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caesium-55 · 2 months

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—seven days. [ ii ]

pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.

summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.

author's note: not beta-read. not edited. here's part 2 folks. part 3 is on the works now. did i write this fic instead of studying for my important quiz tomorrow? yes, yes i did. pls pray for my score.

masterlist.

For Christmas in 2019, Max has gotten you an apartment near his in Monaco. It is a loft apartment good for one on the 8th floor, a building away from where Daniel and Max lived. Originally, he wants to get you the unit a floor below his. You decline quickly, insisting that you are very fine with rooming with Julia and Kendall, who are both members of the Red Bull PR team whom you have gotten close with since your first year working with Red Bull. Max may have beef with the PR team for making him do a lot of embarrassing shit for the views but you're besties with most of them and actually thank them for making Max suffer through PR stuff because you cannot afford therapy and watching Max suffer through PR-related activities is a good form of free therapy. Also, Monaco apartments are fucking expensive. Red Bull might be paying you well but not well enough to afford an apartment in a country as expensive as Monaco.

“I want you close,” he tells you. If you did not know any better, you'd have butterflies fluttering in your intestines right about that moment. Sometimes, Max utter the most heart-fluttering of nonsense without meaning to. It causes your heart to stutter more times than you would like to admit.

“Well, I don't want you close.”

Max will never ever win an argument with you. He knows that. You know that. The best he can do is come to a compromise, a compromise that is usually tailored to suit whatever you want.

So you got that small loft apartment a building away, good for one person only. It's easy to clean and it's cheap, Max already said that, which makes you happy because you can set a payment plan for that. An apartment as a Christmas gift is already too much, borderline giving you a heart attack already. Rich people spending their money give you, a person of the middle class folks, heart attacks. Why can't Max be normal and give you a normal gift? A bracelet? A bag? You’ll even accept it if he gave you a slice of cheesecake. Not even your parents can buy you an apartment.

It has only been three years since the keys are passed on to your ownership and people say three years is enough time for a person to make a place home. But your apartment doesn't even feel like home, only a place you’ll sleep in if you happen to be in Monaco for the evening.

Home is that humble, two-storey house painted in red and yellow in Lynnwood Avenue, Vista Del Pueblo, Austin, a total picture of a picket fence dream. Home is Abuelo's old farmhouse in El Paso where you spent your childhood riding horses and driving ATVs across the dusty dry earth. Home is the retro milkshake place owned by the sweet old couple that has been in the neighborhood longer than your entire existence. Home is the tree-lined streets where you walked the family senior dog, Niko. Home is the Austin Fire House, your Dad’s workplace that you visited a handful of times back when you were a child to deliver cookies that your Abuela baked so your Dad could share it with his co-workers. Home is your mom’s clinic in the middle of downtown, always smelling like eugenol, disinfectant, formaldehyde, and her perfume. Home is not glitz and gold and glamor and cash cash cash. Home is not seeing wealthy people left and right. Home is not Monaco.

And it is not like you stayed long in your place either. You're always off traveling around the world with the Red Bull team and accompanying Max wherever he needs your presence. You don't even spend your breaks in that apartment because you immediately fly home to your family once a break is graciously given to you before flying off again to watch Max collect trophy after trophy.

Six days from now, you're going to be flying off to Texas. That means you have six days—less than six days actually—to pack all your crayons and go. Of course you're going to pack up the day before you leave. Doing shit last minute makes your life exciting, and it's not like you had a lot of shit to pack anyway. All your belongings can be tucked into a total of three suitcases. Three years worth of belongings in three suitcases.

you: you doin good there?

Max has been holing himself up in his penthouse since your arrival from Abu Dhabi, probably dealing with his breakup with Kelly. A shame, really. You thought the two looked good together. (Do they really? the asshole part of your brain thinks.)

And P. Thank God for that child’s existence. You hate children but P is an exception. P brings the best out of Max. Max has gotten the chance to act as the father he never had. It's heartwarming, to be honest.

him: not really no

him: can you bring me coffee

you: on it champ

Fifteen minutes later, you’re knocking on the gigantic double doors of his penthouse, a tall styro cup of espresso from that cute café two streets down and a slice of blueberry cheesecake because you’re thoughtful enough to buy him his favorite cake. You experienced a breakup before. A cake and an icecream work wonders when it came to healing broken hearts.

“You're fast,” he immediately says after opening the door. You kind of expect that he’d look worse, snotty and messy and looking like he ran from hell and back. But no, he looks……fine? His sweater and shorts look absolutely neat and comfortable and dry of snot. His hair is a little fluffy from lying on his bed but not too messy. He doesn't even look like he was crying. No red-rimmed eyes. No red nose.

You fake gasp, putting a hand on your chest for additional dramatic effect, “The fastest racer in F1 callin’ me fast. Truly honored.”

A smile plays on his lips, sidestepping and beckoning you in.

You frequently come by Max’s home, for work purposes of course, but you still cannot help but be amazed by the enormity of it every time you enter. Max’s penthouse is twenty times bigger than the apartment you currently live in. One man and a big house—it must be very lonely now that P and Kelly are no longer around. Now, you’re even more worried about what will happen the moment you go back to Texas.

Oh… You still haven't told him yet.

“Coffee,” you hand him the warm styro cup to which he accepts gratefully. He utters his thanks, taking a whiff before sipping, letting out a pleasured moan.

You make your way to his gigantic kitchen, navigating your way through his cabinets in search of a plate and a fork. You slide the cheesecake on the plate towards Max, who followed you to the kitchen and sat on the empty stool in the kitchen counter.

“Thank you,” he says, picking up the fork and taking a bite. He glances at your feet, eyes trained on your YSL. The obnoxious sound of the heels clicking against the floor as you walk probably is the one that caught his attention.

“You know, you've been wearing the same shoes since 2019.”

Points for Max for noticing. These YSL Opyum heels are the first luxury items you bought for yourself after saving for three years to buy one pair. You saw a rich international student wear it once back in university and you liked how sophisticated it looked compared to all the pairs of converse or platform boots you owned. So you made it your life’s goal to own one. In 2019, after doing tons of part time jobs in university and working with Red Bull for a whole year, you managed to buy yourself one on your birthday and you’d been wearing them to work ever since.

Your regular work uniform consists of a Red Bull polo shirt, a pencil or a slit skirt, and that specific pair of heels. Around 2021, you bought another pair to replace the old one because the old one broke. And 2022 again.

“What's wrong with ‘em?” you ask, brows furrowing as you followed his train of sight. Your heels might be a year old already but they still look fine.

Max blinks, “No, there's nothing wrong. Just…Do you think you would want to wear some other design?”

“No,” is your reply. “I like ‘em just the way they are.”

“Okay.”

Your conversation drifts into something else as Max finishes his coffee and cake. You spend the rest of the day in Max’s penthouse, lying on his plush couch while a slasher movie from the 2000s played on his wide TV. He has given you access on his Netflix account so you abused it to your heart’s content because you don't even have. a Netflix subscription. You can absolutely afford one, you just choose not to. You have opted in using your phone mid-movie because the movie is beginning to get real scary but you do not want Max to think you're a coward so you acted like you're disinterested instead.

“Oh look, Charles is also back in Monaco. Do you want to hang out together?” you nudge Max with your foot, who swats it away from him, face contorting in disgust. You show him the post on Charles private IG—yes, you were mutuals in each other's private IG because whoever is friends with Max was friends with you by extension—on your phone.

“Stop makin’ that face, my feet are nice.”

Your toenails are a glorious red now. Ferrari red actually and they suit you better than the Red Bull red. Huh, maybe you should have considered applying for Ferrari instead of Renault in 2018.

“No, it isn't.”

You roll your eyes, pulling it away from him and sitting up, “Do you want me to schedule you a dinner with Charles? You might need the bro time, you know? Dad said bro times are also important, but not as important as family time, of course. My bro broke up with his sweetheart back when I was still in uni and his best buds were the reason he was back up in tippy top shape by the end of the week.”

Max stares at you blankly, “I think I understand the words individually but not the sentence entirely. I don't know if it's the accent or you Americans just have a strange way of structuring your sentences.”

“Point is, hang out with a friend because a friend can help you move on from a pussy.”

Max hurls a throw pillow at your direction, which you luckily avoided thanks to your non-racer level but still considerably good reaction time, but unfortunately, this action causes your center of gravity to shift and before you know it, you're falling from the couch. Unconsciously, you grab Max but then Max doesn't expect that you’ll grab him so now, you’re both falling off the couch and onto the floor.

You groan.

“Fuckin’ ass, man. That was uncalled for.”

He flips you off.

Nevertheless, Max ends up following your advice though and calls Charles to hang out the next day. Lestappen fans should be thanking you on Twitter the next day for bringing those two together on an off-day in Monaco. Maybe they'll hang out and eat together in a restaurant? Maybe they'll go on a yacht picnic?

Except Max sends you a message at high noon.

him: sos

you: is your kitchen burning

him: no

him: but this is still an emergency and you need to come quick

him: he’s with his girlfriend and i don’t want to thirdwheel

you: succ it up

him: you can’t do this to me

him: i just got my heart broken in abu dhabi

you: where are you

him: home

him: i also need help in cooking

Charles is the one who answers the door when you knock. He looks genuinely surprised when he sees you and you deduce that Max hasn't told him that you're coming over.

“Babe, who’s that?” you hear Alex’s voice behind Charles and you light up immediately, quickly moving past Charles to throw your hands around the sweet young woman.

“Alex!” Alexandra laughs and hugs you back. The sound of her laughter is as pretty as she and God definitely has favorites because why did he sculpt this twenty-one year old like the daughter of the Aphrodite while you look like you were born from one of Hephaestus’ sperm that lost the gene pool contest? The world is unfair. You always get the short end of the stick, may it be career-wise or appearance-wise, and you can't even bring your personality to the table because normally, without the whole act of professionalism and sophistication you put on, you act like an extroverted American frat boy on a good day and a sassy drag queen slash war freak on a bad day so yeah, you guess that's the short end of the stick, too.

“Seriously?” you look up and saw Max holding a frying pan, staring at you unimpressed. You roll your eyes and slowly pull away from the hug, gaze returning to Alexandra.

“How’ve you been, sweetie? Been a while since I last saw you.”

You didn't get a chance to talk to her in Abu Dhabi and in Las Vegas.

“Good,” she replies, smiling sweetly and ugh, you want to pinch her cheeks so bad. But Charles is pulling you away from Alexandra before you can do so.

“No, no, she is mine, yours is right over there,” Charles says, pointing at Max, who's still standing there in the corner. “Go on. Shoo.”

You roll your eyes before walking up to Max, “‘Sup?”

Max raises a brow at you, “So Charles’ girlfriend gets a hug and I get a sup?”

“Well, she's Alexandra Saint Mleux and you’re just….” you look him up and down. “Nevermind, what you trynna cook?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“I thought you said you were cooking.”

“I said I needed help with cooking.”

Your eyes narrow into slits, “You’re going to let me do the cooking, aren't you?”

“You know that pasta you made in September that you said was your mother’s recipe?”

A sigh escapes your lips as you roll the sleeves of your button-up to your elbows and power-walked your way to the kitchen, the sound of your YSL heels clicking against the floor bouncing against the walls of Max’s kitchen.

Lunch goes great. Charles and Alexandra love your cooking. Max has even asked for seconds. Good to know that he's eating well. Somewhere down the line, champagne is served even though it’s mid-afternoon and the four of you're sitting in Max’s balcony, staring at Monaco scape below. Thankfully, it is a cloudy day in Monaco. The heat of the sun isn't too harsh on the skin. Despite that, you hand Max a sun screen.

“Sorry about Kelly, by the way,” Alexandra says. Your conversation has drifted towards Max’s failed relationship now.

“That is very nice of you to say,” replies Max, smiling slightly. “But I’m okay.”

You give him a look, clearly unconvinced. Admitting vulnerability gives him hives so he's definitely lying.

“You look too okay for a guy who ended a three-year relationship,” Charles muses and his words get you immediately thinking.

Oh? So they’ve been dating that long? You never noticed.

“Even [Name] looked worse when she broke up with that Williams mechanic two years ago and they dated for like what? Barely a year?”

“Unprovoked!” you exclaim. Alex and Max laugh.

But yeah, Charles is right. When you broke up with Leo in 2021, it was not the prettiest sight. He entered Williams mid-2020 as a mechanic and he immediately caught your attention. He's kind and handsome and a very sweet guy. You have similar interests—engineering—and a similar sense of humor and you just….work so well together, you know? You were sure he was your soulmate the moment he cracked up that Physics pickup line and you know it was the same with him. You swore to God that you’d run away from all the British charming assholes but Leo made you eat your own words and gave you a run for your money.

But alas, 2021 season came and Red Bull Racing became busier than ever because Max and Hamilton got crazily competitive and Max demanded your full attention, needing you as a support system to win.

And Leo. Well, he’s busy, too. Engineers are always busy. But he felt neglected because all your attention was on Max. He felt like he was competing with Max for your attention and it shouldn't even be a competition in the first because Leo was the boyfriend and Max was not. And you cannot even deny that you prioritized Max that year. You wanted Max to win. You needed Max to win, so he can finally ask Horner to move you to the engineering team.

Losing Leo is devastating but Max won the WDC title that year and while you spent nearly a month crying over Leo after the breakup, you're hoping that at least, in 2022, you’ll finally get that damned engineering position at the cost of losing your soulmate. That the tears you shed and the broken heart you carried inside your ribs will be worth it if it was in exchange for your dream. Then, it does not happen. The job isn't given to you and you spent the early months of the 2023 season wishing that you have chosen Leo instead of Max Verstappen.

“You’re still friends with him, right?” Charles turns to you.

“Of course,” you say honestly. You're still mutuals on IG and he still hearts your IG stories at times. You still talk, too, on the freer nights where there's a lot of time to waste. “We ended on good terms.”

“How about you, Max?”

“Can we not talk about this please?”

The four of you empty that bottle of champagne and once the sun has begun retiring for the night, Alex and Charles also left. You're soon to follow, fixing your tote bag and going through the mental checklist in your head so you will not forget anything and not waste energy returning here to pick it up.

“You can stay for dinner.”

Max’s offer surprises you.

“No.”

His face drops as quickly as your answer came.

“You're goin’ to let me cook again.”

“No, I’ll cook.”

You give him an unimpressed look. Clearly, you're not convinced.

