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stardustvanfleet · 3 months

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Rediscovery — Josh Kiszka x F!Sapphic!Reader

SMUT. 18+ ONLY! MDNI!!!

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x F!Sapphic!Reader

Word Count: 10k

Summary: Your crush on your best friend, Josh, has been becoming harder and harder to ignore. There’s only one thing holding you back from admitting your feelings— most of your experience has been with other women, and you know that Josh’s history is equal and opposite, having mostly been with other men. But after one of your usual nights out, aided by a few drinks and a joint, things are finally coming to the surface. And you’re about to rediscover everything, together.

Warnings: Friends to lovers smut with switchy!Josh. Oral (m & f receiving), fingering/handjob, unprotected sex, dirty talk. Both the F!reader and Josh are written as explicitly queer in this fic.

A/N: This might be one of the most self-indulgent fics I’ve ever written… and I couldn’t be more excited to finally share it with everyone after spending the last few months working on it. I’ve noticed that even though there’s a huge sapphic community in the Peaceful Army, there aren’t a lot of fics written from the perspective of an explicitly queer woman! I absolutely poured my heart into this one and I have some amazing friends I need to thank for the endless encouragement and inspiration. My best friend, my love, my moonbeam @sinsofstardust — thank you for all the hours of discussion that lead to SO many incredible ideas. I love you ENDLESSLY!!! I also want to give HUGE thanks to my loves, @jakesguitarsolo @losfacedevil @kenobicoffee for being my beta readers and giving me the motivation I needed to finish writing 10,000 words… I love all of you SO much 🤍

FIC BEGINS BELOW THE CUT!

There was just something about Josh Kiszka.

Maybe it was the way he seemed to radiate a kind of warm, exuberant energy; one that was impossible to ignore from the moment he walked into the room. Maybe it was the little gap between his teeth when he grinned that you’d found yourself immediately drawn to, or those wide, sparkling brown eyes. There could have been a hundred reasons, and, in truth, it was more than likely that there were that many— and then some.

Regardless of what had caused it, the fact that you had a rapidly developing crush on your best friend was becoming harder and harder to push into the back of your mind.

You and Josh had met almost a year ago now. One of your favorite bars downtown had karaoke nights on Thursdays, and on a whim, you had come in after a particularly stressful day at work. You weren’t planning on doing anything but sip your drink and listen to strangers perform their favorite songs, but to your surprise, the curly-haired man sitting next to you at the bar had struck up a conversation so easily and naturally you couldn’t help but fall comfortably into chatting with him. The two of you had a lot of things in common, with a similar love of music and an interest in meditation. And when he told you he was going to go up and sing, he offered his arm as an invitation, which you gladly took, leaving you blown away by his voice as he covered Adele better than anyone you’d ever heard. The two of you had spent the entire night talking, and had exchanged numbers with the intention of hanging out some more, and over the next several months, you two had become incredibly close. And yet— there was one important caveat that, beyond his standard affectionate touches, had kept things between you and Josh entirely platonic.

One of the biggest things that you and Josh had bonded over during your numerous deep conversations was the similar way you both seemed to experience your sexualities. Like Josh, you didn’t put a label on yourself, finding that the way you felt love and attraction to be hard to pinpoint under one term, but the majority of the lovers you’d had throughout your life had been other women. Josh’s history was both equal and opposite, with his experience mostly having been with other men. Being queer was something that was extremely important to both of you, and you knew that. And yet, throughout it all, the increasing feelings you held for Josh were growing stronger and stronger. Eating you alive. Burning into your mind and body.

Talking to Josh was always so easy. So why did it feel so impossible to breach this particular topic?

It had been another one of your frequent nights out with Josh. The two of you had gotten into a routine of meeting up at least once a week for drinks and a joint or two, and it quickly became evident to you that spending time with Josh was undoubtedly the highlight of your week. Knowing you’d be able to sit with him, laughing and joking and talking about everything that had stressed you out over the past several days, had become a thought that would get you through even the most difficult times. You tried not to linger too hard on what this could possibly mean for you and your heart, and instead let yourself just try to enjoy the present moment with the ethereal man sitting beside you on the couch.

It was late, very late. Tonight, you’d met up with Josh at a local bar that he had introduced you to a few months earlier, one that was only a few blocks from his apartment. His neighborhood was easy to get to from where you worked, but it was admittedly somewhat out of the way from where you lived. By the time the two of you left the bar, the trains had stopped running, and Josh had insisted that you shouldn’t have to pay a small fortune for an Uber when he had a perfectly good spare room in his apartment.

Josh’s apartment was just as cozy and inviting as he was, and his living room featured a low coffee table surrounded by beanbags and large floor cushions. The couch was pressed back against a cream-white wall decorated with prints and paintings that surely all had a story behind them, framed by the glow of string lights and the numerous plants both lining the walls and hanging from the ceiling. He had immediately offered you one of his t-shirts, and a pair of his own pajama pants that fit you surprisingly well, given that you were both of similar height.

And now, here you were, sitting side-by-side with Josh on his couch as he lit up a joint, with one of his favorite records playing softly on the turntable in the corner. The domesticity of the moment was not lost on you— the clothes you had borrowed still smelled like him, his intoxicating androgynous scent of spicy bergamot and soft jasmine. You both had already had several drinks over the course of the night, and Josh’s cheeks had flushed to a familiar rosy pink that signified his tipsiness. As of right now, all of your energy was going towards not letting your gaze linger on how beautiful he looked. On how hard your heart was beating.

As Josh took a long drag from the joint, his eyes fluttered shut, and you felt your heart skip a beat, unable to stop yourself from watching him. You were still gazing at him when his eyes slowly opened through his long exhale, the cloud of smoke intertwining with the plumes rising from the incense he had burning on the coffee table. He turned to face you as he cleared his throat a little, giving you an affectionate smile and holding out the joint for you to take, which you gladly accepted. Your fingers brushed his as he passed it to you, and you tried to ignore the way the contact made your brain start to buzz.

Now Josh was watching you as you took your hit, his eyes already a little glazed over as the high began to settle in. That was when he spoke, using his favorite pet name for you that you liked far too much to ever admit. “Doin’ alright, mama? Hope I’ve been a good host, though if I haven’t, I’ll be blaming the Fireball.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little as you exhaled your first hit, nodding towards Josh and managing a grin as you said, “Josh, I promise, you’d be a better host blackout drunk than most people would be sober.”

His face lit up at your words, and he let out a laugh of his own as he replied, “I’ll be sure to hold you to that statement if I manage to set the whole damn place on fire,” his eyes lazily following the plumes of smoke you had exhaled before his gaze fell back on you when you giggled, his pupils blown wide in the low light.

“Okay, now that sounds like you,” you teased, moving to pass the joint back to Josh. As the familiar hazy feeling began to settle over your mind and body, you found yourself inching just a bit closer to him as he took it from between your fingertips, bringing it to his lips with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye as you continued, “Well, if it comes to it, I’ll make sure to implement an accidental-house-fire clause in my perfect host assessment…”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he grinned, the joint dangling between his teeth as he did so, and when his mouth suddenly closed around the end to pull a deep hit, the sight of his plush, puckered lips sucking around the joint was enough to make your head spin. He held the smoke in for a moment, before pulling the joint from his lips with two fingers, letting his jaw fall slack and exhaling the smoke in one large cloud, a sight so effortlessly sexy it made your breath catch in your throat. Josh turned to you, and you thanked your lucky stars that any difficulties you were having finding your breath could be chalked up to the smoke now beginning to accumulate in the room. His head cocked to the side just slightly as he looked over at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, his eyes having grown heavy-lidded as the weed began to take its effect. “Well, I’ll say tonight’s adventure got us off to an interesting start…”

You began to giggle again, memories of the evening you two had enjoyed so far flashing through your mind. Overall, it had been another fun and relaxed night out, with you and Josh having met at the bar and recounted how the past week had gone in your usual playful fashion, delving into the stress you’d been dealing with at work and his frustrations with his brothers through overdramatic storytelling and a lot of inside jokes.

After you two had been out for an hour or two and were beginning to feel pleasantly tipsy, two people had sat down at the small high-top table beside yours— a guy and a girl that looked to be around your age. They had been speaking loud enough that it quickly became evident that they were on a first date… and it became increasingly clear to you and Josh throughout the night that this couple’s date was not going well. You had spent the next hour or two getting increasingly tipsier and trying to stifle your laughter whenever the man at the other table made another comment about his crypto startup.

“We really got our own personal reality TV show tonight,” you agreed with a laugh, unable to take your eyes off of Josh as he took another drag, his brows furrowing for a moment as he held the smoke in. Beginning to exhale, he started giggling through it, and you felt your heart rate heighten even further.

“Talk about shitty dates,” he said, shaking his head as if to express pity. “And I’ve been on my fair share of dates with mediocre men…”

“That guy doesn’t even get the recognition of being called mediocre,” you said decidedly, taking the joint when Josh offered it to you again, before he leaned back against the couch, stretching his arms out against the back of it as he watched you speak and grab the lighter. “He didn’t even let her get a word in edgewise…”

“Ouch! Tell me how you really feel…” Josh said with feigned betrayal, making you laugh again and move even closer to him so you could smack his arm playfully— the feeling of his firm bicep underneath your hand making your brain grow cloudy for a moment.

“Oh, shut up, Josh… it’s cute when you do it,” you teased, feeling a twinge in your own heart while using words that were so secretly reflective of your own feelings, but this was how your friendship with Josh had always been. Verbally and physically affectionate, especially in these moments—- but platonic. Never escalating. “Besides, you don’t ramble about crypto…”

Josh nodded, grinning and sticking his tongue between his teeth; “Okay, you’ve got me there.” While gazing over at him, you found yourself caught off guard by the way his cheeks suddenly seemed to be reddening even further. Reminding yourself that Josh blushed frequently, and that this could be caused by any number of things, you did your best to shove any distracting thoughts as far back into your mind as you possibly could while lighting up the joint again. It’s nothing. He’s your best friend; that’s all. Your thoughts, however, were interrupted by Josh’s voice, which continued, “Although, I don’t think he’s as bad as the guy I saw that one time who yelled at the waiter…” As Josh recounted how awful this one particular date was, complete with impressions of the terrible guy in question, you were giggling wildly, the high only intensifying the absurdity of the guy’s entitlement in the story.

“And that is exactly why it’s been so long since I’ve dated a man,” you laughed, shaking your head, remembering the nightmarish experience you had a few years ago that had made you opt for a long break on going out with men. “The last date I had with a guy? Absolutely terrible. I swear… he was trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records for ‘most complaints on a first date’…”

Josh laughed at your sarcasm, watching with amusement as you took your hit. You could feel his eyes on you, even when your own eyelids fluttered shut thanks to the smoke you were holding in. You let out a long, slow exhale, and when you opened your eyes to let your gaze fall on Josh again, you found yourself wondering if he had inched a bit closer while you weren’t watching him— then quickly doubted your own assumption, telling yourself it must be the high only making it seem that way. Once you had taken your hit, you continued, hoping you were maintaining your external composure, “Seriously, you’d think he had a personal best that he was trying to beat. Nothing was sacred. The restaurant, the people around us, my outfit…”

“Your outfit?” Josh asked incredulously, shaking his head in astonishment as you handed him the joint again, which was now over halfway gone. “Well, if he screwed it up with you, I already could’ve told you that he had bad fucking taste, but that really seals the deal…”

You felt heat rising in your cheeks at the compliment, reaching out and squeezing his arm affectionately in thanks without even thinking, making him giggle— the sound of which left you positively reeling. The high which had settled over you made everything feel a bit hazy, a bit dreamy, on top of the fact that you couldn’t take your eyes off of Josh. Everything about him was just as intoxicating as the liquor and the weed you’d shared that night, if not more so, and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest as he took another slow, long hit, while you continued talking to fill the silence that threatened to tug even harder on your heartstrings. “Seriously, though… I can’t believe he was the last man I ever fucking kissed.”

Josh’s head suddenly turned to face yours, the joint smoldering between his fingertips. He raised an eyebrow, and gave you a look that mixed pity with disbelief, along with… some other emotion, one that you couldn’t quite place. “You actually kissed that guy, mama?” There was a touch of irritation in his voice that, if you didn’t know better, you might have placed as jealousy.

You kicked yourself mentally for the thought, while simultaneously, you hadn’t moved your hand from Josh’s arm. For some reason, the pull felt magnetic.

Scoffing a little, you nodded, saying, “I know… not my ideal scenario.” In your tipsy, high state, the words seemed to be spilling from you without any internal consideration, and suddenly, you found yourself blurting out, “I mean… him? Why couldn’t it have been another guy, someone I actually like being around… or literally anybody else?”

As soon as the words fell from your lips, they were hanging in the air. Floating. The breath left your lungs in an instant when you realized what you’d just said, as Josh’s brows furrowed for a moment, those particular words seemingly bouncing around inside his mind. He blinked a couple of times, his lips parting slightly, and it was impossible not to notice the way his gaze seemed to intensify, studying you a little. He cocked his head, the rise and fall of his chest having intensified as you felt your heart rate heighten even further— and that’s when he finally opened his mouth to speak, his brown eyes on you, his pupils blown wide.

“Y/N… do you… do you want it to be… somebody else? The last man you kissed?”

Your mouth fell open, but your thoughts were moving so much quicker than your words could. All you could manage was a soft utterance of “Josh…” as his gaze once again fell to your lips. More openly this time. Lingering. Your head was spinning, your fingertips beginning to grip tighter at his arm. You knew you had to find your words before you lost the wave of courage that was beginning to wash over you, and breathlessly, you let out a soft, “Yeah, I do… I just never thought…”

All coherent thoughts fell apart when Josh’s hand suddenly rested on top of yours, and you trailed off, your breath catching in your throat. Quickly and almost effortlessly, without ever letting his gaze leave yours, he ashed the smoldering joint in the little glass tray on the table with his other hand, and he murmured, “Neither did I…” beginning to lean closer, starting to close the distance between the two of you. Through your rapidly increasing lightheadedness, your lips were already parting in anticipation, your mind racing, your hands trembling. Inches turned to centimeters, and then millimeters.

And when he finally caught your lips with his, it was as if the whole world melted away around you. There was nothing else. Nothing but Josh, his lips taking you in passionately and eagerly, the feeling of his warm, flushed skin against your own…. and, soon enough, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip, as if begging for entry— which you couldn’t help but grant. You could feel his soft facial hair brushing against you as he deepened the kiss, and the feeling was both new and dizzying. All inhibitions you had been holding within you melted entirely away as Josh licked into your mouth, and you found yourself falling into him, your bodies colliding and hands beginning to reach out, touch, grab. Without ever letting his lips leave yours, he was suddenly pulling you by the waist into his lap, and you were letting him, throwing your arms around his neck and fully straddling him, savoring the heat of his body underneath you, the feeling of his firm, solid chest… god, it was all so new, and intoxicating beyond belief.

His kiss was warm, inviting, and all-consuming. A fire had been lit within you, burning incessantly and licking up through your lower stomach as Josh let out a soft sound resembling a moan right into your mouth. It was so pretty, with the slightest hint of a whine, and the thought of hearing more from Josh… sounds increasing in need as he slowly unraveled… immediately made you lightheaded with arousal. An involuntary moan that matched his in its intensity slipped from somewhere deep within you as Josh’s tongue explored your mouth, and the instant tightening of his grip on your waist and arching of his hips right up against you proved beyond any doubt that your sounds were eliciting a similar reaction from the man beneath you. You moaned again, louder this time, and Josh groaned immediately, pulling back just enough to murmur a breathless “You sound… fuckin’ divine, mama,” before hungrily pulling you right back in, your hands sliding up to tangle in his curls, tugging at his roots as he hummed with satisfaction and need, right against your lips.

You were rolling your hips against him now— and with a nearly overwhelming shock of desire, you were suddenly aware of the way Josh was hardening underneath you as he continued to sigh and moan into your mouth. Most of the people you’d been with didn’t have the anatomy that Josh had, and the realization that you were making him hard had you lightheaded. Breathlessly, you started giggling into the kiss, and he pulled back for just a moment to look at you curiously, his cheeks flushed red and his brown eyes wide, sparkling. “What are you giggling at, mama?” he asked playfully, sticking his tongue between his teeth as he watched you rock against him, his pupils dilated with lust.

“It’s just… oh, fuck…” you giggled again, throwing your head back for a moment as you let the feeling of him underneath you just wash over you. “God… I forgot what that felt like, Josh….”

He was licking his bottom lip now, looking just as giddy and flustered as you felt. When Josh’s gaze pulled itself away from your eyes for a moment, he let it drag down your body, right down to where you were grinding down onto him, before right back up to resume looking right at you– as if he were able to see something far deeper in you than what was on the surface. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Tell me, mama…” he started, his voice low and breathless, his eyes remaining on you as he began to roll his hips to the rhythm you had established. “...tell me how it feels.”

“Fuck,” you whimpered, his ability to slip so easily back and forth from needy to commanding making your head spin, and the word slipping out made Josh lick his lips, clearly enjoying being able to watch your expression shift as your arousal grew. Focusing on every feeling, you breathed out, “So good, Josh. Feels so fucking good…”

“Paint me a picture, mama…” he sighed, his eyes glazed over with desire, his hands beginning to glide up and down your body, exploring you slowly and passionately, as though trying to commit your every inch to memory by means of touch alone. Everything had escalated so suddenly, in such a frenzy of accidental admissions, and you didn’t even care. You couldn’t even begin to think of a damn thing beyond what was happening in this present moment, and just how fucking badly you needed him. You couldn’t believe how wet he had made you so quickly.

His desire to hear you speak on your pleasure was intoxicating. You were breathing heavily, unable to take your eyes off of him. He looked angelic, his curls framing his face so delicately and beautifully despite the way your fingers had been knotting into his hair moments earlier. Josh was practically glowing in the dim, warm light, his features illuminated in a way that was simply and undeniably breathtaking. There was a look in his eyes that was making your whole body tremble, and the feeling of his cock continuing to harden underneath you was almost overwhelming. You had never felt an ache quite like this one before. It was different, and it was… good. Focusing all of your attention on exactly what you could feel beneath you as you both grinded against each other, the words left your lips in a breathless, rambling moan.

“Feels… so fucking hard… and thick, Josh… oh, God… I’m soaked… I’m burning for you…”

He let out a shaky groan, his plush lips falling open as he watched your eyes flutter shut while still rocking against him— and you let out a soft cry of need when you felt him twitch against your clit through the layers of fabric between you. “Fuck… mama, you’re a poet…” he panted, leaning his head back for a moment as he bucked his hips up against you. “God… It’s been so fucking long…” When the words left his lips, the thought occurred to you that, just like it had admittedly been a long while since you’d been with a man, it had likely been just as much time since Josh had been with a woman— and the realization somehow made your hunger for him grow even greater.

“Too many clothes,” you managed to gasp out, and Josh was nodding, his eyes having darkened even further, allowing himself to pull his hands from your body long enough to sit back and watch as you pulled your top— his own t-shirt —over your head, throwing it onto the floor without a second thought. You had taken your bra off when you changed into his pajamas, and the sight of you topless was enough to make Josh’s breath audibly catch in his throat, his eyes wide and ravenous, taking in every last inch of skin that had been revealed to him.

“Fuck,” Josh breathed out, his cheeks flushed with arousal, “You are so fucking beautiful…” his words making your head spin as he found the hem of his own t-shirt, tugging it over his head and tossing it to the floor alongside yours. You had seen Josh without a shirt on before, but never anything like this, and being so close was damn near overwhelming. Immediately, you were running your hands up his chest, savoring the feeling of his toned, firm skin underneath your own.

“Josh, you’re fucking beautiful,” you sighed, and the look in his eyes was unlike anything you had ever seen— astonished, adoring, voracious. His own hands began to slide up your body, mirroring the way you were exploring his, before moving to cup your breasts. Dizzily, you were left reeling at the size of his hands, his long fingers, the way he touched… giving your tits a gentle squeeze at first, your resulting moan encouraging him to squeeze harder, pressing your cleavage together as a low groan escaped his throat. You bit your lip, looking back at him and watching how his eyes devoured you. “Do you like them…?”

Josh’s gaze immediately flashed to meet yours, and the eye contact felt like a shock going straight down your spine. A sound resembling a growl escaped from the back of his throat, and your mouth fell open involuntarily as he said, “God, I fucking love them…” continuing to grope and squeeze, his cheeks red, his chest heaving. Your hand continued to slide up his chest, your fingertips finally reaching his necklace, and you just couldn’t resist— tugging it towards you, pulling Josh towards you and kissing him as hard as you’d ever dreamed of doing, drunker now on the feeling of him kissing you back than on anything you’d had at the bar. His hands slid around to the small of your back to pull you into him, your tits pressing up against his bare chest for the first time. The contact made you practically light-headed, moaning into his mouth as the kiss grew sloppier, before Josh’s lips began to trail down to your jaw, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses in his wake. Your hands slid up to grab at his hair again as he continued his journey downwards, beginning to kiss and lick at your neck— and you were left gasping and writhing underneath him.

“Oh my God, Josh…” you panted, feeling the way his tongue was now beginning to flick and tease at your pulse point, your fingers tightening in his curls. “Fuck…” Your words elicited a moan from Josh against your neck, and you found yourself bucking your hips against him harder at the sound. He continued kissing lower, down your neck to your collarbones, seeming determined to explore every inch of your skin with his mouth, and his obvious desire was making the heat between your thighs burn ever greater. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he reached the top of your breasts, letting his mouth and tongue kiss and caress sloppily downwards, looking up at you through his lashes all the while.

He pulled back only for a moment, licking his lips as he gazed up at you, breathing out a low, heavy, “You have no fucking idea how many times I’ve imagined this…” his words sending shock waves straight to your core that were only amplified when, without warning, Josh leaned in to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss right to your nipple, sucking it right into his mouth. The pleasure was so sudden and so overwhelming that your own mouth fell open wide as you arched into him, crying out and gripping him even tighter. Josh let his tongue trace in circles around the hardened bud, before flickering it over you at a speed that had you gasping and whimpering, making your mind reel with possibilities of what else his tongue could be capable of. Your moans were growing louder and more desperate as he moved to pay the same attention to your other nipple, one of his hands sliding up your body so his fingertips could continue playing with the first.

It was already so much. He was so skilled with both his mouth and his fingers, and your anticipation of what was to come was matched by an insatiable hunger burning deep within your core. “Oh, fuck… Josh… that feels so good,” you moaned breathlessly, your voice already shaky, overwhelmed by the way he was working both nipples at once while continuing to grow harder underneath you. The look in his eyes was dark, mischievous. He was clearly being encouraged by your praise, and he was chuckling against you, both the sound and the vibrations enough to make your body shiver against him. He continued worshiping your tits like this for minute after minute, his sighs and moans against you making your head spin and your arousal pool between your thighs. After a while, the feeling of his hard cock rubbing up against you through your pajama pants was becoming impossible to ignore, and the layers of clothing between your bodies felt far too much. Your next words escaped you in more of a whimper than you had intended, thanks to Josh’s relentless tongue against your left nipple and his fingertips rolling and tweaking the right. “Please, Josh… baby… I’m so wet, I need more…”

The words made Josh’s eyes flutter shut for a second, groaning with need as he pulled back from your nipple with an obscene pop. “Fuck, mama… I’ll give you more… lover… let’s get these off you, yeah?” he asked, his hands reaching the hem of your pajama pants as you nodded voraciously, the new pet name he’d just used sending chills up and down your spine.

Swiftly and almost effortlessly, Josh was pulling you off of his lap to press you up against the back of the couch, kissing you deeply all over again as he repositioned you, before pulling back to look you in the eyes as he moved to untie the pajama pants you had borrowed from him. You lifted your hips to aid him as he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of both the pants and your panties, his gaze meeting yours as if to check in for one final time that this was what you wanted, and you were nodding before either of you even had the chance to speak. “Please…” you breathed out, and that was all the confirmation he needed, tugging them all the way down your legs and lifting your ankles to pull them off of you. Your head was reeling as you watched him kneel before you through heavy-lidded, lust-clouded eyes. Slowly, as if uncovering something sacred, Josh’s hands landed on your knees, gently pulling them apart, revealing you to him— all of you, for the first time.

His lips parted in astonishment. “Oh my fucking God, mama…” He was devouring your pussy with his eyes, staring at you as though witnessing the divine. “You’re so fucking wet… fuck, you’re a goddess… Aphrodite incarnate.”

You were left breathless at his words, and if that wasn’t enough, in a frenzy, Josh’s mouth attached itself to your inner thigh, kissing eagerly, lapping against your sensitive skin, and beginning to climb higher by the moment. Utterly overwhelmed by the feeling, by his desire, you found yourself growing lightheaded, panting out, “You wanna taste it, Josh?”

Between hungry kisses to the inside of your thighs, he looked up at you with a wild ferocity in his eyes you’d never seen before, and his voice was husky as he breathed out a low, hot, “Not want. Need.”

