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666writingcafe · 26 days

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The Adventure Begins

Levi's overacting. Again. The only reason it wasn't obvious during the school play was because Simeon kept him reined in. Levi gets excited quite easily, and it causes him to get lost in whatever role he's playing.

I'll have to ask Simeon, but I don't think he intended the Lord of Shadow to act so...dramatically? badly? I don't know how to describe it, really. It just isn't very good.

Unlike MC. I'm not sure why I like their acting better, especially since they're currently matching Levi's energy. Maybe it's because they're intentionally hamming it up. They did mumble an apology to me before they started talking to him, after all, so they must know that Levi's acting isn't the best.

Satan's isn't much better, either. He's not as over-the-top as Levi, but I don't find him convincing as the "villain" of this story. If anything, he'd make a good anti-hero, but Solomon probably didn't want to make things too complicated.

Solomon's not a very good author.

However, I'm choosing to keep all this to myself, because the point of all this is to help MC get their first star. Lucifer, on the other hand, is having a hard time suspending his disbelief. So, I understand why MC told him to shut up. I just hope they're prepared to get their ass handed to them once Lucifer's back to normal size, because while he has a soft spot for MC, he doesn't like being silenced. Messes with his pride.

Speaking of which...the stars.

They represent the seven virtues, which are direct opposites of our sins. For me, that virtue is temperance. Solomon probably knows this, but he may not realize the full extent of my relationship with temperance.

Once upon a time, I was able to control myself and my urges. Until I wasn't. For my brothers, their sin was triggered by specific events; that wasn't the case for me. It just...happened. And I didn't realize it until it was too late.

Now, it's what most people know me for. They think I'm a meathead that only thinks about food. Even my brothers.

Which isn't fair.

Why are they allowed to have complex personalities, but not me? Why can they participate in mentally stimulating activities, while I'm cast off to the side and dismissed as too dumb to understand any of it? It's never made sense to me.

I think that's part of why I like MC so much. They're the first person in a really, really long time that sees me beyond my sin. They actually listen to what I have to say and seem to value my opinion, even if it's not related to food or sports.

Yet somehow, deep inside, I don't fully trust them. I think it's coming from my subconscious. Somewhere in there lives a hurt angel that feels like everyone he cares about will die and leave him behind. And in a way, it's true.

Lilith may have been the only person in our little family that actually lost their life, but my brothers barely resemble what they were in the Celestial Realm. It's weird. They wear the same faces, but they're completely different people. Sometimes, I feel like they're complete strangers, or perhaps taken over by aliens.

Oddly, the one person I can rely on to stay the same is Satan. Then again, he didn't have his own form until we arrived in the Devildom, so this version of him is all I've ever known.

"Beel?"

Shit.

I missed a lot, didn't I?

"Are you okay? You seem out of it."

"I could say the same to you." Why is that the first thing that comes out of my mouth? I sound like a jerk.

MC merely sighs as they sit next to me on the...bed? I take a proper look at my surroundings and realize that we're in a hotel room of some kind. Lucifer appears to be sleeping on the nightstand, using tissues as both pillow and blanket.

"Wanna go first, or shall I?" Interesting question. They don't seem upset at me.

"Your call." MC rests their head on my shoulder.

"Simeon needs my help making an important decision." Their tone indicates something serious.

"With what?" MC sighs again.

"His future." Huh? Why would an angel need a human's help with that? I know that the two of them are fairly close, but still.

"But that's neither here nor there," they quickly add, sighing. "It's not like I can do anything about it now." They glance up at me. "What's on your mind?"

"My past."

"As an angel?" I nod.

"Back then, the only thing that mattered to people was that I was strong. I wanted to be useful, so I decided to become a soldier and fight for the Celestial Realm. Problem was, I had trouble controlling my powers."

"Like I did before receiving the Ring?"

"You know, I hadn't really thought about it until you said it, but yeah. I suppose we have that in common. In your case, everyone had your back, which is good, because I wouldn't have wanted you to go through that experience the way I did." MC sits up and properly looks at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I would destroy something--even though most of the time it was a complete accident--Raphael would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it. I think he started calling me the Hulk at one point, but it was meant as an insult." I pause.

"At least he had the decency to do it to my face. Lots of angels would talk shit about me behind my back. They thought I was too stupid to pick up on it, but I knew. They acted overly sweet towards me whenever I would walk in the room. Condescending, even. It was like I was a dumb kid to them." MC places a hand on my thigh and pats it.

"Sounds depressing," they remark.

"It was. Oddly enough, the one person in authority that didn't treat me that way was Lucifer. I initially thought he was too busy with his duties to really care about much else, but then one day he approached me and started talking to me. We had a legitimate conversation."

"About?"

"He told me to keep in mind that being a Celestial Realm soldier wasn't about attacking--"

"--but protecting." We must have woken Lucifer up. "You had the power to protect everyone--to keep them safe--and that you shouldn't feel bad because you were special. If you learned to control your powers, I'd recommend you to the cherubim and have you serve as a Celestial Realm gatekeeper. You did, and so I kept my promise." Lucifer beckons MC to pick him up and bring him closer to me.

"MC and I may be connected by the Ring of Light, but the two of you have a strong connection as well," he continues. "You're both motivated by the need to protect the ones you love, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process. Drawing on that similarity is going to be the key to pass Solomon's test."

"Are you saying Solomon knew we had that in common?" MC asks incredulously.

"No. I did. I simply passed the knowledge along to him."

"How long--"

"The rooftop."

"Of Dogi Magi?" I'm glad MC understands what he's referring to, because I'm completely lost. Must have been something I wasn't involved with.

"You knew that Belphie would hurt you if you went against his order to reject me, but you did it anyway."

"I didn't want to lie to you."

"Because that would have meant hurting his feelings." Asmo may have used his powers to pick up on Lucifer's crush on MC early on, but I knew pretty much from the moment they set eyes on each other. Granted, he was more attracted to their soul initially, but who could blame him? It was bright and shiny, even back then. If we weren't under orders to not eat them, then they wouldn't have made it out of the assembly hall alive. Even Diavolo was struggling to contain himself.

Anyway, the point is MC cared enough about Lucifer in that moment to feel the need to protect him.

Just like I felt the need to protect Lucifer after I became a cherub.

MC's going to get their star.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #basically what i'm doing with beel is depicting him as someone constantly in his head #and not in the 'i wonder what i'll eat next' kind of way #but instead having him silently observe what's happening around him and mentally commentate on it #sometimes it involves going on little rambles as certain things remind him of other things #but i'm trying to showcase someone who's able to pick up on people's personalities and feeling #simply by watching them interact with the world around them #i think he's emotionally intelligent #that doesn't always transfer to academia #but it is an important type of intelligence #because it helps guide interactions with real people in real situations #also #headcanon that lucifer was the last one to realize/accept that he had a crush on mc #asmo and beel may have picked up on it first #but eventually the others caught on #even the other exchange students #and diavolo #cue relentless teasing from diavolo to lucifer #diavolo: you have feelings for mc #lucifer: no i don't #diavolo: yes you do #and they'd go back and forth about it #diavolo just wanted his friend/occasional lover to be happy #and he thought mc was good for lucifer #so he rooted for them to get together #and was happy when they did

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languages-with-ian · 1 year

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Could you talk about Gaelic? How many people are speak it today?

Indeed I can!

SCOTTISH GAELIC

"Gaelic" as a term can refer to any of the Goidelic branch of languages, which includes Irish, Scottish Gaelic, and Manx. HOWEVER, since today (November 30th) is Saint Andrew's Day, Scotland's national day, let's talk about Gàidhlig na h-Alba, or Scottish Gaelic! Latha Naomh Anndra sona dhuibh!

When referring to Scottish Gaelic, we pronounce the word "Gaelic" not as "gey-lick" but as "gal-lick", owing to its native pronunciation (which you can listen to here).

BEFORE THIS POST GETS TOO LONG, I urge the reader to consider learning this language! It's the source of my name after all ("Ian" is a form of "Iain" or "Eòin", both Gaelic forms of "John") and is the heritage language of as many as 40 million people worldwide. Even if you don't claim any Scottish ancestry, it's a beautiful and poetic language tied to an equally beautiful and poetic culture! Use it as a code language with your friends, read some classic Gaelic literature, or even pay a visit to Scotland and smugly read Gaelic road signs off to your friends/family/tour guide! (They'll love it, I promise.) I personally have been learning via Duolingo and other online resources for about 8 months now. And remember, "Is fheàrr Gàidhlig bhriste na Gàidhlig sa chiste" (better broken Gaelic than Gaelic in the coffin).

As of the 2011 Census, the total number of people within Scotland itself that can speak the language is about 57,000 people, or 1.1% of the population [1]. This is indeed a relatively small number, and according to the Endangered Languages Project the language is "Threatened", but the Scottish Government has produced Gaelic Language Plans about every five years since the passage of the Gaelic Language (Scotland) Act 2005. These plans ensure government commitment to the survival and growth of the language, and indeed the decline in speakers has slowed since 2000, and with luck these trends will reverse in the coming years.

In fact, on October 14 of this year, the Scottish Government released an updated language plan outlining the next five years of government initiatives for the language.

But what is this language?

WARNING: INCOMING HISTORY LESSON!

Scottish Gaelic is a Celtic language that was brought to the west coast of Scotland from Ireland by settlers (named "Scoti" by the Romans) sometime between 300 and 500 CE. These settlers soon established the Kingdom of Dál Riata (a name which means "Riata's territory"). This kingdom maintained close ties with Ulster (roughly modern Northern Ireland), and it was during this early period that Christianity began to take hold across Scotland, with such figures as Saint Columba founding monasteries and institutions of learning. What is today Scotland was fractured between four broad people groups at this point - the Gaels in the west, the Picts in the east, the Angles of Northumbria and Berenicia in the southeast, and the Britons of Strathclyde in the south.

With Christianity came the rapid spread of the Gaelic language into lands outside Gaelic control, especially into the Kingdom of the Picts. Eventually, in the 860s-870s, a certain group called the Vikings appeared. (You may have heard of them.) It was at this time that Scotland unified against a common threat, solidifying the bond between the (likely) Brittonic-speaking Picts and the Gaelic-speaking Scots. Over time, Pictish identity was completely lost (leaving behind difficult-to-decipher standing stones scattered across the countryside), and a unified Kingdom of Alba appeared. (Alba means Scotland - and it's not pronounced how you might think.) Between about 1000 and 1200, Gaelic reached its greatest geographic extent, being spoken across Scotland (the islands at this time were ruled by Vikings, which I'll cover in a later post; however, Gaelic was still spoken, at least in the Western Isles). Some people argue that it was never spoken south of Lothian, but place-name evidence from the Borders calls this into question somewhat (name prefixes such as "bal-" and "kil-" are telltale signs of Gaelic settlements).

