#and the universe and everything added into the game is clearly with a loving view and i am so so happy about that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

It’s Always Been You ~ 143

OUT OF TIME MASTERLIST

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,600ish

Summary: Surprisingly, more secrets come out. A final plan is formed.

Notes: Please read the ending note. You must read Out Of Time in order to understand this. The chapter numbers continue from Out Of Time. (gifs aren’t mine)

“She’s not the only one whose kept secrets, Steve,” Natasha said, once Y/N was clearly gone. “We all have.”

“This is different,” Steve argued, mad. “This has to do with half the universe turning into dust and the man who did it. She should have told us so that we could have—“

“Done what, Steve?!” Tony retorted. “Spent the past five years planning and waiting for something to happen?! That’s not a way to live! I know that because I’ve lived that! I’ve tried to do that!” Tony took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he backed away from everyone. “I may be the only one who feels this way, but I wouldn’t change the last five years. Yes, I miss people terribly and feel the guilt of what happened constantly. But I finally have the family I’ve always longed for. I have a daughter who is my whole world, and a wife who fights for what she loves.”

“Her telling us everything wouldn’t have changed when Scott came back or when I put the pieces together about time travel,” Tony continued. “Keeping that a secret didn’t change anything.”

“Tony’s right,” Clint spoke up. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Tony and Clint nodded at each other. Tony knew it had to be hard for Clint to admit that, especially since he had lost his whole family. Steve clenched his jaw, frustrated.

“Steve,” Natasha called calmly, “have you ever thought about how many times you get angry at Y/N for keeping things from you?”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” Steve said.

“You freak and turn around and blame everything on her. Maybe she doesn’t tell you things because she knows that you won’t react in the best way. And you doubt her, so much.”

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?” Tony retorted. The two men glared at each other in silence for a moment, the tension getting thick. “I’m going to go check on my wife.”

~~~

“Hey Pepper,” Y/N greeted, video calling her friend.

“Hey Y/N,” Pepper replied.

“Is Morgan up?”

“I’m sorry, I put her to bed already.”

“That’s okay.”

“Is something wrong though? You seem a little down.”

“I just… can you poke me in there for a second? I just need to see her.”

“Of course.” Pepper began heading to Morgan’s room. “She really misses you guys.”

“We miss her too.”

Pepper quietly opened Morgan’s door and reached her hand in so that Y/N could see the little girl on the phone. Morgan was sound asleep, clinging onto the Iron Man stuffy that Tony had bought her. Y/N’s eyes slowly filled with tears as she longed to hold her child.

“Thank you, Pep,” Y/N said softly.

“Of course,” the woman replied.

“Tell her we’ll call her tomorrow. And that we love her.”

“Y/N, what’s up?”

“This is all just getting more real. And I don’t want something to happen with Morgan knowing her parents love her.”

“Nothing’s going to happen. You and Tony are going to be fine.”

Y/N gave her friend a tight lipped smile, clearly not believable. “Thanks for taking care of her for us, Pep. Good night.”

Y/N sighed after hanging up, leaning back against the headboard. She closed her eyes and sucked in her lips. She had never missed her abilities more in the last five years, then at this very moment. She wished she could simply portal herself home, to hold her child. But Y/N couldn’t, and she knew she needed to stay at the compound and finish out the mission. No matter the cost.

“Are you okay?” Tony’s voice was quiet as he leaned in the doorway, worried eyes raking over his wife.

“I’m fine,” she answered, not bothering to open her eyes.

Tony sighed before he walked over and sat himself on the bed. He made sure he wasn’t touching her, not wanting to press. “I let Steve have it after you left. It wasn’t right for him to do that. Red even had my back.” Y/N didn’t respond. “Honey… I’m sorry.” He set a comforting hand on her leg. “I know that I’ve pushed you in the past for not saying anything. But I’m beginning to see the weight that the Stones have placed on you. I’m so sorry.”

“He will never understand,” Y/N breathed out quietly. “He hasn’t been able to since he came out of the ice… I lived 5 years with believing he was dead. I changed in that time and he has never been able to accept that… but doesn’t make it hurt any less. He’s still my twin…” Y/N finally opened her eyes and met Tony’s. She reached out and took his hand from her leg. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For standing with me.”

“I made vows to do so. I never intend on breaking them.”

She pulled him closer to her. She wrapped herself around him, earning a light chuckle.

“Can we stay like this the rest of the night?” She whispered.

“Of course,” Tony answered, kissing her hairline. “We can stay like this as long as you like.”

~~~

In the morning, the couple ate breakfast in bed before venturing out to face the rest of the group. Everyone was seemingly trying to act normal, but Steve. Every time he glanced Y/N’s way, it was harsh. Cold and unforgiving. Tony kept himself at Y/N’s side as the group began going over the Tesseract.

“Our first major run in with the Tesseract, or Space Stone, was back in the 40’s,” Steve explained. He was standing in front of everyone, pictures, videos and information were playing on the screens behind him. “HYDRA’s then leader, Red Skull, was using it to create mass energy weapons. Y/N and I were on Red Skull’s plane when it took off to bomb major cities around the world.” Steve looked at Y/N. “Would you like to tell the rest of it?”

She pursed her lips, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Sure.” She stood up and went to the front of the room. “As Steve said, we were in the ship. I was trying to get to the controls and the Tesseract, when it could knocked loose. It portaled Red Skull away. I…” Y/N paused with a sigh. She hadn’t recounted this story since she woke up. “I grabbed the cube as it fell, burning my hand. Dropping it, it burned a hole in the floor causing both myself and the cube to fall. I grabbed onto it as a fell…” Y/N looked down at her scarred hand, rubbing it nervously. “Howard Stark later found it in his search for Steve and I.”

“After that, it was in SHIELD’s hands,” Y/N continued. “And, from what Carol has added to the record, a scientist who was trying to save the Skrull species. From their Fury began tests on it and began making weapons of his own. That’s how the Battle of New York started… Being control by the Mind Stone himself, Loki came and took the Tesseract. He used it to open a giant portal, letting the Chitauri army through.”

More video footage began being played of that day behind her. The all watched, with those who were there remembering the day like it was yesterday.

“How long did you fight these guys?” Rocket asked.

“About, uh, two or three hours,” Natasha responded. She looked at Tony who nodded along in agreement.

“The Chitauri are the suckiest army in the galaxy. Why didn’t you just blow up the mothership?”

“We didn’t know that was a thing,” Steve said.

“You didn’t know that was a thing?” Rocket laughed. Tony stood up from his seat, shaver in hand. (He was shaving as he was listening.) He went up behind Rocket and shaved some of his hair on top of his head. “Everyone knows— Hey!”

“There we go,” Tony said. “All better.”

“Tony was the one to send the missile up through the portal, successfully destroying the mother ship,” Y/N explained. “I closed the portal.” She looked at Tony, who met her eyes. “Luckily, we all came out of it alive.”

“Not all of us,” Clint commented. “We lost a good one that day. Phil Coulson.”

“Yeah… about that… Fury actually brought him back to life.”

“What?!” Natasha, Clint, Thor, and Steve exclaimed. The four quickly noticed at Bruce and Tony weren’t phased.

“Did you two know about this?” Natasha asked.

“Yes,” Bruce answered, “but only because it was vital. We were helping Skye—“

“Daisy,” Tony and Y/N corrected together.

“—and Y/N with their new found powers. Phil was a big part in that.”

“Those missions… that base you would talk about… SHIELD suddenly resurfacing,” Steve mumbled, putting the pieces together. “You leaving to save your Team… You kept SHIELD and Coulson alive, right under our noses.”

“Again, I was only doing what was right,” Y/N defended herself. “We saved the world countless more times than anyone even realized, including the other heroes in this room…. Coulson’s team is the reason we found Loki’s scepter. And in Sokovia, the helicarrier Fury brought was from Coulson. He had found it and patched it back together.”

“Sif,” Thor whispered. “She was so very vague about the two times she was down here.”

“She was keeping the secret. If people knew that Coulson was alive, it would have changed the game.”

“How did he survive?” Natasha asked.

“It was called the TAHITI Program. Fury directed Coulson to head it. It was meant for a fall of an Avenger. To bring them back if anything were to happen in battle. After years of trials, it was disbanded. The side affects were awful… but then Coulson died. And Fury couldn’t accept that.”

“Who else knew?” Steve asked.

“Besides Fury, Tony, Bruce, Sif, and myself, Maria Hill, our SHIELD teams, and many government officials worldwide. Including President Ellis.”

Steve scoffed. “All the secrets,” he muttered, shaking his head. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“Where is Phil now?” Natasha asked. “Did he survive?”

“He died right before the Blip,” Y/N answered. “Complications from the TAHITI Program and other things that had happened… Please don’t be angry. I understand that it seems like I’ve kept some big things from everyone. But you have to try and understand it from my point of view.”

Everyone was silent, not knowing what to say. Y/N stood in the front of the room, preparing for the attack on her. But it never came. Steve stormed out and the others from the original team followed, including Tony and Bruce. Y/N closed her eyes, trying to keep herself calm.

“I know that I’m new here and don’t know much,” Scott said, standing up to go to Y/N. “But I know that you have a good heart. And that you were only trying to protect everyone.”

She looked at him with a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, Scott.”

~~~

“It’s just one thing after another with her!” Steve exclaimed. “Is everything a lie? It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore!”

“Steve, I think we need to stay calm and look at this from her said,” Natasha said. “She has been trying to protect everyone, except herself. The whole time she was going from fight to fight without much of a break.”

“It’s true,” Tony agreed. “I personally witnessed the wear and tear it did to her.”

“When she got shot after SHIELD fell, was that because of Coulson?” Steve asked, marching up to Tony.

“It wasn’t because of Coulson. It was because someone on her team ended up being HYDRA.”

Steve ran a hand down her face. “I don’t know where the lies stop and the truth begins.”

“She never actually lied to you,” Natasha brought up. “She told you what she could and kept the rest to herself. To protect everyone.”

“She still should have told us about Coulson,” Clint spoke up. “He was important to all of us.”

“Coulson and Fury specifically instructed her that the team not know,” Tony explained. “She actually got in trouble for telling me and Bruce.”

“But again we had to know,” Bruce said. “Y/N and Skye—“

“Daisy.”

“—had suddenly gained powers. If anyone was going to be able to help them, it was going to be us.”

“I need some time to think,” Steve said, walking away.

“We really shouldn’t be focusing on this right now,” Bruce sighed, shaking his head. “We should be focusing on the Stones. What Y/N kept from us is not the priority.”

“As long as she tells us any other information that could be of use to us,” Natasha said.

“She will,” Tony promised.

“I can’t imagine she’s taking this well,” Clint mentioned.

“She’s not really showing very much, trying to keep it all in. But I don’t blame her. Steve’s been going after her since he got out of the ice.”

“It’s hurting both of them,” Natasha said. “It’s like they want it to be how is was before the ice. Yet, they both have changed.”

“I don’t think Steve’s willing to see it the most,” Bruce added. “It’s going to tear them apart when we need them to work together the most right now.”

“Together, they can be one of the best teams.”

Tony sighed. “Let’s finish getting the information on the Stones. Then we can worry about the rest of it.”

~~~

They all gathered back together to go over more about the Stones. They finished all the new on the Tesseract and Space Stone before moving to the Mind Stone. It was hard to talk about that one, since Vision was a big part of it.

“Where’s Vision now?” Scott asked.

“We brought him back to the Compound, but the Accords and his own will forced us to give his body to an organization called SWORD,” Natasha explained. “They were forced to dismantle him because of the Accords.”

“We were too late in getting him to Wakanda,” Bruce explained. “So there was no way to bring him back without the Stone.”

“Hopefully that the only permanent casualty we take from all this,” Tony commented, bringing Y/N closer to his side.

“That wasn’t the only life lost,” Nebula said. “My sister, Gamora, she died too.”

They took on the Soul Stone next. There was very little information on it besides what Y/N and Nebula knew.

“Thanos found the Soul Stone on Vormir,” Nebula explained.

“What is Vormir?” Natasha asked, taking notes.

“A dominion of death, at the very center of Celestial existence. It’s where… Thanos murdered my sister.”

Everyone sat there awkwardly, and saddened. Not knowing what to say or do.

“Not it,” Scott said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Y/N,” Steve called, in this stern Captain voice. “Do you know anything about the Soul Stone that could possibly help us?”

“I know that it is a very power Stone in its own right. With it I was able to conjure the spiritual representation of those who are dead.”

“What?” A few gasped. Tony reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I saw…” She paused, swallowing her emotions down. “I saw my unborn son, AJ, my parents, and Phil Coulson.”

“Our parents?” Steve questioned. Y/N responded with a simple nod. “How could you not tell me?”

“At the time we weren’t talking, and it never came up later.”

“I can’t—“

“Guys,” Natasha stood up in the middle, placing herself between the siblings. “Stop fighting. We have something bigger we need to focus on, and if you can’t see that you both can leave.”

“I’m not the one with the problem,” Steve growled.

Holding the tip of her tongue between her teeth, she silently watched Steve. She was trying to put her thoughts together when Tony decided to speak up.

“Seriously, Rogers, cut the bullshit,” Tony said. “I get you’re probably hurt that she never told you anything. But that doesn’t give you the right to make her your personal emotional punching bag. Crap happened and she didn’t tell you, but she’s telling you now.”

“You know…” Y/N began slowly. “I miss the days when it was you, Bucky, and I against the world. Just like you do. The days you trusted me and didn’t doubt me, no matter what… you blame this all on me, Steve? Fine! But communication is a two way street. Just remember that. I’m not the only one that’s kept secrets. Like the one about Howard and Bucky.” That left Steve silent. “I’ll be in the other room, trying to put a plan together if anyone needs me.” She left.

“Go work out some energy, Steve,” Natasha suggested. “We’ll take it from here.”

~~~

Tony found Y/N laying on a table with FRIDAY talking to her about the Time Stone.

“Mute,” Tony ordered, coming into the room.

“If you’re here to talk about Steve, I’m not listening,” Y/N responded, looking at the ceiling.

“I figured. That’s why I came to join you and help.” Tony leaned over Y/N and gently kissed her.

“Uh, guys,” Bruce broke in before the couple could get heated. They turned to see Bruce and Nat standing in the doorway. “We just came to see if you needed any help. Everyone else needed a break.”

“Help would be great,” Y/N responded.

Tony crawled up onto the table, sitting by Y/N, while Y/N sat up. Bruce and Nat came in further and the four of them began going through everything they knew about the Time Stone and trying to form the most logical plan to collect the Stones. After of few hours of nothing coming together, Tony and Y/N were back laying on the table. Bruce was laying on the floor with Natasha leaned up against him.

“That Time Stone guy…” Natasha began again.

“Doctor Strange,” Bruce corrected.

“Yeah, what kind of doctor was he?”

“Ear-nose-throat meets rabbit from a hat,” Tony answered, spinning his glasses in one hand while rubbing his eyes.

“Something neuro,” Y/N clarified.

“Nice place in the village, though,” Bruce added.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “Sullivan Street.”

“Hmmm… Bleecker.”

“Wait, he lived in New York?” Natasha wondered.

“No. He lived in Toronto,” Tony scoffed. “Were you even paying attention?”

“Guys, if you pick the right year, there are three Stones in New York.”

Bruce sat up in surprise saying, “Shut the front door.”

~~~

The team was quickly gathered and Y/N explained the best points for them to go.

“Okay, we will retrieve the Soul and Power Stones in space 2014; the Reality Stone on Asgard in 2013; and the Space, Mind, and Time Stones in New York City in 2012,” she told them, pulling the information up on the screens.

“Now all we need are to assign the teams,” Tony stated.

“I’ve sketched out a plan and would like to get everyone’s opinions.”

They all glanced Steve’s way, waiting for the Captain to say something. He simply glared, arms crossed over his chest.

“Shoot,” Clint encouraged, when Steve didn’t speak up.

“So, due to certain knowledge of events, I believe that we need to try and stick to our own timelines, even though it could be dangerous,” Y/N explained. “We know our own timelines best. Where to avoid, where the Stones would be found, all that jazz. With that in mind, I was thinking Thor would go to Asgard, Rocket and Nebula would go to space, and the rest of us would go to New York.”

“The teams need to be evened out,” Steve spoke up, not impressed.

“I was just getting to that. I was going to see if anyone was going to volunteer to retrieve any of the Stones. I believe we need at least two people on each mission. And remember, the space mission is actually two separate missions.”

“I’ll go with Thor,” Rocket offered. “I think I could probably help the best there.”

