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matoitech · 1 year

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How do you come up with super pretty design and fur patterns??

ooo this is such an open ended question theres a lot i could say ill ramble more abt more technical n specific tips under the cut, but honestly my biggest tip would just be to like, look at so much fucking furry art. looking thru other ppls art n character design is both rly fun and literally studying for ur own work. i mean id recommend looking at char design both furry and not furry in general cuz its all useful stuff and rly good to get like a diverse variety of shit to live in ur brain u can take out as insp or little things here n there for ideas for ur own design when its useful. looking at actual animals of all types and species is also useful, lots of cool patterns u can find that way and for some design in particular i will primarily be using markings similar to actual animals ive seen (at least like for example the concept of a darker mask of fur that goes under the eyes a certain way, etc). canines and felines in particular have a very very wide variety of markings u can use as inspiration. other animals too but those tend to be popular w furry art n design n r some favorites for me personally lol

for me its like, a lot of practice to get good at furry art and furry character design specifically, like pretty conscious effort since i was a kid cuz thats what i was interested in and those were the artists i admired and found as big inspiration and wanted to draw like. and ofc i am still trying to improve n learn more myself! so id say to start like.. a lot of practice, ofc looking at actual animal markings cuz u can get a LOT of good ideas that way, and big time: studying other ppls art and character design. u r never looking at other ppls art Too Much u r learning when u r having fun doing that

looking at a wide variety of dif furry styles w furry design in particular is pretty useful, especially when theyre all made for dif purposes; fursuit design vs designs for comics vs furry adoptable designs vs designs created to be animated (’animator friendly’ designs), to name a few, all r serving dif purposes n have dif goals n dif reasons for why they look the way they do.

on a more technical level of How i come up w them/make them, i sat w this one for a bit n here r some ideas i wrote down. i was trying not 2 ramble but u asked the autistic guy who is very interested in and passionate abt furry art n character design so <3 many thoiughtz under the cut so its not massively long

first is that i fuck around a LOT before i settle on smth. slap colors on shit and take colors off. if ur drawing digitally and u have a program w a filter -> color adjustments option like sai 2 u can mess w hues n saturation to get combos u never wouldve thought of without that bonus help. i tend to start working on colors/markings w digital (while i may do preleminary traditional sketches of what the character could look like before colors) cuz its way easier to test smth out and then undo it if u dont like it on digital lol. and even w how i tend to try many dif things i test around before i decide on smth i like, i always keep open the possibility that this design (if im using it as an oc) is open to being changed in the future if i find smth i like more w them

getting attached to pieces of a design and wanting to build around that is great cuz its how u figure out what u like and what is important to u w this design/character, but whats also important is being able to recognize when smth just isnt working (at least the Way ur approaching it, or maybe the character ur trying it with, etc) and u need to try a different track. u can always keep that trait u rly like and want to put on a character and just rework it into a dif design later, i do that all the time! just be content with some designs maybe just taking more time to come together and thats cool too, u need time to stew on ur thoughts n try things in ur brain b4 u test them in actual art sometimes (i mean, for me at least). sometimes u just need to sit on a character design for a while and try a lot of things before smth Clicks. at least for me! sometimes its very easy to design a character and figure out markings n stuff but other times it takes me a lot of attempts and building up a design w new ideas i am getting along the way. maybe i realize this particular design trait is cool but just isnt working on this character/design so i file it away on the backburner to test on a new character later till i find a design (or oc if i RLY like it and want to draw it a lot) who it DOES fit.

i have a pretty big stock of inspiration n ideas i have in my brain bcuz i have been autistically obsessed w furry art and improving at my own since i was a kid so i just have a lot of Interest in this stuff and have a very big like.. amnt of shit to draw from i think? again, padding out what u have to draw from in ur brain in the first place. u could also save character design insp somewhere and look thru it before u start working on a design urself, i do that sometimes! it gets the creative juices flowing for me to look at art i admire and feel inspired by before i work on my own. do stuff to get urself inspired or ur brain working in that direction, whatever way that works for u, u know urself best w it

i often keep notes of little ideas i have or things i want to try so i can try making a character design around it later, i have always loved making characters and character design so i dont rly have problems w lack of ideas or anything, its smth u just work on and if its fun u keep working on it! as a kid id do stuff like, just look thru lists of animals and then just make a bunch of furry designs for those animals, or do stuff like assign colors or plants or elements or whatever animals and then make Furry Versions of those. that was entertaining to me and how i had fun. this kinda stuff is still good practice (emoji randomizers r fun to make character design from, for example).

when im stumped w my own design or looking for new ideas to try that may click better, or when i just need a break cuz i definitely am not drawing all the time, i take a break from drawing and go back to looking at lots of art, aka, STUDYING <3 read comics, watch movies, etc too, whatever ur interested in and inspired by. i think a lot abt my own designs n ocs n stuff i want to draw and ideas i might use or like (or things i dont care for or am that interested in that i think ‘how can i implement that in a way that i DO like in my own design, how can i make this become interesting to me’) while im like, just living my life and seeing outfits and seeing palettes and seeing other ppls work n stuff, not JUST when im drawing. im playing around w ideas in my head before i actually draw, this is smth u probably improve on with just like, time and practice and gaining the ability to gauge if smth is worth trying before u actually draw it. again i cannot stress enough how important looking at a lot of other character design is; both what u like and what u dont like is going to be internalized and is going to be rly useful for making ur own designs. look at a lot of different art styles, look at how other ppl design characters. know that character design is something u can absolutely improve on, its not like, a talent some ppl have and some ppl dont, some ppl just r going to be more passionate abt it and WANT to spend more time on it and improve Because of that.

back to colors! the good thing is palettes (and well everything else abt designs) r super dependant on what u personally enjoy so theres not rly right or wrong ways to do them. liek if someone asked me for tips on how i personally often create palettes for characters Right Now i could think abt it and try to pick up patterns w my own art and then explain my like thought process abt it to ppl, but thats just what i personally like doing right at this moment, and that changes! u have a lot of room to just have fun. rly look at character designs n palettes that r RLY speaking to u and figure out whats working abt it for u or how u can incorporate how much u love how that artist uses colors n palettes n what theyre Doing there to make it work into ur own work. fun studying!

now a more personal one: typically (not as a general rule but often) my oc design is built to be drawn repeatedly and not be overwhelmingly complex to me. the goal is to get smth that looks good and interesting without actually being difficult for me cuz i know myself and know i wont draw a character thats too complicated for me lol whether id get bored or intimidated by the idea of just having to draw a whole complicated fuckin thing when i just want to doodle. for me, this means i tend to pull a lot of character design tips i learned from animation. ‘animator friendly’ kinda stuff, BUT i can typically afford to be a little more complex bcuz im not animating them. im not sure if this is still common but when i was growing up ‘good furry designs’ at least w the artists and other kids i was hanging around were often considered what was the most complex and cool looking over what was actually like, replicatable and feasible to draw consistently without spending a lot of time coloring. stuff that would make having to draw that oc for someone in a commission a complete fucking pain, but sure looks cool as a finished product so u Get why ppl go for those. but personally while i like seeing those designs i know myself and probably wouldnt buy one of those adoptables for that, cuz i know i woldnt draw it enough lol. i enjoy em and can draw some for art fight but as my own oc’s they probably wouldn’t like.. fit my own needs? i may have a much easier time drawing them now bcuz i have drawn furry art and furry character design for a long time so i can figure out what im looking at easier, but it probably wouldve overwhelmed me quite a bit when i got started (been too long for me to remember lol). and thats good to know, its good to be aware of what u want to be drawing and figuring out what kinda stuff YOU like.

adding on from above but that paragraph got long: of course having designs that r rly complex is a lot of fun n stuff im not saying dont do that im saying for ME personally a lot of my oc design tends to be centered around ‘what do i know /i/ will be capable of drawing multiple times without getting either overwhelmed or bored’. so thats a thought for me w my own designs. i also often make designs that i plan on using for like comics or smth later so i do want the design to not be terribly hard to reproduce if im planning on ‘this character is gonna be showing up quite a bit and i dont want to put a ton of work into every panel’

i will also say that like personally while markings r definitely important i DO try to mix design traits thru a more Character Design lense with a Furry Character Design lense. what i mean by that is its good to expand ur Character Design ability in general by paying attention to drawing differing body types and proportions, face shapes and like cheek/chin/etc shapes/fluff, nose and eye shapes, hair style and hair texture, etc. furry adoptables focus on creative and interesting markings on a base to make the character stand out from other wolf guys. which is also very useful to be studying and getting inspiration from for sure! i enjoy those often complex designs for sure. but for me personally i do try to take the approach of diversifying w designs (particularly w my own ocs), cuz its fun and cuz its pretty necessary when ur talking abt like, Character Design. even as someone who often puts a lot of design traits i Know i like onto many of my ocs (mohawks <3 muscles <3 etc) like w character design its important that ur characters would not all look completely the same if they switched clothes or palettes or hairstyles yk? even when putting ‘buff’ onto multiple chars of urs cuz u just like that and drawing muscles theres many ways to make a character muscular on a lot of dif body types and proportions, for example. and while there r parts of the making these characters all look different that may b harder w furry character design (like u got all these wolves and now u gotta figure out how they all look different beyond just colors!!) its definitely still like, Necessary to me personally! i assume u were asking more abt like fur patterns rather than this kinda stuff but i would recommend u think abt that when designing characters as well, its fun and it will definitely improve ur own work in general! and it is rly necessary to practice things like a wide range of body types and hair textures n styles. it will make u a better artist overall.

look at tips from ppl who do professional character design, whether its furry artists or ppl who work with dif types of media (movies, tv, comics, video games, etc). a wider knowledge base never hurts! i have always rly personally valued tips from ppl working in the animation industry so i think thats like one of the primary ‘tutorials’ i paid more attention to and integrating from +as well as my history as a furry artist and what furry artists tend to like and consider ‘good’ character design. it just tkes a lot of fucking around n building up stuff u can draw from. and ur taste will probably change with time and as u improve. theres a place for everything and ur eyes will get better at figuring out what looks good paired together, to u, over time. u can also get great ideas n tips n inspiration from artists of all sorts of skill levels of course!

anyway i hope this helps at all or answers ur question in some capacity, im sure theres stuff i missed but theres a lot of Words here but thats cuz i dont like.. think abt this stuff very consciously so it sounds more complicated when u write it out vs just doing it, which starts feeling more like second nature when u improve at it. i rly appreciate the compliment btw im always flattered to hear ppl like my designs!

#asks #anon #i hope this helps at all! gives u like SOME ideas maybe even if u discard the rest #ocs #furry #since i mentioned my own ocs n stuff here

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bastardtetsu · 3 years

Text

critical thinking | ch①

pairing: kuroo tetsuro x gn!reader

genre: college au, enemies to lovers, tsundere!reader, slow burn

wc: 1.9k

warnings: swearing, being a theatre major

※ mlist | ● ② ③ ④

you knew it was a dumb bitch move to procrastinate on your science requirement.

trying to schedule gen-eds around the demanding requirements of your theatre degree was already a nightmare, and your aversion to maths and sciences makes it even more difficult to find classes that both fit in your schedule AND don’t make you want to actively drop out of school. you weren’t sure why you thought putting off your one and only science credit until your final semester was going to solve any of that. so, you couldn’t be shocked when your only option to graduate on time ended up being 9am chemistry 1. on a monday, no less.

the first class is just as bad as you expect. the lecture drags on for ages, and as much as you will your sleepy morning brain to wrap your head around the concepts being thrown at you, no amount of caffeine, color-coded notes, or mental gymnastics can ford the river of brain-muddling frustration standing between you and a passing grade - the one you need to graduate.

panic begins to set in as you visualize all the hard work you put into your degree rendered useless, all because of a class that doesn’t even have to do with your field of study. who decided there had to be a science requirement anyway? i don’t need fucking chemistry to get a theatre degree??

“if you’re having trouble with anything,” your professor announces, bringing your attention back to the lecture that's finally wrapping up, “the tutoring center on campus is a great resource. i also hold office hours at the times listed on the syllabus. that’s our time for today folks, have a good week.”

you check the syllabus - all of the professor’s office hours conflict with your other classes, of course. asking your classmates is out of the question, seeing as you’re the lone arts major in a sea of STEM and pre-med. as annoying as it is to have to add another item to your schedule, tutoring seems like the only option if you want any hope of graduating. luckily you have some time before your next class, so you pack up your things and head for the tutoring center.

you pray that a decent chem tutor is available during any of your limited free time as you approach the lady at the desk of the tutoring office. she informs you of several with hours later in the week, none of which align with your schedule, and one who is available for the next hour. you figure tutoring right after class isn’t a bad deal - especially considering it’s your only option. the woman gives you a classroom number and a name - kuroo tetsuro - and you set out.

it doesn’t take you long to find the right classroom, but you aren’t prepared for the sight that is waiting for you there. a strong jawline and a mess of black hair that appears to stick up on its own catch your eye first as he taps away at his phone screen, his bored slouch doing nothing to hide his imposing height.

“um... hi, kuroo?” you say tentatively. his eyes glance up from his phone, slightly startled.

“oh, hey,” he responds, sitting up a bit, “you here for tutoring?”

“i am,” you reply with a half smile, “y/n.”

“kuroo. nice to meet you, y/n,” he pulls out the chair next to him as an invitation, “what year are you?”

“i’m a senior,” you say as you make your way over and sit down, “i’m in chem 1.” he definitely seems taller up close, even sitting down.

“chem 1? as a senior?” he asks derisively, his lips curling into a smirk. embarrassment and annoyance shoot through your chest.

“i’m a theatre major, alright,” you respond dryly, “i’m just trying to get my science credit and go.”

“left it ‘til the last minute, huh?” that smirk is still on his face.

“yeah, not my best decision,” you reply, trying not to let your annoyance seep through, “but i’m just trying to pass this class so i can graduate.”

“well, hopefully i can help with that,” he says smugly, “i may be a lowly business major, but i’m pretty good with chem if i do say so myself.”

a business major. of course. you’re familiar with the future capitalist machinery of the business school from your limited experience with the frat parties they so densely populated. needless to say, the impression was not good.

“so what do you need help with?”

“um...” you pondered, “all of it?” he snickered.

“you’re gonna have to be more specific if you wanna get anywhere.” his tone is dripping with amusement. is he trying to piss you off?

“ugh,” you let out an exasperated grunt, suddenly averse to showing any kind of weakness to this jerk. you pull out your notebook and flip to the page where you had attempted to take notes earlier. “this stuff.”

he leans over to take a look at your notes, and as his eyes scan the page you suddenly notice his smell - some fancy-smelling cologne with like, sandalwood or some shit - and his strong but elegant bone structure. i could cut myself on those cheekbones, you think.

“these notes are terrible.”

annnndddd he ruined it.

“well i can’t exactly take good notes if i have no clue what’s going on,” you counter, “isn’t that what you’re supposed to help me with?”

“i can try,” he says with an amused grin, “but I’ve never seen someone struggle this much with the basics on day one.”

now, you could put up with a lot of shit, but the one thing you cannot stand is being condescended to. especially not by some egotistical capitalist fucker who barely knows you.

“look,” you say pointedly, holding back the urge to throat punch him right then and there, “i’m really busy, and i just wanna pass this class, so if you could help me without being a dick about it i’d really appreciate it.”

“aw, but where’s the fun in that?”

his lips twist back into that patronizing smirk - he’s definitely trying to get a rise out of you.

“fuck off,” you say with a roll of your eyes, refusing to take his bait, “are you gonna teach me chemistry or not?”

he chuckles quietly again, thoroughly entertained. “sure. only because I’m so kind, and i could use the challenge.”

you scoff, but hold yourself back from retorting. you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

at first, it’s excruciating. you loathe this douchey business bro getting off on being condescending while explaining chemistry to you like you don’t understand anything - which, to be fair, you don’t. but that somehow makes you resent him more.

granted, once you actually get down to business, kuroo is actually a pretty good tutor. he’s not actively annoying when he’s actually trying to teach you something, and he’s surprisingly patient and good at breaking things down. dude is smart, there’s no denying that.

nevertheless, even when he’s not being snarky, every correction he makes seems to fluster you more. you hate looking stupid in front of others, and something about kuroo seems to amplify that feeling by a thousand. you blame his attitude.

as you fumble trying to wrap your head around the unfamiliar numbers, symbols, & formulas, you’re simultaneously attempting to maintain a shred of dignity in front of this man who clearly thinks of you as the dumbest bitch on the planet. and the more you struggle, the more you worry he’s right.

“seeeee? i told you it wasn’t that hard!” he hums as you finish off another homework question you’d been struggling with. he can’t seem to praise you without being patronizing as fuck, either. you look up from your page momentarily to shoot him a glare.

frustration and embarrassment simmer inside of you with each of his snide remarks, but you hold yourself together and divert the attention back to studying each time. the restraint it takes not to deck him right in his pretty face is honestly deserving of a nobel peace prize.

“not bad,” he muses as you finally finish off the last of your homework, “and it only took you two and a half hours!”

“i’m floored,” you deadpan. your brain is too exhausted to formulate a more clever comeback. then you suddenly realize - “hang on... has it actually been two and a half hours? i thought you were only available for one??”

“technically,” he shrugs, “that’s when my tutoring hours end. but I wasn’t doing anything after, and you seemed like you needed the extra help.” that shitty smile is back. you can feel your blood boiling, but at the same time that... is actually pretty nice of him?

“ah... th-thanks,” you mumble, still resistant to showing any signs of weakness - much less gratitude - to the messy-haired prick.

“so, should i expect you back next week?” his stare reminds you of a cat sizing up its prey.

“uh... maybe,” you say. you honestly don’t have an answer yet. “i have to run though, i’ve got another class to get to.”

“don’t be a stranger,” he grins, “you’re gonna need a lot of help if you wanna graduate.”

you shoot him another glare as you swing your bag over your shoulder.

“i’ll think about it.”

he's still smirking at you as you walk out the door.

—

as much as you’d like to deny it, there’s not much to think about. none of the other chem tutors are available when you are, and there’s no way you’re passing the class without the extra help. and, as insufferable as he is, kuroo did help you get through your entire first week of homework successfully.

of course, you still resent having to rely on some nasty ass, pompous business major to mansplain chemistry to you every week so you can graduate. well, technically it’s not mansplaining since you don’t actually know anything about chemistry. and you technically also asked him to do it. but god, does he have to be such a dick about it??

it’s just an hour or two once a week, you reassure yourself, you can put up with it.

this is easier said than done, of course. the following monday, you begrudgingly approach the same classroom, empty except for one (1) chickenhead douchebag, who promptly stares you down with the most shiteating smile you’ve ever seen.

“oya oya~ look who decided to come back!” he croons.

“don’t flatter yourself, it’s not like I had much of a choice,” you respond flatly. why is he still looking at me with that dumb expression?

“true, there’s no way you’re passing on your own.”

“listen,” you reply pointedly, “some people have better things to do than worry about how many neutrons are on hydrogen or whatever”

“hydrogen doesn’t have any neutrons.”

“COOL!!!! i just want to graduate!!”

“well then you’re gonna need to know that hydrogen doesn’t have any neutr-”

“ALRIGHT, i got it,” you huff, “can you just… help me figure out this balancing equations shit? WITHOUT being an asshole about it?”

“hmm… sorry, i can only accept one request at a time.”

this is gonna be a long fucking semester.

a/n: eeeeee this is the first time i’ve actually wholeheartedly attempted to write a fic in lord knows how long (possibly ever?? idk them memories repressed) and my first time posting my own writing so i hope y’all like it !! everybody who’s ready to see me trash talk k*roo t*tsuro say way ho

#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #.txt #e writes

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captainmazzic · 3 years

Text

Happy Halloween.

So it’s about time I gave a real fucking update instead of just dicking around being cagey about shit. I’ve mentioned a new project repeatedly. So let’s sit down and actually talk about it, friends. Pull up a chair, grab yourself some hot cocoa and strap in. Welcome to Sarc’s emotional roller coaster.

Bear with me. This is hard to talk about for so many reasons, but mostly because I’ve been belittled and ridiculed so many times in my life for liking “cringy” things or wanting to do things that other people think are stupid or childish. I hear the voice of my father telling me to “make something of my life” and “don’t squander your talents”, I hear the voice of my mother telling me I have “so much potential” and “one day I hope you get some ambition”, I hear the voice of my ex telling me to “stop wasting time with stupid shit” and “nobody is interested in failures”. I hear old teachers telling me honor roll students should go to college and study high-demand majors and anything else would be lazy and detrimental and won’t contribute anything worthwhile to society.

It’s the same shit that prevented me for a long time from posting art online. From posting writing online. From making ocs and showing them to other people. And now it’s preventing me from starting this project, and I’m so, so tired of it.

My biggest fear right now is that once I start talking about this project I’ll lose this tiny little community of people vaguely interested in my stuff that have somehow stuck around. External validation and sharing the things I love are my primary motivations with everything I do online, and while screaming into the void is all well and good, I need feedback and interaction and community. I need it so, so badly. I wouldn’t post jack shit – ever – if I didn’t need that, to be honest.

So anyway.

When the pandemic kicked into high gear earlier this year I got laid off for a few months. It gave me a lot of time to think about who I am and where I wanted to be in life, what mattered to me, what dreams I still had and which ones had fallen by the wayside.

Some of them are huge – once upon a time I was very religious. I went through seminary, got my minister’s certification, and was slated to be an associate pastor in a mega-church and rake in a six-figure income within 3 years. But I lost my faith and couldn’t stand the idea of being disingenuous.

