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reynie-muldoons · 1 year

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“A Two-Way Street” liveblog!

So at the time of writing this, I’ve just finished episode 7. I have absolutely no clue what the finale will hold, but the episode summary says something about Number Two’s past? Name drop perhaps??? I guess we’ll see. This really seems like it’s all coming out of nowhere lol.

For the last time this season- and potentially in general if we don’t get renewed- spoilers under the cut!

0:52 I’m like fully expecting them to pan over to Mr B at some point and to see him totally vacant

1:03 Yeah Milligan, come on, turn at the damn hand tree 😂

1:13 “Sorry. I’m having feelings.” you and me both babe

1:41 the house is fully yellow

1:52 “Mother! :D” READ THE ROOM

1:59 …..why would you just stop at “Number”

2:05 oh come on don’t tell me she was actually named Number. Like her legal name is Number? Didn’t they explain in season 1 that was her codename that she adopted for pool or something?

2:17 “my sister, Charity-” WHY DID THEY HAVE TO GIVE MY NAME TO A CHARACTER THAT IS GENERALLY DISLIKED ADKFHKASHF LMAOOOO

2:25 okay the fact that her axe is named Madame Chops and she demands on it being formally introduced makes it a little better 😂

2:32 so what the boy is Number One and she’s Number Two? Did they just write out the whole Pencilla thing???

2:56 both of them are so desperate to have control

2:59 “I have authority as interim director to-” “self-appointed.” “not official.” LMAO BOTH OF THEM ARE SO DESPERATE TO HAVE CONTROL

3:19 they’re just leaving him in the truck by himself when the duskwort has probably already worn off???? They were driving all night ffs

3:26 “you should be very proud of Number Two. she is one of the finest human beings I’ve ever known.” I said this with Milligan last ep- I get that he’s mentally compromised but I genuinely think he would have said that even if he wasn't and that makes me FEEL THINGS

3:31 “it’s a relief to hear that my sister has finally sustained some friendships” I’ll drop kick you

3:33 “I was being sincere!” doubtful

3:42 so what I’m hearing is that One was the favorite child and Number Two had to fight for attention

3:58 “so.. This is family life?” “looks like it.” there’s something morbidly hilarious to me about three kids who raised themselves looking at a nuclear family and being confused

4:42 “I am gaining so much understanding.” it does give some perspective on why number two is Like That

5:11 “oh, don't do this on my account! … I feel amazing.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again this whole thing reminds me of a manic episode

6:00 I’m glad she’s talking this through with him

6:40 it’s weird seeing them both in the frame and knowing they’re both tony hale

7:10 “you’re in denial.” someone had to say it

7:43 I don’t see how he could know that, logically

7:54 “what’s that?” “what?” “your neck, what’s wrong?” oop he knows

8:05 and there it is, he’s vacant

8:26 it makes me very sad that this might be the last time we hear this intro in a new episode

9:51 this very much seems like the “handful of almonds” kind of mother, and an unsavory atmosphere to grow up in

10:02 “it would have been nice to hear from you.” “you never pick up the phone!” “I find it a nuisance!” this conversation reminds me of my own mother and that is not good 😅

10:24 “I thought it might play better with your weird swinging pattern.” the backhandedness is not necessary

10:29 “and by the way, I sent letters. You could have written back.” “I'm not about to sleuth out my own daughter’s address!” “it’s right there on the envelope.'' Again, this reminds me SO much of my own mother. Not good

11:48 “One, do you find this lifestyle… stifling?” “No!” couple of things:

1. Don’t love that she’s trying to turn the siblings against each other. Super not cool, and, say it with me now, it reminds me of my mother. Not good

2. Different people have different needs and tastes. Number two said it herself, not everyone is happy to stay where they are

3. Does this whole family situation remind anyone else of breaking Amish? Like the whole thing of letting Amish people leave for a bit to see the world but shaming them for it at the same time? Because that's the vibe I’m getting

12:10 that shot of the house really highlights how many times they’ve added on to it. There are like 4 separate color schemes

12:25 I think the theme of this season is this guy being in denial. Like just in general

13:09 smart of Milligan to lure her inside but at the same time why would they let her go there unsupervised, she could easily get distracted by something or just go somewhere else on a whim

13:35 I stand corrected

13:51 “you were right. This is about control, it always has been” no shit

14:10 very sweet of him to say but that came VERY late

14:14 “oh, I wish we couldve gotten here sooner” PFFFT tell me he didnt just fake that. Curtain would be SO pissed

14:31 “you were faking it?” okay but that also means it’s still coming and they don’t know how to stop it

15:09 “what’s that?” Reynie you know I love you but you’re expecting to be raided. If you see a car, it’s probably them

15:16 INCREDIBLE song choice btw

15:24 I love that they brought the saw back 😂

16:03 why would they wait until the driver can see them pull the trap across the road, that’s dangerous for Miss Perumal and obvious for the driver to avoid

16:21 oh shit did it actually

16:22 “a fact I chose to hide” sneaky. But also wtf was all that build up for last episode? Was he rubbing his neck in the truck for nothing? And the whole faking the catatonia thing feels icky, that scene was incredibly sweet without the context that he was faking it

16:28 “but it changes nothing” dude. DUDE.

16:38 “what you felt a moment ago, that was real. More real than anything you could create.” that’s a big theme of the season, the genuine versus the synthetic

17:10 that shift in tone was unsettling- the music subtly changing plus nathaniel physically moving out of the moment

17:24 are those the people from the other two cars? Where did they get the extra greys from, there were maybe 4 people in each but that is way more than that running through the fields

17:56 “it’s a two-way street!” ….roll credits

18:03 “back off! This is my home.” okay but it isn't though, home is where you belong and you obviously didn’t feel comfortable staying here. It’s where you came from, sure, but not where you’ve settled down to roost. There’s a difference

18:23 so are they like, pulling that book 3 plot of Curtain controlling how things end? Like is that what’s happening? Are we just not going to have any action here after all that build up

18:41 “he helped me see that I've been possibly approaching things in the wrong way.” this feels like it’s coming somehow both for too early and far too late in the narrative

18:45 “and if you told me i’d ever say something like that, well, I’d never say something like that, but here we are.” always eager to save face

18:50 “now. You’re free to go and find your own path.” a hippie to the end. But also you literally told them how to behave for their formative years, you can’t just turn them loose and tell them to figure it out with no guidance when all you’ve done the past however many years is boss them around with an iron fist and bloody rage

19:15 “the door is open. Please. Discover who you are.” whaaaaat

19:29 what am I watching 😂

19:38 “YOUR PHILOSOPHY WILL LIVE ON!” “EVEN WITHOUT YOU!” and just like that the cult lives another day

20:20 well that is unsettling

20:25 ….she did finish an impressive portion of the puzzle though

20:31 “im responsible for this” yeah no shit

20:48 did they just. Take markers to the wall 😂 😂

21:44 I hope this means they’re all going to write shitty poetry insulting themselves in an attempt to make her laugh

22:06 “and as the people she cares about most in this world-”

22:29 this feels very similar to trying to communicate with someone who’s unresponsive in a hospital bed

22:37 “despite the relentless crabbiness, we actually all love spending time with you” awwww stopppp

22:49 remember that time you broke the whisperer with your brain?” we don't remember that actually, enlighten us. Sticky 😂

23:11 “we love you.” dawwwww

23:18 “we’re not making her happy. We’re annoying her.” what’s funny is she’s probably right lol. Spoken like a true former roommate

23:41 pleeease let this lead to insulting poetry. This reminds me so much of season 1 with Reynie trying to get Curtain to laugh himself to sleep with corny jokes

23:55 so is like one blink a sign that she’s coming back online lol

24:19 I find it hilarious that Kate is not only acknowledging her emotional dependency to her bucket but also encouraging Constance to make a dig at it. Funniest thing to come from this so far

24:20 is the twitching supposed to be a good sign orrrr

24:30 Constance is my favorite rhyming poet lol

24:48 I want to watch them dramatically recite poetry for the next hour, thank you

25:01 The enthusiasm 😂 😂 also she’s like fully short-circuiting now lol

25:13 he does love a good sweater vest

25:20 I cannot believe that worked

25:28 AWWWW SHE’S SO HAPPY SHE CAN DENY IT ALL SHE WANTS BUT LOOK AT THAT SWEET FACE

25:50 “thank you for saying goodbye before abandoning us again.” idk how many times I have to say this but she reminds me of my mother and that’s really not good

25:52 “is it really abandonment if you say goodbye?” okay but the way he was immediately shut down makes me upset

26:35 they have so much unresolved tension

26:53 again, they have so much unresolved tension

27:15 leadership role how?? They’re already there dude lol

27:27 “we would love to.” “in about.. 5 weeks.” LMAO WHAT ARE THEY PLOTTING

27:39 nerd 😂 he is adorable

27:47 “let’s go see Madge.” awwww

27:53 “okay. I was a little needy.” im so glad he’s talking this through

28:02 “I’ve got two places.”

28:19 everyone load on into the truck again, definitely not a traffic violation

28:32 oh hey, 5 weeks later! We can find out what Rhonda and Number Two had planned!

28:40 VICTORYYYYY

28:42 STOP THEY’RE SO CUTE

28:45 STOOOOOP I CANT WITH THEM, CELEBRATE QUEENS

28:50 I love that she has a bike helmet, I hope she casually rides a motorcycle places

29:14 HE’S VISITING STICKY AKDJFKJSHF

29:06 HE GOT LETTERS FROM EVERYONE

29:16 I get that its a special effect but the lava still looks cool

29:32 a few things:

they’re too damn cute

Kate has no reason to not know what a llama is now

I hope this means they took in the llamas that were previously in the compound

29:47 “you asked for a letter. This fulfills that request.” love to see Reynie voicing his needs to his friends, and love to see Constance being herself lol

29:59 LMAO FOR ANOTHER SWEATER

30:11 tell me that’s the same puzzle

30:17 his sweater is adorable btw

30:29 “then maybe.. Maybe you can find out where I come from?” ohhh my gosh, first of all referring to her past as a puzzle?? Second of all YES BABY GIRL.

30:38 ….theyre 51? Huh?? How does that work with the timeline. I feel like it fucks with the timeline

30:51 “I’m joining the society.” weird. Weird and without base.

30:57 Is it Garrison? Or maybe a Violet cameo? Probably not that but a girl can dream.

30:57 “turns out, we have a sister.” they’re pulling a Thor: Ragnarok on us. Or maybe a BBC Sherlock.

30:57 We have strayed so far from God.

31:15 that’s it?? They’re just going to leave it there??? You’ve got to be kidding. No way they just pulled the secret sibling card. For the SECOND TIME. and this time it’s not even canon.

I’m speechless. This show took a hard turn, then just kept driving that way LOL. what a way to go out… All I can say is I hope the show’s renewed, if only to see their wild ass narrative finished.

For some quick final thoughts, I think this season is conflicting for me. TPJ is probably my favorite of the books, and at the beginning of the season I was kind of enjoying it more than season 1. Now, they’ve gone SO far off the beaten path, the story is barely recognizable. How will they continue if it does get renewed? Now, we’ve got a New Badder Bitch sister, Curtain moving in for whatever reason (WITHOUT HIS SON???? WHERE IS THIS WALKABOUT), and Constance showing interest in her past. I think this season suffered because of shorter episodes, and probably a lower budget- not to mention them going wildly off-script with the plot. I wanted to like it so much more than I did, which is sad.

Maybe the real SQ was the friends we made along the way.

All that said, there were some really great moments, and I’m interested to see how the season holds up watching it all back to back with context.

Happy end of the season everybody!! I’m about to go on a reblogging spree for the last couple episodes, but everything should be tagged so it’ll be easy to blacklist if you need to. Let me know what you guys thought!!

#a two-way street #mbs liveblog #mbs disney+ s2 #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

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onlineplantscart · 5 months

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Creating a Home Jungle: Choosing Indoor Plants Online

Your Indoor Plants are More than Just Decorative Greens

Isn't it mindlowing that those succents in your living room are not just there to look pretty, even as they adorn the edges of that vintage coffee table you scored in a yard sale last month?

Whoa, hold on a second, let's back up. Did you say indoor plants are more than decorative greens? Heck yeah, they are! We're talking about those chlorophyl members of your family who do such important things as absorbing pollutants and producing clean oxygen. It's pretty incredible stuff.

