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#and i'm realizing how few 5* characters i have
aleyah-lavelle · 2 days
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Skateboard 5
Wind breaker
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fem bodied reader | smut | action | pwp | jayjo/fml | vinny/fml | wooin/fml | joker/fml | hyuk/fml | owen/fml | enemies to lovers | angsty | the other woman (?) | reverse harem | fluff | SLOW BURN! | all characters featured are 18+
author's note: i'm sorry if you're being impatient for smut, trust me, I was too. I just need the fml to interact with the boys. They say slow burn is at its finest.
✧˖° — windbreaker men
✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.
✧˖° — this is a story not one shot.
Jay followed my instructions, his movements more fluid this time. "Like this?" he asked, glancing at me for confirmation.
"Exactly," I said, smiling. "You're getting it."
For a moment, we were both silent, just standing there, him on his bike and me beside him. The tension from earlier seemed to melt away, replaced by a comfortable understanding.
"Thanks for the tip," Jay said, breaking the silence again.
"You're welcome," I replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "Just remember to keep your elbows wide and your grip firm. It'll help you stay balanced."
Jay nodded.
As we rejoined the rest of the group, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Interacting with Jay had been nerve-wracking, but it also felt surprisingly natural. Maybe joining their crew wouldn't be so bad after all.
I bit my lower lip as I realized June, Dom, Minu, Yuna, and Mia had been watching us the entire time. I felt so embarrassed! They must have been surprised, especially after our training where we warmed up with a 180km bike ride from the city to the countryside. It was exhausting, but I enjoyed it with them.
After our training, I noticed Jay practicing the tips I gave him, so I went over to help. But I didn’t expect the rest of the crew to be watching us!
"Wow, you're getting close to the foreigner. How come you always attract foreign girls?" June laughed, crossing his arms. Jay ignored him, continuing to drink his water.
"Damn, good thing Demitra can speak Korean. That blue-haired girl, I couldn’t understand a word she said!" Dom complained while wiping his sweat.
Blue-haired girl? That sounds familiar.
"You know her too?" Jay asked quietly from beside me, though I knew his friends were listening.
"Nah, I don't think so," I forced a smile. He looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to gauge the truth.
Minu cleared his throat. "We noticed you were teaching Jay. It seems you know a lot of biking skills?" he asked. Mia nodded in agreement.
I looked down at my bike, balancing without holding the handlebars. "Just a few," I said. Dom gave me a doubtful look. "I used to love doing tricks on ramps." I added.
"You're talking about the ramps at the skatepark?" June asked, eyes wide with shock.
I rubbed the back of my head, feeling embarrassed. "Yeah, that's my specialty."
Mia's jaw dropped. "If I'm not mistaken, are you one of those bicycle riders who do tricks in the air? Like spinning around?" she asked, stunned. I nodded.
"That's dangerous, right?" Dom asked June, who nodded in disbelief while looking at me.
"But of course, I don't use those in tournaments. Actually, I don't do those tricks much anymore. I'm more into sprint riding, like what Dom does," I explained, looking at Dom. Jay adjusted his posture, clearly interested.
"You also know some techniques for sprint riding?" Jay asked, and everyone looked at him. I laughed softly.
"Maybe a little?"
"You're just being humble," Yuna gave me a sharp look.
"Isn't it unfair that you’re teaching Jay but not us?" Dom said dramatically. Jay avoided his gaze and got on his bike.
"Well, I would love to help you—"
"It's too late. We need to go home now," Jay interrupted, making me widen my eyes.
"What!? Oh come on, man! Don't be so selfish!"
"What do you mean 'we'? Are you taking Demitra with you?" Minu clarified, locking eyes with Jay as if they were having a silent conversation.
I remembered our last conversation before the training session. Jay had offered to help me with my Korean literature studies. I even asked him where we’d study since it wasn't allowed at my place! Plus, I've never brought a guy to my apartment; my roommates might assume Jay is my boyfriend. How embarrassing would that be? Thankfully, he volunteered his place since he’s not allowed to stay out late either.
"He’s going to help me with Korean literature and history." I interjected into their conversation.
Mia chuckled. "You seem to learn quickly, judging by how well you speak Korean! I know you can do it."
"Just the two of you?" Minu asked Jay seriously. Jay looked at him without any emotion, but I could feel a strange tension.
"It won’t take long! Don’t worry!" I quickly added.
"Well, good luck, Demitra! Jay isn't the best teacher, you might give up halfway!" Dom laughed.
I noticed Jay had already started biking, so I hurriedly got on my bike and waved at everyone. "See you tomorrow!" I called out cheerfully before following Jay, who was ahead of me. I pouted. Why was he in such a hurry?
I followed Jay because I didn't know where his house was. He was quiet, but I guess that’s normal for him. I couldn’t believe Shelly liked this type of guy. It was very unusual for her.
I was deep in thought when we arrived at a large house. My jaw dropped in shock at how big his house was. Was this where he lived? Wow, he must be rich.
"Just park your bike here," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and did as he said, parking my bike next to his.
Without another word, he walked inside. I bit my lip nervously. Was he not going to invite me in? It felt awkward just walking in unannounced. What if his parents were inside?
I was startled when Jay came back. "What are you still standing there for? Come in," he said before turning away. I pouted.
"Who’s with you, Jay?" I was surprised to see a small boy wearing glasses. He seemed just as surprised to see me, his cheeks turning red. "W-Who..."
"Turn off the TV if you’re not watching," Jay told him. He went into what I assumed was his room, leaving the door open. Was that where we’d study?
"It's nice to meet you, Jay's brother. Hi! I'm Demitra!" I introduced myself, holding out my hand. Jay’s brother just stared at me, his face red. I frowned and forced a smile.
It was so awkward because Jay's brother didn't say a word. He was just staring at me like he was looking through my soul. I forced a smile. "I'll head in now," I said awkwardly before walking into Jay's room.
"Your brother is weird," I said to Jay, setting my bag on the table. I watched as Jay organized his things.
He didn’t respond, instead handing me three books, one of which was a dictionary. I frowned at the books.
"What is this?"
"A dictionary," he said, as if stating the obvious.
"Yes, I know it's a dictionary. What's it for?" I raised an eyebrow. "I’m struggling more with Korean literature and history than the language itself."
His expression didn’t change. "Your Korean isn’t that good," he stated. My jaw dropped. "Maybe that’s why you can't understand our lessons about history."
"Hey, take that back! You understand what I’m saying! Even your friends!"
He shook his head. "It’s lame. I can barely understand you."
I dramatically held my chest. "Whatever, no offense, but Japanese is easier to learn than Korean."
"I agree."
I couldn’t believe this guy! I let out a sharp breath before sitting down. The contents of the books were overwhelming. This was harder than physics. Why did I end up in Korea? I glanced at Jay, who was staring at his phone.
"Are you going to teach me or not?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He looked at me boredly.
"Read that first."
"How can I read it if I don’t understand it?" I said sarcastically.
He stared at me for a moment before sighing and putting his phone down. He took the dictionary from my hands and replaced it with a larger book.
"Start with the basics," he said. When I opened the book, my jaw dropped. It was the Korean alphabet!
"Oh, come on, I already know some of these."
"Some? Then you should know all of these," he said, placing the book on the table. I cursed inwardly.
"Now I understand why Dom said you’re a terrible teacher," I grumbled, starting to read. As usual, he didn’t respond.
"How did you get a girlfriend when you’re this quiet?" I muttered while reading. "Huh?" I glared at him.
"It’s none of your business."
I rolled my eyes. "I heard you’re a player. How come Shelly doesn’t get jealous?" I teased without looking at him.
"Those are just rumors."
I laughed softly and continued reading. I glanced at Jay, who was now looking at his phone. Without his glasses, I realized how handsome he was. His mullet haircut suited him. No wonder many girls liked him.
Besides being handsome, he was good at biking and wasn’t very talkative. Some girls might prefer a quiet guy as a boyfriend, thinking there’s less chance he’d cheat because he’s so reserved.
My heart almost stopped when he looked up, and our eyes met.
"If you keep staring at me, you should just go home."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Is this how you treat girls? So rude," I muttered. "I was just about to ask you something about what I’m reading, but never mind."
He cleared his throat. "Show me. Where are you having trouble?" He must have heard my muttering.
"Forget it. I just remembered the internet exists. I’ll search for the meaning," I said, grabbing my phone.
He was silent for a moment.
"That’s a consonant. It refers to a double s," he suddenly said. My eyes widened when I realized how close our faces were. He had leaned in to look at the book. I could literally feel my heart racing. I was still distracted by how close our faces were to each other, so I didn't even notice what I had searched on my phone.
"Too late, I already looked it up," I whispered.
"You shouldn’t use your phone while studying."
"Well, genius, if you were a better teacher, I wouldn’t need to."
I continued reading, trying to push away my distraction. I couldn't help but feel Jay's gaze on me, and the thought of our eyes meeting again made me too embarrassed to look up. Is this what it's like when you like someone? I sighed and tried to focus on what I was reading.
As I went through the Korean alphabet, it felt more familiar, like I was revisiting what I had studied before deciding to come to Korea. It refreshed my memory. Maybe the reason I struggled with Korean history was that I had forgotten the correct way to read their language.
"Vinny..." My forehead creased at the name. "You know him? You’re friends with the Sabbath?" Jay suddenly asked.
And now I was doomed.
"No, I'm not, especially Vinny. He hates me."
He paused, clearly puzzled. "But he said you’re his friend."
"No, he’s just bluffing," I said with irritation.
"They are dangerous. You should stay away from them."
Well, it's too late. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't just walk away now. Wooin helped with my parents' debt. I can't just abandon him. Even though I'm confused about why he did it, I still choose to serve them.
"Are you saying your friend is dangerous?" I asked seriously.
Jay didn't respond, his expression unreadable. I know he is old friends with Vinny. So why would he warned me from him?
I sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. "Look, I know it's risky, but I owe them. Wooin helped my family when no one else could. I can't just turn my back on that."
Jay's eyes flickered with something I couldn't quite identify—concern, maybe? But he remained silent, his gaze steady on mine.
Finally, Jay spoke, his voice softer. "Just be careful."
I nodded, appreciating his concern. "Worried for me? Aw," I teased. "I didn't expect you to have this side to you." I continued to tease, but he remained serious, shaking his head. I couldn't help but laugh, knowing he was probably feeling embarrassed by my comments.
Actually, studying with Jay isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I expected him to give me a hard time, but it seems like it's just his personality to be reserved. I suddenly paused. What if he isn't really like this, especially with Shelly?
Oh, come on, Demitra. Why should I care about that? I frowned, feeling irritated with myself.
I was jolted from my thoughts by a knock on the door. Jay stood up to answer it, and I almost froze when I saw a middle-aged woman. From her appearance, she looked like Jay's mother! I quickly stood up and bowed.
"Good evening, Ma'am," I greeted her. She gave me a cold look. Now it made sense why Jay always had that cold expression on his face. He inherited it from his mom.
"You didn't eat dinner again?" she said sternly. I looked at Jay, confused, but his face remained emotionless.
"We're studying," he replied shortly.
"You didn't eat breakfast, and I know you didn't eat lunch at school either," his mother said angrily, but she paused when she noticed me.
"Let's talk in the living room."
"I'm fine. Just leave," Jay said.
"Jaehyun," his mother said firmly, leaving Jay with no choice but to get up. I was left alone in his room.
My heart pounded with worry about what I had witnessed. Was Jay going to be scolded? Was it because of me that he hadn't eaten dinner? I hadn't eaten dinner either. Damn, maybe it's my fault he missed his meal. His mother should be scolding me, not him!
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thingswhatareawesome · 8 months
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Sad things that are technically very minor in the scheme of things but nontheless ruin your day all the same.
I spent the last eight hours typing away at a big long post about my blorbo whom I very rarely have the energy or guts to gush about.
I love my blorbo and very much wanted to maybe, just maybe, write something that might cause people who have not thought as obsessively as I have about this character to maybe appreciate their struggles, realize where they might have been unfair to this character and others like them in the past and maybe, in a teeny tiny way help people writing fanfic about my blorbo to actually write them as a character rather than a (cute) set piece that happens to be in their blorbos' lives.
I was under no illusion that my blorbo would become theirs. In all honesty I didn't expect more than like two people to ever actually read it and good odds those two people would still disregard it completely because there are very legit reasons for people to find my blorbo obnoxious or annoying.
BUT STILL.
That doesn't mean I expected some program (that's apparently reset its automated schedule to mid afternoon instead of the 4am I had it) to close all my internet pages as I was still writing them!
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So yeah. I'm just gonna go mope and look at silly memes for a while until I can stop feeling grief over losing my character gushing and I hope anyone potentially reading this is having a much better day.
#sadness over a comparatively minor thing but I needed to vent#the blorbo in question was Morgana from Persona 5 btw#He's a jerk who the game/my people pleasing main character makes into my jailer but I adore him#I wish people would think more about what kinds of struggles he must have navigating a human centric world#while trapped in a form that he doesn't identify as his own and leads everyone into treating him as non human#which yeah he's physically nonhuman and it can't be helped that people not in the know can't hear him talk or realize he's a person#but like#He's a person and its kind of screwed up that the fandom only ever remembers him to rag on or diss his 'insecurity' arc#which is more accurately his 'realizing he has an entire support network to lose and not knowing how to handle' arc#combined with his longer ongoing 'all I have is my identity as me and if I'm not human what is that even worth?' arc#which is different to Teddie's (my fav P4 character) in a few key areas#such as Teddie putting most of the issue on his nature of being nonhuman#whereas Morgana is more terrified of having who he is ignored in favor of the casual callousness of others#and being helpless to actually effect anything in the real world due to being to everyone but MAYBE the PT a cat#(all that said I agree with the general consensus the pre Okumura arc was handled poorly and Ryuji deserved an apology too)#but still#he's a people#If he can get a human form without it being the result of something bad he's totally valid in that#and he still deserves to be treated as a person even if he can't#all of which is more a fandom problem than a PT problem#but just saying#Futaba sweet amazing gift to the world that you are#if I was Morgana and you smooshed my face without warning like you do his#you would probably end up bleeding#(and as a result I would probably end up being thrown out and left to starve or get put down in a pound or something because cat body)#but anyway#first time using a gif#is it alright to just search here and use the ones that pop up or is a bit research first advised?#strangely enough ranting in the tags has made me feel a lot better even if I am still a bit sad#oh neat you can move tags up and down in the order when editing that's neat
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flanaganfilm · 1 year
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The Midnight Club - Season Two
I'm very disappointed that Netflix has decided not to pursue a second season of THE MIDNIGHT CLUB.
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My biggest disappointment is that we left so many story threads open, holding them back for the hypothetical second season, which is always a gamble.
So I'm writing this blog as our official second season, so you can know what might have been, learn the fates of your favorite characters, and know the answers to those dangling story threads from the first season.
So for those of you who want to know what we were planning to do, here's a look at what would have been season 2!
AMESH Season 2 would open with Amesh, his glioblastoma advancing quickly. He would tell the first story of the season, but would be struggling to make it through. We'd focus on his love story with Natsuki for those first few episodes as it becomes clear that Amesh's death is imminent.
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Meanwhile, Ilonka is trying to reconcile how she was fooled by Julia Jayne, all while falling further in love with Kevin, and she realizes he may be fading faster than he lets on.
Ilonka begins a serialized story in an effort to encourage him to "stay alive a little longer," like he did in season one. And the story she tells is... REMEMBER ME.
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This was the thing I was most excited about for this season.
REMEMBER ME is one of my all-time favorite Pike books - it tells the story of a teenage girl who is pushed off a balcony, and awakens as a ghost. She has to navigate being a spirit while trying to solve her own murder. We would have stretched this story out over 5 episodes. We were going to use it as a vehicle for Ilonka to try to come to terms with the fact that she is going to die, and to begin to trying to wrap her head around being a ghost... but this is the coolest part... the lead character of Ilonka's story wouldn't be played by Ilonka. She'd be played by...
Anya.
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Because this is how we live on, isn't it? In the minds of those we leave behind. And Ilonka would use REMEMBER ME as a way to imagine her dear friend Anya, waking up as a ghost, navigating the afterlife. And this sets up one of the best mechanisms of the show - even if a character dies, as long as they're remembered by members of the club, they live on in their stories.
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As the story starts to pick up steam, though, the group will have to deal with the death of Amesh, which he greets with grace and bravery.
In his final moments, he sees someone in his room - the Janitor from the first season, as played by Robert Longstreet, who says comforting things to Amesh even though he can't respond.
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In his final, final moments, the SHADOW descends upon Amesh, and he is engulfed into it, which reinforces the idea that the Shadow is DEATH...
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With Amesh's death comes something that upends the entire thing: a NEW PATIENT. We didn't work out too much about who this would be, but it would be a new roommate for Ilonka. Someone taking Anya's old bed. Ilonka would find herself being initially cold to her - just as Anya was when Ilonka arrived. Even feeling like this new girl shouldn't necessarily be ushered into the Club. But of course they would develop a beautiful friendship over the course of the season. The new girl joins the club, where something else exciting is happening - Cheri is telling a story. We hadn't decided which one, but I think it might have been MONSTER.
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Natsuki would be the next to die, which would be heartbreaking. And again, she would talk to the janitor just before it happened... and again, the Shadow would come in the final moments.
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For Spence, though, things would take a different turn.
The advancements in HIV treatment in the late 90's would come into play, and we'd see his prognosis change. The HIV cocktail came out in Dec 1995, and we really wanted to explore that.
Spence would ride the swell of antiviral advancements, and by the end of the season, he'd no longer be classified as terminal. In the finale of season 2, Spence would leave Brightcliffe just like Sandra did in Season 1, heading off to manage his disease and live the rest of his life.