And there was also a time when I received a full-ride scholarship to a very prestigious university that would have spanned a 12-year program and resulted in me having several doctorates and masters degrees by the end of it, in the fields of geology, palaeontology, and cladistics. But the scholarship program that was supposed to sponsor me went bankrupt the very semester I was supposed to capitalize on it. I was still accepted into the school, but the $1.2 million price tag would have all been out of my own pocket. So obviously that didn’t happen.

Those were the “acceptable” dreams. Those were the ones that parents and teachers and the general outside world approved of and thought were worthy goals. But neither of them panned out, and all I have left are the cringy ones. Like homesteading and sustainable living (can’t start without land, can’t have land without money). Like making comic books and doing art commissions for a living (it has to be steady to support myself, and I’m far too slow an artist for things to be steady). And like… playing video games.

Ha.

What’s funny is I can already envision the eyerolls and hear the snorts of laughter. What kind of dream is that? Only a handful of famous youtubers and twitch celebrities play video games for a living, and breaking into a field like that is pretty much impossible unless you already have friends in famous places.

Yeah, but… it would be so much fun. Right?

It WOULD be fun. I don’t have to become a super popular celebrity for it to be fun, right?

I don’t have to make it my day job and rake in piles of cash for it to be fun, right?

… I don’t have to actually be successful for it to be fun… right?

… Right?

… I love video games.

I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed so many times to win The Empire Strikes Back on Atari 2600. I’ve loved them ever since I played Mortal Kombat with my cousin in his basement with the sound down super low because it was ultra-violent and I would have been in so much trouble if mom caught me playing it. I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed to finish Strife and Hexen and Heretic without the computer crashing and rebooting to DOS. I’ve loved them ever since I had to cheat-code my way through Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II just to get past the first boss fight but then no-clipped through the wall and died anyway. I still love that game.

But I stopped playing video games for a very long time. I was intimidated out of them by an ex and a somewhat toxic friend group who were Real Gamers™. I was brought to LAN parties but not allowed to play, because I slowed down the team and didn’t know the controls. I was banned from commenting on other people’s moves or cheering people on because it was distracting and I could cost them a win. I was even kicked out of their online D&D campaigns because I couldn’t be serious enough or roleplay well enough for their standards. Even if I was playing a game on my own, I couldn’t play with anyone else in the house because I’d be ridiculed for dying a lot, or for going the wrong way, or for picking the wrong game because only certain games are “good” and most of the ones I wanted to play were “stupid” or “trash” or a “waste of time”.

That kind of thing sits with me for a very, very long time. I didn’t really play games at all for over a decade. Even after I ended up on the opposite side of the country, with a new circle of friends, I couldn’t bring myself to play much of anything.

And then I had an extended visit with a friend of mine, and he introduced me to an early version of a ridiculous little game called Minecraft. My friend was an avid gamer but also a very kind one. In the ten years before this, I had told myself that I just preferred to watch other people play games instead of playing them myself (a lie. I mean, I absolutely adore watching other people play, but I also want to play too lol), my friend saw through that and very gently encouraged me to take a stab at playing Minecraft myself. He moved his laptop over to me, and I played a whole ten minutes with him watching before my nerves failed me and I promptly died. But miraculously it wasn’t a big deal to him. It was just a game. I might have cried in relief, I don’t remember.

After my visit I shelved playing video games for like another year, despite buying a whole mess of them because other friends online loved certain titles and wanted to talk about them with me. (I never played them, just bought them. I couldn’t even handle the thought of playing by myself in my own house). But for some reason I mentioned to my brother-in-law my old visit to my Minecraft-loving friend, and he just… up and bought the game for me. My brother-in-law is also an avid gamer with a lovely and patient disposition, and he suggested I just play in creative mode and build things to start. So I did that (behind a locked door in the RV that I lived in by myself, with the lights off and the sound down low) and Minecraft was my sole video game for another several years.

Then a couple years ago another friend of mine (hi Char) introduced me to Star Wars: The Old Republic, and I fell in love. It sparked a renewed interest in video games that I thought I would never really have the opportunity to satisfy, because games were still intimidating.

Let me clarify: I… SUCK. At video games. I’m terrible at them. Learning controls is a nightmare and a tunicate evolving its own brain would learn faster than me. If I’m aiming, I can’t hit the broad side of a barn. I have the direction sense of a whirligig beetle on the back of a drunk pigeon. I die fast and I die often. I can count the number of games I’ve actually finished on one hand. Even less if we don’t count the ones I had to use cheat codes to get through. But none of that diminishes my love of experiencing them, and over this whole pandemic and quarantine thing I’ve had a lot of time to unpack and mull over my thoughts and feelings and passions about them.

… I moved my RV to a new spot literally the day before the lockdown in my state first initiated. Before this I was in a spot that had no internet other than what reception I could get on my phone, with severely limited bandwidth and patchy, unreliable service. The new spot has a steady wi-fi connection, and while upload speed is utter shit, downloading and streaming video are just this side of manageable. So I spent the first three months of the quarantine lockdown doing pretty much nothing other than watching Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, and Markiplier play video games on YouTube. (I honestly had no idea before this that people even did let’s plays. My internet access/speed has been shit for so long I’m totally out of the loop).

It… for fear of sounding utterly stupid yet again, it inspired me.

Like. These people really love what they’re doing. They just. Play video games and have fun with it, and I mean yeah they make money hand-over-fist doing it but the main thing is they HAVE FUN doing it. They have fun! Playing video games! In front of people! It’s wild. And the thing that REALLY got me was… they have feedback on it too. They have a COMMUNITY. They have people they can talk to about it. They have people that they can play games WITH, even, who don’t yell at them or tell them they suck every five minutes or tell them they can’t play with them because they’re worthless as teammates. They can fuck up in a game and their friends are laughing along with them on Discord instead of screaming at them to get it right or get out. They can play games by themselves in their house and then upload videos on the internet and then they can talk to other people about it! They have fun! It’s awesome! They have fun!!

I just. It meant so much to me. It meant so much to me to see these videos of these three, and then another dozen or so that I’ve followed since, play all these games and have such a good time and also be such a positive and kind and encouraging source of energy.

I know all of this is not exactly about video games specifically. It’s about coming to terms with how I’ve been treated as a person and as a friend, about how other people respect someone’s interests and passions, about how it’s okay to share your interests with other people and it’s okay to like things that other people might not care about or think are important.

And I’m so, so tired of not doing the things I love because I’m afraid of what other people will think.

So I, uh. I invested all of the stimulus money I had into a new rig and equipment like a camera, lighting, acoustic panels, all that shit. I dug out all the games I bought but never played, I made accounts on all the big gaming services like Steam and Itch.io and GoG, and I made a YouTube channel. And I’m going to be making my own let’s plays. And it will suck, and it will be cringy and awkward and badly done, and it won’t make me money or be a valid career option or be anything but another very expensive hobby, but it will be mine, and it will be something I can share with people and (hopefully) have fun with, and it will (hopefully) be an avenue for some of this positive social interaction I’m craving.

I know YouTube can be toxic and super negative and full of trolls and cancel culture fanatics and people just waiting to find something to tear you down for, but like. Come on, y’all. I’m posting this on tumblr dot com. Toxic is everywhere anyway. I just want to try, you know?

I just want to love video games again.

Someone famous that I look up to so, so much told me – without knowing that I was even listening, without even knowing that I even exist – that if I enjoy doing something, to just go for it. To just jump in and do it, and if it works then it works, and if it doesn’t, what have I actually lost?

And I’m lucky enough to have four whole offline friends that I’ve mentioned this idea to, and each of them has said encouraging things like I’d have a good voice and face and style for making let’s plays. I honestly don’t know how true that part is, but on my good days I believe them. And they also said that I should go for it, to just try.

So that’s… that’s what I’m doing, I guess. I just want to try.

I know it’s not Star Wars fanart. I know it’s not Star Wars fanfiction. I know it’s not Star Wars meta or essays or ranting about the Sith and the Jedi and the Force. I know it’s not what y’all want from me. And that’s utterly terrifying. I’m bracing myself to be alone on the internet again, because I know that when I dive headfirst into this thing, it’ll eat away into the time that I normally might be spending doing writing or art, and it’s going to be something no one else wants to see and no one signed up for. And that’s partly why it’s taken me so very, very long to get started.

The other part is more physical. Of course as soon as I decide that I’m going to put my face on a camera is when my entire face goes to shit. I’m currently waiting on a potential diagnosis for mouth cancer, while already dealing with a severe jaw infection that’s causing my teeth and gums to rot inside my mouth. They already took part of my jaw, I’m missing teeth, others are turning black, if I open my mouth even just a little it is so obvious and I look like a very, very literal zombie. I have never been more grateful that masks are socially acceptable. I have a series of twelve appointments scheduled to treat this shit now that I have dental and health insurance (goodbye paycheque), and I might qualify for reconstruction surgery too. But that doesn’t really help how I look right now.

So I just can’t bring myself to start this project just yet. I’ve been sitting on it for months now with all the other pieces in place, but I just. Can’t. Start. It’s driving me crazy, because I want to start so badly. I feel like I’m wasting time. I feel like I’ve already wasted so much time, because I haven’t even done anything else in the meantime. I haven’t done hardly any art or fanfic, nothing. My anxiety is spiking so high right now because I have all these expectations of myself, but I can’t do anything about it. I’ve been told that I could just start without a camera or wear a mask on screen, and I’ve actually done some recording doing exactly that, but I just… can’t seem to make anything I want to finalize.

It’s also frustrating because I have no way of uploading anything at home. I’ll have to go over to my partner’s house which is nearly an hour’s drive away in order to get internet good enough to upload videos, which means that upload schedules are going to be shiiiiiit and that’s also frustrating.

But. But. BUT. I want to do this.

I want to do this so badly. I want to share let’s plays and experience a love of video games with other people. I want to actually play games with other people too. I also just acquired a piano keyboard, and I want to play again on the regular because I miss it so much. I used to play piano for hours every single day, it’s so relaxing and fun, maybe I can post that too. Maybe I can post let’s draws or something, where I ask y’all what to draw and then make a video of me drawing it while bullshitting to the camera I don’t know it sounds like fun. Maybe I can post videos of my cooking because the shit I make seems to be everyone’s favourite thing on instagram, and maybe I can take my camera with me when I go to the ocean or hike up into the middle of nowhere in the mountains and film how beautiful everything is up there. Or maybe I can do none of that and just focus on one thing, I honestly have no idea what I’m doing or how to do it, but I just… I want to try. I just want to try.

I don’t know where any of this is going anymore. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to messages, or opened up commissions. I’m sorry that this isn’t what y’all wanted. I’m still going to continue drawing and writing, I’m still going to be around, I’m not going anywhere, but I have no idea how prolific I’m going to be and I have no idea even when I’ll start uploading videos, to be honest. But I just. I’m just gonna try. It might still take me a while but I’m gonna try. Wish me luck. I love y’all.

#long post #psa #sarc speaks #sarc speaks a LOT #3k words worth of a LOT #I'm so sorry #OTL

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phantom-of-nrc · 3 years

Text

Hello, I would like a Twst matchup (I am open to both student and/or staff) please. I’ll go by as 🌺 and my pronouns are she/them. Also I would like to remain anonymous.

I am an INFJ, Gryffindor with the DND moral alignment of True Neutral. My chinese zodiac is the Snake while my astrological zodiac is Gemini. My favourite colours are subdued pastels and neutral tones. My love language is quality time.

Appearance wise, I am 5'4 light-skinned filipino with a softened hourglass figure. I have a button nose and soft brown almond-shaped eyes. I have straight black hair that goes half-way down my back, but usually is tied up in a messy bun. I wear thin gold framed glasses. I tend to wear lose sweaters, black leggings and runners. Outfit wise, I go for the cozy academic look.

Personality wise, I am pretty reserved with strangers but with people who I am close to (which is pretty hard since I am quite closed off), I am more outgoing. I am quite witty with my responses and playfully tease those who I really trust. Even then, I am overall softer and gentler in mannerisms. Due to closed off nature I tend to listen more in a conversation, but I sometimes am quite chatty. Funnily enough, I have been described as ‘baby’ and 'grandma’ at the same time. At times I can be child-like because of how easily excited and happy I can get over the little things, but at the same time quite old because of the advice I give. I am quite tactile with people who I am close to. I am described as being super imaginative and creative. I am known to be very honest and willing to communicate with others. I also live by the saying “do no harm but take no shit”. I have also been known for grey morals because how I don’t judge or assume things about others. My energy level from day to day can switch from super productive to lethargic.

By nature, I am quite calculating and observant of people and my surroundings. I have a knack for reading people and acting accordingly. Sometimes I become manipulative if I am genuinely mad, which is rare. People usually approach me for advice, comfort or just as someone to talk to. Also, I have been known to be quite philosophical and super chaotic. On the other hand, I can easily get anxious, and become skittish as a result. Quite surprisingly I have a quite a realistic and borderline pessimistic world view. To note, I do struggle with my mental health because of my past, and as a result I deal with moderate depression and have scars.

My hobbies usually consist of reading, writing, sleeping, playing videogames (either story-based or strategy-based games) or just trying out new recipes. When its winter I love to go skating. Overall, I tend to want to learn about things in general, so I also tend to watch art vlogs or educational videos (Science-centric). Currently I am working on learning German in my free time. When I am alone, I tend to sing to myself. (my voice is suited for lullabies and soft jazz) (funfact: people have been trying to get me to join choir because of my voice)

I like softer things such as pastels, flowers, and nature. But I always have a love for the macabre. In the future, I am looking to invest in getting a large dog as a companion/emotional support animal. Currently I am working towards learning Environmental Studies. My favourite drink is Bubble Tea.

Thank you in advance !

ℌ𝔬𝔴 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔢?

🗝 Is this an unlikely result? Who knows? The Snake zodiac and INFJ MBTI combination, you’re the woman that Dire Crowley needs. While you may have days where you tend to be lethargic, the productivity that comes to you on the other days is something that our ever-so gracious and hard-working headmaster needs. Of course he pays no mind to the days where you tend to be lethargic, the two of you could have some fun while the poor Ramshackle residents would have to deal with overblots—

🗝 With your relationship, I do believe that it would be a slow burn, but once the two of you have finally gotten together, expect to be one of the quirkiest couples in NRC. Dire Crowley is someone who tends to be excited over certain things like vacations and events that would polish his and his school’s reputation. With you who’s also someone who’s easily excited, the two of you are basically the sunshine couple of NRC. How unusual considering Dire Crowley’s dark style, right? But alas, love works in mysterious ways, and not even Dire Crowley is immune to the spell that you have put him under.

🗝 In all honesty, I kind of see you and Dire Crowley as the couple who runs the campus together. He does need some help, after all. The fact that you’re observant and calculating is also a benefit if you don’t mind with helping Dire Crowley run the campus. If Dire Crowley ever dumps his work on you, do tell me and I’ll bonk him for you! Don’t worry though. There’s always Yuu and Grim for him to dump some duties to💖

🗝 Please tease him, his reactions would certainly be adorable! He’d be very flustered whenever you tease him, the students are basically standing there, watching like children having to watch their parents share a lovey-dovey moment. It’s inevitable for one of the students to say “Get a room.”

🗝 I envy this man’s ego confidence. Are you feeling anxious? Nervous? Don’t worry, your beloved Dire Crowley is here to save the day and give words of encouragement as the gracious lover he is! Isn’t he just the ideal boyfriend?

🗝 One word: Simp. He’s a simp for you. He’s simps for your voice, he might’ve cried over how peaceful you looked while you’re asleep, he cries while he simps for you.

🗝 Do you have any ideas on events that you’d like to take place in NRC? Just ideas in general? If you do, don’t hesitate sharing them with him! Oh? Are you writing? Curiosity comes and hits Dire Crowley! Would you like to come and spend some quality time with him? Would you like to go to a vacation with him?? Every experience is twice as fun with you!

🗝 On the other hand, he treasures you dearly. Learning of your depression and scars, he’s going to make sure to find ways to help you, to bring a smile to your face and chase the memories of your past away with a relationship full of fluff and years of enjoyable NRC.

🗝 Even if Dire Crowley wears dark colors and you like pastels, it doesn’t get in the way of your relationship. In fact, it makes the two of you an even cuter couple!

𝔐𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤:

Dire Crowley is a man who may have a knack for travelling. Currently, he was taking a vacation from handling his school as its headmaster.

Ice skating has always been something that the headmaster was curious to try. Considering that he, being the gracious headmaster he is, has been busy with his prestigious school. With the chance provided for him by the vacation, he could finally try ice skating.

If only he wasn’t too excited to skate for the first time.

As soon as he attempted to glide across the icy rink, the oh-so graceful headmaster body flopped. It seems like this was the last thing that you have expected. Hastily trying to stop yourself from tripping over the headmaster’s body flopped body, gravity seemed to be feeling a little mischievous as you stumbled and landed on the headmaster.

It seems that Dire Crowley’s eagerness to try ice skating have led to the discovery of a new chapter of your lives.

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland matchups #twisted wonderland matchup #matchup #matchups #twisted moon

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mor-beck-more-problems · 4 years

Text

Special Delivery || Morgan & Otto

TIMING: the recent past, during the reign of Shroomdre

LOCATION: Morgan & Deirdre’s house

PARTIES: @gravityfissure @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Deirdre’s husband stops by bearing gifts.

CONTAINS: Discussions of fairy ring binding

The sling was a hindrance and one Otto was surely ready to be done with, but apparently a grade two ACJ sprain obtained in the duty of fulfilling this mushroom marriage shtick needed a few weeks of immobilisation in this fashion to repair. He’d managed and there were things he could do to work around it but it was starting to get annoying. But at least he was fulfilling his end of the bargain. Unfortunately, it did mean the bike was out of the question and he’d had to pay the Uber extra to not ask any questions about the large netted pile of toasters that were shoved into the back seat on route to their destination. Pressing his temple against the cool glass, for a moment he simply closed his eyes Deirdre’s words playing over in his head.

You’re going to be a devout husband and serve the mushrooms with me, am I clear, you pathetic human?

Maybe this wasn’t the best distraction he could’ve come up with in the face of everything else going on lately. But it was the only one that had been provided to him and the one he’d taken. Plus, at least with Deirdre he had some guesstimation of what he was getting involved with. So she wanted to murder him? Get in line. He’d dealt with murderers before, knew their type and their ego. They were easy enough to maneuver around if you knew what you were doing no matter what species they were. At the end of the day their goal was the same.

Arriving at their destination, Otto hefted the netted haul out the backseat. The toasters clattering on impact with the sidewalk and screeching as he made his way up the drive to ring the doorbell and wait for Deirdre.

Morgan jumped to the door, hoping it was Urk with her fresh brains from the butcher. Deirdre, or Mushroom Deirdre, whoever her girlfriend was today, was getting up to a lot these days, but picking up brains after work wasn’t really one of them lately. She had his customary glass of lemonade ready (Urk liked it extra watery for...some reason) and opened the door, a relieved, “Hey!” on her lips when she realized...this was not Urk. But Not-Urk did seem to have a heck of a lot of toasters on hand, which could really only mean one thing. “...You must be Otto.” She did her best to salvage a smile. This was...probably not his fault, although from what she’d heard, he did deserve some of this. “You can leave those at the door. Your mushroom queen isn’t home right now.”

Otto was lost in his own thoughts over recent events as the door opened, but he pulled some semblance of his typical exuberant energy around himself. It was an easy enough facade to fall into. Excessive energy that seemed almost boundless in its enthusiasm and bolstered his own mood. Though where his mouth opened with a cheery greeting, it died away into a look of mild mannered confusion. “Oh uh-” it felt rude to ask who this person was, someone Deirdre lived with, which didn’t bode well. Both because of what he was currently stuck in and considering he didn’t even have an honest clue who she was because Deirdre had never- it took a few before his memory clicked. Or maybe she had. Once in passing. But the name eluded him. Too lost in the mesmerising fae display at the fairy ring. Meg? Moore? Moray? “Yeah! Um hi...” he half debated offering his hand but figured that might be rude and presumptuous, he ended up dropping a few of the propped up toasters with a clank to raise his hand in a small wave instead. “Yeah… I ahhh- didn’t know what she actually wanted any of these for,” he glanced at the small mountain of plastic and metal reflection behind him before he looked at the figure in the doorway once more “she just ordered me to get them. So… I thought I’d just… bring them over… I got more than expected this mime lady gave me like a hundred for the mushrooms-” he caught himself mid-ramble shaking his head and blinking away the haze of thoughts fast spiralling. “Sorry- I didn’t mean to uh, disturb you ma’am.”

Morgan arched a brow. This was a lot less impressive than what she had expected, but maybe Deirdre had been more on the money than Morgan had realized when she said the humans brought into the ring were usually pretty pathetic. She frowned, grimacing inwardly as she remembered Emma Mushrow. She fit the description as well as Otto seemed to on the surface, but she hadn’t deserved anything like what had happened to her. She was a fucking kid. Learning how to be more was her job. Otto...well, maybe his ‘husbandly duties’ were wearing on him. She probably didn’t look like hot shit either in her house sweats. Morgan held out the glass of lemonade she’d made for Urk. There was more in the pitcher, getting waterier by the minute. “I don’t know what they’re for either,” she shrugged, “But, you can have this before you go. I’ll take good care of the toasters myself.”

