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ijustwant2write · 4 years

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His Protector-Fred Weasley x Reader

(GIF credit to @winter-and-zombies)

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Summary: At the Battle of Hogwarts, Fred is saved by (Y/N), a close friend of the twins. Both have always had feelings for the other, and in true cliche fashion, neither have admitted this. Years after the battle (where things are somewhat back to normal), the twins have remained friends with her, but it’s only at a Weasley family party does (Y/N) finally say something.

Characters: Fred Weasley x Reader, George Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Mentions of death, PTSD, injuries, blood, lots of fluff

(A/N: This is quite long! And also the first time I’ve written for Harry Potter, blame it on my FYP on Tik Tok)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There were no dry eyes from anyone gathered in the Great Hall. It was full of students, resting from the battle and treating injuries, or mourning over friends who didn't make it. Some were huddled together as they sobbed, others keeping to themselves as they tried to stop the horrifying images keep playing in their minds.

The Weasley’s were gathered around Fred, who was laid out on a makeshift stretcher, tears streaming down their faces as they waited for some sign of him waking up. He had dried blood on his face and partly in his hair. When he was first carried in, their immediate thoughts had been he was dead, because he seemed so lifeless. They were extremely grateful when they realised he was breathing, and he had a heartbeat.

Molly stroked back her son’s hair, trying to calm herself down as to not alarm her children. Never in her life did she think they would have to go through something like this, especially at such a young age. These were her babies, and she was going to protect them with her life like any mother would. George sat beside Fred opposite his mum, praying that his brother's eyes would soon open. Although it had been confirmed that he would be alright, albeit with a few injuries, seeing him lying there made it feel like he wasn’t with them anymore. Suddenly, Fred began to stir, scrunching up his eyes and moaning as he felt the pain throbbing through his body.

“How you feeling Freddie?” George quickly asked as the family got closer.

Fred mumbled something, but no one could understand.

“What was that Fred?” Molly quietly said.

“(Y/N)...”

“Who? Who are you talking about?” Molly was sure she had heard the name before, perhaps when the boys were still at school.

“(Y/N), where is she?” Fred moaned.

“I don’t know Freddie.” George replied.“I haven’t seen her since you were brought in.”

“Is..is sh-sh-she a-alive?” Fred was still weak, struggling to speak.

“Fred, please, just rest for now.” Molly begged, not wanting to see him in pain any longer.

“Sh-she’s d-dead?”

As the family struggled to keep Fred still and stop him from panicking, Ginny backed away, knowing the only way Fred would settle was if she found (Y/N). When Fred was carried in, (Y/N) had also been brought him right behind him, but they were separated. She was taken off towards her friends, and in the heat of the moment, Ginny hadn’t questioned if she was alright, making her feel awful.

Although (Y/N) had been close to the twins, she hadn’t been as mischievous as them, not wanting multiple detentions or to get in any trouble as much as they did. It was a surprising friendship between them, especially when (Y/N) was so nice to Ginny, despite the age difference; she was always surprised that the boys never invited her round to their home during the holidays. Because she saw how Fred would sneak glances at the girl, always rolling her eyes at how obvious he was being with his feelings, yet neither one did anything about it.

Ginny ignored the calls from her dad when she set off in the hall to find (Y/N), bombarding her peers with questions, desperate to find her as quickly as possible. Luckily amongst everyone, she spotted (Y/N)’s friends huddled on the floor, holding onto the unconscious girl’s hands. Ginny startled them as she rushed over.

“Is she...” Ginny started.

“She’s alive. But she’s weak.” one of her friends sniffled.

“We need to move (Y/N).” Ginny demanded.

“What?”

“She needs to be beside Fred.”

“Why?”

“She just does! Come on, help me move her. Please!”

The girls glanced between each other, and they knew Ginny wouldn’t be requesting such a thing for no reason. They struggled to navigate her body on the stretcher through the people, Ginny going ahead and commanding that they move out of the way. All eyes were on (Y/N), wondering why they were moving her. Ginny gently ushered George and her father out of the way, the men helping lay (Y/N) down on the floor. Fred also watched, slowly turning his head to look at her, expecting to see her beautiful eyes staring back. But when he saw they were shut, he panicked. He shakily reached out for her hand, struggling to find it as they were crossed over on her stomach. George took on her hands, placing it in Fred’s, smiling at the size difference.

Molly and Arthur looked at each other, wondering why this girl was so special to Fred and also why they hadn’t been told much about her.

“This is (Y/N). She saved Fred’s life.” Ginny explained to her parents."She's alive Fred."

Fred didn't reply, still staring at her and grasping onto her hand. His mind flashed back to seeing her save him, hearing how angry and upset she was as she shouted out her spell, somehow defending him from his death and saving herself. He had blacked out before he could see if she was safe. Although he heard Ginny, it didn't make him feel any better. He just wanted to see her eyes open. That was it.

"(Y/N)." he tried to raise his voice, but his throat was so hoarse that it came out as a whisper. He tried shaking her hand slightly, and again, he was too weak to even do that.

George held (Y/N)'s other hand, trying to help his brother wake up their friend. He too wanted her to wake up, and not just for his brother's sake. Her eyes fluttered open, then quickly shut again. Instinctively she was going to rub her eyes until she realised her hands were preoccupied.

"What's happening?" she breathed out, looking around at the Weasley family.

"You're safe dear." Molly reassured her.

"You're alive." Fred smiled, relief flooding through him.

(Y/N) only realised it was Fred talking beside her, breathlessly laughing as her head lulled to the side. There he was, alive just as she was.

"Fred? Oh my...Y-you're here."

"All thanks to you." George smiled, squeezing her hand.

"I'm so..." she gulped before continuing."I'm so happy you're both safe."

"Please don't do that again." Fred begged.

"Do what?"

"Put yourself in danger to save me."

"Don't be stupid Freddie. You can thank me later."

"Let me guess...lots and lots of chocolates."

"Exactly."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/N) yawned as she packed up her things from work, tired after another long week. She passed co-workers, waving goodbye and smiling as she left the building. As she put on her hat, she looked up at the sky, smiling at the sight of snow falling. It was turning dark, and seeing the snowflakes illuminated by the street lights made the street she walked down everyday look beautiful. (Y/N) took her first few steps towards her route home, suddenly stopping for an unknown reason. Something was pulling her in the other direction, she wanted to take a different path today.

Following her instincts, she walked in the opposite direction, hypnotised by the weather around her. Once she reached the end of the street, she looked up at the sign post, and the only part of it not covered in snow was the one that said 'Diagon Alley'. She hadn't been down there for so long, she hadn't seen two certain men for so long.

Why was she headed there? And of all the times to go, why now? She hadn't seen the twins for months, not because she didn't want to, but because she was so busy, as were they. Continuing her walk, she thought back to how often they would spend time together, especially after what happened to Hogwarts. She needed solidarity, she needed to be reminded that Fred was still there, that she didn't dream saving him, it had to be real. (Y/N) would regularly visit them, or vice versa, trying to act like everything was normal and that they weren't effected by anything that had happened.

The shops were closed, she could see the owners locking up, beginning to tidy everything away. Lights were dim, signs now said 'closed' and she was one of the few people left in the street after a busy day of shopping. As (Y/N) approached 'Weasleys Wizard Wheezes', she grew nervous, wondering if this really was a good idea. She hadn't seen them for all this time and now she was suddenly turning up on their shop doorstep? Was it rude? Was she being stupid in thinking that they would be totally fine seeing her after a working day?

Mustering up as much courage as she could, (Y/N) forced herself to the front door, seeing that no last minute customers were left. She tried opening the door, luckily it was open, and let herself in.

"Sorry, we're closed!" a voice shouted out.

"Even for me?" she cheekily called back, giggling when a confused George poked his head around a pile of boxes.

He grinned, practically running towards (Y/N) with his arms open wide."Where have you been little miss?"

"I'm sorry, I know this is a random visit but...I don't know, I just thought of coming to see you and Freddie."

"You're welcome here any time of any day. You know that."

They pulled apart, still smiling."Thanks, I just feel bad that I've not made much effort."

"Hey, we're all busy now. Don't worry about it. I'll go get Fred, he's going to love this!"

George was ecstatic as he dashed off to find his brother. All of them were to blame for not catching up more often than they used to, and he had seen how it effected Fred. They had all been each others support system after the battle, but it was clear that Fred and (Y/N) hugged a little tighter than they used to, looked into each others eyes longer, and smiled as much as possible when together. George had always wanted to set them up (he would have preferred involving pranks somehow) and that old itch was back. These two were hopeless with their feelings for one another, he just had to give them a little push in the right direction...into each others arms.

"Freddie!" George exclaimed, laughing when his brother almost dropped a box out of fright.

"What?" Fred sighed as he recovered, placing the box on the floor. He just wanted to get the stock out for the next morning and go home.

"Come see who has paid us a visit."

George said no more, going back to the shop floor, leaving Fred rolling his eyes as he followed. He rolled up his shirt sleeves as they slid down his arms, not paying much attention to his surroundings. So when he looked up and he saw her, his mouth dropped open, shocked to see (Y/N) standing there.

"Would you just get over here and hug me?" (Y/N) joked, though not as boldly as she used to.

Fred just laughed as he did what she said, reaching down to wrap his long arms around her. She had miss how he held her, how tightly he clung onto her, as if it were their last hug ever. George just stood there, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for them to finish.

"What are you doing here?" Fred asked.

"Just wanted to see you both." (Y/N) simply stated.

"Well I'm glad you did."

"How about we go for some drinks? It is the end of the week after all." George suggested.

(Y/N) nodded."Yeah, I'm up for that."

"Well then, let's get packed up Freddie."

(Y/N) offered to help, but the twins refused. They came in and out of the stock room, being as quick as they could. (Y/N) took the opportunity to walk around, see what items they were selling. There were some new products, but most were older classics. She reminisced over all the times the boys used pranks such as the ones in the shop, and how they could sometimes get a lighter punishment, just because everyone loved them. She took part in a few schemes here and there, but only the harmless ones, the ones that would only land her in detention if they got caught.

She came to a stand that held numerous love potions. She smiled as she remembered making Amortentia in her lessons. That had been an awkward class. No one wanted to be picked on and asked what theirs smelt like, not in front of their peers. (Y/N) knew who's hers smelt like as soon as the lid of the bottle popped off.

"No luck in the love department then?" George smirked as he put on his coat.

"Hm?" (Y/N) hadn't been paying attention, thinking back on old times.

"Still not found 'the one'?"

"Oh, no, I don't have time for any of that."

"Well, hopefully Mr Right just stumbles into your life." George was growing more excited by the second.

"Yeah, hopefully."

"Right, ready to go?" Fred appeared.

"Yes-Oh!" George startled them."Freddie, I just had a great idea."

"Oh here we go." (Y/N) joked.

"(Y/N) should come home with us, to the Burrow, for mum's party!"

"A party? Why is your mum throwing a party?"

"Dad got a little bonus at work, mum thinks it's something to celebrate. And it's an excuse for her to get the whole family back together."

"That is an amazing idea actually." Fred beamed.

"I can't impose on something like that. Especially since it's a family thing."

"Nonsense." the twins said in unison.

"Are you sure? I mean, I haven't seen your family for so long."

"Mum would love it." Fred reassured her.

"OK then!" (Y/N) grinned."I've always loved a Weasley party."

"That's settled then," George opened the door,"we'll discuss the details over those drinks that are waiting for us."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Smoothing down her dress once again, (Y/N) checked her tights for any holes or ladders. She had planned her outfit a week before the party, changing her mind countless times before she finally decided on what she wanted to wear. All morning, her heart had been racing, stomach twisting into knots as nerves got the better of her. Why was she so nervous? She had met the Weasley’s many times, she even stayed the Burrow!

There was a knock at the door, meaning the boys were here to pick her up. Sighing, she checked herself one last time in the mirror before going to answer the door. As she opened it, she noticed it was only Fred standing there, no sign of George.

"Hi, where's George?" she asked as she let Fred inside the flat. She took a note of the smart-casual shirt he was wearing; thank god, she was dressed correctly.

"He's waiting downstairs. Said he can't be arsed to walk up all those stairs. Even though there is a lift..."

"Since when did he become so lazy?" (Y/N) giggled, grabbing her handbag and keys. Turning back around, she saw Fred staring at her.

"(Y/N), you look..." Fred was speechless, which was rare for him. He always had a witty remark, a joke or a flirty comment at the ready, but when he was around (Y/N), those words seemed to get stuck in his throat,"...beautiful."

(Y/N) smiled, ducking her head to hide her blush."Th-thanks Freddie. You look very handsome too."

There were so many more words that he wanted to use to compliment her. He wanted to slap himself for using such a basic word. (Y/N) was gorgeous, she was dazzling, he could believe such a smart, independant and caring woman was in his life. Why did he have to stutter or forget how to speak when he was around her? The real words he wanted to say were on the tip of his tongue, but they would never leave there.

Awkwardly laughing, they left the flat, meeting George outside. George noticed their pink cheeks but didn't mention it, knowing they had embarrassed themselves enough in front of each other.

The journey was full of banter and inside jokes, making it seem like they were students again at Hogwarts. (Y/N)'s nerves about seeing the Weasley’s again had disappeared, but new ones emerged. And they were all because of Fred. (Y/N) wasn't stupid, she had always had feelings for him. But after the battle, she hadn't snatched him up, something held her back, and she just couldn't bring herself to even talk to Fred about it, like any other normal adult would.

The Burrow was just ahead, now the nerves were taken over by excitement. Fred and George reminded (well, warned) (Y/N) how excited their mum was going to be, but she didn't mind. It would be great to receive such an inviting reception. She walked between the twins up to the house, letting them go in first, hesitating slightly as she took in how many people were there; they weren't joking when they said everyone would be there.

"Mum, look who else we brought." Fred struggled to say as he was smothered with kisses across his face.

Molly finally let him go, her smile turning into a shocked expression before letting out a scream, making everyone jump. She didn't waste time bringing (Y/N) into a bone crushing hug. (Y/N) would have laughed if she could breathe, but didn't complain.

"Oh, it's so good to see you dear! It's been too long since you've been back here." Molly held (Y/N)'s cheeks in her hands, looking at how the young girl she knew had turned into a beautiful woman.

“I couldn’t say no when Fred and George invited me.” (Y/N) said through squished lips.

“Alright mum, give her some air.” George gently chuckled.

“Oh, this is so nice.” Molly beamed, glancing between (Y/N) and Fred, who was already looking at her.

It took a good ten minutes for the twins and (Y/N) to greet everyone. She always forgot how many Weasley’s there were, some she had not seen for years. Homemade food was laid out on the table (far more than what was needed), everyone nibbling at anything they fancied as they spoke over drinks. There was a toast held for Arthur, who humbly thanked everyone, bashful over Molly’s speech; and she didn’t leave out mentioning how lovely it was that the family was extending, referring to (Y/N). She had blushed too much recently, avoiding eye contact with Fred as everyone stared at the pair who were stood together.

The day was moving on too quickly, it was becoming dark outside, and she didn’t want the night to end. The family had split into groups, still having much to talk about. (Y/N) decided to refill her drink, parting from the others to head to the kitchen. Just as she found another bottle to open, someone appeared beside her. Craning her neck upwards, she flinched back as Fred held out her coat to her, along with her hat, scarves and gloves.

“We’re not leaving are we?” (Y/N) frowned, not wanting to leave.

“Just popping out.” Fred smiled.

After getting wrapped up, (Y/N) followed Fred outside. Once again, it was lightly snowing, starting to stick to the ground which was already frosty, the sound of grass crunching underneath their shoes. She nonchalantly looped her arm through his, snuggling into him (if he asked, she would blame it on the cold), her heart fluttering when Fred instead wrapped his arm around her shoulders, meaning they could be closer. They didn’t stray too far from the house, Fred casting Lumos to light the way. There was a crumbling stone wall which Fred confidently hopped onto. (Y/N) waited for some part of it to collapse, and when it didn't, she joined him, having to jump higher to reach the top. He laughed, forgetting how much advantage his height have him almost everyday.

"We've never sat here before." (Y/N) commented.

"Honestly, I didn't even know it was here."

"So we were just wandering around?" (Y/N) smiled.

"Yeah." Fred confessed.

“How come you wanted to get out of the house?”

“Uh...I wanted to, well, I thought we could talk.”

“About?” she dragged out the word.

“When I saw you again, after all this time, I realised what an idiot I’ve been.”

“What do you mean?”

“Obviously we’re busy, we’ve both got jobs and it’s always harder to meet up. But I regret that so much. After...what happened at Hogwarts, you were my rock, I always felt normal around you, as if nothing had happened. We were able to carry on with our lives like we had planned. When I didn’t see you, I would lie awake all night with that image of you beside me in the hall. It would never go away.”

“Why have you never told me any of this?”

“I’ve been too scared to reveal anything. I didn’t want to bring anything up, because who would want to be with someone who is still stuck in the past?”

“I would. Fred, you’re not alone in this. I’ve always felt the same. I visited you all those times because my mind would make me think that I never saved you. And if I hadn’t....I don’t know how I would have gone on. Because if I didn’t have you in my life-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, please. We’ve been through so much that we shouldn’t have. But we’re here now, together again.”

Fred held her hand, slowly interlocking their fingers. They both looked down, butterflies erupting in their stomach. The pair glanced at each other, quickly looking away when they realised how close their faces were.

“Why are we acting like kids at school again?” (Y/N) laughed.

“You’re asking the guy who owns and runs a joke shop with his brother, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped being a kid.”

“We did, once.”

“(Y/N), we don’t have to think about that anymore. It’s in the past.”

“Freddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember the last time we were in a situation like this? When you actually had the courage to ask me to the Yule ball?”

“And we went as friends?”

She nodded.“Yep. You know, I was a little disappointed when you added that part.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was sort of hoping you would ask me out as well. Then when you said that, and I just gave up trying. You never noticed me flirting anyway.”

“I never asked you because I never knew. And you also had guys after you so I didn’t think I had a chance.”

“Are you joking? Fred, no one else was wanting to date me.”

“Now you’re the one who is joking.”

“Well...”

“Well?”

“Let’s not make this more awkward than it already is.”

“Oh it’s awkward now?”

“Fred!” (Y/N) exclaimed but couldn’t help laughing along with him.

“No, no, I’m enjoying this.”

“Fred Weasley, after all this time being idiots and wasting time not being together...”

“What? Did you change your mind-”

(Y/N) didn’t know how to say it, instead closing the already small gap them and kissing him. Fred was shocked by how forward she was, but wasted no time kissing back. Her hands cupped his cheeks as Fred’s hands wound themselves around her waist. This had been long overdue. As they pulled away, breathless from the passionate kiss, Fred started to chuckle.

“What is it?” (Y/N) asked.

“Mum is gonna scream when she finds out about this.”

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley x reader #weasley twins #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter one shot #harry potter x reader #hogwarts #george weasley #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #george weasley one shot #george weasley x reader

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worminstuff · 3 years

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The Balcony of the Treehouse Pt.5

sleepy bois x reader au

warning: cigarettes and smoking

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“Tommy no! Leave Tubbo alone!” Phil scolded his son. Tommy was currently tugging on the straps of Tubbos overalls, and Tubbo seemed a bit annoyed.

Sam chuckled at the two boys, shaking his head. “He's alright, he’ll tell Tommy off if he needs to.”

Phil nodded, “right.”

“What's got you all stressed?” Sam asked, his face full of worry for his friend.

Phil and Sam became really close friends after Tommy and Tubbo seemed to really enjoy being friends. They were like dad pals! Phil loved having a friend that was also a father so he had someone to talk things only another dad would understand.

“My older ones are going through this weird teenager thing and i want to help them i just don't know how.'' Phil sighed and looked down at his coffee.

“Ah okay, well did they fight or?” Sam asked him.

“Sort of. Techno and Wilbur both have..feelings..for y/n, I think. And I think it's really only affected Wilbur in the worst ways so far.” he took a long sip of his coffee.

“Well has he gotten to talk it out yet?”

“With me, yes.”

“How about with Y/n?” Sam said, pointing a finger at phil.

Phil looked up at Sam, suddenly realizing something.

“No, but that might be a good idea. Surely I can't sit them down to do it though that would be far too awkward, right?” Phil was racking his brain for ways to fix this dilemma.

“Why not just give them some time alone and see if they'll fix it themselves? They are teenagers”

“But I can almost never get Techno away from Y/n and Wilbur would never talk with Techno there..” Phil leaned back, almost defeated.

“Or! How about Techno comes and meets Bo? I feel like they would get along well and techno wouldn't be home. Y/n can babysit? Maybe you could even ask Will to help her?

Phil grinned wildly at Sam, “You my friend, are a genius!”

Sam laughed, he was about to thank Phil when suddenly there were yells from near the front door.

“Calm yourself rugrats!” Y/n was laughing as she was getting bombarded by tommy and tubbo both of them excitedly jumping around her.

As she walked through them to the table with Sam and Phil, the boys followed closely.

“Morning! Are we having a dad meeting or?” she pointed at the two of them.

“Sort of.” Phil laughed. “Do you and Techno have plans today?” Phil asked, Y/n looked up from the small boys tugging at the flannel that was hanging loosely on her shoulder.

“No, not that I know of. Is he awake yet?” Y/n looked to the living room to see if he was sitting on the couch.

“He's still sleepin.'' Tommy said.

Y/n looked down to him, “how about we go wake him up?” she said grinning,

Tommy's hands shot up in the air as he yelled in agreement, running down the hall to Techno's room, Tubbo following behind him. Y/n shook her head with a small laugh, following them.

Once she made it to Techno's doorway, she barked out a laugh. Clutching her stomach she laughed as tommy and tubbo were jumping up and down on top of techno.

Groggily, he picked his head up, then his arm, and started spotting the kids. Tubbo and Tommy screeched, as he grabbed their feet, making them fall as he started tickling them.

“Okay now get out of my room.” he said as he nudged them off his bed. The boys slid off his bed, running from the room giggling manically.

“Morning pinky.” Y/n said, still stood in the doorway. Techno groaned, falling back onto his pillow. He hadn't really slept that well and he very much wanted to go back to sleep.

“I think Phil has plans for us today.” Y/n said plopping down on techno's bed, laying sideways across his legs.

Techno grabbed a pillow from behind his head and slammed it on top of her. She grabbed the pillow and threw it back at him.

“I'm serious! He asked if we had anything planned.” she frowned.

“We don't.” he mumbled.

Y/n picked her head up and glared at him, “Not with that attitude! Get out of bed lazy.” Y/n picked herself up off Techno's bed and left, giving him some time to wake up.

Back in the kitchen, Phil and Sam were listening to Tommy and Tubbo as Tubbo was telling Tommy all about his bee friend. (Tubbo found a bee in his backyard that morning.)

Just as Y/n sat at the table techno walked into the dining room groggily. He made his way over to y/ns chair standing behind it and poking her.

“Up. get up” he mumbled, his morning voice gravelly.

“What why?” Y/n questioned looking up at him.

“I wanna sit. Move. make me breakfast.” Techno patted her hair annoyingly, there were no chairs left since there were only 5 chairs at the table.

“They really are best friends huh?” Sam joked, looking at phil.

Phil nodded with a laugh as Y/n was reaching her arms behind her trying to hit him off.

“Speaking of, I have propositions for you two.” Phil said, turning his body towards them in a very dad like way.

“I'm listening.” Techno said, his hands pushing Y/ns head as she tried to pry his hand away.

“How about a day apart for once?” Phil said hastily.

Techno and Y/n froze, then glanced at each other.

“What for?” Techno's eyes were narrow, very suspicious.

Y/n dramatically put her wrist to her forehead, “Separate us?! How could you!”

Techno looked down at her, unamused. She picked her head up and looked at phil. “I'm down. What we doin?”

Techno snorted a small laugh. She was genuinely the weirdest person he'd met.

Both the fathers laughed at the pair for a moment. They acted like siblings.

“How would you feel about meeting my son today? Sam said, looking at the pink haired boy. Tubbo perked up hearing his father talk, thinking it was about him.

“He's right there, I've met him.” Techno said in a very obvious tone as he pointed at Tubbo. Tommy stood up in his chair trying to bite the finger of his older brother as it was only inches from his face. Techno retracted his hand quickly looking at Tommy with a disgusted face.

“Not that son, Tubbo has an older brother and he's your age.” Sam said.

Techno nodded and shrugged, “Sounds..fun.” he was hesitant. He wasn't fond of people that weren't..Y/n.

“And Y/n, we were wondering if you'd babysit while we all go.” Phil said, placing a soft hand on Y/n’s shoulder. He knew what she was about to say,

“Alone? Both of them?” Y/n looked to the boys who both gave her award winning grins, looking almost innocent. She narrowed her eyes at them jokingly and they giggled.

“Okay fine. BUT,” she looked up at techno who was still standing behind her chair, “You have to promise you won't be weird.” she looked at Phil pointing an accusing finger, “don't let him be weird.”

Phil chuckled and nodded. Him and Sam continued their previous conversation, trying to think where to take the boys.

Techno rested his arms on the back of Y/ns chair as he was about to start nagging for breakfast again, when Tubbo got to her first.

“Y/n do you like bees?” Tubbo asked her.

Y/n smiled, slightly confused. “I do...why?”

“We like bees.” Tommy said.

“We?” Techno chimed in.

Tommy rolled his eyes and stared at techno with a taken aback expression as if Techno had asked the most stupid question he could come up with.

“Don't look at me like that.” Techno rolled his eyes and gave Tommy a flick to his nose. Tommy gasped, very offended.

Y/n laughed loudly as Techno learned off her chair standing straight so he could go make himself some breakfast.

“You know, if you'd like, you can take them to your house.” Phil said as he leaned over to talk to her. He had a small fatherly smile on his face.

Y/n was confused, why would tubbo and tommy wanna go to her house?

“You've got all your paint, and stuff. Plus Tommy's never been there so it would be like a new adventure. You don't have to do it the whole time, Wilbur will be back in a while so you all can go do something when he gets back.” Phil shrugged.

“Hm..alright. Does he know he's gonna be babysitting?” Y/n knew Wilbur hated it when he didn't know where everyone was or people surprised plans on him.

“I'll shoot him a text, don't worry. Hey techno? Gonna be ready to go in a bit?”

Techno stood in the doorway upon hearing his name called, his hand on his stomach scratching and a piece of toast hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

“Nevermind. Go shower.” Phil said, shaking his head at his own son.

Techno rolled his eyes and walked through the dining room to go do as his father asked, like a good son.

Tommy slid off his chair and made his way over to Y/n, she looked down at him with a small smile.

“What's up?” she said wondering why he's getting down from his chair.

“Are you gonna watch me and Tubbo today?” he asked

“I am yes” she raised her eyebrows

Tommy whispered, “We should get Tubbo a bee.”

Y/n was confused, a bee?

Instead of questioning him, Y/n only nodded.

Y/n sat quietly as Tommy made his way back to his seat next to his best friend. She was sitting silently when she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket.

She thought it might've been Techno asking for a towel or something weird, but she was very wrong.

Wilbur: So we’re babysitting?

It took Wilbur 13 minutes to compile that one message and send it. He spent five of those minutes staring at her contact name in his phone.

y/n: seems like it, is that alright?

Wilbur: course it is. Why wouldn't it be?

Wilbur watched as the typing bubbles floated above the letter keys on his screen before they disappeared.

y/n: no reason, just curious.

Y/n slid the phone back into her pocket since techno was back in the dining room, and behind her chair again.

Phil told her his whole shpeal about no fire and all that, let Wilbur do the driving if we go anywhere and to not let tommy and tubbo be alone for longer than 2 minutes. After assuring him everything would be fine, Sam techno and Phil left.

Y/n looked at the small children who were staring at her expectantly.

“How do we feel bout an adventure?” she said making jazz hands.

Both boys cheered, “Okay then go get your shoes you gremlins.” she shooed them towards the door where their shoes were sitting beside the door.

