#because she and Oedipus have a good thing going
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You're doomed--may you never fathom who you are!
Oedipus Tyrannus, lines 1167-1173 (tr. Robert Fagles)
#qin su#jin guangyao#this play isn't even really about the incest! it's about the nature of fate and the cost of truth!!#because Oedipus doomed himself years before the play even started by trying to AVOID his fate#and dooms himself a second time with his well-intended pursuit of the truth because he cannot handle what he learns#meanwhile a critical choice that Jocasta's actor gets to make is when SHE finds out#is it somewhat earlier in the play? or is it before the play even begins?#because she and Oedipus have a good thing going#given the typical first-marriage age for girls Oedipus and Jocasta likely have the same or LESS of a gap than she did with Laius#and so you can absolutely play it as her knowing but not wanting to mess things up#sorry for the tag wall but ppl have such misconceptions about this play I need you to know why it workssss#thank u for coming to my Oed Talk
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you cant just threaten me with narrative parallels to big boss and not deliver. i need this
AHEHEHEE....( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Ive spent all noon going insane over char and ive listened 3 times to beyond the time, so you chose the perfect time for this.... Okay. so basically,
meme comic aside, here's a more structured and elaborated version of these points, taken from something that I wrote in my notes app at 2 am, plus some other points. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Im not good at putting my thoughts into words.
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-they are both soldiers who end up being idolized and turned into a symbol. this idolization makes people want them to be in a position of leadership.
-being better known for their nom de guerre, "the red comet/char aznable" (which also counts as this, since it's a fake name tied to his identity in the one-year war) and "big boss", adds to this idealization, and with it also comes depersonalization, as their identity becomes just an image of a war hero that exists in peoples heads. a legend, rather than a real person.
-the artificiality of this legend is brought home in the way that it is taken, replicated, and put into other people, showing that anyone can be "the red comet" or "big boss". that's right baby. clones! Be it The Patriots making supersoldier clones of big boss for war purposes or Sunrise making Char after Char for anime purposes. But Char does also have actual in-universe clones???
-And also phantoms... the much clearer example of the artificiality of these legends/identities. I don't know anything abt Gundam Unicorn and so the only things I know abt Full Frontal are from the wiki. but he's just Venom Snake. Hey, what if we took this random guy and altered his appearance and mind to be the red comet/big boss?
-Okay its time to talk about The Boss and Zeon Deikun. Their deaths turn them both into symbols that represent the ideals that they preached. Ideals that everyone else takes and misinterprets for their own purposes. Their deaths also kickstart Big Boss and Char´s...everything. In a way, both Big Boss and Char dedicate their lives fighting for the ideals that their mother/father represented. Are they any good at this? Or are they yet another person taking these ideals and twisting them beyond recognition? Let´s say that´s up for debate.
-"So both Char and Big Boss ended up being idolized just like The Boss and Zeon Deikun? Even though it's something that they did not want and tried to avoid?" YES! Unavoidable fate. Repeating mistakes of the past...Sins of the Father... one of the key themes of Metal Gear. THE theme of metal gear. Big Boss more consciously tried to avoid the fate of The Boss by leaving the US military and hated being seen as a hero/called Big Boss because of The Boss. Char never outright states that the reason he does not want leadership is because he does not want to suffer his father´s fate...but his choice of accepting leadership is tied into his father´s fate nonetheless, with "Maybe human sacrifices run in your family" and Char casting himself as that human sacrifice in Char´s Counterattack. Is the reason as to why thinking about Char makes me so insane because his narrative of not being able to escape his father´s shadow taps into one of Metal Gears main themes? who knows...
-I said that Char´s "The Boss" figure is Zeon Deikun...but I think Lalah is the emotional aspect of this. She is the more clear Mother Figure whose death scars and haunts Char the way The Boss haunts Big Boss. Yes, Char also lost his real mom when young but shes not as important as Lalah.
-They just miss their mom bro :(
-cue millions of jokes about Oedipus complexes (more prevalent in the gundam fandom. for some reason.)...not gonna comment on this but they are there. and I can't ignore it if I'm talking abt comparisons between them.
-Okay, mothers/fathers talk aside. Their relationship to war and conflict. Not much else to say that I didn't say in the image. Its all they know and and all they think themselves capable of. Though thinking about their similarities on this did remind me of something that Beltorchika said in Zeta about Char, about how she thinks he's someone who is incapable of living without war and how definitely similar things are directly said about big boss in metal gear. there's more to this and about whether this is true and why...but my eyes are starting to hurt. I need to finish this.
-Lets go back to leadership. despite the fact that they both do not initially want this position of power, they do eventually give into it to help soldiers/Spacenoids respectively. Big Boss wants soldiers to not be used by governments like he was used (but he does end up using them nonetheless. oops) and Char wants Spacenoid independence from the Federation, although Char´s motivations in cca are more complex than just this, I do believe part of him does genuinely see helping spacenoids as his "duty" and something he needs to sacrifice himself for.Okay that was my last big point. finally this is done. more stuff:
-the_man_who_sold_the_world.mp3
-I don't know. all war criminals know these days is be bisexual and lie. <- all there is to say abt their heavy homoerotic subtext. which yes they also both individually have. although big boss´ is stronger bc he's in metal gear. I also can't ignore it. It's still a character aspect.
-forgot abt Quess...use of child soldiers ig. awesome.
#should i maintag this...hm. no.#i dont wanna know how many times i said the word ``identity`` in this...#what can I say its what They Are About#anon...thank you for indulging me in my insanity...good god i actually ended up writing a lot#i cant imagine anyone alse that might be interested in this...
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I also don't think Gator will die. He got his punishment this episode and it was brutal, but also pretty symbolic. It's a nice punishment, thematically speaking, you can tell a thought was put into it and the performances of both Joe and Jon just added to the absolute devastation that was the scene of Munch of bringing Gator to Roy.
If they wanted to kill I think this episode would've been a good time, but they still kept him in a story for a reason and in the promo for the next episode we see him wandering the tunnels. So, he's still alive for some purpose for sure.
The obvious purpose is either between Roy or Dot. My big hope is that he will have another scene with Dot and there's also a possibility he will "blindly" kill his father (like Oedipus) or spill information that would lead to his death, but the reason he's still in the story is definitely because one of those two characters or both.
I wanted to ask you if he truly does not end up being killed at all, what kind of ending do you imagine for him? I feel like Dot finding him and deciding to take him home with her is a bit far fetched, mostly because I'm still convinced writers want his story to end in tragedy.
He’s definitely alive for some purpose, and my fingers are crossed that he’ll survive till the end. If I could imagine any ending for him honestly it would be for him to do what Dot was hoping Linda and Karen would do. He would get Roy to do the one thing he always said he’d never do, and that would hurt the most to have to live with, surrendering. So Roy would surrender to his “weakling” son and the “inferior” woman he couldn’t break, and then they’d testify against him about all of his past crimes. That’s my perfect world scenario. I think it’s far more likely that Roy is going to die and if Gator doesn’t die with him he’s going to end up going to prison, likely getting time reduced for bearing witness to the FBI about all the illegal things his father and his network did. But I’d like to think that regardless Dot will be there for him helping him in the aftermath.
I don’t think that’s far fetched because we’ve seen consistently how she cares for him. She won’t let that get in the way of her survival and doing what she needs to do to protect herself and her family obviously (nor should she) but Dot sees Gator in his entirety. Both the dangerous and destructive man he became in the years away, and the abused child he was when she left. Her actions have also protected him in the past, which she pointed out to him herself. She’s had numerous opportunities to really hurt him and rat on him to multiple authorities. I don’t think there’s a single person not already on the ranch who could even say Gator had a part in her abduction unless Dot were to reveal that. Yes a big part of that is she didn’t think it would do her any good and she was trying to stay out of Roy’s clutches, but I believe there’s truth to what she told Gator in the barn/shed. If she can help it, she will try not to hurt him.
Dot is a nurturer at heart and we’ve seen that in action so many times. Even believing what she believed about Linda, she was still able to see both the good and bad in her. In her dream we saw that one of her biggest desires along with taking down Roy was to heal the hurt between them. She even offered this to Karen, although she probably knew Karen wasn’t likely to take it. So I believe that if Gator survives that Dot isn’t going to just forget about him.
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Ok but why did you like madam web? I have no opnion on the movie and I'm not planning to see it but I do want to see why the few people that enjoyed it did
There’s many reasons. For starters it is extremely campy, and I love that. I kinda miss superhero movies that go the extra mile to be different, that they even become a little bit cheesy. I guess that’s why I also liked Multiverse of Madness, it was refreshing to have a different story AND visual storytelling, which takes me to my second point.
I’ve heard a lot of people complain about how superhero movies became kind of static, no camera movements, no different shots or angles to push the story forward. I am a professional story board artist, so I appreciate a lot when a movie isnt just telling you what’s going on just through dialogue, but composition and camera work. Yes, it’s a little sloppy in madame web, but I’m so glad it just isnt green screen 24/7 and its the editing and the cinematography what «shows you» Cassie’s abilities. That’s super creative!
Then I loved Cassie as a character, I related a lot to her. The snarky comments, the acid humor, the not knowing how to «properly» interact with other people. That felt so real! She felt like a real person, like someone I can be. I also enjoyed her connection to the girls, them all had great chemistry even if the script made their scenes trip a little, but the way them all shared things in common and became a family, I liked that, I’m a sucker for the found family trope. And also Cassie’s relationship with her mom, I understood that, and that hit me deeply.
Then as for the superhero part. I love that Cassie’s power isnt questioned or dismissed because she’s a woman. I’m VERY tired of movies having these hollow speeches of: ‘Oh, but I am a woman and that makes me strong’ or ‘we’ll take you down with female power’, or having male characters underestimating them for being women and then ‘learning their lesson’. This story never goes there and I appreciate it a lot.
I have many other reasons, but I’ll end just by saying that I’m a huge greek mythology nerd. And I enjoyed a lot Cassie’s story connecting with Cassandra, the seer whose visions weren’t believed. And also Oedipus as Ezekiel trying to avoid his fate.
Is it the best movie? Definitely not, but it’s not as bad as people have said. I believe that every movie has something good to highlight and enjoy and I enjoyed this one a lot! Also. Britney Spears and The Cranberries in the same soundtrack, that sounds fucking awesome.
#madame web#dont take my words as the final truth#this is what i enjoyed#every opinion on the film is valid
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Which "evil" woman from mythology/folklore is your OC?
I was tagged by @corvosattano and @kyber-infinitygems to take this uquiz for some of my ladies who have been wronged in their lives, thank you!
tagging (no pressure) @risingsh0t @sstewyhosseini @detectivelokis @jinfromyarikawa @river-ward @poisonedtruth @nightbloodbix @ghastlyrider @confidentandgood @josephslittledeputy @aceghosts @socially-awkward-skeleton @jackiesarch @voidika @madparadoxum @indorilnerevarine @shadowglens @purplehairsecretlair @nightwingshero @fourlittleseedlings @strangefable @poetikat @leviiackrman @captastra @roofgeese @jacobseed @shegetsburned and YOU!
Lilith
Lilith, from Jewish folklore, was the first wife of Adam. One story tells that Lilith refused to lay beneath Adam during sex. She believed they were created equal, both from the dust of the earth, thus she should not have to lay beneath him. After Adam disagreed, Lilith fled the Garden of Eden to gain her independence. In most manifestations of her myth, Lilith represents chaos, seduction and ungodliness. You are independent and courageous. You may be seen as bold and brash, but in reality your solitude is important to you. You don't like being tied down. You pride yourself on being honest, but this may cause hurt feelings in others. You prefer confrontation to letting things fester. Those closest to you admire your drive and your ability to speak your mind.
notes: took the hothead label a little too literally. won't let others tell her what to do and will let them know under any circumstance.
Baba Yaga
In Slavic folklore, Baba Yaga is a supernatural forest witch who usually appears as a decrepit old woman. She varies between acting as a benefactor and a villain, either helping the hero of the Slavic myth or hindering them. Baba Yaga is also cast as a Mother Earth figure, having an influence on the natural world. You are multifaceted and adaptable. You show many faces to the world depending on what is needed. You are very driven and have an incomparable presence in the lives of those closest to you. You may have difficulties with the way people see you, but those who love you can attest to how good a person you are.
notes: old woman? check. morally ambiguous? check. mother (earth) figure? check. adaptability due to always doing what is expected of and needed from her? check.
Aisha Qandisha
You are Aisha Qandisha from Moroccan folklore. Aisha Qandisha is a jinn who is imagined as a beautiful woman with alluring eyes, voice, long black hair, and the feet of a camel or goat. She is said to lure men into the desert to kill them. She is a spirit of lust, desire, and madness, thought to live near water sources. You like to think of yourself as mysterious, letting few people know you past the superficial things. You fear people knowing the real you because you think they'll hate it. You need to reconcile with the fact that other people are just as complex as you are. You think you're a bad person, but in reality you're just scared of being judged. You need to forgive yourself.
notes: thinks she's being mysterious while actually just being afraid to show her vulnerable side.