Fun fact: Did you know that the popular spider plant, known for its love of bright, indirect light, is an absolute champion when it comes to eliminating formaldehyde and xylene in your homely atmosphere?

A Brave New World: Buying Plants Online

Now, here's where the magic starts, you don't even have to leave the comfort of your home. Yep, just like you can get a steaming hot pizza delivered to your front door, you can now buy plants online. Imagine opening the door wearing your favorite footsie pajamas (come on, we all have them) and seeing the UPS driver holding your new potted friend. Woo-hoo!

And just like how you'd research the best cheese to dough ratio before ordering a pizza, you'll want to dig into the details when choosing plants online.

Appraising the Real Deal: What to Look for When Buying Plants Online

It's like a fjord in an ocean of flowering options and unusual cacti, choosing the best indoor plants online can be overwhelming. Here’s where I suggest for us to play plant-detectives that crack the code!

Firstly, The Life Sustainer. Yep, I'm talking about the plant's light requirements. Some of 'em love the sun, whereas others are like your antisocial friend who loves the comfort of dim rooms.

Secondly, The Watering Can Dilemma. Watering amounts vary, some indoor plants appreciate a regular drink, and others are more of the 'less is more' type.

Thirdly, Talk about Size. Pay attention to how much space the plant needs to grow. Do you have enough room to house a sprawling Monstera? Or is your space better suited to a shy little Peace Lily?

Turning a New Leaf: Other Factors to Consider

You thought we were done? Oh, darling, we're just scratching the surface with this botanical shindig. Here are a few more things to contemplate when shopping for plants online.

Leaf it to the Season: Some plants are night owls (or rather, winter owls). They prefer the cold season and would barely break a sweat when Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. So, pick your plants based on the average room temperature.

Exotic or Domestic?: Some plants are native to your area and will bloom under your humble pampering. Exotic plants, on the other hand, they're like those high-maintenance influencers on Instagram.

Remember: The best indoor plants are the ones that suit your environment, lifestyle, and personality. After all, plants are the silent roommates that never complain about your cooking.

Are we Green Thumbs yet?

By now, you must be blooming with knowledge about choosing the best indoor plants online. See, it's not as daunting as it seems once we've leafed through the details together. Now go on, make your home a green oasis in the urban jungle!

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unit6isgeneric · 11 months

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Evaluation

To begin my evaluation, I chose to create my final piece following viscom, as it’s a design style i grew up with, I taught myself the ins and outs of editing softwares when I was younger, and always felt a deeper connection to it than any other creative art.

My specialist considerations included design theory, studying various artists, books, shows, films, photography, and even peoples lifestyles themselves to better understand and grasp what Visual Communication really is.

My ethical considerations included things like how mental health affects people, and what I can do as an individual to shed a better light on people’s struggles with these problems, and raise awareness for mental conditions that aren’t as considered as others.

Culturally, I have researched into various different artists and writers from all around the globe, taking inspiration from all sorts of people with their own walks of life, ideals, and of course, cultures.

My sustainability considerations revolved mainly around power saving. Our earth is depleting all of its resources, but i am more than aware that every bit of sustaining even things like electricity helps our earth in ways beyond what words can explain. I have also done my best to reuse and recycle any materials I use/find lying around in our studio to make the absolute most out of our resources and ultimately cut down on waste.

I chose OCD as a subject for my FMP as it’s A: Not something I would normally do, and i wanted to find a way out of my repetitive style and comfort zone, B: because I strongly believe that OCD isn’t represented in many areas worldwide as a serious mental issue, and growing up with people who struggled with those issues, it grew to be a really serious topic for me because I wanted to shed light onto that subject specifically. As I started this project, I learnt so much about the mental condition, and I was able to talk to so many brilliant people who opened my eyes to the real struggles of it all. One key thing I learnt that I found extremely interesting, is that in just the US alone, over 1% of people struggle with OCD. While that doesn’t sound like many people at all, it actually equates to over 70 million individuals. And keep in mind, that is just the US alone. I also learnt that OCD is a developed mental condition, which means that at any given point in your life, you could get it. Which is tough to think about when you acknowledge the fact that your family, friends, or even you could end up one day developing the condition. Because of this, the idea of my project never changed one bit. Throughout this whole process of my FMP, I have only wanted to work hard to push a strong message about OCD. When looking back at my final pieces, my peers all told me that creatively they work very well while also being minimalistic. While it’s not as eccentric as I’d like it to be, everybody said they could see my works being on billboards, advertisement screens etc as informational posters, that help push my agendas and hopes for the mental health community.

To begin with addressing how my experimental works influenced my final outcomes, the main thing that stood out to me was the content aware workshop we did, where we took our faces and distorted them beyond recognition, placing eyes and mouths where they shouldnt be, duplicating aspects of the face, and making things really obscure, and that spoke to me widely because of how similar these things are to OCD. People who struggle with it have to ensure everything is either perfect, or is done in a certain manner, and i feel like showing off visually what something ‘wrong’ is to a viewer, it sends such a strong and influential message about it all. One student in our class also inspired me with different typeface styles, gradients, and design techniques thatI would have never thought of incorporating, but in hindsight, listening and paying attention to all of these new things was an amazing time for me, and i’m so grateful to have learnt these things. Another person i’d like to mention is Wes Anderson, he was the main inspiration for my works, because his style is based around symmetry, and my works obviously have things to do with symmetry. when things aren’t symmetrical, sometimes we want to change them to make them perfect, however, perfection is what people fighting with OCD live this each and every day.

In regards to how workshops affected me, again, i was so grateful to have the opportunity to learn these new skills to hat i never bothered with or had even heard about. Things like the Content Awaring and PNG Sequencing. If i’d had had more time to do a png sequence short film for the exhibition, i definitely would have. Even with just these two skills combined, it managed to get me out of my comfort zone, which is exactly what i needed for my project. I feel much more confident in my new various styles, and cannot wait to continue exploring these new stylistic approaches to better myself in the absolute creative way I can. While I’m aware there’s still many many more creative avenues to choose from, I would love to continue mastering the current skills I have been taught, because I know that I co do so much better than what I have come out with, and I know that there is still a long path ahead to becoming a good designer.

Over last projects, facing a mistake or failure was brutal to me, I hated the thought of it and wished i could be the best at everything, but over recent years after picking up the creative arts, especially in this project more than ever, i have used the information ive had to better my pieces and understandings of design and the elements of composure. I’ve learnt that taking a step back and retrying things from a different angle can make things work, and that it’s not just all over when it may seem like it. One particular time where i resolved an issue was with one of my final posters. There was a typeface bug that made all of my text look wonky and slanted, and while it was frustrating, I slowly realised that I could use it to my advantage to create a meaningful piece. You can see the example of this wonky type in my second poster. Thinking about this all, dealing with problems in a level headed and optimistic manner has led me to make nee creative breakthroughs i would have never made before in previous projects because i would just throw the idea away and start anew.

I chose my ideas and methods of my final pieces through minimalism and black and white colourways. The reason i chose these styles is because I feel that you can push a strong message with something so bleak and small. And that is relative to OCD in the sense that something so bleak and small in the life of a person who struggles with this issue can cause such a huge difference in their mindset. I thought that that was a really interesting way to perceive things through a creative lens, so i stuck with it, and i think it worked amazingly. I believe that my pieces will relate to my audience through the type that is displayed on the page, it goes over factual information and also talks about struggle, which is something each and every human can understand, no matter what walk of life you come from.

When presenting my project, I used facts as my strategy to hook people on my project and get involved. I mentioned in my presentation the fact i stated earlier, which was about how 1% of people suffer with OCD, and how that actually equates to millions and millions of people. And i think that that really opened peoples minds up to the project really well. These facts are appropriate to my project from the standpoint of trying to help people to understand just how severe this mental condition is, and how badly media and various other things need to bring much more attention to it.

Through using facts and researching properly into the correct points, I was able to construct and explain my ideas clearly and concisely to anybody who had questions. I’ve had a clear idea of what i’ve wanted to do with this project throughput it’s entirety, and i think that that all boils down to doing the right research.

Because of all of this, I think my project went quite well. While there are always rooms for improvement in all things creative, i’m proud to say that I feel complete in this project and the outcomes I have managed, and it’s been completely refreshing to break out of my comfort zone, and into a new stylistic choice that so many people agree is brilliant.

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eatwellnutrition · 1 year

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STOP Comparing Yourself to MEN!

It's 2023 and everyone is setting new goals and taking a look at what needs to change in their life. In doing this we need to make sure we are setting realistic goals for ourselves,. Ladies, I am talking to you, in order to have a clear focus and set achievable sustainable goals, you need to understand you are NOT the same as your male counterpart. Your hormones are different, so different in fact, that you absolutely cannot compare yourself to the progress or change that your male counterpart is making. Men are driven by one hormone, testosterone, and they produce it every 15 minutes, we do not. Men are on a 24-hour hormone cycle, we are on a 28-day hormone cycle. We produce many hormones that fluctuate throughout the month, men do not. Men produce 30x the amount of testosterone that women do! So, when thinking about weight loss, muscle gain, energy, performance, and libido, understanding your hormones needs to be considered the #1 priority in your goals for 2023.

Nutrition, Lifestyle, and Exercise Dictate Your Hormone Health

If you are wondering where to start, nutrition is #1. Clean up your diet. Don't go on a diet, but take a hard look at the one that has gotten you where you are, and take out the things you know are holding you back.

Let me get you started. Start 2023 by eliminating these things:

1. Seed oils-this includes Canola oil, Soybean oil, Safflower oil, Sunflower oil, Cottonseed oil, Vegetable oil, Corn oil, Grapeseed oil, and refined Palm seed oil. These oils, termed as PUFAS (polyunsaturated fatty acids) are rancid, over-heated, processed oils, that cause irreversible damage to your cells, your arteries, and your brain. They are dumpster fires damaging everything they touch. They make you inflamed by increasing the production of cytokines, they disrupt your gut microbiome, and they cause a major immune response, no matter how healthy you think you are. Foods that contain seed oils:

1. Name Brand Mayonaise

2. Nut butter

3. Salad dressings and condiments

4. Soups and sauces

5. Commerical bread

2. Refined sugar, Fructose, and High Fructose Corn syrup (all added sugars). Did you know 1 in 3 adults are pre-diabetic, and 84% are unaware that they are? Americans consume 17.5 teaspoons of sugar per day!! That is a lot of added sugar that is contributing to your unwanted weight gain, hormone dysfunction, poor sleep, and cognitive decline.

Here are the tricky foods that contain a high amount of added sugars:

1. Cereals

2. Flavored yogurts

3. Granola bars

4. Juice and sports drinks

3. Processed foods: anything that is mass-produced in a factory with a label and multiple ingredients, preservatives, and words you can't pronounce. Eliminating this group of quick, processed "foodstuffs" (because that is what it is) is essential to restoring your hormone health and feeling better. Grab real food instead of fake food. Cook your food instead of eating fast food. Eat your calories, don't drink them. If your lifestyle, schedule, and finances are holding you back from making better choices with your food and you want to start feeling better, it might be time to look at your lifestyle choices, your job, your stress, the things that are going to be a bit riskier to change, but far worth it in the end.

Feeling Stuck and Giving Up

Only 16% of people follow through with their New Years' Resolutions. That means 84% of people give up, and usually within the first 2 months. Are you going to be a part of the 84%? Are you going to be among the 92% of Americans who are metabolically ill or the 8% who are metabolically healthy? These are scary numbers! But if we don't start looking at the facts, the true science behind the Food Industry and what it's doing to our hormones and our health, our lifespan will continue to decline and we will continue to age faster and feel more miserable. Make 2023 the year that you make changes for your health, get help, take the steps you need to take to change, and keep that change.

Here's how:

1. Ask yourself WHY-why are you desiring this change? Why are you setting these goals? Write down your why and remind yourself of it when you feel like giving up.

2. Set short-term goals as well as long-term and come up with daily and weekly habits to get you there. Don't set a goal for 6 months down the road and no plan to get you there.

3. Be realistic and set attainable daily habit changes that work with YOUR lifestyle and schedule.

4. Ask for help or get an accountability partner. Most people need someone to help keep them on the right track, 2 is better than one. Think about someone who has similar goals and desires as you and ask them to come alongside you.

