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#bestie you're so right on so many levels
jensons-buttons · 2 years
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hmm is it ‘coddling’ or is it pointing out documented systematic unfairness and expecting better of a team that were so desperate to sign him you would think they would treat his career with a modicum of respect? 🤔
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astralazuli · 28 days
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So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.
& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.
& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.
Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.
#I don't Believe many things#because I prefer to stay open to new perspectives#& think that a balanced approach to life involves embracing a certain level of ambiguity in reality#but the things I do Believe in?#Oh I Believe them with all my heart.#I don't know how my belief system will change in the future#But I do know that above all else I believe in Kindness#Kindness to yourself Kindness to everyone around you Kindness to nature#The point of society is to ensure Everyone is treated well & can enjoy existence as much as possible#The point is Joy. The method is Kindness.#& if you aren't fighting for Everyone to be taken care of & respected & treated with Kindness#then I am not interested in your revolution.#If you hate the people against you more than you love the people you're fighting for?#You're missing the goddamn point.#(Please note I'm speaking of Kindness as a separate concept from Niceness.)#(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.)#(But I feel like a lot of people mistake that concept for an excuse to deny those they disagree with Kindness.)#(& my dudes you don't actually have principles if they only apply to people you like & agree with.)#There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like.#While I am not free right now due to my various axes of oppression & the oppression others face#I'm also not gonna be free if we straight up murder & imprison the current oppressors#Trading one oppressive system for another isn't actually all that radical???#Just 'cause you think 'the right people' are being oppressed doesn't make oppressing them okay?#Like I'm a leftist because I believe Literally Everyone should be allowed to live whatever fulfilling life they want#so long they as aren't doing a damage to someone else in order to do so.#Not because I think I think the wrong people are oppressed.#Hm now that I've written this fucking essay on ethics in my tags#I am seeing Bestie & Birdfriend's points...#Birdfriend legit said that I'm the '**smacks others while screaming** BE! KIND! TO! EACH! OTHER!' type of Paladin.#I guess they were right.
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celaenaeiln · 10 months
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Please talk more about B & D’s “unable to be defined/labeled dynamic/relationship as it encompasses many labels yet at the same time cannot be fitted to just one label” dynamic 🙏
I'd be delighted to!!
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In the previous post I had included a panel where Bruce is referred to Dick as his "surrogate father, mentor, friend, and partner." These words could not be more different from each other and while they should not be used in conjunction with each other, they have never suited these two people more. In fact I don't there is any character pairing in any fandom that has the same dynamic that these two have. Dick and Bruce's relationship has a complicated depth to it that Bruce and the rest of his children don't have.
I think the most confusing thing is when Bruce constantly confuses Dick being a son and a partner.
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First thing I want to start off with is that Dick and Bruce used to sleep in beds so close together it looks like one bed. In the 1950's this arrangement was known as the "twin beds" which were typically used for married couples. Children slept in a separate bedroom which begs the question why Dick and Bruce had a sleeping arrangement similar to that of marriage partners. This is the first weird thing about their relationship.
Not to mention, the romantic boat rides they used to take together. But was this normal then between father and son or is it just a romantic thing now, I don't know. As well as when they decided bronzing themselves naked next to each other. Not really sure what was going on there, if it was acceptable during that time or what but I do know that the reason that creators decided to send Dick to college in 1970 was because they wanted to beat the gay batman and robin allegations. It's weird as hell that they even came up with these ideas. Also the robin crossdressing. For justice, am I right?!
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I feel these instances are important because it breaks any barriers they have between them. They're so (platonically for me) intimate that there's nothing but each other in their souls. One of the key reasons that their relationship is vague and intense and encompassing.
Dick is also considered Bruce's partner intellectually.
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Instead of Dick listening to Bruce and following behind, as it's often shown in robin comics, they talk on equal terms. There's other moments of this shown too:
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I think this is the reason why Bruce considers Dick a partner. He's not only exceedingly intelligent, but he even at a young age he's able to keep up with Bruce's thought process as an equal when even the justice league and other major adult heroes fail to do. Bruce's inventions are Dick's inventions because they played an equal role in creating them. This is why he's called the Prodigal Son.
Now onto him being a best friend and a son mix.
We know the classic example of Dick expecting to be Bruce's best man and Bruce thinking the same. But there are other moments that indicate that too.
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But it isn't one sided because Dick also sees Bruce as his best friend:
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Dick punching Bruce in the throat and single handedly carrying him like a sack of potatoes is just funny as hell.
Also including the fact that Dick and Bruce embody sleepover, besties behavior:
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BUT HERE'S WHERE IT GETS JUICY.
Having your child act as your bestfriend is terrible for your child's mental health.
I'm speaking from personal experience but when your parent trauma dumps their life onto you at a young age, you mature emotionally much faster than you're supposed. You start becoming aware of people's thoughts and emotions at a deeper level and you start attuning yourself to others. In layman's terms: you change yourself to be able to meet your parent's high expectations and act as an emotional sponge for their anger, sorrow, disappointment, and frustration about their own life.
I'm not hesitant to admit that Dick's manipulation tactics most likely stem from this behavior. He knows what he wants and he will do anything to get it. This doesn't mean he's a bad person though. In fact I give him the highest level of respect of any character because all his intentions are good. He doesn't cheat, lie, or trick people into killing themself or harming others or bringing them down. He does it to make their lives better which is-I'm sorry, I don't have the proper words to express the multitudes of emotion I'm feeling for that.
(I nearly went into a massive monologue about how other people view his manipulation but that's for another post. )
This is also where things get complicated, and why we know Bruce and Dick as the way they are.
Dick has become so emotionally and mentally adept that he's able to pick up on others' thoughts and attitudes (Bruce specifically) before they even realize them. This is why Bruce is so dependent on Dick for everything. In one comic Garth says "Dick's a good listener."
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I'm going to deviate for a minute here and include a panel that shows how this personality trait affects Dick's other roles:
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Speaking more about Bruce's impact on Dick, there's this:
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Aside from the huge ass painting on the wall of just the two of them-the panel is another perfect example of the complicated depth to them. They see each other as equals and when something interferes with that perception, then they start having problems. It haunts Bruce that the 8yr old he took in is equally matched to him in skill and ability but he also recognizes that Dick is too young to be able to do so. He should not have to experience the pain and responsibility of an adult but Bruce can't just get rid of him because Dick is the only one capable of keeping up with him. His heart also breaks when Dick is away (he starts crying in a panel multiple panels as Dick is leaving). For Dick he's already far used to the roles and responsibilities that he doesn't consider his age a factor as to why Bruce refuses to let him do the same things. This is a source of miscommunication between them. Bruce knows Dick can succeed at anything given to him but feels he shouldn't have to deal with those things. And Dick doesn't understand the hesitance when he's proven to have accomplished those tasks and greater before.
To expand, Dick's relationship with Bruce reminds me of Slade's relationship with Billy Wintergreen when Deathstroke tells him "You've been with me through everything...but now I have to say goodbye when you're unconscious or else I can't do it." Or something along those lines, the vibes are the same.
Oh yes, and this scene too:
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Which mimics a lot of the confusion other characters have over Dick and Bruce's relationship.
But the difference between Slade and Billy vs Dick and Bruce is that Dick and Bruce's relationship is blurred on ALL fronts. There's not a single moment where Bruce has viewed Dick strictly as a son.
This leads me into the mentor aspect.
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Note: while Dick knows Bruce the best, Bruce also knows Dick the best of all his children. There's a certainty to the way he speaks about Dick's abilities that he lacks when discussing his other sons'. That doesn't mean he doesn't know what they can do-he well aware and knowledgeable-it just means that his relationship with and understanding of Dick far exceeds what he has with the others.
Holy crap there's so much I'm bouncing all over the place-let me go back for second to partners.
Everyone knows this iconic scene whether you're in the fandom or not:
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But few people know what comes next-
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From the dawn of Batman and Robin comics, Batman has been obsessed with controlling Dick. I don't understand why he doesn't use his manipulative tactics on anyone else. There's a comic panel where Dick tells Barbara, "...you and Bruce don't need to manipulate me into doing what you guys want." It was always his way or the highway with him and Bruce reflects on this again in Batman and Robin Eternal. Dick also tells Bruce he's being pig-headed during the 1966 comic version of the Warner Brother's film and when Bruce asks him "Am I really pig-headed?" Alfred goes "hell yeah." Essentially.
(Also going to sneak this in as another example of why Dick wasn't an angry robin to a previous post
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)
Ofcourse Bruce seems him as a son too:
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THE FULL ON SMILE HE HAS ON HIS FACE JUST LISTENING TO DICK TALK!!!
Also in the linked previous post there's the panel of Bruce begging the judge not to take away his son from him. "Dick is like my own son!I've even changed my will so that incase of my death, Dick will get my entire fortune! You honor, I...I love that boy! Please don't take him from me!"
We already know many references about Dick being labelled Dick's son so I'll leave this aside for now.
Now here's the main point- the way Bruce and Dick interact with each other has so much history they're unable to explain themselves to others or each other. There's so many complex emotions between the two of them that sometimes even they're confused.
But seriously. What is your obsession with Dick, Bruce?
Lemme explain.
As everyone knows Dick and Clark are best friends. They are so close to the point where Bruce actually sweeps the stuff off his desk in the batcave and says "LET ME JUST GET RID OF ALL OUR TROPHIES. I'LL JUST MAKE ROOM FOR THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN AND ROBIN INSTEAD!"
WTFFFFF BRUCE. WHY ARE YOU GETTING JEALOUS OF YOUR 15YR OLD'S FRIENDSHIP?
Oh, yes, what trophies am I talking about? Trophies of their battles together of course!
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Which means the batcave is memorabilia of their time together. You know what that also means? It means that Bruce sulks in the Batcave because in the cave, he can literally surround himself with the time he spent with Dick.
Bruce is so abnormal about Dick. He sees Dick as an all in one. Every single relationship category you can think of, Bruce has bundled it up and put it into Dick. If all their various relationships became a physical string, Bruce would have a leash on Dick that resembles a thick, corded rope. So if you cut one thread of, say, friendship, the rope won't tear become the other threads of partnership, family, and other ambiguous threads would still hold them together.
Bruce has a leash on Dick but something Dick doesn't know and Bruce won't admit is that Dick has a leash on him too.
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HERE'S THE INSECURITY WITH DICK AGAIN. THE MAN THINKS THE WORLD OF DICK BUT HE'S HORRIFIED AT THE THOUGHT, AT THE POSSIBILITY, THAT DICK DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME OF HIM.
He's constantly seeking reassurance of his place with Dick through the only way he knows how-manipulation. While Bruce consistently distances himself from his son, he's doing it on purpose so Dick will come running back to him. I mean-isn't that what he did with Jason? Expelling Dick in fury and fear and not telling Dick about taking in a new robin?
In the comic Dick drops by and tells him "I found out through a newspaper and since I haven't been robin..." to which Bruce responds horrified and guilty. He knows what he's doing. He just doesn't want to get caught as to why.
Others have picked on this obsession he has with Dick too:
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Someone clearly knew the importance of Nightwing to Batman. They knew what his death would do to him. And in response Bruce went out of his way-to a foreign land-just to take revenge on the man who almost took “his boy” away from him. Leaving with a parting promise, an oath, to hunt down the other one and leave him crippled for life too. Did Batman know KG Beast would survive or did he just leave it up to fate?
In the previous panel, apart from KG Beast calling Dick "your boy" to Batman, it's only implied though. So how do we know if Dick really does have that much weight to Bruce? Well not only is it confirmed, it is engraved in stone:
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And when the blast nearly kills Dick, Bruce nearly kills the man who did it. WITH A GUN.
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Also him trying to strangle Lex Luthor to death before Lex chokes out in between stolen gasps that Dick's not actually dead but he will be if Bruce continues.
Did you know that the dead Robin in the Superman vs Batman movie was confirmed to be Dick? Yeah. That says a lot right there.
Brothers
I'm not going to get into their brother relationship because that involves how Alfred treats Dick as a son rather than a grandson and is opening a whole new mansion of stuff so I'm going to wrap this up here and say the two of them are a LOT.
Bruce and Dick's relationship is impossible to define and that's why they keep ending up fighting. Their relationship doesn't have clear boundaries and since each type of relationship (brotherhood, father/son, partnership, friendship, colleagues, idols&pedestals) has it's own unique problems, and because the two of them alone are all those things, they have all the problems of each of these categories combined. But they also have all the benefits. Inseparably entwined these two.
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nori-the-cat · 1 month
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RIIZE Park Wonbin as a Boyfriend
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Cards: the hermit, three of wands, three of pentacles, seven of pentacles, king of wands, temperance, knight of cups, queen of pentacles, three of cups, the lovers, nine of pentacles, seven of cups, five of swords and ten of wands.
Remember, this is just my interpretation based on the tarot spread. All of this is alleged and for entertainment purposes only. Take it with a grain of salt. This was a requested reading.
With his love for fashion, dream of becoming a sushi chef, and secret desire to work at a clothing store, Park Wonbin is a man of many talents. It's no wonder so many fans are curious about what it would be like to date him.
Dating Wonbin would be like dating a low-key adventurer with a side of introvert. He probably loves his chill time and might not be all over you right away. Don't worry though, this quiet dude could secretly be a thrill-seeker.
Wonbin seems super chill when it comes to relationships. No drama, just teamwork. He'd be down to chat late-night about anything and don't be surprised if he shows you he cares with cute little surprises. Plus, this dude might be a natural leader, the kind who plans exciting date nights and weekend getaways. Basically, dating Wonbin would feel like having your bestie by your side, always down to conquer whatever comes your way, even if it's just trying that new ramen place you've been eyeing. Super low-key vibes with a side of excitement? Sounds like a win-win.
Imagine this: It's Friday night and you're curled up on the couch with Wonbin, takeout containers scattered on the coffee table. You're both wrapped in cosy blankets, chatting about a movie or documentary you just watched. He laughs softly at a particularly funny scene, his smile making your heart flutter. You steal a glance at him, wondering what adventure he might be planning next.
Hold on, gotta unpack Wonbin's boyfriend vibes! This dude seems all about finding that ~balance~ in a relationship. You know, like open communication, patience, and understanding each other's feelings? Super chill. Plus, he's probably a romantic sweetheart – think cute gestures and remembering important dates.
Dating Wonbin would be like building a dream team. He'd be your rock, your hype man, always there to support you. He'd probably love going on adventures with you, trying new things, and just soaking up quality time together. Basically, Wonbin's looking for the real deal, someone to connect with on a deeper level. Deep feels and all that! Sounds pretty promising, if you're into that kind of thing.
Imagine this: You were having a terrible day. The presentation at work went south, and your favourite coffee shop was out of your usual latte. Dragging your feet through the door, you braced yourself for Wonbin's usual warm greeting.
Instead, he just smiled softly, his eyes holding a warmth that melted away your stress. He handed you a steaming mug decorated with a tiny heart drawn in chocolate syrup. "Rough day?" he asked, his voice gentle. You took a sip, the rich coffee and sweet chocolate instantly lifting your spirits. "The worst," you mumbled, a small smile playing on your lips.
