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formulauno98 · 2 days

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Yacht Girl Summer - Chapter One / Thursday- George Russell x Reader, Toto Wolff x Reader

It's Summer and you've been dating George Russell, golden boy of the Mercedes Formula One Team, for the last year. Outwardly it looks like the perfect relationship, travelling the world hand-in-hand with your rich and famous other half but lately you've started to feel like an accessory to his success.

When you're invited aboard his boss' yacht for the week, you start to get to know the man who so often is the object of your boyfriend's affection, enigmatic Team Principal, Toto Wolff. Steely at first, as you get to know him, you start to see why your boyfriend is so enamoured.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Nothing spicy yet. This is going to be a slow burn and if you're uncomfortable with the idea of two-timing don't read this.

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction. No use of Y/N and minimal descriptions because I want everyone/anyone to be able to enjoy this.

THURSDAY MORNING

As you packed the last of your vacation outfits into your weekend bag you sighed, thinking about how you were going to survive this week. You’d been dating your boyfriend for almost a year and things had started well but lately, you felt something was off.

For all intents and purposes, he was a catch. Good on paper as some people would say. He was a Formula One driver and a talented one at that, he was smart, he was funny (even though sometimes he didn’t mean to be) and he was kind. It also didn’t hurt that he was tall, easy on the eye and allergic to wearing a shirt ninety percent of the time.

Yes, George Russell was outwardly the perfect boyfriend. Just not the one for you. In your heart of hearts, you knew that he just wasn’t the one and it wasn’t fair to keep stringing him along. His work took precedence and you found yourself constantly making awkward small talk with random people during events, his focus entirely on his career.

To begin with, life as a Formula One partner had been exciting, a glamorous world previously closed off to you now opened. You’d accompany George to races here and there, cheering him on from the garage, living the highs and lows and trying to support him as much as you could. Then there were tennis matches, charity galas, fashion shows, and even glossy film premieres and he always needed a date.

He was quick to include you in his busy life but after a year of being treated like arm candy, playing second fiddle to George, the novelty had worn thin. You were no more than an accessory. Old men leered at you, girls were jealous and the mechanics thought you were some kind of bimbo gold-digger. It was decidedly less fun than it looked and you knew you owed it to yourself to put a stop to it.

It was difficult as George had not done anything wrong, he just sometimes forgot that you were a person and took your support for granted. You’d voiced your feelings but they were only ever met with empty promises. Even your Summer plans had been hijacked by his work as he’d cancelled the trip to South Africa that you’d booked in favour of accompanying his boss on his yacht for a week.

You’d had numerous arguments about his overly close relationship with his boss, the mildly terrifying Mercedes Team Principal, Toto Wolff. You hadn’t spent much time with the man but George practically lived in his pocket. He even stayed at his house when they worked at the factory in the UK. It was strange, to say the least, and you’d had to learn to live with the unusual dynamic between the pair of them, awkwardly saying hello to the intimidating Austrian when you were in the garage but never quite breaking through his cool demeanour.

George on the other hand, loved his boss and was constantly “Toto says this,” “Toto recommends that.” So when he’d invited him onto his yacht for the Summer, he hadn’t hesitated to drop all other plans. Even if that meant you not getting to go on the safari you’d meticulously planned.

Casting your mind back to how the conversation had gone, you were still annoyed about it.

“It’s just for a week.” George had pleaded, “And it’s good for my career to be close to Toto. I owe him everything.”

You rolled your eyes, having heard this spiel before. “Why don’t you just ask him to formally adopt you and be done with it?”

George huffed, “That wasn’t funny before and it’s not funny now. Please, just do this for me, and we can go to South Africa another time. He’s never invited us before, if we say no, who knows how long it will be if we get another invite, if ever.”

Feeling slightly guilty, you replied, “Sorry, I know that was a little mean. Look, I was just looking forward to the safari.”

“I know,” said George, his bright eyes softening as he wrapped his arms around you, “But I promise you, we’ll go soon. And besides, Toto’s yacht will be nice, you can snorkel, you can paddleboard, you’ll love it.”

Smiling slightly, you knew you wouldn’t be going to South Africa any time soon, George’s schedule was too full on. And that’s why you knew you needed to end things soon. He hadn’t done anything wrong but you had lost yourself in George’s calendar.

Swallowing your thoughts, you knew that he’d already said yes on your behalf so it was too late to back out, “I guess, and like you said, it’s only a week.”

“There’s my girl.” George kissed you lightly on the cheek, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

THURSDAY AFTERNOON

Having successfully packed, you and George had been driven down to the marina to board the yacht. You felt a little nervous as you walked beside George towards the imposing vessel you’d be spending the week on. It was one of the larger boats docked and you could already see various members of staff milling about on deck.

You didn’t know Toto very well beyond saying hello and you weren’t sure what to expect outside of racing. He always seemed very serious and calculating, and still reeling from his acrimonious divorce, not the most fun person to holiday with. You knew that a few of George’s colleagues and their wives and girlfriends would be there too so you hoped that they at least might be somewhat entertaining.

Stepping off of the passarelle and onto the boat behind George, he suddenly dropped your luggage and started waving manically as he spotted his formidable boss standing on the sundeck above.

“Hi Toto!” he called out.

“Welcome!” Toto called out, disappearing momentarily before reappearing at the bottom of the stairs in front of you. He was dressed casually but smartly in head-to-toe navy with dark sunglasses.

“How are you both?” he said kindly, stretching out to George for a warm embrace before holding his arms out to you.

Half hugging him awkwardly, you replied, “Very well thank you, thank you again for the invite, we’ve been excited all week.”

Thrilled that you were buttering up his boss, George chimed in, “Yes, we’ve been counting down the days.”

“Glad to hear it,” said Toto, smiling contently, “The others arrived a short while ago so are at the front. Perhaps Livia can show you to your cabin and then you can come and join us for a drink?”

He gestured at a young blonde stewardess who had discreetly appeared from inside, ready to show you to your quarters.

“Thanks, Toto.” said George, clapping his boss on the shoulder enthusiastically before following Livia, “We’ll be right back.”

Taken aback that George had followed Livia without remembering to pick up your two weekend bags you shook your head as you were left struggling to pick them up and follow. Typical George.

“Here, let me help.” a deep, accented voice offered. Turning around, you were surprised to see Toto standing there, his arm outstretched.

“Oh…” you said blushing and tripping over your words, “It’s okay, honestly. I think George was overexcited to see his room.”

Toto smiled, taking the two bags from you despite your protests, lifting them effortlessly, “That’s our George.”

Smiling reluctantly, you agreed as you followed Toto inside, “Indeed.”

At least his boss seemed like a gentleman.

THURSDAY EVENING

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pastel pink, dinner that evening was set against an idyllic backdrop. You and George being the last to arrive, all guests were now on board and the yacht had finally set sail for your week-long jaunt into the Mediterranean.

The crew had prepared a cosy dinner on the deck, complete with twinkling fairy lights and a long table set for seven. Toto was sat at the head of the table, yourself and James, the Mercedes Technical Director either side of him.

On your other side was James’ wife, Cara, and across from you diagonally was the Communications Director’s wife, Marion. Making up the other end of the table was George and the Communications Director himself, John, who were chatting animatedly and ignoring everyone else.

As the two other couples knew each other well, James, Cara and Marion were equally engrossed in conversation with Toto, leaving you awkwardly eating in silence, trying your best to not give in to the pang of loneliness you felt.

As the dinner progressed, you couldn’t help but notice how isolated you felt. The laughter and chatter of the others a stark contrast to your internal turmoil. You tried to engage in small talk with the people around you, but your thoughts kept drifting back to your problems with George.

This was yet another evening you’d spent surrounded by people yet isolated because you didn’t fit in. You were a side character in George’s life, there when it was convenient and discarded when someone more important was around.

Not one to miss a trick, Toto noticed your distraction. "Is everything alright?" he asked, his voice gentle yet concerned.

You forced a smile. "Yes, just feeling a little seasick." You weren’t proud of the lie but figured it might be the best way forward to get out of this agonising dinner.

His eyes crinkled with concern, he nodded, understandingly. "Sometimes it takes a while to get used to being at sea. Would you like to go up to the sun deck? The air is fresher, it might help."

Grateful for the offer and the opportunity to escape, you nodded. "That sounds nice, thank you."

Excusing yourself from the table you made your way to the stairs up to the sun deck. You glanced back at George, not surprised to see he was yet to clock your departure from the table. More surprising, however, was the fact that Toto had gotten up to follow you. You hadn’t expected him to accompany you and were slightly taken aback as the tall Austrian followed you up the stairs.

Dreading yet more awkward small talk, you wandered to the front of the sun deck, where the moonlight was pooling on the pristine white sun loungers. You leaned against the railing, taking in the tranquil scene.

"This is beautiful," you said softly, more to yourself than to Toto who had slotted himself a few feet to your right.

"It is," Toto agreed. "It’s one of the reasons I love being out here. It’s a good place to think, to clear your mind."

You turned to him, genuinely curious. "Do you come out here often?"

He smiled, a distant look in his eyes. "Whenever I can. It helps me balance the chaos of work."

You nodded, understanding the sentiment. "I can see why. It’s so peaceful and you were right, the air does feel fresher."

Toto nodded and for a moment, the two of you stood in comfortable silence, just listening to the sounds of the sea.

Suddenly feeling somewhat awkward that you were standing gazing in the moonlight with your boyfriend’s boss, you chanced striking up more of a conversation. You were somewhat intrigued as to why George was so enamoured with the Team Principal and you had to seize the opportunity as quickly as it came.

“Thank you for everything you do for George,” you said, hoping to sound genuine.

Toto looked somewhat surprised and a little amused at your words, “It’s no trouble, he’s a good boy.”

Laughing at Toto calling George a boy, you pushed a little further, “I mean it. I honestly do.”

“I know.” said Toto, his gaze intense as he turned to you, “How are you feeling?”

“A little better actually,” you lied, “It’s also more stable up here, downstairs I felt like I was swishing around.”

“Swishing around?” Toto asked, quirking an eyebrow, “I don’t think I’ve heard it called that.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, not sure what he was getting at.

“Look, I could see you were not feeling comfortable at dinner.” he said, somewhat bluntly, “I see you when you are in the garage too. You always look ready to bolt. Are you not a fan of racing?”

Taken aback by his astute judgment and surprised that he'd noticed, you felt defensive and mumbled quietly “It’s not that.”

Toto looked unconvinced, “I get it, you’re shy.”

“A little,” you confessed, “It’s a lot sometimes.”

Toto’s face softened, his brown eyes warm as he looked at you, “I understand. It’s not easy. You get used to it though.”

Thinking about the fact that you probably wouldn’t need to if you went through with your break-up plan, you just nodded, pretending that you agreed with his wisdom, “I hope so.”

“You will.” he said kindly, “So George tells me you like to travel a lot?”

“I do,” you said, surprised that he was now being chatty, “But not so much to the races, I like to escape in nature, it’s good for the soul.”

A smirk flickered on Toto’s lips, “I agree. If you’d like we can go exploring tomorrow. There are some coves around here we can stop at.”

“For real?” you asked, even more surprised that he was willing to bend his itinerary for you, someone he barely knew.

“For real,” he said succinctly. “And if the others don’t like it, they can stay on the boat and sunbathe.”

Laughing, you smiled at him, “Sounds like a plan.”

“I’m glad I can make you smile.” he said, his face serious, “You looked sad down there.”

Not sure how to reply, you looked down at your feet, choosing your words carefully before looking back up at Toto “I’m just seasick. That’s all.”

Thoroughly unconvinced, Toto quirked an eyebrow, “Tomorrow you will feel better. I promise. Shall we go back to dinner? I’m sure George will be missing you.”

“I’m not sure about that.” you said quietly, causing Toto to raise his eyebrow once more, “He’ll be chatting away to John, I bet.”

“How much?” asked Toto as you both made your way towards the stairs.

“Two euros,” you said jokingly.

“It’s a bet,” replied Toto, holding out his hand to shake with all the seriousness that he would when making a business deal.

“Deal,” you said, taking his large hand in yours, grinning as you met the laughing Austrian’s eyes.

Sure enough, as you made your way back down the stairs towards the table, George was still chatting away to John, barely pausing for breath, let alone noticing the two of you taking back to your seats.

“How would you like to pay?” you asked Toto cheekily, as you both sat down, “I can accept cash, cheque or credit card”

“What’s Toto paying you for?” asked James, stopping mid-conversation, his interest suddenly piqued.

“We made a bet.” said Toto, clasping his hands under his chin, “It’s a secret though.”

James looked slightly sceptical, turning to you for more information, “Care to elaborate?”

“Deals have to be discrete.” you said, fighting the urge to laugh as Toto’s eyes sparkled at you, “Toto will be the first one to tell you that.”

Slightly tipsy, James laughed, not pressing further and returning to his animated discussion with the two older women. Glancing down at the other end of the table, George had barely looked up and once more you felt a pang of disappointment. He was clueless sometimes.

– – –

As dinner came to a close, Toto announced the plan for the next day.

“Tomorrow morning, we’ll be exploring some of the coves around here. It will be an early start but should be fun. Who’s interested?”

George and John immediately expressed their interest, nodding eagerly. “Count us in!” George said, his enthusiasm reminding you of a child on a school trip.

James, Cara and Marion were less enthused about the early start and politely declined, deciding instead to stay on the boat, soaking in the sun.

Toto turned to you with a gentle smile. “How about you?”

You nodded, feeling genuinely excited for the first time in a while. “I’d love to.”

– – –

Having sussed out tomorrow’s plan and the seven am start, you bid your gracious host and fellow guests goodnight and you and George finally made your way to your shared quarters. The silence between you was palpable, each step echoing your unspoken thoughts.

Once inside the cabin, George broke the silence. “What were you doing going off with Toto?” he asked a hint of accusation in his tone.

You sighed, sitting down on the bed “I felt seasick and needed some fresh air so Toto suggested the sun deck. That’s all.”

George’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You could have told me.”

“I could have,” you admitted, your voice softening. “But you were busy with John and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

At this, George’s expression softened just a fraction and he settled down beside you. “Okay. I just... I don’t know… Let me know next time. I don’t want you feeling seasick and me not being there to help.”

You smiled sadly, knowing that for all of his faults, his heart was in the right place, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He nodded, wrapping his arm around you, “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” you said, leaning into him, feeling somewhat guilty that you had ignored him in favour of his boss.

“What were you talking about though?” he asked suddenly.

“We were talking about you and then this and that.” you said, before adding, “He’s actually quite nice. I get it now.”

At that, George looked a little put out but dropped the subject quickly, getting up to get ready for bed. As he busied himself unpacking his pyjamas, you couldn’t help but think of Toto, he was nicer than you’d given him credit for.

For the first time in a long while, you felt like someone had considered you as a person and not as George’s plus one. It was a good feeling to ponder as you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the adventure that awaited you tomorrow.

#toto wolff fanfic #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff x you #toto wolff #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #toto wolff x y/n #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #george russell x reader #George Russell x you

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seroh · 3 days

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long way down

atsumu, f.reader

angst. break up. atsumu falls out of love and is a dick about it.

words: 0.7K

Smiling faces stared at you as they sang your happy birthday. The flames of the candles casted dancing lights on them, the bright decorations behind them sparkled in turn. Their voices synced together with such warmth and joy that you were surprised they hadn’t managed to infect you. Though, you supposed, there were some things not even your family’s love could cure.

Your eyes danced between your cake and the front door. Desperate and hopeful, you couldn’t help the frantic waltz. You had been doing it all day. As if your boyfriend would suddenly walk in, gift in hand and apologies on his lips. As if he would kiss you and say he loved you, before sheepishly asking if they could all sing Happy Birthday together just one more time. And you would blow the candles and he’d kiss you on the cheek, whispering he had been a fool and hoped you could forgive him.

The singing died out and the little flames were blown out, and yet there was no sign of him. With a forced smile, you received every hug and “Happy birthday”s from your family. You diligently ate the cake your sister had baked and laughed along to the fond memories of your childhood and teenage years everyone shared. When your mother brought out a board game, you were right in the middle, calling out your brothers for cheating at it. And when your younger brother suggested singing karaoke, you were the first one to grab the mic and utterly destroy your favorite song.

Through it all, you fought back the bitter tears.

On the drive back, however, there was no denying the black hole that had swallowed your heart. The future you had built so high came crumbling down before you. Every little piece of love and hope toppled down and crashed hard against the ground. Shattered. Utterly destroyed. The point of no return.

Atsumu was sitting at the dinner table when you arrived. He barely glanced up from his food to welcome you, a half hearted “I hope you had fun” floated in the air between you. Empty words from an empty love. A second later his eyes were back on his phone. You stood there, awkward and out of place, feeling uncomfortable in a place you used to call home.

“I’m leaving you.” You blurted out, before you could even stop to think about it.

“Ok.” Came the curt response. His eyes remained on his phone.

Silence. Cold. Apathy. Three perfect words to describe Atsumu’s demeanor towards you. Three perfect words to describe what your relationship had turned into. You were breaking up with him, and yet Atsumu couldn’t deign to pretend he cared. Not even then could you get an ounce of his attention. You weren’t even sure he understood what you were saying.

Every now and then, you found yourself trying to pinpoint the moment where things went wrong, the moment he stopped loving you. And every time, you came to a dead end. Even now, packing your bags in the room you had shared, you were unable to find an answer to your question.

Stopping in front of him, suitcase at your side, you cried, “Don’t you even care? I’m not coming back, Atsumu.”

You thought it ironic that, after all those months, that year, of begging and pleading to be heard, it was your leaving for good that finally caught his attention.

“Wait, what?” He said, eloquently. “You can’t be serious.” He raised to his feet, phone forgotten at last. “Is this a joke? Are you trying to get back at me for today? You know I have a big game tomorrow, don’t play with me like that.”

The game. His game. Him, him, and only him. Even during your breakup it was his feelings, his events that mattered more. You scoffed and laughed through your tears. A bitter laugh. A resentful laugh. Atsumu stared confused, then rolled his eyes and muttered about you trying to mess with his head before his game. About how unfunny it was, how ungrateful you were, how selfish and annoying.

Your fault. Your neediness. You, you and only you. There was no one to blame but you, not in his eyes at least. You always asked too much, expected too much. Even when you settled for endless nights alone and his loveless affection. Even when you tried not to say a word. Even when you swallowed your pain and let it kill you from inside. It was everything on you.

Without another word to spare, you turned around and walked out the house. Atsumu didn’t go after you.

SEROH 2024

#atsumu angst #haikyuu angst #miya atsumu angst #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

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paragonraptors · 1 day

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YEHAW DA:V REVEAL THOUGHTS BELOW!!

Overall: Feeling so excited for this game. I'm climbing up the walls. I can't believe that was 20 minutes, it felt like 10. Need this in my hands yesterday.

What I liked:

-Holy fuck wow wow wow the hair looks like nothing I've seen in a video game before.

-Combat seems very different but also a natural progression of gameplay past. Real-time turn-based was always a little on the clunkier side, and while it never really bothered me, moving towards something more ME-style was expected. Very excited about being able to aim a bow. Would like to know what difficulty they were showcasing bc I'm considering jumping right into a Nightmare run.

-Now that I've been soulsborne-pilled the prospect of a parry mechanic has me buzzing.

-I feel like people are gonna dunk on the "stiffer" animation, but I prefer it so much more than the BG3/HZD constant wobbling. It'll make the key performances stand out instead of mostly jangling keys in front of a baby and letting the big moments get lost in the sauce. (Not that the aformentioned games didn't have good animation, just. If your characters don't need to move their whole body to convey dialogue I'd prefer if they didn't.)

