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#but guess what i am also? always right. so. yeah. if something feels off its because it is. ☝️ stop beinf a dumb bitch like me and ignoring
misfortunegirl · 8 months
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anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈
#Im sorry im having a bad episode rn and am most likely going to be embarrassed but oh well. i need validation.#also im like mostly aware nobody gives a rats ass about me on here but . still.#theres like a tiny part of me that wishes theres a person on here that actually cares about me very deeply thoufh they dont show it#but also i get anxious when i remember that literally anyone can access my crazy ramblings.😀#/⁠╲⁠/⁠\⁠╭⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)⁠╮⁠/⁠\⁠╱⁠\#finak thoughts for now HOPEFULLY: if youre like me . listen to your intuition. its never been wrong for me. yes i feel crazy and paranoid#but guess what i am also? always right. so. yeah. if something feels off its because it is. ☝️ stop beinf a dumb bitch like me and ignoring#your intuition. dont be like me please. ive been aware about so many things way before they happened but always disregarded my suspicions#bitch my suspicions have never been wrong. those whove made me out a crazy paranoid bitch. EAT SHIT.#anywho anywho. if something feels off and wrong. its cause it is off and wrong. people cant be trusted ever. most suck . truthfully.#see this is why therapy doesnt work for me. unless ive written thoughts like these down these revelations come and go on ther own and in th#meantime im as dumb as a rock!!!! because i literally forget everything that ever happens to me#anyways. the verdict is. i need someone who is obsessed with me so that i can be obsessed with them without being made out to be crazy😌#i cant love normally because at the end of the day nothing about me is normal.#im unsatisfied because normal life doesn't fit me.#normal life is made for normal and sane people. not for weird bitches like me who share their delusional ramblings on Toomblr dot com.#thats actually a sort of. calming realization. im constantly trying to fit into the mold of a normal person#when clearly im not. ive neverbeen. ive turned out this way because everyone ostracized me for not being like them#well. suddenly i feel better. dont get me wrong i still hope theres at leasr one person on here whois madly inlove with me🥶#but yeag. im jughead coded at the end of the day. Riverdale writers found outt about me and were like lets makes jughead based on her is#no “is” .sorry#based off on actually. i know english well i swear
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luvsellie · 1 year
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PEOPLE WATCHING [j. maybank]
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pairing jj maybank x fem!reader
summary jj ignoring one of his friends is strange. and off-putting. so when he does it to you, argument ensues and indifferent confessions toward one another begin to spill.
warnings rafe being an ass, mentions of abuse, semi based on s1 ep5 but also not?? don’t expect anything regarding the obx plot, reader is in a similar situation to sarah and kie’s social standing (kook-turned-pogue) !
wc 3.1k
note this song just SCREAMS jj i couldn’t not write something inspired by it! also this man is so ‘angsty-love-confession-in-the-rain’ coded why didn’t the obx writers take that chance when they had it >:(
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you never thought you would see the day that jj deliberately ignored you. sure, he hated talking about his feelings, and he was too stubborn for his own good, but he had never once gone out of his way to avoid your presence. until now.
“he won’t even look at me,” you hissed at kie, eyes glued to the blond who maneuvered around groups of people, the tray in his hands lacking drinks. he had a smile on his face regardless, making small quips at people as he passed them.
kie huffed, moving her body to block off your view of jj. her lilac dress shimmered in the orange light as she said, “just give him some time. he’ll come around. he always does.”
you chewed on the inside of your cheek, spinning the ring on your index finger as you continued to try and get a clear view of him. “yeah. i guess you’re right.” 
the girl in front of you grinned in a way that seemed to say i always am.
still mildly offset about jj’s attitude toward whatever it is that you had done to upset him, you took a step back from kie, situating yourself so you could comfortably watch him once again. as you did, you noticed his back was now to you, topper, kelce, and rafe appearing to slowly herd him toward the building. the trio of men wore smug smiles, and before you knew it jj had lost his tray and swung open one of the glass doors, sprinting in the direction of the restrooms.
your eyebrows knitted together in sudden urgency, hand already swatting at kiara’s bare shoulder. “kie. kie they’re chasing him-”
“who’s- oh. oh,” kie said aridly.
“we have to go,” you told her, already gathering the skirt of your sage-green dress in a hand.
kie grabbed your arm quickly. “and do what? stab them with the back of our heels?”
“if that’s what it takes,” you told her stubbornly, ripping your bicep from her grip. “stay here if you want, i don’t care, but i’m going to go help the best i can.”
you didn’t wait for her response as you started in the direction of the door, gait switching between an uneven combination of a speedwalk and a run. whether or not jj was mad at you, nothing was going to stop you from assisting him in any way possible, especially if he was severely outnumbered. rafe was practically psychotic, his solution to everything was always violence, and topper and kelce only egged him on.
the cool a/c brought goosebumps to your skin, a chill shivering its way down your spine as you swept past people and furniture. fortunately, you spotted the dark-colored bathroom door, the sound of disgruntled male voices seeping through the wood. when you recognized jj’s, you didn’t hesitate to push past the barrier, deciding the consequences could be left for future you to deal with.
middle-age men immediately protested to your appearance, but you ignored them as you hurried in the direction of the overlapped voices, and, sure enough, you found yourself walking into the midst of the kooks jumping jj.
none of the boys noticed your presence, too wrapped up in whatever they were doing to grow aware of their surroundings. 
your attention zoned in on your beat-up-looking friend, the sight of kelce retaining him in a jarring choke hold resulting in your sudden outburst of, “what the fuck is going on?”
“oh, look who’s decided to join us,” rafe leered, his grin growing twice as big. jj continued to struggle against kelce’s grasp, saying your name dryly as his eyes jumped from you to the oldest cameron sibling.
“the hell is wrong with all of you?” your glare turned to kelce, his eyes narrowed in vain. “let him go or i swear to god…”
rafe’s face only continued to dwell with enlightenment at your interruption. he stood up straight and took a long stride in your direction, forcing you to spin toward him. he put less than a foot between his body and yours. “or you’ll do what-”
the air stilled as you slapped the man across the cheek, your palm stinging from the impact. even though he towered over your smaller person, you still sneered up at him, gaze narrowed as if he were no more than the scum on the bottom of your shoe. “you’re not the only one in this town who has a powerful father, rafe cameron. yours just happens to have the worst reputation.”
rafe’s fingers ghosted the flushed skin where you had struck him, eyebrows beginning to knit together as his familiar rage started to surface. he barely had time to speak, “you fucking bitch-” before someone cut in.
the flickering lights caught everyone’s regard, and you watched stiffly as kelce instantly released jj and spun on his heels. “gentlemen. ma’am,” a security guard addressed, “is there a problem here?”
jj was quick to jump in, rushing to say, “pardon me, officer, i just…” his blue eyes caught yours, but they jumped back the man in the black tux before you could give him a warning glance. “we just- well, actually, yes, there is an issue. we have a criminal trespass in progress here.”
you knew he was just doing the best he could to get you both out of the situation, yet you didn’t mask your rather disgusted expression as he continued.
“beep! call it in, right?” the blond urged. “blatant disrespect for private property.”
the boys around you nodded, avoiding eye contact with the guard. multiple yeahs circled the room.
“we’re in violation of all kinds of shit, sir,” jj said, barely taking the motion to glance at you over his shoulder. he turned to kelce, plastering on a fake smile. he began to straighten the cyan-colored bow tie. “but these young gentlemen…” his hand was quickly swatted away. “...uh, caught us, sir, and they were about to take us away. which is what you should do; escort us out of here.”
you watched as jj offered up his wrists before looking back at you. his brows jumped to his hairline in a silent plea to just go along with the nonsense spewing out of his mouth. still mildly irritated at him and everything about whatever the fuck is going to happen as a repercussion, you exhaled sharply and took a few steps in his direction, sending a glare in rafe’s direction.
your arm brushed against jj’s as you mimicked his actions. “you caught us, officer.”
the man rolled his eyes, but reached behind you, hands roughly grabbing onto yours and jj’s biceps. “come on.”
but jj seemed to feel that he needed to add to the situation, his adhd never failing to shine in moments like these. he turned to kelce again as rafe moved closer, topper behind him. “fix that tie, son. oh, and you’re lookin’ quite spiffy too. you powerpuff girls have fun, alright?”
just as the guard was about to lead you both through the exit, rafe shouted your name. “you know you’re pretty hot for a ‘pogue!’”
jj spun before you could even react, already storming in the direction of the smirking boy. ‘mister security’ left you standing in the doorway as he trudged over to the beginnings of a fight and ripped your friend from the group. “let’s go,” he snuffed, shoving the blond harshly.
you avoided jj’s aggravated gaze as you locked eyes with rafe, still being pushed by the man. raising a hand, you flipped him off. “suck my dick, cameron.”
“knock it off,” the guard said, his fingers squeezing the flesh of your arm. his warning compelled you to turn away, huffing air through your nose in annoyance.
rafe scoffed a laugh from his spot, highly entertained by the sight before him. “hey, safe travels back to the cut, you two!”
“this shit ain’t over!” jj hollered, earning a harsh shove in the direction of the exit.
as the man directed you and jj out of the building, you made a point to not bother interacting with the boy, ignoring his existence entirely, just as he had done to you previously. talking to him at the moment would only result in yelling at each other, and the idea of that was rather repulsive.
finally pushing past one of the glass doors, you attempted to wrench your arm away. it only ended with the guard’s hands squeezing even tighter. “dude, i can walk by myself- let me go.”
jj tried the same thing as you passed a distressed-looking kiara. “yeah, we have legs. can’t you see that, daryl? and, hey, thanks for the ‘discretion.’ let us just walk out by ourselves, yeah?”
nearly stumbling on stairs because of your heels, you made a noise out of exasperation, eagerly pulling back. “give me- oh my god, just let us go!” as heads started to turn in your direction, you desperately hoped that one of your parents would show up, but as daryl continued to haul you and jj (who continuously made comments to the people he passed) away from everything, you made one last hopeless attempt to get him to let go.
“wait!” you said, this time actually tripping on your heels. faking a stumble, you very nearly successfully fell out of daryl’s grasp. “these shoes are killing my feet. let me at least take them off if you insist on dragging us through the mud.”
he rolled his eyes, but loosened his grip.
bending slightly, you raised your left foot off the ground, undoing the buckle of your heel. as you stepped out of the shoe, you went to do the other, stealing a glimpse at jj. this is too easy.
finally standing on the bare ground, you turned back to daryl, shoving your heels to his chest. “would you mind holding these for me? thanks.” using the best of your strength, you threw him off, jj happily doing the same, and began backing in the opposite direction just as your father appeared from behind mr. carrera. his face went from confusion to anger in the span of less than three seconds, and you knew you’d be in for the biggest lecture of your life when you confronted your parents later. but for now, all you wanted to do was get off the property.
and jj seemed to have a similar idea, as his fingers brushed against your left hand, gesturing with the jut of his chin when you made eye contact with him. “come on.”
unable to help the satisfied smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth, you turned away, quickly following jj into the darkness as kie called after you.
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“okay, i think we’re far enough,” you huffed heavily, slowing to a walk beside jj.
he ran his fingers through his disheveled hair as he nodded. for once he had nothing to say, and it made you stop on the sidewalk.
“so that’s it?” you started, grabbing his elbow and forcing him to look at you. “you’re just going to go back to ignoring me? after everything that just happened back there? at least tell me what i did for you to treat me like this.”
his blue eyes averted your own as he chewed on his busted bottom lip.
“what did i do, jj?” you asked as your arm fell back to your side, annoyance slipping into despair. “just tell me.”
jj looked at you, and even in the strained moonlight could you just now see how badly his upper left cheek was bruising. he was fiddling with the hem of his white button-up shirt as he stood, stubbornly remaining quiet.
sighing, you took a step closer, the pavement cool under your bare feet. he flinched back when you went to raise a hand. you licked your lips. “did…did rafe and the others do this?”
stiffening, jj lifted his chin and looked down at you, his expression morphed into something between disgust and vacancy. “no,” was all he said.
“oh,” you breathed, your body running cold, even in the humid night air. of course. “maybe you should come back home with me. i can-”
“no,” jj repeated more firmly, shaking off your words. “no, i don’t need your pity right now. go back to midsummers. you and kie looked like you were having loads of fun.”
you scoffed in sudden disbelief, realizing what this was about—why he had been ignoring you for nearly a full day. “i’m not- i’m not offering to care for you out of pity,” you told him bitterly. “you’re my friend, jj, and i’ll always try and protect you when i can. i’m sorry that you’re too naive to realize and accept that.”
jj took a step back, his hands balling into fists as he shook his head. “i don’t need your protection. i don’t need your compassion, or whatever the hell you wanna call it,” he spat. “and i don’t need you.”
“you’re just saying that,” you protested quickly, swallowing down the crack in your voice and blinking back the sharp sting of tears.
shaking his head again, jj’s lips pressed into a thin line. “go back to that big, shiny house of yours.” he wasted no time in turning around, his back straight as he walked away, the clarity of his figure growing less and less as he retreated.
unable to process the moment, you ran a hand over your face, forcing yourself to keep your composure and not yell out to him. what the fuck just happened? you thought, panic beginning to set in as jj officially disappeared around the block.
what am i going to do?
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the house was quiet when you entered, and after a quick call for your parents, you realized they were still partying away at the country club. it was somewhat of a relief.
feet sore and dirty, you began to rid yourself of your jewelry, unclasping the chains around your neck and picking off the rings on your fingers. you set them on your nightstand as you shut your bedroom door, immediately falling onto your bed.
lying back to stare at the beige ceiling, you inhaled deeply, running through the events that had taken place. and it had all ended in jj leaving you. for how long, you didn’t know—didn’t even want to think about it. so, with one last sigh, you stood from your mattress, stripped yourself down, and headed toward the bathroom, already thinking up a plan for tomorrow.
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“look, i wasn’t trying to make a scene,” you explained over the phone, shrugging your shoulders even though your parents couldn’t see. “it just…happened, i guess. i’m sorry.” there was a tense pause, filled by the sound of your dad sighing on the other end of the line. “can i please go now? we can talk as soon as i get home later, i swear.”
you heard unintelligible whispers before your mom said, “you cannot keep blowing us off.”
“i know, i know.” you really did not want to have this conversation when you were nearly at jj’s house, the sky murky with dark clouds. “again, i’m sorry, but you know i don’t normally do stuff like this, so can you guys please ease off?” 
“fine. only for a few hours. i want you home soon, it’s supposed to storm today. we will talk later.” your dad said roughly, irritation laced in his voice.
shoulders visibly sagging, you couldn’t help but nod in relief. “yes, thank you. love you both.” with that, you impatiently clicked the red button on the screen as jj’s house appeared. pocketing your phone, you spotted the blond in his yard, squatting next to his red dirt bike. and for a split second, you were just happy to see him, the events circling last night forgotten.
you approached quietly, making just enough noise to let him know someone was walking over. as his head turned, your jaw went slack at the fresh bruise blooming along his jawline. you cleared your throat. “hi.”
“hey.” jj returned to his bike.
“i, uh…i came to talk.” thunder rumbled from somewhere above. “about last night. about us.”
the entire way here you rehearsed what you were going to say, switching things out or removing them completely, but now, when he stood and looked over at you with a somewhat pissed-off expression, you found your tongue to be dry and your mind blank.
“what’s there to talk about.” he said it more like a statement and less like a question. “there’s nothing to talk about.” 
you licked your lips as droplets started to wet your shoulders and scalp. “we both know that’s not true, jj.”
he wiped his hands on a cloth before tossing it into an open toolbox. shaking his head and sauntering forward, he said again, “there isn’t anything to talk about. you say you care about me, but you don’t. you don’t. do yourself a favor and stop lying to yourself. stop lying to me.”
“no, i do care, okay?” the raindrops began to fall harder, yet the only thing you were worried about was getting your point across. getting jj to understand. “i have cared about you for as long as i have known you. that first night at the chateau with the others…when you finally let me in…i didn’t know then, but i know now—i love you. a lot.”
jj scoffed and shook his head with an incredulous smile, his stare glued to the soaked grass, ignoring the weight of your confession. “you don’t know anything, alright? that night didn’t mean anything to anyone.”
“yes, it did!” you persisted loudly, frustrated with both him and yourself.
“no, it didn’t!” he snapped, reaching forward and grabbing the sides of your shoulders in exasperation. when you flinched at his yelling, a sudden wave of realization washed over him, and he released you with a step back, blinking rapidly against the rain. “nothing happened; nothing is happening.” he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than you. “you’re a kook. and i’m a pogue. we belong on two very different sides of this island.”
“jj,” you said softly. he remained still, hair stuck to the sides of his face as you went to cup it, palms resting against his wet skin. “just give in. for one pathetic second just forget about the social economic standing of everything and give in to me. please.” you weren’t sure whether the wetness on your face was your tears or the rain. “i know you want to, but you aren’t letting yourself. nothing you say or do will push me away. you’re stuck with me, pogue or not.”
his gaze flickered vicariously between your eyes and mouth, internally fighting with his own feelings. but, ultimately, you could see that your words had struck deep enough—that as the chill of cold water drenched your clothes and hair, as his warm fingers wrapped delicately around your wrists, thumbs sliding against your skin, you had won.
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© luvsellie 2023 | do not repost, republish, steal, or translate !!
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lovingache · 18 days
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𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞
𝐭. 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 summary: toru has a praise kink— no, really. that's it. warnings: 18+ only, minors do not interact! | gn!reader, aged up!haikyu!! no y/n, praise (toru receiving), teasing (reader receiving), a hint of overstim (reader receiving), possessiveness, word count: 684 (the haikyu!! brainrot is real, y'all) a/n: yeah, i got nothing to say about this. i stand by this 1000%, that man has a PRAISE KINK!!
ok i was talking about this in some tags but i’m obsessed with the idea that toru melts for praise in bed.
it doesn’t even have to be a full sentence, he’ll take anything you give him and he’ll let it go straight to his cock ego. whether it’s muttered words in between possessive kisses after he’s won a match, a shuddered “t-toru, you feel good, fuck,” or full on praising him while your mouth is full of him, gagging while complimenting him, “mm—fuck, toru you’re so big, c-can’t believe i get to do this to you,” this man will get off to it.
good luck dealing with him when his team loses because he will not stop until he wrings out every last aching compliment from you. it always starts the same with him pouting at you, moaning about how they lost because he didn't read the team right, didn't set right, couldn't get his serves perfect enough.
when you finally kiss him (mainly to shut him up but also because he's your boyfriend and you want to cheer him up), his whole demeanour changes. "ah, thank you, angel," he sighs as he presses another tender kiss against your mouth, relishing how his tongue pressing against yours can make you whimper so easily. you always made him feel like he was the best when he's with you, always so reactive under his touch as if it were the first time.
"i know something i'm always good at though. right, angel?" he says, his voice dropping in a similar way when he's figured out a team's weakness before teasing at your neck and jaw. "something that i know i can always do for you," he murmurs against your skin, his hands roaming your body possessively, chuckling as you shudder beneath him.
he leans close to your ear and whispers, "tell me. how good does just my mouth and hands on you feel hm, angel?" and beams with pride as you stutter out a shaky, "f-feels really good, toru."
heaven help you because the minute he has you pinned to the bed, he’ll lick and suck at all your most sensitive parts, relishing your whimpers and groans as he makes you cum repeatedly. he'll smile up from between your legs as you get more and more drunk on his touch, shuddering and whimpering from the multiple times he's already made you cum.
“was that good, baby? it was, wasn't it," he'll say before working you up dangerously close to the edge again, all while smiling down at you. "tell me. i’m the best you’ve ever had, right?” he says it not as a question but a fact he's merely verifying with you, waiting patiently for you to catch your breath to reply to him as he coos pet names at you. "oh, is my poor baby already fucked out? i haven't actually fucked you yet, angel. god, i guess i really am the best you've ever had."
he pauses as he starts to push himself into you, teasing you with the head of his cock, "no, that's wrong. right, angel?" he stops his movements to further punctuate his point, "i'm the best you'll ever have, right? tell me." he says, growing impatient as you stammer nonsense.
he chuckles lightly, enjoying how drunk you are on the orgasms he's already given you before tsk'ing at you. "c'mon angel, use that pretty little head of yours and tell me the truth, tell me what we both already know. you know i can't fuck you until you tell me," he taunts, mouthing at your neck again as he pushes in ever so slightly.
he only starts to fuck you when you relent, squeaking out a stuttering, “y-yes, god, toru. best i’ve e-ever had— will ever have. please!” his signature charming smile snakes its way across his face as he watches you plead for him, his pride restored as he sees you break beneath him.
he kisses you tenderly as he pushes into you in one satiating motion, filling you completely as he looks down at you with half-lidded eyes,
“say it again.”
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cinnamostar · 4 months
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five dates to fall in love
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part one. part two. part three (here). part four.
pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader
summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?
wc : 2.7k
cw :actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn (?!), not proofread, descriptors of insecurity and stuff, internal struggle but nothing serious
a/n : finally... its here... sorry for this taking long, i was traveling for holidays and then classes started but its here! lmk what you guys think :3 this chapter is a lot chiller imo... just trying to set a Vibe of emotional conflict... ALSO im not trying to paint hyunjin as the bad guy.,.,, but i think its also important to show that people will form opinions no matter what and will inevitably pick a side. so yus...
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Tears cascaded down your warm cheeks as you tossed yourself in your bed, the frustration and anger you were holding back finally catching up to you as quiet sobs escaped your lips. You hated how horrible the feeling of pure anger, as it always felt you were on the verge of bursting at the seams from how violent and erratic the emotion was as it overran your body. You had no idea what to do with it, always allowing it to linger til it overwhelmed you to the point of tears and surrendered to its burning grip. Your phone began to vibrate, which your hand mindlessly reached over for and picked up without second thought, as you knew it would be no other than Chan calling you at such a moment.
“Y/N… Are you okay?” concern dripped from Chan’s voice, while all you could muster out was a muffled grumble as you stuffed your tear-stained face into your pillows. “Right,” he responds, acknowledging your groan, “Well, I heard what happened through Changbin, so I called to check in on you.”
You take a deep breath in to soothe your hoarse throat from your onslaught of tears, praying your voice wouldn’t be too shaky as you spoke, “Well, I’m upset.”
“I don’t blame you one bit, I’d be just as upset as you are,” he reassured you gently, “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you need some more time to figure your feelings out?”
“I don’t know,” you mumble, turning your face away from the pillows so your voice was clearer, “I don’t know how to feel. It’s just a lot. It’s such a stupid reason for him to have just been so shitty to me for so long. He literally could’ve just asked me or talked to me about it instead of assuming.”
“Right, I agree. Even Changbin didn’t know about that being the reason,” added Chan, “I’m sure he lectured him on it because that is a crazy conclusion to jump to.”
“And I’m even more upset that was the conclusion he landed on! Why did he just assume I’d do something so terrible? Why did he not consider that I was trying to help him secure the role?”
“Sounds like he has an insecurity issue, if I had to guess, but who knows. You have every right to be upset, but there is another pressing matter we do need to address.”
You sigh, rolling onto your back as you use your free hand to rub your temples, “Yeah, I know. As upset as I am right now, I do still want to keep doing this project, but…”
“But…?”
“I don’t really… know if I can do that because I don’t wanna see his stupid face or go out on any other practice dates,” you huffed angrily, feeling a bit relieved to verbalize some of your feelings. 
“Well, I won’t force you to go on another date if you still need time to cool off, but maybe it will help you get used to seeing his stupid face after this. Plus, Changbin did tell me that you have permission to yell at Hyunjin if you wanna get that out the way.”
You let out a small chuckle, unsurprised to hear that Changbin said such a thing, “I’m not going to yell at him, but I appreciate the offer. I don’t know, I’m still really worked up from the whole thing.”
“Give yourself time, you can let me know in the morning how you’re feeling and we can go from there, okay?” Chan asks, the gentle tone of his voice bringing you a sense of comfort. 
“Okay, I’ll do that. Thanks Chan.”
“Of course, take care, Y/N.”
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The next morning rolled by rather quickly and while it would’ve been a lovely day to stay in bed, your stubbornness caused you to find yourself walking to your third date of the week. You were still terribly upset at Hyunjin and forgiveness was not in the cards at this point, yet you had other pressing matters that did not allow you to wallow up in hatred and resentment for him. You had to set your feelings aside for a moment in order to make some sort of progress on this current acting project, as you were way too excited for how the final product would turn out and truly believed in the success of the film.
Although, you didn’t have high hopes for today, as you expected it to be a similar outcome to your previous dates. Today’s day was Chan’s idea, which was attending a local farmer’s market in your area that provided all sorts of family-owned shops to look through, including a variety of food to choose from. It was a bit last minute, but Chan knew your love for these small events, so he hoped this would bring you some joy, but also give you the opportunity to wander off from Hyunjin if needed, while also giving you both the chance to talk about something. 
