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stormyoceans · 4 months

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Monica I'm really scared. It's ep 11 next week. We haven't got Mork crying. (Sam mentioned to me that we haven't even gotten the day bawling scene from the trailer?) This eye donation thing seems a little bit too happy and hopeful for an ep 11.

I know this sounds bad but I really hope day doesn't regain his sight. Because everything the series built up about how blind people also are able to experience this world will all go down the drain. And some part of me knows p'aof will not do that. But then. It's so cruel. To give Day the eyes, the hope of vision just to yank it back so heartlessly. It's so mean. I am scared for next Friday monica.

i feel like i should probably wait to answer you because rn the episode is still too fresh in my mind and i don't have the emotional detachment necessary to be, if not positive, at least not utterly and embarrassingly overdramatic about this but. my mood really flipped a whole 180 degrees because of that ending and ngl. im not doing too well ;;;;;;;

FAIR AMOUNT OF NEGATIVITY UNDER THE CUT I ALREADY APOLOGIZE FOR IT

the thing is. i don't think the surgery next episode is gonna be successful, but i still so deeply dislike this eye donation plotline regardless of how it's gonna end because what's the point of it? if the surgery is successful and day gets his sight back, then it's gonna defeat the entire message of the show. if the surgery fails and day remains blind, then it just feels completely purposeless since he didn't need this to accept his disability and learn that he can still have a fulfilling life: he had already accepted this at songkhla, and it was perfect. honestly the only reason i can think of for them to go down this road is to have the surgery be unsuccessful now, only to end the series with day getting it again after some years and this time working out to show that 'you should never give up hope'. and i can't even begin to explain just how much that wouldn't sit right with me. and i mean i don't have a disability so i obviously don't have any right to say this, but still

not to mention that i actually still feel like those two moments with day and mork crying that we have yet to see are both related to the two of them breaking up because mork doesn't feel like he can take care of day, so they're gonna make him leave until he can prove to day's mom that he can provide for day. which is another thing i would hate

i just don't understand why would they choose all of this when, instead, p'aof could have had mork and day figuring out their future TOGETHER and BOTH trying to prove to day's mom that they can take care of EACH OTHER. like the show made such a point of making day become more independent and empowered but now they're not allowing him to be. i wanna see him walking outside alone with a cane, i wanna see him go back to school and finish his studies, i wanna see him open up his little bookstore while mork works as a cook. it can still happen, i guess, but i still wish it would have been given more focus

im also the kind of dramatic person who can't be like 'at least we have the first 9 episodes, they were perfect and nothing can ruin them'. unfortunately that's not enough for me. unfortunately i need them to stick the landing or it WOULD ruin the entire show for me. and not being able to get back to it and find comfort in morkday would honestly be heartbreaking for me. and you know, obviously the message and the representation of the show is the most important part in this, but also i would be lying if i said i didn't want to have a damn DVD box set of a jimmysea series to actually hold and enjoy since we won't ever have one for vice versa, but what would be the point of buying the last twilight one if i dislike the ending

ANYWAY. im really sorry ismay, i ended up ranting because i needed to vent but im afraid im only making you feel worse with this ;;;;;;; maybe after i sleep on it i will be a bit more optimistic about this but. im really scared too ;;;;;;; for what is worth im holding your hand and im here for you whatever is gonna happen

#none of this is gonna change my love for jimmysea but it still making me feel like such a bad nomnom #sorry again for the negativity i guess i should probably leave for a while ;;;;;;#ismay 🤍#m: ask

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gideongrovel · 3 months

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rambling vent (still on my trip tho, sorry for the inactivity for those who didn't know)

Last full on my trip rn but i am feeling exhausted,,,, 😭😭😭😭 Tomorrow will be heading home,,, thinking about all the airport stuff has me stressed (not the flying part, I like being high up, its just like the security and people stress me),,, 😓

The trip has been fun mostly,,, but not relaxing in the slightest 😓😓😓 Its been nice to see my older brother since we can geek out about OP together in person, and he like gave me some gifts for it,,,,, but without getting into it,,, there are reasons i dont like being around him either,,, so its a mixed bag 🫤 and my dad is such a misogynist and bigot having to hear the shit he says and not being able to leave when he says it is infuriating 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I am such a shut in, and normally leave the house like maybe 5 times a month if even that,,,,, so going out and about for 9 days straight is alot for me- i know thats nothing to most "normal" people,,,,, but for someone in my life/situation it's alot,,,,,,, being around people and being active so much has me drained completely 😓😓😓😓😓 Im feeling such burn out,,,, and I miss my cats (especially my lil baby ET,, she is very codependent towards me so I've been worried how she has been holding up 😢), also since i was scared of them getting broken or stolen on the plane- i didnt bring my Chop or Brook figures and i miss them too!! I need my wife and bf 😭😭😭😭 Not bring my main comfort items was a big mistake,,, but the stress of something happening also was too much- so I couldn't win either way,,,,

I always feel awful when I get this level of burn out / sad feeling on a trip,,,, they're supposed to be a good time but I've held back from crying a few times now,,,, I just wanna be home in my own bed, shower where im familiar with, being able to do stuff on my own pace, just like my regular routine stuff in general 😭😭😭😭 At the same time going back home means having to deal with some family i dislike being around- which I am not looking forward to,,,, 😓😓😓

Burnout sometimes will put me in depressive episodes, and feeling emotional highs my crashing is always bad,,,,,, 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

ALSO I MISS GETTING ON HERE!! IM MISSING SO MUCH NOT BEING ABLE TO CHECK ANYTHING 😭😭😭😭 tumblr crashes too much for me to check anything on my phone,,,, i really hope yall are doing good,,,, like idk if my absence has been noticable or cared about? (/nm) but i do miss yall alot,,, miss seeing your creations and ships 😭😭😭 it will be too much to check 9days worth on everyone pages so i am sorry for everything i missed

But anyways just have to make it though today and the flights tomorrow 😭 then things can go back to normal

#this is incoherent my thoughts are jumping around but this is typed off the dome so sorry about that #my post #also i dont have the energy to read it over so sorry for the typo or any autocorrects that make this hard to read

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thegeminisage · 1 month

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ok ok ok it's star trek update time. last time we watched tng's "liaisons" and ds9's "the circle."

liaisons (tng):

the summary of this one put me off soooo bad but i actually give it an enthusiastic pass because i loved the b plot but conned myself into also liking the a plot. allow me to explain

the b plot of this is of course the fantastic riker e worf e deanna showing the ambassadors a good time on the enterprise. this arc satisfied me from start to finish because it started with riker telling worf he looked good in a dress and finished with worf beating that annoying guy's face in, and in the middle there was also a poker game and whatever the FUCJ was happening in their little meeting room which was extremely fun and flirty

i have not forgotten btw that worf e deanna is supposed to happen in s7. im so sorry the actors hated it but rn it is Fueling me. bring it on.

the a plot is more complicated and the summary of this plot is what initially put me off

like, of Course it's picard and a woman. again.

here's what i didn't know: one, this woman was batshit insane and not to be trusted, and 2, she wasn't real but a fake roleplay character made by this alien. who is a man

THAT MEANS. NOT ONLY DID PICARD FINALLY GET HIS OWN CLOSE ENOUNTER

BUT IT WAS WITH A MAN

picard has canonically kissed a man. or um been kissed by one i guess

and all of that would have been just borderline and barely ekeing out with a pass EXCEPT

i had the thought near the end of this episode: q would be absolutely SICK

as we know. the funniest thing about q and indeed perhaps his only redeeming factor. is how bad he wants to fuck sir patrick stewart. which gets ONLY FUNNIER the more that sir patrick stewart is like, i would fuck literally anyone else in the galaxy first

and now here picard is, having liplocked with another guy, and he STILL hasn't fucked q. i spent so long giggling about this that i simply must give the episode a passing grade

also, i would like to note i figured out they were the same person before the episode told us. i am JUST that good

the circle (ds9):

KIRA MY BELOVED.....................................

absolutely tickled to pieces with the ensemble scene at the opening. first we had this nice little prolonged kira and odo moment 😍 which was so wonderful because of their like general dynamic and history being hinted at and then EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE CAST SAVE SISKO got their sitcom intro. it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. they were like, you simply cannot be dismissing major kira unfairly. so true. once again it is so cathartic to see them rallying around her whether they're federation or not. literally treating her really niceys

AND SISKO! his little scene with her in the garden down on the planet...wah. he's literally constantly trying to get her back. his support even when she's no longer technically working for him...EVERYBODY treats her really niceys

um except that vedek guy...idk whether he's on the level or not and i DID NOT like whatever sexy stuff was going on in that orb vision. putting aside the hilarious reality of orbs in general for a second are the prophets saying she has to fuck that guy? not my beautiful queen.

um and also except the circle. i didnt actually see the plot twist coming this time about that minister guy being in on it which is very fun. also i'm sooo glad they staged a speedy rescue

ODO THE RAT! i love when he turns into stuff

also odo blackmailing quark into being his deputy lol i LOOOOVE what they have it's SO funny

anyway i hope vedek winn chokes on her oatmeal when she finds out the cardassians are funding her little r*n d*santis campaigns. i thought that was a fun plot twist if not very surprising ultimately like of COURSE they are. it's crazy how relevant some of this still is

and on a final note, i like that sisko has chosen to Rules Lawyer his way into disobeying the prime directive because it is the right thing to do here. GOOD FOR HIM!

tonight: tng's "interface" and ds9's "the siege," finally concluding this little three-parter.