Antigone
In Greek mythology, Antigone is the daughter of Oedipus. After the quarrel between her brothers ending in them both being killed, Antigone is determined to bury Polynices despite King Creon's wishes, and is punished. For defying Creon's wishes, she is sentenced to be buried alive in a tomb. You are, above all, resilient. You have known grief in your life, but you face your trauma with your head held high. You are immensely strong, intelligent, and passionate. You don't believe in irony or indifference. You are brave and inspire awe in those who closest to you.
notes: buried alive in a tomb. yeah. she was basically buried by grief and she crawled back out and just keeps on going.
#oc: luna richards#oc: shireen oqir#oc: zoiya#oc: carol kovacs#tag game#sorry for sending out yet another quiz#but i really liked this one#these all check out
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Vampire chronicles ask for u (if you’re still interested ofc!) what do you think about Claudia as a character?
Ofcccc! Tysm for asking and I have a LOT of thoughts on Claudia (how can you not??). Brace yourself for a whole dissertation.
First and foremost, I’m the BIGGEST Claudia defender. I genuinely think she was completely justified in killing Lestat and being a dick to Louis about it. She genuinely has one of the most tragic stories in all of tvc and despite only being a main character for one book, she really stuck with me. Being eternally trapped in the body of a child, never being able to live on your own, take on a lover, basically have any autonomy or respect in society-all because of your drama queen fathers’ shitty baby trapping and toxic married couple bullshit? I would be a VILLAIN.
I hate when people say they dislike Claudia because she “abused” Louis or was “just as bad as Lestat”. Firstly, she was LITERALLY the child lmao. I think we as readers have a very biased portrayal of Claudia and her actions because it’s told from the eyes of Louis and Lestat. If it was from Claudia’s POV, I think absolutely no one would be complaining about her revenge quest against her shitty dads. I know it’s a topical debate on if Louis was a bad father or not, and while I think he definitely tried and was maybe more of the stereotypical nuclear-family-reads-bedtime-stories-to-his-daughter “good dad” in the early years, his hypocritical self loathing and perpetual martyrdom definitely inhibited his ability to provide Claudia with the support system she needed. Weeping dramatically about how bad of a father you’ve been doesn’t make you a better father lmao. To be honest, when it came to Claudia’s personality, I wasn’t a huge fan. I didn’t find her as entertaining to read about as say Lestat or Armand, and she was never emotionally or vibe wise one of my favourite characters. However, I think she is one of the most interestingly written characters and I will always ride or die defend her regardless.
As for AMC’s Claudia, I ADORED Bailey Bass’s portrayal of her and can’t wait to see Delainey Hayles in s2! While I think the aged up Claudia was definitely well executed and interesting (and I get why they did it), I still think it’s a bit of a shame that’s she’s not explicitly a “child” anymore. AMC Claudia can effectively live on her own and with some makeup pass for 18. Even this slight more access to adulthood places show Claudia leagues ahead of book Claudia. One thing I wasn’t a fan of was her sexual assault-I’m glad that they did the bare minimum of not showing it onscreen, but it felt very unnecessary to me. Like they could’ve just made Bruce attack her or something. Also Lestat (sexual assault victim) using Claudia’s against her as a fear tactic?? I get Lestat was very villainized in s1 from a mix of Louis and Claudia’s unreliable narration and Armand’s mind control mumbo jumbo, but I found that rather distasteful. Speaking of Claudia and Lestat, she’s literally his mini me! I really hope AMC shows more of this, and more moments of Lestat doting on Claudia. He was always the father who spoiled her with excessively bloody killing sprees or luxury brand clothes, I feel like we hardly saw that in the show. Like Claudia is his BABY! The parallels between Lestat/the Marquis and Claudia/Lestat…absolutely soul-crushingly diabolical I love it.
I’m curious as to how they’re going to change/approach Claudia and Madeleine’s relationship in the show. One of my favourite changes the show made was getting rid of the Claudia/Louis incest stuff because…DEFINITELY one of my least favourite things about the iwtv book and made me extremely uncomfortable. People always joke about Gabrielle/Lestat but Claudia/Louis is like a fandom taboo lmao (rightfully so). Probably because joking about Lestat’s mommy issues oedipus complex is funnier and more acceptable then acknowledging the fact that book Louis was like a straight pedophile about his 5 year old daughter. Wtf Anne.
This was SO much I’m so sorry lmao
#claudia iwtv#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#interview with the vampire#iwtv 1994#iwtv 2022#amc iwtv#tvc#the vampire chronicles#she’s also such a virgo
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Team BLGA
Quick disclaimer, this is so late because Tumblr wouldn’t let me reblog this post! I had it all written down and hit reblog, it showed that it took, but it somehow didn’t. It took me way to long to figure that out. And then when I tried again, this time from my own reblog, it wouldn’t take. Neither @dragonotaku-justineverything or @madmanwonder posts worked. No matter what I’ve tried, I can’t add to the post. So I’ll add on anyway. Rant over. Now just pretend that this is underneath the afore-linked post.
Haha, this is great! We’ve seen how they dynamics can get with just Bleiss, now all of BLGA? I feel bad for Glynda. Aspirin can only go so far with headaches. Ask me how I know. Bleiss hates Weiss already so all the rest of the swaps would only amplify that. And it would totally be an Ozpin move to have RWBY and BLGA next door neighbors while JNPR is still across the hall. What do we want? Conflict! Where do we want it? EVERYWHERE! I can see some others asking Jaune how he deals with practically living with all these girls and he’s all, “well, it’s not too different from home. Living with seven sisters gives you plenty of practice. And don’t get me started on my cousins.” Perhaps that’s why he’s so dense with their affections; he’s in “survive family chaos” mode so he’s ignoring it. The things you don’t realize as you’re growing up. That and his lack of self-esteem would make him mistranslate their advances as we’ve seen with Pyr.
These are just a few side things I had for them.
Bluby
Now I know that if Bluby and Yue exist then Ruby and Yang wouldn’t and vice versa, but for this I’m just going to ignore that fact for the time being. Bluby being reserved and not speaking unless spoken to outside of her few friends and family is great. Her confidence in front of others can be a front, a shield she developed to hide her insecurities. Part of her arc is learning to trust others and letting yourself be vulnerable. She learned how to be sneaky with how Yue is. She’s elected as leader to force her to make decisions for the benefit of others? Not sure what her Semblance would be. Being reserved and growing up fast could lend itself to a similar speed type, or a partial invisibility. Maybe a misdirection type since Jack Sparrow is so good at that. Shinji Hirako from Bleach had a nice ‘Inverted Sight’ Shikai. She can make friends with Jaune at first because she marks him as easy to use for her own benefit, like Jack does with Will, until she learns to be an actual friend.
Bleiss
With how much stuff there is of Bleiss, I don’t have much to add here but did have a thought while thinking of the others’ Semblances: Glyphs are a rare genealogy Semblance and if she’s Jaques’ bastard, should she not have Glyphs since he’s not a Schnee? If she’s Weiss abandoned twin then sure, but it was a thought. I can totally see Jaques abandoning her as soon as she’s born showing his dark hair, an Oedipus situation where the father demands the newborn be killed but is abandoned instead. While it wouldn’t change much in her personality or lifestyle if she was a bastard vs abandoned, unless there was some weird twist of fate where she does gain Glyphs it would change her fighting style. And her team, I’ve always seen her leading the Malachites, Neo, and Neon. Putting her on BLGA would make an issue there, but putting Neon or Neo in charge could balance that out. Neon can still be old friends with Bleiss to keep that connection with the teams. NNMM, Nutmeg? Names are not my strong suit.
Yue
Yang is a boxer and a brawler with a temper out for a good fight, but Yue is more calculated and in control. Kickboxing is already covered by Mercury who is just as calculating and cool but doesn’t fight for anyone really, but what about Muy Thai? Strike a nice balance between the two. For her, I’d give a Semblance that’s centered more on reflecting or redirecting damage than absorbing it. I doubt that Yue would want a motorcycle because they are more dangerous than cars. Having a bit of a control freak personality and learning to tone it down is a start for her arc. Perhaps she’s a little overprotective as well, bit of a helicopter parent without realizing how damaging it could be? Keeping a strong front that needs no help even when she really does is great. She could also put a lot of stock in strength like Raven, because to her if you’re not strong you can’t protect those you love. Which leads to Yue, like Raven who she despises, to overlook some of the other kinds of strength to add more internal conflict. Ignoring your feelings isn’t healthy Yue. I can see it being a game to Yang among others to see how to get Yue to laugh. No Yang, just because you love puns so much doesn’t mean that it’s the height of comedy. All pranks do is annoy her if done to others and piss her off if done to her or her friends. Perhaps something simple gets her like, “What does the cabbage man use to repair his cabbage wagon? A cabbage patch!” I’ve used that joke in real life and it never fails to get most people rolling. She is very weak to cute critters.
Aiko
Maybe have their mothers being twins, making them cousins who could pass as sisters. Heck to add more to it, how about their dads are brothers from another family. She could be the one to out Blake as a Faunus for more conflict. She gives Aunty Kali updates and tries to get Blake to call herself. Despite her more carefree personality and daydreaming habit, she’s easily one of the smartest students. Much to the surprise of everyone. A bit naïve, not stupid. I love the idea that she reads comics to Blake’s books, but what if she leans more towards shojo manga. She can be still cool with normal comics, but most comics I see are geared towards guys and manga can easily fill her romantic fantasies. She and Jaune could have dance offs after she learns he can dance. Since she’s more extroverted and confident than Blake, a ninja theme just doesn’t fit with her unless we’re talking Naruto or something. How didn’t he die being a walking traffic cone? Yeah, yeah, plot armor, I get it. My first thought is make her a Samurai, but we have Adam for that. Unless we make Aiko a foil to Adam as well, with his code centered around rage and bloodlust while hers is love and protecting. “Hate only begets more hate. To stop the cycle of violence we must embrace love!” “…You stole that from Naruto.” “But it’s not wrong!” If not a samurai, then how about akin to a Sohei or Ikko-Ikki? They’re a monk type, and Sohei use a naginata to differentiate her enough. I know there’s fighting styles that blend with dancing but I’m trying to keep to the Japanese theme with her. Then again she’s got that Middle Eastern Belly dancer thing and I could be way off base here. She could mix and match a few things. I’m coming up blank for her Semblance. Part of me wants to give her sakura petals but Ruby already has the petals motif. Unless that’s her perfume or a design pattern on some of her clothes. Best guess at current is that she hasn’t discovered it yet. She’s a lover not a fighter, so it’d make sense she spends less time on introspection and aura training. I don’t think Roman had his and he was fighting all the time. “But what is she doing in a school to kill Grimm?” Killing Grimm is just pest control to her. Great spot for her to go all out. And since she doesn’t have lone protagonist syndrome, she can remind Blake of some things that Blake tries to ignore or gloss over. For example fighting for Faunus Rights is good, but remember Blake that there have been many times throughout history where Faunus were Faunus’ biggest enemy. Like have a time where there was serious predator/prey discrimination or even subspecies discrimination within their own kind, a good part of certain slavery rings were supplied by Faunus warlords, what some of those same Faunus did to their own human and Faunus slaves, some of the barbaric traditions they used to have, and other things. I can see the White Fang, or certain parts, ignoring those uncomfortable facts to better push their agenda.
Ying
Depending on if, a big if, Ying is added and how Bleiss is teamed up, Team BBNT would also be in a bit of a spot. Unless madmanwonder has a replacement for Bleiss? The other two are fun. It’s easy to cut her out to reduce the chaos and even some things out, but had some thoughts so I might as well put them out there. Jaune is the only one Ying trusts with her hair. Where Yang has a fiery aesthetic to her Semblance, what if Ying has a lightning one? Just to show how much more dangerous and volatile it is. She can be lowkey jealous of Yang/Yue because they were the one who got to live with a unconditionally loving and supportive parental figure, roof over her head, three square meals a day, easy access to clean and hot water, not on the run from authorities for a life she didn’t chose, proper education, had professional doctors, could make friends who wouldn’t literally stab you in the back over a slice of bread, and what not. Sure Ying might be a better fighter but she’s really lacking in civil life where fists don’t work. B(B?)NT and NNMM as JNPR neighbors while RWBY and BLGA are across the hall? Poor hallway.
#Team RWBY#rwby au#rwby#team blga#jaune arc#ruby rose#pyrrha nikos#weiss schnee#nora valkyrie#Blake Belladonna#lie ren#yang xiao long#bleiss schnee#beacon academy#au#opposite personality#flipped personality#team jnpr#aiko belladonna#yue xiao long#bluby rose#ying branwen#flipped character#charcter building
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Tell us more about Fiora and Heather!!