He had left you speechless, the only sound escaping your lips a desperate whimper of arousal that made Josh groan against your skin as he continued his ascent. Moving higher with every kiss, every lick, every graze of his teeth— you were trembling as Josh grew closer and closer to your burning heat. It had been a long time since any man had made you ache like this, and you couldn’t believe just how badly you needed him, how little you cared about anything beyond the promise of his tongue.

Josh was nearing the apex of your thighs now, only inches away from where you needed him most. The feeling of his lips and his facial hair, watching the way his nose pressed into the soft skin of your upper thigh… keeping your eyes on him felt addictive. He was a work of art, devoting his mouth and body to your pleasure, and you couldn’t look away. That was, until Josh fulfilled his promise— hands gripping your thighs and eyes right on yours as he pushed his head forward, immediately pressing a slow, wet kiss directly to your pussy.

The cry that left your lips was louder and more desperate than any of the moans Josh had already drawn out of you, and your thighs immediately tightened around his head, your hands flying back into his hair as you threw your head back. Josh had flattened his tongue, licking a stripe along the entire length of your slit, before letting his tongue explore your folds, his lips kissing and sucking all the while. You were practically incoherent already, astonished at how he could possibly be so good at this. Expletives were falling from your lips completely outside of your control, your desperate moans of “Oh, God… fuck…!” only serving to encourage Josh further, pressing his face in even deeper and sucking at your clit, his mustache tickling at your most sensitive spots while his hands kept a white-knuckled grip on your thighs.

You were practically seeing stars, tugging at Josh’s hair in unbridled ecstasy as he started flicking his tongue against your clit, at a speed you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. The feeling made you let out a sound so needy and pornographic, you hardly recognized yourself. Pleas began to tumble from your lungs as your thighs started to shake, the pleasure building quicker than you ever could have imagined. “Please, please… oh, God, Josh, don’t stop…”

His fingers dug into your thighs as if to assure you that he was not going to stop, his tongue continuing to flick and lash at your clit from every angle, lapping at your wetness, humming and groaning into your heat. Devouring you as if it was his last meal, Josh looked up at you with his brown eyes wide, sparkling, practically innocent; and the sight had you choking on your own breath, his name escaping your lips in a desperate whine— and the sound of that, perhaps combined with the taste of you, left Josh’s eyes rolling up into his head, eyelashes fluttering wildly, as he worked your cunt with his tongue. The sight, combined with his relentless worship of your pussy, the lapping of his tongue against your clit, sent you right over the edge— all at once, you were moaning louder than ever as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your thighs clenched and tightened around Josh’s head as he groaned into your pussy, licking up your release as you gushed onto his tongue. The orgasm was all-consuming, wracking every inch of your body with shudders, and Josh made sure to work you through every second of it, keeping his pace until you began to come down. Only then did he slow his tongue, beginning to press slow, passionate, gentle kisses to your pussy as the last few spasms of pleasure coursed through you. He only pulled back when your grip in his hair loosened, turning to gentle strokes of your fingertips through his curls.

With one final, soft kiss to your heat, Josh came up from between your legs, licking his lips and looking at you almost bashfully, his face flushed and slick with your release. The sweetness in his gaze combined with the depravity of the moment sent yet another shiver down your spine. Chest heaving and eyes glazed over, you let out an incredulous giggle, savoring the softness of his hair under your fingertips, and the way he was looking at you. “Jesus, Josh… you didn’t tell me you were so good at that,” you teased, still somewhat in shock at the fact that all of this was really happening.

“You never asked,” he teased back, sticking his tongue between his teeth, and the sight had butterflies erupting in your stomach all over again. You were struck by an overwhelming need to kiss him, and you again let your hands find his necklace, beginning to tug him back up towards you, and you watched Josh’s eyes widen and lips part as he raised himself to close the distance between the two of you once more. This time, when your lips met and Josh licked into your mouth, you could taste yourself on Josh’s lips and tongue, and that little fact combined with his soft moan into the kiss left your body growing hot all over again.

You kissed sloppily for another minute or two, letting your hands begin to slide up and down Josh’s chest, and the sounds your touches were eliciting from the man positioned between your legs were making your mind grow foggy. In the midst of the kiss, Josh’s hips pressed up against your core, his clothed erection rubbing up against your bare cunt, and the feeling made the both of you gasp. Josh pulled back a little to capture his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. When he opened them again, you already knew exactly what you wanted. “Josh…?” you asked softly, seductively, and his gaze on you alone had you practically seeing stars. “You made me feel so good… please… let me return the favor…”

As the words left your lips, you were sliding out of your position on the couch, keeping your gaze directly on Josh. “Stand up for me? Please?” you asked, your eyes wide, your teeth grazing your own lower lip. He was mesmerized, looking at you with so much visible desire that you could hardly think straight, but stood up for you, his body practically glowing in the soft, golden light. Through your haze, you were able to sink down onto the floor, finally ending up exactly where you wanted to be. Kneeling in front of him. At eye level with the bulge straining through Josh’s pajama pants. Looking up at him with those same doe eyes, you slid a hand up the inside of his thigh, and Josh let out a soft, melodic groan, his own hand falling to stroke your cheek and run his fingers through your hair. His tender touches only served to encourage you more as your hand stroked further and further upwards, before finally reaching its destination— wrapping around the visible bulge in his pajama pants and giving it a squeeze, arousal flooding your veins at both the feeling of his hard cock in your hand and the moan that escaped Josh at your touch. It had been so long since you’d done this, since you’d been with anyone who had a cock, but… Josh knew that. He’d known that for almost as long as you’d known him at all. And somehow, the fact that it was him you were here with, exploring, rediscovering— truly made any nerves or hesitation you might’ve had disappear without a thought. “Fuck, you’re hard, baby…” you breathed out, looking up at Josh through your lashes, and the use of the affectionate pet name made his grip tighten in your hair.

“It’s all for you,” Josh replied, his voice husky, his breaths coming hard and fast. The sight of his toned chest rising and falling so rapidly in combination with his words was making your head spin as your hands slid higher, hooking around his waistband. He groaned a little, his hips bucking involuntarily at the loss of contact, but his next words were low, seductive. “You wanna see what you do to me, mama?”

A soft moan slipped from you at his question, and you were nodding before you found the words. “Yeah, Josh… I wanna see it…” His teeth sunk into his bottom lip once more as he watched you through lust-blown, darkened eyes, cocking his head, which made his curls fall across his forehead in a way that made you squeeze your thighs together involuntarily. Finally, you couldn’t resist any longer, tugging down Josh’s pajama pants while he kept his gaze on you, hungry and intense. And when you laid eyes on his cock for the first time, the wave of desire that crashed over you was enough to leave you utterly and completely dazed.

“Prettiest cock I’ve ever seen,” you whispered, almost reverent, and Josh let out a giggle so breathless and aroused that you felt yourself grow practically lightheaded, his cheeks somehow flushing even redder at the compliment. The statement was the inarguable truth; you had slept with comparatively few men as opposed to women, and not one of them had a cock that left your mouth watering the way Josh’s already had— upon sight alone. He was deliciously thick, the head of his cock an identical rosy pink to his plush lips and slick with precum, making his own desire more than evident. You were left awestruck, staring at all of him for a moment, wondering how it was possible that tonight’s events had truly led to the situation you were currently in.

He was gazing at you through heavy-lidded eyes as you lifted your hand, reaching out and letting your fingertip trace all the way up the one pretty vein that ran up the underside of Josh’s cock. At your feather-light touch alone, Josh shuddered, his fingers curling in your hair and a sigh escaping his lips. “God, lover…” the words left him in a husky whisper, so low and breathy, and the sound had you squeezing your thighs together all over again. Blinking up at him innocently, you spit into your hand, shivering when Josh let out a little growl at the sight. Your heart racing, you wrapped all your fingers around the base of Josh’s thick cock, savoring the feeling of his warm skin, and the moan that slipped from him was so pretty you couldn’t wait any longer, starting to pump your hand slowly up and down his length. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, watching the way his expression changed, how his plush lips fell open, his brows knitting together a little, as he moaned out, “Oh, fuck…” Stroking him up and down, you began to repeatedly swipe your thumb over the head of his cock, and the action was making Josh grow breathless underneath you. You heard him sigh your name, his chest heaving, his hips beginning to buck against the motions of your hand.

Feeling drunk on desire and the way Josh was somehow continuing to harden in your grasp, you were unable to make yourself wait any longer. “I love this cock, Josh…” you managed to breathe out, another wave of desire washing over you as he tugged harder at your roots, biting his lip. “…and fuck, I need a taste….” The arousal was written all over Josh’s face, his cheeks flushed red and his mouth still hanging open.

His voice was breathier, a little shakier, when he opened his mouth to reply. “Go ahead, lover… it’s all yours…” The sound of that particular nickname leaving his lips while urging you to go on, his tone almost needy, made your eyes nearly roll back into your head with desire. Keeping your gaze on Josh while you continued to stroke his cock, you leaned forward, your head spinning and breaths coming fast and heavy. And when your lips touched his sensitive skin, pressing a soft, open-mouthed kiss to the head of his cock, the sound that escaped Josh was enough to send a lightning bolt of arousal straight through your entire body. His eyes were wide, lust-blown, his pretty lips hanging open as his chest heaved, tangling his fingers in your hair as your kisses turned into kitten licks to his head, exploring his soft skin, lapping at his arousal.

Josh was falling apart so quickly, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Reeling from the taste of him, you started taking him deeper into your mouth, flames of desire licking up into your lower stomach with every moan from Josh, every buck of his hips. Expletives fell from his lips like a prayer as you continued, feeling every inch of him as you took him deeper into your mouth, further down your throat. Practically gagging on the sheer size of him, you finally reached the base of his cock, the tip of your nose pressing up against his pelvis as you blinked up at him with wide, almost innocent eyes. A strangled noise somewhere between a moan and a growl escaped him, his fingers holding a white-knuckled grip in your hair, while his whole face, neck, and even the top of his chest were flushing pink with arousal. “God… fuck… look at you… so fucking beautiful,” he was panting out, his words coming out in a desperate, rambling groan. You had never seen Josh so incoherent, and the sight was beyond dizzying. His praise was electrifying, and finally, you hollowed your cheeks around him, beginning to bob your head up and down his length. Josh let out a loud, uninhibited moan, throwing his head back and letting out another strangled “Fuck… oh, Jesus Christ…”

His moans, his body, his cock; it was all so unbearably addictive. The way his chest was rising and falling with such rapid, intense gasps. The way he was bucking his hips back against your eager mouth. The way his fat cock was somehow still getting harder, thicker inside your mouth. Swelling. Throbbing. The drool was practically dripping down your chin as you sucked him off, bobbing up and down, using your tongue to explore as you watched his contorted, blissed-out expression shift with spine-tingling curiosity. Josh’s hands were practically trembling in your hair as he continued to moan, praise, and curse— the words seeming to fall from his lips entirely involuntarily, as though erupting from his soul itself while you let his pleasure build.

You had almost entirely lost yourself in the taste of his cock, the way it was stretching your jaw, how it felt filling up your mouth and throat, that you were caught by surprise when Josh started pulling back with a shudder, his hard cock slipping from your lips with an obscene pop. Any confusion that you felt, however, was immediately dissipated when Josh breathed out, voice husky, “God, mama… I’m gonna fuckin’ cum if you don’t stop… and, fuck…” he was helping you stand to meet him at eye level again, his eyes dark and desperate as he stroked a hand through your hair, down past your cheek, dragging his fingertips down your neck. “I need to fuck you, lover…”

Hearing him say those words made your mouth fall open a little, beginning to nod before you could even speak. “Oh, God… please, Josh… fuck me. I need it. Please, just fuck me…” Upon hearing that, Josh was growling again, the sound still making your entire body tremble, as he began walking you backwards towards his sofa, his hands on your body and his eyes on yours, intense and hungry. Before long, you were trying to keep your breathing steady as Josh laid you down on the couch, his eyes all over you, his necklace dangling over you enticingly. Your heart pounding, you sat up against the arm of the sofa, biting your lip at Josh as you slowly, teasingly opened your legs wide for him. His gaze was ravenous as you blinked up at him, breathing out a soft, tantalizing, “Come and get it…”

That was all Josh needed. Immediately, he was climbing on top of you, positioning his flushed, firm body between your legs and letting one hand rest on either side of you on the arm of the couch. His face hovered above yours, his cheeks red and his eyes dark with arousal, as one hand landed on your shoulder, pinning you to the arm of the couch underneath him—- the action immediately sucking all of the air from your lungs. His free hand now began to slide down your body as he cocked his head, studying your expression with hungry brown eyes as he groped at your tits, then let his hand slide down your stomach, before letting his fingers part your folds. You moaned, bucking your hips into his touch, and a groan escaped Josh at that as he stared at you incredulously. “Fuck, mama… you’re so fucking wet…”

“God, Josh, it’s what you fucking do to me,” you panted, little whimpers and sighs escaping your lips as he gathered your wetness on his fingertips, before trailing up to play with your clit. After a moment of this, he trailed his fingers down, letting his index finger tease and press at your entrance, and you were moaning, nodding your head, the eye contact that Josh was maintaining heightening every feeling, every sensation. Upon your nod, he was pushing one long finger up into your cunt, and you were crying out all over again, your walls immediately clenching around him— and that drove both of you into near madness, as you immediately leaned up to kiss Josh as hard as you possibly could, moaning into his mouth, bucking your hips against his hand as he began to fuck you with his finger, pumping it in and out, getting your cunt ready for his cock.

You were grabbing at his body, at his necklace, his curls, pulling back to stammer pleas desperately against his lips. “More… God, Josh, I need more…” the words left your mouth in a rambling, desperate beg, and the low groan of desire that escaped him in response made your eyes roll back a little even before he slid a second finger into your pussy, fucking them in and out of your wetness as you writhed beneath him.

“What do you need?” His voice was husky, teasing, his eyes heavy-lidded and never leaving yours, his nose hovering millimeters above your own. Your heart felt like it could give out within your chest at any moment as Josh’s fingers worked you, stretched you. “I wanna hear you say it, lover…”

“Fuck, Josh… oh, God, I need your cock. Please…” you begged, reaching out and tugging at his curls, savoring the way he leaned into your touch. “…I’ve imagined it so many times, baby… please just fuck me…”

Those words, the admission that you’d pictured this before on numerous occasions, must’ve been exactly what Josh was looking for, as a moan even lower, darker, huskier left his lips. “Fuck, mama… sound so fucking pretty when you beg….” You shuddered at this, looking up at him with pleading eyes, as Josh nodded slowly, and pulled his fingers from your dripping pussy, the loss of contact making you shiver. You watched, dazed, desperate, as he wrapped those same fingers around his hard, thick cock; giving it a few solid pumps before lining it up at your entrance. The look in his eyes was unlike anything you’d ever seen before— powerful, commanding, full of need, while still unbearably affectionate. Practically loving. You could hardly think, drunk on your desire, gaze fixed on the beautiful man hovering above you. Teasingly, teeth sinking into his lower lip, Josh began to rub the head of his cock up and down your soaked slit, and the friction left you whining and bucking your hips desperately against him, his own mouth falling open at the contact. “Gonna fuck you so good, lover… so hard, so deep… gonna have you fucking screaming for me, mama…”

He didn’t even give you the time you needed to process his filthy words— because it was right as Josh spoke that he was pushing his hips forward, his hard, fat cock parting your folds, sliding into your tight, soaked cunt, inch after inch filling you up and stretching you out. Your eyes flew open wide, your mouth falling completely open alongside them as a moan louder than any you’d let out all night escaped your lungs. You weren’t alone, Josh’s own mouth hanging open with pleasure as his eyes rolled back a little, lashes fluttering wildly as he pushed in, up to the hilt. Your chest was heaving, hands desperately reaching to grab at Josh’s body, his strong arms, as little gasps and whimpers left your lips. “Oh, Josh… fuck… you’re so thick…”

He was groaning a little, fighting to keep his eyes open against the overwhelming pleasure of your cunt wrapped around his cock. “So fucking tight…” he managed, his voice restrained, rough, almost shaky. “…gonna move, lover…. you ready? You wanna get fucked?” It was all so overwhelming already, so dizzying, and you were nodding with unbridled desperation, clinging to his biceps as you fought to catch your breath. Yet, as Josh fulfilled his promise, it was clear you wouldn’t be finding your breath anytime soon.

Slowly, he was pulling back nearly all the way… before immediately thrusting his hips forward with such intensity, such purpose, that you cried out instantly, your hand flying to grip Josh’s necklace, which had been dangling just above your breasts ever since he climbed on top of you. He started slow, but the measured pace didn’t last long as he began to pick up speed, starting to thrust harder, faster, deeper. You were so quickly being rendered incoherent as his thick cock pushed in and out, hammering into your cunt and stretching you deliciously with every hard thrust. Moans of his name began to fall from your lips as he fucked you, and you found yourself wrapping your legs around his torso, hanging your head back with overwhelming pleasure as Josh fucked up into you again and again.

“You feel that, lover….? Fuck… you’re squeezing me… so fucking tight…” Josh was groaning, his gaze heavy, his eyelids fluttering, his eyes threatening to roll back again and again. He was twitching inside of you, throbbing, even, and the feeling was beyond intoxicating as you felt your thighs beginning to tremble around him.

“Oh, God… don’t stop, Josh, don’t stop… feels so good…” you were moaning, rolling your hips in response to his relentless thrusts, feeling your pleasure beginning to build rapidly for the second time that night. He growled, beginning to fuck you even harder, adjusting so he was slamming his hips into you from a new angle— and when the head of his cock began to shove up against your g-spot with every thrust, the cry that left your throat was so needy, so desperate, so whiny that it elicited a moan of matching intensity from Josh.

“I can feel you… fuckin’ clenching,” he was groaning, not once slowing the pace of his thrusts, his hand still pinning you to the arm of the couch below him as he fucked you. “You gonna cum again for me, sugar? Yeah? Gonna cum on my cock this time?”

You were whimpering, nodding, tears beginning to well in your eyes as Josh pounded into you, your tits bouncing with every hard thrust of his cock into your pussy. He never once hesitated, only continuing to hammer into you, his gaze intensifying, his sounds growing hungrier, more uninhibited. “Not gonna stop, sugar… gonna fuck you ‘til you’re cumming all over this hard cock… make this tight, pretty pussy cum for me…..”

His words were growing filthier by the moment, and it was only making your head spin even faster, your thighs tremble even harder, your grip on his necklace tighten as the heat began to build deep within your core. Tears began to spill from your eyes; the pleasure starting to become almost overwhelming, moments away from the edge— and Josh must’ve been able to tell, because all of a sudden, his fingers were right back on your clit, circling it mercilessly as his cock slammed into you again and again… and that was all it took.

With a desperate, pornographic cry of his name, you were clenching down onto Josh’s cock as your orgasm crashed over you. Wave after wave of pleasure wracked your entire body as you clung desperately to Josh, moaning again and again and trembling, shaking almost violently against him, seeing stars and practically sobbing as you melted into euphoria.

Josh was groaning, fucking you as hard as he could through your orgasm, his eyes beginning to roll back— and he managed to pull himself from your cunt just in time, your name leaving his lips in a desperate moan alongside a string of obscenities as he exploded all over your stomach, stroking his cock and bucking his hips into his hand. His expression was damn near angelic, his brows knitted together, his mouth wide open with ecstasy, before he caught his lower lip between his teeth, thrusting up into his hand as he finished riding out his high.

Slowly, slowly, gasping for air, you found yourself beginning to return to Earth, your grip loosening on Josh’s arms but refusing to let go, still savoring the feeling of his soft, warm skin; his muscles flexing underneath your fingertips. The chorus of moans between the two of you had evolved into breathless sighs as Josh collapsed onto you; and when you finally managed to open your eyes, you found yourself giggling without even meaning to— your head still spinning, your heart still racing.

Josh was breathing hard, a bashful grin on his face as his own eyes fluttered open, gazing down at you with what could only be described as adoration. Reaching up to run a hand through his tousled curls, you giggled again, your heart swelling in your chest at the way he was looking at you, before he began to join you in your shy laughter. “Wow…” you managed, biting your lip a little, as he let out a giggle of his own, nodding in agreement. You felt heat rising in your own cheeks as you admitted shyly, “Josh, I… you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that with you.”

He smiled at you, the affection in his gaze making you practically breathless as he said, “Truthfully? I think I do… because I’m sure I’ve wanted it just as long,” letting his arms slip around you, and the feeling was a new kind of dizzying. You giggled again, before leaning up to press another kiss to his lips— this one soft, slow, lingering. The frenzied hurry that had motivated the majority of your actions had dissipated as you realized, with a rush of excitement, that you had all the time in the world.

When the kiss broke, you were laughing again, running your hands across his arms, up to his cheeks, savoring the way his eyes fluttered shut at your touches. “All the time we’ve wasted…” you sighed with a grin, thinking about the months you’d spent pining after him, certain that your thoughts and feelings weren’t reciprocated. He was smiling down at you, holding you close to his body.

“We’re here now,” Josh said with a grin, pressing another kiss to your cheek. “And I intend to make the most out of every moment…” as you felt yourself blushing all over again, your heart racing. This really was just the beginning.

It was a long time before the two of you managed to work up the motivation to move from your positions tangled together on the couch, but Josh’s promise of a warm shower and the invitation to share his bed was more than enough to convince you. As he helped you to your feet, his arm wrapping around your waist while your thighs trembled, you felt your heart nearly overflowing with affection. When you turned to look at him, however, a thought struck you that left you giggling all over again, leaving Josh looking at you with a curious grin, arching an eyebrow inquisitively. “What’s bringing on that cute giggle now…?”

You grinned at him, biting your lip and leaning in to press another kiss to his cheek. “Tonight may have been our best adventure yet.”

He laughed again, his happiness utterly infectious, as he leaned in, his lips only millimeters from yours. “And we’ve got plenty more to come, lover.” Closing the distance between the two of you, this kiss was gentle, passionate. A promise that he was yours. That you were his.

As you two headed towards his room, his arm around your waist, there was one thing that was certain. No matter what else was to come, you knew that Josh was right. You two had so many adventures in store.

And you couldn’t wait to rediscover it all.

TAGLIST: @sinsofstardust @jakesguitarsolo @losfacedevil @kenobicoffee @sparrowofthedawnsworld @gold-mines-melting @texas-bbq-pringles @mountain-in-springtime @alwaysonthemend @tripthelightfatality @runwayblues @shutupdevvie @heavens-hearken @godly-sinsx @sacredjake @ignite-my-fire @kiska-enthusiast @songbirds-sweet @viagvf @wetkleenex-gvf @jaketsparrow @rhythm-of-space @the-starcatcher @hsfallingsky @fuckyoutommie @earthlysorrows @ascendingtostardust @joshsindigostreak

If you want to be added to my taglist, you can do that right here! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it 🥰 All my love, Li xoxo

#josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader #greta van fleet smut #greta van smut #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #li speaks #writing tag

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cryinginmyroomsposts · 7 months

Text

Easy - Seo Changbin

Pairing: Seo Changbin x Reader

tags: fluff, just pure fluff, boyfriend Changbin, oc overthinks a bit, subtle mentions of trauma ig, oc gender not specifically mentioned

a/n: not proofread, kind of a ramble, desperately needed to write cuz grad school has been kicking my ass

masterlist

The pitter-patter of rain keeps you awake through the night. You stare at the ceiling and then turn around to see your boyfriend lying on the bed next to you.

It was wild how quickly life can change. Just less than a month ago you were sleeping on this bed, in your new apartment, alone and cold. And now there is this beautiful boy right next to you, the warmth emanating from him lighting up your soul from within.

Changbin had come into your life like a whirlwind that calmed your soul. One moment he was a stranger giving you a kind smile when you dropped your books on the floor of the library staircase and the next he was a friend holding your hand through a tough evening. And now he is yours, in every waking and sleeping moment.

You watch as he breathes peacefully in his sleep, his chest rising and falling calmly. You trace mindless patterns on his arm that lay across your midriff. He stirs in his sleep and holds you tighter.

A year ago you would've absolutely despised the ides of going to sleep with someone because you're hyper independent brain could never fathom the idea of letting yourself be this vulnerable and close to someone. Your bed had been your refuge for a decade, no matter how incorrigible life became you could always come back to your bed and breathe peacefully in the comfort of the dark and let the acidic feelings out into the ever-absorbant pillows.

As you stare into the peaceful sleeping face of Changbin you realise that you haven't struggled to breathe in a while now. You could breathe freely around him, even on days when the whole world was weighing down on you. And especially on the days you got exhausted of him and yourself... you could still breathe freely and express yourself around him.

It all seemed like magic. Yet it felt like the most normal order of things. For this exuberant, softie of a boy to come into your life and turn it around the way the leaves turned orange all around you. During the summer you had taken all measures to spend the winter in your own comfortable company- even buying extra heating to stay warm as the snow falls. And yet, months later, you can see the snow fall out the window and warmth spreads around you from Changbin's soft breaths.

Changbin made it seem like loving you was the easiest thing in his life and for once you had someone to lean on without feeling inferior.

