#and that's not a bad thing! i love transgender people. i love the people. i go there sometimes to visit! i just don't live there.
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What is a man (a non-comprehensive list):
Frolicking in a field at dusk
Peeling paint on an old house
The smell "Clean Cotton" as a Yankee Candle® candle
Sunflowers facing each other
Embers left over after a bonfire
A threat to the security of Nebraska
Your lungs filled with winter air
Accelerating your car before a turn
Old 50s music about a man's love for his woman played on a turntable
Cracked mirrors
A miserable pile of secrets
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#trans meme#was inspired by a similar one about women. solidarity!!! 🫡#i support the troops (women)#being a man means nothing to me if i cannot be pathetic and a Thing <3#i forgot being a man is also when you're watching breaking bad and yelling at walt to TAKE THE GREY MATTER MONEY#JUST LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR AND ACCEPT THE KINDNESS OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU
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idk about anyone else, but i really do want to get to the point in representation and fiction where we can actually have a trans villain.
and they’d be allowed to be the villain; they wouldn’t seen as problematic / bad rep by the community and allies, and not used as an example of how trans people are evil and horrible by transphobes (and of course not written in either of those ways either)
they do a catastrophic time travel spell to rewrite their own history, they summon an eldritch god and sacrifice people to it so that it will give them their perfect body - do you get what i mean?? a trans character that would be complex and tragic and layered but, ultimately, the villain.
idk man, i feel like i’m gonna write this one day. trans people obviously are not evil, but wanting to be pretty or stay young or change previous is often a villain’s motivations - why not use that specific and painful trans angst??
#also no i don’t mean something stupid like a trans woman wanting to kill all men because of her dysphoria#i mean like that recent episode of the magnus protocol#the woman doing horrible violent things to herself just to get her perfect face and body#i just need it to bad!!!!!!#like trans people are so complicated and the trans experience can at times be so incredibly hard#i just love it i LOVE it i need this character to exist so badly#text post#rambling#meta#trans#transgender#transsexual#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtq+#lgbtqia
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tbh I really love the outcome of Sora’s parents in DR part 2. For a while it seemed like the characters were going the direction of “maybe when all this is over we can talk to them and they’ll come around :)”, which I don’t think is a bad message in of itself, but is definitely overdone and way less important compared to the message they ended up going with instead: showing that sometimes your family members are too stuck in the mud to try to love you for who you are, and it’s okay to feel disappointment about this but it’s also okay to find joy and belonging with friends who support you instead of struggling for the approval of people who refuse to try to understand you
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#I don’t think ‘we have to love them because we’re FAMILY even if they’re assholes 😌’ is like… a bad or problematic message for kids#but it definitely gets tiring#and I think kids need representation for the fact that sometimes things don’t work out. sometimes your parents do suck#it’s sad and you have every right to feel disappointed but remember that you will find people who support you#sora is so extremely transgender coded
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once again rubbed the wrong way by friends who unintentionally reveal that they dont really engage with my masculinity in any real way and see me as nonbinary (female-lite)
#leologisms#...................i need more trans friends. in real life#its so frustrating. your gay friends knowing youre transgender but still being able to tell that yeah. they really do just see you as#female-lite. and pushing back by overcorrecting the other way. but im NOT a trans man! and im not a woman either! and the label#nonbinary doesnt fit me even if other people might understand my identity best as under that label. im just transgender. none of#your business. but hearing people say 'well thats why you dont date men' and 'ugh i hate men' etc while i KNOW what they mean#the fact that theyre ok just saying that around me. TO me. a bisexual transgender. feels so bad.#not only am i not masculine in their eyes theyre also telling me that to them masculinity is inherently. dirty. dangerous. but thank god IM#not like that right? hahaha!!!!! thank god i would never be attracted to masculinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#.........god. anyway. the thing that prompted this happened a few days ago now and it was just a throwaway comment#but my awful brain loves latching onto those. so whatever.
