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jaylleoo14 · 6 months

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"Can I kiss you?"

Octavinelle x gn!reader

A/N: Simple. The sea trio has corrupted my mind and so here I am writing this at 1:03 AM and finishing this up two days later LOL. I actually took forever because I kept squealing and getting off track during the writing process. "I NEED TO DRAW THIS" I would say to myself haha. I wrote them without much consideration on how long each might be so one of them may be shorter compare to the others or it may be longer, but please do enjoy^^ (May or may not do the other dorms, unless...)

[Disclaimer] TOO MUCH FLUFF

[characters] Floyd, Azul, Jade

Azul

3:24 PM - The Mostro Lounge sits under blue and silver burnished lighting as the sound of music fills the air. Accompanied by voices and the clinks of dishes, there you sat in the more private area of what adds to Octavinelle - Azuls office.

Something you both have learned to get accustomed to was to just do work alongside each other without the need of having to talk. It was just work. Nothing more. Of course some small talk here and there, asking opinions or maybe asking for help- though it was usually you who asked for it and less of Azul- but regardless it was back off to work. It's quite simple really, Azul is a busy and hard working person so he'd naturally have a lot to manage with. You had to keep up with your studies and try to manage how to handle your money and savings accordingly, along with planning events into your calendar for upcoming school occasions.

You and Azul have been dating for about half a year now, and although not all the time, most of the time you spend your free time here doing your work accompanying Azul as he does his. You both simply enjoy each other's presence, the silence between you two which is filled with the scritches and scratches of his fish-bone felt tip pen and your pencil against the many pages of papers were not at all awkward. It showed a sense of comfortability and familiarity, a tranquil silence in the room. Though of course, like almost any couple you begin to crave some attention from your dearly beloved.

3:27 PM - Placing your pencil down, it now rolling off to the side a little due to the momentum, you lean back onto the back cushions of Azuls couch placed in the middle of his office. Working for about 15 minutes now you decided you needed a break, stretching your arms back as you release your breath through your nostrils.

"Going to take a break Angelfish?" Without even having to look up, the sound of you leaning into his leather cushion and your stretched out groan already tells him enough information that you're ready to just try and relax and rejuvenate yourself.

"Mmmh yea, I think 15 minutes of work is good enough for now. I'll go back to it once I rest up," is all you say in response as you lean your body over to lay on the couch. He only lets out a hum to let you acknowledge that he was listening. Now that you weren't focused on your own work, you can hear him writing with a rich shink-like noise and papers constantly flipped and turned every 30 seconds.

I wonder what he's working on, you think to yourself as you stare up at the dark blue arched ceiling. You prop yourself up with your elbows, pushing yourself up as you move your legs off the couch. Springing off, you head on over to where Azul was working around behind the desk and peered over towards him. "Whatcha working on?" Voice soft and curious, an undertone of boredom.

"Just some useful material intended to aid students," he says in a gentle manner, his eyes still glued onto the papers. "Oh yea? How much longer till you finish up with those study guides?" You lean over a bit closer as you stand next to him, his handwriting as intricate and beautifully cursive as ever; yet still eligible for those who have a harder time understanding.

He lets out a little inquisitive hum as if trying to accurately calculate when he'd be finished by. "About in an hour or so," he says finally after seconds worth of time. "I'd say make that an hour-thirty to two from now" you say with a little soft laugh escaping your lips.

3:30 - Standing next to Azul as he preps material, you slowly come to look at Azul himself instead of what Azul was working on. Being able to see the sight of his silver crowned locks of hair that curls into beautiful waves. Only after making your comment does he stop his hand and turn to look up at you from where he sat.

After finally not being able to properly see Azul's face the entire time you were working, seeing his face was a sort of refreshment to your heart and the soft smile on your face shows that. "And what prompts you to assume such a thing my dear?" He can only be met with a giggly response, his serious and quizzical face only prompting you to let out more chains of giggles.

"Tell me what you are suddenly finding so funny? I certainly am positive that I haven't done anything humorous." You tilt your head a little to the side, your grin getting slowly bigger as you clasped your hands behind your back. Azul can already pick up that you're trying to whip something up.

"You know Azul, when was the last time you kissed me?"

And there he goes, short circuiting as the sudden change of mood drifts him like the ocean currents. "I-Is this what you're on about?" He certainly has picked up by what you meant with your earlier comment now that you've voiced your question. "Oh dear, do you perhaps feel neglected since i've been working so much Angelfish?"

"Don't try to act smug. Answer my question, when was the last time you kissed me?" You immediately shoot down his question as you direct it back to yours and it sends his cheeks a pigmented red while he tries to keep his cool. He understands that you wont stop asking him this question and so he answers away.

"I recall it to be a few weeks back."

"And where did you kiss me?"

"I-I don't see how that- hah, on the cheek. Seriously (y/n) what is the relevancy in asking such- "

"Ah! Hold it! So you're telling me you've been giving me kisses and I've been giving you kisses but we've never actually kissed at the same time?"

3:33 - Here you are facing Azul as you look at his tinted red face, picking up where your suggestion leads. What awaits is permission to boldly take your relationship to the next level.

"Can I kiss you Azul? And not on the hands or on the cheek like we usually do." You give him a soft pleading look, your cheeks also decorated in a lovely shade of red as you wait for his response patiently. Clearing his throat and having the need to suddenly fix his not crooked glasses, he gives you a very shy yet still doing his best to be serious look. Before answering, he quickly resolves himself and a more confident smirk is plastered on his face. As he pushes himself up from his chair he closes in the distance and comes in close towards you, wrapping an arm around your back.

"Ask and you shall receive, a small kiss is worth the price of my time for you my Angelfish," he says it ever so calmly and confidently. Though the redness of his cheeks give away that he was otherwise and it makes your heart squeeze and beat crazy because of how cute he was being right now.

"You're being so cute right now you know that? You don't have to force yourself, you know." Your voice is gentle and smooth as if it were raw honey. Bringing a hand to tuck the longer piece of hair that made up his hairstyle, you give him the most adored stricken smile ever and he can only feel his heart beating out of his chest.

"No no, it's about time we started to get more intimate considering how long we've been together now. Thank you for going at my preferred pace, I'd like to give you an honorarium payment." You let out an amused chuckle and let him prepare himself, closing your eyes as you wait for him to go in at his own pace. Though you least expect it when he suddenly goes in very quickly. His lips are stiffly pressed against yours for a couple of seconds and it has you opening your eyes in surprise. You're met with a red faced Azul -which can be compared to a steamed and cooked octopus- looking flustered and a little awkward as he seemed to have a little dissatisfactory expression on his face. "That... Did not go as well as I had hoped it to be."

A jovial and convivial laughter fills up the room in your sound and it only makes Azul shrivel in embarrassment. You can practically see the steam coming from his head as well. "Well that was a little anticlimactic don't you think?" Wrapping your arms around his neck he can only let out an embarrassed groan at your little comment. "What do you expect from someone who's inexperienced with committing such an act? I'm positive however that with enough practice I can redeem myself and satisfy you." He tries to sound all the more reasoning, which only prompts you to laugh even more.

"You want to kiss more?" Saying through slips of giggles. You feel his hold on your back tighten a bit more, still applying gentle and reaffirming pressure as he presses you both together. "How else do you suggest I be better then?" You turn and motion your body over to the desk, leaning your lower back against it as Azul follows along. "Hmm, I'm absolutely positive that it'll take you two hours to finish those study guides now." You pull a little amused laugh out of him as he slowly goes in once again, tilting his head to the side and his eyes looking to align with yours. "Mmm perhaps. I guess we'll have to see just how long it'll take for me to get better then." And in he goes, the kiss feeling much more natural and a mark of showing a deeper significance in your ongoing relationship.

Jade

The nights on campus here were unusually less disturbed and a lot colder now, which makes sense considering that it is now winter break. The students here at Night Raven College had all gone home to reunite with their families after departing to pursue and complete their highschool education. However a certain group of individuals tend to stay during this time period, and that being the dorm leader of Octavinelle, the vice dorm leader, and the vice dorm leader's twin brother.

Like a lot of teenagers, its normal to come across at least 10 students at night since many are nocturnal people and they share the hobby of walking around. Especially when the sky is dark. You are one of those people. Someone who indulges themselves into the canvas of black paint littered with shining splatter of stars. Regardless of what the weather is like, you willingly go out of your way to enjoy the peacefulness of the night, watching it as it goes through the different seasons. Walking around in the winter's night air you can see your breath whenever you huff out, a shiver going through your shoulders. A little reminder that its the cold season now.

The chilly weather seems to be getting to you so you turn back from where you presently are and walk back to your good ol' home, Ramshackle dorm. As you make your way back from the main road you can make out a tall dark figure up ahead, prompting you to slow down and start to get wary. Upon getting closer and squinting your eyes a little, you can see teal hair shining a bit under the orange light which was radiating off a nearby light pole. Oh, it's Jade! You remember Jade mentioning that he liked to also go out late at night, though this is your first time ever encountering him on your usual walks. Perhaps he too is taking advantage of the quieter nights.

You and Jade have been a little on and off. You cant quite describe it, its complicated really. Sometimes you feel like you cant understand Jade because he's always making things open-ended, leaving them up to your interpretations. You like him, that much is obvious. But there are plenty of times where he's shown interest in you, and other times where it may not feel as so and it throws you off. Its frustrating not knowing how he feels about you, as if its some sort of game you two play. Regardless of his little plays though, you continue to enjoy yourself in the game.

A slight breeze hits your figure and it causes you to shiver, rubbing your arms to enforce friction in hopes of warming you up. You figured it may be best to leave Jade alone so he can enjoy himself in peace doing whatever he was doing. And off you go, turning on your heel and continuing your venture.

The sky is so pretty, you think to yourself. It has you arching your neck up and leaning your head back as you stare at the night sky, continuing your walk. You cant help but look at how pretty the stars are knitted together in a beautiful cluster, zoning out a bit as you continue forward.

Suddenly a hand is placed on your shoulder and it causes you to jolt up like a scared cat, making you break out of your trance. A yell is ushered out of you as you quickly turn around to see who this person could be, and you're only met facing Jade.

"Oh dear, I do apologize for my sudden notice. But your voice sounds lovely even when out of fear fufu"

Your heart is still pounding and your eyes are opened widely, staring at him with disbelief and shock. "J-Jade! What are you doing?! God you freaking scared me oh my gosh." Your little scared moment certainly has him entertained as he lets out another chuckle.

"You seem to be so infatuated with the sky that you failed to notice your surroundings. I was only doing my part in trying to help you realize that."

"What do you me-?" As you turn around your quickly met with a lamp pole right in front of your face and it causes you to flinch back a bit. "Oh." Turning around to face him again you feel yourself feeling a bit embarrassed that he caught you about to do something embarrassing. "Thanks Jade... What are you doing out so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I was just taking advantage of the quiet night and looking at the nature of the trees." He looks over you, a genuine smile on his face plastered as what you can assume to be looking at the area around us. "However I stayed aware of my surroundings despite having my own infatuations." His little snarky yet calm remark causes you to let out a groan, a pout slightly forming on your lips.

"I was also taking advantage of tonight as well thank you very much." Straightening your back, you cross your arms and give him a slight frown as if trying to regain back your little pride. Then quite suddenly a gust of wind howls a bit in your direction, causing you to shiver and quiver a bit. "Tonight is quite cold I must say." His slight remark makes you shiver even more as you are reminded of the cold.

"Yea, no kidding. I didn't prepare well enough so I'm going to head back." Your face is cold to the touch and your nose and cheeks can be seen slightly red under the pale moonlight. "Oh I see, perhaps I can accompany you then." He offers yet you turn him down in a polite manner. Your reasons? It's obvious you like Jade. You really like him, though because of all these mixed signals you can't help but feel like you need to stop. It already frustrates you enough and so you need to let these feelings die down even though sometimes you really do get a kick from the things he does.

"You seem to be quite cold indeed (y/n), if I can't accompany you back then please allow me to warm you up for your trip."

His words seem to catch you off guard and you look up at him quizzically. He doesn't seem to be wearing any sort of jacket, how can he offer you warmth? He chuckles a bit, amused to see your confused scrunched face. Gently bringing a hand to your cheeks your eyes can't seem to help but widen in shock a little from the sudden gentle advancement, your brain going blank.

"Can I kiss you, Prefect?" He says it ever so softly, his voice wrapping you up like a soft blanket. Did Jade really just ask to kiss you? What's going on, is this even real right now? Are you dreaming? Is this another one of his games? You feel your face starting to heat up and your heart is starting to race.

"W-Wait, what? Did I hear that right?" You say in disbelief, but he knows you heard it correctly because of your red face. His hands cupping your face causes you to freeze in the moment and all you can hear is the loud drums of your heart. Leaning down a bit more you can see his eyes perfectly now, his heterochromia jewel like eyes shimmering. "I must admit i'm a little hurt to see you trying to avoid me recently Prefect. I apologize for beating around the bush for so long, I hope you can take this kiss as a form of acceptance for my feelings and my apology."