-The sublety in the facial animations is CRAZY.

-The roleplay dialogue seems really reactive!! And the cuts to inject the unique dialogues feels smooth. I'm sure there will still be moments where it's easy to tell, but still cool. Seems like they're gonna be paying more attention to your personality type like DA2 too.

-So excited about Harding and Neve as companions and can't wait to meet everyone else.

-Neve's staff/wand makes me excited to see what kinds of focus options we'll get as a mage AAAA.

-God the costumes have so much swag. One of my hottest of many BG3 takes was that the costumes were overall flavorless. (Really hoping they didn't change the Grey Warden uniforms though that would really disappoint me.)

-Cinematography looks fantastic. Lots of well set up shots.

-NGL I felt something when Solas showed up. Wasn't expecting that. And while not perfect, I liked his interaction with Varric. Their relationship from Inquisition really slips under the radar if you're not bothering to look.

-Varric has never gotten over the trauma of what happened with Anders and it breaks my heart in a good way. God you could see it in his eyes!! [chef's kiss]

-However, I definitely have to kill Solas now for what transpired in this preview.

What I'm iffy about:

-The voice peformances feel a bit stilted. Not really what I'm used to from Bioware and I feel like it's important when the animations are more subdued. Hopefully this feeling will change when I get more of the game.

-The dialogue also felt a bit dumbed down. "Solas is doing his ritual!" "Yes. Solas' ritual. The ritual that we have to stop." Again, hopefully this is symptomatic of a tutorial level/trying to onboard newbies quickly and not the whole game lol. While I prefer this to dialogue that tries to sound smarter than it is, I'm really hoping we see an overall improvement from Inquisition.

-Sort of wish they went with the Andromeda dialogue system instead of bringing back Inquisition's, but I do like that it seems all dialogue options are getting tonal indicators again and they're not as easily conflated with morality. (Though I imagine people will STILL interpret it that way.)

-A little confused about them introducting Minrathous' panopticon shit and then immediately swerving into Solas' ritual. Would have liked some breathing room on that kind of worldbuilding.

- While I'm generally open minded about the change, I Do Not Love not being able to switch to playing companions. Might turn around on this if your ability to issue them commands opens up the closer you are to them/the more you grow into a leadership role. I do like that it seems you will eventually be able to command when they use abilities a la OG Mass Effect bc that was my biggest beef with the Andromeda gameplay, esp on Nightmare/Insanity difficulty.

-Not crazy about the new Pride demon design where are their leggies.

-Not really a Criticism, but they are definitely setting up for Varric to die and while I get it, narratively, I'm NOT HAPPY. Dragon Age has been almost allergic to scripted deaths so it's also gonna feel like being dunked in an ice bath. EVIL STUFF. IN DENIAL.

#dragon age #dragon age spoilers #had to come back to add some things i forgot

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honeytae · 3 days

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this was originally supposed to be very soft…oops! :)

the first half is inspired by a dream i had about jimin that literally had me waking up in tears + the second half is inspired by ‘thinking bout you’ by ariana grande which happened to come on shuffle play a few mins later. voilà!

genre: angst, fluff, smut

wc: 3.8k

warnings: moderate angst (eludes to enl*stment), a lot of tears, language, looots of kissing, making out, grinding, oral activities, and unprotected sex (don’t). explicit description of sexual acts: minors dni.

jimin wakes with a deeply wounded sound that could be described as the world’s most dramatic grunt.

he absolutely hates waking up alone. everyone knows he’s a natural cuddler, born to hold others and be held.

ideally, by you.

blinking harshly against the afternoon sun streaming through the window, jimin stretches his arm out to your side of the bed, huffing when he comes across cold sheets.

he blows another deep breath out of his mouth as he rolls over to check the time, slowly breaking out of his post-nap haze.

“good morning, sleepy head.”

jimin perks up at the sound of your voice. on cue, you step through the doorway, looking equally sleepy while clutching your favorite mug.

you shuffle across the bedroom, smiling fondly at the man as his legs kick out and ruffle the sheets when he sits up.

“you left me,” he juts out his bottom lip, reaching for you impatiently as you lower yourself onto the mattress.

“i’m sorry, babe,” you pout back, directing your eyes to the mug by way of explanation, “i woke up with a craving for chai tea,” you continue, handing the mug over as you settle in next to him.

“well, i woke up with a craving for you,” he quips, sassily raising the mug to his lips as you lovingly roll your eyes at him.

he makes a satisfied hum as he swallows the sweet tea, showing his enthusiasm with a bob of his head.

pressing his lips together, he hands the mug back to you, watching as you take another sip before leaning over to set it down on the nightstand.

when you sit back against the pillows and look at jimin, you feel a rush of warmth spread through your chest. you aren’t entirely used to seeing him right here, next to you, so content.

there have been so many times when you sat up at night thinking about him, worrying about him, craving him, all while he was more distant than he had ever been throughout your relationship. and this wasn’t even by his design.

it makes you emotional, the way he easily nestles into your side, the way his hand gravitates to yours, and the gentle concern in his eyes as he watches your own well up with tears.

“hey,” he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, “what is it, angel?” he whispers, pressing his forehead to yours as he searches your eyes, hoping for a clue while he gives you the time to gather yourself enough to speak.

“i just can’t believe you’re here,” you eventually say, much quieter than you intended. “and i’m so happy,” you emphasize. your heart sinks when jimin’s eyes mirror your own, glistening with unshed tears.

your exchange of emotion is wordless for a long moment, as you are addressing the obvious. you are here, together, but only for now. you are happy and content, but only for now. and as much as you try to combat your pessimism, you are a realist at heart.

in a few days, jimin will inevitably leave again.

your hands pull towards his crumpling face like a magnet, cupping his jaw and swiping your thumbs along his soft cheeks when the salty drops descend down his skin, leaning forward to press your lips to his wobbly pair.

“i miss you so much,” he sniffs, eyebrows furrowing as he takes notice of your now wet cheeks, “i always miss you,” he chokes on a sob, the sound pulling on all your heartstrings and delivering a swift punch to the gut.

it makes you want to cry even more watching him be so upset, desperately trying to push the lump in your throat away for the sake of your limited time together. you fail miserably, letting your head fall onto his shoulder as more tears break free.

“please don’t cry,” you sob in return, “not about this. it’s okay, baby,” the latter part of your statement is muffled as jimin pulls you closer to crush you in his arms, nestling his head into your neck as his back still shakes with unsteady breaths.

“please don’t cry,” you reiterate with a sniffle of your own, looping your arms around his back as you both dig deeper into the embrace.

“then you don’t cry! it breaks my heart,” he pouts, squeezing your hand again as he presses a chaste kiss to your chin, a contented sigh leaving him when you turn your face to kiss him.

your lips meld together sweetly, sharing one, two, three, soft kisses full of the taste of salt from your combined tears.

you pull back and allow your tired head to fall onto his shoulder again, jimin placing his head on yours with another soft sigh.

“fuck,” he tsks after a quiet moment, turning his face to look at you with swollen eyes.

you chuckle humorlessly, stretching your neck to gingerly press your lips to the drying tear trails on his face. the apples of his cheeks appear as you do so, eyes creasing as he grins down at you.

“i’m sorry for being depressing. i swear i had fun plans when i first came in here,” you sigh, smiling when jimin smushes your cheeks together with his hand and pecks the damp skin with his lips, as you did him.

“don’t be sorry. this has been a lot,” he frowns, “and we needed the cry.”

you hum in agreement, turning onto your side and settling deeper into his chest as his fingers soothingly dance along your shoulder.

“i love you so much,” he murmurs, hand tracing down to rub calming circles into your back.

it doesn't matter how often you hear jimin say that he loves you; you have determined that your heart will nearly combust every time.

so you grin like a fool and hoist yourself up onto your elbows, hands settling on his bare chest. your eyes fondly dance along his features, from his sparkling eyes to his adorable button nose, to the perfect puffy pillows he has for lips.

“i love you so much,” you trace his skin, running your thumb along the ridges in his abdomen. “this is new,” you comment on his physique with a quirked brow, jimin’s face breaking into a big, beautiful smile as he laughs shyly.

“wow,” you carry on, and embarrassed, he waves you off, which only encourages you to amp up the act.

“what, you want me to ignore this? i mean, i’ve never seen an eight pack before!” you exclaim, grinning when you see that he’s now totally flushed pink, both from the way your nail traces down his happy trail and your praise.

“stop it,” he whines, “you’re torturing me. come up here,” he gestures, patting his thighs. you lift a leg to straddle his waist, lowering yourself to sit on his hips.

it’s instinctive and effortless, the way you fall down onto his chest. the way his hands travel down your lower back to rest on your ass, sinking his fingers into the flesh with what could only be described as a sigh of relief.

resting your face in the juncture between his chest and neck, you pucker your lips on the skin there, then move over to the column of his throat to do the same, and down to his collarbone. his breath catches in his throat when you open your mouth against him, hissing a breath through his teeth when you drag your tongue along the skin.

“sensitive,” you tease as you pick your head up, the smirk falling right off your face as he lifts his hand and delivers a sharp smack to your ass. you inhale a sharp gasp as a hot wave of arousal washes over you, and the mood change in the room is instantaneous.

jimin’s mouth actively seeks yours like a moth to a flame, lips colliding in a mess of teeth and tongue that has you keening for more. you moan into each other's mouths as he fondles your ass, sneaking a finger down between your legs to rub you through your dampening shorts.

the thought of jimin being unreachable again was constant worry gnawing at you. but for now, you are rested, reunited, and so, so in love.

and frankly, more than a little needy.

your tongues lazily tangle together as jimin traces his hands up your body, settling on your stomach and caressing the skin. you could almost laugh at the contradiction between the gentle circles he’s rubbing into your tummy versus the way he’s currently sucking on your tongue.

when you can no longer ignore the burning in your lungs, you lift yourself from his mouth, jimin swiftly taking the opportunity to lift your t-shirt over your head and chuck it across the room.

he stares at your bare chest with a deep groan, cupping your breasts and gently squeezing the tissue in his hands.

“fucking love it when you don’t wear a bra,” he says, tweaking your nipples between skilled thumbs.

“yeah? wanna burn all my bras?” you smirk, jaw falling slack when he dips forward to close his mouth around your nipple. he sucks on the aching nub until you’re whining his name, breaking away for only a moment to answer you.

“happily,” he simpers, switching to your other neglected breast. he encourages you with open palms on the small of your waist when you arch your back and push your chest further into him.

he pops off your chest with a shaky breath as your hips instinctively grind down on his lap, an airy whine erupting from the back of your throat at the feeling of his bulge poking into you.

“fuck, baby, just like that,” jimin instructs with a soft moan, laying back against the pillows as his hands move to support your gyrating hips.

lowering yourself so your face hovers above his, you support yourself using the pillow beneath his head as you begin slowly rocking your hips along the tent in his boxers, back and forth, back and forth.

the friction is making you feel dizzy, rubbing you in all the right spots.

plus, the eye contact isn’t helping your case at all. jimin’s half-shut eyelids send a stronger pulse between your legs. all you can concentrate on is chasing the pleasure you feel right now, taking jimin’s short breaths as confirmation that you two are in the same boat.

“jimin, baby,” you breathe, reluctantly stilling your hips, “i really could cum right now and that scares me.”

your mouth twitches into a grin when he lets out a belly laugh in response, moving his hands up and down your back to help bring you back to earth.

“me too,” he chuckles, “it’s only slightly humiliating,” he says as he kisses your shoulder, his head easily falling back onto the pillows as you meet his lips again.

jimin moans into your mouth as your other hand suddenly slips into his boxer shorts, wrapping your fingers around the base of him and closing your hand around him to squeeze his shaft. his eyes shift to look at your hand down his pants, but close as soon as you swipe your thumb across his tip.

you’re dragging your hand up and down on him, tracing your smallest finger over the dull pulse shooting up his cock. low whines are leaving his lips, his hand grasping your side when you quicken your pace.

“oh god,” he rasps, “you have to stop, baby.”

when you continue your actions with a pout, he leans forward to press his lips to the wrinkle temporarily formed in your chin.

“but i wanna make you feel good,” you say. you still allow him to fully sit up, dropping his cock with a reluctant sigh.

“well, i wanna make you feel good too. do we have a deal?,” he grins as he takes hold of your ankles and pulls you toward the end of the bed, your eagerness showing in the way you shimmy out of your shorts and underwear in one go. you chuck said items across the room, jimin immediately sinking to his knees on the floor.

you shudder as he starts pressing open-mouthed kisses to the inside of your thighs, obviously teasing as you push your hips impatiently toward him.

“baby, please,” you beg, and he seems to get the message. placing his hands underneath your calves, he lifts your legs and guides them over his shoulders.

as you look down at him devilishly smiling between your thighs, you think that he would give the cheshire cat a run for his money.

when his mouth finally meets the area begging for his attention most, you let out a broken cry of his name, fisting the sheets beside you as he languidly strokes his tongue through the arousal spilling from you.

“hmmh,” he moans into you, making you shudder from the vibration, knees going weak as he circles your clit with a pointed tongue.

your vision goes black once you feel one of his fingers circling your entrance, pushing its way in after you let out a garbled plea to the ceiling. he thrusts with one finger then adds another, hooking them to rub your sweet spot.

you feel a rush of heat rise in your cheeks at his actions, clenching the sheets with a whine as you start rocking your hips to fuck yourself onto his fingers.

“oh fuck, oh fuck! baby,” you whine, letting a hand sneak down to settle on his head, gripping his hair and tugging just how he likes.

it’s only been a few minutes and you can feel that you’re embarrassingly close, especially with the way jimin tauntingly drags his fingers just right along your walls, hitting your g spot with each pointed thrust of his hand. the pressure keeps building, electricity rippling through your lower abdomen as he hits your cervix.

“i-i’m gonna cum,” you stutter, jimin throwing an arm over your stomach to stop your writhing, holding you in place as he dips down to essentially make out with your clit.

and then the band snaps, time slows, and you’re falling, falling, falling.

when your vision comes back, jimin is above you, running his hands up and down your now sore leg muscles.

you reach out to place your hand on his shoulder, squeezing the muscle then bringing your palm around to cup the back of his neck.

“oh my god, i love you,” you breathe, chest still stuttering from your high.

“i love you more,” he coos, bringing his hand up to your hair, carefully smoothing it away from your face with his fingers.

it’s quiet for a moment as your head slows its spinning. jimin’s dark pupils pull you back to earth, glittering with your reflection.

“you okay, my love?” he murmurs softly, shifting his hand so he can swipe his thumb over your cheek. his appendage moves when you bob your head in response, flashing him a tired grin.

“never been better,” you confirm, “ready for round two?”

jimin crinkles his nose in amusement, dipping down to eagerly meet your lips. sighs and moans pass between you as he licks into your mouth, the taste of you rubbing off onto your tongue.

you pull him in tighter to you, jimin’s hips thrusting into yours in pursuit of stimulation. you buck your hips up to meet his, the lazy pace of your grind far from satisfying your need.

“fuck me, baby, please,” you break apart from the kiss with a whine, tracing your hands down his body to slip your fingers beneath his waistband once again.

this time, jimin eagerly straightens up, pushing his shorts down his legs and tossing them aside. his length slaps up against his stomach, and oh my god, you think, he’s so hard it looks like it hurts.

“on your side, baby,” he says with a soft pat to your ass, erupting into giggles when you all too enthusiastically flip over, leaving him to bounce on the bed beside you.

you eagerly settle back into his chest as he spoons you from behind, his arm wrapping around your torso to pull you as close to him as he can. you can feel the rhythm of his heartbeat pressing into your back, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder.

“i love that this is the only time you’re the big spoon,” you tease, gasping when he lifts your leg and slides his cock through your wet folds.

as much as you like to tease jimin, you find that you like the end result of him shutting you up much better.

“fuck,” you whisper as he bumps his tip into your swollen clit, needily rocking your hips back to slide along his length.

“jimin, please,” you beg, and you don’t even recognize your own voice. you sound desperate, and with anyone else you would feel embarrassed. but it’s jimin, who doesn’t miss a beat and instead leaves a wet smack of his lips on your shoulder, lining his cock up with your entrance and pushing the tip inside of you.

“oh,” you blow a breath through clenched teeth at the intrusion, fingers digging into the pillow beside your head as pleasure spreads through your core already.

jimin grunts as he shifts his hips forward to inch inside, pulling back and thrusting more of himself into you. he curses as you squeeze him, letting his face fall into your neck.

a moan erupts from your chest as he bottoms out, while jimin blows out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“fuck, so good. you’re so good for me,” he moans, sounding entirely delirious as he feels you wrapped around him like this for the first time in months.

he leans down to pepper kisses over your cheeks as he waits for you to adjust to him, pressing one last kiss to the side of your head as you nod for him to go.

“you sure?” he asks, chuckling when you try to thrust your hips onto him yourself. he follows your movements, gently pulling back and easily sinking into your entrance.

“fuck, yes, i’m sure,” you moan breathlessly.

jimin is increasingly vocal as your walls clamp down around him, sucking him in each time he pulls out. he’s panting and repeating your name like a mantra, and you aren’t faring much better.

“jimin, make it hurt,” you cry out, muffled into the pillow you’ve buried your face into.

he bends your knee up further to spread you wider for him and picks up his pace, thighs clapping against your ass deliciously. the bed springs are crying out for help, the headboard banging against the wall as he carries you to the brink of another orgasm.

“baby, i’m close,” you whimper.

jimin moans gibberish in response, a sure sign that he’s almost there, too. you clench your muscles down on him, causing the flurry of noises from his mouth to increase.

the ball of heat is growing within your core, sweat beading on your forehead. you reach your arm behind you to hook around jimin’s neck, turning your head to face jimin. and that’s really what does it.

he looks destroyed, eyes closed and eyebrows scrunched together. his mouth is hanging open, his chest visibly rising and falling as he rapidly thrusts into you, chasing ultimate relief.

you’re suddenly thrown into another orgasm, the feeling of your walls spasming around jimin’s cock giving him the final push he needs.

you watch with dazed eyes as he quickly pulls out and strokes his cock in his hand, warm ropes of cum spurting from his tip to your ass, some drops landing on your lower back.

jimin breathes heavily behind you, and while it’s tempting to cuddle you back to sleep, he begins to shuffle off the bed.

“noooo,” you whine in complaint, reaching out for him with a limp arm.

“i’ll be right back,” he coos, leaning over to kiss each of your knuckles before standing up and leaving you in the room.

he comes back minutes later with a cloth in one hand and a glass of water in the other. after passing the glass to you, he climbs back into bed and swipes the wet fabric over your backside.

once he’s deemed you clean, he tosses the rag onto his other clothes littering the floor, and settles back into the mess of sheets and pillows. he reaches out to help as you turn your weak body around so you’re facing him, arms looping around his neck.

the air in the room is thick, an aspect confirmed by the distant sound of the air conditioner clicking on. nonetheless, you bury yourself into jimin’s neck, smiling when you feel the drag of his bottom lip against your ear as he collects himself from a yawn.

you’re almost drifting off when you hear his voice, but you’ve missed what he said. you hum in an unspoken request for him to repeat himself, straightening up to show him you’re listening.

he takes a breath, then pauses for a moment. you can hear that he’s debating something in his head, and just as you’re about to try to encourage him, he comes out with a rare statement.

“can i tell you a secret?”

your interest is piqued by his request, opening your eyes with an eager nod.

jimin hates secrets, so he tends to tell you everything. some may say he overshares; you, however, would disagree.

“‘course,” is all you can manage, completely spent as numb fingers search to interlock with his own.