Both boys clumsily sat on the floor and started putting their shoes on with Y/n standing and watching them.

y/n: what time are you gonna be back?

Wilbur: soon. Why? Is everything okay?

y/n: everything is fine, were just taking a walk to my house so

Wilbur: ill head over there when I get back then.

Y/n sent a thumbs up just as she felt tubbo tugging on her pant leg, she lent down to his level and he not so quietly whispered towards her ear.

“Tommy can't tie his shoe.”

“He can't? Why didn't he say something?” Y/n whispered back, playing along.

“He's embarrassed”

“I am not!” Tommy yelled as he heard Tubbo’s harsh whisper. Tommy was sat frustrated with tangled shoelaces in his hands.

Y/n sat on the floor in front of him detangling his shoe laces, and then showed him how she ties her shoes so he could try. Eventually he got it and they were ready to hit the sidewalk.

“I've never been to your house Y/n.” Tommy said.

Tommy was on her left, holding one of her hands, and Tubbo was on her other side, holding her other hand.

“I know you haven't.” she said with a small chuckle.

“I didn't know you had a house.” he said

Y/n looked down at him, taken aback by his statement.

“W- you- you didn't think I had a house? Where do you think I go when I'm not at your house then?” she laughed as she let go of his hand to grab her keys from her pocket once they reached her front door.

“Outside.” he said. He just thought she slept outside?

She chose not to question him further since she was already confused by his child thoughts.

Once her front door was open, all three of them stared into her fairly empty house. All the lights were off, and there wasn't much furniture. But there was a sudden faint meow off in the distance.

Tubbo and Tommy beamed, running into the house.

“Cat! Where is cat?” Tommy said, looking at Y/n frantically.

“Probably in my room, but he's shy, so don't be all crazy.” Both boys nodded at her, eyebrows down and faces serious. They were on a mission now.

She started her way to her bedroom with the boys following closely. Once they made it to her doorway, low and behold, there was a small ginger cat sitting on her bed.

On top of a certain sweater.

“Hey front door was open, I locked it but- oh cat.” Wilbur said, now standing behind Y/n.

Y/n sort of stared at him for a moment. He looked...she didn't know if she particularly wanted to say it... hot.

He was wearing black ripped jeans, a dark green crewneck and a black beanie and not to mention, he had eyeliner on. Eyeliner. It was smudged, but still neat. And it looked good. His hands were in his pockets as well.

“When did you get a cat?” he asked.

“Wilbur!” Tommy exclaimed, taking his hands off the cat on her bed to run and give his brother a hug. Wilbur placed a soft hand on his head as Tommy hugged his leg. His eyes were still on Y/n.

“I um.. I found him.” she said sheepishly.

“Do your parents know?” he said, eyes narrow.

“....no.” she winced. Wilbur sighed and shook his head. Tommy had let go of his leg and climbed back onto Y/ns bed with Tubbo to pet the orange cat.

“Well what's its name?” he walked into her room, and over to the bed, bending his knees to also pet the cat.

“I've” Y/n snorted, “I've been calling him bonk actually.”

“Bonk?” Wilbur looked appalled, but entertained.

“He bonks his head a lot.” she shrugged.

“Right. And..is this?..” he pointed to the sweater the cat was on.

Y/ns eyes widened. Wilbur laughed and shook his head. Standing up again. He walked past her a bit, tugging her arm a little so he could pull her into the hall.

“I really need to know, are you and my brother..serious?” he was hesitant.

Y/n thought really hard for a moment. “I don't..I don't fully know or understand..but i don't think we are. We haven't talked about it really.” she didn’t look into his eyes.

Wilbur nodded, he placed a finger on her chin so she'd look at him.

“Hey. don't..don't stress over it. And don't worry about me and him. Just worry about you and how you feel alright?” his voice was really soft, his eyes were moony. Y/n nodded. She was confused why he was so calm, as if he wasn't upset the other night at dinner, and the few days she hasn't seen him.

Wilbur's heart melted as he looked at her for a second longer. He looked over her shoulder into her room and at the two boys they were babysitting,

“I've never actually seen your room, you know.” Wilbur said as he watched Tommy scour around her room, looking for anything that caught his eye. He had a cd in his hand.

“You haven't? Really?” she asked.

“I've watched you climb out of it.” he smirked pointing to the window. Wilbur had helped her sneak out before, only once but it did happen.

Y/n shook her head, a strawberry like dust on her cheeks. Wilbur beamed.

Y/n was looking at his pants for a moment when she noticed a box in his front pocket.

She pointed at it and shot him a questioning look.

He kissed his teeth, giving her a knowing look. He expected her to be angry or something but she only looked away. As she glanced at her bed, Tubbo was laid next to the cat, his small hand resting on the cat's side. Both were asleep. Tommy was sitting on the bed, lazily blinking.

“You're both tired? Already?” her voice was soft, she didn't want to seem like she was mad or anything because if she could get those two to nap. She was gonna do it.

Tommy nodded, and she gave him a small nod. She grabbed two blankets and some extra pillows from her closet. She draped a small blanket on Tubbo, and another on Tommy once he laid back. She closed the blinds, so it was nice and dark and her and Wilbur slowly made their way away from her room.

She walked ahead of him into the kitchen, and hopped up on the counter. He stood across from her.

Wilbur looked around, “When was the last time your parents were home?” he looked at the empty living room.

“Which one?” she said softly.

“Either?”

“My mom was here like two weeks ago I think.” she kicked her legs back and forth a little.

Wilbur's eyes bulged a little. Two weeks?

“What do you do here then?”

“Um..sleep? And feed the cat? I don't know.. It's sort of nice. Really quiet, I can do whatever.”

Wilbur nodded, pulling the small box of cigarettes from his pocket.

“Is this alright?” he hesitantly asked, “it's fine if it's not.”

“No your good, just open the window.” she pointed to the window behind him above the sink. He opened the window and pulled one of the cigarettes from the white box, placing it between his lips as he lit it. Exhaling the smoke he inhaled.

He held it out to her and she stared at it for a moment. He took a step towards her, almost standing between her legs.

“Have you ever..?” he tilted his head slightly. Y/n shook her head.

He set his hands beside her leg on the counter and took a long drag, then flicked some of the ashes off into the sink. She stared at him, he was genuinely so gorgeous.

“You look conflicted?” Wilbur leaned away from her.

She nodded, “er..just a little. I'm feeling..nostalgic.” it was the only way she could describe how she felt at the moment without confusing him. Little her would be screaming right now.

“I think you should come with me when i go see my friends next time.” Wilbur said, looking into her eyes as he took another deep drag from the cigarette in his hand. She could barely pay attention to what he was saying.

“Why's that?” she tilted her head. Wilbur really didn't want to let himself get caught up in her again, but he couldn't help it.

He shrugged.

“It would be fun.” his grin was contagious.

She giggled as he blew a bit of smoke in her face, not nearly enough to annoy her or make her uncomfy. But enough to make her laugh.

Maybe it wasn't the worst idea to spend some more time with will.

514 notes · View notes

sope-and-shine · 4 years

Text

Lost and Found

-> Namjoon x Reader -> Soulmate!AU // Fluff -> 6.2k (This fic was at 6,199 before post, and I couldn’t let that happen) -> Summary: In a world full of soulmates and soul marks, you just had to get stuck with the dynamic duo. -> Warning(s): none // maybe just fluff

A/N: I suggested the name to Belle as I was drafting the post, and she said she’d sue me if I didn’t use it.

ALSO! A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO BOTH @multycoloredtaco and @purpletigertaetae for reading this and giving me some really good feedback! I love you both SO MUCH!

* * *

Soulmates have always come in several different shapes and sizes. They’ve always appeared to each other in various ways. Your mother and father met by their own personal song that only the two knew of, one that played when they spared a thought to the other. Your aunt had found your uncle with a timer on her wrist, and your grandpa had the unfortunate fate of meeting your grandmother while catcalling her. According to him, it was a very eventful day, but at least her words to him finally made sense. Everyone in your family - besides your great aunt who hasn’t aged since the late 1890s - has had the amazing luck of finding their soulmate. Not everyone gets the luxury of being with their soulmate how they planned to. You’re actually friends with a shop owner who lost his soulmate about a year ago and hasn’t seen any color since. You honestly couldn’t imagine the pain he’s been through. Thankfully, your soulmate mark was not as painful.

It was just extremely annoying.

As a child, you never questioned the items that would appear in your room, thinking of them as odd gifts that your parents or your brother would leave for you. You were no stranger to finding a single sock under your bed, the occasional candy bar tucked away in your backpack, or the odd action figure that you would take to your brother thinking it was his. It wasn’t until the first homework assignment with ‘Kim Namjoon’ scrawled at the top that you began to think something wasn’t right. And that was only the beginning of what was to come.

As the years went by, more and more random items began appearing in your room at your parents house, your dorm in college, and finally your very own apartment. Each item you placed in boxes under your bed as a way to keep a piece of him with you until you could find him. However, you never imagined how forgetful and chaotic your soulmate could really be. You have everything! Clothing items, more homework assignments, various books, glasses, baby photos, and you even have a random girl’s phone number! You were tempted to call her when you first found it, but you figured that would be too weird. Instead, you continued to organize everything under your bed in hopes of giving it all back to him when you would finally meet.

Of course, you were a victim to your soulmate mark as well. Many jewelry items had disappeared from your room without a trace as a result. Hoodies, stuffed animals, and even a bra that you could’ve sworn you put in your gym bag - part of you hoped he’d hide it away because not only was it a cute bra, it was also expensive. Recently though, you’ve both been a lot more responsible. You haven’t seen any new items appear in your apartment for almost a month, and with your soulmates track record of losing 11 items in one day, a month was a huge record on his part. But you were starting to miss the gifts that would give you clues to him.

After you found out what your soulmate mark really was, you started looking forward to what would be left in your room next. Of course, it wasn’t always a win on your part, and sometimes what he lost was very questionable, but it always made you laugh when another item appeared in your room. At first, it was weird to think about someone else’s stuff appearing in your room with no prior warning, but it made you feel special to know that he was ultimately giving you pieces of himself every time he let something out of his sight. They made your long days more bearable. It makes you wonder if he’s the type of person to shower you with gifts when you feel upset or just to show his affection when he felt it was necessary. Especially on a rough day like today.

There was nothing wrong with your job, you loved everything about it! Life as a lead optician was actually a very rewarding job in the end. Helping others choose the best glasses for their face and individual personalities was one of your favorite parts, you loved watching little old ladies try on vibrant, colorful frames to feel youthful. They’re always very excited to see clearly again. Then there are all the little kids who would sit down with you to get glasses for the first time, and the look on their faces when they finally got to see the world clearly was heartwarming. Their soft smiles and wide eyes filled with amazement always made you feel a little softer inside. However, not everyday was a good day, and today was really not a good day.

Everything was going perfectly fine until the 3:30 appointment showed up at 5:00 after the doctor had already left for the day and demanded to be seen. The doctor’s technician was so scared trying to explain to the patient that they’d have to reschedule their appointment, and the poor thing was just trying not to cry over the one person who couldn’t understand how society works. Obviously, as the lead optician on duty you took over, but this patient was one of the most inconsiderate people you’d ever had to deal with. Demanding to be seen, demanding to buy glasses with an old prescription, demanding to speak to a manager - which at this point was actually you, so done and done - and just cursing up a storm at you and your fellow coworkers who all tried to help explain. The whole ordeal just took way longer than it ever should have to deal with, and it probably took at least 25 years off of your life.

“Why do people feel that they need to be rude to get what they want?” Soohyun had asked you, “Do they think it’ll just magically fix everything?”

You had agreed, “It’s like they think you’re really just messing with them. Like, “Oh no, sir! You’re correct! I apologize for the inconvenience, let me pull that out of my ass for you!” Though maybe not appropriate for the work environment, you’d at least made her day just a little better with your humor.

On days like today, a nice warm shower and a cuddle pile with all of the pillows and plushies that cover your bed made everything much better when nothing new appeared in your room. If the odd gifts the universe left from your soulmate couldn’t cheer you up, then you’d do it yourself. And that you did. Nothing felt better than the warm water washing away the day’s pain and suffering, the delicate fragrance of the coconut shampoo you splurged on easing your worries down the drain. The floral body lotion and leave-in-conditioner you’d bought on the same shopping excursion also help your body relax, their scents so intoxicating to you, that you almost topple over onto the tiled floor of your bathroom from the instant pleasure they pull from you. Instead, you make your way to your bed, adorned in your comfiest PJs and fluffiest socks.

However, you weren’t expecting to land on something so hard and uncomfortable when you plopped face first onto your sheets.

“What the heck?” Pushing yourself onto your knees and pulling back the covers, you find a small, golden trophy resting comfortably in the warmth of your sheets. On all sides it reads, ‘MNET Asian Music Awards’ with a small plaque reading, ‘2017 MNET Asian Music Awards: Artist of the Year’ at the bottom of one side. It takes you a moment to understand fully what you hold in your hands before it actually hits you.

Your soulmate is an idol.

A forgetful idol if he lost such an important award, but at least this gave you a lead as to who your soulmate is besides one of the most common surnames and a few measly pairs of mismatched socks.

Setting the award to the side, you grab your phone from your nightstand and unlock it, clicking on your browser and typing away. You look up the artist of the year from 2017 and find the top result to be a boy band called BTS. According to Google’s nice little summary and AllKPOP’s top article, they seemed to be pretty famous. Of course, you’ve heard of them before, and if you heard one of their songs then there was a good chance you’d probably recognize it! But you’ve never really been one for boy bands. You were more into kdramas if you were to be completely honest, they’re definitely your guilty pleasure and way more your speed than handsome young men dancing on stage in front of screaming girls trying to get in their pants. Could you really blame them? No. Not at all. Given the chance, you’d take it, but it wouldn’t be anything special if it wasn’t your soulmate.

Your soulmate.

Namjoon.

Changing your question, you search for ‘Kim Namjoon BTS’. If he actually pops up, then that would mean you actually know who he is.

Finding the nerve to press search, you are bombarded with three pictures above a description of him right off the bat - You hate to admit it, but soulmate or not, he’s definitely handsome. You click on a random site you hope will give you some useful information about the man who’s most likely your soulmate and are immediately redirected to something called K-Profiles. The site itself starts off with a group picture of all the members, followed by their names below it, and their social media handles under that. You’d have to look them up later.

The first member you come across is your soulmate himself. He has his blonde head resting on top of his arms with a soft, dimpled smile as he stares right back at the camera. Eyes locked onto his through the screen, you can feel your heart speeding up just from looking at him. You can’t help but smile back at him as if he can actually see you. As if he were right there ready to come out and say ‘hi’.

He’s absolutely breathtaking, and it isn’t even him.

You continue your hunting, scrolling further down to learn as much as you can about him. How old he is, when he was born, where he was born, what his favorite color is, you want to know it all! You learn that he’s the leader of the group, that he used to be known as Rap Monster before he changed it - that USB in the box under your bed made a lot more sense now. You learn that he has a sister, and that he and his band members are advocates for UNICEF, and that this man was so incredibly intelligent yet also known as the ‘god of destruction’ to those around him. But also listed on his profile is his soulmate mark.

“As said in a V-Live where RM explained a stuffed animal he kept on his desk, anything RM loses will appear with his soulmate and vice-versa. He has yet to meet his soulmate.” You read. You’ve lost quite a few stuffed animals to Namjoon, hopefully, it wasn’t an embarrassing one that would haunt you later.

You come to the end of his profile and to the top of another handsome man, yet you don’t scroll down. You haven’t learned enough. You need to know more about him, about how you can meet him. You have to know more! And that’s how you find yourself still up at 5am the next morning still wide awake watching yet another video interview of your soulmate just to hear his voice. A part of you is embarrassed for staying awake all night for some guy, but another part of you can’t let it go when you’re so deep already.

* * *

You called into work after your late night-early morning escapade, telling them you caught something from one of your friends and wouldn’t be in for the next few days. There was no way you were going anywhere with the sleep you just got, and it wouldn’t be fixed in one day either. Even after sleeping the morning away you were still tired from your late night-early morning endeavor. It’s not like you really cared though, you had just found out who your soulmate was. And unlike a lot of other people in the world, you had an entire collection of videos dedicated to just your soulmate and his passion.

It didn’t take long for you to dig your nose back into the screen of your phone just to watch him make that gorgeous, dimpled smile. There were so many videos where he talked about you, sharing some of the items you had lost with his fans like they were his best friends. He looked so proud to be showing off your things, and the look in his eyes when he’d get lost in his own thoughts just looking at them made your heart melt.

You’d heard your mom and dad talk about how happy they were to have a special song just for the two of them. Your mom used to tell you all about the day your father tracked her all the way from the grocery store, pushing through the crowd like a love interest in a kdrama because he heard her humming their song to herself. At a young age you always thought it was sweet and wanted to meet your soulmate just like your mom had, but you eventually realized as you got older that a strange person following you home is not something you want. However, now you kinda wished it could work like that, seeing that your soulmate was practically untouchable.

Of all the people in the world, you just had to get stuck with a celebrity with millions of girls from all over the world fawning over him. Getting chased in the streets must be on this guy’s workout regimen by now! How were you supposed to get anywhere near him without spending over $1,000 just to look at his face?

“How much are those fan-meet things?” You ask yourself aloud. Innocent enough, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the entire process that came with going to just one fansign. This wasn’t something you could just buy a ticket for. No. You had specific steps that you had to follow or you wouldn’t even stand a chance. There were so many steps that you were tempted to just find his company and blast music until security came to take you away. Maybe you’d at least get to meet him when they filed a restraining order.

No. You HAD to meet him. You haven’t saved all of his lost things just for you to chicken out now.

So, you made a fancafe account and waited for their next promotion to purchase an album, you waited for the lottery winners to be announced, and you almost doubled over when you saw your name on the list from the store. You thought 3 months was long enough, but the 24 hours before the event were the longest hours of your life. So long that you couldn’t even sleep!

That’s where the wrench comes in.

You hadn’t meant to stay up so late at all, but you were really excited to finally meet the man that’s been losing everything he touches - especially now that he’s started losing air pods under your bed. So, when you woke up at 10:30am for the fansign that started at 11, you knew you’d messed up.

You messed up bad.

Of all the irresponsible things you could’ve done, staying up late was not the one you should’ve chosen to do. Now, you’d have to wait even longer to see him. Maybe the universe was right to give you both the worst soulmate mark known to man.

It wasn’t like waiting for the next fansign was bad, but it wasn’t the best either. Everyday that passed was another day that you had to watch him through a screen. Seeing his dimpled cheeks smile at the camera - at you - making your heart race. He was so close to you, but he was so out of reach. When the next fansign did come around, you had to make sure you made it on time so you could see it in person for yourself.

That’s what you told yourself.

To your credit, you almost did do that! But you had no idea there would be so much traffic. Not only that, but you’d tripped and dropped the box of things to return to him on the street and had to pick it up before anyone saw what it was you were holding. Because of those small issues, you made it to the venue five minutes after they had closed the doors.

“Please, I’m only five minutes late!” You beg, breathing heavy and labored. You stare at the worker just doing her job with high hopes that she would have some sort of empathy for you, but her face showed no remorse.

“If you wanted to be let in, then you should have been on time.” She scolds, closing the doors on you and leaving you outside to wallow in self pity once more.

At least the first time you’d messed up you were in the comfort of your own home where you could cry over your failure. Now, you were left in the open for everyone to see your mistake. You were so close too. He was just behind the doors. Waiting to see the adoring faces of his fans that you should be a part of.

Yet you’re on the streets.

* * *

“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?”

“What makes you say that?” You turn to your friend from your seat on the ground outside of the shop you’d purchased your album from, dressed in a light hoodie with a coffee in your hand. The light of day just peaking through the cracks between the buildings as the street lamps turn off for a new day.

At this point in your journey to meet your soulmate, you weren’t going to take any more chances. The store didn’t open for another 3 hours, and the event started an hour and a half after that, but you were going to be sure you had your ticket and made it to the venue on time. You didn’t care how early you were, you were going to see Namjoon if it was the last thing you did.

The poor, tired woman seemed to pick up on your indifference to your change in behavior and sighs, “Nothing in particular. I’m just concerned that maybe you’re taking this to the extreme now.”

“I’ve tried and failed three times already, Bomi. I cannot miss another chance to meet them!” You explain, taking a sip from your warm cup.

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that they’re just a boy band and you shouldn’t get so excited over them. They all have soulmates anyways.” Of course she didn’t know that you were going because one of them was your soulmate, but you couldn’t risk anyone finding out and telling your soulmate before you could tell him.

“I know that, but it’s worth it!” All the hours you’d spent waiting, watching their new content, reading their tweets and various posts from other social media wishing you could see him in person for just a moment. This was the fourth attempt, and you didn’t want to continue this cycle of hit and miss. “I’m not missing it this time.”

“Well, waiting outside of this shop so early just to get a ticket that’s already yours is absurd!”

“You didn’t have to come with me.” You grumble. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that. You were very much aware of the fact that it was insane. It was something you thought about every time you failed to make it into the venue! Having her reiterate what you already knew did not make it any easier.

However, your acquaintance wasn’t having your response, “I did. You blackmailed me into coming with you so you’d actually do it right, remember?”

The vague memory of sending her an embarrassing picture you had as a way to convince her to come flashes through your mind. So maybe your methods were unconventional, but they worked. “That’s not important!”

You both continue to wait by the store’s entrance, making light conversation as more people begin to show up for their own tickets. Of course, you knew they’d be here, that’s why you left extra early to be there first. It was a good thing you did too, because as the time ticked on and the line grew longer, it became obvious a lot of fans had purchased their albums from the same store you had. Even as the store owner arrived to start their day, not at all surprised by the line that had formed for them, there were still fans lining up for their tickets.

But in the end, you were first to arrive and receive your ticket, and that made you one of the first to the venue.

“Alright, we made it. This is where I leave you.” Bomi hikes her bag further onto her shoulder and turns to face you one last time before she leaves, “Don’t make a fool of yourself in there. And do not show them your airpod collection!”

‘Oh, I’m returning the airpod collection…’ You think to yourself, sending a quick wave goodbye to her.

Waiting for the doors to the venue to open didn’t take as long as you’d thought it would - security check taking even less time. You found your seat pretty easily as well, being placed on the left side of the empty table in the middle of the sea of chairs. Taking the time you have while everyone finds their seats, you take a peek inside of the box you’d brought to grab your album and just look at everything you’d brought to begin their return to Namjoon. You made sure to bring every pair of air pods you had found - and hadn’t sold on eBbay - a few old homework assignments, USB’s, pictures he’d taken through his pre-debut, and the trophy he’d misplaced that lead to your discovery.

Hopefully his band members wouldn’t be too upset with him.

You’d learned a lot about each of them over the two years you’ve spent trying to meet with Namjoon. So many times you’d been tempted to put yourself on the fan page or DM them on Twitter, but you were too afraid of being drowned out by other ARMYs or one of the other boys blocking you before Namjoon could see. No doubt they each probably had hardships of their own trying dodge fans claiming to be their soulmate. Watching as they each come to the stage individually, you could see why anyone would lie to call them theirs. You couldn’t deny how handsome they all were - you’d be lying to yourself if you said you thought they weren’t handsome - but no one could compare to your Namjoon.

If you get the opportunity to meet his stylist, then you’re going to give her the biggest hug for making him look this amazing! It was just a plain white, button down shirt tucked into a black pair of dress pants, but the top two buttons of his shirt undone and the grey, satin suit jacket with the addition of black, square glasses and his brown hair neatly parted to the left make him look like a god - should they exist. He takes your breath away, even if you’ve seen every picture and fancam you were able to find. The universe really said, “this one deserves the best” and threw you the biggest catch out there. You could only hope he enjoyed the simple pair of jeans and pastel yellow sweater you’d thrown on for the occasion.

It takes a while before they begin the meet and greet part, the boys introducing themselves and asking questions, letting their fan sites take pictures before they turn their attention to the individual fans as they pass them. With every moment that passes by, every row you watch stand and enter the line to the stage, you become more and more nervous. Of course, you knew your soulmate was truly Namjoon, but you were still terrified to reveal that truth in front of everyone. You’d seen a few announcements regarding the boys and their soulmates, talking about how their respective soulmate would be treated like another one of the boys and would be protected by BigHit as soon as they were found. You knew you’d at least have his company behind you, but…

What about his fans?

You can’t help but fester in your own thoughts, letting them consume you even as you make your way into the line with your box. You try your best to muster up the courage you need, but the looming presence of the table getting closer and closer makes your breathing harder. All you need to do is remain calm. They were just people.

The people who’ve spent almost 7 years with your soulmate.

And your soulmate himself.

No biggie.

“Ma’am.” The voice of the staff keeping the line interrupts your internal panic, pulling you back to reality. He points to the table where an excited Taehyung smiles eagerly at you with an empty space in front of him. “You’re next.”

“Yes! Thank you.” Reeling from embarrassment, you quickly kneel down to the space in front of the table. You give a small bow and hand over your album to the boxy-smiled boy in front of you, your hands shaking from how nervous you are. All you had to do was make it through 5 more boys and you’d meet your soulmate.

5 more people....

...and you’d meet your soulmate.

A hand lands on top of your own, “There’s no need to be nervous!” Taehyung is bright and happy, calmly running a thumb over the back of your hand as he uses the other to sign your album. His eyes shift from you to the paper and back to you, “You’re doing great~”

You felt a little bad for probably ignoring him. He must’ve been trying to introduce himself when he’d noticed you’d spaced out yet again. Yet here he was, acting as though it wasn’t even that big of a deal. Of course, he still had about 50 more people or so to have a minute conversation with, but he genuinely seemed to care. It made you feel more confident.

“Thank you.” You say, a smile gracing your lips. You were still nervous, but at least now you felt calm and somewhat collected to at least make it through the other members. You move onto Yoongi, then to Jeongguk, to Jin, to Jimin, and then to Hoseok. Once again, you’re feeling a little guilty about the time you spend with him. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to be in front of him, but your soulmate was less than 2 feet away from you looking like he walked out of a Vogue photo shoot with a happy little smile on his face. Hopefully, if all goes well you can apologize to him for being distracted.

The staff moves everyone along and your time finally comes. You bid Hoseok a quick thank you and goodbye and move yourself in front of Namjoon, his box tucked close to your body as a way to keep you grounded.

Namjoon takes your album from Hoseok before he turns his full attention to you, his dimples that you’d been obsessed with since you’d first seen them making an appearance. His dark brown eyes stare into your own, “Hi, what’s your name?”

You’re so entranced by the man in front of you that you almost don’t respond. You manage a quiet, “(Y/n)...” But you’re so stunned and breathless that you think about repeating it just to make sure he hears it.

“Really?” He asks. His eyes widen for just a moment, and you know he recognizes it from a homework assignment or a book you’d probably lost with your name in it. You watch his shoulders as they tense and then relax as if they’d never lifted in the first place. “I really like that name. It’s one of my favorites.”

You watch him turn to the album in front of him, looking for the page you’d like him to sign. Being in front of him now, you feel your confidence grow. You can’t help yourself, “Really? Is there a reason?”

“I’ve just always liked the name.” He says, looking up momentarily with a tight smile. He probably didn’t want to be too obvious about his soulmate - well, you - so fans wouldn’t go looking for you. That must be the one downside to the life of an idol. You watch him carefully, taking in the way he handles your album with care. You watch him flip through pages, his smile slipping for a confused frown. He looks at you, “You don’t have a question for me?”

You jump at the sudden realization that you hadn’t given him the box yet, “No! I do…” This was it. You look from him to the box you’ve clung onto for two years, “It’s inside the box.”

Carefully, you slide the box forward, feeling the nerves you’ve been feeling all day spring to life. He takes it from you with a grateful smile, probably expecting a bear or something you’d made yourself just for him. But judging by the look on his face, you can tell he wasn’t expecting to find the objects in front of him. His shocked face makes you chuckle.