He was everything you didn't know you needed. He matched your loudness, played along with your childishness, and held you softly like a rare flower blooming only under his touch. Changbin showed his love loudly, proudly and ardently but understood that you express it in the little things. Sure the understanding hadn't come in a day, it had taken work.

You still remember the hurt on his face as he watched you ruin yourself because it felt impossible for you to let yourself be loved or taken care of. You remember the tears that rolled down your eyes on a chilly fall night as the both of you let your frustration at work get into your relationship.

It is that very pain, those salty tears and nights of apologies and condolences that made this very moment rewarding. Without the bad times, you would never know how valuable having Changbin by your side is.

"Slee-eep... babbyyyy..."

Your very erratic train of thought has been interrupted by a low grumble from your boyfriend. You titled your head away from the window on the other side to face him. His eyes were closed but you knew he was awake by the way he scrunched his nose and immediately snuggled into your neck when you turned to face him.

"Huh?" You mumbled back soft enough for him to hear but not wake up entirely.

Changbin's pretty eyes opened up slightly and he smiled softly at your face before leaning in and leaving a soft peck on your forehead (that never got old) before pulling back to see you.

"It's too early for your brain to be whirring." His morning voice was deep and his face was soft like a baby. This man was a living juxtaposition most of the time, but that's what made him special.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You ask tracing your fingers along his cheeks and nose.

"The noise from your brain running woke me." He said and nuzzled right back into your neck making you snuggle closer into his embrace.

"Sorry..." was all you could say before he gave a light peck on your lips and pulled you into a tight embrace against his chest.

"No need. just rest."

You couldn't really argue when you were smack dab against his very built chest and soft belly. It felt the closest to a home and the storm in your gut settled down. You could feel Changbin's palms caressing your back and his lips pressed lightly on your head as he drifted back to sleep. His steady breath formed a nice rhythm that made your brain relax and your eyes close.

Falling asleep in the arms of a man who patched your broken pieces with love that flowed and ebbed from every part of him as the snow fell down the cold streets like diamonds from the sky was all you could've asked for. You felt lighter in years as you drifted to sleep. A small smile formed on your lips, when you realised that Changbin's lips left a smile against your head as he slept.

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auspicioustidings · 7 months

Text

Firewatch Part 2

Summary: You wake up in the Fire tower confused and going through sedative after effects and shock.

Words: 2.1k

CW: None

Confusion was the first thing. You were confused. It was such an effort to get your eyes to open. Maybe you had caught a cold? You groaned at the idea and rolled over in bed to try and grab at another pillow, finding your forehead hitting against something solid. Why were your sheets so scratchy? Oh no, you could smell smoke, you knew you shouldn't have done that rewiring by yourself.

"There, you're ok. Sorry, I must smell bad right? Would've changed into sweats but you seemed so content right here that I didn't want to move."

That certainly got your attention. You rolled back half way, letting your eyes open to look up at the man whose lap your head was in. The yellow glow from the lights above him made him look like an angel with that bright smile of his.

Kyle felt his heart nearly stop when you brought fingers to his cheek, looking up at him all adorable and soft. He knew it was the drowsiness from the sedative wearing off that had you so slow and touchy, but who was he to stop you? That was an impossible thing to ask of him when he watched the way your brows furrowed cutely in confusion. You were so much prettier up close.

"Who...?"

"My name's Kyle, everyone calls me Gaz though."

"Hmm" you sighed, your mind trying to just focus on one thing to try and ground. "Kyle... s'a pretty name." You could hear the slur in your voice and it made you frown. That didn't sound like you at all. Weren't you supposed to be in bed?

"Think any name would be pretty if you said it luv," Kyle said, his smile making you want to smile too.

You lay like that for a while, just looking at him while your brain tried to take account of your body. He was playing with your hair you realised after a while, gentle and relaxing. He was in a compression shirt and you could see a firefighter's jacket thrown over the back of the sofa you were on. Oh, that was why it had felt scratchy beneath you and smelled of smoke, he must still be wearing the bottom half of the suit. Wait, why were you on a cute firefighter's lap again? You shot up, feeling a rush of dizziness from the suddenness of the movement that was only somewhat soothed by the hand that had been playing with your hair going to rub circles on your back.

"Dosia!"

"Dosia?"

"My cat! What... what happened?"

Kyle knew Dosia was your cat. They had figured that out as she had been rubbing up against Price and Johnny had tried very hard to get her to do the same to him without much success. Johnny said it had been close enough to your cottage that they heard you call on her. That was months ago. He didn't want to say that they had been stalking your cat through the woods whenever she went wandering so that they could make the little thing like them, but that had sort of been what it was. Not that Price had needed to, Dosia loved him and Simon almost as immediately as she had hated him and Johnny. At least she didn't hiss at them anymore, just tolerated them. Good thing since she was their cat now as well.

"Oh right that's who she belonged to! We picked up a little cat in the forest nearby after the fire, she's fine. Do you remember the fire?"

"Oh God, I nearly died. I... did you save me?"

You turned on the sofa to look at him. If only you knew the sight you made, on your knees, hands planted on the sofa in the gap between them, looking up at Kyle with those big confused doe eyes. Price had said he should lie to you when he needed to, and it felt very much like he needed to lie to you. It wasn't like he hadn't been part of the team that saved you, even if it wasn't him behind that mask that had been cradling your head so gently after hauling you out of the flames.

"I will always save you."

He had turned his body slightly as well to be in line with you and the absolute reverent sincerity of the statement caused your breath to hitch. Dosia was safe, you were alive, there had been a fire. Everything was hazy and you felt weak and dizzy and through all that was this beautiful man who had saved you looking at you like you hung the stars. It was intense and you could feel the heat of the fire on your skin and feel the smoke in your nostrils and see your whole life going up in flames as the memories came leaking back.

You didn't want them, you wanted anything else but remembering exactly what had happened. The only thing that you needed to know was that you had been laying there looking up at this man in a mask, the man who had carried you out of there. And he was telling you that he'd save you again if it came to it.

Kyle watched it happen, watched as you were experiencing everything again. Couldn't do it, couldn't just let you spiral. Maybe it would be the healthy thing, let you process it all. But the healthy thing would inevitably calm you down, get you asking the right questions and wanting to get out of here and start building your life back again. The healthy thing would make you leave because he didn't know what lie they were going to tell to get you to stay. And he couldn't have that.

It was easy to have all that sudden building dread and terror convert to heat when Kyle lunged forward and pressed a desperate kiss to your lips. You threw yourself into it, instantly all teeth and tongues and oh you were on your back on the sofa now and his big, safe body was over yours, hand dancing up your side and making your nerves spark. You couldn't keep still, hands grabbing at his face then his hair then his neck, anything to keep him from leaving you.

His knee was settled between your legs to keep him steady and you accidentally bit his tongue when he pressed closer to give you friction. He pulled back with a sharp cry and you just panted up at him in shock and utter embarrassment. Practically ravishing a man you had only met hadn't made you go red but biting his tongue like an idiot because you had gotten a little over excited had heat flooding your cheeks.

"Dinnae stop on our account."

Oh God, there were 3 men walking into the room. The room that you were splayed out on the sofa in, hair mussed, lips swollen and skin flushed. They weren't dressed like fire fighters but they were all large and fit looking.

The one who had spoken looked pissed off. He was shorter than the others but broad, soft mohawk haircut and sharp blue eyes. He was ruggedly handsome in jeans, boots and an old rugby hoodie. You liked his accent you thought, would like it better if he didn't seem angry with you. They must be the other fire fighters who were off duty now. They would have been there at the cottage. They would have risked their lives to stop the fire, barely made it home and gotten cleaned up and then come to relieve Kyle only to find you with your tongue down his throat.

You pushed frantically at the chest above you, giving yourself just enough room to be able to twist your limbs around his and roll off of the sofa to the floor, scrambling to stand and straighten yourself out. By the time you had made it to your feet one of the other men was already there, ready to catch you when your legs went to jelly and collapsed out beneath you.

"Woah there little bird, you need to go slow for a bit, don't have your legs back yet. Not that Garrick would have helped," he said, only sliding a short, stern glance at Kyle before returning his full attention to you.

He was older, handsome in a way that was cosy. When his eyes were on you, you could see his smile in them. It went a little ways to calming you, but you couldn't help but glance at the Scottish man and the other man standing moodily by him in a balaclava. You could not believe the situation you had found yourself in, having to cling as gingerly as you could to someone to stay on your feet after being caught making out with one of his colleague like a horny teen.

"I- sorry, I'm ok now I think" you said, mortified and off kilter.

He didn't fully let go of you, keeping his hands gently grazing your elbows as you caught your balance and took a moment to get some solidness about you. There was a wild thought in your head that he smelled nice, like pine and suede, and suddenly you felt disgusting. You were filthy, covered in sweat and ash and it was ridiculous that Kyle had even wanted to kiss you in this state. You wanted to be clean, you wanted to be clean and bundled up in blankets with Dosia and a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

Johnny wasn't mad at you, never at you. He wasn't even properly mad at Gaz, just jealous. He had always been a bit of a jealous bastard, hell he had been green when Dosia had instantly taken to Simon over him. Price he could understand, anyone would like that man, but Simon? Simon who didn't even like the cat? Infuriating. So when he came in after having to play nice with the police, after Price had made him shower and change before basically sprinting back to you, and saw golden boy Kyle Garrick on top of you? Absolutely committing the deadly sin of envy with gumption.

It wasn't until Simon had elbowed him hard in the ribs and he had went to growl at him that he actually paid attention. Simon nodded his head to you and Johnny actually looked, saw the state you were in. You were shaking, trying to touch Price as little as you could without falling over. God he wanted to kiss you until you forgot your own name. Thought about it too, was ready to march over and scoop you up until Simon elbowed him again before leaning down to speak in hushed tones to him.

"She wants to get clean and changed. Offer to take her back already."

Johnny side-eyed him, but he trusted Simon. Owed him his life actually, he had got him through a hell of a bad situation once with nothing but radio comms. So instead of going over all confident romantic hero like he wanted he instead put on a winning smile and approached like you were a scared animal.

"Hi bonnie, sorry if I scared ye. Name's Johnny. That's John, but we all call him Price tae keep it from getting confusing. This one is Simon." That's it, nice and soft and gentle so you would relax and want to come home with them. "Ye've been through a right shitemare of a day, so for now let's get ye a hot shower, some food and a reunion with yer kitty cat eh?"

You blinked at him, looking at Price and Simon and seeing them both waiting for you to respond. You couldn't look at Kyle, shyness now creeping in after the rush of adrenaline had worn off. It was like Johnny had completely read your mind because right now that sounded absolutely like the only thing that would make you yourself again. You nodded and Price scooped you up despite your little yelp of protest, chuckling warmly about how you didn't have shoes on so you couldn't very well walk outside.

Kyle waited until you were well out of earshot before swiping at Johnny, the Scot anticipating the move and dodging out of the way with a mean laugh.

"Shit timing you git."

"Naw, think ma timing was fucking astounding actually. Good of ye to teach her what a shite kiss feels like so I'm even more impressive in comparison."

Simon rolled his eyes and left them to play fight, falling into step quietly with Price. If Johnny thought he would be the next one kissing you, he was about to be disappointed.

#cod #cod au #fanfic #tf 141 x reader #gaz x reader #mhairiwrites #it is hard to do continuations and have them be anywhere near as good as the original because I actually have to start doing plot :(

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deathbecomesthem · 1 month

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Cat and Mouse | 1.8K

Eddie Munson x Preacher's Daughter!Reader

*This was a fic I wrote ages ago, and left orphaned. It was a Wheeler!Reader fic. I'm going to consider rewriting it as a more vague reader for inclusivity.

Warnings: Some suggestive language and ideas. Future chapters, if I continue this story, have lots of disturbing ideas about religious subjugation of women and girls.

Cat meets mouse when you see him. All rough edges and open hostility, but you see through it to his soft and sticky center. He is a treat that you want to bite into. A feast for your eyes. You know how to do this thing. How to make him weak in the knees with only a soft blink and tilt of your pretty neck. You brush a finger down, down to your collarbone, as if to brush away a stray hair, showing him where you want his lips to wander. This one will be easy; you think as you watch his glassy eyes follow your fingers.

This game is more than fun for you. It is necessary. It is life giving. It affirms your value in the world. To have a man at your mercy is powerful; you crave it just as you crave the feeling of flesh on flesh. Mouth on neck. Cock in hand. Fingers in your heat with pleasure vibrating down your spine to the tips of your fingers and toes. You know how to please yourself, of course, but to make a man come undone before you is bliss.

“Who is that?” Eddie can’t take his eyes from you, head leaned close to Steve’s ear so no one could overhear. He knows what you’re doing, it’s so obvious. In his mind, you might as well take your top off and throw your bra in his face.

“That is Nancy’s cousin. She’s hot, right? She’s also the sweetest person I’ve ever met. The kids love her.” Eddie blinks and tries to see it, any possible resemblance to Nancy or Mike. He can’t make it happen. He tries to think of this girl, this succubus, as a sweetheart that everyone loves. Can Steve not see that you’re playing with him?

“Uh, Steve, are you getting any vibes coming this way from her?” Steve cranes his neck to look back at Eddie in bewilderment. Apparently not is the thought that passes Eddie’s brain before Steve can form the words to reply.

“Uh, no man. No vibes.” His concern turns into frustration after he notices the hunger Eddie has in his eyes while he looks at you. “Listen, don’t. She’s an absolute saintl. Her dad is a minister, she teaches Sunday school for god’s sake. Just don’t even think about it.” With that, Steve heads across the room to pull you away from Nancy and lead you, protectively, outside to sit by the pool with Dustin and Will.

Angel my ass. Eddie is the most perceptive person in the party. Sure, he has an impossibly hard time understanding certain social niceties, but he can read body language. He picks up on miniscule facial expressions that give away what a person is really thinking when they’re saying they’re fine, it’s all good, how about that weather, did you catch the sportsball game last night. He knows he’s not wrong about this. Steve, on the other hand, could be as dumb as a rock when it came to those subtleties.

Eddie sidles up next to Nancy and Robin as smoothly as possible, hoping to steer the conversation with delicacy. “Hey, beautiful ladies, how are we doing this gorgeous summer afternoon?” His giant grin is met with dramatic eye rolls from both girls. Delicacy failed.

“Laying it on pretty thick today, Munson.” Nancy wraps her arm around Eddie’s midsection in a gentle squeeze while Robin moves on to join Will and El in the next room. Nancy and Eddie had become thick as thieves in recent months to the absolute bafflement of the rest of the group. Opposites on the surface, yes, but just below the two were kindred spirits. Neither were likely to miss a trick.

“So, I see we have a guest in our midst today.” His eyebrows are raised with his signature grin still plastered on his goofy face. Nancy huffs a laugh and nods, knowingly.

“I see. Yes, she's my cousin. Kinda sorta. Her dad and my mom grew up together in the same church, closer than family. She’s truly, my best friend in the world.” Her eyebrows are quirked back to mirror his and a pinch of warning between. “Were you hoping to join the Bible study she leads on Friday nights?”

His sniggers are what finally breaks Nancy’s serious demeanor. A friendly smack lands on his shoulder. “Listen, Stevie tells me she’s a little innocent angel, but I swear the look she was giving me… It’s like she was eye fu-“ Nancy’s hands are in Eddie’s face to shut him up.

“Nope, don’t tell me.” The annoyed look on Nancy’s face makes Eddie’s guilt rear up. This was not something he should be talking to her about; he’s realized far too late. “Here is what I’ll tell you. Only this, and you never say anything like that to me ever again.” Her finger is pointed directly at Eddie’s nose and there is a flash of warning in her eyes. Eddie nods in assent and waves his hand for her to continue.

“She is the kindest person I know. Generous to a fault. She’s great with kids.” Eddie’s eyes are rolling. Steve has already said all of this to him. “Steve is clueless, like pretty much everyone else. Her parents are super strict, as you can imagine. But, no, she’s not as pristine as they think.”

Nancy can see Eddie gearing up for another question, and Nancy’s hands fly to her ears. “Nope, no more. Figure it out on your own. She’s just a girl, talk to her.” Nancy makes her way to the patio doors and turns back with one last piece of advice, “For gods sake, don’t listen to Steve about anything related to girls. He’s a hammer looking for any nail to pound and doesn’t understand nuance.”

She leaves Eddie giggling to himself and feeling at least a little relieved that he wasn’t imagining things. That angel had clocked him as soon as he walked in the door. The game seemed like it might be fun. And, also, a really stupid thing for him to try to play.

The sun reflected off the pool so brightly, you could feel your skin beginning to burn. The first to succumb to the heat were El and Robin with the younger boys following shortly behind. Sweaty clothes are in piles around the pool, everyone seemed to have the same idea to wear their bathing suits to Steve’s. You and Nancy packed suits in a backpack that sat inside the house. A drip of sweat started moving down your nose, and you relented.

“Nance, I’m going to get changed. I can’t sit out here like this anymore.” You leave Steve and Nancy to whatever petty argument they were having at the moment. It isn’t until you’re opening the door to the kitchen that you realize you haven’t seen that hot guy, Eddie, since Steve had whisked you away from your flirtation earlier. That won’t do.

Rounding the corner to the front of the house, you smell it. Naughty boy, you think as you spot him sneaking in the front door. As if a deer in headlights, he freezes, and relaxes when he realizes it’s not one of the younger kids, but you.

“Well, hello there. We haven’t met yet, have we?” Eddie’s eyes are twinkling at you. Pretty man, you think. He pushes himself away from the side of the house, and he starts to move towards you. He’s stalking, that’s the word, stalking, his way into your space as he gives a dramatic bow. On his way back up, he is slowly taking in your form, with no attempt to hide what he’s doing.

You offer your name and your hand and are greeted with a gentle kiss along your knuckles. Oh, this was going to be fun. “I’ve heard so much about you.” Your eyes have gone big, and you flutter your lashes, “Although, I guess most of it can’t be true or Aunt Karen would never let her kids near you.”

The Cheshire Cat had nothing on the grin Eddie was giving you. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’ve got her fooled.” Up close, this boy was beautiful. His eyes are chestnut pools rimmed red from the pot smoke that still clings to his skin. The wrinkles at the edges of his smile speak to you about his humor.

“I doubt that very much.” You’re slinking past him on your toes, face turned up towards his own. Your backpack is behind him. With a hand on his arm, you bend down, allowing your Eddie an excellent view of your posterior. “There it is. Are you going to swim with us, Eddie?”

“Uh,” Eddie clears his throat, “I didn’t bring a suit. I’m not much of a swimmer.” There is a slight flush starting at the apple of his cheeks while you stare him down with your doe eyes. You give him an exaggerated frown.

“Oh, Eddie, how sad.” Sitting on the couch, you rustle through the bag to find your suit. *zip* not in that pocket, *zip* not there either, one last *zip* with no luck and you turn your gaze back on the curly haired boy that’s still watching your every movement. “I must have forgotten my suit.” With a big sigh, you add, “If only someone would be willing to run me back to Aunt Karen’s house to get it.”

“Hmm, that’s too bad. Maybe you should go ask Nancy to take you back.” Eddie’s head is tilted at you with a little pout. There was no way he didn’t know what you were doing, but he wasn’t biting. Fine, be that way.

“I don’t want to ruin her fun; her suit is right here.” You hold up her pink suit to emphasize your point. “You’re not planning on swimming; would you be willing to give me a ride?” Eddie can barely contain himself with the looks you’re throwing his way, but this was not a game he would give in to that easily.

“Oh, I don’t know, Angel, I bet your Daddy wouldn’t be too thrilled to hear about you taking a ride with me. Maybe you should just hang out with me in the loungers and while the others swim.” You’re considering your next move, thinking about making him take the bait. You can see how close he is to relenting when the back door swings open with a dramatic clang.

With a scowl on her face, Nancy approaches you with a hand outstretched. “There you are. I was looking for my suit. It’s hotter than hell out there.” She rummages through the bag, pulling out a black and white polka suit in triumph. “Come on, let’s get changed.” She says, nodding in the direction of your pink suit.

A chuckle from Eddie rang through the room, “Cute suit, Angel. Can’t wait to see you in it.” With a wink, he’s heading through the house while your cheeks burn.

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things

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fallingforfictionalcharacterss · 2 years

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The sweetest dream

Summary: When you fall asleep on Draco´s lap, it leads to some unexpected confession.

Draco and you had been best friends ever since you could remember. When you were younger, you almost lived in the Malfoy Manor, since your parents were really close friends. That´s why you couldn’t think of a life without Draco. And if you were honest, you also didn’t want to. He had always been there, and he always would be. That´s what he had promised you, even before you attended Hogwarts when you turned eleven. Back then you had been scared that you might fall apart when you would start to go to school and meet new people. But Draco had assured you, that it would always be the two of you. And he kept his promise. Because since the two of you were sorted into Slytherin all those years ago, you grew even closer, even though you thought this would be impossible. Not only did you spend every second of your free time together, but you also studied together, and he sat next to you in nearly every class. And when it had been time to go home in the holidays, it didn’t even take you one day to appear at the door of the other one, not able to be separated from another for longer.

But these holidays had been different. You had been away with your parents for nearly the entire summer, visiting some distant relatives in another country. Draco and you had implored that he would be able to accompany you, but since his family needed him at home, this had been impossible. And when you had suggested you could stay home as well, your parents showed you once more, that they had a heart of stone, neither allowing you to stay home alone -even though you were already old enough to do so-, nor allowing you to stay at Draco´s home like you had done it so many times before, and Narcissa had assured your parents that she would have been glad to welcome you. But since your parents were the monsters they were, they forced you to spend nearly two months somewhere nearly on the other side of the world, where the sun was shining and you could lay on the beach all day with a drink in your hand and many friendly relatives who had already been dying to meet you. But none of those things had mattered since Draco hadn’t been with you. Even though you owled every single day, even sending some photographs, you missed him deeply and counted the days until you would finally be able to escape this paradise that was hell for you and finally get back home. And by home, you didn’t mean your house or school. You meant Draco. Because that´s what he was for you. Wherever you were, if he was with you, you felt at home.

And today you would finally get home again. It was the first day of the school year and you were already waiting at King´s cross. Usually, you arrived only a minute before the train would leave, always making Draco worry you may not make it, but today you were nearly half an hour earlier, not able to wait until you would see your best friend again.

But for now, you didn’t see him yet. You had just met Pansy who was a nearly as good friend as Draco. The two of you shared a dorm at Hogwarts and together with Draco and Blaise, the four of you were the absolute best friends Hogwarts had ever seen. In your opinion even better than Potter and his friends.

While normally you loved to chat with Pansy who was telling you about her vacation, you were now way too nervous to concentrate on what she was saying. Your gaze was restless and your leg bounced in anticipation.

“(Y/n), are you even listening to me?”, Pansy asked as she saw you nodding and forcing a smile at something in her eyes unacceptable, she had experienced in the last weeks.

“Mhh? Oh yeah of course. That´s nice.”, you answered absent-minded, not even caring to ask what she was even talking about.

“I don’t think there is any use for you before you haven’t seen Draco, is there?”

You shrugged your shoulders and looked at your friend guiltily.

“I´m sorry Pansy. But I haven’t seen him in ages. We´ve never been apart for so long.”

Pansy laughed.

“Well, it´s good then that you´ll meet again soon before you actually go mad.”

“It´s just all this waiting drives me crazy.”, you sighted dramatically.

“If you would look over there you would be done waiting. Just saying.”, Pansy smiled and nodded in the direction of the entrance.

Your gaze shot up. There he stood. Hands in his pockets and with a board grin on his face. It only grew wider when he saw your face lightning up at his sight.

“Draco!”, you yelled, leaving Pansy behind, who just shook her head, smiling to herself, as she saw you running up to the boy you had missed so much over the last weeks.

Draco took a few steps forward, opening his arm to welcome the girl he had missed just as much as she had missed him. When you reached him, you wrapped your arms around his neck, while his sneaked around your waist, lifting you from your feet and spinning you around.

“I missed you so much.”, you mumbled, burying your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“I missed you too love.”, he smiled as he nuzzled his head into your hair.

When he finally let go of you, you stepped back, eying him from head to toe.

“Looking good Malfoy.”, you smiled.

And that wasn’t even a lie. You had always been aware of the fact that he was very pretty, knowing many girls knew that too, which you always teased him about, but you had forgotten how beautiful he was. Draco had grown at least a few centimetres over the holidays. His hair was now a bit longer and slightly messy, maybe also due to your tempestuous greeting. It made him look older and, even though this thought caught you completely off guard, really attractive.

“You don’t look too bad yourself (Y/l/n).”

He mirrored your smile, his grey eyes lingering on you as well as yours on him. You could feel the blush creeping on your cheeks under his intense gaze. You cleared your throat.

“So how were your holidays?”

“As if you didn’t know. I sent you at least a hundred letters.”, he laughed.

“Yeah, but I want to hear it from you. In-person. From eye to eye. And if it´s just to hear your voice. So what happened? Tell me everything.”

“Actually, they were really awful.” He smiled down at you as he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I couldn’t enjoy anything. I was thinking about you the entire time.”

His confession made your heart for some reason beat faster.