“Thank you Rocket.”

“I can go with Nebula,” Rhodey said. “I’m not familiar with any of the spots, so I might as well.” Y/N nodded in agreement, making a note of it.”

“I should stay in 2012,” Tony said. “Being back in the Tower, I might have to break into JARVIS.”

“Agreed,” Y/N.

“I’ll stay in 2012 as well,” Steve said. “I also think Scott could be a good asset with us as well.”

“Sounds great,” Scott nodded along.

“Bruce, I was thinking that you and I could go and speak to the Ancient One and get the Time Stone,” Y/N suggested. “I have a feeling it will take some convincing to take the Stone from her.”

“Okay,” Bruce agreed.

“That leaves Clint and Natasha. Since you guys are a good team, how do you feel about hitting up Vormir for the Soul Stone?”

The two looked at each other and nodded, before looking back at Y/N.

“We can do that,” Clint said.

“Awesome,” Y/N responded. “Now we just need specifics for each mission. Break off into teams and use the information to create a specific plan.”

Everyone split off and created plans for their team. Coming back together, each plan was explained.

“Alright,” Steve claimed the attention once the final plan was laid out, “we have a plan. Six Stones, three teams. One shot. Take the night to get things together and rest, we’ll meet up and head out in the morning.”

next chapter >

I know that this fighting and secrets thing is probably annoying, but I promise there is a point to it. Please be patient with me. Thank you.

I appreciate all likes, comments, asks, and reblogs! Thank you for all the positive support!

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU TAG LIST:

BOTH:

@23victoria

@azure23x

@booknerd-3000

@thewidowsghost

@tuttifuckinfruttifriday

@i-dumb-bitch

@marinettepotterandplagg

@booksarebae2000

@roxytheimmortal

@love-couldbe-my-weakness

@bellamy-barnes

@loveisallyouneed1125

@paintballkid711

@stuckupstucky

@austynparksandpizza

@sydney-m

@fangirl-swagg

@livinglikebritishroyalty

@cspr-2

@supernaturallover2002

@laic2299

@aubreeskailynn (won’t link)

@capstopavenger

@bestofbucky

@irishfaulk97

@a--1--1--3

TONY:

@bispences

@topstory21

@supernatural-bangtanboys

@marvellover04 (won’t link)

@rapunzelskywalker1234 (won’t link)

@theofficialzivadavid

@emmuut

@mikariell95

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x rogers!reader #steve rogers x sister!reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #tony stark imagine #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #tony stark #Tony Stark fanfiction #marvel #avengers endgame #endgame #iron man x reader #iron man imagine #steve rogers x reader

166 notes · View notes

thinking-about-sw33ts · 3 years

Text

αѕ ρяσмιѕє∂ нєяє ιѕ σиє σf тнє fαиfι¢ѕ!! ι ωιℓℓ ρσѕт тнє σтнєя σиє αѕ ωєℓℓ, ѕσ ∂σи'т ωσяяу! αи∂ αѕ αℓωαуѕ ιf тнєяє αяє αиу ѕρєℓℓιиg мιѕтαкє(ѕ)/єяяσя(ѕ), ρℓєαѕє тєℓℓ мє αи∂ ι ωιℓℓ fιχ ιт тнє ѕαмє gσєѕ fσя тнє тяαиѕℓαтισи(ѕ)!! αи∂ мαувє fσя α fєω σf тнє ∂єfιиιтισи(ѕ)! αgαιи, αℓℓ σf тнєѕє ωιℓℓ вє σи ωαттα∂ тσσ!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⭐️Corsets⭐️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anime:

🗝Nanbaka🗝

Supporting ship(s):

🎥Tsukumo🎥 X 💢Honey💢

Type:

🌸Fluff🌸

🌶Spicy🌶

AU(Alternative Universe):

🗝Normal🗝

Love interest for Reader:

🛠Trois🛠

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🚻(Y/N)’s P.O.V🚻(Point of View):

“For the last game! Is of course, the sake barrel tournament!” Mitsuru claimed, while floating over the roaring audience. After explaining what the objective was, the game soon began.

Samon immediately charged after Kiji, while Honey and Trois quickly ran towards the large wooden barrel, with cell 8 on their tail.

I feel myself getting worried, knowing that Trois and Honey weren’t really much of a fighter. So cell 8 beating them wouldn't really be much of a surprise.

“Quit it Monkey! Don’t you dare ruin my makeup! Do you know how much time I spent on this!” Kiji cried out, using his dual weapons to dodge Samon’s swinging staff.

“Shut up, Pheasant!” Samon shouted, trying to at least hit one of the pressure spots on Kiji’s body.

Suddenly Trois grabs Honey’s leg before swinging him around, and tossing him towards the wooden sake barrel, Honey landing perfectly in the middle, breaking the wooden seal over the wooden sake barrel, before falling in, and getting soaked by the sake.

The audience being completely silent, clearly shocked by what Trois had done, before roaring out cheers of excitement.

“And there ya have it folks! Seems like Building 3 finally won the new year's tournament, for once!” Mitsuru announced over the mic, clearly pumped up.

Suddenly Kiji brings one of his hands, and places it on his hip, striking a victorious pose. “Hmp, and that’s what you all get for doubting me.” Kiji purred out, his confidence showing.

Honey soon rises from the wooden sake barrel about to shout at Trois for what he just did, before trying to process everything that had happened staring back at the said frenchie.

Once he realizes what had happened he gets out of the barrel before cheering himself. Trois on the other hand stares at me, before flashing a charming, but gentle smile.

I felt my cheeks getting warm, before smiling back. Giving him a thumbs up. “Aren’t you going to give him a victory kiss, inmate 6?” Ahato asked, giving me a closed-eyed smile.

“I suppose so.” I replied, leaning against the red railings, desperately trying to calm down my raging blush. Soon enough Cell 6 returned back to their seats. Each boy being seated on my side.

“I, Ahato, is always and very impressed with what you do! You did great, Kiji Onee-sama! We’ll finally get a raise!~” Ahato fanboyed, high-fiving Kiji with both of his arms.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Mon Amour~” Trois asked, tapping his cheek with his pointer finger. I rolled my (E/C) coloured eyes at him, before giving in, and giving him a victory kiss on his cheek.

While Honey sat on the other side of me, completely ignoring the both of us. The warden soon started her speech congratulating the winning building.

During said speech I had managed to nudge Honey’s arm using my elbow, catching his attention. I pointed to a different building, building 13.

While pointing to the said different building, I was also directly pointing at a certain pink haired shinobi. This action made Honey blush, turning his gaze away from me, and staring at the shinobi.

‘He totally has the hots for him.’ I thought to myself smugly, while smirking. From the corner of my eye, I saw the said shinobi waving at Honey, which Honey waved back. A little smile grazing his face.

‘I didn’t know he could make that face.’ I thought to myself, finally ignoring the two of them, and focusing on the speech.

Soon enough, the speech was over, and the feast took place! After the feast we got escorted back to our cell. “Goodnight you three!~” Kiji announced, doing his final rounds before going home.

Suddenly Honey raises himself using his elbows. Trois doing the same shortly after. While I just turned at them, laying down, too lazy to sit up.

“This year was nice.” Trois commented, smiling softly. “Another year, where I get to see your hideous face, once again, Trois.” Honey teased, a smirk planted on his face. Trois ignored his comment, paying attention to me.

“What did you two want, exactly?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. “A lingerie viewing exhibit~” Both of them purred out, clearly excited. A little blush could be seen on their cheeks. While their eyes sparkled.

I just shivered, not knowing why they’re so fascinated with women’s underwear. “Lights out!” Ahato announced, before shortly shutting off the lights after. “What about you, (Y/N)?” Trois asked, while Honey didn’t say anything. Although, clearly listening in.

“A phone that stores all genres of Manga, Manhua, Manhwas, and Anime!” I announced, excited. My (E/C) eyes sparkling. “That sounds nice.” Trois commented, a small smile grazing his features.

Soon enough Honey slowly went to sleep, snuggling deeper inside his dark purple futon, the both of us following shortly after. Trois slowly gets up from his mint green futon, and slips in my (Y/F/C) futon.

Trois held me protectively, yet softly, his legs tangled with mine. He raises a few of my (H/C) coloured hair out of my forehead, before planting a soft kiss. Giving my lips a small peck as well. I placed my hand on his cheek, caressing it. He softly grabs my wrist, before planting another kiss directly on it.

Giving me yet another gentle loving smile. Me, softly smiling back.

“Ugh, get a room.” Honey groaned out, annoyed. “Says the one who has a crush on that ninja from building 13.” I replied, annoyed as well, clearly just trying to enjoy peace, and quiet with my lover.

“What!?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🚻(Y/N)’s P.O.V🚻(Point of View):

The next day soon came, as well as our prizes. After eating breakfast in the cafeteria. Feeling absolute euphoria eating (Y/F/F), my favorite!~

While Trois ate some Cream stew, and Honey a clam chowder. We quickly got escorted to Kazari’s lab by Kiji. “Oh, hello there number 6. Just wait here, while I grab your prize.” Kazari explained, hurrying to go get the prize from another room.

I sat on a chair, patiently waiting for Kazari to come back. Soon after she comes back with a (Y/F/C) coloured phone, which she hands to me.

“It has all the latest Mangas and Animes, along with some of the oldest ones, and ones in between.” Kazari added, petting my head.

“Thank you so much Kazari!~” I cheered, quickly opening the phone. Hopping on a Manga I’ve always wanted to read. Soon enough we got to the boy’s prize.

Trois inviting Uno, thinking he might want to see it as well, much to Honey’s dismay. Kiji soon comes back, fetching us, before taking us to another separate room. The boys quickly head inside, clearly excited.

“Oh my~” Both boys mutter out, surprised. Once they settle down from their excitement, they scatter looking at the different lingeries, bras, and panties.

“Oh my god! This is pure heaven!~” Honey cheered, looking at the different selections of panties. “They even have white lace~” He mutters out, reading the sign on the bottom. His emerald eyes sparkling with endearment.

Uno soon joins in, entering through the door, before looking at a certain baby blue lingerie two piece set. His ocean coloured eyes sparkling with excitement.

I just stare at the unnecessary commotion their making, my (E/C) orbs judging them ever so slightly. As much as I loved my perverted boyfriend, Trois, sometimes his pervertedness can get out of hand.

I quickly go back to reading (F/M) on my(Y/F/C) phone, ignoring them, and leaning against the wall. That focus slowly breaking from the commotion the boys were making.

I walk around, looking at the different things as well. Before stumbling on a plain (Y/F/C) corset vest. ‘I have been wanting to try a corset for the last few days.’ I wondered to myself, not knowing that I was actually muttering it out. All of a sudden I felt someone hugging me from behind, making me jump, since I was surprised.

I looked behind me only to instantly calm down, seeing that it was only Trois. He places a few strands of my (H/L) (H/C) behind my ear, before trailing a few light, fluttery kisses down my neck. I chuckle, the sensation making me feel slightly ticklish. Making me blush lightly.

“Did that one catch your eye, mon chéri~” Trois asks, his deep rose coloured eyes showing nothing but mischief. “And what if I say yes?” I asked him back, wondering what he had stored.

“Ugh! I told you before, get a fucking room!”

“Damn pretty boy!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✨Timeskip✨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🚻(Y/N)’s P.O.V🚻(Point of View):

“Apparently Honey was allowed to stay at cell 11, building 13 for the night.” Trois explained, using his towel to dry his hair, before brushing it. I nod, to show that I was listening.

“Lights out!” Kiji announces, before doing another round. Soon after the lights shut off, covering us in total darkness. The only light coming from the moon in the starry sky.

“I got you a little of something (Y/N).”

“And what might that be?”

I sat up from my (Y/F/C) futon, curious for what he got me. He quickly goes towards one of the white fancy wardrobes, pulling on one of the bottom drawers, before fetching a medium sized (Y/F/C) wrapped box.

He hands me the box, excited for me to open it. Once I opened it, I realized that it was the corset vest I took a liking to. “How did you even get this?” I asked him, generally surprised, before excitement took place.

He ignored my question, quickly pecking my lips. “You’re too cute for your own good, Mon Amour.” Trois purred out, taking my hand, and kissing it.

“Such a gentleman~” I praised him, feeding his ever growing ego. “Do you mind if you put it on me?” I ask him, turning away in order to hide my red face. “Whatever you need sweetheart~”

Trois sits beside me, before grabbing my wrist, which makes me fall directly on his lap, facing him. He quickly fetches the corset, placing it on me.

I hook the pieces on the front. I feel Trois’ hands on each side of my hips, guiding them up and down, before getting the two strings from the back of the corset, wrapping it around his hands, and pulling.

I slightly jumped, getting startled, before relaxing once again. Once he had completely pulled them he quickly tied them. “You look like an absolute God/Goddess in that (Y/N).” Trois whispers into my ear, before placing his head on my shoulder, cuddling me.

He soon raises his head, capturing my lips against his. Our tongues moved smoothly against each other. We quickly pulled apart, since the need for air was growing stronger. A string of saliva connecting to each other’s lips.

We both panted, clearly out of breath. He headed over to my neck, covering it with noticeable hickeys, and love bites. Before I could moan, I covered my mouth with my hand, so that I wouldn’t make any embarrassing noises.

“People can see them.” I panted out, blush covering my cheeks, from what had earlier happened. “Good~ People can see that you're mine.” Trois replied, smirking to himself.

“Oh my God! Trois what are you doing!” Kiji shrieked out, shining his flashlight on us. “Wait, is that the corset from the exhibit?!” Honey questions, a mixture of surprise and disgust hinted in his voice. “Honey weren’t you supposed to be with your ninja boyfriend!” I questioned back, panicking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translation(s):

• Mon Amour = My Love.

• Mon Cherie = My Dear.

Definition(s):

• (Y/F/C) = Your Favorite Colour.

• (Y/N) = Your Name.

• (H/L) = Hair Length.

• (H/C) = Hair Colour.

• (F/M) = Favorite Manga/Manhua/Manhwa.

• (E/C) = Eye Colour.

• (Y/F/F) = Your Favorite Food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

32 notes · View notes

skeezsbbygirl · 4 years

Text

call me that too + kim seungmin

this one’s for anon who requested a seungmin scenario with a dash of oppa kink. i didn’t go too overboard hehe, just a sprinkle of a suggestive theme at the end (i’ll leave it to your imagination asdjhfrirgjgl cuz i can’t handle them feelssss ugh)

nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy! oh and thank you for the love that you guys are showing for “peaches + bang chan” uwuuuu (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

REQUEST BOX IS STILL OPEN. STREAM GOD’S MENU AND VOTE FOR OUR BOYS.

[5:12 p.m.] A yawn escaped your lips as you managed to go through all your assigned lectures for the day. You logged out from your university's portal and shut your laptop close, not wanting to stare at the bright screen any longer. You sauntered towards the kitchen and opened the drawer that contained all your caffeine-related pick-me-ups. As you were about to grab a mug, your actions were halted by your phone's ringtone, signalling a call as it rang on the coffee table from your apartment's living room. You managed to accept the call before it was dropped.

SeungMong <3

"Hey," you answered, sauntering back to the kitchen as you cradled your phone in between your right ear and shoulder to keep your hands free. "Baby, are you busy?" Seungmin asked. You shook your head but you mentally facepalmed as you remembered that the boy on the other line couldn't see you, "No. I just finished some school stuff. What's up?"

"Can you come over? Chan-hyung wants to take us out for dinner," Seungmin replied and you could faintly hear Jisung and Changbin screaming in the background -- something about Chan covering food expenses for the first time. You lightly chuckled and responded, "Yeah sure, I'll be there in twenty."

An hour passed and you were all gathered at the boys’ go-to restaurant, which was three blocks down from your university's dormitory.

"Am I dreaming?" Jisung teased as he hopped off Chan's car, Changbin and Jeongin not far behind him. “Somebody drive him back home,” Chan groaned to which the younger one giggled, jumping on his back in the process. “Hyung, come on. I was just poking fun at you,” Jisung cooed at the elder, earning him a light flick on the forehead from Chan.

You beamed at the sight of the boys playfully bickering. “Pay attention to me,” Seungmin whined and nudged your shoulder. You broke into a cheesy grin and gave his cheek a peck, “You always have my attention.”

Seungmin extended a hand towards you, to which you gladly complied, squeezing his hand three times as you intertwined your hand with his -- your silent way of saying ‘I love you’.

Soon after, you guys were seated inside the restaurant and you fell into each of your own said conversations.

