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yuzukult · 3 years

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from home 01 || jjk & reader

title: from home pairing: jungkook x reader genre: richkid!jk, baker!reader, fakedating!au, fluff, angst, e2l, smut in future chapters word count: 7.1k+ prompt: jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class?

a/n: i hate cliches but i also love them so i’m gonna write them lol also i know ‘from home’ is an nct song, don’t come @ me. in addition to that, i’m hoping i can expand my writing and be able to lengthen it as much as possible! (well... this chapter only has 7.1k but baby steps...)

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Jeon Jungkook is a disappointment.

Well, kind of. His four older brothers think so, especially when he comes stumbling at noon on a Thursday, hair disheveled, shirt buttoned all wrong, half tucked into his pants with the zipper down. “He’s already fucking drunk.” His second eldest brother, Jonghyun, hisses, standing up from the dining table of his parents’ home. They’re supposed to have a scheduled lunch together, and although Jungkook is surprisingly on time, he’s still intoxicated. Jungsik and Jongseok, his other big bros respectively, only shake their heads in their seats, finding this situation all too familiar. The baby does it again.

The oldest of them all, Junghwan, does nothing. His eyes say it all—the glimmer that once was evident in them was drowned, full of nothingness when he looks at his youngest sibling.

But their mom didn’t think of it that way. She spoiled Jungkook like crazy, to the point that he’s the way he is today. Mrs. Jeon saw potential in him the moment she birthed him in 1997; full of love, life, and glory, Jeon Jungkook was going to be off doing great things.

Yet, ever since Jungkook ripped into the age of 16, everything changed. He started smoking, cigarettes, weed, name it and Jungkook has done it. By the time he turned 17, he was experimenting with different types of alcohol, far and wide, and eventually moved up into sleeping with multiple women consecutively. Coincidentally, they’re rich from wealthy families with nothing but dollar signs in their eyes when they see Jungkook, his beauty just being a perk of the package. In spite of his women endeavors, he had enough respect for his mother not to bring them home.

“Mother,” Junghwan finally speaks up, voice stern and face hard. She comes peering out from the back, the house servants trailing behind her before they all realize the sight of Jungkook, clumsily tripping on his own feet, quickly running to his aid while his mother only gasps in horror. “Jeon Jungkook does it again. He can’t just come to a family lunch, no, that would be too easy. He has to do it while reeking of alcohol, on a weekday, all in broad daylight. This is what happens when you let your child run wild and do whatever they please with all the money in the world. They turn out like him.”

His words are harsh, but they don’t impact Jungkook like they used to. No, not after he discovered his love for vodka, whiskey... all of the above. He learned that before seeing any of his family members require at least a couple servings. Stepping into the Jeon’s residence means being criticized, words that come shooting at him like bullets and in the beginning, they pierced through his thin skin with ease, heart clenching in pain at the men he idolized and admired. His skin hasn’t thickened since then, but alcohol does a great job of numbing it all.

Mrs. Jeon glares at her eldest son, the next in line to take over the Jeon Corporation when their father retires. She loves all her kids equally, yet gifted Jungkook more attention than the rest. To be fair, she couldn’t help herself when she saw those pools of sweet chocolate called orbs, begging for her love and affection. “Jungkook, why are you drunk already, love? It’s only 12:30. You probably haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

“But I’ve already had breakfast,” He slurs, the housemaids attempting to have him seated at one of the chairs at the dining table that extends from one end to the room to the next. Seat big enough for two people, he slides down in it, head falling to the side in drowsiness. “Mimosas. My favorite breakfast drink.”

“What’d you do? Champagne with a sprinkle of orange juice?”

“Mmm, didn’t have champagne. Worked with vodka instead.” The four men grimaced.

Their mother’s face softened at his response. “Jungkookie, baby. You can’t just come marching in here like this. We’re having a lunch, together, as a family. You’re lucky your father is coming here late, or else you would’ve been kicked out in seconds.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t kick you out in seconds,” Junghwan chimes in, expression unwavering. “This is ridiculous, Jungkook. You need to stop acting like some bachelor. What are you? Twenty-three? Kim Taehyung was that age when he proposed to his now wife. Yet you’re still fucking around with mom’s friends daughters who innocently are just looking for love. How reckless is that?”

“Junghwan.” Mrs. Jeon says through her gritted teeth, eyes shooting daggers at her son. “Stop it.”

“Hyung has a point, mom,” Jonghyun interjects, making his way toward Jungkook before sitting on the armrest of the chair beside the youngest one. “What has Jungkook even done other than come to every event drunk, spend all our family’s money, and fuck around with women he has no intention of marrying?”

Mrs. Jeon raises a brow at Jonghyun, sucking in her cheeks in disbelief. “You boys are acting like you guys have never been through this phase.”

“Mom,” Jungsik, the middle child and the most empathetic of all, attempts to console his mother’s anger toward his older siblings, humming soothingly. “We all got over that by the age of 21. Jungkook is twenty-three.”

Despite being completely under the influence, the pain is evidently still there. He regrets not drinking an extra glass or two of that make-shift mimosa. They speak of him as if he’s not even in the room, and it makes him feel sick. He knows this feeling well—and his stomach stirring isn’t from the alcohol. Jungkook can’t even look at his mom at the moment, a bit embarrassed by how all his brothers seemingly gang up on their mom just because she was defending him. He really felt like a baby.

“Well, what do you suggest I do? Tell him to get married? You wouldn’t want that, right, Jungkook?” He gazes at the table. Mostly because he doesn’t know what to say, especially if she’s suddenly taking suggestions. “I take that as a no. So it’s settled, there’s nothing we can do.”

“Why don’t you just like... cut him off?” Jongseok proposes, shrugging at his own idea. “I mean, just until he gets his act together. He’s not getting any younger, and if he actually put his brain to use, he could be part of the company, leading in a division. Jungkook isn’t stupid, he’s just acting it.”

At this point, Jungkook’s consciousness begins to fade, slumber creeping up and drowning him like quicksand. For the first time, he regrets consuming so much alcohol because when he’s awake, he’s sleeping on the couch of one of their family rooms with his mother sitting in an armchair, worry washed over her face.

“Mom?” He jerks up, pushing off the blanket that someone had laid on him while he was asleep. “Everything alright?”

“Jungkook,” She begins, and he can already tell it’s going to be bad news. “I think I’ve spoiled you too much. When I first saw you as a baby, I thought that you needed everything, and I wanted to give you everything. Your brothers just grew up so much more differently than you did, your dad wasn’t so swamped with the company and had an abundance of time with them before you came along.”

His mom doesn’t look over at him. She looks uneasy, something eating her insides, and he feels nothing but remorse for her. Jungkook wants to move closer in attempts to comfort her, but it seems that she purposely sat at that distance. “I thought that giving you everything you needed and more meant that I was giving you the things that your father couldn’t give you and look where you are now... wasted every single time you come home. You haven’t had any real jobs, and when I supported you during your modeling endeavors, you threw all of that away! And for what, Jungkook? I gave you everything... and now I feel like a horrible mother.”

“Mom,” He reiterates, his voice soft and apologetic. “You’re not horrible. You took care of me, defended me against all of my hyungs, and guided me through the hardest times of my life. But maybe you’re right, I can’t do it anymore. I’ll do better, mom—”

She finally turns to see him. Her eyes are bloodshot red from the tears, bags underneath them from years of taking care of her five sons that have increased over time from Jungkook’s shenanigans. “No. Jungkook, I’m cutting you off.”

He nearly chokes on his spit. “What?”

“I’ll give you an allowance every month. It’s not a lot, but it’ll be enough to get you by. You can stay in my studio apartment downtown; I haven’t been there in a while so it’ll require some sprucing up.” She places a manila envelope on the table with Jungkook’s name written across it, wiping the tear that streams down her cheek. “You need to learn to fend for yourself, Kook.”

The next morning, Jungkook finds himself lying flat on his bed, staring up at the ceiling with his legs tangled in his satin sheets. Just like that, in an instant, he lost everything. He should’ve stayed sober before coming, or at the very least, took one shot of vodka rather than... well, a couple cups worth. Sleep didn’t come easy that night but the guilt crept in like a tsunami. All that went through his mind was how he let his mom down, her favorite son, and that she had to come to terms with this new arrangement. Disappointing his brothers was something he’d done continuously over the years anyway, so the chance of finally making them proud has gone out the window but with his mom, there was a little bit of opportunity left to show her that he wasn’t completely a fuck up.

“Thanks, Hyungjin.” Jungkook is grateful that his mom let Hyungjin drive him downtown, and to come up to help drop off his belongings. The older male nods, tipping his hat at him. Hyungjin had been Jungkook’s driver for as long as he could remember; from piano lessons, early and late school drives, to even his one-night stands, where Jungkook would panic call Hyungjin and he’d come almost immediately after. Although he’d hope to see him again, he knows that this may be the last time Hyungjin drives him. “I hope I get to see you again.”

“Of course you will, Mr. Jeon. If you prove yourself to your brothers, I’m sure that they’ll be more than willing to accept you back into the family with open arms.”

Jungkook scoffs, shoving the key to the apartment into the slot of the knob. “I wish. I’m sure they’ll find a way to still keep me out. They hate me, Hyungjin, and I don’t know what else I’m going to do.”

“No, no, Jungkook. They’re your brothers. They have nothing but love for you. Tough love, maybe, but love nonetheless.” Hyungjin carries a portion of the suitcases and bags when Jungkook opens the door to the apartment; the both of them sneezing and coughing abruptly once they step inside. The entire apartment was dusty, dark, and gloomy. The windows had these black long and heavy curtains that blocked any sunlight from seeping through, and the remains of his mother’s paintings and canvases sprawled all across the floor with splatters that coat the wooden floors and brick walls that all were collecting dust.

“Uh... I guess Mrs. Jeon isn’t tidy when her artistic side comes out.” Hyungjin jokes, eyes skimming around the apartment. He walks over to sink, turning the knob of the faucet on, and Jungkook doesn’t even notice that he’s holding his breath until he releases it when the water flows out of the spout. “Least there’s still water? I think your parents are still paying for this place.”

After shoving as much of Jungkook’s personal items into the apartment, Hyungjin brushes his hands off on his slacks, straightening his back afterwards. “Well, Mr. Jeon, congrats on the start of your new future. I know that technically I’m not supposed to drive you anymore, but... if you are in dire need of help, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

Placing a hand on Hyungjin’s shoulder, Jungkook sighs. “Thanks, Hyungjin, really. It means a lot.”

After sending Hyungjin off, Jungkook does some scavenging. For one, there’s some plates in the cabinets that he could use for the time being. No shampoo, no loofah and... when he opens the fridge in the kitchen, his face scrunches up from a whiff of the odor. Milk. Of course, his mother left half a carton of milk in there and hasn’t been back for months. “Guess... I already need to go shopping.”

“Your total is going to be ₩62,636.00.” Packing the groceries that had been scanned into the brown paper bags that were stuffed into another plastic one, you push it down the line for the customer as she’s shuffling through her purse for her wallet.

“You know, I am the bag boy, right? I can do it.” Hoseok, a fellow co-worker of yours, comments at your actions, hooded eyes darting in your direction in annoyance. “I know you’re trying to be nice to me because Hyeri broke up with me last night, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of working.”

“Hush,” You demand, yet face blooming with smiles for the customer who replicates the expression, sliding the credit card into the payment terminal. “Have a good day!” You’d cry out with every receipt you handed to a customer as they’d walk out the store, slouching immediately afterwards from the exhaustion that washes over you. “I’m just trying to make today a bit easier for you, Hobi. I know how much she means to you.”

“You’re kidding right? I’m rich, I’m only working here because I’m trying to save some money up to leave that household but I haven’t left yet. I’m thinking of doing some type of yacht party tonight; drinks, girls, all my homies getting drunk, it’s a great way to truly mend my heart.”

You roll your eyes at the male, leaning back against the register. “If you keep spending your parents’ money like that, you don’t have to leave. They’ll just kick you out.”

He gasps. “I sure as hell hope not, not ‘til I’m ready.” Shaking his head at the thought, he freezes as his mouth gapes open. “Ah, speaking of. Mrs. Jeon actually cut off one of her children. Mostly because he’s a brat and needs to be taught how to be humble... and grateful... and maybe not to be such a dick.”

“Oh?” You raise a brow questioningly. “Which one? Is it the one you’re friends with?”

Hoseok wags his finger in disagreement. “Not friend, acquaintance. We’re party buddies, but he and I don’t talk deep things like you and me. But yes, it’s the baby of them, Jeon Jungkook.”

The name is familiar. His face is plastered on almost all of the billboards that you’d pass by on your route to work. Jeon Jungkook was one of the heirs of the Jeon Corporation, and his mother being the CEO of the supermarket and café chain you had been employed at. Despite all of that, he chose to go the path of modeling (from what you know, it’s just for fun and games), and did nothing to help his family out in their business. Although you never found yourself involved with the media, Jungkook was an image hard to get rid of. His news was everywhere, especially since you had no idea how to remove the Apple News notifications from your phone. Tech wasn’t exactly your strongest suit.

“Interesting. Well, that sucks for him. Can’t have it all.”

“You say that because you’re not rich,” He frowns, crossing his arms. “You’d be living a different life if you had some more money.”

Leaning over the counter, you tap Hoseok’s nose with your pointer finger. “And I’m okay with where I am. Working two jobs, saving up money for my dreams while paying off my student loans... I’m okay with that. Yes, I’m tired, and who wouldn’t kill to be rich, but let’s be honest here. Coming from money, and money that’s not yours, sound horrible.”

“And it is,” Someone sighs, dropping their groceries onto the conveyor belt. “Money that’s actually yours being spent doesn’t feel as fulfilling as when you’re spending someone else’s, but having them control how you spend it... well, it’s not the best.”

“I mean, I feel great knowing that I earned my own money and—“ As you turn to meet with this customer, you’re speaking to the devil himself. Jeon Jungkook. “—oh, uh, Hello.” Magazines, pictures on the internet, billboards... all of them do not do Jungkook any justice because he’s not just gorgeous in person, but he looks like perfection on legs. The way he pushes his long locks back when they begin to irritate his eyes, his skin is milky smooth, supple and soft, and when he shoves his hands into his pockets afterwards, all you can think about is how his arms flex in the sleeves of his T-shirt.

“Kook,” Hoseok greets, forehead crinkled in confusion as he extends his hand for a shake. “What... why are you here? I’ve never seen you at a supermarket before. Doesn’t your personal chef take care of those things for you?” He’s feigning ignorance, afraid that his assumptions of Jungkook’s withdrawal from wealth is only gossip spread by the middle aged women. Jungkook lets out another heavy sigh, shoulders dipping in disappointment. “Well, you probably heard from your mom... who heard from my mom. She kicked me out. Cut me off. So... I’m trying to fend for myself now and get some groceries for dinner tonight.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Uh, my mom used to have an art studio downtown. She’s too busy to go there anymore, so she paints at home now. So the studio is pretty much abandoned... therefore I’m residing there now. I’m also getting an allowance every month to live off of.”

You snort. It was truly an accident, but the words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth were unbelievable. His mom made him leave the house yet gifted him an apartment and an allowance? Does anyone even consider this as being kicked out? “I’m sorry,” He turns to look at you. “Is something funny?”

“I... thought you said she cut you off?”

Without saying it, his face contorts to a visual version of an, And?

“Well, if your mother really cut you off, you wouldn’t even have an apartment. You’d be living on the streets or sleeping on your friends’ couches in rotation. Trust me, I know, I’ve been there. And you’re still receiving an allowance from them?”

Jungkook thinks he doesn’t realize that you’re from a wealthy family as well. “You... have been cut off of your family money and kicked out?”

Hoseok bursts in a laugh, hand in front of him in an attempt to stop himself before apologizing. “Ehem, sorry. She’s never been cut out, her family isn’t well-off in the first place. She’s trying to say she did the latter, sleeping on her friends’ couches on rotation. Me being one of them.” As you’re scanning his groceries one by one, sliding them down to Hoseok, he bags them quickly and efficiently as Jungkook’s eyes dazes off in amazement at his skill. “You... said you’re still getting an allowance from her?”

Jungkook nods but he’s completely immersed by yours and Hoseok’s quick movements, shuffling through the bags and scanning the items. When his toothpaste doesn’t beep, he watches as you start typing in some group of numbers into the register. The system recognizes it immediately before you turn back, resuming into your previous actions. He admits that this isn’t the first time he’s been in a supermarket, but the last time he remembered stepping foot in any of his mom’s businesses was probably before he hit puberty.

“So that’s going to be... ₩113,552.00.” Hoseok looks up when he realizes that Jungkook hasn’t moved from his position. “Jungkook?”

Jungkook shakes his head from his daze, quickly rummaging through his pockets for his wallet. “Sorry, I was just... you guys are really good at that.”

“At what?” You ask, confused with your brows furrowed.

He gestures the register and bags with his chin as he pulls out his wallet. “The whole... register thing. You guys move fast and... expertly. Where’d you learn to do that?”

You and Hoseok freeze. It’s weird to hear, exclusively forthcoming from someone who’s known to be arrogant, and yet the expression on his face is genuinely impressed by the show the two of you had just put on for him. “Uh... basic training? They just give you some tips and you just do it.”

“That’s it? It’s that easy?” He says, eyes bulging from his head at the simple response.

“Well, I wouldn’t say easy,” Hoseok rephrases as Jungkook inserts his credit card into the system. “It gets tiring when your shift gets long. But the task itself isn’t difficult, just becomes brutal.” You shake your head in affirmation, wiping the counter down with a rag. “Don’t look down on your local grocery store employees! Where else would you get your groceries without them to help you?”

He laughs, and he’s so pretty when he laughs, but what subsequents after his laugh isn’t so... pretty. “I won’t, but I don’t think I’d ever work in a supermarket either. Not really for me. I think I have more potential than... everyone here.”

Hoseok eyes his friend quizzically. “Uh... I didn’t think I would be either. I didn’t choose to work here, you know. I want to move out eventually, so I’m saving money. Do you think she chooses to work here too? No. This is temporary for us, Kook. But even so, there’s people who have to work here because it’s how they put food on the table.”

He only shrugs. “I guess. I just think I can do better than this. Thanks for the family discount though! Even though the allowance my mom gave me paid for it.”

And with that, he leaves.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” You jeer, completely appalled by Jungkook’s comment. “Is it because he’s the boss’ son? Is that why? That’s so ridiculous, why didn’t I say something—“ Hoseok interrupts your rant with the sound of your name soothingly coming out of mouth. “Let him be. I believe in karma and it’s going to bite him in the ass later.” You let out a dejected sigh, caving into his words. “On another note... you’re coming to my yacht party right?”

You hate Hoseok for luring you here.

He’s got chicks in bikinis, dancing away with their drinks swaying in their glasses, waists so thin you could wrap your hands around them. Guys are lounging, admiring the view of both the sea and the women, alcohol also accompanying their hands, whispering things here and there when they catch a sight of you— jeans and a crop top. You were not going to let Hoseok see you in a bikini, no matter how nice he is to you. He’s still a slob at heart.

When Hoseok spots you through the crowd, he hollers your name. “Oh my gosh! You actually came! I’m so stoked! Which text convinced you to come? I did all those things, just in case any of them are actually the reason why you came.”

hoseokie [1:03PM]: pls come to my party hoseokie [1:03PM]: we’ve got tacos hoseokie [1:04PM]: we’ve got white claw hoseokie [1:05PM]: we’ve got pigs in a blanket hoseokie [1:05PM]: we’ve got some weird hors d'oeuvres hoseokie [1:06PM]: we’ve got fresh fish hoseokie [1:07PM]: we’ve got... mini sandwiches?? idk i’m running out of nice things to mention hoseokie [1:09PM]: what about.... chick-fil-a? i know chicks dig that hoseokie [1:09PM]: i take that back, i know you’re into the feminist thing and don’t like it when i say collectively chicks like something

You frown. He’s so annoying.

hoseokie [1:12PM]: attachment 1 image

Ah. There it was. The true reason why you’ve decided to come.

The picture mostly shows the food that sits at the table, but the angle that Hoseok takes it from gives you a glimpse of the kitchen, a delicious glance because right there is a take for inspiration for your own that you’d like to see for yourself. With that, you figure you’d hit two birds with one stone; getting to steal an idea for a small kitchen and celebrate Hoseok’s... breakup? You’re not even sure what this is for.

“Uh, where’s the kitchen? I want to wash my hands.”

He’s kind of drunk, so you’re thankful he doesn’t probe for more information, like why the kitchen and not the bathroom. “Downstairs. Do you need me to take you?”

“Nah, I’m good.” You grin, walking in the direction he points afterwards. On route to the kitchen, you spot the catering of Chick-Fil-A. Guess he kept to his word after all.

That’s when you spot him.

Jungkook is sitting on one of the white leather couches that Hoseok’s yacht is built with, arms resting on the top of the seat while surrounded by women who giggle with their hands on his chest with hearts coming from their eyes in admiration. “Kook-ie, you’re so funny! Who knew someone like you would have such a beautiful personality!”

You have to swallow the vomit that’s begging to leave your body.

Finally downstairs, you get to see it yourself with your own eyes. It’s beautiful. So beautiful that you can’t believe that a room can look this beautiful, and on top of that, it looks untouched. Reaching the stove, you almost hold in your breath from all the excitement forming in you, pulling the handle out to peek inside. “Jesus, stainless steel, great for cleaning, so much space, enough for inventory, and so much wattage—”

“Are you getting turned on by a stove?”

Fuck. Slamming it the oven shut, you abruptly straighten yourself. “Uh, no.” Turning to see the owner of the voice, you frown at the sight. Of course, with your luck, it’s Jungkook. “I’m just really curious on how people do their kitchens. I wanna open a bakery and want some ideas on how to work with a limited amount of space.”

Your breath hitches at the view; the shirt he has on is barely even buttoned, exposing his toned chest, and his hair is slicked back with a comma curl that hangs over his forehead. His lips are pink and plump, arms are tight in their sleeves, and when he leans over on the counter across from where you stand, the smile that tugs on the edges of his mouth is so pretty. “Hire an interior designer. Why do you need to do it yourself?” His breath already reeks of alcohol, and the drink in his hand almost screams that it’s not going to be his last either. “I don’t have the money for it.”

“Sure you do, you have two jobs. Why do things yourself when other people can do it for you?” You roll your eyes at him. “Because, unlike you, I have student debt. I need to pay for that and start a business. It’s not easy. I need to make a profit somewhere.”

He shrugs before saying nonchalantly, “I’ll pay for you.”

“With what money?” It comes out faster than you expected, but it’s too late to back down now. “With the money my mom gave me,” He responds calmly, tapping his fingers against the counter. “It’s more than enough to start a business.”

You nearly piss your pants. His mother’s allowance was enough to fucking start a business. Jungkook was indeed not in lack of resources and with the way his mom was taking care of this meant he will never truly learn responsibility.

“Are you kidding me?” You’re almost gasping for air. “Your mom gives you that much money for an allowance? What are you? I thought she was cutting you off. At this rate, you’re never going to actually be an adult. How are you even going to prove to her that you’re capable?”

He gets up from the counter, startled by your sudden outburst. “What makes you think I’m incapable?”

“You were just about to give me money to start a business. This is the second time you’ve met me, Jungkook. You don’t even know me. You don’t even know what the business is for, what my plans are, and where it’s going to be. You were just going to throw away good money without even having any knowledge of what it’s going to be used for!”

Unsure what to say, he speaks the only thing that comes to mind. “I trust you because you’re friends with Hoseok, and well, I trust Hoseok.” How could a guy with five older siblings who all went to prestigious ivy league universities, including attending one of them himself, be so gullible and naïve?

“That means nothing, Jungkook. All it means is that we have a mutual friend. I can’t stand kids like you, strutting around with all the money in the world without knowing what to do with it. You have no real responsibilities, no real life plan, no dreams— nothing! All you do is fuck around and get drunk. What a fucking waste of space.” You shake your head before climbing up the stairs out of the lower level of the yacht, heated from Jungkook. He hasn’t actually said or done anything actually wrong yet you can’t help but hate him. Jungkook was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and all you can think about is how you were born with a plastic one instead.

You’re not actually anyone to Jungkook. No, not really, especially since yes, like you mentioned before, it’s only the second time he has met you. Whether or not if the proposal for paying for those things were serious, he wasn’t sure why he made you upset so easily.

But it hurt. Those things you said really hurt— more than when he speaks to his brothers.

So he drinks. He drinks the pain away or just enough that it fades to the point he doesn’t notice it as much anymore.

