#and like. some of it was toxic masculine bullshit like no crying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kittenfangirl20 · 3 days

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*Angel Dust notices that Adam would flinch whenever Lilith was brought up, when he saw her in the family portrait in Charlie’s office his eyes widened in fear and when the possibility of her one day coming back was talked about between Charlie and Lucifer the first man abruptly stood up and left the room, Angel Dust decided to one day talk to Adam about it, they went to Angel Dust’s room and he placed Fat Nuggets on Adam’s lap so he could pet him since Adam had a soft spot for the little pig*

Angel Dust: Do you want to tell me why whenever the former Queen of Hell is brought up you get afraid. Do you think that Lucifer will choose her over you, he won’t because he has such a good thing going on.

Adam: It isn’t that, I am just afraid that if Lilith comes back and finds out that I am with Lucifer, she will hurt me like she used to in Eden. I am also afraid that she will hurt Eve too since I love her and Lucifer now loves her too.

Angel Dust: How would she hurt you?

*Angel Dust is afraid what the answer will be*

Adam: She would mainly slap me or pinch me hard enough to leave bruises that I would have to make excuses for if an angel saw. One day she was so angry at me she grabbed a rock and used it to hit the area between my legs. I had to spend the day just laying there because it hurt to move. Frankly I was shocked to find out it still functioned. She also liked to talk about how ugly she found me and that no one could ever love me. Once she tried to kidnap Cain and Abel when they were babies and when I tried to stop her she nearly beat me to death since I was still a human and she had become a demon at that point.

*Angel Dust was upset to see his new friend start to cry as he talked about Lilith*

Angel Dust: That is fucked up, Lilith wrote an entire book crying about how she ran away from Eden because you were such a controlling asshat when the truth was that she was abusing you.

*Adam bit his lower lip hard enough to cause some blood to be drawn*

Adam: That can’t be true, some of my descendants have said that men can’t be abused by women and he is pathetic if he lets himself be hit by a woman and he isn’t a true man.

Angel Dust: That is some toxic masculinity bullshit right there. A man can be abused by a woman and Lilith abusing you doesn’t make you less of a man. No wonder you felt the need to act like some over the top frat boy, you were hiding how hurt you had been. If you need to talk to someone, I am here for you since we are best friends. Though you should tell Lucifer too because he needs to know the truth.

Adam: I can’t, even though he is no longer married to Lilith he still seems to hold her in some high regard, I don’t want to ruin the image he has of her.

*Angel Dust sits by Adam and places one of his arms around the shoulders of the first man*

Angel Dust: I am not expecting you to tell him today, but he should know because if she ever decides to come back to Hell, he will need to know she may try to pull the same bullshit.

#mentions abuse #mentions toxic masculinity #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #sinner adam #adam #angel dust #angel dust being the best #adam and angel dust being friends #fat nuggets

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mejomonster · 2 years

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i should join an ax throwing club. there’s an lgbt one in my area. im not healthy enough to be running nonstop for hours yet again. but boy can i throw hard o3o

#rant #1 i got to throw axes 2 weeks ago and man i was so good at it #2 entirely unrelated #yall know how im nonbinary. which mostly for me means im bigender #and i feel like a guy 90% of the time but i identify with feelin like a girl at times so im nonbinary #also i just. do not care about gender for myself. except that its stupid theres ways society views u based on how u look as a stranger #real stupid if i tell someone im a guy or girl how they tend to treat me different. so like. aside from that no i dont care about gender muc #anyway it is. so funny to me in hindsight how my parents raised me in so many traditionally masculine ways (but of course #whats usual for raising a boy depends on the culture and family lol. because while its typically how u raise a boy #my family was raising ALL the girls this way so it was the expectations put on us FOR being girls)#and like. some of it was toxic masculine bullshit like no crying #no emotions. do stuff on your own. be strong. be independent. never ask for help. be successful or we punish u. u dont deserve emotional #support etc. :/#but then other stuff was like? just expectations kinda generally put on boy kids.#like oh mejos covered in dirt cause kids play outside and get messy. she played fighting outside cause all kids do. she can go fix the #fence or heater or washing machine cause 'all kids' can repair stuff. she can go fix the wiring or tv or cable. she can go put oil in the ca #car. she's got to play sports EVERY YEAR cause a lil girl HAS to play sports. shes GOT to be tough cause lil girls DONT cry #she cant complain unless she literally needs the hospital cause big girls don't cry when they get hurt. they suck it up and get over it #alone. also kind of niche stuff tho #like how boys get conditioned more often to solve problems than learn social skills (legos versus dolls). how boys tend to expect #to solve a problem when communicating. so i hear stuff and wanna go fix things. i like feeling needed. whereas usually girls #get conditioned to empathize as first response and that as 2nd. and vice versa.#in fact i only learned emotional empathy communication as a teen with friends cause ooh boy my mom communicates like a typical closed off gu #so does my dad. (tho he does try some empathy communication skills cause its how he'd try to talk to me - since he felt i should be emotiona #lly supported. but still needed to learn to fix things on my own. which was annoying. aqlways fixing everything myself -.-)#anyway just. its funny to me in retrospect how EXCEPT for the beauty/clothing standards when i hit age 10 (and sudden expectation #to smile and pleasantly give ppl things before they ask). i was otherwise entirely socialized like my dad probs was #and moms probs was. and for some reason my mom mustve gotten raised like a little boy usually does. or decided it was better for her kids #to raise them like that? like. as a result i think my sister and me and my nieces ALL got fairly masculine social skills #and hobbies and internal expectations. its just for us thats also what a 'girl' is supposed to be. so genders stupid

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theshadowrealmitself · 1 year

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I really don’t wanna compare peoples’ traumas, but after Shawn had been shot, kidnapped, shoved in the back of the trunk (for I’m guessing one hour minimum), chased through the woods, kidnapped again, and had jumped onto the hood of a moving car to escape one of his kidnappers, no one had treated him anywhere close to as nicely as they’re all treating Jules after her kidnapping

They didn’t even mention what happened to Shawn in the next episode!!! What the fuck

#psych #psych season 4 spoilers #psych season 5 spoilers #shawn spencer #juliet o’hara #I don’t wanna compare their trauma #but also one is a trained detective and one is not #this feels like…either the infantilization of women (especially a white woman)#or #some toxic masculinity ‘we can’t let men cry’ bullshit #or maybe both #hmmmm #still holding out hope they’ll treat Shawn and Gus better in later episodes #maybe they’re just still trying to figure out how to do character development while keeping the overall tone of the show relatively light