“I’ve always wondered how one person can lose so many things. I understand homework and socks, the airpods, but an entire trophy, Namjoon? How do you lose a trophy?” You ask. You wait for an answer, but he looks as if he’s completely shut down. His jaw hangs open ever so slightly, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. You see a glisten in his eyes and your amusement turns to worry, “Are you okay?”

The leader turns to you, glistening eyes staring into your own. His mouth opens and closes and it looks like he’s trying to find the right words to say, “I-...I don-...oh my god, you’re actually here.”

You watch as the shine in his eyes turn to tears that slowly roll down his cheeks, his mouth struggling to decide if he wants to frown or smile. You’re more worried than anything, “Wah-! Don’t cry! Why are you crying?!” You reach for his hands that still rest on the sides of the box, mimicking what Taehyung had done for you when you first stepped up to the table. “Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says softly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. You’re still confused if he himself is happy or not, trying to make sense of why he’s crying when he just met you. You watch his eyes drift over you with an unclear expression. Was he happy? Was he sad? Were you supposed to be reacting the same way?

“You’re beautiful…” He says, teary eyes meeting your own.

“So are you.” You respond. It’s only after the words fall from your mouth that you realize what you said and you try to correct yourself, “Handsome! I meant to say you’re handsome! You’re very attractive in a very masculine way, but that’s not to say you don’t express femininity well when you choose to and you look good all the time and-” Amidst your struggle for the correct words, he’d begun to laugh at your own expense. Not how you imagined this meeting to go, you shrink back to your side of the table, “I’ll just stop talking.”

“No! Please, keep talking.” He begs, moving forward to come closer to you. He pulls on your hands that still connect across the table, squeezing to reassure you that he still wanted you to be near him. It felt so nice to have him hold your hands, so nice and comforting, that you must’ve missed the glistening in your own eyes, “Now you’re crying!”

Your hands pull from his to hide your face, “No I’m not, it’s just raining inside!”

As you try to wipe away your tears, you hear the voice of Jimin call over the speakers just off to the side of the table, “You’re not supposed to make the fans cry!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Namjoon defends. In all fairness, you did make him cry first, so this was probably fair.

Hoseok claps his hands together, his voice just subtly coming through the speakers as well, “This is so sweet! We’re all witnessing two soulmates meet for the first time!”

“It’s like a movie, but without the flower petals.” Taehyung adds, having a mic of his own on his side as well.

“Miss.” Another staff member appears next to you, only this time they’re offering a hand and a smile, “Could I have you come with me?”

You’re nervous at first, not sure if going with this staff member would be the best idea. However, the presence of Namjoon’s hand on your own once more draws your attention to his heartwarming smile, “It’s okay.”

You nod and stand, allowing the staff to lead you behind the table and into the hallway to a waiting area. They have you sit on the couch, assuring you that Namjoon and the others would be there to see you soon. This at least gave you a moment to collect your thoughts and come to the realization that you really just met your soulmate after so much hard work to get there. You’d thought plenty of times that you’d regret trying to meet him this way, but now you couldn’t be more elated that you actually got to speak to him and hold his hands. You made him cry - what were hopefully - tears of joy! Even as their manager sits down to make small talk with you while you wait for the end of the fanmeet, you can’t help but to feel as if you’re on cloud 9.

It’s not too long until you hear that the meeting has come to an end, making your heart rate speed up. Once again, you take a deep breath in and let it out, preparing yourself to face Namjoon again. Only when he does come in, you both just stare at one another. Him from the doorway with his members waiting behind him and you from your spot on the couch. You’d already met, you’d already held hands, but this...he was right there.

“Well, are you going to talk to her or just look at her?” Jin asks, a mischievous smirk gracing his features as he stares at the younger.

It would seem that the small jab at the leader was all he needed to push himself forward, legs moving swiftly across the room in long strides just so he can reach you. You stand, intending to meet him halfway, but he’s already pulling you into a much needed embrace before you even get the chance. His arms wrap over your shoulders, caging you close to his chest as he leans down to rest his head on your own. He smells so nice, and his embrace is so warm, they almost distract you from the wetness you feel on top of your head.

“Namjoon…?” You ask, worried you might make him cry more by asking.

The man himself pulls back, quickly moving to wipe his tears as if he hadn’t already cried in front of you already, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional right now.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute.” You assure him. You look down, feeling a bit embarrassed yourself, “Much cuter than showing up to your fansign with a bunch of your things.”

“How long have you known?” He asks.

“2 long and painful years.” You sigh. Thinking back on everything you’ve done since discovering who and where he was, you can’t help but be thankful it worked out this time around, “I’ve tried coming to a fan sign 3 times before this.”

“Couldn’t win a ticket?” Jeongguk asks from the side, a bottle of water in his hands.

Your sheepish smile turns into a strained one, “Yeah...we’ll go with that.”

Yoongi seems to pick up on your change in attitude, “Don’t tell me…”

“No wonder the universe put them together, they’re a match made in heaven!” Jin laughs, the sound being much more entertaining in person. The other members of BTS continue to talk amongst themselves, discussing the scene before them as well as how exciting the day had been. But Namjoon, instead, focuses all of his attention on you.

“Please tell me you’re free for the rest of the day.”

For once, you were more than happy to use your holiday time, “I’m free for the rest of the weekend.”

“Good.” He says, giving you another look at his beautiful, dimpled smile.

“Good...”

* * *

“So, what’s in the box?”

376 notes · View notes

littleabriel-blog · 3 years

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My Problem with Loki

Loki is a character beloved by many people. He has been for a decade now, although some people who read comics before the Marvel Cinematic Universe was a thing were fans of him long before the first Thor came out. Over the years since his appearance in that movie the character has gone through a lot of changes, evolving from a villain to an anti-hero both in the MCU and in the comics, the latter even killing off his original incarnation to reincarnate him in a younger body resembling Tom Hiddleston in the hopes that the comics could capitalize on his popularity in order to sell more books. That move, unfortunately, did not bear fruit, with Loki’s solo series being canceled after only five issues. However, Loki remained popular in the movies, so much so that when he was killed off in Infinity War, people were pissed.

As a result of his enduring popularity, Kevin Feige and company decided to give Loki his own solo series on Disney+ when the decision was made to create a string of MCU tie-in shows to supplement the movies, and boost subscription numbers to Disney’s new streaming service. Fans of the character rejoiced. Finally, our favorite character was going to be in the spotlight, and not be merely a supporting character for Thor and hopefully not a butt monkey for the Avengers like he was in the third act of the movie of the same name. WandaVision and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier had previously had well-received and successful debuts on that same platform, and it was hoped that Loki would do the same. Loki turned out to be the most successful of the Disney+ MCU shows that have come out so far, scoring highest in the ratings. As of this writing, it holds a 93% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an 8.5 on IMDb.

Those numbers, however, don’t reflect the entire audience and there were a lot of people who were not altogether happy with the product we received. Many people who had been hardcore fans of Loki since Tom Hiddleston first put on the horned helmet were not pleased, myself included.

The show wasn’t all bad. It did set up the multiverse, introduced Kang, introduced Mobius. The special effects were outstanding, a lot of the gags were hilarious, and we did get some character development from Loki before the spotlight fell away from him and he became all about panting after the real main character...more on that in a few.

So many things, however, were wrong.

If you liked the show, thought it was perfect, and were a fan of the romance, that’s perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a wrong opinion on a work of fiction. Everyone has their interpretations, everyone has their likes and dislikes, and there is nothing wrong with liking the show. There is also nothing wrong with not liking the show. This is a concept that people on both sides of the debate fail to understand, and I have witnessed flame wars, harassment from individuals on both sides, harassment of creators on social media from both sides, and various bits of biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted types of phobias on display. I have seen people accuse people who have different opinions on the show than them of “not being a true Loki fan” and stating that people who have certain interpretations of the character don’t “truly know Loki”.

I’m not here to do that, and I assure you, if you liked the show, that’s fine. You’re allowed to. I’m allowed to not like it, and I’m allowed to explained why I didn’t like it just as you’re allowed to explain why you did. As long as both of us are being respectful, expressing an opinion is good. There is expressing an opinion and offering constructive criticism, however, and then there is namecalling, trolling, and having a tantrum and accusing someone of being “aggressive” when they don’t share the same opinion you do.

There is a huge difference between saying “I find the character of Sylvie to be problematic, and here is why” and “I think fans of Sylvie are sick and need therapy”, and people need to learn the difference between the two. Unfortunately, you have people who have become very protective of their favorite characters and tend to take any criticism leveled at said characters personally. It’s basically “You don’t like them? Well then you don’t like me, and since you don’t like me, I don’t like you.” Which is, frankly, a dangerous mentality to have. We are talking about fictional characters, not real people, and there is no need to jump to the defense of someone who does not exist. It is those people who tend to demonstrate that they have unstable personalities and immaturity, and they are the ones I have started blocking on Twitter because, being an adult woman, I don’t have the patience to deal with immature nonsense like that.

So, if you read this and then decide you want to hunt me down to give me a piece of your mind, tell me that I’m not a “true” fan of Loki, and accuse me of whatever, don’t bother. This piece isn’t here for that. It’s here because I wanted to compile my thoughts and feelings in a way that would better for me to articulate. It’s more or less a venting mechanism, purely for my benefit. If someone else gets something out of it, fine. If the creators of the show happen to see it, which is very unlikely because A) I’m not exactly going to push it onto them on their social media to get them to read it and B) they already get bombarded with tons of opinions on the show on a daily basis and aren’t going to care about one more voice added to the mix, even one who has basically compiled a novel, then alright.

And it is a novel, because I have a lot to say about Loki. I have been a huge fan of the character since long before Tom Hiddleston began playing him. My first encounter with Marvel’s Loki came in the form of the X-Men comics, specifically The Asgardian Wars run. It’s available in trade, and you should check it out. I read that run when I was around 10 years old, and I enjoyed Loki as the bad guy in the two stories that make up the collection. The first has him creating a special wish fountain that has a monkey’s paw effect in that it imbues mortals with special gifts and powers, and has the potential to make Earth a better place, but at the cost of killing every magical person and being on Earth. The X-Men and Alpha Flight find out about this after a plane piloted by the wife of one of the X-Men happens to crash in the general location the fountain is located. The two teams go to investigate, Shaman and Snowbird who are both magical beings begin dying, it’s discovered Loki created the fountain in order to score brownie points with The Ones Who Sit Above In Shadow (a pantheon of deities who are basically the Gods to the Asgardians), and after a lengthy battle Loki is defeated, he shuts down the fountain under pressure from The Ones, and slinks back to Asgard with tail between his legs.

In the second story, set after the heroes of Earth had helped Asgard defeat Surtur, Loki’s attention is caught by Storm, who at the time was depowered. He kidnaps her and brings her to Asgard intending to use her to replace Thor as the Goddess of the Storm, and use her as a pawn to, what else, conquer Asgard and seize the throne.

I really enjoyed Loki then, and felt sorry that he never appeared in any other X-Men story, not even in an issue of the New Mutants, and that team boasted an actual Valkyrie (Danielle Moonstar) as one of its members. I was a kid at the time and read pretty much exclusively X-Men since those were the books my father purchased for me. I never felt right about asking him for other books since we were a family with money struggles and I didn’t want to be more of a burden by requesting Thor or Avengers comics--that, and I just didn’t find Thor or the Avengers all that interesting at the time, a sentiment shared by a lot of people until the first Iron Man made us actually care about Tony Stark. I wouldn’t have an opportunity to start reading more comics featuring Loki until I was an adult and able to visit comic book stores on my own. I read several runs that featured him as a character, including Ragnarok, the Broxton, OK run where Loki first appeared as a woman, Dark Reign, and finally Siege. I also went back and read Walt Simonson’s legendary run on The Mighty Thor, which I highly recommend.

Suffice it to say, I’ve been a fan of the character for a long time, and in fact when Tom Hiddleston was cast in the role for Thor, I remember thinking that he was too young. But then I figured it was Hollywood, of course they’re going to deage Loki so that he appears closer in age to his adopted brother in contrast to the comics pre-Siege where Loki was often drawn to look like he was as old as Odin and therefore could be Thor’s uncle or even father as opposed to brother.

Over the years I grew to enjoy the MCU’s version of the character, enjoy Tom Hiddleston in the role, and like most other people was greatly saddened by his death in Infinity War. Like other fans, I looked forward to his solo series and had high hopes for it. Hopes that were, unfortunately, dashed.

It Was Rushed

In the MCU, it took Loki years to go from troubled young god, to villain, to ambivalent ally, to anti-hero, to hero. Literally, years. Months had passed between the end of Thor and the beginning of Avengers during which Loki endured who-knows-what at the hands of Thanos. We don’t know exactly what still. The Loki series didn’t answer that, I guess because they didn’t want to devote precious screentime to an interesting backstory for what was supposed to be the main character when they could focus on something else instead. That something else will be elaborated on.

In Episode 1, Loki is still the villain from Avengers, something he would have remained as into The Dark World. It would take him being in Asgard’s prisons for a year and then him accidentally getting his adopted mother Frigga killed in order for him to begin to do a heel-face turn. From this, we can clearly see that a transition from ax-crazy bad guy to anti-hero is not going to happen overnight. For this person I shall call Ragnarok Loki, it was a process that took time. He suffered a complete mental breakdown while in Asgard’s prison, a fragile emotional state that was compounded by the anger and massive guilt he felt at Frigga’s death.

Even after that, he still hadn’t completely abandoned his villainous ways. At the end of The Dark World we find out that after faking his supposed death earlier in the movie, Loki has assumed Odin’s form and taken his place on Asgard’s throne. In Ragnarok, Loki is still sitting on the throne in Odin’s form, and shows no indication at all that he feels any remorse for giving his adopted father amnesia, stripping away his magic, and abandoning him on Earth to whatever fate he might meet. Loki remains a selfish bastard throughout Ragnarok until the third act, after Thor had treated him to a taste of his own medicine by sticking a taser on him and then giving him a speech about becoming predictable and complacent.

Loki’s arc was one that spanned four movies and six years, since in-universe there were a couple of years between The Dark World and Ragnarok. That meant that his character development took actual time and was realistic. It was one of the things that drew people to the character, the fact that he had a very relatable and believable redemption arc.

Compare that to Episode 1. In less than a day he goes from being the Loki that we saw in Avengers, batshit crazy, selfish, callous, and untrusting, to making personal confessions to a man he had just met only a couple hours previously and agreeing to help the organization that had arrested, stripped, imprisoned, tried, and almost executed him.

What?

I will give the show this: In Episode 2, he shows that he’s still up to his old tricks when he feeds Mobius and the agents all that horsecrap about how a Loki works in the Ren Faire tent, and then revealing that he plans to take over the TVA when he confronts his variant in the futuristic Wal-Mart. The weeping confession to Mobius, that I can’t really get over. How do you go from haughty, arrogant, and “trust is for children and dogs”, to “I don’t enjoy hurting people” in just a couple of hours? The show never indicated that it was a manipulation tactic on Loki’s part. Instead, we were basically told to believe that they became friends just that fast. That emotionally stunted and closed-off Loki made a connection with another person in a matter of hours. Makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, I like Mobius and feel he makes a good foil for Loki. I hope to see more of him in the future. I just have a tough time finding their friendship all that believable.

This would not be the only relationship in the show that happened too fast that we were forced to just buy, which leads me to Sylvie.

She’s the variant that the TVA had been hunting, that Mobius recruited Loki to help capture. And while I normally hate it when people ascribe a certain label onto a new female character because reasons (ones that are usually misogynistic), I think it fits rather well in Sylvie’s case.

Enter The Mary Sue

Mary Sue is a term that gets thrown around a lot. To sum up the meaning in very simple terms, it refers to a character who is too perfect to be believable. Mary Sues are often author-self inserts in fiction, they’re usually the love interest for at least one male hero and it’s usually the male hero the author will admit to having a crush on, their scenes usually are presented much more descriptively than those of the other characters, the story will revolve around them often at the expense of the development and plots for the other characters of the story, and they’re presented as beautiful, powerful, intelligent, beautiful, special, strong, beautiful, and desirable. Yes, beautiful is on the list more than once, and it’s deliberate.

The term comes from an old Star Trek parody fanfic, and while it is usually applied to original characters in fan fiction, the term has been used to describe characters in canon media as well. Some examples of characters who have been described as Mary Sues would include Bella from the Twilight books, Felicity from the show Arrow, Jaenelle Angelline from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Sookie Stackhouse from True Blood, Rey from the last Star Wars trilogy, and Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. Note I do not necessarily agree that those characters are Mary Sues, I have merely heard these characters referred to as Mary Sues, and when I look at them objectively I can kind of see where the accusations come from. Some other terms that can apply are Creator’s Pet and of course Author Self-Insert. Not all Mary Sues are Author Self-Inserts, but a lot of them are. Also, not all characters who can be labeled Mary Sues are female, though they often are. The male version of a Mary Sue is called a Marty Stu, and a couple of characters I’ve seen get ascribed that label include Harry Potter, Daemon Sadi from Anne Bishop’s The Black Jewel novels, Edward from Twilight, and Red Hulk from Marvel Comics. Even Batman and Wolverine haven’t been immune from the Marty Stu stamp, although you can argue that it does apply in their cases especially depending on who’s writing them. Sometimes it is painfully obvious they are author self-inserts...the aforementioned Bella is a good example. Others, you can only speculate on. And while there are theories going around that Sylvie is someone’s self-insert, we don’t have definitive proof of that.

There are good arguments, however, for her being labeled a Mary Sue and Creator’s Pet.

First are her powers. In the show we are told that Sylvie taught herself magic, especially her ability to “enchant”, the power to get into the minds of others and manipulate them. The fact that she taught herself would indicate that her education and skill in using magic should be lacking, right? She should not be as good as, say, someone who learned magic from his foster mother who herself was taught by Asgardian witches?

Yet in the show, Sylvie not only runs circles around Loki magically wise, she even teaches him a few tricks. This is startlingly in contrast to the comics. Loki’s Sylvie is partially based on the character Sylvie Lushton from the Young Avengers, a bad guy who was once a normal girl whom Loki imbued with powers before his death at the hands of the Sentry during the events of 2010’s Siege storyline. In the comics, Loki not only gave Sylvie her powers, but he was the one who taught her how to use them. Now, of course things in the MCU are not going to follow the way things are in the comics. MCU Loki is nowhere near as old as comics Loki and has so far not demonstrated the ability to give other beings powers. And MCU Sylvie is a composite of Sylvie Lushton and Lady Loki, which is also problematic, but we’ll get to that.

But the point is that Sylvie had no training. Her magic is some improvised slapped-together stuff that at best she picked up here and there and at worst she just pulled out of her ass. Now, knowing that, we’re supposed to buy that she can mop the floor magically wise with someone who was formally trained by a sorceress? And that furthermore, she can school him as well?

To make up for her lack of experience and knowledge, Loki is nerfed. Power wise and intellectually wise, he is nerfed. In Thor and Avengers Loki is smart, well-spoken, and a master manipulator. At one point he is able to turn all of the Avengers against one another, and while his magic has never been anywhere near the level it was at in the comics pre-Siege (after his resurrection, he was powered down and is currently nowhere near the powerhouse he had been prior to 2011) he was able to pull off some impressive displays of skill nonetheless. Shape shifting, illusion casting, it was a good repertoire.

In Episode 3, however...well, he does use teleportation to some impressive affect during his fight with Sylvie, but he still doesn’t get the upperhand. And he should. Loki is a better trained fighter, better trained in sorcery, and realistically should have at the least managed to incapacitate his variant. He doesn’t however, because the moment he meets Sylvie his IQ drops about 20 points. He falls easily for her tricks, makes laughable plans, gets drunk and draws too much attention when he knows that is a bad idea, and manages to get them both stuck on a moon that will soon be dust courtesy of the rogue planet about to crash into it. Loki has made some blunders in the various MCU movies he’s been in, mostly due to his own arrogance and tendency to underestimate his foes, but he’s not that stupid. In fact, in The Dark World he screams at Thor and calls him an idiot for drawing attention to themselves by hijacking an elven ship and crashing into every column and statue within a fifty-foot radius.

Where exactly is that smart, calculating, more careful Loki we know from the films? He’s been transformed and dumbed down, in an attempt to prop Sylvie up. It’s a tired trope, making the male character a dumbass in order to make the female character look good. Well, I should say male-presenting and female-presenting characters in this case, but their supposed gender fluidity really is not represented well and it’s completely contradicted later on, but we’ll get to that.

Anyway, making the male character stupid in order to make the female character look better by comparison is not empowering. It’s insulting. It implies that women are not smart or capable enough to meet men on equal footing, that the only way we can shine is not by virtue of our own strengths, but merely by making us look better than the men.

She doesn’t just outshine Loki intellectually and power wise, she outshines him period. The show from Episode 3 on becomes about Sylvie. She is the show’s main focus, and Loki? He’s relegated to the role of supporting character in the series that’s named after him. Supporting character, and love interest. From Episode 3 on, the show might as well be called Sylvie.

Now, some people will say that since Sylvie is a Loki, the show was indeed focusing on Loki. The problem is, the show is very inconsistent as to whether or not Sylvie really is a Loki or a different person entirely. I will explain more later, but the writers seem to change Sylvie’s identity to suit whatever narrative they want to present to the audience, including the pre-Pixar Disney romance they foist upon us.

The Romance, and why some find it gross

One major characteristic of the Mary Sue is that she always draws the romantic and sexual interest of the main male character, who may or may not be a Marty Stu himself. Oftentimes he’s not, and Loki does not fit the criteria of a Marty Stu by any stretch of the imagination. These romances always happen fast with little to no buildup. There is no what writers of romance call “slow burn”, it’s just throw Mary at the male character, hook them up, and get the audience to buy it. Basically, it’s reminiscent of the romance stories in the Classical Era Disney animated films. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella all fall madly in love with their princes within minutes of meeting them. There’s no getting to know each other, there is no preamble, there is no slow courtship, no real drama to speak of. It’s basically Love At First Sight or True Love. This trend continues even into the Disney Renaissance. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel is willing to make a deal with a witch to give up her fins for a prince she hasn’t even spoken to yet. He doesn’t even know she exists, and she leaves her home and family behind, gives up her voice, all for a mere shot at hooking up with him.

That’s not love, that’s lust. That’s hormones overruling your brain, and it’s an insulting trope, one that feminists have railed against for years. Disney has made a little progress. The movie Frozen took the mickey out of the Love At First Sight/True Love trope with the song “Love Is An Open Door” and the prince Anna wanting to marry turning out to be a major sleazebag who just wants to use her, but we still only have three Disney princesses (Elsa, Moana, and Merida) who have never had love interests and two (Anna and Rapunzel) whose love stories come close to being slow burns, out of 12 official Princesses. There’s still a long way to go, and boy is there a major step backwards in Loki.

In Episode 3, Loki fights Sylvie and they end up on Lamentis 1. Sylvie spends a good portion of the time insulting and trying to kill Loki, and Loki finds himself having to defend himself from her. That changes once they get on the train going to the Arc. After sneaking aboard the train using a disguise and a flimsy story, the two Lokis sit in a booth, where Loki proceeds to drink champagne. It is then that, out of nowhere, the conversation shifts from how Sylvie learned her powers to the topic of love.

Why? Why would you bring that up in conversation with someone who was doing her best to kill you a couple hours prior?

Then Loki makes things worse by asking Sylvie if she has a beau waiting for her. Why? It doesn’t make sense. The two of you are at each other’s throats, she’s done her best to kill you, neither of you trusts the other, and, completely out of left field, you decide to basically ask “So...are you single?”

Now, enemies to lovers is a trope that can work when done right. Typically, it’s a very subtle, slow progression that the audience witnesses over time in a novel, movie or television series. Weeks and even months will go by in the narrative during which the two people go from wanting each other dead to developing feelings for one another. There’s usually a “will they, won’t they period” that lasts for some time that’s full of teases and flirting before the couple does hook up and gives the audience the resolution. Done in this way, enemies to lovers can work.

This...this is not the right way to do enemies to lovers. Within a couple of hours Loki and Sylvie go from hatred and doing their damnedest to stabbing one another in the backs, to having a connection that causes a nexus event?

By the way, that nexus event makes no sense. In Episode 2, it is established that it is impossible to create a nexus event in an apocalypse. It is why Sylvie was able to avoid capture by the TVA for so long. In fact, just minutes prior to the two of them almost dying in Episode 4, Sylvie flat-out says that she figured out that she needed to hide in apocalypses because she discovered she didn’t create a nexus event when she hid in them.

Now the two of them are able to create a nexus event in the midst of an apocalypse? Why? Their “connection” isn’t going to lead to any consequences...they were about to die. No one else need never have known about the “moment” the two of them shared. It’s very confusing and the only purpose it really serves is to paint Loki and Sylvie as soulmates, which doesn’t make sense in the context of the show. The concept of soulmates is that for every person, there is someone out there they are predestined to be with. Loki is a show that, at the core of it, is about rejecting predestination and embracing free will. In that context, the idea of soulmates is ludicrous and contradictory to the message that we make our own destiny. This is why True Love is unrealistic, and I hate to break it to you romantics out there, but Love At First sight does not exist.

Infatuation At First Sight exists, but that is not Love, no matter what your hormones are telling you. Love takes time to evolve, and it takes work to maintain. It sure as hell doesn’t happen after less than 12 hours of knowing each other, during which a huge chunk of time was devoted to trying to manipulate, outsmart, and murder the person you’re supposedly in love with. No one falls in love in less than 12 hours, period, unless it’s a Classical Era Disney animated movie. They basically turned Loki into a big Disney Romance trope. I have a very hard time buying that Loki, who we have established is emotionally stunted and closed off, would form a love connection in just a few hours, especially with someone who was doing her best to murder him in that timespan.

That is not the only reason this relationship is problematic. The term “Selfcest” has been thrown around, and a lot of defenders of this particular ship claim that the term was very recently made up in social media for the sole purpose of badmouthing this particular romance. That is not the case. Selfcest is a term that has existed among fiction writers for years, it’s just that more people have recently become aware of it thanks to this show. The trope has been used and referred to in various works of fiction, especially in fantasy and science fiction where cloning, alternative universes, and magic occur. A lot of the insults I get from people who can’t stand that I don’t like the romance basically go along the lines of saying selfcest doesn’t exist. No, it doesn’t...in reality. But this isn’t reality, is it? It’s fiction. It’s a fictional world where such a thing could be possible, and even in works where it’s not possible it’s often alluded to.

In A Song Of Ice And Fire, we have the infamous twincest relationship going on between Cersei and Jamie Lannister, and it is heavily implied that sleeping with her brother is the closest that Cersei can get to banging herself and that is why she does it. Jamie is basically everything she feels she should have been and was denied due to being born a woman. In fact, in later books when he reunites with her after having been away from King’s Landing for over a year, during which time he’s grown a beard and shaved his head, Cersei no longer finds him as attractive since they no longer look as much alike.

And with advances in cloning, selfcest might be possible in the future. We already have sex robots, and people with money are capable of making those robots look like themselves. There is nothing stopping them from doing it.

Knowing all of this, the argument of “selfcest doesn’t exist!” falls flat. And it especially falls flat when you’re referring to a fictional universe where a large purple man once killed off half the population of said universe with a snap of his fingers, where scientists turn into giant green monsters, the Norse gods not only exist but regularly interact with people on Earth, and there’s such a thing as a Sorcerer Supreme.

As I have said, the show has been rather inconsistent in stating what exactly Sylvie’s identity is. One moment, we are told Sylvie is a Loki and that she and Loki are the same person. Mobius says it, Kang says it multiple times, Judge Renslayer says it, the director and the writers state it in interviews. But then in the next breath, they contradict it by saying that she’s not a Loki, she’s Sylvie and a different person.

You can’t have it both ways. Which is it? Either she’s a Loki, or she’s not. The narrative is very confusing and it changes depending on how they want us to see Sylvie, especially in relation to her romance with Loki. It’s so much easier to avoid the selfcest/incest accusations when you can say they are different people. But then they say they’re the same person. Make up your minds!