This eel.... THIS EEL! He knows what he's doing, he knows! You're left stammering a bit before you could answer, the feeling of your head spinning. "I...accept your apology." And with that he goes down in one smooth motion, his lips in contact with yours with a perfect fit. Once he leans back, your eyes are met and he lets out a content hum. "I'm glad to see you're quite warmed up now. And if I must add, happier too." A big goofy smile is placed on your face as if you just won the lottery, your face all red and heated. "You know, I actually wouldn't mind if you were to accompany me back now. Who knows what might be out here."

You seem to be in a giddy mood, no longer holding back. Finally, you can understand Jade's true feelings for you now. It makes you overjoyed, a feeling of happiness now that you understand. And with a smile on his face he agrees, playing along with your little game of words. The feeling of warmth and fluffy happiness fills you up, and the cold cant compare with that as you make your way back with Jade, his little darling Pearl.

Floyd

"WHAT THE HELL FLOYD?!"

Crash!

Ah yes, just another regular day. You, Floyd, your phone in his hand, breathless, a cheeky and amused grin on his face, and just constantly trying to snag your phone back in the spacious long hallway. Call this a regular day occurrence considering how many times he's come to bother and mess with you now.

"Floyd, give me back my pho- STOP SCROLLING THROUGH MY CAMERA ROLL!" Running up and trying to snatch it away by jumping, only to fail because he's now outstretching his arms away and tip-toeing to refrain from you reclaiming back your item.

"Haaah? Your camera roll is so boring, just full of pictures of the sky. We see that everyday, you should take more pictures of other interesting things!" You really were running out of breath here and he seems to take great amusement with it since he's still here messing with you.

The sun shined brightly against the two of you, the open wall of the hall letting the air roam freely.

"Ahaha! What a funny picture of Crabby-chan! Oh, and you got one of little Mackerel too." Floyds not listening to your words, enjoying himself as he indulges in your camera roll. You let out a tired and heavy sigh, heaving a bit as you try to catch your breath. "F-Floyd, why are you doing this? Argh, I swear you've been bothering me so much lately." He only give you a little "hm?" in response as his smile now fades, turning to something more neutral and casual as he continues to indulge himself in your selective memories.

"Ya have soooo many pictures of other people lil' shrimpy. Ah! You even have a picture of Jade and Azul! No fairrrr!" Letting out a whine, you can see his prominent pout as he pinches his fingers on your screen to zoom in on you which was in between Azul and Jade. His eyes stick to the screen as he stares at the picture of your sweet smile looking as if you just finished some heavy and tiring labor just before.

"That was when we went camping during Vargas's stupid camping trip. Of course you weren't there!" You huffed out as you wipe a sweat off your neck, placing your free arm on your hip while you just watch him on your phone. At this point you just gave up and let him do what he wanted on there, of course as long as he's in the camera roll and nowhere else.

"But i'm here now aren't I? And you were even there when I went camping, jus excuses." His slightly upset voice makes you feel a bit guilty yourself, but you try to find a way to dispute his words anyways.

"Not true! If you keep scrolling more you'll see yourself in one of the pictures I took with Ace!" A huff escapes your mouth as you try to stay strong on your claim and he only lets out a disappointed groan. "I'm in the background Shrimpy, and you cant even see my face properly. Ya dont wanna have people mixin' me with my brother now dontcha?" His eyes look over towards you now as he drapes his arm down, just very offended with the lack of pictures you have available of him.

"It's not like i'm gonna show anyone Floyd. No one's gonna know its you except for me." You try to reassure him but he still isn't satisfied at all with your response. The sun shines in as its rays changes its direction and hits Floyd in the eyes, causing his already sour mood to worsen and he lets out an annoyed huff. The shadow of the pillars drapes over you like a veil and the sun hits him like a beam, so he then places his hand over his forehead to block the sun out while walking closer to you in venture for refuge. The light reflects into the phone causing a gleam hitting your own eyes and so you step back, squinting your eyes away. For a moment you actually forgot he had your phone if not for the reminder the gleam gave you.

"Floyd, could you please hand me back my phone now?" You say in a more gentle voice in consideration to his sour mood. His droopy eyes meet yours as a slight pout forms on his face which then looks over at your phone in his hand. Suddenly, his pouty face lifts up into a gleeful smile, his toothy lop-sided smirk giving you unease as if he's planning something not so great.

"Ya know, why not jus' take some pics right now? Say cheese~!" Suddenly, with his longer legs he quickly makes his way over next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling close.

"Wha-? Hey-!" Before you could even ready yourself though, he brings the phone above you two, angling the camera as he tilts his head against yours and maneuvers his thumb over the camera shutter button, pulling your bodies together.

Click! Click! Click!

"Hey stop taking so much! You're going to take up my storage!" Quickly swiping up your phone you press on the little square in the corner to open up the pictures. His arm continues to drape on your shoulder as he looks over at the pictures with a happy hum. Floyd looked as photogenic as ever when he wants to be, his silky skin reflecting in the pictures as his smile radiates and shine while his cheeks being a dusty pink. You on the other hand....Not so much. You were even blinking in one of them, most of the pictures of you looking off and funny.

"I wasn't ready Floyd." A stern look is scrunched on your face as you swipe and look at the pictures with a judgmental stare. A giggle can be heard right next to you as Floyd also looks over you in the pictures, a tinted pink running on his cheeks and a soft look in his eyes; his heart speeding up just slightly as he continues the close and intimate proximity.

"I think you look cute anyways." He says it ever so casually and in a gentle voice, causing you to look over at him. Upon turning your head to face him, its only then did you realize just how close he was. How intimate you two were being right now. His side profile looking perfect as ever, his olive colored eye locked on the screen staring only at you, his arm draped over your shoulders, your bodies practically meshing together right now as his pecks touch your back. You feel your cheeks starting to heat up, your heart begins to speed up as if you are starting a morning run the more you begin to get conscious. His eyes suddenly dart to look at you and you flinch back, jumping a little due to being startled; however his arm keeps you in place from moving any further.

"Seriously, you've been messing with me too much..." You grumbled out as you turn your face back to look at the now black screen. It shut off due to the lack of inactivity, and in the reflection you can see your furrowed brows and tightlipped frown. Though from the side Floyd can only give a bigger grin upon seeing your velvet cheeks.

"Cus' I like ya, aint it obvious?" The speed to which you flip your head can be compared to one of a bullet train and your jaw drops, mouth wide open and agape as you're left with no words. "HUH?!" Your whole face is now a full on red, your eyes filled with shock as if he just dropped the most jaw dropping information ever. Well, technically he did.

Tilting his head to the side a little, his face also grows a darker shade of red, though he lets out a giddy chain of giggles to your reaction. "Eh? You're quite bold Shrimpy, movin' kinda fast there huh?"

"W-What?" He can practically see question marks floating around your red beet face, his toothy smug face still apparent as he wraps another arm in front of you. He's basically giving you a side hug right now -a sweet and tender one.

"Hehe, nothin,'" smiling as if its something only he knows makes you a bit bothered and curious, but then he suddenly swings himself in front of you now. The sun hits the back of Floyd, making him radiate ever so brightly. "How bout' we start off a bit slower hmm? Whats it to ya Shrimpy, do ya like me back?" His soft and droopy slanted eyes adoringly stare into yours and you cant help but feel your heart turn into a big wet sopping pillow. Adverting your eyes down, you can only give a little nod. "Well i mean, I don't hate you. So yea, I.... I do in fact, Like you too."

Honestly, Floyds been nothing but smiles now and its as if he found the most pretty set of flowers ever on a grassy field. "Is that so? Ya really like me huh?"

My hearts beating so fast right now.

"Yea, I really like you."

"Shall I give you a kiss then Shrimpy?"

Tilting your head back up at him you can only give him a shy and flustered face. But with the silly state you're in right now, you let out a slip of a tongue response.

"C-Can I kiss you?" Totally unexpected to Floyd, his eyes widen for only a moment till he's flinging his head back with laughter and squeezing you into his chest.

"Hahaha! Will you kiss me?" Calming himself down a bit he looks back at you with you in his arms now, the suns rays slowly shifting over.

"Will I kiss you?" saying almost in a smug manner now, feeling yourself succumbing into his giggly state of self as you yourself now start to get giddy with your red cheeks.

"You will" He says it with a reciprocal teasing tone as he leans forward, the comfort in his lean arms making you feel as if you've been lovers forever.

"I will?"

"I will" And with that he softly goes in to press a kiss on your lips, the sun shining and hitting the both of you and its as if you two were getting the spotlight of a movie.

Click!

Huh? As you turn to slowly pull back from the kiss, slowly opening your closed eyes you see Floyds phone out. His arm is outstretched and propped in the middle of you two from the side to capture the kiss perfectly and you can only let out a gasp.

"A picture for me hehe~"

"FLOYD-"

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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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request; reader and jj seeing each other after a while apart? like reader was on a vacation or something? thank you

warnings; fluff, the end may be suggestive if you take it that way

pairing; jj x fem!reader

authors note; i didn’t know if this was for a blurb or an imagine but i assume it’s for a blurb. but yes again, i am having a bit of writers block, almost through it. so i’m writing from the list of prompts below for blurbs or you can send in your own idea for one. as well as imagines and etc.

JJ has resorted to spraying your perfume on his pillow.

He’s fucking miserable, to say the least.

The flowery scented spray; something you’d accidentally left at the chateau— from sleeping in with JJ and snotty goodbyes upon leaving for vacation.

He begged and pleaded, even tried to convince your parents to let you stay.

It was always ‘no, this has already been planned.’

Now this wasn’t some all expense paid trip, as if you were a Kook or something. Your parents had been saving up to go on a get away for months now— you were a pogue to your core, well that’s where you thought you fit anway.

Though he knows your arrival is minutes away, he’s still snuggled with the pillow; holding onto it for dear life. Sniffing it every now and then so he could be pulled back into sweet melodic memories of what was.

He didn’t have your touch for nearly two weeks, which he constantly craved and hungered for— no delicate, slow and ravenous kisses. No more ‘this is my excuse to touch your ass’ hugs. No more sleeping directly on top of you.

Not a thing.

JJ is completely irritable, annoyed, and touch-starved. So out of his element that whilst the rest of the Pogues went fishing he stayed, and waited.

Because he’d wait for you in the burning sun and the pouring rain, no matter the circumstance he’s there.

He’s convinced he’s not even breathing normally and that he’s having heart palpitations.

He’s not sure how he even made it this far.

But today’s the day.

Today’s the fucking day he gets to touch all over you like a wild animal, and he can’t wait a minute fucking longer.

Prior to this final moments alone he’d been in the mirror combing through his hair. A single piece of his blonde tresses stood taller than the rest, nitpicking really— because he normally wouldn’t care about such a thing.

But he feels like a small child awaiting for a piece of their favorite candy.

Or someone that just won the lottery.

He’s not nervous, no, merely yearning for you and wanting everything to be in its right place.

At the right time.

He’d also checked his breath multiple times, awaiting the most silky, sensual kiss he could fathom.

JJ is jumping up from the couch at the impounding sound of your knock. And it’s music to his ears.

The door nearly flung off of its hinges, and he’s drowning in joy to see your short frame on the other end. Breeze fanning your hair effervescently; both sharing a grin so huge that cheek bones reached the corners of their eyes.

JJ's picking you up like clockwork, so effortlessly and sustaining. Walking backward on his heel clad combat boots, he spins you around; sulking in the fact that the person his insides ravaged for was in his arms.

"Well, put me down J. Want my welcome home kiss!"

He never lets you go though, sat cutely on his hip; whilst he removed his head from the crook of your neck his lips trailed and lingered themselves from there, all the way to your mouth. Groaning all at once and you tried to keep up with his feral pace. Lips almost swallowing yours whole, he tasted you. He memorized every groove of your tongue; you couldn't even remember his tongue going into your mouth with his impatientness.

You didn't necessarily care though, awaiting this moment youself.

So wrapped up in each other, like a dopamine high that neither of you could come down from.

Millions of fibers of love erupting in the two of you.

Ethereal.

"Being feisty now, aren't we?"

You were sarcastic and JJ knew it. His forehead glued against yours, searching your soul with his eyes; reading you. Lips sore from a mix of the attack he'd made and not having used them soon enough.

If he could pay someone to take a picture of this moment, he'd give them every last penny to his name.

"Just really fucking missed you, baby."

"Hm ... how much?"

You challenged, and JJ smirked knowing that he's really rubbed his own banter off on you.

"How about I show you just how much I missed you."

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midnightfantasiez · 6 months

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A Gift For You | Lee Sangyeon

SUMMARY: your boyfriend Sangyeon has always treated you so well since you both began your relationship six months prior. it was about time that you returned him the favour by giving him a gift that he would never forget.