“I swear, I’ll cook.”

“What if I get poisoned?”

“You won't get poisoned.”

When you continue staring at him, he sighs.

“Just stay please?”

Of course, you stayed. He asked after all.

You keep your eyes on him as he makes dinner with clumsy hands and a bit of unsureness behind his actions.

“You're goin’ to burn it, honey,” you point out.

“What honey? I didn't put any honey in it.”

You blink. He blinks back.

“You’re gonna give me aneurysm one day.”

Shaking your head, you walk into the bathroom at the end of the enormous hallway, lock the door behind you, lean your back against the door, and slowly slides down until your ass meets the cold bathroom floor. You slap a palm against your forehead and purse your lips to stop a scream from erupting.

God fucking dammit, Max is too adorable back there and this is not doing good things for your heart.

#max verstappen x you #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #manager!reader #fluff #formula one #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #f1 fanfic #mv1 #mv1 x reader #mv33 #mv33 x reader

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agroteraa · 3 months

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Actaeon

Oliver Quick x f!Reader

My fic masterlist

Part 1.

Part 2: Artemis

Part 3.1: The Wrath of the Stag (ch.1)

Part 3.2: The Wrath of the Stag (ch.2)

Warnings: smut, voyeurism, masturbation, fingering, light choking.

Word Count: 5K

"Venetia! I also wanted to..."

But she had already triumphantly closed the bathroom door. You slammed the door a couple of times, but all you heard in response was the muffled sound of water and a Paris Hilton song blasting from the speakers that were in that room. She would definitely listen to the entire album during her bath procedures, and certainly more than once.

Clearly, this would take a long time. It was too long to wait - you'd been shivering from the cold. Nothing special had happened, you just opened the window in your room and were so engrossed in reading a book that you forgot about everything in the world. The summer days in Saltburn were hot, but still the nights gave you chills sometimes. So, every fascination has its price to pay.

The second bathroom in your wing of the house broke down tonight. That was bad, because the servants could not cope on their own, and it was too late to call the plumbing, and there was no such urgent need when there were several bathrooms. It was a pity the senior Cattons didn’t know that when Venetia used to occupy the only bathroom nearby, that was indeed the most urgent need.

You didn't want to bother Felix and Venetia's parents, much less use their bathroom. James and Elspeth were friends of your parents and this was far from your first summer in Saltburn, but still it would be somehow too inconvenient, they were not your uncle and aunt, after all. There was also no question about the servants' bathroom, it seemed even more inconvenient for you to occupy a bathroom that was used by more than 10 people at once.

There was only one option left if you wanted to lie in the bath for as long as you wanted so that no one would bother you, and right now.

You went down to the living room, where you could hear the sound of the TV. Felix was sitting next to Oliver, smoking a cigarette, switching channels and talking cheerfully to his friend.

"Hey Felix!" you spoke to the guy, and he turned to you, his face reflecting the blue light from the TV in the semi-darkness.

"Yes, Y/N?" he smiled.

"Mm... Can I use your bathroom now? We’ve got one tub malfunctioning, and Venetia got stuck in the other, deciding to do Live at Saltburn's Bathroom 2007, no less..."

You specifically said "your bathroom," looking at Felix the whole time. It was more correct to address both guys at once, but you just couldn't look into Oliver's eyes like that and ask him to use his bathroom with Felix.

"Say no more," he grinned, "Of course! Go ahead, enjoy yourself!"

"Thank you," you smiled and nodded at him, and at that moment you finally looked at Oliver. Unlike you, he had been doing nothing but staring at you all this time. You looked into his blue eyes on a face that was bathed in blue light, which made his eyes seem even more piercing. But he never said anything, absolutely nothing. His expression was unreadable. Was he offended that you didn't address him?

You smiled shyly at Oliver, nodded too, and left the room, bumping into Farleigh in the doorway, who was carrying a large pack of crisps.

"Hello, Y/N! How are you... hey Felix, did you switch that reality show that I was watching?!"

"Of course, yes, because no one wants to watch it except you," Felix replied.

"What? It's "Big Brother", actually! Yes, it's a great show, and we all need a little drama sometimes late in the evening! I bet Oliver likes it too. Yes, Oliver?"

"Oh, please!" Felix rolled his eyes and teasingly began to put the remote away from the hands of the approaching Farleigh.

You chuckled and finally left the room. You never looked at Oliver again, but you could swear that you felt his gaze burning into your back.

God, could he really be offended? Or maybe you did something or said something before and didn't realize it? It seems that Oliver had been noticing a lot, but always kept everything to himself.

Oliver, this guy. You met him at Oxofrd and you chatted and even went to some pubs with him and Felix a few times, but you didn't understand what he was like then. To tell the truth, you still had no idea, but the main reason why you were afraid to look him in the eye when you asked about the bathroom was that you thought he would immediately feel and find out about the crush that had been developing for him for the second month now of your growing closer with him here, in Saltburn.

The only thing you could say for sure was that he was not as insecure and awkward himself as you thought at university, rather he was silent and observant, knowing the value of himself, his words and actions. Attentively listening and being generally deep. His inner confidence and even some kind of mystery began to intrigue you in earnest.

Walking through the corridors of the beautiful old manor, you thought to yourself that you were even glad that everything turned out that way with your bathrooms. The thought of you lying in the same hot tub that Oliver lied almost every night strangely excited and turned you on.

You reached the right room, looking around - it was quiet and cozy. You immediately started taking water into the bathroom, and while you were waiting, you started walking in circles. Here was Felix's bathroom table, next to which his red robe was carelessly hung, two crushed toothpastes and a brush with slightly protruding bristles. You imagined that he was brushing his teeth with the speed and power of a blender in order to quickly deal with this chore and get down to much more interesting things that another day had prepared for him.

You laughed softly at this thought, and then went over to Oliver's side.

Everything was surprisingly neat in contrast to his neighbor, one almost full paste, one brush, two neatly folded towels. You wonder where his robe was. Did he come and go without it?

Gods, you started to think about something wrong. But it was too late – you already started imagining Oliver in his underwear, how he comes into this bathroom, takes them off and lies down in a hot tub… Or maybe he comes and goes here right away without underwear? Ugh... that's enough.

You decided not to lock the door from Felix's room - the boys were obviously absorbed in domination for the telly, besides, they know that you were here, so you just loosely closed the door. No one should come in.

The bathtub was almost full of water, you impatiently took off your clothes and decided to put them together with your bathrobe... where? You didn't want to go to Oliver's side - it was too minimalistic and clean. And besides, it seemed like... too intimate for some reason. But Felix's side would tolerate it, also there were a couple of spare towels in the corner that you forgot to take.

You carefully lowered yourself into the bath, the hot water started nibbling your skin. God, it felt so good. You gradually began to stretch and relax.

There was something about lying in an empty room in the bath while the water was still bubbling. The light was pleasantly dimmed, and the air in the room was gradually getting hot and sticky. This kind of environment had always calmed you down and turned you on at the same time. Except that there was a lot more of the excitement this night rather than the calming.

Thoughts of Oliver came back to you. The way he leaves his room, comes into this very bathroom, fills it just like you did. He lies down in it, as you were lying now, inhales hot air and breathe out even hotter air. Beads of sweat are gathering on his body. And you'd already seen his body too many times while you were swimming or sunbathing. Even you, being more of a face girl rather than a six-pack girl, could not sometimes look away, it was good that most of the time you were wearing sunglasses and he hardly noticed anything. Usually you rather admired his face and beautiful eyes, but now, in your fantasies, his eyes were closed, so your imagination stopped at his beautiful figure and, without too much modesty, began to write it out in details.

You couldn't help yourself, except…

The fingers on your left hand began to lightly brush your lips from left to right, you felt your own hot breath. You wondered if they were…

Then the hand began to descend lower, to your breasts, gently cupping one breast. Fingers slowly drew circles around your nipple, and then squeezed it, causing you to bite your lip and inhale sharply.

...if it were his hands, then....

The water was hot, but the heat below you was even stronger. Unable to resist it, your hand moved even lower, carefully making its way through your folds. You started caressing yourself. All these stoked emotions, tension, unspoken words lately, it was all too much. Of course, when you turned to Felix, the first thing you thought about was that it wasn't him using this bathroom, but someone else. What if he did it too, right here in this place?

...You wonder if those were his hands, would they have caressed you the same way?

This and the previous thoughts and the briefly popped images in your head finally brought you to the peak.

"Oliver..." you whispered loudly, unable to keep that name on your lips.

He almost gave himself away at this point.

Of course, you weren't alone all this time. While Felix and Farleigh were arguing over the right to own the remote, Oliver sat next to them, unable to believe that this was happening. You were going to his bathroom. Of course, in his thoughts now (and maybe in his plans for the future) it wasn't just you and Felix's bathroom, no. You, lying in his bathtub, was the only way to say it correctly and so... luscious.

He was already preoccupied with these thoughts from the very beginning, when you innocently asked Felix about the bathroom, and was just waiting for the right moment to slip away from this company. Fortunately, Elspeth soon joined them, and James came in after her, so, thanks to new guests in the room and the still ongoing discussion about what the Catton family would be watching on TV that evening, Oliver was able to slip away without much difficulty.

He impatiently followed your footsteps, counting in his head whether it was enough time to pass for you to look around there, fill the bath, lie down in it and start relaxing. Thinking about the last words, Oliver began to tense up in a certain sense and in a certain place. Yes, he decided, enough time had passed.

Very quietly, he walked through Felix's dark room to the crack in the door, which left a narrow strip of light from the next room. You were lying in the bath. God, it was a pity that he missed the moment when you took off your clothes and lay down there, but it was also good. He would see everything again, and very soon.

Oliver breathed very quietly and slowly.

God, how beautiful you were, even that small part of your body that could be seen from the bathroom and was also limited to the door crack was inexpressibly beautiful to him. He felt like an ancient Greek myths character, some kind of satyr watching the bathing of a beautiful nymph. No, the goddess. He thought of himself as Actaeon, and you were now his Artemis, taking your bath. A hunter who made his way to the goddess of hunting in the forest and was punished for his excessive curiosity, desires and impatience.

It was also some kind of forbidden act, as if he had actually made his way into the sacred grove. The grove was sacred, but he was glaring at you in a completely blasphemous manner. If he had got to be turned into a stag or something, he was willing to pay the price right now. Every fascination has its price to pay. Although no, not right now.…

Oliver was breathing very quietly and slowly, but soon his breathing became heavier and heavier.

It was too much when you started slowly running your hand over your body, starting with your lips and going lower and lower.

His mouth involuntarily opened in amazement, and then his jaw clenched, and he gnashed his teeth almost audibly. He bit his lip. It was impossible to tolerate, no. His own hand also began to slowly descend.

What was he counting on? Probably just to see you lying in his tub, left to yourself. He didn’t know himself. But for some reason, he did not hope for what was happening at that moment. What or who is Y/N thinking about now? He would give a lot to know that. And he would give everything to change the answer to his own name.

His excitement and despair grew within him every passing second.

He did not calculate exactly what happened next. Or rather, he could have guessed only in his wildest dreams. But it must be said, Oliver always had wildest dreams, which he quickly began to believe in.

"Oliver..." - the acoustics of the bathroom and the silence around gave away your secret, and the sensitive hearing of the bearer of this name picked it out unmistakably.

At that moment, the pupils of his eyes widened to their limit, as if he had just learned the most important secret of the universe, which he had longed to possess all his life. To some extent, even on the modest scale of human life and the moment, this was exactly the case.

So, yes. All this time Y/N was thinking about him. Not about Felix. Not about Farleigh. God, it was not even about Venetia or anyone else. About him. About Oliver. About Oliver Quick.

He smiled broadly at the thought that his observations, his intuition and his wildest dreams had met at a single point of truth. He knew that he hadn't made much of an impression on you in those brief meetings you had at Oxford. But you made an impression on him, and that was enough. He was good at waiting, and he was even better at planning. All this getting closer with Felix, this whole year – it was all for you first of all. He knew that you were friends, that you were the daughter of his parents' friends, and that you were often invited to stay at the Catton family estate, and he did everything to get there too. Yes, even if he didn't make a big first impression on you, even if you didn't study together, even if Felix didn't study with you and your paths didn’t cross often enough to communicate a lot at Oxford, but Oliver knew the place where all this would happen. In Saltburn.

That was why he’d been working very hard for the last two months – even if he wasn't always a good conversationalist, he was a great listener and an even better observer. You began getting closer, and he clearly caught your attention. But to what extent, even Oliver was not sure. It seemed that you communicated with Felix and Farleigh with much more ease, even flirting a little. And not only with them, in general, your ease was expressed in communicating with anyone. With anyone but him. More and more often, you began to avoid his gaze, felt visually uncomfortable, stiffed when you were alone with him, and felt a clear relief when someone joined your company. Did you really get to know him better, and the initial indifference became a constant awkwardness in his presence? Oliver was very afraid of that. And deep down he hoped that this way you could just mask your affection for him, because sometimes people do that. This was also present in him to some extent, or rather, it used to be, because Oliver Quick decided to bury his insecurity and shyness deep inside himself. He was not quite done with it yet, but oh the boy was trying, he was trying very hard. He wanted to kill everything in himself that prevents him from becoming who he desired to be and getting what he wanted. Or who he wanted.

That brief smile changed again to a soundlessly open mouth that almost gave out a groan. Oliver held his hand tightly on his crotch, holding onto the wall with his other hand so that his knuckles turned white. After that confession of yours, Oliver was ready to burst into the bathroom at the same second, but no. He would restrain himself, he would not do that. He would be smarter than Actaeon.

He was really able to keep his composure and wait for you to relax and move away from your blessed condition a little, diving into the water a little deeper and slightly closing his eyes from pleasure and calmness that came to you. He moved noiselessly to the other side of the room. He exhaled deeply. Oliver looked at the half-finished can of Red Bull that had been on Felix's bedside table near the entrance for almost a week. Now it was time to act.

You heard footsteps approaching and shivered, opening your eyes.

"Knock, knock! May I come in?" a familiar voice asked sweetly and quite lively.

"Oliver? What are you..." you started, but he interrupted you by going into the bathroom, without waiting for your invitation or even more so for a refusal.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I need to change my clothes urgently," he began guiltily, "I-I'm not looking!"

He was actually walking past you, covering his face with his hand.

"What's happened?" you asked, half rising from the tub.

