wretched summer so many years ago. What catches your eye is the writing at the hollow of his throat, a stark black spreading across his collarbones exposed by the v of his t-shirt. Jason Todd was my best friend and first love, it reads.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I didn’t know you felt the same.” He says and your wrist starts to burn.
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jarofstyles · 5 months
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Illicit- 4
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Heyyyy my loves! Here is part 4 of Illicit and a better look into Harry's behavior without Y/N... not a nice man but he's OUR man <3
Check out our Patreon where we have exclusive writings and early access to the next 2/3 parts of Illicit!
Series Masterlist
Wc- 3.3k
warnings- asshole h, infidelity, slight violence, paparazzi
---------
Harry was reaching a boiling point. 
Katherine had stolen him away from Y/N for the night, under the guise her father set as a business dinner. Said he had something to discuss with him at a new, up and coming restaurant that it was imperative that he came tonight. He had to peel himself away from Y/N who was curled on his couch with her laptop in her lap, doing a bit of clothing shopping while he leaned against her to help veto and approve on things she was on the fence about. He had been having a very good time being domestic this afternoon to be forced away was already pissing him the fuck off. 
So to find a table clear of said man and just see his daughter there with a scheming beam on her face? It was the worst possible option. Of course, she assured him that her ‘daddy’ would be coming shortly, but by the time their entrees arrived, Harry was fairly certain of what was happening. 
H: I need wine when I get home. 
Y/N: Yeah.. someone sent me an article. 
Harry’s stomach dropped when she sent the link, an article that must have only been published just a few moments ago. A photo of a preening Katherine across from him had been snuck. Thankfully his face was blank, ever so practiced. She was leaning across the table with a preen all over her face, the angle taken so you couldn’t see the third drink set out for her father who was mysteriously not there. 
This had to be a set up. He wasn’t giving the image of the doting, in love boyfriend that Katherine wanted and she was obviously a bit more cunning than he had originally anticipated. He was beginning to piece things together again, and he was getting more furious by the minute. 
The real anger stemmed from being taken away from one of the rarer nights he didn’t have work to check up on periodically, and he’d cleared it just for her. It was like she somehow knew how to piss him off out of some fucked up intuition. While Y/N had the owner's manual on how to make him happy, Katherine knew how to make him irrationally angry. Despite his asshole behavior he was still nice compared to the whole plethora of things he wanted to tell her.
He had no qualms about embarrassing her publicly. It’s where she had weakness. Her reputation. 
H: I’m leaving in a moment. I have a theory about this. Brant Jr never showed up. 
Y/N: Seriously????
H: Yes. What ice cream do you want me to pick up on my way home, my love?
Y/N: ……
Y/N: You’re good, H. Mint Choc pls <3
H: Anything for you. I’ll be home soon. Go get changed into something more comfortable. 
Harry tucked his phone back in his pocket, turning to Katherine who had been watching him curiously. “So when are you going to admit you stole your father’s work phone and tricked me here?” He had waited until the waitress was in earshot. This was a story he wished would actually show up on TMZ. “Because I was having a very important evening and was torn away from people I had meticulously scheduled to come here and discuss ‘emergency business’ changes. I didn’t ask you to dinner because I didn’t have time for these silly things, and because I didn’t want to.” Harry tugged his wallet out. “You are childish. I knew that. But messing with important business shit because you’re trying to trick me into a dinner and planting one of your friends at another table to get some clicks for your weird fangirls living vicariously and extra money?” He pointed directly where he had found one of her friends, the redhead’s eyes widening as Harry caught her phone up and gave his stone cold glare. “My business isn’t a fucking game, Katherine. Wasting my time when I’m doing things because you’re throwing a childish tantrum because I can’t shower you in affection every hour of the day? What did we discuss last time?”
“Harry, darling, you’re being a bit loud-” Katherine chuckled nervously, eyes wide as she had been figured out. The waitress and tables close could clearly hear him. She hated negative attention and had been working at trying to market them as some sort of ‘it couple’, which wasn’t going to work for him anymore.  He was growing tired of this scheme and really needed her to just end it so the contract could be over, null and void. 