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But onto the BIG MYSTERIES of the season one... here are some answers: What is up with Dr. Stanton's tattoo and bald head? Well, a few things. First, Dr. Stanton is actually the daughter of the original Paragon cult leader, Aceso. Her nickname was Athena, she wrote the Paragon journal that Ilonka found in S1. She turned on her mother and helped the kids escape, but because she was part of the cult in her teenage years, she had the tattoo.
It was her initials that Ilonka found carved into the tree in season 1 (her maiden name was Georgina Ballard, hence the G.B. that Ilonka finds carved in the tree).
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She hated what her mother became, and the atrocities of the cult. She reclaimed the property after her mom was gone, and wanted to change it into a place that celebrated life. She was trying to undo her mother's legacy and leave something behind that was beautiful. She is wearing a wig at the end of S1 not because of a sinister reason, but because she is undergoing chemo. Dr. Stanton has cancer. Having helped so many people deal with disease, she now has to deal with it herself.
Her treatment would be successful, and she'd go into remission, but having to face that - while caring for the terminal kids at Brightcliffe - was going to be a very introspective arc for Stanton.
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What about the Living Shadow? It's Death, right? Well... no.
At the end of the season, Kevin will die... followed shortly by Ilonka. And as she is dying, two things will happen. First, she'll find herself talking to the Janitor, played by Robert Longstreet... and she'll make a discovery.
HE is Death. And nothing to be afraid of. It turns out no one else ever saw this character. Stanton has a cleaning service, and the Nurse practitioners make up the rooms - the only people who ever saw this mysterious Janitor were the patients. He is Death, and offers them kind words before they die. Then what was the Shadow?
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This is an idea we take directly from the book REMEMBER ME, and we'll see it play out in the final moments of Ilona's final tale. In Pike's book, Shari is pursued by a dark entity called The Shadow. When it finally catches her, though, it turns out it is not a bad thing at all.
The Shadow is THEMSELVES. It's the Unknown. As it engulfs someone, in the last moment of their life, it takes them through a place of understanding and catharsis, preparing them for the next step.
THIS is what happened to Anya in S1 when the Shadow finally reached her - that's why she fantasized a life beyond Brightcliffe, which ultimately let her find acceptance of her death. It looks different for everybody, depending on their mind-set - because it is simply an extension of themselves.
The Shadow is just the final catharsis, a return to our original form - it is a moment of true understanding, and once we experience it, we move on to the next place.
We see the Shadow in full effect when it finally comes for Kevin. KEVIN DIES with Ilonka at his side, and it leads to the biggest reveal of the season:
Who were the Mirror Man and the Cataract Woman?
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They were Stanley Oscar Freelan and his wife, who built Brightcliffe (fun trivia, he is named after the real-life Freelan Oscar Stanley, who built my favorite hotel in America - the Stanley Hotel. The Stanley is also the inspiration for THE SHINING!).
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But more than that... there's a reason that Ilonka only sees Stanley in the mirror, and sees the Cataract Woman whenever she looked at Kevin. This is something else we took from Pike's original book... these aren't ghosts, but glimpses of PAST LIVES.
Ilonka WAS Stanley Oscar Freelan, and Kevin WAS his wife. They've lived many lives this way, and are true SOUL MATES - they always find each other, and they always fall in love. In this life, they knew it would be a short one, so they agreed to find each other in the house they built. They've been "remembering" who they are, and glimpsing their former selves in reflections, and sometimes when they look at each other. This is also why Ilonka's very first words to Kevin in S1 were "Do I know you?" and why Kevin thought she was familiar as well. They are two souls who always find each other, again and again.
The story is this: Stanley was dying, and built this cliffside home hoping that the seaside air would help him. It did, and he far outlived his prognosis (this is also true of the real-life Freelan Stanley). However, his wife began to succumb to dementia.
She would wander the halls, looking for him ("Darling!") and would even forget to feed herself ("I'm starving...") and she eventually refused to leave the basement. Heartbroken for her, Stanley painted the walls to resemble the woodland view, and the ceiling to resemble the night sky, so that it would be a little more beautiful for her.
He also painted a labyrinth on the floor, which was a technique used to try to curb the effects of dementia. She'd walk the pattern of the maze and it was believed it could help her cognition. Eventually, she developed frightening cataracts, but Stanley loved her through it all.
They were soul mates.
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So while they seemed scary in season 1, that was just how Ilonka and Kevin's mind were trying to remember their pasts. We even had their faces distorting in ways consistent with how memories degrade over time. When the Shadow comes for Ilonka, and gives her this understanding - this "remembering" - she realizes she has nothing to fear. She and Kevin will shed these personas and be reborn, and have the joy of finding each other another way. The Shadow comes for her, Death takes her gently, and Ilonka goes off with Kevin back into the cosmos, ready for their next incarnation. The series would end with Cheri telling this story to a whole new table of patients, including our new series leads. Most of our original cast now would exist as stories, a story told to the next "class" of storytellers at the table, all of whom we will have met by the end of the season. A story called "The Midnight Club."
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Well, that's it... that was what we had in mind. It's a shame we won't get to make it, but it would be a bigger shame if you guys simply had to live with the unanswered questions and the cliffhanger ending. I loved making this show, and I am so proud of the cast and crew. Particularly our cast, who attacked this story with incredible spirit and bravery each and every day.
But for now, we'll put the fire out, and leave the library dark and quiet. To those before, and to those after. To us now, and to those beyond.
Seen or unseen, here but not here.
I'll always be grateful that I got to be part of this Club.
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nutmeggery · 9 months
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I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.
When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.
But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)
I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...
See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.
I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.
While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?
Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.
It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.
And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.
It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.
And by a few minutes I meant a few days.
More than a few, actually.
I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.
But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.
Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.
Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).
And I'm having a wonderful time.
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slasher-male-wife · 9 months
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Horror characters with an s/o who's love language is biting
So I'm sorry for barely posting anything in forever I've just been in a bit of a funk for awhile. Anyway @k1nn1e-0n-ma1n was super insistent I write this so shout out to him and his Bo Sinclair brain rot. This also was slightly inspired by @osirisisv RZ Michael Myers drawing.
Includes: Bo Sinclair, RZ Michael Myers, Otis Driftwood, and Doomhead
Warnings: Violence kind of, Bo and Otis being a perverts kind of
Bo Sinclair
Lester was a biter as a child and Bo has a very high pain tolerance so you biting him doesn't hurt it just surprises him. He honestly didn't know what you did until he looked over and saw you biting his hand.
"The fuck are ya doin'?" He'll ask verbatim. He's not mad, he's just confused as to why at 5:47 on a Tuesday during him watching reruns of some 80's show you decided to bite him.
When you say it's a love language he immediately thinks it's a sex thing. You will quickly shut that down and he'll get a little less excited.
"I still don't understand why ya did that darlin." He'll say before pulling you either on top of him or underneath him and just holding you so you can't bite him again.
On occasion he'll let you bite him again, but if you do it when he doesn't want you too he'll storm off to wherever and ignore you until you make it up to him.
RZ Michael Myers
He has a very high pain tolerance but when he feels you biting him he'll immediately push you off of him or put you in a headlock. He won't let you out either unless you beg him.
He is very confused as to why you bit him, because to his understanding you're not supposed to hurt the people you love.
He's going to probably disappear for a few days to think this over, and because he doesn't want you to bite him again for a little bit. But he'll come back more understanding.
You can bite him, but only when he's prepared and you're willing to 'play fight' because let's be honest, play fighting with Michael is basically him thinking he's playing and you fighting for you life. Could put you in head lock again.
He honestly might just roll up his sleeve and indirectly ask you to bite him. But this will happen after a lot of talking about how biting him means you're not trying to hurt him you just love him.
Otis Driftwood
"Did you just fucking bite me?" He asks you. And honestly no matter where you bite him it's a bad idea because he would taste like cigarettes, blood, and dirt.
Will be mad until you explain you do it because you love him and he'll laugh. Will also think it's a sex thing but you quickly shut that down. He's a little disappointed but doesn't mind too awfully much.
He doesn't mind as long as you give him a proper warning before you do it. If you catch him off guard he'll honestly pull his arm or whatever part of him you bit and leave you alone for a few hours at the least
Because he's a little freak he'll ask you to try and bite him harder than you normally do it to see how much pain he can handle. You can probably draw blood before he tells you to stop.
Overtime he learns to love it and honestly doesn't mind too much anymore. If a victim tries to or actually bites him he'll laugh and tell you about it later. "Don't worry honey, they weren't as good as you."
Doomhead
He’s not exactly lucid all the time so he might not realize you’re biting him at first. When he does realize it he pulls his hand away and laughs about it. "Do I taste good to you or something sweetheart?"
Will tease you about it non-stop. Brings it up all the time even if there's nothing to do with it currently. He'll have a hard time understanding that you're doing it "out of love".
He might honestly buy you a dog chew toy as a joke if you bite him often enough. Or like one of those baby teething toys. He will laugh so hard about it, especially if you get embarrassed about it.
That's not to say he doesn't like when you bite him. He can find the repetitive feeling calming and it honestly might make him feel more lucid at times. But he'd never ask you to do it. He might gives you hints though
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h4ndwr1tten · 11 months
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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?
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characters — nanami kento x reader
note — this took me a long ass time to write. if it seems familiar to any other works, i requested something with the same plot on someone else's blog lololol. THIS IS PART 1 AS IT'S A LITTLE LENGTHY!!! dividers by benkeibear.
(am i posting this on nanami's birthday? yes.)
cw — not proof read, established relationship, kinda ooc nanami? like one mention of sex, pregnancy, strong language, arguing, crying, accusations of cheating, hurt/no comfort.
synopsis — the test results are positive and you aren't ready. when you try to hide this from your boyfriend of 5 years, he assumes the worst.
part 1 | part 2
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this wasn't supposed to happen. it shouldn't have happened. you both took every precaution possible to prevent an outcome neither of you were prepared for — from condoms, to birth control, to plan b. it had kept you safe for as long as you started having sex. you never found yourself worried about carrying a life in you for 9 months.
so why now does the test read positive?
it felt like the world stopped moving. you didn't even know if you were still breathing. your heart had fallen into the pit of your stomach, your eyes wide and full of disbelief. you couldn't believe it. it couldn't have been correct. the 99% accurate claim on the kit had to be lying. there was no way it could've been true.
it took some time, but you were able to tear your gaze away from the test. you looked up to the ceiling, blinking away the hot tears you could feel building up. you took a few deep breaths and tried to swallow down the lump in your throat, your fingers trembling around the test.
you've thought about having kids before. you did want them, just not now. you were unprepared for this. how do you raise a kid when you aren't ready, when you aren't even married?
then it hit you — nanami's involved in this too.
the realization made you feel 10x worse. if you weren't ready for a child, you could only imagine how he would feel about this. his life was going so well right now. he was happy with his career and his salary, he was content with the apartment you both shared, and he was even more happy to be with you. he had his whole life and future planned out. he knew when he would retire and even what he'll do in life after he retires. nanami saw you in his future, you were always there when he would think of it. but would you still be there if he found out you were currently pregnant with his child?
you two had never fully talked about having kids together. you both were confident that you would spend the rest of your lives together. you've discussed marriage, homes, and briefly, kids. it was never a deep conversation — you only ever talked about having them and how many there would be. but never about having them earlier than expected.
gosh, you felt like shit. utter, absolute shit. you felt even worse for nanami. you felt like you were going to ruin his life plans. you felt like this would be the downfall of your relationship. and if it was, who knew if you would ever recover.
your phone buzzed with a notification, pulling you back to reality. you didn't realize tears had fallen until one slipped from your chin and landed on the hand gripping the test. you stood from where you sat on the closed toilet and checked your phone. it was a text from nanami.
i'll be home soon, my love. do you want me to bring anything home?
he was so caring. always considering you, always putting you first. you couldn't help but feel even more guilty.
hi ken. could you get some takeout pls? i'm sorry, i'm not in the mood to be cooking rn.
of course. want anything specific? are you feeling alright?
i'm fine. you can choose tonight :)
alright then. i'll be home soon, i love you ❤️
i love you too 💕
you shut your phone off and placed it back on the counter, screen facing down. you felt horrible — he was always thinking of your needs before his. would this end now that your carrying his child? certainly he wouldn't want to have to worry about another person in his life at the moment. you wouldn't want him to worry.
you stood from the toilet seat, about to leave the restroom when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. your face was bright pink and red, your eyes also red but not super puffy and swollen. some people might think it was allergies, but not nanami. nanami wasn't some people — he knew you better than anyone, perhaps even yourself. he could see right through you, read you like a book. you began to worry what he would say if the pigment in your face didn't fade in time, if he would ask if you had been crying.
what would you say if he did ask? he knows you so well, it's nearly impossible to lie to the man. you could say you were rewatching your favorite show and got emotional, or reading another chapter or more of the book he bought you the other day. but nanami isn't dumb. he would catch on before you could even finish your excuse, he'd know something's up.
you sighed, inhaling and exhaling deeply. you didn't know how this was going to play out. you didn't know how to act or what to say to nanami when he came home. you were just hoping for the best.
the lock on the door clicked once, twice, and then the door opened. you had been in your shared bedroom, watching some corny rom-com to ease your mind. you had hidden any evidence of the pregnancy test. you threw away the box and instructions, then threw out the trash bag you tossed them in. you kept the test, however, and hid it in your purse that was now laying on your bed. nanami wasn't one to snoop. if he wanted to check something of yours, he would ask permission. and if you didn't grant it, he would respect your boundaries like he always does.
"my love?" you heard nanami's voice echo throughout the apartment. normally, you would've been waiting by the door for him and greeted him excitedly, but for obvious reasons, you weren't.
leaving the bedroom and walking to nanami, who was walking in the hallway and you assumed he was looking for you, you gave him a small smile.
"hi ken," you said quietly, wrapping your arms around his waist instead of his neck where you usually do. you stood up on your toes to reach his lips, kissing them gently and not for long. when you pulled back, nanami leaned down for another, a longer one. were you ever going to get these kisses again if he found out you were carrying his child?
for real this time, you both pulled away. you still smiled softly up at nanami, but he was observing you closely, worry swimming in his honey brown eyes.
three things were running through his mind right now: why were your cheeks and eyes tinted a bright red, as if you had been crying? why didn't you seem as eager to see him after work like usual, wrap your arms over his shoulders and around his neck, and kiss him for more than a second? something was wrong. did he do something? did you know what food he bought and were you not pleased by it? were you feeling sick?
"ken?" you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. "are you alright?"
"are you alright?" he returned, worry still plastered throughout his face.
you then looked confused, though you weren't, slowly nodding your head, "yeah... why?"
nanami stayed quiet for a second. maybe you were just tired, maybe he was overthinking this. but that idea didn't sit right with him. it was like his gut was telling him that something was up with you. but he didn't know what.
not wanting to push you, he answered, "nothing. i missed you though. let's go eat?"
throughout dinner, nanami noticed how quiet you were. if it were any other day, you would have been telling him about your day, the latest gossip, about the episode you watched or the chapter you read. you were barely even touching your food too. you occasionally took small bites, but most of the time, you were just poking it with your fork.
while he was putting the dishes away, you grabbed yourself a glass of water. that's when nanami asked you, "love, are you sure you're alright?"
"yeah, i'm fine. why do you ask that?" you replied unsurely, looking down at your water.
"i'm sorry. you just seem... off." nanami washed his hands, looking you up and down carefully.
that was another strange thing he noticed. you hadn't looked in his eyes when you told him you were fine. you always make eye contact with him. you're never afraid to and you're not one to break it so quickly, much less avoid it.
he was beginning to question whether you were really fine.
you had just finished getting ready for bed, teeth and hair brushed, skin care routine done. nanami had finished getting ready before you, so he was waiting for you by the bed. but instead of reading a book or even scrolling through his phone, his eyes were glued to you in worry. you could tell he was becoming suspicious of you, and you wished you hadn't made your troubles so obvious. your head was beginning to ache and you were desperately hoping that nanami wouldn't ask any questions.
those hopes were left unsatisfied.
"my love, are you sure you're okay?" nanami asked for what felt like the hundredth time today.
you sighed deeply. "yes, kento, i'm fine," emphasizing the fine. "my head just hurts right now. have you seen the tylenol?" you added, hoping that it would be enough to stop his questioning.
"no, do you want me to check your bag?"
you felt stupid for having kept an small extra bottle of tylenol in your bag. nanami reached over to your side of the bed, grabbing your purse. he had pulled the zipper open when you realized what was about to happen.
"no!" you yelped, practically sprinting to the bed and snatching the bag away from him. you checked to see if the bag had been open enough to see the test, which it hadn't, and some relief washed over you. but then you realized how much worse you had made your current situation with nanami.
fuck. i fucked up. i'm fucked.
nanami's brows were furrowed together, his face painted with a mix of frustration, confusion, and concern. he looked you up and down over and over again, gaze switching from you to your bag repeatedly.
"okay, y/n, seriously. what the hell is going on with you? first, i come home and you don't seem as excited as you tend to be. then your face is all red like you had been crying. then you—you barely talk to me, hell, even look at me throughout dinner! you touched your food like, what, 5 times? and then when i try to look through your bag to help you, you panic and snatch it away from me?"
kento's ramble had you silent. you didn't know how what to say, what stupid excuse you could use, how to explain your behavior. you only avoided his gaze and stared down at your bag. the thick, suffocating silence lasted for a moment longer, then nanami finally spoke again.
"y/n, are you..."
he paused and took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself for what he was about to say.
"are you cheating on me, y/n...?"
you were dumbfounded. in absolute, utter shock. how could nanami, the person who you believed to have the most trust in you, think that you would be unfaithful to him? yes, you realized how skeptical your behavior was. but for him to come to the assumption that you'd cheat on him? it stung a little—a lot, actually.