“Me too.”, you admitted, returning his smile. “Just promise me we´ll never be apart for that long again. Don’t think I´ll survive this another time.”

Draco laughed at your staginess but became serious again within a second.

“The next time we´ll spent our holidays together. And if our parents have different plans, I don’t care. I´ll run away with you if I need to. Two roamers roaming through the country, staying at dive bars, living on the streets.”

Now it was on you to laugh.

“You wouldn’t survive two days.”

“As if you would.” “Longer than you definitely. A week at least.”

“I could do it too. As long as you are with me, I would sleep in a tent under a bridge if I need to. It´s still better than not being with you.”

You felt the blush darkening your cheeks once more. To hide it, you pulled Draco in a tight embrace once more.

“I know. Any place with you is home.”

“Indeed love.”

“Would you two lovebirds stop snuggling? We still have a train to catch.”

You turned around, seeing Pansy and Blaise waiting for you, both for some reason grinning knowingly.

“Shut it, Pansy.”, you mumbled, before greeting Blaise.

This year would be great. You just knew it.

And you were absolutely right. Even though your classes were harder than ever and you spent much time studying, you enjoyed every single moment of it. Because learning magic amazed you even after all these years, your grades were great and you and your friends spent much time with each other, growing only more and more close.

After you hadn’t seen him for such a long time, Draco and you had to catch up much time and you didn’t waste any second of it. You spent much time learning, laughing, talking and also cuddling, probably more than ever. That led to some teasing from the other Slytherins, especially Pansy and Blaise. Draco, who had always stated that he had a reputation to lose, why he never liked to commit any kind of physical or emotional closeness, seemed to be clingier since the beginning of this year. And all those comments that he always used to hate, he now just laughed off. When someone made a comment about the two of you laughing in the corridors between class, he just grabbed your hand, telling them that it wasn’t his fault they hadn’t such amazing friends and if someone mentioned how the two of you laid on the couch in the common room together, he just grumbled something incomprehensible and pulled you only closer, making you sight comfortably. You didn’t mind his new behaviour at all. Salazar, you even loved it. You enjoyed every second with Draco and that he was now able to show he felt the same, made you even happier.

But still, the comments of your friends, especially Pansy, annoyed you. They always said that the two of you would make such a cute couple or how the two of you should get a room when you got close once more. You mostly just rolled your eyes in response, trying to hide the fact that your face heated up, every time someone brought up the special bond between Draco and you.

Because if you were completely honest, the one thing that changed the most since the last school year, was your feelings for your best friend. Before the holidays, you had never seen more in him than your friend. An amazing one, but still, only a friend. Whenever you had heard Draco´s and your mother talking about how they were sure that the two of you would get married one day, you scrunched your face at the thought of marrying Draco out of all the boys.

But since that day at the train station, you couldn’t help but sometimes catch yourself daydreaming about what could happen if the two of you would ever be more than friends. Because if you were honest, Draco was everything you were looking for in a boy. Not only that he was good looking and his family was rich and pure blood. You couldn’t mind less. But he was the one person in this world who truly knew you. He knew all your secrets, all your fears, your hopes and dreams and you knew his.

The only thing he didn’t know was the way your heartbeat sped up whenever someone only mentioned his name, not saying when you saw him. He didn’t know about the shivers that ran down your spine when you heard him calling your name or when his skin unintentionally brushed over yours. He didn’t know how you got lost in his eyes, whenever you looked at him or how you wondered how his lips would feel on yours whenever you watched him talking. He didn’t know any of these things and you were glad about it. Because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship for a stupid little crush. That´s what you told yourself it was. Only a crush. Even though after nearly half a year, you slowly started to realize that it might be more than this. You knew you wanted more, but you were also scared that you might end up with nothing if you would confess it to him. And you rather were just friends with Draco, than lose this as well.

You told no one about these feelings, not even Pansy. But your friend seemed to notice. She had always told you that Draco and you would one day be more than just friends. You had always laughed at her for this, telling her that this was absolutely impossible.

But by now, you couldn’t laugh about it anymore, just forcing yourself to smile whenever she brought this topic up. Obviously, she noticed the change of your behaviour and also suspected the reason for it. And as usual, she was right.

“(Y/n), you can´t tell me you don’t love him.”, she told you one evening.

Pansy and you were sitting in the common room, waiting for Draco and Blaise to get back from their Quidditch training. It was late in the evening and it was already dark outside.

“I never said I don’t love him. He is my friend. Of course I love him. But so I love you and Blaise.”

“You know that´s not what I mean.”, Pansy said, rolling her eyes impatiently. “I´m not talking about loving someone as a friend. I´m talking not only about loving but about being in love. And you clearly are in love with Draco.”

“Great Pansy, shout it out of the window, maybe the students from the other houses haven’t heard you yet.”, you hissed, when her voice got louder and some other students looked in your direction curiously.

“So you admit that you are.” She sounded triumphal.

“Never said I am.”, you mumbled.

“But you also never said you are not.”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? I mean Draco and I are best friends. It would be awkward if I… I don’t want to ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose him.”

To the end your voice became quieter.

“But if you won´t do anything, you ruin what could be.” Pansy´s voice sounded much softer now.

“Draco doesn’t feel the same as I feel for him. I mean if I would… you know… be in love with him. Which I´m not saying I am.”, you added quickly.

Pansy giggled.

“Of course not. But seriously (Y/n). I don’t get it. Everyone can see how much you love each other. I mean how much in love you are. Salazar, you always steal those glances, blushing and smiling stupidly whenever someone just mentions the others name. And you are so close. Closer than with anyone else. Have you never noticed that Draco had never even looked at another girl?”

Now that Pansy mentioned it, you realized that this was right indeed. Even though you knew many girls were interested in Draco, he had never shown any interest in someone. Sometimes you had talked about it. But Draco had always said that he didn’t want to settle for something if he wasn’t absolutely sure that he loved her. That didn’t mean that he hadn’t made his experiences, but it had never been more than this. It had never been something serious. And for some reason, you were really glad about it.

“I´m just scared to lose him Pansy.”, you sighted, kicking your feet up on the couch as well, now laying down.

“Your connection is something special (Y/n). Even if he wouldn’t feel the same, and I highly doubt that this wouldn’t be the end.” “But I probably couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore after this. And by the way, how am I even supposed to tell him? ´Hey Draco, I know we´ve been best friends ever since I can remember, but I think I might be in love with you so let´s get this to the next level?´”

“Maybe not that direct.”, Pansy laughed and you joined.

That´s when the door opened, and two tall boys entered the room. When they saw you still sitting there, they headed towards you.

“Lovely Draco, isn’t it? Our girls have been waiting for us.”, Blaise chuckled, while Pansy and you just rolled your eyes.

You always acted as if you hated when the boys referred to you like this, but you secretly enjoyed it and, even though Pansy would never admit it, you suspected, that she enjoyed it just as much.

Blaise fell into the chair next to Pansy, while you lifted your head from the sofa cushion, making some space for Draco. When he had sat down, you placed your head on his lap instead. His hands immediately found their way to your hair, softly stroking it. You sighted comfortably.

Draco and Blaise told you about their training. When at some point the topic changed to some different tactics they wanted to try at the next game, your felt your eyelids getting heavy. You didn’t really try to fight it. Draco´s hands were still in your hair, drawing small circles on your scalp. You inhaled the scent of the body wash he always used after the training and the unique scent of his jersey. Listening to Draco´s and Blaise´s soft voices, you slowly drifted off into sleep.

“Did she really fall asleep?”, Blaise asked.

“Shh, don’t wake her up again.”, Draco hushed him, looking down at you on his lap.

You had actually fallen asleep, now lost in the world of your dreams, unaware of your surroundings and the conversation of your friends.

“This looks so adorable, don’t you think Blaise?”, Pansy purred as she looked at Draco and you.

You were still snuggled up on his lap, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Your breath was slow and steady. Draco on the other hand looked down at you in admiration. He wanted to take this moment in, every second of it. He didn’t dare to move, too scared he might wake you up, except for his hands. They slowly wandered from your scalp to your face, brushing away a loose strand that had fallen into your face, then gently caressing your cheeks.

“Lovely.”, Blaise chuckled. “But careful Draco, you´re drooling already.”

Draco quickly brought up a hand to his mouth, before rolling his eyes and burying it in your hair again. The movement made Pansy and Blaise laugh quietly.

“If you´ll ever tell me again you aren’t in love with her I´ll remind you of this moment.”

Draco tensed under you.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”, he grumbled.

“But why? You two are made for each other. Everyone can see. Everyone except for you two.”

“It doesn’t matter if I love her or…”

“You do.”, Blaise interrupted him.

“Well, maybe…”

“No, for sure.”, Pansy said.

Draco sighted.

“Okay. I am. I am totally crazy about her. As if you didn’t know. But this doesn’t matter. I mean, she doesn’t love me. Not the way that I love her. And I can´t lose her. I just can´t”

Draco looked down at you, smiling softly in your sleep. Hell yes, he loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. He did so ever since he could remember. But unfortunately, you had never seen anything more in him than your friend. It killed him to play pretend, but anything was better than losing you.

Then he heard Pansy chuckling. He looked up, shooting her a deadly glance.

“You don’t actually think it´s funny, do you?”

Pansy was quick to shake her head.

“No. Not at all. It´s just… (Y/n) has told me literally the same thing not even an hour ago.”

“Pansy, that´s nothing to joke about.”

“I´m serious Draco. She had told me just before you came in here. Told me that she is too scared to tell you how she feels because she is too scared to lose you.”

Draco looked down at you, still sleeping, completely unaware of the fact that Pansy had just exposed you. The fact that you might feel the same for him as he did for you, was unimaginable for him. You were such a good person, so pure, everyone loved you. And he was… him.

“You probably misheard her. Or misunderstood. She doesn’t love me. Not like this. And she shouldn’t. She deserves so much better.”

His friends looked at him with pity, fully aware that you were the only thing in Draco´s life he was actually insecure about because of how much he cared about you, but also wondering if their friend could actually be that stupid. In fact, both of you. Normally, the two of you were pretty intelligent people. But when it came to your feelings for each other, you were completely clueless. It might have been funny to watch the two of you secretly admiring each other if it wouldn’t have been that sad.

“But what if she doesn’t want something better, Draco? What if she just wants you?”, Pansy asked, not expecting him to answer.

“Just think about it mate.”, Blaise said, before standing up. “I´ll go to bed now. I´m done for today.”

Pansy was quick to get up too.

“I´ll go too.” She looked at Draco. “What about you?”

But Draco just shook his head, his gaze still lingering on you.

“I can´t wake her up now. I´ll stay.”

Blaise shook his head in incomprehension.

“And you really want to tell us that there´s someone better for her?”, he chuckled, before leaving the room.

Pansy followed shortly after, leaving the two of you alone, closing the door of the common room behind her.

Draco looked down at you again. Your eyes were still closed, your head still rested on his legs.

“What are you only doing to me (Y/n)?”, he whispered, before he continued playing with your hair.

You woke up to the sound of a door slamming. It took you a moment to realize where you were. You were still in the common room, laying on the couch, your head placed on Draco´s lap. You could still feel his warm presence and heard his steady breath. You must have fallen asleep over all the talking of the boys. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but according to the sounds around you, it was only Draco and you who were left in the common room.

You were just about to open your eyes, wanting to ask Draco why he didn’t wake you up, when you heard his voice.

“What are you only doing to me (Y/n)?”, he whispered.

His voice sounded different than usual, much softer and much more vulnerable. From the way, he was careful not to move too much and his low voice, he probably assumed you were still asleep. His hands found their way into your hair once more this evening and you had to suppress a comfortable sight. But you couldn’t help the small smile that crept on your lips and the goosebump all over your body when you felt his hands touching you. You could have fallen asleep again right away, but then, Draco started to talk to you again.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

You felt your cheeks burning at his words and were thankful that the light in the room was dimmed, so Draco wouldn’t be able to notice.

“Of course, I haven’t told you.”, he continued. “There are so many things I have never told you. Even if I wanted to. But I´m way too scared. Now, look at me. I´m such a coward, only able to talk to you when you are asleep.” At this point, you should probably tell Draco you were already awake or at least acting as if you would wake up, but something held you back. You felt as if your eyes were glued, you were not able to open them or give him any other sign you were anything but asleep. You knew it was wrong to listen to him when he thought you couldn’t, but you were way too curious not to do so.

“I really want to tell you. Everything I feel for you. I always intend to do so. I swear to Salazar I do. But as soon as I see you, as soon as you look at me, I forget whatever I wanted to say. Because you take my breath away. And then I´m just staring at you like some idiot. And you don’t even notice. You still think I´m nothing but your best friend. I am (Y/n). We are best friends and we always will be. But you just don’t understand that I want more.”

Your heart was beating so fast in your chest that you thought Draco would notice. But he didn’t.

“You are so smart (Y/n), but when it comes to my feelings for you, you are so clueless. Do you remember at the end of our first year, when you mentioned how amazing Terence Higgs is? He was the seeker back then. Why did you think I wanted to play in this position? Of course, it was great to play against Potter. But the real reason was that I wanted to impress you. And it worked, you were so proud of me. But never anything more. Or back in our third year. You had told me you had a crush on Graham Montague. Why do you think I hexed him that nasty rash into his stupid face?”

Draco chuckled.

“He was in the hospital wing for nearly two weeks. You were so worried about him and I already regretted it, thinking I might have only gotten the two of you closer, but then he screwed it up himself. I have always been so scared of the day you would actually fall in love. The day you would get a man who loves you just as you love him. And I still am. Because I knew that this is everything you deserve but I know that it will break my heart (Y/n). To see you with some other guy who is not me. I have always told myself that this is because we know each other for so long. That you are like a sister to me and I just want to protect you. But that´s not true. You´re nothing like a sister to me. The real reason I´m scared is that I won´t be able to stand it seeing you being in love with someone who isn’t me. I know you deserve this. You really do. And I wish you nothing but to be happy. But why can´t this be with me? You know, sometimes when I look at you, I think you might feel the same. When I see you smile at me, I feel like it is different from the way you smile at all the other boys. Sometimes I still have some hope left that you might want me one day the way I want you. I know you love me (Y/n). But not in the way I love you. You understand? You´re all I´m thinking about, when I wake up and when I go to sleep. When you are with me and when you aren’t. I´m so in love with you (Y/n). I love you so much, it hurts. And you still have no clue about it. You have no idea how much I love you.”

But you did. Now you couldn’t hold back the uncontrollable smile on your face anymore. You opened your eyes flutteringly, blinking up to the boy above you.

“I love you too Draco.”, you whispered.

The poor boy jumped up when he heard your voice, nearly making you fall from the couch. In the last second, some strong hand grabbed you, preventing you from doing so.

“By Salazar (Y/n), you scared me to death.”, Draco breathed out as you sat up again, smiling at him from the side.

You laughed.

“Sorry.”

Draco smiled too, but as he thought about what he had just told you, his heart dropped into his stomach.

“How much have you heard?”, he mumbled, as he felt his cheeks redden.

“Enough I guess.”, you smiled.

Draco cleared his throat and scratched his neck.

“Listen, I really didn’t want you to hear this. I really thought you were still asleep. So if you want to we can just forget everything that happened and continue being friends. I mean, I totally understand if you don’t want to. Because that was really awkward and all, but…”

“Draco.”, you interrupted him.

“If you´ll give me one more chance…”

“Draco!”, you said, now a little bit louder.

The boy stopped and looked at you worriedly.

“Did you even hear what I have told you?”, you chuckled.

“That you heard enough?”, Draco asked.

You laughed.

“Before this.”

“That you are sorry or that you…”

Draco stopped and looked at you with widened eyes.

“You… you love me too?”, he asked in disbelief.

You nodded.

“I love you too, you idiot. Or more precisely,”, you corrected, “I am in love with you too.”

As if in slow motion, a grin started to spread across Draco´s face.

“You love me too.”

“I love you too.”

“And I love you.”

“You love me.”

You both grinned at each other stupidly.

“Can I uhm… can I kiss you(Y/n)?”, Draco asked shyly.

You didn’t even care to respond and just crashed your lips onto his.

It was a messy kiss. Even though you had both known each other’s bodies for so long, it felt strange to feel his lips pressed on yours. But in the best way possible.

And slowly, the two of you started to relax, becoming more and more familiar with this new sensation. Draco´s hands found their way to your face to cup your cheeks. You could feel his rings, which you loved to play with whenever you were bored, cold against your heated skin. You placed your hands on his chest, drawing small circles on it, before they wandered to his collar, pulling him even closer.

One of his hands travelled down your back, helping you stabilise as you swung one leg over his lap, now sitting on top of him, as Draco tried to pull you even closer.

At some point, both of you were finally out of breath. You cupped his face, your thumb brushed over his swollen lips, while his hands wandered restlessly over your back. You pressed your forehead against his, feeling his hot breath hitting your skin. When Draco finally opened his eyes, he looked at you in admiration. You looked at him just the same. Not getting enough on the way of his grey eyes, scanning every centimetre of your face, trying to remember the way your cheeks had reddened and your breath was so much faster than usual. He wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life, every single detail of it, and so did you.

“I love you.”, he whispered.

His lips brushed slightly against yours as he spoke.

“I love you too.”, you smiled.

“And I hate the both of you.”, you heard a voice behind you.

You spun around, seeing Blaise and Pansy standing in the door frame, looking at you. Both of them were grinning, even though Pansy looked not as happy as Blaise.

“Now I owe him five galleons.”, she sighted.

“You betted on this?”, you asked in disbelieve.

Pansy shrugged her shoulders.

“Everyone did. We knew this would happen, it was only a matter of time. I was so close to winning, but Blaise was even better.”

“I know my friends.”, Blaise simply said with a smug grin on his face.

“If you know me so well you know you should better start running if you won´t get out of here in the next five seconds.”, Draco growled, shooting deadly glances at your friends.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to disturb you.”, Pansy laughed and raised her hands in defence. “Let´s go, Blaise.”

“I can sleep somewhere else tonight if you need some privacy.”, Blaise chuckled and ducked quickly as Draco threw a pillow at him.

“Out. Now!”

“Whatever. Have fun you two.”

Blaise winked at you and quickly disappeared before Draco could get up.

You groaned and hid your face in the crook of Draco´s neck.

“That was so embarrassing.”, you mumbled.

Draco just laughed and kissed your temple.

“I don’t care.”

“But now everyone is going to talk about this.”, you sighted.

“Let them talk love. I regret nothing.”

Slowly, you dived up again, looking into his smiling face.

“Neither do I.”, you admitted and his smile only grew wider.

“Well in that case,” Draco placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose, making you giggle. “We might as well take advantage of Blaise´s offer.”

“What offer?”

“Get him out of my room. I would love to spend some more time with my beautiful girlfriend tonight. You know, somewhere we won´t be disturbed.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Girlfriend?”, you asked, the grinning in your voice clearly visible.

Draco looked down, slightly embarrassed.

“Only if you want to be, of course.”

You smiled and pecked his lips.

“I would love to.”

Draco mirrored your smile and pulled you in a deeper kiss once more.

After you parted again, you looked at him playfully.

“Now you have told me something about a more private place?”

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @writingwitch007

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x female reader #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco fluff #draco fanfiction #draco fic #harry potter #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #slytherin reader #slytherin #fanfiction #fanfic

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heesdreamer · 1 year

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SILENCED (1)

MASTERLIST

GENRE ➩ enhypen zombie apocalypse au!

SUMMARY ➩ navigating life 1 year post end of the world was already difficult as you avoided rotting corpses with hefty appetites and groups with various bad intentions. things get harder when you run into a group of survivors, 7 boys who make it impossible to run away.

WC ➩ 10.7k

WARNINGS ➩ all things that zombies bring like gore and death lol, sexual content, main character death etc

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ this was originally a one shot story but under request from people that read my stories before i post it’s going to be a multiple part series! hope you enjoy the first installment as it builds up the world and characters plz let me know your thoughts and guesses (NOT PROOFREAD)

Whenever you pictured the apocalypse, the end of the world that people often talked about over drunken hypotheticals or PG-13 level horror, you pictured it loud.

Thunderous even, a deafening mixture of screams and cries behind the roar of fire and destruction.

You imagined utter chaos and it was never quiet in your head when you did so, a clear built scenario that you never paid too much mind to, considering the absolute fantasy of it all.

So now that you were almost a year deep into the official end of humanity, you were a bit thrown off by how different it was from your previous assumptions. Sure, there had been fire and screams and it definitely wasn’t lacking chaos, but most days you found yourself in complete ear ringing silence.

The soundtrack of your day to day life rarely extended past birds chirping, the crunch of leaves and loose sticks under your boots as you attempted your way through forest filled terrain.

It’d taken you a while to leave Seoul, first being held back by fear and panic and then not wanting to leave the comfort of your known surroundings.

It was easy to figure out how to survive there after a while, knowing when it was safe to leave your apartment and scavenge the nearby stores and when it was time to draw the blinds and let’s hoards pass by undetected.

You’d sit with bated breath as you listened to soft groans and bodies bumping against your front door as they mindlessly made their way down the hallway and eventually off to find something that had made a noise or distracted them.

When you imagined the apocalypse before you hadn’t really considered the different types that could occur. You suppose chemical outbreak or maybe even a world war could’ve been possible, far fetched but possible nonetheless. Maybe even multiple waves of natural disasters, wiping out cities and land masses in its wake.

Somehow, the dead rising hadn’t crossed your mind.

The creatures that had lingered outside your door all those months ago weren’t like anything you could’ve possibly dreamed up in your anxious mind, defying science and all rationality with their mere existence and hunger based drive.

It didn’t bother you as much now, having spent weeks frustrated over the mechanics of their mobility, the reasoning for their immortality.

Now you felt somewhat close to them, these days hunger being your main reason for existence and almost your entire train of thought from the moment you woke up to the second you fell asleep. This was the same thing that had finally driven you from the city, the stores running dry eventually and leaving you no choice but to turn to nature for nutrients.

You thought about this comparison now as you came to a slow stop, lowering yourself down into a crouch as you listened to the branches snapping off in the distance.

The knife in your hand felt heavier than normal, eyes darting around the forest as you took in your surroundings and made a quick escape plan in case it was more than one undead, in case you needed to run and run fast. You didn’t want to leave just yet, having followed a deer into the woods a few hours ago and you were in desperate need of an actual meal.

Shifting your weight onto your heels, you listened to the sounds come closer and then stop when they reached a bush a few yards ahead of you.

Your head was cocking in confusion, grip tightening around the leather of your knifes handle as you waited for it to continue its approach. The bush rattled a few times, keeping your attention tightly locked on it as you held your breath.

“Put it down.” A low voice was sounding behind you and you froze, feeling the cold metal pressed against the back of your head before you even registered the fact that somebody was speaking.

It’d been weeks since you’d heard something so real, something so human other than your own voice and you felt a sudden wave of dizziness at the fact you were clearly stuck.

For a brief moment you considered spinning in place and attempting to disarm him, relying on your own swiftness taking him off guard and beating his reactionary speed that would cause him to pull the trigger before you even saw what he looked like.

This plan was put to rest quicker than you could think it through, the bush rattling again as another figured pushed its way through the thick leaves. You watched his face pull into a wince when he saw you and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Hyung.” He muttered and you heard a sigh from behind you, their plan clearly not entailing this interruption. “She doesn’t have anything on her.”

The one behind you didn’t say anything about this, still not taking his gun off you considering the fact you’d made absolutely no move to lower your own weapon like he had originally instructed you. You remained still despite a wave of fear washing over you at the realization you had nothing of value for them to take other than yourself, a sudden reminder that the apocalypse was scary but being a woman was scarier.

“Go.” He was speaking again, still in that low timbre and the boy from the bush winced again, shaking his head like he wanted to deny the order but also taking an instinctive step forward like he was accustomed to taking them.

You couldn’t get a grasp on their dynamic or what they exactly wanted from you, the boy stood in front of you looked nervous like he had a thin idea of what would happen and he didn’t agree with it. You considered for a second if this was a situation worth trying to talk your way out of, eventually deciding to just let things take their course with your limited options.

“You don’t need to kill her, let’s just leave her here and go back.” He was taking another step forward and he continued to look over your shoulder, eyes only darting down to yours for a second in a silent plea for your cooperation. “She doesn’t know which way we’ll go”

“She was tracking.” The boy behind you was immediately noting and you almost cursed under your breath at the fact he was right. If you wanted to follow them you could, their tracks in the dirt obvious to you now that you’d spent months learning the skill.

“Then we tie her up and leave her, but we don’t need to kill.” He was shaking his head in exasperation and you could hear the boy behind you let out a frustrated sigh.

You had no doubt in your mind that if he was alone he would’ve killed you without a second thought, swift and silent in the way he had approached you from behind and keeping his gun firmly pressed against your skull. Despite your confusion you were silently thankful for the others boys resolve, although it came off as weak to you.

“If you’re going to tie me up in the woods you might as well kill me yourselves.” You were speaking for the first time and both boys reacted immediately.

The one behind you was shifting on his feet to stand firmer, pressing his metal into you while the other in front was giving you a helpless look, clearly upset you had immediately undone any progress he was making for your release.

