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badgerbl00d · 1 year

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one piece boys confessing their feelings

☆ characters: zoro, mihawk

☆ up next: what are we? (law x reader)

☆ a/n: my two favorite swordsmen.. i didn't realize how much i missed writing for zoro so definitely expect more marimo content in upcoming posts. enjoy lovelies!

zoro

“Let’s go fishing, Usopp,” Luffy laughed, “Oi! Zoro! Wanna fish with us? I heard there’s Sea Kings in these waters!”

Zoro waved a hand in Luffy’s direction to dissent, though he wasn’t really paying attention to anything happening around him.

A third bottle of beer found its way into the hands of the scarred swordsman, and was happily chugged within seconds.

His head was buzzing, though not from alcohol.

He was nervous.

He wiped his sweaty palms against his shirt for the umpteenth time that night, trying to work up a sense of courage.

To his satisfaction, no one else had seemed to notice his behavior,

You were flipping through a magazine with Nami, suntanning in the tiniest bikini he’d ever seen.

He couldn’t think straight when you were around and he really needed to- now more than ever.

For weeks now he’d been trying to think of how to admit his feelings to you- a harder feat for him than most.

To completely let down every wall he’d spent years and years building up for even just a moment or two of vulnerability.

He’d come close to telling you several times already, and he was pretty sure he might have let something slip before when he was drunk, leading to more than one awkward morning after. He’d avoid you, beat himself up over it, get drunk again that night to forget anything ever happened, and repeat the night before.

It was a disaster.

“You know,” Sanji had said one particularly awkward morning after- more to himself than Zoro, “You’d have a better shot if you didn’t ignore her completely the morning after a horrendously drunk and half-assed confession.”

Zoro had ignored him and stormed out to cut something in half but his advice- if you could call it that- stuck with him.

So here he was now, looking for a quiet place so he could rehearse what he was going to say.

What did he want to say? He paced back and forth, muttering lines he’d written down from movies or famous love quotes.

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” he’d tried, turning towards a mirror to see how he looked.

Absolutely not. You’d definitely read that book.

“You have bewitched me body and soul- No. No way, I’m not saying that.”

He crushed the piece of paper in his fist and opted to take a nap and have a drink, failproof support systems that had yet to fail him.

“I don’t know, Nami,” you said, “I mean he’s been drunk every single time and it’s starting to really piss me off.

It’s like… every time I’m stupid enough to believe it! Even though I know he’s drunk he gets so sincere for a moment or two and says stuff like ‘You're really beautiful you know that?’ or ‘I feel… a connection with you’. And I’m dumb enough to believe it every damn time.”

“And then he ignores you the next day and pretends nothing happened.”

“Yeah. It’s so weird though, ‘cause I swear- it’s like he gets possessed by rationality and calm in the midst of being a drunken idiot and he says these things with such intent! It’s jarring. I mean he goes from a moron to a Jane Austen romantic hero. What the hell is that?”

“I mean, no offense,” Nami started, your stomach churned with dread before she could even continue, “But maybe he’s just.. you know, trying to hook up. Drop some half assed compliments and hope that’s enough to get him laid.”

An uncomfortable feeling of sadness swallowed you whole. You sighed, taking a sip of your drink.

“I know. I don’t think he’s lying about the attraction, but it would save me a lot of grief if he was just straightforward. That way I could just hook up with him and get it over with.”

Nami laughed, “Gross! You know he showers like once a week right?”

“I can fix him,” you said, laughing with her.

The boys had caught a mountain of fish and sea creatures, so Sanji had promised you all a feast.

Brook had started playing before the sun had set and Robin and Franky were dancing.

You played some beer pong with Luffy and Usopp, while Nami helped Sanji in the kitchen.

You loved nights like these, but as much as you wanted to enjoy yourself you knew that with parties and fun came booze.

And with booze came a certain drunken swordsman promising you sweet nothings.

You tried to focus on the game but were getting badly beat.

You walked into the kitchen to sit with Nami who was sipping on a piña colada, special treatment from Sanji, of course.

“Make me one too Sanji-kun! Please,” you asked.

He gladly obliged.

The three of you talked and laughed while Sanji cooked, enjoying the music and sight of the younger boys playing with Chopper.

The kitchen door swung open and in walked Zoro, who had been very clearly napping. His hair was matted in some places and his eyes still carried the sag of someone who’d been involuntarily woken up from a nap.

“Smelled food,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

You finished your drink and got up out of your seat.

“Leaving, Y/n?” Sanji asked.

Zoro turned to look at you, like he was about to say something.

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna go read for a bit. Thank you for the food!”

Nami shot you a sympathetic look and waved bye to you.

Zoro sighed, not totally oblivious to the timing of his entrance and your departure.

Sanji and Nami glared at him.

He rolled his eyes at them, “I’ll fix it.”

And he walked out to join Luffy.

Amidst the general excitement that had spread itself throughout the crew over the course of the night was Zoro who was making his way toward the crow’s nest, in hopes of finding you.

You were tucked into a corner of the room, reading a book.

Your knees were up on the sofa and you seemed to be nearly asleep.

He felt somewhat guilty interrupting you.

But it was now or never.

He walked in, not saying anything.

You sat up, closing your book.

Your stomach was in a knot.

The swordsman sat next to you, close enough that his knee touched yours.

He was sitting up straighter than usual, and seemed restless, fidgeting with his hands until he finally set his left hand on top of your right one that was resting beside you.

Your eyes widened, you were surprised by this, but didn’t say anything.

“Y/n, can I tell you something? I’ve been meaning to for a while but I- Well, I’ve never done anything like this before so I fucked it up. More than once. So I’m going to fix it right now.”

You nodded hesitantly, caught somewhat off-guard by his unusual behavior.

“I love you.”

Your heart stopped.

Everything around you momentarily stopped as your brain tried to catch up to speed with everything that had just happened.

In an instant you were suddenly hyper-aware of everything- the strong pulse of your heartbeat, the sweat that had gathered on your palms, how you felt suspended in both motion and time as he sat waiting for some kind of response.

But you knew Zoro, and recognized that rosy glow on his cheeks. You knew that when he approached you after midnight with unusual confidence and gusto, on a night when you’d all been celebrating.

How he always sat next to you, closer and closer every time, this time placing his hand on top of yours.

You broke eye contact to look down at your hands.

“I love you, too,” you chose to interpret it as a friendly drunken slip-up, “Make sure you tell everyone else that you love them too, or they’ll get jealous.”

You turned back to your book, trying to ignore the ache in your chest, covering it up with an unconvincing smile.

“No.”

You turned, confused, “N-no?”

“I meant it.”

You didn’t say anything, just stared at him.

“I love you.”

The air around the two of you was completely stagnant, full of tension.

He’d done this before; gotten drunk, been suddenly affectionate and touchy, and then acted completely normal the next day, even ignoring you when you tried to talk to him about it.

You weren’t going to let it happen again.

Scoffing, you brushed him off, moving your hand out from under his.

“You’re drunk,” you said, trying to ignore the disappointment that had started to spread throughout your body, “Why don’t you get some water? Or bread? But don’t do this to me again.”

You got up and placed your book down, ready to make your way to your room and try and forget anything had happened, like he would.

A hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Zoro stood up behind you and turned you around to face him.

“I’m not drunk,” he started, “Last thing I’d want to do is ruin this with some kind of idiotic drunken rant. I-I want to remember this- I want you to remember this!

Everything about this- how damn cold it is up here, what you’re wearing, what I say to you, how it ends, everything.”

His hands were squeezing your shoulders, and his stare was full of an intensity you couldn’t have reciprocated if you tried.

You’d seen him before in battle- swords drawn, back hunched, and eyes settled onto his victim like a hungry animal.

But this was different, it was vulnerable. He was being weak in front of you.

He took a deep breath.

You had never felt so focused in your life, your eyes were intently set on his and your brows furrowed in concentration as you took in everything about this moment.

“I love you! I love you and- and I don’t mean it the way we say it to each other in battle, or as crewmates.

I hate that! I hate calling you my crewmate, my friend, my companion.

You are!

You are, but I hate that that’s all I can call you.

So I came to you to tell you that I love you.

Entirely.”

He brought his hands down to interlace them with yours.

“I love you,” he said again, this time bending down slightly to level his eyesight with yours.

He looked at you with concern, lips slightly parted.

Your breath was shaky and you had unconsciously grabbed onto his forearms to stabilize yourself while you tried to process what was happening.

You stayed silent, your confusion as evident as his desperation.