PAIRING: inexperienced sub! Sangyeon x dom f!reader

GENRE: smut (18+ MDNI!!)

WARNINGS: kissing, making out, blowjob, fondling with male genitals, squirting, cum tasting, oral & fingering (m!receiving), anal fingering (m!receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, couch sex, hickeys (m!receiving)

WORD COUNT: 1,520

A/N: it's the loml birthday today, hence here is my contribution/gift to him 😚❤️ i wrote this in a rush (bcs i ran out of time & used up all my brain juices for his other birthday fic i wrote on my main blog 😭) so i apologise if this isn't the best 🤧 shoutout to my love @daisyvisions for constantly fuelling my Sangyeon brainrot and giving me ✨ideas✨🥴

You have been with your boyfriend for the past six months, and he has done nothing but constantly put a smile on your face daily.

He was the heartthrob of the campus, and you could see why. He was at the top of his grades, part of multiple clubs and even led in many of them, and he would always be there to give a helping hand to all students and lecturers alike.

It was a shocker when he took a liking towards you, for you would’ve considered yourself one of the girls who would venture out every night to go for a drink, and you weren’t exactly good at studying either. But there was something that the both of you had in common—music.

It has been on your wishlist for the longest time, and you have always promised yourself that you would get back to your love for music once you got into university, especially when you had no music club back in the high school you were enrolled in.

You specialised in the vocals and played a few musical instruments as well. It was when you were selected to be part of the main vocalists' lineup for a show that the club was hosting for the summer, and it just so happened that you were paired with Sangyeon. From the very beginning, he had taken the initiative to break the ice and make you feel comfortable. Both of your vocals paired well with one another, and eventually, the little friendship you’ve both had slowly blossomed into something more.

Today marked the sixth month that you both have been a couple, and you wanted to give something back to your boyfriend after all that he has done for you.

And it would be something that he was nowhere near prepared for.

“Sangyeon-ie?”

“Hmm?” He hummed as he continued stroking your hair gently while you leaned onto his shoulder, watching the Netflix show that was projected on the television screen.

“Should we… you know. Do something else?”

He chuckled. “Why? Is the show not doing much for you?”

“Is it bad if I said no?”

“Not at all, babe. What do you want to do then?”

“Well, you have always given me so much and treated me like a princess. Don’t you think my prince charming deserves some love from his princess too?”

That got his full attention as he turned his face to look straight in your direction. “Wow. What am I getting, then? A present?”

“Something much better than a present.”

Slowly, you leaned forward to press your lips against his. It was soft yet warm, and you always craved for his lips—every single time, you would feel as if you had ascended to heaven, even though you’d kissed him for the nth time by now.

Sangyeon accepted your touch and adjusted himself so that he could tilt his head for you to gain more access to his lips. You slowly moved your hands from his chest to his neck to cup his face. Slowly caressing his face, you inserted your tongue into his mouth, and naturally, he did the same while moving his hands to rest against your waist.

Now that you have gotten him occupied, you slowly moved your other free hand down to his pants, gently rubbing his member. Sangyeon gasped at the contact, for you have never done such a thing before. Just as he was about to pull away, you grabbed his neck, only to pull him back to you.

“Baby, you trust me, don’t you?”

You reconnected your lips with him, and this time you would snake your hands into his pants, rubbing the tip of his member. You could feel his member tense with your cold touch, and this only excited you more. You pulled your hands back out only to drag his pants and underwear down, pulling out his cock and exposing it. You then moved down and knelt on the ground before positioning yourself right in between his thighs. You were gently rubbing the tip before taking it fully into your mouth.

“O-oh my god… Y/N… w-what are you doing…” It was clear that your boyfriend was having a battle of his own, trying to make sense of reality while he tried to calm himself down.

You were constantly sucking his cock, before you stopped for a moment to respond to him.

“This my love, is called a blowjob.”

You reconnected his member into your mouth as you began fondling with his balls, giving them a little squeeze which earned you a groan from your boyfriend. Sangyeon tilted his head back onto the couch, both hands gripping the sofa as he tried his best to calm his fast breathing down.

It was then he was about to reach his high, he naturally began convulsing and pushing his cock deeper within your throat, squirting all of his cum all over your mouth. The look of horror was plastered all across his face as he began propping himself up and apologised to you profusely.

“Oh my god! Y/N! What have I done, I’m so sorry—”

Just then, you lifted your head to look at him, wiping off the excess dripping from the corners of your mouth before you leaned in to reconnect your lips with his.

“Oh, baby. We’re just getting started.”

Almost immediately, you quickly removed his top and threw them off. This time, you moved your hands back down and stopped right at the entrance of his asshole. You slowly pushed a finger in, and Sangyeon yelped at that move. You gave him a few seconds to adjust before you started fingering him while moving down to suck his nipples.

“F-fuck… Y/N… Y/N… aaaahh…”

“Tell me, baby. What do you want?”

“I-I…”

“Yes, baby?”

“W-want more… inside…”

With that, you inserted another finger up into his anus, fingering him gently as you kept your gaze towards his beautiful face.

It was new to see your boyfriend like this, and you were beyond proud of yourself for taking this route to please him. It was how innocent he was and his constant sweet moans of your name the entire time. You wanted to pleasure him more.

As your lips slowly moved down to lick his abs (god, were they hard as fuck), you started moving yourself to sit right on top of his thighs, removing your top as well and pulling your underwear to the side before you aligned his tip to your entrance and slowly moved down as his huge cock slowly inserted into you.

Sangyeon started to whimper from that alone, and you took a few seconds to adjust before you began to bounce on him. He closed his eyes throughout the whole session, and his constant moans echoed throughout the room. Sangyone bit his lower lip, and he hissed when you started to pick up your pace, grinding on him ever faster.

“Aahh—Y/n—”

You quickly grabbed both of his hands and placed them onto your breasts, guiding them so that he would give you a gentle squeeze before he shot up from the couch to connect his lips towards your nipples, circling them and eventually sucking them.

“That’s it, baby. You’re doing so well for me.” You constantly praised him in between your moans, and it was now that your boyfriend was fully cast under your spell, not rejecting or being unsure of your touch anymore. You could tell how he had been wanting more as he began to thrust up into you, so you weren’t the only one doing the job now.

Sangyeon began to feel that he was coming soon, but he wasn’t sure if it would be alright for him to release his cum all over again. For one, he was inside you now. Second of all, he thinks that it is a little unfair that he is going to come twice when you haven’t even had your first orgasm. There was a slight hesitation in his voice before he eventually mustered up the courage to ask you.

“Y/N… babe… I-I don’t think I am going to last…”

“That’s fine, baby. Just do it.”

“W-where can I—”

It was then his cock finally hit the spot within you that got you crying out, and you finally felt the knot in your stomach, indicating that you were about to come anytime soon as well. You gripped onto his hair before screaming out loud.

“Inside! Sangyeon! Finish inside of me!!”

Within seconds, both of you came at the same time, and both of your juices were now dripping down the couch. As you came down from your high, you immediately began placing kisses all over his body, sucking it a little bit harder near the crook of his neck with the thoughts of leaving behind a hickey.

As you got off and he placed his fingers over where you just left a mark, you smirked before whispering in his ears.

“This is proof that we have finally done the deed, and there will be so much more to come, baby.”

A/N: i need people to know that sub!Sangyeon can also be hot 🥴

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @flwoie

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goldenlikedayl1ght · 8 months

Text

bound for n.y.c - g. van fleet

a/n: hi everybody! i’m back with a cool 3.6k fic about the one, the only, greta van fleet! i am seeing them at msg next week and am so excited that i just wanted to write a quick fic. please note that there’s no set ship and that it’s sort of implied that reader is in love with all members of the band and all the band members are into reader and NOT EACHOTHER. except maybe sammy and danny. let me know if y’all want anymore of these types of fic, idk maybe it’ll flop. also this is kind of fast paced and i am very sorry for that warnings: kissing, physical touch, mentions of anxiety and stress, complicated love triangles, food mentions, reader has a stepdad and a good relationship with their mom, reader being from ny, i think reader is fully gender neutral with maybe a few feminine traits but no real descriptors. also reader has tattoos and mentions of a dog that is no longer with us! no use of y/n, one mention of drugs, a bunch of references to sex, and cursing :0 word count: 3.6k summary: as tour manager, it's your job to get the boys to new york city, your home town. just don't fall in love with them, or anything. now playing: runway blues – greta van fleet

Being tour manager for America’s favorite Led Zeplin cover band, or at least, that’s what your judgmental bitch of a landlord called them once, was surprisingly difficult.

You were constantly running around after the four of them, feeling often more like a nanny than a tour manager. Especially at first. You had started meeting with them a few weeks before their World Starcatcher tour had begun, where you wore these professional, stuffy outfits. They had been referred to you by their makeup artist, who you had known from when you were an assistant to the tour manager of Phoebe Bridgers’ 2022 reunion tour.

You had been working for a producer when you got the call. Truthfully, you missed touring. It was a great way to see different parts of the country and the world, and you thrived in the chaotic environment. And you had heard of Greta Van Fleet, mostly from your grandfather, who was a huge classic rock fan, and always exploring new music via his iPad.

But you started out rather cooperating with them, wearing these stuffy outfits—Mostly long button ups and pencil skirts, while the boys showed up in comfortable casual clothes, always joking about you having to loosen up a bit.

And one notoriously hot day in early July, you showed up in shorts and a muscle tee to meet with them to go over the final dates of the tour before you all gave your go ahead to the social media manager.

You didn’t do much talking about the tour that meeting, opting instead to answer questions about your tattoos, your taste in music, your life to this point. And in exchange, they gave you pieces of themselves.

“I’m from New York,” You had answered over some late afternoon drinks. “I haven’t been home since Christmas, So I’m excited to see my family when we’re there.”

Josh’s fingers traced your upper arm, over a tattoo of your long-gone dog. “Will we get to meet this little guy?” He asks.

You only chuckled, “No, this one died while I was in college. Best dog I ever had.” You said solemnly.

And that was it. One comment about your dog and the boys were hooked on you forever. And when the tour started, you only grew closer— Sharing with them parts of your childhood, Jake teaching you the very basics of guitar, Josh taking shots with you before shows, Danny bringing you coffee to cope with those shots the next morning, and Sam holding your hand when he’s anxious, or when you’re anxious—or both.

So, by the time you make it to the boys’ first show at the Garden, you’ve developed a routine.

The bus leaves by seven a.m. from the hotel in D.C. to get to New York by nine, nine-thirty-ish. You’re craving a sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel from your favorite deli near where your mom lives, about an hour outside of the city.

So, you wake Jake up first, as he takes the longest to really wake up, and you’re sure you’ll have to shake him awake at least twice before he really gets up for the day. Then, you go to make sure Josh is up, and hear his shower going by the time you get to it. Good.

Then, you head to Sam, who is snoring away with Rosie. You almost don’t have the heart to wake him up. Almost. But Rosie senses your presence and stands up in bed, starting to lick his face. He groans, mumbling a soft, “I’m up, Rose, I know.” You feel good when you head over to Danny.

But thankfully, he’s already up. He’s in bed, writing in his notebook when you get there, sipping his coffee and all packed up for the road. His hair is tied up in a bun, and you’re entirely grateful that he’s so good at this whole thing.

Usually, you don’t need to wake each of them up, but every few shows, the five of you, as well as other crew members, indulge in the after party. And last night was your turn to be the D.R.O. Designated responsible one.

Eventually, you get all four of them downstairs and on the bus, no real difficulties. You all climb onto the bus and begin the drive to your home state. And you can hardly take the anticipation. Seeing your family again, visiting your favorite spots, and getting a homecooked meal was keeping you going. You had moved to California for school, before traveling on a few tours, and then settling for about a year in Nashville. But you ached for New York.

While your boys busied themselves with talk, games, and music, you stared out the window, biting your thumb and ignoring the reruns of Daredevil that played on your laptop in front of you. And apparently, you were bouncing your leg intensely, because the only thing that snapped you out of your thoughts was Rosie’s head on your thigh to relax you.

You scratched her head, sighing as you closed your computer, before glancing up to the boys, who had gone suspiciously quiet.

“What?” you asked, giving them a concerned look.

“You know we’ll make it to New York, right?” Sam asked, “You’ll be there soon.” He said, holding your hand, just like he always did when you were anxious.

“I know, I’m just—I miss home. And I love touring, and usually I’m never like this, but when I realized I’d be seeing my mom after months, I just... It made me start focusing a lot more on the fact that I miss it.”

You knew they’d get it. Michigan had been their home for years, and although they loved Nashville just like you did, you knew they left a part of themselves in Frankenmuth, just as you had in New York.

Danny tossed you a blanket, “Get some sleep, Sugar. You’ll need it.” he said softly. You nodded, too anxious and tired to argue any further than that. You cuddled up to Sam, Rosie finding her way in between your legs to further comfort you.

