#and i know that if they try that again anytime in the next month (break time limit i set) im going to fucking fold again!
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my partner and i broke up so I am now going to be a slut (I am emotionally incapable of being a slut)
#we were on a break with a time limit and they decided to call it off before the time limit#so to some extent this was inevitable#because why would we be on a break if we were compatible?#im such an idiot for believing someone who couldn't commit to me after several months could commit to me after 2 more months#i don't even know if i truely believed it or if i was lying to myself to try and delay my heart break#after we broke up i downloaded dating apps to see if they would cheer me up#because they apparently cheer him up! give him the validation i couldn't!#but they didn't cheer me up#they made me feel worse#because thats not how i experience connection and validation#and it doesn't make sense to me that anyone does#they probably have several dates already scheduled!#whenever we broke up the first time he went on a date with another person litterally the same day!#and then a few days later they hit me up like hey i miss you would you like to come over and talk things out#and i fucking did! like an idiot !!#and i know that if they try that again anytime in the next month (break time limit i set) im going to fucking fold again!#because im a romantic who believes in giving people chances#they are a great person and were a great partner i am just emotional right now
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Hiii can I request for some percy jackson x daughter of Apollo! (or Asclepius) Reader hcs?
⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of apollo! reader hcs
content: percy jackson x daughter of apollo! reader hcs
warning: mentions girls w/ trust issues, mentions of shitty exes (the only men you can trust are fictional. when i said date fake men, i meant like ken dolls, not assholes.) language probs
author's note: so, i made the executive decision to combine this request with another one that i got about percy with a daughter of apollo but she's got trust issues and isn't super bubbly. so if that was your request, it's also in here!! i just figured i might as well join them. but also idk why this one took sooooo long for me to figure out where i wanted to go with it but i did finally do it and that's what matters lol
seaweed brain and his grumpy sunshine girl
when i tell you it took months for percy to even get this girl to acknowledge him-
she had given up on love a long time ago, being stabbed in the back far too many times
and people tried to warn percy of that
but he liked a challenge
he'd stop by the infirmary with paper cuts and pouty lips at least once a day
"doc y/n, i'm dying, look, i think you can see bone-"
"band aids with cartoon characters are in the left cabinet, jackson," she'd bit out, not even glancing up from her clipboard.
percy's frown but went to get the band aid, completely missing how she'd look up once his back was turned, the smallest smile on her lips before she shook it away.
"hey, so, i heard you're killer with a bow and i could use some tips," he'd try again, running to catch up with her and plastering a dopey smile on his lips.
"kayla's better. i'll set you up for training with her."
"w-what? no, that's alright-"
"i thought you wanted to get better?" the girl questioned, raising a brow at him and glancing over out of the corner of her eye.
he deflated for a moment before sucking in a breath.
"sounds good. thanks."
it wasn't that kayla was a terrible teacher or anything, percy's heart just wasn't in it.
"what's with the pout? you're getting better," kayla told percy as they sat down for a break, percy shrugging as he took a sip of his water.
"it's nothing."
"...she likes those orange chocolates. the ones you that look like oranges and you have to smash apart," kayla admitted with a sigh, crossing her arms and giving percy a pointed look as he choked out his water.
"w-what?! who? i don't even-"
"don't lie to me. apollo, god of truth, remember?"
"okay, you've got me." percy admitted as he hung his head, his cheeks burning
"i know. just...be gentle with her. and travis should be able to sneak the candy into camp for you."
"i have no intentions of hurting her. i've heard...about stuff. she didn't deserve that. thanks, by the way," percy replied as he jumped up, eager to track down the son of hermes.
"anytime, jackson."
a few days later and travis slid percy the goods during breakfast.
his excitement was growing as he approached the standoffish daughter of apollo, who was basking in the sun at the edge of the forest.
"hey, y/n! didn't think i'd see anyone out here," percy started, feigning ignorance as he took a seat next to her, feeling the blazing sun tickle his skin.
he tried not to think about her father watching this happen
"it's pretty quiet out here. or it was," the girl murmured, shooting a pointed look at percy.
"my bad. let me make it up to you," offered percy, holding up the chocolate orange and watching her eyes instantly brighten in excitement
"oh my gods!! that's my favorite chocolate of, like, all time!" she squealed and percy decided in that moment that he'd give an arm and leg to have her that excited every day.
"really?? no way, it's one of my favorites too!!" he lied.
he'd never had it before and even if he had, the chocolates his mom brought home would always be his favorite.
so, the two split the chocolate orange and percy had to act like he enjoyed it even though he hated every bite
like a gentleman, and totally not because he didn't want it, he gave her the last slice
there was a call of y/n's name, something about being needed in the infirmary.
she shared a look with percy, something close to panic in her eyes and he had a feeling he knew why
the last person she got close to like this hurt her and she didn't want to feel that pain ever again
"you know, it's not supposed to be painful. it doesn't have to be," he muttered, seemingly out of nowhere, but they both knew.
she took a few moments to contemplate and she only broke out of thought because of the calling of her name again.
"let's grab breakfast tomorrow and go from there," she whispered, nodding her head like she was confirming to herself too.
when she looked back at the boy, she saw a smile brighter than any sunbeam her father could produce
and she fell just a little bit more in love with him
"can't wait," percy replied, more than happy with baby steps. baby steps still meant they were going forwards
then, unexpectedly, the girl shot forwards and press her lips to his cheek
it seemed to have surprised her too as her eyes were wide when she pulled back and scampered away to the infirmary with promises of tomorrow
and percy was more than willing to wait, as he walked around camp with what looked like a chocolate kiss on his cheek for the rest of the day
#postcards from covey ౨ৎ#all my love ౨ৎ#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo fandom#percy jackson x reader
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Never Ever
Summary - Azriel consols his son after a nightmare.
A/N - This is part of the Ocean Eyes Series
Azriel has gown accustom to the quiet in Velaris.
The little home out in the countryside was especially quiet, with the moon hanging high in the sky amongst the clouds and the grass softly swaying in the wind, Azriel loved this kind of quiet. He was accustomed to frogs bellowing from the river not too far away, or the faint hum of fireflies that were dancing along the tops of the herbs in the garden behind the cottage. He was used to it now, and he would prefer this over the sterile silence of the Illyrian camps or even in the city of Velaris.
This was one of the very few nights he was home. Most of the time he would work late or until around dinner time, Rhysand needing his Spymaster duties more frequently than ever before. With the improved relationship with Autumn Court getting better by the day, Eris was still a targeting threat to Night Court. He knew that threats he had two times against Azriel and his family, so The Autumn Prince has been quiet for the last few months or so. Azriel still kept his shadows busy with intel from Eris.
He had no trust in Eris, and he wouldn’t anytime soon.
You were helping Nesta and Cassian at the House of Wind, Nesta being so close to her due date that she was restricted to her bed until it was time to give birth. Madja had to be stern with her, knowing Nesta was a stubborn fae. She was convinced though, Cassian staying by her side to give her plenty of rest and preparation for their new title bundle of joy. You were more than willing to help, making plenty of herbs for her and prepping plenty of great meals for herself and Cassian to enjoy. It meant that you were the one staying out a bit later in the night, and Azriel would be on cottage duty.
Of course, Alec missed his mother being around. When he wasn’t attending school in the mornings in Velaris, he would be at home or on a playdate with Nyx. Azriel could tell he was missing you from time to time when you’d be helping his Aunt Nesta. He was good at hiding his feelings, even with the faint signs of his shadows humming against his small backside, Alec never wanted to show that he wanted his mother. It pained Azriel to see his son trying to hide his feelings, but then again he had to do the same when he was young.
Azriel made it a point to change that with Alec.
He had finished the last of the dishes to let them air dry when he first felt it along his shadows. Movement, very close by, making him pause from his actions. It wasn’t a negative sense so to speak, but something familiar. Something warm, not a threat, and nothing dangerous. He knew that feeling, and the next thing he heard was one of the floorboards creaking from very little weight.
Lastly, he heard a sniffle. Instantly he turned, knowing who it was within an instant.
Alec, in his pajamas, and massive tears on his cheeks.
“D-d-daddy,” He hiccuped.
Azriel was gliding over within an instant and scooping him up within his arms. Alec clung to him, his face digging into his father’s neck so his father could feel the tears hitting his shirt. It broke his heart to see Alec in tears, a sweet young boy who would never hurt fly and would light up his tiresome day. Azriel also knew his heart was tender, so tender and consumed with love, so there would be times when it would break or shatter.
All Azriel could do was pick up those pieces and mend his heart.
“What’s wrong, Alec? You wanna tell me?” Azriel asked him in a soothing tone, rubbing his back with his knuckles as he walked them over to the couch to sit. Alec was hiccuping in his lap, his fingers clinging to Azriel’s shirt too tight as Azriel kept cooing at him, “I got you, okay? You’re safe with me,”
“I-I had a b-b-bad dream,” Alec mumbled into his shirt, sniffling a bit.
“I’m sorry, buddy. Nightmares are simply scary dreams. But that’s all they are: dreams. Nothing real, okay?” Azriel reminded his son, who nodded his head rapidly as he moved his head to look up at his other. His bright eyes were almost illuminated, and the tears on his cheeks were evident.
“I didn’t l-l-like the dream though, Daddy,” he explained, Azriel hummed and pushed his tears away gently with his thumbs.
“I know you didn’t, buddy. You wanna tell me about it?” He asked his son, he bit his lower lip for a brief moment as his father waited patiently. It was one of the traits Ariel loved about his son: always in deep thought.
“You and momma weren’t there,” Alec explained, Azriel watching his son’s piercing blue eyes start to mist again as he was looking at his fingers that were fiddling in his lap, “I was lost and I tried to find you, and momma. But I couldn’t find you, and I..I g-g-ot—“
Azriel tucked him into a hug again as Alec sniffled and blinked out a few more tears. Azriel knew his son loved being around his parents, he had a sense of safety with you and Azriel. It was one of the main goals Azriel had: to make his son feel loved and safe. It wasn’t that Alec was insanely introverted, he had friends at his school and a wonderful relationship with his cousin Nyx. Alec would rather be around his big loving family than anywhere else. The last thing Azriel would ever want is for his son to not feel safe at any time.
“My sweet boy,” Azriel hummed into his son’s hair while he rubbed Alec’s back soothingly with the tips of his fingers, “You should never be afraid of being alone. You will never be alone, okay? Your momma and I will never ever leave you alone,”
Azriel heard his son sniffle a bit, then pausing before speaking in a mere murmur, “Never?”
He had to smile against his son’s black locks, hearing the small inkling of hope in his son’s tone, “Never ever. You’re our son, Alec Rhysand, and we love and adore you too much to leave you alone,”
It seemed to do the trick since Azriel could no longer hear Alec crying or sniffling too much. But he was still holding onto his father, not as tightly but possessively. He finally sat back up, Azriel seeing how he was a bit calmer and sleep was evident on his face and under his eyes. He grinned, “How about I tuck you back into bed, okay?”
“Mmkay, and daddy?” Alec asked tentatively.
“Yeah, Alec?”
“I miss momma,”
Azriel heard the pain in his voice from those three words, which broke his heart a bit. He knew Alec loved his mother and wanted to be around her constantly. You were an exceptional mother to Alec, you knew just how to shower him with love and still be firm at the same time when it was needed. But the best thing that you did, in Azriel’s opinion at least, was make Alec feel like the most important Illryian throughout the land.
It was as if you were born to be a mother. Azriel firmly believed that.
“I know, buddy. I miss her too,” Azriel agreed, standing up with Alec in his arms as Alec’s head was snuggled on his shoulder with his eyes blinking slowly and a yawn on his lips, “However, if I know your momma, she should be back very soon. But right now she’s helping Aunt Nesta, remember?”
“Helping her before she has the baby?” Alec asked as Azriel walked down the hallway back to Alec’s little bedroom.
“That’s right. Your momma wants to help her before the baby comes, and that means she has to be away for a bit. But not forever,” Azriel reassured his son as he made it to the door that was left ajar that led into Alec’s room.
“I hope not forever,” Alec mumbled, yawning again as Azriel chuckled and poked his head into the small room. Alec’s bed was tucked against the wall and by a window that looked out into the open meadow, Velaris not too far away along with the massive mountains. His dresser was in the closet that had his clothes and small trinkets sitting on the top. The walls were painted in tints of purple and blue to reflect the night sky, all thanks to Aunt Feyre, and plenty of toys that were tucked into a beautiful wooden toy chest with his name engraved on the top, a generous gift from his Uncle Rhysand.
Azriel walked his son across the room, dodging the wooden sword that Alec got as a Winter Solstice gift from Cassian last year and then placing his son back in bed. Alec snuggled into the bed as Azriel tucked the blanket up and around his arms. Azriel could see that he was beyond sleepy, rubbing his eyes with his fingers and trying to stay awake as his head was sinking into the plush pillow, “Tomorrow we can go to the harbor. You, me, and momma. How does that sound?”
Alec lit up a bit from the suggestion, his smile infectious as he nodded his head, “Mmkay, Daddy. I wanna get a present for Nesta’s baby too,”
“You want to get a gift?” Azriel asked, almost in a bit of shock as Alec nodded his head again.
“Mmhmm. Maybe a stuffy like my owl, so that if the baby gets sad, the stuffy will help,” He suggested, his voice showing signs of slumber and his eyes starting to drift close with ease. Azriel was immensely proud of his son, seeing how big his heart was even when he was missing his mother and experiencing a nightmare.
“That sounds like a great idea, Alec. Now, let’s get some sleep, okay? I’ll make sure momma comes in to give you a kiss when she gets home, okay?” Azriel asked him as Alec held his stuffed owl in his tiny arms.
“Okay, Daddy. Night night,” Alec replied, letting out one more big yawn before his eyes drifted closed.
“Goodnight, buddy. I love you,” Azriel hummed against his head, pressing one more kiss against his dark locks. He then got up from the bed, about to walk out of the bedroom and close the door behind him when he heard a soft sound from the bed.
“Love you too, daddy,”
Azriel turned back and looked, seeing Alec drifting back to sleep with a soft smile. Once again, Azriel had to pause and drink in his life: to anyone else, it would be seen as mundane or ordinary. Not to him, not to the Spymaster who went through torment and pain as a youngster and always had to have people arm's length away. He saw death head-on and fought back, he’s seen fae and other beings die around him as he went on, and he always assumed he wouldn’t have a simple life or that the simple life would fulfill him.
He was wrong. This life was the only life he would ever want and need.
As he turned off the light and closed the door, with the moonlight dancing along his son’s sleeping face, Azriel considered himself a lucky Illryian for this life. He no longer had to rely on fear or brutality as other Illryians did, nor did he have to be uncertain if he would ever be happy. He was beyond happy, happy with a mate who loved him with all his flaws, happy that he had a found family who brought him out of darkness and doubt, and most importantly, happy with his son who saw Azriel as his world and more.
The next morning Azriel noticed that your side of the bed was still untouched, which made him slightly panic. But your jacket was hung on the back of a chair, as well as your messenger bag you would take. That made him confused as he got up from bed and ruffled his hair. Anytime either one of you would come in late, you would notify each other. Azriel couldn’t recall hearing you whisper to him last night or getting a kiss on the cheek, yet your things were in the room.
