I Discovered A Treasure

And it’s called “Ride The Cyclone” by Brooke Maxwell and Jacob Richmond. Holy crap, I couldn’t stop listening to the soundtrack all week and Annapantsu made a banger of a cover on “The Ballad of Jane Doe” on YouTube.

I love all of the characters; Ocean’s hilarious and gets a good redemption, Constance is great when she stands up for herself and finally sings as the lead, Mischa and Noel are absolutely adorable together--whether you read their bond as a close friendship or something more romantic, it’s cute no matter what--Ricky’s song about space cats came out of NOWHERE but I’m here for it, and Jane Doe stole the show because of Emily Rohm’s performance. 

They really are written like teenagers, too, with funny references that don’t sound like they’re trying too hard to be relatable. I keep smiling maniacally at work because a quote will suddenly pop into my head like Mischa calling red-headed Ocean “little orphan a-hole” in his Ukrainian accent or Constance singing “I hope I wiped my browser history clean” when she realizes she died. 

Though, sadly, I have to say that while I adore this play, it can’t surpass “Next To Normal” by Brian Yorkey and Tom Kitt as my number one favorite musical. If you haven’t listened to the soundtracks of either of these, I highly recommend as long as you’re okay with dark themes like death. There’s... There’s a lot of that, haha. 

Ah mmmm well

You know how in mermaid stories, the mermaid is typically the dumber one? I present to you the "and they were both scientists" plot.

Basically the concept is that mermechs and regular mechs can't talk to each other. But luckily even if they speak different languages they still use the same math~

I discovered a bunch of simpatico mer-fics. So. I wanted to do something with this concept too haha. If some physicist happens to read this - feel free to laugh at me. I know nothing about science👍

I don’t know if I’ll continue this thing. Should I. Idk. It’s midnight I might be going crazy lol. I made that cover anyway bc I love making covers hehe

[Next]->

I'm dying bc the Barbie movie is all about how Ken is "just Ken" and an accessory to Barbie and Barbie later gives him a pep talk about how he needs to find value in himself and discover that he's Kenough.... but on Mattel's page for the Barbie movie, all the Ken dolls are half as expensive as the Barbie dolls. And the movie exclusive Barbie dolls are completely sold out whereas all the movie exclusive Ken dolls are still in stock 💀💀💀

I feel like people sometimes have a tendency to paint Inej as a little too wide-eyed and borderline naive and I feel like that's such a misread and disservice to her character, because her faith and hope for a better future isn't some misguided assumption that everything will be okay or that the world isn't so bad. She knows exactly how bad things can be and exactly what kind of evil people are capable of, and she's saying "fuck you, you can take my autonomy and my childhood and maybe I'll never see my family or home again, but I will literally die before I let make me think that the shit I've been through is all there is. The beauty and love I experienced was real and valuable and nothing you do or say will make me let go of that or believe it's not possible for me to have again," and it is genuinely the most incredible and real thing in those books.

Inej has fought tooth and nail for every ounce of goodness she has and she'll keep wringing it out of the world because those things are real and possible no matter what, and there's nothing naive about it.

I think there's a misconception among some fans who mostly get their characterisation from ao3, that the reason Cass and Jason wouldn't get along is that Jason kills people and Cass hates murderers. And like. You're 50% right but the key context being ignored is that Cass would literally fight to defend the right of a serial killer to live and change like she believes desperately in second chances no matter how far gone the killer is. She'll knock a man out and break his hand so that he can never shoot and kill someone again but if she sees someone feel bad about their kill or even like. Hesitate to hurt a child. She is all over that like she will fight the world just to save this one kind of shitty assassin and give them a second chance at life where they can do better.

Whereas Jason believes that sometimes there are bad people that are simply too far gone, too much of a force of evil hurting and draining actual innocents. And the best way to deal with scumbags like that is a bullet. He feels that some people don't deserve to live, and he's comfortable ending their lives. Judge, jury and executioner. Because no one else is going to kill these people and they deserve to die so that they can never hurt any victims again.