Wonbin pulled you into a hug, his arms strong and comforting. "Let's forget work for a bit," he whispered. "How about we order takeout and build a blanket fort for a movie marathon?"
Another plus point about Wonbin is his provider mindset. Wonbin sounds like a total #adulting boyfriend! Financial security? Check. Taking care of his commitments? Double check. In a relationship, this dude's got his life together and wants to make sure you're comfy too. Imagine a partner who always pays their share (and maybe even surprises you with takeout sometimes). Plus, Wonbin's all about clear communication – no mind games here! He'll tell you straight up what's on his mind, which can be super refreshing in a relationship. Basically, dating Wonbin would feel mature and drama-free. You know exactly where you stand, and he's always got your back (and your feelings!). Sounds pretty ~adulting goals~, right?
Okay, so Wonbin isn't perfect (but who is, tbh?). Here's the tea on his chill vibes with a side of maybe-not-so-chill. Wonbin might take a while to decide, you know, like what movie to watch or where to eat. And don't be surprised if he has some idealistic expectations about love – gotta manage those butterflies! Commitment might take a while too, so patience is key.
Another thing about Wonbin is that he might be a bit of a control freak sometimes, wanting to do everything himself. Relationships won't always be sunshine and rainbows with Wonbin, but that's kind of normal. He might take on too much sometimes and forget to ask for help (like, hello teamwork!), and there might be some bumps along the road together. The good thing is, Wonbin's probably down to communicate openly. So, even if you argue sometimes, you can work through it together.
Basically, dating Wonbin would be real, with ups and downs, but hopefully more ups! It all depends on whether you're cool with a chill but indecisive boyfriend who's a sweetheart but needs a reminder to delegate.
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Channelled songs:
These songs remind me of him.
Note: This is a requested reading from @theridderhoe
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When We Are Together - Matty Healy
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Summary: In which Matty falls in love with you in stages his entire life. He knows everything is better when you're together but the two of you are oblivious to the fact you're in love with each other.
Warnings: Swearing. A small section of smut in flashback 2. Unfortunately it's not with Matty. It's with George because I am a whore. Mentions of The S*n. Mentions of Matty going to rehab, obviously we don't know all the personal details apart from the fact there was an intervention after the ilwys era ended and he went and now he's in recovery.  
Author's Note: Self proclaimed 'Not a Matty girl' just wrote 12K lol this has legit taken so long cause I procrastinate but hope you like it!  Really fucking long because I tend to let my mind wonder, I don't even know if this is any good but I'm trying to get better. I thought the concept was cute anyway. So enjoy! Let me know what you guys think and if you liked it x
Word Count: 12K
Your life had always been surrounded by the boys. So many moments in your life that their fans could only ever dream of knowing about or being involved in but you didn’t know any different, it was just your life. You had no choice in the matter when your brother and best friend in the entire world was the bassist in the band. That’s right; Ross MacDonald was your big brother and you seemed to be somewhat of a legend amongst their hardcore fanbase yourself for putting up with their antics for as long as you had! Not that you really had a choice when you were tied to them via blood but they had also hired you as their personal assistant so you could follow them around the world and so none of them had to part from you for too long.
You had personal relationships with all of the band, not just your brother who genuinely was the best big brother you could have ever asked for. He was your best friend and had been since the moment you were born. Sometimes it irritated the others how annoying the two of you were when you both got into silly moods, with all your inside jokes and side looks that nobody else understood. Especially Matty who always wanted in on the joke. But Ross was a ride or die kind of guy and you were the same. If it came down to it you would fight over who took the first bullet.
Adam Hann. Adam truly was an angel of man sent to earth to be your bestie and you don’t think you could love him anymore if you could. Someone you could geek out about The Office with on the tour bus and who brought you coffee when he could see you needed a pick me up. The most level headed of the boys, you know he’ll always be on your side. Someone who’s come to your rescue during many nights out both pre and post fame and took your hand, pretended to be your boyfriend with no questions asked and got you away from creeps more times than you would have liked. You couldn’t be more grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann.
George Daniel. Your ‘little’ Georgie had been in your form at school, so apart from your brother until you were much older and started hanging out with them more, you had spent the most time with him. So it’s fair to say that the pair of you were close. So close that you lived with him and Matty in your early twenties. Even a small indiscretion on his 23rd birthday much to your brother’s dismay didn’t change the course of your relationship. Now that you were both thirty two and you were still working for him, clearly the two of you didn’t care that you had seen each other naked. If anything your night together all those many moons ago had brought you closer together. You would trust him with your life.
Then there was Matty. Matty was something else. If you asked his fans, depending on if you were asking old or new fans. He was something else in two senses of the word. To you he was just Matthew. Your big brother’s best friend who was a bit of a weird kid, transitioned into a somewhat cool teenager who you had a bit of a crush on when you were seventeen, to the most annoying person you’ve ever laid eyes on. But also he was your best friend. An old married couple is what George labeled you both and he wasn’t wrong, the pair of you did have a bit of a domestic life together when he wasn’t busy being a rockstar. 
I think the fans would be shocked to find out he likes doing the mundane things in life like doing the food shop with you and fighting at the tills that it was his turn to scan his club card. Or walking the dog, drinking a good cup of tea at his Mam’s house or cooking with you over a glass of wine with Donny Hathaway playing in the background on the record player.
He had done so much for you over the years and you always thought it was just Matty being Matty and looking out for you. Hiring you as the band’s assistant, so you could see the world with them so you weren’t stuck in a stuffy office job in England. Even though you had graduated from uni with a first class degree in photography. Moving you into his home when you broke up with your long term boyfriend in 2020 so you weren’t wallowing in self pity. It was probably then, that George cemented your “marriage status” because you did do everything together and apparently you had been oblivious your entire friendship until now.
It was in this moment in Belfast on the last night of the UK tour that your head swimming with all of the moments in your life that led you to here with Matty, tears brimmed with tears. That you realised that it was him the entire time.
April 2007
You pulled the front of the white tank top you were wearing down, allowing the frilly cups of your red bra to peek out the top. Your top tucked into a short black mini skirt, paired with a big chunky belt and hoop earrings and some wedged sandals on your feet. You actually felt good about yourself for once! You, Sarah and Rebecca ready to get drunk and dance your asses off with all of your friends as you celebrated Matty’s birthday.
Matty’s 18th birthday party was being held at his house. A classic Healy house party yet you still wondered how Denise and Tim were somehow trusting him enough for the night to not burn the house down so he could celebrate his birthday with his friends without parental supervision.
You of course had yet to turn eighteen, as had your brother who was only eleven months older than you. So you turned to your lord and saviour Adam Hann who went to the local off license and bought you a pack of Bacardi Breezers for the party.
When the three of you arrived; you immediately got swept away by your other school friends, giggling at the thought of getting drunk with all your friends and making out with boys your brother would definitely disapprove of was the motivation you needed to open your first drink of the evening.
It was after a few drinks, definitely too many shots of whatever George had proclaimed Matty’s Dad’s had left for the birthday boy. You were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol you had drunk that evening when you spotted Max. Tall, brunette, curly hair and a killer watt smile that made you weak at the knees, talking to George.
Silent motivation from Phoebe as she ruffled her hands through your hair and pushing your tits into a good position as Sarah dabbed on some more lip gloss before pushing you in the direction of the boys, slapping your ass with a quick “Go get him tiger!”
Shooting her a grin over your shoulder, you strutted on over to where George and Max stood clutching their beer bottles as they conversed about god knows what. Hoping to catch his attention, you threw on your best smile as you stopped in front of the two of them. 
“Hello boys!” You beamed a the two of them, eyes lingering on Max a little longer. “Having a good night?”  You asked, twiddling the straw around your drink as you waited for their answer.
“Even better now you’re here gorgeous!” 
Your heart fluttered for a moment. Max was flirting back.
“Your tits are looking mega tonight babe!” 
George broke your eye contact with the tall brunette as your eyes flitted towards him. The blush flushing across your cheeks at George’s compliment, “Ohhh thanks G!”  You laughed awkwardly, catching his eyes fall to your tits once more just as Ross walked past the three of you.
“Dude! That’s my sister!” He punched him in the arm; a scowl on his face and immediately pulling you away with him and far away from the boys and into the crowd of people dancing in Denise and Tim’s living room.
“You’re no fun!”  You huffed.
“You can do a lot better than Max sis. Believe me! I’m just looking out for you.” 
He smiled softly at you and you sighed, knowing you couldn’t ever stay mad at him. He knew you better than anyone else and always looked out for you no matter what. “Thanks bro.  I know. I’m just going to get some fresh air, it’s a bit stuffy in here.” 
You sent him a smile, squeezing past him and all the other sweaty bodies to head out the sliding doors at the back of Matty’s kitchen. Letting out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding as the cool spring air brushed over your skin. Taking in the serenity of the night air, you didn’t realise anyone else was out there until you heard a cough causing you to snap your head towards the noise.
Matty was leaning up against the back wall, cigarette hanging from his lips.
“Alright birthday boy! What you doing out here by yourself?” You laughed lightly as you approached; leaning next to him as you took in the slightly solemn look on his face.
“Bit overwhelming in there. Thought I’d like the attention but there’s too many people. Half of them are just here to get drunk, they don’t care about me.” He laughed bitterly; blowing smoke into the air. “Anyway. What are you doing out here?”
“Just needed some air. It was a bit stuffy in there. Too many people.”
“Ahhh so we’re alike in our thinking.” Matty laughed. “Wish it was just you and the boys to be honest.” He mumbled, shuffling his feet.
“Hey. You know if you want we can have a do over. Come over to mine and Ross’ tomorrow. We’ll order pizza and watch True Romance. I’d hate for you to not look back fondly at your 18th.”  You smiled softly as you spoke.
“You’re brilliant.” Matty’s eyes bright as he looked at you. “I’d really like that. Thanks sweetheart.”  Matty shot you a genuine smile for the first time since you stepped outside.
A brief moment of silence settled across the two of you before Matty spoke again.
“You look incredible tonight.”
“Ohhh.” You looked down at your feet, unsure of how to take the compliment.
“Hey.” Matty lifted your chin up. “What’s all that about? You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.” He said earnestly; swiping at the apples of your cheeks and holding your jaw in his hands.
“Just didn’t think anyone could look past the fact I’m Ross’ sister. Nobody ever calls me beautiful.”
“Not even Josh? Didn’t you date him for nearly a year?”  Matty asked as you shook your head.
“Then he’s an idiot. You’re always the most beautiful girl in the room darling.”
“Matty.” 
It came out a whisper as you both stared into each other’s brown eyes. Matty’s eyes dancing across your features, settling on your lips before looking back up and catching your gaze already on him. Matty leaned in, his face getting closer to your own as your mind started racing. 
Did you want to kiss Matty? Kinda, yeah! 
Should you kiss Matty? No, definitely not. Ross would kill the both of you. 
Did you kiss Matty? Yes.
“We shouldn’t.”  You whispered, lips mere inches away from his own.
“But a birthday kiss is all I want this year.” 
His words came out of a whisper, you didn’t say anything else just pushed your lips against his and allowed him to pull you closer as his mouth moved against the softness of your glossed lips. His hands moving from your face, dancing down the sides of your body and landing on your waist before he reluctantly pulled away, forehead resting against your own.
“You’re good at that.” He pecked your lips once more.
“Mmmm.”  You hummed; opening your eyes as Matty held you close. You quickly opened your mouth to say something and promptly shut it again when you caught the way Matty looked at you. “Fuck it!” You mumbled and slammed your lips back against his own.
The birthday boy now pushing you up against the wall, hands impossibly tight on your waist as he pulled you as physically close as possible. Your hands uprooting themselves in the hair at the back of his neck and tugging as you snogged him like your life depended on it. Like you weren’t pushed against the back of his kitchen wall in his garden, where any of your school friends could come out and catch you. Or worse; your brother but you didn’t care because the way Matty was kissing you made your whole body tingle.
Tugging his hair again as his tongue moved against your own. Matty groaned loudly; finally pulling away. “Fuck settle down! You know I can’t be found with you and if you keep doing that, someone is going hear us.” He groaned as he continued to pepper kisses up the side of your jaw.
“Hmmm, don’t feel like being murdered by my brother right now.”  You sighed; leaning back against the wall to take him in. Lips swollen and eyes bright as he watched you.
“I don’t want to be murdered by your brother either. Worst birthday ever!” He chuckled; hands dancing across your waist. “But that was my favourite birthday gift! Thanks sweetheart!” Matty grinned; watching you push yourself off the wall and smooth yourself down before heading back towards the house.
You paused for a moment; your foot on the last step, your hand lingering on the handle to the back door for a millisecond as you looked over your shoulder one last time at Matty who was just watching you. You sent him a soft smile, your hair falling in front of your face as you laughed before leaving him the dark as you rejoined the party.
A kiss with Matty who was your big brother’s (and your) annoying friend, someone you had an innocent schoolgirl crush on once he started becoming a tiny bit cool as the lead singer in their band. Something you didn’t think was an overly big deal, after all people kiss people they shouldn’t when they’re drunk all the time. Turns out it was the starting point of the trajectory of how your’s and Matty’s story begun.
March 2013
In the midst of releasing a series of EPs and gigging around the country and building up their hardcore fanbase. You had managed to get the boys all to just relax for a moment and celebrate the release of their Music for Cars EP and the fact that it was George’s 23rd birthday this weekend. And how did you celebrate? The only way you lot knew how, a dirty ole’ house party just like the good old days.
You had managed to squeeze God knows how many people in little flat you shared with George and Matty. As far as flatmate’s go, they weren’t all that bad. You had moved in with them straight after university so you had definitely had worse.
You had just downed what you believe was your fifth vodka shot of the evening and decided you needed to pace yourself a bit more if you weren’t going to stumble into your room and pass out any time soon. So upon spotting Ross, you wondered over to your brother who was sat talking to Hann; wiggling your way in between the two of them with a giggle. Ross automatically lifting his arm for you to slip under as you nursed the rest of your wine at a slower pace until your glass was empty.
After your head stopped spinning a sufficient amount, you found yourself milling about the flat and smuggling yourself into Matty’s embrace as he poured you another glass.
“Enjoying yourself sweetheart?” 
“Mmm. Have you see the birthday boy?” You felt Matty’s lips pressed to the top of your head as you asked.
“You leaving me already?”  He chuckled. “Think he popped out the back for a cig.” 
He motioned towards the back door. You immediately unravelled yourself from him, a kiss smacked against his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. Not that you noticed in your flurry but Matty did. The longing for the feeling of the two of you had shared in his back garden prickling at his chest as his eyes locked onto your retreating figure as you rushed through the throng of remaining people in the kitchen and exiting the flat.
Matty was right. You found George smoking out the back in your little tiny back garden under the dying glimmer of your shit security light that was attached to your back wall. Turning in your direction at the sound of the back door shutting, George automatically opened his arms for you to slot into his side, arm hung loosely over your shoulder as he let out the smoke he had just inhaled. Wordlessly placing the cig in your mouth to let you take a drag yourself, you passed it back and forth between the two of you in silence.
