#anyway yeah i love our local cons
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Keep seeing videos of all the big cons over East and like... man. Why did I have to live in the state that has fucking nothing
Don't get me wrong I *love* the small local cons we have here they're so well run, they're really in touch with the local community (*especially* the creative- they're all focused mainly on the artists and local performers and idols and game devs (which could be me soon - id kill to show a game at a local con) and shit which is great) and they arent overcrowded but. God the vibes of PaxAus or Oz Comic Con (the over east versions, not WAs (aka one of the worst cons we get here)) or the fur cons over there is just,,, it's something I *need* to see. There's so many people! It's so fucking huge and the vibes are *incredible* and god I need to move over east or ill die. Actually.
#or just. move out in general lmao#anyway yeah i love our local cons#(shoutout to pixel expo and kaicon. fucking mvps of the perth con scene)#theyre so community oriented and theyre all so queer friendly#(one of them has a mascot thars always wearing a pride flag)#but. i dont know#you get tired of seeing the same 20 retailers at every convention#and the artists change up sometimes but not often#and only one or two pavillions feels kinda small after a while#dont get me wrong theyre doing great shit with what they have#i dont think perth has a large enough community for anything bigger#hell tje fact we have four or five yearly conventions (+ regular events like tokyo alley)#is insane#but. man. idk#i need to go to one of the big ones with industry presence yk#me.txt
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druid grove, part 1
The first real post about my playthrough! woohoo!
So, we made it to the grove. Our party consists of my seldarin drow cleric, my partner's wood elf wizard, Astarion and Shadowheart.
They get attacked
obviously this is the part where you find Wyll
one guy is BEGGING to be let into the grove like this:
We kill the attackers and enter the grove. I talk to the guy who wanted to flee and the guy who did not want to let him in
he's fucking racist against Drow and states "I didn't ask for help" - my dude, w h a t
Anyways, we reached level 3 and my partner is a wizard, so he was reading tooltips for the next 30 minutes. I decided to explore the grove in the meantime.
Side note: my character is not the smartest and fails INT checks due to literal disadvantage. But! Who needs intelligence when you have 🌟faith🌟?
I helped a hopelessly bad fighter fight a little better, he gifted me an axe for that, so that's cool
a bored oxe wants to talk to me, but I can't understand him
Note to self: We're missing a party member that can talk to animals
People here really don't like Drow.
I almost got duped by that con artist kid, though the fact that I missed one perception check tells me that the little shits stole at least SOMETHING from me, 10/10 game
then I ran into a creepy little kid and found the hidden entrance to the Tiefling hideout
in this hideout I found the "boss" of the local crime syndicate. As I told them that they're in a dangerous line of work, they basically responded "you're not my real mom" - fair enough, I guess?
Don Tiefling wants me to steal the ritual stone/artifact/whateveritwascalled to stop the ritual. I'll keep it in mind.
Anyways, we proceeded further into the grove, finding out more about the ritual that is about to happen there.
A Tiefling family was missing their daughter because she too tried to steal the artifact. The druids have her.
Talking to the druids revealed that most of them are racist assholes. Like, 4/6 of the druids are like this and I'm confused, aren't you people supposed to be nature loving hippies??
Rath is begging me to find Halsin, because their new leadership (Kagha) is horrible. Judging from the rest of the druids I've talked to, maybe you got the leadership you people deserve. He is ok though and also wants to stop this ritual. So I guess I'll find Halsin to put an end to this madness.
we find a hidden door where we need a rune to open it. Rath is supposed to have it, but he's not talking to me until I find Halsin.
I wanted to pickpocket Rath, but for some reason, that's not possible
Nettie starts off as another Drow-hater, but reveals that's because she recently got attacked by a mind-flayer-infected Drow. Yeah, fair enough, that's why I'm here
Nettie thinks that apart from the whole mind flayer thing, I look perfectly sane and healthy. I try to tell her that's not the case (memory loss, the urge to kill everyone around me), but she's like "nah it's the mind flayer, can't do anything about it, find Halsin?"
Kagha herself thinks that I'm the second coming of Christ, because I'm a Drow therefore I CLEARLY support her goals, right? Sacrificing the lesser people for the greater good? Doing her dirty work? Yeah? Holy shit, this woman is insane. I wish there was a dark urge prompt at this point.
Shoutout to Astarion, who made snarky remarks all the time
That's where yesterday's session ended. Oh, and we sent Wyll to the camp.
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#I play: Baldur's Gate 3#dark urge#dark urge spoilers#baldur's gate 3#the dark urge
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LA SAGA DE BAGUETTE PART DEUX: BIENVENUE A CHILI'S
It's time to balance our blossoming war with activity micromanagement on a magical, overloaded airship-fortress-sports bar. Y'know, as you do.
The Somniel may not have a Chili's, but they better have a Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie in that kitchen anyway!
...what do you mean Chili's doesn't make it anymore!?
Emblème, Engager!
This enchanted doggo poops out Bond Shards if you feed and pet it. That's nice and all, but can it also poop out Happy Hour priced custom margaritas? Didn't think so.
Yeah, not weird at all /s
Also, can we please just have a normal war camp again??? I'm siding with the Tellius fandom on that one.
After getting acquainted with the Somniel, we begin our journey proper by getting a set of rings from Firene, the perpetual springtime kingdom and also the most peaceful and religious of the lot. Their current monarch is Ève, and her heir is Prince Alfred. We meet him his sister, Princess Céline, and their respective retainer duos after finding out that a local town is being sacked by Corrupted.
Per Lumera, Lythos kept two rings and the other countries got two to three apiece. She kept the ring for Sigurd, and Alear had Marth's on during their epic millenium-spanning post-con crash. For Firene, they have the rings for Celica and Micaiah (the latter we find for ourselves later on, as it's in a shrine at the border).
Here I have Alfred Engaged with Sigurd, and Céline will always enter combat in this Chapter with Celica in tow. Both of them rock their respective outfits well and are also good fits for their respective skillsets. I do find it odd that Sigurd's Engaged hair color is a vibrant lilac though.
I wonder if this crystal is made of trix yogurt?
Here we meet Veyle, our Mysterious Fragile Female Waif-type. As you can see by the BDSM choker and the chains on her legs, she will presumably continue the Great Shouzou Kaga's legacy of women being too "pure" and "innocent" to be evil. As these interviews show, the guy presumably needed to have his teeth pulled out with pliers to even conceive a character like Jugdral's Queen Hilda of Chronos.
This game continues the trend of NPCs having banger designs, and for Firene, this includes a lot of floral prints. I love the dresses, and I'd love a button-up with a pattern like it. The item shopkeeper is also really pretty!
Framme is the only character who sorta responds positively to being gifted horse manure. Sigh.
"Alear has that sadness and longing in his eyes that you only see in eastern European gay porn."
Exercise mini-games, which offer a temporary stat boost. Here we have Alear doing push-ups in improper form. Most of the Somniel activities are more valuable for grinding up Bond Fragments more than the activity itself, although fishing is a nice extra spot for cooking ingredients.
In contrast to her daughter's absurd gown, Queen Ève's is nicer, and also has a prettier color palette.
We are introduced to our smex appeal female henchman of the game, Zephia. I will be inevitably disappointed when we are forced to see her sob backstory and be forced to sympathize with her.
She's also voiced by Elizabeth Maxwell in English, and while I know she's had many, many roles, I still mainly hear P5's Sae Niijima, which in this case is kind of hilarious.
This line is actually pretty funny. And hey, if Alfred actually didn't have the capacity of trampling over people like Sigurd himself did, lance abilities, or a workout routine that would presumably fit right in on TikTok, then Nelucce would have a leg to stand on!
Hopefully his passing was uneventful and not the stuff of nightmares, like poor Cornelius.
...Is Vander a cat???
In good old Post-2012 FE fashion, we have a Paralogue off the beaten path to do before running to the border to get Micaiah's ring. And in said same fashion, this map is where we recruit our steroid-injected child who presumably got Tommy John surgery at the age of seven under the pretense that it would allegedly enhance their performance. Yes, I do like baseball actually.
Anyway, our trainee unit for this game is Jean, and he is my new fictional son. I love him. I also love his hot dad and his drip.
Alear raids a farm at night and steals a nice, light, feathery cock. Kinda shocked we don't have more memes of Alear hoarding animals for the Somniel's farm.
Hiyah Papaya, it's time to meet Yunaka, who's actually one of the best characters AND units in this game, despite having one of my least favorite designs, but that's also the power of a good story and good voiceover work (Laura Post in this case) for you.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about Emblem Micaiah, who, like some of the other Emblems, is presented here in sanitized fashion. Yunaka enters the scene Engaged with her, which is convenient as Micaiah's Shine tome lights up this Fog of War Map.
Also, Fog of War maps are back. Sweet.
Veyle is back. Another plot trinket is bestowed upon us. The vivid red shade presumably denotes that it's eeeeeeviiiiilllll.
Another Paralogue before we wrap things up and head to Brodia, and it's Anna's. We get a refreshing change of pace with a female bandit boss and some female bandits, which is pretty cool actually. She even has a 9/10 design.
The remaining 1 point was knocked off for the micro hot pants.
I didn't bother with screenshots, but Anna is a viable playable unit after being completely shitty in 3H. She's a pretty mixed bag in terms of stats, but her Personal Skill is extremely useful providing her Luck levels up (She can plunder 500 gold from an enemy she defeats off a percentage of her base Luck stat). This also might be the most likable Anna so far...not that that's a very high hurdle to clear.
Her being 11 in this game is also still odd, but she got a far better and less rotten English VA out of it in the end.
And that wraps up the Firene Arc. Next time, we head to Brodia, the testosterone-poisoned Sparta analogue. What rings will their royals have, and will they be as inoffensive and mild as -
...wait.
I hear rattling.
Rolling along the grass, over there...
Is that...a bracelet...?
...oh no.
ALEAR NO -
#fire emblem engage#fe disengage#alear fire emblem#moomoorn plays viddie games#moomoo's dumb opinions#long post#alfred fire emblem
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Patlabor: The Mobile Police
I got back from Novegro Comics Festival with the best revenue I made at a convention so far- and a couple of Game Boy imports for good measure. XD I stayed there at the retrogaming booth before the con would open to the public checking each and every cartridge while chitchatting with the seller. I love when cons have that "calm before the storm" where booth owners can actually talk with eachother and share passions!
Anyway, here's one of the new additions to my collection: I managed to get another anime tie-in, though Patlabor is known to be so much more.
Created by the mangaka collective Headgear, Patlabor was a prominent media empire of the late 80s/early 90s spanning from a classic manga and anime to several OVAs, games and toys. It's a cyberpunk mecha saga, different from its contemporary counterpars Mazinger and Daitarn as it focused much more on the daily lives of human protagonists and the world around them, the Labor mechas only costituting a series of machines of in-universe contemporary technology and therefore not as special. So yeah it had a slow plot… but the visuals were something else!
Italy loves giant mecha anime (we even have our own term for it) and couldn't pass up on the occasion to bring Patlabor to our screens. Both the OAV and the anime got translated in their entirety, although while the OAV quickly got a broadcast in 1994 on local channels, we had to wait until 2012 for the anime, which got distributed in DVD.
Videogames are another story, we didn't get a single one of them for the usual reason that translating a cartridge game in italian, no matter how popular, would always result in a loss due to extra manifacture expenses. Geeze, the more I look for new games, the more I realize it was a miracle we at least had Pokèmon translated!
The Game Boy chapter, subtitled "The Targeted Street", was the second game dedicated to the series and got published in 1990 directly by Headgear. Being this an early title of the series and also an early release on the handheld console, I can maybe excuse its overall simplicity; however, it is also true that Patlabor looks so barebones in its gameplay to become rather boring and apparently, reviews of the time also weren't really pleased by it.
The game lets the player move their mecha in some sort of top-down view board with the objective of defeating every other enemy Labor robots. Once in combat, the view switches to the side and the player selects a series of attacks which will be executed in turn with the adversary… and that's it, rinse and repeat.
There's some minor RPG elements in the form of new skills and more resources for the player's mech, but that's really all there is. Which is sad because considering how refined the world of Patlabor is, you'd at least expect some more depth to its interactive adventures.
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serotonin boost prompt whenever you find the time: gallavich date with secret smiles, sweet kisses and the handholding we all deserve ❤️❤️
"We're gonna miss it, Mickey," Ian says for at least the third time, eyes on the ever-ticking clock over their fireplace. Mickey, kneeling on the floor in front of the worn sofa they had grabbed off a curb when they found out they had to get their own, just shrugs. He picks out a bright red crayon to pass to Franny, who's laying on her stomach next to him scribbling on the back of an ad for the local co-op.
"Calm down, man," he tells Ian. "She'll be here soon, can't do anything about a late train."
Ian sighs, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes. "Since when do you stand up for Debbie?"
Mickey eyes him warily from the floor. "Since it's not her fault," he answers, then asks, "Why you so worked up about it, anyway? It's not a big deal."
He sounds honestly confused, and it only makes Ian more upset. This was supposed to be their night. Their one night, all week, to just do something nice together. And Debbie had to come to them for last-minute babysitting while she went to an interview, then had to be late enough getting back to send all Ian's plans circling the drain.
He doesn't say any of that to Mickey. "It's nothing," he mumbles instead, knowing it sounds unconvincing but not really caring at the moment.
Sure enough, Mickey's eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to reply, but gets interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Mommy!" Franny cries, jumping off the floor to race to the apartment door. Mickey is slower to rise, grumbling about getting too old for sitting on the floor; if Ian we're in a better mood, he'd tease him for being perfectly fine with lying on it the other night. Ian stays put, leaving Mickey to follow their niece with a concerned glance back at him.
Ian listens to Mickey opening the door, reminding Franny to let him do it, and greeting Debbie. He knows if he followed, he'd say something about her tardiness, so he lets Mickey make his excuses and wave the two of them off.
He braces himself when he hears the door click closed again, and Mickey's footsteps come back around into the living room.
Mickey doesn't say anything about his sour mood.
"Kay, you ready?" he asks instead, grabbing his wallet from the crate temporarily serving as a coffee table.
Ian laughs humorlessly.
"I was ready an hour ago," he points out dryly. "But we missed our reservation already, Mick, we're not going anywhere now."
Mickey frowns at him. "Nah, fuck that, man," he says. "This is our night, right?" he asks, and Ian would be lying if he said that didn't warm him up a little, hearing Mickey call it that.
"Yeah," he agrees, and Mickey nods decisively.
"Let's go then," he orders, gesturing to the door. "I ain't givin' up on tonight that easy."
Ian can't help but grin, even as he asks, "go where?"
Mickey smirks, and slaps Ian on the ass when he gets up and walks past him. Ian starts, twisting to look at him with wide eyes, and Mickey waggled his eyebrows just to make Ian laugh.
"You let me worry about that, tough guy."
--
They end up outside the restaurant they had picked out together, some weird new mexican fusion place that advertised world-class margaritas. Mickey had gotten fond of the drink back in Mexico, and Ian figured it was something they could enjoy together.
"Mickey," he says as they get closer, " it took us two weeks to get in here, there's no way they held our table."
Mickey shakes his head. "Gallagher, I'm disappointed in you," he says as he leads Ian to the door. "Ain't conning you way into places your family's shtick?"
Ian just looks at him, brow furrowed, and Mickey rolls his eyes.
"Just hang back a sec, til I wave you over, alright?" he demands. "Watch and fuckin' learn."
And he's off, through the crowd at the entrance and straight up to the podium at the front. Ian can't hear what he says, but there are some wild gestures and hushed but tense words exchanged. At one point, Mickey gets out his phone and taps at it impatiently, pretending to wait for a response before waving it in the host's face.
That bit seems to do the trick, and Ian is waved over, picking his way through the other waiting groups without looking any if them in the face.
When he gets to the front, Mickey is saying, " and you're lucky he didn't have to hear any of that 'overbooked' bullshit, he'd have your fuckin' job for that," before taking off into the restaurant with Ian trailing behind.
He stops at a booth toward the back, and gestures Ian in first, sliding into the bench on the other side.
"What did you do?" Ian hisses lowly, leaning across the table toward him.
Mickey grins, and taps their feet together, catching one of Ian's and drawing it back to his side.
"Told 'em you were Ed Sheeran," he jokes. He reaches under the table to grab Ian's leg, pulling his foot up to rest on Mickey's lap. Ian has to lean back to make it comfortable, but the stroke of Mickey's thumb against the bone of his ankle is worth it.
"You did not," Ian pokes, but Mickey shrugs.
"Does it matter?" he asks quietly as a waiter approaches. Ian pulls his leg back, aware of how they must look, but takes Mickey's hand over the table instead.
"Guess not," he accepts, squeezing Mickey's fingers and feeling the metal of his ring. "Thanks," he adds, and Mickey's smile turns soft.
"Anytime," he murmurs, then grabs the menu to give his order.
--
"That was amazing," Ian groans an hour later, a stack of empty plates between them. Mickey hums his agreement, taking a final bite of fried ice cream dessert before tossing his spoon down with a clatter.
"Fuck yeah it was," he says with a burp that has the couple at the nearest table eying them with distaste. "Except the margaritas," he adds with a scowl, taking a long drag from the bottled beer they had quickly switched to. "Too fuckin' sweet."
"Thought you liked 'em sweet," Ian teases, leaning closer, and Mickey licks his lips.
"Nah," he says slowly, "that's just how I like my men." He winks, and Ian flushes immediately.
"Oh my God," he manages to squeak out, hands flat on the table. "You did not just say that."
Mickey laughs, open and free, and grabs Ian's hand again without prompting.
"The drinks were shit, though," he muses. "Now that I think of it, maybe I was just drinkin' straight tequila down south."
It's Ian's turn to laugh--"only you, Mick"--and they're both grinning like fools when he stops.
"Ready to get outta here, Red?" Mickey murmurs, tilting his head toward the end of the booth.
"Sure, Mick," Ian agrees easily, then let's go if his husband's hand to fumble for his wallet. "Let me just..."
"Hey, no," Mickey interrupts. "They gave away our reservation, man, we ain't payin' for shit."
"What--Mickey!" Ian whispers, but Mickey is already up and moving quickly toward the back, where he catches the door to the kitchen before it closes behind a surprised waiter and slips inside.
With a muffled groan, Ian takes off after him.
He almost makes it, but before the door shuts behind him, he hears the host yelling, "Hey, you can't go in there!"
"Shit, shit, shit," Ian mutters, faced with at least one sous-chef staring at him across the bustling kitchen. Before he has time to panic, though, Mickey is back at his side, grabbing his arm and pulling.
"This way, dipshit!" he hisses as they wind through counters and racks and boxes toward the door to the back alley. "Should've known you'd get caught," he pants, out of breath, "it's the fuckin' hair, man, too bright."
"You like my hair," Ian offers stupidly. Mickey stops long enough to make sure Ian sees him roll his eyes, and grabs a folded tablecloth and a bottle of something fancy from next to the door before he shoves it open with a hip and pulls Ian out into the cool night air.
Ian looks back for pursuit, but the kitchen workers couldn't care less. One of them even salutes him with a bread knife, lips twitching, until the door closes and breaks their line of sight.
They run for a few blocks anyway, until Mickey tugs him into a different alley to catch their breaths.
"That was some date night," Ian pants, hands on knees and a wide grin on his face.
"Night ain't over yet," Mickey disagrees. He pushes off the brick wall he had leaned against, motions back to the street with the arm not holding what he pilfered from the restaurant kitchen. "C'mon, man, we got somewhere to be."
Then he's off again, albeit at a more sedate pace, and Ian laughs again as he follows. He catches up with a few long strides and grabs Mickey's hand, letting his husband lead him once again.
--
This time, they wander farther, only stopping when they come to a park with overly green grass and a neatly manicured baseball diamond.
It isn't their field, the one with the dugout they used to frequent; that field is back Southside, and they haven't walked that far. But it's close, and Ian's heart pounds as Mickey leads him around the open fencing and toward the outfield.
They stop at the greenest point, and Mickey releases Ian's hand to throw down his stolen tablecloth, kicking the edges until it's more or less flat and open. He plops down immediately, just off center, and motions for Ian to do the same as he uses his pocket knife to uncork the stolen bottle of booze.
Ian sits as Mickey takes a swig of the mystery liqour, then accepts the bottle when he passes it over.
"This is nice," he says after a long sip of what turned out to be a moderately pleasant red. "How did you know it was here?"
Mickey reaches for the bottle again, taking another swallow before he answered. "Was helping Debs look at schools," he admits. "For Franny, when she's older."
Ian doesn't press. He loves how much Mickey dotes on their niece, but he knows talking about it makes him uncomfortable still, their own future hanging over them.
He lays down instead, and looks up. The stars are out, glittering above them in patterns he doesn't understand, but thinks must mean something good.
"Thanks for tonight," he says softly to the sky.
The tablecloth rustles as Mickey leans on his elbows next to him.
"Anytime," he replies. He looks down at Ian, and turns on his side so he can brush red hair back from his face.
"Gonna tell me why you were so upset, earlier?" he questions, voice light but serious. "Not like you to freak out like that."
Ian nuzzles into the hand on his face, and closes his eyes. "Just wanted to do something for you," he admits. "You were so excited about finding that place. And you're always doing stuff like that for me."
His eyes flutter open again, fixing on Mickey's face. "Figures the first time I try, everything goes wrong and you have to take over again."
Mickey doesn't respond right away. He watches him, thumb stroking his cheekbone, hand curling around behind his ear.
When he does speak, it's quiet. "I like doin' that shit for you, Ian," he says. "Makes me...happy. To see you smilin'."
Ian's lips stretch into a gentle curve, and Mickey returns it. "Yeah," he whispers, leaning down until their noses brush. "Like that," he finishes, the words lost against Ian's lips as they kiss.
Ian doesn't know how long they stay there, laying on that thin piece of fabric over the grass, making out under the stars. He doesn't care. Because it's Mickey. And despite everything that went wrong tonight, being there with Mickey was perfect.
They're eventually interuppted by what feels like rain, but turns out a second later to be the timed sprinkler system switching on. Mickey yelps into his mouth at the cold water as they break apart, scrambling to dash across the field and to the relative safety of the sidewalk. They leave the tablecloth where it is, a sad heap if fabric wet with water and remainder of their overturned bottle of red wine, and fall against each other as they turn to head toward home.
"Still wanna thank me?" Mickey jokes on the way, teeth chattering as his skin dries.
"Yeah, I do," Ian says, nudging him with a hip before pulling him back, wrapping a long warm arm around his shoulders.
"Tonight was perfect."
And if they stop again to kiss against under the L on their way, Mickey's back pressed to the support and legs hugging Ian's waist, well. It is still their night, after all.
#writing at work while I wait on things#so if there are weird autocorrects please ignore them#that's also why it's long and rambly😅#daily speedwrite#gallavich#mickey milkovich#fanfic#ian gallagher#mickey saves date night
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somewhere only we know
This is my entry for the B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange and it's for lovely Johanna aka. @amyscascadingtabs <3 I picked the prompt: "Jake and Amy going on a babymoon and enjoying some time together before everything changes for good."
It's very simple and just pure good, happy parents to be-vibes so yeah :) I initially wanted to add smut but didn't have the time to write it :(( If you feel like it's something you'd like, then feel free to lemme know! I can always add a chapter two heh. Anyways, enjoy!!
Rating: G
Words: 2.7k
Read here or on Ao3
“Jake, this is… amazing.”
This seems to be all Amy can come up with as the hotel room presents itself before her. Better or bigger words seem to be lacking from her otherwise excellent vocabulary but she blames it on the fact that she’s been carrying a tiny human for the past 35 weeks - not that she’s complaining. It’s been hard, both physically and mentally, and there are a few more weeks to go but by the end of it all, she’ll be holding her little baby boy.
She’s tired and every inch of her body swollen and/or sore, but more importantly she’s eager and excited. Jake is too, if not even more than her, and this has resulted in the current scene: their babymoon.
“You like it?”
The way Jake asks her, eyes shining with innocent expectation and voice laced with childish excitement has her imagining just how their little boy will turn out to be. She can’t hold back her smile. This man will walk to the end of the earth to make her happy, essentially already has during this pregnancy, and the babymoon is just as much for him as it is for her.
She turns on her heels to face him, showing him the bright smile that’s plastered on her makeup-free face which has gained some freckles during her pregnancy.
“You could’ve planned a trip to a dumpster and I would still love it.”
Hands cupping his scruffy cheeks she pulls him in for a short but tender kiss that even so many years later, after thousands of kisses, has his toes curl in excitement. She truly would’ve stayed anywhere as long as Jake was with her. Although she does appreciate the fact that she’s standing in a beautiful lakeview suite at the LakeHouse Inn.
“Should we reassess how much we refer to dumpsters and other gross locations when we declare our love for each other?”
She chuckles at his comment, lips resonating against the corner of his grin.
“Should we?” She slowly slides her hands to the back of her neck, entangling her fingers to keep her latched onto him even as she pulls away to flash him a pretend contemplative expression.
Eyebrows cocked in playfulness, they share an indicative look in silence, only for them to break it in unison. “Nahh.”
“Right? It’s what makes us us.” Jake pulls her in by the hips which are carrying their son.
Everything about Amy reminds him of their little miracle and makes him feel all tingly and excited. One look at her, one touch, and he forgets about the rest of the world and its crappiness. He has Amy and together with the tiny human in her belly, she is his entire universe.
“Exactly.”
She closes the gap between them (as much as she can with the full-blown balloon shape of her stomach).
“So,” she mumbles against his lips, “what are your plans for us?”
Sadly, the 3-hour drive from home didn’t do wonders for her heavily pregnant body and even though she won’t admit it out loud, she hopes her husband’s plans for tonight will demand the bare minimum of her. She feels his lips and body withdraw, prompting her eyes open however the mischievous smile that meets her has a dimmed anxious feeling creeping over her - he does remember she’s 35 weeks pregnant, right?
“I know that look, Peralta.” Her voice is distrustful, and after 7 years together she should know better than giving in to his teasing, but her suspicious air only fuels his fire and desire to mess with her.
“In honor of my incredible and always so organized wife, there’s a tightknit schedule waiting for us.”
Tightknit schedule? Amy would usually be beaming at these words but right then and there, swollen legs, hungry and feeling everything but hot and fit after the drive, she aches to fall back onto the bed and sleep for days. It’s huge, king-sized, with crispy white sheets and the fluffy pillows are definitely calling her name. Although, the fact that Jake has everything planned out for their last vacation together, just the two of them, does pull on some heartstrings. He loves her so much and she loves him so much too. So much that she (almost) doesn’t turn a hair when he proudly starts listing their schedule for the evening and following day.
“So right now it’s 4 PM which means unpacking-time. At 6 we have a dinner reservation at this cute little restaurant in a little town nearby so we’ll need to leave at approximately 5.45. At 8 there’s a showing of Die Hard at the local movie theater, which I thought we could attend?”
Okay, maybe her left eye flinches at this but very discreetly (or so she chooses to believe).
“Then tomorrow there’s breakfast at 7, which is perfect because we have canoeing on the lake at 8.30...”
She zones out after this. Hormones, tiredness, the fact that she can’t feel her feet- there are a thousand reasons but Amy can feel the most is tears prickling, threatening to spill. Not because she doesn’t appreciate her husband’s efforts and grand gestures, all for her, but because she can’t stand the thought of doing any of these sweet things he’s planned for them. She can’t cry though. He’s going to think something is actually wrong.
“Babe?”
However far gone she was, the sound of Jake’s voice pulls her back in and there’s a confusing mixture of mischief and pure adoration shining from these famous deep brown eyes. Why is he almost smiling when she’s having a tiny meltdown?
“Are you crying?”
“No?” she scoffs although she’s proven wrong upon touching her cheek where her fingers are met by a thin wet streak. “I’m just,” she clears her throat in hopes of avoiding a strained voice, “so overwhelmed by happiness and everything you’ve planned for us. It all sounds… great.”
Silence dawns upon them as Amy’s fake smile tries to convince him. On his part, Jake is biting his lip in an attempt to hold back a laugh, but his wife’s panicked look and teary eyes have him failing to last and after a couple of seconds he breaks the quietness.
“Honey, I’m messing with you,” he chuckles and quickly pulls her back in for a tight hug, as tight as the belly allows, pecking the top of her head. “I know you love a good schedule but the only plans I have for us are: staying in bed, ordering room service, and watching tv.”
“Oh, thank God.”
The moan of relief flies out of her before she can even consider how it must sound to Jake, a great deal of embarrassment hitting her upon realization. She just made it sound like she wouldn’t appreciate her husband’s effort to make this weekend of theirs the best.
“Jake, I’m so sorry! I didn’t-”
She pulls back to look him in the eyes, ready to offer a sincere apology for her blunt exclamation. She never gets to. Instead, she’s met with a huge grin and her husband looking everything but mad or hurt. Almost as if he knew. He knew how she’d react. He wanted her to react.
“You sly sneak! You knew you’d freak me out!”
Only her husband can trick her like this, and, on one hand, it’s very endearing... Jake Peralta is more than just a good cop; he’s excellent. Brilliant and bold, maybe even too much sometimes, although he usually gets away with it. Usually, she’s always on his heels and she hates to admit it, but her mommy brain and restless hormones are making it much harder, if not impossible, to keep up with his always upbeat pace.
“Of course I knew, babe.”
No matter how hard she tries, she can’t even find it within herself to be genuinely annoyed with him. He’s pulled her back into his arms and is looking at her with that mischievous smile that can both infuriate and enchant her. Tonight it’s a little bit of both although mostly the latter, she has to admit and the last bit of annoyance melts away the second he leans in, offering her a soft kiss that lets reminds her of the fact that he’s the best thing in the whole damn world.
“I love you,” she manages to mumble against his lips before he can pull too far back, her swollen fingers cradling his jaw to emphasize her words. It tampers with any kind of reasoning and her ability to remain miffed.
“I love you too...” her husband mumbles back against her lips.
Pulling away isn’t an option, he’s too addicted and he enjoys feeling the air coming from her nose when she chuckles. “How much?”
“At the very least enough to not make my heavily pregnant wife canoe around a lake.”
“Peanut and I appreciate that very much.”
Although after all these months there’s a comfort and familiarity in being able to rub her belly and know her son is in there, safe and sound, knowing he soon enough will be out here in the real world with them has butterflies fluttering in her chest. Jake’s hand joining hers in stroking her belly only causes the number of butterflies to multiply, explode all over again, and her hormones are making her question whether she wants to cry or laugh - or perhaps do both. After such a long wait, from the second they decided to start trying, there’s no blaming her impatience. There’s so much to expect and patience has never been her strongest asset. Only when it comes to Jake and their son. She’s impatient to see, hear and feel it all. The life and adventure she’s created with the man she loves the most seems scarily close yet torturously far away.
With no reason to leave in sight, Amy finds herself bundled up in a hotel bed sent from heaven, wearing nothing but panties and her favorite nursing bra. Jake is on an errand run to grab her the creme cheese-filled pierogis and Arroz con Leche their son and she are very much craving. Although she does prefer her abuela’s homemade version of the latter, even a pregnant Amy can come to terms with the fact that there are limits to Jake’s super husband-powers. He can and will get her almost anything as long as physically possible - or within a radius of 20 miles which Abuela Dolores at this given time for good reasons isn’t.
Amy had insisted on the hotel’s room service menu being more than fine, but her husband knows her all too well and could tell she wasn’t content with the ravioli and créme brulée she’d originally settled for. Before she could even begin to protest his offer to run out and get it for her, her husband had pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a hoodie, grabbed his keys, and left her behind with a peck to the top of her head and a promise to be back in not too long.
