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#but i love them all so bad for different reasons
ramons-elevator · 3 days
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After all everything that happened yesterday, my heart aches. I watched Bads VOD because i couldnt at the time and bawled my eyes out when he read Pommes letter
And if you are in the same boat, i need you to remember something.
Even though this year so far was really rough for the QSMP, please please please remember that this server was built on love and survived because of all the love that was put into it
Quackity wanted to bring his english speaking friends and spanish speaking friends together because he loves them both
He wanted to add as many languages as he could because he wanted as many people as possible to see how amazing different people cultures are
The eggs were only supposed to be a short event but lasted for over a fucking year because the community and the CCs loved them so much
So many defense and safety things came into play, like TTT or the Ninho, because the Ccs loved their kids so much
Pac e Mike/the brazilians started the trend of making cultural events because they wanted everyone to experience what they do in their culture and show how amazing it is
People logged on everyday to take care of their egg and just to hang out with their friends
CCs met up IRL and flew to places they had never been before because they love each other and wanted to spend time with each other
People like Foolish, Bad, Cellbit, Roier, Philza, Fit, Bagi and more started to learn Spanish, Portuguese, French, and German because of their eggs and wanted to communicate with each other more. Hell, I started learning Portuguese because i wanted to understand Cellbit and Tazercraft more
This server was built on love and survived because of the months and months of love that got put into it
Please never forget that love. Keep creating fanart, fanfics, cosplays, etc.
Ill never forget what this server and eggies did to my life. I never wanna stop learning different languages because of this server.
Love is the reason this server exists and its the reason it will never die <3
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akanemnon · 2 days
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What’s your opinion of Chara? I know the community is pretty split on if they were a good person or not and I’m curious of your stance on them and if it influenced the next chapter for their backstory
Also gotta say, love the comic. Keep doing cool things!
I said it before, but to me, Chara is a complicated person. Neither good, nor bad. Just morally grey. A kid who has been implied to have come from a very bad place with people who haven't been very kind to them. Arguably the very reason why they hated humanity. They got to experience the worst of it. Probably the first ever time they legitamitely experienced real love and kindness has been from Asriel's family. That honestly must have been very confusing for them. If you don't get to experience these kinda things, it is hard for you to properly process them later on in life. Not to say that they didn't love their new family. They absolutely did. Otherwise they wouldn't have been so willing to sacrifice themself without question for monsterkind. But their way to go about it, and the way they acted with Asriel was possibly just something they carried within themself from their old life. You adapt to your surroundings in order to survive and fit in. But in the same vein old habits die hard.
That is at least their characterization for Twin Runes. Everyone has a different stance on the matter, after all.
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hamcakevaletguy · 3 days
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My thoughts on the Damien situation, from the POV of someone who’s relatively uninvolved with posting on social media:
As a newer fan of Smosh myself (I watched some videos in 2012, but haven’t really kept up since, and only started regularly watching the last year or so), I went through the backlog of content that they have because I enjoyed their more recent videos. Zayna, a newer Palestinian fan, did the same and found this joke in an old TNTL disappointing and wanted him to address it firsthand and make his stance clear.
For anyone saying Damien has already made it clear that he is in support of Palestine: it’s not a given that the fan who brought up the clip would have already known about Damien’s stance on Palestine. Yes, he’s talked about it in a couple of his streams and posted Insta stories about it, but a newer fan of Smosh, not necessarily Damien himself, wouldn’t know about those unless they were looking for it because they are:
temporary (IG stories only have a lifespan of 24 hours unless you take screenshots) or
a few minutes hidden under several hours of game streams on a separate platform (he talked about Palestine several months ago and has streamed a lot since, unless you know the specific Twitch stream and the timestamp when he talked about it or had clips of it, most casual fans wouldn’t know either)
In his defense, Damien himself has recently said that more fandom stuff has reached his timeline than he would like, so maybe he thinks more people know about his activism because of that. However, even if Zayna did know, wanting a straightforward statement apologizing for the insensitive joke (because bringing up the "Israeli-Palestinian conflict" [as it was called back in 2019, not accurate to what has been going on for 70+ years and counting, which is an ethnic cleansing] for shock value, as he himself said, is insensitive) is not an unreasonable request.
More under the cut
When all you have is 240 characters per reply, the things that you do choose to say matter even more. When you parse out everything in Damien's replies, he doesn't come out looking too good. Yes, he did apologize for the original joke. In his replies, he said:
using it as shock value was in poor taste and naive of him,
it was in poor taste back in 2019 and he wouldn't make it now
(in response to his first couple of replies) he is sorry for reacting in frustration and he'll learn from it,
and, in his final reply, his parting words were "With all my heart, I hope for safety for your loved ones. Be well."
However, he also says and does things that undermine his apology in the same replies:
questioning why the clip was brought up in the first place, as if bringing up old content wasn't something fans regularly do with things they're interested about and as if it's not still a public video fans can easily find,
bringing up that the fan in question had 19K followers, a fraction of the followers he has as a public figure,
saying that this conversation could have been done in private, as if an initial DM request wouldn't be buried in his other requests as a public figure, and as if he doesn't have the capability to start a DM himself to clarify things after the initial reply/post,
saying that the original tweets tagging him should have been deleted after his first response when he never asked for that, and just assumed it would happen for some reason,
deleting his replies a couple of hours later,
and blocking Zayna and several others who were only interacting with Damien through quote tweets (I'm not sure how quote tweets work, do they notify the OP?), some who don't even say anything remotely critical of him - in his defense, blocking is not inherently a bad thing, it just means that he doesn't want any further interactions from them for whatever reason. However, silencing any Palestinian voice isn't good, to say the least.
Damien has always been a proponent of “trying to understand and see from different perspectives” so his response here surprised me, personally. I get that he has a fear of being misunderstood, but jumping to the conclusion that the other party is purposefully trying to be incendiary is the opposite of that.
I'm not going to try to make excuses for him. He knows better. He's been a content creator for years. He knows he has more influence than any normal fan would. His autism is not a part of this conversation either. Mental illness is an explanation for behavior, it doesn't absolve you of the consequences of it. If you're citing Damien's autism as an excuse for his behavior, you have to also account for Zayna's autism.
People are also bringing up the possibility of Damien getting death threats as a result of this, which we have no proof of and won't have proof of unless Damien himself decides to disclose that. He has only stated that he is taking a social media break, which has been a long time coming, not necessarily only because of this, because he has been busy and tired in recent months. What we do know has happened is that Zayna has received death threats (weird of people to want the death of a Palestinian when the original argument they're defending Damien for is that he is in support of Palestinian liberation).
This isn’t an issue of cancel culture, it’s an issue of accountability and frankly, hero worship of Damien in the part of people attacking Zayna and other people on Twitter.
When the only people who had spoken about their support of Palestine in their own words, however briefly, are two or three cast members, some people are naturally going to put them on pedestals. This hero worship of Damien has been exacerbated by his image as the most politically correct member of Smosh, and Smosh’s (until recently) silence about the issue.
While we're at it, for people saying Smosh's sudden outward support for Palestine and joining Creators for Palestine is in response to backlash about Damien, or only in response to the block list going around:
It's only been a few days since the Damien's whole ordeal. Smosh is not that fast, and historically, their response to backlash would have been either complete radio silence or unlisting or privating the TNTL that the clip is from, combined with silence.
I’m sure Shayne, Ian and Courtney have been working on it for more than a few days, based on their liked posts, to get everything straightened out with the organization themselves and adding their names to the list of creators.
People have been asking for Smosh to be more public about their views on Palestine. Some of the cast members have said their piece on their personal social media, but their views could have changed. Those posts were made shortly after the events of October 7 brought even more media attention on Palestine and the Gaza Strip, which was not necessarily in favor of Palestine because of the effects of U.S. propaganda. It's been several months since then and people have a lot more information now, and more clarity.
Up until now, the only indication of Palestinian support not from social media is a brief statement from Ian who said something along the lines of "travel watermelon", while they were talking about their rejected roasts during Anthony's Funeral After Show in December, which are codewords that were used in TikTok for Free Palestine. However, this is heavily censored, behind a paywall, and temporary, because of the nature of their live shows. This support of CFP is the bare minimum of what Smosh could do, but the bare minimum is more than they were doing before.
They listed Smosh as the name under their $15,000 donation to CFP, not just Shayne, Courtney and Ian, which could be intentional, referring to Smosh as a whole company, or just referring to the three that have posted about it as a collective. Unless Smosh makes a full statement about it, themselves, it's still up in the air.
The timing of it is unfortunate. Damien has been silent about it so far, making his original posts about Palestine seem performative to some. However, it’s only been a few hours and he is on a social media break. The only thing he has briefly gone back online for is to promote something he's doing with Nintendo, which he could have been contractually obligated to do. He may or may not say something when he fully comes back from his social media break, but for now, that's everything we know. People can make their own conclusions based on all of this.
I am being very intentional with every single word I say on here, as to not be misconstrued in any way, however, if I missed anything or anyone else has anything to add (constructively, like images of either the actual conversation had by Damien and Zayna, or the cast and crew's support of Palestine prior to CFP, not outright anger and disagreement), please do. If anyone has any genuine questions about the situation, please feel free to message me directly and not bring it into this post, which is supposed to be a civil discussion surrounding more facts and events, less speculation. If I feel those questions have relevant points to add on here, I will add on in reblogs.