“How was your day?” Seungmin asked as he adjusted his seat closer to yours. “Better now that I’m with you,” you said in a voice soft with affection. Seungmin chuckled, “Stop it.” You shook your head, leaning closer so that your forehead touched his. “You’re so cute,” you teased, which earned you a pout from the older male. “You do know that I’m a year older than you, right?” Seungmin bragged. You rolled your eyes, “Your point being?”

Seungmin sighed in defeat, opting to plant a kiss on your lips, but you were interrupted by multiple groans and a chorus of complains. “Get a room already!” Felix exclaimed with his hands covering his eyes, a poor attempt to discard the sight of yours and Seungmin’s “sickening” affection, as Minho described it. You stuck a tongue out at Felix, “Stop being so bitter.”

Felix faked sob and Jeongin joined in on his act, embracing the older male and patting his head.

Soon, your playful banter came to an end as your orders arrived. You guys were eating in silence, uttering a compliment here and there towards the dishes that you were served, until Hyunjin called for your attention.

“Oh, (y/n), before I forget,” the older male started, only stopping for a second to sip on his drink. “I found that outline you’ve been looking for,” he continued. “Please tell me you have it,” you pleaded, eager to finish the book review that your professor has quested upon your class a week ago. Hyunjin nodded, “The copy is in the car, I got you.”

You cheered as you reached out your hand to give him a high-five. “You’re the best, oppa.”

With your response, Hyunjin immediately side-eyed Seungmin’s reaction. He might have known something or at least sensed something, specifically when Seungmin blabbered -- well, more like ranted -- about you not calling him the said endearment you just used on Hyunjin a few seconds ago.

Let’s rewind, shall we?

Hyunjin was an hour away from a deadline, and yes, he admits that he may have finished his project sooner, but a certain someone, who goes by the name of Jisung, decided that it would be more fun to play video games over at Felix and Changbin’s dorm. “That stupid project isn’t even due for another day. Chill out, dude,” Jisung claimed with burgeoning excitement. Instead of turning his friend down -- or better, kicking his tempting ass out of the dorm -- he caved in.

Hours later, he was cramming at least two days worth of work into an hour. Then comes your boyfriend, Seungmin. “Hyunjin!” the younger male called out from their dorm’s entrance. “In here!” Hyunjin hollered, his fingers still hot on his laptop’s keyboard, seven more questions and a descriptive about his said stand on the project, and he’ll be done -- both figuratively and literally, his brain’s slowly pan-frying itself to destruction. He mentally cursed Jisung.

“Procrastination at its finest,” Seungmin mocked as he entered Hyunjin’s room. “You can nag me later, bur right now I have to finish this and then kick Jisung’s ass,” Hyunjin said with firm persistence. The younger lad sighed and sat down on a bean bag at the corner of the room. “I don’t have the energy to nag,” Seungmin whispered, but Hyunjin still managed to catch his words. He jokingly rolled his eyes, finding slight amusement towards Seungmin’s puppy expression.

“You and (y/n), had a fight?” Hyunjin asked, his attention still on his laptop but he figured he needed Seungmin for a little background noise to keep him sane, plus the guy’s one of his best friends. “Not really,” Seungmin disagreed. “Then, what got you all gloomy?” Hyunjin insisted, but he was only met with silence.

“Seungmo, come on, spill.”

“She addresses you as an ‘oppa’,” Seungmin blurted out after a few seconds. “Who addresses me as what?” Hyunjin asked, his eyebrows contorted in confusion. “(y/n),” Seungmin answered as he buried his face in his arms. “Seungmo, you do know that she does that to everybody that’s older than her, right?” Hyunjin replied, “It’s called being polite.”

“Well, I call it being unfair.”

Hyunjin chuckled in amusement, “Please elaborate.”

“You and I are the same age, which means that I’m older than her too, but she doesn’t call me that,” Seungmin whined.

And that’s how Seungmin ended up being silent for the rest of the night. You, being unaware of the situation, shrugged it off, thinking that he was just exhausted from his vocal lessons. Until, Hyunjin decided to let you in on the puppy’s cause of gloominess.

“Here, now go ace that literature course,” Hyunjin handed you the outline he promised, giving your head a pat in the process. “Thank you, oppa.”

“One more thing, (y/n),” Hyunjin said as he leaned down and whispered, “Seungmin wants to be called that too.”

“Huh?” you turned to him in confusion, but Hyunjin just stared at you and decided that you would come into revelation in a few seconds. “Oh,” you gasped, eyes lighting up in the process. “That’s why he’s been acting weird,” you added. Hyunjin smiled in approval, “Do something and wipe that pout off his face.”

The car ride back to your dorm was silent. Seungmin kept his eyes on the road, no words were exchanged between the two of you and he clearly showed no effort of doing so any time soon. You’re slowly running out of time as your building came into view a few minutes later. Seungmin slowly stopped the car and got out, he jogged towards your side and opened the door for you.

Go time.

“I’ll text you when I get home,” Seungmin said. His expression was sad but he still managed to give you a kiss on the forehead. He was about to pull away but you prevented him from doing so by holding his face in your hands. You stared at him lovingly, thanking the universe for bringing this man into your life.

“I love you, oppa,” you whispered, but loud enough for him to hear you.

A soft gasp escaped from his lips as his eyes widened, “What did you just call me?”

“Oppa, why?” you giggled and gave his nose a kiss. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel like I’m on top of the world right now, but you never call me that,” Seungmin wondered, his arms now wrapped around your waist, allowing him to pull you closer. “Let’s just say, a little bird told me,” you teased.

“Hwang Hyunjin!”

You laughed, “Don’t get mad at him.”

“Listen,” you called back for his attention, “I don’t call you oppa because I use that on everybody who’s older than me, well close friends of course, but you know what I mean.”

“And you, Kim Seungmin, are not just anybody. You’re my person, my everything, my whole world. You’re special to me and you matter the most,” you explained, pouring your feelings out for the said man. You were about to say more in order to get rid of Seungmin’s doubt, but he cut you off with a kiss.

You guys were practically making out in your dormitory’s parking lot, but it’s the least of your worries right now.

You pulled away first as you tried to catch your breath. “I love you so much, (y/n),” Seungmin confessed, his expression now darker as you witnessed his eyes fill with desire. “And I’ll prove that to you.”

“What do you mean, oppa?”

Seungmin leaned down, his lips dangerously close to your ear. “Don’t test me, baby.”

You whimpered in response, “Do whatever you want. I’m all yours, oppa.”

666 notes · View notes

nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit · 3 years

Text

Star Signs and Loving Gestures

Karmagisa week 2021 day 4 prompt: Stars AKA: stargazing date

wordcount: 1693 (may be posted to AO3 later)

----------------------------------

Karma had thought of pretty much everything. When he’d initially informed Nagisa of the stargazing date he’d planned, he figured it would be a mess like many of their dates ended up being. Something as simple and intimate as stargazing was something that didn’t come natural to Karma and Nagisa. Sure, they’d ended up cuddling together and watching the sky before, but it had been spontaneous, and not the entire date.

Yet, there they were, laying down on a blanket on a small grass field, bodies as close to each other as was possible while still remaining comfortable. Karma had remembered to bring food and drinks, even being so responsible as to make one of those options fruit. Nagisa appreciated that. As nice as unhealthy snacks were, he was the kind of person to eat a lot of fruit just because he enjoyed it. Karma had made fun of him for that before.

“Can you pass me a strawberry?” Karma asked, pointing towards a container just out of his reach.

Nagisa handed it to him with a smile, “Being healthy?”

“No,” Karma scoffed, “I brought nutella to dip it in. Literal heaven.”

Yeah, that was just about what Nagisa expected. It wasn’t like Karma never ate fruit, when it came to strawberries he almost seemed addicted at times, but this wasn’t the time of day for his boyfriend to pull up the healthy options. Nights to Karma Akabane menat snacking and gaming time, where convenience went above health.

It didn’t matter, just meant there was more fruit for Nagisa. And that’s what was most important. Karma had brought it for him. It was nice and considerate of him. He couldn’t help but feel just so happy in that moment, knowing how in love he was with his boyfriend and how much he loved him back, with a nice starry sky to decorate their evening.

“It’s so pretty,” Nagisa sighed, unsure if it was just a thought or something he wanted Karma to know, “yet so simple looking at the same time.”

It was a clear night, warm and comfortable, in the middle of the summer. The day had been terrible, but that was over now. The sun had taken the worst of the heat with it as it had gone down. Now, all was perfect. The star were visible, and Nagisa was comfortable in simple jeans and a t-shirt. He’d brought a jacket, still, just to be sure.

“How cute and romantic would it have been if I looked up romantic stories written in the stars beforehand?” Karma asked, “In the constellations, I mean.”

“But you didn’t?”

“Hell no.”

Nagisa shook his head, laughing ever so slightly. This was just about what he was used to from his boyfriend. Not that he minded, it was part of this very specific charm Nagisa had grown to love. Besides, he’d put in enough effort in planning the rest of the date. He could deal with no romantic stories in the stars.

“I can tell you about zodiac star signs though.” Karma added.

“What?” Nagisa looked confused, “Like when you’re born and stuff?”

“Yeah, well,” Karma shrugged, “I can point some of them out in the sky, if you want.”

It sounded interesting enough to Nagisa. He was a little surprised Karma had done enough stargazing to be able to find the zodiacs. Then again, he did say he could point out “some,” so perhaps he only knew a few. Nagisa wondered which ones he knew.

So, he let Karma talk, point at the sky, and explain which signs were where. It was a little confusing at times. Nagisa recognized a few of them, although he was unable to locate them in the sky himself, but sometimes seeing the patterns in them was a little hard. When Karma was pointing out capricorn, his own birth sign, Nagisa was just full on confused.

“Am I supposed to see a goat in that?” He asked.

“A sea goat, yes.” Karma nodded. The way he said it made it sound like he thought he’d said something logical.

To Nagisa, it had been the furthest off from that. In what universe did the words “sea goat” make sense colloquially? Last Nagisa checked, goats didn’t live in the sea.

“first of all, sea goats aren’t a thing,” Nagisa spoke matter of factly, “Second, that is a triangle.”

Now, Karma shook his head. He rolled his eyes, a gesture Nagisa didn’t appreciate, and then returned looking his boyfriend in the eyes. The look in his eyes was as stupid as his gesture had been. He looked like he was patronizing Nagisa. Nagisa made sure to glare at him in response. That toned down Karma’s expression a little.

“It’s a mythical thing, first of all,” Karma corrected him, “Secondly, it’s a little more abstract than that, wise guy.”

Nagisa still didn’t see it, but he accepted the explanation for now. He wanted to ask what a sea goat was, but he did not want to be patronized again. So, he kept quiet, and looked back up at the stars. All he saw when looking at the capricorn sign was just a triangle. He wondered who ever made up these so-called drawings in the sky. Mentally, he made a note to do some research on it later.

Because it was so late, he had gotten a little tired by that point. It wasn’t like he’d done too much during the day, but he still had been awake for a rather long time. The coziness of cuddling with Karma wasn’t helping that mood. Karma had such a nice and warm body temperature, like a large, personal heater for Nagisa.

He cuddled up a little closer to Karma, resting his head on his shoulders, and grabbed ahold of Karma’s hand with his own. For a moment, time passed in silence, the two of them connected just like that, the sky full of stars watching them. Then, Karma spoke up and ruined what was once a beautiful moment.

“ewl I just realized you’re a cancer.”

Nagisa couldn’t have moved away from Karma faster, moving back so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. Genuine disgust, that’s what he saw. He hadn’t started laughing yet. He’d better start laughing soon. Even if Nagisa didn’t think this was remotely funny, he sure as hell hoped Karma had intended it that way.

“Excuse me?!” Nagisa looked appalled at his boyfriend.

“Your zodiac,” Karma responded, still not laughing, “You’re a cancer.”

The point was, Nagisa knew that. Of course he knew his own zodiac sign. And the problem… Well, the problem was that Karma was saying it like it was a bad thing. Nagisa didn’t think it was. He didn’t see how being a specific zodiac made him a better or a worse person. Karma, however, seemed very opinionated on it, and his opinion didn’t appear to be anything Nagisa would like.

So, he just stared at him for a moment again, unsure what to say about the matter. Then, he shook his head in an attempt to organize his thoughts. He had to ask for more information. There was always a chance he was misinterpreting this. He’d better be misinterpreting it.

“I know that,” Nagisa slowly said. “Now can you tell me why that would be disgusting?”

Karma blinked. He pursed his lips as he scanned Nagisa’s face. Nagisa was sure the annoyance was clearly portrayed there. Whatever Karma was about to say next, it better be thought through very well. Karma seemed to understand that sentiment very well, considering he actually took the time to think about his words before answering the question.

“Cancers are known for being moody and emotional,” Karma finally said, “You know, like, they take stuff very personal.”

“I don’t do that.”

“You’re… literally doing it right now.”

Now, Nagisa was silenced for a moment. Surely he wasn’t making this about himself, Karma was. Karma had started by calling him out for being a cancer. Well, Nagisa himself had been the one to take the comment seriously. And, he himself had been the one to take the description to himself rather than just a stereotype Karma was explaining.

No, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he wasn’t like that. Anyone could be emotional, given the right circumstances. Just because he reacted with a lot of passion, and the moment happened to already be about him personally, didn’t mean he was giving in to stereotypes. A zodiac didn’t define Nagisa.

“They’re also known for being gifted in understanding people’s feelings and thoughts, not too far off from your assassin skills.”

Shit, so maybe Nagisa was a little bit typical for a cancer.

“That stuff is nonsense,” Nagisa argued, “purely coincidental.”

There was a silence, followed by the sound of Karma’s laugh. Nagisa didn’t understand what was funny. What he said had been pretty logical. Whatever star sign you were born in didn’t influence who you were as a person. Nagisa would stand by that argument. Why Karma’s response to that idea was to laugh, was something only Karma could really explain.

“I never said I believed in it,” Karma simply said.

“You sure acted like it,” Nagisa pouted once more, “Your sense of humour is bad.”

Karma simply shrugged, and Nagisa figured he may as well drop the subject. At least now he knew Karma didn’t actually judge him for the day he was born. That would have been a weird argument to ruin a relationship with. He tried to release the issue with a deep sigh, and returned his eyes up to take in the wonders of the sky.

Eventually, Karma forced himself closer to him again, once again taking back the hand Nagisa had ripped away moments earlier. Nagisa let him. He, too, wanted to go back to the more romantic mood they’d been having. Soon enough, he felt like they had gone back to that, and the previous conversation was merely a past joke. The comfort of hugging his boyfriend as they looked at a pretty view made everything much better.

“For what it’s worth,” Karma whispered, “You’re my favourite cancer.”

#KarmagisaWeek21 #Karma Akabane #Nagisa Shiota #karmagisa #karunagi #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #anime #fandom week #ship week #ship #stars

41 notes · View notes

prettywarriors · 3 years

Note

Ok ill bite whats the worst mg series

alright, whats the worst magical girl series in your opinion?

Thanks you two for letting me do some yelling. The obvious guess would likely be one of the recent edgelord shows right? Magical Girl Site or something similar? But nay I say, for while MGS and Day Break Illusion and such and what not generally tell you what to expect right away. Don't like super violence and suffering? Watch something else is the clear message from the get go. One of the bait and switch series then like Madoka or maybe Yuki Yuna? For what faults they may or may not have, at least these series do something and are interesting, even if you're not huge on what goes down in the series. A parody then? They range from affectionate to banned in New Zealand but regardless of quality and their feelings for MGs, it's a parody. It's a joke and shouldn't be taken seriously (plus they're usually short so you can just forget about them forever).

So what makes a series terrible then, I am sure you are asking. IMO? Setting expectations for an interesting and enjoyable series, and then dashing them to hell.

Come with me below the cut, as I talk about Key Princess Story: Kagihime Eternal Alice Rondo!

Spoilers abound so if you care about those for a 15 year old series, click away.

Background: Kagihime was a 4 volume manga that ran from 2004-2006 that was picked up for a 13 episode anime adaptation near the end of its run. The manga is created by a pair (Kaishaku) who you may know for making Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto. Kannazuki no Miko, and Steel Angel Kurumi, and the anime had a script written by the same writer (Mamiko Ikeda) for Tenshi Ni Narumon who also did some script writing for Princess Tutu and Seven of Seven. The anime also had 6 character music videos which are fairly simple but a nice addition to the series for the main girls. Discotek has been publishing the anime in the states in recent years, and the manga was brought over by *squints at book spine* Dr Master Publications.