ALRIGHT SO
even though fiora is kind of the main character of "Shear Bliss" (NSFW Warning!) we kind of have to start with heather because they are, contrary to appearances, the older of the two of them by FAR
heather's original refs, designed and drawn by @sacrednanners on twitter!
theyre actually significantly older than fiora. like, by several millennia.
they were actually born on one of the smaller islands in the mediterrannean about 3200 years ago, a period during which, according to greek mythology, the gods were still directly fucking with people all the time. according to Oedipus Rex, the gods stopped doing that after looking at the colossal mess they made in the events of that play (+ the trojan war), so if i wanted to be able to point at the existence of magic in greek mythology instead of coming up with my own magic system, i had to pick a date from before then (more specifically, its the estimate i saw for the setting of The Odyssey, and Circe was a direct inspiration for their character, so thats what i went with :) )
after picking up their tricks, they started traveling from island to island and city-state to city-state, using their magic to trick people into believing they were a minor deity or nature spirit of some kind. as it turns out, that sort of thing is a good way to land "guest of honor" status at those old greek festivals (and also lots of offerings of food!) they picked up their taste for being pampered and adored there, and once they had run out of places to keep up the con had their fill of greek life, they also toured lower egypt, doing much the same, and then so on and so forth in other places
they've maintained their youth for so long using their magic (which is, in turn, maintained with all the worship they used to collect with the "lesser divinity" scam). nowadays, they get all the attention they need through less direct means than showing up to a rager in person: a VERY strong digital presence. in addition to modeling work, they run a highly successful instagram and are a popular livestreamer, bringing in a comfortable amount of money from donations, sponsorships, etc. (that said, they still fuckin love a good rager).
fiora's original reference, also by @sacrednanners, and the first panel of the sequence from Shear Bliss, by my bestie @mae-lizzowski
fiora, on the other hand, is totally mortal and also (apart from working in and around hollywood) totally normal. she was born in a rural community, moved out to work as a tailor, and through a combination of factors (working hard in a decade where that made a difference, having a steady supply of any colored thread she could need immediately on-hand to rapidly iterate on a client's request, and some lucky connections) was able to build up enough savings and reputation to set up her own boutique.
she met heather through her work, when they were working their way up to their current popularity (which, to be fair, wasn't much of a long process; in fact, it was suspiciously quick) and heather wanted to go straight to the big names to get some nice clothes for themself. for as obnoxious as they can be as a customer, they're good at telling where exactly The Line is, and they don't cross it with fiora. with that absolute minimum of respect met, enough reoccurring business between the two of them led them to develop a rapport---while the streaming gig is relatively new, heather's been one of fiora's most reliable customers for going on 30 years! even if she can't stand them sometimes, thats plenty long to get used to somebody.
her wool, pivotal to her work though it is, is also fairly normal. no magic involved, just a quirk of her genes. both of her parents had white wool, and even her son doesn't share the mutation!
(her son florence is his own character btw, as opposed to like an off-screen piece of characterization for fiora. imagine being raised by both a hardass like fiora and a diva like heather. imagine this kid just turning 20 and not only breaking into the fashion business as well, but rubbing elbows with celebrities and going to parties and shit. hes such a menace and i love him)
anyway ty for letting me ramble about the two of them ily bestie
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The Bathroom Scene, Act One
prompt: ( requested ) during the season three chaos, reader is captured and drugged by Russians with Robin and Steve. while in the bathroom, retching their guts out, confessions are made - revelations confessed - and previously wrecked hearts find solace.
pairing: Robin Buckley x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Stranger Things
word count: 3.8k
warnings: cursing, symptoms of purging after involuntary drugging, pretty ladies being oblivious and Steve being wingman.
❗️ season three spoilers.
"Hey, hey," you leaned over to 'whisper' in Steve's ear, "I, like, need water like you need your Farrah Fawcett spray. C'mon!"
"Wait, wait, I don't have any water or hair spray," he looked at you with shock and confusion. "But there's a sink..."
"In the bathroom," you nodded along, eyes slowly widening.
"But - they're watching us," his eyes widened too.
"W-We gotta be quiet," you held your finger to your lips, nodding at Steve before nudging him with a giggle. He nudged Robin then to follow you both blindly as all three got from your seats and snuck away from your babysitters and towards the thick metals doors.
"Oh, hey, hey, hey, what're we doing?" Robin asked, stumbling over her feet with your hand in hers to keep up stable. And also cause the feeling of her hand was nice...
"She needed water," Steve pointed at you.
"I needed water," you waved your free hand.
"There's water there," Robin pointed towards a fountain, making you and Steve gasp sharply.
"An outside sink," he mumbled, nudging you towards it first.
"We're not outside, dingus," Robin pointed out.
"No, no. Outside the bathroom," you waved her off, slamming your hand to the mechanism and slurping down water like you had wondered the desert 40 days and nights.
You took a few minutes before letting Steve in your place, stumbling to your two-left-feet as Robin helped steady you with a hand to your upper arm. You both leaned back on the light-up poster board for Back to the Future, hearing Steve gulp and pull his head up, "That's amazing."
"Let it get down your neck, man," you chuckled, gesturing to your own. "Feels really good."
You missed the way your movements caught Robin's attention, her eyes staring at your bare throat before forcing her gaze away.
He groaned as he slurped noisily, Robin then staring off into space before speaking up, "So, like, I wasn't totally focused in there or anything, but... I'm pretty sure," she nodded at you, eyes tinged red, "that mom was trying to bang her son."
"Call that the ultimate Oedipus Complex," you reached up to gently boop the end of her nose, her genuine smirk turning to you. Then you gasped, "What kinda message does that send to the children?"
"Wait, waist," Steve looked up from the fountain, "the hot chick was Alex P. Keaton's mom?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Robin confirmed.
"But they're the same age," Steve pointed out, hovering over the steady stream.
"No, but he went back in time."
Steve snorted through his nose and paused to swallow the water his his mouth, asking, "Then why is it called Back to the Future?"
"Is he his own dad?" You mumbled with earnest confusion pulling your brows together as if a string was thread between them.
"He has to go back to the future because he's in the past," Robin explained to Steve.
"So, he is his own dad?"
"So, the future is actually the present, which is his time," Robin concluded, looking at you proudly.
You nodded with a growing smile of impression, "You figured all that from the 5 minutes we watched?"
"Kinda."
"So... Is he his own dad?" You muttered, leaning in closer to ask her.
Steve, however, just seemingly caught up to the conversation, asking, "Wh...What?"
But Robin only groaned, "No, no, it's my turn." She reached for Steve and pulled him out of the way, "You've had enough."
When Steve Harrington rightened, he gazed up towards the ceiling of the mall and you cocked your head in curiosity. Pushing off the movie poster covered in glass, you let your feet stumble towards him, "Whatcha lookin' at, Steven?"
"Up," he gasped, pointing his finger upward; not noticing the use of his full name (which was a major no-no). You cocked a single brow and turned your head, humming in thought as your eyes saw what he saw - or maybe a variation of it. "Wow... Hey, you seein' this?"
"Uh-huh," you agreed dumbly, mouth slightly agape; feet uneasy in stance as the lights above you glowed and distorted in shape. "Hey, Robin," you half-heartedly called over your shoulder with a lazy wave of your hand.
"You gotta check this out," Steve followed up, both of you breathing out in wonder as your necks were locked to keep your gaze upward. When Robin pulled herself away from the water fountain, she let her feet slap over the carpet to reach you both before semi-grunting when she came to a halt. "Check this..." Steve mumbled, gesturing with his finger, "This... The ceiling, it's beautiful."
"Oh, wow," Robin beamed as her eyes finally zoned in on what you and Steve were seeing. She chuckled breathlessly before starting to turn in her spot, keeping her eyes up, "Oh!" She chuckled again before the lights started to blur dangerously.
Only problem was, staring up at the lights made you lock onto the sight numbly, and for the drugs to force the lights to swirl sickly. You groaned when you felt your stomach lurch with nauseousness while watching the lights, lowering your gaze as the others groaned when they felt the same illness.
Fearing you'd spill your guts over the floor, there was a free-for-all charge towards the bathroom - nobody bothering to clock whatever gender it was assigned to. Knees hit the floor as puke was spewing from everyone's lips only just barely in time to spit into the toilet.
Like the independent woman you were, you held your own hair back as you involuntarily, violently purged whatever was in your blood stream and system. Slowly, you started to feel more and more normal but it was a long, slow process.
Eventually, you ended up laying on your back - uncaring for the dirty floor after enduring the secret Russian lab - and only wanted to bring relief to your newly-wound tight muscles. The cold floor helped.
You felt swelteringly hot and like your skin was crawling with pinpricks of unwelcome heat. Discomfort crowded your stomach, but you were content to remain in place and silent if it meant the room would stop spinning.
Slowly, the sounds of your friends retching slowly ceased and everyone more or less quit groaning. Eventually, the sounds of toilets flushing echoed around the brightly-decorated bathroom, leaving you all to sigh quietly as your stomachs slowly calmed down.
"The ceiling stopped spinning for me," Robin was heard from the first stall. "Is it still spinning for you two?"
"I'm not even opening my eyes to check," you groaned from your place in the third stall, brows crinkled in displeasure.
"Holy shit," Steve spoke from the second stall. "No. You think we puked it all up?"
"Maybe. Ask me something," Robin recommended. Then, she feigned a Russian accent, "Interrogate me."
Yeah, she was fine if she's still cracking sarcastic comments and little jokes, you thought to yourself.
"Okay," Steve chuckled breathlessly. "Interrogate you, sure. Umm... When was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?"
Robin heard your quiet giggle, replying without thought, "Today."
"What?"
"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw," Robin explained over your smothered giggles.
But you and Steve both broke, laughing in an echo as Steve swore, "Oh, my God."
"It was just a little bit, though!" Robin insisted, much to your amusement.
"Yeah, Stevie, it's definitely still in her system," you giggled from your star-fish position. Robin giggled, too; and Steve just sighed in amusement.
"All right, my turn," Robin called, sitting up from her place on the floor; back to the bathroom wall with her Converse-covered feet planted firmly.
"Okay," Steve muttered. "Hit me."
"Have you..." Robin sighed gently, your head turning on the floor in her direction out of curiosity, "Ever been in love?"
Oh, man - anyone who's had eyes the past two years would know that Steve Harrington was totally, 100%, unmistakably in love with Nancy Wheeler; Hawkins' resident "good girl". Only a select few had the astute pleasure of knowing she was much more than what met the eye. And like you predicted, Steve was answering,
"Yep. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year." The sounds of an imitated gunshot came from his stall, and your head lulled to look up again as you knew how Nance and Steve had crashed and burned.
"Oh, my God," Robin groaned. "She's such a priss."
"Hm," Steve hummed. "Turns out, not really."
"She's much more badass," you mumbled, taking a deep breath.
Robin scoffed quietly before asking, "Are you still in love with Nancy?"
"No."
"Why not?"
It was quiet for a pause and you slowly lifted your head, catching sight of Steve's feet. He gently tisked his tongue before answering, "I think it's because I found someone who's a little bit better for me." He chuckled stiffly, "It's crazy." Your head lowered as you listened to his words, eyes wide open and staring up at the ceiling as nerves swallowed you whole. "Ever since Dustin got home, he's been saying, 'You know, you've gotta find your Suzie. You've gotta find your Suzie.'"
"Wait, who's Suzie?" Robin questioned.
"It's some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend," Steve sighed heavily. "To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real."
Your hand rose to slap the stall wall between you and Steve, "That's not the point."
"Right, uh, that's not - that's not really the point," he allotted with another sigh. "That doesn't matter. The point is, this girl, you know, the one that I like, it's somebody that I... Didn't even talk to in school."
Okay, cool, so that's not me - I've know Steven 'Dingus' Harrington since the 3rd grade and he kicked Tommy Hagen in the balls for making fun of my divorced parents, you thought to yourself.
"And I don't even know why," Steve continued. "Maybe 'cause Tommy H. would've made fun of me or... I wouldn't be... Prom king," he sounded a little disgusted with himself and your heart swelled for the boy you considered your best friend. "It's stupid, I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because, when I think about it, I should've been hanging out with this girl the whole time. First of all, she's hilarious. She's so funny. I feel like, this summer, I have laughed harder than I have laughed... In a really long time."
Suddenly, your drug-hazed mind clicked and you felt tears slowly collect in your eyes because you knew who he was talking about, and there was nothing for you to do now but listen as your best friend confessed his feelings for the girl you've loved since... Well, probably sophomore year of high school.
"And she's smart," Steve listed to your agreement. "Way smarter than me. You know, she can crack, like, top secret Russian codes and..." Your hand rose to press against your mouth and force your tears to remain undetected. "You know? She's honestly unlike anyone I've ever even met before."
Slowly, you pulled yourself up to sit; pushing back between the toilet and stall as you hooked your arms around your bent knees. Noting the quiet, you perked up when Steve questioned, "Robin?" There was no response, prompting him to rap his knuckles against the plastic stall wall between himself and the other girl. "Robin, did you just OD in there?"
"No," Robin answered before sighing shakily. "I... Am still alive." It was quiet as you listened, hearing something slide across the floor. A moment later, Robin's voice sounded again, "The floor's disgusting."
"Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so... What do you think?"
And here it comes - she'd confess her feelings, too, and you'd have to listen. The tears fell uselessly as your chin rested on your knees, hugging them tighter to your chest.
"About?"
"This girl."
"She sounds awesome."
She is...
"She is awesome," Steve voiced your thoughts. "And what about the guy?"
"I think he's on drugs, and he's not thinking straight," Robin answered softly.
Speaking of not being straight...
"Really? 'Cause I think he's thinking a lot more clearly than usual," Steve's rebuttal was swift.
"He's not," Robin sounded uncharacteristically serious. "Look... He doesn't even know this girl. And if he did know her, like-like really know her, I don't think he'd even want to be her friend."
"No, that's not true. No way is that true."
"Listen to me, Steve. It's shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you," Robin admitted, shattering your heart in your chest and sending fragments down to twinkle through your organs. "But I'm not like your other friends. And I'm not like Nancy Wheeler."
"Robin, that's exactly why I like you," Steve chuckled lowly.