Another few moments passed with no words exchanged, it felt like the whole world was holding its breath- waiting for you to say anything.

You took a deep breath and swallowed, your mind racing through the millions of different things you wanted to say.

How dare you? Are you serious? I love you too! I never want to talk to you again. I love you too! What happens now?

Zoro’s grip on your shoulders softened and his shoulders sunk. A look of disappointment settled itself onto his stoic features and he let go of you, in a kind of heartbroken acceptance.

He nodded, more to himself than you.

“Goodnight,” he said, walking back out.

“Zoro- Zoro, wait! Wait, please.”

He stopped and turned around- Were those tears in his eyes?

“I love you, too,” you said, in a much calmer tone than expected, “I have since I set foot on this ship, since I first saw you. I love you.”

His eyes widened and he picked you up in his arms, wrapping them around your waist as you sunk into his chest hugging him back with all the force you could muster.

He spun you around, pressing kisses to the top of your head.

You cried into his chest, and felt a tear or two fall onto your forehead when you looked up at him as he finally set you down.

“I thought that- I thought I’d fucked everything up and that-”

Zoro was rambling, his hands holding onto you again, with a grip that reassured you he didn’t want to let go.

You interrupted him by crashing your lips into his, sending him reeling backwards.

He landed on the floor, one arm breaking the fall and the other wrapped around you.

You straddled him and deepened the kiss bringing your hands to rest on his chest as he pulled you closer into his body.

The two of you kissed and kissed, pulling away only when you were desperate for breath, before resuming again.

When you were finally tired enough, you simply sat smiling like idiots at each other.

“I should’ve been honest with you months ago,” Zoro said, bringing a hand up to your face, his thumb gently brushing over your cheek.

You grabbed his forearm, leaning your cheek into his hold.

A smile spread out over your face.

“It’s okay, I knew.”

mihawk

He’d been dreading it for weeks- months, even.

Never in his life did he think that he’d find himself in a position of having to stay on Red Hair’s ship, but here he was. Sat at a table on the deck, an overflowing pint of beer in his hand, and Red Haired pirates laughing and swearing and drinking on all sides of him. And then out of nowhere, there was you.

They told him you’d been part of the crew for 5 months now, a rookie pirate in need of a ship and some stability and had found your way onto the Red Force after winning several games of poker against Shanks.

He’d had an eye on you from the moment you walked out onto the deck, in a pair of deliciously short shorts and a tank top that hugged your curves in the most alluring way he’d ever seen.

You poured yourself a pint and played a game of blackjack with members of the crew whose name’s he didn’t know, or care to know.

He sat with Shanks and the other officers in the crew.

“She’s somethin’, isn’t she?” Shanks asked, laughing as he took note of his friend’s interest in you, much to his evident annoyance.

“I suppose I just didn’t think a woman like that would be on a crew like yours, Red Hair.”

“Neither did we,” Benn chimed in, earning a playful nudge from his captain.

A sudden eruption of noise diverted their attention towards the betting table you were sitting at.

You were smiling, graciously accepting your winnings from your crewmates who were alleging cheating.

“There’s only four jacks in a deck!”

“I saw her hand moving!”

“She was card counting!”

Yasopp laughed and called you over, “Before they start swinging!”

You approached their table, weaving your way toward them through your drunk and rowdy crewmates, before taking a seat next to Mihawk, who was clearly uneasy with your presence.

What was he supposed to do? He felt a strange desire to make a good impression on you, and realized part of him was hoping to form a friendship. His stomach churned at the unusual feeling.

“Didn’t think I’d ever meet a legend like yourself,” you’d said to him, as you extended your hand, “Y/n, pleasure to meet you.

You’re a lot less scary in person! And a lot more handsome.”

You smelled like cherries and whiskey, sweet and addicting.

He took your hand, despite his embarrassment at your compliments and against his better judgment followed up with, “Likewise.”

Shanks whistled, and put his arm around the swordsman’s shoulders, “Never seen you flirt before!”

The table laughed and you asked Benn for a cigarette, bending over to let him light it for you.

“Calm down, Shanks,” you said as you puffed a small cloud of smoke, “No one’s flirting.”

He felt his chest tighten slightly, had you not been flirting? He wasn’t experienced but he figured that you had at least professed some kind of interest.

You turned to look at him and winked.

His chest tightened again.

Lucky had started another card game, and you played as you talked. Mihawk asked about your life before piracy- a story for another time, you’d told him. He talked about details of his life that were unknown even to Shanks- small things like his garden at home, his favorite things to cook, and even certain details of his warlord duties. It was unlike him to share anything with anyone, but the way you stared up at him batting your big doe eyes with a cigarette hanging lazily from your plump glossy lips… he found himself unable to resist the urge to keep you interested in his presence.

The noise of the ship eventually faded into the background, the talking and laughing melting into their own conversations.

Hours passed and eventually music started playing, some other new crew members that had brought their instruments on board with them.

“We finally have some good musicians, don’t we Y/n?” Shanks asked.

“Mhmm,” you replied, looking through your cards barely paying him any attention. You tapped your feet rhythmically against the floor, humming along to the quick paced flamenco melody that was playing.

“Do you dance, swordsman?” you asked, turning to look at Mihawk.

You heard Shanks groan in the background.

“Occasionally.”

You set your cards down, face up, revealing a winning hand. The rest of the table threw their cards down in frustration.

“Will you do me the honors?”

A rare smile settled onto his face. He offered his hand to help you up out of your chair, and you guided him to a more open area on the deck. He placed a hand on your waist, and you took a guilty pleasure in how unyielding his grip was against you. You could feel the pads of each of his fingers holding onto your soft skin, and trailed your hand up to his face, lightly tracing a finger down the side of his neck before resting your hand on his shoulder.

People whistled and clapped.

“Keep up,” you said.

“I’ll try.”

He appreciated your warning, you were like a different person when dancing. The cool, calculated demeanor you adopted when playing cards with your poker face perfected and your breathing steady and even, was completely washed over by a fiery intent to move.

He did struggle to keep up at first, you slipped through his hold like water, your feet moving and landing between and around him like a downpour of rain.

He managed to match your tempo- catch the tail end of your movements and proved a worthy partner, but he didn’t come close to matching your mastery of the art.

By the time the song was finished beads of sweat dripped down his neck, and his heart was pounding loud enough that he could barely hear the cheering coming from the other pirates.

He wanted to give you the credit of wearing someone of his caliber out, he could take on a hundred men and barely increase his heart rate.

This was different though- the beating in his chest, the excitement in his belly, the way his eyes clung to your figure as though attached with string. He couldn’t get enough of you, he inhaled smelling your perfume again.

Another smile settled onto his face, one of satisfaction.

Three week had passed and Mihawk was grabbing the last of his things- a photo of the two of you you’d forced him to take. It was of you pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Shanks lightly knocked on his door.

“Sure you don’t want to stay another week?” he asked, awkwardly standing by the door.

“That’s what you came to ask?”

Shanks rubbed the back of his neck, “No, it’s actually about Y/n.”

This caught his attention.

“What about her?”

“Well,” Shanks walked over to sit on the bed, “I think you should talk to her before you leave, tell her how ya feel.”

“How I… feel? And how exactly do you think I feel?”

“C’mon man, it’s obvious- No offense. The way you two look at each other? You danced with her. In front of people.”

The swordsman scoffed, but didn’t disagree and chose to maintain his silence as he packed the rest of his clothes.

“She likes ya, Hawk-eye. I think you knew that though.

Don’t say anything if you’re gonna hurt her.”

He got up and gave him a friendly pat on the back before heading back out, “We’re headed to a bar right now, so you’ll have the ship to yourself. Take care of her!”

It was unclear whether he was talking about the ship or you.

Mihawk sighed, he adjusted the collar of his loosely fitting white shirt, and set out to find you.

You were in one of the common areas, one of the musicians was showing you how to play the guitar. Plucking at a few strings here and there, you laughed and sang, trying to play a song with your clearly limited ability.

Mihawk stood and watched you for a moment, before clearing his throat.

You turned, smiling when you saw him.

“What do you think? Good enough to dance to?”

He let out a light laugh, “Maybe in ten years.”

You smiled, plucking a few more strings before asking, “What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be packing?”

“I was hoping to speak with you for a moment,” he paused when you stayed put, “Alone.”

Your eyes widened, “Oh! Of course!”

You handed the guitar back to its owner, ignoring the whistles that followed you out of the room.

You took Mihawk’s arm and walked toward the deck, your stomach turning.

You stopped at the railing, leaning over it, trying to take deep breaths of the salty air to calm yourself.

