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le-trash-prince · 3 months

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Kenta

Okay. It is once again time for me to talk about my number one little man. I was interested in Kenta from the very beginning, and at some point I realized that I was not going to be normal about him, but I really did not anticipate how much he would come to mean to me. I hope y'all have enjoyed witnessing my descent into feral blorbo state. It is not over for me in the slightest.

I want to say that Garfield really acted the shit out of this role, and the writers knew what they were doing when they cast him. His arc was so important to the overall plot, with his growth being pivotal to Tony's downfall, and yet he had a relatively small amount of dialogue to work with (although certainly not the smallest amount of the cast).

A lot of his scenes involve him standing in Tony's office, taking instructions, or even just simply observing. A lot of his lines are based around business deals and errands—rather than furthering his emotional development. He doesn't give big speeches, he doesn't talk about his feelings or his dreams, it's always just "I'm doing xyz for Tony, and I will never betray him."

Some of his most dialogue heavy scenes are in one stairwell with Pete and in another with Tony, which I think are extremely pivotal moments, both of which reveal a fear of abandonment.

But it's honestly when he's quiet that he says the most.

And I love that, I'm obsessed with it. I love that the whole fandom could insantly tell that he and Pete had something going on, just from the way they looked at each other. I love that the storytelling in his arc was so highly visual.

In the beginning, Kenta appears to be nothing more than Tony's lackey: quiet, intimidating, and actively complicit with what is going on.

But as we see him more and more, it becomes exceedingly apparent that he cares, so much. I know I am biased in saying this, but I do also pay close attention to what other people are saying about Kenta, and I know almost everyone has been waiting the entire series to see him stand up to Tony. The amount of acting that Garfield did with his eyes, while remaining such a stoic character, was insane.

Despite him repeatedly declaring his loyalty to Tony, despite the fact that he does not reveal any actions against Tony until episode 12, we feel so much of his inner conflict.

I think for me, personally, the aspect of Kenta's character that I relate to the most is his inability to speak up when he wants to. I've struggled with selective mutism my entire life, and there have been countless, countless scenarios where I've had so many things to say and no ability to say them. The more dire the situation, the more my words fail me. I have to spend so much of my energy constantly planning for potential conflict scenarios just so I can have the time I need to figure out which words to use. Because it can sometimes take months for me to figure out certain phrases. And because it is so painful to stay silent when you want to tell someone to stop. To stop fighting, to stop hurting each other, to stop hurting me.

So I was beyond moved and proud to watch Kenta finally be able to protect his brothers and quietly say the one thing he has wanted to say all along.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

I will take some of the words that P'Chod gave to Garfield before they went into production. "It’s just you want to live in a peaceful house and be happy together.” All we want is peace.

I wish that Kenta had not been forced to kill Tony because I don't think he has ever wanted to hurt anyone. But I'm sure as hell not sorry that he did it. There will always be people who are unwilling to stop.

And I recognize that Kenta tried a peaceful method first. He gave X-Hunter what they needed to put Tony in jail, and Tony refused to give up. He was never going to be the kind of person who would simply surrender. To him, these people's lives are property that he is entitled to.

Here is an auto translation of something Garfield said about Kenta at the final episode screening.

"I already knew that Kenta would be similar to me, in that I'm someone who doesn't dare to express my feelings to the people around me, saying very little. So when I got the role, I felt… that it teaches us that as long as we dare to be ourselves and do things that make us happy, that's enough."

We may never know what happened to Kenta after Tony died, but I hope he is able to find his peace. I hope he is able to engage with restorative justice, and I hope he is able to learn what family really should be.

And I hope that someone, anyone, will give him a goddamned hug.

the first shot / the last shot

Thank you, Kenta, from the bottom of my heart, for showing us yours.

#god okay this one took a lot out of me IM STILL RUNNING ON LOW SLEEP #anyways I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMMMMMMMM #pit babe the series #kenta pit babe #pit babe spoilers #pit babe meta #em post #em meta #pit babe

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midniiights-garden · 4 months

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My take on Mizu's character (+ why I don't actually want her to end up with someone at the end of the show)

Ok so, I'm going to start off with my analysis on Mizu before moving onto the possibly controversial part of my post which is: Why do I not want her with anyone?

Mizu has, obviously, a lot of trauma. Ranging from the trauma inflicted onto her because of her mixed race and around her gender and her role as a woman. And to add onto that she has ended up developing a trauma towards intimate relationships and relationships in general due to both her mother and Mikio playing a part in breaking apart her trust.

Despite what a lot of people seem to headcanon I do not think Mizu is non-binary. And before people get mad I say this as someone who is non-binary myself. Mizu is a woman. A woman who has not been able to explore who she is as a person because of the fear of being caught. I believe that deep down she holds this interal mysogyny, not because she hates women but because of what the societal standards are for them. She correlates anything with femininity with negatives (being married off, sex work, being treated as property and so on). This causes her to be reluctant in showing her feminine side, but this does not make her any less of a woman.

Next up is her relationship with revenge and positive emotional outlets. Due to her less than happy past she has formed an innate reaction to link vengence as her only outlet to some form of freedom. In the end, a lot of what she does actually prevents her own self-healing, even if the people she is out to kill do deserve to die. The thing is, she formulates her entire outward persona on these people. On the revenge she plans to take and her anger. And what I'm trying to say here is that she is not herself. In the end, her own bitterness as well as her circumstances prevent her from healing herself, prevent her from allowing her inner self to become her outer persona as well.

This leads me on to the part that may be a bit controversial. I just want to put a disclaimer that this is my personal opinion, and everyone is entitled to their own so please do not hate me for this.

Because of the many issues in her own self and in her mental stability I actually would rather not see Mizu with a love interest. I want Blue Eye Samurai to focus around Mizu healing herself. I want to see her grow into someone that doesn't have destruction and death as her core. I want Mizu to accept and heal herself, a testament that healing doesn't necessarily need to rely on others, but is also attributed to self-awareness and discipline. I feel like pairing her up with someone would kind of overshadow her personality and would actually lessen the quality of the show rather than aid it. If she is to be paired up with a character though, I personally see her ending up with a woman.

(A/N: That's all!! I hope you enjoyed and I plan on making some general headcanon's for Mizu as well, although I do tend to try to stick to canon. If you'd like to discuss or add onto my ideas always feel free to do so!! :DDD)

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #i love women #i love fictional characters #character analysis #headcanon

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thatbadadvice · 1 year

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Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

#advice #bad advice #money #financial advice #slate #pay dirt #vacations #inheritances #finances #this goofy chucklefuck

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spacelazarwolf · 9 months

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I really hate how often neo ra/df/ems will go on and on about how trans fem's transitions are waaaaaay more difficult and they're waaaaaay less likely to pass, but if a trans masc dared to make any similar comparisons, they'd be fucking crucified.