As you drifted off, you thought about your relationship with them. Things like Sam’s holding your hand and cuddling, Danny’s very often kisses to your forehead, Jake’s gentle hugs from behind, and Josh’s well—Josh’s everything, he’s a very affectionate young man—had been, for the most part, strictly platonic. You had thought about it. Kissing one of them, asking to break the professional lines of your relationship, however blurred those had become.

But it was more than that. Over the past few months of knowing them, it had developed from you getting them from place to place, into a softer, more tender relationship. The relationship you had formed with them was something you had been desperately lacking and needing. You had only realized that you missed it when you got it from them.

You were all real true soulmates.

You woke up to the sound of a loud series of honks and yelling from outside the bus. You peeked out of the window to see people screaming at each other, thousands of people making their way to work, and tall skyscrapers overhead.

“Jesus Christ, it smells like someone died!” Jake complained, as the rest of the boys agreed on the smell being horrid. It made you grin. You were home.

You stretched and pulled out your phone, checking the itinerary for the day that you had written out in your note’s app the night before. And you were right on schedule, since you accounted for traffic getting here. It was around noon, so you decided to head over to the hotel to get settled in before the show.

Except when you got there, the lady at the front desk informed you there were no rooms booked under the name you had given them. Which was insane, because you booked a room months ago knowing how expensive and unpredictable the city was.

So here you were, a show that night, with no hotel room, and a group of hungry twenty-something year olds. You were going to scream. And they could see it on you, your muscles tense, as you struggled to not start shaking.

Josh rested a hand on your arm, rubbing his thumb gently against it as he wrapped his other arm around your shoulders. “Deep breathes, Baby. You made that reservation; these guys are just a bunch of fucking fucks.” And it made you laugh, enough to relax you. You took another minute to think, before turning back to the rest of the guys.

“Okay, here’s the plan. We must be at the Garden for soundcheck and costumes, hair, and makeup by five thirty. We’ll go there now, drop off our bags and we can go grab pizza and garlic knots at this spot I know, good and are very cool with service dogs.” You said, unable to think of a scenario where you leave Rosie anywhere except with Sam. “While we’re there, I’ll make a call, since I think I know where we can stay if you guys don’t mind a bit of a drive after the show.” No one objected, they simply got back on the bus as instructed, and headed to enact that plan.

After dropping off your things and making it to the pizza place, you step outside for that call, telling Jake to just order you a soda. The phone rings. Once. Twice. And on the third call, your mom answers, excitedly saying your name.

“Where are you guys? Did you make it to the hotel okay?” she asks, and your face melts at the softness.

“Hey, Mom, we’re in the city, getting some lunch. Listen, the hotel messed up our reservation, and now we’re looking for a new place to stay... I know it’s last minute, but—” And before you can ask it, she cuts you off.

“Well, you five can stay here! We have the guest room, your room and your brother’s room.” She decides. “I’ll cook, do they like sausage and peppers?”

“Mom, you don’t have to, it’s gonna be late when we get in.”

“And you still need to eat. I’ll see you tonight, okay? I love you baby, break a leg tonight.” She advises, even though you aren’t the one preforming.

“Alright, I love you, mom.” You hang up and head back inside, settling into your seat next to Josh, just as the waitress comes back to take your order. “We’ll have a large cheese pizza with half mushrooms, please. And a dozen and a half garlic knots.” You say coolly, not giving the boys a chance at all. You love this restaurant. It’s best you order anyways.

They all stare at you for a few seconds before you smile. “You all get to meet my mom tonight.”

“Don’t you think we should have a couple of dates before we meet your mom?” Danny asks, and it makes you giggle.

“What do you think this is?” You tease.

Lunch goes really well, and after a bit of tourism and some drinks around the city, you make it to Madison Square Garden to get them ready for the show. For a brief few hours, you have a break. Usually, you spend it catching up on some work, having some quiet time, or anything of the sort. But this is their debut at the Madison Square Garden, in your hometown. You feel an obligation to watch the show.

Before the show begins, as Josh and Jake are getting their makeup done, you relax with Sam and Danny on a couch somewhere backstage. When Jake is done, he steals your phone off the table, and holds it up to take a photo of the three of you. Sam and Danny lean in and each kiss one of your cheeks, and it makes you roll your eyes for a second before you smile at the camera, letting them be all lovely dovey and affectionate, like a bunch of freaks. Your freaks.

When the show starts, you watch from the sidelines, cheering for them and generally enjoying the show, because you just know how important this is for them. And you eat it right up, watching your boys perform at a dream venue for so many artists.

Before they start Highway Tune, Josh starts speaking to the crowd. “This is a very special show for us. Our debut at The Garden. The Garden, how about that?” He hums. “And we’re also playing in our tour manager’s hometown... So, we have some special surprises for you in their honor.” The crowd goes wild, and your face flushes, giggling at the idea of them performing a special show just for you.

The show goes by quicker than you would like it to, because you’re enjoying it too much. And you’re really understanding suddenly why so many people are down bad for them online. They look really fucking good. When they get off stage, you just want to cling onto them or make out with them or worse, and then they go back on for the encore and it leaves you longing, wanting for more.

What the fuck is happening to you?

You get caught up in this feeling to the point where the next hour or two—Waiting for the crowds to clear out, for them to get undressed, for the bus to get there—fly by, and before you know it, you’re in the bus again, heading to your moms. Josh lays his head on your lap, and Sam has found himself cuddled up against you. Danny is leaning against Jake across from you, and Jake is just staring at you. He has a familiar look in his eyes, and you just stare back.

When you make it to your home, while all the houses are dark and quiet, the kitchen and living room light is on when you make it to your home. The bus driver has family in the area, so he’ll stay with them for the night, and pick you up early on Thursday Morning, giving you all a break from the crazy travel days.

Your mom is in the kitchen when you come in, having late night coffee and tea with your stepdad. She hears you come in and gets excited, greeting you all at the door. She pulls you in for a hug and a kiss, holding onto you for a little while, just excited to see you. When she pulls away, she grins at the boys.

“And who are these lovely young men?” she asks, teasingly.

In a deadpan voice, you respond, “The cokehead rockstars I’ve been traveling with. I’m their groupie.” You say, and she scoffs at your sarcasm.

Josh smiles, “That’s us, Baby!” He opens his arms to your mom, and she gladly hugs him as a greeting, despite this being their first meeting. And there it is again, that aching feeling you had, when you watched them perform tonight, the same feeling that followed you home. After hugs and introductions, you’re all at the dinner table, gobbling down the dinner your mom made for you. You can almost cry, enjoying the taste of her cooking after months without it.

And the boys enjoy it too, loving a filling meal after a busy show. When you have all finished eating, you make your way up to your respective rooms. You stick Danny and Sam in the guest room, Jake sleeps in your brother’s room, and Josh in your bed, with you. You could almost die.

You take out your earrings and then you lay down. Your arms are exposed, showing off the tattoos you have once more. Josh sleeps in his boxers and a tee shirt, even though your room is chilly. He lays next to you and begins tracing his fingers over your tattoos.

“What’s this one?” he asks, tracing over a ghost that’s on your forearm, right above your elbow.

“Got it during the final show of Phoebe’s tour. She has a similar one somewhere, and I guess it was my way of commemorating the tour.” You explain. He hums, and moves to a different one, asking you the origin of that one. This goes on for a while, before you kiss his palm and tell him to get some sleep.

He falls asleep quickly, and you just stare at him through the darkness. ‘Are you dreaming of me?’ You want to ask, a hand reaching out to run your hands through those vicious curls. Before you know what, you’re doing, you cuddle up to him, laying your head on his chest. When you feel his arms wrapped around you, you begin to drift off, confident that you did not overstep any boundaries.

When the morning strikes, you get up and realize Josh is still asleep. You wiggle out of his arms and leave the room. You must be lost in thought because you bump flat into someone without even noticing. It’s Danny. His hair is wrapped up in a towel, and he only wears a towel around his waist.

He reminds you of that one video of Slash from the golden age of Guns N Roses, and it stirs something deep inside of you.

But he just chuckles and kisses your forehead gently. “Hey, sweets.” he says softly, in that raspy morning voice.

“Good morning.” You respond. “Sorry for interrupting.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything; you don’t have to apologize.” He advises. “See you downstairs.” You take a cold shower just to get out of your own head before heading downstairs, where you meet your mom, Jake, Sam, and Danny laughing and eating French toast, as your stepdad cooks in the kitchen.

You love his French toast, but a pang of disappointment hits you as you think about your sausage, egg and cheese on a bagel, with hashbrowns. You quickly eat to dissipate any of those needs. But you’ve been talking about that sandwich for months, so it haunts you.

The rest of the day, you spend pretty much doing nothing. You nap, lounge, and catch up with your mom. It’s the perfect day. Just you, your mom, and your boys. And of course, Rosie. Your mom makes pulled pork sliders for lunch, and you order Chinese food for dinner. Real, good Long Island Chinese food.

And really, the day is over before you really want It to be. Sam asks you to join him on walking Rosie. You happily oblige, planning on taking him to get ice cream along the way. He has his arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you keep your head leant against his shoulder. Rosie trots in front of you happily.

“I could get used to this.” He says suddenly.

“Huh?” It catches you off guard. What does that mean?

“This. The quiet life. Walking my dog in the suburbs...” He says shyly. You get the sense there’s something on the tip of his tongue and you long for him to say it. “I love touring, but these domestic moments... You can’t beat ‘em.” He decides.

You want to kiss him so badly.

Instead, you just hum, and snuggle closer to him, wondering what the hell you’re doing. And that’s a super valid question.

The night goes the same as the last, except you kiss your mom and stepdad goodnight, not wanting them to have to get up in the morning to say goodbye. You suspect your mom will anyways. And she does. As the boys file out of the house, she’s handing them homecooked meals for the road, and you give her one more hug and kiss goodbye, before heading to the bus yourself. The others are on the bus, but Jake stands there, his hands behind his back. You narrow your eyes to him suspiciously.

“You’re an amazing tour manager, you know that?” He says gently.

“Yes, I do. What are you scheming at?” You ask, not totally trusting him.

He just grins as he reveals a brown bag he’s holding, handing it to you. Your confusion only grows as you take the bag and open it only to smell the best thing you have had in months.

A sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel. With hashbrowns. From your favorite deli.

You almost scream.

“What?!” You gasp, “How did you—”

“I borrowed your mom’s car this morning and got it for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that...”

“Yeah, I did. I meant what I said. You hold us together, and we couldn’t be more grateful. Plus, you’ve been talking about this sandwich for months and—” You don’t let him finish. You kiss him. It’s full of all this pent-up passion you’ve held in, and Jake just wraps his arms around you, deepening the kiss. He wanted this just as much as you did, you realized. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you both lean into the kiss, fully enjoying the moment. Then, he pulls away, saying your name quietly.

You don’t know what to say. Then, the bus honks twice, scaring the shit out of you.

“C’mon you two! We got things to do, you sorry shits!” Josh yells. You can only laugh before you both climb onto the bus. Now, a new lust has overcome you. The lust for the sandwich you hold in your hands.

The lust for the four boys that surround you doesn’t dissipate either.

But as you head for Boston, your boys in tow, your shift as Greta Van Fleet’s tour manager begins once more, and you resume your position easily.

Until Sam kisses your neck. Then you melt again.

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crushedsweets · 7 months

Note

back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

#long post #🌙 anon #asks

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steveharrington · 1 year

Note

Thoughts on Steve's self esteem?

A lot of people depict him as self-deprecating, to the extent he's convinced he's a complete idiot incapable of doing anything, and I get where that comes from but personally I feel like it's the show/other characters that view him that way.

Steve seems pretty self-assured and sometimes even overconfident to me? And not in an overly exaggerated 'hiding self-loathing' way, he just comes of as pretty okay with the person he is post-s1. He doesn't backtrack when everyone is irritated with him being 'dumb' (some of many examples being in S3 with the music that Dustin and Robin tell him doesn't matter, or S2 when he uses sports analogies to tell the kids they weren't going to the tunnels).

