#and it's so sad that EVEN THEN....the BEST case scenario if you do prove that your thoughts are 'all holy'....the VERY BEST thing that could | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Kazakhstan’s Minister of Communications and Informatics has blocked the Tumblr site because it contained 60 sites of terrorism, extremism, and pornography in 2015.

#and it's so sad that EVEN THEN....the BEST case scenario if you do prove that your thoughts are 'all holy'....the VERY BEST thing that could

cheesecakethots · 8 months

Note

hiii I came across your blog and fell in love with your yandere illumi posts!! <3 can I ask how you think it’d be like if reader actually WAS pregnant and forced to carry the child to term?? if ur comfy ofc!!

ahhh thank you!!

tw// unwanted/forced pregnancy, implied noncon, reader depression, reader su1c1de attempts. this is SAD. just SAD. minimum comfort from this. also you have a baby and you don’t like it

this is the worst possible outcome

i try and kinda base reader off of how i would react in that situation, and my reaction would be BADDDD.

the second you realise that you’re pregnant you’re already making plans to throw yourself off the nearest balcony or down the steepest stairs in the manor. unfortunately, illumi is going to account for this. he’ll probably realise you’re pregnant before you even do, and soon enough the whole manor will be “baby proofed”.

there’s going to be butlers following you every step of the way, anything sharp is taken from bathrooms or your bedroom, even illumi has started to cut your food up for you. it’s extremely demeaning and only settles to make things worse.

you’ll start growing quiet as the pregnancy progresses, first out of spite and then out of genuine sadness. as far as you think, you’re truly just a womb to illumi and his family.

illumi will notice how depressed you’ve gotten, but he’s not exactly a comforting person. he’ll monotonously give you compliments, silently hand you bouquets of flowers, and tell the butlers to prepare your favourite foods as though any of those things are what you want.

occasionally, if his worry starts to grow, he’ll allow you outside into the garden for a couple of hours. he’ll even arrange a little allotment for you to plant your own. you might not even like flowers, or gardening, but the distraction is nice. if not, you can still wander the grounds, as though it can give you some illusion of freedom. it doesn’t.

illumi tells you that during your visits to the garden you’re truly on your own; no guards, no butlers, no maids, and none of his family watching. it’s not necessarily true. he’ll be behind you every step of the way, hidden in plain sight. he once believed you’d start appearing happy when no one was around, proving that it’s all a rouse and that you’re fine. he quickly discovered it wasn’t fake when the first time he watched you in the garden you found a bench and cried on it the entire time.

he starts to convince himself that when you give birth to his child you’ll recover, and you’ll love them and feel less lonely.

you don’t.

the birthing is messy, probably due to your stress, and it’s the first time anyone in the manor has seen illumi so nervous. it may not be obvious to you, but to those who have known him his entire life, it is.

you don’t love your baby. sometimes you can’t bring yourself to even look at it. you know that illumi and his family are going to be training it to be as bloodthirsty and murderous as them, so you tell yourself that there’s no point in even bothering trying to grow close with it.

in all honesty, you’re in for a fucking awful time. illumi might get irritated with your lack of love for your child. he might think another will make you feel less lonely. only when you stop talking and stop reacting entirely does he realise that he truly has broken you.

i don’t really enjoy writing about reader having kids because it would be my worst nightmare. literally horrifying. that’s why illumi is so damn scary, he’s having a child whether you like it or not.

if you do manage to get rid of it before you give birth, illumi is going to be fucking pissed. expect yourself to be taken into the basement for a week, at the minimum.

best case scenario for this is that reader can’t have kids. fuck this shit.

i could potentially see illumi turning away from his family and their insistence for him to have a bunch of kids, but only if your pregnancy was that bad. if you almost died during childbirth, i could imagine him being extremely shaken up about it, and may not want to see you that way again. that a very big if, though.

#tw yandere #tw.yandere #yandere #yanderecore #yandere hxh #yandere illumi zoldyck x reader #yandere illumi x reader #yandere illumi zoldyck #yandere illumi #tw noncon #tw pregnancy #tw unwanted pregnancy #tw forced pregnancy #tw forced marriage #tw: noncon #tw suicide #tw suicide attempts #tw su1cide #tw childbirth

336 notes · View notes

chryblossomjjk · 1 year

Text

bts fic recommendations | 01.25.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

scent of eager suds - @rkivian (knj x reader | smut, angst, pwp, fluff)

summary: you missed each other, too fucking much. but your head had stayed down in futile hopes of remaining stubborn, forgetting that there is a wedding ring on that tricksy little finger of his for a reason.

so..... genuinely convinced you are the reincarnate of shakespeare babe bc like:

"He would spend a considerably scant amount of time on such a task, yet fulfil it so thoroughly that the constant aching between your legs seemed more equitable than you would like it to be."

LOOK WHAT YOU DO WITH WORDS!!! like everything is so precise. i can tell there's so much thought put into every single word of this piece and woah.. the writing is fucking stellar, seriously. like just the words you use throughout this displays how the reader feels about being vulnerable with joonie: cruel, vengeful, venomous. u put pwp but like you characterized the fuck out of this reader and it's so good...

also... this is thee kim namjoon. like as someone who is v much similar to the reader and self sabotages relationships, ppl who love you enough to recognize that trait and do their best to prove u wrong

AND YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FLITHIEST NASTIEST SEXIEST SMUT EVER PLS HE'S SO HOT LIKE HE TRULY JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT AND IM GATEKEEPING HIM!!!! this was so so so beautiful and thank you for sharing with plebeians like me :') <3

the one where jin is drunk off his face and you get friend-zoned - @indgio (ksj x reader | fluff, crack)

saf everything you write just comforts my soul. it's missing jin hours around these parts and this is exactly want i needed. i don't know how to explain it but this gives me run episode vibes? like... this is legit kim seokjin. I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE HIM DOING SOME SHIT LIKE THIS LMAO WHAT A SWEET BABY!

also love this oc fr. like from the opening paragraph i could already tell she's the most adorable, most precious being, and you proved it throughout the rest :') <3 taking care of ur drunk partner trope will never not get me and you did it so splendidly ugh will definitely be coming back to this when im sad and 3am and missing my seokjin :'( thanks for this ily <3

"tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

but jin looks at you with a frown, as he downs the water. "no. get your own."

^also for whatever reason this took me tf out lmao

the one where jungkook will always protect you, even from the fictional - @indgio (jjk x reader | fluff, humor)

bby istg your writing is so... refreshing? like i always think i need these super crazy, convoluted, heavy plots for my fics to be good, but your writing is proof that doesn't have to be the case. your writing is so effortless, yet so beautiful. like once again, genuine comfort content that i don't see too much of anymore. going through your masterlist has really inspired me to take a new avenue, because your fics are just so fucking addicting. i just love the slice of life vibes so much uGh okay enough nutting over u and onto the fic sehfbjsehbdhwb

pov ur saf in my brain BC THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE DAYDREAMED ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO IS MENTAL ILLNESS (was just picturing binge watching AOT w him :'))

this jungkook is such a golden retriever ass boyfriend my heart can't take it. the banter ?? the protectiveness ?? THE BITING THE EAR ??? naur im in love it's settled. adding him to the list of fav jungkook portrayals on tumby. will be thinking about him when im bored in the back of my lecture tomorrow. thank you for daydream fuel <3

stfu yes it's wednesday get off my back >:'( i posted this early last week and was just trying to even the timing out that's all... im lying. anyways, love u lmao

259 notes · View notes

our-genderfluid-experience · 1 month

Note

im in the closet and so is my bi bff. im genderfluid/pan and sometimes we joke about coming out to our parents (mostly me) but doubt itll ever happen due to how religious it would be (sometimes i dream about it tho... maybe more than her idk) and hypothetically just think about cutting everyone off and flying out to avoid the backlash (just being silly) and the "interventions" of spiels of how gays go to hell and God wouldnt like That (i am still a christian... somewhat i think and its not uncommon in the spaces ive been to have gay/trans people in the church spaces something about Anglican churches etc, in my country. i just dont have the same exact beliefs as my parents)

sometimes i lie awake about the implications of coming out, the worst case scenario, how id probably no one to tell my achievements anymore, no one to be happy for me the way they had, no one to comfort me or be there when i get married etc. and i joked about how id just get up and leave and fuckall if i die alone to my friend even tho it fills me with loneliness and sadness ;w; anyway um she suddenly took one of my jokes seriously one night and say to me that she'll probably never come out because she loves her parents too much and i just idk. felt hurt. did she think i didnt love them either? i think she didnt mean it that way and i cleared it out that i was just joking about my plans bcuz idk if i want to do it actually (tho i feel like its an inevitable canon plot point with every trans ppl atp) but i just think about it sometimes. i love them but yk. i want to live.

maybe i wont actually cut them off as they try to process that but idk.

i dont think they'll like hurt me or anything but mentally and emotionally probably yes even if they probably mean well. i dont think i want to be in the closet forever?? idk im just sad about what she said ngl. and my future.

sorry just had to vent

i just dont think she gets how painful itd be to me. my parents and their extended family are Baptists. she has mostly catholic relatives (which in my experience from school and friends and gay teachers etc is more accepting ngl) and her dad is pretty accepting, having a brother who is gay and stuff. i dont wanna do a suffering olympics here but the more i think about forever in the closet the more i wanna puke lol

I have a religious family (Catholic), and I'm still religious as well. You wanting to come out to your family is not selfish or "proving you don't love them" in any way. You are who you are and you can't change that. You don't always have to rely on your family to get those feelings of achievement, love, happiness. You can make some friends who will basically become a second family, and they will be there to be happy for you and support you.

Catholics may be a bit more supportive than Baptists (idk I haven't met anyone who's Baptist), but they aren't super supportive (maybe that's just my family idk), but my family probably isn't the best example.

Anyway, you won't be stuck in the closet forever. Once you get old enough to move out, you aren't under your parents' rules anymore. If you ever need to vent some more, you can send me a message or an ask 💖

7 notes · View notes

my-mt-heart · 11 months

Note

Hey MT, Marketing anon again.

*sigh*

This was a week.

Carylers have been going through a mixture of feelings all week. What happened two days ago was not okay. I’m going to add some of my thoughts here on a good strategy to implement going forward (+ thoughts on the sneak peek). As always, this is my speculation. Take what resonates <3

First of all, let me say that Melissa McBride deserved a grand entrance with nothing but cheers and high praise. I was personally expecting an official announcement at SDCC or even by AMC. What happened took away that dream and replaced it with fodder for clickbait websites and divided the fandom. As I’ve mentioned before – mixed reactions are the worst kinda nightmares.

So let me take a moment to move the limelight back on Melissa McBride—because that’s where it deserves to be.

It’s more important now than ever to recenter your attention on celebrating Melissa McBride. As I’ve said before—fans have power. If they are not going to give Melissa the attention she deserves. We can do it. I heard she was trending on Twitter most of this week, which shows how many of us are advocating for her already.

Her return is worth celebrating. We’re getting Carol back, and we’re going to get an arc we should’ve gotten in S11. We get to see Caryl together again, and that's a wonderful thing. The more we celebrate her and talk about her, the clearer it is that we’re not backing down.