Malcolm III (of Macbeth fame), also known as Malcolm Canmore ("ceann mòr", or "big head"), married an Anglo-Saxon princess named Margaret, who had no Gaelic. It was at this time, around 1070, that the first signs of a decline in the language began to appear. Margaret brought English-speaking monks to the Lowlands, in effect drawing a cultural border between Lowlands and Highlands.

By the mid-1300s, Scots, a sister language of English (NOT a dialect!), had become the language of the courts and of the parliament. England, in all its ambition, turned its eyes northward, necessitating an independence struggle (or two, or three...), although this resistance was carried out using Scots (then dubbed "Inglis"), not Gaelic (then "Scottis").

By the time the above image was current (c. 1400), Scottish Gaelic had almost completely split away from Irish, though the written languages were (and to a rough extent, still are) rather mutually intelligible.

Over time, Gaelic became further and further marginalized by Scots. Various government initiatives worked expressly against the language, incentivizing or otherwise encouraging Highlanders to speak the "educated tongue" of the Lowlands. In Scots, Gaelic was called "Erse" (roughly, "Irish"), in a popular effort to "de-Scottify" the language. James VI (and I)'s reign marked a significant downturn in the language's usage. The language was seen as backwards, rebellious, and Catholic (a big no-no in an officially Protestant nation). The language was looked down upon in schools (not to mention broader society) from the 1600s up through the early 1900s, and English became the language of upward mobility for Highlanders and Islanders.

Fuadaichean nan Gàidheal, the Highland Clearances, were a result of the failed Jacobite rebellions throughout the 1700s and the imposition of new systems of land management and ownership. Many Highland families emigrated to the far corners of the British Empire, particularly Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand. Highland culture, for all intents and purposes defunct back home in Scotland, survived in these places into the modern era.

In Canada, Gaelic found much success, especially initially. At one point, Gaelic was the third-most commonly spoken language in Canada, though usage declined markedly between the 1800s and more recent revival efforts in the late 20th century. According to the 2011 Canadian Census, 7,195 people claim "Gaelic languages" as the language they use at home (though this term also includes Irish, Welsh, and Breton, the latter two of which are not Gaelic, but Brythonic). Scottish Gaelic is taught in schools (on an opt-in basis) from primary to university level in Nova Scotia, a province whose name means "New Scotland" in Latin. In Nova Scotia, especially on Cape Breton Island, Highland culture is still very much alive.

What goes on within Gaelic?

Gaelic and its other Celtic cousins are quite unique in the European context, as they place the verb first within sentence structure. It's also quite interesting as its nouns can still inflect for the dual number (at least vestigially), a feature lost in a great many other Indo-European languages (oh, did I mention it's an Indo-European language?). If you've ever seen any written Irish or Scottish Gaelic, you may have noticed they like to put "h" after the first letter of a lot of words. This is a linguistic phenomenon known as mutation, and in this case more specifically as lenition. It changes the pronunciation of the first consonant of the word. This phenomenon has been present in the language since the days of Old Irish (and perhaps even further back into the days of Proto-Celtic).

In terms of spelling and pronunciation, it's astonishingly regular... once you figure out all the rules. There are 11-ish vowel sounds (depending on dialect), and 30 (or so) consonant sounds, a step down from Old Irish's 46 distinct consonants.

To conclude:

If you're committed to learning the language, I would recommend finding fellow learners or even native speakers online, and if you're really, REALLY committed to learning the language, I would doubly recommend making the effort to find a tutor in-person or over Zoom or another video calling service if it's within your means (although this advice goes without saying for learning any language). An institution known as Sabhal Mòr Ostaig, based in the Isle of Skye in the Western Isles of Scotland, must be mentioned in any discussion about learning Gaelic, however. According to their website, they are the "only centre of Higher and Further Education in the world that provides its learning programmes entirely through the medium of Gaelic in an immersed, language-rich environment." (This post is not sponsored.) If you have the time, the money, and the willpower, perhaps give them a look! They work closely with projects such as Tobar an Dualchais and Soillse to preserve, maintain, and revitalize Gaelic language and culture for future generations.

Follow for more linguistics and share this post! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#scotland #scottish #gaelic #irish language #scottish gaelic #indo european #linguistics #language #history #culture #celtic #celts #vikings

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anxiousgaypanicking · 5 months

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Vulnerable

Logicality (Logan x Patton) Prompt: hurt comfort and a/b/o where Patton(Alpha) and Logan(Alpha) have been married for a while and lately they've finally started to have sex because Patton grew up in a very traditional family and he has a hard time submitting to Logan without feeling shameful and humiliating. Logan realizes and softly helps Pat into sub space. Top!Logan and bottom!Patton. Plus points if Logan's a sweet husband Warnings: sex, breeding speak, a/b/o dynamics, hickeys A request from my AO3

Patton's arms are wrapped around Logan, who's laying on his chest, arms wrapped around him protectively and face buried in Patton's scent glands. Honestly, Patton was still unused to the position, and wanted them to be switched, but upon feeling Patton's body tense, Logan places a few kisses over his neck.

"Deep breaths," Logan urges, quietly, voice so steady and calm that Patton can't help but listen and suck in some much-needed air.

"I feel out of place," Patton whispers, as his fingers tangle in the back of Logan's shirt. Logan shushes him softly.

"I know," Logan says. "I know."

This was just the first step out of many that Logan has drafted. They knew from the beginning that sex would be difficult when they first got together, but they were willing to work through it.

Now though, actually doing such is difficult.

They both agreed Logan would top, but now, as Logan gets ready to, Patton feels shameful.

He grew in an environment that encouraged his masculinity and put an emphasis on his alpha label, and while he did turn out sensitive and emotional, he was never able to get over the need to be dominant. But he knows Logan likes control, and his desire to please makes it so that he wants Logan to be happy and comfortable. But this comes at the cost of his confidence.

"We don't have to have sex," Logan then says, as his hand travels down over Patton's arm and to his hand, where their fingers slide against each other. Patton feels Logan's wedding ring, and twists it around Logan's finger absentmindedly.

Patton shifts his position slightly, holding tighter to Logan. "I want to, I promise," he says, as though he's trying to convince them both. "I've just... I've never been submissive before. I don't know if I'll like it, or be good at it, or-"

"Shh," Logan calms, leaving more kisses over Patton's skin. "You're spiraling. Deep breaths."

Patton takes in some more air, and exhales a long sigh.

"I want to," Patton repeats, voice soft. Anxiety and humiliation twists in his gut, but Logan's soft lips and confident, grounding words do a lot to soothe him.

"I'll guide you," Logan says, as he finally pulls away, letting Patton see his face.

To any outsider, he'd look emotionless. Apathetic. Cold, and unfeeling. But Patton could see his passion. His determination. His genuine sincerity as he offers to lead Patton through being good and submissive to make sure they both enjoy themselves.

Logan cups Patton's face. "And if at any point you decide you want to stop, we'll stop. Okay?"

Patton leans into Logan's hand, soaking in the affection. "Okay."

Logan gives the smallest of proud smiles as Patton relaxes and seems a bit more comfortable. He kisses Patton on the forehead, pressing their heads together after, and murmuring "such a good boy. Just relax; let me take care of you." He's encouraging, and attempting to talk Patton into a submissive mindset. A difficult feat, for sure, but one that was necessary if he was ever going to enjoy himself.

He presses his lips against his husband's shortly after, squeezing their hands together to help keep Patton grounded.

Slowly, Logan pushes his tongue into Patton's mouth, and Patton struggles not to push it out and bite at Logan's lips. But he manages, and instead lets Logan kiss him hard, until Patton can't help but moan.

He trusts Logan, and he loves him so much, so he sucks in a deep breath when they part in order to further relax his mind and body.

And he can feel Logan's excitement.

Truthfully, Logan is utterly ecstatic. He understands why Patton is nervous, of course; he wouldn't want to be topped either. It goes again every instinct he has as an alpha, and he's sure Patton's dealing with that too, so he's sympathetic. But in this instance, he's also simple-minded and overly excited over the idea of finally getting to top him.

Logan sweetly kisses the side of Patton's face. Quietly, he asks "how do you feel?"

And truthfully, Patton feels shame. He feels disgusting for letting himself be topped, and he feels embarrassed that he isn't the one in control, and yet he feels so excited as Logan's mouth drops lower, breathing over his neck and briefly nuzzling into his scent glands, as if trying to decipher Patton's mood from his pheromones that were unfortunately tainted with arousal. Logan was bad at interpreting the different scents anyway, but feeling him suck in deep, focused breaths makes Patton shiver, more so as his hot breath blows back over his neck.

"I'm nervous," Patton admits, just as quiet, as he sets his hand in Logan's hair. "But I assume that's obvious."

Logan kisses his neck, and Patton lets out a soft moan.

"I want to hold you down against the bed," Logan croons, voice hushed and intimate as he moves back up to rest his lips against Patton's earlobe. "I want to breed you. I want to claim you."

They've been married for a while, and together for longer. Surely, claiming was the next step, but they both were unsure on how to initiate it. He's not impulsive, either, and Patton isn't a dependent omega who'll appreciate and cling to Logan upon actually being claimed; there's a chance it'll actually bother and upset him, so Logan knows he has to be careful.

He kisses the side of Patton's face when he gets no response.

"If you're uncomfortable at all, you can tell me, okay?" Logan says, pulling away so they could make eye contact, and Logan could emphasize the importance of his words. "I don't want you to feel bad when we mate."

Patton nods, softly saying "okay," and then tilting his head to the side as to invite Logan closer, flushing at Logan's shuddering sigh as he pushes his face back against Patton's scent glands, and then kisses over them.

Over Patton's shoulders, Logan leaves small kisses and hickeys, easing Patton into being marked, but avoiding his claim spot. He doesn't want to get too intense too quickly, but he works on introducing things slowly. He slides his fingertips beneath Patton's shirt, and begins to push it up. His hands squeeze Patton's pudgy stomach, before trailing further up, and pulling it off.

Patton's pants come off next, followed by his boxers.

Logan's seen Patton naked plenty of times, whether that be while changing or in the shower together, but it's different now, and they know that.

He quickly strips himself down so Patton doesn't feel too vulnerable.

"Lube?" Logan asks, and watches as Patton finds some in their nightstand to fork over. It's not the same as slick, but it's their only option.

Lifting Patton's hips, he dumps half the small bottle into Patton's hole, earning a whine of discomfort from Patton, who's unused to the feeling. Logan rubs his thigh to soothe him, and then pulls the bottle away. He lubes up his own fingers, before pushing them into Patton soon after.

It's a foreign feeling. "Logan," Patton whines, face scrunched up in flustered humiliation, but he's just softly quelled by Logan, who is taking his time stretching Patton out.