In all honesty, the ravioli and creme brulée would’ve been fine, and she would’ve preferred Jake to be here to cuddle her. Nonetheless, there’s no denying how loved and important Jake makes her feel. Especially when he suddenly walks in the door, multiple plastic bags hanging on his arms and car keys dangling from his mouth. The view is hilarious, to say the very least, and she wonders: how did she ever get so very lucky?
Perhaps she will never know the answer to this. Luckily when you’re cuddled up in a soft hotel bed eating pierogis, fries, grapes, and Arroz con Leche with the love of your life, it doesn’t really matter how you got there. Being too busy talking, eating, and making out, the documentary about the history of paper Amy’s been dying to watch is mostly just background noise.
“Can you believe we’re having a baby?”
Her husband’s mouth is filled with fries and before she can even think of answering his question, she has to reach over to wipe ketchup from the corner of his mouth.
“Yes… but also no. In a good way.”
It’s true. She always knew she wanted kids but wanting is one thing; actually outliving it still seems surreal to her, even as she runs her hands around the curve of the skin encapsulating their very own little human being. What makes it so much more surreal is the fact that Jake Peralta is the father. Jake Peralta, the guy who she 6 years ago could only pine for. Now she’s lying in bed with him, watching him smile at her with those soft, brown eyes and warm rosy lips that she not so secretly hopes their son will inherit. He swiftly wipes oil and salt off his fingers before reaching over to place his hands on top of her belly. Placing hers on top of his happens like a newfound reflex of hers. His hand is warm and feels like home.
“This is probably the last getaway we’ll have, yanno, just the two of us.”
His soft voice has her looking up from their joined hands on her belly to see him looking directly at her with glistening eyes, the blue light from the television casting a blue hue on the side of his head. He looks so handsome, pensive, so perfect and she can’t come to terms with the fact that he’s her’s and she his, and together they’ve created new life.
“Yeah. More likely than not.”
“How do you feel about that? Are you scared? You know- of giving birth and how life will be after that?”
A few beats of silence go by, only the dull sound of the tv filling the otherwise silent room. His hand never slips out of from beneath hers. Does this question maybe reflect some worries of his?
“Not scared, per se...”
She quickly makes sure that there’s no food in-between them before scooting in closer to him. Her hand slips off of his only to slide up his arm, all the way up to cup his face. There’s close to no room between them. Her thumb dances across his cheekbone.
“... Excited, maybe a bit anxious, but I know it’ll be alright and so very worth it in the end. And yeah, our life nd dynamic might have to change a bit but it’ll always be us. But I’m not scared,” This seems to put a damper on his running mind. “And you know why?”
“Hm?”
“Because I have the world’s best baby daddy.”
As hoped a wide smile lights up his face, pure unadulterated joy so obviously present in this little moment of theirs. Worries seem irrelevant and non-existing.
“Are you worried, babe?”
She sees his smile fade a bit but not enough to genuinely worry her. Just like everyone, he has his thoughts and worries. With care comes worries. He wants to do his best, she knows.
“Maybe a bit, you know? Like not genuinely worried like I would’ve been a few years ago, but just… averagely worried.”
“That’s okay,” she comforts, her thumb still tracing smooth lines on his cheek. “It’s normal. It just means you care and want to do good, which is all I can really ask of you.”
“I do care. A lot. So so much,” he chuckles shyly.
“Which is also why you’re going to be fine, I will be fine and everything will be fine.”
She doesn’t give him the time to agree nor protest but instead leans in to place a long, tender kiss on his lips, inviting him to join in on the moment. It’s just a simple kiss, soft, like the one they had a Shaw’s after agreeing to stop trying (which eventually lead to more trying, but that’s beside the point). With every breath, they take the kiss grows deeper, longer. It’s as if their bodies are aware of the fact that this will be the last time they get to do this without a child to get home to; without the responsibility of being a parent. All at once, it’s frightening but also, more than anything, exciting. Their lives might be on the verge of changing forever. Although lying there in bed together, feeling the soft touch of their spouse, it feels like they’ve never changed and never will. They’re always going to be Jake and Amy.
#B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange#b99#brooklyn nine nine#jake x amy#peraltiago#fluff#brooklyn nine-nine#jake and amy#mac peralta#baby peraltiago#oneshot
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The Babysitter
Warnings: NON-CON, Dark!College!Peter, mentions of abuse/abusive relationships, slight age gap
!!! Please don’t read if any of this offends you !!!
summary: You are Peter’s first and only love, and all he ever wanted was to show you how much better it could be.
~
Peter Parker was a sweet kid, always had been. Maybe referring to him as a kid was a bit dramatic of you considering you were only four years older than him. But you had met the sweet brown eyed boy when he was in fact a kid. Eleven to be exact.
You recalled the way his eyes had widened up at you when he opened the door, a flush climbing over his cheeks as he nervously stammered. There was a bit of a sparkle in his eyes, a dazed look that made you chuckle. However, that dazed look was gone the minute his aunt informed him that you were there to watch him.
“A babysitter?” he had scoffed, face even redder.
You remembered how he had pouted and complained as you sat your backpack down, but his aunt wouldn’t budge. It had taken him more than an hour to finally leave his room again, reluctantly joining you in the living room.
“Pizza?” you offered him.
He eyed it for a bit before accepting, a pout still on his face. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you. The both of you just sat on the floor, watching tv and eating pizza as you waited for Ms. Parker, or May as she preferred, to come back.
“I’m too old for a babysitter,” he’d said after some time.
A slow smile crept over your lips, and you nodded in agreement.
“I think so too, but your aunt is just worried about you, is all.”
“I’m not a baby,” he protested, still refusing to look at you.
“Noo, but…what if something happened while you were here alone? What if you got hurt…and no one was around to call her?”
He was quiet for a minute before pulling his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.
“She just wants you to be okay, Peter,” you reasoned with him.
“So that’s why you’re here? To protect me?” he questioned, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.
You swallowed a chuckle but nodded anyway.
“Yeah, Peter. I’m here to look out for you. Just think of me like a guardian…”
“Like a knight,” he suddenly said, nodding.
“Exactly,” you replied, reaching for a piece of pizza.
The two of you didn’t talk much for the rest of the night, but when his aunt came back home, he looked sad to see you go. Many of the nights after went much like that one had, but eventually, he warmed up to the idea more and more.
He always opened the door for you seconds before you could even knock, like he was waiting for you. That flush hardly ever left his face, and you soon became used to the sight of his red visage whenever you were near. The nights you watched him became less quiet and more rowdy.
You’d spend hours arguing over cartoons and other meaningless stuff. It only got worse when he got his first video game, and the competitive side in both of you reared its ugly head. Eventually, you became less of a babysitter and something more like a friend.
He started to talk to you about school and how left out he felt sometimes. You didn’t like nights like those, because they always made you sad. Peter was a sweet kid. He was smart and funny, and you told him that, encouraging him to make friends with people who liked the same things he liked. You knew he was a bit nerdy, but so were you, and you’d been where he was once upon a time.
Time seemed to fly by, and it wasn’t long before your senior year of high school had come. Despite how hectic it was to prepare for graduation and everything, it never interfered with the nights you watched Peter. You supposed that it came at a good time, because he was going to be 14 soon, and May had already mentioned she felt he was long ready to be at home alone. Truth be told, you were surprised you’d held your job for as long as you had, but part of you knew why that was.
It was no secret that Peter had a crush on you. He always looked at you like you hung the moon and was constantly craving your approval on just about everything. He’d done a good job of keeping the heat off of his face whenever you were around, but sometimes it would slip through anyway. You would never embarrass him about it though. It was cute. After all, you could remember some of your own childhood crushes, and maybe one day Peter would look back on it laugh at the crush he’d had on his babysitter.
You’d never considered that it could be anything more. He was just a kid, after all.
“You’ll…you’ll still come see me, right?”
The both of you were sitting on the couch, a large pizza between the two of you. You’d ordered it, feeling nostalgic for the first night you’d come over. Tonight was your last night. You’d be graduating in 3 weeks and off to the local college about a month after that.
You looked at him, feeling your heart clench at the way he wouldn’t meet your eye, just like that first night 3 years ago. You ruffled his hair, and he grumbled, pushing your hand away.
“Of course, I will. I’m only going up the street, Peter,” you said, stuffing your face.
He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes focused on the tv.
“Yeah, but… You’ll make new friends. College friends…and…you’ll meet college guys and stuff,” he mumbled.
You eyed him.
“That may be, but if I’m being honest here, you’re practically my only friend,” you confessed.
He whipped his head around to face you, eyes wide.
“Really?”
You chuckled with a nod.
“Yup! They always told me I wouldn’t leave high school with the same friends I went into it with. I never thought they’d actually be right,” you sulked.
“…but you still have me.”
You grinned at him.
“Yeah, I still have you. Believe me, I am going to still come around because someone has to make sure you stay out of trouble.”
Peter rolled his eyes, tossing his crust back into the box.
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “I don’t care what the reason is, as long as you don’t forget about me.”
“How could anyone forget Peter Parker? Don’t be silly,” you laughed.
He didn’t join you, and you looked at him curiously as he suddenly turned his body around to fully face you. You found yourself smiling at how much he’d grown in the past few years. He was going to start high school soon, and that made you feel so old despite the fact that you were only just leaving it.
He eyed you for a few moments, that same spark in his eyes that was there that first night he’d opened the door for you. He clenched his jaw, looking incredibly nervous before he took a deep breath.
“Y/N… Will…will you wait for me?”
You frowned in confusion, leaning your elbow on the back of the couch, resting your head against your hand.
“What do you mean?”
He sighed, looking down for a bit before meeting your gaze. His eyes were so serious, much too serious for a 14-year-old kid. Your frown deepened.
“I think that you are so pretty…”
Your heart sank, and you straightened, understanding dawning on you.
“Peter…”
“Not pretty! No, that’s…that’s too lame to describe you. Y/N, I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. You’re so smart and funny and nice. You’re nice to everyone, even our downstairs neighbor who has never once said anything nice to you.”
You sighed, turning to face the tv.
“I know you think I’m just a kid-.”
“Peter, you are a kid.”
“Your 18th birthday was literally just last week,” he deadpanned.
“Shut up!”
“Y/N, please. Please! Just…promise me that you’ll wait for me,” he begged.
You looked at him, a frown on your face as you noticed the tears in his eyes.
“I know I’m just a kid, but eventually I won’t be. One day, I’ll be 18, then 19, 20, 21! One day I can give you everything you want, and I can make you happy and hold your hand-.”
“Peter,” you snapped.
“Y/N… Y/N, please. I love you…,” your stomach churned. “…so much. I know you don’t think anything of it, but I do. I love you, and… Promise me you’ll wait for me, and I’ll show you how much.”
You stared at him, unable to break from his pleading gaze. You had hoped this day would never come. You had hoped that his unspoken crush would remain just that. You’d never wanted to have this conversation, because you didn’t want to break his heart. And despite how much you should have in that moment, you didn’t. You weren’t going to hurt him.
You were sure that his feelings were fleeting, and that in 5 years’ time or so, he’d forget all about this. He’d look back on this moment with embarrassment, and you’d both be able to laugh about it. High school was four years, and a lot happens in those four years. You were positive that he’d move on, and that was the only reason you said;
“Okay.
~
“Y/N! Y/N wait!”
You ignored him, picking up your pace as you wiped the tears from your face. You winced as your hand brushed over your cheek, fingers trembling as you reached into your pocket for your keys.
“Y/N, stop!”
He grabbed your arm, harshly, and yanked you to a halt. You cried out, stumbling away from him as you ripped your arm out of his grip. You faced him, eyes hard with anger.
“For what? What could we possibly have to talk about, Chris?” you sarcastically questioned, throwing your hands up.
He glanced around as a few people stumbled out of the house, loud music briefly reaching your ears before it was muffled again. You crossed your arms over your chest as they walked past the two of you, glaring at the dark-haired man before you.
He suddenly sighed, looking a bit conflicted as he bit his lip. He hesitantly reached out towards you, taking a step forward.
“Y/N…it was an accident. I would never-.”
“It wasn’t an accident, and we both know it. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore, Chris. I just can’t,” you replied with a shrug.
He clenched his jaw, eyes darkening a bit as he took in your words.
“What the hell does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?”
“I didn’t think it needed to be said considering not five minutes ago you were slapping me like you were getting paid for it,” you snapped.
He glanced down, eyebrows furrowed.
“I said I was sorry.”
“…and I don’t care. You have a problem with my family, my friends, my clothes, my hair! You’re never satisfied unless I’m doing exactly what you want me to do, and now, I can’t even leave your side for 5 minutes to get a drink without you thinking I ran off to go fuck some random guy?”
He swallowed, and you shook your head at him.
“I’m sorry, okay? I get…I just get insecure sometimes,” was his weak defense.
You scoffed, a tear skipping down your cheek as you eyed him.
“You get insecure? So you hit me? Is that what you’re going to do every time you feel a little insecure?”
“No! I told you, it was an-!”
“I don’t care what it was, Chris. This is it. This is the last straw. I’ve put up with this for too long, and I will not be with a man that slaps me around just because his feelings are hurt. Get a therapist,” you sneered, turning away from him.
You yelped when he grabbed you again, yanking you to him. You reached out to hit him with your free hand, but he gripped your wrist, holding you to him.
“Y/N, please, lets just talk about this,” he begged.
“Let go of me,” you demanded.
He ignored you, instead shaking you a bit as he pleaded his case.
“Y/N, listen to me!”
“Stop-!”
You cut yourself off with a gasp when a fist came out of nowhere, getting Chris clean in the jaw. He was hit hard enough to collapse, and he gripped his face with a loud groan. You stumbled back, but a hand on the small of your back stopped you.
Grateful, you looked up, ready to thank your savior when you paused. Your gaze connected with that of familiar brown eyes, equally brown hair pushed away from a familiar face. Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened, shock hitting you square in the chest.
“Peter,” you breathed.
He glanced at your ex-boyfriend who was clutching his face before gently grabbing your hand and leading you away.
“Peter, wh-what are you doing here?” you asked as you followed along in a daze.
“Um… Ned wanted to come check out this party he’d heard about,” he replied.
You stopped walking, and he did too, facing you as you eyed him.
“So you and Ned are still friends. I’m happy to hear that. It’s not like I would have had any other way of knowing…”
Your tone was a bit accusatory and Peter at least had the gall to look ashamed.
You hadn’t seen nor heard from Peter in over a year. You still talked to May occasionally, but never a word from Peter. It was so strange. You and him kept in touch somewhat regularly since you had graduated. The two of you weren’t exactly BFFS or anything, especially since you both made new friends as you each started the new phase in your lives, but one day, a year ago, it just stopped.
Your texts asking him how he was went unanswered. You wanted to know if he was excited for college and if he was sad to leave high school, but you never found out. You weren’t even invited to his graduation, something that had struck a nerve. After all, you babysat him for years, and as old as it was going to make you feel, you still wanted to see him graduate. It was a huge accomplishment that you wanted to witness.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually said.
You crossed your arms over your chest.
“Are you?” you genuinely asked.
He straightened, eyes widening as he blinked at you.
“Yes! I’m…so sorry, Y/N. Things just got crazy and different and I just had a lot to deal with.”
Your brows creased as you could visibly see the stress along his features. He suddenly looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. You started to grow worried.
“Is everything okay? May?”
“No, yeah, aunt May is fine. Everything’s fine, now,” he replied, scratching the back of his head.
You nodded.
“That’s good to hear.”
You had only gone a year without seeing him, but he looked so different. His jaw seemed to be taut with tension, and there was a crease in his forehead that hadn’t left since you’d seen him. He was dressed plainly in a dark grey t-shirt and dark jeans. He had gotten a bit taller, and you blinked in surprise. The last time you saw him, he was already a bit taller than you, but now he was even more so. You suddenly remembered your manners.
“Thank you, by the way,” you said.
He eyed you, suddenly very serious as he crossed his own arms over his chest. The t-shirt he wore stretched over his muscles as he did so.
“Who was that jerk?”
You sighed, glancing away.
“My ex-boyfriend,” you confessed.
His eyes darkened, and he glared over your shoulder.
“What were you guys fighting about?”
You opened your mouth to answer before thinking better of it.
“It was nothing.”
“It didn’t look like nothing,” he argued, eyeing you.
You heaved another sigh, turning your face away as you refused to tell him the truth. You realized your mistake when you heard his sharp intake of breath. His hands gripped your chin and face before you could do anything, a slight gasp escaping him.
“Your cheek is swelling,” he said, worry and wonder in his voice.
You pulled away from him, briefly closing your eyes.
“Peter…”
“Did he do that?” he asked, disbelief and outrage coloring his tone.
“Peter, he’s my ex now, okay? It’s not going to happen again,” you said, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
You had never seen him look like that in all the time you’d known him. Sure, he got mad sometimes, especially when things didn’t go like he expected them to, but now he looked angry enough to kill. His hands were clenched into fists, face tense with rage. A wild look was in his eyes.
“Peter, I’m okay,” you said, stepping towards him.
“I should have punched him again,” he spat.
“I’m not going to argue with that, but please don’t. I’ve had enough violence for one night, and I just want to go home-.”
“I’m coming with you.”
You paused, blinking up at him.
“What? Peter, no. You came with friends. Go have fun with them, don’t worry about me,” you replied.
He shook his head, grabbing your keys out of your hand.
“No, I’m going with you. You need to put something on your face,” he disputed.
You opened your mouth to argue but decided to pick your battles. With a nod, you led him towards your car. You didn’t have a chance to say anything before he was sliding behind the wheel. To be honest, you were emotionally exhausted for the night and was quite relieved to relax in the passenger seat. You didn’t even know Peter knew how to drive, now, and your heart clenched as you felt like you had missed so much despite only missing a year.
You laid your head against the rest as Peter pulled away from the noisy house, listening to your directions instead.
~
“You…kind of have the worst taste in men,” he sheepishly said.
You gasped, mouth falling open in shock and mock outrage as he held a freezing bag of peas to your face.
“Are you seriously blaming me, right now?”
He spluttered, a flush taking over his face as he rushed to correct himself.
“No, no! Of course not. I’m just saying… You know how you are,” he added.
You frowned at him, narrowing your eyes a bit.
“No, how am I?”
He rolled his eyes.
“Oh, come on, Y/N. Remember that asshole you dated your freshman year of college? Or that jerk way back in your junior year of high school?”
You did actually. You’d ended up crying all night on May’s couch when you should have been watching Peter because Dylan had dumped you for some more popular girl. Peter, in all his chivalry, had let you have the rest of the pizza while he listened to you cry your heart out. You didn’t even want to talk about Nate.
You’d brought him over to May’s one day when you went to visit her and Peter after being in school for a few months. Peter hated him from the first moment they’d met. You remembered how angry you were that Peter was acting like such a kid and embarrassing you in front of Nate. You’d even said some pretty harsh words to him, something you apologized for when Nate inevitably showed his true colors.
“How could I forget,” you quietly mused.
Maybe Peter had a point. Looking back, the guys you’d dated had shown red flags from the start, all of which you had ignored. Even tonight shouldn’t have come as a shock to you. Chris was always so jealous and irrationally angry over the smallest of things. You should have left the minute he started telling you to stop visiting your family so much.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Peter apologized. “None of this is your fault.”
“No, I’m glad you said it, Peter. You’re not entirely wrong,” you sighed. “I see the signs and I just…ignore them.”
Peter didn’t respond, instead running his eyes over you as he shifted the frozen vegetables. He swallowed, suddenly stepping back.
“What did you see in any of them?” he quietly asked, almost desperately.
“To be honest… I don’t know,” you responded with a shrug.
Peter sighed before setting the cold bag on the counter behind you, resting his hand there.
“Is it…because they’re older? Or even just your age?”
You frowned in confusion, tilting your head at him.
“I’m sure that’s not it. What makes you think that?”
He stepped away from you, shoulders tense as he turned around and stared into your living room.
“I stopped talking to you a year ago because…because I was trying to move on. I was tying to forget you,” he quietly admitted.
Your frown deepened, a dreaded feeling take hold in your stomach.
“What?”
He turned around, dark eyes troubled.
“I was trying to forget you. You were enjoying college and new friends and new boyfriends, and I got tired of trying to show you that I was becoming someone you could be with. I thought that maybe you deserved better and someone who could relate to you more, but then…”
He released a shaky breath, face hardening as he stared past you.
“Then I saw you tonight…with him. He was hurting you, and you were screaming, and I wanted to hurt him like he was hurting you.”
“Peter…”
Just like that last night, a realization was coming to you, and you didn’t like it. His eyes softened as he looked at you.
“Do you remember…”
“Peter, don’t.”
“…when you said you’d wait for me?”
You scoffed in disbelief, pushing away from the counter to walk around it, leaning against your stove as you looked at him with wide eyes.
“Peter, that was years ago! I… I just didn’t want to hurt you,” you confessed.
His face fell a bit, and you felt like you were going to be sick. You had never wanted to hurt him. Everything that you had done was to prevent that. You thought he would have forgotten.
“You only said that to spare my feelings?”
“I thought you’d move on!”
“I tried!”
You pressed your back into the metal behind you, eyeing him as his eyes glistened. Desperation took over his features, and his lips trembled.
“I tried so hard, but… I love you.”
“Peter, no-.”
“I have been in love with you for years. I thought I could forget, but I can’t. I wanted you to live your life, but tonight just proved to me that I should have never tried to let you go. I should have been by your side as soon as I graduated. Tonight never would have happened if I had been,” he ranted.
“Peter-.”
“I can protect you, now. I mean…I could have protected you for years, but now I have the freedom to actually do that.”
“Peter, you don’t have to do that,” you argued. “That isn’t your job.”
He licked his lips, a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Do you remember that first night you came over…and you said that you were just there to look out for me? To protect me, like a guardian?”
“Yes,” you whispered.
“Well, now it can be my turn.”
“Peter, no! Okay?”
You felt like a broken record. He walked towards you, face determined.
“You don’t know the things I can do, Y/N. I can look out for you better than any of those other guys out there! I know you think I’m being silly and that I’m just oh so young-!”
“You are!”
“I’m 20, Y/N! 20! That’s 4 years younger than you! You have friends that are 20,” he desperately argued, eyes wide.
“That’s different!”
“How?”
“…b-because,” you lamely replied.
“I’m not good enough to be with you?”
“Peter…you’re just… You’re so young. No, four years isn’t a big deal, but I babysat you. I watched you grow up with me, and we’re at such different stages in our lives. We want different things-.”
“I want you,” Peter tearfully interrupted.
You swallowed.
“…and I want you to want someone else,” you quietly said.
“That’ll never happen,” he whispered.
“Peter, please,” you tried to reason with him.
He took another step towards you.
“I can make you so happy. Y/N, I can give you so much, you have no idea. You don’t know who I am, now or what I can do or what I can give you. Just give me a chance,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Peter, please leave.”
He paused, face crushed as you held his gaze. You wanted to look away, but you had to stand your ground if you ever wanted to get through to him. He suddenly exhaled, a newfound determination seeping into his features.
You gasped into his mouth as he pressed his lips against yours, hands holding you close as he pinned you in between him and the counter. You pushed against his hard chest, but he didn’t budge, and you whimpered against his lips. One of his hands found your hair while the other found your waist.
“Peter, Peter, stop,” you gasped.
He didn’t listen, both hands pressed onto the counter, now, keeping you trapped. You squirmed against him, and he groaned into your mouth. With reluctance, you bit his lip, and he pulled away with a pained gasp.
His wild eyes met your terrified ones, and his face softened. He reached up to brush his fingers over his bleeding lip, and you swallowed.
“Go. Please, just go, Peter,” you quietly forced out.
He looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it before listening to you. You let the tears fall as the door slammed shut behind him.
~
“No, um… I haven’t seen him since then,” you worriedly replied.
“Okay. If you hear from him, you’ll call me?”
“Of course, May. I’ll definitely call.”
You hung up the phone with a sigh, worry coursing through your veins. It had been weeks since that night you’d ran into Peter, and apparently, he hadn’t been in contact with anyone since. Guilt consumed you as you felt like this had something to do with you.
You called the number that you hadn’t dialed in over a year with no answer. You texted him, telling him that he should at least check in with his aunt. If anything happened to him, you didn’t know what you’d do.
You should have never given him hope that you two could be anything more. You should have broken his heart that night 6 years ago. It was silly of you to think that you could ever avoid doing such a thing. It was inevitable.
You rose from your bed, heading towards your bathroom to go shower when you heard a noise from your window. You’d only just turned around when something was over your mouth. You reached up in shock and touched what felt like…webbing? Your hands were bound together soon enough, and your legs followed. With a muffle scream, you fell over only to land in strong arms.
Your wide eyes focused on Peter as he held you, and you were powerless to stop him as he raised his hand, pressing a white cloth over your nose. You didn’t even remember closing your eyes.
~
“Have you lost your mind?” a somewhat familiar voice screamed.
You didn’t know how you knew that voice.
“Mr. Stark, please! Don’t-don’t freak out, okay?”
Stark. Tony Stark. That was how you knew that voice. You’d heard it on tv during press conferences and such plenty of times.
“Am I hearing this right? You kidnapped a woman, and now you want to keep her here?”
“You don’t understand, Mr. Stark…”
Peter’s voice lowered, and you suddenly realized you were lying on a bed. Your hands and legs were still bound with…whatever, and your head was pounding. You didn’t recognize the dimly lit room, and you struggled to sit up. Their voices were still lowered, and you started to wonder where you were.
You tried to sort everything out in your mind, struggling to come to grips with the fact that Peter had kidnapped you. And that wherever you were, it was far if Tony Stark was in the building too. That brought you to a question as to how Peter even knew Tony Stark.
You didn’t have time to ponder that much before the door opened and Peter filled the entryway. Your eyes widened, and you shuffled back on the bed as he closed the door and approached you. His steps were slow and cautious as if you were the one mostly likely to attack. His expression suddenly softened, eyes apologetic, and you realized that you were crying.
His hands were outstretched in a surrendering way before he slowly used one hand to get whatever it was off of your mouth. A sob escaped you, and he gently shushed you, framing your face with his hands.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, slowly sitting down in front of you.
“I-I’m sorry. Peter, I’m sorry. Please, let me go. I won’t tell anyone,” you tearfully pleaded.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, shaking his head. “I would never hurt you.”
“You…you attacked me,” you replied, voice filled with confusion and fear.
He looked down.
“No! No, not…not really. I just need time. We need time for you to understand,” he argued.
You shook your head in confusion.
“It’s my turn to look out for you, now, and I can. I’ll tell you everything eventually, when you’re ready, but right now…”
He settled his hands on your shoulders, massaging them.
“Right now, I want to show you how much I love you. I want to prove to you that I can be everything you want, and I can give you everything you want,” he continued.
“Peter, I don’t want you! You’re my friend,” you sobbed.
He pursed his lips, a frown overtaking his features. He suddenly exhaled, shaking his head.
“I can be more than that. Let me show you…”
You cried harder when he started pushing you back. Your chest heaved, and you were practically inconsolable as he climbed over you. He freed your legs, but they were of no use to you as he easily pinned them down while he undressed you. He ignored your pleas, tearing your shirt and bra straight down the middle before tearing them off of your arms.
You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt his own taking you in, heat and humiliation flooding through you. He was quiet for a long time as he ran his fingers over your bare skin, and you shuddered when you felt him press a kiss to your chest.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against your skin.
You kept your eyes closed as he ghosted kisses over you, taking his time to kiss every inch of you that he could. His touch was light and soft, so different from anything else you’d ever felt. He touched you like you were made of glass, like he was afraid you’d shatter with one wrong move.
You resisted when he parted your legs, but one hard squeeze on your ankle had you freezing. Your eyes flew open of their own accord when his lips latched onto you, tongue delving inside of your core as he coaxed an involuntary whimper from you. None of your boyfriends had ever returned the favor when you went down on them, and you had convinced yourself that it wasn’t a big deal.
You’d never felt someone else’s lips on you so intimately before, and you couldn’t stop your intense reaction. Fire bloomed in your stomach, and you couldn’t contain the moans that left you as you experienced the new sensation. You felt like you were floating, and you had to remind yourself that you didn’t want this, that your hands were currently bound together to keep you from fighting this like you wanted.
Peter pulled away before you fell over the edge, and you pleaded with him again as he climbed over you, now undressed. His eyes were swimming with determination as he brushed his hand over your cheek, eyeing the place where Chris had hit you weeks ago. He pressed his lips there, breath shaky.
“I’ve dreamed about this day for so long,” he whispered.
“Peter…if you love me…you won’t do this,” you breathed.
He reached between the two of you, trailing his lips over your face before finally pressing them to your lips. He kissed you fiercely, putting so much emotion into it that you found yourself cringing away from the intensity.
“I’m doing this because I love you, and because I want you to know that you deserve the best,” he murmured into your mouth.
One hand was beside your head, pressing into the bed.
“…and that’s me.”
You gasped when he entered you, fingers grazing his stomach as he set a slow pace. You blinked, mouth parted as tears sprang to your eyes. His hips were moving so slowly and so intensely against your own. You could feel every curve and ridge of him, and it awoke pleasure in you that you didn’t know existed. You turned your face away in an attempt to ignore what you were feeling, but it was no use.
Soft grunts escaped his lips, and he used one hand to gently grip your face, turning you to look at him. His brown eyes never left yours, dark hair brushing along his forehead as his skin started to glisten with sweat. His arm flexed, hand clenching the sheets beside your head as he bit his lip, never taking his eyes off of you.
You couldn’t keep the pleasure off of your face. You’d never felt this before. He was so soft with you, gentle in a way you’d never experienced. His touches were feather light, and he watched you like he was looking for the first sign of pain, of discomfort. It made you feel…good…loved, and you didn’t like it.
With a grunt, you struggled against your bonds. More tears escaped, and he wiped them away.
“Hey, hey…”
You shook your head.
“Peter…stop...please,” you gasped, stomach tightening.
“You don’t want me to,” he quietly refuted.
“Yes-.”
“I can feel that you don’t. You’ve been clenching around me, like you don’t want me to go,” he murmured.
More tears escaped, and your breath hitched when he slowed down even more.
“No, no, I don’t like this,” you argued.
But deep down, you did.
“You do! You know you do-.”
“No!”
“Let yourself be loved, Y/N. You’ve never been held right…treated right…touched right. But I’m here, now,” he groaned, brushing his lips over your neck.
Your nails dug into his stomach as you clenched around him, a coil building low in your own. You arched against him, and he bent down to wrap his lips around one exposed bud, teeth grazing your skin. He rested himself fully against you as one hand gripped your hair while the other dug into your hip.
“All I ever wanted was to show you that I can be the man you want,” he panted.
His face was buried in the crook of your neck, now, teeth nipping at your skin every once in a while. You felt a dampness there, and when he sat up, you noticed that a few tears had escaped his eyes.
“I love you so much,” he breathed.
“Peter,” you protested as you felt that coil tightening some more.
One hand slid to the small of your back, and he held you against him. He pressed his lips against yours before murmuring:
“Come with me.”
And you did.
You gasped into his mouth as you spasmed around him, legs trembling and shaking like they never had before. His hands and mouth never left you, and you didn’t even realize when your hands were suddenly free, nor when they held onto him. Your bodies were slick with sweat, and as he talked you through it, you didn’t know if your tears were from fear or the overwhelming onslaught of emotion that came with this newfound feeling.
This feeling of being loved.
~
tags: @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @xoxabs88xox @darkficreposter @sebabestianstan101 @girlingreen @villanellevi @harringtonsblackgf @opheliadawnwalker3 @mcudarklibrary @notyourtypicalrose @readermia
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You Saved Me - Derek Halex fem!reader part 14
-------------
For the first time in a while, I woke up happy. Sure, the situation we were all in was no reason to be happy, but I would take waking up next to Derek over anything. In this moment anyway.
Derek hummed in his sleep, nuzzling his face into my neck. I smiled, turning my head a little to press a kiss to his cheek. He opened his eyes that seemed to sparkle when he smiled.