It was silent for a few moments after that as they looked at each other and you wondered what conclusion they were coming to with just their glances. You hadn’t done yourself any favors in your statement but it was true, leaning you defenseless this close to dark was more of a death sentence than a bullet in your brain.

“We can take her back with us.” The boy from the bush was eventually whispering in a last attempt at keeping you alive, hands coming forward in a plea. “Not as a guest just as a prisoner for now, until we figure out what to do with her.”

You almost laughed at him but decided against it although figuring there was no possible way that would be allowed considering two seconds ago they were about to kill you. However the silence, and lack of immediate rejection, from behind you made you second guess.

You were being pulled to your feet before you even could process him moving again. “You’re explaining it to him, I’m not taking the heat for this.”

His tone was harsh but tired and you were startled at the fact he was actually taking you with, even more fear sinking in as you realized the ‘him’ he was referring to meant they weren’t out here alone. For some reason you hadn’t considered them being with a larger group.

The other boy didn’t say anything but you imagined he gave some form of silent acceptance considering the fact you were suddenly being moved forward harshly with your hands held behind your back.

You hadn’t seen the second boy yet but you were unnerved considering he was able to hold both your wrist together with a single hand, still keeping his gun pressed between your shoulder blades as you moved clumsily through the woods.

From their dynamic you had assumed they were alone, your first mistake, and that he was the leader out of the two of them. Hearing his words about explanation you realized the hierarchy wasn’t that simple and there was clearly somebody they both answered to outside of each other.

“Are your hands okay?” You looked to your left to see the kinder boy following you as you walked, staying at your side with his gun tight in his hands now.

The boy behind you sighed at his question and you weren’t sure exactly how to answer. They were hurting and if you saw any way out of this you would’ve complained, made a sarcastic comment that could potentially get your ass kicked if they weren’t feeling up for jokes at the moment.

Instead you offered him a small nod and turned back to face forward so you didn’t trip.

Your options now were to die here and now, act out and become more of a hinderance than their willing to deal with. Or go along with them and most likely end up being killed eventually anyways, maybe after at least one more night of sleep. You kept your mouth shut for the time being and kept walking.

“We should’ve blindfolded her.” The boy behind you was muttering after an hour or two went by and you vaguely heard the sounds of chatter and fire crackling off in the distance now. “He’s going to lose his shit.”

“Maybe we have Jake talk to him first.” The other one was whispering from beside you as the three of you slowed to a stop, accessing the situation before approaching with a stranger in toe.

It was clear to you now that this group was far larger than you had anticipated. They continued to whisper new names and you listened to the overlapping conversations off in the distance, your heart beating so fast it hurt as you skimmed through the different scenarios this could end in.

While they were distracted you were taking your chance, throwing your shoulder backwards to hit the first boy and taking off in a sprint back the way they had taken you from. You ignored his cry of shock and the others frantic plea for you to stop and come back as you whipped through the trees.

The sun was setting now so any tracking skills you had was completely useless, relying on nothing but your feet and the surrounding terrain as you attempted to put as much distance between you and the others as possible.

You could hear the two who had brought you back with them starting to yell out for help and despite cursing under your breath in frustration, you didn’t blame them and saw it coming before you even ran. You were a stranger and now you knew exactly where they were located, going from a hostage to a threat in seconds.

It had only been 20 minutes of running before you had exhausted yourself from lack of pacing, slamming against a tree and bending over with your elbows to your knees to try and catch your breath.

You could hear shouts in the forest behind you along with groans that brought on the harsh reminder you had more than one enemy in the woods. Their yells and loud feet over leaves and sticks were going to continue to bring more of the dead down on you and you were starting to panic completely.

Before you could think about it anymore or start running again, something heavy was slamming into your side and you were hitting the ground hard.

You flew across the leaves and mud before flipping over onto your back with a shout and scrambling away from whatever had rammed you before you even registered what it was. Another boy, not the one from the bush, was bouncing back to his feet considering he’d also hit the ground after he tackled you and was approaching you swiftly.

He looked furious but you couldn’t tell what type of weapons he had in the dark, kicking you feet out as he gained on you and hitting him in the knee.

A groan fell from his lips and he bent to grab his leg as you pulled yourself off the ground and instinctively reached down towards your thigh for your knife, finding the holster empty and immediately remembering it’d been taken from you hours ago.

He chuckled at your obvious dilemma although it lacked humor, an annoyed expression on his face like you were wasting his time. He was suddenly lunging at you again and although you were fast, he was definitely bigger and you let out a scream as he pinned you back down onto the floor.

Your stomach was pressed tightly against the dirt and you felt his knee land on your back, holding your arms tightly so you couldn’t break free from his hold again.

“Stop fucking moving already.” He was grunting from above you as you continued to thrash and attempt to kick at him despite slowly coming to the realization there was no getting free.

“Hyung.” Another voice was screaming out, obviously following the sounds of your cries and screams to find you. You twisted your head against the dirt to see the boy from the bush approaching you with a few others behind him.

“Sunoo go, you’ve done enough.” Your attacker was spitting from above you and you saw a flash of hurt over the others face, immediately taking a step back towards the rest of the boys who were watching the scene with varying expression.

Sunoo, the one who had brought you here in the first place, was clearly experiencing guilt as he looked down at you but you weren’t sure if it was for you or for causing an issue for his group. One of the boys behind him was reaching a hand up to grab his arm, pulling him backwards softly so he didn’t have to watch.

“Heeseung it wasn’t his fault.” You didn’t recognize the boy who was speaking now, approaching from the side, but you immediately could tell from his low timbre that he was the one who had held you at gunpoint. “I fucked up, we didn’t know what to do.”

“You kill her.” Heeseung was forcing the words out through gritted teeth and you were squirming again underneath his knee, the pain in your back excruciating as you started to find it difficult to breathe. “Or you leave her to the rotters, but under no circumstances do you bring her back to camp.”

Sunoo was glancing at the boy who had said something with a furthering expression of guilt and upset considering the fact those ideas had both been rejected by him. You thought about saying something, about pleading for your life or negotiating a deal where they could bring you far away and leave you somewhere you couldn’t find your way back.

You quickly decided against it considering how serious the boy above you was speaking, also piecing together this was clearly who was in charge and was being discussed in the woods previously.

The others boys were watching in the distance and you were trying to count them to see how outnumbered you were, eventually giving up considering how dark it was and how dizzy you were getting from being pinned against the floor. It was definitely more than you could handle and there was clearly no use in trying to out run them again considering how silently and quickly Heeseung had caught up to you the first time.

You hadn’t even heard him before he came out of the trees and it’d only taken him a second to bounce back onto his feet despite the tackle almost completely knocking the wind out of you.

He had you beat in all aspects and you didn’t feel like poking the bear would be the best move if you wanted to survive the night. That might not be up to either of you however considering the low groans that were starting to fill the forest.

Between the darkness and the almost echoing night air you couldn’t quite tell which direction it was coming from and judging by the way the group of boys starting to look around with their weapons raised, they couldn’t either.

You were being pulled up off the floor before you could think for another second and you sucked in a big breath now that your lungs were no longer restricted, immediately faltering when you were aggressively yanked around as Heeseung started to move towards the boys.

He was flinging you around like a rag doll and you heard him give out a low whistle, the others immediately forming a semi circle defense while everyone started to move in sync through the forest back towards where their camp was. It was a practiced routine and you would’ve been impressed if you weren’t technically their opponent right now.

“Pick your damn feet up.” He was speaking lowly into your ear with irritation and you let out a grunt as he continued to drag you.

“If you gave me a fucking second maybe I could.” You were spitting back and thrashing your torso forward slightly so his grip on your arms would loosen, he didn’t say anything about this and just glared at you as he let you get your balance so you could travel back to the base faster. “Thanks.”

He scoffed but didn’t reply to your sarcastic comment, traveling swiftly in silence on guard in case more than one dead came out from the dark woods.

By the time you got back to the camp, the fires were put out and nobody else was around. You weren’t sure if that’s because it was late or because everybody who lived here was apart of the group trailing behind you.

The camp was mainly made up of tents, some smaller like they were only fit for a pair and some large with big wooden stakes to hold them up. There was a few RV’s you could see from where you were standing and some trucks that could possibly run but for the most part they were large rust buckets littered with blood and dirt residue like the rest of the worlds vehicles.

You were being pulled into the largest tent before you could finish your observation and sat down in a chair furtherest away from the opening. You almost made a comment about them thinking you’d run again but you decided it wasn’t the best idea.

Only two of the boys followed you inside after Heeseung, the one from earlier who had attempted to take the blame off Sunoo and another you didn’t recognize.

“So what’s the plan then?” He was the one who spoke first and you glanced at him from under your messy hair, shifting uncomfortably as Heeseung tied your hands behind the chair tightly.

“First this idiot needs to tell me why he brought her back in the first place.” After he was finished and confident his ties were strong he was circling back around and approaching the familiar one, you couldn’t see his face anymore but his back was tense and straight. “What were you thinking?”

He cocked his head slightly but he didn’t seem deterred or intimidated by Heeseung’s demeanor, only breaking eye contact to spare you a quick glance.

You wondered if he was worried you’d give up the fact it was Sunoo who had practically insisted they bring you back. It was interesting that despite telling him he had to be the one to take the heat originally, he had immediately stepped up for the blame once he realized Heeseung was truly angry.

“She’s a tracker.” He brought his gaze back to the other boy as he spoke calmly. “She would’ve found us if we just left her and I saw no other option.”

The boy you didn’t recognize was looking at you now with a curious expression and you turned your head to look at him for a second, not able to get a good read on what he was thinking or what side of this argument he would be on. You wondered if this was the one mentioned earlier, Jake.

“You should’ve killed her Jay.” He was holding your gaze as he said it and you were taken back by his comment, not expecting him to be so blunt and cold.

Jay, despite being the one to originally put a gun to your head, also looked thrown off by this and faltered in his calm expression for a second and he looked at him. “Are you serious?”

“Jake’s right.” Heeseung shook his head, confirming your previous suspicious and Jay let out a small laugh of disbelief, taking a step away from the two boys back towards the entrance.

“I’m just supposed to blow her brains out right in front of Sunoo, just because there’s a slight chance she’d follow us?” He was holding his hands up in frustration and you shifted uncomfortably in the seat again, causing their heads to turn towards you.

Heeseung was approaching you swiftly and you watched him as he took large steps, gasping when his hand was reaching up to grab a solid chunk of your hair in his tight grip. He pulled slightly to make you look at up him, bending slightly so he could hold eye contact with you.

“How many people are in your group?” He was speaking steadily and low but you could feel the warning in his tone.

You were shaking your head in denial and confusion but stopped when he tightened his grip and repeated himself louder and more agitated. “How many?”

“I don’t have a group, it’s just me.” You were wincing and trying to hold his gaze, failing miserably due to the pain and intensity. Your eyes went over his shoulder to look at Jay and you gave him a desperate look. “Tell him it was just me.”

He didn’t say anything and you didn’t expect him to, only asking out of pure panic and as a last ditch attempt to plead your case. You weren’t afraid to die but if you could help it, it wouldn’t be in some random groups tent just because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Heeseung was loosening his grip on your hair as he looked at you but keeping his hand on the back of your head, a silent warning in case you decided to act out in any sort of way. You watched him with your breath held as you waited for him to say something or react in any sort of way. He was just studying your expression like he was attempting to seek out some trace of a lie on your face.

“You can track.” He was stating suddenly but you took it as a question and nodded repeatedly as best as you could with how close he was to your face. “Can you hunt?”

You were nodding again but slower this time, not quite understanding where this was going. He was looking over his shoulder back at the other boys and Jake gave him an incredulous look that only confused you further before you slightly pieced together what he could he implying.

“You’re not serious.” He was laughing but it was devoid of humor, glancing at Jay who was stony faced as he looked at you. “Heeseung, you can’t be serious right now. Let her stay?”

You felt a wave of sickness pass by as he confirmed what you were thinking and you hoped you didn’t look too appalled visibly. You didn’t like this idea anymore than the thought of them killing you, never being in a group by choice. You didn’t necessarily play well with others and certainly not after they held you hostage and tackled you in the woods.

“She hunts.” He said it like it was obvious and you couldn’t deny the fact it was a valuable asset nowadays as human-made resources slowly died out. You’d noticed it yourself back at your apartment, having to venture out further and further every time you went for a run.

“Riki hunts.” Jake was quickly shutting him down and your interest piqued.

“Riki is learning to hunt but it’s not enough.” Jay was adding into the conversation now, still looking at you as he spoke like he had been since he entered the tent. “It’s almost winter and we can’t keep taking these day long trips every time we’re low…. and we’re always low.”

It was silent for a few moments while they looked at each other in frustration and you once again tried to understand the hierarchy and dynamics at play here, falling short every time. Eventually Jake was scoffing and exiting the tent, slamming the flap down as he left in anger.

Heeseung swiped a hand at Jay, dismissing him too and you didn’t miss the small nod he gave you before turning on his heel and following after the other boy.

That left you and Heeseung alone in the tent and he was taking a step away from you finally, watching you curiously as you took a breath finally and held his gaze tight in yours. You felt a dull ache in your back from his knee and your wrist were screaming for release from your constraints.

“Think of it as a trial.” He was turning away from you for a second as he started to talk and you stared daggers into the back of his head. “I don’t kill you now and in return, you don’t do something stupid.”

You watched him as he started to face you again with a stern look on his face, a hint of youth underneath the hardened exterior, and his eyes shot down to your feet and then back to hold your gaze. “Don’t give me a reason to kill you.”

——

You hadn’t spoken to him again but he didn’t seem too bothered by your silence, only muttering small commands as he dragged you out of the tent and towards one of the RV’s.

You were being left there for the night and you tried not to move much after he cut your restraints with a warning full glance, not wanting him to mistake your movements for another attempt at an escape. Despite not wanting to be there any longer than you had to, your chances were slim out in the woods by yourself.

You figured it wouldn’t hurt to stay a few nights, slipping out whenever you had gained their trust and didn’t need to sleep in a guarded metal bucket.

He’d left you with one of the boys you recognized from earlier in the woods, the one who had gently pulled Sunoo back after he started to get scolded. He looked the opposite of gentle now as he glared at you from the foldable table on the other side of the RV, gun hanging loosely on his lap and he watched you.

“Is there something on my face?” You were eventually muttering, not able to stop yourself as irritation bubbled to the surface.

You hadn’t asked to be brought back here, not even remotely putting yourself in this situation, yet everybody was acting like you were purposely causing issues or trying to harm them.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He was shaking his head and the deep tone of his voice threw you off slightly considering how young he looked.

Despite his youthful features, you could tell he was just as weathered and worn by this new world as everybody else was, you included. His eyebrows were pulled tight and his skin was darker in random sections like he had permanent dirt stains.

He was watching you as you observed him quietly, fidgeting slightly the longer you scanned his features and frame.

He was tall, a lot taller than you and even the other boys you’d encountered long enough to get a good sizing up done. You tried not to focus in on the tears in his clothing or the blood stains surrounding his knees and hands, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than you already were.

“If you don’t want me here, why not just let me go?” You were shrugging like it was a nonchalant thing to ask, feigning ignorance that he clearly didn’t buy judging by his scoff and annoyed expression.

“And get in trouble for no good reason? Are you stupid or do you think I am?” He was letting his gun lean against the table, deciding you were more of a bother than an actual threat.

You shrugged but didn’t talk to him again for a minute of offer him a response to his question, knowing it would just further upset him. Considering the two of you were clearly stuck with each other for the night you didn’t see the point. “I’m Y/N.”

He was sighing as you spoke again, your voice softer than before as you shifted on the uncomfortable half bed Heeseung had sat you down on. You watched him watch you for a few seconds before he finally responded.

“Riki.”

——

You weren’t sure when you had managed to fall asleep, at some point just laying flat on your back and listening to the sounds of the forest off in the distance as they mixed with Riki’s soft breaths on the other side of the RV.

Apparently you had considering the fact you were being shook awake aggressively, jumping up with a start and reflexively striking the person who had woken you.

“Dude what the fuck.” Jake was standing near your bed and shielding his face from any further assault, a pained look on his face. You gave him an incredulous stare at his reaction, not quite sure how he expected you to react to being vibrated awake by a stranger who had encouraged your death last night. “Make yourself useful.”

He was turning and leaving after that quick statement and you groaned, flopping backwards onto the uncomfortable mattress for a second before kicking up and out of the bed, following him outside before he got too far away and you were lost in the camp.

“You’re going out with Heeseung today.” He was explaining as you jogged to catch up with him, trying to ignore the stares and whispers from the other boys as you passed.

“Does that mean I get my knife back?” You were asking him despite already knowing the answer and he shot you a quick glance at the sound of your voice, looking away as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“First piece of advice, don’t ask stupid questions.” He was stepping forward towards a different tent than last night, holding the flap open with a raised arm until you got the hint and ducked underneath it with a muttered word of thanks. He followed behind you and you saw Heeseung and two other boys sat around the tent, gearing up.

Sunoo was there and he faltered for a second when he saw you, another look of guilt washing over his face as his shoulders tensed. You gave him a small nod but it didn’t seem to appease him in anyway.

The other boy wasn’t looking at you, instead focusing on the disassembled gun in his lap as he meticulously cleaned it and cleared his throat. His hands were fast and swift, no hesitation or question in his expression.

“They’re going on a run too.” Heeseung was speaking and you looked up at him to see who he was talking to, surprised to see him already watching you. “We are heading off in the other direction.”

You were nodding and fidgeting in place, not quite sure how to respond to him in a way that didn’t immediately showcase your frustration. You weren’t thrilled about going out into the world with no weapons and no clue if this guy had good intentions, maybe this was his way of killing you as quietly as possible. He obviously wasn’t expecting you to hunt with your bare hands so you weren’t sure why he was bringing you along.

Still, you didn’t bother arguing with him and after a few more minutes of prep you were following him into one of the trucks off away from the main camp.

“There’s a town about an hour away.” He was muttering eventually as he drove, the heavy rumble of the old engine almost putting you to sleep if it wasn’t for the aggressive way the truck jerked every time he amateurly changed gears. “We cleared it for food but at the time we weren’t thinking about other types of supplies.”

You were watching the side of his face as he spoke and he spared you a glance at your silence. “You think there’s still stuff left now?”

“Possibly but it’s worth a shot. There’s a reason you’re out here and not in Seoul just like us, a lower populated town means maybe less survivors passed by when everything went to shit.” He was sighing as he spoke but seemed hopeful as he tried to convince you.

He wasn’t wrong for the most part, you had traveled to a more rural area in hopes for less of the dead and more towns left undiscovered. You figured if this didn’t end soon then there would be no place left that wasn’t completely cleared out.

Heeseung was large and sturdy but you didn’t miss his sunken in cheeks and darkened eyes, clearly lacking vital nutrients and a healthy lifestyle. It wasn’t that jarring considering you hadn’t met anybody who was doing particularly well but being in a group with larger numbers certainly made things a bit more uneasy.

You took a second to study him as he drove, trailing your gaze from his black long sleeve down to his matching cargo pants. His weapon holster was tightly pulled around his thigh similarly to how yours normally sat and you were suddenly reminded how defenseless you currently were.

“How do you know I’m from Seoul.” You didn’t necessarily feel like talking to him anymore than you had to but if you were going to be stuck with him in charge of your life, maybe some small talk wouldn’t hurt.

“Riki.” He spoke bluntly but it answered your question considering the fact you’d spent most of the night talking to the younger boy after the tension between you had calmed down. “Nice to hear you actually talk occasionally.”

“Maybe I’m more inclined to speak with people who haven’t tried to kill me.” You were quipping back and he let out a small chuckle at your sudden change in tone, not taking any actual offense.

You understood why he had done what he did and he knew you understood but that didn’t mean you were happy about the way things had went down and were continuing to go. You didn’t want to be with them and that much was clear but at some point he had figured if you had somewhere to go, you would’ve put up more of a fight.

The truck jerked particularly hard around another turn onto a dirt road and he swore under his breath, yanking at the shift knob until it slightly smoothed out again.

He gave you an awkward glance out of the side of his eyes and you tried not to chuckle at his terrible manual driving skills. You figured eventually everybody would adapt to things they hadn’t needed to before but it was slightly amusing to know most of the world was desperately trying to adjust to things you’d always had available to you.

You didn’t bother telling Heeseung you could drive a stick shift better than anything else, having been taught in one back in high school. He didn’t need to know how good you were at setting camouflaged rabbit traps or that you weren’t half bad with a bow. Your skill set was better kept a secret until you could get as far away from this group as possible.

By the time you were finally pulling up to a small town, if you could even call it that considering it was just a few old wooden buildings and shops in a U shape, Heeseung seemed to have relaxed a bit.

“We’ll be in and out.” He was carefully instructing as you got out of the car and you nodded although you were feeling frustrated about having no weapon. “Stay close by in case you run into an issue okay?”

Despite your upset and undeniable feeling of vulnerability, the run was going smoothly for the most part. You were quick to enter buildings behind Heeseung as he checked for undead and you had actually managed to get a bag full of supplies that could help the group through the winter.

Your guard was lowering slightly considering you’d come across little corpses, the small town seemingly sheltered from the horror the rest of the world had been subjected to.

Neither of you talked much, the mission being at the front of your minds and you were thankful for the lack of distraction.

It wasn’t until you were on your fourth building, some old auto shop with a connecting garage, that you realized how mistaken you had been. Heeseung was still outside the front door, fidgeting with something old and rusty that you couldn’t quite place.

Whatever it was, he seemed determined to unearthed it from the weeds that had grown around it and you impatiently shoved past him into the store. He offered a small scoff as you pushed through but didn’t bother chasing after you or demanding you wait, also making the mistake of being relaxed.

The second you entered the shop and the door closed behind you, a small gap left open considering the door was also subjected to the growing nature that almost converted the entire building, you smelt it.

Throughout the many months you’d been getting accustomed to the apocalypse and all it’s trials and faults, you still hadn’t adjusted to the overwhelming stench that came along with awaken corpses. It was especially murderous when they moved in masses or were left rotting since the start.

“Heeseung.” You were calling out in a hushed voice, slowing down your steps and looking around the store with confusion. You ignored the fact it was the first time you’d said the boys name and how casually it slipped out, listening in to his small hum of acknowledgment from outside. “Do you smell that?”

You could hear him setting down the metal thing he was obsessing over and pushing the door open swiftly, looking at you with a worried expression.

Before he could speak or confirm your senses, you were hitting the floor with a shriek.

It took you a second to realize why you had fallen but the moment you started to think straight again you could feel the tight bony hand wrapped around your ankle, having dragged you down onto the dust covered floor. You sucked in a sharp breath and scrambled back the best you could, kicking at the walker who had gripped your pant leg.

You could see it now, halfway stuck underneath one of the fallen shelves and desperate in the way it’s jaws snapped around nothing.

You were still kicking it when you realized the groans suddenly starting up were far too loud to be coming from the single walker in front of you, understanding with a wave of panic that your shriek had clearly awaken whatever amount of dead it was that was causing such an odor.

“Fuck.” Heeseung was entering the store swiftly and rushing over to you, immediately stomping the rotted skull of the dead that was holding you with his boot.

Ignoring the amount of blood and brain matter that sprayed out on your face at his action, you accepted his hand and let him pull you up and off the floor.

There was no time to dust yourself off as you both heard crashing and groans coming from the connected auto garage, clearly full of dead that had been starving for far too long. They were pouring out in pairs from the small doorway and you and Heeseung stood frozen as you tried to think of a way out of this.

They were coming from both sides of the aisle, filling up the only exit route back to the open door and sufficiently trapping you in the store.

Your fingers were twitching and reaching down to your empty holster, cursing once you remember you had no weapons on you and turning your head to glare at Heeseung who was already watching you with a panicked expression.

His eyes shot behind your head and you almost jumped out of the way, expecting something dead and hungry behind you, before he was reaching a hand out to grip your arm and pull you with him.

You didn’t object despite your confusion and you followed him swiftly, groaning loudly when you understood he was leading you towards the back of the shop where a small maintenance closet was hidden behind some tool carts and brooms.

“Hurry up, help me.” He was shouting back at you as he started to throw things out of the way and you unfroze, helping him clear the way to the door.

You were spinning around once finished to see the hoard closing in on you, a flustered shout pushing past your lips. “Heeseung.”

“I’m trying.” He groaned, his leg propped up against the wall as he kept trying to pry open the old rusted door with all his weight.

Finally, he was stumbling back in your direction and you grabbed his arm to stop him from falling into the awaiting arms of the dead that were now only a few feet from being able to grab onto you. He was immediately catching his footing and ushering you into the closet before closing it tightly behind the two of you.

You sat with bated breath and you waited to see if it would hold, the bodies of the corpses smacking against it as they clawed and practically shrieked with hunger.

Heeseung was holding the doorknob tightly so it wouldn’t spring back open and although it was dark, flashes of light that managed to break past the dozens of shoes outside the door, revealed to you his fearful expression that didn’t help calm your nerves.