5. Seek professional help. Hire a nutrition coach, find a functional medicine practitioner, and take action to get the answers you need to feel like yourself again. Happy, Healthy, and Whole.

Book a FREE Help Consultation

#hormones #fitness #estrogen #workout #women #recipes #hormone imbalance

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askagamedev · 2 years

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Is gaming industry having a brain drain? It looks like all the industry veterans left the industry altogether and all we have left is incompetent people who don't know how to design a game, lead a project, etc. Some reviews about big companies on glassdoor make this seem more apparent. What's your explanation on badly designed, unfinished games when people expect better products with technology we have in 2021?

All of the industry veterans, huh?

Some companies are bad actors, yes. I have been very candid in the past about how there is significant evidence that [CD Projekt RED is a sweatshop studio], especially on sites like Glassdoor. However, this does not necessarily support your point - most players absolutely adored CDPR's Witcher games, which were all built with the same sweatshop labor practices as before. But I would hesitate to paint the entire industry, from the smallest solo indie game developer to the multi-studio mass collaboration of hundreds of developers across the world, from mobile games in China to VR games on the Metaverse, from play-to-earn NFT games to whatever Star Citizen is to the annualized big budget Call of Duty or FIFA game, all with the same brush like you did. I would especially hesitate to say so when we continue to see highly decorated and greatly enjoyed games across the spectrum every year including this one - Deathloop, Monster Hunter Rise, Guilty Gear Strive, Forza Horizon 5, It Takes Two, etc. are all pretty great games.

I don't think your premise holds true. I don't think that the game industry is experiencing a universal brain drain. I actually think the opposite is true - the fact that games have shifted towards continued development of lifestyle games paid for by microtransactions has actually provided the industry a lot more sustainability than before, which helps retain talent and reduce overall churn. It isn't ideal - we still see examples of bad working environments, layoffs, and studio closures after all - but I am hopeful that things are moving in the right direction because I see workers organizing and collectively acting to demand better working conditions and results.

As for how I feel about badly designed or unfinished games, I don't necessarily like them but I can also see that even games with badly designed parts and/or games that feel unfinished can still contain significant elements that have merit and value. The kind of problems we devs need to solve and the solutions that these game devs ship warrant examination and investigation. I think that it is worth it for me to look them over and appreciate what they did right as well as what they did wrong, how I might approach a similar problem, and consider what kind of constraints they were under. I think everybody would stand to take this more nuanced approach and find things in games to appreciate. I think it would certainly contribute to healthier overall discourse than the hate parade that dominates the youtube algorithm.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

The FANTa Project is being rebooted. [What is the FANTa project?]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

#working in the game industry #game development myths #warts and all #personal soapbox

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showrunnerihardlyknowher · 3 years

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Humans? Up MY Beanstalk? It's More Likely Than You Think!

AO3 Link

Danny's back on her bullshit and here to make everyone suffer with another WIP that's part of a fic trade with my beloved @hiddendreamer67 <3

Summary: I mean, Jack made it all sound so easy! Climb up the beanstalk a few times, steal enough riches to last himself ten life times, and live happily ever after as a heroic giant slayer with absolutely no repercussions.

Seriously, how hard can it be?

Aiden was no stranger to life events going from bad to worse at the drop of a hat, but more often than not he was able to go with the turbulent flow just enough to keep his head above water and out of any serious trouble. Such a feat was most evident in his adaptation to living within the labyrinth-like walls of the oversized castle he had foolishly sought refuge in weeks prior. Had it been weeks? Months, perhaps, or maybe only a handful of days. The passage of time was just as foreign to him as these massive surroundings, these massive people , and he didn’t have the gall to weasel his way towards an opening near the outside to gauge how high or low the sun was sitting in the strangely pink sky.

The irony was almost funny; where was that fool hearted bravery he had been swimming in when he first started his ascension up the winding stalk that sprouted who knows how many decades ago to reach its impressive height? He knew the stories of young boys trading cows for beans and getting far more than they bargained for. He knew it was down right suicidal to scale the plant in general given he hadn’t a lick of training when it came to climbing anything other than a ladder. The opportunity to live within a legend was too good to pass up, unfortunately. The flimsy promise of riches and adventure beyond his wildest dream outweighed the need to even consider how he was going to get back down from the towering growth when he was inevitably disappointed by the lack of golden eggs.

But he didn’t succumb to the thin air or fall to his death, and he wasn’t disappointed. If anything, he was given everything he envisioned. Almost everything. When he broke through the cloud line, he discovered the vine had tapered off in favor of clinging to a cliff side he was unaware even existed from below. Green tendrils served as almost a ladder to aid his climb up the mysterious rock formation until he was able to pull himself, huffing and panting and muscles tingling from overuse, over the edge to collapse on horizontal land. So the fabled kingdom of riches didn’t actually rest on the clouds, it seemed. A small let down, but hardly anything worth dampening the mood as Aiden took in his new world view.

He felt as if he had switched places with a weevil seeing how the small patch of grass he was in came up to his chest rather than swishing against his ankles. The euphoria of this great new discovery once again drowned out the more rational side of him, favoring exploration over potential survival. The logistics of returning home could be dealt with later, after he had slayed a giant and stolen only a penny of its wealth that would no doubt provide for him for the rest of his life. Naive. Gullible. Fool hearted.

Aiden had only trekked for a few hours before nearly getting swallowed up by a winged beast he likened to a bat, washing away over the edge of the cliff in a stream, and getting trampled by hulking soldiers doing their rounds. Each close call he survived by the skin of his teeth, luck and adrenaline driving him blindly to find a moment of safety. However, with each incident his bravery withered away into trepidation, especially the closer he came to the giants that roamed the lands. None of them had noticed him yet and part of him wondered if they would ever notice something as miniature as him scurrying around, but he wasn’t feeling bold enough to stay out in the open just for their reaction. No, once he had slipped into the fortress of metal and stone, out of sight from any predator's eyes, the will to venture back out had faded into near nothingness.

If he had it his way, he doubted he would ever again have the gung ho to leave the confines of his newfound sanctuary, not even for the bittersweet desire of returning home. He had made his bed in his haste to seek glory out of tall tales and now he must lie in it. Though his heart ached with anxiety and his hands ceased to tremble, his traitorous stomach refused to let him continue a life of solitude amongst the dusty beams. A weaker part of him couldn’t help but wonder if it would be worth it to live with the gnawing pain until it eventually overtook him. A fitting end, would it not, to starve to death like a rat in the walls? Alas, he was weak, but not weak enough to endure such aggressive cramping by the end of the second day, and so he mustered all the strength and courage he could just to snatch a few stale breadcrumbs long forgotten behind what he assumed was a cast iron stove.

Aiden truly was living up to his new rodent lifestyle, wasn’t he.

It was disgusting, but it was food, and though it made him ill the remainder of the night it had at least provided him with enough energy to go back out the next night in an effort to find something an inch more sustainable. By the end of the week, his newly discovered drive to live had him exploring every corner of the expansive kitchen during the wee hours of the night, when no giants hurried back and forth between the counters and the galley to serve platters of meals that could have fed his own village for months at a time. The rich smell of hot breads and meats made him dizzy, even more so now that he was getting accustomed to surviving off of dusty scraps he found on the floor. He needed to play it safe, he reminded himself as he watched one of the chef’s throw out an entire pan of fresh loaves because there’s too many chives in this! It’s too bitter for his tastes! , hardly resisting the urge to dive into the bins after the wasted food.

But...if they were so keen as to throw away an entire batch of fully prepared food over the fact that it was unsuitable for one person’s palette...surely there was no harm in taking what would be considered a nibble. Not when it was unwanted.

There it was again, that fool hearted bravery. If only Aiden had used it to find a way out of this unofficial prisoner rather than fuel his greed. He couldn’t be happy with the bare minimum he was given, could he? Always had to push the boundaries when he knew exactly where they lied, always run headfirst towards danger and then act surprised when it would bite him in the ass moments later. At least this time around he had the forethought to formulate some type of a plan, as flimsy as it was. Having become quite familiar with the inner structures of the fortress, he was able to determine the abode he was in was something along the lines of a castle. It was certainly sprawling enough, decorated with dark colors and glittering riches and constantly bustling with workers ranging from lowly servants to chittering socialites. Whether or not this was indeed a house for royalty he was unsure, having never been able to pinpoint which of the ambling lords or ladies might be the esteemed ruler of the lands. Assuming monarchies even existed this high, that is. Perhaps this was merely the norm of their society’s standards. It was unlikely, but it wasn’t as if he had many outside resources to compare this way of life to, not even in the way of his own village.

In theory, the heist should have been easy. In theory . All he had to do was wait until the dead of night for the bustling kitchen to fall silent as it normally did and he could slip out from the crevice closest to the scraps bin. Scaling in and out of the bin might prove trickier than he anticipated, but that remained a problem for future Aiden. The most important part of his newfound mission was being able to fill his stomach up with day-old bread and cold meats before they were discarded for good. If all went well, this could easily become a nightly routine of his, a way to feast like a king whilst living like a rat within the true royalty’s walls. He knew he was getting ahead of himself with that kind of fantasizing, perhaps that was even the beginning of his downfall, but he had so little to look forward to these days that he dared to get his hopes up for a semi-decent meal.

He hadn’t even made it halfway across the counter before he was spotted and subsequently captured.

But he had been so careful , he lamented to himself when the air was roughly knocked from his lungs after a massive hand slammed on top of him, pinning any squirms. True, he reflected as the stars cleared his vision, he never actually bothered to see if the kitchen remained vacant all night given that he was asleep...but he just assumed! Who in the world would be up during this hour!? Someone else sneaking a snack, maybe, just as he was. He could use that to his advantage, try and gain a few sympathy points by connecting with the giant on that level, convince them that all he needed was just a fraction of whatever they were probably getting for themselves and he would be on his way for good. A lie, of course, but the giant didn’t need to know that.

Once more, that short lived plan would never be put to use when Aiden felt himself being lifted in the air within a bone crushing grip, metal and leather digging into him in various places from the glove the giant wore. His eyes barely adjusted from the dizzying movements and dim kitchen before they were blown open at the sight, constricted breathing still entirely for a heartbeat. This was no ordinary giant, not like the ones he had grown accustomed to glancing at from the nooks and crannies. At first glance, however, it did fit the bill for the most part -- biped, guard’s armor, a human face -- but...did these giants typically have glowing purple eyes? He couldn’t recall for certain, yet the more he looked the more he found that appeared off. The outline of the guard’s figure seemed...fuzzy, like they were blurred rather than a solid defining line. His face, harsh and scrutinizing, was greyer than a corpse. He was otherworldly, and it was at that moment Aiden was painfully reminded he was in another world, one he didn’t belong in. One he knew he would be leaving quickly.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the guard rumbled, his voice grating more like static than a growl.

“N-no…” Aiden agreed. Anything to get on his good side. “I’ll go, I’ll l-leave!”

Though he had found his voice, he had yet to find the strength to attempt any kind of struggle, not that he thought he’d be able to budge the massive fingers in the slightest. However, if he showed just how eager he was to depart from this situation, maybe the giant would believe him and grant him that small mercy. Instead, he was given another rough squeeze that made his spine pop, the fist clenching him raising higher so that he was more at eye level with his captor.

“How did you get in here, human? ” The guard spat. Good news was that humans were a known creature, at least. Bad news was that humans, apparently, were not known for any pleasant reason.

Aiden panted, trying to suck in a much needed breath after all of his were forced out. “I-I don’t know…” He squealed in discomfort when the fingers tightened again, refusing to let up until he gave a more satisfactory answer. “Th-the walls! I came through the walls! ”

The guard snorted and slackened his grip to allow an inch of breathing room, “Of course you did. Little pest that you and your kind are.”

“Wh...what are you…?” A bold question, but since he was sure it was to be one of his last, Aiden saw no reason not to ask.

He wasn’t given an answer, the giant instead lowering him slightly to exit the kitchen and pace down the halls. The scenery whizzed by so fast that it made his head spin, catching a few looks at other giants that were loitering about. Just like the guard, they were similar to the ones he would see in the daytime but...different. The two guards they passed looked to be of the same race of whatever the one holding him was, a noblewoman in a shimmering capelet eyed him suspiciously and he could have sworn her ‘capelet’ flittered before settling back down her shoulders. How had he never seen any of these attributes in the day? Then again, he often viewed the giants in the fortress at a distance and never for very long, they could have all been magically endowed for all he knew. Or, another theory, the ones he was coming across now were merely nocturnal and their more...normal housemates were sound asleep as he typically was while these creatures did their rounds and had their fun.

