HPD culture is loving the HPD flag!! look at it. it's so pretty

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Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE PERCEIVE MEEEE!!!

Also me: Why the fuck would you talk to me?? Can’t you see I’m BUSY doing NOTHING. You are WASTING my time.

can we talk about the darker parts of attention seeking in hpd? not just dressing up and being flirty.

let's talk about compulsively lying

let's talk about compulsively lying so much that you're not even sure if what you say is true or not

let's talk about wishing you were injured or ill for the attention

let's talk about faking injuries or illness

let's talk about purposefully injuring yourself

let's talk about putting yourself in dangerous situations by talking to sketchy people

let's talk about not knowing how to say no to those people

let's talk about involuntary trauma dumping

let's talk about socially ostracizing yourself by acting in an inappropriate way for the temporary rush of attention it gives you

let's talk about questioning your own personality, values, and morals because they get so easily shaped by whoever you're around

let's talk about how easily manipulated people with hpd are

let's talk about how easily abused people with hpd are

let's talk about vulnerable people with hpd are

let's stop this dichotomy of demonizing or romanticizing/fetishizing hpd

Histrionic Splitting and What It Means

Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by attention seeking and excessive emotionality. There are 8 dsm-5 symptoms-all of which can be viewed here.

I want to focus mainly on symptoms one, three, five, and eight-but don’t get me wrong, all of these are a factor in HPD splitting.

Let’s talk about splits that are histrio highs first. If a histrionic splits, it may induce a histrio high or a histrio crash. If one has a split that becomes a histrio high, it may look like:

Extreme euphoric behavior, causing one to act out

Very very easily suggestible

Hyper sexual behavior

Extravagant appearances

Not internally feeling anything at all, not even happiness

Extremely impressionistic and/or vague speech, may manifest as lying

Believing everyone is a friend

Sometimes, however, histrionic splits are histrio crashes. This can look like:

Erratic and unusual behavior and expression of emotions (to draw attention)

Will harm themselves or others in some way to achieve attention

Either hypo sexual or allowing of objectification

More time spent on appearances

Internally only feeling dysphoria with no other emotions whatsoever

Very vague speech

Believing even those unknown are betraying at the moment

I don’t really have anything else to add onto this, since this is an awareness post. But yeah, thank you all for reading.

My favorite fucking thing (/sarcasm) is "NPD, BPD, ASPD, and any other cluster B disorders" like. Dude just say HPD it's not a fucking slur 😭 I'd get it if there were like 1000 but there's four it's not that much effort 😭😭😭

My hpd is directly tied to the feminine part of my gender identity. My sense of fashion is directly tied to my hpd and npd. The talents and hobbies I've picked up over the years are most often tied to my npd. People always talk about all the negatives of mental disorders, how mental disorders are not a part of you, how they are entirely separate and there is nothing good that ever comes of them. But how is my mental illness not tied to me when so many things good AND bad have come of it? Why do I have to be upset that I have a mental illness? This is the way I work, my disorders are ingrained into my very being, I wouldn't be me without them. They are just as much part of my personality as everything else. I am allowed to celebrate the positive aspects of it and be okay with and proud of being mentally ill.

hey!! my cluster b siblings!! i see you.

i see you trying your very hardest to provide support for people who you might feel nothing but apathy/mild annoyance towards. i see you trying to maintain relationships no matter how hard it is for you i see you trying your very hardest to be civil. and i see you, even if you cannot or don't want to do any of that. i see you doing what you need to to get through your days. i see you spending all your energy on trying to appeal to a group of people who seem to hate us no matter what we do. i see you and i love you. i know that it is so hard. not only are you dealing with your own internal struggles but youre dealing with years and years of demonisation, years of being called abusive when you retaliate. i know youre tired, and i love you. i love you when you take a moment for yourself. i love you when you give yourself a break, stop pretending to do things you cant, to give yourself a moment to breathe. i love you when you do things people deem 'irresponsible', 'abusive', 'evil' because its what you have to to survive. i love you, because you are trying your hardest and you deserve love and respect no matter what.