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Time to be delulu yet completely serious on my bnha 423 opinions.
Good points: The resolution between AFO and Yoichi was satisfactory, love as a reason for evil and evil deeds, the rooftop trio having one final moment full of emotion, the moment of Kurogiri thinking about Tomura and the LOV, Deku having a quirk of his own born out of determination and hard work, Deku as the protagonist of bnha in general, Tomura's last actions and words.
Bad points: Rushed arc conclusions, moments that felt kinda repetitive or lacked the punch given that we've seen/lived them before, not the best compositions we've seen from Horikoshi on the panels, Tomura's arc being rushed to a martyr ending— for impact???? ( or it ending on another cliffhanger that is gonna turn to be different from what we expected ).
I'll go in depth, so please check under the cut.
GOOD POINTS:
Yoichi and AFO:
The last conversation among these brothers was everything I was expecting. The love was there and it transformed them. It made AFO a monster and Yoichi a ghost.
For me, this time the AFO ending needed to be quick because we've already said goodbye to him too many times. This was supposed to be about AFO's refusal to give up on his brother and the unresolved relationship of those two.
I really liked how Yoichi reminded AFO that he needs to face the consequences of his actions and that he's love won't be able to save them.
Villain love:
Love as a reason for pain and destruction is perhaps one of my favorite tropes. So many stories approach love as this purely morally good feeling, when in the end it is just like any other feeling, you know?
People go to war for love all the time. They kill for love. Die for love. Do unforgivable things for love. Human existence is sooooo complex, why would love be the exception?
Horikoshi has been REALLY careful with the AFO backstory and his motivations. He didn't want an antagonist that felt empty. He made AFO human without redeeming him, okay? Because our ability to sympathize with some of AFO's traits doesn't make him less evil. To put it simply, it means that evil things are also human at heart.
Even those acts that you can't forgive or forget are motivated by something.
Kurogiri and the rooftop trio:
We knew from the beginning they were not the main characters of this manga.
We've gotten their story through glimpses and moments. Their time together had always been somehow rushed. Too many things to say, not enough time and they are on opposite sides of the war after all.
We knew that Kurogiri would go back because we knew he would protect Tomura during the final fight. We knew that he'd help the heroes defeat AFO. We knew he'd have to make his choice and say his goodbyes to his old friends.
Kurogiri, Tomura and the LOV
"He's friends are waiting" along with the image of Spinner asking Kurogiri to bring Tomura back to them was the highlight of this chapter for me. (You all expected it, right?)
Something about the way it reads like a father who wants his son to live because he is being waited for. He has friends who love him and would do anything to protect him, see him safe and sound. Something about the symbolism of Spinner putting Father (aka Kotaro's hand) on Kurogiri's face as he asked for it.
This chapter acknowledged that Kurogiri and Shirakumo share the same character core. They are always the protectors, the ones who would sacrifice themselves to see their charge survive. Similar to how Mic was waiting for Shouta so Shirakumo made sure that Shouta would survive, Kurogiri wants to do the same for Spinner and Tomura.
This alone would require an entire post to elaborate.
Deku's quirk:
The debate between endgame quirkless Deku or endgame OFA user Deku is settle.
I really liked that Deku got a quirk on his own that was born out of his own determination to be a hero. It's a nice representation of all he is as a character and what he stands for. Similarly, I enjoyed a lot the fact that it was short-lived. I'm the type who likes it better when things require a sacrifice or when miracles have their own conditions.
Deku doesn't feel overpowered to me. You get that sense that he really deserves everything he has and that it hasn't been a nonsense gift from the narrative. There's also the human condition, the limitations that keep him grounded.
Bnha and Deku:
Deku defeating AFO 'cause villains and heroes help him, his friends being there for him and being there to cheer for him as he fights, his sensei being there despite the fact that Aizawa at first thought Deku wouldn't make it— all the details that make bnha what it is.
They were good.
The UA kids really keep the story consistent when it is about them. They don't give up on anyone, they fight for each other, they stay to witness things for themselves. I love them <3
Tomura's last actions and words:
Careful here. Listen to what I'm saying.
If the narrative had pointed out to this ending, this would have been a good way to execute it.
Tomura coming back along with the vestiges to pack one final punch to defeat AFO— I know many fans that would be moved to tears and would be super excited to see it. Tomura was on point in this chapter, dialoguing with Deku without the hatred in his heart, his face being clearer and almost tender.
He felt defeated, like he had accepted his death already. There's also the connection to Kurogiri and Nana (who defended him) and his words to Spinner, that are meant as a general message to depict how much Tomura values the LOV.
Even the fact that AFO kept him around 'cause a part of him loved / cared about Tomura feels fitting, but I'm not sure if I correctly read the leaks in that part...
Anyway, we got the old trope of the antagonist who used his last moments to help defeat the real villain. It serves as his redemption and the expectation is for the public to feel sorry bad for him.
BAD POINTS
Rushed conclusions:
In my opinion, this chapter was too fast paced and therefore was not as emotional as it should have been.
It doesn't give the feeling that it's fast because the battle is intense. It gives the feeling of too much information packed on one chapter, so nothing really shines on its own. It's way too informative, not enough action narration.
Like I said before, the fatal mistake of a story is to be boring. Art has to provoke you, it has to engage with you, question you, awake things in you. This chapter tho, many things happened at the same time and it grew a bit murky.
Repetitive moments
Again, personal opinion here.
I think certain bnha movies were a mistake. Not because they were bad or boring or whatever, but because Horikoshi wrote parts of bnha real ending into them to the point you'd say "we've already seen that" while reading bnha 423.
Deku and Bakugo teaming up to defeat AFO was so expected. Not as in "the narrative is making sense", but as in "we saw it on heroes rising".
I feel the same with the students all appearing to help Deku fight AFO. That's a typical shonen structure where the friends making space for the protagonist to reach the main villain. It was already happening, so why bring AFO back?? I think the story is over-explaining here, making everything way too obvious. We could have had AFO's resolution with Yoichi before and the students moment after. In truth, it feels like Horikoshi closed some character arcs before he should and left plot holes without explanation, so he needed to reopen to accommodate.
Panel composition:
I admire Horikoshi when it comes to panel composition. He has some amazing panels that make the story really flow, but bnha 423 isn't there.
There are too many elements clustered and empty spaces that don't feel with purpose (in manga, even the blanks must have a purpose). This chapter should have been at least two, so you wouldn't have to rush Bakugo appearing, Yoichi and AFO resolution, Kurogiri saying his goodbye to the rooftop trio and facing AFO for Tomura's sake, Deku remembering where he started and where he is, Tomura last words and the Tomura and Deku resolution...
Those are too many important plot points to illustrate in a hurry.
Also?? The panel of Tomura and Deku punching AFO is so unserious. Totally wrong place to be funny sjbdjdnd why does it even feel like the vestiges are punching air???
" Tomura's ending " :
I'm not the first to say it feels anticlimactic and as if it isn't the ending at all.
The major problem is that through the manga, Horikoshi has focused a lot on Tomura as a character, carefully developing him, giving him tropes that are often reserved for the hero or the main character, making sure we empathize with him, we understand him, hyping up Deku's journey to rescue him.
We got an entire arc from the LOV perspective. This is not the type of one sentence ending you give to an antagonist you spent so much ink and sweat on. The nonchalant way of Tomura accepting his death? The little reaction from Deku? What was the purpose of the manga building up the LOV friendship to the moment where Kurogiri told AFO that Tomura's friends were waiting for him, if you'd make him just disappear on thin air?
This reads absolutely like a bunny within a hat.
That's being optimistic.
If we want to be cynical, maybe this is all there is. I don't find it readable to end the story with Tomura dying. All that effort to save him and it ends in "oh well, he decayed along with AFO"?!
If you think about it, Toga status is unknown because we don't even know where she went or if she's still alive, Touya status is also unknown although we know he wanted to live and that the ice prevented him from further damage, we haven't seen Spinner, we don't know if Kurogiri vanished with that last attack on AFO and now we saw Tomura decaying into the wind.
Yo kill half the surviving LOV would be a bold move that wouldn't follow the narrative. The reward for the hero students should be being able to save their counterpart, so the world can regard them as the greatest heroes 'cause they save the unsalable and blah blah blah.
There's also the fact Tomura hasn't been saved yet. Tenko? Nana and Deku saved him from Kotaro. The crying kid? Saved from AFO by Deku and the vestiges and the others. Tomura? Nop, he's dying/dead. The one person Spinner really wanted to save was Tomura. He didn't know about the crying kid or Tenko. He wanted to save his friend, the "irredeemable" villain, the young man he played videogames with and fought alongside and vowed to follow.
If this is the end, it's incomplete.
So we might hope it is not the end.