"It'll feel better as soon as I start, I promise," Logan assures him, scissoring his fingers, before slipping in a third. "This is just necessary prep. You know how it goes."

No, Patton really doesn't. He knows an omega produces slick, and he does not, and experiencing this strange lubricated sensation is making him feel conflicted. He's excited, but to some extent he's ashamed of his excitement, and feels brief embarrassment over the fact that he's not the one doing this to Logan.

But, as if Logan senses his thoughts, he's promptly kissed, and at some point Logan's lips against his own become too distracting for him to fully focus on his thoughts.

Why worry about those when he can just feel Logan?

"Good boy," Logan soothes, kissing Patton's lips again, and then pulling his fingers out. He wipes the excess lube against his cock, and uses up the rest of the small bottle to properly coat it.

"Okay, Patton," Logan starts, as he scoots closer and wraps Patton's thighs around his waist. "Deep breaths, okay? Trust me. I'll take care of you, I promise."

The tip of his cock presses against Patton's hole, which has Patton whining. Initially, Patton's hands dig into the sheets, but as soon as Logan notices he's guiding Patton's arms to his shoulders instead, wordlessly encouraging him to scratch at his back and hold tight to him. Their bodies are pressed close.

Slowly, Logan pushes in, and they both groan together.

Patton's nails do indeed claw into Logan's back in such a way that Logan can't help but growl, low and intimidating, and surprisingly, Patton whimpers in response.

But before he can even feel embarrassed about that, Logan's kissing his neck, crooning "good boy. Good boy," on repeat, until Patton's fingers are flexing against Logan's shoulders, torn between scratching him and squeezing him. He just needs to be holding Logan, the same way Logan's hands are holding tightly to his hips.

Logan pushes his cock into Patton until his knot rests just outside of his hole. He doesn't slide it inside, and can already see it beginning to swell.

He knows that if he pushes it into Patton near or during his orgasm, he'll lock them together, and as much as he wants that, he's not sure Patton does. That would be a conversation and a decision for another day, after both of them were more experienced with each other, and after Patton was properly content with being Logan's sub.

"There, see?" Logan softly says, as he rubs his face against Patton's neck, mixing their scents together. "You took me so easily. You're such a good boy."

He's panting already, which Patton listens closely to. It's animalistic, pure, shuddering in each intake of air. Goosebumps form over Patton's arms.

"Let me mark you up?" Logan then asks, speaking breathily into Patton's ear. "I won't claim you yet, I just- let me mark you."

He sounds like he's whining, pleading for Patton's permission, until Patton's hand tangles in his hair, earning another soft growl.

"Sure," Patton eventually says, breathlessly. "Just..."

Logan kisses him before he can finish his statement, reaffirming afterwards "I promise I won't claim you until we're both ready. That can be left for another day." He rubs over Patton's hips comfortingly with his hands, further working to soothe Patton until he feels Patton is relaxed.

Then, he's pushing his mouth against Patton's collarbones, licking over the skin before sucking a dark mark over it. Patton whines.

"Logan," he whimpers, but Logan shushes him.

"A few more," Logan begs, quietly. "Just a few more. Please." And Patton doesn't stop him.

Logan kisses up and down Patton's collarbones, sucking dark purple hickeys into the skin until he feels it's properly covered. Even afterwards though, he nips at the fat on Patton's chest, and brings a hand up to gently rub his pointer and his middle finger over Patton's scent glands, letting out a shaky breath before he forces himself to pull away. He's tempting himself, and he shouldn't.

His glasses slide part way down his nose as he observes his handiwork, admiring the look of Patton properly marked up, with dark marks trailing up Patton's hairy cleavage to just below his neck, as Logan didn't want to risk making Patton uncomfortable by getting too close to his scent glands.

Patton's face is bright red, and his nails very lightly caress Logan's back as he softly urges Logan to move.

"Don't tease me," Patton begs, though he knows that Logan is only giving him time to get used to the feeling. He's never had anything else inside of him, after all. "I need to feel you moving."

Logan nods, immediately understanding.

Slowly, he pulls his cock out of Patton's slick hole, before thrusting back in hard and quick.

Both he and Patton moan at the feeling, as Logan bends down to tuck his face into Patton neck. He takes in a deep breath, senses filled by the overpowering smell of Patton's arousal. Muttering soft praises, he thrusts his hips again, giving only a brief respite in between his movements, and enjoying the shaky whines he gets in response.

"Do you feel good?" Logan asks, kissing over Patton's neck, moving up over his jaw. "Come on, Patton, tell me you feel good. My good sub." His voice is steady and grounding, and Patton finds himself moaning again as he focuses on it.

Logan's so confident. Logan knows what to do.

"I feel- I feel good," Patton whispers, just loud enough Logan to hear. "You make me feel good." Patton feels Logan's lips quirk into a smile against his jaw.

"Good. That's my job as your alpha." He kisses Patton's cheek, digging his fingers hard into Patton's fat love handles as he resists the urge to shove himself balls deep and lock them together for the night. His nice, obedient sub. His nice tight omega. Even if Patton didn't smell like one, he still smelled good. And he didn't smell afraid, which was relieving to the more hesitant part of Logan that's been occupied with watching Patton for any uncomfortable quirks or subtle notions that he's not having fun.

"I always want to make you feel good," Logan murmurs, rubbing his cheek against Patton's.

Logan's hand slides up Patton's legs, and then to his cock, which he squeezes and strokes slowly. Patton's hole clenches tightly around him when he does, letting out a hiss between his teeth that has Logan softly speaking again.

"I've got you," Logan croons, kissing Patton's cheek, and the corner of his lips. "You're so good for me. Just relax. Submit. I've got you."

He's firm and consistent. That's all Patton needs. Firm words and consistency.

Patton hugs Logan closer, whining and grabbing where he can, holding tight to Logan in order to feel further grounded and floaty and good. Like the good sub Logan praises him for being. "Please," he mumbles, voice quaking as unintelligible words slip past his lips. "Please."

Logan pants heavily in response, small groans and growls escaping him as he fucks hard into Patton, mumbling between thrusts "I'm going to breed you full," and "you'll look so good filled with my pups."

The tip of his cock thrusts against Patton's prostate, earning a sudden, loud cry from Patton's lips, drool dripping down his chin. His nails press into Logan's pale skin, leaving his own marks over Logan's back and shoulders that sting in the best way possible.

Logan moans in response, and repeatedly fucks his cock into Patton's prostate, his knot pressing against Patton's hole threateningly with each thrust, as though it might be shoved in too if Logan gets too carried away. Hand curling tightly around the base of Patton's cock, Logan squeezes it roughly, drawing a desperate whine from Patton's mouth as Logan's fingers slide up and down, overwhelming Patton with a plethora of new experiences all mixing together into one intense night of intimacy.

"Logan," Patton pleads, body hot and face flushed. He's gasping. "Logan, please!"

"Go ahead and come, Patton," Logan instructs, pressing his lips to Patton's. "Show me how good you feel. Go on."

Patton falls apart easily in Logan's hold, coming in just a few more strokes, punctuated with a final few thrusts against his prostate. Logan kisses him repeatedly during and after, and groans as his nose is assaulted by comforting, happy, relaxed pheromones.

He comes a few thrusts later with Patton clenching around him, luckily managing to keep his swollen knot outside of Patton's hole, and instead pressing against it, but he does hold Patton close and tightly as he pumps him full.

Both of them breathe heavily afterwards, and out of instinct Logan doesn't pull out for a few minutes, until his little alpha brain is satisfied with the notion that Patton's been bred full.

Afterwards, he lays beside him, and holds Patton against his chest.

"Feel good?" Logan asks him, after, and feels the way Patton's fingers slowly slide over the small of his back, as though he's teetering on the edge of consciousness and is forcing himself to stay awake for Logan's benefit.

"Mhmm."

Logan runs his hand through Patton's hair, combing through it gently. "Good. You did so good. I love you."

"Mmm mm mmm." Patton's voice is muffled by Logan's chest, but Logan understands the sound nonetheless, and quickly slides both of their glasses off before cuddling Patton closer, and holding him tightly as they both fall asleep.

#logicality #sanders sides #sanders sides smut #not safe for sanders #agp smut #logicality smut

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aita-blorbos · 7 months

Note

AITA for not forgiving my "friend" for what he did?

I feel so goddamn tired of it all and I don't go on Tumblr much but I felt the need to ask.

So, I (16,M) have been "friends" with him (16,M), who we'll call J, for a long time now. We're in high school but we have been friends since early years of middle school.

I don't even know why I ever befriended that damn fool in the first place. I thought he looked cool, but lonely, so I just sort of went up to him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I gave him one of my video game consoles my dad bought me for my birthday, and we just sort of continued from there. We got... well I guess, close, as time passed by. I mean, I had always tried befriending loners before, like H and L who are my friends (though admittedly at times I do regret it) however J has always been... different. You could say.

He was easy to have a conversation with, he was a bit shy but he was very passionate about things. We would constantly play video games together, chat about normal stuff, and I would sometimes give him gifts he can use. My dad is just rich like that.

We went on like this for years, and he became my best friend at one point. I loved spending my time with him, he was a very agreeable person who I enjoyed accompanying. He never seemed to disagree with anything I had to say and he never forced anything upon me, which was always nice. He also had a huge crush on this girl (D) who he would get extremely flustered around. Obviously they would never get together, but it was always cute to see his flustered face around her.

Wait. No. That sounds weird. Ignore that.

Obviously, I thought he had no chance with her. He couldn't even talk to her in the face, that imbecile.

I also have a girlfriend, so I advise that you internet freaks do not make anything I say about J weird. My girlfriend's name is Z. Well, she's not my girlfriend anymore, that bxtch, but she used to be.

Honestly, while I didn't really care about her as much I did about J, I would never suspect her to be the AH she really is. However this post is not about her.

You can see I'm having a hard time getting to the point. Shut up.

Everything was fine. Me, J, H, L and Z were all on good terms, everything was normal. I also forgot to mention that there is this ridiculously hilarious music club in our school. Everytime they pass, we just can't hold back the urge to just call them freaks as they are. It was another thing unique to our friend group - the ability to simply laugh throughout life. As much as I hate to say it, I do miss it. Now I don't have the strength to even wake up. I'm writing this in my bed.

But that's not the point... we would make fun of this music club, as they obviously deserve it for what they did to me.

It was perfect. Well, almost perfect. But perfect enough. There was no need to change anything. But J decided that, no, we can't have peace, he just has to ruin all of our lives.

One day, he announced something I would never dream of.

He joined the music club.

It was... fine, at first. Or at least it would be. Until he just completely forgot about me. about us. He said he joined the club for D, even though I find it hard to believe. It's not like I had to embarrass myself on stage to get Z to like me. Then again, I could probably get any girl I wanted.

