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eroguron0nsense · 5 months

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Garp Rant #11543

Because I'm something of a Certified Garp Hater/extremely obsessed with this man, and because Tumblr people seem to like my Garp takes and/or find them extremely pain-inducing, here's another one for funsies! Again, Garp is an incredibly written character and I massively enjoy his moral failings and human shortcomings, hence why I won't shut up about how much he sucks. So we all remember Garp crying in front of Ace during his imprisonment and awaiting his execution, lamenting the fact that his son and grandson could have maybe avoided this horrible horrible fate that awaits them at Marineford if they'd just become good marines like he'd tried to press them into. Every time he says it, he sounds more desperate, sadder, and angrier, like he's experiencing the stages of grief and going through denial, anger bargaining all at once, lashing out at his grandkids for supposedly causing him grief by defying his wishes, or maybe praying or wishing for a world where they could have followed in his footsteps and lived happily ever after. And when Ace hears that again at Impel Down, he says this:

Here's the thing though: Ace is unequivocally correct Garp should, by all rights, know this. He lived through the fallout of Roger's execution. He knew long before that exactly what would happen to Roger's loved ones and anyone the government could get their hands on who'd ever associated with him. Even before they started committing femicides/infanticides in Baterilla trying to end Roger's bloodline, he knew that the Marines were going to target completely innocent people in the name of purging the bloodline and cementing their "victory" over the greatest threat they'd ever faced. He specifically had to smuggle Rouge out of there so she could give birth to Ace, and all the while dozens of families were being brutalized by his peers and having their lives torn apart. That was the cost the Marines were willing to incur to kill a hypothetical infant, and years later, when that very same child is set to be executed, Sengoku goes on a remorseless public tirade about the necessity of killing babies and the horrible trickery and audacity Rouge displayed by dying so that they wouldn't kill her baby too.

Garp knows every single piece of this information in painful, excruciating detail. He's so horrified by it he feels the need to fulfill this wish of Roger's because he knows blameless people will die. He has Ace raised in secret to protect him from Marines who are figuratively and literally out for his blood. And yet, throughout this boy's childhood, he clings to the notion that maybe, just maybe, the people he knows regularly commit atrocities, who have carried out at least 3 genocides that we know of in Garp's lifetime, who were willing to commit mass infanticide for a woman and child they hadn't verified the existence or identity of at the time, would have accepted him within their ranks and turned a blind eye to that information when it eventually, inevitably surfaced. That Ace can find salvation from the people who stole every loved one he ever had before he was even born, who slaughtered his mother's community and pushed her to her death, and were slavering at the opportunity to kill her. That even though Ace was born in direct opposition to them, has had a target trained on him before he was born, these people who tried so goddamn hard to kill him would surely welcome his presence and not murder him the second they found out if he could just be a compliant model soldier and make himself useful. It's hammered home pretty effectively–especially in the manga– and One Piece has never been known to be subtle in its messaging, but I swear to God I see so many people echoing the notion that Garp's attempts to force his grandchildren into serving the Evil Empire was done because he knew was their only shot at safety from the WG, and I fucking despise this take. Ace saying that he could never be a marine here in Impel Down isn't some young man's rationalization for his (beyond valid) desire not to subscribe to the preset path Garp laid out for him; it's literally the only logical conclusion if you know literally anything about the circumstances of his birth and upbringing, and Garp only thinks that the leopards wouldn't eat Ace's face because he's fucking delusional This in and of itself is extremely telling of how horribly warped Garp's perception of the Navy is, and how deeply he's willing to buy into the Marines and their warped propaganda no matter how many glaring examples he sees throughout his life that counter his worldview, but let's not forget that this applies to Luffy too. This is slightly hairier, in that if Luffy was a) the sort of person who could willingly accept a career in the marines and b) managed to cling really, really tightly to his grandfather's coattails and legacy, there might have been a very, infinitesimally small chance that he could have joined the Navy. The higher ups know that Dragon is Garp's son and therefore Luffy is Dragon's by logical inference, but I could see some AU where Luffy is a fundamentally different person and manages to build himself up in the Navy if not for two things I think warrant examination. It's pretty evident, and Dragon explicitly confirms, that Luffy being known as his son would have put him in incredible danger, only feeling comfortable with acknowledging it and the possibility of actually reuniting with his child after Luffy was both publicly recognized due to factors beyond his control, and proved that he was more than capable of holding his own. But I want to draw attention to this one otherwise pretty silly little gag moment between Garp and Sengoku when they learn that Luffy's broken into Impel Down, and present a theory that's kind of a reach but also not really

Now the phrasing here kind of interests me, in that it ties back to earlier demonstrated patterns that the Navy uses repeatedly in collective punishment for the families and loved ones of their primary targets. Rouge and Ace barely escaped the mass murders intended for them because of their connection, but Tom was also originally sentenced to death for having had a connection to Roger, and ultimately chose that as the offence he wanted to be sentenced for at Enies Lobby. Law, as a child survivor of Flevance, has multiple hospitals try and turn him in to the World Government to be killed when Cora tries to find someone to treat him because their policy is to pull out the roots and salt the earth whenever they deem a person or population politically inconvenient. Robin's flashback shows us Akainu blowing up a refugee boat on the off chance that one of those people that they were planning to evacuate might have gotten past their initial screening for archaeologists/poneglyph readers. At Marineford, Akainu specifically targets Luffy not because of his prior offences or even his attempt to rescue Ace, but because he's Dragon's son and his and Roger's bloodlines need to be eradicated. This is not an institution that is in any way reluctant to destroy anyone tangentially affiliated to a designated enemy, and Luffy being the son of the worst criminal in history seems to put him right in line with all of those other cases. In light of this, and Garp's massive blind spots and wishful thinking regarding his peers and employers, it's not that much of a stretch to assume that the only reason Garp's exempt from being targeted like Dragon is because of his popularity/symbolic importance/utility, and that Luffy likely wouldn't have been safe even if he weren't a pirate. Garp's circle of confidantes/friends in high places is powerful, but clearly there are factions (Akainu, Ryokugyu etc) that would be substantially less willing and who are given preferential treatment by the Elders and Celestial Dragons. There might be something to read into based on the fact that Garp is the only known person from a D bloodline who's achieved massive success in service to the World Government and not defected from the Navy after realizing its true nature (props to Saul), and therefore he might project the fact that he's been rewarded by the system despite being a "sworn enemy of the Gods" onto his family, but that still doesn't account for the massive, delusional arrogance he displays in insisting that, despite everything–especially, especially the murders committed in pursuit of Ace, that robbed him of his birth mother and community–the Navy is the best and safest place for either of those boys. TLDR Garp not wanting his grandsons to have a bounties on their heads is one thing, but it says a lot that in spite of everything he knows, he's willing/determined to put Ace and Luffy in an environment that's extremely dangerous for them –and in Ace's case 100%, unquestionably fatal– because he's so convinced that compliance and the platonic ideals of "justice" and military service/hard work being rewarded by the system could supersede all of that.

#monkey d luffy #one piece #portgas d ace #marineford #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #nico robin #monkey d garp #monkey d dragon #sengoku the buddha #akainu sakazuki #admiral akainu #portgas d rouge #marineford arc #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #jaguar d. saul

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euseokz · 5 months

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@ eunseok — i’m so much better than him baby, let me prove it to you . . cws : none, i think . wc : 1.2k+ . genre : angst & some fluff

EX-BOYFRIEND! EUNSEOK who, even after you’ve been broken up for months, is still utterly obsessed with you.

he still thinks about you regularly, randomly texts you asking if you wanna hang out even if he knows you’ll always just tell him that the point of breaking up is that you don’t wanna be together anymore — as if he doesn’t already know that. he still hopes that you will come back to him, that you’ll ask him if he wants to give each other another chance, all his dreams getting crushed when he got word you were going out with someone else, one of his closest friends at that.

eunseok didn’t know if he was sadder because you had moved on from him so fast (you guys had been broken up for months at that point, so you definitely wouldn’t call that fast), or angrier that you had chosen sungchan of all people.

sungchan was nice, sure. eunseok obviously liked him, otherwise they wouldn’t be friends, but as your boyfriend? sungchan had to have been one of the worst choices he could think of — so, to give himself some peace of mind (and because he was butthurt and wanted to know what sungchan had that he didn’t), eunseok decided to confront you about it, showing up at your doorstep one late night, coincidentally wearing what he knew was one of your favorite shirts of his and the cologne you always used to compliment him on.

you were surprised to see him, after all, any contact he had attempted after your break-up was through text, he had never tried to actually see you again, but as soon as he opened his mouth you knew what had given him enough motivation to break the only boundary you had actually set. you still let him in, curious as to what he had to say, and that was probably your first mistake of the night, because he then went on a rant about all of sungchan’s flaws, even the ones that were completely irrelevant to you if you did become his girlfriend — something that to you still seemed so far off because you had only gone on one date, one short date that ended with you wondering why you even accepted to go on it in the first place, something that eunseok clearly didn’t know and that you didn't plan on telling him any time soon, too entertained by his desperate rambling.

eventually you did stop him, telling him that he was overreacting, that it wasn’t that serious, but then he got a look on his eyes that told you that he wasn’t joking, that to him it was that serious, the thought of you with anyone else seemingly truthfully affecting him for some reason. you assumed he would have moved on by now, that his constant pestering of your messages was something he only did as a source of entertainment since he had always enjoyed teasing you, but apparently not. eunseok still had feelings for you, and that was something you hadn’t considered, because why would he? you had broken up with him, not even giving him a full reason beyond that you wanted different things at that moment… he should hate you, so why did he still have feelings for you? when you asked him about it, eunseok himself couldn’t give you an answer, because he also didn’t know why he still felt the same way towards you after so long, why he still loved you just as much as he did months ago. sure, at first he resented you a bit, but he got over it faster than he would ever care to admit, immediately going back to loving you and wanting you back more than he had ever wanted anything else. maybe it was pathetic, but could you blame him? eunseok loved you more than he had ever loved anyone else, and to him you had always been the one, so how could he ever just forget about you? just move on as if nothing serious had ever happened between you two? that was utterly impossible, and you should have known that, he thought.

eunseok would always want you back, and when the thought that maybe he wouldn’t ever have you again crossed his mind, he had to run to you to try to prove that he was worthy of your love, that you would always be the one for him.

his confession touched you, and if you were being honest, you did miss eunseok at points, how could you not? he treated you better than anyone else ever had, made you feel things no one ever could, so why should you not still be a bit hung up on him, even if you were the one that wanted to break things up in the first place? you had never considered going back to him though, fixed on the fact that if you ever felt that you should leave him then that must have been a sign — but now, with him standing in the middle of your house, you couldn’t help but wonder if breaking things off hadn’t just been a huge mistake on your part, or maybe a step you needed to take to truly realize just how much you also loved him, because just as much as you thought that eunseok shouldn’t have feelings for you anymore, you also knew the same applied to you. you shouldn't love eunseok anymore, and you genuinely thought that you didn’t, that you were just at a point where you liked him over some fond, past memories, but that was clearly not the case, because if it was, you wouldn’t be wanting to run to his arms the second you saw him, and you wouldn’t want to kiss him as much as you wanted in that second. maybe eunseok was pathetic for still wanting you back, but then you were at the same level as him, and definitely in no position to judge.

as much embarrassment as it gave you to admit it, you told the man before you that you might also feel the same towards him, that you might still want him even if you don’t want to admit it, and to say that a look of pure glee took over eunseok’s face was probably an understatement, the realization that there was still hope for you two something that made him all too happy, way happier than he thought he would walk out of your house feeling at least. he wanted to pick you up, to envelop you in a tight embrace and promise to never let you go this time, but he held himself back, aware that wasn’t the time to do such things. so, instead, he smiled at you, that sweet smile you had unknowingly missed — that emotion, the one related to missing your ex, one you quickly realized you had been ignoring for far too long — and promised that he would do better this time, that he wouldn’t do anything that would ever even make you want to consider leaving him again, his honesty making you chuckle as you walked him towards you couch, ready to actually sit down and have a proper conversation.

