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imjustagirlinthisworlddd · 4 months

Note

Hello:))) been reading ur newt hcs and absolutely adored them YOU WRITE HIM SO SWEET. But i was wondering if you would do newt cuddling hcs with a f!reader please? (I haven’t requested for you before so if this isn't the type of thing you do just delete this lol)

thanks<3

hello anon!! i'm happy you like those!! i think that newt is the type of person that treats their s/o gentle !! i hope you like this:))))

Newt who can't keep his hands to himself when you're both cuddling. Newt who would pull you into his chest with your back against him so he can kiss your neck. Newt who would put his arm around your waist just to touch you. Newt who would be crazy and rambles whenever he sees you wear his shirts to cuddle or sleep (and when you ask him why, he says "you look hot- i mean beautiful, wait i didn't mean it like your not hot, cause you are hot, i mean- your hot- wait that's not the point- but you look bloody amazing with my shirt"). Newt who can't sleep without you in his arms. Newt who would be very clingy and glued to you when both of you are alone (he's starved for your attention and affection). Newt who doesn't have a 'favourite cuddle position' but he loves it so much when you rest your head on his chest and just lay there. Newt who runs his fingers through your hair and leave a bunch of kisses all over your face whenever he gets the chance. Newt who sometimes wander his hands underneath your shirt (with consent of course) and he just trace circles all over your skin. Newt who sometimes would just lay in your arms tiredly because he’s exhaused from doing all work, helping around the glade, and having many meetings with Alby and the runners(he's a busy man). Newt who would smell a little more earthy when you guys are cuddling before shower. Newt who prefers to cuddle after shower because he thinks you'll like him more if he smells 'sweet like a candy' when you're both cuddling (he used your soap and shampoo because he said it made him "smell like sweets and vanilla" lol ). Newt who would sleep with you with hardly any space between each other. Newt who loves it when you bury your face in his neck and when you play with his hair. Newt who will always pull you back onto the bed and back into his arms if you try to leave or stop cuddling. ("Newt we have to get up! Alby will be mad at us-" "2 more minutes, please love? i'm sure Alby will be fine without me" "Newt, you said that 20 minutes ago."). Newt who doesn't mind being a big spoon or the little spoon when you're both cuddling. Newt who likes it when his arms are securely around your waist & his face in your hair when he's being the big spoon. Newt's arms will be the place you wake up every morning. Newt who would ask if he can play with your hair every time you're both cuddling (he wants to make sure you're giving him consent even tho you've reassured him that he doesn't need to ask that). Newt who would randomly compliment you when your almost asleep ("your so beautiful. like really bloody beautiful, love"). Newt who would sometimes talk in his sleeps because he gets nightmares when he's cuddling you ("please stay, please. don't go. stay with me." "i'm not going anywhere love"). Newt who would easily get sleepy when you run your hands through his hair. Newt who would fall asleep on top of you, then wakes up only to ask if you're okay, if he made you uncomfortable, and why didn’t you wake him up in his raspy sleepy voice. Newt who would have a staring contest with you and then make stupid faces so you laugh and he wins the contest (later on he tease you about it). Newt who would stay up with you and just have deep conversations as you both cuddle when you can't sleep ("why do people has to lose the person they love first, to realize they're bloody value and worth? doesn't make sense, what do you think?").

I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY MAKING THIS, IT TURNED OUT SO LONGGGG. I'M SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG FOR YOU

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islayhawkin · 3 months

Text

Savior

Jack dawkins x f!reader

Summery: you get hurt and jack does everything in his power to save you

Request: i loooooove your writing and i was wondering if you could do a htc with jack dawkins, maybe reader gets hurt and he had to operate & just them after xxx

A/N: ahh thank you so much! I'd never miss a chance to write angst and hurt/comfort 😌 Jack is one of the most unfamiliar characters for me right now so I‘m still trying to figure him out but I‘m happy that you guys seem to like it

Warnings!: blood, wounds, surgeries (basically everything that happens in the show too)

Angst, hurt/comfort

It had been a usual work day at the hospital for jack. Almost boringly so. Nothing really seemed to happen. No surgeries were planned. Only patients with some problem or another. That was until you came falling into his arms in the evening. Literally.

You stumbled into the hospital door with a hand on your bleeding abdomen. Your breath was heavy and you tried to blink the nauseous feeling away but had to hold yourself up against the wall. It left a bloody print on it but you didn‘t notice as you staggered over to Jacks room.

It wasn’t really logical to aim for Jacks room since he probably was still at work in the hospital but it was the first place you could think of. Lucky for you, Jack turned the corner into the hall and discovered you slumping against the wall.

His heart almost came to a stop at the sight before starting to bound out of control again. He ran over to your side with long strides and quickly wrapped his arm around your waist to holy you upright. His hands were shaking.

"What happened?" His accent was thicker than usual, panicked.

"Stabbed." You breathed out, barely getting the word out.

Jack cursed under his breath and quickly took action. He pulled his neckerchief from his neck and pressed it against the wound earning ragged breaths from you.

"Apologies. Press it." He ordered firmly. You had never seen him quite so stern with you. But Jack had no time for gentle words, he had to act quickly.

He swiftly picked you up bridal style with his hand in the crook of your knee and carried you over to the operation table. Meanwhile he screamed for Hetty or any nurse or help nearby for that matter.

You hang limply in his arms. Though you tried to follow his order to press the cloth against your abdomen, it was difficult to mentain the strength in your arm.

The feeling of your limp body against him didn't help Jacks panic. It wasn't as if the wound seemed so gruesome. He had seen and operated a lot more but this was different. It was you.