You were approaching the entrance to the park it was being hosted at, checking the time on your phone relieved to know you were on time. Honestly, while Hyunjin would probably be late once again, you didn’t mind the chance to enjoy bits of the market alone, especially on such a sunny day during these winter months. However, you were completely stunned to find Hyunjin waiting by the entrance as well, nonetheless waiting five minutes earlier than the time Chan had told you. He stood there awkwardly, both hands in the pockets of his coat as he bounced on the balls of his feet nervously, his eyes widening when his gaze finally lands on you.
You approach him with caution and a raised eyebrow, not completely believing the sight before you, “I didn’t expect you to be here so early,” you state curtly, trying your best to remain civil and cordial despite yesterday’s events.
“Well,” he stammered, his fingers jittering in his pockets, “I think I owe you an apology, and I thought showing up on time for once was one way to show that I am being genuine.”
“An apology?” you question, your ears not believing his words.
He sighs nervously, brushing a hand through his hair, “I have… realized I was entirely wrong about the situation, and I am truly sorry for that and for treating you so horribly the past two years we’ve known each other.” You wear an unconvinced expression, unsure what could’ve caused him to have a change of heart overnight, especially since he was just in deep denial the day before. He continues his statement after picking up on your apprehension, “I ended up reaching out to director Han about the situation and he… he told me how much you vouched for me when he spoke to you.”
You nod your head as you take in his words, “I see, well, I’m glad you’ve come to that realization and I accept your apology,” a hopeful look appears on his face, “But, I do need time before I can forgive you because the way you’ve treated me has really hurt me. And the fact that you thought I’d ever do that to you hurt me a lot too.”
His expression falters, but he offers an understanding smile, “I completely understand, I honestly do not even deserve your kindness right now, so thank you for being kind about this.”
You return his smile with a tightlipped one, still not entirely believing the sudden change in him, but you couldn’t lie, it did feel a bit nice to see him so timid and meek, and hearing an apology come from him did help loosen the knot of rage that laid dormant in your stomach. “Well,” you clear your throat awkwardly, trying to find a way to continue the day, “Do you want to head in?”
“Sure, lead the way,” he responds, his hands returning to his coat pockets as he anxiously trailed behind you. Eye bags hung on his face, indicating the restless night he had suffered due to the guilt he had been digesting since his phone call with the director. Hyunjin felt horrible after the revelation he had, feeling nothing but the heavy, deep seated weight of anxiety and guilt resting atop his chest. Even the sight of you made the feeling worse, facing the reality of how his actions have affected you all this time was a whole new hurdle he had to learn to conquer. The least he could do was try to be as kind as he could be from here on out, and brace himself for whatever angry slurry of curses you had for him, but how could Hyunjin forget? 
The volatile version of you he had become used to these past two years was not who you truly were, but something he provoked out of you through his incessant insults and stale attitude. In reality, you were an extremely kind and patient person outside of the context of your relationship with him, and your reaction to his apology was evidence of that. He couldn’t help it, he felt like such an idiot for thinking you, of all people, would have ever sabotaged an important role for him, and he only further deluded himself in that belief by pushing you to the point of petty toxicity. 
The best he could do was remain quiet as he followed your course through the various stalls, the shame only intensifying when he would witness your eyes widen with joy whenever you found an item that interested you, and how you even took the time to converse with each stall owner about their products. The genuinity in your nature was something he couldn’t believe he had denied for so long, disillusioned himself so far to have forgotten it. All for what? Because he couldn’t accept his own failures, or face the daunting insecurities about his talents that he held so closely to his heart? Perhaps it was your self-assuredness that caused a hint of jealousy to brew into this mess he had concocted today, your very confidence that struck a chord of envy within him. He didn’t quite understand what led him to act in such a manner, he could only guess why he was the way he was, but all he knew was that he owed you a lifetime of favors.
At the moment, he stood uncomfortably by your side as he watched you peruse through a few crocheted trinkets a stall had, afraid to disrupt the bits of peace you could’ve had with him tagging along. In all honesty, to an outsider, he probably looks like a child who got dragged along with his parents on a day out. You sigh as you place the trinket down, turning your head to catch his eyes darting around nervously, “Hyunjin,” you speak. He startles upon hearing his name, not expecting you to ever pay him any mind today. “I get this is awkward, but you can loosen up a bit. I don’t bite,” you chide with a hint of playfulness in an attempt to lighten the mood. 
He lets out a strained exhale, acknowledging your words, “You’re right, I just don’t want to make you feel weird or uncomfortable,” he confesses.
“Well, I think staying quiet doesn’t help that cause much, does it?” you ask rhetorically before adding on, “It’s okay. Have you seen anything you like from any of the stalls? I really like what this one has,” you muse, a gentle smile taking your features as you hold up a small crocheted keychain of a  jellyfish with a wobbly smile on it, “He’s kinda silly looking, I think I might take him home with me.”
Hyunjin lets out an airy chuckle, his shoulders relaxing a tad, “He definitely is funny looking,” he replies, “Ah, I don’t know. There’s so much here, this is my first time going to something like this.”
“Oh, this is your first time? You’ve never been to the farmer’s market ever?”
“Nope, never been, but this is nice. It’s a lot better than I imagined.”
“You’ve been missing out, I love going to these. I try to go every now and then whenever I’m free,” you took out your wallet, handing the vendor cash to pay for the keychain, “There’s always fun knick knacks here, and everyone is so sweet. You sure there’s nothing you wanna stop by before grabbing some food?”
His eyes scan the stalls surrounding you both, but you notice them lingering at a small jewelry stall that sold handcrafted rings, ones that definitely fit his aesthetic. “Come on,” you motion him to follow you to the stand, “Maybe you’ll see something you’ll like.” He follows behind you, still in a timorous manner, but you could see the way his eyes brighten once he realizes where you were dragging him off to. Although you were far from friends, it didn’t mean you weren’t aware of how particular he could be when it came to fashion, and you wanted him to at least get something out of today after suffering intense awkwardness. 
It was now your turn to watch Hyunjin look through the assortment of jewelry the owner had laid out and of course, he was gravitating towards the silver rings, each with their own intricate designs that demonstrated the amount of artistry and talent the owner held. He looks overwhelmed with the amount of choices before him, indecisive as he holds two different rings in his hands, modeling each to figure out which one he liked best. “Why not just get both of them?” you ask.
“Both?” he ponders on the suggestion, “I guess I could do that.”
“Or,” you start, picking up a ring that you thought would suit his taste, “get this one instead,” you hand him the ring, a knowing smile on your face.
His mouth fell in surprise at it, slipping it on his finger as his eyes marvelled, “Wow, this one is so nice,” he mumbles while now placing the two previous rings away, “How did you know I’d like this one?”
You shrug nonchalantly, turning away from him, “You know, we were friends once,?” you remind him, “Just get it, find me by the food stands once you pay for it.”
He stays in his place as he watches you walk away, once more left speechless by your kindness as he begins to wonder how you were able to treat him as such. The guilt that made its home in his stomach began to rumble, the bitter taste of it overpowering his sense as he comes to terms with just how wrong he was all this time, and how awful he had been to someone as gentle as you.
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The day had come to an end, and surprisingly the latter half went better than either of you could have expected. In a way, it was like time hadn’t passed as you both chatted effortlessly over food from whatever food truck caught each of your attentions. You both caught up on what you missed in each other’s lives during your heated rivalry, and somehow, every part of the conversation felt natural, nothing felt out of place and it was almost as if the past two years didn’t exist.
It was incredibly unsettling for you, and you started to feel a bit conflicted on where your anger lied with the boy as the time you spent softened your heart. Although, you knew you couldn’t allow him back into your life that easily, as his behavior deserves some sort of consequences, so you decided you couldn’t allow yourself to surrender that easily. Not all because you found yourself missing the friendship you once had with him, that wasn’t a good enough reason to overlook his actions. You cursed yourself silently as you arrived home, yet there was a small voice in the back of your mind that tried to convince you that perhaps it was best to let this happen in the name of the acting project you were both on. 
No, no, you remind yourself, he definitely doesn’t deserve your forgiveness or trust that easily.
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taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures taglist cut off at 20 people :)
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uglypastels · 1 year
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Caught Me Slippin' | escort!eddie au
(a/n) yes, this fic is based on the Kiss Quotient, and, therefore also Pretty Woman. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll for me to work on this fic. I had a lot of fun with it! So, even though its a bit all over the place, haha, I hope you still like it.
If you want to see more of this fic, please send an ask and we can chat about it but Do Not Ask For Part 2. This is a One Shot.
Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.
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Word count: 13.2k
Warnings: SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. dual POV. rich!female!reader. shorter than Eddie. self-consciousness. slight miscommunication - quickly resolved. swearing. drinking. awkwardness. [mention of infidelity, side characters]. non-monogamous relationship. smut. male sex work (obviously). slight dom! Eddie. inexperienced!reader. mentions of bdsm- bondage, sadomasochism. nipple piercings. nipple play. fingering. oral (f receiving). light pussy slapping. Eddie has an innocence kink. I'm probably not representing sex work 100% accurately, but this is [fan]fiction. You should always take it with a grain of salt. + apparently, kind of angsty, idk i guess I'm dead inside.
if you think I'm missing any warnings, please let me know, and I'll add them. if you do not like the sound of any of these- then this is not for you. do not read.
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All the errors left unlearned, oh
But I am the luckiest guy
Not the loneliest guy in the world
- David Bowie, The Loneliest Guy
What the hell were you doing? 
Sitting at a bar, which was mistake number two. One of many, for that matter. The third was ordering a drink you knew you wouldn’t drink but had picked when panic swooped over you as the bartender walked up. The red liquid looked quite pretty, but you could smell the alcohol the second the girl put the glass in front of you. An attempt at a sip was made, and you brought it to your lips, but the bitterness overwhelmed you. 
There was one thing you had gotten right, and that was at least picking a bar that wasn’t crowded. The music played at just the right volume, and people kept to themselves, to their booths and their tables. You tried to let your mind wander off, not to overthink– that would only cause more anxiety– but it always went back to what the people around you were talking about. You never meant to be nosy, and you never butted in… but it was entertaining what random strangers had to say to each other.
— You’re shitting me. 
— No, I’m serious. Sarah told me herself. She walked in, and there he was, fucking their pool boy. 
The table behind you erupted in a chorus of gasps. 
— Poor Sarah, though. 
— Yeah, well, she had been sleeping with her yoga instructor. 
How were people so comfortable talking about such things in public? Where everyone could listen in? You almost felt bad for this Sarah that her complicated marriage was being shared with the entirety of this small bar, surely then retold all across the city.
You glanced around you, side to side. The bar counter was quite long, with enough space for eight barstools to stand next to each other. Besides yours, four more were occupied. Having opted for the last chair, you were worried about someone sitting on one of your neighbouring chairs, but luck had been in your favour.
That is, until he showed up. 
Your first, and probably, the biggest mistake that you made that night.
From the second that Eddie sat down beside her, he could tell something was wrong. He always could with such things. As well as assume what might have been the cause of the problem. 
Her eyes widened, nearly doubled in size, as he sat down next to her. He couldn’t have made a mistake; she had sent what she would look like and be wearing, and the description was accurate. She should have known what Eddie would look like as well; that’s basically what the whole selection was based on, look, and yet… the way she stared at him… he had the urge to wave his hand in front of her to make sure she wasn’t going into shock. 
‘Hey,’ instead, he opted for a kind smile as he leaned against the bar, asking for a quick confirmation of her name, and took a moment to take her in properly while she defrosted and returned to reality.  She was cute, to his surprise, definitely not the type he would usually be coming across these nights. Pretty and young, but mostly, shy. The bar was definitely not in her comfort zone, and he had picked up on that the second he noticed het sitting there, back stiff in nerves, drink untouched except for the little straw she stirred around in circles mindlessly. At first, he thought, maybe it’s all an act. The shy and naive girl next door, he was into it, but no. Now he knew better; she was terrified. 
A few seconds later, when his eyes moved back up to her face, she spoke her first words. 
‘Who are you?’
There had been a mistake. There must have been. Whoever the guy sitting next to you was, he was not the guy you had paid for. 
Jesus that sounded so stupid. How could you have been so dumb thinking it was a good idea to hire a guy for the night. As if that would make you feel better, make all your problems disappear. 
The man blinked in confusion. Your reaction had clearly been a surprise. As he stumbled over his words, you took him in quickly. 
Long brown hair fell over his shoulders in messy waves. He had layered up, but not for practicality. You couldn’t see how the leather jacket or the denim vest over a thin t-shirt would help him against the evening cold, not to mention his ribbed jeans. Overall he looked like he had been directly cut out of an 80s rock magazine. Sure, some women must be into that kind of look; you couldn’t even deny he was pretty attractive, but it was not what you had wanted. Not for now. You needed something simple. Comfortable. Easy.
Those large rings and metal chains were most definitely not comfortable. Or simple. Or easy. 
Oh god. 
‘I’m Eddie,’ he stated, hoping it would clear something up, but her confused stare didn’t falter. ‘Didn’t you book…’ Eddie knew all the people around him were poking their noses into everyone’s business, so he tried to pick his words wisely, ‘... the appointment?’ Fuck, did he walk up to the wrong girl? He knew it would have been too good to be true to get an actual girl his age. People always lied on these forms. He was ready to apologise and walk away, but she answered. 
‘I did.’ Her eyes wavered again over him. ‘But not you. There must have been some kind of mistake, I–’ 
‘Is everything good here?’ The bartender walked up, towel across her shoulder, her piercing blue eyes digging right through Eddie. Her question had been directed at the girl, and she nodded quickly. 
‘All good, just a little misunderstanding.’ 
‘Alright then,’ The bartender sent Eddie another suspicious look before heading to the other side of the counter to take another order. This was fucking fantastic. Yeah, just great. 
‘Ok, so who did you think you were meeting?’ Eddie asked when the woman behind the bar walked away, slightly backing away from you, letting his shoulders fall.
You tried to remember the name of the guy who caught your attention last evening. Would the name mean anything to Eddie? You didn’t expect all these guys to hang around together...
‘Shit, yeah, ok, that makes sense.’ You could see all the puzzle pieces coming together behind his eyes. ‘He’s out on a date tonight as well. They must have sent us each other’s… wait,’ he quickly grabbed his phone. 
Eddie searched through his emails. It didn’t take long to ignore the few spam messages he had gotten since this morning. And there it was. The booking confirmation he had received. Having gotten them so often, he had read it on autopilot, not even realising that his own name was missing. All he had needed, he thought, was his client’s information. But there it was, literally the first two words of the email: Dear Steve… 
Oh, the office would have a field day with this. 
But some of him also could not wait to ask Steve how his date went. 
‘Yeah, they fucked it up,’ after a few seconds, Eddie had turned his phone around to show you an email. Even though you only needed the first two words to understand the mistake that occurred, you took the time to read as much of it as possible to make sure it was real. From what you could tell, it seemed legit. Just what business operated solemnly through emails… and apparently, not even automated ones. 
‘I’m really sorry for the inconvenience,’ Eddie apologised as he pulled his phone back and placed it into his pocket. ‘I can call the office and get you a refund. I promise you that this is usually nothing of the standard we usually operate at.’ You appreciated his professionalism. Despite never thinking you were that judgemental, perhaps you had actually judged him a bit too harshly at first glance. And he was quite attractive… 
‘No, wait,’ you stopped him before he could dial the number of his boss, or whoever was in charge. ‘Uhm… did your… friend… send you something? About his date?’ Steve was now, of course, also on the wrong job. Eddie looked up at you for a second, before glancing down again at his phone to check his notifications. 
‘No, haven’t heard anything from him. I guess the other person didn’t seem to care which one of us they got.’ he chuckled, which surprised you. Did other people not care about who they slept with? You get to pick a person for a reason, don’t you? 
‘I don’t need a refund.’ You stated after a short moment. Eddie glanced up once more.
‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money–’ 
‘No, I mean, I would like to continue the night… with you.’ This was, for sure, getting out of your comfort zone, right? Being adventurous, getting a life, all that shit your friends nagged you about for years. Eddie smiled with the corner of his mouth. 
‘Alright then, would you like to get out of here?’ 
‘Yes, please,’ you let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the volume in the space picked up quite a lot as more people entered, drowning out your conversation, but it was getting a bit too much for you. ‘Just… one minute.’ you stood up, heading to the bathroom, but Eddie called your attention for one more second. 
‘You forgot your purse.’ he looked down at the ground where your bag was lying. You gave him an awkward smile and picked it up before making your way to the back of the bar.
Closing the stall door behind you, you wished for some decent internet; thankfully, it wasn’t the worst. You didn’t bother trying to be quick about it. There was no doubt in your mind that he knew you were looking him up online. With shaking hands, you typed in the name of the agency where you had found Steve. They had a list of all their “models”, as they nicely labelled them, and you scrolled through them. There was the guy you had planned on spending the night with. You had picked him because he looked sweet, and hot, obviously, but with enough cockiness thrown in the mix to tell you he knew what he was doing. And the little sales pitch the website had written up for him to sell the fantasy worked well. You didn’t bother rereading it now, but it was something to do with “the sweet jock that knows how to take care of his girl”. It was extremely cheesy, you were more than aware of that, but cheesy was good. It was safe. 
Your friends would have probably laughed at you. 
They probably would have picked out a guy like Eddie. 
Speaking of the guy waiting for you at the bar, you found his profile. First thing first, the picture. That was definitely him; you recognised the unruly dark hair and brown eyes. He had several photos posted in his profile, like most of the men on the website, and they were of semi-professional quality: self-taken, but with a very nice camera and lighting. He had put effort into his presentation. First, there was the portrait, showing his handsome face, shirtless but cropped to the shoulder, revealing enough of the silver chain around his neck but not showing what was actually hanging off it. 
The following picture was a full-body pose, with clothes on that were not significantly different from the ones he was wearing now. No denim vest, but a different leather jacket on top of a black shirt. Dark denim jeans with a belt, buckled by what looked like to be steel handcuffs… had he been wearing that tonight as well? 
Your throat tightened up as you swiped to the next post, which was, of course, the obligatory nude. All the “models” had to have them, since that was basically what people paid for. If it wasn’t for the fact that the site saw itself as one of the “classier” agencies out there, the naked pictures would have been the only ones available. You, for one, appreciated the variety. 
Eddie was posed on a bed, on his knees. With one hand in his hair, and the other over his thigh, he didn’t leave anything to the imagination. Despite not even looking at the camera, the smug smile on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing. He got you looking, and he knew you liked it. Yet, what you couldn’t stop looking at were the tattoos that covered his pale skin. Dozens of them, at least, varying in size and style, covering most of his arms, upper legs, ribs…
You scrolled on, remembering he was still waiting for you outside, but the next picture didn’t make anything better. 
It had been a session shot. You had stumbled across similar ones on your initial look at the website. The men posing out the act of some kind of intercourse. Different positions, different actions, whatever described their style in the profession. For Eddie, that included the shot of a naked woman in bed, the same bed in which he had taken the previous picture. Her limbs were spread apart, tied to the bed corners. Her eyes were covered with a black and white bandana, and the rest of the features tightened in bliss as Eddie was positioned between her legs. His mouth was right at her core. If that wasn’t enough, he had put some props up on display next to the woman; some extra handcuffs, a vibrator and what you assumed to be a flogger. 
What the hell were you getting yourself into?
She returned after a few minutes, and Eddie could immediately tell his assumption was right. The poor thing couldn’t look him in the face. She sat back down on the barstool, holding onto her purse, lip between her teeth and eyes on anything but him. Yeah, she had looked him up. 
In all honesty, he thought it was a good thing. He didn’t care for people who didn’t do their research into things. Saying that, as quite a spontaneous person, you couldn’t jump into things head first all the time. Sometimes, it was important to test the waters. Make sure there were no sharks swimming around.
‘I paid for your drink,’ Eddie remembered. She looked at him, stunned. 
‘Oh, you really didn’t have to.’ Did she seem apologetic? 
‘Please, its the least I can do, for, you know, being the wrong guy and all.’ He smiled, hoping she would return the favour. The corner of her mouth curved up the smallest amount, still quite unsure of the situation. 
‘Really, I–’ she was ready to get her wallet, most likely pay him back, but Eddie stopped her by placing his hand over hers. That made her freeze, look back up at him. Eddie felt two pairs of eyes on him. Hers, and the bartender behind him, most definitely reassessing the whole situation. Everything about this evening was going to shit. He could probably wave his perfect 5-star rating goodbye, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but he for sure as hell was not going to get put on any registers tonight. However, trying to seduce a stranger into bed with him when he is so clearly not the type for this girl… why was he even trying so hard?
He didn’t like using the term “vanilla”, it got too much of a bad rep, but that is what she seemed to be. Her clothes weren’t flashy, not even considering for “outgoing”. She wasn’t the type to go out and hook up, let alone get an escort. He wasn’t surprised she had decided to go for a guy like Steve. But Steve wasn’t here; Eddie was. He now had the job of taking care of this girl in any way she wanted him to.
‘Ok, shall we?’ She took a deep breath as she got up. 
‘Are you–’ maybe they should talk about this? He didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. 
‘C’mon,’ next thing he knew, she grabbed Eddie by the wrist and whisked him off the barstool, dragging him along outside. It was early in the year, but late in the evening. The air was crispy, and the wind blew harshly. Eddie had definitely not dressed warm enough for the night, but that would have been an understatement for her. She would freeze in a few minutes. 
‘I got a room in the hotel just across the corner,’ she spoke, rather determined. Some people might have mistaken it for confidence, but Eddie saw the other signs. Her clenched jaw, her consistent avoidance of eye contact… she was putting on a brave face. And that’s how people get into situations they don’t want to be in. 
If it had been warmer, he would have stopped them on the street, but he had to get her out of the cold, so he let the girl drag him across the sidewalk to the hotel's entrance. It was big. The warm lighting reflecting off of all the decor, giving it a golden glow. 
She did not stop walking until they reached the elevator. She clicked the button, and the arrow above the doors pointed down. The numbers slowly descended from 14. 
‘I know you looked me up.’ Eddie started, having no idea how to introduce the topic fluently. 
‘Ok.’ She was biting her lip nervously. 
‘So I know you know what my usual gig is.’ They both watched the numbers go down. 7… 6… 
‘So we’re on the same page.’ She glanced up at him; he could see it in the reflection of the metal doors. 
‘I don’t think we are.’ The elevator pinged open as Eddie said so. They walked inside. 
‘What do you mean?’ She finally looked him in the eye, only momentarily, but he saw that some of her fear slowly faded as she pressed the button to her floor. 15. 
‘That, yes, I usually am pretty rough with my clients,’ he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, but could anyone blame him? He enjoyed his work. ‘But that’s because they want me to be rough.’ He looked at her intensely. Not to intimidate her, but to show her the seriousness of his words. ‘I don’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. You paid for an evening with… well, not me, but it’s all the same. If you get your money’s worth from a good pounding, I’m more than happy to oblige. From cuddling and watching a movie? All fine by me.’ 
It’s all the same. 
But it wasn’t, was it? They weren’t all the same. 
‘What about you?’ you asked just as the elevator opened on your floor. Eddie let you walk through first. Now, you couldn’t look away from him, letting your head almost spin around a whole 360 to get your glance at him. 
‘What about me?’ He had his hands in his pockets. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be anything scary about him. His hair was soft. His jacket, while not exactly winter-weather proof, looked cozy. The patches on his vest were hand sawn. With an image of him sitting at home, sewing them on, one by one, you got a sudden urge to ask about them, but who did that? Surely, in your situation, questions like that were out of bounds. 
‘What do you like?’ 
‘That doesn’t matter,’ he chuckled, which confused you. 
‘Doesn’t it? I might not be the most knowledgeable about the whole sex thing, but… shouldn’t both people involved be getting off? Doesn’t that make it better?’ You had reached your door. Weirdly, from having focused on the conversation as you walked, you didn’t feel any nerves unlocking the door. The room was dark, and you switched the light on. The nerves still didn’t bubble up. You could do it.
‘I suppose so– wait, you’re not a virgin, are you?’ 
You shook your head no. 
‘Ok. not that there is anything wrong with that. Everyone’s living life at their own pace, I just don’t feel comfortable with that kind of responsibility. No one’s first time should be with….’ 
‘A professional?’ you raised your eyebrow, suggesting a possibly more classy term for what he wanted to say. 
‘Nice.’ He smiled, and made his way over to the bed. You watched him get comfortable on the edge as you took off your light jacket. Your arms were freezing from the cold air outside, but the hotel room was cosy. Not to mention, the nerves were heating you up once more by the second. This was it. Eddie spread his legs wide, almost calling for your eyes to look at his thighs and how they stretched the material of the jeans. 
When your eyes moved back up to his face, you were terrified to see that he was staring right back at you, devouring you with his gaze. He definitely saw you checking him out. But it was becoming harder to concentrate when you looked at how his large hand grazed over the faint stubble on his face. 