When you catch him slouched on the couch alone, cheeks flush pink from what you assume is from the beer sitting in his hands loosely, guilt washes over you. Without much thought, you’re already making your way to the innocent looking boy, buttoning his shirt up and tearing the can from his grip. You figured you’d take him home, it’s the least you can do after flipping him off earlier.

With Jungkook’s arm draping over your shoulder, you wince when the button on his sleeve tugs on your necklace. “Jungkook, could you at least try lifting yourself up so I’m not doing all the heavy lifting here?” He doesn’t say much but mumbles with drool coming out from the side of his mouth, emitting a whine from you.

“Oh my god, is that Jungkook?” Mrs. Jeon drops the book she reads in what seems like a living room, rushing toward your side before Jungkook vomits again on the marble floor. “Hana! Nayeon! Please come clean this up— quickly, quickly, please.” She pulls his other arm over her shoulder, tugging him along with you before reaching the couch, letting him settle down easy. If she wasn’t here, you would’ve thrown him on it. “Sorry CEO Jeon, I wanted to take him back to his place but... I didn’t know where he lived and I didn’t really feel comfortable leaving him by himself like this. So... I googled your estate and here we are.”

She gives you a pained smile, clenching your heart at the same time before she’s draping a blanket onto Jungkook’s sleeping body. “Would you like some tea?”

It feels weird sitting on a tall stool chair at a marble countertop island in such a huge kitchen. There was more than enough space to hire a staff sized for a large wedding venue, and truth to be told, you were jealous of the appliances that were stocked. If only you could touch the deck oven, just one touch...

Mrs. Jeon says your name for the first time since you’ve introduced yourself, interrupting your thoughts. “Ah, yes, CEO Jeon?”

“You keep calling me that. Do you perhaps work at one of my franchises?”

Rubbing the sides of the mug full of tea anxiously, you nod. “Two, actually. I work at one of the supermarkets down in Seoul, and a café at the University. I admire your plans and how you treat your employees, so I based my search on that.”

There’s a smile that jumps upon her lips, and it’s genuinely full of joy in comparison to the one she shares when you dragged Jungkook in. “A hard-working class citizen. I love that.” She brings the mug to her lips, taking a sip of her tea before sitting it down gently. “You brought Jungkook here. Are you two... an item, maybe? I’ve never seen him bring anyone home.”

Hastily, you wave your hands in front of you in denial. “Oh, no, no, CEO Jeon, we are not. If anything, I brought him home.” You pause for a moment as she eyes you carefully. “Oh, wait, no, not like that, I meant brought him to his home, here. Not to my house. Gosh, no, that’s weird.” Mrs. Jeon laughs, leaning back, almost stumbling off her seat and you were already set on your toes in preparation to catch her. “Geez, my son displeases you that much? Honestly, I wouldn’t be so opposed if you told me that you both were in a relationship.”

You blink. “Really? Why’s that? I kind of expected you to hope for him to go for someone who’s a bit more... accustomed to this lifestyle? Not that there’s anything wrong with it... I just... this is a bit different.”

Although you had been preoccupied with dragging Jungkook into the house, there was no missing in the way their home looked. Chandelier hanging in the hall off the ceiling with crystal-like features that you were sure were actually authentic diamonds, walls and floors were marble and granite, portraits and paintings that hung on the walls were originals, and the size of the home itself was... breathtakingly prodigious. The kitchen alone was a prime example— from your own personal research and knowledge, the appliances were top tier products of the industry, only the best of the best were able to afford it. Not to mention that the dimensions of the kitchen was about four times the surface area of your apartment.

Mrs. Jeon shakes her head in lack of approval, tapping her fingers against the ceramic cup. “No, I want my sons to go for love that they feel is real. But for Jungkook, I always hope for more than just that, someone who can teach him that this life of luxury isn’t necessarily everything. He hasn’t found anyone yet, or at least, I still hope it’s you, but I figured cutting him off the money would be the next best option.”

You tilt your head to the side, mouth open in hesitation. “But... you didn’t cut him off. Jungkook still gets an allowance.”

“Yes, but—“

“Sorry to interrupt, but isn’t that defeating the purpose? Like... you want Jungkook to go off and learn responsibility and what it means to be a functioning adult yet you’re still giving him money. I don’t want to criticize but...” You’re expecting her to jump at the chance to interject, mention something about how you’re overstepping, but she does nothing. Instead, her shoulders slouch and she frowns. “Am I doing this wrong? Should I take his allowance away?”

Honesty seems like an iffy noun to act on at the moment, but you speak words with it, nonetheless. “CEO Jeon, don’t get me wrong, you are a great person. But if you’re trying to teach your egotistical and spoiled-rotten son some life lessons, putting a step stool down for him isn’t going to make it any better.”

“It was you, wasn’t it!” Jungkook exclaims, stomping into the supermarket with his face flushed red with anger, hair pushed back with a vein popping out on his forehead. He has his pointer finger directed at you, startling Hoseok as he shoves Jungkook’s finger down. “Ok, I get you’re mad, but no pointing please. You may proceed.”

He scoffs. “She did this, you know. My mom cut me off. Completely! Done, I’m so done for. How the hell am I supposed to pay for anything? All she gave me was the money I earned from those modeling gigs in the past. What the hell is that going to do for me two months from now?”

“Uh... I don’t know, get a job?” You say sarcastically, unfazed by his fit of temper. If childish is how he’s going to act, he might as well embarrass himself while he’s at it. “It’s not my fault that she decided to actually cut you off.” Jungkook doesn’t get the right to come in here, full of flames just because of something you suggested to his mother the night he blacked out. He doesn’t, especially not after you learn from Mrs. Jeon why she wants to do this in the first place.

“Where the fuck am I supposed to get a job?”

Hoseok stares at Jungkook blankly for a moment before pointing to a sign behind him, taped to the wall with big letters printed.

CASHIER FOR HIRE @ THE JEON MARKET! PLEASE SEE AN ASSOCIATE FOR DETAILS ON HOW TO APPLY!

Jungkook lets out a heavy breath of defeat, falling back against the counter, fingers raking his strands of hair back stressfully. “Fuck, fuck...” He closes his eyes, head falling back. “... Fuck.”

It’s barely even the start of his first day and he’s presently on the verge of throwing another hissy fit when the apron doesn’t tie around his body like it does for the other workers. “Are you fucking—”

Snatching the fabric from his hands, you can see through Jungkook’s orbs that he’s ready to pounce at you for doing that, but you’re already standing on the tip of your toes as he dips down unconsciously for you while pulling the loop over his head. “This is so much easier when you’re calm, cool, and collected enough to think like a sane person.” He mutters a quick thanks, jutting out a puff of air from his lips. “Also, tie your hair up, will you? It doesn’t look professional.”

“Professional?” He scoffs, shaking his head as you’re slipping off the hair band that’s on your wrist, handing it over to him that he grabs unwillingly. “This place is far from professional. It’s a freaking goddamn supermarket.”

“It’s just... in your face and we have an employee handbook that wants your hair out of your face so the customers can see your lovely smile.”

“You think my smile is lovely?” His heart is warm at the compliment but it quickly fades when you respond, “No, it’s how it’s worded in the handbook. I’m only quoting what I read.”

“Why are you helping me anyway? I thought you didn’t like me.” This was true, notably since you’ve last spoken to him was with fury and fire in your eyes. But you merely just roll your eyes this time, turning away to turn the dial on your locker, pulling a slip of paper out to hand to him. “I was assigned to train you. Here’s your locker combo. Don’t think I’m doing this to be nice to you.”

“I’m still trying to understand what I did wrong that made you hate me.”

Tying your own hair back in the magnetic mirror that hangs on your locker door, there’s clips in your mouth to push your bangs back and Jungkook can’t help but find the action so... attractive. After taking the bobby pins from your mouth and slipping them into your hair, you straighten your shirt before turning to face him. “Because I can’t stand entitled people. And you are one of them.”

His mouth drops and closes several times before he finally gets the guts to speak up. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Tugging the apron over your head and knotting the strings behind you, you inhale sharply afterwards. “I know that you’re the CEO’s youngest son, the bachelor, who basically doesn’t really do anything but freeload off his parents and spend their money. You’ve never had a real job before today and if I’m being totally honest, I kind of expect you to fail.”

“To fail?” He exasperates, his posture stiffens, in disbelief of your perspective. “I haven’t even started the job yet and you had this image of me build up before I even get the chance to clock in.”

“Speaking of, come here, I’ll show you how to clock in.”

Trailing behind you to a mysterious machine that hangs on the wall, he can’t help but attempt to sink everything in around him. He’s in the back of a supermarket, his mother’s supermarket, one of many, dressed in their uniform with his luxurious hair tied back, hidden away from all the people to admire. The locker room has flickering melancholic lights that he realized are unflattering when he looks at himself in the mirror earlier, and the people here drag their legs when leaving through the double doors to start the shift, all the way to the end.

“Hello, Earth to Jungkook?” You wave your hands in front of his drifted gaze, frowning at his sudden daydream.

“I can’t believe that it’s gotten this bad. I have to work... like a real job. I’ve never had a job in my entire life.”

“Well, yeah. I mentioned that just moments ago.”

His stare shifts to you, worry written all over his face. “I’m above all of this, above all of the people working here. I know what it’s like to be happy—I have money for god’s sake, I don’t need any of this. I could be working some corporate job right now that requires less effort.”

“Jungkook, I haven’t even started the training yet.”

He still hasn’t learned how to clock in before a shift yet and he’s already prepping to quit this job.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #bts smut #bts fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #gyukultfics

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novelconcepts · 3 years

Note

The night Dani sees Peter Quint, a blackout happens during the storm. The officers say that it's not safe to stay there in the middle of a storm and without a way to talk to the police if necessary. Hannah and the kids go to Owen's house. Jamie offers a ride, her little flat, clothes and a bath (since crazy Dani decided to run after Peter during the storm).

There's just one bed prompt. Maybe a small couch or chair.

They listen, which is frankly more than Dani expected when Hannah insisted on calling the police. She suspects it has less to do with the Peter Quint of it all, and more to do with the lightning strike, the cataclysm of rain, an old house plunged into deep black. No phone lines, the officers point out with weary expressions that say they are not certain Peter Quint is truly a danger--but Lord Wingrave is not without a certain amount of authority around these parts, and if any further tragedy should befall his niece and nephew, these men would find themselves overloaded on unpleasant paperwork and worse press.

Bad reasons, Dani thinks with a scowl. They ought to have gone into this field to help people, not scoff at Hannah’s fear and Dani’s unease. They ought to be doing something, not simply waving them off the property for the night. It’s listening, sort of, but it isn’t hearing.

She glances at Jamie as the officers speak--directly, she notes, to Owen, as though as the only man among them, he has defaulted to de facto lord of the manor. He looks uncomfortable, rubbing a hand through wet hair; Dani remembers him saying, I was born in Bly, wonders if he went to school with either of the men in slick uniform.

Jamie doesn’t look uncomfortable. Jamie looks angry. There’s a fire burning in her Dani suspects never entirely went out after this afternoon’s rose debacle, one that might have been tempered if they’d been able to track Quint down outside. But he’s in the wind, the product of long legs and a better awareness of the terrain. Dani, giving chase into a fresh downpour before she could think better of her choices, is still itching at the memory of his long coat vanishing into the dark.

She’d run into Jamie, instead--full-force, a bone-rattling collision that had sent them both tumbling into the sopping grass. It might have been funny, if not for the echo of Quint’s footfalls dying away.

“If he’s here?” Jamie asks now. “Quint. If he’s still here? What then?”

The officer in charge gives her a brief look, barely long enough to register detail. “If he’s here,” he says boredly, “all the better that you aren’t.”

Jamie grinds her jaw. She seems barely to be containing herself, resisting the impulse to explain in no uncertain terms that this is their home, this place Quint is intruding upon. Their home--Hannah and the kids and Dani, at least--where Quint would be trailing slimy fingers. The idea of that smirking face going through the bedrooms makes Dani shudder. It seems to press Jamie toward an unwise argument.

Without thinking, Dani reaches out, lays a hand on her shoulder. Jamie’s hair is still dripping, her jacket sodden. Her eyes, catching on Dani’s face, widen a little, her teeth unclenching.

“You have somewhere to go?” the head officer reiterates, glancing back toward the door as though dreaming of a warm car, a comfortable house far from the manor. Owen nods in Hannah’s direction.

“Mum won’t mind. Can have a little sleepover.”

“Yes!” Flora perks up. She’s been uncharacteristically quiet, leaning against Miles’ side, but her whole face switches on like a lantern now. “A sleepover!”

“How’s about it, Miles?” Hannah taps him lightly on the head. “A little evening adventure.”

He looks uncertain, but when she ruffles his hair, a slow smile creeps across his face. Dani’s relieved to see it--she’s started to believe Miles is thirty-five in a ten-year-old frame, the weight of so much loss bearing him down like an anchor. He deserves a little fun.

“And you,” Hannah adds, looking to Dani as if reading her mind. “What do you say to a night off?”

Dani blinks. “Oh, I don’t think that’s necess--”

“Chased a man into the storm,” Hannah interrupts. “Not a decision I’d approve of twice, but it was quite brave. And, forgive me dear, but you look like you could use a proper rest in the aftermath.”

That might be, Dani thinks absently, the nicest way of saying you look like shit I’ve ever heard.

“I’ll just get cleaned up real quick,” she says, “and then I’ll be perfectly fine to--”

Hannah raises a hand. “I insist. Let Owen and I handle them for the evening.”

Dani opens and closes her mouth several times. What’s the alternative? Is Hannah expecting her to stay here? Here, in a house they’re all carefully not admitting feels much bigger in the dark, huddled around the glow of policeman flashlights?

“Can crash at my place,” Jamie says, almost gruffly. “If you don't mind the company.”

Hannah looks unsurprised by this offer. Dani feels a little light-headed at the idea.

“I--I’m all muddy.”

Jamie makes a show of looking down at her own clothes, caked in wet clods of grass, soaked nearly to the skin. She raises her eyebrows in Dani’s direction as if to say, Any more sterling arguments?

Dani has none.

Jamie doesn’t say a word as they load into her truck, Dani trying her best to shrink down to inhabit as limited a space as possible. Her legs ache with the effort of holding her feet aloft, her thighs pressed together to prevent staining the whole seat with grime. Jamie glances in her direction, pulling carefully out onto the road, and Dani could swear she’s trying not to smile.

“Know what I do for a living, don’t you?”

Dani nods. Jamie clears her throat.

“Then should go without saying you’re not the first to track mud into the truck. Relax.”

Embarrassed, Dani does as she’s bid. From the corner of her eye, she sees Jamie’s mouth twitch again--sees Jamie’s hands resting comfortably at ten and two, Jamie’s shoulders slightly rounded as though by holding her posture firm, she can punch a hole through the sheeting rain. She doesn’t seem nervous in the least to be driving through this mess with Dani huddled beside her.

Jamie, Dani is starting to think, doesn’t get nervous.

Well, that makes one of us.

She has nothing to be nervous about, is the thing. Chasing a strange man into a storm, racing after him with nothing but a fire poker and a hot protective impulse--that should have made her nervous. Should have scared the shit out of her. And it hadn’t. She’d felt bizarrely well-equipped for the decisions she was making, at the time. Peter Quint, she’d been certain, should have been the nervous one.

But now, sitting with wet hair and mussed clothes beside a woman she’s held barely three conversations with, Dani feels distinctly out of her element. No kids. No easy warmth of a carefully-sewn-together family opening its arms to let her in. Just a truck, rattling along a slick road on its way to a tiny town she’s never set foot in before.

And a woman with wet curls plastered to her forehead, stealing tiny glances at Dani like she’s not quite sure what to do with her.

“Flat’s small,” Jamie says, as if apologizing, as she parks outside a pub that looks older than any establishment in Dani’s hometown. “Don’t need much. But there are no screamin’ kids.”

Flora and Miles aren’t much for screaming without reason, but Dani thinks she takes Jamie’s point all the same. Quiet, Jamie is trying to say. Dani can properly rest here, Jamie is trying to say. Jamie doesn’t mind offering up her space.

“Ready?” The rain is still coming down in a torrent. Jamie’s hand is positioned at the doorhandle, Jamie’s posture strung tight. “Make a break for it on three. One--two--”

They run, damp clothes made soggy all over again, and Dani is surprised to hear herself make a whooping sound of joy as she splashes through puddles. Jamie, she thinks, could move faster--Jamie’s got a runner’s stamina when she puts her mind to it--but she’s jogging along at an easy pace, refusing to leave Dani behind. Her hand catches once on Dani’s sleeve, pulling her to the stairs behind the pub, guiding her up to a door at the top.

“Storms like these,” Jamie says when they’ve tumbled breathlessly into her home, “remind me of bein’ a kid. Sitting in school, hoping the power’d go so they’d send us home early.”

“Did it ever happen?” Dani wraps her arms around herself, trying not to shiver, trying not to drip too expansively across the scored floorboards. Jamie grins.

“Once. I was seven. Spent the whole day out in it anyway, caught the worst cold of my life. Best goddamn day a kid could want.”

She looks so at home here, as Dani watches her pull off her boots, drape her jacket lazily over a chair, stride around turning on lights. At the manor, Jamie is casual enough, rarely inclined to rush or worry, but here, it’s instantly clear she knows every creak in the floor, every stubborn lightswitch, every inch of a domain that is entirely Jamie.

A domain she has, for no reason at all, opened up to Dani tonight. The reality of it crashes home all at once, landing hard. Jamie barely knows her, and still is willing to give Dani a place to stay. Jamie barely knows her, and still is holding out a gray towel and a bundle of clothes, her smile crooked.

“Thought you might like to get out of those.”

A spike of warmth makes its way up Dani’s spine, settling somewhere around her ears. She crushes it down, forcing herself to accept the sweats and t-shirt with a grateful smile of her own.

“Thank you. Honestly, you didn’t have to do any of this--”

“The rain,” Jamie says easily, “is the fun part. The cold, not so much. Bath’s this way.”

Bathroom, Dani assumes she means--until Jamie gestures at the little tub, barely big enough for a woman her size. She looks marginally embarrassed for the first time, but it’s a resolute sort of embarrassment, as though Jamie has little patience for it.

“Not much,” she says. “But still better than catching ill. Take however long you like.”

Dani watches her back out of the room, a tumble of unfamiliar emotions in her chest. Someone offering up everything--home, clothes, bathtub--without asking for something in return is strange. Someone doing that much and then leaving, peaceable as the turn of a new day, is unheard of. She hesitates, waiting at the closed door for signs that Jamie will change her mind--or knock, having thought of something else Dani might need--and nothing comes. This room has become, so long as Dani wants it, her space. Jamie will take it back only when Dani’s finished.

Unwelcomely, she tries to imagine Eddie doing this very thing. Eddie, who only refrains from haunting her European adventures with postcard and phone call because he has no idea how to find her. Eddie, who would think the offer of clothes and a hot bath automatically come with other perks, and who would smile as he stepped in to collect like he couldn’t imagine her wanting to be left alone.

She shakes her head. Eddie is gone, and she is here, and Jamie isn’t him. Is so unlike him, in fact, it’s hard to imagine them standing in the same room.

And why, some little part of her pipes slyly up, are you comparing them in the first place?

She shivers, turning on the water, letting it run as hot as possible before sinking in. She leans her head back against a wadded-up washcloth, surveying the simplicity of the bathroom--single toothbrush, single cup for water, a minute assortment of hairbrush, hair ties, sunscreen. There is a dried rose framed beside the door, a small bunch of purple-and-white flowers she can’t name in a tiny windowsill vase.

It’s all very discreet, all very Jamie. To look at it with this much freedom, to be trusted alone in a space that has belonged to no one else, makes her heart pound.

She’s only being nice. And so what? What does it matter?

It matters. Even if she never says so, even if she never lets it out of her heart, Dani can’t deny that it matters. Like it mattered watching Jamie walk into the kitchen earlier this week, glancing at her with an easy raise of brows like she was thinking, Sure. You can stay. You’re one of us.

Jamie, calling her Poppins, telling her she’s doing great, offering her flat without a second’s pause. None of it warranted. None of it asked for. All of it so incredibly welcome.

She stays in the bath until the shivers ease out, carefully soaping her hair with the little bottle of shampoo on the windowsill. A different scent and brand than her own, and as she’s rinsing clean, she realizes she will smell like Jamie now. If for only a night, her hair--and the clothes Jamie gently pressed into her hands--will hold just a little bit of the gardener’s influence.

The warmth she’s beginning to attribute to Jamie sweeps through her again at the idea. That, and the awareness that these are Jamie’s things hugging her body. Jamie’s belongings, offered up like she feels not the least bit possessive about her living space. Sure. You can stay. You’re one of us.

“Warm?” Jamie asks when she finally steps back out of the bathroom. Her hair is still wet, though she’s changed into a clean white shirt and sweatpants of her own. Dani nods, confused when Jamie grins.

“What?”

“I think,” Jamie says placidly, “this is the first time I’ve seen you out of pastels. Suits you.”

Dani glances down. The threadbare black t-shirt bears a jagged white London Calling in peeling letters. She can’t help smiling.

“Maybe I’m a secret punk fan.”

“Are you?” Jamie sounds interested. Dani shakes her head.

“Sorry, no. Always open to learning, though.”

Here it is again: that funny, twisting feeling in her stomach that says she is at home with Jamie. That Jamie is easy and warm, despite the anger simmering somewhere deep down and a tendency toward cropping her sentences with swear words. That Jamie has opened her home to Dani only because Jamie has opened to her, on some level neither of them is entirely sure how to approach.

“Thank you,” she says, because it’s easier than putting this feeling into words. “For all of this. You didn’t have to.”

Jamie shrugs. “Wanted to. You haven’t had an easy couple of days. Sometimes, a little quiet goes a long way.”

She’s seated on the arm of the couch, bare feet dangling an inch off the floor. Looking at her, Dani can’t entirely wrap her mind around the idea that she’s only known this woman for a couple of days. That she doesn’t, in fact, know much of anything about her at all.

And still, when Jamie rises and begins arranging pillow and blanket on the couch, Dani’s stomach performs a backflip she’d never come close to feeling with Eddie.

“That’s really kind of you,” she says, the words a blind effort to distract from her trembling hands. “I really don’t need much, you don’t have to go to any trouble--”

Jamie glances over her shoulder. “No trouble. Bed’s just that way.”

Dani turns to look. Sure enough, behind a pulled-back curtain, she can just make out Jamie’s mattress and frame. “I--I mean, I won’t be bothering you, if that’s what you--”

“What?” Straightening, Jamie frowns. “No, I mean, it’s yours. Take it. I sleep on the couch half the goddamn time anyway, it’s no--”

“I am not,” Dani interrupts, “taking your bed, Jamie.”

Not since her last argument with Miles has she been engaged in such a standoff. Jamie, still holding a pillow, looks ready to chain herself to the couch. Dani, heady with the inescapable awareness of Jamie’s shampoo rinsed out of her own hair, can’t have that. It’s too much. Clothes and space and ride--all of that, she can accept. But foisting Jamie from her own bed?

“I’m not doing it,” she says. Her arms are folded, her mouth pulling into a smile she can’t for her life shake. “I’m told I'm very stubborn, so you might as well just let me have that couch now.”

“I--” For the first time all night, Jamie seems to be at a loss. “I’m--aiming for chivalry, here, Poppins.”

“You’ve been nothing less,” Dani assures her. “A white knight, really. But I’m afraid this is where I have to draw the line.”

“I sleep on it all the time.”

“So, it’s my turn.”

Jamie’s whole face seems on edge of some kind of collapse--though into laughter or upset, Dani can’t begin to guess. She has a brief flash of possibility, the two of them standing on either side of the couch all night, arguing well into daylight over who ought to take the proper night’s sleep.

“You’ve got kids to handle in the morning,” Jamie says reasonably, proving her point.

“You spent all day working in the sun,” Dani volleys in return. She thinks for a moment, then adds, “Also, I knocked you into a puddle earlier, and you didn’t get a nice warm bath.”

“Didn’t need one.” Jamie looks exasperated. “Poppins, come on. This doesn’t have to be a big bloody deal.”

It doesn’t, Dani agrees. It really doesn’t. All Jamie has to do is step out of the way, step behind that curtain, put herself to bed where she belongs.

Or, alternatively--

It’s coming out of her mouth before she can stop it. Before she can run through all the reasons not to suggest this very thing. Before she can pin down the butterflies having a dogfight in her stomach and make a decision based in good judgment.