What on Earth could he have to talk to you about? Shanks had promised not to say anything… Could he possibly-

“I’m… very appreciative of your company these past few weeks.

You’re a very intelligent, talented, beautiful woman, and I cannot think of a better companion with whom to have spent my time,” he started, interrupting your train of thought.

You softly smiled, a light breeze dancing around you both.

You said nothing and only looked up at him, unsure of how to pick up from where he left off.

Luckily, he continued, “You… You are a good friend. Of mine, I mean. And I hope that my departure from this ship won’t change our proximity.”

Friend. A dull, warm pain ebbed in your chest.

It wasn’t sharp like a direct rejection would have been, it felt more like a heavy rock had been gently placed right on your heart.

You nodded, looking out toward the ocean when you felt some tears well up in your lash line.

Blinking them away you turned back toward him suddenly emboldened by the memory of how he held you that night when you danced.

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but can I ask if you hold me in any higher regard than that of a friend?”

He was silent. Color rushed to his cheeks and he stared down at you. His eyes were undersold in legend. To say they were hypnotizing was a disservice. They were compelling- when you made eye contact with him your entire being longed to be with him.

“I do.”

You exhaled, tension lifting itself from your shoulders.

“I like you, swordsman,” you gently wrapped your hands around his, bringing his hand up to your chest, placing it against the left side, “I’ll miss dancing with you. Please visit. Please don’t forget me.”

In a sudden motion, Mihawk wrapped you into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around your shoulders as he pressed you into him.

You wiggled your arms free and quickly reciprocated the hug.

You breathed in a long, long inhale, and as you exhaled sunk even further into him.

“I’ll visit,” he promised, “I’ll write. I’ll call- I’ll think of you always. You’re quite unforgettable, you know?”

You laughed and looked up to him as his hold on you softened.

You inched yourself up onto the tips of your toes, hovering your lips just slightly over his.

A smile creeped onto his face, and his hands dispersed across your body, one grabbing onto your ass- something he’d longed to do since the first moment he saw you. The other hand wrapped around your waist to provide you support.

You brought your hands to the collar of his shirt, gently tugging him toward you.

His lips closed around yours, and you deepened the kiss- pulling him closer into you, your tongues swiping at each other as you closed your eyes and indulged.

You inhaled each other- the taste of wine and mint flooding your mouth, the smell of his cologne overwhelming your senses.

The strong grip he had on your ass was so deliciously indulgent.

You let out a soft moan into his mouth before you pulled away from one another.

He tucked some stray hair behind your ears, and you gently wiped some of your gloss from his bottom lip.

“I’ve been waiting for that for weeks now.”

He picked you up, making his way toward your room, peppering your face and neck with kisses and you laughed and kissed him back.

“Let me make it up to you, hermosa.”

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amuseoffyre · 5 months

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Stede's progression of realising how bad things became is so quietly done through s2. Especially since the start point is him knowing Ed marooned his crew.

Plus, despite what everyone seems to think about him, Stede knows a lot more about Ed's past actions than they seem to realise. He knows about Ed's dad (something no one else knows), he knows about the burning ships and the toe-cutting and the skinning.

He just is... coming at it from the wrong angle at the start of the season.

"he's just letting off some steam" - it's still all just pirating activity, if a lot more intense than usual

"why would he [kill me]?" - Stede still not grasping how much he meant to Ed and how much damage his departure did

"I'm afraid your life is better without me" - and also still of the belief he will always and only be a last choice

"Ed pushed you? Why would he do that?" - the realisation that the stuff that happened to his crew was because of him

"I hurt Ed so much he pushed you off the ship" - not just realising it, but acknowledging it and recalibrating his perspective to see that not only did Ed actually genuinely care for him as much as he did for Ed, but that in leaving him behind, he's sent Ed on a downward spiral.

"I think I hurt him pretty bad" - again, acknowledging he did a wrong and determined to fix it

"I'm not ready to believe [that the time he spent with me is the best it's ever going to get for him] - the conviction that Ed can and does deserve to have some more of the happiness he craved when he just wanted "to be Edward"

his entire interrogation of the Break-up Boat crew, knowing full well that they're all lying but not able to get a clear answer

It speaks measures that he goes from thinking "Ed wouldn't want to kill me because he probably didn't even notice I was gone" to piecing together all the pieces of evidence and realising how truly shattered Ed is. It's a slow, steady realisation and in that confrontation with Izzy in the cabin, it has all crystalised into the knowledge that "he was going to watch the world burn or die trying".

He always knew what Ed was capable of, even if the crew thought he didn't or was being foolish and naive about it. "It feels pretty complicated. It feels bad", he admits when he knows how badly Ed hurt them, especially when he now believes it's all his fault.

"I let him down and I'm the cause of a lot of this", he says, so everything he does after that is in the name of trying to make things right. He does right by the crew, he negotiates with Zheng for their release, and even after he finds out they killed Ed, he still works to save them all, because he knows they don't deserve to die for saving themselves.

And then when Ed comes back, he agrees to let the crew decide Ed's fate - they voted him out (and I'm so curious about who voted how because Izzy's vote was the decider) but Stede said he would ask the crew if he could come back as well and clearly, they allowed it.

He spends so much of the rest of the season trying to undo all the damage he believed he had done, both with the crew and with Ed himself, even if he may or may not be very good at it. He tries and continues to try to make amends and I like him very much for it.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #stede bonnet

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 3 months

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Dear Diary. . .

18+ for some smut. . .

Steve thought a lot about people's sexuality since Robin came out to him on the floor of the bathroom at Starcourt. Well, he thought about it a lot more. Before, it was only a casual thought. How could two members of the same sex do that? Not in like a hateful way but more in a curious way. How could two men have sex? He usually spent time on it, thinking about it. . .too much time thinking about it, really. That should have been his first clue, but at the time, he shook those thoughts away by telling himself that he was just being overly judgemental like his dad. Now, he was thinking about it a lot more, and he couldn't quite figure it out until Eddie Munson walked into Family Video one afternoon.

"It's fucking freezing! I can't believe Keith made us come in. I swear that I'm going to do it this time," Robin said. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You keep saying it, but then it never happens," Steve chuckled.

"There's no one even here!" Robin complained.

It was the middle of December and pretty damn cold. No one would be crazy enough to escape the warmth of their homes just to get a movie. He was quickly proven wrong, though, when the door opened and Eddie Munson walked in.

"Jesus H Christ! It's freezing in here. Do you guys have the air conditioner on in the middle of winter?" Eddie asked.

"It's broken. We couldn't fix it, and we couldn't get anyone to come out," Steve said.

"And you guys didn't just say 'fuck it' and go home?" Eddie asked.

"We can't really afford to do that," Steve said.

"Really? King Steve can't afford to take one day off? The man with his own castle or so I've heard," Eddie said, and Robin scoffed at him, scowling.

"You mean, my parents' house? Yeah, no. It's their house and like they've told me since I was six: It's their house and they just allow me to live there. They made me start paying them rent the minute I didn't get into any college, and they threatened to kick me out without all my stuff if I didn't pay up on time, so no I can't really afford to say fuck it," Steve said. "And the thing about being called King Steve are the assumptions that come with it. They assume that because I was born into money that everything that comes with it is mine. That I have it easy. You know, you can have all the money in the world but you can't pay your parents to love you. I mean, I don't know. Does it make you feel good when people call you freak?"

"Jesus. . . No," Eddie said, looking properly shamed. "Look, sorry, man. I can fix your problem for free."

"Which problem? People calling me King Steve or my parents not loving me?" Steve asked.

"Well, I can't fix those problems, but I can fix your heat," Eddie smirked. "Let me go get my tools."

He left the store, leaving Steve alone with Robin.

"He's lucky he apologized and offered to fix the heat, or otherwise I would have kicked his ass," Robin muttered, and then she paused. "Your parents are home, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Steve muttered.

"You know, my dad put bunk beds in my room like I'm a kid or something. Want to have a sleepover?" Robin asked.

"Only if I get the the top. A top for a top," Steve said with a smirk.

"Ugh. You'll get bottom and like it," Robin said. "You know, my parents love you. I think you should take up their offer and -"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Eddie made his way into the store. He shook his toolbox at Steve.

"Lead the way, Harrington," Eddie grinned.

"I'll mind the store, although I think it's pointless. I don't think anyone else is crazy enough to come out in this weather," Robin said to Steve. "You mind him."

"Thanks," Eddie grinned cheerfully as he followed Steve into the back.