I mean he's definitely insecure about how others perceive him and his future, or lack thereof, but Jo Keery doesn't play him as having internalized the general consensus of 'Steve's an idiot'. At least not until s4 when things are rocky between him and Dustin, who's being more condescending than in the past.

idk it's just another thing that's treated as fact even though I don't see much basis for it in canon. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting something

well i do think steve has a pretty low self esteem, but i agree with you regarding his own perception of his intelligence. steve is aware of his academic shortcomings and the fact that he isn’t the smartest guy in the room, but it doesn’t really seem to eat him up inside. the jokey way he’s like “c minus ;)” and how he straight up tells nancy in s4 that he’s a combination of confident + dumb really just gives me the impression that he’s not embarrassed by or insecure over his intelligence.

however i think steve is deeply insecure over his appearance and he most definitely has like a complex about needing to be perceived as hot all the time. works cited: meticulous hair routine, refusing ice cream to avoid gaining weight, chalks his rejections in s3 up to his work uniform “ruining” his appearance, apparently no longer waxing his chest because girls like it (this one is rlly funny admittedly), even in the coke ad he’s like dustin stop wearing denim vests girls don’t like that 🙄 like he simply can’t exist without constantly thinking “am i being hot rn if someone looked at me would they think i’m pretty am i attractive am i desirable does my hair look good does anyone want me” and clearly bases so much of his self worth around the answer always being yes. looking deeper it’s moreso that his family unit has left him constantly craving love and attention, therefore he’s always looking for a romantic partner, therefore he always wants to appear desirable. but it’s also like i KNOW he’d fall victim to the modern day tiktok anti wrinkle straw/face ice rolling/uv ray mask propaganda

#answered #anon

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daisyful-gvf · 1 year

Text

✿ little wing ✿

part 2

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

pairings: jake x reader

word count: 4.6k

notes: just to clarify, the jake in the moodboard ^ is the jake in this fic. and strap in bc i told y’all this one’s a slow burn (or as slow as i can manage)

warnings: marijuana use

playlist that is mentioned in this chapter

•••••••••••••••••••��•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

PART ONE if you have not read it yet

✿ ✿ ✿

“They called us for soundcheck like three minutes ago,” Paisley’s eyes are wide, and there’s an urgent arch in her brow, “Come on.”

Tearing your eyes away from Jake as he stands across the room, you grab your crinkled water bottle and head down the autograph-riddled hallway to the stage.

Still, as you adjust the tone knob on your Fender, you wonder about him…how soft his lips look…how his smile seems to set your chest on fire…

Oddly enough, it’s when he’s not around that you realize how bad this little crush has gotten—you think of him in the mundane moments, like your mind craves the pleasant glow of a daydream.

Ever since your first conversation with him, Jake enters your thoughts like he belongs there. His name echoes in your head constantly, like a song stuck on a loop. While it makes you feel silly and stupid like a teenager with a crush, it’s not entirely unwelcome.

“More guitar?” The tech shouts from the booth. You strum an open C and nod. Gradually, the guitar comes up in the amps.

“Mic check,” the tech cues.

You begin to sing, half-assedly, just to make noise into the mic. The levels bob until the tech nods once in finality.

“Drums,” they ask next, and as Paisley starts to tap away on the snare and hi-hat, you let yourself drift back into a daydream.

Laying on a velvet sofa, raking your fingers through the ochre ribbons of his hair as he sleeps. A candle glowing on the side table, a glass of red wine in your hand. You can trace the outline of his lips with your finger…

You have to stop. You don’t even know the guy.

Shaking your head and taking a breath, you turn the volume knob down on the Fender and pluck absentminded, entertaining your fingers and your mind with something else besides him.

✿ ✿ ✿

“You meant to tell me,” he pauses for dramatic effect, leaning up against your green room doorway, “You’re dressed like a hippie, you’re a rockstar, playing Hendrix, and you haven’t smoked weed?” he grins wickedly, “What the hell have you been doing?”

“I am not a rockstar,” you blush, hung up on his choice of words. He seems to steal your confidence, you notice.

“Did you see the arena of people? Are you not playing rock music to them?”

“He’s got a point, babe,” Paisley chimes in as she puts her boots on.

Jake points a finger gun at her, “See?”

“They’re here for you,” you insist, messing with a strand of your hair in the mirror. You put more tinted chapstick on, fussing nervously over nothing. It was always like this before you went on—a healthy anxiety.

“They’re there for good music. And they love your music,” he raps his fingers on the doorframe, “This isn’t the point—you haven’t smoked weed?”

You shake your head at his question as you wipe at your eyeshadow.

You’re not sure, at this point, how you landed on the subject. Paisley had said something about needing a joint before the show as a joke, Jake had wandered by the room to say hi and picked up on the conversation, and then an offhand comment from you had piqued his interest.

“Is this some kinda trick to get me to give you free weed?” he asks.

You look over at him and he’s grinning. You laugh.

“I could buy my own weed if I wanted, thank you very much,” you joke back.

“Well, I have some already. After the show, join me?” He asks, patting the tops of his thighs. He always looks so damn good in black jeans. He’s got on his jacket for the show already, a new fringe-lined one with gold accents.

You mull his request over for a moment, more nervous about the prospect of getting high with him than you are about actually getting high.

“We have another show tomorrow. What if it hurts my throat?”

“Oh my god,” he groans, “You’re in more desperate need than I thought.”

You’re slightly embarrassed you may have annoyed him and fall silent, opting to adjust the bell-sleeved shirt you have on.

“I’m kidding,” he grins, “You really do need to try it though. Just once.”

“I guess,” you say, trying to sound more casual than you feel, “Want me to come by the bus?”

“Yeah, or our green room.”

You nod and look over to Paisley, “Y’ready?” you smile.

“Hell yeah,” She beams. She jumps up from the couch and spins a drumstick in her hand.

“I’ll see ya later, then,” You smile at Jake.

He nods, “See ya later,” he smiles softly and spins on his heel, leaving for his own green room.

“So,” Paisley smacks her gum, “What the hell is going on there?” She shoves your shoulder playfully and grins wildly, “You hooking up with Jake Kiszka and not telling me?”

“God, no, what?” The question makes you blush furiously and you’re almost irritated at her for asking it so close to when you should be going on.

“Oh, please,” she grabs her water bottle and takes a sip, “That was almost painful to witness.”

You shake your head and wave a hand at her, “It’s nothing. He’s just nice.”

“Well, he’s not asking me to meet him after the show to smoke,” she drums a bit on the side table absentmindedly.

“I’m sure you could join,” you avoid her point, “You like weed. Wanna come?”

“No thanks, I don’t really wanna watch you two make out. Have fun, though, babe,” she smacks your ass on her way out the door and you follow, albeit with a scandalized look on your face.

Making your way down the short hall to the stage, you can hear the subtle roar of the crowd, and you focus on rehearsing the lyrics of the first song instead of her accusation.

✿ ✿ ✿

The guys exit the stage with the same enigmatic energy as usual, leaving the crowd cheering and the space full of a cosmic energy.

You leave your spot side stage and make your way over to their green room, having already changed into your casual clothes for the evening.

As you approach the room, the nerves that wash over you make you feel stupid.

It’s a harmless little crush, and you know nothing will become of it. He flirts with everyone; you’ve seen it even in the short time you’ve been touring. Three shows in, and every person you’ve witnessed him speak to seems smitten. He’s charming and confident. That’s all there is to it.

You take a deep breath, coming to your senses a bit. He is just a boy who plays guitar.

Josh pops out of the room first, curls wild and skin still sweaty.

“Oh, hey,” he flashes you a bright smile, “You can go in there if you need,” he waves at the green room as he skirts off.

You enter hesitantly, taking in the smell of incense and ginger tea.

Quickly, you realize the whole ‘this isn’t a big deal, he’s just a boy’ mindset isn’t really going to help.

Jake is shirtless, tying the front of a pair of black linen pants. Even though he’s practically shirtless all the time, it’s different. Almost intimate.

Then, you see Sam, who is tugging a hoodie over his head.

“Hey!” Jake beats you to the punch, greeting you with a wide smile, “How was the show?”

You swallow, trying not to look at his bare chest as he reapplies deodorant. Sam gives a wave and a soft smile and leaves the room.

“Our set or yours?” you say to Jake’s question.

“Either,” he grins, “Both.”

“Ours went well. Carol’s keys stopped working for a second but,” you shrug, “I played over it. Went just fine.”

“That’s good,” he grabs a dark red t-shirt that had laid over the stool in front of him and tugs it over his head.

“You all were very good as usual,” you can’t hide your demure smile.

“Yeah?” he grins and grabs his jacket, putting it on a hanger and in the case, “What’s your favorite part?”

You mull over the options and finally settle on one, “One of your solos, probably. Love a good solo.”

“Which one?” he grins, a little cocky. Admittedly, he should be. He fucking kills on guitar.

“Edge of Darkness,” you answer softly.

“Yes,” he hisses, “That’s my favorite, too.”

You laugh a bit awkwardly and watch as he gathers his things.

“Let’s go do this thing, doll,” he grins and heads towards the door, and like a love-smitten puppy, you follow behind.

It occurs to you somewhere between leaving the venue and getting into the hotel elevator with him that maybe you have misread the situation. The tension in the air is palpable as you wait for the elevator to get to the 10th floor.

Maybe, just maybe, the hot, world class guitarist who flirts with everyone does not have such innocent intentions; maybe he’s just trying to hook up. Paisley may have been onto something.

Maybe it was naive to think you could go back to his hotel room in an innocent fashion. You’re a pretty girl his age, and he’s a flirt.

You’re considering making an exit and heading to your own hotel for the evening when he steals you out of your thoughts with a soft,

“Hey.”

Your head snaps up to meet his gaze. You raise a brow.

“You look a little nervous,” he grins, “It’ll be safe with me, y’know.”

You must look lost, because he adds,

“Smoking.”

You nod, chewing on your lip.

He doesn’t mean it that way—the way that makes your heart thrum. It doesn’t matter, you feel your cheeks heat all the same.

“And you don’t have to,” he holds the elevator door open as you step out, “You can just sit with me if you want. Play some guitar.”

You shrug, a bit unsure of everything all at once, but too damn encapsulated by his presence to leave.

“We’ll see,” you offer gently, “You have soda in your mini fridge? I’d kill for a coke.”

He nods and smiles, opening the hotel room door for you. It smells like he showered right before the show, with a tinge of humidity and shampoo still hanging in the air.

“Yeah, doll,” he says, “I’ll grab ya one.”

“You sure you can smoke in here?” You grin, sitting on the edge of the bed, “Might get in trouble.”

“Ooh,” he smiles, “Sounds like fun.”

You laugh and roll your eyes as he hands you a coke. You mumble a thank you and try to make yourself relax. And then you realize, maybe weed would help.

“I hope it’s alright, being here. I don’t…” he licks his lips and cracks a sprite can open for himself, sitting on the edge of the opposite bed. He continues,

“I know you’re, like, a professional, and you’re opening for us. I’m not trying to, like…” he looks uncomfortable for the first time, glancing down at his shoes, “…take—take advantage—”

“It’s okay,” you don’t let him finish the thought, “I’m here on my own accord,” you grin, “Don’t give yourself too much credit.”

Ok, so maybe he wasn’t trying to make a move. You decide to try and table your nerves, to try and stop controlling or reading into the circumstance, and just try to go with it. It’s not like he’s stripped away your free will; you could leave at any time.

“Fair enough,” he smiles back. There’s a brief silence and then he pulls his phone out. “I don’t watch movies when I smoke, I just like music. That alright?”

You nod. You wouldn’t know what you prefer, and are just fine letting him lead.

The first song that plays from his phone is Hendrix, which makes you smile.

“You like that?” he grins at you as he stands to make his way to his suitcase.

“Mmhm,” you exhale, “Comforting.”

“Wait til you’re high,” he pulls a small tin out of his bag and saunters to the light switches, turning off the overhead light and leaving the two lamps to brighten the room. He finally walks over to sit on the couch at the other end of the suite, “It’ll sound even better.”

“Music?” you ask.

“Mhm,” he nods, opening the tin and pulling out a joint and a lighter, “You can hear everything better. It’s nice.”

You nod and watch him light up. If you didn’t have a crush on him before, you certainly would now.

He looks incredibly cool, and admittedly sexy, pursing his lips around the joint, his brow a little furrowed as he tokes on it. Finally, he takes a deep hit and leans back on the couch, closing his eyes as he holds it, and then releasing a puff of smoke into the air.

You take a long drink of your soda to try and hide your dumbstruck expression.

“Oh, shit,” he smiles, “Forgot to turn the vent on.”

“Like that’ll help,” you joke, standing to go flip the bathroom vent on. His toiletries are few, but lined neatly by the sink, and you find it endearing.

“Thanks, doll,” he calls from the couch.

When you come back into the room, he offers a soft smile, “Wanna join?”

Hesitantly, you nod. He’s kicked his shoes off, revealing short socks with polka-dot print. You find that endearing, too.

“C’mere,” he pats the other end of the sofa. It doesn’t look too comfy—a stiff sort of corporate fabric. But it’s inviting nonetheless with him sitting on it.

Taking a breath and another sip of your drink, you make your way over and sit beside him while he takes another hit. His phone balances on the couch arm, bleeding into the next song.

“This your playlist?” You ask with a grin. He pivots his body toward you a bit and nods, handing you the joint.

You feel suddenly inexperienced and unsure; you know in theory how to smoke, you’ve had a drunken cigarette here and there, but never this.

“Just breathe in a little bit, not too much,” he coaxes. He takes a sip of his soda, but his eyes stay on you. “It’s fine if you cough,” he grins, “don’t worry about it.”