Otto’s eyes flickered between the glass of lemonade and back to her, there was uncertainty in the glance. Trying to figure out what angle was being played here, because everyone played some kind of angle. Eventually though he reached out and took it with his one good hand “thanks” he took a sip and suddenly had to fight the urge to pull a face at how watery it was. Who made watery lemonade? “Oh-- wow, that’s good!” a lie but lying came as easily as anything else to him and it was easy to make it convincing, he lifted the glass up to study the contents “is that homemade? I’ve never been able to make good lemonade.” A true story and weird considering his daytime occupation. It was then that he heard the gobble, and his head turned in the direction they came from and his expression significantly brightened in disbelief and plain as day amusement “oh no way… Deirdre was serious?” he glanced at Morgan when the turkey gobbled again, walking into view and Otto stared at it for a moment “sorry- is this that damn bird she keeps calling her son? Is this another fae thing?”

Morgan’s face scrunched up with disgust. “...You...what?” Reached to snatch the glass back. “I was just giving it to you to be polite. And because you look sweaty and...” She made a face, indicating the unspoken gross. “ I know it’s extra watery, because that’s how my delivery guy says he likes it. And, you know, polite gratitude is one thing, but don’t play it up like that. It’s just...weird.”

Butterball’s plucks and gobbles from the garden he was hell bent on destroying added another dollop of perfect to the afternoon. Of course Butterball now had a reputation to precede him, and, really, wasn't it better for Mushroom Deirdre to spend whatever time she did with Otto talking about the turkey than about whatever details of their personal life she happened to remember. Morgan winced. “Yeah, that’s Butterball. Consolation prize for the craft fair. She uh, submitted a photo of herself in the Fine Art category, because she’s crafted her own fine, artful beauty.” Even in relating the small anecdote, Morgan’s temperament warmed. A fond smile softened her face and she found herself going on, saying, “Obviously I don’t think Butterball counts as just compensation, but she’s crazy about him for now. Listen, you don’t look like you’re in mortal danger, which is great, and I really need you off my front step as fast as your Otto-y legs can take you and to see you again as seldom to never as possible. But, if you want, I can whip you up a snack or a drink that actually tastes good first.”

“Sweaty?” his eyes narrowed in indignation, something that carried over into his tone sharp and sudden in place of the relatively mild-mannered politeness that had been fronted. “And I drank it because I was trying to be polite when it tastes like pi- horrific, who the hell drinks lemonade like that?”

Clearly this was a bad idea, not that he’d known this was going to happen when he turned up. All he’d wanted was to drop these bloody toasters off and get the hell out of dodge, instead he now faced being called sweaty when it wasn’t even warm out? Otto could tolerate a fair bit, but random accusations that were bloody well unfounded just weren’t something he could stand for. “Clearly you’re mad, and I’m sorry for this. I am” he stated quite sincerely despite the indignation that lingered following the accusation. “But I’m not sure why you’re blaming me when I didn’t do anything other than show up when a friend asked me to. Seven hells lady, Deirdre invited me, told me it’d be a fun time, how the hell was I supposed to know I’d end up bound to her every bloody desire?” He grimaced at the claim of a lack of mortal danger standing there with his arm in a sling, that apparently if it’d been worse might’ve needed pinning back in place, “sure, because there was no risk in her bloody toaster obsession that I ended up falling four storeys out of a window for it. Thanks for the apparent concern for the person who’s your girl’s living slave.” He really hadn’t foreseen things going quite to this extent. “I am genuinely sorry for any distress I’ve caused but if you’ve got an issue take it up with the one that instigated this whole thing in the first place. Which was not me.”

He glanced at the bird, a consolation prize. Though typical of Deirdre to send in a photo of herself for the fair. But it did little to provide an alternative topic to discuss. “I’m fine thank you. Apologies for infringing on your time and watery lemonade.”

“I’m...not blaming you, Otto. Or her, for that matter,” Morgan said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She supposed he was entitled to his anger, copious and sudden as it seemed, but she didn’t want any part of it. Or him. “And I don’t know what this uh...four storey window misadventure is or how gnarly it was, but, you’re not dead and mostly able. Not everyone who gets brought into a fairy ring gets to say that. But I can appreciate your exasperation. If you need a bail out, or some medical bills covered that’s related to this, you can let me know. I can try to take care of that for you. I don’t not-care, okay? I just don’t want to have to look at the guy calling himself Deirdre’s husband.” She bent down and started piling up the toasters in her arms. “Maybe get some rest and stay offline for awhile, huh? She can’t boss you around if she can’t reach you, right?”

“It sure as hell feels like I’m being blamed for all this.” Otto grimaced, shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet and then rocking back again tired and frustrated with everything that was going on. “She has no control and this person with no control has total control of me - she’s bloody well told me I have to be a perfect husband and I can’t help but say those things because that’s what a perfect husband would say wouldn’t they? I don’t want to bloody well say that shite and I am sorry for it- truly.” He shook his head a little, “it’s fine, I can cover my own bills and I’m not here to extort anyone.” Otto glanced back at the house but ultimately a forlorn look was given to Morgan, slightly pleading at that “when is she gonna be back? Because I really was hoping to ask her to just end this. Please. Or… Can’t you talk to her? Try and convince her this is a bad idea and to end it?” He wasn’t sure it would work, but if Deirdre truly loved Morgan maybe it was worth a shot.

“Are you asking for my pity?” Morgan asked, balancing the toasters on her hip as she opened the garage to put them away. With the pile started, she trekked back to Otto’s pile to grab the rest. “Because I have a couple of designated spoons for pity, but you can’t have ‘em all. I don’t know when she’ll be back. I don’t make it a habit to supervise my girlfriend’s movements at the best of times, and at a time like this, well, I think sometimes she tries to tell me but it doesn’t make any sense. And I’ll be honest, I don’t even know if she can let you go. Mushroom rings are uh, next level stuff. But, I can ask her about it. See what happens.” She set the last of the toasters down and dusted her hands. She didn’t rightly care if it had all looked suspiciously too much for one tiny woman to be carrying. She had housework to get back to and a floor that was calling her name oh, so seductively with its freshly polished shine. “No promises, but I’ll ask. Worst that could happen is you have to stay in this as long as she does, and it’s only a week or two.”

“No, jus’ me saying I hope you can understand this isn’t personal or- I dunno, that it’s not done with any kinda intent to hurt you or anything like that… ‘cause I don’t even know you. I’m not a homewrecker, I’m not I swear. Deirdre’s a friend. Or, she was until this.” Otto wasn’t sure why he even felt compelled to explain himself, that was a newfound development. Deirdre was fun, but she was trouble all in one and he wasn’t sure this was the kind of fun he could really get used to. He tried not to look too disheartened at the prospect of Deirdre not being able to let him go but it wasn’t easily done. “Please. I’d appreciate it if you would. I’d seriously owe you for it if you could get her to end it… I really don’t want to be an issue for you and I’d be willing to try almost anything to get this stopped.” And considering some of Deirdre’s remarks Otto wasn’t sure a week was something he’d honestly survive.

“I know you don’t,” Morgan grumbled. It would have been a lot more convenient if he was, but she knew from the sheer inconvenience of this all if not from all the horror stories that true human consent was rare. Even if they did go in willingly, mushroomed fae had a funny way of not making the terms and conditions clear. “That doesn’t mean I want to see you at our house.” She wasn’t sure how, but having a face to the name made everything harder and twice as painful. Morgan held herself tight, chewing on the unfairness of this all, a piece of gum in her mouth that never had its flavor in the first place. “For the record, she is your friend. Not like this, this isn’t who she really is. But if she was your friend before, she’ll want to be again. She’ll be sorry, I think, if that makes any difference to you.” Morgan crept backwards into the house. “I’ll talk to her, see if the part of her that doesn’t belong to the mushrooms can hear and change her mind. Good luck til then.”

#special delivery #wr otto #wr chatzy #wr otto chatzy #wickedswriting

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cannibalisticapple · 5 years

Text

So around a week or two ago I sent an anonymous ask to @corndog-patrol suggesting Villain Mic finding a Cat!Shouta. When I saw it on my phone in the car, I had to stop myself from reading until I could get home and look at it in full on my computer. It has been so much better than I could have ever imagined.

Seeing all the doodles and artwork so far has been a HUGE inspiration for me, and I ended up writing this over the past week. Because I am physically incapable of writing anything short, it kinda ballooned to almost 8k words, partially because I ended up adding to it as more art was posted. The majority of it was written before the bowtie pic though, including the opening scene. (Fun fact: I originally called Shouta “Pepper”.)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, well, anything to Tumblr, so apologies for any weird formatting issues! And thanks again to @corndog-patrol for making such a great Villain Mic AU! Anyways, enjoy!

The Adventures of Puddles

Given his known fondness for cats, most of Shouta’s friends and colleagues often teased him about how getting hit by a Quirk that turned him into a cat would be a dream come true for him.

They were wrong.

The hero-turned-feline felt thoroughly irritated as he loped down the street, the heavy downpour soaking him thoroughly and weighing down his thick black fur with water. He’d been turned into a cat while heading to UA just that evening, and since then he’d been rather unhappy. Nemuri had laughed her head off when she found him halfway to her apartment with his goggles around his neck and his capture weapon dragging along the ground behind him, which really hadn’t helped much.

Considering he’d been found by Nemuri relatively fast, he should be safe and dry right now, but then Nemuri had taken him to UA. Logically it made sense of course, Shouta would be safe there and he’d have easy access to a support network to find a way to reverse the transformation. Unfortunately, he hadn’t accounted for how the kids would react. One of them had sighted Nemuri carrying him inside, and Nemuri had no hesitation dumping him on the student with a sadistic grin while she went to meet with the other staff.

After spending an hour being assaulted by his students cooing over him and ruffling him from twenty different directions at once (literally), he’d desperately craved some space and alone time. The sight of Snipe and Cementoss sneaking around with cameras and phones ready, clearly intending to take photos of his ordeal, had been the last push he needed to jump the wall and get away from UA for a bit. He knew the area well enough, he should be safe to walk around a couple hours even as a cat. Key word: should.

It was just his luck he’d get chased by someone’s dog for what must have been half a mile, ending with him lost in an only vaguely familiar part of town. His attempts to find his way back had only succeeded in making him more lost over the ensuing hours, the vaguely familiar scenery giving way to buildings he absolutely did not recognize. And of course, it also had to start raining shortly after that.

Right now, he just wanted to get out of the heavy rain. He was wet, cold, tired, and felt sore in ways he didn’t even know possible until being turned into a cat. Turns out having your body undergo a radical physical transformation tended to put some stress on muscles and preexisting injuries. Go figure. At least his dry eye hadn’t seemed to transfer over, but that didn’t make him any less stressed.

The feeling only amplified when he stepped in a puddle and proceeded to plummet into it with a startled yowl, water splashing everywhere. Of course this sidewalk would have a giant hole in it that flooded with water and turned into a miniature, cat-sized bath. The hole was deep enough his head barely stuck above the water, the chilly temperature making him shudder. He scrabbled at the edges with an annoyed growl, trying to pull himself out.

“Hey, you okay little buddy?” The voice behind him made him freeze, the fur on his back standing on end. Shit. He knew that voice. His head whipped around to see a man crouching behind him, and while he wasn’t wearing his costume, Shouta couldn’t think of anyone else with a loud voice who also sported a stupid mustache like that. This had to be Present Mic.

Great, just great, he thought sarcastically. For some odd reason the idiot wasn’t wearing a raincoat in this weather, his long blond hair partially pulled into a bun with the loose strands plastered to his face and shoulders by the rain. How the guy could even see with all those water droplets on his glasses was beyond Shouta. “Oh man, I always said someone was gonna fall into this stupid thing. Come on, let’s get you out.”

Shouta silently glowered at the villain as he reached out to him but made no effort to push him away. Trying to get a good grip on the pavement was tricky with the rain making everything so slippery. Maybe if he could figure out how to get his claws to pop out, but he’d yet to figure out a lot of his new form’s functions. Frankly, the fact he could walk at all was a miracle considering he’d never used a four-legged body before.

So the sulking cat allowed the blond villain to carefully slip his hands around Shouta’s... armpits? Well, his hands went between around the edges of his front legs and shoulders, so, close enough—and pull him out of the hole. Rather than put him down like he expected though, Mic shifted his hold to carry the grumpy feline, turning to walk to a nearby apartment building. “Come on, let’s get you inside so we can dry you off. My place is just over there!”

...And now Mic was taking him to his apartment. Crap. Shouta naturally began to struggle, wanting to get the hell back to UA instead, but Mic had a surprisingly strong grip. In the end he gave up and just sulked in the villain’s arms with a grumpy scowl as the blond draped a towel over him, resigned to his fate. At least he was out of the rain.

“Oh man, you’re lucky I found you!” Mic commented, looking down at him with a concerned frown. “A lil’ fella like yourself could drown in all that rain!” He switched on the light switch by the door, illuminating one of the most rundown and shabby apartments Shouta had ever seen. And considering his meager salary as an underground hero, he’d seen a lot of crummy places while apartment hunting. “You’ll be safe here, just make yourself at home you little cutie!”

Shouta just silently scowled at his current predicament. He just wanted to get warm and dry and take a nice, long nap until this stupid Quirk wore off. (It better wear off.)

The Quirk did not wear off.

Morning found Shouta still very much a feline, much to his ire. He woke up well before Mic, the blond snoozing away in his bedroom (Shouta had chosen to sleep on the couch, which had literal patches sewn on it, he’d never seen that outside cartoons), and Shouta felt no small amount of irritation at the fact he still had this stupid feline body. At least he was warm and dry now. That didn’t make him any happier about the situation though.

A glance at the bathroom mirror had revealed himself to be particularly mangy and stocky rather than sleek and agile-looking like most cats. His long hair had turned into thick, shaggy fur, the black coloration adding an air of dirtiness as opposed to the soft and fluffy feeling exuded by Mic’s actual cat. Sprinkles, if the name written on the food bowl was accurate.

Speaking of the food bowl, Mic was now beaming down at Shouta as he sat next to the now-full bowl. “Come on, it’s safe to eat!” Mic goaded—nay, practically pleaded with him, his mouth pulled into a pout as he looked down at Shouta. “You have to be hungry, little guy!”

Shouta just glowered at him, ignoring the bowl. Nope. Not gonna eat that. He might be a cat for now (seriously this stupid thing better wear off on its own), but he was NOT going to eat cat food.

Mic sighed, seeming to accept the fact as he turned to begin rifling through the cabinet. Good, looks like he got the picture and was looking for something else to feed him. “It’s the bowl, right?” he muttered. Wait, what? Mic turned around holding a cracked plastic soup bowl, dumping another scoop of kitty kibble into it before setting it next to Shouta. “There! This bowl doesn’t smell like Sprinkles, so it should be good, right?”

He beamed down at Shouta, clearly proud of his understanding of cats. Shouta just stared at him blandly, making no move to touch it, and Mic soon deflated. “Eh, you’ll get hungry try it eventually,” he muttered, turning away with a sigh and trudging off to his bedroom. Shouta watched him leave with a blank face, still pointedly ignoring the bowl of cat food.

As he sat there Sprinkles sauntered over and plopped down on the floor next to him, blinking her large eyes at him as she studied him curiously. Normally, Shouta would be happy to be in the presence of a cat, especially one who seemed as sweet and friendly as Sprinkles. Seeing as he himself was currently a cat, however, he found his joy slightly diminished. He couldn’t exactly pet her with paws, which sucked since her fluffy white fur looked particularly soft and silky.

For now, he settled for patting her leg with his paw to try to satiate the urge. Sadly, it did not have the same effect as running his fingers through her fur. He sulked up until he heard a gasp, and turned to see Mic staring at him with sparkly eyes from the door to his bedroom. He bounced over with a giant grin and bent down next to them. “So adorable!” he gushed, rubbing Shouta’s head affectionately.

At this point, Shouta’s broody mood outweighed the urge to claw off his hand.

“So, I already have Sprinkles,” Mic mused aloud, “So what do you think of the name... Pickles?”

Scratch that. Shouta proceeded to do so literally, highly satisfied by the startled and pained yelp from the blond.

“Ow! Ow! Okay, not Pickles! Ouch, that really hurts!”

Day two of being a cat. Shouta was now covered in clothes while Mic loudly rooted through his dresser.

“Where is that shirt?” Mic grumbled to himself, tossing a pair of jeans over his shoulder. Why he apparently stored pants and shirts in the same drawers, Shouta had no idea. Why did a person need this many clothes? Granted, he barely bothered with more than the minimal amount needed himself. But still.

Also, what was that guy even aiming at? Shouta was sitting in the doorway, not even fully in the room!

Mic made a sound of triumph as he held up a shirt in an eye-searing chartreuse, on the more yellow end of the spectrum. A fact Shouta knew only because he’d spent an hour arguing with one of his students over demanding to use the color in their costume two years ago. Why. Why did anyone have clothing in that shade.

Mic turned around with a grin, but his smile quickly faded to a look of confusion. “Puddles? Puddles, where are you?” Shouta’s eye twitched, still displeased with the name (seriously, what was with this guy’s preoccupation with English words?), but it beat literally every other suggestion the villain had. Even if he didn’t like the whole reminder of being pulled out of a puddle.

He gave a displeased mrow and Mic blinked and bent down next to the discarded pile of clothes, lifting up a pants leg to see Shouta’s eyes glowering up at him. “Oh, there you are, you silly baby!” Shouta glared at him, willing all his disdain to show through his eyes. Mic was unfazed. “Aw, geez, now I need to wash the hair off this stuff!” Mic playfully scolded as he started picking up the clothes.

You literally threw it on me, Shouta thought silently. You have no one to blame but yourself for this. He waited patiently for Mic to lift the clothes off him, depositing them on his bed to be washed later. Shouta took silent pleasure in the glimpse of black hairs stuck to them.

Mic pulled on the eye-searing shirt while Shouta continued to sit and brood, chattering all the while. “Man, I am so stoked to see this band tonight! I feel kinda bad leaving you alone here all day when you’re still getting used to the place, but you’ll have Sprinkles to keep you company so you shouldn’t be too lonely!” He grabbed what Shouta presumed to be his work uniform and folded the shirt over his arm, giving Shouta a final pet as he strode past him. Shouta remained in place, pointedly ignoring him as he continued to sulk and brood.

Approximately ten seconds later Mic returned, looking notably dejected. “Your bowl is still full,” he said glumly. “Are you seriously on some sort of hunger strike?” Shouta made a rumbling noise halfway between a meow and a grumble, and Mic groaned, dragging his hand down his face. “C’mon, Puddles, I’m on a limited budget here! Do I need to steal expensive food for you?”

Shouta responded with a pointed glare. He would NOT condone Mic stealing cat food for him. As a hero, he couldn’t allow even the most trivial of crimes, even if they had good intentions behind them. Plus, he had a feeling the blond would try feeding him a wet canned food next, and the thought of the slimy-looking can-shaped meat chunk just made him want to shudder.

(He pointedly ignored the fact he stole one of the pieces of chicken from Mic’s dinner last night when the blond wasn’t looking. He was a cat right now, cats did not need to obey any laws, and snagging food from someone’s plate wasn’t exactly illegal anyway.)

“I still have that concert tonight so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” Mic sighed, and then nodded to himself with a look of renewed resolve. “I can’t let you starve though! We’ll have to improvise for now!” He marched off to the kitchen, and Shouta followed silently, letting himself feel a glimmer of hope. That hope was soon rewarded when he found Mic rooting through the fridge, pulling out a can of sardines.

Not my first choice but I’ll take it. Shouta trotted over as Mic put it on a paper plate, hopping onto the counter to begin chowing down before he could even pick up the plate. Relief visibly flooded Mic’s face as he ate, his shoulders slumping and a breath of air escaping him. “Oh thank goodness, I was getting worried there! Kinda picky for a stray though, aren’tcha?” Shouta just rumbled in the back of his throat, too busy eating to respond otherwise.

“Welp, I gotta run if I want to get to work on time,” Mic said, glancing at the clock. “See you later, cool cats! Sprinkles, make sure Puddles doesn’t get into trouble while I’m gone!” The white cat meowed in response, and with a jaunty wave Mic departed, the click of the door shutting and locking ringing particularly heavily in the ensuing silence. Shouta’s head snapped up, eyes locking on the door.

Okay, he’s finally gone. Time to see if I can find an escape route. Shouta had no intention of staying here absolutely longer than necessary; the sooner he found someone he knew, the better. Finishing off the sardines, he leaped off the counter and made his way to the door, determined to get out.

Ten minutes of trying to open it later, he found his resolve faltering though. Cat paws just weren’t good for turning round doorknobs, even with the advantage of knowing how they worked. And that didn’t even account for trying to just reach it. There were no convenient surfaces near the handle to stand on, so he spent most of those ten minutes just hopping up and down trying to reach it.

As he found himself clinging to the knob with all four limbs trying desperately not to slide off, he finally conceded this probably wouldn’t work.

Letting himself fall to the ground, he proceeded to sullenly slink to the rest of the apartment to search for an alternate route. He’d neglected to explore the apartment the previous day beyond the bathroom and the main living space, as he’d rather not look around a villain’s place too much. Beyond the whole “don’t intend to stay more than a day” thing, he didn’t really feel keen on the “invasion of privacy” thing. The man might be technically a villain, but honestly, Shouta viewed him as more of a nuisance than dangerous.

After checking the window in the living room and confirming it would be even more of a hassle to open than the front door, he reluctantly turned his attention to the bedroom. The door was half-closed, and he felt apprehensive as he crept towards it because, again, invasion of privacy. He’d only sat outside the door that morning because Mic was being noisy and he was curious. He hadn’t been able to see a window then, but there could be one on the wall outside his view, and if he got lucky it would be open. So he nudged open the door, looking around, and—

............