Of course all of this is kind of irrelevant in current canon since dc basically skipped over the reconciliation and development and went yeah Jason is a batfam member and he doesn't kill anymore. So currently in canon none of this conflict of ideals is likely to be addressed. But a lot of people are interested in writing fics that actually detail the steps of reconciliation which is great and I love those fics. I've just also noticed a trend of fumbling a little when it comes to Cass.

Because the root cause as to why they wouldn't get along is not just because Jason kills people. If Jason was a random crime lord Cass would probably try to help him get free of Gotham and start over somewhere else. Killing people and having conflicting emotions about it is the easiest way to get Cass willing to be your number one sponsor at murderer rehabilitation anonymous. It's Jason being someone personal to the family, and someone who believes that some deaths need to happen, as long as the person is sufficiently repulsive enough to Jason. Or even just as a means to an end to prove a larger point, if they're pathetic and evil enough. That's what would make Cass see red, because she projects herself on every single killer and Jason dismissing the possibility of redemption for them, writing them off as deserving of death, clashes fundamentally with not just everything Cass believes in, but also her whole sense of self. Of course it's not that deep for Jason like he's not going to believe Cass should die because she killed someone as a child. But for Cass is simply IS that deep and you throw in the fact that they're both Bruce's kids and yeah. They can maybe be civil in a room together with the family right up until one of them actually talks. Because like 99% of what they could say is guaranteed to touch a nerve for the other.

It's like: Damian says something hilarious and rude towards Jason and Jason jokes about that time he shot him and Cass immediately connects that with him not feeling bad about shooting Damian and starts grilling him as to why. Because Damian's Bruce's son? Or because he's a killer? Or just to get to the rest of the family? And Dick, Duke and Tim are so tired like Alfred cooked a nice meal can we all just eat pie for one night without having to listen to you two go at it.

Tim: I've literally shot you before do you think maybe we can cool it on fighting about Jason's personal ethics tonight. Because generally that ends with me in pain even if I do nothing but sit here.

Cass: You shot me with consent. Different.

Jason: How are you even more obnoxious than Bruce? Do you ever get tired of being so exhausting to be around with your bullshit righteousness?

Cass: If you're tired I can knock you out. Nice nap for you and fun for me.

Dick: And that's ten minutes in a room together before any threats of physical harm start flying around! Great job you two, a new personal record.

Note to self: If I ever publish my vampire story, use this post as a reference of what the cover of the first edition should look like to make it a pillar of vampire literature.  

heads up: reader struggling w friendships (feeling uninvolved + unheard)

felix hears the way you sigh as you come back into the room, and doesn't move quite yet. he knows you well enough. he listens as your footsteps draw nearer, and you pass in front of him as quickly as you can before throwing yourself onto the opposite end of the couch. it's enough to make him raise a brow--usually you'll sit next to him because you like being close to him--but he can't take his eyes off the tv screen quite yet.

"everything okay?" he says as he pulls one side of his headset back, and then he already hears changbin and jisung responding. "not--not you guys. hold on, i'll still be here--" he mutes his mic, and looks over to you. "babe?"

you curl in on yourself, frowning. "not really."

"you wanna talk about it?"

"you're busy--"

he shoves his headset down so it hangs around his neck. "i can multitask. once we're done with this, i'll stop, alright?"

you pout and he sees it from the corner of his eye. "i don't want to bother you."

"you aren't," he promises. "i'm listening."

"it's just... more of the same-old." you shift so you're a little closer to him. "feeling like some of my friends are closer with each other so i'm just kind of playing fifth wheel, platonically. other friends not listening to me when i speak meanwhile i feel like i file every little fact away..."

he's heard it before. he looks up, and he sees how upset you are, and he debates for a moment. he's going to play again with changbin and jisung this weekend... surely they can carry on without him? he pulls up his headset, unmutes, and says he's gotta go. all it takes is him mentioning your name for them to stop teasing him: felix wouldn't be ditching them if it weren't somewhat serious. he logs back out, and turns over, moving in to wrap his arms around you.