The wonderment was short lived when the giant shoved his way through a heavy wooden door at the very end of a lesser used corridor. With each step down the spiraling stone staircase, Aiden felt his heart sink just a little lower. The long shadows casting against the walls from the torches mounted to them gave the dank atmosphere an even more sinister vibe, leaving too many unknown things able to hide in the darkness. Even the guard, who did not appear to be an overly friendly fellow to begin with, looked twice as menacing with how the shadows concealed the few human features he did have. Aiden swallowed thickly, unsure of where they were heading but already knowing it wasn’t good.

His hunch was confirmed when the guard entered another hall, one lined with cramped cells that were partially occupied. He tried not to look at them and their fates, not wanting to see what might be awaiting him as well. Likely not, though. He was far too small to shackle and imprison. A different punishment would have to be in store for him. Further down the hall, the dungeon changed its holding cells from ones with iron bars to ones with solid steel doors instead, obscuring whatever poor bastard was locked within. Was that considered a crueler punishment? Perhaps that was where the torturing took place, if such types of creatures indulged in those acts. He saw no reason why they wouldn’t and as a result could very easily imagine himself being thrown in there next.

Fortunately, or not, the guard instead opened another wooden door that was adjacent to several of the isolated cells, coming to stand before another giant sitting at a table. Aiden couldn’t tell what was on the desk or what this new giant was using these unknown things for, but from the jist of it he must have been busy.

“Sir,” the guard holding him said while raising him higher for the presumably important one to see better. “A human has been found within the perimeter.”

The guard, a captain if Aiden were to guess, frowned. “Any others?”

“None that I could sense in the immediate area.”

He sighed and waved his hand. “We’ll do a sweep before daybreak. Who knows the amount of damage it’s done...what it’s taken, what it’s told.” He fixed Aiden with an icy glare that made the poor human try to shrink in on himself.

He wished he could have found a way to defend himself, plead his case, but his voice was nowhere to be found now. All cowardliness and no self preservation.

“And how shall I dispose of this one, sir?” The guard asked and Aiden paled. Dispose!?

The one in charge shrugged a shoulder and resumed what he was doing previously, fiddling with tools and books and papers for one reason or another. “Put it on lunch duty. Give the lizard another rat to keep him busy.”

Aiden didn’t quite follow the logic of the order. Lunch duty didn’t sound half as bad as being disposed of. The ‘lizard’ was news to him, but regardless the guard nodded at his order and left the office back down the corridor of steel doors. He wasn’t sure if he should speak up and ask for clarification while he mulled over his rather lenient sentencing, doubtful the giant would even regard him. From the looks of disgust and distrust he had been given numerous times in the short span of time he had been discovered, he could gather that his presence was an unwelcome one, though why he was still unsure. Evidently, he was going to be put to work and he could most certainly live with that. Earn his keep, he reasoned. Give rats to lizards or something. Would these rats and lizards be the same kind as the ones back on his homeworld down below or would they be to scale with the giants? Another question he should probably speak aloud before he got in over his head.

Or, at least, he would have asked, had a wad of cloth not been jammed into mouth hard enough to make his jaw click uncomfortably. He gagged, trying to shove the offending material out with his tongue, but it was packed into his cheeks too tightly to budge. A different material, a thin rope, was quickly wound around his chest to pin his arms to his sides before wrapping further down to bind his ankles. It had happened in the flash, the guard giving him no warning or reasoning for the sudden confinement, but it wasn’t as if Aiden could offer up much protest now that it was all said and done. He was completely immobile, spun up like a fly in a spider’s web. The guard had done it with such efficiency that it must be something similar to a routine for him by now which did not bode well. In a last ditch effort to save his hide from whatever...this was, he looked up at his captor with wide, pleading eyes, begging for just a shred of sympathy or at the very least an explanation of what was about to happen.

All he was met with was the same cold, violet eyes as all the other giants he had come to pass. Equally cruel and indifferent. And it was then he understood, as he was being roughly shoved through a hand slot at the base of one of the sturdy metal cell doors, that he was not the one who was meant to be delivering the meals during “lunch duty”. He was the meal. He was the rat, which meant the lizard was…

Aiden wriggled as best he could manage in his position until he was able to roll onto his back and get a good look around the cell. It was massive to him, but compared to the size of the giants he could tell it was rather cramped. Dark and depressing, much like one would expect a lonely prison cell to be, with the scattering of tiny bones and grime along the stone walls. His breathing quickened as he tried to tell just what type of origin the gnawed remains had been, however it was too difficult to tell at this distance in such gloom lighting. Perhaps that was for the best, giving his brain a little boost of reassurance that maybe they weren’t all human bones, that this wasn’t a common fate most of his kind befell when they made the same foolish mistake of invading where they clearly did not belong.

Trying to avoid the glare of bones only worsened his situation tenfold when he turned his head and was met with what was, obviously, the lizard as previously mentioned. Well, partially a lizard? More human-looking than lizard just going off a quick glance which led Aiden to believe the nickname was meant to be a derogatory term for whatever species it was. It...he? Yeah, he was kneeling on the floor, not by choice, but rather due to the shackles that bound him at the wrist and was tethered to the floor with a pitifully short chain. The clothes he wore reminded him of something he might have caught a few nobles wear given the level of craftsmanship and hand woven designs. It was a shame they were soiled now in what he could only assume was sweat and dirt, how he hoped that was dirt. The prisoner picked his head up when he heard the food slot screech open and shut, waiting for any other sound before sighing at the responding silence.

The chain jingled as he shifted to reposition himself into something a little more comfortable, Aiden now catching sight of the black nails that blended into scales littering the back of his hand when he flexed his fingers. A tail briefly flicked into view before concealing itself behind him once again. As the human let his gaze trail further up his face, fully prepared to see another hateful glare burning a hole through his weak soul, he couldn’t help but notice another spattering of black scales along his cheekbones and down his neck, presumably up to his eyes as well, but...well, he couldn’t tell. Not when there was a tattered, red cloth tied around his head, effectively blinding the sense. He wondered if this was an ailment the giant already had or if this was another part of his punishment, curious if he even had any eyes still in their sockets beneath the shoddy wrappings. Whatever the case was, the “lizard” obviously couldn’t see him and Aiden was unable to alert him to his presence with the gag shoved down his throat, leaving them at an awkward stalemate.

A stalemate that lasted all of two seconds before the giant wrinkled his nose and frowned. “The hell kind of rodent is this…? ” he muttered to himself.

So much for not knowing he was there. With great effort, Aiden twisted his body until he was able to turn on his side, trying to push himself up into a sitting position. He froze when the giant started to move as well, pointed ears twitching in response to the light scuffling he was making against the floor to pinpoint his location. Despite one of his senses being dulled, it was evident his remaining ones were still working in perfect order, maybe even heightened to compensate for the lack of vision.

“Another live one,” he sighed, fingers flexing again, “Sorry about this little buddy. I don’t like live prey any more than you like being it, I’m sure, but, well…”

That was the only warning Aiden had before the giant lunged, teeth snapping an inch in front of his frozen body. From this close, he could see the needle-thin fangs previously hidden behind a grimace and instantly wanted to be far, far away from them. His only saving grace was the short lead the other had on his cuffs, preventing him from pushing off any closer and cutting him off just shy of his prize for the time being. He growled in annoyance at having missed the offered prey, pulling back to realign himself for a better pounce.

“Come on, just make this easy for the both of us,” the giant huffed.

Oh, absolutely not. No, no, no. No, this was not how Aiden wanted his adventure in the skies to end. Fuck the adventure, he wanted to go home and he wanted to do so alive and in one piece. Being ripped to shreds was not a fate he ever envisioned for himself. He wasn’t going to die like some...some rat!

The giant was inching closer, moving along the side as much as the chain would allow to get a better angle. It didn’t matter whether he ensnared the tiny between his claws or teeth or even batted its little corpse within reaching distance with his tail, so long as he was able to get a hold on its fresh flesh one way or another. Desperately, Aiden began to rock back and forth to shimmy his body across the floor, painstakingly putting centimeters of distance between them that the giant was able to make up in a single shuffle. When the chain pulled taunt again, the human rolled to the side and narrowly missed the clamp of teeth once more, hot breath blowing against his back and covering his body in goosebumps. Undeterred, however, the giant followed his scent that was so tantalizingly close and moved his body in unison with Aiden’s. With another bite, he was able to find purchase on the ropes that burned against his arms and sunk his fangs in what he supposed was meant to be an animal's tender flesh.

Aiden had tried to avoid the attack but simply could not scramble away quick enough, his only luck being that he was just far enough that the gnashing teeth only managed to puncture through the fibers of rope rather than his actual skin. He was lifted into the air when the giant pulled back, kicking and thrashing to the best of his ability against the hold. The humid air blowing on the back of his head made him nauseous now, only able to envision how the feeling would quickly be enveloping him entirely when he was thrown back and swallowed down the creature’s gullet. With one, final twist, Aiden prayed his limited strength would be enough to somehow dislodge himself from the giant’s maw and give him another chance at playing this unbalanced game of chase.

And then the rope snapped.

Having already been sawed and frayed in several places from the giant’s fangs, Aiden’s pull was all it needed to rip apart entirely, sending the human sprawling onto the cold ground. His vision clouded when his head smacked against the stone, ironically thankful for the wad of cloth in his mouth or he most certainly would have lost a few teeth. Without a doubt, he was going to have a nasty bruise coloring the majority of his right side in the near future, the ache still pulsing with every wheezing breath he tried to gain back. While the stars faded from his eyes, he watched distantly as the giant curiously grinded the material in his mouth before dropping it. He pursed his lips in confusion, expecting raw meat and the rush of blood rather than some scratchy coils of what almost tasted like hide.

“Gods, what even is this,” he cringed.

Me , Aiden wanted to cry out, it’s me, it’s a human!

The giant’s hang up with his unusual meal faded into resignation much sooner than Aiden would have liked. He was hardly to blame, though, if he had been given nothing but live pests to blindly hunt down without the use of his full mobility for an undetermined amount of time. They were in a similar boat, really. Creatures trapped in a home they had no business being in, trying to survive on what little scraps were thrown their way. The human sorely wished he hadn’t been relegated into the scraps category, but there was little he could do about that now. Knowing his prey had a pretty straight forward drop, he moved again with an open mouth to seal the foreign creature’s fate.

The sight of teeth rushing to greet him was exactly the adrenaline rush Aiden’s body needed to get moving again, much more successfully this time now that he had arms to push up with and legs to carry him a greater distance. As much as he would have loved to have sprinted to the other side of the cell, even find another crack to slip through if fate would feel the desire to be so kind to him today, he only managed to stumble a few feet out of the immediate danger zone before tripping over himself. His right leg screamed in agony from the second fall, a sign of something being sprained somewhere he was sure. He wanted to scream out loud as well had it not been for the gag. The gag he realized he could take out now. Unsure of how useful his last words would even be, the human ripped the wad of cloth out of his mouth in a frenzy while the giant prepped himself for another attack. If anything, at least Aiden could find catharsis in leaving some sort of statement about himself behind for someone to hear, even if it was just confirmation of his fool heartedness.

“Stop!” Aiden yelled, voice raw and itching his throat like it hadn’t been used in ages rather than half an hour. “Please, stop! G-get away! ”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting the giant to do as a result, but one thing was clear and it was that he most certainly wasn’t expecting his meal to say anything. He reeled back like he had been physically struck by those words, if his eyes were visible he was sure they would be as wide as serving platters. It was almost comical how he stumbled back, the menacing creature suddenly so fearful of a tiny vermin it was trying to consume moments prior, mouth agape as he tried to process what was going on without being able to actually see it.

“You...did you just, oh my gods,” he gasped. While he was glad he was being spared for the time being, the giant’s nervousness did little to quell the anxiety that had been brewing in Aiden’s heart since the moment he came upon this accursed land.

“Ple-please…” Aiden whimpered, suddenly drained physically and emotionally from the whole ordeal and settling to just drag himself any extra distance he could away from his unofficial death penalty. It was a pathetic display, but on the bright side, one he wouldn’t be mocked for. “Don’t h-hurt me…”

The giant shifted again, hesitant, closer , and Aiden braced himself for the final bite to end it all.