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ghcstao3 · 3 days
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Hi please keep rambling about your DBH AU it’s so well written and amazing! I love the characterisations of everyone and how you handled their relationships there in. My favourite part was Ghost thinking he’s a coward but he’s not he’s just been so badly hurt and when everyone learns about his past they don’t blame him for trying to protect himself they actually try and comfort him 😭 god damn that made me cry
Anyway it wouldn’t be annoying at all it’s obvious by the care and effort you put into writing it that you love this au.
apparently i am. a liar. but i still have a few thoughts about this AU
separating it into two parts:
misc:
- soap used to be a child caretaker android. he still keeps contact with the family, who have always treated him like one of their own
- for that reason also, he was somewhat eased into deviancy. he never even realized it first, because he’d always been happy as is—it was the sense of purpose that ticked him off, the want to try something new and completely different to what he’d always known
- ghost has heterochromia essentially for the same reason as markus (optics damage)
- ghost doesn’t remember much prior to his deviancy. roba erased a lot of memories, and sometimes he still experiences minor memory loss here and there, if it’s something from years prior. those pieces are still stored somewhere, but ghost has never bothered to go searching
post-reveal:
- soap is the only individual other than himself that ghost trusts to do repairs. even still he’s reluctant, at first, only letting soap help with the parts he can’t reach, but eventually even the simplest fixes he has soap work on
- unfortunately ghost isn’t given much of a choice but to reveal himself to the team about a year later, when he’s injured and price and gaz get a scare out of soap tearing ghost open to fix the worst of the damage and at least have him functional until they could get parts
- (it’s just a bit traumatic to watch your sergeant open your lieutenant’s chest. just a little)
- ghost still pretends like he isn’t an android around them, however. it’s how he’s acted forever now and it’s a difficult habit to quit—may not even be possible to quit. they wouldn’t treat him any differently, though, and he realizes that now with a slight guilt
- going back to soap’s ‘family’, he even goes so far as to bring ghost home to them, like he’s seen and read in movies and books. they’re more than happy to meet ghost and welcome him into their home—a glimpse of kindness ghost seldom sees, so he decides that they’re not so bad (meaning he memorizes every detail of their lives and interests, just so he can know the people who cared for soap in return for his service)
- both ghost and soap’s white casing are very scuffed and scratched, but if you look closely at their wrists, you may find one another’s initials etched into the plastic
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11rosebunny · 1 day
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Thank the heavens I found your blog! after getting into the wind breaker anime and currently reading manga. I am starved for wind breaker reader content until I found you. If possible can I request hayato suo relationship/boyfriend headcannons? Oh it would make my day and all the suo lovers days as well
Thank you.
—For some reason, Suo has been hot on my requests on Tumblr へ[ ᴼ ▃ ᴼ ]_/¯ !!
Hayato Suo as your boyfriend (DRABBLE)
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In the past, Hayato was able to score very well with many girls that were his age and some even above his age that managed to fall for him. But, he has never dated anyone. However, he doesn’t see himself as inexperienced.
From the get-go, he’s learned how to act right which probably resulted in him getting many girls to like him. Even so, under his nice exterior, he’s an extremely hard person that falls in love. The only reason why you were able to date him out of all of the people he has rejected, was because you’ve known him the longest.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you for who you are—if anything, his infatuated with your personality and the way you look up at him with those damning eyes (although sometimes, he questions some of things you say and wonders if they should be studied or not). Before he knew it, he started to fall for you without even knowing.
It was easy when you first started dating him, he still treats you like how he always has but soon grew more intimate and touchier with you. Before in the past you two were strictly friends. Even though the both of you have been going to each other’s houses for the longest time, neither of you had made a move until the moment you started dating. He didn’t start touching you back then out of respect and not wanting to make things weird, so when the both of you held hands for the first time, you caught a glimpse of his ears going red which was something you’ve never seen before.
He continued speaking to you in the same chaotic manner you’ve always known, while from time to time sneaking in little compliments and caressing the flesh of your skin with the most subtle touches.
In the morning and nights, he used to text you when he’s going to bed and telling you goodnight before sleeping. That changed when you two switched to calling more often. Aside from the beginning of the relationship, you two got close fairly quick—after all, you’ve known each other since forever.
Quickly, he’s not shy when holding your hand and communicating with you about any problems that occur in your relationship. He ends up solving them in a few hours or a day, he doesn’t like dragging the situation on and will force you to speak out even if you struggle with communicating. If you’re the type of person that gives the cold shoulder, he will not let you do so and won’t stop bothering you until you give a proper answer.
Honestly it’s amazing he’s able to put up with your petty behaviour. Nirei had witnessed it first hand when the Suo had gotten a call from you and watched the two of you argue through the phone. He stepped away for a few minutes before returning back to the blonde-haired boy with the same smile that lets him know everything is okay.
Because of how unhinged he is, typically speaking—he’s the first one to make nearly all of the moves. He was the one that stole your first kiss. That day was surreal to you. The way he took you out skating for the first time and held hands on the rink, then going on to bringing you to dinner and finally ending the day off with a sweet, warm kiss that engulfed your mind when he kissed you in the dead of night underneath a streetlight lamp as the snow fell down within every second he kept his lips on yours.
Soon after, many of your dates were usually spending time outside together. He’s not much of an indoor person and likes to walk to different places with you all over town. The only time he will do an indoor date is if the weather is bad or one of you got sick.
Even with how nice Suo can portray himself as, somethings he does have is a little risky side of him that loves to tease you. It’s a secret though, he loves to make a fool out of the people he fights and watch them crumble, so it’s no wonder why he loves it when you’re all shy around him. Moments like this, when he’s needy and just generally carving his girlfriend, he likes to go into your personal space, place you on his lap if you’re watching a show with him, plaster open mouthed kisses on your neck and shoulders all while acting oblivious as to why you’re red.
Whenever he sees something in public that reminds him of you, he buys it immediately and gives it to you the next time he sees you again. The first time he did this it was a keychain of your favourite food then it slowly turned into random stickers, pencils, clothing wear, and jewelry. He likes to spoil you without even knowing himself. You have to remind him that he paid last time when you went out to eat meaning it’s your turn to return the favour. But even so, he tells you to put your cash away and let him pay again.
Once dating you for long enough, he never grows tired of your diabolical personality and is glad you put with his chaotic behaviour.
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deathsbestgirl · 2 days
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So Never Again. Just saw this post and the way she looks up at him there is on a level with Mulder’s famous Fallen Angel eyes and his reaction to her? He doesn't melt? He chooses violence and being a dick? Please tell me why.
i LOVE this question because it is so easy to see it from scully's perspective. it's her episode. but you really have to think about mulder's perspective.
for mulder, this seems out of nowhere, and in his mind she was extremely inattentive with his informant on a case he's taking seriously. he doesn't understand what she's really asking or what the problem is, and a big part of that is she doesn't exactly either. it's almost like she's blaming him for the stand still in her life, but at the same time wants to be seen & appreciated (in a way that she understands, can feel, can see). and i don't think she could have figured it out the way she needed to with mulder. she needed the safety of talking to a stranger, someone inconsequential to her life. (like there's no way she could have that "other fathers" conversation with him lol) so ed jerse is the one to give her that. (she does with ed what she can't yet do with mulder. something neither of them are ready for and she isn't brave enough to do yet. and like. idk i just think she needed this! regardless of mulder lol)
like: "this isn't about you. or maybe it is, indirectly. i don't know." the one thing she got right is "i don't know" lol so of course mulder is confused!!
if you place leonard betts first, she's contemplating what she's leaving behind. has she had any impact working on the x files? on mulder? who is going to remember her? what evidence of her life will be left? in that office...it looks like she's had very little effect. (but i do not subscribe to this one.)
if never again is first, which i like better lollll (it makes more sense to me. i understand why people like lb first, it's more clear cut. it puts a reason behind her behavior. but i just don't think it quite fits. scully literally doesn't know what's wrong. if she was already worried about cancer, i think it would come across differently. but she's frustrated & confused and she wants for something she can't admit, express, pinpoint, articulate? idk what word i'm looking for lol) scully's just hit that point in her pattern again, her cycle...it took her four years, and after some rough cases (paper hearts – she couldn't help mulder despite how she tried, el mundo gira – a dead end. and idk, so many of their cases. and she's always wrong, he always does the crazy thing, he's always hurt)...well anyway, at the end he's still asking "all because i didn't get you a desk?" he still isn't quite understanding, until she says it's her life and he almost says "yes but it's become mine." he doesn't say it, they sit in silence, and in leonard betts, he tells her she did a good job & should be proud. all his little jokes like he's trying to make her laugh, to get back to their usual banter. because he wants to make her smile. so he understood at least a little by leonard betts. but they also come to a silent understanding. i just love the way kae talks about it. and i think the end is kind of the explanation for the beginning. the end is the real answer to the whole episode, and what it took to get there...and this post here, kae just understands him and talks about him in a way that i feel. it's exactly what i see in a way i could never articulate. (and she does my favorite thing!!! connects different moments. the characterization is so good.) and she has such a special insight to both of them, different patterns, but to me two sides of the same coin.
and so, either way, at the beginning of never again, he's completely thrown because he doesn't know. this is when their bad verbal communication and personal issues/insecurities/fears take hold. they're both so good at taking too much responsibility.
we're seeing into scully's mind a bit, but we aren't really seeing into his. but he's afraid, he doesn't want her to leave (something he's feared for a long time), he thinks space is the answer to whatever's going on. but he's also kinda needy and he can't just say that. so he calls her and they misunderstand each other again and she makes a date. he isn't trying to be an ass but he's scared & defensive, and he gets like that when she makes him nervous. like whenever she believes (beyond the sea, revelations, all souls, en ami). it feels like that to me. he's afraid, but this time he thinks he's the problem, their work is the problem. and he kinda said the worst thing he could say to her at that moment. "you were just assigned" — he has no idea how she understood that, how it hurts her. (and she's not thinking about how he means it, what he thinks/feels/fears.) and really, it's because she sucks at just saying the thing as much as he does. it takes them a long time to work out their direct communication. their unspoken communication, the way they work on their cases doesn't translate to their personal relationship. as intimate as their partnership is, working through their own issues takes time and it's those things that hinder them moving forward for so long. ya know?
i think @randomfoggytiger talks about it beautifully here — in depth essay on never again. here they touch on mulder's fear/walls & scully's insecurities/needs. it's a journey!! which they talk about here. and i forget what this one was (lol) but i'm sure i saved it for a reason: a little master post. i love the way foggy breaks things down, especially visually. it's something i could never do.
i also reblogged some other never again posts. not completely on topic but it's all connected!! (you can definitely go through my never again tag to see more probably too!)