“Look, if you’re that committed to making me sleep in the bed, come join me.”

Jamie nearly drops the pillow. Her calm has utterly vacated the flat, leaving behind a woman who looks--if Dani isn’t much mistaken--much nearer to frantic than she’s ever seen Jamie before. Much nearer to the kind of nervous Dani had been on the ride over.

“I,” she says. “That--I shouldn’t--”

“It’s the best compromise,” Dani says, trying to sound reasonable. Trying to sound as though the invitation to share Jamie’s bed isn’t making her entire body run with sudden electricity. “Neither of us is very big, I’m sure we can fit.”

“I’m--sure we can.” Jamie is grimacing. Jamie looks pained. If she had an elegant way out, Dani would take it back simply to erase that look from Jamie’s face, a look that says Jamie would rather sleep in her tiny bathtub than wherever Dani is.

Elegant way out, she can’t find, and she’s tired. Tired, and buzzing with nerves, and somehow, the au pair wins out over all possible variants of Dani Clayton. “It isn’t that bad an idea,” she says, her voice steady. “I don’t even snore.”

This breaks something open between them. She can’t put her finger on just what it is, or why, but suddenly Jamie is laughing, and Dani is grinning, and she knows the stalemate is at its end. It’s been too long a night. There’s just no point.

“Here,” she adds, settling at the edge of the bed, watching Jamie switch off the lights and creep closer as though trying not to startle a skittish animal. “I’ll lay right on the edge, you won’t even have to know I’m here--”

“Don’t be silly,” Jamie says. She hesitates; Dani wonders if she’s giving a final chance for Dani to shoo her away, to choose a night spent alone after all. She thumps the bedspread with a flat palm, staring meaningfully at Jamie until the mattress sinks beneath the weight of au pair and gardener alike.

“See?” she can’t stop herself saying. “We fit.”

Jamie stares at her, a lingering gaze Dani couldn’t decipher on her best day. She opts to ignore it, stretching out under the rumpled covers. Beside her, Jamie slides a hand beneath her head, staring up at the ceiling.

“Not so bad,” Dani says, wishing she could shut up, wishing she could stop thinking--about Jamie’s head on the pillow beside her, about Jamie’s scent sunk into this pillow, about the indent of Jamie’s body in this old mattress where maybe no one else has ever lain. Jamie makes a low sound in her chest.

“Long day.”

“So long.” Was it only this morning Dani was having a small panic attack, the strain of a new job on top of familiar guilt too heavy to bear? Was it only this afternoon she’d grabbed Jamie’s shoulder, pulled her back from storming off to skin Miles alive?

Was it really only this evening she’d stalked out after Peter Quint, crashed headlong into Jamie, listened to police officers warn them all away from the manor in a blackout?

Jamie clears her throat. Dani’s starting to think it’s a nervous habit--Jamie seems to do it only around her. Why on earth would I make her nervous? “Comfortable?” she asks the ceiling. Dani nods.

In the dark, the bed seems smaller. The pillows are touching, the blankets bridging the brief gap between Jamie’s right leg and Dani’s left. In the dark, Jamie’s breath is audible, the smell of rain and shampoo and clean clothes twisting together into a single knot.

In the dark, Dani thinks, they could be anyone. Not gardener and au pair, but anyone, bound by a single unpredictable night.

She wonders if they should talk--about Peter Quint, about the tension of the evening, about the kids, or the roses, or any number of little odd moments around the manor. She wonders if Jamie expects her to ask questions--who Quint is, what he was to Rebecca Jessel, what he might be doing skulking around the house.

She can’t quite find it in her. It’s too warm, too soft, the silence as inviting as the rustle of Jamie’s borrowed clothes against her skin. Laying in the dark, Jamie’s foot nearly touching her own, listening to the storm pound the windowpanes, Dani is breathing easier than she has in months.

“I’m glad,” she says quietly, “you’re here.”

Jamie’s head rustles the pillowcase, turning to look at her. “Yeah?”

Dani smiles. “Yeah. I can’t explain it, but I feel...safer.” Something sharpens behind her ribcage, something that begs her to add, With Hannah, with Owen, with the kids, too. She doesn’t. It’s true, but it’s also not really what she means.

“He doesn’t know where to find you,” Jamie says, and for a moment, Dani wonders how she could possibly be talking about Eddie. Then Jamie adds, “I hate that fucker. So does Owen. Everyone is safe tonight.”

Right. Peter Quint. Of course. “I’m glad,” Dani repeats. She feels the mattress shift as Jamie carefully settles in. “Jamie?”

“Mm?”

Too many things to say. Too many questions to ask. Too many of those butterflies winging around as Jamie’s elbow bumps her, as Jamie’s breath brushes her cheek. She shuts her eyes, the simple image of Jamie’s gaze inches away too much to handle.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, Poppins,” Jamie murmurs. And though Dani’s heart is racing, though her skin is hot, though the storm outside is brutal and Jamie’s bed is much smaller than she’d thought--she finds herself relaxing. Finds herself thoughtlessly shifting to a more comfortable position on her side. Finds herself, even, leaning in toward Jamie’s warmth as the sound of her breathing shallows.

For the first time in what feels like years, Dani Clayton sleeps.

#fanfiction #ficlet #the haunting of bly manor #dani x jamie #damie #clearly an AU all things considered--ghosts didn't feel like they suited this one

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kitsu-katsu · 3 years

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About revived (by Derivakat)

(Disclaimer: Nothing against Derivakat, I think her songs are amazing in general and she's very talented, I simply have a bone to pick with these lyrics and characterization)

So um, here's my counter to some of the lyrics because fuck it, I'm tired and fueled by spite, let's go:

Let's start with the chorus:

"White streak in my hair but no stress now" - Funnily incorrect, cc!Wilbur confirmed that the white hair is from stress itself, it's not about the revival process alone. Also just by reasoning, I cannot imagine what might have been stressful about spiralling and believing that the world is out to crush you, believing that you're the scum of the Earth as well, only to die, spend 13 and half years in dark isolation and then being jolted back up to life missing huge chunks of information, really cannot fathom how that might be stressful /s

"I've seen hell, but this is a bit more my style" - True you know? It's awesome that he's said that he's over the moon about being alive again after spending 13 and a half years of pure isolation in the dark, screming until his throat was hoarse. But coming from the tone of it, I'd like to point out that Wilbur's also still passively suicidal and self harms (check out the part under "He doesn't love TNT, he self-harms with it" in this post)

"A decade of time to make everything mine" (also counts for "This is my sunrise, this is my dawn, this is what I've waited for all along. All of this time, all this is mine. MINE. MINE. MINE!")- Honestly, based on what he's been doing, no prejudices, forget everything fandom's said: he doesn't really seem to want to "make everything his", does he? This perception mostly comes from him saying "This is my sunrise, this is mine!" in the original revival stream, however, if you forget about common fandom perception, what's so evilly framed about a guy who spent 13 and a half years of isolation in the dark saying "this is my sunrise!" after watching the sun coming up again for the first time since his death, in which he was extremely emotionally unstable? Like for real?

Now onto the verses:

"Am I the bad guy? I'll be the bad guy again" and "I've come back hell-bent" - Now, he has said that: “Here’s the thing, Tommy. I, I, I, I know I was bad, and I know I can redeem myself, but like, you know, there’s a little bit of fun in being bad, you know, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 11:31, 5th May), BUT, since then he's also expressed genuine remorse for his worse actions during Pogtopia (check out the parts under "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" and "Wilbur cares. A LOT" in this post), a wanting to redeem himself and truly become better and... uh... OH! He's also admitted that he's afraid he scares people and cried when Ranboo said that he was "an alright person". For real, just watch the Healthy Competition stream and read this reddit post by cc!Wilbur

The reddit post in question, just in case:

"You think I cared? It was always a means to an end" - So false. Just... so false. Ok, so quick one, let's review the actual lines said originally about him "not caring for L'manburg" in full:

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

So as you may see, he retracts himself immediately and explains his feelings with more nuance

Then, let's look at the more recent confession to Ranboo:

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

If this got more explicit I'd be literally hitting you over the head with it. Anyway, check out the parts under "Wilbur cared. A LOT" and "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with" in this post

"So who cares? So what? I'm not calming down" and "Shut up! And listen" - “Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

That line's totality gets often cut down, erasing the immediate apology after the loss of cool. Furthermore, I'd argue that him "not calming down" in general is mainly due to his euphoria and overexcitement during certain scenes where it makes complete sense for him to be feeling like that, and in a broader sense, he has a tendency to say things in the heat of the moment and out of impulsivity that he turns to later regret from all the way back at Pogtopia. Him not calming down now is either out of impulsivity or outright euphoria to be out of limbo, not necessarily an evil thing. And when he percieves he should calm down, he tries his best to do it, or apologizes for snapping

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times" and "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized" in this post)

"There's nothing wrong with me" - BUDDY. Wilbur drowns in self-hatred, what are you talking about? The man got caught off guard and cried when someone said "you're an alright person"... He's worried that he scares people, he knows how others see him on top of his own self-hatred

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

(Check out the parts under "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character" and "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character" in this post)

"Oh yes, I blew up the nation!" (said with glee) - I make a point of the tone in this specific line, because I could make a point of the tone in the whole song, but this line is a good example. He didn't blow up L'manburg just with glee like "hell yeah! I did it!". Of course he talks about it with pride sometimes, but it's usually either said in the middle of the same impulsive moments in which he'd claim he doesn't care, said with relief of him having control over at least that situation (like him sighing right after doing it just to ask Phil to finish it off by killing him), or said with the same deflection with which he'd claim that not having a grave didn't affect him and was badass actually since he only wanted it for the hateful obituaries anyway (which was a lie, and he admitted it on the third of august stream when saying "I was so pressed about not having a grave" in case you had doubts)

Finally, I want to make emphasis on the fact that: The explosion on the 16th had two main drives behind it and they often get glossed over. The first objectivee was blowing it up and causing just enough destruction to get L'manburg back (You know, when Wilbur still had some kind of hope). After his spiral went further and his paranoia and self-loathing worsened, his two drives become apparent: First was blowing it up to rid the world of the twisted thing L'manburg became, ridding the world of what the twisted version of his ideals became with Schlatt in control of them. Secondly, he wanted to end L'manburg as a part of himself and rid the world of himself completely (by this I'm referencing his suicide), he decided he wanted to die and expected that as a result since a lot of time before the 16th. The explosion was effectively a bigger projection of his suicide, rid the world of both himself and his creation, mixed with his constant desire to protect, it also becomes "rid the world of the corrupted version of L'manburg that became Manburg", because for all intents and purposes, since the important thing about L'manburg was its founding ideals, L'manburg had been dead for a long time at that point.

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times", "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with", and "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" in this post)

#tw self harm mention #tw suicide mention #wilbur #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #wilbur dsmp #revived #revivedbur #alivebur #revived wilbur #derivakat revived #fandom critical #dsmp #dream smp #analysis #c!wilbur analysis

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emmyhem · 3 years

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right where you left me (l.r.h)

a/n: hi everybody! so this is a bit of a longer one that is inspired by the song “right where you left me” by taylor swift on evermore. it’s one of my favorites by her because i love the writing and the concept. whether you’re a taylor fan or not i suggest reading and then listening to the song with the fic in mind, it makes the song hit extremely hard. also expect more taylor inspired stuff in the future because she’s one of my all time favorite artists. this one is sad but i live for the angst so what’re you gonna do? my calum piece, “everything you’re missing” should be up by the end of the week and i’m working hard on my very first michael and ashton pieces as well, which is really exciting. anyway i hope you all enjoy and are being safe (get vaccinated if you can!) once again my messages are always open and feedback/criticism is always appreciated. hugs and kisses to all, thanks - emmy <33

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader

summary: you met 20 year old luke hemmings in a coffee shop eight years ago and were sure your life had been decided. you once told him you’d wait for him until you were sure he was happier without you. you never thought that day would actually come.

warning(s): angst, cursing, alludes to possible infidelity, it’s a sad one so buckle in.

word count: 6.2k

Current time - December 14th

The familiar ring of the entrance bell pulled your attention from the worn book beneath your fingers to take a routine glance at the patrons rushing in from the early December chill. Mitten covered hands, and icy cold flushed cheeks entered one after the other. Your typical seat in the corner of the small cafe was shielded from the penetrating winds that accompanied each person in their entrance but you still shivered in sympathy at each new arrival.

Your steaming earl grey had faded into a tepid puddle at the bottom of your mug as the hours passed on the analog clock that adorned the brick wall in the front. Olive, a barista you had become friendly with over the years approached your table with the cafe’s winter speciality, an orange cranberry muffin in hand.

“Last one.” she said, sitting it on a pine green napkin in front of you.

You reached into your purse for a few spare bills to cover the cost when she stopped you by placing a hand on your forearm.

“On the house for our favorite customer.” her eyes were filled with pity as she nodded down to you, and you were too tired to feel embarrassed.

��Thanks, Liv.” you sighed.

“It’s my pleasure, besides I always feel like we’re robbing you when you pay full price, you only ever eat half anyway.” she added as she walked away.

You picked at the baked good, memories flooding your brain with each bite.

Eight years ago - December 14th

As you clutched your books with a death grip you cursed yourself for forgetting your gloves in your dorm. The wind was picking up and it wouldn’t be long until they were numb completely, and your sweater paws were less than effective in warming your frozen fingers.

A flickering red light glowed just a bit down the street and a sugary citrus aroma was pulling your stiff limbs towards it against the wind. The closer you got the more mouthwatering the smell became and soon enough you had reached the door, bracing yourself for the chill of the copper handle as you pulled it open.

Sweet, warm air enveloped you as you stepped inside. The red brick walls were chipped in more than a few places, red and green christmas lights twinkle from a tree in the corner, and the crackling of the fireplace was like music to your ears. You wondered how you had never noticed the quaint cafe before as you took your place in line behind a tall man wearing only a thin black hoodie and beanie for protection from the cold weather. As you got closer to him a piney scent cut through the sweet smell of pastries and you caught yourself leaning in to get a better whiff of its freshness.

Your eyes scanned over the menu that hung behind the cash register while he ordered and did your best to ignore the chill that ran up your spine when his soft aussie accent invaded your ears.

Once he finished and stepped off to the side to wait for his order you moved forward and placed your books on the counter.

“Hi, how can I help you today?” a young ginger barista with an abundance of freckles said.

“Hi,” you paused and located her name tag. “Olive, I’ve never been here before but there's this smell that-”

“Our orange cranberry muffins.” she interrupted pointing to a chalkboard in front of her that read, “Warm up with a wintery treat, try our famous orange cranberry muffin today!”

Your stomach growled quietly at the thought as you nodded.

“I would love one of those and...a medium early grey, please.” you replied, pulling a 10 dollar bill from your pocket.

“Sadly, we have just sold our last one to the customer in front of you.” she nodded to the enticing blonde man that had caught your attention earlier, who was now staring down at his black vans as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

You narrowed your eyes at the muffin thief when he glanced up at you innocently while accepting his coffee from another worker.

“We do still have our gingerbread and pumpkin muffins if you’d be interested in one of those instead.” Olive continued motioning a hand to the glass display of tasty treats to your right.

You let out a disappointed huff, “That’s okay, just the tea please.”

You paid for your order making sure to leave a few extra dollars in the tip jar before taking a seat on a worn burgundy couch near the fire to wait for your drink.

Leaning your head against your hand for support you allowed your eyes to drift closed and listen to the pops and crackles of the fire meshing with the soft holiday music echoing through the place. You only opened your eyes back up at the feeling of the couch dipping beside you.

Sitting too close to not acknowledge, was the boy from earlier who was now alternating sips of what smelled like a strong latte with bites of the muffin that could’ve been yours.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

His head snapped in your direction at the sound of your voice, and he finished chewing before responding.

“Doing what?”

“Taunting me with your stupid muffin.” you were aware of how childish you sounded but hunger had always brought out the irrational side of you.

“It’s actually quite delicious.” he smirked, ignoring your frustration.

You groaned in jealousy, “Don’t rub it in.”

Realization sparked in his eyes.

“Got the last one didn’t I?”

You nodded.

“M’happy to share.” he grinned, breaking off half and holding it out to you.

“No, really it’s fine. I’m just being annoying.” you waved him off.

“I’m not annoyed. Really, take it. I’d have to throw it away otherwise.”

Your eyebrows raised at his comment.

“I’m stuffed.” he explained, patting his stomach twice.

“I don’t believe you, but I’m starving and this smells incredible.” you responded, accepting the baked good.

You closed your eyes and let out a satisfied hum after biting into it.

“Holy shit, this is like the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

The boy watched you and laughed at every pleased noise that you released.

Once you had finished your half you turned back to see him still watching you, he had scooted even closer to you and your knees knocked together at your movement.

“Thank you, that was amazing. Although it was pretty rich I don’t think I could eat a whole one either.”

“Your welcome,” when he paused you realized you hadn’t even introduced yourself but still stole half of this guy’s muffin.

“I’m y/n.” you filled in.

“Luke.” he returned.

You nodded and repeated it, testing how it felt on your tongue.

“Thank you again, Luke.”

The two of you began talking about, school, work, music, your favorite movies, astrology, anything really. By the time you glanced up from the conversation the cafe was nearly empty and the fire in front of you had burnt out leaving a smoky debris hanging in the air.

“I think they’re closing.” you said while checking the time on your phone.

“Fuck, I’ve got a paper due tomorrow.”

“Sorry, I kept you back.” you apologized, both of you gathering your things as you talked.

“No, s’not your fault.” he dismissed as you both began to walk to the door.

Standing a few feet away from the exit you could already feel the nip that was permeating through the glass, it sent a chill through your spine making you wiggle your shoulders. As you stared at the floor over the books in your arms, trying to decide what the best way to ensure you would see Luke again was, you heard the buzz of a zipper. You lifted your head to see your new acquaintance removing his arms from the sleeves of his black hoodie.

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing out there.”

“I know, you’re shivering.” he answered, swinging the fabric behind your back until it dropped and wrapped around your shoulders. He pulled on the sleeves till they were hanging in place and you watched through your lashes, completely in awe of his concentrated expression.

“Luke, I can’t wear this you’ll freeze and I can’t just take your clothes.”

“C’mon of course y’can. I’m warm blooded. I'll be fine and you aren’t taking it. I’m gonna want to come in for one of those muffins tomorrow and you know I can’t eat the whole thing, so you’ll just have to be here to share with me. We meet, we eat, I retrieve my jacket, all is right in the world.” He smiled through his words, attempting to warm you up by rubbing his hands up and down your shoulders quickly. “Think you can do that?”

“I’m sure.”

“Excellent. Meet me here at 9:00 tomorrow.”

You nodded as he pushed the door open and despite him trying to act unaffected you could tell from his rigid stance he was freezing.

“I’m counting on you alright? Stay warm, y/n.” he reiterated through chattering teeth before exiting the shop.

Current Time - December 14th

When they talk about one moment defining your life it seems silly, and unrealistic. One day of your life is hardly even a blip so one minute defining everything seems completely ludacris. You would have never bought into it eight years ago, right up until Luke muttered those three words to you before braving the cold.

“Stay warm, y/n.”

He said it and you had one of those moments. One of those, “and then everything changed.” moments.

You had always been sure that your purpose would come to you later in life, maybe you’d have a spiritual awakening while in some foreign country. Maybe you’d read a book that would change your view on everything, or god forbid you’d have a close encounter with death and the epiphany would come then. You would’ve never guessed that a nearly missed encounter with the world’s best muffin and a lanky Australian guy would do it.

But here you were eight years after the encounter, your hair was longer, the crinkles that appear by your eyes when you smile now linger, and Luke was nowhere to be seen, but some things haven’t changed at all. A half eaten muffin, the comforting cafe, and your unwavering certainty that your life’s purpose was to love and to be loved by Luke Hemmings all remained.

Seven years ago - March 27th

The door swung open to a positively beaming Luke, he leaned in to press a swift kiss on your cheek before hurriedly pulling you inside.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” you questioned, taking notice of the subtle burnt smell in the air and the smoky atmosphere of his apartment.

He nodded excitedly pulling you by the hand into the kitchen where you were met with messy countertops packed full of lumpy and slightly charred muffins. Your mouth fell open and you turned to face your boyfriend who was smiling timidly at you, eyes scanning over your face.

“I made you our muffins.” he smiled, proudly looking at his work.

“Wha- how? How did you even get the recipe?”

“Olive helped me out.” He responded, taking a seat on one of the bar stools by the island.

“Lu, this is incredible. Thank you.” you praised, moving to stand between his legs.

“I hope they turned out good. Y’know baking is a lot harder than it looks.” he tutted while unwrapping one for you. “Open up.” he instructed, tapping your chin.

Your teeth struggled to bite through the dense baked good, and while your taste buds fought with the bitter crumbly substance you questioned whether Luke had actually followed any recipe at all because what you were eating tasted nothing like the warm, gooey, and tart treat that the two of you had come to love.

You chewed slowly to avoid swallowing and kept your face as neutral as possible.

“How is it? Good?” he spoke nervously and the little glint of hope in his eyes forced you to swallow it down and paint on a pleased smile.

“Mmm” you moaned “It's delicious, Luke.”

“Yeah?” he beamed.

“Really good.” you nodded, your eyes drifting longingly to the sink. In that moment you would’ve killed for a glass of water.

“Wow, I mean I thought they’d be alright but this is great. Lemme try.” he brought your muffin up to his mouth and in a panic you snatched it from his hands, squeaking out a small “No!” before shoving the rest of it in your mouth.

“Babe, there’s plenty, no need to be greedy.” he laughed while unwrapping another. And you really should’ve thought this through because with puffed out cheeks full of possibly the worst muffin in history you took a step back and watched him bite into one. His face twisted in disgust and he quickly spit what he had taken back into the wrapper.

When he looked back up to you, you were standing there with a full mouth and wide eyes. He cocked his head to the side in confusion, “You enjoyed that?”

The second you shrugged your shoulders, feigning innocence Luke burst into a sharp cackle, his legs kicking up into the air from the force of his laughter. You took that as an opportunity to run to the trash and rid yourself of the awful taste in your mouth.

Luke was still struggling to catch his breath while you finished pouring yourself a glass of water.

“It’s not funny, Lu.” you argued between sips.

“Why didn’t you just spit it out?” he chortled, beckoning you closer with grabby hands.

“Because, it was so sweet.” you reasoned.

“Really? I would argue it was more rancid than sweet.”

“Not the muffin you goon, the gesture.” you elaborated, smacking his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you ate the whole thing.”

“Shut up. I was trying to be nice.” you pouted.

“Hey,” he said, standing and opening his arms. “M’sorry I know.”

You waddled into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his back.

“I love you for that.” he sighed, before kissing the top of your head.

You froze in his hold, those three unexpected words echoing through your head.

“You what?”

His chest shook lightly as a laugh fell from his mouth.

“I love you.” he repeated. It was so nonchalant, as if he’d said it to you a hundred times before. “You alright with that?”

You nodded before pulling back just enough that you could see his face.

“I love you.” you returned.

Luke’s hands cupped your cheeks, a groan passing his lips before he pressed a soft kiss to your now pouty mouth.

“Say it again.” he pleaded into your mouth.

“I love you.” you sighed, chasing his lips with your own.

“And again, and again, and again…” he continued, rewarding you with one lingering peck for each declaration.

“Mmm” he hummed in content when he decided he was satisfied. “Never stop saying it.”

Current Time - December 14th

A whirlwind romance like the one that the two of you had shared was never meant to be sad. It was the kind of love that constantly feels like a cheesy montage full of sweet moments that happens at the end of a rom-com. Unsuccessful baking attempts, cozy study dates, spontaneous weekend trips, hundreds of shared muffins, piggy back rides home from the bar, that’s what made you Luke and y/n.

The two of you didn’t do well with the hard stuff and it worked because there just wasn’t any. Everything was easy and it felt good. It felt right.

It had never even occurred to you that the hard stuff was part of any great love, that inevitably one day things would get hard. It really hadn’t occurred to you that pushing through the hard stuff was something that Luke may not be up for. Because you were and you always had been, all in.

Six years ago - February 17th

You had gotten home late after a long shift at the library you worked at part time . Luke was sitting on the couch scribbling something in a notebook and taking tiny sips of his steaming cup of tea, too impatient to wait for it to cool properly.

You’d been listening to an audiobook while organizing the shelves that day and the somber tone of it had seriously dampened your mood. It also made you extremely grateful that you had Luke to cuddle away all your sorrows.

He had noticed your sad expression the second he saw you and was quick to pull you into his arms and press you for information.