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restinslices · 3 months

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I would love to request a fic of Ares x fem reader please? Maybe based of your post of being Ares favorite mortal lover and defending her or whatever idea you may have?

I think you and someone else requested this so COME GET YA’LL JUICE.

I made this sadder than it needed to be but it’s an illness at this point. Warning for a down bad Ares. Like, OOC type of down bad

Gods are typically very predictable when it comes to love.

It's usually temporary love and honestly a mortal is lucky if it lasts more than a month. They get together, have a baby then the god moves on before the baby is even born. It sounds heartless because it is, but that's just how it was when you were immortal. You got bored very quickly and chasing after mortals gave you something to do when life got too quiet.

That's what typically happens.

Sometimes though, the gods find very special mortals.

For Hermes, it was May. For Poseidon, it was Sally. For Ares, it was you.

Ares constantly watched over you and your child, even if you never knew. He couldn't be with you and he knew this, but that didn't mean he couldn't make sure you were ok and help out occasionally. Sometimes it'd be something as small as leaving you gifts to cheer you up, and sometimes it'd be something as big as delivering “bad luck” to your boss when he was being rude.

So imagine how upset he got when he watched your new partner continue to mistreat you.

Zeus made himself very clear.

Absolutely DO NOT commit any acts of violence against a particular mortal named Trent.

Ares thought about listening. Then Ares thought about the fact that he was willing to allow a war to happen between Zeus, Hades and Poseidon and he decided that since he's done a lot worse, a few felonies wouldn't be so bad in the grand scheme of things.

The arguing made Ares pause before he could knock.

He heard your voice. “In my bed Trent?! Are you serious?!”.

The male groaned in annoyance, “If you can't accept that relationships have hiccups then maybe you don't actually care for me! I'll leave you alone right now if that's what you want! It's just fuck me, right?! After all I do?!”.

“What do you do?!”.

“I told you I had demons I was fighting!”

“Is the demon monogamy?”

He huffed and he swung the door open while going on and on about the so called demons he was fighting that you wouldn't understand, and if Ares had Hades powers, he'd send him some actual demons to worry about.

His eyes landed on Ares, “who are you?”.

You came into view right behind Trent and your eyes widened.

It was strange. Ares hardly paid attention to little details when it came to someone's appearance. After a while his eyes skimmed over people, and even if a mortal managed to catch his attention, he usually forgot what they looked like before the week ended. You were different though and if this is what Poseidon and Hermes felt then he understood why it was so hard for them to let their mortals go.

He wasn't necessarily an artistic guy but he could pick out the specific shade of your eyes, even if it was the most basic eye color. He memorized the shape of your hair and its color. He memorized certain mannerisms or habits you had, no matter how small. If someone blindfolded him, he was sure he'd still be able to find you just by hearing your laughter. He'd pat the area around him as he walk towards you and once he felt your hand in his, he'd know he was home. And sure, there was a mortal out there that had the same texture on their fingertips but he didn't care about them. He cared about you and even if you thought you weren't special, he would strongly disagree. Mortals didn't stay in his mind. You did. That meant something.

But Trent didn't seem to understand how special you were. He didn't understand that you were doing him a service just by standing near him and it made him angrier than he expected.

“This is Ares”, you said. It was embarrassing for him to admit how much he loved how his name sounded on your tongue, so he never admitted it. At least not out loud.

“Like the Zodiac Aries?”. He was going to correct him and make several snarky comments but you spoke before him.

“A-R-E-S. Ares. Like the God of War. Spirit of Battle. Mars for the Romans” you explained and the smirk that formed on his face further proved how down bad he was for you. The shit was embarrassing.

“I'm the father of her child” Ares added and Trent did not look pleased. He looked back and forth between the two of you and scoffed.

“You've been cheating on me, haven't you?”. He didn't even give you a chance to respond. “You're on my ass about what I did but you've already been whoring around. Just like I fucking thought”

“My kid is eight” you said simply. Ares hated that although you kept stepping back, he kept moving towards you. His shoulders were tall and proud, like he was trying to intimidate you into admitting something that wasn't true.

“I bet you're still sleeping with him or any other man that looks at you! I should've known better than to dedicate myself to a single mother. You're all just cheap sl-” his sentence was stopped abruptly when Ares grabbed onto his shoulder. At first Ares didn't realize how hard he was squeezing his shoulder, but once he noticed the sounds coming out of his mouth and saw his pathetic attempts to pry his hand off of him, Ares squeezed harder.

“She missed a very crucial part” his hand squeezed harder still and he pushed down, making the man hit his knees on the ground hard. “Ares, God of War. Spirit of Battle. Protector of Mistreated Women”, he glanced at you then looked back down at the man clenching his shoulder under him. “Have you been mistreating this woman?”.

Trent looked at you but all that did was fuel Ares’ with more rage. The nerve to treat you so cruelly for months then look to you for help. He yanked his shoulder towards him, earning a shout from him. “Don't look at her. Look at me”.

You placed your hand over his, “let him go”. You spoke softly as if you cared for this speck of dirt that probably wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire. Why? Why do this for him when there are millions of other men out there you could be with? Men that would treat you 100x better than Trent had. Men that would shower you with the praises you deserve and stand by you loyally and ask about your day and do whatever other bullshit mortals do that Ares would do with you if he weren't a god.

Trent had you but he didn't deserve you. Area didn't have you but he deserved you. The idea of Ares deserving something instead of just being given it was strange and foreign and even though gods couldn't get headaches, this is the closest he's felt to it.

“Let him go” you repeated slowly.

“I should get somewhere high before I do”.

“Hilarious” you said, although he wasn't joking. “You're gonna hurt him”. That was the plan. “I'm being serious, Ares. Let him go”.

“And then?”

“Then you leave”. But he stays? You were willing to let this man get away with all he's done within your months of dating and shoo the father of your child away?

“I should kill him anyway. He knows too much”.

He was right. Mortals that didn't have demigods weren't supposed to know about the gods existence, so technically killing him wouldn't be completely out of left field. Technically he somewhat had the right to. That's what his deluded mind was telling him anyway. And even if the man on his knees didn't know what he did now, he still deserved a form of punishment.

Your minds seemed to be linked, because you shook your head at him, like you were telling him “no. Don't do that”. You crouched down in front of Trent who was still desperately trying to free his shoulder. “You want him to let go don't you?”

“Well obviously!”. Ares didn't like the attitude and he was going to push down hard enough to dislocate his shoulder, but you put your hand back on top of his and shook your head again.

“He will. First you have to swear to something. Make an oath. Swear that you'll never come back here. Swear that you'll never talk to me again and you'll never mistreat another woman again. Swear on the River Styx. If you break this oath, something terrible will happen. Won't it Ares?”. You looked up at him, expecting an answer. Ares didn't know the answer though. He knew what happened to gods and demigods but regular average civilians? He assumed it was something bad, but he didn't know how bad. Since he didn't have a solid answer, he just voiced what he wanted to do.

“If you break your oath, I'll find you. I'll tear your legs off so you can't run, then your arms so you can't crawl away. I'll give you medical attention so you don't die and I'll make your pathetic form into a punching bag for when I get bored and trust me, I get bored often”. Ares couldn't see how he looked but he knew he looked scary enough by the way the guy shuddered and looked away from him. He even started to cry, which Ares found ridiculous. He wasn't crying earlier. He was on top of the world thinking punishment wouldn't come and even now he wouldn't truly be punished.

The guy repeated everything you said in between disgusting sobs. He swore on the River Styx and Ares was sure he didn't even know what that truly meant. He just wanted to be let go. Ares didn't want to let go but after some more coaxing from you, he let go reluctantly. Trent ran out the house, still sobbing and holding onto his shoulder.

“Thanks for that” you said when you rose back to your feet, but it didn't sound like an actual thank you. You sounded annoyed. “He'll squeal but no one will believe him about being attacked by a god. He'll drive himself crazy or get himself sent somewhere. He'll always check for you behind him. Is that enough punishment for you?”. Ares wanted some sort of physical punishment right then and there, but he'd either deal with him when you weren't looking or decide this will do. Depended on his mood later on.

“Why'd you do that? Now he won't come back!”

“You made him swear never to come back”, but you didn't seem to like him pointing out that fact. You rolled your eyes,

“Yeah, because I knew you'd break him next time you saw him”. Good point, but why did you still want him around?

“You deserve better”

“And what's better? Someone like you? Someone who pops in from time to time? Someone our child hardly knows? If that's what I deserve, well… I guess I must not deserve much. Maybe I did something wrong in a past life”. Your words cut deep. They cut deep because you had a point. Ares put you in a terrible situation. A lonely one. He made you a single mother and although he didn't talk to mortals often, he was still able to pick up on how mortals felt about single mothers. The unnecessary shame that came with having a child but with no father, even if it wasn't their fault. A large chunk of the mistreated women he protected were single mothers themselves. There was an unnecessary amount of shame thrown onto their shoulders. They could've left a terribly abusive relationship, but all of it was still their fault. They were questioned why they couldn't just stick it out, because surely a child with no father was worse than a child with an abusive father who could “get better” if they just “stopped making problems”. He hated it. Now it was hitting him that he helped place this shame on your shoulders. He never said anything but he still decided to have a child with you even though he knew he'd never be able to stay. He wanted to say he made a mistake, but could it really be a mistake if it all meant he had you in his life even if it was only for fleeting moments?