He poked his head into Alec’s room, seeing an adorable and loving sight as you cradled your son in your arms and the pair of you sleeping in Alec’s bed. Your wings drooped over the side of the small bed, Alec snoring away as his head was on your chest fast asleep while you too were in deep sleep with your arms tucked around him. With the early morning sun rays dancing in the room to brighten the space, it felt peaceful and almost tranquil in a way.
Azriel had to grin: the two most important beings in his life were sleeping together.
The End.
tagged - @valeridarkness @impossibelle @acourtofbatboydreams @prettylittlewrites @fxckmiup
#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel x you#Azriel#acotar fanfiction#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#a court of mist and fury#a court of silver flames#azriel spymaster#azriel x oc#azriel fanfic#azriel acotar#fanfiction#writing#daddyazriel#daddyazrielandalec#azriel x female reader#acomar#acowar
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𝐜𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐫
1.3k | just for fun since it’s blizzarding here rn
The wind blustered against the cracked windshield. Sending waves of sleet and snow against the van, hitting like gravel against the tin body.
He silently curses himself for not getting the windshield fixed before winter came. A huffed breath drags from him, little puffs of frigid air in the cold interior of the van, as he attempts to blow warmth to his chilled to the bone fingers. Aching from the repetitive motions from work.
Eddie’s life didn’t end up how he had planned. The rockstar gig was nothing more than that— a gig. One show maybe two a month at the hideout, a small little escape into the world he once was determined to get to.
But life had other plans for him. Things he never saw coming.
The sharp right turn into Forest Hills was blanketed by thick drifts of snow, covering the usual pot holes. Still he avoided them anyway— the last thing he needed was a blown tire in this weather.
Forecast called for “1-3 inches” but what the stuck up weather man didn’t predict was the wind.
The wind brought with it freezing temperatures, a high of barely four degrees. He called Wayne on his break, telling him he’d stop by after work and shovel his pickup out so he could make his shift tonight, but Wayne only grunted and told Eddie he was perfectly capable of doing it himself, just to get home safe.
The ill maintained roads were horrible, his tires slid and skid anytime he tapped the brakes or eased on the gas pedal, making the usual ten minute drive home turn into twenty, then thirty.
He was crabby, hungry and itching for a cigarette, but the gas stations were closed for the upcoming storm, leaving an itch in his jaw that drove him mad.
Anything and everything that could go wrong in one day had. Equipment broke, most of the shift hadn’t shown up due to the storm causing him to work in place of two other jobs on top of his own. The lunch he brought was left in the van by mistake after hurrying to get punched in when his alarm hadn’t gone off.
And now throwing the van in park he realized he never turned the lights off in his rushed attempt to make it to work on time.
Punching the steering wheel he curses again, the light bill would be outrageous next month.
The van door was stuck, probably frozen from the outside, and he shoved his shoulder into the frame to try to loosen it enough so he could get out. The wind hit him like a freight train, stealing his breath and pelting his face, chapping his cheeks red and ruddy.
Rage filled his lungs as his sweat soaked bandana started to feel like a frozen sheet of ice on his head. Crunching his curls into icicles.
The cold air seeped through his jeans, and he shivered when his boots sunk into the snow. Dropping his keys three separate times into the snow, Eddie yelled into the night.
And if he weren’t so mad he might have noticed a set of footprints leading from your trailer to his.
He might have heard the radio buzzing about the incoming bad weather.
He might have smelled a delicious slurry of cooked meat, beans and tomatoes boiling on the stove.
The front door was frozen too, and when he finally jimmied the handle and flung the door open, he nearly burst into tears.
The place is spotless.
Ashtrays were emptied and sparkling like the countertops, the heap of clothes on top of his washer were folded and put away. A candle is lit on the table. You must have brought your own vacuum over because his hasn’t worked since the 70s.
The small patch of linoleum under his feet was swept, his other pair of work boots and shoes were lined up neatly against the wall. A new rag thread utility rug was also underfoot.
His eyes brimmed hot with tears at the sight of his clean house, and you, standing at the stove with a wooden spoon to your lips.
“Hi! Made a cobbler with that jar of peaches from Joyce Byers,” you chirp, pulling the oven door open and placing the dessert dish onto the potholders, “I know it’s not the season for it but it just sounded so good.”
It wasn’t your mess and you shouldn’t have to clean up after a grown man. But you do, and Eddie is more than grateful for your caring heart, for how sweet you are to him even on days he wants nothing more than to rot on the couch and feel sorry for himself.
His eyes soften, and before you can ask him how his day was, he’s grabbing your cheeks with ice cold hands, bringing his frigid mouth to the warmth of your temple before kissing the tomatoey stain from your lips.
He sighs into you, his body releasing all the pent up anger and pain from the day. Solace of your arms melted away the glacial cold from within him.
The kisses don’t stop, and you have to lean back to turn the stove off in hopes that the chili doesn’t burn before you can eat it.
His cold nose nudges down your neck, kissing the chain he placed there a year ago, one you never took off. He mumbles into your skin and his stomach groans with emptiness.
“Let’s get you fed big boy,” you mouth against his sweaty curls, and he happily obliges.
After he places the last bite of chili from his bowl into your mouth, you drag him to the shower.
Rinsing the shampoo from his curls and warming his still cold skin with your body. The heat from his tongue lapping at your skin, and something else prominently making itself known on the cheek of your ass.
“Didn’t have to do all of that, baby,” he murmurs into your ear, fingers slowing working soap into your skin.
“Wanted to, I love you Eds.”
You’ve said it many times before, never once pressuring him into saying it back if he wasn’t ready. A life full of shitty people, it was hard for him to open up, but you opened something up in him that he hadn’t felt before, and he couldn’t get enough of you.
Tangled limbs climb from the shower, skin barely rinsed and wet tendrils of hair hang down each of your necks. Your lips still taste like chili, and he still smells like work, but neither of you care.
Lips smack together and skin is left hickied and sweaty. Elbows and knees are rubbed raw from the itchy sheets on his bed, his hair is drying into a mess from your fingers lacing through it, your breath making the curls go frizzy when he pulls you into him and rocks your body against his sat cock.
Pulling sugary noises from you again, and again, he finally says it there. Chin between your legs, your orgasm dripping wet from his lips.
You sit up to see him, not sure if you heard.
He says it again, liking the way it sounds, something he had been scared of saying for a long time, but he always knew he did.
A single tear slips down his cheek and it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen, the cobbler would sit untouched until tomorrow, Eddie having found a sweeter dessert to indulge in, love.
#eddie munson#eddie x fem!reader#eddie x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#stranger things#eddie fan fiction#eddie fanfic
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hi mae !!! i’ve been resding ur stuff for forever & if this request doesnt strike ur fancy i just wanted to at least say that!!! but i would love love love anything you have to say about steve harrington comforting his s/o (maybe shy!reader?? but no pressure on that) after a very tough emotional few weeks? like yknow those weeks that just knock you down & then stomp on you a little & have you saying “it’ll get better if i can just get through the week” but then the next week comes and it’s just as 🕳️🤸 as the last ? idk if this makes sense but ik u wanted more requests w our other boyfriends !!
Hi lovely, thank you for requesting!
Steve Harrington x shy!reader ♡ 791 words
You’ve been trying not to cry for about a month now, and this stupid movie is going to do you in. Steve’s got his arm splayed across the top of the couch, his features lit in the colors of the TV screen and revealing only a vague sympathy for the characters in the movie as opposed to the steady crescendo of emotion that’s building behind your eyes.
You turn from him so he won’t see your heating complexion and do your best to hold it in. You hold it until you can feel your heart beating in your sinuses. Steve’s fingers start toying with your hair, and it feels so ridiculously casual and tender that it only makes matters worse.
You must make some sort of sound, because then he’s shifting beside you. His eyes burn into the side of your head.
“Hey.” His voice is quiet, unsure. “You okay?”
You breathe in through your nose, swallowing hard. “Yeah.”
“Are you crying?”
“No,” you say. But you are now, properly, and your denial is completely undermined by the wobble in its delivery.
“You are,” Steve accuses, letting his hand drop onto your shoulder just as it gives its first great hitch. He tenses. “Hey, it’s okay. We can change the channel.”
You let loose a horrid laugh, wet and pitchy. “No,” you tell him, finally breaking and wiping underneath your eyes. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to upset you.” He grabs the remote. His tone has gone serious and a bit panicky. “We’ll find something lighter to watch.”
“It’s not the movie.” You turn towards him and he pauses, frozen like a rabbit in the forest. “It’s just…it’s a lot of things, you know?”
Everything about Steve melts. His shoulder sag, the hand with the remote dropping into his lap, his lips part, he slouches towards you a bit, his eyebrows pull up and to the middle. “Yeah,” he says, soft and smooth as butter. “Yeah, I get that.”
You try to smile, making fun of your own ill-timed meltdown, but another sob breaks free from you again. Steve slumps further. If you keep going like this, you’ll shatter into a million pieces and he’ll liquefy into a stain on the couch and that’s all Robin will find of either of you when she inevitably comes looking.
“It’s okay.” Steve’s hand makes its way from his lap into yours, taking your hand and squeezing your fingers lightly. “You’re okay, you’re good.”
And you know you are, but it feels nice to hear him say it. Your shoulders shake, and you tilt your head downwards, salty tears dripping off your nose.
“Sorry,” you croak out, but he only brings his other hand to your face, angling you up where he can see you.
“I don’t mind,” he promises. When his thumb sweeps an arc from the side of your nose nearly to your ear, you shudder.
Steve’s brows twitch together, but he doesn’t alter his grip.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, what is it?”
“It’s just…” Just that you short-circuit anytime he touches you, and right now your body doesn’t know where to put the excess emotion. You think if he pays you any more attention you’ll have a heart attack. Cause of death: Steve Harrington’s tender ministrations. “Sorry, nothing.”
His forehead creases as his thumb brushes once more, feather light, under your eye, and then his expression clears. Because though intuitive Steve is not, he’s perceptive enough to catch your unintentional glance to where his hand rests upon your cheek.
“Oh, sorry.” He stills, eyes flickering back to yours. “Hey, if you want me to stop, I’ll stop. Just say the word.”
And you have to think, because it is torment, and it might actually kill you. But at least this way you’ll die happy.
“That’s okay,” you murmur. “It’s nice.”
A little smile curves Steve’s lips before he remembers you’re sad and tries to squash it. You feel something similar tugging at your mouth anyway.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
You sniffle. “I don’t think so. I’m just kind of tired of it, you know?” He looks like he does. “Maybe we could just keep watching the movie?”
“Yeah, sure honey.” The endearment slips out as if it’s something he says every day, and Steve’s demeanor doesn’t reflect anything different. For your part, you feel a buzzing in your chest so intense you wonder if you’ll disintegrate into tiny pieces. He scoots closer to you on the couch, settling an arm around your shoulders and leaning you into his side. “Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” he asks quietly, like it’s a secret.
You rest your head on his shoulder and say nothing.
#steve harrington#shy!reader#steve harrington x shy!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x self insert#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fandom#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#steve harrington hurt/comfort#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington scenario#steve harrington drabble#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington oneshot#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fic#stranger things fandom#stranger things x reader
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⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆
Kim Seungmin/female reader
requested by hydratedhydro!
wc: 1k
rating: fluff (Seungmin wants to have your babies)
Seungmin ran off and left you to fend for yourself at this birthday party. It’s only been a five minutes, but still—all you can do now is sit awkwardly and wait for him to return.
-
It’s a little crowded. You’re not sure if that’s good or bad: more people means less attention directed toward you. Less people, well, they might notice you sitting here.
You don’t even really know anyone here. Everyone you do know well enough is with Seungmin right now.
A few moments later, you relax. You see him appear across the room, but he’s not breaking away. In fact, he and IN all together seem perfectly comfortable with the conversation they’ve kicked up. Or they were pulled into.
You narrow your eyes at him and hope he can feel it, but he doesn’t even glance your way.
“Hello!”
You don’t pay attention at first. It’s an unfamiliar voice, and why would anyone be talking to you anyway?
“May we sit here?”
Now you break free of your trance and look to your left. You don’t recognize her, but a young woman is standing over you. Her face is sweet and her arms are very, very full.
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry.”
You stupidly set your bag and phone on the seat next to you, so you snatch it up and make her more space.
“I saw you come in with Seungmin, are you two good friends?”
Your face heats up and you hesitate for a brief moment, “yes, we are good friends.”
“I knew him when he was just a kid. He’s grown up so much.”
You’re listening to her, but your attention is on the baby she’s carrying now. She’s young, just a few months old. Her eyes are open and searching the space in front of her.
“This is Haneul.” Her mother says and moves the blanket from around her face. “This is her first time at a party, but I’m not sure how she likes it yet.
“She seems content.”
“You don’t look like you’re having much fun. Where did your date run off to?”
———
Seungmin has his back to you. He hasn’t forgotten you’re sitting back there alone, but the conversation they’ve gotten into has been difficult to get out of.
He turns his head and scans the room, casually, until his eyes land on you. He’s relieved to see you speaking to someone else besides him. The entire night has been spent worrying about whether or not you’ll have any fun at all. He knows you prefer being alone with him.
For a moment, he turns away, but IN has been staring along with you, and he hasn’t stopped.
“Does she like babies?” He smiles and nudges Seungmin.
“I’m not sure…,” he looks your way, and right at that moment, the little one is carefully handed off to you. “We haven’t talked about it.” He feels a little drop in his stomach. Seungmin wants kids, but having them anytime soon is not really in his plan.
The sight of you is giving him second thoughts, though.
IN giggles, “I think she does.”
———
You stand with her when she starts to fuss, and that does the trick. Haneul likes to be walked around, like most babies do, so you do a few laps back and forth near your seat, just until she settles again.
You’ve visited the daycare floor a few times at work. Very rarely. You like it up there, though. You’re making a mental note to visit more often.
When you glance in the direction of Seungmin, you see him watching you. He smiles, but doesn’t move. You smile and try to pull him back with your eyes, but it doesn’t work. He’s looks back at his group every so often, because they keep pulling him back in, but you’re pretty sure you have most of his attention now. He just doesn’t want to be rude.
IN is leaning to talk to him, nudging him a little further away each time. You appreciate it, and you’ll have to remember to thank him for that.
———
He still can’t get away, but he hopes you know that he’s trying.
When the conversation finally seems to slow down, and IN successfully pushes him an awkward distance away, Seungmin excuses himself. And just when he turns to face you again, you’re handing the baby back to her mother.
It takes a moment, though, because you’re still talking to her—your finger is clenched in her tiny hand. You’re not ready to give her up yet, but you know you have to.
Seungmin sees her let go when he’s halfway to you. You can tell he’s pouting a little as he gets closer and closer.
For a moment you just stand there and look at each other.
“You missed the baby,” you reach to touch his wrist, and he grabs your hand.
“I saw you, though.” Seungmin leans forward and places a kiss on your forehead. “That was good enough.”
“She was very cute.”
“As cute as our babies?” He pulls you close to say it softly, but he’s still not sure if the sweet moment with the baby was just you being friendly. Maybe that was too much.