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rewritingcanon · 6 months

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i’ve seen relationship therapists and psychologists analyse hermione and ron’s relationship and conclude that they wouldn’t work out in the long run. they’ve argued for hermione to be with harry, krum, even DRACO (don’t understand how a counsellor can vow for canon dramione but alright) as an alternative partner for hermione since ron is “too insecure” to be with her and match her intelligent prowess or what have you.

i seriously don’t understand this sentiment. ron and hermione genuinely seem (almost) perfect to me, maybe not in the movies (a common denominator of people who don’t like romione is that they always cite evidence from the movies, since the films took a lot away from ron’s character and his growth), but definitely in the books.

looking at ron’s insecurities, a lot of people dredge his inferiority complex up to toxic masculinity primarily, when it was more explored how it was an effect of his home life (not gonna argue toxic masculinity wasn’t a factor, they’re teenagers in the 90s written by a pretty misogynistic woman so…). he was the youngest son out of how many children? all of his older brothers were brilliant in some way. bill was an extremely gifted spellcaster, charlie was gifted with magical beasts, percy’s academic score was unmatched, and fred and george (despite their trouble) were entrepreneurial inventor-geniuses. ron, on the other hand, was quite literally born a disappointment to his mother, who conceived him specifically because she wanted a daughter, whilst ginny was born her favourite (though, even then, ginny was gifted at quidditch). ron was mediocre in every sense of the word, and his two best friends were harry (one of the most famous wizards) and hermione (the smartest witch of her age yada yada). and i’ve seen people argue that harry was more welcomed by molly into the weasley household than ron ever was. this isn’t even mentioning the amount of bullshit he copped for being poor (people always downplay the blow to confidence being in poverty can have on a person who is constantly surrounded by people who not only have more, but look down on him for simply being unlucky as to not have what they do).

so yeah, ron was an envious kid, but he was that way not because he was an evil patriarchal conception but because he was lowkey neglected. and even then he was overall an extremely devoted and loyal friend to both harry and hermione, because he did genuinely love them.

there were many moments of ron standing up for hermione that was cut from the films, not as a guy who was romantically interested in her, but as a friend. ron arguing with snape for making hermione cry is one of my fav scenes in the books ru kidding me, and in the movies he AGREED with snape RU KIDDING ME. not to mention how ron was a sobbing violent mess when hermione was getting tortured in the last book, whereas he wasn’t nearly as bothered in the films. and the films cut out harry being a dick to ron about his familial concerns (in dh), so when ron left it seemed like a random dickish move over his jealousy towards harry and hermione’s relationship.

there’s also a million moments where they minimised ron’s usefulness in the books for comedic purposes (forbidden forest with aragog, troll scene, devils snare scene) so ron seems dumber than he is. like, he’s actually smart and a really good spellcaster…. in the books.

so simply by stating this most of the arguments against romione become void. “he’s too stupid/weak for her” simply not true. “he’s a terrible friend who doesn’t stand up for her” also not true. “he’s too insecure to have made a move on her,” yes, but given the context i don’t think people would freak on about ron’s upbringing, i think many would be more understanding, especially considering his growth. even if he wasn’t insecure, hermione is beyond incredible and is bound to make anyone nervous when pursuing her (not an excuse for ron to act like a dick, but it does explain a lot where the movies don’t). “they argue too much” they bump heads, none of the arguments they have are actually super damning, with the exception of ron leaving in deathly hallows.

maybe i’ve covered everything (excluding the abhorrent amount of classism that clouds people’s judgments around how they view ron when harping about how hermione deserves better? hopefully).

now, i know people won’t like me mentioning the cursed child, but i’m going to considering we actually get an insight of their life as a longterm married couple there. a lot of ron stans hated how ron was the only character that wasn’t doing something incredible. harry was head of the aurors, ginny was a famous quidditch player retired to a famous journalist, neville was a hogwarts professor, hermione was quite literally minister on magic. and ron…. ran the joke shop with george.

and i think this was almost the perfect route to go down for ron. because he was average, and was perfectly fine with just being average. hello?? that speaks leagues of growth for his character. he’s supportive of hermione’s work, he grounds her when she gets too caught up in being the literal president of wizarding society, and he still viciously defends her, minister or not. in fact, he’s proud to simply be known as hermione’s husband because he doesn’t feel the need to prove to anyone else his worth. the people he loves most know his worth, hermione never downplays or underestimates him, they are complete equals in the relationship in every single way that matters. they kept ron’s best qualities whilst making him seem more of a healed person. they work so well as a married couple without it seeming like mischaracterisation (not to mention the cursed child literally shows how those two are in love in every reality, so there quite literally can’t be a better partner for hermione or ron according to canon).

so i really don’t understand how professional relationship counsellors can go online and denounce it. probs because they only watched the movies, but it’s 2023 and ron stans should not STILL be fighting for their lives trying to defend him from people who simply don’t consume media with as much depth (which is fine, but one should clarify if they’re talking about the movies because i’ve seen people state they’re talking about the hp BOOKS when it’s simply just…. the films). anyways. romione on top, thanks to coming to my ted talk.

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bonesandpoemsandflowers · 9 months

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my bohemian ass woke up at noon on a friday so I'm not firing on all cylinders yet, but there is this important distinction in the novel, The Phantom of the Opera, and the musical The Phantom of the Opera. I understand why a novel length distinction is cut for time and narrative tidiness for a medium that happens on stage, but I think people draw some very unfair, unflattering and incorrect conclusions from the stage that they port into their reading of the novel.

that is: Erik, the phantom of the opera, knows about Christine and Raoul's engagement and he's actually totally cool with Christine's plan. This is not incel behavior. This is not ~toxic masculinity~ or whatever contemporary bullshit you want to spew on the intentionally sympathetic monster in gothic literature. Raoul is supposed to leave on a naval expedition to the north pole. Christine's plan is to be engaged with him until he leaves. "This is a happiness that will hurt no one," she says. I don't have the exact quote for it but later on she relates how Erik knows and approves, at least of this intended to be limited engagement engagement. Why? Because he's the happiest of men with Christine, and he wants Raoul to experience that happiness. He does also expect Raoul to, you know, fucking leave when he's supposed to, but still. Christine and Raoul are romping around the Opera, kissing and crying together, and our ghost dude here is just like: good for them.