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borom1r · 3 days
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WAILING @theshakespearetrash sent me 2 ask memes for Boromir asks (who is very much Not my OC skfhshfjjs but I will Always do character analysis I love character analysis so much. rotating him so fast in my brain. microwaving him on high)
+ not to be a kinnie on main (voice of a man who is always a kinnie on main) but I will be answering these all w/ a sort of Boromir-lives scenario in mind -w-
anyways ask meme 1 + ask meme 2
1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?
ok I feel like it’s the cop-out answer to say “his fall to the ring” but I feel like Boromir is the sort of person to.. not like stew on things but very much takes the stance of “good or bad, all my choices got me to the current moment and made me who I am.” + I feel like there’s so much tangled up in his fall completely beyond his control where that’s the only memory that he’d like. actively want to erase from his mind
2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?
HM. good with kids. I think unless you’d seen him with Faramir/his cousins when they were younger you wouldn’t guess (he’s a soldier and a very plain man when he’s not putting on a show for his father), but he’s just genuinely great with kids
3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?
loves too much + quick to lose hope. painfully aware of this
4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?
fight response. 100% the kind of man who gets kicked out of a haunted house for punching a scareactor even though he knew a scare was coming. Faramir and Aragorn have both almost gotten throttled bc they unintentionally snuck up on him
5. How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
OOO. When He Is Of Sound Mind, not actually very far. he was raised with the knowledge he would be giving his life to Gondor, whether he died in battle or sat on the throne as steward. add to that the act he puts on for Denethor, everything he does to protect Faramir— he’s a man born to serve. his own wants come last
6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?
it would take. a DESPERATELY long time and an almost complete degradation of his mental state. Boromir arrives in Rivendell in October 3018, and the very next day is the Council, at which point he sees the ring and is IMMEDIATELY influenced by it. yet he doesn’t fully fall to it until the end of February 3019. he’d been fighting its pull for almost four whole months by the time he does anything malicious. resisting the One Ring for FOUR MONTHS. <- reasons why if I see someone call Boromir weak for falling to it I will see red.
7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?
teehee obviously again Boromir is not my OC so I will take this as an excuse to Be A Kinnie + say, I do remember Boromir being returned to us sometime after my coronation. so that’s one way my memories differ from canon, which is sort of an answer to this prompt snfjsjfj
8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?
OH YEAH. I mean yeah if we’re talking like actual criminal murder and not just Slaying People On A Battlefield like. yeah 100% he would IF he was within Minas Tirith. you know Denethor would do everything in his power to cover that up lmfao
9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
YEAH YAYYYY I GET TO MAKE MORE PPL LISTEN TO CROM AND BARONESS!!!!
anyways “have you ever seen a man so strong have you ever seen a man so great when he fights time stands still and everything seems so unreal but deep inside of him this man is torn” what if I bit things about this song
+ also listening to Magnolia and Shock Me by Baroness with Aragorn/Boromir in mind makes me ill. im Unwell.
10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?
HMMMMM The Frankenstein Chronicles gave me brain worms so I might write a Frankenstein-inspired thing at some point. sth sth consequences of divine resurrection
11. What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?
RAAAAGH. AUTISM TIMEEEEE.
Boromir uses a hand-and-a-half arming sword (meaning it’s balanced for single or double-handed use, with a crossguard). it’s a really elegant sword, very simple and utilitarian. speaks to an adaptable combat style as well. but, interestingly? Boromir carries a Rohirric shield, and if you notice Rohirric swords don’t actually HAVE crossguards the way Gondorian blades do. this tracks, and was common with Roman and early Germanic swords— BECAUSE these cultures were Also relying on shields for blocking.
and an additional note, Faramir’s sword is single-handed. so we’ve got a ranger who prefers the use of a bow and hasn’t experimented much with his sword combat, and his brother who prefers a sword and carries a very versatile blade with 1) a Rohirric shield and 2) a ranger’s vambraces designed to protect his arms from a (nonexistent) bowstring. I just find Boromir’s mix of protective gear so interesting, esp if you consider he and Théodred as at LEAST friends. like Boromir carries so much of the people he cares for with him into strange lands even when he (arguably) has little need for such gear
12. Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?
yes and no. I think, not consciously? but he absolutely values himself lower than the people he cares for. he goes to Rivendell to keep Faramir out of danger, he takes multiple arrows to the chest and keeps fighting to defend Merry and Pippin. I think if there’s a risk of someone he loves getting hurt, all self-preservation goes out the window
13. If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?
oh I would be staring at him like a predatory animal and trying to psychically convince him to lay on me in full armor
14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?
HGH. ok I don’t think he necessarily. does?? and this is generally a Silly Little Headcanon bc of a comment a Most Beloved Friend made abt how everyone gets their autism from their dad (real+true) + now in my head “haha Faramir got his autism from Boromir instead” BUT. like genuinely I don’t think Boromir has an actual image of himself in his head or like processes that ppl perceive him, necessarily. and particularly when his father is holding him up as this aspirational figurehead for Gondor, like… I think he’s just himself, in his head. idk how to describe it well for the neurotypical ppl in the room snfskfjs sorry. like I don’t process myself as having Traits so ppl tell me they think I’m cool or funny or they enjoy being around me and it’s always like “!!! oh!” + I think Boromir is the same way. I think Faramir could describe Boromir to him + Boromir would just be like. “huh.”
15. Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?
it’s Sean Bean + it will always be Sean Bean. sorry other Boromirs you simply pale in comparison
16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like?
VERY high by necessity. he’s a soldier he’s absolutely patched up his own injuries before, at least to hold over until he could see an actual healer
17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?
ahh. I wrote a very personal fic exploring self harm urges w/ Boromir, so I suppose that
18. Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?
very personable, when he’s of sound mind sndnsj
19. How does your OC behave when enraged?
oh he’s a silent anger type for sure. just seethes quietly. hello, consequences of spending time in an environment where you have no actual outlet for your anger + must simply sit there and Stew.
20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?
again, When He’s Of Sound Mind, no. the man’s got a big heart and life’s too short to be petty
21. Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?
hitting him with the autism beam bc I can. I do also think he’s lost at least partial use of his arm in a Boromir Lives scenario, considering where the first arrow struck him
22. What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?
HMMM neutral good. he’s not chaotic enough to be.. chaotic (lol), and I think he’s too willing to go against Gondorian Popular Opinion to be lawful.
23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?
HMMMMM pain, actually. or “weakness.” I think if he can quantify it in his head as “showing weakness” then it’s getting stuffed in a mental box and Not Addressed
24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?
ok well. None. I think with his circumstances he had zero choice in his path. HOWEVER. I am deeply DEEPLY fond of Boromir learning how to play an instrument after the war ends. I STILL struggle to blow my wassail horn that shit takes SKILL that I do not currently have and Boromir was the BEST at blowing his horn?????? I think he deserves to learn how to play an instrument, esp bc Aragorn, Merry and Pippin would ALL be delighted to have Boromir play while they sing. Boromir learning hobbit folk songs????? Rohirric songs, to honor Théodred?? yeagh.
25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?
HES SO. FUNDAMENTALLY LOVING. love is such a core aspect of his character he is so wholly loving that the ring has NO CHOICE but to try to twist that love. bc it’s all Boromir has. love. im going to throw up abt him.
AAAAAAAAAND:
alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?
has he ever BEEN completely alone? mm, no. has he ever felt that isolated? I think absolutely, by the time the fellowship leaves Caras Galadhon. obviously he doesn’t deal with it well el oh el.
as for how he acts when no one’s around to see him… I don’t think much changes, tbh. he’s not the kind of man to Perform for anyone except his father, and then with the express purpose of placating the man and keeping his ire towards Faramir to a minimum
betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?
been betrayed? hm. truthfully, no, though I’m certain he felt betrayed by Aragorn’s reluctance to be anything resembling a king.
has He betrayed someone? Technically Yes, though again, if we apply the qualifier of “When He’s Of Sound Mind” the answer is no. his betrayal comes under the influence of a Malicious Magical Artifact Which Has Been Fucking With His Mind For Months, so.
bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?
ooo, hm. I think not, actually, though it is a fun little idea for angst
break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?
gestures wildly at canon. I mean that’s his lowest. we’ve all seen it.
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
again, canon— to see his people safe. he’s very open with that desire, lol
failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?