That was a lot of Eraserhead merchandise.

Shouta just stared at the collection of posters and other objects in the corner where two dressers met, as if staring would make it disappear or somehow become... something else. Anything else. But nope, it all stayed in place, from the folded shirt to the homemade banner with ‘ERASERHEAD’ written in large English letters.

I don’t even HAVE merchandise. What the actual hell. Those looked like replicas of his capture weapon and goggles, though the color was slightly off, and... Was that a plushie of him? Hopping onto one of the dressers and prodding at the small doll curiously, he confirmed it was, indeed, a hand-made plushie of him.

Mic returned several hours later to Sprinkles pawing at Shouta as he hid under the couch. Mic, naturally, just assumed Shouta was spooked and proceeded to spend about half an hour trying to coax him out. Shouta pointedly ignored his cooing and just remained curled up in the safe embrace of the darkness, wishing desperately he could unsee what he had seen.

Day three of being a cat. Shouta had finally emerged from his spot under the couch to dine on more sardines, having resumed his usual cool demeanor after the initial shock and embarrassment at seeing the shrine. What shrine? Shouta saw absolutely no hand-made plushies or other merchandise of himself, Mic’s room was absolutely normal. Well, as normal as a bedroom belonging to Present Mic could be.

More important than nonexistent merchandise, he was starting to wonder if the Quirk had a time limit. Was he doomed to be forever a cat? No, no, he’d give it a week before he started to panic. A lot of long-lasting Quirks had a week-long time limit, there was no reason to assume it didn’t have a limit. No need to freak out just yet—

What was that spot?

Shouta froze, transfixed by a yellowish dot moving on the floor next to him. Gaze following it intently, he tentatively slapped his paw over it, only for it to appear on top of it. He blinked in mild surprise, and when he withdrew his paw the spot didn’t move with it instead, remaining in the exact place on the floor.

Had he been human he would have frowned at it, so for now he settled for squinting. What is this thing? After a few seconds the weird spot moved away and bounced in a small circle along the tile floor. Eyes narrowing, he slowly crept towards it and pounced again, only for it to once more appear atop his paw.

Another confused blink, and he quickly retreated, circling it warily. He slowly reached out to tap it, watching the spot overlap with his dark fur before quickly withdrawing his paw. Nearby he heard Mic give a soft giggle, which he chose to ignore as he inspected the spot more thoroughly. Obviously it wasn’t a bug, or even anything physical.

Is it a light? he thought. It was the most reasonable explanation. But what kind of yellow light is that small and able to move like that? The only light he could think of were—wait.

Shouta abruptly froze as the spot zoomed away, just staring into space as gears clicked into place in his mind.

Did I seriously fall for a laser pointer? he thought in disbelief. Another soft giggle from Mic drew his attention to the blond, and he confirmed his suspicion instantly upon seeing him pointing a pen-like device towards the wall. His left hand pressed against his mouth as he watched the two cats from a distance, an amused smile peeking through his fingers.

I fell for a laser pointer, Shouta mentally reiterated in mild shock.

In his defense, his new eyes had a more limited range of color so he couldn’t exactly tell the light was red. Had he been able to see its color, he would’ve made the connection right away. Somehow, his newfound red-green colorblindness had slipped his mind with everything else going on. Come to think of it, that hideous shirt Mic wore yesterday might not actually be that hideous. Huh.

As Shouta stared at him Mic’s smile faded, his hand lowering from his mouth as he frowned. He looked kind of... disappointed? Shouta blinked, briefly confused by the change in expression, until he saw the laser zoom past his paws again. Oh. Mic was still trying to play with him. Yeah, Shouta got pretty dejected too when his own cat lost interest.

As he watched Mic’s shoulders slump he felt a twinge of guilt, and decided to take pity on the man. He abruptly spun and pounced onto the light, the laser bouncing wildly as Mic startled. As the laser swerved away and Shouta chased after it, he snuck a glance at Mic to find him grinning brilliantly, his eyes sparkling. That looked much better than the sad look he’d been sporting.

Shouta was only doing this because he was bored. Cats had very limited options for mental stimulation, it was only logical to take advantage of a distraction when he had the chance. The fact it made Mic happy had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

Day four of being a cat.

Shouta was learning more about Mic than he ever wanted to, and not just because he was forced to inhabit the same space as the man. No, Mic had apparently decided that cats made perfect receptacles for venting.

Shouta felt ready for a villain to burst through the wall and end his misery now as Mic laid on his bed, venting to him in a manner eerily reminiscent a teenage girl. The comparison was more apt than Shouta expected actually, given the man’s obsession with appearances and melodramatic tendencies in his villain persona. He kind of reminded him of an unholy fusion of Ashido and Jirou.

So far he’d heard everything. Rants about the awful music selection played at the convenience store on the way to his job. The atrocious battery life of his cell phone and the hassle of carrying a charger everywhere. The apartment manager who always drew out and loudly over-enunciated her words after she first noticed his hearing aids, making it even harder to understand her (actually a valid grievance, Shouta admitted).

And Shouta just sat there with a grumpy look, trying to convey his utter lack of interest through his sour glare. Part of him contemplated just leaving, but he had actually been quite comfortable sitting on this pillow before Mic came in and flopped onto the bed with an exasperated, “You won’t believe the day I’ve had!” Aside from the noise, this pillow was still quite comfortable, much moreso than the couch, which was worn enough he could feel the springs creak under his weight. So he just tried to ignore the venting.

It was not as easy as he hoped.

“—And then there’s my shitty job—god I hate that place!” the blond muttered, poking Shouta’s ear. His ear twitched away from the touch, just squinting at him with disdain. You seem to hate a lot of places, he thought sarcastically. “They treat me like shit!” Most “villains” would try destroy a place if they really hated it that much.

“It’s all just so horrible!” the blond finished with a dramatic groan, while Shouta watched on with absolutely no sympathy. Screw this, the couch is lumpy but at least it’s quiet there. He was about to get up and leap away when the blond perked up, a bright smile lighting up his face. “But y’know what makes everything better?”

No, what? Shouta thought sarcastically, knowing he’d find out either way.

“Eraserhead!” Wait what? Shouta tensed at the mention of his name, staring wide-eyed and starting to feel rising panic as Mic began gushing about him. “Seeing him always makes me so much happier!” Okay, he really should have seen this coming, since the villain was pretty overt about his romantic intentions towards Shouta in... literally every encounter they had. “He’s my boyfriend y’know? Sooo cute!” Wait, wait, what—no, back up!! We’re not dating— “He kicks my ass a lot but only ’cuz that’s his job!”

Don’t say it like! That makes it sound like an abusive relationship!! A distressed hiss nearly escaped Shouta, but it was silenced by the all-consuming panic and embarrassment that had gripped him. Mic had a dreamy-looking smile on his face, his eyes almost glittering as he loudly proclaimed, “I love him a lot!”

Oh my god. He really IS a teenage girl. Shouta felt like he was watching a disaster movie play out in real time, and in a way he was. The disaster that was Mic’s delusional take of their relationship. Did this idiot even understand how healthy relationships worked!? Why do you even love me so much!?

Maybe his feline features were more expressive than he thought, or maybe Mic was just in a mood to gush over him, because the blond gave a dreamy sigh and proceeded to elaborate.

“Man, you should see him in action. He’s so graceful and agile, like a cat.” More literally than you know right now, Shouta thought sullenly. “And he totally doesn’t back down even if the other guy’s, like, ten times his size!” That would be a sixty-foot-tall person, Mic. That would be unrealistic and just makes me sound reckless. “And he manages to take them down with nothing but his skills and his awesome scarf!” I wish I could take down a sixty-foot-tall giant with just that.

“And plus, he totally punched a reporter in the face this one time!” Mic continued, and that one admittedly caught Shouta’s attention. Usually people highlighted that incident as a bad one, not a good quality. “It’s just, there’s so many heroes out there who only seem to care about the press, y’know?

“Don’t get me wrong, I love big and flashy stunts as much as the next guy—I mean, as long as I’m not, you know, actually facing All Might myself, haha, oh thank god he’s retired now and that won’t ever happen—but some of them just feel... hollow.” Mic waved his hand with a vague frown. muttering. “Like, they do it more for the cameras than a feeling of doing good, I guess?

“But Eraserhead,” he breathed with a small smile, rolling onto his side to gaze at the totally nonexistent shrine as he rambled, “He doesn’t care about that stuff. He’s willing to put his life on the line to save everyone! Hell, that poster of him over there” which does not exist “doesn’t show it, but he has this big scar under his eye. Like this, see?”

He twisted his torso to face Shouta again and traced a crescent-shaped line under his right eye, mirroring the one currently visible on Shouta’s face at that very moment, seriously how dense could a guy be!? “And you know how he got it?” Mic asked, and yes, he did. It was hard to forget having his face slammed into the pavement and ground against it by a Noumu while his students were watching nearby—

“He got it protecting his students, barely even a full week after meeting them.”

The sheer reverence in Mic’s voice silenced any snarky internal commentary, Shouta just blinking slowly. Any lingering traces of the dopey smile had faded by this point, replaced by a more serious look he rarely saw on the blond. “Eraserhead almost died then. I heard he was lucky to even still be able to see. I sent him a card of course, and took over his patrol route for him until he got better,” wait, was THAT why there wasn’t a massive spike in crime while he was gone, “but man, it was such a close call...”

He sighed, letting his head flop back onto the mattress as he stared into space. “It’s just... He went to work expecting a normal day, and instead he ended up facing a giant ambush of, like, two dozen guys or more. And he just went in anyway, knowing he’d probably die. And that—that takes a lot of guts. Guts, and heart.”

Shouta remained silent, just... staring at him. Slowly he slumped atop the pillow and rolled onto his side, staring into space. He had a lot to think about now.

Night four of being a cat. Shouta was currently in Mic’s bed. Repeat: Shouta was currently in Mic’s bed.

Don’t move, he silently commanded himself, staring wide-eyed into the darkness as he remained perfectly still. At some point after listening to Mic confess his undying love he’d fallen asleep, and apparently Mic had taken it as invitation to use him as a teddy bear. The sleeping blond had one arm tossed over Shouta essentially trapping him in place, the hero-turned-feline pressed close to his front. By “close”, he meant he could feel Mic’s breaths tickle the fur on his ears, feel his steady heartbeat against his back.

Had he been human Shouta would probably be blushing right now. Actually, he might still be doing so underneath the thick fur judging by how warm his face felt. This was the most intimately close he’d gotten to another person in... well, ever. Aizawa Shouta was not a tactile person by any means. ...But even with his limited experience he’d never been this physically close to someone.

They were sharing a pillow, for crying out loud!

Part of him wanted to worm his way out and abscond to the couch, pretending this never happened, but... at the same time, he didn’t really want to move. Mic’s body felt so warm. The arm draped over Shouta didn’t feel heavy, but instead oddly comforting. The rhythm of Mic’s heartbeat and the steady rising and falling of his chest gently pushed against his back, providing a silent lullaby that put him strangely at ease.

This was so illogical. Mic was a villain—well, more of a public nuisance, but still—Shouta shouldn’t feel so safe around him. But something about being pressed so close to the blond, half-covered by the blankets and with his head laying against the surprisingly soft pillow, just filled him with an odd sense of contentment.

He could feel Mic shift in his sleep, unconsciously pulling Shouta just a little bit closer. “Soft,” he mumbled, the word slurred and quiet, barely recognizable, yet still full of a deep fondness that tugged at Shouta’s heart. He exhaled slowly before closing his eyes, willing the tension to fade from his body as he curled a little closer to Mic.

Just one night won’t be too bad. I just need to make sure he never finds out I’m the cat.

Day five of being a cat. Shouta took back anything nice he ever said about Mic.

“How do you like your new bowtie Puddles?” Mic asked enthusiastically, hugging a very unenthusiastic Shouta with a giant grin.

“Mow,” he replied dejectedly. This is the worst thing I’ve had to endure in my entire life.

“I agree!” Mic proclaimed cheerfully.

“Mow.” No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t be doing this to me.

Now that he was aware of his current colorblindness, Shouta had no idea what the bow tie actually looked like, but he didn’t think any color scheme could make it look less tacky. It had polka dots. Nemuri might claim Shouta had a horrific fashion sense (not that he cared enough to agree or disagree), but even he acknowledged that a polka dot bowtie was the epitome of stupid looking.

Sprinkles mewed loudly as she pawed at Mic’s leg, blinking up at them with those large green eyes of hers. Similar to Shouta, she also wore a bowtie, this one a sparkly sequined thing that might be either green or pink. Unlike him, Mic positioned it so the bow was on the back of her neck, which Shouta found to be a perfectly practical and overall lovely choice for a female cat. Clearly she was used to being dressed up, as she made no fuss over it.

“What’s that, Sprinkles?” Mic asked, bending down and finally releasing Shouta from his hold. Shouta promptly began tugging at the bowtie with his paw, silently cursing his lack of opposable thumbs to aid in removing it. His tiny toes couldn’t get a good enough grip to do anything but pat it, much to his dismay.

While he sulked over that Mic held out his arms, Sprinkles jumping into his hold without further prompting. As she did her poofy tail coincidentally whacked Shouta in the face, making him jolt and sneeze. He shot her a sour look, while Mic just laughed as he swept her up and hugged her to his chest. “Hey, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?” he accused playfully. The white feline meowed and bumped her head against his chin, eyes sliding shut as she purred.

The accusation made Shouta’s eyes narrow, his glare growing harsher. Mic snickered at his expression before turning his attention back to Sprinkles, his grin softening to something more gentle and fond. “I get what you’re doing. You’re just jealous of all the attention I’m giving Puddles, aren’t you?” He adjusted his grip to scratch her chin and Sprinkles seemed to melt in his arms at the attention, a look of pure bliss on her face. “But you don’t need to be jealous. You’re still my adorable sweetheart.”

As he watched the pair Shouta felt his ire melt away, replaced by a sense of peace and contentment. The love and adoration in Mic’s face as he gazed down upon Sprinkles was nothing but genuine, the relaxed slump to her body an indication of total trust and happiness.

A guy who cares about cats that much can’t be that bad, he thought to himself quietly.

Half an hour later, he rescinded that thought when Mic posed with him and Sprinkles, all three wearing matching hats and bowties as he tried to angle his phone for a good selfie. He silently vowed to get his paws on that phone and dump it in the toilet as soon as he had the chance.

Day six of being a cat.

Mic had returned from his job a few minutes prior, which was just as well since Shouta had unfortunately confirmed that operating a laser pointer without thumbs was hard. He had a feeling Sprinkles had been more frustrated by the erratic movement and blinking of the dot than usual during his attempts to play with her. At some point she’d clocked onto Shouta as being the source of her frustration, because she had decided to ignore the laser in favor of jumping at him.

“Wow, you two did a lot of roughhousing today, huh?” Mic asked as he sat on the floor with Sprinkles in his lap, running a brush through her fur. Strands of black had gotten mixed into her otherwise pristine white coat, the usually fluffy and silky texture more ruffled and messy from their small wrestling match. Shouta himself looked no better; he could see white furs spot his paws, almost seeming to glow against his own pitch black coat.

He had taken refuge atop a cabinet in the far corner to get away from Sprinkles, and now took advantage of his vantage point to just... observe them. Mic clearly brushed Sprinkles often judging by her reaction. She purred contently as he gently dragged the brush along her head, her ears briefly flattening beneath the bristles before popping back into their usual perky position. She leaned into the strokes, arching her back slightly while her cheek rubbed against his chest.

The sheer love in Mic’s expression was visible to anyone, his smile so much softer than Shouta ever thought the loud and hyper man to be capable of. Plucking a few lingering strands of black fur, he set the brush down and lightly nudged her off his lap. Sprinkles hopped off his lap and strutted away, the blond watching with obvious fondness.

Those warm green eyes turned to Shouta, making him stiffen. “Okay, your turn,” he said, patting his lap invitingly. When Shouta didn’t move he got up and walked over, stopping next to the cabinet. “Come on, time to get down.”

“...Mrow,” Shouta responded in a surprisingly meek way. I would, but I’m kinda stuck, he thought sheepishly. Climbing the cabinet had been one thing, but now that he was on top of it... well, the drop to the floor looked much higher than he thought.

This is so illogical, he thought sulkily. As a human he’d made plenty of larger jumps (with the support of his capture weapon of course), but as a cat the drop seemed a lot bigger. He also lacked the fine-tuned reflexes and familiarity with his body he’d developed from years of training with it, so he felt considerably less confident about his ability to safely jump from such a height without hurting himself in some way.

Mic seemed to pick up on his unease, a small frown settling on his face. “Hey, Puddles, are you nervous?” he asked. “Here, come on, just hop on down. I’ll catch you, okay?” He held out his arms, and Shouta blinked, slow and catlike. Seriously? He was asking a cat to jump into his arms? The rational part of him scoffed, since he knew a normal cat wouldn’t be able to understand such a thing.

But... the less rational, cat-loving part of him, understood. How many times had he tried to coax a cat to jump down from a branch, to leap right into his open arms, logic be damned? Seeing that earnest look on the blond’s face, the encouraging little smile silently asking him to trust him... It made something feel content in Shouta’s chest.

And so, he jumped.

His jump was clumsy and awkward, his mobility just as hindered by his lack of familiarity with this body as he suspected. One of his hind paws ended up catching on the edge of the cabinet, turning a would-be graceful leap into a fumbling tumble. Mic shot forward and caught him, the drop to his arms nowhere near as long as it would be to the floor.

Shouta blinked dumbly as he stared up at the blond, cradled almost like an infant. He had a perfect view of the blond’s smile, relief clear in his face. “Oof! Almost slipped there! Don’t worry though, I got ya buddy.” He carried Shouta over to where he’d left the brush and sat on the floor, rolling Shouta onto his stomach with the feline settled in his lap. He picked up the brush and pulled off the fur already caught in the bristles before he began running it through Shouta’s fur, the strokes light and gentle.

Shouta tensed, memories of painful attempts to brush his own hair flashing through his mind. Tugging his brush through particularly bad knots sometimes felt just as painful as getting slammed into the wall by a villain, and he didn’t look forward to feeling it all over his body. To his surprise the strokes were light and gentle though, each one strangely soothing, and—dare he say it... nice.

He practically melted in Mic’s lap as the bristles stroked through his thick fur, Mic using his free hand to pluck individual white furs that the brush couldn’t capture. “I bet you’ve never been brushed before, have you?” he mused aloud. “You look like you’ve lived your whole life on the streets, you poor thing. Don’t worry though, those days are over.”

Shouta gave a throaty hum, his eyelids sliding shut. It was exactly the kind of thing he had told his own cat when he’d first brought her home, some distant part of his mind noted. He didn’t know how much time passed with Mic brushing him, his mind slipping into a content haze.

It felt like all too soon Mic finished, setting the brush down. He didn’t nudge Shouta off just yet like he did with Sprinkles though, instead pulling Shouta into a small hug. The mellow haze which had consumed his senses lifted slightly at that, a single golden eye peeking open as he felt the blond scratch his ear.

“Hard to believe it’s been a little under a week since I found you.” Mic had a gentle smile as he stared down at Shouta, his eyes soft and lidded. “It already feels like you’ve been part of the family a lot longer.” His hand fell away from Shouta’s head, joining his other arm to wrap around him in a slightly tighter hug. “It might be silly, but I’m glad you’re here—it gets quite lonely at times. Pathetic, I know.”

The blond gave a self-deprecating chuckle while Shouta just sat in his arms, staring forward blankly. Right now, he could feel nothing but pure love radiating from Mic, his genuine and powerful fondness for what he believed to be a normal cat quite evident despite only knowing “Puddles” for less than a week. And hearing him call himself pathetic so easily didn’t sit right with Shouta.

Before he knew it he’d twisted in Mic’s hold and bumped his head against the man’s chest, purring lowly as he rubbed his head against him. He could feel the blond perk up, sitting a little straighter. “Oh! You’re a cuddly kitty!”

Shouta just kept purring, eyes sliding shut as he felt the blond gently scratch his back.

This, he thought distantly, was contentment. This was happiness. Just being in the arms of someone who cared about you, and showing you cared about them back, even if just a little.

Maybe being stuck as a cat wasn’t so bad after all.

Morning seven found Shouta rousing to consciousness slowly, his eyes feeling crusted shut and refusing to open. His muscles felt notably more sore than they had the past week, making him groan lowly and curl up a little tighter. Ugh, stupid cat body... He forced his eyes to blink open, and for a moment he was confused.

Doesn’t the room seem a bit... brighter? He frowned, squinting blearily at the shrine (not a shrine, what shrine, those were just random posters of a random guy who happened to resemble him) which seemed a bit more colorful than he remembered. The sand crusting his eyes made it hard to focus, and he reached a hand to rub it away before pausing. Wait a minute, is my hand human?

Behind him Hizashi slowly stirred to consciousness as the mattress shifted, a distant part of his mind registering it dip heavily to the side. A sleepy little moan slipped past his lips, barely audible to even the keenest ears, his eyes drowsily fluttering open to see something dark and furry in front of his face.

Puddles? he thought hazily, but as his vision came into focus his still-drowsy mind quickly registered that it was not his feline. No, it was the back of a human head, a man sitting up on the other side of his bed. A flash of peach near the blankets drew his eyes to an arm with a starburst-shaped scar on the elbow, the blanket falling slightly as the man lifted his torso and wait his back was totally bare, holy shit this guy’s totally naked and he’s in my bed. Any lingering drowsiness vanished instantly as he bolted upright.