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb

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draculagerard · 11 months

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u asked for it so i am HERE to tell u about the netflix tv show never have i ever......except im not going to explain Everything super concisely bc i already have a hard enough time trying 2 explain the complexities of devi vishwakumar when my brain is Actually working but rn i am running on three hours of sleep, an energy drink that partially sprayed out of my nose, and some sour punch straws but i am going to do my best to like. idk explain it. apologies in advance bc this got so long im SO sorry. ANYWAY. never have i ever. its about a first-generation indian american girl named devi and she is like. well. not cool. her n her friends are called the "UN" which they thought meant united nations bc they're all woc but no it means unfuckable nerds. and the person who coined the term unfuckable nerds? one ben gross, aka devi's longstanding academic rival. do u see where this is going yet? great. wonderful. devi spends most of season 1 chasing after this jock paxton (who. we do love. just not with devi.) and imploding all of her personal relationships in an attempt to Not Feel the grief of her father dying. at one point she even tells her mom that she wishes her mom died instead of her dad (ouch, but also, been there). atp devi's friends, the other members of the UN, are taking a "friend break" bc she was. well kind of a bitch. so she moves in w ben (rival) for like a week and then he drives her, unlicensed, to where her mom is spreading her dads ashes and then she goes back up to the car and they go "you stayed" "yeah i just wanrted to make sure you were okay" and then KISS. KISS!!!!!!! but then paxton (jock) also likes her so she dates BOTH of them and then implodes on her and they both break up with her. and then she accidentally spreads a rumor around the school about ben's new girlfriend having an eating disorder which ends up being true. and then paxton (jock) dates her again. and then they break up after like 3 months and ben's new girlfriend (aneesa) also breaks up w ben same day and then ben and devi are like. besties for a bit. devi dates a new guy des who honestly should probably be in a relationship with his own mom instead and then he dumps her bc of his mom and THEN. after all of this. ben jokingly gives devi a "one free boink" card. (was it really a joke ben was it i dont think so!!!!) and. at paxton's graduation he sort of mentions devi but not by name and the narrator (which, i should mention the narrator for devi's inner monologue is american tennis player john mcenroe) says she doesnt get stomach knots!!! but then she and ben share an like an intimate moment in the hall and mcenroe says "there's the stomach knots" like!!!!! and THEN later that night!!!!! she goes to ben's house!!!!!!1 and redeems the one free boink card CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!! and thats where season 3 ends....

season 4 comes out in THREE DAYS and weve gotten SOOOO many spoilers for the first two episodes which (if anyone who watches never have i ever is still reading this and doesnt want spoilers please sotp reading) we find out that ben and devi DID boink and that they both thought iut was like?? bad foir the other person??? and ben just didnt know what to say so he asked if she needed him to call an uber like ben WHAT. as rae @ice-sculptures put it "can you believe that ben gross not knowing what to say after fucking led to the whole spiral of miscommunication lmfao" like they just DONT TALK devi tries to ask if he wanted to get coffee and he says NO because a basketball player at the gym told ben that devi wasnt serious about him because she put a period in the text or somethjing?? so instead he goes and dates this girl from art class margot and devi sees ben with her on the first day of school and gets. well upset. and then someone spray paints "STUPID BITCH" on devi's car and of course she thinks its margot!!!! (but shhhh it wasnt....it was actually this kid ethan....more on him later) and then like other stff happens im not super clear about that but basically at some point ben tells devi that margot doesnt want ben talking to devi anymore :( i dont rlly know much else past that i think thats where s4e2 ends??? but we do know that devi ends up DATING that ethan kid at some point but. sooo many things point to ben/devi endgame esp bc her other main love interest (paxton, the jock) is now STAFF at their high school so like?? i dont think they're going that route but im just. dsjfkhjsad SO EXCITED except i cannot watch s4 the day it comes out bc i will be seeing waterparks which. im so excitred for but also WHYYY do they have to be on the same day

i feel like i didnt explain this very well and left out a lot of like pivotal ben/devi moments but im sitting here jus.t typing and not rereading any of this im. So sorry that this is as long as it is jkhsddfsd thank u for reading this and. if u didnt read it i dont blame u szdkjhdfsakd

WOW OKAY HOLY FUCK A LOT GOING ON THERE HUH????? HELLO.

Okay okay key notes:

I already like Devi and I haven't even watched the show.

WHAT THE FUCK IS BEN DOING HELLOOOO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM DSFJJFD

by boink im assuming it means fuck right. cause like i've never euphemism in my life

THEY END S3 LIKE THAT ?? FWERLJW

oh LORD devi's complex relationship with her mom okay i hear it

bro the miscommunication sounds SOOO bad... like they cannot communicate properly even once huh 😭

devi ends up dating WHO now???? first the guy who gave them the name un and then the stupid bitch dude?? HELP....

IT COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS??? oh shit good luck??!!

OMG youre gonna go to a Waterparks show????? have fun holy shit

anyways are you kidding ofc i read the whole thing i NEED media rants rn

#moose asks #spencer

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alloutofgoddesses · 3 months

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PJO TV Thoughts

S1,E6

(There will be book mentions/spoilers)

Can’t lie to y’all im on my second week of this semester and already just so eepy

Okay the first line does tell you exactly what’s happening in this dream but I was so confused by it being Percy’s headmaster from Yancy

Anyway omg I swear you can see Luke in the reflection like it’s gonna be so obvious it’s not Clarisse on rewatches

WE GOT “Little Hero”

Cracker Barrel! What o would give to eat at a Restaurant rn

A SECOND SEAWEED BRAIN HAS HIT THE PERCABETH TOWERS

(I am aware others have made that joke)

Omg hi Luke

Good not being sus Luke

ARREST HER?!?! Percy wtf

Luke I’m positive you would know what Ares is like

OOP if Luke picks up on it IMMEDIATELY…

The episode is titled “A Zebra Takes Us To Vegas” AND WE INLY GET A SECOND OF A ZEBRA ON SCREEN?!?!

Anybody else see the Geia fashion billboard or just me

Way to be obvious about it

“I had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm/where the music don’t stop for life” I think that Levitating was chosen WITH INTENTION for these lyrics only

ODYSSEY MENTION

Graphic novels do count

ODYSSEUS MENTION

Oh besties… the lotus eaters have upgraded darlings

WISE GIRL WISE GIRL WEE WOO WEE WOO IT’S HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

The fact that they haven’t shown Grover eating garbage yet… cowards. COWARDS.

I do think that them knowing takes tension out of it but they think that it’s okay unless they eat something

CASTELLAN LORE ALREADY

A Saytr?? I’m saying that TV screen image is a sun so APOLLO MENTION

A gay satyr?!!! The subtext

Oh? I’m compelled certainly what kind of magic does the Lotus have to convince satyrs Pan is there

DREAM TALK

Like you can see extras wearing dated clothes but it’s just not the same

Also I’m waiting for others to find the di Angelos, I know I’m not gonna be able to find anything

(If they cut it out I will lose it)

Are the employees also under the spell? I would have to assume so

Uh oh Grover is forgetting

HE’S HERE

The way his face fell… I’m afraid LMM is eating as Hermes

BTW I saw someone say LMM was a bad choice as Hermes because canonically Hermes has the most children and they don’t think LMM is sexy enough for that… girlie do you not remember what happened when Hamilton came out be SO FOR REAL

At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to seperate actor from character but he’s doing such a good job that’s Hermes I’m sorry (no I’m not)

ORPHEUS MENTION (I’ve helped others [get into the Underworld] before)

Are the fields Italy? Once again folks I’m not gonna be able to find it so I’m reaching out to

Someone looks back I’m guessing

Oh babey the lore the tension

HEY WHAT WAS THAT

My guess is something to do with Gabe or as one brilliant Twitter user said, Percy’s first time at boarding school

YEAH ANNABETH MOVE BABY YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT

(Also how the fuck can Hermes do that)

Sure buddy see you next season

“This was all just a waste of time. We don’t have time to waste.” Oh Annabeth I’m so sorry for what you’re about to learn

I love all the helmets and stuff really lets you know what’s going on

Oh noooooo oh boy oh buddy oh wow that hurt

Sorry he’s making Hermes feel so empathetic which is exactly how he is in the books. He’s good!