He says it like it’s the most normal, casual comment of the night. You know he likes and wants kids, he just doesn’t know that you know about that part of him. But you have ways of finding out. What catches you off guard is that, yes, he wants them with you. It might be the most serious thing he’s ever said to you, regarding your relationship. He doesn’t open up very much.
“No, not that cute.” You wonder if he notices how shaky your voice is now.
Mhmm his lips move softly across your ear. “So, you do—?”
“Yeah, if that’s what you want…someday.”
“Someday?”
“Hopefully.”
#requests#hydratedhydro#kim seungmin#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin x y/n#seungmin x reader#seungmin x y/n#seungmin x you#skz fluff#skz seungmin#kim seungmin fluff#seungmin fluff#stray kids fluff#stray kids fanfic
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snow angel - track two
series masterlist // previous // next
2 YEARS AGO
i'll fucking fight him. i swear it.
no honey, you don't have to.
i saw this coming.
how on earth could you see this coming?
he was distant.
i've told him i loved him for days and he always responded me "me too" or worse he said nothing back
oh sweetie
how did you put up with that? you deserve so much better.
it's okay. i'm moving out of our apartment tonight. ryan said i can stay with him for a few weeks.
i love him lily. i don’t know when those feelings will go away. i hope they go away soon. i can’t keep loving someone who hurt me this bad.
i promise you i’ll fight him when i see him in bahrain next season.
i hope he dnfs
i hope you write a fucking day destroying album because of this. he will never know peace
oh lily, i'm going to ruin his fucking life with whatever i come with.
lily muni he removed lando norris
lily muni he fuck that guy
charles leclerc i do not understand what happened?
george russell you're telling me the chronically online guy doesn't know what just happened?
alex albon the grid's #1 gossip girl doesn't know what happened?
charles leclerc NO I DON'T KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING CONNARDS!
pierre gasly lando cheated on rhea
max verstappen i can crash into him in bahrain next season?
yuki tsunoda i will bite his ankles.
lily muni he i'll poison his food
yuki tsunoda we will not go that far. food is sacred.
esteban ocon does this mean that **** can finally **** ***?
lance stroll how about you shut the fuck up esteban?
max verstappen what the fuck are you two going on about now?
lance stroll ignore esteban. he's a bit delirious.
daniel ricciardo i promise to make his life miserable next year.
rhea reynolds i'm just pissed that he was too much of a coward to end our relationship before he went on to publicly cheat on me.
rhea reynolds at least try to not get caught.
charles leclerc what is it the kids say? he fumbled?
lance stroll please never use that phrase again
pierre gasly she's probably crying to taylor swift now
rhea reynolds LET ME BE PEAR GASLY!
daniel ricciardo yeah, pierre let the girl be emotional!
rhea reynolds if i'm crying to all too well that's nobody's business but mine
charles leclerc you can come to bahrain with me!
max verstappen or me!
daniel ricciardo you're both thinking too small. show up with me. can't promise i'll have a good race or win but it'll show him!
rhea reynolds thanks guys but i'm not really up to going to races anytime soon.
lily muni he never let a man take anything from you. GO TO THE RACE!
rhea reynolds nah, not really up for it right now but i could change my mind in a few months. it's literally december!
charles leclerc i will save a spot for you regardless.
yukitsunoda it's okay, i can bite his ankles if he comes near you.
rhea reynolds i appreciate the sentiment yuki
rhea reynolds besides, i'll never date another fucking driver again.
rheareynolds posted new stories
nothing better than taylor swift to help with heartbreak
who needs men when cats are much better company?
liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others
rheareynolds home for the holidays update: i adopted a cat, i got cheated on (i should stick to dating women), and goats hate ryan. p.s. the first picture is what i sent to max when he made fun of me for getting cheated on.
tagged: vancityreynolds
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maxverstappen33 THAT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!
↳ rheareynolds you told me and i quote, “that’s what you get for dating a guy who looks like a walking orange.”
↳ maxverstappen33 i called him ernie and then a walking orange. get it right.
lilymhe my offer still stands
↳ yukitsunoda0511 mine too! i can bite ankles!
↳ rheareynolds thanks guys but i'd rather not have to bail you out of jail for assault.
user01 so did they break up? or what? the chismosa in me needs to know
user02 it's okay rhea, he didn't deserve you
user03 fuck men, am i right?
comment liked by rheareynolds
vancityreynolds you're lying to everyone blake made those cinnamon rolls, not you.
↳ rheareynolds must you ruin everything?
↳ vancityreynolds it's my job as your older brother.
georgerussell63 why get an orange cat when he's a walking orange?
↳ alex_albon because rhea is the embodiment of an orange cat
↳ rheareynolds it's true. i've been told many times
user04 love to see that loser's friends are on her side. how are you going to publicly cheat on your girlfriend?
↳ user05 but did he cheat? what if they were broken up?
↳ user06 either you can't read (no offense) or you didn't read the caption, she literally says, "i got cheated on" they were very much together. stop trying to invalidate her pain because you love l*ndo
user07 it's okay baby, you can date me instead
↳ rheareynolds thanks for the offer babes but i should stick to being single for a while ❤️
↳ user07 i'm screaming!
user08 rhea's better than me fr. i would've destroyed his car carrie underwood style.
maxfretwell going to miss your cookies. that's the worst part about all of this
↳ rheareynolds yeah cause fuck my heartbreak right?
↳ maxfretwell that's not what i meant and you know it!
↳ rheareynolds can't wait to see the gossip pages say max fretwell says rhea reynolds' heartbreak is not validated
↳ maxfretwell i take it all back this is why he cheated on you
↳ rheareynolds TOO SOON FRETWELL!
↳ user09 curse n*rris for taking this duo away from us!
taglist: @emilyval @ihateyougunthersteiner @lesliiieeeee @firetruckstuckley @cashtons-wife @landonorizzz @yoremins
strikethrough means i couldn't tag you
CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST
¡leclerc-s speaks!
i was listening to say don't go while write the first half of this. hence, the reference to the song.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
#leclerc-s#snow angel series#f1 instagram au#f1 x oc#f1 oc#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1#formula one#f1 fic#formula 1 fic#f1 x female oc#lando norris x female oc#mick schumacher x female oc
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My Sweet Girl
Pairing: Minho x Reader
Warnings: Soft Dom Minho, Praise (lots of it from Minho), First time having sex with Minho, vanilla sex with Minho pretty much, Minhos just a sweetheart
Note: Inspiration was from @whatudowhennooneseesyou because there isn't much smut that isn't just soft sex (even though I write mostly hard sex).
You came home from work like you always do. Kicking your shoes off at the door setting your jacket down. You made your way to the living room seeing your boyfriend on the couch. He's currently in the middle of reading the book you had bought him a few days ago. The glasses he had sitting on his face outlined his features well.
He must have not heard you enter too entranced by the book. You decide to get his attention to throw yourself on top of him which pretty much knocks the breath out of him.
"You know you're currently squishing me and the book." He says and you smile at him.
"Lee Minho. I am not squishing you. You literally had me lie on your chest last night." You tell him and he laughs.
"Can you at least lean up so I can move the book?" He asks you and you do as he says as he moves the book from under you and placing it on your shared coffee table.
He wraps his arms around you as you lean against his chest.
"How was work love?" He asks you as you look at him and he looks down at you.
"It was okay. Nothing good or nothing bad happened." You say and he nods understanding.
"I missed you though." You tell him and he smiles.
"Who wouldn't? I mean I'm Lee Minho" He says and you pinch his side while he laughs.
"Okay okay. I missed you too. So. Freaking. Much." He says placing kisses on your face with his last few words.
He smiles at you and you smile back at him. His glasses are trying to fall off his face so you bring a hand up to his face pushing them back onto his face.
Before you can pull your hand away he grabs it bringing it to his lips. He kisses your hand and you smile at the sweet gesture. After he intertwines your fingers.
"So I was thinking." Minho says and you raise an eyebrow at him.
"That's never a good thing." You say causing him to smile and roll his eyes.
"I know we haven't had sex yet, much less talked about it but I want you to know I'm ready. I don't know if you're ready but when you are I'm ready. I can wait however long you want me to. Today, Tomorrow, Next Week, Next Month, Next year, anytime really. I want it to be special for you." He says and your heart can't help but melt at his words.
Minho was a sweetheart. Quick to love you and experience everything with you at your own pace. You've been thinking about it for weeks now not knowing how to bring it up. "What if I want to now?" You ask him and he raises an eyebrow.
"I want it to be special for you like I said. I don't want it to be because you know I'm ready. I want you to be 110% sure." He says bringing his other hand that isn't intertwined with yours to your face. You lean into his touch and it brings you comfort.
"I'm not doing it for you. I want this. I've been wanting to I just didn't know how to tell you." You tell him and he smiles.
"Then I won't keep you waiting." He says kissing your lips. The kiss is slow and filled with passion. Minho takes his time kissing you and you didn't mind it.
His hands go to your waist as Minho doesn't break from the kiss. He brings you to sit on him.
He pulls away so he can pull your shirt above your head and onto the ground. He takes a second staring at you. "Gorgeous." He says kissing your lips again. Minho always made you feel gorgeous, like you were one of a kind, and to him you were. There wasn't anyone else that could compare to you in his eyes.
Your hands go to his shirt and Minho breaks the kiss again. "Want this off?" He asks you referring to his shirt and you nod. He lifts his shirt up and over his head. Minhos body was always gorgeous to you. Everything about Minho was gorgeous.
"Is it okay if I take this off?" He says hands at your pants and you nod. Minho pulls the pants down your legs and they also find place on the ground.
"You're so perfect." Minho says pecking your lips once again.
You can't help but feel your chest swarm with love at his compliment. Your hand goes to his face and he sighs at the warm feeling of your hands against his skin. Your hands go to his glasses and take them off his face.
Minho smiles at you as you place them on the coffee table.
You can't help but admire him and he lets you. Minho had felt the exact way staring back at you with a smile. "You're so pretty." You tell him and he laughs at your compliment.
"Thank you baby. Means a lot from you." He says grabbing your hand and bringing it to his mouth and kissing your knuckles. It was a sweet moment even though you were half naked.
He lets go of your hand and you smile down at him and can't help but lean in for a kiss. Minho doesn't hesitate to kiss you back. You pull away and he smiles once again at you.
Your hands go to the grey sweatpants that were currently sitting on his hips and Minho brings his own hands to them as you lift up so he can pull them down. "Sweet girl." Minho says and you kiss him again as you go back to sitting on him.
His hands make their way to your bra and he gently unclips it. You sigh against his mouth and lean up. Minho can't help but bring his hands to your boobs and massage them causing you to sigh and let out a moan.
"You're so gorgeous. My sweet girl." Minho says and you can feel him harden against your leg but he does nothing about it too focused on your own pleasure right now. He lets go of your boobs and his hands go to your underwear.
"Can I take these off?" He asks and you nod. You lift up as he brings your panties down onto the ground.
Minhos eyes don't leave your cunt and he can't help it. You were soaked and it was all because of him. You can feel Minho painfully hard in his boxers and you sigh.
Your hand goes to his face and Minho looks at you as if you were delicate and fragile because to him you were. You needed to be taken care of and Minho couldn't help but see you as such.
Your hand caresses his face and he leans into your own touch. "Please Min." You tell him and he nods as you hover over him so he can pull his boxers off.
He aligns himself with your entrance and he grabs your hand. You slowly inch by inch sink onto him, a mixture of yours and his moans fill the air. He's a good stretch and you can't help but love the pain and pleasure you were currently experiencing.
You squeeze his hand as you finally bottom out on him. You lean down and kiss his lips and he kisses back even though he was moaning at the way you clenched around him. Yet Minho does nothing waiting until you're completely adjusted.
You pull away from the kiss and sigh at the way he fit perfectly. His hands find place on your hips and he just keeps them there trying to ground himself.
"You're so gorgeous." Minho says complimenting you and you can't help but love the man even more if that was even possible.
"Can I?" You say voice wavering. Minho nods biting his lip letting you know you could move whenever you wanted.
Your hands go to Minhos chest for balance before you lift off of him almost completely out and then go back down on him as you both moan.
You bounce on Minhos cock as your moans filled the air once again. "So pretty." Minho says in-between moans spurring you on with his comment.
"So perfect. Just for me. My perfect Y/N." He says as you leaned down and kiss him while still bouncing on his cock and yours and Minho's moans are silenced with each other's lips.
It didn't take long though before your arms and legs were starting to hurt and Minho noticed. "Let me take over." He says and you nod his hands on your hips as he flips you under him.
One hand finds place on your hips while the other finds place by your head. Minho starts fucking into you and you can't help but give in completely to the pleasure.
Minhos head goes to your throat kissing it down and up all the way to your lips. Your moans were encouraging Minho to continue along with his own moans.
It didn't take long for you to get close to your orgasm. Your moans were getting louder and you assumed Minho was just as close by the way his own moans were getting louder.
"Going to cum sweet girl?" He asks you through his moans and thrusting. You nod and Minho kisses your lips not relenting his thrusts.
"Go ahead cum." Minho says and with his permission you do exactly that. Minho watches as your eyes roll back and your body arches into him and he doesn't stop his pace as he continues fucking you. He watches as you come down from your high and he knows you're sensitive but he's so close.
"Just a little more okay? I'm close." Minho says and he watches you whine with oversensitivity but you make no complaints.
With a couple more thrusts he pulls out and cums on your stomach. It wasn't exactly the best sight to see but Minho didn't want to take any chances as the warm white liquid landed on your body.
Minho basks in his orgasm a little longer before he looks down at you. Your eyes are heavy and he knows you're tired. He kisses your lips and you open your eyes more.
"Don't sleep just yet. Both of us need to take a bath." He tells you and you nod. He gets up and picks you up bridal style heading towards the bathroom. You're so tired that you let him do whatever he wants to clean you at this point.
He carries you into your shared room before going through yours and his drawers and the closet grabbing clothes for you and him. Yet you shake your head when it comes to your shirt. "Whats wrong?" He asks you lifting your face so your sleepy eyes can see his concerned ones.
"Hoodie." You say and Minho nods understanding and kissing your head before he grabs one of his hoodies in the closet. You tiredly lift your hands and Minho slips his hoodie onto your body.
Minho has just sweatpants on with no shirt and he guides your tired body to the bed. He places you under the blanket and does the same for himself.
You make your way into his chest and cuddle against him while he wraps his hands around you. "My sweet girl." He says kissing your head. "Did you enjoy it?" He asks you and you nod.
"Good." He says as you cuddle against his chest. He presses another kiss to you head and rubs your back soothingly until you finally slip off into your dreams.
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Kinkmas Day 6: Size kink
Pairing: Akaza x male reader
This guy
Warnings: size kink DUH, swearing, sex, reader rides Akaza, pretty fluffy
Word count: 1,237
You were just relaxing in the comfort of your own home when you heard something open, then a cold breeze washed over you, causing a chill to run down your spine. Your body shot right up and OH MY GOD.
No I'm just fucking with you, it was just your big demon friend Akaza.
"Sorry, did I startle you?" He asked, noticing your body shooting up off of your couch. You breath rapidly, clutching your chest from the spook he gave you.
"Oh no, I'm fine." You said, clearly lying. His large body walks closer to you, and you feel a tingle down your neck every time he steps closer. You never get used to his large body, strong muscular arms and abs that he always shows off. His fluffy pink hair that you just yearn to run your hands through, his tattoos that you would love to chase the outlines of with your finger while he's sleeping off a night of heated passion and yes you were absolutely in love with him.