“when this is all over,” he starts, tracing his thumb along your knuckles and stopping at your fourth finger, “i’m gonna marry you.”

your breath hitches in your throat, eyes widening as you search for any hint of teasing in his features.

what you find instead is a gentle gleam in his eye, pupils staring into your soul as he glows from the inside out. he looks as if a weight has been lifted from him, and you wonder how long he’d been thinking about this before he gained the courage to put it out there.

you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks, covering your face with open palms as you break out into a giddy grin.

“you can’t just say that,” you laugh, allowing him to pull your body up and over him so that you’re lying on his chest.

“well, for now, i’m just saying it,” he retorts, “but i fully plan on being your husband for as long as you let me.”

you run your fingers across his pecs as you let his words soak in, nuzzling your cheek into his chest with increasingly misty eyes.

“i’d really like that.”

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cottoncandyswisherz · 3 days

Text

bae i luh you

peaches asked, so i delivered because who am i to say no to a god?

bf!chris x gf!reader

warnings: fluff, HATING ASS HOE, suggestive, swearing,

the bass was BOOMING in the tara's living room. today was nicks second space camp drop and ms. yummy insisted on celebrating with a party because of course.

as y/n stepped into the house she was assaulted by the smell of alcohol and sweat.

someone needed a fucking speedstick because DAMN!

anyway, she was brought out of her thoughts by her boyfriends arm being snaked around her waist as she walked.

"you alright chris?" she asked.

"yeah im good. im just not trynna get fucked up tonight, so you gotta stay close." he reassured her.

"i wasn't leaving your side anyway." she said, grabbing his hand and making her way to their crew. "SUP SLUTS?" she shouted and everybody cheered.

and the night went on just like that.

taking a shot for solidarity, partying with their friends, and losing themselves in the night. everyone danced and enjoyed each othe

r. chris and y/n particularly enjoyed each other.

suddenly y/n's new favorite song came on. as soon as she heard that "i say HOOOOO BABBYYYYY" a switch flipped.

the moment was no longer about enjoying the feeling of chris being semi-hard on her ass. it was about letting the whole house know that he was hers.

and wreck-it ralph himself couldn't break that.

so she did what any self-respecting woman would do. she began screaming the lyrics to him while moving her body and making heart hands.

bae i love you you my everything im yo main bitch fuck a wedding ring

chris just laughed and began singing along with her, pulling her body to his, so their noses were touching.

in this moment, y/n realized how much she loved chris. what she'd do for him. she'd keep every secret. she'd lie for him. she'd kill for him. she'd die for him. she'd live for him.

did it scare her? fuck yes.

she was supposed to be a pimp, not a lover girl. and she only knew this man for a year. but if president sexyy can be tied down than so can she.

i only knew him for a week but i swear thats my boo i might let the nigga trap me bitch my summer through but dont give a fuck do anythang for you

the couple was in la la land (ryan gosling hit me up!) as they danced and laughed and loved up on each other.

to the untrained eye, it was disgusting. but to their friends, it was the moment they'd all been waiting for.

matt smiled with pride at the side of chris being with who he really wanted to be with, rather than who he think people want him to be with.

nick was shocked at chris being so openly in a relationship after physically cringing at the mere thought of sharing a scooter with a girl, but happy for him nonetheless.

tara was damn near in tears, seeing y/n being her true soft self.

jake was wishing he had someone he could be gross and cute with.

tril (who introduced the pair) was just glad chris was finally getting non-toxic pussy and y/n was getting the dick she deserved.

but of course the moment had to be ruined.

there's always a bitch ass bitch trying to kill the vibe.

or should i say, a bitch ass bum.

as soon as the couple saw who'd been standing there staring at them like monkeys in a zoo, they made eye contact and simultaneously busted out laughing.

"what do you want bruh?" chis asked, sighing in an attempt to control his giggling.

"you're fucking with her after we just broke up two weeks ago?" she nudged her head in y/n's direction, which only changed her mood from wildly entertained to mildy irritated.

"i'm not just 'fucking with' her." chris responded bluntly. "she's my girlfriend. my girl. friend." chris made sure to enunciate his words because he knew this girl was a little slow. "something you would have had to been for us to 'break up'. which we never did. because we never dated." he pulled y/n into his side and made sure she was good before he looked back at his old talking stage.

y/n was more than good. her pussy flooded when chris called her his girlfriend.

nigga we go together tell them hoes we go together

"but-"

this bitch still fucking here?

"but nothing hoe." y/n butt in, deciding to handle this situation herself. she stepped to the girl and looked her good in the eyes, to make sure she felt every word. "he just told you he has a girlfriend so get the fuck on and find something safe to do."

the girl cowered and walked away without another peep. leaving chris and y/n to embrace each other with passion and love and lust and all the other good feelings.

it was official. everyone knew they were together.

everyone knew that they were each others.

what more could a retired pimp ask for?

niyah speaks luh part two to feed yall for the week

taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @mattssluttygf @zniyadgaf

remember that if no one loves you, mommy loves you (and by mommy i mean me)

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo fanfic #Spotify

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letruyuread · 2 days

Text

Little thoughts about about Twisted Wonderland characters and you (yuu)

Riddle loves having the first slice of tarts, strawberry ones especially. So I think that, for holidays or even if you're just feeling down, he gives you the first slice of his strawberry tart. No explanation, please don't mention it- you'll fluster the poor boy. But it means a lot to him, and he secretly hopes you understand that.

Yes, Ace is a teasing prick, most of the time, anyways. But the second anyone brings up how he might possibly feel for you? Absolute tsundere. Denying it to the high heavens. Insults you a lot, too. "How could I ever like the perfect?! They're so- so-" Yeah, no one's falling for it. Give him time. He'll get comfortable with the idea soon enough, and then you have a whole other problem.

Deuce loves to talk to his mom about you. Rants about you- the incredible magic-less human that stole his heart (No, get out of here Ace-). You don't even care that he used to be a delinquent! How amazing is that? His mom is overjoyed that her son met someone who sounds so nice and keeps trying to give him advice to ask you out. She also tries to convince him to bring you home during break- you're not even dating yet.

Cater, of course, posts about you on his Magicam. It's the usual- oh, they're so pretty today, look my partner gave me food 😍. But there are also things he doesn't post, surprisingly. He doesn't post the picture he took of you, laughing against the sunset. That one's private. Too perfectly you to be seen by everyone. No, that's just a moment for the two of you, he thinks.

Trey loves baking you things, baking with you, but he always finds himself flustered when you bake something for him. He taught you the recipe, he remembers, a few weeks ago, and here you are standing with a small platter of cookies. Some are burnt, some taste a bit salty (you didn't add the oyster sauce... right?) and yet he eats them all and loves them because you made them. For him.

Leona, I think, takes very good care of his hair. It was worse before he came to Night Raven, his attendants tried to take care of it, but he always managed to hide away (he was taking a nap). On the first day, though, Vil couldn't stand such a pretty face with such horrid care and taught Leona a routine. Leona now follows that routine strictly. He takes pride in it, as much as his smarts and strength. You know he's having a bad day when it's unkempt and tangled. You also know how much he trusts you when he teaches you the routine, when he lets you help him with it on those bad days or weeks or maybe months.

Ruggie gives you things. It's always random- a bit of his food, a dandelion in the field, a ribbon floating in the wind. He grew up with little- so naturally, he hoards everything he can get his hands on and keeps it for himself. One day he might need it, or his grandma, or the kids in his neighborhood. He's very protective of his growing stash. So when he gives you these things, it's him telling you that you're part of his family now. Ask for anything, he'll find it. Just like he would for the people back home.

Jack adopts a lot of cacti (I nearly spelled cactuses) with you- very silly, right? A lot of cacti. He waters them appropriately, a strict schedule for each, and keeps them at Ramshackle dorm. You have a whole room for them, very bright from large windows and only tables for the plants to be placed on. It's common in his family that you only have one person, your whole life, to stick by. He's hoping it's you- he's hoping you'll fall for him if he keeps coming around, day by day, taking care of your plant children (plant army).

(oh God there's so many but Im on a roll)

Azul, Azul... Oh boy. He really wants you to make a contact with him. Doesn't matter what kind- you want it, you'll get it (even if you don't agree to his offer, honestly). He always seems to want the same thing, though: (no it's not marriage) a friend. That's what he says, that's not really what's in the contract, though. The exact wording is 'companion.' Someone to talk to, someone to trust. Someone who calls his merform pretty and him intelligent. Someone who doesn't make him feel insecure.

Floyd. What do to with you? He's very touchy. Very touchy. Once, he skipped all his classes and just grabbed onto you, having you carry him around on your back and not letting you go. Yes, he put a spell on himself to make him light as a feather, no one could carry that tall of an eel. He's very clingy and doesn't understand how he feels about you. It confuses him, he has no clue what this is, he just knows he wants to be around you and why shouldn't he be?

Jade knows. You have weekly tea parties. Don't worry, everything's free of charge... Except that, you have to pay for that. Oh, you didn't bring any money? Well, a kiss would do, but... Oh, no, that was a joke. Please don't look so worried. Jade may know what he feels for you, but he's still working out how to deal with it. The twins kind of never thought this would happen.

Kalim is such a sweetheart! Give him all the love in the world, he'll reciprocate tenfold! Whatever you want. He can buy it, if not, his family has the connections to get it, surely. But don't be mistaken- he'll adore you if you make something for him. If he can, he'll always have it on him. Plus, he tries to make stuff for you too! It might look bad, or taste weird, but he's beaming at you and the thought is there!

Please give Jamil a day off. No, really- drag him as far away from Kalim and any responsibility as possible. Do everything. Cook for him, cuddle him, tell him he's amazing and smart and very very cool and it is HIS DAY OFF. Take care of him, please? He needs this. He needs you. He'll do the same for you, if you ever overwork yourself or have a bad day. Trust him, and ask him to trust you.

(I haven't gotten beyond book 4, so I don't know enough about the other characters to feel confident writing them. Maybe Idia, Malleus or Lilia, as I really like them and have done some research on them, but for now this is what I got. Enjoy?)

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #riddle x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #ace x reader #deuce x reader #Trying to get everyone hold on #trey x reader #cater x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #jack howl x reader #azul x reader #floyd x reader #jade x reader #kalim x reader #jamil x reader #God there's so many #I think I did it

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beauty-and-passion · 23 hours

Text

Why you should listen to Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium

I didn't expect to truly write a post about this album.

Anons introduced me to its genesis, production and themes and they seemed interesting... but was there enough food for thought?

I had no idea. My expectations were positive, so I imagined I would listen to something good: I just didn't know if this album had enough for me to talk about and say something new - considering that the CCCC fans already did a great job analyzing every detail of the songs.

But when I listened to them (and read more theories/explanations), I noticed some interesting things. Things that stirred my brain and made me think. Things I wanted to talk about.

So here I am, writing a post about Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium Volume 1. I am not pretending to explain the lore or the songs in detail and I don't want to bother you with an extremely long post. All I want is to give you some material to decide if CCCC is worth a try.

And, if you've never heard about it before, I hope my words will spark your interest, because this album deserves more attention.

One last thing: please be aware I will talk about all sorts of themes, from love to suicide, because those are also the themes of the album.

_______________________________

A simple plot

I can hear you, fans who have listened to the whole album: simple story?! It's complicated! It's open to interpretations!

And yes, you're right. But if we consider the core foundation on which the songs are built... well, that's quite straightforward. With this album, Chonny Jash is telling us about his struggles and how they led to a psychological split inside him into Mind, Heart and Soul. Then these three parts start fighting, until they find a way to reunite again.

And yes, we can also add that this is a time loop and things are destined to repeat themselves, but the structure is still simple, clear and concise. As clear as the tripartition of the album into Calamity, Cacophony and Concord, three parts that correspond to the story's three main points: the split, the fight, the reunion.

And this simplicity isn't a bad thing, oh absolutely not. This is perfect.

There's a common misconception that a good story should be complicated. The plot should be complex and convoluted and the more complex and convoluted it is, the better the story will be. I made this conceptual mistake too and it took me years to realize how wrong it was: the better stories are not the most complicated ones, but the simpler ones.

Why?, you may ask. Isn't a simple story proof of amateur writing - or even worse, lack of creativity?

Actually, it's quite the opposite and there are four reasons why:

If a story has a simple, clear foundation, it will be easier to build on it: a simple foundation is stable and strong, it won't break down too easily. You can add layers and metaphors and hide your plot points behind different interpretations, but your public won't get lost, because the foundation would still be clear: there are three figures, they fight, they reunite. Everyone can understand it.

If everyone can understand your foundation, your story is universal. Everyone can approach and experience it, from an old person to a child, and everyone will find something inside: a message, a feeling, a piece of advice, anything.

If your story is universal and the foundation clear, your vision is also clear. And if your vision is clear, you know what you're doing. And if you know what you're doing, your story will be much more organized too: there won't be dull/useless parts, filler, or moments in which you're just dilly-dallying, waiting for the right idea to strike.

Since your story will be more organized, the flow will be better too and the events will make sense, the public will be more prone to welcome the suspension of disbelief and immerse themselves in the story. People aren't stupid, they can subconsciously feel when an artist is confident and the story is strong. And once they feel it, you win. The public is yours now, you can guide it into your world and show your vision as you intended. And people will let you do it, because they know they're in good hands.

This is what I experienced too, the more I progressed with my listening. There was a lot of care behind every word, the lyrics kept explaining and expanding the plot and everything showed the confidence of an author who knows what he is doing and how to do it.

And there's nothing better for a story, than a confident author.

_______________________________

Clear elements despite the ambiguity

Even if the foundation of CCCC is very simple, the story is enriched by a ton of ambiguities and things purposely left very vague. They may be better explained when/if Volume 2 comes out in the future, they may be left open to interpretation forever. It doesn't really matter: having a full understanding is good, but leaving everything behind a veil of mystery is a good choice as well. It depends on Mr. Jash's choice - and if my previous point wasn't clear enough, I trust this guy's choices.

However, despite the ambiguity, I also really appreciated how there are a lot of extremely clear elements in this story, starting from some events, to specific details of the main characters involved.

Some examples?

Heart tried to shoot/kill/destroy Mind

Heart's breakdown is due to something love-related

The whole series of events is stuck in a loop

Mr. Jash threatens suicide if the parts of himself don't reconcile

Mr. Jash frequently talks about how he keeps making covers of songs others made before him

And what about the details? For example, we know that every character has a specific set of elements associated with them:

an object: a blindfold (Heart), a crown (Mind), a trident (Soul)

a name: Artemis/the moon/Juno (Heart), Apollo/the sun (Mind), Atlas (Soul)

a color: black+purple (Heart), blue+white (Mind), gray+red (Soul)

And those are all elements we get from the songs and they get stuck with you, while you progress with your listening.

Again, this is a very clever choice: considering everything is open to interpretation, having some clear elements serves as "anchor points" in a sea of ambiguities. By doing that, the listeners won't get lost in a maelstrom of possibilities, but they will keep being guided down a clear path - the one traced by the main points of the album (breakdown, fight, reunion).

Also, having some fixed elements keeps everyone's attention too: some people might like to get lost in pure ambiguity, but most lose interest in a too-vague story. Even if the author had a clear plan, if everything is too obscure, people will inevitably think: "It's incomprehensible, so the author had no idea what they were doing" and ditch the story entirely.

Mr. Jash handled the ambiguity aspect very well, by balancing the obscurities with the clear elements. And this proved, once again, how clear, strong and detailed his vision is.

_______________________________

Favorite character?

Ooof, that's hard.

Each character has a specific personality and that alone proves how carefully Mr. Jash planned every element related to them.

Heart is sad, desperate, apathetic, prone to self-pity, sick and tired of everything. But he's also strong enough to try and oppose Mind out of fear of what he could do. He tried to attack someone as powerful as him and take him down, just to preserve the Soul and save their vessel.

And that proves he's not weak at all: he's a lot more powerful than he seems. And, as he said, he's not a child: he felt Mind could've been a threat, so he took the matter into his own hands and tried to find a solution.

And it makes sense his solution was so drastic, because it was dictated by feelings. Because the Heart is influenced by feelings. It's perfectly coherent with the kind of character he is.

Same goes for Mind: he's cold, harsh, a threatening figure because of his design/nature. He takes control of the situation, he appoints himself as the new leader, he wants to react, do something, move forward and ignore the element he sees as the weak link.

And he definitely doesn't hold a grudge towards Heart, nope nope: my bro spent a whole song saying "Look at Heart, he's an idiot". And then, if this isn't enough, he ended his song, by calling Heart "akaryocyte": which is a cell without a nucleus. Hence, a virus.

I'll admit it: this sick burn is the sickest burn that ever burned and probably the most clever insult I've ever read and that made Mind top #1 best character of the album - sorry Heart, but Mind is too sick. (Also, I am a cold logical person too, so I ended up thinking the guy wasn't so bad after all.)

Last but not least, we have Soul. And Soul is basically shut down all the time by these two motherfuckers arguing, to the point he looks more like a shadow, rather than a real character... until he decides that you know what, time to show how confident he actually is:

You must be so arrogant to think that either of you Can control The Soul so wholly When to be one whole you can't hold solely

One song was enough to show Soul's true colors. He's stronger than the other two, he's more in control than them and he's the only one able to draw a line and make an actual threat: if they do not find a way to reunite, he will kill them both.

A couple words and Soul's picture got flipped: he's not just a background voice anymore, he's the leading figure now. And if he is sick and tired, then these three are facing the real shit.

But just like the other two, Soul isn't just that and we see it in The Bidding.

Here happens something incredibly beautiful: once Heart and Mind find a way to harmonize, Soul immediately rejoices: with the impatience of a child, he asks them to do it again, "One more time, go again/No, this can't be the end". Soul, this powerful figure who threatened suicide one second ago, begs them to try again, to do it "for me", because they can finally harmonize, because "I don't know how much more I can take".

Once again, with a couple sentences, we learn how heavy this whole situation has been on Soul and how eager he is to try again, once the other two find a possible harmony.

This doesn't just show how deeply Soul has been affected by the whole situation, but also (on a higher level) how strong hope is.

Soul was ready to commit suicide: a few verses before he said this was the day "we'll tie the rope". But one small step in the right direction, despite being flawed and made out of spite and resentment, was all he needed to change his mind and drop the idea of suicide entirely.

That also proves how human Soul is. Because this is what humans feel too, especially when they play with the idea of suicide. Most of the time, this idea is the result of desperation and inability to find a way out of a situation that seems impossible to overcome. But once these people find even a teeny tiny fragment of hope, the will to live overcomes desperation and people latch to said hope, no matter how small it is. And, just like Soul did here, they try to have it again, to repeat it, to feel that spark again.

Because the will to live is always much, much stronger than the desperation that leads to suicide.

_______________________________

The choice of a time loop

These three characters are stuck in a time loop: things are destined to repeat themselves. And believe it or not, but this is extremely human too - and a clever choice as well.

From a psychological perspective, Mr. Jash can "break" again anytime. Life is full of stuff and events, so... who knows? Maybe in the future, he will face another heartbreak and his Whole will break down into three once more. Or maybe it won't be because of a heartbreak: maybe something else will happen and lead to a new split, a new fight and a new reconciliation. Maybe even the lack of confidence that starts to shine in Concord is proof of a future split.

But if we think about it, the time loop works from another perspective too: a meta one.

Every time you listen to the whole album, every time to replay the songs, you are relieving the split. Every time you listen to them, Whole splits into Heart, Mind and Soul. Every time you trace their history, they split, fight and reconcile.

In other words: every replay is a new loop, a loop in which these characters are stuck - not just because of their humanity, but because they're characters and this is their story. They cannot escape from it, because that's their entire world.

