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#but if i love it i become very attached to canon as written

touchoffleece · 19 hours

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Apology in Advance for the probable incoming Sulemio v Destiel Poll posts.

There are layers to why the dumb ship poll has me feeling so passionate, some are: -Sulemio more or less checked off a Bucket List Want I thought I would die before seeing it become a reality. That being: a Sapphic Anime couple where the main focus and story doesn't revolve around discovering or accepting their sexuality and showing it can be a successful story public perception wise and money wise (G Witch has some of that self discovery stuff but it's like a D or E level plot). And having it so the gay relationship can't be perceived away as besties or sisterhood or with a Bury Your Gays end. -wlw/GL ships constantly getting overshadowed by mlm ships or get played down to hype up mlm ships because "there can only be 1 lgbtqi+ ship" mentality in fandoms. -Sulemio fandom was vibing and more or less quiet until this rewoke us up here on Tumblr. We are all once again speaking and writing deep analytical lengthy posts about how deep, well written and portrayed the love between both characters were not only in subtext but throughly explicit sentences in dialogue or actions of Suletta and Miorine, and the world around them. I am very happy to join in and revisit the awesomeness that their story was since I can't truly replicate the journey that was watching their story as it developed in real time. (Shout out to my 2 het cis male acquaintances who nagged me to give G Witch a shot back when only ep 0 and 1 were out you guys freaking amazing. Bros gave me unforgettable memories.) -But a big one I see not getting talked about a lot is how this match up is giving a big and much needed reality check to western-media-live-action-only-consumers/fans that: Just because something is an animation it does not make that type of art/storytelling/show/whatever you want to call it inferior to live action. A few years back I saw so many west live action tv fans shit endlessly and mercilessly on Magical Girl Utena because of a similar ship poll where it had come down to live action fandom ship vs canon anime ship. (iykyk, I don't want to restart that shit up again since it hurt a lot to watch as someone who liked the ship that was leading but didn't watch Utena-I'm too weak for that hurt- see the show and its contribution towards actual wlw/gl representation get shit on) A lot of the criticisms and punchlines of statements were mocking people for getting attached to cartoons as "grown ass adults"; a criticism any animation enjoyer probably knows all too well. Post so many animation shows in western streaming sites get cancelled or be erased and locked behind vaults because the CEOs think there is no fanbase or value in creating animation, this sentiment more towards animated shows with depth in their stories. I think back to that poll and the ensuing shit show. To think about that back then and see a reflection of that situation with the Ship (Sulemio) that has been stated to be inspired by the ship from Utena (Utenanthy) that was shat on so much by similar media consumers back then who perceived and said animation is a lesser form of storytelling-after seeing so many animation shows I enjoyed get cancelled because of this same sentiment from people thinking no adult wants animation as entertainment- to see Sulemio beat "the greater known" ship from a western live action media show that didn't even want the gay representation associated with itself, it feels like properly bandaging a seeping wound that you were letting "dry out". This all still feels like ship war with ships and fandoms that shouldn't have reason to beef, but the catharsis of seeing such a: powerful, moving, and overall amazing story that is Gundam the Witch from Mercury (free on Youtube to watch btw) and Sulemio's love story get recognized when it still feels like animation as a storytelling device gets looked down upon and has partially been erased, is making me cautiously optimistic that maybe in a few years we can get our amazing in depth animated shows that got taken away because animated storytelling is "just for kids" or "isn't good enough".

#rambles #rants #shower thoughts #sulemio #animation #g witch #gundam the witch from mercury #sapphic thoughts #fandom wank #fandom #fandom meta #lgbtqi+#media analysis #polls #pop culture #pop culture history #hollywood desperately needs change #ao3topshipsbracket

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sawbiter · 4 months

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a field of geranium - yuuji itadori

summary ! you and itadori have been together since middle school. when he randomly breaks up with you and disappears from school, you're left heartbroken and completely alone.

warnings / tags ! angst to fluff , exes to lovers , non-sorcerer reader, hopeful ending! implied fem reader, written with a poc reader in mind (skin tone and race unspecified!), past bullying, yuuji is lowkey dumb, reader is stated to be intelligent, lonely reader .. lots of angst. probably not very canon accurate to how curses work but shush.. reader curses a lot lol.

a/n ! hope you guys like this! i loveee yuuji sm .. this probably isnt good i haven't written in a while ;;

you remember a time when it felt like yuuji would always be around.

when he would kiss your forehead before classes and during lunch, hold your hand as he walked you to class and write you childish love notes during maths.

you never expected him to break up with you, let alone over text. you'd planned on confronting him at school after he had repeatedly dodged your frantic calls, but when you entered the school, yuuji didn't go there anymore.

it stung. yuuji had been your best friend since middle school, defending you from the bullies who'd pick on you for various things that'd later become insecurities of yours. (sometimes you wonder if those things are why yuuji left.)

going back to eating alone in the single stall bathrooms and having nobody to talk to during passing periods was a hard transition. your parents weren't any help either, telling you that high school relationships never lasted.

(you can't bring yourself to throw away the promise ring he gave you.)

you see him out one day, with a pretty brunette girl, carrying shopping bags for her. you go up to him; he's clearly moved on. (you can understand why. she's gorgeous.) he doesn't seem to notice you.

you're sitting alone the class garden for your botanicals class. you remember a time this was your favourite class (it was one with yuuji; go figure.)

now it's filled with bittersweet memories and the grief over someone you know isn't dead.

you're calm as a boy you've never seen before approaches you. your hands are gloved and your hair is a bit messy as you look up at him.

“be careful around here, please. it's class policy not to walk on the soil.” you scold a bit, his boots having crushed one of the plants.

he looks down at you, his face a bit stoic, “sorry.”

“it's alright- did you need something?” you smile at him politely.

he snaps his fingers, frowns a bit, then says “nope,” and walks off.

you'd never seen him before. he didn't even have the right uniform on.

“i cannot believe you just made me do that.” megumi rolls his eyes.

yuuji frowns a bit, “i'm sorry but- i can't go up to her.” megumi rolls his eyes as nobara fumes a bit.

“you broke up with her over text. no wonder no girls like you.” she snarks and yuuji just glares at her.

“i had just eaten sukuna's finger! i thought i was gonna die soon anyways!” he argues back,

“well then why haven't you tried to talk to her again? not that she should take you back- i pity the fact that she dated you at all.” nobara speaks as they walk away from the school.

“she probably has new friends anyways, plus she could get hurt, she's not a sorcerer.” yuuji says, his face looking almost like a kicked puppy.

nobara looks at him and raises an eyebrow, “didn't you say you were her only friend? that curse probably attached to her cause she's lonely.” she pops her gum after saying the last sentence.

“even more proof that me being around her is dangerous! plus- what if sukuna gets out around her while i sleep or something?!” he sighs, looking back and sneaking a peak at you in the botanical garden, “she's better off.”

megumi looks at him a bit, “i'm not surprised. you are the self sacrificing type after all.”

“i just think its rude to break up over text with no explanation, you guys were together for so long too.” nobara shrugs a bit.

“if i had spoken to her any more than that, i think i would've tried to stay.“ yuuji frowns.

two weeks after the boy approached you in class, your botany teacher dies in a freak accident, or at least that's what the police said. you aren't too sure.

ms. woods was a smart woman. you knew from the lunches you'd spend in her classroom to avoid bullies that she seriously loved plants.

so dying by ingesting a poisonous plant? out of character and frankly, insulting. you know that can't be the whole story.

that boy had something to do with it; it has to be. you look through your yearbooks after he had left; no sight of him. you go through all of your classes, all grades, you ask around. nothing. he didn't go to your school but he walked up to you during botany class and then two weeks later your teacher dies.

it can't be a coincidence. you go nearly crazy over it. you stay up multiple nights. you cry.

you remember when ms. woods called you smart, when she understood your grief over itadori and let you extend your onion cell project. you cry; something horrible happened to her, you just know it.

so, the night you stay in the school way too late studying poisonous plants in her room, you have a good excuse for why you see a huge monster in the hallway.

at first, you think you're seeing things from the sleep deprivation. you blink, rub your eyes and squint. it's still there.

“holy shit!” you jump out of your seat, going for the door to the garden before realizing they're locked, only able to be unlocked via a key- which you don't have.

the monster, a disgusting bipedal amalgamation of red roses, vegetables, cacti and other odd plants was slowly walking towards you.

“what the fuck.. oh my god- what the fuck?!” you shout, your hands shaking as you go to grab the nearest object to defend yourself as you press your body against the door. you grab a glass flask and hold it out as if it's at all a threat to the 8 foot creature in front of you.

the creature groans and you begin to tear up. this is it- you're about to die the same way ms. woods must have. nobody is going to mourn you besides your parents. you're going to die with people thinking you injested a poisonous fucking plant. you shut your eyes tight in preparation as it approaches.

it never does. you hear the creature use ms. woods' voice to cry out as someone attacks it. you peek to look.

its yuuji. and the girl from the mall. and the boy you thought killed ms. woods.

you gasp as they use all sorts of stuff against the thing and- are those bunnies?

“what.” is all you can gasp out as the brunette and the black haired boy run off, chasing the monster.

yuuji looks at you with his puppy dog eyes and you resist the urge to slap his stupid kissable face.

“yuuji, what the hell is going on.” you say, but it comes out as more of a statement than a question.

“i.. um..” he looks back at the two he came with who are now chasing the monster down the science hall, “that's the curse ms. woods left behind.. we're getting rid of it.”

“a curse? and- and you're fighting it?” you ask, puzzled.

“i promise i can explain but,” he pulls you into a tight, squeezing hug, “I was so worried. A special grade curse against you- I was terrified that we'd be too late. We didn't notice in time to get it before it tried to hurt you.”

“did it kill ms. woods?” you ask.

he shakes his head, “no- the grief from her death created that.” you gasp.

“I made that?” tears spill as the adrenaline settles.

“no!” yuuji pulls away a bit, looking at you put still holding onto you, “no. you didn't- it's not your fault. oh my god, it's not your fault- i love you please don't blame yourself!” he hurries to reassure you.

you sob into the crook of his neck, “yuuji- you.. why did you go? i was so lonely. it's been so hard.”

he can feel his heart break as he squeezes you once more in his embrace, “i'm sorry baby- i'm sorry.” yuuji soothes you, rubbing circles into your back, “i didn't want you to get hurt but- it happened anyways.”

after several minutes of silent comfort, you pull away, wiping your tears before giggling.

“where'd you get those face tattoos?” you sniffle and laugh.

yuuji laughs too.

“it's a long story.“

you smile, “tell me about it. i wanna hear.”

#yuuji itadori x reader #itadori yuji x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #yuuji x reader #yuji x reader #itadori x reader #yuuji x you #yuuji itadori #itadori x you #yuuji itadori x you #yuji itadori x reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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bixels · 12 days

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If it's not too much trouble would you mind sharing more on your thoughts about AJ? Esp the line she shouted at Rarity and her "struggle with sexual identity" I'm kind of new so I would like to hear more! Does Rarity also struggle with sexual identity and fearing AJ would leave? I love the family oriented person A and the business inclined and impressed by shiny new things person B trope

Ok, this is gonna get into head canons and personal opinions.

The writing in Rollercoaster of Friendship (and EQG as a whole) is much simpler and more stripped down in comparison to FiM (most likely to appeal to a younger audience; don't want to seem like I'm dissing the writers), but that one confrontation made me sit up in my seat because it carries the entire special.

More under the cut cuz I don't want MLP analyses clogging up my blog.

For one, we've seen AJ get frustrated and angry about the same exact conflict over a girl in FiM (Rara), establishing a pattern. And even though she's right (her friend really is being manipulated), I read both cases as her acting out in jealousy too. Here's this girl who she's felt a unique attachment to being "taken away" and changed by someone new. This is most apparent in RoF; the moment Vignette introduces herself, kisses Rarity on both cheeks, and establishes herself as Rarity's "new best friend," AJ immediately reacts with shock, betrayal, and boldfaced jealousy (made even worse when Rarity forgets her during introductions). Although AJ acts independent, she's actually very emotionally dependent on certain people in her life.

If we come into this with the assumption that AJ has romantic feelings for Rarity –– which is a normal assumption given the director/writer confirmed the special was written as a romantic drama between the two –– AJ's line is all the more heartbreaking. If I may slip into fictional speculation: your crush is no longer listening or paying attention to you, even though you know something is wrong and that she's getting hurt. Your frustration at her lack of awareness is really your anger at her lack of care –– she doesn't care about you anymore. So in a fit of rage, in your big, dramatic confrontation, just to make her look at you, react at you, feel how she's been making you feel all day –– unwanted and unspecial –– you hurt her back. AJ yells, "You're not special!" and Rarity cries.

And what really gets me is that AJ lies. In this moment, she lies that Rarity's not special when (again, assumption of romance) she's the most special person in the world to her. So special that she's placed all her feelings of self-assurance and security on their relationship. So special that the moment their relationship is shaken and she doesn't know to recover it –– recover herself –– she lashes out, acts against her character, and says something dishonest just to hurt the girl she loves.

(Honestly, rewatching this special, AJ is so insecure and attention-needy. The way she pouts and slouches and lags behind the group and says, "Never mind. It's nothing," when asked what's wrong is textbook "please pay attention to me and ask me what's wrong because i need a reason to be honest about feelings i know i should be ashamed of" behavior.)

I think AJ's insecurities (which could be tied to her lack of experience with romantic relationships) reveal how she has a tendency to misattribute and redirect anger onto the person she cares most about (see Simple Ways as well, where she's caught on the opposite end of a jealousy spat). This could easily become a very toxic trait, but AJ grows past it. Near the end of RoF, the two come together and apologize. AJ recognizes her entitlement and confesses her insecurities about their relationship. She felt hurt and attacked when her status as Rarity's best friend/girlfriend was threatened because it's a role she uses to self-identify –– if Rarity isn't hers, she loses part of her identity. And she admits that she thought her motivation was to protect Rarity, but really she was just being selfish and protecting herself. Rarity was busy and stressed and needed someone to lean on just as much AJ needed her. She isn't AJ's emotional support girlfriend, and it wasn't right to expect her to be one.

(Which is why Rarijack is peak because throughout both series, they repeatedly show just how important honesty, open communication, and trust is in maintaining, supporting, and growing a romantic relationship.)

#i got a tag on my post yesterday speculating that i'm an english major #i'm not but i do write a lot of papers on art history and analysis for school so you're not too far off!#i just finished a short 6-pager analyzing a single page from a 1940 superman comic #ask me #anon #not including analysis on rarity cuz this post is way too long. another time.

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alchely · 28 days

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My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

#gallavich #shameless #Gallavich fic rec #fic rec #ao3 #fic rec taken wayyy too seriously #jesus what is wrong with me #f*ck it I'll just tag this now and deal with the links later #if anyone wants to contribute to the list through tags or comments you are WELCOME ❤️#my post

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rainbow-femme · 6 months

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Thinking too much about AFTG again and I know we rag on Neil for being oblivious but I don’t think Andrew understands for most of the story that Neil likes him back

(FYI I haven’t read all the extra content, Nora may have said something about Andrew’s mindset that contradicts this, I don’t care it’s my literary analysis and I control my interpretation and the only canon that exists is what’s in the books. Also I’m Jewish, and the number one rule is anything can be true so long as you can back it up textually)

You’ve got the whole “I’m not your answer and you sure as fuck aren’t mine” line. By this point two things have happened recently: Neil has become outwardly more emotionally and physically vulnerable, and Neil has shown more interest in spending time with Andrew as well as interest in Andrew in general. And Andrew’s response to this seems to be the assumption that Neil is having a crisis he isn’t sharing and seems to have decided that Andrew is the answer to fixing that crisis. To be fair he is having a crisis, Andrew is just an unrelated benefit.

Which makes sense, most of his relationships are based, at least in Andrew’s mind, on him providing a service in exchange for someone’s presence in his life due to his belief that people will not be around him otherwise. So if Neil is looking at him in an open, appreciative, and interested way he seems to assume it’s because Neil, the terrified guy on the run from something, has found himself enjoying the stability Andrew provides and is seeing being near Andrew as a solution to his problems. That maybe Neil has tricked himself into thinking he has feelings for Andrew because he likes having someone take care of him and that’s the reason, and we see from Andrew stopping the kiss when Neil is upset that he does not consider being interested in someone while emotionally vulnerable to be real consent, therefore if Neil is interested in him due to being upset and afraid that is not Neil actually being interested. He also is clearly very agitated by this first kiss, seeming to see himself as a predator who lost control and harmed Neil by taking advantage of him.

He also continues to do nice things for Neil after getting back, despite initially seeming to express frustration, disinterest, and distaste for Neil. Giving him keys to the car, buying him a new charger, giving Neil the shotgun seat. Andrew’s habit of feeling the need to incentivize the people he cares for to stay with him, as well as what appears to naturally be his love language of giving gifts and acts of service as a replacement for verbally sharing emotions. I’m not saying that when he’s doing nice things it’s for personal gain, but I think part of him feels good doing it and part of him believes this is all he has to offer this person. He got back and didn’t say nice things to Neil because he can’t, but he can quietly take care of Neil in a way that says “please stay with me, I want you to be ok” that he verbally can’t. He knows Neil values the ability to leave upsetting situations, that Neil reacted positively the last time Andrew gave him keys, gives Neil a way to charge his phone ie have a lifeline to safety and Andrew when needed, and he’s saying that he still implicitly trusts Neil with things that are important to him. And of course shotgun means “I want you to be the person who is nearest to me”. He similarly starts making a habit of sitting next to Neil when the team is together. Andrew very much is a cat, he’s going to swat at you but also glue himself to your side

There’s also the various moments where Andrew states out loud that he has an attraction and growing emotional attachment to Neil that he has already written off as impossible. He calls Neil a pipe dream, says he knows nothing will come of having an interest in Neil without having made any attempts to see if Neil is interested. If you follow up a confession of interest with a statement that nothing will happen, you can’t be hurt by rejection because you didn’t give the person a chance to reject you.

And it doesn’t seem like it’s because Andrew is purposely avoiding attachments to people. Most of the effort he puts into his life is in his relationships, specifically into giving people reasons to stay near him. He makes the deals with Kevin and Aaron, he could have gone to a school with a more competitive Exy program but went to one where Nicky and Aaron could come and be on the team and in fact made that a requirement, he proves to Kevin that he made the right choice in making Andrew his shield by attacking anyone who hurts Kevin and putting a target on his own back. Before the start of the books we know he went out of his way to connect with Renee and do things for her that meant a lot to her, things that again seem to represent “I am doing her a favor, therefore she will be more likely to stay.” And anything else could be written off as born again Christian charity rather than acknowledge she has love and care for him.

He doesn’t see an attempt at connecting with Neil to be useless because he has no interest in building relationships with people, if there’s anything Andrew is passionate about it’s building and maintaining relationships with people. He sees it as obviously useless because there’s no way Neil would legitimately want to be with Andrew in the same way that Andrew wants him, that it is impossible to consider Neil reciprocating the way he’s feeling because all he wants is Neil himself and he doesn’t think anyone could just want him and think it’s enough.

Neil says he allowed himself to be abused by the Raven’s for two weeks on the chance he could help Andrew, that he wants to care for Andrew even without any personal benefit, and that is when Andrew calls him a pipe dream. Neil has just said that he, the guy who previously was so terrified for his own safety that he put it above all else, would willingly sacrifice his safety for Andrew. When Neil says this Andrew covers his mouth to make him stop talking, which to me suggests that this revelation was an absolute gut punch to him, that what happened to Neil was not only for his sake but accomplished nothing. Andrew’s reaction to Neil saying this is to say that Neil was supposed to be a side effect of the drugs. Meaning what Neil just said made him feel so strongly for Neil that he previously assumed it could not possibly be something he naturally has the capacity to feel.

(And he stills says that he doesn’t think he could ever have from Neil what he wants. So yeah Neil isn’t the only one who can hear a heartfelt confession and come to the conclusion that the other person is completely uninterested)

Also the whole “there is no this” conversation they loop through a few times. Again, Andrew loves building relationships, but they all are ticking clocks in his head, most of them graduation unless he can come up with something to convince them to stay. And then Neil keeps trying to say that there exists a relationship between them that has not been carefully negotiated with a clear end date, which is probably terrifying to a guy who doesn’t think he can trust anyone unless he is providing them something that makes him more useful around than not.

What Neil is proposing is that Andrew has intrinsic value and his presence is all Neil wants, and that probably seems terrifying and untrue. If Neil isn’t getting a tangible benefit that outweighs any perceived inconveniences, and if there is no point where they “re-up” their contract, then at any moment Neil could change his mind and take this thing away from Andrew. He’s had people he loved decide he’s not worth it, he knows it can happen and how terrible it is to experience. He willingly dealt with Drake and harmed himself to keep Cass, and he still lost her because he in and of himself wasn’t enough to be kept and loved because he wasn’t easy enough to love, he was broken, he was damaged. There can’t be a non transactional relationship between them because Andrew can’t see himself being enough and thinks losing it would be too painful to willingly risk

(Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron also seem to have this same view as Neil in their own way of Andrew’s inherent worth to them. Nicky really deserves more recognition for clawing his way to happiness then willingly giving it all up and upending his life and doing things repeatedly that make him unhappy because he cares so much for Aaron and Andrew, aligning himself against possible friends who could make him happy because he will always choose supporting Andrew over himself. And you have Aaron showing that he will fight Andrew tooth and nail if it means they can have a good and lasting relationship, and we see Kevin form genuine love and affection for Andrew outside of their deal, but again Andrew seems to view the relationships at the time as transactional or obligatory on their ends)

Or my favorite, the scene where Andrew makes a comment about Neil’s “neck fetish.” Neil has kissed his neck only about two times by that point, and both times it has elicited what is clearly a pleasurable response from Andrew. But Andrew can’t accept the idea that Neil is doing something with no benefit to himself and only a benefit to Andrew, that he is choosing to take time away from his own immediate pleasure to do something solely for Andrew’s enjoyment of the moment

Neil responds to the comment by saying “You like it, I like that you like it.” Neil is saying that he cares enough about Andrew to have paid attention to what pleases him and wants to take the time when they’re together to make Andrew feel good in a way that Andrew makes him feel good, that he knows Andrew has trauma with physical touch on most of his body but this is a way he can reciprocate that has no negative connotations for Andrew and serves solely to make him feel good. And Andrew does not or cannot let himself see it that way because it’s too vulnerable.