OOP

Were those the di Angelos? They were brunette and small (still reaching)

Oh so that’s why they mentioned days earlier I see

HIS KEYS?

Are George and Martha on there are they wondering what’s happening

CENTRAL AIR BABEY

Oh no Percy’s forgetting too

Just rip him out and leave besties

Oh geez they’re never leaving at this rate

Damn there’s that fatal flaw again Percy

RIP Grover playing a human hunter game I will never forget you

Annabeth it was good it really was but you’re right. He is the god of thieves.

Oh boy now we know why they let him drive though

Me when I first started learning how to drive standard

Just in case you forgot Percy is a New Yorker

Oh NO bestie got distracted looking at the princess (his words not mine though I agree) next to him

NO DON’T TURN OFF THE LIGHT I WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING

What did I just say. What is happening on screen

Oh boyyyyyy

He’s just three apples tall

Oh it’s so much worse underwater

SEAWEED HAIR

Wait… were AFTER the summer solstice? WHY

Exactly Percy you gotta finish it

YEEAHHHHHHH

Four?!?! What about ‘you will fail to save what matters most in the end?’ He better lose one I stg

Next ep trailer

Okay so who’s eye is in the credits what do we think

Crusty’s!

Desert and terrible forest?

Okay yeah he definitely loses one or uses one to trick someone or something he said said “you guys leave with my mom”

Oh wait what if he uses it on Crusty… Disney let Percy actually be violent

SWORD FIGHT NEXT EP? At least the beginning

HOLD FAST MOM OHHHHHHHHH OUCH

BONUS: Hermes in cat form

#if you scroll to the end there’s a surprise :)#it’s not spoilers I promise it’s just a cute pie #PJO tv #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians

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literaphobe · 1 year

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I am sorry to disturb you but sometimes I stay up at night, lying awake in my bed at 3am, staring up at the ceiling as I think about how they did ladynoir dirty and I wanted to talk to someone who understands 😭😭😭

Like let adriennette happen. Let it happen. BUT AT LEAST LET THE GHOST OF LADYNOIR HAUNT THEM. Let it be a question mark. A brushed away thought. An untapped yearning. Don’t give us one tsukuyomi episode and then act as if that wiped the slate of four seasons of a situationship cleannnn 😭😭😭😭

I just feel so cheated. That season 4 finale. THE SEASON 5 POSTER. We were so sure and then we we were left with our hands empty empty empty

HI OMG!!! first of all PLEASE do not apologize because i seriously love love LOVE getting asks and i LOVE talking about ladynoir

secondly yes most of my free time is spent working on my ladynoir fic and when im on tiktok i see ladynoir edits and i am simultaneously so sad and so happy all the time. ALSO YEAH. like um i guess i get why they can't lean too heavy into ladynoir bc they are SO chemistry and we can't make them look like they're cheating on themselves but i MISS THEM and i want to see them so bad all the time. stanning ladynoir in s5 is like being obsessed w that one random side character and screaming crying throwing up when u see them show up on screen like YASSSS GO BABY GIRLS!

anyway i have decided to cope by being extremely delusional and overreading into every little thing ladynoir related on the show. and also overattributing value to every tiny interaction they have

i think ultimately no matter what we have to remember that ladynoir STILL has a romantic history and chat noir and ladybug did not fall in love with each other for no reason!! think of them rn as two people who almost dated and are now trying to be really chill and cool about the fact that they VERY RECENTLY got very uber sad and pissed about getting tricked into thinking they got married and had a family together AND now um boom suddenly they're both dating other people and its totally awesome and fun and they're not in a strange ambiguous situation anymore and now they have to NOT accidentally brush hands when theyre on patrol and this is a normal thing to think about

re the whole ladynoir arc and how things will play out I GENUINELY THINK adrienette will break up at some point bc this show IS like the drama show and it has a minimum of 3 more seasons left AND the love square is never be stable for long and ifl that will always be the message pre-reveal. like if u have 2 identities each that all constantly interact (ladynoir and adrienette) u will always eventually feel conflicted between both identities bc that's how perfect u r for each other! the whole point is that a reveal would eventually solve everything and thats why pre-reveal love square is always doomed. i love suffering btw. ANYWAY adrienette rn is interesting bc they're getting closer but also facing problems at the same time and i think their time as a couple will make them so very interesting like. as exes. SORRY im not preying on their downfall I HAVE ADRIENETTE VISIONS TOO and i think exes adrienette who r more comfortable w each other should have a fight someday where its v obvious they still want each other but idk theres like problems abound and shit. WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN <- crazy person

tldr i think the ghost of ladynoir will haunt them soon!! hopefully!! in the meantime lets be unnecessarily delusional!!!!!!!!! also lets talk about ladynoir all the time i always understand bro

#ask #ladynoir #mlbposting #i think i am not main tagging this just in case #IM NOT A HATER I LOVE ADRIENETTE #but some people get mad at the thought of an adrienette break up #even tho this is the Messy Show and its not like they wont have feelings anymore...........#intuition spoilers #i was referring to the scene at the end so .#just in case.......#ALSO THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY #HOPE U LIKE LONG UNNECESSARY RAMBLING

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whim-prone-pirate · 1 year

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WATCHING AND DREAMING LIVEBLOG ??????? UPDATING AS I WATCH☹️☹️☹️☹️

8:23 who up watching the end of phineas and ferb the mvoie rn

8:25 WHY ARE WE WATCHING AN EDIT OF THE SHOW BEFOFE THE EPISODE WHATS HAPPENING😭😭

8:26 ........archives WOAH SCARY FACE

8:27 oh my god color pallets i'm gonna be sick

8:28 LUMITY ANGST ???? IN HER DREAM ?????? WHAT THE FUCK ?1??1???1?

8:29 oh em gee not lilith's died hair again

8:29 FATHER CLAWTHORNE NO

8:29 EWWWEWEWEWEW☹️☹️☹️

8:30 please do not the luz

8:31 luz blames herself for flapjack💔💔💔💔

8:32 hehe face hold

8:34 REUNION !!!!!!!!

8:34 ray ray im going to kill myself

8:37 GET IT RAINE

8:39 not precariously stacked jenga!!! no !!!!!

8:40 I SAID THEY WOULD NEVER USE THEY/THEM FOR THE COLLECTOR IN CANON AND THEY DID IM SORRH I DOUBTED YOU DANA AND CREW IM SOREY

8:44 ok i got distracted with a different fandom thing where are they

8:46 collector playing grudgby is real

8:46 NOW THATS A SPIN-OFF I'D WATCH

8:47 oh no!!!!!!!!!!

8:48 bros participating in eugenics

8:48 "how'd he get here without a body" most normal toh problem

8:49 oh collector my bug😭😭😭

8:49 FUCKING HELL OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD HER HAT LUZ STOP IT !!!!!!!!!

8:50 kmskmskmskmskmskms

8:50 jaw on the floor she's dissipating

8:51 he csnt fix her😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 NO SHE ISNT !!!!! SHE IS NOT !!!!!!!!!!

8:52 oh😭😭😭😭😭 my😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 god😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 I SHOULD HAVE THANKED THEM

8:53 TITAN ????? HAII

8:53 I AM BOTH KING AND QUEEN BEST OF BOTH THINGS :o)

8:54 watching. and dreaming. watching ..

8:54 where did he get a bad girl coven shirt

8:54 this is what modern leftist political conversations sound like

8:55 it's giving lich

8:56 big fan !!!

8:56 what'd he say what's he SAY WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME HERE

8:56 CAMILAAAA !!!!