‘C’mere,’ he said with a nod, and thoughtlessly, you followed his order. Eddie took you by both hands once you were close enough and placed them on his shoulders, then let his hands settle on your waist. His eyes found yours for a quick check. When you gave him the green light with a smile, he immediately mirrored it and asked: ‘what were your plans for this magical evening?’ He briefly tightened his grip on you and kept moving his hands up and down lightly as you tried to respond. As if that wasn’t hard enough with his eyes staring deep into you. 
‘No, uhm, nothing special.’ You didn’t need special. Special meany complicated, and you just needed someone to help you out with the basics. 
‘Making it special is kind of my one job, you know,’ he pulled you in for a hug so that his face was only a few inches away from your stomach. His arms now enveloped your frame, hands comfortably positioned over your ass. A complete stranger was hiking up the hem of your shirt, touching your bare skin underneath it. ‘So, what is it that you want?’ When he pulled up enough of your shirt to actually reveal the skin underneath, he placed a soft kiss on your side. That feeling alone felt electric. He kept on leaving fluttering kisses over your middle. It was a strange sensation as well as a pleasing one. So simple, and yet it had a great effect that you couldn’t quite explain. 
Your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to concentrate on Eddie’s question as his kisses continued. What did you want from this night? But should you tell him the complete truth? Wasn’t there some way to avoid the embarrassing details? Then again… how could he ever help you with your needs if he didn’t know what they were?
‘I want…’ you gasped lightly when his teeth grazed your skin. For some reason, that pushed you over the edge to just put everything you worried about out there. You were already here, in this hotel room, with him. Fuck it. 
‘I want you to help me be good at sex.’ 
Eddie didn’t mean to stop. He saw in her reaction that that had been the wrong thing to do. She must have seen his widened eyes and taken it for judgement, while really, it had just been a small surprise. He wasn’t exactly used to people asking him to teach them how to have sex. 
‘Sorry, uhm, nevermind. Just ignore me.’ She scratched at her neck while looking away. That won’t do. Eddie had to fix this before they would do anything else. 
‘No, wait. Let’s… let’s talk this through for a moment.’ He led her by the hand and let her sit on the bed next to him. ‘Get comfortable. Is there anything in the minibar?’ he noticed the small fridge in the closet across the room and hoped she would understand his question to ask permission to use the service provided in the room. 
‘Go ahead, take anything you want.’ 
‘Living large, are we?’ He cocked his brow before making his way over to the minibar. The selection of drinks was quite understated for a place like they were in. two cheap beers, a small bottle of champagne and two sodas. From what he had gathered at the bar, she didn’t seem to be a big drinker, so he grabbed a beer and a soda can. ‘Here.’
‘Oh, thanks.’ She didn’t look up at him as she took the can from him. Fuck, what was she embarrassed for? He doubted she would speak up in the conversation by herself, so just started out with a question. ‘Why do you think you need help with sex?’ She said she wasn’t a virgin, so she’s had experience. With a glance at her hands, he saw no ring or sign of regular wear of one. That, of course, didn’t exclude the option of a boyfriend or a partner. Maybe even a guy she just wanted to impress. The possibilities were endless, and for some strange reason, at the thought of her having sex with someone else, a strange feeling started gnawing at Eddie’s guts. 
‘Because I’ve had sex a few times and so far it’s been awful.’ She sighed. ‘But I know that, to get better at it, I would have to go and endure endless dates to find a guy who would want to sleep with me, but then what if I do meet a great guy but just put him off because I’m shit in the sack?’
‘Don’t you believe that, if you did really find the right guy, he would help you? Or not even mind your alleged lack of skills “in the sack”?’ Eddie asked, taking a sip of beer. She just looked at him with a look that told him everything. Right. Men are egoistic scum. She had a point.
‘Sorry, you must think I’m insane.’  She tapped on the top of the can. The metal ticking sounded hollow in the quiet room. 
‘I really don’t.’ If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a moral spine, he would have happily told her about some of his other clients. 
‘Yeah, but I’m just wasting your time talking your ears off with absolute nonsense,’ she tried to laugh at it, lessen the tension. 
Eddie leaned over the bed on his elbow. ‘Don’t you know that escorts are the new therapists?’ 
‘Wasn’t that bartenders?’
‘I brought you your drink, didn’t I? Call it a 2-for-1 combo deal.’ He put his beer in the air for a toast and took another sip. ‘And I was serious earlier. You already paid for the whole night, so I’m all yours, sweetheart’ He hoped that didn’t sound dismissive. The last thing he wanted to do (again) was to upset or offend this girl, who genuinely looked and seemed amazing. The idea of her not being able to find someone for herself, having to go down the process of finding someone like him to make her feel good… 
‘Are all the guys at your agency this nice?’ she looked up from the lip of her can, bringing his mind back into the room.
‘No, Steve is a giant dick,’ Eddie laughed.
‘Right, while you have one,’ she teased.
‘Ha. Funny.’ He pointed at her in appreciation before taking a sip of the beer. ‘But I suppose you’re not wrong.’ She had seen his pictures; she knew what he had in stock. He wondered what she thought of it– sure, she might not have been ready for his regular repertoire, but that didn’t mean “never”.  But what he wanted to know the most, which felt like the biggest surprise, was what did she think of him? For the first time since he started this gig, he wondered what she thought of his appearance. Did she like his tattoos? Was his hair too long, maybe? Were his clothes too shabby? Perhaps it was because she had not actually picked him. She had chosen Steve.
Oh, Stevie. They couldn’t be more different. 
‘Are you sure you’re ok with me… being here?’
‘I am.’ You didn’t know what else to reply to that question. Of course, the night was not going anything like you had expected. Until two hours ago, you were planning to have some alright sex with, what you could describe as a “regular hot guy”. Instead, you were on the bed, fully clothed, drinking a coke next to a Metallica reject. Was it too late to still do any of the things you had initially paid for, or was the mood entirely ruined? Did people recover from going into highly personal and dramatic tangents in front of the escort they had hired? 
‘Ok, cool. Just… making sure. Fair warning, I might do that a few more times through the night.’ The idea of still having an entire night to spend with Eddie made you really happy. Even if you didn’t know what to do with him in this small room. With a large king-sized bed in the middle, and not much else but the essential hotel decor, the room was perfect for exactly the reason you had booked it and not much else.
Just as you thought it was getting a bit too quiet between the two of you and had wanted to speak up with a question, Eddie opened his mouth to say something as well. So you also simultaneously apologised and let the other person say their piece. 
‘No, go ahead,’ you nudged him. Whatever he had to say would probably lead the conversation better.
‘I was just wondering, when you said “help be good with sex”, which aspect are we talking about here? Just regular? Oral? Foreplay? Like, what are we talking about here?’
‘Uhm, pretty much everything.’ You winced at yourself. So far, all your attempts at intercourse had been not great. It always felt awkward and uncomfortable. The guys would get what they were there for and didn’t feel the need to wait around for more. And if it kept on happening, then the math was simple, wasn’t it? Just look at what the overlapping factor was in all the situations. It was eventually your friends one night, after a few bottles of wine, who suggested the idea of just hiring a guy to teach you what to do. It would be so much easier. No feelings, and they know what they are doing. Foolproof plan. 
And somehow, you still managed to make things complicated and weird. 
‘Now see, I don’t believe that,’ Eddie smiled. There was no way she didn’t know how to do anything. Especially since most of it was just pure instinct. There is a reason why people call it “messing around”, and it’s not because of any guide or formula that one should be working off of to get it right. 
‘Well, then you should ask the other guys.’ Again with that little smile, trying to undermine her own feelings. 
‘No, fuck them. I bet they didn’t even make you cum.’ He accused. Her lack of response was enough of an answer. Eddie could bet his entire wage that she thought it was her fault they didn’t get her to climax and that… that actually pissed him off. How often had he had his clients tell him how their husbands, the men supposed to take care of them, never bothered to fulfil their one simple and honestly fucking delicious duty? A thought sparked in his mind, and he couldn’t keep back the grin that sprouted up with it. 
‘What?’ she asked at the sight of his smile. 
‘Have you ever?’
‘Ever what?’
‘Had a climax?’ 
‘Oh,’ the way she got shy talking about it, to Eddie’s embarrassment, turned him on. The best thing was they didn’t even have to play pretend. ‘I mean, I think?’
‘You think?’ He raised an eyebrow. 
‘Yeah, sorry,’ she cleared her throat, ‘Uhm… I’ll just be right back.’ And having said that, she ran to the bathroom. 
As she closed the door, Eddie pondered on the idea of undressing. It would speed things up, possibly breaking the icy wall that closed her off. With one naked person in the room, it was hard to think about much else, which meant less to worry about. But he didn’t think she would actually appreciate it. No, she needed to take it slow. And he would happily guide her through it all. 
You splashed some cold water in your face. There had been no reason for you to run out of the room like that except for being a total chicken. The way Eddie was so open and comfortable, talking about all of that… brought out a new fear in you. One you didn’t know you had. One you couldn’t even identify. You just knew you had to get out from under his gaze. Those big brown honey-glazed eyes. 
Why the hell did you leave the room? He was sitting so close to you. Your legs were nearly touching. He still sat with his legs spread, basically inviting you to get between them. And what do you do? Run away. 
You splashed some more water onto your face. 
There wasn’t much makeup on your face to begin the night, and whatever you had left of your mascara and blush was wiped off with the towel you grabbed. One more look in the mirror to ensure no grey ink streaks down your cheeks, and you were ready to get out again. 
Just one big breath in. and out. 
The bathroom door handle moved silently, and you pulled the door open to be met with Eddie’s chest. He was standing right in front of you. 
‘Oh, hi.’ 
‘Hey, just wanted to make sure you were ok in there.’ He knocked on the door frame in a delayed manner for extra effect. Knock knock. You noticed he had taken off his vest and jacket. Just in his t-shirt now. The sleeves ended right at his biceps, revealing the sleeves of tattoos he hid underneath all those removed layers. 
‘So are you alright?’ he asked when you didn’t respond to what he had said earlier. The question pulled your thoughts out of the clouds and your head up to look him in the eye. 
‘Yeah, yeah, just…’ your mouth was extremely dry. One more second and no words would be leaving it ever again. It was just gonna have to come out now. Then, with a quick exhale,  you admitted. ‘I’ve never had an orgasm.’ From Eddie’s reaction, it didn’t seem to have been any news to him. Like it was the most normal conversation, which, given his job, it probably was. You tried to ignore the thought of him and the many women he must have helped. 
‘Well, I would be more than honoured to change that for you.’ He took a step forward, and the proximity forced you to look up at him to see his eyes. 
‘Is that a rehearsed line?’ Apparently, your one outburst of truth led to the pandora’s box in your brain, and now you couldn’t shut up, saying the first thing that came to your mind. And unfortunately, it was still filled with the images of him with other people; him making all of them feel ecstatic. 
Luckily, Eddie laughed at your presumption. His head tilted back, and when it came back down, and his eyes were once again locked in with yours, his lips pulled up into a smirk. One of his hands found its way up to your cheek before he leaned in. you were ready for him to kiss you, but instead, his breath lingered over your skin. So close that you should have been able to touch him, and maybe you did. Because there was something that made your mind a thick haze, impossible to navigate through. Everything spun around you except for Eddie.
‘So what if I did rehearse it?’ his words hit your jaw as he hovered over you, then whispering directly into your, he asked: ‘What if I’ve already planned 10 different ways in which I want to make you writhe underneath me? Would you mind that?’ Would you mind? 
Whatever for? 
In a shaky breath, you spoke the only thing you could think of at the moment. 
‘Kiss me.’ 
Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. 
He must have been grinning like an idiot, and he could only hope it didn’t put her off as he brought their lips together and kissed her. Deeply. Passionately. 
The hair around her face was slightly wet, as was her jaw, telling him she had just spent the last minute splashing water in her face. She tasted sweet, like the coke she had been drinking earlier. 
Her hand crept up to his collar, shyly grabbing at it and pulling it down, revealing the slightest inch of the tattoo on his clavicle. Not that she would see it, having closed her eyes the second their lips connected. 
Eddie let one of his hands find its way back to her waist. Holding on to each other, they stumbled back onto the bed. She let out a whimper as Eddie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell backwards, taking her right down with him. 
It was a slow tear-away, leaving both in a haze. Eddie watched her sit up straight, straddling him and keeping him locked. If she moved, she would feel how hard he was getting. 
‘I assume kissing was not on the agenda of the lesson?’ He brushed some of his hair out of his face. 
‘Well, if you have any tips–’ she tugged at the bottom of her shirt. A nervous habit, probably, but all Eddie could think about was how he wanted that material as far away from her as possible. 
‘You’re joking, right?’ She must have been. The kiss, though brief, had been… he felt alive after it. His chest was tight as he caught his breath. ‘Fuck, c’mere.’ He pulled her right back. It might have only been one kiss, but it had been more than enough for him. He was already hooked. 
His lips were slightly chapped, but not in any way to make you feel uncomfortable. Nothing that some chapstick before going out into the cold couldn’t solve. You could smell the bitter beer he had just drank, and despite the drink having been cooled, it brought a warmth out in you. This heat swam over your cheeks and the parts of you that he held close. His hands were now back to playing with your shirt. The material was creeping up over your stomach, up up up…
‘Can you take your shirt off first, please?’ she asked nervously once the second kiss parted. Her small voice sent sparks flying down Eddie’s body, directly to his dick.
‘Yeah, ‘course.’ All he could do was smile. She shuffled down his legs to give him space and remove the shirt. There was no way she didn’t feel how tight he was getting in his trousers, but she didn’t show any reaction to it, eyes focused on his chest. Eddie looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten about those. 
‘You have piercings?’ 
He kept on forgetting to update his pictures on the website. It was such a hassle. Taking the time to plan it all in, preferably with someone else, so he could have some action shots. There was the editing, and then he would have to send them into the office so someone could actually upload them… he just couldn’t be bothered. As much as he was meant to keep his clients aware of what they were paying for, it was selfish of him to love their surprised reactions. Just now, the way her eyes immediately locked in on them in surprise. How her hand lightly fought against reaching for him. 
‘You can touch them. It doesn’t hurt.’ He took her hand and placed it right over his chest. She immediately regained control over her body, and her finger lightly traced over the silver bar. Eddie’s body tightened for a second in bliss. ‘See? It feels fucking good, actually.’ He hadn’t meant to whisper the words out or for them to be so shaky. It was supposed to be a light joke to keep the tension away, yet it pulled the atmosphere down to something intense and sultry. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare her away.
But she smiled and leaned in again for a featherlight kiss. Fuck, she could kiss. It was like a gift from the gods themselves. A little piece of heaven. If this was how she kissed every guy, Eddie couldn’t comprehend how they didn’t line up for more. And then her hand kept moving, slowly tracing the ink on his body. Her fingernails grazed over the drawings. Perhaps it was a placebo, but he had always considered the tattoos to be more sensitive than the rest of him. The soft touches made him shake in need of her. 
‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, nearly out of breath, mind spiralling with everything he wanted to do to her. He couldn’t keep it in a straight line anymore. Meanwhile, he was supposed to be the professional here. Meanwhile, she expected him to teach her… he was absolutely fucked. 
And then her following words only made his situation worse. 
‘Just tell me what to do, Eddie.’ Somehow, he missed the exact moment when her lips travelled down to his jaw. It must have been some kind of joke– there was no way this incredible woman did not know what she was doing. 
‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned. He actually groaned. Eddie never did that during his sessions. It just wasn’t something he thought he could do with his clients. It turns out he had never been this turned on by any of them.
It made sense. How often did he think up hour scenarios before meeting the ladies? How often did he imagine he was with someone else? He had thought that maybe, because of the rules of his job and the frequency of his sessions, that maybe sex just wasn’t really anything for him. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job or regretted ever going into the business… money was good, and he was good at what he did. Yet, it was still a job. And jobs could often tire a person out. Maybe he had become desensitised to it all. 
But this proved all of his theories wrong. He was entirely in the moment. Aware of everything that was happening between him and her. Nothing between them was new, or necessarily exciting, and yet it felt like nothing he had felt before. Nothing but kissing sent him down a road he could never return from. 
And now she wanted him to tell her what to do. Yes, in the teaching context, he understood. But was she even aware that this would not be that far from the ordinary things he did in his sessions if they had just removed that context? Just add in some leather and handcuffs. 
‘Take your clothes off, baby.’ He spoke softly, not wanting to roll back into his regular role. This wasn’t that, he reminded himself. He didn’t want it to be that. 
When she started to pull her shirt up, he quickly took over. ‘No, wait, go slower. Take your time.’ Fuck, please take your time, he internally cried out. He didn’t want this night to end. It all felt like a dream, and he didn’t want to get dressed and wake up. He didn’t want to leave because once he did, coming back was not an option for him. 
You followed his instruction, slowly pulling your shirt over your head. Focusing on him. Looking at him prevented you from getting too much into your head. After all, it was hard to think or worry about anything with someone like him, half-naked, under you. You traced his tattoos. They were all black and white, the ink scratchy and uneven on most as if done at home.
Not precisely stick and poke, but not from a studio either. A pull at your heartstrings made you think of how much money you had paid. How much he needed that money… See, hard to think of your own insecurities when looking at him.
Eddie moved up to lean on his elbow. You were sitting still for too long; he must have sensed something was off. With a gentle touch, he stroke your bare skin. You were both shirtless, though you still had your bra on; his hand was sneakily moving up to the strap over your back, ready to unclasp it.
‘What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart.’ It must be some kind of trick he was pulling, something he learned over his experience on the job because of the way your whole body fluttered at the sound of the little nickname… it must be a trick. But there was nothing you could complain about either. 
Once again, your mouth worked faster than your brain, and before you could tell yourself to shut up, you answered with the first question that came to your mind. ‘Do you do anything else… besides this?’ a second later, before he even had the time to react, you butted in with your own response. ‘That is probably way out of bounds. Sorry–’ 
‘Only a little bit,’ he was taking it lightly with a chuckle. Clearly, with no intention of stopping what the two of you had been doing, he littered your jaw and neck with kisses between his answer. ‘I’m in a band. But garage gigs don’t exactly pay the bills.’ You felt him tremble with a laugh against your neck. Eddie had by then sat up and kept you in place on his lap with a tight hold. As he kept kissing you, you let your body speak for itself, closing your eyes and trusting your instincts. Somehow you knew what felt right and what didn’t. Your hips moved of their own accord, grinding against Eddie. You tried not to think about what you were doing, knowing you would just start to freak out and freeze. Instead, you thought of Eddie on stage with his band, imagining him in all the different positions, trying to figure out which instrument fit him best. 
As if he could read your mind, he said, ‘I play guitar.’ His hand had now officially made its mark on your bra, grabbing the backstrap, and wringing it until it unclasped.
‘That’s hot.’
‘Yeah?’ The bra snapped open. Eddie took it upon himself to slide the straps off your arms. You threw the item off to the side of the room, and Eddie didn’t waste a second to bring his attention to your breast.
Had no one ever touched her properly?
All that Eddie did was kiss her tits, and she was almost coming undone. He felt a pang of terrible guilt on behalf of his entire sex. How the fuck did no one make her feel good… not only that. How did men make her feel as if she was the problem? That she had to step her game up and learn. If he ever got his hands on one of those assholes– woah. Calm down. 
‘Yeah,’ you gasped out the small word. ‘So- so hot.’ It was hard to keep a sentence straight when he had his full attention on your nipples.
One preoccupying his lips, while the other was cupped by his large hand. He was rough in his touches, pulling and squeezing, but not in any way that felt too much. On the contrary, you needed more. More of him. 
He switched from one breast to the other in his movements. Then when he pulled away, he kissed you again. Then, he looked you in the eyes, a false seriousness covering his features. 
‘So, let that be lesson one: foreplay. Extremely important before any kind of sex.’ 
‘But… I didn’t do anything?’ You blinked. It was true, wasn’t it? He had been doing most of the work; meanwhile, you hadn’t done anything for him. But Eddie frowned.
‘Oh, baby, you did plenty.’ His hand reached down to his own trousers. ‘You feel this?’ When you hesitated, he took your hand to guide it over his crotch, where you could clearly feel the outline of his dick. ‘Yeah, that’s all you, sweetheart.’ He was so cocky, so confident. 
He kept on talking. ‘And let me ask you one more question.’ For this, he leaned in to almost whisper the words against your hot skin. ‘Are you wet?’ 
‘I don’t know.’ 
Eddie clicked his tongue in disapproval. ‘I think you do know, but let me check then, hmm?’ You weren’t sure how he did it, but he brought you underneath his body in one fell swing. You were now lying on the bed, and he slid down to sit on his knees at the end of the bed. ‘Professional opinion and all, right?’ 
‘Right.’ You hid your face in your hands to laugh. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?
Eddie reached for your hands, making you look down at him. 
‘I wanna see your pretty face.’ But, God, speaking of pretty faces, his smile might have been one of the most beautiful sights in the world. He could have been a model, probably… and yet… 
You didn’t want to look at him, however, when he started unzipping your trousers. The button opened up, and you heard the zipper move down, releasing the tension of the material around your waist. Eddie tapped your hip, telling you to move them up. Once you did so, with one big tug, he pulled the pants down to the middle of your thighs with one big tug. It took him three more to get them off entirely. The next second, the trousers were in the corner of the room, along with your shirts. 
‘Oh, baby,’ his syllables were long, dramatic, playful. ‘You are fucking soaking through these.’ You felt your back stiffen at the feeling of his fingers on you. Two, his pointer and middle fingers, slowly tracing down over the thin cotton. Then he’d roll them back up, letting his knuckles press the slit.
‘Fuck, can’t wait to taste you– can I taste you, baby?’ He asked, eyes pleading you for it. 
‘You don’t have to,’ you responded. The air in the room seemed to be turning colder and sent shivers over your arms. 
‘I know I don’t have to.’ Eddie scoffed, teasing. ‘Let that be lesson two then: if a guy doesn’t want his mouth near your pussy, then you shouldn’t come anywhere near his dick.’ He growled out the last words, and his hand had such a tight grip on your panties, that, with one quick move, he tore the material in two. 
‘Eddie!’ she shouted. 
‘Shit, sorry.’ He got too carried away in everything. ‘I’ll pay you back.’ That’s when he glanced down; it was like his memory was instantly wiped. ‘Oh, fuck yes. Fuck you got the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.’ He left a kiss a few inches above it and slowly made his way down. His fingers returned to the slow up-and-down motion he had done before, and each time, he let himself go deeper. Her body tensed up, and breathing hitched in her throat until it came out in a soft moan. 
‘That’s right,’ Eddie said before one last kiss on the most crucial spot. And this kiss lasted. After a few seconds, he practically made out with her clit, as his fingers entered her.
That is when her hand reached for his hair. The touch was enough to make him moan against her. 
‘Oh fuck,’ she moaned loud, eyes tightly shut in pleasure. Keeping his fingers deep within her, Eddie mused:
‘That’s right, baby. Does it feel good?’
‘So good.’ She dug her nails through his hair, nudging him on to continue whatever he was doing. 
Even though you had not meant to pull at his hair, it was all much more of an impulsive action, Eddie groaned out against. He pulled you in closer, sending the vibrations from his body right through yours. 
You had expected, thinking up this plan of hiring someone to teach you sex, that it would be much more formal. That the guy would give you step-by-step instructions on how to do things, tell you everything directly, and you would follow. Maybe that is how it would be with anyone else, but with Eddie, he made you feel it. Without saying a word, you knew how to listen to him. Through his reactions, you knew what to do. His moans encouraged you to pull his hair, to close your thighs around him. Meanwhile, your response spurred him to go, let his fingers move harder, his tongue slick deeper through you. 
‘Fuck, Eddie, fuck.’ You felt that feeling inside you, the build-up. It wasn’t familiar, for you had only experienced it very few times, mostly on your own. This tension deep within you. It grew, quickly reaching its tipping point. 
Eddie’s free hand fastened itself onto your leg; he seemed to have lost himself in you. Then his eyes moved up, locking right with yourself. A part of you wanted to take a picture of what you saw in front of you and cherish the memory forever. His honey-brown eyes glazed in need of you. This spark of all-knowing deviltry. 
Your whole body tightened as you felt it coming, tighter and tighter, like a rubber band ready to snap.
But instead, Eddie let go of the band as he pulled away from you to accompany your last moan of his name.
A whimper left your mouth, and pleads were ready to follow it, begging him to not stop. Not now. Just a few more seconds. 
‘Lesson number three,’ he wiped his mouth– which was glistening in the room's warm light– with his thumb but never wiping the smug smile off his face. ‘Tease, tease and tease. The longer you keep them waiting, the sweeter their reward will be.’ 
At this point, you could not imagine it being so sweet, as all you felt was a horribly empty feeling, deflating your insides by the second. 
‘Everyone likes that?’ You asked.