Stubbing the end into the brick, George dropped it into the bucket of dirty filters before breaking the silence. “God what time is it?”  He asked as you watched him push the balls of his hand into his eyes.
“Nearly 2am! Why you need to go to bed Grandad?!”
“Fucking maybe?! How many people are left?” The now blonde motioned towards the house.
“Only a few. Heard Sally talk about some of them heading into town on the way out and Luke and Helen have to be up early so they left nearly a hour ago. Just the band and about three other now. You ready to head in birthday boy?” You asked; holding out your hand for him to take with a smirk.
With a silent nod George didn’t hesitate to grab onto your hand as you tried not to trip over the many plant pots that were littered across your garden path. “You given me my birthday present yet? I can’t remember?” You turned to look at the drummer. An amused look on your face because he had given you the brightest smile when he had opened the personalised drumsticks you had gotten him earlier. “Or are you my present? Wait is this an ambush?” George gasped. “Please be an ambush!” He grinned at you.
“You should be so lucky!”  You scoffed; before shooting him a smirk as you opened the the kitchen door.
“Your tits look mega in that dress by the way!” His tone smug as he closed the kitchen door behind him. Your only response being the cackle that left your mouth as you left George to watch you walk away as you joined the rest of the band in the living room.
Lucky indeed because once the remaining guests left about twenty minutes later. You had snuck into George’s room to say good night and wish him a happy birthday and it’s how you found yourself currently with aching arms. As they were locked either side of George’s knees, his hands tight on your waist as you bounced on his cock.
You weren’t sure how long you had been in this position. You do know he had already made you cum twice though. Once on his tongue and once with his fingers but my God were you spiralling towards your third. The thick drag of his cock between your legs as he stretched you out was delicious but you needed to cum quick because you weren’t sure how long you could stay in this position for.
“Jesus Christ! So fucking good George!” You wailed; as George’s thumb swiped through the slick between your legs and rubbing at your clit.
“Feel good baby?”
“Yes. Shit! So good!” You panted. “Arms hurt though, fuck.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He said; pulling you forward.
You fell forward at full speed; having to catch yourself on either side of his face to stop yourself from head butting him as his large hands moved from your hips to grab on to the globes of your ass before plowing up into your cunt so fast you saw stars dance under your eyelids. All you could do was shake and babble out a string of, “So good. So good. So good.” As George made you cum again.
Pulling out quickly. You had no time to recover as George flipped you over; face already in his pillows as he pushed back into you as he chased his own orgasm. The drag of his cock made you feel delirious at the speed in which he was fucking you back into the mattress.
“Fucking hell. You’re so good G! Yes! Yes! Yes!”  You screamed into the mattress, really not caring that your mutual best friend was on the other side of the wall.
His name fell from your lips like a chant. You hadn’t been fucked this good in forever, if at all and the fact it was your Georgie made your head spin.
“Come on baby. One more and I’ll give it to you.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder before pulling you back on to his cock at rapid speed and sending you hurtling towards your fourth orgasm of the night (well morning) and George to fill you up with a satisfied groan.
Pulling out; your gentle giant rolled over, the pair of you catching your breath after fucking for a good hour. Rolling your head to the side to take him in, you pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder with a chuckle. “Happy Birthday G!” 
The now blonde let out a loud laugh as the pair of you snuggled into each other’s arms, like you would normally do under any other circumstances as George pressed a kiss to the side of your face. The temporary bliss shielding you both from the circumstances you’d have to face in the morning.
When you did manage to wake up the next morning, George was still fast asleep but his alarm clock read 10:12 and you knew you’d have to get up to tidy the flat because Matty certainly wouldn’t. As you looked around George’s room, you scrambled to find anything to hide your dignity as you moved around to clean up. As you pulled the shirt George was wearing the night before over your bare body, you didn’t have chance to register the other voices on the other side of the bedroom door.
“Where is she? She’s not answering her phone? She’s not in her room either.”
Matty didn’t answer Ross’s question, just grumbled into his arms before flinging himself down onto the dining room table dramatically.
“What’s the matter with you? You look like shit Healy!” Hann shoved his shoulder with a laugh as he threw himself on the sofa.
“Well you’d look like shit if you didn’t get any sleep cause you could hear George fucking at all hours of the night too.” Matty snapped at the two of them.
“Who was he shagging? I thought he wasn’t seeing that blonde anymore?”
Unfortunately for you, this was when you decided to make your grand appearance. Walking out of George’s room in nothing but his shirt and your knickers from the night before. The three of them silent as they took in your appearance.
Adam’s jaw slack as he looked on in shock as everything clicked into place before his very eyes.
Matty looked pained as he ran a hand through his curls before pushing himself up off the dining room table and shuffling into the kitchen, silently flicking the kettle on.
Ross looked angry. You could see it simmering in his eyes. The vein on his neck pulsing as he starred you down.
“I’ve been trying to ring you. Why were you in George’s room? ”
“I’ve been asleep. I’m here now aren’t I? Everything alright?” You brushed past him, trying to avoid talking about the inevitable. You hated when Ross was angry.
“Why do you have George’s shirt on?”
The two of you competed in a stare off. The both of you silent. Neither of you making the next move. If there was one thing you MacDonald siblings were, it was stubborn. Adam was watching on in anticipation. The only noise to be heard was Matty shuffling around the kitchen in the background. Your brother asked you again. Why was he asking you questions he didn’t want to know the answers to.
“Don’t make me say it bro.”  You sighed; annoyance flashing across his features.
“You slept with my best friend?”  Ross immediately started raising his voice. He already knew the answer, he didn’t need your confirmation. Not that he waited for it because he was already storming towards George’s room and right on queue, the door swung open to George just in his boxers.
“Ross. Stop!”  Your voice loud and going ignored.
“YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER?!”  
Ross was seething. Hann was immediately by your side ready to intervene. Matty still off and away from the drama (which was very unlike him) that was about to unfold. He was unlawfully quiet but you couldn’t think about that when Ross was squaring off with George in the doorway to your rooms. The shouting sounded like you were under water as you zoned it out. This was a disaster. It was only when Hann touching your arm, whispering if they should intervene or not that brought you back to reality and had you storming right in between the two giants.
Pushing your way in between them. You stood with your back against George’s chest, a hand on your brothers and looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Ross. Please. Fighting George isn’t going to solve anything.”
“You slept. With my sister. What about fucking bro code?! Not cool dude!”
“It was me.” You shouted over the top of his booming voice, all four of them turning to look at you as you very rarely raised your voice. “It was me. I initiated it. So if you’re going to be mad at someone, shout at me because it’s my fault.”
“Babe you don’t have to defend me.” George touched your shoulder gently. “I know, we shouldn’t have done it.”
“Don’t touch her!” Ross zoned in on George’s hands upon your shoulders. He quickly lifted them up in surrender.
“George, we’re both consenting adults.” You addressed him before turning back to your brother. “I’m sorry but if you’re going to sulk about it, blame me because I started it. Ross you know I love you more than anything in this world but you can’t hate everyone that goes near me.”  You reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. “It was literally a one night stand. Promise it won’t happen again.”
Ross tried to pull his hand out of yours at your words, the vein in his neck twitching at the fucked up thought of his little sister casually sleeping around. “I’m not fucking happy about it. Fucking bro code dude.” He threw his hands up dramatically before turning towards the door. “I’m going for some fresh air.” 
Ross quickly yanked open the front door, Hann hot on his tail, muttering something about checking on him which left you with Matty and George. The three of you standing in silence for a moment before George popped a kiss on top of your head and mumbling about a cig and heading out the back.
Matty disappeared again into the kitchen as you plonked yourself down at the dining room table with a groan. The ticking of the clock the only thing to be heard as the two of you were now the only ones left in your tiny flat. Sitting down next to you, Matty didn’t say anything. Just pushed a mug of coffee towards you and sipping his own.
“You don’t hate me do you? You haven’t said anything all morning.”
Matty took a sip of his coffee, a look of contemplation on his face as his eyes flitted towards you. The silence deafening and the thought of him being upset with you made your heart ache.
“You never offered me that on my birthday.”
You blinked rapidly as you stared at him. That was it. That’s what he chose to say.
Matty tried to say it with a joking lilt to his words. A smirk hiding behind his mug of coffee as you took in his words. But he knew deep down that there was a seriousness to it. It was true, you’ve never done anything with him other than when you kissed at his 18th, on his birthday or otherwise. Apart from one drunken weekend about two weeks later. He wasn’t sure why the thought made his heart pang. But it did. You opened your mouth to respond, quickly shutting it again as a flush rushed to your cheeks as you remembered the night in his garden five birthdays ago.
You let out a shaky laugh, not knowing what to say, shoving his shoulder playfully as you settled back into your chair, steaming coffee ready to be drunk.
“I don’t, you know.” 
You turned you head to curly haired man beside you confused at what he was saying. 
“I could never hate you.”
2014
You weren’t exactly sure where you were. What state you were in. What time it was or how much you and the band had to drink or what drugs Matty had taken tonight but you were fucking exhausted. You had been following your brother and your best friends around the world for the best part of just over a year, ‘acting’ like their personal assistant. 
You were essentially a glorified baby sitter for these four man children. You wouldn’t change it for the world though, you got to travel the world with your best friends and take cool photography in the cool cities you visited but it was all catching up to you. All whilst they were busy being rockstars, some more than others but that was a different story.
You wanted nothing more than to be in the dingy little flat you shared with Matty and George in Manchester, catching up on washing, going down to your local Sainsbury’s and doing the weekly shop. Anything that didn’t require going to bed post 3am.
But you were currently in a club in Atlanta or was it Nashville? You didn’t know but what you did know was that you were bloody tired and the thought of travelling on the tour bus to the next state with a hangover was genuinely about to send you into a downward spiral if you didn’t get yourself back to the hotel asap.
Tucked neatly underneath Hann’s arm, his arm loosely hanging over your shoulder as you rested your head upon his shoulder, you prayed for your brother to round up the other two quicker than he was because you were actually asleep standing up at this point. You didn’t think it was possible to be asleep with your eyes open but you were positive at this precise moment in time it was currently happening.
Ross finally reappeared with George in tow but there was no Matty trailing behind the two of them. You groaned loudly as you clapped eyes on the two of them. Ross looked defeated, tiredness set his eyes too. George smirked when he heard your groans.
“Not the usual type of groans you make when you see me baby.”
“I’ll punch you so hard before Ross even gets the chance to if you don’t shut the fuck up Daniel's. Where’s Healy?”  You huffed, scowling at the boy in front of you.
“Mumbled something incoherent before refusing to leave.” Your brother grumbled.
“Give me two minutes.” You sent Hann a soft smile, before removing yourself from the bubble the two of you’d created at the end of the bar before pushing your way through all the sweaty bodies until you found him trying to chat up some blonde model type near the DJ booth.
Gently placing your hand around his bicep to get his attention, his curls whipped in your direction to see who was touching him. The first thing you noticed apart from the bright grin he was now sporting were his dilated pupils. So he had taken coke again, brilliant. 
The sigh that left you so deeply rooted, you’re surprised he didn’t pick up on it. You hated the way it made him feel after the high was over.
“Hi darling! Hasn’t tonight been amazing? Wait where are the others? Can you believe your brother tried to make me to go back to the hotel? How sick was the gig tonight? Do you want to dance? Hey let me introduce you to…” He spoke at a hundred miles a hour as he spewed out utter nonsense, turning to realise the blonde he was chatting up was long gone.
You watched Matty’s shoulders sag, sad eyes now back on your own. “You fancy coming back with me? I’m dead on my feet and don’t really fancy nursing this inevitable hangover whilst being stuck on the tour bus for over six hours with you lot without at least four hours of decent sleep.”
“But I don’t want to go home yet.” He pouted.
“You come with me now, I’ll let you stay in my bunk tomorrow and I won’t complain about how clingy you are. Promise!”
“Like a sleepover?!”  Matty’s face lit up again.
“If you like, yeah!” You laughed at his childlike enthusiasm.
“Come on then, let’s go right now!” He started to drag you through the crowds. “I’m sharing with Ross tonight. I think he’d rather kill himself than watch you throw yourself at me!” 
“I don’t throw myself at you.” You laughed at the frown he was pulling at you.
“It’s been known to happen Healy! I don’t mind though. My bunk tomorrow. Pinky promise.”
“Tomorrow.”  Matty sent you a soft smile; his pinky looping around your own before you started to tug him back towards the boys. “I just want to clarify, I don’t throw myself at you I just like lying on your tits is all!” He said, pulling a laugh out of you as you approached the rest of the band. Your brother already leading the troops out the club as he saw your approach, eager to get out of there and into bed.
You had currently been on the road from Atlanta to Raleigh, North Carolina for the past two hours and the hangover was showing no signs of disappearing. You had already watched half a season of The Office with Hann and had taken a half arsed nap with Ross but it was hard trying to sleep in the lounge, when your head was knocking off his shoulder every time the bus hit a pot hole.
Not to mention; if Matty made one more fucking sound, you were absolutely positive one of you was going to throw him out the window. It was a toss up between you and Hann, whoever got to him first I suppose. But he was getting on your last nerve. He was annoying at the best of times but there was something about his come down today that was irritating you to no fucking end. He so much as breathed too loudly and it was sending you spiralling into deep pit of annoyance.
You and the band were up back in the lounge area, some Adam Sandler movie playing quietly in the back ground that you were pretty sure none of them were even paying attention to. When Matty threw his phone across the bus, swearing something incoherent under his breath and it was the last straw.
Standing up abruptly, you managed to startle both Ross and Hann at the speed in which you moved. Pulling down George’s hoodie that you had stolen, so it covered more of your ass over the pair of gym shorts you had on. You turned back towards your brother and Adam, irritation etched across your features, scowling at Matty as you eyed him out of your peripheral, as he moped about next to George. 
Just the image of him, made you want to roll your eyes.
“I’m going to my bunk before I fucking throttle him!”  
You sent them both a sarcastic smile before storming off to your bunk. You can’t have been there ten minutes before your peace was interrupted by Matty who was peering around the curtain and asking if he can join you. You let out a big sigh before silently nodding your head as he lumbered on into the small space.
Immediately wrapping his arms around your waist; his head found home upon your chest just like it always did when he wanted a cuddle. Your hand that was wrapped around him made its way up to his head, where it settled in his curls, finger tips running across his scalp. The sound of his soft sighs automatically calming down the irritation that had been bubbling inside you since he had awoken this morning.
You weren’t entirely sure how long you had been lying there in silence. You only broke the silence when the coldness of Matty’s fingertips slipped underneath your hoodie to touch the warmth of your skin. His thumb rubbing circles across the softness of your hips as he snuggled further into your tits as one of his legs started pushing its way in between your own as he got comfy.
“Matty?” Your voice gentle as you tried to get his attention.
“You said you wouldn’t complain.” His voice muffled as he spoke into your covered breasts.
“Your fingers are fucking freezing that’s all.” Your chest vibrated with laughter.
“Sorry sweetheart” Matty moved the slightest bit, to kiss the underside of your chin before snuggling back into the warmth of your hoodie.