There are a lot of feelings I have around sex-based discrimination and the difficulties of a masculinizing transition. On one hand, I don't think comparing struggles like that is useful (i.e. trans women have harder transitions).

On the other hand, I feel like the reality of the situation is actually quite the opposite for many people (everyone acknowledges that testosterone makes your voice drop and you grow hair, but nobody seems to want to acknowledge hysterectomy vs orchi, voice training is still often needed, electrolysis for phallo, the fact that bottom surgery is usually multi-staged [even metoidioplasty is sometimes 2 stages] with a lot of moving parts and far worse scarring, top surgery is almost a necessity for passing whereas not every trans fem wants top surgery + scars are easier to hide, face masculinization is far less common w/ fewer options, puberty begins earlier in perisex people AFAB and puberty blockers don't always allow for full height to be achieved bc they don't typically allow you to start testosterone until you're about 15 even IF you were a "classic" trans-since-3-years-old kinda case, the extreme body horror that is accidental pregnancy and abortion and menstruation when that's dysphoric vs not being able to carry a pregnancy just feels like an insulting comparison sometimes and I've had multiple trans women call me inconsiderate for expressing horror at getting my bodily rights taken away bc "that triggers my dysphoria", testosterone is a scheduled substance and has more difficult administration methods than simply a pill, etc.)

And so I bite my tongue and try to be the better person, because stooping to that low doesn't help anything. But at the same time it's so extremely frustrating to be told that you "have it better" when, considering the facts, it REALLY feels like the opposite. There's this level of bitterness around that that I am DESPERATELY trying to resolve within myself. I have a therapist. I know it's projection. I'm working on my own bullshit. But please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way? I just wish they'd stop with that rhetoric and realize just how difficult the average trans masc transition truly is

yeah it's really frustrating for ppl to present Trans Women's Experiences and Trans Men's Experiences as diametrically opposed, with one experience being Eternal Pain And Inescapable Suffering and the other being Barely A Blip On The Life Radar. and while i understand it's coming from a place of pain, i've also experienced a lot of trans women shutting me down when i try to talk about how abortion rights affect me. back when i was first dipping my toe into trans spaces, i was friends with a trans woman who told me it was transmisogynistic of me to want to transition because "trans women would kill to have been born in your body." and while it absolutely comes from a different place than when cis men try to assert control over me and there's not the same power dynamic, it's still a complete stranger feeling entitled to tell me what to do with my body because of the sex i was assigned at birth. it's frustrating to have people i'm supposed to be in community with play into the same sexist bullshit that other people, regardless of gender, have been holding over my head my whole life, feeling like they own my body bc women and ppl who are forcibly assigned the role of women in society are seen as public property. our bodies aren't our own. everyone feels entitled to comment on them and touch them and make decisions about them. and it sucks when it comes from other people who should understand how that feels.

and like. obviously this idea that trans men's transition is so much easier than trans women's is unhelpful bc 1. there is no one particular way for trans men to transition, 2. not everyone who transitions in the way typically associated with trans men is a trans man, 3. it doesn't take into account how disability, race, ethnicity, etc. play into people's experiences before, during, and after transition, and 4. it's just not a fucking competition????? the fact that a disabled black trans man is going to be more systemically oppressed in society than a wealthy white trans woman doesn't mean trans men as a category are Objectively More Oppressed than trans women. bc gender is like. the worst possible way to try to gauge a group's place within the system. bc at this point, gender is not the most powerful system, race is. and i feel like a fuck ton of people really do not recognize that.

another thing that has bugged me for as long as i've been in trans spaces is this bizarre attitude that trans women are doomed to this miserable life of clockability and will never be able to pass as cis women thus they must accept that their life will be nothing but pain and suffering. and that's just very much not true! i know plenty of trans women who "pass" or who are happy with their bodies, who have jobs they love and friends and family who love them, who have a community that supports and celebrates them. and it has just always rubbed me the wrong way that people think they're helping trans women by presenting their existence as Inevitably Miserable when all it does is terrify closeted trans girls who think they're better off never coming out or transitioning, or better off dying. like. we have to understand that these narratives we create, the idea of the perpetually suffering trans woman and the lonely isolated trans man, are absolutely driving people to suicidal ideation. and if we give a shit about trans people, we should be changing these narratives.

#ask avishai #atm

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histrionicparanoidhell · 4 months

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hello, sorry if youve had a similar ask before. i have a friend who suspects they have hpd. i want to better support my friend. ive read academic works but most are only concerened with diagnosing or professional therapy. your blog has been really helpful for me to understand my friend’s pov. do you have any advice?

Yes. So first off people with HPD rarely have malicious intent when they seek out attention. Malicious impact? Maybe. But it is rarely to purposely harm somebody. This is important when not only calling them out on hurtful behavior but also when trying to understand why they did something they did. Accusing them of an intent that’s not there never does any good.

Secondly people with HPD tend to have shallow emotions and may seem at times as though they don’t care about you or that they’re superficial. It may also seem like they’re “just using you” for attention. This isn’t true. People with HPD love people in their own way and just because it may look like one thing doesn’t mean it’s not love. The using thing also goes back to my first point. And, because someone may love you for the attention you bring does not mean it’s not love.

TALK OF ABLEISM, SH, ED BEHAVIORS AND SUI BEHAVIORS UNDER CUT

Third off, there’s a myth that pwHPD throw “tantrums” because they’re “spoiled” or “entitled”. This is a very ableist understanding of a histrionic crash. Histrio crashes are times of severe dysphoria that can even lead to suicidal ideation. They are caused when the histrionic feels at their lowest because of lack of attention. It’s very important to understand that for us histrionics lack of attention is actually dangerous to our mental health and can cause self injury, restricted eating, binge eating, purging, destruction of property, verbal and physical fights, mebtal and physical harm of others, and even suicide attempts. Histrio crashes are to be dealt with with care, like short depressive (or at some times mixed) episodes.

You can DM me privately if you want clarification or expansion on any of these points. Hope this helped.