‘Hmm, good question.’ Eddie got up to remove his belt. He made a spectacle out of it, sliding the whole strap from between the loops, then throwing it down to the ground. ‘It does probably depend on a person, what their limits are. How much they can last and take.’ Like a showman, he made you watch. Made you wait. ‘I’m sure some people would rather just get on to the final act.’ 
‘Not me?’ you asked as he pulled his jeans down along with his boxers.
Just like the picture. 
‘Hmm,’ with a pondering expression, he fell down onto the mattress beside you. ‘Not you.’ 
‘What makes you say that?’ It took all your willpower to keep looking into his eyes. He, however, wasn’t as courteous. His eyes roamed over your naked body as his hand found its way back between your legs. A quick snap. He slapped your clit lightly, but it was enough to immediately sent a spark through you, nearly bringing you back to the spot of tension. 
‘Just a hunch.’ He slapped you again. 
She was so fucking sensitive. Like a little porcelain doll.
For good measure, and the fact he couldn’t get enough of how her body moved when encountering intense pleasure, he gave that pussy a third and final snap. Maybe he would have kept going, he certainly had not felt like stopping any time soon, but it was when her hand reached for his. Fingers around his wrist. Her eyes closed lightly, mouth parted just a tiny bit, enough for her to whisper his name. 
‘Eddie.’
‘What’s up, sweetheart,’ he leaned in his lips almost on her cheek again. She didn’t respond. ‘Lesson four: always use words. I don’t know what you really want unless you tell me.’ He left sloppy kisses over her face as he dictated. ‘So? What. Do. You. Want?’ He punctuated each word with a touch
‘Fuck me.’ 
‘Of course.’ He had expected her to play around with the words, make him pull it out of him, but no. So, he got up and reached for the wallet in his jeans. He should have checked sooner. This had been too much of a risk, but luckily, the silver foil stuck out immediately. 
She had sat up again to watch him rip the packaging open. 
‘You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now,’ he chuckled to himself whilst pulling the condom out. ‘I have a whole box in my bag with the rest of my stuff.’ He had planned to get it out of his car after meeting her at the bar, but then everything had gone a bit to shit, hadn’t it? 
‘I have a box… in my bag,’ she said, for some reason almost embarrassed. 
‘Someone’s eager, huh?’ Perhaps he didn’t help, but really, he was talking about himself. Eddie could immediately imagine himself being with her for the rest of the night, the entire fucking week if he could, but something told him that after this— that would most likely be it. It was better not to stretch a good thing out. She paid for him to teach her the basics, not exhaust her to her limits, perhaps scare her off of sex forever.
‘No, I just–’ did she notice he was joking? Either way, she hid her face in her hands, laughing at herself. Eddie took the moment that she wasn’t eating him alive with her eyes to get a few pumps in. it wasn’t even needed; he was rock hard; it was just a routine at this point. He let his head roll back a little back as his hand moved up and down, then got on with putting the condom on. 
‘How should we uhm— how do you want—’ you looked for a good way to phrase it as Eddie got back into bed. 
‘Anything particular in mind you wanted to get a hang of?’ he asked. You shook your head no. Stupid. You should have done your research. Come more prepared. 
But could anything prepare you for Eddie? It didn’t seem likely. You could have come in with a four-volume guide, and he would have probably thrown it out the window and shown you a whole new world. 
‘Then we’ll just see where the night takes us, why don’t we?’ He positioned himself on top of you. Arms on each side of your shoulders, stomach hovering over yours. As you both breathed in, you could feel his muscles. He put his weight on one of his forearms as the other hand reached back down between you, moving his fingers in a circular, steady motion. 
Too occupied with how good his touch on you felt, there was no real thought going through your mind when you pulled his face closer to you, kissing him deeply. Your noses pushed against one another. Your fingers rooted down between his hair.  
Eddie spread your legs wider apart, creating the perfect position for himself. 
‘You ok?’ he asked, lips practically still on yours. 
‘Mhm.’ You hummed, but Eddie clicked his tongue, pulling away a few inches to look at you a bit more focused. 
‘Mm, remember rule four?’ 
You didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to think. All you wanted, needed, was him inside you. But you answered: ‘use your words? Let them know what you want.’ 
‘Good girl,’ he kissed you softly. ‘It also goes for consent. Probably should have made that the first lesson, but what can you do? Make clear what and when you want something. If the guy doesn’t listen– I don’t know, kick him in the nuts.’ 
‘Got it.’ You nodded. 
‘So, let’s try it out.’ He didn’t move, just waited for you to speak. 
You took a deep breath. ‘I want you to fuck me, Eddie.’ 
‘There we go. Feels good, doesn’t it?’ His hand returned to rubbing your clit as he moved around above you, getting in the proper position. ‘Quick lesson five: it’s fucking hot when girls say shit like that. So don’t be afraid to get dirty.’ Slowly and carefully, he let himself sink into you. His length filled you up, spread your walls. It was a perfectly tight fit, making it impossible to hold anything in. 
‘Dirty and loud.’ Eddie stayed still, letting you get used to the feeling of him. ‘Don’t hold it in, baby, ok?’ 
‘O-ok.’ Your breath was shaky. Once used to him, you placed your hand on his chest. His hot breath burned your skin.
Eddie kept a slow pace, letting both of you ease into the rhythm of being together, but eventually, you felt your body loosen up. Finally, it wasn’t enough anymore. Was he holding himself in? Could he tell you needed more but was waiting for you to tell him? Teach you your lesson. 
‘More,’ the word was nearly just an exhale, but it was enough for Eddie. He kissed you passionately with a smile, and he plunged deeper inside you. From then on, his thrusts were harder, faster. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over himself. The new change brought in a whole new angle, letting you feel him through your entire body. 
The pleasure was intense, and beautiful. Your mind was scattered, so you didn’t even feel your teeth graze over your lips, locking in your voice. But Eddie noticed. 
The second he caught it, something in Eddie’s mind switched on. As much as he tried to contain that part of himself, keep it away from her, he couldn’t. It was fucking primal. 
He thrust harder than he did before. His hand found its way to her cheek, squeezing it– not too tight, he pulled himself back quickly, but strong enough to show her he meant it– and his words came out in a growl. 
‘What did I tell you, baby? Don’t hold it in.’ A few more deep thrusts left both their bodies shaking with each move. ‘I want to hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.’ His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, and, without another word exchanged, she parted those beautiful lips and granted him access. 
She fucking moaned around it and sucked her own juices off it. Could she taste the sweetness? He hoped she could. He was jealous of every person that ever got to taste it, but he quickly let that thought sink away as he had more pressing questions. 
‘Now, where did you learn that?’ He smiled when he pulled his thumb away, his hips only slightly rearranging the pace as he spoke calmly. 
‘Sorry, was that wrong?’ She blinked. Genuine fucking naivete. Eddie could barely hold it in anymore. 
‘Only in the sense that it got me this close to blowing my load before you got even close.’ He quickly regained his speed.
From that point on, she didn’t hold back. Her moans were beautiful. The sound of his name comes directly from the centre of her pleasure was like hitting the jackpot. If only he could live off those cute noises, he’d be the wealthiest man on earth. The luckiest. The happiest. 
What the fuck was wrong with him? 
But shit were her tits a sight for sore eyes. Looking at them, he couldn’t go a second without touching them. For a moment, he got scared he was too rough, but then the claws came out– almost literally. Her nails dug into his back. It would leave marks, and Eddie couldn’t wait to see them when he looked in the mirror the following day. 
‘Eddieee,’ it came out so shaky, so desperate. He could tell she was getting close. It took much less than expected. He had a thousand things in his head that he still wanted to do with her, show her, but even he realised then it was wishful thinking. His own words from minutes ago reverberated in his mind. 
You’re making me feel really unprofessional right now.
He was ready to burst, and it only took a few minutes in missionary. Usually, he could go for ages.
Then again, he hadn’t been this turned on in a long time. 
‘You close, baby?’ He asked and almost hoped to hear yes; Eddie didn’t know how much longer he could last, and if he came before her– he could never live that down. 
But she was lost in him, too far down to appropriately respond. That wasn’t good. Eddie slowed down a bit. ‘Hey, hey, you alright?’ 
‘Yes,’ you took a deep breath, ‘please don’t stop. Not now.’ He was making you feel incredible. In a matter of a few minutes, you felt like you had reached the seventh heaven. Absolute bliss. 
But perhaps you didn’t feel how much you actually felt. As good as it was, this overwhelming sensation pulled you away from everything around you. When Eddie brought you back, with the softness of his voice and the touch of his hands, only then you realised how far down you had been.
‘Are you sure? We can take a break.’ Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any signs of trouble, but before he could spiral, you halted him. A few deep breaths were all it took for you to be present. 
‘I’m ok. Thank you.’ You kissed him. Whatever anyone would say if they heard about your plan, this was how you knew you had made the right choice. Or perhaps how you knew that the universe wasn’t always against you. Tonight, it brought you Eddie. Whether it was a freak accident or not, you would never regret the choices that led to it. 
Eddie continued what he was doing, giving you all his attention. To all of you. You didn’t feel like an inch of your body went down forgotten. Meanwhile, he was all you could think about. It was like the world around you dissolved. A fire could have burned down the entire room, and you don’t think you would have even noticed. Not with Eddie’s cock deep inside you. He didn’t falter. Each thrust was full of him, hitting the perfect spot. Mind-numbing, toe-curling and… 
Soon, you felt that feeling again. That tightness inside you. This time even tighter than previously. It was to be expected that Eddie knew what he was talking about. The longer the wait, the better the reward. And to think only a little time had passed since the two of you entered the hotel room. Not much time at all compared to how much you wished you could be with him. Was it insane? Probably, but you didn’t care.
You just wanted him, and you would take as much as he could give you. 
Eddie could feel how close she was. 
It had definitely scared him when he saw how far down she had been, already blaming himself for taking it too far. He had been ready to pull the plug and return her all the money. It didn’t matter if her payment had actually gone to his account; he would make sure that his fuck ups were compensated. 
But she was fine. Like a little firecracker that she was, she kissed him, wiping his whole mind clear of anything but her. Her and that sweet, sweet taste. 
It didn’t take much longer for breathing to break up in quick succession. Moans got louder, likely uncontrolled, and her grip on his tighter. Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he loved it. 
‘C’mon baby, come on.’ He encouraged her to lose all of her control. Lose herself to the pleasure. She needed to know how it was to be treated right. He needed her to know. And he didn’t know how much more he could keep it going. His last few thrusts still reached the deepest parts of her, and got everything out of her he wanted, but he felt himself lose his momentum. With each second, it was getting harder to concentrate. 
‘Oh my god-’ she whimpered as she released underneath him with a high-pitched scream at that. As much as he wanted to hear all of it, he kissed her to mute it. There was no need for the neighbours to get concerned. 
Though from all the other noises they made, from how the bed shook and banged against the wall, they would make the correct assumption. 
Not much later, as she was still coming undone, Eddie let himself reel in the pleasure. Then, stilled within her, his lips on her neck now, he came. When he pulled away, he wished he could have left a mark on her, but he knew that would be a step too far. 
‘Thank you’ were the first words to come out of her mouth when he discarded the full condom in the trash. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t like feeling naked post-sex, but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Maybe she expected more. If so, he could give it to her, but he just wasn’t sure– 
‘It’s my pleasure,’ he sat on the edge of the bed, just in reach to place his hand on her leg. They were both covered in sweat, naturally, but the cold was taking over. ‘You should get under the covers.’ The last thing he wanted was for her to get sick.
‘Right.’ She pulled at the corner of the blanket– always a much more arduous task than necessary in hotel rooms when they’re tucked in deeper than the pits of hell. As soon as she pulled the white sheet over her body, Eddie regretted his choice of words. It was probably the last time he would have seen her naked, and he didn’t even take a moment to appreciate what he had in front of him. 
He found his underwear, which was almost kicked under the bed. When he resurfaced, her face was full of worry. The furrow of her brows was enough to tell him that. 
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he covered himself up. 
‘I’m sorry.’ 
‘I don’t understand.’ 
‘I didn’t do anything. I asked you to help me figure this out, and we just–’ 
‘No, hey, hey.’ Eddie practically jumped into bed next to her. Cupped her face in his hands and made sure she looked at him as he spoke. ‘First of all, if this is how you feel, I should be the one to be sorry since I clearly didn’t do my job. So I’m sorry. But you have no reason to think you didn’t do well. This was amazing.’ He could only hope she knew just how much he meant his words. That she could trust a complete stranger with words as much as she did with their bodies. 
‘No, Eddie, it’s not that you didn’t teach me anything, but I– there’s still so much I don’t know. Fuck, I still have no idea how to suck a guy off.’ 
Eddie cursed under his breath. Just from those words, he could feel himself twitching against his boxers. This girl was going to be the death of me. She kept on talking. 
‘Would it be ok if we do this again? Not as an accident this time, I will book you.’ 
He wanted to say yes so badly. But he had to keep his mind clear as he answered. ‘I don’t think that will be a good idea.’ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted to punch himself in the gut. 
‘I try to keep a strict one-time, no repeating clients policy. It makes the job much easier,’ Eddie explained. 
‘No, I understand.’ Having to do this with the number of people he does… you couldn’t imagine how that was. How other people would be with him, and what could have happened for him to make such a rule in the first place. 
‘I would say you should try Steve for real, but I don’t believe you need any “sex lessons”. 
‘Right,’ you scoffed away the comment, but Eddie was persistent. 
‘I mean it. I can tell that you have a whole talent in there for this shit. You just need to find the right guy to bring it out in you because whoever you’ve been in the past, clearly, they weren’t doing it right. Then you will learn everything else you want to learn by yourself. Basically like you did now.’ He gave you a kind smile, and you tried to replicate it. 
‘I did need you.’ You couldn’t look at him as you said it.
‘Ehhh– not so sure about that. For a while, I thought you just wanted me for my body.’ He fell over to his back, hand on his chest as if he had just been shot. ‘That shit can hurt, you know.’ He was so dramatic and made you laugh so easily. You had never expected anything like that to happen that night. 
A body to adore was one thing, but he might miss her smile even more. 
‘Are you feeling alright?’
‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ She blinked. Eddie pushed down the anger he felt at all those morons that had not treated her right before.
‘Let that be your final lesson then,’ he pushed down another instinct, this time to make a cheesy reference that she might not get. There was no need to make the mood weird or awkward now. Eddie cleared his throat. ‘Lesson… what number are we on, six?– Lesson six: aftercare. Just check up on yourself to see if you’re able to carry on afterwards. While always quite vital, the more intense the session, the more important the aftercare. It keeps you stable.’ 
She nodded in understanding. ‘So, how would that look?’
‘Well, let’s see…. Are you sore? Do you need anything?’ Once again, he was mad at himself for going into this without his usual stuff. While his bag was mostly filled with toys that might be a bit too much for her, he also had plenty of shit to make her feel better if needed. 
‘No, I don’t think so.’ 
‘Ok, do you need something to drink? Eat?’ Before she even replied, Eddie lunged for the can of soda she had discarded on the desk opposite the bed. The bubbles would have mostly flattened by now, but it was still a liquid to drink. 
‘Not really,’ she said as he handed her the can and took a small sip. ‘Ok, maybe a little bit.’ They both smiled as she emptied the can of its last chug. 
‘More?’ Eddie asked as he tried to read it off of her. 
‘No, I’m good.’ Just like before, she started tapping on the can. Now empty, it sounded even more hollow. 
‘And was everything alright? I was scared I might have gone too far at one point.’ 
The way you could see the genuine concern and worry in Eddie’s eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him, kiss him, and never let him go. To think that a few hours ago, neither of you was even aware of the other’s existence. That you weren’t supposed to be aware, that it was all a giant coincidence. And that after tonight… that would be all that it ever was. 
Here was this fantastic man taking care of you better than any other guy had. 
Sure, you paid him to do it, but something in you, call it a freaky instinct, told you that that was just who Eddie was. He wanted to take care of you. 
Maybe that’s why he went into the business. Who could really tell?
‘It was perfect,’ you told him because it was. 
‘Ok, good.’ He nodded, smiling shyly. It was the first time that night that you saw a crack in the confident front of the guy. 
‘Really, thank you.’ You reached for his hand, and his eyes followed it. He looked as your fingers lazily intertwined while you watched him.
‘You, uhm, you should probably go to the bathroom. Make sure you wash all of me out. Make it a standard practice, really.’
‘Will do,’ your voice wasn’t hoarse, yet you whispered. It suddenly became hushed in the room. It could have been quiet all this time, but it was then that you grew aware of it. 
You didn’t want to leave the bed, or Eddie, just yet, but you knew you should listen to his professional advice. Everything he had told you so far felt like the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe you also knew of them already, maybe did it too, but it only made sense when it came from Eddie.  ‘Don’t leave yet, ok? I want to say goodbye.’ The idea of him being gone when you came back felt gut-wrenching for many reasons, but all unknown. 
All Eddie did was nod. 
When you returned, he had just put his shirt back on. His belt was in his jeans loops but not yet fastened. Was it weird to watch him get dressed? It felt more like a thing real couples did, which you were far from. It felt stranger doing so whilst you were still completely naked, so you grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe on the bathroom shelf and pulled it on, tying it tightly around your waist. 
‘That’s me then.’ Eddie scratched the back of his neck, looking around, most likely checking if he didn’t forget something. A part of you hoped he did. He would realise it only hours later and rush back to find it. That this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet. 
A girl could wish. 
‘Right.’ You put on a brave face as you made your way to the door. ‘Thank you again. For everything.’
All Eddie did in response was nod with a tight-lipped smile. 
The door was open now. He was already on the threshold. Compared to the soft glow of your room, the corridor's light felt jarring to your eyes. Just like that, it was over.
You could not believe this was the end. It ended as quickly as it started. A whole whirlwind of… everything, really. 
Before you could stop yourself, one last question burst through your lips. 
‘Is Eddie your real name?’ You immediately regretted your entire life, couldn’t believe you had done that. ‘I’m so sorry, just ignore me. I don’t know why I said that–’
But Eddie beamed. He took your hand in his. ‘As real as anything tonight was.’ and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. He started walking before your wrist even hit your hip. 
You couldn’t watch him walk away, so you closed the door and your eyes before he went too far. A minute later, you cursed to yourself.
The whole aftercare thing- You never got to ask if he was ok.
Fuck.
the end.
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thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist. - also made a lil playlist based on this fic, told through taylor swift songs
and please support your (not so) local creators by liking AND reblogging.
I would love to know what you thought of the story, so please consider leaving a comment, or maybe an ask or even an anonymous review ;P
you are also more than welcome to join the taglist. right here.
Eddie (smut, 18+) taglist part 1:
@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington @billyhargrovesprincess @annikin-im-panicin @kaitieskidmore1 @yesv01 @princess-aries
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angelltheninth · 1 year
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Warm Showers Always Help
Pairing: Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, shower sex, grinding, clit stimulation, slight scent kink, cum stays inside, bathing/washing together, praise, dirty talk, cockwarmng
Word count: 0.9k
A/N: I love when I get these random inspirations when I'm writing completely unrelated things from this fandom.
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You're always up for a nice shower when you and Dick are done with your morning training routine. What you realized as you were walking towards said shower however was that Dick was up for things other than just a shower.
"Need a hand?" You smirked as you made a deliberate move to push your ass against his cock while also taking your top off.
"Oh I'm gonna need more than a hand with this little problem." Dick smiles against your neck, his hands rubbing your hips and fingers dipping into your training shorts. "Interested?"
"Very. But I wouldn't exactly call your problem little. Although I guess you are Dick, so this could be little Dick." You could feel his cock twitching with need against your ass, a stifled groan left his lips as one of his hands reached for your breast.
"Please never call it that again." You noted the humor in his voice, he found it funny too just didn't want to admit it. There would be time for jokes later, now the two of you had a different task at hand. "How about you hop and get ready for me?"
You wiggled against him harder, "Because you're already ready?" Judging by the hardness he was more then ready. He frequently got boners when training with you. Which is why he saves it for when it's just the two of you. He does not want, or need, his family taking notice of this and teasing him for it later.
"Yeah." He said a little sheepishly, smirking with that almost boyish charm and rubbing the back of his neck.
Humming in acknowledgment you took off the rest of your clothes and stepped into the shower. You winked back at him and waived, before making it very clear that that same hand traveled between your legs. You let out a breathy moan and right as started circling your clit you turned on the shower to cover up some of the sound. Head thrown back your other hand joined, moving both faster and faster as you registered Dick's clothes hitting the floor and his more and more labored breathing.
And finally felt his warm body pressed against yours, his cock against your ass, his frame closing you in against the shower wall.
"Wait. Don't wash up just yet." You turned your head around and nosed against his neck, "You smell really good after training."
Dick chuckled and moved to press his lips against your shoulder, "I smell like sweat babe."
"And I like that. Its so... you. And maybe a bit like me. Like us." You sighed and spread your legs, one arm leaving your wet pussy to slide up Dick's face. He grasped it with his own hand and brought your fingers to his mouth to taste.
"Like us." He repeated as he playfully bit your ring finger.
With his knees he moved your legs apart and bend down a little to properly position the tip of his cock with your pussy opening. His cock was warm, and further warming up as it entered and filled you up. Your hands moved to the slippery wall, Dick's hand over yours while his other hand replaced yours on your clit, rolling it in slow, deliberate, tight circles as his cock pulled in and out in a slow, deep, rocking motion.
It kept you on the edge of something, but never fully toppling over. You could feel him twitching inside your warm, slippery walls, his balls lightly hitting against you. Your free hand reached behind you and tangled into his hair thanks to his head being near your ear so his lips could taste your skin.
"We should... actually start washing up." You signed in between moans.
"Should we? Do you want me to stop then?" Oh he was being a little evil now, "I certainly don't. Your pussy's hugging me so well. And I know it's not this slippery from the shower."
"Don't stop. Don't you dare stop now. I'm close. I know you can feel how close I am Dick." You clenched your walls around his cock, intent on getting him there too.
"I've been close for a while now. You're on the pill right? I can finish inside?" His hips smacked against your ass faster, his kisses more open and needy, his thumb pressing longer and longer on your clit as he thrust his cock into you.
You whimpered and nodded quickly, too afraid that you couldn't quite use words properly right now. "Insi-fuc-!"
Dick was never able to resist your sweet pleas. Not when your cunt made those sweet, enticing, sloppy sounds that only became sloppier when you arched your back and fluttered around him, further lubing up his cock with your wetness.
"I love you so much. Have I told you that today? How much I love you?" He whispered against your ear, his pace increasing, until he went still behind you. A rush of warmth flooded your insides in quick bursts. Dick kept kissing you all the while.
"How can you be so damn sweet while fucking me in the shower." You laugh out once you catch some of your breath. "I like you sweet, but I thought all that adrenaline might, you know, make you go wild on me."
Dick smirked against your neck and gently nibbled on it, "Is that what you want? I could be wild for you. Anything for you." He would do anything for you. You knew that. "As long as I get my dose of cuddles."
"Those are non-negotiable." You kept trading kisses and sweet words as you eventually did get washed up. Hands kept wondering, Dick's cock still inside you, which made some areas harder to reach but you were both very flexible individuals. Lucky you.
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Things from the ruin dlc that keep me up at night.
Spoilers under the cut.
SERIOUSLY DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE AVOIDING SPOILERS.
Disclaimer: I wrote this before I had seen Everything the DLC has to offer or all the endings yet. I was on the wrong track, but I think my cooking before I knew everything was good cooking. I have more concrete theories now under #danachan's rants
Something that I was 100% right about that I was going to write into Lofi eventually.... But I guess I'll talk about it now since the dlc confirmed it.
But Balloon Boy world was literally Eclipses cage as I suspected. It was suppressing them. It wasn't an evil arcade or Eclipse was living in there. Eclipse's AI was being suppressed in the arcade cabinet.
Eclipse is how they talk to eachother, and Eclipse was asleep and completely blocked off from the Virus. So Sun and Moon had no communication with eachother anymore. Which is why they were both so stressed and lost.
I was astounded I got that completely correct in regards to what Eclipse is, and what the balloon boy game is.
(the dlc does not explain the Dcas weird connection to Vanessa and why the arcade cabinet was in Afton's boss fight room though)
Bonus points Moon talks exactly how I write him when speaking about the Sun and the Moon.
Another thing that has been mind-blowing me that all the comic book endings are scenarios that GREGORY DREW.
And according to the dlc....
The Afton Burntrap Blob ending is another one of those endings that he drew.
Which means Peepaw Afton and the Blob were never real in the first place.
Which is why no one could really figure out what the blob is.
It doesn't exist.
Princess Quest ending was the canon ending.
Vanessa leaving the Pizzaplex with Gregory is the canon ending.
The ending where you fight Afton in the basement.... Never happened and was just Gregory attempting to make sense of the FNAF lore that Vanessa probably explained to him. Since in the DLC, we do find a book about Fazbear History in Vanny's room.