"what? no... no, of course not, kento! how could you say that?" you retorted, finally looking him in the eyes.
"gee, i don't know, maybe 'cause you can barely even look at me and you're very obviously hiding something!" his voice raising more with each word spoken.
you had no argument to counter what he had just laid out to you because he was right. you couldn't look at him for more than 5 seconds and you were hiding something. you eyed the floor beneath you, opening and shutting your mouth as you tried to think of something to say. nothing ever came out though.
a heavy sigh cut through your thoughts. you looked up from the floor and saw nanami shaking his head, running his hand down his face. he was so disappointed, you could feel his hurt radiating off of him.
"i'm going to sleep," he muttered, reaching for the lamp and dimming it. lying down, nanami shuffled into a more comfortable position, facing away from your side of the bed, and pulling the covers up to his shoulders.
"ken—"
"night, y/n."
you didn't know what you were going to say anyways. tears slid down your cheeks and the least you could do for nanami was keep quiet and let him rest. you realized that you wanted to apologize. apologize for the way you had been behaving towards him this entire evening, for making him doubt your faithfulness to him.
you slid into bed next to him, facing away from him as well. your body shook with the sobs you fought hard to keep in, nose stuffy and pillow quickly becoming soaked. you thought that the positive pregnancy test would have been the downfall of this relationship—now you wonder, will this argument turn these past 5 years into a mere memory?
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m. list
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psuedofolio · 7 months
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Last week on my character a day thread was more "Magical Girl SCP" characters and I'm realizing I didn't share the pictures from the last time I brought out the psudo scp universe characters so here they are. I'll make the whole story someday. Lore/flavor text is as follows: 1: Fairbanks would often have to insist Isabelle stop skipping her small arms training. She rarely said it, but she was very fond of the junior researcher. And she knew just how unsafe the SAFE Research Department could be.
2: Fairbanks' Notes on the Vampire, "Drymouth."
After 21 days without feeding, she will enter a state of altered consciousness and will speak true prophecies. The Board believes it is worth the ethical costs of starving her. I believe she uses her prophecies to guide us to our destruction.
3: Partial Transcript: Tattoo Parlor, 3:25 PM
Subject X66: "I'm still kinda nervous about the pain, ya know. I'm sure you get that a lot."
Witness: "I... what is... Is that a body mod?"
Subject X66: "What are you talking about?"
Witness: "Holy fuck it moved!"
4: Codename Sunshine is the first entity to take a role in DIR Fairbank's "Special Taskforce." Though the Director believes she is wholly reliable and a potential asset for our field agents, many are skeptical. Her ability to "transmute light into burning liquid" is quote: "Scary AF."
5: Agent Nathan Collier returned to work with REDACTED three months after the incident with Valeria's escape. His personal heroism in subduing the entity aside, it was decided he was unfit for field work. Instead he was reassigned to the SAFE Department on so called "babysitting duty."
6: Ben died a few years ago in an unrelated accident, but ever since then what appears to be his "ghost" continues to check the halls for anomalous readings. Once we calibrated his scanner to account for his own emanations, he returned to being a valued member of *redacted*
7: What limited things we do know is REDACTED's body is made of particles which "absorb" em waves of all kinds, from light to radio. Though REDACTED manages to bypass nearly every security measure we have, they have no connections or intentions that qualify as a threat.
8: Contrary to popular belief, Franklin is NOT an anomalous entity. He is merely a holdover from REDACTED before it became REDACTED. His "good humor and fatherly advice" has often made agents question his true nature. And security monitors him as agents often confide secrets with him.
(ooc note, it was about an hour after drawing this that I realized I basically just drew Clint McElroy)
9: Frm: Dir Fairbanks The girl in our care is not to be referred to as "anomaly" or "spider thing" or by her case number. She has come to us willingly. Her name is Penelope, and but for her anomalous mutations is a normal child. We will provide her normalcy. That is an order.
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jellyclogs · 9 months
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how op men react to you calling them darling prt.2
characters: Zoro, Sabo, Sanji, Marco, Buggy
y/n has she/her pronouns
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Zoro:
“Excuse me?” Zoro laughed.
Your face was suddenly on fire. You hadn't meant to call him darling. You had meant to just ask, “Have you eaten.” you repeated. He looked way too much like the leading man in the romance novel you were reading. It wasn't your fault you called him darling it was the dam books.
“You're missing a part,” Zoro smirked, he was enjoying how flustered you were, it was pretty dang cute.
“Did you eat or not?” you huffed crossing your arms.
“Yeah I did,” he shot you a teasing look, “Darling.”
You thought your face was on fire before… well now it really had to be. You turned and rushed away from him. You might burst into flames from the intensity of your embarrassment. You were going to burn that novel.
“Something wrong darling?” he called after you in a laugh.
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Sabo
“Hay Darling could you pass me those papers,” you called to the blond as he was passing your desk painting to a stack of paper across the room from you. You were so engrossed in your work that you hadn't even realized what you'd said.
Sabo froze, a smile coming to dance across his lips, “No problem sweetheart,” he said without skipping a beat. He grabbed the stack of paper before setting them on your desk.
You glanced up at him a puzzled look on your face, “Sweetheart?” you hummed, “What with the pet name Sabo?” you quirked a brow
Sabo’s smile grew, “You're the one who started it.” he wished he could snap a picture of the look you had on your face, it was priceless.
You tilted your head to the side. It took an almost embarrassingly long time for you to relize what you had said to him.  You bit your lip before smiling, “I guess your right darling. I did start this,” you purred.
Sabo's face flushed, “Don't use that voice on me, sweetheart,” he leaned down resting his hands on your desk, “and don't start a game you can't win.” his voice had dropped an octave, it was now low and sultry.
“I'm not sure what game you're referring to darling,” you leaned forward laying on the seductive tone even harder, “But if I did I'm sure I'd win.”
Sobo leaned even closer, his eyes were very intense, “Come on sweetheart, you know you'd lose.”
Before the game you two were playing cold get out of hand Kola stepped in. She slapped the back of both of your heads hissing, “Oh cut it out both of you.” she shook her head, a small smile on her lips.
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Sanji:
You smiled to yourself as you baked. You were in the process of making marbled brownies. You made a dark chocolate batter followed by a pumpkin batter before swirling them together. You popped your creation into the oven before beginning to clean up your mess. It was currently 1:30 a.m., so you knew you had plenty of time to leave it spotless. Sanji would not wake up till 5 am
 You knew that using the kitchen without Sanji's approval could be a dangerous game but you just had to. You would ask Sanji to forgive you later. There was no way you could ask him to use the kitchen not when you were trying to surprise him. You were making him a birthday treat.
You spent the 40 minutes it took for the brownies to bake to clean the kitchen till the floor sparkled. You pulled the pan of brownies out of the oven, they were perfectly baked nice crunchy corners and an ooey gooey center. You were no professional but you could bake like one.
You set the brownies on the counter along with a box of expensive black tea you bought him from a few islands ago. You spent the next ten minutes debating whether or not you'd leave a note. Finally, you gave in to yourself and left a note.  “Happy birthday darling,” you wrote out in your nicest handwriting before singing it in the bottom right corner.
Glancing at the clock you read the time was 2:25 am. You skittered out of the kitchen and headed to bead. You sent a silent prayer to whatever god was listening Luffy wouldn't get hungry for a snack before Sanji woke up.
######
Sanji got out of bed at Five a.m. sharp. It may have been his birthday but he would not skip out on his job. He was the ship's cook and he'd be damned if he didn't cook them a proper breakfast. His birthday would be mad special when he saw the look of delight on Nami’s, Robins's, and (y/n)’s faces when they ate the breakfast he made.
He pulled on clean clothes before heading to the kitchen. He needed a cup of nice strong black tea to wake him up. He almost slipped into his normal routine till his eyes landed on a pan on the counter. He rushed over to it wondering which member of the crew had left him a dirty dish to deal with.
He stopped in front of the pan when he saw it was full, someone had made brownies he felt confused. He then noticed the box of tea next to it. The tea looked expensive. He picked it up and read over the container. He realized it was a tea that he'd put back after he realized he didn't have the budget for it a few islands ago. His eyes finally landed on the little slip of paper resting on the top of the brownies. 
“Happy Birthday Darling” he read glancing down to the signature. He felt his heart raced as he read (y/n)’s name. When had she had the time to make this? He looked around the kitchen trying to find evidence of her baking but it was spotless. 
He hugged the note to his chest, feeling tears in his eyes. He hadn't expected much for his birthday. This was so much more than what he expected. He decided to not start his prep for breakfast yet. He brewed himself a cup of his new tea, cut himself a brownie, lit a cigarette, and sat down. He could take a bit of time to appreciate the gift.
######
You were pulled out of bed by Nami at  7 a.m. You were honestly in no mood to be awake, that was until you remembered that it was Sanji’s birthday. You got up stretching and yawning.
You and Nami walked to the kitchen together. You couldn't wait to see how Sanji had reacted to your little surprise. Before you entered the kitchen you whispered into Nami’s ear, “Don't forget to tell Sanji happy birthday.”
 She rolled her eyes at you… hard.
Then the two of you walked in. “Good morning Sanji.” You smiled at him.
Sanj slowly and deliberately walked across the kitchen to stand in front of you. He stared into your eyes for a long moment before hugging you. “Thank you, princess,” he whispered kissing your forehead and walking away, A trickle of blood running from his nose.
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Marco:
You were sick, you had a fever, your nose was running and you had the chills. You stumbled from the room you shared with Marco to the infirmary. You knew he had to be there since he wasn't in the room with you. You always got needy when you were sick.
You made it there to see Marco working on paperwork. He was slumped over at his desk working like there was no tomorrow. You knew his work was important but at the moment you couldn't care less about it. You just wanted your lover to come cuddle with you and make you feel a little better.
“Darling,” you whimpered as you made it to his desk, “Will you come cuddle with me?” you sounded absolutely pathetic. If your voice alone had not convinced him to come to bed with you then the way you looked forced his hand. You had a pout on your face the comforter of your shared bed wrapped around you. 
Marco looked up from the paperwork he was working on, “You really shouldn't be out of bed.” he said a smile on his lips as he shook his head.
“I don't wanna be alone. Darling, please come to bed with me.” The pout on your face mixed with the flush of fever made you look more than cute.
Marco laughed, you only ever called him darling when you wanted him to do something for you. He wanted to pretend like it wasn’t an effective strategy but couldn't. Whenever you called him darling he was putty in your hands, “OK my little bird I'll come back to bed with you.” he sighed.
Your pout turned into a smile as you heard his words, “Thank you.” Even with your slightly scratchy voice, Marco found your voice soothing.
Marco stood up from his desk and walked over to you. He easily swept you off of your feet, carrying you bridal style, “Let's get you back to bed before you share this cold with someone.” he had no worries about getting sick himself, ever since he ate the phoenix phoenix fruit he was immune to most colds and illnesses.
“If you leave me there I'm gonna follow you.” You leaned into his chest closing your eyes already feeling sleepy.
Marco just shook his head. He knew for a fact you weren't joking. He sighed, for the sake of the crew he’d better stay with you. He tried to be upset about having to stay in bed with you but he couldn't manage it.
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Buggy
You laid in bed next to Buggy. Your lover had his back to you as he slept You had had a nightmare and couldn't get yourself to fall asleep. You didn't want to wake him up, but you really wanted him to hold you. You didn't need to talk about the nightmare you just needed to be in his arms. You hesitantly reached a handout and shook his shoulder, “Please wake up darling.” you whispered.
Buggy was usually a heavy sleeper but the fear in your voice made him instantly roll over. With sleep still fogging his senses he asked, “What’s the matter, honey?” he looked at you with tired but concerned eyes.
“I'm sorry to wake you but would you please just hold me?” you asked in a soft and apologetic voice.
Buggy studied your face for a long moment before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. It didn't take a genius to tell you were upset. The look you had on your face was heartbreaking, “Don't be,” he mumbled, “Do you want to tell me what's wrong now or in the morning.” his voice sounded grumpy but you could tell he truly did want to make you feel better.
“In the morning darling,” you close your eyes already feeling like you could sleep again, “please just go back to sleep.” You kissed his cheek.
He grunted in response holding you tighter. He would sleep now, but in the morning he'd find out what had upset you. You were his flashy little partner and he would not neglect you. It did not take him long to fall back to sleep.
The sound of his heart and the feeling of his chest rising and falling quickly calmed you down. You found it much easier to sleep. You found yourself falling back to sleep rather quickly.
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brainlessrot · 1 year
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Can I request a head-canon about the housewardens with an reader that bites people out of love?
I do that a love (it's automatic by this point) and the reactions are so funny loll
(also if this goes against the character count you can remove whoever you want! I just got kinda confused if I'm allowed to ask about the housewardens or just 5 characters)
HIII!! i just re-read the character limit on my request rules and i realized how confusing it may be, so i changed it, and yes!! i do "character bundles" (groups that kinda go together, like first years, housewardens... ) up to 7!! so ill do all of them, thank you for requesting <3!!!!
floyd version!!
vicehousewardens + silver (tba!)
Contents ;; Biting as an act of love, sfw but kind of suggestive, specially on leonas (sorry grandpa's senile) , gn!reader, your teeth leave marks, not beta read!
Characters ;; Housewardens, Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus
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Riddle ;;
Yelps, screams, howls
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT
may collar you out of instinct sorry :'(
overall he himself is not really happy with it but will let it pass if you explain that you do it out of love
(he will blush and after that he stops complaining and letting it happen)
once he is kinda used to it hell just groan and softly push the palm of his hand against your head to make you let go
if your teeth leave marks he WILL keep you collared and not allow you to come near him until the mark dissappears
will wipe off the saliva off bc he thinks its kinda unsanitary
If you bite him sneakily (like how a cat may nuzzle your hand before trying to maim you) he will feel lowkey betrayed, but generally wont tell you off unless it actually hurt him
You held his hand, pulling it up to press it up against your cheek, looking into his eyes as your lips left a quick kiss on his palm, his own face flushing a rich red. Your lips pulled at the corners in a smile he knew too well, but he wasn't quick enough to retract his arm from your hold before your teeth sunk into his hand. It was a soft bite, not too hard. He sighed, pulling his hand away and looking at you with a dissapointed-- but flustered-- face.
continues under cut.
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Leona ;;
WILL bite back
it is either a threat, a promise, or a show of love, only he knows, and seven, he will not tell you
if you nibble gently on him he will ask you if that's all youve got and bite down on your shoulder so hard you're sure he tried to eat you alive (he didn't even put enough pressure to leave a bruise, but it sure did feel like it)
sorry but you have no chance of out-biting him, the moment you bit him for the first time you opened a door that could never be closed
whenever you are in bitting distance you HAVE to keep an eye out for his maw and any suspicious movement bc he WILL lounge and bite you whenever he can
the consequences of your own choices
if you leave marks he... he will be flaunting them, cheeky bastard, and be prepared, for what comes, goes, and you may find yourself some sharp canines indented on your skin
His arm was around your shoulder, his forearm near to your face. He wasn't paying attention to anything in particular, dozing off but still awake, eyes threatening to close the sooner he gets close to falling asleep. You lean into his arm, thinking for a few second before deciding that, since he was not aware of his surroundings, this was your time to bite him without him biting back. And so you did, gently biting on the exposed skin of his arm. You heard a chuckle, warm breath tickling your cheek as sharp teeth bit into it. "Did you think I would not reciprocate, herbivore?"
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Azul ;;
hes both hard and soft when you bite into him??? like octopuses dont have bones and are squishy but that also means he is pure muscle.... so when you bite him he is soft but then he involuntarily flexes and now it feels like youre biting brick
he is generally very easy to fluster because hes not very used to affection (not coming from his mother or step-father)
depending on where you bite he will yelp or giggle bc he is quite ticklish
doesn't hate it but doesn't necessarily love it either, just understands that that is how you show your love for him (and appreciates it) but would rather you don't do it in public or he WILL die.
if your teeth leave marks hes going to die, crawling back into his tiny octopot and not leaving until the teeth-shaped bruise dissappears
You leaned against his body, eyes roaming around his desk as he filed some documents. Not that you were paying attention to what he was writting, instead resting your chin on his shoulder and looking at him from the corner of your eye. You opened your mouth slightly, moving slowly to not alert him of your plans. With your mouth closing on his shoulder, he yelped, his pen rolling out of his hand and clanking against the floor. He looked frantically at you, eyes wide and face flushed.
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Kalim ;;
giggly as hell ‼️
if you clamp down on him a little harder than your regular nibbling he will literally bust out laughing he is EXTREMELY ticklish
may also nibble gently you back, but is hesitant to bite too hard, he doesn't want to hurt you :((
please PLEASE dont leave marks on him jamil will literally have a panic attack, dont do it for his own sanity
his favorite place to bite you back is your cheek, he loves grabbing it with his teeth and pulling softly, the way you laugh when he does so leaves butterflies on his stomach
Your hands held his as he excitedly spoke, telling you all about what he did for the day. It was a nice, domestic activitie. He would tell you about how his day went and you'd listen, every once in a while quipping in with a word or two, or a funny sentence in response. As he finalized his story, you raised his hands, leaving a kiss against his knuckles, before gently bitting the side of his hand, he giggled, gently pulling your own and doing the same as you did.
