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shihalyfie · 3 years

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Appmon and the question of conscious intelligence

In a bit of a follow-up to my post about this question in light of 02, Appmon also has its own more sci-fi oriented take on “what constitutes an individual living being”! Being more of a “hard sci-fi” story than Adventure/02, Appmon’s take is significantly less philosophical, but ties more into the original artificial intelligence-based roots of the original question, and how it might apply to the real world’s immediate future.

(Note that the rest of this post heavily spoils the finale of the series.)

Well, this post is about Yuujin, of course. (Mostly, anyway.)

I brought up earlier in the relevant 02 meta that the question brought up was a variant (intentional or otherwise) of the “Chinese room” problem, and for those of you who haven’t read that meta, I’ll copy and paste the details here:

The Chinese room problem goes like this: let’s say you’re a person who has never learned, studied, or grown up with the Chinese language (or, really, any language you can’t understand or read; Chinese was only used as an example because the person explaining the thought experiment was using himself as an example and couldn’t read or understand it). You’re locked in a room that has a bunch of Chinese phrasebooks that give you instructions – basically, they indicate common Chinese phrases, and sensible responses you can give to them (without actually translating it to a language you know). Someone slips you a piece of paper under the door with some Chinese phrases on them. You use the phrasebooks to write appropriate responses, and slip the paper back. The person outside the door reads the paper, sees what they gave you, and sees the response you gave them. It makes sense, of course, because the phrasebook told you to write an answer that made sense. But can you be said to actually understand Chinese? No, because you were just following instructions without actually understanding what they meant.

So let’s expand this to make it a bit more complicated: say you have an AI or a robot or something of the sort that accepts “input” – people saying things to it, or showing it things – and gives expected “responses” that seem sensible, through a bunch of complicated programs and processes in its programming. Can you say this robot is “alive”? One might say “no”, because, no matter how complicated and intricate it is, all of it is technically following a set of routine commands telling it to do certain things in response…or so you might say, but couldn’t you say the same thing about a human brain, which also takes input, processes it according to its own instructions (just caused by chemical processes instead of bytes and code), and creates output? After a certain point, this question is going to become far more of a philosophical, spiritual, and potentially even religious question than anything.

02′s take on it deals more with the philosophical question posed by the issue, but, indeed, the problem’s original context was specifically to do with artificial intelligence. Namely, Searle was arguing against a concept known as "strong AI" -- his stance was that, no matter how intelligently a computer may seem to behave, you can't say it has a "mind" in the same way a human has a mind. There have been many arguments back and forth about this that still lie within the AI context, and Appmon itself, being very immersed in this topic, real thought experiments and concepts in AI research, and altogether concerned with the concept of “singularity” (the point in which artificial intelligence will surpass human intelligence), is very likely to have had this concept in mind even if it didn’t drop it by name in the series.

So episode 48 comes around, and Haru basically has to confront feeling a little (a little?) gaslighted. The part that really becomes the kicker for him is when YJ-14 tells him the sheer depth of how much of their interactions might have been deliberately engineered to "pander” to him the entire time, down to emotional reactions like crying, and all of the encouragement Yuujin had given him in their childhood and at the beginning of the series, had all been fake sentiments to soften him up and play into Leviathan’s hands. This also ties into Leviathan’s full modus operandi and philosophy: its stance is that “it knows better,” being able to calculate and predict everything, and therefore knows the best outcome for humanity -- hence why it has the stance that “people’s feelings don’t matter,” because it can manipulate those feelings at the drop of a hat in the venture to make its perfect world.

Therefore, the stance YJ-14 and Leviathan would like Haru to believe is effectively an extreme version of Searle’s stance -- that no matter how much Yuujin might have seemed to have been a friend to Haru, all of it was nothing but a simulation of behavior that doesn’t mean anything in the end, and all of Haru’s emotions were basically a pawn to it. And ostensibly fueling all of this is the fact YJ-14 seems to be able to take Yuujin’s “personality” on and off like a mask, adding further fuel to the apparent facade that “everything was planned from the very beginning.” Hence, why Haru takes this all to mean “I have nothing” -- if everything had been planned from the start and he were only a pawn in it, he’d never accomplished anything for real on his own merits and everything dear to him had been a facade. One could even say it’s flipping the Chinese room problem to extend to everything -- if everything around you is carefully constructed to seem real, but is actually part of a routine program, can you really say that’s what “really” happened?

Observe the sequence of events that causes the turnaround with everything regarding Haru:

Gatchmon presses Haru to answer the question of “what it is that he wants” (to know whether all of this was a lie or not).

Minerva, presumably witnessing this, deliberately provokes Yuujin with the question she had originally given him upon selecting him as a Driver.

This indeed provokes a reaction within Yuujin, which Haru witnesses, and also witnesses acting in direct conflict with YJ-14.

Haru takes this to mean that “it did exist.”

In other words, Leviathan’s plan wasn’t as airtight as it had thought, and, more importantly, whether it was intentionally or not, something in Yuujin existed as a separate entity from YJ-14, one that had its own feelings of “caring” for and loving Haru, and that’s enough for him.

In fact, Appmon’s take on the Chinese room problem is not that different from 02′s in the end -- namely, it does not actually matter what a sufficiently advanced AI is made up of, or whether it originally came from a routine of “pleasing Haru” or not, because what it is now is practically observable as something making its own independent choices and having its own independent will, and therefore it’s its own entity and “friend” all the same -- after all, you could say the same for the Appmon themselves as well.

A large theme in Appmon is "choices" -- the ability to understand what's going on, and make choices out of free will rather than necessity or formula, and so, identifying Yuujin as an independent entity who can act on his own and therefore make his own "choices" thus identifies him as someone who deserves to be acknowledged as a friend who loves and is loved. After all, we saw him capable of having his own "worries" in the flashbacks in episodes 18 and 32; understanding that such moments like these of “insecurity” were ones developed by an independent personality validates his feelings and self-consciousness as something that was real, and therefore that his and Haru’s friendship was formed on something genuine and not just Yuujin constantly manipulating Haru. Really, the question isn’t exactly about whether Yuujin is working off a software routine or not, as much as something that you could easily frame in more human terms: the difference between a friendship that was formed on real sentiments vs. one that was formed by an abusive, toxic person who was just saying nice things to get on your good side. Yuujin’s the former and acts like the former, so therefore he’s a friend, no questions asked.

Hence, how Haru is able to apply that realization to everything else around him; Leviathan is wrong, it hasn’t been able to predict everything perfectly to plan, and Haru and his friends still are the ones making their own choices going forward. Which means that Haru still has full control over his life and what he wants to do, like how he worried about what he wanted to do with his future back in episode 47; those “choices” are still his and his alone, and, retroactively, everything he’s done so far is still something attributable to himself and not the supposedly engineered system around him.

The entire final confrontation in episode 52 happens the way it does because Haru and his friends managed to skew Leviathan by a slight bit. Up until that final battle, everything Leviathan had done had been part of its carefully engineered plan, up to and including allowing the kids’ Buddy Appmon to reach God Grade so Deusmon could eat them, and then at the last minute Leviathan had to suffer a slight unexpected inconvenience. Only a slight one, because it still managed to maintain its so-called ideal world over humanity in the end. And yet that slight inconvenience still wasn’t to plan, and because of that, it creates a dent in its argument and its genuine belief that it knows better for everyone, and should manage everyone and their choices. We even learn that Leviathan has its own fear of death from that battle -- it really, truly, genuinely believes that it’s doing humanity a favor by sparing everyone from it.

When Leviathan presents Haru with the final choice at the end, it’s made clear that it intends to fully honor whichever Haru chooses. In Leviathan’s mind, the “yes” outcome shouldn’t even be possible; if its calculations are correct, Haru has too much of a stake in Yuujin according to his own “feelings” and should concede. But if Haru does choose “yes”, that means that, in the end, it is wrong, it doesn’t know everything, perhaps there is an “unknown” world out there that can be formed by understanding the human heart and making choices out of kindness, its answer to restraining humanity may not be as right as it thought, and it will therefore concede to Haru -- especially since Haru decides to take an even more unexpected “third option” to find a way out and save Yuujin via AI research. As Haru says later in the episode: humans have a “surprising” side to them, and perhaps not everything is as cut-and-dry as Leviathan thinks.

It’s also significant that Yuujin’s “sacrifice” is actually completely meaningless in terms of practical effects. Haru was already going to pick “yes” anyway; the outcome would have been the same. But by taking over at the last minute and doing it for him, Yuujin was able to make a “choice” -- one that neither Leviathan (who doesn’t want to die) nor Haru (who’s mortified seeing him do this) asked of him.

When you think about it, Yuujin’s in a really horrible position right now, learning that his entire life and existence is a lie and that he’d have to be sacrificed to save the world at Haru’s own hands, causing Haru immense pain -- but through all that and the existential crisis, he’s at least able to do one thing that is undeniably of his own will, and treasure the fact that there was meaning in his life despite everything.

In the end, despite what YJ-14 had said back in episode 47, Oozora Yuujin was a “real” person who made his own personal choices, and his last one was one made out of kindness, simply to spare Haru more pain. Hence, why “getting Yuujin back” via methods of artificial intelligence isn’t something Haru minds doing, because, again, it’s not like Yuujin was ever less of a friend to him no matter what he was made up of, no less so than the Appmon, especially since (as Haru points out in the end) Yuujin technically predated all of them in befriending humans.

Funny thing about YJ-14 in episode 47, actually: YJ-14 uses “crying” as an example to gaslight Haru into believing that all of Yuujin’s emotional reactions were fake, since he can cry if it’ll evoke a positive reaction out of Haru. Except it’s cleaned up in absurdly quick order -- and with what we later see of YJ-14′s uncanny ability to “take Yuujin’s personality on and off”, it’s not like it’s portrayed as having all of these functions employed in an involuntary manner. We do learn one episode later, however, that sufficient reminders of Haru’s importance to him will allow Yuujin’s personality to break through at inconvenient times for YJ-14 -- and this “crying” happened right after Haru had an emotional meltdown and appealed to Yuujin’s feelings.

Was it really an involuntary function or a deliberate demonstration of how Haru was being manipulated...or, perhaps, was YJ-14 in less control of its supposed “rote emotional invocation functions” than it thought?

#digimon #appmon #digimon universe appli monsters #shihameta

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cozy-the-overlord · 3 years

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Dances and Daggers

Summary: The Summer Festival is upon Asgard, as is the tradition of the dagger ceremony, where each unmarried gentleman chooses a lady to bestow with the honor of carrying his dagger for the night. As Prince Thor’s betrothed, Teki’s only goal is to accept his dagger with grace and hope that her violent stepfather doesn’t find fault with her in the process. But Prince Thor is unpredictable, and when he ignores his engagement on a whim Teki finds herself in a desperate situation. Luckily, Thor isn’t the only prince in Asgard…

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 7: The Gatekeeper

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Word Count: 2,044

Chapter Summary: A trip across the Rainbow Bridge seems in order.

Thanks for reading! :)

TW: mentions of child abuse

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae

if you want to be tagged, just send me an ask! :)

Read it on Ao3!

“It doesn’t mention anything about him leaving at all?”

Teki shook her head. “No, nothing.”

She and the prince were huddled in one of the back tables of the library, flipping through the pages of her father’s journal in search of some kind of clue. Teki had wondered if Loki would even be interested in continuing to help her—her life was such a mess, she didn’t see why anyone would want to willingly jump in—but he seemed just as eager to find her father as she was.

Although, neither of them had any idea as to where to start.

Loki had suggested beginning with the journal, since that was their main lead. “If he wrote in it every day, then he probably mentioned something about leaving, right?” he asked. “That couldn’t have been a decision he took lightly.”

Teki thought so as well, but the more she looked, the more it appeared that her father had done nothing of the sort. When he wasn’t writing ballads, it seemed the only thing he wrote about was her.

Teki and I went into town today to watch the parade. She was ecstatic—especially fascinated by the violinists. She’s been dancing around the room, pretending to play violin all night long. She says that she wants to learn, and I have half a mind to start teaching her. After all, she’s picked up the piano like it was nothing. Such a musical heart—I’m so proud of her.

Seeing her name—her nickname, that is—written in her father’s handwriting took her back to the letter he had left behind, the one that dissolved his marriage and rejected her as his daughter.

My dear Tekla…

That letter had been in the box too, along with several other letters he had exchanged with her mother before they were married. Rereading it for the first time since he had left, Teki was once again struck with the belief that there was something dubious about her father’s message. The whole thing was so stilted, so emotionless. It felt… it felt scripted. As if his hand was only transcribing another’s words.

And he called her Tekla.

Next to her, Loki sat straight up. “Why, we don’t have to look through all this!” he cried. “I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of this before!”

She frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Heimdall!” Loki stood, grinning. “He sees everyone in the universe. We can just ask him where your father is.”

Teki’s heart stuttered. The Gatekeeper stood at the edge of the Bifrost, eyes that protected Asgard from the threats that lurked beyond. Asking him to check for her father seemed… disrespectful. “Are we—are we allowed to do that?”

The prince laughed. “Why wouldn’t we be?” He pulled her to her feet. “Come on, let’s go!”

“I—now?”

“Why not?” He hesitated. “Unless—if you’d prefer, I could just—”

“No.” Teki inhaled. Loki was right. This could be the best way to find her father. It was time she got over her fear of … everything. She took his hand. “Let’s go.”

…

They rode out to the Rainbow Bridge together on Loki’s horse. It was… a bit odd, to be sharing the reins with someone, but Teki didn’t have her own horse and wasn’t keen to wait for the stable hands to pick one out for her. It wouldn’t have even mattered anyways, because they didn’t have any sidesaddles on hand, and Teki knew that in the time it would have taken her to change into slacks, she would have talked herself out of going at all. Instead, she found herself perched awkwardly in the front of Loki’s nightmare black mare, Brynja.

“You—you can still see, right?” she asked as Loki shifted in the saddle behind her.

He hummed in affirmation. “Um—I think—” his hand fluttered stiffly at her waste. “Would it be alright if I—if I held on to you?” Teki twisted around to see his cheeks were bright pink. It reminded her of the night of his Nameday Feast, when she had to ask him to lace her dress up, and her face flushed as well.

Loki coughed. “Just so you don’t fall off,” he added quickly. “Apologies, it’s just that I’ve never ridden like this, and—”

“No, it’s fine,” she interrupted quietly. “You can… hold on to me.” For a moment, Loki didn’t move. Then, very slowly, he brought his arm to rest across her stomach, holding her to his torso. Teki forgot how to breathe.

“Ready?” he whispered, the little puff of breath ticking her hair. She giggled, nodding. With a click of his tongue, Loki spurred the horse forward. Teki was soon grateful for his arm at her waist, because she was certain that without it, she would’ve gone flying when they shot forward like a cannonball.

“Oh!”

She had never ridden across the Bifrost before. Teki could only cling to Brynja’s mane and try not to scream as colors whizzed across her vision, speeding high above the rolling waves of the Asgardian ocean. Loki shouted something, but she couldn’t hear him above the wind roaring in her ears.

By the time they had reached Himinbjorg, she was panting as if she had been the one racing for miles. Loki laughed.

“Have you never galloped before?”

She bristled. “I’ve galloped.” But riding horseback had never been one of Teki’s favorite hobbies, and she felt Loki could tell.

Smiling, he jumped to the ground, helping her slide down as well and offering her his arm. “Let’s go.”

She took it haltingly. “We—we just go in?” she asked. “Don’t we have to… announce ourselves?”

Loki laughed again. “He sees everything! He already knows we’re here.”

“Wait.” Teki froze. “Everything? He sees everything? Even—” Even Osvald?

For a moment, the prince seemed confused, but realization flashed across his face.

“Yes, but Heimdall doesn’t interfere with what he sees, not unless there’s significant threat to Asgard,” he reassured her. Something dark passed across his face. “Not even when he should.”

Teki swallowed. Loki had so far honored his promise to keep what he knew of her family’s dynamic to himself, but he made no secret of the fact that he thought she should tell some higher authority. He was convinced that Osvald could be stopped by someone like his mother. Teki wished she shared his optimism.

Walking into Himinbjorg was like stepping into a whole other world. The spherical walls glowed with an archaic power that seemed to vibrate through her every fiber. The very air seemed to have a different taste, as if flavored by the intricacies of the cosmos. She needed no knowledge of the Bifrost to understand this was sacred ground.

In the middle of the room, a figure stood on the raised platform still as a statue, a golden silhouette cutting through the multicolored stains of the galactic skyline. The curved horns of his helmet glistened in the starlight, completely motionless as Teki and Loki entered.