“I don’t mean to, you know?”  He whispered softly.
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t mean to make you angry.” 
His voice was barely above a whisper, that you nearly missed it.
“I’m not angry. Why would you think I’m angry at you?”
“You looked like you’d rather die than be anywhere near me before.” The hand that was weaving through his curls stopped. “I hated it. Hated that you looked at me like that. Made me feel even more shit than I already do.”
“Healy look at me.” Matty didn’t move a muscle, head still tucked underneath your chin, no effort in moving at all at your words.
“Babe. Look at me.” Your voice more stern, wiggling away from his grip so you could look down at him properly. “I could never hate you. Ever.” Your eyes flitted across his features, hardened by the late nights on tour and the hardcore partying. “I hate what that stuff does to you. I would never stop you from having fun but when you do that stuff, I hate how it makes you hate yourself the next day. I don’t want you doing something you’re going to regret because believe it or not Healy. I’m quite fond of you and I don’t think my heart could take it if something happened to you. Neither would my brother’s or Hann’s or George’s. We love you a stupid amount you know.”
Matty blinked at you as he took in your words, his brown eyes glossing over before shoving his face into you neck, the grip around your waist becoming impossibly tighter. Your body shaking as his vibrated against yours, soft sobs leaving him as he chanted; “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Over and over again.
All you could do was hold him closer and reassure him, that he had nothing to be sorry for and you were just looking out for him because anything else, you were afraid it might break you and you’d cry too. As your best friend was breaking his heart and wetting the hoodie you were wearing.
“Don’t apologise for having fun. I just want you to be careful. All I ever want is for you to be okay and sometimes what you do with all those people you don’t know isn’t good for you sweetheart.”
You squeezed him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. As he mumbled how “I’ll be better, I promise” into your neck, pressing multiple kisses in quick succession to just under the right side of your jaw before settling back into silence where the two of stay for some time.
The soft regular movement of Matty’s thumb rubbing circles on your hip stopped, his hand significantly less colder than they were before he had them up your hoodie, moved across the expanse of your lower back and rolling you over so you were now draped over him instead and tucked into his side. 
“You know sometimes I feel the only time I might get better is when we are together. You ever feel like that?”
It was now your turn to nod silently, a soft hum leaving your mouth as you pressed a quick kiss into his skin as you settled into a slumber.
2017
You had been pottering about your flat most of the morning, doing a deep clean of the place before you were supposed to be heading to meet the boys for Sunday dinner. Your boyfriend of nearly a year Michael, once again opting out of spending time with you and your family, claiming he had better things to be doing that sitting about and listening to the boys talk about what they had been getting up to in the studio again.
Personally you think it was because George let slip last time Michael could actually be bothered to join you all for a drink, that he had slept with you in a drunken ramble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend, your brother and yourself. And Michael didn’t take too fondly to the fact you were still close with George after the confession.
You were in the middle of folding the last bit of the washing that you had dumped on your bed when your phone pinged with a text from Hann.
‘Did you get a letter in the post this week? x’
‘I get a lot of stuff in the post Ads! Off who? x’
‘Matty x’
The moment you saw his name, your heart got stuck in your throat. None of you had heard from him since he he had left, something to do with his recovery. So the thought of contact from him had you dropping your phone on the bed and rushing from your room, shouting at Michael about the post you had received this week. Only receiving a mumble from him about the fire place; had you dashing to the living room, where you rifled through the post sat on top of the mantelpiece. 
There slotted in between this months Rolling Stone subscription and a local take away menu was a white envelope addressed to you. 
A Barbados post mark sitting in the top right corner.
Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffee table, you rushed back to your bedroom, locking the door immediately before sitting at the edge of your bed and taking in Matty’s scrawl of a penmanship. Running your fingers over the ink; your mind flashed back to that day. 
The day you realised he wasn’t okay. 
How completely out of it he was as you watched him at their last festival gig of the iliwys tour cycle. How utterly miserable he looked as he threw himself about the stage, looking just the shadow of the man you knew and loved.
You knew something wasn’t right as you watched from the side of stage with their manager Jamie. George ever the professional, had even broke his concentration bubble to catch your eye several times during their festival set, worry set in his features. 
The way your gentle giant walked straight up to you, stopped in front of you and just by the look in your eyes. Your face never one to hide your emotions. George wrapped his arm around you and without a single word, the pair of you knew you had to speak to the other boys about it. You needed to talk to him.
The night of the intervention. The way he screamed and shouted at you all. He admitted to using but he didn’t do it quietly. The way Ross stepped in front of you in defence when he swore at you. Hann’s hand wrapped tightly around your own, George’s hand squeezing your shoulder in support as your brown eyes glossed over as you took in the man in front of you. He wasn’t your Matty and you hated looking at him like this. 
You didn’t want to look at him at all and it broke your heart.
Slipping your finger into the envelope you finally tore it open, slipping out several pages of paper. You weren’t sure how long you were holding them before you actually unfolded them but it felt like a lifetime of contemplating before you managed to finally take a deep breath and compose yourself enough to read his words.
‘Darling,
As part of my recovery, I’ve been tasked to write a letter to everyone I’ve hurt and yours is the last one I’ve got to write. Not because you mean the least to me. Quite the opposite. Yours has been the hardest to write. Harder than Gabby. My Mam, Dad & Louis & the boys because you mean the absolute world to me. 
This is actually the third time I’ve attempted to write this. Admitting that I’ve hurt you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You know what I’m like, I’m a stubborn twat at the best of times but I needed to do this because you deserve this apology probably the most.
You’ve never once judged me and the fucked up things I do when I’m on one. Since we were kids you’ve stuck by my side, defended me when I really didn’t deserve it and loved me endlessly from the sidelines and I’ve definitely not deserved your love but you gave me it anyway.
Do you remember that time we were on tour in 2014 and I was fucked up on coke for god knows how many days in a row and you couldn’t even be in the same room as me that day on the bus when I was on that god awful come down on the way to North Carolina?
Yet you still didn’t say no when I selfishly came crawling to your bunk to interrupt your peace and quiet with my tail between my legs, asking to come lie with you. You could have told me to piss off but you didn’t, you let me squish myself into your bunk and your arms and let me sleep off my hangover in your arms without complaining once. I would have complained but you didn’t, you let me and my cold hands snake their way into your personal space like I hadn’t gotten on your last nerve just ten minutes prior. 
I’m quite a selfish person. You my darling are the most selfless person I know and I don’t deserve the good grace you’ve given me time and time again. Especially seeing as I dragged you along for the ride and then you’ve had to babysit me because I can’t control myself when it comes to drugs and showing off because I want everyone to like me.
You could have taken the tough love route, told me I’m a big fuck up and judged me for my drug use and tried to get me to stop (which probably would have have had the opposite effect out of defiance) but you didn’t. You silently kept an eye on me and made sure I didn’t end up killing myself. Until I took it too far.
I’ve seen you look at me with distaste over the years. Yet nothing compares to the way you looked at me that day you guys staged your intervention. I didn’t think you guys had noticed. I thought me and Miss H had this great big secret going on and I didn’t want to let any of you guys in on it because it would ruin what we had.
Yet you know me better than anyone. You and George both just knew that day. Of course you did. You’re my best friends. But you don’t know how happy I am the four of you staged that intervention and told me I needed to get my shit together.
When I think about the way I lashed out at you. The way your big brown eyes that usually sparkle with mischief when we’re with each other, glossed over as you just stood and took it and didn’t even raise your voice at me once. I can feel the lump in my throat tighten as I write this.
I deserved it you know. I deserved whatever fury was bubbling inside you because I was a class A cunt that day! I’m truly surprised Ross didn’t knock my head off and I wouldn’t have blamed him either if he had done!
I’m just so glad you did something because the thought of losing every single one of you shatters my soul so much, I would cease to exist without you.
I could sit here and write down the list of all things I’m sorry for but physically we don’t have the time or enough paper! But you should know that I am.
I’m sorry. 
For everything.
I’m doing okay. The best I’ve been in a long time. The only way being here might get better is if you were here too.
I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I’m begging for it because the thought of you hating me and not being able to trust me anymore kills me.
You really an angel on this earth.
I don’t deserve you.
I love you.
Yours Matthew x
p.s I cannot wait to be reunited with your tits! I’ve missed them!
You let out a chortled laugh as you read through the last line of the letter. Your hands quickly making their way to your face as you wiped the tears that were streaming from your face. The cuffs of your hoodie wet from where you’ve tried to stop the flow of tears. Pressing the letter to your chest, you took a few deep breaths to try compose yourself before you left the confinements of your bedroom.
Hurriedly shoving the letter into your handbag, so there was no chance Michael could stumble across your letter. He didn’t like Matty as it was, you didn’t want to give him ammunition to say anything. You grabbed your car keys and rushed out of the house without a word to your boyfriend and heading straight to Hann’s.
2020
You had broken up with Michael.
The red flags should have been there from the start really. He always had less than nice words to say about you and your relationships with the boys. He didn’t have a lot of nice things to say in general but you were blinded by love and the man he was when you first met that you didn’t see the red flags being waved right in front of your face until your heart (and self confidence) were already broken.
Your brother didn’t like Michael, he thought there was something off about him from the off but you put it down to Ross doing his job as your big brother but his opinion didn’t waver once in the four years you were together. George never liked how possessive he was and the fact he became even more so and tried to stop you from speaking to him after he found out about your night together. Which just fyi happened three years prior to meeting him, so he (everyone) was flabbergasted as to why he was so bothered! Hann. Your sweet angel of a bestie had even voiced how he didn’t like him and he was never one to be rude which should have also been a clue you were dating a dickhead.
Then there was Matty. Matty hated him. The feelings were mutual. Michael had told you plenty of times over your four years together that he hated your best friend but he would never tell you why. Matty told you it was because ‘he was a twat who didn’t deserve you’. You were obliged to agree because that mother fucker cheated on you!
Multiple women across the last two years of your relationship. 
To say you were stunned was an understatement yet it somehow made sense and fell into place so easily when you thought about it all. Yet that didn’t make it hurt any less. But a friend of yours sending you the evidence whilst you were on the last night of the UK tour was the final nail in the coffin that was your shitty relationship with him.
You weren’t sure who wanted to kill him more. Your brother? Matty? Or George? The three of them were raging amongst one another at their after party which should have been a celebration whilst Hann sat with his arms wrapped around you as you cried to him and Carly. You didn’t think anything would make you feel better apart from getting obliterated with your favourite people and forgetting about Michael and the impending doom that was about to be bestowed upon the entire world.
Matty was your saving grace.
Asked you to move in, without even hesitating. Naturally you said yes, sitting in your flat all by yourself whilst you cried over your douchebag of an ex during lockdown did not sound appealing to you. It was giving ‘Emma Pilssbury crying to Celine Dion in her car from Glee’ and you weren’t quite ready to hit that stage of your breakup depression just yet.
Two weeks turned into two months and then four months of lockdown but quite frankly you had never been happier. Living with Matty again, surprisingly was just as good the second time round if not easier. Except this time you weren’t poor, your kitchen roof wasn’t leaking and there was a 95% less drug taking which made your life a whole lot less stressful.
It was just easy with him. At some point whilst the world stood still, Matty and Tahliah broke up and then it really just was you two; doing your washing, fighting over who’s turn it was to use their club card during the weekly shop at Tesco and raising his (both of your’s) new dog, Mayhem.
The two of you had been getting ready to move into a studio tomorrow with George after four months of just the two of you playing house, the pair of them just itching to get back to work. You were aware that Matty had been writing already but you knew it would be full steam now Notes had been released and you wanted to make use of the time you had left just the two of you.
Only because you knew as soon as you got your hands on George. That was it! Not a chance Matty was getting any attention. You had missed your big friendly giant more than anything and you knew from your FaceTime with him last night whilst you couldn’t sleep that he was more than excited to see you too.
All three of you were sunbathing in the garden. Mayhem by your side as the two of you soaked up some much needed sun. The heatwave the UK was currently in the middle of was doing wonders for your skin. You had been lying in silence for the past thirty minutes, a book covering your face to block out the sun as you tried to read. Matty’s head in your lap as you presumed he was napping when you suddenly felt him turn over in your lap, now on his side and looking up at you.
Lifting the book ever so slightly, so you could peek underneath at him, you cocked an eyebrow as he watched you with a gentle gaze. “Yes?” Your tone rich with sarcasm as you stared back at him. “Anything actually going through that pretty head of yours Healy? What you thinking about?”
“Us.”
“Us?” You laughed. “What about us?”
“You remember my eighteenth birthday?”  He asked; peering up at you with a soft smile.
“The party?” Matty nodded. “I remember Ross stopping me from getting with Max! Remember him? I was gutted!”  You laughed. “Why?”
“You know that’s not what I meant?” Matty frowned slightly as he pouted at you.
“Of course I do.” You put your book down, your hands automatically reaching for what was left of his curls,“What about it?”
“You ever think about it?”
“Sometimes. Think we’ve done a fantastic job at keeping it from my brother! Especially with your big gob!”  You smiled down at him as you ran your hand through his curls gently.
“Funny!”  He sent a glare your way, causing you to laugh loudly at his attempt to be intimidating. 
“What’s got you thinking about that kiss from a million years ago anyway?”
“Wanking material.” He somehow managed to say without cracking smile.
It was your turn to shoot him a glare at his crudeness. It wasn’t long though until he was grinning up at you from his place in your lap. You pushed his head away from you in fake annoyance. God you couldn’t stand him sometimes!
“Ohh come on darling. I hear you sometimes! We all do it, you’ve got to think of something!” Matty tried to lighten the mood.
“Yeah I think about G’s 23rd birthday.” You smirked. Your vibrator was good but it wasn’t George. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good orgasm and thinking it might have been before Michael makes you want to cry. Your confession/kind of a joke caused the grin to fall from his face and you almost felt bad, knowing he doesn’t want to hear about the incredible night you had with George because if anyone asked him, he absolutely did not want to relive it.
“I’m joking!” Your hand reached for his curls again. “Seriously though, what’s got you reminiscing about it. It’s been a long time.”
“Just thinking about how much I love you is all.” His confession made you stop. “What would have happened if we’d said fuck it and we ended up together.”
“I don’t think Ross would have been too happy. You saw how mad he got about G!”  You laughed nervously as you thought about stopping your brother from knocking his band mate out.
“He’d have gotten over it.” Matty was now leaning up on his arms, leaning forward to press a light kiss to your bikini clad torso before pressing several kisses in quick succession up your stomach until he was hovering over your chest and looking down at your face. “If we were happy, he’d have been happy. You know he would have been.”
His actions made you hold your breath. It being strangely intimate and probably the most intimate you’d been since you were teenagers. You wondered if he was actually going to kiss you again but he just looked down at you fondly.
“You know I’d do anything for you right?”  You nodded. “You’re one of the only people who makes me truly happy.  I’d literally go too far just you have you near. I’d go blind just to see you!”