“What happened baby?” he cooed as you nestled as close into him as physically possible.

“Sad book.” you mumbled into his chest.

“Aw, love you shouldn’t let that stuff get to you. S’not real, there’s no need to get upset.” This was something you had heard plenty of times before, seeing as you were an extremely emotional person and felt things strongly.

“It was so sad though, bubs.” You reasoned that talking through it with someone else might dull the ache that it had left on your taut heartstrings. You explained the whole plot, how the couple had met on a plane and spent their two separate vacations together and along the way fallen in love. Luke would hum or nod every so often indicating he was listening but you knew most of his focus was on the fact that you were tearing up through your explanation. He let his lips rest along your hairline as you got to the climax of the story, speaking through cracks in your voice to tell him that they had lost each other’s numbers on their way back and while the woman was able to move on and find love later in life, the man waited at the airport for years hoping that one day he would see her again.

Luke’s hand ran through your hair while your head rested on his chest.

“I don’t think there’s anything romantic about it. It’s just sad.” he concluded.

“I disagree.”

“Really?”

“I’d wait for you.” you confirmed, running your fingers over the fabric of his shirt.

“Not forever though,” he added.

“I’d wait until I knew you were happier without me.”

“Yea, me too.” he agreed.

“I’d never be happier without you.”

Current Time - December 14th

One thing that you never doubted in your relationship was whether or not Luke loved you. You knew he did. It was something that had always been casual between the two of you, it was as much a greeting as it was anything else.

As the sun rose and broke through your curtains the words to break the silence that lingered from the night before wasn’t “Good morning” it was “I love you.” Before leaving for work instead of an impersonal “Bye!” you shouted “Love you!” through the closing door of your apartment. It was a phrase that had been repeated millions of times, and despite the casualness of it all, it never lost its meaning.

Even now, five years since you’d last seen him you knew with every bone in your body that no matter where he was right now, half the world away or two blocks downtown, he still loved you.

Luke always kept his promises, a million times he had promised that he would always love you. And a million times you had promised it right back.

A hundred years apart wouldn’t change that, let alone five.

Five years ago - December 13th

You watched the snow fall from the living room window, what you would normally find peaceful was making you go insane. It had been perpetually silent around your apartment for the past couple of weeks. Luke was hardly ever home, when asked he would tell you that he had a big project at work and needed to teach the new intern how things were done in the office. You hadn’t thought much of it, there were times when you were busy and had to put things with him on the back burner to focus on the uncertainty of work. It had never been an issue because as far as you were concerned things were set between you and Luke. There was the unspoken promise of forever.

Of course, that didn’t stop you from missing him tons. On this specific occasion the cold weather had left you with clogged sinuses and a bad headache, one that you would typically soothe with a cup of earl grey from the cafe and an abundance of snuggling. Since Luke wasn’t around to fulfill your touch deprivation you decided that wearing one of his favorite sweatshirts would have to do for now.

You blindly reached into his drawer to search for it but stopped when your hand caught on a folded piece of paper. You pulled it out and walked to the bed, flicking on the lamp as you sat. Once the light turned on you were able to see it clear as day, two airline tickets to Sydney departing on the 20th and returning on January 3rd. The two of you had briefly discussed travelling to Australia at some point so you could finally meet his family but nothing had ever been confirmed.

The naivety that had always been a part of who you were began to connect non-existent dots with hopeful lines. Luke was planning on surprising you with Christmas in Australia with his family. It explained why he was never home, it also explained the secretive phone calls you had started picking up on after he scurried out of bed in the middle of the night a while ago to speak to someone in hushed tones just outside the bedroom door.

That night when he finally got home at nearly eleven you had made sure to leave half a muffin with a note that read, “Miss you, stud muffin. You work too hard. Love you -y/n” on the kitchen counter. From where you laid in bed, you could hear him laugh as he read it aloud. You quickly sat up in bed when the laughs you were reveling in started to sound like sobs.

The dim lighting in the kitchen didn’t stop you from seeing the tears on Luke’s face as he looked up to where you stood, stunned in the hallway.

“What’s wrong?” you hurried to him.

He made a sniffing sound before gathering you in his arms. He held you so tight that if it wasn’t so sincere it might’ve hurt.

“Lu, what’s going on.” you squeaked out.

He tightened his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your hair, emitting soft cries every so often.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I know. I love you too.”

“I swear I’ll always love you. I swear.”

“I know. Hey, Lu I know.” you soothed as his breaths became more labored.

At some point you had managed to calm him down and coax him into bed, you reasoned that he was just so tired that his feelings got the best of him, something that had happened to you many times before. And honestly you were just happy to be back in his arms once again, so when he was wrapped around you in bed, his hands playing with your hair like they always did when he got anxious, you didn’t think twice about it when he said,

“We need to talk tomorrow, over breakfast. We can go to the café if you want?”

You nodded against his chest as sleep overtook you, the last thing you heard being “I promise I’ll always love you.”

Current Time - December 14th

Your reminiscing was interrupted by a high pitched screech from the front of the cafe. When you followed the sound your eyes landed upon a distressed toddler, about three years old if you to guess, who was pouting up at a tall, gorgeous woman that was apologizing profusely to Olive for her son’s outbreak. You wouldn’t have looked twice at the scene if it wasn’t for the way Olive’s troubled expression and wide eyes were directed precisely on you.

The child was screaming through his cries “I want daddy’s muffin!” His face was red and blotchy from tears and the cold weather but didn’t completely overtake his creamy skin tone that complimented his familiar blue eyes. He was an adorable kid, a full head of blonde ringlets and chubby cheeks that you were sure turned a light pink when he smiled.

He kind of reminded you of Luke. When the thought entered your head you were quick to dismiss it though, because if you were being honest most things reminded you of Luke.

“I’m so sorry about this. He isn’t normally so loud, it’s just that my husband loves these muffins and he promised Sammy one.” you heard the gorgeous woman say.

“It’s fine, the cranberry orange muffin is a big hit around here. They sell out almost everyday.” Olive responded, her eyes unbreaking from yours.

“Yea that’s what Luke always tells me.”

Five years ago - December 14th

The walk to the café felt longer than it typically did and you had no idea why, for some reason you didn’t notice that Luke was dragging his feet. Maybe it was because you were sure that this impromptu breakfast date was to tell you of the surprise Christmas trip to Australia. Maybe it was because any amount of extra time you got to spend holding Luke’s hand in your own you considered a gift.

When you finally arrived you were quick to usher him to your favorite table, one that was secluded in the corner, enough to have a bit of privacy but also allowed you to people watch on slow days and have telepathic conversations with Olive from across the room.

You noticed that Luke wasn’t eating after a few minutes, his muffin half sat untouched in front of him and his nervous demeanor was driving you crazy.

“I have to admit something.” you finally said, tired of the silence.

Luke nodded for you to continue but refused to meet your eyes as you spoke.

“I know about Australia, I found the tickets in your drawer so if that’s what you're so nervous about, there’s no need. Of course I’ll go with you, you have no idea how excited I am to meet your mom, she can finally show me all those baby pictures that she’s always telling me about.” you were so busy picturing your potential trip to Luke’s hometown that you didn’t notice Luke’s teared up eyes and anxious tapping.

“Y/n, the tickets aren’t for-” he cut himself off before the approaching crack in his voice could prevail. “I met someone.”

“Okay?”

You didn’t even know what that meant, he met someone? You met people all the time, what does that have to do with the trip? You lifted your mug to take a sip while you waited for him to continue.

“I mean I-I have feelings for someone, uh someone else.”

You didn’t even feel your grip release, you didn’t hear the shattering noise, you didn’t feel the scorching liquid seep through your top onto your skin.

Luke was leaving you. He fell in love with someone else. It was serious enough that he was bringing her home. Luke was leaving you. Luke was leaving you. Luke was leaving you.

“I don’t understand.” The crying had already begun, and although it didn’t surprise Luke he couldn’t bear to watch it. He stared at the spilled tea and shards of glass. The entire cafe’s eyes were on you and you didn’t even notice all you could see was that Luke’s weren’t.

“Look at me.” you pleaded. There was a time when he would’ve seen your face, seen how distressed you were and gone back on everything solely because it hurt him too much to see you hurt.

When did that stop? Why hadn’t you noticed?

“I love you y/n, really I do. But I love her too.”

“You love her more.” you didn’t even try to phrase it as a question, there was no point, you already knew the answer. He must’ve loved her more because he was leaving you for her. Luke was leaving you.

Your acknowledgement of his feelings didn’t make it hurt any less when he didn’t deny it. Luke was leaving you.

You sat in silence for at least five minutes, it felt like years. Luke watched you cry, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms, and sway you back and forth until you stopped. He wouldn’t do that because it was selfish, it would ease his troubles more than yours, he deserved to see how his hurtful actions affected the one he swore to shield from any and all pain.

“I’ll have everything out of the apartment by the end of the week.”

The end of the week? You had planned on spending the rest of your life with him and he was telling you that he would essentially be out of your life by the end of the week. Luke was leaving you. None of it felt real.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I love you.”

Watching him leave felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything but your blood pumping, you hardly took any notice when Olive rushed to your table and pulled you into her embrace.

Luke left you.

Current time - December 14th

You could feel his presence as soon as he stumbled out of the bathroom.

How could you have missed him coming in?

You dragged your eyes up his body from his feet, and when they fell upon his face it was like someone had pressed play after fast forwarding through the years that had been taken from you. You weren’t 23 anymore, and Luke certainly wasn’t either. He’d always had a strong build, but he held himself differently now. He was confident and collected, very sure of himself. He had a bit of scruff lining his jaw but you could tell it was well kept and intentional and a pair of black rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. You reacquainted yourself with his appearance from your spot in the corner.

With each subtle change you catalogued in your brain, vivid images danced through your head, like a kaleidoscope of what could’ve been. You saw lazy Sunday mornings on the couch leisurely sipping coffee, the open windows next to you bringing in a sweet breeze making the house smell like fresh grass after it rains. You saw yourself pushing a stroller through a park, Luke chasing behind one of your little ones just a few feet ahead. You saw roadtrips, vacations, theme parks, crowded family dinners, trick or treating, white gowns, and wedding cakes. You saw binkies, and bottles, tangled sheets, ruffled hair, pecks on the forehead, lunch boxes, and I love you notes.

The last scene you saw, one that felt so real you could’ve sworn you were really there, started with Luke sitting on the floor surrounded in wrapping paper a toddler curled up in his lap. He wore flannel pajama pants and a ratty shirt he had purchased at the concert you went to for your third date. He took sips from his mug of lukewarm coffee every so often, and you were sure if you got close enough you’d be able to smell it on his breath, not that you would mind. His curls were grown out more than he typically liked them, they were messy from sleep and obstructing his vision slightly. Just as you reached out to brush them from his forehead, it was like you had been thrown backwards by a force strong enough to make your stomach drop.

Reality.

You could still see Luke from where you stood but he was so far away now. You reached your hand out again, gasping in shock when it hit a sheet of glass, you knocked against it firmly but nothing happened. It was like a window where you watched the scene unfold. A woman you had been in the same position as not seconds ago stood up and revealed her face. It was his wife, she handed Luke a small gift bag and waited patiently as he opened it. He acknowledged the gift, a framed photo of the two of them and leaned forward to press a thank you kiss to her lips.

“Stop!” you called.

No one can hear you.

“Luke, I’m right here.” you yelled, slamming an open hand to the glass.

Hot tears fell from your cheeks as you continued to knock and shout.

“Lu, please.”

As he pulled away from the kiss a grin plastered his face. And it hit you, he was happy. He really was happy.

Realization of the thing you dreaded the most in the world happened quickly, but not painlessly. Luke’s eyes flicked to your own, he saw you through the window. He saw you calling for him, crying for him, begging for him. He saw you and then he looked away.

And reality snapped you back yet again, right into the present moment. You were in your café, staring at your empty mug, your face felt hot and wet. When had you started to cry? You reached a shaky hand out for a napkin to wipe your tears, but ended up knocking the mini poinsettia pot in front of you over instead. A crash echoed through the café and everyone turned their attention to you and your frantic demeanor. Everyone, even Luke.

You forced your eyes up from the glass that sat shattered on the white tablecloth with slow movements and shallow breaths until they finally found the culprit, the reason for your pain. You could see right through the light blue of his eyes, shock and bittersweet nostalgia pooled in the cerulean waves.

Just like you were suddenly 29 and hurt when you saw Luke. He was suddenly 20 and enamored when he saw you.

He physically winced while taking notice of the black streaks that cascaded down your cheeks. It reminded him of leaving you. It was all his fault.

He met your gaze with a desperate one of his own, silently praying that you could still read him well enough to understand.

His eyes released unspoken declarations with every slow blink.

I can’t believe I’m seeing you. I miss you. I still love you. I’ll always love you.

You can’t be here right now. I’m with my family. I’m happy now. I’m happy without you.

Every silent, stabbing confession all summed up into one that you had been afraid of for the entire eight years that Luke Hemmings had stolen from you.

I love you, but somehow that stopped being enough.

The place was silent. All eyes on you.

“I’m so sorry.”

You weren’t quite sure who you were apologizing to or what for, it could’ve been to Olive for making yet another mess that she would end up cleaning. It could’ve been to all the customers you disrupted when you broke the flower pot. Or Luke’s son who you had stolen a muffin from. Or maybe his wife, that you had been demonizing in your head for years, seeing her only as the woman who stole the love of your life. It could’ve been to Luke, you were sorry you hadn’t taken him seriously, he was in love and he had a family and you were still waiting around for the day he decided to come back for you. The day that would never come.

Deep down though, you knew you were saying it to yourself. Eight years is a long time, you had stopped living for yourself a long time ago. You did miss Luke, of course you did but maybe part of the hole in your chest that you had been so desperately trying to fill, was yourself. You really missed you. You without Luke. How could you have forgotten about her?

“I have to go.” this time you knew exactly who you were talking to and as your feet carried you to the door you didn’t even contemplate turning around when Luke’s voice broke through the silence of the café to say,

“Y/n, wait!”

You kept walking, past the stunned patrons, past Olive, past Luke. You kept walking until you were sure that no one would catch up. You just kept walking because after all this time you were so done waiting.

#luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings imagine #5sos imagine #5sos one shot #5sos imagines #luke 5sos #5sos one shots #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings drabble #luke hemmings one shots #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x fem!reader #luke hemmings angst #luke hemmings au

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anunvalidcritic · 3 years

Text

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad.

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement.

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think.

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son.

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight

The burger can’t be that good like damn.

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!?

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one.

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree.

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back.

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

“There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all

PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done.

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me.

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on.

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams.

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others.

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”.

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence.

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows.

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up.

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Text

Dear new friend,

I just finished reading your messages. First of all, thank you. I think I would have been less traumatized out here if a lot of people took to sharing their thoughts on matters such as these in the manner in which you do.

I think I set myself up too because I be wanting to participate in certain topics and discussions and so often I find myself trying to sieve through the vitriol and pejoratives.

The gender of the word is feminine not masculine. I don’t see how that is misinformation.

"Sorry, the misinformation bit was because I was thinking about that tweet that went viral about this word being used only for woman. The person said it was an adjective, and you said it was an adjective, so I thought you were basing this information on that tweet. That day was crazy, some people spread this, wanted to change his pronouns, trend a hashtag and were saying he had came out... This was too much. And the "debunked" thing was about this tweet, as well. Not about the words being feminine and masculine. That's a fact, you're right."

I had no idea a tweet went viral like that claiming he wanted to change his pronouns. That's wild and I disagree. Lol. I think I've always maintained he uses He/him pronouns and said time and again I do not think he wants to be emasculated at all. As I said, that would have made him transgender not bigender and thus defeat the purpose. To be bigender he has to be two genders at the same time not one.

But I have been following the discussions on this topic on the bird app and I try my best to bring nuance to certain discussions. I try. Lol.

I take note of the differences between your language and Latin as you rightly pointed out. But I also do see the similarities and I think the explanation you gave and the examples you provided gives me a better understanding of the language structure.

"Yeah, totally fine hahah We tend to interpret things according to our own experiences; for me, a gendered word is part of my daily life, normal, and I don't bat an eye about it. Is just a word, the importance is in its meaning ─ and it suits filter SOOO well. For you, it's something more. At the end of the day, art is here to be interpreted, and if Jimin doesn't explicitly explain the filter performance, tattoos, set, outfits... It's open for interpretation. (And I'm not a person that tries to find hidden meanings. I simply enjoy what I enjoy. I have this thing about being as accurate as possible, so I try to stick to facts (like: I don't feel comfortable saying he chose these words, because I don't know if HE was the person that chose it (in the sense that he was the one that bring it up to the staff/company). Maybe someone else showed it to him and he was like: "Nice! I want it!". But I feel okay saying he's had a tattoo with these words (A fact). Also I don't make a big deal of most things ─ for me Jimin is Jimin and I'm supporting him regardless, he's precious)

(But Memories 2020 is coming and I'm almost sure they are going to show filter behind the scenes!!!! So we're going to understand better this masterpiece (I HOPE SO))

I understand what you mean. Some people are inclined towards taking the literal meaning of texts or in this case art and not read much into situations beyond what is presented at face value- not me🤣🤣🤣🤣

I do the magnifying glass and errthang👁

I think humans are complex and there's always a possibility of a psychological and or pathological stimulus underscoring their behaviors, choices and actions in most cases.

But that aside, I think it's easier to take a heteronormative view on things sometimes because cis straight has always been the norm even in appreciating art- but truth is, coding and co opting codified expressions is almost always part of queer culture and behavior too. If any other queer celebrity had used that expression, I would be reading much into it too beyond its semantics.

For me it's simple, would I be reading too too much into the language and art choice of someone I thought was cis straight? Hell No. Straight is boring and blunt as fuck.

Unless of course they were being intentionally witty or secretive about something, I'd assume and expect their expressions to be pretty much straight forward- generally. I went home to be would mean just that.

If I sensed the author were queer coding Home would mean something else entirely to be. Home becomes a symbol not a word. And if he chose to write that in Latin and not the language they spoke naturally, I'd assume there's something about that language that he likes and perhaps uses to code a queer message.

For closeted queer people who live in a world where they are constantly coerced to take on a duality and have an expressional alter egos- two identical identities with one being the facade and pretense through which they openly and largely perform normalcy of self, the other being their real self which they tuck away because it is inconsistent with the acceptable norms- I'd a take a very different approach to their art. But that's me.

If a straight person said they needed escape, it would mean something totally different to me than say if a queer person said they needed escape. Because those two are escaping two very different things.

For example, the words Moon and moonlight used by a straight person means nothing to me- perhaps because I just don't care much to look for its deeper meaning beyond the literal meaning of the words as presented. If it appears in a queer person's parlance, even if in passing, I assume immediately they are referencing something much more deeper, meaningful and coded.

Queer coding is a thing you know? And it's born out of necessity not choice sometimes.

Take for instance BTS's proclivity to 'queer codify' their music. Moon and moonlight has become symbolic of the inner struggles of a queer person amongst black 'educated' queer men and women. It's come to symbolize cultural norms and expectations and how those affect queer people- perhaps of all race.

In the Movie Moonlight, which has become the epitome of queer black struggles and desires for liberation, this motif was used to represent the struggles of a black boy dealing with the pressures of a hyper masculine society.

When RM references this in 4 Oclock, 'the whole world is blue under the moonlight' is he queer coding or just appropraiting queer parlance as buzz word? That expression takes on a whole new meaning were he queer. Blue symbolizes queerness- a theory popularized of course by the Film. When V who once wrote an allegedly 'queer coded song' Stigma says he is blue- what does he mean now? On the surface blue means blue. Would you take a straightforward view on this or assume its symbolic? And what is it symbolic of?? Sadness?? Gayness?

If RM had an accompanying tattoo as compliment to the song in his performance that evoked similar sentiments or hinted at a possible second meaning I wouldn't assume that that tattoo meant nothing or that it didn't have a deeper meaning behind it.

It's just as how Lil Nas X posted a city of rainbows and people said 'rainbows are rainbows. Y'all shouldn't read much into it.' But for queer people that was pretty much a declaration of his sexuality.

Later he had to post again and reiterate that that rainbow post was his coming out moment. 'I thought I made it obvious.'

Somethings are pretty much obvious.

For JM who don't speak Latin- unless he is secretly fluent in which case my bad- I don't think he cares so much about the grammar of the language beyond it's meaning. And perhaps gender? Grammatical gender I mean. That's just because the first thing you learn about Latin is that all the nouns are gendered?

I won't lie. When I first learned that I was supper fascinated about grammatical gender and why speakers of the language felt a need to gender every word of the language.

In the end, we all don't know. I'm out here convinced two Asian men are so gay they can't straight to save their asses. I have a tendency to view everything they do through queer lens. If they are not gay I'm pretty much gaslighting them you know?

I'm always fascinated by different point of views on a myriad of subjects. Just as you said, our diverse experiences inform our experiences and perspectives. I just hope people acknowledge how their straightness informs their understanding of queerness too and how that has a tendency to be invalidating and dismissive of queer issues and experiences.

But to me it's like, if Jikook are gay why do you have to interpret what they do through straight lens?

Personally, I wouldn't interpret straight through queer lens and force that view on to straight people. That would be homonormative? Assuming rainbow means straight people are gay when they are not, moon means feminine to straight men, that the use of the word God makes one a Christian- that's just silly and bizarre.

I use Namaste often and suddenly some people here think I'm Indian. I wish. They have one hell of a culture.

When I was reading through your messages, all that kept playing in my head was- that's a very 'straight' view on the matter. Lol. Please tell me you got the pun. Lol.

I think my opinion will remain the same on the matter if you placed any queer person in Jimin's stead. Any queer person that I believed was queer and had hinted a few times at exploring a dual identity or going through that phase at least.

I think I'd enjoy your blog if you had one.

I love love the lesson on Italian or is it Spanish?

Also, I would love your take on V and Stigma. A lot of queer stans have a queer reading of the lyrics- I see the appeal however I don't have a queer reading of it at all. Thoughts??

Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY

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royallyprincesslilly · 3 years

Text

Kismet {10}

Henry Cavill x Famous OFC Aliya Taylor

Warning: Slow Burn, Mild Cursing, Dialogue Heavy, Small Time Jump, Mild Angst

Words: 5.8k

Summary: Aliya is a singer turned model turned actress. Since she was fifteen, she’s been creating her empire in the entertainment world. As the daughter of a famous fashion model/designer and Hollywood director, you’d think life is easy for her, but her past has been anything but easy. Due to past trauma, she’s forever changed and no longer trusts any man that is not in her family and a select few in her team. She’s sworn off love and serious relationships and has planned never to fall again, but love isn’t something that can be planned. It just happens when it’s meant to. Can Aliya outrun a love that seems hellbent on holding tight to her, a love that is Kismet?

Note: The chapter includes some French. I’ve added the translations best I could. Some from memory, but some from Google translate. If the translations are off, I apologize.

If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!! 😘

As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

It didn’t take long for you to realize you’d either offended him or hurt his feelings. It was clear from how stiff he was when he walked away from you. Everything about him was different. You’d wanted to call after him or chase him down the street to explain, but something kept your feet planted right where they were. What made you feel worse was that he didn’t switch up. He still called you to say good morning and wish you a safe flight again the next morning. When you’d landed back in LA, he’d picked up your call on the second ring. He didn’t speak like a man with a grudge or chip on his shoulder. He was the same, Henry.

Over the next few days, he kept the same energy and consistency. It was something you didn’t expect, but it was something refreshing. You thought about him more and more, and every conversation you had, you wanted to apologize for your stark reaction, but every time you opened your mouth to, the right words never seemed to form. It also didn’t take you long to notice that he wasn’t asking again. You doubted he ever would.

As the days ticked off and his departure date grew nearer and nearer, you could sense the disappointment in him, and that disappointment came across more and more like hurt. With each passing day, you felt more of an urgency in you that you couldn’t understand. You felt as if your time was dwindling, and you only had so much time to do what was right even though you didn’t know what that was. The day he called to let you know he was about to board his flight, you sat in your living room you wished him safe travels, then hung up, which left you just staring out for hours, wondering how big of a mistake you’d made.

“What’s up with you?”

Alicia’s voice beside you brought you out of your daze. You groaned, then dropped your head back onto the couch.

“Henry asked me to go on vacation with him,” you blurted out, unable to hold it in anymore.

It had been six days since your time together in London, and you hadn’t been able to get it off your mind or tell anyone. When Alicia didn’t respond right away, you looked to her to find a confused expression on her face.