She scoffed quietly, "Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?"
"Yeah."
"It wasn't because I had a crush on you. It's because... She wouldn't stop staring at you."
Your head picked up, confusion swirling around your heart and mind. You refused to feel hopeful - because that's how disappointment was born. But you were listening intently.
"Mrs. Click?" Steve asked.
It made Robin softly chuckle before admitting, "Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But... She couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. An-And you didn't even like her, and... I would go home and just scream into my pillow."
Much like I want to do now, you thought sadly.
"But Tammy Thompson's a girl."
"Steve."
"Yeah?"
Silence encased the bathroom, wrapping you three in an embrace.
"Oh," Steve breathed, finally understanding.
"Oh," Robin repeated.
"Holy shit..."
"Yeah," Robin sighed. "Holy shit. And to make matters worse? I then had to watch you be best friends with the only girl who's ever made me feel authentically me," Robin admitted, making your head raise and heart rate increase. "And instead of admitting to her that I... I have a massive crush on her, I just..." Robin shrugged, tears filling her eyes as she looked at Steve, "I admit it when there's literal walls between us."
Steve nodded before realizing what she was saying, perking up and calling your name. "Hey!" He snapped, calling your name again, "Did you OD? Are you choking on your vomit?"
"No, Steve, just... Processing for a moment," you answered meekly, unsure what to do in that moment.
After a beat, Robin spoke softly, "Steve... Did you OD over there?"
"No, just, uh... Just thinkin'."
With courage, and disgust, you pushed off from your spot and slid over to Steve's stall before again over to Robin's; taking the place beside Steve with Robin's feet between you.
When Steve's head turned to you, you saw the clarity there, but also a hint of hurt; before it erased when he clocked the leftover, dried tear tracks on your cheeks. "I mean, yeah... Tammy Thompson, you know, she's cute and all, but... I mean, she's a total dud."
You choked on a laugh as Robin defended, "She is not."
"Yes she is. She wants to be, like, a singer. She wants to move to, like, Nashville and shit."
"She has dreams."
"She can't even hold a tune," Steve pointed out. "She's practically tone-deaf. Have you heard her?" Robin giggled. "All the time!" He started to sing mockingly as you and Robin both giggled, your eyes too shy to meet hers after her confession.
"Shut up - she does not sound like that!" Robin still tried to defend.
"She sounds exactly -"
You and Steve chimed in union, "That's a great impression of her."
"You sound like a Muppet," Robin accused.
"She sounds like a Muppet!" Steve laughed through his words, "She sounds like a Muppet giving birth!"
Like the best friends you are, you and Steve started to mock Tammy in Kermit the Frog's voice - Robin joining in before you all broke out into laughter. "Exactly like that!" You giggled.
"I know," Robin laughed.
Steve smiled at you two, speaking up, "But for what it's worth?" He waited until you both quieted down a little, "You've excellent taste in women because the girl sitting next to me is the best lady I know." Heat flushed your system at Steve's compliment, his head rolling to look at you, "There's nobody more loyal, or a better friend. She's got real dreams, of being a doctor and shit. Nothing like a Muppet."
You smiled at him before shyly meeting Robin's eyes, nodding slowly, "Can't say I was crushing on Tammy, because while you were staring at her, staring at Steve, I was, um..." Steve nodded in encouragement, nudging you gently with his elbow, "I was staring at you," you admitted with a whisper.
"You were?" she asked breathlessly.
"How could I not?" you smiled lightly.
"Tammy's a total dud, like I said," Steve waved, "but this little lady?" He pointed to you, "Solid 11/10. Can't get better than her - honest to God."
"Cheesehead."
"Hey!" He laughed at you. "I'm trying to help here!"
"Do we really need your help if we both admitted to crushing on each other?"
"Well, maybe, since you're taking your sweet time asking her out!"
"Least I don't sound like a Muppet," you teased, making you three snort out another round of laughter - the door of the bathroom shoving open and two figures entering.
However, none of you noticed because you were just giggling to one another, glancing up when Dustin snapped, "Okay. What the hell?"
"Oh, he sounds maaaaad," You whispered to Steve; Erica and Dustin glaring at you three as you melted into more laughter.
"Hang on, Dusty," Steve sniffled, stumbling to his feet and glancing at you two, "we, uh... We just need to step out for a minute."
"No, we need to - "
"Dude," Steve sighed, directing the kid from the bathroom, "tell me outside. Oi!" He snapped his fingers back at Erica, "You too, Sinclair!"
"Did you just snap at me?" she seethed, following the two boys out; the door shutting and leaving you and Robin to a moment of privacy.
"So," you drawled out, "Tammy Thompson, huh?"
She snorted, "Didn't say it was a rational crush."
"No, no," you smiled, "but it's cute. Here I was, thinking I was the only one checking out the pretty ladies in town."
"You did?"
"C'mon, Robin," you sighed, "in this small town? Being different makes you a pariah and I couldn't risk that..."
"And now?"
You smiled, "And now, I think I'm gonna have to take a huge leap of faith."
"Yeah?"
Your head nodded, slowly reaching a hand for hers. "Yeah... 'Cause if I don't admit now that I've a huge crush on you, I might not ever, and I could miss out on dating a really incredible woman."
Her hand tightened in yours, "Sounds like something you might regret."
"Whole heartedly," you nodded, finding the one serious bone in your body. "Robin, I uh... Look, I get that we're both gay, and in this town, it turns into a 'take what I can get' situation, but you've gotta know, I admire you too much for that. So, if you're serious about liking me, I'd really like to see where this goes, but... If you're not, I think it's okay if we just stayed friends. Okay? No harm, no foul. I've been through this before, all right?" Her brows crinkled. "Y-You don't know?" Her head shook. "Kinda thought everyone knew," your throat cleared. "Freshman year, I had this friend, something like a best friend... Chrissy. She was everything to me, and I made that known, and it totally backfired. She didn't feel the same, and we haven't spoken since. I don't think I could handle it if that happens to us, too, so, just know, there's nothing wrong with rejecting me now before we're in too deep. Your comfort is all I care about right now."
Robin's eyes turned sad, "I don't want that for us."
"What do you want, then?"
She gulped, "I-I thought I wanted Tammy, but... I think that was just a fantasy, because when you and I started to get closer, I-I-I just... My whole mind goes blank, my stomach feels weird, and I don't know if you could tell, but my palms get all sweaty, too - "
"Robin," you smiled, giving her hand an encouraging squeeze, "I've liked you for longer than I can remember, but I won't jeopardize this friendship - that's how much I value you. But if you'd let me, I'd really like to take you out on a proper date when this is all over."
And softly, her lips pulled into a genuine smile, "Yeah, I... I'd really like that."
"Good," you smiled. "So, we just can't get kidnapped by Russians again and, uh... Find all the others to figure out what the fuck is really happening."
"Sounds easy enough."
"Well, now that we've got you, master puzzle solver, I think we might stand a bit more of a chance," you chuckled, standing to your wobbly feet and offering her both hands. "Whatcha say, pretty girl, we figure this out and you'll let me take you out?"
She beamed, "I'd really like that."
"Good," you smirked, feeling a surge of confidence. "'Cause I think if I gotta wait to kiss you any longer, I might go a bit crazy... Or, crazier then I already am."
Robin chuckled, looking nervous now, "We were just throwing up."
"Mhm," you nodded, "which is why, I'll wait until this is over and we can - mmh!" You were cut off by Robin's slender hands cupping both of your cheeks and smashing her lips to yours; forcing you back a step into the stall wall, but to also enthusiastically return her affection. Hands to her waist, you relished in the feeling of her lips on yours; moving in sync without pushing the envelope too far.
You jumped when the door burst open again, Dustin, Steve, and Erica scrambling in for refuge. "Nice," Steve grinned when he saw you two, nodding and giving a thumbs up.
"Okay, you two will have time for all this later - right now, we've gotta go!" Dustin rushed before pausing and looking back at you both. Slowly, a grin stretched across his lips, "I'm happy for you both - but c'mon!"
"Let them live, Dusty, they just confessed their love," Steve sighed dreamily, almost sarcastically.
"Okay, great, congrats or whatever, but there's bigger issues!" Erica rushed, rolling her eyes and stomping up to you and Robin; snatching your wrists, and tugging you after her. "We have to find a way to get out of here without getting caught."
You checked your watch, "Okay, well, movie should be over soon..."
"So?" Dustin sighed.
"So, why don't we just sneak out with the rest of the movie-goers?" You perked a brow, looking to Robin, who nodded. Then, to Steve, who shrugged.
"Can't hurt to try," Erica told Dustin, who nodded and cracked the bathroom door open to peer out. Your hand found Robin's and slowly laced your fingers together, ignoring Steve's all too proud and smug look.
"I did that," he 'whispered' to Erica, who only rolled her eyes as the older boy gave you and Robin another proud thumbs up.
#robin buckley#robin buckley x you#robin buckley stranger things#robin buckley oneshot#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x female reader#robin buckley blurb#robin buckley x y/n#stranger things#stranger things x reader#stranger things imagine
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the joy i feel when i check the chrollo tag and see your username >>>
(seriously!! you capture chro’s yandere chivalry so well)
gasp!! he's back in grease jail for a little bit but i promise...... HE'LL RETURN!
to be honest i'm very new with this kind of stuff. i'm still learning bits and gizmos when it comes to writing (and even outside of that), but that's life, i guess. there is just so many possibilities when it comes to writing, especially in the thriller/horror genre (though i wouldn't really call the stuff i write really scary per say.......). the human psyche still has plenty of traits that our pre evolved selves did, be it literal with science (for example, being scared of closed spaces, aka claustrophobia, which can be hereditary) or in a more figurative sense (with self-discovery, facing your fears, all that jazz). writing things that make readers uncomfortable, at least in my opinion, is at least somewhat based in psychology studies. for example, the oedipus rex complex with norman bates from alfred hitchcock's psycho. even though sigmund freud is still public enemy #1 in my eyes........ the man did indeed spring up my love for psychology in the first place because his research goes into nature vs nuture (which i find one of the most interesting topics to read about), as much as i want it not to be true. but alas. we win some, we lose some.
i feel like mr greasehead over here is also just interesting on a psychological level. he has no sense of self whatsoever, so he always molds himself to fit whatever situation he is in. until he can't take it anymore... which is a concept horrifying in of itself. but mainly he keeps his composure, which makes for an interesting combination with a darling that A: wears their heart on their sleeve, or B: also tries to keep their composure and acts in a way similar to him most of the time. for the latter it turns into a cat and mouse game of sorts. the question is who the mouse is and who the cat is when it comes to mind games. unfortunately for a manipulative darling, chrollo is always the latter. for plot reasons.
hier encore darling is always on her toes for a reason, after all.
You feel an invisible pressure on your neck. It’s just a knot in my throat, you think to yourself, closing your eyes. The sight of his stillness gifts you a veil of comfort so thin that if anyone were to touch it it would tear. I’m not going to die. But you can’t breathe.
Your heart tells you otherwise. You can feel, no, hear blood pulse to the very tips of your fingers. Your feet tell you otherwise. They are cold. They hurt. They are adhered to the ground. Your arms and legs tell you otherwise. There is nothing but pins and needles all over. This is your chance, the little voice in your head says with blind reassurance. Who knows when you will ever get this chance again? Do it now, and be quick about it. But you can’t breathe. You can’t breathe, and you have to try your hardest to stop the hand holding your espresso from shaking and falling on you.
babygirl is not okay. nuh uh. she'll return eventually though. much is planned for her, whether they are good or bad things. only time will tell if she gets a happy ending. very mean of me, i know.
back to what you said though, chrollo is many, many things. being genuinely chivalrous is not one of them. respect? he doesn't know her. he can be disrespectful when he wants to be when he's picking at darling's brain or when he snaps. he can pretend though. he can indeed pretend. even if darling calls him out on his bullshit, he'll never actually admit to it. smug asshole. unless he can push the blame to darling, whether that is subtly or not at all subtly. he knows that the human mind while isolated can be desperate and believe anything if broken down enough. that's where the real scare is, i believe. anyone can be broken down if the breaker is trying hard enough. be it yan chrollo with his darling, or poor darling unintentionally pushing him past his limit.
for now, all i have planned for him (aside from the yan chrollo requests that i'm working on) in a sort of analysis for him (it's very long sob sob). it will be broken down into the parts shown below:
introduction
darling character analysis
yandere MBTI (courtesy of god ddarker-dream's yandere MBTI)
unique qualities
strengths
weaknesses
daily life
punishments
quotes
conclusion
hopefully it will be done by mid to late january. but he has to wait for now. hence why he's back in jail. don't worry, he has feitan to keep him company. they'll rot away together. <333
#it's 50/50 always with feitan's darling though#like genshin/hsr#unfortunately for them they always lose#“which feitan am i gonna get today?” (spins the wheel of fortune)#helloclitty#aya answers
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Last Monday of the Week 2023-12-04
ah fuck the mondaypost
Listening: I have been going back through some of @kelp-of-discontent's recs that I've saved and not gone back to. Great taste! Here's Pool Kids's Pool Kids
I always love the unmoored feeling good math rock gives you and this really lands that.
Watching: Double Features, 1) Bara no Soretsu/Funeral Parade of Roses because @thosearentcrimes has been trying to get us to watch that forever and we finally just sat down and watched it on yes the extremely funny ultrawide monitor that was being used as my TV.