Usually he went into surgeries with ease. He put on a show for the audience, operate with steady hands and show off a bit. Now he wasn't even sure if he could do it.

It was his heart that looked at you not his brain. But he needed to push through and shut his heart off for a moment.

Jack pushed some things roughly from the operation table, which made a clattering sound as the stuff hit the floor.

At last Hetty rushed into the room too and her eyes widened at the sight before her. She knew what you meant to him.

Jack looked up briefly as she entered. "We need to check for any interanal demage immediately, then sew it close."

With quick fingers Jack pucked up his gear and sat it on the side table.

"Are you sure you are in a position to perform this surgery dr dawkins?" Hetty asked hesitantely.

"I have to." Jack snapped at her.

"Jack..." you whispered trying to catch his attention.

His eyes flew to yours and what he saw in them broke him. You were afraid. Terrified. He felt as if you were afraid of him. He was gonna cut you open, he was going to hurt you. But he needed to.

He swallowed. "It'll be okay love. I promise. I'm going to have to operate on you now but you will not feel anything." He tried to reassure you. Desperate to get that terrified look off of your face.

You searched him with your hand and gripped onto his pants. You needed some kind of closure to him. He understood and took your hand in his. Giving it a reassuring squeeze. There was blood smeared everywhere on your hands but that didn't matter.

He held a mask over your mouth with his other hand. "Just breathe. You'll feel nothing." He whispered.

That's the last thing you remembered before you slipped into a sweet sleep.

The moment you were out jack immediately went into action and took the scalpel from hettys hand. His hand trembled slightly and he pinched his fingers together in a attempt to get it under control.

It felt so wrong to hurt you. Of course he knew that he was just saving you. He did that on a daily basis. But your delicate form usually snuggled up against him, the one he was made to protect, to cut with a knife made him almost feel it on his own skin.

Hetty gave him a concerned look but didn't say anything else. He tried to focus on the task at hand and definately not look at your face. He had to take short breaks where he leaned on the desk and breathed deeply in and out but in the end the procedure went well.

After he had closed you up and checked for the 10th time if you still had pulse and were breathing, he picked you up in his arms gently and carried you to a free bed in a seperate room with ease. He'd get you positioned in his room later anyways.

It was dark already so he lit a candle on your bedside table.

He took a deep breath and gave himself permission to relax for the first time since you came stumbleing in. He got a blanket and gently draped it over you. He checked your pulse again and sat down on a chair next to your bed.

Jack slumped down and put his head in his hands. It had been terrible to witness, to do himself and it didn't leave him unscathered. The dried blood was still on his hands as he went through his hair.

He was distressed to say the least by this whole situation, not only felt he responsible for what happened to you, as if he should have protected you better, shouldn't have to cut you open, but also was this feeling terrifieingly new to him.

Jack was a street kid. He had grown up seeing gore and death. And he was a surgeon. He was living with death constantly. He had a living human under his hands daily. But with you it made him feel terrified.

He also wasn't very often terrified. His eyes moisted up. And he blinked hastily to get it away again.

So he engulfed your smaller hand in his big, calloused one. He had always loved the feeling of your hand in his. It made him feel like he was protecting you even though he failed so miserably in real.

You started to gain consciousness again as you blinked your eyes open slowly. The first thing you noticed was that everything hurt. The second was your hand resting in another and your gaze fluttered to jack on your side. He honestly looked a mess. Not that he looked less good because of it.

"You look like a mess." You muttered your thought out loud.

His head snapped up at the sound of your voice. "You're awake." He checked you over even though he knew excactly what state you were in.

Your hand softly squeezed his.

"How are you feeling? Are you feeling sick or dizzy?" He started to pepper you with questions.

"Feels horrible. Like I was hit by a horse." you croaked out.

Jack grimaced. "Yeah that's normal." He opened his mouth to start a sentence but clamped it shut again. Swallowing.

"I was really afraid." He whispered. His big brown eyes looking at yours sincerly.

You smiled weakly. "I was too. I'm glad you were there. Thank you."

He shook his head. "No that's not- I should've been there for you. I'll never forget that frightened look on your face...what happened excactly?"

You sighed and closed your eyes. "I was assaulted. Honestly I'm not sure what they wanted. Probably harass and rob me or something. Well I fought against them and it seemed they didn't like that very much. Stabbed me in the gut and left me on the street."

Jack ran a hand over his face. "I am so sorry. Still I'm glad that you at least weren't sexually assaulted... I shouldn't have let you gone outside alone. I told you it was too dangerous!" Jacks eyes started to wet again at the mental image.

"No. There is always a risk I know that. But i don't want you to- and I can't ask you to escort me everywhere I go. Just...thank you for saving me jack."

"Of course. I was bloody shaking doing that you know?" He gave you a small smile.

"You are the most chill person in a surgery." You stated confused.

"Well not when it's you under my scalpel."

He took the side of your face in his hands. Your skin was still pale. His eyes were switching between yours. "I don't want anything to happen to you ever again. I don't think I could bare it." He whispered. His face incredibly close to yours.

You layed your hand on to of his. "You're always there to save me if it should hapoen again doctor dawkins."

"I cannot fathom a life without you in it Y/N." He whispered.

You smiled lovingly up at him. "Will you join me in bed?"

He grinned widely. "Gladly darlin'. We have to be careful of your wounds though so no thigh cuddleing."

"Probably for the best." You groaned slightly as your attention turned back to the pain.

He got into bed next to you. It was a thigh fit but neither of you minded it at all. His movements were very careful and tender as he wrapped his arm around you.