“You don't need him” he got out finally but you had a counter.

“I need someone. I need someone here. I-I… listen I know Trent can be a handful but it's better to have a handful than nothing at all. You have no idea how lonely it gets and even with him it's still lonely because I can't talk to him about any of this stuff. Do you know how exhausting it is moving a child from school to school? Some schools won't even take her! Says she has disciplinary issues and I should do home schooling but how is that possible if I have to work so we don't end up on the streets?!” your voice got louder and if this was anyone else he'd make them apologize for raising their voice at a god. He didn't interrupt you though. Each word was like twisting a knife inside him and he figured that you should be able to decide when to pull it out.

“Other moms don't want their children anywhere near ours. They think she'll be a bad influence. Some of them aren't bold enough to say it, but I can tell what they're thinking! They treat her like some terrible disease their children will catch and I can't explain why she is the way she is! I can't say 'oh well her dad is a god and the monsters she draws are things she's seeing on the street and you can't see it but honestly she's in more danger than you’. I have to say 'they're just pictures. She's just creative!’ ” You began pacing and rubbing your hands together. “I'm alone and sometimes I don't wanna be alone. Having another adult here keeps the walls from closing in. Ugh. What type of mother am I? I can't explain any of this to my child and I can tell how alone she feels too. I think… I think I'm her only friend. She hears what people say about her. She thinks something is wrong with her. She thinks she's a burden. What eight year old thinks like this?”, You sat on the couch and put your head in your hands. “I'm a failure…”.

“Sad” wasn't the word Ares would use to describe how he felt. Maybe not even “sorrowful”. There had to be a better word to explain how he ached watching you fall apart. Ares wasn't good at personal talks, but he sat beside you and spoke

“You are not a failure”. It was simple, but he hoped it worked anyway.

You looked over at him with an expression he knew would be imprinted into his mind for eternity. “Then what am I?”.

He could go on and on about what you were and how much you meant, but he knew he didn't have much time. Zeus probably already knew he was here. He was nosey like that and he'd do anything to make sure everyone followed his lead. He wished he could tear him apart but Ares knew better than to voice any of the malicious thoughts he had or to try and harm him. Maybe a time would come, but it wasn't now.

“You're doing your best with the heavy burden I put on you”

“She's not a burden” you said quickly. “I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Everything I do seems like the wrong choice”. Ares wanted to approach a topic you seemed to despise but either he was predictable or that mind link was a real thing because next you said “No”.

“That camp-”

“Your family will mold her into what they want her to be and respectfully your family… uhh…” he got it. The gods didn't take kindly to insults and he wouldn't be surprised if you finished your sentence and then was magically turned into a pig.

“She needs to be a warrior. Camp will attempt to make her a warrior”. You didn't seem pleased.

He hated your stubbornness. He didn't watch other demigods as much, but even he knew their mortal mother's tended to die because of their own stubbornness. They'd refuse to send them to camp and when their child realized who they were and the monsters came running… well… there was a good chance everyday struggles wouldn't be a problem anymore.

“She'll realize at some point and you can't protect her”.

“I know” you admitted. The defeat was all over your face and in the heavy breath you took. You laid your head on his arm and intertwined your fingers together. “She's gone for tonight. She's staying with my mother down the street. She's the only one that takes her in sometimes. Can you stay over tonight?”.

“What are you suggesting?”

“You're the furthest thing from funny. I'm not having one of your kids again, are you insane?”. Although you said he wasn't funny, and he wasn't joking in the slightest, you both managed to laugh.

“Seriously, can you stay?”. The sky was clear and sunny but thunder rumbled.

If Ares was granted three wishes from a genie, he'd use all of them to watch Zeus die a horrible miserable death over and over again. What harm would one night do?

Well… a demigod could come out of one night but if Zeus didn't like it, he didn't have to watch.

He knew that argument wouldn't work and he didn't have to speak for you to know the answer. You scooted away from him and you took a sudden interest in the floor.

“I would if I could-”

“I know. I understand”. Another thing he hated about you. You were too understanding. He wanted you to scream at him. He wanted you to scream about how much you hated him and how he ruined you. He wanted you to swear at him and tell him to never step foot near you again. Anything that would make separating easier.

“Ares” you spoke, breaking the silence that filled the room. “If I agree to having her sent to camp, will you watch over her? Can you send one of those- what were they again? Oh! Satyrs. Can you send one of those and make sure they both get to camp safely?”

He didn't have to think. “Yes”.

“And claim her. Maybe not too soon though. I remember when I went to camp people got jealous when their parents would send them letters. I know my camp wasn't a god camp but you know what I mean. I just don't want her to catch unwanted attention”.

“Of course”

“Oh and one more thing. I know I'm asking for a lot but can you give me to the end of the school year. I don't know if she'll want to come back home or if it'll even be safe and-”

“You want time”. You didn't respond but he knew the answer. He knew how hard letting go would be for you and the thought that meeting you was a mistake crossed his mind again. You deserved to have a regular family and a regular husband that you had regular conversations with. Not this.

Thunder rumbled again.

“You have to go” you didn't sound like you wanted him to leave and he didn't want to leave either but he knew he had no choice. He stood up,

“I'll see you again. I promise”

“You've made enough promises, you don't have to do that. You can…” the words seemed like they burned to get out, “you can move on”.

He wanted to argue and say that he'd never truly move on from you. That you were the most memorable mortal he'd been with and he had no plans on leaving you be, but then he realized how selfish that was. Damming you to a life of sitting and waiting until he had time to see you. The thought of you sitting home alone waiting for any sign of him, signs that he wouldn't be able to give as often as you needed made him feel an immense amount of guilt.

“You make me an oath” he started, “I don't know what happens when mortals break an oath they make on the River Styx, so swear on anything that's important to you that you'll find a guy who deserves and appreciates you. Not another guy like before. Not some guy to fill in the empty space in here. I mean a man who will treat you right until you become just a memory”. Knowing he'd never be that man filled him with a burning sensation he couldn't quite explain. Some people would say “I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy” but Ares wasn't like that. He'd only wish this on his worst enemies. Not someone he got into an argument with, or someone he didn't like. Only the enemies that made him spit when he heard their name.

“I swear on our daughter” was all you said and it was all he needed to hear. He didn't give you a kiss or hug you goodbye. It'd make it too hard to leave. He just left. He closed the door behind him like nothing had happened and left you behind.

There was a small part of him that selfishly wanted you to break that oath because that'd mean he'd get to see you again, even if it was only to commit violence. The bigger part of him knew that was selfish. You needed to keep true to that oath, even if it would destroy him to watch you call someone else the love of your life eventually.

This could’ve been a heeheehaha jokey thing but I’m an asshole so here we are. I hope it’s clear that I write requests in the order I get them btw. This isn’t towards the anon, I’m just saying to everyone if a request is taking a hot minute I’m either ill, busy, or working on one that came before yours. I also try to do one requests a day to keep things spread out. Posting all the requests on one day will upset me and my homegirls.

#ares pjo #pjo ares #pjo angst #ares percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo oneshot #pjo gods #if you see a typo no you don’t

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strwberri-milk · 6 months

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I was recently reminded again of how much Diluc has hurt Kaeya and not apologized for it and that pissed me off, so I would like to request something along those lines please.

Like, Kaeya's S/O learned what happened during the ragros's fallout and they are PISSED at Diluc for it? Like, they do acknowledge that Kaeya did a not-good in revealing his origins at literally the worst possible time, but what Diluc did was way worse?! And they so badly want to punch him for it?!?! You don't have to write them punching Diluc, honestly you can take this premise in whatever direction you wish, though I do hope for not so much angst and more reverse-comfort for Kaeya.

I just want to read about someone who loves Kaeya and who is pissed at all he's gone through, especially because he has every right to be angry about it and to want an apology but he never seems to advocate for himself, and that just makes me even sadder for him and even angrier at those who hurt him and I just want to hug him and prevent the world from hurting him again AAAAAH!!!

Sorry, I hope this request is of some interest to you, no pressure if it's not, also sorry if it's too detailed ^^;

When Kaeya told you the truth about himself you did your best to remove yourself from the situation and look at it objectively. He looked so nervous and worried that you couldn't help but pity him, telling him that you're not upset or thinking about leaving him, you just need time to process.

As soon as you're done Kaeya makes some passing comment about being glad he didn't lose you the way he did Diluc. It makes you pause as you ask him to clarify. You hear him immediately covering up for Diluc and telling you that he didn't do anything wrong. Somewhere, you understand that Kaeya's defending him because he still cares for Diluc a lot but you just wish that Diluc responded a little bit better.

You decide to ignore your anger at Dilucin favour for taking care of Kaeya. He looks almost defeated, unsure what you're thinking of saying to him. You sit with Kaeya and tell him that while you can understand why Diluc did what he did, he didn't need to hurt Kaeya. He tries to contest your statement but you simply shake your head, trying to wrap your mind around just how much Kaeya has been through.

The two of you end up spending the rest of the night with each other. You hold Kaeya in your chest, reassuring him that he's done nothing wrong and that he's carrying an impossible burden. He feels his burden lessening at your kind words, reassured that you don't hate him for something he can't help.

He doesn't tell you everything all at once. It's far too much and he tells you as much, wanting you not to feel as though he's purposefully trying to hide something from you. However, he does tell you that he wants to tell you everything and that he's done hiding his past from you. You feel grateful that he's willing to open up to you so much, telling him it's okay for him to take his time and that you're more than willing to wait patiently for him to tell you at his own pace.

You also try to help him talk to Diluc again. You know how much their strained relationship hurts him and you know they both would be much happier if they just communicated about what happened. It takes some time but Kaeya's happy with any progress being made, Diluc's slight aversion leaps ahead of outright hostility Kaeya has resigned himself to.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader

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cookinguptales · 9 months

Text

I really loved that scene between Howard and KT in this last episode of Only Murders. The two of them hyping each other up when no one else would, bringing out the best in each other, finally believing again in the dreams that had been squashed out of them...

Like -- the idea of the two of them entertaining a literal theater ghost while also entertaining the ghosts of what they might have been. What they wanted more than anything to be. I think that last scene with the curtains implies that the ghost very much is real, but the metaphorical ghosts feel so much more important in that scene. The ghosts of dreams and the ghost of talent never nurtured and the ghosts of the lives they felt they should have been living.

It's something so common in show biz, a person who has talent but just never quite seems to make it. But it's common in every other part of life, too, isn't it? The things that you want so badly but that you never get to do because you aren't given a chance, because the people around you never support you, because you just don't get lucky.