She's the one that deserves all the attention. Just her.

Which brings me to the sneak peek on Sunday (I’m not sure when you will upload this MT, but hopefully before the sneak peek is out haha).

Best case scenario? We get a teaser with Carol (possible damage control)

In this case, rejoice! Celebrate. Give Melissa McBride the welcome she deserves. But remember to keep your focus on what your expectations are from the spinoff. I noticed many people were confused (as addressed in my previous ask), and they are now even more confused about when Melissa is returning. Melissa is joining in S2. We don’t have any information to confirm she’s in S1. It’s okay to hope that there are Caryl easter eggs sprinkled throughout. But are they enough for you? I know they aren’t enough for me to invest in the show. I hope they prove us wrong, I really do.

Worst case scenario? Shipbaiting (the worst kind)

In this case, take heart. The sneak peek is meant to gauge public interest and reactions. So they will be expecting sharp reactions from their audience. The whole point of emotional marketing techniques is that they are driven to get you hooked. It is tiresome.

If you see something that genuinely troubles you or makes you sad, consider taking a step back and walking away. If you feel called to speak up, go in prepared for it and refocus your attention on what you want to see. If you are excited about the spinoff only because of Melissa’s return in S2 of RTD—voice it. Whether that's more Carol, more Caryl, romantic canon—whatever your expectations are from this spinoff. Spell. Them. Out.

Last but not least.

Whatever you’re feeling is okay. If tomorrow feels heavy and you want to step away, or if you’re too tired to make a stand—don’t be too hard on yourself.

If we know anything about Melissa McBride, it’s that her love and gratitude for her fans isn’t fickle. It won’t crumble because you couldn’t show up as you wanted to on a hard day. She has always treated us with adoration and respect—we can count on her just as she can count on us.

Caryl on ❤️

Just…yes 🔥

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol #melissa mcbride deserved better

27 notes · View notes

palfriendpatine66 · 6 months

Text

20 Question Fic Writer Tag

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

19, soon to be 20! ( three are just little prompt fills/drabbles that I’ve considered removing but also – I want to be able to find them again just in case they ever turn into something more so.)

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

306, 375

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars. That’s it, and probably all it will ever be (except for my crazy crossover aus). It’s a full time job over here.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

DX:Lovesick (I had a really weird moment when this passed PIP in the kudos count. Like, I love it and was really proud of it, but also: how dare it). Anakin is an accident prone college student who winds up in the care of one very hot Dr. Obi-Wan Kenobi

Pining in Preschool: My first ever fic (started exactly one year ago!) Anakin is trying his best to be a good dad to his twins, and that probably means he shouldn’t be falling for their preschool teacher.

Hide Here Often: This is bottom Obi-Wan smutty one shot

Helicopter Dad: This is a continuation of Pining in Preschool: 4 times that Anakin was a Helicopter parent and one time Obi-Wan beat him to it. I’ve been intending to do a part two with Obi-Wan ever since, but it hasn’t happened yet.

With a Cherry on Top: This is a ridiculous continuation of Pining in Preschool – Obi-Wan and Anakin get in a fight about eating in bed that results in a sex ban until one of them backs down. Spoiler alert: it ends with a sexy food in bed scenario because *of course* if they break they have to prove a point about it

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to always yes. I used to have a 100% track record, and I really wish I was maintaining it. Comments are my lifeblood. I literally cannot tell you how important receiving comments is to me, it’s like, a problem honestly, and so it’s definitely something I want to encourage. I try to always respond to a comment at least as an acknowledgement of “I appreciate you were here and took the time to let me know you liked this”. BUT also I genuinely love engaging about my fics and am more than happy to go on my “Author’s Commentary” spiel at any given moment.

Life’s kind of been shit lately, and I’ve had a hard time if I don’t respond to comments right away as they come in they get lost in my inbox. Also. ADHD.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

OoOoOo Window AU – to be revealed tomorrow. I don’t have the ending for Criminal Minds fully written, but even though it might be a “happy ending” it’s not going to be a happy ending, if you know what I mean. OH BUT if I ever write my post order 66 Obi-Wan on Tatooine vague idea for which the working title is “Obi-Wan Sads”. Yeah. That will probably be the worst.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. Pining for Preschool probably. It ends on a very high note, although also it’s not really an ending because I continued it into a potentially never ending series that seems to be 90% fluff after the angst I put them through in the original fic.

Also Center Stage (dance au)was a happy ending for sure.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

No, generally all my comments are very positive. There was a weird moment in DX:Lovesick where I wasn’t necessarily getting the hate but Obi-Wan was, and he was getting a lot of it. I wasn’t upset by the comments so much as I was worried that I didn’t write well/clear enough to convey the situation as I thought I was, but I settled on people are going to read their own situations into stories and interpret it differently than intended and that’s okay.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. The Obi-Wan and Anakin kind.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I had a fit of insanity and wrote an Obikin Titanic au.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not. That would be sad

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so no

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope! I think I have too much anxiety to commit to doing this, even with the right people. Put expectations on things and I just…can’t.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

IDK man. Kovu and Kiara from Lion King II: Simba’s Pride

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Right at the time I started writing PiP I started a time travel (?) au that resulted in amnesiac Knight Skywalker as master to padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi right when he rejoins the order after returning from Melida/Daan, instead of rejoining Qui-Gon. I would be shocked if I ever get back to thin, I really jumped the gun and there’s so much of it I don’t have in me, but…there’s still something about it that calls to me.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I always feel super awkward answering this, but I feel pretty good about capturing Obi-Wan and Anakin’s voices, especially their internal voices (if that makes sense) so that they still feel like them in other universes

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh gosh. I am learning as I go. Outlining/having a plan and sticking to it vs. just winging it as I go along. Knowing where paragraphs should start and end – which feels like you should just *know* but I don’t. Descriptions.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Great! But I’m not fluent enough in anything to do it

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars – Hiiiii!

Also, though, the only other stuff I wrote was Star Wars but the year was 2005 and it was for an audience of one (me!). Your Pal was a nerd who carried around a little notebook and wrote down every piece of jedi wisdom and quotes I encountered while I wrote about Obi-Wan and his OC apprentice who was *definitely*not*me* (their name was literally an anagram of my name lol) on their long term undercover mission on Earth, among other things.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This varies by the mood. I genuinely love Pining in Preschool, and it will always have a really special place in my heart. Dx:Lovesick was a very fun ride, I really and truly enjoyed writing it and I feel like it holds up. Right now I’m pretty attached to Criminal Minds, for a completely different dynamic and take on obikin.

No pressure tag to @renlyslittlerose and @grapenehifics

14 notes · View notes

crookedherringcolorclod · 2 years

Text

Sakamaki Brothers: they will never be good fathers. Here’s why! ✨✨✨

TW: toxic parenting, emotionally unavailable parents, manipulation, gaslighting, infidelity, violence, death threats, a slight mention of incest in Laito’s section, and much more.

The final warning: I hope you take these warnings very seriously, as much as I want to write something dark, I hope you don’t force yourself to read this. Take care everyone.

MUKAMI VER

Shuu

•Best case scenario for you, you won’t know he even existed, and he’ll never be a part of your life. Your mother gets to be far, far away from him and raise you on her own. Hallelujah. 🙏

•Worst case scenario, he’ll be the dad that orders your poor mother around while just lounging on the sofa.

•You’ll learn you can’t rely on Shuu for anything, anything other than his daddy’s money.

•If you’re his firstborn you’ll have to be your own parent as you grow older, as well as any sibling that will pop out along the way. Either from your mother or some other woman.

•Will talk shit about you at every opportunity, in. your. face.

•It will hit you right in your insecurities and doubts then play it off as a joke.

•Well, that’ll leave some emotional scars, and low self-esteem.

•You’ll get abandonment issues and paranoia because of the many times he talked about leaving you and has shown that he’s willing to walk out on you. Don’t worry, he always comes back…after a couple of months. Maybe years? Never?

•Having him as a parent will make you force yourself to grow up faster, forcing you to be your own parent, and teach you to never trust anyone, whilst yearning for moments of vulnerability and affection that you are deprived of.

•You might even get confused when someone compliments you or even show some common decency towards you. It’s quite sad to think about…

Reiji

•He expects the best out of you. Why? Ur his kid, duh. Of course, you should be the best, second place is not an option if you’re Reiji’s kid.

•Forces you to go to multiple classes on etiquette, posture, and manners, ALL will be taught by him. He doesn’t trust others would be good enough to teach his child.

•Trust me, he can teach you anything except the fact you deserve a better father than him. It’s because he thinks he’s doing his best without making any mistakes.

•random headcanon: Reiji will never let you go near a violin. e v e r, it reminds him of a certain blonde deadbeat of an uncle you have.

•Would rather die than admit he was cruel to you; he won’t admit that he shouldn’t punish you so harshly just because you decided to slouch after a long day.

•He won’t even apologize for shiiit. Even when he’s at fault, from what I have seen, this behavior is canon in the games.

•If there are more of you, Reiji might be so focused on making all of you his version of perfection (which is pretty much impossible because I have a feeling he’ll never be satisfied) that he might start comparing you to your other siblings who pretty much learned how to put up a façade in front of him. He will reward them to prove that this is the reward you can get if you follow whatever he dictates while your sibling whom he is praising is internally suffering in front of you.

•You’ll either bond with your sibling over the similar problems you must face in the household or hate their guts just as Reiji does with Uncle Shuu. (DEJE VU)

•My guess is that your relationship with any sibling under Reiji’s house will eventually go sour. That Reiji’s talent.

•You’ll be able to relate with Isabella from Encanto so much.

•You’ll never feel in control over anything, you’ll feel like your father’s puppet or his experiment. You might be a bit of both in my opinion.

Ayato

•Ayato will demand control over almost everything. It’s ridiculous.

•Ayato might pressure the kid to be the best just like his mother did or inflate their ego so bad reality will hit them like a truck. 🏃🏻🚙

•He’ll rant on and on about how you’re lucky for having him as your dad. When he does absolutely nothing to help and provide for you. Typical.

•” You should be grateful ur being raised by Ore-sama!!” Well, Ore-sama should have pulled out quicker.

•He may not be as hysterical as his mother, but he is worse in other aspects.

•Ayato will always find a way to undermine your accomplishments and then say he could have done better at your age.

•Allow me to give you an example:

•Oh wow, you were able to win first place in a writing contest in your school with an essay that you work hard on for two months? Is that so? I can already see Ayato ready to talk about himself, saying it’s solely because you’re his kid, of course, you would win first place. Then will proceed to ramble about how he would write something better in less than an hour. (yeah right)

•In less than an hour later he hands you a paper that consists of one paragraph made up of three sentences and it talks about how he is number one and how you are inferior compared to him.

•He will think it’s the best thing that he ever gave you, not knowing you just chucked it in the trash bin the moment you entered your bedroom and proceed to cry your eyes out.

•You learned how to keep your achievements to yourself after that. Even when Ayato will jeer about how he never heard about anything you accomplished and how that must mean you suck at everything.

• You’ll feel like you’re never good enough for anyone no matter how kind you are or how hard you work.