Bara no Soretsu is very good in that arthouse way where it's very unpolished and has some very out there ideas about what makes a good movie but executes on it earnestly and with a goal. It's a combination of a movie about transgender women in the underground gay men's scene in 60's japan loosely based on the myth of Oedipus and also a documentary following the actors as they make this movie, in a way that makes it kind of hard to tell when something is meant to be the movie and when it's meant to be the documentary.
It's very uh. Challenging? It's honestly less tragic than I was expecting and it's mostly just a fascinating look into this very specific time and place. The interviews are priceless, a trans woman very straight facedly looking into the camera when asked "are you having a good time" and going "no, but I'm going to keep doing it". 10/10
Also Tomb Raider but the 2001 Angelina Jolie one. An impromptu pick for Bad Movie Night because we had an empty house and didn't want to burn a good bad movie. Tomb Raider is most interesting in how it approaches shooting action which is to say that it's mostly not good at it but has brief moments of inspiration. A very generic action adventure story otherwise, featuring young Daniel Craig as a prettyboy graverobber counterpart to Lara Croft. They made Angelina Jolie do an English accent and she just could not do it.
Reading: The other short stories that came along with Story of Your Life by Ted Chiang. Tower of Babylon is a fun atmospheric story of the Ancient Sumerians building a tower to breach the vault of heaven. Division by Zero is a very compelling depiction of a mathematician going insane because she has proven arithmetic to be inconsistent, which is notably not accompanied by any material changes in the world around her, which I liked.
Making: Mostly preparatory. I have a few project I've been sketching out, including hacking my own controller onto a WS2812 LED string and automating my radiators. The stepper motors and the string arrived today. Looking into exprTK, an expression evaluation library that should be suitable for my needs, and the ESP32 RMT subsystem which is a cute little mini-DSP and modulator built into the ESP32 ostensibly for IR Remote Control but frequently used now to quickly and efficiently implement all manner of protocols.
Playing: More Dark Souls, although less this week because I've been doing other things. still working around Darkroot Basin but I really haven't been there long. The ents are a real pain in the ass when paired with the knights, not because they're very hard but because you just have to wait for them to jump you.
Tools and Equipment: a new AMD GPU tuning utility for Linux was released a little while ago, LACT, which has a much simpler interface than some of the older tuning utilities. I like it, especially since I was doing some fan noise tuning after I installed the new network card and being able to just hit the fan speed with a slider was convenient.
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NEW The Lessons of Bryan Fuller's Hannibal S1:E4 -- FAMILY DON'T END WITH BREAKFAST
Lessons of Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal
S1:E4 – FAMILY DON’T END WITH BREAKFAST
And so dear friends and #FannibalFamily, we have arrived at S1:E4 of Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal, the episode titled “Oeuf.” And I just have to say it, and I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I have always thought that oeuf is a weird-looking word. There. I said it.
It’s not necessarily the combo of the three vowels all in a row. We have lots of those in English. I think it’s the ‘o’ followed by the ‘e.’ Whenever I see an “oe” combo at the beginning of a word, my mind immediately goes to the Greek tragic hero, King Oedipus, father slayer, mother lover, and poor, eyeless guy that he was. And then I think of Freud’s “Oedipus complex,” his now mostly debunked theory that all children, namely male ones, go through a stage in childhood in which they sexually desire their mother and develop an antagonistic attitude toward their father. Freud theorized that if parents were loving and not abusive, children would eventually exit this phase. Karl Jung coined the term “Electra complex” in which the theory applied to female children experiencing the same feelings about their fathers.
It is funny of course that my brain has led me here because the events of “Oeuf” do indeed have to do with family – with mothers and fathers. Boys that have one mother too many, grown men that had mostly none, and a confused teenage girl who now has lost a mother and must contend with the memory of one dead father and the expectations of two live ones.
They do so much to us – mothers and fathers. Good and bad. The sheer pressure of the idea often makes me glad I never had children. I can be content that the only person I have the power to mess up is myself. Hallelujah.
An oeuf is an egg. The first three episodes of Hannibal were: “Apéritif,” “Amuse-Bouche,” and “Potage.” So, at this point, we have had an appetizer and a cocktail and a bit of hearty soup. And now out of nowhere – EGGS! In doing research, webpages about French cuisine informed me that the oeuf course is not typically included in a dinner menu. EXCEPT for this episode of Fuller’s show, in which Hannibal prepares breakfast for dinner, which is, in my opinion, one of the greatest traditions ever created. I eat breakfast for dinner quite often. It gives one a little bit of comfort at the end of the day, especially if the day was sad or rough or long. Yeah, your boss yelled at you and you slipped and fell in the parking lot and scraped your knees and there’s nothing good on TV tonight, but DAMMIT, you can have pancakes.
Hell... Now I want pancakes…
Anyway, it was sage Ron Swanson who said, “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food” (Freedman). And even in an episode of a show about a cannibal psychiatrist and his obsession with a twitchy, beautiful FBI agent, breakfast comes through in the clutch yet again. More about that later…
The title of this episode is also very apropos because eggs are symbolic in and of themselves. In each episode of Hannibal, a symbol emerges. In S1:E1, it was the MONGOOSE. In S1: E2, the MUSHROOM. In S1:E3, BOATS. Eggs are symbolic of fertility, abundance, birth, and rebirth. In this episode, we see the birthing of an important thing – a FAMILY. Fertilization occurred in the Hobbs’ kitchen in “Apéritif.” The insemination was messy and violent, but the result was the same. By Episode Four, it is time for nest-building. And we know exactly which bastard would be best at that, beautiful bird that he is.
“Oeuf” was written solo by Jennifer Schuur (Big Love, The Catch). Undoubtedly, she is the namesake of poor Marissa Schuur, who wound up impaled on a rack of stag’s antlers in “Potage.” Personally, I think having a character named after you in an episode of one of Fuller’s shows an amazing and beautiful tribute. If it happened to me, I would probably stop people on the street to tell them about it. The episode was directed by Peter Medak (who has directed so many things I can’t even list them, but I just want to say that he directed Zorro: The Gay Blade which means that he is a true gift to the world forever.)
Schuur wrote an absolutely masterful episode here. The overarching theme of FAMILY is cultivated through all five acts of the script. She shows us three separate families all developing and growing at the same time. They are:
Eva’s family of Lost Boys
The BAU family with Jack as the domineering father
The Murder Family – Abigail and her two beautiful, confusing dads
In every act of this story there is a part of our lesson – a bud, a leaf, a root – that ultimately bursts into full flower at the end of the episode. Sorry, I cannot extend the egg motif to this. Birds build nests in trees – Eva, Jack, and Hannibal all build different kinds of nests. One of them is sundered by the end.
The theme of family is introduced right away with Will sitting at the Turner family table, amidst the remains of a rotting family meal and the rotting remains of the family itself. Again, we see the pendulum swing – we see the decriminalization of the scene as Will views it in his mind. I believe this is one of the best set pieces of Fuller’s adaptation of Harris’ work. The pendulum swing, which signals to the viewer that the murder scene we are observing is about to be literally rewound and undone, is very effective. The image of the pendulum is taken directly from Harris’ Red Dragon. In the beginning of the novel, when Will is alone at the Leeds’ crime scene, Harris says, “In his mind, a silver pendulum swung in darkness. He waited until the pendulum was still” (11). In Fuller’s version, once the pendulum is still, the scene has been deconstructed and Will enters as the killer, metaphorically walking in the suspect’s steps and murdering with the suspect’s hands. It is one of my favorite parts of the series. Will ends every decriminalization with the phrase, “This is my design,” and I must say, it always gives me goosebumps.
The Turner family has been killed by someone they knew, someone known and also short. The image of blood splattered all over the family portraits on the wall speaks to the theme of the episode and to the larger, real world concept of family. So much blood shed in families, by families, and for families in this world. Even if no one else has ever seen you bleed, your family has. It really can’t get more intimate than that.
A bit of a thirsty sidenote here: during the murder recreation, Will points at the Turner daughter and commands her to “eat her growing foods” or forfeit dessert (Schuur 2). This is unbearably hot and a perfect example of Daddy Will in action. There is a continuing light-hearted disagreement amongst Fannibals whether Will is “Daddy” or “Baby,” to which I answer “YES.” To Will Graham stans like me, he is all things. He’s every woman; it’s all in him.
After Will has recreated the murders, Jack enters the scene and the following bit of dialogue occurs:
JACK CRAWFORD: What do you see, Will?
WILL GRAHAM: Family values.
JACK CRAWFORD: Whose family values?
The viewer can detect the note of cynicism here in both Will and Jack’s assessment of the scene. I often imagine that if Will had answered Jack’s question, he would have said something like “America’s.” In Fuller’s show, the true killing floor of the American family is laid bare just as David Lynch does in Twin Peaks. The horror isn’t at the movies, folks. It lives next door – it works at your local car dealership – it sits next to you in the pew at church.
In the next scene, we cut to Will’s comfy Wolf Trap home, where Hannibal Lecter ascends the porch, enters through the front door, and begins feeding links of suspicious sausage to Will’s dogs. The script doesn’t indicate that the sausage is made of human flesh, but considering that later in this episode Hannibal feeds Jack boudin made from “rabbit,” (a very clumsy one in a plaid jacket we see being chased through the woods), I think it’s safe to guess that Hannibal made a lot of “rabbit” sausage.
Hannibal then begins exploring Will’s home. This scene always feels to me like an animal marking its territory. I am a cat owner and I can tell you that my cats have rubbed themselves all over everything I own. One of my cats even waits on the bathroom rug, so as soon as I get out of the shower, she can be the first to rub against me and deposit her scent. What can I say? The felines love me. Hannibal pokes through Will’s books, and literally roots through his underwear drawer. When Hannibal encounters the stacks of size small white t-shirts folded neatly in this drawer, I wish he had pulled one out and gave it a good sniff. Considering Hannibal’s legendary sense of smell, this would have made tons of sense. If he had, it would have been akin to the scene in Harris’ Hannibal when Dr. Lecter literally tastes Clarice. He breaks into Clarice’s Mustang, sits there breathing in her scent and then, “he leaned forward, found the leather steering wheel by scent, and put around it his curled tongue, cupping with his tongue the finger indentations on the underside of the wheel…Then he leaned back in the seat, his tongue back where it lived, and his closed mouth moved as though he savored wine” (Harris Hannibal 285). “Did you just smell me?” indeed.
Hannibal finishes his tour of Will’s home by admiring Will’s fly-fishing lures at his worktable set up for the process. The script indicates here that Hannibal sits down at this table and ties off a salmon tie Will has been working on, with his surgeon’s precision. Then, for a seemingly whimsical purpose (Get ready, y’all – this cannibal loves WHIMSY), he pushes the barb of the lure into his thumb, draws blood, and then puts the now injured finger into his mouth. The sound of Hannibal sucking the blood off is described as a “sound not unlike a quick kiss” (Schuur 4). If this scene isn’t showcasing the start of a tempestuous romance, then I don’t know what the fuck it’s doing otherwise. Yes, this is Hannibal-style reconnaissance, but it’s possessive and lingering and it’s about love, GODDAMMIT.
Next, in the beginning of Act One, we see Abigail and Alana at Abigail’s hospital. They are walking the grounds, discussing Abigail’s therapy. Abigail explains that she feels lost, that she is without a home. As opposed to helping her, she feels like the support groups she is in are wringing her out. Abigail concludes that most of the other patients in these groups are merely being performative and false and that this style of therapy is of no help to her. Alana listens and commiserates, but she encourages Abigail to continue trying to open up in group. Abigail’s dissatisfaction with her therapy will come up later on in the episode. Alana, bless her heart, tries her best to connect with Abigail, to serve as a confidante and a reliable adult in the young girl’s life. But considering the horrific secrets Abigail continues to harbor, the only person who can really help Abigail is Hannibal; incidentally, that is exactly the way Hannibal wants it.
We then see Alana arriving at Dr. Lecter’s office. Over her beer and Hannibal’s wine, they discuss Abigail’s progress at the hospital. Hannibal believes that the only way Abigail will make progress is if she is removed from the hospital and re-integrated into the real world. Alana vehemently disagrees. She cautions Hannibal about trying to become Abigail’s surrogate family because to Abigail it “would only be a crutch” (Schuur 9). Hannibal relents and agrees to Alana’s therapy plan, but we see later on that this promise Hannibal makes is an empty one.
Now, back at the Turner crime scene, the entire BAU family is in attendance – Jack, Will, Jimmy Price, Brian Zeller, and Beverly Katz. Team Sassy Science (as Fannibals refer to Price, Zeller, and Katz) are processing and preserving evidence. Jack explains to all of them that the Turner family had another son, Jesse, who went missing the year before; authorities could not determine whether Jesse was a runaway or was kidnapped.
We see a theme of appearance versus reality unfolding in this scene. The images families portray to the world and the actual horrors underneath. Will echoes this sentiment while examining the Turner family photos. He says, “False faces in family portraits. Layers and layers of lies betrayed by a sad glint in a child’s eyes” (Schuur 10). A big sad onion, the Turner family.