"I spilled a drink on myself. It's so unsuitable, because this is a shirt that Felix recently gave me, so that I, quote, "won’t wear the same thing over and over again, otherwise it upsets mother, we're not some kind of paupers here, she said to him." This is so damn awkward," he said frustratedly.

"Yes, of course, come in. It's okay."

"Thank you, Y/N! Once again, I'm sorry for the suddenness."

Oliver disappeared and rummaged in his room for a while, and then knocked again, but this time from the side of his own door.

"Yes? Do you want to go back?"

"Yes. And no. Not quite. It seems that I need to wash my shirt right now, before the stain is completely dry..."

"Can you just leave the shirt to the maids?"

"No, no! Disturbing people at such a late hour...And again, until I find someone and get there..."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Come in... if you won’t be watching,"

"While I'm washing my shirt, I won't," Oliver smiled.

He entered the room with his eyes closed in a caricature manner and showed a white shirt with a dark yellow Red Bull stain on the shirt hanging in his outstretched arms. He was wearing white tank top and black trousers, which were only left part from his dinner costume. He also took off his shoes.

"Yeah, I see it. Maybe you can wash it with soap or something?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do now," Oliver went to his sink under a mirror, starting to wash the stain.

You didn't promise not to look. This view of him, the combination of a formal suit with something casual, formed a knot in your stomach. The white tank top that accentuated his slender torso and exposed his muscular arms so well, which were now busy doing laundry, black suit trousers that hugged his legs and ass in such a nice way, as well as the fact that he was standing barefoot in the bathroom, created a feeling of some kind of intimacy. Few people could see him like this even in this house, as if you came from some sort of gala dinner, and now you saw him in the process of changing clothes between some business. It was like you came together, and this was just your house, and that only you were allowed to see this semi-domestic, yet at the same time very sexy look. You inhaled the air quite sharply.

He didn't promise not to watch either. Therefore, the smile slipped from his face, since you did not see him from this angle, from where he could watch you through the mirror while washing his shirt, completely not looking at it. The smile faded because he could barely contain himself again. He was breathing heavily the hot and sticky air of the bathroom. Damn if only could he pounce and ravish you right now, in this very bath. Oliver was reveling in the way you were looking at him, the way you were looking at him now, thinking that he didn't notice it. Your sharp sigh was the last drop.

"Thinking about something?" Oliver asked you in an even tone.

"What? Oh, no, I just, uh..."

"It's weird, I thought I heard your voice when I first came in here. Did you talk to someone?"

"Of course not, because it's just me... and you."

"I could swear you were talking to someone..." Oliver said wistfully.

You felt the heat in the still hot bath water again, only now your face was burning. Did he hear you muttering his name? It couldn't be, could it have happened before he came in? Or did you not remember something? You were so relaxed. And now you were tensing up, afraid that he would find out your little, or rather, very, very big secret, which you were afraid to fully admit even to yourself.

"I... don't..."

Oliver sighed and stopped washing his shirt, turning to you and leaning on his table. He stared at you unblinkingly, arms crossed over his chest. You instinctively gasped and covered your chest with your hands, crossing your legs.

"My dear, I don't bite. Be a good girl and tell me who you were thinking about while lying in that bathtub, mm?"

"You promised not to look!" It seems like your face couldn't be any redder than it was now.

"I said I wouldn't look while I’d be washing my shirt," Oliver raised both hands in front of him, looking straight into your eyes, "As you can see, I'm done with it."

"But I’m not done with you at all," he thought to himself and slowly began to approach you from behind.

"Oliver, what are you-"

"Shh," he knelt down and gently put his hands on your shoulders, carefully gathering your wet hair to the center of your neck, "I won't look if you want, but let me apologize for my intrusion, I didn't mean to bother you."

He began to gently massage your shoulders, as the pads of his thumbs moved to your neck. You sighed softly and shifted your legs. It seems like both halves of your body were burning equally badly now.

"That's it, good girl," he cooed softly, exhaling hot air almost into your ear. His measured breathing burned your neck, "So, will you tell me who you were thinking about while lying in this tub?"

He asked the question as if he knew the answer to it. You wanted terribly and didn't want to tell him at the same time. It seems that even if you wanted to, the words were stuck in your throat. His long fingers began to tighten, moving slightly towards your neck. "I won't leave it until you tell me yourself." You twitched your legs again. Were you scared or did it turn you on? It seems to be both.

"And please don't hide with your hands from me, yeah? Do you know how fuckin' beautiful you are?" he took one hand off from your neck and gently pushed your hand away, taking up space under your breasts. There was a complete silence in the room. He moved a little to the left side of the tub. At that moment, your eyes met, and everything inside you turned upside down. His beautiful blue eyes were now almost dark with longing. His breathing was slow and heavy, shaking the already hot and sticky air between your faces. The tension was too strong to resist. Yes, it seems that your feelings towards each other were mutual.

Your lips slowly met, and then everything was like a blur. After a short while, Oliver sensually ran his tongue over your lower lip, asking for an invitation to come in. You opened your mouth a little more, where he immediately had slipped with his tongue, leisurely enjoying every corner of your mouth as much as possible. Then he broke the kiss in the lips just to kiss your collarbone without breaking your visual contact. You remembered that his other hand was resting under your chest, and now it began to stroke your skin and climb higher. Oliver began caressing your breasts just the way you had done before – first cupping it in his hand, and then slowly began to lead circles around your nipple until he squeezed it lightly. You cried out softly with pleasure.

"So, darling? And now you're going to tell me who you were thinking about...?"

If earlier words did not come out of you because of surprise and sensation of a slight fear, now they did not come out of you because of excitement and disbelief in what was happening in general. Oliver grinned, closing his eyes, lowering and shaking his head a bit. Then he stood up and, cupping your face in his hands, kissed you again. But this time the kiss was greedy, almost immediately his tongue penetrated you mouth, without asking for any permission now. But you didn't need it, you almost moaned into his lips in response. One of his hands moved from your cheek to your neck and began to squeeze it lightly.

After breaking the kiss, he looked at you again. It seems that now you were ready to reveal his name, but decided not to do so, to see what would happen next, gathering all the remnants of your weakening will, and silently looked at him in response. Oliver seemed to catch this mood and, giving you a dark excitement smile, took a step back, removing one hand from your throat and moving it to your inner thigh. His other hand was on your chest again. Your body covered with goosebumps under the water. He entered you with one finger, and you finally let out a real moan. Smiling with satisfaction, he added his second finger and increased the pace. The water started splashing out of the bathtub from your fidgeting and legs movements. The hand that rested on your breast began to squeeze it, and the thumb massaged your nipple rougher and rougher. You began to moan more often and louder under the caresses of your uninvited, but such a welcome guest. Perhaps it was more correct to say that you were the guest, and he was more like the host here, but your already confused thoughts were interrupted by his hoarse and authoritative voice, "Who were you thinking about lying here, touching yourself? Whose hands were you imagining at that moment?"

You just moaned in response, and he picked up the pace.

"Say the name, say it out loud"

"Oh... Oliver! It was you, Oliver."

"Yes," his eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze darkened even more, and his mouth let out a soundless moan full of satisfaction at what he had heard. He had experienced complete moral satisfaction, and now he would give you a physical one.

He bent down to you more, greedily and sloppily kissing you, without taking his hands off caressing your body, he added the third finger, and in less than a minute you came loudly under his fingers.

You were breathing heavily, just like Oliver himself. You looked at each other, both of you had a swarm of thoughts and a hurricane of feelings in your heads. "Good, sweet Y/N. I'm so glad that tonight turned out that way," he kissed you again, sweetly and almost innocently. He sat on his knees by the bath for a while and just looked at you. You started to get embarrassed again and looked away.

"I'm sorry, you probably need some time alone, and they've probably been waiting for me downstairs. The shirt still needs to be hung up to dry!" he said cheerfully, getting up from his knees, quickly taking the shirt from the sink and disappearing into his room. When he returned, you saw that he was wearing shoes again, and another shirt was thrown over his tank top.

"Have a pleasant late evening, Y/N! If you're not tired, join us in the living room," Oliver smiled at you, and then, already standing in the aisle, added quite nicely but firmly, "And if you want or need to use this room again, put your things down and take towels from my half of the bathroom, hmm?"

With these words, he left the room, leaving you in a storm of feelings and once again thinking how observant and puzzling he was sometimes, as it may not seem at first.

He was over the moon, but of course he would like to get a lot more out of you than he got today. But he knew how to wait, a good hunter should be able to do it, and today Oliver praised himself that he did it perfectly. Actaeon was considered the best out of the mortal hunters.

He was running, almost flying down the estate towards the living room. The Cattons were probably watching some nonsense there, as they always did. But he didn't care, because all his thoughts were about tomorrow night, hoping that you would come to use his bathroom again. Hoping that Venetia would occupy your bathroom again for a long enough time, and if she wouldn't, then maybe he would consider clogging of the second tub.

Oliver knew how to wait, and even better he knew how to act at the right moment.

Surely, he would surpass Actaeon himself.

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jackoshadows · 2 months

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It's so confusing and weird that Bridgerton introduced in world racism both with Lady D and Simon in season one of the show and in Queen Charlotte and at the same time they also want the audience to accept that somehow Marina Thompson or the dark skinned Indian Kate Sharma has more privilege and power than Penelope Featherington?

Kate Sharma was also poor, so much more than the Featheringtons. She depended on Lady D to host them. The Sharmas were looked down on by the ton because Mary Sheffield married an Indian. The Sharmas were disowned and ostracized by the Sheffields.

Kate was also an unmarried spinster. No one was asking Kate to dance. As much as Kate wanted love and romance and to dance at a ball wearing pretty dresses, she got none of that. She was also the woman on the sidelines watching as others danced and fell in love.

Racism and colorism is also very much a thing in eurocentric notions of beauty considering the setting and characters of Bridgerton is 99% white.

We got so little of Kate's backstory, of who her parents where - we didn't even get their names!! - of the trauma (explained for both Simon and Anthony using flashbacks) that had Kate overlooking her own happiness for that of her sister.

Despite bragging nonstop about the diversity of Bridgerton the showrunners thought that the white Featheringtons needed more screentime in season 2 rather than the South Asian family.

And Kate was planning on going back to India and work as a governess to pay for her livelihood. Because, you know, there's more honest ways of being a 'working woman' than running the equivalent of the regency 'Daily Mail' dragging other women down. The modiste Madame Delacroix, Kate planning to teach and Sienna in season one are all working to pay a living. Black, brown and lower class women looking to alleviate poverty.

And considering how much harder Kate already had it as an outsider in the ton, it wouldn't have been easy with Penelope using her gossip rag to describe the unmarried Indian woman as ' a Spinster of a beast'. What did Kate do to Penelope to warrant this? Nothing. Just a way for Penelope to make money at Kate's expense.

That's the thing I dislike the most about the way the character of Penelope is written on the show - her victims don't deserve her vitriol and are often in much worse circumstances than her. From Kate Sharma to the unnamed seamstress who apparently lost all her customers because Penelope wrote falsely about their work in the her tabloid as a bribe for Madam Delacroix.

And I think that's what I find problematic about the writing of the show and even the discourse surrounding it - when characters like Marina Thompson (the poor black cousin who would have ended up destitute on the streets because of Penelope) and Kate Sharma arguably have it far worse than Penelope Featherington as per the show's writing and yet we are supposed to have the most sympathy for Penelope because her crush Colin didn't love her back and she's a curvy white woman?

I guess that's the difference between how I perceive this world and these characters as a woc and the majority white female audience for this show and it's such a huge disconnect for me. I guess this is also partly because the show has this badly written and 'strangely toothless racism' as Ash Sarkar beautifully put it. As in the racism is treated in this world as a little problem solved by handing out a few titles to black people instead of being a white supremacist ideology which treated black and brown people as inferior, serfs and slaves.

From what little we got from season 2, Kate Sharma definitely did not have it easy navigating the ton as a poor outsider and that certainly contributed to her poor choices. She is also put through the wringer, treated like the other woman, is miserable for several episodes, had to apologize again and again and nearly die before Edwina forgives her!

In contrast Penelope's actions have hurt so many and yet she gets a pass by both the show and a fandom that wants Colin to grovel before her because of a single offhand remark and because he didn't return her affections.

Also making it clear here that I am not comparing Penelope to the male characters who always get the better writing, flaws and all. I am comparing Penelope to the female characters of colour - Kate Sharma and Marina Thompson.

I mean, Marina Thompson gets so much vitriolic and sexist hatred for not having told Colin Bridgerton the truth of her pregnancy. How dare Marina hurt this privileged white man Colin Bridgerton. When she was desperate to not end up destitute on the streets or get raped by old white men. And yet Penelope gets a pass for hurting women like Marina and Kate.

It continues a trend of white female characters never being held to the same standard as female characters of colour. Daphne sexually assaults Simon in season one and that was not even addressed on the show. Male rape is apparently no big deal because Daphne wanting children is what's important. It's Simon who has to apologize and within one episode resolve his trauma and accept being a father. This is despite both Daphne and Penelope having more screentime and more writing that builds their character unlike the stick thin writing given to Kate Sharma in season 2.

So yeah, I will be checking into season 3 to watch the ten minutes we get with Kate Sharma since we got so little of her in her own season and it's so singular to get dark skinned south Indian characters in a period drama romance like this. It's just the way the writing on the show, the production and even the fandom treats it's characters, especially characters of colour has been disappointing to say the least.

#Bridgerton #Kate Sharma #Marina Thompson #female characters in Bridgerton #writing #fandom discourse

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muzanswaifu · 1 year

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A Step Ahead

Yandere! Tomioka x Fem! Reader

18+

After celebrating New Year's in the city with your friends, it's time to go home for the night. A man is behind you. What will you do?

This is a game I've come up with where I will provide you with a couple paragraphs of story then give you choices for what actions the reader takes next. The winner of the poll will be the next section of the story the I will give you guys the next round of choices until the fanfic is concluded. Smut will occur at some point. Please join!

Warnings: Yandere, Smut later on

“We’ll see you later!”

“Yeah, see ya!”