8:58 "please stop run away" * i am feeling burdened and i taste milk i mumble please please run away but it lives where i live

8:59 WHAAAAAAAT

8:59 SHE HAS FANGS SHE'S TOO COOL

9:00 did i miss something why are they mossydiseased like luz

9:01 i'm too tired for fight scenes rn

9:03 oh my god the titan's hand looks so cool

9:03 RAINE NOT BEINT ABLE TO SEE LMFAOOO

9:04 oh my god she put their glasses on for them

9:04 their hair looks so good🤭🤭

9:05 that fight was not as drawn out as it deserved to be but that is not dana + co's fault💔💔💔💔

9:06 collector💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:06 here's how gustholomule can still win

9:07 we have thirteen minutes for canon raeda and huntlow and gustholomule AND another lumity kiss. no pressure tho

9:07 oh god her look is so dark she's. wow

9:07 she doesn't have to be naive to the people who want to hurt her anymore. a win.

9:08 BYE TITAN ILYY

9:09 I LOAF YOU :)))))))))

9:09 so the next eleven minutes are domestic bliss????? yeah??????

9:10 steve moment!!

9:10 GUS AND DAD REUNITE !!!!

9:10 WILLOW AND DADS REUNITE !!!!!!!!!!

9:10 DARIUS ASKING ABOUT HIS SHIRT OH MY GOD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:11 bump cut your hair ..🙁

9:11 cute boscha moment sobs

9:11 darius protects the isles from absolute bitches and whores (real)

9:12 the guards!!

9:12 RAEDA CUDDLES

9:12 LUMITY KISS I TOLD YOU

9:12 NOCEDACLAWTHORNE HUG😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:13 see you in the stars bug😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:13 sorry i'm ruining my own like

9:13 SHE CANT USE HER GLYPHS ??????????????????????

9:14 oh my god what's happening

9:15 I KNEW HER NARRATION SOUNDED OLDER HER FIT IS SO GOOD

9:15 oh my god THEY LIVE IN THE HOUSE

9:15 willow short hair<3

9:16 flapjack.

9:16 lilith looks so good and matt's stache hasn't grown at all

9:16 AMITY ????????????? LOSES MY MIND

9:17 bump gardener era

9:17 coven removal so real

9:17 ok what was THAT little moment with aladarius

9:18 raeda is def married right like for sure i need to make sure i didn't miss a ring or anything

9:18 GUS LOOKS SO GOOOOOD

9:18 HEADMASTER EDALYN CLAWTHORNE

9:19 oh my god does she have a tattoo

9:19 SHE GETS A QUINCE OH MY FUCKING GODBOH MY FOD OH KY FOD

9:20 LIGHT. LIGHT GLYPH !!!!

9:20 SHE TOKD THEM THANK YOU☹️☹️☹️☹️

9:21 by.3😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:21 do you think she's gonna play one more song. she's. she's gonna come back— NO SHES GONNA COME BACK😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 /ref

#watching and dreaming #the owl house #liveblog #wad liveblog #toh liveblog

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rawrtriesagain · 1 year

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Long post incoming idk how to do Read More on mobile, sorry. Tldr: just a post abt my writing as usual and stuff about my interest in lwa (nothing crazy)

I know I talk abt my old fuckin fics all the fuckin time (like Jesus theyre old enough to be considered toddlers now) but anyway this is my vent blog and y’all will never hear the end of it so guess what still has an absolute GRIP over my mind after 3 years

Its forest of arcan- im jk its dreamer of stars lmaooo. I reread it right now for the funsies after months of forgetting abt it, and each time I read it I think “surely I am over this story and can move on with my life” and like the first half of the story its like yea I kinda am over it haha but then the second half just obliterates the thoughts and runs me over and I just lay in my bed and contemplate my life and go into like a State of Emotions and simply have to talk about it (but it also could be because its 4am at the time of writing this)

I do think it mostly has to do with nostalgia though. Truthfully I’m probably not able to write smth like that again because it was 100% written completely on emotion and quite actually everything bad Diana was feeling in the story was smth i was also going through so it was easy to… write a vent and disguise it as a fic LOL. But I was also running on the high of being in love with my best friend which also really easily translated to everything going on in the fic blah blah nobody remembers it but me so this means nothing to anybody and im being cringe and gay on main (not even my main)

ANYWAY the point of my babbling here is that honestly I miss having that intense amt of emotions that would spur that level of creative writing? Like yea forest of arcana (not updated in over a year) is fun and all but it definitely isnt written on a personal level like dreamer was. I also just genuinely miss writing lol and its like ok bitch why dont you write then and then its like good question why dont i?? I probably still enjoy writing more than i do drawing and i know my blogs say otherwise but the two mediums are both definitely different outlets for my life. Maybe i would change my mind the day my art is actually good tho 😛

Im laffing rn seeing me talk abt this “deep” different outlets of life cause like when u think abt it im also literally just Currently describing little witch fanfic and fanart since thats all i do LOL. Not that theres anything wrong with lwa being my Muse of course, but it just adds humor in whatever the emo hell im going on about

Another side sad mini vent but i dont think im as into lwa as i used to be which also waters down my interests in doing things, but im literally not interested in any other media or fandom rn either so lwa stays my hyperfixation. Plz dont be alarmed lol im not saying im NOT into lwa anymore since diana is still a fuckin god to me like 10/10 chara design and vibes, but its definitely not as strong as it was when i first joined the fandom 3 years ago. And you know what maybe it has to do with me not watching little witch academia in full in those entire three years after i first watched it lmao. Most of the friends ive made in the fandom are pretty much gone too which is sad but is what it is. Sometimes i get a burst of seratonin when i think about smth diakko and definitely like now when i reread my fics i also remember the Emotions i had for these Gays and it like floods back for a bit like a buff.

I think something im very interested in for both the spark of writing and also the revitalization for my love for diakko is that i wanna do like a oneshot slice of life series for diakko. Just something easy, cute, subjectively funny, and a vibe. I still fantasize abt diakko shenanigans even if mundane and i wish i could also capture it more in my art but im not at that level yet, so writing it is. First i probably need to rewatch lwa in full since ive forgotten most everything except for key diana scenes haha oopsie And sucy world episode that was a good fuckin episode.

Anyway thanks for reading this far if you did lol sorry for the LONG ASS NONSENSE POST. Sometimes i see how i type in my blog and to people and compare it to my writing and its like where the hell did my comprehensive english go. Sorry if this was just hard to read from the lack of grammar and punctuation but thats showbiz anyway stay tuned for the next diana content ttyl bffl rofl xD zomg

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iristhedeadflower · 1 year

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violetta season two: final thoughts

hiiiiiii. so. season two is over huh. damn. what the hell!!!! this feels like the end of an era. i started s2 in march and finished just the other day which...i think doesn't reflect well enough just how much i think this is technically the best season of the show. the plotlines are powerful, the characters go through real growth and are interesting, and it's actually unpredictable! there are plot twists, people! so. lets go through it like we did the first time: storylines, characters, ships, songs. you ready? i sure am(n't)

storylines

alright, so, let's get this out of the way: this season's villains are easily among the most multifaceted characters of the series. there is no "big baddie", in my opinion everything feels very real. the conflicts are human and the choices the characters make (not all the characters but we'll get there) feel grounded and sensical to their development. so much so that when you take these season's new villains (diego, esmeralda) and compare them to the regular s1 ones (ludmila, jade) you definitely feel that...you're watching a show that is growing up with its audience, you know? like you KNOW how much i love my girls but there's a tone shift there that is hard not to notice. despite all the new cast introductions and just how much we are working with, the season never feels particularly stuffy, and for one reason or another i found myself enjoying most of the plotlines. my glaring, impossible to ignore issue was with the jeremias storyline. it completely ruined that middle of the season and i didn't feel the desire to continue watching as much because of it. fortunately i stuck through it once and i can do it again, still...mid-season 2 is not exactly my favourite. despite this, first and last 15-20 episodes? i love them sm. the first ones bc the campiness of s1 gradually shifts into something else (and im not here saying s2 isn't campy but, you get me) and it has some absolutely stellar episodes in my opinion (the sleepover? fran's birthday???? though i think that's further than first 20 but we'll let it slide). and the last ones just bc i love the conclusions this season has for the characters: gregorio and diego, violetta and struggling to find her love for music again, ludmila and the weight of her actions starting to weigh down on her...it's (you guessed it!) a lot for my little heart!!!