What sets him off is not the idea of a romantic rival. He does not, imo, feel "entitled" to Christine's love or whatever batshit nonsense the Erik-as-incel narrative huffs like paint fumes. What sets Erik off is how Christine has lied to him: not about the engagement, but about the degree of visceral disgust she feels for Erik specifically as a result of his deformity. She details, in graphic detail, how she closes her eyes instead of looking upon him, how she tells him that she only averts her eyes because she is in awe of his genius. She tells Raoul how horrible even physical proximity to Erik is, how grotesque his face is, how the horror of an animated corpse proclaiming his love to her is--well, horrible, and horrifying. Erik is on the floor, on his knees, kissing the hem of her dress, and Christine has her eyes closed the whole time.

I also think contemporary audiences can't handle that. They need Christine to be a pure and wholesome Good Girl (regressive bullshit), who is the victim of an evil evil man, and only the victim (also regressive bullshit). But also because she is a female character in the contemporary mind, she is allowed no flaws. She must reject Erik because he is a bad man. It would be ableist otherwise, yes? And the contemporary audience cannot handle lack of physical beauty being the reason. There can be no nuance to Christine's reactions. She is Good. Erik is Bad. That's all there is to it. The audience member is so sure that they themselves are above moral reproach, too. That's what is at stake here, also.

Never mind that Christine herself, repeatedly, notes that Erik is right when he says that if she thought he was handsome, she would stay. Never mind that when Raoul asks her if she would still love him if Erik were handsome, Christine declines to reply.

To be clear: this is not a Christine bashing post. I think her complexity here is fascinating. I hate a flat one note ingénue and that's not what she IS, and it pains me that fic authors write her that way, as if it's superior. No! Here she's human and she's magnificent! She's conflicted! Erik is alluring but also in ways that are no fault of his own, terrifying.

We gloss over the intended body horror of the novel. I know I do. I forget that he smells like rot and death, that he's cold and clammy to the touch, that he moans like a ghoul, that is supposed to have a gaping nose hole and eyes you can only see in the dark.

I don't think Christine is wrong to lie. But it's easy to understand, if you let yourself, how betrayed the monster might feel when he finds out about all this concealed disgust.

So, two points here

The rage upon being unmasked isn't just because he's unmasked and she broke a rule or whatever. It's the death of his whole gambit and his last hope, and Erik is, canonically, very smart. He knows this. He knows his face IS the issue. He knows it is THE issue. He reads Christine correctly in that the Angel of Music bit is ultimately forgivable in her eyes, and she likes that he brought down her favorite horse, she absolutely is there for their shared spiritual musical raptures. I want people to understand this: ERIK IS RIGHT about his own situation, a LOT of the time. He comes to some bad conclusions after, but in terms of understanding what's happening around him, he's accurate.

And so the rage and despair post Apollo's Lyre isn't "oh no, she loves Raoul," or even "how dare she, that SLUT," as some people make it out to be. It's the realization that he's been a monster to her this whole time. All this time he thought that she saw him as a man, and she has not. All the presumably good memories he has of her and her two weeks she lived with him are now revealed as lies. She's been enduring this whole time, not acclimating. She feels horror. She feels, again, disgust. She's shuddered at the touch of his hand in hers and put on a brave face and he's believed her up until this point, and he's having his physical inadequacies and his uncharacteristic naiveté described in excruciating detail to his romantic rival. He probably feels real fuckin stupid, on top of all else. He's been duped. He also feels disgusting and unlovable, because Christine has just repeatedly described him as disgusting and unlovable.

It is, of course, wildly incorrect to then decide to blow up an opera house about it.

But it's not entitled incel behavior and that's such a boring and contemporary narrative to shove a beautiful example of gothic literature into. Intellectually lazy and artistically myopic. I think most of us, if we're honest with ourselves, can think of a time we thought somebody liked us--maybe romantically or sexually but also maybe not, maybe just as a friend, as a bestie--and we turned out to be very wrong, because the person was just being polite or avoiding awkwardness or whatever. That is: they lied, in a very understandable and justifiable and socially expected way. And how did that feel, dear reader? Not great, right?

The point of the phantom of the opera is that it's a bunch of normal human experiences turned up to the max, dialed into a sublime hum that goes so hard it turns inhuman and terrible. It's that what makes a monster, what makes a man line, which is only interesting to walk if it's identifiably very human in parts. So Erik isn't just romantically rejected: he is rejected in just about EVERY way possible, besides his divinity of music. And this is supposed to the story of his entire life, over and over again, just most vividly and poignantly illustrated by his failure with Christine, when he most desperately wants to be just like everybody else.

And I think it's a shame to lose that very basic narrative and thematic point, but also a shame to lose the nuance of: Erik wants to share his happiness with Raoul. He loves Christine so, so much that he seems to find Raoul's lovesick desire very relatable. Of course, who wouldn't allow his fellow man a glimpse of heaven? And I just chose my words carefully there, if not the rest of the post. In his approval of Christine and Raoul's playful engagement, Erik is briefly engaging on a man-to-man level. He feels human about it. And when he feels human and accepted as human, instead of a walking horror show, he's immediately kind of gracious.

It's when he finds out that he's been a monster and not a man this whole time, in the eyes of his beloved and his rival, that he seems to go: I'll show you what a monster is.

#long post #poto #poto meta #gaston leroux #no proofreading we die like men #my personal belief is that you are absolutely allowed to tell a bunch of socially comfortable lies to get the hell out of dodge #when I'm like “so Christine lied” my intended undercurrent is AND GOOD FOR HER. GOOD JOB.#but also #my personal belief is also that he (erik) (the phantom) (whatever) is still very fuckable despite literally everything #text

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allthinky · 7 months

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Ed Won't Hurt Stede

I've been thinking about this since I first started reading "fix-it" fics last summer. There is one school of thought about Ed's "Kraken era," that he is so angry at Stede for leaving him on that dock, and that if Stede comes back and tries to reconcile, Ed will try to hurt or kill him.

At first I was happy to just enjoy the drama (and pathos) of it all, but eventually it dawned on me that this is a really fucked up narrative.