You slowly turned away from them, walking down the busy street toward the eastern exit, passing several parade mascots and prancing dancers covered head to toe in loud clothing. The New Year’s Festival was always busy, but this year seemed to be especially popular, almost twice the amount of people than usual. You also were only visiting the city to visit friends and celebrate, but it just seemed so strange that everything was so crowded. Lines were longer for games and food couldn’t be made fast enough. You nearly didn’t stay long enough for the fireworks due to such overstimulation but with some pestering and blackmail by your friends, you bore through it long enough.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even want to spend so long in the city tonight. If you were up to you, you all would have gone to the festival, played a couple games, ate some food, watched a stage play, then gone back to someone’s home to lie around and gossip. But the ladies insisted you stay out all night, fooling around and even flirting with some boys that your fathers most certainly wouldn’t have approved of you talking to. It’s not that you minded too much being out and about, but it’s just… not what you had in mind for tonight specifically. You’ve been quite a bit anxious as of late, something felt off. You couldn’t point it out just yet, but the hair rising along your nape whispered cautions into your ear like a prophecy. It felt as if something were to go wrong at some point, so might as well quit while you were ahead.

Unfortunately, you didn’t live in the city like your friends. Your parents still had their residence in a nearby small village and as much as you would’ve liked to have moved out by now, you simply couldn’t afford it. Your job at the shop didn’t pay enough, you weren’t in a relationship, much less did you have a husband, and you just weren’t ready to leave home yet. Mother was pregnant again, much to your displeasure as you had grown quite tired of having so many siblings, and she needed help around the house that the others couldn’t provide. Your two older brothers were already moved out of the house doing their own things and your oldest sister gone and married. You were the oldest in the house now and that came with responsibilities. Mother nearly hadn’t let you come out tonight until Father convinced her to let you be young while you still could. Despite having turned eighteen all that time ago, he still treated you like a little girl. That had its perks fortunately.

Unfortunately it had its cons as well - curfews. You were leaving now and would still be late, but one could argue that was better than not at all. You would get a talking to at most. But the walk itself was a punishment in itself. The road to the village hadn’t been paved by the city yet due to its lack of popularity. Not many people traveled to and fro so it hadn’t become a priority. The wood was still thick this way of town, and despite the wildlife being marginally safe, the fear of the unknown was a danger more fearsome. You’d yet to experience an actual life threatening experience, but you hated to jinx it. The gravel was as coarse as ever, threatening your ankle with a twist and providing the soles of your shoes with a challenge. Save for the sparse lanterns lighting the path, darkness was smothering you and sending shocks of nervousness up your spine. Had it not been for the fireworks filling the area with light every few minutes, you might’ve turned back and begged one of your friends to let you spend the night.

The walk was relatively silent, a trill here and there from squirrels and rabbits but nothing too frightening. What was really bothering you was the crackling of branches and fallen leaves behind you. The sound seemed misplaced compared to its siblings to the left and right of you. That combined with the chill had you increasing your pace, desperate to get home and crawl into your warm, cozy bed already. The sounds quickened. You gasped.

A firework broke off just as you turned, light filling in the gaps between the trees and setting off a bomb of clarity to your surroundings.

There was a man behind you...

His vision disappeared far quicker than it came, the light only temporary as you were yet again accompanied by questions. You didn’t see much, he was several yards away and taller you think, dark and messy hair. He could’ve been a mile away, short, and bright and you still would’ve been afraid. Who the hell trails behind someone like that in the dark? Unless… he was following you...

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artificial-transmutations · 1 year

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Two sides of the same coin - Officer

Buck and Tony were the perfect gay couple. They lived together since years, almost never argued and, most importantly, loved each other unconditionally. Their relationship was so close that they often said they were practically married anyway. In fact, their parents even got along quite well with each other!

They shared the same interests including a love for video games, so today, as usual on a Saturday evening, they were lying on the couch together, playing and played some relaxing video game. They had ordered pizza before and were happy they didn't need to leave the house anymore today. It could have been an evening like any other Saturday evening, but it wasn't.

Tony felt a bit uncomfortable and shifted around in his seat before he reached under himself, fishing out a small sparkling coin.

"Ha! Thought I was sitting on something! Look at that." He showed Buck the shiny piece of metal.

"What is it?" asked Buck curiously.

"I don't know, it just appeared out of nowhere," Tony answered. As he took a closer look however, the coin just vanished into thin air. "Huh, weird!"

"Maybe it was just some cookie and it crumbled apart when you picked it up", suggested Buck.

"Perhaps...", Tony said, not really convinced and tried to get back to his game. However, he was finding the video game increasingly boring. He glanced over to see if Buck was still concentrating on the screen, but Buck's eyes were focused on him instead.

"What?" he asked, feeling embarrassed.

"Nothing," Buck replied quickly.

"No, tell me what you're looking at."

"You," Buck said simply.

"Me? Why?"

"Because you are sexy," Buck admitted shyly.

It seemed like Buck was in the mood today. Well, why not. "How about we watch some porn", suggested Tony.

Since a few minutes ago, Buck was feeling increasingly horny. He was rarely in the mood for sex, but today was different. So, when Tony suggested to put on some porn, Buck agreed quickly. After all, watching two men fuck each other was pretty hot stuff after all.

When they turned on the TV and found a nice gay movie, they settled down onto the couch again and watched the scene unfold. It was about a cop controlling traffic who forced a speeding man to suck his cock instead of paying. The guy obviously liked sucking cock and sucked on the officer's hard dick while getting fucked from behind by his partner.

Buck was already rubbing his own cock through his jeans when he saw how the two guys kissed passionately.

Tony also found concentrating on the porn movie much easier than the game before. Somehow, he had found the game a bit too difficult to follow today. His eyes were glued to the police officer on the screen, and he also massaged his cock in his sweatpants.

Without looking to his boyfriend, he asked: "Do you think a police uniform would suit me?"

"Sure," Buck responded at once, picturing his boyfriend in a police uniform. Both of them weren't exactly fit, so he had to use a bit of fantasy to imagine Tony as a burly policeman, but yeah, it could definitely work.

"And then there's my hair," continued Tony, stroking his medium black hair. "I should cut it shorter, right?"

"Yeah," Buck nodded enthusiastically, thinking about Tony as a cop with a short buzz cut. It would certainly make him look more intimidating.

While they were both fantasizing, the movie had come to an end. Tony immediately started a new one and discarded his shirt and pants. Now only in his boxers, he fished out his cock and started stroking it slowly.

"And if I were a cop, what would my uniform look like", he asked.

Buck found this whole conversation oddly erotic, so he answered without hesitation: "I think it would be blue."

"With golden buttons", added Tony, imagining himself being dressed in a tight uniform. He couldn't help but feel excited at the thought of having a big bulge in his pants. He imagined how people would react if he walked past them in such clothes.

Buck was so into the conversation that he didn't even notice that on the tv screen, the scene had turned into a mmf threesome. Tony was still watching it but found it oddly exciting. How had he never noticed that bouncing boobs excited him?

Buck was feeling light-headed. The mental images of Tony in a police uniform didn't seem so far off, actually. He had a good fit build and wore his hair in a short buzz cut already. He just needed a bit more muscle, and of course, a uniform. He briefly imagined how it must feel to be his uniform? To cling to that muscular body, to cover that firm ass.

"You would go commando of course", Buck fantasized, "Nothing between your dick and me..."

"You?" asked Tony and switched the porn channel. Straight porn. A busty blonde being fucked by a cop. Why not? "You want to be my uniform?"

Buck didn't mean to say it out loud, but the question alone made him stroke his cock even harder. "Yes! Think about it! I could be your vest, and your pants, and even your boots!"

Tony wasn't sure what to think of that idea of being this intimate with another man, he was no fag, after all. On the other hand, that wasn't a man he was talking about, but a mere object, a bit of fabric, leather and metal.

Buck didn't know what hit him. He was a human being, but right now, nothing felt righter than being just a set of clothing, wrapped around this man’s chiseled physique. The large muscles that danced when he stroked his cock to each moan of the girl on tv, the heavy balls that made a sweaty slapping sound, the muscular butt. With a cry of ecstasy, Buck came, shooting cum all over his body. At the same time, he deflated, like a balloon losing air. His feet were the first to change, becoming black combat boots. His legs followed suit and turned into a pair of blue police pants, while his cock and balls elongated into a black leather belt with a weapon holster. The cum quickly dried into his chest, as it turned into a blue vest with badges on them and a white undershirt. Finally, his head turned into a black leather police cap, as the last remains of his human mind faded away.

The last thing he sensed was that the police office on the couch finally came, spewing cum all over himself. A big strong hand grabbed his undershirt body and wiped away the cum with it. The uniform part gladly absorbed all of it, adding one more stain to the numerous ones that were already there.

Tony, the police officer sighed. He needed that break. There hadn't been any hot woman speeding today and he had felt blue-balled. Perhaps he should just start stopping hot babes for no reason. Yeah, he grinned. That sounded like a great idea. He quickly got dressed, not caring about the wet cum stains on his undershirt. Of course, he went commando. He always did, he just loved the thought of not having anything between his large cock and his uniform pants. And the bulge was a real eye-catcher for the ladies, too.

If you enjoyed this story, you might like my other ones in this theme. Also be sure to check out this cool blog!

#inanimate tf #inanimate transformation #male transformation #cop #gay to straight #two sides of the same coin

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ghcstao3 · 1 year

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drabble? fic? ficlet? i barely know the distinction atp. ghostsoap (ish), 1.1k words, on y va !

Soap is the proud owner of an asshole cat.

This cat—a Ragdoll named Precious, of all things—only tolerates three people in her life, and even that’s a stretch: Soap, is one of the obvious, and both Soap’s parents because that’s who she stays with while he’s away for work.

Now, Soap loves Precious. Sure, she can be mean sometimes and has left him with a few scratches, but those were just because he hadn’t respected her wishes to be left alone, obviously—because maybe an hour following those sorts of incidents, they’re back to cuddling, and Soap is back to cooing at her and giving her treats just because a particular meow sounded cute. He treats Precious like his child, and whenever he’s on leave that cat gets spoiled.

Unfortunately, however, he’s had previous partners complain about Precious just because she always swatted at them, or because she’d hissed every time they attempted to pet her without ever approaching the way strangers should—but in the end, who got to stick around? Certainly none of Soap’s exes. And that gets Soap thinking if he had to choose, Precious would always come first. It has him realizing that maybe he wouldn’t ever have a partner because of it, but he decides that’s alright. Precious is all he needs for companionship.

Soap is also the less-proud brother of two rather nosy sisters.

Usually the chain of information about Soap is passed in one way: Soap’s older sister pries something out of him, tells that something to their mother, and his youngest sister easily gets that something from their mother because she still lives with their parents. His father is often out of the loop, or tied somewhere in the chain with Soap’s little sister, and thank God for small mercies.

But regardless, nothing gets past anyone, and that’s how one of the biggest domino effects of Soap’s recent life is set off.

Back to the cat.

Even though Soap had long since decided that he wouldn’t ever need a partner, and may never end up with one, he is willing to try one last time with his lieutenant. It’s a long story with lots of rule bending, and the most awkward confession spoken by man on Soap’s part—but by the time Soap ventures to introduce Ghost to Precious for the first time, he thinks he may already be in love.

He’s nervous, though. Because he’s never wanted a relationship to work out so badly before, and if Ghost doesn’t like Precious, or wouldn’t be willing to learn to live with her and her flaws, then Soap will be more than a little heartbroken.

Then a miracle happens. Or maybe less so a miracle and more so Precious deciding for Soap that he’s found The One. Because Precious warms up to Ghost immediately, which is saying something considering it took Soap himself a while to earn her trust. But Ghost? Precious takes one sniff at his hand and essentially declares him to be her new favourite (not that she really had one of those before).

In all, this series of events ends up with Soap’s only photo of Ghost unmasked on his phone, amidst photos of the 141 and Precious and various places he’s been, when one afternoon on leave he witnesses Ghost napping on the couch with Precious comfortably curled up on his stomach, the two of them snoring like motors. Ghost never finds out about the image, Soap forgets about it, then his older sister reenters the picture and reminds him while also becoming the reason Soap’s family finds out that he’s finally dating again.

He was going to tell them. Just not yet, is all. He’d been waiting on the right time, or something like that.

Soap is on leave alone for the first time in a while. His sister pays him a visit, asks to see something on his phone, and because he’d only been half-listening, Soap thinks nothing of it to hand it over.

This is his first mistake, and, really, the trigger event to the worst month of his life by way of exasperated berating from his mother and a bombardment of questions from everyone else.

“John?”

“Hm?”

“Who’s this?”

Soap looks up from the book he’d been half-heartedly reading to have his phone shoved in his face with the photo of Ghost and Precious napping on the screen. His stomach drops.

“He—uh.” Soap blanks. He doesn’t want to tell the truth, but knows the lie about to leave his mouth would be anything but convincing. “A one-night stand.”

His sister raises her eyebrows, entirely unimpressed. “You take pictures of your one-night stands?”

Soap shrugs helplessly, fingers curling tighter around his book as he tries to casually look anywhere but the image. “Thought he looked cute? Y’ken how Precious is with people.”

“Not buyin’ it,” she says. She pulls the phone away and scrutinizes the screen herself, zooming into something, then scrolling to something else. “He is cute, though.”

“Can you just—“ Soap attempts to swipe his phone back, but she raises her arm before he can. He scowls and sets his book down. “Please give me my phone back.”

“Not ‘til you tell me who he is.”

Soap groans, scrubs at his face with the heels of his palms. Having a sister is the worst. He can’t imagine how this would go if they’d both been here.

“He’s…” Soap sighs, shoulders sagging. He grumbles, “We’re dating.”

“How long?”

“Six months.”

The gasp his sister lets out makes it sound like he’d just told her someone died. He’s then left to answer a million-and-one questions about Ghost, accidentally reveals that he is, in fact, dating the lieutenant he’d been non-stop pining over for far too long, and is eventually threatened to invite Ghost to Christmas dinner that year, “or else.”

He goes through the same thing with his mother two weeks later, once the chain has been started up again. And Ghost, the bastard, has the audacity to laugh. He just thinks it’s so funny the verbal ass-beating Soap gets over the phone until the call ends and Soap shows Ghost the reason this was all happening. Tells him he snores, too. And loud. It puts Ghost in the defensive long enough for Soap to feel a little less miserable about the whole situation, and gives him time to think about how he’s going to ask Ghost to come home with him for the holidays in a few months.

All because Soap is the proud owner of an asshole cat, the less-proud brother of nosy sisters, and the very-proud boyfriend of the best man he’s ever known.

Soap is definitely going to buy Precious some expensive treats the next time he’s home.