If I wanted them in the first place

J would go on and on about him joining this music club, so he can perform at the upcoming band competition, so he can impress D and ask her out. I didn't like any of what he was saying, but at least I knew none of it would work out. He would just embarras himself. I tried telling him this, over and over again, but he never listened to me.

More time passed, and he started spending more time with the music freaks, and much less time with me. With us. He stopped hanging out with us after school, and stopped eating lunch with us as much during school. It's as if I didn't exist. I tried telling him that the music club is controlling him, manipulating him to spend all their time with him. He didn't seem to listen.

I just started to miss him so goddamn much. He would constantly left my messages on read. He would never respond to them. He never seemed to have spare time for me. Not even to play genshin Impact or anything. He would just ignore us. As if he suddenly devoted his life into that stupid music club.

I never got it. He never showed any interest in music beforehand, and now suddenly he wants to act like this big pop star to impress this random girl, and date her, as if that would ever work. But it turns out that music was always "his passion", which I'll get to later.

He would constantly lie to me, zone out during our rare conversations, he wouldn't even laugh at my jokes anymore, he acted as if I never existed. As if we never were.

God. That sounded stupid.

At one point, he FINALLY decided to share his free time and spend it at my place with our friends. It was great. Until he started talking about that stupid music club again.

I tried to bring up the fact that HE said that after the competition, he would leave the music club. He promised that. Everything would be fine once he left that damn club, got rejected by that girl, and everything would go back to normal.

But, APPARENTLY, he wanted to STAY at the club.

I couldn't let that happen.

He would spend way, way too much time at the rehearsals. Things were already bad enough.

So I promptly told him that they were using him, because they're control freaks who clearly want everything their way and want him all to themselves. I'm not sure if I quite believed that myself, but I wanted to do anything just for him to not stay at that club.

He finally snapped, and said a bunch of things about the club, and called it stupid, just as he should've. It was over. He was gonna leave the club. Everything was going to be great.

But apparently not. The next day, I actually felt HAPPY. I knew that he would finally stop worrying so much about the club, since he himself said that the club was stupid and that he was in it just to impress D. But J instead walked up to me with eyebags and an angry expression.

He started spouting a bunch of nonsense, about how I "took away" something he "cared about", the club. I had no idea what he was talking about. And I had no idea he cared about it in the first place. If he loved music so much, why didn't he just tell me!? I can easily ask my dad to buy a separate karaoke machine for him or something. I already have one at home I could lend to him. Or that I would've lended to him if he told me EARLIER instead of leading me on and lying about who he was, as if he had a reason to do so. As if he didn't trust me.

But then he randomly announced that apparently Z was cheating on me.

And apparently, he knew it the whole time, and he didn't tell me anything. He didn't tell me. He doesn't tell me a damn thing anymore.

A thing I forgot to mention is that, while he was ignoring me, he was paying s ton of attention into one of the freak club members, who'll we'll call H. He even started crushing on her, even if he refused to admit it.

Which would've been fine, if he didn't spend so much time with her, and if she wasnt the overpossesive freak that she was. Apparently she ingrained random nonsense into his head about now I and his other friends are "harmful" to him or something. She would never let him talk with me. She acted as if she knew him better than I did.

The next day after he told me about Z and suddenly left, I decided to talk with H. I might've been "violent", or "rude". But I needed her to stop talking to J. I needed her to stop spending time with him. I needed J.

That sounded weird.

No.

I got into an argument with H, and she tried avoiding it. But then, J stood between us.

I don't remember much. But we got into s pretty heavy argument. I tried to block out most of what he had said.

But he basically talked nonsense about how the STUPID GODDAMN MUSIC FREAK CLUB MEANT TO HIM OR SOMETHING.

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT HIS "PASSION"!? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO "SUPPORT HIM" IF HE NEVER EVEN TRUSTED ME?

This whole time, I thought the club was dragging him on. When really, J was the one who manipulated me in the first place, because he lied to me. He lied to me about who he was, he was never my friend.

He tried "resolving it" with me, about how we can "all be friends" but I wasn't hearing any more crap from him.

I couldn't deal with him leaving me, I guess. So I left him first.

This whole time I thought I could trust him when he didn't trust me.

And I just ran away.

It was official. We weren't friends anymore.

I thought he was a huge AH, and I still do. Why didn't he just tell me about his passion, about his life? Why did he feel like he had to mask himself around me? Did he really hate me that much?

But some people would say that IM TAH. Because I "manipulated" him or something. Because "I" apparently didn't "accept him" for who he was. I would've, if he told me about it earlier. Some people would say that I have control issues.

But I don't believe it.

I don't know.

I feel so weird about him. Life was so great when he was around, but now everytime I think of him I just get..

Angry? Sad?

I tried blocking him and his contacts but I just can't bring myself to do it.

It's weird.

I just things would go back to normal. That we could just go back to being together.

But because he lied to me and led me on, we can't.

And so I ask..

Am I the asshole?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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mooifyourecows · 9 months

Note

do you ever feel guilty when you’re feeling half despite all the issues you may have? like especially when talking to people or listening to music by people having really tough times, do you feel like “i shouldn’t get to feel like this when i’m going through something because look at how these people feel going through something”

i was raised catholic so there's nothing I can't feel guilty about tbh

but i think our emotions are the first thing we should work hard to stop feeling guilt about. there's always going to be someone who has it worse than you or who is more positive and courageous despite going through something worse than you, so there's no point in comparing your situation with anybody else's. like, maybe your favorite shirt got ruined in the wash but your brother's dog died but his friend's mom died but their neighbor's entire family died but their coworker grew up in a box on the street with no family to begin with and now has terminal cancer but their friend had to flee from their home country because war wiped out everyone they knew and etc etc etc, it goes on and on and on until finally we find the ONE single person who has had the absolute WORST life possible and what... they're the only one allowed to feel bad about it? and what if they're super upbeat and positive about it? that's it. emotions are canceled for everyone else?

no, that's crazy, you know?

you're allowed to feel how you feel because you literally can't control that. and that's alright. emotions aren't the things that affect others, it's how you respond to them that affects others. and it's only your inconsiderate and cruel actions that you should feel guilty about. be aware of your privilege and be conscientious about other people who may be having a worse time than you. Don't compare your situation to someone's much worse situation as if they are equal, but for god's sake, feel your emotions and don't beat yourself up about it.

The best way to move past the bad emotions is to let yourself feel them. That's proven science, baby. When you feel yourself hit with a wave of emotion, whether it's a tightening in your chest or the urge to cry or the need to yell or punch a pillow or just stare blankly at a wall listening to sad music for some time, do it. Allow yourself that moment of weakness. Welcome it. Feel your emotion for as long as it needs to be felt and I promise it will pass and you can go about your day, business as usual. Some emotion will linger, especially the big stuff. The dead dog stuff. the dead mom stuff. the fear for the future stuff. But they'll be a whole lot worse if you try to stuff them down and lock them away because of some bullshit about not earning the right to feel them.

maybe it's totally stupid, too! as someone who has anxiety, i know that there are plenty of times that i feel emotions for entirely stupid reasons, but hey, who cares? your body and all the chemicals and electricity that makes it work have decided that THIS IS IMPORTANT, and you should respect its wisdom. the sooner you learn to respect yourself and all your little and big feelings, the happier you will be.

and anybody that tells you that you shouldn't feel a certain way is an idiot and i'll punch them in the face so send them my way, okay?

cut yourself some slack, you're doing great! and your body and brain will be so grateful if you just give them some kindness and grace 🌈🖤

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cassieuncaged · 5 months

Text

Uneasy Alliance - Chapter 3

Cassie Cage x Nyx (my oc)

Summary: When Kano decides he needs to hunt down a turncoat agent, it's up to Cassie to to protect her.

TW: sexual tension, language, etc.

WC: 1.2 K

A/N: Literally haven't updated this story in a year and half. But don't give up on unfinished fics, folks! Who knows when you'll be inspired again. Also, Cassie realizing she likes girls is very much based on my personal experience of discovering I was pan. So, there's that.

Also, thank you @roofgeese (Echo) and @chadillacboseman (Alex) for letting me borrow your ocs! Hope I did them justice :3

Taglist: @roofgeese, @pinkcatminht

“A truce?” Lavender eyes are unblinking, sharp jaw set hard as steel. “What the hell are talking about?”

Blue eyes rolled dramatically as Commander Cage strode into the meager set up. Her mouth, however, was shut for the longest amount of time since they’d met. Of course, when the turncoat actually wanted to hear the proposition. Instead, the blonde turned gracefully on the toe of her boot, not unlike a ballerina.

Under the right circumstances, Nyx could even imagine herself slipping her a phone number hastily scrawled across a sticky note. Right now, she had to resist the urge to cave Cassie’s skull in.

“Nice place you got here,” a quick nod of her head sent those pink aviators gracefully falling upon that round little nose, “Suppose you’ll be plastering some Echo and the Bunnymen posters up while you watch Eraserhead.”

“What’s your quarters look like, Barbie? Bubblegum pink with a closet full of Betsey Johnson rejects?” Nyx shot back without missing a beat, enjoying how Cage junior was bristling beneath the quick retort. It was clearly a long time since she’d had someone to engage in verbal sparring with.

“Point taken,” Cassie grits, arms crossed tightly across her uniform. “You want to hear what I’ve got up my sleeve or not?”

Mirroring her stance, the pallid woman responded with a sharp:

“I’m listening.” Her voice is terse, unflinching. Nyx had spent a long time guarding herself out of necessity, protecting those she’d cared about the most. So she waited as the blonde’s ponytail bobbed, chin nodding as she began.

“As I’m sure you’ve figured, my image here isn’t…the most respected.” It’s painful to admit, realizing her own mother barely holds any faith in her only child, “In fact, General Blade probably wishes I’d taken an interest in following my father’s footsteps.”

“Poor little princess,” Nyx feigns a pout, pink lips lacquered black. “Why don’t I play Celebrity Skin for you on the world’s tiniest violin?”

“What if you feed me some the intel you’ve got on Kano?” Cassie ignores the quip; with Johnny Cage as a parent, it got old really fast. “I’ll be your consult and use it to get ahead of the game here at Special Forces and we finally bag that greasy bastard.”

“Won’t that piss mommy off?” the hired gun had grown bored, unzipping the measly duffle tossed onto a narrow twin bed. She pulled out a black sports bra and matching thong, eyeing the bathroom situated in the corner. Commander Cage willed the rather delectable image in her mind away, feeling herself falling into a trap. “Sounds like stepping on her toes.”

“Sonya doesn’t give a shit if she finally shuts that cyborg up once and for all. Besides, overheard her and Briggs talking about some Outworld drug trafficking. Could be dangerous. How do you feel about going undercover?”