“I can be louder, if you want.” He said ruthlessly. “I can let all of your little friends know the image of our relationship you paint is a sham, that you try to make me out as someone who I never had been, and never will be for you. I am not in love with you, Katherine. I told you, if you wanted to date me that it would be on my terms. If that makes me an ‘asshole’” He sneered, “So be it. I’ve never lied about my stance in dating you. I let you prance around and use my name to get into clubs that your own last name is too irrelevant to get you into, I allow you to pose photographs of me though you know I despise it when you do, I allow you to use my yacht and I let you use my home in Los Angeles before I sold it to have one of those stupid influencer parties you love to post about although, I know you hate half of those girls.” He knew his voice was carrying, but he didn’t care.  “You are the one hurting yourself by making this relationship out to be anything but it is. A means to an end.” For both of them, but she would know now just how onto her he’s been. 
“I’ve let it go for a while. I’ve allowed you to do what made you feel better because if it kept you off of my back while I handled things on my own, I was fine.You even harassed my friends for the lake house keypad number, which is fucking pathetic.” it really was and Harry had been mad since then, but this was growing past a disrespect he was willing to accept. “ But you’re fucking with business now. I will not ever stand for it. If I say no, it means no. If I say not tonight, it means not tonight. If I say to stop calling, stop fucking calling me.” He let his voice seethe while his face remained mostly it’s usual cold sneer, throwing a few bills on the table. “Continue fucking with my business and see how that ends up. Your father could build up a company, and I can take it down just as fast.”
He stood up, righting his jacket as he watched her pale face, knowing he had just scared her. He didn’t care. Maybe there was something wrong with him, but he truly, to the bottom of his heart, didn’t care about her feelings. The one girl he cared about was waiting for her mint chocolate chip ice cream. 
“Are- Are you threatening me?” She shriekd quietly, making Harry pause, calling their waitress all the way over.
“It’s not a threat, but a promise.” There was no questioning that he meant it. Looking towards the waitress, he handed her a generous tip and nodded, leaving the restaurant to find flashing cameras. One particular flash pissed him off, and catching Harry in a bad mood was not a good thing to do. 
His hand shot out, grabbing the surely expensive to the man’s camera, and threw it forcefully onto the pavement. It shattered into little pieces, the lens crackling on the sidewalk and the plastic of the body falling into shards, his blank stare going from the broken beyond repair camera to the sputtering camera man. His face was tomato red while Harry’s jaw remained sharp and clenched, raising a brow in challenge. 
“What the fuck! My fucking camera!” He bellowed. “I’m gonna sue the fuck out of you!” 
Harry grabbed his business card out from his pocket, handing it to the man. “Reach out. It will be a pleasure to beat you in court.” 
His car was in the lot, which he quickly got to and peeled out of the parking lot. He wasn’t even inside of the shop yet when he got a call from Y/N. Her contact photo brought a smile to his face, answering it as he briskly walked inside the automatic doors and grabbed a little basket. 
“Hi, my love.” He murmured, making his way towards the back, knowing the exact brand she wanted from the freezer. 
“Did you really break a camera?” Y/N squeaked into the phone. It made him laugh, not pausing in his expedition. She was still relatively new to his life and didn’t seem to google him like everyone else who met him. Even if it felt like she was meant to be with him forever, that their souls had always been familiar, she hadn’t seen much of that side of him yet. 
“Yes.” He hummed. “Shoved it in my face, blinded me for a moment. I was already angry. The photographers know it's a risk when I’m involved, darling.” It was sort of his thing. If people got too close, hit him with it, intruded on his personal space, he was quick to rid himself of the problem. They were lucky he chose the camera and not the person behind it. Harry really didn’t care, and he knew some would label him as toxic or maybe even crazy, but it wasn’t something he cared about. His temper was notorious. 
“Christ! H!” Y/N laughed in disbelief. “Hannah sent me an article. There’s a video circling social media. I haven’t watched it yet.” 
“Good. Don’t, it’s a waste of time yeah? Told you I’m an open book for you, sweetheart. Can ask me any questions you’d like when I get back to you.” He tucked the phone between his shoulder and cheek, opening up the freezer door to grab their designated flavors. “Stay comfortable for me, I’m just about to check out and get home t’you. I’ll talk to you in a bit.” It was something Harry wished he could have happen every day. Going home to her. She was the centerpiece of his home now and her absence was palpable when he got home and she was at her own place or out and about. 
They said their goodbyes and Harry found himself lost in his head as he used the self check out to pay for their sweets. He avoided most social interaction when he could because everyone always had a favor to ask him, a question, a dig. It was nice to be able to pay and avoid the pointless small talk with a cashier who usually didn’t give an actual shit, or someone who obviously gave far too much of one. His lone wolf lifestyle suited him just fine- but now Y/N fit into it. She wasn’t just anyone, her voice didn’t grate on his nerves, and he was in love with her. He figured adding another lone wolf to his life wouldn’t hurt- not when it was her.