#cluster b #personality disorder #hpd #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #actually hpd #actually histrionic #honestly histrionic #histrio crash

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flowersandbigteeth · 3 months

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Blast from the past ask about the Kherae aliens based off of this lore…

“The aliens were polite, good providers, and had charming cultural differences that made relationships with them interesting and fresh…Their society worshiped women and after theirs were brutally gassed and murdered, they were protective and devoted husbands. You were pretty jealous you’d never gotten to choose a Kherae at one of their centers, where they let you look through screens filled with eligible bachelors for the right one. All your friends from college were blissfully happy with their new enormous, hunky husbands…The other married officers were polite, but looked at you with indifference. To their credit, married Kherae were pretty devoted to their spouses. They didn’t think of other women. They spoke to you when they needed to and then walked away, never stopping for any pleasantries.”

Questions (sorry this is so long!):

What are some fun tidbits of Kherae culture that make dating them fun and interesting? What’s the courtship culture?

When a human woman “selects” her potential husband, does the Kherae just go along with it cause he wants any mate he can get? Or do they go through dating like how we normally do, and meet lots of other potential spouses to make sure they’re compatible? Do the Kheare get to “choose” too, or nah?

Would the offspring of Kherae and a human be half and half? Or are Kherae genes really dominant? What’d the offsprings’ appearance be like? (I had read the post about monster and human offspring, and was wondering if the same lore applied to the aliens).

It was really fun to read the Kherae stories. And with the lore parts, it really hit me again of how scary men could be towards women because so much of what you beautifully wrote is plausible in reality, or already happens one way or another. Like the following would 100% happen if it became reality.

“When the Kherae came to Earth looking for human women to repopulate with, human men weren’t exactly thrilled and despite the alien's superior technology, wealth, and honestly, appearance, the men weren’t giving up…Human men, who committed most of the crime in the past were further and further ostracized from society as women were more and more occupied with the aliens…Most of the crime now were men protesting or causing other trouble with home grown terrorism attempts, trying to get some attention.”

It’s scary how a lot of men regardless of race, ethnicity, or nationality feel entitled to women. And you see this a lot in online incel communities and in far right groups that broadcast their messages. Women are property, and are a man’s right from the day they’re born.

This is a personal experience I had online and see occasionally, but I’ve had x race men feel specifically entitled to the women of same race, and become absolutely rabid when x race women date outside of their race. What’s even worse is that the men encourage racism themselves, and say, “You should try x race women because abc reasons.” Goes to show that women are also just trophies or are treated like some type of card collectible. It really is scary. This topic also resonates with me a lot because I’m from a culture/country that very much did NOT value females to the point laws had to be put in place to circumvent female infanticide. So you can imagine how my eyes pop into heart shapes whenever a man is written to love and respect women. It’s always funny but still terrifying that some groups of men complain about women leaving x group for literal better prospects, because it’s your groups fault for the poor treatment of women? As they say, reap what you sow.

So sorry for this ridiculous long send in. I just really loved your Kherae stories and I obviously needed to get this off my chest from rereading them again. <3

Thank you for all your thoughts! Your observations are so on point.

This is kind of a long answer 😅 but I hope I got everything, I answered your questions about the Kherae under the cut 👇🏾

TW: domestic violence

Sometimes I feel sad writing these stories. Even though they are fantasy there is a lot of reality and vulnerability folded in. I was reading something about the "women going their own way" phenomenon happening in different countries and I totally understand that. Abusive people will pretend to be nice and sweet for YEARS before they show their true colors. Why would I want to take a risk on a potentially controlling, abusive partner who will destroy everything I've built for myself when I can just hang out with my friends, read romance novels, walk my dog, and have peace of mind?

To your point, I hate the passport bros comments where they write little manifestos about how x race or ethnicity is more servile and feminine. It's a bizarre fantasy they've created to comfort themselves and justify their behavior. Like you said, there is a distinct intersection between racism and mysogyny, the racism creating another avenue to objectification.

I was reading something not too long ago about a counselor who worked at a prison dealing with domestic abusive men and he asked the men why they wouldn't stop being abusive and they all said, assuming you don't get caught, there is no downside to being abusive. You get your way, you force someone to serve you, and it's hard to be prosecuted. He was at a loss as to how to rehabilitate them because unlike substance abuse, for example, where you can point out how drugs or alcohol have ruined their lives, they have literally no reason to quit their abusive ways. Once they get out of jail, they can just find someone less likely to call the cops on them and do it all again.

I am personally in favor of rehabilitative justice, but I have no idea what to do with that. That put a lot of toxic behavior into perspective for me. You can scale that up to national laws and you can scale it down to guys on Twitter and the reality is always the same. There's no reason for them to try and change when abuse works for them. So maybe a lot of my writing is in response to that. It's nice to think about someone who uses their strength to support you, not tear you down, even if tearing you down is the easier, more profitable action.

My closest guess is that we need to cultivate a gentler world. Idk how you teach empathy, but as a society we've been dropping the ball on that. In all aspects of at least American culture we prioritize cruelty as a rule.

On a lighter note, to answer your questions:

1. The Kherae have been starved from romantic companionship most of their lives. At the the timeline I'm writing, most of them were little boys when the females were murdered, so they don't have much experience in it. That said they are enthusiastic and willing to try. They are fascinated with Earth for a number of reasons. One of them is that their planet is very monochrome. Most plants are some shade of purple and they evolved to match that environment (hence their skin tone). They love human gardens and gardening because there are SO MANY colors! A human can expect to receive bouquets, potted plants, and if he can, he'll be in your backyard planting things.

Since most of them were raised with no hope of a future, their elders taught them to exist in a constant state of orderly duty so that their society didn't fall apart. The general thought was "go into the darkness with dignity." If they did become extinct, they didn't want the universe to see their society fall into chaos before they disappeared. Because of that, most of them, deeply value respect. They can appear somewhat stoic at times, but they would never embarrass you in public and go to great lengths to protect your honor.

After the tragedy, the arts in Kherae society changed tone abruptly. There were many shrines and literary works mourning their loss. Slowly their culture became less and less interested in the arts as it seemed somewhat pointless and they were all very depressed. When they arrive to Earth and see the spectrum of art, music, and literature they are thrilled. Many of them are fascinated with human movies, love going to concerts, and art museums. They will take you on lots of culture dates. They adore museums, art shows, painting classes, movies, concerts...you'll never be bored if you like to go out.

One artistic pursuit that was not lost was dance. They are an athletic culture and great dancers. You can see them in clubs doing backflips and all sorts of crazy physical feats you would not expect these large aliens to be capable of.