You rolled your eyes at the dramatics of his statement but the sweet sentiment made you smile, you reached up to hold the side of his face in your hands. Your thumb sweeping over the apple of his left cheek. The pair of you just basking in the warmth of the sun and each other. Unsure how long you hadn’t said anything, Matty broke the silence in the most Matty way.
“Literally anything you need. I’ve got you for life sweetheart. A cuppa? A joint? An orgasm? I’m your man!” 
A chortle left your mouth as he cheekily beamed down at you, waiting for what he knew would be a somewhat sarcastic response. He didn’t realise he’d really set himself up for what you were about to say.
“Don’t worry I’m good. I’m seeing G tomorrow!”
The way his eyes narrowed at you made you cackle even louder as he finally jumped up off you, to walk back inside without another word. “I’m sorry!”  You laughed. “I promise not to shag George when I see him. I’m good with my vibrator I promise!”  You manage to sputter out through your laughter. “Stick the kettle on whilst you’re in there love.”  You shouted after him.
Matty threw you the middle finger over his shoulder which made you laugh even more as he went though the back door, Mayhem hot on his heels; knowing fine well he was going to put the kettle on and make you a brew just how you liked it because for as long as he can remember he’s never been able to say no to you and he didn’t think he’d ever will.
2023
The 1975 in Show and Concert was possibly your favourite tour that you’d been apart of with the boys. There was an accumulative of factors; the fact you weren’t the only girl on tour this time round, Carly had joined Adam with their son and Charli had come to as many shows as her own schedule permitted. You also had a little part to play at Matthew’s request (obviously!) donned in a white lab coat, you brought Matty a hot honey and lemon on stage every night and pottered about with the rest of the crew, making sure your brother and the rest of the band were all good before slipping off to watch the rest of the show from backstage.
Or it could have been that you and Matty were closer than ever. Ever since lockdown and the pair of you had been living together, everything seemed so simple that since restrictions were lifted, you just carried on living together. I think when George removed the last box of things from your old flat to take to Matty’s did it for him, that he just shook his head with a laugh. 
“You guys really are an old married couple!” He chuckled; slamming the boot close and jumping in the car before you could get a word in edgeways.
He wasn’t wrong, you guys did essentially everything together apart from have sex. Not that you hadn’t thought about it. Somewhere between moving into the studio with him and George and then your brother and Hann joining them to start recording their fifth studio album. You hadn’t shagged anyone in over a year and there was only so many times you could use your vibrator before you got bored and there wasn’t a cat’s chance in hell you were ordering a new toy to the studio because Matty didn’t have boundaries and absolutely would have opened it before you could even get the chance to get your hands on it.
You had also promised after day one; after one too many jokes and essentially mounting George at any given moment just to have him near you that you wouldn’t sleep with him. Even though a repeat of his birthday from seven years prior was literally so so temping to you! So what the hell were you going to do? The thought of dating apps made you want to vomit and hanging about bars really didn’t seem that appealing.
But Matty being Matty; was being overly affectionate one night after one too many glasses of red after a show, had the two of you giggling like teenagers and wondering if the two of you had gotten better at kissing since Matty’s 18th. Curiosity getting the better of the both of you, had you surging towards one another in a flurry of horniness after the kiss, was how you found yourself straddling his lap and snogging him like your life depended on it! Until you physically had to pull away to get your breath back and a rush of sense flashed through your brain. The two of you went to bed separately.
Neither of you spoke about it again.
Nor did you ever think about how the two of you were always drawn to each other no matter what shit storm was going on around you until now. You were just tying up the end of the UK leg of the tour, you and the band were in Ireland and Jamie had just told you that *The Scum* were running a horrendous article about Matty. This had in turn resulted in an argument after their penultimate show between the boys. 
You knew he did things in the heat of the moment whilst he’s on stage or says shit without thinking and it comes to bite him in the arse almost every time but he’d never do what they’re accusing him of on purpose.
But seeing your brother hurt by Matty’s stupid actions; the repercussions for not just himself but for the rest of the band, your brother, yourself just by association. It was enough for you to step in, in defence of your brother. He came before everyone else, every single time.
This you didn’t realise; had as big of an effect until you were stood frozen on stage in front of your brother, Matty in between you and Ross. Apologising to him, crying in front of thousands of people. How Ross hadn’t broke the facade and took him in his arms was beyond you because your brother’s face was currently blurry to you and he was stood a foot in front of you. Tears filled your brown eyes and were threatening to spill as Matty let his vulnerable side show in front of everyone. Something he never does.
You had done so well until he apologised once more; removing his hand from Ross’s arm and reaching behind him blindly to grab on to you. The tears automatically fell; the action enough to make Ross twitch in an ache to comfort you. Something he couldn’t do until the band had come off stage at the end of consumption.
After the final song of tour; the boys usually head on out for the after party. Tonight you had Matty back at the hotel in your room on his knees and begging for you. 
Begging for you to not leave him. Begging for you not to move out. Begging for you to stay by his side. Begging for you to still love him.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked down at the man in front of you; on his knees as his hands grasped at your legs, pulling you close as he hugged you as physically close as possible as he sobbed against your legs. Instinctively you reached for his curls, running your fingers through them softly.
“Baby. Look at me.” The softness of his curls tickled your thighs as he stayed pressed against you. “Matthew. Darling look at me.” 
You managed to loosen his grip enough to slide down on to your knees in front of him, taking a hold of his face in your hands as you eyes flitted across his face, smiling softly at him as he tried to calm himself down.
“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose any of you.” He shook his head, curls flying in front of his face. “But I can’t lose you darling. I can’t.”
“Matthew. Look at me. Why do you think you’re going to lose me? You’re never going to lose me. You’re kinda stuck with me!” You laughed. “And even if I decided to fuck off, my brother being your bassist kind of means I’m stuck with you anyway.” The grip on his face got tighter as his hands reached up to hold on to your wrists.
“But last night…”
“Ross and I just want you to use your brain sometimes before you do stupid shit! You’ve not lost either of us. I promise.”
“Promise?”
Your heart jumped into your throat at the swell of tears in his eyes and his lip quiver.
“Life. That’s how long you’ve got me for Healy. Promise.” As soon as you stopped speaking; Matty threw himself at you, arms around your neck and squeezing you so tightly you nearly stopped breathing. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you” Being repeated in your ear over and over as you squeezed him back, pressing your lips to the side of his face in consecutive kisses until he abruptly pulled away. Eyes red and looking at you so softly you thought he was going to cry again.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. You know I do.” You smiled at him warmly.
“No. It’s always been you.” He said as he reached for your hands and it felt like you had been hit in the chest. The sting of tears trickling up your face and threatening to fill your eyes as you silently took him in. You went to open your mouth but nothing came out.
“I know I always talk too much but just listen to me. I love you. Since we were kids I reckon, I was just too chicken to ever do anything.  When you kissed me on my 18th birthday. When you saw I needed help,  you saved my life sending me to rehab. Every day, I thought about getting home to you.  It’s what got me through every day. You make me a better man darling. When you take my shit when I don’t deserve it. When you make me a brew in the morning just how I like it. When you roll me a joint when you realise I’m too tense and in my head without me even having to ask. When you tell me to shut the fuck up before a situation escalates. When we go to big Tesco and walk the dog or do all the washing together. I fucking live for that shit because it’s with you. Fuck I’ve been writing songs about you for the past decade! You are intertwined with every era of this band sweetheart. I mean 60% of the last album is about you! ” He chuckled softly.
“What?” Managed to escape you in a gasp.
“Come on sweetheart. Some of this music has literally been out for ten years!”
“I - Just never - Why have you never said anything before now?” Your voice horse with frustration.
“I love your brother too much. But thinking I’d lost the two of you, just made me think fuck it. You deserve to know. You need to know.” Matty shrugged casually.
“That’s stupid.” Your deadpan tone, stunning him silent.
“Sorry?”
“Wasn’t it you that said to me that if Ross knew I was happy. That we were happy he wouldn’t care. He’d have gotten over it? And you’ve just subliminally been telling me you love me through music this entire time?”
“Yes?” 
You cocked an eyebrow at his hesitation, the questioning tone as your eyes flit across his handsome features. Cheeks tinged with pink due to his tears, his chest falling up and down rapidly at his confession as he awaited you answer. You still didn’t say anything, thinking about how to respond until you found the perfect response.
Surging forward you pushed your lips against Matty’s. Hands reaching for the curls you loved so much. Waiting for him to reciprocate felt like a life time but your Matthew was well equipped in the art of kissing you back so realistically it was 0.2 seconds after he had gotten over the shock.
You kissed him over and over again, not wanting to stop the feeling of how your lips moved against his, how his tongue felt against yours. You felt like you were on fire, he was intoxicating. He always was but fuck was he more than ever. Finally finding the strength to untangle yourself from him, chests heaving as you both got oxygen back in your lungs you said the words, the way he’d been wishing to hear for the past sixteen years.
“I love you too.”
When he was finally seen in public two days later on the eve of their Gorilla gig in Manchester. The fans noticed Matty was in higher spirits than he had been two days prior when his breakdown was caught on camera. You had been nervous to tell your brother but Ross claimed he already knew Matty was in love with you, he was just waiting to see if he’d actually grow some balls or not! Then he hugged you so tightly and whispered he was happy for the both of you, which in turn had you and Matty crying backstage in their green room as you found yourself in a 1975 sandwich! 
You don’t think you had seen Matty look so happy on stage in a long time. He loved touring but it was gruelling but seeing him on stage in this tiny venue with his best friends and his girl watching and waiting for him side stage. He couldn’t stop beaming. The fans noticed, the comments already flying in online about him. They increased tenfold when he jumped offstage, not waiting the ten second walk backstage before kissing you like his life depended on it.
The blurry picture of Matty holding your jaw in his hands as he kissed you in the shadows of the stage was on a 1975 update account within minutes.
Captioned: If you know you know. Finally 🖤
You were obliged to agree.
726 notes · View notes
elmhat · 5 months
Text
Dreblr Survey Results Pt.2 - Sharing the Joy!
Here are the results for the longer questions! These are some of the lore moments, AUs and headcanons that we love.
I haven't included every response, only the ones that seemed the most unique and non-repetitive. There were a lot to sift through. Everything here has been directly pasted from the form.
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Lore moments we love...
Punz & Dream's reunion
The staged finale reveal were c!Punz meets c!Dream again
“Long time no see Buddy!”
'LONG TIME NO SEE BUDDY'
"long time no see buddy!" NEED I EXPLAIN ANSJSJDJENSNSKSKS
Moment staged duo got confirmed they were still working together I predicted that shit ages ago and I won't shut up about the fact i was RIGHT
I think there are two moments that are far too important for me. The first one being the moment that Punz and Dream met up after Dream got out of prison. It was so so magical, after A YEAR of waiting and clinging to the idea of stages finale, after it had been so long and people that just didnt believe saying no, it's not stages because it doesnt make sense or that it got retconned, They Were Wrong. And they couldnt take that win from me, even if they tried. It was even funnier when I saw people a day later finding the clip of Punz and Dream talking about Drem's "betrayal", long before he had been imprisoned, and they called it "a lost clip". But it wasnt lost, not to me. I had always known and I Had Been There when it had happened. Unbelievable, I really felt like I Won.
Technonblade & Dream being besties
c!dream admitting to c!techno he can't read a map
Anything with c!drunz or c!rivals but especially the moment on the mountain with c!rivals
DOOMSDAY RAHHGHHGH
Prison Podcast, it was so fucking funny
The Techno and Dream prison podcast will always be important to me
Prison break. Dream being surprised at returning for him
prison break, largely for the mass dreblr hysteria
...I'll have to say the jailbreak; I was hoping for one since before I saw any of the streams - back when all I really knew about the prison arc came from the title of a DSMP playlist that YouTube's algorithm recommended to me on my second day in the fandom (true story) - and seeing it play out honestly made my entire year.
The finale streams
i think about the discduo finale every day of my goddamn life
Tommy realizing the truth about Dream
The moment in the finale where c!Tommy asks c!Dream to take off his helmet and he does it. I shed real tears.
The moment where cdream metaphorically lost his mask and was just someone, all of a sudden
The disc finale, which can be read on so many levels with the infos you're given it's actually incredible.
The DSMP finale doesn't just hit hard, but I also enjoy the conclusion it gave to the conflict between Dream, Tommy, and the prison era, especially looking it at from a literary view.
The 2nd moment is more really the entire actual finale between Dream, Punz, Tommy and Tubbo - Staged duo got revealed to the wider world and my friends and I were celebrating for having been proven right again, it was just so amazing. And it really continued on and ended better than any of us could have hoped for and anyone arguing that it's bad that Dream got redeemed And Then The Nuke Happened, in my opinion, fundamentally didnt understand what Dream and Tommy's whole Feud was about - yes I said that Tommy is my least favorite character, but that's a good thing for a lot of instances, especially the finale, so when He Finally Understood His Enemy, I was downright in tears Sorry for the rant, I had to get all of that out qwq
when dream and tommy realize that it was too late
"Do you want to be friends?"
Sam & Dream being generally insane
the sam "when it was just me and him" moment <3
Sam and dteam’s conversation after techno escapes the prison
"Unless you're saying I'm not a person" lives rent-free in my head forever.
Can I put the entirely of Daedalus arc in here? Probably when Dream said Sam was going to be a shining example not to fuck with him!
c!Dream killing c!Sam once in prison (post escape, when c!Sam was locked up) after days of letting him live. It's special because for the crimes that had been committed against c!Dream in that cell, he was rather merciful. Particularly for his reputation as a heartless killer.
Sam talking about fucking dream up real horny like
Sadness
Just say you hate me<—- millions died
george looking at the prison every time hes is close to it WHY DID KE KEEP DOING THAT
The Karlnapity breakup hurts so good
When Sam was about to kill Ranboo and Techno cried out "you've got the wrong person! Dream doesn't care! I care-" then Ranboo died that fucked me up
So many moments. I had heard of and seen things and knew a bit about DSMP before. But I believe the first stream I watched live was the disc finale. So I'm gonna say "what am I without you? Yourself."
dream's 'sir' moment
Not really a specific moment but Dream going back to pandora afterwards everything. Him *dying* there? Ouchie ouchie ouchie
And more!
Initial disc war/conflicts, <3. The banter and jokes are so dear to me, and that was how I found the DSMP in the first place, so they have a very special place in my heart.
Destruction of Las Nevadas when c!Q was completely destroyed lmao. It feel like serenity to me. Justice, y'know.
vassal scene just everything about it when wilbur asked to be dream's vassal what it meant for their character arcs it was a turning point no going back and it meant so. much. for their characters.