You relaxed against him as he soothed the pain a bit away.

"I'll never let that happen again." He whispered rather to himself before a sweet slumber overcame you both.

#jack dawkins #jack dawkins x reader #the artful dodger #dr jack dawkins #tbs imagine #angst with a happy ending

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bellzsad · 19 days

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my roman empire is what would’ve happened if dylan obrien and thomas brodie-sangster had actually kissed in that one blooper

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reneeluv154 · 4 months

Text

Frostbite

Hope you enjoy🤍🤍🤍

In this imagine Newt finds out you have frostbite and takes care of you.

(More on my profile if you like this.)🫶🏼🫶🏼

I was cold, so cold but I wouldn’t let the others know, we had been walking in the scorch for weeks, although I wouldn’t call it the scorch anymore. It was cold, cold enough to make your lips blue and your skin crack and bleed. Newt tried to offer me his gloves when it first started getting cold two days ago but I denied them, instead wrapping them up in my sock’s.

Now the sock’s were just to hide my gruesome frostbite rather than keep them warm. “Guys, let’s stop here, we’ve been waking for far too long.” I couldn’t agree with Minho more, the blisters on the back of my heels and my toes making it to where I could barely walk.

“Y/n are you okay?” Thomas asked wearily before watching me stumble to the ground. “Woah hey.” Thomas tried to catch me but I hit the ground with him and Newt on either side of me. I began to weep which then turned into sob’s of anger. I punched the ground, “I’m fucking done! Do you hear me!” I screamed out as loud as I could, causing a vicious pain to shoot through my head. Everyone was crouched down forming a circle around me, fear and worry plastered on their faces.

“Hey, take a breath Y/n.” Newt was calm with a comforting hand on my back, the other on the sand, trying to keep from slipping. I violently sucked in air never fully finishing a breath. I truly couldn’t breathe. I looked at him with panic in my eyes as I tried to breathe, tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Okay, everyone back up.” His voice was stern enough so they understood but calm enough to not scare me. He gently grabbed my face.

“You’re gonna be okay. Focus on my heartbeat alright?” He grabbed my hand, placing it on his chest gently, leaving me to feel the calm, steady beating of his heart. After a few minutes, my breathing slowed, and my tears were gently wiped by his simple calloused hands. “You're okay.” He whispered, bringing me into a tight hug. I believe more for him than for me. He knew I never liked hugs. Although I had always wanted one from him, I hugged him back knowing that’s what he needed at the moment. I didn’t want to let go but loosened my grip leaving him to let go.

“Thomas, help me walk her over to that building.” He nodded over to what was more like a small shack a few feet away. So with Thomas on my left and Newt on my right we carefully walked over to the shack, taking a few minutes to settle down. I sat on a small crate while the others cleared spots to sit and sleep for the night. I was staring at the ground when Newt came, sitting down beside me, offering me a cup with something in it. Not bothering to zone back in, I shook my head.

“It’ll warm you up.” He said, setting it by my foot on the ground and kneeling in front of me. “Can you take these off for me?” He asked gently, laying a hand on top of mine. I finally zoned back in still not looking directly at him but carefully taking the socks off my hands trying not to let the fabric pull on the cracked skin.

His eyes widened when he saw the purple and blue, bloody knuckles and fingertips. ‘Fry, can you make a fire real quick?” He asked, not taking his focus off of my hands. “Already on it, Newt.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone Y/n?” He asked gently, trying to warm my hands with his own as well as blowing on them.”I don’t know.” I was quiet, barely even audible. “My feet are pretty bad too.” The look he gave me was the sweetest yet saddest thing I had ever seen. “They don’t have frostbite, just lots of blisters.” He nodded. “Go ahead and take your shoes off, the cold should make them feel a little better.”

I nodded, taking my shoes off while he went and grabbed a thin blanket we had stolen from W.I.C.K.E.D. wrapping it around my shoulders. He was right, the cold felt good on my hot blistered feet. “Here, let’s go sit by the fire.” He handed me the hot cup making my hands sting but I knew that meant it was helping. I was caught slightly off guard when he picked me up and carried me to another crate, this one close by the fire, my feet still being cooled off by the patch of cement underneath me.

I decided to sit on the ground closer to the fire. Newt came and sat on the crate behind me, his legs on either side of me. “Newt?” I asked and received a small hum while he set down his cup which I learned was just hot water, and started to play with some strands of my hair. “Is it okay if I just give up?”

“Give up?” He questioned. “Yeah, If I just quit trying to make it out alive.” I was ashamed of asking such a question but I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He grabbed both my shoulders leaning in close to my ear. “Y/n you can not give up, I won’t for one second let you believe that you can give up because I would never let you do such a thing.” And for the first time in a long time, a small smile made its way onto my lips. It felt so good to smile, especially with someone like Newt.

Around an hour later he had braided my hair and wrapped up my hands now everyone was getting ready for sleep. “Where are you sleeping, love?” He hadn’t called me that since the first time I came to the glade but it made me feel special.

“Can I…sleep next to you tonight?” He nodded, “Of course, c’mon.” He laid out some clothes on the ground and used a jacket as a pillow. “Go on, I'll tuck you in.” He smiled, so I laid down letting him lay two blankets overtop of me, given that was all we could spare. He then laid down, a small bit of space between us. “Goodnight Y/n.”

“Goodnight Blondie.”

I woke up a tad bit cold and a bit scared. There was thunder and rain all around us. The small shack was the only thing keeping us safe and that wasn’t promising. I moved over to where Newt was lying and rested my head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. “Are you okay?” He whispered, his voice still sleepy making me blush. “Yeah, I’m a little cold but more scared than anything.” Just then lightning struck close making me jump. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m here, I’ll keep you safe I promise.” He rubbed my back and gave me a small kiss on the head now wrapping both arms tightly around me. Humming a small song, which soon put me to sleep.