You nod and summon all the courage you have, taking a hit off of it. The smoke is warm in your throat, and it takes a conscious effort to inhale it without choking.

You pass it back to him and he grins as you exhale. You immediately take a drink, hoping it’ll calm the fire in your chest, and it mostly works. A couple of short coughs rack you, but then it’s over.

He gives you a small nod and a reassuring grin as he exhales.

“We don’t wanna get you too high. That’s when it’s not fun,” he smiles, “You can probably take a few little hits and be alright.”

He passes the joint back to you and you hit it again, repeating the process.

“Nice,” he murmurs the praise as you hand it back to him. He ashes it on the lid of his empty soda and holds it with a poised hand, letting the smoke trail into the air.

Already, your head feels a bit woozy, but you think that may have something to do with how he looks.

His hair is messy and still drying from its sweat-drenched state after the show. He looks incredible in the maroon shirt and linen pants. Relaxed, but cool. And almost soft…

“Feel anything?” He grins.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you nod, “A little.”

“Good,” he pats your knee once and then stands, pacing to the other end of the room. He fetches the guitar case that you hadn’t noticed in the corner and plops it on the extra bed in the room.

“Gotta teach me Little Wing, remember?” He grins as he heads back to the couch with the worn acoustic.

“Might be a little hard on acoustic,” you smile.

“Nah,” he smiles wide, and you wonder if it has to do with the guitar. It’s an endearing thought, that just holding the instrument could make him happier.

“And might be hard to do if I’m high,” you giggle.

He laughs as he sits beside you, just a bit closer so he’s comfortable with the guitar on his lap.

“It’ll be alright, I tried it the other night. I know the song well, just haven’t really played it,” he looks to you with his white teeth bared in a grin, “Just need you to give me pointers.”

You consider protesting for a moment; pointing out that he’s much better at guitar than you. But you know he knows that already, so maybe you should just go along with it.

He hits “pause” on the music playing on his phone and begins to pluck at the guitar, and instantly you can’t stop the smile that takes over your expression. His playing is beautiful.

It’s certain, then, that he is only being kind asking for you to help him—he plays expertly, something that might even make Hendrix proud.

“Jake.”

it comes out in a sigh on accident; far more breathy and dreamy than you’d intended.

He looks to you, continuing to play, and quirks an eyebrow.

“You’re just—“ you wave a hand into the air, “You’re great.”

“Thanks,” he smiles, “It’s my job, ya know. I’d be kind of a sham if I sucked at it.”

You laugh, beginning to feel light and easy. You can’t recall why you would have been nervous, and everything feels very present.

“This is the part I’m hung up on—” he plays a little riff of the solo, “—I don’t feel like that’s…” he shakes his head and plays it again.

You laugh, “I had the same exact issue when I learned it.”

Sitting up, you grin and lean over him, so you can point at the fretboard. “Try an open B instead, and then, yeah—”

He plays it again with the adjustment, and you realize how close you are to him. You can feel his body heat.

“Do you hit here, or slide?” he murmurs, pointing at a string as he moves his left hand.

“Slide. And I know you always bend down,” you giggle, “But try up,”

He looks at you with a grin, “Observant little thing, you are, huh?”

The comment catches you off guard and you laugh and offer a shrug as an answer. You lean back and watch him try again, and just like that, it seems he has mastered it.

He winds down the song and looks at you.

“You wanna play?”

You shake your head and take a final sip of your drink before setting on the side table. “All you.”

He nods and plays something else, one you don’t recognize, but it’s pleasant all the same.

Then, he hits ‘play’ on his phone again, and the playlist resumes. He plucks along with the song far too well for it being his presumable first try.

“Pretty.” you say, surprising yourself. It is, though.

“Can’t take all the credit,” Jake grins and pats the guitar body, “She does a lot of the work.”

You giggle again and he looks to you and chuckles back, and you think you get it now—the appeal to being high.

Maybe you’re not in another dimension, but you definitely feel something. Things have slowed, and you can’t remember what you started giggling at, and you’re unsure why you feel like giggling again.

Jake seems to notice, and he offers a wide smirk. “How we doing?”

“Great,” you sigh, “Do you do smoke often?”

“Mmhm,” he sets the guitar down, propping it up in the corner, and nods, “Like, most days of the week.”

You nod, “I see why.”

“Wanna little more? Not too much, one more hit?”

It sounds nice, you can’t resist. You nod and pivot yourself on the couch, resting against the corner of it with one of your legs tucked up, your body tilted towards him.

He reaches to the side table and grabs the joint and lighter, lighting up and toking on it until the end burns orange-red.

“For you,” he passes it to you and exhales his own smoke.

You take another hit, a bit deeper, and with your body relaxed it seems easier to inhale.

He gets up again as you hold the joint and exhale.

“Want a drink?” He offers, grabbing himself a water from the fridge.

“Sure, water’s good,” you smile.

He brings back both bottles and takes a seat again beside you. After he hands your bottle to you, he rests his head against the back of the couch and takes a deep breath. When his eyes open to yours, the lids are a bit heavier.

“Hello,” he smiles.

“Hey,” you giggle.

“Listen to this,” he grins and reaches for his phone, turning the volume up.

You get it: the guitar melody pours and ribbons through the air around you, heavy and velvety. You can hear each intricacy, and it’s encapsulating.

“Damn,” you smile, “That is…”

He nods in agreement, “Music’s just better high.” He takes a deep breath “Everything’s better high, honestly. Food, music, movies, art, sex,” else shrugs, “What’s not to love.”

You laugh and try not to think too hard about his mention of sex. Instead, you watch him close his eyes again and take a deep breath.

He’s about three feet away on the couch, but you can clearly see the details on his face, now that you have time to slow down and look.

His eyelashes are dark, his skin is tan. And there’s subtle freckles dotting his cheek. Not a plethora, just a few here and there. But they’re charming.

You don’t notice that his eyes have opened.

“Whatcha looking at?” he grins.

“Oh…” you blink, clearing your mind, “Sorry.”

“No, I’m asking,” he smiles wider, “It’s alright. What caught your eye?”

“Your freckles,” you answer honestly.

He chuckles, “I barely have freckles, doll.”

Without thinking, you lean in and touch a few of them. He giggls again, and it makes you laugh. Despite the general easygoing feeling, you still say sorry, realizing it may have been a bit much.

“It’s okay,” he grins, “Weed makes me touchy, too,”

Your cheeks flush with embarassment—fuck, you should really get it together.

“Hey,” he seems to notice you’ve gone silent, “I’m probably, like, the least judgemental person ever. I really don’t mind.”

“Mm?” you hum, drawing your band back to yourself and taking a sip of your water.

“See?” He reaches over and touches a strand of hair by your face, “And no one died. It’s all good.” He laughs, which further relieves the tension. You giggle with him.

You bite your lip and relish the soft touch. The warmth in your cheeks is inevitable.

“Your hair is soft,” he mutters. The soft touch tickles at your scalp and makes you smile.

“This alright?” he nods towards his hand. You nod back.

“C’mere,” he pats his thigh, “Lay your head down, I’ll play with your hair.”

“Are you…” you start to question it, because this whole thing is bizarre, but the floaty, touch-driven mood you’re in interrupts the thought. You can’t be bothered to care if you should or shouldn’t. You want to, and that’s enough.

He smiles as you shift to lay on the couch, placing your head on his thigh near his knee.

The music plays through the speakers like honey over ice, cool and slow, and you feel so entirely at peace. His hands work languidly through your hair, splaying it out over his lap.

“I didn’t think you’d be like this,” you murmur, the words slurred.

“Hmm?” he prompts you to explain. When you look up at him, his eyelids are heavy. He looks cute and sleepy.

“So…gentle,” you giggle.

“Why’s that?” He laughs too. Everything seems funny for no reason.

“The way you play…it’s almost aggressive, and you’re very…you’re usually very confident. I just…”

You’re finding it hard to choose words that reflect what you mean. You opt for a shrug and let your eyes flutter shut as he runs his fingers over your scalp.

“I think you’d know of anyone that I’m not only aggressive when I play,” he answers.

You crack one eye open and look up at him, and somehow even from this angle, which should be unflattering, he looks beautiful.

“I think it’s dynamic,” he continues, “I think I’m quite reserved sometimes, especially on the acoustic.”

“Mm,” you nod, “That’s fair. I dunno,” you sigh, “You’re kind of cocky. I didn’t think you had a gentle side.”

It’s blunt, but it’s the truth, and the words come out before you can stop them.

He laughs, “You‘ve been watching me, huh?”

“I…” you’re blushing and you can’t hide it, “Yeah.”

“Hmm,” he’s humming again, “S’okay. I watch you, too.”

“Oh really?” you find yourself smiling, “And what do you see?”

He giggles. His fingers work softly through a tangle in your hair.

“You should ask me when I’m not high,” he grins, “I might be a bit more eloquent,”

“I think I’m alright with the layman’s answer, Shakespeare,” you laugh and look up at him, “Lay it on me.”

“Well—I just. I don’t know how to do it justice,” he sighs, “You’ve got this…aura…” he reaches his free hand out into the air and wiggles his fingers, “It’s something…I just find myself intrigued by it.”

You’re taken aback by the tenderness of his answer. You’d fully expected him to just say you were hot, or something. His subversion of your expectations is enticing, and now you want to unravel him even more.

“What color is it?” You grin.

“Hmm, doll?” he asks, looking down at you. His eyes are red, and his lips dark pink from nibbling them.

“My aura,” you giggle, “What color?”

“Oh,” he grins, “Hmm…orange. And a little yellow. Like a sunset,”

With that, you’re overcome with the urge to lean up and kiss him, out of nowhere like a sudden wind. You refrain, taking a breath.

“What color’s mine?” he grins down at you.

Your eyes flit over him, trying to find an answer. You hadn’t thought about it before, but as you stare at him, it seems obvious

“Cherry red,”

“Hmm,” He turns the thought over in his head.

“Like your guitar,” you point out.

“Ah,” he smiles, “Fair.”

You giggle again, and then he does too, and it devolves into nonsensical sort of laughter. Finally, it calms down, and you sit up, letting his hand fall from your hair and back into his lap. As dreamy as the evening has been, it has to come to an end at some point.

“Glad you tried it?” He asks, his voice a little raspier than previously.

“Mmhm,” you nod and reach for your water.

“There’s an extra bed,” he nods to the other mattress, “You’re welcome to stay if you need, if you don’t wanna go back to your hotel.

“Thank you,” you smile, “But I’d better go. I had a fun night.”

He nods and smiles, offering his hand to help you stand up. You wobble, more affected by the drug while standing.

“Easy, tiger,” he giggles as you steady yourself. Finally, he stands with you and takes a breath. “Lemme give you my number so you can text me when you get back safe.”

After a stuttering breath you agree, handing him your phone so he can type it in.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow, then? Or around?”

You nod, “Around.”

He reaches out, and you realize he’s offering a hug. It’s brief, so brief, but he’s so warm and he smells of weed and cologne and shampoo, and you wish you didn’t have to pull away.

“Alright, then,” he smiles, “Text me when you’re back safe. See ya ‘round.”

✿ ✿ ✿

taglist <3

@starshine-wagner @dannywagners-chesthair @writingcold @kels-gvf @aconfusedhippie @fearless-wanderer @greenrubbersoul @thehourbeforesunrise @madz-0217 @gretavanbitches @doodle417 @rhythm-of-space @milkgemini @st4rdust-ch0rds @thegardensgate @myownparadise96 @gretavanfleas @josh-iamyour-mama @spark-my-nature @saltydogkiszka @jordierama @sammiejane22 @jakekiszkastaurussuit @jake-kiszkas-smirk @babyhoneygvf @gabyvanfleet @gretavanslut @dannyandthekiszkas @freckled-wonderland @haley1623 @objectsinspvce @sammyfuckingkiszka @why-ami-on-here @kay-jordan @pr41sethemoon @watchingovergvf2

#gvf fic #gvf fanfiction #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fics #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka x reader

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a-luran · 9 months

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Oh my gosh I want to know more about all of them but in particular the Kirkland revivals band sounds very intriguing and is giving me visions of the bros in a band and I am losing my mind 👀 and PLEASE I need to know more about the werewolf au

phi-phil! hello! it is in fact a band fic like the title implies. I may posted a bit about it before but in essence:

Sean, Alasdair, Rhys and Arthur all grow up on the road and on top of each other, all of them the children of legacy folk musicians from across the UK. Sean and Alasdair are part of the older lot of children kicking about, doing odd jobs until Sean graduates into performing backing vocals and instrumentals when he vaults over seventeen. Alasdair could be doing the same if he wanted to, he certainly has the voice and the composition skill, but he is finds his niche in their mismatched community as a technician; a jack of all trades with a technical degree. Arthur spends his early teenage years watching Alasdair fix and carry equipment like it weighs nothing and learns something that tastes a lot like craving. Something more visceral than longing. Rhys is an easy child, stubborn and well loved although comes up chaffing against the constant travel. They grow up around each other, on top of each other, camper vans and sleeping bags under nylon, under the stars. They are a good draw together, talented and brought up like kin. They have never known anything except this; the road, the music, and each other.