The 'Daddy Dream!!' moment. The funny overshadow The turning point for c!Dream. He's chill with L'manberg at that point(whaaa??) Wilbur pushed him into a role with Threats (will be so Ambitious) it's just Very interesting in general
Ranboo giving Techno the new axe ☹️🤧
Idk if it counts as lore but Dream following Puffy around the server
ranboo trading foolish ownership of the shulker for a favor. and then forgetting he did this. an insight into enderwalking ranboo
Bro EVRRYTHING involving c!dream even in the background for 0,01 sec
C!George blowing up the whole dsmp and killing everyone and reaching godhood in his dreams, C!George standing in front of the prison longingly during a c!q lore stream, C!Dream's spirit speech 🥰🥰, the whole final minutes of the c!discduo finale with the nuke and the softness and vulnerability in dream's voice, every time dreamXD appeared 💖💖
Theyre not one of my favorites, but I did watch all of aimseys dsmp streams. Their thing was "Never waste a pretty sunset," and if I think about that on the way home from work, sometimes I'll take the longer scenic route to get a really good view of the sunset, just because of that phrase.
that bit when c!tom uno reverses put your armor in the hole
George destroying the dream smp, doomsday (techno pov) Dream prison escape confrontation with Tommy. Nicheal
“i don’t give a fuck about spirit!” it was such a distinct turning point from “bad guy” to villain. i love dream as a villain bc he was so goofy and awkward and then bam angst.
"It's just a stupid egg Skeppy!"
When wilbur lost the election. It was my first lore stream and after that it only improved in my eyes
The entirety of fundy's arc with wilbur, im still insane over that. Also when sapnap said he was born in fire that was swag
"I'm his friend, Tommy", "If my best friend is a necromancer-", literally any moments where someone is acknowledging themselves as Dreams friend or that they care about him.
I really like Dream and Sapnap’s confrontation after Dream escaped from prison, and also the staged finale reveal with Dream meeting up with Punz. They’re such good character and plot moments!! (Also there’s the entire prison arc but this thing would be 12 paragraphs long)
Quackity eating Schlatt’s heart on stage
I'm a BIG BIG BIG fan of c!q getting the message to go back to schlatt by being called sugar pumpkin. Something about it is so fawking sleazy
Tubbo pulling an axe on Quackity when he threatened to execute Ranboo
Schlatts death, everyone banning together and him thinking it was his birthday
i'm bizarrely fascinated by punz (attempting to?) convince purpled to join forces with him & dream. idk man it mesmerized me
dream beating Tommy the fuck to death DESERVED
AUs and headcanons we love...
Animals/forms
White enderman dream
cKarl and cDream being bunnies 🐰
Dragon!Dream where XD suppressed his hybrid traits so he’d possessive but doesn’t know why
Goat-hybrid c!Dream and obvs puffy as his mother
WORM BABY DREAM
wolf!Punz!!!! I don't see enough of it but it fits so well!!
Shapeshifter dream
Cdream is just a pair of empty clothes.
Dream being just a human is really cool
Ships/relationships
c!dnf being canon after all
c!DNF were secretly engaged before shit hit the fan. Nobody knew but them.
i love xdnf i think its just so funky, XD as a whole is such and underrated character and i loved his interactions with bad, george, and foolish a lot.
Soulmates but they're aware of it and time spent without the other one knowing slowly kills them (madduo ofc (": )
I know it ain't most peoples cup of tea but I love the family dynamic headcannon between puffy dream and foolish
Dream isn't Puffys bio son and she didn't adopt him when he was little, she just found this grown ass man following her around the server and decided that's her baby now
awesamity forced dream into a relationship during prison i think thats neat and fun to experiment with
Sad Dream
that after prison dream is more animalistic in his movement
Anything related to scars or injuries that c!Dream got from the prison
His hair turning white from revival and stress Or runes from revival on his skin
White haired streaks, scars staying after the dsmp finale, Dream suffering temporary or permanent hearing and vision loss, Dream being created by or otherwise connected to XD somehow, Karl or Wilbur coming back after the dsmp finale with all their memories intact to see everyone getting along happily and being like “what???”
Syndicate Dream
Syndicate Dream is the beloved AU. Let my man heal and have friends and healthy relationships and pets.
syndicate dream! also love the winged dream aus :3
I love post-prison Syndicate healing AUs and the $100,000 duel scar
Former gladiator c!Techno and post prison syndicate healing aus with c!Dream
any dream with the syndicate au tbh.. the soft healing is so perfect <3
cDream peacefully recovering at the Arctic Commune is something very soft and fluff and close to my heart.
I still love Syndicate!Dream AUs (or really any AU that sets him in a place where he can actually try and heal from everything that's happened to him)
The Syndicate AU is just so sweet. It's literally the only "good" ending, I'm sorry. I just love it very, very much.
Dreamon
I love the dreamon stuff
Anything involving Dreamons/Dreamon hunters, esp. that focuses on expanding the worldbuilding and not just “generic demon possession plot.”
We glossed over the "Why does god look like you?" and the whole Dreamon mini arc Far Too Quickly, Like YOU GUYS, WE COULD HAVE HAD MONSTER HUNTERS AND MORE WORLDBUILDING-
Birdhouse? I think?
kat and angela's coparent au
jmah nifty
idk what jmah/mayfair is but i keep on seeing posta about it that seem epic :D
is awesamdream in gay love even a headcanon anymore /j . scrapped lore canon. uhhh. prison drugs??? uhhh. schlatt initiated revive book deal. all ive got boss. lots of fav AUs but jmah + birdhouse + 7y are the ones that spin around in my head rent free that are my own. and coparent makes me SAD
Butterfly chat
dream's butterfly chat headcanon
The butterflies
physical manifestations of chats!! especially with dream's as butterflies or other bugs that typically symbolize things like peace and light
And more!
Dream, George, and/or Sapnap getting involved in Eggpire
My friend and i made a percy jackson au that was really good
Its more of a fanfic where everyone are small bloobs and the reader takes care of them
And Tubbo and Fundy like modded stuff, I bet they could have convinced Dream that they could like a new mini mc project, like idk, smth vaguely based on stranger things but also magic and paranormal and just ughhhhhh, I miss it so much
C!Dream Autistic
Dream is blind in one eye Don't know why but I love that
c!quackitys fucked up eye is magic now that trope just SLAPS. I like the c!Tommy "came back wrong" stuff too.
The Cornelius and C!Dream headcanon.
Syndicate Dream aus are always so comfy, I enjoy reading those a lot. Protégé Tommy aus can be fun to read (I love a good discduo dynamic). I also love reading superhero aus, as long as they don’t depict Dream as a cardboard cutout of evil. I like to read a lot of aus, but those ones stuck out to me especially.
Ranboo's enderwalk isn't actually taller he's just more confident and stands up straighter
Love manhunt AUs, they are the best. also love when Dteam focussed superheroAU. for canon compliet love cDNF or George just going of his rockers. George going insane after canon also great.
I had a headcanon that gods can't fit entirely in the world of the server: Callahan left his voice out, Drista and Kristin left their bodies and possessed players, and DreamXD left his real face so he made a new one from Dream's
Ranboo, Punz and Dream held a disney movie night marathon before staged finale in order to get inspiration
I adore the convict childcare au so much
Ran and Tubbo's son Michael is mute and they use sign with him sometimes
Techno helping dream in prison after quakty would come by letting him have techno’s cape
Everything is the same except everyone is a sock puppet
Pandora's Vault as a living entity
my self indulgent splatoon crossover
Does Eret's finale stream idea count
Modern AU is rotting my brain and sparing none of my braincells
The idea that the revive book as ‘threads’ of life that just take someone out of death by dragging them out of their limbo or weaving their bodies kinda like crocheting
Minecraft worlds are servers +admin + XD was the failsave for the server but got corrupted and gained sentience
I'm attached to the c!q being a trans dude trope . Like yeah little loud poly bi shortguy with something to prove is transgender BIG shocker
Dream comforts Punz after the Egg and frequently checks his eyes for him
Also Guard Dog AU by sunny and all its variations because I love that angst and everyone's take on it REALLY GOOD
Love black dog au so far. Favorite headcanon is that dream has a lot of inhuman traits and is very very expressive!
C!DNF roleswap au by me because it's very self indulgent and brought many demons and my friends have helped on it <3.
C!dream living in Kinoko, with what it implies for c!dteam, c!dream & XD, the c!fiances (because Q will still be around) and c!Techno's interractions with the kingdom
Dream is homeless from techno, its just really funny to me
c!dream eggs monday. does that count?
Okay so theres this AU that only got like two posts on tumblr I think its called Stoplight? Where Dream is an eldrich abomination that thought he was just playing with his friends and that none of the wars were real, hell he doesn't even know what war is! He thought all of DSMP was just one big game of Manhunt where he pretended to play and had a safe word system which Ranboo triggered on accident and revealed to everyone that Dream could stop all of this at any time.
My own canon-divergent AU featuring enemies-to-friend pre-finale Dream and Tommy, 👍. Tommy stalks Dream to a house he made, tries to kill him, fails and gets captured, Dream experiments revival on him and ends up making him immortal, Tommy decides to drag Dream down with him and also make him immortal, and they somehow kind of become “friends” along the way. They are very dear to me, <3. As for a headcanon, the first thing that comes to mind is the idea that Dream’s first limbo was the prison. Another one, tho, is the idea that the revival book is binary, and that when it gets burnt it worms its way into the code, bringing the specified player back to life.
Sorry to the people whose responses were cut. There were just so many. Finally, there will be another results post soon for all the crazy things that were said!
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beyondtheglowingstars · 8 months
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Heyooo can I ask for Four w a super strong crush :0 I’m incredibly tiny but God knows if I liked exercising and also didn’t have arthritis I’d be so buff😭🤚
I feel u bestie, had I kept at training in the gym consistently and I'd probably be able to lift some decently high numbers right now lol
This was a fun one! I'm living for it tbh. Hope you don't mind that I made it headcanons, it sounded 'right' in my head to make it headcanons (anyways, you can always just request a fic if you want one after this haha).
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Four with a super strong (GN) crush (hcs)
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Just like the others, he was very surprised by your strength once you got to show it. It's not that he thought you couldn't be packing some power, but he certainly didn't imagine you'd have that much.
Let's just say that he was very impressed once he got to see that you also had the size to show for your strength, clothes tend to obscure many shapes, and it was clear that you took care of yourself.
His simple friendship with you turned into a massive crush faster than he could realize.
Since all of that's happened, he's felt like he's got much more in common with you than he initially thought. Being very small often had people and foes belittling his skills, and also his strength.
On a related note, he especially likes when a particularly cocky monster chooses to underestimate you based on looks alone, only to regret it not long after. Those are never his kills, but he can't help feeling some level of satisfaction when you put one of those creatures in their place.
Gives you compliments on your strength from time to time depending on a few factors.
But something along the lines of "Great thing we have someone as strong as you on our side!"/"You're very strong, so I'm sure it won't be a challenge for you at all."
If the chance ever arises in conversation with someone outside the chain, he's definitely bragging about how strong you are (and if he's not bragging about that, then you can be sure that he's mentioning another remarkable thing about you) to the other person, most of the time before he can process what he's doing.
A few members of the chain have caught on to the way he looks and talks about you, and he's gotten teased about having a crush on you a few times.
His face always turns red afterwards, because deep down he knows they're right even if he denies it to them.
He'd love to stay perched on your shoulders or back for as long as you'll allow him. He knows that he most likely doesn't weight anything to you.
But he's embarrassed to ask you for that, you'd have better luck with hugs.
But that still doesn't take away the fact that he's put himself to sleep at the thought of cuddling with you and imagining what it would be like to have your arms securely wrapped around him.
He'd love to have you as an occasional blacksmithing helper, not only because you're the person he enjoys being around the most, but also because he secretly wants to put more of your strength to the test and be the only one with front row seats to the event.
Don't worry though, he wouldn't give you any complicated tasks. Just simple things along with teaching you anything if necessary.
Of course, but that's only if you're willing to help him with whatever thing at the forge, he wouldn't force you if you don't want to. His crush on you will remain unchanged either way.
Once he grows more comfortable, he'd end up asking you to lift him up so he can reach higher places or get something that's way too high up for either of you to get, out of pure, lazy convenience.
Though that would mostly happen only when he knows you two are alone, otherwise the other Links would never let the suspicions about his crush on you go.
Hylia only knows what would happen to this man if you ever carry him in your arms, out of battle due to injury.
If he had heart eyes for you before, then now he slipped and fell into a puddle of his feelings for you and refuses to get back up after that, and the puddle only gets bigger by the second.
He'd blush at the mere mention of your name from that point on.
The scene from when you carried him back to safety would play on an endless loop for days on end.
And if his crush was easy to spot for those who paid enough attention, then now it's almost as if he carried a sign that stated all he thinks about is you.
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seth-shitposts · 6 months
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Fulcrum Trio HC
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Besties who help each other work through their trauma, and their trauma has overlapping areas in some parts.
They share a ship, it's the first home they've had in awhile.
It's not uncommon for them to go on missions together. But when they go on missions and things start getting chaotic, only one of them manages to hold onto a brain cell while the other two become more feral. The one who holds the brain cell changes each time.
Cassian is treated as the baby brother and he says he hates it. He'll never admit how much he actually likes it. It took the longest time for him to admit it to himself.
This one was spoken about in comvo with some friends (hi you're probably reading it rn 💙) [ They have platonic cuddle sessions. They're all very touch starved and it starts out as an accident.
Kallus is an octopus cuddler when he manages to drink too much. At first, Kanan had been the one to get trapped, but he managed to slip away. Unfortunately, that means the nearest person would get trapped. Which was Cassian. He just accepted it. There was no way he was going to be able to wrestle out of this two meter man's arms and he wasn't upset about it. In fact, he was very smug about the fact that he cuddled Kallus before Ahsoka did.
Cassian got his payback on Kallus. Cassian cannot hold his liquor nearly as well as Kal and fell asleep laying across his lap. Kallus was not even tipsy, he refused to move. "No. It's illegal." Cassian rarely gets asleep as it is. He was NOT about to wake him. Ahsoka decided that she had enough and sat herself right next to Kallus, laying her head on his shoulder as she gently brushed through Cassa's hair.
After that, the three of them decided to just incorporate it into their routine. It wasn't uncommon for their friends or partners to find the three of them in a puddle of blankets and pillows together.
(Also, any of their partners just as to accept the fact that they're sharing their partner with the other fulcrum counter parts.)
The three of them are usually the reason why there's a weekly supply run made just for Caf.
They have crafts each of them learned when they were younger and they teach them to each other.
On coruscant, since the stars were never visible, especially so far down in the lower levels, stars were a treasured cultural thing. Star-themed nicknames were some of the highest praise or used to emphasize how cherished one was to another. Star maps and holo projectors were an expensive luxury item. Something that was always passed around the youth were paper stars. Kallus was taught how to make them before he even learned how to read or write. The children of the lower levels often sold or traded them for food or other supplies. Pennies for each one. Kallus had made hundreds of thousands of them. When he began to interact with Ahsoka and Cassian more, he picked it back up and would leave them in random nooks and cranies.
On Kenari, Cassian had learned how to braid threads into accessory pieces. Attachments to clothing for special events, bracelets, necklaces, headbands, sashes, even bags. It's something he does occasionally to keep his hands busy. Eventually, he had completed projects but didn't have anything he could do with them. So he gave them away. Commonly, he made braided bands for K2, Bee, and any droid that took a liking to Kallus. (Which kept him busy because "why are there so many droids that decide 'yes. You.' Do you just pick up every droid you see?"