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newtkive · 3 months

Text

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

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dirtytransmasc · 8 months

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saw someone say they're we're happy Alicent's and Otto's deaths forced them "realize what they had done" and like...

Otto's one thing, I get the animosity. but Alicent? your getting hot and bothered over her realizing she failed, she failed to save her children, she failed to protect them, to them alive? that she tried so hard, so fucking hard, making every hard decision, trying to get between her children and the fate they were damned to by Viserys and Rhaenyra? that she damned her kids, who were already damned to die to begin with, and had to suffer the guilt of them dying to her own hand? that she's going to drive herself mad with grief over her children, her grandchildren?

like... it's not satisfying (especially for show Alicent) watching a woman go so mad with grief it literally kills her because she fought with everything she had to save her children only for them to die anyway. ever since her father's exile, when Rhaenyra's lies took Viserys's favor, when Viserys ignored the Rhaenyra's sons bastardhood at the risk of the whole house, or when Luke took Aemond's eye and Viserys demanded good will; she knew her children's lives were forfeit. then Daemon killed Vaemond and her children's coffins were built, catching cobweb's all the while. she knew and she fought it desperately, taking risk after risk, living in fear until her moment came, she could out Aegon on the thrown, she could protect her kids, maybe, just fucking maybe they'd be safe... only for it to lead to a war that would kill her entire family.

her death, slow and tragic as it was, is heartbreaking. she didn't deserve it, she deserved to feel safe, to feel as though she could allow her past friend take the thrown without her children being at risk to feel as though she and her children weren't being circled by wolves and picked at by vulture's. she didn't deserve to live alone and die alone. she didn't deserve to have her hands coated in her children's blood.

#the fact that her (amongst many other greens deaths) get so many TB fans dicks hard is actually nauseating #like do you not realize how fucking awful her death is going to be?#like I cant imagine her pain #imagine risking it all after years of literal torture by her own families hand #her father manipulation. Viserys's abuse snd neglect. Rhaenyra's betrayal.#to save her kids #knowing they were damned #thst they would die if she didnt try #and than they died horrifically anyway #despite her efforts to save them #to be a good mother #to not fail them???#and this isnt to blame her if that isnt clear #its just such a fucked up situation she was in #they were going to die regardless (in my opinion the war was going to happen no matter what they did and it would have claimed their lives)#but in trying to save them it felt like it was her fault #if you get what i mean #which makes her descent into madness so sickeningly horrific #alicent hightower #alicent my beloved #pro team green #pro alicent hightower #hotd #house of the dragon

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sailor-aviator · 6 months

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Jake "Hangman" Seresin Series

Hi! Here is a list of the series I'm writing for Jake "Hangman" Seresin! Each series has multiple chapters and you can find their brief summaries underneath the titles! If you would like to read more you can head on over to my Masterlist! If you enjoy my writing, consider buying me a ko-fi!

Masterlist

Don't Hang'em Til Noon (Complete)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin is a notorious leader within the Dagger posse of the old western territories of the United States. You, a recently orphaned socialite from the eastern seaboard, find yourself swept off to live with your older brother who has set down roots in said western territory. Determined to to make the best of your situation, what will you do when said outlaw sets his sights on you? (Western AU)

Hanging By a Moment (Incomplete, Ongoing)

Taking place directly after the events of "Don't Hang'em Til Noon," this series follows more of Jake and Scout as they traverse life in the New Mexico territories. A drought has hit the town of Maverick, resulting in that year's crops dying. With little food to go around, the Dagger Posse must turn to unsavory means in order to provide for their friends and family. Additionally, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and your brother, Benjamin, have established rights to a gold mine that's now drawing in more and more unsavory characters. Will you have what it takes to survive the growing danger?

Meet Me at the Sea (Complete)

Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you. (Mermaid!Siren!AU)

Fool's Fare (Incomplete, Ongoing)

Captain Jake "Hangman" Seresin had come close to swinging from the gallows more times than he would care to admit. He's stolen, cheated, even killed. The worst thing he's ever done? Broken the heart of a woman. Having broken the heart of the woman whom Davy Jones himself had fallen for six years ago, Jake is now cursed to live as something not dead, but not alive. He's doomed to live a half-life for the rest of his existence unless he manages to obtain the treasure Davy Jones deems most valuable. The problem? He has no idea what it is, and he only had seven years to obtain it. (Pirate!AU)

Two Birds (Incomplete, Ongoing)

Growing up in the midwest meant that you weren't exposed to many of the dangers of the world, and it also meant that you missed out on some of what life had to offer. Taking a leap, you move to New York City with a few personal belongings and the little money you have left in your savings. You become good friends with your roommate and, by extension, the people at the club she works at. However, it isn't long until you catch the eye of not one, but two mafia bosses that rule the city with an iron grip. Will you stay out of their clutches, or will you give in and become another pawn in their wicked games? (Mafia!AU)

Road to Perdition (Coming Soon)

The Great Depression wasn't called a depression for nothing. Jobs were scarce, and the price of food and other necessities were rising higher and higher with each passing day. What little money you were able to make went straight to the bank and out of reach from your booze-swilling lech of a brother. It's on one such run that you come face to face with members of the infamous Dagger Gang; a group of, admittedly handsome, men who steal from the banks to hand it back out to the poor. You want nothing to do with them, but that blond-headed devil might just have something to say to the contrary. (1930s!Mobster!AU)