Wordlessly, Steve watched as he took off his jacket and got to work. The other man was wearing a tight red sweater. It was so tight that Steve could practically see his. . .wait, are those. . .are those nipple piercings? Steve swallowed. Why couldn't he look away? The movement of Eddie rolling up his sleeves tore his attention away from the man's nipples. There was a tattoo of a creature controlling a puppet on his forearm. He stared at it while he worked and wondered if there were any more tattoos on Eddie's body. Steve tilted his head to the side as he pictured taking off Eddie's sweater to look for more, his mind picturing Eddie's piercings. He could imagine them so clearly, and Steve could see his own hand reaching out to brush his thumb over the piercing. Suddenly, Eddie's underneath him, and Steve is reaching down to take it -

"All done!" Eddie's voice called out.

"What?!" Steve exclaimed.

He realized what he was feeling now. The familiar pull of arousal in his stomach is something that he immediately recognized. Mews being eaten by a demodog! Mews being eaten by a demodog! Yeah, that did it. Eddie was staring at him now with his big brown beautiful eyes, his plump lips looking ever so kissable. Shit.

"You okay, man?" Eddie asked. "Where did you go?"

"Oh, nothing, sometimes I just space out," Steve said, trying not to blush.

"Yeah. I do that, too. I fixed it!" Eddie exclaimed proudly. "Am I forgiven now?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," Steve said. "Thanks."

Eddie shrugged on his jacket and shook his toolbox at him.

"I'm going to go put Bert up now," Eddie said. "And then look for a movie."

"Bert?" Steve asked.

"My toolbox. Problem?" He asked.

"No, it's cute," Steve laughed.

Eddie looked at him for a moment as if he was trying to figure him out.

"Hm. Dustin was right. You are an interesting dude," Eddie said.

They walked out of the back together, and Steve continued to watch him as he walked out.

"It's definitely warming up," Robin said. "Thank God!"

Eddie walked back in and started browsing the aisles, Steve’s eyes never leaving him. Robin unscrewed her bottle of water and started drinking.

"Yeah, I can definitely picture myself having sex with that guy," Steve said, and Robin started choking on her water. "Jesus, Robin. Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?! Are you okay? What the hell, Steve?!"

"What?"

Later that evening, after they got off of work, Steve and Robin immediately got settled up in her room. A random radio station was playing in the background. They were laying on the floor, their feet pressed against the wall, as they stared at the stars on Robin's ceiling.

"So, let me get this straight - something which we apparently both aren't - you kept trying to picture how it worked between two men, and apparently, that made you think that you were homophobic?" Robin asked.

"Pretty much," Steve said.

"Okay, you're going to have to start telling me all of your thoughts outloud so I can tell you if you're wrong or right," Robin said. "I'll do the same thing with you."

"Like we're diaries?" Steve asked.

"Exactly like we're diaries, Steven," Robin said. ". . . Diaries who give feedback."

"What if they're dirty thoughts?" Steve asked.

"I'm a fully grown lesbian. I can handle it," Robin said. "I want every single slutty detail."

"Okay," Steve said.

"For example: Dear Diary, my platonic soulmate realized he wasn't straight today. He also came out to me. I want him to know how proud I am of him and how much I love him," Robin said. "Even if he is attracted to boys."

"Dear Diary, I came out to my platonic soulmate today after finally accepting that I can be queer. . .that I could be bisexual like Bowie. I don't think I ever could have gotten to this point without learning from her. If she hadn't trusted me, then I wouldn't have been able to put so much trust and courage into accepting myself. I'm so proud of her, and I love her so goddamn much," Steve said. "Even if she is a pain in the ass."

"Aw, Steve," Robin said tearfully and took his hand, interlacing their fingers together. "You know what my favorite thing about our friendship is?"

"What?"

"We're both bitches," Robin said and they both burst into fits of giggles.

After that, Steve wished for more interactions with Eddie, but whenever he went to pick up Dustin from Hellfire, Eddie would scowl and look away whenever Steve tried to wiggle his fingers at him. Eventually, it just became awkward, so Steve stopped trying. He didn't even look at him anymore. Steve even tried approaching him in the grocery store just to ask what his problem was, but Eddie took off and ran out of the store without buying anything. Eventually, Steve realized that Eddie clearly still saw him as King Steve and wanted nothing to do with him. So Steve stopped trying, disappointed, and rejected. Instead, he tried moving on by going on dates, and eventually, Steve pushed Eddie to the back of his mind. . .then spring break rolled around. It all went to hell, and suddenly, he was fighting to save Eddie from being convicted of murders he didn't commit while also trying to stop the earth from splitting open.

Luckily, it was all a success with some injuries. Unfortunately, Eddie still needed to be hidden from the town, and Steve's house was the best place for him. He was currently resting in Steve's guest room, bandaged heavily as he was worse off than Steve but not so bad that he needed a hospital. Steve was pacing downstairs. Now was the perfect time to talk to him. He couldn't run away this time. Steve sighed and walked up the stairs. He entered the room without thinking and without knocking. Eddie froze, his unbandaged hand down his pants. He quickly pulled it out.

"I had an itch!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Uh. I can come back," Steve said.

"No, seriously! It was an itch!" Eddie exclaimed. "I was just thinking about you."

Steve’s mood changed pretty quickly. His cheeks turned pink, and he grinned. He slid carefully onto the empty space beside Eddie. He used an elbow to avoid laying on his stomach.

"Really?" Steve asked.

"How could I not? You pulled me out of hell, man," Eddie said. "I wish I could thank you properly, but I can't even get out of bed."

"You can thank me by letting me do all the work," Steve said.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Eddie said, looking at him, confusion as he started to disappear under the covers. "What are you - Oh! Oh! I think there was a misunde - OH, fuck it! It's such a good one. JESUS H CHRIST!"

There was a popping sound from under the covers as Steve peeked out from under the blankets.

"Do you want me to stop?" Steve asked.

"No! Get back down there," Eddie said and pushed his head down. "I can't believe - I, uh, thought that I hated you and I, uh, I uh, I didn't understand why I did. Oh, fuck! It's why I ran - I shouldn't have - Steve, Steve, I think I'm going to - God!"

Steve plopped down on the empty spot beside Eddie, smirking as he licked his lips.

"I didn't think I would be so good that I'd get a name change," Steve said. "God. God Harrington."

"Cocky asshole," Eddie replied. "So, what does this mean? Is that all I'm good for, or do you want more from me?"

"I think I would like to try more with you," Steve said softly.

"Me too, and once I get better, I am so returning the favor," Eddie smirked.

"There's a lot of things we're going to do when we get better," Steve said as he leaned in close to Eddie's face.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Steve placed a soft kiss to Eddie's lips, smiling when Eddie started kissing him back. Steve pulled back.

"The first thing, though. . .I'm so making you sleep on the couch," Steve said.

"What?!" Eddie yelped. "Why?"

"Well, one, you forced the kids to choose between Lucas and Hellfire. Second, you didn't stick to the plan, and you nearly died in Dustin's arms," Steve huffed.

"But I - yeah, no, that's fair," Eddie mumbled. "I do feel bad about making them go through that. I'm going to work my ass off to make it up to them."

"I know you are," Steve said softly. "Luckily, you've got the rest of your long life to make it up to them."

"Thanks to you," Eddie said, and Steve bit his lip. "You want to tell Robin, don't you? Go ahead."

Steve went downstairs and into the kitchen. He picked up the phone, twirled the phone cord around his finger, and dialed Robin's number.

"Hello?"

"Dear Diary. . . I totally went down on this really cute guy. . .bit of an asshole. . . but he's working on it. . ."

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brostateexam · 20 days

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Have not been saying much for a while because everything is hard.

I. My BiL has had c diff three times now and after the third time the oncologist decided to take a damn the torpedoes approach because they were wasting weeks that should have been devoted to chemo because he was too sick and too weak to withstand outpatient treatment. I haven't seen him irl since December but my mom says he looks rough and if his immune system is so messed up that he keeps getting c diff idk that I really want to visit him. What if I get him sick?

All of this is background to me, though, because mostly I'm invested in my sister. She wants to divorce him. He needs to be better enough that she won't face ostracization for doing so. I am invested in him getting better enough for that to proceed for her sake.

II. Something about my relationship with my mom has been bothering me and I finally figured out what it is: everything is equally important to her. She doesn't prioritize anything. If I am having a tough time and ask for help she'll say "well I'm busy every day this week but I can come over next week in Thursday for ninety minutes" and then when she comes over I ask her what she was up to, both to make conversation and because I'm nosy, and it's like... she volunteered for a clothing drive at the synagogue. She went grocery shopping. She went to a farmer's market. Thanks for fitting me into your schedule, I guess! Glad to know I am on the same level as farm fresh tomatoes.