“Confused.”

You groaned again then explained everything that happened in London to her. The only things you left out were the butterflies in your belly the entire night, the feeling of breathlessness every time he came close, the strong urge to touch him any and everywhere, and your impulses that went against everything you’d stood for the last few years. So all in all, you told her everything.

The huge smile on Alicia’s face was expected. You rolled your eyes. “Stop smiling.”

“Okay.”

Her smile remained pasted to her lips, and it was growing with every second. Annoyance flared up in you.

“Stop!”

“I can’t!”

She began giggling.

“You like him, like really, really like him,” Alicia accused, right on the money.

“I do,” your let slip without thought. “I don’t know why or how. I’ve known him maybe two months tops, and we’ve only been out four or five times. I know nothing about him, nothing at all. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know if I like him or his looks and body,” you blurted as each revelation came to mind.

“Oh, you definitely like his looks and body, but I think this is something different, something you’ve never experienced before,” Alicia revealed.

You rolled your eyes again, then stared at the ceiling. She made perfect sense, you thought.

“You’ve heard about love at first sight.”

You sprang up looking at her like she was bat shit crazy.

“Bite your heathenous tongue.”

Alicia busted out laughing then. You remained silent. This was no laughing matter. Especially when the “L” word was waved around willy nilly.

“Oh god, that was not funny,” you said.

“Stop being so dramatic. Look, I know neither of us has ever experienced it; hell, I said it was a fucking bullshit, but--.”

“Don’t Leece,” you cautioned, not ready to remotely go anywhere near that landmine.

“Okay, look,” she began scooting closer to you. “This is what I know. You have these ridiculous rules.”

You glared at her, but she didn’t back down. Before she opened her mouth to speak again, you stood and walked off toward the kitchen, knowing she’d follow. Once in the kitchen, you dug in the fridge for a can of ginger ale, hoping it would settle your stomach, and like clockwork, Alicia reached in also to retrieve one for herself. As she opened the can and took a seat at the island, she continued.

“So your ridiculous rules. I know they’ve kept assholes away this long and has made it possible for you to keep your head above water. I get it, and I’m all for self-perseverance. You know I am. But--,” she smacked her lips as if she was getting ready to tell you off.

“Your rules—honey--,” she sighed. “They’re bullshit, and they are keeping you from developing something substantial, something real, something—true. Now I get that was the point in them in the first place. However, Mr. Blue eyes and British accent,” she finished reading you like an open book.

You gulped the soda, ignoring the burn of the acid on your tongue. It was a trick for the brain. Give it something else to focus on, so you got a moment of quiet. It always worked, but it was only temporary. When you lowered the can, you hissed.

“Fuck!”

“I like him. Amaya likes him. I don’t think he has ulterior motives, and I’m an excellent judge of character. I never liked Evan for a reason.”

You scoffed and closed your eyes, trying to get your brain to quiet down.

“So what do I do?”

“You know what to do. Lucky for you, it’s what you really wanna do anyway.”

“He’s on vacation,” you said.

“Yep, he’s on vacation,” Alicia reiterated.

“I don’t know where.”

“It’s a good and lucky thing you’re a member of a royal family no matter how much you like to denounce it. You can find him.”

A lightbulb went off in your head and giving you your big ah-ha moment. You ran out of the kitchen to the living room where you’d left your phone. You sat then debated what you were about to do. You’d never gone to lengths like this for anyone. It took almost two minutes for you to make the call, and as you did, you wondered if this was a little wrong. It took two minutes to make the call and another two minutes before you had the information you needed. Once you ended the call, Leece was sitting on the arm of the couch with an expectant look on her face.

“So, where is he?”

“Bandol, France,” you answered.

“Ooh, so luxurious. Go get him.”

You stood then hugged her. You didn’t know how she wasn’t tired of your ass after all the years of knowing you and being the one to talk you down off your ledges or up on your horse.

“Do me a favor, best friend.”

“What?”

“Turn him black, so he never goes back!”

You snorted so hard that it hurt. Your laugh was so powerful that your stomach hurt after just seconds.

“Shut up, oh my god.”

For the next hour or so, Alicia helped you pack while you made the call to your manager to let him know you were planning to take some time off. When you said the words, he even laughed, finding it hard to believe you. It took some convincing to let him know you were serious, but once he got it, he was quick to help, saying you needed a vacation. Turns out he’d been trying to find the right time to bring it up. You had a quick meeting where he assured you he’d tie off all your loose ends for the next two weeks to start. By the end of the call, you were halfway to the airport to get to your waiting private plane.

Nervousness was the least of what you felt. Anxiousness, fear, doubt, and nauseousness were right up there. After an hour in the air, it had only grown. You kept worrying if you were doing the right thing or if he’d think you were absolutely insane to fly across the world without a technical invitation. The more you thought about it, the more you doubted what you were doing.

By the time you landed in France, your nerves had pretty much mellowed out, for the most part. The beautiful scenery alone should have worked to calm you and give you a sense that you were on vacation, but it didn’t. Using the email you’d gotten from the family’s security services, you gave the taxi driver the address to where Henry was. As you drove through the town, you marveled at the views and tried to enjoy the warm breeze. When the car stopped in front of an impressive villa, your jaw dropped. He sure didn’t go low key, you thought.

“Mademoiselle Mlle serait -vous que je apporter vos sacs à l'intérieur? {Miss, would you like me to bring your bags inside?}

You contemplated Pierre, the driver’s question for a few seconds.

“Eh bien, ce n'est pas chez moi, si je le faisais, je serais trespassing. {Well this is not my home and if I did that it would be trespassing.}

That realization had you making a face that said you knew it was questionable.

“Comme un homme que je ne serais pas fâché de trouver un ange comme toi-même dans ma maison. {As a man I would not be angry to find an angel such as you in my home}, he said with a wide grin.

Such a sweet talker, you thought as you laughed. I smile.

“Voilà monsieur douce. Je vais attendre ici. {That is sweet sir, but I will wait here}

“Ici, sur les étapes ? Seul? {Here, on the steps. Alone?}

He sounded like it was something he’d never heard of. You got out of the car then looked around for the best spot to sit and wait.

Oui, je vais bien. Merci de votre aide. {Yes, I will be fine, thank you for your help.}

Pierre came around the car then opened the trunk to take your bags out. One by one, he brought them to the steps of the villa. Once he finished, you dug into your purse and handed him four hundred dollar bills, and pressed them into his palm. He looked shocked but appreciative. After thanking him, he drove off, leaving you there with the seaside cliff view as your company.

You texted Alicia and Amaya, letting them know you’d gotten there but knew they probably wouldn’t see it right away, thanks to the time difference. You sat for a few minutes only to get up and pace back and forth for another few minutes. Then you switched and did it over and over. Your brain made it feel like it was an eternity that passed, but you knew that couldn’t have been true. You heard a motorcycle approaching and watched as a silverish white one pulled up. You couldn’t tell if it were him, but you had a feeling it was. Once he’d turned the engine off, his movements slowed, and you knew he’d seen you.

He threw his large leg over the bike then peeled off his helmet, revealing curly hair and a scruffy beard. You gulped. That’s how damn good he looked.

“Damn.”

Henry approached you with a confused but cautious look on his face. It did nothing to assure you that you hadn’t made a colossal mistake. Unable to hold his gaze, you looked over what he wore, preppy sky blue shorts and a white polo shirt that was unbuttoned, showing off sprigs of chest hair. You’d imagined he had chest hair, and this was your answer.

“Aliya?”

“H—hi,” you stuttered.

Henry looked around like he was wondering how the hell you got there.

“What’re you doing here?”

“In France?”

“On my doorsteps,” Henry clarified.

“Oh, um—right. I can see how this would—look. Strange, alarming even. I promise there is an explanation.”

Nervousness overtook you, making you giggle. Henry stood there patiently waiting for said explanation, but the look of bewilderment didn’t go away.

“How did you know where I was, first of all?”

Damn it, you thought, trying to find your voice. “Eh-em, well—I called in a favor and—had your cellphone tracked.

His eyes widened, and you braced yourself for the freak-out you suspected was coming.

“What!?”

With your face scrunched, you decided to face it head-on and nodded. “Yeah. Saying that out loud now, I can understand how it sounds and even how it looks.”

“So, you know people who will just track a phone?”

Uh-oh, you thought, trying to find an answer that wouldn’t give anything away.

“I do,” you slowly answered.

Henry stared at you, and you knew he was weighing his options on whether to call the cops to get your ass out of there or listen to more. It was hard to read him, harder than it had been the last few times you'd been together.

“You’re freaking out. Look, I’m not crazy; I promise I’m not. I just—I had to find you.”

“Why? You made yourself perfectly clear a week ago,” Henry threw in your face.

“I did,” you began, groaning from exhaustion. You sat down on one of the steps and sighed.

“God, I have lived with a set of rules for the last three years. These rules have helped me tremendously. They’ve helped me keep people at arm’s length and have helped me protect myself from everyone, whether they meant ill or good. I’ve lived with these rules and have never broken any of them—not one. Then here you come.”

You dropped your head into your hands and released a heavy breath before you continued.

“Here you come, and within less than a month, I’d broken three, and that alarmed the shit out of me. I wasn’t prepared and didn’t know how to deal with it. Then you go asking me to go away on vacation with you and—that would have broken another rule, and that would have led to me breaking all of them on this vacation,” you blurted out.

Henry stood there, staring at you with yet another unreadable expression plastered across his face. Your head said shut up, but your lips kept moving.

“I couldn’t accept, then this last week I realized that I didn’t want to be anywhere but here—on this vacation—with you, and if it meant breaking another rule, then it would be broken. So here I am.”

Henry sighed, “What are these rules?”

Uh-oh, you thought again. You were sure after you told him he’d run for the hills. Even Amaya and Alicia made fun of your neurotic ass because of these obsessive rules. You chewed your bottom lip, reluctant to voice them. Henry didn’t look to be in any hurry, though; he just waited.

Realizing he still hadn’t kicked your ass to the proverbial curb, you said a silent prayer, took a breath, and sang like a canary.

“Um—in no particular order—one, no outings that have been labeled as a date, only hanging out is acceptable. Two, no back to back outings and or hanging out. Three, no hand-holding. Four, no one sees my house or how to get to my house. Five, No one comes to my house at all, not even to hang out and definitely not sleep. Six, I don’t hang out or sleep at anyone’s home. Seven, no kissing on the first date. Eight, no kissing on the second date. Nine, no kissing on the third date. Ten, no kissing with my eyes closed, period. Eleven, no PDA. Twelve, no gifts of any kind. Thirteen, no emotional intimacy. Fourteen, no vacations together. Fifteen, no sex with anyone you can see yourself with longer than three months. Sixteen, no meeting families or friends on either side. Seventeen, Never relinquish control.”

Hearing them out loud, you would have run in the other direction without looking back. He didn’t move, though, hell he didn’t even speak. He didn’t have to; his face was doing all the talking you needed. With bugged eyes, slightly parted lips, and his arms crossed over his chest, he looked the perfect picture of an outright terrified man.

“Those are a lot of rules.”

You nodded. “Yes, they are.”

He took several moments before speaking again. “How do you keep them all in mind?”

“Practice.”

“Wow, I don’t—I don’t know what to--.”

His words drifted off, and you watched him rub the back of his neck.

“So you’re willingly going to break number six and thirteen.”

He already had them memorized; you thought as you nodded. “Pretty much.”

Henry studied you for several more moments and then breathed out before he walked up the front doorsteps. You watched him unlock it before he looked back at you.

“Please come in.”

You didn’t know if he was serious or not, so you didn’t move. He must have sensed it because he beckoned you over with an added smile. Sighing, you slowly walked up the steps toward him and the door.

“I’ll get your bags,” he said before he walked back down the steps to gather your bags two by two.

On his second trip, you walked inside with him and looked around. It looked like a mix of Mediterranean, coastal, and traditional décor. The ceiling's wooden beams complemented the neutral colors of the furniture and the wood strewn around the foyer.

“Make yourself at home,” Henry said before he walked out again for the remainder of your bags.

You took a few more steps and looked at the art on the wall. They all were a mix of expressionist and abstract, and all made you feel relaxed. You could see him living here, and you wondered if he were renting this or if he owned it. A photograph on the sideboard resting against the wall caught your eye. It was of him and four other men all wearing athletic clothing, smiling widely and holding up medals. They all resembled each other, making you deduce they could have been his brothers. You walked further inside the home toward what looked like a living room and touched the white brick accent wall. It was a pleasing aesthetic that was set.

“Wow. This is--.”

You didn’t know the right word. Henry approached and stood beside you as you continued looking around.

“This is an architectural dream, and very different than I thought.”

“You’ve thought about my home?”

You paused with your hand on the back of one of the creamish, grey tufted couch and turned to look at him.

“Um, the environment to which you lay your head,” you cautiously corrected. “They say someone’s home tells you everything you need to know about them.”

“Is that so?”

You nodded and continued walking around the living room. The view from the arched window was beautiful.

“Let me give you a tour,” Henry offered, leading the way out of the living room.

He walked around, showing you each room, and they all resembled one another. You could imagine him in each room. Sitting in the armchair by the big window sipping coffee or kicking his feet up while watching tv at night before going to bed. When he showed you the kitchen, you pictured him cooking shirtless, making some French dish. It all screamed him.

“This is all yours?”

“I bought it as a holiday home for my family. I wanted us to have a place where we could go on holiday either together or separately. That is why it’s so big. There are a lot of us.”

“That’s nice,” you answered.

You nodded and followed him outside the large French-style glass doors. As soon as you stepped out, you could help but gasp at the beauty.

“Oh my god. Holy shit, this—this is—incredible. Wow.”

You gaped at the comfortable sitting area that was primed for dining outdoors. You went up the few steps and turned to the right, and marveled at the inground pool and the greenery of France.

“It is.”

Smiling, you turned to him then scoffed. “Wow.”

Henry smiled softly, then dipped his head. When he did, the smile fell.

“I’ll show you where you’ll sleep,” he said before turning to walk back inside. You took one more look around and followed him.

It wasn’t a quick walk by no means. You noted it was probably the other side of the house. When he stopped and opened a large, heavy wooden door, you walked in first. The room wasn’t obnoxiously large. It was comfortable and minimally decorated. You walked to the window and smiled. It was the perfect view of the cliffside.

“Is it to your liking?”

You spun while nodding your head. “Of course, thank you.”

“No problem,” Henry replied. Your eyes locked for a few seconds, but he was the one to look away.

“I’ll bring your bags.”

He walked out, leaving you to admire the view some more and formulate a better plan. You’d only thought as far as finding him. You didn’t plan to tell him everything about your rules, and now you didn’t know how to proceed. You felt awkward.

“God Aliya, stalker much?”

Sighing, you began pacing the floor, hoping something would come to you while you tried not to imagine him thinking of you like some crazy chick. Your phone went off, and you were thankful for the distraction. You plopped into the chair beside the window and went through your emails and messages, answering the urgent work ones, quickly getting lost in them.

“Here you go,” Henry began as he placed your bags on the far left side of the bedroom. You heard him come in, but being in the middle of an email, you didn’t look up, just mumbled a thank you.

“I thought a vacation was supposed to mean no work.”

Looking up at him, you released a breath. “I’m sorry, I—I got distracted, and I got sucked in.”

Smiling, you put your phone down, hoping he would see it as a peace offering. He was leaned against the wall with one leg crossed over the other.

“I understand. It happens to me too. I personally set everyone I work with, or for on a separate ring and alert sound, so I know not to answer or check it.”

“Everyone? That has to be at least fifty people,” you said.

“Try sixty-five, seventy.”

“Wow. How long did that take you?”

“Ha—hmm, about forty-five minutes maybe an hour,” Henry added.

“Is that what you think I should do?”

He shrugged, then raked his fingers through his curly tousled hair, and you wondered if he’d even bothered using a comb or a brush this whole time. He didn’t look disheveled, though. He looked perfect like this.

“I can’t say. It’s up to you.”

Again, your eyes locked, and you were just waiting, wishing for him to give you any hint at all that he wasn’t done with you and just being polite and hospitable.

“Thank you for bringing my bags, Henry.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled then spoke again. “Out of curiosity, how long were you staying? You have enough bags to say a few weeks.”

“Um—one thing you’ll learn about me, I overpack all the time. I can’t seem to, no matter how hard I try, but I’d rather have something I need rather than not have it when I need it,” you answered.

He nodded, then uncrossed his legs before changing his position.

“How—how long are you staying?”

“I planned on being here for about a week, maybe.”

You nodded, “Then?”

“Not sure. I’m not making plans for the next three and a half weeks at least,” he answered.

Tens of things flashed through your head to say, but you were still trying to read him and the situation. After a few seconds of silence, Henry spoke again.

“You’re—uh—you’re welcome to tag along wherever the wind blows.”

You didn’t like the sound of “welcome to,” but you also knew you’d already fucked the situation up, so you shouldn’t have any expectations. You sighed, then bit your bottom lip, trying to stop your lips from opening. You had the worst censor.

“Welcome? Huh, somehow that sounds different than an—invitation.”

Henry scoffed then nodded. “Last time I gave you an invitation, you didn’t really accept it or gracefully decline it.”

Damn, you thought. He’d thrown that right at you with force. You deserved it. He was right, you hadn’t accepted the invite, and it was done in true Aliya fashion—avoidance.

“Wow. Did you really just call me ungraceful?”

You bit your bottom lip, fighting the smile.

“You called yourself that,” Henry answered.

Another long stretch of silence filled the room, and the longer it went on, the more nervous you got. Henry pushed off the wall.

“I’ll make some lunch,” he said before he walked out.

Once he was gone, you breathed out and tried to catch your breath. There was something about him that always gave off an overwhelming feeling. It wasn’t a feeling of you being afraid but in a heightened state. Of what? You were still trying to figure it out. You slowly began unpacking your things while setting all your contacts on an alert. You were going to try his strategy to see if you would actually be able to enjoy this vacation.

About an hour later, you walked out of what was designated as your room and walked through the house, looking into rooms with open doors and around corners for where he could be. Following your nose and the delicious scent of roasted vegetables, you stepped into the kitchen expecting to see him, only to find it empty. Backtracking, you walked to the opened doors that led outside and saw him putting down a bottle of white wine on the rustic walnut table that had two place settings filled with the fruits of his labor.

“Right on time. I was going to come knocking.”

You smiled and tipped your head back to take in the wood and vines wrapped around the pergola.

“No need. I cannot get over this view,” you said.

“Do you come to France a lot?”

“No. I come once in a while, usually for work.”

“Ever Baldon?”

You approached the table, sliding your finger along the Rattan chair that accompanied the table.

“No.”

“Nice, so you’re a tourist,” Henry said with a smile as he pulled out a chair for you.

You returned his smile and sat down. “I am.”

As he walked to his seat adjacent to yours, you took in the spread before you. “What do we have here?”

“Avocado salad with mozzarella and roast beef sliders on Fiselle,” Henry explained as he pointed out everything he mentioned.

You were impressed. “Wow. Did you make this?”

His smile was wide; he looked proud. “I did. The roast beef was leftover from last night, and the avocado salad was quick. The bread was store-bought from the bakery in town, though.”

It all looked delicious. “So you can cook.”

“Yes, I can. My mother taught me; she taught all of us. She said it was her gift to our future significant others.”

You chuckled, already liking his mother. Henry motioned for you to try something, and you wasted no time doing so. You placed a forkful of the salad into your mouth, your eyes instantly closing. You moaned at the avocado's buttery taste and how the flavors of the mozzarella and lemony but sweet vinaigrette complemented the tang of the vegetables.

“This is good.”

Henry’s smile widened as he picked up one of his sliders.

“Thank you. Do you like French food?”

“I do.”

He nodded again as he finished chewing what was in his mouth. “Good, you’ll be eating a lot of it.

You couldn’t help but smile because it sounded like he planned on cooking for you more often. You liked the sound of that and everything it meant. The two of you ate in relative silence, but it wasn’t an awkward one. You were enjoying the feel of the sun beaming down on you through the vines and the sound of the ocean, you guessed was only a few miles away. You could even smell the salt in the air from it. Henry did look to be in dire need of conversation either. He seemed happy to listen to the song of the birds and the rustling of the leaves. You were glad for it because it gave you the needed time to get your thoughts together.

However, your thoughts only dwelled on one thing; the prospect of him hating that you were there.

“Are you freaked out that I’m here?”

Henry didn’t immediately speak. He lifted his glass and leisurely drank half of it before placing it back on the table. “All honesty, I’m just a little confused,” he began.

The taste of the wine on your tongue told you there was more than grapes in it. You tasted pear and even strawberries. It tasted like France.

“Yeah.”

“I do find it interesting that to you, I’m worth tracking my phone.”

You smiled and brought the glass back to your lips, using it more as a distraction than anything else.

“So you don’t plan on calling the FBI and telling them what I did?”

He snorted and leaned back in his chair. “Nah, you’re safe there.”

“It’s not as hard as you think. You just need the person’s full name and phone number,” you matter of factly advised.

“Also, a friend with the skill.”

You nodded again, not wanting to give anything away. From the corner of your eye, you could see him smiling like a fool trying not to laugh out loud. It was too much for you, and you had to laugh out loud. In seconds, he joined in, and any tension between you melted away.

After lunch, Henry suggested a quick look around, so you hopped on the back of his Ducati, and he gave you the driving tour of the area. He pointed out the bakery that supplied him with all his baked goods, the local butcher where he got the best cuts of meat, and even the local winery. The town was beautiful, and the best part was that it was so close to the beach. It was everything that everyone thought of when they thought of a town on the Côte d'Azur—beautiful, quaint, luxurious, and a ten on the romantic potential scale.

The entire time Henry remained the perfect gentleman. He kept his hands to himself, allowed you to go first, pulled out chairs, paid for all the small treats you sampled, and kept his language respectful. He was behaving so kind and professional it drove you crazy. The entire time you couldn’t ignore the magnetic pull you felt to him or the attraction that was growing by leaps and bounds thanks to the change of his appearance. He looked so good, and your body recognized it.

Your eyes always found each other no matter the size of the crowd or how far you were from one another. When your eyes met, they lingered so long the butterflies in your belly swarmed wildly, making you feel as if you’d run a marathon. You could even tell by the way he looked at you that he might have been feeling the same attraction, but still, he stayed away.

By the time you took a break, the sun was gone, and it was dinner time. Henry chose a restaurant with the perfect ocean view and the sweetest breeze. There was nothing that could have been more perfect. As you sat at the table across from him, eating a classic seaside French meal—Bouillabaisse. As you ate, you listened to a story Henry told about his childhood and the reason why his parents had to put him and his brothers in different sports. It turned out their competitive natures was too much with all of them grouped together, the testosterone needed to be split up.

It was nice getting a different viewpoint of him. Through his work, you got the professional view, and through the magazines and photoshoots the sex symbol view but hearing personal stories in the town where he’d chosen for holiday because of sentimental reasons at a restaurant he’d probably eaten at tens of times really made you want to get to know him better and give him a real chance. By the time you’d finished your dessert and began on your way back to the villa, you made the choice. Try.

The house was quiet, and thanks to the windows and doors he’d left open, it smelled of sea salt, lemons, and the lavender that bathed the surrounding hills. It was a smell you’d gladly get used to.

“Thank you for dinner,” you said once you were in the living room.

“No need to thank me. You have to eat,” he replied with a polite smile that made you clench your jaw.

“How um—how long have you been here?”

“A few days.”

You nodded but didn’t know what else to say. With the combination of the wine, the aphrodisiac oysters in the Bouillabaisse, and the smell of lavender, you felt a gentle lull of relaxation that made you feel ten times shier than you usually were. Henry didn’t speak though his eyes looked as if he had plenty to say. After a few minutes of silence, a confused look washed across his face before he looked down and sighed.

“Good night, Aliya.”

The words caught you off guard, but you nodded and hid it.

“Good night, Henry.”

It was a shaky whisper. You then watched Henry turn from you and walk off in the opposite direction than where your room was. You stood there for a few moments longer, debating with yourself on if you should follow him or not. When you thought to, you had no idea what you’d say when you did. When you finally decided just to call it a night, you’d stood in the dark living room for almost five minutes.

After a quick shower, you laid in bed staring at the full moon through the window, hoping somehow sleep would claim you, but after forty minutes of tossing and turning, you gave up and watched the moon instead. For the first time in months, you didn’t feel the urge to work. All you felt was a stillness in you that was very new—but welcomed all the same.