—-
“Harry…” Y/N laughed, licking her spoon clean. “While I am most definitely proud of you for how quickly you can come up with comebacks and witty words, I’d prefer they not be needed at all.” Her smile faded, leaning further into him. The man had stripped himself of his suit and found his clothes after a quick shower, trying to rid himself of the disaster and waste of a night. Now he was going to be with the woman he had been looking forward to spending time with for the rest of the night. 
“Unfortunately, s’part of the job.” His thumb rubbed over her shoulder as she leaned into the man, his neediness even more apparent when he’d plucked her up from her spot and sat down to settle her in his lap. “Paparazzi are, for some reason, something that still is a thing and they make a pretty penny on photos of me because I like to dodge them.” Harry was not the stereotype of a nepotism child. He did work for what was given to him but he was under no false pretenses. He knew that he was born into an almost impossible wealth, one that some of his peers had deluded themselves into thinking they could be anything. The so-called ‘self made’ millionaires as if they didn’t have billions to cushion their blow if they were to be shot down. He liked to hide away from the attention part of it the best he could, but sometimes appearing at things was a necessary evil. 
“I know.” The angel in his lap grumbled. “I know it is but it still makes me irritated that you have to worry about it. That they’ve gotten so far in your face that you were even able to do that. It’s just rude and invading your privacy.” Her little pout did something to his formerly black, charred heart. 
Y/N was his opposite in a good way. She was love and warmth and light and morals. Harry was cold, cruel, darkness. Iron compared to gold. If it were anyone else, he thinks he may be slightly annoyed by their cheerfulness, their optimism. Harry had seen a lot of the world and a lot of the bad sides of people, skeletons hidden in closets and the life of the elite. It was hard to be optimistic at times when he’d seen such hopelessness, but she managed to peel back some of the grimy layers in his dim outlook in life, his cynical snarks and soften the jagged edges just a bit. He wasn’t a changed man- no. He didn’t have rainbows out his ass, he wasn’t a warm being, but he held the new wick that was lit up in a dim glow when it came to her. He could be good to her. Thankfully Y/N wasn’t looking for more. She didn't want to change him. 
“Oh, my love.” He sighed, his hand chilled from the ice cream coming up to her chin. “It’s alright. They’ll learn at some point. Besides… It isn’t a normal occurrence when I just go out, not normally. Katherine called them, I’m positive.” The mirth in his eyes returned at the reminder of the woman. “I’m going to call Brant tomorrow and let him know of the antics, but I’m going to threaten again. I don’t want to be under this contract anymore.” His voice quieted, looking at Y/N who dropped her eyes from his. His stomach twisted, knowing where her head went. “Hey, sweetness. Look at me.” He urged, trying to catch her eyes again. “You know that I’m looking for every way out, yeah? If I can’t use that, m’gonna move on to the next idea. It’s hard when I’m contract bound, but I’m going to make her break up with me.” 
Honestly,  he was surprised she hadn’t just from tonight. It had him suspicious of her. There was no way that her ego wasn’t bruised from his spiked tongue tonight. He’d made sure other people heard the verbal hits, made sure some of it would be sold to the same publication she was trying to make a few bucks off by planting her friends to take photos. There was a prayer in his mind that maybe that would move it on, make her give him up. Surely, she was someone’s dream trophy wife. Sure as fuck not his, but maybe someone else. 
“I know. I just hate….” Y/N paused, giving her eyes back to him. “I hate that she makes you so miserable, but I’m glad that you hate her. I feel like an awful human being, but I just hate so much about her and It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.” 
This was news to Harry, surprisingly enough to actually show on his face. She’d mentioned disliking Katherine before but to see her struggling with her hatred towards the woman who was trying to claim her boyfriend as hers in the public eye, it made him feel even more guilty. He didn’t want this for her, he didn’t want her upset- but he knew that it was his own fault. 
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Y/N.” He said seriously. “I know that hatred isn’t something that your pretty heart feels a lot so m’sure it does feel a bit off but I promise you, it’s worth hating.” There was a pause, thumb squeezing her jaw slightly and watching as it popped open from the little trick. “If I had to see you out with someone else… I’d be murderous. If another man said you were his, I’d enjoy knocking every tooth from his skull.” His jaw tightened. There was no way. Every time he thought about it it made him ache, so he knew that it must be similar to her. Though he couldn’t imagine Y/N’s gentle soul to be murderous, she at the very least must be angry. 