Since the show first established that Sylvie is a Loki, I’m going with that. Especially since we saw a bit of her backstory. She grew up in Asgard as a member of the royal family, which means she had Odin as a father, Frigga as mother, and Thor as brother. She may or may not have the same DNA as Loki. We never got confirmation either way, and there are people who argue that they don’t to which I have to ask: How do you know? The show never tells us! “Oh, well, there’s Alligator Loki, are you going to say he has the same DNA as well?” Well, we are never told how exactly Alligator Loki came to be. Is he actually an alligator, or is he Loki who somehow got permanently stuck when he shapeshifted? People tend to forget that he can do that. Ragnarok established that he can turn into a snake, and a deleted scene actually had the childhood story go that Loki turned into a rug to cover a hole in the ground and then dumped Thor into it. There is the scene where Doctor Strange drops Loki through a portal, and Thor is left poking at a business card, and it is clear that for a moment he thinks that Loki turned into that. We know Loki can shapeshift, so Alligator Loki can very well have the same DNA. We just don’t know, because the show never explains it for the same reason the show cut out the scenes with Throg fighting Loki...to devote more screentime to Sylki.

Even if they don’t have the same DNA, it’s still established that they are the same person, they have the same family, they’re both the God/dess of Mischief, and even Sylvie herself acknowledges that she is a Loki despite the fact that she changed her name. So selfcest very much applies here, and a good argument can be made that selfcest is the ultimate in incest...after all, there isn’t anyone else you’re more related to than yourself. It is very understandable, therefore, that a lot of people would be very, very uncomfortable with such a relationship. Having the same DNA would merely be the icing on the very gross cake.

Furthermore, just because selfcest does not exist in reality does not mean someone can’t find the concept distasteful. “It’s not real!” “It’s just fiction!” Yes, and people are allowed to have their own feelings and opinions on fiction. If they find the idea of selfcest hard to stomach, that’s their prerogative and you really have no right to tell them they are wrong for feeling that way. They should not have to justify to anyone why they feel that way either. No one owes you an explanation for why they find real world incest or cannibalism distasteful, so they don’t owe you an explanation for this.

“Well, of course Loki would fall for himself...he’s a narcissist!” Is he though? Is he really? Having dealt with my fair share of narcissists in my life, I have to wonder if the fans who say that, along with the writers, know what a narcissist really is.

Is Loki a narcissist?

Bringing up Cersei Lannister again, the novels she appears in establishes that she is an extreme narcissist. She sleeps with her twin brother because it’s the closest she can come to sleeping with herself, and she desires to do that because she is a narcissist. A narcissist is someone whose personality is defined by an inflated sense of self-importance, troubled relationships, lack of empathy for others, and an excessive deep-seated need for attention and admiration. It’s a very simplistic definition, and there are plenty of YouTube videos devoted to delving into narcissists into more depth, as well as videos on how to cope with the aftermath of abuse at the hands of narcissists. Narcissists are so devoted to themselves that they ignore the needs and the feelings of those in their lives, which often results in abusive behavior. There are entire support groups that exist for victims of narcissists.

At first glance, one can see why some might consider Loki a narcissist. He does engage in some pretty selfish behavior, he goes to great lengths to get attention, his relationships to his family are indeed fraught with drama, and he seems to have a pretty overinflated ego. He even goes so far as to write a play featuring himself as the central character, and build a giant golden statue of himself after taking over Asgard in the guise of Odin. But really, is his ego truly that big? Or he is overcompensating for his self-hatred and self-disgust?

Loki suffered quite the emotional blow when he found out his true heritage, a revelation that shook him to his very core. Of course, his relationship with his father suffered as a result...the man lied to him for his entire life. Their relationship really was not that great even before that since Odin found it easier to relate to Thor, who was more like him in personality, than to Loki, who was more cerebral and quieter. Loki’s relationship to Frigga fared much better. He’s quick to forgive her involvement in covering up the truth about his parentage, and it is obvious that they are close. Even his relationship with Thor prior to the events of the movie is not all that bad, the two brothers are affectionate and playful, and when Loki interrupts Thor’s coronation, it’s not just for the sake of creating trouble, but to postpone Thor taking the crown for another little while because he is not fit to rule. At the time Thor had yet to go through his character development arc on Earth and he was still an overly arrogant, bloodthirsty, elitist douchebag, so Loki really had a good point.

A true narcissist would have done what Loki did just for the sake of making life difficult for Thor. Also, he would have done it because he wanted the throne. Loki states repeatedly that he never wanted to rule. A true narcissist would have been all smiles about taking the throne instead of being reluctant about it as Loki was when Frigga handed him Gungnir.

Throughout the films, and in the first episode of the series, we see that Loki does indeed love his family and is capable of feeling guilt over the things that he does to them, intentionally or not. Narcissists typically don’t feel remorse. As far as they are concerned, they are perfect and can do no wrong, so they have nothing to feel bad about. If they hurt you, it’s because you deserved it. You shouldn’t have provoked their ire.

Loki feels bad for getting Frigga killed, and then later on Odin. Then he is in tears when Odin dies, and later at the mere thought of never seeing Thor again when the two brothers talk in an elevator on Sakaar. Those are not the actions of someone who is incapable of loving anyone but himself, as I’ve seen so many people claim about him. And the fact that he sacrificed himself to save his brother also kind of kills the whole “narcissist” narrative.

In Episode 1, Loki breaks down and confesses to Mobius that he doesn’t like hurting people. He does it because it’s part of the façade, and admits that he sees himself as weak. A few episodes later, he admits to a memory illusion Sif that he craves attention “because I’m a narcissist” and admits to being afraid of being alone. That is far more self-reflection than a typical narcissist is capable of in my experience. As I said, narcissists tend to think they are perfect. A true narcissist would never admit to having any flaws, and sure as hell would never admit that they are a narcissist. As far as the true narcissist is concerned, if you find them flawed in any way, that’s on you. The narcissist has no need for self-reflection because they honestly see nothing wrong with themselves, and believe that they don’t need to change...it’s everyone else who does.

A good real-life example from my past is a former friend I’ll call D. D was a self-proclaimed brat who was quite proud of the fact that she could be difficult to be in a relationship with and tended to go through men like tissue paper. She was demanding, self-centered, extremely jealous, manipulative, and prone to wild mood swings. She could and did go from zero to insane at the drop of a hat. In the time I knew her, she left a string of burnt guys behind, and according to her it was because they just weren’t man enough to handle her. She also left behind a string of broken former friends, to the point where there really needed to be a support group for former friends of D who suddenly had her turn them into Public Enemy Number 1 when they either started taking attention away from D, or...well, that was it really. As I said, she was a very jealous person and had a chronic need to be the center of attention, especially if there were men around. Anyway, instead of working on herself to become less self-involved, self-absorbed, and more empathetic, she double downed on her abrasiveness and constant need for attention until she finally wore the poor man down and he either ghosted her or outright dumped her. She never broke up with them, preferring to keep them around for as long as they were willing in order to toy with them as a cat does with a mouse. I tried to talk to her about her horrible behavior, but instead of taking my constructive criticism and maybe using it to make some needed changes, she completely turned on me and did her best to make my life hell until I finally cut her out of it. I learned two things: Narcissists don’t want help because they don’t feel they need it and they are never going to change as a result, and never, ever try to confront a narcissist. It’ll only end badly.

A more famous example? Former US President Donald Trump. I won’t get into that, because really all you need to do is perform a quick Google search to see what all he’s done and witness his narcissism on full display. But really, place him side by side with Loki. Do you see any similarities at all? Maybe on the surface, but when you go deeper...no. Loki is not a narcissist. He’s capable of deep self-reflection, owns his faults, is capable of loving others, and feels remorse. I would argue that anyone who says he is a narcissist, either does not know the character, or hasn’t ever actually dealt with a narcissist in real life, to which I can only say: Lucky you.

I honestly would argue that calling Loki a narcissist is actually doing a disservice to victims of abuse from actual narcissists.

What about Sylvie? Well, in contrast to Loki who does show remorse while Mobius is playing that “This Is Your Life” reel for him, Sylvie shows no remorse or regret. She knows that the TVA agents she kills are as much victims as she is. They are innocent variants who were kidnapped from Earth and forced to work for the TVA after having their memories wiped. She knows this, yet the first time we see her she burns a bunch of TVA agents alive, and she just stands there watching as they scream in agony. In the next episode she says right out that she’s “having some fun” while possessing the body of C-90 and murdering more agents. She is not at all sorry about doing what she did, and we’re supposed to be understanding since she was kidnapped as a child. Okay, but the entire TVA didn’t do that. The agents she kills didn’t personally kidnap her. The only one we see who was directly involved in that is Renslayer. Sylvie “did what she had to do”, fine. But she doesn’t feel bad about it, at all. The flashback to her as a child takes great pains to try to show us what a good person she is when she cries out “Help him!” as another prisoner is being beaten, but I guess she grew out of it.

We don’t know if Sylvie has any other narcissistic traits besides lack of remorse because, well, the show really doesn’t do much to show her personality. Other than killing people, trying to kill Loki, and then flirting with Loki, we just don’t really see much to her. It’s another trait of a Mary Sue. Mary Sues often have bland, one-dimensional personalities. After all, their only purpose is usually to serve as love interests for one or more male characters. Mary Sues break the “show, don’t tell” rule by having the other characters verbally inform us about their traits, usually while singing their praises, but we don’t actually see those traits in the Mary Sue herself.

Loki calls Sylvie “amazing”, but how amazing is she, really? She kills people she knows are victims, she endangers the timeline just to sneak into the TVA, and then she kills Kang despite knowing that there is a very good chance that doing so could unleash something far, far worse than him. Then again, it doesn’t have to make sense when you’re pushing an unwanted and unasked for romance on an audience who was expecting a scifi show, not a romance.

I have spoken in a few places about this. Romance is fine, but in a show that blatantly places itself in the scifi genre, it really should only be the background, not center stage. When I expressed this opinion, I got accused of being dismissive of an essential part of the human experience. Well, first of all, congratulations: You just invalidated the existence of people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, not to mention people who are celibate by choice. Second, that is why we have the romance genre. To tell stories centered around romance. I like romance, I read romance novels, and I sometimes write romantic fiction. But there are some places where it just is not appropriate.

There are people who say that adding romance makes things more interesting. Nope, in those cases it’s just a smokescreen, something used to hide plot holes and distract us from just how empty the story really is. Writers like to say that if you need a romance to make things more interesting, then you really don’t have much of a story in the first place. And sadly, Loki does have some plot holes. The nexus event on Lamentis is a good example, and the romance is definitely used to distract us from that. People were so focused on “oh wow, they’re having a moment, they’re soulmates!” that they didn’t think “waitaminute...didn’t they say that nexus events can’t occur in apocalypses?”

We really did not need a romance in Loki. Period. It was unnecessary, it was distracting, a lot of people found it disturbing, and it actively hurt a marginalized group.

Loki Is A Queer Icon!...maybe

I am not going to say that the relationship between Loki and Sylvie is not a bisexual one. A bisexual relationship is a bisexual relationship regardless of whether or not the person the bisexual person is with is the opposite sex. Saying otherwise is biphobic. Biphobic people in both the straight and the queer communities have been excluding bisexual people who happen to be in opposite sex relationships for years because apparently one stops being bisexual once they get into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. This is horseshit. I’ve been in relationships with CIS men, did I stop being attracted to other men, women, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, and other genderqueer people? No. No, I didn’t, because while I was entangled, I was not dead. Heterosexual people don’t stop being attracted to other members of the opposite sex when they are in relationships, it’s no different with queer people.

So, stop saying that Loki and Sylvie are not a bisexual relationship. You’re not doing us any favors at all, and in fact you’re only helping the biphobes who want to kick us out of Pride and other queer spaces for daring to date members of the opposite sex.

I will address the “Bit of both” line however. In Episode 3, Loki has that response to Sylvie’s questioning about whether there had been any would-be princesses or princes in his life. Again, a conversation that comes out of nowhere. She stated outright that she didn’t trust him, clearly wanted him dead, and now she’s asking if he’s single. Whatever.

Anyway, people went nuts when Loki answered “A bit of both”. It was confirmation that Loki was bisexual, it was celebrated on social media...and it is really biphobic and Kate Herron, who is bisexual herself, really should have known better.

Biphobic people have long tried to sow division between the bi and trans communities (unsurprisingly, biphobia and transphobia tend to go hand-in-hand) by saying that the concept of being bisexual is transphobic. “Bi” means two, ergo bisexual people are only attracted to two genders, specifically CIS men and CIS women. It never occurs to anyone that the “two genders” a bisexual person could be attracted to could be, say, women (and yes, I include trans women in that, since they are in fact women, get over it) and non-binary people, or agender and gender-fluid people, it’s always CIS men and CIS women. This despite the fact that the definition of bisexual has been “attraction to more than one gender” since long before the Bisexual Manifesto was put out in 1990.

Some people have tried to remedy this by adopting the moniker of “pansexual” instead, which A) is basically reinforcing what biphobes are saying about bisexuals and creating even more division and B) doesn’t just mean “attraction to trans people as well, I’m not transphobic, I promise!” “Pansexual” is not interchangeable with “bisexual”. Pansexual is attraction to all genders. Bisexual means attraction to more than one gender, but not necessarily to all genders. You can have a bisexual person, for instance, who is attracted to all genders except for men. If you are attracted to more than one gender, but not to all genders, you are bisexual, and labeling yourself pansexual is lying and basically caving in to the biphobes.

I’m not trying to police what people call themselves...if you want to use the two terms interchangeably, if you want to call yourself bisexual, or pansexual, it’s fine. But just evaluate the reasons why. Are you calling yourself pansexual because you really think you can be, or are you just calling yourself that out of fear of being labeled transphobic? The latter, in my opinion, is not a really good reason, and it only helps deliver the biphobic message that bisexual people are transphobic.

So, by saying “a bit of both”, Loki is really helping to reinforce that biphobic assertion that bisexual people are attracted just to CIS men and CIS women. It’s disappointing, but it is Disney so I suppose that is the best we can expect for now. It just shows that Disney really has a long way to go.

What’s more problematic is the supposed genderfluid representation. Now, I am a CIS woman. As such, I feel unqualified to really say that the representation is shitty and fluidphobic. However, if I’m not qualified to say that it is, then Kate Herron and the writers are unqualified to say that it isn’t. Rule of thumb: If members of a marginalized group are telling you that you did a poor job of representing them and that you are being transphobic or fluidphobic, instead of ignoring and dismissing their concerns like a good portion of the population already does, it’s a really good idea to listen to what they are saying and learn how you can do better.

There have been some genderfluid and trans people who expressed that they liked the show, and good for them. But I have seen a lot of very valid criticisms and concerns from genderfluid and trans people about the representation on the show, and I think they really should be listened to. Kate, you and I are queer, but we are still CIS women. Ergo, we have no say in whether or not the way you attempted to present Loki’s gender fluidity is transphobic. If genderfluid people say it’s fluidphobic or trans people say it’s transphobic, then it is indeed fluidphobic/transphobic. To say otherwise is gaslighting a marginalized community who already faces gaslighting on a daily basis.

I will touch on a couple of things.

First, in Episode 5, Loki asks a bunch of his variants if they have ever encountered a female version of themselves, a question that is met with varying levels of incredulousness and even disgust. If Loki was truly genderfluid, this question wouldn’t have been asked. Genderfluid means the person shifts genders along the spectrum. Loki does this in the comics. Comicbook Loki switches between masculine and feminine presenting on the drop of a dime, especially in his current incarnation. Loki in the MCU we are told is also genderfluid, and should also be able to hop along the gender spectrum on a whim. There should not be a “female variant” therefore, since they are all the same gender. There could be a female presenting variant, but that is not the same thing. They would still be all genderfluid in that case. Also, Sylvie’s nexus event would not have been “being born the Goddess of Mischief”. Okay, the show never actually says that is the nexus event that led to her being arrested, but it heavily implies it. If Sylvie is a Loki, and as a Loki is genderfluid, her being the “Goddess” of Mischief should never have been an issue since they can change genders anyway.

Second, making Lady Loki a separate person is problematic. A lot of genderfluid people felt that this move invalidated their identity by basically showing that the same person cannot indeed be different genders along the spectrum. I don’t feel I’m totally qualified to really get into this. I will just say that if you’re going to write a genderfluid character, maybe at least get an actual genderfluid person to advise in the writing room.

Third, there is a transphobic movement called trans exclusionary radical feminism. You might have heard of it. Unfortunately, it is a very widespread movement that has done a lot of harm to the trans community, successfully blocking funding to organizations that help trans people, blocking laws that would benefit trans people, and the movement includes celebrities like Graham Linehan and JK Rowling.

One of the weapons they like to use against trans women is the concept of “autogynephilia”. It is basically the sexual fetish of becoming aroused from thinking of oneself as a woman. Many, many of these transphobic “feminists” love to say that trans women are merely men who have this particular sexual fetish.

It’s bullshit of course. Maybe there is a small segment of the male population that has that fetish, but trans women are not included in that. For trans women, things like dressing as women, changing their names, having state and federal issued IDs that say they are female, and being able to use the restrooms and change rooms that match the gender they actually are as opposed to the one they were assigned at birth is not a matter of sexual arousal. It’s a matter of making their external realities match their internal ones. It’s a matter of validation of their identities as women. Sexual gratification has nothing to do with it.

Now, Loki is not trans, but genderfluid people do tend to fall under the trans umbrella. We have Loki, a supposedly genderfluid individual and masculine presenting, falling head over heels in love with a feminine presenting version of himself. Maybe it’s just me, but it just seems like a form of autogynephilia to me.

Way to go, Kate...you just gave the TERFs more ammo.

One more note: At one point, Kate tweeted a list of the different Loki emojis, and “jokingly” included #FiretruckLoki with an emoji of a firetruck. Kate, you do realize that a “joke” transphobes love to harp on is that they can identify as an attack helicopter, right?

It’s his way of learning self-love!

That is not how you learn self-love.

First, the people who are making this argument often contradict themselves by then saying that Sylvie is a different person. Again, make up your minds. Either Sylvie is the same person as Loki, or she’s not. You can’t have it both ways, and you can’t continue to change the narrative to fit whatever it is you want to shove down the audience’s throats.

Second, romantic love and self-love are two different things entirely. Loki isn’t feeling self-love with Sylvie, he’s feeling romantic love. That’s not learning self-love. That's narcissism, and it’s character regression in his case. He’s supposed to be evolving past being a self-centered, egotistical shitweasel, and falling in love with a variant of himself makes him, as Mobius put it, “a seismic narcissist”. It’s not character development.

Third, this argument tends to come in the same breath as saying that Loki is a narcissist so of course he would fall for a variant of himself. If Loki is a narcissist though, why would he need to learn self-love? Narcissists already love themselves, that is the very definition of the word. If Loki needs to learn self-love, that would imply that he actually hates himself, which is the opposite of narcissism. Again, the writers and the fans who make these arguments when they feel the need to defend this relationship need to make up their minds. Either he’s a narcissist and therefore already loves himself too much, or he hates himself and needs to learn to love himself. It’s once again changing the narrative to fill a plothole.

Fourth, the whole learning self-love and trust narrative is completely thrown out the window in Episode 6 when Sylvie decides to toy with Loki’s emotions, using his feelings for her against him by kissing him as a distraction so she could grab Kang’s temp pad and toss Loki back to the TVA. To Sylvie, her revenge was more important than the bond she had with him. The move basically set Loki’s progress back several steps. What little progress he made anyway.

TL:DR, is there hope for Season 2?

Whew, this went on for a while, didn’t it? Told you I had a lot to say.

As I have said, if you liked the first season of Loki and think I am completely full of shit, that’s fine and it’s your prerogative. More power to you.

But, and this is a huge but, that does not give you the right to harass and bully people who did not like it.

I have witnessed horrible things from both sides of the now split Loki fandom on social media. Harassment and even death threats towards the creators. Telling people who don’t like the Loki and Sylvie relationship that they need to drink bleach. Homophobic attacks. Gatekeeping.

There’s constructive criticism and sharing your opinions, and then there is...this.

Both sides need to chill.

Anyway.

Even though Kate Herron has left the show, Michael Waldron is still the showrunner and as such I am not altogether optimistic for Season 2. I would like to see more emphasis on Loki himself for that season. Yes, it’s a novel thought, wanting a show that is called Loki to actually be about Loki, but here we are.

I would like to see actual character development in Loki rather than the old “true love transforms bad boy and conquers all” trope. There is a reason Disney has started to abandon that trope in their animated movies. They’ve been getting dragged about it for decades.

If Sylvie must return, there needs to be some actual consistency surrounding her character. The show needs to decide if she is a Loki or not and stick with whichever one they decide. And seriously, no more romance. Frankly, after what she pulled in Episode 6, I will be severely disappointed if the writers have Loki crawling back to her. That would make him pathetic, and Loki deserves better.

Really, Loki does not need a romance, period. He’s too emotionally immature, he has a lot of character growth to go through, and a romance would do nothing but be a distraction and an impediment to that growth. Anyone who got married too young can confirm that it is important to learn more about yourself and figure yourself out before you even think of getting involved with another person, who should not be your whole world. The Loki and Sylvie romance was reminding me of Classic Disney in another not-good way in that the two of them, especially on Loki’s side, were starting to revolve around one another and that does not make for a healthy relationship. Again, turning Loki into a Disney Prince (or, seeing as how he’s supposed to be genderfluid, Princess). Stop it.

Again, the romance was a smokescreen. It was a distraction from just how thin the plot was. Please, for the love of G-d, give more focus to the actual plot.

Do some research and talk to some psychologists for healthy ways Loki can “learn self-love" and develop as a character. If Ragnarok Loki can do it without relying on a romance with a variant with himself, then surely TVA Loki can pull it off.

Speaking of talking to people, listen to the concerns of the trans and genderfluid fans. Listen, talk to them, maybe get a couple in the writer’s room. CIS people should not write genderfluid people, and this season is a good example of why.

Please remember that Loki is not an idiot. Yes, he has pulled some fast ones and hasn’t been the greatest planner, but he is not downright stupid like he was in season 1.

And...really that’s all I have. As I have said, this thesis really wasn’t about making suggestions to the creators because I seriously doubt they will ever even see this. This was more less me screaming into the void, venting because I was that upset about what I saw as character assassination happening to one of my favorite characters. Keeping all of this in was proving to be bad for my blood pressure.

I am attached to the character, have been for years. Loki is just one character in the MCU who I love, who I want to see done right. I had been looking forward to his solo series for a very long time, and the disappointment I felt was something that I just couldn’t keep in. I kept my mouth shut when they killed off Tony Stark for no reason other than that Ronnie Downey, Jr. didn't want to renew his contract. I didn’t say anything at the Russo Brothers’ “happy ending” for Steve Rogers, even though I feel it made no sense and is a massive plot hole.

What they did to Loki, however...I couldn’t keep silent.

#loki series negativity #anti sylki

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thechangeling · 4 years

Text

Be wise enough to wonder. Be brave and let it go.

Mark had no idea what time it was when he was woken up by the sound of his daughter crying. He heard an exhausted groan beside him as Cristina moved to pull herself up. Mark put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"No it's alright," he whispered, his voice hoarse from sleep. "I'll go."

Two months ago Cristina had given birth to their first daughter. Her name was Gianna She was the biological product of Kieran and Cristina with her pointy ears and blue hair that changed with her moods, and Tina's chestnut coloured eyes and copper skin. But the trio fully considered her to be theirs. Blood was unimportant.

Mark was half asleep as he stumbled his way down to the room they had set up Gianna's crib in. He missed Kieran and he knew Cristina did as well. Kier was currently stuck in Faerie with his royal responsibilities. Cristina and Mark were visiting the LA institute to help with a recent uptake in demon activity around the area. It was amazing to see his siblings again (minus Ty, he was in Devon visiting Kit since the two of them were now dating long distance.) However he knew it was strange for Gigi to be sleeping in an unfamiliar environment.

Hence lots of crying.

Mark heard his daughter's crying getting softer as he came to the doorway. He could also hear another voice, cooing to her, calming her down. As he got closer he could see it was Helen. Mark smiled at the sight of his big sister gently rocking his daughter in her arms.

"Thank you" he whispered, trying not to startle her or wake Gianna. Helen was wearing her sleep clothes, with her hair tied back. There were also very prominent dark circles under her eyes.

"You should get some rest" Mark said as forcefully as he could without raising his voice. "Seriously you look exhausted Len, hand her over and he back to bed." Helen just gave him a stern look. The one that she used to use when he was trying to sneak extra cookies as a kid, or the first time she caught him trying to come home past curfew after being out at a downworlder party that he was way too young for.

The funny thing was that even though Helen had started calling Eleanor "mom" around the age of 8, Mark had never been able to do it. It had absolutely nothing to do with an attachment to his birth mother. He barely remembered her. Maybe it was because he had always had someone looking out for him since day one, and that person wasn't Nerissa or Eleanor.

And it certainly wasn't his father.

I think you're punishing yourself, is what Helen had told him one night. You're punishing yourself for being different, so you won't let yourself get attached.

Helen placed Gigi back in her crib and put her hands on Mark's shoulders. "Sweetheart you are more exhausted then I am" she reprimanded him gently. "You and Cristina both need help and I'm more than happy to do it." Mark put his hand over hers, gripping onto Helen to avoid passing out.

"She has Kieran too remember?" He insisted firmly. "Just because he isn't here right now doesn't mean that he's not her dad too." Helen's eyes widened.

"Oh no! No that wasn't what I was saying at all." She said frantically. Her voice was starting to slur a little like she was drunk. She really needed to go to sleep. "I was just trying to be useful you know? Like I always used to when we were younger."

Mark knew what she was referring to. When the twins were born, in order to help out Eleanor and their dad, Mark and Helen starting taking care of them so their parents could get more sleep. Julian was still very young, only two, so it was up to them as the older siblings to step up.

Livvy was a relatively easy baby. She cried when she was hungry or needed changing, and then she was fine. She was pretty good at sleeping through most of the night as well. Ty on the other hand was not. When he was drinking formula from the bottle he would only ever take a little and then refuse to eat any more. This lead to him always being hungry half an hour later and as a result, not sleeping for very long.

The family would take shifts when looking after the twins to avoid being too exhausted. But there were some nights where Ty would just refuse to sleep and nobody knew why. Eleanor wanted to go to the silent brothers, but thankfully Helen had talked her out of it.

He's just different, she had said. It's fine, we will figure it out.

At a certain point Andrew had just refused to try, and Helen and Mark had to step in. Unfortunately these were bad habits of Ty's that seemed to have carried over into adulthood. But at least now he could get up and feed himself at 2 in the morning.

Mark shook himself out of his stupor. "No it's ok. I'm sorry. I just worry about you Len" he murmured. Helen shot him a tired smile. "And I you, brother" she replied, slipping into a very fae way of speaking. Mark turned to look at his little girl, who was still sleeping. Thank the angel.

Thank the gods, his brain supplied.

It was interesting thinking about the way she would grow up. It would be so different from Mark and Helen. Gianna had access to Unseelie culture through Kieran, as well as the privilege of being raised by a full blooded faerie. She was already being read fae stories (accurate ones) and sung fae lullabies. She would be taught fae languages by Kieran and Cristina mostly, because as Kieran loved to point out, he was terrible with languages. She would also be taught Spanish and English when she was older.

She would be raised as a shadowhunter and as a faerie in a better, more understanding world that he was trying to help build. Mark couldn't help but be a little envious of her.

He turned back to Helen who hadn't left, but had sat down on the floor, bracing her back against the wall. He sat down beside her.

"Hey" he whispered roughly. "Do you ever feel like we were robbed?"

Helen looked up at him slightly dazed. Her Blackthorn blue-green eyes were starting to glaze over. "Huh?" She muttered sleepily. Helen rubbed her eyes and cleared her throat, trying again. "What do you mean exactly?"

