Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable

First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard

I genuinely believe the fact that so many popular Imogen/Laudna fics are no-powers AU is, if not the main cause, at least a factor in why so many people resist or even are hostile towards any interpretation of Imogen that isn't largely sweet and harmless. Like, write the fic you want, but Imogen in particular is someone so fundamentally shaped by her powers that to write a no powers AU is to write what is essentially a completely original character who happens to share her name.

I think it's made even more obviously a factor because many of those fics try to reconstruct aspects of Imogen's personality by giving her anxiety or agoraphobia (or both) but the problem is that those are purely mental illnesses, rather than something that both gives her powers and penalties (again, the X-Men problem). Some real-world mental illnesses cover the symptoms of Imogen's abilities, but none cover the abilities themselves. It's quite literally a removal of agency: they take away what she can (and frequently does) do with her powers, leaving only the negative effects on her behind while eliminating the negative effects she can have on others. No wonder there's this overwhelming push to woobify her from that corner; they've utterly defanged her and are now crying that other people who can still see her fangs (and even like them) are talking about them.

And the thing is, for all I can be negative about fanon, it is, ultimately, fine - so long one can either keep it separate in one's mind from canon or else remain in a particular fanon sandbox. But unfortunately people leave the sandbox, and when other people respond to the canon Imogen, who as of episode 81 (RIP CRStats) has voluntarily used Detect Thoughts/Open Mind 60 times and has openly stated her intent to use it specifically to know what her party members are doing in advance and theoretically prevent it, the fanfic crowd is utterly unable to react to this intelligently. The idea of Imogen they have is sweet girl with severe anxiety and a goth girlfriend. The problem is this construct exists only in their favorite fanfic writers' domestic fluff modern AU no powers setting. And frankly, I'm not interested in talking about that warped mirror version of her when I could have all the fascination, complexity, glory, and agency of the real thing.

if i see one edit more with the "i hate my mom" (referring to Tori) and then the "..." (referring to charlie because he hates himself) Y'ALL DIDN'T READ SOLITAIRE OR WHAT

Realised that the person I’ve become is a person younger me would’ve looked up to

Essek: *takes weeks and months to research possible local cat pairs will produce a kitten that will suit Caleb*

Caleb: *walking through Rexxentrum one day* *reaches down to what looks like a mud pile and pulls out a hissy kitten* This one. *tucks the still hissing kitten into his coat*

Essek: But it is filthy.

Caleb: Exactly. No one was paying attention to him, but I saw him.

I really like the idea that one of the weird lurkers of your blog (like me) just hangs around looking for inspiration to write papers about. Like I realize that's not how it probably actually went down, but 2017 to 2022 seems like a pretty reasonable lead time from reading your post to conducting the research to writing and publishing the paper.

In reference to this:

It’s amusing that the original post only got 22 notes (likes), but when I looked at it again it had 19, which I’m choosing to interpret as the authors sheepishly withdrawing their likes in order to preserve their anonymity.

I think they probably just googled the phrase “friends to lovers pathway” before using it as the title of their paper and pulled up my post, or the other alternative being that the post popped onto their timeline when they were in the early stages of manuscript prep, and it was a moment of academic serendipity. I definitely don’t think I inspired the work in any way - just the quote and title. But it’s funny to imagine being studied.

I should say that I don’t necessarily expect permission to be asked if people intend to prosper or advance their careers from my words or art. However, I do appreciate the courtesy of being told that it’s happened. So far I’ve been quoted in a published book, quoted to name an academic paper, a person is actively selling plushies and other merchandise based on a post of mine while claiming that it’s their intellectual property actually, and screenshots of my work are regularly considered hilarious enough to steal but not pay me for. (the cricket post in particular was screencapped, went viral on Twitter some years ago without reference to me, was shared around BBC journalist twitter, and hundreds of people in the media industry said things like ‘lol we should pay this person to write’ …. in the apparent ignorance of the fact that if they had asked I would probably be open to…. Being paid to write……… and all the other times my posts have broken containment to go viral on other platforms for other people, with comments about how I should be commissioned to write a book; obviously that’s a normal part of online journalism and media, and I’m not naive about it, but it’s a bit much to for these people to be enriching their platforms with screencapped content, without the OP’s knowledge let alone consent, and joking about how they should pay for it or would read a whole book about it, when they’re the only people who could actually do something about it in the nightmare media landscape.) And nobody told me about any of these examples, I always find out by trying to retrieve links to my own stuff, or by friends telling me that someone else has gone so viral with my recognisable work that it got around to them.

Anyway if you do use my stuff in your own stuff, do let me know! I’m not here to prosper, but I am here to connect, and I’m quite willing to link your paper (and write a lay summary for free), buy your book or art, make your acquaintance, promote your work, or just add it to my portfolio - because if I ever DID want to prosper from my work here, which I wouldn’t usually consider except that it is evidently peer-reviewed good-enough-for-others-to-prosper-from, all of that would be valuable and helpful for me to know.

i love my journals they make me so happy

JOMP Challenge | November 23 | Grateful

This book was an amazing read while I was in a bad place with my mental health. She speaks so openly about her struggling with different mental health problems and there are a lot of amazing lyric quotes from her

My therapist is making me write a whole entire novel journal about everything going on in life so we can check in on it like once every two weeks to once a month and see how we can help me with shit.

It's giving me major "no longer human" vibes and I'm not sure if I like this or not.....

“Moonlighting,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #15.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

A warning for anyone who wants to get into the cosmere books, the best time to start to avoid spoilers for the book coming out next December is now

unpopular opinion maybe but i can't stand these health influencers peddling this bullshit idea of "healing" your nervous system or whatever like it's a one and done experience. as if many mental conditions aren't chronic and life-long. as if you're not just one traumatic experience away from having a wrecked nervous system all over again. as if being "healed" is an achievable goal and a permanent state of being.

i quit my job today bc im going to an inpatient facility all the way in Florida which is funny bc I was just there visiting friends but im in Maryland rn and I go on 4/20 (I picked the date lmao) but now that I've officially quit my job I know what my next step is which is going to an inpatient facility where I can't get any visitors and I'll just be by myself and it's scary to think abt /: :(