“What the fuck!?” Hizashi screamed as he bolted upright, Quirk unconsciously activating in his shock.

Shouta flinched and sat straight up, his hair whipping around his face in the voice-fueled blast of wind as he gripped the blanket against his chest. Well, the Quirk finally wore off at least. Okay, he doesn’t have his glasses yet. Hopefully he won’t be able to recognize you and you can just run before he gets them—

“Wait, wha—ERASERHEAD!?”

So much for that. As Mic’s voice devolved into a high-pitched squeak of horror Shouta rubbed at his eyes with a quiet groan, doing his best to ignore the sudden silence that fell over the room. After a few seconds past he turned his head slightly to look at the blond, finding him staring at him with an ashen look of shock and disbelief, mouth open but for once producing absolutely no noise. Only took waking up next to me in bed to finally get him to shut up.

“So,” Shouta said awkwardly. “Got any pants I could borrow?”

#erasermic #aizawa shouta #aizawa x hizashi #yamada hizashi #mha #fanfic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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fallstreakfeathers · 4 years

Text

Don’t Look Down

[Ch 1 ] [Ch Rating: T ) [Word count: 4898 ) (Also posted under ‘Arkhelios’ on Ao3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956846/chapters/57618382 Do not repost to other sites. ) Update 9/21- grammar/etc has been edited and corrected. Should flow much better and clearer

[ If you had told Kita as she lay herself against her old pillow and pulled the scratchy wool blanket over her head that the next time she opened her eyes, she’d be trapped in a room full of attractive men who claimed to be demons, she would’ve offered to drive you to the nearest mental ward. And yet, here she was.]

Kita sighed, shifting her arms into a more comfortable position as she shoved her face deeper in her own warmth. The room’s cool air sent a light shiver up her spine. She slowly became aware of the soft buzzing of voices, muffled by the pressure of her ears against her forearms. “... -eird way to sleep,” one said. She shifted in an attempt to hear better. “Looks like the spell is wearing off,” another muttered. Where...am I? She must’ve fallen asleep at the desk again. Go figure.

She could feel the soft cotton of her pajamas, a t-shirt and sweatpants, and the small granola bar that she always kept hidden in its pockets pressed loosely against her leg.

I was sleeping… Did I leave the television on? “Welcome to the Devildom! As a human, it may take some time for you to adjust here.” What kind of name was ‘Devildom’? What the hell was playing? Some dumb new show, probably. Oh well. She could turn the television off later. For now, it would stay on and mask the sounds of vehicles and people in the streets. It was doing this remarkably well, Kita thought. “...Kita?” That was strange. Television shows rarely said her name. She blinked, raising her head from the hard surface below her and wiping at her bleary eyes before blinking as she tried to focus. She immediately sat straight, eyes wide with alarm as the fog in her mind finally cleared. In front of her was a group of men, eyeing her expectantly or with mild annoyance as she slowly glanced around the rest of the room. With a quick look down, she thanked every deity and spirit she knew of that she’d been too lazy to remove her sports bra that day. How long had she been asleep? No light fixtures hung from the ceiling. Instead, the lighting came from the moon that hovered brightly in the night skies beyond the windows of the room, and the candelabra scattered around the tables. Only a few were lit.

A large banner dangled above each of the cushioned chairs. Each had been decorated in gold, and the black silhouette of an animal stood ominously against the violet material. From left to right the emblems bore a peacock, crow, serpent, a unicorn, a scorpion, a fly, and the last held something she couldn’t quite identify. A bull, maybe? The banners could’ve used some better composition, in her opinion. The red-headed man in the center had paused for a moment for Kita to respond, frowning a bit when she watched him with wary eyes. “...Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?” Kita remained silent in her confusion, shifting slightly under the man’s golden eyes. She blinked once, and then again, before finally comprehending her small discovery with a sudden clarity. Gold, not brown or green or blue like most people. Contacts? They looked real. She took a quick look across the line of men seated in front of her. She was met with four sets of irises just as oddly colored. Black eyes watched her from under the peacock banner. She wasn’t sure if the red glow was natural or an effect from the fire. Next was a blond man with bright green-blue irises that looked not the least bit interested in her but had an intelligence she knew was far beyond her own. Beside him sat another male. He bore eyes like the colors of the rising sun and he regarded her with what seemed, to Kita, to be too much interest. The last held a grumpy expression and his violet irises stood out against his fiery orange hair. The seats that corresponded to the crow, snake, and bull were empty.

“I think the human might be broken,” the second to last murmured before the one beside him threw a warning glance.

“I suppose I should start by introducing myself.” It would appear… they kidnapped me? Kita resisted the urge to squint at the warm tone of his words. If this was real, then surely nobody who’d gone through the trouble of stealing someone from their bed...desk… home in the middle of the night would have their captives’ best interest in mind? No. She’d have to escape as soon as possible. She swallowed, her mouth dry and muscles tense, and she shook uncomfortably under the sudden hot flashes and lightheadedness traveling through her like fire. This must all be a strange dream, Kita decided. But it couldn’t be. Her anxiety was too real. The nauseating dizziness, like a ship on rough seas, was too visceral and she could feel every muscle as they cramped.

“My name is Diavolo.” So, when am I going to wake up? She considered making a break for the door, but quickly pushed the idea aside. She didn’t know what this building’s layout was, and there was sure to be people in the hallways. She’d never make it. Besides, the door was enormous and looked solid. It would take too much time and energy to open. Better to wait. “I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know me. Someday soon, I’ll be crowned the king of the Devildom.” He was the prince? Should she bow?… Maybe not. She stilled and blanched, sitting somewhat straighter in her alarm when the next word of the sentence finally registered. Demons? That was... that’s impossible. Demons weren’t any more real than werewolves or unicorns or dragons. Interesting and fun to read about or study in fiction, but completely imaginary. Why can’t I wake up?

“This is the Royal Academy of Diavolo. We just call it RAD.” Kita nearly snorted. She supposed having to go to school in Hell would make sense. She took a breath to calm herself and quiet her trembling. If these men really were demons, the last thing she wanted was to appear weak in their presence. Many monsters, she knew, fed off fear and other such negative emotions. “Why am I here?”

I’m still tired. What time is it? She clenched her jaw before she had the chance to voice the offhand thoughts.

“I will explain everything to you,” the man in front of the peacock banner stated.

“Kita, this is Lucifer,” Kita opened her mouth as if to speak but closed it just as quickly, eyeing them both with a guarded expression as her discomfort, again, rose, “He’s a demon and the Avatar of Pride.” You’ve got to be shitting me. Of course his name is Lucifer.

“He’s the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man...aside from that, he’s also my most trusted friend.” Diavolo’s laughter was loud, joyous, and startling. She gripped her thigh painfully tight to hide her flinch. She was very much awake now, and she struggled to control her breathing again, cursing herself as the severity of her situation began to set in. She was kidnapped from her small and lonely home, in her sleep, and now she was sitting in what apparently was Hell itself, in a room with not only the Prince of the realm but Lucifer himself and what was likely 4 other demons of the same strength and cruelty. “Flattery gets you nowhere, Diavolo,” Lucifer muttered. “Why am I here?” Kita couldn’t hide the fear and irritation in her voice this time, and she chastised herself. “I’m not dead yet, am I?” She earned herself a slight chuckle from the prince. “You aren’t.” “This one’s really different from Solomon.” Why did that name sound vaguely familiar, Kita wondered. Probably some book she read. It wasn’t uncommon for names to be repeated. “Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the mortal world and Celestial Realm,” Lucifer explained. Celestial Realm? Ah...If the Devildom was Hell, then that must be Heaven. “As the first step towards this goal, we’ve instituted an exchange program. We’ve sent two of our students to the human world, and two to the Celestial Realm. I take it you’ve figured it out at this point?” Kita frowned at the barely hidden smirk on the black-haired demon’s face. There had to be an ulterior motive to this ‘exchange program’. She doubted demons would want to play nice with everyone out of the blue. “I don’t remember agreeing to this.”

She shuddered at the thought of returning to school. She’d never done well in any class back in her own world. She drew, so she took Art, but failed that (somehow drawing was less fun when you were told what to do. Who wants to spend an hour painting fruit when there’s a hundred worlds to be seen instead?). She latched on to some bits of history, but it was always the parts that were glossed over. She hardly passed math (only because the instructor had taken pity on her final exam). Why bother learning some math theorem when the whole of space held a thousand and one secrets? How could she focus on English when the ocean’s depths remained unseen? “Irregardless, you’re here now. Your period of stay is a single year. You will work on the tasks assigned to you from RAD.”

Kita grumbled to herself. What was there that she could do that would prevent this? She turned to the prince in front of her. “I am the worst possible choice for this,” she reasoned, “did you even look at my previous school grades before... selecting me?” “You truly are quite different from Solomon!” he laughed. “After one year,” Lucifer continued, “you will compose a report about your exchange here in the Devildom.” “You mean kidnapping?” She couldn’t stop herself. I could just... not write the paper. They know that, right? “If you must view it that way.” Kita bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to distract herself from the fear still pooling in her stomach, her expression dark.

“Don’t glare like that,” Lucifer smiled, condescending and borderline cruel, “you won’t be abandoned all by yourself here.” Gee, what a relief.

“You’ll need someone to look after you. I think that person should be my brother, Mammon.” Kita wasn’t sure what it was about his remark that made her think the demon in front of her was up to no good, but she quickly concluding that she did not like him in the slightest. “He’s the Avatar of Greed and... how should I put it…?” he shrugged, “well, you’ll understand soon enough.” She hadn’t thought it was possible to admire someone any less as he handed her a small device.

“This is yours for as long as you’re here. Call Mammon.” She looked between Lucifer and the phone with distaste. “Can’t I just text him?” “I believe a call would be more appropriate.” “Texts are easier, and more practical,” she countered. “Call him.” Kita sighed, thumbing through the contacts and pressing Mammon’s name. It rang twice before a raucous voice erupted from the phone. “Yoooooo.” “Uh… hey?” “Eh? Who the hell are ya? You ain’t Lucifer!” he sounded as confused as he was relieved.

“Kita. I’m a human.” “Huuh? A human?” Was he always this obnoxiously loud? Kita held the phone off her ear, wincing. “Geez, I was gettin’ all chilly here thinkin’ it was Lucifer again. So, what business does a weak little human got with THE Mammon.” She nearly rolled her eyes. Who refers to themselves like that? “Apparently you’re in charge of me from now on.” She did not try to hide the distaste in her voice. Mammon snorted. “Hell no! There’s nothin’ in it for me. Whaddya even mean by ‘be in charge of you’?” The phone fell silent and then exploded in noise again as he yelled excitedly. “AAH! I get it now! You’re the other human exchange student! Yeah, g’luck with that. I ain’t got time to play babysitter. See ya!” “Listen here, jackass,” Kita snapped. She was tired. She was stressed, and she sure as hell didn’t need this. “I’m not happy about it either. You think I want some asshole demon telling me what to do? Lucifer called for you.” Mammon laughed. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Ya think the Mammon would listen to your bull just ‘cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name? I ain’t stupid.” She was abruptly aware of the demon behind her as he turned her shoulder towards himself so he could speak into the phone. She jerked herself out of his grip with a grunt, but allowed him close enough that Mammon could hear him. “You’ve got ten seconds… nine… eight…” Kita held back a laugh at the sharp yelp that squeaked through the phone. “YESSIR!” The call disconnected, and Kita shut off the screen. This is who was supposed to keep her safe here? Are they joking? “Sounds like you had a pleasant chat,” Lucifer said, a patronizing smile adorning his face. She had the sudden urge to throw the device across the room. Or at him. Throwing it at him would be much more satisfying. “Yeah, he seems about as trustworthy as the rest of you.” She smiled as sweetly as she could, hoping the insult would fly past him. It didn’t, and she didn’t miss the brief laughter from the green-eyed man. “You should show us more respect, human,” Lucifer growled. Kita glared back at him, hands clenched tightly as she stood and stared at him. She was silent a moment before she spoke, imparting as much hate and rage into her words as she could. “I will never respect any of you,” her voice left her with a hiss and the shadows in the room seemed to lengthen as Lucifer tensed angrily. “Well, if you were suddenly brought to an unfamiliar place and told that a stranger would take care of you, I’m sure you’d be anxious,” Diavolo interrupted softly. The room returned to normal, although Lucifer continued to glare at her. Kita nodded once at the prince, appreciating his understanding, and recognizing how easily he diffused the situation. “Mammon won’t be the only one helping you out,” he turned to Lucifer, “we still need to introduce our new friend to your brothers. It’s probably better that you do that, wouldn’t you say?” He must mean the others sitting here.

“Yes… As much as I dread the idea of doing so, you’re right.” Kita raised her eyebrow at his words. He didn’t like his own family? Well… there was one matter they shared in common then. Not that it was an excellent thing to bond over. “Come now,” the man in front of the scorpion banner said, his hair bouncing slightly, “you should be honored that you get to introduce a sweet and charming little brother like me!” Lucifer ignored his words. “This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the fifth eldest, and the Avatar of Lust.” Kita nearly cringed. So, what? He’s horny all the time? Gross. “Wh… I can’t believe you just totally ignored what I said,” Asmodeus frowned, “And not only that, you referred to me as ‘this one’. How rude!” The demon in front of the unicorn spoke next, eyebrows pinched together, “Hmph. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?”

“That one there is Satan,” he watched the blond with an unreadable expression, “He’s the fourth eldest of us. At first glance he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving.” Of course there’s a ‘Satan’ too. “So is insulting each other a thing with you all, or is it just you?” Satan smirked, but Lucifer let her go unanswered. “I am the Avatar of Wrath. Nice to meet you, Kita.” “Likewise.” I guess. “So what’s Avatar of Wrath even mean?” “It sums up what he’s about,” Lucifer explained,” he may flash you a pretty smile like that, but it’s all an act.” Wow, he really does like dragging his brothers.

“If you continue making claims like those, you’ll just scare her.” Satan smiled. Kita wrinkled her nose. It honestly did look forced, and she leaned back in her seat, anxiety rising, as the surrounding atmosphere grew dark again. Angry. Kita didn’t like anger. It reminded her too much of memories she’d much rather forget. She mentally shook her head to clear it. “Don’t take him seriously, Kita. Lucifer enjoys speaking ill of his brothers. He’s the Avatar of Pride, after all.” “I’ve noticed,” she said shortly. “Are you done?” the black-haired demon sighed.

“Now, the one there with the grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest.” It didn’t take Kita more than a second glance to realize the size of the demon. This guy was absolutely enormous and would’ve dwarfed her had they been sitting next to each other.

“Lucifer, I’m hungry,” the orange haired man frowned. He held his stomach with one hand as it erupted in a monstrous noise loud enough to echo through the room. “That’s too bad. Behave yourself.” Beelzebub turned his head, a crestfallen look on his face as he muttered, “I’m Beelzebub, Avatar of Gluttony.” “There are seven of us siblings in all. I am the eldest.” Lucifer said. “Mammon is the second. My other brothers aren’t here at the moment.” Diavolo chuckled lightly. “They will lend you their strength during your stay in the Devildom. To keep you safe, you’re to remain with them at the House of Lamentation.” Sounds inviting. Lucifer nodded before turning to Kita. “Most agree with Diavolo, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t vulgar demons out there who would harm you,” Lucifer told her, “if anything were to happen to you, it’d be our responsibility.” His expression turned dark and Kita could feel the warning behind his words when he spoke, “I won’t betray Diavolo’s expectations.” ‘Don’t make yourself any more trouble than you already have’, was the unspoken message. His face lightened a bit. “Although we will live together, you should still have the means to reach us at any moment. All our phone numbers are already on your D.D.D, along with a messaging app.” “I’ll send you a message!” Diavolo’s cheery tone cut in. “Isn’t that nice, Kita? Now you’ll be friends with the future king of the Devildom!” Satan grinned. “Texting doesn’t make anyone friends,” Kita muttered as she looked at the screen. Diavolo: This is my account. Diavolo: Feel free to send me a text at any time.

The emoji he sent next was an odd, three footed bird creature. It was obviously angry, and oddly adorable. Have I irritated him already? She shoved the thought away when a glance at the prince revealed a face slightly twisted in concentration. Diavolo: Oh, sorry. Diavolo: I haven’t gotten used to this yet. Diavolo: You see, Lucifer is the only demon who sends me messages…

Kita supposed it would be intimidating for anyone to knowingly speak to the prince, but for Lucifer to be the only one who would text him? It made her almost feel bad for the guy. She replied with an emoji of a shivering shiba inu, confused at the random human world animal amid a hundred demonic creatures. Diavolo: Hahaha, that’s a cute dog! It took Kita a second to realize that he hadn’t laughed out loud, but he grinned at her before putting his phone away at the exact moment she heard muffled shouting from outside the room. “It seems the idiot has arrived.” A door slammed open behind her, crashing into the wall as a white-haired man stormed inside. “Hey!” Oh, God, his voice was even louder in person, “just who do the hell do you think ya are, human? You’ve got a whole lot a’ nerve summoning the Great Mammon.” “I wasn’t aware I could summon demons with a phone,” she smirked, against her better judgement, “thought all that needed a blood ritual or something? Maybe it was a goat.” Mammon glared at her. “Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once,” he growled, “if you want to continue your pathetic existence, then hand over all your money. And anything else of value, too!” This sounds like a corny mugging. She should just keep her mouth shut. Every fibre of her being screamed at her to stay quiet. Unfortunately, she was never very good at listening to herself when she was frightened. “Do I look like I have money to you?” “Hey! I’ll wipe that stupid, happy-go-lucky look right off your face...by eatin’ you,” he barked. It was hard to take him seriously with the way he spoke, even as he leaned close to her. “Not if I eat you first,” Kita snarled, earning her another amused chuckle from Satan. “Like a weak human could ever do that.” “On second thought, I wouldn’t want to anyway,” she mused, “you look like you’d be tasteless and gristly.” “Why you-” He gripped the edge of her shirt. “Mammon, knock it off or I’ll punch you!” Lucifer snapped. Kita turned her sight to the prince in front of her as Lucifer wasted no time hitting Mammon and drawing a loud yelp from the younger demon. “This is what I’m going to have to deal with for the next year?” “Kita, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed,” Satan interrupted from his seat, “he oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. From what I hear, if he breaks it off with someone, that wealth evaporates.” “He’s also a masochist,” Asmodeus snickered, “that part’s important.” Kita eyed him, no longer trying to keep her irritation and disgust hidden. There was no possible reason she could think of that she would ever need to know that.

“Indeed,” Lucifer said, “and it just so happens that I have a job for my masochist of a brother.” “Y’all, stop telling lies!” Mammon groaned, “I ain’t asked for that punch, and I ain’t a masochist!” “Mammon, you will be in charge of seeing to this human’s needs during the entire exchange. I expect your full cooperation.” “What?! Why me?!” Kita tried not to wince at the volume of his indignant shout. It really wasn’t as if she wanted the white-haired demon to tag along with her, and he was obviously about as fond of the idea as she was. That is to say, not at all. “You’re lucky, Mammon... I’m so jealous,” Asmodeus whined. “Then why don’t you do it?” Kita froze. Somehow, she trusted and liked Asmodeus even less than her current assigned sitter. Besides, Kita and flirting went together as well as oil and water. “Hell no, too lazy.” Thank my lucky stars. “Just give up, Mammon,” Satan sighed, “there’s no getting out of this. You cannot refuse a direct command from Lucifer.” “But why does it have to be me?!” Mammon grumbled, “what about Beel? Why can’t he do it?” “We might as well ask him to eat this human,” Asmodeus said. “Mm. Yeah, I can’t promise I wouldn’t.” Kita wasn’t sure if it was the nonchalant way the man spoke that amused her, but it took all her concentration not to laugh. Maybe it was the absurdity of it all. At least he was honest? “You’re useless, you know that?” “Mammon?” Lucifer spoke softly, his eyes darkened and dangerous. “..Wh-What?” “Surely you’re not telling me you object to this arrangement?” The room darkened again as the flames of the candelabras flickered, and Kita shivered as a sudden chill ran up her spine. Mammon was silent for a moment. The room was quiet enough that Kita was certain she could hear a pin dropping from the hallway. “Ugh… I hate you guys, every last one of ya!” he growled, “fine... Fine, I’ll do it, okay?” Drama queens. She was going to have to spend a year dealing with the seven demons who quickly were becoming the biggest drama queens she knew. Great. Perfect. She placed her index and thumb between her eyes, rubbing in an attempt to quell her growing headache. This was all just too much. Her exhaustion had long since quelled the anxiety and fear she’d felt, and even her anger was slowly slithering back to the confines of her unconscious thoughts. Now, she simply wanted to go back to bed and pretend this hadn’t happened. “All right, human,” he spat the word like it disgusted him, “listen up. As much as I don’t want to look after your worthless ass, I’ve got no choice. It’s an enormous pain, and I’m too important for this kind of thing, but Lucifer told me to do it, so I will. You better make sure you don’t cause me any trouble, got it?” Kita crossed her arms, frowning. “...” “Man, there really is something wrong with this one…”

≿————-　❈　————-≾

It had taken another two hours to wrap up Lucifer’s basic explanation of what was expected of her and by the time it he finished, after countless insults and complaints thrown by her new ‘guardian’, Kita wanted nothing more than to scream and disappear into the void. Her anxiety was back with a vengeance and seemed hellbent on making her suffer. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but the tremoring of her leg as she bounced it off the floor to keep herself awake. “To sum it up for you, you will be an exchange student here at RAD for one year and you must do your tasks,” Lucifer said, “your tasks consist mainly of dance battles, and as you have no magic power, we will lend you a hand.” Ah. Right. Dance battles. These demons are fighting over my soul… by shitty dance competitions, apparently. “Why?” she had asked Diavolo. “Ordinarily, many demons would settle disputes via physical or psychological battles. I believe this is a much more peaceful solution that puts us in a better light,” he had grinned at her, “we aren’t savages.” They could’ve fooled her. She shifted against the intense heat wave that clutched her spine like a vice, tightening and choking her until she could hardly breathe against the lump in her throat and her burning eyes. She was so, so incredibly close to breaking.

Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry. Don’t you dare show any more weakness in front of these things.

“I wanna make one thing clear right now: don’t blame me if someone gets eaten,” Mammon spoke, as if she wasn’t in the room, “‘cause it ain’t my fault.” “Lucifer, I’m hungry…” Beelzebub grumbled. So I am... “That’s too bad. Now behave yourself.”

Beelzebub, again, turned his head away and his frown deepened. It was at least the third time the demon had mentioned his empty stomach, and he seemed increasingly upset each time. Oh, Kita’s shoulders relaxed in sudden amusement and understanding. Do demons get hangry? Poor guy. Kita rummaged through her pajamas pocket, pulling out the granola bar she’d forgotten about in the midst of all the chaos. “H-Hey… I don’t know if you’ll like this, but you can have it if you want?” Kita offered the large demon. She nearly snorted at how quickly his face lit up as he nodded. She pulled her arm back to toss the small bar to him and, despite missing her mark by at least two feet, he caught it effortlessly. “Thanks!” His smile seemed to brighten the room as he tore open the wrapper. Oh… it should not be legal for a demon to look that sweet. He looks sorta like a puppy, smiling like that. An enormous, really dangerous puppy… What am I doing thinking about him like that? Kita shook her head to clear her thoughts. Thank God it didn’t seem like they could read minds.

Diavolo seemed enthralled with her actions and she avoided his intense look by awkwardly staring at the ceiling, and then the table. “I have no more food, so don’t ask,” she told the prince, only partly joking.

Kita yawned, eyes beginning to droop in her exhaustion. It had been well past midnight when she’d gone to bed, and she wanted nothing more than to return to one, soon. “Are we done here yet?” she asked, trying to mask her irritation behind yet another yawn. “Yes!” Diavolo said,” as stated earlier, you’ll be staying in the House of Lamentation with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. They’ll escort you there now.” Wonderful.

“Humans, angels, and demons… I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends.” Kita rose from her chair as the others did, slowly trailing after the group as they moved through the hallway. So much for escaping as soon as possible. They surrounded her on all sides, and she was ready to collapse, anyway. “One year,” Diavolo called after them, “that’s all I ask of you. Good luck, Kita.”

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #arkwrites #Dont Look Down #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me diavolo #obey me shall we date #im very excited about this fic LMAO #q #what do you do when a demon threatens to eat you? threaten to eat them first

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gg-astrology · 4 years

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Can you tell us 10 things about you? and about ur friends irl? How u met them/ how long u know them/ what u like to do with them? This is gonna sound nosy but how's ur love life hdjsks LISTEN YOU'RE LIKE MY DREAM BEST FRIEND AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND ACT LIKE WE'RE TOTES HOMIES OKAY IM A VIRGO SUN PISCES MOON smh a girl is cURIOUS AND (platonically) IN LOVE WITH YOU 😖❤❤❤❤

Hey there!! 💕💓❤️ Oh wow!!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️ Don’t worry this is fine!! I’m actually -- like, really happy and giddily flustered you’d want to get to know me!? 💕💓❤️ I’m really flattered and really grateful/touched aaaaaaa only virgo/pisces deserve rights, my current wife is also a virgo/pisces this is obviously some kind of synastry destiny (jk *wink wonk?*)!! 💕💓❤️thank you for caring about me!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️

Yeah sure!! 💕💓❤️I can tell you more things about me!! 💕💓❤️

Disclaimer? I think it’s good for the audience to know where I’m coming from and who I am? I just think transparency/knowing who you’re talking to is important because knowing who I am, can also help you and me see where my flaws are and where I may be coming from! 💕💓❤️ Or what I provide, but where I might miss my mark somewhere, y know? 💕💓❤️ Not to say you have to judge me, I just don’t see the point in not just being who I am and saying yeah I can see where I took the L there. It’s just-- better? for future endeavors as well? So here we are?

More about me? In sections?

10 things about me?

I’ll start with this since it’s the shortest!

This may come off as totally random but I do better in colder climate than hotter ones -- even though I currently live in a tropical island

I used to live in the US!

I actually have a designated place where I go to sit, open up my laptop and answer asks from tumblr. I sit outside my little patio and stare out at my garden, and then answer qs from here!

This means I’m always subjected to the Wild Life coming at me unexpectedly sometimes, but my cat also visits me at my table! So it balances out!

My favourite drink is milk but I like plant-based ones, or rice milk? Or the lactose free ones! They’re delicious!

Cherries are my favourite snacks but I usually get them once every 3 months -- so the result is I don’t tend to snack often. This is by design of me trying to Not Snack + using my pickiness to weaponize against myself and my eating habits.

To unwind I watch cat/animal videos on youtube before I go to sleep - it’s not very effective because I have to keep my eyes open to see, plus I always end up making cooing noises at the screen -- so I’m not sure when if it’s actually making me sleepy or not. But it’s working so far so I’m continuing to do it.

I have very specific knowledge of certain things in very acute details + link/resources of further studies on the topic, but otherwise I have 0.5 braincells most of the time, just a lot of Forbidden Knowledge.

I have a folder of cursed memes and that’s all you need to know about my sense of humour I think?

Love life?

I am currently single! 💕💓❤️ Gf application is always open! 💕💓❤️ However, I’d like everyone of you to know I’m a 95 liner and I will not accept applications from those born after 98′ 💕💓❤️

Although I’m bi + had ex-bf before... I am (as of right now) on the fence about men personally in my personal life (disclaimer) because I’ve got a week of quarantine, thus I haven’t been doing the do and can think clearly for once. I am contemplating. Men. And the necessity in life. Y know?

Although my love life is free!! I am not excused from the occasional panic of having a crush (annually). I’m lucky enough to go through it just once every year, but every time it happens I am an absolutely clown + always in turmoil. It’s what happens when you’re a sag venus who can’t control your p***y brain. Luckily, my crush just have to insult me or make me explain things from my past and then I’d be too traumatize to crush on them again. It’s quite effective, and works out best for all of us! 💕💓❤️

I’ll refrain from talking about my ex because I know I have a habit of recounting the good and being mushy. Even if we ended it on rocky terms. So! I’ll save everyone from that. 💕💓❤️

Friends (expanded, clarifications?)

The ones I mention on the blog are usually

taurus/taurus,

cancer/cancer,

leo/libra,

leo/cap (x2),

virgo/sag,

libra/aries (x2),

scorpio/sag,

scorpio/cap,

sag/taurus,

pisces/scorpio,

pisces/aqua,

Oof that’s alot.. This might be better to outline in a timeline format... so leo/libra, scorpio/sag, libra/aries and partially virgo/sag are whom I grew up for the majority of my childhood-teenage life! 💕💓❤️

They obviously made a very big impact on me! 💕💓❤️ They’re with me through thick/thin, leo/libra (sag rising) is the extrovert of the bunch. He’s one of my best friends, close guy friend, most of the time I too find him a little exasperating because he’s.. well its his problem so nevermind, but he’s also very endearing! 💕💓❤️ If it wasn’t for him-- well, there’s also another leo I thought was very endearing in a little brother kind of way. So leos to me have a very positive influence in my life, they’re very cute especially when they ask for your attention. I think they are like puppies/kitties when they are needy, and their blatant way of just being themselves always makes me feel refreshed + I admire them for it. In the end, I’m totally heart-eyes endeared for Leos! 💕💓❤️

Scorpio/sag is also my best friend! 💕💓❤️ She’s a taurus rising, and she’s so sweet, kind, chatty and very open/friendly to people! 💕💓❤️ Her, my cousin (who’s also a scorpio but a scorpio/pisces), and quite a few of my other best friends who are scorpios - actually made me realize they’re not like what they’re usually describe as. Maybe that’s just me? But I think they’re very sweet and comforting to be around, not to mention they’re quite supportive and willing to listen when you’re having a tough time with something!! 💕💓❤️The pillar of support and one of the few rare people I don’t mind interacting with (actually crave interacting with them) because of just how chill they are, I wish more people recognize that in a scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Libra/Aries is one of my longest childhood friend, probably from birth! 💕💓❤️ He’s a supportive big brother type figure. But he can be very silly and he doesn’t hold himself so seriously most of the time! 💕💓❤️ Whilst he’s very understanding and quite nosy with others, he tries to be subtle/sleek but he isn’t! I think he’s very endearing when he wants to be, and he deserves someone who loves him lots as well 💕💓❤️ We reunited for the first time in 6 years the other day? And I think we both ended up crying a little and holding hands because we miss each other alot! 💕💓❤️ It was very nice, I think he’s much more emotional (just suppressed) than what people realize! 💕💓❤️ He’s very caring though - like willing to talk you through your problems and make sure you’re taken care of, back on your feet, but also willing to smile scarily at people who’ve hurt you and actually take them to court/yell at them for you. I think its very sweet! 💕💓❤️

Virgo/Sag is someone I hung out with for a short period of time, but kept in contact with periodically throughout my life because we ended up going through similar majors/path in life! 💕💓❤️ She’s someone who’s very caring, wants to take care of you, when she’s endeared by you she makes sure to dote on you often! 💕💓❤️ Actually, she’s born a day after Namjoon I think? But that’s not the point, the thing is - she’s my virgo/sag and when she’s not by my virgo/sag she’s super cool and I can see that many of our friend respects her/think she’s very mature + she’s the Shit! 💕💓❤️ I really admire her too and I think she’s super cool, but more than that, I love how caring and tender she is. She’s the best 💕💓❤️

These are the people I grew up with, and then I went to college and met/lived with Scorpio/Cap + Pisces/Scorpio+Aqua.

Scorpio/Cap and I actually hit it off since the first day? We were in orientation, and we’re both talkative I guess! But in similar ways. He appreciates my bluntness/sense of humour and I like that he’s sarcastic and the only one engaging enough to be around/paying attention to what’s happening. We went to a house party together and then had 1 class together the semester. After that, me and him decided we’d live together off campus (along with our other friend who fell through, I think he’s a Leo?) - whilst we lived together we share majors in the same division, on holidays or at night after class, we’d grab dinner together + walk there, or we’d eat at home and binge watch a marathon he’d pick together. 💕💓❤️ It’s really fun! 💕💓❤️

Both of us like cooking, so he’d make dishes/drinks and I’d do that and we’d coerced each other to hang out in the living space together. Basically, we’re there to force each other to socialize/hang out with people and also encourage each other. It’s very fun! But we also had moments where we’d buy each other dinner/go to art galleries/exhibit together. There’s more serious too of course, like talking about our problems or worrying about stuff. But I think I found someone who looks out for me/I can look out for him, be confidants for each other and not be embarrassed with each other. Besides this, he also found my p0rn collection and suddenly mentioned it when we’re on campus so now I can never unfriend him because he has blackmail material on me. I’m forced to be his friends forever now.

Pisces/Cap and Pisces/Aqua are my roommates after Scorpio/Cap - actually, Pisces/cap invited me to live with them when I was finding a place, it was very fortunate! 💕💓❤️ We’re all close friends because we live in the same hall during first year, plus me and Pisces/cap (and a Gemini friend) would get drunk + go to parties together so!! This is very convenient! 💕💓❤️

Actually.. Pisces/cap, me and Gemini friend.. I went with Gemini friend to buy his apartment with him (along with his friends, I’m good friends with them too) and Pisces/cap went with him to buy furnitures lmao! 💕💓❤️ And then me and Pisces/cap moved in together, although I didn’t room with them. I roomed with Pisces/Aqua whom till this date is my favourite roommate I’ve ever lived with! 💕💓❤️

It’s a little messy with Pisces/Cap but not in a? bad way? at all? Like we’re close friends who still talk often, but they did confess once over the holidays, and I turned them down (that was when I was about to move in) - we did make out along with pisces/aqua but like.. that’s... I guess that’s normal for college y know? We did a couple projects together for their class, like a comic about me and gemini friend, poems, photography, I drew them something. And I think they did have something with Gemini friend as well but! Gemini friend moved away on the last year so it never went anywhere there.

But these are all good memories we had together and it’s not like-- bad at all, I don’t ever think badly at them for it because it was honest to them/for them, it was their emotions and tenderness from the heart? I can’t ever look down on anyone for that or judge them for being true to themselves, I actually think they’re very brave to be able to heal themselves and process things especially involving emotions like that. I also think these are all precious and honest memories, being friends with them definitely helped me grow my EQ by so much. Without them, I’d be very close-minded today! 💕💓❤️

Pisces/aqua is my roommate for a long time, and I love them to bits too! 💕💓❤️ They have two cats, both I love so so much and would sacrifice getting up for very often! 💕💓❤️ More than that, Pisces/aqua is so smart and able to pick things up immediately! It’s honestly very admirable, how they pierce things together. Whether it’s tarot or astrology, they’re the one who got me into this actually? 💕💓❤️ It was their interest before it became mine through proxy or maybe osmosis lmao, but they’re quite judgey and sometimes have a ? idk, superiority complex/elitist attitude towards stuff sometimes? So I never really talked about it much with them because it can get really frustrating sometimes 💕💓❤️ I do love them lots though, I can be ignorant of a lot of things and really slow on the uptake, but they’re very nice and kind and patient with me - honestly they’re as patient as a saint sometimes with me. And I’m really really thankful to them for it! 💕💓❤️ They’re getting married this year to a Scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/taurus and Cancer/cancer are my college best friends. Actually we hang out outside of class too! 💕💓❤️ I celebrated cancer/cancer’s birthday with them and their friends/roommates and it’s really fun. Heres why it’s -- like, momentous. It’s because my college classmates are more like colleagues or co-workers, so we don’t usually have that kind of camaraderie outside of first year. Plus, we’re all kind of working or busy with our private life outside of class - so it’s hard to reconvene that with who you know in classrooms.

They like their private life separated from the college one, which is what I prefer as well. I really adore them though, since we have a major that usually makes us get little to no sleep and have to stay at school at night-till morning most nights (for programs on the computer or printing facilities, rip) -- they’re the one who would either stay up with me, working together at the same table and we can ask each other for fresh eyes on our work. Or they’d motivate me to go home and not be stupid to stay at school. Or they’d drive me home so they know I get back safely/on time. It’s just -- I adore them so much they’re very very good! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/Taurus is also a college best friend whom I befriended later on in the years, they’re really sweet! 💕💓❤️ We have more of a friendship where we spend time outside together, walking in the city trying out a new cake store or just going back to their place to play games or talk about what else we have going on in our lives. They’re really busy!! Since they’re involved in church activities, they travel to another town an hour away every sunday - their dedication to their work, school and church (AND spending time with their fiance’s family + fiance) is amazing! 💕💓❤️ They also got me my first job at the firm they’re working in, in our last years - I made sure they’re not too tired and get their work done on time so they don’t rush their finished project. Or give better advice if the teacher is making them fume. I really like them lots too, we had alot of fun together AND they’re a foodie! 💕💓❤️

There’s another Libra/Aries whom I knew from college, while I was still living with Scorpio/Cap - I was in another town/not the same town as the Pisces back then. But Libra/Aries was close and she’d come by often! We’d travel the city together, lay on the lawn, go to parks together or exhibit. They’re very proactive and we spend a lot of time talking about work and projects, personal interests, when we watch movies together - we’d spend time sitting in cafes after watching them to talk for hours/until closing about the movie ( ‘we have alot to unpack’) -- they’re a lot of fun to talk to because they’re just as intense about stuff! 💕💓❤️ And their interest is genuine, give good hugs, a little too loud for our cats but she means well! 💕💓❤️

This is brief recount of everyone, mostly focusing on activities we did together but knowing them as people obviously made a big impression on me! 💕💓❤️

Leo/Caps are people I met since I finished college/working now, they’re my two admins on the blog actually! 💕💓❤️So internet friends, but I really click with and they’re soothing + fun to be around when I’m home/anywhere! 💕💓❤️

Sag/Taurus is also another internet friend, I’ve known her for a year now? But man, every conversation is an adventure and she’s so fun to be around! 💕💓❤️ Also very sweet and an extremely kind person, in a fire sign kind of way. Which means a lot of gawking from me and very loud laughs. But yes! 💕💓❤️ Very good people! 💕💓❤️

I do have friends from work... but well we’re not close enough for me to actually consider them good friends/talk about them personally? They’re nice! But I have yet to form a more positive opinion about them - it’s positive and negative, so I’ll see who survives and come through as a person I’d like to hang out with outside of work. 💕💓❤️

To Virgo/Pisces anon:

Here’s my best friend application do I make the cut please reply 💕💓❤️

#about me #phew this took a while to answer!#virgo/pisces anon #are we best friends now pls tell me #anon #asks

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donnerpartyofone · 5 years

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i just got a whole bunch of new followers on letterboxd, and checking out who they all are really reminded me of why i don’t follow too many people on letterboxd. bad amateur writing is hard to enjoy even ironically, but there’s something about bad film writing that’s really harmful. i have hate-read so many of this one guy’s reviews that i feel embarrassed about it now. he describes himself as an “arthouse manager”, which i assume means he runs a theater, but it bothers me because nobody says “let’s go out to the arthouse tonight” without the word “theater” in there, it’s just unnatural and pretentious. so that’s red flag #1 right in his description, which is followed by red flag #2 about how he hates modern media, as if being a luddite or nostalgia freak automatically means you’re a sensitive genius. it’s probably worth mentioning a sub-red flag, which is that he also says he’s 27 years old, which has to mean that he either wants to be congratulated for being precocious somehow, or he thinks he’s going to get laid off this movie website where you can’t even post pictures of yourself, or both, i mean who fucking cares how old you are anyway, for what reason? then the first review is of DAYS OF BEING WILD, in which he describes Wong Kar-Wai as “seeking to understand what draws women to shitty, emotionally unavailable men”; i mean imagine being so full of shit that you project your own sullen incel-y “UGH WHY DO GIRLS ONLY LIKE BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH” garbage onto whatever revered works of art show up on your tv screen? this guy goes on to reveal himself in almost a strip tease fashion across many of his reviews, breaking up his pompous analyses with macho mindbenders like “i have often said that being horny is the point of life” and biographical information like about his manipulative alcoholic father. i’m not trying to say that everybody with a delinquent or dysfunctional parent is destined to have idiotic and serial killerish attitudes about intimacy, because that would condemn pretty much all of us. but, i am sadly familiar with solipsistic assholes who brandish their alleged intellectual superiority in one fist while beating the dust out of their childhood traumas with the other, and just seeing his smug letterboxd reviews tells me everything i need to know about him. hopefully he just followed me in a spammy way to get attention and will never interact, or maybe i’ll say something he finds politically disagreeable and he’ll go away.

honestly finding anybody worth following on letterboxd is kind of hard. it can be nice to read stuff by people who are just having fun and shooting straight about what they’re watching, but the site is filled with wannabe J Hobermans and Lester Bangses who are just out to prove that they own a thesaurus. they’re practically all dudes, you can smell the old spice and maker’s mark wafting out of your laptop fan when you read some of this chest-pounding nonsense. not all of them have such toxic things to say as the aforementioned douchebag, but there’s a real preponderance of users who seem to think they’re reinventing the language. the sad thing is when they really like MY writing. there’s this guy i follow who i think used to write fairly clearly, but now everything he posts looks like a burroughs cut-up with really avant garde ideas about punctuation and adjectives, and unfortunately, i think it’s on purpose. i’d unfollow him, but i feel like i can’t, because he is as nice as literally anyone has ever been about my writing. he goes so far as to give me a hard time about why i’m not a professional film critic, he’s like a ~fan~...and then i gotta ask myself, how much is my writing like HIS writing? this is where the difficulties of letterboxd start to feel worth while, in a masochistic kind of way. like, how often do i write in the same wanky bombastic fashion as these shitty little internet valedictorians who i hate so much? probably a lot! i don’t like feeling that way but i have to admit that i’m grateful for the opportunity to check myself, and possibly improve.

however good or bad i am, letterboxd is still a better place to write than tumblr. i mean tumblr is less than optimal for long form writing anyway, but it’s also a question of who the majority population is here. the other day i got a comment on a pretty old post i wrote about ANNIHILATION, a movie i found kind of smarmy and shallow. the commenter said that my points about the movie were good, BUT they would all be negated by the content of the novels on which the movie is based, and they wanted to know why i deliberately omitted this material from my analysis, as if this were a conspiracy to be unraveled. they actually asked me what the point of my post was, like what was my goal in writing only what i wrote and leaving all kinds of things out. basically. this person COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE IDEA OF A MOVIE REVIEW. i answered them, because they had tried hard to be polite, that my movie review blog is just for movie reviews, in which i talk about what i think about movies i watch. i’m not pursuing everything related to certain intellectual properties, nor am i invested in the logic and content of Extended Universes of whatever individual movies i’m watching. i’m not mad at this person, who was asking an honest question, but i was completely dumbfounded by the question itself. i mean imagine being SO INVESTED in fandom as like a type of lifestyle that you don’t know what a movie review is anymore? like every piece of media is regarded as some sort of municipality, that belongs to a state, and is governed by certain people, and its characters are like Real People who are available for friendship, dating and more. no piece of media is just entertainment, or even an artistic statement anymore. for this person, watching a movie is something like studying civic infrastructure, except with more DIY alterations and more fetishizing of gay men. i keep trying to imagine reading three paragraphs about some middling hollywood movie that amounts to something like “i did not enjoy watching this film,” and just having no personal frame of reference AT ALL for what it means when somebody writes that down. like just not knowing what a movie review is at all, and asking the author to explain the meaning of the bizarre behavior of saying you thought some movie sucked.

why DOES anybody write about movies though? if i don’t find it normal or desirable to watch everything with an exclusive filter for who do you want to fuck and who do you want to see fucking each other, then what else am i getting at? surely i don’t see myself as a potential roger ebert or leonard maltin, especially considering the extremely limited number of celebrity film critics in the history of mankind. i’m also not Pro- the idea of sorting all movies according to some rigid standards of technical quality and deservingness, like anybody needs me to grade them after they’ve performed the nearly impossible-seeming task of even making one single movie to begin with. sometimes i stupidly start complaining about stupid responses to my writing that i get once in a while from the internet, and my shrink asks me, “what are you up to when you post this writing?” she always says i’m “up to something” when i seem to be following but willfully ignoring my subconscious drives, which i think is pretty funny. but i don’t think i’m pursuing feelings of superiority, over movies or other writers. i think i’m just trying to figure out what movies are trying to say about human existence--and they all are trying to say something, are motivated by some angst, even the really insulting ones that only offer up wish fulfillment pablum. i’m constantly trying and failing to figure out my own existence, and i must sense that attempting to decipher movies is one way of getting closer to decoding my own experiences.

and on that note, now i have to complain about the fact that Lyft’s driver rating system includes “fun conversation” as one of the four factors in giving someone five stars. i rarely want a stranger to try to force me to talk to them, especially at 4am when i’m headed to the airport under a miserable pile of luggage. even so, i recently got into a car in such a state, with a guy who was clearly going for that five star rating, babbling loudly and convulsively at me all the way to my terminal. it would be one thing if he were just trying to be nice, but he was giving me shit about everything from my pickup location to what i had done in his fair city for a week and a half. i did not immediately volunteer how many movies i had seen at the festival i attended, because i probably intuited that when he did make me tell him, he would inform me that he doesn’t need to watch movies, because “I WATCH *LIFE*, MAN!!!” the irony was that this guy clearly didn’t watch life at all; he didn’t even have the ability to discern that i didn’t want to talk, or that i didn’t want him to insult my favorite leisure activity, and that probably NOBODY wants to listen to him talk about his shitty generic blues rock band for half an hour before 5am. so that’s the one thing i can say for even the most obnoxious reviewer on letterboxd--that probably they are TRYING to hone the art of observation, a dying skill. probably they are TRYING to train themselves to be an active audience that engages thoughtfully with the movie instead of just hucking rotten tomatoes at the screen OR passively allowing it to wash over them. even if i often hate the results, at least some of these guys seem be making an effort.