•Look on the bright side (there is no bright side), he might not want to chuck you in the lake (yay?). It brings bad memories.

Kanato

•He will put his own needs above yours.

•” What do you mean you want to have some of my sweets in my sweet stash? The rest is for Teddy!!!”

•Will most definitely force you into tea parties even if you eventually get too old for tea parties. Every tea party is the equivalent of walking on thin ice.

•random headcanon number two: your poor mother will teach you how to make sweets and list down high-end sweet shops when you’re at least in high school. It’s not for you, obviously, it’s emergency sweets for Kanato when he starts getting more violent than usual and gets physical with your punishments.

• Ironically, anything sweet leaves a bitter taste in your mouth since you might start associating sweet with your father.

•Kanato will scream at you for any slight inconvenience, whether it’s unimportant or nonexistent.

•You took too long to make raspberry pudding, you use the wrong kind of stitches to mend Teddy’s stomach, you touched the glass vial holding your grandmother’s ashes while stuffing Teddy’s stuffing back into his stomach.

•Tantrums, so. many. tantrums. He’ll bawl his eyes out when you don’t want to spend time with him, he’ll snap at you when you want to try and bond with him.

•It’s the equivalent of the song “Hot n Cold” by Katy Perry (mostly the first part of the chorus until “It's black and it's white”)

Laito

•I may not be that religious, but may God be with you if you have Laito as a dad.

•You’ll wish your mom swallowed you.

•It’s so easy for Laito to say he loves you, with his saccharine smiles and tender pats on your head. He’ll even go as far as to direct your conversation in a different direction when you start getting curious and start asking about his new lady friend. Or why your mother’s legs are wobbling as she’s walking.

•When you grow older, you’ll finally find out that he has been cheating on your mother non-stop, I guess that you’ll learn it the hard way by catching that fake pervert red-handed, in bed with another woman.

•He will convince you that love is just the same as lust, just like what Cordelia taught him.

•You’re probably going to learn so much about your grandmother whenever Laito talks about how he loves her so much that he hates her.

•With enough time, you might have a theory on what happened between him and Cordelia. You’ll feel the urge to throw up or curl into a ball. The conclusion to your theory is not pretty.

•Watching the mind games that Laito plays with other women is a different kind of torture. You’ll feel more and more expendable as you watch these faceless women be tossed aside when Laito finds new prey.

•You wonder why he even keeps you around him at all, you already stopped believing in his “I love you“s.

•You may not know about Laito beyond his perverse façade, you never probably never will. However, you’ll only know that he just says he loves you for the sake of it.

•You would observe the seemingly never-ending cycle that always occurs in the house. It tends to happen after Laito is done with the sidepiece and is on the search for new women.

•Your mom decided to call out on Laito’s crap, Laito feigns innocence until he snaps, Laito threatens mom with the fact he will leave her for someone better and more attractive than her aging self, mom stops and begs for forgiveness when it was never her fault. Laito cheats on mom anyway no matter the various decisions made.

•It will hurt seeing your mother chase after him because despite taking the brunt of all the emotional abuse, she would still cling to him. Does she still love him? Did he ever see her as anything else than a blood bag? You ask this yourself so many times. The answer would be no, Laito doesn’t love your mom either.

•You’ll have so many trust issues. It’ll be hard for you to create any form of healthy relationship. Both platonic and romantic.

Subaru

•If I think about this real hard, this one will be a bit sadder than I thought.

•It’s because I start seeing Christa in him when I start seeing Subaru as a bad parent.

•Don’t get me wrong, Subaru will throw furniture around, punch walls and scream his lungs out.

•He will ramble on and on about how he’s filthy and how you shouldn’t associate yourself with him.

•Yet at the same time, I can see him snap out of his rage. Then look at you, scared out of your wits.

•Subaru might try to comfort you until he looks at his split knuckles. Bloody with splinters and split skin.

•Then he’ll decide to go outside for fresh air at the last minute, leaving you alone with mixed emotions.

•You know Subaru is downright horrifying, sadistic even. He threatens to kill you if you even try to help him. He calls you ugly too.

•Yet you can see a glimpse that he might have cared for you, despite the cruel words you must swallow every day.

•Without him knowing, you learned how to place first aid on other people and you’ve become really good at it. Just so you can try to focus on alleviating other people’s pain. Something you never get to do for Subaru. Even in his better days where he’s a bit calmer.

•In calmer times, which is quite rare, he’ll stay out your way. Thinking it would be best for you. (News flash: it’s not, yet at the same time it feels like it is??????)

•You subconsciously flinch at every loud noise around you. Whether someone accidentally slams the door a little too hard, or someone raises their voice a bit for you to pass the salt to your right.

•You’ll hate looking at yourself in the mirror, whether you resemble your father or your mother.

•You will only see a self-destructive monster if you look more like Subaru, or some helpless cattle that is your mom if you look anything like her.

•You’ll also feel like you’re dirty… and a different kind of monster that scavenges for any kind of sign that someone cares for them.

•He may have tried to stay out of your life, but he still did his damage.

#shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #sakamaki shu #sakamaki reiji #sakamaki ayato #sakamaki kanato #sakamaki laito #sakamaki subaru #diabolik lovers #dialovers #trigger warning #tw #sakamaki brothers

93 notes · View notes

onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 1 year

Note

I keep going back and forth in my mind on whether or not they should keep the story a tradegy and what they will do. What my mind keeps coming back to is the quote "all the great stories return to their original form". Which makes me think that they'll keep it a tragic story. But then I think about how the reason it is tragic is because Morpheus doesn't see himself as capable of change. So what better way to prove him wrong than the idea that stories can grow and change?

Idk what they'll do. I'm sure it'll be amazing either way.

i mean this story is absolutely full of unreliable narrators, the returning to their original form is a dream quote, which says a lot about him as a person, not necessarily anything about neil gaiman

but yeah, i mean. i like well written tragedies, because well written tragedies are one of the best devices for a story about hope, and i think that's what this is

one of the reasons i love hadestown as a story is it specifically calls this out and gets meta with it, but in any tragedy - it's about catharsis, you know?

there's something important in that rock bottom moment, and in experiencing that as a collective. catharsis is an ancient greek word, from the origin of theatre, we're talking plays, things that were experienced by a large audience. ancient greek plays actually used to be short so you could watch a whole bunch of them in a row during festivals to dionysus, it was a whole big Thing

it comes from the word meaning cleansing, and the ancient greeks believed there was something important to that, to watching something terrible happen in a safe space, where it's not real, where you know the actors are fine, and where hundreds of other people are crying with you - you feel for these characters and that sadness is a great emotional release

and i think that's true, it's certainly something i feel with well written tragedies. but i don't think that's all there is to it

there's an instinct shared by absolutely everybody who watches tragedies, something i honestly think is incredible but somehow is universal, and that's that gut feeling that hooks you and goes no this has to turn out right this time

look at what's happening just on this blog today, i'm getting so many responses of people going no, we get another shot, he has to make it this time, this has to be okay, because this isn't right

and i'm serious about not knowing which way this'll fall and being fine with either way, i've just ended up being the tragedy advocate today because everyone else is doing the above and i like it both ways

but it's that instinct that's important. because it's not just something that happens when you don't know the ending. you could have a tragedy in a movie that you have on dvd, and you've watched it 50 times over or more, to the point where you could quote every line. and there will still be that part of you going maybe this time. maybe this time it'll work

stories with happy endings can certainly be inspiring, to the right person, at the right time. but when you're in a really tough spot there's no guarantee your life will turn out like the character's. maybe you don't get as lucky, maybe you get the worst case scenario, and then what? it's hard to fight that on your own

but a tragedy takes you to that worst case scenario. it tells you this is a situation where there is absolutely no way out. and even if you believed there was no way out already, suddenly you find that part of yourself going wait, no, there was a way out, why didn't you take it? if you just had another chance, you'd take it. this wouldn't play out the same way. and if it did, i'd try again. i'd try as many times as i'm willing to watch this story, because i'm never going to accept that this was inevitable

tragedies force the audience to confront that in their darkest moments, they will still fight for things to be better, even when they know everything is lost. and i think in a story about depression, that's really important

(and yeah, the theme of sandman is to keep living you have to keep changing, and to keep changing you have to keep living. but there are so many other characters in this story who embody that, who are there to set an example when an example is needed. look at how popular hob's gotten just from half an episode appearance. and yeah that's partially for shippy reasons, but also he's one of the biggest carriers of the hopeful message, and people have gotten that loud and clear)

so like. if they change it, which will probably end up being along the lines of the retirement au some of the fandom have got going on, i'm absolutely down for that, and i think it will still be a beautiful and meaningful story

and i'm not arguing with all the people going no, we get a retry, we have to fix this, because it's important that they're doing that! that's the whole point! but the fact that they are also means this story's done its job

#hi you've activated the theatre major in me #sandman comic spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #mine #meta #ask

38 notes · View notes

menalez · 1 year

Note

usually when you see those global maps that show rates of rape, it usually says there isn't data from the middle east and its grey.

my father acts as if we are soooo liberal and progressive, because he claims that a random man raping a random woman would be 40 years jailtime for him.

but that isn't what it is. the problem is with husbands raping their wives. according to the quran, women HAVE to do what their husbands tell them to. cook him meals, give him massages, wash his clothes, prepare the home for guests, comfort him when he's sad, and this includes rape.

a woman "consenting" because she doesn't want to get punished by god or her husband isn't consent and it never was. "do this or something bad will happen to you/do this or you're evil and immoral" that isn't free choice. its just like what muslim women are told about the hijab. "wear it or you will go to hell/you will get arrested/wear this or you're evil or immoral"

not only that but the reason the rape rates are so low is bc most women won’t report it. we need 2 male witnesses under sharia law or 1 male & 2 female witnesses. if u arent able to prove it was rape, or on tbe very rare chance that u are, there are marry your rapist laws which means you could be forced to marry your rapist & he’ll completely get away with it if he marries you. this is not to mention that under shi’i law, you literally cannot divorce ur husband even if hes abusive, hes the one who can divorce you & hes the only one who can initiate the divorce which many abusers won’t do. so in some cases u can be forced to marry ur rapist and literally cannot even leave.

best case scenario if u prove u were raped maybe he’ll be in jail for a short time but you’ll be ostracised and viewed as a waste by society for life. you no longer have worth bc u are known as Not A Virgin. he’ll be out of prison within a short period of time and get to move on.

and if you don’t prove you were raped, theres a chance you’ll be punished for it and literally jailed for being raped bc u had “sex outside of marriage”. with all that in mind ofc the rape rates are low. but ofc theres MENA men who love to pretend like actually we are progressive in women’s rights somehow.

10 notes · View notes

unmeiokaemasu · 2 years

Text

The morphs are humans, full stop: cliffnotes edition

ok I said I wanted to write a full mini-essay on this but I need to get this out of my system NOW and I don’t have time for even a half-assed analysis, so here’s a...quarter...assed....here’s some bullet points:

BASIC PREMISE: Nergal is an abusive parent/guardian who controls the morphs by making them feel powerless and/or gaslighting them.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HUMAN?: In this case, have full autonomy and regular human emotions. I think all the named morphs shown apply but I’ll get into it.