I don't know if Mr. Jash thought about that while making this album... but he gave me this thought and that's just another proof of what I said at the beginning of this post: if a story is very well made, everyone can find a message inside it. And I'm sure you will find something too.

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders @idontreallyknow24 @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake @hereissananxiousmess @purplebronzeandblue @cynicalandsarcastic @lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire

@riseofthewerewolf @rosesandlove44 @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan @arya-skywalker @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads @dracayd-universe @starlightnyx @stubbornness-and-spite @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

#chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #cccc #chonny mind #chonny heart #chonny soul #cj soul #cj mind #cj heart #cj whole

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moonbaby26 · 23 hours

Text

Title: Sweet Nothings

(Chapter 13 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)

*Crossposted to AO3 Here*

Chapter Pairings: Doflamingo x Reader, Doflamingo x Crocodile (referenced), Aokiji/Kuzan x Reader (referenced)

Chapter Warnings: language, toxic relationship, noncon, dubious consent, drugged reader, toxic masculinity, anal sex, oral sex (female receiving), sex toys, size difference

Chapter Synopsis: On the evening of your arrival in Dressrosa, you are forced to meet with that collection of your former enemies, otherwise known as Doflamingo’s trusted inner circle. As well as spend your very first night in the royal bed chambers of your new king.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

——————————

To try and explain this feeling to anyone who had never looked down the barrel of a gun, or across the edge of a sword as it swung for their throat would have been near impossible.

Because that sudden anticipation of danger was more than just adrenaline, more than only an elevated heart rate. It was like an energy through the muscles themselves. It was there in the way everything felt sharper as that door creaked open.

Trebol, Diamante, and Pica, the three remaining Donquixote family executives awaited you. Ruthless men who Tsuru would have had in sea prism chains at very first opportunity back then.

But who, through the comedy of government immunity were now present as if they’d ascended to the role of dignitaries in their own right. Sitting on their individual thrones with the club, diamond, and spade designs carved onto those respective seat backs behind them.

And they alone would have been more than enough for you.

But this read like a staff meeting from hell as you saw all the other eyes as well. More pirates standing slightly behind those chairs. The executives’ direct subordinates, the Donquixote officers, were in attendance as well.

Some whose faces and skill sets you remembered better than others. But no matter their age or gender, all equally untrustworthy in your mind. Because of their fanatical loyalty solely to the smiling man now stalking across that plush carpet right behind you.

You’d moved purposefully to stay ahead of Doflamingo, getting as close to one of the massive windows as you could.

A window you knew you could still break. An exit and the only thing in this room you would put your back to as you let your body lean into that windowsill. This took some of the pressure off your weaker leg in the meantime. But your feet were flexing within your shoes regardless.

You were still ready to move.

You saw Diamante’s blue eyes already lingering over your bandaged thigh. And you knew exactly what his thought process must be.

There’d be no easy escape for you today.

Your wings were clipped this time.

They all knew it.

You heard a heavy breathing as well that was becoming closer and closer to a laugh. From Trebol of course in that otherwise near silence as Doflamingo hesitated.

It was as if their king was taking it all in and observing that everyone who mattered to him was actually here before he finally spoke.

“I’ll keep this brief. I know we’re all busy.” He said.

You had your arms crossed from your place at the windowsill. A posture that would have let you block your torso and reach for your weapon all at once.

But when Doflamingo turned, now facing you instead of them, it was humiliating how quickly your full attention went back to him and him alone.

And he noticed of course. It was all over that smug expression on his handsome face as he approached you.

There was nothing you could do but stare in return, your surprise barely hidden as he’d then turned again to sit on that same windowsill beside you.

Hip to hip actually, intentionally tight together as you had to put even more weight onto your other leg not to be visibly pushed aside by him.

Another show of dominance was what it felt like as you were put right back into that tight aura of his cologne and body heat once more.

He was showing his claim on you in front of everyone.

“The captain will be staying with us. With me.” Doflamingo still emphasized even on top of that clear body language. Speaking while his fingers briefly tightened on the windowsill.

“We’ve all had our past grievances of course…but that past is gone. And as I’ve said before, a new era will be coming. We must adapt or fall behind. Pirate…marine, these meanings have always changed with the times. And it’s changing again here. At least for us. This is a taste of our future.”

And as he began to tell them these things, you felt his hand slide back over your thigh.

The additional touch was not unexpected, but the new words which accompanied it were. Because what did their future possibly have to do with you? You were only his bauble, his fixation.

You had expected to be paraded in front of his crew of course. You had expected petty revenge and gloating in reward for all those years of your crew pursuing his. But you were experiencing something else now as Doflamingo’s smile faded in tandem with his grip on your leg growing even harder.

“You are all my family. I should have included you more in this…” And his voice was changing a little too then. There was almost a moment of self-reflection there, the briefest hint of an actual apology. “I know it’s moving so quickly. But I had to make a decision and I had to make it fast when we ran into trouble in Scylla.”

We?

Only you had been hurt in Scylla. Not him. He hadn’t even been attacked. But the way he’d said it suggested otherwise.

“You shouldn’t have had to find out just from the newspapers. But my hand was forced. She needed to come home immediately. Momonga wouldn’t have had a clue how to protect her.”

And a sound came out of you at that, one of indignation surely. But the moment your body had moved to reflexively stand, Doflamingo had pushed you back down without even looking. His hand that had been on your thigh held you down across both of your legs then to the windowsill, strong as any chain.

Whether you were more insulted on Momonga’s behalf or your own was left unclear.

Because the highest pitched, most unnatural voice chirped up as Pica was the first of the Donquixote crew to respond to their leader’s words. “It’s okay, Doffy. We know you’ll always do what’s best for the family!”

Thankfully you had heard Pica’s voice before, so it wasn’t as fully jarring as it could have been. But he still interrupted your anger just for that moment as your brain had had to process the noise.

And once he had spoken, as if trying to comfort Doflamingo, it broke the thick tension in the room enough for more voices to begin joining in.

“So are you engaged after all, young master? May I paint the official announcement then!? I have so many ideas practically flowing from me already!”

Giolla. A nightmare of a woman.

You remembered waking up screaming with your fellow tent mates one night. Camping deeply inland on a mission, when all of the blankets were suddenly a disgusting yellow and green neon. That fabric wrapped around most of your throats before the tent collapsed. You’d all had to either cut your way out or succumb while she’d cackled in the distance.

“She doesn’t have a ring though!” A younger female voice interrupted there. It’d come from a teenage brunette who was still somewhat concealed behind Pica’s chair.

Baby 5. Not a harmless opponent either in how many times you’d had to backtrack to avoid receiving too much of her suppressive fire. It turned out even kids weren’t nearly as cute once they could transform one of their legs into a gatling gun to shatter walls around you.

But familiar or not, you’d never been on this side of it. You’d never seen Doflamingo’s responses to them without the pressures of being in the midst of battle.

There was a shocking amount of patience in the way his body actually started to relax. Even as they talked over one another, you saw his face turn to look at them. Giving attention to each officer individually, as if this circus was every day and then some for him.

“Thank you, Pica. I am trying to do what’s going to payoff best for us in both present and future.” He said to his executive first.

And then to Giolla. “I’m not calling it an engagement yet to the public. My priority was getting home first without interference. But it will be soon.”

Finally to Baby 5, “Well, you aren’t wrong. I’ll be needing to correct that, won’t I?”

His hand moved again suddenly at that, grabbing your left wrist to force you to uncross your arms.

You did pull back with some resistance. You were not his fucking posable doll after all. But he smirked at this, his grip increasing enough to immediately hurt while he still turned your hand as if to show them all your unadorned fingers.

“I was thinking diamond with ruby accents. You know how I like red.” He added.

“Sugar and I could help you pick something out, young master.” A young woman who looked to be nearest your own age spoke then. But her face you didn’t know. At least you didn’t remember ever fighting her. Nor did you recognize the small girl with the blue green hair standing beside her either. The little girl who was now giving you a rather cold stare.

“That would be fine, Monet.” Doflamingo answered the young woman, letting your hand slip away from him again then.

But he stood back away from the windowsill not long after. “We’ll have a bit of time to make all these plans. For now though, the press will be hanging around the island wanting the latest scoop I’m sure. And no one says anything to them without my permission, is that understood?”

“Yes, Doffy,” and “Yes, young master,” came from several of them simultaneously then. No question in them at all.

And he seemed reasonably satisfied in this.

Enough so that you hoped this meeting was nearly adjourned before he turned again, hands in his pockets now as he grinned directly at you. Those bright teeth exposed once more. But his eyes narrowing behind his red lenses all the same from the way his brow had shifted.

“And do you have anything to say to everyone, love? Or have I adopted another mute marine into our home?”

Your own eyebrows raised. The pet name being used in front of his crew not even registering to you while you considered his other odd wording instead.

Another marine?

But you were on autopilot in reaction to all of this regardless. In uniform, surrounded by old enemies. What else did he expect from you as you just answered so mechanically.

“I have nothing. I’m required to report in to either Tsuru or HQ once a day and it’s getting late.”

And you knew you did want them all to remember that you were still an active duty marine. A marine who had been based in HQ with all the direct contacts that entailed.

Even a vague threat was better than nothing.

Or at least you’d thought so before you saw that inexplicable look of disappointment darken Doflamingo’s features.

He was staring at you. Like he wanted to say something else, but quickly changed his mind. “I meant…no, screw it. Never mind.” And he took a hand back out of his pocket to motion to the others instead.

“Giolla and Baby 5, I need you to escort the captain to the palace physician. Get them to properly clean and rebind that wound of hers. And have some real pain killers prescribed. I’m tired of seeing her just limp around.”

He’d put his back to you now though as he’d stepped even further away.

It was like…you had insulted him? With goddamn what? Were you supposed to gush about all of this to his family? Were you meant to be excited like being here was some kind of reward for you?

“Show her to her room after you’re done with the doctor.” Doflamingo also instructed them. “I need to talk with the executives alone for some further updates on business since I’ve been gone. The rest of you are dismissed back to your normal posts.”

And he did not look at you again as Giolla approached you with no fear.

“Then come on, sailor girl.” She said rather haughtily actually. “You’ll get lost otherwise. This castle is far more building than you’re used to I’m sure.”

And you gave her an annoyed look. What did she think Marineford was? A bungalow?

Baby 5 just followed behind you both quietly though. And you didn’t really like the girl at your back either. But as you glanced behind to check, it bothered you even more how much Doflamingo still would not acknowledge your exit at all.

Such a sudden contrast with as much as he couldn’t go without physical contact with you mere moments ago.

Whatever.

And you were nearly limping by then, just as he’d said. As much as you tried to prevent it, following Giolla out of the room while Baby 5 shadowed behind you.

——————————

When all but his three executives had exited, and the door had been safely closed again, Doflamingo finally sighed.

He tilted his head back, looking to the ceiling briefly as if some answer may be written there for him before his smile returned reflexively.

He laughed abruptly in absence of any other outlet.

“Fuck…it has been a weird week.” He announced, putting his hands behind his head, and stretching his torso slightly as he breathed out, like letting more of that tension dissolve from his muscles before he relaxed again.

His head tilted down to look at the others once more as his hands moved back into his pockets.

“She acts so much like Tsuru, doesn’t she?” Diamante said to him with a smirk then, elbow resting against the diamond seat’s armrest as his fist propped up his cheek. “So guarded.”

“Feh. Well, I blame you two. Could you have eye fucked her any harder than that, Diamante?” Doflamingo complained in immediate response, but still relaxed enough to show that this was more familial annoyance than actual anger. “Pica was the only goddamn gentleman here.”

Trebol snorted, mucus hanging from his face as always. “But I didn’t do anything, Doffy!”

“You were breathing like you were about to suck her face, Trebol. Pay the fucking pool girls more, go get laid. Goddamn.” Doflamingo grumbled to that.

“I was just observing her wounds,” Diamante replied calmly, but smiling back at his master none the less.

They’d all known each other long enough to understand where the real lines were. And this wasn’t yet it.

“Yeah, trying to see the slit under her skirt you mean, not the one on her thigh.” Doflamingo’s lip curled in a bit of further annoyance regardless.

“Well, Doffy, was is it as good as you thought it’d be?” Trebol asked abruptly.

Which brought an immediate noise of disgust from Pica.

“Oh shut up.” Trebol fussed to Pica’s obvious judgement. “Doffy chased this one for years! Why wouldn’t we ask!?”

“I thought we were going to talk about business.” Pica squeaked.

“If it was Sir Crocodile, Pica would be far more interested.” Diamante teased. “Just because it pees sitting down, you don’t want it. But the rest of us are far more equal opportunity.”

Doflamingo groaned. “We don’t pick on Pica for that.”

“Thank you, Doffy.” Pica huffed.

“But yes, it was goddamn good.” Doflamingo still answered Trebol regardless. “And oh, she wanted it. Scylla was a nonstop fuckfest until that little Nefertari cunt got in the way.”

Pica looked to the side, unimpressed, but Trebol flailed in his own chair a bit. “Behehe! I knew it!”

And of course it was difficult to say how much of this filthy talk was genuine, and how much was just the masculine posturing Doflamingo had learned that they expected from him.

But it was all part of the game, bravado and such. This boys’ club, only made even more extreme in their unique lack of morals and shared need to compensate for so many shortcomings to start with.

“Though you mention the reptile…” Doflamingo did feel that tension in his stomach beginning again in reference to that prick. “He’s a lot of the reason I had to take her and run. I wasn’t planning on bringing her here so soon. But plans changed.”

And all three of the executives were now looking at him seriously.

“It was Crocodile’s agents that attacked at that ball. I even talked to the fucker on a snail. He was so shitty to me as always.”

“The audacity!” Diamante spat, genuinely looking angry then as he straightened up in his chair so quickly.

“We should just go to Alabasta and kill him, Doffy! Let’s do it for real this time!” Trebol’s voice also immediately sharpened, snot spilling out over each armrest of the club seat in his agitation.

Only Pica seemed contemplative, before responding far more calmly by comparison. “I’m so sorry, Doffy. He doesn’t see your worth. But he never has.” And it wasn’t patronizing at all. Somehow it never was from Pica.

The room was quiet after that as well. Doflamingo’s hands clenching within his pockets as he bit his bottom lip slightly. Just before another smile spread across his face to erase that fleeting emotion. “It’s fine.” He said. “I told gator boy that he’d already been replaced. But I’m not sure if he’s done. I don’t think that he is. I feel like he’s going to make some kind of move on her just to spite me. Perhaps it’s paranoia on my part…but I’m not sure.”

“She’ll be safe here, Doffy.” Pica assured.

And Doflamingo did take another deep breath. That was something else he needed to get off of his chest as well. “Yeah, about that...” He paused again, but only briefly before he just forced the words out. There was no reason to play around. Not with them. “I’m reinstating the rule of blood effective immediately. That marine is now under its protection. I want you to tell your subordinates. But she’s not to know.”

And to watch the initial surprise wash across his executives’ faces, followed by the gradual dawn of what it could actually mean for you was strange to witness even for the warlord.

But he did not back down in response to their shock. Though Diamante was the first to ask the question aloud. Something Doflamingo never would have thought would one day be discussed here within the Hall of Suits.

“Young master…are you implying that that girl is…with child?”

Only Donquixote blood had ever met this standard within his group. To be protected and guarded, punished under penalty of death to those that would dare spill even a drop of it.

“She will be.” Doflamingo answered so firmly, no hesitation that time. “Because this is what I want. And the heart seat has sat empty long enough.”

He was staring at that empty chair now as he tried to keep the resulting stress from his voice. The pain which came every time he considered who that chair really should have been meant for.

“Can’t you imagine it, gentlemen? We haven’t had a proper new recruit in so long. They always disappoint us in the end…or betray. Because of that innate weakness within them. But how could anyone that came from my own body ever fail to that degree? Someone that I’ll be able to shape straight from its mother’s womb this time. Don’t you want to find out?”

“A royal heir.” Pica said in sudden awe.

“A new demon to be your right hand in this world.” Trebol added, cruel eyes looking over the top of his own sunglasses then.

“All that and more.” Doflamingo sneered. “A new generation of Donquixote blood. My blood.”

—————————

The doctor hadn’t been terrible. You could tell he was obviously a civilian. The Donquixote family didn’t actually have a physician within their crew. Which, yes, what self respecting doctor could have tolerated them and their violence for long after taking any oath to heal?

But this whole thing with going back to the room after your leg had been fully redressed was its own new weirdness.

You’d reasonably assumed that you’d get no privacy of your own in this place. So the fact that they were saying that this was your room was wholly contradictory to all the possessive claims Doflamingo had made from the very beginning. All that talk of having you beside him in his bed alone at first opportunity and all.

And walking around in your so called room with Giolla and Baby 5 now, it was hard to imagine even the king’s chambers being much bigger than this. The layout was beautiful and spotless, clearly recently cleaned. Large windows had their heavy red curtains pulled open for so much natural light as you’d walked to one of them.

Giolla was still rattling on about all the color changes she’d make if allowed, calling the room a blank canvas in an almost angry way. But the real view in the distance had soon caught your eye as you’d stared out of the window, fully ignoring her.

“That’s Flower Hill.” Came the other voice then.

You gave Baby 5 a sharp look as you didn’t like being snuck up on that way. But she wasn’t even looking at you, her entire focus was beyond the palace as well.

“I wish my bedroom faced it.” She sighed, but then smiled. “You should ask the young master to take you there if you like flowers. I bet he would. He doesn’t get out much. He’s always working. It’d be good for him.”

“You don’t have to pretend, Baby 5. And you don’t have to talk to me just because he told you to.” You replied simply. Not cold, just honest before you turned back away from that window to keep exploring.

You could understand why he’d sent Giolla. Maybe not trusting you alone with his male crew just yet. And that woman was still capable enough with her devil fruit to give you a hard time if you’d tried anything.

But with Baby 5, Doflamingo already knew your weakness for kids. Though she appeared to be a teen now.

That really young looking girl with the blue green hair probably would have made more sense to use if he was going to scheme that way. But that girl had almost been staring daggers through you during the entire meeting, so perhaps not.

“Huh?” You heard Baby 5 ask anyway though, still following you as you’d walked to what at first you’d thought was a door to the bathroom. Just to find it was actually a whole walk in closet. Actually you could have probably jogged a small lap in it.

“Goddamn.” You cursed, seeing the dresses already hanging in there.

“Whattttt!?” Baby 5 gasped, immediately running in as she realized it was fully stocked as well. She looked from the dresses to the shoes, to the jewelry. She was almost trembling as she touched some of the fabric in surprise. “This wasn’t even here yesterday! Giolla! Giolla, look!” She whined.

“Oh, calm down. They were delivered this morning.” Giolla scoffed, still eyeballing the blank walls.

Baby 5 seemed to have forgotten about you entirely then. She was now sorting through the necklaces, eyes looking rather wet as she held up one after another.

You sighed, again remembering exactly where you were. Pirates and their damn treasure…and this all bought with blood money you were sure. Nothing you wanted to be a part of. “Take as much as you want if your boss doesn’t care. I don’t wear that stuff anyway.” You told the girl.

Her head whipped around immediately. “I…can I? Can I!?”

She was excited enough that you backed up slightly, almost concerned that she might hug you. You barely knew one another. “If Doflamingo doesn’t care…” You reaffirmed. Even with her only being a pirate, you wouldn’t intentionally get a teenager in trouble with him.

“If I don’t care about what?” Came that unmistakable voice from the still open doorway though.

And all three of you looked immediately in his direction. Which again, it should have been humiliating how quickly you stilled just with the return of his presence. You did feel his eyes on you now.

But Baby 5 had already dashed past you, her hands full of several necklaces as she bowed at the waist to him. “Young master! The marine said I could have these! May I!? Please!? She said I could!”