I honestly don't know if Steel Wool retroactively made Burntrap non-canon due to everyone making fun of him, not taking him seriously and hating the blob, or if this was always the case. Because despite the Afton ending being the hardest to get.... It's still a two star ending.
So it's hard and too early for me to tell if I want to give them points for that soft retcon. I mean I don't blame them honestly.
But yeah. Skeleton man Afton in the basement and his best friend the Blob isn't actually real, and neither is Freddy's "I am not me" speech either.... Which honestly makes sense. Because it's all Gregory's comic book trying to make sense of FNAF Lore he doesn't understand.
Also, I can say definitively, and finally, Afton is not the Mimic. Glitchtrap exists as its own entity in this, and the Mimic seems to have its own agenda. It's unclear if Afton is possessing the Mimic via virus corruption, but for now, I believe the Mimic is acting of its own will.
And man oh man. I feel so sorry for people who haven't been keeping up with Tales of the Pizzaplex Books.
The ending of the dlc is just really "who's Henry???" From pizzasim all over again huh....
Anyways. Those are my thoughts. I will be streaming the dlc again tomorrow. Gonna try and get a better ending, but I have a suspicion they're all sad.
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doobea · 5 months
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DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE
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synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.
-> MASTERLIST. -> PLAYLIST.
contents: second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration in the beginning as per usual whoops, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, grandparental meeting, reo x stardew valley vibes, of course y/n and reo get together duh, nagi's been shipping them together since high school word count: 3.9K a/n: FINAL PART OUT YAY :3 thank you for joining me on this journey hehe this was also my first time attempt of writing reo so hopefully his characterization went ok ;-;
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VEGA -> prev.
You get the feeling that Nagi is up to something, after a while.
Well, Nagi is always up to something — gaming and dozing off, to be exact. This time, though, all of his attention seems to be fixated on you.
“That’s not your sweater,” he says, pointedly, one day, when you waltz into their apartment with a handful of pastries. You decided to make a detour trip to a local bakery earlier in the morning, carefully curating the palettes of the two males because —well— after that happened you felt like a small offering would be needed in a way. 
Like how many others delegate, the kiss was rather… confusing to all. Nagi doesn’t bring it up when you three all return back to festival grounds, nor does he bring it up to Reo when you finally go home. Reo’s been texting you like all things are normal, and you guess it’s because he doesn’t really know what to do either. Though, he’s been more endearing than usual over text, which you take as a sign that something is progressing.
Let’s just say that it’ll be weird for you to wake up without a ‘good morning, did you eat yet?’ text from a certain billionaire’s son.
Backstory aside, Nagi’s not lounging around for once. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands from a brand you’re not familiar with. Judging by its fine print font and pastel color scheme, you assumed that Nana stopped by not too long ago. And his gaze isn’t leaving your sweater. Whatever, you’re probably not wearing it correctly anyway. Stupid rich people problems.
“It’s Reo’s,” you say, lightly, and scoot by him to place down the baked goods. “He accidentally gave me his sweater when he returned my things, that’s all.” 
It wasn’t an accident. Reo had made sure to spray that sweater with all the cologne he had. The sweater is warm, comfortable, and smells just like him. It’s nice.
Nagi gives you a look. It’s not a strong look, but it’s obvious enough to make your cheeks heat up. “Uh huh,” he deadpans before giving you a full up-down. “You’re wearing it, though.”
“Yeah, I am,” you shrug it off, trying to pretend that you don’t understand what the big deal was. 
Okay, yeah, your best friend suddenly kisses you and now you’re rethinking about your life choices since high school because you were so sure that you liked his other friend. And the fact that you kissed back? Was that supposed to happen? And you didn’t wear this sweater today in hopes of Reo seeing you, nope that’s not it. Reo doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy because this sweater does all of that. It’s a comfort thing and Reo doesn’t bring you comfort… right?
You apparently have some cheesy expression written all over your face, though, and that causes Nagi to pinch your cheek to snap you back to reality. “Suits you,” Nagi decides to end the topic before shifting to the main subject. “Reo’s out this morning.”
“I wasn’t trying to see him,” you grumble out, eyes narrowing as you fix yourself a latte and adding way too many shots of espresso to fight off your internal turmoil. You add a large serving of caramel syrup to balance out the bitterness and then top it off with a heavy serving of whipped cream, sighing happily as you get a mouthful of the sugary concoction within the first sip.
Nagi simply shakes his head and drains the rest of his drink in one go. “Well, he’s been talking about you nonstop, if that makes—” Nagi stops in his tracks when he watches your ears perk up. “—you happy…”
At this point, Nagi probably thinks everyone is in on a poorly executed inside joke, except for him. He doesn’t like it, but what can he do? His two best friends are now awkwardly pinning each other and neither of them are sparing him any details. Then again, he’s not sure if he wants all the details. So, instead of poking a dead fish around, he exits to the living room and throws on a weekly series that he’s been meaning to catch up on. These past two months have been quite tiring.
You eventually join him on the couch, body now running on full blast of caffeine and loads of caramel. “Sei, tell me everything that he’s said, please?” and you throw out your best attempt at puppy eyes because you know that Nagi has always been horrible at saying no to these kinds of things.
But maybe getting a girlfriend has changed him, somewhat.
“You’ll hear it from him, eventually,” Nagi simply answers, smiling.
Of course, regardless of how many times you repeat yourself, Nagi would spit back the same response. Since when did he start caring for Reo’s secrecy all of a sudden? Pretty lame. You zone out when an action sequence comes on the screen and begin texting Reo.
‘where are you’ You text over a character monologue in the background.
‘At some stores, picking up last minute gifts for later.’ Reo replies back with a series of emojis.
By ‘stores’, you would only guess it’s nothing but high-end designer stuff. ‘Gifts’ implying that he’s buying multiple for your family and relatives. ‘Later’ is when the two of you will depart on visiting your hometown for the weekend because it turns out Reo was actually serious about taking up your off-handed comment.
‘i told you not to get anything!!’ You send an angry emoji right after. 
Nagi is absolutely reading over your shoulder, too, and if looks could kill, you’re pretty sure you’d be in a million pieces, burning to bits on the floor. “Got a hot date with Reo, huh?”
“Well, you didn’t want to come and we’re not dating…” you huff before pushing him away. “And stop reading my texts!”
“Don’t text while I’m watching my show, it’s distracting.” Nagi shoots back, and you don’t really have an argument for that.
Though, you just glare at him until he eventually backs off and you go back to texting Reo, a bit more subtly, talking about various expensive gifts that he can get instead of showing up to your family doorsteps with diamonds and silk robes. You haven’t had anyone from the city come visit your hometown, so you’re a little nervous to say the least. Especially since someone accompanying you is several tax brackets ahead…though Reo wouldn’t judge you differently. Because he likes you, in more ways than one. Fuck.
You’re ignoring a lot of things happening right now, and bringing him over to meet your family is making you feel weird. Ugh, whatever.
In the end, Reo ends up returning half of his purchases because apparently designer bags and jewelry won't serve your grandparents that well in their everyday lives. So he opts to buy them expensive fruits instead. Fruits are already expensive in the country, so when Reo showed up with boxed grapes that costed more than your current outfit, you could've sworn your eyes were about to pop out of your sockets.
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Reo should’ve known better than to wear anything remotely formal when he agreed to come visit your hometown. Tailored suits are expensive and difficult to replace and, from what he’s experienced within the past hour, the mud that’s been splattered all over his dress shoes and pants haven’t gone away no matter how much cleaning reagent he’s used so far. But complaints are off the table, no matter how much he absolutely wants to point out the sweltering heat and the lack of air conditioning in your home. 
The plane ride over wasn’t any better. You blatantly refused to use his credit card for first-class seating upgrades regardless how many times he’d begged you.
“It’ll only be a two hour flight, Reo. Plus, economy isn’t that bad.” You reasoned. 
Oh, but it was.
He’s a gentleman and gentlemen should always let others pick which seat they want first. Window seat was a non negotiable for you, and he didn’t really mind. What he did mind was the random stranger seated to his right.
Screen brightness — max.
Volume settings — max.
Chewing noises — sadly, also max.
It’s a miracle that he didn’t flag down an attendant and leave you for first class. Well, flight aside, landing happens and, inevitably, comes the next part.
“Are you enjoying your stay so far?”
Your grandmother comes into view, coming to Reo’s rescue with a sunhat and a bottle of water, and the basket next to her was already filled to the brim with all types of vegetable assortments from the garden. Reo graciously takes the hat and sips of the water before glancing down at his own basket, which is very much barren. He thought offering to help with harvesting will win him some brownie points, but he should’ve known how dirty it would get.
“It’s definitely different from what I’m used to, but it’s nice here.” He’s honest about the last part. 
The city doesn’t offer much in terms of parks and recreational activities and, despite the fact he’s pretty sure his button up is practically attached to his skin and that there’s probably a centipede (or two) crawling in his shoes, the whole nature thing is pretty serene. Your parents’ old home is a cozy cottage right off the side of the country road, surrounded by rice paddy fields with a wide range of mountains in the backdrop. Occasionally, Reo would see truck drivers making pit stops out in the front to either pick up a small shipment or make small talk with your grandfather — it’s completely foreign to him given that he’s so used to the stuffy business world. Seeing all of this makes Reo understand why some would enjoy a life of simple living and solitude. 
Your grandmother laughs. “We were afraid that you wouldn’t like it here.”
To this, Reo digs his hands back into the soil and pulls out a set of carrots in hands. “Sorry, did I give off that impression?” Says the boy who’s currently dressed head to toe in formal wear. Idiot. 
“Our granddaughter has been…” she trails off for a moment, finger pursed to her lips and head tilted, before finishing. “She’s been blowing up the family group chat about this trip for a while now. Safe to say she’s been worried.” 
Oh. That’s news.
Reo wipes off the puddle of sweat from his face and straightens his back. “It’s beautiful and peaceful here, you wouldn’t be able to get this back in the city. Everyone’s been really nice and the food,” he points down to the field. “You wouldn’t be able to get these without them costing an arm and a leg for the sake of being ‘organic’.”
“Sounds like you want to move here.”
And for the sake of earning those brownie points, “Yeah, I can see myself doing that one day.”
“Imagine that. Can’t stay away from our granddaughter, right?” she teases, and it causes him to do a double take.
“W-What?”
She ignores Reo’s stammering and hands him a pair of gloves and a metal bucket. “Once you finish picking the rest, come meet me by the farmhouse, the cows need some attention.”
Reo might have to rethink his career path after this trip.
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“Can you tell your cousins to knock it off, please?” Your best friend is grumbling and hiding behind you for all things safety related.
One thing you forgot to mention, outside of the laborious work, is that your little cousins are an absolute menace to outsiders. The youngest one has been non stop terrorizing Reo around the house with a live grasshopper while the older one keeps throwing him glares and middle fingers. This has been going on right after dinner and Reo’s getting really sick of them and their chattering about how they hate seeing you with someone that needs ‘pampering’.
You huff and roll your eyes playfully. “You think I haven’t tried shutting them up?”
“Good point,” Reo groans from behind. He’s gripping your shoulders as if he’s on life support, shaking every time the youngest one raises the grasshopper closer. “Can’t you just give them an iPad or anything?”
“And what? So they can turn into those kids who stare at a screen all day? No thank you.” You tease, but you give your cousins a final stern look before getting to their eye level. 
Reo watches, silent but amused, as you pluck the insect out of the boy’s grasp and pinch his cheek with a light tug, not enough to shed tears but enough to cause him to yelp. You motion the older one over, who just grumbles under his breath but obeys anyway.
“Big sis, we swear we’re just playing together—” the older one starts, and you simply respond with a hard head shake.
“That’s not how we treat guests in our home. Last time I checked, you guys didn’t like it when I made you clean out the pig pen for fun,” you retort with a casual grin. “Time to head back to auntie’s place anyway, it’s way past your bedtimes.”
Both of them sigh in defeat, but that doesn’t stop them from throwing up a pair of middle fingers at Reo. Hey, down with the rich — they’re on the right track in life. And you know deep down they’re just looking out for you ever since your experience in high school, even if the hatred towards city folks is on the extreme side.
You’re stifling a laugh as the pair leave the house. Reo loosens his grip on your shoulders when they are out of ear shot and nudges your sides because you still have that damn grasshopper in your hands.
“Puke or cry in my house and I’m making you sleep with the cows tonight.” The threat is spoken casually, with a bit of affection to it, but Reo knows damn well it’s a valid threat.
“I’m not going to puke or cry,” he replies, haughtily. “And, for the record, I helped the cows earlier today so I’m practically their mother.”
“Oh yeah, thanks for that, you didn’t have to.” You gently toss the grasshopper out the kitchen window, making sure it landed on a patch of soft grass. “Grandma was constantly raving about you after you finished. Saying something about planning the next weekend trip together.”
“Yeah, might as well help around, you know?” Reo weakly chuckles and briefly looks down at his hands. What he doesn’t add is that his hands are going to be sore for the next few days and that maybe your grandparents think he’s going to move in with them in the future. Something of that sort.
“It’s not the worst idea,” You grin. The sun is down, and the stars in the sky are starting to poke through. You catch Reo trying to get a good look before an idea pops up. “My room has a pretty good view of everything, if you want to head up?” You would offer to lay outside but, considering that the ecosystem here offers much bigger bugs, you decided against it.
Unsurprisingly, Reo takes up on the suggestion.
Your old bedroom is sparsely furnished, and that’s intentional. Most of your personal belongings are currently at your college apartment. All that’s left is a full sized bed, an old boxy television with an equally old boxy stand, a couple of bookshelves stuffed full of children's books, and one of those large colorful beanbags by the window sill. 
It’s a nice bedroom, for all things considered. A lot more vibrant and has more character than Reo’s old bedroom growing up. From what he’s shown you before, his bedroom was almost a black and white minimalist’s wet dream. 
“It’s a bit dusty, hope you don’t mind.”
Your bedroom window has a nice view of the mountain side, and Reo’s quickly distracted by the swarm of fireflies and night stars as he quickly shoves his suitcase into the corner and settles on your bed without a second thought. 
“I like it,” He replies, in a careful, casual voice. And maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear, your best friend sounds both anxious and excited, and maybe there’s a hint of nerves in there, too. Whatever it is, your stomach is back to doing those weird flips.
You try to think. You’re aware of several things right now. First, your best friend is making himself very comfortable in your bed. Second, he’s giving you a look, one that just screams some sort of smug superiority. Third, despite it being humid and warm in your room, you really just want to bury your face into his shoulder. Maybe you should climb in with him, look at the stars together, curled up and snuggling, maybe even run your fingers through his hair, and—
“So,” Reo interrupts and snaps you out of your strange reverie. “You’re sleeping on the floor, right?”
“Huh?” your voice is bleary, and your thoughts are kinda far off. Reo shuffles his way under your sheets and suddenly you put two and two together. “I saved you from those little demons and this is the thanks I get?” 
“I deserve it since I worked,” Reo sighs, dramatically, when you finally find the courage to sit down on the ends of the mattress. “Or did you want to share it together?” Tease oozes into his tone.
That last bit makes your heart skip a couple of beats. Alcohol wasn’t in the dinner mix and, even if it was, Reo would never be this bold in front of you. Perhaps there’s something floating in the summer air.
“Stop pretending that you live here,” but you eventually settle yourself underneath the blankets too, just on the other side to put some good inches in between.
Reo’s smiling, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t bother you when he manages to hog all the blankets and the limited amount of pillows. He’s a gentleman, but also has his needy side that he’s not afraid of showing. Not to mention that he looks good in the dim lighting, even though he’s only been wearing one of your grandpa’s old t-shirts after working in the field. It finally makes the strange fluttering in your stomach calm into a steady, present warmth, and that’s maybe more problematic, but you don’t give it any real thought.
Reo speaks up after a few passing heartbeats. “Can I… say something?” 
You swallow thickly. “Go for it.”
It can’t be just your imagination, the way Reo’s mouth parts, just a little, the way his tongue is dating out to wet his lips. You’re leaning forward, hand reaching down between. You can’t stop looking at him. 
“I want…” Reo tries to say, but his throat is a giant lump.
“Reo,” You breathe out in response, head tipping, “If you keep looking at me like that, then…”
It comes in swift moments, with Reo pressed close, with both of your hips bumping together, with arms slung over the other’s shoulder. There’s been those moments of laughter, where it feels as if the whole world has faded away in a blur beyond the gaze of your best friend. It’s cliche and dumb, but you feel, in a way, that you’ve been looking at Reo for your life. And you have, really, because he’s always been there for you.
There’s a lot of things that Reo could say. They’re burning on his tongue, building in his throat, getting stuck there. He should just push them out, just say it. Or, maybe, he should say nothing at all, because that wonder and those answers are all reflected in your gaze.
Both of you are so close that he can make out every strand of your lashes. He can see the subtle shift of color in your eyes, the dark band increasing around your pupils, that slight nervous glimmer there. It’s got Reo’s heart pounding in his chest, hammering to be freed. He’s got one hand pressed into the small of your back, stroking there, slow and affectionate. His other hand is trembling, just a little, and he steadies himself bracing it against your cheek.
It’s got you shivering, and Reo realizes that you’re both a bit terrified.
“I want to be yours,” Reo might be nervous as hell, but he steels his voice, and brushes your lips together, he’s so close, when he talks. “I can’t think about anything else when I’m with you. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but—”
“Reo,” you take the initiative here, shifting closer, and settling your lips close to his neck. “It’s okay. I want you too.”
You take another inch forward and Reo allows it. Maybe you’re both getting more comfortable with each other. Maybe getting brave and feeling more grown up. Likely, it’s a combination of everything, and a good dose of ‘fuck it’s, from being young, and dumb, despite it all.
You’re not sure who leans in first but, before it even fully registers, his lips glide over yours. There’s some awkward teeth clacking involved, probably from the fact both of you are way too full of nerves over this, but Reo fixes it and begins to trace his tongue over the small opening of your lips. You move your hands straight to his locks, still damp from the earlier shower he took and the scent of lemongrass and citrus invades your nostrils.
Reo's kissing you as if he wants to swallow you whole. It's hungry, desperate, and intimate in a way that made your heart swell triple in size. The sounds of your beating chest floods your ears as he's pouring his emotions into the kiss, making sure that he's leaving behind evidence that his soul is yours to claim. The heat radiating off his body pulls you in, like an invitation, and you sink further into his touch.
After a moment, you pull back, hands still entangled in his hair.
“Your parents, aren’t you worried about—”
“I don’t pay mind to that type of stuff,” he presses a firm kiss on your forehead. “And you shouldn't have to either. That’s a future thing to worry about.”
That sounds good, you agree, but you’re growing too sleepy to voice it. Instead, you shut your eyes, reaching over blindly to find the edges of the blankets, tugging it up over you two. There’s really no way to move, without cramming at the edge of the mattress. You don’t care, and Reo doesn’t seem to, either.
“Hey, Reo?” You mumble as you both slip into silence.
“Yeah?” He’s tried, but awake enough to shake past the exhaustion, enough to form vague words. “What is it?”
You sit up, just a little, and it’s enough to inspire Reo to force his eyes open. You’re watching him, eyes intent, shining bright with emotion. It’s almost — just almost — enough to have Reo saying those three special little words. They’re right there, on the tip of his tongue, and only then he realizes that he’s terribly in love with you. He’s hopelessly in love. It’s way too early to say it, but he is.
You laugh, burying your face in Reo’s neck again, pressing a kiss there. “I’m glad that you’re here with me.”
Reo has hesitated a lot, during the past months. It’s taken him a while to get here. For once, though, awake or dreaming, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t hesitate. 
“I’m glad too,” he mumbles, and then, he’s dreaming, of endless what if’s and possibilities with you now in his life.
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© 2023 DOOBEA. do not copy any of my writing and translate/repost.
additional note: idk why it took me over a month to pump this out LMAO but i hope you guys like the ending bc i was mulling over this chapter so many times before deciding to end it as such... anyways, I WILL BE BACK INTO MY BLLK FIC GROOVE HEHE gotta focus on my milestone fics + that ice skating rin series next :3 i love you guys and thanks again for being patient with me ;3
TAGLIST -CLOSED
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the-fiction-witch · 6 months
Text
Feelings
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Media The Queens Gambit
Character Benny Watts
Couple Benny X Reader
Rating Sweet + SMut
Requested:
Hey fiction witch, if u can see this I have a request, in the show Beth leaves New York and goes back to her house and when Beth and Benny r on the phone Benny gets upset and tells Beth to not call him, after that happens can u plz make y/n find out that Beth hurt Benny and y/n being her sweet and empathetic self, goes to comfort Benny in his house and yk wtv happens next 🤭 if u can make that story asap that would be amazing thank u 🙏
I shifted my hips from side to side humming along with the tune coming from my record player speaker, My hands in the hot water washing up the dishes and pots from dinner. I jumped as I heard my phone begin its blaring. So I left the last pot to soak trying off my hands on my apron as I scampered my shoes across the floor of my little townhouse I quickly turned down the volume on my record player as I passed the shelf, I lost my footing a little on the rug's stupid curled corner and went tumbling onto my sofa on my back, luckily just beside my phone table so I picked up the red rotary phone from the table bringing it to my ear. 
"Y/l/n Residence." I smiled 
"Hi y/n" Beth smiled 
"Ohh, My my to what do I owe the pleasure, Miss Harmon?" 
"Oh you know, nothing unusual. How's queens?" 
"Boring. But finally unpacked my last few boxes so shaping up nicely. How's kentuky?" 
"Much the same" she smiled "So, I had a question."
"ahh there is the point of your call, of course, ask away"
"You've been to Moscow correct?" 
"Yes, I have. I assume there is a follow-up question."
"Yeah, I'm doing a bit of packing. I know everyone says Moscow is cold but... exactly how cold?"
 "When they say cold they mean cold beth. It's freezing in Moscow. The snow came up to my knees. I was so cold I ripped stuffing out of the hotel pillow to shove in my bra because I was convinced my nipples would freeze off. and that's coming from a New York girl" I laughed "Pack for ice. Pack for snow. Pack for seeing your breath inside buildings." 
"Really?"
"If you're too hot you can always take layers off," I explained 
"Fair enough,"
"That all?"
"I had something else to ask too"
"Sure, fire away." 
"Did you... Like to fuck Benny?"
"That's a bold question for six pm" 
"But did you, when you two were... together?"
I laughed "My darling Elizabeth. Me and Benny never have been... together. Not officially anyway."
"But when you did. Did you like to?"
"Sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"You can say every time you've had sex you liked it? sometimes stuff's just shit"
"But other than those times"
"I did. Course I did. Benny... is a complicated man"
"How so?"
"Because he's Benny" I laugh "He's weird, he thinks fifteen steps ahead at any one moment, he's passionate and dedicated with an ego big enough to fly himself to Moscow and back, but he's also... you know a man. so he's blunt and simple, and can't see a hint five inches in front of his face." I explained, "Why?" 
"I think. it might be over."
"Over? Did it ever begin?"
"I mean... kinda. sort of. It's complicated."
"Beth. What happened?"
"So you know how Benny's been bugging me to come to New York"
"Yes. Because he misses you. That's his way of saying that." 
"Yeah he even told me"
"He told you he missed you?"
"Yes"
"And you did what?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing!"
"Yeah I mean we called a little more but not much else. and I kinda... pissed him off"
"What did you do?"
"I gave the church the money back. I tried to ask him for money. if he wants to come he can help me pay for it right? he flipped out and told me not to call him again. That was... two days ago and he won't answer the phone. Guess I'm just kinda..."
"You're serious?" I sighed 
"Yeah."
"Okay... I have not got time to deal with you" I sighed sitting up normally "All I'm gonna say is you've fucked up Beth. And I am going to clean this up, not because I want to help you. But because I care too much about Benny. I will call you later and we will have a chat" I told her before hanging up the phone 
"Fuck..." I sighed "Harmon, you do make my life difficult" I grabbed the phone again and dialled the number for the Brooklyn basement listening to it ring but no answer, I tried again but still no answer, I gave it one more try but still no answer. 
I gave up setting the phone back on the receiver and I got to my feet untieing my apron throwing it on the kitchen table grabbing my handbag making sure to grab my spare key. changing my shoes and slipping on my gloves before rushing out locking up my front door as I scampered down the steps of the stoop I unlocked the door on my little red mini threw my bag on the passenger seat quickly started the car up and scampered through the New York streets using all the little cut thoughts I knew to travel the six miles from my townhouse in queens to the basement in Brooklyn. I pulled my mini up behind the little blue Beatle parked and grabbed my bag climbing out of the car and heading down the little foul-smelling stairwells until I finally reached the metal door giving it a firm few taps. No answer came. but I could hear noises from within. I knocked much louder but still no answer came.
I rolled my eyes grabbed the spare key from my handbag forced it into the lock and opened the door shutting it behind me immediately I could tell things weren't good.