“Cool it, cowboy.” Y/N crooned, watching as his brain was visibly showing his thoughts on his face. “No one is coming to get me. I’m all yours.” It was like she was soothing a dragon. To be fair, Harry was pretty sure that if it could, smoke would be coming from his ears or his nose. Y/N could read him very well but to be honest, he did little to hide his emotions from her anymore. His girl was just good at knowing him, and he appreciated every moment of it. He couldnt lie and say that her insistence of being his didn’t please him- it absolutely did. 
Harry had quite a few morally gray qualities and one was his possessiveness. Words like that, telling him that she was all his, it made him hard. Settled him in a primal, animalistic way and he wasn’t going to stop it. Y/N had been clued into it, knowing the exact right thing to sway his mood a different way. Knowing that the woman curled up to him thought of herself as his, that she was fully belonging to him and would be proud to be his as soon as they could be in the limelight. Harry would be equally as happy with people knowing he belonged to her, and he had no shame in labeling himself as so- but Y/N was playing into his weaknesses. 
“You are, aren’t you? And I’m yours.” His voice dropped an octave, moving his hand down a little bit to cup the side of her neck. “No matter what she tries to play to the public, no matter the image shes trying to sell, I belong to you, sweetheart. Heart and soul. It’s all yours.” No truer words had been spoken. Harry was an honest man, most of the time, but this wasn’t something he would lie about. He wouldn’t declare his heart as hers if it wasn’t. “My messy little girl.” He swiped away a bit of ice cream from the corner of her lip with his free hand, bringing it to his mouth to suck it away, keeping her eyes on his. Her ice cream was melting in the tub in her hand, and Harry had a better idea on what too with it now. 
“Let’s not talk about her anymore, my angel.” He suggested, gently moving her closer to him. “Why don’t you let me have my sweets now, yeah? Taste them off of you?”
372 notes · View notes
httpiastri · 8 months
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dating paul would include... ᰔᩚ
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traveling during the breaks
obviously, if you date paul, you have to go on vacations with him. we've all seen his vacation pics from the summer (and winter) breaks, the pink swimming trunks and the linen shirts showing off his chest and shoulder muscles so beautifully. but not only are vacations with him great because you have the world's best piece of eye candy with you; you'd also have a blast with him.
going on vacation with paul means traveling around italy on a vespa, him driving you around as your arms are wrapped around his torso. the way your grip tightens and the sound of your squeals when he speeds up makes him bubbly, and if he feels stable enough, he places one of his hands on top of yours as he drives, fingers intertwining with yours.
it means you both deciding that your personal mission on the trip is to find the best pizza and pasta in the country, traveling around to different cities to experience and rank the restaurants with the highest ratings on the internet. it means midnight pizza runs to that place in the city that's open 24/7, forcing paul to taste the hawaiian slice you ordered despite how much he whines about pineapple not belonging on pizza. and it means visits to romantic little restaurants, not being able to say no to him when he suggests doing the 'lady and the tramp'-move with the spaghetti, both of you giggling until you're almost thrown out after accidentally bumping noses.
it means spending a lot of time at the beach, going swimming and sunbathing and just relaxing together. you cheer him on when he does his flips from cliffs and bridges, mostly watching from afar, but he always finds some way to trick you into coming up to the cliff with him – and then he always pulls you in with him. but you also go to the beach at night, walking barefoot along the shoreline and feeling the warm sand between your toes. you look at the stars together, his hand on your waist squeezing you close to him and his fingers drawing random figures into your skin as you point out the constellations to him. his lips pressing against your forehead as he hums, nodding along to whatever you're saying, is a confirmation that he's listening – even when he's more focused on your pretty lips and soft skin.
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taking care of you
paul is very caring. he often comes off as cool and casual to other people, but the soft spot in his heart for you makes paul act a bit differently with you. whenever he's around you, he wants to make sure you know that you're the most important thing to him. he listens well, gives you advice when you come to him with issues, and he takes care of you in every way he can think of.
he's attentive, and after having known you for many years now, he knows what every subtle little sign of yours means. he can tell when you're only pretending to be happy, when you're uncomfortable, when you need something; he can read you like an open book. therefore, it doesn't come as a big surprise when he notices how quickly you're getting drunk on one night out.
it starts off lightly, with you sipping slowly on some kind of fruity drink while chatting off with dino's girlfriend, growing more relaxed for every passing minute. paul notices instantly, but he lets it slide – you're in a club, after all, and you're all there to drink. the drinks turn into shots, and the chats turn into showing off your moves on the dance floor, while paul merely sits at your table and watches you with a big grin on his face. through the night, he keeps ordering glasses of water that he helps you down in-between your drinks. but despite his services, it doesn't take too long before you get a little too 'tipsy', walking up to him with wobbly legs and such a soft expression on your face.