“Tomorrow is another day, Aliya. Make it right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#kismet fic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x black reader #henry cavill x black ofc #black fanfiction #slow burn fanfic

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 3 years

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Holy crap this episode was funny as hell until it wasn't and then we were plunged right back into the intensity. But great episode!!! I don't lb so I don't get spoilers but man I had a lot of reactions as I watched. Ngl, a lot of cursing and caps ahead but damn was this such a good episode:

“One minute before the blackout” - now we’re to 1 minute from 1 week last week

“The place where this heart’s from, it was a tragedy. But once we land, it’s gonna turn into a miracle, right?” “Yeah, I like that” -- so once we land and settle after all of this craziness, a tragedy will turn into a miracle? I like that *looking at you Eddie*

EDDIE GET OUT OF THAT CHOPPER RN, DO NOT DO THIS TO ME AFTER SEASON 4, DO NOT!!!

Bobby going in to save the heart, hmm...

Oh, thank God - Eddie, Hen, and Bobby are all safe

Dr. Salazar - we need more of her. I love her so much.

4 Days later - hmm...

Wow, they’re really bringing Harry to the forefront here, this whole kidnapping thing is going to happen isn't it?

Harry charging neighbors and Michael and David in a sort of co-parent situation - first of all, Harry you are a GENIUS and love that Michael and David with Harry are being focused on in this episode, ahem, is there possibly a reason...?

Lou survived!!!! THANK GOD

Nearly 5 days Lou was in hospital

5 day head start for Hudson - is there something with 1, 3, 4 and now 5? I'm keeping track here, Tim

Buck is the power czar LOL - omg I love this man so much

Ravi!!! We need MORE Ravi!!! but where is Albert???

CHIMNEY!!!!! OMG I LOVE YOU - "Give me a charger or Uncle Buck will never see his niece again" - "Give him a charger" - "Well played" - "Let this be a lesson, never give that man a clipboard" - "Excuse me for being efficient" - "That’s one word for what you are" - okay #1 I will forever be in love with Chimney, probably one of my top favorite characters on this show & #2 LOVE this whole brothers interaction, Albert may not be there but Buck and Chim are still going with the whole older-brother-is-exasperated-with-the-younger-brother's-shit vibe

Oh God, here comes more cringe, yay... not so much

Eddie kisses Ana on the cheek AGAIN (Eddie, can you hear me? This is your subconscious speaking, when are you going to end this, my man?)

Ana says going to visit was Christopher’s idea since he missed Eddie and thought he was hungry - muy interesante

Buck rushing over to greet Christopher and hugging him tight is a moment I live for - outside of the whole Buck and Eddie story, I LOVE this relationship with all of my heart, I am so glad Christopher has Buck, he really is his second dad (with or without Eddie being involved)

Eddie not introducing Ana to Ravi (nor Buck saying hi) - Buck’s expression - “You must be Eddie’s wife” Christopher: “Not yet” I FUCKING LOVE THIS KID, OKAY!!!! Buck’s smile, he loves Christopher, too - love how Ana and Eddie don't say anything to dispel or clarify this

SAME FUCKING TRIGGER AND THIS TIME BUCK SEES IT!!!! OMG (Eddie, this is your subconscious again, you need to listen! The universe and I are trying to tell you something, please before any more shit hits the fan like me having to watch more uncomfortable interactions between you and your placeholder friend!)

Eddie sending Ana and Christopher on a tour with Ravi IN THE DARK at his work place so he can put SALADS AWAY

Buck’s expressions the entire time - Buck knows something's up

Ana’s expressions the entire time - she KNOWS

Thank God Bobby wasn’t around - hear me out, I have a reason for this that I am still working on in this long ass meta

Buck makes sure to not make eye contact with Ana (except quickly when Ravi is waiting to be introduced), even when Ana laughs at his “Constantly”

Eddie being a probie when Shannon came back in season 2 (and Eddie pulled her into the locker room to talk) & Ana being left to tour the station house with Ravi aka Probie - hello parallels & contrasts, my old friend

“I don’t want these things to wilt” - interesting choice of wording there, Eddie (newsflash, it's already wilting, Eddie)

I almost feel a little bad for Ana here because she did do something nice and she gets the brushoff and some discomfort/embarrassment in return (I mean the woman brought three salads in the middle of a blackout that she most likely made herself, come on - I'm sure some people think salads are easy to make but to those of us in the inexperienced/uninitiated cooks' club, it's not that simple)

Lila dead - hmm...are we surprised? (Hudson didn't give a fig about her and what's sad is Lou would have saved her)

“I think she was smitten like those other fools. I think she saw him being led away in cuffs and she intervened on his behalf” - interesting line there, Athena...

I need more scenes with Athena and Elaine - I know Elaine is the captain and Athena is on her own with no partner but I gotta say I am enjoying this

Athena! Why are you not warning the survivors!!! I mean I get it but still!!!

OMG “He takes Christopher all the time, he’s got the place memorized” - BUCK LISTENED TO EDDIE IN 3x03 - OMG!!!

Oh Buck my poor baby, he knows what they’re walking into - I LOVE Hen’s line of “Just smile, Buck” and then Eddie and Chim both smile wide at him - OMG I AM LIVING FOR THESE SCENES WITH THE 118

“Welcome to the Jungle” - nice touch 911

OMG Buck you are cracking me up - no animals are getting past him

1 hawk or eagle or raptor maybe? I’m not good with bird species okay!!!

3 emus again

1 bird I have no idea what kind (wondering if that’s what we saw the back of last episode near the emus)

Giraffe again

3 wolves

3 camels

Elephant

“The animal makes a move, control it” - YOU GOT THIS BUCK (yes we are finally getting that scene we saw filmed!!!)

Buck’s expression when the camel runs by is KILLING ME 'yeah, that's right Camel, back up, back up, you don't want any of this, yeah that's right'

Stuffed animals in the souvenir store, interesting

2 for $5 sign - even more interesting

1 alpaca

I guess I kind of wonder why Hen didn’t become a vet at one point in her life? Like I’m glad she’s a first responder and about to be a doctor but damn she knows so much about animals, she’s like the 118’s resident animal expert, that’s my girl

“We were gonna get one” - um...what? Hen...

“I wouldn’t” LOL oh Bobby you slay me

Is it just me or do we hear ET almost type music in the background as Hen lays chips down for the alpaca? Bobby mentioning the Reese’s Pieces, the flashlight shining on the Alpaca when it steps into view...are we getting an ET reference?

“It’s calling its friend!” *another Alpaca appears through coats “Clever girl” - a Jurassic Park reference - It’s a fucking Steven Spielberg reference, holy shit!!!!

Okay so that scene was Eddie looking over at Bobby, got it, near the fire trucks

Oh Buck I love you so much “So you ran from an Alpaca?” “Two Alpacas and no one was running” - both Buck’s and Eddie’s faces and then laughter are freaking hilarious

Chimney: “After careful consideration, I have decided not to endorse this park” - OMG I have not stopped laughing for like five minutes straight, can you imagine a Jurassic Park AU for this team? - shot of T-rex above Ripley’s Believe It Or Not (nice one, 911)

Weird looking bird that I've never seen before and 2 emus and 2 vulture, 1 hawk/raptor bird, 1 rhino

May is awesome!!! And so are those neighbors!!!!

Eddie in the tank top!!! Buck with a clipboard!!!

“Hey are you sleeping or just pretending?” Buck is taking no prisoners today

Buck is trying to make sure he’s not having any symptoms, omg, seriously how do you not love this guy???? Eddie you better make an honest man out of him soon, I'm not sure how much longer I can take this

“You don’t give up, do you?” Oh Eddie you did not just say that, to Buck of all people, come on man (hello season 3 Eddie, my old friend)

Get him, Buck! Get him!

“Since when do you panic?” “That’s what I said, I don’t panic” Buck once again out there proving that he knows Eddie better than anyone else

Oh wow!!! Eddie came right out and said it “If I’m being honest with myself I think it was Ana”

And there it is folks “She’s been a constant through all of this, staying with Christopher”

“Somehow we became a ready made family and I don’t know if I’m ready for that” - wow, this is an excellent scene, he’s totally letting that wall down to talk candidly with Buck, nice - and him being stripped down to a tank top for this scene just reiterates that fact, he's baring some things

“I think I’m gonna stick it out. Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon” - oh Eddie, you really need to shit or get off the pot my friend, this isn’t good for you, Christopher or Ana - how can you sentence all three of you to this? come on

“My kid loves her” but YOU DON'T - okay my heart is breaking, Eddie is making the same goddamn mistake all over again just like we predicted - Eddie please, what did Carla just say to you three episodes ago? Where the hell is Carla btw????

“Stick it out? That’s not the way you talk about someone you��re in love with” “That enough?” - thank you Buck, seriously THANK YOU

Okay my heart just broke again but for Buck this time “Eddie, I have been Ana” - aww =( I love my chaotic firefighter son with all of my heart

And of course Denial!Eddie aka repressed!Eddie are back, sigh - 5x03 has to be where it all comes to a head, it has to be, now even Buck is forcing him to face what he's trying so hard not to - word of advice Eddie, my repressed firefighter son, you can try to deny it mentally/emotionally all you want but it will come out one way or another, just like it's coming out in panic attack symptoms and anxiety - you have to end this, sweetie

And I think it’s very interesting that Eddie looks right at Buck during “If I’m being honest with myself” *looks away then right back at Buck* “I think it was Ana”, “staying with Christopher”, then right after “I don’t know if I’m ready for that”, “I think I’m gonna stick it out”, “Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon” “My kid loves her”

OMG Eddie’s expression when Buck says “I know what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s not all the way in and deep down you know it and it hurts. It hurts worse than the truth” — RYAN WHERE IS YOUR GODDAMN EMMY??? If anyone ever doubted that Eddie was in love with Buck, there’s the freaking proof written all over Eddie’s face at Buck’s line!!! It’s not something he thinks he can have and it hurts

Okay seriously, Eddie saying “Ana’s the first woman I’ve wanted to spend this much time with Shannon” — VERY PURPOSEFUL MENTION OF A WOMAN HE’S WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH, EDDIE PLEASE, CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!!

Then they go right to Chim calling Maddie, uh huh, I see you 911

I really love Hen’s full support of Maddie btw & I love how Chim is able to talk to Hen about it all

Oh no!!! Maddie please don’t fall asleep!!!

Oh thank God!!!! It’s going to be okay, Maddie, you got her, it’s going to be okay - I seriously want to give my girl a hug and tell her it's going to be okay

Omg Jee-Yun is so cute!!!

Day 4 or day 5 hmmm - I'm still keeping track, Tim

“Why is it every time the world ends, it ends some more?” “It just keeps us on our toes” “More like knocks us on our asses” - Universe is that you?

Awww Bobby just called Athena “baby” <3 I'm not crying, you're crying

YES more Athena and Elaine

Lou is awake!!!!

Awww Lou =( I may or may not be ugly crying rn

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that Lou is alive

Oh God!!!! Athena get the cops there now!!!!

Yeah you should have let Harry charge them Michael lol, of course they were there to just use the generator power (though I love and appreciate the contrast they gave us in the neighbors who helped the boy with the ventilator so we know not all people take advantage)

OH NO GET AWAY FROM HARRY YOU BASTARD!!!!

On a side note, it’s nice to see more Michael and David but at what cost, Tim? Can we please get more of them and especially David in a more lighthearted episode for crying out loud? Is that too much to ask???

Go Bobby!!!!

Good for you, Athena!!!

Omg this is practically Athena’s nightmare come to life, shit

Omg Hudson unplugged the goddamn generator, THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

HARRY!!!!!!

I’M SORRY BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE’S NO BOLO WITH A PICTURE ON THIS GUY?!!? - oh right, no power, but STILL

Okay that was super intense, I really hope Athena is the one to take Hudson down, just like Bobby said

I have a few more rewatches to do before breaking things down but damn, I think I need a drink after that one.

#911 fox #911 spoliers #911 5x02 #911: desperate times #buddie mention #eddie and ana mention #bathena mention #911 fox posts

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smugraccoon137 · 3 years

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Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person.

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara.

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn.

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line.

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important?

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork.

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,)

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus.

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman.

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part.

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying.

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone.

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”.

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters.

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey.

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF.

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

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celestialmark · 4 years

Text

Lacuna - Epilogue

- Characters: Johnny Suh x members of nct - Category: single parent au, fluff, slight angst - Word count: 6k - Warnings: - - Navigation: prologue | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | epilogue - Author’s notes: hello I am so emotional because I can’t believe this is really the end of the series.. I initially wrote this for my dearest friend who’s so close to my heart, but somehow along the way, a lot of you followed, patiently waited and liked this story and I will always and forever be grateful to all of you. I’ve grown so attached to this series and knowing it’s the end now is making me so sad yet so happy at the same time. I really hope this epilogue makes up for all the angst we’ve all been through the past few chapters and that it meets all of your expectations. I love you all heaps and bunches and thank you for reading and staying with me throughout this series. happy reading my sweet! x

“Daddy’s home!” You say to Youngho excitedly when you hear the front door slide open with Johnny now possessing keys to your house.

Youngho immediately drops his pencil on the table, completely forgetting about his unfinished homework, hopping off the chair and racing towards the front door to see Johnny taking off his shoes by the hallway.

“Daddy!” Youngho exclaims, his voice rippling through the house.

“Hey buddy,” Johnny greets with a warm smile that reaches his eyes and lowers himself to meet Youngho’s outstreched arms for him. “How was school today?”

“Really good! My teacher said I draw really well,” Youngho brags proudly, standing tall when Johnny lets go of him.

Johnny grins and ruffles Youngho’s hair, “I’m so proud of you! Good job!” Letting his eyes scan the hallway, his natural instinct is to look for you. “Is mommy around?”

“Kitchen!” Youngho replies and walks off.

You emerge by the hallway then, arms crossed across your chest, a bashful smile on your lips as you watch Johnny tug at his tie to loosen it, still clad in his tux after being at work all day. He looked divine, to say the least, even when the stresses of the day has beaten him down to a pulp.

Johnny’s face lights up immediately when his eyes land on you, his shoulders drooping unknowingly, already feeling a thousand times calmer at the sight of you. “Hey you.” He opens his arms, the gaze in his eyes inviting you and you try so hard not to melt because this was your reality now.

“Hey,” you greet shyly, walking towards him and reaching upwards to circle your arms around his neck just as he wraps his around your waist, his embrace firm, burying his face into your shoulder.

“Missed you,” you hear him mumble.

You chuckle, your insides warm, “When do you not?”

“Good question,” Johnny replies, lifting his head off your shoulder and pulling himself back so that he can look at you, his arms never leaving you. “But would it hurt if you said it back? Even if you have to lie?”

You laugh just as a teasing smile lifts on his face. “Missed you,” you finally say. “And that’s not a lie.”

Johnny bites at his lower lip to suppress his smile from getting wider, the woman of his dreams finally so close to him like this, feeling like the luckiest man on earth, because well, he’s convinced he was.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, his eyes glazing over every single one of your features, nothing but love and affection in his shining orbs. Johnny’s ducking his head, resting his forehead against yours in the process, determined to plant a kiss on your lips and you’re closing your eyes as he’s doing so, wanting nothing more than to feel him closer.

When you feel his breath against your skin, heartbeat skyrocketing and mind hazy with the thought of him, you’re quick to let go of him when Youngho’s voice jolts you both. “Mommy! I need help with this question!”

You’re suddenly chuckling, the disappointment in Johnny’s face too amusing for you not to make fun of. “Maybe later,” you tease but you lean on your tip toes anyway to plant a quick kiss on his cheek, hoping it’ll make do for now before walking away from him to tend to your son.

Johnny finds you and Youngho side by side on the dining table with you assisting Youngho on a particular question for his homework, your eyes focused on him as he jots down what comes to his mind after your direction. Johnny leans on the doorframe, revelling in the sight in front of him, falling in awe that this was his very own family and to make things even better, a family with the love of his life, his first love, you.

“Good job baby,” you praise when Youngho finishes the final question, squishing his cheeks in between your palms and planting a kiss on his forehead.

Not only were you an amazing lover, you were the best mother too.

When you spot Johnny watching you interact with Youngho with a soft smile, you tilt your head to the side, silently questioning him for just standing there, he just gives you another heart-stopping smile before he’s shaking his head and finally moving from his spot to join you both on the table.

“What do you boys want to eat for dinner?” you ask when Johnny takes a seat beside Youngho, helping you put away his books into his backpack.

“Pizza!” Youngho cheers.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you counter, knowing how much junk Youngho’s been having recently and plus it had been an agreement between you two that treats were saved for Fridays, a few more days to go until then.

“But mommy—“

“A healthier option maybe baby.”

Youngho pouts but when an idea pops up in his head, he’s suddenly turning to Johnny who’s just finished zipping his backpack when he places the last book inside. He’s tugging on Johnny’s sleeve, puppy eyes ogling up at him.

“Daddy,” he whispers.

When Johnny grasps what he’s trying to imply, he slowly trails his eyes over to you to which is met by a knowing gaze, already aware of what your son was trying to do.

“I think pizza sounds good!” Johnny suddenly announces and it makes you roll your eyes because these two were already scheming with one another, making it two against one.

So that’s how you find yourselves lounging in the living room with a box of pizza on thhe coffee table, Youngho’s favourite movie playing on the television after yet another successful persuasion from the two to allow him to watch on a school night. Youngho is wedged in between you and Johnny, a blanket big enough draped over your laps. Every now and again, Youngho would tug at Johnny’s sleeve when his favourite part would come up and it makes Johnny pay extra attention, asking Youngho in return why certain parts have become his favourite. And it doesn’t take long before Youngho’s snoozing, head falling towards your side. So when the movie ends and Johnny’s turned the television off, Johnny lifts Youngho in his arms as you watch him with a fond smile, thanking the heavens for blessing your life with such an endearing man whose affection for his son literally oozes in the way he looks at him.

When Johnny returns a few minutes later, he returns to his seat on the couch, only this time, he sits much closer to you, his shoulder touching with yours as you work to make sure he’s under the blanket just as much as you were. He’s reaching for your hand and when gets a hold of it, he interlocks his fingers with yours, his skin warm and soft. You lean your head on his shoulder, exhaling a breath of relief.

“Finally some time alone with you,” Johnny muses, turning his head slightly to kiss your head. He’s rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb as he rests his head on top of yours. “I missed this.”

“Me too,” you agree quietly. “Actually, I missed a lot of things.”

“Enlighten me.”

You shrug your shoulders, “Just.”

Johnny stays silent for a few seconds, merely gazing at the side of your face, smiling gently, literal hearts oozing out of his eyes. “I missed you the most,” he murmurs. “I missed your voice, I missed your hugs, I missed your kisses.”

You chuckle.

“Cheesy.”

“But true,” Johnny reiterates. He’s raising his free hand and it lands on your cheek as you lift your head off his shoulder so that you can look at him, “Remember the letter I wrote you?”

“Mhm.”

“I meant every single word, I still do,” Johnny’s staring into your eyes, gentle and warm orbs that you lose yourself into, a literal window to the depths of his soul; kind, compassionate, loving. “What’s better now is that I get to tell you whenever I want and need to.”

“And here I was crying over you denying what you said when you were drunk,” you say, turning away from him, the memory of that devastating time making you grimace.

Johnny laughs and it vibrates through his chest as he throws his head back. “It’s not funny,” you sulk. “That one hurt.”

“Babe, I lied to you because I thought you chose someone else over me,” Johnny points out when he settles down, catching his breath.

The hairs on your skin stand immediately at the nickname, the thought of it being directed at you making you feel all sorts of emotions inside. “Yeah and look where you assumptions brought you. If you would’ve just asked or let me finished talking—”

Johnny rests his forehead on the side of your head, “I know, I know. I’m sorry for being stubborn.” His hand leaves yours just so he can lift your legs so that it rests on top of his thighs, wanting you close as possible. You’re chuckling as you encircle your arms around his neck, resting the side of your head on his shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, I'm still as crazy about you as the first day I met you,” Johnny sighs, planting a kiss on your forehead.

Everything stills from then on, with you just taking in this moment with Johnny, so content and calm having him this close as his arms tighten themselves around your waist, his palms squeezing them every now and again. No matter how many years have passed, he was still the Johnny you remembered him to be and maybe even better now because he was here for you to hold. And he’s still as expressive as you remember him to be, always facing his emotions face front, no reluctance in confessing how he felt for you, especially with what he says next.

“I love you, y/n.”

It comes out in a low whisper, so delicate, words only for you.

Your home was finally home.

“What are you doing here?”

Your tone is questioning, eyebrow raised but there’s a bashful smile on your face when you see Johnny exit his car, his tie already loose around his neck when he reaches you by the gates of your preschool. He takes your bag from you and plants a chaste kiss on your cheek.

“Picking up my girlfriend from work, what else?” Johnny replies casually and moves to open the passenger seat for you.

You’re trying so hard not to crumble, but the blush that’s creeping up on your cheeks is surely giving you away right now. So you duck your head to avoid Johnny's gaze and scurry to get into the car so that you can take a deep breath to calm yourself. It feels just like the time Johnny courted you during the earlier years of your youth.

“How was work today babe?” Johnny asks as he revs the engine of his car to life, eyes on the road after strapping your seatbelt for you and he doesn’t stop there because once you’re settled in your seat, he’s reaching for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and keeping it in place on his thigh.

You’re smiling as you train your eyes on the road ahead, afraid that if you glanced at the man who’s making your heart thump, you’d literally melt. “Okay, the usual, the kids are still as cute as ever.”

Johnny smiles and brings your palm up so that he can kiss the back of your hand. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“How about yours?” You ask, finally having the courage to look at him, even is side profile seeming too perfect in your eyes. “I thought you’d be at work all day today?”

You see Johnny shrugging his shoulders, “Might have taken an hour off to see you.”

Though it warms your heart, you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Are you even allowed to do that?”

“Probably not,” Johnny points out and glances at you for a second, “But I couldn’t help it.”

You scoff fondly, “You are something else Johnny Suh.”

Johnny chuckles and gives your hand a squeeze. “Do we need to pick up Youngho?”

You shake your head, “No, Jaehyun is dropping him off my house later.”

Johnny grins, “Great. More alone time with you.”

“You’ve used up thirty minutes of your unofficial one hour off work babe, I think it’s best you drive back as soon as you drop me off,” you point out playfully.

“Say it again.”

“You need to drive back—”

“No. Not that. What you called me.”

You blink at him before you realise when you recount your words. “B-babe?”

And then you feel the car come to a complete stop when Johnny pulls up on the side of a random road. He’s turning to you, letting go of your hand and smiling at you widely, his eyes disappearing. “I missed you calling me that,” he confesses and before you know it, he’s holding either sides of your face and leaning inwards to plant a sweet kiss on your lips, his happiness transcending from his lips to yours.

You’d almost forgotten how expressive this man was and honestly, it seemed as if Johnny was here to remind you and you really didn’t mind at all.

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to arrive at your house when Johnny begins to drive again, pulling the brakes just outside the gates of your home. He doesn’t want to go and you can tell by the way he tightens his hand around yours.

“Have a good evening at work,” you say, reaching across your seat to kiss his cheek which immediately makes him smile. “Please don’t give your employees a hard time, and also please stop slacking.”

Johnny’s chuckling, “For your information, I happen to be the best boss around.”

“Who also happens to disappear from work at random times of the day to do whatever he wants,” you rebuke, teasing him by pressing your index finger to his forehead.

“Hey hey hey,” Johnny defends, “This was crucial for me. I needed to see you so that I can focus on my work later. Call it a breather if you will.”

You’re rolling your eyes again but your grinning along with him, heart warm and giddy at the nonsense coming out of his mouth, “I’m not going to argue with you anymore because you’re going to be late.”

“I don’t mind, it’s okay.”

“Oh but I do,” you say, reaching across to kiss him on the cheek again, “Thanks for coming to see me, drive safe okay?”

Johnny puckers his lips and tugs at your hand when you’re just about to lean away, keeping your in place. “Another one,” he requests, puckering his lips out even more, “Here.”

You raise a brow at him, “Were you always this clingy?”

“I have every right to be after five years, babe. Cut me some slack.”

You laugh, the sound ringing in Johnny’s ears, falling for you all over again. You comply to his wishes, letting go of his hand to cup his face in your palms and landing a kiss on his lips, allowing them to linger on his for a while longer, feeling Johnny smiles against your lips before you’re eventually pulling away.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Johnny announces when you’re unbuckling your seatbelt. “Don’t miss me too much!”

“I’m taking it that you and Johnny worked things out?”