Obviously, he didn't know, though you weren't very secretive about it. Always staring at him a little too long and your touches a little too lasting. You were practically obsessed, and you never really knew if he felt the same way. I mean sure you catch him staring at you all the time, he also always stops over for seemingly no reason, and he cuddles you an awful lot, but that's just what friends do, right? And besides he had wife, but bi and pan people do exist. Huh.
Anygay, back to the his striking yellow eyes staring right into yours.
"You okay?" he questioned, breaking you out of your haze and returning all of your attention back on him.
"I'm swell." You replied, still caught in his large frame, like seriously this mother fucker DWARFS you. His biceps are practically the size of your head, oh and those abs. "So why are you here?" you asked, though you already kind of know, he's probably just here because he felt like it.
"Just felt like it." He answered. Yep, called it. For such an evil demon or whatever he sure is predictable. You plop a seat on the couch and pat the spot next to you.
"Take a seat." you said, finally reacting normally like he was your just a friend, which he was, right? You honestly don't fucking know at this point. He obliges, sitting on the spot you patted.
"So, how's life?" he asked, trying to spark conversation.
"Pretty ok, you?" You questioned back.
"Better now that you're here." He replied, the chuckled after, you roll your eyes. "But really, I am grateful to talk to you."
"You could do that anytime." You stated, surprised by his response. He comes a little closer to you now, to the point where your sides are touching.
"And that's why I'm grateful." He said. This is definitely weird, right?
It's quiet for a while after that, you don't really know how to respond to his sudden declaration of gratitude. It remains that way, silently sitting next to each other, you feel his large arm brush against your own. It remains that way for a while until he SUDDENLY KISSES YOU!
You are completely stunned until finally realizing what's going on, then you kiss him right back. He breaks away,
"I'm sorry if that was uncalled for, I just really needed to." He apologizes, you make it clear to him that it was very warranted by kissing him. He automatically kisses you back, his tongue already in your mouth. His tongue starts to explore your mouth, dancing with yours.
His breaks once again to put you on top of him. You barely fill up his massive lap, once he plops you into his lap, he goes right back to kissing you. Your hands do what they have wished to do for months now, you run your hands through his soft pink hair while his hands go for your plump ass. This causes you to let out a little moan, allowing his tongue to go deeper down your mouth, practically being in the back of your throat now, but kissing isn't enough for him right now.
He takes off his vest, obviously not much changing sense already was shirtless, but he also takes your shirt off. He then goes to removing your pants, but before he can take his own off you stop him. His face is one of confusion until you kneel down right in front of him, taking them off for him. His giant cock springs free, and when I tell you it's giant, I mean GIANT.
You begin to lick the tip, causing small noises to come out of Akaza's mouth, but you have the rest of your life to suck his dick, so you get right back up on your designated place on his lap. He sticks his fingers in your ass, spreading just enough to where his member will probably still rip you in half, but at least this time it won't be instant.
He sticks it in, taking a long-time since he is SO FUCKING BIG. His massive cock splitting you open. After what feels like hours only the tip is in. Tears start to form in the corner of your eyes due to the discomfort.
"Shush baby, it's ok." He assured, though it's awfully hard to believe that. Right when you think that it will never go in, he kisses you deeply and passionately, calming your down enough to where he's able to be balls deep.
You let out a sigh of relief and a yelp of pain from his huge dick moving so much so quickly after not moving at all. Your hands rest on his muscled chest for traction, trying not to feint.
"Just tell me when you are ready." He said, not moving until getting the go from you that it's ok.
"Now." You said, and with that he puts hands on your ass and begins to lift you up and down slowly, not wanting to hurt you. You let out whines of discomfort.
"I'm sorry baby, it will start to feel good soon I promise." Akaza reassured, feeling bad for you. He calms you down with light kisses on your face, making sure to kiss the tears welling up in your eyes away as well.
When you get more comfortable with his size, he increases his pace. Lifting you on his girth quicker, the whines of displeasure now finally turning into moans of bliss.
"Told you dear." He said, glad that you're enjoying as much as he is. He keeps a steady and quick pace, then pumping his own hips into you, causing your moans to get louder.
Your tongue lulls out of your mouth, the pleasure now near over encompassing as you feel your release coming on so quickly, his dick really is something special.
"I'm close." You said, warning him on your coming release,
"Really, so quickly?" He replied in a surprised manner. You answer by sticking your tongue out at him, causing you both to breathlessly laugh.
His thrusts and lifting both get quicker and sloppier as he chases for both of your climaxes. You're the first, cumming all over his chest, he's next, cumming right in your ass.
"I LOVE YOU" You both say at the same time, finally cementing your relationship.
THE END
#x reader#x male reader#x reader smut#x male reader smut#reader#male reader#smut#reader smut#male reader smut#akaza#akaza x reader#akaza x male reader#akaza x reader smut#akaza x male reader smut#akaza smut#demon slayer#demon slayer smut#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x male reader#demon slayer x male reader smut#demon slayer x reader smut
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Aot boys' reaction learning you're injured pt.1
With: Levi, Erwin and Reiner
Part 2 here with Armin, Jean and Bertholdt
Warning: mention of injuries, fluffy
Masterlist
Levi
Levi will keep an unbothered and calm façade as he always does but secretly will absolutely PANIC.
Are you okay? Will you survive? How? When? Why? All those questions keep running in his mind as he asks calmy where you are now.
Once in the nursery, will immediately check you up, looking for any important or serious injury. If he sees that you are safe and sound, will let out a subtle sigh of relief.
100% sure that he will hold your hand if you are both alone in the room, only if you are alone. He doesn't show much affection.
"You scared me, brat. Don’t do it again" His voice will be stern but soft as he caresses your cheek. If you apologize, you will be able to see one of the rare smiles he keeps only for you
Will keep an eye on you for the next mission, don’t you dare put your life in danger again, this man will do anything to keep you the safest possible.
Levi will protect you from anything that could be a threat for you.
Understand him please, you are the most important person in the whole fucking world for him and he won't let anything take you away from him. He already lost too much in his life and you are probably the reason why he is still able to keep going.
Erwin
At first the Commander won't say anything, he probably didn't even heard Hange talking, too absorbed by his paperwork.
Is known for keeping a stoic face no matter what people tell him but when the reality that you are in danger will sink in, he will freeze completely.
"Y/N is what?" He will ask, wanting to be sure that he heard well. "No, it can be true." He will deny the fact that you are between life and death.
Will rub his temples to stay calm and collect. Is going also ask to see you even if he's doing something important. Your life=number one priority.
He will put everything on his fault. He shouldn't have sent you on this mission, what was he thinking? 100% will blame himself for your injuries so please, tell him that it's not his fault
This man will try to visit you as much as possible between his paperwork. You can see in his eyes that he's tired, tired of work and worrying for you.
He will be scared to touch you, like if he could break you so easily. "I'm not made of glass, Commander." You will say with a soft smile, teasing him anytime you can. Just seeing you smile will be enough to make his heart secretly melt.
Erwin will keep you safe for the next few months by prohibiting to go on any mission. He's the Commander, he takes the decisions. And honestly, who will blame him for wanting to keep you safe?
Reiner
Will learn the new at the mess hall while eating. He was already a bit nervous as he didn't saw you since you left for the mission. Going to choke on his food for sure.
"What?! Uh- I mean, I'm sure Y/N will be fine." Try to keep a strong facade but inside will be in a total emotional damage.
Reiner will force Bertholdt to come with him as he visits you at the nursery. He's too insecure and scared to go there alone.
When will see you, he will have to bite his lip to contain his emotions, his hands will shake a bit but he's gonna hide it.
The poor boy will be such a loss for words that the only thing he will be able to say is: "Are you okay?" How ironic when half of your body is covered in bandages.
After a few minutes will ask for Bertholdt to leave you two alone (cause it's kinda awkward) and then you will see the REAL Reiner, the one you fell in love with.
He will take your hand in his, pressing his lips against your knuckles. "You scared me so much, I thought I've lost you forever." The tough soldier will become a scared and helpless boy.
You can even see a tear rolling down his cheek before he suddenly hugs you strongly. "Reiner... my ribs..." You say with a muffled voice, wincing a bit in pain but you know he didn't mean to hurt you.
Ps: he will immediately let you down and apologize at least 5 times for hurting you, even if you told him that it was okay 😣
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By the way, if you want another character, just request it! (I do only boys)
#levi ackerman#erwin smith#reiner braun#attack on titan#attack on titan x you#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan headcanons#aot#aot x reader#levi ackeman x reader#erwin smith x reader#reiner braun x reader#pt 1
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eddie who befriends the new girl, takes her around hawkins, shows her his band, takes her backstage, and even lets her stay over a few times. y/n who’s his gf is absolutely pissed. eddie is oblivious and won’t stop anytime soon. the new girl is now taking y/n’s spot, they’re practically dating now! so the only thing y/n knows is so part away :(( maybe she dates steve?!? idk idk happy ending, angsty, whatever u see fit!?!?
Absolutely and definitely not a happy ending with Eddie. Fuck him
If I was dating a guy and he had some girl sleeping over- he's so dead
⚠️it's going to hurt and there will be no part 2
Flashbacks
Eddie had a thing in his life where he let everything fall apart but tried to run away instead of watching it. He'd throw the match but run the seconds the flame got higher and higher. Leaving whoever was left in the fire to burn to the ground themselves. And him being in love wasn't any different.
He had a good thing, a great thing. He had a girl who loved him unconditionally, loved him in ways he didn't think anyone could. You would probably think he worked his hardest to make sure she wanted to stay, but he didn't. He made it impossible for her to stay. He watched her break into pieces and had the nerve to be upset when she didn't leave at least one shred of her to stay with him.
But at the end of the day, he started the fire.
She warned him over and over. That each time he brought Lily around, she was closer to leaving.
"Eddie seriously. I think it's great you want to help out the new girl but do you really need to go on a date all over town?"
"it's not a date, we are friends. And she's new. She doesn't know half the places around here"
"she likes you Eddie. Why else do you think she purposely asked for it to just be the two of you?"
"because you scare her! She doesn't feel welcomed by you and it's not in her head"
He slammed the door. That was one time he struck the match but didn't throw it into the gasoline yet.
~~
She didn't leave then yet though, she shook it off and hung out with friends. Maybe she thought too far into it. Maybe Lily wasn't after Eddie.
"since when do you allow anyone into hellfire?"
"it's just a club. Anyone is welcomed" Eddie shrugged as he set up his campaign.
His girlfriend fuming next to him. Seconds away from either bursting into tears or flames. She didn't know.
"just a club? You made Dustin win three campaigns before he was allowed in. Lucas got kicked out for joining basketball. Gareth is suspended because he had a date on hellfire night. But Lily gets all the special treatment doesn't she?"
"oh come on babe, it's not like that. I treat you special, not her" he scoffed.
He was so in denial she was scared of where his head was even at.
"me? Special? That's funny because when I wanted to join, before you knew I liked you. You told me "there's no way a girl could handle my campaign. Try again never, sweetheart " she mocked his words. " You are letting her join because you know she likes you, don't you?"
Eddie refused to answer. Truly believing all of this was in his girlfriends head. He didn't like Lily nor cared for Lily. But he isn't going to waste his time trying to defend himself against her when she already named him guilty.
But maybe he should've fought more. Strike two on the match, but no flames yet.
~~
He didn't notice just how close his girlfriend was to walking out on him. Not noticing the way her body was always feet away when Lily was around. Lily, who was always up against his side.
"a band? That's so cool"
"yeah it's badass. Here I'll show you backstage. Only welcomed to my favorite people"
Y/N laughed to herself as Eddie didn't even look back at her. Taking Lily by the hand and dragging her backstage.
The same backstage they've made out in thousands of times. The same one she confessed she was in love with him. The same place he told her the same thing.
Strike three on the match, flames were growing slowly
~~
Two months of him ignoring his girlfriends words and warnings. Once again in denial he was doing anything wrong. He wouldn't care if she was helping out a new kid. He trusted her, but he felt like she didn't trust him.
He didn't realize he was another strike of the match away from it all blowing up on him.
"sleeping over? Eddie no. She's not sleeping at your house" Y/N demanded as she stood up from Eddie's bed.
"she's drunk and needs a place to stay" he argued, throwing on his jacket as he looked for his keys.
"then she can call her other friends. Or leave with the ones she showed up with. I know for a fact Chrissy is there. Chrissy doesn't drink. She can bring her home. Chrissy wouldn't say no. She's calling because she knows it's our date night Eddie. Think about it!"
"Y/N seriously? God! She's not out to break us up. It seems like you are! She called me because I'm sure she knows I wouldn't tell her parents. It's just a night"
"yeah a night. The night we are meant to be together! We don't even have any of those anymore Eddie. STOP PICKING HER!" She ended screaming at the end. She felt like she was talking to a wall. Even then the wall might listen to her.
"GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. I'M NOT PICKING HER. THIS INSECURITY AND JEALOUSY YOU HAVE GOING ON FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS IS GETTING OLD" he screamed back.
She shook her head. Of course it all gets blamed back on her emotions.
"insecure and jealous? Yeah I wonder why. My boyfriend is leaving our date to go pick up a drink girl who's been trying to fuck him since she met him. And asking to sleep in his house. I don't think any girlfriend would be fine with that!"
" a girlfriend that trusted her boyfriend would" he snapped back.
She really wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh, scream, cry and slash his damn tires.
"trust? Okay here. You have two options: you stay here and we fix this relationship you keep ruining. Or you leave and pick her up, but I'm gone. And I'm fully fucking done. I trust you to make the right decision" she proposed. Standing with her arms crossed and eyes glaring into him.
"we'll talk about this when I get back" Eddie sighed. Slipping on his shoes as he walked towards his front door
"Eddie I'm serious. If you leave, I will not be here when you come back. We will be fucking over. "
She watched as he hesitated. Maybe her words were finally ringing his head. Maybe he started to see he was losing her. But he had one last chance to save it....he didn't.
But he shook his head, lit the final match and threw it on the gasoline soaked floor. Giving her one last look as the flames burned all around her.
He walked out the door. Driving away at a fast speed. Not knowing she was packing up everything of their relationship. Taking everything that was hers out of his room. Throwing their pictures all over the floor. A piece of paper taped to his now closed bedroom door
"all yours now lily"
If he got to walk out on her, then she got to walk out on him.
He just didn't know she did until he got home that night.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson angst#eddie munson angst x reader#eddie munson request#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fic#eddie x reader#eddie x fem!reader
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The Challenge— Ch. 8
AN: This is a preview for the next part, where we will find out more about the readers past and get to explore the existing elation ship between the boys. it got posted early so the next chapter could take a while or come out like tomorrow, idk
“Hold still,” Price said, holding the packs above your hands. You nodded, shifting nervously on your knees. “Only gonna hurt for a second.” He lied every time, but the brief attempt at comfort made you feel a bit better.
The second the medication touched the burns you cringed, tensing immensely. You heard him try to tell you to relax, but his voice was drowned out by a wave of pain. Every time you two did this procedure it only seemed to get worse, but you were slightly thankful for it.