Giolla rolled her eyes behind her pointed cat eye glasses. “Quit bothering him! You’re so whiny sometimes, girl.”

But Doflamingo only smiled, hands in his pockets as he strolled right past Baby 5. “I guess if this marine said you could…”

“Thank you, young master!” And Baby 5 was back out that door with the jewelry in a flash. As if she didn’t want anyone to have a chance to change their mind.

“Young master…” Giolla sighed. “She’ll just pawn them or someone else will steal them from her.”

“I know.” Yet he had walked over to you even as he answered her. “But it made her happy for a moment didn’t it?”

And you were staring at him, uncertain if that exchange was all in show for you or not.

“Thanks for babysitting, Giolla. I can take it from here.” He was grinning in response to your stare. “I’m done working for tonight.”

“Very well. But I still think this wall would be far better served with a mural. Cubism with fiery reds, pinks, and hmm…blues? Like a volcano meeting the summer sky!”

“Good night, Giolla.” Doflamingo said rather gently.

“Good night, young master!” She responded, yet still somewhat distracted as she had walked out still mumbling something about compatible color palettes.

When the door had shut again, you found yourself alone with the warlord once more as you’d looked up into those shining sunglasses.

“She was babysitting me, huh?” You asked him, though still considering his posture carefully. Was he back in a better mood now?

“Somebody has to,” He smirked, and then he did reach up, moving his sunglasses back up into his hair in order to really look at you.

You blinked, still not used to that reveal each time. Especially not when you got to watch those expressive eyes actually relax at you.

“You were being a bitch earlier you know.” He said calmly. “Why wouldn’t you talk to my family?”

So you’d been right. He’d given you the cold shoulder at the end of that meeting all because he’d thought you didn’t handle that forced socialization like he wanted you to?

“Yeah, let me just sit you down with Garp or Akainu some day and see how that goes.” You only half joked, easily admitting that that wasn’t a scenario that’d likely go very well for you either. Not with the admiral at least. “Akainu hates me too though. And he’s the only one that answered the damn phone earlier. Lucky me.”

And you saw Doflamingo’s expression change. Like he was trying to digest one thing at a time. “You called Akainu?” His thin eyebrows raised.

“No. I called Tsuru, but it never would connect. They must be out of range again. So then I called HQ and they said Sengoku and Garp were out of the office. So I asked for an admiral. And lo and behold, only one wasn’t already on the phone.”

“And why does he hate you?” Doflamingo asked next.

There was something sadly funny in it too. You knew you shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Not to a pirate. But somehow you just didn’t care in this moment either.

“I think he knows how stupid I really am.” Was what you finally said. Rarely were you this self deprecating out loud. But it was obviously true this time.

It must be, because Doflamingo was standing so close to you again. And you didn’t stop yourself.

You were the one that reached for him first. Worn down and so isolated here among old enemies. The need for his warmth was abruptly overwhelming to you.

And with the way Doflamingo tensed, you’d surprised him as well as your arms went around his bare waist, under his open shirt and that pink feather coat as you laid the side of your face against his torso. Skin to skin.

He silenced, still looking down at you as you actually hugged him. You hugged the goddamn warlord who had brought you here like only a conquered object on parade.

But within seconds a large hand was on your back, keeping you close as he stroked you from your shoulder blades down to just above the top of your skirt.

“So this is how it’s going to be, hmm?” He murmured and you felt the muscles in his abdomen relaxing again. “You’re going to be a bitch marine in front of my crew, but then come cuddling up to me when you’re tired and we’re finally alone?”

“I don’t know.” You said honestly. There was no precedent for this. “You still feel good.”

“So do you.” He did agree. But then you felt yourself being lifted easily again. “But this is your room. Come on, woman.”

“What?” You asked, confused as he carried you right past your bed.

Those pain killers the doctor had prescribed were on the nightstand in a bottle there as he saw and pocketed them however.

You just watched as he walked over to a stone book shelf in the corner next. Holding you up with one arm, his other hand pulled his strings to make that shelf move open on a hidden hinge.

Your eyes widened as you felt the air movement that emerged. You heard him chuckle as your grip had tightened on him and he slipped into that narrow passage with you. Him being careful actually to not let you scrape the wall before he’d continued out into the darkness and with another sound of moving stone, new light poured through.

Dimmer, and with more hues of red however as the sun was now setting through the windows of this new room. Yes, you’d thought your room had been large. And you’d been entirely wrong. As this was practically a residence in its own right, now sprawled before you as you tried to take in the true size of it.

“This castle predates Mariejois.” He said carefully. “And these connecting spaces were the original royal chambers before Riku’s bloodline tried to change everything. They thought this was too ostentatious, too big for any one family. They used these as storage and public meeting areas instead and moved their own bed chambers to lower floors. But when I took over…I put it back to how it should be. This was the original king’s chambers. Connecting to the other rooms of his spouse and children through those passage ways. So that they could all come and go while never having to fully interact with the lesser court and staff in the rest of the castle.”

You couldn’t imagine anyone ever being this rich. Even with it laid out here right in front of you. With a main locked door that still shut this off from the more public palace corridor. Just in what you could see right now, there was an open living area, a large sitting room with paintings and statues, and a separate hallway that must lead to the actual king bed chamber and bath.

“You live here…alone?” You asked with your arms still loosely around his neck as he held you in his arms.

“I did.” He answered.

And there was a new nervousness in you in the way you felt him carrying you down that hallway to his bedroom. Right past a fully stocked bar of wine, rum, beer, vodka, and gods knew what else.

He’d brought you over a threshold once before on his ship. But this was even more personal, even more private as that massive bed came into view.

With all of this before you…for the very first time you did really believe that this was what it meant to be in the intimate company of the King of Dressrosa. And you did not know how to feel about that.

“Doffy…” You tried. You knew he had talked about wanting this. But if he got too absorbed in his fantasies again, he could lose self control like before. He would really hurt you again.

“Take the pain killer.” He insisted, and then he was sitting on that dark bed with you in his lap as he pulled the bottle back out of his coat pocket. “Or am I going to have to force feed you this?”

“Why are you so adamant?” You asked, with your voice beginning to sound even more worried.

“Because I don’t feel like getting my ribs broken when you arbitrarily decide the lovemaking hurts too much.”

And you took a breath. Part of you immediately angry that he would even insinuate that you had somehow overreacted when punching him that hard the last time he’d hurt you during sex.

And yet, another part of your brain was also hitching on the sudden shift in semantics which led him to call that activity lovemaking for the very first time.

The two feelings somewhat cancelled each other out honestly as you just looked at him without finding something to really say in response.

“And there you go not talking again. Don’t do that shit. It’s annoying.” He huffed, opening the pill bottle now.

“I’m not taking those dry.” You finally said then.

And he did smirk there. “Oh you weak thing. You want it to be wet to wash these down…you want it to be wet when I put it in you. Can’t you ever just take things as they are?”

“Can’t you ever be gentle?” You retorted right back at him there at least.

He grinned, but sliding you out of his lap as he stood from the bed. Leaving you alone on its edge as he walked to the nearest snail on an end table.

“Feh. You’d get bored of that real fast. But in the name of variety…yes. I sometimes can.” And he clicked that snail, still with the pill bottle in his other hand.

“Yes, your highness?” A hurried voice immediately came from the other end.

“Bring up dinner to my chambers. With plates, utensils, and water for two.”

“Yes, right away, sir. And would you like dessert for two as well?”

He hesitated. “What is the dessert tonight?”

“Flores de hojaldre, sir.” They quickly replied.

He glanced at you, and the look you gave was entirely unhelpful as you had no idea what that even was.

But his resulting smile told you that he obviously did. “Yeah, that for two as well.”

“Your order is placed with the chef, sir. We will have it up momentarily.”

And they weren’t kidding. You’d basically only had time to take off your boots and coat. Which he put away for you somewhere.

Then before you knew it he’d unlocked the door out in the living area and servants had rolled a cart in and up to a dining table in yet another section out there. They served the food and set everything before discreetly disappearing just as quickly as they’d come.

The table was the expected rectangular shape. It looked about as old as the castle itself, heavy and wooden as you approached, noting his obvious seat at the head of it. But your place had been set just on his left.

On his blind side. Yet, he seemed comfortable with that as you’d joined him. He had put his sunglasses back on in the lantern light. But then raised them into his hair again once the servants had left.

And finally you did take just two of those pain pills with a goblet of ice water as you watched that lantern light moving on his cheek bones.

“Happy now?” You asked him.

“Very,” he smiled. But he was already eating. This time the entree was a roasted pork dish with a pepper sauce.

And you were eating too, but slower than him as you were still taking in all the details. They’d already uncovered the dessert tray before leaving. And you hated to admit, but it was that old cliche of almost looking too good to eat.

They were little pastries that looked like roses. But even prettier than the real thing actually. Flowers made from the pastry sheet being layered over and over like petals and dusted with powdered sugar and a drizzle of honey.

“You like flowers?” Doflamingo asked after he’d taken another deep drink of the water himself, noticing you still examining one of those desserts.

At least he’d be sober tonight you thought. No open alcohol to be seen yet.

“I guess?” You answered.

“What do you mean you guess?” He mocked rather quickly though.

You shrugged. “Flowers aren’t really something we get to have at sea. There’s nowhere to plant them.”

“You’re far too sheltered.” He scoffed anyway. “I think I’ll need to complain to Tsuru.”

And you rolled your eyes, taking another drink too.

But it did all feel strangely casual. Enough that you were able to ask something else.

“So are you really going to waste money on some fancy ring? You know I can’t wear that when I fight. It’ll catch on everything and get in my way.”

And his attention did refocus there as he turned his head to see you fully. His eyes were more cautious again. “I didn’t say you had to wear it every day. An engagement ring is for show. But you are getting a wedding band. I don’t care if you break someone’s nose with it. They’re going to know you aren’t available any longer as you crush them.”

“And will the king be wearing one as well?” You asked a little more bratty there, not fully on board with being tagged this way yourself honestly.

“Of course.” He smiled almost darkly however. “But I’m not saying that would solve all of our problems. A piece of metal is nothing to most. You’ll still need to protect your territory.”

“My what?”

And he gave you a skeptical look. But then acted like you were just that simple and needed this more clearly laid out for you. “You don’t want anyone else fucking me, correct? So you have to claim me.”

Well you had been enjoying your food. Did things have to go here? Did he need his ego stroked again this soon?

“I don’t want a STD secondhand from a pool girl, no. If that’s what you’re asking. Do you at least make them get tested regularly?” The better brothels usually did, as well as providing effective contraceptive at all times of course.

Only the shitholes like where you’d grown up in didn’t. Which is how you’d been born at all. You and so many other of those brothel kids that you’d helped take care of right up until the time you finally escaped with Tsuru.

And Doflamingo did scowl then. He wanted to be flattered, to feel that you wanted him all to yourself you were sure. He did not want to be suddenly lectured on best healthcare practices with his pool whores.

“I told you I always use protection with everyone else.” He muttered.

“They don’t suck it with a condom over you I’m sure. And condoms can break.” Especially as well endowed and rough as he always was actually.

He was clearly getting irritated though. “So what are you supposing we do? Are you going to stay here with your legs open for me day and night so that I don’t need backup options? I thought you wanted to keep sailing.”

And finally you did look a little more hurt yourself there. Though you shouldn’t have. It was a ridiculous and gross conversation to even be having when you already knew the answer. “Just being available isn’t enough to make a man love me or be faithful. You’re going to fuck who you want to and there’s nothing I can do about it. So don’t even pretend otherwise.”

And you’d heard the resulting growl just before he’d moved. Even with his usual temper, it didn’t make sense to you that this particular truth would goad him like this.

A long arm had shot across that corner of the table to catch you by the jaw. “You stupid woman.” He forced you to look up at him further in your surprise.

“I don’t want fodder any longer. But if you think love is something just freely given and not fought and killed for, then that’s exactly why you’ve never had it!”

And it wasn’t his grip alone that had your heart feeling so suddenly off pace with that outburst. It was the strange look in his eyes. And it was whatever was abruptly in your own voice as you’d retorted just as fiercely before you could stop yourself.

He’d hit that nerve in you.

“What are you talking about!? I did fight for it! Every time I could and they still didn’t care!” You heard those words from your own mouth. But it felt like someone else was saying them for you.

And his eyes narrowed. His hand did not let go of your jaw. “Then who? Who did you waste that energy on?” You saw the way even his left eye seemed to be focusing on you from beyond the scar tissue now. It put a chill through you as he asked something so much worse as you froze. “Who did you ever love?”

There was no possible response that would’t make this immediately worse for you. He’d know if you lied. He’d know if you told the truth.

Why in hell was he doing this?

“Answer me!” He hissed.

And he was going to fucking dislocate your jaw if he squeezed much harder.

You had no choice as that twisting sensation went through your chest. You didn’t think, you didn’t plan. That name came straight from those old feelings alone as you let it go.

“Kuzan….it was just Kuzan.”

It didn’t matter how brief your time with that fellow marine had really been. Because you’d chased the same feeling in every man after him hadn’t you? That safety and level of affection that had never been repeated.

And you saw the immediate change in Doflamingo’s eyes at that revelation. Like a mirror to your own when he now saw something he couldn’t take back. Something he could never undo in you, no matter how hard you knew he was going to try.

“Just because he fucked you first!?” Came the initial petulant response. “I told you I would have! I wanted you before he even knew who you were!”

And it was beginning to hurt inside of you again. More pain than even his vice like grip as the desperation grew.

“It wasn’t about timing!” You cried back at him. “He didn’t want anything from me! I chose him, I went after him! I let him be the first because I already had those feelings…”

And Doflamingo’s chest heaved. You saw his lips draw tight, pulling away from his teeth. And for all that was holy, you could swear you heard that man’s voice start to break. “You were too fucking young to know the difference! You don’t know what love is! I know that you don’t!”

He was fully yelling at you then. His arm that still held your face was trembling.

Tears were starting in your eyes. And then he said it, like a gunshot.

“Because I love you! Only me! Do you understand!? Why the fuck do you think I would put myself through all of this!? I could have any bitch! Any man! Because you’re all goddamn trash! But I get to choose who I want! I get to choose who to take and who to spare to be at my side!”

And he’d shoved you in full disgust then, your head hitting the seat back of your chair as he’d let you go.

You saw the way the muscles in his face moved. A terrifying combination of rage and grief as you shuddered in return, waiting for him to come out of his seat after you.

But he didn’t. He was breathing too hard, his bare chest still rising and falling as he stared at you unblinking.

And you were left shaking in response. This new habit that only he seemed capable of bringing out in you. Your body had no idea how to otherwise dispel these intense emotions.

And he exhaled loudly. His fist was clenched against the table top. “I want you to be my wife. That’s why you’re here! I don’t care about your past. Just do what I’m telling you to do. It’s as simple as signing a goddamn piece of paper. Do it before anyone else fucks this up for us. Then when you’re ready, we can go back to Scylla. Together. We’ll have the kind of ceremony that we deserve.”

He was bargaining so suddenly there. From full rage back to bargaining. There was a true desperation in it all as his anger visibly weakened. The mounting stress was eating that power back away from him.

“Say yes goddamn it.” He growled anyway when you still didn’t respond quickly enough.

But you couldn’t find any words. Your throat felt too tight as you finally just nodded at him. Tears were stained all down your face by now.

And the blood vessels in his forehead were pulsing as you heard his teeth grit when the top and bottom briefly slid against one another.

You knew that neither of you were going to eat anymore tonight as he did stand then and pushed his chair back.

His grip was on your arm shortly after as he pulled you out of your own chair.

You didn’t resist, but you didn’t look at him either as he picked you up in his arms again.

And he said nothing this time as he carried you back to that royal bed chamber.

No words at all as he’d let you down on the bed shortly after, and then started taking off his clothes. The sunglasses he set down on another small table nearby. His coat he’d already hung up before eating. Now just leaving his shoes, shirt, and pants as he took those off one by one before casting them to the floor.

He was fully nude as he then kneeled onto the bed and starting undressing you as well.

And you just let him. Your own mind still so confused, so overwhelmed as you felt his glare across you.

It was all done in terrible silence as your shirt was unbuttoned, and he reached behind your back to unhook your bra with one hand. He slid them both off of you, tossed into that same pile with his own clothes before your skirt and then underwear joined them.

He did pause there, like observing your naked body in full regardless. Before taking another stressed breath and backing back off of the bed to return his feet to the floor.

You could see his erection already starting to rise before he grabbed you by the ankles and dragged you until your slit was exposed to him at the very edge of the mattress.

He was on his knees again then, in some sick way resembling someone about to pray before he spread your legs just enough to bend down and put his face abruptly between them.

Nothing with him should have surprised you by now.

But your thighs immediately tried to close at the sensation, and you felt the small metal hoops of Doflamingo’s earrings rubbing against that skin as his tongue pushed out as hard as possible against your entrance.

That pink muscle so long and so very wet as it probed just inside of you, before he undulated it roughly across the outside again. Along the entire length of your slit, all the way from your rectum to up against your clit. He gave attention to it all without ever uttering another word. Deep, long licks as your breathing deepened and your thighs still tensed around him.

And with your legs over his shoulders, he even began kissing you there as well. You felt his lips, softer than they had any right to be while they moved over your clit. His nose pressing you, but his body language still frustrated even as he began to suck that bundle of your nerves so carefully

Never had he been as purposeful and slow as this. Just moving from one part to another. Not even trying specifically to make you cum as he so easily could have if he’d forced the stimulation any faster already.

He alternated attention to your thighs as well. Kissing and licking them too as you still kept them relatively close around his head.

His large hands were still holding your legs apart though, stroking them as well. And surely able to feel whenever they finally started to have that involuntary tremor. He even paused when you did. Letting you ride those little orgasms to their completion instead of over stimulating you to interrupt them.

But even then you were mostly quiet. Little sighs and mewls all that he could force out of you as your mind still churned. Why was he doing this?

He wanted something. You just didn’t know what.

And as time did pass, you realized that even though you were still awake, things started to feel more dulled. You knew what he was doing with his mouth, and you knew how good it felt. But it still seemed so distant after a while.

Further confusing to you as he did eventually stand so much later and you finally heard him say something again. His voice sounded far more even now. “How do you feel? You’re so wet…and I can’t wait much longer. But we’ll still start off with something smaller. Only for you…this is for you.”

And you didn’t understand at all what he was doing as he left you briefly to dig in the drawer of one of his end tables. Though you did at last make the realization of why everything seemed so muted and numbed.

It was the pain killers. They were whatever strength Doflamingo had wanted to be given to you weren’t they? And he’d been so pushy about you taking them. This was the result. This is what he’d been stalling for, wasn’t it? He’d wanted to make sure they had time to work.

To leave you sluggish and unable to fully feel as he repositioned you now. He’d moved you up the bed. You still lying on your back, and him now opening your legs again as you realized he had something in his hand.

“It’s just a toy. Relax.” He said. Almost softly really as you watched that lube slicked dildo get lowered towards your wet core.

But he passed it. He went lower as you felt that tip press your exit instead.

Of course he immediately saw that look of fear on your face.

And he was trying so hard to hold back a smile. “Finally making more sense now? Why do you think I haven’t done this to you before? You’re just small, lover…compared to me at least. I knew I’d need enough time…enough toys to begin this process. Even some extra meds to keep you from beating me black and blue when it really starts. Isn’t that right?”

And you still gasped as he slid that toy gradually inside of you. Your rectum stretching slowly in a sensation you’d never experienced before.

And he was so very hard between his own legs as he watched your every change in expression while that dildo forged further and further upward.