The sex is supposed to be transactional, this is what Andrew has to offer to make Neil stay with him, uninterrupted time of Andrew making him feel good and asking for nothing in return. Neil is breaking the rules, he’s making it reciprocated, if he is making Andrew feel good then Andrew doesn’t have that safety net of being the one with something to offer. So it has to be something that secretly benefits Neil, it has to be that Neil is getting something out of it or Andrew is back to not having anything special that he offers to make Neil stay with him. If it’s just Neil sitting back while Andrew gets him off then Andrew is automatically the most convenient sexual partner for Neil and he won’t look for someone else. If it’s reciprocal, then it stops being a favor Andrew is doing and takes effort on Neil’s end, as well as means the sex includes Andrew knowing what it’s like to be loved and cared for, which means he will feel it’s absence when Neil inevitably leaves because Andrew isn’t convenient enough.

It honestly seems like the turning point is his conversation with Aaron about breaking their deal, Aaron making him choose their deal or Neil. Because it A. Forces Andrew to see that Aaron intends to stay in his life without the deal, meaning that yes one of the most important people in Andrew’s world loves him without a contract. And B. It forces Andrew into a position where he has to take a leap of faith that Neil isn’t going to just walk away, that Neil sees Andrew the way Andrew sees him. And I wonder if Aaron brought up the conversation he had with Neil, that Neil said he didn’t think Andrew would fight for him, and he realized that Neil not only has been thinking about him the way he was thinking about Neil, but that he had this person in his life that he cared about and he was acting in a way that made that person not feel valued and it could probably cause the very thing he wants to avoid by pushing him away.

So you finally get the very end of the last book where Andrew doesn’t deny it when Neil says Andrew likes him, which is for him incredibly vulnerable. He’s shown that he will always protect Neil without their deal of protection, and Neil has shown that he sees everything about Andrew that other people don’t like and he loves Andrew anyway.

Because the story is from Neil’s point of view we see his internal growth as he learns to recognize and accept love and care from others but Andrew has been doing the same, realizing and trusting that Kevin and his family will still be there even if he has nothing tangible to offer, and accepting that someone could genuinely know and understand him, all the things that make him inconvenient, and still want him with no extra incentive because even as broken as he sees himself to be he still has value to others and he can trust Neil in the way he wants Neil to trust him

#long post #this got so much longer than I intended oh my god #this was supposed to be like 3 paragraphs max #I have a lot of thoughts about Andrew desperately wanting love without thinking he can have it #even though he has people who love him #aftg #all for the game #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil

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inkpot909 · 6 months

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Fluff Alphabet: Jotaro Kujo

↳ Reader is written as gender neutral and was previously a part of the trip to Egypt.

A/n: I’ve always wanted to write an alphabet list! And who better to write one for than my favorite marine biologist? I hope y’all enjoy and remember to take care of yourselves. <3

Warning(s): A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it innuendo. Mentions of blood and canon-typical swearing. Very light angst.

(A)ffection - How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?

Let’s face it, the phrases “Jotaro Kujo” and “lovey-dovey” don’t mix.

He didn’t rank high on the affectionate scale, at least, not at the beginning of your relationship.

Instead of being openly affectionate, his main method of expressing his feelings during the beginning was to spend lots of quality time with you. Attached at the hip, he followed you around everywhere.

Another way he expressed his affection was by… introducing or referring to you as his boyfriend/girlfriend?

You still remember the first time you’d met his mother. He brought you home one day, standing a good foot or two to your left. His arms were firmly planted in his pockets, while you awkwardly had to listen to him bluntly say “This is who I’m dating.”

That was his idea of romance.

Jotaro’s come a long way since; it’s a matter of time for him. Quality time is still a large part of his love language, no question, but after settling into the relationship he’ll get the hang of it.

Specifically, he’s more knowledgeable on what you like best and that will certainly shine through in his actions.

This is especially true in private, where he’ll show a side of himself that’s genuinely sweet and more inclined to be physically affectionate.

(B)eauty - What does he admire about you? What does he think is beautiful about you?

Your personal drive and motivations are two things he deeply admires about you!

Specifically, your passions make you incredibly special in his eyes. And this is true regardless of where those motivations lie. If you are passionate in your career, or even about your hobbies, he’ll be sure to take notice.

Whether it’s the way your face lights up when the topic is even slightly mentioned, or the expression of complete focus when knee-deep in whatever it is that compels you to move forward, it can honestly leave him speechless.

He’s a great support as well. Vocally and bluntly expressing a unwavering belief in you. He does this more often if you harbor any insecurities towards your passions as well.

Physically speaking, he adores your eyes the most.

The amount of times he’s drowned himself in the vast ocean contained within your irises is uncountable. It’s grounding, comforting, and will likely never fail to make his heart flutter.

His staring is a constant in your relationship. During the platonic stage, the beginning of you dating, and all throughout your years of marriage.

(C)omfort - How would he help you when feeling down/having a panic attack/etc.?

Much like with displaying affection, Jotaro’s going to be rather shit at this in the beginning.

Where it differs, however, is that his attempts at making you feel better were likely the first signs of his deeper feelings towards you.

As the journey to Egypt developed, so did both of your understanding of one another. Namely, he was rather curt and dismissive towards you initially. This behavior probably led you to try and avoid him, whether it was done shyly or with a more vocal pushback against his actions.

Regardless, stand attacks were the catalyst of you realizing he actually cares for you. More specifically, during the fight against Steely Dan. It didn’t matter to him that Joseph’s life was on the line, if the bastard so much as got to close, you were having to hold Jotaro back from becoming violent.

Comforting you while dealing with mental or emotional hurtles is something he approaches far more awkwardly.

When you first began going out, he would grow silent and sit next to you as you let out your emotions. He’s always been a good listener, certainly, but that was pretty much it.

As he matures, he’ll find the- although limited -right words to say. Not only that, but if you want to cling to him, feel free to do so.

If you’re going through a panic attack, his response depends on the situation. If it’s during/because of a battle, he leaves comforting you to someone else while he dives head-first into the fight.

If it’s not during such a dire situation, he will pull you close (unless it’s already been made clear that will only heighten your distress).

Jotaro will encourage you to meet his gaze, and follow his deep breaths as best you can. He will always be calm, and prioritizes you relaxing before discussing the source of your panic attack after the fact.

(D)ance - Does he like to dance with you? How good of a dancer is he?

No way in hell.

It won’t matter how many times you, whine, beg, or bargain. The most you’ll ever get from him is the tapping of his foot or gentle nod of his head in the car.

Try not to take it personally!

In general, Jotaro just doesn’t dance. It’s not for him. He doesn’t even know if he’s got naturally good rhythm (he doesn’t) because he just… never does it.

The first time you ever danced with him is on your wedding day.

Marrying the love of your life in of itself is enough to make your heart swell. But the fact that he danced with you, in front of friends and family no less, made the ceremony magical. And his steady movements, as well as how tenderly he held you to him, took your breath away.

The fact that he asked his mother to show him how to slow dance, practicing for weeks beforehand, is something he’s taking to the grave.

(E)xcitement - How does he act when he’s excited? What excites him?

The world must’ve stopped turning; the sun is falling down from the sky. Pigs are outside flying through the air as if they’ve been doing so for centuries.

Jotaro Kujo’s smiling unprompted.

No, seriously, you can tell he’s anticipating something when the tiniest of smiles plays on his lips for no immediate reason. Generally, he also seems less annoyed at the world when he’s feeling excited.

Those are good enough indicators on their own, but there’s also the fact that he talked your ear off about whatever it is he’s looking forward to the night prior.

“Talked your ear off,” by the way, translates to mumbling out no more than four sentences on the matter.

If you were anyone else, they likely wouldn’t notice a difference. But you do, knowing Jotaro better than he knows himself at times.

Achievements and advancements within his career is what often excites him as an adult. A rare visit from an old-friend such as Polnareff is also bound to put him in a good mood. And finally returning home from a long trip away is bound to make his eyes shine.

When he was still a young delinquent, these reactions were policed to the point where he hardly expressed such things in front of you. But after mellowing out, it’s heartwarming to see more genuine displays of his emotions.

(F)uture - What are his plans for the future? Does he see himself getting married, having kids?

Before you, even getting into a romantic relationship wasn’t on his mind at all.

So it’s more likely that you’re the first to bring things up like marriage or children, then he’ll begin to seriously consider it. If he realizes his wants and needs for the future on his own, you’re still what’s going to be on his mind front and center.

For him, his mind is focused on one thing at a time.

After marrying, he’ll one day think to himself, Huh, usually the next step is having kids. Then he’ll contemplate it, wondering if that’s what he wants.

Jotaro’s the type of individual that never saw such a thing for himself out of youthful disinterest.

But as he grew up and found his relationship with you to be the most important thing in his life, he discovered he truly does wish to have a nuclear family.

It scares him a little, even with your ability as a stand user.

He knows all too well that there are plenty of people that want his head for the conflict in Egypt. It’s something you both have invested a lot of time in investigating side-by-side.

But at the end of the day, his trust in you and knowledge that you’re more powerful as a unit that eventually pushes those worries out of the picture.

And ultimately, what’s important to you becomes important to him. So, although he certainly comes to envision settling down and having a family with you, how you feel on the matter is the final word in his eyes.

(G)ifts - What does he give you as presents? How often does he give gifts?

Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day and anniversaries is pretty much the only time he gives gifts.

Despite not doing it often, he’s attentive enough and knows you to the point where he’s become quite good at it. He’s not afraid to spend a generous amount of money on you either.

And what his gifts lack in frequency, he certainly makes up for in memory.

Jotaro Kujo never forgets a date. The thought of reminding him doesn’t ever pass through your brain because he’s so consistent with it.

He smartly plans ahead on top of that. Meaning, even if he orders you a gift to be delivered to the house, it will always arrive on time. And if it doesn’t, it’s never on him that it didn’t.

(H)old - How does he hold you? Cuddling, sleeping, holding hands…

Holding hands has long been his preferred (and only) form of PDA.

Especially when you were younger and still dating, it was a statement to everyone around you. That yes, you’re both taken and happy to be together.

By the time you both mature into the relationship, it’s already an established habit. Now, he simply does it because he loves you and is happily aquatinted with your fingers intertwined with his.

Yes, part of him still wants everyone to know. But he cares a lot less about his reputation at this point in his life.

When cuddling, he mainly likes holding you close to him rather than it being the other way around. Having your head rest on his chest provides him a sense of comfort that’s irreplaceable.

That said, there are times when he’d like to lean on you or plant his head in your lap. It’s usually after a long, stressful day that he’ll seek out such a thing.

After dinner is usually time for you both to curl up, snuggled together in front of the TV. During the weekend, when neither of you are busy, you’ll find yourselves clinging to each other during the afternoon as well.

He doesn’t much care for cuddling you in bed, though. Jotaro likes to stretch out in his sleep and not be locked into on position the whole night.

“I cuddled with you all day, why would you need me to do it now when I’m trying to sleep?”

Although, if you’ve had a particularly rough day or if you haven’t seen one another for a while, he’ll bring you into his arms at night. Bending his legs forward, he’ll tangle them with yours as he spoons you.

(I)deal - What’s his ideal date like?

Heh, any date with you is ideal, babyboy/babygirl.

Jokes aside, he really doesn’t give a shit.

Planning dates with him may make you want to pull your hair out. He doesn’t care- whatever you want to do works for him.

You want to go out to eat? Fine with him, he’s getting hungry anyways. Want to go watch a movie? No problem; he’ll even pay for your ticket. Or would you rather stay in, curl up together in bed reading beside one another? Perfect, as long as he’s sitting close.

Jotaro doesn’t really understand why you may grow sick of always having to pick, and you’ll likely have to explain it to him.

Whenever he does make plans, it’s almost always something you’ve done together before and therefore is confident you’ll enjoy yourself.

His one no-go for a date is going to an amusement park.

Everything is way overpriced, the lines are too long, and the obnoxious kids littered around the place will set back his desire to have children for years.

(J)ealousy - Does he get jealous easily? How does he handle it?

When you were dating- absolutely.

Not only was he a little more insecure about the future of your relationship, but he also felt the need to keep up his tough-guy persona.

It has always been extremely rare for him to get violent due to jealousy, though.

Instead, he grew dangerously quiet and wrapped an arm around your shoulders protectively.

That said, he wasn’t ever opposed to getting violent. If it ever got to the point where someone was explicitly hitting on you in front of him, one glance at the uncomfortable look on your face, and he’s not afraid to start throwing around vague threats.

In adulthood, and once married, he feels less inclined to posture.

If someone’s hitting on you, he’s more likely to approach the situation calmly and make a point to introduce himself as your husband.

Having a naturally intimidating face doesn’t often lead to others pushing it.

And when he gets jealous in later years, he’s simply going to wait patiently until you get home. Not exactly grow silent like he used to, but shoot you knowing glances instead.

He waits until your both home before doing anything outright. That’s when he’ll grab your hand and lead you to the bedroom. Of course, he knows by now that you love him, but a night of reminding you how much you mean to him certainly doesn’t hurt…

(K)isses - How does he like to kiss you? How often does he kiss you?

For the first month into the relationship, he’d settle for merely kissing you on the cheek.

He’d plant one there, quickly moving away in order to tug the brim of his hat down and cover his face.

You’re likely the one to have instigated the first kiss with him. He didn’t know how to approach; didn’t know how to ask.

After that threshold was broken, he easily prefers on-the-mouth kisses.

Jotaro will still give you kisses on the cheek from time to time, especially in front of family or friends as to not push it PDA wise.

But he’ll likely give you a kiss on the mouth, even if brief, at least once a day. It’s usually after he or you arrive home from work, greeting you with the affectionate action.

Or he’ll give you a quick kiss goodnight before the both of you settle into bed.

Plus, he’s naturally always been a pretty good kisser. Talented bastard.

(L)ove - How does he show you he loves you?

By being a constant presence in your life.

“I’m here, aren’t I? Of course I love you,” he tells you, as if it’s a no-brainer.

He won’t say it out loud, but it’s not just the fact that he’s there, it’s how. Jotaro is very much a show rather than tell type of man.

Acts of service is the primary love language he expresses.

He does your laundry for you unprompted, and in fact, takes care of a lot of the household duties without you needing to ask. He knows you very well, and thus takes care of tasks you know you’ll appreciate not having to do.

He doesn’t make a point of it either. Jotaro rarely boasts about doing such things, and often you’re left to find out on your own.

His deep trust in you is also a way you know he loves you.

With knowing one another for as long as you have, the bond is impossibly strong. Jotaro doesn’t think twice before informing you about his struggles, big or small. Not because he expects you to solve all his problems, but because he values transparency.

(M)elt - What do you do that absolutely makes him melt?

When you respond to his emotions without him needing to say a word, Jotaro’s heart warms.

This once again ties in with how well you know each other.

You’re so good at reading him that he sometimes tricks himself into thinking you may be able to read his mind.

He mentioned it once offhandedly, not even meaning to say it out loud. You’re lighthearted reaction was a little embarrassing for him, but it’s a cherished memory for you.

Not only that, but the fact that you get along seamlessly with his mother honestly brings him a sense of joy he cannot describe.

The only thing he can to think to say on the matter is that family’s important to him. The implication of the statement is implied: You being able to get along with his mother and extended family as well has him melting on the spot.

Bonus points if you’re good with kids too. Namely because Jotaro… is not.

(N)icknames - What does he call you, and what does he like being called?

Not really one for giving pet names, he simply calls you by your name or a preferred nickname.

On rare occasions, when he’s feeling particularly teasing or playful, he’ll call you ‘honey.’ Those moments are few and far between, though.

Other than that, it’s usually just your name he sticks with.

After growing up, and especially after receiving his degree, not many people still refer to him as JoJo. He doesn’t think much of the transition, but he does like it if you still call him JoJo from time to time.

It reminds him of your longtime bond; the nostalgic foundation of friendship you share.

If you like using pet names for him, he’ll roll his eyes and pretend as if he doesn’t like it. That said, he greatly appreciates it if you refer to him by name in front of others or in a serious situation.

(O)bvious - How obvious does he make it that he likes you?

When he was simply harboring a crush on you, it was not at all obvious.

Back during the trip to Egypt, Jotaro’s developing crush went unnoticed. Not even his own grandfather could tell. Hell, Jotaro himself couldn’t even really recognize it at first. It went unnoticed by everyone.

Well, everyone except Kakyoin.

It puts a strain on Jotaro’s heart, remembering it was Kakyoin that first noticed his feelings for you.

The redhead was very respectful about it, but still felt the need to stick his nose in Jotaro’s business in private. Despite him denying the crush up and down, Kakyoin’s encouragement still got to him a bit in the end.

During rough nights, where the past is painfully kept in the front of his mind, Jotaro wonders if him becoming just a little more obvious with his affection for you is done in part as some sort of way to prove himself to his departed friend.

(P)ets - Does he have pets? Does he want them?

Jotaro is so the definition of someone who swears up and down he doesn’t want a pet, yet ultimately ends up loving one unconditionally.

If you want one, he’ll dig his heels into the dirt for months. He’s too busy, you’re too busy… all prepackaged excuses for why it wouldn’t be a good idea.

But you eventually convince him to get one, the stoic man finally relenting with a long sigh.

He prefers dogs over any other kind of pet, so if that’s what you want, it’ll be slightly easier to convince him.

Without ever even trying to do so, it’s him who becomes the pet’s favorite.

The closeness is what leads him to giving in and only admitting to himself that he likes the pet. He’ll never admit it to you (as if you can’t tell); far too stubborn for his own good.

Jotaro has a one-pet-at-a-time policy, though. That’s nonnegotiable.

(Q)uiet - How are the calm, quiet moments with him?

To be honest, it’s a staple of your relationship.

Jotaro finally considered it love once fully wrapping his head around the fact that neither of you felt the need to always be making conversation with one another.

Comfortable silence is cherished by him. Whether you’ve always been the same, or come to have understood that with time, the fact that you’ve come to embrace that aspect of his personality led him to opening himself up to you more during conversations.

Quieter moments occur a lot during the weekend, when there’s no work and only relaxing. You also just enjoy each other’s company without much talking when getting ready for bed.

Sometimes, he doesn’t even say goodnight to you.

Instead, he gently tugs a few strands of hair from your face and cups your jaw momentarily. A gentle glimmer within his pupils reveal much more than any words could express.

The quietness and tranquility present in a lot of the time you spend together is part of his assessment in realizing you were the one.

(R)omance - How romantic is he? What is his go-to ways of being romantic?

…Romantic? Jotaro…?

He’s really responsive to your preferences in romance. Well, depending on how you present them.

He’s no mind-reader and not exactly the best at observing others. Remember the Yellow Temperance arc? Yeah… he’s not exactly a detective. If you want him to take a different approach in how romantic he is, subtly nudging him in the right direction isn’t going to work.

Instead, telling him directly what it is you like is much easier for him to wrap his head around. Jotaro never takes such comments personally, seeing as being upfront is preferable for him.

A year or two into the relationship, and he’s much better acquainted with what you like best.

Confident he understands you well, it naturally brings out a more romantic side of him. He’s only deeply observant with those closest to him (think Holly), so once you both reach that point, it brings out a surprisingly sweeter side of him.

(S)afe - What makes him feel safe and comfortable around you?

Once again, it’s got a lot to do with your history together.

Jotaro knows he can rely on you. He’s been keenly aware of your reliability since the late 80s.

Safety for Jotaro means tranquility, and a deep sense of comfort- along with a familiar environment. You provide him these warm feelings; seemingly just by your very presence.

When the two of you are at home together, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, he’s perfectly content. Simply glancing in your direction grounds him, and can calm buried anxieties.

That’s all he really needs to feel safe: You.

Visiting Morioh turns out to be a far more long and arduous task than either of you originally expected. But with you at his side, Jotaro rarely felt himself getting too worked up.

Spending late nights together at the hotel was all he needed to reset his brain, able to start the next day without much complaint over spending his time with unruly teenagers.

(T)end - How does he act when you’re hurt/sick, and vise versa?

If anyone hurts you, they may as well count their days. It doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re assertive all on your own; Jotaro’s going to have something (at the very least) to say.

Hell, knowing him, if someone’s troubling you all he usually has to do is look in their general direction. His entire demeanor gives off the impression of “Don’t fuck with me” and he’s all for standing up for you.

Even during the trip to Egypt, he seemed much looser with his grip on his temper when you were put into the line of fire.

If you’re sick, Jotaro’s surprisingly doting.

He’s extremely adamant that you stay home and rest up. Any reason you may have to get out of bed he’ll take care of himself without question.