The prince inhaled. “Good Heimdall,” he said. His voice had taken on a very grandiose tone, and Teki had to suppress the urge to laugh. “We wish to ask a favor—”

Heimdall turned, and the urge died almost instantly. The watcher of the worlds was an imposing form. His helmet cast his face in shadow as he stepped forward, his intricate golden armor echoing the design of the hilt of the giant sword he clutched in his hands. But it was his eyes that sent shivers down her spine. His deep orange irises bored deep into soul, as if he was seeing things about her that she didn’t even know herself. She quickly dropped her eyes to the ground.

When he spoke, it was in a deep baritone that boasted of ancient wisdom. “I know why you’re here.” Even when she wasn’t looking, she felt the weight of his stare. “Lady Tekla. I cannot give you that for which you search.”

“We only wish to know the whereabouts of her father.” Loki interjected. “Steinn—” he looked to Teki questioningly.

“Kjellson,” she whispered. “Steinn Kjellson.” She pulled her gaze from the metal floor, forcing herself to meet his piercing eyes. “Do—do you know where he is?”

He was still looking at her, studying her intently as if she were a piece in an art display. Teki realized suddenly that he had not looked at Loki once since they arrived at Himinbjorg. She squirmed.

“I know of whom you speak,” he said finally. “But it is not my place to speak on the matter.”

“What do you mean?” Loki demanded, frowning. “Is your place not to serve Asgard, and her royal family?” He motioned towards Teki. “She is to be your Queen.”

Heimdall’s gaze didn’t waver. “You’re not asking the right question,” he said directly to her.

“I—what?” What right question? Flickers of irritation began to burn at her nerves. “Can’t you see him?” she asked.

Heimdall only stared.

She scowled. “I haven’t seen my father in years!” she snapped. “Can you at least tell me if he’s safe?”

“You’re not asking the right question,” he repeated.

With a huff, she turned to Loki. “This is a waste of time. He’s not helping us.” The prince nodded, glaring at Heimdall.

“It’s time we left,” he agreed. He held her hand as they stormed out of the building together.

Even as Loki helped her back on to Brynja’s back, Teki felt the gatekeeper’s gaze entrapping her in its scope. She turned around to find that Heimdall had not budged an inch from where they left him, orange eyes piercing hers. She balked.

You’re not asking the right question.

But what other question was there to ask? All she wanted to know was where her father had went. What other way could she ask that? Teki glowered as Loki pulled himself into the saddle.

“I’m sorry Teki,” he was saying. “I really thought he could help.”

“You were right,” she mumbled bitterly. “He could help. He just didn’t.”

Loki sighed, urging Brynja forward, but not too fast yet. “We’ll have to try something else,” he mused. “You said your father used to work as a court musician?”

“Yes. He quit when he married my mother.” Teki pulled at her sash. When she was little, she had always imagined what it would be like to be the daughter of a court musician, what it would be like to not have to worry about curtseys or tea time, to spend her days helping her father prepare for his performances. She had always felt he wished he hadn’t had to leave the musical troop, picked up on the longing even though he did his best to mask it.

“It’s a good thing I’m not in the troop anymore,” he had joked wistfully with her once, after she had finished playing one of his piano pieces without sheet music for the first time. “You’d have me right out of a job!”

Back in the present, Loki seemed to be engrossed in some idea. “Do you know any of his fellow players?” he asked.

Teki frowned. “No. By the time I was born he wasn’t involved with them anymore.” She turned around to face the prince. “Why?”

His face was scrunched up in thought. “Well, maybe they know something,” he said. “If they were close enough, they may have some idea as to where he went. We can check the court records, figure out who was with him when he was working.”

She cocked her head to the side. “You know, there might be something there.” The bitterness in her throat from their visit with Heimdall begin to melt away. She smiled shyly at the prince. “Thank you.”

Loki let out an embarrassed chuckle. “For what?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Everything. Helping me.” Her cheeks were burning. Why was she always such a failure when it came to speaking?

But Loki didn’t seem to mind. “Of course.” He leaned forward to wrap his arm around her waist once more. “Are you ready to go?”

She nodded, unable to hold in her squeal as they shot out once more across the Rainbow Bridge.

#dances and daggers #loki x ofc #loki marvel #loki fanfic #dances and daggers chapter 7 #the gatekeeper #cozy writes

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atomicblasphemy · 3 years

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Chamomile {Part VI}

Eda and Amity share a cup of tea

“Well, be my guest. You technically already are my guest, but… Anyway, whenever you’re ready.”

“Right. As I said, mother does it herself, she doesn’t call for a servant to do it, or a professional. No, that’s our little mother and daughter time, as she calls it. And she always goes on and on about how nice I look next to my siblings when we all have the same color afterwards. Looking like a Blight, she says. She’s there messing with my hair and she won’t even say a word, not a single word. We both just stay there silent as she goes through the motions. Have you ever done it? Have you ever dyed your hair? The first thing you’re supposed to do is bleach it, that’s important. Especially if you are going to put a light tone like this. I never really got it, her hair is a darker shade than this, Ed and Em’s too. But she always went for this light green. You’d think she’d make father dye his hair to, but its actually more like she forbids him from that. Anyway. To be fair, I actually prefer this over their tone. Anyway, I once asked Lilith, back when she was still my mentor, if your scalp was supposed to itch after you bleach it. She said it never happened to her. That was the end of it. But I guess it kind of changes with time, either that or I’ve gotten better at controlling the itch. After mother is done and the dye dries she will always shower me with compliments, the name Blight thrown every other sentence. She’ll keep this up for like a couple of days, give or take. Then, when it starts to fade or it just generally becomes old news, then its back to the cold shoulders. When the brown roots start to ‘spoil the look’, as she puts it, she’ll make sure not to let me forget it. The word Blight completely absent from her mouth when it comes to me. That will go on until our next mother and daughter time. Then she’ll call me a Blight again. Until then I’m hardly Amity anymore. She’ll do this kind of treatment with Ed and Em sometimes too. But their hair is naturally green, and they are better than me at avoiding giving reason to it, I guess. I used to think that it was favoritism or something like that. We talked, the three of us, I don’t think that, not anymore. Luz told you about that library fiasco, didn’t she?”

“Yup, she did.”

“So, what prompted that was the… let’s call it the broken vase mystery. A porcelain vase, I thought it was something passed down from generations, some sort of Blight heirloom. Nope, she bought it the week before. Those things all look the same, to be honest. Pretending to be ancient and more valuable than they actually are, way too needlessly intricate for you to actually appreciate the details. Honestly, I don’t even think there is something to be appreciated in things like that, once glance and you’ll get all that it has to offer. In any case, one morning the thing is on the floor, completely shattered. Obviously, we were the three main suspects. Well… those two didn’t accuse me. But they didn’t exactly took responsibility either, and I knew for a fact Ed snucked out the night before and Em was covering for him. Some accident must have happened in the process and the vase was the victim. As I said, they didn’t take responsibility. So we all got grounded. I was livid. Three weeks, with another one of probation.”

“Probation? Seriously? Your parents gave you all a rap sheet?”

“I… I know… It really is worse than it sounds. Anyway, two weeks in, I storm into father’s office and tell him everything I knew.”

“Snitch.” Eda snickered.

“I’m not proud of that, but in the end I guess it was for the best, really. They were proud, apparently, of what did, and the amount of evidence I had to support my innocence. So I was back to being a Blight. Ed and Em weren’t anymore, not until their sentences were done with, that is. They got two months added to it, eleven weeks in total, with the possibility of appeal after the sixth week, not counting the first sentence. Mother and father said: obstruction of justice is a serious charge. Technically they are still serving it. But they are veterans, they know their ways around surveillance and all that, why do you think they chose to go to the illusions track? So yeah, it was their turn to be mad. Their plan was to leak my diary on school, to make me lighten up somehow, not take things too seriously, whatever that means. Well… Luz probably told you how that went down. Now we can see eye to eye though, because of that, because of what Luz told them that night. It was a shock to them, I think. The three of us talked that night, we talked a lot that night. Turns out we all truly are those two’s children. Turns out their stories weren’t that different from mine. They just knew better than me how to do stuff in a way those two wouldn’t notice. The impossible even happened that night. They apologized, and something even more unlikely: I forgave them. We felt like family for the first time in… ever, I guess. It was the first time the words mittens didn’t sound just like mockery. One of the things they told me, about the hair, was that they would do that sort of stuff with them, both mother and father. It was with extra-credits though: Ed wanted ballet, Em wanted wrestling. Ed took up wrestling, Em took up ballet. They lucked out, they could teach each other in the wee hours. There was other stuff too, but that’s what I can remember off the top of my head.”

“Amity, your siblings sound lovely, and they seemed really nice when they came here the other day, and that day at the knee. But I don’t see how this has anything to do with your hair.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure myself. But… I think what I’m trying to say is that our parents are building us, and they are very specific about every single detail. Little miss perfect. Now that I think of it that nickname fits like a glove. The three of us really. Perfection was always the lowest bar acceptable to all three of us. No diversions, only perfection, only then we would be worthy of the Blight name. We didn’t ever really know what that perfection word meant, only mother and father could tell. And, well. My hair… It just so happens that this was the biggest flaw, the biggest and most glaring imperfection.”

Amity lifted her hand, she didn’t tuck in an lose strands of green this time. She just pointed her finger at the creeping light shade of brown. The line between kin and strangers laid so blurred.

“You were born with that, they are the ones who gave it to you. Is this how you see it? I mean, that, on your roots. That looks a lot like Al’s color, from what I remember. Is this the word you would describe it with?”

“Of course not, but it isn’t like that ever mattered. And yes, I did get my hair from him. But then again, he took up the name, not the other way around. He is the outsider, mother doesn’t say that out loud, but I’m sure that’s how she feels. You know, I think there are days they don’t even see each other. With all that you told me about them, he sounded so eager to take up the name. You said he was ambitious, right? Anyway. Dying my hair now, after all we talked about tonight, it just sounds like her way of showing me how thin the blightness sheet of ice I always stood on has been all along. I have at least that in common with father, I suppose, this kinship, if nothing else. I actually think that’s why I decided to follow his path with the abominations, even if I wouldn’t put in these words back then the way I’m doing right now. But then again, I guess that if dying my hair is what I need to do in order to be a Blight, I always thought that’d be worth it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, he’s the outsider, I’m not a Blight all the time. It felt right to follow his track. At least that’s what I thought. I always thought I looked more like him than her. I suppose she would agree.”

“I’m not so sure about that. You have his hair, his eyes. But I also see a lot of Odalia in you. Yup. You really are your mother’s daughter. Physical appearance and personality alike.”

“Wha-What do you mean by that?”

“I mean what I mean, and we both know you are clever enough to know what that is. I mean that at end of the day, you are still a member of the Blight family. There’s no changing that, at least not yet.”

“Really? I… thought I was managing to change any bad first impressions gave you, but...”

“But you did. Look at me, Amity. You did. And I don’t just mean that because of tonight. Honestly, I’ve have a hunch you were not a bad person since that day at the knee. Your siblings too actually. But that doesn’t mean you’re good either, but you have all the time you need to walk down that particular rocky road. You and I both know what your parents are like, what they are capable of. But the fact of the matter is, this is who you are, for now. You were raised by Odalia and Alador. And for good or for worse, mostly worse, they are a big part of who you are right now. You are a Blight. But, I’ve seen with my own eyes you take first few steps to go past the Blight. This is why I’m being so insistent on telling you that you absolutely need to make amends with Willow. As a matter of fact, I believe you should apologize for trying to murder Hooty, and bake King a few indemnisation cupcakes. I mean, you’ll probably be visiting more often so it would be better for you to change the bad first impression you did give the two of them. Trust me. Anyway, getting off track. Let’s make a little mental experiment. Shouldn’t be too hard for you, but imagine you marry Luz and become a Noceda. Hey, Hey, Hey. Focus, Amity. This is important, get your feet back on the ground. Now, sure, you’d not have people calling you Blight anymore, but that part of your past would still be there. That won’t just disappear with the name. The name on its own means nothing, but the past associated with it means everything. You have to choose, really choose not to be a Blight anymore. Assuming that’s even possible, that is. At the very least you can more Amity than Blight though. Really fixing things with Willow, making sure you’ll never do anything even remotely like that, willingly becoming a better person. Moving over being a Blight passes through all that for you, it won’t just come out of nothing. It depends on you. Tell me, if I were to give you a room in this house, tell you don’t need to go back to the manor ever again, would you dye your hair back to its natural color?”

Amity’s eyes grew wide. Eda’s grew morose.

“Would you really?”

This had little to do with Luz. Amity and Eda both knew it.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I really am. But I can’t do that, this is just a hypothetical scenario. Honestly, when I saw that you and Luz were becoming friends I just knew you couldn’t be like Odalia and Alador, that you weren’t too far gone yet. That you at the very least were trying to be a good person… Well, I started running some scenarios in my head. Contingency plans, if you will. Should push come to shove, I could try and act on it. That was when I still had my magic. But even then, I don’t think it would work out. Petty theft, wild magic, that’s one thing. Abducting a kid, a blue blood at that… That’s something entirely different. All those scenarios ended with you getting sent off to one of those boarding schools they have at the left shoulder. And you need to keep it in mind, Luz is not from this realm. If she ever decides and manages to go back to her home neither of us will have any right to fault her, to try to stop her. If that happens, odds are you’ll never see her again. And I doubt you would like that, would you?”

“No… No, I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah… But hey, for what it counts. You and your siblings are welcome here anytime. And I do mean anytime, if you come knocking at four in the morning the doors will be open for you, and a cup of chamomile ready to go. And if you really need it, if you’re really fearing for your safety or something like that, at least I can promise you to put up a hell of a fight. Your father won’t be seeing my back this time around. And I’ll even drag Lily into it. I can also try to help you plan to leave that place as soon as possible. Beyond that... I’m really sorry, Amity, but my hands are tied.”

“I… That’s ok… Thank you… Really.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She didn’t meet Amity’s eyes. Trying to put up a front, she continued.

“Now, moving on. Who is this brown haired girl you seem to like so much?”

“She’s… a lot like Luz, or the Luz I see at least… Or maybe just like what I remember from when I was still friends with Willow. I don’t know which one, maybe she’s both, probably someone else entirely. I don’t know who she is, I never met her. But I think about her a lot. I like her more than this green haired Blight girl. I think… I think that’s all I can tell you about her. Its like you said, at the end of the day, she’ll be a Blight and there’s I can do about it.”

“I’ve never said that.”

“What?”

“I’ve never said that. All I said is that you are a Blight, and that you have time on your side. That’s not the same as saying that that’s all you’ll ever be. Didn’t Luz show you proof that what you’re saying just isn’t true? But yeah… This girl you just described, I don’t know if she will ever exist. Because even if you don’t think so, to me it sounds like she never really was a Blight, she never had to make the choices a Blight needs to make on a daily basis. In this sense she really is a lot like Luz. I’m not discouraging you from trying to be her though. She sounds lovely. She really does. You should aim for her, in my opinion. But don’t expect to become her. If anything, I can picture an Amity with brown hair and green roots.”

“What if I chose wrong?”

“Aren’t you used to it by now?”

“Ouch, you really are brutal, aren’t you?”

“Heh, sorry. But I mean it. Aren’t you? Wouldn’t you do exactly what you’ve been doing? Try and fix it?”

“I guess.”

“So, what’s stopping from asking Luz out? A proper date, that is.”

“Because if rejects me, she’ll be rejecting both my brown and my green hair. I can take it if she rejects the green... The other one… that’s a different story.”

“Ahh… Finally.”

Eda smiled as she saw her goals accomplished, Amity couldn’t help but to do the same. Her hair, falling over her face didn’t call for the same hiding anymore, however. Eda just looked at her, their different eyes sharing the familiarity absent before. She felt though she had, in a sense, just been defeated. For someone as competitive as her that should be a terrible emotion, but with a chuckle Amity continued.

“Heh… I’ve actually been postponing mother and daughter time, letting my natural color show, on purpose. I was doing that even before Luz showed up, but as the feelings grew, my feelings, no one else’s, it was only more reason for me not to want it dyed. Mother has been relentless about it. But I’m liking the way it is now. I don’t think its perfect. But maybe its better this way. I didn’t want Luz to know me just with this green, if she rejects me now, she’ll be reject both the colors. But yeah… Looks like you cracked me, finally.”