III. I have been having a really tough time of it for the last few months. The vacation in Mexico was... Not restful. Shane had a seizure on the plane and I spent the first two days managing logistics related to that (and navigating the extra ~$2k I spent covering his medical costs while on the trip). His back is still fucked up almost two months later and so I get to do extra housework and chores because he can't lift or bend without being in pain.

IV. Resultant to III, I had a really awful period of about a month with an online friend who started being super short and terse with me because I've been around online less. It was really clear he felt like I was ditching him to go hang out with my cool friends or something, instead of the reality of the situation: I'm cleaning litter boxes and doing yard work and changing the sheets on the bed aka #livingthedream. I told him about all the stuff that was going on but it was clear he didn't believe me or resented my absence nevertheless. This came to a head with me basically texting him an essay about why he was being a bad friend. In a turn of good news, he listened, and apologized, and we mended fences. That was nice because I just don't know how much more bad news I can take right now.

V. I've been struggling with work but really it's just. My boss. My coworkers like me. My project sponsors like me. My skip level likes me. My exec likes me. It's just him. We don't have a good relationship and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know that it is fixable. This is a problem because this is the guy I need in my corner to advance my career and I don't know that he'll do that for me. The alternative is leaving my company, which sounds attractive on paper but in practice the job market is so so bad and it's just so discouraging. The idea of a new job sounds incredible. I wish I could do that. Maybe even a career change.

VI. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen because of financial pressures. NGL, as much as I like my house (and I do -- I love its little windows, I love my pink dining nook and green bedroom, I love the mature fruit trees and pretty backyard full of wildflowers), I wish i had the cash in hand, instead. I feel trapped here, and like I'm making the most of it. That's a shit feeling to have.

VII. I've started regaining weight. Not a lot. Fifteen pounds since October. But it's scaring me. It's making me wonder if this whole surgery thing was pointless because I can't seem to stop myself from wanting to eat myself to death. So I'm trying to beat it back without resorting to "diet culture behaviors" (read: disordered eating) and that's tough.

There could be a separate post for things that are going well perhaps, but this is what's going not so well and it feels like a lot. Sometimes it feels like too much.

#*eating disorder #*cancer #*money

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neverlookatthisblog · 6 months

Text

Out of focus

Summery: Jack noticed that you were out of it so he got you a surprise to comfort you

There might be some grammar errors I’ll fix them eventually 💀

I honestly would like to know this dogs name I definitely think it’s a girl 🙃

Fluff

Lately you’ve been so out of it finding yourself spacing out it got so bad to the point where Jack started noticing this

He couldn’t help but so concerned but every time he would ask you if you were okay you would just say “yea I’m fine!” He knew that you weren’t usually he’d like to give you some space so you could have time to yourself

He couldn’t help but feel bad for you were struggling a lot not just mentally but physically

He knew if he would keep asking you

You’d probably just say the same things

Wanting to convince yourself and others around you that you were fine,you knew that it would keep getting worse

“I’ll be back later to check on you” Jack said giving you a peck on the lips

While Jack was at the studio you had some alone time you wish that you would’ve gotten up to do something but you just laid in bed all day

You sighed finally deciding to get up looking around you decided to wash the dishes since it was your turn anyways

While cleaning you heard the door open meaning Jack was home you heard lots of movement in the living room finishing up the dishes you curiously made your way to the living room

Jack hiding the puppy she did a soft bark making him shush her

“You gotta be quiet so I can surprise your new mommy” he said talking to the dog the dog just tilted its head

He heard you coming quickly closing the bedroom he grabbed all the bags pretending like he had stuff to put down

“Here let me help you” you suggested trying to help him

“Nah I got it” but Jack wouldn’t let you

“What’s all this stuff for anyways” you asked

“It’s a surprise go sit on the couch and close your eyes” he said sounding so excited making you laugh a bit

You heard Jack go to your guys room to get something he quickly came back

“Jack can you hurry up i have a show to watch” you said getting impatient

“Give me a sec just sit there for a couple more minutes” you huffed

“Now I’ve noticed lately that you’ve on another planet spacing out so I decided to pick something up a little extra” he said Jack placed the dog on your lap lightly

“Jack what the hell is that” you questioned

“You can go ahead and open your eyes now” he said standing there proudly

Moving your hands that were covering your face you look down to see a cute curly little brown dog

“Omg” said a little surprised

The dog sniffed around you getting to know you if one thing was for sure was that this dog was very calm not jumping around she made sure to make herself comfortable on your lap

“I can’t believe you got me a puppy” you said beginning to tear up a bit you had been so drained emotionally and physically Jack knew that taking his time with you

“I know it’s only temporary but I hope this makes you feel better atleast for the most part” he said you smiled

“It does thank you Jack” you said kissing him on the cheek

“You don’t have to thank me I know I’m the best boyfriend ever” he said making your smile fade

“Alright now don’t start getting cocky” you said making the both of you laugh

You spent time getting to know the dog playing with her it definitely was the perfect distraction for you right now

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts

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vilentia · 4 months

Text

An Unforeseen Reunion

Eddie Munson x reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (coming soon)

Summary: an unexpected visit leads to a joyful and emotional reunion, rekindling old connections and creating new memories.

This is part 2 of what was originally planned as a one-part story.

****

Two years had slipped by since Eddie Munson left Hawkins and you behind. Those years were filled with growth, change, and a persistent longing that neither time nor distance could diminish. Now, standing nervously outside Eddie's apartment in California, your heart was a flurry of excitement and apprehension.

The journey to see him had been a whirlwind of emotions. Every mile traveled intensified the anticipation of seeing Eddie's face, hearing his voice not through a phone but in person. The memories of your last day together in Hawkins were vivid in your mind as you raised your hand to knock on the door.

As the door opened, revealing Eddie, time seemed to stop. He was slightly different—hair trimmed, a new maturity in his eyes—but unmistakably the Eddie you remembered.

Eddie froze, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Is this actually happening?" he uttered in astonishment.

"It's really me, Eddie," you said, your voice thick with emotion.

In a heartbeat, he enveloped you in a hug, lifting you slightly off the ground. The hug was tight, filled with years of missed moments and unspoken words. "I can't believe you're here," he said, his voice muffled by your hair.

"I've missed you so much, Eddie. More than I could put into words," you confessed, holding him tightly.

He gently set you down but kept his arms around you. "I missed you every single day. I can't... I just can't believe you're actually here."

You looked up into his eyes, those familiar pools of warmth and understanding. "I wanted to see you, to be with you, even if it's only for a short time."

Eddie's hands gently framed your face. "You being here is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. How long are you staying?"

"As long as we need to catch up," you replied, a hopeful smile on your lips.

Eddie's laugh was like music to your ears. "Then let's not waste a single moment."

You stepped into his apartment, a space that felt instantly welcoming, a reflection of Eddie himself. It was filled with little bits of his life—posters of bands, a guitar in the corner, and a small, makeshift recording setup.

As Eddie gave you a tour, his voice was animated, filled with enthusiasm. "This is where the magic happens," he joked, gesturing to his guitar. "I've been working on some new stuff. I wish you could have been here to hear it as it came together."

"I would have loved that," you said, imagining the nights you could have spent listening to him play, sharing your thoughts, and just being together.

Settling on the couch, you both shared stories of the past two years. Eddie talked about his journey in California, the struggles and small triumphs of trying to make it in the music scene.

"What about you? How's life been treating you back in Hawkins?" Eddie asked, his gaze fixed on you.

"It's been okay, you know. Hawkins will always be home, but there's always been something missing since you left," you admitted, feeling a surge of honesty.

Eddie reached out, taking your hand. "I felt the same way. There were so many times I wanted to just come back. But I knew I had to try and make it here, for my music, for myself."

"I always knew you would make it. You're the most talented person I know," you said, pride evident in your voice.

He smiled, a little bashfully. "Thanks. That means a lot, coming from you. You've always been my biggest supporter."

You both fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes with a deep, unspoken understanding. As the evening deepened into night, Eddie's expression grew more serious.

"I used to imagine this all the time, you know," he said quietly. "You, here, with me. It seemed like a dream I didn't allow myself to have."

"I guess dreams do come true sometimes," you whispered, feeling a sense of contentment enveloping you.

Eddie nodded. "I've learned that dreams are nothing without someone to share them with. You being here makes everything feel complete."