In the next scene, Schuur very pointedly pulls the theme of family forward again. The team has returned to the BAU lab at Quantico. As they work, they discuss their own families. Price, Zeller, and Katz all had siblings. Will was an only child. The description of the staging for this scene in the script says, “Jack faces Zeller, Price, Katz, and Graham. He’s like a demanding father, presiding over his children as they present what they’ve just learned at school. Will stands slightly apart, not quite fitting into this surrogate family” (Schuur 12).
Just as Will didn’t fit into his own family, now he does not fit into his work family. In this way, Will’s plight mirrors that of Chris O’Halloran, one of the Lost Boys we meet later, who is also having trouble integrating into his new family. Mind you, Chris’ new family is a lot more murdery than Will’s, but I believe this is an important parallel. As an empath, Will does not only relate to and inhabit the feelings of the killers; he feels into the lives of the victims as well. The Lost Boys are both – killers and victims.
Although she is a controversial figure, there are some tidbits of wisdom to be found in the work of the late self-help guru, Louise Hay. In her book You Can Heal Your Life, Hay writes, “We are all victims of victims” (99). She uses this phrasing to describe what happens in families. Parents victimize their children in the same way that they were victimized by their own parents. If these children do not make diligent attempts to avoid recreating these patterns, they will victimize their own children in the same ways. In this manner, generational trauma is created. All of the Lost Boys in this episode are victims of their surrogate mother, Eva, and her desire for love and belonging. But these boys were victimized by their own families before Eva ever showed up – that’s how Eva could get to them. Their inherited pain opened the door.
Also, Will not fitting in with his BAU family is juxtaposed with the family that Hannibal is preparing for Will. Throughout the episode, Hannibal is laying the groundwork to fuse his family members together. The Doctor’s plans do not turn out exactly as he wants them to, but he makes impressive progress.
At the end of the scene at the BAU, Will concludes that Jesse was involved in his own mother’s death based on the positioning of her body at the dining room table. A posture of forgiveness and acceptance is what tips Will off.
In Act Two, there is more intense discussion of family, this time between Hannibal and Will. Will sits in the familiar leather chair in Hannibal’s very well-appointed office and Hannibal begins their session with the classic, and cliched psychiatrist’s open: “Tell me about your mother” (Schuur 15). Even though Will castigates Hannibal for the “lazy” questioning, we still find out a great deal about both Will and Hannibal’s family histories in this scene. Will never knew his mother and grew up poor, following his fisherman father around from port to port. Hannibal’s parents died when he was young; he was an orphan until his Uncle Robertas adopted him at sixteen. I should note at this point, being the insane fan that I am, Bryan intended for the person to play Hannibal’s uncle in later episodes to be David Bowie, which would have been absolutely perfect beyond reckoning. The only man on earth who has cheekbones to rival Bowie’s is Mads Mikkelsen, so selling them as actual blood family would not have been difficult in the least. We lost a lot of things when the Starman left us; this amazing opportunity was one of them. It will always be my headcanon, and that’s the best that can be done. (BTW - #BowieForever).
Hannibal stresses that he and Will both have a lot of things in common with Abigail; their complicated relationships with family is yet another. In this exchange between the two men, an important piece of dialogue occurs that I must quote in its entirety.
WILL GRAHAM: There’s something so foreign about family. Like an ill-fitting suit. Never connected to the concept.
HANNIBAL: You created a family for yourself.
WILL GRAHAM: I created a pack of strays. Thanks for feeding them while I was away…
HANNIBAL: I was referring to Abigail Hobbs (Schuur 16).
Once again, in looking at the scripts in more detail, I am amazed at the sheer manipulation Hannibal attempts, just right out of the gate, just four episodes into Season One. Hannibal says that it is Will who has created a family with Abigail. I assume he means by killing her father. But, in fact, it is HANNIBAL who has created the family because he is the one who saved Abigail’s life. In that moment in the Hobbs’ kitchen, after Garrett Jacob Hobbs slashes his daughter’s throat, after Will shoots him ten times, after Will rushes to Abigail’s side, who is bleeding out on the floor, just a matter of minutes from death – in that moment, if Hannibal had not intervened, Abigail would have died. Will was way too upset – he was shaking life a leaf from head to toe. He looked as if he was having a panic attack, like he would pass out – his expression is terrifying as his entire body vibrates with his ragged breaths, blood splattered all over his face and his glasses. If you need just one scene from any film or TV show he has ever acted in to understand why Hugh Dancy is such a fucking amazing actor, this scene is the one.
When Will places his hand over Abigail’s wound to stop the bleeding, he can’t apply enough pressure. He is too upset – too much blood leaks between his fingers. Behind him, Hannibal stands. Looking at his face, (more of Mads’ genius microexpressions), the viewer sees him make a conscious decision to get involved. As if his mind said aloud, “All right, I shall intervene here. I think I know how I can use this.” Use this? For what, you ask? To get Will. To get Will to spend more time with him, care for him, talk to him – perhaps, already, in feverish fantasies, he has imagined Will killing with him. Even though events often make us question whether or not Hannibal truly loves Will, he does. It’s all about Will. From “Do you have a problem with taste?” to “See? This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us,” it’s all about Will. I can’t say I blame Hannibal. If Will Graham stumbled into my life, I think it would immediately become all about him too.
In this conversation, Hannibal is continuing his laying of groundwork. It started in the Hobbs’ kitchen – then, he stayed by Abigail’s side in the hospital. So did Will. Even when she was in her coma, the two men protected her.
The return to Abigail’s family home in “Potage” is like a ceremonial goodbye to her old family. Her old family who was at least partially killed by her new family. This is the same as Eva is doing. Eva says to her Lost Boys later in the script, “you can only have one family” (Schuur 28A). Apparently, Hannibal believes this as well. It is astonishing how quickly he moved to build himself this new family once he made the decision. It once again proves just how intensely Hannibal was KO’d by Will at their first meeting. It also proves that the loneliness Hannibal has been experiencing since his sister Mischa’s death is becoming unbearable. In Harris’ canon, Hannibal tries to turn back time. In Fuller’s version, Hannibal creates a family from blood and violence.
In the next scene, we see Jack and Hannibal having a lovely dinner together in Hannibal’s royal blue dining room. Out of all the set designs in the show, I love Hannibal’s dining room the most. It reminds me of the first lines of Bowie’s “Sound and Vision” – “Blue, blue, electric blue – that’s the color of my room, where I will live – blue, blue” (“Sound and Vision – David Bowie”). Hannibal tells Jack that they are eating a boudin noir made from “rabbit,” the aforementioned plaid-jacketed one. I always find it hilarious how amused Hannibal is by feeding people meat to people without their knowledge. It’s almost penetrative. It’s so male. Hannibal will get inside you one way or the other. The two men discuss Will. Jack is concerned that the Lost Boys case is hitting Will too close to home. Hannibal suggests that Will’s life in the past is not properly anchoring him. “He needs a anchor, Jack,” Hannibal says (Schuur 19). But that anchor is not Jack. Hannibal is already Will’s paddle, he might as well be his anchor too. Hannibal is just like Will. He’s every woman. It’s all in him.
Back at the BAU, Team Sassy Science examines more evidence from the Turner crime scene – soda cans, shoes, video game controllers. From this evidence, the team determines that there were three other boys with Jesse at the crime scene. Zeller is the one who dubs them, “The Lost Boys.” This is, of course, an apt moniker because both the Peter Pan tribe and the pack of film vampire teens are examples of created or found family. They are misfit children, all of them. Price pulls Connor Frist’s fingerprints, which will lead them to their next crime scene.
Next, we see Jack storming into Will’s Quantico classroom and very unceremoniously dismissing his students. He tells Will about Connor Frist, who went missing ten months ago, and that Will must get ready to board a plane with the team to the Frist’s home in Huntsville (I assume Alabama.)
Cut to the BAU team and other officers entering the Frist family home, which is all decked out for Christmas, even though it has not been the holiday season for some time. The mother, father, and two smaller Frists are all dead. A dog trots into the scene carrying a decapitated arm. You gotta give it to Fuller and all the writers on this series. The humor is darkness at its finest.
Act Three begins back at the BAU with Team Sassy Science examining the bodies of the Frist family. They discover that one of the bodies is the Lost Boy Connor Frist himself, who was apparently shot and then his body burned in the family fireplace. Together the team theorize that Connor tried to kill his mother, but she did not die with the first shot to her head, and possibly began having a seizure, which caused Connor to panic. Because of this panic, someone taller with a larger caliber weapon dispatched both Connor’s mother and Connor himself. Down feathers found with Connor’s remains indicate that someone put a pillow under the boy’s head before he was shot. The juxtaposition of the savagery and compassion of the Frist scene befuddles Jack, but Will manages to catch the loose thread of the fabric saying of Connor’s death, “Whoever shot him… disowned him” (Schuur 26).
Next, we see Will in Hannibal’s office again. I found myself beginning to question at this point if every time we see Will in Hannibal’s office if he is attending his therapy session or if he and Hannibal are close enough now that he just goes to Hannibal’s office whenever he needs to talk. I know his appointment time with Hannibal is 7:30 p.m., but I am unaware if it is every week or every other day or every day. (If anyone reading this knows, please comment.) Will is angry when he enters Hannibal’s office – not at Hannibal, but at himself and at the Lost Boys. He tosses down a very plain, but neatly wrapped package that he says he intended to be a gift for Abigail: “Magnifying glass. Fly tying gear,” but that he “thought better of it” (Schuur 27). After buying the gift, Will realizes that Abigail’s father taught her how to hunt and that the idea of Will teaching her to fish bears too strong a resemblance to the trappings of fatherhood. Hannibal asks Will if he is “feeling paternal;” he confirms that he is and asks Hannibal if he feels the same, which Hannibal also confirms, but also passes along Alana’s warning about the dangers of assuming new familial roles for Abigail. Will then explains that he is actually angry about the boys in the case he is currently working. A great deal is made of Will’s almost perfect empathy. Several plotlines in the series really bring it to the fore and rely on it for dramatic movement. But Will’s empathy is also showcased in small moments like this one with Hannibal. Will says, “I’m angry about these boys. I’m angry cause I know when I find them, I can’t help them. I can’t give them back what they gave away” (Schuur 27). Will is angry because the boys cut themselves off from the one thing Will never really had – family. Jack Crawford is correct – the case is hitting Will too close to home. But most importantly, Will is upset that he will not be able to help the boys once he tracks them down – to Will, actually finding them is secondary. Being able to fix something once he does is paramount. It is a horribly naïve view for someone who spends as much time with murder as Will does, but it is the essence of who Will is. Will cares. But he also cares too much. People who care too much run the sincere risk of burning themselves out – and when they do, God help those around them. Their new life philosophy doesn’t always shift into “don’t give a fuck,” it shifts into “I’m gonna make people pay.” Not always, but as a person who cares too much, sometimes I really crave a villainous turn for myself… I’ll never do it. I’m too soft-hearted.
In this context of Will’s anger at the boys who sacrificed their own loving families, Hannibal enters with the verbal equivalent of quick-dry cement and a rake. AKA, groundwork manipulation. He remarks to Will, “Abigail is lost, too. Perhaps it is our responsibility, yours and mine, to help her find her way” (Schuur 28). See? You and me, Will. You and me. You can’t fix what’s wrong with these boys, but together we can fix Abigail. Won’t it feel nice to create something rather than destroy it? Won’t it feel nice to belong somewhere, to belong to someone? Hannibal is a genius. Completely unethical, but when Hannibal wants something or someone, he doesn’t let anything get in his way, even if he has to eat them.
Now, we see for the first time in the episode our Lost Boys family – but we see them with their surrogate mother, Eva, played insanely well by Molly Shannon, who absolutely kills in dramatic roles. Personally, I love comedic actors in dramatic roles; I feel they are able to shift back and forth seamlessly because in all forms of comedy is the element of darkness – the dissatisfaction or anger or fear or sadness that drove the creator to write it. But, I digress…
Eva is sitting in a diner with her three “boys,” C.J. Lincoln, Jesse Turner, and Chris O’Halloran. Over burgers and fries, the “family” is discussing what happened to Connor. Eva makes Connor’s murder sound like a mercy killing, that he was granted the love he could not kindle for his new family. Chris asks about Eva’s “real” family – she vaguely mentions a brother and it seems he was not particularly kind to Eva. Eva (and her name is Eva, I imagine, to be like that of Eve, the first mother ever in Christian mythology) – Eva says, “The family you’re born into isn’t really family. Those are just people you didn’t choose. You have to make family” (Schuur 28).
In expressing this, Eva is expressing the feelings of very real people, many of whom are in Hannibal’s audience, who have been disowned by their families. Or, people who have had to walk away from their own families in order to preserve their own safety and sanity. Families are rent apart for all reasons under the sun, but the ones I hear of most often are because of neglect, abuse, and marginalization. Children are disowned by their parents for all sorts of reasons – the child is queer or the child doesn’t want to be a doctor or the child isn’t religious or the child has an addiction or the child suffers from mental illness or for whatever shitty reason the disowning parent needs to make themselves feel justified. But also, children cut their parents off all the time too – for similar or equally shitty reasons. These people then go on to create new families wherever they can find them – at work, in the military, at school, online, at the gym, or in their own minds.
If a family member is hurting you and won’t stop and you are able to get away, you owe it to yourself to do so. I would never, ever say that someone should stay in a situation where they are unsafe or unhappy or in danger. Many people need their new families like air because their real families will never be mended – the gap will never be bridged and in many cases shouldn’t be. But to loop back to Louise Hay, I must offer her wisdom again, “We are all victims of victims.” Families, all of them, of every ilk, are messy. No one emerges unscathed. No one.