“Good morning.” He mumbled, pulling his arms away and sitting up. I turned on my back and pouted up at him.
“Someone doesn’t like cuddling in the morning?”
He got out of bed, getting dressed, “Any other day, yes. But I have something to do this morning.” He threw a shirt in my direction. I caught it, got out of bed and dressed myself.
“I’ll remember that.” I took off my clothes that I had worn throughout the night and pulled on Derek’s shirt. It was soft cotton and it smelled like him. It was a little big so it would have to be tied with a ponytail holder. I looked over, seeing my jacket hanging up on the back of his door, “Mind tossing me my jacket?” He grabbed it off the door and tossed it my way. As it flew through the air, an envelope fell on the floor. Derek stared at the envelope and picked it up, looking it over.
“Oh my god, I completely forgot about that.” I took the envelope from his hands. It had some water damage but the words were still readable on the outside.
“The Lunar Circle?” His jaw clenched.
“Yeah, do you know anything about this?” I asked, opening it up.
“Your parents were a part of it.”
“Really?” I grinned, opening up the very official looking letter.
To (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N),
We send our condolences in the matter of your parents passing, all of us here at the Lunar Circle cherished your family and we think of them fondly.
As two of our founding members, your parents were meant to travel to our facility to discuss relations between them and the clan of hunters in your area, the Argents. Since they have passed, this duty falls to you - the sole survivor of your clan.
We will have a messenger arrive soon to bring you to Shetland, in the northern Isles of Scotland. Please pack warm.
We look forward to meeting you,
Sincerely,
Praetor Lachlan McLeod
I read the letter aloud, Derek was becoming more and more stern.
“I mean, it seems like they want me to go whether I like it or not. But I think they would be able to take the rest of the spell away so I could remember.” I smiled and looked up. The smile dropped, “But you don’t seem as enthusiastic as I do.”
“Only werewolves who get invited can go. I can’t go with you.”
"I mean, they probably wouldn't care. You're my partner."
“That’s not the point.” He walked back to his dresser, grabbing his leather jacket that he had draped there.
“Then what is the point, Derek?” He didn’t answer, walking out the door and into the hallway.
“Hey, I’m talking to you.” I called, storming after him.
He stopped abruptly in the hall and turned around, “The point is that I can’t be there with you. I can’t stop any of those people from taking you away from me.”
“Are you insinuating that I would cheat on you?” I glared.
“No.” His face softened, “But they could use the spell against you. A condition that they could have would be to break our bond so you can get your memories back.” He held my face in his hands, making me look up into his eyes, “I want you to remember, but I want to be there for it.”
“You said I’m stubborn. Maybe I could convince whoever is going to show up that I need you to come with me.” I smiled, “I’m gonna go home and look through some of the stuff from my house.”
“I’ll call you after I get done here.” He kissed my nose.
“And what are you doing?”
“Erica’s getting Jackson so we can test if he’s the kanima.” He started walking again.
“Uh and what if he is?” I asked nervously, “Listen, I am all for killing him on a good day but you can’t kill him. There has to be a cure.”
“And if there isn’t?”
Rubbing my temples, I thought for a moment. Pros: - No more kanima...No more Jackson... Con: Prison for Derek. Regardless of morals, the kanima was dangerous to everyone.
“Make it look like an accident.”
As I made my way out of the depot, Erica was walking in, dragging Jackson by his bicep.
“Erica.” I nodded, smiling brightly.
“(Y/N).” She smiled back. It seemed like after the kanima attack there was a silent understanding between the two of us.
“Wait!” Jackson called, trying to get out of her grasp, “Wait! (Y/N)!” There was a sick part of me that was going to think about his calling to me for help later and smile.
-
It was late morning when I got home. Stiles had given me hell through text but that was just how he showed his love. The next thing was to stop staring at the cardboard boxes that held the remaining pieces of my life that had been stashed in my closet. Out of sight, out of mind since I really wanted to distance myself from the memory of my parents death and all of the fact that my parents had unfairly taken memories of my life away. I understand that they did it to protect our family, but at the end of the day... that didn’t seem to make much of a difference.
Time to bite the bullet. I kneeled down in front of the closet and pulled out the box labeled: (Y/L/N) Evidence #24. I looked over my shoulder to make sure the door was closed, then grew a claw on my pointer finger to cut the tape on the box. Was that lazy? Of course, but I think anyone in my position would. I took a deep breath and opened the box. I wish that I was hit with a wave of nostalgia, the smells of home, but all I could smell was smoke.
I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the sides of the box, “Come on, don’t cry.” I sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. Blowing out air, I opened my eyes again. Inside the box were photo albums. I took out the one I recognized most, it was a dark teal color with our last name in gold cursive font. I traced the letters fondly. Opening it up, I saw pictures with my parents from when they bought this house, bringing me home from the hospital, pictures of my parents and Stiles’ hanging out. They all looked so happy, they were laughing and having fun. I lightly touched Aunt Claudia’s smiling face. It was still hard to believe that she was gone, but she was sick... She couldn’t live like that any longer. I flipped through the book, watching Stiles and I grow up. Birthdays, slumber parties. Slowly Scott popped up in the pictures until we became a trio. But Stiles and I were always together. Which made me wonder how much of my life was missing if he was the only friend I could remember.
The rest of the box was documents that had been found in the safe in the basement. It was a miracle that had found the safe since it had been hidden in the wall. Deeds, marriage license, birth certificates, social security. In the next box, there were some of my baby things. But this box has become more interesting. Family heirlooms that I had only seen once when they were being cleaned. At the bottom of the box was a wooden box that I definitely didn’t remember.
“Jack pot.” I smiled and lifted it out of the box. It was a dark stained wooden box with intricate vines and flowers decorating the borders. There was a stamp burned into the top. My last initial in a full moon, stars randomly placed around it.
I opened the clasp, lifting the lid open carefully. There was a glass bottle, sealed with teal wax. The neck of the bottle was wrapped in twine with a bronze charm, on the charm was a wolf. It was filled with dried herbs and what looked to be a lock of hair, my hair. I set the bottle aside, wanting to bring it to Deaton to figure out what was inside. But I was fairly certain this was the spell jar that took my memories away. The next thing inside that I pulled out was a scroll, sealed with the same teal wax and this time the crest was more visible, it was the same crest as on the box.
I carefully removed the wax from the paper to not break the seal, unrolling the papers. The larger of the two was a family tree, more family that I could even imagine that I had, going back ten generations. But the tree got smaller and smaller until I was the last branch. I am the last member of my family. That made me feel more alone than before.
The next paper was more recent looking and it was addressed to me.
𝘛𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳, (𝘠/𝘕).
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘰, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘶𝘱, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩.
𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯. 𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘞𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴.
𝘉𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘸𝘦 ��𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 - 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭.
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘞𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦,
𝘔𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘢𝘥
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, making sure my tears didn’t smug the ink on the page. They acknowledged that they did wrong and they were planning on reversing the spell. And seeing my mother’s handwriting again? The best.
In the bottom of the wooden box was a white package that had been faded yellow. The package was labeled with the name of the local pharmacy where you could also get photos developed. I took out the thick stack of photos and gasped. Christmas morning when I was twelve, I was looking up into the camera but my face was hidden by the glare coming from my eyes. Another picture had me with a wrist brace on, a thumbs up and a smile. Then the next pictures lifted my spirits. It was pictures of Derek and I. From the time we were toddlers until six years ago. Smiling, laughing. Some where he was in his basketball uniform, others when I was in my lacrosse gear. It seemed like Derek was just as much a part of my life as Stiles was. There were pictures of me with Laura Hale, we were on the floor cross legged while she sat behind me, braiding my hair. There was another where I was holding a little toddler on my lap, who I could only assume was Cora. There were even baby pictures of me with this woman I couldn’t recognize...but something told me that it was Derek’s mother Talia. Wait, Talia Hale. I never knew that name before. I was starting to remember. But it wasn’t enough. I needed to remember more.
But these pictures were important to what I needed. I slipped them back into the package and grabbed the vial, putting them in my bag.
I started walking down the stairs, feeling happier than this morning, but it all went away when Stiles’ text message. The first was a picture of Lydia at the front of Finstock’s class with someone help me written on the board from an hour ago. The next was a message that had come over that minute.
Stiles:
Isaac and Erica are testing Lydia to see if she’s the kanima... And I think she failed.
I got downstairs and was stopped by Uncle Noah in the kitchen, his arms were crossed over his chest. I was definitely in trouble.
“Hi, Uncle Noah-”
“Where have you been?” Straight to the point.
“Busy. With work and stuff.” My lying was not getting better. I tried to walk past him but he called my name.
“(Y/N)” I stopped, slowly turning around, “I know you’re an adult, but I promised your mom and dad that if anything happened to them that I would protect you. I mean, you’re gone all day and all night. I get vague text messages after hours.”
“I’ve just been busy with work, that’s all. Believe it or not, Coach puts in long hours-”
“Now, why am I having trouble believing you?” He looked up at the ceiling as if the answer was written there.
Probably because I’m lying, I’m actually a werewolf, one of many in this town and we’re fighting a teenage mutant murder lizard that may or may not be Lydia, you know Lydia, the girl Stiles was in love with?
“I don’t know. Maybe because you’ve been working long hours on four murder cases and overworking your brain.”
“Is this about that Lunar Circle thing you got in the mail? What is that thing anyway?”
I sighed, “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. If it were nothing, you would say that it’s junk.”
I sighed, “It’s a group my parents were a part of and they want me to go there.”
“To Scotland? No way.” He shook his head.
“What? You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I’m an adult.”
“You are apart of an open murder investigation where the murderer is still at large. I can’t in good conscience let you leave the state, let alone the country.”
“That’s not your decision to make.” I glared, “I am a legal adult, I am not a suspect, I can leave whenever I want.”
“Not true. As a part of the agreement with your parents, if they were to be killed, I am to be your guardian for six months, no matter how old you are.”
I pulled at my hair in frustration, “That’s ridiculous!”
“Call it what it may, but that’s what your parents wanted.”
“Screw what they wanted!” I snapped, “They took everything from me!”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” He barked back. I sighed in frustration, grabbing my keys off the counter and storming towards the door.
“Hey! We’re not done talking!” I kept going, “(Y/F/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), you get back here!”
I opened the door and looked back, “YOU’RE NOT MY DAD! STOP ACTING LIKE IT!” I slammed the door shut and hurriedly got into my car. I gripped the steering wheel hard, the plastic cracking against my palms. I shouted into the wheel, breathing hard to make sure I didn’t turn in the car. After a few minutes and a lot of breathing, the anger turned to guilt. Uncle Noah was just trying to make sure I was safe and what I said wasn’t fair. He treated me like his own and I should appreciate that more. I’m just relieved I didn’t see the look on his face when I shouted at him, I’m sure I would never be able to get his face out of my head.
My cell phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts, I pressed answer and held the phone to my ear.
“What do you want?” I snapped.
“(Y/N)?”
“Jackson?” My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
“Duh.” He said in his usual douchey way. Just my luck, the last person I wanted to talk to was calling me.
“What do you want, trust fund?” I put the phone on speaker and started driving.
“Look, we need your help. We need you to distract Derek.”
“No problem.” I hung up the phone, driving the short drive it took to get to the depot.
-
I leaned against the doorway leading into the depot, grabbing Derek’s jacket as he walked out.
“Where ya goin’, Der?” He looked back at me, backing up.
“I was on my way to see you.”
I smiled, “How coinvent. I just got into a huge fight with my Uncle which I’m sure you felt and I found pictures of us together that I wanted to show you.” I held up the package of photos.
We had gone back inside the depot, sitting on his mattress. Derek turned the bottle in his hands to get a look at all the herbs inside, “I can see monkshood, mistletoe, salt. Not sure what the rest is.” He handed the bottle back to me. I filled his empty hand with the package of pictures. He took out the stack. He stared at the pictures for a long time, almost like he was memorizing them.
“I lost all my copies of these photos in the fire.” He smiled as he looked through them, “Did you remember anything?”
“Just one thing.” I handed him the photo and his mother holding me, “I remembered her name, Talia.” He stared at the photo, his face changing.
“She’s so young here.” He whispered. I rested my head on his shoulder, looking at the photo. She was smiling at me in an exaggerated way, her dark hair tucked behind her ear. She was so beautiful. Derek looked over at me, then out the window. He set the photos down slowly and stood up. Shit.
“You were sent here to distract me, weren’t you?” He stared down accusingly. He felt betrayed, a feeling I didn’t like giving him.
“I came here to show you the pictures.” I stood up to face him.
“That may have been what you wanted to do originally, but on your way here they told you to distract me so I couldn’t kill that monster.” He gritted his teeth, moving towards the door at a determined pace. I caught up to him and grabbed his arm.
“Derek, it’s not Lydia!”
“How do you know that?” He spun around, his gaze was menacing, but he didn’t scare me anymore, “She failed the test, the kanima venom didn’t affect her. It has to be her.” He slammed the door of the depot open, walking out into the night with me hot on his heels.
“And what if it’s something else? You told Scott to trust his instincts and I trust mine, it’s not Lydia.”
“I’m doing this to keep you safe, keep them all safe. Isn’t that what you want?” There was a growl in his voice. I stopped following him, opting to get into my car and speed to Scott’s house.
-
I pounded on the front door when I got there, praying that they hadn’t completely padlocked the door yet. Stiles opened the door and pulled me inside, slamming the door shut behind me.
“I thought you were distracting Derek.” He whispered.
“I was. He saw through it.” I whispered back. Stiles looked out the window, a grim look on his face. I looked out the opposite window and saw Derek standing outside, with Boyd, Erica and Isaac behind him. I looked back and saw Allison standing in the hall.
“You need to tell Scott to get here right now.” I looked back on the window, reaching over and touching Stiles’ shoulder.
“It’s me. You need to get here right now.”
-
Allison was staring down at her phone, her other hand occupied with a small crossbow.
“What are you doing?” Stiles asked.
“I think...” She paused, “I think I have to call my dad.”
“Are you nuts?” I asked. I mean, what could the pack outside do without drawing the attention of the police, not much. Derek wouldn’t go that far... Or at least I hoped he wouldn’t.
“But if he finds you here, you and Scott-”
“I know.” She cut Stiles off, clearly frustrated, “But what are we supposed to do? They’re not here to scare us, they’re here to kill Lydia.” She said the last part a little quieter. Jackson and Lydia were upstairs doing... whatever it is exs did. I wouldn’t know, my ex was dead haha.... I wish there was therapy for people like me. Were there werewolf therapists?
After staring at the pack for a while, Stiles spoke up.
“I have an idea. Shoot one of ‘em.” Allison and I looked at him.
“Are you serious?” She asked.
“Stiles, if they get in, I’ll handle it.” I said, not really believing myself.
“You can’t take a whole pack by yourself. That’s literally impossible. I think.” He said, “We told Scott we could protect ourselves, so let's do it! Or at least give it a shot, right?”
“Okay.” She sighed.
“No, not okay, have you ever heard about how you’re not supposed to poke the sleeping bear. Shooting one of them would be like-like whacking a sleeping bear with a baseball bat.” I said, very not okay with the plan.
"They don't think we're gonna fight, one of them gets hit, guarantee you they'll take off. So just shoot one of them." Stiles said. In theory, yes. In practice, probably not.
She peeked out the window, "Which one?"
"Ummm...Derek. Yeah, shoot him. Preferably in the head."
“Stiles, are you trying to kill me?” I shoved him, having to pull my arm so I didn’t use my full strength. He yelped, holding his arm.
"If Scott's able to catch an arrow, Derek definitely can." Allison said, looking out the window.
"Okay, um, just shoot one of the other three then."
"You mean two." Stiles and I stared at her like she had three heads.
"I mean three." Stiles said. We smushed our cheeks together to look out the window at the same time. Isaac was missing.
“...Where the Hell is Isaac?" Stiles asked, looking around. Isaac had left his position besides Derek, probably when we were trying to figure out a plan.
“I’m gonna go protect Lydia.” I backed away from the door and ran upstairs, I got into the room right as I heard the crashing downstairs. Isaac had gotten in.
“Why are you here?” Lydia said, she breathing was quick and she was on the verge of a panic attack.
“Me?” I looked around, “Where the hell is Jackson?” I saw Scott’s open window. That slim ball ran at the first sign of danger. I grabbed her hand, pulling her into the bathroom. I closed the door quickly and locked it.
“What’s going on?” She whispered, tears falling down her face.
“Someone’s breaking in.” I lied, “Just stay quiet.” I put a finger to my lips. I could hear growling and shouting, a body being slamming into the door hard. I pressed my body against the door, hoping my body could keep it there.
“Hi-hi- I need the police.” I looked down, seeing Lydia on the phone with the cops. I groaned under my breath, blocking out her phone call to try and listen to what was going on outside.
“Stiles! It’s here!” I heard Allison shout. My eyes widened. The kanima. It was here, it wasn’t Lydia. I backed away from the door and started to unlock it.
“What are you doing?!” She shouted. I held out my hand.
“I’m gonna keep you safe. You have to trust me.” She stared at my hand, “Look, Stiles trusts me. And I know somewhere inside of your cold exterior you know Stiles would never let you get hurt. So if you don’t trust me, trust Stiles.” She stared a moment longer before taking my hand and pulling herself up.
“You will not mention this to him.” She huffed.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I opened the door, leading Lydia through the house and out the front door. And when we got outside, I stared at all of them in confusion.
Isaac and Erica were both on the ground, Derek, Boyd, Scott, Allison, and Stiles were staring at the roof as police sirens were getting closer.
“Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!” Lydia shouted.
"It's Jackson." Scott whispered. I stepped off the porch and looked at the roof, the kanima was on the roof, slithering just out of sight.
--------------
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house rules {1}
pairing: jimin x reader (f.)
genre: fluff; angst; roommates au; kinda new girl au; smut; f2l au
rating: explicit
warnings: sexual content; mention of emotional abuse; mention of manipulative relationship; mention of body issues; explicit smut
words: 26.3k
summary:
↠ {living with two guys has always its pros and cons. Pros being someone will always get you popcorn for your midnight cravings. Cons being you might like one of them…?} ↞
or alternatively, the shenanigans of five friends, where two of them are in a loving relationship, one is Kim Seokjin and the other two don’t know what the fuck they’re doing
.
.
The clock on the other side of the wall keeps ticking, each second driving you closer to madness over the insistent sound.
You click your pen open and closed. Open and closed. Open and closed.
And yet you still have no freaking clue on how to begin this godawful novel.
Godawful as in the mere effort it takes for it to come to life is starting to make you want to flick yourself off from a window.
Like, god, you’ve been staring at an empty piece of paper for almost two hours now, your coffee’s gone cold.
And yeah you write in paper. No laptop, no typewriter, just you, your pen and a currently empty piece of paper. It seems more direct, more intimate this way. Put you in front of a blank screen and your brain will surely follow it.
Although, today it doesn’t seem like you have much luck with paper either.
With a tired sigh, you rest your mighty pen on your desk, taking out your noise-cancelling earbuds and stand up from your chair.
You stretch out your limbs, your back already killing you from hunching over your desk for two hours now and you trudge over to the living room where the rest of your friends are having a movie night.
“Guys, the old crone decided to join us…” Hoseok comments from his side of the small couch as you drag your feet to your designated spot beside Jimin on the big couch.
“Quick, hide your popcorn, and hide your jelly beans!” Seokjin joins in on the mocking as Jimin scans through Netflix for a decent movie none of you has seen yet.
You know you’ll end up watching Dirty Dancing again because the chances of finding a movie none of you has seen yet are nearly non-existent.
“Ha, ha, your superior sense of humour is astounding…” you mumble as you sit cross-legged on the couch and Ana turns to you from her spot next to Hoseok.
“No luck with the novel still huh?” her eyes are looking at you sympathetically and you grumble a response, crossing your arms on your chest.
“Don’t worry, Y/N, it’ll come to you eventually,” Seokjin says, stretching his hand from his armchair to your right to nudge your knee and you let a deep breath infiltrate your lungs once he retracts it.
Jimin gives you a side glance before his eyes return to the screen. “Yeah, until she gets a different idea and the cycle repeats itself.”
“Hey!” you lightly punch your best friend in the ribs, earning a groan from him, “I just have to find a way to start this bloody thing and then it’ll turn out to be the greatest book in the century, you’ll see!” you defend your cause, eyes wide and challenging on Jimin who simply smiles at you with a winning smirk.
“That’s more like it…” he replies, the glint in his eyes your only hint giving away the intention behind his words and again you groan. Refusing to let the smile on your lips appear.
“I hate you when you do that…” you mumble, a small note of fondness only Jimin can distinguish, hiding in your voice as he finally picks his choice of a film with a smile hanging from his lips.
“Shh, the movie’s starting!” Ana interrupts everyone when -surprise surprise- Dirty Dancing starts playing. All of you have a certain liking towards the movie- I mean what’s not to like? Summer romance? Patrick Swayze with half-open shirts? Heated dancing? With Patrick Swayze?- but you can say for certain Ana takes the cake as a Dirty Dancing fan.
“How can you still be this much excited for this movie?” Hoseok comments from beside her and even though he sounds judgey there’s only lovesick fondness in his eyes when he looks at Ana.
Although when Ana turns to look at her boyfriend, she looks completely serious. “Keep this up and no sex for a month. We don’t condone this kind of behaviour in this house.”
You and Jimin try to suppress your giggles as Hoseok’s eyes widen in fear. “You can’t do that, what about you?!”
Ana simply smiles back with too much sweetness. “My hands aren’t just good for making you cum, babe.”
Disgusted protests come from the rest of the group as you’re sure you won’t ever be able to unhear this.
“Why, why did we have to hear that?” Jimin complains as Seokjin makes a gagging sound next to him.
Hoseok just smiles. “Oh, come on Jimin, don’t act like you didn’t enjoy tapping this hot piece of ass!” and another round of puking sounds emerges in the room.
Truth is Ana didn’t date Hoseok in the beginning. In reality, she got added to your group only after she started going out with Jimin in the second year of college. And even though she and Jimin didn’t work out in the end, she had already become an essential part of your group and they even remained great friends after the breakup.
Not long after that Hoseok asked her out. And you swear no couple ever made more sense than those two. Although you really hate when they get down and dirty in Hoseok’s room which is right next to yours.
You first started living with Hoseok and Jimin in the first year of college, five years ago. Jimin was a guy you barely knew from high school but he was the greatest of options you had when looking to share an apartment with someone. You didn’t want to live in a dorm but it wasn’t like your parents were rich or something, so there was no way for them to afford an apartment just for you. So looking for a roommate was the best solution.
Hoseok came a little bit afterwards. You and he shared a class and you became friends fairly quickly. So when he told you the situation at his dorm was unbearable, you couldn’t help but think of the empty bedroom in your apartment. And the rest is history.
Seokjin became a part of your group only months before Ana did. He and Jimin worked at the same part-time job as waiters in a local restaurant. And while Seokjin went forward to run his own restaurant and Jimin followed his passion as a dance instructor their friendship persevered. So it wasn’t long before he joined your group.
And it wasn’t long before you got this stupid crush on him.
Not that it matters anyway. He doesn’t know and you don’t plan on ever telling him to be honest. You know how easily things could go wrong and you’re fine with simply being his friend.
“Okay, babe, that’s enough for now…” Ana quiets down her boyfriend with a small kiss on his lips and finally pipes down to focus on Patrick Swayze’s biceps.
Your eyes rest on the screen as another exhausted sigh escapes you. This novel is your chance of having something of yours published. What if you can’t make it in time? What if it’s shit? What if you finally realize after all this time that being a writer was never what you were supposed to be and all those years believing that were in vain? What if-?
Your thoughts get interrupted when you feel a palm laying across your knee and squeezing it gently.
The fog in your head clears a bit when you find Jimin looking at you with a soft smile. One that tells you not to worry. Jimin could always read you like a book so it’s no surprise he could sense you spiralling.
And it’s not a surprise that with a single look he can calm down your racing thoughts.
He’s one of your closest friends after all.
.
.
“Hoseok you can’t keep using Ana’s departure as an excuse to not help with cleaning up!” you yell towards the couple saying goodbye at the front door, while Seokjin giggles as he dries out some of your plates.
“Shut up, you heathen, this is true love we’re talking about! Also, I can and I will!” your roommate yells back and you roll your eyes. On the other side of the room, Jimin picks up several empty beer cans as Ana kisses her boyfriend.
“Go on, babe, before they drive a stick through your ass,” she chuckles.
Hoseok pouts, the gesture almost etched to his features by now. “Oh, and you haven’t even done it that thing you wanted yet!”
“Again keep your weird sexual life out of this god-respected household,” Jimin comments and at once everyone turns to stare at him confused.
He stares back before, “Okay, yeah, I just heard it…” then he proceeds to take the trash out.
Ana chuckles before pressing another kiss on Hoseok’s lips. “Okay, I’m off. Bye guys!” to which you all respond with a chorus of “byes”.
Hoseok closes the door with a dreamy sigh before trekking over to the kitchen island to watch as you and Seokjin clean up. “Is it weird that I miss her already?”
Seokjin coos at the same time you react too. Although your reaction comes closer to a gagging sound and now both of them look at you like you just kicked a puppy.
You clear your throat, “oh, I- I meant… ''awww”...” you reply quickly, avoiding their stares to clean up the rest of the plates.
“Don’t mind her Hobi, she's just jealous,” Seokjin comments as he rests his towel on his shoulder.
At that, you scoff. You’re not jealous! You just hate corny things!
“Jealous? Pff. Who says they miss someone right after they leave? That’s just cheesy! I mean, yeah, you and Ana are perfect for each other, you’re cute together and you complete each other, and there’s intimacy and feelings and mutual respect…” your voice becomes sadder at the end and ultimately fades out, leaving you staring at the floor.
Where were you going with this?
The guys look at you with knowing glances and you groan out loud.
“Oh, shut your faces. I’m not jealous!”
“Who’s not jealous?” Jimin asks once he’s back into the apartment.
“Y/N, of our relationship,” Hoseok’s quick to respond.
“Yours and mine?” Jimin queries.
Hoseok rolls his eyes but he responds in all seriousness “No, Ana’s and mine.”
Jimin just shrugs. “Makes more sense.”
Your eyes narrow and you scoff. “No, it doesn’t because I’m not jealous!”
Seokjin places his palm on your shoulder. “It’s okay, Y/N, I’m sure you’ll find someone someday to be grumpy with.”
You pick his hand and drop it off your shoulder. “Thanks, but I’m fine. Besides I got my novel to write, I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”
“Oh, I’d marry rich if I was expecting anything of that novel!” Hoseok comments with a laugh but everyone freezes, including you. Is that what he really thinks? That you’re not gonna make it?
All of you turn to look at him, but Hoseok remains oblivious of your stares for a few moments. But when he realizes you’re all looking at him, he looks confused.
“What?” he asks, visibly perplexed.
Jimin’s eyes widen, disbelief in his voice. “Dude!”
Hoseok shrugs though his eyes widen in almost fear. “It was a joke!” his voice is one pitch higher as slight traces of panic are evident in his words. When no one responds, he turns to you, desperation and honesty in his eyes. “Y/N, really, it was just a joke.”
You stare for a moment too long, before you nod, giving him a smile to spare him from his misery, deciding to not let such a simple comment affect you. “Yeah, yeah, I know, of course!”
“I didn’t mean any of that okay? It was a stupid joke!” Hoseok nearly screeches, regret in his words as he doesn’t seem at all convinced by your answer.
You force a laugh to calm him down.
“Hobi, I’m fine! Don’t worry too much,” you smile at him, patting him on the back and moving to put the plates Seokjin dried out to their respective cabinets.
He still doesn’t seem convinced and he’s ready to pester you some more before Seokjin intervenes, sensing you’re starting to feel uncomfortable with all the attention. “Anyways, Hoseok you said you wanted my opinion on something?”
Hoseok’s attention turns to Seokjin once he speaks up. “Ah yeah! Actually, my three-year anniversary with Ana is coming up and I’m all out of ideas,” he responds sheepishly as he rubs the base of his neck.
“Ehm, hello? I’m her best friend, why don’t you ask me?” you complain, putting your hands on your waist with one eyebrow cocked up.
“Y/N your most serious relationship lasted two months and it ended because you fought over which peanut butter spread is the best,” Hoseok raises an eyebrow at you as he and Seokjin walk over to the couch, trying to brainstorm ideas.
“I’m sorry but whoever thinks smooth is better than crunchy is simply not human,” the memory sends a shudder through you and you look at Jimin for confirmation and he’s quick to nod his head and agree.
“Oh, yeah, that relationship had no future after that,” he washes his hands at the sink as he looks over to Hoseok who simply giggles.
“Okay, yeah, I can give you that one. But you really have no idea of relationships, so I’m sorry but I’m not taking any suggestions,” he softens the blow with a flying kiss in your direction.
You scoff, indignant. “Rude. True but rude!” you admit as you finally place the last of the plates in its place. Hoseok and Seokjin are now deep in conversation, throwing one idea after the other and if he decides to go with any of these, you’re sure Ana will dump him before he gets the chance to utter “break up sex”.
Seeing as there’s nothing else left for you to do, you decide to head off to sleep, making a mental note to talk to Hoseok about his date ideas and salvage whatever you can.
“Okay, I’m going to bed, goodnight guys!” you wave them goodnight before turning to the hallway when Jimin comes towards you.
“I’ll walk with you,” he says, following you into the corridor.
You walk in silence, not that it’s weird or anything. You and Jimin have reached that point in a friendship where you don’t have to fill the silence to be comfortable around each other. You could be in the same room, doing completely different things, not talking at all, and still, you wouldn’t feel the need to fill the silence.
Once you reach both of your rooms, as they are right across from one another, you ready to say goodnight when Jimin interrupts you.
“Ah, wait…” he stops you just as you reach for your doorknob and you turn around. “What is it?”
He sighs before, “look, I know you know Hoseok didn’t mean any of that but I also know words tend to get into your head…” he begins, voice gentle and eyes cautious on you as you fidget on your spot uncomfortably.
“And I just want to say-”
“What?” you cut him off with a tired sigh, “everything will turn out okay? That suddenly I’m gonna be blessed with divine inspiration when I least expect it?” you give him a weak smile, crossing your hands on your chest.
What you don’t expect is Jimin to laugh. “No, no, all of that is just a pile of crap!” he chuckles and you can’t help but laugh along with him.
“I wanted to say that whatever goes through that little mind of yours shouldn’t keep you from writing. That’s what you do, you write! And, yeah, some of it may come out as complete bullshit, but that’s just how it has to go before you get better,” he says simply, voice filled to the brim with honesty and you rest your eyes at your feet, suddenly feeling very self-aware.
“Because I know you’re gonna get better. You just need a push,” he finally smiles softly at you, warmness spreading through your heart as if his smile is a portable heater, radiating warmth to the people closest to it.
“Thanks…” you mumble back, letting your eyes find him to truly express how thankful you are.
You aren’t good with expressing your feelings, not when it’s not on top of a piece of paper. Everyone knows this, Jimin even more so. You know you don’t have to say anything for him to understand how you truly feel.
And so he smiles back and nods as if to say “you’re welcome”.
And for a few moments, you stay like that. Both of you leaning on your doors, staring at each other as another silence fills the corridor.
But this one is different. Still comfortable but there’s something else hanging in the air. It’s the way you look at each other, basking in each other’s presence, comfortable and not ready to say goodnight yet.
It’s the way Jimin’s looking at you. Smile slightly fading as his eyes remain on your face, ever serious, ever intense as if they’re saying something his lips can’t, something you can’t quite understand, something that makes you feel-
Jimin breaks the stuffed silence with a shake of his head. “Anyways, um… goodnight, Y/N…” he says, voice thick with something and his words seem to revive you as well as he opens the door to quickly go into his room.