And you just get smaller and sadder and angrier. It hurts to shrink yourself to make room for the aspirations of those around you. It hurts to start to believe that they're right. That dreams aren't made for the likes of you.

But then you see what it's like when someone believes in you and you just mesh! And you get a chance to see exactly what you could always have been if you'd just had that opportunity.

It was really lovely to see. ;;

And like... I think they brought the idea of a ghost light into the metaphor really beautifully. Ghost lights are really for safety, y'know? A light has to be on onstage at all times. But there's also this air of superstition to them, that they appease theater ghosts and scare off bad luck.

To have the ghost light go out when they arrive, and to have it blink itself on again when both Howard and KT were finding themselves on that stage... Yes, it was probably indicating the presence of Gideon, but on a metaphorical level, it was also that light inside the two of them, long since extinguished, blinking back into life. The passion of creation, the fire of your dreams beneath your breast. It's inspiration and collaboration and hope and hope and hope.

What is a stage without light, and what are we without a light inside us? We have to keep it burning, and it's important to light it for others as well. It's safety and it's protection and boy, does it appease the ghosts.

😭

#omitb #only murders in the building #omitb spoilers #long post

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meidui · 10 months

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So I'm actually very glad you came back, among many others I'm sure :D Esepecially because I recently saw a post by Sineala stating the difference between 616 vs MCU Steve and Tony, and she said people should ask someone else if they wanted to know about the MCU. So, I really wanted to ask you from your perspective what you think the difference is, because you seem to like MCU the most! This is the post.

sineala(.)tumblr(.)com/post/172540509139/whats-the-difference-between-tony-and-steve-from

Thank you and welcome back :DDD

oohh i know that post and i love that post 🤗 i learn so much about 616 from sineala, her fic and meta are more sacred to me than comic canon i'm so serious about that

i feel like i read the comics very chaotically and so most of my limited firsthand knowledge is very.. incidental. but if you're looking for someone who has spent too much of her time obsessing about every stevetony related detail in the mcu i am your girl <3

mcu steve makes me go *heart eyes* because even though he's very fighty and very stubborn (the core steve rogers traits across the multiverse), i think as a generalisation mcu steve is sadder and 616 steve tends to be angrier?? in my opinion he's gentler, quieter, more reserved and measured and forgiving than his 616 counterpart and that's one of the reasons he's so attractive to me because i think he's actually so soft!!

also- mcu steve did the best with the hand he was dealt but he did not at all have the support system that 616 steve when he came out of the ice :'( in the comics the avengers are the ones who find steve, but in the movies it's a group of shield agents who get a call from an oil team. the first thing that happens to mcu steve when he wakes up is that he gets lied to (shield puts him in that fake hospital room and tries to convince him it's still the 1940s to ""ease him in""), and then between waking up in 2011 and meeting the avengers in 2012, he's completely alone. there's an amazing deleted scene from a1 that shows steve wandering around new york by himself and his loneliness is palpable

i think this also relates to their ideas of home in the 21st century. 616 steve seems very sure about the fact that tony gave him a home, his home is with tony and the avengers, but mcu steve spends a long time searching for a place to call home. even in catws, when he's been in the 21st century for 3 years, he still has books stacked on the floor of his apartment and paintings he hasn't hung up yet. a year later in aou, sam asks if he's found a place in brooklyn yet, and steve says he doesn't think he could afford a place in brooklyn, and sam says "home is home" and steve sort of just stops smiling and goes quiet and looks away. the only place he calls home in the movies is avengers compound, once in aou when tony asks if he's alright and steve says "i'm home" and once in infinity war when sam asks where they're going and steve says "home" (referring again to the compound). and when the compound gets blown to bits in endgame, even that's gone

on the other hand mcu tony seems more well adjusted than 616 tony and that felt like a deliberate choice based on the scenes that didn't make it into the movie. for example ,there's a deleted scene from im1 where pepper finds tony on the floor the morning after a party, drinking in his iron man suit and he's bleeding and there's a wisp of smoke coming from his armour and he is clearly not doing well, and an alternative opening scene for im2 that they didn't use where tony is vomiting and altogether freaking out a little bit before the stark expo

tony's alcoholism and sobriety is an important part of his 616 character, and there's the birthday party scene in im2 where tony gets drunk to cope with the fact that he's dying, but other than that and mysterio casually calling tony a "boozy man-child" in spiderman ffh, it's not really part of his mcu character

there's also the childhood trauma he has from howard, 616 howard was horribly abusive!!!!! a lot of people dislike mcu howard for not showing tony affection growing up etc, but the mcu portrays that father-son relationship in a more complicated light so you do see people split over tony forgiving him in the end. for example tony invents the new element in im2 with the help of howard's old tapes and notes and goes "dead for almost 20 years and still taking me to school," tony tells steve "my father made that shield" "he made it for you," and there's the full on reconciliation scene tony has with howard in endgame (also we get to see young howard stark in catfa and agent carter and he is honestly so likeable there, which still confuses me to this day but anyway)

and in the comics tony sees himself as more separate from iron man, hence the secret identity, and it feels like he sees iron man as his repentance and as having only his good qualities, someone he wishes he could be? but they tossed that right out at the end of im1 when tony literally says "i am iron man," which was a very clear rejection of the identity-crisis component of his 616 character, and they drive it home again when it's his last line in endgame. i think mcu tony sees iron man as an almost inextricable part of himself which i really love about him, and it makes sense because 616 tony hates himself so much more than mcu tony does ;_;

in terms of steve and tony's relationship, they have such a long history of friendship in the comics which makes the civil war arc hurt more but i feel like they always have that friendship as a bedrock to keep building and rebuilding their relationship on, whereas in the mcu they get off on the wrong foot and tiptoe around a very fragile relationship/disproportionately deep feelings for a few years but don't trust each other enough for a long time and that's the reason their civil war happens, and it's only at the end of their canon that they resolve it and really come together

there's also the romantic relationships- they both have several significant love interests in the comics but just one true love in the movies, it's always been peggy for steve and pepper for tony, but i think that's more due to the nature of the mcu being one movie canon and 616 spanning so many more years and going through so many more writers

now i'm just rambling but they shifted a lot of the characters around in steve's life as well, like the role sharon plays in the comics is diluted in the movies and peggy and natasha are the two most important women in his life instead because they're the ones who give him that support and guidance. also mcu stevebucky doesn't really exist in the same way in the comics because they didn't grow up childhood friends with bucky being protective over steve, they met in the military and bucky is a few years younger than steve in the comics, so steve was a mentor to him

#anon #asked #stevetony #stony #st♡ny

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madame-wilsonn · 1 year

Text

Midnights: Chapter 6

MASTERLIST — MIDNIGHTS MASTERLIST

Summary: The Shelbys decided it was finally time for Tommy to take a vacation, to “put his feet up” but maybe a vacation was the last thing he needed...

A/N: hello!! so here’s chapter 6, it’s only getting sadder and sadder, I'm sorry but Tommy isn’t a very happy character...Anyway I really hope you like this series so far. I’m very thankful for the feedback I received but not a lot of people seemed to have read it? I don’t know but yeah, I was just wondering if you enjoyed the story or not. I’ll stop rambling now and let you read the new chapter! <3

Warnings: mentions of death, alcohol, depression; just very angsty and sad stuff in general

Word count: 1,412 words

Rich men spent their free time golfing and fishing. They said it was relaxing, got their minds off of work. But all Tommy could think about was the war and the mud and he never felt as anguished as he did on that golf course. The same dread, the same nausea, always lurking behind him when he was there. While men played, he sat, staring blankly at his hands, the sound of bombs and scared horses echoing in the back of his head.

He lost track of the times he jumped to the ground, hand over his head, protecting himself from imaginary bombs. The slightest noise frightened him, like a little boy who was scared of thunder. It’s just the music hall band turning up.

“War’s over. No one wants to kill us. To peace”, that’s what Arthur said. But Tommy didn’t believe him then. He couldn’t believe him now. He didn’t feel any peace. The storm inside him was raging, stronger and fiercer than ever. Like the mention of a vacation had only made it angrier.

It kept him awake at night, torturing him with memories and images of Grace, of John, of France. He couldn’t sleep. The opium didn’t work as well as it used to. Instead, he drank. Every time the voices came to bother him, he served himself one drink, then another and another until the burn in his throat scalded the demons in his head. The gin was too sweet, May was right. It didn’t keep him from drinking.

There was no limit between the day and the night, only an endless cycle of agony. He was back on the front but this time, there would be no armistice, no peace to dig him out of the mud.

Tommy was afraid he’d start hearing the shovels again. Even in the majestic fortress that was Arrow House, even with all the richness in the world, they could still come and get him. So he stayed awake. He stayed awake and he drank whole bottles, hoping salvation would be at the bottom. Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness, that’s what the bottle said. What his dad always told him.

But the gin didn’t work because Tommy wasn’t sad. He was worn out, he was exhausted, his head and his back and every fucking muscle in his body hurt. But he wasn’t sad.

He poured himself another clear glass. It looked like water. The only water that could make the bombs and the pain and all the mud go away. Tommy drank until he couldn’t see straight and managed to drag himself up the stairs. The maids stayed out of his way, they were all in bed. Everyone in the house knew not to lurk around too long, to not jump at the sudden noises that echoed through the halls, to not pay attention.

He stumbled in the master bedroom, swearing as he tried to take off his vest. There was no light, only the moon filtering through the long curtains. Grace chose them. Just like she chose the paint on the walls and everything else in that house. Even the fucking knobs on the door reminded him of her.

The other day, Polly told him he was having a girl. Lizzie wanted to see him. She kept calling, sending letters. But he didn’t want to get near her. That baby had to stay as far from him as possible, for her own good. Charlie was already suffering enough, he didn’t have a choice. Tommy was all he had. That baby could stay with her mum. She would be okay as long as he wasn’t there.

He remembered the curse Esme laid on him, back in the morgue. Only women could lay curses, whoever encountered their wrath was doomed. Tommy wouldn’t risk it with his unborn child. That baby…that baby had to stay away. Lizzie would raise her, he would send money and make sure they had what they needed. No good could come out of him. Everywhere he went, death seemed to follow. Lizzie already had a hard life. He would only wreck whatever good she managed to have.

Tommy fell on the green ottoman, bottle still in his hand. He was so cold. Cold from inside, like his bones were made out of ice. He took a sip of gin but the burn wasn’t there anymore. God, he was tired. His eyes felt heavy, he should close them for a moment. Have a rest. No, no, he couldn’t sleep.