You leaned against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "Let's make the most of our time together, Eddie. Let's make new memories, just like old times."

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "I'd like that. New memories with you are the best kind."

In that moment, the past and the future seemed to converge, creating a perfect present. You were together again, and though the future was uncertain, the now was all that mattered. You were with Eddie, and that was enough. It was more than enough.

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id-element0 · 2 months

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More Ramblings on the Infinite Saving Bug

Alright folks, this is, hopefully, my last post regarding the 'saving bug' and I have some news. I've been dealing with this issue for the last three weeks with two weeks of it spent in testing hell. Let me say this: It doesn't get any simpler as I look into it more and more.

Still, I've concluded that the saving-bug is a form of save corruption. Once your save is affected, my condolences, it's practically game-over. The save still can be played safely, though, as long as you don't go into Buy/Build Mode - which is practically impossible. This is the really bad news, especially for builders like myself. But there is more to it! So go ahead, if you're curious. *Long Post Warning* Scroll to this part for a possible fix! -> 'here's my desperate move'

There are many threads on the internet (e.g. 1, 2, 3) regarding the issue but none of them gives a reason or a meaningful solution. What is this bug then? From the links I provided, my understanding is that it has started around Seasons release, most likely after an update and, not surprisingly never been solved. I really wanted to believe that it's CC related but even vanilla players claim to have it; so CC is not the reason. My tests also came up with the same result so that's a bummer.

It seems to be triggered by going into Buy/Build Mode on certain lots; but my experiences also showed that it can spread to other lots. That's why I think it's a save/world corruption. But it also appears on different saves in the same Sims 3 folder. I have found a way to uncorrupt the building to be used in other worlds but the empty lot even after the building is bulldozed remains corrupt.

Meaning, you cannot build anything on that lot without triggering the bug. The so-called saving bug also affects the process of saving the lots to your library. So once you start getting it you can't even send the building into your library. There is a way to do it using Nraas Debug Enabler but it only worked for me once.

To save you the trouble, I have a list of things I've tried and now know that don't work at all against the saving bug.

Resetting everything via Nraas MC.

Resetting lot via Nraas MC.

Bulldozing the building and resetting the lot; using hammer tool to delete every visible or invisible object on the lot.

Saving lot to the bin; adding it to another world or a clean save of the same world and editing it there.

Starting a clean save of the world and build something in a lot seems to be fine at first; but saving bug returns eventually as stated in the threads I linked.

Creating a new Sims 3 folder doesn't work, either, as long as you use the same save.

So, what does work? Well, this is where the mystery lies. My conclusion is that it's a save corruption affecting the Sims 3 folder, as a whole, which doesn't make sense; and can be spread by installing corrupt buildings. I'll summarise my testing process:

I had a separate Sims 3 folder that I use to test stuff. This folder had a slightly different mods setup and any save I have in this folder could be saved successfully no matter how long I have stayed in the Buy/Build.

Then I moved the fresh save that eventually got the saving bug (mentioned in the 5th point above), into this bug-free Sims 3 folder and guess what? I could save without a problem. That made me think this is actually a CC thing. So I carried the ingredients of my Mods folder one by one and continue testing and each time I could save, like, in 2 seconds.

The world is a small world with no population and no buildings other than my test building, an empty house and the corrupt bar that started this all. And each time it saved until I finished with the building and moved everything from my Mods folder. I was really tired and confused at that moment. If it's not CC or the save folder, then what is it?

Then I entered the corrupt bar and bam! The saving bug returns. What I did after that was a desperate move. As I stated earlier, once the saving bug begins you cannot even save the building to your library. But one can click on any venue/house map tag, Door, Window, Wall, Ground > Nraas > Debug Enabler > DEBUG: Move Lot To Game Bin. The building will disappear. Then you need to switch to Edit Town Mode wait for a minute or so. The lot will appear at upper left corner of the screen (as evicted families do) from there you can save it to your library.

Unfortunately, this method only worked once for me. If it doesn't work at first try, quit the game, restart and do this first upon loading your world. This is how I moved my corrupt building to another save and initiate the saving bug there. But I also found a way to uncorrupt the said building.

And here's my desperate move: In game select the corrupt building in your library and choose pack as a Sims3pack or whatever the option is. You wouldn't miss it, it's there. I believe you can also do it with the building still in your world, so you may not even need it in your library. Game packs it successfully and tells you so, even if the lot/building is corrupt. Because this is EA and you should share your corruption.

Ahem. Quit your game. Go to your Exports folder. Move the file to some work folder, it doesn't matter where. You need to extract it. Since Sims3pack files are nothing but containers like zip files that can hold multiple package files, they are nothing special and should be avoided normally. To unpack/extract you need either s3ce or Delphy's Sims 3 Pack multi-extractor. Or any other tool that you know of except the Launcher.

After that you will open your newly extracted package file in s3pe and delete resources that normally belong to objets. Best way to be sure is to open another lot package in your library and examine the contents. But let me help you here: Delete EVERYTHING BUT 2ARY, COMP, ICON, LDES, RFES, TXTC, TXTF, UNKN. These are the lot resources. Be patient and carefully delete everything else.

Well, this was the good news! Now you can rescue your beloved building and use it in a new save. I don't know why it works, it just does. The really bad news is like I said, your world is most likely corrupt and not only the buildings in problem lots but the empty lots themselves are corrupt. You get the saving bug again when you place your cleaned-up building in the same lot in your affected save.

OK. I think I've managed to clean the empty lot itself as well. So, it's all good. I don't know if it's a fluke but I did this and my game saved without an issue after editing the problem building:

Bulldoze the building and reset the lot via MC. Go to Edit Town and change lot type to Residential>Regular (or vice versa if it's a Residential Lot). Return to Game reset lot via MC again. Save & Quit to Desktop. Not to Main Menu.

Go to The Sims 3/WorldCaches Folder and delete the cache files belonging to your world.

Start the game & load your save. Go to Edit Town and change lot type to Community>Whatever you like or whatever the lot type was before. Go back to game and reset lot via MC again. Save and Quit to Desktop.

Go to WorldCaches and delete your world's cache files again.

Start the game & load your save. Put the building that you've cleaned up as described above in this wall of text. Go into Build Mode, do something, stay there for a while. Go back to Live mode and try to save. If it works do this with every corrupt lot in combination with uncorrupting buildings method. And you're good.

Some steps may be unnecessary like constant resetting or deleting world caches but I exactly did this so take it as you like. If nothing works, your other options are:

Use Nraas Porter and move your town to a new save. Use the method above to make sure your buildings are safe from corruption. And use a newly created Sims 3 folder.

Bulldoze both the building and the empty lot. Do this to every problem lot. Then maybe you can save your game after wandering in Buy/Build Mode. But I wouldn't hold my breath for this one. Another issue with this method is that you will most likely not be able put another lot in place of the one you bulldozed. Because Sims 3.

Or make a copy of your save and enter Buy/Build Mode on every community lot one by one. Try to save once on each lot. If it saves, the lot is safe; if it doesn't lot is corrupt. Quit, load your game and do this for every lot one by one. Make a list of every corrupt building. Either bulldoze them all or never go into Build Mode on them. This way, in theory, you can play your save until another bug hits you in the face! 👍🏻 That's my plan. 👌🏼

I tried to be as clear as possible, keeping it simple, omitting some details but the issue is very complex and confusing. Also heartbreaking 💔 and rage inducing. 🤬 Well, this is it. Wish me luck and good luck to you all trying to play this cursed, borked bugfest of a game.

@pis3update

#ts3 bugs #ts3 fix #ts3 saving loop #ts3 saving bug #infinite saving #gg #tutorial

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diezmil10000 · 4 months

Text

2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!

(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)

so i've been doing this for 10 years :P

i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.

my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.

(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)

when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.

and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.

on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!

the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:

i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.

everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.

i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.

so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):

this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3

the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).

that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.

i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.

it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.

i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:

then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.

the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!

so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.

i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.

and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.

i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.

examples:

as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.

i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)

i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.

but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.

thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.

#diez's art thoughts

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kazumiwrites-fanfiction · 1 year

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A Birthday Date With Mikey

SUMMARY: How Mikey spent his birthday with you ♡ WORD COUNT: 1.4k (phew)

WARNINGS: Toman Mikey (lil 15 year old guy lol), semi-suggestive at times, lots of domestic fluff and kisses, mild angst/panicking near the end because apparently I need my angst in every single thing I write for myself.