2. When a human picks a Kherae there is a dating period for them to get to know one another and see if they are compatible. It's important to note that they believe in "fated mates." It's unclear if that mystical reality exists, but what's important is most of them deeply believe that it does. They interpret being chosen as fate, so they will do their very best to impress you. If more than one woman is interested in one Kherae he will be allowed to choose who he believes he is more compatible with. Despite how excited they are, they are happy to take a relationship slow. Their core values include loyalty and respect so they want humans to be very sure before they commit. When they first arrived, there were some broken hearts because humans are used to dating around and breakups being normal. Kherae want to choose a person they will be together forever and dating for fun not for a long term relationship is confusing for them.

3. When I first started writing about them, they had half and half children, some looking more like one parent than another, but many of them have skin slightly shaded purple and grow small horns and tails. So it is different from my monster fics.

---

I hope that answers everything 🙏🏾 I love your thoughts, they made me look at the stories from a different angle, which is cool 😎

#sweet asks #sweet anons #lore #oc lore #alien romance

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gnpwdrnwhiskey · 8 months

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Conversations with a Movie Star

Chapter 2- Free WiFi

Pairing- Dieter Bravo x ofc!Ava

Word Count- 2.1K-ish

Warnings- none really that I'm aware of? some foul language, some awkward conversation....mostly this chapter is just fluff & filler 🤷🏻‍♀️

Author's Note- big thanks to @wildemaven for putting up with me sending her chunks of this and asking if it's okay, lol, and to @trulybetty for all the baby hippos 🦛

Movement on the security monitor for the outer office catches Dieter's eye and he peels himself off the couch to get a closer look, mentally preparing himself to deal with a current guest or a new one.

What he's not prepared for is that cute reporter woman- Ava, he knows her name is Ava- to be behind the reservation desk apparently rifling through all the motel's paperwork.

It's not the first time she's been by the office, ringing the bell for assistance and then impatiently waiting for a few minutes before huffing off. If she'd ever noticed the camera in the corner, Dieter wouldn't have been at all surprised if she'd flipped it off before she left.

And Dieter's been hiding. Avoiding her. But this, this invasion of his privacy, is the last straw and he's about to fling open the inner office door and march out there and give her a piece of his mind when he realizes he's wearing the exact same thing he was wearing the last time he saw her and he refuses to let her think she's right about him- he has taken a shower in the last two days, thank you very much.

He shrugs off his robe and leaves it where it falls, grabbing a tee off the back of the couch and giving it a quick sniff before pulling it over his head and then searching for a pair of pants. All he finds are striped pajama bottoms but whatever, it's still a different outfit. And a mostly clean one at that.

He gives his hair a quick tousle - chicks seem to love that messy look- and there's not much he can do about his blood shot eyes on such short notice, but that's what his trusty Ray-Bans are for.

He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, gets his game face on and then he flings open the door.

Dieter's amused when Ava jumps at the sound of the door flying open and he can feel a smirk starting to inch itself across his face, one that quickly changes to a look of annoyance when she spins to face him and doesn't even have the decency to look guilty about being caught.

"Finally!" Ava exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air before letting them fall back down to her sides. "Have you just been hiding back there every time I've stopped by? You have, haven't you? Whatever, you're here now. Can you help me?"

"With your snooping?" Dieter snorts. "Not likely. What are you hoping to find? Tax records? STD test results? Love letters? Compromising photos?"

Now she just looks confused, head tilted and hands on her hips and Dieter's even more annoyed because here she is, busted rifling through his personal property and she really shouldn't look so fucking adorable. Looking at her big wide eyes makes him feel like he should apologize and he's not even the one in the wrong.

"Okay one, I'm not snooping. And two, I really wouldn't expect you to keep anything that sensitive somewhere so easily accessible to the public? And as glad as I am to know you get tested regularly, I'm really just trying--"

"To find what? What do you think you can sell to the highest bidder and make a quick buck or two off of? I swear all you people are the fucking same, just because some one is a goddamn celebrity doesn't mean they're not entitled to their fucking privacy and you just come in here--"

"Hey! Dumb Bunny!!" Ava yells, cutting off his tirade just when he was really getting warmed up to the subject. "I'm just looking for the password for the WiFi! It's not in my room anywhere and I need to do some work. Also, I'm not a gossip columnist. If I was gonna tell your secret, TMZ would've been here already."

"Oh. trashpanda75." Dieter answers automatically. That was not at all what he was expecting. "All one word, lowercase letters."

"Thank you," Ava nods. "It's been fun but let's not do this again, okay? And maybe consider hiring some front desk help, you could avoid future mishaps like this one where you falsely accuse your guests of spying on you."

She leaves the office with a wave and Dieter scrambles to follow her.

"Wait, Ava, wait- Dumb Bunny? What the fuck?"

"I gotta call you something," she shrugs. "And apparently we're pretending you aren't who you are so your name isn't an option. Same initials. I'll call you DB for short."

Well. He's been called worse things.

"Sorry about earlier. The WiFi works best from the office. Come by anytime. I have beer & I'll order pizza? -DB"

Ava pulls the note off the door and taps it against her lips as she lets herself into her room and ponders this turn of events. She wasn't expecting an apology. She was snooping a bit, not that she found anything interesting and she did feel a little guilty about lying to him, but is it really a lie if she's not planning on calling TMZ? The plan is to be long gone before she ever even publishes the first word about him.

The reporter in her is screaming for her to take any opportunity to find out more about him and how he ended up here, but the woman- the girl, really- who used to have a crush on him is a little more hesitant. Never meet your heroes and all that. And she's already met him. And she's not sure how she feels about it.

She digs her phone out of her back pocket and flops down on the bed, pulling up her brother's number. She needs the other half of her brain to figure this out.

"What now, Ava?" Drew says instead of hello and Ava smiles, her brother is a gem for putting up with her and she loves him so much for it.

"I've been invited to go hang out with the super famous, and still ridiculously cute, boy I had a crush on in highschool. Should I go?"

"We both already know you're going, so what do you want from me?"

"Do I look okay?" Ava holds her phone up and angled down so her brother can get a look at her outfit and Drew rolls his eyes.

"That's not much of an outfit. Do those shorts even cover your ass?"

"Mostly? Just stop being such a dad and tell me if I'm cute?"

"Why don't you have any female friends? Then you could bother them with this type of shit?"

"Because I was born with a built-in bestie. Not my fault you're a dumb boy. But back to me...."

"Ava, do you even know what you're doing here? Please do not sleep with a washed up movie star for the sake of a story."

"I didn't say I was going to sleep with him. I said I'm going to hang out. Apparently there will be pizza and beer."

"Then why does it matter if you're cute?"

"Ugh. You're right. I need a female. Where's Emma?"

"Soccer practice with the twins, then she has to pick up Harry at ballet."

"Then you'll have to do."