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latin-dr-robotnik · 4 years

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Quarantine survey

Oh, hey, thanks @beevean for tagging me! I guess it’s time to have some fun again :P

Where are you isolated?

That one country where we keep sharing a certain beverage even when the WHO advised against that---I mean, Argentina.

What are you currently reading or watching?

Just finished watching The Dragon Prince (it’s so amazing) and now I’m on the lookout for something new. My best friend has been telling me time and time again to watch Sherlock so she can finally have someone to gush about it together, so it might be time to check it out (but on the other hand, she simply does not listen to me every time I tell her to watch Castlevania or even The Last Airbender ffs, still love her tho.)

If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time?

I mean, if I go out now I’ll most likely end up in jail. I’m pretty fine at home, if not feeling a little bit heavy-hearted because I miss roaming around shops with friends, something I used to do at least once a month, and last time being February when we went to see the Sonic Movie. I even had a dream where my shopping spree was literally cut off because of the quarantine and I found myself in the empty city center alone. My mind is getting pretty fucked rn.

Any fascinating concept you’re studying?

I’m currently “studying” The Dragon Prince’s approach to villains, and how it has been a pleasant ride thanks to its developments. During the first season, you may think “yeah I know this person is going to big the big baddie of the show”, but you don’t really have any solid proof of traditional villain material, it’s mostly morally gray stuff. As the show goes on however, you’ll start to see more and more shady stuff that will swing you back and forth between empathy and hate; but to be honest, even the “good guys” do shitty and questionable stuff in this show; so that’s why this show’s writing is so fascinating to study, even if I’m years late to the fandom and they’ve already figured this stuff out.

If you meant studying “actual” things though, I guess I did go back to history recently, the last I studied was the Mesoamerican calendars of festivities before the Spanish conquest, crazy stuff but it ain’t TDP. (btw, colonial-era spanish documents are written in such a fucking messy way i mean beevean look away please)

What kind of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing?

Does bulding virtual cities count as creativity? Because I’m spending hours upon hours playing Cities: Skylines, and I’m actually proud of what I’m building. I do have a lot of imagination for these types of sims, and I mean a lot (I noted my thought process when building one part in particular.) This time my vision revolves around placing everything manually, from basic buildings to every single little prop in the city.

Apart from that, I’m doing some writing stuff, and of course I kept on playing music on my Spanish guitar, working on nailing this song’s insanely funky riff.

A song that resonates with your state of mind at the moment?

youtube

I like to imagine that, in my past life, I used to love Disco and Funk so much I probably used to go to 70′s nightclubs all the time lmao.

This song has been my go-to since late February. But quarantine mood is rather complex, and I’m constantly swinging between that song and this slow jam :P

I guess it’s also current mood the fact that fucking country music from C:S of all things made me emotional. That’s a very weird first for me.

Favourite impulsive/’bad’ coping techniques?

Staying up until 7am because of Netflix or even this very post is fun and it makes me rather happy during the hard times, but it ain’t fucking good for my sleep schedule nor my body, I tell you that much.

Favourite healthy/’good’ coping techniques?

Am I actually doing something healthy this quarantine? I mean, I’m keeping the house clean and because I’m spending a lot more time cooking my own food I’m not eating as much shitty stuff as I would normally do. Actually, yeah, cooking my own stuff instead of relaying on all the unhealthy shit out there is my fav “good” thing to do.

This is the part where I would tag someone, but it’s already late, I’m tired and I can’t think about any names. So, if you’ve read this far consider yourself tagged, kiddo. Jokes aside, anyone that likes to try it go ahead and tag me, I’ll gladly read you and you might earn a special place in my heart <3

#latin dr robotnik stuff #why do i always make these posts long fucking diaries?#i can't help myself #there's so much cool shit i like to talk about #like that dragon prince tangent i went on #seriously tho what an amazing series #do not sleep on it like i did for almost two years

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asamlambung · 4 years

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Gush about your fave DR character! ♡

WVJHKHKHKHK anon whoever you are please know that youre unleashing a beast but also thank you im…..

(actually i made a tierlist for this though it might not be as accurate since it was a few months ago)

(also sorry for the characters that are in the lower tiers i swear even if i don’t like them most of them are still good memes. and the ones in “c” and “b” i’d definitely like more if there’s some good art/fics that explore their characters better though i might not actively look for it.)

OK so just to preface i havent seen most free times and most of my impression came from joseph anderson’s playthrough sooo i might be biased but im definitely planning on rewatching at least v3 in its entirety with all of its ftesO i guess it’s best if i start chronological and lemme just say. SAKURA OOGAMI IS BEST GIRL

it’s easy to say that im weak for big stronk gal who can lift me easily. and there is /definitely/ that point.

this is gonna sound weird but i really like the level-headedness she brings to the trials. i wouldnt say she’s the smartest but she rounds up the whole cast in a way that keeps the trials from being too absurd and non-sensical. there are other characters that also do this but seeing it come from her makes me happy somehow? maybe it’s because she also balances asahina in that sense and also that she’s the fourth trial stronk person who’s the most level headed compared to gonta and nekomaru. not saying those two are bad either, they’re great characters in their own right but i feel like their function is more on the side of entertaining rather than weighing in on the discussion. i especially think nekomaru’s whole thing with shitting is funny and it’s kinda a shame that sdr2 cut him from trials starting from the third.

speaking of sakura, yes i ship her with hina. no, duh. they’re good together. but i was also kinda touched when she talked about kenshiro. idk, sakura has two strong beefy hands and she can hold her girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time ok.(pretty sure kenshiro appears in udg but i havent experienced that game outside of seeing a few cutscenes so i wouldnt know)

also the fact that we get a callback to her in the strawberry house was. idk if i should say cool or if it was funny but it was something. and yep, her death was the saddest out of the fourth trials the games had. nekomaru’s death was more respectful for me and i felt more sad about gonta during his trial than his death. it’s more gruesome than sad, to be honest.(and ok the smoothskin joe gives to sakura is also kinda funny)

with other dr1 characters i like most of them are usually because of my friends’ (who got into dr years before i did) influence like kyoko and celeste. there are some others i laugh at but it’s more because of the inside jokes of the streamer i was watching.

ok so with sdr2 komaeda is easily one of the top. but tbh the reason why it is is bc a few years ago i read this (illegally distributed) doujin that had written his character really well. tbh i feel kinda bad now knowing that the doujinka stopped circulating their doujin bc of that and some of the subject matter of their doujin is… a bit too much for me. but the ones that are good are really good and when i came into canon i was like, “oh, this is the fingers in ass guy who got memed to death" nowadays, i see him more as pickle nagito though. i am interested in seeing how his character can be… well, not redeemed but i want to see him heal. whiiich might never happen in canon bc his hope bagel personality is too infamous now.

also i know everyone hcs nagito’s voice as smth along the lines of nico’s voice or john’s voice but like consider jph’s stoner voice. please. it’s so fucking funny with the fucking pickle komaeda meme. maybe it’s bc although im not obsessed with hope or despair, i related to his way of seeing karma.

after experiencing sdr2 thoough, lemme just say that johnny yong bosch did a great job voicing hajimmy hinata. like im not even kidding i really like that voice and if i was ursula i would steal that voice for my own use. buutt i cant do that. unlike komaeda, i’m pretty indifferent to his character arc and enjoy his one on one interactions with the characters more and how he reacts to the immediate events that happened over the course of sdr2.

soo yeah komaeda and hinata are literally opposites in my head, ain’t much of a surprise that i ship them i guess. but!! i like a lot of the gals in sdr2 surprisingly.

like, ok. maybe i’m biased but the designs for the gals in sdr2 are so goddamn adorable. like okay there’s the obvious ones like chiaki and sonia. and i don’t know why sonia’s personality is so goddamn adorable. like not in the “awww you’re so fucking uwu” type of way but more in the sense that she’s funny? it feels like even through all her weirdness that she still manages to make genuine connections with the characters.

with peko, it’s hard to dislike her considering her whole arc with the second trial. of course liking her goes in hand with liking fuyuhiko’s character too but i just like.. how stoic she sounds??? it’s adorable????? and with mikan yeah she kinda went… off in the third trial but consider???? her voice when she snaps was so goddamn hot?????????????? sdr2 has the best voice acting cant change my mind.

and i don’t know why, gundham is so goddamn funny and if i wanna show how absurd sdr2 can get i show my friends gundham’s scenes. he’s fucking funny, ok. and alongside nekomaru i can respect his death in a way. i goddamn saluted when i first watched his execution (with the full context of the trial) because i just really liked the conviction he carried with his murder.

aand with v3…

miu’s one of the funniest character ever!! i swear. i know some people look at the sex jokes and go, “ugh” but im a manchild so i ended up enjoying her moments so much. though i’m kinda a bit meh on the fanservice side, i like how she’s one of the characters who sticks out more. in my language we call her “pentolan” i guess.

tenko’s kinda an easy character for me to like considering… stronk lady. would love for her to carry me. the misandry can get a bit too much but she’s also a pretty funny and genuine character on top of that so she came out with me liking her.

kaede and tsumugi are characters i grew to /love/ after i thought about them a lot.

with kaede, the point i started to relate to her… was with her thirst with girls. i swear im not joking. but. okay. i like her position as the protag and all her ideals. one thing i was surprised that didn’t manage to make me relate to her was her passion for piano considering i’ve also studied it for like, around 12 years. maybe it’s because i kinda fell out of it around 2 years ago because reasons. despite of that though, i like how assertive she was in her time as the protag. and her execution was goddamn beautiful.

tsumugi, though, i wouldn’t grow to love as much if it weren’t for 郁十‘s works. like. please. go watch all of their videos it’s all so good. i think someone else talked about this, but tsumugi’s position as the mastermind feels a lot more “human” than what we got with junko enoshima. compared to kaede, i feel like we could’ve gotten so much more with her as a villain and i just want to see more of her outside of her “plain bread” facade.

it might also be due to my own hcs for them so they’re on my head a lot more than most of the other v3 characters are. even more than my two actual favorites!!

ok, ok. kochiki and shuichi are definitely my favorites of the bunch. like, the toppest tiers of fav actually. it’s kinda hard to talk about these two separately tbh. maybe it’s because before danganronpa, my previous otp in my previous fandom had these two’s dynamics as well. and like, there’s a certain pairing to a fandom i haven’t caught up to in years who also have a detective/phantom thief dynamic. aaand also persona 5 and that one pairing that i don’t have to name for people to know which is my otp.

yeah i’m a sucker for these types of characters. it’s kinda typical that they’d be popular in the fandom. which i’ll h a p p i l y eat up.

soo it’s kinda easy to start with kochiki. i think i don’t have to go into every minute detail and go all meta on why i like him as a character because a lot of people have articulated better on why his character works. he’s fun to watch when interacting with other characters and figuring out his motivation put my brain on work. i’ll say this though, i actually enjoy kokichi better when he’s not being woobified. he’s a rat through and through and i will enjoy this possum boi for that.

(oh wait, possum boi is rantaro. nvm.)

and now mr. detective himself. so i loved his character at first. didn’t love him more than kochiki but. liked his arc, he was a fun protag. then the fan content came and he became very moe in my eyes so i guess it’s easier to say that i uh, like fancontent of shuichi better but i like canon kokichi better. and also how is it that the majority of ousai e-rated works has shuichi as a top SHUICHI IS NOT A TOP um yeah anyway. i feel like out of all the main characters he’d be a pretty nice person to hang out with.

also his eyelashes are nice. im totally not embarrassed while typing this out. im literally physically restraining myself from typing out more so i can not embarrass myself even further.

okay congrats anon here you are i hope you enjoyed this embarrassing mess it took me more than a day to type this out because i don’t know where i should stop myself regarding some characters. but uh yeah. i have gushed. now i shall return to the abyss.

(unless anybody asks me to gush about my ocs which might actually be thrice as long as this)

#LFKDJAG;LFKDJGA;LKJ THE READMORE DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY #poffin.txt #ok i fixed it i think #for the low low amount of 0.1 dollars i will stop gushing abt anything i am an embarrassment #im sorry it took me almost 2k words to gush but like... my love for some characters are just...... *shuichi clenching his chest sprite*

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only-sunday · 5 years

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Let me give you a little back ground into who I actually am besides the already established manic-depressive (perfectionist was also discussed in therapy today. yay.) and you know.. a Leo.

So I am exactly two weeks away from the ripe old age of 22 years old. I was born in a small town just outside of Newcastle where i spent my life growing right up until my 19th birthday when I got really, really drunk and decided that moving to the Gold Coast in Queensland would be a “really sick idea dude!”, so I pilled my childhood bedroom into my trusty Corolla and off I went. I began my year here deferring my online uni degree in public relations (a degree I had decided on doing in a round about way a real long time before actually starting) to get settled in my new place which quickly turned into not wanting to go back to online study at all and instead I applied for an internship as an assistant to a Public Relations specialist who ran a consultancy from the inside of her 120 square foot home office as an attempt to get into the business working my way up instead of studying my way up. Turns out- that fucking sucked! ( Don't get me wrong my boss was cool but I had no idea what I was doing half the time so I spent most days pretending to work and secretly utilising the texting function on my laptop to talk to my friends about meeting up at our fav bar later that day to drink endless pints of beer) But! naive me thought maybe it was just that particular setting so instead I enrolled my butt into on campus uni to start a Bachelor of Arts with a major in PR. This is where I thrived in every single subject I took BESIDES the ones related to PR but I still continued to tell myself everything was okay. I got a job working as a barista, a job I still have and a job I still hate but its okay cause it pays my bills and works around uni well and I've met some of the greatest friends I ever could have imagined through it. (these are the things I tell myself on repeat while I'm getting ready at 7am or while I’m dealing with piece of shit asshole customers. “I love my job, I NEED my job” etc.) I do also have a mild coffee addiction so there's always that to keep me going.

Eventually, however, my chemically imbalanced brain took over things slowly began to fall apart. I was obviously miserable at uni and clearly not doing what I was supposed to be doing. Work got gradually worse as my friends began to move on to bigger and better things - amazing for them! devastating for me! I had a relationship that almost ruined me and my depression took over so intensely that when I finally worked up the courage to speak to someone the first thing the doctor says to me was “hmm sounds like borderline agoraphobia to me”. I mean I really don't want to get too deep into my 2018 Brittany breakdown right now but just imagine never leaving the house, like, ever, calling random family members every day to just hysterically cry about nothing, all my hair falling out, the works. Honestly it was fucking rough.

But then came “the change”. That Leo season change that fixes everything!

----SIDE NOTE : Again, I'm not trying to discount my own hard work and the gut wrenching pain that I went through not only in this extremely dark time but also the pain I went through trying to make things better for myself but sometimes its easy to deal with our feeling through comedy and for me this comes through my little astrology/Leo season joke. I know it fake but its my small hope I hold onto - like shooting stars or preying or whatever the fuck you need to do to cope

I started going to therapy- a rocky start but eventually figured out. I made a decision to change my degree. I took my long time love of true crime & murder and combined it with my intense fascination with the human brain and decided to go all out on a DOUBLE degree of psychological science/ criminology & criminal justice. Fun right! To be honest I’d never even thought of putting my crime love into a degree or a career, I just thought I was destined to be the weird kid at the party that actually gets enjoyment from spouting endless gory facts about some really, really fucked up shit. I also did that whole dumb thing of “Well I’m super, SUPER interested in the human brain and all aspects of psychology and how it works and even the physical brain like neuroscience and stuff but oh no way I couldn't study it I'm nowhere near smart enough for that stuff” WHAT THE FUCK! THATS SUCH BULLSHIT! Heads up whoever the heck ends up reading this- if this is regularly your answer to stuff- you're wrong! Have a little faith in yourself and fuck anyone who tells you otherwise and fuck anything that tries to get in your way! A little faith and you'll achieve good things. Now one of the reasons I love Leo Season if because of the unwavering self confidence that usually comes with it. Don't get me wrong I'm still probably the most insecure person you’ll ever meet but during Leo Season there's just this BOOST that happens and suddenly I feel like my real personality starts to actually shine on through. That pink loving, should-have -grown-up-in-the-80′s gal comes out and I feel like the girl having fun who inspired Cyndi to write that song I love oh so much. For example, one night I got super dressed up in my fav very 80s outfit, threw on my favourite over embellished oxfords, some dramatic lightening bolt earrings and I took myself on a date to see the gorgeous Sigourney Weaver in Aliens. Later that night I decide that I loved my own company and my own idea of fun so much that I changed the notes on my dating profile that essentially stated ‘don't bother if you're not this great’ and included a rule about must being willing to sit though endless horror, cult classics and literally anything Winona Ryder has ever starred in. A few days later I recieved a message “But what's your favourite Winona film?” which as it turns out came from the most amazing, generous, funny, gorgeous, sweetest, most perfect, most brilliant, most caring, most phenomenal girl in the entire history, ever was ever will be. 2 months later we moved in together. Leo Season man! It really does it to ya! So anywaaaaaays. Here I am, a year later, enjoying the first days of the seasonal change and getting ready to conquer some great shit and doing it all looking great wearing the most amazing, tackiest 80s loving shit. I didn't realise I could talk this much about myself and honestly I haven't even finished! We still have to cover all my interest - id say like 5 essays per interest, and LORD HELP YOU when we start talking politics cause baby I got some shit. to. say. But I guess all of this will do for now. Talk soon x

#blog #blog post #only-sunday

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 5 years

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Blame It On Your Beats (7)

Chapter Content: Fluff, mushy song.

Summary: A brush with the underworld leads you on a run, away from what was supposedly your normal life, with Bucky Barnes. You two do not seem to be in sync as Bucky tries to keep you alive, trying your best not to kill each other. Or that’s what you think you are doing.

Series: contains smut, adult content in there somewhere in the future chapters so please look at the chapter content and warnings before you proceed.

Chapter Warnings: explicit mention of a sexual act.

A/N: This series is written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s MK Writing Challenge. Thank you so much for hosting. I am having a lot of fun with the prompts. But I am clearly behind schedule. Eep! Thanks for being so patient!