“Ah, yeah, goodnight, Jimin,” you reply casually before you enter your bedroom and close the door behind you.
That felt… weird.
As much as you try to put a name to what you felt out there, you can’t. The situation felt too foreign, too much for your drunk mind to comprehend.
You shake your head, passing it off to the many beers you had and without giving it much of another thought you go to sleep.
.
.
Although, three weeks pass after that talk and you still can’t get it out of your mind.
You figured you would’ve forgotten about it by now, blaming it on the amount of alcohol you had consumed that night but no. Those last few moments before you parted in the middle of your hallway still linger in the crevices of your mind, not unlike a bunch of vultures scavenging for prey.
Even now, at Seokjin’s birthday party, it’s all you can think about instead of paying attention to the birthday boy himself and the subject of your affections. If he even knew you weren’t focusing on him on his own birthday party he would flip.
Did Jimin want to say something to you? It seemed so but since then he’s made no indication as to show he wants to talk to you. It’s been three weeks and there was no other talk of that weird conversation outside your bedrooms. No sign that it ever happened. You wonder what was going through his mind at that time. You wonder what he’s thinking about it now, if he even thinks about it still like you.
“Earth to Y/N! Hello?” a floating hand breaks your inner monologue, Ana looking at you with scrunched eyebrows and a glare to match. The two of you are currently alone amidst the crowd of partygoers as Ana dragged you aside to excitedly tell you about the amazing anniversary Hoseok had planned for them, last Saturday. You guess you lost focus somewhere in the middle.
“What?” your voice gets defensive and Ana’s glare seems more intimidating as seconds pass by.
“You stopped listening!” she slaps you lightly on the arm and a yelp comes out of your lips as a form of protest.
“I didn’t!” you try to defend your guilty self as you rub the afflicted spot.
“Yeah, no, I thought so at first “Y/N would never just stop listening” so I started casually throwing Seokjin’s name into the conversation, that always worked like a charm to get you to focus, but you still didn’t listen!” she retaliates and you shrink back in shame.
“Sorry…” you mumble in all honesty, biting your lip in embarrassment. “But I heard the most important parts!” you perk up, “And the whole concert then cooking at home date idea was really insightful and cute! And full disclosure, if I hadn’t interfered and let Hoseok listen to Seokjin, you would’ve ended up at a screening of cats!” you shake your finger at her and she giggles out loud.
“Although I gotta admit, Hoseok cleaned up really well on its own…” you smile at her and she nods with a dreamy sigh before taking a sip of her drink.
“Oh, and you have to thank me for stopping Hoseok from using his “free Hoseok love” coupon as a gift.”
Ana’s eyes widen in grave seriousness. “Oh, he did use that…”
You wince at that. “Oh god, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t fret too much about it, he also bought me that cute pair of boots I wanted!” she pats you on the back before she bites her lip as a child that’s about to get scolded, “~and… I also kind of enjoyed it…” she says with a wink and you roll your eyes at your friend.
“The leather ones that were really expensive?” she had rumbled over the course of a week about how she fell in love with those boots but their relationship would’ve never worked (in simpler words she couldn’t afford them).
She nods at you. “Marry him,” you respond with urgency and Ana laughs at you.
But as her giggles die down her face turns solemn once more.
“Are you okay though? It’s not like you to not pay attention, even more so when it’s about Seokjin…” she says with a chuckle at the end, yet her eyes remain cautious and you sigh.
“Yeah, it’s just that Jimin-”
“Y/N, wait… I’m sorry but you do realise that I was talking about Seokjin, right?” her stare is a bit weirded out, “and that we’re currently at his birthday party and you choose to hang out with me instead of talking to him?” she skillfully observes, making you feel uncomfortable at how her words trigger something you haven’t acknowledged before and you’re certainly not ready to do so now.
You shrug. “I guess I don’t know what to say…” you choose to say instead, hoping it’s enough of an excuse to get out of this conversation.
“What do you mean? You never had a problem with that before…” she counters, genuinely confused at your bizarre behaviour and you press your lips in a tight line as you shrug once more, not really knowing how to address that.
At your hesitation to breach the subject, something seems to click in Ana’s mind and she sighs in realization.
“Can I tell you what I think without you getting all grumpy and defensive?” she asks, eyes careful and hands in the air as if to pacify you. You shrug again, albeit a bit curious about what she has to say.
“I don’t think you really like Seokjin- ah, ah! Let me finish!” she shushes you when you begin protesting, “I mean not anymore, it was pretty obvious you were crazy into him when I first met you but now…” she takes a breath, eyes looking at you wearily as she prepares for the finishing blow, “now I think you cling into the idea of liking him because it’s comfortable. Because it’s easier to fall back into the safety net of liking someone and not doing anything about it than making yourself deal with the fear and uncertainty that comes with meeting someone new.”
Your cheeks flush as you stare at her, feeling vulnerable as if someone cut you open and went through your most inner thoughts, even when you feel like there’s something else that neither you nor she hasn’t been able to pinpoint.
Ana’s observation finally put what you’ve been feeling for a while into words. You haven’t realized it but the more you think about it, the more sense it makes.
And yet you still stubbornly act like it’s not the case at all.
“I… I’m not afraid to meet new people…” your protest is as weak as your voice and Ana looks at you unimpressed and thoroughly unconvinced.
“Really? Then you’ll have no problem talking to Seokjin’s friend from high school,” she points at the tall, blond hunk with the glasses and the cute dimples currently chatting with Seokjin.
“Namjoon?! Are you nuts?! He’s way out of my league!” you screech in panic. Namjoon is a sight to be held and in your opinion, people should pay to see him up close. Would that be considered a fucked up way of prostitution? You’re not sure.
Ana rolls her eyes. “First of all, “leagues” aren’t a thing and second of all, you’re totally scared boo!” she says plainly with a victorious grin and you flinch instinctively.
“I’m not! I just don’t have time for a relationship!” you say, still trying to get out of this conversation even though Ana doesn’t seem at all deterred.
“No one talked about a relationship, you baboon, it could be just sex. But, out of simple curiosity, how long has it been since you had sex? Seven, eight months?” she retaliates, in all ways but physical backing you up into a corner.
You groan, hiding your flaming face behind your hands.
“This is the perfect opportunity to hook up with someone and never having to talk to them again for the rest of your life. No strings attached, no awkward first dates, no phone calls. Just one night of drunken sex to get you to relax a bit and who knows? Maybe it’ll help you get your inspiration back,” she concludes with a tilt of her head. And the more you think about it, the more you realize she’s right about everything. About Seokjin, about using him as a distraction, about needing to relax and this being the perfect opportunity for it. It’s been a while since you’ve felt any sort of attraction for Seokjin. No excitement or accelerated heartbeat, no sweaty hands, no unbearable giddiness when he decides to throw a visit.
You guess somewhere along the way those feelings faded out, giving place to the love and comfort that comes out of a years-long friendship. You’re not attracted to him anymore.
And Ana’s suggestion does seem kind of appealing. You suppose some sex would help you get rid of all the nerves that come with writing a book.
And Namjoon is kinda hot. Okay, scratch “kinda”, “unbearably hot” is more fitting.
You just worry if he’ll able to surpass the last time you had sex. For some reason, you’re almost convinced he won’t.
“Okay, you’re right, I’ll do it,” at that Ana squeals and claps her hands happily.
“But I have to talk to Seokjin first,” you continue, resulting in a confused expression masking Ana’s face.
“What? Why?”
You shrug. “I spent those four years crushing on him, I feel like I need some kind of closure,” you chuckle and Ana stares at you dumbfounded before she shakes her head.
“Fine, do what you have to, but don’t take too long! Namjoon is like a walking modelling billboard, most of the people in this party have their eyes on him. Boy, if I wasn’t dating Hoseok would we be doing things right now…” she reveals as she stares at the man in question while biting her lip and you stare at her disapprovingly.
“What? I said if,” she says as if abdicating all blame and you shake your head at her with a laugh. Hoseok wouldn’t mind and to be honest they’d probably be talking about how to convince Namjoon for a threesome.
“Okay, I’m going, wish me luck,” you announce as you begin making your way towards Seokjin.
“What you need is alcohol, not luck,” Ana yells at you as she goes to find her boyfriend and you give her one last smile before turning your attention to the birthday boy.
Only now realizing what you’re about to do and, great, your hands are trembling. Maybe you did need some alcohol.
But it’s too late to make a run for it when Seokjin spots you and a smile graces his lips.
“Y/N! Come over here! You know Namjoon right?” he rushes to include you into the conversation, eyes wide with hidden meaning as he nudges you towards Namjoon and the man with the dimples smiles at you.
“Ah, yeah, we’ve met before. How are you?” you smile back at him and the longer he smiles, the deeper his dimples become and the more adorable he is.
“Can’t complain. How about you?” he chuckles, the sound almost illegal, as he pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Oh, right, he also has a deep and mellifluous voice. How is this man not famous for something?
“Pretty well I’d say. Um, do you mind if I steal the birthday boy for a bit? There’s something I need to talk to him about…” your hand is already dragging a confused Seokjin away, even if you’d rather be doing that to the other boy.
Namjoon blinks at you, as perplexed as Seokjin before “Ah, yeah, sure…”
“Thanks!” you yell over the music, although you’re sure the man mustn’t have heard you as you’re already making your way down the corridor towards the back of Seokjin’s apartment.
“Ugh, Y/N? What’s going on?” Seokjin’s voice is beyond weirded out as you finally reach his bedroom, that’s off-limits for the party. You push him in and close the door behind you.
“Sorry, I just needed some privacy for what I’m about to do…” you admit with shaking hands as Seokjin’s eyes widen in fear and confusion.
You take a breath before fixing your posture and stare bravely at the man in front of you. “This may come as a shock to you but I…” you take one final breath, “I used to like you-” you begin, dreading the moment Seokjin decides this is too odd for him.
“I know.”
Seokjin’s voice takes you by surprise as your mind processes the words that just left his mouth, a different kind of dread overwhelming you.
He knows?
“What? What do you mean you know?” your voice comes out offended, as Seokjin puts down his drink with a sigh and turns to look at you.
“I mean I know. You weren’t exactly subtle with the stares and all…” he comments calmly although your mouth falls open to join your feet at the ground at the absurdity of the situation.
He knows. All this time, he knew?!
“Well, why didn’t you say something?” you throw the words at him accusingly and he rolls his eyes.
“I didn’t want to embarrass you! I figured since you hadn’t said anything that you didn’t want to act on it so I never said anything either!” he defends himself, voice high-pitched in true Seokjin fashion.
“Oh my god, that’s so embarras- Wait,” you cut yourself when his words strike you as odd and another thought makes itself known in your mind. “You mean that if I had said something…?” you look at him weirdly and Seokjin sighs, eyes already confirming your suspicions.
“I might… not have said no to a date…” he admits, scratching his ears and your mouth drops open.
You could have dated the Kim Seokjin and you didn’t because you were too scared to make a move?
Wow, your past-self would be seriously pissed at you.
Seokjin rushed to explain. “But that was back then when I didn’t know you that well!”
You gasp at the offence, crossing your arms on your chest. “You mean now that you do know me, I'm not that dateable, Kim Seokjin?!”
He groans, rubbing a palm over his face. “I just meant that back then I was willing to risk our friendship because we weren’t that close in the first place! But now we’ve been friends for almost half a decade and even though you are extremely dateable” he says with a roll of his eyes but you’re still satisfied, “I just can’t see you in that way. And even if I did I wouldn’t be willing to risk our friendship over something like that,” he concludes with a sigh.
“Oh,” you reply simply, satisfied with his answer before you continue.
“Well, that’s good actually, because I just wanted to tell you that whatever those feelings were… they’re gone now. So I just… wanted to come clean I guess…” you admit softly, finally feeling like a weight has been lifted off your chest.
“So, we’re okay?” Seokjin asks with hope and you smile, lightly punching his arm. You find yourself relieved after Seokjin’s confession and you know you’ll be fine.
“We’re okay,” you nod and Seokjin smiles back.
“That punch was lame,” he retorts and you gasp. “Do you want me to punch you for real, you masochist?”
His smile widens. “No, you freak of nature, I want a hug!”
Immediately, you begin protesting. “No, no, no, no, no. No hugs, you know this!” you begin moving away from him as he comes closer with a predatory grin. You absolutely hate hugs. They’re unnecessary long and intimate, you never know where to put your hands and you always end up having someone’s hair in your mouth.
Seokjin pouts as he nearly chases you into the hallway. “Come on, I just found out I’m not your crush anymore! Do you know how much of a hit is that to my ego!?” he says, standing in front of you, effectively blocking your way to freedom.
You sigh, already regretting, the words you’re about to say but seeing no other way out.
“Fine, but you have to promise me to not tell anyone! I have a reputation to upkeep!” you yield, shaking a threatening finger at him but his grin only grows bigger.
“Deal!” he squeals, eager to grasp this rare chance of affection from you, seeing as he has tried numerous times to get a hug from you but being unsuccessful. Till now that is.
His hands wrap around you in a soul and bone-crushing hug as your arms end up being squished between your bodies. You try to control the smile on your lips as you struggle to break your arms free and wrap them around his impossibly wide shoulders. Actually, this doesn’t feel so bad. It feels like being enveloped in a giant, fuzzy blanket. If that blanket had an unquenchable thirst for strawberry shortcakes.
A few moments pass before you begin to pull back. “Okay, you giant carebear, that’s enough,” you giggle as Seokjin retracts his hands.
“Now, wasn’t that refreshing?”
“If I let you know, I’ll have to kill you,” you mumble fixing your clothes and Seokjin’s trademark laugh echoes throughout the corridor, making your smile grow.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he throws you a cheeky wink.
You shake your head at him with a laugh before another thought crosses your mind and you bite your lip. “So… about Namjoon…”
Seokjin’s mind instantly follows your train of thought but he lets out a surprising -to say the least- groan. “Seriously?”
You find his reaction a bit too odd for your liking. “Why?”
“Uhm, you dragged me away to my bedroom at my own birthday party. He probably thinks we jumping uglies right now,” he fixes you with a disappointed stare. Fuck, you didn’t think of that.
You grunt in frustration. “Great, now what?”
Seokjin’s eyes glint when he comes up with yet another brilliant idea. “If we split we’ll find him faster!” he exclaims enthusiastically and your eyes widen.
“Genius thinking!” you declare before you sprint down the hallway, the both of you looking for Namjoon.
.
.
You would think it would be easy finding Namjoon in an apartment as small as Seokjin’s. But it’s not. It’s anything but.
When you finally do find him after almost 40 minutes looking for his perfect ass, it’s with his mouth stuck against another person’s neck so any hopes for a one-night-stand are going down the drain. So instead you resort to drinking the rest of Seokjin’s sparkling rosé collection until you have to pee your weight in alcohol.
You abandon the living room where the party is still going strong, in search of the holy grail that is Seokjin’s bathroom right now, hoping you get to relieve your misery.
But as you approach the door, you fail to register the voices coming from inside. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to live through the impending embarrassment.
Instead, you bust the door open in your haste to pee, but all of that goes to shit once you see Jimin inside the bathroom. Or, more precisely, Jimin’s mouth sucking on the pulse of some blonde’s girl neck -who feels oddly familiar- like he’s a fucking vampire.
Your eyes widen, meeting with fear Jimin’s livid ones before “OhmygodImsorrypretendthisneverhappened!” you yell in one breath, anxious to get out of there as fast as possible and before Jimin gets the chance to curse at you, you close the door and disappear down the hallway.
Ugh, oh my god, why are you so awkward?
You rub your hands on your face as you walk down the corridor, wondering where you’re supposed to pee now. Couldn’t they bone at Seokjin’s room?
Though, among your thoughts emerges one particular one that makes you stop dead in your tracks as you finally realize why that girl seemed familiar.
She wasn’t just some random girl. No, she was a very specific blonde girl, one that happens to be the pure personification of evil on the face of the earth, one that you’re sure hides horns beneath that perfect hair.
Jimin’s ex, the girl who manipulated and abused him repeatedly, the girl who broke up with him nearly a year ago to be with someone else, after he caught her cheating. The girl who broke his heart.
Dinah.
Fuck.
.
.
You remember the first time you met Dinah, although she hadn’t left any particular impression on you. She was a high school friend of Taehyung, with whom Seokjin shared some classes with and were kinda close. It was your fourth year in college when Taehyung was still hanging with you guys before he found a job opportunity overseas and left. Now he texts every now and then or visits even more rarely.
Seokjin’s birthday party is one of those rare visits, hence why Dinah was also present last night.
The first time you met her, almost two years ago, was in a scheduled study group in one of the local cafes. It was you, Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok and Dinah, most of the guys, studying to prepare for their last year through college and Ana couldn’t make it so honestly, you were relieved you had another girl to go through together the boys’ antics.
Although if Ana was there, she would’ve probably spent all of her time being coupley with Hoseok and that kinda defeats the purpose.
Dinah was studying for a math exam and Jimin had offered to help her since she wasn’t very good at it. You didn’t think much of it, mind already going haywire over your new novel idea so you didn’t really pay much attention to anyone.
It had been when Jimin left for the bathroom when you saw her scrolling through her phone that you decided to help her with a problem even Jimin couldn’t quite get.
Only her reaction was a tad bit different then what you’d expected. She had interrupted you even before you got to tell her you wanted to help, with a kinda sharp tone saying she didn’t need your help. You had backed off then, kinda bummed out about it but you could already tell she was into Jimin and wanted his help specifically.
But as you had turned to pay attention back to your novel, your gaze couldn’t help but fall on her open notebook. And there it was, in a hidden corner of the page in messy scribblings the solution to the problem. Her handwriting.
You didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t your cup of tea to hide your intellect to raise the ego of the boy you were into and besides feeling a bit sad for her, you didn’t do anything else. Who were you to judge?
It wasn’t until the two of them started going out that you started feeling some sort of dislike towards her. And not just you, the rest of the group as well.
It was obvious to everyone how shitty she treated Jimin. At first, of course, there were no signs as if to warn you of Dinah's manipulative nature, they were still in the lovey-dovey, honeymoon phase. But as time passed, Dinah’s facade began to crumble. Jimin’s interaction with the opposite sex were limited due to Dinah’s extreme jealousy, which meant you and Ana barely got to be around him, let alone talk to him. Her snide comments and judgey behaviour made him feel inadequate over everything. How he got her the wrong gift, how the movie he chose was stupid, how the restaurant he picked was disgusting, and the list goes on and on.
At first, Jimin tried to talk to her about those things, certain she would understand what she was doing once he’d brought it up. But when you’re in love it’s easier to ignore all the red flags. It’s easier to blame yourself for everything when you can see no fault in the person you’re in love with.
Soon the relationship turned toxic. Dinah became similar to a parasite, sucking the life and happiness out of Jimin, as he fell prey to her every whim. Making him even more insecure in himself when she knew he already had some issues he was trying to work on. But that didn’t deter her. Instead, it gave her leverage, to use all the ugly, little things Jimin thought of himself against him.
At some point, it had gotten so bad Jimin refused to eat.
It was then that all of you tried to intervene.
Unsuccessfully that is.
It had gotten pretty ugly in the span of a few minutes with how angry you and Hoseok were at Dinah and at Jimin’s unwavering loyalty to her. Soon it had become a yelling match between the three of you as Seokjin and Ana had tried to bring some sense to all of you. In retrospect, none of you handled the delicate situation well.
In the end, Jimin had stormed out of the apartment, furious at all four of you, to go to Dinah or to the only one that got him as he had put it.
Only to find her in bed with someone else.
He had come home hours later, stinking of alcohol, telling you what had happened through red eyes, tear-stained cheeks and hiccups.
You had put him to sleep and the next morning Dinah was breaking up with him over the phone.
The next few months were awful. But he survived them. He survived and realised he deserved better, not this hell Dinah made him go through. That wasn’t love.
After all of you encouraged him to talk to someone about everything, Jimin went to a therapist and he came out stronger. Sure, some of the issues were still there but so were the rest of you. He knew you’d be there for him if he ever needed you.
That’s why you’re so pissed this morning.
Ana and Hoseok look at you like you’re a ticking bomb about to explode at any minute from the other side of the kitchen island as you munch on your cereal and send death glares at Dinah, currently sitting on Jimin’s lap on the dining table.
If only “death glare” was a bit more literal.
You can’t understand Jimin. He was supposed to be over this. Doesn’t he remember what she did to him, how miserable he was?
“I haven’t seen you staring so long at something since that time you tried to microwave popcorn with your mind,” Ana’s hushed whispers reach you as not to alert the couple and Hoseok almost sputters out his milk.
“Did it work, though?” Hoseok’s eyes stare at her expectantly and you roll your eyes.
“Not gonna dignify that with a response,” is her cryptic answer.
“Seriously, am I the only one who’s pissed over this?” you say through gritted teeth, the happy couple wholly oblivious to your little conversation. Ana and Hoseok seem too calm, given you have a fucking demon at your dining table.
Ana sighs. “We are too, Y/N, but let’s face it, what can we do about it?”
You look at her in disbelief. “Talk to him?!”
“Yeah, and look at how that worked out last time…”
“They broke up.”
“After he caught her cheating…” her words are slow as if talking to a child, “and it wasn’t even him who initiated the break-up! If Jimin wants to be with her we just have to accept it and be there for him if something happens again,” she concludes, taking a sip of her coffee and you can’t believe your ears. She can’t be serious.
“Hoseok, what’s your say in this?” you ask, rather loudly might you add, so you steal a glance making sure Jimin hasn’t heard.
Hoseok shrugs in answer to your question. “We all know she was the devil incarnate. But maybe she changed. Let’s give her a chance.”
Your mouth hangs open when your last possible ally walks over to enemy territory. “Give her a chance? She’s not Andrew Garfield in the Amazing Spiderman!”
Ana’s expression gives away her utter bafflement. “I have so many questions…”
You shrug. “Everyone hates him but I think he was a great Spiderman.”
Hoseok’s incredulous stare doesn’t last for long. “Anyways, all I’m saying is Jimin went through a lot…”
“So he should know better!” you retort.
Hoseok doesn’t seem amused, “So there must be something that changed his mind! He’s a big boy, he can take care of himself. If he gave her a second chance, so should we.”
Ana nods at her boyfriend’s words and they both return their eyes on you, waiting for confirmation of your part that you’re gonna be nice.
You regard them with an ominous glare, “Traitors…” you mumble before you groan. “Fine. But I’m gonna be watching her every move. Like an owl!”
“I’m fairly positive it’s supposed to be “like a hawk”...?” a confused pout takes over Hoseok’s lips.
Ana chuckles, “It is “like a hawk”.”
Your confusion is evident. “Really? But owls are nocturnal animals, therefore have better eyesight!”
Ana rolls her eyes at you, tired of all the bird talk. “Even so! Please promise you’ll behave!”
You take a deep breath when a shrill laugh echoes throughout the apartment and you can already feel yourself fuming.
“I promise.”
.
.
After the two “lovebirds” have left your apartment for an impromptu date, which the declaration of had you nearly barfing on sight, you crawled back into your room, in search of inspiration, daring to take another shot at your mostly unfinished novel.
You gather your hair up in a messy bun, glasses on top of your nose, iced coffee next to your papers, preparations all ready to freely embark on the raging seas of creativity.
If writing a novel was that easy.
After writing another three chapters, well after the sun has settled in the horizon and your eyes are barely keeping themselves open, a knock thrums against your door. But before you get to reply, the door creaks open and Ana pops up behind it, walking in with observing eyes and a bag of cheddar-flavoured chips.
“Why do you even bother knocking?” you sigh, taking off your glasses to rub your exhausted eyes.
“The knock is a warning, not a request for entry,” she plops on your bed with a smile, crossing her legs on your duvet and pats the space next to her.
It’s not uncommon to have Ana spending the entire day here, after all, she is one of your closest friends, an elementary part of your group and Hoseok’s girlfriend.
You get up from your desk, limbs aching for the various positions your body has been in the midst of writing, and with a tired smile you sit down next to her.
“No luck with the book still?” she asks, passing you the chips and you hum appreciatively, your tongue already tasting the divine taste of those chips.
“Well, I’ve written some stuff… just not any particularly good stuff,” you munch through the snack with a grubbled noise of satisfaction and Ana nods in understanding at your words, “and honestly that whole “Dinah” thing is infuriatingly distracting! I’m still pissed and I can’t even stop thinking about it.”
“Wait…” Ana interrupts you and if her face says anything is that she just came to a sudden realization. One she doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy.
“Are you sure this isn’t because of…?” her words hang in the air as she regards you with careful eyes, waiting for you to grasp the meaning between her words.
Though you’re none the wiser. “Because of…?” your utter obliviousness is infuriating and Ana groans, rubbing her palms on her face, pinning you with a ridiculous look.
Right then, it’s as if a moment of clarity strikes you and you finally understand what she means.
Your eyes widen in horror.
“What? Ew, no! Why would you even think that?!” you immediately protest, entirely disgusted by the mere notion of what Ana is implying.
She doesn’t seem at all bothered by your extreme reaction. “I’m just saying, it happened!”
“Yeah, eight months ago!” she can’t be serious. There’s no way she actually believes that.
She cocks an eyebrow. “It was also the last time you had sex.”
You let an exhale drop from your lips, as you take a trip down memory lane, all the way back to eight months ago.
It was April, four months or so after Dinah had broken up with Jimin, leaving him a complete wreckage in her absence. It became a group activity, trying to get Jimin back on his feet. Making sure he ate, taking him outside for some fresh air, helping him get out of his funk.
One night, you took him out for drinks in a bar close to home, to help him get over her through alcohol and hopefully some meaningless sex with a stranger. And Although both of those things happened, it wasn’t a stranger lending him a helping hand that night. Or a helping mouth if you want to be accurate.
You had woken up the next morning in his bed due to the unsettling feeling of dread curling in the pit of your stomach. What the hell were you thinking? What if this changed everything? You were best friends and roommates, what now?
But when Jimin woke up, everything seemed to be back to normal. You were relieved things didn’t become weird, his words immediately putting a rest to your worries over your possibly ruined friendship, joking lightly about the whole thing and how the others might react to the whole incident. It wasn’t a big deal because you never let it become one. It was but one night of mindless sex, one that left you both satiated and you could both agree it meant nothing. Jimin just needed some rebound sex and you… well, it had been a while. And you had needs.
Although you did get a lot of teasing from the rest of the group for the next few weeks. That wasn’t anything fond to remember, especially when you were still thinking you were into Seokjin and he had a large part in said teasing.
But that was in the past. You never felt anything for Jimin in the first place.
“It’s not that, okay? She’s just an awful person and I don’t want to even think about the consequences of her doing Jimin dirty again,” your calm voice and demeanour finally convince Ana as she lets out a relieved breath.
“Okay, good. Got scared there for a second, things could get really messy,” she admits with a small smile.
“You don’t have to worry about that. If anything that’s the least of your worries right now,” you say munching on some more chips as you eye the clock on your wall.
Ana looks at you perplexed. “What do you mean?”
You press your lips together. “Hoseok is alone in his room right?”
Ana looks even more baffled now, not sure where you’re going with this. “Yeah…?”
You press your lips in a tight line. “It’s 10 o’clock…” you relay, a sense of urgency in your voice.
Ana’s eyes widen. Hoseok’s latest obsession is watching Glee reruns on TV, which wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t insist on singing every episode’s songs for the remainder of the week.
‘You can still stop him if you run…” you offer and Ana is immediately off your bed.
“Hoseok put down the remote!” she yells, running out of your room, down into the living room as you giggle and munch on the chips she left behind.
Your mind travels back to Ana’s worries about your feelings but you laugh them off.
You and Jimin? The entire idea is utterly ridiculous. He’s your best friend, you could never look at him that way.
Although, you too can admit he can be a sexy piece of ass when he wants to.
With a sigh, you throw the empty bag of chips on the floor and get under your covers, your mind too tired out to continue writing.
You just hope this thing with Dinah is only temporary. How long can a fling last when you already know the bad side of your lover?
.
.
When another week passes and they’re still going strong with no prospects of a breakup anywhere on the horizon, you realize it can be long.
Very long.
You wake up each day to giggles, picking thrown out clothes off the couch, listening to their yucky canoodling as they insist on making out on every surface of the apartment like a bunch of delinquents. While the rest of you are still present!
You swear if you hear another one of her obnoxious laughs you’re gonna drive a glass dildo through your ear canals to stop yourself from hearing altogether.
“I can’t take this anymooooore…” Hoseok whines quietly as you, he and Seokjin are crammed in the two-seat couch, while the lovebirds currently occupy the entirety of the big sofa.
It’s not that there’s no space for you to sit there as well. More like their insistent snogging effectively grosses the rest of you away.
“Me neither, but what can we do?” Seokjin whispers back while shuffling on the sofa, trying to find a more comfortable position and instead, managing to elbow both you and Hoseok in the process as an episode of Brooklyn 99 plays on the TV.
At the other side of the coffee table, Ana smiles triumphantly at you as she crosses her legs on top of the only armchair in the room. She was faster than the rest of you, that mean son of a bitch.
Hoseok squints at her with hatred before leaning in to whisper. “Is it wrong that I’m turned on by how mean she looks?”
Both yours and Seokjin’s protests of disgust are immediate.
“Lower the tent you perv,” Seokjin makes a face.
“Too late, this tent is the sturdiest thing ever built. I mean it’s so strong, so efficient, this stick is never gonna go down-”
“Okay, we have to do something or else I’m gonna finally kill Hoseok. After all those years of putting up with his weird sexual energy… this is gonna be the last straw,” your serious eyes turn to Seokjin to stress out the gravity of the situation.
Hoseok giggles mischievously and Seokjin sighs almost like he’s on auto-pilot. “Okay, okay, what do you propose?”
Hoseok pulls a face. “Really? That’s what convinces you? I’m hurt and as your friend of nearly four years I won’t stand for this kind of dishonour of my name!”
You both stare at Hoseok for a minute, no reaction whatsoever.
“Okay, I have a plan,” you ignore Hoseok in favour of turning to Seokjin and Hoseok groans, mumbling a grumpy “fake friends”.
“For the last time, Y/N, I refuse to be involved in your -honestly frightening- lust for murder,” Seokjin gives you the stink eye.
You gasp, offended. “I never said anything about murder!” you exclaim and Seokjin’s shoulders drop, looking somewhat remorseful.
You bite your lip though, knowing full well he’s not gonna like this suggestion either. “I just said we could sedate her and put her in Jimin's room.”
Seokjin rolls his eyes, entirely disappointed but not surprised. “No.”
“Why? It’s a win-win situation! We don’t get to hear her and the couch is free!” you protest but Seokjin’s eyebrow raises.
“How’s that a win-win situation?”
“It’s a win-win situation for us! None of the wins is for her,” you shrug before Seokjin flicks you in the forehead and you yelp in pain.
The sound somehow alerts the couple and they both stop kissing to look over to the three of you weirdly. You and the boys immediately stop talking, trying to look as inconspicuous as ever. Which only makes you look even more suspicious.
“You guys okay there?” Jimin asks, voice questioning and wary.
All three of you smile at the same time, which honestly gives you a creepy “Stepford Wives” vibe, and you speak up when an idea pops into your head.
“Yeah, it’s just that this couch is kinda um… small for the three of us. But we’re fine!” you feel Seokjin staring at you wildly and you discreetly nudge him to play along.
Jimin’s face falls. “Oh, I didn’t realize! Some of you can come sit here.”
“Oh, no!” Seokjin waves his hands dismissively, “You guys seem really cosy there, we don’t want to ruin that!” he says, finally following your line of thought and you nod quickly as if to agree with him.
“Ah…” Jimin replies, voice soft and a second passes where his face hardens. But then it’s gone and he taps his finger on his chin as he thinks it through before-, “Well, you three can sit here and we can sit on the smaller couch if you’d like.”