“You can talk!? ”

#g/t #fearplay #g/t writing #giant/tiny #macro/micro #gianttiny #my writing #hiddendreamer67 #MANDY MY BELOVED #also these are officially her OCs so don't ask me for ANYTHING about them #these are HER KIDS NOW i sign over my parental rights #well #i guess they're mine until I get chapter two out

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imperatriceauxdiamants · 3 years

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Do you have any advice on how to lose some weight? Nearly all of my fat is on my stomach and rear, but my arms and calfs are really skinny.

I go on a daily morning walk for 7.3 km for 1 & 1/2 hours. I'll soon be starting a healthy diet with my Mum. Do you have any additional tips?

First of all, I'm not a medical professional, I'm offering as advice what did work for me. I used to have a BMI of 31, and I went so high because I was leading such a unhealthy diet composed of cakes almost daily, minimal activity due to depression, eating way more than I should eat. Think Thanksgiving food belly almost everyday.

Make your healthy diet a sustainable lifestyle and internalize that it's not temporary. It is good quality food that you're indigesting to make yourself feel better and happier with yourself and your body. It is the new YOU that you're building up, not some "challenge" or temporary thing. The diet you had before gave you the body you're not satisfied with, so that's obviously not a good diet. You gotta go a bit healthier to notice some results.

Those results are going to be GRADUAL. You won't have flat stomach in one week. Never gonna be sustainable.

Keep the new healthy sustainable habits that you PREFER to the unhealthy habits you had before.

Also, the fact you're already doing some excercise is absolutely amazing, it is wayyy better than being sedentary. Carry on like that! I'd look into doing calisthenics work, pushups, planks, cruches, squats in-order to have a body that is healthier and can adapt to almost any situation. Stretches will also bring you body awareness and make you feel more comfortable in your body.

Also, a diet rich in sugar and in salt, and lack of water consumption will worsen water retention in the fatty tissues which is going to make the "fatty" zones look way bigger than they actually are. Start by going soft on the salt, skipping that dessert and only eating it OCCASIONALLY so it actually becomes a treat than a dessert. Also drink insane amounts of water. You should never feel thirsty. That alone should help you a lot.

Btw, there's sugar in almost everything. Including those "healthy" bars. Last bar I tried out was like 20g in added sugar which is ridiculously high. For a tiny ass bar. And the daily maximum recommended ADDED sugar is like 25g (AHA) to 40g a day (WHO). And the average American consumes something around 88g a day (Havard School of public health).

Bonkers when we think about it.

For hydration, I personally make two teapots of tea (approx 3 cups each) morning and evening (tisane, decaf), and I try to eat soups and more liquidy meals that make it dead easy to increase the water consumption. You can prep fruit water with thinly sliced fruits (makes the fruit liberate more flavor, and more flavor for less fruit to use!), eat more soups, privilege eating water rich fruits etc. Find the way that works the best for you.

To the end you have to trust what makes your body feel genuinely good and happy on the long term. If you don't feel good eating one specific ingredient (asparagus for me lol), do not force yourself to eat it and find healthy food workarounds, new ways to cook, etc.

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mighty-ragnarssons · 3 years

Text

Knocked Up | Modern Vikings AU | Chapter I

Relationships | Modern Ivar x OC Summary | Ivar always thought he'd be one of those people that never find the love of their lives. But then he found her - or, as the story goes, she bumped into him. He never saw it coming. Then he had to deal with it, and all the consequences that came along. Warnings | some smut, a little angst, harassement, teenage pregnancy

You can read in AO3 as well (click here).

Chapter 1

There was no one in town that didn’t know about the Ragnarssons, the children of the famous Ragnar Lothbrok. They were fearless, they were reckless, and they were dangerous, just like their father. That’s what everybody said.

Bjorn was the eldest, the first-born of Ragnar’s first marriage with Lagertha. There had been a daughter too, Gyda, but she had passed away terribly young. After that, Ragnar had only sons born from his second marriage, this time with Aslaug. First came Ubbe, then Hvitserk and Sigurd. All of them perfectly healthy and strong boys that, much like Bjorn and to Ragnar’s amusement, took after their father in several ways. Unexpectedly and accidentally, however, there was a fifth child, the last son of Ragnar, Ivar.

Ivar was very different from his brothers.

Born with a bone condition, he was crippled from the start. It was not just his legs that wouldn’t allow him to ever walk on his own, but a whole lot more pain coming from his frail bones that were never to be trusted. No wonder he grew up as a vulnerable, angry, and sad kid, despite being his mother’s favorite and most protected son. And now, as he was becoming a man, people called him mad and a drunk, a wild card with whom everyone rather stay away from. Ivar didn’t mind, he preferred to be tamed than to be pitied after a lifetime of being looked down on. In fact, he would do everything in his power to remain like this. It was the only way to prove himself and stay out of his brothers’ shadow and, most importantly, his father’s to who Ivar was the least favored son, something which hurt the boy more deeply than his constant physical pain.

“Hurry up, Ivar. Crawl faster, or else when we get to the club Ubbe and Hvitserk will have gotten all the best girls” Sigurd’s voice echoed loudly through the house.

Ivar was there a second later clearly annoyed at his brother’s mocking tone. “Last time I checked, dear brother, you need me to drive you. So shut up. Let’s go.”

Sigurd couldn’t argue back. He did need Ivar to drive them to the club. He kept failing at taking his driver’s license. It was humiliating to have to need his crippled brother to drive him, but Ubbe and Hvistserk, the bastards, hadn’t been home. Minutes afterward Ivar was behind the wheel of his accessible SUV and off they were.

Thirty minutes later they were skipping the line to get into the club. The Ragnarssons had their ways. If there was one circuit in which their name was known by everyone, it was the nightlife one. No party would ever start without one of them being there. Ivar and Sigurd joined Ubbe and Hvisterk in the VIP area. As usual, Ivar took a corner where he knew he’d spend the next few hours drinking, smoking, and glaring at the dancing crowd. Perhaps if someone caught his eye he’d make a move, but usually, it was more like his brothers to do that.

“There you go” Hvitzerk handed him a joint “Don’t look so serious, Ivar. The night is young. Enjoy!” By the looks of it, it was clear that he was already a bit high. But again it was Hvitserk and unusual would be to find him sober. “A lot of pretty ladies out there. Want me to pick one for you?”

Ivar knew Hivtserk was only joking, but he still didn’t like it. His brother, ignoring Ivar’s cold glare and much to his annoyance, started pointing out to random girls who were dancing. “Oh, look at that one. C’mon Ivar, ain’t she a treat to stare at?”

Thankfully, Hivtserk stopped his stupid game once their oldest brother Bjorn joined them, bringing shots to everyone with the help of his wife, Torvi.

“Brother, to what do we owe the honor?” Ivar said, throwing one of his ironic smirks.

“I bring good news. Father is going to be released from jail sooner than expected. In three months to be exact! I had to pull some strings but it’s settled”

The news was received with different reactions. Sigurd didn’t seem that happy, while Ivar was the opposite. Ubbe was the first one to hold one of the shot glasses and started the toast “To Father! To Ragnar!”

Ragnar had been in prison for almost three years due to white-collar crimes, having been convicted of corporate fraud and money laundering. His sentence would’ve been of more than ten years, but Ragnar had his ways and was able to cut a deal for five years. And now, apparently, he would only serve almost four. Throughout this time it had been Bjorn taking over the leadership of the family’s successful business, Northmen Ventures, of which all of Ragnar’s sons had become the sole shareholders just before he was imprisoned. This explained why they were one of the richest families in their Norwegian city of Bergen.

Bjorn, now age 30, had been the natural successor of Ragnar. Not only because he was the oldest and perhaps the favorite son of Ragnar, but also because at the time he was the only one with a university degree, having just graduated from Law School. Yet, all of Ragnar’s sons were meant to get involved with the business. At least that was their father’s wish. Ubbe, now 24, had just graduated from Architecture School but had recently joined Bjorn on the company’s executive board. Ivar wasn’t given the opportunity to help out, something which he grudged his older brothers - for dismissing him for his age, despite the fact that he’d watch and learned as much from his father as possible since an early age. Now 19 he was a freshman in college taking Business Administration. Then there were Hvitserk, 23, and Sigurd, 21, the ones more adamant about following in their father’s footsteps. Hvitserk was using the money they were all getting to sustain his pricy bachelor lifestyle, and so was Sigurd who dedicated most of his time to art and music. Neither tried to pursue a higher education degree.

“Don’t get too excited. Father will be back and then what? It’s not like he cares about us.” Sigurd, the mood killer, chugged his beer aggressively “He didn’t let us visit him in prison not even once. Not even Mother was allowed to. He didn’t even care for sending a postcard for Christmas!”

“He must have had his reasons.”

“And he left us the company”

“And so what? He just wanted to prevent it from ending up in the hands of the government. Fuck him! You might all want to play the role of doting sons, but I’m not gonna tag along” After this Sigurd stormed off.

The remaining brothers looked at one another. A little bit of what Sigurd had just said resounsed with them, but at the same time they were excited to welcome back their father. Things would be very different with him around.

“I say we celebrate.” Ivar said, not minding Sigurd. He couldn’t wait for his father to be back so that he could prove himself once and for all. He was no longer the defenseless crippled child he was when Ragnar went away.

Despite the good mood he was in about Bjorn’s good news, Ivar wasn’t vibing with the club’s atmosphere that night. Hvitserk and Ubbe were making out with some random girls, Sigurd was nowhere to be seen and Torvi and Bjorn had left already. Instead, he was craving for some adrenaline and he knew just the way to get it. Texting his dealer, he left the club with the help of his crutches.

Nothing was to stop him except that on the way out someone bumped into him almost causing him to lose his fragile balance. Fury grew on Ivar who was about to yell at whoever made the mistake of infuriating him that night, but that’s when her face lost the blurriness of a few seconds ago and Ivar lost his balance again but for a completely different reason.

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to...shit”

“Bitch, get back! For the hundredth time, you’re not getting in!”

The girl’s expression quickly turned one of desperation. “I told you I have to. My cousin needs help! Don’t stop me, please” Her words were towards the bouncer that was now pulling her back, but her pleading eyes were on Ivar as if asking for help.

“Hey, let her go!” Ivar didn’t know why, but his rage got up to new levels when he saw the bouncer getting his filthy hands on her. “I said back off. Take your fucking hands off of her.”

At Ivar’s command the bouncer let her go. It didn’t matter that he was a big muscle guy, Ivar took a step towards him and faced him with a cold death stare.

“She’s coming in with me, do you understand?”

“Ragnarsson, she is a minor. I can’t let her in.”

“I’m not asking.”

His tone set it. He nodded so that the girl got in the club ahead of him. She didn’t even say a word, going immediately in. Ivar had to hurry himself inside to catch up.

“Fuck, there’s so many people” she noticed looking absolutely lost.

“Let me help you.” he offered.

“The bathrooms. My cousin... she called me, she didn’t sound fine… I’m worried something’s happened... She said she couldn’t move” she was trembling as she spoke. Ivar reached her hand with his.

“If she is here we are going to find her.” he assured her “Follow me”

It was not typical of Ivar to help a lady in distress but as he was guiding this girl through the crowd of drunk dancing people he couldn’t understand the need he was abruptly feeling for shielding her and, worst of all, to comfort her. These feelings left him uneased, but he was not going to dwell into that right now. If his suspicions were right and her cousin was somewhere in the club, then she was probably drugged to the point of unconsciousness and in a position to be taken advantage of.

They swiped all the bathrooms at the club until at last they burst into one where a girl was noticeably knocked down in a corner.

“Cathrine!” the girl immediately crouched down on her cousin. “Cathrine, can you hear me?”

“All of you, get out” Ivar demanded the girls who were inside. Some tried to complain, after all he was the guy in a female bathroom. These same girls that had paid no attention, or they just didn’t care, to the other girl on the floor. He then went outside as fast as he could and got a water bottle.

“She’s awake, but barely. Says she 's dizzy. She’s not talking right”

“She was likely drugged” It wouldn’t be a first in that club “Make her sip some water” he threw the water bottle at them. He really wanted to level down to them, but with his crutches and all it just wouldn’t go well. “I’m gonna find help.”