“Doffy…” You found you could still speak then, and he heard that bit of panic already in your tone as his other hand reached out to stroke your hair.

“No, it’s pointless to do that.” He was chiding your anxiety. “It always seems like it won’t fit until it does. I’ll fill you so well, woman…”

He really had waited then. He’d planned this. And should you have ever been surprised? Of course he would see every part of your body as belonging to him.

But could you even tell him?

You had to. Even with the amount of prep he seemed to already be taking, you were still so afraid. And with good reason.

“But I…” You tried again, your thigh actually quivering a little again as he started to thrust that dildo gently in test.

It did feel similar, but not. It was still so different than anything that you’d had done to you before.

He just thought you were intimidated by his size. And of course you were. He’d already torn you in the front more than once through his own carelessness.

But this was more than that though. Even as you made another gasping sound as he began pumping that dildo in and out your hole even harder.

It was still so uncomfortable. But you were determined to speak as you finally got those words out. “I’ve…never done this.” You breathed, feeling the mess of that lube already slipping back out of you with the wet sound the toy was now making.

But of course that sound paused as soon as he actually processed your words and his hand stopped moving the toy.

And you saw that bit of disbelief enter Doflamingo’s eyes. But soon enough, so embarrassingly soon enough, also the excitement which replaced it.

“You’ve never let anyone…no. Oh. Oh, fuck, woman.” And his grin was back. Ear to ear in fact as you watched the full realization spread through his twisted mind. And yet he still looked to you as if he had to assure himself more than once that this was possibly real. “You’re telling the truth…aren’t you? Oh, goddamn.”

This was evidently amazing news for him once he did finally accept it.

“So Kuzan beat me to the front…and yet no one has ever claimed the back?” He reiterated. “How careless…cruel even. Lover, it’s the whole body or nothing. Why would anyone only want part of you?”

You just hadn’t been ready for that back then of course. And it never came back up. Neither Kuzan or Smoker had had any interest in pushing you out of your comfort zone. They took whatever you were willing to give and that was the end of it.

While Doflamingo took everything that you had. Not just what you would give him.

And he’d clearly been eager before, but now this was his absolute mission. He was ecstatic. “Alright. Time for the next size up then…” He somewhat purred, discarding the used toy before briefly leaving the bed to grab and lube another one.

Again you did feel that anxiety of course, seeing the new dildo’s even larger girth as he returned and lowered it to your hole just like the previous one.

“No, don’t tense. You were doing so good before. Let it in.” He instructed, even as he started to push the toy past the muscles of that lower entrance regardless.

And you did make a sound of fresh discomfort, eliciting a chuckle from him. “Well you’re doing it to yourself. Fucking relax. Save all that squeezing for me, woman.”

“I…can’t.” You gasped as soon as he began thrusting this toy as well. The hole stretching around it even further, and that ever increasing inward pressure feeling so wholly bizarre.

“You can.” He said so decisively though, but his thumb found your clit for that additional assurance as he began rubbing it in tandem with the thrusts of the toy.

And the quiet moan that escaped you then only had him looking that more self-assured. “You see? It’s all connected. Your body knows what it wants. You want to be filled to the brim in every way, don’t you? And nobody does it better than me.”

His arrogance was endless. And yet, even as helpless as you felt beneath him, you knew it could be so much worse. But the more he talked, the more you feared it soon would be.

His restraint was fading as his anticipation grew.

This was evident in the way his tongue was curling upward as it slid from his mouth then. That darker glint forming in his eyes as he watched you further stretching around the toy.

He watched as he began to fuck you harder and harder with it.

He was going to take you soon regardless. But if he fully lost his composure, you knew he would drop all this pretense in an instant. He would savage you whenever his lust overcame him.

For this reason, you tried to suppress more of those moans that did actually want to come from you. Especially as he still worked your swollen clit alongside all that foreign pressure.

But he saw the arousal in your face. He knew.

“I think you’re as ready as you’re going to be…aren’t you, my queen?” And his voice was so low then. He let go of your clit to begin stroking himself now. He was smiling, tongue almost nervous in the way he licked his own lips.

And the fear was still rising within you. Even with the drugs numbing effect as you felt the briefest relief from that toy being removed. Your stupid body thinking it had survived. As if there would be any real time to recover as he had the lube bottle already in his hand again.

He anointed that clear liquid over his flushed cock, from tip to base. He’d been hard for so long by now. His massive erection that was still so much larger than any toy he’d had, now throbbing only for you.

“Remember what I confessed to you, my queen.” And he was starting to growl as he angled himself against your little hole. “This is my love for you…this is what love is.”

And strings had jerked your hands up above your head just before that penetration. They were was so tight against your skin, your wrists stinging as even more followed. The glimmering wires around your legs as well to hold them permanently open.

He would take no chances of you fighting back this time. Even with the foreplay, even with the painkillers, and even with the toys to help prime you…he must still know how very much this was going to hurt you.

But his needs would always stand above your own.

So he did it. He did it even as his hand covered your mouth and your resulting scream from penetration became muffled against his skin as he forced himself all the way inside.

Your hips were flush together this time. Farther than your cunt could have ever taken him. No cervix in his way, nothing in his way at all as his own immediate moan bled into what was left of your scream.

“Goddamn…oh, woman. Do you understand…this is…it’s heaven.” He shuddered as you tightened further around him, uneven breaths heaving through his chest as his then half lidded eyes met yours.

There were tears in your eyes again, his hand still so tight over your mouth. His fingertips pressing sharply into the sides of your face.

“Don’t do that…” His words were still coming in moans as he began to thrust right through that stinging you recognized as your body already tearing. “Don’t cry…” He was panting.

“I love you…I do.” He breathed. His hips were just moving harder and harder. “I know it…because only love hurts us this way. Doesn’t it?”

And you tried to close your eyes, trying to catch your breath when you couldn’t get enough air through your nose alone.

But as soon as you’d done that his voice changed so quickly again.

“Look at me!” He snapped

And as he kept thrusting over and over, those first beads of sweat were starting on his tan skin while you did as he commanded.

When your frightened eyes met his stare though, he only bared his teeth as well, soaking in your attention. It was a smile and yet it wasn’t. You didn’t even know what that expression was. “Will you…” He stammered as his hips pounded you relentlessly. “Will you ever…” He tried again and the words were lost between his own desperate gasps.

And he bit his own bottom lip suddenly before those unfinished words could come again. As if in pure frustration for not being able to articulate what he wanted. As if punishing his own mouth to your further shock. Blood began to run down from that self inflicted wound. It dripped from his chin as he began to laugh uncontrollably.

The sound of Doflamingo’s laughter echoed in the large bed chamber, alongside those wet, vulgar sounds of violent sex.

And when the laugh did finally fade again, you felt those drops of blood now falling from his broken lip onto you as he leaned down further.

He was looming over you then. His broad chest fully sheened with sweat. And his cock still splitting you inside as he licked the fresh blood from his lips.

He tried again to speak. And this time he succeeded.

“Tell me, woman…tell me you’ll love me back someday. It doesn’t matter if it’s true…I haven’t heard it since I was a child. I just want to remember what it sounds like…I want to hear it.”

And his hand slipped off of your mouth then, loosely grasping your throat instead. His bloody smile waiting, leering.

“Doffy…” You gasped, trying to reclaim some of your breath. The pressure still unbelievable within you, even with the drug’s strong effects.

He was so incredibly broken. And he was breaking you too. Like nothing you had ever seen before. You didn’t know how to escape this cycle, even as you still cried.

“Let me hold you first…” You begged, your arms fully numb above your head in those strings by now. “Please…”

And you saw his hesitation. Even in the throws of lust and need. “…you’ll strike me.” He said so immediately.

“I won’t.” You whimpered. You couldn’t take this any longer.

And even in his current wildness, he looked stressed at the idea. His eyes never left you, his thrusting did begin to slow.

Yet, something tilted the scale eventually. Likely only his own desire to be touched by you in turn as he abruptly moved his fingers. Your arms and legs hit limp against the bed as the strings finally released.

“Thank you…” You could even breathe better then, without your arms strung so tightly above your head.

And your word was something you did always do your best to keep. Even as you saw the concern still in his eyes as you moved your arms again.

He had tensed. His haki at the ready this time no doubt.

But of course you didn’t trick him. The only habitual manipulator here was the man above you as your palms cupped either side of his lean face instead.

He was still beautiful, even when he was hurting you. With that new fear in his eyes, that blood still seeping from his mouth. He didn’t know at all what you were going to say to him.

And it didn’t matter. Even if heaven and hell would have come together to laugh at you now. You still wanted him to hear the truth. Because didn’t everyone deserve to, if even once?

And you knew it was true. It must be. The only reason you weren’t doing everything in your power to fight back. The reason you kept letting him use you this way.

“I’m…I am already falling in love with you, Doflamingo.”

You saw him swallow. There was no smile, no laugh then. Just an utterly lost look on his face.

But he turned his head further against one of your hands, confusion the next emotion on his face. While his blind eye closed and he kissed your hand so softly. “…will you tell me then…will you tell me when I’ve earned it all the way…”

“I will.” You heard yourself say. Those tear stains still on your face. The blood on his.

He shivered. And his hips began moving again.

He did close both of his eyes now. Fully trusting you then. No longer afraid as he gave in to the feeling of your body alone. That pressure of being buried into you all the way to the hilt as he began rubbing your clit all over again to take you over that final edge with him.

It wasn’t much longer until you both had been moaning for that pleasure within the pain, and Doflamingo came so hard inside of you with a last shuddering gasp, almost a cry from him as his eyes remained tightly shut. His face still held within your protective hands.

He was panting, sweating and still shaking as his eyes gradually opened to meet your own tired ones below him again.

“You’re…you’re the one.” He told you so surely as he swallowed again. “The one I’ve been waiting for.”

———————————

T⨂ BE

CONTINUED

———————————

Thanks for reading!

#doflamingo smut #one piece smut #doflamingo fanfic #one piece fan fiction #doflamingo x reader #doflamingo x y/n #doflamingo x you #doffy x y/n #doffy x reader #doffy x you #donquixote doflamingo #doflamingo #doflamingo one piece #op doflamingo #doffy #doffy one piece #one piece doflamingo #doflamingo’s marine

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galene-gothic · 1 hour

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𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾’𝗌 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗋𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗌

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES (summer sale and offers)

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

Right away, your future spouse is a scarily hard worker like a hardcore hustler. They’re often thinking about their work because to them it’s a huge responsibility, they are always thinking about ways to work harder and do more in terms of work, to make their work better in some way. Also, they’re someone who doesn’t show when they’re struggling. They follow the classic philosophy of “if a problem can be solved, there’s no use worrying about it and if it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good.” They’re really wise and mature, they’re also refined yet raw. Due to how refined, wise and mature they are, they might not fit in with others because unfortunately, most people are not that way, in fact, due to how people feel intimidated by them, others could act as if your person is the superficial one and the fact that despite their refined nature, they have candid and clumsy moments, and are just so down to earth leads to others misunderstanding and criticising them but they still choose to practice gratitude and stay true to themself. They’re also able to maintain a very “fake it till you make it” mindset, except they’re not even really faking it, they believe that a person doesn’t become ‘somebody’ just because they achieved stuff externally, they believe that a person is always ‘somebody’ before they even achieve anything at all. Which is why they pay curtsy to everyone and try to maintain a confident, elegant and abundant mindset. They’re also very independent. They are able to overcome and grow from every obstacle that they face. When they’re faced with the consequences of their actions or even just bad luck.

If they can think about a time when they did something that caused someone else to experience a similar situation, they just take it as bad karma and work through it with grace instead of victimising themself. They’re able to accept both the positives and negatives that may cover their way because they understand that that’s just the way life is. They understand that life is a growing experience and that life would be very boring if it weren’t for the ups and downs. They have something very ‘dream girl/boy’ about themself. They’ve dealt with moments when they’ve felt like no one was there for and with them. They’ve felt left out in the cold and unsupported by others. They’ve dealt with break ups (be it romantic or platonic) but have been able to find solace within themself. At such times, when life seems to be throwing curveballs their way, they go within themself to find answers, they look to the past and move forward while still making the most out of their present. They’re also extremely loyal regarding matters of the heart (love of any sort - romantic, platonic, familial, so on and so forth). They’re extremely ride or die and because they themself, have experienced low moments, they know how to connect with those who are struggling. They have a lot of empathy for those they love. They try to understand their loved ones on a close personal level, desiring to know their vulnerabilities, weaknesses, shadows and skeletons, wanting to love them through it all. I hope that you enjoyed the reading and that it resonated, much love and take care, until next time 💞.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

Your future spouse is extremely ambitious, they have it in them too push forward despite the self consciousness, fear or criticism from others. They are very fiery as a person and pretty connected to their inner child. They actively think about their childhood and try to work through any issues that may have stemmed from back then. They know how to have fun and act childlike at times. They know how to play with an idea and let it grow into what it wants to be over time. They know how to not commit to things that may not lead to the results that they desire. They’re also really good at communicating and especially when writing, the writings that they put out - be it an email, message or article, they try to make sure that it has a certain eloquence to it. They’re extremely charming, I’m getting ‘Rasputin’ by Boney M. They possess a natural charisma due to their ability to use words to their advantage, have fun and their fiery nature when it comes to life, including their ambitions. They’re probably really popular among the ladies (if it’s a man that you’re inquiring about) 😭. How dare they? How dare they be attractive to girls who are not you? Ahaha, well, good for you though, they’re a total heartthrob. Despite, their fiery nature, they have a certain grounded quality to them, they know how to adjust their priorities in order to experience the life that they desire to live. They also have a tendency to have their work consume them, when they’re working, they dislike having anyone even talk to them because they’re so immersed and focused, and they work really well. They prioritise play and know how to have fun but they don’t do it at the expense of their work. They’re very intense, when they work hard, they work hard and when they play hard. they play hard. They’re quite a flirt honestly but when it comes to love, they’re very loyal, they desire to be their partner’s fully and to have their partner be their’s completely too. You may wonder why being this way is admirable but it truly is, they have a very well rounded character.

Even though they’re popular with the ladies or gents (depending on who you’re inquiring about), they do not forget their own values and character. They know how to hold themself to high standards while still treating those around them with respect. They know how to climb the social ladder without scamming, cheating and lying to people. Also, random but their sexual capabilities are great too, their tongue does more than just spew out charming words after all 😔. They know how to put themself first and be an old school respectable person in many ways. They know how to value certain traditions and values without putting down those who aren’t traditional. They know how to have a nuanced understanding of everything and understand that everyone goes through phases. They know how and when to give tough love, they also know how to grow through tough love. They’re very intense so if someone hurts their feelings, they’ll either outright cut them off, refusing to communicate at all or will stand up for themself very firmly. If something doesn’t make sense to them, if they feel wronged, they are going to fight back for themself. They’re also going to stand up for you and fight for you if anyone wrongs you. When they love people, no matter how many arguments or troubles may come in, they don’t leave them. They have it in them to ride until the end. However, when things do end, they have the ability to realise that if the other person gave up or treated them a certain way, the loss wasn’t even great to begin with. They have strong self respect and will move on completely without any attachments at all if wronged. They’re very loving and caring though, they pay attention to the little details and also express love in grand ways. They’re also fiercely loyal once committed so it makes sense as to why they get so angry when they’re wronged. They’ll always have your back though. I hope that you enjoyed the reading and that it resonated, much love and take care, until next time 💞.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

Your future spouse is really good with words. They’re very charming and they do it in a very swift, and unsuspecting manner. They’re adored deeply. They’re very childlike and ambitious in their thinking. They are able to have free ambitions the way children do. They’re quite fearless, they have it in them to push towards their goals regardless of what the outside world may be saying because there’s a certain childlike quality to the way they think. They prioritise passion and excitement, they explore different hobbies, skills and things. For them, stimulation is very important. They’re also always able to stand empowered. This pile is similar to pile 2 but pretty different at the same time. Your person is confident and doesn’t fear things as much as pile 2’s person does. They’re also very competitive, they excel in almost every field and they’re known for it. Just a really multifaceted person. They’re well skilled in multiple areas and things. They’re really loveable, they know how to have fun and when they’re around, it’s automatically more fun and lively. They have a very “we live once, might as well do it all” kind of mindset. Their reflexes are impressive too. Also, they’re a fast learner. They overcome obstacles with ease and grace, pretty fast too because they don’t even let anything get to them. They’re consistently working on their goals causing them to achieve their dreams pretty quickly and efficiently. They have a strong sense of direction and don’t let their head or actions go to the wrong places. They’re communicative and are able to keep up with fast paced, high energy environments. They’re a crazy competitor to have in this fast paced world.

Success is attracted to them just because of the way they think, are, act, etc. They’re hopeful regarding everything and are also able to make friends easily. They’re consistently making progress in life. If right now, them and another person were in the same position as an intern, they could come out as a CEO in just a few years while the other person would have come up to be an employee. Not only are they this strong, fun and dynamic personality wise but also very mature when it comes to emotions. They try their best to understand the emotions and mindset of the other person. They like to form peaceful resolutions and have the understanding that healthy relationships require compromise. They don’t mind making major sacrifices for those that they love. They try to communicate and move on from resentments. They truly do want to make it right with those they love, even with those who they don’t have attachments to, they choose to be the bigger person. Also, due to how much they have and their mindset that’s whole and mature yet childlike, they’re genuinely happy for others. They know how to clap for other people’s achievements and genuinely mean good, genuinely feel happy for them. I aspire to be more like your future spouse ahaha. Also, even though, they’re forgiving, mature, sacrificing and try their best to communicate, and work through differences (they’re really good at accepting people’s differences, especially their loved ones’), once they’re done, you’re as good as dead to them. I hope that you enjoyed the reading and that it resonated, much love and take care, until next time 💞.

#intuitive readings #pac #pac reading #tarot pac #pick a card #pick a deck #future spouse pick a card #future spouse

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c-e-d-dreamer · 16 hours

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Punish You With Pleasure (Pleasure You With Pain): Part Four

A/N: Happy Tuesday! Who's ready for more Rhysta? Well, there's not really a lot of Rhysta happening here but... Also sorry, besties. No smut in this update either. But! We are really getting into it now. I hope you're ready for ✨drama✨ And with a new update comes the evergreen reminder that Rhys is not a good person in this fic. The fun of it is that it's the worst version of him. So if you don't like, don't read. Scrolling past is free

Read on AO3

Rhys feels entirely too keyed-up.

His power writhes in his chest, darkness slithering between his ribs and tightening like coils around his lungs. He swears he can feel that power scrape down his limbs like claws, feel it pulse and pound in time with every beat of his heart. The beast within him prowls restlessly, hackles raised and hairs standing on end. Caged and hungry to get out.

It leaves him feeling untethered, on edge. He’s had to expel more magic than normal out of pure need to shake the building energy. Had to fly deep into the Illyrian mountains and simply unleash himself. He’d caused a bit of an avalanche, but the relief had been worth it. The release had been worth it.

And he was beyond desperate for release.

Three days. It had been three days since he paid a visit to Nesta’s apartment, more than ready for another taste of her, another chance to watch the way her cunt took his cock and dripped with his seed, another opportunity to keep her stuffed full of him, only to find the place completely empty. He’d tried to be inconspicuous, asking around the apartment building, even daring to take a trip to Nesta’s favorite watering hole, the Wolf’s Den, but no one had seen the eldest Archeron.

He’d even tried to reach out to her mind, casting his talons as far and wide as he could, but there was not a single trace. Her mind was nowhere to be found. Nesta was nowhere to be found. At least, not in Velaris. Wherever she went, Rhys can’t reach her.