By Its Cover (Incomplete, Ongoing)

The frivolity of high society has never much interested in you. You preferred to spend your time reading, something your sisters couldn't fathom as they spent their time shopping the latest dress styles. The youngest of five children and the fourth daughter, not much was expected of you. You knew you might be married one day, but you hoped beyond hope that it would be to someone that might understand your intellectual pursuits. You begin exchanging letters with a mysterious stranger, and what's more, your older brother's rakish best friend seems to find himself in your path more and more as the season goes on. What's a girl to do? (Regency!AU)

Fortune & Glory (Coming Soon)

Jake Seresin was a well respected archeologist in the field, colleagues and strangers coming from far and wide to seek his expertise on various subjects. However, when an old friend barges into his lecture rambling on about the ten plagues and the Nazis, Jake finds himself thrust into an adventure he's not sure he's necessarily equipped for. He doesn't know much of anything when it comes to pre-Christian artifacts...but he knows someone who does. Will Jake swallow his pride and ask for her help, or will he try to go this one alone? (Indiana Jones!AU)

The Yawning Grave (Coming Soon)

You had always loved the stories your grandfather had told you about the "cunning folk," as he called them. You dreamed of a world beyond our own, but as you grew older, those stories faded into memory. Now, you're freshly graduated from college and on a trip to Scotland with your best friends. What you don't expect, however, is to gain the attention of a mysterious man or the wrath of the woman seemingly with him. You especially don't expect to find yourself in the middle of one of the old stories your grandfather had told you - one where you end up in a world that's not your own and with very few ways out. (Fairy!AU)

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askzloyxp · 19 days

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But doctor, I AM PAGLIACCI!!

#imagine watching so much of your own stuff that youtube starts recommending it to you #i actually just was clicking my old TB videos to download them #for reasons.. mysterious reasons

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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jaime through the eyes of other povs

#ik ik reconstruction of b&tb #also appearances #doodoo caca covered in gold #doesnt change the fact that he is an it boy #i still love tho that before asos he is presented to us as someone truly inhuman #like a griffith esque villain/beast #like these descriptions arent even positive they r just grand #like this kind of perfection is so inhuman #until he is brought back down and made into someone so thoroughly human #tbf this illusion also breaks when he falls off his horse and gets his helmet stuck on his head like a loser #half a corpse & half a god iktr #imagine being the worst guy ever and that all these people want to bash ur skull in #but 90% of them still go like #ok but id hit…#jaime lannister #valyrianscrolls

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the-fiction-witch · 3 days

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Jack Dawkins Masterlist No.2

Arrangement - Sweet

Arrangement P2 - Flirty

Arrangement P3 - Cute

Experiment - Cute

Little Squirrel - Cute

GIRL - Sweet

GIRL P2 - SMUT

I've Killed An Angel - Sad

I'm Sorry My love - Sad

Magic Words - Smut

Magic Words P2 - Smut

Favourite Nurse - Sweet

A New Job - Spooky

You... You Can't Just Kidnapp A Girl Fagin! - Cute

You... You Can't Just Kidnapp A Girl Fagin! P2 - Cute

It's Not Fair - Sad

Hello Nurse - Smutty

Hello Nurse P2 - Sweet

I Hope You Wake Up Soon - Smut

Corset - Smutty

Criminals - Sweet

Nurse Y/n - Flirty

Doctor's Orders - Smut

I Know Who You Are - Sweet

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cringefail-clown · 10 months

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city council meeting (kankri got locked up until he learns to shut up and respect Mayors opinions)

#homestuck #homestuck turnabout #turnabout au #dirk strider #kankri vantas #mayor #wayward vagabond #please accept this shit tier doodle *bows*#i imagine in tb meteorstuck mayor goes “strider boy enjoys engineering... youre a city engineer now”#and dirks like “those are two completely different things but sure ill bite”#kankri comes around at first only when mayors alone bc he likes to vent bout his problems to him #but later tags along bc he has superior ideas bout how the cantown should develop like #(and he starts to enjoy dirks company to his utter distress)#also #dirkri #iguess

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imjustagirlinthisworlddd · 7 months

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"Is it too late now?"

Newt x Reader (TMZ)

summary - you thought it'll be the last time you ever saw Newt in the day he died on your arms, until he showed up in front of you.

no warnings !! this is pure fluff and maybe a little angst 😸

You sat on the sand, the cold air hitting your bare shoulders as you breathe in deeply at the salty air of the ocean in front of you, waves bring the water closer to your feet. It calms you.

you always love those small things. you loved the sun and the stars, amazed at how they can shine on they're own.

you watch the stars and wish that you could also be like those stars, shine on they're own. But you can't, you're different. you're the moon. The moon that shined because of the sun.

The moon that wait days and nights and hours to shine together side by side with the sun but the day never came.

you're the moon, while newt is your sun.

Newt, the boy that made your life thousand times more better with him in it.

you missed the days you and him wouldn't sleep and sneak out quietly and you went to the top floor with him holding hands. watching together how the stars shine the sky so brightly and feeling the night wind blow your hair.

There we're times in glade where Newt would always hold your hand tightly while kiss you on your forehead and lips once in a while and say how much he loves you, grinning so widely to you.

You miss him. You can't deny the fact you miss him. You miss the times you had with him in the glade.

The ocean waves getting closer to your feet and the sound of footsteps reaching closer to you.

"good morning" came from minho as he sat down next to you. you replied with a forced smile, not really feeling like you want to talk.

"hey, you sure you don't want any breakfast? i made pancakes, the same ones you used to made" asked thomas, sitting beside you too, as he looked at you with worry.