You opened your mouth to speak and ask him about what you were supposed to do but his eyes were shooting to your in a glare, his free hand coming up to cover your mouth as he shushed you.

Your eyes widened at the fact he was suddenly touching you, looking down at the hand over your face and then back up at him as he swiftly ripped it away and shook his head, gesturing to the door like you were stupid for trying to make any noise.

He didn’t look at you again as you furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance but nodded in understanding, realizing he wanted to wait until they had settled before showing any sign of life. They could definitely smell you and had no reason to give up, only driven by hunger, but you figured eventually something would come by and distract them.

Which gave you some hope that you could get out of here safe, not wanting to die stuck in a smelly auto shop closet with Heeseung, but you also let out a small sigh knowing you’d be waiting here for a long time.

For the first time since you’d been rushed inside the small space, you took a second to look around. It was tiny, so small that if Heeseung was standing straight and not bending slightly to keep the door held shut, his shoulder would be touching the other wall.

To make matters worse the opposite width wasn’t any bigger, the toes of your boots smushed against his with no room to scoot backwards or make less contact.

Eventually he was slowly letting go of the metal door knob, moving barely an inch every ten seconds as you both waited to see if they were going to suddenly rip the door open and devour you whole. It was clear after a few minutes that it was sturdy enough to keep you hidden behind it for now, you’re not sure you could say the same about the next few hours however.

Heeseung sucked in a much needed breath and leaned backwards against his side of the closet, his knees pointing out towards you in result.

He was watching you with a curious expression and you glared at him in silence, not sure if you were allowed to talk yet or if it would result in his large hand over your mouth again.

“In and out.” He was whispering it so quietly it almost looked like he mouthed it. You could still barely see him but you could hear the smile in his voice as he joked about your failed plan, the light catching his eyes as he peered down at you. “You good?”

You were nodding but shifting uncomfortably, suddenly remembering how close of a call you’d had now that things were calmed down enough for you to think properly.

“It really had me for a second.” You whispered back to him and shook your head, avoiding his gaze as you looked at the vibrating door. “I shouldn’t have let my guard down like that, it was stupid.”

“Then we’re both stupid.” He was muttering back and you tried not to be too curious why he was being so nice to you despite his harsh leadership within the group. “At least you weren’t alone.”

You were scoffing and shaking your head, his boot scooting forward towards yours in a warning to keep your noises at a low volume. He couldn’t exactly make out your expression considering you were placed lower than him and getting less light on your face but he could practically feel the death stare you were sending his way.

“It’s easier to be alone.” You were countering in a stern tone. “If I’m stupid alone I’m just dead but if I’m stupid in a group then I’m guilty. It’s on my hands.”

“It would’ve been on mine if you’d gotten bit back there.” He was cutting you off and you stopped abruptly, looking at him with parted lips. “But the same thing goes for if I die out here, if I don’t get back to camp, back to my family then that’s on me too. Not trying just because you’re alone isn’t an excuse.”

His tone was heavy now and you felt bad for getting him so frustrated considering how carefree he’d been for most of the day, possibly enjoying not having to direct orders and commands for a few hours. You imagine that if he was able to he would’ve stormed off and left you with his heavy statement.

Instead the two of you sat in the silence of what he had said and listened to the groans only a few inches away from your heads.

You were shifting suddenly and he looked back at you in question when you accidentally bumped against his stomach, not having room to move your arms anywhere.

“Is that why you lead them then?” You tried to keep your voice soft and questioning, not wanting him to mistake you for accusatory.

You didn’t want to fight with him again especially since he had saved your life not too long ago, potentially twice with his quick thinking to get the two of you into the closet.

“It just happened.” He was whispering back and his tone was slightly guarded. “We knew each other before and when.. everything went to shit they came to me one by one.”

“I was scared shitless, I mean sure I’ve chauffeured them around for a few years and I’d handle calling in our takeout orders but now I’m supposed to keep them alive?” He sounded flustered and you listened to him quietly, letting him talk.

For some reason it hadn’t occurred to you to wonder how long they’d known each other. They seemed comfortable and they worked fast and efficiently like they had experience with it but you’d seen similar things in groups who met only at the beginning of all this, being forced to learn how each other works to survive.

You briefly remembered Riki saying something about high school and Jay but you didn’t fully make the connection, maybe you just didn’t want to.

But listening to Heeseung so earnestly talk about the responsibility he carried as the leader and the eldest you felt a wave of understanding, immediately followed by the desire to run far far away from the inevitable care that comes along with a group this tightly knit.

“We left Seoul the first week in Jungwon’s old van.” He was continuing on and when you raised an eyebrow in question he was nodding in realization. “That’s the one who was cleaning the gun, he’s out with Sunoo right now.”

“How many more of you is there?” You hoped he didn’t think you were asking him in an attempt to get information on the group that would assist you in your escape, although you halfway were.

“Just Sunghoon, I don’t think you met him.” He was mumbling and you thought for a second before shaking your head.

That made a total of seven and a wave of fear washed over you at the thought. As of now you were leaving no matter what and as of now they weren’t going to let you just go easy, meaning in some form this was your opponent. Seven men who were capable and seemingly willing to kill you if necessary with the exception of one or two.

Heeseung’s silence made you think he knew what you were thinking and he shifted so he was standing again, no longer leaning against the wall.

This put him even closer to you and you held your breath at the proximity, only letting it out in a moment of shock when his hand was coming up suddenly and touching your face like it had earlier.

You were jumping backwards, at least as far as you could in the tight space and he was shushing you with furrowed eyebrows and a finger to his lips, glancing at the door in worry and then back to you as he continued what he was originally doing.

It took you a few seconds to remember the walker he had stomped on, to remember the blood and rotted skin that had splattered all over you.

Heeseung was gently wiping your face off with his hands, using his sleeves at times for the areas that were particularly covered. You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment, his large hands stiffening for a second when he realized how awkward this situation was.

He was taking his hands away swiftly and clearing his throat, shuffling backwards again and avoiding looking at you. It was silent for a few minutes and you felt suffocated by it.

“You didn’t lose anybody.” You broke the thick air by speaking again and he flinched before looking down at you. “Since Seoul, did you lose anybody?”

His eyes flashed with something heavy and sad and you imagined he was thinking about his family, slightly curious why he had left without them and what had happened before the other boys showed up alone at his doorstep. Then he was shaking his head to answer your question.

“Then maybe you’re more fit to lead than you thought.”

——

“Was he scared?” Riki’s voice was ringing in your ear again and you groaned softly, leaning back on your pillow and trying your hardest to ignore his constant questions. “I mean, I’ve never seen Heeseung scared. What was it like? Did he cry a little bit?”

After a few more hours had passed in the closet, your suspicion was correct and eventually something passed by that caught a few of the undeads attention. The stragglers had wondered outside the auto shop and the rest immediately followed the noise and movement.

Heeseung and you had waited another half an hour just to be sure before slipping out finally, backs aching from standing straight and rigid for so long.

You’d gotten in the truck with the supplies you found earlier in the day and headed back to the camp, not wanting to risk your luck any further and needing to beat the night as the sun slowly set.

The boys had affectionately greeted the two of you when you arrived, or more so Heeseung as you hovered awkwardly behind and watched them all. You saw a boy you didn’t recognize and figured he was Sunghoon, finally having faces to all the names.

They all carried different expressions of worry and upset and you watched them scan his skin for injuries or scratches, eyes crinkling with relief when they saw he was safe and returned to them. Your heart felt heavy and your stomach turned as you watched the display of care and love towards each other.

You’d caught Jake’s eye for a second and he narrowed his at you, causing you to swiftly give him a nod and slink back into the RV you’d been assigned to.

The same RV that you were now groaning in as you listening to the young boy, the youngest boy as you had found out yesterday, talk your ear off with questions about what it was like to be stuck in a closest with his hyung.

“He cried like a baby.” You were muttering and he laughed softly before shaking his head, able to tell you were lying to him. “I’m serious, my shoulder was soaking wet by the time we got out of there.”

“You know you’re funny when you’re not glaring at me.” He was remarking and you scoffed softly. “The others don’t joke around anymore so I don’t either.”

He sounded younger than he looked when he said it, voice steady like he didn’t even process the weight and sadness of what he was saying. Maybe he’d already started to forget what it was like to be a teenager with no responsibilities.

For a second you zoned out picturing him before the apocalypse, a younger Riki wearing a school uniform and excitedly chatting with the older boys. Maybe he was shy or maybe he was just as talkative and mischievous as he seemed to get the few times you’ve talked to him.

You were abruptly broken out of your daydreams when you heard shouts coming from outside the RV, immediately sitting straight up in the bed and locking eyes with Riki as his widened in fear and concern.

As far as you knew, everybody had turned in for bed. Heeseung didn’t like any one leaving their tents after dark, a heavily suggested curfew seeming to be followed religiously and you couldn’t think of good a reason for the boys to be disobeying this.

You were standing up swiftly and making your way towards the small door, being stopped by a hand wrapped around your arm.

Riki was shaking his head with a panicked expression, pushing you back into the RV. “What are you doing? You can’t go out there.” His voice was urgent and he took a step between you and the door.

His protective expression was making you feel sick and your expression turned stony, moving to push past him but stopping as the door was flung open without either of you touching it.

Sunghoon was stood panting, looking up at you guys from the surface level. He took a step up the RV’s metal steps and glanced behind him with a hard look on his face. Now that the door was open you could hear the shouts louder and also the groans that accompanied them.

“We have to go.” He was rushing out and your mouth parted slightly, looking between him and back to Riki who Sunghoon had been watching since he opened the door.

The younger boy was shaking his head as his shoulders dropped and you felt a wave of upset and guilt for him wash over you, knowing this had been his only home for the past year considering the fact he wasn’t permitted to runs as often as the older boys.

“I’m sorry Rik, there’s too many we don’t have any choice.” Sunghoon was shaking his head sternly but his eyes were soft as he looked at his friend. “You need to pack and we have to go, both of you.”

His eyes moved over to you hesitantly and he lost the affection in his gaze, you didn’t take any offense to it and nodded your head as he turned to rush back to help the others buy some time. You touched the younger boys arm and he jumped slightly before looking down at you with a heavy expression.

“Let’s pack your stuff okay?” You whispered and your unusually gentle tone just made him feel worse, curling in on himself slightly as he nodded and started to grab what little belongings he had scattered around the RV in an attempt to make it feel more like a home.

He was done quickly and you were getting ready to exit the vehicle and join the others when he was grabbing your arm again to stop you.

You almost turned to scold him for wasting time and not letting you go but stopped in your tracks when you realized he was holding a gun out in between your bodies, gesturing for you to take the weapon.

You considered saying no for a few seconds, knowing Heeseung and the other boys wouldn’t be happy with you for accepting and most likely would also scold Riki for giving it to you in the first place. The need to survive overtook this and you took the gun from him, nodding in appreciation.

The second you stepped outside you understood why the only option was to abandon the camp. The dead were pouring in from every side of the forest, their groans mixing together and attracting more and more every minute that passed.

Your eyes were darting around try and spot the other boys but you couldn’t see them in the chaos, feeling frustrated and panicked as you heard Riki’s breathing getting more strained from beside you.

Eventually you spotted Sunoo at the same moment he saw the two of you as well as he was rushing over to you with a serious expression, eyes bouncing around to check if it was safe to stop and talk.

“They’re out past the river.” He was explaining swiftly and you nodded despite having no idea how to get there. It seemed to make sense to the two boys however because they were quickly turning on their heels and disappearing into the woods, looking back a few times to make sure you were following behind them.

Sunoo was running ahead of both of you and your heart clenched watching him take out a few stragglers that were making their way towards the over run camp, his knife effortlessly going into their rotted skulls as he kept rushing through the woods.

Eventually the groans got quieter and you could hear the light splash of a stream, catching sight of the other boys huddled together before the saw you.

“They’re here.” Jake was announcing when he picked his head up and saw the three of you approaching. He stood up and rushed to meet you halfway, checking Sunoo and Riki for injuries before his eyes landed on you.

His gaze trailed down to the gun clenched in your hands and for a second you thought he’d take it from you, demand you leave or maybe try to kill you here and now so they didn’t have another thing to worry about. Instead he took a step closer and briefly scanned over your body, similar to the way he was doing to the others.

“I’m okay.” You breathed out and you weren’t sure why you said it, just wanting to get his concerned look off of your frame as soon as possible. He nodded his head but lingered on your for a second before turning and walking back over to the others.

You followed behind him to see what the boys were surrounding, watching as they all pointed at a crinkled map and spoke in hushed voices. They carried bags on their shoulders and you vaguely noted that Jungwon’s was full of the guns he was always taking such intense care of.

“We’ve been that way man.” Jay was sighing and shaking his head and he pushed Jake’s finger away and moved it further down the map. “From here to here it’s not clear, dead ends or there’s just nothing left.”

“Well we can’t go north.” Sunghoon was countering and you could see a large red X over the area he was referring to. You wonder how long they’d been planning an escape plan with no luck.

You listened to them talk for awhile with a sick feeling in your stomach, wondering if you should help and throw out the idea that was brewing in your mind. On one hand this was your chance to escape considering they had no home to even protect anymore, you could sneak out or hold the gun in your hands to one of their heads until you were far enough away that they wouldn’t follow.

This could be your only opportunity to be back on your own, not owing any sort of debt to a group that was dealing with their own conflict.

Riki was looking back at you suddenly with a worried expression and that thought was immediately out the window as you let out a small sigh, upset at yourself for what you were about to do, before stepping up towards the boys.

“I know a place.” You were rushing out and they all turned to look at you. Heeseung’s eyes were softening at your sudden want to help and you nodded at him. “It’s a few hours south but I stayed there for a few weeks before I kept moving away from that area.”

“You think it’s still there?” Jungwon was asking, his first time speaking to you directly since you’d arrived to their group. His voice wasn’t as harsh as his glare though and he seemed genuinely curious, not suspicious of your motives.

“It was gated.” You shrugged and bent down, bumping into Heeseung’s side and causing him to sway in his crouched position. You were touching the map and felt relieved to see the area you were referring to wasn’t crossed out or circled. “It might not be but it’s worth a shot. Plus we don’t have many options.”

“We?” Heeseung’s voice was soft from beside you and you turned your head to look at him, flushing slightly when you realized how close to each others faces you were.

“Yeah.. we.”

——

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weirdthinkingdragon · 10 months

Text

Yandere Werewolf Idea

yandere male werewolf x gn reader

Thinking of a werewolf who specifically becomes yandere for someone who doesn't use colognes, perfumes, or even essential oils.

Warnings: a bit of self negativity, forced relationship (but that comes with most yandere stuff, let's be honest)

I know the idea of werewolves noses being more sensitive to smells even in their human form. That also makes me think how I'm super sensitive to those three types of things and don't wear them because even the lightest bit on friends next to me makes my eyes water and sting severely, and don't wear makeup from sensory issues of AuDHD.

Anyway, back to my thought. A man who is secretly a werewolf who is incredibly attractive to most of the public.

of course, every date or so he's been on they get all dressed up and make themselves smell good to impress, right? not for him. Every time he has to try his hardest not to recoil at the stench of whatever they put on. He can barely even hold down a few bites of his meal with them.

Every time it leads up with him asking them the reason about the smell and if they'd ever possibly put it on less often. He always gets answers of they like how it makes them smell, so probably not. and that's the last he really tries to date them.

that is until he finds a rather intoxicating smell that doesn't overpower him in a bad way. A more natural scent! He just has to meet you!

It leads to him befriending some of your friends to get more on you and finally meet you once he knows you won't get away. he wont let such a precious thing go.

Whenever you two start hanging out as really close friends, he has to hold back everything in himself to not shove his face in your neck and stay there as long as possible. Something snapped in him, and he absolutely refuses anyone else. Even other werewolves he's tried to date, but him and them just never felt what was needed to know it's meant to be.

the only problem is you refuse to date him. You've seen the way others glare at you whenever one of his arms are behind you or he grabs your hand, interlocking fingers. or even how close he likes to sit with you over anyone else. You think he can do better than you. You barely put effort into your looks most of the time after all. An ex friend even said standing next to him you look like a troll. They're still missing from several months ago.

He's not ignorant of the glares either, making him glare back at them. A feral and threatening glare that would make even the most hardened warrior shiver from.

He finally snaps though when people start trying to ask you out, and you agree to them but not him???

He follows them late at night and rips them to shreds. Literally. they're so torn up it's impossible to recognize them. It's then he also decides to show you who he truly is.

He easily enters your house from a key you gave him, still covered in blood. It's past midnight.

You immediately smell the copper and manage to sit up where you were, worried for a second that he was injured. But there were no visible wounds that would show that much blood.

You didn't even get a chance to move before he lunged and tackled you down faster than a fox with a rabbit. A drop of still-wet blood falls down onto your forehead as you look into predatory eyes a way you've never seen before. Fear enveloping your whole body that you're about to be killed next. His ragged breathing being the only thing in the silence.

You close your eyes to brace for it, but nothing happens. A large hand cups the side of your face. The wet, sticky texture of the clotting blood touching you as well.

He lets out an inhuman growl. "I tried to do this the right way. To have you be mine. For us to be happy together. I need you to be with me. I'm not giving you a choice." His hand grows to have sharp claws on it, but he doesn't fully transform. He doesn't need to. The inhuman growls rumbling in his chest were all you needed to know.

"You know what I am, and I want you. Only you. I'll rip who ever tries to get between us ever again to shreds. Just like I did them. And don't even think of trying to run. I'll easily find you no matter how far you get. And who would believe you a werewolf exists? heh."

He leans down and gives a surprisingly gentle kiss on your lips, sealing your fate.

#yandere werewolf #yandere werewolf x you #yandere werewolf x reader #yandere x reader #x reader #yandere x you #yandere idea #yandere #yandere supernatural x reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 days

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WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to get me a replacement mask?

So I and my girlfriend (both adults) are in a long-distance relationship and live on different continents but visit each other for periods of weeks to months at a time. As background context, my girlfriend is notoriously bad with money - she's owed me over $1500 for half a year now after I covered some big expenses for her when she was unable to save in time, though I've told her there's no particular deadline for giving it back and to just do it when she's able, but she's also borrowed money from her parents, she's paying off a credit card debt, and despite having a full-time job she seems completely unable to save anything substantial and is constantly buying things.

We both like a certain musician, and this shared interest in the musician is actually how we met in the first place and bonded. They've dropped some merch in the past, and it always sold out within 5-10 minutes, and they're borderline impossible to get now unless you a) are lucky enough to find another fan who's giving theirs away, which is super rare because of how hard they are to replace, or b) are willing to fork out thousands of dollars for a resold one on some dodgy site somewhere. One of the merch items I got from one of those drops was a facemask, and my girlfriend has a matching one - I can't remember if it was something I bought for her, since I did that with some merch if I got there in time, or one she bought herself. It became a huge comfort item for me - I'm both autistic and have avoidant personality disorder, so I'm almost always in some kind of mask to hide my face, and this one being connected to a special interest as well as comfortable and a perfect size (and goes with all my clothes!) made me super happy. Last time she visited, we joked around about having identical masks but that it was easy to tell which one was hers because it had makeup stains all over the inside.

As she packed to leave, I mentioned that I couldn't find my mask anywhere and asked if she'd picked mine up as well as hers by accident, so she dug through her bags and said she didn't have it, only hers. I was kinda disappointed but I figured it'd turn up sooner or later so I accepted it, and she flew back home.

A few days later, she let me know she'd unpacked and discovered she actually did have both our masks. I asked her to send it back to me, and she said she would.

Fast forward a few months, I'd asked a few more times, and she always said she would soon. Eventually, when I asked one time, she told me she'd lost it. Her mother had tidied her entire room and she no longer had any idea where either of our masks were. I was kind of frustrated so I asked why she couldn't have just sent it over when I initially asked, and she snapped back that she couldn't afford it, which doesn't make much sense to me because she definitely does have enough to send over a flat envelope, which a fabric face mask would easily fit in just like a letter.

It's been a few months since then and I've been looking and looking for any kind of replacement, but all I can find are knock-off versions that are made from different materials or don't look the same. I did see one resold for like $20 ages ago, so it definitely happens, but it's so rare.

WIBTA if I told my girlfriend I'm expecting her to replace the one she lost even if it's putting more financial pressure on her? I feel really dumb for getting so upset about a mask, but it was one of my favourite belongings and it's genuinely upsetting that it was taken and lost.

To get out ahead of any comment saying it, I have full 100% faith that she did not do it intentionally and she didn't sell it or anything like that. She wouldn't have even thought about the possibility of doing that and I absolutely believe it was an accident and she just grabbed both masks or had been holding onto mine for me and forgotten it was in a bag etc.

#aita #am i the asshole

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lizard-on-a-window-pane · 1 year

Note

Remus lupin x reader

Maybe they see each other at a party after not seeing each other all summer and they end up either kissing or talking all night or both or more its up to you :)

hi, anon! so sorry this took me forever to write! i really liked the idea and wanted to write a full fic but had not had time. i don’t know why it turned so angsty lol but i hope you like it, and feel free to request something fluffier if you wanted that!

pairing: Remus x reader

summary: You reunite with Remus for the first time since he rejected you months ago, but perhaps there was more to be said.

tags: friends to lovers-ish, fluffy angst

word count: 2.3k

You’d know that head of hair anywhere. Your stomach lurched as you walked further into the room, the party starting to pick up to full force. His back was turned to you so you couldn’t see his lovely face, but his height and his messy brown locks that you just wanted to run your fingers through were impossible to miss. Remus. Your Remus… No, not your Remus, you had to remind yourself. Remus that you were impossibly in love with. Remus that you had spent every morning after a full moon comforting since you’d found out about his furry little problem. Remus that had rejected you almost three months ago just before the summer, the last time you’d seen him. Now, here you were, at a party you didn’t even want to come to in the first place, dragged lovingly by Lily who said you moped at home too often. She was right, of course, but you loved moping at home, and why put such a limit on doing the things you love?

You’d been friends with Remus for years before telling him about your feelings. Those feelings had started almost as soon as you’d met him and just grown from there as you got to know him. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, always thought it a bit superficial, a thing for movies that didn’t want to take the time to develop full characters. But with Remus it had been pretty damn close. But to you, it had been very far from superficial, you loved him upon seeing him because of everything his appearance told you about him.

The way he didn’t seem to put too much effort into his appearance, his hair messy, his clothes casual. You loved his jumpers, the way they looked on him so attractive and the idea of wearing one of them with his smell still clinging to it so enticing. You loved the way he looked as though somehow he was simultaneously completely in his own world, in his own head, but at the same time observant and sensitive to the world around him. This wouldn’t have seemed to you something you could tell just from looking at a person, but looking at Remus, really looking, you felt you could see into his soul. His mesmerizing brown eyes told you so much. When he was reading, as they scrolled across page after page, you wished desperately that you could see inside his mind, certain that the way he imagined any story would be its best possible version. Those same eyes, though, looked upon his friends with such love, such care that you knew his heart was as brilliant as his mind even though he was a solitary person.

You’d gotten on pretty quickly too. Before Remus, crushes had always made you freeze up. You never knew what to say, were afraid of embarrassing yourself. But with Remus, it had been the opposite. You inevitably opened up when you were with him, were the most comfortable, the most yourself.

Well, you had been anyway. That felt as far from true as possible now. Seeing him at the party had you paralyzed in place and desperate to snap out of it in time to run and hide before he saw you.

“You should talk to him. I know how much you miss him, and I’m sure he misses you too. James says so, and how wouldn’t he with how much you too like each other?” you heard from beside you. You turned to Lily and gave her your best “are you absolutely mad?” face.

“Oh, c’mon, y/n. Remus is nice… well, at least nice to you. I’m sure he won’t make it awkward.”

“How could it possibly not be?” you replied. “I can’t do it, Lils. Or, I don’t want to. I don’t know. Either way, I’m so not going over there.” “Well, that’s alright…” You were surprised at how easily Lily was letting it go; it wasn’t like her, but you were happy for the slack. “…because he seems to be coming over here,” she finished, grinning as if this was amusing.

Your head shot in Remus’s direction, and sure enough, he had turned toward you. Your eyes met, and you wouldn’t ‘ve been able to name the feeling that shot through your entire body in that moment. Was it pleasant? Unpleasant? Fear? Love? It was like it was everything at once. Very like Remus to make you feel so much, to make feeling such an intense experience, even after all this time… it was infuriating.

When he looked at you, his usually stoic eyes softened, and he opened his mouth as if to say something to you even though he was still quite too far, especially with how loud the surroundings were. You both stood still in place, staring at each other from across the rather large room. He took the first step. But as he did so, you turned away quickly and shoved past crowds of people in your desperate shot for the door.

You made it outside, and the fresh, cold night air was a pleasant punch. It recalibrated the world, centered you, brought you back to your body, away from the pulsing music and your own pulsing heartbeat in your ears. You breathed it in like the sweetest medicine.

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire out here in the cold. You knew you must be blushing madly from the combination of embarrassment but especially sadness and anger at your almost-encounter with Remus. Bringing your cold fingers to your warm cheek, you felt a tear there you had not been conscious of shedding. You wiped it away quickly and took a long, stabilizing breath. You were finally calming down when you heard it.