He ‘raced’ to the VIP area. Only Hivtserk was there with a girl on top of him. What was wrong with his brothers for acting as if their corner was a place of public foreplay display?

“Hvitserk, I need your help!”

“Go away Ivar” he grumbled and continued to suggestively run his hands on the brunette over his lap.

Ivar had to take the matter into his hands. The first thing he found was a leftover cocktail on the table which he threw at the girl. Her immediate squeak was so high and audible despite the deafening music. She practically jumped from on top of his brother.

“You crazy motherfucker!”

“What the fuck Ivar?”

“I don’t have time to explain. Come with me. I need your help.”

Usually he didn't have much faith in his brothers - after all they were a pain in his ass most of the time - but this time he was really hoping to call on Hvitserk’s good senses. Fortunately his prayers were answered and his older brother followed him back to the bathroom

“What’s going on?”

“There’s a passed out girl. We need to get her out of here.”

“Would you go so far as in to get laid, little brother? Oh, you sicko”

“This is not the time for jokes, asshole. You’re the sicko for even suggesting that”

Ivar was almost regretting getting Hvitserk to help, but the truth was that he alone wouldn’t be able to carry the girl out from the bathroom. The moment they got in there Hvitserk got a bit more serious and kneeled next to the two girls.

“Let’s get her out of here”

Together with Hvitserk, the girl helped raise her semi-unconscious cousin. People inside the club were so fucked up that they didn’t drop one second to look at them leaving.

“Take her to my car” Ivar indicated and so they did. He unlocked his metallic grey SUV from afar and went on to open the backdoors where they laid the girl. “Let her get some fresh hair. It will do her good.”

“Should we take her to the hospital?” Hvitserk suggested.

A loud “No!” came from the inside of the car.

“She can’t. It will be too complicated” said the other girl but not without hinting her dissatisfaction.

Ivar finally took a moment to fully look at her. Dressed in just a pair of jeans and a warm sweatshirt, she was lean and tall, but at least a good ten centimeters shorter than himself. Her blonde hair was tied in a messy bun with some strands falling down on her face. He had to hold the instinct to gently brush those aside. And her eyes… They were a very greyish blue color like he had never seen before. They were mirroring worry and nervousness.

“I’m calling a cab. Thank you for your help. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for you” she said facing Ivar and Ivar only.

“I can drive you.” he offered without thinking.

“We already bothered you enough -”

Ivar cut her off “Nonsense. I’m going to drive you” he declares in a way that offered no other option.

Relief poured from her gaze “Thank you”

It was quite the drive, further out of Bergen’s city center. By the time they got there the passed out girl - Cathrine - had regained consciousness, albeit feeling nauseous and dizzy. Hvitserk carried her alone in his arms to the inside of the house and further into her bed. It was time enough for her to fall asleep like a rock.

“She seems just to need some rest. Keep her hydrated when she wakes up.”

“If she was drugged then it should wear off her system soon”

“Noted. I don’t know how to thank you both”

“You could go on a date with one of us, how does that sound?”

“Hvitserk!” Ivar admonished in reaction to the girl’s shocked expression “Please, ignore my brother. He, too, has drugs that need to wear off his system”

“You’re no fun, Ivar” Hvitserk couldn’t argue back on the drugs part. “A pleasure to help, milady. Until next time” He did a silly bow and left the apartment back to the car.

“Is he always like that?”

“Most of the time, yeah.” Ivar shrugged his shoulders “Hand me your phone” Because she did without complaining, he got it and put his number in there “I’m Ivar Lothbrook. Whenever you need help.”

What he really wanted to say was ‘text me’. He didn’t have the nerve for that, tho.

For the first time that night she finally showed a glimpse of a smile “Honestly, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help, Ivar Lothbrok”

Her hand was touching his and for a moment everything seemed to stop. The way his name sounded on her lips… A shiver went down his spine. He wanted to hear it again, but most importantly he wanted to know her name.

But in that exact moment a horn yelled. Goddamned Hvitserk. He was going to wake up the whole street, which was the opposite of what the girls had asked. “I better go drive him home now or else he’ll wake up the whole neighborhood”

Yet Ivar was finding it difficult to leave. To leave her. Another honk made him take the necessary steps.

“I mean it when I say for you to use my number whenever. Stay safe”

He finally closed the door behind him and walked back to the car, but not before looking over his shoulder. There she was, by the window, waving goodbye with a shy smile on her face.

He needed to see her again.

The next morning Ivar woke up rather hopeful of seeing a text message. Seeing there was none, his day didn’t kick off exactly on the right terms. Throughout the day he checked his phone more times than he cared to admit and each time he grew impatient and irritated. What was it about that girl to make him like this? It’s not like he usually gave a crap about whoever he met.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve got a right cob-on” his older brother Ubbe asked later that day when they were all chilling by the firepit in the backyard of the Lothbrook’s home.

Although in Norway it was uncommon for people their age to still be living at home, in their case that’s how things were and worked out great most days. Usually it was just the four brothers and the house was big enough for them not to be in each other’s ways.. Their mother, Aslaug Lothbrok, ran one the country’s finest art galleries. After her husband’s arrest she had moved her gallery to the capital city, Oslo, instead of their home city. Lately she spent most of her time there rather than at home.

“It’s nothing. Leave me alone”

“He’s hung up” teased Hvitserk “Still thinking about the pretty blondie from last night, brother?”

Right that moment Ivar wished he could smack the mocking smiles out of his brother’s faces.

“Well, well, well Ivar. Didn’t know you had company last night.”

“He didn’t. Not exactly. None of us did” Hvitserk proceed to put Ubbe on the loop in regards to their little episode last night. “Instead of asking her for her number, our little brother gave her his. Wrong move, dude.” Ivar immediately regretted telling this to Hvitserk. “Don’t be so bummed out, Ivar. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Speaking of…”

A blonde Ivar doesn’t care much about exits their home in Sigurd’s company, both appearing content which can only mean one thing. Margrethe is a constant guest at the Lothbrok’s and probably the only female with the fame of being acquainted with all of the brothers’ rooms. Although a favorite among the Ragnarssons, to Ivar she’s nothing but an unpleasant company he is forced to tolerate after they fall out months ago.

“If that’s the fish you’re hinting at, I’d rather go vegan” Ivar mumbled under his breath.

I hope you liked it! It’s my first Vikings fic :) Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language. At least five more chapters will be on the way.

#knocked-up-fic #vikings fic #vikings fanfiction #vikings fanfic #modern vikings #modern vikings au #modern ivar #modern ivar au #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar x oc #ivar x original female character #ivar ragnarsson #ragnarssons #my fiction #ivar lothbrok #knocked up fic

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e-b-reads · 2 years

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Some things about Memoirs of a Geisha

I read this because a (real-life, not tumblr) friend gave it to me when he was done, and said I should. The thing about this book is, it’s not bad. I can even see that it could be intriguing and gripping, in a way. I think I was not as intrigued or gripped as I could have been because I had in the back of my mind the whole time that it was written by a white man.

I’m not saying that Arthur Golden didn’t have good sources, or do good research. It just felt weird, as an also white person who was raised as a woman, to read about a very woman-centric space and lifestyle--the men are entirely side characters, they’re (realistically, I imagine) distant, larger-than-life, and/or means to an end--and know that, actually, a man wrote it. There was this veneer of potential inauthenticity between me and the story the whole time.

I also had some (still nebulous) thoughts about the ending, so spoilers below.

OK, so I didn’t mind the ending (Sayuri ending up with her Chairman). I had definitely expected a more depressing end to her geisha days. At first I wondered if maybe it was a little too unrealistic for her to be happy and to (basically) get her guy (he does still have a wife); but then I thought that hey, the whole thing is a story. Also I started to wonder/worry if I had expected a sad ending as a sort of prudish Western judgment to show why a geisha lifestyle is wrong or unsustainable (and while I won’t speak to sustainability, I wouldn’t want to call any lifestyle wrong, especially not as an absolute like that). So what if she gets a sort of happy ever after?

Except I did realize one issue I had with it, which is this: the Chairman was pretty much the only consistent male protagonist who apparently didn’t start out wanting to sleep with a fourteen-year-old. There are certainly cultural differences I’m missing, but I respected him as a character because he seemed to see Sayuri as something more like the still-learning girl she was, rather than a sexual object. (Other men may have seen more than that, but they also wanted to sleep with her.) If he’d just admitted his attraction to her after the war, when she was in her late twenties or her thirties, that would be one thing; but the fact that he also remembered her from her childhood, and had apparently mostly hung back for his friend’s sake, not because he didn’t want to sleep with a fourteen year old, made me lose some respect for him. So I think in the end, my problem with the ending wasn’t anything to do with the writing of it, but the way it made me see the characters differently.

#some things about:#memoirs of a geisha #arthur golden #things about a historical novel #not sorry i read it #but not planning to reread

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plottwiststudios · 3 years

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So. Incredibly. Tired.

Frank Mental Health Post: Please skip if you need to tend to your own! \o/

Many of you noticed that I am using Women of Xal’s Early Access to weigh in how much extra content I should cut to finish production once and for all. If you’ve played the game, you’ve seen how borderline overwhelming the amount of options there are already. The Kickstarter has NOTHING on the sheer scope of the full game.

Xuna’s mansion becoming a pretty castle in the sky was perhaps the most fitting bit of real-life foreshadowing I have ever done in my life. Period.

The Kickstarter made its goal of $10k. If I had stuck to the Bare Necessities and focused squarely on the narrative experience and budget over anything else, the costs would never have reached an additional $40k of my own money. If I didn’t absolutely loathe the thought of having a project like this, helmed by me, being a completely linear experience, this project could have been out years earlier. If I had put a bit more restraint on my ambitious side, maybe I wouldn’t have lost so many connections. But maybes and what ifs are for fleeting reflections and bettering oneself. Not for a mental health status. However, it does perfectly lead to this project, me, and you.

The fact of the matter is, I absolutely did put my all into this production, fought through otherwise debilitating depression to write “just a bit” more, worked retail at crazy hours and maddening weather to afford stuff that may or may not show in the final build, ignored my health to further my ambition if cash wasn’t specifically given to me to tend to it, ect. The fact is, it happened, and I sustained this mindset ever since the Kickstarter concluded. And I’m so incredibly tired of putting so much into the same project.

That’s why this particular month is what will dictate the future and end of this journey. If Early Access goes well both critically and financially, we charge full speed with several of the extra content in mind (and not just potential future DLC). If the universe wills to test me further, we charge full speed to hit the middle: Far more than what the Kickstarter promised, but far less than what I personally wanted.

Long story concluded? I’m so incredibly tired. I’m sure my staff are tired too. I want to enjoy other things again, spend more time with friends, maybe explore the polyamorous lifestyle I always could but never seriously did, start new projects again - oh good Dhaj new projects, make that gay OnlyFans page, make a sequel to my musicals and Personatale! (Persona x Undertale mashup)

The fact I haven’t been, the fact that no semi-large/ large project has been started or finished since Women of Xal, the loss of money, health, friends, and almost some of my patient and loving family; the fact that I don’t know what an anxiety/panic attack or a mental breakdown feels like, but probably the closest to reaching one than I ever have in my life? Yeah, enough is enough.

The month of August 2021 will prove if this was all financially worth it. If it wasn’t, it’s not your fault, readers. It will never be. The fault 100% lies with me. I am 200% aware of that. You have all done wonderfully and have treated me even more so. I can’t thank you all enough. The onus of success falls on me and those who willingly jump on this ship to share the responsibility with me. You just all deserve to hear why I may not be able to bring you the cool little extras, you know?

Thanks for reading,

Johnathan Johnson

#Long post #Johnrants #Early Access #Steam #Women of Xal #Steam sales are alright #So don't worry about this post being born out of financial woes #I just need to be honest and say why some of the extra features may not make it #I'll apologize over the loss of cool extra features but never for FINALLY prioritizing my mental health over this project #The gay onlyfans thing was a bit of a joke #UNLESS!#loljk #Or am-

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thewhiteroseofvermilion · 3 years

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Moving Forward

Hello everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve last spoken to you all, and an even longer time since I’ve last updated this story. Over the months and years, my absence has saddened, frustrated, and even angered many of you. Despite my own valid feelings of how—to put it bluntly—I don’t owe any of you anything as this is something I do for free and in my own free time, I still recognize how it must feel for you all to see something you enjoy so much slowly lose momentum and eventually grind to a halt. Furthermore, my habit of making enthusiastic yet empty statements in between didn’t help either.