PD gang where you at

this meme has been made to express my fluctuation on how i feel abt my need for attention don’t be a clown please

honestly i wish people would just talk more about how like. exhausting HPD can be. (this may also apply in part to NPD as well, as after writing this it kinda sounds like a mix of our HPD and NPD symptoms.)

my brain is 100% of the time, 24/7, non-fucking-stop trying to figure out how to make things about me or trying to figure out how to twist a conversation to be about me. it is just about as exhausting as it sounds and even more exhausting to resist lest i sound like a self-absorbed jackass to people who don't know about or understand my PD(s).

i understand objectively my friends care about me, i understand objectively them not giving me 100% of their attention 100% of the time and not making every conversation about me exclusively doesn't mean they don't care about me or love me, but that's how my brain reacts to it. i feel rejected and worthless and and stupid for wanting their attention in the first place when i fail at attempting to twist a conversation towards me.

this kind of shit especially amps up when people are venting to me, like i have other problems with empathy and venting due to my other PDs and past trauma, but the constant "i don't care. we should be talking about me. i want to talk about me. i should purposefully trigger myself into a breakdown after this so you'll pay attention to me" in the back of my head makes me want to fucking scream.

speaking of that quote by the way, yes, i will literally purposefully put myself in states of active distress and disarray because i know my friends will pay attention to me when i do it. i don't fake breakdowns, the breakdowns are very real, but i very much did it on purpose.

yes i know that's toxic as fuck, i don't like it either! i am working on healthier ways to ask for attention when i need it but this is the fucking disorder at work! it's exhausting! it is so fucking exhausting to be like this all the time. it feels like no amount of attention is ever going to be good enough for me, like i'm going to spend every day until i fucking die just trying to make it feel like enough and trying to fill some fucking void and it'll just never be good enough.

i'll never run away from the harm my symptoms possibly cause other people, i know being hyperaware of how my brain works and it's affinity for attention can be anxiety inducing for some of my friends, but it's just so fucking exhausting. you get a break from me, i don't. i could be talking to literally no one, i could be watching a fucking video, and my brain would somehow still be trying to make that video about me. i just want a break from my brain. constantly trying to do this shit means it's constantly on high alert and that's just one reason of many that it is. i just want it to stop.

BPD culture is “leave me. leave me. please. it’s what i want (it’ll be better for you) please please just leave” self destruction

HPD + BPD culture is if you don’t love me sexually, do you really love me at all?

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HPD culture is pushing yourself past your limits just so you can make a big deal out of having to recover and so people will be worried for you

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So just to be clear, I get irritated and lonely when isolated, feel irritated and lonely around others, rely on positive feedback for my self esteem but also reject everything that makes relationships function positively, require mountains of independence but get mad when people aren’t helping me, and can’t handle being unable to control everything despite having deep fantasies about creating out of control situations for a dose of satisfaction??? okaay well then,,, i don’t know what to tell me

to everyone who has ever faked an illness, injury, or disorder for attention: i love you.

i know you didnt have bad intentions. i know you probably didn't even know what your intentions were. i know you likely do have some type of mental illness. and i know it makes you need attention, or that you feel like you need to have something worse to be valid. i know you just want someone to see you. i see you. you are seen and you are loved. you are not evil. you are not defined by your actions. you will recover from the consequences you may have faced for what you faked. you will find new, better ways to cope. you will be okay.

I’ve seen too god damn many “cluster B” posts discussing and respecting every cluster B disorder except HPD so here’s a friendly reminder to my fellow cluster and who don’t have HPD

pwHPD are cluster B just like you

pwHPD do not simply have “modern day female hysteria”

HPD is also a trauma disorder

Yes we face different types of ableism then pwNPD, pwBPD, and pwASPD. That doesn’t mean we don’t face ableism. pwASPD face different ableism than other cluster Bs. pwNPD face different ableism than other cluster Bs. pwBPD face different ableism than other cluster Bs. Doesn’t mean they don’t experience ableism.

So why are we left out of cluster b conversations?

Me: *has the most mentally ill thought in ever*

Me, right after: im totally neurotypical btw 🤙

it hurts going online and trying to find ways to help yourself with your pd and just seeing a bunch of articles talking about how to help other people deal with YOU how to starve YOU of your needs how to ignore YOU

i just want to find ways to help myself and voice my needs properly with my npd and hpd, but all i am getting is page after page of how to deal with people like me. how to make people like me have a narc drop. how to ignore people like me. how to change people like me. how to get rid of people like me.

what about me helping me? why do people think we are incapable of change? we can be self aware. we can want to change. we can want to help ourselves. we arent bad people for having a disorder.