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Vil ;;
sorry but he does NOT appreciate it all
he might.... buy you a chewtoy
do NOT dare put your "slobby maw" (his words not mine) near him, his clothes or any of his things
if he ever gives you permission to bite him and you accidentally leave teeth marks on him he is filing a restraining order against you (/hj)
REFUSES to leave his room until the mark disappears, that is an unbefitting appearance for Vil Schoenheit
however if you mainly just nibble softly he may (AND ONLY MAY) let you chew on his arm (where it will definetly be hidden under his long sleeves) but please do not bite him without asking because he will have a breakdown
he doesn't care about your reasoning behind biting him, he goes "i refuse☝️"
He saw you fussing around, clenching your jaw and pressing your lips together. Feeling the way he viewed you from the corners of his eyes, you tried to stay still as to not be make it obvious that you were trying to contain your urges of sinking your teeth into the soft and tender flesh of his, since you knew he wasn't rather fond of it. His own lips were pursed as he turned to face you, quickly pushing his arm out and pulling the long sleeves of his clothes back, presenting his arm to you.
"Do not bite hard."
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Idia
"WHAT THE FU-" he is falling on his ass crawling on the floor and wriggling like a worm
at least give him a warning before you try to kill him mate
his first instinct is to bite back but he has to restrain himself because he knows how sharp his teeth are (and he may know from personal experience that using those to bite you dont fare well, ortho had to clean up your arm while idia was sobbing and begging for forgiveness last time he did)
he doesn't really mind after you tell him your reasoning but PLEAAASEEE give him a heads up before you even come close to him
his skin is super thin and sensible so he bruises easily please do be careful bc any mark will make him faint (and will give him another excuse to not go outside)
You asked him what he was playing, putting your arms around his shoulders as you leaned, looking at the small screen of his hand held console, some unknown game playing on it. The only thing that came out of his mouth was a mumble, his eyes trained on the device intently. You saw the way his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, no sound coming out, before he leaned against your arm, his sharp teeth scraping against your arm. A giggle escaped your mouth as you leaned forward, biting gently on his shoulder as a response.
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Malleus
"child of man why are you trying to eat me"
please give him a break he doesn't understand what you are doing or why you are doing it
if you explain to him that some humans do that as an act of love he has the smuggest look on his face as he tries to cover his mouth so that you dont see his lil smile
goes "i see..." with the silliest grin EVER
lets you bite him whenever you want and ENCOURAGES you to do so
is hesitant to bite you back (even if you ask him) bc he thinks human skin is too brittle for his fae teeth
bites you so gently you think he just kissed your arm
if you leave marks be prepared to be hunted down by sebek
(and interrogated by lilia)
idk why but now i kinda wanna chew on his horns...
The both of you sat outside, the night breeze making you huddle closer to his body, warmth emanating from him. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, before extending his arm and pointing towards a small light in the sky, a star. His lips moved as he spoke, telling you it's name and to which constellation it belonged to. Your cheek brushed against his arm, your impulse winning against your better judgement as your head turned to the side, your teeth biting into him. He chuckled, looking you with fondness in his eyes, already accostumed to your weird human activities.
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linghxr · 4 months
Text
Advice I would give my past self about studying Chinese
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Recently I've been reflecting on my Chinese learning journey and how far I've come. If I could go back in time, these are 10 things I would tell my past self. A few are specific to Chinese, but most can apply to any language
It will get so much easier to learn new characters. I remember feeling overwhelmed because learning new characters was a painful process. Now when I encounter a new character, I can remember it with relative ease—it’s just a new combination of familiar components.
Don't feel bad about having uneven development in different skills. My listening and reading are significantly stronger than my speaking and writing. It’s super common and nothing to be ashamed of.
The best way to get over being too embarrassed to speak is to experience some embarrassment and realize it’s not a big deal. I used to be so afraid of making mistakes that I would avoid speaking in class. It was only by being forced to speak that I got over it. I'm much better for it!
It’s impossible to learn everything, and time is limited. You have to prioritize. You probably don’t need to know how to say “pawnshop” in Chinese, and trying to jam your head full of 100 words you saw once won’t work. They won’t stick.
It will actually be harder to read pinyin than to read characters at some point. When I helped a friend with a script for her Chinese class, I really struggled because she had written it entirely in pinyin. I had to write out the characters to read without stumbling! I know characters are daunting for beginners, but trust me, you will get used to them.
If you haven’t practiced or learned something, of course you won’t be good at it. I remember feeling so frustrated trying to navigate Chinese websites for the first time. In retrospect, obviously, I was going to struggle with something completely new to me!
If something isn’t sticking, move on. Why waste time on a word that’s not clicking when you could be learning five new ones? It will only result in unnecessary frustration. So unless you need to know it for your class or a proficiency test, drop it and move on.
Don’t beat yourself up when you have trouble understanding music, literature, different accents, etc. These can be challenging even in your native language. Of course you’re going to struggle more in a new language.
It's worth it to pay attention to things like stroke order and tones from the start so you don't form bad habits. Don’t stress about get it perfect, but it’s easier to do it right the first time than to have to correct your bad habits in the future.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all that you don’t know, learn how to express yourself with what you do know. It’s truly its own skill that requires practice. After all, in life you can’t always stop and pull out a dictionary.
I started learning Chinese a really long time ago, but I became more serious about it in 2018, so 5 1/2 years ago. I'm very proud of how far I've come, but I still have a long way to go! I look forward to revisiting this post in another couple of years 😊
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woniverse-writes · 7 months
Text
"Moth to a Flame (part 6)"
Bada Lee x Reader
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part 5 ⟵ part 6 ⟶ part 7
series masterlist
summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.
word count: 12k
warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of depression anxiety disorder, mentions of medication, not proofread, nothing i write is a reflection of anyone's true character and is a work of total fiction
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It had been almost a week since the interim mission check. Almost a week since 1 million was estimated to place first. A week since Jam Republic began preparing themselves for elimination. A week since Bada and Y/n fought… a week since the two had last spoken.
After the screaming match between the two girls and y/n making her exit with a slam of team Bebe's dressing room door, the younger headed to her own dressing room bawling her eyes out. Her teammates didn't immediately question anything as she stormed in and began to aggressively pack up the few things she had brought back for the day. Audrey made her way over to place a gentle hand on her shoulder
"y/n-" but was immediately swatted away by the still-crying girl. y/n immediately turned around with regret written all over her face
"I'm so sorry- I didn't- I didn't mean to push you away" she sobbed with wide eyes, shaking her head, trying to convince her friend that she didn't mean it, but Audrey already knew that. Audrey knew Y/n.
"hey, hey! It's okay, I know you didn't mean to…" she comforted the girl, bringing her into a hug. This time the younger girl let her friend wrap her in a warm hug. She buried her face in Audrey's chest and bawled her eyes out until she felt too tired to carry on.
"Is something else bothering you lovey?" Kirsten asked gently from somewhere in the corner. Y/n looked up slightly confused, which is when she realized they had no idea what just happened. She began to cry all over again, this time just weeping exhaustedly. I don't even think you could call it crying- more so just her looking sad as tears freely ran down her face. It took her a few minutes before she could even begin to explain, but when she did it wasn’t any easier.
“I got into an argument with Bada… well- it was actually a really bad fight, and- and I totally fucked everything up” Poor girl could barely finish her sentence, as she hiccuped her way through it before she started sobbing and heaving again. Everyone in the room shared looks of shock and confusion, all rushing closer to comfort their youngest. Audrey already had her hand rubbing circles softly on Y/n’s back while Emma sat on the other side rubbing her shoulder, and the oldest three kneeled/sat in front of her.
“I’m so sorry my sweet girl… do you wanna tell us about it?” Kirsten being the wonderful leader and friend she is, did not hesitate one second before openly trying to comfort y/n. The youngest sniffled and hiccuped a bit more while trying to nod.
“Y-yeah, just give me a-a few minutes, p-please” y/n shakily pleaded as her sobs picked back up. After about ten minutes of crying, she was pretty sure there was nothing left in her. Latrice had gotten up to get her water a few minutes ago and now was forcing her to drink it seeing as y/n had been able to calm down.
“Take your time baby, you don’t have to tell us everything- you don’t even have to tell us anything if you don’t want to!” Ling reassured her little bestie and made sure y/n still remembered how safe she was with Jam Republic.
“No, it’s okay- I want you guys to know… I just- I don’t even know where to start or how to retell this…or if I even have the energy to do so right now…” the youngest countered, wanting just to tell her members what happened and get it out of the way so she could begin suppressing it, but her eyes began to droop and her voice got soft, both being immediate signs of her exhaustion. And on any other day, or in any other situation her members would find it quite endearing, but they can’t help but feel crushed at the sight.
“Why don’t we finish packing- after the flight, you’ll have rested a bit, and if you’re feeling up to once we’ve landed you can explain the whole situation to us then. If not, that’s okay too.” Latrice gently spoke up, reminding everyone that they had a flight to leave for in just under an hour and a half. Y/n sniffled and nodded, slowly standing up. Everyone immediately backed away slightly to give her enough space, then watched as she lifelessly moved around the space, finishing packing her things. It sincerely shocked them to see her this way, thinking it was already pretty bad how she was acting before they showed up- and that was when they WEREN’T paying attention to her. Y/n was never good at hiding her feelings unless it was when she was dancing or performing- when she was putting on a show- so to see her so sluggish and empty really scared the five other members of Jam Republic.
“This is going to be a long, hard fucking week…” Emma noted, the others either nodding or tiredly humming in agreement.
________________
“Do you wanna talk about any of it?” Lusher tried her best not to pry- not that she would've had to pry much anyway since she heard the whole thing- but she wanted to hear how Bada was feeling with the aftermath. The leader just sighed deeply once again with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over as she laid her head in her hands.
Bada felt nauseous. She felt dizzy, like the room was spinning and her ears were ringing. To be completely honest, there was a possibility she would pass out at any moment. None of what had just happened in the last- what? 20 minutes? Was it longer than that? Hell, was it shorter? Bada really had no clue, but none of what had happened in that time felt real to her.
“I don’t know Lusher…” the leader finally mumbled, still hunched over. It was quiet and meek, sounding exhausted. The sub-leader glanced around at her teammates whose faces were all some sort of variation of fear or anxiety, She sighed and crossed her arms before speaking up again
“Well, then how about we get some rest? Maybe afterward you’ll want to talk about it, or maybe you won’t- either way, we’ll be here…” She firmly stated, knowing how tired everyone was and how sleep easily played a role in how well they felt. The leader took a huge breath, her members watching had her shoulders rose and fell. Bada stood up with her head still hanging low. The other girls moved out of the way and watched as the oldest started groggily packing up her things and sat back down on the couch with an empty look when she finished.
“I’m ready when you guys are.”
____________
The first day back in New Zealand was just another segment added to the nightmare that Jam Republic has been living in these last few days. Y/n slept the whole plane ride but woke up with a very minor fever and headache. She just chalked it up to crying so much and getting so world up.
“I promise it’s fine Kirsten, I'm probably just dehydrated-” 
“Which still isn’t good! Even if that’s the case, it’s not something to treat lightly, y/n. And since I know you’re lying it’s even more serious to me… I need you to try your best to take care of yourself right now love, we need you.” she dragged the youngest over to some airport market and grabbed two waters and a bottle of juice. Kirsten glanced over her shoulder and saw eyeing up some snacks, but didn’t end up grabbing them. When the younger walked away to look at something else, the leader moved to grab whatever she was looking at. The bright colorful packaging with cute designs made her smile. It was obviously a very y/n-like treat- some sort of sweet gummies with a sour sugar coating. She grabbed two of them and got a savory snack as well, knowing how stubborn her youngest is and how hard on herself she can get.
When all of their luggage had been picked up, all six members of Jam Republic headed back to their hotel. y/n lay with her head against the cool glass of the window, not quite asleep but definitely not mentally present. Everyone was already worried from what had happened the previous day, but it seemed like something different was the issue now. Y/n didn’t only seem depressed anymore- she seemed physically ill.
By the time they arrived at their place, Emma was the first to offer y/n help, which she obviously declined. Yet Emma still took her heavier bags, and y/n didn’t even have the energy to complain. The older carried them up for her as she dragged behind the rest of the group. Audrey, noticing how out of it her best friend was, circled back around to meet y/n in the back of the clump
“You not feeling too good, bunny?” the slightly older brunette questioned with eyes full of concern, and a mouth of whatever candy bar she was munching on. Y/n actually felt herself smile a bit at how endearing her friend was. still, she sighed and nodded, which of course Audrey didn’t believe.
“I really don’t get why you feel like you have to lie about it…” the elder mumbled, kicking a rock while they walked. Great, now I made Audrey upset. y/n frowned and sighed deeply
“It’s just easier to deal with it by myself… it’s exhausting having to explain why I feel the way I do, especially when I don’t even understand it half the time… I wanna tell you guys, I promise I do, but it would drag the team down so much, Audrey…”
“Why do you say that? Because we’d have to take time to discuss what’s wrong? Because we’d have to stop working and focus on you for a second?”
“No Audrey it’s not-”
“Oh so then it’s because we care about you and we’d do anything for you in a heartbeat and you don’t wanna accept that you have people that sincerely love you? You don’t wanna accept that you really are a loveable amazing person who doesn’t deserve to be talked to or treated like that?” Audrey pointed off somewhere in the direction they had just come from, seething as she finished. this was the first time y/n had ever seen the girl as angry as she was, but she couldn’t help but feel confused
“How… how do you know what she said?” y/n tilted her head and awaited her friend’s response with said eyes. Audrey hesitated for a second, feeling like she’d said too much, but sighed and began speaking again
“Lusher told Latrice… well- Latrice and me. I still want to hear everything from you though- I want to know how you’re processing all this and how it felt for you because while she seemed neutral, there could just as easily be things Lusher left out in favor of Bada.” she quickly explained, hoping she hadn’t betrayed the other girl’s trust by getting the story from someone else first.
“Lusher didn’t seem… mad? Wait- how does she know? Did Bada really tell them everything already? I mean I guess that makes sense since-” her mumbled external pondering was cut off
“They heard everything…” the older of the two once again spoke hesitantly, unsure of how the other would react. y/n just glanced over, slightly dazed
“Huh?” Audrey let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, then continued explaining.
“Lusher said their entire team was just around the corner while you guys were arguing, and they could hear everything…” she trailed off at the end, cringing slightly at how bad the entire situation was. Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, feeling another wave of headaches coming
“Great, now all of team Bebe hates me…”
“You don’t know that!” Audrey was simply trying to be her optimistic self, and she couldn’t help but giggle when the slightest bit of normal y/n showed through the depression when she gave her older friend an over-exaggerated deadpan look. The two finally reached their shared room and began unpacking the few things they had. After doing so, the girls all quickly washed up and got changed, then headed to practice.
Practice had gone well for the most part- the first half was reworking practically everything and adding more to make the choreography stand out more. The second half was just drilling everything until it was muscle memory, or at least close to it. Everyone could tell y/n wasn’t feeling well. It didn’t show in her dance, but definitely on her face as she looked miserable every time they finished.
“Why don’t you take a break hon-” Emma tried convincing her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, to which y/n loosely pushed it away
“Em, I’m fine” she whined and moaned, tired of having everyone baby her for the day. The older stood there for a moment before sighing and shaking her head, then walking off. The rest of the practice went the same, and everyone finished wrapping things up around 12:45 am. 
Later that evening (or morning rather) after practice had ended and all of Jam Republic had returned to their hotel, y/n started throwing up and her fever increased severely, ending her up in the ER at 2 am with Kirsten and Ling, the others being told to stay back and get some rest.
“After running some tests and talking with her, it just seems like a stress fever, which thankfully means there’s nothing physically wrong- well besides some dehydration, but we have her on an IV for right now- However, whatever is causing the girl so much stress should probably be taken out of her life immediately…” the doctor sternly informed the two oldest members of Jam Republic. They both just looked at each other, not really knowing what to do, seeing as their poor baby’s stress was unavoidable right now unless she were to completely drop from the challenge, and maybe even the entire competition as a whole.
“We’re actually a part of a competition right now… we want her to rest but- we need her to be able to compete with us. Is there anything we can do to speed up the recovery?” Ling spoke before her friend could, the desperate tone already taking over her voice. The doctor sighs and takes off his glasses.
“We could try putting her on an anti-anxiety medication to see if that helps… but it really would be the most ideal to let her rest as much as possible in a low-stress environment.”
“A low-stress environment isn’t really possible right now. And- she’s actually already on something for anxiety and depression, would she even be allowed to do that?” at Kirsten’s question the doctor looks slightly confused
“Has she not been taking the medication recently? Because when we ran the tests to see if there was something in her system, we found no traces of drugs, alcohol, or any substances…” The two dancers once again looked at each other, having a silent conversation.
“Would we be able to see her?” the leader asks softly, to which the doctor nods and leads them to y/n’s room. He opens the door and they find her lying there staring off into space, barely awake.
“Hey honey… is it alright if we come in?” Kirsten asked as softly as she could while still wanting the girl to hear her. Y/n nodded wordlessly and closed her eyes. The two oldest Jam Republic members came and sat near her hospital bed and after a few minutes of conversation with the doctor, it was just the three of them in the room. 
“Sweetheart…” the leader brushed some hair out of y/n’s face and watched as her eyes fluttered open
“Did you hear any of that?” She finished and furrowed her brows, unsure of how aware of her surroundings the younger was. Y/n shook her head and matched Kirsten’s expression
“They’re gonna keep you here overnight to make sure you get enough hydration before going back, okay?” She kept brushing away stray hairs and petting them down softly against y/n’s head, lulling her to sleep. There was a slight nod of understanding. Kirsten stood up and y/n quickly (as quickly as she could) reached out to grab her hand
“Please stay… at least one of you… can at least one of you please stay with me” the youngest pleaded in a pitiful whisper that made the older two’s hearts break all over again. This girl really was going to be the death of them all
“Of course honey, we’ll both stay” Ling reaches for her other hand pressing a motherly kiss to the back of it 
“I’m sorry… for slowing down the process and now dragging you guys into it… you should be getting good rest right now… not here with me… and here I am being selfish by asking you to stay… shocker…” It seemed like y/n was just mumbling whatever was coming to mind, yet tears were once again freely slipping down. Her eyes closed and wet eyelashes fluttered softly against her cheeks as she drifted off. The two sat there in slight shock, a bit taken aback by what she’d said. Both had wanted to say something and let her know how wrong she was- how while yes they should’ve been resting, it was more important to them that she was okay. After a few minutes of silence, Ling spoke up
“Why didn’t you tell her she can’t practice?”