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ugh the transphobia in one piece is such a fucking frustrating ruinous thing
#one piece#first of all i'm trans so i have an unholy amount of trans rage#but second of all it's fucking unbelievable how stupid oda is#i'm mad but also i think a Lot about trans narratives. i see them everywhere because i'm. y'know. trans but also TRANS NARRATIVES#okay i would rewrite one piece and the rewrite exclusively focuses on making sanji trans in a good way.#yeah i'm talking abt transfem sanji now#look if transfem sanji was a thing in the show it would not be a good thing. a lot of harmful stereotypes.#but i think there's such a golden opportunity that has been wasted by transphobia#because look#a character who in early childhood was only treated well by women and poorly by men#growing up surrounded by men#starts building up a fancy masculine facade with wearing suits all the time#and it's a fucking devastating blow to their whole ideals of character but they're stronger for it#once they build themself up brand new. trans trans transgender trans#look ok i know this isn't the place to get it and i know that the transphobia in the world would probably make this shit#but i want a story where. a longtime character slowly realizes they are trans. it's like with marco from star vs again i wanted it so bad#i just feel like every time i see a trans character it's post coming-out. which i also love. but the realization of true self#and the slow process of REMAKING YOURSELF. IN YOUR OWN IMAGE. I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE#transness is akin to godliness#i kinda lost the plot in these tags but that's ok#being trans is so important and trans narratives are so important. and I love one piece! i really do! that's why it bothers me so much when#this series does stuff like this#if it was a media i didn't care abt i would just drop it and move on and i definitely think that's a smart decision for when you don't#wanna let something get to you but i've been invested for years so i guess i'll stay#STILL GONNA BE FRUSTRATED THOUGH#anyway. trans one piece fans out there...!! stay strong!! you're the best ones among us!!#on my way to my notesapp to do some writing. lmao bye#also sorry for all the one piece posting i unfortunately fell down here again please help me
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I have such mixed thoughts about being trans, like I’m so thankful for the people I’ve met and the things I’ve learned and who I’ve become because of finding out I was trans, but my life would of been a lot fucking easier if I wasn’t. Like simple things like going out in public, using bathrooms, seeing family, etc inspire fear in me. I don’t have the privilege to live life (I mean who really does here in America) but it’s like I never really got the chance to even try and that really hurts. Especially now in America when trans people are, for lack of a better word, a victim of genocide. I’m scared to go outside, let alone go to school, which most everyone already hates, but everything I do gets picked apart, and what I wear and how I act dictates if people will respect my very person. It’s terrifying yk? I have had threats to my life multiple times, you have to understand what that does to a person…
It gets even worse when you go into the directly political sphere, my very existence in the world is simply a question of tolerance to most people. I’m not doubting that being trans isn’t directly political, because everything we experience in our daily lives is as a result of politics, but I find it quite disconcerting that it’s so simple to reduce personhood to label words. We really need to learn, as a society, that people are greater than the sum of their parts. We are all people, we all experience struggle, and we are all united in our feeling of discontent. We are all oppressed but there is a special oppression within this world that comes from putting us against each other, it’s obvious where bigotry comes from, and yet people still fall for the same old “worries” they have for decades. Oppression comes from a lack of understanding and a willingness to blame other people for systemic issues. We have the power and ability to move past this but it’s impossible in a world that has to breed hostility for profit. Our conditions are unacceptable and instead of pointing our anger at the system, a lot of people end up blaming other groups.
I wrote a short essay about a year ago when I was hearing a lot about anti-trans legislation and I think it’s still significant now,
“People constantly preach acceptance and equality, but once things get hard it’s a different story. People will go from posting in support of us, to calling us pedophiles or believing we aren’t real in a matter of months. The same people who say they believe in free speech and talk of themselves as original free thinkers are the same ones silencing us, taking away our rights, and killing us. If that’s ‘freedom’ I don’t want it.
Trans people are the boogeyman of the day. You are allowed to say ‘the quiet part allowed’, in public. We are the group to attack. Any ‘free thinker’ would quickly find that we are NOT what conservatives fear-monger people with. Any ‘free thinker’ would not blindly follow the status quo. Any person ‘pro-freedom’ wouldn’t want or allow our rights to be stripped away. Any person ‘pro-freedom’ wouldn’t want us dead.
I hope people know (and I know for sure they do, it’s their goal) that with every anti-trans bill/law people will die. Wether it’s from back-alley surgeries and hormones, or suicide, people—including the ‘children’ these republican assholes say they are protecting—will die. Our lives will end without satisfaction, without a chance to be ourselves. Our lives will end and it will be the legislators fault, it will be the parents who witheld their child's freedom, it will be the news stations' fault, it will be all the religious pundits who advocate for our death's fault. They will be to blame. They are nothing less than murderers.
This is far from over. We are not the first, nor the last group to face this. As a society we are regressing (you'll never guess why /s). It's pretty obvious what's next but, to distract us from what's at play, there are manufactured culture wars to keep us occupied, so they can further their death toll. They say they want us gone, and they will follow through if they are allowed. They have the power and human life has never detered them before. I encourage you to critically think about what you choose to believe, and don't give in to the Fox News bastards' propagandistic knowledge."
I remember the fear and anger I felt when writing this. The state I’m in is definitely not the worst of the anti-trans legislation but it’s definitely not the best, and it’s not helpful that I don’t live in the most progressive of towns. This shit’s happening everywhere though and that’s probably the worst part. We are retrogressing rapidly and it’s not like it’s a new phenomena, this has been happening for many years.
Passing is a whole other issue. I don’t really feel a desire to be stealth in most circumstances because I feel like me being trans is a big part of my politics and politics is a massive part of who I am. I have a desire to be comfortable in my body but I don’t have a desire to fit into their arbitrary standards.