If he can’t be there to take care of you (likely due to work), he’ll call once or twice while he’s gone just to check in on how you’re doing.

It’s quite ironic, considering how he acts when hurt or sick.

“I’m not sick,” he’ll insist in a scratchy voice, despite a reddened face and clearly runny nose.

“I’m fine.” Yeah, sure, Jotaro. Never mind the deep gash actively gushing blood all over his left arm.

Attempts to take care of him in anyway will be met with pushback, no matter how old he gets.

One reminder of how much he babies you when you’re feeling unwell is all it usually takes for him to begrudgingly accept your offer to help.

He’ll be silent throughout, but his refusal to look you in the eye is a dead giveaway that he secretly likes being taken care of every now and then.

(U)nique - What’s an unusual thing about him that’s oddly charming?

“JoJo… do you need something?”

“No.”

“Then why’re you staring at me?”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve been looking at me for the past ten minutes!”

(V)ariety - Does he prefer to keep the same routine, or spice things up?

Jotaro is a creature of habit.

He certainly likes to keep a usual routine. Having a familiar structure makes him feel comfortable and as though his life is maintaining stability.

Too many surprises or shocking events happening at once is at best annoying for him, and downright unnerving at worst.

He is a little conscious of this aspect of himself; part of him worries you may grow board of him.

That worry is unfounded, though. Especially considering something new or a shake up to the usual routine is accepted by him if you’re the one to do so. He’s so naturally considerate that he doesn’t even think of that being a factor.

Luckily for the both of you, it’s not difficult for you to ease his worries.

(W)ild Card - A random fluff headcanon

Jotaro’s a big fan of manga and usually invests his free time in catching up on his favorite series’s anime incarnations.

He’s been reading Shonen since he was young, and that interest carries over into his adult years.

Jotaro will certainly sit you down and make ask you to watch his some of his favorite anime with him. Saturday afternoons is his favorite time to curl up next to you on the couch and watch for a few hours.

Definitely the type to always sneak peaks at your reactions out of the corner of his eye. He hardly is the type to speak during a show or movie, but is glad to discuss with you after the fact. Please, discuss with him after the fact.

If you’re also into manga and anime before meeting him, he’s internally overjoyed. However, he is a bit critical.

Not to the point of being rude, but certainly dismissive of it at first if your tastes don’t exactly align with his. Jotaro has taste, and is quite proud of his selections. It may come off as a bit elitist… because it is.

He loosens up with time, and may even give some of your favorites a chance. He will never admit out loud to actually liking them, even after you catch him intently watching an anime of your suggestion on his own.

(X)OXO - Is he affectionate in public? How much PDA does he show?

Despite not being too outwardly affectionate or into PDA, everyone close to him can easily tell you’re together once a relationship is formed.

Joseph cheekily goes on and on about how he “totally saw this coming” (no he didn’t). Polnareff is patting the both of you on the back with a big, goofy grin (his world is crashing around him).

When the Duwang gang first met you, the teens of the group were going mental upon the realization that… holy shit… he’s married… !?

The group’s bewilderment was mostly kept to internal struggles due to both Jotaro’s harsh expression at any question relating to how on earth he managed to marry such a lovely individual.

Josuke specifically thought he was going to have a stroke. Unlike the others, he’s much more prone to speaking his mind even after the implicit warning.

After getting over his initial shock, he’ll berate his nephew for not previously telling him about his partner.

(Y)earning - How does he cope when he’s missing you?

It takes everything in him not to call you.

He holds out the first day of you being gone. It’s no trouble that he’s cooking without your presence, not at all. Ignoring the fact that he’s eating dinner without you cheerily filling him in on your day is no problem. Getting ready for bed alone is no big deal.

Yeah… definitely.

Jotaro will lay himself down in bed, facing your usually taken up side. He’ll find his hand reaching out m at the empty space, fingers curling around the sheets. A frown finds its way onto his tired face.

He’s calling you the next day. And after finally caving, he’s sure to give you a call each day or every other day after that.

Past events has made him wary of being separated from you for too long. And even though he logically knows he’s fussing over nothing, he still cannot help but cave to the small worry growing in the back of his mind.

That said, it isn’t too difficult for him to distract himself from missing you.

But being alone during moments that he’d usually share with you is enough to remind him of your absence.

(Z)eal - Is he willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, he will undoubtedly go to great lengths for you.

One could argue that, having been a part of the Crusaders yourself, an aspect of his actions against DIO were also influenced by a desire to avenge you as well as the others.

Jotaro isn’t above getting violent in your behalf, and would certainly jump through several hoops as long as your safe.

Part of this is because there’s an unspoken mutual understanding that you’d do the same for him (and you certainly have).

But more than that, Jotaro has a small circle of individuals that he would likely do just about anything for. And after everything the both of you have been through together, you’re at the top of that list.

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sugar-grigri · 8 months

Note

I was wondering what you think the likelihood is of an actual canon Asa/Denji romantic relationship is? I mean obviously they're building that Asa has feelings for csm/Denji (separately) and Denji has shown passing interest as well. I wonder if it's feasible at all or are they going to be pitched against one another now that Asa's getting seen more in the public eye while Denji is forcibly pushed aside.

Love your blog and enjoy reading your analyzes of the chapters/characters/plot!

Denji and Asa will have a romantic relationship

I'm sorry to answer so late (almost 2 months later) and without justifying my delay, I think it's the right time in view of the last chapters to answer !!! I think Asa and Denji will have a romantic relationship. Before explaining my arguments, I would ask that we all put our personal preferences aside. I'm only interested in Denji and Asa's writing and story arcs. Now that that's been cleared up, let's get down to business.

First of all, I'd like to reiterate a few points about Denji's development and objectives.

In part 1, Denji understood what it meant to be loved properly, the different facets of love, how to protect and pamper a family, just as his response to the antagonist was driven by his love for Makima. It's important not to deny that Denji has become attached to Makima, and the paradoxical aspect of this affection is what made the end of Part 1 so brilliant and memorable.

Firstly, it confirmed that CSM's main theme from the outset was love, and secondly, it proved that Denji's response was extremely sensitive and mature. Instead of locking himself into a cycle of revenge and hatred, he forgave.

But above all from a narrative point of view it's interesting because in the first part, Denji grasped his value as a human being, knew what it was like to be considered and loved by Power and Aki. I've always seen Part 2 as a response to Part 1.

After the character has grasped that he can be loved, Part 2 places within it, consecrating it as the pivotal protagonist: Denji's beloved, Asa Mitaka. Instead of simply mystifying the love interest as a deuteragonist, as many works do, and depriving us of her point of view, Fujimoto places her with equal narrative importance. Which makes sense, since love is a central theme, Denji's love couldn't take a back seat.

All this to say that the very fact that Asa is also the protagonist puts us on the right track. But there's nothing to stop it all being a trap? Just as there's nothing to stop the relationship between the two protagonists opening up to a lovely friendship, is there? From a personal point of view, I'd have found it interesting if Denji had struck up another platonic friendship with a girl, with no undertones.

But that's not what Fujimoto has in mind...

Asa and Denji are written to complement each other. And when I say complementarity, I make it clear that the writing doesn't imply that a relationship between the two of them would solve their internal problems. Their flaws are put to the test by the external scenario.

For example, Asa's lack of trust in others is underlined in her development compared to other characters such as Yuko and Yoshida.

Yuko and Asa had a sincere friendship, although this drifted into moral combat as the young girl wanted to be as beneficial and useful as Chainsaw Man. As for Yoshida, he torments Asa, playing the game of promiscuity in order to create distance between the two of them, motivated as he is by Chainsaw Man. But his aim is not to become like him, but to prevent him from acting to the full.

Whether it's to inhibit Chainsaw Man or to become like him, Chainsaw Man has occupied a place in Asa's relationships with the others. But again, this only serves to underline the extent to which the destinies of the two protagonists are intertwined. Instead of hating Chainsaw Man even more for disrupting her relationships, Asa Mitaka unknowingly experienced his profound kindness.

During the aquarium arc, Denji simply occupied a special place regarding this issue. While the young girl mortified herself about being a good-for-nothing, a loser like Denji, it was he who paradoxically helped her. Firstly, because he'd listened to her explanations, boring though they were, about starfish and the fact that they're edible. What's more, Fami can control those she would have starved, so subconsciously the fact that Denji offered her food saved Asa.

But this is implicit writing, as it doesn't make sense until well afterwards, when Fujimoto spells out the conditions of the famine demon's power. When we read the aquarium arc, the one who finds the solution is Asa. Denji was merely a springboard.

This episode is central because Fujimoto, in developing the relationship between Denji and Asa, also clarifies the way in which he will write it: one will not overshadow the other, and he has not placed Asa as the protagonist so that she is not a pivotal point in the scenario.

But before this good experience, Asa only sees Denji's little flaws, the fact that he's a fan of Chainsaw Man, that he rips off homeless people and even goes so far as to dehumanize him, considering him somewhere between a cat and a criminal. Instead of idealizing Asa as Denji's great savior, she is first presented as a threat to the boy. But this chapter only confirms the future romantic (and tragic) aspect of their relationship.

I'm putting my theory back on the cat, because it's this symbol that heralds a perhaps not-so-pretty ending between the two of them. Fujimoto takes on the characteristics of a Greek tragedy, with a game of identities, intertwined secrets and a series of misunderstandings, with two camps, characters also preventing their relationship (Nayuta and Yoshida). But above all, it's tragic: Denji is somewhere between a cat and a criminal, just as Asa lost her mother while trying to save a cat, just as the first being Denji saves in Part 2 is a cat.

The cat is a figure that links Denji and Asa (the fact that they both saved one, that it is linked to their family (Power and Asa's mother), the metaphor of cat and criminal being what characterizes someone as morally gray as the two of them TO SUM UP their relationship will end in sacrifice. The ultimate proof of love. Isn't it wonderful to have a boy as the protagonist who pursues love, only to die for it? The reverse is just as beautiful: a young girl who closes herself off in solitude finds self-fulfillment in dying for the sake of another.

But back to something happier: Asa is the only one who has a healthy love (or rather, attachment) to Denji. Firstly, because she first faced Denji's and Chainsaw Man's flaws before seeing their good sides.

First, she doesn't project anything onto the boy, and sees him exactly as he is. She experienced his obscenities, his interest in sex that repels her. This was something I'd considered a flaw until now, to be honest; I was afraid that if the two protagonists ended up experiencing intimacy together, it would "save" Asa from her rejection of sex. But I was reassured by Fumiko's development, which parallels that. Fumiko has an unhealthy interest in Denji and is constantly contradictory in her dealings with him.

As I said, chapter 142 sets up a fairly simple idea: no one respects Denji's limits, above all, no one sees him as the teenager, the child he is. With Chainsaw Man, the same thing happens: people, faced with their powerlessness against the demons, project their grief and frustrations onto the machine man, to the point of pushing him to live again and again to kill his loved one, his big brother.

No one hears Chainsaw Man's cries for help

Asa stands out from all this: first, she's the one who wants to save Chainsaw Man

Fumiko already had an idealized image of Denji before she met him, has an ascendancy over age, a manipulative strategy, but beyond these problematic issues she respects no limits, thinks Denji's sexual desires, which do exist (let's not deny it), are watchwords.

She, who considers him a child, doesn't act at all in the spirit of protection that she acclaims.

Asa has the opposite reaction, but purely the opposite. When she meets Denji, she's not at all interested, even distressed. She'll have exactly the same reaction to Chainsaw Man. She doesn't like him, so she has nothing to project onto him. And even her first reaction to him was far from idyllic.

Fumiko's presence is also intended to underline the way she and Asa differ in the way they deal with Denji's limitations.

Asa respects Denji's limits, or rather those he has set as rules dictated by his little sister. But Yoru crosses a boundary by kissing him. Without the desire to justify a non-consensual act, what Yoru is doing is crossing a boundary not set by Denji but by Nayuta, who is trapping her older brother in a certain solitude by wanting to protect him. The control devil is obsessed with a happiness that can only be found in the number of two, which is the common trait that links Makima and Nayuta, although they are not exactly the same entity. The first kiss between Yoru and Denji is then an act of rebellion, rather than Fumiko's constant overstepping of boundaries.

(Again, these are two non-consensual acts, and I'm not justifying them, but they don't have the same narrative function).

But above all, the limits set by Nayuta have another meaning - they're there to consolidate the fact that Denji and Asa's relationship is a romantic tragedy inspired by the ancients, as Shakespiere was. The breaking of rules is a major theme in Romeo and Juliet, especially in the case of Juliet, who must choose between morals and her love, her family destining her for another marriage (symbolized by Nayuta).

But we'll come back to the symbolism of Romeo and Juliet in a moment...

Asa has met the purest version of Denji - whether it's Denji revealing his identity, or his profound kindness at the aquarium - and she's also witnessed the flaws of Chainsaw Man, this perverse monster, not good with words, who not only tried to reassure her, but actively protected her.

In other words, when we see her disturbed by her growing feelings for both Denji and Chainsaw Man, they are more than sincere, for she has seen them both as they were. But above all, she is the first character to love both sides of Denji's identity. Whereas Makima was obsessed with Chainsaw Man or Reze focused on Denji's weaknesses, Asa became attached to both the human and the demon.

Denji's dual identity is central, with the public hunters trying to annihilate Denji's demonic identity while the church relies on it, confusing the boy into having to choose one or the other, while the one who intends to help him unknowingly loves both sides. She likes him doubly. Asa is proof that Denji has to claim his two identities.

Not only is the girl also two, harboring a demon within her just as Denji has fused with a demon, but the way their demons are linked to each other and have a history between them only reinforces the destiny that binds them.

Asa is someone who intellectualizes her emotions to the extreme, so her love is more cerebral than Denji's, who thinks primarily through his senses, having a more instinctive love. Yoru occupies half of Asa's brain, while Pochita replaces Denji's heart, totally in line with this symbolism.

Above all, Yoru is disturbed by Asa's budding feelings, which also affect her. We've seen that Yoru hasn't succeeded in transforming Denji. We all stopped to think that she couldn't transform a hybrid, a demon. Yoru is a knight of the apocalypse and has a natural ascendancy over other demons, just as Fami had the falling devil under her control and Makima had controlled many demons. No, the reason why Yoru can't transform Denji is twofold: she's disturbed by Asa's feelings, which are also her own, and doesn't have the will to make him her weapon; but above all, they're not yet together, and the feeling of belonging to each other hasn't yet been established. It's not certain that Denji will ever become Yoru's weapon, since as soon as their relationship is established, he will symbolically offer her his heart.

In the current arc, Fujimoto places Asa in Denji's initial situation, so as to better parallel them: she becomes the church's new flagship image, her popularity competing directly with Chainsaw Man's. But while the current arc shows us the downside of these parasocial relationships, with Denji completely paralyzed by his existential crises, Asa experiences the opposite.

She who has always felt isolated is finally beginning to be appreciated and loved by the majority. In short, one begins to learn something that the other is just experimenting with. Denji and Asa are two very isolated teenagers who project themselves into the recognition their audience has in them.

What's certain is that Denji's existential crisis doesn't just concern him, insofar as his experiences can serve as a lesson to Asa, that to become a hero is above all to be alone. The church intends to sacrifice innocent people to spur Chainsaw Man into action, a church that Asa now represents. Asa hasn't yet seen this side of the church, so Barem mocks her by presenting her as a naive young girl. However, Asa has the intuition that tragedy will strike, since she has a nightmare of it.

Asa's going to have to go beyond her moral limits, to take the brunt of her own popularity, and even if she intends to save Chainsaw Man as he saved her, I think it's he who's going to help her more, not to eclipse her but as a springboard to push the heroine to save herself.

Denji's development isn't slow, flat, in this arc, it just reaches its conclusion. What's left for him to do to end it all is to prove his love.

Even if it means dying for it.

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buckybarnesss · 9 months

Note

the fact that derek was so earnest and steadfast in his devotion that the sheriff fucking notices, i just -

the women of beacon hills don't flirt with derek too hard because they think he's a fucking widower. they see how he dotes on the jeep and his son, and they're like "bless his heart, he's so loyal. yes, he doesn't wear his wedding ring anymore, but that love burns in him still"

i want to chew on the walls, oh my goddd

derek being written like a widower is such a big brain take. no wonder the sheriff recognized the energy, you know.

the way jeff wrote around stiles not being in the movie was absolutely insane because there's a cloud over it as if stiles really died even if he didn't.

however -- stiles's presence is still there and not just because he was so essential to the nogitsune plot it's weird without him but because the jeep is iconic and it's so associated with stiles it might as well be a representation of his soul.

his attachment to it was a plot point multiple times and it's state was used to depict the state of his relationships.

he gave it initially to scott but eventually it made it's way to derek when it wasn't running anymore and derek rebuilt it. he's kept it up. he's keeping it safe.

also knowing how much of an investment of both money and time into rebuilding the jeep is a testament itself to derek's dedication. it's a love letter on it's own.

and jeff wrote derek becoming a professional mechanic and having his own shop to justify it.

how does all of this all of these things not read as pining? as derek keeping a memento? it's terribly sentimental. throughout the show we saw how minimalist and spartan derek lived. he had no such mementos of his own family unless you count peter. yet he has one of stiles.

jeff broke up stiles and lydia over supposedly prophetic dreams and than pulls this??? it reads as one hundred percent as a romantic gesture. jeff davis legitimately wrote this and wrote eli as being very similar to stiles. jeff what are you doing?

even eli is picking up on the vibes as he takes the jeep to try to get derek's attention because he knows there's something about it.

and than when you put this up against what we have been shown of stiles's feelings in the show proper ---

the staring at the D.H initials alone was unhinged but everything else and i just ---

stiles and derek are in love and jeff wrote this on accident. teen wolf's queerbait queered so hard that it became canon.

#my blog #teen wolf #thoughts on teen wolf #sterek #otp: you need me to survive

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legacygirlingreen · 1 year

Text

Becoming a Proper Gentleman // Sebastian Sallow x Reader // Invisible String pt I

Warnings: mild mentions of abuse/childhood trauma!

Summary:

What happens when she finally gets to meet Sebastian’s family? Why is Sebastian all of a sudden interested in being a proper gentleman? What trauma from his past keeps him attached to those unruly brown locks? When she is able to possibly spend the holidays with the Sallows, what price is Sebastian willing to pay?

Notes:

This diverts from Canon as an alternate look at Sebastian and you/your main character’s first meeting with his family. It focuses less on elements of the game, but briefly mentions them, and instead leads to just fluffy moments. Also note this fic deals more with proper Victorian style rules surrounding romance/courting/being proper. It’s all written in 3rd POV for the most part, switching back and forth from more of your perspective and his through 3rd perspective. VERY LITTLE USAGE OF Y/N

Word Count: 17,000 +

Masterlist for series here

If you can, I would like you to accompany me to Feldcroft when I visit home soon. I know I mentioned it briefly last week so it is somewhat short notice, but Ann is dying to meet you in person, and I’m really hoping it will lift her spirit. There’s so much I would love to share with you about where I grew up. If you decide to join me, meet me by the lookout tower near the Floo Flame in Feldcroft tomorrow after dawn. ~ S

She delicately played with the edges of the parchment delivered by the sleek black barn owl moments before. Over the past few months her and Sebastian’s pet owl had become more than acquainted. She had begun carrying around extra treats in her pocket daily in anticipation of a visit from his owl, Theodore, nicknamed Teddy for short. Given the frequency of their communication outside the classroom, she had grown fond of the bird, beginning to suspect he was also taking a liking to her as well judging by the way he had started nuzzling her hand when she moved to pet him.

Sebastian had mentioned a few days before possibly having her join him in Feldcroft when he went to visit Ann. The invitation to others may have seemed a tad forward, but the pair had grown close since the moment they met in the Slytherin common room by the fire. In fact, after talking Ann’s ear off on his first weekend home about the new student after the start of 5th year, she had wondered how long it would take to finally meet his new classmate. While the girl never pressed, knowing how ill Ann had fallen, she couldn’t say she too wasn’t excited at the prospect of meeting his sister. The only problem now was figuring out how to make the best first impression possible…

She often worried what would happen should his twin not take to her as much as he had. The twins were very close. It was no surprise that after months of cheeky quips, sneaking into the restricted section of the library, almost dying on several occasions and countless hours alone in the Undercroft together that she had begun to harbor feelings for the boy. She couldn’t help but admire the little details about him. From the way his Adam’s Apple bobbed with each word he spoke, to the mischievous glint in eyes. When he laughed, the sound would always below out from deep in the pits of his stomach, allowing the sweet melody to sing in the air. The way his mouth would shift ever so subtly to the right and a single eyebrow would raise at the mention of something lewd or interesting. The freckles that dotted his entire body, not just his face, in a pattern that was more beautiful than the constellations in the night sky she observed at the astronomy tables. How his eyes would appear as rich chocolate pools with seemingly no end in the darkness of the undercroft yet shift into a lovely amber shade in the sunlight.

Something that had become a favorite pastime of hers - a brief indulgence in the scary world she’d been thrown into of magic, goblins and poachers - was the way he constantly seemed to unconsciously fret over his hair. The lovely and increasingly overgrown strands of brown were in a forever state of disheveled atop his head. Every time he became annoyed, bored, embarrassed, elated or even upset his fingers seemed to take to his hair. Maybe it was a nervous tick or necessity due to his current lack of styling, she thoroughly enjoyed learning about all the ways in which he disrupted his locks.