“Like some Columbo bullshit?” dark lips stretch into a wry grin, obviously amused. “I might be able to shed a little light on the Black Dragon. Where do you want to start?”

“Get some sleep. We’ll assemble in the morning. Jacqui will join us.”

“Afraid to be alone with me?” it’s a harmless joke though Cassie’s heart pounds in her chest. Was she even attracted to women? What a time for such a revelation.

“You’re not in any place to question my actions.” That sharp commanding voice returns, a military woman whose determined to keep the control she’s never had. So the assassin holds her hands up in surrender.

“I’m fucking with you.” She admits, “You’re fun to fuck with.”

Then Cassie’s face turns as red as a tomato as her lungs constrict, breathing impossible as she turns on a booted heel and marches to the sanctuary of the hallway.

……

A week passes since Nyx was at the club last, no shadows slinking through the corridors like a ghost.

“Anyone seen Siouxsie Sioux lately?” Alex’s voice breaks him from his train of thought, boot propped upon the bench as they were laced quickly. He’s still bruised from the last fight, eye swollen, lip split. The man doesn’t react to the pain, tightening the bun at the nape of his neck.

“You mean Nyx?” Kabal hates how her name feels on his tongue, souring their agreement.

“No,” he feigns a haughty laugh, switching boots upon the cracked wood, “I mean Erron. Y’know with all the dark eye makeup. They’re practically the same person. ‘Course I mean Nyx.”

“Don’t have a fucking clue.” He huffs, leaning against the cool steel of the battered lockers. “I’m not her mother.”

“Would that make you a milf?” Time barely passes before Kabal is pulling his cohort into head lock, pressing his fist roughly into the curve of Alex’s skull. “Fuck, it was a joke!”

“Not a fan of noogies?” His knuckles dig into dark hair, playful yet firm before the door to the cage opens. The men pause as the manager’s finger falls on Alex.

“You’re up.” He disappears behind the metal door as the fighter’s straighten themselves out. Straightening his hair, Alex pushes his mask up to his lips before rolling his shoulders and sashaying to the doorway.

A large hand salutes dopily before he’s gone. Then Kabal’s train of thought returns.

He doesn’t think anything of it; she’s been under the boss’s thumb for awhile but still preferred doing her work alone, away from prying eyes. He’d been to her apartment once, a few blocks away from Echo Park, nestled atop a Chinese Restaurant. It wasn’t a secret that she liked to be alone.

But this was fucking ridiculous. She’s always showed back up, like a stray cat that got a lick of cream once. The others in the locker room kept their faces down before the mask was in place, pretending the scars mangling his face didn’t exist. So his mask was pressed to raw, red skin, hooks holstered across his back as the man wandered from the sweat drenched walls down the narrow halls lit by flickering fluorescent lights.

Kano’s office was unmarked, a black door with chipped paint. Kabal’s fist collided with the hardwood before being granted entry with a gruff ‘In’. Pushing the door open found the man curled over his desk, Echo dutifully stationed in the corner, unflinching and unfeeling.

“Whaddya want?” Kano spat, red eye boring into some document like a laser pointer before meeting the equally dark pair of the metal mask across the room.

“Where’s your gun?” his voice was distant, mechanical as arms crossed over his chest as his gaze fell on the icy blonde hair of his right hand. She didn’t blink, staring the fighter down before clear eyes flickered downwards, falling back on her boss.

“On a job.” He replied with a roll of one good eye, “Taking her fucking time. Why?”

“Been gone for a while.” Kabal added, prying until he earned a sigh.

“Then go fucking find her. Pull her by the hair and bring her back.”

“Just like that?”

“If it’s bothering you so much, find her.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Kabal’s smirk was evident in his voice as he receded back into the hall. The hunt was on.

#otp: bubblegum goth #cassie cage x oc #cassie x nyx #mortal kombat #otp fanfiction #fanfiction

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writingpromptsforwriting · 2 years

Text

110 Random Prompts

"I should seen it coming."

"She tried warning me about you, I didn't listen you know."

"Tell me all this wasn't a lie."

"Hug me for the last time."

"Do you have any regret?!"

"Would you like a hug?"

"I will always be there for you."

"I never expected to do this with you."

"I never saw you like that, you are like a brother to me."

"And she rejected me, but at least I have a new friend."

"I know that we barely know each other, but I am always there for you."

"Tell we what can I do to make you feel better?"

"Why do you care?"

"Your smile makes my heart flutter and digest my food."

"You are the coolest person I have ever met."

"Will you still love me?"

"Do you love me?"

"How can I do that to you?"

"How did you know that?"

"Have you been stalking me?!"

"Oh wow this is not romantic."

"Dude, you just don't do that."

"What if someone hears our conversation?"

"Oh my you have such beautiful eyes!"

"I want to cuddle."

"How the hell are we going to do this exam?"

"I barely studied but didn't study and played video games."

"I at this point don't know what makes sense."

"Is that a comment?"

"Have you been sleeping?"

"If you took care of yourself, you wouldn't have looked like a racoon."

"You could have then better on that exam."

"...are we breaking up?"

"Please don't leave me."

"Be my queen."

"How does it feel being so tall?"

"Are you not you?"

"Why are you pretending?"

"Are you in pain or are you in injury?"

"Does that even makes sense?"

"I don't know what I am doing but I am doing something."

"I-I don't know what to do."

"Why did you run away?"

"Was I never good enough?"

"Can't I spend the night with you? It's raining and thundering outside."

"I will break your teeth and make sandwich out of it."

"Can we not talk about food please?"

"You are insane."

"You say like it's an insult."

"Kindly don't die on me."

"Why do you have to worry me all the time?!"

"Can you please shut up?"

"I am a very kind person."

"But he never said that."

"Can't we just go to bed and snuggle while watching The Office?"

"What are they doing?"

" I hate to break this but..."

"Why does no one love me?"

"When can I be happy?"

"Oh God what the hell happened here?"

"I love all my cats!"

"Awww she is so cute."

"How did we meet?"

"I don't know why we used to fight."

"I tried to kill you."

"Seems like you are assuring yourself."

"I just asked for two dollars-"

"I am blaming you for this."

"Why do I get blamed all the time?!"

"Being angry won't help."

"How are you supposed to control the urge to stab someone?"

"Well she got in a fight."

"I love women who can kick my butt-"

"You could have killed me when you had the chance."

"Oh God, I want to run away."

"Maybe I will be found in a different world."

"Would you let me in?"

"Will you look into your memory? Tell me where have you been?"

"So now you have kids with them? I thought that was our future."

"We cannot have nice things together."

"You are poison for me."

"Why? Tell me why at least before you go."

"I swear I didn't betray you."

"You-you are that assassin who killed my parents and now you are back-"

"Why are you so scared?"

"Can we please fight?"

"How do you even do that?"

"Will you come running for me? Will you try finding me? Will you still love me if I am not me? Will you still hold me close to your chest? Will you?"

"Was I just a summer thing?"

"I want someone to truly love me."

"You never listened to me."

"Who am I defending now?"

"I had a purpose which you had gave me but, now I don't have one."

"You don't deserve me."

"You were the only one to be kind to me."

"Can you tell me a lie?"

"You are destroying yourself."

"I don't care."

"How am I going to shit in my life when my life is falling apart."

"Why do you love me?"

"Lie to me, and tell me that you love me or anything like that."

"Stop fooling around."

"I may look stupid but I am not stupid."

"That piece of a shit."

"You just can't go around killing everyone."

"I don't feel safe, hug me."

Shower me in affection."

"My friends are not your friends."

"When would you tell me that all this was a lie?"

"Do I even matter anymore?"

#prompt #writing prompt #daily prompt #story ideas #writing idea #writeblr #writing inspiration #writing dialogue #scene prompt #dialogue prompt #angst prompts #sad prompts #fluff prompts

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selkymaiden · 11 months

Text

First meetings 😳

"Please don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Stare at me."

I'm actually astonished he even noticed, although I keep my face controlled enough to look mildly interested. Raising an eyebrow I swivel my head so that I'm actually looking him in the face. He stares back in a very cool- Alright, cold manner.

The fact is I wasn't even using my peripheral vision, or side-eyeing him at all. I was using the reflection on a piece of Silver displayed in his office to study him as he talked with a subordinate.

"I can look if I please."

"Why are you here? I know you're not like the other patrons, you're different. You're one of..." He trails off, making some sort of sour face. It's comical how expressive he is actually. "Black Mask's flunkies." I hold my tongue, those words actually make me bristle and I stare at Oswald Cobblepot in contempt. What's worse is he knows he's gotten a reaction out of me for it. I feel like we're playing some sort of fencing game and he's struck a point already.

"I was just headhunting bar keeps and was told this place was back open again. So I decided to take a look myself." I decide to be honest, it's easier this way because it was truly what I was doing. "Nice lie. Why are you really here?" Typical, paranoid crime lord. I resist the urge to roll my eyes and instead; I gaze back almost piercingly- something I know my eyes are very good at. Yet the fact is he holds my stare and doubles down with his own. It sort of works for him, with his mismatched eyes, one being in a monocle. Except he's more sarcastic about it. I watch his jaw tighten even before he relaxes and suddenly looks more accommodating, that sickly sweet charm people put on when they want information. He even waves his subordinates away so it's just us.

"Well?"

"I told you the truth. I'm here on my own accord to be nosey and take staff if it so pleases me and they agree to it."

"You know who I am, right?"

"Who you were, you mean?"

I take a point this time. I'd like to think I strike him across the cheek for that one, I even let it show on my features by giving an innocent smile. He seethes. But controls his temper all around, which I have to hand it to him- He's no Black Mask, thankfully, but from what I've heard about him and how he did things... I'm just waiting for a temper tantrum I suppose. I'm almost disappointed.

"You're very funny. Haha."

That actually makes me smile genuinely. It's sort of goofy how he said it, maybe I'm not used to dealing with people like him because he's different from other people in this line of business. Perhaps that's why he's stayed alive for so long?

"Listen, I don't care if you're some lackey of this 'Black Mask', what you're doin-"

I cut him off. Men hate that. He's no exception, although now it's him that looks astonished I'd even have the gall to do something like cut The Penguin off.

"I'm sorry Mr... Penguin. I don't know how you want me to address you. Anyways, this is not the same Gotham as when you left it, which I know you're fully aware of. I think it's been... 10 years now? You were in Blackgate for a while and power has shifted. I know you have some still loyal to you, obviously, when you got out of prison you had a driver ready for you. Very sweet. But there are a lot more players on the Chessboard now."

"Oswald."

Huh? I look taken aback by his simple reply.

"You can address me by my first name, Oswald."

This feels like a trap and I'm quiet as I study him, again we just look at each other. It's almost maddening. I've never felt so riled up by anyone except maybe Roman, but that was a given because of who Black Mask was and how we've had past. But this... This new guy... The Penguin was different.