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN NERGAL’S GOD??: No, Nergal’s a Bad Parent. I know there’re a bunch of nameless morphs that get mowed down as fodder but this is obvs not a 1:1 allegory. Case and point, you mow down endless nameless morphs the same way you reap human bandits and frankly enemy soldiers in other FE games, or, like, other maps in this game. We’re all clear that we’re smart enough to play the game and go ahead and defeat the nameless enemies knowing that we’re not equivocating them with hypothetical real world human adversaries, yes? good. So yeah Nergal’s basically the bad dad to all the named morphs. Moving on.

Ephidel: So I have the least to say about this dipstick, but yeah, he’s just a sadist from all evidence. Takes pleasure in other’s suffering. He’s the simplest one, which is why we meet him first. Nergal keeps him around because he follows orders easily and doesn’t cause trouble. Also easy to dismiss in this thoughtdump. NEXT.

Boss morphs: I had a whole section on this and it actually got so dark that I decided to cut it. Basically any implications of beings who smile when they die is Not Good, and “they are zombies” is the best case scenario.

Denning: I’m ranking this on level of pathos, and imo while Ephidel ranks up there with any bandit boss that spits at you and tells you you’ll never win even as he dies, Denning is more sympathetic than that. Yes. Denning. And I think that’s on purpose. I think this was a deliberate move to show us a morph who was unable to express personality. And yet, when they die, the way the message fades out...I mean think about it. Nergal sent a living being to serve the purpose of like, a bot in your dms. They can’t say anything other than their predetermined message, and they can’t emote that we can see. I definitely think this is a commentary on Nergal’s attitude towards life, and not meant as a statement of “morphs feel nothing by default.”

Kishuna: Explicitly described as being very sad. And then, we see how Nergal treats them: all put-downs, all the time. There is a sense both that they feel like they are inadequate as a person, and that they feel earning Nergal’s favor will give them purpose, which is why they still work for him. Kishuna is explicitly here to make you realize that morphs feel things.

Sonia: Do I. Do I even need to tell you that Sonia feels emotions? Do I even need to describe her constant existential dread? The reason she shit-talks Limstella is that she knows she’s a morph, but, like Limstella, she’s been convinced (by Nergal, duh) that human lives are worth more than morph lives, so she keeps calling herself a human, and at the very least has convinced herself that as long as she has Nergal’s approval, she’s worth as much as a human. And I can get into all the icky implications of Nergal forcing her both into a relationship with a human man and to be a mother to a human child, but. I’ll save that for later. Yes, she’s an unequivocal villain. I think that is part of her personality. But she has a personality, part of it involves ruthlessness and a willingness to utilize other’s suffering for her own gain, and part of it is the constant terror that if she doesn’t prove herself worthy, she will be killed, or used as a tool until she is killed. It is both.

Limstella: ...so. well. I said I didn’t wanna write too much but I’ve already written a bit. Short story: taking all that into account...Limstella the most powerful and most loyal of Nergal’s minions. So they get constant assurance that they are fulfilling their purpose. That’s...pretty damn human, I think. That they would never challenge their position because they constantly get overwhelming validation for their actions. *sigh* I want to go into this more later, but...yeah that’s why their death quote fucks me up so much. They’re sad to die, but so is anyone else who’s told to die for a “great cause.” And uh. Their story is the most moving tragic tale in all of FE for me? Not that it’s an objective competition, it’s just...idk. Their story moved me. I wish it could have ended differently.

OK WELL that’s out of my system now. That’s...777 words, yeesh. I could probably write a 2500 word scree on this no problem, and that’s even before starting to do research and site real-world psychology.

Anyway, I’d love to hear other’s thoughts! To me all of this seemed like obvious authorial intent, but it was never explicitly spelled out, so I’m sure lots of people have different reads!

#fire emblem #fire emblem blazing blade #limstella #sonia #ephidel #kishuna #denning #nergal #I didn't expect to write this much and I'm regretting it already #=sigh= if all of this was dumb enough on my part I'll delete it tomorrow #I'm very tired. oh well

5 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 2 years

Note

Im just gonna say it, her post was weird. There are other ways to “show” people you too hurt. But even more than that, no one is expecting her to show that nor is anyone under the assumption that she doesnt. I’ve lost loved ones too but i dont think that should be the means to be able to give an opinion on stuff like this. Not everything is meant to me content and just the thought of posting your phone against your sink,pressing record while you look into the mirror and cry is weird as fuck, then what you play it back? It doesnt seem genuine. Obviously you’re going to hurt when loosing a parent i just don’t get the point in having to prove that you do and in that particular way. Like that other person said, posting that then posting a video of the lip-synching while also realizing that the day she filmed herself crying was the day she was dancing in Mitch’s basement has got me scratching my head.

My opinion doesnt change anything but thats just how i feel, not everything has to be proven, not everything is meant to be “content”, and not everything needs to be posted to be genuine. It reminds me of these fake apology videos where they record themselves crying and forcing the tears out, no one needs to see that to know youre sorry. Everything is for attention now a days.

i agree it's weird, but i also don't really care that she did it either. and while there are ways to show that you're hurt, if that's how she wanted to do it, there's nothing wrong with that in my book.

wanting attention isn't a bad thing. we all want attention. it's what you do to get the attention that can be negative or positive. her crying in her bathroom and then posting the video with a sad song and caption isn't hurting anyone or herself, so there's nothing wrong with it. i personally wouldn't do it, but clearly she didn't mind showing that side of herself.

and there definitely is a strange performance side to it, since you have to start the video, cry, stop it at some point, and then pick a song and write a caption. but if that helps her feel better, then i don't think it's bad. it's weird, i won't deny that. i don't think it comes across as completely disingenuous, since clearly she does miss her father a lot. you can look at any of her social media and see that.

there is a difference between what she did and what someone in an apology video does.

when a person in an apology video cries, best case scenario, is they realized they fucked up and are legitimately sorry about it so that's why they're emotional. but most ppl who cry in apology videos aren't doing it for that reason. they cry so ppl won't be harsh towards them, so that when their fans watch the video they can leave comments like "see, they didn't mean to say the n word 60 times in one second! that was two months ago, they're a changed person. look how upset they are at their past actions!" they want sympathy. they want the ppl they hurt to not be as hurt anymore bc "look i'm crying too which means i'm in pain". or, some probably cry bc they realize how much trouble (and money) this is gonna cost them.

stas is crying bc she's mourning the loss of her father. if you want to argue she's trying to get sympathy too, sure, i guess so. but it's not the same as someone trying not to be judged as harshly or called out for their wrongdoings. she's not crying to get sympathy bc of a fuck-up she did. she didn't do anything wrong. she's just expressing her emotions.

is it weird? sure. is it wrong? no, i don't think so.

#ask #personal #stas

2 notes · View notes

cat-is-free · 2 years

Text

dear mother,

It makes me sad to write this, but I won’t lie to myself anymore. At one point, I thought our relationship could improve and we would be in a better place by now. But time and time again, you keep proving me why I should cut you off and not expect a single thing from you. It took me a while to realize this...because I was always giving you the benefit of the doubt. I was always looking for reasons to see you in the best light. It wasn’t until now, this point in my life that I realized that everything you do for me, you do because you will gain something from it. Otherwise... you would have never done it.

The closest I ever felt to you was in my childhood, when you were there for me as a mother should be. But as soon as I hit a certain age, able to have thoughts of my own and have my own wants and needs, you started to change. We never really got along after that. It was because you could no longer control me and you couldn’t accept that I was someone else who didn’t have the same ideas and a mind of my own. I would wear what you picked out for me. I questioned Catholicism, which you would never question and blindly follow. We drifted further and further apart. You didn’t like me, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t like you either. I began to see you as a woman who filled her time with excessive material things and could only fill her void by shopping, hoarding, and never spending any time with her family. What can I say? I started to resent you. I resented you for making me feel like everything was so wrong with me. From the way I looked, to the way I conducted myself, to my own thoughts and beliefs. Nothing was ever right by you. In fact, you know what? I don’t think I remember a single memory where you were happy for me.

I gave you so many chances. So many. To be there for me, to support me, to stand up for me, and to show up for me. You maybe did once or twice. But for the most part, you were enabler to an abusive man. You allowed his abuse to pour over to your children’s lives. You continue to put up with it and even though knowing that you’re not being treated right, you continue to accept it and expect your children to do the same. It makes me sad that recently, I pictured us possibly having a life together. I didn’t even question thinking about living with you and my brother. I thought we could live a quiet and comfortable life without him. And then I realized... I’d never be happy with you either.

You see, mom, when I told you about my news, about the new job, it was actually an opportunity for you to show up for me. Before I leave, I just wanted to know I had your support. But... you reacted the same way you have reacted to any kind of news I’ve given you. You’re resistant, afraid of change, and you always think of the worst-case scenarios without knowing for a fact. And then you bring up the past, saying “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” things that would have worked out differently IF. But mom, I made a rule to myself recently, I wanted to stop living in the past. There’s so many things I’d go back and do differently and yes for a while I thought about them and it left me spiraling into a rabbit hole of regret. I made the decision to stop that. It didn’t help me. I look to the future for the things I still can do, things I can change.

I own up to my past, because I was a shitty person. You have never once owned up to a single fault. I’ve never heard you say the words “I’m sorry.” Even my father can say those words when he realizes he’s wrong on the occasion. Mother, I just wish I was enough of a reason for you to do better. You are my mother, and I appreciate you for all that you’ve done for me. I know that you’ve tried before, it’s not like you haven’t. But your ego is all that you care about. Things you care about include: how someone looks and how much money someone earns. Which I’m sorry but those two things say so little about someone. And when I compare myself to you, we are two drastically different people.

I care about someone’s character, how they carry themselves, and treat other human beings. I care about people who care. I’m sorry, but mom, you’re not one of those people.

Last night you broke me. The fact that you couldn’t be happy for me and you just wanted me to live the same life I’ve been living, which you know damn well I’ve been struggling in. Thanks, mom.

0 notes

spinkt · 2 months

Text

Some wrestling thoughts, and I know I know I know just...pretend I have better interests or something. This just needs out of my head.

So one of the wrestlers in one of the major promotions is apparently going to climb Everest. By that I mean, I suppose, that he intends to, I guess? And while I do not pay too much attention, context clues would indicate he's supposed to make his attempt in a week or two, but he's...still on tv, taking huge stupid bumps?

And like, I have enough thoughts on this to be annoying because I don't even like him. I initially thought he was interesting but then I learned more about him and he seems like a shitty person, but in ways where I can mostly just be like "I guess it's this guy again" instead of someone like Jericho, who I actively hate. But like this guy (I do not know why I'm not naming him, his name is Darby) seems like someone who would be all "oh yeah I'm gonna climb Everest to show I've conquered the mountain" and all that shit, while not...actually taking it seriously? Like he seems like a dude who thinks he's got an active job and can handle pain so he can just do this thing.

Setting aside that I kind of feel like climbing Everest at all makes you a shitty person and there's no real way to do it ethically, I just...like, what is this guy expecting? Shouldn't he be there right now, acclimating to the baseline temp/elevation? Shouldn't he Not be going there with bruises and a back that's still cut up from major lacerations sustained when he jumped off a ladder into a real sheet of plate glass?