"Fine," Drew sighs. "Change the shorts, leave something to the imagination. And for God's sake, put on a bra!"

"I will do one of those things," Ava laughs. "Thanks bro, you're the best!! Smooches to everyone!"

Ava takes in the scene in front of her and holds in a laugh. Dieter Bravo. With a vacuum cleaner. Haphazard tracks in the carpet show he's missed just about as much of the room as he's cleaned but it's cute that he's making an effort. He's changed since she saw him this morning too. Just shorts and a worn faded tee but it's the first time she's seen him in something fit for the public.

She slips her phone from her pocket and snaps a quick picture and the movement must catch his eye because he cuts the machine off and grins at her.

"You know that's not actually a stain remover, right?" Ava asks, pointing from the vacuum to the spot on the carpet he'd been going over repeatedly when she'd arrived. "You need a shampooer. Completely different. There's probably one around here somewhere though."

"Yeah, probably. Maintenance room. I wouldn't know how to use it. Which is weird because I used to help out around here when I was a kid, you know? Earn my allowance or whatever," Dieter babbles. Is he really talking about vacuums and allowance? What the hell is wrong with him?

"Wait, you're like actually from here? Somehow that tidbit never made it in TeenBeat," Ava smiles. "We vacationed here a lot when we were younger. I used to think it would be so cool to live at the beach year round. Did you like it?"

"The beach? Yeah, mostly. The motel? Not particularly. But my grandparents owned it so I uh, I spent a lot of time here growing up," Dieter shrugs as he starts winding up the cord to the vacuum. No way is he getting into his whole shitty childhood story with her. "You said you have some work to do?"

Ava blinks at the abrupt subject change and takes a step back from the doorway to the inner office. Maybe she misread the whole situation? Hell, maybe his dumb ass left the note on the wrong damn door and she shouldn't even be here.

"Oh. Yeah. Job hunting really. But it kinda seems like I'm bothering you? So I can just sit out here?" Ava gestures behind herself to the reservation desk. "Give me like half an hour and I'll get out of your hair."

"I know you really don't have the room for like a business center or anything, but if you got the continental breakfast going again," Ava continues talking even as she turns away from the office and drops her messenger bag on the reservation desk. "Put in some two top tables, it would give people the option to get some work done. Or not. I mean, probably not the clientele you're catering to. What do I know?"

"You're not bothering me and what do you mean get the continental breakfast going again? That's still a thing, right? I mean, that was a thing Anika did. I think?"

"Anika? That was the blonde?"

"Yeah," Dieter nods. "She was doing all the day-to-day stuff. Or all the stuff really, I was just, you know, signing the checks."

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but there's like four rotten bananas and half a blueberry muffin over there, no one's eating that shit."

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Dieter mutters, dragging a chair out of the back office and sitting down next to her at the desk.

"I've noticed. I can help. While I'm here. If you want," Ava shrugs. "I've never worked at a motel, but I've stayed at plenty."

"What's in it for you?"

"You comp the rest of my stay?" Ava grins. "And I think you mentioned pizza? That's a good start."

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x ofc #dieter bravo x ofc!Ava #dieter bravo fanfic #cwams #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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half-oz-eddie · 9 months

Text

Stargazing At Harrington’s 🌌

tw for abuse, slurs

On Steve’s way home, he’d driven past Hargrove’s parked Camaro, thinking nothing of it. Billy hated him, and he wasn’t too fond of the asshole himself.

They hadn’t spoken, or even looked at one another since that fight at the Byers’ house. So why would the thought of passing by Billy’s parked Camaro linger in his mind as more than a mere observation?

Steve parked in his driveway and walked through his door. Working at a new job his father pressured him to take had him coming home later and later, but his parents were home less and less. What was the point of trying to please a man he hardly ever saw?

It was always a business trip, or a vacation, or whatever kept them away from Hawkins and away from Steve, their sorry excuse for a son. The embarrassment to the Harrington name because he barely graduated and refused to go to college. His parents saw him as entitled—a brat who expected a free ride.

So they made him work for everything…except his car, the house, food, and other “essential expenses” but the luxury items were on Steve.

Steve didn’t want luxury items, or a free ride. He wanted to feel less lonely.

Anyway. It was late. Nearly midnight. No time to worry about pointless things.

He stepped into the living room and through the blinds covering the glass windows, he could see someone lying in his patio chair.

“The hell is that?” He mumbled to himself, reaching over to grab a baseball bat.

He stepped out near the pool, quickly learning that the uninvited guest was Billy Hargrove. Did that son of a bitch really park his Camaro a mile away and walk to his house? Why?

“What do you want, Billy? It’s late. I’m not in the mood for a fight.”

Billy didn’t respond as he continued to stare at the sky.

“Hello? Why are you here?”

Billy lazily glanced over, his eyes glossy and bruised, his lip busted.

“Jesus, you get into a fight?”

“No.” Billy softly responded, his gaze returning to the sky.

“No? Okay, well…why’d you come here?”

“Cause nobody’s ever here.”

“I’m here! I live here!”

“I know.”

Steve let out an annoyed sigh. “I’m not staying out here to entertain you. I’m going in and locking my door. It’s late and I’m tired.”

“Didn’t expect you to come outside anyway.”

Steve turned away with a scoff and headed back inside. He glanced back out at Billy as he continued to stare up at the sky, before heading upstairs and going to bed.

✨-

Steve woke up early for work, slapping his alarm clock onto the floor.

He sat up with a groan, vaguely remembering his exchange with Billy last night.

“Why was he here? Why’d he come to my house, of all places?” Steve wondered.

He went downstairs, hardly surprised that Billy was gone, no evidence of him ever being there. Was he actually there? Steve didn’t dream all of that, right? It was pretty late, but no, couldn’t have been a dream.

Doesn’t matter. He’s not here anymore.

✨-

Steve continued on about his week, leaving early, coming in late, not even thinking about Billy at all.

Until he returned home to find Billy by his pool once again, staring at the sky, smoking a cigarette.

“You again?” He questioned as he walked towards Billy. “Why’d you come back?”

Billy blew out the smoke, refusing to answer Steve’s questions.

Steve scoffed. “I don’t get it. Why here, of all places?”

“Where else?”

“Where el—the hell do you mean ‘where else?’ Why do you keep coming back to my house?”

Billy lazily shrugged.

Again, like last time, it was late. Steve wasn’t going to bother.

As he turned to head back inside, he got a sudden chill. The weather was changing and it was getting colder.

All Billy had on was a jacket and no shirt.

Sure, maybe he was trying to look cool, but…he also didn’t have shoes on.