I am an academic, do some gender analysis on occasion, and one thing that's pretty much a rule is that if a woman wants to leave a hetero relationship, she gets to do that. So many women are killed by their partners, or ex-partners, because the man in the hetero pairing just cannot stand to be left alone, cannot stand his "wife" or whatever showing that kind of autonomy. He owns her, he tells her what's acceptable, etc.

I'm obviously gonna keep this short, and overly simplistic, but it struck me just how awful it would be if Ed (Blackbeard, the Kraken) assaulted Stede when Stede returns. Yes, Stede's not a woman, and yes, these are pirate-y contexts where violence does a lot of communicative work (LOL). But fuck it. I know we get Olu suggesting that Ed will murder Stede, and Stede is clueless and the thing gets played a bit for laughs. (That's a "Friends" call out? I wouldn't know.)

If we know one thing, it's that Ed and Stede love each other. They don't always know it themselves, but we get to know this as the audience. I don't know whether Ed will want to hurt Stede in the show, to express his anger and hurt that way. But I hope he doesn't.

Ed didn't take up violence as his tool in response to Stede's disappearance until the confrontation with Izzy. Shoving Lucius overboard and marooning the Crew were horrible, but are maybe the pirate equivalent of avoiding your ex's friends after a break up. And, of course, the only way he can maintain his Blackbeard persona, which seems like his only choice in the aftermath of the Izzy confrontation.

But "punishing" Stede for leaving him (which, we know, is not really what Stede did but Ed certainly assumes that it's what happened) is the epitome of ugly, toxic, patriarchal, masculine bullshit that I think Jenkins &Co. are trying to critique.

A lover/partner who leaves their lover/partner should not be punished, despite the fact that it's a kind of betrayal. And here's hoping that however Ed and Stede reunite, OFMD will make that as clear as possible, on the way to making us laugh and cry some more.

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #gentlebeard #how pretentious is this?#really #on a scale of 1-10 #ugh

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dekusleftsock · 1 year

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Okay the worst part about what bones did? Like, regardless of romance, ships, whatever, this is just another example onto the PILE that already exists of people trying to treat mha like how every other shonen should act.

Shonen and shojo aren’t like… genres, but they are categories that generally follow a lot of the same tropes. The reason why I personally enjoy shojo more is because it lacks a lot of the fan service (usually) and imo is just better at adapting and evolving what it means to be apart of the category. Like madoka magica, which birthed the popularity of the psychological horror genre WITHIN shojo.

Shonen, however, has evolved a little bit, but not nearly as much. Generally, the same 10 tropes are used, no matter the anime/manga, (with some exceptions ofc okay, I’m not blind) and because of this expectation, it makes those like the director, I’m assuming, and the fandom, have certain expectations on what should happen in a shonen. When mha doesn’t follow that format, people either get mad about it, write it off, or, in bones’ case, completely change it.

Now I’m not saying they always alter things, or even that they are altering anything for season 6. I think it would upset everyone involved if they just randomly changed the writing.

What I am saying though is that they’re playing into the same toxic tropes shonen has been following for decades. Decades!

Boys can’t be vulnerable, and if they are, they are either a small child, it’s for a joke, or it’s for their female love interest. Usually the male “best friend” (or in bkg’s case closest person☺️) is only allowed to be vulnerable, touchy, outshine the female love interest intimately, etc when the female love interest either can’t, or they are helping the female love interest be intimate.

Because, god forbid we let boys cry! Toxic masculinity! I need to project onto this super strong male character, and that means they can’t be emotional OR gay!

When they did this, it wasn’t just about how Izuku is defining ochako’s character, it wasn’t just about how iida and Katsuki’s moments were completely glossed over.

It was about how we continue to let toxic masculinity define our characters and their relationships.

Ochako and her moments, her story, her character is being defined by the male main character. By her “accepting her feelings” completely dismisses her hero career, her story.

“Oh but she can learn she can be a wife AND a hero!” But does she want that? Has she actually EVER wanted that??? Or has someone defined that for her?

She’s just not the focal point of this arc, not in the slightest, and yet here we are. Here we fucking are. Is toga mentioned once in this intro? Hell no. Ofc she’s not. Because that would seem too suspicious.

Anime only’s, please just read the manga. It’s prettier, more accurate to canon, a different perspective on Katsuki, Izuku, Ochako, and Toga, and won’t pull this bullshit.

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houseofbreadpakoda · 6 months

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Rant ahead

My dad has always and continues to tear me down every chance he gets. And however hard I try to cut him off, cause i know his opinions are worthless, I just can't. I got into a college out of my league, after trying so freaking hard, he told me i would've gotten into the jee batch had I worked hard. I try recording a song, he tells me I should study instead of doing "random bullshit". I finally instill some academic confidence in myself after crying about it everyday for months, he straight up tells me I'm a failure. I dress masculine, he has a problem, I dress up feminine, he judges me so motherfucking hard. I live my life in peace, he dumps me into hell. Hell, he won't even let me cry in peace. I'm too privileged to have any problems in my life, and it is my stupidity that I'm not making any use of my opportunities. Every two seconds of my life, he'll bring up how smart 7 year old me was, not realising that how he chose to educate me is the reason I have such a horrible relationship with studies. My mom does support me, and asks me to cut off toxic people like him from my life. And I want to. But it's horribly hard when life isn't all flowers and you have this one man who can only focus on the fucking thorns. So much so that even flowers look like thorns to him. As rude as this may sound, I will never be able to accept myself as his daughter. I cannot. It's something he's made me feel from years, and I'm still only 17. His words have made me want to kill myself, and I'm scared that if I stay around him longer, the thoughts might return.

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davekat-sucks · 1 year

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So what made you choose sprites that take away characters black features like roxys textured hair, flat nose, and full lips. Or the one that made Jane skinny. Thats a little weird

For Roxy, the edited sprite is at least consistent with how she would look like as an adult. Why have her hair all curly if she would grow up to have it straight and have volume? Even Rose's Alpha Mom self stayed true to what she had looked like when she first appeared in both webcomic and Pesterquest.