The three of you are already standing up, ignoring the pout and slightly sharp glare Dinah is giving you.
Suck it up, demoness.
“Well, if you’re sure-”
“We’d really appreciate it-”
“Aren’t you two the sweetest-”
Jimin smiles at you, probably already knowing what’s going on and yet he says nothing, urging Dinah to stand up and follow him on the smaller sofa.
You and the boys fall to the bigger sofa with moans of appreciation, finally free to spread out your limbs without touching each other.
“Oh, yeah… that’s the stuff…” you moan as your arms lie limblessly to your side, not touching Hoseok’s or Seokjin’s for just a few centimetres but even those little centimetres of distance come as a blessing.
Ana chuckles at your antics and Seokjin sends her a glare.
“You don’t have laughing-at-the-rest-of-us rights, anymore, Brutus!” he shakes a finger at her but Ana’s smile doesn’t deteriorate.
“I’d let that Brutus impale me with her blade anytime…” Hoseok adds unnecessarily and you groan.
Jimin takes a pause for having his soul sucked from his mouth from the dementor next to him, to look mildly curious. “How would that even work?” he asks and Dinah looks less than thrilled to not have his whole attention anymore, making you feel somewhat in the mood to gloat.
Ana rushes to explain. “Well, you see it can happen when you have purchased a specific type of-”
Seokjin immediately shuts Ana with his palm over her mouth. “Did you have to ask?!”
Jimin giggles. “I just wanted to know!”
“Yeah, and I wanted to not be traumatized by that image at 8 o’clock on a Thursday night but here we are!” Seokjin interjects and an involuntary laugh escapes your lips before Hoseok joins you.
And then Ana and Jimin do too before Seokjin relents as well at the sound of your laughter and you all end up cackling like maniacs in the middle of your living room.
Well, all except one.
Dinah sighs a little too loud when your giggles don’t seem to die down and she slowly gets off the couch. Her sullen face, an indication she visualised this whole evening to play out a little differently.
“I think I’m gonna head home…” She addresses Jimin and he stands up too.
“Oh, no, so soon?” your sarcasm can’t be helped. Hoseok elbows you in the ribs in return and you just barely conceal your groan.
“Why? Stay a little while longer…” Jimin pouts at her, that one specific pout that makes him seem like a kicked puppy, therefore makes him irresistible to refuse. You purse your lips as you guide your attention to the latest adventures of Jake Peralta but your treacherous ears can’t help but follow the rest of the conversation.
“I can’t. I have to be at the office early tomorrow…” she sounds remorseful as her hands rest on Jimin’s chest. But as said before you’re definitely not looking at them, so you can only guess.
“I’m sure those kids can wait a little- You know what, I felt bad for saying that, so forget I ever did,” Jimin says quickly as he circles his hands around her waist. Again you guess.
Ah, yeah, you forgot to mention. Dinah is a damn paediatrician. How could a person as evil as herself be something in such close proximity to children will forever escape you.
She smiles at him before- “Buut… you can come over instead if you’d like…” she says in a low voice and your eyes widen. You drag them away before Jimin’s surprised ones find you.
He can’t do that! Well, obviously, he can but Jimin wouldn’t do that to you-.
“Actually I promised Y/N we’d watch Space Jam tonight…” he tells her somewhat apologetically but still you feel relieved. Watching Space Jam is kind of a tradition between the two of you. It was a favourite movie of both, a feel-good movie if you will and long ago you’d promised each other that when things got rough for one or the other and you needed a little pick-me-up, you’d watch the movie together. You didn’t have to say anything else, just ask if the other one wanted to see the movie. And whatever the two of you had planned instead didn’t matter, you were always there when the other needed you.
You asked him this time. Your novel wasn’t going that well and some serious doubts over your writing skills had plagued your mind. You needed a getaway. And you weren’t about to let her get that away from you.
“Oh… okay…” she responds, face crestfallen and sad eyes looking at her feet and you almost scowl. She’s doing this on purpose! She knows it’s a tradition between the two of you and by acting like this she hopes Jimin will bail out on you.
Well, joke’s on her, because that won’t work on-.
“But, I’m sure Y/N won’t mind if we do that some other time!”
You freeze. Did he just-? No, Jimin wouldn’t. But the smile on his lips, so hopeful, says otherwise.
You can feel everyone staring at you, waiting for an answer. Do they seriously expect you to be fine with this?! Jimin knows how much this means to you, what it exactly means about your state of mind right now! Is he seriously about to blow you off?!
Ana is staring at you with alarm, sensing you’re about to explode, warning you against it. She knows it’ll just hurt Jimin and you know that too, but what about you?
You ignore her stare, opening your mouth to give a piece of your mind when you meet Jimin’s eyes.
There’s no sign of ulterior motives in their familiar brown, just expectation as your best friend waits for the answer. You forget what you wanted to say and you just stare back. Why is it so damn difficult to say no to him?
A few seconds pass and Jimin, having sensed your hesitation, opens his mouth with a sigh. “Nevermind, we can just-”
“It’s fine! You can go!” you exclaim surprising everyone including yourself. Jimin turns to look at you flabbergasted but you just smile at him. You don’t know what drove you to do that. You just couldn’t bear to hear the disappointment in his voice while knowing you’re the one causing it.
“Are you sure…?” his voice is cautious, not wanting to go if it means it’ll get you even a little bit uncomfortable. Sweet Jimin, always thinking about others’ feelings. You smile again to spare his feelings, disregarding completely your own.
“Yeah, go ahead,” you reply and the sweetest smile takes over his lips, making all of this seem worth it.
“Great! Thank you!” he says, rushing to press a quick kiss to your forehead, taking you by surprise before turning to Dinah, “Just lemme grab some stuff,” he disappears down the hall into his room.
He reappears a few minutes later with a small bag over his shoulders, the smile still present on his lips.
“Ready to go?” Dinah asks as Jimin gives her a peck on the cheek and nods.
“See you tomorrow, guys. Y/N, again thank you,” he waves at all of you and flashes you a smile. You smile back, waving as well as he exits the apartment first.
Dinah though stops before walking out the door and then she turns to you with a grateful smile.
“Y/N, thanks for that, I knew he wasn’t gonna come if you weren’t okay with it. And I’m sorry for stealing him away. Have a good night,” she addresses you before moving to exit the apartment.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome…” you reply and as soon as the door closes behind her you continue, “...you little bitch!” you move wildly to get out of the couch after her at that blatant display of her having Jimin wrapped around her little finger, while Hoseok and Seokjin are immediately trying to hold you back.
She did that on purpose! She knew what that movie represented, she just wanted to spite you! You don’t care how sincere she looked, she did that on purpose!
“Hey, hey, calm down, they’re gone!” Ana steps in front of you to calm you down and slowly your breaths even out. Your tired limbs fall lifelessly on the couch, not anymore resisting Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s hold.
Once you’ve calmed down, all of them stare at you cautiously. You hate that. You hate the pity in their eyes, you hate how they know exactly how much this hurts you, you hate feeling like you need their help.
You hate feeling vulnerable.
“I’m fine,” you snap, shaking their arms off, even if your own still have a slight tremble and you stand up.
They exchange stares and you press your lips together as you stare at the ceiling. Taking a deliberately slow breath to control your trembling.
“I’m going to bed,” you announce, your tone final, not waiting to hear their responses before you leave the living room for the safety of your own room.
None of them makes an attempt to follow you and you’re grateful for that at least.
You stomp into your room, closing the door loudly before grabbing your laptop and sit on your bed with a huff.
You don’t need Jimin to watch Space Jam and feel good afterwards! It’s the movie that makes you feel okay, not the person you’re watching it with. That’s what you try to convince yourself as you search for the movie on Netflix.
But as you sit there fuming through the first few minutes of the film, you can’t concentrate. You feel pushed aside as if you don’t matter, from none other than your best friend.
You press pause and with a sigh, you push the laptop aside. Tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to watch your favourite movie with your best friend, to make jokes and laugh with Bugs Bunny, to feel better for once in the entirety of the last month. To feel comforted and safe in the presence of your best friend instead of moping miserably on top of your bed and feeling worse than before.
Instead, you grab your phone from your nightstand, scrolling through media in a poor attempt to distract yourself.
That’s how you spend your Thursday night and before you realize it you fall asleep with your phone still on your hands.
.
.
“Y/N. Y/N, wake up…” a soft voice brings you back from your slumber and you sleepily open your eyes to see Jimin hunched over you with a small, tender smile.
“What… What time is it?” you mumble, rubbing at your eyes and Jimin’s smile widens ever so slightly.
“It’s twelve past one. Come on get up, you’ll be dying in the morning if you sleep like this…” he responds quietly, urging you to abandon your current sleeping position for one that is more comfortable under the warmth of your covers. You’ve been curled up like a cat next to your laptop that’s still paused on Space Jam.
Jimin’s careful eyes flee to the screen, only for a second before they return to you, ever so gentle.
“Oh, okay then…” you mumble kinda dumbly in your sleep-infused haze and Jimin looks at you expectantly for a moment too long before he pushes you further across the mattress, to leave what you belatedly realize is more space for him.
“Scout over…” he whines, voice still quiet and you look at him perplexed. Why does he wanna sleep here, he has his own bed.
“Why?” you ask, purely confused and not at all hurt by the previous incident as Jimin expected but nonetheless his smile saddens before he stares shyly at your duvet.
“I was thinking, perhaps, we could still see the movie if you’re not too tired…” he mumbles, eyes wide effectively nailing the “puppy stare” he’s infamous for and naturally you find resolve crumbling. The previous anger is long gone when you stare at him so you smile back as you move aside and draw the covers for him to get under.
“Get here, you rascal,” you whisper back and his smile matches yours when he obeys and climbs in, dragging the laptop forward to restart the movie.
The both of you get comfortable against your headboard, Jimin’s arm hanging loosely around your shoulders as you watch Michael Jordan get sucked down a golf hole to the Looney Tune’s world.
The truth is you’re extremely tired and you most probably will fall asleep during the movie but you don’t mind sitting next to Jimin as the movie plays in the background and you bask in his warmth. Because at last, you feel the raging sea of your thoughts subside. Your mind is once again calm and serene, all your worries thrown aside in the favor of this one moment that makes you feel content.
Ana’s warning faintly echoes through your head but the words are not enough to dampen your mood or make you spend a little more of your focus on them, even though Jimin’s arms feel safe. Feel like home.
A small smile stretches your lips. Even when you feel your eyes heavy with sleep, you still snuggle closer to your best friend.
.
.
{Jimin’s POV}
He’s a terrible, terrible friend.
The thought repeats inside the crevices of Jimin’s mind like mockery as he drives. His fingers tap against the leather of the steering wheel impatiently, matching his haywire of thoughts in a weird kind of fucked up way.
He shouldn’t have left. He shouldn’t have made the subtle request in the first place. He knew you needed him, how could he not? It was stupid and selfish of him to leave you behind when you needed him.
But when Dinah gave him a distraction, a way to keep himself occupied… that’s what he wanted. Right? A distraction from everything, something to keep his mind off of things, to keep him from making any mistakes.
But even as he was lying on Dinah’s couch he couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how he left you behind in a time he knew was difficult for you just so he can finally breathe freely, focus on something else other than-.
Dinah was good at that. Making him forget.
But as awful of a friend he was, he’s apparently an even worse boyfriend.
When his thoughts got too much to handle, too much for him to ignore and pretend he didn’t feel any remorse for abandoning you, he left Dinah’s with an excuse. It was a stupid one, he knew, she knew but still, she let him go. Because, as much as she made Jimin go through before, she changed. Jimin could recognize that in the way she acted, the way she talked, even the way she kissed him. That’s why he gave her a second chance in the first place.
And then he goes and probably ruins it by being the worst boyfriend. A stupid decision really.
He parks his car in front of their building and he locks with a sigh.
It’s late, too late for you to still be awake. And if you are awake at such an hour, it’ll probably be because you’re writing and you most likely won’t want to be disturbed.
But Jimin can’t help it. His guilt is killing him, eating him up from the inside so he has to at least check.
When he softly taps on your door and gets no reply, he pushes it open.
He finds you fast asleep, curled up on top of your covers, phone still on your hands and laptop still open next to your form.
He smiles softly at the image before he approaches you quietly, taking the phone from your hands to place on your nightstand before he wakes you up.
“Y/N. Y/N, wake up…” he whispers softly, unable to keep the smile away from his lips at your adorable sleeping form. Waking you up is a necessary evil; otherwise, the next morning will consist of your sore muscles and your grumpy behaviour in all its glory.
“What… What time is it?” you ask quite drowsily and Jimin is relieved to see no sign of hurt in your voice. Nothing that exposes any malice or grudge hold against him.
“It’s twelve past one. Come on, get up, you’ll be dying in the morning if you sleep like that…” Jimin pushes you softly to move under the covers when his eyes find the screen of your laptop.
Paused in the first few minutes of Space Jam.
His chest constricts uncomfortably and he moves his eyes away in shame. The pain in his chest can only feel like a blade has impaled him with all the implications of how much of an awful friend he is. God, great job, Jimin.
But as you move over your mattress and under the covers, completely serene and calm, Jimin decides to make it up to you.
Towards the end of the movie Jimin realizes you’ve fallen asleep.
You’ve been quiet for a while now but it isn’t until he turns to point something out that he realises your eyes are closed.
You’re breathing slowly, snuggled up next to him, face pressed into the pillow as your chest rises and falls ever so gently.
His lips stretch into a smile, pushing a stray hair out of your face. He picks up the duvet to properly cover you and the movement makes you shift closer to him, to press your face on his side as if searching for him even in your sleep.
His smile widens. And then it falls.
God, he wants to-.
He stops the thought before it emerges.
His movements are deliberately slow and as quiet as they can be as he gets out of bed. He closes your laptop, leaving it on top of your desk before he walks to the door.
He stops then. He turns to take one last look at you and then he leaves.
.
.
{Y/N’s POV}
Next morning you wake up feeling fully rested.
You rub the sleepiness off your eyes before sitting up, hands landing on your soft covers, toes on the cold floor and you wiggle them back to life as you stretch your back with an appreciative moan.
You check your phone for the time, shocked when you find it’s too early for anyone to be awake on a Friday morning and you contemplate diving back into the haven of your covers. But the truth is you don't feel sleepy anymore and you were never the person to loll around in bed either.
So with one last yawn, you put on your slippers and make way to your kitchen. Since you’re the first one up, you could cook breakfast for the boys, reminding them of how much of a good roommate you are and riding them with guilt about the fact both of them haven’t bought any popcorn this last week.
Oh, maybe eggs and bacon? They’d love that! And plus, the tastier the recipe, the more prominent the guilt. You’ll have popcorn to spare for the rest of the year.
But as you make the turn for the kitchen, someone else is already banging pots and whisks in their attempt to concoct a delicious breakfast.
Jimin’s humming some song, whisking some batter as a pan rests on top of the stove, eggs already crackling on top of the boiling oil and the smell fills your nostrils as you get closer.
Dammit, no free popcorn for you. But at least you won’t have to cook.
“God, that smells amazing…” you comment as you take a seat on the kitchen island and Jimin turns around, eyes wide in reaction to the sudden noise but quickly smirks once it realizes it’s just you.
“Morning to you too,” he chuckles with a roll of his eyes as the whisk never stops moving in his hands. He quickly looks back on the stove when the crackling gets louder and he puts aside the batter with a curse to inspect the eggs.
“Want some help?” you can’t help the soft smile on your face, surprisingly ready to step up and aid his ministrations despite feeling relieved earlier of not having to cook.
He blows a stray hair out of his eyes before he relents. “Please.”
With a giggle, you abandon your spot to help the poor man as Jimin finally finds some time to drink some water. “Where do you want me, chief?” you ask with your hands on your waist.
Jimin chokes on his water, coughing uncontrollably and worry fills you as you’re quick to pat him on the back.
“Hey, easy with the water bud!” you joke and once his coughing stops he gives you a weak smile.
“Got it. Um, you could whisk the batter as I fry the bacon. It needs some more stirring…” he turns to take the done eggs out of the pan, face red from the coughing fit and you mumble a quick confirmation before taking a hold of the whisk.
The kitchen is then filled with the sounds of your whisking and the crackling of the oil in the pan, as Jimin continues humming that unfamiliar song. You gather your hair up in a ponytail to get them out of the way as you continue whisking next to Jimin. It’s been a long time since the two of you have been like this; cooking together, spending time next to one another and still feel close even when you say nothing. The comfortable silence stretches around you as sun rays lighten up the space, hitting at all the right spots to illuminate the two of you.
Your eyes move on their own accord, fleeting to Jimin’s concentrated face as he adds another bacon strip. His brown eyes are focused on the task ahead, eyebrows scrunching whenever a particularly loud crackling sound emerges and your lips move into shaping an involuntarily smile. The sun streams run through his hair, flecks of dust floating in the air around him, almost like a halo, bathing him in an almost ethereal glow. As if you’re his lover and he makes you breakfast after spending the night together, tangled between the sheets.
Your mind short-circuits and you blink when the thought catches up with your reason.
What the fuck was that?
At that moment Jimin leans almost too close to your face, as he ducks to avoid some oil spitting out of the pan.
Your eyes widen at the close proximity and you suck in a breath, realising your mistake as soon as his natural scent infiltrates your lungs.
God, he smells so good. It reminds you of the fresh scent of rain and flowers and something so obviously him.
Jimin leans away immediately and you almost lean forward.
Y/N, what the fuck?
His smile is blinding. “Sorry…” he says before taking out the bacon strips, and you shake your head to get the weird thoughts out of your mind.
“It’s fine…” you mutter, returning your eyes to the batter.
Suddenly very aware of Jimin next to you.
.
.
After you’re done with cooking and putting some aside for Hoseok when he wakes up, the two of you sit down on the kitchen island to finally eat.
“So how did you sleep, Y/N?” Jimin’s voice is coloured with a teasing timbre as he regards you with wiggling eyebrows.
You groan out loud. You remember falling asleep during the movie very clearly and he’s never gonna let you live that down. But you’ll be damned if you let yourself go down without a fight. Or at least bringing him down with you.
“It happened once! Plus I wasn’t the one ditching my best friend to go get laid!” you tease him back, although a bit of your bitterness over last night’s debacle slips through your words, the jab at him a little more serious than you intended at first.
Although your pettiness quickly ebbs away once Jimin’s smile falls and he looks at his plate with a downtrodden face. You suddenly regret saying anything, realising how much of a jerk you’ve been to bring it up when you already decided it wasn’t worth to keep a grudge over. You don’t want to be the reason he looks like this.
“I was just joking, Jimin, I’m not really mad,” you rush to comfort him, placing a tentative hand on top of his palm.
You feel at ease when you don’t feel him pull back. Though a grim sigh rolls off his lips.
“Maybe you aren’t, but that does not make the way I acted last night okay…” he admits, voice low as he rubs the base of his neck with his other hand. He bites his lip in thought and your eyes stick there for a moment before you shake your head back into reasoning.
Thankfully Jimin doesn’t seem to catch up on that. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was a terrible friend. I knew you needed me and I decided to leave. Please forgive me?” he begs with a pleading smile and damn it, it’s difficult to refuse anything to these eyes.
You sigh dramatically, tapping a finger on your chin as you pretend to ponder on it. “Say I do forgive you. How do you plan on replenishing those hours of agony I was forced to spend due to your absence?” you say with a mock-strict voice and Jimin smiles, already knowing you forgave him.
“I’ll do anything you want. Consider me your personal Genie,” he jokes, jutting his chin out and puffing up his chest.
“Does that mean I get three wishes and a spectacular musical number?”
He’s quick to glare at you. “Let’s not stretch this too much, okay?”
You chuckle when an idea pops into your mind. Oh, he’s gonna hate this, perfect.
The smirk that graces your lips can’t mean anything good, Jimin realises with a sigh.
“How about a little competition…?”
Jimin’s eyes widen in fear. “You don’t mean-?”
“A Just Dance Competition!” you announce loudly, grin threatening to split your lips as Jimin stares at you with a fond smile.
“Oh, god, I should’ve expected that…” he chuckles, the sound resigning as he shakes his head.
In your first years of college, competing on Just Dance choreographies was almost an everyday thing. You and Jimin would give your best dancing moves and Hoseok would judge. Although after many times cheating and being overly competitive to the point of threatening the poor judge, you decided to leave the activity behind.
“Come on, just this once…” you hold up one finger and bring out your best puppy stare to sway him. Jimin just stares at you with crossed hands on his chest.
“You said anything…” your voice visibly loses its excitement as your face turns a bit crest-fallen.
He doesn’t last for long.
“Fine. We can do this, I guess…” he relents.
“Yes!” you do a little victory dance at Jimin’s answer.
“But just this once! And no one else can see but Hoseok!” he protests, shaking a finger scarily at you and you groan but agree nonetheless.
“Okay! It’ll just be the three of us. Partners in crime!” you declare, enthusiasm ruling over your body, standing proudly with your hands on your hips.
Jimin shakes his head. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m your friend…”
You stick your tongue out to him. “Because you looove me,” you sing-song, pecking him on the cheek, with a loud smack.
Jimin’s frame remains still for a moment. Staring at you as you climb out of your stool to wake up Hoseok and share the news before he reaches out.
“Wait…” his hand grasps your arm, halting your steps as you turn around to him with a questioning look.
He takes a deep breath before a smile befalls his lips. “I just… I never got to thank you.”
You stare back, confused, trying to think of what he wants to thank you for, but as time passes and you come by with nothing, you get more and more perplexed.
“About what?” you sit down again, kinda curious of what is so important to him that he wants to thank you.
His smile is grateful. “You know, for being so considerate with this whole situation. I mean, we all know Dinah… And I appreciate you being so cool about it,” he says calmly, thankfully as he takes your empty plates to put them on the sink.
His words send a fresh wave of guilt through you and you bite your lip. You need to tell him the truth.
“Actually about that…” you turn to look at him, trailing off and unsure of how to tell him you actually, kinda, sorta hate his girlfriend with a burning passion.
“Yeah?” Jimin’s unaware eyes and sweet smile meet your shameful and guilty ones. He looks so oblivious and so happy. You can see he likes her, you can see he wants to make this work and even you can admit Dinah’s behaviour has changed. Maybe this is it for them. Maybe all that shit had to happen so the second time around they’d know better of each other and themselves.
Maybe they were meant to make it work from the beginning.
A lump gets stuck in your throat.
“... Of course,” you smile through the sickening feeling in your chest, one you choose to ignore, despite its magnitude, “I’ll always be there to support you no matter what.”
Jimin’s smile turns wider, radiant and you feel like it swallows you.
Like it’s the only thing you see.
.
.
It’s the next evening that you put on your dancing gear and get ready to beat Jimin’s ass.
Saturday is one of the few really free days you have. Jimin has no classes scheduled to teach today, Hoseok’s radio show isn’t scheduled for Saturdays and you’re just a writer with time to spare.
True to your words, you haven’t said anything to the other two friends of your group, keeping this little event strictly between the residents of this house. Although to be fair, there was another reason for the missed invite.
It’s not the first time during those two days that Ana’s words came to haunt you. To nag at your mind, making you wonder if there’s any truth to the accusations. Those accompanied with your behaviour around Jimin yesterday can only spell trouble for you and your dynamics.
No, there’s no way you feel anything else for Jimin besides cordial friendship. Ana just messed with your head, putting all those silly ideas in it to confuse you, hence why you can’t stop thinking about him naked.
Oops, did you say naked? You meant “in all those domestic scenarios where he’s your lover”.
You sigh. That doesn’t sound any better.
Okay, focus. You don’t like him. There’s no way.
Making your way into the living room, you find your roommates already in the area. Hoseok searches for Just Dance videos on youtube while Jimin stretches on the floor, leaning forward to touch his toes while granting you a perfect view of his plumpy behind.
God, what did I just say?!
You shake your head. That doesn’t count! You can still be attracted to someone and regard them only as a friend. Right?
Bottom line is you don’t like Jimin.
“Are we ready gentlemen?” you shot them a confident smile, already pumped up for this.
Jimin regards you with self-assurance colouring his features. “Ready for you to eat my dust? You bet I am,” he boasts, a sly smirk gracing his lips and you snort out loud.
“We’ll see about that…” is your collected comeback, not really worried about the outcome of this competition. You know you’re about to serve him his ass on a platter.
“Your trash talk sucks dick. Thank god I’m not the judge of that, both of you would be slammed to the ground right now…” Hoseok retorts with impassiveness as he puts a video on queue.
“You’re not here to roast us, you’re here to judge buttercup, so shut your hole and judge,” you bite back, the rush of the impending competition already getting you lightheaded, as you stare Hoseok down.
His eyebrow twitches in return. “Do you want me to change the song?” he challenges you.
At that, you and Jimin turn around immediately to see Twice’s Feel Special tutorial staring back at you from the screen and you realise that no. You don't.
“You’re fucking kidding me…” is Jimin’s less than excited response at having to dance the one song you’re a thousand times better than him.
This is gonna be a piece of cake.
.
.
“No, I’m done! You clearly cannot appreciate my natural charisma, which is simply a blasphemy! A blasphemy, I tell you! People would beg to be judged by me, you degenerates!” Hoseok bursts out of the couch, the dancing tutorial still echoing softly in the background.
“No, Hoseok, please! We promise we’ll be good!” you beg with not as much as a tiny speck of sympathy for your deteriorating dignity.
Jimin scoffs, crossing his hands on his chest. “We? I had no part in this disrespectful disruption and that should be duly noted!” he rushes to save face. Truth is you’ve gone a bit too far.
“Y/N, you threw your phone at me!” a sheepish smile takes over your lips as Hoseok’s eyes marvel at your completely nonchalant behaviour.
“I didn’t… throw my phone at you per se....” you struggle to find an excuse, “I… threw it to you!” you explain with a giggle once your words make somewhat sense.
“What?” Hoseok’s furrowed eyebrows are a clear indication he’s not buying your shit.
“I threw it to you, not at you! So you could... film us! And naturally, the competition would be fairer!” you say in explanation, making your story on the way though it seems none of your roommates believe you.
You suppose that’s fair.
“I would’ve believed you if you hadn’t screamed straight to my face, -and I quote-, “What do you know of judging you freaking cocksucker?”,” Jimin lets out a snort, one he’s quick to hide behind his lips once your ominous glare finds him.
“Well, that leaves us with no judge and we’re currently at a tie, so what will we do?”
Hoseok simply shrugs before heading off to the corridor. “Not my problem anymore, compadre!” he beams at you before disappearing into his room.
Another heavy sigh tumbles from your lips as the song in the background changes into a softer ballad and you turn around to Jimin.
“Well, I guess this was for nothing then…” you huff out but Jimin simply smiles.
“No, I don’t think so…” he responds cryptically and before you can question him about it, his hand grabs yours.
“Come on, let’s dance…” he mutters quietly as he drags you forward closer to him.
Your breath hitches as your palms rest on his chest, heart suddenly beating wildly out of rhythm. You try to chase away Ana’s suggestion, blaming these feelings only on the fact that he’s hot. That’s all. Nothing more.
“But it’s a ballad. It has no tutorial…” you sputter, panic lingering in your words in a futile attempt to get rid of that unexplainable warmth enveloping you as Jimin’s hands end up encasing you.
“So we’ll slow dance…” is his simple answer, clearly not at all as affected as you.
You don’t know why that drives something ugly through your chest.
There’s nothing else you can say to get out of this without making it weird, so you simply let him guide you.
It’s easy to fall into a routine, slowly swaying to the beat of the music as you rest your chin on Jimin’s shoulder. You let your hands find their way to Jimin’s back, sliding upwards to rest on his shoulder blades as his own spread comfortable warmth to the small of your back.
It’s easy to pretend like this. Easier to close your eyes and let the beat slowly fill your ears, as you bask in the safeness of Jimin’s embrace. Like it’s nothing but another normal Sunday night, and not a favour to you because he left you to go hang out with Dinah.
Dinah. The name brings a pang of dull ache in your sternum.
There’s a small lump in your throat that you swallow away.
You’re just worried for him.
A small voice wonders when you’ll grow tired of this.
Jimin’s audible sigh brings you back to reality. You lean back to find him staring at you. His eyes bore into yours and you can’t look away.
There’s something in them, something unreadable but it makes your cheeks scorch with the attention. Though you’re unable to avert your gaze from them. They remind you of that night, outside of your doors, when you were sure he was about to say something but ultimately choose not to.
Again, you wonder what that was. If he’s about to say it now.
But his lips remain pierced shut.
When the silence gets overwhelming you decide to break it.
You clear your throat. “So, uhm, have you done your christmas shopping yet?” you mumble, eyes zerowing on your feet that step side by side to Jimin’s.
His eyes still seek your own. “No, not yet…” he replies casually, hands soft upon your waist. “What about you?” he asks and you’re glad for the more than welcome distraction.
“Oh, yeah, I’m done with mine. Just haven’t figured what to get for Seokjin yet… You know how he gets about presents…” you mumble with a smile before you accidentally step on Jimin’s foot.
He hisses and your eyes widen as you rush to apologize.
“Shit, I’m sorry, maybe we should stop…”
Jimin shakes his head, “No, it’s fine…” he says, though his voice is a bit stiff and his eyes avert your own.
Nonetheless, he doesn’t stop dancing with you.
Again, there’s silence between you, only the sound of the song wafting through the living room. But this time it feels as if something else is floating through the air. Something tense.
You’re quick to fill the silence with a question that’s not easy to ask but it’s the only thing you can think of.
“So… you and Dinah, huh?” you just barely cover your shaky voice.
Jimin’s eyes find yours again. “Oh, uhm, yeah… I mean who would’ve thought, right?” he says with a surprised chuckle, “I mean after everything you’d think I would’ve stayed clear of her…” he says bewildered and an uneasy chuckle escapes you.
“Well, yeah, to be completely honest, we all were caught off guard…” you dare to say, remembering seeing him and Dinah in Seokjin’s bathroom that night. Only now thinking of his lips on her skin makes your stomach clench uncomfortably.
Jimin chuckles in response. “Yeah, I know. And I’m glad you are this civilized about it. I admit it wasn’t supposed to go this far, she was just there when I wasn’t okay and needed a distraction. She was familiar and comfortable. But then we ended up talking and… she’s really changed, Y/N. She kept apologizing for everything and I couldn’t help but think about how it would be if we tried again. I mean everyone deserves a second chance, right?” he concludes with such clarity and insight.
There’s a part of you that wants to say he’s stupid and naive for believing her. But the truth is he’s right. Everyone sane can see she has indeed changed and it reflects on their relationship as well. Jimin returns from their dates feeling happy and content.
You don’t know why that feels like a punch in the gut.
Your lips tug into a forced smile. “Right… wait, why weren’t you okay?” you ask, finally realizing you have no recollection of that. If he had been feeling less than okay at Seokjin's party, you can’t recall.
Jimin laughs your worries off, even though the nervousness in his features is obvious. “It was nothing. I just… saw something I shouldn’t have…” is his evasive answer. His eyes find yours again and they don’t dare to avoid you. Neither do you.
There’s something tense between you, something unspoken. You don’t think you can take any more of this without going mad.
But Jimin’s gaze doesn’t deter. It remains on you, as his hands tighten on your waist. The traitorous fluttering of your heart progresses and you mask your trembling inhale just barely. And suddenly an unexpected yearning blooms inside your lungs. One that’s swallowing you whole, threatening to take hold of your reasoning, threatening to push you forward and-.
Another Just dance tutorial comes into the screen and causes you both to jump in surprise and break apart.
Warmth spreads through your cheeks as you realize what you were about to do.
You were about to lean in.
Jimin clears his throat, eyes searching for his phone and he checks the time. “Oh, shit, I promised Dinah I’d go over there after we’re done…” he mumbles and you can’t help the slight sting that grows in your chest.