That was strange.

“Where’re your shoes?”

“Ain’t got ‘em.”

“You came here without shoes? You parked like a mile away!”

“So?”

“If you’re gonna keep trespassing on my property, the least you can do is answer my questions!”

Billy tilted his head down to look at Steve, the black eyes hardly faded, and a new scratch on Billy’s cheek joined them.

“No one would look for me here.”

“Why would anyone come looking for you? Are you in trouble?”

“I’m always in trouble, Harrington. I could breathe wrong and I’ll get punched.”

“By who?”

Billy looked back toward the sky.

“…Your dad?” Steve cautiously assumed.

Billy gave a simple nod. “I’ll be gone before you even wake up.” He promised, just as he did last time.

“You…sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine. Just wanna be alone and look at the stars.”

“Okay. Just…knock if you…need something.”

“I won’t.”

He didn’t.

Steve spent the next few days thinking about Billy far more than he used to. A passing thought became a constant, and each night on his way home from work, he’d keep an eye out for Billy’s parked Camaro, but he hadn’t seen it.

Nearly a month passed, and this time, Billy’s Camaro was parked closer to Steve’s house.

Steve assumed Billy was more comfortable, now that he knew Steve wasn’t going to send him away, so he went around back and straight to the pool.

Billy was looking up at the sky, his hand shaky as he brought a cigarette to and from his lips, before he eventually left it in his mouth, and his hand collapsed at his side.

“Back again, huh?”

Billy stared at the sky, breathing heavily, his body trembling.

“What happened this time?”

“’M tired. Can’t take this anymore.”

Steve sighed. Billy was so weak and pitiful, unlike the Billy he knew. He couldn’t help but show him sympathy. “Why don’t you come inside?”

“I shouldn’t—“

“How come? You’ve been here enough times for me to invite you in. At this point, I’m just being an asshole. And it’s way colder than it was the first 2 times you came by. If you freeze to death, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

“I can’t come inside, Harrington.”

“Why?”

“Because I…can’t move." He shakily exhaled. "I’m in too much pain now.”

“Let me help you inside. I’ve got aspirin. I’m sure the cold is making the pain feel worse.”

“You sure you’re not gonna toss me in the pool?”

“You’ll freeze to death if I do that. I’m not a homicidal maniac!” Steve argued indignantly.

“Hmph. Whatever you say.”

Steve crouched down and draped Billy’s arm over his shoulder, slowly lifting him as he stood.

“Ah, shit.” Billy hissed in pain.

“Sorry, sorry.” Steve sighed. “This might not work. I’m gonna have to carry you.”

“No. I’m not some bitch.”

“I didn’t say you were. But it’s late and I’m—“

“Tired. Yeah. I get it.”

“So let’s just get you inside where it’s warm and we can both get some shut eye, yeah?”

“Okay.”

They each groaned as Steve carefully lifted Billy. One struggled and one pained as Steve made his way inside with Billy in his arms. He carefully set him down on the couch.

“It’s probably inconvenient if I take you upstairs so…hope this is okay for now.”

“It’s better than sleeping outside in your lounge chairs.”

“Sleep—you were sleeping outside all night?!”

“Yeah. I’d leave around 5, go home, change and nap in my car until my shift.”

“God, that really sucks.”

“It won’t be for much longer. I’ve almost got enough to go back to California and never step foot in this town again.”

“The point is to just…survive for now, right?”

Billy weakly nodded.

“How do you plan on getting to work tomorrow? You can’t even move.”

“Just need a little rest.”

“I’m off tomorrow. Take the day off, sleep in and we’ll figure it out from there.”

“Can’t. I can’t lose a whole day’s pay.”

“How the hell are you supposed to work if you can’t even lift your arm?”

“I just—I dunno—I gotta try.”

“For now. Sleep.”

“Okay. Just for now.”

For now turned into for hours, for days, and Billy had been staying with Steve for 9 days before he started sleeping upstairs.

First, he was in the spare bedroom, then he was in Steve’s room after an accidentally-on-purpose drunken kiss at 2:30 in the morning.

Then they came full circle and were out by the pool together on a cold evening.

“I like looking at the stars. When I was a kid, I used to wish I was a star.”

“How come? You always dream of being in space?”

“No. I kinda wanted to explode.”

“What?” Steve narrowed his eyes.

“Not literally. Just...figuratively. I was always so fucking angry and I could never express it. Only fags have feelings, according to my dad.”

“That’s bullshit. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He dismissed. “Hey, about that kiss the other night. It was an accident.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“It was!”

“It wasn’t. You kissed me, then said “this isn’t an accident” and then you kissed me again!”

“I was drunk!”

“So you…don’t wanna kiss me again?”

“I—“

“You just occupying space in my bed for warmth? For comfort? What?”

“I dunno! Okay! This has been weird! You let me in, I haven’t left, you never make me feel like I’m overstaying my welcome. I-I got emotional, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow. For good.”

“Already?”

“I gotta get out of here before this becomes any more confusing.”

“So now you’re running from me too. Was it that bad?”

“No. It wasn’t bad it’s just—I don’t wanna get attached to you. We don’t even get along.”

“We’ve been getting along just fine—“

“I’ll be gone before you wake up.” He told Steve, just like he used to say before.

“...If that’s what you want.”

The next morning, Steve woke up long before his alarm, hoping to see Billy one last time, but all that was left on the empty side of the bed was a note.

“See you around, pretty boy.”

"No. He can't do this." Steve rushed to his window, hoping it wasn’t too late. Billy’s car was still parked outside. He had to stop him.

Steve ran downstairs and swung the door open, standing out in the driveway, blocking Billy’s car.

“Harrington? What the hell are you doing?!”

“Don’t leave.”

“What?”

“Don’t leave. I’m serious.”

“Why the hell not?”

“If you leave, I’ll never be able to let you go. If you stay, I’ll never be able to let you go. You’ve got me stuck, Billy. Don’t do this to me.”

“Get out of the way, Steve. Or I’ll run you over.”

“Would you really do that?”

“I don’t want to, but I will if I have to.”

“Listen!" Steve doubled down, placing his hands on the hood of the car. "I get running away from your dad, but why me too?”

“Because all of this just happened! You want me to bank my whole life on a two week whirlwind?”

“You’re already here! Just stay, okay? For a little while, and if you hate me that much, you can leave and I won’t hold it against you. But if you leave before we can see where this goes, I’ll never forgive you. And I’ll never forgive myself for not trying.”

Billy defeatedly sighed and got out of his Camaro. “Let’s get you in the house. The hell’s the matter with you? Coming out here in your underwear.”