“Because now is not the time to send her into a nervous breakdown… she’s barely even conscious, it’d probably give her a heart attack if I told her she wasn’t allowed to practice” the leader stressed and hung her head for a moment.
“We’re gonna have to ask her about her medication in the morning…” she sighed rubbing her forehead, causing Ling the groan softly so as not to disrupt the sleeping girl a few inches away
The next day Kirsten woke up first and told a half-asleep Ling she was going to grab breakfast for them. When she returned, it seemed the older had been awake for a bit and that y/n had just been waking up. The leader sat in the chair next to the hospital bed and handed everyone their food. y/n thanked her teammate quietly and they all began eating. After a few brief moments of silence and soft chewing, Kirsten spoke up
“So there are a few things we need to talk about…” she mentioned seriously, glancing up at y/n who was staring intensely at her food, but had stopped chewing for the moment.
“...like what?” the younger questioned and went back to cutting up her food to eat more.
“Like why you haven’t been telling us things… we need to know when you aren’t feeling well y/n or else we can’t help you-” Kirsten explained in a worried motherly tone but was quickly cut off 
“I don’t want you to have to help me-” the bedridden girl argued tiredly and sighed. There wasn’t any anger and she didn’t raise her voice in the slightest. She was just exhausted. 
“I should be able to take care of myself on my own. I’m an adult… i should start acting like one” y/n spoke everything loud and clear until the last phrase. She had mumbled the statement to herself, sinking back into her pillows and wallowing in pity again, but Ling and Kirsten both heard the self-deprecating callout. Every second that passed, the two eldest grew more and more worried about their youngest’s wellbeing 
“The doctors said they didn’t didn’t find any traces of anything in your system, which is good, but that also included your meds… did you forget to take them yesterday?” Ling questioned softly rubbing the back of the girl’s hand. Y/n once again goes completely silent, and avoids eye contact with an extremely guilty expression, which has both older members raising an eyebrow.
“Y/n… what’s up?” Kirsten pushed for a response, causing the younger dancer to sigh
“I haven’t been taking them regularly…” Y/n mumbled, fiddling with the blanket that laid over her lap, still avoiding eye contact.
“You haven’t been taking your meds???” “Y/n are you fucking kidding me? Since when?” both members started began outwardly stressing
“...since the second week of filming-”
“THAT WAS THREE AND A HALF MONTHS AGO-”
“Lingy, let’s not yell at her… I’m sure she had a reason…” Kirsten put a hand on her shoulder and the oldest sighed, they both turned expectantly to y/n, who felt immensely small in front of them for the first time in her entirety of knowing the two dancers.
“...they were making me tired” The youngest curled into her and cringed at the excuse, especially after seeing both women’s faces drop into disbelief.
“Are you serious right now?” Ling questioned with a deadpan expression her arms crossed. Y/n bit her lip and continued to play with her fingers.
“y/n…” Kirsten sighed as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose
“I started that new medication and it made it impossible for me to do anything! I was barely making it through those battles and the only thing keeping me going was the excitement and adrenaline-” The youngest tried to defend her reasoning but what cut off
“So you thought it was better to just take nothing? Why didn’t you say something to someone, or even just call your doctor and ask to go back-” This was the first time Kirsten even slightly raised her voice at y/n, and it wasn’t even at that point, but the small girl could feel the disappointment radiating off of her team leader, and she felt everything come crashing again.
“Because I didn’t want to go back to the other medication, it did nothing for me- I wouldn’t have switched in the first place if it worked!” she could feel herself getting worked up again, tears somehow still being able to form. She sighed and laid back in the hospital bed, actually crying this time instead of having tears judge freely fall down her face as she stared blankly.
“I know I shouldn’t have stopped taking them… but I just couldn’t do it. I thought I was doing fine…” y/n mumbled, wiping away tears and sniffling, feeling exhausted again.
“Y/n…” Kirsten started after taking a deep breath and hearing the younger girl’s hum of recognition 
“You can’t practice.”
“What…” barely came out as a whisper 
“You’re too stressed out right now, and your immune system is down… you aren’t eating or sleeping properly and you’re overworking yourself. You are literally killing yourself slowly… and for what? A stupid competition? Some girl?” she tried to keep her tone level and calm, but Kirsten couldn’t help the rise at the mention of the other team leader, hating her in that brief moment for being one of the reasons her poor baby was feeling this way
“If it’s so stupid Kirsten, then why are we here?” Y/n could feel herself getting frustrated again. This was exactly why no one took her seriously, because her team didn’t even take her seriously, or at least that’s what she thought. Kirsten let out what felt like the twelve hundredth sigh within the last 24 hours.
“They’re discharging you in about 20 minutes… you’re allowed to come to practice but it’s recommended that you don’t… the doctors said it’s best to keep you out of high-stress environments right now-“ 
“Yeah well, do they even know what’s going on?” so many things were happening in the moment. Y/n felt like she was going to combust and throw up and pass out all at once. She’d never spoken to Kirsten like this- fuck she’d never felt frustrated with Kirsten like this. 
“Yes y/n, we told them, and they still think it’s best for you to rest… at least for a little while” The leader’s tone was back to gentle, but it sounded just as tired as the younger girl’s. Y/n didn’t say anything as she sat in disbelief. The three sat in silence for the next few minutes until it was time for y/n to be discharged. She signed off on some documents and then the three were off. They decided to head back to the hotel first before meeting the others at the studio, wanting to change and all that since they’d all spent the night at the hospital in their pajamas. 
Y/n decided to stay back and get some more rest, finally giving in to her exhaustion. While they were glad she was taking their advice, Ling and Kirsten once again couldn’t help but feel their hearts hurt for their youngest members. It was always hard seeing each other go through tough times, but it usually never lasted this long or became this severe. It felt like there was nothing they could do to help her.
The youngest jam republic dancer napped and rested for about five hours after she had made her return to their hotel. After waking up she showered and got dressed and decided to head down to the studio. When y/n arrived she waved and greeted everyone politely with a gentle smile, shocking everyone at her appearance.
“I thought you weren’t coming today- you said you were gonna rest.” Kirsten separated herself from the group after telling them to keep practicing
“I did rest- but I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing… even if I don’t feel well I should still come and watch to make sure I’m not missing anything” y/n defended her case to the best of her ability, but Kirsten was always right
“No, if you don’t feel well you need to be resting and taking care of your body AND your brain” the leader retorted, teasingly poking the younger girl’s forehead at the end of her sentence to make a point. Y/n cracked the tiniest smile and even though it was barely there Kirsten was proud of herself for at least being able to do that much.
Y/n sat at the front and watched the practice for the remainder of the time, taking notes on everything she saw whether it be strengths or weaknesses, new ideas, or things she felt needed to be changed entirely. The girl was surprisingly calm and didn’t feel any stress while she was observing. That’s pretty much how the rest of that week’s practices went for Y/n until the last three days before filming. She had been begging Kirsten to allow her to get back to dancing and the leader actually almost caved a few times, desperate to perfect the routine, but still stayed strong and insisted she rested.
____________
It had been a week since the two had spoken. By now all the choreography was finished being created, taught, and perfected. The videos were all shot and edited and it was finally the day where all seven teams would present their work to everyone else and the judges. The day when another two crews would be put up for elimination, and once would go home. 
Everyone entered the arena one by one, each team taking their designated seat. It was always mindlessly interesting in these situations, where they’d all gather to watch something but not dance because the fashion choices were truly a show of each dancer’s honest character. Y/n looked as elegant as usual with her red, black, and ivory ensemble. She was doing surprisingly well at the moment, having more of an icy glare rather than the empty eyes of depression that had taken over her the last week or so. 
Y/n was doing surprisingly well until she wasn't. Jam Republic is seated by the time team Bebe passes by. y/n feels her heart rate pick up as they approach, all of them glancing at her, some glaring, but their leader acted as if she didn't even see the girl and walked right past them with an icy stare.
“Oh, now that’s just fucking mean” Ling scoffed and stared down the team as they took their seats. Everyone was obviously feeling on edge and very nervous about the results, but y/n still looked quite ill. She had recovered for the most part, but she suddenly felt like throwing up again at the interaction with Bebe. She's still so distraught from the fight with Bada a couple of days before, and now the youngest dancer is scared shitless that both of their teams are going to be up for elimination. As much as she wants to avoid the older girl right now, y/n wouldn't be able to live with herself if Bebe got sent home today…
y/n took a sharp breath, biting her lip trying to push back the sudden sting of tears already feeling the anxiety begin to gnaw away at her. Lusher noticed this right as the team took their seats and spoke over her shoulder to their leader. 
"you can't keep ignoring her…" the younger prompted after seeing the way Bada pretended y/n didn't exist when they passed by
"excuse me? Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?" the leader coldly responded, eyeing the girl up and down. Tatter felt a shiver run down her spine at the interaction, already worried about the integrity of her team considering the rest of their practice time felt like a waste as well. She just sighed and tilted her head out of stress.
After the fight between Bada and Y/n happened, and they both went their separate ways alongside their teams, team Bebe began to fall apart. Bada read through the countless criticisms their routine had gotten and didn’t even know where to start. The stress was eating her alive and she tried her best not to let it show. Normally when things got bad, the Bebe leader would talk about it with Y/n, but that obviously wasn’t a possibility right now, which made everything so much worse. 
Practices became unbearable due to how irritable the leader had become, often losing patience easily when things didn’t work out how they were supposed to. Any time they’d go on break Bada would sit and rewatch whatever footage had been taken or reread the notes to see what was going wrong. The other six Bebe members sat off to the side getting water, all observing their oldest with immense concern. She still hadn’t opened up about the situation to them, honestly feeling too embarrassed, even though she knew they heard the entire thing. The guilt of it all was eating away at Bada and she didn’t want to admit that.
“She’s gonna have to share the burden with us at some point” Lusher sighed and pushed herself up off the floor, sauntering over to their crew leader and popping a squat next to her
“You haven’t had any water today…” the sub-leader observed while glancing at the taller girl
“You’re seriously keeping track of whether I do or don’t drink water?” it was supposed to come out in a joking manner, but Bada was serious, the sentence coming out flat and irritated. She didn’t look up from the sheets of paper she was looking over when she responded as well, completely focused on fixing the issue that she couldn’t seem to understand.
“Yeah I am- because you’ve stopped taking care of yourself and you won’t let anyone help you” Lusher snapped back, causing Bada to finally look up and meet her harsh gaze. The younger dancer’s arms were crossed and her brows were furrowed, making her look more like a pouty child than an angry adult, but still Bada could feel the frustration radiating off of her. She sighed and stood up, tall stature looming over Lusher for a second before she stood as well.
“Talk to me… this isn’t gonna work if you take everything on yourself” the shorter once again encouraged her teammate to share her troubles. Bada sighed and the two stared at each other for a moment before Lusher turned her head slightly to call out for Tatter. The blonde came bounding over with a somewhat nervous look on her face
“What’s up?” she asked
“You think you’d be able to run things by yourself for a bit?” Lusher questioned in return, causing Bada to cock her head a little, not entirely fond of the idea. But the way the youngest director confidently responds makes her feel a little better about it. The other responds with a quick ‘great’ and a smile, before dragging Bada out of the practice room and slightly down the hall to one of the small dancer lounges.
“Alright- let’s hear it.” Lusher claps her hands together as she sits on the couch and crosses one leg over the other. The leader lets out an amused scoff and shakes her head. She sits down on the other side of the couch and leans on the armrest.
“I just feel stressed about the routine… we’re taking a big risk with what we’re doing and I can’t help but wonder if it’s the right approach…” Lusher eyed her suspiciously, not fully believing the leader
“So it has nothing to do with Y/n?” she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, the leader huffing at the question
“Well of course it has plenty to do with Y/n- we didn’t exactly leave off on good terms the last time we talked… it’s just more unnecessary added stress that I need to stop thinking about and move past.” Bada finished her reasoning in a reserved manner, looking away from the girl next to her
“Woah- wait- you think that’s really something you should just ignore??” Lusher was genuinely shocked, not used to her leader being so avoidant. Maybe it was her way of trying to remain relaxed and cool, but the younger dancer could see how terribly the whole situation was affecting her friend, and it definitely wasn’t something to just be left alone.
“Well, I have better things to worry about right now than some childish dancer who clearly can’t control her emotions” the shorter girl scoffed completely unamused 
“This is coming from the person who blew up on her just as easily- come on Bada, you’ve never been a hypocrite so don’t start now” She couldn’t help but laugh a little at how childish the leader was being without even realizing it 
“So you’re taking her side now?” Bada looked pretty offended, telling the other dancer just how serious she was with her question. Lusher sighed deeply
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, but you both were really shitty to each other… neither of you should’ve said the things you said- but by you saying how immature and emotional she is, you’re pretty much saying it all about yourself because you two had the same energy going on…” she tried to explain calmly, which resulted in another immature response from the leader
“I was simply matching her energy-” Bada pouted as she talked, and Lusher usually would’ve found it cute if it were any other situation
“Right, which by your definition was childish and irrational…” the leader scoffed and looked away, playing with her sleeve. There were a few moments of silence 
“You know she’s not doing well either…” the sub-leader spoke up after a while
“Yeah? And how would you know?” the taller girl mumbled, still not looking away from her sleeve, finding the loose string much more interesting than the conversation at this point
“Uhm, I asked her?” she posed it as a question, but it was meant in a sarcastic way, pointing out the obvious answer. Bada quickly snapped her head back up to finally look over at the younger girl
“Oh, so you’ve been talking to Y/n?” Lusher sighed again after seeing her friend’s irritated expression make a return
“Of course I have, she’s our friend- well she’s my friend, I don't know what she is to you” she responded softly and sincerely, yet mumbled the last part, causing the leader to scoff for probably the thirteenth time during this conversation
“C’mon Seoyoung, be serious right now- this isn’t the time for your silly little delusions-” Bada tried to joke slightly and steer her away from the door they were about to open
“No, you be serious Bada. you know damn well she’s more important to you than you’d like to admit. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were practically in love with her.” the older of the two let out a laugh of disbelief at her teammate’s (accurate) accusation
“In love? With y/n? That hilarious Lusher- really funny actually. I’d love to know where your brain comes up with things like that.” her tone was low and sarcastic, becoming mean and condescending, similar to how it was the last time she spoke with Y/n
“Oh don’t fucking talk to me like that- you’re not gonna treat me like I’m an idiot because I know you better than that. Stop putting your insecurities onto the people who care most about you when they’re trying to help Bada” The room went silent and the older stood straight up in her place, eyes softening at the callout. It was strange to hear Lusher talk to her like that, or even hear her talk like that at all. Sure, the girl teased her a lot, but the two had never gotten into a serious back-and-forth argument like this. Bada thought at that moment that maybe she really could be the problem, seeing as how no one else had been getting into screaming matches like she had recently.
“I just don’t understand why she couldn’t just talk to me…” Bada mumbled sadly burying her head in her arms
“Because she was stressed out and hurt… I mean- if my girlfriend voted to eliminate my group, I would be hurt too-” Lusher tried easing the mood with some light teasing
“Seoyoung…” the older girl dramatically glared at her, but both knew the look held no real malice
“Okay my bad- sorry, but you get the point.” she rushed out in turn
“I do, but she said she understood…” the leader once again drifted off, focus going elsewhere
“Okay, and? She can understand your reason and still be upset about it. Especially since there were other things that were probably weighing down on her… you have to remember, we weren’t the only ones who voted to eliminate Jam Republic… EVERYONE voted for them… and since they had already been facing setbacks from the moment they got to New Zealand she was probably struggling a lot-” Lusher tried to help her understand, but Bada wasn’t having it
“yeah, she was struggling but I was too- you didn’t see me taking it out on her did you?” she tried to retort, but was met with Lusher’s immediate response
“but you did take it out on her! Just not immediately…” 
“Lusher you saw everything- you know how hard everything was for me-“ and it was true, lusher did see everything, just like she’s seeing it now. She witnessed one of her best friends completely lose her confidence and doubt all of her abilities while keeping it bottled up. But she was the only one who saw.
“Right, but she didn’t, Bada… How is she supposed to know that if you don’t tell her-”
“She didn’t tell me anything!” it felt like an argument was starting again. The older of the two truly not seeing the whole problem, or at least not recognizing her part in it
“Right, but you pushed her to talk about something she didn’t want to share with you- why? I don’t know- but that’s none of my business! YOU need to figure out what went wrong…” Lusher explained from the objective point of view
“I get that, but how is it fair for her to shut me out and then get bitchy with me, but when I do it in return that’s not okay?”
“Oh my god- Bada, it wasn’t okay for either of you to act that way! But your retaliating after pressuring y/n to talk about something she wasn’t ready to talk about seems like your own fault…you were so fucking mean to her Bada- like- the things you said were awful and absolutely not okay!” The younger of the two allowed her voice to increase, finally getting her point across. Lusher watched as Bada’s face softened again, feeling like she finally got through to her, even just a little bit.
“...I know” The older hung her head and covered her eyes, as Lusher sighed and sat down next to her, leaning her head on Bada’s shoulder.
“I know she treated you badly too, what she said wasn’t okay either- but it wasn’t charged like yours was” Bada scoffed and wiped her tears that she didn’t even realize had fallen
“yeah, and how do you know?” she shifted slightly to glance down at the younger girl, but Lusher just kept staring off into the space ahead of them
“Well- maybe at first it was a little bit… but at some point, she had already given up on fighting and just wanted to get out of there… believe me, Bada, she knows how bad she fucked up too…”
That week had been just as terrible for Team Bebe as it had been for Jam Republic. The last day before filming they ended up making drastic changes to really sell the concept, causing everyone to be exhausted the next day, but luckily they were all able to hold off until after filming had finished.