(And what Arthur treasures most: the mornings when he slips into Alasdair's camper to share his warmth. The evenings when Alasdair will tune his violin for him and strum along on his guitar to whatever Arthur composes, slowly coming into his own as a musician. This fic is not scoteng-centric exactly, but it does take a shine on his relationship with Alasdair especially. And his journey as a trans man and a singer.)

A lot of things come to head and inevitably the band falls apart. Rhys applies to university and gets in, and although he only tells Arthur it puts a strain on his relationship with everyone. Sean is constantly fighting the people who manage them, for valid reasons but also partly because he is on a warpath after his biological father contacts him. Alasdair is getting more and more responsibilities piled on him under the guise of 'we are all family here; surely this is not labour exploitation'; they barely see his hide around. What deals the final blow is when Arthur comes into rehearsals one morning, a few months shy of eighteen, with his hair shorn off. He'd spent some three years at that point negotiating how he presented when it was just 'their family' and being pressured to keep up appearances when performing. Rhys having the courage to apply for uni is what tips him off, that and the realisation that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life pretending he isn't a man just to save face. And now, Arthur has always been headstrong but the way he shouts back that day when their 'manager' confronts him is the end of it. Alasdair misses the shouting match and only realises that Arthur finally cut his hair when Arthur comes to find him after his nights shift. He cards his fingers through the choppy nape of his neck and doesn't know what to say. His silence is plenty though, and Arthur makes up his mind.

He prepares, sees his eighteenth quietly, and three weeks later he is gone. Slips away early in the morning and takes only what he can carry with him. Clothes that belonged to each of them; Sean's fiddle. What little cash he has to his name.

The rest of the fic follows him as he busks his was from the UK to Nashville. Francis takes him on as a manager and helps set him up and support his gender transition with gigs. The others don't hear from him until Rhys does a mad dash to the radio when he recognises Arthur's voice crooning form an ocean away. I honestly love thinking about this fic and I spend a lot of time just adding songs to a playlist for it.

The werewolf AU was born from an extremely self indulgent idea. It is 60% smut, 25% fighting 15% more smut. Alasdair and Arthur grow in a group home but become estranged by well over a decade after Arthur runs away. The both end up resenting and missing each other by equal parts. Alasdair is attacked by a werewolf while he's out in the woods one night and with his body spiralling out of control the only person he can think of (and that he instinctively seeks out) is Arthur who has been carving out a life for himself. Francis is a necromancer living across the street from him in this one and again 10/10 just pure self-indulgence on my part.

Thank you for asking about these! I'm so happy to talk about them.

#scoteng #freagradh

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viaviv124 · 4 months

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For the like 3 people out there who know the song "Alice Human Sacrifice" and are also familiar with Mario the Music Box, i made a casting for who's which Alice and will give my reasonings because i'm obsessed.

Alice nr. 1 - Alice Aduraice

It's the most on-the-nose one for me because the story is literally almost exactly like in the game. The first Alice was murdering everyone in her way so the forest decided to lock her up to make sure everyone forgets she ever existed. Alice has literally the same Story. She murdered everyone in her house only to be killed by Riba and trapped in the music box by Anna, who hoped no one would ever find and free Alice.

Alice nr. 2 - Riba Aduraice

He doesn't fit as perfectly but he's also the only choice i have for this role, he does still fit great though. The second Alice was just a guy who sang songs to the people, except they got progressively more insane and then either he was shot or he shot himself, the translations differ, and the people absolutely loved him and his death. Riba, both in the past and present time, starts out as a normal guy but he also progressively shows more of his insanity, dying in pretty much almost every ending too.

Alice nr. 3 - Len & Layla

This was arguably the hardest for me to figure out because this also fits Alice and i couldn't think of another fit. Then i thought of these two and they just share nr 3 now. The third Alice was a beauty through and through, manipulating and deciving (and seducing according to some translations) her way to be the queen of wonderland, creating her own country. She kept having strange dreams and began to fear her life to a psychotic degree, causing her to crave immortality (or just gain it, again, wonky translations) and be forced to rule for eternity. Now, Len and Layla definetly don't go that deep. Len is simply "in charge" of the curse in Evangeline, making sure everything happens over and over again in a timeloop (unless you don't save), as well as being the one to give Marchionne the power to be reborn, baiscally making her the "queen". Layla, at least in the first game, speaks to Riba constantly, both guiding and mocking him. She also functions as a sort of backseat for when you go to certain area's you're not supposed to because you might be stuck. Can be seen sweettalking so i guess you can take und that as 'deciving'? I don't know, just squint your eyes, i'm working with scraps here.

Alice nr. 4 - Mario & Luigi

Originally i wanted to put Marchionne and Luciano here also but listening again it's definetly only Mario and Luigi. The 4th Alice is a pair of twins exploring wonderland together, just having fun. However, as they're nearing the first Alice (there's other translations for this part too but this one is specifically the one i connect to them rn) they die because the brother killed the sister (at least in the music video, i am still not quite sure what happens), trapping them in Wonderland forever. This one is also simple and easy to link. Mario and Luigi come to the mansion, Mario picks up the music box, gets possessed by Alice and kills Luigi, effectively trapping them both forever in the mansion and by extension in Evangeline.

#mario the music box #mario the music box arc #alice aduraice #mtmb #mtmb alice #riba aduraice #riba #alice #alice human sacrifice #mtmb riba #mario #luigi #smb #super mario bros #mtmb len #mtmb layla #vocaloid

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alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice · 8 days

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My Gale obsession has progressed to playlist creation - something no individual character has achieved before - list of songs and their justifications for being included below the cut

Wizard of Waterdeep - the song was literally written about him it's going in

The Moon Will Sing - a song about being overshadowed by the one you love, always living for them rather than having your own life, apt for Gale's relationship with Mystra

Icarus - "Look who's digging their own grave/that is what they all say", "Icarus is flying too close to the sun/ and Icarus's life it has only just begun" a young Gale who is voraciously devouring every tome he can get his hands on, creating new spells, constantly pushing his limits again and again

Constellations - a song about the tower of Babel (an act of reaching for the heavens) only to fail and lose connection and communication, trying to grasp at meaning in the meaningless

Abigail's Song (Silence is all you know) - "When you're alone silence is all you know/ Let in the noise and let it grow" "When you're alone, silence is all you see/ when you're alone silence is all you'll be" representative of Gale's isolation in the aftermath of the orb, and clawing his way back to living again

Bitter Water - "I am not a fool entire/ no I know what's coming/ you'll bury me beneath the tree I climbed when I was a child/ I know I shouldn't love you/ I know I shouldn't love you but I do" the singer reflects on an abusive relationship, how it would lead to killing them but they still cannot fully let it go.

Venus - I love using astronomy imagery for Gale, especially given the way I've flavored my Tav romancing him. This is where he's opening up to new love, feeling like someone sees him, the man, rather than the great wizard.

Achilles Come Down - "You crave the applause/ yet hate the attention/ then miss it your act is a ruse" this song is the battle of his own desire to fulfill his goddess's wish of martyring himself and Tav's (and perhaps his own self preservation) saying that there is more to life and it is better to live

Cosmic Love - "The stars the moon/ they have all been blown out/ you left me in the dark" many potential meanings! Gale being abandoned by his goddess? Tav mourning that he left them for martyrdom?

As the World Caves In - "And here it is, our final night alive/ and as the earth burns to the ground/ oh girl it's you that I lie with" he conjures the stars because it might be his last night alive and he wants to spend it with Tav I have so many feelings

Wash My Dreams Away - the music that plays when he takes Tav to the astral plane!

Witchcraft - the comparison of falling in love to enchanting magic was too perfect to not include

Weaving Magic and Making Potions - there are no lyrics to this song, but it's all magical sounding and it's weaving magic yes I put this in as a pun

Mouth of the River - "I wanna live like that/ live the life of the faithful one/ wanna bow to floor/ with everyone else/ wanna be someone [...] oh it's the curse of the man/ I was living life living life/ living just to please" the contrast between wanting to be faithful, have a purpose, but also wanting to be the best, wanting to be loved for what you can do

Measure of a Man - "the measure of a man/ stands or falls with what he leaves behind/ gather on the sand / let your voices carry to the sky / let the gods look down on this and wonder" this is just the vibes. Tell me you can't imagine this playing as Gale sacrifices himself at the final battle with the Absolute. The gods look down and wonder why he refused to do this for his goddess, but chose to do this for those he leaves behind - his friends.

Fair - this whole song embodies the vibes of a romance with Gale. "it's not fair you make me laugh when I'm really cross with you" or the juxtoposition of this eternal devotion with the mundanity of love. Gale's romance is about loving him for the man he is, not the magic he wields - there is life changing devotion in the romance yes, but they are also just two mortals who love each other.

The Tower - "Got a neck so strong for the crown upon your head/ Don't think anyone will leave it when you're dead / There's a throng of men mightier than you / And they're waiting and they're watching 'til they fill your shoes" This suits his ending as god of ambition like, he's literally inspiring others to follow in his footsteps as someone who ascended to godhood! His power is in the crown of Karsus which a bunch of people wanted to get their hands on! His own followers are gonna be the type to try to usurp him just you wait

Slow Burn - "I don't have to die for you to love me" a love that comes after one fraught with expectations and pain, realizing that you don't have to martyr yourself to be loved by this person, you can just be with each other. This is his good ending, a slow burn and a gentle life.

I Want to Live - some may say this is Astarion's song, some may say it's Tav's, I think it belongs to all the companions. They're brought together by that need to live. They want, they have to survive this, and survive this they do.

#Spotify #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios playlist #baldur's gate 3 playlist #fan playlist #alls fair creations

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thesakuragarnet · 6 months

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Hi! (First Post I guess) MASTER LIST LINKED BELOW KEEP READING!

Hello! I'm Sakura_Garnet and I am chronically obsessed with My Hero Academia, specifically the Keeping Up With The Todoroki's subplot. I exclusively write Dabi/Toya Todoroki-centered fanfiction, ranging from angst to fluff to smut and various combinations. I have a few finished fanfictions and a LOT of WIPs, as well as a plethora of "oneshots" for various AU's. The majority of my writing is done on AO3, but I double post a few of my big works on wattpad. I am constantly listening to music, and most of my fics have been inspired by songs and albums. I have so so SO many headcanons for MHA/BNHA, and feel very strongly about DabiHawks/TouKei as you will see from the majority of my writings. I have ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and try my best to relay my experiences with these neurodivergencies in a few of my works. My main fic that is my pride and joy is PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU, which covers 14 years of Toya Todoroki's life in an alternate universe (ages 16 to 30 to be exact) . If you do choose to read it, please mind the tags and the AO3 author's notes as it does deal with some heavy content (I tend to max out the tags on the majority of my works bc a bitch is nothing if not thorough). I don't know how much I'll be active on here, but I'm excited!

As always

The Past Never Dies,

Sakura_Garnet

Master List (and my universes) 1 8 + ONLY

(Disclaimer: I curse like a sailor in real life so pretty much all fics have some form of swearing in them in some form or fashion. I tag my fics extensively, please pay attention to the tags listed in each fic as I will not be listing them here. Summaries and taglists will be on the links for each fic <3 fics with a sole focus on sm*t will be labeled smvtfics, but that doesn't necessarily mean that unlabeled ones do not have sm*t in them. Some links will take you to tumblr, but not everything is posted on here, so some will go straight to the AO3 fic.)