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost x soap #ghoap #ghost mw2 #soap mw2 #soapghost #ghostsoap #secret relationship #drabble #writing #fanfic #cat owner soap is a necessity tbh

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jayktoralldaylong · 5 months

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Thinking again about Lang Qianqiu's and Xie Lian's relationship because it is under-discussed (especially with the new Donghua episodes).

Watching the Donghua after reading the book is like re-reading the book and then you see all these fresh new things that you overlooked before. Things that were misinterpreted because of circumstance but now hit with a whole new meaning!

First of all, how proud Xie Lian is of Lang Qianqiu when he's first introduced.

TGCF BOOK SPOILERS.

It's clear that Jun Wu introduced them just for the stake of stirring the pot with their past, but Xie Lian held no animosity or hate towards Lang Qianqiu, prince of the enemy kingdom. If anything, he was so very fond of the boy that reminded him of his younger self. They have a student/teacher relationship but I see them sometimes as child and parent because of how proud Xie Lian is and how far he goes sometimes to protect Lang Qianqiu. In the book he said a line that summarised could basically mean that he'd take all the blame, punishment and pain, he would endure any suffering if it meant that Lang Qianqiu could keep living innocently and pure, believing in good people and kindness. More than anything, Xie Lian wanted to protect that boy's heart.

Poor Lang Qianqiu who he'd raised to believe in kindness and peaceful coexistence, who had come in late for his birthday party which was the only reason he hadn't ended up dead. He'd just been a little late. He was excited, looking forward to seeing his father and mother. A young lad of seventeen. I bet Xie Lian was also looking forward to Qianqiu's birthday, might have even prepared a gift for him. Yet what happened? He discovered a terrible plot much too late, everyone had already been killed. Foolish people who lived in the present and believed that Xianle would rather die than dine with their enemy. The poor people didn't want that, the people dependent on Yong An's kindness and generosity would surely perish. Yong'An's mercy was the closest Xie Lian had come of saving the people of Xianle since his fall. For the people he'd failed to protect, he just wanted them to have a safe house with the kindest prince of all ruling over them.

Those selfish rebels wanted to start what would have been a terrible civil was that would have ended tragically for all the people of Xianle, they would have been stamped out like ants until they were no more. To make things worse, just as Xianle had chased away the last of the rebels, he discovered that the King was still alive. The dying King of Yong'An had just one request. He wanted the people of Xianle to pay. In that moment, what decision could the prince of a failed nation possibly do? The King wanted revenge, one couldn't fault him of that, but innocent people would suffer. The rebels were a small group, they'd taken decisions on their own. The King wouldn't care about that, people would die, children would die. To crown it all, just after Xie Lian had made a decision. Just after he'd sunk his sword into the King to silence his vengeance....who would walk in but the student he was proud of the most, seventeen year old Lang Qianqiu who'd finally made it to his birthday party.

The whole thing....was a mess.

That poor child. Imagine seeing the person you admire the most yanking their weapon from the lifeless body of your parent, and surrounding him are all of your relatives and nobles of the kingdom covered in blood. Of course such a thing is traumatising. Of course he buried Xie Lian in a hole. When a person feels that much pain, their only desire is to make the one who hurt them understand how much it hurt.

Of course Xie Lian took the blame. A a nameless and faceless Guoshi, they wouldn't be able to connect him with the people of Xianle. The people would be free of blame, and he would suffer alone. Lang Qianqiu would just have to do with his pain and his pain alone.

The way Xie Lian looks upset when Lang Qianqiu gets hurt. The way he'd rather lie over and over again, than let Lang Qianqiu believe that he was wrong for being kind.

Xie Lian remembers what it was like to be like Lang Qianqiu. He also knows how trauma twisted him into a monster that he's regretted for all of his years. He couldn't bear to imagine Lang Qianqiu going through the same. For as long as he can help it, he will mindlessly shield the boy from the ugliness of politics.....because Xie Lian loves him so much. (⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)(⁠T⁠T⁠)

That's basically his son. He's so proud of him.

I love what Xie Lian said to Lang Qianqiu, I'll love it round the world and back. I can't quote it but basically "You're not the one who did wrong, the people of Xianle are not wrong too, the wrong people are the evil doers. It is not your fault that wicked people took advantage of your kindness. You're not to blame....for being kind."

Felt like he was talking to himself for real. (⁠T⁠T⁠)

#Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu #xie lian #lang qianqiu #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #Xie Lian's boy

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vaguely-concerned · 5 months

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Thoughts upon finishing Master and Apprentice! A good double read with Padawan; the ending of that leaving Obi-Wan slightly hopeful about his relationship to Qui-Gon makes for a very sad yet hilarious ‘Local Padawan loses last little bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of vibe to the beginning of this one, which is set one (1) year later and Obi-Wan is So Done with Qui-Gon’s whole deal by this point (correctly btw). Also if you can’t tell already I will not be objective or free from bias in this because I love Obi-Wan so much and some of the stuff Qui-Gon pulled made me incandescent with rage on his behalf <3 let’s go

- 'oh obi-wan, you're so mature for your age, I keep forgetting you're only seventeen years old,' qui-gon says, word for word, repeatedly, in master and apprentice, apparently willfully deaf to the industrial-sized warning bells about their relationship dynamic that should probably be setting off in his head. qui-gon believes in vibing with the living force and being in the moment right up until the moment requires him to pay attention to the kid he's raising for more than oh, one and a half minutes of self-effacing inner monologue and then he's like 'well unfortunately there is simply no time for that right now there are prophecies to be pondered'. (the fact that the admission that obi-wan has essentially been left to raise himself emotionally and the resigned reframing of that as 'and maybe that is a good thing!' is part of the olive branch they extend to each other towards the end... will my sadness never end)

- most of all it's so heartbreaking to me that qui-gon seemingly never understands just how much obi-wan as a person is rooted deeply in shame. I don't think that's a feeling that's particularly prevalent in qui-gon's own inner world so he doesn't recognize how central it is in obi-wan's psychology and completely misunderstands and misaligns with him again and again and again and then gets annoyed with obi-wan for that, thus making the shame even deeper. doubly painful because he does see the way rael lives so much of his life out of shame now and feels sad about it, but can't see the way he's contributing to obi-wan doing so. this is what fucks me up so bad about the generational trauma in star wars -- no one here meant to be cruel. for all his faults I do think qui-gon does love obi-wan and doesn't mean to hurt him. but the original sin of the prequels as far as I'm concerned is qui-gon tenderly drying away obi-wan's tears as he's dying even while completely failing to see him, his eyes too fixed on anakin's future to actually be with obi-wan, who's there right now and needs him.

these are simply very different people trying and failing to understand each other, and the harm that can still happen in that… 'if you love me, you don't love me in a way I understand', all the way through the disaster line, even when the love is there, it is there, that’s what hurts the most, it just doesn’t reach where it’s needed, there’s a connection that doesn’t happen. (ironically I think ahsoka doesn't doubt that anakin loves her, it's just uh everything else that went down. so y'know family curse broken! new even more fucked up curse achieved now with more child murder. I mean there already was some child murder in this family but anakin upped the game exponentially)

- a lil guy who's basically tarzan except the gorillas are replaced with protocol droids and then he becomes a jewel thief is one of the funniest star wars concepts I've ever heard and I hope pax and rahara get to pop up in more star wars media, they’re great fun. (also an idea I think would be super fun to make a character/campaign around in Edge of the Empire or something, everyone playing different droids and then one person being robo-parented lol)

- was not prepared to have rael posit a theory of what essentially seems to be the jedi version of predestination in his despair, but I do love to see it haha. especially interesting since he, qui-gon and dooku must be among the people alive who've studied the prophecies in most depth, and they've all reached different conclusions -- dooku decides to join the war of light and dark on the side of dark for some reason, qui-gon (possibly the stubbornest fucker the jedi order ever produced) 'turns towards the light not to win some great cosmic game, but because it is the light', and rael in the middle falls into the depressed apathy of 'it doesn't matter what we do here, the outcome is already decided; for there to be true balance there has to be as much dark as light in the world so we're fucked'. but in the end he does take qui-gon's words to heart and turns towards the light rather than accepting dooku's offer, even if he might not believe it makes a difference in the long run. man I love rael. hobo-looking sonofabitch living in a castle for eight years will just suddenly fling out some deep jedi theology huh

- master rael 'I'm gonna make up for the big terrible mistake I made on accident by making an even bigger more premeditated mistake on purpose' averross (affectionate)

- the added layer to dooku’s fascination with prophecy after reading dooku: jedi lost — that his best friend in the world was a seer who couldn’t turn it off and it destroyed him……….. dooku you’re not getting him back if you just understand what he saw you know that right

- the more I read of master and apprentice the more I realize that the reason yoda and qui-gon don't get along is that they're two of the judgiest bitches the jedi order ever produced. They’re like two cats scowling judgmentally at each other from opposite sides of the room pretending to live and let live while going ‘you’re wrong tho’ internally.

- I dunk on him constantly (not entirely without affection, however grudging), but Qui-Gon is genuinely a really interesting character. He’s so… he’s so. He’s infuriating but he’s infuriating in an equidistant sort of way. You feel me. He’s pissing everyone off equally and he just doesn’t care because again, he’s the stubbornest judgiest bitch around and thinks he’s right all the time. I would be free to just enjoy his ornery ‘no actually I’m right about this’ ass and the chaos he wreaks so much more if Obi-Wan didn’t have to live with the emotional consequences of it lol.

- poor rael closing in on fifty with his puriteen middle-aged little brother clutching pearls about his getting laid once in a blue moon fhdskjahfas. again a really interesting insight into different ways of interpreting the jedi code, though, I love seeing the jedi not be an ideological monolith. to be fair to rael, having sex sometimes does seem to be the indulgence he has that causes the least conflict with his principles or loyalties so you know what honestly force speed you my friend why not. (and then there's qui-gon 'noooo sex is only okay if you're In Love (implied: like I was)!!!' jinn lmao. I wonder what he'd think of anakin and padme's relationship, would that pass the 'being sufficiently purely in love' test for him) I do like how consistently it’s shown that rael doesn’t mean to be cruel or unkind in anything he says, he always notices something landing too close to home and then pulls carefully back from it instead of pushing on. He seems to be the emotional intelligence powerhouse in this lineage (as long as he doesn’t have his feelings too tangled up in something, at least).

Dooku: jedi lost also shows us that dooku absolutely knows rael is out there in the galaxy laying pipe and is, at worst, softly amused by it. So in this little family unit it’s only qui-gon losing his mind over it fjsdkafa I’m so used to having qui-gon be the wild card maverick compared to obi-wan ‘*in tears* but what are the RULES master’ kenobi, it’s so fucking funny that within the context that raised him he’s the stick in the mud

I guess. the book also had a plot and it was not bad! some interesting insights about how the republic interacted with the big corporations and just how fucked everything already was by this point. I'm a pretty character-driven reader so that's what sticks with me for the most part

- obi-wan’s big teenage rebellion here being that sometimes. Occasionally. When he really loses his temper and gets hot under the collar. He’ll say something slightly passive aggressive out loud instead of keeping it contained inside his head. And qui-gon still can’t handle that gracefully AT ALL he snaps right back fdjskfhas. (I guess he also snitches on qui-gon to the council but well, you know, qui-gon was breaking republic law pretty brazenly at that point I think that moves beyond teenage angst and into ‘...master that’s a wholeass felony’ territory). Obi-Wan does go for a couple of low blows, but like. Nothing that’s not actually true, is the thing. And mostly he blames himself for not being good enough, because surely if he were qui gon wouldn’t treat him like this. Augh. hngh. Pain. suffering.

- I am not one of the people who think everything would have automatically been just hunky-dory if only qui-gon lived and could have been anakin's master (in fact I would have given it a 50/50 chance of going exponentially worse way faster; being more similar as people is not always a guarantee that a relationship will go smoother and qui-gon is an incredibly difficult man to be close to for any length of time), but the way this book basically presents how the dynamic between dooku, rael and qui-gon could have gone on in the next generation too... it would have been incredibly unfair to obi-wan (as always I think that's just an universal constant lmao) but I think the odds of it turning out okay would have been better if you had him in the mix to run crisis control for both qui-gon and anakin, as he does for each of them individually as best he can anyway. at least he could have been free to be anakin's brother and friend purely in that scenario, without all the added mess of grief and having to take on a parental role there so young. he does basically fill that role in ahsoka's apprenticeship, after all.

- qui-gon finally hugging rael before he leaves the planet (and especially since when they were younger he wanted to, but held himself back from it)... that's still his big brother even with all the shit that's happened since ;_____; when someone teaches you how to swim (literally and symbolically) that shit stays with you I suppose

Relatedly: DOOKU getting hugged, and gladly. What the fuck. Are you all seeing this shit. I’m gonna cry or laugh I’m not sure which one why am I emotionally invested in the galaxy's most problematic grandpa now this sucks

#and that's the power of star wars baybey #star wars #master and apprentice #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jin #rael averross #count dooku #star wars meta

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andhumanslovedstories · 9 months

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sorry if you’ve answered this before, but what made you go into nursing?

In 2016 Donald Trump got elected, which was not what I was expecting to happen and a bit of a disappointment, to put it very very lightly. I was 25 and basically been bumming around my parents' house working as a barista when me and Cyrus weren't traveling and living in a van. We had plans for the future, but they were more "where do we wanna live" rather than "what do you wanna do?" Once he got elected, it didn't feel right sticking to the same plan. I felt I had to do something different with my life, something that mattered and helped people and offset the harm that would come and that had already come.

So I thought about the stuff that I valued most (having a job that helps people, having a concrete positive effect and being able to see it, maintaining access to care, reproductive health, advocating for people who aren't in a position to effectively advocate for themselves, intersectional feminism), and I thought about the stuff that has always interested me intellectually (public health, narratives of caregiving and illness, the history of the AIDS epidemic, people I don't know anything about, how people behave in extraordinary moments, my mom and aunt's nursing stories), and I thought about a bunch of practical concerns (didn't want to take work home with me, good paycheck, good job security, a lot of different uses from one degree, I'd be able to get my nursing degree in an accelerated second degree program for very cheap if I arranged things right*, worst case scenario it would give me something to write about).