The Premise: Girls transform and enter weird outside of reality spaces to fight each other with giant keys to take each other’s stories to create a third Alice In Wonderland story.

Well, an off-brand Alice story written by Alternate L. Takion, rather than Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson, that while the series uses all the aesthetic hallmarks of the tradition Alice, the little we see of the in universe Alice story is clearly different. Which is fine, at the end of the day, it’s still about someone who loves the Alice stories and wishes there was more, and even makes his own fanfiction version. His? Oh yeah, while the girls do all the fighting, the main character is Aruto, a teen boy who loves Alice, and for reasons we don’t know till late game, can enter the liminal spaces that the ‘Alice Users’ fight in. He chases a girl who looks like the Alice he sees in his story, who is named Arisu, and gets roped into this fanfic battle royale. He is also the older brother of the very needy Kirihara, who also ends up being and Alice User. As does Kirihara’s bff Kisa. To round out the group of enemies-turned-friends-who-will-work-together-to-collect-the-Eternal-Alice-without-having-to-fight-eachother group is a young genius researcher Kirika who wants to know more about Aruto’s connection that allows him to enter the spaces where the girls fight.

Then there’s all the other girls, some of whom still have real importance to the story and some who have a few panels or 2 scenes total. But with a whole bunch of girls to design, the creators reached out to a whole lot of other people to have them create designs! Eventually the battle gets down to the last few girls, there’s a confrontation with the guy running the whole thing, and while the anime and manga vary quite a bit the whole time, in both version Aruto ends up with Kirihara. Oh and Arisu was created by Aruto’s super imagination powers.

The Promise: Here on is subjective, particularly with what I personally saw as potential from this series. because I need you to understand how much I want to like this series.

~Alice in Wonderland themed: I know some people aren’t alice fans and that’s fine you do you but as a big alice fan this is great. We have a few alice episodes and themed characters amongst series like CCS and MGRP, and even Alice themes in other series like Tweeny Witches and Alice 19th. But damn it I am down for Alice series.

~Giant Keyyyyyyyys: Yeah yeah Kingdom Hearts but these keys are much more staff like for a lot of the characters which ads and air of elegance rather than the KH ones that for me at least feel well designed for big ol props rather than actual weapons. We also get...

~Weapon variety: It counts as a key if it’s a thorn whip that can be shaped like a key right? How about a giant pocket knife? Crossbows can also be keys. Hush. And we have this variety because

~Guest Artists: For magical girl series where we have a variety of outfits designed by different people, we have Kagihime, Uta~Kata, and uhh I guess Magia Record? But that’s a mobile game with a hella number of characters and with how mobile game works I wouldn’t count it just because it’s less the intent of the series to have variety and more the nature of having lots of girls. (Precure doesn’t count because unless I missed a memo each season’s set is still by one designer). If a series isn’t about a team and therefore doesn’t need cohesion, bringing in other artists is a great way for variety and new looks.

~The long term goal: Fighting with other people who love the same piece of media you do in hopes of creating new material that will be viewed as official? That’s just fandom nowadays. But it’s a legitimate interesting concept, and opens up so many doors for a message for the series, be it ‘what you create is no less valuable than the canon work’ or ‘it’s hard to let go when something you love doesn’t have more to it but you can still love it for what it is’ or ‘bond with the people who like the thing you like ya idiot instead of fighting about it’. The concept is interesting and there are so many narrative ways you can take this.

~Gays: Between the anime and manga, we have at least 5 wlw. Is it a magical girl series without some gays? (side note- the manga had a short thing where the MC wears a girl’s uniform and is pretty comfortable in it and while there is no way this was the intent, between that and the emphasis on the stories that live in girls and how the fight zones have no men, I’m just saying, Trans girl Aruto.)

~Greater Fairy Tale Premise: We meet a Little Match Girl based MG who is obsessed with Andersen rather than the Alice books, and touch on a Sleeping Beauty character in the manga. The manga at least implies that classic stories and fairy tale authors uh. Live on in a liminal space as immortals with world warping powers within that world and there could be opportunities for other girls in the real world to fight for Little Mermaid 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The Good: Everything has positive points, no matter how bad it is.

~Character Designs: Some of those looks slap. As do most of their weapons.

~Backgrounds: I have a strong opinion on backgrounds in anime that can be easily boiled down to old watercolor backgrounds good, modern filtered photos as background bad, and as a 2006 series, this might not be Memole nice but they’re quite attractive.

~Splash Pages: Easily my favorite thing after the designs, each chapter’s title page for the manga just has a character standing in a setting. Which is not everyone’s thing I’m sure but it’s a nice simplistic way to let the characters breathe imo. Even if at least some of the settings were deffo traced. But that’s how backgrounds work to some extent? If I ever get to the Met again, I am tracking down this exact photo, but here is a likely candidate for an example.

~Different Versions: I do not understand the need to make an adaptation that tries to be a 1:1. Kagihime had the same ideas and characters and did some of the same beats but very much had a different finale story and a lot of changes in the middle (like the Alice cops in the manga). Again, not something everyone probably wants I’m sure, but I very appreciate this, especially since the Anime kept good pace with the number of Manga chapters (reading the manga again while watching the anime at 3.8x speed just now was very interesting to see the different interpretations of events in a different medium.)

The ‘Fine’: Yeah.

~Anime Visuals: Look 2006 was still early enough into digipaint that I will give it a total pass on these. The colors are too bright but in a very bland way, the lineart is nothing interesting, and the faces are. Iffy. But it’s not total garbage to look at (probably helped by backgrounds and character designs...) it just came out in an era where not enough people knew how to stylize things to account for the weakness of the tools of the time. (It was 4 years earlier but I feel Kagihime is the polar opposite of Chobits with its painfully bland color palette while still being just. Flat. Sorry for the drive by Chii.)

~Music?: There sure were songs. Obviously, they are nothing to me.

The Bad: CW for.... somehow all the big things to an extent.

~Fanservice: Look, I am fine with fanservice, especially for a series that’s, ya know, not targeted at kids, big Mai Hime fan here even if I would recommend skipping the panty thief episode. And honestly the series generally isn’t fanservicey, at least by the modern standards of having the camera choosing under the skirt rather than an over the shoulder shot like I’ve seen plenty in other shows. Even the sexier outfits like the rose whip dominatrix aren’t bad BUT. When the girls fight. One takes her phallic key and drives it into another girls chest between the boobs while the loser cries in pain and then her book comes out and when the victor rips out pages, the loser’s clothes also rip. It is very SuperS Amazon Trio assault metaphor-y. There’s also a bit of fanservice with the sister becauseeeee....

~Incest: If you read the premise up there, first wow good job because I’m sure not re-reading that, you might have noticed I said MC ends up with his sister. As someone who is a big mythology fan and watches plenty of anime, I have a decent tolerance for your obligatory ‘oh we’re siblings but actually cousins so our feelings are okay’ or whatever the fuck Citrus has going on I don’t know that series and I don’t vibe BUT. I have limits and boy did this series go beyond that because multiple episodes are dedicated to the sister being in love with the brother? And the brother returns her feelings but knows that they are wrong so he put everything he likes in his sister into his version of Alice who, of course, physically manifests as Arisu who he creates accidentally with his uh. Magic imagination powers. But again in both versions MC still ends up with his sister. Hey, at least the manga eventually said the boy was adopted when the sister was like, 3, so if nothing else no blood relations? The anime did not ad this. -_-

~Under Utilized Characters: Arisu’s gradual revelation that she has no childhood memories because she isn’t a real person is so interesting and they don’t do nothing with it but also? That’s the kind of thing I personally would love to dig into and Kagihime, while touching on this world shattering revelation, easily loops back to So Anyway She Should Fight For The Man and to hell with developing a life or personality outside of what has been written for her. The rest of the main 5 were 2 note characters which. Could be worse? The most interesting character ends up being the child genius who accidentally murdered her childhood bestie (and/or lover? depending on version) and her coming to terms with that (the friend is alive but the version changes how and why she thinks she’s dead). Then the villain has the motivation of ‘i lost my creativity and now have become an immortal living outside of normal space and am getting girls to fight each other because that’s like a story so I’m still relevant right?’. But shoutout to the anime for then taking death of the author literally. The numerous other girls are canon fodder outside of like. The manga version of the dead gf and the little match girl.

~Battle Royale: This is not a thing I have an issue with generally. Again, but Mai Hime fan, I need to read MGRP 11, BUT by not developing the non-main girls there is no emotional connection which makes them just canon fodder and that’s boring as sin for a royale system. The initial main character fights revolve so much around the MC guy being there that they fall flat, and the 2 or 3 final battles in both versions still feel without any stakes. Also for a royale thing most of the characters don’t actually die, which cool! Neat! Except when they do? Some nobodies and a somebody are murdered (at least in the manga) and the tone never feels like it’s supposed to be upping the stakes, it’s just. Some people are dead now. And do you want to guess which of the main characters died?

~Gays: Oh boy the best friend of the brother-complex sister is in love with her and (in the manga) dies. She does apparently get better for the last chapter but the death itself is only felt by the rest of the cast for a page or two before we go back to feeling sad big brother wants to kiss his mentally generated sister clone rather than his actual sister u_u. Bury your gays is nothing new, but I wonder if it was also intended to be justified because Guess Who Is Creepy and a bit Perverted? Oh look the lesbian keeps the used swimsuit of her beloved and manipulates events to get an indirect kiss and when she sees the sister trying to strange Arisu for a moment she decides to do it for the sister? It’s not good. You want bad gay rep in a magical girl series, well here ya go. We also had a nobody in the first(second?) episode whose story pages reveal her having a kiss with a girl, and then we also have the prodigy again and- in the manga- her. Uh. childhood lover who she thought she killed but the girl has been wiping her mind over and over so prodigy remembers ‘killing’ the friend and not the she’s alive so she can keep? fucking with her? Toxic!

~Sexual Content: But wait you say, you already covered fanservice! Ah but that is sexual content for titilation. This is sexual content for dramatic backstory! The red riding hood character was sexually assaulted, another character was manipulated into sex first as a teen and then more often to ‘get into the publishing industry’, and the same writer forces some aggressive kisses on the MC. None of it is gratuitous which is nice, but also, was it necessary? Not making a new point for this but read riding hood’s dog was also murdered so unnecessary animal death gets tossed on in there.

~Male Lead: You can have a male, non magical character as the main character surrounded by magical girls. This is not how to do it. If I can make a vicious and hopefully not understood reference, Aruto is basically Tate from the Mai Hime Manga. If you understood that, I am so sorry. If you didn’t, congrats! Don’t read the manga. Or do and send me asks about the iconic final page of the first volume (18+). Anyway, this dude is boring, everything revolves around him, BUT I’ll be generous and say at least this isn’t a harem series? It looks like it out of context but it’s just a triangle with a fun attached scientist and token lesbian.

~Premise: They didn’t make good use of it. The initial goals of ‘take other girls pages from their soul books because if we get enough we unlock a third alice book’ is good! And then we add the twist that that was never going to happen and either if we get all the pages we can grant a wish, or these fights are just happening for the amusement of and asshole. Either way, yeah okay I guess. But at no point do we ever achieve this forbidden wish granting book and the asshole just. Lives. Nothing happens to him. His peers don’t even dunk on him. The only real changes from the beginning and the end of the series are: the siblings are now chill with dating, and the scientist lady won’t turn into a child in magical spaces. Oh. Yeah.

~Why did we make this adult a child sometimes?: I think we know why. Stop trying to get those types of folks to watch your already meh series. I also could have sworn at points in the past looking up images for this series I’ve seen extra art for Yuuri the Thumbelina-y Alice User that seemed like it would fit alongside anything by POP. You know, the Moetan guy. If you don’t know, god I wish that were me.

Wrap Up: I have definitely forgotten some points and am well within my rights to ad to this whenever I remember more points but uh. Yeah.

Listen you want an alice themed battle royale with nice outfits? Rozen maiden is right there. Battle Royale magical girl series that’s good with fanservice? Mai Hime. Series with different outfits while being based on a classic story? Pretear.

Hope anyone who read all of this at least got what I was saying, even if they don’t agree with it. And thanks for reading because whoops.

#why do ya'll let me write so damn many words #thanks ya'll for letting me write so many words #kagihime eternal alice rondo #long post #text #not fashion #whoops 3k words

42 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 4 years

Note

outta curiosity, why do you think the bugs are human-y sized? i've seen that portrayal fairly often in fandom, but it never occurred to me during my own playthrough b/c of things like the weapons all being things like "Nails" and "Needles" (plus Cloth's huge fang club) which feel... like they're supposed to /seem/ small, if that makes sense.

Kind of a complicated web of reasons, some in-universe, some out.

The first thing I’m going to say is that I agree with you in that there is something that “feels small” about Hollow Knight’s world. When a friend of mine, @betterbemeta played the game, they spoke a bit about a “microscopic aesthetic” that they chalked to things like the amount of detail in the backgrounds. At the size we’re used to seeing the world, dirt is just dirt. From an insect’s eye view, however, individual grains are visible to a much greater degree.

This very granular nature fills the world. Nothing has the anonymity of just being dirt- it’s all shells or fossils or bits of stone and sand and glass. Our relationship with the world is intimate. We are shown spaces and the vastness of them looms, daunts. So I don’t for a second resent the impression that the scale of the world “feels small”.

What does bug me, if you’ll pardon the pun, is trying to add humans into this world as some kind of vast upper limit. Because while they wield pins and needles, nails and shears... these are not scavenged objects. This is not Pikmin. The nail is called such, but it is never a nail as we would recognize, designed to be hammered into an object. The bugs of Hallownest mine materials, and forge them into shapes that are engineered and worked artistically. The Nailsmith has spent much of his life obsessively honing his craft.

It feels arrogant, when there is no human presence in the game, to automatically slot us in an imagined supergiant slot that would trivialize the game and everything narratively important about it. It feels even more arrogant to suggest an independent culture that never shows any evidence of being dependent on humans is whimsically plucking our door nails for funny little bug sword duels, rather than that they have a culture of forging and carving their own weapons, tailored to their needs, without “divine inspiration” from anything bigger than it except its gods, which are themselves entities not in the likeness or shape of humans.

For me, I feel like it operates much better to presume Hollow Knight’s world is comparable to Nausicaa’s- it is a land of giants, rather than a land of the diminutive. A world that, if we or creatures like us were walking them, we would walk alongside Ghost, these same roads and highways, and would have this same experience of being dwarfed by the vastness of the space. I feel like if you really want to imagine humans in this world, either explicitly or for a sense of scale- we’d be on the level of the setting’s bugfolk.

Another thing worth noting is that this world is also very alien. Far moreso than, say, Pikmin, a game that does feature tiny aliens on a post-apocalyptic earth, where we can recognize much of the world and its shape even if the creatures now inhabiting it are strange. In Hollow Knight, the world is strange in its beauty and savagery. It’s really not like ours. The larger things get, the weirder they get. There’s almost no indication of mammalian life, or even, besides the bug-people having some recognizable species among them like moths, butterflies, cicadas, bees- creatures that we recognize. God Tamer is either an ant or a cockroach most likely, but her steed was originally conceptualized as a lobster- and it is an eight-eyed, quadrupedal creature with a filter-feeder mouth, large horns, an expanding translucent dewlap and neither claws nor long tail to speak of, so Team Cherry has actively avoided putting “normal creatures” in there.

This setting has a particular logic about creatures. Everything is translated through that lens, so things we would recognize come out distinctly different, and the general thrust is ‘more like a bug’. So to me, that precludes the intrigue of humans, because we have what humans would look like, with concession made to these strange rules.

They’re the characters we already see and interact with.

I dislike the idea of towering humans, because to me, the sapient bugs of Hallownest so clearly are the humans. I feel like this is a world on a divergent planet. There’s no apes for humans to come from, or monkeys to grow into apes, or even mammals for monkeys to come from- everything is bugs, so the sapient creatures come from bugs. Quirrel, in the prequel comic, even briefly holds a much smaller crawling insect and muses how it and he have similar shells, and, yet, are fundamentally dissimilar creatures. Another narrative could very easily transcribe a similar moment between a human researcher and an orangutan he spots in the bushes.

So this compels me to, in crossover contexts, put the bugs as close to humans. I feel like this is a beautifully constructed and deeply alien world, and there’s so little to gain and so much to carelessly bulldoze by adding in a sense of scale that allows us to just ignore so much of the strangeness and force our own ordinary world over it. I don’t have this problem putting in other giant or strange forces in the setting- I’d be super up to colossal forests of giant trees as a level or scene in a fanwork, for example.