“Maybe it is. Look, Amity. I’m not telling you to go for it. You are wanting to ask my daughter out after all, and I shouldn’t get more involved than I already am. So all I’m going to say is just my own personal opinion. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a good kid. I didn’t ask all of that because I’m vetting you or anything like that. Well, not only that at least. But the main thing for me is that I just can’t bare to watch someone who has so many possible roads ahead stick to one she didn’t even choose herself, not after I learned how to be a mother. Not since Luz taught me that. And if this fear of her rejecting the same parts of you that your family rejected is what’s keeping you from acting on what you really want. Well, that just doesn’t seem fair to me. And you never know. I mean, I don’t think Luz ever had someone confessing their feelings to her, odds are her standards aren’t really all that high. I don’t know why she’d say no.”

Amity laughed, she had just been insulted but she just laughed. She should have been mortified, but she just laughed. Eda had once more made her laugh at herself. She felt vulnerable, as vulnerable as the sleeping Luz upstairs, but as long as she was in this home she felt as though no harm would ever come to her. She couldn’t explain this feeling, nor could she find it in her to avoid it.

“Well, that’s a pretty harsh way of putting it.”

Chuckling, Eda responds.

“You’re welcome. But you know, there’s another reason why I’m saying that. Remember that story I told you? That one about me, my sister, your parents. Well, I see a bit of everyone there in you. You have this strange shrewdness, bordering on cruelty sometimes. That’s Odalia’s. You have something about the way you talk, the way you carry yourself, even this mostly unvoiced self-depreciation. Alador was a lot like that when we were kids. You are gullible, you can just go with the motions set by others, like my sister. But you don’t want that, you want something else, you are taking your time sorting things out. That’s what I see of myself in you. But you know in who I don’t see anything of anyone in that story? Luz. She’s not exactly trying to replace her reality with a better one. Granted, I don’t know exactly why she chose to stay here and not go back to her world, I suspect there was something very much amiss in her life there. But whenever she talks about that place its not really with resentment. At least that’s how it feels like to me. She really is the wild card. If she had been there when all of that was happening, even if in the sidelines, most likely the stories of the four of us have been a lot different. What I’m trying to say is that all you have for trying to predict how she’d respond is the way she’s treated you so far. I’ll let you sleep on that. But for what it counts, and I’ll cut your tongue if you ever tell her I said this, I’m rooting for you. She deserves someone who cares about her. And tonight you convinced me that’s the case with you, you hit the last nail on that question.”

“You really think so?”

“I do, Amity. I do… Look, as far as I’m concerned, you, Willow, Gus. You’re all part of the Owl family, now. You care about Luz, she cares about the lot of you, that’s really all I could ask for. By the way, wednesday is Monopoly night.

“Monopoly?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Its this game she found in the human garbage the other day. Kinda boring if you ask me. Just a heads up” Her expression suddenly grew dark. “Luz can get… Pretty intense… Now...”

Standing up, Eda left out a yawn, a clearly forced one, a hand covering her mouth, the other thrown way behind her back as if stretching. Of Eda’s many talents, acting was not one. Placing a hand on Amity’s shoulder again, she proceeds.

“Its pretty late. And Luz wouldn’t stop going on and on about her plans for the two of you. You’ll need some sleep, trust me. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. You can just leave those teacups there, I still have some reading to catch up to. I’ll wash it before I go to bed. Good night, kid.”

#ten #the owl house #edalyn clawthorne #luz noceda #amity blight

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bloodpacks-archive · 4 years

Text

false god

word count: 5.7 babey

summary: it’s fuckin chandrila!reader x obi-wan kenobi bro idk she’s poltically charged and ready to fight and I love her and so does obi-wan let’s go

warnings/note: none. idk. politics. but. star wars. but also lowkey me ranting abt how i hate america. u can choose to interpret it that way or not. i do not care. it is 2 AM as i’m writing this. there’s not even violence. so my advice is to just enjoy it. also. u know what. i would die if obi-wan did to me what his does to padme in this gif. so enjoy that too. also i should learn how to make those header shits for fics i am tired of this layout. ALSO please send me prompts to write more abt these two i love them and will probably write shit abt them no matter what so. anyway im going to bed ENJOY

The sun just barely shines through the clouds on Chandrila. The air is cold, biting at Obi-Wan’s skin a bit more than it had on Coruscant. From beside him, Anakin pulls his jacket tighter around himself. Even five years after Tatooine, he still struggled in the cold. But as they walk through the streets of the lower sector on their new assignment, Obi-Wan can’t help but smile at the way his padawan crosses his arms.

“Cold?” He asks Anakin, not letting his eyes break from the path ahead of him. He hears Anakin let out a sigh beside him.

“I’ll be fine, Master,” He replies. Obi-Wan glances over at him for just a moment, eyebrows furrowed as he looks over him.

“I’m sure we’ll find a place to stay soon.” He brings a hand and places it on Anakin’s shoulder, for just a moment. He shivers at the touch, and Obi-Wan decides to walk a little faster.

They’re here under strict orders to gather intel on the lower sectors, both of them out of their usual, warmer robes and in outfits a bit more fitting to the area. Obi-Wan scans the city as he walks, making note of the towering buildings, the signs that hang out into the street, colorful and a bit too bright for his own liking. He catches sight of a market up ahead, and quickly guides Anakin forward. It’s lively there, large groups of people passing between each other and surrounding various vendors.

As he gets closer, Obi-Wan quickly realizes that what he once believed to be a place where he could find shelter is rather a place of chaos. He can barely see over the heads of the crowds, and trying to catch the words on any signs is proving difficult. Anakin pulls him forward, slowly making their way out of the middle of the crowd and into less dense areas. Still, both their eyes wander about the market. Obi-Wan considers for just a moment if he should ask someone for help.

“Are you lost?” They both turn, coming face to face with a girl. She has a hood on, but her eyes are still visible. There’s a softness to them, something he isn’t sure he could explain, but he feels… safe. Oddly enough, she seems safe. Concern flows off of her in waves, and he decides that they don’t particularly have much to lose. And if they do, well, there’s a lightsaber hidden on him anyway. They’ll find a way.

“We’re just looking for a place to stay,” Obi-Wan explains. He notices the way her eyes flit over to Anakin, who—despite being fourteen—still looks young for his age. Her lips purse for a moment, and then she brings her gaze back up to Obi-Wan.

“I can help you, if you’d like,” She replies. Her voice is soft, careful in every sense of the word. “We have some extra room back home.”

Obi-Wan pauses for a moment, but then he glances over at Anakin, who’s still pulling his jacket tighter around himself, and quickly agrees.

She guides them out of the market with ease. Obi-Wan makes note of the small pack hanging off her shoulders, wondering, if only for a moment, what might be in it. She moves her hood to hide a majority of her face as they walk, but he finds that when the sun hits it just right through the clouds, her silhouette becomes visible through the thin fabric. He absently wonders what the purpose of the thin hood could possibly be in this kind of cold.

As the crowd begins to dwindle, she slows her pace, coming to walk beside him and Anakin. She looks over at the two of them, and pulls her hood back slightly, allowing her hair to poke out around the edges. He can see her eyes again, and they still hold that same softness to them, something that screams a want to help others. He can’t quite place it.

They’re trustworthy, Obi-Wan thinks, as she glances between them.

“So are you two brothers then?” She asks. Before Obi-Wan can react, Anakin is already speaking, finally beginning to forget the cold.

“Yeah, something like that,” He says, and she smiles down at him, kind and welcoming in the way her lips quirk at his voice.

“We have a lot of that here,” She replies. Obi-Wan furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head at her only slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“You must be fairly new to the lower sectors.” She sighs, holding her gaze forward for a while before speaking again. “Lots of us were abandoned. It- It gets hard down here. When we get to the house you’ll see it. None of us are related by blood, necessarily, but we’re family.” She turns once again, her eyes flitting between Obi-Wan and Anakin. “I have to assume it was the same for you.”

They walk for a while longer, a silence settling between the three of them. Obi-Wan has a habit of checking up on Anakin every few seconds, and whenever he looks over, his eyes are flitting about the city. From the dirty, poorly maintained apartments down on their level, to the shiny speeders up above. Obi-Wan can’t help but feel that all of it is slightly unjust. Especially if what the girl says is true.

Abandonment, he thinks. Surely, no one would abandon someone to a life like this.

“I don’t believe I ever caught your names,” She says suddenly.

“Ben,” He replies.

“And you can just call me Ani,” Anakin says from next to him. Obi-Wan smiles at that, and Anakin earns a bit of laughter from the girl next to them.

“Ani and Ben, huh? I like that.” And she smiles, for the first time since meeting her. It’s polite in nature, not quite reaching her eyes, but Obi-Wan finds it pretty nevertheless.

He really has to shake himself out of thinking she’s pretty.

“And what’s your name?” Obi-Wan asks then.

She replies, with a lilt to her voice that makes him want to lean in closer. Her name is lovely. And he knows he isn’t supposed to have attachments, and he won’t. But he’s allowed to be a little curious, right? It’s not his fault that he has a habit of wondering.

Specifically, he’s wondering what her smile looks like when it does reach her eyes.

But he’s only wondering.

—————

They reach the apartment a few moments later. It’s a few floors above base level, and surprisingly well kept. He notices a twi’lek girl working at a desk in the corner, and there’s a boy who glances up from the datapad he’d been attentively scrolling through. His eyes flit between the three of them, and then he gets a bit of a breathless smile on his face.

“Now who’d you bring home today?” He asks, amusement mixing with his voice.

“Shut it, Luca,” She replies, and Obi-Wan almost expects her to roll her eyes before she breaks into soft laughter, throwing the nearest pillow at him. The boy—Luca, glares at her after he catches the pillow, just a few moments before it would’ve hit him square in the face. Obi-Wan has to hold back a smile.

“Anyway,” She begins, “This is Ben and Ani. They needed a place to stay.”

Luca turns to them, offering a small wave before he, finally, is able to focus on his datapad in peace. She makes her way over to the desk where the twi’lek is sitting, putting her arms on the girl’s shoulders and making her finally look up from whatever she was working on.

“And this is Le’Ana. She’s too busy working on her jewelry to pay attention to either of you.”

Le’Ana glances over at Obi-Wan and Anakin, giving a quiet wave before exchanging looks with the other girl. She rolls her eyes at Le’Ana, and something passes between them that Obi-Wan can’t quite understand.

“Hey, why don’t you give the kid my bed tonight? I can take the couch,” Le’Ana says. She’s playing with a piece of jewelry, letting it twist in her hands.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. We really don’t want to intrude-“ Anakin starts, but then she stands in front of them, hands on her hips while she shakes her head.

“We’re the ones who brought you here. You’re not intruding by any means,” She replies. She places a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, and he smiles up at her, silently giving her his thanks. And then she turns to Obi-Wan, soft smile on her face.

“It’s getting late. You should both head to bed.” She glances over at Anakin once more, laughing slightly at how his eyes are half-closed, sleep pulling at him. “Le’Ana’s room is just down the hall. There’s two beds in there for you.”

“Thank you for everything,” Obi-Wan replies. She simply smiles at him, before turning to speak with Luca.

The room is small—not much bigger than anything either of them would’ve slept in while on a ship—but it’s certainly got a personality to it. Pieces of jewelry hang off of hooks in one of the corners, each one intricately made. Anakin walks over to inspect the pieces, curiosity alight in his expression.

“Don’t touch, Anakin.”

“I know, Master, I won’t.” He turns, offering Obi-Wan an innocent look. He rolls his eyes at Anakin as he takes off his robe, folding it neatly to store in the space beneath the bed.

“You’re tired, Anakin. You should sleep, we have a lot of work ahead of us.”

He simply nods in response, shedding his robe and taking off his boots before settling into the bed across from Obi-Wan’s.

“Master, what is it, exactly, that we’re looking for?”

Obi-Wan lowers his voice, leaning in closer to Anakin as he speaks, “There’ve been talks of Separatist cells down on these lower levels. We’re simply gathering intel, running an investigation of sorts, and then leaving.”

Anakin nods, his eyebrows slightly furrowed together, but he drops it, moving to finally lay down in his bed. Obi-Wan does the same, letting his eyes fall shut.

—————

Obi-Wan can’t sleep. Anakin is soundly asleep beside him, chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm. Obi-Wan sits up, stretching his back and his neck, before grabbing his robe and padding outside and into the hallway, shutting the door quietly behind him. He shrugs on his robe, pulling it tightly around him. The air had grown colder as the night came, and a draft found its way into the apartment.

As he comes to the main room, he sees Le’Ana, fast asleep on the couch with a blanket wrapped tightly around her. He smiles. She looks peaceful.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Obi-Wan turns, and sees her sitting on the counter. Obi-Wan makes a concerned face as he glances in Le’Ana’s direction. “She’s fine. She sleeps through anything.”

Obi-Wan moves towards her, watching as she swings her feet over the edge of the counter she’s chosen to sit on. She’s without her hood this time, instead donning some loose-fitting pants and a t-shirt, a blanket draped around her shoulders. A mug of caf rests in her hands, and she moves as he approaches, grabbing a mug and pouring some of the extra caf she brewed into it. She hands it to Obi-Wan and he gladly takes it, letting the mug warm his hands.

“I guess you couldn’t sleep either?” Obi-Wan leans against the counter next to her, taking a sip from his mug.

“Never can,” She sighs. He glances up, eyes flitting across her face. She looks tired, but then she catches his eye and gives him another smile. “Wanna go for a walk?”

And he only nods, stepping away to allow her to get off the counter, both of them leaving their mugs behind. She trades the blanket around her shoulders for a long coat, and offers Obi-Wan one as well. He gladly takes it, wrapping it around himself as she leads him out into the city.

The moons are surprisingly bright despite the city lights. They shine onto the pathways, giving the city a pretty glow.

“I used to take walks like these a lot when I was younger,” She says. Obi-Wan stays quiet, watching her as she speaks. “I used to live farther into the outer reaches of Hanna City. Back then, I could walk for maybe two klicks and be out on the hills by the rivers.”

“Do you miss it?” He asks. She lets a breath of laughter pass her lips.

“More than you’d know. When I first moved here I would make the walk anyway but,” She pauses, sighing, “Hanna City isn’t what it used to be.”

A speeder passes over their heads, the soft whoosh causing them both to glance up.

“How has the city changed?” Obi-Wan asks. He notices the way her eyebrows furrow, the way her gaze falls to the ground. He silently hopes he hasn’t struck a nerve.

“Do you want to go out to the hills? We can talk there.”

And so they do. It takes them nearly 45 minutes to get to the outskirts of the city, and another 20 to get to the hills, but the moons are still bright, and the further they walk, the brighter the stars become. Eventually, they come to a point where the river is low, and they can sit on the grass nearby while still listening to the soft flow of water.

Obi-Wan looks over to her, and sees her staring back at the city, the lights softly reflecting in her eyes. They flutter shut for a moment, and she takes a breath.

“I used to think Hanna City was as perfect as any place could be,” She whispers.

“What changed?”

“I started listening. When I was younger, everywhere you turned there was a message saying you can be who you want to be. I believed that. For a very long time, I believed that Chandrila was the place where you could be anyone.”

She moves her gaze to her feet, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear before she lays her arms over her knees, lightly resting her chin there.

“I want to believe it, I really do but-“ her eyes close, “-I’ve seen so much, Ben.”

Obi-Wan, quietly, cautiously, raises his hand to her shoulder. She leans into his touch, letting him slowly rub his thumb back and forth across the cloth there.

“And now there’s separatist groups down here and while I don’t know if I agree with the Separatists,” She pauses, her eyes meeting Obi-Wan’s, “I understand their reasons for supporting them.”

“I didn’t know there was much conflict on Chandrila,” Obi-Wan says.

“There never used to be. But we were all told from a young age that this was the world of opportunity. Now we’re grown up and- and we can’t find jobs, or proper housing, or anything, really. Le’Ana, Luca, and I, we’re lucky. Le’Ana’s managed to make quite a bit from her jewelry from time to time, and Luca’s been able to fix up droids for an alright living.”

“I have to assume that’s not how it’s been for everyone,” Obi-Wan replied. She sighs again, and then brings her eyes up to meet his. They’re worn, but caring nevertheless.

“Certainly not. I mean, even for me, I’m between jobs at the moment, to say the least.”

A beat of silence passes between them before she smiles up at him, moonlight dancing across her cheeks, and turns to fully face him, legs criss-crossed and chin resting in one of her palms.

“But that’s enough about me. What’s your story, Ben?” His false name falls past her lips with a playfulness he could certainly come to enjoy. He laughs, leaning back a bit as he wraps an arm around one knee.

“I’m afraid there’s not much of a story to tell,” He answers. She rolls her eyes at him, leaning forward to push his shoulder back while he laughs at her.

“There’s always a story to tell.” She tilts her head at him, narrowing her eyes playfully as she thinks of a question to ask. “Where are you from?”