Tommy sat up, gasping. He couldn’t fall asleep, he didn’t want to hear the shovels. No, he needed a cigarette. He rummaged through his pockets but the fucking lighter wasn’t there. Tommy got up abruptly, it was there somewhere, he knew it. Yes, the vest, in his vest it was.

He sat on the edge of the bed, inhaling the sweet tobacco. Another sip of gin. His head was throbbing, he stared at his hands like he’d never seen them before. He was miserable. What would Grace even say?

She died to protect him. She saved his fucking pathetic life for him to be a drunkard. She sacrificed herself and for what? But Tommy didn’t have an answer. She died for nothing. She died for ambition and futility. Just like John. They died because of him. Because of nothing. How could he still be walking and breathing when they weren’t?

Just take me, now. Take me and bring them back.

“You can do that, eh?” he exclaimed, staring at the moon. But the moon observed him quietly, her disdain spreading in the room. Tommy walked up closer to the window, the precious gin always close to him.

“You can take me and bring them back. They’re worth it and ‘m not. ‘m not, you hear me?”

The moon kept silent, Tommy opted for the gin. The gin had the answer. The gin knew what he didn’t.

He clutched the bottle, turning around to show the moon. Show her that he had his gin and he didn’t need her. But Tommy lost his balance, drunk and dizzy. A loud clatter resonated through the room as he desperately tried to steady himself.

The bottle broke, gin spilling all over the floor, all over him. He saw the blood on his forearms, noticing the shards of glass and among them, quartz and gold. Fuck.

Tommy scurried to pick up the lipstick holder. No, no, please don’t be broken. He tried to open it but the music came out broken and sad. The little ballerina was dying, she couldn’t twirl anymore. Tommy killed her.

“Fuck!” he screamed, hitting the varnished floor. Glass pierced his skin but he didn’t care. It was Grace’s favorite. She adored that lipstick holder. She adored the light melody. And Tommy broke it.

He wanted to scream, to destroy the rest of the bedroom because nothing else mattered. Nothing meant anything to him. But he heard the door open.

Charlie’s curious head slipped inside, observing the scene. Tommy instinctively hid his bloody arms from his son, and called out his name.

He felt like his father— drunk and yelling, scaring him and his siblings in the middle of the night. He had sworn he would never become like him, that he would be better. And there he was, drunk and yelling, Charlie witnessing the miserable state he put himself in.

Like father, like son.

A maid quickly rushed to tear the boy away from the troubling sight, closing the door behind her. Tommy tried to get up from the floor, go to his son and apologize. Tell him he was sorry for being such a mess, for not being what he needs. But he was too drunk, too weak. He managed to grab the edge of the vanity behind him, his arms burning.

Tommy realized how pathetic he had become. Long gone, the ambitious man who wanted to reach the top. All that was left were broken pieces, unmended, scattered all around, threatening to cut anyone who got too close.

Tommy hugged his arms, the pain suddenly too much to bear. His tears mixed with the gin on his face and it took him every bit of strength left to not fall in the shards of glass. Everything ached. A wave of despair washed over him and the tide threatened to knock him down. There was no rest, there was no peace.

Not for him, at least.

Taglist: @aaskoct @cillmequick @dandelionprints @edmundo-diaz @forgottenpeakywriter @huntingingoodwill @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @jokim @julkaamazing @lili12356 @look-at-the-soul @lyarr24 @midnightmagpiemama @milkshakelol @notyour-valentine @rangerelik @salvatoremeanssavior @thesoldiersminute @emotionalcadaver @zablife @shelbydelrey @peakypolly

#midnights #anna's fics #ma ptite bombasse 🥰#tommy <3 #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders

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jiracheer · 2 years

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Hi! For the prompt list, can I get an Emmet x reader with number 55, if that's OK by you?

authors note: it’s more than okay sweet pea!! I went down a much sadder route for this one 😭 so sorry about that! If you’re wanting smth fluffier, you’re welcome to let me know!! <3

prompt: “What happened to you?”

tags: angst. mention of wanting to throw up (but it doesn’t happen), and oh god the angst help. this content may be triggering to those who are sensitive to arguments that escalate, so viewer discretion is advised!

It was supposed to be a nice night.

Supposed to.

One second you’re greeting Emmet with a loving kiss and equally loving embrace, the next you’re both at each other's throats arguing like there’s no tomorrow.

Hands are flying around as you both explain your sides and there’s even a point in time where you jab a finger into his sternum, getting in his face as a red hue covers both your faces. Both parties are getting angrier by the second, but it seems as if the Subway Master is exceeding his partner's rage when he grabs them by the shoulders.

“You expect me to just move on? To forget about him? For what? Our future?” He held onto that smile he always had on his face, but this time, it wasn’t as cheerful or delightful. It was downright terrifying. “You have got to be kidding me, Y/N! The Subway is nothing without him, I am nothing without him-”

“I am not asking you to forget him, I’m simply saying that you need to get help, Emmet. This has gone too far! You’re not sleeping, you’re not even eating anything I’m dropping off for you, and you won’t even let me stay to help you.” His hold on your shoulders tighten and you can’t help but flinch, wiggling around before grasping his wrist. “I don’t want you to forget about him for me. Please. E-Emmet… You’re hurting me, let go-”

With another squeeze and shove at his chest, he lets go of you and you stagger back. Rubbing at your sore arms you take in a deep breath, meeting his eyes again you can’t help but get nervous. The look he has on his face… It isn’t something you’ve seen before. It makes you want to run out of the apartment. But you don’t. You stay for his sake.

And possibly your own.

“Emmet…” You began carefully, “I love you. So much. I really really do, and seeing you like this breaks my heart! I want you to get the support you need, and for you to finally be able to rest because it’s scary. This is scary-” You reach for his hand but hiss when he slaps it away, the leather of his glove leaves a stinging feeling. “What the fuck? What is wrong with you! I’m just trying to be a good partner but you keep pushing me away!”

You decide to enter the lion’s den one more time, approaching him carefully. “I know how much Ingo meant to you. He’s your twin brother for christ sake! But it’s been four years, Emmet. You need to let yourself heal, not only for yourself, but for Ingo. Do you think he’d want you to be like this?” You try to reason with him, but it seems to only anger him more. “... I... I’m not trying to replace him if that’s what you think is going on-”

“What do you know about my brother, huh? About his wishes? You know NOTHING, Y/N. You don’t know what he was like, you don’t know his thoughts, his emotions, how he was. Nothing!” Emmet roared back at you, baring his teeth and all. You just had to keep a stable footing.

“You’re right. I don’t know what he was like, nor do I know his thoughts and so forth. But think about it, Emmet. Do you really think-”

“You just need to shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” The younger twin hissed, finally causing you to shut up when he towered over you. His hand dangerously close to slapping it over your mouth.

That was the first time you felt any sort of fear when it came to him.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared up at him in pure terror. Holding your still stinging hand to your chest, you looked away. You were afraid if you looked at him any longer, he may get upset.

“I-I’m sorry-”

“It’s too late for an apology.”

Those words made your gaze snap back at the man you loved, flinching when he set his hand down, but it was enough to make you stumble back. A choked sob made it past your lips and you covered your face, leaning back against the sofa’s side to slide down onto the floor. Your legs felt like jelly and you felt as if you were going to throw up.

“W… What happened to you?” You whispered, freely crying into your hands. “What happened to you, Emmet?” You released your face from its prison between your fingers, daring to look at the man who still stood above you, but now there was a look of guilt and pity on his face; the face you recognized more than the other.

Emmet took in a deep breath before turning and walking away, giving you his back instead of an explanation. There’s a slam of a door in the distance and the nervous chatter of a particular arachnid that slowly made its way towards you. Rubbing its mandibles against your face, his Galvantula tried to give you as much comfort as possible before helping you get up. It seemed to know what was happening, and what was to happen, so it let out the saddest of clicks and rubbed against your leg. “I know… I know.” You tried to comfort the large spider in return, but you couldn’t help but sob once again. “I’m sorry. Please. Take care of him for me.” With one last pet to the bug-electric type, you bid it farewell and left the apartment without so much uttering a goodbye to Emmet.

#. 🥣 fics #submas x reader #emmet x reader #submas emmet x reader #emmett x reader #pokemon x reader

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gorgeousgreymatter-x · 1 year

Text

Here is a preview of the next TiaLTNGO that I think also works pretty good as a standalone and I'm proud of it so here you go lol

TW: MENTION OF NON GRAPHIC CHILD ABUSE AND PARENTAL DEATH

The day after her funeral (there hadn’t been much of one — just him and his father, who had still smelled like last night’s whiskey at the time — standing over a mound of dirt in the cemetery on one of the hottest most miserable day of the summer on record), he’d stolen his father’s clippers and sheared every stupid curl off his head. Because at the time, he’d told himself he’d rather look in the mirror and see someone he didn’t recognize, a stranger, then see her.

Not that it had helped much in the end. Because it hadn’t seemed to matter how hard Eddie tried to not be like her, not be the living, breathing, walking reminder that broke his father’s heart over and over just by doing something as simple as entering a room.

Time had passed, but that’s how Eddie knew it was a lie, that whole time heals bullshit. Because Eddie had just gotten sadder and his father had just gotten angrier.

The first and only time his father had ever put his hands on Eddie for real was also the last time. Because the next day, Uncle Wayne had shown up in a big truck and told him to pack a bag, which hadn’t been full of much of anything other than his mother’s books, the ones she and Eddie’d spent so many nights before she’d died pouring over together. Like the one that had always made his mother laugh when she’d read it to him, because Eddie’d traced the outline of one of the illustrations, a dragon’s great, spread wings, so many times on the pages that they’d faded almost completely.

Eddie thinks his mother’s memory sometimes feels a little bit like that.

It had been easy to go with Wayne, and not just because of the still-aching purplish splotch on Eddie’s cheek at the time that had throbbed whenever he’d tried to open his mouth. He hadn’t known his uncle all that well, mostly from the photos in the dusty album he’d caught his mother looking at sometimes. She had always looked sad when she did.

But Wayne’d had her eyes — bright blue where hers had been dark, like Eddie’s, but they were big, wide. Trusting.

And more than that, it was like Eddie could see it, that glimmer of something he’d been too young to realize was love because he’d been too young to notice how dim it had gotten in his own father’s gaze. The shotgun Wayne had pulled when Eddie’s father had tried to stop them from leaving had also made it a pretty simple decision, going with him.

Eddie’d been at Wayne's for three months before his hair grew out enough for him to think of asking to borrow his uncle’s clippers. He still remembers the way the man’s mouth had twisted into a frown, and Eddie’d had flinched instinctively when his uncle had reached for him, ruffling the just-barely-there tufts of brown hair already threatening to curl at the ends.

“If you want to, but I like ‘em, boy. Makes you look just like your mama.”