Ahsoka was very young when she came to Coruscant. Master Plo Koon taught her not just about the Jedi Order and training, but little things too. Something that the two of them often did together started out as a way of training but became a shared hobby for them to do as they talked things over or meditated. Master Plo Koon had taught Ahsoka how to embroid and cross stitch with her mind. It was to have a master over precision and patience. It's a practice that Ahsoka never truly dropped. She greatly struggled with it as a youngling and a padawan, but as she got older, she got better at it.
When Ahsoka started teaching Cassian and Alexsandr, she struggled slightly because it was the first time she was doing it by hand rather than through the force, but she enjoyed learning a new way of the craft.
They'll spend hours debriefing over missions, making strategies, or just talking things out as they teach each other their crafts.
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That's all i got atm. Will probably add more later.
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TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 12
Omega: Why are Hunter and Crosshair sitting with their backs to each other? Tech: They had a fight. Omega: Then why are they holding hands? Tech: They get sad when they fight.
Omega: Hey besties- Crosshair: Die. Omega: What did I do to you-
Hunter to Crosshair: Turn that frown upside-down!  *a little while later* Hunter: What are you doing?  Crosshair, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working. Hunter: I taught Gonky a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch! Gonky: *just stands there* Tech: He didn’t do it. Hunter: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.
Crosshair: Hold the fuck up.  Wrecker: Excuse me?  Crosshair: I said hold the fuck up.  Wrecker: Crosshair: I’m the fuck up, hold me.
Wrecker: But that place is haunted. Omega: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident! Wrecker, marching into the haunted house: I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!
Echo: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
Echo: What’s your greatest weakness? Tech: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Echo: Could you give an example? Tech: Yes, I could.
Tech: Are you this rude to everyone?!  Crosshair: Yup.  Crosshair: Don't think you're special.
Wrecker: There was a motor close to where I am right now.  Echo: A motor- a motorcycle?  Wrecker: Oh sorry, a murder.  Crosshair: That escalated quickly.
Echo: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!  Tech: Alright. Crosshair: Hey, I-  Echo: SHUT UP!  Crosshair: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!  Tech: It was bound to be stupid. 
Echo: I’m so tired. Wrecker: Did you get to bed late? Echo: No. Wrecker: Did you do something strenuous? Echo: No. Wrecker: Then why are you tired? Echo: I’m alive. Wrecker: Sounds exhausting.
Crosshair: You know what they say. No pain, no gain. Hunter: What exactly do you have to gain from BLEEDING OUT?!
Crosshair: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together* Wrecker: What are you making? Crosshair: A mistake.
Crosshair: How does that even work?  Wrecker, mocking him: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!  Crosshair: Your face doesn’t make sense.
Wrecker, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.  Tech, entering the room with a small cut on his ankle: Who the f-
Wrecker: You’re overthinking this.  Echo: You don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Wrecker. What if I’m underthinking?
Hunter: Where’s Omega? Crosshair: Around. Hunter: Around? Hunter: You don’t have any idea, do you? Omega, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?
Tech: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.  Omega: What makes you say that?  Tech: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?  Omega: Tech... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?  Tech: *screams in anger* 
Hunter: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?  Tech: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
Wrecker: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?  Tech: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.
Crosshair: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought!  Echo: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?
Crosshair: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
Tech: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?  Tech: And atoms never touch each other.  Tech: So in my defense, officer, I did not punch Admiral Tarkin.
Crosshair, texting Echo: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…  Echo′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.  *Later*  Echo, texting back: Fuck you.
Echo: I’m having salad for dinner!  Tech: Echo: Well, fruit salad.  Echo: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.  Tech: Echo: Okay, it’s all grapes.  Echo: Fermented grapes.  Tech: Echo: Tech: Echo: It’s wine.  Echo: I’m having wine for dinner.
Hunter: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?  Tech: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.
Echo, Entering Wrecker's room: Crosshair did it again.  Wrecker: Peace disturbance?  Echo: What no-  Wrecker: Arson..?  Echo: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-  Wrecker: uh....Attempted murder?  Echo: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-
Tech: Phee and I are no longer dating. Phee: Tech, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
Hunter: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?  Tech: Not again!  Hunter: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.  Echo: Just wait until you hear about whales.  Hunter: What now?
Crosshair: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Tech does? What if he jumps off a cliff?  Wrecker: If Tech were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Tech jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.  Crosshair: You jump off a cliff! Wrecker: Gladly, provided Tech did first. 
*Crosshair rushes by with an armful of water bottles*  Omega: What's going on?  Hunter: Crosshair wouldn't drink water.  Omega: ...And?  Hunter: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.  Crosshair, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!
Hunter: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Wrecker: Hey, Hunter.  Hunter: GODDAMNIT!
Tech: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.
Hunter: What does “take out” mean?  Omega: Food.  Wrecker: Dating.  Echo: Murder.  Crosshair: It can be all three if you’re brave enough. 
Crosshair: Stop asking me if I’m straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.
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herrscherofmagic · 3 months
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(spoiler-free discussion of HI3rd Part 2)
So I finally got to catch up w/ the previous chapter (moon shenanigans w/ Helia & Coralie) and dove right into HI3rd Part 2's release- and I've gotta say, I'm actually enjoying it quite a bit so far!
*Quick disclaimer, I'm playing with CN voices, and the voice acting of a character can really influence a person's perception of them, so keep that in mind
So far each of the main cast we've met so far has been fairly likeable. I was unsure what Sena was gonna be like but so far she fits in quite well. She's got the same bubbly personality as Ely and March, but she has neither the pushy-ness that Ely has nor the snark March has. So she's definitely reminiscent of both of them but still feels like her own person, and since we literally just met her there's gonna be plenty of time for her character to develop.
Also really enjoyed the interactions with Helia and Coralie, it's clear that they're not super besties like Kiana & Mei but they're certainly close as comrades and I'd like to see how their dynamic develops! I'm looking forward to new battlesuits for them someday and I really hope Mihoyo follows through on that idea. I'd love to see how their adventures in the Sea of Data shape their world-view as they're challenged by things that Schicksal's Valk training never could've prepared them for.
and Dreamseeker was quite nice, too! They're not a silent protag, though of course the quasi-self-insert thing does make it a bit more awkward than usual. But overall their presence doesn't really affect the story in a negative way so that's no concern at all, and they contribute to the team a fair bit in terms of both knowledge/wisdom as well as how they interact with other characters and move the conversation forward. They're not super bubbly nor are they cold, they're just ordinary in a charming way, if that makes sense?
and then Songque... ooooohhh lord she was a LOT more than I bargained for in so many ways. in a good way, I think? >.> either way, not gonna say much about her because I don't even know how to begin describing her. I just wasn't expecting her to be so... lively. Like, crazy energetic, in a very controlled-chaos sorta way.
Also in terms of worldbuilding/lore I think it's been handled quite well. It doesn't rely on obscure knowledge from Part 1, i.e. not technobabble-heavy, but if you're familiar with stuff like the workings of the Sea of Quanta then it's easy to see how things are working behind the scenes.
It's a super fascinating concept for a setting and I really like the juxtaposition of past/present as well as how the story seems to fully embrace the chaotic nature of the Sea of Quanta, giving us really strange and unusual sights and writing characters who are born into this strange reality and take it for granted.
Oh. and the new music. pretty good so far! it's nothing at the level of Genshin but that's a really high bar to pass anyways. For HI3rd's standards it's solid work and enjoyable enough to listen to while playing the story & fighting. I have a lot of other thoughts about HI3rd's music as a whole but that's a whoooole other story lol
so yeah. Part 2 released, and HI3rd didn't suddenly combust into flames and explode. So far so good, hard to say how it'll change going forward but there's not much of a point in worrying about that yet. My only regeret is I had to skip 2/3rds of the Fu Hua arc for this because of issues w/ my schedule and how busy I've been, but I think it was the right call cause I'm really looking forward to the new Part 2 story, both main story & side content!
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drconstellation · 7 months
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More Half-and-Half-A-Miracle Thoughts
Part 1: Miracle Power Ranking
Part 2: The Dark side of Aziraphale is here. Part 3: The Third Archangel
I was originally going to add some comments as a reblog to @nofomogirl's post on why the 25 Lazurii miracle was so powerful, but the initial thought I had on the matter slipped away from me during that day, and I was left looking at a glimpse at the viridian green back panel of Aziraphale's waistcoat and wondering what had sparked my original thought, and any attempt to try and grasp it again was a futile as Muriel trying to open Gabriel's file in Heaven.
So I wandered off on other tangents, explored other topics I was curious about, and enjoyed reading the new posts that went up, but the ghost of that viridian green panel kept lurking about with a sharp stick to remind me it was there. So I'm here to post some more thoughts in addition to the op's post that I feel might add to the discussion about the little miracle that worked too well.
I also want to say before I get stuck in (and warning - this is going to be a long one!) that I think no matter how much we discuss this or dig at it, ultimately we just don't have enough information to have a definitive answer as to the why at the moment, and, we may never know. But I'm going to speak because I think I there is at least one thing I haven't seen discussed yet in context with this scene, and should be (at least, I haven't seen it yet - if you have, please let me know.)
So if you're in a TL:DR mode and don't want to open links, here is the list of current theories of why two little "half miracles" made one mighty one:
Theory#1: It's love
Theory #2: It's them
Theory#3: It's a fusion
Theory #4: It's Gabriel
Theory #5: It's the portal (that they did it on top of)
To preface my answering ramble the TL:DR again is - its a fusion of "them" i.e. both #2 and #3 together. As in Aziraphale x Gabriel x Crowley. 3x3x3
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Hang on, that's 27! Not 25! yeah, yeah, I'm not that bad at math. And I'll admit it doesn't fit - it doesn't "snap" into place. But its either that or 5x5 and I wanted to consider all three elements in this miracle working together for the discussion at the start. And there seems to an emphasis on 3's as well as 7's (Maybe you can cut the middle out at the end, once you can see the bigger picture I'm trying to present, but lets leave it this way for now. Maybe it will give you another idea...)
Firstly, consider the three elements, working in synergy. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. As Crowley describes it in S2E6: " Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well." (I was originally thinking of the word "gestalt" but on reflection its probably not the right one.)
"...if we..."
Let's ask who is "we" at this point, and how much miracle power they are contributing to the miracle. Are they contributing equally? Yes? Or no? I want to take a closer look at miracle power: the knowns, the unknowns and the possibilities to explore that.
We've already been told that most day-to-day miracles are down in the mili-Lazurii level, a mere few thousandth of the power of the hiding miracle. And this makes sense - we don't see our protagonists bringing the dead back to life willy-nilly. Aziraphale mentions getting into trouble for doing "too many frivolous miracles." But if its one thing Good Omens stands out for its the conspicuous lack of displays of stupendous power. And this actually doesn't help our understanding of the problem.
Indulge me in a "ranking of power" exercise, if you will.
At the top we have the big three - no, four - er, lets make that five actually! Five ineffably, unarguably, omnipotent entities that every one respects and no one will mess with. They can essentially do what ever they will.
God, and Her (ex-) bestie, Satan.
Azrael, the angel of Death.
Adam Young, the Antichrist, who has retained his powers and is still protecting Tadfield.
And lastly the yet-to be revealed second coming of Jesus Christ.
Lets put them all aside and out of the equation.
Next, we have the Metatron, whom we haven't seen lift a finger, only his voice, yet the mere sight of his face evokes fear. How much miracle power can he wield? That's a big unknown, unfortunately. But being the current right-hand being of the Almighty must give him some serious grunt.
The top brass of the respective bureaucracies starts to raise questions. We have our senior Archangels (the seraphim) and the Dukes of Hell. I have no doubt that Gabriel, as Supreme Archangel of all Heaven, should be capable of performing at least a 1 Lazurii miracle on his own if required, and he could even have the potential to stretch to 25 Lazurii...if he could be bothered.
We know that they can be promoted in an out of those positions, and that raises questions about what happens to their powers when they get promoted or demoted. To gain power when promoted? Or lose it when demoted? Or is it a simply a matter of belief? In which case it might rely on the individual's personality.
When looking for examples of expressed power, in both the book and tv series, it is easier to come up with examples of demonic miracles than angelic miracles, and it makes things look a bit biased, imo. I mean, Crowley aside for the moment (I'll get back to him shortly) you have to be impressed with Hastur's escape from the ansaphone into the call center and manifesting into the mass of maggots, for all he was a bit old fashioned and smelled like poo. Shax playing games with Crowley just outside the shop in S2, manifesting as different characters in rapid succession has to be up there with another good demo of demon power (which it certainly worked to needle Crowley into losing his temper with them.)
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What do we see the Archangels do in comparison? Hmm. Bitch and snitch. Gossip with Hell on the back stairs. Pretend to be buying pornography from Aziraphale. Then physically punch our angel in guts for fraternizing with a demon before disappearing back to Heaven . Not much.
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OK, so Gabriel arrives on a lightning bolt at Tadfield airbase
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and there is that intriguing discussion with Sandalphon regarding Sodom and Gomorrah (just read above the cut, that's the important bit for this meta later on) where he was doing quite a bit of smiting, but its all off screen and in the distant past, we don't actually see them in action.
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Which brings us back to Crowley and Aziraphale. And then more Aziraphale manipulating Crowley into performing miracles for him so he doesn't have to (the little minx.) The list of miracles I can think of that we have seen Crowley do is far longer and seems more impressive than what Aziraphale has done. Oh, but there is the Eldritch Ball, you say? Controlling multiple people at once? (Hold that thought.) He also sent the soldier at the entry gate of the Tadfield airbase all the way back to his home in the USA in an instant (according to the book) and he flew the moped with both Madame Tracey and Shadwell over the top of the Odegra ring of demon fire to get to Tadfield (again, as mentioned in the book.) And as the op back here says, why didn't they just manifest themselves out? Idiots...
On to Part 2: The Dark Side of Aziraphale.
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thisismorrigan · 6 months
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Some of my favorite Good Omens fanfictons from AO3 part 3!
Alright besties! This list is all WIP! So if you're like me willing to wait for updates on these FANTASTIC stories please read these!
WIP:
Fugitives by nightgoodomens (M)
Crowley and Azirphale on the run from demons after he fled Heaven. The angst is on another level! This is a post season 2 fic that feels so true to the characters and how they would actually react in this scenario (in my opinion). The original characters in this story are fantastic and I love them to bits! The plot is so good and I’m just waiting on the edge of my seat for the next update! As of right now it’s not smutty but I put an M rating because I could see it heading that direction in the future.
Lifting Eden by lalalalines (E)
This is a human AU gym meet-cute. Aziraphale is STRONG and Crowley is quite literally falling for him. This is one of those fics that I keep open at all times so I can check for an update every day!
Sunday’s Child by ladydragona (E)
This is another Omegaverse fic where young best friends Crowley and Aziraphale get separated at a young age and don’t see each other again for many years. It’s the marriage of convenience trope and a smidge of pining. 
It’s A Sin (presumably) byBadIdeasGalore (T)
This fic takes you through the years of them knowing each other and gives more context to their relationship. The end of the first chapter is the twist we all wanted from the last 15. I’m excited to see where the author takes this story! Very well written!