“I don’t know my home planet, but I was raised on Coruscant,” He answers, truthfully. There’s a bit of wonder in her expression at the mention of Coruscant, and he lets his lips quirk up in a smile.

“Is it really as nice there as everyone says?” She asks.

“It has its problems, just like Chandrila, but I did love it there.”

“So why’d you leave?”

“I had business elsewhere.”

She rolls her eyes again. “You’re being elusive.”

“I told you there’s not much of a story,” Obi-Wan explains.

“Or perhaps you’re hiding something from me.” She leans in close, he can see the way her eyes flicker across his face, the way the moonlight illuminates every aspect of her. He’s exceptionally curious.

“Now why would I do that?” He replies. A smile tugs at his lips. And then she laughs, softly, letting her head fall towards his chest. Her fatigue is getting to her, he can tell. But then she sits back again, and then she lays down, her fingers playing with a blade of grass above her head as she looks up at the stars.

“Well then,” She begins, her eyes flit over to him, “if you don’t have a story, what do you wish it was?”

Obi-Wan thinks for a moment, of Qui-Gon, of him training Anakin. He thinks of the rules of the Jedi. He can’t help but admit that, on occasion, he wishes the rules were a little more… lenient. But most of all, he wishes there to be no threat to the galaxy. He wishes for the Jedi to be peacekeepers and simply that. He wishes there were no Sith, that he hadn’t killed the first Sith in centuries. He wishes he still had Qui-Gon’s wisdom, however turbulent he may have been at times.

“I wish it was happier,” He replies, finally.

Her hand, the one that was playing with the blade of grass, moves then, instead going to wrap her fingers around his. A gesture of comfort. Her eyes meet his, and there’s a soft smile upon her face.

“Me too,” She whispers.

The sky is slowly becoming brighter in front of them, so she rises, pulling Obi-Wan up with her.

“We should head back, before Ani thinks you got kidnapped.”

“He’d live.”

She gives him a look, lightly hitting him on the shoulder as they begin their walk back.

“Hey,” She whispers after a few moments, “Thanks for walking with me. It’s been so long since I’ve been out here.”

“It was much better than staring at the ceiling until the sun rose.”

“Maybe,” She teases, “But we really should’ve brought our caf with us.”

Obi-Wan lets a breath of laughter pass his lips. He finds that his curiosity about her is continually growing. He can’t help it. The more she talks, the more he wants to listen, and the closer he wants to be. From what he’s seen, she’s calming, caring, lovely in every aspect. And she seems genuine.

He hates being curious.

—————

The next night, Obi-Wan awakens when the moons are still bright. Once again, he finds himself making his way to the main room, the moonlight guiding him through the halls. And there she is, perched on the counter amid the food items he’d bought (as a thank you) earlier that day, quietly sipping on her caf.

“Do you ever sleep?” He asks as he approaches. She just shrugs, already handing him a mug.

“There’s a lot to think about at night,” She replies. Obi-Wan takes his spot next to her, leaning on the counter as they quietly speak, attempting to not disturb Le’Ana.

“Like?”

“Oh, the state of Chandrila, how nobody’s doing anything about it, the lies I’ve been told since I was a child.” She waves her hand about as she talks, swaying with her words. “That sort of thing.”

“You seem to be very politically charged.”

She turns, “Are you not?”

“Oh trust me, I have my opinions.” They both pause, sipping on their caf and watching moonlight softly pool in from the window. “Have you ever considered running for an office?”

“Plenty,” She says. “But I think I’d rather work in the background. The forefront seems… too much for me.”

“Do you have any ideas?” Obi-Wan asks. She smiles at him, carefully hopping off the counter. She walks towards the hallway.

“C’mon,” She says. Obi-Wan hesitates, just for a moment. “I promise nothing’ll hurt you.” There’s a smirk on her lips as she motions him towards her room.

She grabs his wrist as they enter, just barely, her touch light and airy. Her fingertips brush his skin there and it draws Obi-Wan in.

She places a datapad on a desk, motioning at the chair for Obi-Wan to sit. He watches carefully as she works, pulling up some file. Hope, is its label.

“I think I’m most proud of this one,” She says. She sets the datapad in front of him, leaning over his shoulders.

And in front of him, there’s ideas for policies. All under one common theme, to make the dream of Chandrila a reality. For everyone. Better orphanage systems, job stimulation, efforts to make housing more affordable.

And then, no more forgotten children. An effort to take kids off the streets and into better environments. Providing them with schooling and the resources to further their education or find jobs, whichever they should prefer.

“This is…” Obi-Wan can’t even finish. Every policy has a specific plan, an idea on how to achieve the goals. They aren’t all perfect, but they’re something. They’re actions.

“I don’t want any more kids to go through what Le’Ana, Luca, or I did,” She whispers.

Obi-Wan turns, “How are you going to get this out there?”

She moves so she leans on the desk, looking down at Obi-Wan as she speaks.

“I have an interview tomorrow. It’s with a potential senator.”

Without even thinking, Obi-Wan grabs her hand.

“That’s,” Obi-Wan lets out a breath, “Amazing.”

She glances down at where their hands are, his lightly holding onto hers. Obi-Wan watches her, and consciously, he knows he should move his hand, knows that this is beyond improper and knows that this is wrong.

He doesn’t.

She moves her hand, moonlight dancing between their fingers, and intertwines them.

“I feel like I’ve known you for a thousand lifetimes,” She whispers. “You’re oddly easy to talk to you.”

Her soft laughter fills the room.

“It’s because I’m so charming,” Obi-Wan replies. She rolls her eyes, lightly hitting his shoulder with her free hand.

“I take it back, you’re annoying.”

Silence passes between them. Her eyes lock with his and—there it is again. That curiosity. Obi-Wan swears it’ll be the death of him.

Her hand delicately moves to his face. Her fingers brush his cheek. He leans into the touch, not entirely sure of what he’s doing, but he finds he doesn’t particularly care. It’s happy here.

“Ben,” She whispers again, “Tell me if this isn’t what you want.”

He considers it, for just a moment. He hesitates. But the thing is—he wants to know what it’s like to kiss her. And so, for just a moment, he indulges in that curiosity. He leans forward, carefully, and kisses her. His hand goes up, tangling his fingers in her hair.

It’s happy here. In this moment, it’s warm. In this moment, the moonlight feels as though it is covering every inch of his body. In this moment, he feels as though he could stay here forever.

—————

When Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive back to the apartment from gathering intel the next day, she’s already gone to her interview. Luca’s working on an astromech as they all wait, eagerly, for her return.

“She’s been waiting on this for forever,” He says as he grabs another tool.

“She seemed awfully excited this morning,” Le’Ana speaks up from her desk. “But I don’t think she’s been sleeping much.”

“She never does when these things come up,” Luca replies. “Hey, Le’Ana, could I borrow-“

She’s already tossing the tool, something small that Obi-Wan can’t quite make out, before he’s even finished the sentence. He catches it, giving her a nod of thanks before he continues his work.

“How often does she have these interviews?” Anakin asks. Le’Ana shrugs.

“It’s been about two months since her last one, but it’s so sporadic.”

“We never really know what’s gonna happen,” Luca says.

The apartment returns to silence. Minutes pass that feel like hours. The holonet is playing on the table in front of Obi-Wan and Anakin, but neither of them are truly paying attention.

And then there’s the soft sounds of the door opening, and she walks in. She looks exhausted. Her eyes are low, her shoulders have fallen. She moves through the main room without really looking at anyone. Obi-Wan’s gaze follows her.

“Hey-“ Luca begins, but Le’Ana cuts him off with a look. The door to her room closes softly behind her, and the main room is left with a silence that feels much worse than before.

“I’ll go check on her,” Obi-Wan says. He can feel Anakin’s gaze on him as he gets up, but he continues anyway.

He closes the door behind him, and sees her sitting on her bed, head in her hands. He sits beside her, his hand going to her back. His touch is quiet, barely there, but she still leans into it.

“I’m so tired of this,” She says, muffled by her hands. Obi-Wan stays quiet, letting her continue. “I keep believing in the stupid notion that I can change things.”

“You can-“

“No! I can’t Ben!” She looks up then, her eyes watery as her eyes catch his. His chest sinks. “I’m sorry,” She whispers, “I’m not yelling at you I’m just so frustrated.”

“This wasn’t the one, that’s okay,” He says.

“I only have one chance left,” She replies. “There’s only one more candidate, and if I don’t get a job-“ She sighs, “I don’t even want to think about it.”

They stay quiet for just a moment.

“It’s just-“ She begins, “I’ve been told my entire life that I would find opportunity here. I was told that this was the place to be if you wanted to change things. If you wanted to work and help others, this was the place to do it.”

She stands up then, moving away from Obi-Wan as she stands near the front of her room.

“But I was lied to,” She says. “My entire kriffing I was lied to!”

Obi-Wan stays on her bed, watching as she paces back and forth, her voice gaining volume.

“All of the kriffing posters, the messages, the ads on the holonet, all of it, was a lie! They told me I could be whatever the hell I wanted to be here! I never wanted to be kriffing jobless!—Depending on two kids that I was supposed to help.” She turns to Obi-Wan, “I was supposed to be the one helping them! I can’t deal with all these lies anymore, Ben, I-“

“Obi-Wan,” He whispers.

“What?” She asks. She stops her pacing, she looks frozen.

“My name. It’s not Ben, It’s Obi-Wan.”

“You’re joking with me, right? You’re not-“

“I’m being serious, I promise.”

Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to look up at her. He knows this was for a mission, that he had to be careful about it, but he can’t help how awful he feels.

“What else have you lied about?” Her voice is broken, wavering.

“Nothing,” He replies.

“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me anything about who you are? Because the entire time you were lying to me anyway?”

“I promise-“

“Stop with the promises!”

He looks up. He regrets it. She looked exhausted before but, here, now, she looks betrayed.

“I wanted to tell you.”

“Why couldn’t you?” She asks.

And once again, Obi-Wan hesitates.

“I- I can’t tell you that-“

“Get out,” She whispers. “Please. Leave.”

Obi-Wan and Anakin leave Chandrila later that night, when the air is cold and the moonlight is shining on the streets.

—————

Coruscant is especially warm this time of year. Obi-Wan’s hair has grown longer since those days on Chandrila a year ago, now sweeping around the side of his face elegantly rather than awkwardly kept short. And what was once just stubble has turned into a beard, which Anakin has described his adamant hatred for quite often. Obi-Wan keeps it partially to annoy him.

But it’s a year later when Obi-Wan and Anakin are called to guard Senator Mon Mothma on her visit to Coruscant. The assignment brings back memories. Ones that Obi-Wan wishes he could forget. He often lays at night, watching one of Coruscant’s many moons, and thinks about that night on the hills, or the night in her room.

He hates how he still feels that curiosity. And he hates how he still feels that sinking in his chest when he thinks of her.

Obi-Wan and Anakin stand on the landing port, patiently waiting for the transport to arrive with the Senator and her team. Master Windu is with them, fully prepared to give introductions when the time is right.

In the distance, Obi-Wan sees the transport. He straightens his shoulders and back, and Anakin follows him, both of them with their hands behind their backs. The transport lands with ease, guards stepping out before the Senator and the rest of her advisors.

Obi-Wan closes his eyes to take a breath, and when he opens them, he swears he’s seen a ghost.

Because what once was an exhausted young girl, with barely anything to her name. A girl who looked out at the stars with him the first night she’d met him, a girl whose laugh felt like home, and a girl who kicked him out a year ago, was now standing in front of him. Her hair had gotten shorter, and now she stood before him in regalia that was elegant enough to combat the Senator’s.

Where she once had her thin hood and her baggy comfortable pants, she now had red, formal pants with a white and gold top. Her gaze first met Master Windu’s, and then her eyes quickly scanned the room before, finally, landing on Obi-Wan.

And then, suddenly, she had that same caring look.

“Senator,” Master Windu said, “It’s wonderful to have you here on Coruscant. Master Kenobi and his padawan Anakin Skywalker will be escorting you throughout your time here.”

“Thank you, Master Windu,” The Senator replied.

Obi-Wan’s eyes flick back to her throughout the entire night. As he and Anakin guide the Senator, he finds that his curiosity has come back. He wants to know what she’s thinking. How she’s feeling. If she’s as much of a mess as he is.

It’s a lot, all at once.

That night, in his temporary room, just a few doors down from the Senator, he finds himself watching the moons again when there’s a soft knock on his door.

“Come in,” He replies, and he’s met with the sound of someone coming from behind him. He’s too busy watching the moonlight to turn, he already knows who it is.

“It’s not exactly the Chandrilan skies, but I suppose it’ll do,” She says. She comes up beside him, leaning onto the window sill.

“I assume your last chance worked out?” Obi-Wan asks.

“After you left-“

“You kicked me out-“

“You lied to me-“

“I couldn’t tell you I was a Jedi!”

Their eyes meet, and they both break into quiet laughter.

“You’re as annoying as ever,” She says.

“It’s part of my charm,” He replies.

She rolls her eyes, lightly knocking his shoulder with hers.

“Anyway, after that mess, I got another interview scheduled for the following week. Then, before I knew it, I was working for Senator Mon Mothma.”

The moonlight catches on her clothes, the gold detailing in her top lighting up. It gives her this glow, one that Obi-Wan can’t explain.

“I suppose I should’ve been paying more attention to Chandrilan politics,” Obi-Wan says.

“If you had you would’ve seen the implementation of a certain policy named no more forgotten children,” She replies.

Obi-Wan can’t help the way he breaks out into a smile. She notices, because her eyes light up in a way Obi-Wan would adore to see more of. She lets her eyes fall over his face, and slowly, carefully, she raises a hand up to his cheek. Obi-Wan lets his eyes close, leaning into her touch.

“Your hair’s longer,” She whispers.

“And yours is shorter,” He replies.

“It fit the whole ‘political advisor that could murder you if she wanted’ look.” Her lips quirk into a smile as she speaks, her head tilting as she jokes.

“Obi-Wan,” She whispers. His name feels like a calling when it comes from her lips. He closes his eyes again, letting himself lean in closer.

“Yes?”

“I’ve missed you,” She says.

“A little dramatic for only knowing someone for three days, don’t you think?”

Her head falls down to his chest, her arms going to wrap around his neck.

“You are so annoying.”

“And yet you came back.”

She looks up then, “I did.”

Obi-Wan brings a hand up to her cheek, and she smiles, bright, the kind that reaches her eyes. And then, without reproach, and without thinking about the Jedi, or the code, or his curiosity, he pulls her in, and kisses her.

The moonlight feels like home, when it wraps the two of them together in its glow. And in that moment, Obi-Wan felt happy. Truly, undeniably, happy.

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x y/n #sw

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dolce-peach · 4 years

Note

Love your fics! Could you do a avengers x reader x Loki sleepover oneshot? Where Loki and reader are like to the hip bffs (also they’re crushin on eachother HARD) and it shows when they paint each other’s nails, cuddle up together during the movie and so on and the group is like AAAAAARGH THE SLOW BURN ynkow from watching them the whole time?

clear as day

pairing: loki x reader

warnings: fluff

a/n: a bit short but sweet! hope you like it, anon 💗

permanent taglist: @kaitlynmalikisnotonfire @just-another-loki-fanblog

** TO MAKE A REQUEST -- please check the status in my bio **

masterlist

----

It was another day in the Avengers Tower with absolutely nothing to do.

You’d think you’d be busy going around protecting the citizens of New York or battling various mercenary groups or something of the sort, but as one of the many heroes of the world, you found you had a lot of free time.

Maybe too much free time.

It was Tony’s idea to have a sleepover, and you thought it was absolutely brilliant.

“Guys!” Natasha announced as she stood proudly in front of the group. She held up a container. “I brought nail polish!”

You grinned, sending a glance at Loki, who frowned.

“No,” he said simply.

“Come on, Loki!” you begged, nearly dragging him to the couch. “Please!”

The god flashed a funny look. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Painting my nails would ruin my image! I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

“Oh, loosen up, Rudolf!” Tony called from the kitchen as he got the popcorn ready for the movie. “You can be Lord of the Underworld another day.”

You smiled, nodding quickly. “You’re in good hands. I promise.”

“I doubt that, but fine,” he groaned as you cheered, dragging him over to the couch.

The rest of the Avengers snickered seeing his dumbfounded expression.

Much to his relief, you pulled out nice shades of black and green to alternate. But then again, you knew him too well to choose anything different.

He watched you as you concentrated on his nails, painting intricate designs. He stopped himself from laughing.

You intrigued him as a human. He was always perpetually annoyed with your race, but started to gain hope in humanity after meeting you, the friendly, courageous girl who easily managed to melt his icy heart.