Coming back home had been rough. Nik only stayed for a few hours, making sure that you were situated and properly taken care of before he returned to his desolate corner in russia (they always preached how lucky you were to make your way to him, instead of heading in your enemies direction), and you had been thrown into testing immediately after that.
It felt like something out of a marvel movie, they assessed your injuries and just how well you were able to operate, thanks to Nik, you were still able to participate in field work as a long distance asset, you gave them the information you stole from the russians, and they gave you medicine for the many burns you had on your body.
Which was why you found yourself in this position.
You could still use your hands, thankfully. They were good for a manner of things, fighting, eating, and the like. But you couldn’t do things like write or hold a brush, which was the exact task required to apply the medicine that the doctors gave. So Price had to help you.
At first it was awkward, sitting there half naked on his desk while he applied a cream that burned worse than the one Nikolai gave you all over your body, but you two slowly got used to it, even breaking the tense silence with small bursts of conversation. Usually about something that had happened earlier that day. Never about the indecent that put you in this position.
There was one burn that required special attention, seeing as it hadn’t healed correctly. On the back of your neck, just in the juncture connecting your shoulders, and the only place you couldn’t reach. That one specifically hurt the worst, and you couldn’t stop yourself from moving to touch it once the cream was applied.
Price’s solution to this was to have you sit between his legs while it was applied.
It did help, of course. Any time you tried to shift your neck or flinch away from the pain, he was there with a steadying hand on your head and a slight “Don’t wana do that,” and you were still again.
Some nights were better than others, but you were always distinctly aware of the position it left you in.
Just as you were always aware of the way he would go half-hard every time you two did that.
“There you go, all done.” You sat back, looking up at him with wide eyes. You didn’t miss the way he had to swallow a bit harder, or shift his hips ever so slightly. “Wasn’t too bad.”
“You try having second degree burns and come back with that same bull shit.” He just laughed and shook his head.
“Ya know… if you want to talk about what happened—“
“John, it’s okay.” Truth be told, it wasn’t okay. It was the farthest thing from okay, but you weren’t going to bring it up anytime soon. “What happened happened.”
He just grunted. “ ‘Boys still haven’t given up on that challenge.” You just laughed, wincing at the sting of the burns.
“Honestly, you guys find even one photo and i’ll sing your praises.” You could feel his eyes on you as you got dressed, and sure enough when you turned back around he was staring at you with a different kind of intensity.
“It took you being gone for two months for us to realize we hardly know anything about you. Why is that?”
You blinked in surprise, stepping towards the door. “I have my reasons.” The hall was empty, and you sort of wished John had people outside eavesdropping on your conversation.
“Find those photos and you’ll figure it out.”
me when i wanna write sex but they aren’t like that yet
My masterlist<3333
#cod x reader#poly 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#poly 141#simon riley x reader#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost x reader
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A touchdown to remember
Thank you for this beautiful request! I hope I followed the storyline to your liking. TW: mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage
“She’s so beautiful.” You smile as you coddle your sisters newborn. You adore her with your whole heart, but can’t help to feel a little saddened by the thought of her as well. Your sister had brought up the idea of pregnancy just a few months after being married, and before you knew it, she was growing a bump. You and your husband on the other hand, haven’t been so lucky.
Last season was a roller coaster of emotions for both you and Joe. The pressure of Joe’s rising fame, a successful playoff run, and trying to start a family was a lot to say the least. Joe assured you he was ready and that this was what he wanted, but you two just hadn’t had any luck. You were starting to get worried and even visited your OB who assured that you were in fact fertile and would be for many more years. You two spent the off-season traveling and relaxing together. It was a much different environment than during the season; however it was about to be that time of year again.
September was your favorite month. Not only because it was your birthday, but it felt like a signal month. A signal for football season, a signal for a weather change, and a signal for the holidays. Arguably some of your three favorite things.
“Joe!” You call out, arriving home from your sisters. You find him reviewing some film upstairs and wrap your arms around his body. “Hi y/n” he smiles looking at you rest your head on his in the reflection of the mirror. “How’s the baby?” he asks. “She’s good, she’s healthy and Fara says she’s right on track for all her measurements.” He pauses the film and turns to you, “That’s good to hear.” He stands up and pulls you into his arms. You giggle as he squeezes, pulling you onto the bed with him. He lies next to you and leans in to kiss you. He rolls on-top of you and hovers over your mouth. “Joe, I don’t know, I’m not really in the mood for more disappointment.” You shrug.
“hey…that is not the attitude we need right now. You know anytime can be the time.” He raises his eyebrows convincingly. “I know it’s hard baby, but we can’t give up. This is what we’ve wanted for almost a year now.” You nod and pull him into your lips.
3 weeks later
“I know, I know, tell everybody i miss them and i’ll see them soon. Okay, love you, bye.” You hang up with Robin and frown to yourself. This was the first game of the season, and you were sick as a dog. It was only 10 am, but tailgating had already begun and had people looking for you. Joe left before you woke up, you felt him kiss you goodbye just minutes before hurdling to the toilet to throw up. Since then you have been lying in bed, trying to rest enough to make it to the actual game.
You thought for some time about what could have gotten you sick. You hadn’t gone anywhere out of the usual recently, you and Joe had been home as he prepared for the season. You decide to stand up and try to walk around for a bit, feeling the nausea where off a little. As you step down the stairs, a notification goes off on your phone. Looking at the screen, you see the message from your period app, but you don’t even have to read the notification to know what it says. Your phone hits the step below you.
Suddenly the symptoms you were feeling seem to evaporate, as your mind drifts somewhere else. You sprint down the stairs to find where you had stored the pregnancy tests. The cabinet that before held so much sadness, might possibly hold hope. You run back upstairs with the box in hand and fiddle with the box until you finally get it open.
Your hands shake as you wait, you had the test upside down on the bathroom counter and you just stared at yourself in the mirror. You heard your phone ding, but didn’t dare break eye contact with the mirror. After about 20 minutes you finally talked yourself into turning over the stick. As you do so, your heart drops.
Two lines.
You immediately felt tears roll down your cheeks as you knelt to the floor. You examined every inch of the test, making sure you were seeing right. You went ahead and took two more after that, which both revealed the same result. You were having a baby.
It was now about an hour till kick off, and you had yourself composed as much as possible. Getting ready to leave, your mind raced with ways to tell Joe. A Burrow onesie? A poster? A cake? You couldn’t decide on what to do, but you knew you wanted to tell Joe ASAP.
Arriving to the suite, you catch up with everyone and assure that you were just fine. You sit through the game with a huge smile on your face, one that only grows as you watch Joe run off the field after beating the Browns.
You find him immediately after and he pulls you in for a tight hug. “Hey you! I heard you weren’t feeling good what happened?” he asks sounding concerned. “I think I just had a little stomach bug or something, but i’m good now!” You assure kissing him. After he says goodbye to his family and you hug everyone, the two of you depart to your separate cars. Driving home your mind is racing, you had to tell him now. You didn’t have any cute surprise or anything but you just couldn’t wait. This was the one thing the two of you had been aching to get for months, and you wanted him to savor every moment right along with you.
You get home before him and grab the test from upstairs and slide it into your back pocket. You hear the front door open and head back downstairs. “Jesus, didn’t realize you were an F1 driver?!” Joe laughs walking in the door. “Yeah…I just…had to pee really bad.” You lie as you both walk into the kitchen. He puts his stuff down and leans against the counter taking you in with his eyes. “You good?” he curiously questions. “Never better. You just got the first win of the season my love.” You smile and peck him on the lips. “Wanna order food? I’m starving.” He says picking up his phone, but your eyes stay glued to him. “Yeah, just, here come sit down i want to show you something.” You say leading him to the kitchen table. He sits and eyes you curiously. “Okay so…I might have lied about the whole stomach bug thing.” You say slowly reaching into your back pocket as Joe eyes you. You pull out the stick and hand it to him, watching every detail of his reaction. You watch as he accepts the test, than scans it, then finally takes in what he’s seeing in-front of him. You watch him look up to you with glossy eyes. “y/n…this is…you’re…we’re having a baby?” his voices goes higher as he stands up in question. You smile and nod with tears streaming down your face.
You immediately wrap your legs around his waist as he picks you up in a spin. You both giggle in a stream of tears and he places you back down. “Oh my god, we’re gonna be parents!” he exclaims excitedly. You had never seen him so overjoyed about something, he looked more elated than the day he won a national championship. “Joey…” You cup his cheeks and pull him close to you. “I love you so much.”
“I love you y/n”
The next couple of weeks felt like you had stepped into a whole new life. You were now managing doctor’s appointments and morning sickness continued to hit you like a brick. Joe went to as many appointments as he could, but for the most part you were on your own. Which was fine because all that mattered to you was the fact that you were carrying a healthy 7 week old baby.
The last couple of weeks have been filled with football and family, which is always the case especially in the beginning of the season. That being said, keeping the secret from both of your parents would have been impossible. You guys took them out to dinner last night and surprised them with “Baby Burrow” onesies and a picture of your first ultrasound on top. Of course there were a lot of happy tears and a lot of hugging. It made the moment feel so much more real to you. You also insisted that they keep quiet, given your plan to keep the baby a secret until later in the pregnancy.
Sitting through games through the middle of the season with family and friends always made you feel so warm for your little one. You were so excited for him or her to come into this world because you know they’d have a village of people for support. The hardest part of keeping the secret was avoiding alcohol. Your “headache” excuse had only worked for about two games, before you had to start pretend drinking. Although it was hard, it was also fun for you cause you knew once all your friends knew they would be over the moon.
At the beginning of December, Joe insisted on you being forbidden to enter the extra guest room near you’re guys shared master. “It’s a surprise!” he would insist, but it nagged at you everyday.
“Merry Christmas!” You hear Joe yell before you feel him pounce on you, careful to avoid your little bump. “Merry Christmas!” You say bringing him up to your arms. You were very thankful that once the morning sickness subsided, your symptoms were very mild. “I made us pancakes.” Joe says smiling, knowing that was your number one craving. You slid your elf slippers on and headed downstairs following Joe. One thing you two had set in stone was no matter how hectic football season got, you would always put up a tree together. It sparkled above the wrapped gifts, highlighting every ornament on the tree.
You both sat down for breakfast, but Joe was anxious to get to gifts. He wanted you to open his gift for you first of course. “Here. Open” he insists as he hands you the gift from the tree after you sit on the couch. You carefully open the wrapping and the box that sits inside it to reveal a Van Cleef Alhambra bracelet. You’re eyes light up and you smile at Joe. “Joe this is gorgeous! Thank you baby.” You stand up and hug him and he lies his head on yours. “Okay now open yours” you insist but he shakes his head. “wait! I have one more thing for you, cmon.” he leads you upstairs past your shared room and right to the closed door of the room you have been banned from for the last month.
“So i thought this was perfect timing since we decided to announce the baby soon…” He turns the handle and you step into the room, almost tripping as you do. Your mouth hangs open at the sight in front of you. It was the most beautiful nursery you had ever seen. The gender of the baby was still unknown, so the base was mostly neutral for now. There was a backsplash of vines and flowers that resembled a garden. The furniture was all set up and arranged beautifully. The floor had been redone, and the walls were painted a light forest green. “Its kinda boring now, but once we know the gender we can bring in the fun colors and stuff.” Joe says wrapping his arms around you from the back. Your eyes start to tear up, “Joe..this is so perfect…thank you.” You turn to hug him and you both remain there holding each other in awe of the room that would soon house your little one. The thought of Joe putting so much effort into this room, and your child being able to come home to it warmed you in every way possible.
It was now January, meaning you were about four months pregnant, luckily this cold weather meant big-baggy clothes could hide your growing bump. January also meant playoff season. The Bengals were making there way through, looking forward to the divisional round next weekend. You were so excited both for the game, and to finally announce your pregnancy, which you both decided to do after the game.
Today was Monday, meaning Joe was at practice, and you were doing some errands. Walking through downtown was like therapy for you. Joe was worried about you going out by yourself, but he also knew you needed it for your sanity. Walking into a local boutique, you’re greeted at the door and your immediately hit with all the bengals merchandise. This was one of your favorite things about the city, how supportive they were of the team through thick and thin. After the game, you both wanted to have your closest people come back to the house for dinner so you could make the announcement. Joe promised, win or lose, he still wanted to have the dinner; so you were shopping for some decor for the house.
Bringing your bags inside, you smile, thinking of how excited you were to finally let the cat out of the bag. You decide to lay down and rest for a while before Joe comes home. Even doing the smallest thing made you exhausted at this point in pregnancy. You are almost asleep when all of a sudden you feel a sharp pain, almost like a cramp. You sit up and wince at the feeling, confused as to what’s happening. The pain only grows worse, and as you remove the sheet from across you to stand up, you realize what is happening.
Time felt like it stopped, like you kept moving, but everything around you had froze. You weren’t sure when you picked up the phone to call Joe, or when he had ran into the room to find you hunched over in tears, or when you ended up in a hospital bed with a doctor by your side.
Once your mind finally felt like it stopped spinning, it all hit you, the look on Joe’s face, the sympathy from the doctor, the feeling of Joes hand on yours. It all crashed down on you as you let out a sob. You cried in Joes arms, no words were shared, just cried between the two of you. “Joe what happened?” you sniffle, pulling away, and wiping tears from your eyes. “He said they can’t tell exactly…” Joe veers off, “they said maybe a womb structure issue, or an infection, either could be a reason for all the bleeding. They’re running some tests now.” he finishes, wiping his own eyes. “No…I cant, how is this happening? I mean I was so far along, what did i do wrong Joe?” you whimper and his eyes meet yours. “Don’t say that y/n, you know this was not your fault baby, this was not something you could control. Okay? I need you to understand that.” you nod and he leans in to hold you again while you cry. Your mind was a mess. You had it, you had what you wanted, you were so close to being a mom, but it left far too soon.
Soon after, the doctor comes back to explain that there was some kind of infection within the placenta that rarely develops, but when it does, it inhabits wombs that are carrying children for the first time. You couldn’t really focus on what he was saying, but he informed you that your health was in the clear now, and you could go home, but had to get a lot of rest.
Both sets of parents had been in and out of the hospital, supporting you and Joe but also wanting to get everything ready at home.
You were in the hospital for less than 24 hours, but stepping inside your house felt different. Walking up those stairs, with Joe helping you along, the guilt only continues to pile up. As you make the turn to your bedroom, you stop and look at the closed door of the room next door. The room that was supposed to be your baby’s home, would never get to meet him. Him, your baby boy, your baby boy who you never actually got to meet. Your baby boy whose gender was only discovered after you had lost him. Joe kisses your head and urges you to lie down in bed.
Downstairs, you hear a few voices quietly talking. You get yourself out of bed, sick of being in the same spot for so long. Entering the kitchen you see both moms and your sister gathered around the island, with Joe sitting on the couch. All heads turn to you and you offer a small smile. Your sister pulls you into a hug, not saying anything. “We brought some flowers over and cooked some food for you guys. We’ll get going, but we’ll come check up on you guys soon okay?” Your mom says as everyone says their goodbyes. You join Joe on the couch, he opens his arms for you, but you only stay seated near him. He frowns a bit but understands. “How are you feeling?” he asks, “I’m okay, how are you?” you ask. He shrugs and you nod. The T.V plays silently as you both blankly stare at it. “I talked to Zac today, told him i’d be out of practice this week.” you turn to him with curiosity. “Okay…you’re doing that for yourself though right? You’re not doing that because of me Joe…” he shakes his head. “y/n…i need to be here for you. I don’t care if we aren’t even sleeping in the same bed, i’m not leaving this house until i’m sure you’re okay.” You wanted to argue, but didn’t have the energy. Instead you just go back upstairs and run a bath.