But I guess that’s what turns me off of a lot of things like the bug tank AUs- the humans’ presence and society feels like a way to not just put what’s familiar to us in there, but in such a way that invalidates the refreshing novelty of the world around it. There’s no stated upper limit to Radiance’s powers- there’s nothing she can’t infect merely because it’s too large. So putting her in a glass tank wouldn’t negate her. If it was that easy to stop her, PK wouldn’t be driven to desperation and have committed a staggering amount of esoteric sin on his own children trying to find a way. It immediately undermines character plots and motivations.

Suggesting that the bugs are living borrower-style among humans and making use of their technology, likewise, cheapens the plot of the Nailsmith and his obsession, one that is shared by many, or, in the Silksong demo, Forge-Daughter’s “ancient line and honored role”.

Now, I have seen borrower-style stories and loved them! I was massively obsessed with the movie 9 when it came out, which featured tiny cloth dolls (the largest of them could be held easily in one hand by a human) surviving in an apocalyptic wasteland, and they utilized pieces of human technology cobbled together into ingenious new forms. But the thing about Hollow Knight, is it is not that world. Some weapons are large, almost oversized for their wielders- but they were still built with those wielders in mind, by other bugs, using designs developed by bugs.

Cloth’s club doesn’t really refute this by being a tooth broken from a larger creature, either- the temple of the black egg is made either from, or in the likeness of, the hollowed shell of a truly gargantuan creature.

This world has some very big things. I feel like thinking of humans as ‘the giants’ in this setting vastly underestimates the world. That somewhere in Cloth’s journey- and somewhere accessible to the kingdoms’ guards that became Husk Guards- there were vast cadavers with teeth that could be harvested is explained handily on its own by the idea that this is a world partially populated by giants- giants that play by the same lovely arthropod sensibilities of the more regular-sized denizens.

Another exciting thing worth noting is that there are ribs and spines all over this world! If these guys were truly on the scale of ordinary bugs, they wouldn’t need them- their exoskeletons would do all the supporting for them. But these guys are big enough to need at least vestigial endoskeletons. The implications of the remains that we see don’t exactly show us arm or leg bones, but rather intact limb exoskeletons. So these guys would have more complicated organs and more bones, that a bigger creature would need, but something the size of a realistic our-world ant would not.

#Hollow Knight #Silksong #readmore #thethrillof

231 notes · View notes

phantom-curve · 3 years

Text

did I shatter you? pt.3

part one: you’re not my homeland anymore | part two: when a good man hurts you | part three: there’s an ache in you, put there by the ache in me | part four: my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand | epilogue: what died didn’t stay dead

They rode the train together in silence. Side by side, leaning into each other occasionally when their car screeched around a corner. They held hands in the yellow light of the Barclays Stadium stop as they transferred from the Q to the D, and still they didn’t talk. It was another silent agreement to pause their conversation for now. They had broken through the first heavy layer of their past. They needed a safer harbor if they were going to keep digging. When Julie had shyly mentioned the apartment, she had seen the way Luke’s eyes lit up and then watched him immediately feel the devastating blow of realizing she had kept both of the homes they had shared. It was only minutes later that they were walking to the subway stop on Ocean Parkway, fingertips brushing every few steps.

The snow had stopped by the time they were climbing the steps to the West 4th Street exit. A thick blanket of white covered the ground, muffling the normal sounds of the city. Julie felt as if the universe had created this quiet cocoon just for the two of them. Their footsteps crunched in perfect synchronization as they made their way to Cornelia Street. The nondescript brownstone walkup came into view sooner than anticipated. Julie fumbled for a moment, frozen fingers struggling to jam her key into the old lock. Luke’s hand covered hers, slipping the key in easily and opening the door with a slight jiggle.

“I don’t know why this door always fights you so hard.”

The low words were murmured directly into her ear, his breath sending shivers down her spine. He was right. She had always struggled with this lock, Luke usually letting her try and fail for a few minutes before taking over and opening it in one try. The intimate reminder of the life they once shared sent a wave of longing through her. They stumbled inside together, shedding wet layers in the darkened entryway. Luke switched the light on before Julie could get to it. He sucked in a breath as the apartment was illuminated. She avoided his gaze, focusing on her shoelaces. She knew what he was seeing. This was her apartment now, hers alone, but it looked the exact same as when it had been theirs.

She had made changes to the LA house, had needed to do something to get rid of the overwhelming Lukeness of the space. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to erase him from the apartment though. She didn’t spend much time here anymore, the odd weekend when she was passing through on tour or flying in for various press engagements. It wasn’t the same sanctuary it had once been. There were too many quiet memories etched into the creaky floorboards, too many happy scenes soaked into the wallpaper. She would never be able to remove his presence here, so she had simply embraced it instead. It was the one self-inflicted torture she allowed herself to indulge in. She didn’t let herself ask Alex and Reggie for updates. Didn’t allow her fingers to type his name into any search engines. When the longing became too sharp, she simply came here and escaped into what they used to have until the pain dulled. Clearly, Luke hadn’t expected this type of time capsule to be hidden inside.

Julie skirted around Luke’s frozen form, eyes bouncing around to look anywhere but him. She wandered into the kitchen, desperate for something to do with her hands, needing some type of busyness to keep her from throwing herself at Luke. They weren’t done talking, had barely scratched the surface. She couldn’t just jump back into him without overcoming the demons that had been determined to push them apart. Not if this was going to be anything more than a single night of closure. Julie was desperate for it to be something more. Her bones practically ached with the yearning.

She flicked the flame on underneath the kettle, reaching on her tip toes for her favorite mug from the cabinet next to the stove. A larger, longer arm shot above hers, easily plucking the ceramic from the shelf. His body heat pressed in against her back and Julie fought to keep her breath steady. He reached one shelf lower to pull down her favorite box of chamomile tea and the honey pot she kept next to it. His muscles shifted and flexed, the sight sending a hot wave through her body. He reached further back into the cabinet, frowning down at her when he couldn’t locate the other mug that used to live there. Julie felt her cheeks flame.

“There were some things that didn’t survive the breakup.” She mumbled cryptically, ducking underneath the cradle his arms had created.

She avoided his eyes, remembering the first time she had returned to the apartment after losing Luke. She had cried until there were no tears left, curled into a ball in the entryway as she stared at the dirty Vans he had left behind. There had been small little bits of him scattered throughout the entire space, like Easter eggs designed specifically to break her heart. She had torn through the apartment like a whirlwind, throwing every last scrap of it into a trash bag, ripping half written songs to shreds, smashing his favorite mug against the wall in the kitchen hard enough she had needed to repair a small dent left behind. It was only when she noticed how the shattered porcelain had left little pinpricks of blood on her bare feet that she had been brought back to herself. There was no undoing the damage. Truly numb for the first time since she had left Luke on the boardwalk, Julie had bandaged her cuts, swept the mess into the overflowing bag and stuffed the entire thing in the dumpster in the side alley. It had been the last time she’d let herself go to pieces over Luke.

“You painted that mug for me for our one-year anniversary.”

Luke’s voice was broken. Julie didn’t have to look to see hurt on his face, she could hear it in his words. The kettle screamed a shrill whistle as the water boiled. Julie grabbed a plain black mug from a different cabinet, dropping a tea bag into each cup before filling them with the hot water. She kept her face down, shrouded behind the steam.

“You didn’t take it with you when you left.”

He hadn’t taken any mementos. The apartment had looked the exact same as the morning they had left it when she returned over a month later. There had still been dirty breakfast dishes in the sink.

“I didn’t think...that wasn’t supposed to be the end.”

Julie nearly dropped the kettle in surprise. Hands shaking, she forced herself to place it safely back down on the stove before turning to face him. His eyes were swimming with regret, body bowed inward as if someone had sucker punched him. He looked completely lost.

“Luke...”

She tried to keep her voice soft. It was obvious he wasn’t faking his reaction. Clearly, this was yet another miscommunication that could be added to the mess that was the end of their relationship.

“You...didn’t think that was the end? After what you said? After almost a year of trying and failing to be what you needed?”

He was staring at her like she was challenging everything he had ever believed to be true. Julie felt the crack in her heart twinge.

“Was I just supposed to stick around as your punching bag forever?”

He staggered back a step as if her words had hit him with a physical blow. She wanted to cry. God, what an absolute disaster. So many crossed wires and not enough grace for each other had led them to this place where they were both adrift in a sea of misunderstanding and hurt. It was ironic that the one person who had known every last inch of her now stood before her as an almost stranger.

She forced herself to return to the comfort of preparing their tea. She scooped twice as much honey into her mug, added a splash of milk to Luke’s. She told herself it was so Luke could have a chance to process, not so that she could work on clearing the lump from her own throat. She kept her eyes away from his face, unable to handle the destruction taking over his features. Mugs in hand, she left the kitchen and moved into the living room. The fireplace roared to life with the flick of a switch, the mugs placed on opposite ends of the coffee table as Julie curled herself into the corner of the couch, eyes unseeing as she stared at the flames dancing before her.

“Did you really think I only saw you as a punching bag?”

Luke had finally appeared in the doorway leading from the kitchen. Julie let out a small sigh of relief. His voice was a bit stronger, not the same defeated whisper as before. She could see he had made some sort of peace with the situation, even if the hurt was still raw behind his eyes. Then his words sunk in and she flinched away from the memories. She reached out to pull her mug close, needing the burn in her hands to keep her centered, needing the extra shield between the two of them. She cleared her throat delicately, refusing to let herself lean into the swell of emotions. She stared down at the liquid in her mug, trying and failing to keep her voice even.

“You quite literally told me that my work was less than yours. You made me feel like I was less than you. You found flaws in everything I did, Luke. Of course, I felt like a punching bag. It didn’t take long to figure out that I wasn’t the one you were really mad at. Bobby wasn’t around for you to take it out on, and you couldn’t hurt the boys like that, but for some reason I was fair game. At first, I rationalized it by telling myself that meant you loved me the most. That you were the cruelest to me because you felt the safest with me. I accepted that position like some dumb ass martyr, thinking it was proof of how much I loved you. I loved you so much I would bleed for you over and over.”

Tear drops plinked into her tea. It was the only sound in the room, even the snap of the fire dying down for the moment. She finally looked up to see Luke, still hovering in the doorway, staring at her like he had never seen her before.

“One day, I woke up and realized I had bled myself dry. I didn’t have anything left to give and you kept trying to take. I couldn’t live like that anymore. I cannot believe you thought I would stick around after that fight in Coney Island. What did you expect me to do?”

Her voice echoed in the quiet space like the closing of a tomb, low and haunted. For one second there was absolute stillness.

“I didn’t think you would just leave!”

Luke exploded, springing into the room with an uncontrollable burst of energy. It was his turn to pace now, hands moving a mile a minute as he stalked back and forth in front of her.

“Jesus, Jules, I came back here to wait for you, to talk it out, and you just never came home! I finally realized all of your most important shit was gone so I booked a red eye to LA, but when Reggie and Alex came to get me from the airport they wouldn’t let me go to the house. I thought you would come to me when you were ready, so I kept waiting and waiting and you just never showed!”

His movements were becoming more frantic, arms waving around erratically, hands fisting and tugging at his hair. Tears he hadn’t even noticed streamed down his cheeks.

“When the boys came home with my stuff and told me that you said it was over I thought I was going to die. Then Andi sent us a new contract and said you had left the band and I knew it was real. I didn’t...I never...I thought you broke up with me.”

The chasm stretched open between them again. It felt insurmountable. Julie wrapped her arms around herself, drawing her knees close to her chest, shrinking further into the corner of the couch. Luke was breathing hard, staring at her with heartbroken eyes that begged her to tell him his version of events was accurate, begged her to release him from the torture of knowing he had been the catalyst to end it all. Julie could do nothing more than cry harder.

“I waited for you to come home in LA. I told Lex and Reg that I couldn’t keep being the one to go back. I couldn’t keep accepting blame for things I didn’t do.”

Frustration burned in her gut, sharpening her words. Of course, he had expected her to be the one to bridge the gap, apologize and smooth the fight over. But she hadn’t started it. And she hadn’t thrown out daggers disguised as words in any of their wars. Those attacks were Luke’s alone.

“Why would I go back to someone that kept throwing me in the trash? You started that fight. You started every fight. Why was it my responsibility to bandage my own wounds and then apologize like I had caused them in the first place? That was all you, Luke. You didn’t even see it.”

Just like when they had been sitting on that snowy bench earlier, she watched the fight drain out of him instantaneously. He dropped to the carpet in a messy heap, burying his face in his hands. Muffled sobs echoed in the room, his back shaking from the effort. She ached to go to him, wrap her arms around his shoulders, offer him whatever comfort she could. She forced herself to stay seated. This was the reckoning Luke needed to have. If they were ever going to move past this he had to recognize the ways he had hurt her. The universe had brought him back to her, forced him to be the one to show up for once. It was in his hands now to repair that damage. Heart throbbing, she sat and waited, just like she had a year ago.

27 notes · View notes

ears-awake-eyes-opened · 4 years

Text

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes — my first impressions

(I’ve shared my thoughts and feelings about the book in the spoilers chat group, but I’ve waited awhile as a courtesy before posting them on my blog. The book has been out for over a month now so ***TBOSAS spoilers ahead***. These musings are not particularly organized and are a bit rambling and repetitive.)

***

I read the book over the course of 3 days, and then recovery afterward took several days beyond that. I love the disturbing coming of age tale that Suzanne Collins has crafted for Snow. Everything she wrote for him was trauma-informed. He experienced the severe early life attachment trauma of losing both parents between ages 3-7, which is old enough to have developed the capacity for love because he received that from his mother, and young enough for the severity of the trauma to be difficult to impossible to integrate, especially in an environment of poverty, hunger, manipulation and deception to hide the family misfortune. He spent his whole life trying to control the chaos which was really just trauma on repeat within himself. This showed up as perfectionism in school and ambition for more than survival. He was the ideal candidate to be groomed by Dr. Gaul. Under all those conditions, the kid didn’t really have the capacity to become anything other than a tyrant.

I enjoyed the unfolding of his relationship with Lucy Gray. I felt the intensity between them (trauma bond), and I felt their mutual recognition in 12 that the intensity didn’t mean they were compatible. The running off together near the end was a last-ditch effort for both of them at survival. If they hadn’t found the guns and actually had run north, then in time they probably would have abandoned one another, since they wanted opposite things: safety and control VS freedoms and song. In a short time I believe they would have resented and detested each other. 18 years old was too late for him. His patterns were already well established.

I think SC showed us every ounce of fluff that Snow had in him. There just wasn’t much fluffiness to work with. The book ended with me believing he had a capacity for love; he wasn’t a psychopath just a deeply traumatized person. I think it’s telling how in the middle he said something like, “I think she (Lucy Gray) may be in love with me.” Rather than, “I think I may be in love with her.” In that relationship he felt excitement within idealization which faded in reality and would have moved toward increasing disgust toward her if the ending had played out differently. It’s hard to have fluff when the characters motivations are self-centered. The opposite of Katniss and Peeta whose relationship unfolded as they were both trying to protect others. Snow felt as much for Lucy Gray as his capacity allowed, but the chaos in feeling and in relationship was the opposite of what he wanted for his life. When he started being irritated with song, that was ultimate sign of death for that relationship. Lucy Gray WAS song. And beyond the idealization phase he would have detested her.

The plot was so thick with characters and details. SC used 3rd person perspective for this one but it wasn’t omniscient. We only got to see through Snow’s eyes. I enjoyed those moments that felt more fluffy where we saw clearly the complexity of his character and humanity. This really is a coming of age story. He’s becoming the man he already is. Gaul’s influence was the clincher. She was a predator and manipulated Snow on the path he actually wanted most. I feel for him. Throughout the book and still. I even feel now for the tyrant he becomes. That’s masterful writing right there.

I like how in the end Snow vowed to marry someone he didn’t love, recognizing that love was too chaotic. I’m thrilled that Lucy Gray added verses to the hanging tree song for him and then all those years later Katniss sang those verses. I love all the insight into Snow’s obsessive hate for Katniss, not just everything she stood for but also everything she reminded him of that couldn’t be controlled. I like understanding how Snow grew his affinity for using poison. I believe he’s haunted his whole life by the memory of Lucy Gray, but he flips it around in his mind that he controls the haunting. Maybe he eventually poisons his wife because he grows tired of sharing space with someone he doesn’t care about and doesn’t desire possession of. He’d justify the killing of course, like with all the killings. Self-justification and execution will only get easier for Snow as time goes on, especially under Dr. Gaul’s tutelage/mind-control.