The girl could remembered the first time she truly noticed how much he moved his tanned and freckled digits through his hair. One late night in the undercroft, growing increasingly frustrated with yet another book from the restricted section providing little insight, he gave up and slammed its cover and startlingly her. She looked up from her own notes taken from the keepers journal and watched as his eyes formed their own version of an apology for scaring her. For someone who could easily take down trolls and spiders she sure was jumpy.

He let out a frustrated sigh, letting his head fall into his hands. She noticed how his nimble fingers stretch around and met at the back of his neck, playing with the small waves beginning to touch his collar from the months he’d been at school without a haircut. Come to think of it, she’d never actually seen him attempt to maintain his hair at all in the brief time she had known him. And in the time since September the brown tendrils of hair had seemingly begun to grow out of control. As quickly as she had become mesmerized watching him slowly weave his fingers in and out of his hair to calm himself, Sebastian lifted his head, eyes meeting hers. A single brown strand of hair fell onto his brow instead of its normal pattern of being pushed to the side. He went to speak but before he could get a word out her arm lifted towards his eyeline, shutting the boy up quickly. His eyes grew as she ever so carefully brushed the strand up and off his forehead to join the rest of his unruly locks. She briefly allowed herself the indulgence of feeling the soft hair she’d been slowly noticing for weeks under her fingers.

As if finally breaking the trance the second her hand was removed from his hair, she instantly looked down to her lap, cheeks growing redder by the second. If she had looked up she’d have noticed his freckled face was even more crimson than her own. Eventually the pair would have to acknowledge the brief act of intimacy displayed by the resident troll slayer, and while Sebastian tended to be the easier flirt of the pair, she found herself accepting she needed to break the silence first.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me” she muttered finally meeting his eyes.

He stared at her for a few seconds longer before chuckling. “No need to apologize, I guess I’m growing into more of a lacewing fly bush by the day.” He then grabbed a different lock of hair from around his left ear and pulled it away from his head, allowing the both of them to note how long his hair had become.

They both laughed at his comment and before she could respond he continued saying “usually Ann helps me trim it, but lately she hasn’t even been able to do her own, let alone mine”. A solemn look briefly flashed over his face, quickly replaced by a half smile.

“You know, last time I was home Ann playful made fun of how much I spoke of our newfound friendship. She did say she would love to meet you sometime if you would be interested”.

She pondered the weight of his words. He told his sister about me… somewhere between giving an answer and being lost in thoughts of Sebastian telling his sister about her, she felt her braid being lifted by the ends. Looking down she noticed Sebastian carefully running his fingers, the same ones constantly buried in his own brown tresses, toying with hers. If she was having difficulty speaking before, she was completely mute now. All she could do was close her eyes, feeling careful digits twirling the free strands at the end of the tie secured around her hair.

Sebastian careful laid the braid back along her shoulders and removed his hand from her hair, noticing how she sat there, more peaceful than he’d seen her in a while. Eyebrows relaxed, eyes closed, light smile on the corner of her lips and a slight blush dusted atop her cheeks. For the first time since he’d known her he wondered if maybe she returned the same affection he was slowly allowing himself to grow towards her.

“You don’t have to answer now. But I will send an owl when I decide to return home if you wish to join” he told her. She finally opened her eyes and looked back into his brown orbs. She simply nodded before the pair returned to attempting to find a cure for Ann.

That was almost a week ago and since then she had awaited this owl. However now holding it, that nervous feeling in y/n’s stomach grew. Her first thought was to go find Sebastian, however she quickly realized asking the boy you liked how to impress his family seemed a tad revealing. Opting for the next best thing, she wandered back to the Slytherin common room to find their mutually shared and informed companion.

“Ah y/n, Sebastian was looking for you earlier today before I told him it better to send you an owl” Ominis said before she got close to the boy. Damn his bat like hearing for always being able to recognize her shuffling feet before she got close.

“Yeah, Teddy found me not long ago. I actually came to ask you about that…” she found it difficult how to phrase her question to him. Confused Ominis tilted his head to the side and shifted on the couch he sat on, allowing her to join him. He thought that the new 5th year would be jumping at the chance to meet Ann, as his suspicions told him that the new girl liked his friend as much as his friend liked her. He raised a brow seemingly to ask what she needed. “Well you see I am really happy about finally getting to meet Sebastian’s sister, seeing as you both have become my friends, however I am wondering how I can best make an impression on her. I know Sebastian said their uncle can be quite brash and Ann is unwell, so I was seeing if you had any advice I could use when meeting them. I do not want them to think poorly of me…”

Ominis didn’t need to have vision to see the fear her face held. While they had initially gotten off on weird footing after Sebastian quickly shared his family’s secret place with her, Ominis changed his mind about the new student. She truly did seem kind towards every one of his classmates and definitely had stronger magical talent than most people in his year.

“Well… I’ve known Ann as long as I’ve known Sebastian. While I won’t be able to help you much with their Uncle, he rivals even some of the worst of my family at times, Ann truly is a playful spirit. Her and Sebastian are very alike, or we’re at least before she was cursed.” Ominis paused, remembering with fondness how his friend used to be verses the sickly girl he had come to know over their summer holiday.

“She has really taken to doing things with her hands since falling ill. She spends a lot of time now reading and drawing. She recently mentioned wanting to take up knitting perhaps as a way to pass the time.” Ominis recalled his goodbye with Ann where she mentioned slowly turning into a at home knitting grandmother. The comment stuck out in his brain.

“Ominis you’re a genius.” She responded finally sounding more relieved than when she first approached him.

“Of course, if you don’t mind, I would love to go into Hogsmeade and collect some stuff to send to her. You can be my owl as repayment for my genius” he said with a chuckle. She nodded lifting off the couch and offering out an arm for the boy the take. While he was able to traverse the school grounds with a wand, it was always easier when he had a guide. At first he mildly protested her arm, he now simply allowed it to slip into his own. The pair made off towards the floo flame and to the streets of Hogsmeade.

—————————————

After a successful trip to Hogsmeade where Ominis purchased a small amount of treats from Honeydukes for Ann, and she had found some beginner knitting needles and yarn, the pair returned back to the castle for a good nights rest. She woke up incredibly early that morning, choosing her favorite outfit from Gladrag’s. Her nerves had kept her up all night as she laid in bed continuously rereading over Sebastian’s Owl.

There’s so much I would love to share with you about where I grew up…

She pondered what exactly that had meant. She brushed it off, deciding it better to get as presentable as possible. After getting dressed in her best “I want to look good but not like I tried too hard” attire, she picked up her hairbrush, brushing out her y/h/c locks. She almost always kept it braided, however yesterday while walking through hogsmeade she was flagged down by Madam Snelling. The overtly honest woman, who took no time in reminding the girl she still was owed a favor for running an errand to collect supplies a few weeks back. After reminding her she could use the favor then, she mentioned she would simply cash it in another time as she had a quickly approaching curfew and a blind companion she was sure wouldn’t want to sit through a hair appointment. The woman did recommend she sometimes remove her y/h/c from the braids they were always in, as it would look “soft and delicate like a flower”.

Deciding maybe the stylist knew what she was speaking about, she opted for the first time since coming to hogwarts to leave her hair down. Shaking off her nerves, and collecting the gifts from Ominis and herself, she slowly crept towards the Slytherin common room. As she was about to make it down the last steps of the girls dorms she ran into one smirking Imelda Reyes, back from an early morning flying no doubt.

Her and the girl had gotten off on somewhat rocky footing, however after both discovered the love of broom flying and sharing close proximity as roommates, they had begun an unlikely friendship. Still, the Irish girl and her taunted each other relentlessly. Imelda let out a brief whistle at y/n’s leather trousers and tight blue velvet overcoat that left little to the imagination. “First Sallow comes out of the boys dorm having actually brushed that bush on his head for once and now you’re standing here with your hair down and wearing an outfit that says ‘please take me now’. Sometimes tells me that those might not be unrelated hmm?”

Her cheeks flush at Imelda’s comment. For someone who’s fallen off many brooms over the years she still is sharp as a tack. “So what if they are related?” She quips back at her fellow student who couldn’t be more accurate in her assessment. “Oh I am all for it trust me. Between your often… unique attire and messy braids and that boys unruly hair, which in my opinion should’ve been cut long ago, you two make quite the pair. Not to mention this pining between the both of you has got to stop. Even Grace “Smelly” Smedley has noticed and she’s not the brightest young witch of our year if you know what I mean”.

She blushed at her roommate’s understanding of the situation. She might have a point… before the girl could reply however, Imelda laughed and nodded off towards the Floo Flame. “You may wanna hurry, don’t wanna keep lover boy waiting do you?” Before heading down the hall towards the girls bathroom. She stood there flabbergasted before carefully treading up the stairs to the green flame. She stared into it’s bright color for a few months before taking a deep breath and tossing floo powder onto its center. Quickly the cold stones of the slytherin common room were replaced with the soft ground of Feldcroft. While she had flown over the quaint village recently on her broom, she hadn’t actually stopped to see what it looked like up close.

Rich colors spread in every direction. The sun hanging just barely over the horizon brought such a lovely golden hue to the earth. A slight breeze moved through the trees and she regretted not bringing a coat with her. Too late now she thought. Scanning around her she noticed several small stone cottages and some merchants carts. In the center of everything was a well. To the left of the flame stood a wooden lookout platform.

Now or never.

She pushed herself towards the small wooden structure. As she neared the bottom of the steps and brushed her pants with her sweat slicked palms. She then ran her hand over her y/h/c hair, brushing down what little bit had become ruffled by the flame and the breeze. When y/n finally rounded the last flight of stairs she saw Sebastian leaning over the railing looking out to the hillside, where a castle ruin sat, his back to her. He must have been lost in thought because he slightly jumped when she questioned “enjoying the view”.

Her voice came out in a slightly strangled with her nerves but as she spoke it slowly calmed down. She chuckled at his reaction. She crossed the platform to stand next to him as he turned around to face her. As his eyes finally landed on her they grew to the size of saucers. For once she actually noticed, a small surge of confidence flooding her veins.

Sebastian couldn’t decide what surprised him the most about her appearance. Her usually mismatched and unique wardrobe was toned down, but in the most elegant (and not leaving much to the imagination) way. The way the leather trousers sculpted her thighs would have him up at night for weeks to come. It wasn’t long before his eyes landed back on her face, and subsequently her hair. Where he had been expecting one of her many variety of braids, her locks splayed out freely along her shoulders. He almost choked at the sight of her standing in his village looking so beautiful in the morning light.

To be fair however, she was in a similar boat. Standing close to him she looked into his wide eyes, noticing their usual brown was replaced by the warm Amber she loved in the golden hour. His usual school uniform replaced with a simple white collared shirt and plain dark green vest left unbuttoned. Sebastian’s usual short trousers and high socks combo was replaced with a full length brown pant but his usual boots remained. She noticed he must have gotten warm, as the sleeves were rolled up to his forearms. Now standing here she saw what her roommate mentioned moments before about his attempt at tackling his unruly brown hair. While little was actually accomplished, she appreciated the effort of putting a tad bit of the gel - which she assumed he borrowed from Ominis - in his hair to keep it from it’s usual tousled state. She did however think I prefer his hair a tad more messy.

The awkward teens moment of gawking at each other finally drawing to a close as Sebastian muttered out a flirty “enjoying the view more now that you’re here”.

She playfully pushed him with an eye roll, however still felt the familiar warmth adorn her cheeks. “I’ve never been to Feldcroft, it’s quite lovely” she mentioned looking him instead of at the countryside.

He coughed realizing she may have been referring to him looking nice and not his quaint village before holding out an arm. Before he left the dorm that morning Ominis had given him the “be a proper gentleman for once” conversation before tossing Sebastian his hair gel and rolling back over to sleep in on his Saturday morning. She looked at the arm for a second before realizing he was offering his arm to be proper. The blush on her cheeks continued to deepen as she tucked her hand into his elbow. Once her hand found solace in the bend of his elbow, he rested his free hand atop of hers. Since when did Sebastian Sallow become a gentleman?

Standing this close she was able to note that the typical smell of old parchment and whatever soap he always smelled of was mixed with something new, something earthy. Sandalwood perhaps? She decided that she had blushed enough this morning and it would be his turn again when she found herself saying “you know Imelda said you actually put a comb through that hair of yours, but she didn’t mention you bathed for once”.

The girl knew Sebastian would recognize the joke was in reference to whatever fragrance he had dawned, as Ominis was quite vocal about how much time Sebastian spent in their dorm shower “preening and doing merlin knows what else in there”. She wasn’t expecting the awkward chuckle that followed, along with his other hand reaching up behind his neck to mess with the stray curls at his neckline.

“I see you also ran into Imelda on the way over. She give you the same shakedown I presume?” He asked her, curious if her roommate had been worse on her than Imelda had been on him. Realizing he had been tousling his hair he quickly removed the hand from his neck. He laid his free hand back on top of hers.

“Oh of course you know how she is. I got accused of wearing a ‘please take me now’ outfit, whatever that means” she said with a chuckle, her free hand brushing over the velvet vest right above where it flared out at her waist. The boy felt his hand betray him, as it ever so slightly squeezed hers and he replied “I think I know what she meant” in a lower tone than normal.

Her feet, finally having made it back on solid ground below the tower, halted and the pair stopped. Her heart in her stomach she took note of his suggestive comment made in a nervous tone. Her senses being overloaded by his warm arm wrapped around hers and hand holding her steady. The smell of what could only be cologne or aftershave becoming overpowering. After a beat of silence, she said “are you wearing cologne?”

“Yes. Ann got it for me a while back and I usually forget about it, but remembered it this morning” he said trying to sound casual but his tone giving away it was anything but. What she didn’t know was he did not receive it from Ann, and had purchased it in hogsmeade the day before trying to impress you.

“I like it” she said barely above a whisper. “I’m glad…” Sebastian responded before looking down at the girl with longing. His hand slowly reached for her loose waves and twisted a single strand around his finger. “Your hair looks pretty when it’s down” he found enough courage to say. All the words forming in her throat stalled. Sensing she was struggling to find the words he started walking again towards his home. “You know Ann may be a little disappointed though. I told her about how you always have these elaborate braids, since she’s never been able to properly learn despite years of trying.”

She reached up subconsciously and grabbed at a loose strand. Stupid Madam Snelling. Sebastian must have sensed her worry because he responded saying “oh don’t worry, she’s going to love you. Besides if mildly disappointing my sister means I get to see your hair wild and free so be it”. He smiled at her, hoping to calm what he could sense were growing nerves. She can fight poachers and rescue a dragon with Poppy but she seems terrified of upsetting my sister. The thought made his heart swell.

As he carefully guided her through the soft grass of Feldcroft he quickly found himself near the place he had called home for many years now. His uncle Solomon stood outside tending to their few animals and garden. He figured he may as well get the difficult part out of the way so they wouldn’t be interrupted with Ann. Sebastian did not see eye to eye much these days with his uncle. They had always had a somewhat tumultuous relationship since his parents had died. As he grew, he knew his uncle saw more of Sebastian’s father in him, their own relationship having been somewhat strained. However, wanting to make sure that a proper introduction could be made between his family and the new 5th year whom he had slowly started seeing a future with was more important than the many disagreements he’d had with Solomon over the past few years. Sebastian had send Teddy to feldcroft before sending the owl to her the day before. He’d asked Solomon if it was okay to bring the new student with whom he had been spending much of his free time with home to meet his sister and gain a proper introduction to the Sallow household. And while Solomon wished his Nephew got in less trouble, would give up this futile attempt at helping Ann, and better maintain his appearance as a sensible young man, he did understand and respect Sebastian’s maturity in the matter.

He sent the family owl back with a brief message accepting Sebastian’s proposal on the conditions he kept the time short as to not impede Ann’s rest, as well as handle it like a proper gentleman in regards to the young lady. However, Solomon could not deny he was curious about the girl who seemed to have caught his nephews affection enough to do something properly and for once in his life.

Her heart rapidly picked up the pace as she rounded the side of the small family cottage on the arm of her fellow Slytherin. He lifted the latch on the small wooden fence, allowing for them to both pass through. She noticed what had to be his uncle had his back to them. Sebastian cleared his throat awkwardly saying “Uncle Solomon” as his guardian turned to face them. Nothing could really have prepared Mr. Sallow for the sight he saw. His nephew, who usually looked every ounce of disheveled and cocky was standing there attempting to look proper for possibly the first time in his young life. Solomon recognized the same look of nervousness his younger brother had come home sporting the day he introduced the twin’s mother to their parents. Turning his attention towards the young girl, whom he had learned bits and pieces of from both children in his care and his former colleagues at the ministry, was standing next to his nephew, her delicate hand wrapped around Sebastian’s arm. He remembered to mind his manors. Solomon thought to himself impressed at the boys ability to follow instruction on this rare occasion.

The girl stood almost a head shorter than his nephew, with the top of her head coming to just barely below Sebastian’s chin. She was quite small, yet from what he had heard through the grapevine she took down a troll in Hogsmeade the day his nephew had accompanied her to replace her supplies. Not to mention the dragon attack her and one of the schools professors endured on their way to Hogsmeade. He knew she must hold some strength at the very least to have encouraged this radical change in behavior in his nephew.

Sebastian carefully helped her navigate their family garden and over towards his uncle, who was whipping his hands on a rag he kept on him while outside. “Uncle Solomon, I would like you to meet y/n. She is the new 5th year at Hogwarts” Sebastian said trying to keep his voice from shaking. He didn’t know why this felt so scary. It was just his uncle, whom he at most times despised. Still he stood in front of his guardian nervous as he unwrapped the girl’s hand from his arm to place his hand on her lower back. He gave his uncle pleading eyes as if to say please don’t embarrass me I really enjoy the company of this girl.

“Hello Mr. Sallow. It’s nice to meet you.” She said summoning the same strength she used to fight trolls and offered her hand to shake. Solomon simply looked at the pair before properly shaking the girls hand. He barked out a laugh and responded “please, called me Solomon. it’s wonderful to finally meet the young lady who slowly is turning my immature nephew into gentleman.”

Sebastian slowly started to zone the two of them out as she expressed awkward pleasantries with his uncle. Sebastian imagined what it would be like had his parents not died when he was so young. Back in their old flat in London, bringing her into his childhood living room while his parents would no doubly be enamored with her.

He could almost clearly see the vision in his head: they would stand on the stairs outside his parents home, awaiting his fathers answer. His father, whom he would look almost directly eye to eye with now, and slightly grey hair would smile and step aside as he would lead her through the threshold. Maybe she would bring flowers for his mother’s table. The second his mothers eyes would land on her she would instantly dote on her elaborate braids as his mother also struggled with the styles on her slightly greying brown hair.

They would laugh in the parlor as his parents would listen to her stories of growing up in a muggle village and share their recent discoveries in academia with the pair. At dinner he would help move the chair for her to sit and after he would lift a hand for her to rise gracefully. After dinner his parents would have their enchanted instruments play the music that always seemed to play in the evenings in the flat and he would join his parents as they often danced with her in his arms. She would accompany him to his childhood room full of trinkets and art on the walls listening to him explain how all the treasures came into his possession. His parents would end the evening by telling y/n she was welcome any time and his father would pull him aside and lay a hand on his shoulder saying he had “chosen well”.

Deep in thought he almost didn’t hear his uncle call out for him “Sebastian?”

The daydream broken his face turned towards the young woman next to him. She looked on him with a small amount of worry and eyes that seemed to say are you okay? His own gave back a look almost to reply yes I’m okay.

“Yes sir?” He found himself responding to his uncle.

“I still have work to do out here but you should accompany Miss y/l/n here inside. Ann’s been talking about meeting her all morning and was up late trying to clean the place and bake some treats for tea time. Best not to keep her waiting boy”. Sebastian shouldn’t have been surprised his Uncle would still manage to maintain his unimpressed tone that the young Sallow had grown to know quite well.

He found himself nodding at his uncle. She simply waved goodbye before allowing Sebastian to lead her through the yard around to the front door. When they approached she audibly sucked in a deep breath. He rubbed up and down her back reassuringly as he lowered his mouth to be right next to her ear. “She’s going to love you trust me.” His lips grazed the shell of her ear as he quietly whispered the words to her. She nervously nodded and he pulled back.

Despite the quite sad thought he found himself dwelling in moments before in the garden, he was still extremely elated to be standing on the stoop of his now home, hand resting on the back of the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid eyes on, who was nervous about meeting his sister. He was still trying to calm her nerves before heading in when he took her hand gingerly in his own saying “trust me, twin telepathy thing ya know? Besides what’s not to love…”

She flushed the deepest red possibly of her young life at his words. He hadn’t even realized the gravity of what he said trying to reassure until he looked down into her y/e/c eyes. She was looking up at him like he had hung the moon and the stars all by himself. Her eyebrow quirked and she lifted her hand up and brushed the stray lock of hair that had fallen out of place despite the gel back where it had been previously resting. His heart hammered at the second time now she had repeated this action with him.

The first being the moment he knew he never wanted another person sweeping his loose hair off his brow.

They had been standing on the stoop too long and were interrupted by the door opening and a squeal ringing out through the air. Anne. He had completely forgot why he told himself he was there. “Sebastian!” His twin loudly exclaimed and he took his arm from around the girl to hold out to his dear sister. Her thin frame pressed into his broad chest and he held her close. Their moment cut short as Anne interrupted his attempt to introduce the girl next to him. Anne always had been a bit forward.

“You must be y/n! Sebastian has told me so much about you. Honestly since the start of the year he quite literally never stops talking about you” Anne gushed at his companion as she pulled them inside the small home and ushered them towards the table. There sat all kinds of treats and the normal tea kettle. While he was somewhat embarrassed at Anne’s insistence on him being borderline obsessed with the new girl, she didn’t seem to notice.