It also matters a lot that my mom is a nurse and so fucking passionate about nursing, and that I admire my mom tremendously. Meanwhile my aunt, who I also admire, was an ESL teacher in an underfunded district, and I saw how passionate she was as well, and I saw how much work she took home every night and weekend and how much of her personal money she poured into her work. Seeing the life of teachers up close eliminated teaching as a career course. So nursing made the most sense. I was in community college taking my pre-reqs by the time Trump was sworn into office.

I did home health nursing because that's what I could get hired for as a new grad, and now I do bedside hospital nursing because it pays more, it's easier to get time off, I get to talk to other people, and it gives me a lot of skills I can take to wherever I go to next. I've been a nurse now longer than I was in school to become a nurse, which was one of my most basic career goals, and I have a lovely apartment, and don't worry too much about day-to-day finances, and when I come home from work I'm usually proud of what I've done that day. And best of all, it's literally impossible for me to do my job from home. They can't make me. The patients aren't in my lovely apartment. On the whole, I'm very satisfied with how all this has been working out.

(*I'm very sorry to say the circumstances which allowed me to do this are basically unrepeatable for the layperson and rely heavily on your mother being a nursing school instructor, and your family being willing and able to support you as you completely cease making money so you can become a legal dependent again and be eligible for your parent's tuition reimbursement. I can offer no advice here, just gratitude to my parents for helping me out so much.)

#nursing tag #sorry long answer i'm putting off writing an email

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petite-gloom · 8 months

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Does it bother you that you still live at home with a parent? I don’t think there is anything wrong with it personally especially in today’s climate, and also if you need support. But if you could financially afford it would you live alone?

it doesn’t bother me in the sense of “im 26 and some parts of society dictate that i should be fully independent and living away from home” but i do crave a little more independence than i have, sometimes i crave a quieter space, but most of all i just really wish i had a space that was my own. i want to choose paint swatches and crockery and kitchen appliances. i want a shelf in the bathroom for my skincare. i want separate spaces for sleeping and working. i want room for more than one small bookcase and somewhere proper to store my vinyls.

i’m grateful to be living with my dad because we’re very close and i can’t afford to live alone. previous to this i was literally living with the parent who’s my abuser so i’ve already lived the uncomfortable worst case scenario of being “trapped” in a family home that’s toxic in ways incompatible with life. im very grateful to have had the opportunity to run away and live with my dad. i just wish that at 26 i would be able to start building my own little life. i wish at 49 my dad wasn’t still trapped renting a house that’s too small for us both to live in. in some ways i feel like my growth as a person is stunted, and i worry that he feels similarly. we’re both very creative, independent, and introverted (autistic) people and we’re desperate for some more breathing room, for room to express ourselves and explore our hobbies. we don’t have room for any of that right now.

my frustration isn’t with living at home or living with my dad because i truthfully can’t even imagine living more than a short walk away from him, my frustration is with the housing crisis, the cost of living, how everything seems to be rigged against people who only have a single income rather than a joint, and about how renting so often leaves people trapped and unable to save enough money to get a foot on the housing ladder because they’re paying more in rent than they ever would be for a mortgage.

does that make sense? i have a lot of feelings about it

#it’s a sensitive subject #in case that isn’t obvious #delete later

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angstysebfan · 11 months

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You Matter To Me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: This is based on the song “You Matter To Me” from Waitress the Musical. It’s not a replica of what happens in the play, but the words in the song. Song lyrics are in italics. Warnings: Slight Angst, Sad Lonely Reader, Fluff

A/N: I’ve wanted to rewrite this fic for awhile. The story is the same, but I didn’t like how I did it the first time. I hope you all enjoy it even more than before. Please know that my stories were no beta’d or edited, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes or misspellings. Also please note again I am rewriting most if not all of my masterlist, so if you read my stories, be prepared cause most of them are going to be fixed if they haven’t already lol.

I can find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They see things you never quite say, but I hear Come out of hiding, I’m right here beside you and I’ll stay there as long as you let me

You’re in your living room of your small one bedroom apartment, slow dancing with him. He holds you close and sings softly into your ear as you release a sigh of contentment. You never in a million years thought that you could ever find the happiness you’re currently engulfed in. People assume that being the only child of the rich and famous (your dads name), your life is set and happiness is a given. You know for a fact that it's not true, as you purposely ran away from the "rich kid" life the moment you were able to.

Your parents always treated more like a burden then their child. You were practically raised by nannies because they didn't want to give up the partying lifestyle. They never once celebrated the day you were born, always going out with friends on trips or something instead. When they were home, you were never allowed to make any noise or be a normal kid because they considered that a disturbance.

As you got older, you started to resent your life. Any "friends" you made didn't really care about you at all. They wanted to be seen with the daughter of the famous Y/F/N, the richest man in the country. They knew if the paparazzi saw them with you, they would be on Page Six and be set. You never wanted to be the center of attention. It never interested you, but you also didn't want to be used. You found yourself feeling very lonely all the time, even in a crowded room.

Eventually, when you were old enough, you ran away from that life. You wanted as much separation as possible. Your parents wouldn't care anyway, so you didn't move far. You found yourself in the middle of Brooklyn working as a waitress as a small diner. It didn't pay much, but it helped you afford your tiny shoebox apartment that you loved and food. You felt like you were finally free and happy. You started going out more, and even made some real friends who liked you for your personality, rather your wealth, since you no longer had any.

Once night you were out with some friends and were sitting at a bar. Nursing your cranberry vodka, you kept thinking how much your life has improved, and how much happier you were without your parents money. You suddenly saw someone sit next to you and you looked over with a smile. You would lie if you said he wasn't the most handsome man you have ever seen. He had short brown hair, the bluest eyes imaginable, and a strong jawline partially hidden under some scruff. When he looked at you and smiled, your heart immediately fluttered.

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too I promise you do, you’ll see You matter to me

You found yourself falling into easy conversation with the handsome man, whose name was Bucky. You learned he was a mechanic who lived in the same neighborhood as you, and that he grew up in Brooklyn to middle class parents and knew the value of hard work. It was refreshing to say the least. Listening to how his parents supported him and his siblings with their aspirations and dreams, no matter what they were. You were jealous, because your parents couldn't give a damn about you. Hell they never even tried to find you when you left. Bucky tried to ask about your life, but you weren't ready to hash that out, so you just quickly changed the subject. He smiled and decided to go with it.

You and Bucky start to hangout more often and you find yourself falling... hard. He would take you on little dates around Brooklyn, and you both would stay out late just talking about things. You wanted to tell him about your past, but you were scared it would scare him away. When he wanted to treat you to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan that you know your parents frequent, you immediately decline. You felt it was time to finally tell him the truth about yourself. Bucky sat with you, holding your hand as you told him all about your upbringing and your thoughts and feelings about your parents. You were in awe when you were done he pulled you to him and kissed you.

"I can't imagine how hard that much have been for you," he said with no sarcasm.

You then and there that he actually cared about you and your feelings. He didn't think you were some spoiled brat that didn't get enough attention. He knew money was not important to you, and that all you've ever longed for was to be loved. He wanted to be the one to show you the love you've always deserved, and hopefully you can let him in. And maybe love him just as much in return.

It’s addictive the minute you let yourself think The things that I say, just might matter to someone, All of this time I’ve been keeping my mind on the running away For the first time I think I’d consider the stay.

At first you were worried when Bucky asked you to move in with him. Yes, you had been dating for over a year, and yes you cared for him with ever fiber of your being, but you still had hesitations when he said it back. You kept telling yourself he really loved you and to let him in, but it was harder to do than you realized. Bucky was always patient and understanding. He allowed you to take your time and really think about it with no pressure. But you wanted to let him in so bad. He's been so good to you, so you finally agree to move in.

It took some time for you to get used to Bucky constantly wanting to take care of you. You've always taken care of yourself, so to have him wanting to do that was surprising. He constantly tells you how much you mean to him, but you still find it hard to believe sometimes. He buys you flowers every week, takes you on small romantic trips, and cooks you dinners. Your walls slowly start crumbling little by little as you let him in, because you know you are as much in love with him, as he seems to be with you. Every day when you come home from work, he asks about your day, and generally cares. He pays attention to every word you say, he laughs at jokes you make, gets irritated when hearing about stupid customers, or holds you as you cry after a hard frustrating day. He's there every time you need him, and even when you don’t.

You are there for him just as much, knowing that a true relationship means you both have to give the same amount. As time goes on, your walls around your heart are gone, and you've completely given your heart to Bucky. He and his family have welcomed you with open arms, and you never felt as loved and accepted as you do with him. When he dropped to one knee to ask you to be his wife, you didn't hesitate for a second before saying yes, because there was no other answer.

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too I promise you do, you’ll see You matter to me

You look up at your fiancee and smile before giving him a soft kiss. You then look at the small diamond on your finger with so much happiness. Bucky apologized it wasn't bigger, but you told him, and you meant it, that you wouldn't want anything more than what he has given you. Your life is perfect as long as you have him, and are in his arms. Bucky was everything you didn’t know you needed in your life.

For the first time, you feel loved and cherished. You feel like you finally matter to someone. Not just someone, Bucky Barnes, the man you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with.

Bucky is so fucking amazing in this story. I love him so much! Feedback is appreciated! Also if you wish to be apart of my new taglist, please let me know.

Permanent Taglist: @rebekahdawkins @marajade1974 @missvelvetsstuff @phillygirl77 @pattiemac1 @winterslove1917 @vampire7595

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #Bucky angst #bucky and reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #slight angst #fluff #you matter to me

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ponytailzuko · 2 months

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writing down my overall thoughts on the live action

first of all, i walked into my step dad watching it of his own free will - and then me and my entire family sat down to watch it. both my step dad and mom had never seen the cartoon in their life, so this was a first time viewing for them. they enjoyed it. my mom even asked where season 2 was. so i think the live action served its main purpose - get new people who haven't watched or wouldn't have watched the cartoon into the franchise. they did it! yippee.

anyways, my own thoughts have an inherent bias due to having seen and loved the cartoon. i believe my parents when they say that from their perspective, it holds up on its own. obviously, i don't think it was ever going to be better than the cartoon, but wanted to write my opinions what i liked, changes i enjoyed and changes i didn't, etc.

putting it under a read more because this sucker is long:

i don't know anything about film making - set design, props, fashion, cgi, etc. nothing particularly stood out to me in a way that ruined the show, and i only really pay attention to it when it serves the story. so i'm just not going to comment on it for the most part. most of this is about writing choices i liked or disliked. anyways here we go.

the good:

aang was a highlight for me. i know some people have problems with moving his backstory to the very beginning of the story, but i liked it. it immediately made me get in aang's shoes and feel his connection with his people, his home, and gyatso - and made it very easy to connect with his grief when he woke up from the iceberg. live action really emphasizes the last airbender part of the title throughout, and how aang feels isolated in his duty as the avatar, as the last airbender preserving his culture, and by being from another world - lost in time.

i liked how he sought out his past lives so often. really makes him feel like a child who doesn't know what he's doing and had the rug pulled out from under him by losing gyatso too soon. he's looking for adult guidance, and kyoshi, roku, and kuruk are all there telling aang THEIR version of how to be the avatar. feels like good set up for later when aang gets to define HIS version of the avatar, and how he wants to bring peace to the world. we already see it with their versions of the avatar feeding into aang's feelings of guilt and self-isolation - that he needs to do things on his own. it gets concluded with katara and sokka declaring him family, and they won't leave no matter what.

in that nature: adding more emphasis on katara's grief as well, since it was APPARENTLY not enough for people watching the cartoon and called her whiny for mentioning it. in general, it feels weird that katara's flashback to her backstory happened in season 3 of the cartoon when there was a whole episode dedicated to aang and zuko's backstory all the way in season 1, another one for zuko's backstory in season 2, and then bato of the water tribe elaborated on sokka being left by hakoda. glad to get katara backstory earlier. love you katara <3

and from that: sokka and katara's conflict being about if she should waterbend. feels very natural and something they would fight over. it is a vital aspect to their culture, but also if word gets out there is a waterbender in the village, there could be another raid.

aang stealing zuko's notebook is another highlight. it is both such a petty kid thing to steal and be upset about someone reading your diary, but also it actually serves a purpose in giving aang a guide for his avatar journey. the show sacrificed paralleling aang and zuko's backstories like the storm, but they still intertwine aang and zuko's story through this notebook and the connection aang makes with zuko through it. very sweet.

in that note: the set design adding little things such as those little statues in zuko's room. feels like it really was lived in by someone obsessed with finding the avatar for 3 years. i really liked details like that they put throughout the show

suki extrapolation with her mother and her conflict of being duty-bound to her village but wanting to see the world, and how this relates to sokka. made me genuinely invested in their relationship in a way i wasn't from the cartoon. i also loved the actress' portrayal of suki, she's so awkward and i love it. need to see more of her.

iroh in season 1 of the cartoon feels less like his own fleshed out character and more of a comedic relief expansion of zuko's b plot. he's made to make zuko's slice of the show more fit for a fun kids show by giving him someone to talk to and be funny with. he's a fun tea-loving uncle, but it's hard to parse what he really feels until later. live action iroh keeps that fun tea-loving aspect, but he has his own baggage and its GREAT. i think i genuinely enjoyed live action iroh more than the cartoon. he has so much more growing to do. could talk about this version of iroh (and his relationship with zuko) forever. i need season 2 just for him.

iroh and aang's prison arc together.

making zuko's crew have issues with him earlier and making them 41st division was nice. i really liked that change.

secret tunnel with familial love between katara and sokka was so cute. enjoyed it.

the ???:

azula and ozai's addition is a 50/50 to me. i think the sick power plays ozai is doing between his two children are genuinely interesting. the change in how ozai doles out praise and the dynamics between azula and zuko is also interesting and i enjoyed it. but i also find their screen time unnecessary. could be used to further the dynamic between the main protagonists, or they could be saved for season 2 or 3. did like how azula used zhao to thwart zuko and it fucked zuko up immensely in the head. very nice. also not sure how i feel about azula being good at archery, feels like getting good at a nonbending discipline isn't something that meshes well with her character for me, but that's a nitpick.

combining plotlines such as jet and the mechanist in omashu + the change with bumi was... fine? it served its purpose. liked some aspects and didn't like others.

the spirit world stuff was really cool and i enjoyed how koh preys on people lost in the fog. very interesting concepts that got us to be able to experience katara and sokka's backstory first hand. felt immersive to me. but also wtf, wan shi tong? katara and sokka being gone from the plot for so long? come backkkkkk! COME BACK! DO WE HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO BE IN SPIRIT JAIL WHEN I HAVEN"T SEEN YOU GUYS INTERACT ENOUGH? i did like yue being in the spirit world and interacting with sokka. that was cute as hell.