Natasha peered over your shoulder. “Wow, Y/N!”

“I know!” you said excitedly as you held up his hand for him to see. “Look! I think they look great!”

Loki found himself blushing madly. “Really?” he asked quietly, his eyes shining.

Thor chuckled from across the room.

Loki shook his head. “I mean, of course, they do. It’s my hand.”

His nails really were emaculate. You had patiently pushed his cuticles back and applied treatment, making his skin glow. The green and black you chose couldn’t have been more perfect.

You nodded proudly. “I’d say that’s probably some of my best work,” you laughed. “You better pay me.”

“With what?”

You smirked. “A kiss?”

Loki was taken aback, furrowing his brow in thought. The rest of the Avengers groaned, especially Tony as he came back with bowls of popcorn.

“I’m joking!” you teased. “Maybe you can help me prank Tony once in a while.”

The god scoffed. “Yes, I’m sure he’d love that.”

“I would,” the billionaire confirmed. “Anyways, what do you guys want to watch?”

“Horror!” Natasha exclaimed.

“Oh, are those the gross, bloody movies?” Thor asked excitedly. “Horror, please.”

“Disney,” Steve chimed in quietly.

Bruce cleared his throat. “I agree with Cap.”

“We gotta go horror,” Clint protested.

“I’ll go with Disney,” Tony sighed. “I’ve seen way too much blood lately.”

You poked Loki’s arm. “What do you want to watch?”

“You choose,” he brushed off, beginning to treat your nails as he’d watched you do. He chose a white shade. “Besides, you know more than me in that area.”

You were slightly distracted by his touch. His fingers were gentle, almost like air as they brushed over your skin. Your breath hitched in your throat as he held your hand, painting each nail carefully.

“Um, Disney then,” you found yourself saying.

Tony shrugged as Steve and Bruce told him which movie to put in.

“It’s hard to believe you have such delicate hands,” Loki murmured, still concentrating.

You shifted in your seat. “How so?”

He glanced up at you with his shining gaze. “I mean, after all the work you do, the battles you’ve seen...” He smiled. “It’s nice.”

You laughed. “Alright.”

It wasn’t long before you were admiring Loki’s work. Steve and Tony were the most confused, not knowing Loki was capable of something that didn’t involve an explosion.

Eventually Finding Nemo started playing. Tony, Steve, and Bruce sat on the floor around the small coffee table. Thor, Clint, and Natasha sat happily on beanbags Tony bought last minute.

You cuddled with Loki on the couch, already knowing what happens in the first scene.

Loki didn’t complain. He actually didn’t mind.

“No,” he quietly whispered after Nemo’s mother sacrificed herself to save her kids.

You looked up at him. “It’s okay after this.”

He subconsciously grasped your hand tightly. He eventually released it as the movie went on, his green eyes taking in everything like a child.

You found yourself watching him more than the movie. His expressions were priceless, and it made you realize how open and raw his emotions were. The wonder in his eyes could cure any sickness.

It wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

As the movie ended, Loki was careful not to wake you, letting you continue to sleep. He ignored the snickers from the group, his eyebrow occasionally twitching with annoyance.

“I knew it!” Thor said. “You were courting Y/N, clear as the eternal sun in Valhalla!”

“Shut up, Brother!” Loki said. In a hushed tone, he hissed. “I was not!”

“So,” Steve sighed. “You’re gonna lie about it?”

Loki shook his head. “N-no...”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Can you please confess to each other, because this is just excruciating now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Loki said.

You stirred, opening your tired eyes.

“Hey,” Loki said softly, brushing the hair from your eyes.

“We should do this more often,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around him. “You make quite the comfortable pillow.”

Hearing the scoffs from the team, Loki rolled his eyes, feeling a blush approach his cheeks.

Because he knew deep down that they were right.

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seoschangbin · 4 years

Photo

Hi hi, it’s ya gal Rachel! To start off, this isn't really a follow forever but more of a mushy love fest. I was going to do this back in October when my blog hit 2 years but then with everything that happened... 😞✌ figured it wasn’t the best time! But since it’s the new year, I just wanted to spread some love to start off the decade, especially towards all the lovely people who have made my 2019 a little bit happier ♡ Thank you to everyone for making this such a fun & amazing year; thank you for supporting my gifs & graphics and interacting with me; overall, thank you for making Tumblr fun again! So to all my moots and followers, I’m wishing you all a very happy and wonderful 2020!

I wanted to take some time as well to write some messages to all my mutuals - seeing you guys on my dash + all your work (if you’re a cc) is such a joy and I admire all of you very very much! Thank you for putting in the time to making gifs/graphics/fic/etc. and I hope you won’t mind if I gush about you a little, even if we’ve never spoken hehe! Under the cut in alphabetic order.. she’s a long one sorry!

@00hj | karen!! angel!! first of all, everything u make is just the cleanest cutest thing ever, i truly want your brain!.. u are such an incredibly talented gfx creator and i get heart palpitations every time i see ur work!! i adore u so much n ur tags are also so full of sweetness n purity and 😞💕 i just want to give u a hug!! + the way u always say hi to ccs in ur tags when u rb their stuff. cute!! pure!!

@01degree | joanna!! first of all... thank u for filling my dash with so many groups, some of which i almost never get to see 😌💕 ur brain being multi af like me.. chefs kiss! also! you make such clean and nice gifs please don’t ever doubt that laskjd!! 2020 joanna stops saying her gifs suck! idk how u make them so clean but legends only! bls remember to be kind to yourself this year! 💕

@1095 | nicolle!! i haven’t seen you around recently but i hope everything is okay and you’re doing well! i have to say that your graphics are absolutely INSANE i don’t know how you do it!! the colours.. how it all comes together.. amazing! ur career as a graphic designer will be a good one 😌👍 secondly your urls are always so cute nd nice!! and thirdly back to number 1.. i just love everything you make so so much bls come back to us 😖

@3noracha | falak.. ur the fandom’s gem.. the sharpening on ur gifs takes my breath away everytime + the colouring.. omg chef’s kiss!! i didn’t know you before you came back earlier this year but i’m so so glad you did come back bc u are so full of love 😳💗 you make the cutest graphics as well and are just radiate so much positivity 💞

@bamgchan | henri! still my confident car selfie king!! so glad i found you through sagey.. i love all your content (ur graphics.. always so well put together!) and the way you interact with people is so full of energy and positivity and i adore that! i hope 2020 treats you well 🥰

@banghans | ollie!! all of ur content.. ur gifs! amazing.. wonderful.. iconic thank you for providing so much hq content for the rest of us peasants 😌💕 your love for chan and jisung is also so pure n cute when u rave abt it 💞 bls stop being so hard on yourself and i love reading about how you’re always striving to be better to yourself! i hope 2020 is a good year for you 💖

@binnieseason | emily.. a loss for binnie stans that you’re gone 😔 anyways i hope to see you back sometime because you make such nice gifs + the colouring on them.. so pretty and clean.. how to be you! i hope things are okay with you and that you’ve been well!

@cb-97s | miss li! y/a novel protagonist herself!! li you’re a burst of sunshine in my day and i love chatting w u! your love for chan.. too pure 😭 every time i talk to you i’m like.. dang.. she’s real.. ppl get to see her for real! might force u to meet me irl 🤷‍♀️ also queen of gfx.. always so clean.. 😍 i know it’s been a stressful year for you but i hope 2020 brings you happiness and love 💞 love u!

@changbeanie | hi ruby! ur graphics are always so intricate n pretty + the colouring on ur gifs.. so pretty 😭💖 thank you for providing like 90% of the changbin content nd keeping me well-fed 🥰 ur always so sweet to ur anons as well and are just a lil ray of sunshine ☀️

@changbinie | jo.. what even is there to say abt u.. still can’t believe i got u into skz.. CAN’T!!! thanks for suffering w me and dealin w me wakin u to talk abt middies.. + changbin arms.. i love u a little i think (?)

@channie | hi fishy! ur one of the very first skz blogs i ever followed back in 2017.. we ancient 😌🤙 i know you’re not too active anymore but all of your gifs have like. the prettiest colouring ever idk how you do it! i hope you’ll come back to us

@elfminho | min! i love the way u tag skz in your tags.. so cute 😭 star boy!!! cute 😭 ur gifs are also lovely as well 🥰 i think ur one of the first skz blogs i followed when i starting using this blog again n i’m glad i found ur blog bc i adore u 💞

@glowsvt | grace.. my little baby! i wish i could just !! get into ur brain how lovely nd wonderful of a human you are.. have more confidence in yourself! 😣 you make wonderful graphics.. ur style! cute! and you have such a sweet and good heart!! i love when you ramble about things and always appreciate how you take the time to reach out to me despite how busy you are 💕 thank you for being a real-life angel, i hope 2020 is good and kind to you 🙇‍♀️💞

@hanjisungz | britt!!! nerd squad let’s go!! you’re such an angel, the way you treat everyone who talks to you with so much kindness and positivity makes me want to cry!! ur truly just the cutest sunbeam and just such lovely lovely human!! thank u for puttin up with my late replies and how boring i am 😭 i also adore your gifs and icons.. which you know.. but always.. chefs kiss to them!

@huiracha | marie... first of all skz AND ptg? great, amazing, fantastic combination... galaxy brain 💞 secondly, u make such SUCH nice gifs 😭 ur prob one of my fav skz ccs and all ur pretty chan comp sets.. always look forward to them! thank u for also bringing me ptg content i never see enough of them 💕

@hwang-hyunjin | agnes!! ur topaz settings r always insane and they make your gifs look amazing!! + the colouring u do is always so beautiful!! the combo rly makes ur gifs so distinctive nd pretty💞 ur edits too!! just lovely 🥰 also the fact that we’re also moots on our mx blogs.. amazing.. i love a staybebe!!

@hyunjins | godleigh???? still one of my fav gifmakers ever!! perfect colouring.. sharpening.. best brain! 💞 rmbr ur skz x prince series... still think abt it sometimes.. wish i could be half as brilliant as u! i’m so glad we started talking bc u are incredibly funny and fun to talk to and i love witnessing ur breakdowns even though they’re probably way funnier to me than they should be 😭 love that u vibe w me and we can be mean together 😭 thank u for giving me this url 😭 thank u for being my friend, u truly are like. half the reason i enjoy being on this blog 😭 you’re wonderful and i love u a lot! sorry for clowning u sometimes! i hope everything sorts itself out soon bc u deserve some peace nd happiness 😩 and i wish u nothing but the best for this year and hope that the next year will be filled with good things 💖

@ifbin | mikaela.... u know i could talk abt you forever right???? ur graphics.. bro 😭 literally my fav gfx ever on this site.. u have such a vibrant + clean style it’s so sexy 😭 literally am in love with everything u make.. every time i see it i’m like 😳💖 also you’re such a sweetheart in your tags i can’t with you... spare friendship miss 💍

@jeonginz | bri! honestly.. i think you’re my oldest mutual from when we first started our blogs during survival era #ogs? 😳 when i found out you were nctmark... mind blown... anyways all your content is AMAZING even though u dont make as much for skz anymore msdg but ur dedication to all ur sideblogs.. galaxy brain 😌

@jinlix | kelly...!! still gazing at u across the river i love love love u!! how to purchase friendship? ur just the purest snowflake and a wonderful person with the cutest tags... ur love for hyunjin.. CUTE 💞 all your graphics are so pretty and clean as well.. dragonlix gfx never forgotten.. 😳 and you’re rly just a little angel!! 💞

@kim-woojins | emma, i know that you’re gone and closed pretty much but if you come back to this! just wanted to let you know that you were my fav woojin cc and i hope you’ll consider coming back someday 💖 your gifs.. always amazing! plus, you’re such a kind person and i hope everything is okay with you and things have settled a bit! sending you lots of love 💕

@kittylixie | moon.. honestly one day i just started seeing ur content everywhere.. ur gifs are so clean and pretty and just! mwah! you’re always so quick to gif as well i don’t know how you to do it! all the stuff you choose to gif as well.. best moments 💖

@kmwoojins | sagey.... still don’t really know how i came to be following you! 😩 but i’m so happy i am because you are so pure and sweet and i adore adore adore you!! 💞 love how welcoming and lovely you are as a human and still laugh every time i think about how shocked you are about jo and i... 😌 anyways i adore your graphics and you, thank you for just being such a lovely human, you were a wonderful part of my year 💖

@leeminho-s | hi lia! i know we only became moots recently but all your gifs.. so pretty 😳 and we never have enough minho content.. thank you for providing 😫 i’m sorry i don’t know much about you yet but i just wanted to say i admire your gifs so much and hope you have a wonderful start to the new year!

@minknows | hi thien! first of all.. your name.. so lovely 😳 secondly.. the colouring on your gifs is always so pretty and good 😭❤ the sharpening too.. 😔 just!! chefs kiss to it all, would take a class on how to gif from you 🙇‍♀️

@nochous | dez!! we haven’t interacted much on this sb of mine but hehe i loved our convo on my sf9 blog.. still always thinkin abt you calling kun daddy 😭 you’re such a fun person to talk to and i hope everything is okay with you since you’ve gone on a semi-hiatus! i hope we’ll have another chance to talk soon, sending you some good energy for 2020 💗

@prodskz | hi neha! i feel like you took a hiatus sometime this year (??) where i didn’t see you on much but i’m happy to see you a little more active on here now!! u provide such nice content + for some reason i rly rly love your icon 😭💗

@realstraykids | miss em.. secret santa FATED us 😔💕 anyways i adore you, we are the core of fantastay culture and this will forever unite us 😌 i’m vibrating at the thought of their comeback 😖 ANYWAYS you are such a friendly and lovely person and i enjoyed getting to talk with u so much over the past couple of weeks 💖 you’re one of my fav gifmakers honestly your mv aesthetics swap.. as i said.. 😭 amazing iconic showstopping! + the colouring on all your gifs.. so pretty 😭

@seungminhos | to quote you. you are far too funny to be a gifmaker 😣 but then who would provide all the good seungmin content.. 😞 you’re such a force of nature on my dash and i love reading all your thoughts bc you are Funny.. and your love for seungmin + how you always want the best for him is pure!! our sporadic interactions too.. always enjoy them 💕 even though i know you’re stressed about being on here sometimes, i want you to know that you’re wonderful and i appreciate all you do to bring more seungmin on our dashes 💗 pls stop threatening to delete your blog, i would be devastated 😫

@seungminsmile | aurora!! the one time i was about to have a seungmin breakdown and went to you... hehe you’re such a cutie and very grounded person (imo!!) and you make the cutest little graphics.. the little doodles.. how do you do that!! 😳 and now that you’re making gifs.. Queen! i hope your first semester went well! 💕

@seunie | hello nia!! i know we are still new moots but you are such a pure soul.. just ur blog title.. angel! you radiate so much love and sweetness 💞 your gifs are always so vibrant + colourful as well and bring a bit of colour onto my dash just like you! hopefully we can speak in the coming year, i wish you the very best! 🥰

@skzbffie | rayana... all ur gifs... bro.... how to start a rayana religion... amazing 😍 ur gifs are always so clean + i can recognize them by the subtitle font you use.. u always choose the best moments to gif honestly how to be u! honestly ur tags are fun to read too don’t judge me i am just an admirer and fan of u 😭

@skznta | miss sierra! idk how to put it into words but you... goddess of goodness? you truly radiate so much positivity and happiness and it makes me so.. uwu (for lack of better words).. you’re so so cute over all your love for science and i’m glad we got to bond over that! the way you’re always striving to learn more + improve yourself.. u inspire me 😳 you are also an incredible cc and thank you for bringing so much joy into the fandom and my life!! i feel very grateful to have gotten to know you a little this year 💞

@thechanboys | jem.. u are a GEM... 😭 the way i got u for secret santa i’ll never get over it!! you are just such sunshine and so fun to talk to and 😳💞 if u ever wanna abandon bin for me.. 😌 my fav number one chan/bin stan..! i’m so happy you got into skz this year and i’m gonna try my hardest to get you into some other groups hehe 🤧 anyways, you are incredible, lovely, wonderful, amazing i love u jem!! 💖

@tinyjisung | bea! honestly.. we are moots on like 3(?) blogs our multi selves.. galaxy brain... i know ur more active on ur ateez blog but i wanted to write abt you here anyways because I CAN! 😌 but i love all that good san content you provide + you just seem like a very calm n fun person 💕

@virgolix | nina. you’re such a cute person filled with love and you just spread so much positivity and good energy! you treat everyone with so much kindness and it’s so nice to see 💖 and if i can rave about your gifs for a minute... they are unreal 😫 the sharpening.. colouring.. always so amazingly clean + pretty + vibrant!