That had been the first time in five years Eddie’d heard that said like it wasn’t a dirty word, wasn’t a curse he was destined to drag around for the rest of his life like iron chains.

It had been the first time in five years Eddie’d been anywhere that felt safe. Been somewhere with someone who’d felt just like…home.

Until Steve.

#steddie #there is a light that never goes out #eddie munson #wayne munson #steddie fic #wayne munson fic #steddie drabble #cw child abuse #cw parental death #steve harrington

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timemachineyeah · 2 years

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Have a doctors appointment this week and among the things we are talking about is how my change in antidepressants is going and I have no idea.

I mean, on the joint pain front (it’s cymbalta) I do think it’s helped? I have been less likely to stop activities purely due to joint pain. But I’m not sure how much of that is cymbalta and how much is other factors.

And counter-intuitively I actually think the reason I’ve had so many terrible health crashes lately is because I keep feeling more motivated (which makes it easier for me to push myself too hard without noticing and induce a crash). So that might be a good sign? MAYBE? It means recalibrating my signals for when I need to STOP, but more motivation isn’t a bad thing. Unless you can hurt yourself and end up practically bedridden by being too motivated, in which case maybe it is???

Idk! I feel different, but I don’t know if I’d call it better or worse. I’m more testy, which you could frame one of two ways:

1. I have more respect for myself and my boundaries, more ability to hold onto my confidence in myself and trust in myself and my experiences and expertise, all of which make me less likely to put up with bullshit.

2. These drugs make me into a sensitive bitch, who cannot take normal human interaction in stride, can too easily imagine being the victim and everyone secretly hating her, and always picks unnecessary fights instead of letting shit go.

And idk if I like it or not! I like having confidence in myself, I like spending less time constantly second guessing myself, but I don’t like being cranky with people or having long imaginary arguments with my father!

But maybe that’s not something I should address chemically. Maybe I just need new strategies for navigating a different set of feelings being more regular.

The problem is that from everything I’ve read, cymbalta is a pain and half to get off of. Apparently the withdrawals and brain zaps are bad. And the higher your dosage, the worse it gets.

And I’m not completely happy at the current dose. So my options are likely going to be 1. Go off it now, while the dose is low, to either go back to my old meds or try something else. Or 2. Make the dose higher, increasing the risk that I’ll have a bad time going off the drug if I end up needing to.

Idk. Y’all follow me. This is maybe only a small especially unhinged fraction of my personality and life that ends up on display here, but? Has anyone felt like I’ve seemed happier or angrier or sadder or whatever lately? Especially in the past month. Could use Insights.

#timemachine wuz here

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melancolemie · 2 months

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Do men love bitches

A very hotly debated topic that divides opinion is constituted by the mere question of whether men and boys like ,,bitches’’ , where bitches doesn’t necessarily correlate to actual women who work in the sex industry or would hump everything that walks, but more so, it raises the question of men liking a specific type of women that modern society has perpetually and consistently been creating.

However, how can this ,,bitch’’ type girl be described? What defines a bitchy girl and why are boys and men so eager to engage themselves with such women? These are questions that run through my mind and that I seem to have almost no answers to.

Weren’t girls taught to act nicely around men and boys, to be pleasant, good looking, never outspeak them, agree with what they are saying? Didn’t parents teach their girls that if they weren’t respectable, beautiful, smart young ladies no boyfriend and husband would want them?

Well, apparently the entirety of people who had directed us towards such behaviors and attitudes regarding men built us a completely wrong idea of how to pursue men to pursue us. We’ve been lied to all along.

Not only do men get bored by such women and girls, but they seem to be having fun breaking their hearts and shaking their ability to trust forever. Now, the saying ,,being a good girl gets you nowhere’’ seems to be truer than ever. So, are all girls supposed to be mean, cruel and play mind games on men ? Is that the new and only way you can win a guy over? And what if the world then becomes oversaturated and overpopulated by people who play cat and mouse games but never end up actually building harmonious, loving relationships? Because this is what it seems the foreseeable future holds ahead of us.

So, what is there to be done in a situation like this? The dating world appears to be just a bunch of confused people who don’t know what they like, what they are looking for, nor who they want to be. But, inherently, we were biologically, mentally, spiritually and physically constructed to pine for another human being who can love and whom we can love back. It’s part of our nature to want to be with someone. And when we are not able to fulfill what is supposed to be a part of us, we become sadder, angrier, meaner. Therefore, failure in dating could mean failure in other areas of life too.

If all women were to act a certain way, it would be exhausting and even harder to find a male companion along with whom you can spend some cozy nights and go on some nice adventures. It would strip us of all authenticity and creativity, originality. Women would once again prove that all they do, they do for the attention and approval of men, something which doesn’t benefit any woman.

Therefore, I think that maybe, some of the girls considered ,,bitchy’’ are just girls that give less appreciation for the bare minimum. They don’t get so easily mesmerized by some sweet words and nonchalant behaviors. Surely, some are just straight up mean and cruel, but so are certain men that some girls always go after. Unless you have some real personality and parental issues, or issues with yourself, raising your standards a little higher, finding out what you truly look for in a partener, rediscovering yourself and choosing people that actually give an F about you, should save you some pain along the ride that modern dating provides. Of course someone with respect for themselves, and who prioritizes their well-being is more attractive than someone who constantly agrees with you, has no mind of their own, and is usually at all times at your disposal. Someone that you can hurt and go back to multiple, infinite times too could provide a little comfort and confidence boost but never a relationship partner. This is what some of us need to understand and acknowledge.

In the end, we all learn from mistakes at some point, so until then, maybe for certain people the key is to keep hurting, to keep meeting the same people in different fonts, until they get a hold of themselves and start going for the people that actually are similar to them. That they get along with and even find a little comfort in.

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mostlymarvelsstuff · 2 years

Text

Bleeding Out, part 2

Summary: Wanda kicks Thanos around, Steve time travels, Natasha returns 💖

Word count: 3078

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Bleeding Out Masterlist

“Clint! Where's Tasha?” she asks, god give him the strength for this.

He stares at her a moment, not quite knowing how to say this or even if he could. His silence speaks volumes to the Sokovian, as does his expression.

He looked at me like that when Y/n died…no. “No, please no. She can’t be gone, not her too.”

“I’m so sorry…I tried…tried so hard to keep her alive. She sacrificed herself so we could bring everyone back.” he states between sobs

She screams and her world goes silent, if the archer said anything more she doesn't hear him. All she can hear is her heart breaking, shattering more than she even thought possible. Natasha was her everything, quite literally, was all she had left. Her parents. Her brother, Pietro. Her girlfriend, Y/n. Her friend, Vision. And now her girlfriend, Natasha. All taken from her, cruelly. Someone had to pay for it. No, not someone, just him.

Before Clint could even try to comfort her she flies off, angrier than he’d ever seen her. Sadder too. He knew where she was going and he knew she could win. Give him hell Wanda. For Nat.

She lands in a cloud of dust and swirls of red magic. Her eyes aglow, the pain she feels feeds her hatred for Thanos beyond anything she's ever felt.

“You took everything from me.” she tells him

“I don’t even know who you are” he scoffs

She tilts her head, “You will.”

She levitates, hurling massive chunks of debris at him. He slices through them as if they were paper. She tosses orbs of her magic at him, causing him to stumble but still he does not submit. Instead he swings his sword at her, she catches it with her magic but he pushes against her, confident he can overpower his enemy. But she sends his sword flying from his grasp, one blade now broken before she hurls him into the sky. Tearing bits or armor from him, crushing other pieces.

His defeat is upon him, he can sense it, but he will not allow it. “Rain fire!” She attempts to block the blast but it sends her flying through the air and away from the Mad Titan. Her blood boils in anger for him and his army. The rest of the battle is a blur for her, her powers consume any enemy in her way.

They end up winning, but the cost was high, Tony and Natasha. Her beautiful beloved Natasha, both gone now, both heroes who sacrificed everything for a cruel miserable world that didn’t deserve them. She breaks down then, everything feels too heavy. Like she's bearing the weight of the world on her back and finally it's cracked.

Clint knows it’s not the weight of the world on her back, but the weight of the grief on her chest. He scoops her up, puts her in a car and takes her away from the battlefield, away from anything that may consume her and brings her back to Tonys cabin. He sits down with her by the waters edge and lets her cry. Her hands clutch at his chest as her sobs wreck her, and Clint cries with her.

Once she's exhausted herself of tears he carries her inside and up to the spare bedroom where Pepper waits. She changes Wanda into more comfortable clothes before tucking her in. Wanda is too drained to comprehend what was going on so she doesn't thank her, but Pepper understands, because if it wasn’t for Morgan she would be in the same place Wanda is.

“Thanks Pepper. We’ll be out of your hair tomorrow, I’ll take her to the farm. Being with me, Laura and the kids will hopefully help.” he tells her as he snuggles up on the sofa

“Of course Clint. I’m sure it will help, to a degree. It won’t fix how she feels though.” she tells him

“I know…I’m sorry about Tony. He was a good man.” he says

She nods, “He was the best.”

Clint awakes the next morning far too early, to use the restroom, a small commotion outside gains his attention. Seems Bruce, Bucky, Sam and Steve plan on doing some time traveling. He better look into this.

“Morning fellas. What uh, what's going on?” he questions

Steve quickly checks behind the man, “The girls still asleep?”

“I would hope so, it’s only five in the morning.” he answers, “Now answer my question, gramps. What are you guys doing?”

“Steves returning the stones, to the time and place they belong.” Bruce answers

Clint harbors no love for these stones, but he can’t help but feel a small tug in his chest at the thought of not being able to see that small amber stone ever again. A soul for a soul. That's what the floating creep had said to them, and when he held that stone, it was like he could feel Natasha. To be rid of it, was to be rid of the last bit of her. He didn’t like that idea very much, but he liked the idea of keeping the stone even less. It wasn’t her, not really, not in the way that he wanted or in a way that mattered.

“Can I just see her- it, one last time?” he asks, voice cracking with sadness

Steve knows the one he is referring to, he picks up the case and pops it open. Gently he picks the amber one up and hands it to the archer. Clint holds it in his palm, gazing at it as if it might really be her, but it's not. It’s only a rock with the power to bring untold misery. He curls his fingers around it as his tears fall. He squeezes it in his grasp, like it somehow would crack open and magically Nat would appear in front of them. He knew that wouldn't happen, but a man can dream right?