The two immediately begun speaking as if they were old friends merely catching up. It wasn’t long before Anne asked her how she met Sebastian and how she was adjusting to hogwarts as a 5th year. Both girls were talking so fast he could barely make out much of what they were saying- although that may have had less to do with the speed of their conversation and more of how beautiful she looked sitting in their kitchen.

“… honestly without Sebastian I feel I may have been quite lost a lot of the time. He’s helped me both on the magical and the mischief path” she spoke with a laugh and he couldn’t express how much the thought made him smile. She would be lost without me.

“Oh Anne, before I forget, Ominis wanted me to pass along his regards along with some of your favorites from Honeydukes” she said reaching into the enchanted satchel she always kept on her and placing the treats from their mutual friend on the table.

“When did you have time to go to hogsmeade?” Sebastian asked, finally joining in on the conversation. He was genuinely curious given he was also there the day before.

“Oh ominis asked me to accompany him yesterday to collect this for you and help me pick out something as well” she said avoiding his gaze. For a brief second Sebastian’s heart sunk at the thought of her and Ominis walking around Hogsmeade together and alone yet that thought quickly faded as he realized why his friends had gone without him to the small village.

His heart practically grew 10 times its normal size as she produced a small basket with yarn and knitting needles, along with a small book explaining the basics of the craft. The girl turned to Anne and explained “I spoke with Ominis and he said you’d taken to doing things with your hands and mentioned you wanted to try your hand at knitting. I figured since we were in the area I could grab something for you.”

Sebastian knew that as kind hearted as the girl was, she hadn’t merely gotten the idea while strolling the small village, and that it had to have been her idea to go in the first place. If he could’ve conjured a ring out of thin air he would’ve. Sebastian thought back to when his father explained that he had known that Sebastian’s mother was the one he wanted as his wife from their first interaction. This now made so much more sense in the young boys mind.

Ann immediately jumped to her feet, tossing her thin arms around y/n muttering many “thank you’s” at the girl before returning to her chair. She brought one of the teal colored yarns up and turned to Sebastian and asked “this color is lovely, it really brings out y/n’s eyes doesn’t it?”

He simply nodded as the girls started to flip through the book discussing how one would go about knitting a scarf. His two favorite girls. Without thinking he reached under the table, grabbing her hand from where it rested on her lap, bringing it over to rest on her knee. She briefly looked at him and smiled, allowing him to wrap his fingers around her own before squeezing his hand. He returned the gesture as if to say told you she would love you.

It wasn’t long before their uncle came inside the small house. Immediately upon entering Anne stood from her chair and quickly showed Solomon the gift brought to her by the new student. The older man, while slightly surprised, nodded and made a mental note to comment on it to his nephew later. In the months since Anne fell ill, he had yet to see her so full of excitement and life. He couldn’t be more grateful for his nephew bringing this strange girl into their home.

“I don’t mean to cut this short, however this has been a lot of excitement for Anne in one day, and she probably should rest.” He cut in after another half hour of listening to the young girls chatter about everything from hogwarts to the London fashions.

She nodded knowingly and Anne was quick to hug her before even attempted to reach for Sebastian. “Please visit again soon. This has been the most wonderful of times” Anne said pleading. She smiled at her warmly and said “of course, I will visit when I can. In the meantime I promise to owl”

“Wonderful!” Ann then whispered something to the girl, making her blush as she stepped back to allow Sebastian to say goodbye to his twin.

Anne folded herself once again into his arms. “Is this new cologne Sebastian?” She said out loud. He could’ve died in that moment, knowing the girl most certainly would’ve caught him in the lie he told her earlier. He only nodded against the top of Ann’s head before leaning back and saying “See you later goober”. Anne quickly smacked him with the book on the table before reaching over to her bed and handing in the small box he had asked her to prepare before he came.

Solomon offered to walk the pair out, as he held the door for her. Sebastian stuffed the small box under his arm and followed behind the girl and his uncle. Once outside his uncle shook her hand one more time saying “you’re welcome back any time y/n. Thank you for attempting to make a man out of my nephew. Although if you could get him to fix that mop on his head before Christmas so I don’t have to take shears to it myself I would be grateful”.

She simply smiled and awkwardly nodded, noticing the mild edge in Solomon’s voice lending more towards an actual command not a joke. It made her uneasy seeing Sebastian’s face at the comment.

Solomon turned towards Sebastian and nodded before heading back inside. Finally being away from his uncle, he let out a sigh of relief and returned his attention to the beautiful slytherin girl next to him. Without thinking he laced his fingers in hers and they walked towards the floo flame together.

Before they reached it she asked him “so what shall we do with the rest of our Saturday. It will be a while before the great hall is serving dinner?”

“I was thinking we could spend some time in the undercroft. I asked Anne to grab some of our keepsakes so I could show you since I knew Solomon would rush us off”. He responded. He was still a little angry about his uncle ordering around a girl he just met, a girl who had been nothing but sweet, on Sebastian’s behalf. However he refused to let Solomon ruin this otherwise perfect day.

“That sounds wonderful, let’s go” she said pulling him into the bright green flame into the halls of the defense against the dark arts tower of Hogwarts.

___________________________

“Wait Sebastian you were so adorable!” She exclaimed looking at the photo of him on his mothers lap when he was around 5 years old.

“Were?” He asked feigning being upset by placing his hands on his chest.

“I mean you still are, however look at this. You looked adorable. Look at your little ponytail” she says waving the photo around still amused how precious his former self looked.

He pawed the hair on his neck, trying to remember what it had felt like to have his hair that long. She noticed him looking down in his lap with the saddest of expressions while pulling on his hair so she shifted closer, putting the photo back in the box and pushing it aside. She was slightly unsure how to proceed however she had an idea. So lifted her hands to his hair and slowly brushed her fingers through the slightly wavy brown locks. The second her fingers made contact his hand stilled and he looked at her. For a brief moment she was terrified she misread his emotions and had annoyed the boy. His wild expression unreadable, however he made no attempts to stop her. So she continued her slow motion, helping to separate the gel so it returned to its more wild and natural state.

“While I appreciate the attempt at grooming I prefer you a bit more, we’ll say, ruggedly handsome” she mentioned as an explanation for her actions.

He immediately calmed feeling her deft fingers along his scalp. Thinking of how his mothers hands used to brush through his hair, separating the knots and tying the band to keep it contained while he played. His mother always loved his hair when he was younger and took much time to attend to it. While it may not have been his fathers favorite look for the young boy, his love for his wife overshadowed all else. Sebastian, even as a young boy, felt that those moments where his mother lovingly adjusted, groomed or simply played with his hair to be some of the most loving actions he had ever felt. While Anne had grown into a similar role at times with both their lack of a mother, she never really intended the action the same way. He loved his twin more than anything, but she saw attempts to help her brother groom as a necessity, almost a chore, not an outlet to show love and affection as their mum had.

Sitting in there undercroft now Sebastian couldn’t help but let out a single quiet tear at how much this moment meant to him. It rolled down his freckled cheek so quickly most people would have missed it. She noticed it almost immediately, reaching a thumb over to brush it from his cheek before continuing without a word. It’s his story to tell or keep she reminded herself.

After a while a he peaked open his brown eyes, looking directly into hers. His eyes had remained glassy despite not shedding anymore actual tears. The knot in his throat remained. She smiled briefly at him as she slowly started to pull her hands away. He reached his hand up to stop her from removing her fingers. Pushing them back up into his hair she chucked as he acted almost childish in his wish to be doted on. While she didn’t want to admit that the position had become slightly uncomfortable she was beginning to struggle to keep her arms up as the boy was taller than her even while sitting. She slowly eased his slumping shoulder down so that he laid on the floor of the undercroft atop the blanket they conjured. Laying with his shoulders and head across her lap he sighed as she continued.

Hours, minutes, days, he had no clue how long he laid there allowing her to give him the simplest but most meaningful affection he had experienced in years possible ever. Every so often he’d crack open his eyes to see her smiling down at him. She’d brush the back of a hand over his forehead or freckle filled cheeks before returning to his brown hair. The action slowly made the lump in his throat dissipate and this almost sad expression was replaced with a slight smile as he thought she must truly care for me, to show such affections.

“My mum used to always do this when I couldn’t sleep” he said, voice horse from the lack of use and swelling emotion he was feeling. He opened his eyes to gage her reaction. She simply nodded continuing while allowing him to say what he wished. He appreciated her understanding that this kind of a story, should be left completely on him to share.

“She really did love my longer hair you know. Dad always put the foot down when it got too much past my shoulders but mum loved it.” He paused gathering his thoughts. Unsure if this story was even worth sharing with the girl. He was sure she probably didn’t need to know such trivial things about him, however after watching today as she fully committed herself to gaining respect in what remained of his family, as well as showing him the extent of her care towards him, Sebastian didn’t doubt for a second he should share everything there was to know about him. He truly had nothing to lose yet everything in the world to gain from having such a wonderful girl at his side. As silly as it may sound he wanted someone other than Anne to know the reason he had strong aversions to getting his cut or why he thoroughly enjoyed this moment now.

��When they died, and uncle Solomon came to collect us I figured it would be the last thing on anyone’s mind. You would think he wouldn’t want to further upset a kid who just lost his parents ya know? But the second we crossed that threshold at feldcroft he marched me to that kitchen chair muttering how boys should always look proper, keeping their hair off the ears and collar, before giving me a hack job that rivaled Duncan Hobhouse. I remember Anne watching terrified from the side of the room but unable to do anything. To a young kid having something so wrapped in your identity stripped, especially given how much my mother loved showing her care to me that way…” he trailed off not knowing how to continue the thought without breaking down. He decided to shift away as he was sure she understood the train of thought and would prefer to keep what little dignity he may have as a young man in front of the girl.

“Every so often in the years after same story. Aggressive shearing at the kitchen table and then forcing me to clean it up. Eventually Anne learned how to cut just enough to keep it with in his rules so he would stop. Ever since Anne was cursed it’s been the last thing in everyone’s mind, until today. I still have no idea why he would even tell you that is your responsibility “ Sebastian let out an annoyed sigh as he played with the buttons on his vest.

Her hand had stilled in his hair and he knew their calm moment may have ended. She still kept her fingers on his scalp as she responded “oh Sebastian… that’s horrible. I am terribly sorry”. Her voice was full of empathy. He looked up at her and swallowed unsure how they were to proceed now that so much had been revealed in the dim light of the undercroft.

“You have nothing to apologize for Love…” his words dropped off for a moment and he moved his hand to grab one of hers before holding it tightly in both of his. “You truly have showed me more care than anyone has since our parents died” he continued while examining every crevice of her beautiful hands. Sure she had some scattered scars on her knuckles and callouses from her wand scattered, but he decided then and there that these were the most beautiful hands he had ever seen.

He wanted to show her even half an ounce the love she had shared for him, but was unsure how to be proper about it. Given their close proximity little remained in terms of getting closer. He did not feel as though he had crossed a line she was uncomfortable with. He slowly brought her palm close to his mouth.

She felt her breath falter the second his lips made contact with her palm. He didn’t rush it either, slowly allowing himself to place a kiss on her palm, before moving just above where he placed the first to place another. Slowly he placed delicate, butterfly like kisses over every inch of her hand and fingers. Somewhere along the way he started muttering out “thank you” after “thank you” against her skin. She sudden felt lightheaded.

Sebastian wasn’t sure when he planned on stopping. He wasn’t sure if he ever wanted a moment to pass for the rest of his life where he didn’t have some sort of contact on her soft skin. He prayed to Merlin she hadn’t noticed how he lingered too long when he kissed her ring finger. His eyes opening for a brief moment to imagine what a simple band would look like adorning her lovely hand. The thought almost scared him and yet exhilarated him at the same time. Of course this wonderful woman should one day carry his hand, his ring, his name, his children…

After a while he stopped and thread his fingers in hers. Same as he had at this kitchen table, it still felt like a perfect fit. They laid in the silence together, listening to each other breathe.

She decided that while she did enjoy getting a deeper spot in his heart and mind, they had a lifetime for serious moments. “So Anne gave you the cologne?” She mischievously mentioned with a sarcastic tone. He had completely forgot Anne ousted his lie.

Sebastian felt warmth flash over ever inch of his body. He finally leaned up from his resting spot on her lap and shyly rubbed his neck. “I may have lied…” was the only response he could come up with.

She laughed plucking the courage to grab his hand voluntarily. He slightly smiled at her comfort in the act. “It’s okay Sebastian I know you just wanted to impress me” she said almost teasing him, however given it was a true statement he saw no need in denying it.

The Sallow boy figured he wanted one more milestone before they would have to return to their normal lives. Nothing too far however after the day they had he wanted more than to just hold her hand. He unwrapped their fingers to instead put his arm around her shoulders. Pulling her body close to his, he allowed his warmth to circle her. He leaned in closer to her ear, lip’s barely grazing the lobe as he playfully whispered “So have i successfully impressed you y/n?” He asked not really caring about the answer. He truly just wanted to see her face flush. When her cheeks slowly tingled with pink she nodded while briefly making eye contact before staring into her lap.

“I will admit I like this more mature version of Sebastian I’ve had the pleasure of meeting today” she replied after a moment. He took a single strand of hair that was resting near his hand on her shoulder and twirled it letting it slip along his digits. He tried not to think of the implications of what she meant.

“Well, I promise if you wish to see more of him, that he’s all yours, should you choose…” his words faltered as he continued “I wouldn’t just comb my hair for anyone now” Sebastian continued with a laugh as she snorted, surprised at this playful retort in a time so intimate. He always felt those moments ought not be mutually exclusive.

She looked up at him. Same brown eyes as this morning. Same brown hair. Same freckled filled cheeks. Yet it all felt different now. She leaned in and she ever so gently placed a chaste kiss on his right cheek. His eyes fluttered closed as if to savor the moment.

“I would love nothing more”.

——————————————

In the following weeks since their visit to Feldcroft, Sebastian found himself always lingering next to her when he could. Sure she still had Ranrok and the keepers to deal with, occasionally joining Natsi or Poppy out of the castle for endeavors to take down the goblins or criminals, but he was there when she was free. Moments to and from class he found himself walking along side her, tucking her school supplies and in under one arm while the other was stretched out towards her. Despite still continuing their playful banter, he would find himself rushing ahead to hold doors, pulling out chairs for her to sit or offering his robe when she got cold. A flirty gentleman some would say.

The attention had not gone unnoticed by those around him either. Their house mates and friends obviously were quick to notice, as they saw more of the pair in places like the common room cuddled up next to the fire or at dinner when he’d offer the last roll to her. Poppy had clocked her crush on Sebastian quite early, as in one of their magical beasts class she caught the Slytherin girl staring longingly at the boy who was cuddling up next to a niffler.

Even some of the professors had noticed not just the pair, but the shift in the resident trouble maker as well. While he had always used a strong sense of manors around adults, they slowly started to notice the lack of finding him in precarious situations. Madam Scribner slowly started leaving the Restricted Section of the Library with its normal enchanted lock, and now no longer finding it tampered with in the mornings. Professor Sharp saw the way the boy was always quick to grab her often heavy advanced potions books and supplies, treating them with such care. One comment from professor Garlick almost sent her into a coma as the sweet herbology professor noted that it was “such a lovely thing to see young love blossoming at Hogwarts”, encouraging Sebastian to feel free to select any of the flowers he wished from her muggle section of the greenhouses. While he groaned at the embarrassment he still took her up on the offer anyway, often slipping them behind her ear from time to time.

After Ominis walked in on Sebastian and her laying in the undercroft one night sharing sweet words and stolen pecks, she decided she ought to show him the room of requirement. Deek had sworn to not tell professor Weasley of Sebastian’s presence as she had done so much for him and the magic creatures around hogwarts. Deek himself thought the calming nature that Sebastian brought the often stressed young girl to be a lovely thing. She truly did need to stop trying to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Sebastian had slowly realized as time went on that they could possibly save Anne with her ancient powers so his trips to the restricted section became less and less frequent. He slipped into an almost normalcy with her, in the most proper and respectable of ways. Something the mischievous boy would never have seen coming months before if you asked him. However, she had reigned him in much like she had the wild magical creatures she kept in the vivarium.

Sebastian had grown to love nothing more than sneaking off with her to the secret room after dinner and laying in the grass of her vivarium as she stroked his still growing brown locks. While he was still unsure quite how they worked, given his slowly growing tan, he would assume they acted as a port key of sorts, bringing them to a place almost always warm and sunny. The sunlight that brought him a slightly darker complexion was bringing out more of the freckles that she loved so dearly, as well as turning some of his brown tresses into a color similar to honey. She couldn’t help but love what the sunlight brought out in the young man.

Today they had migrated inside the back rooms of her private area, laying on a sectional she conjured months before. Her magic abilities in the brief amount of time she had known of them still impressed him. She set a book they had found in one of Isadoras’s workshops on the arm rest of the chair reading over the notes. He laid his head in the almost permanently claimed spot of her lap, soaking up the now normal affection of her petting his hair.

“What are your plans for winter holiday?” He asked her. She looked up from her book nervously. It’s not that she didn’t want him to worry but she knew he would feel bad for her when he discovered she had no plans other than staying at hogwarts.

“Well… professor Fig and I decided that with so many people after me right now, returning home to my very much muggle family would put them in harms way. I planned to stay here honestly…” she felt sheepish. The poor girl with no where to go in order to keep her family safe. Professor Fig had helped her pen them about the danger and while they were disappointed they understood why she intended to keep them at distance for now. Initially wary of the strange man who explained that their seemingly normal daughter was a witch, now accepting that he would stop at nothing to help keep her safe.

Sebastian sat up from her lap shocked she was going to spend Christmas alone. He reached for some blank parchment and a quill immediately without thinking. She looked at him confused for a moment before asking what he was doing.

“Writing to Uncle Solomon. No one should be alone at the holidays. Besides we already take in Ominis and Anne’s been begging to see you again”. He made it sound so natural. Of course she would spend her holidays with him. It made every ounce of sense to Sebastian.

She quietly responded “are you sure that’s okay? I don’t want to impose…”

He looked up from the now finished note, trying to find the owl that occasionally hung out in her private room. Finding it, he simply passed on instructions and sent the snowy owl on its way. Sebastian rejoined her on the couch, collecting her slightly shaky hands in his. “I see no reason for him to object given the situation. Whenever you’re there things are… easier” he quickly pondered how harvest festival had gone with her at their table. She actually did the heavy lifting with the cooking since Anne was still unwell and their uncle always seemed to burn dinner without the help of a “woman’s touch”. The pair of young girls had moved about the kitchen together laughing as flour coated their hair and warm smells filled the house. Even Ominis occasionally cracked a smile at their antics, finally getting to enjoy his two friends together and Anne seeming to be in better spirits than normal. The only bump in the road once again being Solomon slightly more grumpy this time, telling him to get a haircut before he returned home again. The thought loomed over him but he brushed it off as he still had a week to figure something out…

“I want you there” he said with sincerity as he found her eyes. She looked at him smiling and nodding. “Well we shall wait for your uncle to approve it or not before getting too excited” she said.

She always was more realistic and grounded than him. He understood though. She was the rational for his passionate nature. With the danger she faced and the power beneath her fingers, she had to be calm and level headed as to properly handle situations she found herself in. They had grown to compliment each other wonderfully.

“Of course. Although I don’t imagine he will take poorly to the idea. Although my uncle and I don’t often get along, he seems to enjoy my presence more now that you’re around.” Sebastian poked at her side and she laughed.

——————————————

They were in the slytherin common room close to curfew with Ominis and Imelda when the owl returned from Feldcroft. Sebastian unwound its note, snagging a treat that he discovered she always carried for his personal owl off her. The discovery had warmed his heart.

Sebastian,

I will allow y/n to come, with a set of conditions, as Anne seems to truly do better when she is around. First, you will continue to be a gentleman towards her. I want no funny business, and nothing beyond what is acceptable. Secondly I want no talk of a cure for Anne while anyone is here. Let us simply enjoy a normal holiday without your rambling. Lastly, I meant what I said about fixing that damn hair of yours. You have a lady on your arm, and you are representing our family, be mindful of that.

Off the ears and off the collar.

~ Solomon

She sat next to him, eyes pleading his response as he finished reading the note. He was thrilled she would be allowed to come… with the exception of the last part. Given their proximity to curfew he didn’t want to delve into the intricacies of why his uncle allowed her to come until the morning. The thought of openly giving Imelda ammunition on his hair, something she mocked enough on her own, made he queasy. Ominis also would tease him relentlessly if he knew, so he decided to wait until the following day to discuss it with her. They only had potions on Fridays, so they spent more time in the room of requirement on those class days.

“He said you are more than welcome to come.” Sebastian responded while tucking the note back in his blazer, as he had discarded his robe soon after reaching the common room. He accepted whatever fate he’d have to deal with in order to spend a holiday with his sister and his best girl…

——————————————

The night had come and gone. Sebastian was standing in the shared slytherin bathroom fixing his tie in the mirror before breakfast. His wet hair was still clinging to his forehead and in the back touching his shoulders. He sighed, running his hand through the brown tresses. In the past 7 weeks since she met his family, he had thoroughly enjoyed having her preen his locks. She was not shy about the fact his hair had to be one of her favorite qualities about him. He knew at some point it would have to come to an end as Solomon was still his guardian. Still it felt bittersweet.