"No... Anger because I cut you off?"

"It was rude but what you lack in manners doesn't deter me."

That's a point for him but I don't mind because the way he responds is hilarious to me now. What a funny little man.

"You're sort of cute." I respond.

My words are so out of the blue I think I actually stump him. In fact, I think I can see something like color on his pale cheeks and nose, but mostly I can see something not-so-nice lurking in his expression now. How exciting.

"Miss...?"

"Sophie."

"Miss. Sophie, I'm sure this has been entertaining for you, but I'm not above-"

"Killing me?"

"Stop interrupting me!"

That actually gets a physical reaction- He pounded his fist once on his desk, while his facial features sort of do an interesting twitch. He's holding back desperately I think, maybe he's had anger management or maybe he's just trying to be a gentleman for now.

"Maybe I should just get rid of you right now so I don't have to worry about the future? Hm? I'm sure Black Mask won't cause a whole war over one of his little lackeys dying."

"You're wrong."

"What?"

"First of all you make the mistake I'm easy to kill off, insulting. Second of all you really don't know who or what I mean to Roman Sionis. Actually what anybody does. I could be his driver and if you off'd me he'd simply start something- He's... He's sort of spoiled. He doesn't like his things to be toyed with or destroyed, and no offense, you aren't exactly in a whole lot of power like you used to be. So you're sort of a sitting duck... Er, Penguin."

I'm not being mocking, I'm not even being antagonizing now. I lean back in the chair across from him as he takes in what I said because I'm all honest and open at this point.

He doesn't answer right away and instead, I can see the gears in his head turning. The mental gymnastics of this man must be a gold medal winner I'd like to think, because it's true he defiantly does not have the Empire like he used to. But in the short amount of time he's been released from Blackgate he's done enough to garner attention from several big players. Black Mask is one of them.

"So what, are you warning me? Were you sent here as a message?"

"You're not listening. I came here on my own, nobody knows, and I did it because I felt like it. However, sure, yes, you could take what I said to you as a warning about how Black Mask works. Well, just one of the ways he works. It's free information for you because I think you're cute."

His jaw tightens and a flash of warning is in his eyes at my last comment. But otherwise, he keeps himself in check before looking away; he glances away and towards a large outside-facing window. The view his office has is actually very nice, Gotham's skyline is illuminated by an almost full moon tonight.

"Alright, Miss. Sophie-"

"Just call me Sophie."

"Sophie. Exactly who are you?"

Something drops in the pit of my stomach. I think he's won the fencing game and turned this into a Chess game now. Something I've never wanted to be a part of, have always avoided, but now unintentionally became a pawn by just coming here tonight. The Chessboard and game that is Gotham were made for big players: Black Mask, The Penguin, up comers even like this 'Two-Face' Harvey Dent, and not to mention the Mafia families and the different secret societies. I've been lucky, or unlucky, enough to fall under Black Mask and just be tasked with taking out the garbage for him long as I'm loyal. But I think I messed up by speaking with The Penguin.

Do I be honest?

"I'm a bar owner over in Black Mask's territory; it's called The Temple. It's Greek themed but modern, I do good revenue."

The way he studies me is annoying, it's annoying even more how I feel affected by him. I've been around long enough to learn to never let anyone get to me, even Roman. Yet here is this stupid... Slightly round, pale, man getting on my nerves.

"You know what?" His voice is like a clear bell, but the bell that tolls when someone has died. "I think it's very nice to meet you."

I see tonight might be long.

#here u go Kara I tried to keep rereading it and seeing any mistakes or flkajwekrj #or if i got the tone down especially for him but i had to stop and just be like fuck it lemme uhhhh there you go #xo. cruel to be kind #**mine

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scarlet-bee · 4 months

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[ID: A digital drawing, with the words "Happy Thanksgiving!" written at the top. Below the words is a person with a light skin tone. Her brown hair is long and wavy, and she wears glasses.

The person's eyes are closed, as she smiles with her mouth open. She is making a heart shape with her hands. End ID.]

(I used she/her because I assume the person in the drawing is you, feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong!)

Thank you!! Sorry I got to this so late! I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, but I still really appreciate this! :) [smiling face emoticon]

(The next few paragraphs aren't aimed at you specifically, just Americans who celebrate Thanksgiving in general.)

Admittedly, I'm not very educated on the actual history of Thanksgiving (AKA the full story, not just the version they teach us in school). However, I have read some about it, and I've seen Native Americans speak on how they feel about the holiday, which is enough to make me not want to support it anymore. I don't want to celebrate a holiday that originated from colonization and genocide, regardless of how much we try to seperate it from that origin.

I do still eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family (out of fear of how they'd react if I refused to take part), but I pretty much just think of it as a regular meal. I do acknowledge that I'm still technically taking part in the celebration, though, and it's on me that I haven't gotten the courage to speak up about it to my family yet.

I can't tell anyone to stop celebrating (I'd be a hypocrite if I did, and I obviously can't control what other people do), but I do urge my fellow Americans to learn more about the history behind Thanksgiving, listen to Native Americans about the topic, and make your own decision based on that knowledge. I recommend this post as a starting point.

Most importantly, we need to listen to and support Native Americans and other Indigenous people all year round, not just on days like Thanksgiving and Columbus Day. We need to keep working to educate ourselves, listen to Indigenous people, boost their voices, and support them monetarily when we're able to.

(Back to talking to just you now!)

This probably wasn't the response you were expecting, haha. I know you were just trying to wish me a happy holiday, so I kind of didn't want to be a "downer," but I wouldn't have felt right posting something about Thanksgiving without acknowledging all of this. Like I said, though, I do really appreciate the thought behind this! It's nice that you thought of me, and it always makes me happy when people draw things for me! Thanks again for the well wishes and for the art!! <3 [heart emoticon]

#asks #author of the year #author-of-the-year #puff #thanksgiving #art #original art #for me #art for me

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goosegoblin · 1 year

Note

Tw:sh

I’ve been afraid to talk about this for a while but I’ve been getting disgusting intrusive thoughts about harming disabled people for like 7 MONTHS IN A ROW and it’s so fucking torturous to the point where I’m strangling myself because I’m so fucking horrified by my thoughts and the weird part is that Mom just brushes me hurting myself bc of my thoughts as attention

Hi. I love you.

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that they specifically find the shit that frightens or repulses you the most, and then they revolve around that. That's why they're distressing. That's why they're intrusive. They are things you do not want to be thinking about, and they are things you do not want. People who actually want to harm disabled people are not disgusted and horrifed by the idea.

You are not a bad person. You are not a danger to others. You are not doing anything wrong. You do not need to punish yourself. You do not need to be treated so cruelly.

I am so sorry about your mom. You deserve help and care and attention. Could you access counselling through your school at all? Alternatively, there are some really great resources online you could try and use until you're in a place where you're able to get help. Personally, I found thought defusion as a part of ACT very helpful.

You do not have to engage with your thoughts. You do not have to challenge or examine your thoughts. Your thoughts are the equivalent of internet trolls typing in all caps because they just learned a new video game has a woman in it. They are electrical impulses desperately being fired out by a sick, confused brain. They don't need to be listened to. They can just be allowed to exist. Your brain can loudly scream that you should hurt the disabled person next to you, and can calmly carry on with your work. It is not a moral failure to do so.

Something else that helped me greatly- and this one might be a bit more controversial on puriteen hellsite, but fuck it- is to understand that thought crime does not exist. Having a thought is not a violent act, and having a thought is not something that requires punishment. Thoughts are only 'dangerous' when they lead to action (and yes, this can exist in more subtle forms- how belief systems affect your schema and how you interact on a wider scale- but that is not what we're talking about right now).

What I mean by that last paragraph is this: let us imagine a universe- and I really cannot clarify enough that this is a hypothetical, we are not in this universe- where these were not intrusive thoughts, but were instead genuine urges to harm others. If you never acted on them, and worked to make sure those around you remained safe, then those thoughts/urges would be morally neutral. Thoughts are just thoughts. You cannot hurt anyone by having a thought.

I have found great comfort in that. I do not need to control the inside of my brain, and desperately search to figure out whether a single thought is intrusive or 'real'. It is okay to have these thoughts. You do not need to fight them. You do not need to fight yourself. You are not a bad or terrible person.

If that last tangent feels unhelpful, that's okay- you can ignore it. Urges and intrusive thoughts are, after all, not the same thing. Intrusive thoughts are not thoughts that lead to action, even though I know they feel very much like they could. You will not 'slip up' and become a monster. That isn't how this works. The last paragraph here is very good.

Once again, I love you. If I could watch your intrusive thoughts inside your brain in all their graphic disgusting horror, I would still love you. You are not your intrusive thoughts. They horrify you because you do not want to be having them. You do not have to hurt yourself over this.

#ocd #intrusive thoughts #self harm #i am happy to talk about anything discussed here in more detail #but i absolutely reserve the right to tell you to get fucked if you intentionally misconstrue any of what i've said here #there is SO MUCH misunderstanding of intrusive thoughts #and ocd is a sneaky enough fucker that answering a thought with “it's just OCD i can ignore it” can in fact become a compulsion!#thought defusion baby #you are not your intrusive thoughts

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twoidiotwriters1 · 2 years

Text

Copycat: Agent Zero —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: Matt I’m begging you KISS HER ALREADY -Danny

Words: 2,017

Phase Four Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Iris’ -by Goo Goo Dolls

xx: Desperate Times

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Hey, that's Copycat!"

"I thought she was an Avenger!"

"She should get arrested!"

A sudden moment of brilliance came to her, she knew the exact location of Peter's house! Pietro had lived there for the majority of two years! She stopped running and teleported right outside his apartment.

MJ almost crashed into her, she pulled her into the home and slammed the door shut behind Copy, not even a bit surprised to see her there. Happy, May, and Peter were all agitated.

"The windows! The windows!" MJ urged her.

May was arguing with Peter, who for some reason was half naked, while Happy was walking around looking a little lost. "Cat," he blinked once he noticed her presence. "What are you doing here? Why are you wearing your suit?"

Peter stared at her with wide eyes and wildly gesticulated to keep her mouth shut.

"What's that sound?" Happy asked.

She could hear the crowd gathering outside, screaming at them to get out. Cat and Peter shared a quick look before closing the windows and curtains, there was incessant knocking at the door but they decided to ignore it for the time being.

The adults' phones began to ring, a helicopter was now at the scene, and Cat clumsily teleported to turn off the tv, but it was too late, Happy and May had seen it. Peter walked up to the window defeatedly and lifted the curtain. Everyone approached to look outside except for Copycat.

Peter stared at all of them with a pleading look in his eyes. "I mean, maybe it's not such a big deal..."