(just bc i want to mention it, the racism plotlines were really not it though. the Chinese restaurant was in no way, shape or form influential to the plot so completely unnecessary stereotypes. and well, we all know why the esmeralda/german wedding was edited so. awful awful awful, but still, we should acknowledge it exists as much as it sucks. yikes.)

characters

last time i didnt properly introduce this, but i think with such a big ensemble we should divide the characters into three categories: hall of fame (my besties, my best friends, the yassiests), hall of shame (disappear off the face of the earth immediately or face my wrath rn), and in memoriam (one time thing, but we love you anyway). characters i don't mention are just the ones i have nothing to say about.

onto the hall of fame!

vilu stays a likeable and real main character once more. like im sorry i do not get the s1-2 vilu hate she is literally the main character???? like do you want the plot to just stay stale forever??? of course she's gonna make questionable choices! what are we even talking about. but my baby goes through SO MUCH this season, from angie to german to diego one right after the other like it was getting capital b Bad for my capital b Bestie there and im so so glad she found herself again in the end. her growth is so admirable, so much so that then s3 happens and everyone's like ???? but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

i have previously mentioned how i thought fran didn't get to shine properly in s1 due to a certain annoying whiny pissbaby nobody misses, but HELLO????? s2 opens the door for a much funnier, smarter and, let's face it, better character. i LOVE fran, she's one of my favourite characters! she gets her boytoy this season and it's what she deserves!!! and i love the fact that she canonically gets recognition from people around her for her voice because. HELLO. HER VOICE. ma'am i am completely head over heels for you. my Italian sister i ALWAYS said that

cami stays in this section. no need to explain why. i am so mad she gets so screwed over in the love department, but she is so so funny and the traffic light book was so 😭😭😭 when i stop and think about it realistically, i am probably personality-wise the most like cami, so i love to see that unhinged chaos...makes me feel represented yknow. well. i mean.

if we're talking chaos. let's open up this discussion. is ludmila ok? do we as a society need to create a trust fund to get this girl to therapy? probably. does she remain the most entertaining, off-the-rails, pathetic little bitch of the series? like why are you even asking me that. i said it in my s1 post, ill say it here: you can't like violetta as a show and not like ludmila. unfortunately she gets shot directly into your DNA and you cannot possibly escape from her. no matter how much you try. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY. i need this girl's confidence. i need her mentality in life cause this girl is always so sure she is the smartest in the room and it cannot be further from the truth and im sorry it is SO SO funny help. s3 is a rollercoaster for her so i am glad she's getting some rest rn. she'll need it.

speaking of characters you can't not like, naty remains my skrunkly ever. my babygirl. my little baby. i love her in ways the human mind will never understand. i want her to destroy me. she's in her emancipation era and i am cheering from the sidelines. she is MY hero. she is MY queen. she gave me the finest jealousy plotline she could. she gave me that damn drums scene and...lord have mercy on my soul. the best. THE best

leon, you, my man, are a powerful bitch. you are THAT bitch and you know it. iconic, spectacular, not ever been done before. he is the bi representation we always deserved. he is currently raising all of your standards and doing it flawlessly. nothing else to say. stay totally mental for us

and diego complements that perfectly. he is the insufferable bitch to leon’s irritability and he is unstoppable and he is a menace to society and i hate him and he is a lot but like. he is OUR trash raccoon yknow. like he is the worst but we collectively decided to leave food out the door so he doesn’t have to keep ravaging our bins. you get what i mean.

marco is here everyone clap!!!! pathetic meow meow!! this boy is wonderful he is corny as all hell but he is so sweet. and i love him dearly. i love this for us as a society we needed a marco i think.

angie…now i’m going to say something controversial yet brave cause you KNOW i love angie so so much…but i think she should’ve stayed in france THERE I SAID IT. i’ll come back to this when i get to it in s3 but i really don’t like how after a while her plot is only exclusively jeremias/german related. with the decision to leave her life behind (and with that the toxic mindset that was keeping her trapped) the fact that she comes back in s3 and goes down THAT route again...is just very sad to me. i think she should've maybe come back for a few episodes in s3, slay the house down and put german in his place as she always does, and then keep living her best life in France.

jade has done NOTHING WRONG EVER. NOTHING WRONG EVER!!!!!! SAY IT WITH ME NOTHING. WRONG. EVER. good, let's move on.

gregorio gets the most memorable arc in the shape of a mid-life crisis that culminates in somehow becoming the best dad in the series. and we love to see it! my absolute beloved and once again, rodrigo pereira gives his most and i can only watch in awe. i don't trust people who don't like gregorio it has to be said.

parodi i am so sorry. i am so so sorry. you have no idea how sorry i am. i guess it happens to the best of us.

antonio is as always the only sane man in a world of crazy people. iirc at a certain point someone tells him (maybe dufre but im not sure) that he should open a whole new studio with new teachers and he's like. ABSOLUTELY NOT THIS IS MY CIRCUS!!! antonio my absolute beloved i am treasuring all the time I've got left with you because i love you so so much

and to no one's surprise, my favourite stays and will stay my queen, my legend, my moment, miss lena vidal. everyone clap for lena. she gets her 3-4 fun little episodes, brings the house down with her vocals, reads EVERYONE to filth and just leaves again. the MVP. THE MVP!!!!!

and now, the hall of shame. but like it's always the same three men so.

german has no excuse to do the shit he does this season. and you'd think after the jeremias fiasco he like, chills down and learns from his mistakes?? absolutely not, he makes scenes in front of HER DAUGHTER'S CLASSMATES bc she won a contest and is travelling to another country. he wants to hire a BODYGUARD???? WTF???? unforgivable piece of garbage who needs to get as far from his daughter as humanly possible. your little piano moment won't work with me old man! you are a menace to society!!! get help!!!!!

i think we all agree with the fact that we should lock matias in a jail cell and lose the key. gaslighter gatekeeper manipulator mansplainer. AND HE GETS A HOT GIRLFRIEND????? UNDESERVEDDDDDD.

it's not marotti's worst season but i am a marotti hater so he should be included here. what are you gonna do, sue me? make me sign an NDA?

unfortunately pablo has to be moved to this section for this season. he is insufferable and rude and uncaring towards the people who need him the most and does absolutely nothing to fix or recognise his mistakes??? he gets a little better in the end but he is so nonsensical and suchhh a hypocrite. wdym angie can't leave because of family emergencies but jeremias can come and go as he pleases???? ASS!

dufre irritates me so im putting him here too

in memoriam of my sweet princesses:

lara, you were just a cool little mechanic. got swept up in probably the messiest couple drama of buenos aires and we respect you so much for leaving we really do, you deserve the world. esmeralda, MY GOD WHAT A SMART AND LAYERED CHARACTER. i am unapologetically in love with you. you were not campy enough to survive the season i fear. still waiting for your epic revenge plan against the lafontaines, i would love to see it. i so so wish we had an update on you- i wish you and your messy iPad kid the best. and jackie...you did not deserve s2 pablo i am so sorry. in the end, you probably only wanted the best for your uncle. were you still unnecessarily mean at times? yeah but i mean, you looked hot during it so. ok but for real i don't like how they just get rid of her character because they clearly had no idea what to do with her anymore, and she gets to be the "crazy girlfriend" when she had every right to be doubtful of pablo's relationship with angie!!!! jackie i see you i understand you and i love you. we'll meet again some sunny day but PLEASE stop doing that weird jump dance move it haunts my nightmares i swear. ana, every day i remember you're not a fever dream i have to stop and think about it. you, YOU are the undisputed chaos god.

ships

let's as always start with canon (as in happened during the season), and then non-canon (it was real TO ME).

leonetta remain as always THE canon ship for me. as much as i can not enjoy or care for side ships and endgames, leonetta always always set the standard and my god......the lengths these two will go to for each other is impressive yall. impressive. they're everything. and once again, im enjoying them before s3 comes and destroys them again.

also dieletta is there! it's a ship i enjoy exactly with what it is: it has its sweet moments but...diego was the antagonist of the season. that was the whole point. they have an interesting run and they ARE cute but the way they break it off it's pretty much impossible for me to imagine them ever working together in a romantic environment again. am i explaining myself correctly? probably not. whatever, you get it.

on the note of enjoying a ship for what it is, leonara had a good run too. i felt even more with my rewatch that lara knows that leon's heart is never truly in it, though, and that makes me feel so sad for her. she truly deserves better - not in the sense that leon wasn't a good boyfriend for her, simply because she doesn't deserve to be plunged in the middle of the messiest exes to lovers plotline ever.

marcesca i enjoy even only because fran gets someone GOOD who loves her and her only. but they're cute too so i actually enjoy them a lot. HE LEARNED ITALIAN FOR HER. HE FLEW TO MADRID FOR HER. omg their HUGSSSSS. you two will always have a special place in my heart.