He sighs softly, rolling his shoulders and neck. His fingers curl against his desk, claws breaking free without his control and scraping against the wood. The splintering sound is jarring in the otherwise quiet study, and Rhys winces as he looks down at the gouges left behind. Another huff, and he shoves the papers in front of him aside, covering the marks and hiding them from sight.

Rhys nearly jumps out of his skin at the feel of hands on his shoulders, palms sliding down his chest. He turns his head to meet a pair of bright blue gray eyes, a freckle smattered nose, and a smear of green paint across a cheek bone.

“You’ve been working so hard you didn’t even hear me come in,” Feyre teases lightly.

She pulls back and walks around Rhys’s chair, slipping up and onto his desk. She tilts her head as she peers at him, reaching a hand forward and pushing the hair off his forehead, fingers slipping through the strands and sliding along his scalp with the movement. Her lips pinch in the barest hint of a frown, eyebrows beginning to pinch together.

“You look terrible.”

Rhys chuckles, raising an eyebrow at the comment. “Just what every male wants to hear, darling.”

“I mean it,” Feyre insists, her gaze roving over his face like she can find the answers she’s searching for there. “Have you not been sleeping?”

Rhys looks away from her burning gaze, his jaw clenching with that still barely concealed frustration writhing beneath his skin. “I’m simply trying to ensure this Court’s success. I’ve always been trying to ensure this Court’s success.”

Feyre sighs softly, her hand sliding from his hair down to his shoulder, fingers squeezing lightly. “And you have, Rhys. Everyone is at peace now.”

But just peace isn’t enough. It’s what no one else seems to understand. No one else seems to see exactly what Rhys is trying to build here. See how the Night Court could be so much more.

It’s what his father always told him when he was younger, stories of their ancestors. Legends and myths of grand creatures, powerful creatures. How they used to rule all the lands with iron claws. How they could drink the magic of the land like wine. And those beasts at their feet that prowled Prythian. The same beasts carved into the onyx of the Hewn City.

The same beast that prowls within Rhys.

Unleashing that beast within them was how his ancestors were able to defeat their god-like dictators in the end. How they were able to rise from the ashes and rule all of Prythian. How they were able to turn their attention to worlds beyond. And, according to Rhys’s father, with that kernel of power that still endures in their family line, with their own magic and beasts, they could be great like that again.

Possibilities.

That was what his father would say while he trained his magic, during his lessons. Whispered promises of what could be. What Rhys could be. What the Night Court could be. How powerful they could be. How feared they could be.

A beast on his true, deserving throne, all under his rule and a legacy of power to follow him and keep that mantle.

Rhys lets out a quiet gasp of surprise as warmth floods through his shoulder. Soft, golden light sparks in the corner of his vision, weaving between Feyre’s fingers and burrowing beneath his skin. It twines around his muscles, relaxing and unwinding them in a way only magic can. Healing magic from Dawn in this particular instance.

Rhys focuses his attention back on Feyre. On his mate with the power of seven High Lords flowing through her veins. He swears he can see all that power that lives just beneath her skin, see it fluttering in time with the pulse in her neck. The beast purrs in delight at the reminder.

Feyre lets out a squeal of surprise when Rhys’s hands grasp her waist, hauling her off the desk and onto his lap. He situates her until her back is pressed against his chest, her head tipped back against his shoulder.

“Feeling better, then?” Feyre asks, shifting her hips under the guise of getting more comfortable.

Rhys’s body responds to the movement in an instance, cock twitching in interest and blood simmering with heat. He tightens his grip on Feyre’s hips, tight enough to still her, tight enough to pull a soft groan from her throat, tight enough that he wonders if she’ll be marked with pretty bruises that perfectly match his fingers.

“What’s gotten into you?”

Rhys chuckles darkly, slipping one of his hands up and beneath the oversized sweater Feyre is wearing. He moves his hand up over her stomach slowly, relishing in the shiver that takes over her body. He continues his path up and up until he finds her breast, delighted to find no fabric or barrier between her skin and his palm.

“I’m much more concerned about what could get into you. Ideally, my cock.” Rhys presses his lips right to Feyre’s ear. “And my seed.”

~ * * * ~

Cassian swings the ax over his head, feeling the wood split beneath the force. He huffs as he pulls the ax free again, tossing the wood onto the ever growing pile to his right. The muscles in his arms start to ache with the repeated exertion, but it’s a welcome reprieve, the perfect distraction from the emotions still raging like a storm within him.

Another swing of the ax and Cassian tips his head toward the sky. He can just see the sun beginning to rise above the line of trees surrounding him, above the mountains. The pale blue sky and the early morning breeze doesn’t provide the relief he’s hoping for, though. It doesn’t help that this place still scrapes along his spine like claws.

It’s been decades since he last stepped foot here. It’s been centuries since he returned only to learn that his mother had passed while he was gone, since he razed this entire village and all those males that were complicit until nothing but ash and smoldering ground remained. An echo of the pain that blazed through and scarred his chest. An embodiment of the grief that left his heart torn to ribbons.

It took around a century for the regret to creep in. This place was his mother’s home. It was meant to be his home before he was plucked away and tossed into Windhaven. So he started flying back when he could, started building this cabin in hopes of it blooming into something more, helping this village to fully heal. But some ghosts can’t be chased away. They cling to the soil beneath his boots, twine around the branches of the trees, haunt every shadow and corner.

What would his mother think now? Seeing her home reduced to nothing more than a long forgotten graveyard. What would she think of Nesta? The female the Mother saw fit to bless him as his equal, pregnant by another. For a moment, Cassian swore that he saw his mother in Nesta, saw a whisper of her in her expression, in her eyes.

It broke his heart all over again.

Cassian’s grip tightens around the handle of the ax, swinging hard enough that the blade embeds itself in the stump of the tree at his feet. He decides to leave it there, gathering up as much wood as he can carry in his arms and trudging back inside the cabin. He spies Nesta up in the loft, still fast asleep.

It feels almost strange to have her scent all over this place now, the sweet smell of vanilla and lilies made only sweeter by the budding one just beneath. If Cassian closes his eyes, he can still feel the weight of her fingers in the spaces between his own as she let him guide her out of the bakery. Can still feel her body pressed against his chest as he flew them both to Illyria.

Keeping his steps quiet, Cassian makes his way over to the fireplace, stoking the low burning flames higher and adding fresh logs. Heat begins to prickle his skin and the air around him, and he knows soon the whole cabin will be pleasantly warm, chasing away the morning chill. He glances toward the kitchen, wondering what sort of food he may be able to dredge up for breakfast when the sound of a quiet whimper reaches his ears, his entire body freezing.

He’s been on edge since he returned to Velaris, since he discovered Nesta and what happened. His instincts have been writhing in his chest, sinking their claws in and roaring for attention. And just that sound has those instincts rearing their head yet again. His heart seizes, siphons on his hand pulsing until only red floods the corners of his vision.

He’s up the stairs to the loft in seconds, but his panic turns to confusion when he finds Nesta still tucked beneath the blankets of the bed. She shifts in her sleep, and Cassian watches as her brows pinch together, her lips twisting. When another whimper escapes, he closes the remaining space between them, carefully approaching the bed.

“Nesta,” Cassian starts, reaching out for Nesta’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Nes, you need to wake up.”

Nesta’s entire body jerks, and she gasps on a hard intake of air as she wakes. She scrambles up and away from Cassian, frantic eyes dancing around the loft. Cassian doesn’t miss the way her hands seem to shake, even as they twist and grasp at the blankets, her chest heaving with each breath.

“It’s okay,” Cassian continues, keeping his voice quiet. “You’re okay, sweetheart. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.”

Nesta’s attention snaps to him, the fear finally melting away from her face, but it’s not relief that takes over her expression. Instead, there’s a hollowness, a dejected sort of acceptance as she curls her knees up to her chest.

“It’s always real,” Nesta whispers, looking away from him again. “That’s the worst part. It’s always just reliving what’s real.”

“Tell me how I can help. What do you need?”

“A drink,” Nesta snorts dryly. “But I can’t have one of those to help chase away the nightmares anymore.”

Cassian winces, at least glad that she doesn’t see his reaction. “How about a cup of tea? And some breakfast?”

“Is tea your answer for everything?”

Cassian chuckles. “Only if it helps.”

Nesta sighs softly, but she shoves the blankets off her legs, slipping off the bed. Cassian leads the way down out of the loft and into the kitchen, busying himself with getting the tea going first. Only when the warm porcelain is pressed between Nesta’s palms does he worry about preparing food for them both.

“You know…” Cassian starts, giving the oatmeal in the pot a good stir. “Leading up to the Blood Rite, I would have terrible nightmares about it. Dreamt of Az getting run through with a sword. Of… of Rhys falling from Ramiel.”

It takes everything within Cassian to swallow down his shiver at the reminder of those dreams. They were always so vivid, inescapable in the worst way. He digs two bowls out of the cabinet, scooping oatmeal into each and sliding one over to Nesta.

“After the first War, the nightmares shifted. We were all stationed apart during it. I was out west, as were most of the Illyrians. I suppose, looking back on it now, it was because we were more expendable. Because the battles were awful there, brutal, the whole field just red and bodies. That’s what I would dream, but every face would be my family’s. It haunted me for years.”

“Is this meant to make me feel better? That you have nightmares too?”

“Is it not?” Cassian teases lightly, taking a bite of his own breakfast before he turns serious again. “After this most recent war, the nightmares shifted again.”

Nesta rolls her eyes, merely poking at her oatmeal aimlessly. “Let me guess. Your brothers taken out by the Cauldron?”

“Not quite. Sometimes, I do dream of that Illyrian legion. Gone in the blink of an eye. But usually, my dreams are of you, of that moment we faced down the King of Hybern. But in my nightmares, he doesn't just disarm you, he runs you through with that sword, and I can’t save you.”

Nesta doesn’t say anything for a moment, those blue eyes of hers still so guarded as she stares at him. But then that all too familiar scowl is twisting across her face, fire sparking to life behind her irises. She roughly shoves her breakfast away, raising her chin in nothing short of defiance.

“I don’t need your saving.”

“I know. I didn’t… that’s not what I was trying to say. That’s not why I’m doing this.”

“Oh, I know why you’re doing this,” Nesta laughs derisively. “It’s your obligation.”

The response takes Cassian by surprise, and he frowns slightly. “Obligation?”

“I’m not stupid. I may have been human before, but I can still feel it. I know what this is between us.”

Cassian goes stock still. It’s a word he hasn’t said aloud, a word he’s scarcely allowed himself to even think until recently.

Mate.

He’d sworn he’d felt it, that first moment he’d stepped foot inside the Archeron manor, the first time his eyes met a human pair of stormy blue ones. Sworn that in that moment even the Mother herself held her breath, sworn that something golden and warm slithered around his ribs. That golden thread had only solidified during the War, when they faced down the King.

Cassian doesn’t think he’ll ever forget reaching for what remained of his magic reserve to throw a shield around her, driving forward with a sword if only to give her time to get away. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget begging her to run, the instincts writhing and raging in his chest worse than any other pain the King may have inflicted on him.

If only he hadn’t been so afraid to name what it was in those days immediately, to go to her. If only he hadn’t been such a coward.

“Well, I am freeing you of your obligation,” Nesta continues, her own voice sounding strained. “Just tell me the words to say, and I’ll–”

“Don’t.” Cassian clutches desperately at his side as if he can hold the golden thread in place by sheer force alone. “If you don’t want me, that’s one thing, but don’t you dare break it because you think you’re doing me some service. I care about you, Nesta. I’ve always cared about you. And I’m doing this because I care about you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you actually don’t have a say in my feelings.”

Nesta sighs, looking away from him. “It’s just the bond making you think you care.”

Cassian dares to step around the counter and closer to Nesta, to step nearer into her space. “I know it’s all still new to you, but that’s not how mating bonds work. They can’t create feelings. Trust me. There have been plenty of mated pairs that hated each other throughout history.”

Even as he speaks, Nesta shakes her head. “You deserve better than me.”

“Nes–”

“You are good, Cassian,” Nesta snaps, looking back up at him. The tears lining her eyes send cracks shattering through Cassian’s chest. “You’re brave and brilliant and kind, and you deserve more than a female that only knows how to hurt those around her. Who failed her sisters again and again. Who couldn’t save her own father in time. Who fucked your brother!”

The words ring in Cassian’s ears, but all he can focus on is the single tear that slips free and slides down Nesta’s cheek. On the way her fingers have started to shake again. On the way her chest has started to heave with short, gasping breaths. It’s signs he recognizes all too well, ones he’s seen too often in the faces of his soldiers.

He gives in to his own instincts, his own desires. His hands reach out, gently curling around Nesta’s shoulders and tugging her closer. He shifts so that his arms are wrapped tight, holding her against his chest, holding her together. He’s not sure what he expects, but the gesture seems to be the final nail in the coffin, the last straw that sends the dam breaking. Nesta lets out a whimper, the sound slicing straight down to Cassian’s soul, and then she starts to sob. Each one wracks her whole body, her hand curling into a fist in the fabric of Cassian’s shirt.

“It’s alright, sweetheart” Cassian whispers against her hair, sliding a hand down her spine in what he hopes is a soothing gesture. “I’ve got you.”

He keeps holding Nesta close, keeps whispering soft, soothing words, until her cries slowly subside to quiet sniffles. Even then, he doesn’t want to let her go, keeping his lips pressed to the crown of her head. Movement out of the corner of his eye has him drawing back in the end, the sound of parchment against the wood of the table drawing even Nesta’s attention.

“I thought you said they wouldn’t be able to find us here?”

“The magic is attached to me, not the place,” Cassian explains, reluctantly pulling back so he can grab the note. “You’re still safe here.”

Nesta still looks wary, but she nods. “What does it say?”

With a soft sigh, Cassian unfolds the piece of parchment, recognizing the clumsy script of the High Lady. He knew it was inevitable, knew it would all be inescapable in the end, but the words scrawled across the page still have his heart stuttering to a painful stop in his chest, his stomach dropping into his toes.

Come to the River House. It’s Nesta

~ * * * ~

Cassian lands before the front gate of the River House, taking a moment to peer up at the gray stone of the manor, at the lines of windows, at the winding path and greenery that leads to the front door. He takes a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. He takes a moment to check the straps of his leathers, the swords at his back and the daggers at his thighs. He has no idea what he’ll be walking into, but he’s sure that it can’t be good.

Rolling his shoulders, Cassian finally steps through the front gate and up to the front door. He pauses, hesitates, before reaching toward the door handle, reminding himself that he wouldn’t normally knock. Under normal circumstances, he would stroll right in as though this was his own home.

Even if these aren’t normal circumstances. Even if he’s not sure he’d still call it that now.

He’s not surprised to find the entrance hall empty, but voices drift toward him from further down the hall, from Rhysand’s study if Cassian had to guess. He starts to head in that direction but then the very male in question is stepping down the winding staircase, his eyes meeting Cassian’s.

Cassian clocks the exact moment Rhysand notices his scent, his steps faltering for just a moment before he continues the rest of the way down the stairs and into the entrance hall. Cassian hadn’t bothered trying to scrub himself down before flying here. He knew there would be no erasing the whisper of Nesta along his skin anyways. And maybe there’s a bit of selfish satisfaction in it too, watching the way Rhysand’s jaw feathers.

Just seeing him has Cassian’s rage flaring again. It licks down his limbs like flames, his magic swelling in response and sending his siphons pulsing. It doesn’t help that despite what’s happened, what he did, Rhysand still carries himself with a casual coolness. He merely tilts his head as he peers at Cassian, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“I suppose I should have known you'd have something to do with the disappearance.”

Cassian scoffs, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “Really? That's what you want to fucking say to me?”

There’s not even a flicker of a change on Rhysand’s expression. “Where is she?”

“As if I'd tell you,” Cassian growls out, daring to take a step closer into Rhysand’s space. “You're lucky I don't punch you in the face right now.”

“I’m your High Lord.”

“Yeah… and to think I once thought you were my brother.” Cassian shakes his head, not even sure he really knows the male still standing in front of him. “How could you?”

Rhysand’s violet eyes flash at that, a crack in his expression giving way to a cold, mocking smirk. “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Cass. Did she tell you how she screamed my name?”

The snarl is loosing from Cassian’s throat before he can even attempt to stop it. Red bleeds into the corners of his vision, and not just from his siphons as his arm raises. His instincts demand retribution at such a slight, and he can’t wait to hear the crunch of bone beneath his fist, to feel Rhysand’s flesh as it gives way to the force.

“Cassian. You made it.”

Cassian pulls back at the new voice, turning to find Feyre has stepped out of the study, find her walking down the hall toward them. Her blue eyes flit between both males before landing back on Cassian, nothing short of sympathy burning in her gaze, in her frown and pinched brows.

“Rhys told you, then,” Feyre sighs softly, coming to stand beside her mate. “Don’t worry. We will find her.”

“Actually, darling,” Rhysand begins, lips twitching slightly as he turns toward his mate. “Cassian already knows where Nesta is.”

Cassian laughs humorlessly. “Are you sure you want to go there, Rhysand?”

“You know where my sister is?”

Rhysand meets Cassian’s gaze head-on, even as he answers Feyre’s question, “I tried to get him to tell me where she is, but he refused.”

Cassian shakes his head, huffing quietly. He suppose that answers his question as much as Feyre’s. The challenge clear in Rhysand’s eyes. He chances a glance at the High Lady, Feyre already watching him. Her face is scrunched up in confusion, blue eyes practically imploring him to answer. Cassian swallows hard at that expression. As much as he wants to hurt Rhysand, he’s not sure he can stomach doing the same to Feyre.

“I took her somewhere safe. That’s all that matters.”

“Safe?” Feyre repeats, crossing her arms across her chest. “She was safe in Velaris.”

“Was she?” Cassian can’t help but drawl.

“What does that mean?”

“Maybe you should ask your mate.”

The words are enough to give Feyre pause, her attention flitting to Rhysand for a moment before turning back to Cassian with new resolve. “I’m asking you. I am your High Lady, and I am demanding you tell me where you took my sister. That is an order.”

“I told you. I took her somewhere safe, somewhere away from him,” Cassian tells her, jerking his chin toward Rhysand.

“Away from Rhys? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What? Didn’t he tell you?” Cassian asks, his tone all mocking innocence. He’s had enough of this back and forth, this game. Enough of the lies. “Tell you how he’s been fucking your sister, how Nesta is pregnant with his child.”

Rhysand’s mask fully slips away, the beast Cassian knows prowls just beneath pushing to the surface as Rhysand's lips pull back in a sneer. Just that look has Cassian resetting his stance, readying for a fight. But Feyre lets out a quiet gasp, drawing both male’s attention back to her. Her blue eyes are wide, pinned to her mate like she can't believe it, like she's waiting for him to deny it.

But Cassian doesn't miss the way her hand drops to her stomach, fingers curling against the fabric of her sweater there. He doesn't know why he didn't notice it before, the way he decidedly can't pick up her scent. As though there's a shield around her blocking it. The realization has him wanting to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“Really, Rhysand? Who’s next? Elain?”

“Get out of my sight,” Rhysand growls, violet eyes blazing.

“Gladly,” Cassian bites back.

He turns on his heel, heading back toward the front door. He reaches for the handle when he feels it, the prickle of magic across his skin. It has his every hair standing on end, has his siphons pulsing in warning, responding to a threat. He's felt that lick of magic in the air before, during the War. Before Rhysand turned a whole chunk of Hybern’s armies into nothing more than night-kissed mist.

“Rhys.”

Cassian dares to turn over his shoulder at the sound of Feyre's broken whisper. Rhysand has his own head turned toward Feyre now, but Cassian doesn't wait for the High Lord’s attention to return to him. Nor does he turn back again. He’ll never turn back again.