The sheets were changed, Robin immediately doing so once she heard the story. The bed was made brand new like nothing had ever happened. The moment you hit the pillows your eyes fall into a deep sleep.
Waking up, you hear voices downstairs and decide to stand up. walking into the kitchen, you notice both you and Joe’s mom and your sister gathered around chatting. Your sister wordlessly hugs you and you offer a smile. “Honey we brought over some food, we’ll get going now, but i’ll call to check on you later okay?” Your mother says. You say your goodbyes and notice Joe on the couch. You sit by him as you both stare at the silent television. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “I’m okay, How are you?” he just shrugs. “I talked to Zac, told him i’m taking the rest of practice this week off. I just don’t think I can handle it and i want to be here with you-” “Joe, i’ll be okay, you don’t need to do this for me.” You cut him off but he shakes his head. “I’m doing it for us baby, I can’t be out there knowing your here alone.” You nod your head and lie back against the couch.
Zac came over to the house later that night and sat down with Joe. He brought flowers and some cookies his wife baked. You thanked him and engaged in some small talk before heading to bed.
Joe and Zac sat at the kitchen table talking. “Listen, this is what is important right now Joe, I know you are capable of greatness, but you have to take care of her first.” Zac says. “I know, that’s why I can’t come to practice this week, but as for the game, i mean i’m not sure…” Joe trails off. “Listen, don’t think about that right now, when the time comes you can make a decision. We have time, it’s only Tuesday. I’ll let the guys know what happened, and as for media. I’ll keep it quiet, I promise,” Zac says. Joe thanks him and walks him out to his car once they finish talking.
The next morning Joe turns over, surprised not to see you there. Downstairs, he notices you curled up on the couch. Making some coffee, his mind runs with what could have brought you down here. “Hi lovie,” you say stretching and standing from the couch. “Hey…you okay?” Joe says hugging you. “Yeah…I just…I couldn’t sleep, I needed a little change.” Joe nods. “What do you want for breakfast?” You shrug and respond that you’re not hungry. “y/n…you have to eat.” Joe insists . He ends up making you avocado toast anyway and watching you as you eat it.
The next few days, Joe saw small improvements in your demeanor, but was still a little worried. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been pushing down his own grief to focus on you. Which, you insisted you didn’t need taking care of. Saturday rolls around and Joe finally had his decision made. You decided you wanted to get out of the house, so Joe drove you to a friends to spend the day with. “Have you decided yet?” You ask Joe in the car. “Yeah…I’m gonna do it.” Joe replied looking over at you. You squeeze his hand, “good.”
Later that night you and Joe lied in bed together holding each other. “I’m glad you’re playing tomorrow Joe. Even if you’re not completely focused, it’s better than you not being there at all.” you say looking up to him. “I know. Are you going to go to the stadium or stay here?” he asks. “I’m going to stay here I think. I don’t think I can handle all the commotion, plus by now everyone probably already knows the news and I don’t really feel like taking about it with everyone.” You say shutting your eyes. “Good, I wanted you to be here anyway, I love you.” he whispers. “I love you too.”
The next morning you shot everyone a text letting them know that you would be home today and you’ll miss them. Joe left a couple of hours ago and you were settling into the couch to focus on the game. Last night was the first night you and Joe had slept in the same bed and it was the best night you’ve had all week. You’re glad you both had this distraction for the time being, and you didn’t want to think about anything but the game. Zac did a really great job at keeping the press mild and many of Joes teammates had reached out to you. You had seen one post from some tabloid about your pregnancy which you were originally pissed about, but decided to let it go.
You watch as the game begins and they take on the Bills at home. Joe was playing good throughout the first quarter, the second one a little rocky and you could tell his mind was somewhere else. At halftime, you made yourself something to eat and stopped when you noticed the ultrasound picture on the fridge. Your heart dropped for a moment and you weren’t sure what to do. You took the picture off the fridge and headed upstairs.
Finally getting yourself to open the door that you have had mentally locked. You gaze over the room as you take in every aspect of it again. It doesn’t bring you the same joy it did before, instead it’s just a reminder of what could have been. You pick up the empty picture frame that Joe had put out on the changing table. He wanted to put the baby’s first bubble bath picture in their. Instead you open the frame, carefully placing the ultrasound picture inside and closing it again. You place it back on the changing table as a tear rolls down your cheek. You only let yourself linger for a moment before leaving the room, and shutting the door behind you.
The second half begins and you watch as the bengals take the first few snaps, making there way down the field. All of a sudden you watch as Joe quickly decides to keep the ball and takes off running. You stand up as you watch him sprint down the field, outrunning every other defender. He quickly makes his way into the end zone and you here the announcer over the television. Touchdown
You clap your hands over your mouth and smile to yourself as they show the whole stadium in cheers. They pan to the sideline where every Bengals player and coach was jumping for joy.
Then they pan to Joe in the end zone and you watch as his knees hit the ground below him and he holds the ball in his hands, staring at it with emotion filled eyes. In an instant his team is surrounding him hugging him and in cheer as they all recognize how big this moment actually is for him. The weight of the world was resting on Joes shoulders all week, this felt like a shift in reality for him and for you. You find yourself in tears once again seeing your husband in such a vulnerable state. You watch as he composes himself on the sideline and even finishes the rest of the game with a win. This was no doubt the hardest thing you and Joe had been through, but you were getting through it together.
#joe burrow#joeburrow#joe burrow fic#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow x y/n#joe burrow x reader#joeburrow request#joey burrow#AMfic
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it's me, hi!
Hello everyone! it's me - randomdragonfires/sam and this is my new blog!
This is a note for anyone who remembers me - hello, I'm back here, I suppose! First off, I'm going to say this: I'm genuinely sorry to those whom I worried while I took off without saying a word. I was gone a whole month and I left no way to be contacted. I can understand how that could worry those of you who cared, and I should have acted better.
I left for a bit simply because I needed to catch a breath. Writing started to seem a bit like a chore, and there was too much about the fandom that made me sad, frustrated, angry and petty each time I opened my feed. I was not writing and I was not a happy participant - there was very little reason for me to stay and make myself miserable, when I could have been clearing my head, giving myself space and falling in love with writing for fandom all over again.
Which is what I've been doing in the past month.
Deleting my tumblr and discord was not a decision I made impulsively. I had been considering it for weeks, and I am glad I did. Now, after a clean long break, I've come back with a much more healthier relationship with this blog and the fandom, and I'm genuinely in a better space. I look forward to writing and posting here again too.
I've missed it so much more than you know.
that's great, Sam! so, how have you been?
It's good. It's bumpy and weird, but things are good. I hope they've been good for you guys too. <3
If this is your next question, then here it is!
I've been very busy. I work a 9-6 job as a creative writer 6 days a week and I also study for my executive masters program (in journalism and PR, if you're wondering) when I'm not working. I'm involved in a few freelance projects and when I'm not doing any of this, I prefer to read or sleep or go on fast hour-long walks; simply because it all keeps me away from my electronics. I'm constantly drained creatively, and it sucks - but I'm also engaged 24x7, learning something new and doing productive things.
will you be writing again?
If this is something that you're wondering about, then yes. I do plan on writing. I am starting a series that I am trying to pour my entire soul into - but it is going slowly. Like I mentioned, I have a tight schedule and it keeps me busy every second of the day, so I write when I can.
I plan on announcing my new series with a story masterpost anytime now. If you're interested, perhaps you should keep an eye on this space!
I will also be reuploading a selected collection of some of my work from my old blog - so if you'd like to give those a revisit, then feel free to!
that's it from me!
I'm happy to be back in the thick of things, and I hope that, to some extent, you're glad to see me back too. I'm here to be a positive, non-problematic presence that writes good fic, supports other artists, and is happy about it. Negativity in excess had me step away once, and I hope I'll never have to do that again.
Let's all be kinder, or at least try. :)
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (4)
Chapter 4: Comatose
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
Warning: cussing, mentions of a panic attack
Word count: 8,129
Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hello, lovelies! The long awaited 4th chapter is here and omg I'm so sorry for the long wait! I haven't even realized it's been a month since my last update...but I had a lot of stuff to do for my University and just didn't find the time to write, but here I am now, and I'll try to update next week or after that! I promise you'll have lots of Mingi next chapter *wink wink*, but I hope after reading this chapter Yn's attitude will make more sense, and that she won't be so insufferable anymore to you all reading. Please listen to the fourth song Comatose before or while reading this chapter! Yes, I have totally made Mingi wear his waterbomb outfit in this chapter because waterbomb Mingi shall NEVER be forgotten, goodbye. Please leave feedback, I truly appreciate it! Enjoy now! I have a surprise coming next chapter, hehet^^
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng
⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩
♫Playlist♫
『I don't care enough to miss you
After all the shit we've been through
My heart's comatose, comatose』
The blinking of the cursor was staring back at me mockingly, a reminder that my fingers haven’t moved in the past ten minutes. No thoughts connected to the theme of my project came to mind, no matter how hard I tried and how many articles I read. My mind seemed to be blank at the moment and it seemed like it wouldn’t get any better anytime soon. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling well. And that usually reflects in my work and influences my whole mood, and even day. I thought I would have a very productive day as I got ready this morning and went to the library to finish my art assignment, however, the little kick I had, came crushing down the second Mingi decided to sit with me. Well, perhaps that one small factor wasn’t the real reason which ruined my mood and brought me to the brink of a panic attack, and the current void and emptiness I have been feeling in my chest ever since. Perhaps it was the mention of Jeong Yunho and the reminder of how little I have always meant to him. My lower lip quivered again, and I allowed myself to fall back in the chair I was sitting in, staring up at my white ceiling in desperation. Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Yunho again? Was the Universe having a laugh at me? What were the chances that this Song Mingi was the same Song Mingi Yunho never shut up about while we were dating? It was frustrating. It was maddening and it was…mocking. I couldn’t help but feel bitter the longer I allowed the image of Mingi and Yunho laughing, hanging out, falling all over each other, linger in my mind. Their hearts filled with joy and their time spent with endless conversations, late night trips to the convenience store, random road trips and the overall feeling of knowing that you always had one person you could rely on no matter what. What did Mingi have that I didn’t? What did Yunho see in him that he never saw in me? Why was Mingi better than me? And why…was I suddenly feeling this vial jealousy creeping up in my chest like an ugly monster, the whisper of thoughts I have always tried to push to the depths of my mind after Yunho’s sudden, but heartbreaking, departure from my life?
『Straight coats and empty cabinets
Ashes from all the mess you left
New lease without you
I confess that I'm happy you're gone』
What was it about Song Mingi that Yunho was so infatuated with? What was it with Song Mingi that everyone seemed to like and gravitate towards? All I could see was the arrogance and self-centeredness rolling off of him in waves any time he entered a room. The need to shine and be the center of attention, to be the only person anyone was able to see, to focus on. The constant smirk or grin on his lips, almost always mocking or just an awful reminder that he was better than you—it was subtle, but it was there. The mischievous glint in his eyes as he watched your every move, hiding behind a wall of emotionlessness, sharp eyes watching but not giving anything away. There was no honesty in his expressions or in his actions. But why did nobody else see that? Why was I the only one picking up on how insincere Mingi actually was? Why did nobody question what he hid behind those dark and sharp eyes? His face so often void of any emotion. And then, to further prove my confusion, the Mingi I talked to today was—why did he feel different? Everything staring from his appearance to his behavior was unlike the infuriating person I have come to know. He portrayed a calm and collected nature, albeit still mischievous as he had taken my sketchbook without my permission, yet it was so clear on his face that he didn’t have any mal intentions. What prompted him to approach me out of the blue and why did he look almost…lonely? What drew him to smile so much and so freely? It certainly couldn’t have been me; I have done everything I could to make him feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, yet he…stayed. He talked without a care in the world, almost as if he forgot I would be judging his every move and sentence. He almost looked curious of who I was, trying to make conversation in which I did not want to engage in. What was it about Yunho that made his eyes sparkle so much? Why did Yunho have so much of an influence on Mingi? Why did it have to be Mingi? Why does Yunho have to be everywhere around me even after he leaves? Does Yunho really mean that much to Mingi? Just how deep is their bond? But the most jarring thought amidst the spiraling of my mind into a place I did not wish for it to go, was a very simple one. Why do I care about Song Mingi all of a sudden? Why do all these things matter to me all of a sudden? Who is Song Mingi to me to send me into an existential crisis, into a state of nervosity, and restlessness, and so much bitterness? He’s just a guy. A guy who is very irritating, arrogant, self-centered, and a pushover. A guy who only wants attention and is superficial. A guy who forgets about you the second he’s turned his back to you. A guy who only likes you until you’re new and exciting. When you start becoming boring, what does it matter anymore? Why would he keep you around for longer? Perhaps him and Yunho have more in common than I would have thought at first.
『So used to pain that it's my remedy
Easy to hate, I gave you everything
Funny that you're the one that ran away
You left me first』
I couldn’t do this anymore, I had to stop thinking. I needed my brain to shut up, to stop torturing me more than I was already hurting. I refused to reach my breaking point again just because Mingi mentioned that Yunho was his best friend—why was I giving him so much power? Trying to snap out of it, I groaned loudly as I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palms, sitting up straight again to try and focus for the last time on my project. I had to get this done in two days, I really couldn’t slack off anymore. So, I opened the previous tab I was reading from and scrolled up in order to start reading the article from the beginning once again, hoping that the words in it would finally stick. But despite my attempt to finally focus on the only important task at hand, the loud ping of my phone quickly pulled my attention away from it. I jumped at the loud sound and cursed silently, having forgotten to put my phone on ‘do not disturb’. My eyes snapped down to it mildly annoyed, but quickly furrowed when I realized it was a message from an unknown number. I stared at it for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion.
Unknown:
are u coming to Outlaw tonight?
Before I could really control myself, curiosity overtook me. It must’ve been someone who knows me since they were asking about Outlaw. They must have seen me there last time.
Me:
who’s this?
Unknown:
mingi lol
My eyebrows instantly furrowed as I stared down at the message, my stomach doing a weird flip. My fingers hovered over the screen of my phone, tempted to just quickly block his number and forget about the past ten seconds, because what the fuck? How did he even get my number? I certainly don’t remember giving it to him.
Me:
wtf? how do you have my number.
Unknown:
wooyoung
I blinked, mind blanching for a second. Wooyoung? That made even less sense as Wooyoung and I have met just once and I have not given him my phone number. I waited for a few seconds longer, waiting for Mingi to explain further, but it never came. No small dots indicating that he was texting anything else. I groaned and looked at my pale green wall for a second, trying to collect my thoughts and not throw my phone out the window. Why did he have to have my number? Was this Mingi’s way of getting on my nerves even more? And now I had to figure out how Wooyoung got my number—oh. I tsked in disbelief, eyes zooning in on the picture of Seulgi and myself I had on display on my desk. Of course, that little bitch. Why would she ask me first before giving my phone number to a complete stranger—even if Mingi wasn’t that, I still didn’t want him to have it.