"Yeah, alright," Cat's voice sounded heavily sarcastic. "Everyone knew who Iron Man was and Tony's life was just perfect!"

"Well, actually, he didn't have such a bad time!" Peter argued.

"He was rich!" She exclaimed. "Do you happen to have three million dollars to get us out of this?!"

"Stop talking!" MJ was just as anxious.

"Okay, everyone let's sit down and think!" May closed the curtain and guided the whole group back to the living room. "Everyone knows, but why are they angry?

"They think we killed Mysterio," she explained.

"What! Why?"

"They made it look like Cat and I planned the whole thing."

"But you didn't kill him!"

Cat and Peter shared a look. "I mean... I might've shot him one time too many."

"But it was self-defense, right?"

Her voice was sarcastic again. "Yeah, sure! Yeah, it was... defense for sure..."

"That's not the point!" Peter distracted them from the horrible fact. "What are we going to do? You quit S.H.I.E.L.D so they're not gonna help us—"

"They should! I was working for them when this whole thing happened!"

"Yeah, but they didn't tell you to kill Beck, right?" MJ said. "They can't lie and say they asked you to, people think he was a good dude, they won't buy it."

Cat couldn't believe how unfair this was. She'd fought in Sokovia! She was there when Vision was created, and when the accords had been signed, but Beck's name was on S.H.I.E.L.D's records, and she as far as the world knew, she'd never existed until now.

The organization had Mysterio as an out-of-this-world martyr, Agent Zero's file, on the other hand, talked about her vigilante life and her violent methods to keep the city clean and under control. She'd been looking for items stolen from the ruins of the compound. Those items could've easily been Stark drones.

"I have to hide..."

"No no no, don't say that, we can still fix this!"

"Happy, I killed Beck and he got it on camera!" She gasped, abruptly realizing the second, perhaps worst mistake she'd committed. "And you're involved!"

Happy fell back on his seat and stared ahead, speechless.

"Ned— we gotta check on him—"

"I'll do it," MJ stood quickly.

"No," Peter and Cat said.

"I'm innocent until proven guilty," MJ stated. "Besides I can't stay here, my dad must be going crazy right now."

"This is great. My first week out and..." Cat stopped midsentence, her brain was working fast that day. "That's it!"

"What?"

"They're looking for me," she placed one hand on her chest. "But they're not looking for all of the me's that I can be."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I think I'll kill two birds with one stone, and finish my original mission," she looked at him with a serious expression. "But you can't get involved in this."

Instead of going back to her apartment, she went to Matthew's place.

He was in his living room going through some papers. At the sound of her teleporting, he stood, dropping everything. He searched around a little disoriented, but once he recognized her, he spoke.

"Since when can you do that?"

"I forgot you didn't know," she walked up to him and picked up the fallen paperwork. "Kurt can teleport and I copy him when I don't want to be followed..."

"I heard the news this morning," Matthew replied. "How are you?"

"I... I'm sorry," she said quietly, avoiding his face. "I didn't know where else to go."

The man stayed in place. "Did you really kill that man?"

A knot formed on her chest, Cat tried to think of a way to not sound crazy, but all that came out of her mouth was an apology. "I was too rash. I'm sorry."

Matthew stood to his full height, he wasn't wearing his glasses so it was easy to read his face. Instead of replying, he walked to the kitchen and opened his fridge.

"I... I wasn't thinking—"

"I doubt that."

"If you would've heard the way Peter spoke to me— he thought I didn't care, that I would turn my back on him..." Matthew was hidden behind the fridge's door, and this helped her speak honestly and not to stumble over her words. "Peter got run by a train because of Beck! I found him half-dead— Peter's just a kid, Matthew! I couldn't stand there and watch!"

Defeated, Cat fell on the couch heavily, hiding her face behind both hands. She wasn't crying, but the weight of her mistake was starting to overwhelm her, never before she'd been haunted in this way. Killing Mysterio had caused a snowball effect, and she'd ruined Spider-man's reputation and her own forever. Kurt was going to be so disappointed.

"Then he targeted my old friends... and he mentioned Tony... he tried to shoot Peter in the head..."

Matthew showed up next to her holding a pack of beers and offering a single bottle to her. Without understanding, Cat silently accepted the drink and opened it, he put the rest on the coffee table and sat beside to her.

"You were saying Beck tried to shoot the kid on the head," he said, inviting her to continue.

"Yes," she replied, giving him a confused look. "Peter's abilities saved him. He stopped the attack before Quentin could shoot."

"But that wasn't enough for you."

Cat lowered her gaze. "No. I wanted to make sure he would never hurt Peter again."

"So you shot him."

"Yes."

"How many times?"

"Two."

"Was he still holding the gun when you shot him?"

"No."

"Was he still standing?"

"Yes."

"Was he still in possession of the A.I?"

"Yes."

He grabbed a beer and opened it. "We can work with that."

Cat's gaze went back to him. "What?"

"He had the A.I. when you shot him. He was able to control the drones, right?"

She felt a bit of hope nestling in the middle of her stomach. "Yeah."

"Alright. So these are the facts," he leaned forward. "Spider-man's underage, all you can see in the video are two pairs of feet, according to Foggy, and when the camera moves up you can only see Copycat, cause Parker's standing next to Beck. Your face is covered, no one can't tell who she is, cause Quentin didn't have your real name."

"Right, 'cause I don't have one."

"But Copycat's the face of the young Avengers— and here's the important part— they put the word young at the front."

Cat tilted her head. "Where are you going with this?"

"For all we know, that day two minors fought for their lives and up until the last minute, Beck had the A.I. with him."

"Yeah but the video's edited so it looks like Peter had the glasses first—"

"Yeah, but when Peter has the glasses, Quentin's on the floor, remember? The camera's pointing at your feet and he's bleeding. How come one second he's bleeding out and at the other, he's wearing the glasses and on both feet? The fact remains that it was two underage heroes with one gun against a grown man with thousands of armed drones surrounding the bridge where you two were."

Cat didn't know if they could make the whole world change their minds, but Matthew's argument sounded pretty damn convincing, so much that for a moment she truly believed she'd acted in self-defense.

"Do you think Peter's going to get arrested?"

The man nodded briefly. "Sorry, Cat. It's plausible."

"Do you think you'd be able to defend him?"

He smiled a little. "What about you?"

"I don't need help."

Matthew raised his eyebrows. "Is S.H.I.E.L.D going to provide you with a lawyer?"

Cat scoffed. "I'm on my own."

"Then what's your plan?"

"I'll be C.C. Stark, or Katrina Maxwell, at least until things cool down. Once everyone forgets about Copy, I'll go back to being a quiet hero. You know, no flashy activities during daylight, and if I have no choice, I guess I'll go stealth."

"I don't think they'll let you go that easily. The government will go after you for the rest of your life even if you do the right thing."

"I'm not interested in being perceived in any particular way by the rest of the world... I just wanted to see you." Cat came to the conclusion that it was best to be sincere. "Now that I did I feel better, even if I shouldn't."

Matthew frowned. "You came to me because you wanted my opinion? I thought you just wanted to hide."

"I didn't want your opinion," she confessed. "I wanted to explain myself."

"I just said you didn't do anything wrong..."

"Yeah, and I honestly think I'll be crying about that later tonight, but I thought... I don't know... I don't want you to hate me."

"I'd be a hypocrite if I turned my back on you now. I'm not a saint, Cat."

"But you've never killed anyone..."

"You know what makes you better than me?" He reached for one of her hands and rubbed it gently. "You regret your actions. You wanted to protect your friends, I only do things to prove that I'm better than the bad guys."

Cat placed her beer on the coffee table, her body facing away from him, but she held his hand tighter. "You contradict yourself, Matthew. You have a heart, you're just really unhappy... like me."

He chuckled. "That's good?"

She rubbed her temple with her free hand. "No, I'm just saying I'm... haunted... by so many ghosts. I didn't want to add your face to the list, especially when you're the only one that gets this part of me, the one that's always... angry."

Matthew's hand left hers, he cupped her face to get her attention. "I'm not mad at you."

She melted on his palm. "Do you wanna know a secret?" He hummed. "I don't care if I live or die, and it'd be easier if everyone felt the same way." Cat looked at him, he was getting closer. "But I saved Peter instead of leaving him, and I came here tonight to make sure you knew the truth because I'm a liar, I want you to care about me."

Matthew leaned forward, his nose brushed hers. "Can I tell you a secret?" She nodded, knowing he could tell. "You make my world feel quieter, Cat. I care about you... and I need you."

Billy welcomed her with open arms and a hungry gaze. "How was your trip, my love?"

"Didn't you see the news? Spider-man ruined it. No investors want to work with me. I live in the same city as that twat— they think they're putting their earnings at risk!"

"A teenager calling himself an Avenger," he sneered. "Like we needed more reasons to detest them."

She wrapped her arms around Billy and gave him her best puppy eyes. "I think I have a way to use this in our favor... but I'll need your help."

Billy smirked. "Do tell."

Cat looked around with disgust. "Let's go to your office. I want to keep this between us."

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae @ieatpanicattacksforlunch @jesuswasnotawhiteman @siriuslysirius1107 @greengarsstuff @itsyagirl01 @23victoria @espressopatronum454 @jkthinkstoomuch

#twoidiots writing #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #copycat fic

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dreams-poetry-art-therapy · 7 months

Text

listening to ALLEINE by B3000 over and over again until I feel a bit okay [12.10.23]

I woke up tired but happy to be back in my city. My room still smells like something I can't put my finger on, not unpleasant.

Going to university again was a great refreshment. Being in my office there already makes me productive and in control. I sit down on my desk and I am ready to start achieving things. That the computer is working again since my colleagues fixed (aka put the cables in the right ports) it, is a big blessing. Working on a big, fast computer, I feel even more productive.

In the lunch break, I ate with A and I really enjoyed my first meal at the cafeteria again. We talked about science and the month at the office while I was away and like with everyone at my office, I felt like I have at least 10 IQ points less than them, but A is very kind and it's still enjoyable to talk to him. I can't stop thinking about the fact that he eats dry French fries every day at the cafeteria, though.

On the way home, I sent all 3 film rolls into development. Then, I found my bike where I locked it over 3 months ago and carried it to the repair shop. Bike repair guys are people from another planet, I swear. The guy told me that repairing my bike would basically cost more than double it's value and in that moment, I decided to finally lay it to rest after 6 years. I thanked my bike for all it's efforts these years and then just put it on a bike stand without locking it. The city will do the rest.

At home, I finally gave in to my hyper horny urges and took some pictures for reddit/gonewild. Listening to Slut Pop by Kim Petras and drinking coconut water while taking half- naked pictures on my room floor gave me another kind of confidence.