As such, a proper and honest explanation is due, as anything less would be unkind. This will be lengthy, but please bear with me.

For the past four years, it’s been increasingly difficult to find the time, energy, and motivation for me to properly sit down and write. Seemingly gone are the early days of this story’s life when I was able to publish a new chapter every month or so, or even every two weeks when I was at the top of my game in terms of activeness. Even though I had an immense workload due to being a double major in college, leading me to adopt the best work ethic I’ve ever had, I still led a sheltered lifestyle where I didn’t have to worry about the many looming, inevitable adult responsibilities that were ahead of me.

Those tranquil years of course came to an end when I graduated, and I soon felt immense pressure to shift my attention to finding work, living independently, and working on things that would further my career. While I received support as an aspiring writer from the majority of my family, those being my mother and sister, the both of them commented more frequently as time passed by that my “fanfiction” wasn’t something that I should be spending so much time on anymore. After all, it’s not like I could sell the work as my own, and the fact that despite fanfiction absolutely being a valid artform, it wasn’t something that the world of professional employers cared about.

Nonetheless, when I did eventually find work as a film freelancer, I still tried to persevere and write on the side. My goal back then was to work in film in order to sustain my pursuit in writing. Film was something I went to school for, greatly enjoyed, and even saw a possible future career for myself in, but it was the writing aspect of it that I was truly after, that being primarily screenwriting.

After two years of living at home, I felt the need to try and live independently as I outgrew my tiny room and my mom started dating a man that I didn’t particularly like. I knew it wasn’t financially smart of me to do so when my mom allowed me to live with her rent-free. But at the time I thought that it would help me to become more mature and productive, as I would have to force myself to work in order to put a roof over my head and food on the table—as opposed to living a sheltered life at home where everything was taken care of for me. Essentially, I was longing for the lifestyle I had in college, thinking that once I returned to it, I would be able to reacquire that once incredible work ethic I had.

So, I became roommates with a friend from college and together we rented a townhouse together. Rent wasn’t terribly expensive, but it wasn’t cheap either. Regardless, I was able to make ends meet. My greatest challenge however, was to live up to my family’s spoken and unspoken expectations. On one hand, my mother was sweet and understanding, naturally giving me her full support. My father, on the other, always thought that it’d be better for me to pursue something safer and more lucrative, and to not risk being a starving artist. But the one I had to prove myself the most to was my older sister, who was wildly more successful than I was—financially and professionally. My pay compared to hers was like a drop in a bucket, and I felt both indirect and direct pressure from her to be more “professional” like her. Therefore, I threw myself into my work, which is when things slowly began to go downhill.

As a film freelancer, my work hours usually averaged between 10-12 hours a day, and with my work taking me all over my home state of Maryland and even into neighboring Washington DC and Virginia, my commute time to and from work ranged anywhere from an additional 1-3 hours. It became incredibly common for me to wake up for work anywhere between 3-6 AM and not get home until 8-10 PM.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I slowly slipped into a routine where when I did have the “time” to write, I had zero energy or motivation as my work was so taxing. I reached the point where I had to drink two energy drinks with 300mg of caffeine to get myself to and from work. I saw less and less of my roommate and friends. I spent an alarming amount of money and gained weight from ordering take-out so often because I hadn’t the energy to cook for myself when I got home late from work. There would even be days when I fell into what felt like comas, sleeping up to two days straight at one point. My physical, mental, and emotional health was in serious decline. And yet I didn’t see it that way, as I had become obsessed with trying to prove to my family, my sister in particular, that I wasn’t a failure and that my pursuit of writing wasn’t a hopeless one.

During the first month of COVID-19′s outbreak last year, I finally had a much-needed vacation. This was undoubtedly the best time for me to have returned to writing—but I didn’t. At this point, so much time had passed since my last proper writing session that the few times I did try to write, I found myself completely unable to write anything. I was so out of practice and so out of touch with what I had written. This honestly frightened me, and I soon began to doubt if I could ever be able continue the story with the same quality that so many readers fell in love with. Regrettably, I fled from this revelation long enough for a full month to pass by, and I soon found myself busy with yet another distraction: unemployment.

I was out of work for about 4.5 months, from the middle of March to the beginning of August. During this time, I had to rely on state unemployment, which earned me great scorn from my older sister. Our relationship had always been uneven since we were kids, but it was becoming increasingly toxic as of late since our college years. I felt so ashamed to tell her how much money I made in a year from my job as a film freelancer, and how I barely managed to move to a better position after four years of work. Riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself, when work became readily available again in August, I frantically threw myself back in harder than ever before. In the past where I had turned down the occasional job to give myself some time to relax or in order to make it to a social outing with friends, I now accepted every job thrown my way, only declining those that would make me double-book myself. I earned a lot of money during those months as a result, and I was so happy to finally distance myself from the stigma of being “unemployed.” However, I once again failed to see that I was yet again sliding back into the lifestyle that had been slowly poisoning me for the past two years.

After essentially working non-stop from August to March, my body, mind, and soul soon returned right back to the brink of collapse. It wasn’t until then at my lowest point when I finally realized how I initially went from working to sustain myself in order to write, to not writing at all and only working to sustain myself to work even more. It was truly scary to see myself fall victim to a brutal cycle of unfulfilling work that could have trapped me for years to come if I hadn’t broken free first. That’s when I realized that my lifestyle was personally unsustainable, and that something had to change.

Henceforth, I’ve made the difficult decisions to both transition out of film freelancing and to soon return home to live with my father. At the end of April, the homeowner of the townhouse my roommate and I had been living in for close to three years gave us our 30-days-notice to vacate, as they no longer wished to rent but to sell the property. As my roommate had been planning on finding a place of his own with his girlfriend for quite some time, we split amicably at the end of last month in May and I’ve since moved into a temporary apartment with a friend who has traveled back to Maryland for seasonal work.

Regarding the change in my career, I’ve been looking into applying for writing positions for something that I’ve grown to enjoy over the past few years, which is to write reviews for media such as film, anime, and videogames. This of course is not what I truly want to do in life, but I think that because it actually involves writing, it would be both good practice in terms of practicing my writing and experience in terms of resume-building. Furthermore, a stable “9-5″ job as such would be good for me, I think, as it would introduce some desperately needed structure back into my life. Being a freelancer was definitely fun as I had the power to choose my own schedule, but it unfortunately fostered a lot of laziness and procrastination when I wasn’t completely burnt out.

I’ve shared with you all this information, a great deal of it being very personal, in the hopes that it helps you better understand who I am as a person and what I’ve been going through these past four years.

I understand that my word may be difficult to trust due to my history, but I sincerely wish to let you all know from the bottom of my heart that I do plan on continuing writing The White Rose of Vermilion until it’s completed. My fears and insecurities may have alienated me from that promise, but not once did I ever entertain the idea of fully dropping the story. And I promise you, I never will. It most likely will not further my career in any way, bring any revenue in, and will continue to consume a great deal of my precious free time—yet I still choose to pursue continuing it because I can’t see a future where I don’t finish it.

It is after all my most cherished project; the reason that I was able to truly find my calling as an aspiring writer, its success also ultimately being the proof to my mother that I had some skill as a budding writer, who then gave me her full blessings to pursue it as a career. But most important of all is that it’s the reason why I was able to experience first-hand one of the most important and beautiful discoveries in my entire life. That being the incredible phenomenon of how art is like a beacon—its bright light is powerful enough to reach out and inspire others to create art of their own. From Monty Oum to Nancy Phetchareune to myself, I was blessed enough to see readers create wonderful fanart to show me or tell me in a review that reading my story had inspired them to create something of their own.

I am officially leaving behind my prolonged hiatus and returning to working on The White Rose of Vermilion. While I am extremely hesitant to even estimate when the next chapter will be published, please know that I am genuinely trying to leave behind my habits of old and returning to a more consistent schedule.

The White Rose of Vermilion will return in:

Arc II, Chapter Twenty-Seven: Stranger in the Night

#TWRoV #The White Rose of Vermilion

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beckydoesthings · 3 years

Text

I spend far too much time on AO3 to let it all go to waste, so here’s a collection of ABO fics that I thoroughly enjoy. These are all hxl unless specified otherwise. I tried to condense my total list into one post, but I very quickly realized it would be waaaaay too long, so I split it up.

*will continue to update this. also if i mistagged an author, i deeply apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

sleeping on our problems

E | 67k | @falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down. There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared. - Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

this is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ABO fic and i’m genuinely in love with this. i think i cried reading this lol and i’m not ashamed of it. also the smut!

A Distant Hazy Light

E | 198k | @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

this is part one of a three part ABO series that also probably made me cry at some point. chock full of angst and heartbreak with an (eventual) happy ending. also the side ziam is just *chef’s kiss*.

pray for some sweet simplicity

E | 237k | @eeveelou

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

it’s just so beautiful. their relationship development was soooo good and i adored reading this piece. i never thought i could enjoy a motorcycle racing story so much!

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction

T | 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up. ”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

i think i’ve read this like a dozen times and it’s still. so. good. probably the first pirate fic i read and i love it so much! the dynamic between them is awesome to read.

Seeing Blind

E | 46k | @that-idiot-overthere

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

the smut in this fic is absolutely filthy and i love it ;). but watching the two boys be idiots in love made this fic for me.

The Space Between

E | 40k | @alltheselights

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

i wanted to smack harry the entire time i was reading this, but in a cool way obviously. it’s quite fluffy but it’s got enough angst to make it suspenseful.

Face Your Fears

E | 92k | @sadaveniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

this fic is a rollercoaster of emotions from beginning to end and it’s amazing to read. i’m not sure what i love more, the fact that harry’s a baker or half the plot being based around wikipedia being false.

The Compulsion to Find Love

E | 140k | @toomanydreamers

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

it is quite a lengthy story but totally worth it. i adore louis’ fierce determination in this!

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

E | 43k

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

personal favorite because i have a soft spot for nesting. but i love the relationship between the two and it’s. so. fluffy i could melt.

lemon eyes

E | 50k

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

ah yes a fic where Louis is an alpha and both are versatile?? wack. anyways, the smut in this is awesome and harry’s an idiot. what’s new?? (jkjk)

A Taste of Desire

E | 104k | @casuallyhl

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

one of my favorite historical AUs! i love how strong and opinionated Louis is and how Harry comes round to follow.

Canyon Moon

E | 40k | @eeveelou

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

disney AUs are the shit! i’ve got a small love for werewolf fics and this is one of my favorites. love how this takes the story of lion king for a spin.

Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds

M | 38k | @2tiedships2

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

i love how just sappy and sweet this is, like there are just hearts pouring out of my eyes as i read this. also broadway!

*updated 2/15/21*

#fic recs #ao3 #in no particular order #abo fics #hl

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wangxiandecoded · 4 years

Text

Episode 4 (& Wangxian Meta)

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

Cultivation Partner

Episode 4 opens with shots of the Lan clan’s rule books that drowned Wei Ying the night before. As explained in this amazing observation by a fan, the only rule that is visible in the shot is the one which states a Lan clan member should not take off their forehead ribbon unless in front of their parents or cultivation partner, despite the show using the word “wife”. This is a strikingly gender neutral change for a show that is going above and beyond to establish that the heroes are in love without being allowed to do so explicitly.

Wei Ying is Whipped, Lan Zhan is An Ice Prince

Wei Ying is like a puppy in constant need of love and affection from Lan Zhan, isn't he? It is so important to him that Lan Zhan forgive him, befriend him, laugh with him, spend time with him. Oh Lan Zhan, if only you would look past who you are supposed To Be and admit how cute he is.

There are only two people who can make Wei Ying wear this "guilty 5-year-old who stole the candy he wasn't supposed to touch" expression, and that's Lan Zhan and his Shijie.

Wei Ying earned my respect with the number of times he tried to get the attention of his crush in the initial episodes. A true inspiration!

Look how excited he is to see Lan Zhan! And look how gorgeously framed they are to once again remind us they are soulmates in life and the battlefield.

Lan Qiren and Wei Ying’s Disagreement Is The First Seed of his Downfall

Wei Ying angers Lan Qiren in this scene by suggesting they harness resentful energy the same way they use spiritual energy to his hypothetical question, when such a thing is unheard of, unnatural and contemptible in the cultivation world. He gets kicked out of the lecture for his answer, foreshadowing his fall from grace.