This apartment was dark, gloomy and damp as usual, bottles littered his table enough you could use them as pieces in a chess game, and things haphazardly moved around the apartment. And Benny amongst it all. Barefoot. Black jeans tight to his body, his belt gone, his black turtleneck on with his sleeves rolled up, frustration across his face, a beer in hand that he finished and there across his apartment smashing it on the wall. 
“Benny?” 
He ran a hand through his hair and glanced up at me “Hey y/n.”
“How are you feeling?” 
“I'm fine” he snapped grabbing a cigarette from his table setting it in his mouth and lighting it up with his old Zippo 
“Benny.” I glared
“I'm fine.” He snapped 
“Beth called me.”
“Did she now? You come down to tell me I'm an asshole”
“I don't make judgements till I hear both sides” I answered “So, tell me what happened.”
“So it fucking -”
“Calmly.” 
“It's over. I'm done with her. I have put up with so much shit from her. She treats me like a doormat, and only calls me when she needs something. Well she can go fuck herself” he says pacing around his apartment
“Okay, what exactly happened?”
“She gave the money back. Asked me to pay for us. She ignored everything I told her. All because she didn't want to sign some worthless bit of paper. Now I can't go to Moscow with her. Fine, she clearly didn't want me with her anyway.”
“Alright, and you told her?”
“I told her not to call me again. She wants to do this on her own fine. She can. She won't hear a word from me, but she can fuck off if she wants anything.” 
“You've been ignoring calls?”
“I didn't exactly feel like talking right now” 
“Alright, go get changed and I'll make you some tea”
“I don't -”
“Benny. Don't make me bonk you with a spoon” 
“Fine I will get changed” he sighed going to his room “and make coffee.”
“No tea. Coffee will keep you up and you do not need more energy right now” I explained going and making some nice tea one for me and one for Benny taking and sitting them both on the small table in the centre of the living space, as well as a glass of water I took a small dustpan and brush from the cabinet and cleaned up the broken glass from the bottle as well as any other little mess that littered the apartment. I went to the small record player beside the chair and for a moment flipped through his small collection grabbing a nice album of some gentle swing music adding it to the player letting it spin and turning it down to almost nothing, and I took a seat on the pile of pillows he used as a sofa. Soon enough he returned with a fresh set of clothes, some new jeans, a black T-shirt and his green button-down 
“There you feel a little better now?”
“It is nice to have some fresh clothes on” he grunted back 
“Come on” I offered patting the pillow beside me
“I'm not in the mood y/n”
“Benny. Come here.”
He rolled his eyes but came and sat beside me still as angry and frustrated as before leaning his head against the exposed bricks 
“Good, now when did you last drink something?”
“I'm not thirsty”
“Did I ask that?”
“No”
“When did you last drink something? You're only going to give yourself a headache” I told him, offering him the water but he turned away “Hydrate. Or I will hit you with a spoon”
He took the glass and had a sizable sip 
“Thank you, now come here and talk it out” 
“Y/n I know you mean well but I’m-”
“I will get the spoon in a minute.” I warn “Come” I demanded patting my thigh
He rolled his eyes but leant over so I wrapped my arms around him letting him lay his head in my lap “I don't see how this is going to help”
“You need to acknowledge and work through your feelings”
“I don't have feelings. I'm a man.”
“Ohh no you don't have feelings. That's why you've been spending your days in a dark basement drinking like a fish and frustrated smoking. No feelings at all” I smiled gently petting his soft fluffy hair 
“I don't need to work through my feelings.”
“Yes, you do. Otherwise, you're just going to be angry forever. And god knows I can't deal with that” I laughed
“Fine” he sighed 
“Take a moment just to clear the brain” I smiled playing with his hair in all the usual spots he liked me too
“My brain doesn’t clear.”
“Then hyperfocus. On the ticking of the clock, the nice gentle music, clear the mind of all other things and just exist for a moment”
We sat for a few moments just enjoying the quiet of his basement, the gentle hum of the music and the rhythm of our breaths
“Okay” He nods sounding far calmer than before
“That help?”
“A little”
“Okay do a Big breath in.”
“Why do I-”
“Benny” I warned so he did as I asked “Big breath in. And back out. Another one in… and another out. Okay? Feel a little better?” I smiled walking him through it a few times
“A bit” 
“Are you calmer?”
“Somewhat”
“So, tell me what happened”
“You going to tell me when I’m wrong?”
“No. I'm not going to say anything you just explain and I will listen.” 
“I try asking her for months to come up to New York, actually spend some time together, no she's busy she needs to do this, she needs to do that, she ghosts me for six months, okay I try asking to go to Paris with her support her with the tournament, no she's going on her own, she can't afford to take me too, so fine she goes on her own only when she's fucked herself up so bad she looses her tournament and has headlines everywhere she was drunk as a sailor then! I got a call. I try to be supportive and offer to pick her up from the airport. No, she wants to be alone. I try to talk her through everything and offer her a safe space, so we can be together and work stuff out, no she wants to be alone. She wants to drink. Fine, I try! I try and say she can drink so long as she came here no she wants to go and get drunk. She goes home to Kentucky and ghosts me again. She calls me finally because she wants my advice and again I try to get her to come here, I try and be nice hell I told her I fucking missed her nope she wants to stay on her own meaning she wants to fucking drink. And again I'm ghosted. She completely ignores what I tell her to do. She gives the church their money and calls me up like I'm the problem! Like I haven't spent the last year waiting for your phone calls like some abandoned puppy! Says she's paying her own way to Moscow and can't afford to take me with her, if I wanna come I need to pay, when she knows full well I don't have two thousand dollars laying around to jet off to Moscow. Accused me of gambling it all away. So fuck it. Fuck her. She wants to go and her drunk and fuck her life up that's her decision she's not taking me down with her. I'm not staying as her fucking doormat fuck to treat her how she wants. If she'd rather get drunk than be with me fine I hope she and her bottle are happy” 
“How did that make you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“Benny, feelings are not shit. use your words. Not just your swears.”
“Like… why should I bother you know? Like I'm trying so so much and you're giving absolutely nothing back. And that makes me feel like I'm the asshole for wanting anything”
“You're not an asshole for wanting acknowledgement Benny. You've done a lot for Beth and it's not easy for you to be emotionally numerable”
“Exactly! It's like you bare your fucking soul to someone and their response is okay cool. What else? Like I don't know what more you want from me. Am I being a dick? Asking for too much or something?”
“I don't think so, I do think you also need to respect Beth is also not an emotional person. The two of you aren't going to have a great emotional conversation because neither of you are good emotional communicators and that's fine some people aren't, but it would seem you are putting a lot of effort in, now Beth may not see it as a lot of effort in her mind and may not be seeing how much effort that Is for you and not appreciate it as much or it could be that she just expects more. and if you can't give her that then you can't there's nothing wrong with that Benny” 
“Do you think I'm an emotionally distant person?”
“You can be. You're… very practical Benny. You're emotional to the extent of practically, when emotions aren't useful you don't bother to express them. But I do think you not in the wrong here you've made a lot of moves to be more outwardly expressive and it was clear you were upset long before this” I explained “I think, and of course, you don't need to take my advice. But I think you and Beth need time apart I think you both need to not see one another, not speak to one another, for a couple of weeks I think you both need to separately decide the kind of relationship you want together. If you want to have the kind of relationship where you call every other day and talk or if you want a relationship where you talk every six months how much emotional investment you each have needs to be equal and it clearly isn't so I think spend time apart to think and when she gets back from Moscow you two need to talk and see where you go from here.”
“... Your right.” He sighed sitting up “Where did you learn all this stuff anyway?” He asks having some tea 
“Therapy. You know that thing I keep telling you to go to”
“I don't need therapy”
“Everyone needs therapy, Benny.”
“I don’t” 
“Yes, you do.” I told him “You have a lot of untapped emotional issues rattling around in that big head of yours” I told him having some tea “And I’m boarder line convinced you have… some type of-”
“No I don’t” he snapped
“Benny you hyperfocus on chess, don’t understand your own emotions, freak out when someone tries to touch your skin, and use your rings like fidget toys… and you don’t think there might be a possibility you could have some form of -”
“No.” 
“Fine, fine. I’m not going to argue with you” I giggled “You should go to therapy though Benny.”
“Ohh what because I have ‘emotional trauma’?”
“Yes. you do.” I told him “Even if it's just having someone to talk to, to rant about your problems”
“That's why I have you” 
“I'm not your therapist Benny”
“Sorry”
“It's fine” I smiled pressing a kiss to the top of his head “You really liked her didn't you?”
“I did. I kinda thought we were the same. Maybe we're too much alike”
“Do you think maybe… you're seeing the bad things in Beth that you see in yourself?”
“Kinda. I think it's … made me realize how bad it is to be on that side of it. To be the one waiting by the phone on the promise of a call that never comes. I think I'm .. trying though. I can see how bad it is and in trying to fix it but just feels like bailing a bucket out a lake” 
“Well, baby steps. Just the fact you see it and are making steps is still better. You're never going to bail the lake if you don't start with a bucket”
“I guess so. It makes me wonder… how she sees me. I know officially we didn't label anything but, I kinda think she just saw me as a chessboard that could make her cum” 
“What did you want her to be?”
“....I don't know. Guess I wanted someone to call. Someone to spend time with. Someone who wants to talk to me. Listens to me. Makes me feel like what I say makes a difference. Like I Matter to them. Someone who gets excited about spending time with me, who wants to be with me not because we might play chess or we might have sex but just because we like being together”
“You ever tell her that?”
“No.”
“Then … you can't expect her to give you that Benny. She's not a mind reader. She doesn't know that's what you want same as you don't know what she wants. You two are both people not great at emotions be the best course is to straight forward sit her down and say that's what you want and if that's not what she wants you can either try to find a middle ground or that can be it”
“Your right. But I don't want to see her. Or talk to her. I don't completely want to think about her but there's no getting out of that” he explained lighting another cigarette “But I'm done. Unless she's willing to try I don't want anything more than to be her friend”
“If that's what you want. That's what you want” I smiled taking the cigarette from him putting it out in the table’s ashtray “You’re not smoking because you want it you smoking because your frustrated.” I laughed
“Your therapist tell you that too?”
“No. I just know you, Benny. Besides you’ve been doing really good. Don’t destroy all your progress just because you’re mad” I told him 
“You rather I drink?”
“I’d rather you have healthy coping mechanisms but you know… baby steps.” I smiled “You feel a bit better? Got all that off your chest?”
“Yeah. Thanks y/n.”
“Your welcome” I smirked having some tea “It's kinda funny”
“What is?”
“That's exactly what I wanted. Back when we …”
“Really?” He asks 
“Yeah. I'd have killed for you to want to spend time with me without it seeming like I was dragging you away from something you wanted to do more”
“.... Fuck. I was a dick.”
“You kinda were.” I laughed “But we wanted different things that's okay”
“I feel like shit. Maybe things would be different if I figured out this is what I wanted”
“Maybe” I shrug “But you didn’t want that then that’s fine you can change your mind as life changes, that wasn’t the sort of thing you wanted then”
“You’re a very emotional person. I think I struggled with that”
“I can be… overly emotional. In working on it. Trying not to overthink everything so much.” I said “How do you think it felt for me sitting here miles deep in overthinking as to why you weren’t talking to me, that you were mad, that I did something wrong, all the while you just sat there playing chess completely unaware I was even upset being quiet because… you like to sit quietly.”
“I saw you were upset… when it was too late. By the time I picked up on it you crying so far down an emotional rabbit hole even if I did know How to deal with it, it was kinda too late”
“And yes that is on you for not noticing my emotions but also on me for not being clearer with them, literally could have fixed all my overthinking with, Benny are you mad at me? But no I wanted to sit there pouting getting more and more anxious waiting for you to figure out that I was worried.” 
“I always felt like a dick for asking you what was wrong,”
“Because I wanted you to pick up on it. I didn’t want to tell you I just wanted you to pick up and fix it. And that's on me. That was my issue and I’m getting better. Can’t expect people to know everything. But you're getting better too, learning when people are upset being more outwardly emotional if you need a little coaxing.”
“Or threatening” 
“Everyone is different Benny. The sooner you realize that the easier life is. Everyone you speak to, and everyone you see is completely different we all think differently, behave differently, and have different responses to things, and no one can read minds. We all need to give each other a little more slack because we don't know what's going on in their head and they'll never know what's happening in ours. Some people can read emotions across your face like a book, some people need to be told or they'll never learn. I was an emotionally overthinking young woman craving emotional intimacy without having to ask for it. While being in a non-official relationship with a man who can't read emotions, has a hard time expressing his feelings and craves reassurance. On top of the very basic one, what's to fuck one wants to love problem. You surprised it went south?” 
“I crave reassurance?”
“Benny. You're a chess player who dresses like a goth pirate.”
“Point taken” 
“It's fine people grow and change neither of us are the people we were then”
“That's true” he nods “Can I get the number for your therapist?”
“Why?”
“He sounds good. The fact you rattled all that off is pretty impressive”
“Find your own therapist. Don't want conflicts of interest”
For a moment he was puzzled “You talk about me in therapy?”
“Yeah”
“God was I that much of a cunt?”
“No. You’re my friend. Our lives are very intertwined is all” I laughed leaning on his shoulder 
“that’s fair” he laughed “... Do you think I ask for too much? With Beth?”
“I think… you ask for more than she's comfortable with. Let's face it Benny your fighting against an addiction. You might have an ego and you might love chess but you're not physically addicted to it” 
“I just feel like in trying so hard, pushing myself so far beyond what I'd normally be comfortable with the least she can do is try”
“if that's how you feel. Then I think she should respond to that”
“I'm not a dick?”
“I don't think so” I smiled
“Thanks y/n. I'm really thankful you came over”
“Well I can't just leave you someone has to try and get you through these gross… feelings you're not used to”
“Can you stay?”
“What?”
“Can you stay? I don't think I wanna be on my own tonight”
“Of course Benny”
We stayed up a little long chatting about things but soon it came time for bed he put up the air bed for himself and I took his bed even if I argued but he let me have it. 
I changed borrowing one of his shirts for the night getting cosy in the warm bed. 
The lights out the only sound the occasional sound of the New York cars above the basement. 
I was about to drift off when I perked up hearing the creek of the door and soon enough the covers moved and Benny crawled in with me 
“Hi”
“Hi”
“Did you want your own bed back?”
“No, I just… I don't wanna be alone right now” he says slowly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight to his body my hips to his my back to his chest squeezing me almost like I was his teddy bear 
“Okay Benny, you don't need to worry I'll be right here,” I reassured letting him squeeze me tightly to his body, he held me tight pressing his lips to my shoulder 
“Can I get my anger out?” He asked 
“Alright” I nodded 
He moved and pushed me down on my back “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I nodded 
He nodded and leant down to nibble and kiss my neck, before he pulled down his boxers and tugged off my panties, he started off gently slipping himself inside me he held my hips firmly digging his nails into my skin as he aggressively thrusted, often bitting his lips and gritting his teeth letting out his frustration and anger though the movement of his hips. He began to slow so I smiled and held his hips gently turning us so he laid on his back and I sat on top of him gently moving my hips slowly “Reveling in your anger is not going to make you feel better” I smiled stroking his stomach as I moved 
“I know. I just wanted to get the anger out” he sighed moving his hips with me 
“Wouldn’t this be nicer?”
“It is much nicer.” he smiled “Nice and calming” He cooed sitting up a little and wrapping his arms around me to pull me into his chest for an intense kiss I smiled into the kiss as I moved my hips faster trying to match his own speed getting more and more intense the longer it went on I knew I was close starting to nibble on his neck as I began to slow getting close to my edge he noticed and smirked making sure to work as hard as he could letting out the last of his frustration until I reached my peak biting his neck as I did which in turn got him to his own edge burying himself deep inside me and riding it out before he collapsed against the bed and I basically fell off onto the other side 
“Feel better now Benny?”
“Yeah” he nods between gasps “That is way better than therapy” 
“They're not mutually exclusive Benny.”
“I still think this is better”
“You can’t just ignore your feelings and deal with your frustrations through sex” I told him
He smirked and turned over to spoon me “Did it work?” 
“...yes but?”
“Did it work?”
“Yes.”
“Then I'm gonna do it” he shrugs 
“Alright Benny, if that’s how you wanna deal with your feelings” I laughed “Come on, let's get some sleep”
“Alright, Night”
“Night” I smiled giving him a little kiss before we cuddled up and drifted off to sleep. 
I yawned as I woke up I gently pushed Benny’s arms off me climbed out the bed and headed across the apartment, I went to the kitchen and began to make coffee humming to myself a little. 
“Morning,” Benny spoke up from the bedroom door
“Morning, How are you feeling today?”
“Better. Much better” he smiled coming and wrapping his arms around me giving my neck some kisses “You always make me feel better”
“I do?”
“You do. I’m sorry”
“For what?”
“For being a dick, when we…” he began “I realize it and I’m sorry”
“That's very sweet. Apology accepted. I’m sorry for how I was too”
“Apology accepted” he smiled 
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the shit from Beth”
“It’s fine. I know how to deal with it”
“Oh?”
“She can find another doormat. She wants to drink and wants to go on her own she can. I don’t want that. We can be friends if she wants but nothing more than that. I don’t feel like I want anything more”
“Okay. I’m proud of you, for expressing your feelings” I smiled
“Did you wanna stay for a while? Spend some time together?”
“Is that also part of you dealing with this?” I giggled turning to face him
“Kinda. But Now I know what you wanted. And I want that too. Maybe now we're a little older we’ll be better, more communicative, better with our feelings. So? Did you wanna try again?”
“On one condition.”
“Oh?”
“Go to therapy, Benny.” 
“Do I have to?”
“Yes.”
“How much therapy?”
“How about one session, one date.”
“Three dates one session”
“Two.” “Deal” he smiled pulling me into a sweet kiss “Will you help me find one?”
“Yes, I will.” I giggled “Come on we’ll have coffee and a cuddle”
“Sounds perfect” 
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waywardxwords · 8 months
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Summary: Ten months ago, Sam threw himself and Lucifer into the cage. While Dean went off to live happily with Lisa and Ben, you couldn’t bring yourself to live a “normal” life. While on a hunt, your trail leads to Lansing, Michigan where you get your hopes up when you stumble upon the Sam Winchester in a dive bar. Instead, bumping into the man you had fallen for years before leaves you feeling empty. Pairing: Soulless!Sam x Female Reader Word Count: ~4.1k Warnings: IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, PLEASE STOP READING. THIS IS RATED M FOR MATURE. Soulless!Sam, swearing, smut (p in v, unprotected), slightly angsty, sadness, feeling used…Sam is kind of a douchebag in this (hello, he has no soul) - I would also like to preface that I'm still new at this whole ~writing smut~ thing, so please be kind but I am 10000% open to critique/feedback!
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A cloud of cigarette smoke pooled above the bar as your boots clicked upon the hardwood of a little dive bar in Lansing, Michigan. It had been ten months since everything changed–Sam in the pit as Lucifer’s vessel, and Dean off living the life he had always deserved with Lisa and Ben. You were happy for him, truly. But that life wasn’t your life. Once you knew about all that went bump in the night, there was no going back. Thankfully, you had found Alice McCaffrey. Bobby had introduced you when you told him you wanted to get back out there. “You don’t hunt alone,” he had warned you. Alice was a little older than you, but you seemed to gel well. It wasn’t like hunting with the Winchesters, but it was still fine. 
The two of you found a small, round table towards the back of the bar where there were billiard tables and took your place on the stools.
“I just don’t get it,” Alice gnawed a little at her bottom lip. “We tracked that trail all the way here…there’s no way it just goes cold.” There was plenty of evidence floating around that the Shapeshifter was here, in Lansing. And when you said ‘the’, you meant the one and only: first of its kind, Daddy Shapeshifter; the one who created all shapeshifters. 
“I mean, this thing has been alive for how many years?” You toyed with a round paperboard coaster in your hands. “He could just be that good. He’s used to evading hunters for centuries.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she grumbled, but you knew she wasn’t going to let it go. That was fine by you, but in the meantime…
“I’m gonna grab a beer, you want anything?” You asked her as you thumbed to the bar.
“Yeah, one for me, too. But none of that light shit…see if they have a Guinness or something,” she pulled out her laptop and her leatherbound journal. 
Just as you turned to walk towards the bar, you caught sight of him. Him. The him you had mourned (and were still mourning, if you were honest with yourself). Your breath caught in your throat as his tall, broad frame stood over a billiard table. The bright light above the table accented each of his features–nothing had changed, really, besides his hair maybe being a tiny bit longer and it looked like he had been working out again. His eyes grazed over the green baize fabric on the table to check his next move. 
You didn’t want to make a scene, but this wasn’t possible…there was no way in Hell this man could be standing in front of you. You quickly pulled your cell phone from your pocket and dialed the familiar number. You refused to pull your eyes away as you watched for any sudden movements.
“Bobby?” You asked when he answered after just the third ring. “You got any idea why I’m standing in a bar in Michigan looking at Sam Winchester right now?”
As if on cue, Sam seemed to feel your gaze as he pulled his eyes up from the table and found yours. 
“Balls,” Bobby grumbled as you listened to his drawl through the receiver of the phone. “Listen, it’s Sam…but I didn’t say anything ‘cause I didn’t want ya to get hurt…” you weren’t sure what that meant. Sam had already started his pace over to you. There was a smile upon his lips, but it seemed different. “Something’s different about him. He ain’t been the same since he got pulled out of Lucifer’s cage. You hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear ya, Bobby,” your words were soft. “I’ll, uh, I’ll call you later.” You hung up quickly just as he approached.
Your name fell from his lips, almost inquisitively. That same old Sam Winchester half-smile tugged at the corner of his lips. 
“Sam,” you breathed in return. It was difficult to keep Bobby’s warning in the back of your mind when the man you had hunted with for so long was standing just in front of you. While hunting with the brothers, you had never allowed your feelings to see the light of day. They were professional, and they had taught you so much about what looms in the dark. But you would be a liar if you said you had never felt butterflies when Sam smiled at you, laughed at your joke, or the way it felt when his fingers grazed your skin…
“Hey, wow, it’s been such a long time,” something did feel a bit off with his words, but even more so with his demeanor. You had mapped out those hazel eyes over the two years you spent hunting with the boys, and there was a lightness missing. They just felt empty. 
“Sam, how are you here? I saw you fall into the cage myself,” the thought alone made your eyes burn. Watching Sam and the strength he had to throw himself (and Lucifer) into the cage was devastating. 
“Yeah, uh, I don’t really know?” He chuckled softly. You searched for the light, but still couldn’t find it—even behind his laughter. “I just sorta woke up and I was back…”
“God, it’s so incredible to see you,” you couldn’t stop staring at him, afraid if you blinked, he’d disappear. “Is Dean here? Are you guys trying to figure out what brought you back?”
Sam broke his gaze from yours, but only for a second. He slipped his hands into his front jean pockets. “No, uh, I didn’t want to pull Dean back in. It’s rare to get an opportunity to get outta this life. He seems happy,” he nodded. You couldn’t help but notice the lack of emotion in his tone or on his face. “I, uh, I actually found some of my mom’s family. They have a compound here in Lansing, so I’ve been hunting with them.”
You tried to hide the way his words stung. He was so stoic, you didn’t want to look like a fool. But you were hurt…he had to have known you were still hunting. It made you doubt yourself—there were probably better people to hunt with and he had found them. You had always wondered if you were just a tagalong for the Winchesters; maybe they had just felt bad for you, after all. 
“Oh, nice,” you forced a smile and a small nod. “That’s good. Hunting with family is good…” your words trailed. 
Sam matched your nod. As if he realized he should be asking you about yourself, he continued with, “What about you? Are you hunting still?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” you turned back to your hunting buddy as she watched cautiously from your table. “This is Alice McCaffrey,” you introduced as you stepped back to the table and Sam followed. “Alice, this is Sam Winchester. Alice and I have been hunting together."
Alice’s eyes widened. “The Sam Winchester?” She asked, incredulously. 
“The one and only,” he chuckled as he shook her hand.
“Wow,” Alice’s eyes drifted to you—you knew immediately what she was thinking: shifter? Demon? Shifter-demon?
“It’s really him,” you confirmed. While you hadn’t tested him yourself, you trusted Bobby. Bobby seemed very certain. He just also made it explicitly clear that Sam was different. 
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” she smiled. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I just…I thought you were in the pit…”
“Yeah,” Sam tucked some strands of brown hair that had fallen forward back behind his ear. “I was, but somehow got a way out. We’re still trying to figure that out.” He explained. 
“That’s great,” she seemed a little hesitant, but that was why you loved Alice. Alice was wary of anyone and everyone; she didn’t trust at face value. There were still days you wondered if you had earned her full and complete trust. 
“What brings you to Lansing?” Sam shifted the topic, his eyes on you now. 
“We’ve been trailing a shifter,” you kept the topic brief. It felt weird not delving into all the details of your case, but you couldn’t quite shake the fact that Sam had been back and hadn’t tried to connect with you. 