AH. canon again. though what he does to move past it… mm. quite a lot of atonement, I think. perhaps of the self-destructive, working-himself-too-hard variety. I do think speaking with Faramir about *his* experience with the ring would help, because Boromir is the first to hold Faramir up as this sort of paragon of Goodness. so I think to know *Faramir* was tempted would help him better ground his experiences as, like…. Not A Deep Moral Failure Exclusive To Himself
fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?
ehehe. this is one thing I’ve touched on in a Faramir-centric fic, but the idea that the ring showed Boromir visions of Faramir dying at Denethor’s hand should he fail to return with the ring.
had Boromir lived to discover Denethor had nearly burned Faramir alive…… Mmmm. mmmmmmmm.
future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?
worst possible? if he’d actually managed to claim the ring. I shan’t elaborate -_-
ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?
MM. his own actions. dead friends, dead loved ones. though if you mean literally, haunts him, I do like to think that Théodred’s Oðr pays Boromir a visit every now and again
guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?
see above. handles it?? mm. atonement, again. direct action. he accepts it and does what he can to make it right
hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?
HATE? Orcs, probably. Sauron. that tentacle motherfucker outside Moria. he’s not a hateful man, so. shrugs.
heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?
that ended badly in the interpersonal sense? mm, unlikely. more ended badly in the “somebody fucking died” sense.
I do think he had One (1) fledgling romance in Dol Amroth that ended with the other squire dying and that was sort of the catalyst for “ah. If I love people they’ll Probably Die, so maybe I won’t do that” baggage that he didn’t really unpack until, I think, Théodred. add the additional layers of Denethor Being Denethor and Boromir having such great standards to live up to…. with all the love in my heart, that relationship only happened bc Théodred saw Boromir, went “I need to fuck that Gondorian so bad it makes me look stupid” and proceeded to work his way through 1700 layers of gondorian mental bullshit just so he could suck some dick (me too bestie)
hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?
hm. my first instinct is to say “not much” but ultimately I think he’d hide anything he can quantify as “weakness.” his own distress, any physical pain if he needs to be up and moving, etc. he’s only able to share that earnest moment with Aragorn in Caras Galadhon bc of Galadriel’s influence. he’s not used to being seen. so, if there is sth that would hold him back from fulfilling his duty as a soldier it is absolutely getting hidden/ignored.
hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?
hm. not necessarily Hunted, but I do think he is followed by Denethor’s expectations. it’s sth I’ve talked abt in another ask + that I go into in the costuming doc but such a key element of Denethor’s design is his son’s motifs but Richer, Grander. so… I do think Boromir is constantly alert of, like, how his father will perceive him, bc there is this very insidious sort of competition, this need for Denethor to show his sons up (whether a conscious need or not). and I do think that would weigh on Boromir quite heavily
mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?
mm again I think he only really wears a mask/performs for Denethor. anyone else would be too much effort for too little reward. at least if he plays Golden Son for his father, it keeps Faramir from being harassed as much
however, as for who gets to see him when he’s.. not just unmasked but actually RELAXED… Faramir, his uncle and cousins, Théodred, Aragorn, the others in the fellowship but particularly Merry and Pippin
midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?
does he have nightmares? oh definitely. what he does in the small hours of the night? depends. if he’s on campaign/traveling/otherwise away from Minas Tirith he will either lay there in his bedroll and Think (bad) or get up and write letters. depends entirely on where he’s stationed/who he’s with. if he Is at home in Minas Tirith, I expect he just goes for a walk + looks at the sky
mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?
I think I’ve pretty much answered all of this above, so skfjsjdh
monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
nah, he’s not ❤️‍🩹
nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?
answered w midnight for the most part— I’ll just add that no, he wouldn’t really talk about his nightmares. that requires showing vulnerability lol. I think Théodred and Aragorn are the only two who could coax him into speaking about his nightmares/fears (he wouldn’t want to burden Faramir with such nonsense)
pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?
answered sorta (yes he has a high pain tolerance) but worst pain? gonna go with three orc arrows to the chest
secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?
HMMMM again I don’t think there are many secrets. I do think if Denethor found out he liked men it would be disastrous
skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?
hm. I think he’s generally at ease with himself, or at least content with Not Thinking About These Things. I think, had he directly survived the arrows, he would have to grapple with like. the idea that he did prove Aragorn’s fears about men correct (whether Aragorn would agree with him or not)
torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?
Four Months Of Slow Mental Degradation Due To An Accursed Magical Artifact!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉
(no he wouldn’t torture anyone else)
wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?
hm. He would say mostly physical wounds. I’d argue a mix of both. he’ll accept as much care as he needs to stay on his feet and fighting. worst wound is definitely still arrows lol
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Ok, so if i'm not playing D&D the "right way" then what do you suggest i play? i don't even play 5e much anymore nor am i trying to start an argument, i am honestly curious. why can a game not have multiple ways of engaging with it, or just be a tool to facilitate storytelling why still having mechanics? Especially when the DMG literally says that there are multiple methods of play beyond the very strict definitions that thydungeongal and txttletale love to beat people over the head with?
I think I might be missing the context of what sparked this ask, but I'm going to do my best to answer it all the same.
First: I don't think you're going to get any sort of agreement between me, thydungeongal, or txttletale over what the one "right way" to play d&d is. (Based off my general impressions without talking to them directly) TDG is going to recommend you focus on stories of exploration and dungeon adventure because that's what the system supports, while TT is going to say that you should play something indie because not only are the d&d rules badly designed but WotC's market dominance is bad for the health of the hobby and the IP has some really iffy race politics.
I'm just as opinionated as those two, but my opinions are largely based around my standards for what makes D&D fun to play either as a player or DM: Is the group chemistry right? Is the narration informative/amusing to listen to? Are the game systems being executed well? Are we intentionally trying to avoid bad experiences/slog? For me D&D is a performance as much as it is a game, and a bad performance/gameplay (no matter what side of the screen I'm on) makes my skin CRAWL. I've been chasing the ideal game of d&d for two and a half decades now, and I'm unwilling to settle for an experience that's just passable.
I have no idea how you're playing d&d, or if the version you're playing (not just rules system, but general execution, way of being etc) is in any way to my liking, so I can't make a judgment if I consider it in any way "wrong". Likely if we did play I'd have some notes, and through analyzing the differences in our playstyles I'd come to an understanding of how I could play the game better.
That's the exact reason I reblog/comment on 5e critical voices: It's my favourite system, but the critiques levelled at it are something I (and I hope my readers) can learn from regardless of whether they're true, or just wrong in an interesting way.
If you're having trouble with how other people are saying a game should be played, ask yourself; do you have a point of view that runs counter to theirs? or do you just instinctively not like people telling you that what your doing is (in their opinion) wrong?
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@cassieopeiia said yes when i offered to repost my afro-dominican Jason Todd headcanons so they could finally have some accurate latino Jason content so here!!
Both sets of his grandparents were inmigrants who made sure to teach their kids their culture and Bruce,Talia and Alfred did research so he could still grow up in it after he was adopted so he's not disconnected from his culture like you'd expect
Is darkskinned with a big nose,full lips,green eyes and shoulder length black dreads with one of them being white from The Lazarus Pit.As Robin,he wore his hair short and natural(as in,his classic curls but even thicker)
Speaks spanish often enough that it's a consistent part of his speech patterns but dosen't have an accent since he's so good at both it and english
90s/2000s anime kid but specifically watched the episodes and read the mangas in latino spanish whenever he could(Definitely a merch collector too!!!Nothing weird though,i feel the need to say that,he just loves buying volumes and figures and replicas of weapons and plushies-The last one is a secret though)
Has his pre-reboot Robin characterization but got victim blamed and a bad rep anyway because of antiblackness and xenophobia
Bullying Tim for being a gringo is one of his favorote hobby's
Duke and him compare their similar yet different experiences with blackness and got along even quicker than canon thanks to it
Mentors Damian's team The All New Teen Titans and next to Damian,the member he's closest to is Nell
Takes great care of his hair and will sometimes wear red beads-He actually has a couple sets in different shades!!!
Says his favorite color is red because it represents blood on his country's flag and nobody can tell wether he's joking or not
Sometimes feels guilty for 'being a stereotype' due to the whole being born to poor parents who were also addicts and growing up to be a huge asshole with anger issues and a thirst for violence but rarely lets it get to him because he thinks he's the coolest mf to ever exist(but we all know he's actually a boyloser)
Aave user,with his favorite word from it being 'deadass'
And he makes the obvious 'Concha' jokes too for irony because he's demisexual and aceflux
Loves his country's cuisine-especially flan,it's tied with neapolitan as his favorite dessert!-but his favorite type of latino food is mexican!Tres leches cake and tacos and burritos and mexican hot chocolate and all that make his mouth water like Atlantis
Wears traditional festive clothes for special occasions and if he can't,he'll just refuse to go("I'm not going out in public in that!" "It's literally a tux???" "You call that a tux?It dosen't even have shoulder pads!Don't patronize me,Dickardo.")