Me:
whatever, i’m blocking you.
Unknown:
so, are you coming then?
Me:
no, mingi, i am not.
I rolled my eyes at Mingi’s insistency of getting an answer and blatant ignorance towards my threat of blocking him—which wasn’t as menacing as I wished for it to be. But it only took him seconds to answer, and I tried not to think about how quickly he was responding.
Unknown:
ok
My eyes narrowed at his simple—and sharp—answer, fingers hovering over the keyboard to fire an insult at him if he went ahead and started leaving more messages, wanting to remind him that I was not in any shape or form curious to hear any more of his bullshit. The bitterness was quite strong in the back of my head, jealousy searing through my body—I couldn’t help it. A minute or two passed, but Mingi wasn’t typing anything else and I huffed, irritated by his antics. Why was he even asking if I would go to Outlaw? I hated it the first time—well, maybe that was a little lie—and I still hate it now, so therefore I had not one reason to go and watch him perform again. Not one particle in my body wished to hear his raspy voice accompanied by a guitar, bass, and drums. I was quite content by going to bed early tonight and forgetting about the whole day, hoping that my chest would feel less heavy in the morning and the green monster would be gone from my head. And yet, despite my better judgment, my fingers worked quickly, before my mind could even register what I was doing, and I was saving Mingi’s number. There was no desire in me to have his name in my phone under any shape, so I stopped for a second to ponder over the many options I could be calling him, such as: idiot, dumbass, jackass, prick, mr. arrogant—were sounding rather pleasing to my ears—and yet, despite the wicked grin I had on my lips, my mind seemed to settle for a simple ‘I hate him’. His number was saved in my phone without putting more thought into what I was doing, and I was placing my phone aside, attention going back to my project. Now, there was nothing in the world which could disturb me again—but then my phone rang. I groaned loudly and felt like pulling on my hair, staring at my cursed phone heatedly. I was half expecting Mingi’s number to pop-up, but thankfully it wasn’t him. That would’ve been the last straw for today, I certainly would’ve gone crazy. Instead, it was Seulgi calling and I knew she had something important to say if she wasn’t texting. I picked up, albeit with disdain.
“Hey!” She sounded cheerful, excited. Very much the opposite of my mood right now.
“Hi.” I muttered and started tapping my forefinger against my desk, staring down at the article I had opened in front of me.
“You sound like you want to kill someone.”
“And I do.” My answer made Seulgi laugh, making me sigh. And that person was Song Mingi, of course.
“What’s got your panties in a twist this time, huh?” Seulgi’s voice was playful, and unfortunately, it was only building up my irritation. She didn’t have any bad intentions, but I couldn’t handle her cheeriness and playfulness at the moment. I needed to be alone. I needed to not think and just get shit done.
“Why did you call?” I preferred not to answer her question as I asked another one, voice not snappy just tired as Seulgi remained silent for a second on the other end.
“Noir Zenith are performing at Outlaw tonight,” I knew where this was going, I just gulped realizing Mingi had asked the same thing of me just mere minutes ago, “Do you want to come with me?”
“No.” My answer was too fast and harsh, I quickly tried to mend it, “I’ve got a family thing—issue, I mean. I’m sorry, but I can’t come because of it…”
My voice got quiet as I trailed off, not particularly fond of lying to my best friend, but I really didn’t want to go out tonight and I knew if I told Seulgi the real reason she would complain and complain until I finally gave in, her tactic of coercion working just fine on me. I never stood a chance in front of her when she would start complaining and whining and bringing up all the times I have bailed on her in the past.
“Oh,” It wasn’t hard to hear the disappointment in her voice, and if I weren’t in such a bad headspace at the moment I would have felt awful, “it’s fine, I get it. But…you do know you can tell me anything, right?”
I sighed loudly, “I know, thanks Seulgi, and sorry. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”
“Don’t worry about it,” She was smiling now, adding a small chuckle too, “We all have bad days, I’ll see you at university tomorrow?”
“Most certainly.” A small smile made it onto my face and Seulgi quickly bid her goodbye as we hung up, silence enveloping me. I didn’t forget to press the ‘do not disturb’ button this time as I placed my phone on my desk, next to my laptop, and faced the article taunting me. Not finishing this project today wasn’t an option anymore, and so, I quickly dove in, the torturing thoughts finally silent somehow.
The hours went by quickly and despite my mind struggling to focus on the task at hand, I made it. I finished the project in about four hours and it definitely gave me a little confidence boost, which I desperately needed after the emotional turmoil I was forced to face today. My mind was a mess. I was tired and I needed to sleep. I didn’t even care how early or late it was as I got into bed, forgetting to wash my face or even change into my pajamas, I just needed to lay my head down and close my eyes. And it was working well…until it wasn’t. The warmth of my thick blanket enveloped me and my head grew heavier as my muscles relaxed, the comfort of my bed bringing peace to my loud thoughts. It felt nice. To finally be able to forget everything that’s happened today, to just let go and…sleep. I really needed this; I haven’t felt this exhausted in a long time. I have never been good at dealing with my feelings, I usually pushed them away and ignored everything I felt…until they blew up in my face. Then, I would finally break and it was chaotic and messy. I knew it was the wrong coping mechanism, but I couldn’t help it. Nothing else worked, because I just couldn’t deal with the pain. I hated the overwhelming thoughts, the pressing heaviness and constant pain. I just simply didn’t want to deal with them. Drawing was a nice way of escaping my reality, but lately it didn’t help. It drew me up the wall, it was so frustrating. So many emotions had been steering hidden deep inside these past weeks, I didn’t know how to deal with them—I didn’t want to deal with them, actually. I needed them silent, gone.
And despite needing to sleep right now, eyes heavy and mind fuzzy, it wasn’t working. Nothing helped. My mind was silent, yet my ears were buzzing, whispers so quiet in the back of my head that I could barely hear them. My chest was heavy, it felt like I needed to cry, but my throat was closing in on me, refusing to let any tears to the surface. I could breathe, but at the same time I couldn’t. Turning on to my left side did nothing, but snap my eyes open. Why couldn’t I sleep? Why was this feeling returning? Why couldn’t I just rest for one fucking second?! I buried my head into my pillow and let out a silent scream, punching the soft mattress of my bed next to my head, legs trashing around as I needed to let out the creeping hysteria in my body somehow. Was I finally going crazy? Was my mother’s premonition finally blending into reality? She did randomly while watching TV, one month ago, tell me that I would soon face a challenging obstacle in my life, which would feel suffocating and relieving at the same time. Mind running per hour, I shot up in a sitting position and gaped at nothing in particular, recalling the memory of said night. But my mother said nothing else as she went back to watching TV, acting as if what she had said to me was totally normal. It wasn’t. But I was used to her quirky antics, she was a bit whimsical, but I loved her. Her intentions were always good and pure, she was a woman full of love and warmth…unlike me. Perhaps I was like my father…not that I could remember him, he’s left us while I was a little girl. We kept in touch until I turned approximately eight, after that…he never showed his face again. Something about moving to a new city and starting a new life, I couldn’t care less, he was never a pilar of support in my life. I didn’t need a man to bring me comfort, to make me feel safe. I had myself for that, and my mother—when things got too rough to handle on my own.
With a sigh, I reached over my bed and grabbed my sketchbook from my bedside table and turned on the small lamp, grabbing the pencil I had from underneath my pillow. Not one corner of my room was safe from my drawing supplies. I flipped the sketchbook open to a blank page and sighed, eyebrows lightly furrowing as I pressed the pencil against the soft paper. I didn’t have anything particular in mind as I started drawing. Maybe a small meadow with colorful flowers or a flower field, those sounded nice right now. It felt like they could fix my sour mood after today, like they would bring a little comfort to my overthinking brain at the moment. But I already knew I couldn’t control my hand when it came to drawing, and I wasn’t too surprised to find myself drawing the outline of a face. The lines were sharp and precise, darker around the brow bone and defining at the sharp and pointy nose. I added shading to the jawline before moving to the cheekbones, not making them too harsh. The sketch so far was looking like any regular face. It could turn into anything from here on. I could make it anyone I wanted it to be. For some reason my hand went to draw the lips instead of the eyes, usually those were the first thing I drew when starting a portrait. But this time, my brain focused on the dark outline of the plump lips and adding more depth as the Cupid’s Bow was deep and pointy. I licked my lips as I allowed my eyes to run over the eyeless portrait, subconsciously adding a small mole to the left side of its face, close to the jawline. I had a hunch where this was going, but I wanted to keep going—I couldn’t stop my brain from pushing me to just draw more. I allowed my pencil to run over the lines of the nose, making them sharper, lengthening it just like the person had it in real life. My hand hovered in the air for a second, reluctant to finally draw the eyes of the portrait, but I didn’t have it in me to stop right now. I always hated leaving my work unfinished—that was my excuse right now too, despite knowing who I was drawing once again. Yet not one particle in my body wished to stop right now, and I couldn’t help it as I finally drew lines sharp enough to accentuate the depth and glare in his deep eyes. The shading of them happened quickly and without even thinking, the small but dark mole sat comfortably underneath his right eye as I pressed my pencil firmly against the paper.
The breath which left my lips was sharp, and I gulped as my grip tightened around my pencil. I knew what I was doing this time, yet I didn’t stop it. Why? Why did I allow myself to draw—Mingi. His sharp and expressionless face stared back at me and I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t mocking me, he didn’t have any twinkle in his eyes, he was just…there. On my paper, in my favorite journal-like sketchbook. And my heart was beating faster the longer I was looking at it. My stomach was twisting in a foreign way and I felt like I needed air. Fresh air. It felt like my room was closing in on me, I felt like I didn’t have enough space all of a sudden. The blanket falling on my lap suddenly felt too warm, like it was burning my body up. Without a second thought, I threw the sketchbook off from my lap, together with the blanket, and sprung out of bed, racing towards my closet. I threw it open and grabbed the first thing which came into view, a grey oversized jumper, as I stepped out of my slippers and slipped my phone into the pocket of my grey sweatpants, headed for my closed door. My throat was squeezing itself and it was a little hard to breathe as I frantically moved down the stairs, desperate for fresh air at this point. The light was on in the kitchen and I realized it wasn’t even ten pm yet as my mother was tinkering around, listening to some jazz music. I must’ve been loud as I almost crashed into the wall, struggling to put on my sneakers.
“Honey?” I heard my mother’s voice coming from behind me as I turned to look at her. Her ginger hair was a mess as her curls stuck out in all directions, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Everything alright?”
I nodded, fearing what my voice would sound like as I quickly wore the jumper in my hands, “Are you going out? It’s a little late…”
I hummed, licking my lips nervously, hand reaching for the doorknob, “I won’t take long, I promise.”
“Call me if you need me.” My mother had an understanding look on her face, it made my lips tremble, “I’ll pick you up.”
“Didn’t you drink?” My voice was slightly shaking as my eyes went to the wine glass she was holding in her right hand. My mother glanced down at it as if she had forgotten about it and quickly pushed it behind herself.
“We could always ride my electric scooter; I haven’t used it in quite a while.” My mother giggled at her own suggestion and I couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle, the tightness in my throat lessening a little bit. How badly I wished to pour my heart out to her, to let my feelings finally loose, but I couldn’t. That would mean having to face what I was feeling. That would mean everything was real and not just made up by my useless brain.
“I’ll be home in an hour, don’t worry.” My mother just hummed as she watched me leave as I took my keys and closed the door carefully behind myself. The crisp air of the evening was a harsh wake-up call that I should’ve worn a jacket as well, but I didn’t have it in me to walk back inside my warm house. I couldn’t. I needed to walk. I needed to clear my mind. I had to get rid of this awful feeling in my chest. And so that’s just what I did, I walked. I took off towards nowhere particular as my feet carried me down the sidewalk, the streets illuminated by the lampposts, creating just enough light, but not too much. A few cars passed by then and now, the neighborhood relatively quiet at this hour of the evening. The cold air was biting at my cheeks and I buried my hands in my pockets, taking a deep breath before releasing it slowly. It felt nice as the cold air traveled through my throat, deep down into my lungs. It was refreshing, it was just what I needed. As I took a left turn, I left my neighborhood and realized I was headed towards the city center, more people on the road now as it was the main one. Groups of teenagers passed by me and I shivered at the sudden cold breeze. I looked around and watched as it picked up and blew the branches of the trees apart, more leaves falling to the ground, creating a blanket of orange and burgundy underneath our feet. The leaves crunched under my shoes and I felt myself smiling as I kicked into a smaller pile gathered up on the sidewalk by the wind, memories of my childhood fresh in my mind. My mother would always gather the leaves in our small backyard and then she’d take me outside and we’d play around for hours in the leaves, giggling and laughing as we’d pretend that I was a princess and she was the leaves monster trying to kidnap me from my kingdom. Despite my mother struggling at times, my childhood never lacked anything, and it was filled with many happy memories. Sometimes I wondered what changed that I turned into such a moody and sour person. There were remnants of my old self when I was with Seulgi or with my mother, but I was pretty bad at opening up to strangers, at letting others in…especially males. I couldn’t help but think they had other motives and were only waiting for the right time to fuck me over, to abandon me. My attention was brought to a couple as the girl screeched and ran past me, the boy chasing after her while holding something in his hands, giggling loudly and calling out her name. I couldn’t help but glance after them, the green monster back in my head, as the guy caught up with her and tackled her into a hug despite the girl’s loud complaints. I have realized, the guy was carrying dirt in his hands and the girl’s cheeks were already smudged with it, probably. My stomach clenched and it got harder to gulp as I tore my eyes off them, trying to take a deep breath, trying to push down the memories threatening to resurface.