“Oh, the original?” He looked between the two of you. Alice narrowed her eyes at Sam. 
“Yeah, are you hunting him too?” She questioned. 
He looked between the two of you, still emotionless. “Yeah, we got him. A few hours ago, my team had him killed.” 
“You…you managed to kill him?” Alice looked at him with the same level of shock as before. 
“Sam, he was the original shapeshifter. Like, father to all shifters,” you added in, wondering if maybe he didn’t realize.
“I know,” he looked between the two of you. “He was a beast. But we’re a team of six. We had it covered.”
Alicia glanced at you—you knew the look. She wasn’t sure of this Sam Winchester guy. 
“Hey,” Sam's fingertips grazed your hand. “Would you wanna get outta here? Some place we can sit and catch up. Somewhere quiet?” Between his fingertips on your flesh, and the way his voice had dropped lowly, you shuddered internally. 
Somehow, you still seemed hesitant. Had this been ten months ago, you would have leapt out of your chair and been halfway to the door by now. But it wasn’t. And this version of Sam just felt different. You pushed past the hesitation. “Yeah, okay,” you nodded. 
“Let me just go let the guys know I’ll be back in a while,” he thumbed back to the billiard tables where you finally noticed an older man, bald and eyes that you felt like could see through your soul. You managed a quick nod before he headed back that way. 
“Can I say something and you promise it won’t piss you off?” Alicia asked as soon as Sam was out of earshot. 
You were fairly certain you knew what she had to say, but you pulled your eyes from Sam’s back and looked back at her. “Of course.”
“I listened to you go on and on about this Sam Winchester guy. Even when you didn’t realize you were talking about him. You talk about him in your sleep,” she emphasized. Warmth crept up your neck and into your cheeks. You hadn’t realized you were sleep-talking about him… “But the Sam Winchester you’ve been mourning for almost a year? Girl, that’s not him.” Her eyes bore into you. 
“I know he seems a little…rough around the edges,” you tried to reason as your eyes found him talking to the bald man in the corner. The man had returned his gaze to you as Sam spoke. “But we have no idea what happened to him in that cage. That would change anyone, Alicia.” You looked back to your hunting buddy. 
“I get that, I do,” she agreed. “I’m just asking you to be careful. A lot can change in ten months. Especially when we’re talking about someone coming back from one of the darkest depths of Hell…if not, the darkest depth of Hell.”
“I’ve got it handled,” you watched him as he moved back towards your table. “I’ll meet you back at the motel later.” You managed a quick smile and hopped off of your bar stool. 
“Ready?” Sam asked as you approached. You nodded once, but couldn’t help the feeling of the bald man watching you. Sam began to lead you away from the table. 
“It was nice meeting you,” Alicia practically yelled over the sounds of the bar. Sam nodded once nonchalantly back at her. 
“Yeah, you too,” it was strange, but then Sam’s hand snaked around yours and held it in his palm, and any uncertainty you had in your gut went out the window. 
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When Sam suggested going some place quiet, you had assumed that would be a café or diner; somewhere public, but where you could get caught up. It surprised you when he pulled into a motel parking lot and had you wait in the car. He wasn’t staying here…why was he getting a room? You were smarter than this, but somehow Sam Winchester had always had a way of emitting a haze around you; a haze that more than clouded your judgment. 
“Why a motel room?” You finally managed to ask as you stood behind him while he unlocked the door. 
“I just figured it would be nice to get caught up…” you noticed his eyes trailed down the front of you. He was looking at you in a way he had never done so blatantly before; a way you had always imagined in your mind, but never experienced. Your throat ran dry as he opened the door and held it open for you to step through. Suddenly you felt nervous. 
“I really missed you, Sam,” you felt a lump of emotion knit together in your throat. Your eyes moved up his torso to find his hazel gaze. A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips. 
A surprise to you, his arms snaked around you and pulled you into his chest. “I missed you, too,” you couldn’t shake the feeling that Sam was saying it because he knew he was supposed to. 
“Sam…” you started cautiously. There were two parts of you, and they were at war: on one hand, you had wanted this moment to happen for so long–you had willed for Sam to come back. But the other part of you had so many questions that you felt needed answered before you could fully open up to him. “How long have you been back?”
“Just about ten months,” he answered with little-to-no hesitation. He seemed a little surprised when your eyes widened.
You moved away from him to sit on the edge of one of the double beds in the room. Your eyes found the multicolored carpet that lined the motel room floor. “You’ve been back almost the entire time we thought you had been gone, and you didn’t call?”
“It’s…complicated,” he breathed out as he moved to sit next to you on the bed. “Things aren’t like they were ten months ago,” he tried to explain. You kept your eyes on the carpet as he spoke. “Things are different now. The Campbells are different…” there was that word again: different. Your eyes didn’t budge until your name fell as a whisper from his lips. “I really did miss you.”
You watched as his eyes trailed over you once more. Across your face, down your neck…you felt the heat rising again. “I feel like I’ve had this dream a million times–you coming back. And now it’s real, and it just feels…”
“I know,” his words were soft again as his body shifted towards you.
Before your brain could argue with your heart again, you felt your hands pull at the collar of his plaid button-down shirt. His face moved closer until your lips crashed against each other in a hasty motion. His movements were quick, but thorough, as his hands traveled to your waist. He pulled at the hem of your cotton t-shirt until his fingers slipped underneath and grazed against the flesh of your hips, causing goosebumps to bubble on the surface of your skin. 
Your hands tangled in the locks of hair at the back of his neck just as his hands lifted you and pulled you onto his lap so your legs straddled his waist. His fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt again until you instinctively raised your arms and broke where your lips met as he tugged the garment over your head. His fingers tangled in your hair once more as he stood up with your legs secured around his waist and turned to lay you on the bed. Once your eyes fluttered to see him pulling his button-down off, your brain kicked back into gear.
“Sam,” you breathed. He was back hovered over you now, his fingertips tracing a line of goosebumps down your neck, then your clavicle, to the tops of your breasts. Your breath hitched in your throat once more. “Sam, should we…are we doing this?” You were still trying to wrap your head around the idea that this was happening.
He paused for a moment and looked back down at you; your eyes tried to find old Sam once more–even just a glimmer. But you were coming up empty, yet again. 
“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” his emphasis on the word ‘long’ made your heart and stomach flutter simultaneously. “I should have before. But I was stupid, and then I was saying ‘yes’ to Lucifer, and I never thought I’d see you again.”
Your brain wanted to remind him that he could have called you, hell, he could have shown up at your doorstep and you would have welcomed him back with open arms. But your heart decided against it as he leaned closer to your lips.
“I thought maybe you wanted this too,” he breathed as his lips gingerly touched against yours once more.
Words failed you, so instead you reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair once more. The way you moved your lips against his gave him your answer.
His fingers strategically moved behind you, expertly unclasping the black bra that constrained your breasts. With a quick flick of his fingers, you felt the material relax and the straps slipped off of your shoulder blades. Your eyes found his once more–the only thing you saw was want and lust. 
You relished in the feeling of his lips as they trailed from your lips to your neck, sucking on the skin just under your earlobe. You closed your eyes at the sensation; your heart allowed your fingers to move through his hair, down to the nape of his neck. He moved against you in a way that warmed you to your core. You hadn’t realized Sam had moved his fingers down to the metal button clasp on your jeans. His fingers very quickly and skillfully moved so the button popped through the denim material and loosened. As he worked, his lips trailed down to your breast and attached to your nipple. His tongue moved over the already hardened bud, massaging in a way that elicited a moan from the back of your throat.
The break of the suction of his lips from your skin evoked a pop that echoed to your ears. In one swift motion, he pulled your jeans from your hips, bringing your underwear with it. He took a moment to stand at the edge of the bed. You watched as the muscles in his fingers, hands and forearms flinched as he worked his belt and jeans from their own metal clasp. He pulled his jeans down along with his boxers until they were at his ankles and he could step out of them.
“So fucking sexy,” he breathed. Your breath hitched once more–that wasn’t something your imagination had come up with when you had thought of this moment. The burn from the pink glow you had felt on more than one occasion tonight crept back up your skin once more, but this time you couldn’t hide.
“Sam,” your breath hitched in your throat, yet again.
Sam moved back over you at that moment, no additional words exchanged. You felt his length harden just between your legs upon your thigh. Your eyes closed once more as he kissed you with a force you had never felt before–you couldn’t place it. It wasn’t passion, it was need. 
His hands moved yours just above your head so they were bent at your elbows. With one hand, he clasped them there. His other hand moved down the side of your face, down your breasts until they wrapped around his cock. You felt his knee move between your thighs to part them. His hand shifted until his fingers deftly found your center. Sam’s index finger slipped between your folds, finding out for certain just how excited you were for this moment.
“You’re already so wet for me, baby,” his breath tickled just below your earlobe as he whispered. He picked up the pace with his fingers as he rubbed your swelling nub with his thumb. He moved in small circles that made you begin to grind your hips with his motions. Without warning, he plunged a finger inside of you once, twice, three times before he added a second finger.
A gasp escaped your lips as you pressed your head back into the mattress even further, your mouth agape. “Jesus, Sam,” you couldn’t help the words as they toppled out between your lips. After a few more thrusts, he reached down to pump his hand between his legs again. Without his touch, your brain started working once more. “D-Do you have a condom?” You didn’t mean to stutter, but you were lucky to even get words strewn together that made any sense at this point.
“It’s alright, I’ll pull out,” he kissed just below your ear on your jawline. Goosebumps flooded the surface of your skin once more as his stubble trailed over you. Your brain didn't have a moment to respond.
As he lined himself up against your center, you opened your eyes to find his gaze. His eyes were dark–a dark you had never noticed before. The normal flecks of gold, green, and blue were suddenly a darker yellow, forest green and gray. It was beautiful–lustful, even–but you didn’t see any emotion. They were still just empty.
Your mouth fell agape as he pushed into you, releasing your hands above his head so he could reach down and pull your legs and hook your ankles around his back. Instinctively, you moved your hips against him, meeting him with each movement he made.
Sam ducked his head so his lips could connect with the sweet spot he had found just above your clavicle. You couldn’t be sure, but by the feeling you knew it would leave a mark; you didn’t care. You focused on the raw feeling of him inside you, the way he grunted with each thrust. You flattened your palms up his back, the feeling of his muscles under your hands adding to the pooling warmth in the pit of your belly.
Strategically, Sam reached between the two of you and pressed his thumb to your clit once more. The continuous motion of the small circles sent a shudder over you.
“Sam…” you warned. 
He nipped at the skin below your ear. “I know, baby. Let me get you there,” the words dropped from his lips in a whisper once more.
You moved your hips to the rhythm of his hand and his thrusts. The muscles in your abdomen tightened and trembled as he pushed you over the edge. The pace of his movements picked up as he removed his hand and gripped your hips again–he pumped in and out of you with such fervor, you thought you might break.
With a shallow grunt, he quickly pulled out as he found his release–and suddenly, you felt empty.
Sam removed himself from the bed quickly and retreated to the small bathroom to clean up. As he came back, he handed you a towel. While you never could have known what being with Sam would be like, exactly…this wasn’t what you had expected. 
“That was…” your voice trailed off as you tried to catch your breath. You rolled to your side and propped yourself up on your elbow as you watched him. Instinctively, you pulled the rustled sheet up just under your chin to cover yourself.
Sam’s eyes found you as he pulled up his boxers, and then his jeans. His chest heaved only slightly as he got dressed. “Yeah, that was nice,” a smile pulled on his lips. “I’m glad we bumped into each other again.” Your throat felt dry again. Words failed you; you didn’t know what to say to that. He pulled his shirt over his head and fixed some of the buttons. “I paid through the night, so you can crash here, if you want,” he gestured to the room.
“You’re…you’re leaving?” You tried to shove the emotions bubbling up so they went back down. It felt like you were underwater–Sam was different. There was no hiding it or trying to deny it anymore. 
He looked back at you quizzically, as if he couldn’t understand why you were asking him this, but then turned his attention back to his boots as he tied the laces. “Uh, yeah. We have a lot of work to wrap up, and you’re just passing through,” his words trailed off a little, but it didn’t seem to be because he felt bad. “It really was good seeing you again.”
He managed one more small smile before he grabbed his remaining belongings and walked for the door.
The emotions finally bubbled over, but all you felt was empty.
A/N: Please, please don’t hate me. If you love Soulless!Sam with zero feeling and emotion, then this might be your jam. If you prefer loving, kind, caring Sam–you’re probably wanting my head on a platter. This is part one, I have a part two in the works and I promise I’ll fix everything <3
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juleswrites223 · 2 months
Text
Two of hearts
Season 1: Episode 2
Context: Fernando comes back from his daily routine of killing zombies near the safehouse and you suspect he's not saying the whole truth. You get closer to Carlos as something more then friends while poor Charles becomes a third wheel.
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"Okay first off, shooting a handgun with precision requires three things: balance, technique, and practice." Carlos says holding a revolver in his right hand.
You are playing with Jośe, Fernando's dog, in the backyard where Carlos is teaching Charles how to shoot a gun, a handgun to be precise. Charles, eyes full of determination, listens to words spilling out of Carlos' mouth with full concentration.
Fernando has a routine. In every two days he goes out on his motorcycle, he scans the area around safehouse and kills whatever zombie is within 2 km of the safehouse. Every day, he goes up to the terrace of the house, a huge telescope is placed so Fernando can see anyone, living or dead, in the surrounding area. He is usually up there half the time, only coming down to either eat or let some steam off which means attacking the practice dummy, he says its for practice.
After a while, Fernando comes back covered in blood, this time more than usual which concerns you a lot. Charles' training session with Carlos comes to an end as Fernando approaches.
"More zombies than usual?" You ask carefully looking for any bite marks on him or any sign that a zombie got to him, but you're not that worried because you know Fernando is too much of a pro.
"Sí, parece que se están aburriendo de la ciudad. (yeah, feels like they are getting bored of the city)." Fernando grunts as he takes off his leather jacket and puts his rifle aside.
"¿Deberíamos preocuparnos? (Should we be worried?)" Carlos says as he walks closer to where you and Fernando are standing. Fernando mutters "no" and walks inside the house, on his way to shower.
Charles also comes closer where you and Carlos are standing alone, trying to discern what you both are looking at. You and Carlos are still staring at the road afar, both of you share a look that means, Fernando is not saying the full truth.
"I am gonna work on dinner now. Get inside, the sun is setting." Carlos says finally breaking the trance.
"Charles, come with me. We need to shut off all the windows and draws the curtains." You sighed as you all walked towards the house.
“So are you worried?” Charles asks you tentatively.
“A bit. I fear Fernando is not telling us the whole truth.” You reply.
As dinner time finishes with very little talk, you all head back to your assigned rooms. Night approaches rapidly and you are tossing and turning, unable to sleep. You decide to head to the living room, there is a television set there, last you checked it has a few dvds on the cabinet next to it.
As you’re watching some 50s show with the volume kept as low as possible, a hand comes to grip your shoulder.
You shriek as you turn around and notice it’s Carlos.
“God you scared me, what are you doing up?” You exhale a sigh as Carlos comes to sit beside you.
“I should be asking that to you no?” He whispers.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah”
As you both sit there, you turn and ask him,
“Do you ever think that you’d be better off dead?”
“Sometimes… but I realise my family may be alive so I have to keep hope and keeping living I guess.” He replies. “Plus who would keep you alive if I die huh?” He adds as he lightly bonks your head.
“Hey!” You say offendedly as he only shrugs, his lips breaking out in a soft smile.
“Sometimes, I wish I’d have killed myself ages ago, before this nightmare took place.” You say grimly. Carlos raises his eyes at your words. As long as he’s known you, you’ve always kept a positive, happy go to attitude so hearing this definitely shocks and upsets him at the same time.
“Don’t say that.” He brings you in for a hug and kisses your forehead. “I’m here, and I promise to protect you.”
The next morning came and you arose to find yourself in Carlos' arms, in his bed. As you went to get up, his arms wrapped around your waist pull you back toward his chest.
"I don't get a good morning?" Carlos whispers, his voice raspy.
"Good morning, mind telling me how I ended up in your room?" You ask sweetly.
"You fell asleep and I got you here. Simple as that." He shrugs.
You hesitate a moment before asking him a question that has been lingering in your mind since yesterday.
"Do you think Fernando is hiding something from us?" You ask as he sits up straighter and raises an eyebrow. "Ever since he came back yesterday, I feel it in my gut that he's not telling us the whole truth."
He thinks a bit, you can see the gears in his head turning then he responds, "Look, if Fernando isn't telling us something, it's either to protect us or he thinks it's not important." But his response doesn't seem convincing, not to you and it looks like he himself doesn't believe his words.
"You don't get it, I have a bad feeling about what he said. It's like he didn't exactly lie, he told the half truth which worries me." You reply.
Before Carlos can reply, the door opens followed by Charles who was focusing on the remote in his hands, "Hey do you know how to-" He looks up and sees you and Carlos in his bed, "Uh I didn't realise you both were together." Charles yelps quickly as averts his gaze from you guys.
"It's okay Charles, here I'll help you with the television." You get up yet you're looking at Carlos, your eyes say, this conversation isn't over.
As you fix the TV up for Charles, you realise you haven't see Fernando all morning, you go to check his room but you don't find him there, Hm must've gone hunting, you think to yourself. You know you need to confront him, sooner rather than later. You just hope that Fernando tells you the full truth this time.
Taglist: @thefuckwasmyname @sam-f1 @authentiqsunsets
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wildpeachfarm · 1 month
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Just saw a thumbnail for a commentary YouTuber commenting on the ‘dream vs Connor’ situation, and it was awful. The comments however seem to be proving that the greater internet is finally starting to see all these fake CCs for what they are, and also how horrid the treatment of Dream is. So I guess that’s nice, cause YouTube is where the core fanbase is for Dteam and seeing a majority of them on their side right now is amazing.
Irrelevant CCs continue to prove one thing. They’re irrelevant for a reason. Their entire content is based on shitting on someone els-which is fleeting, and adhering to a mob that will turn its back on them the second they make a mistake. And none of them can handle being in dreams shoes, cause they get just a teeniest taste and cave immediately.
They couldn’t make the drituation stick, and the gogcident seems to be more on George’s side now, everyone is airing out petty grievances against Dteam, and they’re all looking like fools. I could cry. We’ve waited for days like this. The Brighton bastards pissed off the commentary YouTubers, which is NOT something you want to do. I never thought I’d see the day. Twitter is still Twitter, but everywhere else is starting to realize things.
Caiti shot herself in the foot by taking this whole thing public, and her friends solidified the beginning of the end for her by doing what they did. George may have “lost” on Twitter, and some of his “friends” may have publicly turned on him, but her career is done. She lost her passion and outside of Twitter, no one really believes a word she says.
Who knew it’d take a misguided, reactionary 19 year old to catapult the general public opening their eyes to the vitriol Dteam has been facing for years? And her friends airing out their petty grievances was the nail in the coffin. I said continuously during my four years in this fandom that the tides will change for Dream, and people will be making exposés on how the internet treated him. I don’t think it’s quite that time yet, but we are getting close.
I feel for Caiti in the sense that losing your passion for something you once loved sucks. I’ve been there and it’s awful. But she brought it upon herself the second she removed her autonomy in the situation and didn’t even listen to George’s response. That is the bare minimum of what she should have done, and she didn’t, so she created her own end, albeit probably unintentionally.
To the anon doom posting about Sapnap leaving George, go back to Twitter or TikTok. That energy isn’t wanted here. If Sapnap and George didn’t leave Dream during the drituation, they’re not going to leave George when he makes a mistake. They’ve all clearly stated they love each other, and having known each other for over a decade, it would take a lot to lose a friendship that deep and with that kind of longevity. We were walking on eggshells for a bit, but that’s his brother. Take your doomposting elsewhere.
Sorry this is more of a ramble; had a lot to say and needed a place to go with it. Appreciate my morning tea, always.
One last thing.
It will never be Dteamover.
Proud dteamolo right here. (With the caveat of Sam cause he’s never wavered from those boys)
-L :)
always a pleasure to hear from you L!
And yeah I am surprised to hear that apparently youtube is taking Dream's side with the connor stuff (so far?) but I will take a win no nonetheless!
Crazy how much this has spiraled but at least people are giving dteam at least a TINY benefit of doubt now
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romantichomicide95 · 10 months
Note
Hello :D
If requests are open, can I request fem reader with bf yuji just a happy couple or new couple that will have their first kiss and any romantic moments 🥹 the mini plot is completetly up to you and thank you sm for taking the time for noticing this 💗 Ive read most of ur writings btw i really love them!!♡♡
omg finally more Yuji! of course! i’m so happy, I’ve really been wanting to write for him he’s so sweet, also thankyou i appreciate that 💕
Yuji Itadori x Reader
FIRST KISS -Super fluffy.
Yuji Itadori was like a breath of fresh air. After dealing with Fushiguro's reserved nature for so long, someone who wasn't particularly interested in being friends with you, it was a refreshing change to have Yuji join Jujutsu High. You and Yuji became fast friends, forming a tight-knit group with Nobara, and reluctantly Fushiguro. Ever since then, the four of you were almost inseparable.
But there was a problem, an indescribable, uncontainable issue that troubled you day in and day out. It was the ever-growing feelings that brewed inside you for Yuji. The way his infectious laughter made your heart skip a beat, his genuine concern for your well-being, the way he seemed to understand you without words; it all made your feelings grow stronger each passing day.
Today was quiet. You were in the middle of the slow season and missions were scarce. None of you were complaining as it meant a lot more free time. For you this meant free time to spend with Yuji.
Seated side by side in your favorite spot by the riverside, just the two of you, you watched the calm waters flow as the warm suns rays bathed you. You couldn’t help but admire how the sun reflected off Yujis eyes, they looked almost golden with the sun shining on them.
“What do I have something in my teeth?” Yujis voice shocked you out of your trance and you quickly realized you were staring.
“N-no sorry.” you said embarrassed, turning away. “I-I just was lost in thought.”
"Oh good that would be embarrassing.” He chuckles briefly pausing before he speaks up again. “Hey. You know you're one of my favorite people, right?"
You look back up at him. He had this big goofy smile on his face. It made his eyes sparkle and you could feel your heartbeat pick up. It was so annoying how that smile always made you melt. “I am?” You finally manage to stutter out.
He took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours. "I mean... Yeah.” he chuckles “Why do you think I hang out with you much?”
Your heart picked up speed. “I don’t know Yuji.” you admit, a shy smile forming. “I guess I never really noticed you did.”
He laughed, a carefree sound that filled the air. “Yeah, I mean you always make me laugh, you’re smart, you’re probably the nicest girl I know. Plus…you’re so…pretty. Ya know?“
He shrugs nonchalantly, leaning back against a tree as the sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting shadows on his face.
You lowered your gaze, you almost felt…shy. "Yuji, I... I don't know what to say. That's... really sweet of you. You-you think I’m pretty?”
He grinned as he reached out to gently hold your hand. “Yeah I do. I think you’re beautiful.” His eyes met yours. His cheeks were dusted a light shade of pink, but he still had this confident air about him.
You bit your bottom lip. Fighting back the big excitable smile that seemed to be creeping its way into your face. “Thank you Yuji. That-That means a lot. Especially coming from you. I feel the same.” You say bashfully, squeezing his hand.
His smile grew and you felt warmth flush through your chest.Yuji leaned in closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, his voice soft.
You gave him an eager nod. A shiver of anticipation running through your body “Y-yeah I would really like that.” You smile.
Time seemed to slow down as Yuji leaned in even closer closing the space between you. You closed your eyes, your heart beating outside your chest as Yujis lips met yours. They were soft and tender and he kissed you with such delicacy.
I’m the heat on of the moment you grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him in closer and you could feel him smile against your lips as the kiss grew deeper.
As the kiss came to an end your lips parted, still lingering close. You both open your eyes, and you couldn’t help but smile as Yuji looked at you with adoration. You could feel the electricity between you, threatening to shock your system.
Yuji tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Wow…I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” He said leaning back again as his carefree laugh filled your senses.
You joined in on his laughter as the tension was replaced with pure comfort. “Well…it was worth the wait.” You say, as you lay your head down on his lap. He laced his fingers in yours again.
He looks down at you and smiles his big goofy smile. “It certainly was. I’m glad I dragged you out here today.”
And as you look back up at him, happy with the way today was unfolding and excited for what was blossoming between you both, you nod. “Me too Yuji…me too.”
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angstywaifu · 3 months
Text
The Lost Sister - Part 8
Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.
Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: Wasn't going to double post today but I'm feeling generous with it being Valentines Day. Sadly nothing super romantic about this one, but I promise some really good stuff is coming soon! I also have a few more one shots, but my requests are open if you have any more you guys want to send through! The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist
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The rotunda is empty as Imogen and I enter. Everyone in the dining hall eating. The feeling of being alone should unsettle me given recent circumstances, but after today I feel like that’s behind us.