“Oh, yeah, go ahead…” you wind up saying, “I mean there’s no one to judge so technically there’s no competition anymore…” you try to get rid of the uneasiness with a chuckle.
Jimin looks at you with a carefree smile as if nothing happened. And you don’t know what hurts more, Jimin’s nonchalance about it or that nothing actually happened.
“Great, then I’m off. Bye, see you tomorrow!” he says, grabbing his phone and keys before stepping out of the apartment.
You stand there in the middle of the living room, eyes stuck on the closed front door. Knowing he went to find her and your chest constricts painfully.
You place your palm to steady your beating heart but it does not work. Not at all. Not when you keep wondering, wishing it was you in her place.
With terror, you realize you’re in deep shit.
.
.
You avoid Jimin as much as you can after that. December progresses, people flooding the streets to either buy presents, meet up with loved ones or visit the Christmas market at the centre, spreading love and warmth through an otherwise cold period.
Sadly that liberated flux of emotion cannot penetrate your tough walls of “perpetual desolation”, as you had once drunkenly described, and paired with the newly-realized feelings for Jimin, it renders you a real-life Scrooge.
That’s how Wednesday finds you with Ana and Seokjin, holed up in a cosy, little coffee house while trying to plan out this year’s New Year’s party.
It’s been a tradition of some sorts for you and your friends to host a New Year’s party at Ana’s apartment, given it’s the most spacious one, inviting all the people you know to celebrate the start of the new year in the best way possible.
You normally would be really pumped up about organizing the event, getting a small taste of the thrill the party would be weeks before. But today your mind isn’t at all able to focus on the preparations. Not that you could focus on anything else besides Jimin since Saturday.
“Okay, I’m sorry but we have to stop. Y/N clearly isn’t paying attention,” Seokjin acts out, his loud whining succeeds in startling you and you finally turn around to realize both of your friends stare suspiciously at you.
Seokjin is just confused, you can tell but Ana’s eyes tell a different story.
That night, after Jimin left for Dinah’s, you immediately called your friend, voice full to the brim with panic as you explained with a nervous stutter what happened. What you had realized and she tried to provide comfort in the best way that she could. She came over with a tub of ice cream, ready to talk it out with you and figure out what your plan was going to be. You also plead with her not to tell Hoseok, the boy couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.
So you’re left sitting here, trying to plan out a party and instead wondering what your course of action should be.
And also wanting to tell Seokjin, hoping he’d have something different to say than Ana. Her suggestion was not what you wanted to hear. Not in the slightest.
“What’s going on?” the man in question asks once he deciphers the mild look of despair in your eyes, voice a tad more empathetic than before.
Your eyes find Ana’s.
She lets out a sigh, before closing her notebook. “Guess I’ll have to say it then…” she muses and a grateful smile masks over your lips. It’s still quite difficult for you to wrap your head around this sudden, inconceivable situation, let alone utter it out loud.
Seokjin’s confusion reflects in the state of his eyebrows; scrunched in, twitching upwards as his eyes zero in on Ana.
Ana rolls her eyes, takes a breath and then-.
“Y/N realized she’s in love with Jimin.”
“Ana!” you protest with wide eyes at her choice of words, feeling your cheeks redden as Seokjin gasps in astonishment.
“Okay, okay, “likes” Jimin,” she reformulates although she doesn’t have you convinced she believes this.
“Jimin?!” the man’s wide eyes are filled with disbelief, mirroring your own sentiments about the current turn of events.
You nod quickly yet somehow bashfully as another gasp falls from Seokjin’s lips and Ana mumbles a quiet “I know”.
“What? How? Who? No, wait, we know who,” he cuts off himself but not for long, “When? When did your feelings change? Was it after your one-night special of passionate love-making? God I have so many questions!” his whole form is trembling with excitement, giddiness over the newly discovered news that leaves you sort of confused.
“I don’t know actually…” you mumble, overly self-conscious and yet you push yourself to continue, to pour out everything that came rushing over you in the last couple of days. Maybe it’ll help. “It feels more as if… as if those feelings were always there? Only I hadn't realised them until recently…” you mutter, eyes on your cup as you stir the now-cold americano.
It still amazes you how much of those words are real. You like your best friend and in some way, you think you always did. Though you guess you were too dense to ever really pay attention to that bubbling feeling in your chest every time he was near.
Not until Ana pointed it out.
“How did you realize it then?” Seokjin’s query is deceptively calm and you figure from the insistent nail-biting, he’s holding back to not scare you off. An act you greatly appreciate.
“Well, Ana and I had a talk the other day which gave me a lot to think about… And after spending some time with Jimin alone and I started to observe myself and my behaviour around him… how he made me feel… I realized it for what it was. For what it is…” you stare at your cup while stealing careful glances at Seokjin, who looks ready to burst with whatever he wants to say but refrains from doing so.
You roll your eyes with a chuckle. “You can talk now.”
A loud gasp tears through his mouth before, “Oh my god, this is so exciting! I already ship it, you’re perfect for each other! If I’m being honest here I never made a move on you cause I also thought you had something going on with Jimin, oh sweet baby Jesus this ship is sailing itself. It’s canon! I-”
“Wait, Seokjin, I think you forget a very important detail,” Ana interrupts him, gaze stern as ever and Seokjin visibly hesitates.
“What?”
“Dinah,” Ana answers and Seokjin’s eyes glaze over with recognition before his shoulders drop.
“Oh, right…” he remembers solemnly and steals a glance at you full with guilt.
You smile although a bit saddened. “It’s okay…”
“But, Y/N… Are you actually in love with him? Or was this just something Ana said to tease you?” he regards you with wary eyes.
You rush to answer the question, minutes before so certain of your answer, only for your lips to remain shut with uncertainty. “I… I don’t know. I mean I thought it was just a crush but I’m not so sure anymore. He’s all I can think about, all I could think about even when I didn't know I liked him, something he said, or the way his voice changed, wondering what the cause of it was. I catch myself actively wishing to be in Dinah’s place, to be the one Jimin goes home to at the end of the day, the one to get to call him hers…” your feelings catch up with you and you find yourself needing a moment to breathe. A moment when you realize it’s not just some stupid crush.
You take a shaky breath. “Fuck, I’m screwed…” you say, the consequences of your breakthrough taking over you like a tidal wave, as you come to a startling conclusion. “I need to tell Jimin.”
Ana takes a tense breath. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
But you don’t listen, just like you didn’t after your talk. “I’m not expecting anything out of it so it’d be okay either way, then I can move on at last.”
She shakes her head disapprovingly. “Y/N, no, you don’t know how he’s gonna react! He’s not some rando you happen to stumble upon the same bar four nights a week. He’s your best friend with whom you live together. If things head south, it wouldn’t be as simple as just changing your hangout spot to avoid him! He’s always gonna be there.”
Her words sound ominous and, more frighteningly, reasonable, slightly wavering your resolve but you don’t back down just yet, turning a blind eye to the worst possible outcome even if the chances of that happening are so much more than the opposite. “It’s Jimin, no matter what happens between us, we always have managed to work through it.”
Ana sighs, eyes sad as she stares at you, once again having to fight her way through to make you see reason. “Honey, this is not as simple as him stealing your cereal…”
You swallow the lump in your throat, stubbornly refusing to let it go. “Yeah, but what if-”
“There’s no “what if” Y/N!” Ana lashes out, eyes wide half with irritation half with concern as both you and Seokjin are left to simply stare at her. “There’s no way to tell if he’s feeling the same and he’s currently dating Dinah, who he’s happy with! All you’re gonna achieve now is getting him all confused and uncertain. Do you realize how that may affect your friendship afterwards? Do you really wanna jeopardize what you have over a “what if”?” Ana’s rant is over and finally, you can’t hide behind your finger anymore as her words echo in your mind. Although there’s a large part of you that wishes to deny it, you admit with a heavy heart she is right.
You can’t tell Jimin. Not right now.
You bite your lip as you avert your eyes, trying to suppress your tears as you shake your head, to show you finally see reason. Even if it hurts like hell.
Ana sighs, regret filling her otherwise soft voice. “I’m sorry for being so blunt, if the situation was any different I would be right there with you, being the first to support you in your decision to tell him. But it’s not. And I just don’t want to see either of you getting hurt…” she confesses, as she reaches her hand out to tentatively cover your own.
You let her as you swallow the lump in your throat. The one that makes you feel like you’re drowning.
“I have to agree with Ana on this… I think it will be for the best if you didn’t tell him for now. But whatever you decide to do…. We’ll support you…” Seokjin adds with tender words, that Ana nods furiously to agree with, as he squeezes gently your other hand.
A sad smile manages to find its way onto your lips as you give them both a gentle and thankful glance.
“Thank you, guys…” your voice is barely audible. Then you shake your head, blinking the tears away and slap your cheeks to get rid of the choking in your throat.
“Okay, enough of this. Let’s go back to what we actually came here to do!” you exclaim with a smile and Ana and Seokjin smile back as they open their notebooks once more.
You might be going through a heartbreak but at least for now, you’ll be fine.
.
.
After that conversation, Ana and Seokjin took it upon themselves to help you find someone else, even if you told them a thousand times you weren’t interested.
Ana proposed Seokjin could give Namjoon your number but Seokjin was quick to inform you he was currently seeing someone. Ana tried to hook you up with a work friend but to be honest, there really was no spark with Youngjae so you gave up on that fairly easily. But there’s this guy you see a few times a week at your favourite coffee shop and just a few days ago he approached you asking for your number. At first, you were hesitant to give it but you knew Ana and Seokjin were right on the whole dating thing. If you want to get over Jimin, you need to give another person a chance. So you gave your number to Jaehyun and now, a week later after your talk with Ana and Seokjin, just two days before Christmas, you’re getting ready for your date. Seokjin had suggested you had the date at his restaurant and the probability of being somewhere familiar, somewhere comfortable was like music to your ears.
In the meantime, your avoidance of Jimin hasn’t subsided. There are moments when you think he’s on to you, or that he thinks something’s weird but whenever he tries to bring it up, Seokjin or Ana or your disappearance halt him.
The truth is you hate it. It feels awful to avoid your best friend, it’s horrible pretending as if you don’t see the hurt in his eyes when you dismiss him. But you don’t trust yourself enough to not spill anything to him yet. And Ana was right, you can’t afford to risk it.
So that’s your plan for as long as needed. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Although when the front door closes with a loud bang, you have a feeling it’s not gonna be that easy today. Hoseok’s over at Ana’s as she promised to keep him there to give you and Jaehyun some privacy. So the only other possible explanation is Jimin returning earlier from his date.
You peak out of your bedroom to see him marching down the hall. His eyes stare stubbornly, intensely at the floor as if they try to burn holes through the carpet as his heavy steps boom through the apartment. That vein in his forehead is pulsing, threatening to burst at any moment, his lips pulled into an angry frown as he takes off his jacket. He tries to rip it off with hasty movements as if it’s something tangled to him, choking him.
“Jimin, is everything okay…?” you ask cautiously as he still struggles with his jacket in front of his bedroom.
He curses through clenched teeth, ripping the jacket off his hand with one sharp movement. “Yeap. Everything’s okay. More than okay! Perfect! Everything’s perfect!” he exclaims, even though the irony in his voice doesn’t do much to convince you.
“...Do… you wanna talk about it?” your voice is careful, wishing quite selfishly and guiltily he doesn’t, because you know if he does want, there’s no chance you’ll be able to deny him, date or no date.
He huffs before searching for his phone. “What’s there to talk about? That my girlfriend is a successful doctor that apparently gets paged in the middle of our date? That children need her and I can't complain? That I’m searching for my phone and I can’t fucking find it?!” he bursts before taking a deep breath to calm himself.
Your stomach flips uncomfortably in response to the hurt hiding in Jimin's eyes. His face is filled with worries, marking the space between his eyebrows and you want to smooth your thumb over the lines. Your chest constricts in a bothersome matter when you spot his glassy eyes. It’s not an image you like to see on him.
So, against your better judgement, you do what you’ve tried so long not to.
You talk to him.
“You’re not a bad person for feeling angry. As long as you don’t put the blame on her you’re okay. It’s normal. You just want to spend some time with your girlfriend…” you respond, trying to hide the sadness colouring your voice at the word “girlfriend”, as you walk out of your room into the hallway to talk properly to your friend.
His eyes, filled with something akin to shame, find yours and you wanna wipe that frown from his lips with yours.
But you control yourself. You’re not an animal.
“Also, check your jacket…” you point at the article of clothing with a soft smile, and as he follows your advice, he gives you a small, closed-lip smile. But it’s still a smile.
With a tired chuckle, he finds his phone in one of the pockets and shakes his head before his eyes find yours. Although as they land on your form, the chuckle fades out, confusion written on his skin.
“Are you going somewhere?” he asks, pointing to the mini black dress you’re wearing and sudden heat scorches through your cheeks.
“I, uhm… Yeah, on a date…” you chuckle nervously, rubbing your arm, eyes on your feet. “Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m going, the guy’s too hot for me…” you try to joke but Jimin has none of it.
“Bullshit, you’re too hot for him! You always do that, you put yourself down, thinking you’re not good enough, but Y/N, they’re not good enough for you! You’re amazing, funny, smart, kind and, yeah, sometimes grumpy as hell, but you deserve more than feeling like one of someone’s many choices. You’re the only one. So treat yourself like one as well.” Jimin interjects, voice serious and kinda fed up but his last words soften. He looks at you with such tenderness you can almost pretend he feels the same. You can almost pretend he wants you too.
Almost.
You clear your throat. “Thanks, sport…” you respond with a chuckle, trying to chase the tension away, but Jimin’s eyes won’t budge. They seem uncertain as if he’s trying to figure out something, but their intensity only tortures you more and you have to say something to break free from them.
“Uhm, yeah so I have to go now…” you move back to your room to get your purse and coat and Jimin’s eyes finally move away from you with a cough.
“Yeah, uhm… Yeah, of course…” he rushes to say, eyes fidgeting anywhere but close to you as he struggles to open his door.
“...Unless you want me to cancel?” you propose, knowing full well if he says yes, there’s no way you can say no to him. And that Ana is probably gonna beat your ass.
Jimin almost chokes at that, face flushing, turning his body towards you yet his eyes look at the floor. “What? Why? Why would I want you to cancel?” he stutters, eyes fidgeting between you and his door.
“Well, I figured you’d want to talk some more about Dinah…” you say softly, thinking you must have hit a nerve on his pride but he visibly relaxes at your words.
“Oh, uhm, no, don't worry about it, I’ll be fine. Go enjoy your date, and say hi to Seokjin from me,” he responds with a smile, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
But before you get to ask him if he’s sure, or how he knows the date is at Seokjin’s restaurant, he’s already hiding in his room, behind his closed door.
You sigh. Maybe he wants to be alone. To be alone and think it over by himself. Yeah, he’ll be okay.
You don’t do a good job of convincing yourself as you put on your coat and walk to the front door.
He’ll be fine.
.
.
20 minutes later, you find your way back into the apartment, throwing your keys on the glass bowl next to the door, taking your shoes off in front of a very confused and suspicious Jimin who watches a movie on the couch.
You take off your coat and plop yourself down next to him, as he keeps on watching you weirdly.
You pick up some of his popcorn, before. “What are we watching?”
Jimin presses his lips together in a poor attempt to conceal the grin threatening to spill all over his lips before he schools his face into a strict expression. “I told you I’d be okay…”
Your eyes are glued to the TV as you feign ignorance. “I know. And I didn’t bail out on him. He did,” you said, sudden interest in the movie piqued.
Jimin’s eyes widen, shuffling on his spot with newly found vigour. “What? You want me to talk to him for you?”
That takes you by surprise. You turn to look at him only to see his eyes stuck to you, as serious as ever. Does he even know Jaehyun?
Oh god, he shouldn’t talk to him.
“Ah, no, no, he didn’t do it on purpose! He just… had somewhere to go. We’ll just reschedule,” you reply knowing full well you’re not gonna do that.
Even if Jaehyun was entirely too eager to do that when you told him you had a family emergency.
Truth is you didn’t drive too far before you yielded and texted Jaehyun to cancel. Thinking Jimin would’ve been stuck at home alone and sulking didn’t sit well with you.
Jimin’s suspiciousness doesn’t leave his eyes but he visibly relaxes. “Oh, if you’re okay then…” he simply says before his smile reappears. Then he goes on to answer your previous question, informing you about the movie playing in the background.
You rest your chin on your palm as you listen to him intently. Absorbed by the excitement in his voice, the glint in his eyes as he explains the plot to a movie he clearly enjoys. His cheeks are flushed, heated up by how quickly he’s talking, voice melodic and excited. His hair falls on top of his forehead, messy and shiny, moving slightly with every tilt of his head when he’s thinking over something. His lips form a pout when he’s uncertain over a specific detail but the truth is you don’t care.
Not about the movie.
.
.
It’s towards the end of the movie when you feel Jimin turning towards you.
You copy his actions, turning to face your best friend with a questioning glint in your eyes. “Spill it out, champ.”
Jimin smiles at your words, resting one arm at the back of the couch, behind you. “I just wanted to thank you for staying-”
You gasp, once again pretending you don’t know what he’s talking about. “I told you the date got cancelled, I had to come back! Didn’t you listen, you dingus?”
Jimin’s smile widens, looking away with a low chuckle. “Right…” he says, though not looking very much convinced. “Even so… you being here means a lot, so thank you…” he concludes with soft eyes, a kind of tenderness you’re not used to seeing reflecting in his gaze, at least not directed towards you. But it’s not foreign, not even one bit.
A gentle smile graces your lips as you answer. “Of course. You’re my best friend,” you respond in an as-a-matter-of-fact way while you give him a playful nudge on the ribs.
He chuckles, eyes falling to his lap. “You know, I might be joking about regretting being your friend when you annoy the shit out of me…” you both laugh at that, as you shuffle in your spot, “but if I’m grateful for anything in my life is the years you’ve been a part of it. I wouldn’t risk our friendship for anything. You’re the best friend I could ever have and I hope I’m at least half as good a friend to you,” he concludes, words filled with emotion, even though his voice is serene and soothing.
The display of emotion tugs at your heartstrings but when it’s your turn to return them words fail you. You can’t even begin to put what Jimin means to you into words, newly-discovered feelings put aside. What his friendship means to you, what those years spent together made you cope through and how they changed you, those things are bigger than the strict barrier of words.
So, you do what every self-respected awkward human being would do.
You joke about it.
“Did you swallow a Barbie DVD or something? Where did that come from?” you chuckle in borderline embarrassment, as you try to get off the couch.
“No, Y/N, I’m serious,” he reacts, voice stern as he rests his palm on your leg to stop you from leaving.
Though both pairs of eyes widen at that.
Because you never changed out from the mini black dress and when you moved earlier the fabric had ridden up your thighs.
So now Jimin’s palm lays on the top part of your smooth, bare thigh.
Instant heat washes over you, as you barely manage to mask the gasp bubbling up in your throat. Your eyes fall to his fingers, not daring to meet his gaze as you feel the warmth of his skin spreading through to yours.
Your heart beats wildly inside your chest and there’s a certain, familiar discomfort in the pit of your stomach.
He doesn’t move his hand. You can feel his eyes on you and there are goosebumps where his gaze trails on your skin.
You let your eyes find his own.
You’re not at all ready.
Not for the darkness in them, not for the haziness and tension, certainly not for the dark part in you that tells you there’s more to them than those things. No, not for the intensity and lust hidden in their dark depths.
No, you’re not ready.
But their existence is as tangible as it could ever be.
You can’t move, not an inch and even if you could, you wouldn’t. You’d choose not to. The heat in his stare sends chills down your arms, your cheeks scorching and your gaze falls to his plump lips, a sharp yet quiet inhale escaping you at just a small peek of his tongue.
And then you swear you feel-.
“Sup, guys? How have you been?” Hoseok’s voice fills the apartment as he steps inside from the front door. The sound of his cheerful entrance has you both instantly jumping away from each other in panic.
“Uhm, fine, we’ve been fine!” you struggle to reply, voice an octave higher as Jimin looks away and nods with you.
Hoseok takes off his shoes nonchalantly, not having a single clue about the thick tension in the air when he notices your outfit. He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. “Did you go somewhere?”
You swallow nervously, foot tapping the floor. “Ah, yeah, I had a date…”
Hoseok looks ever more confused now for some unknown reason. “You did?” he asks, eyes moving to Jimin.
Jimin rushes to explain. “It got cancelled.”
“Ah… I see,” Hoseok replies as if somehow this makes more sense.
But you’re too preoccupied with Jimin’s proximity to question Hoseok’s reaction, instead focusing on trying to appear calm and not at all flustered and worked up as you are. You stand up from the couch as calmly as you can. Though you admit it’s not very much calmly. “Uh, yeah, so anyways I should go change. Goodnight guys!” you mumble quickly, eager to escape and you run off to your room.
Hoseok’s confusion is back when you disappear into your room and he turns to Jimin who also gets up and discreetly readjusts his pants. “What’s up with her?”
“Wouldn’t know. Actually, I’m quite sleepy too, so goodnight!” Jimin rushes to exclaim and then he’s off, walking rushedly towards his room.
Leaving Hoseok alone in the living room and baffled as hell.
.
.
Your legs can’t take you into your bedroom any faster and you rush to close the door with a slight lightness of breath.
Oh, god.
What just happened?
Your knees still feel weak, legs trembling and you immediately sit on the floor. Not trusting your limbs to carry you as far as your bed is, eyes and mouth wide in shock as you bring your hands to cool your heated cheeks.
You’re not crazy, you couldn’t have imagined this. You swear it wasn’t just your wishful thinking. No matter how much you want this, there’s no way your mind could have imagined such an intense way of staring. His eyes seemed like black holes, swallowing you whole and you would’ve gladly let him if Hoseok hadn’t interrupted.
Which reminds you. Right before Hoseok walked in you’re certain you felt the edges of his fingertips moving. And not away, as if belatedly realizing of his slip up.
Moving upwards.
“Fuck…” is your breathless realization, biting your lip as heat pools between your thighs. Making you reminisce of your little rendez-vous eight months ago and all the ways he made you feel, of how he felt pressed against you, inside you, drawing moans out of your lips as if it was the last thing he’d ever do.
How his mouth felt against your skin.
You slap some sense into yourself.
No! What were you thinking?! What was he thinking?! He has a girlfriend! A girlfriend whose sudden departure had him feeling upset merely hours ago. Maybe this behaviour was just a cry for attention caused by this event and you shouldn’t encourage it.
There was attraction, that is true. If there wasn’t any attraction between the two of you, you wouldn’t have slept together all those months ago in the first place. But this is not the time, nor the place. Not when he has a girlfriend and not when your feelings are so much more than just that.
It’s bad news and you gotta do your best to nip it in the bud. Crush it before the frustration gets any stronger and threatens to take hold of your sanity.
You let a deep breath infiltrate your lungs. As if the fresh air could bring a new sense of logic, resolve and determination to help you get through this unscathed.
You get up off the floor to get ready for sleep.
.
.
Only, it’s close to 4 am and you still can’t sleep.
You fuss around in your bed, the rustling of the sheets the only sound breaking the otherwise calm serenity of your dark bedroom.
You huff in annoyance, throwing the covers off of you, suddenly too warm for your liking. You’ve been trying to sleep for three hours now, but instead of blissful numbness, when your eyes close your mind is filled with the look in Jimin’s eyes from this afternoon. Turning you on despite your best efforts.
You sit up, back on your headboard, hands crossing over your chest as you tap your fingers on your arm. The shorts you wear to sleep feel uncomfortably stifling with sweat and you shuffle quickly out of them.
Only a particular movement has you clenching your thighs from the pleasurable friction on your clit and you bite your lip to keep the moan from spilling out.
Jimin’s dark eyes come to mind once more.
You inhale deeply, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, now dressed in only that and your panties. You bite your lip once more in thought and concealed shame.
You shouldn’t.
But your inhibitions don’t stop you from recalling that night.
{{You throw another shot down with a blissful smile as you watch Jimin do the same, only with significantly less enthusiasm than you. It’s already been one hour since you’ve been here, drinking your guts to help him move on, and already two girls walked away from him. It might be the way he slouches on the bar, droopy face that screams “recently dumped and still in love” but you refuse to leave here tonight without Jimin getting laid. Or at least having some fun.
“Come on, I’m sure someone else will approach you!” you nudge him playfully and Jimin scoffs as he proceeds to order another drink.
“Yeah, right. If anything I’ll just make a fool of myself again…” he grumbles, eyes focused on the empty shot glasses on the bar.
You throw an arm around his shoulders, determined to cheer him up. “Well, it’s because you’ve gotten rusty, bud! Give it some time, you’ll get better!” you observe vigorously, poking his cheek but the gloom expression doesn’t abandon him.
“I don’t think I will…” he mutters, almost too quiet for you to hear, but you do.
“What? Why?” your perplexion is audible in your words and Jimin lets out a breath.
“I just… I don’t get why would anyone bother to approach me. What’s there to like anyway…?” he admits quietly. His eyes avoid yours but you can see the sorrow, the defeat lacing their edges. The response fills you with unbridled rage over how her insistent verbal abuse has seeped into his mind and made him question himself and his worth like this.}}
Even now, that rage hasn’t subsided completely, finding yourself getting pissed at how much his previous relationship with Dinah had ruined him.
{{“Follow me for a second,” you say through gritted teeth as you drag him out of his stool to a more quiet place of the bar.
You step into the hallway that leads to the rooftop with a pretty begrudging Jimin trailing after you. The corridor is currently devoid of people, hence rendering it the perfect spot for what you're about to say.
“Why are we here?” Jimin asks like a weary teenager, crossing his arms on his chest as he rests his body on the wall.
“We’re here because you’re a freaking idiot and people would’ve probably stared if I laid it on you back there! You seriously cannot believe there’s nothing likeable about you!” you scold him with your hands on your waist.
Jimin’s eyes fall to his shoes, a pout forming on his lips.
“Well, there isn’t…” he responds genuinely and you swear you’re gonna swat him with a broom.
“Well, better buckle up soldier ‘cause I’m about to send your princely ass to confidence town,” you declare with ferocity and Jimin regards you with a confused but amused smile.
“So am I a soldier or a prince, I’m confused.”
“You’re both, you’re a prince who served on the front line in the dragon war,” you respond, deciding to humour him, seeing at least that brings a smile back on his lips.
“Is that from your book?” he asks back, a very carefully-hidden smirk gracing his face.
“No, it’s not, I- Hey!” you stop once you realize what he’s been doing, “Stop distracting me! Now stop and listen to me you bastard!” you point your finger at him and his smile shows he’s not in the least sorry.
“People go crazy about you everywhere you go! Seriously you’re the most likeable person I know, I could see that even back in high school when we didn’t hang out as much! You’re just… You’re the most perfect human being ever!” you exclaim with zeal, desperate to make your best friend see himself as you do.
Jimin shakes his head even if a small blush starts to bloom on his cheeks. “Now you’re just messing with me…”
“No I’m not!” you interject, taking a step closer until you’re standing right in front of him. “You’re the kindest and smartest, I mean you passed your college exams with flying colours!” a shy smile graces his lips at that, “And on top of that, you’re so handsome! I mean look at your lips dude! People literally pay to get their lips like this!” an impromptu laugh escapes him and resonates in the empty hall, “And the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh is just plain adorable, but on the other hand girls - and guys - would kill to lick those abs, or have a grasp at your pecs,” you cite all of Jimin’s great characteristics, but in your desire to show him how perfect he is, a slight slip of the tongue happens.
“And your thighs-” you begin but instantly stop, regret filling your mind as soon as you realise what you were about to say.
Truth is you always had a weakness for his thighs. You admit, his body is pretty phenomenal as a whole but his thighs, in particular, are a certain weak spot for you. In shame, you admit you fantasized about them trapping you between them more than once.
But, alas, Jimin catches on that and he stands up straight, a questioning look in his eyes.
“What about my thighs…?” he asks curiously, eyes regarding you with interest as they dare you to continue. You swallow nervously and the movement has Jimin’s eyes glint with sudden realization.
“Um, they… um,” you lose your train of thought as the look in his eyes changes to something darker and he takes a step closer.
“They are...um, toned!...” you say in relief at finding a pretty innocent word but Jimin doesn’t slow down. You take a step back.
“And…?” he demands, not at all satisfied by your explanation, unrelenting and asking for more. He takes another step forward to cover your own, diminishing the distance between you.
“And firm and… sturdy…” you mumble as if in a daze as the predatory glint in his eyes only grows.}}
In real-time, the look in Jimin’s eyes matches the one from earlier tonight and you rub your thighs together for some needed relief.
{{“And…?” he asks, voice low and commanding as he effectively traps you against the wall, palms resting on each side of your face, dark eyes pinning you in place.
You swallow the lump in your throat, feeling a sudden emptiness between your legs as your eyes fall to his plump lips.
“And... thick…” you finish softly, breathlessly as your chest moves quickly with each intake of breath, struggling to keep your head straight.}}
Your hands find their way down your body as if they have a mind of their own.
{{“So you like my thighs then…” he whispers, his breath fanning over your lips, a soft gasp rolling off your tongue.
“I- I don’t…” you don’t even manage to convince yourself and the predatory smile returns on his lips.}}
Your hand rests on the hem of your underwear.
{{“Really?... So…” he trails off, smirk ever-present as he slowly moves his right leg. “... it wouldn’t matter if I did this?....” he teases and presses his thigh against your clothed centre.}}
They move the article of clothing aside to press at your aching clit.
{{You don’t manage to conceal the gasp that trudges over to a moan, as his toned muscle presses against your panty-clad clit underneath your skirt. Your hands fly to grab at his biceps and a low chuckle falls from his lips as his face lowers towards your neck.
Your cunt clenches over nothing and your hips buck into his thigh desperately.
“Do you want more…?” he whispers with a tantalizing hum, intimately beneath your ear and a shiver runs down your spine.
You feel his thigh flexing against you as if teasing you about what’s to come if you say yes.
In your drunken and lust infused mind you can’t find a single reason to say no.}}
Your fingers move slowly, rolling the swollen nub between them as a quiet sigh breaks free from your lips, remembering the way his thigh felt against you. Your movements are soft, careful, not wanting to rush it as even more memories flood your mind.
{{It doesn’t take long for Jimin to take you home after you say yes. You drive back in his car, barely keeping your hands to yourself as he drives. It takes all your willpower not to make him stop the car and ride him in the middle of the street. Instead, you only let one hand palm him through his jeans and the other dive beneath your skirt to toy with your folds. Pleasuring both of you at the same time and having Jimin going completely mad with want, a promise hiding in his eyes as he drives.
Once you reach your building, you’re immediately on each other, not caring who might see. You climb up the old stairs in a haze, hands exploring each other’s bodies, grabbing at the tender part, lips tracing the exposed skin until you reach your apartment. Your back hits the front door, a moan rolling off your tongue and Jimin swallows it eagerly as his lips devour yours.
His hands are rough at your hips, grinding his crotch against you, your bare thighs rubbing against the roughness of his jeans as you blindly search for your keys.
“Could you- could you stop for a second and help me get the door…” you mumble against his mouth when your fingers finally grasp at the metallic key in your pocket.
Jimin doesn’t stop kissing you though. “Honestly, I don’t mind fucking you senseless against it,” he growls at you, biting your bottom lip as his fingers dig into your hips.
“Fuck…” the image his words paint arouse you a great deal more than what you’d like to admit. Your head hits the door as the image floods your mind.
“No, we can’t…” you say, still somehow self-conscious, “People might see…” you mumble with closed eyes as Jimin leaves open-mouthed kisses on your collar bones.
“Let them see then…” he responds with confidence as he grips at your chin and forces you to look at him.