The team now sat in their designated area, everyone carrying a very negative intimidating intense energy, except Lusher who was just exhausted from still having to play the mediator at this point. After all teams have settled in and the production staff is ready to go, Kang Daniel begins recapping the mission for the audience members and announces the first concept shortly after. Deep n Dap’s video was shown first.
Y/n felt another wave of depression rush over her as she watched the video. It was so well organized and put together, and hearing how loud everyone else was cheering for the green team made her feel nauseous all over again. Yet the young dancer was able to preserve her face and not let her anxiety show, although she didn’t make a single sound or expression for the entire video. Once Deep n Dap’s score was revealed the entire team of Jam Republic began to get nervous seeing how high all three directors had scored.
Shortly after, it was Jam Republic’s turn. Kirsten had been asked about their rehearsal process and was only able to get a few words out before she started tearing up. The leader finally showed her tears, and Y/n hung her head holding her breath knowing she'd cry too if she didn't. When the score for Jam Republic’s leader was shown, y/n felt herself genuinely smile for the first time in three days.
Once the video started and everyone was cheering, y/n felt herself start to lighten up a little- but was also still frustrated at the circumstances- seeing as they all had no faith in Jam Republic and now here they are cheering for them. Witnessing how well the video turned out after all their trials and efforts, and how much everyone loved the individual parts really made Y/n feel so much better. It shocked everyone slightly that y/n wasn't showcased or highlighted at all, but they had no problem pointing her out since she still stood out due to her energy.
“Oh- Y/n didn’t have any highlights?” Redlic commented as the applause died down
“I guess they weren’t able to give her something with all the idea changes…” To be completely honest, Y/n didn’t want a highlight. When the crew began reworking their choreography and it came to the segment that had featured the youngest dancer, Y/n told Latrice to cut it. She was still not allowed to practice at the time and felt it was unfair to the other dancers and her team.
It actually made Bada feel really bad about herself- because, for the first time since meeting the girl, she was glad y/n wasn't in the spotlight. When the leader realized she was thinking this way it made her feel even worse about the situation, knowing how hard this all was on the younger girl, and she did nothing but make that worse for her. She felt conflicted the entire time watching the video- while she was mostly glad she didn’t have to watch Y/n be in the center of attention and was able to avoid accidentally reacting to how pretty she was; Bada was also annoyed that she wasn’t showcasing her talents like she normally did. Knowing how skilled the young dancer was, her presence alone probably would’ve guaranteed Jam Republic a win, so what reason was there for her not to be given her own part?
The other two scores were revealed and the team felt immense pride. However, any relief Y/n was feeling was ripped away just as quickly as it arrived. Daniel announced the 100-point deduction from Kirsten’s score due to them failing to meet the minimum amount of required dancers and y/n felt her stomach drop. The gasp she let out was followed by tears although she managed to push them back- she truly thought she was going to be sick. Y/n had to physically cover her mouth, to avoid letting out a sob or to stop herself from throwing up? She doesn’t even know. This poor girl is literally internally losing her shit and having a mental breakdown over the fact that they could lose to deep n dap.
Moments pass as Daniel re-explains the extra concept points that would be rewarded to the crew that executed the outdoor concept better according to the judges. When it was revealed that Jam Republic won the points Y/n burst into tears and covered her face with both hands as her shoulders shook with sobs. 
“Ahhh the baby” Amy whined in sympathy, pouting along with Redy and Lia
“She must’ve been so stressed” Waackxy pouted as she and her teammates nodded
“DON’T CRYYYYYY” Lusher was the only one from Bebe to shout out to her, the others kind of just side-eyeing her
“What? She still deserves comfort… she’s not a bad person, she just did a not good thing… I wouldn’t even call it a bad thing” The sub-leader sternly eyed up her teammates, then her leader, already tired of how they were acting.
"she cries too much" Bada was mumbling to herself but made sure to say it loud enough for the girl in front of her to hear. Lusher whipped around and pursed her lips, her nostrils flaring as she forced herself to take deep breaths
"For someone who got into an argument over immaturity, you're acting really childish." the younger of the two whispered calmly, but everyone could feel the rage simmering in her. She turned back around and her face immediately reverted back to one of pride for the pink team.
“Y/n, you were extremely ill during the second half of the rehearsal process-” Bada tilted her head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and concern at Daniel’s words. She was sick? Is she okay now?
“How do you feel that impacted your overall performance?” the host questioned after Kirsten and Emma had finished giving their speeches. The youngest member sniffed and wiped her tears as she was handed the microphone, taking a deep breath before speaking
“Well…” she sighed and felt more tears coming
“It was extremely difficult for me personally, obviously… but I couldn’t help but feel like a burden to my team…” the youngest member let out a sob as she tried to finish her sentence. Audrey rubbed her back, comforting her friend.
“So I did my best to attentively take notes and help where I could, while actively reviewing the choreography until I was well enough to perfect it on my own…” Y/n was able to finish more stably after taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down. Daniel nodded and smiled sympathetically before thanking her and moving on.
“Wow… she taught herself everything in her own time and practiced it less than the others… and still looked that good???” NOB cocked her head, genuinely stunned by how dedicated and talented the youngest Jam Republic member was.
After 1 Million and Mannequeen’s videos were both shown and scores were revealed, announcing that 1 Million had taken the win, it was time to move on to the all-gender concept groups. Lady Bounce’s video was shown first, and they scored extremely well, seeing as it was well executed and had a lot of energy. The team had received a generally positive reaction during interim checks and also finished off strong with positive feedback from the judges. Both Bebe's and Y/n’s nerves were beginning to rise.
When it came time for Bebe’s video to play, everyone was interested to see what the team did with the feedback. Since Jam Republic was seemingly able to come back from near-elimination, the other crews were curious to see if Bebe would be able to do the same, or if they would simply take the other team’s place as the least impressive performance.
Right off the bat, Y/n was already distraught. The amount of partner work really threw her for a loop because it wasn’t like that before… and she literally thought she was gonna burst into tears again. She knew it was obviously just acting, but the young dancer still hated it and lowkey felt like it was a punishment, even though it clearly wasn’t. 
The entire time, she watched with a heavy heart. It was so good and she couldn’t even tell anyone how proud she was of them, especially Bada, so Y/n just there and silently let tears roll down her face the whole time. Her eyes were on Bada as soon as it ended. She of course didn’t look her way, but y/n continued to clap as hard as she could, knowing if she were to open her mouth and cheer she’d probably let out a sob
“It was just really good… I’m glad it turned out so well” she said wiping her tears and putting on a very fake smile trying her hardest to look happy and not utterly heartbroken, knowing how the camera picked up every reaction. Audrey once again patted her friend’s back and gave her a sympathetic smile. When Bebe’s score was shown everyone was shocked to see that it was lower than Lady Bounce’s- not by a ton, but still lower. Y/n felt her heart rate start to pick up, getting nervous at the thought of Bebe losing the whole challenge and ending in the elimination battle.
Bada started her speech well but only got about two words in before feeling a surge of emotions. She quickly recognized the hard work of her team and spoke on how she would continue to improve and grow as a director, before affirming it all with a nod and handing the microphone back over. Wolf’Lo’s performance followed, and Y/n wasn’t shocked at all when she continued to be unimpressed by the group’s work. However, despite her exhaustion and anxiety, the youngest Jam Republic member was still able to pull out an expressive reaction to the orange team scoring higher than Bebe.
“That’s fucking ridiculous…” Y/n glared at the screen, unable to hide her distaste. Emma snorted at the girl’s reaction
“Good to see you haven’t lost your judgment” the older girl teasingly smirked at her teammate who just smiled lightly and shook her head. Daniel moves on to announcing which of the three teams received the bonus points for executing their concept the best. Ladybounce took the win and y/n began to panic more seeing that Bebe came in last out of the three. When they showed the current rankings based on judges' scores, she was relieved Jam Republic wasn’t at risk for elimination, seeing Bebe in sixth place had her head spinning. She was really hoping the audience votes would keep her safe and boost Bebe in the ranks as well.
The host began announcing the final ranks for the mission, after adding in audience votes and views. 1 Million placed first, not surprising anyone, since their performance was practically flawless. Jam Republic was called for second place and all six of the members felt the tension leave their bodies, even though their safety was guaranteed by their win. Audrey put her arm around y/n and the girl was able to smile a little bit more at their victory, still not completely present in the moment due to how much of a nervous wreck she was for Bada and her team. Now that Y/n knew she was one hundred percent safe, she should’ve felt relieved, but no such feeling came.
While the other members debated who tied with Mannequeen for third between Ladybounce and Bebe, y/n just continued to lay with her head on Audrey’s shoulder, totally zoned out. Ladybounce won and the youngest jam member tensed up while applauding, not moving from her teammate's shoulder. When Bebe is announced as fifth it takes y/n a second to come out of her daze, and when she does she sits straight up and feels tears sting her eyes again. She’s able to hold them back as she applauds, finally feeling genuine relief knowing that the team is safe.
Bada was handed the mic to give her speech, and much like everyone else who had held the microphone at one point today, she began to tear up. Of course, all the natural stress and anxiety of the challenge and competition as a whole had gotten to her, but everything had hit so much harder since she wasn’t able to share any of it with Y/n. The leader felt tears rush faster, no matter how hard she tried to keep them back. After taking a few deep breaths and racing some encouraging pats on the back from her team, Bada was able to speak up
“I’m glad we always scored well in previous missions, but it was a lot of pressure going into this knowing how high the standards were for us…” the tall leader started off 
“It’s really all thanks to the members for keeping things going while i wasn’t at my best, so thank you. We’ll continue to keep showing great performances.” Bada finished with a firm not and grateful smile, evoking applause from the other teams. Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo place in sixth and seventh by default, meaning they are the two teams up for elimination. Daniel announces that both teams are free to go prepare for the battles now and everyone disperses, heading back to their individual hideouts. Jam Republic is one of the last groups to head up to their room, along with Mannequeen, seeing as the two were hyping each other’s videos up.
“Oh shit- I think I left my phone down there…” Y/n sighed in annoyance after feeling around for her phone and not finding it
“Do you want me to come with you to check?” Emma offered, but the younger just shook her head
“No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you guys back in the room” she replied and the others nodded, then they both parted ways. Y/n went back down to the fight zone area, looking around Jam Republic’s seating for her phone, finally finding it next to the bleachers. As she heads back up and begins going down the hall, someone rounds the corner nearly bumping into her.
“Oh- I’m sorry” Y/n meekly whispers at the taller blonde, who at first was glaring down at her, but softened her gaze once she realized how terrible the girl looked. Even under all the stage makeup she had on, Y/n’s eyes were slightly sunken in and didn’t hold the same sparkle they usually did
“It’s fine…” Tatter somewhat dryly responded. Neither of them moved, both simply staring at each other for moments. The older of the two felt the urge to at least create some small talk between them, also harboring some guilty feelings for being cold toward the Jam Republic member.
“How have you been?” she crosses her arms and tries to sound relaxed, not wanting the other girl to feel uncomfortable. Y/n didn’t really know what to say, as she stood stuttering for a few moments, debating whether or not to answer truthfully
“well… I’ve definitely been better” is ultimately what she decides to say. Tatter frowns and her shoulders slump as she sighs
“I’m sorry…” y/n gives her a tight-lipped smile in return, hoping that would be the end, as the whole thing felt incredibly awkward. Yet the older sighed again and continued
“I’m actually sorry for some other things too… I’m sorry for not reaching out to check on you and for being so bitchy. I just saw how distraught Bada was after the whole situation between you two, and I didn’t even stop for a moment to think you could be doing worse… so I’m really sorry y/n” Tatter gently explained with genuine sorrow in her eyes. The other dancer was touched by the apology and a bit taken aback as well
“Thank you Tatter… I really appreciate it. These last few days have been miserable, especially since fighting with Bada… I understand you guys not wanting to talk to me or other things like that because I said some pretty terrible things-” the blonde cut her off with a scoff of a laugh
“Yeah well, you definitely weren’t the only one… I’d even argue that what Bada said was much worse” she strongly retorted, causing the younger girl to sigh and look down
“I know… but I kinda deserved it” Y/n quietly replied feeling her throat begin to close up at the memory
“Not really… I mean sure- you were being an annoying brat, and maybe a tiny bit selfish in the moment, definitely petty-” the other girl calmly argued
“Okay Tatter, was there a point you were trying to make?” the blonde laughed at her friend’s sarcasm, glad to see the slightest smile on the girl’s face, making it known that she wasn’t taking any of it personally
“What I’m trying to say is that even though you were having a rough moment, how Bada dealt with it was absolutely not the right way to go about it. Of course, you were both at fault, but she took it too far.” Tatter finished seriously with a small shake of her head. There was another moment of silence before she began speaking again, shifting the topic slightly
“I bet dealing with this didn’t make it any easier for you to get better, huh?” the older asked in regard to Y/n getting sick and having to continue working on the mission while trying to recover
“No, I actually think it’s part of the reason I got so sick… because I was so stressed out over everything already and that was like- my final straw” The two laughed softly at Y/n’s slightly dramatic statement. Tatter pouts playfully, yet feels genuine heartache for her two friends.
“Things will get better,  believe me… she misses you, she’s just so fucking stubborn” Tatter grimaced at the thought of her hard-headed leader and how she’s currently refusing to accept her guilt, causing the tiniest saddest smile to show on y/n’s face.
“I should probably get back to my group now…” the younger softly commented looking down somewhat sadly at her shoes. Tatter hugged her without hesitation and felt Y/n tense up at first, but the short girl quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around the other in return. They said their goodbyes and right as the blonde watched Y/n turn the corner, she felt a tap on her shoulder and whipped around to see her own teammate.
“what took you so long?” Lusher questioned staring down at the still-empty water bottle the girl said she was going to fill up about 15 minutes ago. Tatter hesitated for a second before deciding it was better to just be honest
“...I was talking to Y/n” she watched as her older teammate’s eyes lit up slightly
“Oh? About?” Lusher curiously and somewhat suspiciously inquired, hoping it would be something good and not about how Tatter decided to beat the shit out of the other girl
“Nothing really, just checking in on her…” the two continued their conversation as they finally began heading back towards their hideout
“Oh, so you’re finally done glaring at her? Good!” the blonde laughed rolling her eyes at the older girl’s sarcasm
“Yeah… I apologized for being bitchy and then we talked a bit about how stressed she was and how it didn’t help when she got sick…” Lusher visibly relaxed at the younger dancer's truthful retelling of the conversation, feeling a bit more at peace knowing she wasn’t alone anymore in the “getting Bada to stop hating Y/n” battle
“I still can’t believe she got so worked up and stressed that she ended up in the hospital” Lusher nonchalantly replied, stopping Tatter in her tracks
“What??” the blonde exasperated, stuck a few steps behind behind the older dancer. Lusher looked around, confused for a moment until she remembered that she was the only one who knew
“Oh yeah, Y/n wound up in the hospital almost as soon as they got back to New Zealand. The doctors said she was so overworked and anxious that it was making her physically ill- that’s why she wasn’t allowed to practice or even be in the rehearsal space at time” Lusher briefly explained the whole situation to her teammate, who stood there with her jaw dropped
“How did you even find this out??” Tatter questioned, still baffled. Lusher’s face went from calm to somewhat guilty for a second
“Well… I had been trying to get in contact with Y/n to see how she was doing, but she wasn’t responding to any of my calls or texts. So I texted Latrice and she explained what was going on, and also made me aware that by texting her, I was lowkey stressing Y/n out more…” she finished with an embarrassed smile, knowing that she and Y/n were okay now and that she didn’t have to feel guilty about it anymore. Tatter scoffed in amusement, shaking her head as they both finally entered their team’s room.
“It took you two long enough!”
____________
After everyone had been given a break while Deep n Dap and Wolf’Lo prepared for their elimination battles, they all gathered in the arena for the show. The bright lights and cheers from the audience amped up the energy and had all the other teams extra hyped. 
The first battle was the “hidden battle”, where both teams went head to head as a whole group. Y/n wasn’t expecting more than what she’d usually seen from both groups, but it’s safe to say she was blown away by Deep n Dap’s performance. The song choice and usage of nunchucks really had her getting hyped up, and her normal, energetic self slowly coming back.
The battle to follow was between Chocol and Locker Zee. The young Jam Republic member was fired up, which meant some interesting comments were bound to leave her mouth before passing through her brain
“Bruh it’s so annoying how they’re suddenly so good… like- they were good before but this is AMAZING…” Her entire team side-eyed her, Kirsten and Latrice worried about the show airing what she just said, fearing she could get canceled; the other half trying not to laugh but internally agreed. When the third battle is about to begin and mini walks out and takes off her over shirt showing off her pink jersey, y/n gets excited and points with a smile, since the two are both pink lovers, of course causing her team to smile at her in endearment. When JJ walks out and does the same, y/n starts dying laughing, clapping her hands in amusement along with the rest of her crew. Once the battle starts Mini is the first to dance
“She’s like- actually scary” Y/n jokes around and hides behind Audrey, who laughs and continues to smile just because she’s happy her friend is able to joke around again. The fourth battle was the 5 on 5 and y/n was beginning to get tired of how good both teams were. It felt like things were never going to end, and she was honestly thinking neither team deserved to go home at this point. The fifth battle was another one-on-one with Baby Sleek and Locker Zee, which resulted in another win for Wolf’Lo, bringing the score to 3:2 in favor of Wolf’Lo.