Incarnate by catfishcigarettecard (E)
This fic is so so so good! This is an Omega verse fic that takes place in heaven. I’ve been checking for a new chapter every. single. day. It’s a bit on the “rougher” side so please read all of the tags and warnings 
Now We Can Be Us by randumgirl (E)
I love the idea of these two “retiring” to a cottage once all of this nonsense is done and over with and that’s exactly what this is. It’s supposed to be a post season 3 fic.  I love that the author is so kind to these characters. It’s smutty and fluffy. What else could a girl want?!
And They Were Streamers by ghostrat (T)
I’ve read several of ghostrat’s works and I’ll tell you what! They are fantastic! This one is based off of their art work of Crowley and Aziraphale as streamers! There are only two chapters so far but I was hooked immediately. The trope is friends to lovers and it’s so freaking cute!
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muddyorbsblr · 8 months
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thots & theories :: loki season 2 episode 1
This post will contain spoilers for the first episode of Loki Season 2 under the cut so please if you haven't watched yet, then press Keep Reading at your own risk.
What you will find under the cut: Whoring out and the return of a side of me that I never actually thought would ever come out again…"Theorist Ally" 🥴🫡
Thots
Please tell me I wasn't the only one at risk of heading to the ER from choking after seeing that first shot of TVA agents chasing Loki down the hallway like besties & fellow whores I did not have "Marvel mercifully decides to leave the mango untouched" in my 2023 bingo card. But we actually got that shot in HD now and it's blowing my tiny whoring mind 🥵😮‍💨
And all the hair flips we got once he lands from a time slip with the tense jaw and neck muscles like Sir we're trying to feel for you and feel the urge to wrap you in a blanket and give you cuddles, but you're making it really hard not to think about [redacted]
Lemme just give y'all some shots that had me feeling all kinds of ways throughout this episode:
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Thoughts
Something I really appreciated in this was that while Loki was concerned about how the time slipping looked to people witnessing it, Mobius was more concerned about how Loki felt experiencing it. Precious beb deserves to have someone that actually cares to that level and that bit just warmed my cold dead heart 🥹
In the same vein as above, Mobius' refusal to give up on Loki coming back until the last possible second and even begging OB to hold off a little longer really struck a chord with me because again, he now has someone that isn't just concerned about his well-being but also will believe in him even if everyone's going to tell them to give up 💖
The scene where OB was remembering new memories from his past in realtime during his conversation with Mobius in the present was something that I found insanely clever like let me tell you I was geeking out about it on my couch at 9am on a Friday morning
The sequences where Loki begins to realize in seconds where he's been yoinked off to in the timeline was a really good showcase of how smart our stabby boi is because he was using elements in his surroundings to form a timeline in his head to estimate where he was and he's doing all this under the pressure of not knowing when he's going to disappear again and under visibly excruciating pain 🥺💖
I'm living for the fact that B-15's part of the main group of characters and she really served that look of "are you fucking kidding me and right in front of my salad" when General Dox and X-5 were having their little moment.
Speaking of Dox and X-5…something's going on with those two and if y'all are thinking "mother/son" then lemme just nudge you in the direction of Oedipus Complex because…something about those two don't sit right with me 😖😖
The whole profound emotional moment with Sylvie finally feeling like she can breathe and not have to worry about running anymore and actually eat something that isn't something she hunted would have had the teeniest bit more impact if it didn't take place in a McDonald's but I gotta admit I too have once considered trying the entire menu 😂
Theories
Let's start off with my theories surrounding the scene where they fix the Temporal Loom because I have a feeling that we're going to be returning to that sequence and that setting quite a few times towards the end of the season. And with that sequence alone I have so many questions.
Like how did Sylvie get stuck in the elevator? Who pruned Loki that allowed him to return to his present timeline and also save Mobius in the process? Who's on the other end of the line on that ringing phone in the future? Why is General Dox sending troops upon troops of Minutemen to Sylvie's location and how is she even certain that where they're all headed off to is the location they're after?
So here's a few of my theories/predictions for what we're about to see as Season 2 plays out:
Loki prunes himself – I think we're going to revisit that scene where Loki gets pruned only from a more future Loki's point of view where we see that he's the one that prunes Episode 1 Loki so that he could be extracted and returned to his present timeline. He's the one holding the time stick.
General Dox is a tertiary antagonist – in the grand scheme of the season I think she and X-5 will probably at most be a nuisance with some firepower, but they're not the biggest threat after Kang, which leads me to…
OB is a secondary antagonist – I know I know we love him right now because he's fun and quite matter of fact, but hear me out. I think that his priority will be fixing the Temporal Loom which goes against what at least B-15 stands for because each branched timeline has countless lives living in them. He knows how the loom works and he knows how to repair it, so he puts that above all else to the extent where he could try and reconcile them all once again into a Sacred Timeline. Point is, he won't want the Loom to break.
Rennslayer and Kang are the primary antagonists…and maybe also Minutes? – that casual hard launch in the beginning scenes where Loki's in the past TVA hasn't left my mind and I think this is where we're headed
And now here's where I go tin foil hat and give my most out there theory that I hope won't happen but something tells me that it will.
So…y'all know how in Doctor Who, Clara Oswald sacrifices herself into the Doctor's timeline and splits herself into thousands (maybe even millions) of iterations of herself with the singular goal of saving the Doctor? She becomes a being that is destined to make that decision again and again because the Clara that jumped into the timeline was a life that's probably already been created as a result of that very sacrifice?
That type of circular infinite path of life is like the snake that's forever doomed to eat its own tail in a circle until the end of time. That concept and that symbol is called an Ouroboros.
And now that I've given that long winded intro here's the part where some of you are about to click off and call me delulu and you know what valid but if you're still here and you wanna see the clown show here we go:
Loki will become an Ouroboros
I don't think this episode was just titled "Ouroboros" because we're being introduced to OB. I think there was a more profound meaning to the episode title, that meaning being that this is the path that Loki's headed down. I think he sacrifices himself in the scene where he faces the Temporal Loom without a protective suit on and this will cause him to split into infinite versions of himself throughout the timelines. And one of these infinite versions will find himself in the Future TVA where he sees the Loki from Episode 1 running in search of a time stick.
Now I can already hear some of you going "But Ally why would he do that?" And I'm going to pull from Loki's words directly to explain what his motive could be to do such a thing:
"I want to save my friends"
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Now with all that being said, I'm totally open to other theories and I genuinely hope that my big theory is not correct because I really don't like that that's the route my brain went when trying to connect the pieces.
Gonna go and tag some usual suspect besties in this (and not gonna put this into the series tag because self preservation): @gigglingtiggerv2 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @coldnique @peachyjinx @gruftiela @lokisgoodgirl @loopsisloops @give-me-a-moose @lokischambermaid @tallseaweed @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @joyful-enchantress @november-rayne @ladyofthestayingpower @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @liminalpebble @simplyholl +++
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lover-of-mine · 2 months
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honestly I know I’m being deranged but not even a ‘brother’ could draw a line under anything for me 😅 there have been other tv show ships that have called eachother brother/sister and still got together in the future. and i guess right now the way they view their relationship IS brothers and besties so… unless eddie says ‘you are my legal and biological brother we actually have the same mom surprise!’ lmao it doesn’t mean it’s dead in my eyes. although i think most of the fandom will give up 😬
Okay, I don't think it will be dead either, as long as the show is on, there's a chance they'll pivot that way, like, legit *knock on wood* keep us limbo just to have them kiss in the final 10 minutes of the last episode of the show *knock on wood* just to say they did make them canon in the end *knock on wood* but I would take a brother as a "we don't plan on letting you see them being a couple" and settle in to watch them dance around it forever. But the thing is, the show is very careful about not letting them talk to or about each other in "you're my best friend" or "you're my brother" terms, and they even go as far as not having Chris call Buck uncle Buck when it is very common in latino cultures to have a kid call any safe adult tio/tia (I am tia Anna to kids I'm not biologically related to, and my parents' friends were always tio/tia for me growing up) and it would make sense to have Chris address Buck like that. They do have the "you're badass under pressure, brother" in under pressure and the "you said it, brother" in merry exmas, and Buck does ask Maddie "how do you tell your best friend you lost his kid?" and Eddie says he "lost his partner" in jinx although he means it literally as work partner. To have them say something like that after not doing it since the tsunami, and not letting them refer to each other directly like that since 2a, makes a statement. Even more with the way Eddie loves to dance around what Buck means to him. If Eddie makes any statement point blank, it will give the impression that he actually means it, considering Buck's insecurities putting them in the place he has to say it, does that make sense? I'm not abandoning ship anyway, the question is if after next week I will kick back and settle in for however many more seasons we have left of will they/won't they, or if I will be at the edge of my seat every time they're on screen together because any time now, yk?
Because the thing with this particular setup going the way it looks like it's going, is that they can keep it vague, they can make it platonic, but they can legit make buddie canon. Not they actually get together canon, but legit have Buck do something that can't be read as platonic, like for example Eddie goes "you're my best friend, man" *pulls Buck into a hug* *Buck relaxes against him* *sad noise* "friend, yeah" *fade to black* and bam, you have something, because Buck being frustrated with the idea of being the "best friend" after freaking out that Eddie has a new friend can't be twisted into something platonic. It would be the same thing they did with bucktaylor at the end of treasure hunt, while we all knew they were gonna go there, Buck's "friends, great" seals it. But they can keep it vague in less platonic ways, Eddie says something like "you're stuck with me" "I'm not going anywhere" "you really think you can get rid of me that easily?" and maintain the level of keep them guessing we are used to, along with the possible brother that draws a platonic line. I think that with the way the episode seems to be forming, that scene makes or break it, but in a "we will definitely see them be a couple in the future" or "we will be in limbo forever" way.
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callmearcturus · 8 months
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RE your poll about being intimidating, in the gentlest way I can put it; you give off the aura of the nicest kid at the playground? You have so many friends that you're already playing with that it seems impossible you might be open to playing with anyone else. And for people who have followed you for a bit, it becomes apparent that while you like clever asks and comments, you're content with your current friend circle. Which is fine! You don't OWE anyone attention and you definitely have good reason for keeping things close(Arc Deep Lore). But people treat tumblr like that playground where it's as simple as "i like your shirt- i like yours- we're friends now", not the high suspect website that it is. And encountering someone who does guard their heart and privacy fiercely can be discouraging, maybe enough that people give up. This is a long answer and I am so sorry, I hope it makes sense. Feel free to answer or not, whatever you're comfy with!
That's a very interesting and insightful answer. I do have people I consider close friends who can basically have my attention on demand.
But I would point out that to get to that point of friendship, everyone starts off... not at that point, you know? Like, Punct and I are megacollaborating right now, but that started as "omg punct keeps leaving really smart funny comments, i wanna befriend them" and then we were just ambiently around each other in a discord server and now we DM and argue about fic outlines every night.
I'm a huge proponent of the idea that there are different levels of friendship, from fandom-specific acquaintances to longtime mutuals to I have two people I refer to as my brother and one of them went on vacation with me a few weeks ago. And none of those "tiers" are bad. It's fun to have fannish friends! It's fun to have lifelong besties you'd take a bullet for.
I also think I get fewer asks than you would assume, which might be part of the Arc Is Intimidating thing lmao.
Anyway, this is an interesting answer and I'm nodding. I have very firm boundaries and that's maybe what's intimidating.
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kenobster · 2 months
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Hey just wanna say i (as an individual who ships obikin) thank u for putting encouraging words about obikin even if u see them as besties. It’s really discouraging to see so many other shippers sh*tting on obikin people just for shipping obiwan and anakin. Yes ik it’s a controversial ship if u look at it closely but i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them). I dont shit on other ships (unless it’s really REALLY problematic) and like cant they just leave us alone in peace?? Same with reylo like yes it’s another controversial ship but again if u dont think and/or look too hard then just have fun with it.
I dont mind codywan im not a huge fan but i see why they ship it, just aint feeling it like obikin does. Same for the rest of other ships (except for dinluke i will die for it as well)
Sorry for the ramble (^^;) long story short that campaign speech u put for the silly ship poll was well put!
Hi anon, I am incredibly glad to hear that I could reassure you after all the mean things that antishippers have been saying about your ship. Ship and let ship is a crucial rule in this house of mine, in which Obikin and Codywan are both very welcome. :D
However, I do invite you to examine some of your own beliefs about this subject. Specifically, I'm curious what compelled you to say "I don't shit on other ships (unless it's really REALLY problematic)." While that's the part that most stood out to me, there is other concerning verbiage in your ask (i.e. the frequent use of the word "controversial" and "if u don't think and/or look too hard" which both felt like similar apologetic statements you use when shipping something you feel others will judge you for).
First, I want to highlight what you said about why you ship Obikin — "i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them)." To me, that communicates that you don't see any harm in someone enjoying a ship purely because it is appealing to them. Additionally, you say, "can't they just leave us alone in peace??" which suggests frustration that other people don't share your opinion.
Is it possible that the "really REALLY problematic" ships are enjoyed by people for reasons similar to yours? Is it possible that they, too, would like others to leave them alone and let them enjoy a harmless hobby in peace? What makes it acceptable to shit on their ships and not yours? Who gets to decide which ship is an Obikin-level ship and which is a "really REALLY problematic" ship? You? Me? Can you be certain that our definitions agree?
The first thing you should consider is what makes you feel like a ship is "really REALLY problematic." I think you'll find that most of it is a Squick factor — a gross-level factor. Maybe Obikin is "hot" to you, but it does gross other people out. Similarly, perhaps some ships, especially ones with components that might not make much sense in real life, are "hot" to others but gross you out.
For example, I'd like you to picture Chancellor Palpatine kissing AOTC Anakin on the mouth. Make sure your imagination includes Anakin's young boyish features and his barely-legal Padawan braid. 😉 Now imagine them having sex. In case you're having a hard time picturing this, here's some pictures of them to help you out! 😊
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If you're like most people I know, I bet you're super grossed out right now. You might even consider Palpakin to be much more problematic than Obikin. But I chose Palpakin as a comparison for a reason! Because, when it comes down to it, how are these two ships any different in scale? Anakin views both Obi-Wan and Palpatine as a father figure. Both have mentored Anakin since he was 9 years old. There is a significant age gap and power imbalance in both ships. I've even read both Obikin and Palpakin fics that feature sexual activities with Anakin while he's still a minor.
It seems the only difference is that one tends to gross out the average person more than the other. Is being grossed out a reason to shit on someone's harmless hobby? For example, I'm extremely grossed out by sushi. Is that a reason to ban sushi worldwide? Obikin might gross me out, but I don't come after you or your fellow shippers. Palpakin might gross you out, but that's not an excuse to come after me. And maybe other ships gross both of us out, but I will not join you in going after them.
In other words, ALL fandommers, as you so aptly put, "just want to be left alone" and "enjoy the chemistry" of their ship without "thinking about it too hard." So until you agree that NO ship is problematic, you are inviting the same criticism upon ships that YOU like. Because anti-shippers aren't just coming for the "really REALLY problematic" ships; they're coming for every single one of them.
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