Usually I would feel her eyes on me, but as she approached me in the hall I had no idea. Though I had been a little distracted at the lack of Garrick, Xaden and Bodhi at dinner.
She leads me over to the edge of the rotunda, and sits on the ledge, leaning up against one of the pillars. I copy her on the opposite side. For a few moments we sit in silence, looking out over the trees and mountains. It’s beautiful under the moonlight. In the distance I occasionally see dragons flying around. I wonder if one of them will be mine come threshing.
“I’d say I’m sorry for how I’ve acted towards you and what I did today. But I’m won’t. It’s just my weird way of processing this I guess.” She finally says, still looking out over the trees. “But, I can’t assure you it won’t happen again.”
I slowly nod my head. “Thanks, I guess.”
She looks over at me as if confused by my response.
“Not going to lie I was expecting a different response out of you regarding this. Also kind of surprised Garrick isn’t attached to your hip after what I did.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips. “Yeah well I kinda ran off after he told me he had feelings for me and I haven’t seen him since.”
She narrows her eyes at me and the look she gives me is like she thinks I’m crazy. Which honestly, I definitely am.
“You ran off?” She emphasises each words.
“Yeah.” I lean my head back on the pillar and sigh. I was such an idiot. “I ran off. Like an idiot. And now he’s nowhere to be seen.”
She shakes her head and laughs at me. “Well if it’s any help, I don’t think you haven’t seen him because of what happened. With Bodhi and Xaden also both gone, and from what I could see their dragons to, I think something’s come up.”
I nod. She’s right. In the last few weeks it had become almost normal for the boys to disappear some nights without much warning. But it still felt like it had to do with me. Maybe they went out to help Garrick clear his head. But if that was the case I’m sure either Xaden or Bodhi would have come to see how I was.
“I’m sure Garrick has told you are history and why I’ve been the way I’ve been?” She finally says after a few minutes of me swimming in my own thoughts.
“Yeah, only took me weeks of asking and then snapping at him in the healers quadrant before.” I tell her, earning a laugh out of her.
“I knew I’d like you. Even if I hate how much you have Garrick wrapped around your finger, I can see why.” She says with probably one of the first genuine smiles I’ve seen on her since I’ve been here. “And honestly I did this to myself. He always said he couldn’t give me more than something casual. That his heart lay elsewhere. He never said who, just that they were part of the rebellion casualties. And then you showed up.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any issues. Though was inevitable with everyone thinking I was dead for the last few years. Though I didn’t know Melgren’s plan till the night before conscription day.” I look away from her back out over the valley below us.
I catch the sad look that passes over her face as she studies me. “Don’t be sorry. You being back, as much as its annoyed me in one aspect, has been good the the guys. But can you promise me one thing?” She says as she stands.
I look over at her and nod.
”Don’t fuck it up. He deserves to be happy. And you definitely make him the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”
And with that, she turns and leaves me alone in the Rotunda with my thoughts.
Imogen’s words hang over my head. Don’t fuck it up. Easier said than done. Part of me is over joyed that Garrick shares the same feelings. Though looking back I’m an idiot for not seeing it sooner. I just put it down to us being best friends. Yes he wasn’t like that with Xaden, but I was a girl. Of course our friendship would naturally be a little different.
But part of me is also terrified. What if it goes badly? What if it puts a divide in the dynamic of our group. I couldn’t live with myself if I came between Xaden and Garrick. As much as Xaden is extremely loyal to Garrick, Xaden would pick me over him without a question. It would destroy him. But he would do it. And that’s not something I’d want him to do.
So I do the stupid thing and avoid them. Which sadly is quite easy with how little they are around. They’re in our daily battle brief class, wedged up in the back corner. I know cause I feel their eyes on me despite not turning around to see if they are there. But when it comes to challenges, their appearance is few and far between. And if they are there I do my best to blend into the crowd. As best as I can with my hair colour. Though I haven’t dyed it since arriving, and at nearly 2 months in my natural dark hair has started to shown through. Rhiannon and Violet keep telling me to let it grow out as it looks good with the dark red.
But outside of classes, I rarely see them. I get glimpses of them, but most nights they aren’t at dinner. Imogen makes comments about them being sent out for drills and such. Must be part of being a third year. Though I do notice they are gone more often than the other third years.
A few times Garrick tries to catch me after battle brief or find me at challenges, but somehow I manage to get away. I’m not quite ready to have the conversation he wants to have. But I can’t avoid it forever. A few times I nearly cave when I see the pained look in his hazel eyes. Pain I was causing. Pain I’d seen in Xaden and Bodhi’s eyes as well.
Soon our gym time turns into Gauntlet training with presentation day around the corner. So far our squad has done pretty well. Only one casualty so far. One I had to watch Violet almost be apart of. She hid it but I knew how much it killed her on the inside. She was yet to fully complete the gauntlet and today was our last day of training before presentation day tomorrow.
As we walk up the stairs to the gauntlet my heart drops. Not only is Xaden standing off to the side, Garrick is with him. It wasn’t uncommon for leadership to watch their squads do training on the gauntlet, so far neither had turned up for ours. Of course they show up on the last day.
Rhiannon who is next to me must notices something is off and follows my eyes to where Xaden and Garrick are.
“Why do you look so scared to see Xaden and Garrick?” She asks.
I hadn’t quite built the relationship with her that Violet had, but it was getting there. But I hadn’t told her about my interaction with Garrick after the challenge with Imogen.
“Remember how he took me to the healers after my fight with Imogen?” I whisper to her so the others around us don’t hear. The last thing I need is gossip spreading about this while I’m still figuring my own feelings out.
She nods. “Yeah I remember. Practically rushed over and scooped you up in his arms before you could get off the mat. Was quite romantic.” I roll my eyes at her.
Our group comes to a stop in front of the gauntlet, Xaden and Garrick making their way over with Emettiro. Both their eyes locked on mine.
I lean closer to her. “He might have confessed he’s essentially been in love with me for years and years despite me being dead and I kind of panicked and ran off and have been avoiding him ever since. Which also means avoiding my brother.”
She shakes her head and chuckles at me. “Girl I could have told you he was in love with you. No one looks at someone the way he does with out being in love.”
I go to reply but Emettiro calls us to start running the gauntlet. And I’m glad Rhiannon and I end up near the front, being one of the first ones to go. Though I doubt Xaden and Garrick are here to try talk to me, as much as they may want to. At the end of the day, they want the wing to do well.
I step up as Rhiannon takes off, my eyes meeting Garrick’s. His face is a mask and I can’t read it at all. I can tell he’s upset though. He’s never like that with me. I’m one of the few he never puts a mask up for. Xaden on the other hand is intently focused on Violet who is behind me. Before I take off up the gauntlet I offer Garrick a quick smile. For a brief second before I take off, his mask falters and his eyes soften as he gives me a tight lipped smile. The entire way up the I feel his eyes following me. He’s yet to see me climb it. And probably won’t tomorrow as most of the leadership wait up top for their squads and wings to pass the gauntlet.
I reach the top with ease. Yet again Melgren’s training had really prepared me for this. I’d barely had any issues getting up the gauntlet in the first day. And most times I caught up to or passed the person in front of me. As much as I didn’t want to think it. I was grateful for his training over the years. I turn around to look down the gauntlet to see both Garrick and briefly Xaden looking up at me. Both look happy with how easily I made it up. Xaden’s gaze drops to something below me. Violet is yet again stuck on the last parts of the gauntlet. And dare I say, does Xaden looks concerned? His eyes shift up to mine. We both know she needs to find an alternate way up the last part of the gauntlet.
Part 9
@riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh
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billthedrake · 10 months
Text
BACK IN THE GAME
"Damn, bro... you got magic hands."
Kent Green said it as a joke, but it was true. His best friend Bryan knew how to give a fucking neck message. And after going hard on shoulders at the gym, his buddy's strong fingers were working out the knot just right.
"I must be doing something right, bro. You're getting a fucking boner."
Kent blushed. He was close with Bry, but over the last half a year had gotten closer. He still had a lot of hang ups, though. "Sorry, man."
"Don't be sorry," Bryan said. His voice was crazy deep, deeper than Kent's still frat-bro affect. That baritone also fed his boner. "I like getting you hard, man." Those fingers were working deeper into Kent's traps now. "When was the last time you got laid?"
"You mean besides us fooling around?"
"Yeah, bro. Besides that."
Kent let out a sigh. "Fuck, Bryan. Too long. Ten, maybe eleven months?" He turned his head to look back. Bryan had a great body but was more regular looking, not a pretty boy. But the 25-year-old had a gruff handsomeness that grew on you. Kent tried not to crush out on his workout buddy and just enjoy the sex that happened when it happened. "I guess I'm a little messed up."
Bryan gave him a wry smile and removed his hands, patting the platelike pecs of Kent's chest. Kent had a leaner, taller build than Bryan but the dude's muscle was harder, more compact even. Bry sometimes teased his bud for being the golden boy - blond, college educated, from a well-off background. They were polar opposites in a lot of ways but had bonded at the serious bro gym they went to. Working out together, even cycling together.
"Not messed up, dude," Bryan assured him. "I just hate to see a dude like you blue balled."
Kent laughed. He leaned into Bryan's warm, muscular body. He had a good feeling sex was gonna happen. Post-workout sex, which was the best kind. But neither man was rushing it. "What about you, bro? You getting laid."
"Yup," came that deep voice. Then with hesitation, Bryan added, "I gotta boyfriend, actually."
That made Kent's body tense. They'd never talked about being gay. Kent, for the record, wasn't or at least didn't think of himself that way. He'd compartmentalized the fucking around with Bryan, too. Now his friend was putting it all out there.
"That's cool," he said softly.
"Am I weirding you out, bro?" Bryan asked. That bariton almost scratchy soft in its question.
"A little. But not really," Kent said. The spell had been broken, though, he scooted up away from Bryan, turning to face forward on the couch. He still had the erection his buddy's hands had given him, but that wasn't going down fast. "Sorry, man," he started. "I'm a little messed up in the head."
Bryan grimaced and nodded. "I guess I'm not the best at respecting the bro code," he said with a self-deprecating laugh. He settled back into his previous seating position, from before he offered the neck massage. But Kent could see that telltale thick rod poking up Bry's workout shorts, too.
Kent wished he didn't feel the sexual attraction he did. "So... who is this guy?"
"His name's Chris," Bryan said. Bashful as he spoke, but it was weird for Kent to see an almost kidlike glee in that gruff dude face as Bryan described his love interest. "He's kind of a normal dude, not a muscle guy like us... we've been going out for a couple months now."
That surprised Kent. "What the fuck? For real?" Then, "does he know about... you know..." he gestured between him and Bry.
Bryan nodded. "Not specifically, but he knows I play around. He does too when he travels."
"That's cool," Kent said. He felt dumb, and wondered if gay dudes were always easygoing like that.
The two sat on the sofa, a little awkward but that sexual chemistry not yet gone as their eye contact grew heavier.
"Bro..." Bryan started. "You wanna fool around? Like I say, Chris is cool with it. He's probably nailing some dude in a hotel room in Miami right now," he added with a chuckle.
Kent thought for a second. The gay thing added a layer of doubt to all of this, but at the end of the day this was still Bryan. He knew they could have fun and still be buds after. He gave a nod and shot Bryan a grin. "If you're up for it, bro... yeah, I'm pretty hard up right now."
"Hell yeah you are," Bryan grinned as he stood up off the couch, his boner pretty hard. He peeled off his workout shirt and involuntarily flexed a little as he tossed it aside. He was on a gaining cycle, as was Kent, but his beefy genes made the bulk that much bigger and more vascular looking.
Kent took in the vision and decided if he was gonna be gay for a dude, this was the kind of man he was into. A muscle guy like him. Even bigger than him. He stood up and followed suit, and by the time his shirt cleared his head, Bryan's hands were on his chest, lightly dusted with blond fur.
"You decided to stop shaving," Bryan observed, his fingers exploring the striated muscle be beneath the soft hair.
"Yeah," Kent chuckled. "Too much fucking work."
Bryan looked up from the chest and into Kent's eyes. His own brown eyes playful and a smile forming on that gruff face. "You think you could help me out this weekend? Chris likes me smooth."
This was weird as fuck, Kent thought, but he was strangely turned on. "Yeah, bro," he said. And like that the two buddies were lip locked. And Kent was now openly feeling up that magnificent bulking bod. Indeed he could feel the bristle short chest hairs starting to come in, and he imagined all that Bryan Walker beef shaved baby smooth...
"Let's take it to the bedroom, bro," Bryan hissed, reaching down to cup his buddy's erection for a second before stepping back and leading the way.
It had been a couple of months since they'd done this. Usually it was a quick BJ swap. But Kent felt a thrill as he watched that bulked up back and that meaty ass, evident beneath the gym shorts even. And fuck, even Bry's hamstrings and calved were off the charts. An inspiration.
The two twenty-something men were horny but they took their time. Getting naked, embracing on Bryan's queen sized bed, rolling around, making out. For all of Kent's hang ups, he'd never balked at the kissing part. Maybe because it was hard wired to his dick. Or maybe because he liked the way it just felt different kissing a man than a woman. Even when Bryan shaved, the dude had a lot of stubble.
Bryan Walker had fucked Kent, twice. It was OK, Kent guessed, but decided he liked it better the other way, and once Bry had made it clear he wasn't keeping score, that it wasn't tit for tat, it became a regular thing that Kent would do the plowing, and Bryan would give up his muscle ass for his buddy.
This was how it was gonna play tonight. Bryan leaning back, relaxed, legs spread wide as he let Kent lube and finger him good. Nice and slow, both men enjoying the foreplay.
"I'm glad you told me, bro," Kent said as three fingers were now buried inside his friend's snug ass. "About Chris."
"I shoulda before," he said. "Was too fucking chicken." He gave Kent a nod that he was good to go. This is how buddy sex often was. Two dudes free to talk while they boned each other.
Kent wiped the excess lube on his hard cock, a nice 7-incher that seemed just big enough to make Bryan know he was getting fucked good, without being too much a challenge. He scooted into the saddle and whacked his hardon against that wide-spread crack. Bryan fucking shaved down there, too, though his manscaping had been neglected long enough for the dark hairs to grow back.
"Hope you don't think I'm ass about things." He watched the connecting point of that puckered hole and his dick. Kent didn't realize before, maybe was too dumb, but Bryan Walker got fucked a decent bit. He was tight, but the ring was crinkled in a way that showed regular use. Rather than be a turn off, it excited Kent and he nudged his wet cut cock against the folds. He looked up at Bry. "I guess I should ask... you completely gay, bro?"
Bryan nodded. God his buddy's dick felt good, right in that spot. "Yeah, bro. I guess I lied when it came to chicks."
"I didn't," Kent said. Not judgmental, but clearing the air. "I just don't know how to put in the work anymore when it comes to women."
Bryan looked up at Kent with brotherly concern. He never knew how this golden boy could have a problem on the dating market. Kent was a total stud, a cute fucker, and he didn't act like a douche. "You just got off your game, bro," he said, reaching up with one hand to caress the bare chest and ab muscle. "We'll get you back."
Kent nodded in thanks. He contracted his core and let his hips move forward. And like that he was sinking into Bryan's warm body.
"Aw fuck yeah..." Bryan hissed. That deep voice was excited, and Kent wondered how much Bryan played up liking a cock inside him. Just hearing that thrill in Bry's voice was driving Kent to push in further... another inch, then another, and all the fucking way in.
"Oh God, you're fucking big, bro!" Bryan gasped.
"Too much?" Kent asked, checking in.
"Fuck no. Fuck me, man."
Kent did. He leaned forward and started a slow, steady fuck, then increased his pace. His cock was boning Bry deep and good soon.
Bryan's mouth was slack, halfway between a smile and a leer. His brown eyes met Kent's green one in a hungry gaze. "Fuck yeah... go for it buddy."
Kent really had hoped to make this about Bryan. He felt he owed it to his friend. But this all felt too good. The tight sensations around his cock, the feeling of all that bulking muscle beneath him, that connection and love he had for his best bud. And maybe this is why Kent didn't have a steady girlfriend. Not matter what head games he tried he could never last more than a minute.
He wasn't gonne break the minute mark now, either. "Shit!" he hissed. Orgasm was hitting quick and hard. Like lightning.
"Get it bro!" Bryan urged. "Get that fucking nut, man."
Did Kent get it, all right. The sweet goofy ex-frat boy tossed his head back and let out a loud and surprisingly loud cry. "Fuck! FUCK FUCK!" Kent yelled as he came deep in Bryan's hole, his thrusts nearly stopping to lock his hips in place to deliver his seed, with just small mini pumps of his dick along the inner walls of Bryan's ass.
Once he finished cumming he let his body relax and his forehead come down to rest on Bry's "God, man, that was incredible." Kent gave Bryan a soft kiss then pulled back. "Sorry I couldn't last longer," he said.
Bryan grinned but was mostly horny as fuck now. "It's all good man.... I like seeing you turned on." He looked down between their bodies at his own hardon. "You ready to suck me off, buddy?"
This was their arrangement. Kent fucked. And after, he serviced Bry orally. Kent slowly pulled out and then got in place, kneeling between Bryan's spread legs. One hand caressing Bryan's shaved ballsac while the other went to the ass to prod that cummy hole with a finger or two while Kent sucked.
Kent Green wasn't an expert cocksucker but he was pretty good for a mostly straight dude. He knew what would get his bud off and he went for it. Steady, quick bobs focusing on the top three or four inches. Pretty quick he felt the warmth and tasted the brininess of Bryan's hot seed. Unlike Kent, Bryan was a quiet cummer, but the soft caresses of Bryan's fingers in Kent's blond hair was the guy's way of showing appreciation.
The two men lay in silence next to one another for a minute. Between the gym and the sex Kent was tired and relaxed. He could almost fall asleep right there in Bryan's bed. But that was a line he didn't feel like crossing at this point.
He looked over at Bryan. Happy he could have the experience he just had and still be friends. "So... tell me about this Chris guy."
Bryan got a coy smile on his face. "You sure, man?" he asked.
"Dude... he's your fucking boyfriend. Of course I wanna know," Kent replied.
"Well, he's older, divorced... an airline pilot, actually."
"Yeah?"
Bryan grinned. "Yeah. It's definitely fucking hot... kind of a bucket list thing for me actually... to bang a pilot. It just turned out to be more than a one-time thing."
"That's cool, bro," Kent said, turning on his side to face Bryan. They'd done this before, talking man to man in bed after sex, only it had been Kent filling Bryan in about some hot date he had. "Um, how much older is he?"
Bryan paused. "A lot older. You might thing I'm weird, bro. But we kinda do the daddy-son thing."
Kent laughed. He'd been a connoisseur of "stepmom" porn and had enjoyed a few encounters with cougars, so the idea didn't seem so far fetched. But it was wild to hear it from the other side. "For real, bro?"
Bryan laughed nervously. "For real. Dude's 51 and pushes my buttons big time. Gray hair, dad bod the whole works."
"You're a man of surprises, Walker," Kent said, plopping back on the mattress and resting his head on the pillow.
"I guess," came the deep voiced reply.
Kent felt his eyes get heavy.
"Bro..." Bryan said. "If you wanna crash here, that's cool."
Already Kent's eyes were closing. "Yeah?" He could feel the bed shift beside him. Bryan was getting up. To shower off, or maybe just to brush his teeth. Kent should probably get up the energy to get back home himself. But it had been a long day. Just another minute....
Bryan got back in beneath the sheets and looked over Kent. He used to resent how fucking good looking his buddy was. Roman nose, rosy cheeks, blond hair, not thinning like Bryan's. Kent was tall, athletic, and cute in an easygoing masculine way, and Bryan had spent a solid year being jealous of a lot of things about Kent Green until he decided it was better just to be happy for the friendship. Everthing else... the sex, the intimate time like this, was just a bonus.
"We'll get you back in the game, buddy," Bryan said aloud.
But Kent didn't hear. He was already sleep.
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tartigglez · 1 year
Text
"i know it hurts..."
headcanons of some genshin boys when you have your period (pt.1??)
kaeya, diluc, thoma, childe, zhongli (separately) x afab!reader (pronouns not mentioned)
genre: fluff
word count: 800-ish
tags: periods, no distinct mention of blood, wholesome boys (for the most part), a lottttt of physical touch + petnames, kaeya is teehee, diluc is clueless as shit, thoma is absolutely whipped, childe is also clueless, zhongli is wayyyyy clued in
tw/cw: zhongli is written as genderfluid, mentions of foods/drink (soup + tea), kisses in zhongli's, i don't think there's much else to add here, lmk if i missed smth
a/n: surprise? hi! i've had a very emotional night, so its time for something extremely self indulgent. i wrote this mostly for the genderfluid zhongli agenda. also i'd like to remind everyone that i am genderfluid, my pronouns are they/she/he!!! ty, enjoy.
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kaeya’s personality seems to go through some sort of shift when you’re on your period, seriously! he’ll go from being a flirty, unserious captain with an eye catching smirk to a kind, gentle, soft spoken man. he will quietly hold you if you’re in pain, and try his best to distract you. will kiss you softly and assure you that it will pass, without ever making you feel like you’re exaggerating. strokes your cheek and does whatever you want to do in order to stay distracted. 
“darling? are you alright? are you sick?”
“no, just cramps.”
“ahh, here.”
“how does this feel? you okay? comfy?”
“yeah, I’m okay. thanks kae”
“not a problem at all, lovely”
“so, how was work? 
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diluc is lowkey confused at first in your relationship. he’s never spent much time around anyone who has a period, let alone having to live with one, so it makes sense (a little) that he really doesn’t understand anything that’s happening to you, or what hurts, or why, or how he can help. the first time he finds you curled up in his bedroom in dawn winery he’ll be really confused and awkward, run to adelinde and try to very discreetly ask her what to do (he doesn’t do a good job), but eventually she gets what he means, and tells him to just ask you, which he builds the confidence to do after hyping himself up for like twenty minutes.
“hi”
“hi, 'luc”
“uh… are you okay?”
“ish?”
“uhm… may i talk to you about something?”
“yeah, of course! what’s up?”
“what is… happening to you right now? it’s painful, i know, but how do i help? what do i do? what do you need? how can i make you comfortable? i don’t want you to be in pain.”
“pah, how sweet. come, sit, i’ll explain”
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thoma knows exactly what is going on, and when its going on. keeps track of your periods (with your knowledge and consent ofc) just so he knows what days to bring you whatever you may need. he’s a BIG BIG acts of service and gift giving kinda guy, because he’s always in the city, so he always picks things up for you. this happens even more when you’re on your period. of course, sometimes, his estimates of your starting days will be a little bit off, so he might end up randomly doing something and it seems like its out of nowhere, and he tries to play it off like it is too. 
“thoma? what’re you doing home this early?”
“oh, I thought i’d come home and make you soup!”
“make me… soup? that’s a little strange…”
“no it’s not! it's just because i thought you liked it, especially when…y’know”
“hah, your guess was off darling, you’re two days early. still, i appreciate the thought love. let’s eat?”
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childe is clueless. extremely clueless. but he’s also super duper sweet, and a very fast learner. he tries his best to understand what’s happening and what to do, but unfortunately he doesn’t really have anyone to ask about it. so he’ll literally read a book, which is rather rare for him but he would literally do anything for you. if you’re feeling really unwell, he will insist on taking the day off work to look after you. he’s extremely attentive and gentle, which is the side of him his “co-workers” don’t get to see. 
“morning baby! how’re you feeling?”
“mmhh,, morning chi. ‘m okay, a bit crampy”
“okay, i’ll stay here then.”
“what? no, you have work. you gotta go!”
“i’ll call in sick, they can live without me for a day”
“chi you can’t do this agai-”
“i’d do anything for you”
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zhongli. understands. everything. okay hear me out. zhongli can take any form he wants, so sometimes out of curiosity he would change into another body. he’d get completely, utterly shocked the first time he got a period whilst in this form (it was unexpected.), but learned how to cope with it, because he wanted to be able to fully understand the struggles that some mortals might go through.
he knows exactly what to do when this happens to you, speaks to you calmly and holds you if you get cramps. will brew tea for you, and get the latest herb combinations for pain relief from baizhu. will snuggle up to you, place his hand on your stomach because it’s warm, and hold you close. kisses your neck gently and asks if you need anything, overall just a big sweetie. if you want him to, he’ll go into his half-dragon form, so he can wrap his tail around you. loves you more than anything and will do anything to make you comfortable. you need something? it’s yours, no matter the extremes he has to go to in order to get it. constantly making sure you take your time with everything, and making sure that you don’t overexert yourself.
“my love, i know you’re in pain, please don’t push yourself”
“i know, i know, i just have a little more work to do”
“i trust you, but i’m staying here with you, just in case. have you eaten? are you comfortable? do you need any pain relief?”
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