The same one i made in the glade for them and newt.

Newt.

"I'm not feeling really hungry", you weren't lying, you hardly eat anything ever since you arrived at the paradise.

Thomas came and sat next to you. "well then, water?"

he handed you a cup of warm water.

"Thanks", you said before taking a gulp.

Minho puts his arm around you, "i know this is hard for you", he started,

"it's hard for all of us, but you need to take care of yourself. you haven't eaten anything since yesterday we arrived, and you're supposed to be resting in your room" He finished, speaking to you softly.

You gave him a small nod, and stared at the cup your holding as the sand warms your feet. "How have you been sleeping lately?" Thomas asked

"I sleep well" you send him a soft smile as he returns the smile and trace smoothing circles on your back.

The three of you watch the ocean for a moment without a word, you look to the sand as you inhaled deeply. Minho's eyes fell on you, and you turned to him with a soft weak smile. "Hey,"

with a small forced chuckle from the black haired boy, he replied "Hey"

"I'm glad you're both okay" you glanced at your feet, "I don't know what i would've done if you guys couldn't make it"

they nodded, looking at you for a while before minho replied; "i didn't expect that i'll made it here too"

thomas chuckle, "everything feels like a dream"

you didn't reply anything and just watch the waves getting closer to your feet. "I'm hungry, i think i'm gonna go get something to eat, see you both later" with that, you walked off

you weren't actually hungry, you felt empty. you just needed a reason to walk away. talking to them remind you so much of Newt and what happened that night.

Newt's hands are cold. His eyes empty. He's gone. tears pouring faster, and you wipe the tears away roughly.

"You can't leave me like this. not now, not later. you promised me you'll never leave me. please, newt. please. answer me."

you sighed.

Slowly, you made your way to get food, dragging your feet behind you. You stared at your surroundings, fiddling the hem of your shirt, trying desperately to not think of Newt but failed miserably. everything feels weird without him. the feeling that something is missing.

But as you looked to your left, there he stood, your eyes widened in surprise and you shake your head.

'stop, he's not here anymore, don't imagine things and pull yourself together y/n. he's gone.' you remind your self, trying so hard to not take a double look to check, but you couldn't hold your self so you looked. this time hoping he'd be there

you saw him.

again.

then the reality comes crashing down as you looked at him.

you froze. you stared at the blonde boy.

Newt.

your eyes locked at the sight your seeing. it's really him.

"Hey what's wrong?" Minho asked looking at you concerned.

You stood there, still frozen.

"Did you change your mind? do you not want to eat pancakes?" Minho asked

You finally found your words, and say what was holding your voice stuck in your throat. "that's... newt?"

his eyes fall to the direction your looking at. it took him a second to process it was really him as you both stood frozen.

Newt. The blonde boy. The love of your life. The one that died that night, is now running fast towards the two of you. He hugged you both tightly.

Thomas stared at him with surprise from afar, dropping his glass of water and run to our direction, hugging newt tightly as the corner of his eyes start to water.

Minho and Thomas asking him many 'how' questions as he replied "I'll answer all of your bloody questions later" his british accent ringing in your ears, making you cry. Is this really newt? but how?

"Newt.." the sound of your voice made him turn to you and smiled lovingly with tears in his eyes.

"Hey gorgeous" He opened his arms to hug you, you jump into his arm immediately feeling his warmth, solid and everything, He held you tightly against his chest.

You buried your head in his neck and your tears wetting your cheeks, tears drenching his shirt. you smiled a little. for the first time your truly smiled after you lost him. you hugged him tighter, still wanting to feel the warmth of his body and his touch as you feel him pressing his lips into your forehead and the smell of his body that you missed so much is enough to make you feel like you're home.

anywhere with him is home.

"Newt.."

"I'm here"

you finally pulled away, to look at him. those dark brown pair of eyes, his caramel colored hair that turned to a vibrant shade of gold when the sun hits his hair. oh how much you missed them.

it feels so unreal seeing him right now in front of you, you don't know if it was real or not.

he smiled at you again. that smile. the one you missed so much.

you hugged him again, this time with your head on his chest, he held your head in one hand and and your back in his other, pulling you closer and putting his head on top of yours gently.

you pulled away again, running your thumbs on his cheek and lips, realizing all the black veins, black eyes and popping veins we're gone. he's back to normal.

Minho spoke up, "But how? you..you we're stabbed and you died,"

"Yeah, we see you died that night in her arms, it doesn't make any sense" Thomas added.

"To be bloody honest, i don't know how myself. but i think y/n's blood touched my wound when we fought that night and it killed the virus and i survived, then i woke up surrounded by people, cured, and they led me here." he finished, looking at them.

"who we're those people?" thomas asked

"who ever those people are, I'm happy to have you back shuck face." minho laughed.

"and i'm happy to be back" newt smiled at us all, before whispering into my ear, "we've got a lot to talk about" he grinned.

Thomas glanced at minho, signalling to him to give you both time to talk. minho nods in response. "You must be hungry newt, let's make more food for them, and give them space to talk alone" Minho whispered the last few words and left with the others leaving you and newt alone.

"We'll meet you there later!" newt called back and turned to you, grinning.

he sit down at the sand, and pat the sand next to him, signalling you to sit next to him, so you did. he looked directly to you, breaking the silence.

"i miss you"

your eyes widened at the sudden confession, your eyes start to heat up and tears start to flood your eyes making your vision blurry.

"sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry" he looks at you softly and wipes your tears gently.