I met with B to have a big debrief of my trip to Portugal. I can understand a lot of her dislike for Brazil a lot better, yet, I'm even more excited to go there now. The place we went to was kind of fancy for this city, I think it was a French restaurant. The waiter was so nice I wondered if he was flirting with me but he was just doing his job, lol. B was apparently sick for the last 3 weeks and then also got stomach issues again from the desert there and have to leave.

I'm still so tired, physically. I feel also like I'm still processing Portugal now.

After B, I went to C's place. I thought I was late but actually, everyone was still there; Y and even G! I ran towards everyone screaming and hugging them so much and I the hallway I said to myself "You're home" Being with everyone was like always; everyone is kind of constantly talking, sometimes over each other, everyone wanted to know about Portugal, I tried to get drunk on the wine there but failed. I felt like I wanted to talk to everyone individually in peace but it was too full, too loud, too chaotic for that.

Also, S had canceled me for the weekend. Last minute again, of course. It was the third time she canceled a long planned thing one day before now and I didn't see her in 10 months by now. I decided to not put any effort in our friendship now, I don't wanna bother with someone who keeps canceling like this. Of course, it ruined my mood for a bit. Then I tried to ask one of the others to join me for the birthday party tomorrow so I can take a friend there like I said. Y said she wanted to come but she is also not completely cancel - free and I will feel nervous about it until I see her there. I hate that I am so not chill about meeting friends. I wish I could actually be spontaneous, actually not care when people cancel, actually be okay with people coming or not coming. Instead, I await the meeting half eagerly half anxiously. I might meet G on the weekend as well, if M agrees to go to another place Saturday. I should be happy I have so many amazing friends to do things with but not having security about people coming makes me nervous and I'm still tired from the holiday with my parents or Portugal or both or because it's winter or because I'm tired in general.

I wish there were more comments on my gone wild post.

#diary #diary1 #d #portugal #lisbon #come back #friends #friendship #saudade #miss

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valleynix · 1 year

Note

The Fool. As in, the tarot card?

(With that "you have to remember" all I had in my mind was the "remember who you are" from lion king lmao)

"They’re right in front of you-

But they’re not real. They’re gone."

Can you stop?? I need a safe word.

"You won’t let her destroy more and more realities or worlds or whatever.

It stops now."

Yes, that's the spirit! Let's go!🎉

"It seems as though Cassandra has the most control over her urges after she drinks blood from a fresh source"

But little miss Bela will be out there saying she's managing it better than her sisters😭

🥺 Cass draw Reader and Daniela sleeping???? Pls that's so cute.

I wonder if she drew some more moments of her family spending time together. That'd be like family pictures :')

Idk if they have cameras out there so

There certainly must be something wrong with me, because Cassandra is extremely attractive when she's threatening the Reader.

My lil rainbow heart was at its limits doing all the Cass paragraphs 🥴

Reading with Bela 🥺

That would be such a nice experience I bet, her voice is so soothing like she could be talking about how she cut open a manthing in the cellar and that would be like a bedtime story.

Need her to talk to me when I'm anxious <\3

Yhm yhm nvm once again giving me a slap on the face with the sweet moment followed by nothing but pure pain.

Lunatic kinda fine tho 👀 I like their evil mind, games and plans.

Mmm mmm evil people who ruin the lives of others (if only it wasn't Reader's life ). It's a love-hate relationship 😭 we gotta learn self love

DANIELA 💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💟❤

I knew sth bad would happen once again 😩

The way they argued with Bela anyway, about leaving the castle. They couldn't escape it.

Gosh I hope the Reader won't fuck up with the timeline too much this time 😭

And for now I don't trust the woman from the cellar.

And damn what killed those maids from the castle. A mystery that is yet to be solved.

i love that i saw this just as i was about to start writing again hehe

The Fool as in the tarot card >:) i'm glad someone picked up on that sdkjfhskj (there's a shit ton of symbolism that i so far haven't really seen anyone mention just yet, but hearing this made me happy :D)

*THE SAFE WORD COMMENT LMFAOOO

*can't give up hope in these trying times >:)

*listen Bela just likes to think she has that control- little miss Bela "perfect daughter" Dimitrescu is struggling BAHA

*Cass 100% has a little stash of drawings no one will ever be able to find, and it's just sketches of her family doing things she can remember or that mean something to her :')

*also tbf Cass is just attractive no matter what she does. she could threaten to cut out my tongue and i'd be like "wow say it again" LMAOOOO

*so real of you </3 Bela strikes me as someone with a voice that literally everyone loves and wants to hear (cue Daniela begging her to read just because she finds it soothing for her nightmares)

*HEHEHEHEHE, i'm trying to get better at just comfort and not as much pain following it </3

*Lunatic is honestly really smart sdkjfhs, there is a method to their madness (also have you seen the fanart done of them?? bro is cool as FUCK)

*(i promise you will learn to like them more <3)

*IN CONCLUSION: DANIELA <3333333 (i'm on my laptop so no emojis but imagine i spammed hearts)

*some things are just set in stone, as we'll see more of >:) that's the unfortunate reality of fate; no matter how hard we try, sometimes we just can't escape what was already destined to happen at some point or another

*about that...

*i definitely wouldn't! she does mean well, but... yknow... the village is a scary place, and sometimes it gives life to scarier humans forced into a certain role by the horrid shit going on

*i think chapter ten briefly implies who/what killed the maids?? if i'm not mistaken? it's often difficult to know every little thing when we only see things from one POV >:)

i hope you're still enjoying it so far, though <33

#asks #and now back to writing some bela fluff #perhaps... some spice......#ehehehe

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doodleoogles · 2 years

Text

There was also another thing I remembered. It was one lazy afternoon when I was telling him my plans for the event and the bands I have invited.

"I've drafted the schedule already. We shall start at 7PM. The goal is to end before 11PM." I said, gesturing with my fingers as I count the hours.

Despite the semi darkness in my room, I saw the smug look on his face, "Wow, so with that you mean start at 10PM?"

I crossed my eyebrows, "What?"

"You know it never happens here. People start arriving late, the bands are also late.. so you'll have the first band at maybe...9PM?" I stared to check if he was joking in any way. He wasn't.

I fought the urge to start a debate. The tone of his voice pretty much closed the conversation. His opinion is just another truth, it's the only thing that ever mattered. I inhaled deeply to control my voice, "Let's just see. You've never been to any of my event anway. You just wait and see."

"Oh and another thing," he continued, his voice sounded a matter of factly, "you should hire a really good emcee. I mean that will really set the tone for the event. The emcee should research on the bands performing and make a really good introduction. It should not be a boring show you know just waiting for the band to set up and all" he really was talking with too much belief in himself.

I shook my head "lol, no we don't do that. We've never done that even with the foreign bands. It doesn't work that way." (Emcee? I didn't tell my co-organizers on this I won't bother of course since it's over anyway but I'm imagining that if I told them, we'd have a really good laugh)

"You should listen to me. This is from a band's point of view, I am in a band too of course. We appreciate being introduced really good." his voice was oozing with confidence. (Other bands be like: Wow bro we never thought that is all we need! People don't need to buy our stuff, we just need a good introduction from an amazing emcee!)

Looking back, I thought to myself. He has the nerve to state an opinion about a show he has never been to and to say he's in a band when they've never progressed all these years? The latter is not to be blamed on him, he is really talented and devotes time to his band.

Press rewind, I was talking about the bands.

"When I first saw them in Davao, I said to myself, I will bring them to Manila. I'm really glad it's happening now." I excitedly shared.

He was nodding slowly, listening.

"You know the vocals for this band is very young. I was so surprised with how deep and full his gutturals are. At his age?! He's not even in his 20s. Imagine how much younger he was in 2019 when we did the Davao Fest....." I continued on.

"Hmmmm well.." there was no enthusiasm in his voice. "I mean these types of vocals can be learned really so can't say I'm surprised. Check out some YouTube videos, it's pretty easy."

Fast forward, I have forgotten what my response was. All I remembered was he didn't sound impressed or anything. No sign of eagerness for the younger generation in the scene or even a hint of vigour to see my show.

I think I changed the topic then. In my head, I was pissed as this person seemed hard to please. There is a term for that in our world : Elitism.

I mean he's a talented guy when it comes to music and I really liked that he can play all sorts of instruments. Name it, he can play it - guitar, drums, bass, keyboard. He can even record tracks on his phone which is amazing. His ears can distinguish sounds and that's very cool. If he had been younger and free, he would've been a very successful musician on his own. But of course I'm pretty sure he's happy with the life he had so that's just me. Point is, no matter how talented you are doesn't give you any right to disregard others who are starting out. You give credit where credit is due, support and lift others up. Being a dick doesn't make you greater than anyone. Attitude matters more than skill.

Anyway, at that time when I was so into him, I didn't dwell too much on how he reacted although I was a bit disappointed. If I discuss on the topic further, we'll just fight over it so I let it go and told myself, he'll have to wait and see.

He didn't literally get to see but I'm pretty sure he saw the updates from some of our mutual friends. I didn't expect him to show up anyway since he only attends events where he doesn't have to pay for anything. No entrance fee, no beers, no support of any kind to the organizers, bands and the venue. God, why am I only seeing these warning signs now? Guess love can really make you irrational and blind.

I'm also noticing now that when he started his business, all his friends have been supportive in sharing his Facebook page and posts. We referred to the people we know, we posted updates and we all bought his products. His group of friends are all into their own businesses as well so they know how to support start ups. Since I've known him, I never once saw him post or share or even bought from his friends. Never. I've only known him for a year I mean things may be different when life was all paradise to him but still... One year... One whole year of being a freeloader? Dude, did you drop your balls somewhere?

The lack of support for others, the shoving of opinion to your face, the know it all approach. OK fine, you might say I've been dissing you too much since you left me that I've forgotten the good things you ever did. So to be fair I'd say I admire your wise words of wisdom, your stoic knowledge, your cooking skills (thanks for the new recipes I learned) and your patience to your band mate / friend (I wished you showed the same and stayed but then it's your friend over me and I accept it now wholeheartedly). I liked your confidence (too much of it actually), and drive in life despite the hard times. You don't give up easily and you always bounce back no matter what life throws at you. I like your happy family (who never get to know who I really was in your life), the strong bond you have with each other. I liked your kids and I will miss them terribly, I wish they grow up to adapt your good traits and never the bad ones, for their own sake

I wish you'd look back more on how you have been, maybe you'll understand why life has been treating you like this. Don't know if a stoic believes in karma but many people do. I wish you get through whatever is ahead of you now after everything you did. If you ever experience something that will make you wish you don't exist, or bleed inside so bad, I hope you'll look back on the night you walked away and gave up on me. That's me saying, now we're even. Doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll be out there in the world screaming we all get what we deserve.

#dickhead #arrogance #events #opinions #journal #chef a #anger #karma

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