“Hey…” His unmistakable, dulcet voice just behind you.

You closed your eyes tight but said nothing and didn’t move.

He waited a few beats without saying anything more, but his presence behind you was heavy with anticipation and there was absolutely no doubt in your mind that he was still there.

“Can we talk?” he asked, more of a whisper this time, closer. You took another deep breath then turned to face him.

He was so beautiful. The scars across his face and peaking out of the collar of his jumper were particularly salient in this moonlight; his skin was still pale despite most others’ summer tans. His fingers were playing with his too-long sleeves; he was chewing his bottom lip, waiting for you to answer him. You gave a slight nod.

His tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit at that, and he took another step closer to you.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Fine,” you responded, a bit too quickly.

He paused, probably hoping you’d say something more, but when you didn’t he just gave a bit of a nod as he tried on.

“How was your summer?” “Good.”

A beat. “Look, y/n…I know we left things in a kind of weird place last time we saw each other, but —“ Your scoff cut him off.

Now you waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, you said, “that’s a nice way to phrase being rejected after admitting feelings that terrified you and losing your closest friend in the process.”

He looked dumbstruck at your directness. His lips tightened into a harsh line and he exhaled sharply out of his nose before whispering, “It doesn’t have to be that way.” “No?” you asked, a bit more harshly than you intended. “Which part?”

“We can still be friends,” he said kindly.

You couldn’t help but scoff again.

“You can’t be serious?” you asked with a disbelieving laugh.

He opened his mouth to respond but closed it on words that never came. He looked away from you for the first time, up toward the sky, chewing his lip again, burying his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat loudly, and you couldn’t tell if he was trying to keep from crying or trying desperately to come up with something to say, but there was no missing how upset he was. You felt a pang of regret at this realization. You were upset too, heartbroken, but you still cared so deeply for him and couldn’t stomach the idea of causing him pain.

“Remus…” you whispered. His eyes shot directly back to yours at the sound of his name, and his expression shifted immediately to something between sadness and longing.

“I…” he let out but again couldn’t continue. You stepped closer to him this time.

“Remus… Listen… I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just… I can’t. Be friends with you, I mean. Not like you want me to be. It would hurt too much loving you, knowing you don’t love me too.” You were crying softly now, and you looked down as you finished, unable to maintain his piercing gaze.

“That’s what you think?” He sounded appalled, almost offended. “What?” you looked back at him.

“You think I don’t love you?”

“Well, you basically said as much.” “I didn’t.”

“You did.” “No, I didn’t. I’ve never lied to you, y/n. Never.” He was firm, his calmness confusing you even more.

“I don’t understand… You rejected me. You didn’t return my feelings.” “That’s what you think happened?” His tone was utterly disbelieving, almost angry now.

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” “Then what happened, Remus?”

“I —“ He moaned in frustration. “You what? What, Remus? For fuck’s sake, please clarify things because I am seriously starting to lose it.”

“I can’t be with you.” It hurt just as much as it had all those weeks ago. It knocked the breath right out of you. You’d thought you’d processed, started to heal even if not yet move on, but this was just as raw as if you hadn’t just spent an entire summer trying to deal with it. You nodded slowly, angrily, looking away from him.

“I never thought you were cruel, Remus. What? Rejecting me once wasn’t enough?”

“Well you should have!” he yelled at you, shocking you, jolting you upright. His hand went to his face, rubbing aggressively then scratching into his hair in frustration. “You should have.” he said much more softly this time. “You should have realized I’m capable of cruelty, y/n. It’s in my blood. It’s what I am.”

“Remus…” equal parts scolding and loving, finally understanding. “Remus, you’re not.” “I am. And I always will be. How can I be with you being what I am? How can you want to be with me?” His last question was complete desperation, a barely audible whisper. You closed the space between you and brought your hand to his face. You caressed his cheek then rested your forehead against his. You worried he might resist your affections, but to your surprise, he didn’t. He melted into your touch, exhaling all of his tension as he nuzzled into your palm, brushed your nose with his, his eyes closed.

“Fuck,” you felt more than heard him say.

“Yeah,” you whispered back. He gave a bit of a chuckle. “Remus.”

“Hm?”

“Remus, look at me.” He opened his eyes, his face so close to yours. As you looked into each other’s eyes, he brought his hand up to your face, his cold fingers now caressing your warm cheek.

“You love me?” you asked him. “Desperately,” he responded immediately. “How could I not, lovely girl…”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Rem?” “What?” He was so taken aback his shifted slightly, only slightly, back from your face. “Of course not, y/n. You’re the cleverest person I know. Why would you ask me that?” “You trust me?” “Yes.” “Okay, then if you trust me and you trust my clever judgement, can you please believe me when I tell you you’re worth loving? Please, Remus. You’re breaking my heart not letting me love you. I know you don’t mean to, but you’re hurting me — hurting both of us — by acting out of fear.” He closed his eyes again and exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve better.” “I don’t want better; I want you. And you’re hurting me now, Remus.” He took a second, looked back and forth between your eyes, scanned your face. “You’re sure?” “Entirely.”

With that, he kissed you immediately, fiercely, bringing his other hand to cup your face. You kissed him, running your other hand through his hair, pushing your body against his. Your tongues tangled; your moans harmonized. There was nothing else but him, his body, his mouth, in that moment; the rest of the word faded away as you breathed him in, tasted him for the first time, touched him as if for the first time.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, you broke apart but kept your faces a breadth away from each other. You couldn’t help but giggle, and he chuckled in response, still caressing your cheek and bringing his other arm around your waste, holding you close. Your arms met behind his neck, and you bumped your noses lovingly.

“So,” he stated. “You wanna go back to the party?” he asked, his tone implying he already knew your answer. “No, I don’t think so,” you laughed. “Good. Me neither.” “Good.”

“I really do want to hear about your summer, you know. And now we have all night to catch up — not to mention tomorrow… and the day after that, and the one after that…” His smile was joy and anticipation, but you could read his relief there too, could see how much he had wanted this like you had. “But…”

You cocked your eyebrow at him.

“But, I think I want to do this a little longer first.” His smile became his kiss, and you were sure you’d never get enough.

#marauders era #marauders fanfic #marauder x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin imagine #remus x reader #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #fluff #angst #friends to lovers #mutual pining #lily evans

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carlos55inz · 3 months

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i know i probably sound deranged but . hear me out . charlos pacific rim au . so … jaegar engineer carlos, who was dragged into becoming a pilot even though he could just strategise & build as the brightest to come out of there in years ( even though there’s nico & daniil & mitch & he can only drive himself mad watching them fall from the sky, crash into the water in graves that he designed, scribbles on notes & plans scattered across the table & grief scrawled into the margins of yet another design ).

but the higher–ups are looking for anyone & everyone — & he winds up being drift compatible with lando ( except it’s not the first person he’s compatible with, having paired with redbull’s starboy max years ago & broken their link himself at the last possible minute to avoid being forced into the field, knows how fragile these things are ), made to don an orange uniform & convince everyone that it’s fine, that their meagre efforts are going to stave off the end of the world sooner rather than later. & that’s easy-going & nice, but it’s a stop-gap all the same ( he knows they want someone better, the mclaren unit has a bone to pick & determination to prove they are still the best at this, that they want someone proven to kill & take down kaiju & get the job done in a way he’s only slowly, unbalancedly & fumbling through, figuring out how to ). & though they have great success, he’s also terrified about why it feels so deliberate, why everything feels like such a process, why they say you can’t hide anything in the drift & yet lando has not seen half the things that haunt him in his sleep.

on the other side of the world, there’s ferrari’s star pilot, charles, fresh off a partnership that had initially gone so well but ended so badly that even though they were trying their absolute best, sent their jaeger out of control & into the sea & seb with a patchwork of scars to some strategy related posting in sydney ( pardon the implied sebmark, i had to ) & him to fend off the cameras & questions about what’s wrong with the unit again. & there’s so much speculation, so many people wondering who will work wth charles — he can barely breathe ( not that he ever really could, because to don the colours he does also means some commitment to the bit, to burning til the very end ), runs the tests mechanically, as they put one person after another in front of him & everything comes up empty & he’s pleading every day to just let him solo pilot even though it’ll probably get him killed ( he just wants to go out, to prove himself & keep their shatterdome from falling apart, no matter how impossible it seems ) — but they’re so desperate that they’re testing other pilots, even the ones who are already drifting with someone else, because they can pull those pairings apart in a moment if they needed it somewhere else. thing is, he doesn’t really remember much about the first time they sparred — dark eyes and bracing against an immovable object and some dim recognition that oh is this lando’s co-pilot, moving back and forth like some sort of ebb and flow just like the surface of the ocean he’d slammed into all those months ago — or about the first time they’d attempted to drift in the simulation — blurs of colours and images and something weightless and effortless, opening his eyes and wondering why his mouth tastes like salt, like sea, like tears & the faintest hint of guilt and it feels like all the air’s been sucked clean from his lungs. ( congratulations, you’re compatible. congratulations, hope you hang in there longer & come out of it in fewer pieces than all the ones before you did. )

there is only so much space in this shatterdome. there is only so much space in your mind. & even though it goes so well, carlos a perfect co-pilot & the two of them are completing mission after mission successfully — it feels like they’ve never been able to fully close the space between the pons systems separating themselves when they drift, because after that first time, it was like everything vanished & drifting was only ever something smooth & easy. ( as though charles is very much rooted here, in this moment, and somehow carlos is reading the signal flares from a thousand miles away, and it drives him mad in the process, how someone so outwardly warm & emotional could feel so cold & always armed with a perfect distance in his mind. ) but the first advice they give to any pilot is to never chase the rabbit, to seek the memories & people in others’ minds ( to look into file after file and find them curiously blank and empty, trying to contact people long dead & gone ) — it’s advice that, in the end, charles doesn’t heed. ( i am rambling so much bc rip the meds & idk if this makes any sense but !! idk just want angsty charlos, fluorescent lights & the warmth of another person at the end of the world & just . learning to Understand™️ & be okay with being Perceived™️, that you could fall into the water together & feel like you're never coming up for air & still live, somehow )

first of all, i can’t tell you how excited i was when i got this. thank you so much for sharing your ideas.

“& grief scrawled into the margins of yet another design” FUCKED ME UP. engineer carlos getting used to the feeling that to create a machine is to get ready to grief. i would like to imagine a daniil that can’t pilot anymore because of a major injury and carlos writing to him every chance he has just because he feels like he owns that. he was the one that built the jaegar that daniil was in. maybe if he has changed this, or done that, or was just a little better here—

i love how you paired lando and carlos. imagining a very young and eager lando who grew up admiring pilots and dreaming of his own jaegar and taking down his first kaiju, and on the other side carlos, who didn’t want to be there, who was not supposed to be there, but it’s hard to find good pilots and the investments are getting scarce. so, as you said, they need to get help anywhere they can. “ yet lando has not seen half the things that haunt him in his sleep” YES. lando being to excited and so young that carlos is there mostly to help and guide him rather than create a real connection. lando doesn’t stop to Look at carlos’ mind.

“charles, fresh off a partnership that had initially gone so well but ended so badly” ooooh how i would pay bucks to see this written. i would die to see this. this would be amazing. your whole idea. your whole concept. everything is top notch. also, do not apologize for the implied sebmark. i love the implied sebmark. give me more. “not that he ever really could, because to don the colours he does also means some commitment to the bit, to burning til the very end” here, as soon as i read it, i had to stop and walk around the room. charles is a sacrificial lamb to ferrari in every universe. wearing rosso corsa as if it is blood on his hands. charles not feeling anything. mechanical. work. proving himself. red, red, red. then, sea. then salt. then other colors. then brown eyes. then something else. then another’s feelings in his chest. everything is so fast and then it just stops. just for a moment. then is fast again. i love how you described it, their first ride together, the way it’s nothing magical at the same time it is. it’s very mundane and routine like until it’s not.

i feel like charles has the knife here, he has the power to seek the rabbit, he has the upper hand, he has the power to use the knife to hurt carlos or to hand the knife for carlos to fend himself out of his little cave. but he can’t do anything with his knife. because carlos needs to let him in. and carlos can’t do that. carlos has lost too much, has too many names he carries as a reminder of his failure and he has read charles leclerc file, he knows about his dad, about the pilot that was his mentor, about sebastian, he can’t be another tale mark in the count of grief this boy has to carry.

and charles is having none of that. i don’t think it would be because he cares for carlos, at the begging, but mostly because he thinks that to be a better pilot to be the best one out there the biggest better jaegar and to take down kaijus, they need to know everything about each other: this was a problem with sebastian, he was too far away from charles, always keeping him on the brim. he won’t let it repeat again. he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing just to get to know Something. he needs to know. all while, forgetting that if carlos lets him in, charles will also be open. i don’t think charles would be realizing that until is too late. until he learns that to see someone bare open, with their chest exposed, is to also be vulnerable. the knife cuts both ways. you and i are one tear, one flesh and blood, one painful memory of the world, shared, like a grave. your heart beat in my ribs and mine in yours. intimacy in visceral violence but intimacy is sewing each other up after. to be perceived hurts, at first. you are forced to look at something you would rather hide. but then you are seen. it create a bond that transcends all other types of love, thus acting as the sole point of understanding for the other person in a world that cannot fathom what they’ve been through. you are in a room full of people and you feel like falling down. there’s a arm around you, supporting you, keeping you away from all the eyes, as you do so.

“that you could fall into the water together & feel like you're never coming up for air & still live, somehow” yeah. i need to sit down. this is— just. amazing. thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this.

#charlos au anon #ceu asks #PART 1 BECAUSE THERES MORE FUCK YEAH LETS GO PEOPLE LETS GO CHARLOS AU ANON #charlos pacific rim au #charlos #carlos sainz #charles leclerc

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irulaan · 2 years

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SOMETHING HE CAN NEVER HAVE | EDDIE MUNSON

— your son wants to spend this christmas with his parents, years after you drifted apart. and you’d walk through hell to make his wish possible. first take: lots of phone calls and annoyed sighs.

✧ PAIRING. eddie munson x fem!reader

✧ WORD COUNT. 3.6k

✧ WARNINGS. eddie being an asshole. i can’t think of any now, let me know if you find one.

being at the airport for the second time this month didn’t surprise you. nor did the awful communication you had with your son’s father. and it all results in another struggle at your least favorite place right now, trying to make it on time for your second flight in the last 24 hours.

it was really easy for him to tell you he wasn't in that state, he got confused and he ended up on the other side of the country. you weren’t surprised by his usual behaviour, at this point you weren’t even angry, just disappointed. you're the one traveling across the country to almost rescue your son, who has fear of airplanes and vertigo and he stresses so easily by the thought of flying. but you can't just point the finger at eddie for what happened between the both of you, that would've been absolutely unfair.

so yeah, now the spitting image of the recently proclaimed rockstar was following behind you with a backpack that was probably twice his weight, holding his stuffed animal so tight he might break it.

when you were at the gate, and you both could finally breath - because you didn't lose this flight, he sights. “moooom, i don’t want to fly” his voice is small and impossibly frail, he's afraid.

you lowered yourself to his level, grabbing him by the shoulders. “i know, dear, i tried to reschedule this with your father, but it was impossible” his expression changed, and a few tears threatened to fall, so your hands moved up to cup his face, gently. “we will have to fly home, i’m sorry”.

he was a good kid; he wasn’t as messy as you thought he would be, being eddie’s son and because they, frankly, spend a lot of time together. he was so understanding and empathic. he even had a notion of why things were the way they were.

his little fingers swept a single tear that fell down his cheek, “it’s a short flight, right?”

you smiled at him, “yes, dear, about 3 hours” he tried to get out of your embrace, and so you did, after placing a kiss on his forehead. leaving it behind, you preferred to try and cheer him up: “i got your favourite snacks and music!”.

he smiled sympathetically at your efforts with those teary eyes. “did you brought the mixtape pa made for me?”

your expression soon changed, as you were confused “i—i don’t? i got the one we did together,” last time you listened to the mixtape was merely a week ago, and he loved it! saying eddie’s one was too noisy.

spending time with his dad changed him a bit, sometimes.

he scrunched his face in disgust, “i don’t think i like those anymore” he shake his head, his hair moving around, making you loathe the fact he was, indeed, a carbon copy of his father. “i want daddy’s mixtape”

shrugging, you took hold of his little hands, “sorry, i should have brought both of them,” he just grinned at you, shrugging too, attempting to mimic you.

“doesn’t matter,” he said, getting his hands free once again to fish his walkman from your bag. he got it playing, fooling around as he listened to those tunes he didn’t like anymore.

you sat down, trying to read whatever book you have brought. it wasn’t long until you felt your son’s eyes glued to your face.

“mom?” his voice was hushed, not matching the vibrancy he had seconds ago.

you carried your eyes off you book to look at him, “what is it?”

a nervous smile crashed on his face, “can we spend this christmas all together? please?”

you had to blink a few times, trying to fool yourself into thinking you had listened wrong.

“what do you mean, dear?”

his face beamed with excitement “you, dad, me!” you choked on your own spit, and he must’ve been so scared by your reaction that he began to ramble, “just the three of us! uhm, not with josh or dad’s friends and the funny ladies, nope! i want you and him and me!”

there was a few seconds of silence in which you tried to process everything, from ignoring the funny ladies part to think what it would mean to have a christmas with eddie. it wouldn’t work; nope, it would be absolutely disastrous. he would say all this dumb shit, and you know you won’t hide the annoyed expression at his antics.

you knew that, but the sudden shine on your son’s eyes changed something in you; he really wanted that. he really wanted something you know you could never have, but his little self with all his emotions was enough to change your opinion. maybe you could try.

sighing, you stared at him, pretending to be serious, “you know it’s hard, right? but i’m going to do anything to make it possible; how does that sound?” the largest smile appeared on his face again, and he jumped off his seat to celebrate. he circled the couple of seats to gather some speed to crash in your lap, leaving kisses all your face. he was so ecstatic he couldn’t even hide it.

“yes! thank you! thank you! i love you, you’re the best mom of the universe!”

you feared what would come, and you feared he could get the disappointment of his life by this whole situation.

it was almost 2 am.

the house was in complete silence, except for the fact you had to raise your voice at the negative response of eddie. you were just about to lose it and wake up the whole neighbourhood. “what do you mean you can’t? what the fuck is wrong with you, edward?!”

now, searching where corroded coffin was performing every day wasn’t hard; you didn’t even have to search for god’s sake. they had become so prominent in the past few months that corroded coffin’s posters and tour dates were everywhere. there, in front of you, laid a little poster with the tour dates, and with simple math, you estimated he had about an hour or two before he had to jump into the stage. in that moment your nightmare started.

he laughed at you as if you had told him the most clever joke ever. which, of course, just made your blood boil. “woah, woah, hey, why are you always calling me to throw insults?” just by the tone of his voice, you knew he was smiling on the other side of the line. he was playing with you, acting cool and nice, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong through these years.

his attitude got you in a spiral of indignation, and you had to take a few breaths not to hang up and throw the phone far away.

then, eddie was met with a shaky breath and that cold tone he wasn’t expecting from you, “have you ever —i don’t know, thought that maybe you deserve it? are you even listening to yourself or are you too high or drunk to answer me properly?”

you swore you heard him grinning through the line. “it’s both, you know, both” you don’t even know how you could be so mad when this was everything you could obtain from him; you have known eddie for half of your life. he was like this. he’s always been like this. after breathing out, he continued: “yeah, uhm, why were you even shouting at me? all you ever do is yell at me? but, princess, do you remember how you spoke to me when you loved me? soft and delicate… like you never truly got angry at me back then”

your expression changed. the kitchen got colder, and your body felt like it was freezing as you grew impatient with this phone call. did he actually said those words to you? now? what was he thinking? was this a sick trick of your mind to warn you about why you shouldn’t reach out to him? unfortunately, it was real. you weren’t in a dream – nightmare. the dim, warm light coming from the hall and the faint sound of the clock reminds you.

you reckoned the knot on your throat and the sudden feeling of emptiness in your stomach were all because you were enraged by his actions.

right, you were mad at him.

you let out a trembling sigh as you found the strength to speak with a stern, harsh voice –still hushed by the fact everyone was asleep, “you can’t be real right now, please, eddie! act like an adult and try to sober up a bit! this is important”

“i’m about to perform in front of people… i can’t sober up, woman!” his loud voice felt like a whiplash, and you had to take a step back from the phone even if he wasn’t there.

you can tell he was growing anxious by his sudden reaction, and you tricked yourself into believing you didn’t care at all. you were ending this phone call because you didn’t want to deal with a high eddie.

“i’ll call you, early and you’re going to answer the phone” you had to take a short pause to ponder about the words you were going to say – and how you’re going to declare them. “remember that this isn’t because i want to see you on christmas day, it’s for our son, and you love him so much you’ll do anything for him, right?”

that wasn’t smooth or admirable. it sounded like you were manipulating him into doing this when he should have said yes in a blink.

“fine, talk to you later” he lingered on the phone for a few seconds, as you grew eager to hear the classic beep marking the end of the call.

after you heard it, a tiny voice startled you, “that was a no?” you let the phone fall from your hand, as the two of you flinched at the impact sound it made.

with a hand on your heart and the other reaching out for your son’s shoulder, you said in a firm but sweet tone: “god, don’t scare me like that, love, please” his little smile, revealing the gap those missing teeth have left, made you grin. lifting the gloom mood eddie put you through. “and don’t spy me, okay?”

his playful smile never left his pink cheeks. “i’m sorry momma, i’m just excited, i know pa would say yes!” he was so thrilled about this reunion, and your heart shrunk. you couldn’t raise his hopes just for eddie to come and destroy them. so you remained silent about it. “do you miss him?”

were the munsons always throwing you out of your safe state of mind? his innocuous question felt like a splash of ice-cold water.

“why are you asking me that, dear?”

he struggled a bit to find a response. “because he told me—“

you had to stop him right there, not wanting to torment yourself with whatever thing he said. because it didn’t matter if he missed you or not, both of them already were harming you. “--you shouldn’t be saying that to me, if your father told you it wasn’t because he wanted me to know,”

his face dropped, but you know he’ll forget all of this tomorrow, “okay…”.

“who’s this?” you were taken aback by a rough tone, the voice that belonged to a sleepy woman. you should have expected it. after all, he was living his dream of fucking anyone, anything, and whenever he wanted.

you smiled through it, acting nice. getting out your best soft-spoken voice, “can i speak with eddie, please?”

she muttered a fuck, and you heard how she strumbled to move, probably checking his state. “i don’t think so, dear, he’s asleep right now, but i’ll tell him whatever you have to te–”

you had to interrupt her; otherwise, she would hang up the call, and you can’t put yourself through the mortification of calling him again. “--yeah, no. wake him up, please. it’s wayne’s mother speaking”

she yawned. “who’s wayne?” she sounds bewildered.

you felt a pang of pain somewhere in your body – but you forbid to acknowledge it.

“his son,” your firm tone let her know it wasn’t a joke.

“ooooh, fuck,” she whispered to the phone before you heard from afar how she was making her best attempt at waking up eddie, almost shouting his name.

after a few seconds and a few annoyed whispers, you knew eddie was on the phone. his heavy breathing gave away he wasn’t foreseeing you to call at twelve pm – o’clock.

“ow! you’re unreal!” you had to swallow a chuckle at his childish tone and behaviour.

with a faint smile hanging onto your face, you spoke with a tone that quite didn’t match, “i told you i was going to call, i’ll let you have a glass of water or something, but be quick, please”

eddie grumbled, irritated. it was far too early to deal with this. for him. “why are you yelling?” he complained.

“i’m not yelling, i’m pretty sure you’re having a hangover”

you heard more struggling. and then a hard slap. you didn’t even want to wonder why or what was that noise. “where are you? it’s so noisy – fuck”

“at work”

“oh, right, sorry i forgot” he paused to gulp a lot of water, which ended in a loud aaaah. “i feel like trash”

shaking your head, you decided you couldn’t stand another word he says unrelated to all this christmas chaos. “i didn’t call to know about your day, munson,” he whispered something you couldn’t catch and didn’t have the time to. so you continued, “you have to clean christmas day, remember?”

he let out a defeated sigh. now he knows there’s no way to elude whatever got into his son’s head with an equally obstinate mother. he thought, for a moment, you would let it go as soon as he said no, as soon as he said he was so high yesterday. he thought it would be like the few times you called in the past years - brief, straight to the point, and if he said no, you wouldn't bother yourself to continue and get what you wanted. but here’s the difference: he knew it wasn’t you the one who desired his presence. not after years of almost non-existent communication.

he made his choice right there, not letting the remote memories well-kept in his subconscious bleed through and into his mind.

he took a defensive stance as if there was a way of hiding himself when you weren’t even there with him, judging him. looking down at the poor decisions he made. or maybe you’ll stare at him with your big heartbroken eyes, wanting to hear why, wanting answers. those he didn’t have, or were so lost in his memory, he doesn’t bother trying to locate them anymore. and leaving you without a proper explanation and desolated eyes would shatter his heart all over again.

a loud thud from your line brought him back to reality. “i can’t, i already have plans, and this christmas it’s your turn! and i got everything planned already, i guess you’ll have to take wayne, sorry”

you couldn’t take his thousandth no nicely. “wayne wants to spend the christmas day with us both, eddie, what’s not so clear about it?”

he acted surprised, “oooh,” but decided to stay fixed on his decision. “i still cannot, maybe the next one?”

at this point, you felt like he was playing with this situation. all of this was amusing to him and you’ll get nothing but more vexed with him. he was pushing you to a place you didn’t want to go. he was making you despise him.

but you weren’t easy to shut down, “what could even be your plans for that day? cocaine and beautiful women? get yourself together, edward, please” he didn’t mean to, but he had to muffle a chuckle, a humorless one. “i’m willing to fly where you are and have all of that there, i don’t care, i just want to see wayne happy”

he still couldn’t get you off his back. you both were growing impatient with every response, by every fucking breath. “oh, you can make him delighted by buying him an electric guitar or something i think he deserves it now, he’s genuinely talented, you should listen to him!”

his cynical response set your mind on fire. and eddie was a lot of things, but you haven’t experienced this supposedly new facet – being a complete asshole.