"you don't know how much i miss you and how hard it was losing you" you started. "it felt so weird without you here, it's like something's missing" you gazed at your lap

"i'm sorry for that night, i should've told you and try to work it out together like you said, but it was the best way to protect you" he started

you nodded as you understand the word 'that night' referring to the night you both argued because he hide the fact he was infected and you both broke up because of it.

"that night when i finally turned to a crank, i know i shouldn't have attacked you, but something in me is screaming for your blood, and in the end i hurt you, i'm sorry love." he whispered. your surprised at the last word, he used to call you that before you both broke up.

you forced a chuckle. you definitely missed being called that. you smiled at him "i understand and yes, i forgive you newtie. i always will."

he felt his heart skipped a beat at the familiar nickname you called him

newtie.

his words stuck in his throat as he tried to get him self to continue say the things he was planning to say but he failed miserable, after a second he finally forced out the words.

"and i know we had a bloody argument and we're not together anymore but i still love you y/n. i didn't mean the words i say when i told you i don't love you anymore and i don't need you caring about me, i still love you so freaking much and i really love it when your care for me, so..."

his voice getting quieter as he looks at you nervously, trying to observe your expression as his voice stuck in his throat for the second time. he lowered his head looking down at his lap, trying to find the perfect words to tell to you

'it's now or never'

"listen, the point of what i'm trying to say is, do you think it's too late to continue what we had?" he glanced at you and made eye contact with you

you chuckled at his nervousness. "so you're trying to say that you want to get back with me and continue our relationship?"

"if you still love me, well yeah" you chuckled

"i still love you newt"

"then, it's a yes?" he tilt his head and grinned at you, happy with your answer and now hoping you would agree to his offer

"why would i refuse?" you answered.

"bloody hell, come here" he smiled, he leans up, closer to you and kiss you. you kiss him back.

he hugs your body as your arms snaked its way to his neck and your fingers run to his hair, your fingers tangled in his hair. he pulled your body more closer, colliding yours with his until it you can feel his body warmth.

you both pulled away when minho suddenly yelled "Y/N, FOOD'S READY

you turn to newt. "You ready to meet everyone else?"

he nods. "yeah, let's go"

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you walk in together, and you see the moment everybody's faces turn into shock except for minho and thomas, who was smiling widely at you both. you guessed that both of them haven't told the other's.

gally's eyes fall to yours, as if he's asking confirmations from you. you nod at him and smiled. gall's eyes widened and start to water.

"hey?" newt gives a little wave nervously as he watched the others exchanging glances with each other, and then gally, frypan and the other's moved, leaving the table they're sitting in and charged towards newt with a hug as newt happily hugs all of them tightly and didn't let go until thomas butt's in.

"alright everyone, let's eat as much as we want as a celebration AND STOP THE HUGGING SESSION, newt haven't eaten anything at all today"

they roared with laughter and finally pulled away from the hug.

standing beside you, minho chuckled and whispered, "you're happy aren't you?"

you smiled and nodded at him. "is it that obvious?"

"yes y/n, it's so obvious" you both laughed.

suddenly you feel someone hold your hand. you turned to see newt grinning before he pulls you into a sudden deep kiss as everybody else laughed. you both pulled away after everyone yells 'do it somewhere, you love birds!!' and your ears turn into a shade of red as newt's lips turn into a wide grin

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islayhawkin · 3 months

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Could that be enough?

Jack dawkins x f!asexual!reader

summery: you're asexual and decide it's time to have the talk with jack

Warnings!: suggestive/sexual topics but only talked about, human body reaction

Hurt/comfort

A/N: this is for the ace representation I myself need in media/fanfiction so I'm doing it myself. If you want this or similar stories with other characters in my list I'm happy to take in every asexual reader request :)

You were both cuddled up on the small bed in jacks room. It was dark except for the candle flickering on the bedside table. Your head lay on his chest and you could hear his constant heartbeat. Your head moved slightly up and down throught his slow breaths. Your arm lazily draped across his waist. He held you softly against him by the hip. Your legs were tangled together.

He kissed your temple and you looked up at him with love in your eyes. "Can I stay for the night?" You whispered.

" 'course. I'm not gonna let you wander home alone in the dark now. I need to stand up early though." He replied softly with a grin.

"Hm. That's alright." You hummed contently and absenently let your hand caress his bare waist. His shirt and waistcoat already taken off for the sake of sleeping.

"You comfy?" He chuckled, which made his chest vibrate.

"Very." You grinned as you snuggled your head demonstratively into his chest.

He smiled at the adorable sight and pulled your head up to his so he could give you a peck on the lips. He caressed your cheek with his thumb. His hair fell messily across his forehead as he looked at you with those big brown eyes. You stroke his hair back gently. He grinned at that action and leaned in to kiss you again. "You're adorable."

"You too jack. You have puppy dog eyes." You giggled.

He chuckled. His eyes switching from your eye to eye and down to your mouth as if to take in every little detail. "I love you" he whispered. His expression now serious. He was suddenly overcome with emotion. You looked so precious in his arms and he felt the strong need to squeeze you thigher to him.

He pulled you subconciously a bit closer and pressed his lips to yours again. It was sweet and slow but jack put a little bit more force into it after a moment. Wanting to be as close to you as possible.

When you both pulled away to breath you had the chance to respond. "I love you too." You breathed out.

He didn't miss a beat to kiss you again. You were partly laying on top of him now and he held you by the waist. The other hand on your cheek.

As his kisses got more passionate you felt something against your leg. You didn't know much about those matters but you knew the basics. And you knew what that meant.

It was poking into your thigh slightly as your leg lay between his. You tried not to let it bother you but you couldn't help but worry.