Listens to bachata for nostalgia reasons and has some songs memorized but generally a female rappers/death metal bands/punk rock kinda guy
Black and latino memes connoiseur,both the classics and newer ones
Adores dominican folklore and uses it's horror mythos as inspo as Red Hood
Thinks 'showing affection means you aren't tough!' is gringo nonsense so he's pretty open about if he likes someone,be it platonic or romantic
Poc4Poc strictly and has a thing for black women
The only thing him and Kyle can agree on is that latinos are superior
Very autistic,with no masking game now or ever due to the norms he was raised in never giving him the chance to learn to.It got him bullied at school and things didn't get better into adulthood until we got to my Rhato rewrite and he got to make REAL friends i.e Reconnecting with Eddie and my self-insert Summer Kent(i got into DC through watching Utrh and starting to selfship with him),Robin-ing up Duke and vice versa and meeting Rose,Artemis,Kyle,Thad and a bunch of ocs by @moonage-gaydream @theautisticcentre @refrigeratedboombursts @mayameanderings and @insomniac-jay
Punkero Gótico(Goth Punk)who's a straightedge as trauma coping,seeks out latino/black run thrift stores,goes to basement shows and charity events and protests when he has free time and usually just asks around for them so he can know,wears dominican themed corpse makeup and is an agender transmasc who describes his gender as 'Mostly nonbinary but being a guy makes things funny as hell and Not That Kinda Girl by Mcr describes me pretty well')
His love for classical literatiure ofc includes latino authors and he played JuegosJuegos.com tons as a kid
Calls Talia Mamí,Damian 'Duende',Duke 'El Real'(Real=Spanish for Royal but also means the same thing it does in english so it's basically him saying 'You're so fucking real' like the slang)and Summer 'Strawberry Pop'(Jason has a thing for pink-coded black women specifically m'kay?)
His favorite Marvel character and lucky for him his Marvel Variant too is Miles Morales.He thinks it's Hobie Browm though(PLEASE He's so obsessed with his non-existent coolness and relatedly Duke's actual DC Variant is Duke 'El Real' Thomas)
And his books Variant is Percy Jackson.The only real differences are 1.Percy is transfem instead of transmasc and 2.Jason's arc is about him being a self-made tragedy and highkey bad person who works his ass off to redeem himself and only works when he's not getting coddling and Percy's is about how she's never done anything wrong in her entire life yet gets treated like shit anyway and deserves to be treated kindly for once no matter how strong she is
My fancast for him is Aubrey Joseph.Everything i've watched of him-Acting AND as himself-is literally just irl Jason Todd.There's no better fancast for him out there,we've found Red Hood y'all
If you call him any version of 'Papí' and you're not Talia or one of his kids:'Lights Out Bitch!!!!'
Canon bonus':His birthday is on Dominican Restoration day,at my villa we sell mini packets of neapolitan cream with little spoons at our schools,his Lego movie is called 'Family Matters' which is the name of an iconic black sitcom and Leon from Pokemon's VA voiced him in the Wfa dub!!!
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rembrenpaver · 3 days
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Akio, Touga, Utena and the coffins
I have seen people equate or compare how Akio tried to open Anthy's coffin, and how Touga' opened Utena's coffin and both of them as bad or ill intent.
What I think people don't see is that Touga' opening the coffin is much more similar to Utena than it will ever be to Akio.
Akio doesn't open the coffin, never has and never would. He doesn't even touch the coffin, he simply slashes the sword onto the door like a madman until the blade breaks and then turns around and leaves. His behavior is no different from the swords that pierce Anthy. He's not caring nor careful and there's no real connection between them.
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Touga and Utena do open the coffin. They walk towards it even though the only other person there is telling them to stop, either because it's scary or because it's hopeless.
Then they reach it and open the coffin with their own hands and the person inside the coffin tells them to go away, that coffin is where they belong.
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The difference? Touga couldn't think of any reason to bring Utena out of the coffin. His face says it all, he didn't have any hope in life either so how could he convince a girl who just lost her parents to live?
I have seen people say how grabbing her hair is an implication of assault. It's not, not as I see it. It's an attempt at connection, might be unwanted or not, but Touga tries to reach someone else, someone he feels could be like him, someone who has seen the hardships of the world head on.
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But he eventually lets go of it, like Saionji's bandage. He cannot reach Utena and cannot give her a reason to continue on, so he leaves.
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Utena has seen hardship, she has forgotten and then remembered it, she has accepted pain and betrayal but also love and connections and now has one reason to keep going.
She wants her happiness, Anthy happiness too. She wants to have Anthy in her life, and she wants her to live and experience happiness too.
Utena reaches Anthy, then grabs her hand and even if they were forced apart it worked, because she showed Anthy she could keep going.
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Akio didn't understand how to give love to others and decided to never do so. Only take it for himself.
Touga didn't have enough love to give to others.
Utena had enough love to give to others and chose to give it to Anthy.
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baileybeez · 2 days
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My Top 10 Catradora Moments (My Opinion Obviously)
10. Adora Has Always Loved Catra
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This is the moment I believe Adora firmly knows she's in love with Catra. I know she's in love with Catra beforehand but I believe this is the first time she realizes 'I'm in love with Catra'. Adora is getting ready to face an uncertain outcome with Horde Prime and she's trying to remain strong. But we can see glimpses of her looking for Catra wanting to her come back. We then see as she's heading to the Heart of Etheria, memories are being projected. The first one that comes up that really hits Adora is Catra. Catra saying her last and classic 'Hey Adora' and Adora is at first thrilled she's back. But then it changes to Catra when she was younger training in the fright zone, Catra from when she was chipped, Catra from Season 4, Catra from season's 1-3 and then current Catra. This to me screams 'Adora has always loved Catra despite all the hardships they've endured'. Even though she realizes deep down, this isn't the real Catra, she wanted to reciprocate her touch. But then the fake Catra disappears as Adora is almost off the edge.
Also this scene brought that iconic 'Somewhere Only We Know' tiktok.
9. God She's Cute When She Laughs
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Everyone knows I'm a sucker for fluff so this little moment always stuck out to me. We've seen Catra blush before and she looked at Adora's New She Ra Form and was like 'Damn...she kinda bad.' But this one was so sweet and wholesome. Catra at first is annoyed cause they're teasing her about how cute her helmet is and at first you think she's gonna be defensive about it. At first she is but then she see's Adora laugh and freezes. Adora is so happy Catra is getting along with her friends and is back to the Catra she grew up with. And Catra just smiles at Adora, any frustration she had melted away.
8. Princess Prom
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Ya'll this episode was the reason I gave She-Ra a shot. I saw this scene floating around online and I just had to find out what was going on. At the time, I had only recently accepted myself as sapphic and this was one of the first scenes that caught my attention during that time. There were already strong hints of Catradora later becoming a thing but this scene hit differently. We get to see the dynamic these two would have for a few more seasons. The shift between them as they become enemies while still seeing they still care for one another.
7. It's Over, He's Gone
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The end moment with these two in She-Ra was fantastic. Hearing Catra's soft 'Adora' as the two smile at each other was adorable. Adora reaches out her hand to Catra and reassures her that it's over and that Horde Prime is gone. These two had gone through so much because of the Horde. And now, their foreheads touch as they're just happy they made it to their happy beginning for each other. With Catra still being snarky and saying 'Good riddance'. It's a good final moment where the two can be happy. And now this just makes me wish we got a She-Ra movie.
6. Please Just Stay
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First of all, if you haven't already please read Don't Go by Nate Stevenson. It's a fanfiction he created that takes place after Save the Cat and really helps highlight this and other scenes I'm about to get into later. It's also just really good. But Catra beforehand is struggling to figure out why Adora saved her and dealing with the aftermath of what Horde Prime did to her. She and Adora just had a big fight with Adora telling Catra she never hated her. We find out later, the chip on Catra is tracking the ship they're on and they need to get it off. With Catra needing to confront Entrapta (who she also didn't end things on good terms with) and Adora. Adora tells Catra once they're done, they can drop her off and she won't have to see any of them again. We see this crumbles Catra's usual strong self as she lets herself be vulnerable for a moment. Grabbing Adora's wrist and then her hand requesting that she stays, Adora also blushes. Catra also comes up with an idea to read what Hordak's planning since their minds are connected. Catra knows Adora will continue to fight Horde Prime and knows she'll be reckless. She just asks Adora to stay with her with two two holding each other. I love this moment as we see the two work together and slowly build their bond again.
5. You Coming?
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As Adora is succumbing to the virus and Catra calls out to her, we get this moment of Adora's wish. She's back home with Catra, Glimmer and Bow as they're all getting ready for Scorpia's Princess Prom. Adora wants desperately to have this future with her friends and home happy. She's slowly learning to be selfish after she's been stuck trying to give and give as She-Ra. And she wants a life with Catra, the person she's come to love and married to in this vision. Stevenson confirmed couples in Etheria have something to show they have ties to each other. Catra is wearing Adora’s wing buckle on her shirt and Adora is wearing Catra's head piece on her dress. At first, Adora is sad because part of her wants to embrace this future but doesn't think she deserves this. But seeing Catra, the person she's married to in this version ask her if she's coming with them. She can't help but want to follow her. Even when Adora was dying, all she wanted was a peaceful life with her friends and the person she loved.