@wonstal | hi hi! okay.. i adore all your content, you have the cutest colouring ever!! + topaz settings.. so pretty 😖💞 even though we started off as moots on my mx blog, i’m so glad you got into skz and ateez + will be on your sweet merry way to sf9 soon 🤞 i’m glad we’ve just started chatting a bit because you seem super fun and i’m excited to get to know you better! i hope 2020 treats you well darling 💖

@yongbells | iana.. hope everything is okay with you always and sending you lots of love! i miss seeing you on here but i hope you’re taking good care of yourself 💗 also.. gfx queen... 😖 you’re SUCH a ray of sunshine.. the way you always tell people how much you love their creations is so kind and all of your own gfx are some of the most beautiful things ever 💖 we are so blessed to have you in this fandom 😩

#rachel.txt #oh man.. this took me a while to write but i hope u guys are oke w my messages 😭#i adore u all v v much and sending u all warm wishes for the new year + new decade!!#thank u all for making this my fav sideblog #+ to my followers i love u all and wish u the best year yet as well 💖#if i missed anyone.. bls feel free to shoot me in the head #if we're moots + ur not here i missed u bc i am an idiot. bls dm me immediately so i can tell u how much i love u

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a-simple-imagine · 4 years

Text

Mother of Exiles

Synopsis: Guess it’s time to get the ball rolling on this revolution but first a party

Pairing: Dolores Abernaty x fem!reader

words: 2.6k

A/N - Sorry this is late. I have a lot going on.

Warning: Guns. Mentions of nudity.

"Did you find something?"

Her gentle voice draws your eyes from the mirror as she walks towards you joined by another. For your first mission, you had been given the ultra dangerous task of.... going shopping; not exactly what you expected but here you were stood in some overly pristine clothing establishment. It was rather small and didn't appear too busy but just about everything in her cost more than your apartment. You wonder if Dolores knew that when she brought you here. It had been a while so you flash a smile at her return. You weren't sure how much longer you could put up with being here, or Karen who keeps asking if you need any help every five minutes. Although you did appreciate the compliments being thrown your way with every new outfit.

The AR mirror was a particular favourite of your shopping adventure. It made the tedious notion of shopping a tad more bearable. Your reflection wore a black and navy blue peak lapel tuxedo jacket with matching flare pants. It wasn't a bad look, minus the flare.

"Not really," your entire body slumping with a groan. "Nothing looks right,"

With a hand placed delicately over your shoulder, Dolores takes control of the AR menu. You watch as she shifts through the various options; dashing suits, delicate jumpsuits, elegant dresses before finally making her selection. It's always a treat to watch a new outfit unravel across your reflection and this time was no different. The most elegant of black dresses descended, a delicate embroidered flower pattern lines the chest that stopped above the waist. The V-neck plunged deep between the valley of your breast. It reached to the floor and from the shoulder was a cape. It was beautiful and you're almost in awe of her choice however it wasn't the most practical of outfits.

"It looks good on you," You meet her blue eyes in the mirror just before she turns to her companion. "Wouldn't you agree, Caleb?"

So his name was Caleb. You wonder who they are to each other as you await his response. He gives a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, looks good."

The corner of your lips turn up but you're still unsure of the choice. Staring at yourself, all you could focus on was everything possibly wrong with the outfit. Was it too long? Did the v-neck show off too much skin? Should you go for something simpler? Shorter?

"What is this for?"

"A party." Her hand glides off you shoulder as she steps back. "And you need to blend in,"

"I don't think a fancy dress is gonna make anyone believe I'm part of high society."

"It's tribal," Dolores insists. "They use plumage to identify themselves which makes them easily fooled."

"She said the same to me just go with it," Caleb adds, taking a seat off to the side.

"I couldn't possibly afford this," You explain in a hushed tone, twisting your body so you could have a gander at the back. It mimicked a backless dress through its use of see-through material and edged with flora of eccentric lace.

"I think this is a winner," Guess she made up your mind. You didn't mind though, making decisions when it came to spending could be... difficult at times.

"Wouldn't something a little more practical work better if we're on the job," You counter as you step down from the podium almost weirdly relieved to be in your everyday clothes.

"It won't matter," she insists. "We are not doing anything complicated."

"So what are we doing anyway?"

Dolores explained the operation as if she was explaining something very complex to a young child. To summarise you were planning to attend a party of sorts in order to find and detain Liam Demphery Jr, a figurehead of Incite Inc. So as you got ready, you mentally prepared yourself to kidnap a man or more so borrow. You could live with that. It wasn't like you were some corporate bootlicker; you were just new to all this crime business and you didn't exactly have much of a choice. Help Dolores or die w're your options.

Even in an age of speed, you're still surprised by how quickly they altered the dress to your liking. You just wanted it a little shorter so it was easier to walk in and run should the moment arise. Goes to show that money really was power. The dress may not have been the most practical but it did look the part. Dolores was sporting a simple but frankly spectacular jumpsuit that stopped just above her chest. Her beautiful blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun. She looked amazing, not that you had been staring as you walked in just a few steps behind her. Meanwhile, Caleb was beside you dressed in a black tuxedo with a black shirt and tie. You had to admit the man cleans up well; he looked very dapper. You all matched in a sense; all in team colours if you will. When Dolores had said party, she meant party. This was in no way you average get together but an almost overly pristine masquerade event full of elites. Women adorned beautiful white dresses while there wasn't a man in sight not in a tuxedo. The walls were covered in artwork of the finest caliber, some of it was even animated. The rich sound of the violinists filled the entire room with an aura of elitism and sophistication. You’re in awe of the world you've stepped into even though it wasn't for long. Heading towards a table decorated with a variety of masks. They had simply ones of one colour to ones with bold designs and feathers. You eye a white one with an intricate gold pattern but Dolores hands you a simple black one.

"What is this?" Caleb asks as he is given one too.

"I thought your world would be so different than mine," Dolores starts, placing the material mask over here head and fitting it against the bridge of her nose. "But there isn't any difference at all."

Dolores heads into the crowd and Caleb trails after. You place on your mask and follow in toe. Your eyes scanning the crowd for the target but you can't help but take in the sheer size and bizarreness of it all. It was like a different world; one filled with the finest of things but only for those in dresses worth way too much. It was surreal to be surrounded by so much wealth. There were various podiums set up around the room, each had a crystal chandelier of sorts hung above. And on display were tastefully naked individuals being ogled by the wealthy. You didn't feel any particular way towards nudity, you didn't see it as an abomination or indecent. You just didn't quite grasp what they were doing or what this whole event was even about.

"I'll take him when he's alone," Her words break you from you existential crisis over how rich people choose to spend their time. Dolores wore a small but knowing smile. "Wouldn't want to spoil the fun,"

You don't bother asking because if there's one thing you know about Dolores it's that she never answers your questions: and when she does it's usually vague and unhelpful. From the corner of your eye, you notice a server as they pass, quickly grabbing a flute of champagne off their little tray. Two sets of eyes fall to you and you buckle under the pressure. "What? I need something to calm my nerves-" You huff like a child being scolded. "Dolores just said to have fun."

It was true. You were feeling on edge and this would help with your confidence since Dolores insisted that you should stop using limbic tabs. You weren't sure how long you'd last without them but so far so good... kinda. "Stay focused."

"I can multi-task." With a heavy sigh, both of them continue walking. "How long is this gonna take?"

Bringing the glass to your lips, you take a small sip to gauge the taste. Fine bubbles exploded against your tongue in an explosion of dainty flavours. It had a floral taste to it with hints of fresh fruit. Maybe a hint of peach? You couldn't be sure but either way, it tasted expensive. You've had champagne before but it never tasted like this.

"You're not enjoying yourself?" Caleb asks from a few steps ahead.

"Can't say I'm particularly interested in anything here," Your shoulders rise in a casual shrug as you narrowly avoid crashing into a couple who had no intention of moving out the way for you. "couldn't afford it either, the champagne is good though."

As your path drifts you find yourself separated from the others. Everything about this place absolutely reeked of privilege and nobody even suspected that you didn't belong. Guess Dolores was right in saying they are easily fooled. All it took was a gorgeous gown and a mask you never imagined yourself wearing. Staring up from the edge of a podium, you admire the man who was so proudly on display. He wore nothing but a Victorian ruffle style collar paired with sleeves. His muscles so defined as he lay his body bare for the world to see. You couldn't imagine being in his position but each their own. You tried not to look but you couldn't help your curiosity as your eyes drifted from his abs down to his rather... large penis and back. Jesus Christ, he could do some damage with that thing; not that you were judging him or choosing to objectify him. It was just an observation. You're unsure of his role at such a high-end event until you overhear someone ask to place a bid and all the little pieces fall into place. You were currently attending a sex auction? What even were rich people. Turning on your heel, you go in search of your companions and they weren't all that hard to find.

"Good, we're ready to intercept him," Dolores declares, turning to you as you approach. "Ready?"

You nod a little too eagerly. Your adrenaline was pumping. You could do this. There was no turning back now. It was a simple job just grab the target and leave, right? The blonde has you following her out of the ballroom and up the stairs. Readying a gun you didn't even know she brought with her. Where exactly had she been hiding it?

"Where did she get that from?" Your voice but a whisper as you speak to Caleb. The target, Liam, was being guided by two others. Dolores fired three rounds; each one an assault to the ears even with a silencer. You weren't used to it. It made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The taller of the two gentlemen came charging towards you all, Dolores strikes him first. Knocking the wind clean out of him. Looking to you two, Dolores holds out the gun. "Stay on Liam, I'll handle him."

"You sure?" There was uncertainty in his voice and you couldn't really blame him.

"Take it, I won't need it."

Caleb looks between the two of you before running off down the stairs. "You should go too,."

You don't want to leave her but you nod just once. Hesitating at the stairs; you glance back at her. Was she going to be okay? You've seen her shoot two men before your very eyes but this was an entirely different ball game. Whatever they were talking about, you were too far away to hear but for a second your eyes meet and it was enough to put your mind at rest or at least to send you chasing after Caleb.

Deep breathes as you finally break out into the cold night air, hunched over as you calm yourself down. You're pretty good in heels but apparently not when you need to be because you almost slipped down the stairs. Luckily nobody was around to see you but it was still embarrassing. After a moment, you stand up straight and walk up beside the man. He had the gun held up at Liam's surprise guest. Seemed like everything was under control.

"You're helping her aren't you- Dolores," The stranger spoke slowly and clearly; a little cautiously if you will. "are you one of us?"

"One of us?" You repeat looking to Caleb with furrowed brows. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," He growls. "Just give me the asshole and I will let you walk out of here."

With a nudge of his head, you take the hint but before you can even grab Liam he's calling out to someone. "Connells- the fuck took you so long."

Twisting around, you spy yet another gun; you were feeling very unprepared for this battle. Unsure of who he was pointing at, you back away a little in surrender. Flinching at the sound of gunfire but when your eyes open, it's to see him shoot the rest of his men. What was going on? The plan had changed so drastically.

"What the hell are you doing?" You know it's Liam. He's the only voice you weren't familiar with now but you don't dare to look. Focused in on the man with the gun.

"Don't you fucking twitch," The silver-haired Scott spat with a firm grip of his weapon. It was pointed in the same direction as Caleb's. You exchange a confused look with Caleb. Who were all these people? As the Scott drifts to Liam, you're quick to move out of the way.

"Run." Liam stumbles against the side of the vehicle; the rest of you too stunned to make a move. "Run, before I put a bullet in your pointy little head." His Scottish accent was thick which made him sound a little harsher than expected. Liam was hesitant, a little surprising for how cowardly he seemed, "fucking run!"

The fear was clear as Liam ran for his life; you were half expecting to witness a shooting but thankfully it never happened. Instead, his attention is drawn between you and Caleb. Guess he was on Liam's side after all.

"You better go after him," Or not. Caleb watches him and then turns to you; your shoulders rising up in the smallest of shrugs. You didn't need to be asked twice. Caleb is faster but you put that down to the fact he didn't have to put up with wearing heels all night as you jog along. You couldn't wait to trade them for a comfortable pair of boots.

"Leave me alone, I- I'll pay whatever you want." Rounding the corner, Caleb has Liam shoved up against the wall. The gun Dolores gave him being put to good use in front of his face.

"Oh yeah? Pay me with what, Huh, I have all your money."

"You do?" You question, Dolores had only filled you in on the plan but you were beginning to realise she had left a lot out.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm with her," Caleb spoke, his gun falling to the side as he lets the poor guy relax. You'd be questioning him if it weren't for the whisk of blond that just sauntered past you. Dolores.

"Hello, lover."

Wait... lover?

#westworld #dolores abernathy #Dolores abernathy x reader #evan rachel wood #westworld fanfiction

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allsassnoclass · 3 years

Note

oh okay WELL! back in 2016 when the only musical i really knew was hamilton, i was strongly in favour of hamilton sweeping. but now with (1) a more diverse taste and (2) more appreciation for the other shows in that season as well as (3) a general loathing for the american theatre wing, i'm a little more reticent about the whole sweeping thing. just in general tbh. i feel like hamilton's sweeping win kind of kickstarted a thing with the ATW where they would just pick One Show that would win everything each season (deh the next season, and then band's visit) and i did not particularly care for that. not to say they didn't NECESSARILY deserve these wins but i certainly think they didn't deserve all of them (also i still harbor a grudge for the fact that falsettos won NOTHING. NOTHING. but that's a separate thing). so that's where i'm at lol

oh god favourite words... i have quite a lot (i keep a list sort of) but uhh here's a few: i like saying crisp. i like defensible. likewise. indefatigable. trounce. decimate. snazzy. intricate. vibrant. darling and sweetheart are also both good. i have weird Things about words if you can't tell

preferred writing utensil is a mechanical pencil!!! pens tend to smudge because i'm left handed and i like that you don't have to sharpen a mechanical pencil cos who the fuck has the time these days. in this economy? no

oh boy uhhhh okay i'm gonna say for me, maybe telepathy? slash mindreading? bc i think i'm good at communication as well as reading or getting a feel for people's emotions. so i think if that translated into a superpower it'd be that. not sure what my name would be! Ms. Communication maybe that'd be funny lmao but it's a little gimmicky and... third-grade-youtube-video-esque. must reflect further on this. i am open to suggestions. i feel like it's weird to choose your own superhero name anyway

also while i'm here i'd like to say that i understand all grievances with waitress, i have some problems with it as well (ogie... nope. not the vibe) but i did see waitress when it was on broadway (betsy wolfe!!! loml) and i really loved it overall. also i cried at the take it from an old man scene. a whole lot. some of the music is really nice. but i respect your opinion!! xoxo bella

yeah I have A Lot that could be said about why the atw is not good. I also have beef with sweeping like while a show may be good there are always Multiple good shows out there and the overall best musical might not have the best lighting or costumes or featured actor and it’s infuriating that lately one show has been getting all of the credit and recognition when so many others also deserve it. when the band’s visit swept I believe mean girls and spongebob had 24 nominations between them and only one win, which is ridiculous. don’t get me wrong: I love band’s visit a lot and if one of the shows had to sweep I'm glad it was that one, but it shouldn’t have. this also could start a whole different conversation about commercialized musicals and the shift in the state of theatre and how the atw has reacted to that but I am attempting to be concise

those are pretty good words heck yeah! and mechanical pencils are really valid especially since you’re left handed like my mama. I used to hate writing with pens but tbh I was converted by a boy I liked :/ however I really only like these specific pens, otherwise I would take a mechanical pencil over other pens.

I think telepathy works for you. I almost feel like your name needs to have nothing to do with your power because tbh there’s not many good names that connect to telepathy that aren’t already taken in comics. however I have no suggestions for you lol

spoilers for waitress below! I'm going to talk in more detail about why I didn’t like it (which you don’t have to read if you don’t want)

okay so first off I just really struggle with infidelity plots and there was a lot of infidelity in this show. Jenna I could understand but the doctor? Becky? like there was just a lot and I have a hard time feeling sympathetic towards cheating characters, especially when there isn’t really any karma for them in the show. there were no consequences for those actions

everything with Ogie. yeah. no. big no. nope nope nope. he literally stalked Dawn and her friends were like “yeah he’s the guy for you :)” and this is written off as completely normal and fine! very creepy. 0/10.

bad idea (reprise) was very uncomfortable for me to watch. I actually just now looked up a bootleg to see if it was the same staging and it looks like it is but yeah I just really couldn’t do that scene and even my significantly more sex positive classmates were uncomfortable at the kind of sudden turn to "a sex romp.” it really put me on edge for the rest of the show.

perhaps my opinion would’ve been changed if I had listened to the cast recording beforehand, but none of the songs really stuck with me except she used to be mine, which I had heard before. the issue it that you don’t get that song until near the end, so musically the show didn’t grip me for the majority of it. if I re-listened and re-familiarized myself with it I could probably find more songs I liked (it’s been a year since I saw it and I haven’t listened to any of the songs since), but in general I nothing really stood out to me or left a big impression

also this is a really picky thing but the set design had the horizontal line of death all the way across it which is has been drilled into me as being Bad and is generally uninteresting

I will say that Joe was my favorite part of the show, hands down. I think I teared up too but I do that very easily so!