In the next scene, we see Will alone in his classroom at Quantico, sitting at his desk, studying photos of Jesse Turner and Connor Frist. The beautiful and badass Beverly Katz comes in. Will tells her he believes all of the Lost Boys have ADHD because they are small for their age and this could indicate they have been taking meds that have stunted their growth. Bev informs Will that Price has identified the gun that killed Mrs. Frist; it was used to kill C.J. Lincoln’s mother a year ago.
Now, we see all of Team Sassy Science, Jack, and Will looking at a picture of C.J. along with his juvenile criminal record on a screen. They bandy about theories about C.J. Will does not believe he is the ringleader. He believes the leader to be a still older boy.
Meanwhile, Eva’s family of Lost Boys are at a convenience store. As young Chris stands next to Eva at the cash register, C.J. glares at Chris from behind a shelf of soda bottles. C.J.’s eyes are as flat and cold as a sheet of ice. The boy is dead inside. Chris is terrified. He involuntarily urinates all over himself. When Eva discovers Chris’ now wet state, she cleans up the puddles using napkins from the counter and tries to console Chris, though she is completely unaware of the cause of Chris’ distress. I guess being a murdering criminal really doesn’t prepare a person for sudden motherhood of mentally disturbed children. Gosh, who woulda thunk it?
We shift now back to Abigail Hobbs’ very posh psychiatric hospital. (I find myself wondering who is paying for Abigail’s stay in the upscale sanitarium. The FBI? Based on the state of health insurance in America, I doubt her parents’ insurance is covering it. That and both her parents are dead. I wonder if Hannibal is paying for it. I wonder if legally Jack could have allowed Hannibal to bankroll Abigail’s recovery. Hannibal has the money, trust me. I will discuss my theories about the source of Hannibal’s funds in a later post, but let’s just say it’s a combo of family money and dead people money.)
Hannibal invites Abigail to leave the hospital for the evening and come to his house so he can make her a proper dinner. Abigail questions whether the hospital administration will allow her to leave after her egregious wall-climbing episode in “Potage.” Hannibal’s response to her is very significantly phrased: “You could say I’m one of your guardians” (Schuur 31). The foundation of Hannibal’s House is almost complete – the pillars have been sunk. Just need to wait for the concrete to dry.
Hannibal tells her he will have her back by bedtime. As Abigail gets ready to leave with Hannibal, she comments about how much she dislikes being in group therapy. She cannot be open in group because she cannot tell them about her murder of Nick Boyle. Hannibal says, “You must only lie about one thing. And when you’re with me, you don’t have to lie about anything” (Schuur 31A). The purpose of this comment is twofold. First, it is more of Hannibal preparing the way for his Murder Family – all families have secrets, silly ones and painful ones and all kinds of hidden information. Hannibal is now the only person in the world Abigail can tell the truth to – Hannibal has effectively isolated her from everyone, even people like Alana who are actively trying to help Abigail in good faith. This in Hannibal is classic narcissist behavior and we see him do it with almost everyone he really cares for – Abigail, Bedelia, and especially Will. The second purpose of this comment is that Hannibal is absolutely convinced that Abigail helped her father kill his victims and he wants Abigail to come clean with him, Hannibal keeps secrets like he keeps business cards, but if he has identified you as someone that belongs to him, you are not allowed a single secret of your own. He will poke around in your underwear drawer or your subconscious or both until he gets the truth. I suppose one could look at their subconscious as the underwear drawer of their mind. If so, both of mine could use a good cleaning. Anyway…
Act Four begins in Hannibal’s kitchen, the setting of many important scenes in the series. It makes me think about the tried-and-true principle that when a person throws a party, no matter how large or luxurious the rest of the house is, the bulk of the partygoers wind up in the kitchen. A good deal of the things that happen in Hannibal’s kitchen could not be termed as “parties,” but there definitely is a lot of action and drama in this room. Hannibal is making breakfast for dinner, a recipe, in fact called, High Life Eggs. Should you like to recreate this recipe, you must immediately acquire yourself a copy of Janice Poon’s Feeding Hannibal. Janice was the food stylist for the series. She is an amazing chef, stylist, and person to boot. She loves her Fannibal Family and the book is resplendent with full color photos and a foreword by Mads himself. No Fannibal library is complete without a copy. High Life Eggs is eggs and sausage. It looks delicious.
As Hannibal cooks, Abigail stands in the kitchen and the two discuss her future. She discovers that on a side counter Hannibal is steeping mushrooms in a teapot. He encourages Abigail to drink the tea, laced with the fungi’s psilocybin, to help her process the traumatic memories of her father. Abigail agrees.
Now back at the BAU, Team Sassy Science and Jack and Will are looking at a case board filled with photos of the Lost Boys and the timeline of their abductions and the subsequent family murders. The boys are traveling southbound, but since none of them are of driving age, the team is confused as to how they are moving that way. This is the moment that the idea of an adult who is traveling with the group enters Will’s mind. He determines that the boys have been capture-bonded to this adult who now serves as their new master. Based on Will’s hunch, Jack expands his search.
We return to Hannibal’s kitchen where Abigail Hobbs is now totally on a full-blown shroom trip. In her inebriated state, she drops a teacup on the kitchen floor and watches it shatter. This is the introduction to one of Hannibal’s most predominant and important motifs. The provenance of this motif in Harris’ work will be discussed in a later post, but it would be remiss of me not to mention the first occurrence of the teacup, a symbol of fraught and delicate meaning in the series. Hannibal explains that Alana would not approve of him giving psilocybin to Abigail, but that it will be one of “many secrets” the two of them will share (Schuur 36). It occurs to me at this point that Hannibal “capture-bonds” people to him just as Eva does – well, with definitely more nuance and finesse, but the philosophy is the same. Because Hannibal knows about Abigail’s murder of Nick Boyle and has helped her cover it up, he always has this secret to use against her, and should she get out of line, it is the threat of the revelation of that secret that keeps her bound to Hannibal. Much, much later, Alana calls it blackmail and she is absolutely correct. Abigail also stays connected to Hannibal because let’s face it – he’s damned charming and seems to give her exactly what she needs. If you need an attentive daddy and aren’t very picky about his criminal record, one could do a lot worse that Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
Abigail begins experiencing the nauseous phase of a hallucinogenic trip. Hannibal coaches her through it, and tells her to lean into her feelings. She muses dreamily that Hannibal is making breakfast for dinner. Then, a very crucial dialogue exchange occurs.
ABIGAIL HOBBS: Eggs and sausage was the last meal I was having with my parents.
HANNIBAL: I know. It’s also the first meal you’re having with me.
Again, Hannibal proves himself to be an astonishingly devious motherfucker. The meal selection is purposeful. The mushroom tea is purposeful. In Abigail’s state of enhanced consciousness, her senses will be teased with the nostalgia of the smells and tastes of her family kitchen – but now, instead of her father preparing that same meal, she will see Hannibal. The smells, the tastes, the memories will all blur together and Hannibal will become her new father. Although Hannibal’s weapon of choice is a good knife, throughout the series, he also wields a more subtle one – drugs. He drugs so many people in the series it is difficult to list them all. As a doctor, he is aware of all the medications, both natural and synthetic that can be used to warp the human mind. And he makes use of them all. If you don’t love him, he’ll dose you with scopolamine and flashy lights until you do. Like I said, Hannibal gets what he wants – no matter what.
The significance of the breakfast meal reaches a higher note when the viewer realizes at the end of the episode that the other person Hannibal intended to be sitting at the dining room table with he and Abigail was Will Graham. If Will hadn’t been otherwise engaged, Hannibal’s plan to cement the foundations of his family that night over sausage and eggs might have been successful.
Hannibal and Will both have, in their own ways, tried to place themselves in Abigail’s life as new family members, new fathers. The difference is in intention and execution. Will stumbles into this new fatherhood and seems to have only the best hopes for Abigail, although his own motives seem confusing to him. Hannibal executes his plan with precision and solid intent. Since “Apéritif,” he has incrementally been making both Will and Abigail more accustomed to the idea of the three of them as a family. He insinuates the idea into their subconscious minds and he also states it just flat out to their faces. Hannibal comes at you from all sides. When he wants something, Hannibal will get it by hook, by crook, or if you are unlucky, by something sharper.
Back at the BAU, Alana has come in to help Jack’s team try to identify the Peter Pan of the group of Lost Boys. She and Will and Bev all look at files and photos of kids who have gone missing and fit the basic profile Will has worked up. Through discussion and teamwork, they pull out the file of Chris O’Halloran as a possible Lost Boy. When Alana says that the boys are like, “brothers looking for a mother,” everything clicks in Will’s mind (Schuur 39).
Will goes to talk to Jack. He tells Jack that the leader of the boys is a woman who is “looking to form a family” (Schuur 39). Jack says, “Family can have a contagion effect on the alienated. You adopt the same behaviors” (Schuur 39).
This, of course, is exactly what is happening to Will and Abigail as Hannibal’s contagion works its way into their system. Will, as an empath, is already known for adopting the behaviors of those around him, even down to their ways of speaking and physical gestures. But, like Hannibal, Will is becoming more protective of Abigail. Like Hannibal, Abigail is lying more often, and is learning how to lie better. And they both are becoming more reliant on Hannibal. The virus is already in their system. I would imagine that under a super-powered microscope, the Hannibal virus wears a little three-piece suit and you can hear strains of a tiny piano playing The Goldberg Variations. It’s absolutely true and you can’t convince me otherwise.
The BAU team then comes up with video camera footage of Chris O’Halloran in a convenience store with Eva. Chris’ family lives in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and so the team gears up to descend on that home.
Act Four ends with Chris on the front doorstep of his family home, ringing the doorbell. His mother opens the door and is overwhelmed with joy to see her missing son returned to her. Until C.J. steps onto the porch holding a gun.
Act Five begins with an FBI SWAT team and all of Team Sassy Science and Jack and Will storming into the back yard of the O’Halloran home. The boys are holding Chris’ family hostage at gunpoint around a barbeque grill. SWAT shoots and kills C.J. Chris runs. As Jack and the rest of the team tend to Jesse Turner and the O’Halloran family, the patriarch of which has been wounded, Will catches up with Chris by the pool. Chris has a gun. Will begins coaxing Chris to put the gun down. The boy is conflicted, confused. Eva suddenly steps out from behind the pool house and settles in behind Chris. She drapes her arm in a motherly embrace around Chris’ neck, revealing her firearm. She commands Chris to kill Will. Will begins baiting Eva. He questions the horrible things she has done to the boys, her “family” she supposedly loves – she kidnapped them; she forces them to kill people. At this point, Eva says something that is very key to our lesson.
EVA: I’m honoring them like their other mothers wouldn’t. They’re not invisible anymore. I can see them. I see who they are and love them (Schuur 40A).
Seeing and being seen is one of the most dominant and recurring themes in Hannibal. Acceptance and understanding are as well. More about that in my conclusion.
Eva continues to push Chris to shoot Will. Chris freezes. When Eva raises her own weapon to fire at Will, from behind him, there is a shot. The camera cuts to show that the shot has come from Beverly Katz. Eva is hit in the shoulder. As she falls, Chris is released. Bev takes the kid away and Eva is arrested.
We now see Chris sitting in the back seat of Jack Crawford’s car. Jack gets in the driver’s seat and turns over his shoulder to talk to Chris. Jack is preparing Chris for the long hours of questioning and court proceedings that are in his future. Chris asks about jail and then says of Eva, “She told me they weren’t my family. That we had to make our own family” (Schuur 43A). Chris asks to speak to his real mom, but Jack tells him that can’t happen until later, probably after a good deal of interrogation. Jack takes Chris away.
Now, at Hannibal’s house, we see that Alana has arrived and is laying into Hannibal about checking Abigail out of the hospital without her permission. In a line that is absolutely hilarious to the #FannibalFamily, Alana says, “Rude, Hannibal. Shockingly rude” (Schuur 43A). It has all sorts of implications, but I find myself most often wondering if Hannibal could lop off a small bit of himself for Alana to eat or even more to the point, if he could find a small piece of his body that he could eat himself. The rude get eaten. Hannibal is definitely more than a snack. He's a five-course meal.
Hannibal apologizes. He tells Alana that she was right, that Abigail was not yet ready to leave the hospital. She suffered some distress and so Hannibal has given her “half a valium” (Schuur 44). The two go into the dining room, where Abigail sits, her eyes watery with stoned emotion. Alana sits in the place at the table that was meant for Will. Abigail smiles brightly and stares at Hannibal and Alana. The image of her two guardians shift into a beautiful image of her parents. When Hannibal asks her what she sees, Abigail says, “I see family” (Schuur 45). The episode ends.
And now dear readers, the LESSON.
To which you say, “Oh my God, about fucking time!”
I promised you a lesson. I never promised brevity.
Outside of Hannibal, in the non-fiction world, some people are lucky enough to have “real” family members who are kind and reliable people. Still, many people have to leave their “real” families behind and find and make their own. I have delineated the reasons people must walk away from family before – abuse, neglect, or any shade of agony along the spectrum of wielded pain.
Many people are crucified by their families for being the one thing those family members cannot tolerate – DIFFERENT.