Mark sighed as he slowly felt all of the thoughts and feelings he usually tried to keep buried. He really didn't want to deal with them. Because if he delt with them then he would have to acknowledge what happened, and acknowledging it made it real.

Something that Magnus always said was that you had to go through the pain and not around it, because going through it was the only way to get over it.

Mark took a deep breath and looked Helen in the eye. "I mean think about it. From the moment we arrived at this institute, our father always talked about how evil and wicked and manipulative our mother was. And yes, I would argue from the sound of things he was probably right, but I was four years old and she was the only faerie I had ever known. So it seemed as if everyone around was establishing a baseline of, Faeries. Wicked. Manipulative. Cannot be trusted.

Helen shook her head "but that's not-" Mark interrupted her. "I'm sorry but I'm not done." Helen sighed and looked to be fighting the urge to roll her eyes, but she didn't protest. "Ok fine. Go."

Mark continued. "And the thing is we were bombarded with that information all our lives. From our instructors, from our father, from our peers. So eventually I think you and I started to believe it Len! I think we started to think of ourselves as evil, and in order to not be evil we had to distance ourselves from being fae as much as possible." Mark's voice was beginning to shake.

Helen shook her head. "No I don't think it was that so much as we were trying to prove that we were real shadowhunters. Me personally, I didnt want to be considered a downworlder because I'm not, I'm a shadowhunter. " Helen explained, but her voice sounded unsure. "I didnt want to be treated differently."

Mark chuckled humorously. "But don't you see? We are different! That is precisely my point, and everyone made us feel ashamed of that. Remember how you used to braid your hair like a faerie until girls started making fun of you and trying to pull it out? And then you started wearing your hair to cover your ears. Did you honestly expect me to believe that you preferred the style, sister?" Mark was trying to keep his voice lowered but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Helen was silent. There was a pause where neither sibling spoke and then Helen's defeated voice. "I don't want to talk about this Mark." He felt a pang of guilt.

"I know. Forgive me please, it was not my intention to upset you." He spoke elegantly. Helen laughed softly. "You know it's weird how much it comforts me, hearing you talk like that" she said.

Mark smiled sadly at her. "But that's exactly my point Helen. I mean think about it? How much did we give up or refuse to pursue just because we were scared? You know I've been reading far stories to Gianna and some of them are actually really incredible. There are stories about brave female warriors who go on adventures to save beautiful princesses and stories of people who couldn't decide which one if their suitors they liked best, so they just chose them all. They are stories about people like us, written for people like us." Mark could feel himself beginning to cry .

Helen reached over silently and placed her hand on his to comfort him. She looked like she was holding back tears as well.

"Imagine" Mark whispered brokenly, tears running down his cheeks. "Imagine what it would have been like if we read stories like those when we were younger.

Helen closed her eyes, trying to block out tears. "We were trying to keep ourselves safe" she whispered. "It was self preservation."

"It was assimilation" Mark said firmly. "And that really wasn't fair." Helen let out a harsh breath.

"And it didn't even do any good," Mark continued. "They still kicked us out."

Helen laughed in spite of the situation. Then let they weight of the conversation wash over them both, soaking them in despair and self pity.

Helen finally broke the silence.

"You know, she began, Magnus Bane loves to share stories about past shadowhunters in a more accurate way because the Clave's records are usually very white and straight washed, and when Aline and I mentioned potentially adopting a child from abroad, he told us a story about this one shadowhunter Ariadne Bridgestock. Apparently she was a lesbian and in a relationship with Anna Lightwood but she was also originally from India. Her parents adopted her and brought her back to England."

Mark shrugged "So? There's nothing inherently wrong with that." Helen gave him another look.

"Well yeah, but the problem was they didn't let her retain anything from her culture and they didn't give her the opportunity to branch out and learn more. They stripped her of all of that and basically taught her to behave like the typical white British girl." Helen readjusted her position, straightening out her back. "He wanted to make sure that if we ended up with a child who had a different cultural background, we would understand the importance of nurturing that connection" she explained.

Mark nodded "Well yes, but Aline would never do anything like that given how important her culture is to her." Helen was silent for a moment.

"Yeah I know. It's just that I'm not exactly the poster girl for self love and acceptance now am I? She said I'm a self pitying tone.

Mark shook his head. "It's not really the same thing though Len" he reasoned.

"No I know that, but it's similar" she mumbled, tiredness seeping into her tone. "Anyways, that's why I'm so happy Gigi has you and Kieran." Helen finally stood up "Especially you. When she feels like her mom is too much of a shadowhunter to get it, and her dad is too much of a faerie to get it, she has her papa to understand her." Helen said wistfully with a smile.

She extended her hand to Mark and pulled him to his feet. They both stared at Gianna who was moving around slightly in her sleep. "Yeah she will be fine" Helen mused softly. "She's got Cristina to teach her spanish and Kieran to teach her faerie. You can tell her stories about the wild hunt and Cristina can tell her stories about living in Mexico." Helen paused, her expression looking a little sad. "Her life is going to be so different from ours."

Mark felt another pang in his chest as well as the boiling of anger beneath his skin.

"How do we get past this?" He whispered. "How do we deal with this Helen? This anger?"

Helen was silent for a moment. Mark turned to face her and noticed she was shaking slightly. Helen gulped and looked up at him.

"We can't feel sorry for ourselves. That gets us nowhere. We need to confront it and then we need to find away to move past it," she said determinedly. "We need to be brave enough to let it go. We can't change the past but what we can do is try and change the way we approach this now. I know it's hard but we can do it." Helen smiled at him "As long as we have each others backs we can get through this."

Mark nodded. "I know. You're right. I want to keep moving forward. I want to learn more, discover more. I want to figure out who I really am." Mark spoke steadily. "The things that happened when we were younger were horrible," he felt his voice breaking again. "It's painful, but we can't just stay on our knees. We have to move on or it'll consume us."

Mark took Helen into his arms and hugged her tightly. She sniffled lightly, wrapping her arms around him. Mark let out a sigh.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I've got you, you're not alone."

You are not the only.

Be wise enough to wonder, be brave and let it go.

Nothing is everlasting.

Have mercy on my soul.

#tda #the dark artifices #tsc #helen blackthorn #mark blackthorn #kierarktina children #kierarktina #kaitlin'swriting

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im-up-to-shenanigans · 4 years

Text

Say You'll Be Mine (1/?)

Read on ao3

Read on fanfiction.net

Summary: They were not meant to be together. Still, the heart is a pesky and stubborn thing. No curse AU with Lieutenant Duckling.

Rating: T

Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Liam Jones, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Red Riding Hood | Ruby Lucas

Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan

~*~*~*~

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve posted in a long time for this fandom, so please be gentle as I get back into the groove.

~*~*~*~

When she’d first received the news that a ship named the Jewel of the Realm had just arrived in port, Emma was stunned.

Throughout her studies as the crown princess, she had always loved the history books, those belonging to her own kingdom and others’. Well, to be more precise, she loved the books that told of historical legends. Stories from the past where no one knows how much is based on fact or on fiction. One of her all-time favorites, one that intrigued her more than any other, was the Legend of the Lost Crew.

She first discovered the tale from her mother. Emma loved bed time stories when she was a little girl. Every night, she refused to sleep unless her mother told her a story. One night, when Emma was seven years of age, Snow White told her daughter about one of her favorite stories as a girl, one her father Leopold told her.

About three centuries ago, while the kingdom of Misthaven was at war with another kingdom, a corrupt king had supposedly sent his flagship, the Jewel of the Realm, to an unknown land to gather a magical and medicinal plant, one said to cure any disease. The last recorded sighting of the Jewel came from the logs of enemy ships, a frigate and two corvettes, claiming they were in pursuit of the Jewel, when it deployed a sail seemingly made from feathers and flew. The ship and her crew disappeared into the clouds and were never seen or heard from again.

Many speculated what could have happened to the lost crew, even years after the king was overthrown and Emma’s family claimed the throne. Emma herself didn’t particularly believe a ship could fly, but she lived in a realm with magic, so she supposed anything was possible.

She became fascinated by the missing ship and spent much of her free time among the books trying to find any trace of the Jewel or her crew. She scanned record books, captain’s logs, history books, and books of local legends from any kingdom that she could get her hands on (and being the crown princess, it wasn’t difficult), but no one knew anything about the ship or the men on board after they vanished.

Some speculated they got lost at sea. Others thought the ship may have been destroyed in a particularly terrible storm. Others speculated the crew rebelled against the king and became pirates, changing the name of the ship to cover their tracks. Still, others thought perhaps the lieutenant, in want of the glory the discovery would bring, killed his older brother the captain and was then faced with a mutiny, eventually leading to the entire crew killing each other.

Emma wasn’t certain which theory was more likely, only a gut feeling the last one was the least plausible. Even though she had no siblings herself, she doubted anyone selfless enough to serve their country during a time of war would kill their own brother for glory.

Then again, the people at the time doubted their king could ever be corrupt, a belief shattered when he attempted genocide on innocent civilians of the enemy kingdom, leading to the uprising that brought Emma’s family to power, so she guessed the theory had some merit. As much as any of them, that is.

Still, the unsolved mystery of history was one Emma always enjoyed trying to solve on her own, even if her efforts were fruitless. It did happen three hundred hears ago, after all.

So, when she heard the reports of the ship bearing the same name as the one from the legend coming into port, she could hardly contain her excitement once she overcame her shock. When her father sent messengers to invite the acting officers on board to the castle to meet with him, she eagerly asked if she could be present for the meeting.

David simply smiled, knowing of his daughter’s fascination with the legend, and agreed.

The captain was wary, but accepted the invitation.

Emma was practically buzzing with excitement. She smoothed her hands over her skirt and fidgeted with her sleeves until her mother placed a gentle hand on her arm to still her.

When the doors to the throne room opened, Emma's heart started racing. Two officers entered in uniforms of white, blue, and gold.

The two men bowed politely. The taller one stepped forward and introduced himself as Captain Liam Jones and the man with him as his lieutenant and brother, Killian Jones.

Emma appraised both men. The captain was good looking, she supposed, with blue eyes, brown, curly hair, and a short beard, but nothing special. He certainly didn’t look like the stuff of legends (Emma refused to acknowledge the part of her that was disappointed at that). So, she turned to his brother —

— and felt her heart stop.

His. Eyes. They were so blue. And yeah, so were his brother's, but the lieutenant's eyes drew her in, made her hold her breath, made her heart flutter. They held a promise when they met hers. A promise of what, she didn’t know, but her hands started to nervously twist the fabric of her skirt again when he shyly glanced back down to his feet, allowing Emma to appreciate his long lashes and his cute bangs.

Gods, help me. He’s adorable.

She knew she was staring, but she didn’t care. She vaguely heard her father and Captain Jones discussing something or other, but her gaze was solely focused on the lieutenant that captivated her.

He lifted his gaze back to hers and gave a small smile, the right side of his mouth quirking ever so slightly before his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Which, of course, drew Emma’s attention to said lips. She couldn’t help the fantasies that immediately bombarded her. She imagined that his lips would be soft, a delightful contrast to his scruff. She wondered what they would look like when they were kiss-swollen and bruised.

I wonder if he’s a good kisser.

She gave herself a mental shake. She was a princess! She couldn’t be fantasizing about kissing a lieutenant, especially not when her parents were still in the room!

She felt her cheeks flush, heat crawling up the back of her neck as she finally (reluctantly) tore her gaze away from Lieutenant Jones. She tried to refocus on the conversation between her father and the captain, but failed miserably when she saw her mother watching her out of the corner of her eye. The heat in her face and neck grew worse, as she knew she’d been caught staring. She clasped her hands in her lap and focused her gaze on them until she heard her mother speak up for the first time.

"Captain, it would be our great honor to host a ball celebrating your return," she said with a smile.

Captain Jones bowed his head slightly. "Thank you, Your Highness, but a ball is, though generous, not necessary. My crew and I have been away for a long time and would like a chance to rest and adjust to being back in our own realm. Especially after we’ve been away for so long."

Snow's smile remained. "Well, if not a ball, then you must at least join us for dinner. We would not be very good hosts if we did nothing to honor your return to Misthaven."

He smiled respectfully. "Well then, Your Highness, we accept your invitation."

David nodded. "Very well, then. Tonight, we shall feast."

~*~*~*~

Emma huffed as Red tied up the laces of her dress. Even if she was excited about the leading officers of the Lost Crew staying for dinner, she didn’t understand why she needed to dress up. The dress she was wearing earlier was fine.

But, her mother had insisted. And the gods help anyone who tried to change Snow's mind on anything. Just ask her dad.

She was grateful that Red at least tied it loose enough so she could breathe.

"All done, Emma." Red stood back and allowed her to look at herself in the mirror.

Emma took one look and smiled when she realized the dark green of the dress brought out her eyes. I wonder if Lieutenant Jones likes the color green. No, stop it, Emma. You haven’t even really met the guy. Still, the small smile remained, now accompanied by a barely noticeable blush dusting her cheeks.

"You seem happy for someone who was just huffing about being forced to dress up a few moments ago. What’s on your mind?" Red asked as she reached for the hairbrush.

"Nothing," she answered war too quickly to be convincing. Way to be subtle, Emma. When Red raised an eyebrow at her reflection, Emma felt her cheeks burn and watched in embarrassment as the slight blush darkened in color.

"Nothing, huh? Then why are you blushing?" Red paused in the brushing of Emma's hair. "It wouldn’t have anything to do with our guests tonight would it?"

She shook her head, ignoring the heat crawling up the back of her neck at the lie. "Of course not. I haven’t even really met him. I mean, I was in the room when he were introduced, but I didn’t really talk to him. Well, and neither did he. His brother and Dad did most of the talking and—" She cut herself of when she realized she was rambling. And that she had specified which one of the Jones brothers she was supposedly not thinking about.

She stared down at her hands clasped in her lap as Red gave a low hum. The two were silent as she continued to brush Emma's hair until it flowed down her back in gentle, golden waves.

"The lieutenant, right?" Red broke the silence as she placed the brush down on the vanity.

Emma sighed. "Yeah."

"Snow told me you couldn’t stop looking at him." Red picked up a necklace with a silver swan charm with an emerald set as the eye.

Emma was silent as she held her hair. The brunette clasped the chain behind her neck, and she let her hair down.

"You know you can’t get too attached, Emma." She paused for a moment, resting her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "He’s a navy man, and you're a princess."

She gave a barely perceptible nod. "I know." She sighed again. "It’s dumb anyway. Like I said, I don’t even know him."

Red gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, it’s time for dinner." With that, she left Emma to her own thoughts.

She stood staring at her reflection for a moment. "He’s just a lieutenant. You can’t get attached."

And even though no words had been exchanged between them, Emma felt her chest tighten just the slightest bit at the thought of blue eyes and dark hair.

Tags: @superchocovian

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fortheloveoffanfic · 4 years

Text

Put Me In a Movie

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n- Every time I tell myself I’ll post at 8:30, I get distracted *face palms*)

Summary Prologue 1 2 3

Chapter 4- Already Hurt

Y/n crossed her legs, looking away, her dark sunglasses blocking out the warm yellow rays. For probably the fifth time that hour, she used the joint of her thumb to push them further up the bridge of her nose. That was another one of her telling habits. It was, as it always was in Chicago, windy and from her seat on the cafe’s patio dining area, Y/n could hear the ever existent bustle of traffic; blaring horns in the distance and the hum of moving vehicles. Still, the noise wasn’t enough to drown her thoughts, or the words that she didn’t particularly want to hear.

It was her fault. She was wrong. She was the jerk, the asshole, whatever you wanted to call it.

It wasn’t something that Y/n didn’t already know and it wasn’t a difficult deduction either, but coming from her own father, it kind of stung. “Are you even listening to me?” His familiar baritone broke her thoughts and Y/n was forced to turn back to him, sitting across from her at the round wicker table. Her father, she hadn’t gotten much from him when it came to defining features, some people said they had the same nose, but she never saw it. Y/n had gotten other things though; fame and a name in the industry. Roger was a director, not a director like Jackson though, sure, Jackson was considered a genius in his genre, but Roger had excelled in several, accolades populated the shelves of his Los Angeles home and he was a favorite among the critics. He was a good man too, Y/n was lucky to have him as a father, even if he hadn’t been there for half her childhood.

“Of course I’m listening dad,” she sighed, trying to fully redirect her attention, picking at the sleeve of her disposable coffee cup. After Luke had left, she had called Roger, practically begging him to come to Chicago, craving his advice. He’d know what to do, he always did.

Well, most of the time.

Always would imply that he’d never been wrong. And boy had he been wrong, one telling example; his marriage.

“It doesn’t look like you’re listening,” Y/n could almost see the pointed look that he’d blocked out via his own shades. Taking a swing of his black coffee, Roger paused before he continued, “You wanted my advice, and that’s it.”

“Listen to my heart, was your advice dad,” needless to say, it wasn’t the fatherly wisdom that Y/n had been seeking when she called him on Saturday, “I want,” she gestured with her hands, not really knowing what words would be right, “I want you to tell me what to do.”

Roger chuckled quietly, shaking his head, “Kiddo, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that,” he sighed, his expression sobered once more and he leaned forward a little, planting an elbow on the table top, “Look, I love you, you know that, and I’ll always want the best for you, but this time around, you’re the only one who knows what that is. What I can tell you is that if you really loved Luke, then you wouldn’t have done what you did.”

“I never said that I loved Luke,” Y/n grumbled despondently.

“My point exactly,” at that, Y/n frowned, looking down at her lap. Truthfully, she understood what he meant, if she really was committed to Luke, then what happened with Keanu wouldn’t have been possible, what she felt for Keanu wouldn’t have existed either. But Y/n had stringed him along, and then broken his heart.

“I’m just like her, aren’t I?” Behind her shades, she blinked away tears, taking another sip from her cup, hoping to swallow her emotions.

Roger sighed heavily, reaching across the table for Y/n’s hand, squeezing affectionately, “You’re mother’s a good woman,” he reminded her. Often, Y/n would wonder if he actually meant that when he said it.

“A good woman that broke your heart,” dragging her lower lip through her teeth. The memories were ones that she easily recalled; her father leaving for months on end for work and her mother, Elaine, bringing her fifth grade math teacher to their home, telling her that it was a secret that she’d have to keep from her father. At ten, Y/n didn’t really understand, but she’d kept her mouth shut. But, as all dark secrets do, it eventually came out. Roger had come home early to surprise Elaine for their anniversary, only to find them lounging in the pool, in the backyard of the house he’d built for them. The whole thing had turned into a loud verbal exchange; she blamed him for never being there, he accused her of not appreciating everything he’d done for their family. In the end, Roger had left, but even through their muddy divorce, Y/n had clung to his side, and as she grew into a woman, she’d started blaming her mother for his loneliness and hurt, promising herself that she’d never be like that.

Shaking his head, Roger passed a hand over his short, graying hair, “This isn’t about me,” that was enough to tell Y/n that he didn’t want to get into the less than favorable memories and that he was ready to change the topic, “This about you, you and Luke and…..” Though she’d told him a lot about the last two weeks, Y/n had intentionally neglected Keanu’s name, it was bad enough that she’d cheated, she didn’t want to imagine what her father’s reaction would be when would be if he found out it was someone just over thirty years her senior.

Patiently, Roger awaited Y/n’s response, hoping she’d at least drop a name, but instead she just dismissed it with a short wave, “Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t see me like that anyway,” audibly, Y/n exhaled, her thoughts running to Keanu, how much it really hurt knowing that he didn’t see her the way she’d started seeing him. Y/n was never expecting to feel like that, she’d thought that after Luke left, she’d miss him more, but in the days passed, she’d missed Keanu more. Sure, they’d tried to return to some semblance of what they shared before, but they had found that even without a third party involved, things just weren’t the same, there was something about seeing your friend naked that changed everything.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Roger didn’t need Y/n to say it to know how upsetting the whole situation was for her, he wasn’t willing to discount what she’d done, and even if he had never met Luke, from the stories he had heard, Roger knew he was a good man. But still, Y/n was his daughter, his pride and joy, and he’d always have some kind of sympathy for her, no matter what she’d done. So, even if she was a grown woman and he could no longer fix her problems, he’d still support her.

Keanu’s eyes were trained on the script, though he wasn’t exactly reading it. The words all seemed jumbled and uninteresting and his mind foggy and clouded with confusing thoughts, most of them involving Y/n. After brunch, he’d hung out with her a couple times, but things had felt awkward and lacking. Her words, much like his, were totally counteractive to her actions, Y/n kept reminding him that things were okay between them, but had declined his offers to meet in his room and as such, they had only met in neutral places; the hotel’s restaurant, a cafe that they both liked near where they were filming and of course, on set. She’d even refused to have breakfast with him that morning.

Even though they kept assuring each other that things were okay, Keanu could tell they weren’t, and worse yet, he was positive that something was up with Y/n, she had actively brushed off his concern, but Keanu could tell; she was way quieter than usual and she seemed far away most times, deep in thought. He wondered if it had anything to do with Luke’s abrupt departure.

With a heavy sigh, Keanu closed the script, casting his gaze to the city, visible from his place on the balcony, Lake Michigan not too far off in the distance. Truthfully, it had become a little annoying to think about her that much, especially when he couldn’t really assign a feeling to the thoughts. Everything was just so muddled and confusing and it didn’t help that he could barely tell how she felt. Keanu wished that it could be easier, or at the very least, he could talk to someone about what was going through his head. But alas, the last thing he wanted was for his mother or his sisters to give him a lecture on how he shouldn’t have even been hanging around someone Y/n’s age.

“Ugh,” he groaned audibly, tossing the script to the glass topped coffee table stationed next to the wicker lounge chair. Leaning forward, Keanu planted his bare feet on either side of the chair, scrubbing his hands over his face. Raking his hands through his hair, Keanu swung his left leg over, moving to collect his stuff and head inside. Maybe he could head to the hotel’s gym, spend a few hours there with his headphones in; that should clear his head.

For what felt like the millionth time since she’d laid down, Y/n turned, that time laying on her stomach, draping an arm on the cold pillow next to her. The position was comfortable, for all of five minutes, and unfortunately, within those five minutes, she couldn’t fall asleep. Groaning, annoyed, she rolled again, coming face to face with the alarm clock, which only seemed to mock her plight. In bold green, the time read as 2:57. There she was, at nearly three am, unable to catch a wink of sleep.

Groaning, Y/n shoved the covers down slightly, finally settling on her back. It wasn’t like she wasn’t tired, she was, her body was heavy from ten grueling hours of filming; they hadn’t stopped until it was nearly one in the morning and even if they wouldn’t be cooperative and stay shut, Y/n’s eyes burned. The problem wasn’t physical, it was mental. All Y/n could think about was everything that had happened in the past two weeks; the kiss they had tried to brush off, the night she had spent with Keanu, Luke walking out on her, how guilty she felt and finally, her father’s words, telling her that he couldn’t do much more than offer her a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

It all swam around Y/n’s head, the thoughts bombarding each other and eventually coming together in the collective agreement that they would keep her awake, even if she had work the next day. With a defeated huff, she sat up, dragging her fingers through the mess that was her hair. Briefly, she wondered, if by some long shot, Keanu was awake too.

Don’t think about him.

The reminder took her by surprise and Y/n absently shook her head. She’d been trying to do that recently, telling herself to not think of him when they weren’t together, just so she could bury whatever it was that she felt for him. But it was never to any avail, Keanu had continued to be one of the constants on her mind. It was becoming a pain, especially when she knew that he probably wasn’t even thinking of her.

That hurt.

With a heavy sigh, Y/n swung her legs off the bed, discarding the sheets and stripping as she walked towards an open suitcase. She needed to clear her head, and she knew just where she wanted to do that.

Slowly, Y/n changed out of her pajamas, into a powder blue bikini, a cute one that pushed her breasts together, with a decorative knot in the center and an inch of loose ruffles beneath the cups. The bottoms were simple in comparison, sporting a regular cut though still boasting a scandalous amount of skin. Y/n threw on a floral printed, black and white cover-up over her ensemble, grabbing her phone and key card as she headed out.

She’d been to the hotel’s interior pool a few times before since they’d been there, but Y/n had quickly found that she preferred it in the dead of night, when most of the other guests were asleep or just flat out uninterested in an impromptu swim. That way, she could have it to herself. It was the perfect place to unwind and clear one’s head.

Like the rest of the hotel, the room with the awning pool painted the perfect picture of modern luxury; high ceilings and marble floors, the tiny lights embedded into the ceiling dancing on the seemingly blue water. Because it was so late, Y/n was naturally expecting to have the pool to herself, prepared to swim a couple laps and maybe lounge in the water for a while, though, when she caught a glimpse of a familiar silhouette doing the same, she swore quietly, “Fuck!” The lonesome swear echoed, drawing his attention.

She hadn’t seen him since leaving set earlier and she certainly wasn’t planning on running into him at the hotel’s pool. She was trying to not think of him, not give her brain more material to work with.

“Y/n? Hey,” Keanu stood, the water coming up just past his waist, the long, vertical scar on his stomach taking on a light shine and his black swimming trunks barely covering strong thighs was visible in the low lighting. As he waded closer to her end, he brushed wet, dark hair out of his face. “Couldn’t sleep huh?”

Y/n inhaled nervously, of all the men in the world she had to be alone with the one who could rile her up with just a look. Stepping back a little, ready to turn and go back to her room, Y/n gripped the neck of her cover-up, “Yeah,” she agreed, “You probably wanted to be alone,” she rambled, “I’ll leave.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I can leave,” Keanu folded his arms on the tiled edge.

Y/n shook her head again, “No,” she dismissed, “You were here first. I’ll just go,” without waiting for him to object, Y/n was turning around and walking towards the door.

“Wait!” He called after her, surprising Y/n. When she turned again, Keanu had stepped back a bit, his arms spread out on either side, “Let’s not be ridiculous this thing is huge. Just get in, we can keep our hands to ourselves,” he joked lightly.

Y/n mulled on Keanu’s offer for a minute. There was no reason for one of them to leave, not really. Friends shared pools all the time, they were friends. Besides, a couple weeks ago, they wouldn’t have even given something like that a second thought before getting in.

She smiled tightly, walking over to one of the sleek lounge chairs, discarding her key card and cell, “Why not?”

It was wrong, but Keanu kept his eyes on her as Y/n’s lithe fingers went to the knot holding her ensemble together, sucking in a sharp breath when she undid it at an unhurried pace. The thin fabric slid off her shoulders, revealing the two-piece she was wearing underneath, something below the water twitching appreciatively. If she looked good when he was drunk, she looked absolutely beguiling then. Y/n didn’t let the material fall, instead catching it with her fingers and draping it on the chair.

For a hot minute, Keanu looked on, entranced by the way the blue bikini top exaggerated the fullness of her cleavage and how the skimpy panties hugged her hips. The little stud at her navel winked, teasing him. Keanu wasn’t sure if Y/n noticed his staring, but his hooded gaze stayed on her as she sashayed towards the pool, down the impressive steps.

The water was deep enough to cover her above the stomach and while he continued standing there, trying to shake himself out of the moment, Y/n disappeared beneath the clear blue, swimming around him, her legs gently paddling around him, before she reemerged a few feet away. Keanu paddled backwards in return, trying to put a bit more space between them.

Y/n’s wet hair clung to her skin, some of it sticking to her shoulders and neck, though none of it was enough to cover the exposed parts of her boobs and Keanu had to keep reminding himself to not check her out. Clearing his throat, he searched for something to fill the silence, the little splashing noises just weren’t cutting it, “So,” he dragged his lower lip through his teeth, “How did the meeting with your manager go?”

Y/n furrowed her brows for a minute, almost forgetting that she’d told Keanu that she was meeting with Walter instead of telling him that she was meeting with her father, “Oh!” Her eyes lit up in recognition, “Yeah, it was okay. He just wanted to…..tell me about a prospective contract.”

That was probably the worst lie she’d ever told.

“Ah,” Keanu nodded slowly, sensing her trouble with the subject, “Wanna talk about it?”