fuck it, i'll say it: late brodmila s2 rights!!! those last few episodes with their over-the-top antics, from the "let's pretend we don't know each other" act to the trials (?????) to them just finally accepting how they're so different but similar at the same time??? AND THAT HUG AT THE END???? im not ready to talk about it actually its a lot. i found myself liking cami/seba in this rewatch, too, but the way they conclude that storyline absolutely sucks and though i do not enjoy s3 brodmila in my head i pretend everything is alright at the moment. once again, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

naxi are once again really cute! good for them happy for them! i won't go too much into it just cause i don't wanna start anything, but i don't really like their back and forth at the end of the season and how maxi goes from trusting to not trusting her one ep to the other. still. good for them happy for them.

fedemila are also really cute! i think i realised my problem with them is just that i don't like nor care for fede as a character very much 😭 he does a lot and is SO nice and supportive and we thank him for his service but idk. i tried really hard this time around but i still am completely neutral about him. sorry to this man. thank you for giving us the binary star metaphors though, that was absolutely epic of you. ludmila was READY right there in the fish tank i still find that so funny

and hey. let me mourn caxi for a second. i am the self proclaimed number one caxi enjoyer and i like to live in my little bubble of whatifs. they were something don't you think so. roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool. and if my wishes came true.........it would've been caxi endgame OR AT LEAST A BETTER STORYLINE. DO IT PROPERLY OR DONT DO IT AT ALL!!!!!

german and matias ships deserve absolutely no rights and thus i won't speak about them. on the same note, pablo/jackie too. im sorry, she deserved better.

onto the non-canon and hey, i know what you're here for.

nothing else to say. NEXT!

s2 is referred as THE franletta season and damn it you are all so right for that. the babygirls. the besties. they love each other so, so much. the Italy storyline was A LOT. fran couldn't bear thinking of her life without vilu AND VILU DID EVERYTHING TO KEEP FRAN WITH HER AND FRAN CAME TO HER FIRST WHEN SHE KNEW SHE WAS STAYING!!!!! they're wonderful. they're magical. they're perfect and they're holding hands rn

oh, have to mention: fran/ana? i am intrigued. i would like to see it. the vision has opened itself to me and i am visioning it. we shall see.

cadmila gave me a lot this season and i have to thank them anyway cause they're always on my mind for one reason or another but shh. let's all pretend they hate each other and didn't make out on stage during 2x80 si es por amor (which we very conveniently didn't get to see. hmm.)

shoutout to the biest couple ever dieleon. OHO, BISEXUALITY WON INDEED. it's about the touches, the nods, the tension, the stares, and no one told you to get that close to each other yknow. but that's your thing you do you kings.

jadangie have little to no interaction this season but hey, if us jadangie truthers had to go off of canon interactions only we would be nowhere right now. however, shoutout to the greats of this season! jadesmeralda (who i love love love and think of constantly) and angie/jackie (hard to keep in mind that they're not canonically exes). and also, because i thoroughly enjoy jade stealing the toxic men in her life's women, jarodi. it was good for me as a jade enjoyer this season.

songs

i must've said it a million times by now but it begs repeating: season 2 is, UNDOUBTEDLY, the best season music-wise. i LOVE these songs to bits. not even close. but let me illustrate this in a tier list because my feelings are many and my braincells are few. (please not that even the ones i put at the bottom i still love lol yes the season is that good)

in conclusion: season two is one hell of a season. i knew i was gonna have my fun with it and aside from a couple of issues i definitely did. and i hope you had your fun too following along! just to put things in perspective, i have around 580 posts tagged for s1 and nearly 1k for s2 💀 and oh my friends, my friends...imagine how s3 will be for me. im looking forward to it in the way that im going to be completely insane over it, and i mean it. COMPLETELY.

but for now, this is iris violetta s2: electric boogaloo, signing off 🫡

#iris violetta s2: electric boogaloo #my god. the end of an era #you are NOT ready for my s3 hashtag #but i dont think i am either #thank you for following me through these dark times #hope i made you smile :)#see you soon #with the real last s2 post #and then ill be gone for a bit #AND THEN THE S3 FUN WILL COMMENCE #violetta

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art-i-know-yes · 1 year

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AHHHHHHHHHHH SPOILERS FOR LIMITED LIFE

got the notification during lunch. stimming uncontrollably. crying.

this is tango's view im watching. i'll be watching Tango, Jimmy, Grian, Martyn, maybe Scott, maybe BigB

TWENTY FOUR HOURS

SCOTT WAS BOOGEY AND HES QUICK WITH IT

ANOTHER BOOGEY

SKIZZ HAS ALREADY LOST 2 HOURS

BDUBS OMG

"WHERE IS THE SUSPENSE"

so what it's 2 per episode

I HAVE A TEST BUT I'LL BE BACK

SCARRRRR

I think I'm about to have like a stim attack or smth. my teeth are chittering

HE ADDED ANOTHER

IM GOING TO GO FAIL MY TEST BYE

im actively ignoring school work

ah Tango noises

ohhh scar and bdubs

love the groups so far

skizz noises

ohhh scar's pitching

ETHO in the nether

"like the we!"

JIMMY AND JOEL BAD BOIS

BREAKING THE #1 RULE

"I only killed Skizz!" "ONLY?!"

"you replaced me with a cow etho!" :0 boat boys ref!

Grian's got diamonds

"sorry rancher!" AHHHHHHH

don't be burny. plz.

Tango influencing speech

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HIM

"can we do better"

etho hiding stuff immediately

CLEO DEATH

constantly losing cows

tempting death

impulse and skizz

skizz is not ok

WOOOO

tango's got text on the screen. which makes me feel like 'this tool will come in handy later'

and two out of three statements come true

oooooo and impulse

skizz's third hour gone

"their death cry!"

everyone is so much more careless

MARTYN

you know who was better at keeping cows alive? no no im totally over it

*gets redstone* "alright i'm going to put the sugarcane down"

WHO'S BOMBED YOU

all of them against the walls immediately

"no one's allowed in" "top security"

"no I locked my door"

Big B death and Martyn boogey

ditched the cave then

the door

of course the clock

YEAH

"explosion?" "i didn't hear anything"

all great things to the homewreckers

IMPULSE. GIVES. HIM. THE. CLOCK. AGAIN.

*starts choking*

AN AMPHITHEATER???

you've killed all the cows

"im okay with chickens" in the most dead inside voice

you know who else had a chicken hole. IM OVER IT.

was i ever on main about how normal i am about the ranchers

why are you making a mob farm

you wanna die again skizz???

lmao let's ignore the tornado warning at my school rn

"Well he's the smart one"

"we're building YOU this season"

anyway im so normal and ok and im normal-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and I don't know if these are the correct tags . i did them as soon as the video came out so.

#you could and should absolutely ignore this #mcyt #life series #life series spoilers #limited life tango #limited life #limited life spoilers #tangotek #trafficblr

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doodleybugg · 1 year

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i. apologize for the inactivity guys. i had a rlly bad episode recently and although im back rn i can't promise how long i'll stay JDBDHD

ANYWAYS how about we have a little update? (triggering topics such as sh, ed, etc descriptions will be in red, bold text! i'll try to keep most of the negative stuff at the bottom but no promises :/)

so i forget how long i've been gone exactly, i remember logging in some rare occasions to like and reblog a couple posts but otherwise i've been extremely M.I.A (pun very much intended) and honestly that's been a bit stressful for me.

i've had a LOT of drama in classes. yeah that's right, ya girls in uni now! and i am failing SO BAD. it's rlly hard going to school everyday, like i hate it i just wanna go back to working at a shopping mall or smth lol. but hey the map of my cities kinda set up well, being the uni is right next to a lake, and on the other side is a parking lot w mcds, circle k, chatime, etc. and next to the parking lot, like legitimately across the street, is my house. i moved back in with my mom cuz rent was getting too steep, and honestly id rather be on the streets lol

probably the biggest update ihave; i'm a did system. i got the diagnosis early december, and with a shit ton of research and help from friends who have the disorder because the doctors are no help, i'm getting comfy with the label.

if you're not sure what did (disassociative identity disorder) is, it's basically a disorder which defines the presence of two or more different persons in your mind, alike to multiple personality disorder. again, i'm not a professional, and you'd think my doctor would have given me a run down on why it meant before he diagnosed be but here's how it went:

me: hey, so i haven't looked much into the subject, but my one friend who has did was telling me about their experiences and they lined up with a lot of mine. i think i might want to go about being tested

doc: mia. you don't need to get tested, it's already in your file. we've spoken about this before?

me: ...i don't think we have?

doc:

me: so you're saying you diagnosed me with did and didn't even tell me about it?