Ultimately, there’s no winning. Our ‘gender’ is imposed on us from birth and defying that standard isn’t acceptable to a lot of people. I mean at least the politicians have a reason to hate us, i mean it’s in their class interest, not to mention, it gives them something to be mad about.
#transmasc#transgender#ftm#I don’t really have another big important thing to write tbh like I usually try to do#this was mostly a rant piece bc I’m just really frustrated with things rn#I guess something else about being trans that I’m really passionate about is talking to other trans people#I really wish a lot of my trans friends would be more willing to talk about trans-ness with me#like especially the trans women I know I wish they would talk to me more about being trans because I don’t personally have that perspective#so I want to learn :D#I guess I just really love talking to other trans people because our different perspectives on being trans is so interesting and our#differences in experience is so mesmerizing#anyways if you actually read this really ramble-y bad put together essay then ilysm ty 😭😭#long story short ig being trans is very interesting
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Hey dad
I'm a transgender (ftm) boy with unsupportive bio parents and tomorrow's my birthday, but bc of where I live and the school system, I'll be dead named over the speakers of the entire school wishing me a 'happy birthday' even though they're celebrating the birth of a baby girl who I don't have any attachments to anymore and nobody seems to want to celebrate their baby boy
My dear birthday boy,
I don't know which time zone you live in but you sent this some hours ago, so I assume "tommorow" is "today" now, so - Happy birthday! Cheers to another trip around the sun, may it be an amazing one! May this year bring more joy than you could ever imagine.
We don't know each other personally, of course, but I can say honestly that I'm so glad you were born, so this day is definitely a reason for me to celebrate as well. Thankyou for being here with us today!
Birthdays can be hard when you're getting misgendered and I can only imagine how painful it must be over the speakers. As I'm a bit late in answering, I assume this already happened, so all that I can say now is just: I'm sorry that happened and I can imagine all the painful feelings it brought up. Hopefully you can leave it behind you quickly and find positive things to look forward. If you can't think of anything, then i'm sure some of my followers will want to wish you a happy birthday as well, so maybe looking through the comments on this post will be something positive and uplifting for you!
You deserve to be celebrated just the way you are. And if it's of any comfort, my life experience (and that of my fellow trans friends) tells me you will be. You got a year older - and as a general rule of thumb getting older also means getting closer to freedom. Time goes on, and it brings new people in your life, and some of them will be lovely and supportive and see the real you.
But that's just a little reminder of the future. You live in the present, and right now and here you are allowed to feel hurt. All feelings are valid, even on a birthday.
For now, my anonymous birthday boy, I'll make a bad dad joke and tell you "Happy birthday, my son-shine!". But seriously, congratulations on growing into the man you are. I'm proud of you and I stand with you.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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Something I just realised that made me really really sad.
I think I’d make a brilliant children’s TV presenter. I’m enthusiastic and energetic and I’m good at getting on the same level of kids and encouraging them to try new things and have new experiences. I do it all day and everyday at work and I get great reviews from the parents. I’m good at thinking on my feet and I can make them laugh and get them to be brave.
I love teaching, I love showing kids things that people consider too difficult to talk about like classic novels and history and mythology and my general knowledge is excellent - I know enough about things they’re interested in to engage them.
Can’t you see me doing a version of Blue Peter or Horrible Histories or Mystery Hunters? Id be fantastic and I think - crucially - I’d enjoy it too.
But I’m a trans man. I’m transgender. Therefore, I’m considered a “danger” to kids by bigots. I’m an evil corrupting force of confusion and bad intentions.
Never mind the fact I have a PVG, numerous background checks, and training in how to care fit and protect children, never mind I’ve been a mandated reporter since I was seventeen, never-mind I’ve spent the majority of my adult working life entertaining children… to certain powerful people, that is nothing but suspicious and grounds for physical violence directed towards me.
It’s entirely possible this has been triggered by an application I just made to the BBC as a possible children’s presenter in an open call and I’ve just realised how impossible it is they’d allow me to do this because of what I am.
And that’s just incredibly upsetting.
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actually, I DID have gender dysphoria as a teenage girl without being exposed to anything about it on the internet, on top of "racial dysphoria" and body dysmorphia
there were points I DID want to kill myself because i wasn't, or bleach my skin or change my body, i would have done anything to be a white boy at one point
which is both sad and funny to me because i remember two of my then good friends explain being enby and transgender to me and me being like "that doesn't make any sense" and it's because of trans-discourse we eventually broke up. the closest i ever got to accepting trans-ideology was transmedicalism with weak support for "queer" culture. i did not understand pronouns, but i understood dysphoria. but i did not understand how one could be a man or woman without the sex characteristics.
how did i heal?