My favorite aspect of this book was SCs willingness in this sociopolitical climate to make bold statements about the value of freedom and its ability to endure as a human quality despite years of tyrannical control and propaganda. I view her as a hope-giver. Her writing is courageous. I felt deeply for young Snow, even knowing how his story would play out. The predictability of the novel was my only complaint. After reading a couple of chapters I said to my daughter, “I think Lucy Gray will win the Games and then Snow will end up killing her.” When Gaul showed up, I said to my husband, “She’s going to groom him. She’s going to manipulate him and in the process turn him from a manipulator into a master manipulator.” Done. Possibly done. And done. I like the idea that Lucy Gray lives on and makes a free life for herself. I like that Snow would be eaten alive his whole life by that possibility which is beyond his control.

I mentioned in a previous post that the conversation between Snow and Lucy Gray about safety and control vs freedom and song is the most important conversation of our time, and SC has solid guts to acknowledge that freedom will endure long after the Capitol is gone. And the conversation ended there. Because it’s the deep truth about humanity that propaganda is designed to fool us into not believing: People are fundamentally enduring whether or not they have the “protection” of government control. I was beyond thrilled to read that conversation in YA novel because it’s fringe now to speak this truth openly and her readership is gigantic. I loved watching the connection between Snow and Lucy Gray begin to disintegrate in this mutual understanding that they wanted different worlds, and the world that they each wanted was fundamentally appalling to the other, regardless of those moments when they felt an aliveness in each other’s presence , the kind of aliveness that’s always present in the idealization phase of a trauma bond.

This book was so raw in its presentation of starvation in the Capitol, cannibalism, the Snow’s salvation in those awful lima beans. All the pressures that would drive a young person to grow to detest chaos and wild. This lineage of trauma in the Capitol informs my understanding not just of old tyrant Snow, but the other Capitol characters. And makes the likes of Cinna and Cressida and Plutarch all the more awesome to have chosen a different path. Even Effie who is so much about control and appearances in this singularly thinking way ultimately sees through the veil and understands this kind of control is a profound injustice. I view the book as a prequel in that it’s so intimately connected to the series of 3 and makes those characters, plots, settings, and other details so much more rich. It’s been years since I last read the books. I’ll do so again next time with more clarity.

Dark novel. Not graphic, but oozing with the darkness of humanity. It’s great, and I’m not sure I can ever read it again. There’s so much real. Though I’d LOVE to see it on film. It would be easily translatable to a couple of screenplays. They’d need to cast a Lucy Gray who can sing well and act even better, and a Snow who can carry both the film and carry a tune but without the quality of a professional singer.

I didn’t expect to feel so deeply for young Snow. SC is deep into midlife, and she knows real shit about trauma. She is able to convey it to a YA audience without being overly graphic or disturbing — unless people are ready to be wholeheartedly disturbed. There were a few plot points that felt contrived, like housing tributes in the monkey enclosure, otherwise this book was smashing. I know this because days later I was still smashed. I’m recovered now and ready to reread The Hunger Games trilogy.

I can’t see myself writing TBOSAS fanfiction, but I feel like the bit of writing I do about that universe has already been influenced by the prequel.

#tbosas spoilers #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #suzanne collins #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #hunger games musings #childhood trauma #trauma bonding #attachment trauma #freedom vs safety #chaos

104 notes · View notes

vicecityhq · 3 years

Photo

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games. With a slight resemblance to HAN JISUNG of/the STRAY KIDS.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Nam Jaejin ALIAS: Crypto Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 21 Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000 Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: He/him, they/them Species: Cyborg Occupation: Bookkeeper of the Howlers, university student, hacker Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Tan Eye color: Brown, with a blue/purple tint at times Scars: Surgery scars where his enhancements have been added; in his right arm and chest area. Piercings: Right eyebrow, both earlobes Tattoos: When he is not actively using his enhancements, the mechanical arm silhouette on his right arm resembles a tattoo. (x) Hair color: Currently black with white highlights. Abnormalities: Added technological right arm and metallic elements to the right side of his chest. these enhancements affect most of his body/internal system as well (namely his lungs). he has human brains, but they are affected by the technorganic physiology as well. Horns/ wings/ etc: none Transformed form: His technological arm mostly looks like a tattoo to someone who doesn’t know any better. While actively using his abilities, his right arm and chest begin to glow with a blue/purple light and resemble more of a robotic arm/chest. This glow might affect his eyes as well.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Raised Catholic, later turned atheist SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Korean (native, dialectal at times), English (mostly fluent), Latin (basics) SECRETS: He has been behind a lot of major hackings towards the government/other significant parties during the last few years. Jaejin will usually attempt to blend in with “normal” humans and civilians, trying to hide both his cyborg-ness as well as his gang affiliation. SAVVIES: Technology, computer science, hacking, mathematics, video games, planning Powers & Abilities: Technorganic physiology, technology manipulation Traits: + quick-witted - aloof Aesthetics: Flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000

Date of Death: -

Crime Record: Multiple hackings against many different significant figures/parties, as well as countless smaller hackings. Involvement in gang activities, mostly relating to fundings. He hasn’t been found guilty for any of these crimes yet, but he is also aware that his record might not stay clean forever.

Background/Biography:

Born to a wealthy upper-class family in Busan during a cold January, Jaejin was, at first, anything like most kids. He had a younger sister. He had loving parents (albeit ones who had their expectations raised sky-high from the very beginning). And he had a few people around him he could even call friends. The kid was a little shy, a little nerdy, but nothing short of pure and kind towards the ones he cared about. His childhood was a little uneventful, but a happy one regardless.

Jaejin was nearing the age of ten when the unfortunate accident occurred. It was a dark October evening, heavy rain making it nearly impossible to see clearly. Jaejin was returning home from a friend’s house, hurrying down the street as the rain continued to increase. The kid decided to cross the street, thinking of the Nintendo Gameboy console waiting for him at home. The sound of brakes screeching against the wet asphalt made him halt where he stood. It was all blinding light and the loud howling of a truck’s horn before everything went black.

Jaejin barely survived the hit, perhaps by some miracle. What didn’t survive was the majority of his right arm. Most of his chest was looking quite vile too, having endured a hit that no human tissue really could. Some of his organs, namely his lungs, were damaged nearly beyond repair. He was barely breathing, only making it with the help of the beeping machines of the hospital. Jaejin’s parents, shocked and shaken up by the whole thing, quickly began to pull strings and search for methods for him to make it. It was a question of any means at that point. A decision that they would perhaps come to regret later.

The boy was taken to a private clinic that specialized in cybernetic surgeries. It was supposed to be just about repairing the parts of him that no longer worked as well as life required. But Jaejin’s surgeon was a charismatic man of science, and was able to convince the higher class family that some small enhancements to his body wouldn’t hurt. The Nam family was eminently very unaware of the lengths that some cybernetic surgeons went in the name of science and test-runs. So when Jaejin awoke some twenty hours later, he was no longer the same boy at all.

It wasn’t evident, at first. But over the years it became apparent that something had shifted after the surgery. The once very warm boy became aloof, often struggling to empathize with people. In turn he became intelligent in a way he necessarily wasn’t before. Jaejin's emotions weren’t completely shut-off by any means. He felt things, sometimes even strongly, but not always in the way others expected him to. And the boy was ashamed and alone with his thoughts. It wasn’t until years later, during his high school years, that Jaejin discovered the things that he was actually capable of. Accessing and controlling different technological components became something Jaejin got kicks out of, a different kind of excitement filling him for the first time after the enhancement surgery. And so what if hacking things was illegal? It enabled Jaejin to have control and power. It enabled him to have pride in himself.

After high school, once Jaejin had already enrolled in university to study computer engineering, an acquaintance approached him after a mathematics class. Even at first glance the young man could tell that the things he was about to be told were not something he could tell anyone else. He was asked to follow the man to a place he would later know to be the Howler’s headquarters. His skills and savvies were something they took interest in. And though Jaejin was nothing short of unsure about the offer, he figured he could stay around for a while. Even if only to help the gang with their poor money management skills out of pure curiosity.

So that was what Jaejin became – a gifted, witty student by day, and a hacker and gang member by night. He had gone by the codename Crypto even before affiliating himself with the Howlers, so it was natural that he also used that alias in his gang endeavors. Jaejin, having taken distance from his family a long time ago, was surprisingly willing to be included in a gang of all things. Maybe it was the things the gang did and provided him with that gave him a sort of thrill and excitement otherwise lacking in his life. Or maybe being a part of a group made him feel a little bit more human again.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

Jaejin was, for the lack of a better word, in quite a robotic state.

Again, it wasn’t that the man didn't feel anything at the question. Sure he did: he felt annoyance at the fact that he had to be sitting there, in the police station, when he could be tackling his microcomputer architecture project due in a few days. But Jin also knew that it wasn’t really the typical emotion to be feeling while being questioned by an officer. Especially not if you were innocent (and he was, technically speaking).

“It all happened so fast”, he said instead. He was trying to summon some feelings of shock and maybe even sorrow. Jaejin knew those to be the typical feelings of a civilian witnessing a gunfight, after all. Except in this case it was more of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not so much the fact that he hadn’t seen it before. It had been people from the Howlers, though; a fight against some other gang members (for reasons the man frankly didn’t know). And Jaejin had just happened to be there as the police cars arrived with sirens howling.

He wasn’t going to say any of that though. Jaejin wasn’t about to snitch on his gang members, not if he had nothing to fear. And as far as he knew, none of the scouts involved had actually been caught. The police had nothing on the situation. So he continued to speak in a manner that, in hindsight, was probably too calm for someone who didn’t know anything. This might come and bite him back at some point. “All I know that there were people in black, many of them. I didn’t really see their faces, probably a gang or something. Suddenly there was a loud noise of gunfire and that’s the part where I ran to the back of the warehouse.” Out of nowhere, Jaejin felt actual emotions surging to the surface. “I was... afraid”, he whispers in a small voice, “I didn’t want to get hurt. To die.”

Except it wasn’t really his own life he was afraid for. Jaejin found himself back in the situation, the same emotions rushing through him. He was afraid for them. For his own gang members. For better or for worse, the people who accepted him when no one else had. For the first time in a long time, Jaejin was afraid of losing someone (not that he would admit it out loud, though).

#vcaccepted #vchowler #han jisung #stray kids #krp #finally got another bot boy ;-;#@david

3 notes · View notes

kindofcashton · 4 years

Text

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕 • chapter 15 (Calum Hood AU)

HANNAH AND I must have toured a dozen apartments the next day. We started early in the morning and went all the way through lunch, looking at a bunch of cramped and overpriced places in the city. Even though I wasn’t entirely on board with the idea of moving out, I thought it couldn’t hurt to look. She’d found a bunch of places online and we started ticking them off our list, noting what we liked and didn’t like about each one. Hannah was way more into it than I was, carrying around a small notebook that she scribbled little details into to keep track of our findings.

As I walked through the next apartment, taking in the chipped painted brick and scuffed flooring, I felt what little enthusiasm I had waning even more. While Hannah made a good point that we were both in a place to move out, I still couldn’t pass up the luxury of living back at the house where I didn’t pay rent. Even with my job I’d only just managed to pay off the pipe damages at my old house, and my bank account was tight. I could make it work with some budgeting, but I hadn’t planned on doing that until I absolutely had to.

“Isn’t this natural light great?” Hannah commented, motioning to the big windows taking up the majority of one wall. They provided nice lighting, but I noted the ugly view of a back alley. Not to mention the city was never asleep, so even at night the room would be lit up from outside activity.

“And this couch is just adorable,” Hannah added, patting the cushion of an odd, modern-looking pea green sofa. I rolled my eyes.

“The furniture isn’t included here, Han. Shouldn’t that be written in your little notebook?” She frowned at my statement, and flipped through the pages of her book before sighing.

“Look, I know most of these places are kind of shitty, but at least we’d be living together. Think about it; two best friends living in the city and paving our way through the world. Things might be sucking right now, but we just gotta make lemonade out of lemons, right?”

I chuckled at her joke, and imagined that life in my head. Admittedly, it did seem nice. Living independently, working for a future, maybe even going to school again. The me from a few months ago would jump at this chance, but I was a different girl now. Things changed, one of the biggest being Calum. I didn’t know what our relationship was, but I knew we’d never have a chance to figure it out if I left. I wasn’t ready to sacrifice him, even if it meant facing some challenges.

When Hannah proposed we move on to the next apartment, I begged her to let us take a break since I was ravenous with hunger and it was well past lunchtime. She conceded, and we put our mission on hold to grab a bite to eat. Touring would take up the rest of the day, which was a good thing considering we didn’t want to go home until absolutely necessary. We never quite knew what we’d be walking into.

As we ate our salads at a little outdoor, I remembered something Hannah had said a few weeks ago. “Hey Han, remember when you told me all that stuff about soulmates?”

She lowered her fork and scowled. “Yeah, what a load of crap that turned out to be.”

I frowned. “It wasn’t crap. Didn’t you say that even if you and Ashton weren’t together, you were still meant to be?”

“I don’t know, I know I said that, but...” Her eyes filled with pain at the mention of her ex. “Soulmates don’t do this shit to each other, right?”

She had a good point, but I also knew that their problems had arisen from a place of love. Ashton was just hurt by her lying, which he could only feel if he really loved her. With the right apologies they could move past it, if what Hannah had said was true. Soulmates should be able to overcome anything.

“I didn’t really get it before, but now I believe it. You still should, too.” Her eyebrows raised at my words, intrigued.

“What, is Nick your soulmate or something?” Hannah joked, causing me to bite my cheek as I forced a smile. I was actually thinking of Calum, even though I definitely didn’t consider us soulmates. It just seemed like the universe wanted us together more than we did, and that had to be some sort of sign.

“No, not yet at least,” I bluffed. “I’ve just been thinking about it lately, what with everything going on. It’s comforting to have something to believe in when everything else is failing.”

She nodded, biting her thumb as she became lost in thought. Hannah had her own inner battles to wage, probably similar to the ones I had about Calum. I knew avoiding them was not the right way to handle our problems, but the thought of walking into yet another storm at home discouraged me.

We finished our tours well into the evening, finding each apartment pretty much identical to the last. I made an effort to point out the ones I preferred, just so Hannah saw I was trying a little bit. I made no promises to actually sign any dotted lines, but just saying I would think about it was enough to satisfy her.

We weren’t surprised to see Michael’s car gone when we got home, which meant Luke probably wasn’t here either. But Calum’s mustang was dutifully parked in the driveway, and I didn’t know if my heart skipped a beat out of excitement or dread.

Since it was so late Hannah said she was gonna go crash in the basement, and I agreed. I was tired down to my bones, but for so many different reasons. I was just about to head upstairs when I saw the faint glow of the kitchen light on, and I paused before moving any further. I knew talking to Calum alone was a dangerous game, and that it could end badly in a lot of ways. But there was a tugging in my chest that I simply couldn’t resist, and so I dropped my bag by the stairs and walked around to the kitchen.

He was seated at the table, half empty beer bottle in front of him. His black tee shirt and black jeans made him look like a shadow, barely there and on the verge of disappearing. He didn’t notice me at first, lost in whatever thought had a frown on his face. But then he looked over, brown eyes grabbing hold of me like a vice.

My smile was faint as I folded my arms and leaned against the wall, not daring to get any closer. I had no idea if this stoic expression of his was out of anger, sadness, or just boredom.

“Hey,” I greeted stiffly, deciding one of us may as well talk first. “I didn’t hear you come in last night.” After my talk with Hannah, I’d been worried that Calum was hurt when I didn’t go after him. I waited up anxiously for about an hour, but he hadn’t returned by the time I fell asleep.

He leaned back in his seat, hands toying with the beer bottle. “I didn’t hear you leave this morning,” he countered, relieving some of my tension. He didn’t sound angry, but he still hadn’t hinted at how he felt about yesterday.

“Yeah, Hannah and I left pretty early. She wanted to look at apartments, and I went with her.” I shifted from one foot to the other, anticipating his response. Calum took a swig of beer, still maintaining a steady frown.

“She wanted to look?” he asked, a slight emphasis on she.

“With everything going on, I guess she just wanted her options open,” I explained, knowing the underlying question he was trying to ask but ignoring it.