“you’re impossible, aren’t you?”

yet again, he just went for his comfortable answer, “you don’t get to say that to me, when you’re the one attempting to make this happen with a few weeks of anticipation!”

he wasn’t only impossible but unreal, and you were mere seconds away from just cutting all contact with him. maybe you were being unreasonable, even ridiculous. still, it was something you had to ignore for the sake of your son's happiness. “i’m sorry our son wanted to spend this christmas like a functional family!” you took a brief pause before continuing, not caring a few colleagues were now hearing you, “not seeing you wasted by three am or being unhappy here because he miss the pathetic excuse he has as a father!”

you regret the brutal words the second they came out of your mouth. the ones that felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at him. he even forgot he had a headache. for a few seconds, you both were encapsulated in a freezing stillness. you thought he would hang up the phone, and you’d understand. it was unfair, but oh so necessary.

he cleared his throat before speaking, “woooah, hey” his tone was different, serious but gentle. he left that mischievousness behind. “i’m not a bad parent, i’m present and i love wayne! what’s wrong with you?”

after literally calling him a terrible father, there weren’t many things you could do to change his mind, so your choice was an ultimatum, “can you clean that day?”

he smiled at your fatigued voice; of course you were going to break him before he could ever get a chance to resist. “hmmm, only if you ask nicely”

“eddie, this is not a fucking joke”

“oh, no, i can’t clean that day for you, sweetheart, sorry” he deadpanned.

your snorted, “you’re unbelievable–as if– as if i wanted to see you!” and after these phone calls, you wouldn’t even want to dream with him – or let his image wander around your mind.

he hummed, “not, wrong answer, are we going to do this all day? i got a show today… so”

you used to know eddie like the back of your hand. you used to know how he felt with a single word because of his tone. and maybe you could be wrong about what you were assuming – but he already said yes. he just wanted to make sure you weren’t annoyed with him. if you refuse, he will still come. he would reach for you in other opportunities and try to make things right, to ask for forgiveness and hope they can still have that christmas dinner.

so you follow along, for the good old times. “good god, would you please cancel your more relevant plans and meetings for christmas day to spend the day with your son? please, eddie, it would be the world for him”

that was the most embarrassing thing you’ve done since you were a dumb adolescent in the back of eddie’s van--nope, you can’t follow that train of thought right now.

“i know what you’re doing, but i didn’t like your sarcasm—“ he paused for a few seconds to take a breath. you opened your mouth to say something, but he wasn’t prepared to hear more insults from you, “--i’ll clean the day, i think you gotta travel all across the country, just a moment let me see where are we playing that few days…”

an drained sigh came out the second he said that. “thank you, eddie”

“i’ll buy you the plane tickets and send them to you”

you shake your head, even if he can’t see you. “it’s not necessary, i’m good i can cost them”

but now it was his turn to not accept a no. “i’m just trying to pay for all those years when we weren’t this big and—“

you had to intercept him for your own good. “i did that because i loved you; you don’t need to pay me back anything, don’t feel obligated to do that because of it,” your words sprayed with acid that little hidden scar, now almost unnoticeable. but it was there and would never heal. you hated how easy it was to cause harm to it. and eddie hated how those words rolled out your tongue so effortlessly. because he feels like he doesn’t know you anymore.

“right, okay, but i can pay them now, so that’s what i’m gonna do. do you still live there?”

you let him do what he wants, not wanting to start another argument over something so frivolous. “yes, i still live here”

“great, see you” he had to hang up before hearing anything else from you.

“see—“ the phone beeping stopped you, bringing you back to reality, to the concerned stares from your co-workers. to the now sharp noise of the room. “this can’t be real,” you mumbled to yourself before going to the bathroom to find a bit of peace.

to be alone with your racing thoughts, and racing heart. at least for few minutes.

COMMENTS, LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED i will literally give you forehead kisses if you support me <3

wayne’s mixtape from eddie.

finally it’s out !! i’m so sorry for keeping you waiting for it :( but i have lots to do for uni now !! so enjoy !! <3

remember english isn’t my first language so it might have some mistakes, if you want to, you can correct me. but be nice about it, it’s all i ask.

now, if you want to break your heart a bit more, listen to the song that inspired this fic <3

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #dad!eddie munson x reader #dad!eddie munson #popiwrites💭

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xlovely-liviix · 1 month

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Just The Way You Are: A Huskerdust Fanfiction

Hello and welcome to a spoiler my new fanfiction: Just the Way You Are! I decided to create my own Huskerdust family AU because...my world revolves around fankids, so without further ado, please enjoy this angsty, fluffy, Huskerdust mpreg fanfiction!!

Coming to A03 soon!!! (....Hopefully)

(DISCLAIMER: This is only a SPOILER! I have yet to finish the actual story!!)

TW: body image issues, emotional/verbal abuse, mental breakdown/isolation, eating disorder(s), etc.

Images are the way one might present themself, whether it's socially, physically, or anything else. Images can be either a desired facade, or maybe something that is forced upon someone. Images can change overtime. Peoples' views of others can and will change. Sometimes that's hard to accept. In this case, Angel Dust is going through this image-change.

Angel Dust takes pride in his image-- or rather, his semblance. He's known as the hot, slutty, irresistible porn demon that everyone wanted to have inside of them. It has been this way since the start of his career as a prostitute working for the infamous lust overlord, Valentino. Nevertheless, his reputation had a change that was quite inevitable for the spider.

Although it was extremely uncommon, the demon found himself tangled in something that both he and society deemed impossible. He had gotten pregnant. This news came as a major shock to both himself and those in whom he told. That was months ago. Two, to be exact.

The arachnid-demon was now in the late stages of his second trimester, at around 26 weeks (6 months). This pregnancy was not treating Angel well by any means. Angel, who was used to a fast-paced, energetic lifestyle, had to either change or leave many things that he used to take part in, behind. Drugs, alcohol, and sex were things that the demon partook in on a daily basis. They were addictions, you could say, and having to drop all three, minus sex due to the nature his job, was nothing short of difficult for Angel.

He also struggled with both the physical and emotional changes that came with the pregnancy. Intense mood swings due to his hormonal levels often times left him in places that even he didn't want to be in himself. Not to mention the changes within his body. In his first trimester, he has developed a mild form of hyperemesis gravidarum, which confined him to the couch most of the time. The lack of activity was absolutely wretched for the demon, since he was used to being active all day.

Although Angel had to engage in these extra precautions due to the pregnancy, he wasn't alone in this. Charlie, Vaggie, Nifty and the others (-Alastor) all did their part in taking care of him. Albeit, Angel thought of Husk to be his biggest help in this whole situation.

Husker, who was also the soon-to-be-father of the little demon spawn, had been Angel's biggest beam of support throughout the entire ordeal. Whether it was giving Angel a soothing back rub in the middle of the night, or waiting up for him on the nights that he worked late, Husk was always there, even in Angel's darkest times. Angel appreciated these gestures beyond something that he could explain in words, and often it prompted him to apologize profusely to Husk, in which was returned by gentle reassurances. Husk always made sure to let Angel know that no matter the circumstances, that he would always be there for him.

However, despite their extremely close relationship and Husker's promises of comfort, protection, and support for Angel, there were some things that Angel struggled with mentally that Husk couldn't realize.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

That's all (teehee!)

This story is taking a while, but i'll try to finish up sometime soon.....I'm lazy though, so sometime soon is probably in like, 1000 years, LOL!

#hazbin hotel husk #husk #hazbin hotel fankid #angel husk fankid #huskerdust #huskerdust babies au #huskerdust family #huskerdust baby #hazbin hotel family #hazbin hotel mpreg #A03 hates me right now #A03 fanfiction #angeldust #husker #bodyimagetrigger #triggerwarnings #abusetrigger #huskerdust mpreg #my au

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stormfirebeauty · 2 months

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Still thinking about how Leo is the only one of the seven who doesn’t really have ties outside of the quest.

Hear me out. Percy and Piper both still have a solid human life to go back too. Annabeth too although I’d say she’s more tied to camp half blood.

Frank and and Hazel both really care about camp Jupiter despite not having been there long. Jason actually feels very closely tied to both camps which causes him conflict. He seems to think he doesn’t know where he belongs but he DOES feel connected to both places.

Leo though… he’s a BIT attached to camp half blood. Not as much as the others tho. I don’t have my copy of MoA rn so I can’t find text support but I’m pretty sure there’s a part in his POV where he talks about it too. He was at Bunker 9 significantly more than the camp. It’s actually so so impressive he manages to pull his irresponsible goofball act off as much as he does. Cause like this dude WORKED. He built an impossible magic ship in like six months. I’m pretty sure there’s a part where it’s mentioned even HE doesn’t totally understand the magic power my the ship. Bonkers.

So anyway he isn’t that connected to his human life (because it burned in a dumpster fire) and he’s not that connected to camp half blood. But WAY more than the rest of the 7 he is connected to this quest. He’s literally been dreaming about this ship since he was a kid that he would one day build for there people. I think the bonds between the seven could’ve been more built up in general but I gotta say Leo has some STRONG connections compared to the rest. Jason and piper are obvious that’s literally what I made this blog about years ago.

But the rest too. He doesn’t talk with Annabeth much but they do have this interesting relationship of ship builder/commander and quest leader also both being absolute geniuses. Like the only ones who can even Kind of keep up with each other there’s a lot of mutual respect (and fear he is a bit scared of her but that’s just smart). Percy and Leo are interesting bc in theory they have so much in common but one of the only deeepish conversations the have is about Calypso?? BUT his extreme guilt when Percy and Annabeth are in Tarturus bc he thinks he traded them for Frank and Hazel??

Yeah let’s talk about Frank and Hazel. I’m ignoring the love triangle bc I don’t care for it and it’s irrelevant to what I’m talking about. Hazel and Leo have the obvious connection of Leo grandfather being Sammy but ALSO the thing we don’t talk about enough is how both of the childhoods were defined by this quest more than anyone else. Gae interfered with both of them HEAVILY and they both suffered for it, AND carry huge amounts of guilt for what she manipulated them into doing.

And then one of the most underrated friendships that is Leo and Frank. Because Frank’s one weakness is fire and Leo IS FIRE. Like they are each others worst god damn fear. Leo REALLY fears the consequences of his destructive powers which is something he has to learn to work past and Frank really fears his mortality BECAUSE HE HAS TO CARRY IT AROUKD WITH HIM SO VALID. Trusting each other is like confronting those fears… (ok so maybe it wasn’t done that well in canon but that’s not the point).

ANYWAY what’s crazy is I don’t think anyone else really realizes this. Like Leo’s whole woo is me I’m the seventh wheel thing seems really self pitying but… you could argue that everyone on the ship was more invested in someone else on board and on their lives outside of the quest. Like, this is Leo’s life. And he’s their side character (i don’t think this is actually true at all for Jason and Piper but he doesn’t know that ugh). His character is so crazy to me.

#percy jackson #heroes of olympus #leo valdez #I haven’t read most of ToA so any of that is irrelevant to this analysis #my post #analysis #pjo analysis #hoo analysis #character analysis

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astrum-aetherium · 10 months

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Henry's been living rent free in my head since I read TSH like four months ago- I cannot stop thinking about him and your blog is single handedly fueling my obsession with him so thank you so much really.

Anyways- I know Henry is definitely not the soft type of guy, but I do believe he could get just a tiny little bit softer than he usually is (sparingly) were he to find a person he really liked?? This is probably just my guilty and mostly out of character pleasure, but imagining him being all cold and harsh as he is for the most part and then suddenly doing or saying that one unexpectedly tender thing out of nowhere (even in a nsfw context, that's even better) and then going back to his usual self in a heartbeat makes me go uughhh

i wholeheartedly agree with you. on so many levels. it's very easy to cross the utterly restrictive OOC boundaries when speaking/writing about him, since all we seem to know is how stoic and cool and constantly displeased he is (although i could impugn this very well — take the glass shard scene or his staying at the hospital with richard as an example).

us as readers, we cannot help but crave a little softness from him sometimes, and i understand that completely. i'm always willing to indulge us all in a scenario like that. in a better world, on slightly OOC premises, he would make an evidently detached, but caring partner. coincidentally, i have been thinking about just that for the past couple of days, despite formerly being convinced it would be entirely impossible to conduct a healthy relationship with that man (which, yeah, if we strictly stick to canon, it still would be, but that's the beauty about fiction — we get to brush past and alter some things to our enjoyment).

therefore, yes — with the opportunity to alter his character just a tiny bit, i believe he would let his soft side flash every now and again. i don't think it would be in any form of physical touch, however, as he certainly isn't one to put his feelings on display, especially in public (in private, however, that'd be a completely different story). it would mostly be symbolic with him. for instance, imagine it being your birthday. as your partner, he would know you inside and out — he is highly attentive and perceptive, especially when it comes to those closest to him, and he would absolutely be well-versed in anything that you might like, or mention liking. he would know. loving is knowing. therefore, for your birthday, he would not only think of and buy you the best and most thoughtful present imaginable, but he would also buy five more to give to the rest of the group under the pretense of "i know her/him/them better than all of you combined, which is why all of your gifts have already been taken care of".

that is how his affection would shine through — acts of service. being spoiled by him is another tremendous part of that. i have already approached this topic in two previous posts, but to summarize: he absolutely would be willing to spoil you in any way imaginable, as it would be the only plausible way for him to prove the depth of his feelings for you (along with kisses and other physical endeavors, which would exclusively be saved for private settings).

in addition, i feel like he would let himself be swayed more and more despite his dogmatic position, meaning he would be willing to comply or enter compromises, especially for you. orrr... to approach the aspect of him portraying the merest smidge of sweetness and immediately reverting to his stoic self — imagine a strand of hair having fallen loose from your hairstyle, or it simply veiling your hair too much, to the point where he would press the book he might be holding under his arm mid-conversation and brush it aside for you with a light smile, only to immediately proceed with whatever it is he had been occupied by previously.

from a nsfw standpoint, his care would mostly show in his being very forthcoming and reassuring to you (asking for consent, asking if you're in any discomfort during a position, checking up on you during rougher activity), and aftercare (bringing you towels/water/a cigarette (lol), proposing to go pee, holding you on occasion if matters had been overly rough and you might still be trembling).

he would also totally be the type to run his fingers through your hair and even play with it. i don't care how OOC some people believe this to be — i need it. sometimes a girl just needs something of the sort.

#astrum asks #henry winter imagine #henry winter x reader #henry winter thirst #henry winter smut #indulgent thoughts #god i love him #and honestly idc about the ooc aspect rn i need him to be soft sometimes #this is very heartwarming even to me and i wrote it #just like UGH

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coconutbabydoll · 10 months

Text

ೀ-one last time

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

warnings: reader is a cheater, open ending, bad grammar, lack of vocabulary lol that’s it i think. don’t keep scrolling i’ll get better over time!!

summary: so one last time i need to be the one who takes you home ;) (lyrics from the song bbg)

a/n: okay so it took me like 5 days to write this , please please interact likes,reblogs, and comments are appreciated but not mandatory!! if there any grammar, punctuation, mispelling lmk!! i would listen to the song after reading this but it is a popular song you probably already heard of it. also is this giving wattpad core ?? that’s like my biggest fear, okay shutting up posting this and now i’m throwing my phone across the room!!

it’s becoming more and more physically impossible to pull yourself away from your bed. only thing inducing you to get up was your nine to five job. you sighed and wearily pushed your hands on the bed and looked at your pillow. there was a big wet spot on your pillow. why were you crying? you were the one who messed up, you were the one who lied, it’s been five months why couldn’t you just get over it. you jumped off your bed and walked over to vanity desk and grabbed your phone. immediately you clicked on the instagram icon, for the past five months this became apart of your daily routine, abby. you tried to resist stalking her page but she was really unforgettable. you scrolled through all of her gym photos, photos with friends , and photos and videos she still had up of the two of you. you didn’t really know what that meant, at first you thought it meant she missed you, so you tired to contact her but she always left you on seen. you clicked on her profile picture icon to see what she posted on her story.

oh, you didn’t see that coming. it was photo of her and some girl, the girl was kissing her on the cheek and her arms wrapped around abby neck while abby made duck face, one hand holding the phone towards a bathroom mirror and the other on the girls waist.

the picture was caption: happy two months baby!! i love you more than words can explained :)

two months? so it only took her three months to get over you while your suffering everyday, always wishing you go back five months in time so you could take back that one moment that’s been repeating in your head every single day , that moment wasn’t even the worst part it was abby little puppy dog eyes when she found out, god you felt so awful then, all you wanted to do was stick a knife down your throat, you still do now.

you swipe off of instagram and deleted the app, you got enough of that. you open your message app and texted your boss telling her that you had fever and you weren’t able to make it, you needed a little break. you’ve been working nonstop for five months , you needed something to distract your mind.

it was a friday after all, just because abby moved on doesn’t mean you have to spend it depressed and cooped up in your bed. maybe you could hang out with your friends, you still had a decent amount of those. actually no, all your friends were shared with abby and if they still talk to abby, which they most certainly do, they would know abby’s girlfriend. if you asked to hangout with them, they would invite abby and she would invite her girlfriend, absolutely not. maybe a frat party, there was a decent amount of those too, a perfect way to meet new people and to get over somebody, you used to go to a lot. thats actually how you meant abby , that’s how you lost her too.

the thing was you have been so out of the mix lately, you haven’t heard the word frat party since five months ago. there always a party on friday, right? dina, dina, dina, dina, she would know she goes to almost everyone. plus you guys still keep in contact. you open your message app and clicked her contact name.

y/n: hey dee, is there a frat party going on tonight? cs i kinda wanna go to one, pls lmk

dee: oh wowww looks who finally wants to come out their shell, haha yes there is one at 11 can i come over a 10 with some stuff so we can get ready??

y/n: yea sound great

now what to do till ten, you could get up and get some coffee, walk to the park, make some breakfast, read a book. nope, you decided to download instagram again , log back into your account and stalk abby. you sighed, was it really that easy for her to forget about you, get over you? maybe she wasn’t over you, she still had your pictures up! messaging her again wouldn’t hurt, you thought.

you click on the message button and look at all your previous messages, all of them including an “i’m sorry, please just listen to me.” your only contact with her was instagram because she blocked you everywhere else. you were always puzzled as to why she blocked you everywhere else but not instagram. you hesitated before typing and deleted a couple of sentences and finally you were satisfied.

“hey abby, i’m sorry to bother you on your anniversary and stuff but i just want to tell you somethings i felt like i really didn’t have time to explain, first of all i’m truly and deeply sorry from like the bottom of my heart. it was never my intentions to hurt you , it just happen i was drunk out of my mind and the whole time i thought about you, i hated myself for doing that to you and i wanted to tell you before she did but i chocked imma fucking coward i know , i’m sorry abby. i don’t deserve you at all but i miss you.”

it’s not like she actually was going to reply but you still wanted to express yourself, what you really wanted was her to forgive you but that’s never going to happen. you still had several hours left before dina came over , you decided to take a nap.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂

you were woken up to the static of your intercom, you whined and look for your phone with your hands scavenging around your bed. your eyes were dazzled by the brightness of your phone screen, it was 10:13 and you had loads of text from dina, you got up and pressed the door button to your intercom and open your apartment door and stood at the threshold.

“how long are your staying?” you sarcastically questioned dina as she walked up the stairs with a travel suitcase.

“i brung options, i know how picky you are.”

when dina walked in she gazed around your apartment, like she’s never been in there before.

“i feel like i haven’t been in here forever, it still looks the same.” you let out a little chuckle.

“i brought everything, shirts, shorts, skirts, dresses, jeans. here pick out what you want,” she shoved the suitcase towards you. “imma gonna to do my hair in the bathroom.”

you tugged on the zipper moving it around the suitcase and opened the top, you eyes were met with a variety collection of clothes. you didn’t really think about what to wear. a nice top and shorts would be fine. before you had the chance to grab an outfit you heard your phone buzz, you reached over and grabbed it- no fucking way! abby had message you back, we’re you dreaming ? you took the back of your hand and firmly rubbed your eyes, gazed back at your screen and nope this is real, quickly you clicked on the message and your phone automatically unlocks.

“can you stop, no like actually i had enough. all those other messages i ignored, but cmon on my fucking anniversary. my girlfriend and i are happy and i don’t need you back in my life. i don’t need any source of reminder of you. doesn’t matter how many times you say sorry it doesn’t take back what you did! and i asked you and you lied! stop it i don’t care anymore, leave me alone before i block you, this shit is super annoying.”

geez that was awful, we’re you really that annoying? you were just trying to express yourself, she never gave you chance to actually explain she just went off of what the girl told her, but you did lie and what did you expect? for everything to be all happy and sunshine, for her to read your message and want to get back together? but there no actually way that sh-

“what are you doing?” dina giggled as she walked in the living area, her hair was straightened down with a middle part. you didn’t realize how long and deep you had been into your thoughts, fuck that was embarrassing.

“nothing, i was just thinking about um some stuff.”

“well can you think about what your going to wear, cmon let’s go!”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂

this party’s stinks, no like actually it stinks, it smells like sweat, must, and ass. and you weren’t really having fun, a couple of people try to flirt with you and got some girls number, made out with like two of them but none of them gave you that same tingly feeling you had when you met abby.

“dee, i’m gonna head to the bathroom,” you informed dina, she waved you off and continued talking with some guy, the three of y’all were sitting on some torn up leather couch along with some others. you were scrolling on your phone the whole time, and peeling the leather off of the couch. you made your way upstairs where you assumed the bathroom would be and it was, there wasn’t a line but someone was in there, so you patiently waited on the side of the door.

and as if it was by fate or the universe just really wanted to be entertained right now, guessed who walked out of the bathroom. abby fucking anderson.

her eyes kinda widened and her lips slightly parted, she look like she just seen a ghost, she took a deep breath and you saw her chest moved and back down, like she was in awestruck or something. the staring between to both of you felt like it would last an eternity, in reality it probably only lasted five seconds until she scoffed and walked away making sure to bump your shoulder.

“abby abby! please wait,” you yelled chasing after her, she was walking fast so you started speed walking to catch up, when you did you grab her wrist in attempt for her to stop.

“get the fuck off of me!” she fumed and spun around and stopped walking. “what the fuck do you not understand? i don’t wanna see you, leave me alone!”

“abby please, one more time! just this once and i’ll leave you alone forever please,” you sniffled. you didn’t want to cry but shit. the anger in her face kinda soften. and you two stood there for what felt like an eternity again.

“cmon,” she finally said while she grabbed your hand and led you into a empty bedroom. she let go of your hand and closed the door behind her, and sat on a unmade bed.

“this better be worth my fucking time, go!”

“it is! i swear, i- i just don’t exactly what to say, i mean i’ve been waiting to speak to you for months and i missed you so much abby, there’s not a day that went by that i didn’t think of you and-,” you rambled out but was eventually cut off by abby.

“okay so what exactly do you want to talk about, i know what happen , i know you lied, and i know you regret it and all that bullshit but we’re not getting back together, my girlfriend is downstairs waiting for me and i’m going to keep her because she doesn’t cheat and lie.”

“i know but , i just wanna put this past us and i know we can’t be together but i don’t wanna be friends either, i can’t stand to see you with someone else, i feel like- i don’t know like we were meant to be, it’s corny i know. and i know she’s probably a good person, probably the best you ever had, but i’ve been miserable, i don’t want to be without you,” you expressed, you walked closer to the unmade bed where abby was sitting and gently caressed her shoulder, she looked nervous but at the same time it was how she always used to look at you when you two were a couple.

“what are you doing,” she said uncertain, low, and shy. she was looking down at her leg which was bobbing up and down.

“i don’t wanna think about it,” you breathed, and pulled abby into a kiss. it didn’t last long but it was loving and for three seconds you swore she kissed you back until she pulled away.

“i can’t- this is wrong i have-.”

“don’t think about it ,i know you want it too, just one last time.”

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