one, i left church. that was one of the places i was most scrutinized for my physical body. two, i distanced from my parents, especially my mom. who often made my ocd and body-image worse (not because she was mean, but because she was always fretting about "decency"). three, i focused on bettering my personal space. writing, reading, watching my comfort shows, getting the focus off me. four, i started eating better, and my body became less burdensome. i stopped getting horrible period pain. five, i surrounded myself with self-confident women and stopped trying to resurrect toxic friendships with girls and boys (especially boys). started eliminating each toxic friend and focusing my efforts on healthier relationships. six, i'd started educating myself on my own history, watching and listening to more black and African people. even when i didn't enjoy what they made or resonate with it, i found i appreciated the experience and could allow myself to hate or love whatever i found.
by the time i discovered radical feminism, this was like, the final step for me: consuming women-centric literature and media. this was HUGE. i'd see paintings and photography of women in all shapes, colors and sizes. i'd listen to master musicians, read women philosophers, anthropologists, etc. this started mending a lot of what caused initial disquiet when it came to my dysphoria or dysmorphia.
basically, i took myself out of bad environments (especially those which force you to scrutinize every detail about yourself, like social media, i took long breaks from that), drew boundaries with people i couldn't get rid of, learned about myself (ocd, dyscalculia, anxiety, female biology) so that i developed understanding and could empathize, stopped centering men and white people.
now, while there's still a hint or trace of dysmorphia and dysphoria, it doesn't plague my life. it's like the occasional itch. more of a mild temptation to go down a dark hole than an actual threat. and i've learned how to handle those.
i learned the root of things. not just my history, but the root of how society worked and how it affected me. and i'm still learning, and my life is still improving.
so yeah, girls and women going through this is normal and common. anyone who is used to who they are being shameful is more at risk (like gnc lgb kids), but you can recover. usually better if you get out of the places that are making you sick.
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I think it makes sense to say that angels as ethereal beings in heaven are sexless but if one or two spend 6000 years on earth BEING male-sexed human bodies it no longer makes sense. As people keep recognising, eating food, drinking and driving fast among other things are all deeply embodied experiences and these have fundamentally changed them as people. The whole Jesus story is the same deal, being embodied human is transformative. We live in a time when the concept of embodiment is deeply unfashionable and Cartesian dualism is entrenched, where endless body mods and casual drugs and careless manipulation of core human physiology is enacted with barely an afterthought for deep-reaching and irreversible consequences, but it's a deeply sick framework for seeing the world
(In response to this meta about ineffables and romance/asexuality)
First of all, they don’t have “male-sexed human bodies.” They are literally "sexless unless they really want to make an effort” (Good Omens, 1990).
Like all of Neil Gaiman’s angels and demons (see The Sandman), Aziraphale and Crowley have no set genitalia, don’t (by default) engage in sexual activity, and they don’t always present or dress as male through history (although they often do).
critical-gemini-hero (excerpt): "Good Omens is the first big show I’ve seen to basically avoid transphobia all together when the opportunity presented itself, and even say fuck you to the gender binary as a bonus."
Neil Gaiman (excerpt): "Thank you! That was definitely what we were going for."
(source)
So no, they quite literally do not have “male-sexed human bodies” and they do not ascribe to human gender norms.
In addition, what you are suggesting is that “being in a male human body” equates to “feeling male” and “feeling sexual” because “the body dictates internal experience.”
There are literally millions of people, actual human beings living in physical bodies, who (despite living in culture) still DO NOT feel that the gender assigned to their bodies is reflective of their lived, internal experience. Merely having physical attributes does not mean you have a corresponding internal experience. You can be forced by your parents, teachers, elders, peers and everyone else to FEEL a certain way because of your “sexed human body” but it won’t make it true inside you.
If one's internal experience were so unimportant, then we wouldn't have 82% of transgender individuals consider suicide (source) because of the stigma of trying to get out of the norms assigned to them because of their "sexed human bodies."
Aziraphale and Crowley have lived in history long enough to know how varied and complicated the concepts of gender AND sex have been historically. As spiritual beings, I think seeing how much humanity has varied in its ideas on sex and gender only confirms to them how unlike humans they are (with humanity’s obsession with genitalia, sex, reproduction… food, shelter, warmth, breathing––all things that angels and demons do not need to survive).
They love humanity, they love its pleasures and inventions, but they are still very much detached from it. Looking like humans definitely doesn't help them feel like humans at all. (Look at how they talk about us!)
What are we, sniffer dogs??? They don't know what we feel like on the inside or how our biology works (we sure ain't sniffer dogs) because despite some surface appearances, they don't have the same internal experiences as us. Despite being here since the dawn of time. Despite looking like us in many ways.
They can magic up clothing and sideburns and eldritch heads to scare trigger-happy corporate men, and yet somehow gender and sex (as specifically Western-binary concepts) are something they'd totally get down with?