He found himself zoning out at breakfast and in class. He was anxious beyond belief. The only thing keeping him grounded was her hand holding his beneath the table as she brought him back to earth every so often. She’d smile warmly at him and he’d fall back into reality for a bit as he briefly overheard the grumpiest of the professors praising her skill with the caldron. That’s my girl.

Once they finished for the day, he helped her navigate the halls with a simple hand on her lower back and all their books in his other arm. They always found themselves in the room of requirement without having to mention where they were going. Once inside she took off, going to care for the magical creatures. He sat nervously in one of the chairs she kept near her loom, holding the note from his uncle he’d received the night before. The same phrase that had been repeated over and over as he attempted to sleep still plagued him: off the ears and off the collar.

Sebastian wished he knew why such a trivial task caused him such anxiety. At the end of the day, hair was hair and it grew back. Even he could admit it was getting to the point he found himself frustrated with it most of the time as it fell into his line of sight or tickled his ears. He was more concerned with how she was handle it. That and the logistics of who was going to take shears to his head, since if it was him, he knew it would look bad.

She stepped out of the vivarium and walked towards him. In her hands she held some puffskin fur and joberknot feathers. She laid them out next to the loom and came to stand near him. Her fingers immediately sought out his hair. Usually the act would cause him to relax but now he found himself tensing up. She sensed him tense and removed her hand, almost wounded by his reaction. He looked at her as if to say it’s nothing you did.

He simply held up the note from Solomon for her to read as explanation for his strange reaction. At first she was worried something had happened with Anne, and quickly snatched the note. She had noticed his downtrodden nature all day and was worried what caused it. When she finally finished reading she understood why he seemed upset.

“What are you going to do?” She asked him in a hushed whisper. It seemed so trivial the more he thought about it. The girl who had a thousand problems, and faced real danger at every corner, was treating something so seemingly stupid with the same care she would rescuing someone from the likes of Victor Rookwood.

He sighed and grabbed her hand from his shoulder, placing a kiss on her knuckle. “Be a man and get a haircut” he said with a small laugh. No one was dying and she would continue to feel the same about him, at least he thought so.

She looked concerned for a moment before responding “who are you going to have do it for you?” She asked shifting her weight to her other foot. It was a reasonable question, and he understood why she’d ask. Anne was in no position to be doing such things. Ominis, while an expert at somehow managing to maintain his own hair perfectly, was unfortunately blind. He wouldn’t trust someone like Imelda near his head with shears. That only left himself and the girl as far as he thought.

“I could attempt it myself, or you could try..?” He seemingly posed as a question. While he was confident she would do her absolute best, and wouldn’t Intentionally make him look bad, the worried look at the thought that crossed her face made him concerned.

She pondered it for a moment, face full of anxiety and fear. Then she had a brief flash of realization. She took his arm, leading him to the floo flame towards an unknown destination. Under normal circumstances he’d be worried but he fully trusted her. At the end of the day, he truly only was concerned about looking presentable for her.

Within seconds of using the flame he smelled the familiar air of Hogsmeade. She continued pulling him off towards the small river. He let her. She knew what she was doing. Sebastian knew one thing about his life at the current moment: he could trust her with just about anything from his life to even something as small as grooming. She knew how much small things like this were sometimes scary for him. Sebastian knew that she would respect his childhood trauma entirely while also making sure he didn’t walk away appearing as if he got attacked by a kneazle.

He saw the striped red pole and realized where the girl must be taking him. He remembers Anne coming here after a confringo disaster lead to her requiring the bangs she still kept to this day. Madam Snelling sure had a reputation around Hogsmeade as someone who, while occasionally pegged for rude, was honest to a fault. In fact, day of the troll attack, while she was off repairing carts for some of the venders she had stopped him, practically begging him to allow her the opportunity to tame the unruly hair that was even quite disheveled at the beginning of their school year.

Before heading inside she gave him one last glance as if to ask “is this okay?” And he simply nodded, grabbing the door and stepping aside so she may enter. Upon entering she was immediately swept into loud pleasantries with the flamboyant woman. He watched almost laughing as the girl received air kisses from the stylist commenting on how she is glad the girl took her advice and started leaving her hair down from time to time.

He glanced around realizing while he passed it often in Hogsmeade, it was one of the few stores he actually hadn’t stepped foot in. He did know for a fact that Ominis liked to pretend he didn’t come inside almost twice a month to maintain the same appearance he had sported since first year. After today Sebastian realized he could no longer tease his friend for it. “So what brings you in today?” The older woman asked, glancing at the pair of Slytherin students.

She pulled him closer to her side as he had unintentionally been cowering behind her. “Well, I know you said I could cash in a favor sometime, so I was wondering if you could help this one out in place of that favor…” she trailed off gesturing to Sebastian.

Madam snelling looked absolutely thrilled finally seeing the young boy who’s hair had to have been as lovely as his twins sister in her shop. “Ah the Sallow boy! I remember your sister, Ann isn’t it?” He simply nodded reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. He felt her hand slowly rubbing up and down his back in reassurance. “I have been wanting to get my hands on that mane months ago after the troll attack! Besides I do owe your friend a favor for running all the way to the coast to collect supplies for me”. She started rambling about how floo travel turned whatever she had delivered into unintentional hair dye so it must be transported via broom.

She removed her hand from his back and stepped back towards the stylist, speaking in a quiet tone he couldn’t quite understand. Madam Snelling nodded quickly at whatever she had informed her of quickly replying “I will be gentler than a mooncalf I promise! Come on over Love” she said turning her attention back towards him.

He cautiously sat down, allowing her to tousle his hair around before she asked him “so what kind of style would you like today?”

He hadn’t really thought about it. The events of the last 24 hours had led him into a situation he truly couldn’t have planned for. Snelling must have realized he didn’t know so she hoped to ease him in a direction by saying “I know your other friend, the blind boy, comes here often. I could do the same as him if you want?” No. He wanted to scream that while his friend looked great, that is not a look Sebastian imagined would look good on himself.

She spoke up quickly from next to him before he found the words to respond. “Is there any way you could just help clean up what he has now? As long as its just off the ears and collar I am sure it will be a tad more acceptable than it is now”.

Thank Merlin. He thought to himself.

“I don’t really do simply acceptable if you know what I mean dear. I made a career out of making people look good. While… we certainly have a good frame to work from there’s much to be desired by this current lack of style. I have a few ideas on my own, I was wondering if you knew what essence you were reaching for?” Sebastian was more than confused. How does hair have an essence?

The girl once again cut in, bringing the words he could no longer find to the conversation, “What about just a proper gentleman with a more ruggedly handsome edge? He has this one lock that always falls on his forehead, I would hate to see that too tamed you know? I think he should maintain a sense of himself. Also if you can leave it long enough to still put a hand through that would be perfect.”

Madam Snelling immediately started smiling and nodding her head. Finally. While Sebastian was quite confused what exactly that all meant, knowing she like also didn’t know what the outcome would be either, he trusted her.

It wasn’t long before he found himself with hair freshly washed and an anxious expression meeting her face. She gave him a reassuring smile. At least he knew that he would avoid another hack job at the hands of his uncle or an accidental mistake if she had braved his unruly hair in the room of requirement. A quite funny thought of Deek appearing just to see him with a towel around his shoulders and poorly cut hair on the floor almost made him laugh. Oh Merlin, if they had to rely on the house elf for help that would’ve been a disaster.

Honestly, the more he pondered it, the chances of ending up at a place like here to fix a mess someone else made seemed the most likely outcome. They had simply bypassed few steps. He could live with that.

Sebastian realized that this didn’t have to seem such the death sentence he had built it up to be in his head. He wasn’t a young boy anymore, who could have long hair being groomed by his mother. He was a young man who, wether he wanted to admit it or not, had to demonstrate the best the Sallow name had to offer. Sebastian should want to look presentable for her, so she could walk around her dorms without Imelda mocking her about when she was going to ‘groom him’. He finally sat up straighter seeing this as an opportunity for success not a punishment designed to make him fail. Besides, she was along him every step of the way, and would still be there at the end of the day to take him back to the privacy they developed and continue preening him.

He was slowly loosing himself in his thoughts when he heard her ask Madam Snelling “Is there any way possible you could show me how to do that? We often don’t get much free time these days and as I am sure you can tell, he still is quite jumpy when strangers touch him. It may be a good piece of knowledge to have for future reference”.

The woman simply nodded bringing the girl around to show her exactly what she was doing as he sat there, unsure where to look. He opted to simply close his eyes and let the process unfold without him awkwardly making eye contact in the mirror.

When the snipping started he was thankful that he had already shut his eyes as the first few sounds were quite jarring. He slowly felt his right ear being unearthed from the months of hair growth. It felt cold.

Madam Snelling, for as much shit as everyone gave her, genuinely seemed to care about her customers comfort in the chair. She noticed him still slightly tense and simply asked if she could get him anything, which he brushed off, opening his eyes again to see her very patient eyes examining the process in case in the future she would have to repeat it.

“Wow Sebastian I didn’t realize truly how long your hair has gotten” she said sheepishly. She almost seemed sorry by the way she spoke. What he didn’t know was that moments ago, seeing him having to loose the locks she knew he enjoyed simply so she could spend Christmas in Feldcroft made her feel guilty. It almost hadn’t crossed her mind, but as the first wave of chocolate brown hair hit the floor she understood the gravity of the situation. He was putting himself in a situation he didn’t want to be in for her.

The two had become close in the small amount of time they’d known each other and he could read her tone immediately. While confused why she would feel such as way, he lifted a hand out, almost beckoning her to grab it.

She didn’t notice him reaching for her at first, as her eyes were still trained to the floor watching the small mountain of brown hair accumulate at her feet. The same soft brown hair she loved watching him tousle. The same hair she herself would ruffle to calm him. Snelling sure is taking a lot of hair off she couldn’t help but think. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that she realized he was holding a hand out to her. She moved around, careful to not slip over his hair, and allowed him to thread his fingers with hers.

She had spent so much time reassuring him that everything would be fine, and now he needed to return the favor. “Hey, I really don’t mind this y/n. You’ve been kind enough to help me get this done properly, which I never would have asked for or even thought to do. Hell I was content to pass the shears to the house elf and let him give it a go when he’s only got a few hairs to call his own” she laughed at the thought as he continued “Is it something I would’ve done for myself, probably not, but this is such a small price to pay to wake up and see you amongst my family Christmas morning.” He spoke to her calmly for the first time since last night. She simply nodded.

He did feel the need to break the looming serious that had been over them by adding “Besides, it was getting unruly. How on Earth did you allow yourself to be seen in public with me?”.

She shrugged at his words with a small smile, realizing he was slowly starting to let go of the tension as the nape of his neck was slowly appearing for the first time since she’d known him. Finally coming to peace with the situation he tried to just relax. Haircuts could feel nice he supposed. Solomon always haphazardly grabbed large chunks of his hair, quickly removing them in whatever fashion was the fastest. Anne, while more gentle, just simply cut every strand a tad shorter than it was, unwilling to go further for fear of messing up. While the feeling of the enchanted shears and Madam Shellings fingers on his scalp were gentle. She would cautiously lift certain pieces, explaining to the girl what she was doing, before allowing the strands to be clipped. It felt more relaxing than he figured it would. Not quite as nice as the new student simply running her hands through his hair, but still nice.

He did loose his calm nature for a brief moment when he opened his eyes to search where she had situated herself and he caught a glimpse of a quite large chunk of his brown locks falling into his lap. Oh Merlin. He couldn’t help but semi-panic but when he made eye contact again with the girl, seeing her smiling at his new appearance, the worry disappeared again.

Eventually the snipping stopped and he was turned away from the mirror. He felt hands pushing strands of his hair out of his face. At least he knew he had a tad bit left. He had begun to grow mildly concerned seeing the size of some of the snippets and with how long it was beginning to take. Madam snelling took a step back, asking his companion what she thought.

He was curious at her reaction, blushing as she looked down at him. She came forward, pulling a strand or two onto his forehead. Her eyes locking with his brown ones. He sucked in a breath seeing her so close. “I love seeing these few pieces fall over his brow” she said before continuing “I really love it Madam Snelling. I can’t thank you enough for both being gentle and informative. I had grown used to the unkept look, I think it certainly looks more mature.”

“It was a pleasure Dear. I do say it’s some of my best work. What did you call it again?” She asked reaching around and undoing the cape around him, sending massive amounts of different sized clippings onto the floor. Sebastian stood and reached up to his neck. It was quite odd not immediately feeling brown curls under his fingers, but it wasn’t a bad thing necessarily.

“A ruggedly handsome gentleman?” She asked looping her fingers through his, pulling him towards a mirror. After having to navigate his hair on the floor - a sight that might’ve sent him into a coma days before - he found himself gazing at his appearance for the first time.

The sides were not much to write home about. Short enough to comply with Solomon’s rules, but not sheared down l short enough to show skin. The top however was shockingly split down the middle where it used to be pushed all to one side. In the front strands had been left longer and had been pushed back, almost like curtains, over his ears stood. In the front he saw the few strands she had pulled back on his brow in their normal place. It was different, but he felt as though it could be a nice change.

“So what do we think?” He found the stylist leaning against her counter, lighting a cigarette, beaming at her work.

Sebastian had to admit, he really did look good. Probably more put together than he had in years, yet as he lifted his hands to run his finger through it, noting that she had left him enough length in the curtain style fringe to run his hands through and push it off his face on both sides. “It’s going to take some getting used to…” he started to say, feeling her eyes on him, and he continued musing his brown locks in the mirror, gaining confidence as he continued. “I think its a nice change. I still feel like myself which is nice. It just won’t take a long time in the morning fusing over it not laying properly. Thank you, I am not sure I could have properly articulated this, but it’s perfect”.

He wasn’t sure how much of the thanks came across as directed at Snelling instead of her, but he didn’t really care. He truly just wanted to go back in the Room of Requirement and spend time with her until dinner, where he was sure their friends were going to have a lot to say. He merely put an arm out for her to hold. Madam Snelling passed him a small thing of gel, similar to Ominis’s but not quite as greasy. She explained to him that just a little would go a long way in keeping it looking tousled but in place. She even demonstrated how to quickly for the boy. She then sent the kids on their way with a quick comment about how long it was going to take to clean her floor from the massacre she preformed on his head. She slipped her arm into his and followed him out the door with a chime.

“Care to join me for a butter bear m’lady?” He spoke with a bad posh accent making her laugh.

“Lead the way kind sir” she responded as the pair headed off for the three broomsticks.

—————————————

When they reappeared in the Room of Requirement a small voice called out semi-startling the pair.

“How wonderful it is to see you again Miss y/l/n, and with your friend Sebastian who looks much older with his new do. ” The small house elf spoke up as they came barreling in the room laughing about how pale Sebastians neck look in comparison to the rest of him.

Receiving taunts from their friends was something he expected, however compliments from a house elf weren’t on his list of things to happen today. Sebastian simply responded “thank you Deek” as he ran a hand through the left side which had slightly shifted back onto his forehead from the floo travel.

Deek turned his attention back to her, telling her one of her thestrals had given birth to a fawn as Sebastian found himself looking in one of the many mirrors spread around the room. He was slowly getting acclimated to how it felt, getting used to not seeing the wild brown locks haphazardly placed around his head would take some getting used to. It felt a lot lighter as well.

He had already received several compliments now, Sirona hardly recognized him, saying that it was a “pleasant and unexpected change”. Although, the way she had passed glasses between the pair made him question if the witch was referring to the haircut or the change between himself and the new student.

After checking on the recently born thestral she joined him in the adjacent room on the lounge. As she sat next to him, he caught her staring, quickly quipping “you are staring you know”.

She quickly muttered out an apology, “I am sorry, your ears are just really lovely. Who knew they were hiding under there this whole time?”

“How are ears lovely?” He questioned with a laugh.

“I don’t know, they just are…” she trailed off, looking at her lap, embarrassed. He carefully lifted a hand to move her hair from covering the ear closest to him. While he didn’t exactly know what she had meant, he still took the opportunity to playful mess with her.

Lowering his mouth to her ear he kissed the outer shell before lowering his mouth, whispering against her earlobe the same way he had done in Feldcroft so long ago; “Everything about you is lovely, you know that?” He told her. While attempting to get a rise out of her, he still meant the words. He wasn’t prepared for the small moan that came tumbling past her lips before she could stop it.

Heat quickly rushed to both their cheeks. Maybe it was feeling more confidence due to the recent makeover, but Sebastian decided to do something that aired on the side of not-so-proper. He leaned back in towards her ear again, ever so carefully taking the lobe between his lips. He could feel the way she suckled in a deep breath, holding it. He lightly allowed his teeth to graze the delicate skin before leaning back just enough that he could see her eyes.

Somewhere along the way she had closed her eyes at the feeling. Her cheeks still flaming red as the new found act of intimacy startled and excited her in ways she didn’t fully understand. Before she had time to respond the bells for dinner started chiming and the trance was broken.

“We should probably go eat” she whispered out, not moving and voice thick with the looming feelings surrounding both of them.

“I concur, after you” he said responding in a similar manor. Neither moved. While he was certain she enjoyed the affection, he was unsure if she felt he crossed a line. The two, while close and growing daily into a nice rhythm, had yet to officially address what they were developing into. Realizing he had neglected to properly ask her to be his, assuming their shared glances, hand holding, and other moments to be sufficient.

When she didn’t move from the couch he simply decided that was something he needed to rectify. Sebastian pulling his weight from beside her, moving to the floor in front of where she sat. Taking one of her hands in his own he went to speak when he noticed her eyes get wide. “I am not doing that, calm down” he said realizing this was a similar stance to when rings were involved. Not now, but someday he thought.

“I am realizing on this lovely Friday that I have been improper. I have carried your affections without offering you the full extent of my hand. Would you do me the honor of an honest and proper courtship?” He said it in the same silly voice earlier he had used to invite her to the Three Broomsticks, however the weight of his words poked through despite his antics.

She simply nodded and he placed a delicate kiss to her knuckles before lifting her to her feet. “And would the lady please accompany me to fine dining of the great hall amongst our most cumbersome of allies?” He said continuing the same bit.

The pair broke out in laughter slowly creeping out the hall towards the floo flame. Given they would depart tomorrow for Feldcroft, she stopped to make sure Deek would be able to care for the beasts while she was away. Sebastian watched as the house elf handed her a scarf knit from the joberknot feathers she had been saving. She thanked him, giving him a small book in return. She is kind even to house elfs he thought.

The last thing they heard Deek say as they headed to exit was “It is so lovely to see Miss y/l/n and her friend Sebastian so happy”. And for once he couldn’t agree more.

—————————————

While he told himself he was prepared for the amount of grief his housemates were going to throw his way, he certainly wasn’t expecting the news to completely flood the Great Hall…

“No, no please Imelda describe it to me in detail.” Ominis said with a laugh. The table had been making jabs left and right as she and Sebastian arrived and took their normal seats.

“It’s better than he normally looks that is for certain” Imelda said before congratulating her roommate on successfully ‘domesticating’ the boy. She returned to Ominis and for once held back spite as she took her time carefully describing how it looked to their blind friend. While Ominis may have been cracking a joke, he truly did appreciate getting to gain a better sense of what his oldest friend now looked like.

Sebastian wished they could have sat at the Hufflepuff table.

Everyone in his house had similar reactions of openly giving him cheek, yet agreeing it was a pleasant change. He still felt quite self conscious about the whole ordeal. He was extremely grateful when her quiet friend Poppy Sweeting came over to exchange small gifts for the upcoming holiday, finding the courage to say that Sebastian should “Ignore what everyone is saying” and that she thought he “looked very handsome”. She really did live up to that name.

It still wasn’t easy to ignore the gagging noises he could hear from the Gryffindor table as he openly saw Leander and Gareth mocking both his new haircut and his affections towards the girl. He caught them making mocking kiss faces at each other after pretending to lob off Weasleys hair. He could stand to loose a few inches as well he thought before electing to wait until crossed wands to deal with them.

Before long dinner had ended and the group migrated back to their common rooms. Along the way they ran into several professors, including Fig who pulled the girl aside to confirm the work she was to continue over the holiday on their shared mission. The kind old man then returned the young girl to Sebastian’s company and made sure to compliment the boy saying “Mr. Sallow I dare say you have turned into a spritely young gentleman. Please keep an eye on Miss y/l/n over the holiday… although I am sure she will keep as close of an eye on you, as you will on her” Fig flashed a wink at the pair before quickly returning to whatever direction he had been running off to.

When they finally returned back to the safety of the common room the pair collapsed together on the couch closest to the fire. They knew curfew would soon be approaching, and tomorrow would have an early start, but for now they simply wanted to enjoy the remaining moments at Hogwarts before the end of the term.

He kept his arm wrapped around her shoulder as they all continued conversations with their housemates. she noticed on occasion his fingers would start drawing patterns across her shoulder. She did everything in her power to not blush as it slowly lulled her to sleep. Slowly everyone started trickling back to their rooms, leaving the common room mostly empty. He didn’t want to wake her, but assumed shed much rather start tomorrow on a full nights sleep. Besides prefects would be around for bed check soon. He brushed some hair off her face that had fallen when her head had softly leaned into his shoulder.

He placed a soft peck to her forehead, softly rubbing circles on her arm to help her slowly wake up. She stirred and slowly opened her eyes, finding him staring back at her with his lovely brown eyes. “Hey beautiful its bed time” he said still looking down at her.

She nodded and slowly stretched out her stiff muscles before allowing him to help her stand to her feet. She wobbled a bit, but he kept her upright, slowly helping her navigate back to the base of the enchanted steps he couldn’t help her climb. Damned Salazar Slytherin and his stupid charmed stairs.