If it's not for the color scheme and Vodka Mutini on the shirt, the Roxy on the left would be someone's OC. I know all the sprites were made by different artists, but still seems unprofessional if you don't have a set rules for what the art style should be. There's a time and place for interpretations, and it is not for a game like Pesterquest by WhatPumpkin, who is already taking their long ass time to finish a Kickstarter game by their shitty leader, Andrew Hussie. If you believe that Jane is fat, then you are just proving the toxic masculinity character, CALIBORN, right, that he was right to call her a fat ugly whore. It's not an "insult", she was just acknowledging her body weight, despite the fact Jane herself was screaming and crying, telling Caliborn to stop with the insults. It's about as bullshit as people thinking Karkat calling Nepeta autistic is him noticing her mental disability, not as a genuine insult because characters like Caliborn and Karkat are assholes in general.

Congrats, nu-fandom. You proved Caliborn right all along. The character you despised to label him as problematic and represent the "bad side of Homestuck", correct that he is allowed to call Jane a fat ugly whore.

I don't mind you guys made Caliborn right. He was pretty based. The only saving grace from Act 6. Let's not forget that whenever they are shown in Hero Mode, they are thin. Some say it is just an art style from Hussie to make them look epic. But it is the only time we ever get to see them not rendered in the overworld artstyle that takes up most of the comic. Kind of funny too that the Hero Mode artstyle started with SPADES SLICK in the Intermission. Snowman then came after him as the first female to use this look. Following this, the humans had their Hero Modes first shown in flash vids. The first human that's not Andrew Hussie to be drawn like this in a non-flash vid was Jade Harley. After Rose, John would be the first boy. But if you want the first true human that started Hero Mode look, then it's Dave Strider as the first boy with Rose Lalonde as the first girl via flash vids.

#Homestuck #Pesterquest #Roxy Lalonde #Caliborn #Jane Crocker

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beepboop358 · 2 years

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Whether platonic or romantic, Byler is an example of a really strong, wholesome, and meaningful close relationship between two boys. Their connection isn’t rooted in dirty jokes, rivalry over women, toxic masculinity, any of the bullshit ways male friendship is often depicted in shows or experienced in real life. You can look to them as a model and say, “See, guys can be vulnerable, they can cry, they can show genuine affection for each other.” It’s similar to Chris and Gordie’s amazing friendship in Stand By Me (which some might argue is also queer coded). Do you think Byler being confirmed romantic could set male friendships back in media, in a way? Where writers become afraid to write vulnerable, sensitive best friends like will and mike lest they imply their homosexuality? Or even in real life, where straight guys (or guys who aren’t out of the closet) become more scared to open up? Like could it accidentally reinforce weird toxic boundaries where things are either traditionally masculine OR they are gay? I don’t know if that makes sense.

hello anon!

I totally agree their friendship is super wholesome and meaningful! It's one of the main reasons I love byler so much, because their relationship is built on genuine care for each other, and not stupid teen cliches or anything like that, like what you said.

I love Stand By Me. I think the writing's genius. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. And there's a lot of Stand By Me influence in ST! Also, don't worry you totally make sense. I think while we can definitely make the argument that Chris & Gordie's friendship is queer-coded, and it very well may be because the attitude in the 80's for gay characters in mainstream movies was "how much can we get away with", which is exactly what Nightmare on Elm Street 2 did. However, Chris & Gordie do not have the level of detail Mike & Will's relationship does to make a case for why it's queercoded, mainly because they're missing the OVERTLY *not just friends* moments that Mike & Will have. Chirs & Gordie don't flirt with each other or make really queercoded comments, etc. But Mike and Will...they flirt with each other, they shoot each other playful glances, there's so many small touches between them, the LIP STARES my GOD, the coded dialogue, etc. I think that's what distinguishes byler from ever being criticized by that argument/stereotype of 'guys being really close friends means their gay', is because Mike & Will don't just act like really close friends do, sometimes they act like they're more than friends, and hopefully people will open their eyes a bit to see that that is actually happening, and that all those little moments they either didn't notice or glossed over, is what separated them from being just friends, to be being more than friends. I mean, guys who are just friends do not constantly check out/stare at their other male friends lips all the time...But Mike & Will do. I'm all for breaking down toxic masculinity and showing guys can be vulnerable with each other without them being stereotyped as gay for showing emotion to each other, but I think Mike & Will's relationship goes beyond that because of all the little things they do in their interactions with each other, that indicate that this is not just a strictly friends thing. I think if Mike & Will were just meant to be good friends and not be romantic, there wouldn't be all these lip stares, flirty touches, them being glued to each other in season 3, etc etc. Sorry this was so long, I hope I made sense!

Thanks for the ask anon! I hope you're doing well! xx

#byler #byeler #stranger things 4

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taylortruther · 4 months

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“also subverts some of the qualities that are associated with his masculinity” this has been such a pleasant surprise about him. especially the podcast, i really liked him pre-taylor because of it. i listened to so many male-hosted sports podcasts/radio shows and holy shit they are often such insufferable, toxic masculinity bullshit 95% of the time but jason and travis have a way different vibe than these shows usually have. i certainly did not expect two giant men openly crying on camera about their mom’s support and stuff like that 😂

i think it's great that other men are seeing it tbh

#hot taykes

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fanficdumbchic · 2 years

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Hey there! I love your work :) Was just wondering if you would be able to do a dating hicks and Hudson from Aliens headcanon <3 separately if thats okay.

Love , P.

What It's Like to Date US Colonial Marines

Headcanon - USCM x Reader - SFW

AN: Thank you P.! You're a sweetie. Here's a dating headcanon for each of the main marines. Hope you enjoy! Look forward to more requests from you. :)

Private Drake

Drake is so balls-to-the-wall supportive of anything you do, especially if you're being bad ass as shit.

Drake does not mind being overshadowed by you at all. He's just happy to have you.

He is great in bed and actually gives a fuck about what you both want.

He's not just your partner, he's like your best friend. He's loyal as fuck and devoted as fuck when he finds you because you're his person.

He would do anything for you (within reason) without question.

But he's not going to put up with your shit either. He calls you out when you need to be more aware of what you're doing and has very healthy boundaries. And like wise, even if he is very emotional about a certain happenstance, he is still very self-aware and able to hear reason when you call him out too.

Drake has no toxic masculinity bullshit to deal with, he is incredibly confident in himself and dismisses ridicule for anything considered ‘unmanly’.

Drake is not a full dom, he prefers to switch because he wants both of you to feel powerful.

Definitely the male counterpart in a power couple.

Lieutenant Gorman

He is very closed-off and stand-offish at first.

He takes himself and his job very seriously and he isn't great with handling criticism.