Also, your line of reasoning imagines people having no internal motivation or desire and suddenly get a tattoo and start to become a “bad person” or something. Yes, of course changing our bodies can affect our psychology, but our internal identity much more often influences our bodily choices than the other way around. I'm taking the drugs because I'm already depressed. I'm getting the tat because I want something cool on my body. I'm taking testosterone because I want my inner identity reflected in some ways on my physical body.
#this got long#good omens#good omens 2#THEY ARE NOT MALE HUMANS#genderfluid#queer#transgender#trans#lgbt#lgbtqia#asexual#nonbinary#neil gaiman#tagging the tags cuz I think this is important#go meta#good omens meta#ask#anon
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Something beautiful about the word transsexual is that contrary to popular (often by transmeds) belief, it has always included people who don't medically transition in anyway. It simply is an older word for what a lot of people would now call transgender and there are so many transsexual elders who never went on hormones and never had surgery but have identified as transsexual for decades and still do. I know transmeds have been around back in the day too, claiming that transsexual is only for medical transitioners, but many elders will disagree. Even if you look at some trans glossaries from 15 years ago they will define transsexual the same way that we define transgender. Transsexual and transgender are largely synonymous with different connotations to different people. The beauty is that we as trans people get to choose whether we want to reclaim a term that was put on us by cis people, or if we want to claim a term that was created by us for us, and both are beautiful and radical in their own way.
The thing about the history of transness is... we have documentation of trans people having existed for at least a thousand years. Trans history is ancient. We are a fact of humanity, not an option.
The interesting thing about transsexual is that it's a new word - coined in German as Transsexualismus by Magnus Hirschfeld in the 1920s, introduced later as transsexual. Around this time, more people were interested in what would be known as transsexualism. It's around this time and after the war that more and more medical transition options became wide-spread and practiced. Medical transition is by no means as experimental as people fear monger it to be, but in terms of trans history, we're living in a vastly different era than our trans ancestors.
The understanding of transsexual depends on who you ask, but it's my opinion that we ought to include as many transsexuals as possible. The idea that transsexuals are the Good Trans People, the ones who Put In The Work is an idea that's based on transphobia, not the language that's used. The attitude is the problem, the idea that we are inherently broken or must prove ourselves worthy is separate from the words that we identify with or are used to describe us.
It's for this reason that transsexualism is important to me. It's for this reason that I want as many people to be transsexuals as possible, whether or not you medically transition. I personally started preferring transsexual because I see it as political, as personal, as a community of beautiful people I want to help make good. If you don't identify as transsexual, that is great! But, please, know that transsexuals are also not stereotypes. We're not the Good Ones. We are part of the broader trans community, and thus, we should all work together.
#ask#anon#transsexual FAQs#i don't dismiss the fact that transsexual as a term has been used exclusionary...#...to make trans people into The Good Ones and The Bad Ones...#...but that stems from transphobia. the people who say i'm One Of The Good Ones don't see me as an equal or perhaps even a person...#...but i would be a token - a THING they use to justify /their/ transphobia...#...in cases like that they would use any word because it was never about the terms...#...so i don't dismiss that people are transphobic about it but i also don't want people to see transsexual as a dirty word#there are still transsexuals. there are still transvestites (trans and non-trans even!). there are still gender freaks.#it's gotten to the point that i prefer being transsexual and i also like the transgender community. it just doesn't encapsulate who i am#and that's not a bad thing! i love transgender people. i love the people. i go there sometimes to visit! i just don't live there.#i moved to the next town over and it's going great! but sometimes i'll go to transgender to chat up friends and get doughnuts and ice cream.
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If you don't mind, I saw your post about smoking while on hormones recently and I have a couple questions.
Obviously quiting smoking is better for you in general. But are the adverse effects while on hormones the same for testosterone and estrogen?
Secondly, is this mostly about the nicotine in cigarettes (generally what people mean when they say smoking) or is it about smoking anything at all (weed, vapes, nicotine vapes, etc)?
Thanks!
Good questions and unfortunately I have to say that we don’t have enough solid data for great answers on either.
Testosterone raises risk of heart attack or stroke, in part because it causes an increase in red blood cell production. You might be familiar with blood thinners that can be used to prevent heart attack or stroke; blood thickeners do the opposite. However, this data is nowhere near adequate in the transgender population. I cannot tell you much at all about how dose, method of delivery, duration of treatment, or T levels during treatment affect this long-term risk, especially over decades. The best response to this uncertainty is for trans men and transmasc people on T to protect their cardiac health from all other risks as much as possible.
Which then leads to the question of type of smoke. I would love to be able to offer you conclusive answers on that, but the Feds made it virtually impossible to study marijuana until a couple of years ago, so I can’t tell you whether marijuana is as dangerous as tobacco or not, or whether mode of intake matters. I can tell you that tobacco is bad but that people consistently underestimate the risks of nicotine by itself. Nicotine is the insecticide component of tobacco. It will cause your small blood vessels to contract, decreasing blood flow to critical areas of the body and heart. Nicotine impedes healing—smokers are notoriously bad at healing after surgery to the point where I know multiple surgeons who will literally do a blood test for nicotine metabolites before doing higher risk surgeries. They don’t trust patients to tell them whether they smoked, and they have reason to distrust. You want top or bottom surgery? Quit smoking. Now.