"paulie!" you exclaim as you come up to stand next to where he's sitting. he notices instantly – you only call him that when you're drunk. "did you see my moves?"
paul nods, a little smile taking over his lips. "you were great." one of his hands reach up to your waist, pulling you a little closer. "how are you feeling?"
"lovely!" you turn your head to the side, looking out on the dance floor again. "i think i'm going to go back, it's so much fun, you should come with me, we can dance and-"
the sound of a chuckle leaving his mouth makes you stop in your ramble, eyes darting back at him instantly. "i think we should go now, actually."
"go where?"
"to your apartment. or mine, or-"
"why?"
paul shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear. "because you're drunk, sweetheart."
you frown – you're having so much fun, why leave now? "that makes no sense."
"maybe it does, maybe it doesn't." paul places his other hand on your waist too, and his hands squeeze your sides. "let me take you home and take care of you. please?"
you cross your arms over your chest, huffing. "what's in it for me?"
"well," he snickers. "i'll give you as many kisses as you want. and i'll help you with your skincare." the way his fingers dance up and down your ribs tickles, and the tingling sensation is so immense you can't hold back a smile. "i'll even massage your feet, since they must be dead after dancing so much in those shoes."
you can't hold up the sulky act anymore, so you take his hands in yours and nod. "only if you give me a kiss now, too. just so i know what i can expect."
a laugh bubbles from his chest as he stares at you in complete adoration. he lets you pull him up so he's standing, before he engulfs your face in his hands and gives you a sweet smooch.
paul is a good man, so he keeps his promises. when you fall asleep in the cab, all worn out from dancing, he carries you carefully up to his apartment and makes sure not to wake you up, before tucking you in between the sheets. he gets a makeup wipe from the bathroom – it's better than nothing, he thinks – trying his best to be as detailed in his cleaning yet not rough enough to wake you up. he massages your feet for a few minutes, hoping that it'll make some difference in the morning. and even if you're not conscious enough to remember it, he does give you tons of kisses. on your forehead, your cheeks, your temple, the corner of your lips.
paul is a caring, lovestruck fool, and his soft heart beats only for you.
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race rituals
surprisingly enough, paul likes to be structured and have the same schedule & rituals before a race. he may seem like someone who doesn't care, someone who's extremely easy-going, but it's the rituals before he even gets to the track that let him be carefree.
on media days and the fridays of the weekends, a lot of people assume he's got a devil-may-care kind of attitude. he's often spotted joking around with dino, throwing american footballs with karl, or just chilling on the floor of the prema truck. on the earlier parts of the week, he eases up – but the moment he sits down in the car before quali on friday, he switches his focus. he's completely and fully zoned in for the racing.
when he's done with qualifying, the first thing he needs is to have his debrief with his trainers. depending on the result of the session, the debrief can be lighthearted or serious, but the driving always needs to be discussed. then he needs to confirm tomorrow's schedule, to make sure it's all set and ready to go. and lastly, he needs to talk to you.
you always find some secluded corner of the paddock, sitting together on the floor with one of his arms draped around your shoulders. you don't need to talk about the qualifying itself; if it's gone badly, he'll ask you what you've done all day, what you had for lunch, and which drivers you've seen around the paddock. but if it's gone well, he won't shut up about it. he'll tell you about all of the corners he got the most out of, what parts of the track he could've improved in, and how he felt when his trainers praised him on the radio. all this while you're holding his free hand, playing with his fingers and resting your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeats all the way in to your own heart.
he has a routine for the mornings before races, too. they all start in the hotel room after he wakes up. first, he brushes his teeth. then, he needs to make sure all of his necessities are packed; race suit, shoes, gloves, anything else he might need. then, he always has the same breakfast.
all steps of his routine are important, but his most important ritual is the one that includes you.
the one thing he needs the most right before he leaves through the hotel room door is a hug from you. he needs you to hold him tight, press your lips to his cheek, and whisper to him that he'll do well. he needs you to assure him that no matter what, you're there for him and you believe in him. with your trust, he can do anything.