His eyes are hooded, completely dark under his heavy gaze on you. He licks his lips as he stares at you like he wants to ravish you and you lean your head down to capture his thumb between your lips.
You stare at him innocently through your eyelashes, sucking the digit into your mouth. Jimin’s eyes widen even more. You roll your tongue teasingly around him, making sure your eyes remain on him, as he breathes heavily and then you let it go with a loud “pop”.
Jimin stares back at you. Tongue running across his bottom lip before-.
“Fuck, okay, okay. I changed my mind. I don’t want anyone seeing you like this but me.” he curses softly, before taking the keys from your hands to open the door.}}
Your fingers are faster now, soft whimpers falling from your lips. Too quiet for anyone to hear as your other hand travels beneath your T-shirt to grasp at your breast.
{{You’re a mess of limbs and kisses as you stumble towards Jimin’s room. Jackets have been discarded somewhere in the living room and you don’t even bother on closing the door. Hoseok’s is bound to spend the evening at Ana’s, so you don’t have to worry about being quiet either. You have the place to yourselves.
“I want to suck you off, can I suck you off?” you mumble between kisses, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. You can’t wait to feel the weight of his length on your tongue and judging by how he’s straining against his jeans you’d say he can’t wait either.
Another curse rolls from his tongue as he rushes to help you undo the last few buttons. “Yes. Fuck yes,” he grunts in anticipation once his shirt is off.
You push him to sit at the edge of his bed, too impatiently. You kneel between his legs, hands running up and down his thighs as he leans back, palms supporting his weight against the mattress as he stares at you lazily, biting his lip.
You let your eyes wander over the expanse of his smooth chest, taking in the sight of his sturdy muscles, his perked up nipples and his sculpted abs. A high pitched whine escapes you at how absolutely perfect he is. You want to ruin him.
Jimin smirks lazily at you. “Like what you see?”
You only nod, licking your lips and indulging yourself.
You move upwards carefully, placing a few butterfly kisses against his chest, letting your tongue roll over his nipples, which he greatly appreciates if his loud moans are anything to get by.}}
You roll one perked nipple beneath your fingertips. A quiet moan comes off your lips in response and you buck your hips into your hand, aching for something more.
{{You move lower, letting your tongue trail the edges of his abs. The warm muscle drives the man insane by the traitorous pace it takes as his chest rises and falls with every breath.
His hand winds up tangled in your hair, threading through the lock to tug softly at the roots and making you groan in arousal.
You’re quick in unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them downwards until they’re off. Anticipation rolls over you in waves as you move to the waistband of his boxers and Jimin tucks some strands away from your face.
You let his cock spring free and it taps against his stomach. Your mouth salivates at the sight. Pulsating veins run down its shaft, its head a pretty pink, tip glistening with precum and you lick your lips with wanton. He’s not very big, not in length, but the size of his girth seems to compensate for that more than enough. He’s thick, thicker than what you’re used to and even if you had some lengthier ones, you’re sure this one will put them all to shame.
Jimin’s patience runs low and a low whine echoes in his dulcet voice.
“Don’t just stare at it…” he mumbles and for the first time since the club, he sounds almost shy. Something which makes your stomach flip in arousal.
A smirk meets his eyes as you lower your head, his hand still in your locks and you take a tentative lick at the tip.
Jimin lets out a shuddering breath, eyes never abandoning you or your movements as you rest your hands at his thighs for leverage. You keep on teasing him, feeling his muscles tense beneath your palms and a crooked smile paints your lips.
You lower your mouth again, taking his head into your wet cavern and a soft moan breaks free from Jimin’s lips. His hand tightens its grip at your hair, nudging softly forward, not enough to be forceful but enough to clue you into what he wants.
Instead, you hollow your cheeks and a sharp gasp escapes him.}}
Finally, you move your underwear aside to tease your entrance and proceed to insert one finger into your throbbing cunt.
{{You begin moving your head up and down his length slowly, torturously and his eyes roll back into his head as it lols back. You don’t increase your pace, letting your jaw adjust to his wide girth, slowly letting each inch delve into your mouth.
“Fuck…, you-” Jimin tries to talk only for another gasp to tear through his lips as you take him deeper. Coating him with your saliva and hollowing your cheeks again. He moans loudly, his hand rolling your hair into a fist, tugging at the roots as you take him fully, feeling him resting heavily on your tongue.
You pick up the pace steadily, bobbing your head and nails digging into the unmarred skin of his thighs. A hiss tumbles from his mouth in response.
You readjust your position to take off your shirt and bra. You then put more weight into your knees to give your full focus on sucking him off. You keep your cheeks hollowed, going faster and faster, a sturdy grip on Jimin’s bare thighs as your eyes remain stuck on his face.
You swear you’ve never seen anything more beautiful than Jimin’s face as he drowns in pleasure. His eyes are tightly shut, scrunched in concentration to not miss the feeling of your mouth on him. His mouth is agape as he struggles to breathe properly, soft gasps escaping his mouth instead.
It strikes you hard; how magnificently ruined he looks. How absolutely wrecked you have him, and the stickiness in your underwear grows knowing he looks like this because of you.
Then he opens his eyes lazily, orbs lost in desire and as they rest on your bare tits, his hips instinctively buck into your mouth with a cry before he stops himself.}}
You take a quick break to stop yourself from finishing too early and instead pay attention back to your clit.
{{“Fuck, stop for a second…” he breathes out harshly, pushing you away from his cock as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Why?” you say thoroughly confused and Jimin chuckles breathlessly at your puppy stare. He then moves forward to press a soft kiss to your lips.
“Cause I was about to cum on your tits and I’d rather do that inside you…” he whispers against your mouth and you find yourself biting your lip to suppress a moan.
“Now please let me taste you…” he mumbles seductively as he forces you up. You stand up in front of him, his head in level with your breasts. His eyes stare up at you, wide and deceptively innocent before he wraps his mouth around one nipple and rolls it with his tongue. You gasp out loud, arching your chest against him for more. His fingers graze your thighs in the meantime, moving upwards to wrap around your underwear and get rid of it, leaving you bare beneath your skirt.
“I don’t…” another gasp interrupts your words as he runs a finger through your folds. “I don’t think I have the patience for that…” you stutter, hips rolling over his fingers.
A harsh suck at your nipple has you crying out loud, grabbing at Jimin’s locks. While he drives two fingers in you, without warning.
“Fuck, Jimin!” your high pitched protest resonates around the apartment and Jimin curses, moving the two fingers slowly inside you.
“Fuck, you take my fingers so well, baby…” he murmurs against your chest, his low timbre sounding like heaven in your ears. His fingers move slowly against your walls, just barely find your g-spot that has you seeing stars.
“You’re so wet, look at you…” he brings the two fingers between you. They glisten in the soft light of his nightstand, strands of your arousal connecting the two digits as he moves them into a V shape. He stares at them, mesmerised before pushing one digit into his mouth. He moans at the taste, before pushing the other finger towards your lips.
Instead, you grasp at both fingers and suck at them obediently, making sure to suck all your slick from his fingers. Your eyes remain on Jimin, whose eyes almost roll in bliss.
“Okay. Fuck, okay. Get that skirt off and get on the bed,” comes his urgent reply as he all but throws you on the mattress after the skirt has joined the rest of your clothes on the floor.
You lay across his sheets, spreading your legs wide for him and Jimin all but falls on his face trying to take off his boxers, making you giggle in response.
Once they’re off, his movements are more smooth as he steps on to the bed. His eyes are dark, swimming in a pool of desire, never straying away from your face as he crawls towards you. His hands rest on each side of your head, hips pressing against your own as his eyes fall to your lips.
You’re breathing heavily underneath him, chest brushing against him with every breath and you arch your back to press closer against him.
“Do you have a condom…?” you say before biting softly at his earlobe, your hand wrapping sloppily around his thick length.
He bucks into your palm desperately before he nods. He reaches his hand on his nightstand, never leaving the warmth of your body, and grabs the foil package. You take it from him and rip it open with your teeth, too fucked out to wait and Jimin gapes at you as you pretend not to notice the twitch on his dick.
You roll it on him as he lets out a long breath and his grip on your hips tightens.
“Are you sure about this…?” he asks cautiously, giving you one last chance to step back.
You grab at his neck to push him downwards into a kiss. Your lips are rough against him and he presses further, letting his tongue dive into your mouth to find your own. Your kiss is sloppy, urgent, not caring for tenderness. Getting you even more aroused as Jimin instinctively rolls his hips against yours.
“Okay, got it,” is his answer to your kiss. His hand grasps at his cock and giving it a few pumps before sheathing inside you with one sharp thrust.}}
You let two of your fingers dive inside you at the memory, drawing a long moan, quiet enough to be heard only in the confinements of your own room.
{{Both of you moan loudly at the intrusion, feeling complete and utter fullness with the way Jimin is pulsating inside you. It takes a while to get used to him, breathing slowly to help yourself relax as Jimin presses soft kisses to the skin above your breasts.
Soon though his kisses turn hungrier, messier, bordering into bites and you can’t help but moan and clench at the sensation.
Jimin hisses and reacts with another sharp thrust, making your eyes roll to the back of your skull in pleasure.
He starts a brutal pace, slow but rough deliberate thrusts, moving you further into the bed.
He pushes your legs on your chest in a new position, as he leans on top of you and drives his cock even deeper into you. He hits your g-spot almost repeatedly, having you crying out and your eyes well up by how good it feels.
“Fuck, Jimin, fuck, don’t stop…” you cry breathlessly even though Jimin doesn’t seem like stopping anytime soon.}}
In real-time, you pick up the pace of your fingers, driving them deeper to press against your g-spot, as you keep panting upon your sheets.
{{“Fuck. You. Feel. So. Good.” he punctuates each word with a thrust, as they come out in loud, rough growls, eyebrows scrunched in concentration as precipitation gathers at his temples, wet hair hanging in front of his eyes.
You cry out in ecstasy with every rough snap of his hips, shifting your hips to feel more of him, desperate for as much as he can give.
Then Jimin stands upright, grabbing your legs to push them into his chest and away from your own, wrapping around them and using them as leverage. His movements don't stop and he grunts lowly with each thrust, making you see stars each time he hits your g-spot.
He pants above you, driving his hips deeper into you, his muscles taut as he flexes his thighs and his thrusts become even rougher.
“Shit, Jimin…” you plead yet you don’t know what for as his motions make your body move up and down against the mattress.
“What is it, baby? Tell me,” he hisses, eyes furrowed as he stares at your lips. “I’ll give it to you…” he grunts, his thrusts now matching his pants, hands getting tighter at the supple flesh of your hips.
“Jimin, please…” you whine, driving your hand to tap on your clit to clue him in.
He curses again, bating your hand away for one of his own to land against your nub and begin rubbing circles into it.}}
You remove your other hand from your chest to press at your clit as you drive two fingers harshly into your soaked pussy with the other. You feel your high approaching and you don’t dare stop.
{{You scream in pleasure at the added friction, legs moving as Jimin releases them to wrap around his waist. You drive your heels against his ass to press his cock further into you.
“How are you so fucking wet for me, huh? Did my thighs turn you on this much, baby?” he asks harshly as his fingers pick up their pace, sending you into a wholly new sensation.
You moan out loud at his words, nodding your head quickly as if you’ve gone mad. “Yes, fuck, Jimin. I love your thighs, love how thick they are. Wanna rub my cunt all over them, want my clit to go numb with how hard I rub it on them. Want my folds to leak on top of them and stain your jeans. Fuck!” you yelp when your words have Jimin giving a particularly rough thrust.
“Fuck, yeah baby that’s right. Those thighs are gonna make you cum so fucking hard, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” he hisses from above you, spreading your legs, the stretch burning delightful as another groan falls from your hips.
Finally, you feel yourself getting closer and closer to cumming, high-pitched moans echoing inside the room and your cunt begins clenching uncontrollably.
Jimin realises this as his hips move even harder against yours and his fingers are relentless on your clit. “Are you gonna cum baby? Are you gonna cum like the dirty little slut you are?”
His words send you over the edge with a loud cry of his name.}}
You repeat the words over and over in your head until you’re a sobbing mess and come harder than you ever did before pressing your palm on your mouth to prevent any noise from getting out.
You lay on your bed spent and breathless, the memory ebbing away once you’re satisfied and your limbs are relaxed in a blissful numbness.
But, that soon also ebbs away, giving its spot to shame.
You just rubbed one off to Jimin.
And yeah okay you did sleep with him once, but you hadn’t used the memories to pleasure yourself before.
Oh god, this is getting out of hand.
You gotta end this crush of yours before it devours you.
#95line.net#btsguild#bangtan bookclub#kwritersworldnet#jimin scenario#bts scenario#bts jimin scenario#jimin fanfic#bts fanfic#jimin bts fanfic#jimin#bts#bts jimin#jimin smut#jimin fluff#jimin angst#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst
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Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review
“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “
Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock
This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.
Rest In Power
Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe.
See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers.
As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point.
While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.
This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome.
As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast.
First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list.
His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title
Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend.
Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome.
Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows.
Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again.
Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up.
Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4.
So with our major players out of the way, let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?
Shock to the System:
This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.
Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit.
But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off. Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain.
The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil���s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.
The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him
Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself this is the design he had in the comics
It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...
But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have. This show is just great at costume design.
So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback.
We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious.
This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.
Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.
Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time.
So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up. F-STOP
That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B
So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly.
On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.
At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in.
Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do.
As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?
I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense.
Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room.
So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...
Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda.
Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian.
And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”
So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?
Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go.
Aftershock:
We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it.
At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior.
Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up
Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances.
Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included.
Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.
That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.
It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag.
Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you.
Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses
Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.
Virgil: Gotta.
Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department
Virgil: Can’t.
It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.
So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight.
However at home Virgil points out it was Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends
Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog
If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow.
#static shock#static#virgil hawkins#richie foley#robert hawkins#sharon hawkins#hotstreak#milestone comics#dc comics#dc animated universe#dcau#dwayne mcduffie#robert l washington IIII#kids wb#hbo max#2000s#animation#black lives matter#black history month
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Safety Found in Red Sleeves
Chapter 9
I know it's been nearly four months (just five days shy of four months) and I apologize for that.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
Thana watched as all of the patrons of the Iceberg Lounge turned to look as they entered. She knew they weren’t the usual crowd, seeing as how Adrien had on a fanny pack, but since they all had red, or some shade of pink, sleeves Uncle Ozzy would let them in.
“I’m sorry. Do I-” Oswald Cobblepott was, fundamentally, a good man. He would never turn away a child in need and he remembered the children he gave shelter to, so imagine his surprise when the person standing in his place of business was none other than the girl who’d managed to burrow under his skin and earn a special nickname. “Chick? Is that- are you- you’re really here?”
Thana let out a laugh and rushed at the man, throwing her arms around his neck before letting out a louder laugh. “I’m taller than you Uncle Ozzy!”
Oswald laughed before his gaze drifted back to the rest of the teens gathered just inside his place of business. “Chick, as much as I love seeing you, who’re they?”
“Oh!” Thana pulled away from Oswald before turning to her friends. “Well, the tall boy with black hair and frosted tips is Kim, the blonde girl is Chloé, the guy with short brown hair is Nino, the other blond is Adrien, and the short sporty girl is Alix. They’re friends I made in Paris, with my mother’s cousin.”
Oswald smiled and waved. “I see my niece has given you a heads up on the dress code around here.”
Kim nodded, a smile on his face. “Mèo con’s always reminding us that we have to wear red when we’re in Gotham, says she’ll ditch us if we don’t.”
Nino snorted before his eyes drifted over to the turntables. “Do you mind if I?”
Oswald smiled and nodded. “Go ahead, you can’t be any worse than my usual guy.”
Nino drifted over to the turntables and began playing some music.
Chloé strode over to the duo, a smile on her face. “It’s so nice to finally meet Fragolina’s Uncle Ozzy.”
“You must be the one my Chick won’t stop saying reminds her of the second Robin.” There was a twinkle in his eye as he pulled Thana close.
Adrien and Alix followed Kim over to the trio, where Kim draped an arm around Chloé’s shoulders. “That’s a possibility.”
---
Thana and her friends, accompanied by Thana’s Uncles Ed and Jon, toured Gotham. Thana made sure to show her friends around, showing them shortcuts to use to get around if they ever get separated from Madame Bustier. Eventually, the group came to an overgrown looking park.
“Uncle Ed, Uncle Jon. I’m going to show them around, and if we run into her introduce them. If we don’t, could one of you text her to let her know where they’re staying so we can do the introductions there?”
“Of course Mini Todd.” Her Uncle Jon nodded and wrapped an arm around Ed, who smiled softly at the act before nodding as well.
“And we’ll keep an eye out for You-Know-Who. He seems to think that you will come crawling back any day now.” Her Uncle Ed rolled his eyes.
“Thank you both so much.” Thana pressed kisses to their cheeks and smiled. “If we ever come across him, I’ll send an SOS to the group chat and then beat his ass.”
Jon and Ed pressed kisses to her cheeks and smiled. “Be safe.”
“With Aunt Pam? Always.” Thana turned towards the park and took a breath, smelling the local flowers and feeling better than she had since she’d been removed from the streets.
---
Thana led her friends around the park, pointing out all of the Poison Ivy original plants and warning her friends to stay away from them since they hadn’t built up an immunity to the toxin within the plants, with a smile on her face. “Aunt Pam always has a new plant that she’s making, and she’s been sorta kinda courting my Aunt Harley since she first saw her, although Aunt Harley used to be with this abusive asshole. I do wonder what happened to Aunt Harley’s daughter, I know she said she was with her sister but still.”
“Who?” Adrien asked, his hand hovering dangerously over a hybrid Venus Flytrap and Trumpet Pitcher plant, as he looked back at the group.
Adrien’s hand was saved by a wall of Boston ivy that shot up out of the ground. A loud scoff could be heard just beyond the plants before a beautiful head of red hair appeared through the leaves. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to touch wild plants?”
Thana smiled and allowed Kim to pull her into his side. “Are all of your relatives ridiculously attractive people?”
“You’ve met my Ma’s cousin,” Thana shrugged and settled more firmly against his side, “and Jervis Tetch is a rotten man, he’s rotten to the core.” Thana’s head rested against Kim’s chest, her ear close to his heart, as she forced thoughts about her birth father out of her head. “My Uncles and Aunts have this friend, Harvey Dent, who’s a little disfigured. He was in this really bad accident a while back and his face is a little hard to look at. He’s kind of nice, never really been mean to me specifically. I think he’s kinda cool though, he’s got a whole schtick about truth and luck.”
Kim nodded, his eyes flitting over the rest of their friends. Kim had never really had a big friend group, not until Thana joined their class, and then suddenly Kim was always around other people, had a shadow who was nearly as protective of him as his Mẹ was, and suddenly his fledgling crush was one of his best friends. Kim would probably always be thankful that Thana showed up when she did. Without Thana, Kim probably would have always been just a dumb jock who fell for some perfect princess. Kim knew his Mè was as thankful as he was that Thana had shown up in their lives, that Thana had stayed after she learned about the skeletons in their closets.
Kim looked at Thana, and he could see how much lighter she was here in what was the darkest city Kim had ever stepped foot in compared to back home. He could only hope that no matter where she went after Lycee, she would keep in contact with him and his Mè.
---
Thana and her friends left Robinson Park just before dinner that evening, her Uncles Jon and Ed escorting them back to the hotel when Thana’s friends went in for the night. Thana, however, followed her friends in and ate a meal with the class before ducking out of the hotel to go spend the night on the streets.
Thana refused to spend any more time in that building than absolutely necessary. She could still feel the cold lead encased in steel as it pierced her abdomen.
Thana hunkered down in an old spot, one she knew like the back of her hand, and could only hope that she would be safe here. She could only hope that she wouldn’t catch a cold while she slept on the streets.
Thana’s friends, however, slept fitfully that night in their comfortable beds in the hotel. Their thoughts filled with worry about Thana on the streets.
-*-*-*
Jason puttered around the kitchen, his feet encased in his slippers, and let out a yawn. He looked at the counter and noticed the already full coffee pot. He glanced around the room and frowned when he didn’t see anything before the sound of the TV reached him a moment later. “Duke?”
Duke’s head popped up over the back of the couch and he gave Jason a sheepish smile. “Yeah?”
Jason let out a breath and his whole body sagged for a moment. “Just had to make sure. Little twitchy after our late night visitor last night.”
“Who stopped by last night?” Duke stood up off of the floor and walked into the kitchen, sitting down on one of the counters like Tim, Steph and Cass had started doing.
Jason set his coffee mug (which read “World’s Greatest Dad” in a similar red to his helmet) down on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “The Bat.” Jason turned to the fridge to pull out the coffee creamer, but frowned when the only creamer left was the Southern Butter Pecan Pie flavour. He simply reached past and grabbed the milk to add to his coffee instead of creamer. “He wanted to know why I’d ‘taken you as well’. Because he sees you all as things to be taken and not children to be taken care of.”
---
Jason pressed a kiss to Steph and Cass’ foreheads before hitching Damian further up on his hip. “I’ll be back later. I just need to take Damian to finish introducing him to his aunt’s aunts and uncles. Unless of course, you two wish to join us.”
Steph looked at Cass and shrugged. “Timmy’s got work. I think Bart is out running around.”
Cass nodded before mussing up her hair and frowning at her sister in question.
“Kon might be in Kansas, I think he mentioned going to visit Clark’s parents. Cassie is hanging out with Donna, getting advice most likely. Cissie is spending the day with Oliver.” Steph slung an arm around Cass’ shoulders and smiled. “Give us a few minutes to get dressed and then we’ll join you.”
Jason nodded, a small smile on his face. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”
Steph and Cass disappeared into the room they had officially claimed, coming out a few minutes later in coordinated outfits.
Steph walked out wearing a dark purple crop top with black shorts and a black sweater tied around her waist. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and a pair of black sunglasses, easily recognized as Kon’s, sat atop her head.
Cass, who walked out just a step behind Steph, wore a black t-shirt under a black and yellow flannel paired with black high-waisted jeans. Her hair was freely flowing around her shoulders while her wrists sported scrunchies she’d pilfered from Cassie and Cissie.
Jason shook his head at his sisters, Cass who was just a scant six months older than he was but acted so much younger and Steph who was just a few months older than Tim, and smiled. “Any particular reason for the attire today?”
“Just felt like coordinating.” Steph smiled at Jason and slung an arm around Cass. “Well, what are we waiting for?”
---
Jason led the way into the Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane, his sisters just behind him and Damian clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping him attached to the planet.
“So, not to question your sanity or anything but, why are we here?” Stephanie’s voice was filled with trepidation and Cass’ arm was wrapped around Steph’s in an act of comfort for both girls.
“One of Thana’s uncles is here right now. He’ll be out soon. Do not compare him to the guy who killed me.” Jason smiled at the guards on duty and continued into the building.
The person at the front desk, a young individual of indeterminate gender with short brown hair and brown eyes, looked up from the clipboard in front of them and deadpanned. “Name of the patient you’re here to see?”
“Jerome Valeska. He should be expecting me, Jason Todd.” Jason smiled and shifted slightly so Damian’s face was more comfortably buried in his neck. “My son and sisters will also be joining us today.”
The receptionist nodded and jotted down the details relayed to them. “Identification?”
Jason handed over his identification card while Steph and Cass pulled out their driver’s licenses. “My son is only nine and only has a passport, will that work?”
The receptionist nodded and smiled. “A passport will work.”
Jason pulled Damian’s passport out of his pocket and handed it over. “We’ll come back to collect those when we’re finished visiting.”
“Have a good visit.”
“Thank you.” Jason smiled and led the way back into the rehabilitation center, his sisters sticking close to his back with their free hands clinging to the back of his shirt just over where Damian’s leg rested, passing the cells filled with the more humane residents of the asylum. Jason paid them no mind, having grown used to their hooting and hollering as he passed on his previous visits.
The little four person group of the family finally reached the rehabilitation center and were let in by one of the orderlies, a bulkier individual dressed in teal scrubs. They all gave the orderly a smile and a nod as they passed into the room.
Jerome was sitting at a table with blank sheets of paper mixed in with sheets of paper filled with writing, and as soon as Jason could read what was on the paper he could see that the pages were filled with apologies and plans to become a better person if for no one other than his favourite niece and her wellbeing. Jerome looked up when Jason started to cast a shadow across his paper. “Hey buddy. You’re standing in my- Jason! What a surprise!”
Jason’s face grew soft, a smile on his face and pulled out the chair next to Jerome to sit down in. Damian was settled into Jason’s lap while Steph and Cass sat down in the chairs next to Jason’s. “How are you today Jerome?”
“I’ve been better.” Jerome had been better, before his parents and his uncle died, before his twin fell apart and brought him down with him. Jerome had been happy in the circus, performing with his family for crowds of people who adored their act, and then everything changed.
“Jerome, I’d like you to meet my son. Damian al Ghul-Todd, nephew of your niece Thana Todd, as well as my sisters, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown.”
“Oh come on Jace. Why’d you have to use last names?” Steph pouted and punched Jason’s upper arm.
“Because now that Uncle Jerome knows of your parentage he’ll be less likely to toss anything you say aside.” Jason smiled as Jerome spoke about himself in the third person.
“What he said.” Jason let out a chuckle. Damian frowned at the lack of attention he was receiving and simply headbutted Jason in the chin. “Yes, yes, we know you’re here Kutlat Saghira. I’m sorry that we’re not paying attention to you.”
Damian pouted and puffed out his cheeks. “Baba, not here.”
Jason smiled at his son, knowing that he was safe in his arms. “I love you my Little Nugget.”
“Baba!” Damian frowned and looked towards the table, effectively ignoring the four other people at the table.
Steph and Cass watched the moment between father and son, sharing only a look before looking back at the duo.
Jerome watched as his niece’s brother smiled at his child, glad that he got to see it but all he really wanted was to see Thana.
“She’s in the city.” Jason’s voice was quiet, barely heard over the lull of the rest of the patients in the center. “She’s in the city and she, she got so big Jerome. She has a really good group of friends. You’d be proud of her.”
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danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.
-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...
-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question
-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)
-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.
-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*
-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.
-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!
-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...
-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.
-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?
-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.
-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.
-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.
-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?
-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.
-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)
-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao
-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.
-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...
-is he....
-you know....
.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)
-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!
-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!
-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.
-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)
-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.
-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...
-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.
-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...
-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.
-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)
-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/
-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize
-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.
-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)
-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...
-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)
-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!
-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.
-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!
-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(
-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!
-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)
-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.
-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!
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Monthly Reads | October 2020
Happy 28th!
I probably sound like a broken record already but I have to say it again: this fandom has an insane amount of talented writers! I am in awe! Every single one of you is my hero! ♥♥♥
Here are all the 23 fics I read and loved this month:
✧ Welcome to The Rivalry | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - enemies to lovers - rivalry - college - 19k
“Welcome home!” Niall yelled, clapping his hands in excitement. “Isn’t it great?”
Louis looked between Niall and the house, unsure how to respond.
“I don’t understand,” Louis finally managed to say. “Aren’t we a little old to be living so close to campus?”
Niall scoffed. “You’re only twenty-four for fuck’s sake. There is still plenty of partying left for us to do. What better place than one street over from where a car was set on fire after the Michigan game last year?”
“Is there proof of that? Did the car have Michigan plates or something? Is there a photo I can send in a DM to Wolfie?”
As if on cue, a Twitter notification popped up on Louis’ Apple watch. He had tweeted again.
Or a reverse You’ve Got Mail au inspired by the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry. Featuring duplex neighbors, (kind of) enemies to lovers, and an anonymous Twitter feud between omega Louis and alpha Harry.
✧ Back to Seventeen | crimsontheory | teacher - soccer coach - 26k
As a first grade teacher in a small town in Illinois, Harry’s life is pretty simple. He loves his job, is close with his family, and has a best friend he would go to the ends of the earth for. When a new soccer coach starts at the local high school, things start to get a bit more exciting for Harry. Because that coach just happens to be Louis Tomlinson; the guy Harry was unrequitedly in love with in high school.
Or the one where Louis moves back to his hometown and Harry realizes he’s still not over his high school crush.
✧ Sigh for Sigh | logogram | historical - a/b/o - regency - miscommunication - pining - marriage of convenience - 11k
When his father's sudden illness forces Harry to get married in a hurry, he's delighted that Lord Louis Tomlinson is the one who makes him an offer. Being married to Louis is just as wonderful as he imagined, except for one thing-- they haven't mated yet.
Or the one where they're both idiots, Harry's afraid to say what he's thinking, and Louis's just trying to be honorable.
✧ We Can Find a Place to Feel Good | yeah_alright | 1960s - High School - school dances - 8k
14-year-old Harry is ecstatic to finally be old enough to experience the time-honored tradition of school dances. But with each year that passes and each dance he attends, he’s realizing they’re not all he used to hope they’d be. Especially when he can't actually dance with the person he most wants to.
Maybe he and Louis can figure out their own ways to keep dancing, anyway.
✧ At Risk, I Fold | clare328 | canon compliant - established relationship - angst - emotional hurt/comfort - miscommunication - anxiety - implied/referenced alcohol abuse - 15k
2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.
✧ Carry These Feelings | LadyLondonderry | fae Á faires - established relationship - magic - 3k
Harry is one of the fae, and has to return to Court once a year to please the Queen.
He makes a detour on his way home to Louis.
Two weeks and I'll be home.
✧ Hung Up High in the Gallery | lovelarry10 | friends to lovers - slow burn - pining - 14k
"Louis, lay still!”
Louis sighed loudly, and Harry watched his chest puff out as he inhaled deeply, the breath he let out loudly making Harry’s curls shift. “I am, stop being so fussy. Can I see yet?”
“Nope,” Harry remarked, smiling to himself. “I’m doing your chest next. Shit, this is going to look so good, Lou. Your tan and these colours… why haven’t we done this before?”
“Because we haven’t been this drunk in a while, and it never occurred to me until tonight?”
❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁
When Harry’s best friend, Louis, comes to support him at his art show, he decides they need to do some celebrating afterwards. How fast do the lines between friends and lovers get blurred ... or better, get painted?
✧ Love you in the dark | Perzikje | historical - wedding night - arranged marriage - dubious consent - 10k
The story of a historical wedding night: in which Louis is quite unaware as to just how clueless his brand new husband is about sex. They try their best to figure it out together.
✧ Victorian Boy | audreyhheart | historical - victorian - royalty - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - angst - murder mystery - 101k
Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.
✧ the anticipation of knowing you | sweetrevenge | strangers to lovers - neighbors - light angst - 13k
Hello Neighbor!
Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt.
P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something.
Sorry!
Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306
After Louis overhears his next door neighbor having sex, he doesn’t really expect anything but awkward hallway encounters to come from it. Instead, he’s surprised to find himself in a whirlwind pen pal relationship with the sweet, albeit loud, baker next door.
✧ We'll Be All Right | dandelionfairies | married couple - accridents - 13k
Harry is performing his one night only show in LA but there are four very important people missing.
✧ The Last Song of Your Life | reminiscingintherain | famous/not famous - Rays of Sunhsine - homophobia - 21k
As Harry glanced around at all of the faces, he froze as a very familiar pair of blue eyes leapt out at him. A pair of eyes that he hadn’t seen since before the One Direction bomb exploded. A pair of eyes that he never expected to see again.
~~~~
or the famous/not famous AU, with first love, miscommunication, interfering bandmates, and adorable little sisters.
✧ Her | jaerie | a/b/o - trans character - transitioning - dysphoria - anxiety - quarantine - 7k
The buttery swipe of a high quality lipstick was almost a sexual experience in and of itself. This time a deep colour with purple undertones which drew out the emphasis of long, dark lashes and perfectly contoured cheekbones. It was a look for loose and styled curls, feeling the classy formal nightclub vibes reflected back from the mirror. The silky plum coloured slip dress would be perfect to debut. The tags still needed to be cut free from the new garment that hung in the closet, but tonight was the night to set it free.