Well, she really couldn’t, considering it didn’t exist. Y/n’s mind went wild looking for a way to change the subject, eventually only turning up with a foolish, childish strategy. Without Keanu noticing, she reared on hand back, biting back a smirk as she splashed him, a tiny wave hitting him square in the face, “Nope,” she popped her lips at the last leg of the word.

“Wow,” Keanu chuckled quietly, “That’s very mature of you,” he teased, just before retaliating. Y/n stumbled back in surprise when Keanu splashed her with a slightly bigger wave.

“Talk about maturity,” Y/n playfully rolled her eyes, her grin matching his. For a bit, as they continued like that, things felt the way they did before, comfortable and like they could just be together without worrying. She didn’t realize much she truly missed Keanu until those moments spent in the pool, going to and fro in a splash war. Their laughs bounced off the marble walls, and they both tried to ‘one up’ each other.

“You’re so bad at this,” Keanu jeered, making Y/n stumble again.

“Me?” She shot back incredulously, stopping for a minute, “It’s not my fault your hands are fucking huge. You obviously have an unfair advantage.”

Keanu scoffed his laughter, “I beg to differ, this is a game of strategy, not brawn, little one.”

Y/n was about to spat something about how he was wrong, argue that his size did give him an advantage, but his last words left her speechless; her eyebrows raised and her lips ajar. Little one. Why did she like the sound of that?

Within a few seconds, Keanu seemed to realize what he’d said too, his smile fading. He hadn’t meant for it to slip out and that certainly wasn’t the kind of nickname someone gave a friend, “Y/n,” he began, ready to apologize and explain that he hadn’t meant anything by it, “I’m-”

“Luke left me,” she blurted out, cutting him off, for some reason thinking that would help him relax. The air around them seemed to change yet again, though that time it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was just tense. The kind of tense that subconsciously made Keanu step closer. As he did though, Y/n walked backwards, not really to get away from him, but to see if he’d followed her. Something in her mind wanted to know how far he’d go.

“When?” Keanu frowned, not knowing if she wanted comfort, pity or for him to continue their not so PG game of cat and mouse.

“Saturday,” she managed, moistening her lips. Keanu could see her eyes grow darker as he drew closer. He liked seeing her like that, all small, sexy and easy for him to just snatch up, “After brunch.”

The rough wall of the pool hit her back, catching her by surprise and before she knew it, Keanu was merely a few inches away from her, their bodies so close she could feel his heat but not touching. “Why?” Reaching out, Keanu used the tip of his finger to brush some stray hair away from her face, his feather light, barely there touch, sending shivers up her spine.

“He thinks there’s something going on between us,” the breathy admission escaped her lips and Y/n could see that like hers, Keanu’s pupils were dilated, his whiskey eyes darker than usual. Their proximity was blurring. Half of her wanted things to go further while the other told her than they needed to stop. She knew which half she was leaning towards.

“Is there?” Keanu tilted his head, his gaze roaming the visible parts of her body, his fingers itching to skim her curves.

“You said there wasn’t.”

“So did you,” Keanu shot back, without missing a beat. When Y/n couldn’t come up with a response, Keanu spoke again, his voice gravely and low, “What do you want, little one?” That time, the words were intentional and Y/n’s breath hitched and she had to press her thighs together.

“I…..” Nothing of substance came and when her silence went on for too long, Keanu cocked a wicked smirk, turning to leave, “Where are going?”

“I told you that I’d keep my hands to myself tonight,” he shrugged, already padding up the steps of the pool grabbing a towel to dry himself off, “I like to keep my promises,” he winked and Y/n couldn’t help but be a bit frustrated.

With the fluffy white fabric had lapped up most of the water, Keanu pulled on a pair of low riding sweatpants over his damp swimming trucks, though that was the very least of Y/n’s problems. Without another word, Keanu threw on an old t-shirt and roped the towel around his neck, gripping the ends as he walked away, “Keanu?” Y/n called after him, prompting Keanu to pause to look at her, “Would you have fucked me like that if we were sober?”

Cocking a confident grin, “No,” he chuckled, “I would have fucked you way better.”

*********

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @paanchu786 @thesadvampire @fanficsrusz @fickensteinn @ladyreapermc @babygirltaina @septimaseverina @snatchedbylele @omg-imagine

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves fanfic #john wick x you #john wick x reader #john wick fanfic #put me in a movie #fanfic #ff #fanfaction #chapter 4 #keanu reeves fanfiction #lana del rey

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koscheimaryas · 3 years

Note

REVERSE: o meu muse se declarar pro seu à meia noite do ano novo + harpia

o meu muse se declarar pro seu à meia noite do ano novo ─ starring daria and harper

It had been 364 days ever since Daria had seen her house that bright. Silver and white ornaments, tissues hanging on the walls and details everywhere made the place look like anyone’s New Year’s dream, hers included, if it wasn’t for her constantly damp mood. Throwing a party on that kind of occasion couldn’t even pass by as her own choice anymore; it was an obligation. People at school waited eagerly for their invites for any of the bashes the girl was known for hosting, always the craziest, fanciest and most expensive ones. Her best friends harassed her for details of the celebration for weeks. The football team lightly threatened her every time she seemed discouraged. Unknown people who found her number somewhere bombarded her phone with texts begging to be put on her list, while some of them didn’t even bother asking anymore. In the end, everyone worth knowing ended up on the Hwang mansion, basking on her little ray of sunlight for as long as she’d let them.

That much popularity had a pricey cost. It had been ages ever since the girl had truly enjoyed any of her parties; hosting one of those had always given her headaches, making her forget the times where the things she did for herself actually brought her any joy. All she ever did those days was ward off weird, random people who wanted to crash the place, stop her friends from locking themselves inside her off-limits bedroom, check twice and thrice if her father’s cabinets and all his expensive liquor were properly locked up. By running around the house for the entire night, she lost whatever fun happened and all the scandals that took place upon the pool, the secretive gardens and any other dark corners around her sprawling estate. In the end, the only moment that gave Daria a reason to laugh a little was the most unexpected one; as soon as her security crew notified her that her fellow classmate Harper and his stoned crew were waiting at the gates, the girl prepared herself for some well needed distraction.

That time, the exact reason why her mood couldn’t be called the brightest was the same one that still made her parties the slightest bit memorable for her. Harper Kang was an incognito; he and his good for nothing friends never seemed to care much about her and her own clique, but were always assiduous presences every time invitations were sent over. They never got any, but that had never stopped them for showing up. With that lazy, shiny and stupid smile of his, Kang got away with pretty much anything, especially her tight security, who got along with him and his boys as soon as they got to know them. Daria didn’t even care anymore. All went well as long as he didn’t look for her; lately, however, she had to hide from the boy and his dubious attempts to have her attention, something that had never made any sense until Christmas. At first, Hwang wondered if that was another one of his pastimes, getting her worked up and fuming every time he showed up on her line of sight. And then the kiss happened. Whatever sane thought that ever constituted her mind had made way to the worst mess she had ever gotten herself into, and the cause of it had no idea how rattled he had left her.

Harper’s lips pressing down on hers was a scene that the girl repeated on her brain over and over as soon as she woke up, made her way throughout the day, and then went to sleep. She thought about that while studying. Working out. Swimming in her pool. Going through her cheer routine. Breathing. The ever so chaste touch, so trivial, and yet the one thing that stuck for the entire week, until that New Year’s Eve. Daria had had countless boyfriends through the years, thousands of experiences, enough to not care about what had happened just a few days ago. But the misery of not being able to forget that stupid kiss, no matter how hard she tried, still made zero sense to her. It was Harper, after all. Harper, the lazy one, the stoned guy, the carefree soul that crossed her path way too many times for her liking. The one who enjoyed messing with her to an unhealthy amount, unreasonably, who always sent dozens of texts and stupid jokes that were constantly left unanswered. Was that another one of his jokes? Did he really take her for that much of a fool? Maybe that was his plan all along, she thought for the thousandth time that day. Maybe he knew how crazy he’d let her by doing the one thing she never thought he had the guts to do. Kang just never counted with the possibility of her finding out that the moment they had shared hadn’t been so repulsive, not in the slightest.

By the time people started filtering from the gigantic gates of her estate, Daria had already had her way with two thirds of a very expensive bottle of champagne. She greeted her guests with a lazy smile, her usual elegant arrogance lost after that many glasses, sauntering around the place with the easiness and poise only she could master. Looking that much prim and pretty in a sparkly, tiny dress, the cheerleader was everyone’s dream and possibly worst nightmare. Such perfection, however, made for a perfect cover up for the fact that ragged, carefree Harper was all that went through her head. That was the most idiotic situation Hwang had ever gotten herself into. For a kiss under the mistletoe to rattle her like nothing ever did before, and to writhe with the need to understand what her classmate wanted from her, once and for all. The party was a great place to corner him and question him about it, if it wasn’t for the fact that she’d run miles away from him before staying in the same room as that guy. That spoke volumes about her nervousness and nothing about how repulsive she found him, just a few weeks ago.

She knew the moment Harper and his crew had arrived in the house; the music changed for whatever upbeat track they chose, laughter and screams filled the space by the pool where most people mingled. Daria’s parties had the amazing factor of bringing together cliques that would’ve never uttered a word to each other, and the stoned friends were the glue that kept everything tight. The girl quickly took the opportunity to disappear inside one of the rooms of her house under the excuse of having to check if anything had been broken, but Kang knew better. In a matter of seconds, there he was, tailing behind her and making it hard to breathe. The minutes ticked closer and closer to midnight, to a new year, and yet Hwang couldn’t seem to get her thoughts right. Again, she found herself inside the same place her classmate had cornered her back on Christmas, the roomy living room once filled with boxes of presents, now devoid of anything holiday-themed, if it wasn’t for the damn mistletoe still hanging by the window. A hilarious joke from the cleaning crew.

“That wasn’t supposed to be here.” She pointed at the mistletoe swaying gently by the evening breeze, a morose laughter escaping from her lips. That time, Harper hadn’t even needed to chase her around the house until she couldn’t hide anymore, for the alcohol made for great strength and courage. The need to understand whatever the hell was happening was also a strong indicator to the reason why Daria stared curiously at Kang, her mouth pursed in a distasteful little sneer at his usual carefree countenance. “You must think you’re so funny, Harper Kang. You get in here, have your way inside my house, enjoy my party. Kiss the host and then leave like nothing happened.” The girl slurred as each crooked step brought her closer to him, her finger now pointed at his chest, champagne sloshing from her glass. “I’m not stupid. Plus I’m not even mean to you. Like, I even pretend you don’t exist. Why won’t you leave me alone?”

Whatever happened after that was a blur. Daria acknowledged Harper grabbing her by the shoulders, not apologizing for playing with her that way - because it wasn’t a joke, he said. She was there, intently staring at him as he told her that nothing was a game, his usually funny expression morphed into pure seriousness. Her alcohol-soaked brain just couldn’t seem to process any of that information. Later, the cheerleader would remember how absurd his words sounded as he admitted liking her for the longest time, always chasing her around not for the thrill of it, but because he cared. The rest was easy enough to piece; she realized the reason why that kiss had never left her thoughts, not even for a single moment, wasn’t because it was unusual. It was because it felt good enough to populate her mind like nothing else did before. Yet Hwang would drop dead before announcing that to anyone, especially her fellow classmate.

Precisely here, she repeated over and over in her head, the words he had proffered just a week ago before pulling her near. Precisely there. The two under the outdated mistletoe, the loud partygoers counting down the seconds until midnight. Harper’s pretty mouth getting closer and closer until everything that kept them apart was a single breath, his eyes twinkling in the dark. Daria had no recollection of who broke the distance first; she just knew that, the moment the bell tolled midnight, she had once again kissed Harper Kang. Weird, stupid Harper Kang. Hopelessly in love with her Harper Kang. And that didn’t disgust her, not even in the slightest.

#deathcabforplots #𝐭: answered #𝐨𝐭𝐩: daria x harper

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 106 prt 2

Lance’s question was directed at both of them. Keith nuzzling into his boyfriend’s chest

“Babe. You don’t need to ask me. She’s your mum. It’s okay to want her here”

Coran’s smile lessened a little

“I’m sorry that’ll have to wait until you’ve regained some of your strength. It’s taxing enough on you, as well as controlling your ego. Rest today, then I’ll bring her by tomorrow”

Lance’s body seemed to slump without moving. He might not be close to Krolia, but Mami meant the world to Lance. If Lance needed her there, he’d pick her up himself

“I understand”

He shouldn’t have to

“I know this is hard. Krolia questioned me already over your condition. She was quite angry at being able to help. Until I’m certain there won’t be a mishap, we must air on the side of caution. If Keith was not your partner I wouldn’t have allowed him to stay as it was”

“You let everyone visit last night”

There was bite Keith’s tone as he pointed out the obvious

“As Lance was sleeping...”

“Babe, it’s okay. He knows that if something did happen, I’d be devastated. If he says it’s safer for us to wait, then I’ll have to be patient”

“It’s not fair”

“It’s not, but I’ve got you... honestly, I’d probably sleep through her visiting. The pair of us would be snoring our heads off. Coran can I have that injection now? I wanna take a nap”

Lance was trying to hard. If he could see his boyfriend’s face he knew he’d see that fake smile. This sucked

“Sure, my boy. Just a quick jab and then I’ll be on my way”

As quick as Coran appeared he was gone again. Keith still mad at him, and Lance knew it

“Babe, it’s okay”

“It’s not. She’s your mum. You should be able to have your mum here. You don’t have to hide how much you want her”

“No, but I do have to be careful... I really do want to see her... but not if I could hurt her”

“You wouldn’t do that”

“You can’t say that for sure”

“I can because it’s you. I can go...”

“No. No. I’ll see her tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m going to tell her”

“The truth?”

“I know that much... Keith, are you really sure you’re okay with this? You’re not trying to put my wants first?”

“No, babe. I’m scared and I have no idea what a father really is. I lost my dad too soon. And I’m probably going to be the worst dad ever...”

“You? I’m probably going to drop the baby”

“You’d catch them with those reflexes of yours”

Lance snorted at him

“I don’t think normal people make these jokes”

“Fuck normal. You’re going to be a good dad”

“No... we’ll be good dads together... I don’t want to lose it now I know they exist”

“Me neither... I’m scared too”

“I know you are... I’m just sorry I’m so sleepy. I want to talk to you better but I can barely keep my eyes open”

“That’s okay. Get some rest. I’m not leaving your side”

Lance was internally freaking the fuck out. He was pregnant. Baby on board. Life growing inside of him. His own personal version of that Alien movie where it burst out his stomach. There was a baby in him. Keith and his wonder dick had proved he definitely had great swimmers in there and now he was up the duff, bun in the oven... Pregnant.

In a lot of ways he was grateful for being so fatigued. He really did want to talk to Keith, but he was so damn tired that sleeping meant it was put off. Keith couldn’t possibly be as okay as he was making out. This wasn’t something small. This was like a whole life inside of him. They’d been careful... but not careful enough... and now he had a baby growing inside of him... and it was weird. Keith’s birthday weekend was approaching. He’d been looking forward to that too much, but if he went hiking, Keith would probably fret too much to enjoy himself. And then there were the others to consider. What did he tell them and when did he tell them? Pidge and Hunk were physical people. Pidge would drop into his lap for cuddles and Hunk would sweep him off his feet. That’s how it was. How did he tell that was a no go? And how was his baby even alive after what happened? What if they’d been hurt? What if something was wrong with them? He couldn’t stop the continuous bombardment in his sleepy head.

Keith was snoring against him. His poor boyfriend had to see him hurt again... and it’s been bad from what he’d said. He’d hurt him again. Scared him. He’d scared him so many times... but he... When this all sank in, what would he really say? When the shock was over they were left with the truth, would Keith still want a baby with him? Or would he ask him to abort? His damn stupid mind was already attached to the tiny thing knowing it existed. Part of him screamed with happiness, the dirty rotten traitor part. He wanted to be rational, but the idea of having a baby with Keith, though a surprise, was something he’d wanted long into the future when everything was over... He couldn’t... He wanted... He wanted to keep the baby... but he couldn’t do that if Keith wasn’t ready. This might be his body, but Keith was his heart and soul.

He’d had kind of the same talk with Coran when Coran had brought him lunch. Coran back and forth between being happy for them being realistic. His decisions no longer were purely his to make... He wondered if his mother felt the same. He was 3 years older than when she’d had him. Her brood already full of 4 mischievous kids. Kids were loud and messy. Scraped knees and blood noses came with the territory. Would their baby be fully human, or would it pop out with little bat wings and ears? Would he be able to cope? And would there ever be that urge for blood and to feed on them? It made him feel sick thinking about it.

But... he kept coming back to it. He was attached. This little life he and Keith had made. Their love had made a whole other human. No. More like their lust. They liked where they were. Keith job was finally making him happy. Lance was the one overthinking things, always stalling and pulling away. Acting his age went out of the window when Keith was around. His boyfriend had had a pretty shitty life. They both had. They both had the emotional scars to prove it. He wanted this baby. But he could very well lose it and all of this could be for nothing. Keith would put on a brave face, tell him it wasn’t his fault. When it would be. He didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to fall asleep and wake up covered in his own blood. He didn’t want to cause everyone pain... but most of all he was so fucking tired of being like this. With all these thoughts. What would his Mami think? She’d thought she’d never see him fall in love. She loved Keith. But this would drive his family further apart... and he was so sick of that. Luis wouldn’t understand... None of them ever could. They were human. He wasn’t. No matter how much he tried. If he was human, he wouldn’t be pregnant. His body would change. His stomach would round out. Would Keith still love him then? When he no longer looked like this? He’d never deny Keith access to his child. He’d never take that away from him, even if they didn’t work out. But would he be filled with longing for Keith every time he saw him? Would he cope with Keith moving on? He knew he wouldn’t. Keith was so fucking good to him. Too good to him. He was amazed how much love Keith had for him, especially seeing how much he’d hated him to begin with. If Keith had pulled that trigger, none of this would have happened. He’d never know what it was to love someone like he loved Keith. He didn’t want to hold Keith back. This thing with Honerva... he’d leave. He’d leave when it came time to go after her... and Lance wouldn’t stop him if that’s where he needed to be. Keith had been wounded by the loss of Krolia... Lance had Coran. Coran, Allura, Matt, Rieva, Hunk, Pidge, and his Mami... would Keith feel replaced?

Keith let out a rather loud nasally snore, his fingertips digging into Lance’s stomach. His boyfriend was so incredibly adorable. So soft and kind, under his anger loaf outside. He’d come a long way from when he thought he didn’t know how to people very well. He wasn’t the problem, it was the people around him who didn’t care what he had to say. Shiro and Adam did the best they could, but now Keith had a whole bunch of friends who loved him for him and his confidence had grown. He didn’t lurk in group chat anymore, sometimes even initiating conversation. He loved that. That Keith was opening up to them fully. He was so proud of his boyfriend... and now he was carrying his baby. Their baby.

Letting Keith’s snoring lull him back to sleep, he fell asleep still holding Keith’s hand.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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death-himself · 4 years

Text

Hidden in Shadows—Family Reunion

Summary: When Remus finds out Thomas has adopted his cousin, he just has to pay him a visit. And why not bring along his demon children as well?

Word Count: 1,668

Warnings: None(?)

(AO3 Link)

The day started with Remus frantically slapping Emile awake, patting his forehead at the speed of light. Emile groaned, swatting lazily at Remus’s hand. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Get a look at this!” A phone was shoved into Emile’s face. He blinked at the light, grabbing his glasses off the nightstand and scanning over what Remus was showing him.

It was a Youtube channel, run by a man who looked somewhat similar to Remus, with the same last name as him to go with his looks. “That’s my uncle!”

“Your uncle’s a Youtuber?” Remus nodded, eyes blown wide with excited surprise. “And he’s gay as fuck, but that’s not the point for once, look at this.” He pulled up what looked like a family photo with Thomas surrounded by three kids. Remus zoomed in on the eldest of the three.

“That’s my fuckin’ cousin! I met him once when he was four or something, I tried to get him to burn the house down!” Remy and Janus had woken up from the commotion, creeping over to listen. Janus looked over the picture, his eyes stopping on one shadowy corner. He hissed, backing away a bit behind Emile.

“Something wrong, Jan?”

“Someone’s in there.” Remus furrowed his brow, taking a closer look at the picture. He would usually assume it was just the shadows looking weird or his imagination messing with him, but you don’t just dismiss when an eight year old demon says that someone’s there.

In the shadowy corner was a very vague shape that looked kind of like a person if you squinted, tall enough to stand up on its toes and hit its head on the ceiling.

It didn’t look like much, probably not even enough to get the conspiracy theorists on it, but it was interesting nonetheless.

Emile looked over the picture for a moment. “Didn’t you guys say there was a bogeyman before you? Do you think they’re still out there?”

“Probably. What do you think they did to get kicked out by the dark bitch?” Remus asked. Remy mumbled out something that vaguely meant evil scary bitch as a form of agreement.

“The darkness never told me what he did. Just said he was bad at everything except stalking kids.” Janus answered.

“Well, that’s uh...” Emile looked back down at the picture Remus had pulled up. “Do you know where your uncle is? We could pay him a visit.” Remus shrugged.

“I think I remember. I think he lives down the street from where my dad used to live. Y’know, in that period of time after the divorce and before the die.”

“Do you still remember where that is?” Remus nodded, grabbing his jacket and backpack, already stuffing it with a flashlight, lighter, and swiss army knife before heading to the kitchen to grab snacks.

“It’ll be like an hour drive, so if we wanna go there, figure out what’s going on, and get back without your moms finding out, we’re gonna have to go soon.” Emile blinked, understanding that his moms had probably left only half an hour ago and wouldn’t be back for another six hours, but simply giggled and went along with it, getting Remy and Janus ready for the trip.

“How well does your uncle know you?” Emile asked as they pulled up in front of the house.

“I mean I visited twice with my dad when I was probably six, so...not very well!” He let Remy climb onto his back as a piggy back ride while Janus took Emile’s hand, pulling the hoodie hiding his nonhuman appearance further over his face.

They walked up to the door, Remus rapping on it a couple times before trying the doorknob. “Hey it’s open!” He turned the knob and made his way in confidently. His ears were immediately bombarded with screaming and crying, along with bags of groceries that had been placed down haphazardly on the ground.

“Roman, you’re gonna be okay, just breathe.”

“I’m bleeding!”

“Nosebleeds happen sometimes, it’s not a very serious thing, you just have to wait it out, alright?”

“But I’m bleeding!”

“Oh for the love of—Virgil could you get him some more tissues?”

“Yeah, sure.” The last voice came out as an echoing sigh and quiet footsteps came a bit closer. Remus peeked into the living room to see what was happening, only to come face-to-chest with whatever the hell that tall creature in the shadows of that picture had been.

The creature stared down at him for a moment, before backing away and growling, baring his razor sharp teeth threateningly. Remy did the same, growling from his perch on Remus’s shoulders. Emile gulped, looking back and forth in confusion, before realizing that Janus had let go of his hand and was growling as well, prepared to attack.

The unknown bogeyman seemed taken aback by having two like him growling at him, long enough for Remus to grin, peek around the bogeyman, and shout to Thomas, “Hey Uncle Thomas, looks like our demon children met!”

“Our what?” Thomas looked over the situation. “Wait...you’re Remus, right? My nephew? I think I saw you at John’s funeral.” His eyes widened when he noticed Remy and Janus. He opened his mouth as if about to ask questions, before sighing and shaking his head. “You know what? Virgil, tissues, please. We’ll deal with this after Roman’s nose stops bleeding.”

The bogeyman, Virgil, grumbled as he reached into one of the bags on the ground and pulled out a box of tissues, not taking his eyes off of the four for a second as he walked back around them to the living room. Emile smiled nervously at him, pulling Janus back over to him and holding him back by the arm.

Once Roman’s nosebleed was dealt with, they sat around the coffee table in the living room, Thomas bringing in coffee, tea, and chocolate milk for everyone. Virgil glared at Remy and Janus as Thomas handed him a cup of tea, mumbling a thank you and continuing his watch.

“It’s been a while since I saw you around, Remus. Have you been doing okay? Well...judging by all this you look like you’re doing alright.”

“Eh, was homeless for a bit, met Janus that way. Got to meet Em in person for the first time, became a father of two, y’know just your typical Tuesday.”

“You were homeless?”

“Did you not know that?”

“If I knew, I would’ve come out and helped you!”

“Oh.” Remus took a sip of chocolate milk, smacking his lips awkwardly. He shrugged. “Oh well.”

“You’re not still homeless right? You’re staying with Emile’s family?” Emile nodded happily.

“My moms are perfectly fine with it.” Relief filled Thomas’s body at that.

“Well that’s good. Now can we talk about, uh...” He looked across the table at Janus hugging Emile’s arm and trying to grab his coffee while Remy banged his cup against the side of the table and smiled at the sound.

“Oh yeah, I never introduced them! These are my precious children, Janus and Remy, they both tried to kill me when we met, but they’re my sons now. They were supposed to replace Virgil in the whole “bogeyman” department, but then stuff happened and now they’re my kids.”

“Huh.” Thomas thought it over for a moment, before smiling at Janus and Remy. “Well it’s good to meet you two. You can just call me your uncle.”

“Or grunkle! That’s what you’d be to them, right Dad?” Roman spoke excitedly.

“I guess so.” Remy babbled out something incomprehensible, which Emile responded to with “No, no more chocolate milk, kiddo.” Remy whined in response. Thomas looked back and forth between the two, before taking a deep breath and deciding to ask another time.

While Thomas, Remus, and Emile caught up and got to know each other, they allowed the kids to have fun together. Janus and Logan seemed to be having a battle over who was smarter while Remy crawled around and chased Patton in what they hoped was a game of tag.

Roman had been watching from the sidelines with Virgil in an attempt to be the mature one of the group, until Patton tagged him and he joined the game. After that Virgil didn’t seem to really know what to do with himself, so Thomas simply gestured for him to join them. “You’re closer to Remus and Emile’s age anyway” was Thomas’s reasoning.

Virgil joined hesitantly, not used to being around humans other than his dad and brothers. He listened for the most part, enjoying Emile’s calming words and tone of voice, as well as most of Remus’s sense of humor.

Soon the four had to head home. Patton hugged Remy and whispered something that only toddlers and extremely young children would understand, receiving a giggle from the three year old. Logan and Janus shook hands, having accepted each other as equals after almost two full hours of debating and arguing about taxes, houses, and other things they definitely knew nothing about.

Once they were gone Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan, and Thomas settled down in the living room, Patton and Roman falling asleep immediately after hitting the couch. Virgil ruffled Roman’s hair, taking a deep breath. While it was nice having Remus over, he preferred it being just the five of them.

“We should invite them over again sometime.” Thomas spoke calmly. “It’d probably be good for you to have friends around your age anyway.”

“I think I’m fine with just these guys.”

“Virge, they’re not even preteens. Having people your age around you is supposed to help with social skills and all that. So...just give them a try, alright?”

“Yeah, sure. They don’t seem too bad anyway.”

As Emile drove them home, he and Remus listened as Janus described in detail how his debate with Logan had gone and how he had definitely won, while Remy dozed off, barely strapped into his seat and drool coming out of his mouth.

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elysia20 · 3 years

Text

UNFORGETTABLE - PART 4

Chapter 3

Hogwarts express - 12:34pm

Elle was happy.

She was back with her friends.

But the thought of her father and brother associating with he who must not be named, sent shivers down her spine.

It caused the hairs on her arm to rise.

It left her with an uneasy feeling in her lower belly.

She didn’t want to believe it. How could she?.

Theodore was her twin bother. He told her everything.

Her father on the other hand, told her nothing. He may not have been the nicest of men, but working for the dark lord wasn’t a possibility. Surely.

Deep in thought, she almost missed the small tap on the door of the compartment.

Looking towards the sliding door, she met eyes with the kind, old trolley lady.

Giving her a warm smile, she reached into her bag for her purse.

After collecting a few coins, she proceeded to make her request.

“Please may I have, 2 liquorice wands, a chocolate frog and some fizzing whizzbees?’ She spoke gently to the old witch.