“Have a safe trip Cap.” he solemnly says, handing back the amber stone before turning to return to the cabin and the sofa

“Why didn’t you didn’t tell him?” Bucky asks after Clints out of earshot

“Because we have no guarantees this will work. I don’t want to get anyones hopes up, especially since they are trying to grieve right now. A failure would only make things worse.” Steve replies

“Ready Cap?” Bruce asks

He nods, grabbing the case and stepping up on the platform. His helmet covers his head and he nods to the large green scientist, “See you guys soon.”

Then he's there, his first stop. The compound minutes before his great ‘whatever it takes’ speech, stupid speech cost him a dear friend and the following battle cost him another. But now they were right there with his past self, getting ready to save the world. He clears his throat, gaining their attention. Everyones weapons point to him, suspicious of two Steves.

“Easy.” he says

“Who the hell are you?” past Steve questions

“You. About three days older.” he replies

“Prove it.” Clint states

Steve holds up the case and opens it, showing off all six stones to the stunned heroes before him.

“So it works then, we win?” Nat asks and he finds tears in his eyes at her voice

“We end up fighting Thanos again but yes, we win. We bring everyone back.” he tells them

“I sense a ‘but’ coming, because if you win then why come back to the past?” Tony says

“Because I came to see my friends, and hopefully bring them back home.” he admits

There's a silence as the heroes take in what the man says. Some of them don’t make it, that's what future Steve is saying. Their eyes glance around the room at each other wondering who they lose, all but one afraid to ask.

“Who?” Rocket questions

“Hm?” Steve asks, caught a bit off guard

“Who doesn't make it?” Rocket clarifies

Steves eyes fall to the floor, “Vormir requires a sacrifice in order to get the soul stone-”

“It was me, right? Tell me I did it.” the archer asks

Steve smiles sadly, “You certainly tried, she wasn’t going to let you though.”

“Oh.” The Russian breathes out, “Then when Wanda comes back, she's alone?”

“She is. She nearly killed Thanos all on her own for it. But she's miserable Nat.” he admits

She smirks, “That's my girl,” her brows furrow in thought for a moment, “I don’t want her to be alone and I can’t say I’m looking forward to dying either, but if I leave won’t it change the outcome?”

“If taking the stones from the past didn’t change anything, then this shouldn't either. At least that's what Bruce told me.” he answers

She nods and looks around to her friends, all of them affected by the news of her death. The looks on their faces tell her to go, to live, to be with Wanda.

“Ok, I’ll go with you.” she tells him, walking over to join him. He smiles, glad to have her back by his side.

“We lost more than just Nat though, didn’t we?” Thor asks

Steve nods, “Tony, you saved us all. You used the stones and snapped to rid us of Thanos and his army. But it caused injuries that were unsurvivable.”

“My girls, how are they handling it?” he asks

“Pepper is strong, she has Happy and Rhodey to help her through it but she misses you so much. Morgan is struggling to understand that you aren’t coming back.” he answers

“The kid, Peter, he comes back?” he asks

“He does, and he's one hell of a kid. He's a wreck without you.” Steve tells him

He sighs, “Well then, that settles it. Can’t have my family being all depressed without me. Let’s go Cap.”

“Glad to hear it. The two of you really don’t know how much we’ve missed you. Before I can take you home, we have these to return.” he says, the three of them head off

Vormir, 2014

“Geez, what a welcoming planet.” Tony annonces upon their arrival

Steve nods, “Clint did say it lacked charm.”

“I died here? Great, charming really.” Nat says, looking around

“Let me guess you’d prefer dying in an avalanche or explosion, something cool. Am I close?” Tony teases, causing her to glare at him

“Shh. We aren’t alone here.” Steve says, stopping their banter

“Welcome. Tony, son of Maria. Steve, son of…a bitch. And as for you, Natasha, daughter of Ivan..I just watched you fall.” the stonekeeper says

“How do you know my moms name?”

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

She shrugs, “Different daughter of Ivan.”

“I know everyones name, I am cursed to guard the stone thanks to my failure at your hands Rogers, and impossible. Ivan had but one daughter.” the stonekeeper replies

“It doesn't matter how she's here. What matters is the soul stone and since you're apparently its guardian, here.” Steve says retrieving the stone from its case and handing it to the perplexed keeper before signaling it was time the three moved on

Morag, 2014

“Who's the unconscious idiot?” Nat asks, stepping over Quill

Steve waves her off, “Not important at the moment.”

“Right. Sorry.” she replies as the three of them head into the temple where they replace the power stone in the orb before leaving

Asgard, 2013

“Holy shit.” Tony exclaims

“No wonder Loki was so…”

“Entitled?” Nat offers

“That's one word for him.” Tony jokes

“Excuse me.” a womans voice suddenly says, startling all of them, even Natasha who hadn't heard the woman, “I’ll take that from you now.” she says pointing to the reality stone

“Thor said you might offer help.” he says, handing over the stone

She simply smiles at them, “Best be off, three mortals are very noticeable here.”

“Right, of course ma’am.” he replies

“Just Frigga will do. Give my son, my love.” she says as the three move on

Camp Lehigh, New Jersey, 1970

“Wait, why are we here to return the space stone? I thought we were grabbing it in New York with the mind and time stones.” Tony asks

“Well, things didn’t go according to plan. Oh, and Peggy and Howard are here so-”

“My dads here?” Tony says, looking around suddenly as if the man might sneak up from behind them

“Yes and future you already had one awkward run in and talk with him, so let's try not to do it again.” Steve tells him before turning to Nat, “Think you can put these back without being noticed?”

She rolls her eyes, “I’m a Russian assassin and spy, tell me where they go.”

New York, 2012

“Wait, are we really going to hand the mind stone off to HYDRA?” Tony asks

“Yes, remember we’re going forward to 2023, all of this will already be dealt with by then.” Steve replies

“So wheres the time stone go?.” Nat asks

“Sanctum Sanctorum.” he replies

“Stranges place?” he asks, Steve nods, “Well why don’t the two of you return the mind stone and I’ll return the time stone to save, well, time.”

“Alright, here. Just be-”

“Careful with it. I got this Cap.” he says with a smug grin before heading off

The other two head into the tower avoiding everyone they can. As far as Steve can tell they're only four doors away now so it should go smoothly. He turns to tell Nat exactly that when laughter from down the hall grabs her attention.

“Y/n…” she whispers as Steve shoves her and himself into the nearest doorway. He leaves the door slightly ajar letting them see when the people who could spot them pass by

“I can’t believe Steve actually helped you up onto one.” you say with a chuckle

“Honestly me either.” 2012 Nat replies

“How did you drive, er, pilot it?” you ask

“Very carefully.” you give her a look, “Ok fine, I had knives in the aliens shoulder blades to help me control it.”

“That sounds more like you.” you say with a laugh as you both pass the slightly ajar door and head on down the hall

Natasha watches fondly, a sad smile on her face, “That's when I knew I was starting to have feelings for her. When I found her after everything that had happened that day I was so relieved. I wish we could have gotten more time with her.”

Steve takes a moment to look at this friend, tears run down her face and he can tell it's taking everything in her to not run after you. To hug you and hold you and never let go of you again. So he decides, it was only fair. He came back to grab the heroes that died and damn it Y/n was one of those heroes. He’d talk to Bruce, he’d come back for you.

With all the stones returned they can finally head home. The look of joy on Buce, Sam and Buckys faces when they see three people standing on that platform was something Steve will never forget.

Present Day, 2023

“The girls and Clint are in the cabin-” is all he gets out before the two take off

Tony practically tears the front door from its hinges as he enters, a startled Clint falls off the sofa and hits his head.

“Damn you Tony” he grumbles as the inventor runs by heading up the stairs to see his wife and daughter. It’s then the archer realizes what he said, “Tony?!” he says before sitting up only to gaze into those emerald eyes of his best friend

“What, no hello for me?” she teases

Hes up and hugging her before she can say anything else. She whispers sweet phrases in his ear as he cries. Finally he lets go, “How?”

“Steve came and got us from the past. He said Wanda's back, where is she Clint?” she asks eager to see the woman she's missed for five years

He leads her through the house until they come to the guest bedroom door, he knocks loud enough to wake her, “It’s me Wanda. I’m coming in ok? I have a surprise for you.” he says opening the door

“I don’t want a surprise” she grumbles, her back facing them as she lies in bed

Nat walks into the room, within arms reach of the bed, “You sure?”

Wanda bolts up in bed, tears fill her eyes at hearing the other womans voice. Please don’t let this be a dream. She thinks as she turns around to find her girlfriend standing there with her own tears in her eyes

“Hi” she manages before the Sokovian tackles her in a hug.

They fall to the floor together but Nat doesn't mind, she just sits there holding the younger woman as she cries into her chest. Clint watches for a moment before he closes the door, intent on heading home to greet his own family who he had simply talked to over the phone instead of going to see straight away because he couldn’t leave Wanda alone and Laura had understood once he explained.

“I thought I lost you too.” Wanda cries into Nats chest, she runs a soothing hand through her hair

“I’m right here now dorogoy(sweetheart). Five years without you was hell.” she admits

“One day without you was hell, I can’t imagine five years. I’m so sorry Tasha.” She says looking up at her girlfriend

“It’s not your fault. I’m just so glad I have you back.” she says before connecting her lips to Wandas. They share a slow passionate kiss, both enjoying having the other by their side once more.

“I’m definitely not complaining, but how are you here?” the witch asks

“Steve. He went back in time to grab me and Tony. Then we went with him to return the stones to their proper places in time.” Nat explains

Wanda can tell Nat has something on her mind “What is it moya lyubov'(my love)?” she asks, cupping her cheeks

“When we went back to 2012, I saw Y/n…leaving without her, it’s like losing her all over again.” she admits, a few tears escaping

Wanda gives her a sad smile, “Oh Tasha, I miss her too. So much.”

They hadn’t noticed the door open while they were talking, Steves voice startled them slightly, “I have a solution for that.”

#natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x y/n #wandanat #wanda x natasha #marvel #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #wandanat x y/n #wandanat x reader

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littleoddwriter · 3 years

Note

hello kind sir, could I maybe possibly please get some zsaszmask x reader hcs where reader is trans (guy 👀) and his boyfriends just absolutely dote on him when he's dysphoric? but like they're pretty bad at it because lbr they're both not the type to do so? they just don't like seeing him like that so they're trying but yknow

I hope this makes sense lmao, I'm so sorry if it doesn't 😂

Roman Sionis x Trans!Male!Reader x Victor Zsasz (Poly) | Headcanons

Hello there, my precious King! Kfdsjflsdjs, yes!!! Gosh, thank you so much for the request, I hope you like these headcanons. :') <3 And you always make perfect sense to me, don't you worry! So, no need to apologise. <3

notes; Trans!Male!Reader; Gender Dysphoria; Comfort; Poly-Amorous Relationship; ZsaszMask trying their best.