She climbed up on the first step before turning around to give Sebastian a brief hug. Her toned arms wrapped around his neck and she breathed a sigh into his ear. He felt her smile as her cheek was resting against his skin. Before he could question why, he felt her delicate fingers toy with the now short locks at the base of his neck before she placed a small kiss on his ear, in the same manor he had earlier. Immediately everything became warm.

As quickly as she had done it, she pulled back from him. She ran a quick hand through his hair before saying “I truly love this haircut Sebastian, and I can’t wait to explore all it has to offer… goodnight Love” before running off. Between her comment and actions he felt the blood in his face rush elsewhere, and for once he was glad his best friend and roommate was very blind…

—————————————

It was very early in the morning as Sebastian crept down the hall to shower. He had been up most of the evening and wanted nothing more than to have the cool water run over his body before he was expected to be around people. While today most students boarded the Hogwarts express to go home for the holidays, their method of floo travel meant they weren’t stuck to a strict timeline. However, Sebastian this year wanted to leave early during the winter holidays in order to eat breakfast with Anne instead of in the Great Hall. He had risen earlier than even Omanis usually did, heading to take a quick shower before anyone else would be awake.

It was almost a startling surprise when he realized he grossly overestimated how much shampoo it would require for his short hair, dumping in the normal galleon sized amount, and the suds took forever to wash out. He made a mental note to Remember to use less shampoo next time.

Sebastian quickly dried off and slowly started to dress for the day, opting for a more casual trouser and loose fitting button down shirt. No need to wear the 3 piece plaid suits he was accustomed to at school. Toweling off his hair also took little time at all. He was used to having to fight it in the morning. Attempting to comb it after drying always took forever, yet only took a few seconds now. It was convenient he’d give it that. Heeding Madam Snellings words of caution, he used only a small amount of the cream she’d given him the day before, just to make sure it appeared tidy. While he planned on most days to let it hang somewhat free, making sure his uncle was satisfied today would be important.

After quietly packing his things and heading to the common room, he sat by the fire and decided to continue working on what kept him up late last night. After heading off to bed he realized that now with y/n coming to spend Christmas with his family, that he would also need to think of the perfect gift for her. Ominis was usually one of the simplest people to shop for, as he always enjoyed muggle literature translated into braille. Anne always was quite simple, as he knew his twin inside and out. For her however… it seemed difficult as some gifts seemed too sudden and others seemed not enough. Sebastian also had come to semi-unfortunate realization that she had to be one of, if not the best gift giver in the world. From the handmade niffler plush she made Poppy, to the Ugandan styled Gryffindor robes she designed for Natty.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard movement coming from the girls dorm hallway. Before long he heard quiet laughter. He turned his attention towards the hall in time to see her and Imelda coming down the stairs. Imelda was holding a new quidditch robe in her hands, with her holding what he assumed to be an updated broom in hers. Perfect gift giver.

He was shocked when his girl and Imelda formed a friendship, as he always found the girl quite rude and Anne had less than savory opinions after sharing a room for 4 years. Yet, being around her seemed to bring out a somewhat bearable side in the Irish Slytherin to the point he at this rate considered her more than an acquaintance. Imelda came down the stairs with the girl dressed in a simple linen shirt and trousers, her dark brown hair which usually sat in a boring ponytail was in one of the elaborate braids he knew must have been the work of her skilled hands. She quickly hugged the girl before saying “Happy Christmas” and acknowledging Sebastian with a nod and running back towards their room.

At her quick dismissal she turned around and came to sit with Sebastian. He had tucked the parchment he had been using to brainstorm back in his bag so she would not see. She came and sat next to him, her eyes drinking him in. He suddenly remembered the other thing that kept him up all night…

Sebastian moved to grab the hand she had been using to hold her bag, holding it in his own. “Goodmorning, you look beautiful as ever”. He said taking note of her chosen wardrobe. Dark green trousers which slightly tugged at her thighs, an off white button down that stopped at the elbow and a tight blue vest overtop. She seemed a bit more casual than normal, yet maintained the same look she always managed to have. She had thrown a worn brown leather coat on top of her bag, presumably for if it got colder. At closer inspection he saw… spikes? Where did she get a dragon skin cloak? No doubly plucked it off some poachers now that he thought of it. His girl was resourceful, he would give her that.

He was elated to see she had twisted her y/h/c hair into a very elaborate braid this morning, knowing Anne would enjoy seeing it. He was snapped back to reality when she said “you don’t look too bad yourself. How’s the hair holding up” She gestured towards his head before carefully adjusting his usually misplaced lock back to its natural resting place.

“Still getting used to it… I way overdid it with the soap this morning and it took ages to finally wash out…” her laugh cut him off. She couldn’t help but imagine his shock discovering that his normal amount of shampoo to way too much.

“Ya know, there is one thing I am still trying to figure out about it…” he said, breaking her thoughts from the hilarious image he had initially laid out. She almost didn’t catch how his tone had shifted. However, the gleam in his eyes vanished and instead was replaced by a look that was much darker.

“What would that be” she struggled to get out, voice suddenly going horse with nerves. He leaned in to her, brushing her braid off her shoulder and onto her back. Sebastian took his left pointer finger, slowly running the back of it down the side of her cheek and onto her neck before smirking. Leaning closer to her ear he whispered “I spent practically all night racking my brain trying to figure out exactly what my hair would have to offer you, and why you seemed so eager to explore it…”

At the mention of her own words, her eyes went wide. To be fair, she hadn’t meant to be so lewd the night before. Waking her up from sleep made her a lot more candor than she had ever intended. However, sitting here looking at the half smile playing on the lips of the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen her ability to care was slowly starting to dwindle.

She tried to play the same game he was getting at by replying “I guess you’ll have to wait and find out…” in the most sultry tone she could muster. She was completely unprepared for the almost growl that escaped his throat as she spoke. His eyes grew as it must’ve startled him as well.

Before either could reply they heard a bag drop to the floor near them as well as a voice drift out saying “If you two are done I would like to get going”. Ominis. He sure had a wonderful way of finding them in the worst possible moment. Now was no exception. He did have a point though, Sebastian couldn’t help but think. Collecting his bags, and hers the trio started to the flame, and with a flash were off to Feldcroft for the holidays.

To Be Continued…

Authors note:

I plan to continue this as a small series so stay tuned for when I finish part two, and I will upload as soon as I can! Feel free to leave suggestions if you choose! Also the photo linked in the text is a screenshot from TikTok where someone demonstrated an appearance Mod if anyone would like to know, the account name is @miss_soapy. It provided most of the inspiration for the fic… Thanks for reading!

Part 2 out Now:

#sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader #sebastian sallow x you #ominis gaunt #poppy sweeting #natsai onai #victorian #fluff #hand holding #hair play #haircut #anne sallow #imelda reyes #sebastian sallow/reader

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girltigerclaw · 5 months

Note

breaking into ur house rn

top ten characters and bottom ten. reasons are optional

I just finished this chart thing i think i actually stole from your blog a few months ago <3 Slightly edited to my own prefs.

If anyone wants the template check the reblogs, and feel free to add you own. I'd love to see. I'm just rambling under here:

Leafpool: She is more special and sacred than the virgin mary. She has everything. Daughter of the first protagonist, ex boyfriend for me to hate, TONS of wlw situationships<3, a lifetime of tragedy, and some of the most gorgeous canon art to exist.

Crookedstar: Crookedstar is a trans woman to me. Her life is genuinely just so tragic and fucked, I love it. The erins asked: “How much truama, death and misfortune can you fit into a single cat?” and then they wrote Crookedstar’s promise.

Tawnypelt: GIRLS WHO HATE THEIR FATHERS. The erins dont love her like I do.

Tallstar: I love old men… I fucking love seeing older characters and how much they’ve changed from their younger selves. Tallstar is considered one of, if not the most peaceful leader in the clans. But also when he was like 19 he went on a quest to fucking murder a guy :3

Cloudstar: I rlly do not care abt anyone in Skyclan(I like Leafstar but she's not a fav yknow?) Cloudstar... he was based as fuck. Why did Starclan get away with this shit for real??

Scourge: It’s fucking Scourge. He’s awesome

Briarlight: I’m disabled and I love her. She has such a consistent fun, sweet personality and she makes me happy!!<3

RavenBarley: It deserves all the attention and hype it gets. Though I wish mlm ships didn’t overshadow wlw ones in this fandom, RavenBarley is genuinely well written and makes me very emotional even if the publisher didnt allow it to be explicitly canon.

CrookedBlue: TRANS WOMEN CROOKEDSTAR YURI. Two leaders having a forbidden relationship and kits is way more interesting than Oakheart. The angst of Crooked and Blue sitting next to eachother every gathering while the entire forest has their eyes on them. Don’t look for too long, don’t let the mourning slip into your voice. You have to pretend your lover is a stranger. You… have become strangers. You can never be together again. You're enemies now. This is what we wanted, isn’t it? …We’ll never be happy again.

Mothwing: Her novella delving into her relationship with Hawkfrost was so good and heartbreaking.

Heathertail: Daughter of leader, sister of a major villian, and former love interest of a protagonist! Why did she fall off the second po3 ended. She’s shown to be very compassionate and willing to put her own feelings aside for the sake of others. Would’ve honestly prefered her as a mate to Lionblaze or get a pov herself over the nothing we got.

Blackstar: *Murders an elderly woman trying to stop me from kidnapping children. Supports a dictator openly abusing/neglecting children and the elderly. Murders a man for refusing to kill mixed raced children- then tells said man’s sister that she will never be safe.* Man…. i sure do feel bad for abusing and killing all of those people…. Good thing I will face no consequences and proceed to be made leader, where I will have even more power over the wellbeing of others.

I hate. This guy.

The New Prophecy: A classic. My first series was actually tnp! i feel more attached to first arc cats tho, if you couldn't already tell by my list lmao

Johanna Map- Best Tawnypelt content out there

BlueQuince: My personal handcrafted, homemade Yuri. Bluefur feels terrible about Tiny going missing and promises Quince she’ll help her find him. They never did, but they had a very… fleeting but intimate relationship. Quince is grieving and Bluefur feels so overwhelmed by the duties in her clan. They’ve always thought of eachother since but never met again.

Tigerclaw: My name sake<3 The angst of his earlier life is so, so facinating to me. Starclan being straight fucked up and decided killing him is their only option? He was a kid and they saw him as a lost cause from the start. They never tried any other methods, never tried to steer him in the right direction or… even just take it into their own hands and kill him themself, which they have SHOWN they’re capable of.

They watched all the the horrific crimes he commited, entirely aware they were going to happen. Thats. Fucking. Horrifying. Starclan is scary as shit… and his death? FANTASTIC. I only wish he’d gotten lives from cats he killed so that him coming back to life to suffer over and over was an actual curse from Starclan and not blessings. They knew how he would die and they gave him the lives to torture him for his sins…

Flywhisker: Adhd girlies. Painfully relate to that feeling of the constant scolding for never being “good enough” because I prefer to do things a certain way or struggle to focus. So, SO happy for her when she left the clans! You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! Hope she’s happy and warm indoors with her brother💕

(P.S. I was very suprised to find she actually had an official art piece!)

Bluestar: Get behind me women with mental disorders. I will defend you. Beautifully complex and tragic character, my favorite written in the series. Literally can't think of a single other female character in handled as seriously and with the complexity of Bluestar. (Although her super edition was a bit of an L with how others treated her, it ultimately makes her breakdown even more painful.)

Exile from Shaodwclan: Nightstar my beloved! He's such a great guy. The rightful leader of Shadowclan, always and forever.

Ravenpaw's Farewell: HE DIED IN BARLEY'S ARMS, TELLING HIM HE WILL FIND HIM, NO MATTER WHERE HE IS. FUCK.

Crookedstar art: So beautiful. I genuinely think she's one of the prettiest cats in the series. This along with her official art by Wayne Mcloughlin.

Leopardstar: As a kid I hated her and loved Blackfoot, now I hate Blackfoot and love her. #feminism. But seriously I think she has way more going for her than he ever has. Her father is a medicine cat who hates violence, the DRASTIC change in Riverclan's view of outsiders upon Crookedstar's death and her leadership. Her already having a position of power before proving she's unworthy of it. (Unlike Blackstar who gets rewarded for his racism and violence by being made leader afterwards) and the fact she has to interact with her victims on a daily basis after what she did.

The writings attempts to redeem her are really lame and dismissive of the actually damage she did, but at the very least they TRIED to do something else with her. Personally, I would have loved to see her assassinated by Mistyfoot. Just like her mother Bluestar was almost killed all those moons ago by Tigerclaw... The parallels of violence for power and violence for peace. A victim repeating the actions of the very man who killed her brother to put an end to what he started in Riverclan.... A shadow in Riverclan, if you will. (<-Pretending erin hunter has hired me to rewrite their series)

Windclan: Tunneling as a concept and inviting outsiders into their clan so friendly and casual makes the clan seems so much more diverse than the others. It always stuck out to me!

Andddd there are my current warrior cat options as of 2023! If someone actually read this whole ramble ily<3

#THANKS FOR THE ASK. sorry i wrote you a novel❤#I already wanted an excuse to just throw all my favs and thoughts into one place so i used ur ask as that lol #asks #mypost

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comicaurora · 2 years

Note

Hey Red! Huge fan of OSP and Aurora, my question for you is what animated superhero shows would you recommend?

little bee with an incongruously elephant-themed username, you are officially my best friend

Batman: Beyond

Fifty years after Batman: The Animated Series (which I also recommend, natch), Bruce Wayne has long since retired from being Batman and become a grumpy recluse until hooligan with a heart of gold Terry McGinnis steals the cowl and the fancy suit it's attached to in order to avenge his murdered father and goes on to become the Batman Of The Future, mentored by Bruce. One of the only truly episodic superhero cartoons - almost no overarching plotlines, just character arcs and the occasional villain with their own thing going on. Has a recurring rogue's gallery but also a higher villain bodycount than most superhero shows; villains of the week are not guaranteed to survive their episode, even (and especially) villains from the original Batman run. Exceptionally horrifying plotlines include "man presumed killed in industrial waste accident actually buried alive in horrifying immobilized undead purgatory and animates living humanoid masses of dirt for revenge", "all the cool kids are splicing their DNA and shockingly the dude in charge is evil about it" and "somehow the joker has returned." Also has a surprisingly good follow-up tie-in comic series (and a few less-good ones).

Justice League and Justice League: Unlimited

The first couple seasons (aka just Justice League) are almost entirely two-parters, mostly character-driven, focused in on the main seven founding Justice League members. The finale reshuffles the status quo somewhat, and then Justice League: Unlimited vastly expands the cast and incorporates basically every other DC hero ever written, but somehow doesn't completely fall apart like other shows that tried to follow suit. Most episodes of JLU are self-contained singletons that focus on small subsets of the expanded League - like "Double Date," which focuses on Huntress, The Question, Green Arrow and Black Canary and is well regarded as one of the best episodes. Features seasonal overarching plotlines as well as self-contained episodes that work in isolation. The JLU episodes that focus on the original seven Leaguers are always fun, but it's also nice to see other heroes get spotlighted.

Green Lantern: The Animated Series

Do you like lancers? Do you like sad bad boys? Do you like starcrossed love stories? Do you like self-loathing jerks with hearts of gold? Do you like it when Green Lantern is also there? Have I got a show for you! I firmly believe this show only exists to justify someone's OC fanfic romance between the world's angstiest bad boy and a sentient spaceship, and there are only Green Lanterns in it because there have to be. And it's worth it. Also features some deep pulls from the Green Lantern canon like Larfleeze, Mogo the living planet and Saint Walker the first Blue Lantern. Only two seasons and the art style takes some getting used to, but man it's got some high points. Extremely overarching-plot-driven with the occasional more episodic adventure.

Teen Titans

One of those shows that oscillates wildly between "so lighthearted it's a little tooth-aching to watch" and "so crushingly dark it's unbelievable that this is the same show as those other episodes," just how I like it. Extremely episodic which makes it easy to skip around, which is good, because a lot of these episodes are kinda dumb. Adapts some of the most iconic plotlines of The New Teen Titans, but it's a very different adaptation of all characters involved to the point where it's hard to think of them as the same characters at all. This is not a bad thing, it's just a thing. A superhero show where it feels like everyone is legitimately friends with everyone else, with shipping relegated to the background in favor of platonic dynamics. Main villain isn't allowed to be called his supervillain name because it has "death" in it and that's a no-no, so he goes by his actual legal name instead. For some reason a big deal is made over his identity and face being hidden despite his identity in the comics being Just A Buff Old Guy and his villain name being his legal name he pays taxes under.

Static Shock

Took me a criminally long time to watch this one, and I've only gotten through the first couple seasons, but it's really good. A solo hero rather than a team, Virgil's fun to watch because his powerset is limited but he's really smart with it. Turns out giving a brilliant nerd electromagnetic powers means he figures out a lot of ways to use them beyond "zapping things" or "magnetizing stuff" and it's fun to watch him figure out solutions to problems he can't just blast his way through. Also while the show had to limit some storylines to just coding and subtext (Virgil's best friend Richie is gay, but the kind of gay that's not allowed to be explicitly stated anywhere except creator interviews) the show is incredibly overt in discussions of systemic racism, police brutality, gang violence, sky-high familial expectations and how Virgil struggles to deal with all those things. Has a very brightly-colored and cartoony palette compared to other DCAU shows, making it incredibly jarring when someone hands Virgil a straight-up real gun in the first episode, which he promptly throws in the bay because he's a Certified Good Boy.

Legion of Super Heroes

Criminally underrated and only two seasons long! Clark Kent, long before he becomes Superman, gets recruited by a superhero team from the 31st century to travel into the future and help them out with a supervillain problem. He sticks around for a while learning to be a better superhero and live up to the legend he'll someday inspire, including acquiring his suit from a museum dedicated to himself. Lots of fun dramatic irony as an audience is expected to know stuff about Superman that even Clark doesn't know yet, like what Kryptonite is and why his powers don't work on planets with red suns. First season is very episodic. Everyone gets timeskipped in Season 2 and when Superman comes back he's actually been Superman for a while and is a lot better at it now. Standout character through both seasons is Brainiac 5, who is typically written romantically interested in Supergirl and in this show appears to have the exact same level of affection for Superman, which implies that his type is "kryptonians who can bridal carry me" and probably confuses the hell out of the remnants of Original Brainiac buried in his sourcecode. His "true form" is a ten-foot killer robot, which means he chooses to look like a twinky blond. In season 2 he uses a holodeck to play out dramatically dying in Superman's arms, which is around the point where "subtext" becomes "text." Superman and an edgy lancer clone of Superman spend the season 2 finale helping him out in a Battle In The Center Of The Mind versus Original Evil Brainiac, a process I am convinced only takes as long as it does because Brainiac 5 has two Supermen fighting for him and he's not gonna let that opportunity slip away. Take a drink every time he uses the phrase "twelfth level intellect" and finish the glass whenever he and Superman play out a scene that would be less romantic if they kissed.

Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes

On to Marvel finally! Rock solid through all of season 1, the writing gets a little shaky through season 2 - some episodes are spectacular, some are just okay, and a couple verge on full-on idiot plots. Still well worth a watch, if for no other reason than the broadly incredible character writing. This show writes Captain America so well that when he's replaced with a Skrull in season 2 the audience can tell that something is missing; Skrull-Cap acts the way Captain America acts when written by somebody who thinks he's boring, while real Cap acts like a real person who happens to be an absolute paragon of heroism. This show also writes Thor really well and respects his status as the powerhouse, and broadly all the characters are well handled and make good, smart decisions for the information they have available. This is what I consider to be the definitive version of The Avengers, and its existence is why I'm not mad at the MCU when it does my faves dirty - I know I'll always have EMH season 1!

X-Men: Evolution

So, SO early 2000s! Most of the younger X-Men are de-aged so they can double up superheroics with high school drama, which means this version of Wolverine is a full-on dad and it's great. This show also invented X-23. Also if you watched basically any anime in the 90s there are a lot of familiar voices, which makes certain scenes very jarring - Light Yagami as Nightcrawler is one of the funniest bits of dissonance. Also for new God of War fans, Magneto might sound very familiar. Quality is hit-or-miss in places - the season 1 finale is kind of laughably terrible and the show mostly pretends it didn't happen - but it has some extreme high points, mostly the Wolverine-centric episodes. Almost every conflict could be resolved immediately by Nightcrawler's powers, so unfortunately he gets knocked out at the start of nearly every fight, which circles around to being very funny after a while.

Spectacular Spider-Man

The best Spider-Man cartoon, I think! Very much a solo story - just Spider-Man alone vs his massive rogue's gallery, no other superheroes. Extremely quality banter and arcs - several villains have their origins during the series, many appearing in important roles before becoming proper supervillains. Very much an overarching-plot story, and unfortunately canceled before some of those arcs could be resolved, so it ends on a bit of a bummer, which is fairly standard stuff for Spider-Man, tbh. This is a good version of Peter, which is good, because we spend a lot of the show in his head; we get a nearly-constant inner monologue from him so we always know what he's thinking, so he'd better be likable.

#asks #not aurora #media recs

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the-far-bright-center · 10 months

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There's a fundamental disconnect between my view of Star Wars and that of, well.... the majority of the SW fandom these days. Whether this is due to lingering disdain for the Prequels (despite fandom claims of acceptance, there's still plenty of prequels-hate going around, it's just taken on a different guise) or the constant onslaught of Disney’s big-budget fanfic muddying the waters, or a combination of both, I don’t know.