northern water tribe and yuekka had parts i liked and parts i didn't. they kept the sexism and arranged marriage but also yue opted out? feels detrimental to yue and sokka's relationship and how they connect to each other out of their sense of duty. did really like hahn being nice, it would have been really interesting to see how yue felt stifled with an arranged marriage even if hahn was perfect. also liked yue being able to waterbend and the little scene with yue and sokka making dessert, so cute. yue freezing sokka to the ground before sacrificing herself.... didn't like that. wish they let sokka let her go, understanding it was her choice.

katara in the nwt as well. katara fighting master pakku and losing, but everyone watching thought she was SO COOL. loved the guy asking how she did the ice disks and she has to teach him. but confused on the fact that pakku doesn't take her as a student, and we don't see her being taught but people still refer to her as a master. i'm going to assume she learned waterbending by learning from her fanclub and also teaching them her moves.

why did they almost kill momo?

the bad:

everyone and their mother has said the exposition is bad so i won't hammer it home too much. this isn't actually much of a problem for me because it was actually necessary to get the point home to my mom who was watching it for the first time. i was also told that screen test audiences asked for the exposition to be added in the first episode after production, so i don't have much to say there.

aang's decision to leave home not being running away but due to the fact that he was stepping out to get a breather. this felt like a weird change to me, since the rest of the show hammers in about aang running away from his problems and his duties in a way the cartoon doesn't. would have felt WAY more heartwrenching to see the temples under attack while aang runs away from being the avatar and it would have hit harder when gyatso tells aang to let go of that guilt and pain... that it wasn't his fault. it was harder to feel the root of aang's guilt when i know that he didn't even plan to leave for very long. alas!

continuing from that point about aang's attribute of 'running away': lack of episodic plotlines. everyone and their mother has also hammered home about the lack of them from cartoon. i don't actually hate the change, but i do think it does some disservice to aang's character that they didn't adjust for. i'm being told that aang runs away, but i haven't been shown aang doing so. i've been seeing aang do his duty as the avatar and research it every episode. give me a reason to believe why this is a character flaw that aang needs to face.

similarly, i think this does a detriment to katara's role in book 1. since aang is more focused on what he needs to do as the avatar, katara becomes more his partner in finding out more about what it means to be the avatar instead of pushing him to be more motivated into doing so. (ex: 'we need to continue on our journey and not stay on kyoshi island' or 'we need to help haru in this village')

aang, katara, and sokka get separate plotlines so much that they don't feel like a solid dynamic. again, detriment of the lack of the smaller episodic plots. does make more sense that katara says aang is family at the end of season 1 instead of the beginning for this reason, though.

katara feels like one of the weakest aspects of the show to me. katara doesn't get the narration. katara isn't the first thing when aang gets out of the ice. and katara's rage just feels lost. i think a simple script or direction change in ep 1-2 to make katara's actress play her with more of that rage during her arguments with sokka would've worked wonders. katara has this feeling of anger at injustice that motivates her throughout the cartoon and i don't feel it here. also miss some of her sass - katara should've hit aang in the head with an acorn.

sokka's weird engineer arc? he's a warrior. why are you saying it's okay to not be a warrior when he is - what is up with setting up sokka as a disappointment to hakoda? HELLO? DOES ANYONE HEAR ME? i'm confused where they're going with this, please tell me that sokka has misinterpreted and created that memory due to insecurity. this is where my bias is totally coming in. this worked fine for my parents who hadn't ever seen it. BUT WHERE ARE THEY HEADING WITH THIS?

kinda wish information about zuko's situation was dropped more subtly throughout instead of zuko being like "my father banished me and i need the avatar to get back" like episode 1. like ok give me a moment to just be like "ugh this zuko kid is a fucking BITCH" before i have to feel for him, damn.

also zuko going straight to barbecuing feels weird to his character when they're also trying to tell us that zuko's capable of kindness and also has a strict honor code? zuko is against using bounty hunters in a way he's not in the cartoon. he talks down on the terrorism in omashu since its not 'honorable', but he also was about to burn katara who was down on the ground. of course, realistically if you're throwing fire around, you are going to burn people. but there was a suspension of disbelief in the animated version that isn't in the live action. zuko does things such as immediately resorting to fire instead of hand to hand in his fight with sokka. in the live action, i'd expect zuko to use MORE hand to hand in comparison to fire, not less. plus the fact they took out moments such as zuko not burning zhao in the agni kai or holding his hand out to save him during the north. weird dissonance at points with his character for me.

#cal.ibrations #i wrote an essay but . yeah.#might add or change my mind about some of this idk but for the most part these are what stuck out. YIPPEE!#i love hearing other ppls thoughts and reading what people say so i thought id put mine out there heehee

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writingforatwistedworld · 1 year

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Okay okay request tiem!! So like, first of all, hope you're doing well fjkebd-- second of all, how would vil, jamil and idia react to a mc in the self aware au (already in their universe) drawing and or painting them, telling the constant compliment over how pretty or nice they are to draw, doodle them in their notebooks when taking notes and so on.

Idk it's like a thing I do with my friends, so I wanna know what they'd do n all, fbnebd thank u!! <3<3<3<3<3

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, murder, stalking, obsession, unhealthy relationship, manipulation, isolation

Jamil Viper/Vil Schoenheit/Idia Shroud-Player draws and constantly tells them compliments

Ok, so we are throwing away our independance today (not something I would recommend but you do you)

Jamil is used to stand in the shadow of Kalim, heck, even his own parents thought that the future sultan was more important than their son

When you were suddenly standing in front of him he was already shoked enough, almost dropping the tray filled with food for his employer

Let us just say that Scarabia is in constant danger of going up in flames after that

Oh why? Well he just, more or less, quit without handing in the piece of paper that usually says “Mhm sorry bro but I’m leaving. The pay was never good tbh”

Yes, he is still employed but the person he is serving in truth is you, leaving Kalim alone with the stove

And since most of the people reading this probably don’t have a butler we are of course impressed by his skills

No wonder Al-Asim can’t do stuff on his own, Jamil is spoiling you into dependance!

So what do you do when you are impressed? You compliment whoever had that affect on you

That is already bad enough in itself but now you are also drawing him? Doodeling him into your notebooks? (He defenitely checks them)

Did you want him to be your 24/7 caretaker who takes your freedom away or what?

Somehow it is possible that those actions are making him even more focused on taking care of you

Has defenitely taken one of the paintings and hid it just for him to see

But please lay the mop down. He is here to take care of the dorm and you just need to live a comfortable life

What do you mean he does everything? Just rely on him and don’t meet with others, they just get your clothes dirty and make scratches in the freshly waxed floor boards

Also, isn’t he here? Why would you need anyone else? Uh… sorry there is something in his eyes. Could you take a look?

Vil is pretty used to compliments and also has defenitley gotten fanart before

But if it’s you? The hecking Mona Lisa in his eyes

So how did he get close enough to you to recieve such things?

Two words, one meaning: overall care

Like this man is polishing you like his life depends on it

It’s already bad enough that you are living in that dirty place but you can’t even afford simple self care! (We ignore for now that his defenition of “simple” is worth the rent of an ordinary person)

But the man wants- no, is determined to scrub the dust of the ruin away and uncover the shining diamond under all that filth

And since we all are bound by social beauty standarts (and don’t want skin deseases connected to dirt) we are (most likely) very thankful for his hard work

So one day he came into your room, a bottle of hand lotion in his perfectly manicured clutches, and ran straight into your mirror

Oh you are curious why? Well you just threw a compliment and “thanks” at his head

But it’s probably you more freaked out because whilst he did get a scratch on his face he didn’t even care

Once you start do NOT stop!

If you do he will think that you have found someone else whom you consider better company

And remember that huge green house they have? There is probably something in there capable to make you… uh… “stay close to him”

Also, those third years you have asked for the way to your next classroom have been found “with their red paint outside their bodies” and their hearts missing, suspicious arrows sticking out of them

But what did you expect? The Fairest Queen was also pretty possessive of her status as the “most beautiful” and what is there to stop him in following her footsteps? Just maybe not with beauty…

So either you wanted to roast marmellows in a very extreme way or you wanted to burn the whole building down

But here he is, probably already having reached the melting point of stone and still staring at you

Are you seriously suprised? This is Idia we are talking about

You are a God to Idia, a flawed one but still higher than even Hades… that guy is literally death

And he also thinks that he is very unattractive so you might as well tell Lilia to leave his iron sticks away unless he wants to rshape them

How are you still alive standing in thnis heat??!

It is already hard enough to just get in contact with him but somehow you did

Idia is not used to get paintings drawn of him and only Ortho would be able to convince him to get a picture done of him

But now here you are, telling him that you admire his skills with electronics

I hope you brought your marmellows because I forgot mine at home

When he was just creepely looking at you from time to time then say goodbye to privacy after this

You see, strays also come back to you if you fed them once and Idia is just as starved for attention as a stray is for food

But what exactly is he supposed to do? Well…

You remember that phone Crowley gave us over the winter holidays? He never took that one back

Even though Idia knows he shouldn’t do this and feels bad he just can’t stop

Stop looking at you, stop watchig you, stop craving the warmth you gave him on that fatefull day

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sourbinnie · 11 months

Text

title -> how i hate those guys! genre -> angst + college au pair -> hyunjin x gn!reader warnings -> reader wears makeup + smoking + cursing + hyunjin being a hyunmean words -> 3705 lowercase intended a/n: this is longer than i usually write, anyways yunjin best friend ever, that's it.

this what makes us girls we all look for heaven and we put love first something that we'd die for, it's a curse don't cry about it, don't cry about it this is what makes us girls we don't stick together 'cause we put love first don't cry about him, don't cry about him it's all gonna happen

this is what makes us girls / lana del rey

"if he's here, i'll probably die." i said as i looked down. trying my best to fix my outfit and my hair as we walked down the street at night, not the best choice but none of us had a car and we were not taking public transport for a few blocks.

"you know he is! stop being so nervous, it's gonna be fine." yunjin responded as she took my hand and i just sighed. we have been friends for over 2 years and yet i still felt like i was too little for her. she was just a dream, the it girl kinda type, she didn't have to make the effort to look pretty, she just was. while i was here with an outfit that her and chaewon picked, with makeup that they wanted me to wear and i tried my best to fit in this whole atmosphere.

it was a house party, a big one. one of my classmates held it and i didn't even know he had this much money to be hosting something so grand, it definitely made me feel insecure that i was still living with my parents and struggling to keep a job and paying a private university which was prestigious but also had the reputation for everyone being a "show off". i never considered myself the fancy type either but i really wanted to get my degree and to make my parents proud and in the third year, here i was trying my best to survive. i met yunjin and chaewon when i first started, i hit it off with both of them because we were kinda lost in the whole college deal and being beginners felt weird. it took a group project and us sitting close to each other for us to actually start talking and become friends but it was worth it.

some people say that college is nothing like high school which i agree. but then i look at the people, how they act and how they show off themselves. i can't help but get flashbacks to secondary school life. just now everyone's an adult and semi conscious of their actions.

when we arrived, the music was gonna make me deaf. it was so loud and the place was packed, like it was a big house for sure but i did not understand how many people they invited. i was guessing it would be just the people that this guy knew but apparently i didn't know anything about parties. the word spread from mouth to mouth as more people found out about what was happening today. getting in was already a disaster with the heavy clouds of smoke that some guys were blowing in the front lawn. yunjin grabbed my hand and decided to get me in as chaewon went looking for sakura in the backyard. the neon lights were fluorescent as i took in the atmosphere that surrounded me and trying to see familiar faces so i felt less alone. i barely knew people here to be fair, the only one who stood out to me was san who i've done a couple of projects with and he was hanging out with wooyoung who i've seen around campus (he's loud, impossible not to notice him). he waved at me and i waved back slightly as i kept on walking with yunjin. i didn't know what she was looking for exactly, probably one of her million friends. it was like she knew the whole college, she definitely became the most popular out of our friend group and i might not be as popular but i did have a "reputation" because i was by her side.

"okay (y/n), there he is." yunjin said to me and i looked at her confused but then i saw who she was pointing at and immediately grabbed her arm for her to put it down. she just laughed at my actions and sighed, as i took in the scene again. hwang hyunjin was right there with his group of friends and he looked bored out of his mind. i never took in to be a party kinda guy but i knew that his friends changbin and jisung were a bit wild. he was probably the prettiest boy i've ever seen, most handsome one for sure. he just had a beauty that i could not describe with words and he was following the same career that i was, we were in almost every class together and saw each other almost every day but i'm pretty sure he had no idea i even existed.

"what the hell am i supposed to do with that information? it's not like i can go and walk over to him yun!" i said and she just smiled, i knew she found it cute when i was nervous. i couldn't focus on anything but him and this happened quite a lot because i would just stare as mesmerized as i could get. and if he did know i existed, it's not like he would look my way. "can we go find chae and kura?" i said and she just looked at me with her big puppy eyes.

"come onnn, this is your chance to shine! we're not in college, you both have something in common and also he's all alone right now!" she said and she did have a point. but i could not even have a conversation with a stranger, let alone with my crush! what the hell was i gonna say?. "he's looking in our direction right now." she said and i panicked.

he was indeed looking and as yunjin pretended that she was looking somewhere else, i held eye contact with him and he actually fucking smiled. if i didn't pass out right then & there than i don't know how i was gonna survive this night. he signaled me to come over since his friends were somewhere else and i just mouthed "me?" which caused him to nod. it took a slight push from yunjin as she waved me goodbye for me to go where hyunjin was. shaky legs and everything i made through the crowd and to him. his jacket hanging on his shoulders, his necklace on his neck and his earrings were gonna make me lose it but i stayed calm and spoke up.

"hi, why did you want me to come over?" i said as best as i could 'cause the noise was still loud as hell and the people chatting just made it worse. drunkenness all around but i didn't drink so i could stay sober while talking to hyunjin, good move i know.

"it's rude to stare at me like that you know? i've seen you doing it during class too." he said laughing and i wanted to die right there, bury me i don't care. of course he was gonna notice that i do that like a psychopath.