But Calum clearly wanted it answered. “What about your options?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, at a loss for words. I couldn’t even figure out myself what I wanted to do, let alone tell someone else. I fidgeted, trying to buy myself time to think. “I like living here,” I said after a while, causing him to look over again. Quickly I added, “because the rent is free, and I don’t have a lot of money yet.” I wanted to kick myself after saying this; why did I have to be so defensive? Why couldn’t I have just said I liked living here and left it at that, open-ended for Calum to interpret himself?

He stared down at the table, and I missed his warm brown eyes once he tore them away. “Right,” he murmured. “It’s economically convenient.”

I sighed, detecting his frustration. I hadn’t meant to come off as a cheapskate leaching off of the guys’ kindness, but apparently that’s how he saw it. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just...I want to pay rent, trust me I feel bad everyday for taking advantage, but…” The words escaped me, and something told me Calum didn’t really care about my explanation anyway. In an attempt to salvage this, I stated, “Look, if Hannah finds a place she likes I’ll probably go with her. That way, I’m out of your hair and actually living somewhere I deserve.”

I thought this would please Calum, but instead it only caused his brows to furrow and his frown to deepen. “That’s what you think I want?” he questioned, catching me off guard.

“Isn’t it?” His silent, incredulous stare just made me huff impatiently. “I can’t read your mind, Calum. I have no idea what you want, but I thought that was pretty close--”

“If you think I want you gone, then you’re wrong.”

I froze, suddenly feeling the distance between us shrink. Even though he was across the room, it was like he was right next to me, speaking right into my soul. Almost a minute passed by with neither of us saying anything, and I was so confused I knew I wouldn’t be the first to break the silence. Luckily, Calum seemed to know exactly what he wanted to say, because he stood up and walked over to the sink, placing the beer bottle in the sink and gripping the counter with his hands. He was facing away from me, and all I could see were the tense muscles in his back.

“Don’t go.”

Two words. Two small, barely distinguishable words I had to strain to hear. But those two words carried the weight of the world, our world, and it knocked all the breath out of me.

But naturally, my guard went up. I didn’t trust Calum, and I wouldn’t let his vague request get the better of me. “What happened to not giving a shit about me? I thought I was a liar who drives everybody insane. You said you hated me.” I knew referencing that particular fight was risky, considering what had transpired after it. Hatred had fueled our actions then, the passion an angry one that left me confused and guilty in the morning.

Calum turned around at last, and I saw the intensity in his eyes as he sighed. “You’re right. You are annoying and stubborn and make me absolutely crazy sometimes. But then, when I had stormed out yesterday because I was just so damn angry, I stopped myself. I was just sitting in my car, in some random parking lot, trying to get your stupid voice out of my head.”

My heart thumped so loudly in my chest I was sure it was shaking the whole room.

He shook his head, almost in a daze. “I knew exactly what you’d say. I knew you would tell me it would be okay, and that all I had to do was try. I could picture your face exactly. I even…” The way he licked his lips made my knees go weak. “You might just be the most infuriating person I’ve ever met, but I need you Scarlett. You make me a better person--you force me to be a better person, even when I don’t want to be. No one has ever given that much of a shit about me, or put in that much effort. Most people just...settle with what I’ve got. But you…”

Almost unconsciously my body brought me closer to him, meeting in the middle as the magnetism between us could no longer be fought. We were an inch away, and I was barely even breathing. When Calum lifted a hand to rest on the side of my face, a long-awaited exhale left my lungs.

“I need you, Scarlett,” he whispered. His admission hung in the air between us, the last barrier we needed to break before we could really come together. Feeling the touch of his fingers on my skin and the heat of his gaze on my face, I knew what needed to be done. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

Kissing Calum was a phenomenon I would never get used to. Each time, it was even deeper, even hotter. His lips were so familiar and yet so strange, eliciting new feelings inside of me with every movement. He tasted like beer and smelled like cologne, his scent intoxicating me. One swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip had me melting, and soon our tongues clashed with a new fervor born from the passion of his confession.

He needs me. Calum needs me. I repeated this phrase inside my head as we stumbled through the kitchen, my back hitting the wall and my hands finding his neck for stability. I could feel his desperation in every hot, rushed action he took, from biting my lip gently to skimming his hands down my sides. It was like he would die if he couldn’t feel me, touch me, kiss me.

Fully clothed and fully exposed in the kitchen, I worried for a second that Hannah would walk in on us, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment. Unfortunately, Calum was the first to pull away from the kiss. Our breathing was labored but matched, the synchronicity of our pulses electrifying the room. I scanned his face, frowning in confusion. “Why’d you stop?”

Smiling at my slight panic, he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up, revealing a few inches of my abdomen and stopping just below my bra. “Because there are things I want to do to you that can’t be done in this kitchen,” he murmured into my ear, and I rolled my eyes back as his warm breath tickled my skin.

We fumbled through the dark house, hands entangled together as he led me up the stairs. Exhilaration coursed through me like a drug, igniting every nerve ending on my body. I couldn’t wait to tear off my clothes and expose myself to Calum and his wicked tricks.

As he closed the door to his bedroom behind me, he watched me whip off my shirt and pretended to pout. “I wanted to do that,” he complained, his large hands grabbing my sides and lighting up the skin that his fingers pressed into. I smiled, giving him a light kiss before leaning back and quirking an eyebrow up.

“There are plenty of other things you can take off,” I replied in a low voice, making his eyes spark as he reattached our lips. He used his body to push mine back to the bed until I fell back, his large frame resting on me in a deliciously suffocating way. I didn’t know why but the weight of him on top of me felt so right, and I pressed my hands into his back to bring him even closer.

Calum felt my hands and ripped his shirt over his head, discarding it beside mine on the floor. His lips traveled down my jaw to my neck, sloppy and wet and riling me up inside. One hand supported his weight while the other rested on my hip, thumb moving to undo the front button of my jeans. In a flash my pants were off, and only my bra and panties covered me. I arched my back in order to undo my bra clasp, and the action pushed my breasts close to Calum’s face, and he let out a groan as his lips dipped to kiss my chest.

“God, Scarlett,” he growled when I was nearly exposed to him, my torso bare and my panties shortly following as I tossed them to the floor. The way Calum looked at me, like he was consuming me with his very eyes and touch, made me feel like I was on fire. His hands drifted over every inch of skin, sliding down my inner thighs and up my waist.

I wrapped my fingers into his curls just as I felt his hand cover my entrance, causing my hips to buck with pleasure. One simple stroke of his finger had me moaning, and my folds were slick with excitement. He worked my clit in circles that had my jaw dropping, and it was all I could do not to scream out his name.

“Oh my god,” I breathed, one of his fingers dipping into my core. “Just like that.” I could tell he was smirking by the way he kissed me, and this amusing arrogance of his only made my stomach tighten further. I couldn’t believe how much Calum affected me, how one simple touch had me hurtling towards the edge. I knew as soon as my toes began to curl and my hips lifted off the mattress I was done for, and his fingers pumped one more time before my orgasm rocketed through me.

Stars swam before my vision as I whined with pleasure, legs shaking and chest heaving with effort. I came down off my high to the feeling of him kissing my jaw, curls tickling my chin. With clumsy movements, I wrestled with his difficult belt buckle, huffing when it wouldn’t come undone. Calum chuckled lowly, capturing my pout with his lips. He kissed me gently as he expertly removed his belt and slid his pants down, boxers going along with them. When he leaned back to pull them off, I got a perfect view of his body. Toned muscles shone in the dim moonlight streaking through the window, and I could just make out how hard he was. His cock looked stiff and I tenderly reached out a hand to caress it, gingerly swiveling up and feeling the hot skin in my palm.

Calum let out a string of curse words at my motions, coming forward again so he was engulfing me with his body. When I rubbed my thumb at the base of his tip, he hissed and grabbed my wrist. “If you want this to last, you’re gonna have to stop doing that, babe,” he told me darkly, the word babe making my stomach somersault. I released his cock and brought my hand to his cheek, kissing him hard and communicating all of my desire in the way my lips connected to his.

The lust in his blown out pupils told me he wanted the exact same thing, and after a minute he reached one arm over to the nightstand. A familiar foil packet was ripped open, and I watched his deft fingers work the condom on until he was lined up at my entrance. His tip just dipped into my folds, and the agonizing tease had my breath erratic.

Our noses brushed as we both waited for the inevitable. My heart pounded in my ears and my senses were overwhelmed by the boy hovering above me, so close to giving me exactly what I wanted. His full pink lips were parted slightly, and I slid my palm along the line of his jaw. Calum read my eyes, surely seeing the craving in my expression. Dropping his forehead to my own, I felt his hips shift as he sank into me.

A cry quickly left my lips after he entered me. My slick folds encased his throbbing length, and he pressed all the way inside until I felt him reach the deepest part of me. The stretch was sensational, and he filled me with every inch of him. I almost didn’t want him to move, in love with the feeling of him fitting so closely. But then he pulled his hips back, almost all the way out, and reentered with a firm push that had me whining for more.

“Fuck,” he swore breathily, eyes closed as he rocked into me. “You’re so tight.” I gripped his bicep, lips lazily dragging across his jaw as his face rested right above mine. Calum’s breaths were shallow and hitched every time my walls clenched around him. I tugged at the ends of his air, causing an impassioned moan to escape his mouth.

This must have snapped something inside of him, because his pace began to increase. Each thrust went deeper, harder, faster. He filled me completely only to slide out and slam back into me. My knees bent and my legs wrapped around his hips, providing a new angle that had his name tumbling out of my lips.

“God, Calum, yes,” I cried, his face burying in my neck. My hands went from his hair to his back to his arms, desperately trying to hang on as my body lost control. We were so in sync, and with each push into me I felt myself falling further and further into ecstasy.

His moans had also picked up speed, growing louder when I bucked my hips into his. “You feel so good, baby,” he rasped, sucking on my neck and massaging my breast with his hand. He was everywhere, in me and on me and around me, and I wanted nothing more than to be swallowed up by his embrace.

Calum’s thrusts grew rougher and sloppier, each one coiling up the heat inside me tighter and tighter. I knew I was close when my legs began to shake, and my eyes couldn’t stay open. Colors exploded in a rainbow of pleasure as my second orgasm hit, erupting through my nerves like lava. I was moaning and clawing at his back, and when Calum groaned deeply I knew he was done for as well. We both rode our orgasms with mingled moans and slow kisses, and when I had recovered I felt the weight of him fully on top of me as he rested inside of me. I felt complete, entirely connected the one person I’d been yearning for for weeks. I never wanted him to pull away, to leave me and bring back the empty feeling.

We laid like this for a while, my fingers trailing across his back as he rested his cheek on my chest, breath finally steadying as he exhaled into my skin. When I unwrapped my legs from around him he finally rolled off of me, sliding out of my folds and quickly throwing out the condom into the bin next to the bed. I was sore in the best way possible, and my body felt blissfully satisfied.

Calum rolled back to face me, not hesitating before he pulled me into his chest. I rested against his hot, sweat-glistened skin, savoring the way I could feel his subtle heartbeat under my cheek. His fingers drifted up and down my arm, soothing the burning skin before pulling the covers over us and providing even more warmth. I was scorching hot, and closed my eyes as I imagined how nice it would be if we could melt into one another.

I felt Calum press his lips to the top of my head in a surprisingly intimate gesture, and my heart swooned before exhaustion took me out of reality and into a dreamless sleep.

- - - - -

For once, Calum was awake before me. I woke up to the feeling of his fingers in my hair, running through the soft strands as he gazed down at me. I pressed my nose into the skin of his chest, inhaling as much of him as I could. He smelled warm and sweet and I wondered briefly if I was in a dream.

“You frown in your sleep, you know,” he said softly, causing me to look up at him with a puzzled expression. His smile was faint but his eyes were kind, and I basked in their brown glow. “So serious, like you’re deep in thought even when you’re asleep.”

My lips stretched into a smile, and my hand rubbed his chest lazily. “You’re watching me sleep?”

He shrugged, brushing the hair out of my face and resting his hand on the side of my neck. “I love looking at you.” His simple but powerful statement made my smile grow, and if I wasn’t so tired I would’ve jumped for joy. Drowsily, I leaned up to kiss his lips, barely even touching him but bringing our naked bodies closer once more. I couldn’t help the gleeful grin on my face, and it only broadened when Calum went in for another kiss.

I was about to say something about the way he slept when a harsh and unwelcome ringing blared from my phone. Our little bubble abruptly burst as I scrambled to find the phone, not thinking before I hit the end call button. But I didn’t toss my phone aside before reading the name of the caller, and my blood ran cold. It was Nick.

Sitting on the side of the bed, half of my body covered by the blankets but the other half exposed, I knitted my brows as Calum’s fingers danced across my skin, unaware of who had just tried to talk to me. He must have seen the look on my face, because his fingers stalled their movements.

Frustration and panic and even a little bit of guilt started to crowd my thoughts, as I suddenly remembered I was sort of dating someone that wasn’t the naked boy next to me. I chewed my lip, wondering if it was best to just lie about who had called and not ruin the moment.

No, Scarlett. You can’t lie. I sighed, knowing that I had to fess up. Any more lying would surely destroy Calum and I, and that was the last thing I wanted right now. I brought my hand to his, twisting my fingers against his own in an attempt to connect us in even a small way.

“Who was it?” he asked, tone dry and apprehensive. I bit my lip, praying this didn’t make him angry.

“It was Nick, the guy I...am sort of seeing.” I held my breath as he took this information in. Already his expression grew distant, and I panicked as he pulled his hand out of mine.

“Sort of seeing?” he repeated. I looked away, unable to hold his gaze when his eyes were boring so deep inside of me. The truth was Nick hadn’t even crossed my mind once last night, and I didn’t care. Calum had consumed me in every way, and I knew Nick would never be able to make me feel half as good.

But telling these things to Calum was risky. Too much and it might scare him away. Too little and he might get pissed at me. It was a fine line that I needed to navigate carefully, since our whole future depended on it.

“Sort of seeing as in...I don’t really want to be seeing him.” It was a simple clarification, and I just hoped Calum understood what it meant. Nick means nothing to me, I would give him up in a heartbeat for you. His calculated stare concerned me, and my mouth dried as I worried he didn’t understand.

He lowered his gaze, unable to meet mine as well. “So you’re saying, after last night, you don’t want to be with him.” I clenched my jaw at his infuriatingly vague assertion. If I said yes, he might think I looked too much into the night and thought we were more serious than we were. If I said no, he might think I didn’t care.

I couldn’t bear the space between us, and slid my body right next to his so my head rested on his shoulder. Physical communication seemed a better option than verbal, since I knew I would screw it up. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing my cheek against his arm. “I don’t know what it means, exactly. What I do know is...I just want to be here with you. For as long as we can.”

His silence terrified me, and I was about to give up entirely when he twisted his body to face mine, our chests touching gently. I watched his brown eyes closely, trying to decipher the thoughts behind them. Calum paused for a second, and then broke into a crooked smile.

“Well then you better end it with the poor bloke before he gets his hopes up.”

Pure elation washed over me, and my wide grin returned as I launched myself forward to kiss him. He reacted immediately, arms encircling me in a comforting embrace. It wasn’t a definite declaration of any sort of relationship, but it was enough. It was enough to know that Calum wanted to be here with me as much as I did, and the relief I felt was immeasurable.

I didn’t know what would happen after this, but frankly I didn’t care. I only cared about the taste of Calum’s lips and the touch of his hands, passion igniting between us as I kissed him hard. Under the warm blankets, with our bodies glued together and our lips connecting us, we were in paradise, at least for a fleeting instant.

64 notes · View notes

drakansa · 3 years

Text

Starship Troopers Book Review

I don’t use my blog a lot anymore but I have a lot of THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about this book I just read so here’s my review.

There might be spoilers ahead. I will also be comparing the book to the movie at times.

I wanna start out and say that even without knowing anything about him or looking him up I could tell right away that the author was from a military background. He worships the military and it’s clear in every word he writes - even when he’s cussing them it’s with a weird sort of reverence.

He actually talks bad about the military a lot, especially in the first half, but much like the teacher character in the book, Mr. Dubois, he does it in a way to make you want to like it. What’s the reverse of a backhanded compliment? His insults are like that.

