crying at the gate boutta board my flight and i just wish i could see them and be with them and have them here but it just isn't meant to be and im sure they'd be over the moon proud of me for making this decision for myself and not being forced to go to a hospital somewhere again. I know this is what's best but it feels so fucking scary. I miss lucy and Caleb and I miss being able to have them here for when I'm scared or anxious or feeling literally anything I just wanna be able to tell them everything but ik they're watching over me and laughing at me for crying about this but hey what can I do. I miss my people and I wish I could have them with me but they're with me in my heart forever and always it's just hard to remember that in times like these.

omw to the airport yall my stomach is killing me with anxiety but ima grown up doing grown up things

leaving at 5:30am to go to the airport for my psychiatric facility inpatient stay!! slay <33 send good vibes loves n prayers my way yall

already throwing up from anxiety and i haven't even been up for 30 mins :(

I wish I could experience the love I give.

fuck how am i gonna get 2 the airport tmrw??? i feel so dumb for not knowing that the metro opens at 7 instead of 5 bc it's a weekend but that shouldn't matter!!! Wtf

genuinely only painting my toenails bc ik at some point my roommate will see my feet and i do not want my dawgs 2 b barking 😤

painting my fingernails and toenails black bc i don't wanna look like a total mess when i come back from going away and while im in there i can b crazy and unwell but ima slay n still b cute :3c genuinely going insane and ik they'll mess with my meds n reevaluate me so that's gonna be fun!! can't wait 2 spend my 420 like that by choice love this for me

tfw ur literally delusional and going crazy but big chillin at the same time :P uwu :3

new suicide boys @ mighnight slay at least I'll be here for that

yall ever be losing your fucking mind but chilling at the same time

i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet.

me : gm hav a good day!! <33 :D

me (internally) : i want to die but you make me want to die less but sadly i still want 2 die would u watch me kms? would u care?

why am i so fucked up in the head godddd ion like me either so what ever , idc idc idc

also love how my mom has life insurance on ME and not my brother