The old woman turned to her with a smile on her face, presenting her with her treats.

“There you go dear, that will be 2 galleons” she hummed towards Elle.

Elle swiftly handed her the coins, muttered a quick ‘thank you’ and retreated back into her compartment, but not without the older witch making a comment.

“Such lovely manners, just like your mother’ the witch looked to her with a smile.

Elle couldn’t help but feel a tad of guilt as the older witch spoke.

Looking down onto her lap, she could feel the tears well in her eyes.

Careful to not alert the others, Elle shifted her gaze and proceeded to look out of the window.

Watching the green fields pass her by.

Trying to rid herself of her thoughts.

Anything concerning Elle’s mother was a soft spot.

Despite the older witch giving her a compliment, even likening her to her mother caused her pain.

Though she died 14 years ago, the wound was still fairly fresh.

Theodore had never felt like this.

Elle had asked him many times how he felt about mother.

He never really had a proper answer. Stating he didn’t even know her, so he couldn’t really be sad.

That was the one thing about Theo that really pissed Elle off.

The only thing about him that really made her tick.

The fact that he was never truly open with his emotions.

I guess that was the Slytherin within him.

After glancing out of the window for a reasonable amount of time, Elle glanced back towards her group.

Ron and Hermione were arguing over something mundane - as usual.

Harry though, seemed to be in a daydream.

Pulling him from his thoughts Elle spoke “Something on your mind H ?”

He looked towards her with a sheepish smile , “Everything’s great, do you have something on your mind?” “No, not really, just thought you looked like you were deep in thought” she uttered.

He just smiled towards her while shaking his head.

Elle and Harry always had a special relationship. Despite, Elles father being alive, she considered herself to be an orphan.

One of her parents may have been dead, but the other blatantly pretended that she didn’t exist.

Elle was an orphan.

Harry may not have had the best upbringing but at least the Dursley’s acknowledged his presence.

Something Elle used to long for from her father. Just a little bit of recognition.

When she first learned to fly a broom, she expected her father to be happy for her - he was a keen quidditch player in his day.

Instead he congratulated Theo with a bone-crushing hug, while only giving a weak smile to Elle.

By the age of 8 Elle knew not to expect anything from her father.

Even on the twins birthday, Theo would get more praise, more appreciation, more LOVE.

That was something that Harry and Elle could relate on, they never received love from their families.

When Elle met Harry back in first year, they knew they were going to be two peas in a pod.

From sharing answers in potions class, to defending each other from Malfoy and his gang of gits, they knew that they were destined to be friends.

Now four years later, that statement remained true. Despite Harry endangering their lives each year, Elle had grown to love the specky boy. He had always been true friend. He had never lied to her.

She hoped the same could be said for her brother. In a moment of madness Elle decided to question him. She couldn’t wait till they got to Hogwarts. She had to know now.

In a quick movement, Elle rose to her feet.

All three of her friends, quickly planted their gazes on her questioningly.

“Elle, where are you going?’ Hermione asked her kindly. Ron just stared, while forcing yet another chocolate frog past his lips.

“…Oh I have to speak to Theo about something, I think I put something in his trunk by accident’ she stuttered quickly. Harry narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.

Elle was acting differently. He just knew it.

She hurriedly slid open the door and closed straight behind her.

She could see the trio looking at her cautiously but she didn’t care.

Briskly walking up the train corridor, narrowly missing people - the first years were acting crazy.

High on sugar, Elle presumed.

Approaching the Slytherin carriage, Elle placed her hand on the handle.

As she began to twist the handle, it wouldn’t budge.

She tried again.

She began to get flustered as she could see her peers around her, giving her strange looks.

As she was about to give up and go back to the trio, she heard a low silky voice mutter

“Do you need some help with that?’

As she turned around to see who owned the beautiful voice, she came face to face with the school heartthrob.

Cedric bloody Diggory.

Giving her a warm smile, he reached down to the handle, gave it a quick twist, and it opened straight away.

“Those Slytherins eh? They will do anything to keep people out of their compartment, including putting a charm on the door” he whispered with a smirk.

Elle giggled nervously.

Cedric looked down on her with a kind smile, “I’m Cedric”.

He stuck his hand out for her to shake, as a kind gesture.

Elle was staring at him.

She couldn’t help it. His smile could make butter melt.

He was beautiful.

Entranced by his beauty, Elle was still staring.

Cedric waved his hand across her face “Hello, is anyone home” he laughed.

Elle again laughed nervously.

“i’m Elle” she stuttered.

He chuckled “Well Elle, I guess I’ll be seeing your around then”

She giggled again.

‘What is wrong with you’ she scolded herself.

“I’ll make sure of it” he finished.

He gave her one last smile and then retreated to his compartment.

Turning back to face the Slytherin compartment, Elle took a deep breath and made her way inside.

She was immediately greeted with glares.

Glares of those who were angry that someone managed to open the door.

Glares because she was a Gryffindor.

Spotting Theo she mad her way up the corridor.

She was immediately bombarded with ‘hello’s’ from Pansy and Daphne.

After saying a quick hello, she turned to Theo.

“Theo” she spoke, “Can I talk to you”.

Glancing up at his sister, Theo went to stand up.

Malfoy placed a hand on his shoulder.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you blood traitor”. He hissed

Theo gave Malfoy a quick glance and forcefully removed his hand from his shoulder.

“Stop calling her a blood traitor you dick, she’s my sister, if she wants to talk, we’ll talk. It’s not like I need to ask you for permission” Theo muttered.

Malfoy just glared at them both.

Pulling Elle aside Theo began “What do you need to talk about? It must be quite severe considering you would never set foot in this carriage otherwise” he gave her a concerned look.

“ I just need to ask you something, I don’t believe it, but I just had to be sure” she whispered.

He looked towards her, the concern visible on his face.

“Did you have anything to do with what happened at the quidditch world cup?”. She muttered.

Theo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His own sister questioning him.

“No? What are you talking about?” He quickly responded.

Elle looked at him questioningly, ‘it’s just that Malfoy said…” she went on.

“Malfoy?” He stated. “When did Malfoy talk to you?” He whispered angrily.

“Just before I got on the train, he was antagonising me, so I insulted him, but he said that you were involved” she whispered back.

“Don’t listen to anything that dick has to say about me. He loves spreading rumours. He lives for it. Almost more than Pansy. Just know that whatever he says about me isn’t true. Okay?” He gave her a soft smile.

“Just try to keep your distance from him Elle.” he continued “he isn’t a good bloke, and I don’t want him picking on you because of your friends”. Said Theo, acting like a concerned big brother.

“Don’t worry T, being within breathing distance of that prick is even too much to handle, you don’t need to fret`’ Elle giggled.

Theo let out a chuckle.

He pulled her in for a quick hug and muttered “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He glanced down at her.

She simply shook her head and they parted ways.

“See you later” Elle muttered.

Theo gave her a quick wave and she made her way back the other side of the carriage.

Before she could even reach the handle, she heard a shrill voice squeak.

“ Ellllllllllllllllllllllle!!!!!!!! Don’t leave yet we have so much to catch up on, I haven’t seen you ALL summer” Pansy was waving her back over the the compartment, with a huge smile plastered on her face.

“Let her go, her presence alone makes me ill. I will never know why you would want to associate with a blood traitor like that” she heard a voice say angrily.

It was Malfoy.

She then heard a loud slapping noise, as Malfoy yelped “You dick, what was that for?”.

“You insult my sister, You’re going to get a slap” she heard Theo boldly announce.

“Drakey, I like Elle, she’s sweet” spoke pansy sweetly.

Elle thought to herself. ‘Drakey’. Gross. She would never fully understand how someone could be so in love with someone like Draco Malfoy.

Of course Pansy wasn’t the nicest of girls but surely she had standards.

But then again, the boy was a billionaire. And pansy was a gold-digger.

She understood now.

Ignoring pansy, she turned back to the door handle, twisting it abruptly and made her way back towards her compartment.

Upon arriving, she noticed the trio were in their uniform.

They must be approaching Hogwarts soon, she thought to herself.

Sliding open the door, she was met with a handful of hellos, as she entered the compartment.

Reaching up to her bag, she pulled put her robes.

“How did everything go with Theo? Did you get what you were looking for” she questioned.

“Yes. Everything’s fine” she stated.

Hermione stared at her.

“…and I remembered that I left that thing I was looking for in my room at home” she stuttered.

“Oh how suspicious, what was ‘that thing you were looking for’ exactly?” Ron questioned, with a brow raised.

Without missing a beat Elle replied “Tampons”.

Ron gulped nervously. Harry looked at Elle awkwardly, not wanting anymore information.

Hermione let out a giggle but stifled it with the back of her hand.

‘You see, I’ve been having a really heavy flow lately and I needed to make sure I had my tampons” Elle continued, knowingly making the boys uncomfortable.

Harry proceeded to stand up and leave the compartment.

Ron shoved his fingers in his ears and screamed “…IF I CANT HEAR YOU, YOUR NOT SPEAKING”

Elle giggled to herself with Hermione cackling beside her. Ron still screaming.

Realising the time, Elle pulled herself out of laughter and made her way towards the bathroom.

As she went to push open the door, it was pulled open from the inside.

Yet again she found herself face to face with the chocolate orbs of Cedric Diggory.

“Nice to see you again, although I thought it would be happening a lot later”. He smiled.

Elle giggled nervously. Mentally facepalming.

Plucking up some courage Elle stuttered ‘Twice in one day Mr Diggory, I think this is becoming a regular thing”.

‘where did that come from’ she thought to herself.

‘Is that so?’ Smirking at Elle, he moved closer. ‘For my sake, I hope that’s true” He gave her a cheeky wink and then walked away.

Did THE Cedric Diggory just wink at her?

She watched him walk down the carriage.

Smirking to herself, Elle walked into the bathroom.

She looked slowly into the mirror, smiled and muttered.

‘This is going to be a fun year at Hogwarts”.

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy #cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagines

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alexisthedevilsfox · 4 years

Text

Hi guys, this is special moodboard because there’s a story attached to it. It’s @lace-maze fault because she mentioned Soulmate AU and I immediately had an idea for a story.

It’s Schneeplebro (Henrik x Chase) and it’s Soulmate AU where the first thing they say to you is written on your body (in their handwriting).

@pistachio-lan @murder-schmurder - Tagging you two because I think you might like it 😉

Also… Thank you, Lace for being my beta reader and helping me with the right words and stuff 💕💕

Now… without further ado, let’s begin.

♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️

“Well hello there, handsome.”

That was written on Henrik’s forearm in messy handwriting and when he was old enough to understand it, he liked the idea that his soulmate would think he’s handsome. It was something he looked for when he had a bad day or when he freaked out because of exams.

However, as time went by, he realized that finding his soulmate would be almost impossible. A lot of people ended up never finding their soulmate. At best, it took years and years to finally find them. Henrik didn’t have that luxury; with him trying to get his PhD, he was glad to find time to just sleep and eat. The sentence on his hand became what it always was, just a sentence. He knew it was there but he just ignored it and two years later, he met Lydia. They met in the library and found that they had a lot in common, so they decided to go on a date. They both pretended that their soulmate wasn’t waiting somewhere in the world for them, because they had each other, and that was enough. It was enough to get married and have two children and Henrik knew that they were happy.

But then, Lydia found her soulmate.

It was a tennis instructor named Rick, someone so obviously Lydia’s other half. Henrik couldn’t even be angry at her. Not when he could see she was happy, far happier that she had been with him.

Henrik was jealous. The last time he cried was the day their daughter was born, but he couldn’t help crying again now. Lydia tried to comfort him. She put her hand on his shoulder and with a gentle smile told him she believed he would find his soulmate too. It was bittersweet, but he was grateful that at least for a while she was his wife.

Once he calmed down, they decided what to do next. They sat down with James and Freddie and explained what had happened and what’s going to happen now. They already knew about soulmates, because he and Lydia had already talked to them about it, but they still had a lot of questions.

Both of them answered patiently and assured the kids that they still loved them and that none of this was their fault.

Divorce was fast after that and because Henrik himself didn’t need such a large house, he moved away. He found a small apartment that was enough, but of course there was an extra room for his kids. He was able to see them almost every weekend or when he had time off, and for which he was very happy and always pleased with the smile the kids gave him when he showed up.

Unfortunately, three years passed and he was still alone. He had assumed it, but he still hoped that maybe… maybe his soulmate would show up after all

♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️

One day, when Henrik had the kids with him again, he didn’t know what they could do, but his children came up with an idea. From what they were saying, Henrik understood that they were watching a man on YouTube who had a channel named Bro Average and that he was doing a variety of videos, including skateboard tricks. Apparently, there would be a show in their town that day where different people show their tricks and one of them should be the man. If the doctor remembered correctly, they said his name was Chase. They begged him to go and see him. What kind of father would Henrik be if he said no?

So right there Henrik was. He watched a bunch of teenagers and adults trying to break their neck in a cool way and he hated it. Well… it was impressive… that much he could say, but still… he saw the fractures and injuries that could have happened and he didn’t like it. But he also saw James and Freddie’s enthusiastic expressions, so he kept quiet.

Then, as soon as the man with bright green hair showed up on the ramp, his children and other people began to scream. He couldn’t be much younger than Henrik, wearing black jeans and a loose gray shirt. Henrik admitted to himself that the man was really cute, and with that smile and energetic appearance he understood why his children were watching him. He was introduced as Chase Brody and he gave the audience a wave. Then hopped on the skateboard and the show began. He was really good and the audience cheered and screamed his name until something happened. Henrik didn’t see what caused it, he only saw as the man fell down from a really high ramp and bumped his head. Someone screamed in horror and people ran to him.

Henrik knew subconsciously that they had it under control, but the doctor in him did not, so he jumped over the railing with a cry that he’s a doctor and ran to the injured man. Nobody tried to stop him, so he knelt beside the green haired man and examined him thoroughly. There was no blood and the man groaned in pain but opened his bright blue eyes, immediately fixating them on the doctor. For a moment Brody just looked at Henrik with a blank expression but then he smiled.

“Well hello there, handsome.” Said the green-haired man, and Henrik just shook his head. It seemed that Mr. Brody was perfectly fine if he was trying to flirt with him.

“I think you have a slight concussion but thank you” Henrik replied and helped Brody sit up. He wanted to look more closely at his head to make sure everything was all right. But then he realized what Brody had said.

“You just… you said my sentence.” He said in shock, staring into those bright blue eyes.

“And you said mine.” Brody smiled even more than before. “It’s nice to finally meet you, handsome soulmate.” He said.

“I… uh… I should take you to the hospital to… to make sure your head is okay.” The doctor said, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Nah… it’s fine. This isn’t my first rodeo. How about some tea instead? Or coffee. I don’t mind either. By the way… I’m Chase. Chase Brody.” The green haired man introduced himself.

“I’m Henrik but… I can’t right now. I have my kids with me because they wanted to see you. They’re your fans” He gestured toward where his kids stood. Chase glanced in that direction and waved as soon as he spotted them.

“That’s cool and we can take them with us. I also have children around the same age, so I know how to handle them.” Chase smiled again. Henrik was absolutely mesmerized by his blue eyes and smile. He was a really beautiful man and he really wanted to know more about him. That was why he agreed with what Chase had suggested.

They left the skatepark and, of course, picked up Henrik’s children, who were absolutely thrilled that their dad was a soulmate of their favorite YouTuber. They went to a café that was nearby and ordered tea for the kids and Chase, while Henrik ordered coffee.

While they waited for their ored, Freddie and James bombarded Chase with question after question, covering for their father’s nervous and excited silence. Thankfully, Chase just laughed and answered each one with all the patience of a good father. Henrik couldn’t help smiling as he watched, relieved that the three of them were getting along so naturally. He hoped Chase’s kids would like him just as much.

They were interrupted only when the waitress brought them their order, but as soon as they thanked her, they started to debate again. When Freddie and James were satisfied, they finally let their father ask questions. But Henrik was not like his eager children, and he let Chase ask what he wanted to know, so they took turns.

But after some time, Henrik had to excuse himself.

“I’ll be right back, just going to the bathroom.” He said, got up from the table and went to the toilet.

The doctor wasn’t gone too long, but when he was coming back to the table, he heard his son talking to Chase in a serious voice.

“You’re our favorite YouTuber and you’re cool but if you hurt our dad, you’re gonna pay for it.” James said and Freddie nodded in agreement. Henrik had no idea how to react. He wanted to scold them that they can’t talk to people like that, but he was also deeply touched that they care for him so much.

“Don’t worry, dudes. I would never want to hurt your dad. He’s my soulmate…” Chase starts answering, then notices Henrik and smiles at him, „and he’s even better than I ever imagined my soulmate to be.” he winked at him.

“You’re such a flirt!” Henrik laughed as he sat back in his chair.

“Yeah, but I’m your flirt from now on, so deal with it.” He gave him a quick answer, with a big grin on his face.

“God, what are you punishing me for?” the doctor jokingly asked.

“Hey!” Chase pouted, while Freddie and James giggled.

Henrik felt like he was dreaming. This was something he wished for so long that it was almost unreal that it really happened. He could feel tears in his eyes, so he blinked rapidly to stop them from spilling out. But one of them found its way out anyway, so he wiped it with his hand, hoping that no one noticed. But Chase did. He reached out and took Henrik’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly as an assurance that everything is okay. Henrik mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and smiled. He believed that from now on, things would be much better than ever… because now, he finally had his soulmate with him.

#ScheepleBro #ego shipping #egoshipping #chase brody #henrik von schneeplestein #soulmate AU #schneeplebro

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amorrdemiel · 4 years

Photo

When did my hair stop existing for me? As an expression of my own spirituality, sanctuary, creativity?

Looking back on my pictures, I can tell the exact moment this past summer that my longer hair stopped expressing the playful boy-ness that I felt inside of me. It was no longer rocking to Led Zeppelin and Greta Van Fleet, it was no longer messy and overgrown, no longer rowdy, free, and me. I began taming it, I began smoothing it, I wanted it to be acceptable, manageable and shiny. I didn’t truly even want this. I remember the day I went in to work and my hair had grown out of it’s messy, free bob and suddenly a plethora of boys began paying attention to me at work. I had already been working there for a month, and none of them has so much as looked my way, and suddenly now with my hair appearing more feminine, more manageable, I was getting bombarded with personal questions, attention, stares. I hate this because I struggle with vanity. I didn’t have vanity as an issue until I turned 19. I had always been the pudgy, awkward emo kid in the back of the class. Quiet, and unassuming. But when I lost all the weight, and my pixie cut that I had given myself in ninth grade grew out, I began getting much more attention. I didn’t struggle with it until I was 19. And mainly because I had always felt, even with my longer hair like in the first two pictures that I looked or appeared masculine the way I felt inside. A little boyish. The reason I was growing my hair out that long was because it felt spiritual to me. It felt beautiful, wild, and carefree. I barely did anything to it but wake up, wash it, and go. It was as strange and different and untamed as me. But I remember the exact day, I happened to get the opinion of some of my coworkers (all men, all who shameless flirted with me often, one went so far to lock me into his managers office to have a “discussion” but was really just trying to get me to go out with him and answer personal questions.) told me that I had always appeared as a “princess” to them. I struggled a lot knowing this. I was shocked. I felt so masculine. I felt so tomboyish. I know I was sweet, I know I was quiet. But it had always been obvious to me that I had a masculine side of myself. He was timid, yes. He was loving and sweet, yes. But he existed nonetheless. It really fucked me up to know that! To know no one saw me as I was. This was really hurtful. But worse, I buried it deep down inside because some void in me that craved a man’s attention and validation like my father had never given me, soaked it up. Soaked up being loved, being wanted, being chased. No man had ever chased me, no man had ever sat me down and told me I would like to sit with you. I don’t know what makes people prone to being “Daddy’s Girls” but that was me. I just wanted to be around him, be taught how to fish, how to camp. I wanted to shave with him, I wanted to be held and carried by him. But he never did. He just ignored me. And criticized me. So it was exciting that men, some very father like, were teaching me things, touching me, wanting to sit next to me, to catch me if I fell. And I would be willing to suffocate anything true in me that stood in the way of my little kid dream fulfilled. But that’s the thing, It could never be fulfilled. But nonetheless, I let them call me princess, I let them call me babygirl, I let my long hair represent something submissive, domestic, feminine when it had never represented that for me. I let it be seen as that because I wanted the “love”. (And I’ve made a lot of strides in my daddy issues. I’ve learned I wouldn’t have wanted him to teach me his version of masculinity, I wouldn’t have wanted to adopt his ways. I have the love of many men in my life that never demanded anything of me, and support me. Dynamic, different men who are wonderful and I’m so happy they exist.) But that’s the reason I cut my hair short for the second time in my life, because I wanted the noise to end. For people calling me princess, that’s why I hate my name Evelina sometimes. It’s a beautiful name, and I would have no problem with it, but when they see my name, they see my long hair, my curvy feminine body, they think this is a woman, and a woman only. And I’m not! I’m not just a woman. I don’t feel that way. I feel like a boy too. And it was so freeing to cut my hair. I didn’t get the attention I used to get, and there was some toughness for my ego to deal with, but my spirit loved it. It was given attention and air to breathe for the first time in a really long time.

So when in 2018, age 23, I really began delving deep into understanding my masculinity because it was the first damn year of my life that I didn’t live to make men want me and validate me 24/7, I returned to my hair being an expression of me. It was barely to my shoulders after having chopped it off at 20, but it felt like me, it felt boyish, it felt free. BUT THEN SUMMER 2019 HAPPENED. I don’t know what made me return to using my hair as a means to get attention when I had been so aware, surrounded by so many people giving me the freedom to be myself, to express myself. I don’t know why but it became that. I went to clubs, became friends with men I struggled to impress by being the cool hot lesbian friend, I felt the pressure to be wantable, manageable, shiny, and desired every day. So no wonder I got burnt out. no wonder I cut it short because I was feeling so so tired. It became a badge of my desirability. And when it was frizzy and untamed, I struggled and felt awful that day. Then I buzzed it, because I just wanted to start over. I wanted to be a human, for fucks sake. And now we’re here. I’ve learned so much, I feel human. And I’m craving long hair again. But not to appear feminine, not to appear masculine. To be an extension of my holiness, the mane of a wild horse, freedom. Sometimes I see hair and I think of how holy it is.

My hair is not a commodity, it is not an accessory for me to be desired by men or women (though I rarely have that issue with women, personally). I don’t want it to be anything but plain ol’ body hair. THat’s all it is. body hair. It doesn’t mean anything about you. And maybe this time, I can hold my truth bravely and closely. Maybe this time, vanity will not daze and confuse me. Maybe this timeI can be masculine, I can be feminine.

My sister and I spoke and I realized while I’ve made so many strides in understanding what masculinity means to me, I haven’t looked at my femininity. And I do feel it exist within me. I’ve honestly only seen it once, but I remember being so shocked that it existed just for me. And in this society, WE ARE SO TOLD THAT OUR FEMININITY EXISTS FOR SOMEONE ELSE. IT DOESN’T. IT IS YOURS TO FEEL, EXPRESS, DEFINE. IT IS YOURS. IT DOES NOT BELONG TO ANYONE ELSE.

And you know what, fuck you for making me feel like my body, my feminine expression, my masculine expression belongs to you. Fuck you if you made me feel like I had to be manageable, tidy, or wild and fun. Fuck you for telling me what to do with my own expression of self. I DO NOT BELONG TO YOU. I DO NOT BELONG TO MEN. I DO NOT BELONG TO OTHER WOMEN. I DO NOT BELONG TO SOCIETY. I Belong to earth! To myself. I Belong to the stars, and the love of you. Not the judgement of you.

This is the beginning of this awareness. Awareness of vanity, awareness of bending myself to you. I want to follow my own north star.

#personal #2020 #gay rant #sorry #may

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ijustwant2write · 5 years

Text

A Twisted Tale-Jon Snow x Baratheon!Reader

(GIF credit to @ladybingley)

Masterlist

Requested by @witch-of-letters

Summary: Throughout her life, (Y/N) has been intertwined with Jon Snow’s destiny. Ever since they first met as children, they were practically betrothed to one another, however it takes them years to realise this, and that means years of being apart and having their own stories before they meet again.

Characters: Jon Snow x Reader, Robb Stark x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Violence, gore, sadness, death, fluff

(A/N: Obviously there will be slight plot changes to the story line, time skips too and it’s a long one)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“(Y/N) Baratheon, will you marry me?” a young Jon Snow knelt in front of the princess, holding onto her hand. He only wished he had a ring to give her.

She giggled.“Yes, I will! When we are older though!”

He pouted, standing up again.“Why? That’s ages away!”

“Mother says that I am too young to marry, that we must be patient and wait.”

“But...but what if you don’t love me then? What if you love someone else?”

She boldly reached over and kissed his cheek, giggling again as the boy with pale skin blushed.“I won’t! I promise. And a princess must always keep her promise.”

“OK, I promise too! I can’t wait to marry you!”

Much time had passed since the sudden proposal,the innocence of it all fading away. The two lovers were now coming of age, both growing into their adult features and bombarded with rules that they must obey to uphold their reputation. However, this never strained on their love for one another, their promises still being kept. Ever since that day, (Y/N) had been told that she would stay and grow up in Winterfell alongside the Stark children; the young princess wasn’t sure why she had to be left behind, at first she thought it was because her family didn’t want her anymore. But before they separated, her father, King Robert, pulled her aside, affirming his love for her and that this was the best thing for her. Although she was young, she somehow understood what he meant, she could see the sadness in his eyes, the regret for leaving her here. She had pulled him in for a hug one last time, remembering his scratchy beard and plump body along with the kindness in his heart.

The Starks had been an amazing family to her. Catelyn had raised her to be an honest and wise woman, hoping that Sansa and Arya would take after (Y/N). Ned kept her safe and fed within Winterfell, and all in all, she had an amazing upbringing; not only that, but she had stayed with her love, Jon. Unfortunately, they soon learnt to hide it, knowing that a Baratheon could never be with a bastard, even if it was their dream to run away and be together, away from the watchful eyes from everyone else. So when (Y/N) saw Jon loading a horse with many bags and a sturdy saddle, exchanging a long hug with the eldest Stark boy, Robb, she started to doubt their future plans.

“Jon? What are you doing?” she asked, though she feared she already knew the answer.

He had hoped that she wouldn’t catch him. Yes, it was cruel to do it this way, but if Jon were to see her sad face just as he was about to now, he knew that he couldn’t leave for the Night’s Watch. Hesitantly he turned around, almost crumbling at the sight of her tear filled eyes.

“My father has told me to leave for the Night’s Watch.”

“W-what?” she was shocked by his answer.“Why would he do that? You haven’t done anything!”

“I’m a bastard, that’s a crime in itself.” he scoffed.

“So? What does that matter? And you didn’t choose to be a bastard!”

“(Y/N), please calm down. Remember you’re still a princess.”

“Were you going to tell me? Because it seems like you’re rushing off.”

Jon looked anywhere but her, not wanting to admit it.“I...I thought it would be better-”

“Better than telling me?!”

“I’m sorry. I just knew that if I saw you, it would make it harder to leave.”

Her breathing got shaky at that, feeling exactly the same. They couldn’t go against Ned’s orders, especially since he was now Hand of the King and travelling to see her father. As heartbreaking as it was, the lovers knew that their chances of being together were slim, but facing reality in the face was harder than they thought it would be.

“Jon, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” she cried.

Jon pulled them aside, hiding them from the public.“Please (Y/N), you know I wouldn’t go if I had a choice.”

“Wait, why don’t we just-just run away together? No one would know, they would think you were at the Wall! Or perhaps you died on the way there!”

“And what would they think if you disappeared?”

“I...I ran away to go home to my family, and....also died.”

“No one would believe it. And they would be after you as soon as you stepped one foot out of Winterfell.”

She dipped her head down, holding on tight as Jon embraced her.“Why do the Gods not want us together? What did we ever do to them?”