For once, Y/n actually found herself rooting for Deep n Dap, probably because she couldn’t stand Wolf’Lo just as much, or possibly even worse. The sixth battle began, and it was between a duo from each team. Yeni Cho and Haechi came out for the orange team, while JJ and Locker Zee both came out for the green team. Y/n was once again bored by the older team’s presentation, genuinely excited to see what the Deep n Dap duo was about to whip up. 
When their music started and everyone recognized it was Michael Jackson, the energy in the room somehow increased even more. JJ and Locker Zee put on a flawless performance, executing each hit and accent perfectly, making sure to connect with each other and the audience. 
“BRO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?????” “I DON’T KNOW BUT I NEED MORE OF IT” Audrey and Y/n are literally losing their shit while watching the performance, absolutely obsessed with the duo, hoping to see more of them in the future. As JJ and Locker Zee took the win, it tied up the score once again, bringing them to the final round, which ended up being between the two leaders. This was a battle Y/n was extremely curious about, already not a fan of Halo’s specific style and also aware of Mina Myoung’s incapability to freestyle. But when the music started, she was pleasantly surprised 
“WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS SHE EATING?????” Y/n is so baffled by Mina Myoung’s sudden ability to freestyle efficiently. Y/n stood there, fully back to her normal self (at least for the time being) holding onto her hair with her jaw dropped. To her, the improvement (call it that or desperation) was sickening- it was such a pleasant change that Y/n felt Mina deserved the win just for that alone.
However, the win goes to Halo, giving Wolf’Lo the overall gain of staying in the competition, meaning Deep n Dap was the next team to be eliminated. It’s a bit hard to watch, knowing they truly did try their best. Y/n was doing surprisingly well with not crying- well… until Mina started talking. The leader began her speech and the Jam Republic member was able to avoid tears until Mina brought up how she felt she was able to move on from 1 Million. After that, it was like the floodgates opened up. Don’t ask her why, but Y/n took that shit personally, like a shot straight to the heart. Especially when the Deep n Dap leader mentioned her relationship with Lia Kim, y/n felt her ache for them.
As all teams say their goodbyes to Deep and Dap and said team leaves the studio, filming ends for the day. Everyone is either standing around mingling or heading back to their own hideouts. Jam Republic continues their conversation with Mannequeen when Lusher comes bounding over and wraps her arms around y/n congratulating her, nearly scaring the life out of the small girl. When the younger turns around to see who it is, she once again bursts into tears and clings to her. Lusher feels her heart break even more for her friend yet can’t help but giggle softly at how cute the reaction was. Poor y/n was so scared that Lusher hated her too and it brought her the slightest bit of relief knowing that she didn't
Bada watched from where the rest of team Bebe sat in their designated spot, not even trying to hide her irritation at the situation. She was feeling a mix of annoyance (at both y/n and lusher) and watching the interaction once again sent a wave of guilt rushing through her.
"Ya know you can go congratulate her too…" Tatter spoke up from behind the leader. Bada looked over her shoulder at the blonde and scoffed, but it held no malice- she just sounded exhausted
"And why would I go do that?" the team leader looks over her shoulder with a cold stare and a slight look of disgust at the idea
"well for starters so you can stop getting into arguments with your own teammates-" She did have a point… Bada had been much more irritable since the argument, causing a lot of their practice time to be even more strictly ran
"and two, so you can stop making both her and yourself miserable" Ouch Tatter. Ouch.
“Weren’t you just glaring at her too when we walked in?” Bada rolled her eyes and pouted childishly crossing her arms, causing the other girl to snort and respond
“Yeah, but I talked to her in the hallway… she was in the hospital you know-” Tatter responded as if it were common knowledge or a quick throwaway fact about the girl
“What???” the leader’s eyes widened and she uncrossed her arms leaning forward to make sure she heard the girl correctly
“Yeah… got so worked up and anxious over everything she made herself sick apparently” Tatter shrugged, not having all the proper information. Bada sighed and rolled her eyes
“Seriously? Where‘d you even hear this from?” she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, now fully recognizing and admitting to the guilt she’d been suppressing. Tatter hesitated for a second, debating whether or not to mention her small conversation with the girl they were talking about, ultimately deciding not to.
“Lusher” the blonde gave away her source matter-of-factly. Of course, she heard it from Lusher. Bada was beginning to think if she hadn’t made a move on Y/n first, Lusher would’ve easily swooped in and done so. But now that she and Y/n were fighting, did that mean Bada could potentially lose her to the other girl? Lusher was attentive and understanding, closer to Y/n’s age, and had been the first of team Bebe to interact with Y/n… plus she had been in contact with her after the whole incident. The leader tried not to worry about the irrational possibility of her own teammate stealing the girl she was pining after away from her… but it was still a lingering thought nonetheless.
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notes: i needed this chapter to be as long as it was just so you guys didn't have to suffer as much in the next chapter🫶
taglist (open) (continued in replies): @tinybada @angel-hyuckie @violetinferno @jesuschrist2006 @1luvkarina @uwulyn @justandloyal2961 @deadgirlwalking3 @squidvoldyvoid @vivzyo @ouhaika @jksjx @ocyeanicc @marianamartinsthings @jxrdxnh @luvjanexx @lorenztired @khjssss @heavenlycloud @loisje123 @starchasermyloves @zhivaxo @grinnwolph @notyourd0lly @stinkbvgs @nermandiiiii-blog @arujee @idontknownemore @thatgayinsomniac @fruitr0llup @cgriffin9797-blog @woooooya @kaaylvst @ssc7514 @astoreea @linda-botello @kpopgirl-97 @erikook @misszoldyc @sammisregrets @jysai @moonsvrse @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @aestrelle19 @laaaasanielzz @randomhoex @tswisal1 @unpretty-reader @charlesswife @stella222
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gallusrostromegalus · 8 months
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You ohhhandedly mentioned tessai livong through ww2 and… wow thats true there were a lot of characters that got a first row seat to both conflicts, even if only the second was really impactful on japans history. Does urahara, yoruichi, tessai, the vizored or any of the shinigami have any specific feelings on ww2/the nuclear bombs? I know its a wild fucking question but it literally just occurred to me and i cant stop thinking about it.
Yeah WW2 is an entire 5-chapter arc in the fic because apparently Kubo is from Hiroshima, and Karakura town is based on his memories growing up there. Stuff that happens during that arc:
The Soul Society's sole warning that something catastrophic might be coming is the arrival of an irradiated and enraged Coyote spirit from the Trinidad test site. It's up to Newly-appointed captain Komamura to calm it down and explain what happened, and Mayuri is able to work out that atomic weapons are real from it's descriptions. He gives Soul Society about a month before the humans drop one on a city.
Unfortunately, he's correct.
***
Urahara and the Visoreds use the fact that they're already dead to mitigate some of the damage from the bombing by walking into the epicenter and shoving carbon rods into the most radioactive points, stemming much of the radiation damage, but there's nothing they can do for the initial wave of destruction.
It involves going through a new gigai every trip and learning what if feels like to have the flesh actually melt off your bones, but Hirako Shinji and the other Visored are no cowards, least of all about Hard and Dirty Work.
Tessai makes Ururu and Jinta out of spare parts from Urahara's Gigai experiments to house a heavily damage Kitsune and Tanuki spirit pair from a shrine that was destroyed. Ururu is the Tankuki, and the older one- Jinta seems a bit more 'organic' because Tessai learned a lot making his sister, and because as a Kitsune, he's a better actor.
***
Soul Society is in major trouble though.
with the sudden influx of souls- first from the bombing, but then from the radiation sickness and the famine that followed, the living and spirit worlds are in danger of becoming unbalanced.
It's a Major Crisis!
Fortunately for them, people with sociopathy tend to operate really well during Crises, and I realized the reason Mayuri hasn't been fired or killed by the time Ichigo shows up is that when shit hits the fan, Mayuri's lack of emotional response to the suffering of others means he can buckle down and fucking DELIVER.
Expansions to the pocket dimension that the queue of incoming souls is housed in? He didn't sleep for two weeks to get it done on time, but there was more than enough room when the bomb dropped and for the few months after as casualties continued.
Emergency rations for all these incoming factory workers that know nothing about farming? Behold, Nutritionally complete meals that you can eat right out of the box! And smaller, friendlier ones for the kiddies!
Hell, the 12th division even makes instructional propaganda videos about how safe and tasty these new foods are, featuring The Grand Clown Himself, and distribution centers featuring his likeness, so Mayuri enjoys a peculiar popularity in the Rukongai, not unlike an off-brand and sometimes educational Krusty The Clown.
Just ah. Stop asking questions about the ingredients list.
***
"I'm not fucking killing civillians." Says Kenpachi when Yamamoto begins to bring up the historical method that the Shinigami have used to balance out sudden influxes of souls from the living world.
"Oh?" Yamamoto glares at him. "You have a better idea?"
"What's them big fuckers that come outta tears sometimes? Hundred feet tall, black, bird faces?" He asks, waving as he tries to remember the names.
"...Menos Grande?" asks Ukitake, who has gotten remarkably good at interpreting for the man next to him at meetings.
"Yeah!" Zaraki grins, patting his six-foot-tall colleague on the head like a small child. "You said they're like... combination creatures of a thousand souls each right?"
"Zaraki is correct." Pipes up Tousen, who is also extremely eager to not murder civilians and even more eager to absolutely fuck up the army of Menos Aizen has been gathering in Hueco Mundo. "-It wouldn't be *easy* but dispatching approximately Five hundred Menos in the next week seems much more doable and much, much more morally sound than killing five hundred thousand civillians. Sir."
Kaname can feel the curse nails on his back starting to bleed from Aizen's glare but he presses on.
"-There appears to be a significant population of them gathered on the far eastern edge of Hueco Mundo. It would probably take most of the 11th Division's forces but-"
"IKKAKU!" Zaraki is already bellowing out the door to his lieutenant. "TELL EVERYONE TO PACK AN EXTRA PAIR OF PANTIES, WE'RE GOING ON A HOLLOW HUNT!"
There is a distant but enthusiastic whoop form Ikkaku in reply.
"An excursion into Hueco Mundo is exceptionally dangerous." Unohana notes, voice placid as he returns to the table.
"-and? I don't do this job because it's safe 'n' easy." Zaraki shrugs.
Her neutral expression softens just a bit into a small, affectionate and perhaps ever-so-slightly lascivious smile. "May I suggest that a detachment of the 4th Division accompany the 11th? It won't make the work easier, but it will mitigate some of the risk."
Yamamoto groans, aware that the decision has been made for him.
"Fine." He grunts. "Take a detachment of the Ninth too, you can use that newfangled radiodar whatsit to keep me updated."
"Pardon?" Mumbles Kaname, slightly woozy from blood loss.
His circulatory situation is not helped when an illusion-blind-to-the-blood Zaraki grabs him about the middle and starts carrying him off under his arm in exactly the direction the 9th and 11th are not like a particularly bewildered purse Chihuahua.
***
Aizen... almost strays from his path.
The Hogyoku is slow and tiresome, his first plan to barrage Karakura with Menos to create the Oken is being trashed and actually being forced to work his job of Rukongai Management is- Well, it's reminding him just why he started this quest to Dethrone God.
What loving creator would make an afterlife of squalor, where the 'lucky' are cursed to outlive everyone they know and love? Not one worth worshiping, surely.
But actually being out here, setting up emergency food distribution, implementing the latest in civil engineering from the newly arrived and seeing it immediately improve the quality of life, uniting families and... actually helping people? it's making him question his path. Perhaps- Perhaps God is not some uncaring regent on a distant throne. Perhaps God is something that lives in all souls, a kindness and goodwill towards one's fellow man, and to spread the will of a loving creator, one must Act to Enact God's Will...
Gin Panics.
He has not spent the last 300-odd years dangling the Hogyoku in front of Aizen, stuffing him full of spiritual energy to feed to the machine that generates reality like he was fattening up a goose for Pate, only to have him give up his quest for divinity NOW.
He's gonna have to do something drastic.
He's gonna have to convince Aizen he was right all along, and that he needs to keep using the Hogyoku.
He's going to need to use Aizen's own Illusions against him, and convince Aizen that the souls of the citizens of the rukongai aren't worth playing a Benevolent God for. That the whole thing needs to come out and be replaced.
Sure, it's a dick move
but those are his specialty.
***
It's the night before the 11th and the two detachments are supposed to leave for Hueco Mundo, and Yamamoto's been doing some thinking.
He is also in Zaraki's quarters at midnight sharp. "Captain-General." Nods Unohana, pausing mid-activity to acknowledge him. "Bruh." Zaraki grunts to indicate they were busy. "I need to borrow Zaraki for an hour or so, and then you may continue." he says, and then steps back outside so the man can get untied and dressed.
"This better be good old man, I know you haven't been married for a few centuries but REALLY-" Zaraki grumbles, emerging and putting his sandals on. "Don’t worry, it’ll take twenty minutes tops, all you have to do is stand behind me and don’t hide your rage." Yamamoto explains. "-We'’re going to go see the central 46." Zaraki pauses mid-sandal, slowly looking up at him with an intrigued arch to his brow. "Yes, it’s forbidden." Yamamoto says, not tearing his gaze away from the moon above them. "-But I've received reports that the Central 46 has acquired blueprints of the... Device. Used in the living world earlier this month and I'm nipping this at the damn bud." Zaraki grins, and finishes putting his sandals on.
The Central 46 are alerted to the Presence of Yamamoto and Zaraki by the main gate to their district being kicked through the wall of the council chambers.
"Hello, Sages and Wise Councilors of the Soul Society!" The Old Man greets them as he steps through the hole he just made, and The Barbarian squeezing through after, sword casually over his shoulder. "Well isn't this a surprise, everyone here in a full meeting at One in the Morning on a Teusday!"
"Wh-What is the meaning of this?" one of the head councilmen sputters, mustache bristling. "Shinigami are forbidden form this place, I'll have you both execu-!"
"Shut up." Yamamoto glares, and sparks fly from the corner of his eye. The hem of his Haori is starting to smolder and singe as well as he approaches the table the councilors are crowded around the blueprints from the living world.
"Now, we are all good and honorable people here." Yamamoto says, casually waving a hand in what would normally be a placating gesture but now only made his sleeve flicker as Ryujin Jakka grew hungrier. "-But I've been around long enough to know how Power corrupts."
"And we've all been exposed to a new, horrific level of Power."
"Oh, of course, you would never! It's unthinkable to sink to such a level!"
"...but it's been a few weeks. The initial shock has faded, and you're starting to understand the full toll of the destruction." he explains, strolling up, the diamond insignia on his back spreading across his shoulders as the Haori singes. Behind him, Zaraki is following with an unpleasantly carnivorous stroll, yellow eye lazily moving from face to face, taking stock of all those present. "...and you are perhaps developing a new standard of devastation and suffering to wish upon your enemies."
There is some muttering, some protesting, and worse, some agreeing. They are silenced by a sudden electric crackle of Energy from Zaraki.
"I’m just here to tell you all-" Yamamoto continues, unperturbed. Or perhaps so perturbed he's warped all the way around to a deep, ruthless peace.
"If I hear any ONE of you has taken steps to develop a weapon like this-" he points a finger at the blueprints, which singe and then burn, a low, slow flame that reduces them completely to ash.
"-I’m going to kill all of you."
"Actually," he explains, as the blueprints finish burning and the table catches as well, fire blooming and crackling, lighting him from beneath. "I’m going to kill all of you and your families. By which I mean, I’m figuring out who all your ancestors were going back Five generations, Kill them, and kill all their descendants."
The table burns, and the floor is threatening to catch, but nobody can move to ring the fire alarm or grab a bucket of water.
"-Because that’s the kind of indiscriminate destruction these things cause." he explains. "It's a damn shame to say this, but this is the first time we've been able to settle whole families in the same town- because five, six, even seven generations of families, from great-great grandmother to the newest infants were burnt together in an instant."
"So if you want to wield that kind of destruction, you best be prepared to deal with those kinds of consequences." he growls, and suddenly sweeps his hand over the fire, which snuffs out immediately.
Slowly he turns to go, and regards Zaraki behind him.
"Oh, and just in case any of you had thoughts of hastening my retirement in regards to this matter-" he speaks up, and points to Zaraki "-Near as I can tell, this asshole is immortal and indestructible, so if I happen to be dead, he'll do it for me, won't you?"
"Yes, sir." Zaraki Nods, eye fixed on the head councilor, committing his face to memory, blade and crackling eagerly.
"-and he's nowhere near as speedy and clean a killer as I am, so I suggest you don't test either of us." Yamamoto grins, and Ryujin Jakka can't help but flicker off his brow for emphasis.
"Goodnight, and go fuck yourselves." Yamamoto bows, and exits through the same hole he entered.
The walk back to the 11th is largely silent, but Yamamot can feel the pleased-yet-curious thrum of reiatsu from Zaraki.
"Question, boss-" he suddenly speaks as they approach the 11th.
"You're not supposed to question orders, Zaraki." He sighs. He'll make a proper shinigami out of him. Eventually.
"...Request for clarification, Boss-" Zaraki tries again, and Yamamoto nods. "-Why me?"
Yamamoto arches an overgrown brow at him.
"Not complainin'-" Zaraki explains, pointedly looking up at the moon and scratching his neck in deferment. "-But Byakuya's got more sway with them and Gin's definitely better at terrifying first impressions."
"Hm." Yamamoto nods. "It's in the follow-up, not the impression, you see."
"I do not." Zaraki says. For all his faults and frustrations, Zaraki sure keeps Yamamoto on his toes about not being lazy and actually explaining himself.
"-I am very serious about you killing them and their descendants if they ever think about making one of those devices." he sighs and Zaraki nods, waving a hand for him to continue. "-So I picked the Shinigami most invested in a peaceful future to make sure my orders would be carried out."
Zaraki still looks confused.