When I was a little girl, I loved Mr. Rogers. I still do. I love him with all my heart. One of the reasons I loved good ol’ Fred was because every single day, he told me, “You’ve made this day a special day by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are” (Fred Rogers, every day).
And so the lesson…
“REAL” FAMILY LOVES US FOR EXACTLY WHO WE ARE.
They love our strengths and our weaknesses. They love our admirable traits and our not so admirable ones. They love our morning breath, and our crappy dancing, and our little idiosyncrasies. They love the big things about us too. They don’t shame us for being who we are and they don’t try to change us to fit some ridiculous standard that they deem to be more “acceptable.”
They love our scars as much as our smiles.
If your own family doesn’t love you like this – get you a new one. Even if you have to make it.
Just don’t kill anybody.
Try social media. I hear tell there’s lots of folks there.
By the way, I must send MUCH, MUCH LOVE to my #FannibalFamily.
Eva was wrong. You can have more than one family. I have two.
Here endeth the lesson…
References:
Freedman, Adrianna. “54 Ron Swanson Quotes from ‘Parks and Recreation’ Guaranteed to Make You Laugh.” Men’s Health, www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a34774462/ron-swanson-quotes. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023.
Harris, Thomas. Hannibal. New York, Delacorte Press, 1999.
Harris, Thomas. Red Dragon. New York, Berkley, 2000.
Hay, Louise. You Can Heal Your Life. New York, Hay House, Inc., 2004.
Rogers, Fred. The thing he said on every single episode of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.
Schuur, Jennifer. Writer. “Oeuf.” Hannibal, season 1, episode 4, Chiswick Productions, 2012.
“Sound and Vision – David Bowie.” Lyrics.com, www.lyrics.com/lyric/32096867/David+Bowie/Sound+and+Vision . Accessed 18 Jan. 2023.
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court case
Charlie’s still in disbelief about it. That his entire relationship – his entire history – with Carrie just came down to a court case. A court case that’s settled. A court case that’s over. A court case that will only remain on paper and in his memories.
When you get married, you don’t think about your divorce. At least, you don’t when you’re a musical romantic like Charlie. When he agreed to marry Carrie Sullivan, it was because he loved her, and the idea of living a life without her felt like … nothing. Even before he knew he loved her, he thinks he must have known he would marry her. Carrie was the expectation. The goal. Once he got Carrie, then everything would be OK. Then that gaping hole in his chest would be filled, and he wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
So, he married her. Loved her until his knuckles were stark white and his face was beet red. But it didn’t matter. Because no matter how deeply Charlie loved Carrie, that hole was still there. And it was getting deeper.
So, they had a baby. Cordelia Soren Doyle, the prettiest baby there ever was. When she was first born, first growing into herself, she looked so much like Charlie. He loved that. He loved when people pointed it out. He loved being able to joke that his baby was, of course, the cuter one. But no matter how much he loved Cordelia, no matter how much he enjoyed watching her grow up and find her own personality, it didn’t do anything to fix the hole.
When Sam died, the hole was deeper and darker than ever. Carrie kicked him out. She didn’t want to be swallowed whole when she was already partially drowning. Charlie understood. He moved out and looked for other ways to fill that hole. How did it get there, anyway? He asked the question but gave himself no time to answer it. He was just looking for something to seal it up.
Sex with younger women at the jazz bar didn’t help, no matter how voraciously they complimented his piano playing (or how voraciously they did anything, for that matter). Sex with Elenore didn’t help, and Charlie was quite sure – even then – that he loved her. Getting back together with Carrie didn’t help, and having Cal and Veronica didn’t help. Every good thing almost made the emptiness feel worse. When Carrie asked for a divorce, for real this time, Charlie was all too quick to agree. Everything felt like shit in 2020, anyway. Divorce from the woman he was always supposed to love might as well just … happen.
Everything was over in a court case.
A court case that ended less than twenty-four hours ago.
Charlie’s not really sure where he should go next. His mother keeps calling him to see how he’s doing, but he doesn’t want to answer. For the first time in his life, he knows he’s not Oedipus. That he never wanted to be. And that gives him an idea.
He takes out his phone.
Maybe there’s a place where he can leave a message.
(part of @nosebleedclub march challenge -- day 22!)
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I collected a list of my stories whose chapters have titles for fun and because I am extremely autistic about lists and such. Includes notes on literary references!
BEFORE SHE CALLS THEM TO DINNER
(i) may all my attempts be fruitful and tender
(ii) singing - la la - they go
(iii) the missing rib
(iv) lamento
(v) stay a while, thou art so -
(vi) un, deux
(vii) it was almost morning when Filip arrived at the terminal
notes: (i) refers to a mother's wish to have children and the poignant dissonance between this and the way early childbirth influenced Laura (ii) is a quote from Chuuya Nakahara (iii) refers to the biblical story of Adam and Eve (iv) refers to the Nitro Chiral VN (v) a quote from Goethe's Faust (vi) just "one, two" in French, but it is taken from World's End Dancehall (vii) a quote from The Return of Filip Latinovicz
THESE BODIES MADE OF GRAVE DIRT
I temptation
II consummation
notes: pretty standard meanings. the story is about sex.
CURTAIN CALL
1. Prometheus Bound x Silk Rope, not Nylon x London Bridge is Falling Down
2. Oedipus the King x Plague upon Troy x With More Heart, Dear Customer
3. Iphigenia in Tauris x Sado-Maso Waltz x Eighth House Stellium
notes: Each chapter contains the title of a tragedy from one of the three Greek masters, some sort of an omen of misfortune and an allusion to sex. (1) Prometheus Bound is a tragedy from Aeschylus, silk rope refers to bondage and London Bridge is Falling Down is... from Black Butler to be honest (2) Oedipus the King is a tragedy from Sophocles, plague upon Troy refers to an event from the Iliad and the third part paraphrases a verse from Anna no Musica (3) Iphigenia in Tauris is a tragedy from Eurpides, the second part is self explanatory and the eighth house stellium was once mentioned to me to be the worst possible thing thing on a birth chart
TO ESTABLISH TIES
I...Youth and Death
II...Dither
III...After Dark
notes: (I) Youth and Death is a play by Ryuunosuke Akutagawa (II) This is just a fitting word that I like (III) After Dark is a book by Haruki Murakami
AND EVERY DAY IS SUNDAY
I...Thus far obtained
II...The little lower road
III...The gaps of sunlight
IV...Trees, play your part discreetly
V...These my frail bones
VI...Voyage sans retour
VII...Well then, goodbye, he said
VIII...I forgot about everything then and gently contemplated time
notes: (I) just a phrase (II) allusion to the Palace Perspective essays (III) Mitski verse (IV, ,V, VII, VIII) Nakahara quotes (VI) Malice Mizer album
WRITING THAT'S TOO GOOD FOR ITS OWN GOOD
I ... linger
II ... the ends
III ... Fritzspiel
IV ... en garde
notes: (I) just a word (II) an allusion to "these violent delights have violent ends" (III) A play by Boris Senker (IV) alludes to Toreador from Carmen
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For the ask game, 1 and 24.
the character everyone gets wrong
I said Steve the last time I did this (and I do think he gets it the worst) and while Loki is the obvious runner-up, I find that the Thor films (+ A1, IW, Loki) are so inconsistent that tbh, that's more understandable. So -- Natasha. There's a huge tendency throughout the fandom to flatten Natasha out in ways that are wildly inconsistent with her actual portrayal in canon, some of which is spillover from comics, some of which is just taking her at face value, some of which is just being unwilling to pay attention to what's onscreen. Like, the number of times I see people being unwilling to acknowledge that Natasha is Clint's best friend? A lot! Or that Natasha is (minus five minutes in CACW) consistently on Steve's side, not even in a shippy way? Also a lot! Or -- this might be a more cosplay-specific one, but I've seen it in fic and edits and art as well, the idea that Natasha is very...I'm probably going to use the wrong word here, but that Natasha is very, very femme, in a "always wears bold makeup, paints her nails, red lip, has her tits out" kind of way. The only time we see Natasha do that kind of, mm, performative femininity is IM2 and the beginning of The Avengers when she's literally not being herself and I'd also make a strong argument for AoU here, though with AoU I do think she's deliberately presenting herself in that specific for PR purposes. (Besides, you know, Joss Whedon being terrible about her.) Obviously there is a certain amount that's there because this is a movie and everything is a little more exaggerated. Like, even though in all movies but one Natasha is in heels or wedges in her tactical gear it's at least partially because they have to get 5'3" ScarJo into the same frame as all their six-foot tall boys as well as being ~sexy; Natasha is probably not wearing 3-inch wedges into a fight, and we know that because none of her shoes in BW have a heel/wedge on them. (I also strongly suspect BW may be the only film where she's wearing a sports bra in the suits.) Some of it is probably spillover from comics, because comics Natasha is more femme fatale-ish than MCU Natasha.
(Obviously for cosplay purposes do whatever the hell you want, these are just trends I've noticed; I am in this community too, which is why I see it come up over and over again in the first place. This is the only time I've gone "wow, I do not have the tits for this," which is actually quite disconcerting if it's never come up as ~something to be self-conscious about before.)
Some of it is also fandom's general propensity to flatten female characters in general -- the team mom thing, the only one with the braincell thing, the femme fatale thing, etc. Like, yes, it's funny the first ten times, and then it's "...we're really not watching the same movies, huh?"
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
this is more like a "top five" topics than a single one SO in no particular order
was baby Loki kidnapped or rescued (child abandonment was and is a real thing, but in ancient/medieval cultures it is both (a) real and legal and (b) a common mythological trope, have you never heard of Oedipus)
Sokovia Accords and everything surrounding them (even canon regretted this one, which is kind of a shame because I would have liked to see the MCU treat it seriously after CACW -- only Ant-Man and the Wasp and Black Widow actually started to deal with it, and it got resolved offscreen years later in She-Hulk)
did the Asgardians deserve to be genocided (what the hell is wrong with you people, why have I been in real fandoms where this is a real question)
Loki/Sylvie (not my ship, I don't care, but hoo boy)
is Endgame good or bad (woof)
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raves about the atlas paradox!
so basically TAP is like my favorite book of the year and I loved it so damn much like more than babel like can you IMAGINE?!?!?! more than BABEL??? omg like I'm gonna do a proper review this week on my booksta but I loved this one ever MORE than ta6 and I didn't even think that was possible, this book was like a comfort to me like reading it felt like home it felt like my happy place it's the kind of thing I crave intensely it's the best blend of scifi-fantasy and cosmology and it's so easy for me to slip into olivie's narrative voice ugh
like as soon as she got into the philosophy and the physics I inhaled and was like yessss this is what I need in my life this is what I love and omg like the way she structured the story to keep it character-driven and like a whole socratic discussion??? amazing like wow like I swear that there's about 3 different paradoxes and loops in terms of the structure of the story
callum. callum nova. like I post about callum all the time so I think it's a given that he's my favorite and I was just so happy he was still as deranged and sad and maniacal as I would have hoped and OMG this boy not only has an oedipus complex but is hilarious and petty and I don't believe in astrology at all (because, Muslim) but he's very much a leo moon... and on the note of callum, he very much gives me Dark Fic Draco energy more and more like in the first book I was getting those vibes and was like "maybe it's cus he's blond and rich and evil" but nah he has the right amount of aristocratic pomp and sad boi vibes and he's defending draco's twin idc and on that note libby is evil hermione and don't bother fighting me on that
I just absolutely loved the characters dynamics and the fact that the whole book explored new dynamics like the character dynamics in olivie's works is ten times more important than plot and I love it like that like each voice is just so distinct and fushhsjsja like callum and reina had me SHORT CIRCUITING like bruh I loved it
and on that note, I notice the book only has a 3.86 on goodreads which is suspiciously low for a big sequel that's entirely in the vein of its first book (proof booktok viralism is not real) and I think it's because 1. people wanted the book to be nicolibby and GUESS WHAT HOES THIS BOOK IS BIGGER THAN NICOLIBBY like I love nicolibby but cmon, the fact that there's not much nicolibby is not an excuse to low-rate the book cus you have MISSED the point fo sho like I will eviscerate the people giving TAP 1 star because there wasn't enough nicolibby like??? way to be predictable
and 2. people just can't handle the fact that the dark academia book is ACADEMIC and teaches you things and messes with you and ignores all morality and that's the POINT of good academia it can't just "be gay do crimes" like academia is about life and life is about conflict and conflict is about philosophy, like of course the book is about consciousness so if you're looking for a traditional book then you're looking in the wrong place... like would you read lolita if you hate reading the thoughts and justification of bad people NO you wouldn't and literally olivie's setup for this book is "the bachelor but with law students but magical" and that's the POINT it's not about what's right or wrong it's about what you CAN do within the frame of the so-called rules until you write your own rulebook ya feel
like the sheer use of synthesis and irony and paradox in this book is amazing it's supposed to be a study in academia and a study of the psyche by making sure the ensemble are all walking hyperboles it's not mindless entertainment like olivie makes you work for it and I like an easy read now and then too but people saying the book is "pretentious" like lmfao? a book on academia? a book about philosophy and physics is "pretentious"? lmfao. say you missed the point of the genre and GO @ olivie haters
#the atlas paradox#the atlas six#the atlas 6#ta6#olivie blake#nicolibby#dark academia#dark academia books#books and literature
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