I imagine him to be the kind of Everest hiker who either gets to base camp and has to call it there but still says he climbed the mountain on the technicality, the kind who gets told to turn around because he's being fucking stupid and you can't brute force your way through oxygen deprivation and gets all shitty about it, or the kind who takes selfies with the Everest bodies.

And like seeing comments on here about him doing it is wild, because you can tell most of these people have no idea how actually serious and dangerous that climb is, and how easily you can get absolutely fucked. Like Darby himself has said in his promos that he could die, but it's always taken in a "look how dangerous and cool this thing I'm doing is, I'm so hard and reckless" kinda way, and his fans are like "omg he has to come back it'll be so sad if he doesn't!!!" And I just wanna link them to some YouTube videos so they get some idea of the prep and danger. Like it sounds stupid but you have to respect that mountain and if you go up there with hubris thinking you're better than everyone who "failed" by dying, you're...probably not gonna have a good time.

Anyway I think it is absolutely wild that a successful professional wrestler who is massively popular and active has chosen to possibly die horribly on a mountain that absolutely kills people, all to....prove he can? I guess?? Best case scenario I think is that he get, like, one or two camps up, and then has to come back down. He would be insufferable if he got to the summit, and it would be nice if there weren't another fuckin corpse on that mountain, but if he gets partway up he can always blame outside circumstances for his having to turn around, and everybody can think he was very cool for having gotten as far as he did, and then his garbage isn't adding to the trash pile that is that climbing trail the *whole* way up.

1 note · View note

lucielerror · 2 years

Text

Neglected

CW (s): SAGAU, self-deprecating thoughts from Xiao, mention of death, slight Zhongli's Archon Quest spoilers if you haven't reached that part?, lowkey obsessive Xiao towards the end

Summary: Do you perhaps hate Xiao? Then why have you not used him? Xiao gets sad because of your inability to build.

A/N: This is from your very dear newbie author who pulled Xiao somewhere around ar 25+ and only started using him around like ar 35 because I didn't know how to build or use him. Plus, I was very attached to my team. But yes!! My first 5-star character who has a special place in my heart now ¨̮

He doesn't get it. While he's not one to boast his skills, he knows he's one of the most powerful characters here. He's Xiao, The Conqueror of Demons... so why won't you use him? Did his karmic debt make him that undesirable to you? Or was he simply not enough? Not as powerful as he thought himself to be? Or worse, do you... hate him?

With that thought, Xiao scowls further and takes an angry bite out of his almond tofu. Useless to Rex Lapis who once laid dead on the ground, and now, useless to you. Then what was the point of going any further? To keep Liyue safe and vanquish all evil of course, who else will do the protecting if not him? He discards the unfinished tofu to the side, no longer in the mood to eat anymore, and chooses to stare at the moon with more questions filling his mind.

Is he being ungrateful? He's lucky to even have a chance to be your personal acolyte when there are others out there who can only dream of being so. He knows you can't use everyone in battle, you don't have the resources or don't know how to and that's alright. He understands that. What he doesn't understand is how you don't give him a chance to prove himself, to prove his ability to fight, his ability to knock out enemies before they could harm your precious team of acolytes. He's been stuck watching your chosen team run around and while he may never admit it out loud, it pains him... it pains him to the point of jealousy, the ugly green monster rearing its head. You didn't even think of giving him a chance and that irritated him.

But he could never be angry with you, never with you. You took great care of the world and everyone! Your team's always all healed up, well-fed, and you tried to avoid any monsters so that your team wouldn't have to fight so much. He knows how great you are because he watches. No he was not stalking your team, he was simply keeping them safe, and of course, preventing any troubles from reaching you! He just wants to make it easier for you to keep Teyvat safe. Just like how he keeps Liyue safe, you keep Teyvat safe as well, always going around helping everyone be it from simply sending letters to fighting literal gods, you do anything and everything to protect the safety of the world... your world. He admires you so much for that. While you did seem a bit clumsy at times, giving the wrong artefacts and weapons to your acolytes, you still tried your best and that's what matters to him. You, no matter how clueless or confused, did your absolute best for the whole of Teyvat. You're just so... he can't find the proper words to even express his awe and admiration for you.

【 ✦ 】

Xiao blinks as he feels a strange presence overcome him. This... was a similar feeling ,described by the main acolytes, of being controlled. Except... this wasn't your presence. Plus, he knows you're resting around this time of the day. Is this an intruder? Where were you. He feels panic enter his system as his mind suddenly goes through all the worst case scenarios you could possibly be in. Where were you? Who's this stranger?

Suddenly, he gets placed in a void full of stars and he feels himself being studied. After a few seconds, he could feel his power go up- oh. Is it time? Is he finally being used as a main acolyte?

Then, his usual weapon is switched out with another. Hmm... a white tassel. It's alright, he can still make do with this. He cannot be ungrateful. Not long after, a wide array of artefacts float in front of him. Not the best, but there are still plenty of good options.

Before he knows it, he sees the other acolytes beside him. Wait, there's one missing... Where's Chongyun? He knows Chongyun's your favourite so where- he's been replaced. More specifically, Xiao has replaced Chongyun. His artefacts were Chongyun's.

You called?

While he was happy to finally be closer to you, he couldn't help but feel guilty for replacing Chongyun. The boy will be heartbroken for sure, but even then, Xiao allowed himself to indulge in his selfishness just this once, indulging himself in the pure ecstasy he's feeling. Finally. Finally, he's a step closer to you, and he can finally help you keep the peace in Teyvat. He does not admit to himself that in all honesty, all this time, he just wanted to feel you closer, have a more intimate connection rather than trying to feed off crumbs of your presence from the acolytes he wasn't a part of. He definitely has to thank the strange presence for this chance.

Now, all he has to do is wait for you to wake from your rest.

Bonus

You rub your bleary eyes, waiting for the game to load.

Xiao's face stares back at you.

You shoot up, much more wide awake than before. XIAO? You look down at his HP bar just to see "Lvl 60" right beside it. NO WAY. Frantically opening the character menu, you looked at his attributes, weapons and artefacts. You let out a shriek of delight as you close the menu and stare at Xiao from all angles with a stupid smile on your face. Your friend built Xiao for you while you were sleeping!!

Reduced to standing around. How absurd.

God, he's so pretty! And you can finally use him! You take him running around for a while, starting easy with slimes. It's so cool watching him fight and you're so excited to use him even more. You need to thank your friend immediately!

You: YOU BUILT XIAO? TYSM I WAS GETTING SO SAD ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO USE HIM ToT ILY<3

#sagau #genshin sagau #sagau xiao #genshin #genshin impact #xiao #genshin fics #genshin impact fics #self aware genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #xiao fics #xiao imagines #sagau brainrot #self aware genshin au

504 notes · View notes

ahundredtimesover · 3 years

Text

Inevitable (05) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected/protected sex but be safe please!)

Chapter Word count: 7.5k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

Series Masterlist || Previous || Next

You’re met with silence on the other end of the phone as a response that you start to consider Jungkook having fainted or something. But you hear a long drawn out breath and sniffles instead, and you will yourself not to cry again.

It’s been an emotional night, one you’ve been waiting for, and you wanted nothing more than to deliver the good news as soon as possible.

“That’s… that’s great, ___. Wow, uhm, he really said that? That he wishes I was his Papa? Like, it came from him? He drew me with you and him?” Jungkook asks, voice shaky.

“And Mr. Choochoo,” you add.

“And Mr. Choochoo, of course,” he laughs.

“But yes, that’s what he said. He was shy about it, too but god, Jungkook, he looked so soft,” you huff, a smile on your face now as you recall how Jungwon looked earlier.

“He saw me shocked, though, so he just smiled, said it was okay because he knows whoever his Papa is will find him soon,” you narrate, recalling how that caused you to ready Jungwon for bed immediately so that he doesn’t see you cry, which you did, silently, as you watched him fall asleep.

“God, he’s so precious,” Jungkook cry-laughs.

You bask in the sound of his voice, so tender and full of yearning. And you wish so badly you can see him right now, knowing how important this moment is for him.

“I really wish I could take the train back home tonight,” he says, frustration in his voice.

“You have a game in the morning, Jungkook. It’s okay. Just use it as inspiration. We’ll be here when you get back and we can tell him,” you affirm.

The phone call goes on for another hour as you discuss how you’ll both tell Jungwon tomorrow. You go through different scripts, different scenarios, and possible reactions to make sure you’re ready.

Even with Jungwon’s openness, he’s still just a kid; you can’t truly be certain how he’ll react and if he’ll understand. But you try to focus on the best case scenario and that’s him, taking it all in and accepting Jungkook, loving him the way his father loves him.

You fall asleep with Jungwon curled next to you, enveloped in your arms, in your love, the one you’ve given unconditionally the last five years as you nursed a broken heart and quelled the longing you’ve had for his father.

You knew what you were doing that night when you walked out of Jungkook’s life. It wasn’t a goodbye, although you had to make it seem like it was; you felt that it was the only way he’d let you go. It wasn’t the same for you, though, because you knew that the moment you’d birth your child, you’d be seeing Jungkook every single day - a reminder of what your love can create, and what it can endure. And what you’ll continue to endure for the sake of your child.

It’s a big step, letting Jungwon know. The priority after would be making up for the lost time, the time that you denied them. You can’t say that you regret the decision you made all those years ago but you also can’t say that you’ll make it every single time; you’ll stand by it always, though.

All that time, it at least comforted you that Jungkook was living out his dream, the one that mattered to him more than anything else, because his father mattered to him more than anyone else. He shined so bright in Jungkook’s eyes, and even with the short life that he lived, Jungkook’s father lived it passionately, courageously, fiercely, and with no regrets.

It’s why Jungkook loved him with his whole heart. And it’s what you’ve always wanted your child to feel towards the man who deserves the world. You want Jungwon to always look up to his father with wide eyes and a beaming heart at the passionate, courageous, and loving man that he is, at the man with no regrets.

If things get hard and you can trace it to the decision you made, you can shoulder that regret, you can live with it. As long as Jungkook doesn’t have to. You love him that much. You know now more than ever that you’ll love him always.

It takes a while for Jungkook to step in your doorway as he takes deep breaths. You look at each other longer this time, as you share your first parent moment together - telling your son the truth.

“He’s waiting for you,” you say to him.

Jungkook nods and follows you to your living room where a Bears-jersey clad Jungwon is playing with a piano that his uncle Yoongi - whom he’s never actually met - gave him.

“Hey buddy, you watched my game?” Jungkook asks as he kneels in front of the little one, who timidly nods and proceeds to nibble on his lips.

He’s been quiet the whole day. Your son has this natural ability to feel with others, and you think he saw the melancholic look on your face the night before and probably mistook it for sadness.

“You think I played well?”

Jungwon nods again, avoiding the older man’s eyes.

Jungkook motions him to sit on the couch and you join Jungkook on the floor, eyes level with the little one.

“So, Mama told me you colored Mr. Choochoo yesterday at school. I’ve learned to really like Mr. Choochoo,” Jungkook says, picking up the elephant stuffed toy on the table. “Is it okay if I see it?”