"i'm sorry, i don't know why i do that at all." i said and i did know but i was gonna keep it to myself because the worst thing i could say right now is that i had a crush on him for like a year already. "i will go now! have a nice night".

"stay please, it's not like we both have company right now and our friends well-" he said as he pointed out the window and i saw his friends jumping in the pool and mine hanging out with a bunch of girls that i didn't know at all. it was hard to feel included but i tried to see the good side and that was that they considered me a part of the group. "(y/l/n) (y/n) right?".

"yeah! we share... a lot of classes together." i said as he offered me his drink. "oh no thanks! i don't drink." he then nodded as he put it down and sat down on the floor since every seat was taken and again did the signal with his hand. i sat down next to him and even in the nighttime, with all the purple and red lights, i could not stop admiring him. i was still in a state of shock that he was even talking to me but i tried to let it go.

"you love staring don't you?" he said and i just looked back down again as i blushed. i could feel the heat rush up to my cheeks and the air getting heavier from the amount of people that were in the house at that moment. "i don't mind though but let me stare at you too."

"okay?" i said and so we did. we stared at each other for quite a while as his eyes met my features like he was studying every single one of them. he smiled at me and i couldn't help but smile back as his hand met my crimson red cheek and slowly traced patterns with his fingers on it. he placed a kiss on my chin and i took it in like i was high. i didn't know how i would feel if i actually got a kiss from him but i would take in every moment that i could if i could only feel him.

he then leaned in closer to my ear and whispered.

"let's get out of here okay?"

i just nodded and he grabbed my hand as he took me outside, everyone in the crowd moved like they were in his control. as soon as i felt the cold air breeze, his hands were on my waist and he kissed me. it was so deep and so majestic that i almost lost balance but he grabbed me. i followed his pattern as his lips and mine moved to a slow rhythm but it was perfect. i could not ask for a better first kiss with hyunjin.

"been wanting to do that for so long now." he said and i just smiled as i was completely enamored by him and his words.

"why didn't you?" i said and that's when he smiled.

"just seeing you today gave me the last push i needed to do it."

✉ ✉ ✉

when i got back home, i immediately got a message from yunjin. i was so tired but all the excitement and the energy i was feeling in my chest was driving me on to answer it. i also got hyunjin's number which after what happened shouldn't be that surprising but it was. i still couldn't believe he noticed me and that he did all of that. he made ! a ! move ! on ! me ! and i gotta thank yunjin for that.

yunjinnie❤ OH GOD I SAW IT I WAS EXPECTING FOR A CONVERSATION NOT FOR YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE HELL (Y/N) YOU BETTER THANK ME

i couldn't help but laugh at the eagerness and then feel completely embarrassed by my actions. of course everyone saw us and in the moment i didn't care. but then i saw the pics that chaewon kept sending me and yep, there we were. his hands around my waist, mine on his chest as he kissed me. he lead it on and on as i followed every move and i could still feel his lips when i touched mine. it was such a sweet feeling to be wanted by the one you wanted all along but it still felt unreal.

i answered every single message i was getting from my friends but then i saw him message me.

hyunjin ♡ can't wait to see you this week had so much fun tonight take care (y/n) and have a lovely night

i held back my teenage girl scream as i didn't wanna wake up my parents but oh god that make a thousand butterflies explode in my stomach. i couldn't even sleep, i was just thinking the night through back & forth. repeating the events like film scenes. but this was my reality and it was all changing so quickly.

✉ ✉ ✉

i felt the weekend end quickly and monday to start so abruptly. i walked to class with chaewon and i could feel the stares right on me, i didn't know how to act around it but i tried my best to ignore it and to keep going. as always chae would sit with sakura and i would sit with yunjin but today she called in sick. what i did not expect was for hyunjin to sit next to me and greet me with his signature smile.

"hey, i hope you don't mind me taking this seat." he said and i shook my head as i saw him once again. his hair was combed back, shining platinum blonde as he left his bag on the floor and his eyes were on me again. again the analyzing kinda phase was never going to stop as we looked at each other and our hands met under the table. intertwining fingers as i bit my lip 'cause he still really made me nervous. "i hope your weekend was good and that you get used to this because like i said... i really wanted to do what i did that night."

the class started and i could not answer him. but from the stares he kept on giving me, i know he already knew my answer and how i was feeling more comfortable than ever with him. chae and kura kept on laughing behind me but i didn't care because i was again so enamored by the feeling that i was being given a chance to be with the one i wanted for so long.

my next class wasn't with hyunjin but that still didn't stop him from texting me all the way through. that also didn't stop the staring or the whispering that could be heard when they saw me. i heard the word "hyunjin's toy" and it made me shiver 'cause i didn't wanna doubt everything but it felt like things were going too well and in my favor to not be doubting that something bad could happen.

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an entire month of me and hyunjin going back and forth. from kissing in the courtyard to painting together to listening to playlists we made for each other. it was safe to say that it wasn't a crush anymore, it was much more. i didn't want to let myself fall for a guy that didn't ask me on a date yet but from his actions it was safe to say he felt the same way right?

yunjin said she felt like i was drifting away from them to spend time with hyunjin. i mean it could easily be true but this is what they wanted me to do all along wasn't it? to be finally with the guy i liked. they should be happy for me instead of holding me back like they were doing. i felt myself take a step back and look at my friendship and my "relationship" (if you could call it that). i didn't know what to pick or where to even start because i liked what i had with hyunjin but i felt like it wasn't enough and my friends seemed to be taking steps away from me too, it just didn't feel like i belonged anywhere.

i found myself on the phone with yunjin as we tried to settle down on what we wanted. i didn't want to cry but the tears were already threatening to spill out of my eyes.

"look, i just want you to be careful because this is your first serious relationship (y/n) and you're spending a lot of time with him." she said and she had a point but i still felt like she wasn't happy for me and i couldn't put my finger around why she didn't feel the same way i did.

"i just, i don't know! why are you saying this to me? i wanna be with him and have you as my friend!" i exclaimed, getting tired of the going round and round. "why aren't you happy for me jinnie?" i said with a broken voice and hoping for a clear answer.

"because there's just something weird going around him & you okay? i don't know what it is but i feel like you need to take a step back." she said and if i didn't think it was bullshit before, it was definitely now. she couldn't even say what was wrong, it was just a feeling that she had.

"is it? or are you just jealous that my relationship is working out?" i asked and i could feel her gasp and get up as she tried to process what i just said. it took me time to process why i went there but it felt like i had to.

"oh that's where you're gonna go? jealousy? of you and him? when he hasn't even asked you to be his significant other properly?" she backfired when it was a low blow but nothing hurt more than to fight with who i thought was my friend. "i don't know why you said but we can work it out okay? i just want you to be careful, that's all."

"and i just want you to stay out of my business! who do you think you are to have a say in who i'm da- seeing?" i had to cut myself off before i said dating because i wasn't.

"okay fine. i'll leave you the fuck alone, don't come crawling back when he fucking hurts you." she said and hanged up. that's it wasn't it? i just lost my best friend.

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hyunjin could tell something was wrong with me but i did not let it go through as the days passed and i still waited for yunjin to call me. to say it was just a prank, to remind me that we were friends till the end of time but nothing happened. instead i drowned my pain with making out with my "boyfriend" and hoping everything would heal as time went on (even though it wouldn't). i just wanted a world where i could have both my friends and the guy i liked, why was that so much to ask for?

"baby look at me." he said and i did, there was concern in his eyes. i've never seen that look on him before so i stopped and hoped he would explain what was happening with him. "i don't even know where to start."

"what? did something happen?" i asked curiously but he just shook his head to then grab my hands and sigh. "just say it babe."

"i lied okay?"

i felt my heart stop right then and there. i didn't know exactly what he was talking about but it felt like the air suddenly got heavy like that night again yet it was only the two of us in his room. i had the worst feeling about this.

"when i told you to approach me at the party." he took a deep breath and exhaled as i tried my best to keep my composure and not lose it right then and there. "it was because... changbin made a bet where i had to make someone fall in love with me before the month is over and then ask them out and-".

"oh my god." i mumbled as i tried to process every word like it didn't sting in my heart. i felt everything get cloudy in a second as everything that i just lived for the past month was a fucking lie. a cruel one.

"listen i didn't think that i would fall and i knew you already liked me so-".

"so you went and fucking played with me? what is wrong with you?" i said as i got up and put on my shoes again. i couldn't believe my ears as he tried to explain that he fell for me, that he would call the bet off, that everything was gonna be okay and we could actually date like he wanted to. but i couldn't have any of that. i decided to follow him, to lose my friends and actually be with him, to just be a fucking bet? i felt so completely stupid and disgusted with his actions.

"listen (y/n). don't do this, we'll work it out and i'll call the fucking bet off but i cannot lose you." he said and begged for me to stay but i could not care less about his feelings right now as mine were being torn and shredded apart.

"i actually thought i had a chance with you. i gave it my all and didn't let myself be guided by what my friends said or what people were whispering in the hallways 24/7 and i get paid like this? a fucking bet?" i say with every tear falling out like a cascade. "on top of that you chose me because you knew you could make me easily fall and that's so fucked up hyunjin."

he didn't have any more words than "sorry" to say so i decided to leave. he didn't even chase after me because there was no point in doing so, he just stood there like a statue watching me leave and i took the little pride i had left in me to walk away.

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when i made to the familiar house, i couldn't even see it clearly through all my tears but i knew the way to her home by heart. i rang the bell and waited and when she opened the door and saw me in that state, she knew exactly what happened. my mascara was messed up, my hair was a mess and my clothes were lazily put on as i tried to escape from hyunjin as fast as possible to find my way here.

"i'm so fucking sorry, i'll kill him." yunjin said as she hugged me and through the tears, i laughed but in the most broken way possible.

"a bet." i could only say.

that's all i was at the end of the day.

#skz imagines #skz imagine #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids drabbles #stray kids scenarios #hyunjin x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #skz fanfic #skz drabbles #sourbinnie #skz angst

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drakaripykiros130ac · 6 months

Text

I am back with another pointless TG comment which I am sure you have already heard of : “Rhaenyra was pouting at Aegon’s second name day because she was no longer the center of attention. She was selfish.”

Oh boy…

Well, these types of comments are obviously made by people who have never bothered to put themselves in Rhaenyra’s shoes (that is the case with most TG fans).

From the very beginning of the story, we have been shown that Rhaenyra has absolutely no problem with the idea of another child in her parents’ lives. She was very supportive of her mother and father having a son. In addition, she was even more excited by the idea of having a baby sister, whom she wanted to name Visenya, after her favorite Queen.

Rhaenyra was the apple of her father’s eye for many years, since she had been his only living child. For Queen Aemma, it was the same. Rhaenyra was sheltered, loved by her parents and the smallfolk. Everyone indulged her, and she was happy.

Then, her whole life came crashing down on her in a very short span of time. Her mother was dead, her newborn brother had died, her father had no other child but her, she was entrusted by her father with a very important Targaryen prophesy as well as the Crown, and her supposedly best friend betrayed her.

Now, three years later, she is forced to participate in a hunt dedicated to Alicent Hightower’s son’s second name day. Quite a big fuss over the second name day of a second child of the King who was not the heir, if you think about it. What was with all that excitement? Why was Aegon’s name day such a big deal for quite a few lords?

Because many of those who participated in that hunt already viewed her half-brother as the future monarch. They so easily clapped for him and showered him with praises and attention, all the while acting as if Rhaenyra, the Heir to the Throne to whom these lords swore oaths, was not even there.

And what was even more disturbing was how much Viserys himself was praising the birth of the male child he has always wanted. In Rhaenyra’s mind, her own father, the father who decided to place the burden of the prophesy and the future of their House on her shoulders, the father who told her he saw in her the qualities of a great ruling Queen, was also treating her now as the ‘second child’.

“But this was Aegon’s name day, not Rhaenyra’s! So of course everyone was paying attention to him!” - some argue.

Of course. But that hunt was never even supposed to take place (no doubt Otto’s idea). I don’t think Rhaenyra herself received such a “grand” name day celebration in her life, even after she was named Heir. But her half-brother did. And what does that tell her?

Rhaenyra is a wise girl. She put the pieces of the puzzle together quickly. It means that Aegon was indirectly treated by everyone, including the King, as the future monarch.

Rhaenyra lost everything when her mother died. But her father offered her hope and purpose, when he named her Heir and entrusted her with the Conqueror’s prophesy. From that moment on, Rhaenyra laid claim on the Crown. It was hers. The one thing she still had. And now the Hightowers were plotting to take even that one thing away from her. And in her mind, her father was letting them.

“No one is here for me.” - When Rhaenyra said that, she didn’t mean it literally. She meant it figuratively. She wasn’t referring to the hunt. She was referring to her situation in general.

She was informing her father of the truth. As soon as Alicent gave birth to that boy, the tides changed since everyone assumed that Viserys would name him heir. And the Hightower snakes were hissing with excitement (notice how the Lord who was shouting for Aegon at the top of his lungs during the hunt was none other than Lord Hightower himself).

Rhaenyra didn’t have anyone on her side. She was all alone. Her mother was gone. Her mother’s family, the Arryns were doing…anything else other than stand by her side in her time of need. Daemon was off trying to prove himself in the Stepstones (although I am sure if he had been at Court, he would have done everything in his power to ease her worries and support her). And her father was present but completely oblivious to his daughter’s suffering or how the Hightowers were making a move to steal her inheritance.

And then, her interactions with idiotic lords such as Jason Lannister, confirmed something else for her. That her father was going to turn his back on her officially, allow the Hightowers to slither their way into the royal fold and take away her House’s power.

“You mean to replace me with Alicent Hightower’s son.” - she rightfully accused him.

Rhaenyra was rightfully upset during that hunt. Because her half-brother (born to a woman she did not agree for her father to marry) was given attention that he normally shouldn’t have received as a second-born child who would not be made heir. Because his name day celebrations were too grand for the name day of a child who would NOT be the heir. Because some of the lords who swore to honor her as the future Queen were now indirectly praising her half-brother as the future King. Because she saw the Hightowers’ ambitions and her father didn’t. Because her mother was dead and she had no one by her side. Because the Hightowers were clearly plotting to steal her inheritance and her father was foolishly letting them.

I am certain that the TG fans who make these types of comments would have certainly been all smiley faced at the birthday of a step-brother whose family was set on stealing their inheritance. - note the sarcasm.

If you want to take shots at my beautiful Rhaenyra, you’re going to have to do better than that.

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