Ten and Jaehyun’s heads snap towards you at Taeyong’s mention of Johnny’s name.

“Really?!” Ten says excitedly as you hand him a fork for the pasta that Jaehyun is scooping out of the bowl.

You give Taeyong a weird look, wondering how he came to that conclusion without any explanation from your side, “What made you say that?”

“You look really happy,” he points out and it makes Ten and Jaehyun take a closer look at you, literally moving their faces closer to yours across the table to examine you.

Ten’s eyes widen, “That is true!”

You roll your eyes and push their faces away with the base of the palm of your hands, “I look like this all the time, thank you very much.”

Jaehyun shakes his head and resumes scooping out a portion of pasta for you, “I haven’t seen you this happy since university days.”

“It looks good on you, y/n,” Taeyong adds.

“Thank God,” Ten clucks his tongue. “I don’t know how much longer I could’ve endured seeing you so miserable.”

Your mouth forms an “o” and both of your brows raise at Ten who’s begun digging in his food, “What does that even mean? I didn’t look that miserable, did I?”

Taeyong shrugs, “Ten is just being dramatic.”

Jaehyun nods, “Yeah, don’t mind him.”

When you look at Ten again, he’s set his fork down on his plate and you assume he’s trying to mimic you when he pretends to cry, sniffing as he pouts his lips. “You looked like this almost every time I saw you since Johnny got back. I’m not lying and certainly,” he narrows his eyes at Taeyong who’s setting glasses down around the table, “not being dramatic.”

Jaehyun takes a seat, a smile playing on his lips, “If it makes you feel better, Johnny was just as miserable as you. If not, maybe even more.”

“Really?”

Taeyong nods and takes a seat beside Jaehyun, “Yeah. I’ve never seen him so sad before. He basically barged in Ten’s house that night and got drunk by himself. He was saying all these things about you to us.”

“And you know, Johnny hardly cries,” Ten adds. “But he cried that night with us.”

Memories of that night flood your thoughts and that’s when you're reminded how difficult things must have been for Johnny. All this time, he’s been tending to your wounds and helping you heal while it has only occurred to you now that he might actually be needing the exact same thing from you.

The doorbell rings then and Taeyong is quick to go and get the door while you’re in the midst of coming back to reality after having zoned out for a few seconds. Johnny emerges from the hallway and he waves at the guys before he’s walking towards you and openly wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close so he could press a kiss on your cheek.

“Hey,” he murmurs.

“Yup, they’re definitely together again,” Ten states, pointing his fork at you two.

Taeyong and Jaehyun who’ve seen the scene unfold immediately take their eyes off you two, the feeling of being around the both of you reminding them of the old times. “Yup, definitely,” Taeyong mumbles and begins to eat.

As the four of them talk over dinner with your occasional nod and laugh here and there, you can’t help but be silent for the majority of the time, your earlier thoughts nagging at you in your head because the one thing you’re forgetting and have forgotten all this time is that Johnny is really good at masking, at hiding everything he needed to. As expressive as he was with how he felt, he was also the number one contender for hiding things he didn’t want to feel and you can’t help but feel hurt at the thought of him suffering too, silently, and by himself.

Johnny notices your unusual behaviour and gives your thigh a squeeze from time to time to let you know he’s there, not let you know he notices something is off with you, and though you give him a smile, you’re sure he’s not buying your silent reassurances. So when the guys leave some time after dinner ends, Johnny’s tugging at your arm, grabbing your attention from the dishes that you’re about to wash.

“A penny for your thoughts, hm?” he says softly, a small smile adorning the corners of his lips.

Johnny hasn’t let go of your arm and so you use your free one to pull him close, landing yourself in his chest, arms rising to wrap around his body. When you rest your head against his chest, you can hear his steady heartbeat, calming you in a way nothing else can. “Johnny, you know I'm always here for you, right?”

You feel his arms wrap around you in return, gently pulling you closer into his warmth. “Where is this coming from babe?”

“Just.. we’ve always been talking about me and everything that happened when you were gone,” you begin, lifting your head off his chest to look up at him. “But we never talk about you and how things have been for you during that time... I, I want to know.”

“This is what’s been bothering you?”

You nod.

Johnny takes his eyes off you momentarily, staring into nothing to conjure up an answer to your question and when he’s ready to answer, he redirects his eyes on yours, lips pressed into a thin line. “There isn’t much to tell you if I’m honest. Besides what I've written in that letter.. really nothing much else. All I remember is every day consisting of me missing you, of not really having any energy to do anything because nothing felt right at that point even when it was everything I wanted.. Just, it was hard, I guess?” Johnny pauses, thinking back to all the times he’s spent by himself sleeping off everything that weighed him down. “It was hard since I never really had anyone to talk to and I think I was coming from a position where I didn’t really want to leave in the first place. I guess I just never really came to terms with missing home in those five years.”

You sigh, imagining how difficult all those times must have been. You want him to talk more, to tell you more, possibly every little and big thing that happened in your absence. But you knew better because Johnny almost never talked about anything that upset him.

“And the only reason why I keep asking about you is because I’m sure you’ve had a tougher time raising our son on your own,” Johnny continues, his eyes warm and gentle. “I keep asking about you because I want to know how I can make up for it now.”

You can’t help but smile, Johnny’s ability to always put you first making you feel all sorts of love. “It’s different though, I had Youngho that made everything a little easier. Raising him has been nothing but a blessing. At least for me, I had him. With you...”

“Hey hey hey, stop that,” Johnny interrupts, leaning inwards to press his forehead against yours, eyes tender and lips curled upwards. “It doesn’t matter anymore okay? What matters now is that you and I are here, together, with Youngho. We have the rest of our lives to make up for everything we missed in those five years, okay?”

You nod slightly, your arms wrapping themselves around his neck, “Promise me one thing?”

“What is it, love?”

“Promise me you’d talk your heart out more to me.”

Johnny chuckles, “Geez, if I did, you’d be sick of hearing my cheesiness very quick.”

“Babe, I mean it.”

Johnny smiles and it make you smile too.

“I promise.”

Johnny places a soft kiss on your forehead and you close your eyes instantly to relish it all in, feeling a little too overwhelmed when you realise he really is finally here. You stay comfortable in your position, in his arms where you feel the safest, in the stillness and quietness of your house, just the two of you in the silence of your thoughts and the in the peace of your hearts. You feel Johnny squeeze you in his arms and your heart warms for a hundredth time for all the right reasons.

“Hey y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Come live with me.”

You should’ve known from the moment you opened your eyes first thing in the morning today when Johnny peppered your face with more kisses than usual, when he literally carried you off the bed and into the bathroom just so you could get ready for the day, when he literally could not stop grinning at you like some weirdo until the very moment he dropped you off at work, that he was up to something. With his hands covering both your eyes, body pressed gently behind you to lead you into the right directions, you’re beginning to grow impatient because even though you knew he was keeping something from you, he wouldn't budge and tell you what it was.

“Johnny— I swear, what is happening?”

“Shh, just trust me birthday girl.”

You huff and it makes Johnny chuckle behind you, your hands wrapped around his wrists for support. “I feel like I'm going to trip and fall on my face. Could you please just let me see where I'm going?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Johnny asks rhetorically. “And besides, don’t you trust me?”

You don’t bother to answer him, just letting him lead you further for another two minutes before you feel him come to a stop behind you. You exhale a breath, somehow your heart picking up its pace because from what you can remember, Johnny always loved to surprise you and with every single one that came after the previous, he had always outdone himself in ways you never thought he would. A small part inside of you is anticipating and the bigger part is excited, despite your actions showing otherwise.

“Okay babe, keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, okay?”

“Alright.”

You feel Johnny’s hands leave your eyes and you hear him scurry away from you, his steps echoing towards somewhere in front of you.

“Okay, open them!”

And you finally do.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!”

In front of you are the people you love the most, with party hats on their heads and streamers flying in all directions. You’re smiling as you scan the whole room, your eyes falling on Youngho first who’s in Johnny’s arms, Taeyong, Ten and Jaehyun in another corner and Mr and Mrs Suh in front of the small crowd, smiling at you fondly. The entire kitchen and dining area is decorated with banners and balloons, all catered to your liking with food spread out generously on the dining table and the kitchen counter. Everyone’s grinning at you and you’re not really sure what to say because out of all the possible things Johnny could have prepared for your special day, you certainly did not expect this.

“Oh my god, you guys!” you manage to croak out, your eyes brimming with tears with how overwhelmed you are because in this room, was everyone you loved so dearly.

From the corner of your eye, you see Johnny set Youngho down from his arms and making his way over to you. When he reaches you, you’re already bent down to meet him at eye level.

“Happy birthday mommy,” he greets with a toothy smile, proceeding to put a hat on your head.

“Thank you so much baby,” you murmur when he’s reaching for your face to give you a kiss. “Did you plan this with daddy?”

Youngho nods shyly and you shoot Johnny a glance behind him only to be met with a dreamy smile. It isn’t long before everyone’s digging in for food, the boys hugging you one by one to congratulate you on another year of existence, along with Mr and Mrs Suh who greet you nonstop and pulling you aside to talk about anything and everything, ecstatic at the news of you and Johnny getting back together.

“I’m so happy for the both of you!” Mrs Suh exclaims, pulling you in for what feels like a sixth hug. “This has been everything Johnny’s ever wanted, and really, all we’ve ever wanted!”

Mr Suh chuckles and taps his wife by the shoulder, “You can let her go now, she has other guests to entertain.”

Mrs Suh releases you immediately, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry honey, I got carried away! I’m just so happy.”

You smile in return, taking a moment to spot Johnny in the room behind you before directing your attention back to his parents, “I’m just as happy as you are. I really am.”

And you really meant it.

“How does it feel to be a year older?” Ten asks by the counter, munching on some barbecue.

“I feel the same?” you point out with a shrug of your shoulders. “I don’t feel much different!”

“Hey y/n,” Jaehyun butts in, a plate full of food in his palm, “Remember that time you asked me about dating someone so Youngho could have a playmate?”

Taeyong finds himself beside you, picking up a piece of watermelon with his fork, “Well now you have someone to make Youngho’s playmate with!”

Ten and Jaehyun are wiggling their eyebrows at you from across the counter while Taeyong jabs at your side with his finger. “Will we be expecting a baby number two before this years ends?” Ten teases further, a knowing look on his face.

“You guys,” you roll your eyes but smile anyway. “The answer is no.”

Out of the three, Ten is the quickest to glare, “Oh come on! Johnny is here! What are you waiting for?”

“Johnny is indeed here,” Johnny pipes up beside Ten who happens to be nearby to hear his name being mentioned. He looks at you, quirking an eyebrow, “What’s happening?”

Jaehyun smirks at you and you glare at him in warning. “Y/n over here wants a playmate for Young—”

Jaehyun doesn’t get to finish his sentence when you launch a balled up piece of tissue his way, hitting him square in his pretty face. But it didn’t seem to matter because Johnny appears to have caught on, a mischievous glint now coating his eyes.

“Is this an invitation, babe?” Johnny teases, raising his brows up and down at you.

You sigh and roll your eyes, “You boys are unbelievable.”

Some time in the evening, when all the guests have left, including Youngho who insists on staying with is grandparents for the night, you head upstairs to wash up and take a long shower after much convincing from Johnny who insists he’s okay with finishing up the cleaning. But as soon as you finish with your nightly routine, Johnny is calling you from downstairs.

“I told you I should’ve stayed and helped—”

Your eyes widen at what your eyes come across as soon as you enter the kitchen. The lights have been dimmed and in the centre of the room, is a table for two people, clad in red velvet cloth and candles, plates for two on opposite sides and wine glasses to accompany each one, music playing quietly in the background. There’s rose petals scattered around where the table is situated and then your eyes catch him, Johnny, standing right beside the table, a single red rose in his hand, smiling at you gently.

“Happy birthday my love,” he says before he’s walking over to you and handing you the rose in exchange for your hand so that he can lead you to your seat.

Johnny has definitely outdone himself again tonight.

“Another surprise?” you say weakly, another wave of emotions gushing at you. “I’m not quite dressed for the event,” you chuckle and look down at Johnny’s white t-shirt that you grabbed out of nowhere earlier paired with shorts.

Johnny chuckles and pulls out your chair for you to sit, pushing it back in slightly when you do, “Not to worry. You always look beautiful no matter what you wear.”

When you take a closer look, you realise Johnny’s served his famous steak and you watch as he takes his own seat, proceeding to pour red wine for the both of you. When he finishes, you raise your glasses up, sharing a toast in celebration of another year of your life. You fall into mindless conversations about the day as you both eat, asking him about everything that went on behind the scenes for today to happen and as he speaks, you realise just how much this man must really love you for him to go through such lengths to make you feel extra loved on a day you never really celebrated anymore.

From across the table and beyond the candles, Johnny gives you a knowing look that suggests something you didn’t think you’d be doing tonight when your favourite song plays distantly in the background. You watch him carefully with an incredulous smile as he rises from his seat in a prince-like manner. He reaches your seat then and offers a hand.

“May i please have the pleasure of being your first dance tonight?” he asks politely, body slightly bowing towards you. You laugh involuntarily and raise a brow playfully, “come on babe, for old time’s sake.”

The shining of his eyes encourage you to accept his request and you do so by placing your hand in his outstretched one. “Certainly, Mr Suh.”

Johnny finds both of his hands on either side of your waist while yours sit comfortably on his chest. You both sway side to side and waves of nostalgia come flooding back to you, remembering the last time you had the opportunity to spontaneously dance with him like this was in the confinement of your cozy home was five years ago.

“I really missed this,” Johnny says, bringing you back to reality while staring down at you. You look up to meet his eyes and the familiar sense of longing for the very first person you’ve ever loved comes back.

“I did too,” you whisper faintly. A smile grazes his lips, gently squeezing at you by the hips. “Johnny is it okay if I—“

“Always love, you don’t even have to ask,” he cuts you off. You lean your head on Johnny’s chest, a habit you always showed back then when you found yourself swaying with him to songs you both loved. The familiarity of the situation and how it feels to be this close to him makes you silently wish time would stand still, at least just for tonight.

Johnny pulls a palm higher up your back and begins to rub it in a soothing manner, both of you soaking it all in. He presses a kiss on your temple and you can’t help but notice a subtle change in the pace of his heartbeat as it picks up its pace, a complete contrast to how calm he is on the outside.

But then you understand why.

“Hey y/n.”

And then you start to feel your heartbeat pick up too because if anything, when Johnny began with those two words along with his gentle voice, it always seemed to change your life forever afterwards.

“Mhm?”

“Marry me.”

You immediately lift your head off his chest, your eyes widening up at him, fearing you might have heard wrong. But you know you didn’t because he’s staring down at you with eyes full of... love.

“Johnny—”

“I don’t have a ring yet.. but the moment felt too right for me not to ask you,” Johnny explains, a nervous smile now appearing on his lips. “But I have been meaning to ask you, for the longest time now, it’s just I never knew when but tonight—”

“Yes.”

Johnny’s eyes widen this time. “W-what?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes I’ll marry you.”

Johnny’s eyes soften as yours brim with tears. “Really?”

You nod as he smiles, “Yes really.”

Johnny’s hands leave your body, palms now caressing your face, his touch warm and gentle and his lips on yours even more gentler. Johnny held you like you were the most delicate thing he’s ever touched and at that moment, for the first time you knew, he was the only man you’d ever want to spend the rest of your life with.

Lacuna. A missing or blank piece.

All this time, Johnny had been yours.

And this time, he was here to fill all of it.

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isthisthingeven0n · 4 years

Text

not like the books say : d.d

brief summary: for years you’ve been friends with david, but of late you’ve developed a crush. in your attempt to rid of the burden, you start to distance yourself from david, except it doesn’t go unnoticed.

word count: 1.7k requested: yes - by a lovely anon, thank you for the angsty idea! warnings: none that i’m aware of

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK - IT IS ALL MY OWN WRITING

You always thought it just happened in films and books. Never in a million years did you think you’d end up being the protagonist who falls for her best friend. Yet, here you are; in love with your best friend, David.

It was something you intended to avoid thinking about, but when you spent nearly every moment with him it was harder than that. You kept your cool 90% of the time, and the only person who seemed to really notice was Natalie.

Since Natalie found out about your harbouring crush, you made the decision to try and distance yourself from your best friend. It was only going to be a temporary measure, just until you felt more like yourself again (and didn’t find yourself drooling over David.)

Yet, you quickly discovered it wasn’t going to be that easy. You see, being apart from David is like going without your phone for a long length of time- close to impossible. Even if you were in his house, but in a separate room, David just knew. He loved having you around, no matter what’s happening, he just wanted you to be there.

Leading you to now, sitting in your house trying to ignore the ringing and bombardment of text messages from David, wondering where you are.

“You gotta answer him at some point, Y/n.” Your friend, Dani speaks up.

She listens as you let out an audible groan before turning your phone face down. “Think that’ll stop it for a bit?” You glance up toward her unimpressed expression as she passes over your drink.

“It’s David. He won’t stop, next thing you’ll know is he’ll send the police around to make sure you’re not dead.” Dani passively jokes, but you both know it might be something he’d actually do one of these days.

Leaning forward, you reach for your phone as the mass of notifications illuminates your screen. “Yeah, I’ll just answer this one.” You mutter, seeing Dani nod out of the corner of your eye as she exits the room.

As you answer the phone, immediately you’re greeted by a long sigh of relief. “Oh thank god, I thought you died.” David dramatically exhales, hearing you chuckle through the line.

“Nope, not dead I can assure you.” You smile to yourself, feeling the all too familiar butterflies in your stomach. “Everything alright?”

Pacing around his bedroom, David nods to himself. “Yeah, yeah. I just wondered if you were coming over today? Jase is here along with Carly and Erin.”

“Sorry Dave, I can’t today.” You tell him, curling up into a cushion on the sofa as you picture his brows furrowing and frown forming.

“Oh,” David mutters, taken aback by your response. “are you ill?” Worry takes over his tone.

“No, not at all. I’m just super busy with some admin things I’ve left to the last minute. Need to just crash out in my office and get them done.” You lie, hoping he can’t tell. You’re always on top of your admin work, so being behind is highly unlike you.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” David tries to hide his disappointment as you hum in response, hanging up shortly after.

Placing his phone in his pocket, David exits his room with his shoulders slouched forward. “Something up, Dave?” Jason speaks up, breaking from the conversation as David slumps onto the sofa beside Carly almost causing her to spill her coffee.

“Y/n isn’t coming over.” David states, looking up as if it isn’t the biggest surprise and everyone should be alarmed, but they’re not. “You heard me, right?” He reiterates his point, and Jason leans forward.

“Dave, it isn’t a big deal. She’s here nearly every day with you, girls gotta have some down time.” He speaks calmly, seeing David look down at his phone once more hoping you’ll change your mind. “Or maybe she’s just sick of your company.” Jason jokes, but David lifts his head up quickly at the comment.

“Fuck off, Jase.” David scoffs. “But what if she is? Like, she’s barely spoken to me all week, suddenly been super busy with work or helping out Dani with things.” David explains, everyone now captivated in his thoughts.

“Maybe she’s started to see someone.” Erin suggests, and immediately David tenses at the thought. “Or not, I don’t know.” She mutters, looking over to Carly who keeps her eyes on her phone.

Walking out from the room, David heads into the yard as frustration clouds his emotions.

“David, wait.” Natalie follows after him as he clenches his fists, leaning against the railing. “Y/n’s not seeing anyone, I know that much.” She says calmly as David sighs.

“Then why is she not around? I, I miss her being here for me to annoy all the time.” He tries to joke, but Natalie can tell he means it on a deeper level.

“Is there more to why you miss her being here?” Natalie pushes the subject, hoping he’d finally say something.

Sadly, David shakes his head. “I just miss her, alright.” He comments coldly. “I’m going for a drive, I’ll be back later.” He states before walking past Natalie without so much as looking up.

“Fuck.” Natalie sighs as she walks back into the house, hearing the front door close and everyone look up at her with the same confused expression. “He just needs to clear his head.” She excuses him before sitting back down with everyone else, sending you a quick text just in case.

Lying on your bed, you couldn’t tear your gaze from the ceiling, suddenly finding the detailing in the blank canvas fascinating.

“Y/n?” Dani yells your name, quickly followed by the sound of her running up the stairs and appearing at your door. “You’ve got a guest.” She swallows her breath as you turn to face her.

“But I’m busy, clearly.” You sarcastically comment, only encouraging Dani to sit beside you.

“Let me rephrase that.” She sighs. “David is here.”

Quickly you force yourself upright, looking at Dani quizzingly. “You’re not bullshitting me, are you?” Dani shakes her head, and you groan loudly into your hands. “Okay, I, I’ll come on down.” You mutter in defeat, following her footsteps as you descend down the stairs.

As you appear from the railings, David perks up immediately. He can feel his smile growing, even if he can’t see your tired expression just yet. All he knows is that you being home, and willing to see him is enough to make his day.

Appearing fully in his view, David’s smile softens as you face him. “Hey, what’re you doing here?” You ask calmly, but David can see the glances that Dani has toward you.

“I just came to see if you’re doing okay.” David mumbles, suddenly feeling like a child in a staff room at school. “You’ve not been 'round much and everyone's missing you.” He quickly adds, trying to ease the matter by focusing on the others, not just himself.

“Oh,” You think aloud, catching David’s eye. “I, I’m fine just been busy with stuff.” You repeat the same excuse he’s heard countless times now, and David nods.

“But like, is there something we can help with?” He asks, stepping forward as you step back. “I, I’m sorry if I’ve said anything or done something to upset you. You can talk to me, Y/n, you always can.” He raises his voice slightly, and Dani turns around and walks upstairs, leaving you both with some privacy.

Lowering your gaze to the floor, you watch as his feet shuffle against the wooden floorboards. “I can’t right now, David.” You tell him honestly, refusing to look up to see the cocktail of confusion and anger crossing his face. “It’s my fault, but I can’t explain it, not yet at least.”

David furrows his brows together as he focuses on you. “So we’re keeping secrets now?” He scoffs, stepping back as you do too, leaning against your sofa as your hands grip the ledge tightly. “Since when do we keep secrets, Y/n?”

“Since they involve you!” You blurt out, feeling your heartbeat thumping in your eardrums as you look at David, dead in the eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about you, wanting to be with you, being in fucking love with you and it’s driving me crazy!” You’re yelling now, unable to hold it back after so long of keeping everything bottled up.

Remaining in a state of shock, David just stares with wide eyes as he processes everything you’ve just said.

“How long have you felt like this?” He finally speaks up, and you can’t help but laugh as you cover your face with your hands.

“Too long, Dave.” You admit, still hiding your face.

David steps forward, lowering your hands down as he focuses on the worry in your gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Y/n?” He mumbles, but you shake your head.

“Because it’s stupid, you’re my best friend. I, I can’t be in love with you, David.” You explain as if it were obvious.

Shrugging a shoulder, David raises his hand to rest against your cheek. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.” He whispers, leaning in closer as his lips brush yours.

Except, you pull away, falling back onto your sofa. “What’re you doing?” You ask, caught off guard as you stand up straight, the sofa being the obstacle between you both.

“I was going to kiss you, dumbass.” He chuckles, running his hands across his jeans. “Look, I didn’t mean to catch you off guard, it’s just, I feel the same.” David explains, and now it’s your turn to process what he’s just said. “I have for years, just I never thought you’d feel the same so I’ve supressed it. Kinda only realised it whenever you’ve dated some guy.”

“I, sorry,” You stumble over your words.

“Oh for god sake, people!” Dani blurts out, and you both look up to see her peering through the railings. “You love him, he loves you. End of!” She sighs dramatically before retreating back up the stairs, leaving you stood in silence once more.

“I guess this is the part where I ask you on a date then?” David turns to face you, shyly smiling as you move around the sofa and stand in front of him, your fingertips brushing along his.

“Yeah,” You chuckle softly. “I guess that’d be a good start.”

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aphrodites-law · 4 years

Text

A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (9/?) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction. (ao3)

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]

When she opened the café the following week, Clarke didn't expect the first customer to be Gustus. He walked toward her with a slight hunch in his shoulders, holding a large paper bag in front of him.

"Hello, Clarke."

"Hi, Gustus. How are you?"

"Lexa said you were looking for help in the kitchen. Am I too late?"

Clarke blinked in surprise. "Not at all."

Gustus set the bag on the counter. "I don't have much of an education and I don't know proper baking terms. I haven’t worked for anyone in twenty-five years, but I have made and sold baked goods on my family's apiary since my childhood."