He has hardcore humiliation trauma.

He's not good at functioning under pressure but always tries to do the right thing when it really counts.

He's someone where it takes you awhile to get past his cold, serious exterior, but once you do, he really is a sweetie.

He's slow to trust, but once he trusts you he is loyal to a fault.

He has a lot of trust issues but he tries really hard to work through them.

He realizes that he's not very physically or publicly affectionate but tries his hardest to make sure you feel loved regardless.

He shuts down during arguments and fights. Being yelled at immediately sends him into a panic attack.

However, he doesn't avoid your problems, he just has to be in a calm environment to deal with it.

He will not cry in front of anyone, even you. This guy has some emotional trauma but again, he's working on it. He most likely comes from a strict, military family and that's his baggage.

Even if he's not the easiest partner to have, he makes up for it where it counts and loves you.

Corporal Hicks

Hicks is just such a wholesomely good guy.

He has hella respect for strong women and actually listens.

While he closely follows the orders/instructions of those he knows are more qualified to be making the decisions, he still thinks for himself and sticks to his own moral compass.

He is very non-confrontational except in extreme circumstances.

One of his flaws is that he is a giver to a fault. His main thing is making sure everyone around him is good before he thinks of himself.

He will sacrifice for you and the people he cares about without a second thought.

His affection towards you is subtle and sometimes awkward but so sweet and thoughtful.

He wants nothing more than to see you thrive even when he's not.

He would rather everything remain calm and struggles during heated confrontation. He can be non-confrontational to a fault and fails to see any purpose in it.

Yet, it doesn't change the fact that he is always willing to face issues and work through them with you. He just doesn't feel conflict is the way to achieve that.

He definitely dotes on and spoils you, wanting the best for you and nothing less.

He just wants to be your hero.

Private Hudson

He definitely is reminiscent of the 'lovable asshole' archetype.

Hates when things don't go according to plan.

Humor is definitely his coping mechanism and love language.

He picks on you in a loving way but sometimes hurts your feelings with it. When he realizes that he went too far, he apologizes and stays away from those areas in the future. He really doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

He loves bickering with you like an you're both an old married couple. It's part of the fun for him.

He can be really stubborn and pigheaded sometimes and it can take awhile for him to get over his pride and admit you had a point or were flat-out right. But he always gets there.

He's incredibly cocky but takes his lumps without complaint when his ego is deflated.

Sometimes he is genuinely clueless about what he did wrong even if you think it's obvious. He's not the smartest boy.

Always dtf.

Loves to randomly smack you on the ass and see you blush.

When things go really wrong, you definitely have to be the calm one and keep him turned down a notch. But again, makes the right decisions when it really counts.

He loves to call you baby doll or baby girl or sweetheart.

Can you tell he's my favorite?

Private Vasquez

Unapologetic bad bitch.

Tough as nails and def has trauma she is not dealing with it.

Her philosophy is to suck it up and always push through it.

She is definitely the dominant partner and while she loves and cares for you, she does not like depending on others.

It takes awhile for her to trust and depend on people, you included.

Her love language is taking a bullet for you rather than being super lovey dovey. But affection is not something she shuns completely.

When she is vulnerable with you, she is deeply vulnerable with you.

She understands that she can be a really intense partner but she's not changing for you or anyone. That's who she is and she needs someone who's down with that.

She definitely is always trying to prepare for the worst case scenario and she hates surprises. They stress her out.

She never lets you feel unappreciated and notices even the little things you do.

She is a beast in bed.

She's one of those people where when they finally open up to you, it feels really special because you understand it takes a lot for them.

Like Drake, she is ride-or-die. She will not leave your side through even the worst shit. She goes hard af for the people she loves.

#Aliens 1986 #Aliens #fanfic #fan fiction #pvt. vasquez #vasquez #hudson #pvt. hudson #drake #pvt. drake #gorman #lt. gorman #cpl. hicks #hicks #dwayne hicks #william hudson

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tamelee · 2 years

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re: the section about toxic masculinity in that stupid novel

did esaka learned anything about anything reading Naruto? No, scratch that, from reading popular shounen manga? There are at least two at the top of my head where there are protagonist or male characters who CRY and are STRONG AS HELL. Vulnerability can also be a sigh of strength. To be able to speak or show how you feel without thinking that makes you less of a man, that's being confident comfortable with yourself and who you are.

Or it's maybe bc Sasuke hasn't been anything but cold and emotionless towards Sakura (with the exception of their genin days maybe) and so they have to contextualize that dismissive behavior this way?

I think this vision of how a man should behave is deeply concerning. It's like men can't show emotions/vulnerability toward women because that make them weak? And the only way to show love is in a taciturn or an aggresive way? How awful is that? Is there really people out there thinking like that? Do they realize how harmful those stereotypes are not only for the men themselves but for women as well?

I'm angry at the novel and esaka just from reading your review, no idea how you could do it without (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻ every five seconds

Hi @zykamiliah !! 💕

Yessss same here ;__;

"did esaka learned anything about anything reading Naruto? No, scratch that, from reading popular shounen manga? There are at least two at the top of my head where there are protagonist or male characters who CRY and are STRONG AS HELL."

I don’t think Esaka cared much if I’m being honest. It was written very deliberately with every intention to encourage the “Naruto and Sasuke are you-know-what”-scheme and twist Kishimoto’s entire story around to try and make SS happen. Which even she can’t since she couldn’t write how they even got together or how they gotten married. She even said Sasuke found it too “bothersome” to explain the ‘blood-connection’-thing even though she worked the scene towards it, to include it in response to Gaiden… but simply not being able to..

What does that tell, ya?

To be fair, I don’t think she took the Shonen approach. Even I, while reading gave her the benefit of the doubt and completely let that go to accept the tonal switch since she only focusses on them as adults. Naturally that’s going to feel different. ‘Boruto’ has a different audience, this isn’t for them… I assume.

But that shouldn’t change the message.

Nor the characters/dynamics as Kishimoto already has written them as adults before. They already exist.

"Vulnerability can also be a sigh of strength. To be able to speak or show how you feel without thinking that makes you less of a man, that's being confident comfortable with yourself and who you are."

Definitely!!! 👏🏻

Besides.. Sasuke’s “I lost” was the emotional part of the battle and arguably more challenging than their physical one, right?