Jungwon looks at his hands gripping each other on his lap, then shakes his head no.

You discussed this with Jungkook, how Jungwon would probably feel shy and nervous, maybe even guilty for wishing such a thing.

“Hmm, is it okay if you tell me how you colored Mr. Choochoo? And if you drew anything else? Mama told me it was really pretty.”

The little one remains silent, eyes still not meeting yours nor Jungkook’s.

“Hey sweetcheeks,” you try, gently lifting his chin up to look at you. “You might have thought Mama was sad last night, huh? You think I got upset after you showed me the drawing?”

He slightly nods.

“I wasn’t upset, okay?” You reply softly. “I was actually very happy. I should have told you that I wasn’t sad at all. I should tell you next time what I really feel, I know that now.”

Jungwon finally looks at you and holds your gaze.

“Cookie is asking to see your drawing because I told him what you said,” and you hold his hands, as his eyes widen, to try and calm him down. “But he’s not sad about it, you see? Cookie was really happy too. And he hopes you can tell him what you told me.”

You and Jungkook let him have his time, let him process things in a way a soon-to-be 5 year old can. Even with this, you still want it to be on his terms, even if you may have led him there somehow.

Jungwon turns to his hands on his lap again, as if contemplating his next words.

“I said I wish Cookie was my Papa,” he whispers after some time; it’s so faint you could easily miss it.

Next to you, Jungkook holds his breath.

“I really wish that too, buddy,” he finally says, lowering his head to meet Jungwon’s face. “But you know what? We don’t have to keep wishing anymore. Because you see…” He clears his throat and swallows hard, prompting Jungwon to look up at him.

“Buddy, I am your Papa, okay? I…” he continues, struggling with his words. “I… You… You don’t have to be scared about it because I’m here, Papa is here. And Papa loves you very much. The way Mama loves you.”

Jungwon looks at you, as if to get your confirmation. You nod at him, affirming him that it’s okay. It’s a very drawn out conversation. It’s torturous but you also know it’s necessary.

“You’re my Papa?”

“Yes, buddy, I am,” Jungkook smiles, the same time the tears stream down his face. “I am,” he whispers repeatedly, so softly, as if begging the little one to believe him.

Jungwon reaches out his tiny hand and wipes the tears off Jungkook’s cheek, a gentle smile slowly forming on the little one’s lips as his eyes get wider. Then he leans forward and wraps his little arms around his father’s neck.

Jungkook is so shocked that it takes him a while to register what’s happening, and he hugs the boy back before it’s too late. Jungwon’s hugged him before but not like this, and this is definitely worth the wait.

“I have a Papa now,” he says, something you pick up, too in the silence that’s enveloping the three of you. At this, Jungkook hugs tightly and shuts his eyes to let more tears fall.

He tries to steady his breath, careful not to be too hysterical because he wants to bask in this, he wants to savor this - savor his son call him Papa, savor his tiny body cling onto him, savor this feeling of holding the one person he never thought he could love with his whole heart because he didn’t think he’d even be able to create someone as precious as him.

“Yes, Jungwon. You have me now, and I have you now, okay? And I love you so, so much,” Jungkook says, eyes still shut at the overwhelming feeling of joy and adoration.

For years he didn’t even know that Jungwon existed. At the first sight of him next to you, Jungkook had this strange feeling of familiarity over someone he’s never met, but those eyes that shone as bright and as wide as his told him something, showed him something that was missing.

The past months of getting to know his son just proved the connection that binds them together, the love that’s meant to exist not just by nature but by will. Jungkook has loved his son since he knew that Jungwon was his and it only made the desire for the truth stronger. This moment will stay with Jungkook for the rest of his life.

And you’re there to witness it all.

By now, you’re standing by the couch, letting the two have their moment. You’ve let but one tear fall because you know that Jungwon’s attention will be brought to you once he sees you crying but you want it all on his father. You want them to have their time together, to let that undeniable connection grow and deepen even more.

Jungkook finally pulls away and looks at his son, who has glassy eyes and a shy smile like him.

Jungwon jumps off the couch and scurries to the room, leaving a surprised Jungkook. But you know what your son is up to. Not long after, he runs out and hands Jungkook the artwork of his family - a very large Mr. Choochoo with him, you, and Jungkook.

“That’s you!” Jungwon declares, joyful disposition now back.

“We’re matching, huh, buddy? You like it when we look like that?” Jungkook asks, sniffing his cries away.

“Yes! I want to look like you,” Jungwon says softly.

“You already look like me,” the older man giggles.

“I want like this,” the younger one states, pointing to the whole ensemble.

They go back-and-forth and you laugh at them, heart warming at the thought that this will be a more common sight in your household now, as you know that Jungkook will want more of this to make sure that his son won’t feel neglected by him.

Any other talk about schedules and what this new development would mean to both of you are conversations for another day, you decide. And you let this be for now.

The scent of beef stew wafts through your whole apartment and you pat yourself on the back for being able to make it as appetizing as this. You knew this had to be dinner tonight, whether things went well or not.

The rice is cooking, the muffins look good in the oven, and the sound of father and son laughing is competing with the thrumming of your heart.

It’s just been a few hours since you and Jungkook revealed the truth, with Jungwon’s reaction so much better than you expected. It might have caused Jungkook a bit of a heart attack but he’ll take anything as long as the little one accepts him.

Since then, the pair has gone on to play a bit of music - with the older man on xylophone duty, and have storytelling, with Jungwon insisting that Jungkook will be the one to read him Lion King from now on because you definitely can’t make your voice as low as Mufasa’s.

You got through two photo albums, too, with Jungkook insisting so he could at least feel like he hasn’t missed much. You were telling stories to the men, answering questions from them both.

There was that first haircut, the first holiday, the first snow. There was that first stroll down the park, the first swing, the first trip to the beach. There were his first friends, his first day at daycare, then his first day at preschool.

In most photos, there were your parents, your brother, your best friend - the constants in your life who have become constants in Jungwon’s, as well, who protected and loved him with their whole hearts, too. And Jungwon has loved them just the same.

You knew there was always something missing, and for some reason, you believe that Jungwon knew that, too.

He never asked to be spoiled by his uncles, never begged for their attention, never asked for more. Even if they were his usual babysitters on nights when you had to pull in more work hours, there was a connection but never the kind of attachment you’d expect from a little kid who probably wonders why he doesn’t have a father that he sees everyday. He clung to his uncles for love and support for as long as they were around.

But he would ask about Jungkook in his little ways, ever since he knew him as the man who fixed his toy airplane, who twirled him around and tossed him up and hugged him with every fall back to strong arms.

He was never rowdy around Jungkook the way he’d be with Taehyung - who sometimes was more of the child than your son - or not as attentive the way he’d be with Namjoon, although even you’d be intimidated with your brother’s professor-tone of voice and disposition.

With Jungkook, Jungwon was himself. Maybe it’s because they’re alike in many ways; maybe it’s because he sees someone who resembles him, laughs like him, enjoys the same things as him. Regardless, it’s like with Jungkook, Jungwon felt understood, seen.

Each man’s love had been deliberate but because Jungkook had loved his son unconditionally since he knew, somehow you can’t help but think that Jungwon always felt that, too.

You think about all this as you watch both of them make figures out of clay, with Jungkook helping and molding whatever shape Jungwon asks him. They look so good together, so free, so full of love.

Your lips begin to quiver as the emotions from last night and earlier today start to consume you, given that you’ve been holding them back for fear of upsetting Jungwon and taking away the moment of father and son.

Jungwon tells you everyday that he loves you, he’s a sweet kid like that. But you know that he’s also capable of loving another the same way, and that person is sitting next to him. He looks so happy, so content, so safe, like how he’s always been with you.

And Jungkook radiates with so much joy, too, with so much love and affection. He looks just as happy, as content, as safe.

As Jungwon lifts up his finished product - a brown figure in white - and exclaims “Papa, I made you,” you lose it.

You cover your mouth before anything comes out to muffle the sound but your wails spill right through, strangled cries and gasps for air filling the apartment now.

Your one hand holds onto the end of the counter as the other one covers your mouth, an insufficient effort to not get the attention of either man just a few feet away. It’s uncontrollable now and you feel your face is soaking wet, eyes stinging from how tightly you’re trying to shut them.

You’re still trying to hold it in until strong arms engulf you, and your face lands on a sturdy chest, the heart underneath it beating almost as fast as yours.

“It’s okay, ___. Cry it out. It’s okay,” Jungkook says, his arms gripping you tighter, hands sliding up and down on your back.

Your hand moves from your mouth to his chest, joining the other one, as they grip on his shirt and you cry, probably the hardest you have in a while.

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to take this all away from you, I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” you sob.

“I kept him away from you for so long and I denied you all this,” you continue in between cries. “I denied you both this happiness, this love. Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

Your words are muffled as you shout it all on his chest, his shirt undoubtedly soaked by now.

But he hears you, he hears everything, feels the beat of your heart and the desperation in your voice and the guilt in your words as you grip on his collar for dear life, as if doing so can heal the wounds that have marked you just the same.

“It’s okay, ___. I forgive you. It’s okay,” he affirms.

He wonders if you had someone to hold you like this during the times you cried, or if you ever allowed yourself to be like this in front of others.

Jungkook wishes that he could have, that he was there for you; maybe you wouldn’t be crying so hard if he was. You wouldn’t have had to carry all this burden by yourself if that was the case.

He remains like this, letting his heat give you the warmth you need, with hope that it could be enough to ease all the pain and worry from before, during the times you were alone, or felt alone.

He continues massaging your back, his lips leaving pecks on the top of your head as if you can feel them, but he does it anyway. He does what he used to do to comfort you, hoping it would work because he never had to do this while you were sobbing, because you never really did that with him. He knew what to do when you were stressed or frustrated or flustered, exactly like this.

He doesn’t know what to do when you cry.

Your breath starts to steady, your tears not waterfalling as they were just earlier, and you slowly pull yourself away. Jungkook lingers though, his hands still on your arms, caressing them.

You’re startled as you see wide eyes staring up at you, a frown now spreading across Jungwon’s face. This is why you didn’t wanna cry, not right now at least.

“Mama?” He calls out.

You carry him because it’s been a mother-and-son thing to comfort each other when one is sad, as such emotion is something you’ve learned to easily share with each other.

“Hey, sweetcheeks,” you say, as you try to wipe off your tears from your face even if new ones fall right after.

He runs his little hands through your tear-stained face, as if they can do more than your big ones but you giggle at the act anyway.

“It’s okay, Mama. I love you, Mama.”

You hug him this time, and you hug him tightly.

Jungkook weakens at the sight, as if he could cry again at this moment. You sounded so hurt crying on his chest earlier and now you look so vulnerable, so scared, things he’d rarely seen you be. But you look so soft, so tender, as you envelope your son in an embrace.

He wants to do that with you too, with both of you. He wants to remove the damp hair that’s stuck on your forehead away, tuck it behind your ear and wipe the tears that continue to fall. But he holds himself back, afraid to undo the progress between the both of you.