doc: well, at least you're aware now, right?

yeah. so that's two doctors i've gone through in the past three years. i didn't throw a stressball at this one, but fuck i wanted too!!

anyways, i guess i should introduce some of my alters :)

i'm mia (she.they.fae.), the host and little, i identify with how the body looks.

enzekai (he.they.it) is the co-host and caretaker, as well as the first alter i purposefully made. kai has many sources, but his main is actually an oc of mine, cairo!

and dwelle (it.she.boo) is our resident trauma holder and nonhuman. she formed recently while i was splitting and hasn't had much time in the front. her main sources are casper from girl in pieces and cassie from skins.

i'll give everyone a better intro but i'll save that for another post!

i have gotten absolutely zero progress done in my book, the toll it takes, and i find it harder and harder to write anything but immensely sad poetry anymore. on the rare occasions i can make up some headcanons but i don't think i'll be able to write any (good) fanfics for a while now, sorry

okay, onto the bad stuff. if anything listed is triggering or unappealing, please don't read ahead: ed (anorexia), sh (cutting, self sabatoge), anxiety and depressive thoughts, suicide mentions, death mentions, and otherwise explanations of feelings like abandonment and lonliness that while, in retrospect wasn't nearly as bad as i thought so, can still be upsetting just to read.

you've been warned

recently, as mentioned above, i've just gotten out of an episode; a bad one. by gotten out of, i mean i've attached myself to select people and depend entirely on them to keep me from self harming or starving. and that's completely unfair, so i've been trying to recover. my friend @my-elysian-love is helping me immensely to eat full meals and reminding myself that i don't deserve what i think i do. i'm so eternally grateful and i can never repay any of them back <3

before my choice to try recovering though, it was getting worse. i weighed 68 pounds at 19 years old. a couple nights ago, i've cut deeper than i ever have before, and i've been stuck with this sinking feeling in my stomach that i can't quite explain. i took out all my bad feelings on people i knew and loved, and when they finally held healthy boundaries and left me to my own devices so i couldn't hurt them, i took everything out on myself. i know, real remus lupin move haha.

but that wasn't fair. and even now i still feel bad, i still hate myself for what i said and did, for how i acted and it scares me how easily people are forgiving me. because i said some messed up shit while i was splitting, and that's not an excuse. and i just keep thinking it's only a matter of time before i blow up again, and maybe i'll be worse next time. maybe people won't come back, and i can't honestly blame them because i'm fucked. and as scared as i am, i'm grateful. or maybe it's just selfish. selfish because i just hate when nobodies around for me to love, to love me back. but i'm still terrified. it's hard to change up my thinking, but i'm trying. i'm trying rlly hard and i just hope that it's enough.

i'm a couple hours clean for self harm, and yesterday i didn't technically eat a full meal like i was supposed too (my older sister got mad at me and wouldn't let me eat anything). i had multiple cookies, a fruit roll up, two cups of tea, a packet of uncooked ramen noodles, a bite of a chicken finger and also i drank water! just water! for the first time in a while.

i hate that it took me fighting with everyone i loved to the point where i didn't even need to push them away anymore, they went willingly, and having multiple panic attacks in public restrooms to finally start on the road to recovery. it is so fucking hard, it's really hard. but fuck, it's worth it to see my friends happy. to not detect worry in their eyes and to believe it when @my-elysian-love says they love me (again i'm so sorry for spamming you aaa). it's worth it to finally eat cinnamon buns again, and drink tea with real sugar, not cal free sweetener. i get a shit ton less headaches cuz i don't constantly need to count cals anymore, and i haven't passed out of dehydration in 2 whole days. ik people without eds are probably like "wtf is this bitch on about?" and that's what i'm talking about. recovery is never the same as sobriety, but it's the next best thing. and i might still struggle with my body or cover up with baggy clothes sometimes but at least i'm alive to do so. cuz a while ago i was too close to death.

i attempted to kill myself again. this time by starving and eating a buncha pills. i'm lucky cuz it didn't work, and i'm still alive. i can only think of what would've happened if it didn't work. if the last. thing i did was tell someone i loved and cared about that i didn't care if they were dead. that the last thing i did was get mad at them for feeling for someone else the same way i felt for them. yk, bpd moments ✨. but i'm glad i lived to apologize and now i'm trying to recover. and ig that's all the updates i have rn

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perpetually-sad-but-its-fine · 1 year

Text

7x01 of chicago med and what. the. fuck????

natalie left. (low-key kinda saw that coming)

dean archer is still an asshole but POP OFF doctor charles. i did not think he had that in him.

will halstead and stevie hammer????

bro???

he said ‘I know dr. hammer’ in that tone and with that look in his eyes???? am i reading into it or is seggsual tension???????? (spoiler alert: its seggsual tension)

Goodwin’s ‘ah, okay, nice’ is fuckin HILARIOUS to me bc she’s just so done with all of will’s bs and im so here for it.

bro the way that stevie walked towards will and their banter?! oh they definitely fucked. definitely.

maggie sliding into frame. LMAOOOO we love that

will’s thumbs down gesture when maggie asked what his rank was in the class *snort* me too

BRO? APRIL’S JUST GONE??? IK THEY SAID SHE GOT ACCEPTED BUT THEY DIDN’T EVEN ELABORATE ON THAT????? WHAT THE FUCK??

animosity b/w marcel and halstead better LEAVE rn. im not in the mood for more unnecessary angst

dean archer further cementing himself as asshole of the year

but

will’s reply??

*chef’s kiss*

archer fuckin deserved that

istg if will doesn’t punch archer, I WILL

the way that archer said, ‘gemma and emma’

archer’s ‘i'm sorry, you said what?’ to the twin was fuckin GOLDEN

and the clarification of ‘i would like a needle in my arm, too’ and the other twin nodding??? true comedy

ik ive only known vanessa for a few episodes but I already love her and sheS SO BEAUTIFUL

bro, gemma and emma saying ‘we’re one person’ ew ew ew ew ew. no. it creeps me tf out

dr. charles’ pained smile just says ‘nope nope nope’

ARCHER AND CHARLES

OH MY GOD

‘with your history, i guess you just never know’

DOCTOR CHARLES

ARCHER’S LOOK OF SALTINESS AFTERWARDS

LMAOOOOOO

vanessa desperately trying to keep the conversation going w/o a fight

dr. charles’ logic better fuckin work

*rosa diaz voice* ive know dylan scott for half an episode but if something happens to him, i will kill all of chicago meds writers and then myself

stevie and dylan’s dynamic?? they may have barely said anything to each other but i love it already. they work so well together.

when is archer going to get punched???? WHENN????

if i were dr. charles i would've prolly yelled at him and kicked him in the head

is it foolish of me to hope that maggie and vanessa end up becoming closer so that i can see their mother-daughter dynamic??? yes, it is. do i keep hoping anyway?? unfortunately, i do.

I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A FAMILY AND TALK TO EACH OTHER ABT THE STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENS IN THE ED. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR????

sharon goodwin is in her bad bitch era and im here for it

BRO CMON

marcel and halstead would be great friends!

they'd be the best of bros!!!

WHY THE FUCK MUST THIS HAPPEN

i do not trust cooper

not in the slightest

loving how the animosity b/w marcel and halstead disappears the MOMENT someone else tries to suggest something

dr. marcel’s ‘oh?’ is funny and sexy and its telling matt cooper to stfu

‘yeah, okay then’ is the most obvious FUCK YOU, ive seen in a while

get matt cooper off my screen rn

will, i'm glad ur right but now is not the time to give the face of ‘i told you so’

*gasp* are we gonna learn about stevie’s backstory in her first episode????

the look on her face when she asks the patient if she's living in her car??? its personal. one hundred percent

STEVIE’S SO GENTLE???? I LOVE HER????

her and dylan have actually sky-rocketed in my charts and they are now amongst my favorite characters

PLEASE

dylan and stevie’s banter??? *chef’s kiss* we love to see it

NO GOD PLEASE

VANESSA’S FIRST SOLO CALL AS A DOCTOR AND SHE NEEDS TO ANNOUNCE SOMEONES DEATH???? NOOOOOO

MY BABYYY

maggie comforting vanessa??? that was so sweet!!

goodwin: guilt-tripping will into doing what she wants

me: >:o

OH MY GOD ITS THE WRONG TWIN

THEY SENT IN THE OTHER TWIN

OH. MY. GOD.