I had an attending once describing to me watching what happened to a woman who had fingers reattached. He warned her that if she ever smoked again, she would lose the fingers. She didn’t believe him and thought just smoking a little would be fine. The fingers necrosed—died—immediately, because those small blood vessels are critical to healing a process like a reattachment or transplant. So then she had open wounds with gangrenous fingers attached to them. Great.
We don’t have long-term health outcomes data on vapes yet but for my money they’re going to turn out to be really bad for you as well. Nicotine is a poison. Your lungs don’t love poison delivery by any mechanism. The combustion products of tobacco are also REALLY FUCKING BAD for creating cancerous mutations in your cells, but don’t inhale poison if you want to live a rewarding life where you get to enjoy doing things you want to do, like fucking. (Erections also depend on blood flow and healthy blood vessels. Treat yours with kindness.)
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Yeah people acting like trans people are just automatically seen as our gender pre everything is very... dismissive of transphobia. There was that one article a while back of a southern black trans man who was a real estate agent who after a long time of being stealth was outed and went from being loved to hated at work if I recall treatment so bad he had to quit plus loss of clientele. I've also heard more casual transphobia after passing/going stealth, since people think they can be bigoted around me. If they think doesn't weigh on our minds how people hate us but don't know it... I'm very cautious with new friendships cause it's like will this person later on admit they dislike me without even being aware of it? Being post everything I understand the whole not being alone but being lonely.
Well like I said I think it all goes back to the fact that a lot of people have a very specific image in their mind of a trans man and that image often doesn't align with reality. For the record I think that happens with all transgender journeys- people have very specific images about what trans people look like and are mad when faced with someone who doesn't match that at all.
And, well. People are weirder about gender than they want to admit. Like my coworker who deliberately calls people she knows are men by feminine terms (girls, ladies, women, etc) and was so confused and needed it explained to her when the two queer men she was doing it to (myself, and our gay boss) said "hey that's uhhhhhh not a great thing to be doing......."
Or all the people who think men and women are inherently, biologically, completely distinct and practically seperate species. They get real mad if there's any or any overlap and that can range from the way bigots talk about their own homophobia to the way leftist praxis has gotten entirely out of hand with the way they treat transgender individuals.
I'm unfortunately used to having to be cautious with new friendships due to being mixed race- a lot of people feel emboldened to say some nasty shit to my face like I'm going to sympathize or agree with them, including a roommate's sibling sitting in my room looking me dead in the eyes saying she doesn't like black people and doesn't think that makes her racist like she thinks I'm going to agree and poor-baby her. I don't really have much advice outside of sticking to your boundaries and not tolerating bullshit once you find it.
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So, I'm asking honestly and in good faith to better understand Orthodox attitudes toward queerness. Suppose you had a son, who is male according to halacha, and he wants to have an intimate relationship with another man (who is similarly male according to halacha). How would you feel about this? How would your wider community feel? Do you think other Orthodox Jews in your community would feel the same in that situation, or is there a spread?
Hi anon. Thanks for the kindness in asking politely, though that should be the bare minimum. Not sure why you're asking me of all people, though. I'm an intersex transsexuel who identifies literally as a "tranny fagdyke". I am married to another transexual who also IDs as a tranny. My wider community absolutely accepts us, but it is still community dependent. So. If my son was also queer, I expect he'd be similarly loved and supported and given free food and hospitality and invited to gatherings and such because we would not be in an unaccepting community. Personally, I've never been shunned at any stage of visible queerness or transness. Maybe I've been lucky. But 7 ish communities is an awful lot for me to feel it's a fluke.
I think the thing people need to understand is that while orthodox Jews at large may not have prior knowledge, or understand, or approve, many refuse to speak out or discriminate due to lashon hara. This means you have acceptance without understanding which is MORE THAN SUFFICIENT for me, especially because the secular world is incredibly hard for me to exist in even if I'm NOT visibly religious, which I very much am. I would much rather be supported by someone who doesn't understand me than outright treated with hatred by someone who uses the politically correct terms of transgender as a slur and calls me a k*** to my face for being a Jew (my experience in secular, queer liberal spaces).
So. Lashon hara. A thing that I think EVERYONE should learn!!!! Because every SINGLE orthodox Jew I know practices it, well, religiously. Including about our trans and queer members of the community. No one chastises as harshly as a bubbe hearing someone call someone names behind their back, to be honest.