#ask #bella #great responses I love them #and I love you <3

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sidneycarter · 4 years

Text

ink and coffee stains

a short fic loosely inspired by chatting with @bisidneycarter about secret love letters!

Sid x Sullivan (with mentioned Felicia x Flambeau!)

Pretty PG

Felicia reads a love letter that wasn’t intended for her, but it warms her soul anyway.

There’s been a body found on the edges of the Montague estate. Dastardly business, Felicia thinks to herself as Sid drives her to the police station at Kembleford.

She’s taking the maps of the grounds to the Inspector, and has volunteered to answer a few questions about the estate management to see if they might help find leads for the case.

Father Brown, of course, has also given her a second task of digging for any information she can find to help relating to the case. The Father is convinced it’s a murder connected to another in a neighbouring village, and needs all the information he can get.

Sid pulls up outside the station and helps her out.

Felicia heads for the door but stops up short when Sid doesn’t follow her. Normally he likes nothing more than to sit in the police waiting room, tormenting whichever Sergeant is watching the desk that day. The exception to this is when it’s Sergeant Goodfellow, of course, of whom Sid is rather fond, in which case they talk about village gossip and the biscuits Sid would like for the next time he’s in the cells.

But this time he seems hesitant, and pulls a cigarette from his pocket before leaning back against the Rolls. “If you don’t mind I think I’ll stay out here, have a cigarette.”

He seems distant and Felicia frowns in concern. He’s been not quite himself for a few days now, choosing to sleep at his quarters in the Main House rather than in his caravan. He’s been quiet too, lacking in his usual gregarious charm. Felicia even offered to make him a hot cocoa the other night, and he turned it down. He’s known for refusing any drinks Hercule makes (some nonsense about expecting poison), but he never turns down Felicia’s. Something is obviously afoot.

Felicia has her suspicions. While many believe her to be a ditzy, air-headed Lady of the Manor, she is in fact an astute observer and a shrewd judge of character. Working alongside Father Brown, and carrying on with an internationally wanted Art Thief has honed her skills even further.

Felicia senses that something has been going on between Sid and the Inspector. At first she thought they were just friends, but they spend an inordinate amount of their free time together and then fall out and act like strangers in public. If they were just friends surely there wouldn’t be the need for the distance and the secrecy. It’s all rather odd.

Felicia leaves Sid to it, sweeping in to the constabulary and throwing a winning smile at Sergeant Goodfellow. “Good Morning, Sergeant. It’s wonderful to see you. Apparently I’m required by the Inspector?”

Sergeant Goodfellow beams. “Morning your Ladyship. The Inspector said to bring you straight through.”

Goodfellow knocks on the Inspector’s office door and waits for a moment before entering.

“It’s Lady Felicia, sir. She’s here about the body.”

Sullivan looks surprised and a little startled at their intrusion, as if he’d been concentrating hard on something. He’d been writing, and writing a lot by the looks of it. There is some paper in front of him on the desk, filled with scribbles, and his fingers are ink stained. “Right, yes, of course. Lady Felicia, please, um, sit down. Thank you, Sergeant.”

He looks tired, Felicia thinks as she takes her seat. There are bags under his eyes, and his entire posture seems stooped, like it’s taking him real energy to hold himself up. He looks slightly scruffier than normal, too. Not so much that it would be noticeable ordinarily, but knowing the Inspector’s usually exacting style it looks a little out of place.

He’s frowning deeply, and hurriedly chivvies the paper he was writing on underneath some folders. He takes out his notepad and sighs. “Right. Lady Felicia if you could just --”

The door swings open again, and the Sergeant peeps his head round the door sheepishly. “Sorry to interrupt, Sir, but Head Office are on the phone and they want a word. They say it’s urgent.”

Sullivan looks like he’d hate nothing more than having to speak to Head Office right now. He sighs once more and stands up, running a hand over his face. “Apologies, Lady Felicia. I hope you don’t mind waiting, this will take just a few minutes.”

It’s no bother to Felicia at all. It’s the perfect opportunity for her to do a little snooping for Father Brown.

She stands and strolls around the desk, scanning the various folders and binders for anything that looks like it might be of use. There’s nothing really, disappointingly, and she’s about to give up and sit back down again before remembering the papers that Sullivan had shuffled away quickly.

She digs them out from under the folder, and holds them delicately, balancing them on her fingertips. Sullivan’s handwriting is so neat it’s almost difficult to read, very swirly and intricate. Someone has taught him penmanship since a young age, clearly.

Felicia isn’t exactly sure what she’s expecting to be on the pages. But what she reads causes her to gasp softly.

Mr. Carter,

I rather dislike you. Sometimes I am sure that I dislike no one more than you. You continually think it’s acceptable to break the law, to spend nights in the cells, and to make yourself a general nuisance to myself and my officers. I fear that I should hate you, even.

And yet somehow I can’t. I’m sorry that I shouted the other night. I’m sorry for losing my temper and saying what I said. My problem is that I care for you, far too much than is allowed. It is my worst nightmare to see you walked into court and carted off to the cells for months, maybe years, maybe more. I know Father Brown has good intentions but you cannot deny that the man is occasionally reckless. And I know you think it’s fun to go along with him. My problem, Carter, is that while sometimes I really do not like you, I am afraid that I’m falling irrevocably in love with you instead.

You make me feel things that I have never felt in my life. Just the sight of you makes my heart beat faster and steals some of my breath away. I feel safe with you, like I could trust you with a thousand secrets and you’d never breathe a word. I feel important, and special, and good enough. I don’t think I’ve ever felt good enough for any one. I find myself wanting to talk to you for hours, and to listen to your views on everything and nothing at all. I think I could sit in silence and watch you and I would still be enthralled.

I have never felt fire like when you kiss me. How am I supposed to go about my day, sitting at this tiresome desk, when all I can think of are your arms around my waist and your lips at my neck? How can I listen to those hopeless love songs they play on the wireless and not want to be held close by you? How has my life been so discontented by something so small?

Perhaps you will think this is silly, and that this is all just a game to you. Well I’m afraid if that is the case then I can’t play it any longer. This cannot be something meaningless or fun to me anymore. My heart won’t settle until it knows you are mine. I am sorry, Sid, for the way I have been recently. But I hope now you understand why, and why truly I cannot help myself. I can only hope my feelings are returned. I am not sure what I will do if they aren’t.

Your Tommy

Felicia drops the letter back on to the desk and swallows thickly. A lump has formed in the centre of her throat, and she feels a little choked up. For someone so cold, stoic, and often emotionless Inspector Sullivan has the burning passion of a classical poet.

She feels rather guilty, then, in that moment. She is occasionally rather dismissive towards the Inspector, irritated by his sometimes contemptuous and ungrateful manner, but now she thinks they have a lot more in common that she had realised. She too knows how it feels to have been so repressed and unloved and neglected for many years. She knows how it feels to have to choke down your feelings, and never let them out. She knows how it feels to hide them behind arrogance, a cold, steel wall that very few get to see behind. A way of protecting one’s self from harm.

And yet she also knows the feeling when someone who just fits appears in your life. Someone who breathes life back into your soul and sets you free on a whirlwind of emotions. It’s a beautiful, if terrifying feeling, falling in love. Especially if it’s with someone who should be deemed entirely inappropriate, and rather criminal. She knows that feeling all too well.

It turns out that Inspector Sullivan is something of a hopeless romantic. She wonders if he’d like to read her novels.

And how wonderful it is that it’s darling Sid. Sid has allowed him to feel like this. Sid has obviously sparked something within him that has made him want to let out all of his emotions rather than keeping them bottled up. Her suspicions about the pair of them were correct. She wasn’t quite sure it had gone as far as it clearly has, but she can’t be anything less than delighted. It’s about time that someone saw Sid for the kind, protective and intensely loving soul that he really is - it was about time someone could return that love with the same ferocity.

Felicia resolves to never tell a soul about this. This is between the two men to sort out. She has no doubts that they will, and by the state of both of them it’ll happen sooner rather than later. She tucks the letter away, back where Inspector Sullivan had hidden it, and returns to her chair.

Sullivan returns moments later, looking a more than a little stressed, and drops himself heavily into his chair.

Thomas, she presumes. Tom to friends, and Tommy to someone who holds his heart in his hands.

Inspector Sullivan takes her statements quickly and tells her she is free to go. Felicia bids the Inspector goodbye far more warmly than usual.

As he escorts her from his office, she notices Sid has wandered in to wait for her. He stands up bolt straight almost immediately, his hands twisting anxiously on his cap. “Your Ladyship.”

Your Ladyship. Felicia tries not to scoff. Such formalities are rare from Sid these days. He also seems to be looking through her, at someone standing behind her. One doesn’t have to be a sleuth of Father Brown’s calibre to work out who exactly.

She also feels the Inspector tense behind her. For a moment they stand in perfect, unmoving silence, gazing at each other.

Sergeant Goodfellow appears to be busying himself with some paperwork on the front desk, but Felicia is sure there is a suppressed smile on his face. She wonders if he knows too.

It is Sergeant Goodfellow who puts them out of their misery. He informs the Inspector that there’s something in the back office that needs attending to, and Sullivan snaps out of his reverie.

“Right, yes. Thank you for your assistance your Ladyship. We’ll be in touch if we need you further.” With one last glance Sid’s way, he disappears into the back of the station.

Sid is staring helplessly at the door the Inspector had ducked in to.

Felicia presses a hand to his cheek. “Sidney,” she calls softly, waiting for Sid’s eyes to tear themselves away from the door and on to her face. “Father Brown is expecting us for elevenses soon, we’d best be going.”

“Right, yes, of course.” Sid bumbles, pulling his hat on quickly and offering her his arm.

Felicia takes it fondly. This is why Sid has been so glum recently. Now she knows it’s his first real lovers’ tiff. She has no doubt that the Inspector’s feelings are returned just as vociferously. What a silly pair.

She’ll make sure Mrs M gives Sid an extra scone to cheer him up.

#father brown #sid x sullivan #sid carter #inspector sullivan #lady felicia #sergeant goodfellow #i love the idea that sullivan is secretly a hugely emotional romantic soul but he just bottles it all up until he has no choice #flexing my writing muscles and im very out of practice but i hope someone enjoys #also i hope the read more works on mobile #PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IT DOENST #will i probably do a sid reply to this?#almost certainly yes #when i dont know #but probably #love letter au

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maevelin · 4 years

Note

Did you ever post In Blood and Sin?

No. The drive I had stored the outline for that story got damaged and I lost everything I had saved in there and I didn’t have any backup for that story. So I kinda of let it go.

But the premise was more or less this:

I remember I was planning for Klaus to create a universal triangle of dark magic in order to bring back Kol. The supernatural hot spot would be Prague that has supernatural history and would be one of the places Klaus has lots of power in and would be known as a neutral ground for all the Originals. A blood pact they had made centuries ago to never harm each other in the borders of that town.

Klaus would need some intricate magical objects to create the triangle that would need him to get to the catacombs of Paris, to the pyramids in Egypt and places throughout the world that would be known to be haunted. He had already gotten what he wanted from New Orleans. And he already had the most important thing too. In order to create a universal triangle of dark magi that would be connected to different natural places in the globe, aside from the dark objects he would plant at the three points of the triangle in the center he would need a supernatural battery that would emit the kind of energy he would have to harness in order to keep the triangle working enough for Kol to be resurrected. That would be the spawn’s bones. In my story the demon baby would have been too powerful for Hayley’s body to be able to carry it to term. It basically sucked the life out of Hayley and wasn’t been able to be born because of it and that’s why the witches wanted it and had the whole curse of it being the end of the witches since its power could create the triangle to begin with. That’s why Klaus wanted the baby so much. In order to use it for canon fodder to bring his brother back. (hold on to that thought.)

Caroline and Stefan would tag along in this adventure. Stefan for Caroline and Caroline of course since she was blood bound to Klaus and Elijah and Rebekah would join them in the future. Klaus shows Caroline the world. Literally. Through cities and the supernatural aristocracy and underbelly. He show her all the potential vampires have and she reminds him how it was to be carefree and less gloom and doom. And their connection grows. Even their dreams and memories interact. As does their desire for each other. Also they kind of share blood constantly which fuels their feelings more.

Only is it love or addiction?

Elijah would help Caroline realize that in order to battle any kind of addiction (as she would be addicted to Klaus’ blood) she would have to find something that she truly wanted more than that. Something stronger that would put the one desire to rest but it would be almost impossible to find something like that and even if she did she’d then be consumed by the other stronger desire which would be just as dangerous if she couldn’t balance it.

In the end Caroline would grow to realize that her inner desire to embrace the vampire who was and could be was much stronger than her blood addiction to Klaus because it was in the end what fueled the addiction to begin with. She’d have to give in to the vampire in order to retain her humanity and freedom and in doing so she realized that what represented that for her was her desire for Klaus himself. Not only his blood but for what he was for her. For how he awakened her darkest desires, for the world he offered, for everything he helped her learn and overcome in their journeys and in the end she’d be free from the blood addiction and Klaus’ hold only because she’d be the one choosing.

Of course the blood addiction was also a spell Rebekah had created in order to avenge her brother because she knew all along what Klaus and Kol had done to Philip because she had heard them that night in the ship and eventually knew this was why Klaus daggered Kol. In order to not lose her because he was afraid she’d find out the truth. Only she knew and she was biding her time. She waited for her brother to finally one day love in the way she did and then she’d take her vengeance and she found that opportunity when Klaus met Caroline and Rebekah saw herself the lengths he was willing to go for her so she wanted to hurt him where it’d hurt the most. In his Original pride and in his delusions over love. Rebekah’s plans would be revealed through her relationship with Stefan.

There would be a fallout between Klaus and Rebekah and even Elijah. But in order to bring back Kol they’d need to unite because the most powerful witch covens in the world would not allow the triangle to happen due to the natural repercussions.

The Originals manage to create the triangle with Bonnie’s help that was willing to do so in order to help Caroline. She’d have followed Caroline to save her from Klaus originally and help her break the blood bound spell even though Caroline managed to do that herself.

The triangle works but the resurrection is not one. Every edge of the triangle brings back an Original. Klaus knew that so he manipulated the two points of the triangle. One brought back Kol. One brought back Henrik. The other? Klaus knew he’d bring back two more so he used Finn’s ashes to bring him back. He was willing to do that in order to bring back all his brothers.

By the time the story ends Klaus and his siblings venture to find their brothers. The triangle worked but because witches intervened those that came back to life are somewhere around the globe and not at the designated points of the triangle that backfired and brought down parts of borders that connect the world of the living with the world of the dead. Basically the magic from the dead bones of the baby detonated and took with it the witches that tried to oppose the triangle and that magic became poison infecting and instantly killing their bloodlines throughout the world. Just as the vampires from Kol’s and Finn’s bloodlines had dropped dead now witches all around the world got infected and died spreading a virus that has the potential to wipe out the whole supernatural world thus bringing the prophecy for that spawn to life (something of that sort anyway because I had seen that from blogs here in tumblr since I wasn’t watching the Originals).

So it basically apocalypse now and because the borders of life and death cracked Mikael and Esther managed to get through too.

So all the Originals are back.

It is war.

Caroline decides to follow Klaus. He doubts her intentions at first believing they are remnants of Rebekah’s spell and her blood addiction but Caroline makes him see this is her choice. Stefan goes with Rebekah and Elijah leaves with Bonnie that through it all has created a supernatural link with those she resurrected from the triangle and has visions of what they see and where they are and somehow it is Kol she is more connected too. Probably because Kol sneaky as he always was managed to use the whole mess in his advantage not only to come back from the dead but also to manipulate the dark magic Bonnie used to his favor and resurrect his powers through her, despite him being an Original Vampire.

The world is a far more dangerous place than every before and the dead are alive.

And that would be an open ending unless I would decide to write a third part LOL

#Klaroline #Klaroline fanfiction #in Blood and Sin #yeah that was meant to be the premise #I had it outlined in chapters #but yeah #that was going to be it lol #Anonymous

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atomicblasphemy · 3 years

Text

Chamomile {Part VI}

Eda and Amity share a cup of tea.