Jungwon pulls away and starts to kiss your cheek, the way he always would. You love this part because you’re reminded of just how much of an affectionate and loving little boy he is, and you can’t help but feel comforted and safe.

“Mama stops crying when I kiss her,” Jungwon turns to Jungkook and reaches out his hand, which the older man takes and he’s pulled closer to you both.

“Papa, you should kiss her, too so she stops crying,” he says, pulling Jungkook nearer.

You laugh at this to mask the nervousness you’re feeling, thankful that your warm cheeks can hide how flushed you now are because of your son’s proposition.

Not wanting to disappoint his son - and more, definitely more - Jungkook removes the damp hair from your face, tucks it behind your ear then kisses your forehead.

It’s not much but he lets it linger. He wants to let you know through this the words he’s not ready to say, to give you the comfort he wishes he got to give before.

You close your eyes and just this once, you let yourself feel it, feel his lips on your skin again, feel the words he doesn’t say.

Jungkook looks at you with so much affection, and then he giggles, then you giggle, and Jungwon wraps his arms around your neck and whines that he’s hungry.

It’s so intimate, so real. And you can’t help but feel something for the first time in a long time.

You feel complete.

“Mama, look! Is it nice?” Jungwon asks, as he turns to you sporting an Ironman helmet.

This is the third one he’s tried and you just know he has his tiny smile on behind it. His voice is muffled but you make out the words.

“Yes, bug. But it looks big, maybe look for another one?” You respond.

“He’ll grow into it, it’s the only kids’ size they have,” Jungkook counters, as he helps Jungwon remove the thing on his head and the little one scurries to the next shelf. “It’s the one with the most features and sound effects.”

“What does he need more features for? The lights are fine,” you argue.

“For combat, ___. We need features for combat,” Jungkook deadpans.

You roll your eyes because he’s taking this whole shopping thing too seriously.

After the other week’s momentous occasion, which called for a celebratory lunch with all your friends - including Yoongi and Hoseok who finally got to meet the little one, albeit briefly since they’re new faces - it has been a smooth transition for Jungkook and Jungwon, who all of a sudden have a handshake and secret language of their own. It’s adorable though, the way they whisper and laugh like they’re in their own little world.

You’re currently in a store that houses the best collection of Ironman merchandise - according to Jungkook, who’s apparently done his research - and Jungwon came in looking like he’d entered some wardrobe to Narnia but his face had been the cutest it’s ever been and you take it.

You’ve never been here before because of the intimidating size of the place and you always wanted to limit the toys you’d get for Jungwon; he has enough people spoiling him with those, except maybe your brother who’s taken to giving the little one books and plants instead, because, well, it’s Namjoon. You’re thankful for those, though.

“Do you think the material of this beach towel is as water absorbent as it says it is? Or should I just get this other one instead? But the print isn’t as nice,” Jungkook asks, and you scowl at him because “really, an Ironman beach towel?”

“That’s not necessary, Jungkook, and you said you wouldn’t spoil him.”

“I said I wouldn’t spoil him right away, and it’s been two weeks so I think it’s okay. Plus, look at him. He looks so excited and in awe with everything that’s in here.”

“Which is why I never brought him here but someone was being a baby about it,” you glare at him, recalling how earlier in the day, Jungkook was pouting at you and repeating ‘please’ like a mantra for you to agree with coming here so he could buy Jungwon more Ironman toys.

“I couldn’t resist that face,” he shares.

“Exactly. That’s why I don’t give him an opening,” you say. “But really though, watch him explore and inspect but he’ll only get 3 items max.”

“But he said he liked the car, and the remote-controlled figure, and the one with the combat pack, and the motion-activated repulsors, and the arc reactor…”

You stand with your arms crossed, a knowing look on your face. “Did he say that or you asked?”

“Well, he agreed…”

And it’s taking so much of you not to pinch the cheeks of this grown man who’s been caught in a little lie. Jungkook looks so adorable, the look on his face is exactly how you remember it to be whenever he’d been in a toy store or a baseball store.

“Of course he would. Because you probably looked so excited,” you laugh. “I told you how he is, he doesn’t like turning people down. Plus, he probably wanted to impress you, too, by liking everything you like.”

Jungkook nods in agreement, knowing how his son is. Even with his shy nature, he’s probably the type to quietly sit next to a kid who doesn’t have friends or share his snacks with someone who doesn’t have much.

Jungkook smiles at this, a bit of worry that the little one may be taken advantage of but perhaps teaching him to stand up for himself is a better problem to have.

You both watch Jungwon pick up a few things, inspect them, then return them on the shelf.

“You know he’d be wanting that growing up, right? Getting his old man’s approval, bonding with you like that?” You ask Jungkook as you both walk towards where Jungwon is.

You don’t have to say anything more and what that would imply because Jungkook knows. He’d thought about this a lot, how as much as he wants Jungwon to like the same things he does, he wouldn’t want to impose, wouldn’t want the kid to grow up thinking he has to constantly get approval from his old man.

Jungkook knows what that’s like, and much as he loves his own father, he knows that it was deliberate, too, making him fall in love with baseball.

“Okay, buddy,” Jungkook asks as he kneels down next to Jungwon. “So, you still have some toys at home so why don’t we pick just a few things, alright? Maybe around 4?”

You giggle next to them because Jungkook would always push it.

Jungwon nods and looks at the shopping cart shyly.

“I like everything in this whole store so go get what you want, okay?” Jungkook claims after you nudge him.

The little one smiles and runs to another aisle, with you and Jungkook on his tail. Jungwon ends up choosing a plush toy, a simpler pair of repulsor gloves, an electronic watch, and the helmet that Jungkook said had more features, which is the only one that was retained from the initial choices.

“Yes, okay. I’ll do better next time,” Jungkook laughs, and his heart melts at your cocked eyebrow and triumphant smile.

You all walk towards the counter, a skipping Jungwon in front of you, then you hear a loud gasp that causes even the little one to stop and turn towards his father.

Jungkook stops in front of the clothing section, mouth agape at a shirt that has an arc reactor on the chest, definitely a better option than the toy from earlier. His eyes are wide and you know he’s begging in his head for Jungwon to notice this.

But he doesn’t. The little one looks up and eyes a maroon shirt with a simple Ironman graphic on it instead. It's a kids’ size right next to an adult one, and Jungkook’s face falls a little before he smiles.

“You like that, sweetcheeks?” You ask him, and Jungwon replies with a nod.

“Okay, let’s get it then,” you smile.

“Can you and Papa get too?” He asks.

You laugh at this. “He’s really your kid,” you whisper to Jungkook, whose smile is so soft at the thought of his son wanting matching shirts.

“Of course, buddy,” he says, looking for sizes for all three of you.

You resume your walk to the counter, with Jungkook mumbling that he also liked the “I love you 3000” shirt and was hoping that Jungwon would choose it.

“He won’t get it,” you respond.

“What? Don’t tell me you’ve never watched Endgame!” Jungkook asks in shock.

“I have, he hasn’t.”

“But that’s the best movie ever!” Jungkook exclaims.

“You’ve seen him cry over Toy Story, Jungkook. How do you think he’ll be when he finds out what happens to his superhero? He’s not ready for that. I’m not ready for that! For all I know, you cried so how do you think he’s gonna react?”

“___, I cried in all Ironman movies, okay? Also, I sobbed in Endgame. Like, at the end and then pretty much the entire movie when I watched it again right after. By myself.”

You snort at this and shake your head at him, but you’re also not surprised. Jungkook’s the softest dork you know who’s definitely not afraid of showing emotions like that. It’s why you two worked so well together, and why you think co-parenting Jungwon wouldn’t be that hard, too.

In fact, you know it’s going to be a lot of fun, if the past weeks are anything to go by, especially today. Jungkook has such a bright energy, a contrast to how he is on the field.

Out there, he’s serious, intimidating, and pretty cocky, but that last bit you secretly love for how much of a turn on it is, not just because he has the skills to back it up but because he has this look where he knows he’s good and he’ll make sure the other person will know it, too. You’re not quite sure how Jungwon will take after his father in that way, but you also don’t mind.

Part of the parenting discussion that you and Jungkook have been having include making sure that Jungwon finds his own self, identifies his own passions, and carves his own path. As parents, you’ll give him as many opportunities and experiences as possible, making sure that he feels loved and appreciated whatever he decides to be.

You allow yourself this short moment to imagine what it would be like to do more than just co-parent, as Jungwon pulls your hand for him to hold as his other one holds Jungkook’s hand, too, as you walk out the store.

He sways both his arms and there’s this new kind of glow to his face, a new kind of joy, something that’s more apparent when the three of you are together. You want to see this look on Jungwon everyday if possible, but that might be too much to ask.

The little one tugs your arm and points to the cotton candy stand and you motion for him to tell his father, as you know that it will still take getting used to for Jungwon to ask Jungkook for things.

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “Papa likes those, too.”

Jungwon takes your word for it and tugs Jungkook’s hand this time and points to the stand, causing the older man’s face to light up.

You’re carrying the little one as he watches in awe at the way the puffy cloud is shaped into an adorable-looking pig. After a few minutes of admiring it, Jungkook takes a piece and feeds Jungwon, whose eyes close in delight at the taste. His arms are hanging from your neck as he leans closer to Jungkook who alternates feeding himself and his son.

“Not too much, bug,” you say softly.

He nods and tells you to taste it and you shake your head because sweets aren't really your thing, but you eventually give in to Jungwon's sad face.

“Papa, feed Mama, too!”

Jungkook notices your scandalized face, although it is just cotton candy, but he’s amused, and a little giddy, too. He knows this isn’t something worthy of rejecting your little boy over so he smiles at you before he feeds you with a small piece of the cloud-like treat.

You make a face and Jungwon laughs at you and you gush at how this whole thing is making him happy. He deserves all this and more.

That night, you and Jungkook tuck him in bed as the little one’s eyes’ droop at the sound of his father’s soft humming of a lullaby, a contented smile gracing his face.

Jungkook kisses the little one’s forehead and caresses his cheek. “I love you so much, buddy,” he says, and just like Jungwon earlier today, there’s a glow, a new kind of joy on Jungkook’s face. It fits him well, and he looks even more beautiful like this.

He lingers next to Jungwon and the way he looks just makes you happy, hopeful. You’re collecting moments. You think for now, this is all you can do.

It’s been a bad day.

No, scratch that. It’s been a terrible day.

You’d just spent the whole morning arguing with building owners and your head is about to explode. What’s worse is you couldn’t even show exactly how angry you were because Jungwon is with you, and he can’t see his Mama fight people. You also can’t express just how frustrated you are because again, Jungwon is with you and he can’t hear his Mama curse and scream at the world.

Perhaps things have been too good lately. The past couple of weeks have been filled with more outdoor dates, movies and activities at your apartment, baseball games, bonding with the rest of the guys with Jungwon taking a liking to them, especially Hoseok who risks breaking his bones just to hear the little one laugh, and video calls when Jungkook has away games.

You’re less stressed at work because you can actually focus, since there’s a Jungkook to pick Jungwon up from daycare or look after him when you need to pull an all-nighter.

Perhaps this is the universe’s way of balancing things out because this isn’t the situation you were really hoping for.