I WAS RIGHT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

DAMMIT WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW???

dylan scott is such a sweetheart and we do not deserve him

dr. archer and dr. charles patching things up? kinda?

dr. charles’ look of confusion, wondering whether archer was genuine or not? perfect. amazing. fantastic.

oh god marcel and halstead

how’s this gonna go?

oh wow

not as bad as i expected

can they PLEASE be besties now??

PLEASEEEEE

archer is giving out compliments???

is he okay???? did he fall on his head at one point during the episode?

I FUCKIN KNEW IT WAS PERSONAL FOR HER

ITS BECAUSE OF HER MOTHER

I KNEW IT

THEY ACTUALLY REVEALED A LITTLE BIT OF HER BACKSTORY?????

damn alr

#*kissy kissy* watches chicago med #chicago med 7x01 #stevie hammer #will halstead #ethan choi #daniel charles #dean archer #dean archer is an ass #natalie manning #chicago med spoilers

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

Note

HI! I FINALLY HAVE TIME! VERY TIRED BEEN UP SINCE 7 BUT REALLY WANNA READ AND LIVEBLOG CAUSE I MISS THAT SHIT

also I think I might be lactose intolerant? but I only get really fucking bad headaches, nausea and the like from milk but am pretty okay with other dairy products and it...oh wait no ice cream and yogurt also make me sick after I pass a certain limit and is this why cheese makes my stomach feel weird sometimes? okay theory, I am not TOO lactose intolerant. main problem is milk and the rest I can have in limits. makes sense.

also HOW ARE YOU?? I'VE BEEN SO SWAMPED WITH THINGS THAT I'VE SPENT MOST NIGHT SO DRAINED AND DEAD IT'S CRAZY.

BUT I DID CATCH UP ON IALS AND READ THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS OF LBAF.

alright! CHAPTER 4!!

david loml it'll be fine...probably idk man I am really scared for y'all

Alright random person...I will fight you in an abandoned parking lot for this DO NOT DO THIS SHIT

David :((

First I cry over IALS mavid...now I have to cry over lbaf mavid. what is this happening

DAVID! NO DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!

also there's this thing called Communication. Not sure y'all have heard of it though. Lmk if you need a dictionary :)

to the fucker attacking the institute, motherfucker I will literally push you off a building

maybe it's someone who wants him to not be the head of the institute for whatever reason?

Anyway Anjali so hot so efficient would literally die for her

david you good bro? God I love it when the kind ones go feral

no but srsly you good? Well no but like...Im worried. For his health. David :((

“Ask for help,” she said again. “And if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break.”

QUEEN SHIT

“Revenge means you are being harmed in return for the suffering you’ve caused,” Anjali told him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing. So, even if it is Asmodeus, this isn’t revenge. This is an attack, David. And I intend to put an end to it.”

God I love it when women

the picture I WILL SOB DO NOT DO THIS TO ME

Them :((

“Why do people call me baby boy or baby girl?” David wondered out loud.

AJHSHUIDC JACE

petition to only call david baby boy or baby girl from now on

I've been watching The Crown (it took me three days to get through episode 1 but let's not talk about that) so I am literally hearing all the dialogues in with an english accent. It's...something

Some people drank alcohol to relax. David drank tea.

Bitch same.

I've lately fallen in love with Earl Gray. I drink it while I'm studying. I sit down at my desk with my tea and only then do I get to work. Helps me focus and keep my anxiety at bay. Good shit.

same energy as me realising how quickly I had been going through my tea. I...I've been way too stressed lately too, hon. NOT THIS WEEKEND THOUGH HHAHA

he would love a cake <3

oh to have someone buy me overpriced magic chocolate

DARK?? HUH

prince...?

WJAT IS HAPPENING WOMAN EXPLAIN

that's so romantic though 🥺

LEVI?? TIS YOU??

in my relating a bit too much to david era kjkcuhud

Bitch I know you're stressed as fuck so like?? TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?? Srsly, shit's really hard rn for you and it's gonna get harder. Take a nap or something

“Mon ange,” David chuckled and pointed at the screen. “He went back in time and is literally trying to sleep with his own mother.”

I AM SORRY, WHO IS DOING WHAT NOW

NOT NOW! FUCK NO!

not the ICE CREAM

also yeeeeeeeeeee camilaaaaaaaaaa

david and anjali wedding CRYING SOBBING SHAKING LOOK AT THEM

that's a really long proposal dude you're not writing an essay

“My fave power couple is getting hitched. Do it soon!”

Live footage of me

omg the talk with the parents huduifuifugiugf

I love rafe so muvh omg

anjali truly the best person out there

THEM OH MY GOD THEM

I am so soft rn no one talk to me

Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.

SOBBING

they're so amazing I could cry

how bout I punch Kingsley

Oooo marcus

marcus is kinda cool though. I'll probably not like him by the end of this but still

what...what is he working on

what the fuck you on dude?

i love camila so much

damn girl!!

oh marcus...Yeah I remember now what he was doing...

ah yes, the seashell

cool motives but like...that's not gonna happen

we don't live in a perfect world bud. exploitation and prejudice are the first two words that come to my mind when I think of his thoughts becoming a reality.

He didn’t like it when Mallory was in a bad mood. He wanted her to be happy.

Mal in a bad book ends horribly for every person she has ever interacted with

DON'T SMOKE

I was watching The Crown and George is LIKE SICK AS FUCK MAN IS DYING LEAVING BEHIND A DAUGHTER NOT PREPARED FOR THE CROWN JUST YET AND HE'S SMOKING. Sir you just went through a surgery to remove one of your lungs?? you have cancer?? You're coughing up blood?? AND YOU'RE SMOKING!!!

"I know," she smiled at him. "My destiny is Max."

Oh no...I will stab :)

“I’ll ask Jeff to ready the jet,” he smiled at her.

The...what...that is so bad for the environment dude I'm pretty sure there is a beach in New York...I forgot how rich they were for a second there...Taylor swift core

Sometimes...you just wanna get stabby with someone...the someone is two someones...

If they do something to Anjali...

Sigh

AYY IT'S SELENA AND GIGI

AND LEXI

lexi...I love you so much but please...just talk to liv about this

YOU CAN'T DO SHIT LIKE THIS OH MY GOD

lexi YOU CAN FUCKING FLY

I will repeat advice I gave in part 2 (?). Fly there, tell her, fly away.

gabriel and selena >>>>

“Relationship drama waits for no one,” Selena huffed. “Besides, stop making excuses, Lex. Just do it.”

putting off stuff like this makes it so SO much worse lex.

LIV AND LEX ARE SO AMAZING

OH I HAVE A STORY

We threw a farewell for someone right? and that day my friends and I were all sitting together and one of us had a permanant marker so like rational people, we wrote on our hands. I wasn't sure what to write but then I remembered seeing an anon say that their shipname should be lixi so that is what ended up going on the place underneath my thumb. You know where you can feel the bone? I wrote "Lixi" right there. Nice day that was.

which reminds me I need to make plans for my birthday next week with my friends-

ANYWAY

No amount of biceps or boobs will distract her today.

me to me every morning

and I love you guys <33

The man went to Idris to talk to the Inquisitor.

Good luck and god bless!

SCREAMING

Lexi stared at the numbers. It gave her a fucking headache

Me in maths everyday.

My math test went so well today I got everything right EXCEPT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO SOLVE THE LAST PART OF THE LAST QUESTION I HAD THE TIME I SIMPLY DID NOT REMEMBER TO SOLVE IT FURTHER I WILL THROW MYSELF FROM A CLIFF

ahem

“Wait,” Lexi said. “Are you saying these are not demon attacks?”

Imma get the knives

Lexi was going to help Gabriel figure this out. She was going to find out who was hurting her brother like this.

Hurting him with paperwork!

And she was going to kick their ass!

AHHUKDCUIFV HELL YEAH LEX

lots of blob thingies

“Have you guys seen shadow demons? They’re the demons of Lucifer.”

foreshadowing

I am sorry they materialized WHERE

grabriel is so cool omg

THE SONG CHOICE YES

She was talking about some issue with the warlocks in LA not being able to use magic

foreshadowing

lexi NO METAPHORS PLEASE

Lex I told you not to go with metaphors...sigh

this is really entertaining though.

LMAOO LEXI PLEASE-

Oh. OH DISCOVERY

Shit. white...who's magic is white?

FUCKING HELL

and on this note a very good night I can't wait to sleep. LOVE YOU!

Evieeeee. I missed your live blogs so much 😭😭😭

Here is a meme that perfectly captures my reaction to it

I like the live blog too akskskssm but the random gossip 😍😍😍

Your Lexi energy is unmatched 😎

#lbaf

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