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post-season comfort
paul desperately needed encouragement.
after spa, and especially after the season finale in monza, things felt extra rough for him. it was hard for him to recover from the fact that everything had slipped through his fingers. sure, he put on a big smile when congratulating gabriel and zak for p1 and p2 in the championship, and he was genuinely happy that prema won the teams championship. but he couldn't help but to feel... sour. he believed that he deserved that win, or at least the second place. if only he hadn't been so unlucky...
you see right through him, of course. no matter how hard he pretends that he's fine, that it doesn't matter and that he's fine with third place in the championship, you don't believe it. you know him, and you'd do anything to help take his mind off things, to get him to stop overthinking it.
post-season means a lot of sessions in the gym and even more time spent on the sim, preparing for everything that's to come and trying to work on the weaknesses that showed this past season. it's very physically demanding, and in combination with the disappointment from his championship standings, it leaves him exhausted most of the time.
but whenever he's free, you see it as your duty to take him away from it all. the stress, the racing, the pressure. you know that deep down, he does love it; racing is his life for a reason. but you also see how worn out he is, how his smile doesn't really meet his eyes anymore, how persistent the bags under his eyes are. sometimes, the emotions can be too much, and you love to help him out even just a little.
so, every day off, you plan something for him. you go rock climbing, swimming, stargazing. you go on road trips to nearby cities, sightseeing and pretending to be tourists even in areas you've been to hundreds of times. you drag him along to the spa to get massages and to just relax, and he ends up being the one who refuses to leave, despite how he groaned about not wanting to go beforehand. you even take him to race in go-karts, to show him that racing still can be fun and that it doesn't always need to be super competitive (because you threaten him and say that if he speeds away from you in the first straight, there's no way he's getting any kisses, so he has to pretend like he's slow).
it's not like paul doesn't understand what you're doing; he's fully aware of your plans, and he finds them completely adorable. one night, as you're about to part after a romantic dinner date, he stops you on your porch just as you're about to go into your home.
he wraps you in his arms, hugging you close as a deep sigh leaves his chest. he relaxes, his whole body just melting into you as he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck. "thank you," he whispers, his words tickling your skin and his lips brushing the space behind the back of your ear. "i really needed this."
maybe you're reading too much into it, but you know there's so much hiding behind those words. it's not often that he opens up about racing, so you're grateful for every little moment of it, even if it's minimal. "you deserve the world", you tell him, because it’s true. to you, he’s the most precious thing in the world. and by the way he smiles at you, eyes filled with so much gratitude and so much love, you can tell he feels the same way about you.
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oscar piastri version ll ollie bearman version ll f2/f3 masterlist
author's note: very long overdue lol. just like the oscar smut rotting away in my drafts. anyway, i miss paul so much it hurts. looking at old gifs of him and just crying. hope u have a good day too <3
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hellenhighwater · 11 months
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Any tips on how to decorate like your style?
I try to use similar depth of color to tie things together; I also try to pick a theme of sorts for the major furniture in a space. The living room is very formal victorian, and the drawing room is turn of the century workroom, but the two spaces share similar wood tones and cream colors, with accents in deep blue and green.
If I had to put a name to this style, I'd maybe call it eccentric antique maximalism? Mostly, though, I just do what I like.
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Don't get impatient about it. You might find one cool furniture piece in a year, and that's fine. In the meantime, you get hand-me-downs and crappy thrift store stuff that isn't quite what you're looking for, but it does the job. And then when you find something cool, you upgrade and sell off whatever it was that you had before.
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There's also a trick to seeing what something could be. The curtain pulls in the living room are coat hooks, hung sideways and spraypainted gold. I drew on old footlockers with gold pen for side tables; I called dibs on old family photos, I framed waxed fall leaves in dollar store frames because a particular spot needed orange and gold. And I brought home a LOT of dying clearance section plants and performed a little necromancy.
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There's no right way to do this. I often will find something and go, "Is that incredible or do I hate it? Is it too much or just enough?" and sometimes you bring it home and it IS too much, because you don't have everything else yet that makes it make sense. But that's okay. Eventually it will make sense. If you do this long enough, the weird things start to come to you on their own.
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You just keep going, slowly, over time, finding one right thing and getting rid of two wrong ones, and it's never done. Until, eventually, you die, and somebody else gets to go to the best estate sale ever.
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