The interactions between Wei Ying and Lan Qiren are always strained, and understandably so. He is no stranger to the grim consequences of demonic cultivation after having raised two kids who were caught in its crossfire. Lan Qiren follows the traditions he values above all else down to a T. Wei Ying's method, be it now or when he actually starts practising demonic cultivation, is something that strikes him as being almost perverse. But are him and the other cultivators right in classifying Wei Ying as corrupt for going down that road? Wei Ying simply considered a logical but forbidden path people have not dared to think about. His ideas are out of the box and definitely not the orthodox thing to do but should he be labelled a villain for it? The cultivation world and Wei Ying just have two vastly different approaches to the same problem. The line of thought separating a genius and megalomaniac is pretty thin after all, and Wei Ying's heart has never been guided by anything but pure intentions and an unwillingness to sit back in the face of injustice.

But Lan Qiren's generation and all of the cultivation world would not understand that. And what they do not understand, they fear. The order of their world is sustained only by the stratification of black and white. This is indisputable and there is no other variable to it. Heck, it even takes Lan Zhan a long time to accept it is Wei Ying who is right and the rest of the world that is wrong.

Lan Qiren represents the ancient "natural" order of the world and Wei Ying's disrespect for what reveals itself to be a suffocating system leads to the new, better, inclusive order with revised perceptions of right and wrong that Wangxian end up creating. Even if this new world comes with a great cost. The story leaves us with the questions, who is right and who is wrong, after all? Who are we to dictate that and set them in stone?

(On a less serious note, I don't know if it's because I've seen this trope in many Asian dramas, but I found it funny how Lan Qiren is questioning Wei Ying simply for the purpose of belittling him by finding a blind spot in his intelligence. Even though Wei Ying is easily the smartest guy in the room, whose heart of gold and morally grey choices paint him as a villain. It gave me "mother-in-law who despises the woman who's going to marry into their family" vibes. Lol!)

Is The Untamed A Tale of Righteousness Or A Queer Romance? Both, Always Both

Somewhere in this war that will happen between Wei Ying and the rest of the cultivation world, between what can be considered right and wrong, honor and disgrace, the natural and unnatural ways of life (which are all codified into an absolute, immovable binary), there is a metaphor for being different in a world that is hell bent on excluding you for being thus. And you know what Wei Ying’s whole journey reminds me of? Of our heroes being queer. If you haven’t thought about it, the parallels do exist in the story, becoming obvious when Lan Qiren punishes Lan Zhan for questioning the fallacy in the same rules that made him lose his lover, and culminating with Lan Zhan irrevocably taking Wei Ying’s side in episode 42. He chooses to be on the “wrong” side with Wei Ying, orthodoxy be damned. (I’d hate to be Lan Zhan's uncle who is implied to be homophobic and ends up having a son-in-law.)

It might be early in the story to bring this up but The Untamed is at its crux, a story about two different guys who come together for the same cause and fall in love on the path of justice, while struggling to safeguard the definition of morality they know in their hearts to be true. Their soulmateship is woven inextricably with living with a clean conscience and doing the right thing even when the world tells them they are grossly incorrect. (Eat that, Romeo’s and Juliet’s! What life-or-death challenges did straight romance ever face?) That’s how Wangxian’s upright lifestyle (which only they know to be just and others frown down upon) doubles as a metaphor for their relationship. Some people support it, some don’t, some even deplore and oppose them for it because they think they are committing a crime. Doesn’t change the fact that we, the audience, can see that they are right (and that they’re in love). In fact, it is precisely because they chose the single log bridge together (because they fell in love) that led to balance being restored in their morally corrupt world.

It’s the many little things like this about our two heroes that make the world of The Untamed undergo a transformation for the better. We don’t talk enough about the fact that Wangxian together overthrow ancient, draconian laws that decreed what is black and white, by swearing an oath to protect the powerless together but also by swearing an unspoken vow to be together forever. And one can hope, especially if you’re a queer person who fell in love with this story, that the world and most of Asia will see the light about the LGBTQ+ people one day, like the other characters realized Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were not criminals but the best of human beings who simply lived life the only way they knew as being honest with themselves and true to their hearts. They need not spend their lives on the lonely bridge of darkness, and deserve a wider path of acceptance built by and shared with the rest of the world, one that shines under the broad daylight, because they have always, always been in the right. Like Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have been. It’s that everyone else is slow to catch up with them.

It Is Doubly Hard For Lan Zhan To Do The Right Thing

Lan Zhan in this scene recites the rules he has learnt verbatim and his uncle beams. It is clear he takes pride in Wangji being his prized student and the perfect example of who a duty-bound clan member should be. The person Lan Zhan used to be makes it that much harder for him to rebel against his own uncle later. I cannot imagine the courage it took him to unlearn the principles he had centered his life around after they turned regressive, and acknowledge that they did more harm than good by viewing an expanding universe through an achingly narrow vision.

Wei Ying was born free-spirited and defiant so his choices are not totally unexpected. But Lan Zhan's choices make him lose his reputation as the unwavering bearer of light, along with the respect of his uncle who had placed him on a pedestal and vice versa. Once again drawing the comparison that turning his back on the world and ensuring his conscience was clean is the same as siding with Wei Ying, the man who he loves and was wrongfully denounced by everyone.

In summary, Episode 4 shows us the polarity between our heroes and the lives they lead. And after all, it is the most basic rule in the book that opposites make the perfect formula for a romance.

What Gay Messages Is The Show Sending?

In the new world order Wangxian write by themselves when no one else can, for Lan Zhan to choose Wei Ying means to choose an honorable life, and to choose Wei Ying also means to choose love. Their love for each other is the last standing untarnished virtue in the contaminated world that is already unravelling when Lan Zhan declares his love for Wei Ying in public and the first virtue in this new world that came into existence all the way back when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying launched the lantern together, deciding to stick together and be the voice that speaks out for the voiceless. It is Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s love for each other that redeems the sorrows of the past, and paves the way for a greener future in their world. Their love story is undoubtedly the most extraordinary part of The Untamed and we are privileged to have seen it in our lifetime.

It is groundbreaking, if this metaphor for their gay love story was at all intended in any way. Even if it wasn’t, Wangxian are the queer heroes that have been sorely missing from our history. Their story propagates that people like Wangxian are liberated only when we realize we have to foster and feed the very thing that makes us different. The odds are we are the only ones capable of knowing that we are right, even if everyone else condemns and invalidates something as vital as our existence. For the sake of our clean conscience, we go on living life the way we see fit because that’s what living an honest and honorable life entails. That’s what Lan Zhan and Wei Ying would want us to do. We are all ridiculously ahead of a time that is running to keep up with us. So..

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kookiebunnii · 4 years

Text

d4u || no such thing as free coffee

dec. 2018. i’ve been working as a barista now for a few months, and i actually quite like my job. jungkook likes to visit every once in a while to bother me while i work. he came in this morning too.

pairing: best friend!jungkook x reader

genre: slice of life, humor

word count: 1.1k

warnings: n/a

You never thought that coffee could be your saving grace in so many ways. Ever since you started university, caffeine became a reliable way to feel awake in the mornings. The campus coffee shop was also well-known for its affordable prices for students, easily fostering your growing reliance on it. Right when you decided to take a bit of a caffeine cleanse for the sake of your mental and physical health, your credit card bills decided to bring out a fresh batch of nightmares for your enjoyment. Given the price of rent in a popular college town, the fact that you had a hard time refraining from purchasing random knick-knacks, and the expensive textbooks your professors demanded for courses…you really shouldn’t have expected your bank account to stay above water. Coincidentally, or perhaps all according to the nefarious plans of the coffee bean, the coffee shop at your school was hiring at this exact time. The location made it convenient for you to head to classes right after, the pay and accompanying tips could definitely more than ease the weight on your credit card, and baristas had access to all drinks and pastries on their shifts. What’s not to love?

Early mornings signaled the start of rush hour, as cold weather plus a half-awake student made hot coffee the answer to a simple problem. As you push through the door, a familiar tinkle sounds and your co-worker turns to look towards you. You give her a small shy smile, still feeling a little awkward at your new job.

“Y/N!” Luce waves you over excitedly as soon as her customer grabs their drink and trudges out the door.

“You’re working this shift too?” you ask as you head to the back to drop off your backpack and find your apron. The simple navy blue design with your name stitched in golden thread was definitely another bonus of working at Deja Brew. As you begin tying the straps behind your back, Luce rushes in behind you with a skip in her step.

“You bet,” she winks, “Let me know if you have any questions at all! I know you’ve been here for a few weeks but…remembering all the recipes can be a bit tough.”

After promising her you’d do so, you look at your wrists for a hair tie, to which your ever-observant coworker hands you one of her own without a word. You give her a grateful smile before following her outside to meet the incoming throng of zombies demanding caffeine.

The last hour passed like a blur before your eyes with you deadly focused on remembering the number of shots each drink required and whether espresso or milk came first. Luce was definitely the most helpful shift lead you’ve worked with so far, and you were grateful for her patience and uncanny way of assisting at the exact moments you were starting to grow anxious. You always took things seriously, especially when you knew it reflected poorly on yourself and others by association when you slipped up. You’ve learned that an angry customer was not a fun one, so you did your best to pay absolute attention to details lest you wanted to feel like jumping off the face of the Earth.

Speaking of mistakes causing you to jump off the face of the Earth, you withheld the sigh that threatened to escape you when you heard a familiar voice call your name out from the entrance of the café. Wiping down the ceramic mug in your hands, you stopped to admire the pretty Evergreen trees painted on it while Jungkook bounded over to the register with a backpack slung haphazardly across his shoulder.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing your face at 8 AM in the morning?” you tease, turning to set the mug back on its place on the shelf.

He grins widely, before leaning in as if he wanted to tell you a secret. Instead, you crossed your arms in front of you with an unamused look on your face. It was way too early for any of his antics, and if he barged into your workplace to tell you what rank he was in Overwatch now after grinding all of last night, you’re pretty sure you’d fireman carry his ass outside the premises immediately. Try to, at least.

“Can her majesty bless her fool with banana bread on this fine winter morning?” his brown eyes widen with hope as he continues with a cheeky smile, “There is a possibility that I may have overslept and didn’t have time to make breakfast.”

As great as Deja Brew’s banana bread was, you knew that it was on the pricey end of breakfast pastries. Given the fact that Jungkook refused to get a part-time job and relied exclusively on donations from his 25 Twitch followers to sustain his lifestyle, better judgement told you that he should probably save the $4.50 on the next pack of Jin ramen he’s buying this weekend.

Extending your hand, you give him an expectant look which he matches with a dumbfounded one of his own.

“Trying to hold my hand or something?”

“No, you single-celled organism. Give me your card,” you state back at his teasing question. He seems to briefly consider all the unicellular organisms of the world you just insulted before shoving his hand into his pocket to search for his wallet.

Once his ragged card is in your hands (surely this thing has seen better days), you make a show of pressing random things on the cash register monitor. Afterwards, you slide his card just outside of the chip reader’s sensor for a few seconds before slipping the card into the chest pocket of his t-shirt. As you pull the right side of his jacket closer to the center of his chest-- he never did worry about catching a cold in mid-December did he, you happen a glance into his eyes to find him looking at you with amusement.

As the thickest piece of chocolate chip banana bread spins around in the café microwave, you pull out some skim milk from the fridge and steam it for a bit with the espresso machine. Jungkook never really enjoyed coffee, instead getting hyped for banana milk and other drinks most children averaging 7 years of age would enjoy. The milk pitcher grew warm to the touch in a matter of seconds, to which you pulled out a small to-go coffee cup so he could carry the beverage to class with him.

“Here”, you hand him the warm banana bread and milk after affixing a lid to the top of the cup, “I warmed up some milk for you as well since you’re the biggest baby I’ve ever met.”

“Did you just call me baby?”

“Please perish.”

He laughs before loudly announcing to every human being in the vicinity, “Thanks sugar momma.”

Dashing out of the building with his long legs and a half-hearted wave, Jungkook leaves you with a room full of giggling whispers and wide-eyed stares.

You make a mental reminder to start a campfire tonight and use the pages of his weeb comics as fuel.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

masterlist || next >>

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