Obviously I cannot speak for every community, or even my community's private opinions because I'm ONE PERSON. I've never lived in a New York or New Jersey community. I've mostly lived in Europe, where Orthodox Judaism is often more frequently just... Judaism. It's very unfair to paint all communities with the same brush, based on what seem to me to be minority experiences within an already tiny minority. I understand it's not everyone's experience, but honestly and truly, I know more queer orthodox Jews with good experiences than I know queer orthodox Jews with bad experiences.
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I hate it when I can't use a term that fits me very well because my brain (which processes everything with images) has an image of that term that doesn't look like me.
Like when I think of "transmasc" and all that pops into my head are skinny, white, American boys with very basic styles (which isn't a bad thing, it's just "too basic" for me personally), and of course, who look like cis boys and hate their bodies or prefer other body.
Meanwhile, I'm a POC, fat, Latine person, with questionable style (/joke), who CERTAINLY doesn't look like a cis boy and who really loves their body.
How could I use a term when my brain tells me that term doesn't fit people like me? I hate that. It's just me?
hey anon. i so wish I could reach through this screen and tell you that who you are is perfect and that you have every right to terminology that feels right, but as a fat trans person myself I know it takes more than kind words to deal with a pain like this, and one that’s even more intersectional than mine with your race and culture in the picture.
but that image you have in your head of what transmasc means, that is not the reality. that is what a small part of the community, of the world, WANTS you to think because they would rather throw other members of their community under the bus to gain faux acceptance for themselves, which is NOT your fault, but it’s also not everyone, there are so many people in this community who look like you or who truly stand with you. Transmasculine history is and never has been white or thin or any of that.
I’m going to link a few things you may want to look into if you’re wanting to start accepting your identity a little more, or just to see that you really ARENT alone. trans men/transmascs of color have been part of our history since the beginning. some of these things im sharing may be somewhat nsfw and have the word 'tranny' in them, just as a warning if that stuff bothers you.
newspaper clipping showing three trans men of color at a festival for a film they were part of, the first ever sexual/porn film by and for trans men of color
some pictures showing some fat trans men and trans men of color at marches are here
Bobby Cheung, the Asian and Pacific Islander trans man who won the Mr. Transgender San Francisco Pageant in 2004
trans men of color discuss intersectionality in a film they directed called "Trappings Of Transhood"
a photo showing the attendees of an FTM conference- you can see many non-white people in attendance
a photo of a group of Latino trans men who attended Tranny Fest in 1999
basic info on victor j mukasa, a Black transmasc lesbian active in East African LGBTQ rights scene
an older fat trans gentleman's photo and experience
a post on pauli murray (please look them up. his experience is much more nuanced than this post gives them credit for, and she was a wonderful intersectional activist)
various trans men (many fat and of color) who have contributed to our history
a conference of Indian trans men
the story of a trans man named Ben
one of my personal favorite transmasc historical figures, Amelio Robles Ávila
Zander Keig, the fat Latino trans man who won social worker of the year in 2020
a wonderful read on the intersectionality of transmasculinity and race
a digital archive of trans and queer Latino history
the Instagram page of a popular Black drag king
an article with interviews with various drag kings, including several of color
Florence Hines, the Black drag king once called the most excellent male impersonator in America
more drag kings many of color!
Drag Kings: An Archaeology of Spectacular Masculinities in Latino America
anon, it is so easy to feel like you are alone when your own history has been unfairly erased from you. but when I say “you are not alone”, I am not offering empty words of comfort- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Transmasc and similar identity has truly NEVER actually been just for white people or thin people. You are WONDERFUL, and you are ABSOLUTELY a part of trans masculinity and transmasculine history is YOUR history and community as much as it is mine and others. You belong.
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10 (or So) BL Boys I Want Carnally (Plus a Couple of Girls Too)
I was tagged by @neuroticbookworm at this post here and @waitmyturtles at this post here. Thank you dearies! 🥰
Now here's the thing before I get on with the post: after a certain time I think sexual attraction is a phenomenon more intellectual than physical.
So the beautiful people I'm listing below are ones whom I think fit the list in my head as examples of those genetically blessed with sexual desirability. But it's not as though I'm really feeling a carnal stirring in the loins for them. No fantasied jumping of bones (or boners) here; I would probably run a mile in the opposite direction if any of them actually presented themselves naked and available to me, you get my drift?
Still, since the malls are open I do like to look (even if it's only window shopping through binoculars 🤣). So, in no particular order, with tongue firmly in cheek and more admiration in my head (for the obvious hard work at the gym) than lust in my heart (or anywhere else) – here goes: 😍
1. Nonkul Chanon
youtube
I know Nong Non looked like a little ball of Koreanesque sunshine in I Feel You Linger in the Air (really channeling 2PM's Wooyoung for me), but Mistah Santinatornkul used to be beefier and apparently lost weight to look all sweet and wispy for the role of Jom in IFYLITA.