"We can't be too loud. The hospital will hear." He heaved breaths but there was a smirk on his face.

Contrary to you as your expression fell completely. You froze up and almost unnoticably moved a bit away from him. When he tried to pull you down for a kiss again but you were unresponding he realised something was wrong.

A frown appeared on his face. "Love? W-what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

He turned your face to him so he could inspect you and look for any sign what could be wrong. A confused but concerned look on his face.

You didn't know how to respond but you moved your leg away from his. "Jack I..."

His attention was brought down to your leg and his frown eased in realisation. He looked up to your eyes again.

"Oh does that make you uncomfortable...? I didn't think about how it could bother you." He supressed the urge to pull you closer again and gave you a bit space on your side of the bed. He pulled himself up against the headboard to have a good look at you.

"Because the women you had before me were there for that?" You said softly. A smile twitched at the corner of your mouth through the serious facade.

He grinned and lowered his head in shame. "Yeah I guess." Usually he didn't feel any regret whatsoever for his sexual life but to tell you this, while you were sitting next to him so innocently, filled him with shame. As if he betrayed you by doing this even thought he didn't even know you back then. "Does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked again hesitantely.

"Yeah. I mean- your body doesn't bother me but you said you...uh" you tried to explain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. We don't have to right now. That's fine." He said calmly.

You sighed. "Jack I- I need to tell you something." There was a small pause. "I don't want to have...intercourse with you."

He blinked. "Oh that's alright love. We can take it easy. I can show you slowly. Or wait til marriage if that's what you wish. I do not intend to pressure you in any way."

You shook your head and let it fall back against the wall in frustration. "No that's not what I meant. I don't want it ever. At all." You pressed the words out painfully.

Jack blinked and swallowed nervously. You could see that it hurt him. It stung him in the heart.

"But- is it because I cannot give you the life you deserve? Don't you love me in that way?" He asked almost defensively.

You couldn't watch this. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it lightly. "No. No. Jack this has nothing to do with you. I don't want it with anyone."

"Then why? I don't understand. Is this something medical? Shall I take a look?" His doctor mode turned on as he was now concerned for your health.

"This is not medical jack. I don't feel the same way you do. I don't have the urge to want it. I think it would feel horrible."

He came closer again. Holding your cheek in his palm. "Horrible? It's not horrible. You have a completely false picture of it. I'll show you. Just trust me. I don't know what you've been throught to think that sex would be horrible but I'll prove you wrong."

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head slightly in the palm of his hand. "No jack. I don't want it ever. I really don't. You can't change that. I'm sorry."

Slowly he seemed to realise that you really meant what you were saying. "Okay. It's alright you have nothing to be sorry about. Just- why would it feel horrible to you?"

"A foreign...thing would be inside of my body. I'd want to push it out."

"But it's not foreign. It's just me." Jack tried to understand you. But it was hard. It felt like you had just rejected him. You would push him away. You wouldn't want him.

Your eyes moisted and as he noticed he was desperate to stop making you sad but he needed answers.

"It's alright darlin'. I'm just trying to understand." He caressed your cheek with his thumb. "So we'll never have sex?" He whispered eventually.

You nodded.

"Do you even like me then? Do you like to touch?" His eyes scanned your eyes. His face so close to yours.

"Of course I do. I love you. I love you so much I think I can't live without you anymore. Everytime I see you I think my heart might burst. I like touching you. I like to feel you near me. I feel so much for you. I can touch you in any way you'd want. We just don't feel the same way about it. I don't feel anything...sexual. I'm not even sure how that feels for you." You blinked as you tried to hold the tears in.

He smiled and nodded, a little bit relieved. Maybe you didn't feel the same thing, but it made you happy to touch each other regardless.

“That’s okay. I enjoy it a lot too… we can continue with that… and I won’t press the subject. I’ll respect your wishes and I won’t push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

You were so relieved by his response you immediately grapped his face and gave his cheek a kiss. "Thank you. I was so worried." A tear now escaped your eye.

He wiped the tear away with his thumb. A sad smile on his face. "Oh love I'm sorry. I should've reacted better. It's really difficult for me to understand but that's alright."

"Won't you miss out?"

“How can I miss out on somethin' that would hurt you? If it causes you pain, or any discomfort, then how could that be somethin' I enjoy? I would never be able to enjoy anythin' sexual if I knew it was causing you pain or sadness. And that is somethin' that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for. I would always know that you’re in pain… that you’re doing something to make me happy… and that would make me sad. I will miss it… I won’t lie to you, and I won’t try to hide that. Yes, I will miss it because that’s what I am used to. But I want you above that. We’ll manage.”

"We'll manage" you sniffled and he pulled you into his chest. "Promise you'll talk to me if it bothers you. That you can't have it?"

"I will." He whispered. There was a calming moment of silence. Only small sniffles were heard. "Does it bother you when my body reacts to you?" Jack asked quietly.

You hesitated. "Does it mean you want to have intercourse...?"

"Did you think that all this time?" Jack asked incredilous.

"Yes? Don't you get, you know, ready for it when you do that..."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle. "I uh- well yes. But it doesn't always mean that I want to have sex with you. It can. But it happens a lot too without me wanting to. Sometimes it just shows how much you mean to me that my body is reacting that way."

You smiled into his chest. "Oh...okay I didn't realise that."

"So it doesn't bother you?" He grinned.

"No. Then I suppose it is rather nice to know you appriciate me."

"That I do. Very much. This won't change anything between us. You don't need to worry. I can't believe you had to hide this the whole time." He pushed his messy hair back.

"Thank you."

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