The teacher in question is the reason our main character, Johnny Rico, joins the army. When asked about the teacher Johnny claims to hate him, but he constantly thinks about the conversations they had in class and the points his teacher made. The running theme of the book seems to be that punishment is good and criticism builds character. The more the teachers and authority figures yell at Johnny the more he remembers them and respects them. Mr. Dubois talks about joining the army as this hugely difficult thing that no one wants to do, that only the best of the best could every possibly hope to succeed at. Of course this has the effect of making impressionable high school teenagers want to do it all the more,

Corporeal punishment is a running theme throughout the book which couples nicely with his other theme of the glories of war. He extols ad nauseum the theory of “spare the rod, spoil the child” even going as far as to claim this has been proven as a mathematical fact in the future society he paints. In one chapter he spends a nauseating 20 pages expounding on that theory at length using a flashback memory of Johnny in class as a way to indirectly lecture the reader.

And the glories of war? He doesn’t talk about accolades or medals of honor. He seems to feel that being a soldier is it’s own reward, that the act of doing your “social responsibility” is a gratifying accomplishment in it’s own right. I suppose for him it must have been. He lovingly spends half the book describing boot camp and the drill sergeants and the toils and hardships that drove weaker men to quit. I’m not even exaggerating. Literally half the book. For the first 129 pages of the book’s 263 Johnny Rico is not even a solider and there is no mention of the war aside from the first chapter. The war is like an after though, tacked on to the story to give the author an excuse to wax poetic about the good old boy’s club that takes care of their own.

The army in the book is, in fact, very much a boys club too. There are no wild and dashing women soldiers like in the movie. The original Dizzy character was a man. Women in the book rarely speak and are regard as mythical ethereal creatures. The author always describes them as dainty, small, and pretty. They’re “What make the war worth fighting” and they’re on the army ships (in separate guarded quarters of course) because it’s “good for moral.” The only jobs he talks about that women do well is piloting spacecrafts.

Johnny Rico mentions in passing and usually after the fact going on two or three dates with women. The dates are never fully described and there is little to no emotional attachment with the women. He speaks more lovingly of his comrades in arms and the whole book has a slightly homoerotic overtone. That’s honestly one of the most enjoyable aspects of the book. When he describes two men slugging it out shirtless in the bathroom and then ending with a mutual bond and respect for each other we know what was really going on. Or at least what we like to imagine was really going on...

But aside from all the patriotic propaganda, war mongering, chauvinism, patriarchal old fashioned thinking I did really enjoy this book. Everything is written from Johnny’s point of view. We only know what he knows, what he thinks, and how he feels, and he feels like a whole complete character in a well fleshed out world. He talks about his world in a way we might talk about day to day things in our world. Like “Oh that? Yeah, it’s the powered suit the mobile infantry uses. You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.” He gives us exposition in a way that doesn’t talk down to us or over explain. The author trusts the reader to come to the correct conclusions and fill in the blanks with context clues and the course of the plot.

The aliens leave a strong impression and honestly were the reason I was so eager to read the book. The movie changed pretty much nothing in regards to their appearances or the different varieties. This novel was groundbreaking and inspired hundreds of other authors throughout the years. Written in 1959 it’s impact on the science fiction genre is still seen to this day. I love the parallels and contrasts with the 1985 novel Ender’s Game in this regard. I love how this book said war was the answer and Ender’s Game replied with a resounding “No it’s not” It’s like they’re written from two different perspectives in the same universe.

The heavy armor suits the Mobile Infantry use are really iconic as well, clearly a strong inspiration for later sci-fi classics like Stormtroopers and Masterchief. There’s a lot of well developed and intriguing ideas.

The character Johnny Rico is a macho man’s man in a man’s world - dumped headlong into this idealized version of the army - but he’s believable and relatable. He makes mistakes. He gets scared. He grows and changes his ideals and his goals in a way that not only feels genuine but also borderline autobiographical. I knew by the end of the book the author was a career military man just from the way he wrote about moving through officer school and the reverence he gave to those of rank.

Over all this novel feels like a giant military parade circle jerk designed to make impressionable young men set their comic books down and go enlist. However the sci-fi elements are on point and I enjoyed reading this iconic work.

#starship troopers #starship troopers novel #book review #jac reads hugo award winning novels #gotta read em all

18 notes · View notes

arsenicpanda · 4 years

Note

Toni Topaz

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: Oh, I love Toni, she’s great. I must admit, I mainly love season 2A to early 2B Toni, the Toni from before she becomes an accessory to Cheryl. She’s got spunk! She’s got attitude! She’s clever! She’s done with everyone’s shit but her own! She’s so great, I love her. Her general snark is so great, and she’s such a grounded character with a realistic view of the world. Like, she really has a good grasp on the reality of situations, from the Northside’s view of the Southside to the flaws in the Serpents to the whitewashing of history to Cheryl being in the closet to Cheryl using that doll to try and get Toni to let Jason’s corpse back in the house, Toni has a good eye for seeing through bullshit to the heart of things. She clearly doesn’t like people who pretend to be something they aren’t or who wear masks like Betty (I love Betty, but she does wear a mask, which is something I love about her, but it’s also clearly something Toni isn’t a fan of), but she quickly bonds with people who are unabashedly themselves like Jughead, Cheryl, and Veronica, and I find that really interesting. Also, she seems like she’s attracted to crazy people like Jughead and Cheryl. Like, remember that time when Cheryl was all discouraged and like “I’m not the girl who burned down Thornhill and cut off my mother’s oxygen anymore” and Toni, instead of going “No, you’re a better, saner person” or something similar, was like “Yes, you still are that girl”. Like, wtf, that is a weird answer, but I love that it was her first response. And she clearly wants out of Riverdale, it was so great when she was enthusiastic about getting to go to a school with actual functioning facilities, and I’m so glad she’ll be going to college, even if she’ll wind up back in Riverdale for whatever reason. Also, she’s 100% down with vengeance and extreme measures to keep people away, from Penny to Nick, and I love that. She has that I-will-do-anything-for-my-loved-ones attitude that is so Riverdale, and I love it. Also, her role in the tickle porn plot was hilarious. Super weird because, y’know, tickle porn, but also super funny. And I really miss her relationship with the Serpents, that was great. I want to know how and why she changed her mind about wanting a position of authority in the Serpents (because she never seemed interested in that in season 2). And I want to see her do photography again and have friends outside of Cheryl. And I want to know more about Toni and her life before Riverdale and how she came to Riverdale, joined the Serpents, lived with her uncle who kept kicking her out instead of her grandfather, and just became herself. I want to see her interact with the plot of the season and have her own storyline because she deserves it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Cheryl and Veronica, mainly, both individually and together, but in a universe where Riverdale never did the whole bughead thing for whatever reason, I probably would have been really into her with Jughead. And if I was able to do OT3s with bughead, I would be interested in her with Betty and Jughead with a fun enemies-to-lovers plot between her and Betty.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Jughead and the Serpents, 100%. I love how she and Jughead just took to each other immediately because they could both spot a kindred spirit. Like, they’re both so prickly, but they just connected and it was great. Jughead recruiting her for the paper was the best, and I loved how they bonded over their love of true crime and interest in serial killers. And I really loved her attitude while guiding Jughead through things, her “it’d be nice if you joined us, but you need to know what you’re getting into” and the way they just click. She went from his guide to essentially his right hand and then 3x09 happened and everything fell apart, to which I say boooo. Also, they clearly have similar taste in women (smart, intense scary ladies who are varying levels of crazy) but also dislike each other’s girlfriend, and I just think that’s the funniest thing ever. Toni and Jughead were close, but she never put up with his bullshit, and I think that’s the best. I was so excited when we saw them standing together in 4x02, like yes, they’re friends again! I didn’t get to see them reconnect and I don’t get to see them interact after that, but they’re friends again! Also, the way Jughead reacted to Toni getting pissed at Cheryl in 2x10 was the best, just “Oh god, she’s angry, shit’s about to go down and I won’t be able to do anything to stop it” was amazing, it’s clear they really know each other. He even showed her his writing and also told her about the typewriter Betty gave him! And the way she teased him about it was just the best. They’re both so judgy and done with other people’s shit and full of righteous anger and smart, and I just love seeing them together, they make for a great duo. Also, I love that the Serpents in general were her family, and that they all played a tabletop game together because that is just hilarious.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think the 3x09 fiasco was both their faults. Like, Toni shouldn’t have broken the rules, but Jughead also should have talked to them in private about it first like he did with Fangs. I don’t know if the rest of this is unpopular, but I think splitting Toni off from the Serpents was the dumbest choice they could have made for her because it severed her connection to one of the main characters and by association the main plot and left her only with Cheryl and her side plots. It just kneecapped her opportunities for screentime and I hate it. Another unpopular opinion is that the breakout bughead OT3 should have been with her, not Sweet Pea. She has better chemistry with Jughead and already has an adversarial relationship with Betty that’s prime enemies-to-lovers and has an easy set up to get the three of them together (working on the Blue and Gold after the merger with Southside High), and I think it’s bullshit that that ship isn’t more popular.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Oh god, so many things! I wish she had joined the Blue and Gold with Betty and Jughead, I think they would have made a great team and it would have given her more opportunities to shine. Like, Betty and Jughead could still have their private investigation moments, but they’d also have team ups with Toni. I would have loved to see her interact with Betty more and have them actually become friends. Oh, and I would have loved to see Jughead act as Toni’s guide to the Northside the way she was his guide in the Southside. And I wish that we had seen Jughead try to help Toni or take her in when she broke up with Cheryl. Just a “I know our friendship is on the rocks, but you need help, so I’m here to help because I still see you as a friend” moment. Surely the Cooper-Jones house has a guest room? Like, there’s no way a house of that size doesn’t have a guest room. And obviously I’d love to see Jughead talk to Toni after he finds out about the B/A kiss, I’m writing a whole fic about it. And I wish that her relationship with Cheryl had had a slower burn. I know that Riverdale likes to do things fast and that it can do things fast because they did most of the leg work for bughead in two episodes and it worked, so I wish they had added another episode to the choni build up, an episode where we got a chunk of them, or maybe they could have played the longer game like they did with varchie in season 1. Oh, and I would have loved to see Toni, Cheryl, Jughead, and Betty hanging out while talking Serpent stuff and babysitting the twins; it would have been the cutest thing. And also I just want her to have a role in the plot and her own storyline and to stop being Cheryl’s accessory.

My OTP: I don’t think I have one? The show kind of dropped the ball with choni in season 4 and soured me on it, which is a bummer because it’s great in concept. I guess my favorite ship with her is Cheryl/Toni/Veronica (I do not remember the ship name) because that is prime smart, scary lady, but I’m not super committed to it. I do know that in another universe it would be jopaz though, dual Serpent royalty, baby.

My crossover ship: None, I don’t really do crossover ships. Another smart, scary lady though, probably, if I did.

A headcanon fact: She and Jughead have had multiple conversations about photography and their dream cameras and their approaches to photography. After they reconnected between season 3 and season 4, they also talk about the best way to photograph their girlfriends. Also, Toni has reconnected with Sweet Pea and Fangs, and the four of them hang out sometimes because FRIENDSHIP. Also, while Toni might not major in photography in college, she will at least minor in it. Oh, and she has like a billion pictures of Cheryl but also nature and the Serpents and the Pretty Poisons.

#asks #anonymous #Riverdale #sorry for the delay!#Toni is great and I want to see more of her #I miss her friendship with Jughead SO MUCH #my thoughts on Riverdale let me show you them #Anonymous

7 notes · View notes

sadboyayeron · 4 years

Text

Tapping at my Chamber Door (Nikoshi Doe) Chapter 1

All For The Game Fic Chapter 2>

(This is how everything started, this is Nikos mothers POV)

I was born in Jamaica. I moved to the states at a young age to live with my Aunt in the Bronx. I didn’t have a sad childhood besides the fact that I miss my mother who died and I didn't know my father. My aunt took good care of me. She took me to track practice everyday and worked hard to pay for the rent. I got a Scholarship to Edgar Allen University to run track for there school. It was one of the best scholarships I got that was closest to New York.

Thats where I meet Riko Moriyama. It was around the same time Kevin day left. I always knew he went to the school, who wouldn’t his face was plastered everywhere. He wasn’t bad looking, not at all. Sharp cheek bones and slitted eyes. Black pools of nothingness. I noticed him looking at me couple times. I figured it was because my name went around that I broke multiple school recorders and was rumored to be running in the next olympics. He only ever looked, no emotion etched on his face. One day I decided to approach him while in class.

“Like what you see.” I was trying to catch him off guard but he didn’t even look surprise. But then he smiled. Something sharp that left me feeling tingly, similar to how I feel before racing.

“Not to bad, no.” He chuckled, looked me up and down before he landed back on my eyes, “Want to sit.”

He left me in a trance and I took a seat next to him and sat my books in front of me. I tucked some braids behind my ear and looked at him again, he was looking back with a smug smile on his face.

“Are you from New York?” He asked.

“How do you know?” I replied.

“You have an accent, I've been there a couple times to be able to tell.” He looked back down to his work and the professor walked in. At the end of the class he passed me a note and left with out a word.

Like what you see

***-***-***

And thats how I got myself in this fucked up situation.

Rikos dead. I’m Pregnant. Rikos fucking dead and I'm 5 month Pregnant. I had to stop running. I had to quit my life and he killed himself. Dead. I didn't know what to do so I went to his Uncle. Tesuji who didn't bat a single eye when I told him. All he said was give him the kid when I have him and I get my scholarship back. My life back. Thats what I did. I went back to New York, back to my aunt who was disappointed in me. She had every reason to be. She tried to get me to keep the kid but I just couldn’t. I’m not ready to have to take care off another human being, maybe later but not now. The next 4 months went by and I found myself in the hospital. God it hurt like hell, the doctors looked panicked ad my Aunt was crying. I knew I was bleeding to much and I was probably going to die. Tesuji was in the hall way, my aunt called him when my water broke.

“Nico,” I whispered to her. “His n-name is Nico.”

Naima Dixon Died May 20th, 20**

Tesuji held the small vermin in his arms trying his best to look like he cared for it. The child was clearly Riko’s, just with small curls on its had and darker skin. As soon as he could he would drop this child off in the system but now he had papers to sign. “Nico,” is what the hag had told him the name would be. To close to Rikos. He decided to spell it Niko and add a Shi at the end out of spite. It only made sense, shi meaning death in Japanese.

Nikoshi Doe Born May 20th, 20**

About ten years went by and Tesuji found himself in New York again face to face with his older nephew. Tesuji’s time was up now. It only made sense he was useless and caused so much trouble to the Moriyama name after the ravens were tarnished. In the face of death he found his thoughts drifting to a little boy with brown skin and curly hair with eyes, lips, nose so smiler to the child he beaten with inches to his life so many years prior. He should have killed the thing when he had the chance. He looked his nephew in the eye and gave his last words. Of him having his own nephew. His late younger brother not being able to keep his hands to himself in ways besides torture. The child not living to far from this office. In the system. The offspring would have been nine or ten years old by now. Older then when he had to take in Riko. He watched as Ichirou thought about his claim.

“whats his name?” He finally spoke.

“Nikoshi Doe.” Fitting wasn’t it.

Not long after Tesuji was found dead in his home. Said to have been peacefully asleep. The best way to go out. Ichirou did some digging, calling numbers he knew could find him what he was looking for. Nikoshi Doe was not hard to find at all. He was currently living in a foster home with a couple other children in the Bronx. He was 10 years old and was in the 5th grade. He received a picture. The child was average hight for his age. He had milk chocolate skin, dark eyes resembling his own (Rikos), curly hair that fell all around his head in a afro. Slight bags under his eyes, full lips pulled into a smile that didn’t quit reach his eyes. He could see little studs in his ears. In the face he was definitely his brothers child. His nephew. Doesn’t mean he wants much to do with him, he has no time to deal with a child and can't have this ruining the Moriyama name any further. Killing a child is were he crossed the line though, leaving it would be the easy option. But of course he wants to have some fun with his investments.

Kevin Day has never gotten a text message from the lord so when he wakes up one day while he's sleeping on Neil and Andrews couch in Chicago to buzzing on the coffee table he is terrified. What he sees though is a picture of a child. Deja’vu hits him hard. Then his phone rings in his hand with the same number he knows so well.

“Hello My Lord.”

(I had to redo this because some reason it deleted ugh)

I decided I wanted to actually start writing. This has been stuck in my head for so long. I love reading how you view this and keep doing what your doing I love it @side-effect-of-the-meds. Can’t wait to go further in depth for how I picture this going hopefully I do okay. @andrewminyardamiright

@kevindayprotectionsquad

Chapter 2>

#nikoshi #nikoshi motherfucking doe #nikoshi doe #the only valid moriyama #all for the game #all for the game fanfic #fanfic #aftg au #aftg fanfic #aftg fic

18 notes · View notes