Tags for this fic are open

MASTERLIST

Man, I know that it's hard to digest

But maybe this story ain't so different from the rest

And I know it seems hard to accept

But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets

Bucky could’ve sworn some part of the universe- or the speakers in the bar, probably- was speaking just for him through those words as he entered the soft space. His eyes took in Zemo the redhead, who now stood behind the bar with his phone unfazed as ever, while a blond man poured out drinks for a couple that sat on the bar. One of the two men who sat there, the tanned one, caught him looking in their direction, giving Bucky a casual nod before he turned his head towards the opposite corner where the booths were. Bucky followed his gaze and saw a familiar leg hanging out from below the corner table, the foot strapped in brown gladiators, the thin laces twisted intricately around it like its own form of art.

And I know that it's hard to digest

I really know this shit is as good as it gets

Looking back at the man, he nodded in gratitude before walking towards the last booth. Towards you.

And I know it seems hard to accept

But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets

The afternoon sun was blazing through the window, lighting up the table with its invisible flames, making you glow under the purified reflecting rays. You didn’t see him coming, allowing him to catch you scribbling something on a notepad with a pencil- both, the hotel’s property kept at your disposal- while your phone and the earphones still connected to it remained on the table, a bit away from where you sat.

But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets

Bucky slowed his pace to take in the warmth he watched emanate from you for the first time- even if it was just from the reflecting sun. But just then your burning Y/E/C peaked from under your lashes, making him saunter towards you at what he guessed would be his normal pace.

“Nice shirt,” you commented, pointing the head of your pencil at his sky blue Henley.

“Thanks,” he responded before sitting down to your right, thinking he wanted to keep a measured distance. But what he really wanted was not to block the light from the other side; keep watching you glow like this even though your face carried a sullen taste.

Driving his hands through his hair, he looked at the page you were working on.

“What’s that?”

Your eyes quickly shifted from the paper to him, catching the blue shine at you, making the back of your neck heat up a little. You straightened where you sat, you legs driven back to you as you kept your pencil down and turned the page towards him.

“It’s the symbols on the paper those men were after last night,” you stated, making Bucky turn towards the pad, giving you a window to watch his pale, just-came-out-of-the-shower features, forcing you to catch your breath before it gave away your idiotic musings.

How can someone be so beautiful? You heard your mind.

Didn’t you say that about a centuries-old paper? Your inner voice bounced around in your head.

Yeah, so? He’s a century old too.

Ah! You dirty girl. You do have a type!

Bucky scrunched his nose at the paper, making your heart play the harp with all its strings. “I...this looks more like poetry than symbols. Quite...quite literally.”

You smirked, more for your amusement than his curious eyes that registered the swollen red bags under yours, making a part of Bucky twist at the vivid thought of tears in your eyes.

“I wrote the symbols down as a description that only I can understand. Thought it would seem out of the ordinary if I would just lay it flat over the bar to study it or draw in the notebook,” you admitted, taking the pencil in your hands before the smirk disappeared and a distant look washed over your eyes as you looked at your phone. “You never know who might be watching.”

With an elongated sigh, you passed Bucky a smile before going scratching the back of your neck, paying attention to what was playing in the background.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky’s coarse words had your full attention, making everything around you pause for the instant you let his words seep through your ears up to your brain.

“What?” you heard yourself whisper.

“I am sorry,” Bucky shifted a little towards you, his voice heavy, “for forcing you into doing something you were not comfortable with.”

Just like the tides outside were washing the shores, you felt something warm wash away a part of the heaviness you had been carrying inside you.

“I should not have lied to you,” he stressed, his eyes weighing the truth inside them, “because one wrong decision and you might have died and it would have been my fault.”

You finally let out all air caught inside you, pressing your lips together to prevent them from trembling.

“I’m sorry for being unnecessarily exhausting about you saving my life,” you professed, trying to meet his gaze but faltering eventually.

“It’s my fault, really,” you pointed out, shrugging as Bucky saw you twist your ring on your finger, “none of this would’ve happened if I never left my dorm, never ran into Lena, never let myself be talked into joining some fucked up brotherhood of the night of these underworld goons-”

Your words began to spill out broken as you continued to babble, making a string inside bucky tighten around his chest as he shifted closer to you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered as he brought his flesh hand forward to hold your cold one, “stop.”

“Did you know what you were entering into when...Lena introduced you to whatever it was?”

You looked at Bucky’s delicate blue holding your gaze through the haze building up inside your eyes.

You shook your head.

“Did you know it while you were doing their dirty work for them?”

You shook it again. “But I did do it, didn’t I? People are dead because of me, because of what I did. How am I any different from the ones who fire the bullet?”

And at that moment he realised what Steve must have felt when he had first tried to reason with Bucky how any action of the Winter Soldier was not his fault.

“Because you have a conscience,” he declared, never taking his eyes off you, “You knew the moment it all unravelled in front of you that it was wrong. You helped Scott make his security impenetrable. You stopped him from losing his job, his company, his credibility. You are really not the one at fault here, doll. Trust me.”

I think I'll borrow tomorrow's happiness for today

I lent on the cracks of all this love

And it went away

You took in a good lungful of breaths to calm down and let his words penetrate the wall that was building up inside you. His eyes didn’t leave you for a second, making sure you were actually taking his words seriously.

Why did he have to be such a sweetheart? Wasn’t the whole soldier thing enough to send flutters down my existence?

“Thanks, Barnes.” You blinked away your tears, wiping away whatever little fallout was there with your fingers.

Falling I'm falling I'm falling I'm falling down

Next to you

“Bucky,” he stated, easing back into the cushioned setting behind both of you.

“Hmm?”

“Well,” he decreed moving his shoulders in a casual shrug as his lips played with a smile that teased your eyes, “considering we are married for the week, I figured you should call me by the name I prefer.”

Pin a string in the middle and tie it to my chest

I'm spinning around your five-mile radius, don't look away

You arched your brows in wonder, a soft smile finding its way on your lips.

“Bucky.” The name came off your lips and tongue like a declaration of its own, making that tightened string inside Bucky’s chest tug a, but it a good way, producing a note of its own.

Falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling down

Next to you

The smile he gave you reached his eyes, crinkling the corners even, making the harp inside you haul repeatedly at that one string as if letting you know you were forgetting how to breathe.

“Here you go, wifey,” he gave you a perfect beam, bending a little towards to you, making you pause somewhat in shock at an unmistakable thought passing through your brain-sending quivers down your spine- before you saw him take out a card from his pant pocket and sit back straight, flushing your insides in embarrassment.

He brought forward a plastic card that had nothing but the name S.I. Black.

“Is that what I think it is?” you took the card in your hands to examine the etched chip on the back covered neatly inside the black matte with the glossy magnetic strip running over it.

“Believe it or not, Stark’s emergency kits come with a credit card.”

You laughed in pure amusement.

“Oh, this has Pepper written all over it,” you chortled.

“My thoughts exactly,” Bucky chimed in.

The next two hours passed in buying drinks and snacks at the bar to fill up your hungry stomachs as you explained to Bucky the significance and interpretation of the symbols and how Eton may have been trying to procure an ancient method of creating a new element for the old parchment or OWL as you, Stark and Banner had started calling it, was one of the many old fragments found from the earliest most stable civilisations of the world that had some really efficient methods of purifying metals, making weapons, chemicals and even new alloys from the most impure metals found inside earth.

All the interpretations you could make out, but what you were not able to work with was that there was no order in the information that was coming out in front of you; it was gibberish if not total chaos. You would have driven yourself down the pit of distress had Bucky not slammed the pad shut and told you to take a break.

He left the booth to get you something to relax your nerves, leaving you to stretch your arms and legs as you tried to settle with your glass of water till he came back, while also inviting a pair of bright and curious eyes to your corner.

The couple you’d seen taking pictures of the shore came towards you, their arms entangled in a casual but loving embrace, carrying beers in their free hands.

“Hi!” the girl with the purple hues in her black hair jumped as she waved at you, pure joy dripping from her form, making you reflect the same warmth she was radiating.

“Hi,” you exclaimed, bringing your hand forward for a shake, “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Yukio,” she practically sang, “and this is my love, Sonic!”

“‘Sup,” Sonic gave you a nod, clearly not much of a greetings person.

You asked them to join you at your table, thinking it would be a good distraction from the all the riddled symbols your brain was seeing right now.

“Are you also on your honeymoon?” You couldn’t help but smile at Yukio’s unadulterated enthusiasm, making you think it had barely been a minute but you would die for this girl.

“Yeah,” you nodded, trying to control the heat building inside your cheeks, “he just went to the bar to get us some drinks.” You pointed your gaze at Bucky who- as if out of some telepathic connection- turned his head towards you at the same time, waving at the new company you had just found.

Sonic looked at Bucky with a calculated smirk on her dark tinted lips before flicking her eyes towards you.

“Huh,” was all she let out.

“What?” you didn’t want to but her expression was making it difficult for you to hold back the urge to ask her what she was thinking about your supposed man.

“Nice dude?” she asked rather than answering.

“Hells yeah,” you answered.

“Does the dishes?”

“Mm-hmm.” Technically, yes, he did his dishes. No lie there.

“Treats you good?”

“Yup.”

He sat down with me and heard me ramble about my work even though I am sure half of it went above his head, still nodding and listening with the same enthusiasm as he did when I first started. I’d say he’s treating me quite well.

You took your glass in your hand, happy with yourself, trying to hide your smile with the sip of water.

“Gives you head?”

The water gushed the wrong way, forcing out a cough as your nasal passage and lungs ached at the sensation.

Nothing in this world could have prepared you for this.

“Babe!” Yukio gasped as she started rambling something to her girl in Japanese.

Between your coughing fits and Sonic’s disgruntled moans followed by her eyeroll, you could tell she was being told not ask something so personal with someone they’d just met.

But she just stared at you as you tried to clear your throat and persuade Yukio you were fine. Fantastic, even, while your insides were on fire trying to get the image out of your head.

“She’s clearly tensed, babe,” Sonic stated to Yukio before turning back to you with a nonchalant stare, “You could really use some.”

That’s what I’ve been telling her for ages! Your inner voice grew two sizes at those words.

“She could use what?”

You could feel every cell in your body dry up at the sound of a familiar voice standing right behind you.

Bucky sat down beside you, keeping no distance between you two, letting you feel his cold metal right over your overheated arm, as he kept down his drinks and made acquaintances with the pair sitting opposite you.

“I was just telling her that you needed to go down-”

“DOWN to the shore to gather some sea shells!” you nearly shouted into the air around you. “Cheers!” you announced, clinking your drink to every glass on the table before gulping it down altogether.

Yukio pressed Sonic to leave you and Bucky alone but not before the latter gave you a fistbump before leaving.

The alcohol eased your nerves, letting you breathe in a swirl of colours for a second as you felt your accelerated heartbeat finally slow down.

“So…” Bucky eased himself beside you- gulping down his own drink- his arm still in contact with yours, taking away all the unnecessary heat from your flushed body, “what did she mean when she said if I gave you head?”

____________

A careful explanation of how his super hearing worked, a negation of his constant persuasion of telling him what Sonic had meant, his ultimatum of finding it out from someone else in the hotel, you doing a google search and showing him the specific results for the terminology he was intrigued about and a pair of flushed faces drowning in embarrassment later you two were sitting in the lawn at the back of the hotel lit by fairy lights and fire lamps all around you.

Two faces distinctively red, sitting next to each other on the dinner table, speaking nothing, just enjoying their drinks quietly amongst the mushy crowd seated all around you.

Yukio had especially dragged you away from the gathering to apologise for her partner’s straightforwardness, making you melt at her sweetness there and then. And when she did, you tried to find a way to not go back to your seat any time soon, trying to buy as much time as you could to compose yourself; to get that one specific, extremely crisp image of him in between your legs out of your head.

So you found yourself at the boutique where Louise had taken you in the morning, buying whatever decent clothing you could find for yourself that would help you get through the week. You also ended up buying a royal blue sheen shirt for Bucky for no particular reason except for the fact that you could clearly see him pulling it off.

The twenty minutes away from the all the social setup and keeping up the facade helped your nerves to ease up a bit, allowing you to take a mimosa with from the bar before heading outside and playing pretend again.

Everything seemed to have been going smoothly till the fireworks celebrating some local event started.

You had been standing with Louise and Jamal- the man who had been sitting at the bar with his husband this afternoon- talking about your top five most interesting pieces of history when a loud bang had caught you off guard, making you jump while the cocktail had slipped from your trembling hands. All the buried memories of last night resurfaced as another bang ripped the locks holding back the incident splintered at the sound and the vibration pricking at you violently. The eerie eyes with that unsettling smile came back and so did the sound of cracks developing on the glass as those dead grey orbs tried to hammer their way through the barrier keeping you away from his grasp.

You had felt your breathing falter. The heat turning cold with the ocean’s current brazing you, sending disconcerting shivers down your spine. You were trying to hold on to something in the midst of the unfamiliarity engulfing you in the darkness of the night, Louise and Jamal’s repeated worried words not being of much help.

“It’s just the fireworks, sweetie,” Louise persuaded your figure bent by the garden light.

“It’s alright, I got her.” The familiar husky voice found its way through the growing crowd; you waiting for it to hold you up above the surface of the sea of bad recollection that was trying to drown you.

And suddenly just like the first splash of a warm shower running down your aching skin, you felt the familiar hot and cold arms take you in their embrace. You wasted no time of your own to wrap your arms around the familiar frame you had held last night with every last drop of faith inside you.

“I got you. I got you,” Bucky whispered, his voice vibrating through him near your ear buried in his chest, “breathe. It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here. You’re fine.”

Another firework went off, forcing you to flinch inside Bucky’s hold while he tightened his embrace around you.

“You want to go back upstairs, doll?” he whispered soothingly into your ears.

You nodded, not ready to face anything and anyone else.

“Okay. Alright. Let’s go,” he uttered, his flesh hand easing the goosebumps on the skin of your arm as he wrapped it around you while slowly moving inside the mansion, in the direction of the elevator.

He didn’t bother with the stares or the questions passing as murmurs in the small crowd watching you with keen interest. All he did was grab a bottle of water from the nearest table on his way in from his free arm, the metal files clinking with the glass as you two stepped inside the elevator.

The doors closed and for the first time, you felt the little golden square space to be so welcoming with its haunting silence.

“I-I...uh…” you tried to find words to conjure up a sensible statement to explain him your sudden dissolution in the midst of the dinner party, your mind trying to give him a reason for this precipitous need for his hold, “the um t-the explosion...fire from last night. It was all-”

“Relax,” he whispered near your ear as he rubbed his thumb on your arm, undoing the stretches of the stress right under his touch.

His hold only left you for the moment he had to open the door to the room as you walked inside the space you’d mentally made your own for the next few days and sat down at the edge of the bed.

“Here-” Bucky took out your phone- the earphones still dangling from it- and brought it forward for you to take- “Stark told me some good tunes help you calm down.”

You took the phone from his hands and brought it down in your lap, absent-mindedly pulling at the wire with your fingers.

Bucky stood there, watching you in some deep thought, surprised at the fact that he found himself more at the anguished edges of the cliffs he stood at right now than this morning- when he was sure he couldn’t bear watching you mumble whatever your first thought was, irritating him beyond what he was used to with the rest of the Avengers.

Now, a part of him ached at your silence, wanting to hear you tease him with anything related to deep waters, wishing that you would just charge at him out of the blue just so he could no know you are still here with him.

All he had had in his mind before last night was his image of you with your earphones in, dancing around Banner’s lab while the scientist tried to get your attention, twirling in some deep thought as you would move from one corner of the lab to another to search something, drag your chair, the wheels under it feeling your mood as you would vent out your frustrations on them. All he had known you as was the intern with the headphones, the one who would roam about the halls of the facility at night to go to the kitchen and find some food because- according to Banner- you would make your brain twice than the normal amount, for the research as well as the efforts to keep yourself in sync with the songs inside your head.

Now, you sat in front of him in the dark- the only thing lighting up your features being the yellow glow of the fairy lights gleaming beneath your floor outside the window. It pained Bucky to see you out of your element- and he hated every bit of it.

That’s when the realisation dawned upon him, making him shut his eyes close tightly as he ran his hands through his hair for not grasping it earlier.

He sat down on the edge of the bed beside you, his hands reaching for his pockets in his jeans, coming out, shifting in the dark before he took in a long breath for the things he was about to say.

“Do you know his name?”

The edge in Bucky’s words brought you back to the present, making you turn towards the blue that was dilated in the dark, reflecting the pale yellow at the rims of his pupils like rings of fire burning inside him.

“Did he tell you his name?”

Your hand went back to the tracker around your finger, turning it round and round, before visiting your memories to find what Bucky was looking for.

“His chatroom name was Dex790. I’m guessing it stood for Dexter but that probably would be his code name or something.”

“What did he look like?”

“Bucky, I don’t-”

“Please,” he begged, the fire inside his oceans burning darker, “just tell me.”

For a second you wanted to be scared by the latent rage you saw inside him, but no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t bring yourself to hate him.

“Blonde, Caucasian, square jaw but he had a small face and grey eyes. Like...like they were dead. He had these...perfect white teeth like way too white. Abnormally white. And a very light scar right here, in front of his left ear.”

He nodded in satisfaction at you before dipping his head in his lap.

That’s when you first noticed the light glowing from his phone in his fingers there.

“Did you get that?” he asked, looking at the phone.

“Got it,” Steve’s voice came over the speakers, “Friday’s already begun the search. We’ll get him, Y/N.”

“Hey, Y/N,” Natasha’s faint voice called from a distance, “don’t let the metal guy scare you, okay? He looks threatening but he’s just a fluffy bunny on the inside.”

Bucky snorted at the phone; you could clearly see his cheeks turn colour even in the dim lighting.

“Oh, I think I am the one who’s been scaring him for the last twenty-four hours, Natasha,” you quipped, stretching the corner of your lips before tucking your hair back behind your ear.

“Ooooh,” Sam howled from somewhere, “can I please take her out for coffee when she comes b-”

Bucky cut the call before you could hear how it ended, throwing the phone over to the couch before turning back to your hands still fiddling with your earphones.

“He won’t harm you, Y/N,” Bucky tried to reassure you.

“He was quite clear he wanted to kill me, Bucky,” you countered.

“You think I’d let him?” he retorted, shutting you up with the resolve in his eyes making an unprecedented spirit wash over you.

“Don’t let the fear he created inside your head stop you from doing what you love, Y/N,” he declared in a heavy whisper, making you turn your gaze towards your phone.

“Every time I think of putting on my headphones, all I can think about is him standing behind me, waiting in some corner before I catch him looking,” you croaked, your hands feeling a little tremble in your hands on speaking out your worst thoughts into the air.

“Then let me deal with half of it,” he declared, your eyes following his pale hands as he untangled the beautiful mess and gave you one while keeping the other with himself.

“Now, put on whatever it is that you hear,” he insisted as he secured it in his ear.

A chuckle left your lips, catching him off guard as he stilled his presence to finally breathe in your placid happiness.

“Nah, I don’t think you’ll like it,” you surmised as you opened your phone and then quickly closed it.

“Come on, try me,” he moaned, making you curse at the hum that vibrated down your core that made you bite down on your lips.

Taking one good gulp of air, you opened up your collection and put on your playlist titled I Wonder What The Winter Sun Looks Like.

A click echoing in the ear invites a soothing guitar solo for the two of you.

Alone in a crowded room

My eyes will search for you

You looked at Bucky’s eyes reflecting the waxing moon in the strings of his perfect blues, wondering what you were doing here in his company at this moment when a few weeks earlier you had been sitting at the other end alone with your dark thoughts never even thinking you could actually be in the company of a man who could put the Gods to shame, let alone be comforted by his warm embrace.

Abandoned by my company

I’ll search for what’s in front of me

And hope that I find something new

Bucky was having the same thoughts, wondering how a girl he barely knew a few days ago was becoming more than just a passing thought in his mess of a mind. But you were becoming a delicious heated mess, everything from your eyes to your lips- oh those beautiful lips parted in some wandering thought.

My heart is like the ocean searching

Searching for the shore I’m learning

There must be something more than dreaming

The ocean outside rebelling against the rocks no longer bothered the two of you as you were tired to understand these bizarre torrents building up inside your hearts.

This heart of mine is tired

But my feet will not retire

The alcohol will not suppress

The fear of death and loneliness

I know that I’m not alone

You felt your body let go of a rope inside you preventing you to loosen up in front of your company and found yourself leaning back on to the mattress, letting your body drop onto the feathery lump, ready for it to take away all your stress. You didn’t know what he would think of it, what he would make of it. You just lay there in your state, as you wanted to.

My heart is like the ocean searching

Searching for the shore I’m learning

There must be something more than dreaming

The bed dipped beside you, Bucky’s body coming down next to you, facing you like it was the most obvious thing to do. You too turned your body towards him, the words coming out of the song still intact inside your senses.

I’ve wrestled with the truth for quite some time

But I’ve been drowning in this restless mind

Bucky found himself loosening his own masks in your presence. Watching your fragile gaze searching for something he found riling up in his own stomach. A previously unobserved flutter.

I'm sick of being so unsatisfied

Tell me that the answer’s right

God are you awake at night?

'Cause I've been abandoned by my company

I’ll search for what’s in front of me

And hope that I find something new

You wondered if you were the only one feeling these sensations your voice had been teasing you about the entire time. Was this the thing you were concerned about when you first found yourself in this room with him this morning?

My heart is like the ocean searching

Searching for the shore I’m learning

There must be something more than dreaming

Abandoning all things that were sullen to your minds, both of you find the solace in the soothing songs cradling your hearts in their tunes, the sleep finally coming for both of you as your bodies let the sands of slumber work the magic twice as fast in each other’s company.

My heart is like the ocean searching

Searching for the shore I’m learning

There must be something more than dreaming

Continued Here

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