#rhysta #nesrhys #nesta archeron #nessian #acotar #my fic

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japortalisman · 20 hours

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this is a good example of another reason why i have issues with the gap in characterization between TCW anidala and prequels anidala

i love sooo much how anakin trusts in padmé completely. and i love how that contrasts so starkly with that single painful, heart-wrenching moment he sees obi-wan coming out of the ship and his heart shatters because he 'realizes' (obviously she wasn't doing this, but this is his POV) she brought his master to kill him

this contrast, that literally rips your heart from your chest when you're watching the scene because it's so tragic, is undermined if you write anakin as someone who didn't trust in padmé before this and was insecure and controlling about her all along

anakin was passionate, confident and sometimes completely blinded or even arrogant because of that. but he loved her. he didn't want to cage her or control her, he just loved her. to write him as manipulative, insecure or controlling as a partner is undermining that he really wasn't those things at all.

his fall was a combination of factors, including grooming, trauma, force visions giving him more trauma, his fundamental incompatibilities personality wise with the jedi way, that unresolved sort of survival mode he was in from being a slave (and being failed by almost everyone in that regards to that, btw? they left shmi behind as a slave and they only took anakin because they thought he was their chosen one). anakin never consented to so many things that happened to him in his life and yet he still carried on with that 'taking care of others' mentality. he was literally 9 years old and he was bartering with the jawas like he was an adult all because he was trying to be a 'good slave' and make sure his family was safe. like...that's insane? he built a droid for his mother and then used that droid to get an edge when bartering for goods for his slave master. he's been in this mode of doing what he has to do and taking care of his loved ones and he happily did so every time. just like when he helped end the blockade on naboo (and these weren't even loved ones yet either, btw. unless you count him crushing on padmé). he didn't leave the jedi during the war, no, because in the same kind of way, how could he leave obi-wan or his loved ones during that? he couldn't do it just yet

but all this to say, my point is, his mental break wasn't because he was a macho/insecure/controlling husband. he loved people so strongly and it was genuine, not from a place of wanting to control them or be insecure about them. that's what makes him becoming a sith lord and hurting people he fought for so horrible and sad. that's what makes it so hard for people to believe when they hear it

#i promise i'm gonna stop talking about this discourse but it just drives me up a wall because it undermines the excellence of the tragedy #anakin #metas #japortalisman #anidala #anakin skywalker

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unforgivenntired2 · 2 days

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More than just butterflies

Todorokixreader

The afternoon sun filtered through the window, casting a warm glow over the cluttered desk where you sat, absorbed in your studies. Exams were coming soon and to be honest, everyone was scared about them. As you flipped through the pages of your textbook, trying to focus on the equations in front of you, a soft knock on the door interrupted your concentration.

"Come in," you called out, expecting one of your roommates.

The door creaked open, and you looked up to see Todoroki standing there, his dual-colored hair falling gently over his forehead. His expression was unreadable as usual, but there was something in his eyes, a glint of uncertainty perhaps.

"Hey, Todoroki. What's up?" you greeted him, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Um, I was wondering if you're free later," he said, his voice slightly hesitant as if he wasn't sure as to what he was saying.

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his request. "Sure, I don't have any plans. Why, what's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "I was thinking... maybe we could go grab some coffee together?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his suggestion. To be honest, You had a small huge crush on him for a while. Momo and Ochaco had just laughed saying that it was practically impossible that Shoto would ever like you back. Todoroki rarely initiated outings, especially not something as casual as getting coffee. "That.. That sounds great. I'd love to," you replied, trying to keep your excitement in check and not accidently squeal in front of him and do your happy dance.

As you walked to the nearby café, the air between you was charged with a strange tension. Todoroki seemed lost in thought, and you couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something important he wanted to discuss.

When you reached the café, you ordered your drinks and found a quiet corner to sit. The atmosphere was cozy, with soft music playing in the background, but the silence between you felt heavy.

Finally, Todoroki cleared his throat, breaking the quietude. "I... I wanted to talk to you about something," he began, his gaze fixed on his cup of coffee.

You nodded encouragingly, giving him the space to speak.

"It's... It's about... us," he said, his words hesitant but filled with determination.

Your heart skipped a beat at his admission. But.. there was no way. THE Shoto Todoroki who was always so clueless about normal teenager things would never.

"Us?" you echoed, trying to hide the hopeful tone in your voice.

Todoroki took a deep breath before continuing, his gaze meeting yours. "I... I've realized that... I care about you a lot. More than I thought I would," he confessed, his cheeks flushing slightly.

Your cheeks practically turned as red as a tomato and you couldn't help but let out a huge shout. "WHAT?!"

Todoroki flinched a bit at it. "D-Did I say something wrong...?" He looked at you awkwardly and you practically gave yourself a hard mental slap. Greaaatt y/n. Great job on fucking embarrassing yourself in front of the man you liked.

"Wait- nononono No! Y-You spoke great! Wait I mean no! I care about you so much too Todoroki!" You gave yourself another mental slap, thinking about how dumb and childish that must've sounded. You coughed as if to clear your throat and made your pathetic attempt to sound professional. "I-I mean I care about you too."

His expression softened, a small smile gracing his lips. He loved how cute you looked all flustered and struggling to talk. "I'm glad," he murmured, his eyes holding yours in a tender gaze.

As you sat there, lost in each other's eyes, you realized that this was just the beginning of something beautiful.

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vixen7243 · 13 hours

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Delusional/Depressed!John Price X AFAB!Reader

CW: Death, Suicide, Alcohol, Neglect (if I’m missing anything else let me know)

John Price was a respected, strong and honest captain, rookies always looked up to him and his team. Even if at times morally challenging decisions had to be made they knew he would have everyone’s back, he was a ride and die kinda guy. That’s what you loved about him, cherished, with more and more people working with the team the responsibility out weighed him and you were always more than welcoming when he would come to your bed late in the night. Your arms and warmth melting away his stress, anxiety and loneliness. “I’ll always be here for you my love.” You would whisper into his ear, rubbing his muscles, and combing your fingers through his hair.

As the last few months dragged on, you could see the toll of work on your lover, the death of rookies from missions were piling up and slowly killing him. Having to write and sign KIA forms for families you would sit near by as he chain smoked through his cigars and chugged any alcohol he could get his hands on.

Laying a gentle hand on his shoulder you would try to pull him back, “My love, please, come back to me?” Looking up as the door would open, Simon, John’s best, his lieutenant, his friend, walked in sighing.

“Aie, come on captain.” His voice is low and soft as can be, movements slow as if he was approaching a bomb that could go off at the slightest vibration.

“Leave us be.”

“Sir-“

John turned fully wrapping his arms around your waist trying to breathe you in, trying to hide the tears that ran down and soaked his beard. Looking to Simon mournfully you waited as he made his way around the desk prying John out of his chair, catching the fists that tried to push him away. “Damnit, leave us alone.”

“You need to get to bed.” Simon stated, hardening up a bit, man handling his captain all the way to his room. “Just need to sleep it off, ya?” Once near the bed John roughly pushed Simon to the door.

“Fucking hell , fine just get out.” Simon watched as John tucked into bed curling around you like a ball, shielding himself and you from the world. Closing the door Simon could hear the broken sobs, John saying your name and why, why couldn’t he be better.

As the days dragged so did John’s mind, quick checks over his shoulders had you and the rest of the team worried. Unknown to the rest of you, the long nights and alcohol worked his nerves, he swears he was seeing the rookies, clothes blood soaked, hoarse voices asking if their work was done. He felt lost, every corner more and more blocked him, even the living, asking, requesting to join him on the next mission.

Closing himself in your room, which for a while he’s used as his own and no one questions. Always tucking you into himself before his hands slowly wondered around your body, taking in every in, mind blanking as you turn and remove your clothes straddling him kissing his cheeks, nose, lips and neck trailing down. Lifting his hips as you pulled his pants off, he groaned looking down, your sweet smile making his stomach twist into knots. As the two of you got lost in each other, John couldn't stop the swell of pain and agony in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut he huffed as he felt a few rogue tears streak down his cheeks, "My love, what's wrong?" His fingers tighten around your waist, grip bruising, "Talk to me honey."

"Don't leave me." Looking up at you, your heart would break. It's not the first time he's broken down, scared of you disappearing, begging you to stay with him. "I can't live without you, your the air that inflates my lungs, blood in my veins, every thought that passes through my brain." Cupping your cheek as you used your thumbs to swipe at tears that continued to fall, "You're the light that makes my soul shine, vibrate and feel complete. There's nothing but you. Please. Don't leave me."

"I will always be here, there's no where I would go without you, my love." You whispered, grinding down, "I'm yours, always and forever." Both of you breathed into the other, "I'll never leave you."

Your room and arms will always be his safe place, so he would hide for as long as he could till the next job showed its unforgiving face. At one point brought some relief to just do something now brought anxiety and fear. Who was he going to loose this time, what family was going to read his name and curse him 1,000’s of miles away. What face was going to be added to his daily delusions in the halls and his office.

Setting out, John grew irritable and anxious as the team and a few unlucky rookies approached drop off. Your hand never left his, fingers tight intertwined in his lap, leg bouncing, and eyes darting. He could already feel the cold sweat breaking out on his forehead as he refused to look at or answer any of the rookies, Johnny and Kyle taking the lead on directing the new blood, advising them what to expect.

Simon watched John intently, checking where John would look to, also seeing but nothing being there. Mostly his eyes stayed on you, the soothing circular motion of your thumb on the pulse of his wrist kept his breathing under control.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“Stay low, they’ve got us surrounded.” John repeated over the walkies glaring at a rookie that Johnny just had to pull back as a round was shot at where they were just standing. Cursing under his breath he looked around, wondering where you had gone before his heart nearly stopped as he saw you get shot in the leg as you moved spots. Panicking he bolted for you dragging you behind some cargo, “Damnit Y/N what were you thinking?!”

“What?”

“I can’t loose you.” He said frantically looking around spotting Simon. “Get Y/N out of here, she’s shot!” Simon kneeled down looking between the two eyes saying everything, confusion and worry. “Now lieutenant!”

“But-“ before anything could be said Simon had picked them up and with John making cover, made sure everyone got out and to the Ronda Vue point. The whole way everyone was quiet, except for John cursing under his breath for Y/N and why she would put herself in harms way.

Before he could get too carried away Kyle bumped shoulders with him, "Sir, everyone's okay, relax." Jaw clenching, John glared forward at Simon's back.

"They're saying he was referring to private Williams as Y/n, even talking to himself." An officer said looking over to John who stared blankly away from everyone.

"He's fine." Simon's gruff voice waver, also looking to his captain he was trying to help him save face but the way he looked truly wasn't backing his statement.

"There's reports him always drinking, always talking to himself. Yet you say he's fine lieutenant?"

"John?" He looked slowly to you.

"We know it's been 2 years sinc-"

"So then cut him some slack." Kyle said trying to step in front of his captain.

"My love." Your voice was a broken hoarse whisper.

"There was a lot of doubt a year and half ago when he came back on if he should, we only looked the other way out of respect but this is far enough."

John felt his heart sinking, looking over you, he wanted to throw up, your shirt was darkening quickly with your blood, skin paling in comparison. "John."

He couldn't think, there was too much gun fire to think of a safe escape. 3 privates were already gunned down, bodies left behind in order to save themselves, their faces burned to his brain for later hauntings. Frantically he looked around for you, unable to even catch a glimpse of you he tried sneaking around to find you, an unsettling feeling pitting in his stomach. "No." he whispered, no longer staying low rather rushing in every direction that he can think of to find you.

"JOHN!"

Before he could see you, he was pushed to the ground when after 4 shots, all firing stopped. A pin could drop and it would echo in the building. Looking up his blood ran cold as you turned, eyes just as wide looking down at him, blood was starting to spread on your chest, "John?" Taking one step to him, you collapsed, making John scramble to you, ears ringing as his vision blurred.

"No, no, no." Pressing his hands into your chest he panicked, eyes unable to focus on one part of you, looking into your eyes, he broke down, "Don't you fucking die." Tears fell, splashing onto your cheek.

Reaching your hand up to his cheek you wiped a few tears, "I'm sorry my love."

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Looking up as footsteps approached, he looked at the team. "Give me your damn bags!"

"Honey, look at me." Your voice was breaking.

"Just save your energy, stop trying to fucking talk." He said snatching the bandages from Kyle pushing where ever blood would pool.

"I love you John."

"Stop."

"Don't...D-" Gasping your eyes teared up, hand reaching for his wrist, "Don't....I don't want to leave."

"Then don't." He whispered looking down at you, your scared face burned now into his brain.

"John." Gasping out one last time, your grip loosened on his wrist before you frantically looked to the guys and then.......

"Y/N?" ..... "Dear?" .... "Don't leave me.... please?" Pulling you up and hugging you tightly against his chest he started panting, grabbing your wrist, "I can't live without you." He whispered into your hair. He cried, sitting there with you, the guys silent around him, Kyle wiping a few tears as well as Johnny as Simon tried to blink away the few that tried to escape.

---

When your body was shipped back home, Simon, Kyle and Johnny went with John to his house, where they finally saw your shared home and land. You were buried under your guys favorite tree. Where you guys first kissed, confessed your feelings, made plans for your future, wedding, family, retirement. Now, it's where you would lay, John was frozen and numb as you were lowered into the ground, it was just him, Simon, Johnny, Kyle, Nikolai, Alex, Alejandro, Rudy, Kate and her wife. They all stayed as dirt was poured over your casket, quiet and unmoving as John quietly cried, before turning his back after glaring at your tomb stone.

In smaller print in the corner of your tomb stone, was written of the baby that was inside you. When he was told that you had been pregnant, the guys had never seen him lose control like he had in the morgue, flipping things, throwing an breaking anything he could. Simon ordered the mortician to leave and give them a moment, Kyle and Johnny tried to grab and stop John but he pushed them away, knocking Johnny flat on his ass as he screamed.

"That's supposed to be me god damnit! ME! I should be fucking laying there! FuCk!!!" Tears streamed down his face, he choked as he turned and looked at you, why'd you have to look so peaceful? Grabbing tightly onto your hand he fell hard onto his knees, the pain numbed as he rested his hand on your stomach, "I should be laying here, not you. Why the fuck couldn't you just let me take those bullets? You could have our baby, could've had a small part of me to stay with you.....You left me nothing." His knuckles turned white from his grip, the coldness of your hand a contrast from the heat of his.

Feeling a few hands grab onto his shoulders he tensed, the silence deafening but appreciated, he didn't want their pity words. They all stayed that night, sitting outside with him, few old stories told of you. How they met you, what they thought, their favorite memories, all just a muffled sound to John as he glared at the tree. Part of him wanted to burn the thing to the ground along with the house and himself, but knew how sad you would be, the knowledge of your pain of him doing that out weighing his self hating desire. The next day every but Simon, Johnny and Kyle left, telling John if he needed anything to call them. The following few days John was quiet, mostly kind of drinking here and there but not saying a word even when the others would talk to him.

"I don't need to be babysat." He grumbled, sitting in the living room in his chair looking at yours. Kyle had made the small mistake the day that the other left to sit there, John had gone absolutely ballistic like he had in the morgue but on Kyle, since then, no one went near it except for John to adjust your favorite blanket and flush your pillow. "You lot can go home."

"If you want us to go, we will." Kyle said knocking one knuckle against the wall lightly, not really trusting to leave him alone but everyone needs to mourn in their own way and he can only pray that his captain won't do anything stupid.

"Then go." Cut short and simple, he felt suffocated and wanted to shoot them all if they didn't leave him be. As they got into their own collective vehicles, John went back into the house, doing a slow walk through before he grabbed every last bottle of liquor in the house and sat in your chair and drank everything. Finally, finishing everything in a day and half drunk off his ass he drove half hazardously to the market, bought more as if he was through a ragger of a party, pulling up to the house he hauled everything in, his last trip in he froze at the threshold of the kitchen.

It's the alcohol, he's shit faced, that's the only explanation, because other wise he wouldn't be seeing you standing in the kitchen clear as day humming. "Hi honey, took you long enough."

---

John was discharged, sent into retirement with respect, and the guys took their leave, moving themselves in with John, the drinking had gotten worse. They did everything they could to keep an eye on him, but John fought them, made it hard, the first 2 months, he said some hard, hurtful things to them, drunk and stayed in his room.

Eventually, John came down, showered and hung over but calmer, he sat in his chair joining the guys. “I’m sorry.” He sighed digging into his pocket pulling out your engagement and wedding ring setting them on the coffee table. The tv was muted as they looked at the rings quietly before looking up at him as he spoke. “I was going to propose to her after we got home from the mission, was going to do it under the tree, set it up like when we first confessed our love for each other.” He laughed to himself, "Never was one for I one for romantic gestures, she always made the big moves. I was always content to just take care of her and provide for her." Rubbing your blanket between his fingers he looked up and saw you, a sad smile on your lightly glowing skin. "That's all I ever wanted to do for her, she had a shitty family and I wanted to give her everything she dreamed of. We were stupidly already trying for a family, she wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world and I wanted to give her that. Should've retired when we set out to try in hind sight but she was as stubborn as I am." Taking a deep breathe he picked the rings up looking at them, "She wanted you guys to always come by but selfishly I was enjoying our solitude, our world out here. I should've listened to her and invited you guys sooner, I'm sorry."

From then on, John worked on being more involved in the house and work the guys were doing, Kyle had taken up your garden with the help of Johnny, Simon kept up on anything that needed fixing around the house, Johnny mostly cut the grass and watered your plants inside the house. All of them took turns cooking meals, very quickly with John now included in the motion of everything settled. He still saw you around the house, but now he welcomed it, it was always a break in the emotionless auto pilot he found himself in.

A year went by, Johnny and Simon came out about their relationship and John was more than willing to push them into the small mother in law house that was in the back also close to the house and tree.John encouraged Kyle to date the sweet girl he was fancy with at the town's little diner which was blossoming and the two grew close quickly. John spent his time making a bench most of the time, now not having touched an ounce of liquor in a year.

Finishing the bench on your anniversary, he brought it to the tree by your tombstone, he had kept up the area, keeping the grass cut and every morning laying fresh flowers down with your tea. Sitting down on the bench, he grabbed his full bottle of antidepressants, and then benadryl, downing both and sipping on tea, the breeze cool against his skin as the sun beat down on him. Looking beside him he smile, "HI baby."

"Hi."

"Don't look so sad honey."

"You know I don't want you to do this."

"But I want to do this." He said wiping a tear from your cheek. "The lads will be taken care of, everything is left to them."

"So they're going to find you here? Dead?"

"In peace, free and with you. Where I belong."

Settling in, tucked into his side you both were quiet as his heart started beating a little slower, eye lids slowly falling shut as he could feel a faint phantom feeling of your lips touching his cheek.

The guys all made their way to your grave, something they all did with John most evenings to say good night. Coming around the tree they froze seeing John sitting on the bench, unmoving, head leaned back with moist cheeks from tears. Within days John was buried beside you, his will was read, and they officially moved to the houses, Johnny and Simon stayed in the 'mother in law' house and Kyle and his girlfriend moved into the main house, but they set John and you chair on Johnny and Simon's porch preserved and safe, Just like John promised you, they were taken care of, always visiting your guys graves on holldays and anniversary's.

——-

😭😭😭😭😭😭When I tell you guys that I cried thinking about this plot yesterday and then a little broken up while writing it today I mean it! Hopefully you guys... Enjoyed??🤷‍♀️It plagued me and now it will plague you all...Sorry.🙏

#call of duty #task force 141 #x reader #john price #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz #soap #ghost #cod men #tf141 #captain john price #captain price #main character death

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