"hey." he smiles. "i love you. you wanna go out?" he says. "we can get dinner. talk more. maybe walk by the river?"

he knows you well: getting out helps. and walking by the river always helps you open up more. you peck his lips as you get up to find your shoes.

at least felix has your back when you need it the most.

There isn't a Willow skin that doesn't slay fr 🩵💙🩵

Weirdly enough, I’m with Twilight on this, not necessarily on the setup possibility, but on the idea that Melinda’s fishy and that, maybe, she figured out who Yor was (Anya’s mom/Loid’s wife) as she initially invited her to come along. 

After all, the main theme of this story is about fake identities, lies and deceiving others. Since the Desmonds and the Forgers are clearly mirroring each other narratively speaking, as the antagonists vs main characters, it just wouldn’t surprise me if Donovan and Melinda were as untraditional, as a married couple, as Loid and Yor are. 

Let me explain: until two weeks ago, almost no reader really thought Melinda would appear any time soon nor that she would be as relevant as she’s turning out to be. Why is that? Because Sensei had a lot of fun so far writing a story in which Berlint’s high society is depicted as very traditional (with the men having the important jobs while women... idk, take care of the house or go shopping?).

Of course, that’s something the made-up family of Loid, Yor and Anya only pretends to live up to, as they subvert all these tropes with pride. For example, Loid is the one who cooks and sews, Yor is the strongest character in the whole series and Anya’s on a whole other level of "gifted”. 

That’s why I just wouldn’t be surprised if the Desmond family only pretended to be on the same level of “traditional” that the rest of their peers expect them to be, only for Melinda to weigh as heavily in the plot as her husband (if not more!). 

In other words, sure, Donovan Desmond is the head of an ultra nationalist conservative party, but does this mean Melinda was just introduced to play the dutiful wife act?

maybe (after all, WISE has nothing on her and she does sound lonely, with most of her friends being from before she was First Lady)

but maybe not because that’s only a cover that she deceives others with, as she plays a big part in her husband’s war plans or in an entirely different business

TL;DR

If the ladies are actually stronger and scarier than their husband in this series, then Melinda is a real foe we’ll have to watch out for, as a good match up for Yor.

Stay tuned, this chapter was insane lmao.

I think it's so funny that people treat Arya like she has no self-control because she *checks notes* stood up to Joffrey and defended her friend from being attacked

I'm not including a situation where someone might be injured because in that case I'm thinking the bed goes to them by default or they are nominated for it. anyone who wants to be chatty goes to join the living room floor gang.

What are your thoughts and headcanons? Do you have thoughts on how the boys tend to approach assigning beds in inns? Who do the chain choose to sleep near when camping and why? What are their dynamics like when settling down for the night and getting ready for the day?

In "Mirror Vs Open Closet Door: Fight!" by Gintrinsic (here) Four refers to the chain's decision on how to split up between inn rooms as the "Link-per-room ratio" which I find very funny. He, Sky, and Time also talk about their thought process behind why they do or don't want to sleep in a room with some of the others which I find fun and interesting.

So! If you have thoughts and want to share them! *gestures to the post!*

And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.

I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.

Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!

Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.

But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?

Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.

The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.

The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.

Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.

I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.

As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.

But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.

And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.

If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.

It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".

So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.

Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.

But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.

Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.

We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.

Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?

Guess who's story mode I just rewatched

“बहुत अजीब थी वो

गुनाह की तरह छुपी-छुपी,

तो सवाब ही तरह ज़ाहिर

और कभी, किस्मत की तरह बेतुकी”

(“Strange, she was

Shrouded like a sin

Obvious like a sacred deed

And sometimes, illogical like fate.”)

- Khufiya, 2023

IN MY HEAD THEY'RE MARRIED AND LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER SHUT UP