“I had to stop you.”

Billy chuckled. “Proud of yourself?”

“Very.”

✨-

Steve was afraid that Billy would still leave, so he was hardly able to fall back asleep, constantly waking up and making sure he hadn’t left his side.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He reassured. “If I was gonna leave, I would’ve left before.”

“I just don’t want you to go. I'll worry about you...sleeping by someone else's pool or something.”

Billy laughed as he pulled Steve into his arms. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He was there all the mornings when Steve woke up from then on. It wasn’t long before they’d fallen in love, had sex for the first time, and made future plans to get out of that dreadful cycle of Hawkins together.

(Dedicating this little drabble to @intothedysphoria. I hope you feel better soon!)

Read on AO3

#billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #harringrove fanfiction #abuse cw #slurs cw #ivy.doc

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jedimaesteryoda · 3 months

Text

"Petyr Baelish loved me once. He was only a boy. His passion was a tragedy for all of us, but it was real, and pure, and nothing to be made mock of. He wanted my hand. That is the truth of the matter. You are truly an evil man, Lannister." -AGOT, Tyrion IV

Catelyn looks at Petyr's feelings for her, and tries to convince herself that it was just a kid's crush, missing that it was something darker and more problematic. He challenged her betrothed Brandon to a duel for her hand. Note, he didn't even bother to ask Catelyn herself for her hand, let alone what she wanted, he just went and challenged Brandon for her hand as if she were a prize to be won. He also didn't take the hint when he asked for her favor and gave it to Brandon instead. Petyr himself believes he loved Cat, but in truth, he didn't actually love her, he confused infatuation and obsession with romantic love. Actual love is exemplified by Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice: "If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are not changed, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever." Darcy made it clear to Elizabeth that if she didn't want to be with him, he would respect that. That is love, it involves respect for the other person and treating them as an equal, even if their choices and wishes are not in line with yours.

Rather than love, Littlefinger's attitude is more male entitlement, being possessive and treating Catelyn as his property. He also plots her family's downfall in part due to being denied her.

"I used to dream of it, in those years after Cat went north with Eddard Stark. In my dreams it was ever a dark place, and cold."

He even liked to think of Winterfell as a cold, dark place, because he wanted Catelyn to be miserable in her marriage to Ned. He didn't wish her to find happiness, because he didn't want to imagine the possibility of her being happy with someone else. The only image of her being happy had to include him, which speaks to his vindictiveness and selfishness.

He repeats it with her daughter Sansa. Cersei remembers "Petyr Baelish had offered to wed the girl himself, she recalled, but of course that was impossible; he was much too lowborn," to which Petyr saw as a reliving of his past of Cat's hand being denied to him over his lowborn status. He reacted with the same vindictiveness, manipulating Joffrey into beheading Ned to screw Cersei despite knowing it would clearly hurt Sansa. He brought Sansa to the Vale where she is effectively his prisoner as she has nowhere else to go and nor will he let her. It's exactly the kind of relationship dynamic he wanted with Cat: one where he has all the power and control in the relationship and she is compliant, serving at his side and being the object of his desires, unable to reject his advances.

Littlefinger for all his purported genius, has a pattern of recklessness when dealing with Tully/Stark girls. He challenged a more experienced and stronger fighter to a duel for Cat's hand, and forces a kiss on Sansa in the godswood where Lysa sees. He also wasn't the lovesick romantic Cat hoped he was, but an entitled, vindictive abuser who only wants a relationship where his desires are the only ones that matter and he has the power.

But like with Cat, he will learn that women often have desires and wishes of their own. He won't win over Sansa any more than he could her mother.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #petyr baelish #catelyn tully #catelyn stark #littlefinger

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niabang · 5 months

Text

The Summer it Came True

Pairing: Bangchan × black female reader named Kel

Summary: You loved him, and you never got to tell him, but now he's back.

It had been about 13 years since Chan left Australia to Korea to pursue his dreams of being a K-pop idol. He left the day you wanted to tell him how you felt about him. You woke up and got ready to see him only to realise that he was gone. He left just like that, no explanation, no call, no text, not even a letter. He was just gone.

You had no idea what he left for, and you received a rude awakening when you saw him performing with a couple of other boys on stage on TV after years of not having a trace of him. You already forgot about him (you didn't), so why did he have to show up now? Why was he even more handsome than before, and more importantly, why was he coming back to Australia?

You thought you had gotten over him but why did you still have feelings for him?

Disclamer: this work is from my imagination and it does not reflect the artist's behaviour in anyway. It's fiction so a lot of things may be a tad bit unrealistic lol. I will be posting this in parts/chapters. Chan is still an idol in this but I kind of left out the outside/idol world in this fic.

A/N: The first few chapters may seem kind of boring, but y'all have to stick with me, okay? I wanted to make this kind of slow burn, so if you stick with me for long enough, the story gets more interesting and a little spicy as we go along. i promise ♡.

Genres: Romance, fluff

Chapter 1

Word Count: 800

It was almost summer, meaning it was time for you to start getting ready to move into the beach house that your parents left you before they died. You were an only child, so everything they owned automatically became yours, they died when you were legal so you had no issues with the law on acquiring the properties including the million dollar clothing industry they left you.

How did you deal with your parents dying in a car crash and becoming the ceo of a company overnight at the age of 20? People tend to ask. The answer is: you don't know. You're 26 now, 6 years seemed to fly by like days, and you became more and more invested in the company, you grew to love it. You had no time for a lot of friends or romance as you were always working.

Maybe you didn't have time for romance because my heart still belonged to him. Your heart still belonged to Chan, the boy who vanished into thin air the day you wanted to confess your feelings for him. Call it an obsession. It probably was, but you hadn't been able to get him out of your head for years now, and you didn't know why.

Every time you thought about that day, you almost got tears in your eyes. You were only 13. He was your first love. How could he just leave like that without telling you anything?

Then you realised. He didn't owe you anything. Hell, you barely even spoke. Why did you feel so entitled? You guys were acquaintances at best. The last time you remember having an actual conversation with him was when your two families met on the beach one summer when you were twelve, and you were both forced to play together.

Other than that, it was just a simple "hey" or a wave every time you saw each other in school or in the neighbourhood. You weren't exactly the best of friends. You just had this embarrassingly huge crush on this man who probably didn't even remember your name.

You were supposed to be packing up your things to leave the suburbs of Sydney to your house on the beachside where you would take a break from the office while still working but this time with the serenity of an ocean view and the calming sound of the ocean waves. You were really looking forward to it.