DabiHawks

- PHOENIX AU

PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU

Private Hero Training Academy : PHOENIX AU Spinoff

Fire in My Veins

I'm Not Okay, I Promise

Separate Ways

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE (I WANNA BE YOUR MASTER) (smvtfic)

The Tape (smvtfic)

Perfectly Good At It (smvtfic)

HONEY (ARE U COMING?) (smvtfic)

-Fantasy AU

Flames of Fate

Your Body Is My Temple (smvtfic)

-Civilian Social Worker Toya X Pro Hero Hawks AU

It's Dangerous To Go Alone

Pillow Talk (smvtfic)

Grand Gestures

Light as a Feather (smvtfic)

Meet The Todoroki's

Home Late (smvtfic)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Villain Hawks (Talons)

And when he touched him he turned ruby red (smvtfic)

bad idea right (smvtfic)

When we're staring at the ceiling (smvtfic)

-Quirkless College TouKei AU

Pent-Up (smvtfic)

-The Mean Girls AU

On Wednesdays We Wear Black

-THE VOID (Not the canon timeline necessarily but something in between)

We Were Just Kids

Easier Than Lying

Distracted (smvtfic)

One Stupid Phrase (smvtfic)

Touch-Starved

I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All (smvtfic)

My Eden (smvtfic)

What The Heart Wants

Conjugal Visit (short smvtfic with a LOT of plot)

that one Rihanna song

Flecks of Gold

Dabi X OC

-The FIREPROOF/ANARCHY saga (Dabi X Sakura)

A Mission

FIREPROOF

ANARCHY (apocalypse AU)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Pro Hero Sakura AU

Playing With Fire: A Pro Hero Dabi AU

The Limo Scandal (Pro Hero Dabi X Mirko X Hawks smvtfic prequel)

-Touya X Dusk AU

His Ocean Eyes

First (smvtfic draft)

MISA! MISA! (smvtfic draft)

On the Clock (smvtfic spoiler)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Villain Sakura

Secondary Location

DABI X FEM! READER

Random Villain Fem! Reader X Dabi

Only Stops A Sentence (smvtfic)

Good Graces

Liquid Lust (smvtfic)

Left Behind

Support Course Graduate Fem! Reader X Dabi

Crimes Of Passion (smvtfic)

Carnal Addictions (smvtfic)

Deal With The Devil (smvtfic)

Spies AU

Say My F*cking Name (smvtfic)

The Band AU

Music Keeps Us Alive: College Band AU

Cravings (FTM DABI X TWICE SMVTFIC)

Random Dabi-centric (ish) Fics

The League Of Villain Go To Disney: A crackfic mini series for just good vibes (slight DabiHawks)

Birthday (LOV Found Family Vibes) (slight DabiHawks)

Savior Complex (Big Brother Dabi)

Here Be Dragons (Alt. Fantasy AU)

If I Had Been There (Dabi X Magne Angst)

Embers In The Dark (Dabi X Burnin' smvtfic)

#dabihawks #ao3 writer #ao3 #dabi #toukei #dabi x hawks #pro hero dabi #mirko #fanfic #my hero academia fanfiction #dabi fanfic #toya todoroki #touya todoroki #archive of our own

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z-mizcellaneous-z · 1 year

Note

Alright, Zay, first! How are you? Hope you're doing good!! ✨️

Second, for the ship ask, how about SeroRoki?

heyo kiya! i am surprisngly alive (i stayed up until 5 am rereading fanfics and then my mom woke me up at 8 am to help with breakfast lol). hope that you're doing well <33 /p

and now:

SEROROKI

Who’s the cuddler?

Todoroki, 100%. Once he is first exposed to physical affection (platonic in the beginning with friends and whatnot) he begins to crave it constantly. He's actually insatiable. When him and Sero get together and Sero is like "oh yeah i dont mind physical affection" Todoroki basically fuses with him at that point, clinging onto Sero like a koala almost 24/7.

Who makes the bed?

Todoroki. I like to think he's a very tidy person who can very easily fall into certain routines. Sero on the other hand has the take of "im gonna mess it up again anyways, why bother".

Who wakes up first?

I'd say Sero. I feel like he'd be the type to have a sleep schedule so fucked up that he'd find himself waking up pretty early. He also likes to wake up before Todoroki when they're sleeping in the same room together to shamelessly stare at Todoroki (his gaze is still a bit too intense for Sero to stare into for long periods of times, so he enjoys these quiet moments of tender fondness).

Who has the weird taste in music?

Todoroki. His playlist is literally any and every song anyone from class 1a has mentioned ever, which leads to going from a sad heartbreak song to screaming for three solid minutes.

Who is more protective?

They're equally protective of each other, though Sero is more protective in the emotional "protecting your feelings/heart from the cruelty of others" aspect, while Todoroki is more protective in the physical "protecting you from bodily harm" aspect.

Who sings in the shower?

Sero. I'd like to think he's a pretty decent singer, but doesn't like to show it off at all. Except with Todoroki, of course. During some of their cuddling sessions, Sero will hum random songs that always have a very soothing effect on Todoroki.

Who cries during movies?

Sero. Todoroki would be the type to go "they aren't real people, so these experiences aren't either. there's no need to get upset" while Sero sobs over Bambi's mom.

Who spends the most while out shopping?

Todoroki. He's filthy rich AND the youngest. Man has little to no sense of what is considered too expensive; he simply finds the highest possible quality product and buys it.

Who kisses more roughly?

Sero. I think in terms of kissing and any more "heated" aspects of physical affection, Sero is much more intense with it, while Todoroki's just trying his best to not accidentally set off his quirk.

Who is more dominant?

Sero. What about him *gestures at Todoroki* tells you that he'd top/dominate ever?

My rating of the ship from 1-10.

Even though they don't have that many moments in canon, their dynamic in canon-compliant things is so

SEND ME A SHIP AND ILL TELL YOU:

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giftcard-giveway2024 · 2 months

Text

A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.

I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.

I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.

I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.

A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.

It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.

A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.

I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.

There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.

One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.

I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.

I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.

So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.

Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one

#the owl house #across the spiderverse #succession #welcome home #wally darling #the mandalorian #ted lasso #taylor swift #super mario #star wars

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auniverseforgotten · 9 days

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17, 22, 24, and 25 for Salieri >:3c

HOHH MY BRAINROT IS FEASTING TODAY TY FOR THE ASK this one got long again whoops

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?

So as many people know I am a massive nerd and I have a million books on all sorts of things like architecture and fashion and music and advertisements throughout the years. And with how much impact Salieri had on music during his life I feel like he would love books like Music: The Definitive Visual History or Modern Music and After to see where music has gone.

NOW I DO RECOGNIZE THAT'S REALLY BORING THOUGH SO for the more fun answers!

Bookwise I feel like it would depend on what he was feeling? I will admit to being extremely biased but I think he would enjoy Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, to see all the evils of the world but also to see them righted, or at least confronted. Idk I feel like Salieri is so good at heart and all the suffering all the time that Chaldea has to face...would leave someone craving a 'good' end. Since we STILL DON'T GET THAT IN GAME :'D But also I think he reads a lot of fairy tales both because I HC him as friends with Andersen and, well, he must read his friend's work! And so that he has them memorized so he can tell the child servants in Chaldea a bedtime story/anytime story no matter whether he has the book with him or not. It also allows him to study fairy tale story structure so he can create his own stories for them.

TV Shows, MORE BIAS FROM ME INCOMING but because he shares his body with the Man in Grey and constantly has to battle with feeling like an impostor in an unfamiliar place, I feel like the unknown in shows like The Twilight Zone would really draw him in. He finds some peace with it. He will also absolutely bingewatch any wedding based show like Four Weddings or Say Yes to the Dress and he will be SO CATTY about the dresses people choose but the SECOND any of their family talk down to them he is fully backing the brides and their dress choices. While still mentioning things like "oh god not the appliques" and "sure, fine, you have a gorgeous tiny petite figure but fine, hide it in a cupcake made of lace, why not" because his hatred of people insulting the brides and making them cry does not override him cringing at their choices. If he watches Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids he tears almost EVERY dress to shreds because good lord WHY.

For movies, I think thrillers/early horror. Not any of that jumpscare stuff, but things like the House of Wax [Vincent Price version]. Showing horror within the hearts of people or that comes from Beyond, not the horror of AAA SCARY THING IN FACE MUSIC LOUD. Detective films as well, like Murder on the Orient Express [1970s] or any Holmes movie because he enjoys them and also it's fun [and maybe cute] to watch Holmes get frustrated or flustered at the interpretations of himself on screen [this also stands for tv shows]. He and Lobo also have movie nights to watch dog movies or animal documentaries.

22. Give us a headcanon for [character]

Oh no I have so many. So so many.

Okay well my big one is he basically sees Anastasia as his daughter. Even outside of the fics I've written/am writing where he had time to get to know her in LB1, there's something about seeing her after and seeing the scars that it's left on her that makes him approach her and offer her comfort. A scene in my head has been Anastasia being summoned, seeing where she is, and having a magic-fueled breakdown that nearly freezes the summon room solid. Salieri comes running from who knows where and just. Somehow talks her down. Bows to her, kisses her hand, speaks kindly and gently while treating her as one should a royal, until she's calmed down before showing her Novum Chaldea. After that they fall into a closer father-daughter relationship and Anastasia gets to let herself be a child when she's with him, she can be childish and loud and do what she likes and at least One person will love her regardless.

Related to that one, he has, at least mentally, adopted ALL of the child servants in Chaldea and he dotes on them hard. Sweets, stories, little concerts performed solely for them, taking the time to listen to their stories...you name it, he does it. He could be in a very serious meeting debriefing and if a child servant came to get him he would leave immediately no questions asked. The MC and Mash are NOT IMMUNE TO THIS. He and Lobo share custody of them, obviously.

I know it said one but I have so so many, another is that he and Hessian Lobo [yes both parts this time] are very close, and they can be found discussing things in sign language in small, quiet corners. When Lobo's grief and rage grow too strong for him and he begins howling throughout Chaldea, Salieri always comes running, coaxing him or both he and Hessian to the music room, avenger room, or his own room and playing for as long as he needs to to help soothe him.

ANOTHER ONE he loves to cook and bake but he's self conscious of it because he lives to compare himself truly so he worries he'll be in Emiya or Boudica's way. So he typically only slips into the kitchens late at night when no one else is there. Yes, the child servants have figured this out, and yes, they do show up for snacks or dessert. Mozart also discovered this on accident, but Salieri managed to keep his focus on cooking to avoid the intense Murder Thoughts. Mozart seemed to notice, so they didn't speak at all, just exist together on those nights.

This one I feel runs inline with game canon but he struggles with intrusive thoughts a lot, and given he was Italian in the 1700s-1800s, he was absolutely raised religious and absolutely taught that bad thoughts = bad person, so on top of the Man in Grey constantly thirsting for Mozart's murder he also struggles with other intense or mundane intrusive thoughts. There are many days when it is too hard for him to face the world because of them. Therapy would be good but I mean Kiara is Chaldea's only therapist I think AND UM, NO.

ONLY ONE MORE I PROMISE but I tend to headcanon that when he works himself hard as a servant/is critically damaged or possibly even dying, a lot more of Antonio Salieri comes out, and he is softer, more tired, less bent on revenge and hatred. This is due to the Man in Grey part of him being exhausted, since it does all the fighting, and thus he gets brief periods of Belonging in his body again. Yes he has sought out Mozart in those moments, yes it did crush them both. He can also fight through the hatred with his love for Mozart, so if Mozart is critically in danger, the 'kill Mozart' switch is forcefully flipped by himself to 'kill what is killing Mozart' switch.

24. What's your favourite thing about [character]?

I do know a lot of the things I enjoy exploring with him aren't canon, so to try and stay canon with him, hmm...I mean, he has a strong sense of duty. Just look at the end of lostbelt 1; he promised to play Twinkle Twinkle for the Yagas, and his spirit origin refuses to dematerialize until he does. But that's not really my favorite thing, just something I like, hmm...

HONESTLY probably how he looks; his color palette is just SO GOOD, his clothing detail is amazing, and all of his ascensions are so good? Usually I wind up having a favorite ascension to leave a character in, but with Salieri I like them all. I do leave him second ascension because I like seeing his armor appear all fancy but STILL. We have the Amadeus Alter first ascension with that COAT and MASK and it brings so much angst with it. Second ascension we have MAN IN SUIT and my favorite thing to put ANY character in is SUIT. And then final ascension oh my GOD his final ascension. The TEETH. The CLAWS. The QUESTIONABLE LEVEL OF REMAINING SANITY AND ORIGINAL SALIERI THAT IS LEFT. It's great for all levels of things and yes I am working on a fic where Mozart is fully horny for his third ascension and Salieri is HORRIFIED and CONFUSED and also into it and mad about it XD

Also his interlude...he is so good in his interlude...so kind...confirming all of my headcanons as true and real forever and ever UWU

25. What's your least favourite thing [character] said or did?

Hmmm I have a couple, I guess? This is my friend Wolfie's fault, but I am unreasonably fond of Phantom in FGO, so the fact that Salieri says they can't be in sync makes me SAD because Salieri wrote OPERAS and Phantom has the most incredible operatic range CMON TYPEMOON THEY COULD PERFORM OPERAS TOGETHERRRR and also I just like making servants be friends lmao so I would really like Phantom and Salieri bonding,,,but then I remember that line and I feel like I'm making Salieri too OoC

[Also why is Phantom not a berserker CMON LOOK AT SHINJUKU IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE]

And also like...look I love Marie, I do, but I don't get why he gets docile around her??? I just don't. Admittedly with how I HC him I forget that he's a grouchy angry deathman to everyone apparently, so maybe it's meant to show she's an exception, but...I still don't get it. I do fully see them being friends or a poly ship w/Mozart as well [and my god Mozart would be so possessive of them both it would be so fun] but I don't get the focus on him being docile around Marie. As if she wouldn't accept him in all his sharp yelly self uwu

Thanks so much for the ask!! <3 Original meme is: here in case anyone wants it or wants to ask me anything else!!

#solar screams #solar writes #THANKS SABU #fgo #salieri

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