4. We're Going Home
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Save The Cat in general is a great episode and my personal favorite of She-Ra's. Adora manages to save Catra with the help of her friends as Catra is still unconscious from the fall and whatever Horde Prime did to her. Adora gently holds Catra and telling her she's not done yet and that they're going home. Adora's healing powers manage to work on Catra as she wakes up. She also says her classic 'Hey Adora' in a very weak voice. And Adora is so relieved that she just embraces Catra and and Catra is shocked. We see how hesitant Catra is accept Adora's embrace but eventually she does while letting out a deep breath of relief. With her purring being the last thing we hear before the episode ends. Catra purrs mostly when she's around Adora, she's always happy to be accepted by Adora. This description from Nate Stevenson also really helps sells the moment too.
'They stay that way for a long time, Catra’s face tucked into Adora’s shoulder, Adora gently cradling Catra’s head. Adora is careful not to hug Catra too hard or make her feel restrained, anticipating the moment that Catra will start to pull away — but Catra doesn’t. She hangs on so tightly it hurts, her claws digging through Adora’s jacket and into her back, latching into her like she did when she was a kitten and didn’t know how much her claws could hurt. Adora tries not to wince, tries not to move a single muscle, worried that if she does the spell will break and Catra will struggle away, appalled at having shown weakness. But Catra doesn’t let go. And so neither does Adora.'
3. I'm Not Leaving
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Save the Cat and The Heart Part 2 have my favorite Catradora moments and this one is one of them. We saw how Catra came back to Adora when she needed her and almost died trying to save her. Shadow Weaver comes in though and sacrifices herself with Adora and Catra reuniting. This time it's Catra rescuing Adora and coming to her aid instead of the other way around. Adora is struggling to use the failsafe and realizes it might not work. She tells Catra to get far away from where she is and that there's no more time. Saying how she can save everyone and touches her forehead with her own. While also stating how it's okay and she's ready. It's heavily implied Adora is going to die trying to use the Failsafe and Catra stands firm on staying with Adora. Saying whatever happens she'll stay here with her. And we see that as Horde Prime's virus is trying to take control of the Heart, Catra is facing it with Adora.
2. You Matter To Me
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I love the scene of Adora trying to save Catra from the chip she's being controlled under. Adora is trying desperately to bring Catra back out and trying not to hurt her despite Catra attacking Adora. Then Catra does break free from control and tells Adora she should have stayed away and asks why she came back when she doesn't matter. With Adora gently holding her face telling Catra she matters to her. This is also asked later again by Catra in Don't Go.
“Why did you come back for me?” she demands.
“I —“ Adora’s voice trails off in the silence. Catra doesn’t let go. The only sound is the soft, muffled humming of the ship’s engines as it moves through space, away from Horde Prime. “Because…” She trails off again.
What is she supposed to say?
“Because…you’re Catra,” she finishes weakly.
Because at the end of the day, Adora will always care for Catra. Then Catra get's possessed again as she walks towards the edge fighting to not be controlled by Horde Prime. Adora reminds Catra she's never listened to anyone in her life and asks if she's going to start now. Catra looks amused as she just says Adora's an idiot with Adora agreeing, tears in her eyes. Adora then says she's going to take Catra home as Catra breaks free from Horde Prime saying 'Promise?'. Adora holds out her hand saying 'I promise!'. This is obviously a parallel to when they were kids and they promised to look out for each other. It's such a heartfelt and touching scene
I Love You
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'Catra she distracts you, confuses you.' - Shadow Weaver
'You Etherians are all alike. Such strong connections to one another, it's what makes you weak.' - Horde Prime
And yet their 'weakness' and 'distraction' saved the universe. The Catradora confession scene is number one as it is a finale to Catra and Adora's character arcs. Adora is dying and seemingly getting ready to accept her fate. That there won't be a happy future for her. But then she hears Catra still reaching out and calling for her to wake up. Catra hasn't given up on Adora and Adora never gave up on Catra, so she shouldn't start now.
Adora does try to reach for Catra but doesn't quite make it with her saying it's too late and that she failed. Catra reassures her that she's got Adora and won't let go. In desperation and perhaps wanting to finally tell Adora, Catra says.
'Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please just this once, stay!'
We hear Catra and Adora's theme Promise in the background playing this whole time which we haven't heard since the episode Promise. Last time it was Catra leaving Adora to follow her own path and Adora learning to let go of Catra. Now, it's Catra reaching out for Adora as Adora takes her hand. Adora is blushing as Catra has tears in her eyes begging for Adora to stay. Adora does wake up in awe asking if Catra loves her. Catra is blushing while smiling calling Adora an idiot. Then she looks surprised as Adora just smiles at Catra saying she loves her too. They then kiss as Adora is finally able to activate the Failsafe but the two are too busy kissing.
I also want to add in the storyboard version of this scene where Catra says 'We always said it would be you and me, together at the end. But not now, okay?'.
Honorable Mentions Down Below:
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athena-xox · 22 hours
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Here is my tentative timeline with all the webisodes in chronological order.
Within series canon at least I think it’s right, I’m going to have to watch it in order to make sure there’s nothing out of place.
The next step is adding the books + diaries which I think will mean shuffling around the order.
You might be thinking that that won’t work because the books conflict and are a different timeline. But there’s a perfectly good explanation for that … I just haven’t thought of it yet.
If anyone’s planning on doing a rewatch perchance use this playlist that I made. If you notice anything wrong please lmk. For the specials I just put one trailer and that means to switch to Netflix or if you don’t have Netflix to use this link.
Anyways without further ado hers my timeline + justification
First week:
A take of two tales
Maddie in chief
Apples princess practice
Here comes Cupid
Catching Raven
This is all the first week of school. The reason I put apples princess practice at the start is because it should take place before here comes Cupid, because Hunter has a bit of a crush on Apple. And then Maddie in chief should go before then bc in apples princess practice, Apple acts as if she is study body president. And catching raven just makes sense at the start of the year.
Stark mad raven
true reflections
briars study party
the shoe must go on
The cat who cried wolf
cedar wood would love to lie
I put stark mad raven and true reflections a bit later because Apple says last week in stark mad raven and tbh true reflections makes sense to be a little bit later so I decided to keep them together. Briars study party I also put a bit later, we know it’s at the start of the school year because blondie says but I think that it makes sense in the second week. The others are just in release order
Legacy day
The day after ever after
Replacing raven
Blondies just right
Rebels got talent
Mirrornet down
Class confusion
From legacy day - blondies just right, it’s release order and makes sense to be the direct aftermath of legacy day. Rebels got talent imo has to take place earlier on in the year, I’ll explain why later. Class confusion would be around mid November for a start of new term.
True hearts day
Cupid comes clean … kinda
The beautiful truth
Once upon a table
Poppy the roybel
O’hairs split ends
Kittys curious tale
Lizzie hearts fairytale first date
Lizzie shuffles the deck
Duchess’s swan lake
Cerise’s picnic panic
This is mostly just release order. Kittys curious tale has to take place after poppy the roybel since poppy is referenced to. And kittys curious tale has to be before Lizzie shuffles the deck because kitty is playing on the Royal croquet team. I assume because she pranked Lizzie, Lizzie kicked her out onto the rebel team.
Thronecoming
And the thronecoming queen is…
Best feather forwards
Ginger in the BREADhouse
Just release order, and it makes sense
Spring unsprung
Ashlynn’s fairytale frolic
Save me darling
The forest festival
Apples birthday bake off
Save me darling canonically takes place in April and it should be before wtw. Apples birthday webisode is moved to her because it should take place in may
Way to wonderland
A big bad secret
Rosabella and the BEASTS
In my mind apples birthday is Saturday/Sunday and wtw is the Monday after. A big bad secret is moved so that it happens before Ramona’s first appearance. And Rosabella’s episode canonically takes place in may
Dragon games
Moonlight mystery
Wish list
A tale of two parties
Piping hot beats
There’s no business like snow business
Epic winter
Release order and there’s no business like snow business moved to be before epic winter
The legacy orchard
Canonically takes place in September and the start of a new school year. We know this is the next school year because bunny and Alistair are there
What’s in the cards for courtly jester?
It comes out with all the chapter 3 webisodes in which a majority of them take place in the following school year. I think it makes sense that she’s allowed to go to school at the start of the next year and the webisode takes place during courtly second/third week
Sugar coated
Because the yearbook plot from legacy day orchard is mentioned we know it takes place after. And the canon month is October
Meeshell comes out her her shell
The talent show is mentioned and we know it’s a year after rebels got talent because it’s the same talent show except in rebels got talent Maddie is MC and in Meeshell comes out of her shell, Maddie has an act.
Croquet-tastrophe
Canonically takes place in November. Is 100% this school year because of the yearbook plot
Fairest on ice
Yearbook plot we know it takes place in this year. Canonically January
Heart struck
Takes place in February and the first day of spring … yeah I’m not sure why spring starts in February
Bunny and Alistair forever
Takes place in March. Because apparently spring starts in February spring unsprung could have taken place in February and this webisode taking place shortly after. Imo it’s makes more sense to take place the following year.
Beanstalk bravado
Because Meeshell is seen in it, I think it makes sense for it to take place the following year. I think around April/may makes sense, just because there aren’t really any other webisodes from March - June
Tri-castle-on
Canonically takes place in June, the end of the school year. And again… the yearbook plot.
If you notice anything wrong please lmk. Keep in mind this is a first draft.