When Harry gets home, she can finally be who she wants to be. Letting someone else in always feels like a distant daydream to her... until it suddently isn't.
✧ Loving You's the Antidote | lululawrence | Stylinshaw - a/b/o - touch deprivation - hospitalization - soulmates - polyamory - anxiety - friends to lovers - no smut - 11k
Nick and Harry had never been an obvious match. When eighteen-year-old Harry, newly presented as an omega, came home freshly bonded to Nick, a man nine years his elder and a beta no less, Anne had been more than skeptical and Eileen had shared some harsh words of her own. That didn’t deter them, though, and their families soon realised there really was something special about the bondmates that allowed them to work together almost seamlessly.
It was only a few months later that Harry started getting sick.
Or the one where Harry and Nick have been able to keep Harry's disorder at bay over the course of their relationship, but when they move to London and away from their support system, they find themselves in desperate need of help.
✧ Like A Neon Sign | reminiscingintherain | canon compliant - mentions of death - fluff - 8k
Harry had always been perfect to Louis, through every age, through every stage, and in all the important ways, he was proud to have been able to witness the growth that Harry had experienced first-hand.
✧ We Had Everything | lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes) | exes to lovers - getting back together - famous/not famous - 3k
“You know Harry’s coming, yeah?”
Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he missed the name on the invite list, how he skipped over the initials on the small gifts, didn’t notice the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card.
Or, Louis and Harry fell apart, and Louis' never forgiven himself. He gets a second chance at Zayn and Liam's wedding.
✧ True To Your Heart | reminiscingintherain | Mulan AU - a/b/o - 13k
The world was at war with itself.
In the small country of Enilenif, in a tiny, often overlooked corner of the world, young Alphas were quickly signing up to fight, desperate to protect their Omegas and their country as Aidem began to attack their borders. A few defiant Omegas tried to enlist as well, but were firmly turned away with disapproving looks by the staff in the office.
Harry Styles was one such Omega, sighing heavily as he kicked at a small stone on his walk home.
✧ What the Water Gave Me | larryatendoftheday | fantasy - mermaids - long distance relationship - 29k
When a mermaid crawls out of the sea to listen to Harry sing, it changes everything.
✧ it’s hard for me to go home | localopa | angst - breakup - getting back together - 5k
don’t call me baby again
✧ The Prince and the Thief | jaerie | Fairy Tale - a/b/o - strangers to lovers - violence - kidnapping - threats of rape/non-con - 19k
Harry is an omega prince locked in a tower and Louis is the thief sent to kidnap him. Nothing turns out as planned.
✧ Up On The Shore | wordsnnotes | Eroda AU - magic - epistolary - friends to lovers - childhood friends - emotional/psychological abuse - angst - long-distance relationship - domestic violence - 34k
Magic has been outlawed on Eroda ever since President Cowell came into power, and all the magic people had to go live on the island of Stonell. Things are not looking good for Harry when he finds out he's a magician and his abilities seem more and more out of control. Thankfully, his best friend Niall's mother has the idea to put him in touch with Louis, a magician boy living on Stonell. They begin a secret correspondence and drama ensues.
Or: Louis hides his feelings under sarcasm, Harry is too sweet for his own sake, everyone is a rebel, the mums are amazing, Harry's dad is a jerk, and I'm struggling to make it understandable without using normal narration.
✧ this town's just an ocean now | louistomlinsons | exes to lovers - friends to lovers - summer romance - miscommunication - childhood friends - light angst - fluff - 31k
“I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.”
Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis.
Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.”
Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.”
inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb
✧ I Am the Blinking Light | dearmrsawyer | ghosts - shipwreck - 19k
There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.
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“In a black dress, she's such an actress” - Harry Styles × Model Reader AU
Summary - Harry meets a model downtown and falls for her quickly, leading the public to think that it’s a pr stunt. Unsure of what to think, the reader plays along, not knowing that Harry is unaware of the rumours.
For @cruizmanadu! Xx
A/N - Okay, this is my first official request type thing so please tell me if it’s good or not! Ignore any mistakes, thought I think I looked over it pretty well. Also, if you’d like a part 2 / have suggestions / ect, just send a DM or ask! Here you go babes, hope you like it x
“If I don’t get coffee right now, I’m going to pass out on this sidewalk, I swear,” moaned Ella.
“We’re almost there, calm down,” you responded as you adjusted the shopping bags in your hands quickly. You and your best friend Ella had decided to go out in NYC for the day, which of course meant loads of shopping. Hell, half of the bags you were carrying weren’t even yours - Ella had a shoot the next day, and insisted that she couldn’t carry her bags out of fear that she’d mark up her hands. So you were carrying enough bags to “Mark up your hands”, according to Ella. Which, to be fair, was quite unfair, because that girl shops a lot.
“Hey, can you take some of these, just until we get there? I’m getting kinda-”
“Oh. My. Gosh.” She lowered her voice and leaned in towards you. “Don’t look yet, keep walking, but some guy is totally checking you out.”
You sighed. “How could the paps have found us? I thought we covered our tracks nicel-”
She cut you off once again. “No, no, not a pap. This guy, he’s, well - okay, look to your left riiiight... now.”
You quickly glanced over to see a guy in his 20′s wearing a multicoloured knit sweater with messy brown hair, looking in your general direction. He quickly looked away when he saw you. You looked away, which was unfortunate, because you would’ve seen him gathering up the courage to walk over to you two.
"He's pretty fit," you whispered back quickly. "Do you think he recognizes me?" It sounds very stuck up, but often times people tried to hit on you solely because you model for the big brands, so you had to be careful. Being in the industry had a lot of pros, but a lot of cons as well. Not knowing who your real friends are were one of the cons.
"I'm not sure," Ella replied.
Just then, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and saw that you were face to face with the boy.
"Hello," he started nervously. He had a charming British accent, you noticed right away.
"Hi!" You replied, waiting for him to say something totally obnoxious or fan-like.
"This probably sounds weird, but I couldn't help but notice you."
"Oh, why thank you!" You laughed. "He doesn't seem too creepy or weird or stalker-ish," you thought to yourself.
"Yeah, so, um... This is weird as well, I'm sorry, but could I get your number?" He smiled weakly.
"No, absolutely not," said Ella, grabbing you by the arm and starting to drag you away. "C'mon."
She only walked a few feet until you broke away and went back over to him. "I'm sorry about that - of course you can."
His nervous expression eased away the tiniest bit. "Oh, that's great."
He handed you his phone, and you typed in you number."
***-****-****
"I'm Harry, by the way. Harry Styles."
"Oh! I'm y/n."
"Why does that sound familiar?"
"I work in the modeling industry. You might have heard of me from that?"
"I should've known you were a model - you've definitely got the looks. And I'm sure the personality as well."
You grinned.
"I'm a singer," he continued. "I used to be in a band - now I'm solo. So that's one thing we have in common, I guess. Well, not really. You know what I mean."
"You're right!" You laughed. "He's pretty easy to talk to," you thought. Even though you didn't want to, you could feel Ella staring at the back of your neck impatiently, so you decided to wrap up the conversation. "Well, I've got to go, but you'll message me later, yeah?"
"Of course," he nodded. "Well, goodbye for now, y/n."
"Goodbye, Harry Styles."
"What was that?!" Ella asked once he was out of earshot.
"What? He's polite and cute. Of course I have him my number!"
"He could be a creepy obsessive fan! Or a perv! Or a crackhead! He's just some random guy on the streets, for all we know!"
"Would you calm down? He's so nice - I just know he wouldn't do that. Plus, that sweater is awfully expensive. Almost 2k."
Ella rolled her eyes. "Okay, sure."
"Oh, and he's a singer."
Ella snapped her head to look at you, clearly very shocked by this statement. "He's what?"
"A singer, apparently."
"What's his name?"
"Harry Styles."
"Oh. My. God. My friend had a shoot with him once! He's popular, y/n. Really popular."
"God, you sound like a middle-schooler."
"I'm just sayin'! But now that I know this information, I've changed my opinion on him. GO FOR IT."
"I was already planning on it," you laugh, walking past a group of starstruck thirteen year olds quickly. "Although I'm not so sure. I didn't get his number - it's up to him to message me."
"He'd better," Ella replied as the two of you walked into a local café. You nodded in agreement, and you both walked up the the register to order.
The rest of the day was a blur - you went to a few more stores, and then eventually hailed a cab and went back to your apartment. You were so exhausted that you kicked off your shoes and flopped into your couch, too tired to even eat. As you lie there, you felt your phone vibrate in you pocket. Reluctantly, you pulled it out slowly, and clicked it on.
***-****-**** - Hello.
Your first though was, "It's Harry!" Your second thought was, "That's a very ominous introduction." Nonetheless, you typed up a response.
Y/n <3 - Who's this?
***-****-**** - Harry, from earlier hahah x
You let out a sigh of relief - he had messaged you back, and it hadn't been some rando. Things were working out nicely.
Y/n <3 - Well, hello!
While you were waiting for a response, you set his contact name up. You hadn't gotten a photo of him yet, so you decided one from Google would do. You typed up "Harry Styles", and the search results shocked you. Ella was right - he was popular. And cute (But you already knew that.) You got a notification from him, so you screenshotted the first photo to come up (Him in a very nice pink top), set it as his photo, and then went back onto messages.
Harry Styles - Hi! I'm sorry if the whole encounter earlier was creepy. Your friend seemed quite worked up over it.
Y/n <3 - She's had bad experiences like this in the past.
Harry Styles - I've had quite a few myself, honestly. Don't blame her. Anyways, how are you?
Y/n <3 - Exhausted. All that walking must've worn me out, hahaha
Harry Styles - Hahah, that's New York for ya.
Harry Styles - Would you happen to be free tomorrow?
Harry Styles - I'd love to get to know you.
You grinned at your phone screen. This could not be happening.
Y/n <3 - Nope! Free all day. I'd love to get to know you too!
Harry Styles - Does 1pm at the Beachwood Café work? :)
He sent a location along with it. It was the same café you and Ella had gone to earlier.
Y/n <3 - Sure!
Harry Styles - Alright, talk then?
Y/n <3 - Yes!
Harry Styles - Goodnight.
Y/n <3 - Goodnight!
Seen - 11:34pm.
The next day you woke up at 10 so you would have time to get ready. You got a quick shower, did you hair, makeup... By 12:30 you were dressed and ready to go. Casual, but not too casual was what you were going for. You were pretty sure you had the look down pat. You grabbed your stuff and made your way downtown, sunglasses on.
You arrived early, 12:48pm, but luckily Harry was already there, waiting at a table near the back with two menus. He waved once he saw you, and jumped up to pull out your chair.
"Hello," you smiled.
"Hi!"
"I adore your outfit," you said as you sat down. He was now wearing a white and blue striped shirt and tan jeans. Somehow he made it work.
"I love yours as well! The skirt brings out your eyes."
You tried hard not to blush. "Thank you!"
"So, I guess we should start getting to know eachother, then?" He grinned.
You nodded. "20 questions?"
"Sure. Full name?"
"Y/n."
"Harry Edward Styles."
"I like that middle name. Very sophisticated." He laughed at this. "Age?"
"26."
"23."
"Favourite movie?"
"Clueless."
"Back To The Future."
You continued asking questions until the waiter came over to your table.
"I'll have the chicken sub," he said politely.
"I'll have a medium lemonade."
"Is that it?" Harry asked.
You sighed. "And a blueberry muffin, I guess."
The waiter wrote it down and walked off.
"I'm on a diet," you explained.
"Still," Harry shrugged. "So, tell me about yourself."
"Well, I started modeling at about age 8, for this clothing bran-"
"No no no, I meant about you."
You gave him a confused look.
"Not about your job, you!"
"Okay, well, let's see... Uh..."
"I'm 26, but you already knew that. I live in New York, obviously. I used to work in a bakery, even though I just told you not to talk about your job. I like playing football, I write, and I enjoy baking bread. See? Easy."
You laughed. Why did he have to be so... Charming?
"I'm 23, but you already knew that. I've lived in New York my whole life. I read a lot, and I mean a lot. I have a ton of plants in my apartment, since I can't really have a garden here. I like Taylor Swift's music."
Harry nodded. "See? That wasn't so bad."
You laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
Just then the waiter placed the food on the table, and you took a sip of your lemonade while Harry dug into his sub.
"I dated Taylor for a pr stunt once."
"Really?"
"Yeah. She got a few songs, I got a new story to tell during interviews."
"Oh. Did you like her?"
"Nah."
You laughed again. "Oh, my."
"Yeah. I haven't had many actual relationships. 3."
"I haven't had any."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Not many guys are interested. Or, well, interested in me, you know?"
"I find that hard to believe."
You tried not to blush once again as you took a sip of your lemonade.
"Well, it's true."
"Personally, I think you're great."
"You are too!"
The two of you continue eating. After two minutes, Harry speaks up.
"Want to go back to my apartment and watch a movie? In a non weird way, of course."
"Okay, that sounds good. Which movie?"
"Clueless?" He winked.
You grinned. "Of course."
You get up and walk out into the streets of New York, leaving your blueberry muffin on the table.
The walk to Harry's is very short. You two talk the whole way there, mainly small talk, but it isn’t awkward at all. You feel like you can be yourself around him - whatever that means. To put it into words, you feel comfortable around him. Which is weird, because you just met him a day ago, but it feels right for some reason.
Eventually you arrived at the door to his apartment. While he was busy digging his key out of his pocket, you took a glance up and down the hallway. This place was much fancier than you had expected. It made your apartment complex look cheap. Everything seemed so... posh. Harry pushed open the door, and you stepped inside. His apartment was decorated with art; albums of artists you’ve never even heard of were hung on the walls, and potted plants were everywhere. It was messy, but in an organized way.
“I just need to run to the washroom, make yourself at home,” he said as he kicked off his shoes.
“Alright,” you replied. You put your coat on a coat rack (Obviously) and walked over to the couch. Unsure of what to do, you decided to check twitter. After a few seconds of contemplating if checking your phone right now was rude or not, you decided to turn on your data and do it, since he was in the bathroom and you were bored. You looked over you shoulder, then hit the trending page. Politics, Ariana Grande - she must be releasing a new album - #TGIF, and... Harry Styles? Without thinking twice, you click on it. Immediately, photos of you and him pop up from when you were walking back to his place. That was only a few minutes ago... how did these photos get out so soon?
“You ready?” Harry asked as he entered the room, holding up a DVD case with an excited look on his face.
“Yep,” you said, putting down your phone. A second later, you picked it back up. “Did you see twitter?”
“No, I don’t go on social media much,” he replied as he popped the disc into his bluray player.
“You’re trending.”
“Cool.”
“No, I mean... we got papped on the way back here. Look.” You turned the phone so he could see it.
He took a glance at the screen, then grabbed a remote and flopped onto the couch next to you. “It doesn’t really bother me. Happens far too often. I mean, unless you have a problem with it. I can get them taken down, if you’d like.” Suddenly, his usual relaxed self has replaced with a worried one.
You shook your head. “No, no, I... just letting you know. I don’t care. Besides, I didn’t see many people talking about it, just sharing the photos.”
“Oh, well, if you change your mind, just let me know,” he concluded as he turned on the TV.
You nodded, and then focused on Cher Horowitz on the screen. You didn’t watch much of the movie, because you and Harry kept on cracking jokes and telling stories, but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Eventually, it was time for you to leave, since it was nearly 5pm.
“Do you want me to walk you back? Or, I could call you a cab,” Harry asked as you slipped on your shoes.
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“No, no, I’ll walk you back,” he insisted as he grabbed his coat.
You weren’t about to argue with him, because, let’s face it, you secretly wanted him to walk you home. So you followed him out the door and to the elevator.
You talked the whole way there, but you were distracted just a tiny bit - you wanted to keep an eye out for paps. Eventually you decided that it was difficult and pointless, so you fully engaged yourself in Harry’s conversation on how to make a mean loaf of bread.
A few minutes later, you arrived at your place.
“Well, this is it,” you grinned sadly.
Harry nodded. “I’ll message you later?”
“Of course. We have to do this again, you know.”
Harry smiled wide. “Sure. I’d love that.”
“Well... goodbye, Harry.”
He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Goodbye, y/n.”
You stared back at him, starstruck, but he turned and started walking down the hall before you could say anything. “Love ya!” You called out quickly before you shut the door behind you, unsure if he even heard you. Oh, well. He’d message you later, anyways.
You were quite hungry by this point, so you decided to order Chinese food off of Postmates. Once that call was made, you sat down and opened Twitter again. You noticed that you had way more notifications than usual, but you decided that could wait until after you checked the trending topics once more. “Harry Styles” was still trending, but even more surprisingly, “Y/n” was right underneath it. You decided to hit Harry’s topic first - MORE pap photos came up, this time from when you were walking home. Wow.
“We do look like a proper couple.” You thought, though you quickly shook it. You’d just met - although you know what they say, “Love at first sight” and all that crap.But no.
You decided to scroll down even further, past all of the photos and to the actual tweets.
@Harryscherry77: Is @ yn Harry’s new girlfriend? If so, she’s soooooo lucky.
@Y/nsclouds: Why is y/n being papped with Harry Styles? She can do much better. His music isn’t even that good.
@Lightsuplouisx: I ship it, tbh {Insert photo here}
@TaylorxxxTea: Oh cute, another pr stunt :/ #HarryStyles IsOverParty
@GalacticY/N26: Ugh, Harry? Really? I’m seriously gonna unstan Y/n, I’ve been considering it but this is just the last straw for me.
@HarryIsUpAllNight: Did you guys know the girl Harry was papped with is a model? She’s absolutely gorgeous, I wouldn’t doubt it.
@Stylesfangirl49: Y/n is honestly so ugly. #RunHarryRun
@SummertimeNewsOfficial: Has Harry Styles been spotted with yet another woman, months after his breakup with Camille? {Insert Link Here}
@Larry2020xxx: Another beard LMAOOO c’mon. PR STUNTTTT.
@Lola33smith: They haven’t even been confirmed dating yet, calm downnnnn.
“Wow,” you thought as you continued scrolling. “This is not what I was expecting.”
It seemed like the whole internet had something to say about a few lousy pictures of you and H. There was good and bad, though it felt like the bad outweighed the good. An alarming amount of people seemed to think it was a pr stunt. Wow. Your notifications weren’t much better - loads of people had followed you, dm’ed you, called you worthless, called you amazing. It was a lot to handle. Just then the doorbell rang - your Postmates. How long had you been looking through all of that? It didn’t matter now. You went to get your food, then sat back down and began to text Harry. Suddenly, you stopped. If he got so worried about the first set of photos, not to mention you walking home by yourself, how would he react to this? He had said he doesn’t go on social media much, so you figured that as long as you didn’t tell him, it would all blow over quick enough and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. You didn’t want to stress him out. Instead, to take your mind off of this chaotic day you turned on The Office and tried to regain a sense of normalcy.
Although the more you thought about it, the less and less you wanted Harry to message you.
“PR stunt.”
EDIT: CHAPTER TWO IS NOW OUT! CLICK HERE
#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles#harry styles request#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#one direction#1d#one direction fanfiction#one direction fanfic#1d fanfiction#1d fanfic#louis tomlinson#niall horan#liam payne#zayn mailk#ot5#ot4#one direction fanart#larry#larry stylinson#fanfiction#harry styles smut#not really#mine#mine : fanfic
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her dad’s birthday
Bucky Barnes x Mexican!fem!reader
Warnings: mentions of death, a lil sad
A/n: this story is mostly for me but I hope u can enjoy it too
for the love of god pls reblog with ur thoughts
Bucky’s pov
Y/n.
I’ve been seeing her for a four months now. We’ve been on ten dates to dinner and eight movie dates. And I don’t plan on letting her go.
Today is her father’s birthday, and I know this because Y/n has mentioned it a hundred times now. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I forgot her dad’s birthday?
“What do you think I should wear?” I ask. she whips her head to me and she sizes me. “He won’t care, I promise, so don’t worry,” she says. I look down at my shirt and flatten it. Yes, I’m nervous. I’ve never met her father nor her mother, she doesn’t have much a connection with her mom but it’s different with her dad. She loves her dad, she talks about him a lot, she visits him often too. She buys him candy and balloons. It’s sweet really, she’s a great girl.
I really scored with Y/n. I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone better than her. She’s it for me.
“You look good, okay? Don’t be nervous, he won’t test you. Just be yourself,” she says, pulling my waist to her. She kisses my cheek and smiles. “I’ll try, I just don’t wanna mess up with him. I just- I really like you and I’d hate to ruin it,” I admit. Her face falls but her hand goes to my cheek, “there is no way you’d mess anything up. You’re a gift Bucky, you are a gift to my life. The past month has been the best month of my life in...a long time, you won’t. He’ll have to like you cause I lo- I like you. I like you a lot, now let’s get going. I need to buy him some stuff,” she says. She rubs my cheek, I take that hand and I kiss her knuckles. I love her too. And it might be too early to say but that’s what I feel for her.
We walk down the street hand in hand, it feels right. Her skin is soft and warm, she glances at me sometimes to see if I’m still staring. Which, I am mostly likely am. She’s too beautiful and captivating to look away from, and if people got to know her personally, there’d be a fight for her hand.
We walk into the local grocery store and she immediately went straight to the flower section. I follow her and she begins to browse. “Maybe roses?” I suggest, she simply responds “nah”.
“I got him roses last time, I’m thinking sunflowers and daises. What do you think?” She asks, picking up both bouquets. “I think you should get both?” I suggest. She gives an approving hum and takes them in her hands.
“You can pick out a balloon as I go get a cart, okay?” She says. “Yeah. that’s okay. I’ll be at the balloon section,” I answer. Y/n walks off and I head to the balloons.
I scan the balloons, deciding which one to get. But my eyes catch something even better, a SQUARE balloon. That’s awesome, this is my first time seeing one. Kinda freaky...anyways, I’ll get that one for him.
“Excuse me, can I get the green squared happy birthday one filled up?” I ask, the man nods and takes the balloon from the drawer and begins to fill the balloon up. I hope her dad likes it.
“That’s a cool balloon, Buck,” she says, pulling up next to me with the cart. “You think he’d like it?” I ask. “He’ll love it, it’s whimsical,” she responds. The employee hands me the balloon and I take it. I turn to Y/n to place it in the cart, since it has a weight at the bottom. But...I get distracted. A big smile and bright eyes take over her face, I could just feel her happiness and excitement. I place the balloon in the cart and the flowers are in there too.
We check out and we head to the next stop. Guadalupe’s Produce, a small Mexican store that is farther down the street. I’ve been there before, they have great vegetables and wonderful fruit selection. Y/n also knows the owner.
I’m holding the balloon and the flowers as Y/n watches the cars go by. She does that, she admires people. It’s interesting.
We get closer down the street and she sees a taco truck parked right across from the store. “Bucky, we should get tacos. Real tacos, not that Taco Bell shit,” she suggests. Of course I’m going to agree, her taste is way better than mine.
We arrive at the store and the owner greets us. Y/n starts a conversation with her and I wander around as they speak. I take a basket and place the flowers in there, holding the balloon in my right hand. I walk down the first aisle, it’s filled with books, magazines and comics. All in Spanish. I know Spanish, fluently too. I only whip it out in certain places though. The second aisle is full of chips and candies. Sabritones, Chicharrones, Gansitos, and Paleta Payaso’s. I take three of the clown and a bag of Chicharrones. I couldn’t help but grab a box of Duvalin’s and de la Rosa’s too now. How could I not?
I walk back near Y/n, it seems she’s almost done talking to the owner. I could hear the owner say, “come to the register” in Spanish. Y/n looks my way, her eyes fall to the basket in my hand. Y/n walks up to me with parted lips. She peeks inside the basket and spots the snacks, she looks back up at me. She takes my face in her hands and brings my lips down to hers. The kiss is like fire, passion and her lips taste like cherry cola. I could live in this moment forever.
She pulls away from my lips and she reaches for my metal hand. She holds it to her heart, “you got his favorite, Bucky”. Her eyes water but she pushes them back. She leads me to the register with her hand in mine. I place the basket on the counter and the owner, Angela, rang them up. But before she could finish, Y/n took a little bottle from next to her and places it on the counter too. I don’t recognize the candy. I hand Angela my card before Y/n could pull hers out her phonecase. Angela takes it and prints the receipt, Y/n pinches my butt.
“Do that again, Y/n,” I joke. Angela bags our snacks and flowers.
She quickly does it again as I take the bag. Y/n smirks as she dropped a ten in the tip jar.
We exit the store biting our tongues, waking across the street to the taco truck.
Once we cross, the entire mood shifts. The music got louder and voices too. People stood around conversing, children playing and families eating on benches. We get closer to the truck and the food hit my nose, it smells so good. The spices and the tacos. The sun barely hits the truck, it’s shady and windy. It’s a perfect spot.
We walk up to the truck and Y/n leans on the counter, squinting to read the menu.
“What kind of tacos do you want, Bucky?” She asks, turning back at me. “Surprise me,” I answer. Y/n smirk and turns back around. That smirk could diet her lead to a good surprise or a prank. I sit in a bench next to a family.
“¡Hola Marco! ¿Come estas? - ¡que bien! - yo qiuero dos platos de tacos con dos Jarritos, por favor,” Y/n says. I can understand what she’s saying, and she knows. So she’s not going to sabotage my tastebuds. Wait- what about her father? Is she getting him food too? Or are we eating here?
She pays the man and walks back to me, I smile. She sits next to me and I wrap my arm around her with the balloon in my hand still. I kiss her temple. “Thank you, Bucky. Thank you for coming with me to visit my dad, I appreciate it. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” she says, looking down at her hands. I could hear her heart race as she spoke.
She looks at me and I peck her lips. I rest my forehead on hers and look into her eyes. “Y/n, you don’t need to thank me. I rather be with you than anything else, so really... thank you. I can’t wait to meet your father, I can’t wait to meet the man who raised such a great woman,” Bucky says.
Before Y/n could respond, her name is called. Y/n jumps up and takes the food in her hand. She tilts her head to come to her and I do. I take the bag and the balloon follows. She takes my free hand and she begins to lead me up the street.
“Where does your dad live, Y/n?” I ask.
“Not far, just a few minutes away from my apartment. It’s an easy walk but a long train ride, surprisingly,” she answers.
“You took the subway to your dads house?”
“ONCE! My legs were hurting so bad and I didn’t think it’d take half an hour to get there!” She exclaims, I laugh and she pulls her hand away from mine. “Y/n, I’m kidding. You’re so precious,” I say, pulling her shoulder to mine. “We’re almost there, sorry it’s taking a bit,” she says.
“It’s okay, I’m used to walking,” I answer.
I look ahead and on the left is a cemetery, on the right is a street full of houses. Her father’s place must be on the right. I pull her hand towards the right so we can cross. She stands still as I drift. She looks deep into my eyes and I look at the cemetery. Shame and fear take over her face, her head drops to the ground. I come back closer, realizing what’s going on. I pull her close and I hug her.
Her dad is in the cemetery.
Her father is dead.
We’re visiting his grave.
She’s been visiting him at the cemetery all along.
I hug her tight and I whisper “it’s okay” in her ear. I know she feels guilty, and she shouldn’t feel guilty on this day. She should feel happy, like she was before. She pulls away, wiping her tears and I push her hands down and I wipe them. “Let’s see him, Y/n,” I say.
Y/n nods and leads me to the cemetery. We pass the gate and we walk up the stairs, she leads me to the stone. She places the food down, gently. She immediately drops down to her knees and hugs the stone. Rubbing its back, I remain standing.
“Hey papa, happy birthday. I love you and I miss you. This is Bucky, he’s my boyfriend and we have something for you,” she says. She looks back at me and I hand her the snack bag. She removes the dead roses and pulls out the sunflowers and daises, and places them in the vase next to his stone. She arranges them neatly. “We also got some snacks to eat, we got your favorite...well, Bucky got your favorite,” she says. She looks up at me, her eyes are begging for me to sit on the ground with her.
I sit.
She take the balloon from my hand and ties it around vase. “He seems to know your favourites before he even met you. Crazy, he even got you this balloon. Isn’t it cool?”
Oh man. My heart. She’s talking to the grave as if he’s alive. I think I might cry.
“You can talk to him too, Bucky. He’s friendly,” Y/n says. I nod and I scoot closer to her. “Hi Mr. Y/l/n, happy birthday. I’m honored to meet you, you have an amazing daughter...she’s been a blessing to my life. I hope you like the balloon, it’s green and a square! It’s cool, but yeah, anyways...I’m glad to be here celebrating your birthday,” I say. Y/n’s hand lays on top of mine and she leaves it there.
“We’ve been dating for five months, he makes me very happy. He’s only been good to me and so much more, he’s the guy I’ve been telling you about for so long,” Y/n says. I didn’t know she talked to her father about me.
“We also have tacos! I got him some regular tacos though, nothing too spicy. I don’t want his tongue palette to die,” she says as she takes the drinks out. Now, I’ve had these before. Jarritos. A classic Mexican drink. My favorite flavor is the same as Y/n’s; mandarin.
She passes me my plate and sets my drink next to my foot. She does the same for herself. But before she opens her box, she does this thing and it’s a great thing. She recycles. She takes all the plastics and places it in one bag, so she can recycle it all. It’s admirable.
She hands me her drink because she knows I have a bottle opener on hand. I take it and I open it for her, and mines too. She opens her box and begins to eat.
I take a bite out of my taco. Holy cow, it’s so good. The smell is one thing but the taste, wow. Bucky is in love.
“Oh dad, I forgot to tell you. I paid off my credit card, I’m proud of that. I thought I’d die in debt, but no- I paid it!”
Y/n spoke to her father as I ate, I spoke too. I told him about how Y/n caught her first fish and her first tien going on the Cyclone. Now, she’s finishing her food.
“We need to eat the candy, Bucky,” Y/n says with her mouth full of food. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life Y/n,” I ramble out. I dig into the snack bag and I take out la paleta. I hand one too Y/n, and we unwrap it. They definitely do not look like the packaging and neither of us have hope they ever will.
Y/n holds hers up and says “to you papa, happy birthday”. I hold mines up too and we bite into them.
She finishes her paleta and she takes a small green bottle out from the snack bag. She takes the plastic off and she pushes it into the plastic bag. She twists the bottle and little crystals fall out into her hand, she purposely lets it fall. She licks it off?
“Y/n, what’s that?” I ask, eating my paleta.
“Lucas,” she answers, pouring more onto her bare palm.
“Ummm, sure,” I place my hand out and she licks hers off first. She pours some in my hand and it looks like sugar, I quickly lick it off.
As soon as it hit my tongue, it was too late. The saltiness and sourness hit like a train, I was not expecting that. I wipe the remaining “candy” on my jeans. I take the soda and chug it down to get rid of the taste as Y/n laughs her ass off.
The soda runs out and I put the bottle down and I wipe my mouth. “You’re lucky I love you, Jesus what was that?” I say.
Y/n’s laughing stops. I get concerned and it hit me what I just slipped out.
“James Buchanan Barnes, I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life”.
Sorry this isn’t so good, been really down lately. Hopefully it’s decent💗 pls leave some feedback💗
#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x mexican!reader#bucky barnes x poc#bucky barnes x woc#bucky barnes x woc!reader
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The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities
Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee
Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?
Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!
It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!
I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!
Unicorn Rating:
Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!
Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!
Review:
I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.
McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.
Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.
Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.
Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.
The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!
One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.
My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.
Queer Wrap-up:
Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.
So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.
Links:
Shannon McGee Website
The Storygraph
Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.
Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”
Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!
#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters#Shannon McGee#resident lesbrarian#3 unicorns#questioning girl#lesbian#heavy wlw romantic subtext#ya novel#ya fantasy#go to your local library#but wear a mask#and wash your hands#and stay 6 feet apart#be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals
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