He pulled out several containers. "I've brought honey muffins, blueberry tartlets, and a chocolate-walnut pie. Please, have a taste when you can."

"You're… applying to work here?"

Gustus nodded. "I'd like to help in the kitchen."

It was certainly unorthodox, but they had yet to find anyone and Clarke's mouth had already watered at the smell of the pie.

"Gustus, are you sure this is what you want? The hours can be long and we can't afford to negotiate on salary for now."

"Money doesn't matter to me. I have my own land and grow my own food."

"What about your apiary?"

"A hobby more than a business these days. The market made me realize how much I miss…" His eyebrows furrowed as he thought of the word.

"People?" Clarke guessed.

He stroked his beard. "But not so much that I would leave the kitchen."

Clarke chuckled. "I see why Lexa likes you."

"She may pretend otherwise, but Lexa enjoys company too. She would not write the way she does if it weren’t the case."

"No, I don't suppose she would."

They both looked toward the entrance when a customer walked in. Gustus moved to the side.

"I won't keep you longer. Thank you for humoring an old beekeeper."

"Wells will have the final word, but he's badgered me to get more of your honey so the odds are definitely in your favor."

Gustus inclined his head gratefully, a heartwarming sight given he was a foot taller than Clarke and quite intimidating at first glance.

"Have a good day, Clarke."

"You too. And thanks for the treats!"

* * *

Clarke walked over to Lexa's table later that afternoon, finding her deep in research on her laptop with her half-eaten croissant on her plate. They hadn't been able to speak much between orders, but Lexa had looked her way at times and Clarke had managed to catch her eyes. Each time made her stomach swoop, but Clarke was determined to be the one to surprise her for once.

She put her hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"Hi, you."

Lexa turned her head with a slight blush. "Hello."

Clarke sat in front of her, propping her chin on her hand. "Oh I get a hello today. Very formal."

"Is hello formal now?"

"With that tone and those glasses? Yes."

Lexa took off her reading glasses. "Am I being kicked out?"

"Not at all. Stay as long as you want. You can even stay after closing hours."

Lexa's eyes fell to her lips- Clarke's knowing grin. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Mm probably not."

Lexa closed her laptop. "So. Saturday. Doors open at 7pm."

Clarke sat up. "I'm excited. Though Wells has already warned me he'll poison my coffee if I drop any spoilers."

Lexa had offered tickets to Lincoln's play again, though this time she had made it very clear she intended it as a date. Clarke was thrilled to go to the theater after so long, especially since the play was fully booked for a solid six months. Nowhere Ground was a critical darling and word of mouth had worked like a charm.

"I was thinking we could hit Cocoa Street after," Lexa suggested. "Try some of the food trucks?"

"A woman after my heart."

Lexa smiled, her hand inching toward Clarke's on the table. "I figured I'd keep the upscale restaurant for our third date."

"Oh there'll be a third date?"

Lexa looked up from their hands, fingers not quite yet touching. "I would hope so."

"Well I don't know, I'll have to see if you have game."

"I thought you'd gotten a preview already." Lexa's fingers brushed against hers.

Clarke bit her lip. "Not that kind of game."

"What kind, Clarke?" Lexa asked smoothly as her thumb brushed over the back of Clarke's hand.

Clarke shook her head and sat back, letting go of Lexa's hand. "Nu-uh. I'm not falling for that again."

"What's that?"

"That- look. And your voice. You know what."

Lexa let out a small laugh. "I really don't."

"It's like a switch you have. It drives me crazy. But I'm not falling for it. I see you."

"Alright, I'll just be broody and quiet then." Lexa cleared her throat, amused. "Did Gus stop by today?"

Clarke brightened. "Yes. Speaking of, very sneaky of you. Wells is already raving about the chocolate-walnut pie."

"I'm glad. Gus kept asking me if he should make more. I'd never heard him so nervous."

"I didn't even know he baked."

"Never in a professional setting like this, but I can vouch for his impeccable manners. And his food."

"How did you meet him anyway?"

Lexa picked up the last bite of her croissant. "When I was doing research on the Mountain Men, I found out his property is the closest to the bunker site. A few miles down the mountain but still - I figured he had some information that could help me. I introduced myself; said I wanted to honor their story…"

"And you charmed your way into his life," Clarke guessed in a fond tone. She still had a few minutes before Gaia started side-eying her for flirting on the clock (not that it was a regular instance, but Lexa did come in often these days…) and then got Harper to ask endless questions to fuel their gossip mill. "I'm glad you did. I think he'd fit right in."

Lexa nodded, giving her a soft smile while they lingered in their last few seconds of privacy.

* * *

When Saturday night finally came, Clarke thought she might burst from the anticipation. Lexa lived close to the theater, so Clarke had suggested she be the one to pick her up before they walked over. She'd settled on her fancier boots, tights and a red dress, ever aware of the increasingly cold nights. She had her coat on but left it open when she finally arrived, fully leaning on the power of her own cleavage tonight. Slow didn't mean she couldn't have her fun.

"Wow. Um. Hi," Lexa breathed out as soon as she opened the door, eyes darting south of Clarke's lips.

"Now I get a hi," Clarke replied with a grin. She extended the flowers she'd brought on the way. "For you."

"Oh they're beautiful," Lexa said, genuinely surprised. Clarke wondered if she’d ever gotten flowers based on that expression alone. "Thank you," Lexa murmured.

"You're welcome," Clarke hummed. She waited for Lexa to come closer to reach for the sleeve of her shirt. "This is new."

"You don't like it?" Lexa asked.

Clarke almost scoffed. She was fairly certain Lexa knew exactly what she was doing, with her tight slacks and her dark green shirt just a hint sheer enough to see the outline of her bra. Paired with her loose curls and faint perfume, Lexa was already making her dizzy and it was incredibly unfair.

"I didn't say that," Clarke replied, pretending not to notice Lexa was going to kiss her. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Lexa frowned briefly, only to smile a second later as she realized what game Clarke was playing. She'd asked for slow and it seemed like Clarke was taking it to heart. Perhaps a bit too much.

"Please, come in."

While Lexa went to find a vase, Clarke looked around. The apartment was on the small side, but during the day it was most likely brightly lit thanks to the two large windows. The balcony was filled with plants and flowers just as Gaia had once told her, but she hadn't mentioned the various hanging pots throughout the living room. Of course she couldn't have known. Clarke wasn’t sure if she was the first date Lexa had invited here since moving, but the progress in their relationship wasn’t lost on her. She’d never imagined being inside Lexa Woods’ apartment; not even when they’d started their little dance. It had seemed like another world.

Lexa came back with a vase that she set on the table by the window. "They're lovely," she reiterated.

"If I'd known you were so into plants I would've gotten a succulent or something."

Lexa looked around. "Oh those - the hooks were already there when I got here. Indra said the woman before me used to hang candle lanterns. I think she's relieved this place isn't a fire hazard anymore."

"Gaia said you're her favorite tenant."

Lexa smiled sheepishly, but didn't further comment. She glanced at Clarke's neckline before clearing her throat.

"Are you ready?"

Clarke nodded. "Very."

Lexa stepped closer. "You know… I sort of imagined this going differently."

"Oh?" Clarke asked, rooted in place.

"I figured after we'd kissed things would become easier," Lexa explained as she stopped inches from Clarke.

"You imagined us kissing?"

"Yes," Lexa answered honestly. "But I told you that before."

Clarke remembered the confession Lexa had made that night at the café and felt desire pool in the pit of her stomach again. How she’d thought about her; how she’d wanted this- them. She reached for Lexa's shirt, pretending to toy with one of the small buttons.

"It seems like we imagined a lot of things you and I," Clarke replied, swallowing.

Lexa brushed her nose against hers, testing her. Clarke felt her warm breath on her mouth and nearly tasted sweet mint. Her heart beat loudly in her ears until finally she gave in, tilting her head and pulling Lexa in.

The kiss was slow at first; Lexa's full lips pressing firmly against hers. Then Clarke felt her hand cup her neck and Lexa angle for something else, something deeper. She moaned when their tongues brushed and Lexa played with hers, chasing, teasing, while the lingering smell of the flowers mixed with her perfume and saturated Clarke's senses. It felt like she was drunk.

It wasn't the small hello or goodbye kisses they'd exchanged in the week; the hesitant pecks that had preceded the date that had seemed so far away on Monday.

"Are you sure this play is good?" She asked, slightly dazed.

Lexa shook her head, kissing her once more. "It's horrible. Mediocre. Let's bail and stay in."

Clarke let out a small laugh before kissing her again, deeper and slower, wondering if her heart would ever calm down tonight.

"If only."

[part ten]

#clexa #f: a bit of clarity #clarke x lexa #short chappie to get back into it #w

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mintymiknow · 4 years

Text

[ Summer Lovin’ ]

This drabble is part of the 50 Kisses Drabble Challenge! [ Requested: Number 47 + Felix ]

Number 47: A kiss paired with a tight hug, knocking the breath out of the person being hugged

A/N: I’m sorry I’m really slow with the drabbles. I’ve just been very down recently. My anxiety hasn’t gotten much better, and I’m trying to cope with stress in real life and the demands of my school, so yeah. But here’s a little something since you’ve all been patient! I’ll do my best to get better and post more! Ily all!

[implied high school AU]

There was something about the beach that made everything much, much, much better. You know Bang Chan would agree with you - that boy loved the beach. So it was no surprise that when he suggested to stay at a beach resort for a few days since it was your summer break from high school, you immediately agreed.

The sun felt amazing on your skin, recharging every inch of your body as the rays tickled you. You could faintly hear Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Chan shrieking as they rough-housed by the water. Minho seemed to be much more comfortable on the sand, eating fruits with Changbin. Jisung and Seungmin were taking photos and collecting shells.

You were on your own mat, basking in the sun while sipping on a watermelon smoothie from the snack bar nearby. You could fear the scratchy sound of someone walking on the sand towards you, his figure suddenly blocking out a small portion of the sun.

“Y/n is going through photosynthesis again.”

You look up to see Felix grinning at you, his bright smile making up for blocking out the sun. You chuckle, patting the spot next to you, “You say that when you yourself need some photosynthesis too.”

“Point taken.” Felix laughs, sitting next to you.

You hand him your watermelon smoothie, and the male doesn’t hesitate to take a sip. You and Felix were probably the closest pair in the group, and while you undeniably crushed on him since meeting him in your math class in your first year, you were most definitely happy enough with your friendship. There were times you felt like your heart was going crazy, but that usually subsided with ease.

After sipping the smoothie, Felix’s face lights up with delight, letting out a little “oooh” to express his liking to the drink. You chuckle, taking the drink from him. You were about to say something when Hyunjin’s shriek was heard from afar, causing you and Felix to look at each other and burst out laughing.

“Hyunjin screams louder than I do.” you joke.

Felix shakes his head, “Maybe. But when you get scared, you scream like a dying chicken or something.”

“Are you insulting me?” you raise your eyebrow, smirking.

“Oh, look, a pretty shell.” Felix laughs before showing you a pearly white shell.

You end up giggling, shaking your head in amusement. “If you weren’t my best friend, I would have smacked you already.” you say.

Felix shrugs, “But I am your best friend. Too bad.”

He reaches across you to grab your smoothie, taking another sip as he flashes you a bright grin. You can only smile and feel your heart go “boom” with how lovely and pure-hearted the male was. You take the smoothie from him and take a sip as well, hoping that the coldness would be enough to chill the fiery feeling brewing inside you.

You notice from the corner of your eye that Felix is leaning back, staring at the other boys trying to splash or dunk each other in the water. A gentle hum escapes the male’s lips before he suddenly mumbles, “If we’re sharing this smoothie, does that mean we’re kissing indirectly?”

You suddenly choke on your smoothie and detach the straw from your lips. Your cheeks felt hot, but maybe it was just because of the sunny weather. Maybe.

“Indirect kiss? Did you get that from an anime again?” you try to dodge his musings with an attempted joke.

Felix laughs, his eyes crinkling at the sides. He turns his gaze to you, expression as bright as ever. “It’s a serious question, y/n! We share drinks all the time, and I just thought of that now.” the male points out.

You furrow your eyebrows, unconsciously pouting your lips, “Lix, I don’t think there’s such a thing as ‘indirect kisses’. You either kiss or you don’t.”

“Boring.” Felix jokes, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

“Does it bother you that we share drinks?” you ask, “Or, let’s say it is an indirect kiss. Does it bother you that much?”

“It’s not that I’m bothered…” Felix trails off.

You look at the male, trying to guess what he was going to say next. However, your eyes catch how Felix’s gaze shifts from your eyes to your nose, and eventually your lips. Felix finds his attention stuck on your lips, glossy and pinkish in its natural form. You take note of how the expression on your best friend’s face was nervous and quite lost. You feel the imaginary palpitation in your heart, eyes quivering as you lift your gaze back to the male’s own.

“Lix?”

Felix clears his throat and finally rips his gaze from your lips, eyes now back on you. “Sorry, what I meant to say was,” he starts, smile back to being big and bright, “I’m not bothered because I want to actually kiss you.”

“Kiss you?”

“Kiss you, y/n.”

“Me? Kiss me?” you repeat.

Felix laughs, “That’s…that’s what I said.”

You open your mouth to say something, but the words don’t come out. You just sit there, mouth agape as Felix laughs at your speechless state. While you were busy trying to form a coherent word, Felix leans closer, pecking the corner of your lip with a shy and chaste kiss.

Your eyes widen and your cheeks become the same color of your smoothie, much to Felix’s amusement. “Why…why would you…?” you say softly, the distant sound of waves drowning out your voice, so you think Felix wouldn’t hear you.

However, the male did and offered you a gentle smile.

“I like you.”

Were the waves too loud? Was Hyunjin shrieking too much? Was Changbin’s laugh too loud? Did you actually hear correctly?

“You aren’t messing with me?” you flash Felix a nervous grin.

Felix shakes his head, grinning back, “Nope. I really do like you. I always have, and I thought this was the perfect time to tell you since…well, what a way to start the summer, right?”

Maybe it was because of the way Felix was smiling so brightly like the sun. Maybe it was because the watermelon smoothie froze your brain. Or maybe it was the joy and rush of adrenaline you got from Felix admitting that he felt the same as you.

Whatever it was, it prompted you to throw yourself towards Felix, wrapping your arms around his neck in a tight hug. The male let out a quiet “whoa” as your suddenness caught him by surprise, rendering him both speechless and breathless.

You placed a kiss on his lips, tasting watermelon for a brief second before you pulled away, embarrassed by your sudden gesture. You realized what you had done, feeling the heat rush to your face once more.

It was definitely the sun.

“I didn’t…you know, I mean, yeah…” you mumble, averting your eyes from Felix.

The male chuckles, shaking his head before returning the gesture. He pecks your lips three times, reiterating his previous confession of “I like you” after each kiss. When you erupt into a wide grin, Felix beams and chuckles, “Summer break just got you a boyfriend, y/n.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “It’s only right that it’s you.”

Felix leans in to kiss you once more, but a beach ball hits Felix on the head. You both hear Jisung going “oh no” before getting ready to sprint. Felix winks at you before getting up, yelling a quick “come back here Han Jisung!” as he runs after his friend.

You sit there, watching the two chase each other across the sand as the other boys yell in glee.

You loved summer breaks and beaches.

And you surely loved it more with Felix.

#stray kids #felix #lee felix #felix scenario #felix imagine #felix drabble #lee felix scenario #lee felix imagine #lee felix drabble #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #stray kids drabble #skz #scenario #imagine #drabble #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #50 kisses drabble challenge

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violetsdicaprio · 4 years

Note

“You!” with Tommy Shelby x Shelby sister angst please? If not then that’s fine ahaha🖤

Anon: Request where Tommy Shelby finds out his daughters been sleeping and sneaking out with a rival gangsta please

Romeo and Juliet

-Part 1

Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Sister! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, just Peaky Blinders themes.

A/N: I thought these two requests blended well, so here’s what I came up with! Also, when this request popped up, i thought i was in trouble 😂

“WHERE IS SHE?” THE VOICE OF Arthur Shelby boomed as he entered the den. Groups of men scrambled towards the 4 walls, trying to avoid the wrath of the man with the brutal reputation. “John! Have you seen Y/N?” He asked as he approached the boy by the black board.

“Upstairs.” John replied, shaking his head at whatever rivalry had got into: again.

Bolting up the stairs, his heavy footfall could be heard against the rotting wood as he called, “Y/N!”

A faint voice mumbled, “Shit.” then an “Out, out.” before the slamming of a window. “What do you want, Artie?” The same voice called back, almost mocking him with the nickname she came up with when she was 3.

“Open the fuckin’ door.” Arthur demanded as he tried to jiggle the door open but it was locked.

“I’m changing.” She snapped back, which was true but wasn’t the only reason. The heavy foot falls was once again heard trailing back downstairs as he sulked away, allowing Y/N to crack the window open revealing the dashing boy she’d been sneaking around with for the last year. “Sorry.” She whispered, a smirk played on the boys lips.

“Was worth it.” His deep voice replied before he winked, causing the girl to blush lightly and giggle. No one else but Mattia Sabini -Eldest son of Darby Sabini- had ever made her feel this way, it was corny, she thought. Yet it was true; her hard exterior completely dissolved when around him and it was the same with him…

“See you at the cut, later?” he asked and when the sudden movement from the hallways began to make them both panic, she pecked his lips.

“See you there.” she smiled as he jumped down and she closed and locked the window. Combing through her hair, she took the crazy strands behind her ear and zipped up the back of her dress, making sure she looked presentable…

Gracefully, she walked down the stairs, earning tilts of caps and bows of head from the men in the shop. Unlike the brothers who were feared, Y/N was respected, she was selfless and polite towards everyone -much to her brothers dismay- but she was the beam of light Small Heath needed to keep going!

“There you are.” Polly stated, her nose flared: oh she was mad. Y/N was quick to spin around to see her Aunt and Brother, cross armed staring at her.

“What now?” The 18 year old rolled her eyes aggressively looking severely unimpressed by her family. Polly went to speak when Ada came marching in, followed by a red faced Finn and an out of breathe Isiah. “Yeyyy!” She spoke in a monotone voice. “One big happy family: reunited.” She added in a sarcastic tone, before her face dropped blank. A cold sneer on her face as she looked between them all, never mind the boys, her coldness sent a chill down Polly’s spine…

“Family meeting.” Arthur grumbled, all of them draped into the kitchen whilst Y/N held back, wanting to get away. You see, Y/N used to be close with her family, she really did but war changed them; all of them. Over time, she watched her Aunt deteriorate with fear, Ada got rid of the blanket - seeing how truly vile the world is. The boys came back almost unrecognisable, it hurt her more then anything else. Y/N hadn’t changed, still kind and caring as ever. It was only since there changed ways started to have an influence, she turned colder then the bleak midwinter. That’s the only way to survive this family, you see they tried to protect her, even more so then Finn! It drove her crazy, they acted as if they were the victim but with recent events her own family were becoming the enemy. So along with her cold exterior came her rebelliousness, her and Mattia were supposed to be temporary, they both wanted to break from their families hold but when the two were together it was a great enough escape as it was. However, the Shelby’s had one thing they all still had in common was their hatred to a certain Inspector Campbell.

Tiptoeing away from her family, she saw the one pig that made her blood turn cold and the colour to wash from her face. His sickening smirk was upon his lips, directed towards the young girl. Shivering as her chest began to rise rapidly, she knew he had a certain reputation with women and he hadn’t tried to hide his feeble attempts towards the young girl. Just as his eyes lingered on her, she felt completely dirty. Before she could say something, he flashed a chain she knew all too well.

Y/N’s eyes widened in slight horror, the silver cross gleamed in the dull sunlight as the family gem stone of the Sabini’s flashed in front of her eyes. Oh shit. He’s been watching, probably for months, watching me. She thought. Her heart was pumping so fast the girl presumed she would explode. Y/N knew if her dirty secret got out, it’d collapse the whole family and any progress they’d made -even if she didn’t agree with what they did. To be honest, she was the core to this family. Y/N kept them all sane and in order, Polly knew this, that’s why she pushed her niece away, that’s what she thought would be best for Y/N and the family. Yet Y/N just wanted to feel loved, like before…

Without realising, the Inspector had approached her. Gulping at the closeness, she tumbled back.

“Now, Miss Shelby, seems you have been busy.” His thick Irish accent filled her ears, causing her to shiver.

“Leave me alone.” She expressed weakly, internally scolding herself for it.

“But I think you could be great for the cause. Smart and clearly” he paused, holding up the chain. “Sly.”

Snatching the chain, she glared at the man who continued to smirk. “I don’t know where you fucking got this but you dare utter a single word of this, I’ll cut off your hands and bury you face down in a ditch.” She snarled, she done it once before, Campbell could be next for all she cared.

“Ah, maybe not the brightest. Threatening an Inspector.” he tutted, edging even closer.

A burst of anger fuelled her confidence as she leaned in, whispering “I don’t think the court would care, you didn’t even fight for your country. Your as good as dead to them already.” She whispered maliciously, the devilish smirk and twinkle in her eye reminded all that she was a fucking Shelby.

Walking backwards she watched his face fall flat, almost embarrassed. About to laugh, her body collided with another causing her to turn rapidly. Fuck. Thomas Shelby stood there slightly amused at the Inspectors reaction but his face faltered. Before she could slip away, he spoke “You!” he spoke harshly, “Family meeting.” Simply, she groaned.

“Don’t make me go, Tom.” She huffed, but it was too late she was already dragged by the arm. “Look! I found him.” Y/N announced as if she hadn’t tried to escape, slumping in the seat by John who she still got along with - slightly. “Alright Jo-Jo” she teased him with the old nickname.

“Yeeah, Yeah, shurrup.” he muttered back in a jokingly tone. The two sat and watched as the rest argued back and forth until Tommy turned to stare in their direction when Ada stormed out, scanning over his two younger siblings. Y/N never looked more interested in her life.

“Right, everyone out.” he called. “Not you.” he directed at Y/N who sat back down with a huff. She even noticed Pol linger by the door, not sure if she wanted to leave the two alone: she did.

“What do you want Tom?” she asked cautiously.

“What was Campbell speaking to you about?” he asked calmly, sitting down opposite her whilst lighting a cigarette and she did the same. Inhaling quickly.

“Oh you know, just casual chitter chatter.” She remarked sarcastically, not wanting this conversation to continue. Simply laughing at his intense glare as she did the same. Piercing blue eyes clashing with each other.

“Am I Laughing?” He asked rhetorically.

“No but you should, might melt your cold heart.” She snapped back, had enough of his games. Although he didn’t show it, her comments did nip. everyone who was on the receiving end felt the nip, she was brutal and more importantly very personal. “Now, excuse me.” She spoke.

“I know what your fuckin’ doing.” He seethed, not one to let out his anger but she could easily pull everyone’s trigger, it was a gift. “Your gonna end up dead with him, probably thrown to the bottom of the cut.”

Stopping dead in her tracks, her heart pricked repeatedly. Her wrists curled into balls. “What i’m doing?” She exclaimed. “I’ve done nothing.”

“The Sabini’s are dangerous, I thought you of all people would understand.” He returned to his calm state after a few puffs of tobacco.

Y/N just scoffed. “Sounds familiar doesn’t it, Tom? Falling for the enemy. I thought you of all people would understand.” She reiterated, causing a moment of silence.

Tommy huffed, “I’m worried for ya. You’re my sister.”

Y/N exhaled in a chuckle. “You care?” she shook her head. “No, all you fucking care about is business.”

“Y/N/N.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Her voice cracked slightly. “I tried. I fucking tried with you all. You pretend to care about family. All you want is power and money. If i turned up dead in the cut, you wouldn’t even shed a single fucking tear.” Y/N boomed, her temper rising and with the look on Tommy’s face, she was satisfied. Picking up her coat, she ran out to the den frantically. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Pol was quick to see Tommy who was sat there with his head in his hands.

“Y/N?” Arthur asked, placing his arm on his sisters’ shoulder only to be shoved away.

“Fuck off!” She screamed, causing the whole place to fall silent never seeing the girl so angry; an angel soon turned the devil. In a split second she was gone.

Bang.

Everyone stared at the door then turned to Arthur who was now on his way to Tommy with a murderous look plastered across his face…

#Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #bbc peaky blinders #Peaky Blinders #PEAKY FOOKIN BLINDERS #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby #sister!reader #Arthur Shelby #John Shelby

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

Text

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them.

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing.

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages.

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’.

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #lady plantagenet's series reviews #catherine of aragon #henry viii #mary tudor queen of france #margaret tudor #charles brandon #margaret pole

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