Jin opens the door to his loft, the venue of today’s gathering because you’re doing taste tests for his new restaurant. It’s something you’re happy about because at least, you have your friends’ voices of reason for times like this.

Jungkook notices your agitated face and approaches you. You immediately give Jungwon to him, who smoothly moves from your arms to his father’s, and you stay by the window to try to get yourself together.

Your friends know to leave you be when you’re in distress and Jungkook keeps an eye on you. It’s when you grip your necklace - the moon and stars one that he gave you when you were together - and take deep breaths that he leaves Jungwon with his uncles, and walks over to you. Those had always been your tell.

Calming you down used to be his expertise. He’s not sure about now but you’ve been on such good terms that he thinks it’s worth a try.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asks, voice laced with worry.

“I…” You start, checking on Jungwon first before you say anything.

“He’s okay, Hoseok and Jimin are playing with him,” Jungkook says.

You move towards where the rest of the guys are and release a long breath.

“So, apparently the apartment we’re supposed to move into in two weeks has mold and the idiot of a building owner insists that it’s okay like that shit’s fine and like I don’t have a kid.” You huff.

“And he won’t give us the corner unit because it’s reserved for when he needs a place for his mistress and he offered the one in the 7th floor! I have a child! And there’s no elevator there!” You exclaim

“And your current apartment?” Yoongi finally asks after a while, everyone else just watching you unload.

“My lease ends this month and that other idiot of a building owner won’t let me extend it until I find a new place because he says someone’s moving in. I’m friends with his daughter. She said no one’s moving in. He’s just lying because he hates me,” you pant.

“Why does he hate you?” Jungkook asks, tone bitter.

“He’s a grumpy man who, in the very rare times that Jungwon threw tantrums, decided he dislikes little kids.”

“His own probably hates him, since his daughter is ratting him out,” Yoongi says.

“Well, I may have also paid my rent late but like, just thrice in the past year and he just doesn’t have any form of compassion for this hardworking mother who has the sweetest child in the world,” you pout, and Jungkook giggles to himself because you’d never been this dramatic, although the situation does call for a bit of that.

“I’m sure you’ll find another place,” Yoongi offers, like it’s that simple.

“That apartment was in the best location. I was lucky to have even found one there that I could afford, so it’ll take time,” you explain, shoulders sagging now, as if in defeat. “It’s close to the kindergarten that Jungwon is enrolled in for next month and the primary school we plan to enroll him in next year.”

We. Jungkook smiles at this. You’ve been saying that a lot lately.

“And it’s in a nice district, too, and it’s safe and it has parks nearby. Ugh, stupid assholes had to ruin it for us. And it’s Jungwon’s birthday soon and I was really hoping to be settled by then,” you continue, eyebrows scrunched in frustration.

It’s silent for a while with everyone just staring at you, as if the answer is literally in front of you.

“So in short, you’ll be homeless in 2 weeks and you need a place to stay,” Yoongi clarifies.

“Yes… well that’s oversimplified but—“

“You do know that you have a whole ass baby daddy here who’s very capable and hoping to—“ Jin grunts, interrupted by a painful elbow to his gut, with Jungkook glaring at him.

He faces you and smiles, a complete 180 from how he was just with Jin.

“What he actually means is that my apartment is near Jungwon’s school. I have spare bedrooms you can use. It has amenities and parks nearby, and it’s safe,” he says calmly.

Jungkook’s actually nervous about how you’ll take the suggestion. When Jin mentioned having you and Jungwon move in, Jungkook hasn’t stopped thinking about it ever since. He’s glad for the opening, as he wouldn’t know how to bring it up without scaring you away.

“You’re asking me, I mean us, to move in with you? I mean, for now?” You ask nervously.

“Sure, why not? I mean, if it’s okay with you. It’s practical, you won’t have to worry about anything, and… it’d be nice to come home to, you know…” He clears his throat. “It’d be nice to get to see Jungwon everyday.”

You don’t miss your friends’ looks of agreement; even Namjoon has a soft smile on.

You still, suddenly nervous at the thought of living with Jungkook, even if you convince yourself that should you agree, it’s just temporary because you still intend to find a place on your own. Your co-parenting discussions with him were always based on the premise of living separately so you don’t think you should stray from that initial plan.

The guys notice your nervousness and decide to move to the other side of the room to give you and Jungkook some privacy.

You take this time to think about it. While you fear for your heart that would probably flutter and sigh at the thought of seeing your ex-boyfriend everyday, you also know you don’t have that many options.

“I’m not agreeing right now but are you sure you’re okay with that?” You ask Jungkook as he stands in front of you, your eyes anxious to meet his.

You know it’s a silly question but you need to hear it again, you need to know that it’s something he wants, too. It seems like a practical step but it’s still a big one. More than that, though, you know it would be good for father and son to spend everyday together, and you don’t want to get in between that.

Jungkook senses this and this version of you is someone he knows how to deal with.

“Yes, I am sure. I would very much like for you and Jungwon to stay with me. I think it’ll be easier for all of us. While you, uh, look for—“

“Another place to stay, yes,” you finish. You look at him nervously.

There’s more you want to say, like things are getting hard and you need more than just to help with Jungwon, you need him. You want to say, too, that the past weeks have been great but it’s also been difficult trying to control your feelings for him, ones you’re sure that never really went away. You want to tell him that you miss his hugs, his kisses, his warmth; you miss his love.

“Yeah, of course,” he responds, looking away briefly.

He hears your bated breaths, though, feels your anxiety from where he stands, and he wants nothing more than to ease your worries.

He turns his gaze on you and engulfs your hands in his, his warm touch sending shivers through you. It’s so familiar and something you’ve been yearning for. You return his look and will your heart to still.

“You’re not alone in worrying about this, okay?” He says, grounding you. “There are options and we’ll figure this out together, and I don’t wanna pressure you but this is kind of a time-sensitive thing,” he smiles.

“So I’ll be forward and tell you now that I prefer that you and Jungwon stay with me. For how long, I don’t care, we’ll figure that out, too. I just…” He continues. “I'd rather have you there with me. I want you both there with me. It’s much safer and practical.”

There’s no point in delaying it. Whatever the consequences of this arrangement would be, you and Jungkook will figure that out, too. At least you’ll do it together. So you nod your agreement.

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, something you both now do when you say your goodbyes, due in part to the not-so-subtle prodding of your son. You know it’s also because Jungkook can tell that you’re stressed over this and just like before, he’s trying to tell you that it’s going to be okay, that you’re not alone in this anymore.

You bask in Jungkook’s warmth, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist, not minding the snickers and knowing looks of your friends.

It’s not long before you hear tiny footsteps approaching you and a tug on your shirt. You and Jungkook pull away from the hug and find a wide-eyed Jungwon looking up at you, a soft smile gracing his face.

“I want a hug, too!” He states, arms raised.

Jungkook laughs and carries the little one in his left arm, with his right one pulling you closer, then settling it lightly on your waist.

“You jealous, buddy?” Jungkook chuckles, earning a playful glare from you.

“I like it when Mama and Papa hug me,” Jungwon explains.

“I know, sweetcheeks,” you say, taking a deep breath, knowing there’s no taking this back after. You take the risk, as you look at how Jungkook is looking tenderly at you and it’s giving you hope.

“Will you like it if Mama and Papa hug you everyday?” You ask. “Would you like it, too, if you see Papa everyday?”

The little one nods vigorously, and you and Jungkook laugh at this.

“Okay, then you will.” You kiss his cheek and look at Jungkook, as if in agreement. “Let’s see Papa everyday, okay bug?”

Jungwon squeals and proceeds to kiss you and Jungkook on the cheeks, another moment that you know you’ll be getting a lot more of moving forward.

“We’re doing this, huh?” Jungkook asks, as he puts the little one down who’s insisting that his uncles are waiting for him.

“We are. Together, right?” You respond.

“Together.”

Series Masterlist || Previous || Next

- Taglist: @fluffyjoons @jwlmnbt @koremis @mrcleanheichou @kooafraid @purplepommy @btstannies @jeonwiixard @songshin @joondala @hobiade @di0rgguk @fan-atic-blog–c @yn-the-reader @spicybangtanwings @njkbangtan @jeoncookie-bts @miniaturecloud @revehosh @preciouschimine @sherlynxx @dimreads @mwitsmejk @craftymoonchaos @queenmasterxx @ungodlyjoon @kookiesbaby02 @yiyi4657 @crewzie-chan @wearenot7withu @evafrechette @gamerkooks @iwanttohitmyself @sugaslittlekookies @kmadelin @mal99 @daobofs @petuliii @namjooningelsewhere @she-is-dreaming @jungkooksseuphoria @seventeenis-thedream @namucries @ellesalazar @imluckybitches @tinyhoagiepartylover @busansonenonly @mangminnie @vampgguk @jiminscheekies @maichiverse @sulkingheichou012

#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfiction #parents au #exes au #baseball player jk #inevitable #series

2K notes · View notes

deathbringer · 2 years

Text

so. hello, valduggery enjoyers! I mean this from the bottom of my heart: forget all about Phase Two, even if only for five minutes.

Because I’m here with another preview of my immediately-post-TDOTL reunion fic (first preview posted here) and I need validation to finish the thing. Even a like will do! Replies and/or tag commentary encouraged however.

I’m sitting at almost 4500 words. Hopefully at most there’s another 800 to go. HELP ME.

Excerpt following the read-more. (She’s just finished crying all over him, and then dared to make a joke about getting snot on his lapels.)

────────────────────────────────

“Blood has some dignity to it. Blood could tell a hundred interesting stories. Snot is for children, or people with head colds, or, best case scenario—and I use the phrase loosely—some kind of impressively disgusting cave monster I vanquished.”

She cocks her head, a beautiful trace of the old fire in her bearing. “Which one am I?”

Obviously I do not miss a beat. “The exception that proves the rule.” A grin blossoms on her face, and yes, yes. Does she feel it too? The engine of our banter finally warming up?

“How do you do that,” she asks, the grin losing its sharp edges. “How are you so good at making me forget all the...complicated mess of everything?”

Something passably witty occurs to me. “Well, I—” But she holds up a hand, and what’s left of her grin turns faded and sad. No. Damn it. I press forward, just a little, and she blinks at me, and I put one hand to her face, brush my thumb across her cheek. She leans into it almost like an afterthought, closing her eyes as she talks.

“Skulduggery. It’s all going to come back. The mess.”

There are a lot of things she could mean. Nightmares. Flashbacks. Mood swings. The yawning grief of existence. “Then we’ll deal with it together, you and I. Like we always do.”

#valduggery #skulduggery pleasant #writing #to be perfectly honest the biggest reason i'm struggling is not lack of drive or even frustration at tying it up #it's that i've just started seasons of war and i am SO TIRED of reading about val's self loathing.#even trying my best to write it differently (and better) i am just. so fatigued. let her be happy.#let my girl heal please for the LOVE OF GOD.#also while i'm here: child of the faceless ones??? girl are you kidding me #anyway. thanks in advance for your participation :)#trick makes things tag

34 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

neontrender

genderz

maggieasblog

maggie

laentertainmentjobs

Untitled

bastmaro

Bast Maro

hemufahoca

Untitled