"Or it's maybe bc Sasuke hasn't been anything but cold and emotionless towards Sakura (with the exception of their genin days maybe) and so they have to contextualize that dismissive behavior this way?"

This is the essence of every SS-essay ever.

But, like you say too, Sasuke hasn’t always been cold towards Sakura at all.. in fact I applaud him for dealing with a lot of her bullshit-fangirling without getting irritated. He’s very caring and has been protective towards both Naruto and Sakura too at some point. I don’t like this whole ‘Team 7’-thing, but there were moments during the Chunin-exam where they worked well together.

I even liked when Naruto was just being too adorable, Sakura and him didn’t do much other than bitch at each other and Sasuke was just taking it all in no matter how loud Naruto was being.

It is only when she pushed, pushed and pushed him even further to the point where his boundaries were overstepped by a million miles that he started to show his annoyances towards her and only because she gave him no choice. He asked her not to do something and she does it anyway. (Talk about the seal, hugging him, chasing him etc-)

Let’s say you walk down a street and someone asks you if you’d like to try.. I dunno a.. cake for example, but you don’t want to so you politely decline and continue to walk thinking that the conversation is over. However the cake-person follows you and asks you if you’re sure since this cake has pink frosting.

At this point you’re a little flabbergasted.. does this person not understand the meaning of the word ‘no’? You simply decline again and continue to walk once more. The person however, doesn’t stop, now grabbing your sleeve.

This time you’re getting annoyed.

Cake-person doesn’t stop bothering you until you take a bite of the cake, but you refuse to do so. However if you show that you are getting annoyed then the people around to witness the scene will think that you’re the asshole. It’s a lose-lose situation.

Then Jun Esaka comes around and writes a novel about how this is Tsundere behavior and how much you love the cake anyway.. hmm pink frosting yay… oh wait.. shit.. is it even “manly” enough to like pink things?! *eyeroll*

"I think this vision of how a man should behave is deeply concerning. It's like men can't show emotions/vulnerability toward women because that make them weak? And the only way to show love is in a taciturn or an aggresive way? How awful is that? Is there really people out there thinking like that? Do they realize how harmful those stereotypes are not only for the men themselves but for women as well?"

It is very awful how it is displayed in this novel.

For some people it is hard to show emotion and they themselves hold back, because trauma or distrust causes them to close up and so they use it as a protection mechanism. Therefore showing love.. openly or accepting it from someone else can feel like a weakness.

It’s an enormous emotional challenge.

I can relate to that.

In Sasuke’s case this love is for and from Naruto.

In Esaka’s novel she casts this emotional challenge aside like it was absolutely fucking nothing. As if Sasuke always had been only about his physical power or Sakura. Also, Sasuke’s genuine distaste and annoyance towards Sakura throughout his entire life instead is… love?

Maybe her own norms influenced Sasuke’s (not just any character, this is a developed character we’re talking about that has been altered)- behavior and persuaded the choices to fit the scenes which fit her story. Which.. imo didn’t work at all. Especially since Sasuke’s own personal goals don’t align with those roles and his unique characteristics.. let alone his sexual preferences.

I get that the whole ‘male Tsundere’-thing is simply ‘a trope’.. just like Hinata is the typical ‘Dandere’, HOWEVER- purposefully changing a character for your fantasy is a different thing.

It’s some sick twisted fantasy in the end since that is not how Sasuke loves.

Sasuke’s body moves on its own for the one he loves, both to save his life and to listen always to what he has to say. Whereas with Sakura his back is always turned. He feels pain when the one he loves suffers, but feels happy simply knowing he exists. Sasuke acknowledges the one he loves naturally, but shows it by secretly making sure he’s okay saying he “goes for a walk” or asking “if he had his meal”, because hearing his tummy growl.. even if it causes him to fail his lifelong goals.. he can’t help, but feed him. He feels relieved and safe knowing that he can share his hopes, pain, but also can laugh and cry with the one he loves, that they’re able to look in each other’s hearts. That person is his one and only.

That person is Uzumaki Naruto.

And not Haruno Sakura.

And to love like that, so selflessly, but still being his own person is very strong of him 💅🏻

#asktamelee #zykamiliah #sns

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urboymutual · 2 years

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Wait I’m here again are Eddie and Buck two sides of the machismo sword. Honorary machismo experiencer to Buck or am I just projecting wait do swords have sides. Let me start over are Eddie and Buck two ends of the machismo double ended dildo or something

I think double edged sword is. a term idk 😭 i really like "eddie and buck two ends of the machismo double ended dildo" Need it on some booty shorts ...

but idk if im making sense (or even in ur line of thinking) but it does seem tho like ppl view buck as the masculine partner in the relationship ? which idk feels weird to me at least bc eddie like. I know i know machismo and toxic masculinity does seem like . Epitome of masculinity. to me like im latino. my cousins and uncles and men in my family would do like keep ur emotions in keep moving bullshit and it was like wow ur so masc kings...

Like did. eddie's breakdown and crying like 😭 feminize him to buddie shippers or smthin? bc like i cant speak from a general audiences fanfic reader perspective. (like i rlly only read . explicit sorry...) but some of yall be writing like eddie super short and tiny. compared to buck ?.!:!:$ like he is some waifu help me... SORRY ANON THIS DEF TOOK A DIFFERENT TURN BUT I HAD TO SAY IT. these men are like 2 inches in height difference buck just looks taller bc his LONG GAY ASS LEGS!!! someone pull up that one buddie shippers height and head and hand comparison post 😭

#i wonder if eddie being latino has anything to do with it tho #like just from the idea of how men of color navigate masculinity differently

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mejomonster · 1 year

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how many of my followers are nonbinary?

hi yall, if you are. do you get this feeling? the feeling of like, idk, gender doesn’t matter to you. like yeah it matters in that i’d rather not be put into specific expecations or assumptions, and even if anyone is they shouldn’t be because a person of any gender can be anything and like anything and present any way.

idk if it’s cause i’m bi too. so like idk. i don’t care what gender i like, people are just cute if they’re cute to me. i don’t care what gender i am, i don’t feel like i’m only one gender i just relate generally to being a man, being a woman, being nonbinary, i like being a feminine man i like being a masculine woman i like not really giving a fuck and being perceived as all or none. i get that gender is important to people who it is for, and it’s certainly important to me in that i dislike being perceived exclusively as one single gender with all the expectations society generally thinks of strangers when interpreting someone as a particular gender (which again isn’t truly true of anyone - a man can be anything, a nonbinary person can be anything, etc, but society does make some snap assumptions to a degree generally of strangers).