He chuckled.“That’s just how our fate was designed.”

“Well I’m going to change it.”

They stayed together for a few minutes longer, their last moments going by too quickly for their liking. Jon pulled away, only to bring (Y/N)’s face close to his as they shared a last kiss, one of the most passionate kisses they had ever felt. (Y/N) couldn’t seem to let go, Jon having to peel off her fingers. She followed him to his horse, resisting the urge to jump on him and never let go, no matter how mad she looked. They looked at one another, taking in their features before Jon spoke again.

“I love you (Y/N) Baratheon.”

“And I love you Jon Snow.”

He clicked his tongue, the horse starting the long journey to the Wall. Jon looked forward, gripping onto the reigns as he tried to stay on track, get out of Winterfell as soon as possible, and try to forget about his love; he knew that would never happen. (Y/N) stayed rooted to her spot, watching as he left Winterfell. She didn’t want to believe it, but she knew that she would never see Jon Snow again.

“(Y/N), come on, let’s get you inside.” Robb suddenly appeared beside her.

She hadn’t realised how much she was crying until he out an arm around her, gently pulling her away from her spot and into Winterfell.

He spoke again once they were inside.“It’ll be alright, it will all be alright.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” (Y/N) asked Robb, worried about their plans for the evening.“Shouldn’t Walder Frey be angry at us?”

“Angry? (Y/N), we were married months before we even arrived here.” Robb smiled at her.

“I know but...he seemed awfully happy for someone who didn’t get the deal they wanted.”

“Perhaps it is because of his age? He is too tired to deal with any conflict.”

“Robb, take this seriously.” she tried to not laugh, though it was impossible when he was smiling at her like that.

After Jon had left all those years ago, Robb and (Y/N)’s relationship grew stronger. They had always been close growing up, especially since they were close in age and their mature, kind personalities matched each others. But what really made them closer was the death of (Y/N)’s father, and Robb’s father soon after. They mourned together and fought back against Joffrey when he demanded that Robb bend the knee, along with an order for (Y/N) to be returned to Kings Landing. If King Robert had ordered it, she would be travelling home in no time, awaiting the overdue reunion with her beloved father; however, seeing as it was her side of the family that never bothered to even send a raven, she refused too, siding with Robb in this sudden war. And along with this, a marriage was arranged, and she may have been a Baratheon, but everyone had seen her as a Stark already for almost all of her life.

“You worry too much about other people’s feelings. Just enjoy this night, it is a wedding after all.” Robb said, watching as his wife brushed her hair.

He couldn’t help but stop to admire her. There was always a soft place in his heart for (Y/N). She was beautiful, intelligent and charismatic, the perfect princess. At first, he had been appalled when he caught her and Jon kissing in the shadows, baffled as to why she would be with a bastard. It angered him, especially since there had been talk between a reunion of the houses.As time went on, he began to understand more about love, and how you didn’t get to chose, it chose for you. He knew that marrying her was simply to help him in the war (to her at least) and that he wouldn’t receive any love back, though having the right to say (Y/N) was his wife was enough for him.

“Where is Greywind?” (Y/N) wondered, looking for the beast.

“They asked for him to be locked away, no animals at the ceremony.”

“Oh, poor thing, outside in the cold.”

“He is a wolf, he is supposed to live in the wild, in the cold.”

“Still, he is a domesticated direwolf.”

“(Y/N), stop these excuses and let us enjoy the night.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but be on edge all night, something didn’t feel right. Perhaps it was the sudden change in atmosphere. She had been in a war zone for months, spending restless nights in a tent and stuck with thousands of angry men during the day; now she was in a castle celebrating a wedding, food and drink galore. Although Robb tried to help her enjoy herself, she still couldn’t, expressing her concern to Catelyn.

“Do you feel ill?” Catelyn asked, seeming very intrigued.

“I’m not sure, I don’t know what to call this feeling.”

“Have you bled this months?”

(Y/N) stuttered as she answered.“Uh, n-not yet.”

Catelyn held her hand, a huge grin on her face.“Perhaps you have fallen pregnant!”

“M-maybe.”

“Don’t be scared child, this is a wonderful thing.”

“Yes, I think I may lie down now, it’s all a bit too much.”

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea. You go ahead, I’ll tell Robb for you.”

(Y/N) felt terrible for lying to her mother-in-law. Robb and (Y/N) had never even consummated the marriage, the only time they kissed was when they got married. No, she definitely wasn’t pregnant, this feeling was do with her gut instinct, though she couldn’t decipher what it was warning her about. As she hurried down the hall to the room, (Y/N) felt like someone was following her, but there was no one around, not that she could see anyway. Just as she turned a corner, she heard the patter of claws on the floor, like a dog was running towards her; not so much a dog but the direwolf Greywind.

“Greywind? What are you doing here?” she bent down to pet him, but the animal wasn’t wanting any of it, running ahead of her before looking back.

She knew that stance. He was on high alert and wanted her to follow him. Picking up her skirts, (Y/N) ran with the direwolf, wondering where all the guards had gone to. They were nearing the slaves quarters when muffled screaming erupted, both from inside the castle and out where Robb’s army was camped. Greywind immediately nudged (Y/N) to the slaves quarters, whining as he did so. (Y/N) walked in the opposite direction, though Greywind was adamant to go the other way. She knew he was doing this for her safety, he had sensed the sudden attack. Going with the direwolf, they continued running, ending up outside, where carnage had erupted; men were slaughtering each other, it was a battlefield.

Her instincts kicked in, ducking behind barrels of wine whilst she analysed how to get out of this mess. Greywind stood his ground, looking out for anyone wanting to attack the queen in the North. (Y/N) screamed as body fell beside her, the sword fallen out of his hand. Grabbing it, she peeked out from her hiding spot, almost fainting there and then as she saw her husbands body parading around on a horse, a dogs head replaced his own, and Walder Frey’s men cheering and making fun of Robb. Tears fell fast down her cheeks, and at that moment, she really didn’t know what to do. They had mutilated her husband as if he wasn’t a person.

Greywind nudged her, and she followed where he was looking. There were horses left in the stable, not so many men were near there, thinking they had won. Greywind stormed ahead, leaping onto the remaining guards,tearing them apart with their teeth; (Y/N) ran as fast as she could after him, slicing down whoever got in her way. It all happened in a flash; one minute she was killing the men who had murdered her husband, the next she was riding a horse far away from the bloodshed, Greywind right beside her.

They had fled far away from the scene, it had been hours since the traumatic event and the sun was rising. (Y/N) slowed the horse, her and the two animals panting harshly. As she dismounted, her feet gave out underneath her. The direwolf was instantly by her side, nuzzling against her as she loudly sobbed, her wails echoing throughout the valley. Angrily throwing the sword, she hugged Greywind close to her, wishing that this was all a terrible nightmare. How had she got out of that so quickly and without a single scratch? Why did she survive but Robb didn’t? The glint of the sword in the sunlight caught her attention again, reminding her of when Robb taught her how to use one; it was essentially him that saved her. But the grieving didn’t last long as the sound of hooves got closer. Clumsily getting to her feet to mount the horse, (Y/N) stopped as she heard her title called out.

“My queen! My queen please wait!”

It was one of their soldiers, blood smothered all over his face and armour. He was doubled over on the horse, and she helped him down. He clutched onto his arm, and was in an immense amount of pain.

“My queen, King Robb and Lady Catelyn...I’m sorry but...they’re dead.”

“Catelyn too?” she whispered.

“Yes, I’m sorry, we couldn’t do anything, we tried-”

“Shh, it’s alright, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but the Frey’s.” she seethed.

“You need to keep on running from here, they will search for you.”

“I...I don’t know where to go!”

“Head to the wall! Jon Snow is still there, I’m sure you could seek refuge there. Here, take these.”

He pulled a fur cloak from the horse and a bag with food along with water, handing them to her. Her heart broke from the kindness and thought he had put into this, he was dying yet he still thought of his queen before him.

“You are a brave man. Thank you for this.” she pulled herself together as she thanked him.

“Queen in the North, I will ride elsewhere to throw them off your track. Go now!”

(Y/N) rode for weeks, relieved that she had Greywind by her side. She was still in the smart dress that was now ruined with mud, blood and wet from snow as she went deeper North. She didn’t know who to trust, and truly thought she would die; whether it be from the cold, hunger, thirst or being killed, though did it matter at this point? Robb and Catelyn were dead, she didn’t know where the Stark sisters were, and she didn’t even know if she would make it to Castle Black. The one thing pushing her was the fact that she might see Jon Snow again. What would he look like? Would he want to see her? Would he be the same man she knew from when they were young?

“My lady,” a male voice called out, Greywind jumping up to defend her,“what are you doing out here? All alone are ya?”

He was a plump man, reminding (Y/N) of her father. He was adorned in black, a sword by his hip. His face seemed kind, and he didn’t give off a threatening vibe but she couldn’t be too sure.

“Wh-who are you?” she shivered, freezing from sleeping outside.

“I’m Sam, I-I’m part of the Night’s Watch.”

“The Night’s Watch?” for the first time in week she smiled, dropping the sword she was clutching onto.“You’re from the Night’s Watch!”

He nervously smiled.“Yes, I just said that.”

She got closer to him. “Tell me, is Jon Snow still there?”

“Yes, he’s Lord Commander actually.”

“I need to see him!”

“Well, women aren’t supposed to come with us-”

“I’m the Queen in the North and I demand you to take me to him!”

(Y/N) didn’t mean to make demands. After all this time travelling to the Wall, all she wanted was to see Jon, to try and figure everything out. Sam was hesitant, but took her anyway. He was extremely kind to her, so kind she could almost cry; he tried to keep a casual conversation, obviously not wanting to dive too deep into why she was wanting to see a bastard at the Wall, especially if she claimed herself as Queen in the North.

(Y/N) walked in first to Castle Black, Sam following with the horse and Greywind. The gates revealed men training with each other, everyone stopping as the woman walked in. She held her head high, not wanting to falter under their glare. She was tired, cold, hungry and mourning, all of this happening mere weeks ago. No word was spoken, the men wondering who this random woman was.

As (Y/N)’s eyes scanned around her, they finally landed on her lover. He stood with the same shocked face, frozen to the spot. Their steps were slow at first, each one becoming faster than the other, missing each other after all these years.

“Jon!” she cried as she leapt into his arms, relieved when he caught her.

The hug was the same as their last one all those years ago. She was crying hysterically, her emotions suddenly showing themselves all at once. Jon was still in shock. He never thought he would see (Y/N) again, yet here she was, looking close to death. Her bright expression was gone, he had got word of what had happened, and he thought she was dead. But here she was, still among the living.

“What are you doing here? They said you were dead!” he exclaimed, pulling away to look at her.

“Th-they killed Robb! They betrayed us! How could they do that?!”

“(Y/N), calm down, you’re safe now.”

“I had no where else to go. You were the only person I could think of.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“And I you. I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.”

The presence of a woman caused a disturbance within Castle Black. The men, deprived of this luxury, were either lusting after (Y/N) or cursing the fact that she was taking their food and beds, and possibly bringing unnecessary danger to them. She was Queen in the North, if word got out that she was alive, enemies would come after her; some believed that this fire would be fueled even more when their Lord Commander would refuse to hand her over. It was obvious to everyone that they were in love, even if they didn’t show it.

If that wasn’t enough, another woman entered the castle, though the men seemed to favour (Y/N) more as the Red Woman waltzed in. She had an air about her that warned you she wasn’t a normal lady. The way she spoke in riddles confused everyone. (Y/N) had tried to stay out of the way of the men, keeping quiet and indoors for the most part, but after feeling cooped up for a while, she finally plucked up the courage to grab a bow and arrow, deciding to put her skills to practice once again. Her archery skills were like nothing anyone had ever seen. She could casually hit her target spot on, it didn’t matter the distance or the circumstances. (Y/N) had spent her time mourning, although she was still grieving, her mind had to remain focus. These were dangerous times, and she had a feeling the fight at the Red Wedding wouldn’t be her last.

“My lady, I have heard of how well you handle a bow and arrow. I am glad that I have witnessed this.” Melisandre spoke, always somehow appearing as if by magic.

‘Perhaps her Lord of Light blessed her with the power to sneak up on people.’ (Y/N) thought to herself, still not sure what to make of the woman.

“Thank you, I’ve been practicing all my life.”

“A very useful skill to have. Though I believe that is not all you have to offer.”

(Y/N) set the weapon down, looking at Melisandre confusedly. She didn’t want any part in any prophecy or vision the Red Woman had. All she truly wanted was to keep her loved ones (those who were still alive) safe and close to her, avoid any war that came her way and keep on living.

“The long, treacherous winter approaching will bring much more terror, grown men will be frightened by just the sight of it. But before that happens, two people as one will conquer death, binding them together for eternity.”

(Y/N) scoffed, forgetting her manners.“I am sorry to inform you that I don’t believe in your Lord of Light, nor the ‘prophecies’ you believe will come true. I live in the real world where I have already experienced death right in front of my eyes, it can’t be stopped, no matter how hard you try.”

“By yourself maybe, but with another, it will be possible.”

(Y/N) had ignored those words, knowing that she was just preaching what she believed in. She had had enough of her riddles, enough of the glares she received from the men; what was she doing here? Was she destined to live here for the rest of her days hiding away? Well, Melisandre seemed to think not. The only thing keeping her going was her lust for revenge and Jon; he would sneak into her room, stealing kisses and holding her as close as he possibly could. This didn’t happen straight away. She was the widow of Robb Stark, Jon’s half-brother, and he wondered whether they had actually fallen in love along the way. But after a couple of weeks, she started to explain everything, how they plotted against Joffrey, how they planned to rescue the Stark girls, and the marriage that became a part of that. Jon learnt that she had kept their promise, the promise of their love for one another, and that’s all he needed.

As (Y/N) settled for the night, she heard a disturbance outside. At first she ignored it, putting it down to the men messing around with each other. But as she stopped and listened, her guts were telling her that something wasn’t right; and the last time she felt this feeling was when Robb was killed. Grabbing her word, she rushed outside on high alert, a deafening scream escaping her as she saw what her instincts were warning her about.

Jon was surrounded by men of the knights watch, all of them taking turns to stab him. Rage filled her body, her legs sprinting towards the traitors; no, she couldn’t face betrayal again. For a couple of men, it was too late for them to even defend themselves as (Y/N) charged towards them like a wild animal. Her sword dug deep into their flesh, blood spraying all over the crisp, white snow. They didn’t stop murdering Jon, only rushing before fighting off the queen. Her mind knew there were too many of them, she was good with her sword but there was no way she could take them all on. That didn’t falter her movements, fiercely slicing down whoever crossed her path. Just as little hope started to creep it’s way into her mind, an immense pain spread through her body, her limbs paralysed as she processed what had happened.

Slowly looking down, she saw a sword doused in her blood pierced through her torso. (Y/N) started to shake, dropping her sword as sharp, panicked breaths filled the silence. She gagged as it was pulled out of her, the taste of blood filling her mouth. (Y/N) couldn’t move a muscle, only yell out in pain as more men stabbed her, no one holding back. Her legs collapsed underneath her, and she cried out for Jon as she tried to crawl her way towards his lifeless body, her nails digging into the ground. Her teary eyes looked into his, there was no life left in them. She stretched her arm out as much as she could, desperately wanting to hold his hand for comfort before she perished. (Y/N) had not often thought about her death, not since she had witnessed it. No one wanted to go like this, she didn’t understand why they killed Jon, why they were killing her. Her fingers barely brushed against his, she could feel her limbs getting heavy before her eyes shut, one last breath from her body before she was submerged in darkness.

Fire, she was surrounded by fire. Was this Hell? Was she damned to suffer here? Why? What had she ever done to be sent down here? But wait, the fire wasn’t raging hot as she thought it would be, it should be seeing how close she was to it. But behind her she suddenly felt cold. Looking over her shoulder, there was ice creeping its way through the pitch black, light snow gracefully falling. (Y/N) was baffled as the two elements met under her feet, the fire still burning and the ice still forming. What did this mean?

A big, loud gasp shocked (Y/N) awake, a small panic attack following after. Her eyes were wide, frightened at the thought of what she saw. Where was she? As she looked around her, her throat dry and skin cold, her senses came back to her. She was lying naked on a wooden board, though where she was exactly was still unknown. Slowly sitting up, (Y/N) wondered whether she was alive or dead. She felt alive, glancing down at her body, her fingers hesitantly tracing over deep, dark scars that covered her torso. As she kept questioning what happened to her, she realised she was not alone.

“Jon!” She cried out, surprised when she felt how agile her body was.

(Y/N) slipped off the board, slowly stepping towards his body. Her shaky hands grabbed his, kissing them tenderly as she looked over his similar scars. He felt real too. Were the Gods kind to them and had reunited them in the Heavens? Her cries were quiet, shoulders shaking as she begged for him to wake up too. Calling his name did nothing, shaking his body did nothing; leaning over him, she rested her forehead on his, tears spilling onto his face.

“My lady, you’re awake!” Melisandre rushed into the room, standing beside the queen in bewilderment.

The priestess’ attention was drawn to (Y/N)’s tears covering Jon’s face. Backing away, Melisandre circled the table, watching the heartbreaking scene. The Lord of Light had brought one back, why not the other? Were her prophecies wrong? Were they not supposed to conquer together? But as she looked closer, she could see with each tear drop, his skin became less pale, his usual complexion returning. Could she e the secret to all this?

“(Y/N)?” a voice whispered out.

(Y/N) flinched away from Jon, a sob coming out of her as she saw his eyes open, looking up at her. They stared at each other for a while, ignoring the fact that they were still naked and had never seen each other like this.

“A-are we....dead?” She asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“I don’t know.”

Greywind and Ghost were instantly on their feet, each on high alert as they watched their owners come back to life. At first they growled at the door when someone burst through, relaxing when they saw Ser Davos. The man couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He had picked up their bodies, laid them down as the Red Woman had instructed, and now they were alive. Melisandre watched intensely, grabbing blankets for both of them.

“You are alive, the Lord of Light brought you back.” she proclaimed.

They welcomed the warmth the blankets gave them, staying close to one another.

“But it seemed that he needed (Y/N)’s help to bring you back, Lord Snow.”

“You brought me back?” he asked, just as confused as his lover.

“No, I just woke up and-”

Ser Davos intervened.“Leave them woman. They’re almost freezing to...never mind.”

They slowly and silently got changed, still feeling...whatever they were feeling. They seemed to be thinking exactly the same, embracing each other as soon as they were dressed. Neither could believe what was happening. They had been risen from the dead, resurrected from their murder. (Y/N) could still feel the fear coursing through her veins, images of those men stabbing her made her panic. She knew that Jon would do something about it, just after they figured out what the hell had happened to them.

“What did you see?” (Y/N) asked Jon, wondering if he saw the same as her.

“Nothing. I saw nothing, it was just black.” he answered, sounding almost angry about it.“Did you see the same?”

She hesitated.“I saw...I was standing there, in darkness just like you. But then there was fire, then there was ice, and they were clashing against one another. I don’t know what it means, perhaps it was nothing.”

“No.”

“No?”

“That meant something, we have been brought back to life, that thing you saw wasn’t some odd dream.”

“Jon, what does this mean for us? Why were we brought back?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it. Although I’m happy you’re back....this just isn’t natural.”

“I know, I know. But, what are we going to do now?”

“Whatever it is life throws at us next.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/N) sighed as she watched Jon walking through Winterfell’s defences with his new queen, hating that she felt jealous of that woman. She was a unique beauty, nothing like she had seen before. And what with her amazing new dragons, she seemed to have everything going for her. (Y/N) looked back on all that she had been through with Jon, all the heartbreak, danger, bloodshed and the small time they had to actually spend together, knowing that it only made them stronger; though her mind still wavered through moments of doubt.

“She is gorgeous, isn’t she?” (Y/N) stated as her and Jon walked the halls of the castle that night.

“Who?”

She smiled at him.“Daenerys! You two seem to have-”

“Grown close? You know she means nothing to me, not like that anyway.”

With their arms looped, (Y/N) rested her head on his shoulder, happy with the answer.“Sorry, I did not mean to jump to conclusions.”

“I understand. Have I upset you?”

“No, I think the pressure of this oncoming war is playing too much on my mind.”

They reached her chambers, both stopping in front of the door. Although they considered themselves very much in love, they had never shared a bed, worried as to how it would look in front of their peers. But (Y/N) was through with keeping up appearances, following rules; many rules had been bent or broken throughout her lifetime, she was just following suit.

“Stay with me tonight.” she offered confidently.

“What?”

“I’m not wasting anymore time. The army of the dead is coming for us and I have yet to sleep beside you.”

Jon’s gaze was intense, and he surprised (Y/N) when he opened her door, gently pushing her inside. She really hadn’t meant anything sexual by what she said, but wasn’t opposed to where this was going. Jon was in the same mindset, wanting to express his love for her in a different way. She was his woman, and he her man, it had always been that way. No one dared to take either of them away from each other.

“Jon,” (Y/N) panted out as she curled up next to him in bed,“I love you.”

He was quick to reply.“I love you. (Y/N),” he sat up, resting his weight on his elbow so that he was looking over her,“I don’t want to risk losing you again.”

She tried not to show confusion on her face.“You won’t, why are you saying that?”

“The dead are coming, we’ve fought them before, we’ve seen how they work. What if-”

“No, no don’t say ‘what if’. We just have to take everyday as it comes. We’ve died once, and it showed me how important everything in your life is, including you.”

“I can’t help it.” he softly smiled.“Everything is moving far too fast.”

“And it won’t slow down either. We just need to catch up.”

Another week of planning for the battle against the dead sped by. Jon was right, it really felt like they had no time to prepare themselves. Tension was also rising within the walls, the dragon queen wasn’t loved by all, and she knew this; (Y/N) wanted to trust Jon’s judgement, though it was hard when an outsider with the Mad King as a father suddenly wanted you to bend the knee. Alongside this, (Y/N) had been having spurs of sickness (a majority of the time in the morning), she was late; it wasn’t hard to figure out what was happening to her. She said nothing though, scared that it would distract Jon when all of his attention needed to be on this battle.

(Y/N) was startled as she walked outside of the castle walls, still not used to the dragons that casually loitered around. She tried not to show it, but panic rose as she realised that their mother was not there. Daenerys had mentioned that they ate anything, especially as they were starving. Greywind (who had not left her side ever since she fell pregnant, she thought he knew even before her) growled at the beasts, hair riled up as he stood in front of her.

“There’s no need to worry.” Daenerys called out from behind her.

“I’m sorry your grace, just...not used to such creatures. Neither is he.” (Y/N) tried to calm the direwolf but he wouldn’t budge.

“They are unsure of yours as well.”

“Greywind is just very protective. We’ve been through a lot together.”

“Lord Snow has one like this, does he not?”

“Yes, they were gifted to all the Stark children many years ago. Greywind became mine when....when Robb was murdered.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“We’ve all lost something throughout these years haven’t we?”

“How right you are.”

“Am I interrupting?” Jon asked as he approached.

“Going off flying again are we?” (Y/N) smiled at him, resisting kissing him. They were still wary of showing their affection in front of others.

“Who else can say that they’ve flown a dragon?”

“The dragon queen perhaps?”

They were going to continue talking when one of the dragons walked towards them. (Y/N) and Jon were wary, Daenerys not moving an inch. However, as the mother of dragons went to pet him, she was almost pushed aside when he walked straight past her. Greywind growled and barked as the dragon stopped in front of him, though the massive creature did not retaliate.

“Greywind, that’s enough!” Jon commanded, sensing what was going on. Drogon had the same look as he did now when Jon first met them, and he wanted to see if the same thing was happening here.

Greywind reluctantly stood down, backing away a little, but not too far. (Y/N) suddenly missed the defence of the wolf, even if he was tiny compared to the dragon. Drogon lowered his head, an eye just in front of her face. Her heart was beating erratically, her mind screaming why no one was stopping this. It seemed like a lifetime she was stood there, only realising that Jon was gesturing for her to touch the dragon. Her eyes widened at his madness, but remembered him telling her of the time he did the same thing.

As she boldly stretched out her hand to rest of Drogon’s head, Daenerys could feel the rage in her. Why were her dragons suddenly taking a liking to these people? They were her children, not theirs! When Jon had been accepted by them, she had secretly been happy; she had been intrigued by this man, though was very annoyed when she was informed of a lover, even if they weren’t official. Daenerys had ignored that, still surprised that her dragons would let another ride on them, but this was too much. She had never even heard of this woman, what value did she have?

Drogon closed his eyes as (Y/N) gently pet him, the texture of his scales a new, strange feeling underneath her fingertips. Although quiet, Jon could hear the small laugh, the unbelievable gasp that left her lips. He beamed at the sight, amazed by the sight before him. (Y/N)’s moment was ruined by Daenerys’ glare, and not wanting to piss off someone who could control these things, she slowly removed her hand.

“Can you believe that? Why would Drogon let her do that?” Jon asked in bewilderment.

“I don’t know. Perhaps the cold is effecting them.” Daenerys seethed, climbing onto the dragon.

“Perhaps they would let her ride them too? If would enhance our chances of-”

(Y/N) could sense the queens fury, her eyes like daggers. But what was also on her mind was the baby, Jon’s baby.“No, no Jon. I couldn’t possibly. Besides, I think Greywind would go mad if I did.”

“Are you really refusing to-”

“Jon, I can’t. Please, just trust me on this.”

Jon stood in front of her, blocking her view of Daenerys.“(Y/N), what aren’t you telling me? Are you alright?”

“Yes I’m fine. I just don’t fancy flying one of them.”

“You wouldn’t stop going on about how jealous you were of me. Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Alright, I will, tonight. Just go about the day as you would, don’t stress over me, OK?”

He stared at her for a few seconds longer, definitely not OK after those words. But knowing that he would get nothing out of her, he went to Rhaegal and mounted him before flying off with the mother of dragons. (Y/N) called the direwolf to her, petting him as a thank you for his protection. What he couldn’t protect her from was telling the truth to Jon and his reaction. Why couldn’t she have made up a better excuse?

(Y/N) had expected to see Jon late at night, assuming he was busy with planning. So when he burst into the great hall as she settled down for supper, she almost threw her plate at him in shock.

“Jon, you scared me.” she breathed out, clutching her heart.

He rounded the table and sat beside her, grabbing her hand.“What is it? What’s wrong with you?”

“Didn’t I tell you not to worry about me?”

“Yes, but did you really think I would do that.”

She smiled.“No I suppose not.”

“So?”

“So...”

Where was she to start?

“You’ve noticed how Greywind has been more protective of me haven’t you? More than usual?”

He nodded.

“Well, I now know why. For the past week or so I have been sick most mornings, becoming tired much too quickly and-”

“You’re pregnant?”

All she could do was nod, not sure how to take his reaction. He was definitely shocked, but whether it was good or bad was up for deliberation.

“I can’t believe it.” he whispered out as he smiled, relieving (Y/N). He leaned across and hugged her.“This is amazing news.”

“Oh thank the gods.” she sighed.“That’s why I wouldn’t get on the dragon, just...well, just being paranoid.”

“No, you were right. If you got on that dragon and I found out about this later, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.” he pulled away, kneeling on the floor before her.“(Y/N), I want to make an honest woman out of you.”

“Excuse you? Am I not honest an woman?” she teased.

“You know what I mean. Marry me, be my wife.”

“Of course I will Jon, you already knew my answer.”

Jon relished in the happiness he felt with her, he was grateful that she was back in his life. Yes, there was the dead coming for them, but he had faith; the amount of allies they had gathered was supplying hope for him. But he was living for that moment. They had kept their promises as children, they were wanting to get married, she was having his child. As they sat with each other, talking about the endless possibilities as to what their child would be like, he debated on telling her everything that Sam had told him, who he truly was. Maybe it explained Drogon’s actions, there was technically a Targaryen growing in her. For now he would not complicate things, he didn’t know what this battle would bring or what the outcome would be. He was living in the moment, and this moment was what he had been dreaming about his whole life.

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