A/N: Since it is our favorite Mikey’s birthday today (the wording in that I’m-), I thought I’d write a little something (instead of doing my summer homework lol- school starts in a little over a week, I should be doing it-). But anyways! Hope you enjoy! (Can’t believe the guy is turning 32... Lol.) A/N PART 2: This is probably chaotic and OOC but! I wanted to write a fic for Mikey. So yes <3 Also the ending is a mess but I don’t want to change it soooo- yeah. A/N PART 3: Originally posted here

Mikey let out a soft yawn, rubbing at his eyes a bit as he answered the door. “[Y/N]...?” He mumbled before he wrapped his arms around you, clinging to you happily.

“Hey, Mikey.” You smiled softly as you wrapped a gentle arm around him, rubbing his back. “Sleepy?” You laughed a little as you pulled away slightly to look at his face. “You really need to get more sleep... Maybe you should have the meetings end earlier.”

“No- A gang needs its meetings to be at night.” He huffed softly at you, dark eyes almost begging for you to understand.

You rolled your eyes a little. “Yeah, yeah, I get it, Mikey. Now, c’mon, let’s go to your room.” You were probably the one to have remembered his birthday, Mikey himself didn’t think too much of it.

You hummed softly as you held Mikey’s hand, walking to his room. Well, it was mostly full of Shinichiro’s stuff, but... It was nice. You had been friends with Mikey and knew Shinichiro that way... It was comforting to see that his memory still lived on. You then shook your head slightly to clear those thoughts. Today was for Mikey. Though, the birthday boy seemed more asleep than anything.

“Mikey, love...” You gently poked his cheek. “You need to wake up. I have some stuff planned for today; c’mon.” You sat down on the bed, dragging him down beside you. “Would a kiss wake you up?”

That got his attention. He leaned in to you, tilting his head slightly to the side. “Mhm... Lots of kisses.”

You laughed softly before leaning in, peppering gentle kisses over his face before kissing his lips. “Good enough?”

“One more.” You smiled softly before indulging him.

“Now wake up, c’mon.” You ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it slightly. “I’ll do your hair for you, too, while you try to wake up more.”

He nodded sleepily before just letting you, which you soon finished (it wasn’t the first time you fixed his hair up for him—and probably wouldn’t be the last).

“There. All done. You can change out of your clothes, can’t you?” You raised a brow as you watched him. “‘Cause we’re going somewhere today.”

“Really?” He blinked up at you, almost like a small child before he grinned playfully. “You sure you don’t wanna see me changing?”

You rolled your eyes with a soft laugh, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly. “I would, but I know that if I do that, we’ll never be able to go out. So shush and go change. I’ll wait outside.” And with that, you walked out.

Mikey quickly got himself dressed, wondering what was going on. Now that he thought about it, you had dressed yourself up a bit differently than usual... More pretty. He shrugged to himself before walking out, rubbing the last bits of sleep from his eyes. “[Y/N]-channnn- where are we going?”

You gave him a smile as you grabbed his hand, almost skipping as you walked out. “You don’t remember what today is?”

That made him pause. What was today...? But before he could think of it any more, you started running, forcing him to run after you.

He quickly caught up to you, but you just continued to sprint, soon reaching a cafe—one that you knew he liked. “Here we are,” you panted a bit, but soon caught your breath. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, was just as normal; a little run didn’t tire him out.

“Why are we here, though?” He blinked slightly at you.

“Well, if I told you everything, that would ruin the fun.” You blinked back at him before a teasing look flashed in your eyes. “And that would make things boring.” You shrugged slightly before walking inside, grabbing his hand as you did so.

You hummed softly as you ordered two parfaits, a happy smile on your face. Your boyfriend was just confused, but happy to see you happy—and that you had remembered him saying that he loved parfaits here. Last time he went, the cup had been filled completely. And also? It didn’t cost too much, either.

As you got the two parfaits, you nudged him toward a booth. “Go sit.” You followed after him as he sat down, placing the parfait in front of him before sitting down in front of him.

You watched fondly as he started eating, a content smile on your face as he let out soft exclamations of happiness. It was cute, after all.

After you both had finished eating, you brushed a finger over his nose, getting a bit of cream. “...Anyways. I just wanted to give you something, since it is your birthday, and all.” A faint smile flickered over your lips as you watched his eyes widen.

“It’s my birthday??”

“Yes, you dumb child,” you laughed softly, poking his cheek. “It’s your birthday. Do you think I would do all this without reason?”

“...Yes. You would.”

“I’m not like you, love.” You shook your head in amusement, before letting out a soft sigh. “I just, wanted to give you this.” You pulled a small box from your pocket, before giving it to him. “I dunno... I just thought we should match.”

Inside the box, there was a small silver bracelet, with both of your initials surrounded by a heart. You watched his reaction, uncertain—was this too much?

Before your thoughts could spiral down, he looked at you with a soft, almost uncertain smile. “I... I love it...” He whispered, glancing down at the bracelet again before sliding it on. He marveled at it. “Must’ve cost a lot...”

“Mhm... But, but, that doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy.” You smiled a little at him, searching his gaze; was he really happy, or trying to placate you?

“I love it. [Y/N], don’t you dare try to think otherwise.” He let out a soft huff before getting up, walking to your side and sitting next to you, giving you a small kiss.

Your eyes softened as you nodded. “Mkay...”

“Now, put yours on.” He let out a soft grumble as he waited.

“Okay, okay.” You laughed softly as you grabbed yours, putting it on your wrist. “There, happy?”

He nodded slightly before grabbing your hand, placing a gentle kiss on your bracelet before moving to the palm of your hand, licking it a tiny bit—just enough to make you squeal. A playful glint was in his eyes as you pulled your hand away.

“Mikey- Ew!” You laughed again, shaking your head. “Don’t do that-”

“We’ve done worse-”

“No we haven’t, stop trying to act like we did something.” You let out a soft huff, shaking your head a little. “And anyways, if we keep on being this loud, we’ll get kicked out.”

“Whatever.”

“Oh hush.” You rolled your eyes a little before leaning in, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Anyways. Happy birthday, Mikey.”

“Mm... Thank you.” He paused for a moment. “..Would you laugh at me if I said that I almost said ‘happy birthday to you too’ to you?”

You let out a soft snort. “Mikey, I-”

“You’re laughing-”

“No I’m not-”

“You are-”

And with that, chaos ensued and you were yelled at/almost kicked out. Though, you had a fun time, and that’s what counts, right?

BONUS:

Hina and Emma were watching over the two of you with a happy smile.

“See, I told [Y/N]-chan that they’d be okay.” Emma shook her head slightly. “Mikey’s head-over-heels in love. They could literally punch him and they’d be fine.”

Hina winced slightly as the memory of her slapping Mikey came up. “Well... I mean, he wouldn’t hurt his friends, and [Y/N]-chan is also a friend...?”

“True, true, but [Y/N]-chan is special. Like, anything is okay.” Emma let out a soft laugh. “C’mon, I got some good pictures... Let’s give them to the guys, yeah?” Her eyes glimmered mischievously.

“Emma-chan, I don’t think that that’s-”

“It’ll be fine, Hina-chan! He won’t do anything, don’t worry.” Emma smiled happily before getting up, grabbing Hina’s hand and skipping away. Thankfully, Mikey didn’t see them go... Though he definitely was confused when people started complimenting his partner that they were “really going for it” and that they “were a good partner for him.” Like- where did that come from? (Someone (probably Mitsuya, Takemichi, or Draken) eventually showed him the pictures of you two... That did not end well-)

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midnightechoes · 1 year

Text

Here on the eve before the finale of RWBY volume 9, my thoughts are drawn to Nuts and Dolts, one of my very favorite ships in RWBY.

Full disclaimer: I’ve been a fan of RWBY for about two years. A couple of friends got me into it after the v8 finale aired. So yes I had to experience the hiatus like everyone else, but I didn’t have to experience the years between Penny dying during the Fall of Beacon and her return in volume 7.

But anyway, I’m thinking a lot about these two:

This was the scene where the ship sailed for me, although I understood the appeal from Penny’s very first appearance. I was heartbroken when Penny first died, although there was a part of me that thought “I mean, she is an android. In theory you could fix her.”

And a few weeks later, there she was, in her Maya animation engine glory. And wow did Nuts and Dolts really soar. We got fed SO WELL in volumes 7 & 8.

I couldn’t believe how much time they spent together, just how often they held hands and hugged. I swear, Ruby’s never had more intimate contact with any cast member than she had with Penny. There was just something about Penny that made her feel safe and comfortable.