i am aware straight men see me and make a snap decision that they probably are judging who i am internally as a person based on my feminine looking face. i don’t think they’re all reflecting on if they could actually be attracted to a nonbinary person or a man, i’m not sure they’re reflecting on hell if they could even like a very butch masculine woman that is going to socially not be acting in significant conventionally assumed feminine ways. but they certainly see my face and make a snap guess i’ll be certain things based on my face. in that sense sure i get gender, i get how people making incorrect judgements about strangers can be hurtful or at the minimum cause misunderstandings based on assumptions. (again even in the case of cis gendered people, someone meets a man who loves makeup and may make a lot of snap judgements about him and their interpretation of his gender which may not be correct etc.).

but like as far as me? idk. gender is a weird thing. i don’t get why i have to be perceived by strangers certain ways, why i have to choose to change my presentation even if i don’t desire a particular presentation just to get strangers to respect my identity (you know except the obvious - the world is kinda sucky sometimes and that’s just what that is). i get that maybe my parents raising me pretty gender neutral makes me not get it just a little bit more? i really didn’t feel gendered expectations until i hit around 9-10 and my boobs started growing and suddenly my parents started requiring a bra, requiring i sit with my legs closed tightly at all times (no more manspreading), requiring me to grow my hair out, requiring me to shave, requiring me to constantly smile and speak softly in social situations, and shaming and punishment whenever i deviated from those expectations. and other gendered bullshit but the new presentation changes i was expected to do were the most frustrating, i didn’t understand why i needed to change how i looked and acted to be acceptable to my family. i was still allowed to have whatever hobbies i wanted, whatever level of makeup or not i wished (which i suppose i was lucky for considering other families), and my family still had gender neutral future expectations of me which i suppose is a positive (my family was big on toxic masculine expectations on everyone for the worse i suppose - no crying, no showing real emotion, no being a crybaby or emotional, no showing any emotion but anger - and no anger because that’s not polite as a woman, be independent financially and handyman wise so fix everything yourself and never ask for support emotionally or physically, never admit weakness, you’re worthless if you can’t do everything perfectly successfully alone, no crying - i remember horrific punishments the few times as a preteen i was witnessed crying while being yelled at. i’d say the only upside of it all maybe was every single person in the family’s all got the same type of ‘no showing emotions or asking for help’ trauma so at least when we all fucking worked on fixing it as adults we all pretty much needed the same kind of help to heal that i guess? yeah its a whole mess.)

my point is just like... i didn’t deal with gendered shit much within my own circle of guy and girl friends and my family, until my body changed and suddenly a bunch of shit i didn’t realize anyone had to deal with was expected of me and punished if i didn’t live up to it. (in my family i had to look as pretty as a beauty queen was the expectation, and do sports of course and be good at them to prove i’m independent and strong, and get perfect grades in school, and never cry or show negative emotion or talk about feelings because i needed to support other people and never be a burden and never be dependent on anyone, yeah i know it was toxic and i learned that shit was fucked after i grew up... kinda funny to me the sports and school and career expectations also kicked in when the appearance ones did, age 9 is also when i got enrolled to a sport yearly, before then it had been my choice if i played soccer or some sport or not). i just don’t get why we put everyone through various versions of this hurtful shit. in real life, some men don’t want to be this (and no person should strictly be forced to avoid parts of themselves to the point of being damaged, which happens to pretty much everyone raised with gendered expectations to some degree - men find it harder to open up emotionally and seek support and identify when they’re struggling because society as a whole discourages them from learning and even if their close social circles help they’re going to run into wide society failing to help prepare them, women are going to find it harder to set healthy boundaries as even if their close social circle teaches them well society as a whole is still going to insult them for personal choices and shame them if they’re attacked making them feel as if their correct decisions are not approved by society overall, etc. trans people deal with all of those fucked expectations, along with messed up people thinking trans people have to present ‘perfectly enough’ within some arbitrary expectation of what a gender ‘is expected to be’ to be acceptable in society, and then even if they do meet those expectations those messed up people will find ways to say the person has failed to fit the expectations. meanwhile everyone’s already being hurt by the expectations imposed just by existing in this society we got.

i don’t know what i’m really trying to say here lol. feel free to ignore me. i just don’t know i just... do not get why gendered expectations from society have to be what they are on everyone.

#rant #nonbinary #ToT please only interact if a followe #cause yall know me i go on a tangent and i barely think this is understandable anyway

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seilon · 2 years

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as much as I 100% adore the idea of giving will a gun at some point in s5 and I totally root for it, I can’t help but also think about the fact that we know why Jonathan knows how to shoot a gun, and we can probably assume that he wouldn’t want to teach will to use one given he doesn’t like using them himself because of his less than savory experience being taught by lonnie– so it can be assumed that lonnie probably also taught will at some point– and if jonathan had a less than pleasant experience with lonnie’s sadistic toxic masculinity bullshit (making him kill a rabbit despite him adamantly not wanting to and crying for a week as a result just to prove his Manliness), can you imagine what kind of shit he must have put will through?

we know lonnie has always been especially harsh towards will because of he never fit into lonnie’s standards of masculinity, will being sensitive and caring and creative to a fault and thus lonnie verbally abusing him via emasculating and homophobic terms– so it’s scary to think of how intense snd forceful he would’ve probably been making will learn to load and shoot a gun. No doubt he did at least the same thing he did with jonathan, making him kill something to prove himself, but god knows how much worse it could have been for him. I think what might scare me the most about the situation is that I don’t think lonnie is above using the fact that he himself is holding a gun to his advantage, and quite literally making his son do what he wants at gunpoint if need be. I really don’t think it’s above him, and either way there’s just no way that could have been an amicable and pleasant experience to say the least.

So yeah as much as I wanna see him use a gun to protect his loved ones in the upcoming apocalyptic hellstorm, I feel like it would be most interesting and realistic to show his aversion to doing so unless really pushed to it by a life or death situation or something. or making it obvious in some way that he’s doing so to reclaim his power and use it to protect those he loves rather than threaten and terrorize like lonnie did.

just. thoughts.

#kibumblabs #stranger things #st5 #will byers #st5 predictions #long post

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