But ultimately, it's quite simple. I view 'Star Wars' as the Skywalker saga...aka the six-film Lucas saga, which tells the story of Anakin Skywalker's rise, fall, and redemption. I don't personally see 'Star Wars' as some ongoing, open-ended franchise that can or even should have indefinite *canonical* additions to it. (An optional expanded universe is one thing, but additions that we, as fans, are just supposed to accept as canon without question because Disney says so is another thing entirely.) Because 'Star Wars' is not just some cinematic universe that exists for its own sake. The fact is, almost the entirety of the world-building from the Lucas-era was done in service of the story and characters of the Original Trilogy and the Prequels. The galaxy far, far away was created specifically to be the backdrop for the Skywalker saga.

So when people debate topics like ‘pro-Jedi’ vs. ‘Jedi critical’, I’m often unable to relate to the angle that these discussions take because I feel like they are largely missing the point. Story-wise, the Jedi don’t exist for their own sake, they (along with the Jedi vs. Sith struggle) are simply part of the mythic backstory of the saga. As a concept, the Jedi exist primarily to serve Anakin and Luke’s respective journeys. So, the Jedi Order of the Prequels-era is written as having become rigid and flawed because that is the necessary context for Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. And likewise, Luke bringing Anakin back to the Light through the power of love and familial bonds is what rectifies the Old Order’s failings and thus restores the Jedi to the galaxy.

That's just... the story. As in, how it was told. So when I write meta about the Prequels and Original Trilogy, and how they work together as one story, my descriptions and interpretations of both the Jedi Order and the Jedi religion (these are related but not exactly the same thing) are simply neutral in my mind. I'm just talking about what the story is trying to convey. I can't relate to this idea that we must leap to the Jedi Order's defense, nor the converse, that we must condemn the Jedi eternally for having lost their way by the time of the Twilight of the Republic. Rather, I step outside of the story for a moment, and look from the outside in to try to see what is happening from that perspective.

I'm not sure that everyone in the fandom is willing or even able to do that.

Whether that is because very few people actually appreciate the Skywalker saga as Lucas told it to begin with (many people still loudly proclaim that 'Star Wars sucks!', which leads me to believe they must not value the core story at its heart), or they have been so confused by the Disney nonsense that they think the 'new canon' has automatically overridden any meaning that once existed in the PT x OT saga...again, I don't know. I have purposefully tried very hard to stay away from any Disney-related SW discussions for years now, so this is just all what I've gleaned from glimpses here and there.

But it seems to me that many SW fans have trouble accepting that the concept of the Jedi (and the Sith) are inextricably linked to the Skywalker saga and the Skywalker saga alone. These things would never have been created in the way they were without that story. But to acknowledge this would means fans have to accept how central Anakin is to the entire thing. All of it exists for Anakin's story. There are fans who don't like this for a slew of reasons, whether it be that they became attached to a certain idea of the Jedi based on how they were portrayed in Expanded Universe stories that came out during the interim between RotJ and the release of the Prequels (stories that were largely jossed by Lucas' canon), or because they hate Anakin for in-story reasons and have never been able to accept that Star Wars is about him whether they like it or not.

It certainly doesn't help that Disney has played into this discomfort by largely ignoring Anakin (at least, until fan-demand forced their hand) or even outright denying his importance to the story as Lucas told it. (Anakin is the Chosen One whether Disney or fans want him to be or not. Being the Chosen One is not about whether he 'deserves' it, it's literally just his role in the story. And Lucas' saga simply doesn't work without Anakin in the central role.) If fans are confused and disoriented these days, I can't entirely blame them. Disney's version of SW doesn't 'match' the Lucas saga and in many places outright contradicts it. But everything can easily be made clear if people step back (and put aside the Disney stuff for a moment) and just look at the actual story being told in the PT and OT. Likewise, any debates about the Jedi can easily be resolved in the same way. It's really not about how much fans like the Jedi as a group or as individual characters, or how much fans might wish they could be a Jedi themselves. It's about the role the Jedi play in the story, and it's about acknowledging whose story it really is.

#anakin skywalker #anti-disney #the jedi religion #the jedi order #the prequels #original trilogy #pro-Lucas saga #the skywalker saga #the real skywalker saga

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cinderella-ish · 9 days

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For the Fruits Basket asks: 2, 3, 19, and 18/20 for Momiji!

Oh, yay! I'm so glad you asked! (ask game here)

2. This might be the hardest question of all, because all the characters are so richly developed and I genuinely like (almost) all of them! I have a certain soft spot for Yuki and Momiji, of course, as the characters I relate to the most, and a similar soft spot for Ayame and Arisa, because I relate to them in a way as well, though to a lesser degree.

I've been writing a lot of Kyo, Saki, and (weirdly) Hiroshi, so I feel really attached to them right now. I mean, Kyo is a character whose happiness genuinely healed me. Saki's unapologetic weirdness is just the best (and uhhh my friend group in high school had a few people who shared several traits with Saki, so I was bound to like her). And Hiroshi and Yusuke are literally the best part of every scene they're in. (Especially Hiroshi in Cinderella-ish. Seriously, his narration is top tier!)

And Machi and Kakeru have a special place in my heart, too, partly because of their roles in Yuki's development, but also because of the ways I relate to each of them. And, of course, Tohru. I mean, there's so much to say about her, but her deep, deep empathy and the richness of her arc and development are just gorgeous.

I do keep coming back to Yuki and Momiji, though. They're central to two of the scenes that I found most surprisingly powerful; Yuki when he tells Kakeru "that isn't what I want!" and Momiji in his speech to Akito, when he says "a happiness might exist for me!" Outside of the major plot points of the series (which are nearly all centered around Tohru and Kyo), these two moments are, I think, some of the most satisfying developments for any of the characters, period.

(Oops, that turned into an essay 😅)

3. If we're sticking to named characters, I think Katsuya is the only choice. I know Takaya couldn't develop every single character in the series, but Katsuya is one whose development would have enriched not only him, but Kyoko, Tohru, and Grandpa Honda as well.

I think that the Katsuya-Kyoko relationship can be read as problematic and even predatory exactly as written. It reads as romanticized because it's told from Kyoko's point of view. But Katsuya himself remains kind of an enigma, and it's just really hard to like him when we don't even know what made him think pursuing a middle schooler was okay.

19. Oh gosh. You're going to get a few long answers, I fear. 😅

I have several favorite fanworks! Off the top of my head:

Ripples, by @proseprincess

So, canon divergent AUs are probably my favorite type of fic, and I especially love fics where one canon event changes, and everything that follows changes due to something like a butterfly effect. In this two-part series, Tohru never met Kureno in the park, which changes everything that came after in a big way. I love that this tackles some massive changes to canon, yet they all feel grounded in the world and characters we all know. The second installment is incomplete, but still very worth the read IMO, not only because part 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger, but because it's just so inventive and unlike anything else I've read. Maybe my very favorite fanwork.

I'll be Standing There By You, by Eboni_A

This is a beautiful, devastating AU told from Yuki's point of view where he finds out in the final weeks of her life that Tohru has terminal cancer. We see Yuki drop everything to come and support Kyo and be with Tohru in her final weeks, we see Tohru die, and we see Kyo and Yuki (and everyone else) try to keep going afterward. It's heartbreaking yet hopeful, and the author made relatively recent comments about a potential sequel! Fingers crossed!

Inertia, by miss_coverly @lesbian-kyoru

This is another canon divergent AU where Kyo and Tohru become friends with benefits before the curse breaks. It's honestly shocking how beautiful this work is. The prose is gorgeous, the angst is dialed all the way up, the sexual tension is dialed even higher, the characterization is crystal clear, it's honestly a masterclass in POV, the sex is sexy, and I could go on and on. I never thought a blowjob scene would make me cry, yet it did.

The Pursuit of Repeating History, by RiddleAfar @mistergrass

So, when I first started reading fanfiction, I stuck strictly with canon-compliant works. Then, I dipped my toes into canon divergence AUs like those above, but I heavily resisted reading anything with alternative pairings.

Then, I got curious about that one really popular Yuki/Kyo soulmates AU fic, and gave it a read. By the end of the first chapter, I couldn't put it down. And when I was finished reading, I knew I had to check out everything else by that author, which is how I ended up reading The Pursuit of Repeating History.

This story honestly showed me the power of fanfiction. The author legit crafted lore for the Fruits Basket universe. And the "lore" chapters (I think they're referred to as "intermissions") are each beautifully-told stories in their own right. But the author also grappled with how the curse might work, and I think they did an incredible job. I'm actually rereading this beast right now!

We'll Work it Out Together, by inheritanceofgeek @mrsmarymorstan

Okay, I'm a sucker for anything with lots of Hiroshi and Yusuke, and this story is probably the most Hiroshi-and-Yusuke-focused story on Ao3. (Probably worth mentioning the author's sideblog, @2d-iendfrays which is an absolute treasure!) In it, Kyo figures out he's asexual, then figures out he's demisexual, all with the help of his two wholesome buds.

Like almost all the authors on this list, inheritanceofgeek has some other really fantastic works that are worth checking out, from sexual humor to Yuki/Machi smut to a touching piece about new parenthood.

How Can I Thank You, by SharkFairy77

Another brilliant Yuki/Kyo piece, in which Yuki hosts Kakeru and Komaki for dinner (at the apartment he shares with Kyo), and at the last minute, Kakeru asks if Machi can come. (Machi is Yuki's ex in this universe)

The piece starts with dinner prep, and then dinner, and the character writing is just incredibly spot on. I loved the arc of the story through the dinner, and the way Kyo and Machi come to an understanding.

But then, we get into some A+ YukiKyo smut.

I'll Be Here, by Blanche2023 @biancanekoyokai

(Full disclosure - I beta read this work!)

This is a very sweet and sad piece about Kyo's first few days in Kazuma's care after his mother's death. Blanche's characterization is outstanding, and she handles tricky things (like writing a young Akito who's also performing head-of-the-family duties) in a really clever way.

I don't think there's enough pre-canon fic out there, nor enough gen fic, and this piece is just beautiful.

Escaping the future, by Modzy78

I really love the way Modzy78 thinks about the Fruits Basket universe, and her take on the canon-divergence of "what if Tohru never confessed to Kyo" is inventive, suspenseful, fluffy, and just such a fun read! I also really love her other canon divergent AU Cursing the Cursed. And Modzy78 is honestly a superhero for the fandom.

The Talk, by Geoduck @drgeoduck

Honestly, Geoduck has a ton of works you should read, but I'll mention this one because it's probably the funniest thing I've ever read. And then it somehow gets even funnier!

The Ones Who Walk Away From Sohma House, also by Geoduck

If you're a fan of Ursula K. Leguin (my very favorite author!), then you are probably familiar with her famous short story, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, and this short fic is an absolute must-read.

no one is lost, by emphasis

Momiji bumps into Ritsu in a gay bar. Not a pairing I ever imagined, but an excellent fic that puts Momiji in the position of "elder queer" to Ritsu. (Honestly, I wish there were more Momiji-as-elder-queer fics!)

Some other favorites:

The Night We Met, by pettyimperfections

Hold On, by Danyu

Heart Strain, by Kitty0430

I think about you all the time, by lucybeee @riceballcatfb (incomplete)

Making Nice, by Itsalreadyhalloweenright @riza-rin-rose (incomplete)

What's a White Lie Between Friends (& My Family)? by AnxietyAvocado

My Hands on You is Just a Fantasy, by unscheduledmakeouts

This Air is Blessed, by KyoDoodles

Please, Let Her Live, by @goldfishoflove

And that isn't even touching the dozens of phenomenal Yukeru fics! Just a small selection of Yukeru favorites:

fit back in, by @luftballons99

woebegone, by a-bigail @yunsoh

The Other Side of Paradise, by reconquer @yukisohmasmokesweed

If I Ever Feel Better, also by reconquer

if i do anything i regret tonight, no i didn't, by sacrificialParsnip (another fic where Momiji is an elder queer!)

i wanna be dyed with your colors, by halfhope

Like Fireworks in the Night Sky, by Princely_Hairdos (incomplete, currently being updated!)

President Perfect, by draebelle

tongue tied, by b_o_i (note: heed the warnings!)

And if you're familiar with OnigiriCat4Ever's canon continuation series, Always and Forever, some of my favorite works from that series include My Brother, Truth and Consequences, You Don't Understand, I Want to Understand, and all of their smut (collected in a separate series called Tohru and Kyo's Amorous Adventures, plus one explicit Hajime/Mutsuki fic).

And, of course, I'm really proud of my longfic, Bloom Within Us, and wrote it because it's the sort of thing I'd want to read. It's currently in progress, and I took a break from writing due to a family emergency, but I'm back at it and hope to start regular posting within a month.

uhhhh so I think I'll have to make my Momiji headcanons another post (hopefully tomorrow) because this got long! 😅 Thank you again for asking!

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jennandblitz · 1 year

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Borderline!Sirius Black

I’ve been meaning to write a post about Borderline Sirius for the longest time, but this is partly inspired by my posting a snippet of a BPD!Sirius fic a while ago and the fact I’ve had this headcanon for over two years now. My Sirius is often written as being Borderline, whether explicit or not. Borderline Sirius is something I’ve become increasingly attached to recently. The more I look at his personality and actions in canon, the more I can see him attached to the criteria of BPD/EUPD. A lot of my feelings about Sirius are from my own personal canon, especially during the First War where the pressure pot of existential dread is an untold stress on all members of the Order, but I think especially Sirius struggled under this pressure due to his personality disorder.

I think the easiest and most structured way to talk about Sirius’ Borderline—which is a complex and deep set of characteristics rooted in trauma and a consistently disrupted childhood, as all Borderline is—is through the diagnostic criteria from the DSM V. To be diagnosed with BPD, one needs to show at least five of the criteria. For ease of reading and to avoid a 3k word text post, I’m going to expand on the ones I think Sirius shows the most and leave others as a few lines.

This should go without saying but here we are, these opinions are my own and do not invalidate or disprove any other headcanons anyone else may have—everyone’s Sirius and their interpretations of him are all valid! If you don’t like my headcanons, DNI and move on!

A note on Bipolar Disorder v Borderline Personality Disorder: I’ve seen both use the same acronym and for ease I’ve taken to saying Borderline rather than BPD, or using the new acronym of EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). This post is also partly inspired by seeing @soloorganaas’ posts on Bipolar Sirius on my dash in that we need more psychological deep-dives into these characters, looking at their mental illnesses and neurodivergencies outwith canon. That is to say I love Natasha’s posts on Bipolar Sirius and you should all go and read them! Bipolar and Borderline aren’t mutually exclusive and, of course all headcanons exist at once, but in my own experience both Bipolar and Borderline have many overlaps, especially in Sirius’ character.

If you have things you want to add to this post, please feel free to reblog. Though I would kindly discourage any Borderline-bashing, if you have nothing nice to add, DNI. My dream would be to open a discussion about Borderline Sirius and other Black family members who we may headcanon as having BPD—because let’s be real, it’s a family heirloom.

***

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

I think this is the most painful thing to think about because of all the abandonment Sirius has suffered throughout canon. What I think of first are the two-way mirrors; Sirius and James are so very intertwined that they want the ability to communicate at any given moment, even during school. Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment can be demonstrated in several ways, both in clinging to the person, or abandoning the person first in order to paradoxically avoid the hurt of eventual abandonment. I think this is part of Sirius’ reaction during OotP, when he pulls away from everyone due to their perceived abandonment of him—he is alone in the house of his childhood and his friends are leaving to go and do the work he wishes he could do.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

For me, this is the peak of explaining Sirius’ behaviour throughout canon.

I hesitate to call it the Prank because that word isn’t used during canon at all, but for ease of understanding, I will. Borderline patients can have episodes of hypomania, and I do think an episode of mania contributed to Sirius’ actions here, but I also think Sirius split on Remus—ie, his perception of Remus switched from idealised to demonised and devalued. This could be over something so seemingly trivial to an outsider, even something like choosing to sit next to James and not Sirius at the dinner table, or not replying to a note Sirius passed to him. I can see Remus doing something that makes Sirius devalue him to the point of Sirius not seeing how the following events will affect his friend and he sends Snape to the Shack in a moment of impulsivity (more on that later), without truly being cognisant of the consequences of his actions, because he, in that moment, did not see Remus as a person of value.

He absolutely idealises and idolises James Potter (he is Sirius’ Favourite Person—something I could write a whole other post on) and Sirius’ idealisation blinds him to any more sensible actions especially regarding the Fidelius charm. He will go above and beyond to protect James and his family by extension. Peter, and also Remus, are so idealised by Sirius that they are able to do no wrong—perhaps this is why Sirius is able to overlook any slight clues as to Peter’s true allegiances and entrust him as the Secret Keeper.

Harry, by extension, is hugely idealised by his Godfather. Sirius believes he is perfect and that Harry can accomplish anything. When Harry sends his letter in GoF saying his scar hurts, Sirius immediately flies back to protect him, and also breaks into a Wizarding house to use the fire to communicate with Harry. Harry is not above being devalued by Sirius, however: in the Floo-call in OotP, Sirius tells Harry ‘you’re less like your father than I thought’, and to me it’s clear in that moment that Sirius sees Harry as having fundamentally missed the bar of high standards Sirius holds him to.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

As we know, Sirius was the first Black not to be sorted into Slytherin. I think part of that comes from Sirius’ unstable sense of self, which, according to several studies, comes from the inability to integrate positive and negative traits. Sirius was simultaneously idealised by his parents and family as the scion of the House Black, and then, when he began to not meet their standards, was devalued as a blood traitor. I believe that Sirius developed some dissatisfaction with his life before he was sorted into Gryffindor, which was only heightened by his sorting and then devaluation by his family. This gives Sirius a markedly disturbed sense of self, which I think we can see during PoA where Sirius’ entire personality becomes getting revenge on Peter, then swiftly switches to being Harry’s Godfather once Peter has been caught.

4. Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging. (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Sirius’ recklessness is well characterised in canon, imo. Simply put, he spends recklessly—the Firebolt for Harry—and we are well aware of his substance abuse during OotP. We see his recklessness during PoA also, where he comes to Hogwarts despite knowing that there are Dementors and Aurors looking for him, because he wants to find Peter. He also breaks into a Wizarding house during GoF in order to Floo-call Harry, which obviously could potentially end badly.

As above, I also think The Prank is a symptom of Sirius’ impulsivity. Borderlines often say and do things in the heat of those splitting moments which can be self-damaging in more than the physical ways listed above, such as ending friendships or starting arguments, and I do think the Prank is damaging to Sirius’ view of himself, his position within the friend group of the Marauders and especially his view in James’ eyes, regardless of whether the Marauders forgave Sirius quickly or not.

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

Okay, this isn’t explicit in canon, but I do think Sirius’ actions at the Department of Mysteries are part and parcel of his suicidal ideation. This passive devaluation of his own life leads him to put himself in danger for Harry—who becomes his FP in James’ absence—and his recklessness goes beyond the above criteria. His escape from Azkaban in PoA is similarly reckless. No one has escaped Azkaban yet Sirius, who has spent twelve years punishing himself for the death of his FP, is willing to try, such that he values his life so little.

Admittedly, this criteria is also largely based around my own headcanons especially during the First War. I believe Sirius’ recklessness with his own life is marked during this time, especially if anything should happen to the other Marauders, Sirius’ internal monologue may often turn to suicidal ideation.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Ooh, this is a big one. I instantly think of Sirius’ immediate, marked happiness when Harry says he would like to come and live with him at the end of PoA—everything else is immediately unimportant when Sirius’ Godson (and Favourite Person) is talking to him. When Harry first arrives at Grimmauld Place in OotP, Sirius is jovial if a little concerned about Harry, but playful nonetheless. This changes very abruptly when Molly raises concerns about Harry being brought up to speed about Voldemort. We also see Sirius in a depressive state when he is told not to accompany Harry to his hearing.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

How else would he survive the emptiness of Azkaban if he didn’t already know how that emptiness felt? Welp, I’m giving myself feelings.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

*gestures vaguely at the whole Shrieking Shack scene*

Beyond that, Sirius’ fury during OotP when he and Molly argue is also important here. I want to note also the difference between hot anger and cold anger, in that I think Sirius is very much feeling cold anger in this moment when he is arguing with Molly. Although I largely headcanon Sirius as experiencing a lot of ‘hot’ anger—that is to say, shouting and yelling, red-faced and furious—especially during the First War, I do think that being in Grimmauld Place in OotP makes Sirius lean towards ‘cold’ anger—more calculating, more biting and sharp—like his anger when Harry questions him about the Family Tree and when he and Snape argue over Harry’s Occlumency lessons. Perhaps we don’t see ‘hot’ anger from Sirius often during OotP, but we do see plenty of ‘cold’ anger from him, as well as a healthy dose of resentment and bitterness.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Sirius’ actions and reactions in OotP are classic, imo, dissociative symptoms, specifically being back in the house where large amounts of his childhood trauma and the seat of his personality disorder took root.

***

Overall, I think looking at our favourite characters through these psychological lenses really changes how we interact with them, both in canon and fandom settings. There are so many great takes about what it means for these characters to be neurodivergent in many different ways, and I’m sure there is a whole host more to say about Sirius’ mental health, whether he be Borderline or not, that I won’t cover here because this is going to be over 2k words.

If you made it to the end, I salute you! Thank you for listening to me ramble about Borderline!Sirius and how dear he is to me! 🖤

#borderline Sirius Black #Sirius Black #sirius #hp meta #hp #harry potter #house of black #bpd sirius #bpd!Sirius #Borderline!Sirius #borderline sirius

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