But we all know how volume 8 ended. Perhaps it was inevitable. And WOW, to immediately get Friend during the ending credits, a song that’s literally Penny saying that her life was worth living because she got to know Ruby.

These two really are the Romeo & Juliet ship of RWBY, aren’t they.

I really hoped that we’d get a chance to see Ruby actually deal with the loss of Penny in volume 9. AND BOY DID WE. lol totally a “careful what you wish for” situation.

It certainly was great though. It solidified that, whether you interpret Penny and Ruby as platonic or romantic, they meant the world to each other.

Nuts and Dolts shippers got so much content this volume, even if it was of the tragic variety.

I’ve been thinking about them a lot this week because, unless something miraculous happens in the finale, this is probably truly the end for that content.

Of course, us shippers will always celebrate and create content for the ship, but as far as stuff we get from the show, this is probably it. I hope Ruby has some sort of emotional resolution about Penny in the finale, and maybe she’ll mention her once in a while as someone she lost, but we’re at the end as far as in-show content.

There’s nothing wrong with this. The show’s had a story to tell, and we’re simply at the end of this branch of it. They’ve done a wonderful job, and I’m so grateful for the story they gave Ruby and Penny.

It’s just... the ending of something, the end of the canon story of this ship. That gives me a melancholy feeling.

I love Nuts and Dolts. No matter what happens in the finale, I know that these two will continue loving each other in so much fanart, AUs, canon divergent timelines, etc.

So if tomorrow truly is the end of their story in-canon, then I just have to say thank you to CRWBY for these two, and this is how I’ll choose to remember them: happy, safe, finding comfort in each other’s embrace.

Together.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby9 #rwby9 spoilers #ruby rose #penny polendina #nuts and dolts #nuts n dolts #nnd #mechanical rose

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commsroom · 1 year

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Ok this is totally fix-it fic territory, just you're the only person I've seen who also doesn't love Eiffel's ending BUT What if after getting far enough away from whatever Cutter was using to block the dear listeners' abilities, Bob gives Eiffel his memory back. They have his brain almost completely copied after all. It would also be interesting to see him struggle with "would I really do THAT?" Like he just has such a hard time believing himself capable of growth and having positive impacts

oh, i honestly don't even think it's fix-it territory! i genuinely think he will regain his memory at some point; i think it makes narrative sense.

whether it's possible, with what the show sets up? the dear listeners are only invested insofar as it might impact the process, but, like you said, they could restore eiffel's memory. maybe even without active involvement. lovelace's blood was still working on eiffel (slowly, which might even make for a stronger case) a few days before the events of the finale, and memory is clearly a consideration in the 'pattern' of duplicates. maybe the regenerative properties apply to memory, too. and pryce scanned eiffel's brain back in ep 55, with the same kind of machine that was meant to instantly relay hilbert's memories back to canaveral; it's plausible there could be a backup.

... but even if none of that were the case! wolf 359 is a character drama, and what's important is what it says about eiffel. doug eiffel, who has spent so much of his life running from himself, whose character arc is about confronting and coming to terms with all of the people he's been, and his impact on the lives of the people he cares about. wiping his memory - if it's meant to be permanent - feels like a fulfillment of that wish, and it would be kind of. at odds with the themes of the show, when in every case it takes such a stance against attempted martyrdom. but as a set up for self-reflection and self-confrontation? i think it makes perfect sense, for someone who externalizes as much as eiffel does. i don't think restoring eiffel's memory is a cop out or fix-it any more than lovelace not actually dying is - it's not a tragic sacrifice, it's a narrative catalyst for character development. or, at least, that's how it makes sense to me.

i won't get too into the rest of my reasoning, since i know it gets long and it's mostly stuff i've talked about before, but! i do actually think the finale is a good narrative choice, i just feel differently about it than a lot of people seem to. maybe because the writers talk so much about their fondness for earned happy endings - that a happy ending is most impactful when you really think there won't be one - i just can't see wolf 359 as a tragedy. the simplified version: if "am i still doug eiffel?" is unanswered, then that's a whole set of unexplored themes. but if "am i still doug eiffel?" is a question with an answer - if the rest of the show, the repeated affirmation that other characters are who they decide they are despite their respective identity crises, the thematic context, "wanna find out together?", if all of that is the answer - then that final scene is an encapsulation and reaffirmation of the show itself. in my opinion, that makes for a really good ending.

#obviously i'm leaving a bunch of stuff out since i've talked about it before and it's impossible to cover all of it every time #and i will reiterate there's a distinction between. whether he's still eiffel. which i think is a pretty clear narrative yes #and whether he should get his memory back. which i also believe for overlapping but separate reasons.#but... you know!! thank you for asking. it's such a complicated topic but i do genuinely believe this makes the most narrative sense #and re: eiffel not believing in his own ability for growth. yes! exactly. i think it's notable that when he's listening to that early log #he first asks 'am i still that same person?' which is a very different question from 'am i still doug eiffel?'#the person in that log was doug eiffel. but not the same person. even before he lost his memory.#doug eiffel #wolf 359 #w359 #asks

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bosskie · 3 months

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Mean 'n' Clean

I didn't mean to draw more today (yesterday) but I just got a vision like this and I just had to draw it... Man, it feels like all this sketching is starting to actually improve my stuff. That Molluck just looks better than all the other Mollucks I have done within a week.

But yeah, what the odd is this? Well, I kinda tried to vision RuptureFarms back then. I felt like drawing kinda twisted versions of those Scrab Cake and Paramite Pie ads. Yeah, that Scrab is 'dancing' on that cake, like they do after killing their victim. And well, Paramite is eating the Pie... I have never drawn those creatures before, so it was nice to finally draw them too.

That Abe, well, I felt like portraying him as a cleaner with some cleaning equipment and I wondered why he would have such an expression if he is cleaning... Then it came to my mind that maybe is cleaning Molluck's toilet, so that's why he got that toilet cleaner. Just some random stuff for fun, I have been just laughing at that Abe.

Also, kinda related to this cleaning thing. One day, I figured out why RuptureFarms is so clean in New 'n' Tasty compared to Abe's Oddysee: There are 200 Mudokons more! Yes, Molluck could figure out the amouth of Mudokons he needs to keep the place clean.

I also wanna add that despite of my own problems toward myself, I do appreciate you liking my stuff! And I wanna say this that I do love this community. I did get such a warm reception when I started to post my Molluck stuff and it still warms my heart, especially after many years of feeling like no one cares about the stuff I create. I do admire the stuff you do here like daily but I have had hard times to tell you it, even thru a like. It's nothing personal, my thought about that no one probably wants me to interact with them is just strong... I used to be lonely for years... But I'm trying my best with healing this scar and gather my courage to say the stuff I would like to say but I just cannot because of my mind... Sometimes, I also just feel so embarrassed of my way to speak...

I also wanna say that I don't wish that creating fan art is a competition. The more important thing is all the passion and love people put in it. Of course, great art deserves to be featured but it was kinda odd still (I think that they should had been a bit more neutral too, to create a more believable image of that they do really love all the fan art; this is what I mean. Just changing it to be 'one of the best' or being an artist feature video in general would had been enough). And especially to me in a sense of that I did won that SoulStorm tattoo design competition but OWI never posted it but some other submissions to that competition before announcing the winners. There was a Stranger fan art competition before and they did post the winners on social media. It's just odd and I think that I really should ask OWI about that, I'm still waiting for my prices from them. I'm just not sure of how to do it. It has just started to feel like maybe they didn't even really like my piece and just made me a winner because I probably spent the most time... If someone hasn't seen it or needs refreshing, here's my piece I did for that competition:

Sometimes, I have been thinking about 'remastering' this since it has some flaws I would like to fix. But yes, I really gotta try to ask OWI why did they kinda cancel this tattoo competition after announcing the winners, though they never did it on their media but on the competition website. I don't really mind if they don't post this since this ain't great but I still would like to hear their explanation for this. This was supposed to be a temporal tattoo they would have shared and I would have gotten one too. Well, I did get the main thing, the moolah price, at least! My inner Gluk is happy.

~ Lots of love to ya!

#oddworld #molluck #oddworld molluck #molluck the glukkon #oddworld slig #oddworld abe #art like a bosskie

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bellybiologist · 4 months

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Tallying up the Year

I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.

This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.

Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.

The Things That got Done™

I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.

Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:

I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.

I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!

Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.

My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.

=====

Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:

Things I Want to GET Done

Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.

Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!

Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏

Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽

======

I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).

Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V

#verzi rambles #god 2024 is a BIG year for lots of reasons

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