Reblogs > Likes. Thank you!

Even after several months, you still feel like you being trans is a problem between you three; although they keep reminding you that it isn't (and it's true - Roman had to get over himself for the first couple of months, but now he doesn't mind at all; and Victor never cared in the first place).

But when you see them shirtless, you feel so inadequate, so different and alienated from them. If you're a real man, too, then why do you feel so envious of how masculine - how much better - they look? No matter what you do, you can always tell that your body hasn't always looked the way it does now, and that always strips you off all the gender euphoria you might feel when you're fully dressed and having a better day.

It makes you feel so bad to be jealous of them and to be angry that they have the body that you wished you had been born with; but instead you had to work so hard and pay so much money to get it where it is now and it still doesn't seem like enough.

And whenever you feel like this, you withdraw from them, brooding over the unfairness of it all, as you get increasingly sadder and angrier. Every time that happens, Victor is the first to actually notice it, thanks to being used to Roman's fluctuating moods; and so he draws Roman's attention to your situation.

They never quite know what to really do to help you out effectively, but they're really trying and you always appreciate it. For example, they will come up to you and sit down beside you, one on either side, and if you're comfortable with it, they'll put their arms around you and cuddle you for a little while.

Sometimes that does the trick already, because knowing that they don't mind touching you and actually make an effort to try and make you feel better means so much to you and clears up some of the dark clouds.

Other times, they're forced to improvise and talk you through it. They remind you of the fact that you are a real man to them, and they have never seen you any differently and they never will - your gender dysphoria is lying to you, since they can't actually detect any former femininity in your body whatsoever.

One time that they have to reassure you like this, Roman admits to you that he had to work on himself to not have a problem with it and he still doesn't really understand how being transgender works; but that doesn't mean that he sees you as any less of a man. He truly doesn't and he firmly tells you that, before kissing your lips and forehead.

Victor is less vocal, but he always agrees with what Roman is saying and adds his own thoughts to it; and he never fails to bluntly tell you that bodies are useless vessels that he, too, wishes no one actually had to have, since they're so restricting, so he can understand you to some extent (it weirds Roman out a bit when you two talk about bodies like this, but he doesn't genuinely mind it).

By the end of it, you're usually sporting a small smile as you let them kiss you breathless in turns.

#trans male insert #trans male reader #trans male reader insert #trans male y/n #roman sionis #roman sionis x reader #roman sionis x you #roman sionis x y/n #ewan mcgregor #victor zsasz #victor zsasz x reader #chris messina #zsaszmask #birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #harley quinn birds of prey #headcanon

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zee-has-commitment-issues · 2 years

Note

9 or 10!

Hello, friend!

You didn’t give me a character, so I will offer you one. I bring you number 9 with Maddie.

9. “You can’t talk to me like that. I’m the (future) King!”

“No, you’re an idiot.”

(Also, this ended up being a lot sadder than I thought it was going to be. And I'm not an amazing writer, so this could be terrible. If it is bad, ignore it and pretend you never saw it.)

Maddie wasn’t sure how, when, or why she’d landed herself in the library, but she was here now. She’d become somewhat good friends with Simon in the last two months. Not so much with Wilhelm. They were on good terms, spoke frequently, had traded numbers and such, but she was slightly convinced that he was afraid of her. Probably justifiable, given that she was going to rip his head off right now.

Wille sat alone at a table in the back corner of the room, his books spread out on the surface. Just as he usually did. He spent most of his time in this little nook now. Felice paid him visits occasionally, and Maddie sometimes accompanied her, but he seemed lonely most of the time. She wondered if he enjoyed being lonely. She wondered why he put it on display for everyone to watch.

But that was all gone from her head now because she’d come for a specific reason. Simon had revealed the reason for their breakup, and she was furious with Wilhelm.

Her Simon? Her delightful, charming, trusting little Simon? The sweetest boy she’d ever met? And Wille had done that to him?

No. Incorrect. Wrong. She’d fix this. She had to fix this.

Maddie pulled a chair from under the table and sat down. “You’re a fucking idiot,” she said.

Wille flinched and dropped his pencil as he heard her voice. Malin was nearby, but opted not to get involved. Maddie was, after all, an American. There were a few cultural differences to consider.

“You-” Wilhelm struggled to find words to appropriately engage in this conversation. “You can’t speak to me like that. I’m the future king.” In general, he wasn’t normally one to pull ranks, but this seemed to be the only thing that could make a place in his mind.

“No, you’re an idiot,” Maddie insisted.

Wilhelm sighed and pushed his book away from him, his hands folded on the table. “I’m sure you’re right, but can someone, for once, tell me why?” Wilhelm’s inquiry rang out considerably louder than he had meant it to. It was also a lot angrier than he had intended. He could see it in Maddie’s bewildered eyes. She hadn’t expected him to respond in that way, either. But it didn’t really matter anymore. He’d shown his cards and now he was going to dig his grave. “What is it now? Should we make a video of it and post it on the internet? Should we give my mother a call to make sure she’s prepared for a press conference? Perhaps if we get the Headmistress involved, she’ll be able to expel me!”

Wilhelm swung his arms animatedly as he talked, while Maddie waited in silence with her mouth agape. He looked like a madman. And eventually, after what started to feel like a lifetime of accusations and rants, he subsided and slumped back in his chair. Her mouth felt dry. Her throat felt as though she hadn’t taken a drink of water in a hundred years. Her entire body felt like it was filled with sand, yet she managed to find her voice.

“Simon,” she whispered. His whole body appeared to sink. He hung his head in shame. Maddie watched as it happened. She didn’t believe she’d ever seen someone’s life drained so quickly. Never seen someone become hollow within a second. Less than that, maybe. “You wanted him to be a secret?”

Wilhelm instantly shook his head. He sat up straight and slammed his book shut. That certainly didn’t draw more attention to this conversation. “No. I never said that. He said he didn’t want to be a secret. All I said was that we couldn’t be seen together.”

“Wille, that’s a secret!”

“No!” he’d not meant to shout that bit, but people were staring now. A lot of people. More than they had been before. Everyone in the room, as well as those preparing to walk in. Even Malin appeared startled by the sudden outburst. The subject had proved to be more delicate than Maddie had initially expected. “They can’t have him, Maddie.”

It was no more than a whisper, but still, it made her skin crawl. He looked… broken. Maddie didn’t believe she’d ever seen anyone look so broken. Not even when Simon knocked on her door, crying. Not when Simon had fallen asleep on her bed after hours of talking about how unfair everything was. Not when Simon had started telling her about the breakup. She’d never seen anyone so broken as Wille was right now. Sitting in the library. Alone. Like he had no one left.

And she supposed he didn’t.

Erik had died, his parents had forced him to deny his relationship, Simon had dumped him, and even August had appeared to put some distance between them. Maddie had believed it was a case of deeply rooted homophobia in August, but now she was seconding-guessing her first assessment. Even Felice had given up on going to the library to see him after a while.

And now Maddie. Now she was talking to him like this. Like he was a child. As if he’d been the only one who’d done something wrong in this situation.

“Who can’t have him?” Her words were now more cautious now. The impulsivity of her conversation skills must have flown out the window the moment he sank in his own skin.

“All of them. The press, and the media, and the gossip columns, and the three girls over there who started recording this conversation the minute I got upset,” Wilhelm said, motioning to a table where three third-year girls had their phones out. Madison couldn’t remember him ever glancing over at them, but he’d somehow picked up on them filming him. She started to wonder if this was the reason he spent so much time in this very particular corner of the library. If this was the place that was the farthest away from prying eyes. If he’d spent so long observing that he didn’t have to observe anything at all anymore. “There is a difference between secret and private. Simon didn’t want to be a secret, and I didn’t want to explain the difference. He deserves more than that. They can’t have him. They have everything.”

Maddie carefully stretched out and placed her hand on his arm. He didn’t back away or brush it off, but he gave the girls who were filming an uneasy look. Maddie withdrew her hand. “But what about-”

“No, Madison,” he interrupted. She didn't like that. Didn't like the way he'd said her name. Like he was using it to belittle her. Wilhelm returned to his book, this time just to stare at the words instead of reading them. His mind was too busy thinking over all the potential reasons that this conversation could have emerged. “They already have me. They had my brother, they have my parents. They have my job, my school, my friends. They had my first time and they’ll draw conclusions about my sexuality years before I ever come out. They even have you, Maddie. They can’t have Simon.”

That’s kind of when it all hit her. How little control Wilhelm had in his life. Sure, she knew he was a prince. She was well aware that he had a responsibility and a reputation to maintain. She knew Wilhelm’s denial of his involvement in the video was most likely not his decision.

But this was different. This was a whole new level of helplessness that she’d never once considered.

Maddie had seen her name a few times on those gossip pages, but she hadn’t given it much thought as to how she’d ended up there. People were always watching him. Always. So much so that even the few times they’d interacted appeared to draw someone’s attention. Maddie had been his friend for barely a few months, and you could Google her now. They weren’t even really friends and you could find her name on the internet alongside his. Because he had no privacy.

She sunk in her own seat now. She felt nearly as helpless as he looked. When she first entered the room, she had grand ideas about how to fix this whole thing. How she was going to give him a piece of her mind on Simon’s behalf because her new friend was far too sweet to do it himself. But now... now there was nothing.

This was why he liked to sit alone. Because no one could report on his movements if the only thing he did was sit alone and study. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s fine,” he lied.

Wille was right. There was a distinction to be made between secret and private. Secrets were for dime store hookers who arrived through the side entrance of hotels because they couldn’t be seen entering through the front. Private was for people who simply wished not to tell the entire world about their dirty laundry. He wanted to keep Simon private, but the only real way to do that was to also keep him a secret. And Wille didn’t want to do that.

“You really love him, don’t you?” Maddie asked as she snatched an orange slice from Wilhelm’s pile. The oranges should have been a clue from the beginning. It was Simon’s favorite study snack, too.

Wilhelm grinned and turned the page of the book he hadn’t been reading. “I thought that much was obvious.”

She laughed at him and leaned forward to rest on the desk. “You may be Sweden’s future king, but you’re still a fucking idiot.”

He didn’t laugh loudly. It was more of a sharp exhale, but it was the best he could do at the time. She understood it well enough. They weren’t really friends, but they were getting closer.

Maddie didn’t realize until three days later how public his personal life really was.

Three days later, when their modest touch at the library was published in a magazine. All she’d done was touch his arm for two seconds. Two seconds.

But in those two seconds, those girls had been recording. And those girls had already sent their videos. And those videos had fallen into the hands of reporters.

And Maddie had ended up in a magazine.

For putting her hand on Wilhelm’s arm.

For comforting a friend.

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