"You're my only captain with children, Zaraki." Yamamoto explains. "I know you only give half a rat's ass about the court guard, but I've seen what you'll do for Yachiru."
Zaraki nods understanding now, and a few more paces of silence pass between them.
"...Thank you, Sir." Zaraki mutters, bowing his head and using the honorific with genuine intent for the first time since Yamamoto had known him. "-For understanding."
"Thank you, Captain Zaraki." Yamamoto nodded slightly, stopping before the gate to the 11th. "-For understanding as well."
"-Now get back to Captain Unohana before she schedules some sort of blood test of a thousand needles for me!" Yamamoto grunted, prodding at Zaraki with his cane, and the man didn't need to be told twice.
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kisses4kaia · 1 year
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* 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥- 𝐜, 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 🌪️
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𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: you and glenn found each other at the beginning and then get separated. you float around the country for a while before you find your way to alexandria. you recognize glenn and he was in a group with strong and brave characters. one of which, is a very cute guy around your age called carl grimes. (2nd person POV)
𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬: season 5 era, however, carl is aged up and has lost his eye. glenn wasn't always with the quarry gang.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: teasing, penetrative sex (p in v), cunnilingus, protected sex, pet names (new girl).
"please, don't be alarmed at the sheer amount of obliviousness to the outside world these people have," a man who you judged to be kind previously introduced as aaron warned as a tall, large, metal, gate slid open to reveal a suburban mini town.
it was nothing like you were expecting. people roaming around town, laughing, chatting, children playing. it all seemed impossible to you.
as you hesitantly walked into town, you noticed a familiar face next to a very pretty lady. you gasped in shock.
the pair turned to the gate to see the new arrival and the man's face dropped in shock. "y/n?" glenn said as a smile lit up your face. you ran up to him as he bent down with his arms extended for a hug. you immediately threw your arms around him in an embrace.
"glenn i- how are you- i don't understand?" you said as the pretty lady stood next to you and your brother from another mother with an amused look adorning her features.
"y/n, this is my wife, maggie. maggie, this is y/n, we were together in the very beginning before i found rick and the quarry group. she's like my sister, and i haven’t seen her in years," glenn introduced with a pleased smile on his face.
"hi, maggie. it's so nice to meet you, i must say, you are very pretty," you said to the short-haired woman. maggie reciprocated the introduction and accepted the compliment appreciatively.
"she's like, really pretty. you got married? when did you get here? who's rick? what's this place like? where have you been?" you rambled question after question once glenn excused himself from his wife so as to let the pair of you catch up.
"slow down, y/n/n," he said. "i know, she is very pretty. i did get married, but there wasn't a huge wedding or anything. we got here a few weeks ago. rick is the leader of my group. alexandria's pretty cool. it's safe, from what we’ve seen so far. and we've been about everywhere. now, where have you been? i mean, after we got separated." glenn inquired.
you took a deep breath. "wow. uhm, i've been floating around, i guess. i was with a few groups, but none of them lasted or were what i needed. i honestly don't really remember how i ended up in virginia," you explained with a breathy laugh as you walked down the streets with glenn.
it was then you got stopped by a short, bright-eyed, woman.
"hello, aaron tells me you're y/n? i'm deanna. i run this place, you could say. can i pull you away for a minute?" she said genuinely. glenn simply smiled at you as if to tell you she’s safe and not to worry.
you reluctantly walked away from the one familiar face in this place with deanna. she brought you to a house—her's, probably—where she set up a camcorder and began interrogation you.
after the short questionnaire, deanna assigned you to a house. apparently, it was already occupied by another teenage girl of your age group, enid.
as you walked into your house with the keys provided to you, you notice a group of teenagers sitting on the couch, 2 playing video games, and 2 others just chatting.
the only girl in the group notices you and jumps up from her spot on the couch. "oh my gosh! hey, you must be y/n. i'm your roommate, enid. these are my friends, ron, mikey, and carl." the girl with a bright smile introduced herself and each one of the boys.
you were a touch overwhelmed. you felt a bit self-conscious, realizing how clean and well-groomed everyone was, in contrast to your dirt-ridden white t-shirt and cargo shorts and boots.
"hey," a boy with curly hair, presumably mikey said, not looking up from his video game. his opponent, ron, also said "what's up?"
the last person on the couch was carl. he looked the most interesting to you, donning a sheriffs hat and a white, gauze, eyepatch. he just looked you up and down and smirked to himself. odd.
"i'm gonna go… shower,” you excused yourself upstairs to find your room and to truly, shower. you know there was running water, you saw it when enid turned on the faucet to grab a cup of water before sitting back on the couch. always the observer, you were.
after you showered and changed into fresh, clean clothes, you made your way downstairs. it seemed like ron and mikey had already returned home, leaving carl and enid on their respective seats on opposite sides if the couch.
"hey, new girl, we were just talking about you," carl said like he was trying to contain a smirk. "new girl?" you said, sitting next to enid on the sofa. "dude, be nice," enid said to carl, shooting him a warning glare.
"she's new, isn't she?" he defended himself. "i'm so sorry about him. usually, he's better than this," she apologized, another glare shot his way. you just chuckle to yourself and say "it's all good, i’ve been called worse," you leaned back, letting yourself relax for the first time in months.
"interesting, new girl. care to share?" the eye-patched boy asked. "first of all, i have a name. second of all, i don't owe you anything," you started before narrowing your eyes at him. "you're part of glenn's group, no?" you asked.
carl hummed, confirming. enid was sitting back and watching the unfolding drama between her two friends. "i am, you knew him?" he answered. "i did," you challenged, eyes boring into his.
"uhm, i think mikey needed me over at his place? bye guys!" enid lied to get out of the thick-tensioned room, darting out of the house.
"y'know, new girl, i think i like you," carl spoke. "you think? you wanna elaborate on that?" you smirked. "well, your stubborn, but not cocky. that's good. you're also hot, and my age," carl explained nonchalantly, moving closer to you.
you laughed at this. "is that so? i mean, you're not too bad yourself. however, i did only just meet you," you said. "we can get to know each other really well if you wanted to." he whispered, moving his gaze from your eyes to your lips and back up to lock eye(s) with you.
you stayed silent for a moment while subconsciously leaning closer and closer. you grazed your lips against his cheek and down to his jaw. you placed wet kisses along his collarbone before bringing your head back up to his head
"y/n," he groaned. "fucking stop," he muttered like he was getting impatient and smashed his lips against yours. you two moved like you were born to do this. you tangled your hands in his hair.
he pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him on the couch. you took initiative and started grinding your hips against his crotch. you could feel him grow under you and it made you so wet.
you were so pent up. of course, there wasn't much sex happening at the end of the world, but you were a hormonal teenager with needs, and he was fulfilling each and every one. naturally, he felt verbatim.
"carl, upstairs," you moaned in between kisses. he wordlessly picked you up from under your thighs, not disconnecting your lips as he trudged up the stairs. he had obviously been here many times because he seemed to navigate the place better than you could've.
he figured out the location of your room quickly with some gentle navigation and laid you down on your bed. you pulled your thin shirt over your head. you watched as carl peeled off his flannel and then t-shirt. 
you lay flat on your back while he situated himself in between your legs, pulling them apart. the motion collected in your core, and he fumbled at his belt before you quickly undid it with one hand, pulling a groan from him.
he then pulled you by your ankles to the edge of the bed as you peeled off your last layers of clothing. he stared at you, admiring each and every crease and mark. "god, you are so beautiful," he said softly, but still with the same hunger and lust he had moments before.
carl grabbed a condom from his jean pocket. you wondered why he had one so at the ready, but you shook the thought away, too focused on the pleasure you knew he was going to give you.
he rolled it on before rubbing his pink tip up and down your slick slit, teasing you. "i swear to god, carl. if you don't fuck me in the next 2 secon- oh!” you were interrupted by carl pushing his full length into you. 
he pulled your leg up to his shoulder. he bottomed out, and gave you a moment to adjust to his size and after a moment, carl began to move and you sighed in arousal. he took that as a good sign before he used your leg as support to begin ramming into you.
"fuck, new girl. you're so tight," he almost whimpered into your ears after he fell on top of you, not letting up on his pace. his words made you clench your walls around him, making him whimper once more.
it felt good. too good. you thought- no, you knew. you knew if anyone tried to have a conversation with you right now, you wouldn't be able to properly form a coherent sentence. carl grimes was fucking your brains out and you were 110% okay with it.
carl snaked his hand down your body, making stops at your neck, both of your tits, and your love handles, then settled on your clit, making quick figure eights on it.
that was your breaking point. you allowed the tight knot in your stomach to snap, seeing white hot. you couldn't feel anything except him. 
it was all him. you had only known him less than a day and he had already infiltrated each and every one of your senses. 
you just moaned loudly and messily. carl, too, was nearing his release, and you could feel his protected dick twitch inside of you. "y/n, i'm gonna c-cum, holy sh- fuck!" he said before coming into the condom. 
after riding out both of your orgasms with a shudder from carl, he pulled out, watching your own juices flow out of your sensitive cunt. he thought for a moment before getting on his knees and lapping up all of your arousal.
you looked down at him and the view could've made you come again on its own. "carl, you're gonna make me fucking scream," you chuckled before he finished his special clean-up process. "would that be the end of the world?" he said before realizing what he said.
"you know what i meant," he chuckled before helping you off the bed and into the bathroom connected to your room. what a night.
𝐚/𝐧 :  i loved writing this ! lemme know what you thought and don't forget to vote 🤍
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cielelyse · 3 months
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Favourite 5 Saezuru Scenes
I recently reread Saezuru for the umpteenth time and just needed to gush about it like a crazed person who constantly hallucinates about Yashiro being happy and soOooOOooo.................
1. Why now? (Chapter 25)
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These 3 panels kill me always... although it's the entire chapter 25 actually, and not just these panels. This broke me when I first read it nearly a decade ago, and it breaks me every time I reread it. I recently just listened to the drama CD for the first time and wanted to hear how this scene played out (a.k.a. wanted to hear Yashiro moan wkegh;ghwle) and I did not expect to start bawling and sobbing uncontrollably when his flashback appeared. WITH THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING. THEY DID NOT SPARE ME. FUCK. What was supposed to be a tender and gentle and loving and intimate scene between them turned into Yashiro facing the effects of his childhood trauma -- that will never cease to hurt me. Doumeki saying "kashira, kashira, kirei" right before that broke me in a way reading that scene in English couldn't. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS and if I keep writing about it I'm gonna cry again so:
2. Car ride back from Kageyama's clinic (Chapter 4)
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This is mostly for nostalgic reasons, really. I first read Saezuru in 2013, and I wasn't used to Yashiro at first. I didn't know what to make of him.
So what happened was that I read "Don't Stay Gold" first and was like... there's a manga about this mildly threatening and unreadable yakuza dude who's Kage's friend…? Who played cupid for him in a weird way? HMMMMM dubious, dubious. Would I even like him? It took me a while, but I finally gave Saezuru a shot anyway, and I remember feeling uncertain about Yashiro up until those panels. I remember it so starkly, because this was the instant I fell in love with him. I think it was because this was the first time I understood the depth of his loneliness (since I hadn't read his high school oneshot yet at this point).
There's just something about how Yoneda Kou-sensei draws these kinds of pages that just resonates with me so well. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. It just connects with me the way Yashiro connects with me, and that was pretty much it for me. Obsession sealed. Life signed away. For the next 10 years I would follow the story closely and routinely check every few months for updates. Yashiro became one of my only 3 comfort characters, and rereading Saezuru always gives me a catharsis and sense of peace that I didn't know how to find elsewhere.
3. "To go on living this strained existence... no longer holds any meaning to me." (Chapter 34)
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This scene is one that I come back to every time I'm down. AM I A MASOCHIST? I really like the June translation too: "To go on living this strained existence no longer holds any meaning to me." I think the way the panels divided up those thoughts were brilliant!
This especially hurt me because for the entire manga up to this point, Yashiro has stated that he completely accepts himself and he's happy with who he is. It wasn't until his realization during the sex scene with Doumeki and how much he's said/done hurtful things to Doumeki afterwards -- who he considers pure and sweet and good -- that he thinks this.
4. "Falling in love feels like this" (Chapter 33)
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The first time I read this, I had to set my PC down, go out to my apartment balcony, and just silently stare out into the night and resist the urge to smoke (that was half a joke) (I did feel a pang in my chest though) (and I did have to fight very hard not to smoke lwkehg;hge). I love the dialogue right after these panels too, when Yashiro said, "Your sister was lucky that you were there." That, along with Doumeki's reaction, hurt.
This was such an intimate scene between them. Yashiro was so vulnerable. So was Doumeki. I hadn't realized this until I reread Saezuru this year, but these two have always had such intimate scenes right from the start. It was a slow burn, yes, but they had always been instantly drawn to each other: Doumeki thinking Yashiro was beautiful and captivating, and Yashiro doing something he doesn't normally do with his subordinates the first time he met Doumeki. And it didn't clue in for me back in 2013, but their conversations with each other were much more intimate than the conversations they'd have with anyone else, right from chapter 1. I find that so precious.
5. Dream (Chapter 40)
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I couldn't not include a scene from post-timeskip, BECAUSE I LOVE POST-TIMESKIP. I love Darkmeki and I love Yashiro and I love that the theme of post-timeskip centers around "change". Wish I could include that conversation Yashiro had with Tsunakawa about it, because I thought that drive-home was brilliant. I really appreciate that Yoneda Kou didn't have Yashiro and Doumeki get together right away after they have sex, and I really appreciate that the question was raised of: Do people change? Can people change on their own, or would you have to force them? Or are we always the same at our core? And I think the answer is of course a mixture of all of it, and that it's very much circumstantial and subjective, but I love how we're able to see the shifts in both Yashiro and Doumeki. How both men aren't quite the same people we knew pre-timeskip. Ten years ago I didn't think I would meet a version of Yashiro that wouldn't talk about sex 24/7, but here we are.
(Not to say that they're completely different now. They're still our Yashiro and Doumeki of course; I just wanted to gush about how well Yoneda Kou were able to flesh out her characters in such a complex, multidimensional way.)
ANYWAYS, I went on a rant without even mentioning these panels of Yashiro's dream. I love everything about it: Doumeki's face not showing, Yashiro running away and turning back to see Doumeki not there anymore, and that last panel of him standing in the middle of nowhere, lost and empty and lonely -- all of that was so incredibly told in pages of no words. UGH YONEDA KOU IS A GENIUS. It reminds me of that page of Yashiro looking at a mother and child in the rain; it's one of my favourite scenes too.
Honourary Mention (Chapter 4):
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I should end with a more light-hearted one. THIS WAS CUTEEEE. I remember reading this for the first time and thinking Yashiro was just salty that his roleplay got ruined. But upon second reread (and maybe I'm delusional here), I thought he might've been happy to hear Doumeki say that.
We know Yashiro gets angry and irritated whenever he's happy to hear something sweet from Doumeki (like that extra when they ate together LOL), and that he had the same reaction of kicking the chair when Doumeki said he can't touch Yashiro's hair anymore. Which was cute to say. So I thought Yashiro might've lashed out in annoyance because he was glad that Doumeki doesn't mind. (I tried putting myself in Yashiro's shoes so many times trying to imagine how I would feel if Doumeki had said this............. and somehow came up with "happy" xD)
...........or maybe this was obvious to everyone and I've just been clueless. AAAAAAAA THIS IS WHY I LOVE ABOUT SAEZURU SO MUCH. It never spoon-feeds you information and lets its readers interpret :")
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roodles03 · 5 months
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Huntlow Grom Redraws (The Mud)
Huntlow Grom Masterpost:
Previous: Overview: (Redone)
Next: The Halls
Video:
AHAHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THESE? THE REDRAWS HAVE RETURNED!!!
First two things since I KNOW I will get comments about this
"Why is Willow's hair still braided?" Because I headcannon she cut her hair just before Grom. She figured it'd get in the way of her fighting Grom itself. At this point in time, she had not cut her hair yet, seeing as it's not until this moment when she decided to swap with Hunter.
"How did Willow use the light glyph?" IT IS NOT A LIGHT GYPLH. It's a light spell. "But that isn't a plant spell?" Light spells are confirmed to be an incredibly easy for any witch to do. Amity even says "That's nothing. A child could do a light spell." In Covention. I see no reason for Willow to be unable to cast a simple light spell.
I should also mention that this is NOT a Huntlow swap AU. Lumity Grom is still cannon. Everything in the show remains the same. This is simply a future Grom during the WAD timeskip. I'm just redrawing Willow and Hunter in their places because I think it's cool to see what they'd look like in these scenes.
Anyway, hell yeah, I'm finally back to these. This was incredibly fun to make, and some of these poses were challenging to replicate with Hunter and Willow's body types. The lighting was a pain in the ass, too, I ended up going through two different ways of doing it, I had gotten two panels done with the old method before having to redo them with the new better method. By panel 9, I went back and added my personal stylized shading on the hair and faces of Willow and Hunter. I intially left it out in favor of more show accuracy, then realized that I just didn't like how my art looked without it.
I did change a few of the expressions and poses from the screenshots I referenced.
Panel one is obvious, I had to change the hands due to Willow casting a spell circle rather then using a glyphs.
I made Hunter a bit more scared then Amity looked since I headcannon he has a phobia of mud.
In panel 5 I changed the expressions of both. Willow is worried instead of cheerful, and Hunter is sad instead of giving Willow a bitter look. Neither of the original expressions made sense for their character.
Willow in panels 7, 9, and 10 has little lines under her eyes to show that deep down, she is afraid and part of her doesn't want to replace Hunter, but she is doing it to be reilable and help Hunter. She'd rather make someone else happy than do what's best for her own well being.
Also made Hunter blush being starstruck because... well I wanted to haha.
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