For some reason, you weren't really in the mood to get packing, so you jumped on your bed and tuned the TV to an entertainment channel, and that was when you received the biggest shock of your life.

It was HIM. He was right there on your screen. The boy - wait, he was a man now. The man you couldn't shake off your heart and your mind was right there on your screen after twelve years of disappearing, and he was as beautiful as ever...

...

After getting over the shock of your life that day, you did a little research, and you found out that he was a K-pop idol in an eight member band called "Stray Kids" what a weird name you thought to yourself but they were a pretty big deal. They were superstars. You weren't surprised. Chan had a really amazing voice that you never got to compliment him on, and you knew he would end up pursuing what he loved one way or the other.

As if the shock of seeing him on stage performing with seven other men wasn't enough, they announced their first World tour, and the third stop was Sydney. HE WAS COMING HERE? HE WAS COMING BACK? You almost lost your mind for a few minutes.

Wait, why did you even bother? He was a famous celebrity now. He definitely didn't remember or care about the girl he built sandcastles at the beach with thirteen years ago. He probably had all the girls wrapped around his finger. He probably took multiple girls home every night. Bold of you to assume you'd be on his mind.

It was honestly pathetic for you to still think about him the way you did but you just couldn't get over him, his eyes that closed up whenever he smiled, his mouth corner dimples, his beautiful smile, his big beautiful nose, his contagious laugh that sounded like he was in need of air, the way he would always carry things for the female teachers at school, the way he always made sure ladies went first before he did and the way he donated blood to the hospital every once in a while. He was perfect but not for you. You had to forget about him.

You had to do it before he came back.

Next chapter

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #bang chan #bangchan fluff #bangchan fanfic #fluff #kpop #kpop tumblr #tooth rotting fluff #romance #soft hours #slow burn #black kpop stans #black kpop fans #The Summer it Came True #angst

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starleska · 1 year

Note

I just saw on YouTube that MatPat has made a GTLive about Welcome Home.

I’m honestly conflicted. On the one hand, I am genuinely happy that a big YouTuber like MatPat has noticed Welcome Home, as I do love his theories on occasion.

But I’m also worried. After everything Clown has been through with the sudden rush of a massive following, and also me knowing how MatPat’s very large fan base can be VERY zealous, I’m genuinely worried for Clown. I know they’re going through a lot and are currently on a well deserved hiatus, but I do have the sudden thought that the prospect of MatPat’s fan base getting too zealous may end up doing harm in the long term for them. They have done that before on other things.

And that’s not even getting into MatPat potentially making a theory video about Welcome Home when the project hasn’t yet left the Prologue Stage of its story, which may end up again doing harm.

I wonder what your opinion on all of this may be. What do you think of MatPat covering this potentially as a theory and do you worry about his fan base becoming zealous for Welcome Home?

hello sweetheart! thank you so much for sending in this ask, and for putting your thoughts down in such a respectful manner - very well articulated 💖 i'm going to pop my response under a read more, as i feel it deserves a good chunk of text for a reply.

and if you're a new Welcome Home fan - welcome to the fandom! 🥰 here's a simple guide i wrote which explains what Welcome Home is, where the story is taking place, and how you can support the creator.

okay, here we go! ✨

first of all, i understand why you're concerned. this explosive growth has been tough for Clown - and having caught the edge of the tidal wave of attention just for Welcome Home fanworks, i don't blame them for being so stressed! no one could've predicted Welcome Home would blow up so much, although it is a testament to Clown's artistic talent and skill 🔥

here's the thing: fandom isn't something you can control. i feel that even though this concern comes from a good place, we may be sliding a little too close to gatekeeping territory, and that isn't fair. i totally get what you're saying about the overzealous part, but i don't believe there's anything inherent about being a fan of MatPat's content which would cause someone to behave in a disrespectful, boundary-overstepping manner. let's be clear: we are not inherently more deserving of enjoying Welcome Home just because we discovered it earlier, or any other trait that would separate the earlier fandom from a new influx of fans from MatPat.

again, i sympathise with your perspective. i was an old MatPat fan myself: a real creepypasta-obsessed teen who discovered all sorts of cool fandoms through him and other channels! but i don't think Welcome Home being covered by MatPat means there's a higher risk of harm, or that those fans in particular are more likely to exhibit inappropriate behaviour. i worry about fandoms which, when trying to make sure everyone is being respectful, end up creating an us vs. them mentality...and there's nothing i dislike more than fans who believe they're more entitled to enjoy media more for artificial reasons, like if they discovered it earlier, or know more about the property, or engage in fandom the 'correct' way (whatever that means) 😕

i think that just because Clown is (very understandably!) stressed and needs time to adjust, doesn't mean we should try and halt the popularity of Welcome Home - which would be both unfair and impossible. there's no criteria for whether or not someone can be a fan - all that is to be expected is that they are respectful and kind. we should continue as always: being respectful, and echoing Clown's wishes. i think we should welcome all these new fans and show them a great time! and if a fan does do something harmful, we shouldn't attack them; instead, we should let them know why that's not okay, and not assume everyone is out to do harm. ignorance isn't always out of malice, and many of us discussing this issue have the luxury of being older, and having had our younger years in fandom under much less scrutiny. perhaps there's this lingering anxiety due to the claims of fans doxxing/hacking, which Clown has since debunked as being odd fandom rumours.

ultimately, Clown put Welcome Home out into the world for other people to enjoy. MatPat is allowed to make theories on Welcome Home, and his fans are allowed to enjoy it too. this is the same as an unknown video game being covered by Markiplier, or a similar property being picked up by the nerdcore music community. yes, it's likely MatPat's fans may be on the younger side, and perhaps inexperienced with fandom etiquette or boundaries. however, this is a generalisation! i feel perhaps this anxiety with new fans coming in has something to do with our own overzealousness, and how in the early days we began making fanworks/interacting with Clown's content in ways which he's since stated he's not comfortable with 💖

at the end of the day: whether we're 13 or 55; whether we compile large documents full of information about the Welcome Home story or write gushing posts about how cute Wally Darling is; whether we've known Clown's work for years or are just discovering it today - we're all fans, and we all deserve to be here. being zealous is what fandom is all about! the best thing we can do is just keep on putting out positive energy, and encouraging all of that lovely, budding excitement. let's keep helping new fans learn about the amazing story of Welcome Home, and making them feel welcome too 🥰

#i hope this answers your question anon!! 💖#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home discussion #starleskatalks #starleskasks

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thedreadvampy · 5 months

Text

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment.#we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious.#like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe.#but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats)#and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills.#we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home!#and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

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