Dunno bout you, but I miss the beef. (And if you do too, I urge you to click on the YouTube link above. 😁) Also, Nonkul had four lead roles in 2023; I think his star is on the ascendant, so keep an eye out for this one (he seems to have an international presence that most other Thai stars don't, though it beams eastwards). 🤩
2. Ohm Pawat
I prefer him hunkier and chunkier like he was during his Bad Buddy Pat Napat days (he's too shredded and gangly beanstalk now for me) but I've actually met Ohm in real life and (I've said this before) his smile is supernova dazzling. Like everything else in the room simply fades to a blank whiteness. (Or maybe it was just me feeling faint. 🤣) Supremely photogenic (I don't think he has any bad angles), this boy definitely has the X factor and after Bad Buddy I will always be a diehard fan.
3. MaxTul
The original kings of BL who never shied away and just went for it when it counted. I rue the loss of Tul to business or real estate or whatever it is he's focusing on now, but this coupling will always be legendary so I'm putting them together as one on my list.
4. Gap Jakarin
You may be noticing a trend here, but I do like a bit of meat with my two veg. 😜🍆🥩🥬🍴🤣 Anyway I'm all goo-goo eyed at lovable himbo Yai in The Sign, especially when we see how smitten he is with his beautiful girlfriend Sand (who's canon transgender in the show, as Yoshi Rinrada is in real life too 💖). And that's carried over to my appreciation of Gap Jakarin in all his meaty meathead glory offscreen as well.
Plus when he was in the bulking phase (or maybe it was for a role?) Gap was also carrying a fair bit of baby fat in the following photo on his Instagram, and somehow that just makes him even more teddybeardorable in my eyes: 🧸😍
5. Neo Trai
Always the boy you remember in roles you'd rather forget. I've liked his look (neck up) for a long time now; in his current gym bunny phase the rest of Neo is looking more buff by the day and I approve, aesthetically speaking. More to love. 😘
6. Force Jiratchapong
youtube
Nice to look at. Only just about makes up for his roles and acting though. I'm not hurrying to watch anything he's in, unless it's for a photoshoot like the one in the YouTube video above. 😮
7. Pavel Naret
It appears he's had a little surgical tweaking recently, but the doctors did a fine job and Pavel is always looking like he's some sort of walking sex buffet, dishing out sass and overflowing sex appeal at every turn. Still not enough to make me wanna watch Pit Babe though. 🤣
8. KaowOat Supasin
Apologies for the fuzziness of this screencap but I can almost feel non-existent ovaries swelling within me when I look at KaowOat's pensive buttcrack and delicately-placed fingers here. Almost makes me want to watch Playboyy The Series. Almost.
9. Net Siraphop
I'm also on board with everybody's carnal favorite Net, even though I've not watched a single thing he's been in (Uea's kitty ears in Bed Friend did a good job warding me off, like garlic and crucifixes to a vampire so well done James Van Helsing). Nonetheless all the screenshots and GIFs were more than enough to leave me a little breathless at Net's honey-toned beauty. Those eyes telling of mysterious depths! That handsome jawline! That teasing glimpse of buttcheek with no tanline! When upon a time will we finally get Love Upon a Time? I'll be watching, if James can keep his furry ears out of frame.
10. Kao Noppakao
Oh he of the excellent cheekbones and Cupid's Bow lips! Always looking so icy and unavailable, yet Kao utterly charmed his way into my heart in Lovely Writer (and then shattered it within the first few minutes of Until We Meet Again). Like Ohm he literally cannot take a bad photo; it's all Blue Steel and high fashion with this one.
BONUS 1 (because I am no respecter of limits):
Great Sapol is on here because he filled out his tight policeman's uniform so well in Manner of Death (and has me vibrating with pins and needles waiting for Wandee Goodday). And Taylor Zakhar Perez just because he was such a menace in Red, White & Royal Blue (that full frontal above is from Minx though). 😜 Plus TZP's name always gives me the giggles because zakar in a number of countries quite literally means what that eggplant is hiding. 🤣
BONUS 2 (because these girls have made me feel something):
Zorzo Nathanan (formerly Zorzo Natharuetai)
Ever since she roared up and flicked those lovely long locks (and legs) on her motorcycle in Lovely Writer, I've been going weak at the knees for the ravishing confection that is Zorzo. Supposedly queer in real life too; just adds to the appeal. 🤩
Namtan Tipnaree
Absolutely radiant and glowing in Last Twilight even though makeup and wardrobe have Namtan totally frumped out for the character of Porjai. If you can look this good with perpetual bedhead and a shapeless gray t-shirt, there's some kind of sexual sorcery going on and there's a part of me that wants whatever it is she's got. 💖
I always tag too many people so I'm going to buck my brand and tag just one: @non-binarypal7. But consider yourself tagged if you've read this far and would like to play too – I just love reading other people's takes in tag games! 😍
#tag game#10 bl boys i want carnally#some ql people i want carnally#gamely‚ if not gaily‚ playing along#YouTube
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