If you use my playlist and want to keep an eye out for mistakes: if you see Hunter and Ashlynn together publicly it means it’s after true hearts day, if you see poppy in the school it means it’s after poppy the roybel, if you see bunny or Alistair it means it’s after spring unsprung, if you see Ramona … well thar could mean a lot of things, if you see Meeshell that means it’s either right before Meeshell comes out her shell or right after.
So if anything’s out of place feel free to dm or reblog/reply to this post. Also if there’s anything else that confirms or denies the timeline that I missed.
Edit: also if you see Meeshell in a webisode besides hers or beanstalk bravado please lmk. Or Ramona somewhere other than big bad dexter, moonlight mystery, dragon games or epic winter 🙏
(Ps also thank you to @roybelmirrorcast for their timeline on TikTok that really helped me place the larger specials/webisodes)
Now I’m going to work on adding the books 😭😭
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niftukkun · 1 day
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fanart for a scene in @nerdydowntherabbithole 's Taking Life As Is on AO3 !! a scene early on in the fanfic that sounded so cool it gripped me with inspiration, where a vulture swoops down and gets fucking got by a leviathan while our dear protagonists look on in horror of the beautiful brutality of mother nature happening right in front of them! dont you love it when you leave your rotting corpse behind and immediately get hit with the existential horror of almost dying and the primal fear of seeing something that much bigger than you and realising your fragility when you were once a godlike being above such lowly thoughts and struggles? anyway.
some details and thoughts !! :
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-just before this scene, sugar (survivor's name in this fic) hunted and ate a salamander, so i included it in this here drawin too !! hell yeah esoteric fic-accurate details -(pro tip for any artists out there; if you want to push something into the background, gradient overlays are your friend. also, dont forget to check your values. outline your characters if they aren't popping out of the background enough) -in other, not fic-accurate detail,, moon's dress and marks. i think in the fic, moon's dress is more like,, an actual dress with sleeves and such. but also like, i do what i want and i want something thats barely a dress so i can show off my anatomy/mechanical bits art skills. i dont care if its not canon compliant im calling rule of cool -whoops i forgor the wires uhh shit nevermind it would cover the cool bits anyway whatever -also, while i am proud of the vulture and leviathan, they both used reference. like, i sketched them out yeah, but also the sketch was mostly done by staring at a reference the whole time and overlaying it on the canvas as needed when the drawing looked a little too off. so if you look at this and think 'aw man this guys too good at drawing i could never draw a vulture/leviathan/background/whateverthefuck like that' youre wrong. use references and get better at art by referencing references -shoutout to the miraheze wiki btw for supplying most of my references for this. fandom wiki could never
this fic holds a special place in my heart. like, i dont agree with it on a lot of things (how the cycle works, time between slugcat campaigns, how rot works, etc), but its very internally consistent and i like how all the characters are written. i really do like how, despite all the bickering, the iterators really do care for each other and love each other. i like that the blame isn't pushed just to pebbles, the acknowledgement of there being a lot of nuance and complications in the whole situation. i like the worldbuilding, nsh's wetland-esque biome, srs's gleaming glass beaches, the different interesting fauna/flora, slugcat society worldbuilding, the fucking trains hell yes trains.
most of all though, i love the authors dedication to getting a happy ending. no one left behind. all the iterators in the local group are getting freed (except for innocence but thats a different thing) all the slugcats are alive and doing well (even artificer's kids!!). and even though the fic throws the characters around, bad things happen, steps backward are taken,,, there is almost a palatable message that no matter what, things will be okay. artificer did bad and its acknowledged with visible consequences (scavenger temple route, which mightve made things so much easier on the route to nsh) but she still gets her kids back. hunter had her rot cured and even got some sick new upgrades but still struggles with overexertion and moments of weakness. both pebbles and moon have ptsd from the rot and the rain respectively and its handled reasonably well, not even mentioning the survivors guilt and learned helplessness on nsh and the whole,, guilt from causing this whole fiasco and the feeling of it being all their fault from srs,,,, , ,,,
i dont know. i just really like how dedicated the fic is to showing the realistic consequences of the unforgiving and brutal world of rain world and weaving it into a story of forgiveness and freedom. there are struggles but the heroes will still win and get to go home happy. its cathartic. i love it a lot.
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writerfae · 3 hours
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No thoughts, just Aiden and Henry hugging!
Also, how come Ranva used to call Henry little crow? (Not that it doesn't fit, it does (duh), I'm just curious if there's a story behind it)
And how did Hela end up in the human realm when she met Aiden?
Forest demons: uniting friends since day one!
And I wanted to rant at you a little about Bendegúz because I realized that I haven't really done that since I talked about his dad, and it made me sad, because I love him (also, I'm scared that sometimes I accidentally mischaraterize him because him and I have the same exaggerated humor but if you mix those together it just makes him sound insane💀)There's a very good reason why the difference between the villain Adél au, the villain Ákos au and canon is what Bendegúz does!
I wanted to tell you about some moments of his that I love (angst warning)
I mentioned that he and Ákos sometimes playfight, and Bendegúz sometimes shows him how to use his spear. And can you just imagine 8 yo Bendegúz with a 3 yo Ákos, and they're playing with sticks (pretending they are spears), and Bendegúz isn't that good with a spear yet, but to Ákos he already looks like an expert ❤️🥺
Also, there's this sweet moment where they're preparing to fly home from the swamp (and it's not the happiest circumstances for Ákos' first, real flight) and Bendegúz apologies for this and promises that after this is over they'll go on a real, nice, pleasant flight
The fact that he took care of Moss (who he doesn't even like) while Ákos was gone
When Adél is told that Ákos is dead the first thing she does is run to Bendegúz and he's holding her so tightly and aaaaa
Just his inner struggle of "It wasn't MY litte brother! I can't be sad!" But as soon as there's even the slightest chance to get him back, he's on it!
Both him and Adél being willing to go to the swamp even though they know that the chances of Ákos being alive are close to zero.
Adél and him spend so much time together! Ever since their parents introduced them to each other as babies they were always together. Never one without the other
Bendegúz learned to fly, and now him flying up to Adél's window just because, is a regular occurrence. They constantly have sleepovers (it's really easy since Bendegúz and his mom live on the castle grounds)
It's really cute because in Bendegúz's house Adél's childhood drawings are hung up, and vice-versa 😭
And they play a lot of boardgames 😭
He is very good at lighting up a bad situation with a joke but never in an inappropriate way. Just in those moments when people need a little cheering up, and this always makes his friends feel all warm inside.🥺
I'll stop cause we'll be here all day...(sorry if this got long)
I hope you liked this little rant 🙈
Ranva called Henry her little crow because of the color of his hair and for a second reason that I can’t say out in the open xD she also referred to her sons as her little crows sometimes, also for that second reason.
And Halea came to the human realm because while fighting the forest demon, the beast and her practically “fell” through an open portal to the human realm that someone (or something) must’ve opened shortly before and left open.
Bendegúz really is a sweetheart, his relationship to the royal siblings is really adorable! You can tell he loves them!
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avonne-writes · 2 days
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2, 9, 24! Any or all!🌻
Thank you so much for the ask, dear! (Reverie ask game)
2. What's one minor moment your character regrets? A small mistake, but something they "can't erase"?
This is an interesting question because we're only talking about minor mistakes.
In the grand scheme of things, it didn’t change anything, so we can count this as a minor thing, but Bucky regrets telling Gale he lost the old Bucky (chapter 6). He thinks about it often in the first months after the war. He thinks that saying that out loud made it true and that it put the idea in Gale's head even though he might not have thought so otherwise.
Gale regrets that in that moment, he responded with "I may have already lost him. But it feels like I'm losing my best friend now." He regrets it because he thinks this confirmed the mistaken idea to Bucky that the new him is not as good for Gale as the old him was.
They both have bigger regrets than these.
9. Is there anything that scares the main characters about their friendship/relationship?
Gale is scared of the possibility that he’ll be the reason why Bucky gets hurt in any way. That's why his first thought after Algeria was to start working on the barriers between their minds. In the stalag, he’s scared that his failure to re-establish their bond drives Bucky to insanity. Similarly, post-war, he’s scared of being the one who gives them away as a gay couple.
Bucky is sometimes scared that he won't find the right words or do the right thing in pivotal situations. It also scares him how much his love consumes him in his worst moments during his post-war recovery. The coping method he developed in the stalag, which is thinking of Gale as the only reason why it’s worth staying alive, doesn’t go away that easily.
24. Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?
Yes! Gale sees himself as someone who’s unlovable without conditions, and he thinks everyone wants something from him. Combined with how long it took Bucky to stop denying his feelings, it’s hard for him to believe that Bucky loves him. As we see in the fic, he comes to finally believe it at one of his lowest points in the stalag. But it's one thing to believe and another to understand what that means for himself and to live with it. It's going to take years before his view of himself starts aligning with the person Bucky sees, someone who has been deeply hurt but who’s precious and deserving of unconditional love.
Bucky's view of himself used to be close to Gale's view of him before the war, but loss and captivity damaged Bucky's self-esteem and confidence. He feels like he’s useless and he can only focus on his failures. He’s more prone to bad moods and has a mean streak that doesn’t align with Gale's view of him as a warm and loving person. He thinks he’s not worthy of Gale's love and that he made too many mistakes in his life. To recover from this takes years of steady reassurance. 💔
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