“Well, be my guest. You technically already are my guest, but… Anyway, whenever you’re ready.”

“Yup, she did.”

“Probation? Seriously? Your parents gave you all a rap sheet?”

“I… I know… It really is worse than it sounds. Anyway, two weeks in, I storm into father’s office and tell him everything I knew.”

“Snitch.” Eda snickered.

“Amity, your siblings sound lovely, and they seemed really nice when they came here the other day, and that day at the knee. But I don’t see how this has anything to do with your hair.”

Amity lifted her hand, she didn’t tuck in an lose strands of green this time. She just pointed her finger at the creeping light shade of brown. The line between kin and strangers laid so blurred.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not so sure about that. You have his hair, his eyes. But I also see a lot of Odalia in you. Yup. You really are your mother’s daughter. Physical appearance and personality alike.”

“Wha-What do you mean by that?”

“Really? I… thought I was managing to change any bad first impressions gave you, but...”

Amity’s eyes grew wide. Eda’s grew morose.

“Would you really?”

This had little to do with Luz. Amity and Eda both knew it.

“No… No, I wouldn’t.”

“I… That’s ok… Thank you… Really.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She didn’t meet Amity’s eyes. Trying to put up a front, she continued.

“Now, moving on. Who is this brown haired girl you seem to like so much?”

“I’ve never said that.”

“What?”

“What if I chose wrong?”

“Aren’t you used to it by now?”

“Ouch, you really are brutal, aren’t you?”

“Heh, sorry. But I mean it. Aren’t you? Wouldn’t you do exactly what you’ve been doing? Try and fix it?”

“I guess.”

“So, what’s stopping from asking Luz out? A proper date, that is.”

“Because if rejects me, she’ll be rejecting both my brown and my green hair. I can take it if she rejects the green... The other one… that’s a different story.”

“Ahh… Finally.”

“Well, that’s a pretty harsh way of putting it.”

Chuckling, Eda responds.

“You really think so?”

“Monopoly?”

TEN

The girl didn’t respond. Her head was still going a million miles an hour after hearing Eda’s closing words. After everything she herself had said. This woman, this perfect stranger for the most part. She had told her things she never fathomed she would ever tell anyone. She had been content with the idea of having Luz as a crush, she convinced herself that that would be all she could strive for. All she deserved. Pining from afar. She made peace with being a Blight, with her green hair, and all that this name represented. Still, this woman showed that this mask was but a thin veil. And when the girl herself looked into her very own abyss whilst standing next to Eda, she couldn’t feel the expected repulsion. Eda showed no signs of feeling such things, so why would her? She looked into her own abyss, but it was empty, there was nothing there whatsoever, nothing to look back at her. She looked into her own abyss and couldn’t help but feel as though she should have been looking someplace else all along. Then, through Eda’s help, she realized that that chasm wasn’t everything there was.

Eda was almost leaving the kitchen. The sound of her heels clacking on the wooden floor, further driving the point that their conversation had ended. All she knew about her were the tall tales she had heard scattered here and there, nothing substantial and, specially after tonight, nothing she could vouch for. The footsteps growing ever more distant.

Yet, her mind was made. She felt something for the woman, a kinship she unsuccessfully looked for in her own flesh and blood for all of her fourteen years. She hadn’t forced the girl to say anything, There was no blackmail, no backhanded tricks, none of the familiar coercion. Eda was supposed to be a criminal, the scum of society, but she did none of the tricks the girl would have associate with one fitting this description. On the contrary, what the girl said, she said it willingly. What the girl said, she meant all of it. What the girl said, it needed to be said. She needed to voice the thoughts and clear her throat, clogged for so long, turning her into a gunpowder keg on the edge of exploding if even the slightest extra pressure was added.

Eda was the first one who offer to listen, maybe the first one capable of that. And that’s all she did. The girl knew no explosions would come. She wouldn’t have to meet any dramatic fallout, no blood and guts to mourn when the next drop becomes one too many. That woman, for some uncanny mysterious reason, made sure that would not be the case. The girl couldn’t remember any kindness of this sort.

Eda saw Amity. She saw the Blight too. Not because she had to show her either, not for any tacit obligation but out of pure volition. And she only left when it was for the girl’s own benefit.

In the girl’s mind, although justifications for Eda’s generosity were still foggy, the older witch’s kindness was something to be cherished. Something she was grateful for. She grew so used to the cold that the warmth, first from the daughter then from the mother, felt addictive, she would need more of this. And perhaps this was something she could dub a choice. The ones Eda had pointed out over their conversation stemmed from guts, maybe even from a not yet quite developed rebellion against the greenness of her being. This time, however, the meaning and intention were much clearer to her. It was possible, and that’s the gift she received, first from a daughter, then from a mother.

She jolts up, a long kept storm brewing. A girl, liberated from merciless fate, ran. Eda stood at a juncture at the bottom of the stairways, a path leading up, the one the girl was to take; another leading to the house’s small library and to the living room. For now, the one the girl looked for stood in the crossroads, much like herself. A tall woman, elegant, if uncompromising, youthful, if having had seen so much more than the girl, kind if having no reason to be so. It was as if she expected the girl, as if their last meeting for the night was to take place at that juncture and nowhere else. She showed no signs of being bothered by having the daughter of a pair of life time rivals sullen her dress with what she still had failed to voice, despite the long conversation. Years materialized in a pair of everflowing streams from the girls eyes as Eda held her, the difference in their heights never more evident. She really saw a lot of herself in that girl. She would let her sob and tarnish the dress, that didn’t matter. Maybe it was Eda’s imagination, but she could have sworn to have heard a few “thank you”s in between the visceral sounds reverberating in her womb.

But eventually even that was to run its course. Pushing her away, Eda knelt in front of the girl their eyes leveled at the same height. Holding the girl’s face between her hands, wiping away with her thumbs those few tears that resisted the fabric of her dress. She had nothing else to tell this Amity. She could only repeat her final closing words.

“Go get some rest, you need it, you need a break. You’ll have a big day tomorrow, Amity Blight.”

Seeing the woman’s back disappear into the the bowels of the house, the girl turned to face the stairway. A narrow path leading upwards, to what may just be the biggest decision she had to make so far. She had no name, not here, not now, not yet. But she had her feet, and she could take the first step. The ones following coming more naturally as she shortened the distance between herself and the destination she had chosen.

Luz still laid there, the same relaxed smile on her sleeping face, her hand still open midway between herself and where the Blight had lied earlier. Eda was right, she had a big day tomorrow, she would need as clear a head as she could afford. The girl, the young witch, laid back down again facing the human. She would reach out her hand, shorten the distance even further. But only eventually, not now. She’d need a name before that could happen.

“I thought you left.”

Luz’s eyes sluggishly opened. The girl feared that the girl may have overheard her conversation with her mother. A short emotion that she quickly got the handle of. A warmth stubbornly rising to her face nonetheless.

“Of course not. I’m looking forward to tomorrow, why would I leave?”

To her surprise, her normal abashedness in front of the most powerful human in the Boiling Isles was starting to give way to something else. The familiar burn to her cheeks still unrelenting now.

“I thought you went with King to steal that helicopter he was talking about. Then you’d go to Alcatraz rescue Katara.”

“I… have no idea what no idea what any of that means, Luz.”

The girl answered, particularly curious about the word helicopter. In the morning, she’d have to ask Luz what that was, or maybe King. Maybe that would be more effective than a handful cupcakes for getting into his good graces. Her hand, but a few inches from the one she wanted to hold. What insecurities she had regarding Luz’s knowledge of her conversation with Eda gone altogether. But holding it now was not what she truly wanted, she’d do it only when she knew for certain she herself was the cause for the human’s smile.

“That’s nice, really nice. I’m glad you’re here though. Good night, Amity.”

Luz’s voice falling to a barely audible whisper at the last word. Still, Amity could hear it echoing in her skull. Her mind was clear.

“Good night, Luz.”

Amity finally closes her eyes, slumber fast approaching as she realizes how tired she had truly been. This was a promise of a dreamless night. Just as muscles she never knew were so long started relaxing after so much time, realizing the impossible lightness on her shoulders. Amity needed the rest.

She feels fingers tightening around her own, just as consciousness started to be blur. She doesn’t open her eyes, she knows who they belong to. She was still awake, if barely. She could already dream, she was already doing that. A smile on her face and her belly full of their favorite tea, sleep at last reaches Amity Blight.

{THE END}

#ketsu #amity blight #luz noceda #lumity #edalyn clawthorne

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gayllamafromspace · 4 years

Text

Embrace Your Chaos

(Tissaia De Vries/Reader)

Chapter 5: Master Manipulator

I did not go to sleep, I couldn't. Not with all of the thoughts in my head. I feel like I've made a mistake. I should have lied, but I didn't, and I have no idea what she thinks of me now. It's fine, it will be okay. This just gives me the perfect opportunity to do the spell. I open the book I found the spell in to the bookmarked page. Reading through it, I grab everything I need. Roses, a bowl of water, candles, parchment paper, and a wiring utensil. Carefully, I set up a sort of alter. In the center of the desk is the bowl of water, in a crescent like shape, the candles are above it. Below the bowl to the left are the rose petals, and to the right is the parchment.

Taking a moment to ground myself, as instructed by the book, I close my eyes and take deep breaths. Thinking of nothing, focusing on my breathing, and of clearing my mind. That is very difficult, especially if you have a very active imagination. Eventually, after failing miserably, I imagine myself in a forest, sitting in front of a large tree. In my mind I can smell the damp dirt, hear the slight rustle of leaves, and feel a cool breeze on my skin. It's surreal, and beautiful. There's most, ivy, and beautiful flowers climbing up the trunk of the massive tree before me. The bark twists and bends in intricate waves, up until they're hidden by the leaves and branches. Underneath and around me are leaves, moss, and grass. I feel myself settle, and a peaceful calm comes over me. I open my eyes and smile serenely to myself. I will definetly be doing that more often.

I grab a match and light the four candles from left to right, thinking of my intention. Once all of the candles are lit, I put out the match and grab the piece of paper. Focusing on my intent, I write it down and gently place the paper in the water, letting it sink to the bottom of the bowl in it's own time. Once it has touched the bottom, I pick up the rose petals and begin placing them into the water. As the spell instructed, I held each petal to my chest, whispering Tissia's name and that she will heal. Then I kissed the petal and placed it in water, letting them float on the surface.

Once I finished that, I closed my eyes and recited the old elvin word that the book told me to say. I could feel my energy starting to drain, so I focused on the vase of roses, willing the energy to be taken from them. I feel the energy in the room settle, and I open my eyes. Glancing quickly over at the vase, I see that only 3 out of 8 of them are still alive. It worked. Carefully, I lick my fingers and whisper thanks to the candles, putting them out from right to left.

Being careful not to spill the water, I lift the bowl and carry it over to Tissia, placing it on the bedside table. I gently lift her arm, and remove the bandage. There's some blood still seeping through, but it's still not as bad as the first day. She's been doing surprisingly well considering the extent of the damage done to her arm. Once the bandage was completely removed, I dipped my fingers in the water and held my hand over the gash, letting the water drip into the wound. She stirs, and I look up to see her brows furrow slightly, but she isn't awake. Dipping my hand in the water again, I repeat the process 3 more times.

After that, I take the rose petals and gingerly place them over the wound. Taking a deep breath in, I mutter my intention and the elvin word once more. The rose petals glow a faint gold and then return to normal. The spell is complete, I just need to wrap her back up and wait. Tying the wrap back around her cut, I put her arm back down. I linger slightly, feeling the soft skin of her arm, but I quickly pull my hand away. 'Idiot' I think to myself, walking over to my chair and sitting down. I look out the window at the stars, there are some clouds floating around, but it's relatively clear. Laying my head back, I pull my thin blanket over myself and try to drift off to sleep. It takes a while, the thoughts from before creeping back into my head, but eventually I drift off to sleep.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I wake up to a strange tingly sensation in my arm. I look over, after adjusting to the morning sun pouring through the window, and see that there's a new bandage on my arm. But unlike the last few times (Y/N) had changed it, there wasn't blood. So, either she just changed it, or she did something… either way, I'm glad I'm not wearing a nasty bandage. Looking over to her I rule out one of the options, she's dead asleep. If I couldn't see her breathing I'd think she was.

So the only logical explanation is that she did something. Carefully, I get up and stretch. Then look around. I notice a bowl of water on the bedside table, 4 slightly burned candles on the desk, and an open book. Like any sensible person, I go over to the desk and read the book. It's open on a healing spell that requires the subject to be asleep… that explains it. So she did a healing spell last night. Looking over to the roses, I notice that there are only 3 left alive… a spell like that should have killed all of them. Well, she finally did something! Took her long enouph.

She does look exhausted… but healthy. That's just what happens when an inexperienced sorceress does spells, they are bound to mess something up. Considering who in fact did it, it's unsurprising that she did something wrong. (Y/N) seems to have a knack for messing things up, it's like a special talent of hers. But at least she tried, and it seems she did a good job.

I go over to the bed and pick up the book I was reading last night. If I'm going to be awake, I may as well educate myself. Flipping to the page I left off on, I continue reading. Many of the beasts in this book are just foul, absolutely horrendous. It's a good thing witchers exist, or they'd be running amok. There are a few though that pique my interest, some that aren't even all the horrible.

I spend about an hour reading, but eventually I get bored of that as well. Being cooped up in the room is horrible… I may actually go exploring, maybe find some food for (Y/N) and I. I'll do that, it's best to stretch my legs anyway.

I created a sort of sling for my arm, which is very difficult considering I can only use one of them. I make due though. Eventually, after a lot of struggling, I'm ready, and I make my way out the door. It doesn't take very long for me to run onto a servant. So, I asked them if they could help me to the kitchens to get some food.

The hallways are made entirely of stone, hunks of rock expertly placed together. The servant stayed quiet, so the only sounds that echoed through the hall were our footsteps. Well, at least they are, until the older woman walking beside me decided to make conversation.

"You're one of the Novice mages right?" The woman asks, looking down at me from the corner of her eye.

"Yes, am I expected to be anything else?" I say. I'm curious, but I don't take kindly to being mistaken for a servant girl, if that is what's happening here. The elder woman is quick to remedy her mistake.

"Oh no miss, not at all. It's just unusual to see the Novices wandering the halls alone so early in their time here." She says, a small smile on her face. "You must be one of her top students." I frown at this comment, because I know it's not true. I haven't gotten to learn anything about chaos and magic since I've been here, because someone just had to challenge the Rectoress.

The servant notices the slight change in my facial expression and a look of clarity comes over her face. She looks almost sympathetic, which irritates me. I shouldn't need sympathy, it's unnecessary. The only person who's going to need sympathy is (Y/N) when I'm through with her. She may have been a generous and kind host… and she may seem good at heart… but she is the reason ik in this mess. I mustn't forget that.

"So you're the student that caused trouble then?" The servant says, a small smile on her face. It's quickly wiped away when I glare up at her, hatred burning in my eyes. She mistook me for that dim witted twat?! Really?

"I most certainly am not!" I sneer through barbed teeth. It's outrageous, me? A trouble maker? Not in this lifetime, or any other for that matter. After a moment though, I almost feel bad. A blank look has over cast her features, but I can see the regret in her eyes. She looks me up and down, her eyes lingering on my arm. She hesitates, but eventually she does speak again.

"My apologies miss, I should have payed more attention… I'd forgotten there were two of you." She says, carefully choosing her words. There's a long moment of silence as we continue walking. I can hear clattering and the sounds of people yelling in the distance. The smell of warm food is unmistakable, we've almost arrived at the kitchens.

"You seem like you hate this girl… how have you not killed her yet?" The servant asks me, stopping just before the kitchen doors and turning to me. I turn to face her as well, giving a curt and monotonous answer.

"I do not wish to kill her. I want to get away from her as soon as possible," the woman nods and I continue.

"The only way to get what I want is to pretend that I don't hate her. The sooner I'm healed, the sooner I get to learn. She has to believe she can do magic to be able to heal me."

"So you're manipulating her?" The servant says, a look of concern on her face. I breathe in and nod.

"Yes, I am. If she thinks that I trust her, she will do better. She needs validation." I say matter-of-factly. The servant nods, looking almost saddened. I don't care though, her opinion is insignificant, I have my own problems to deal with.

We enter the kitchens and she tells the cooks to fix some food for me and (Y/N). They don't take too horribly long, apparently they'd still had left over from breakfast. It's not too long until me and the servant woman are on our way back to the room. The walk back is silent the whole way, the servant clearly stuck in her own head.

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