But I couldn’t help it as Yunho made it to the forefront of my mind, our many dates stored away in a little treasure chest in my heart. We used to go on so many dates, Yunho loved trying out new things and visiting new places. Every second weekend he planned something new, he surprised me with something. I thought I was the luckiest girl on Earth. I thought I would never find anyone else who could love me and cherish me as much as Yunho—and perhaps I really never would. Because Yunho was special, because he made you feel like you were the only one in the whole world he could see, he could love. A small part of me still wished he loved me at some point. Of course, it did, I was so hopelessly in love with him once that everything was about him. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t live without him. He was the only thing I could think about, I could talk about. Everyone told us how well we matched; how perfect we were for each other. The both of us always smiling, always so nice to others. Before getting abandoned by Yunho, I was—I wasn’t like this. I smiled, I laughed, and I joked around a lot. I was happy and I loved life, I loved everything around me and I had this urge to discover everything life had to offer me. I couldn’t stay put in one place for too long and I always had everything planned out, each step of mine—my life next to Yunho. The promises he made were still fresh in my mind, I could still remember them despite being it a long time ago—but perhaps it wasn’t long enough, I have suddenly come to the realization of it. It was hard to breathe again as my favorite moment with Yunho was suddenly too fresh in my mind, too easy to recall. We had gone to a movie he really wished to watch, something about a girl who had to pretend she was a boy in order to make it onto the university’s football team to get revenge on her ex, it was actually a re-run as the movie had come out a long time ago, but Yunho loved it and he really wanted to watch it at the cinema. Of course I went with him, I wanted to see the movie too because Yunho loved it. And what Yunho loved, I also did. It was an easy watch, lighthearted and cheesy and predictable, it didn’t surprise me that it was one of Yunho’s favorites. But once the movie was over Yunho wanted to get ice cream, and as someone who loves ice cream—mint choco is the best flavor, fight me—I was eager to go with Yunho. But our peace of mind didn’t last for long as it started raining cats and dogs in no time, forcing us to take shelter somewhere—except that we didn’t. Yunho pulled me out into the pouring rain and he made us dance, he acted out cheesy scenes from Dirty Dancing, raising me up and flipping me around clumsily, almost dropping me in the process not even once, making me shriek and clutch onto him for dear life. I have never laughed more in my life than that night and I have never felt more loved that in that moment. Yunho’s eyes were shining with so much warmth and happiness, it was also the first time he said the words. ‘I love you.’ I couldn’t tell whether it was the rain or happy tears on my cheeks, but the sudden clenching of my heart and overwhelming feeling in my chest made me flung my body against his, holding onto Yunho’s tall frame like my life depended on it. And in that moment, I knew—I knew that I also loved him. But I couldn’t say it, not yet, not when everything felt like it was too much, so instead, I pressed my lips against his pouty ones and smiled as Yunho started giggling, only to pick me up and twirl me around in excitement before asking me to hop on his back, only for him to take off running towards his house. It was my favorite memory of us, for various reasons, but perhaps the main one was because Yunho was so sincere in that moment. Because I couldn’t hear any doubt in his words like the other times he said that he loved me.
『Straight coats and empty cabinets
Ashes from all the mess you left
New lease without you
I confess that I'm happy you're gone』
I came to a stop as my phone buzzed in my pocket, mind hazy as I tried to shake off the memory which felt so alive in my head. I could almost see it playing out in front of myself. If I reached my hand out, I could almost touch Yunho—but he wasn’t here—and I was allowing myself once again to live in the past, a very bad habit of mine. I unlocked my phone after I crossed the road, the sidewalk littered with various shops, most of them already closed as it was almost ten now. I had been walking for twenty minutes without even realizing it. Looking down at my phone, I realized Instagram had sent me a notification that Seulgi posted a story after a while. She was probably at Outlaw still, watching Noir Zenith perform. I pressed on her story and it opened to show a close-up video of the three boys performing, the camera focusing on Wooyoung for a few seconds longer before it was moved away, zooming in on playfully on Mingi. I had the volume down, I couldn’t hear what he was singing, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he was leaning forward, mouth moving in a fast way as his eyes were half-closed, veins protruding on his neck, expression almost like he was angry, almost like feelings were overwhelming him as he held the microphone in his left hand tightly. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but I quickly pushed any thought of him away as I realized he was slightly…wet? His white shirt, the top buttons unbuttoned until they reached his chest stuck to his body and had turned almost see-through, but it didn’t seem like it bothered Mingi as he continued on performing. Heavy chains lay against the base of his throat and a blue sheer sunglass was sitting on his tall nose, almost sliding off of it as he was bobbing his head furiously to the music, his bass abandoned somewhere. As my eyes focused on the huge bracelet on his right hand and the blue and white scarf wrapped around his left wrist, both hands decorated with thick silver-colored rings, the video cut off. I remained unblinking for a second, eyebrows twitching as I realized Seulgi had posted the video not even half an hour ago. So…the band was still performing and…Mingi was looking like that. Suddenly I was glad I wasn’t there to witness him being all indecent and acting like a—something. I most certainly wouldn’t hear the endless praises if I were there and the constant screaming of his baboons—perhaps calling them his fangirls would sound nicer, but I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction—and with my current mood, that was the last thing I wanted to see and hear. Mingi was detestable and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of going to any of his other performances, finding them useless as I wasn’t even into their music. I started walking again, aware that the wind had picked up more, rustling the branches and leaves harsher, making me shiver in my underdressed state, reminding me that I should head home now. I said I wouldn’t stay out for too long, my thoughts seemed to have cleared just a little bit, besides, the cold air was enough to knock me out once I got to lay in my warm and comfortable bed.
『I don't care enough to miss you
After all the shit we've been through
My heart's comatose, comatose
I don't care enough to miss you
After all the shit we've been through
My heart's comatose, comatose』
However, the second I wanted to exit the app and put my phone away, a new story suddenly appeared in Seulgi’s spot and I gulped realizing who it was. Yunho’s happy and smiling face was taunting me in his profile picture, and before I could control myself, I pressed the icon, opening his story. The username Yuyu followed by a sunflower flashed for a second on the screen and then—and then everything around me stopped. There was no wind, there was no sound of cars passing by or people talking as they walked by me. It wasn’t cold anymore. My lungs failed me once again, but my mind went silent. Completely silent. There was a rumble in the distance, but I couldn’t say what it was. A girl, much smaller than him—and a lot cuter than myself—was laughing in the boomerang Yunho had posted, her black hair falling around her shoulders nicely, the white coat barely hiding the short lavender colored dress she was wearing. And Yunho—he looked so happy, he looked—whole. His face had gotten fuller, yet features sharper since the last time I had seen him. I have forgotten that I was still following him on Instagram. He had his arm around the girl’s shoulder and was actively pulling her into his side as he was smiling brightly too, his protruding front teeth showing as he had his eyes on the girl only. He had tagged her too and I was clicking on her name fast, before even thinking about what I was doing. Her profile was public and she had many posts. Most of herself, but there were some of the places she’s traveled to as well. But her most recent post—was with Yunho. The two sitting on a bench, then a selfie, and then a picture of the place they had been at, with the caption of: ‘Luckiest girl in the world!’ I gulped and closed the app, taking a deep breath, realizing that I had started shaking.
『You wasted all my fucking time
Were never really in my life
You were further than I could imagine
I love you, but fuck you』
Why did my legs feel like jelly all of a sudden? Why did the heaviness in my chest get even worse? Why was I reacting like this? It made no sense. Yunho broke up with me three years ago and I was over him. He hurt me more than anyone has before, but I was over him. I have let go; I have released the feelings I have felt for him. But then why did it bother me so much that he found happiness with someone else? Why did it leave a bitter taste in my mouth? Suddenly why was the green monster back and making me clutch my phone tightly in my hand? If he was able to find someone, to be happy again, why wasn’t I doing the same thing? Why was I incapable of loving? Of being loved? Of opening up and letting in new people? Why was I forcing myself to wallow in my own misery? Why was I punishing myself by constantly living in the past? What more could I want? Why did I still wish for Yunho to return and apologize for everything he’s done, for the gap he’s left in my heart? For the turmoil he’s caused in my head, for the ache that never really went away with his departure from my life? And it hit me lick a wall of bricks, that something was hitting my flaming cheeks. Another rumble, and I realized it was thunder. Head tilting back, I realized it was raining—pouring. Washing away the tears which were making my eyes burn. When did it start raining? Why did everything hurt so much? I couldn’t help the sudden sob which wracked my body as I put my phone in my pocket as a futile attempt to keep it dry as my clothes were getting drenched the longer I stood unmoving on the sidewalk. But my feet felt heavy, rendering me frozen to the spot. Nobody was outside anymore. I was alone. Just as always. No matter how many people cared for me, I was still alone in hurting, in dealing with the mess I was. And it hurt. It made me cry harder as I pressed a hand against my mouth, trying to muffle my pathetic sobs. But it felt good—so good to finally let it all out, to just finally allow the misery to come to the surface, to acknowledge that I couldn’t deal with these feelings anymore. My chest hurt, my heart ached, my throat was getting more and more restricting, lungs burning for air, but I couldn’t fully breathe, gasping for air caused by my violent sobs. But the wind was picking up again and my body started shivering, and I realized I couldn’t stand on the sidewalk anymore bawling my eyes out as I got drenched in rain.
So, I looked around and found a place open not too far up ahead and took off running towards it, trying to get the strands of hair out of my eyes as they stuck to my skin. The diner was small and still open, the big windows showed nobody inside besides the girl behind the counter. I didn’t consider the way I looked as I threw the door open and stepped inside, alerting the girl as the doorbell chimed. She looked up and for a second we stared at each other, her eyes widening as her eyes wandered all over my body, making me sniff. At least I wasn’t sobbing anymore, just heaving for air. I must’ve looked horrible as I took off towards a table in the back, closer to the restrooms, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel embarrassed over my appearance. I fell against the cushion of the bench and tried to regulate my breathing, biting my lower lip as I realized my eyes were burning and my skin was ice cold. I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to stand out in the rain, when it was so cold. I would most definitely catch a cold now and that was the last thing I needed right now, but it was due to my own stupidity. I wiped my face with my hands, which were slightly shaking, as the girl from the counter came over.
“Uh,” She shuffled around awkwardly as I looked at her, “Can I bring you anything? Or uh, help with anything?”
A slap in the face to wake me up to reality would possibly be the biggest help she could be offering right now—but I thankfully didn’t say to her. She already looked uncomfortable by not knowing how to react to my current state. I sniffed and went to reach for my wallet before I would look at the menu, I had no idea how much money I had on me. But I quickly realized I had only grabbed my phone before leaving, sitting inside a diner never being in the plan. So instead I went to check on my phone if I had any money on my card, but my phone wasn’t working. Nothing. No matter how much I pressed the button to start it, it didn’t work. Fuck, I forgot to charge it before stepping outside.
“Uh,” Now I felt embarrassed as I averted my eyes from the girl, “I don’t have any money.”
“Oh,” She sounded surprised, “Well, then…I mean, I don’t want to sound rude, but uh—I will have to ask you to leave, really, I have nothing against you, it’s just that—”
“Don’t worry,” I forced myself to smile as I looked up at her, her cheeks red from embarrassment of having to kick me out, “I get it. May I use the restroom before I leave?”
“Sure, of course!” The girl almost exclaimed as she pointed towards the little hallway which led to the restrooms, “But we’ll be closing in about fifteen minutes, so don’t stay inside for too long.”
“Yeah, I’ll just patch myself up a bit and then go on my way.” I muttered as the girl nodded silently and walked back to the counter while carefully watching me, making me roll my eyes. Okay, I might have been looking like a mess, but I wasn’t a walking bomb—no need for her careful gaze on me. It just made my blood boil as I tried not to stomp while I went inside the restroom, glad that I was alone inside. It was colder in here compared to the diner and I shivered as I realized the window was open. I headed towards the sink, eager to warm up my hands with a little warm water, but I gasped once I saw my reflections in the mirror. Jesus Christ, I looked horrible, no wonder the girl was looking at me like that and asking me to leave—even if the reason was me not having money on me. My hair stuck to my face and looked matted in certain spots. My cheeks were completely flushed with the tip of my nose red as well, and I had dark streaks running down underneath my eyes. I forgot to take off my eyeliner and mascara before going to bed and since they weren’t waterproof—here I was, looking like a character straight out of a fucking horror movie. I chuckled as I turned on the faucet and instantly sighed at the feeling of warm water against my hands, warming my freezing limbs a bit. I quickly gathered water in my palms and splashed it against my cheeks, warming them up as well, sighing in content. I was still shivering, my toes frozen, but this was helping.
『I don't care enough to miss you
After all the shit we've been through
My heart's comatose, comatose』
I let the warm water run as I ran my fingers through my hair, easing the knots in them and trying to make it look presentable as I basically brushed the wet strands back on my head, my hair already curling naturally. The next step was to get rid of the mascara and eyeliner streaks underneath my eyes and even cheek, so I quickly washed them off before turning the faucet off and grabbing some dry towel paper from the holder, drying off my face and hands. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, realizing that my chest felt so much lighter, there was nothing squeezing against my throat anymore.
“You’re fine,” I whispered to myself, gulping, “Fuck, you’ve got this, you’re okay, Y/N, you are okay. You’ve been pushing your feelings away for too long, of course they blew up in your face, you stupid bitch. I really have to stop doing this to myself, ugh—”
I rolled my eyes as I threw the used towel paper in the trash bin and then looked back at myself in the mirror, narrowing my eyes at myself and pointing a finger threateningly at my reflection, “Stop being a sappy bitch, alright? You’re better than this. Yunho’s got his shit together, why can’t you do the same, huh? Just go out there and find a fucking boyfriend, it’s not that hard—wait, no, actually don’t do that! I don’t need no man, got it? Got it.”
I nodded once firmly, a small grin forcing itself onto my lips, making me scoff at myself—sure, of course, bring Yunho into your peptalk, Y/N, very smart—but I just couldn’t help it. At least I was feeling better now, almost laughing at myself at how stupid I was as I stepped back and pulled my shoulders back, nodding at myself encouragingly. I got this! But now I had to run home in the pouring rain, that thought alone was enough to make me cry again, but I willed myself to stop. No more crying. No more sobbing—especially not because of the pouring rain. It was my mistake that I didn’t check the weather or bring an umbrella. I should’ve just gone to bed when I planned to, damn these stupid thoughts. With a last glance at myself, I decided that I was ready to leave the restroom and head home, my mother probably worried sick about me at this point since my phone wasn’t working either. I walked up to the door and grabbed the doorknob firmly, yanking it open a little bit too enthusiastically, but as I went to step outside, the male’s restroom door right across mine opened as well—and I paused, surprised.
Song Mingi was staring back at me just as surprised as I was.
❱❱ Next chapter
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Separation Anxiety (Chapter 10)
Put your lips on my scars and teach me to love
When a ritual separates Sukuna from Yuuji, Sukuna is delighted to find that besides having his own body, there is also another gift handed to him: The brat has lost all his memories and is now the perfect little plaything to take home and manipulate. At least, that's the plan. But the King of Curses isn't prepared for the feelings that come along with being human again. And another complication is how cute the brat is when he has no idea who Sukuna is and, instead of hating him, treats him with genuine love and affection. So, without realizing it, Sukuna suddenly finds himself on a journey of learning how to be loved and how to love.
++ Masterpost ++
Pairing: Sukuna x Yuuji
Genre: Memory Loss AU, fluff, smut, light angst
Word Count: 3k
Playlist: Separation Anxiety
Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of violence, dub-con (Yuuji has lost his memories, and Sukuna lies to him about being boyfriends). All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.
Chapter 10
I don't understand how your love can do what no one else can. Your love's got me looking so crazy right now.
(Crazy in Love by Eden Project)
The next few days make it painfully clear that somehow, during the last months, the boy managed to infiltrate a place inside Sukuna that he wasn't aware of until the brat managed to get himself injured and put a fear into Sukuna's heart, he had never known before.
It's quite unsettling. Inconvenient.
What did he do? He had wanted to get separated from the brat all the time while being trapped inside him. Sukuna had wanted his own body again, had wanted to break free from this perfect little cage that Kenjaku had created to imprison him. But the moment he had succeeded, he grabbed the boy and took him with him.
What did he do? Has he bound himself to Yuuji again?
Things are slipping out of his control increasingly, and it's concerning. This isn't what Sukuna planned. He had wanted to play his little twisted game where only he knew it was a game. He had wanted to lie and deceive his way into the brat's heart. He had wanted to bask in the cruel exhilaration of seeing the brat willingly on his knees for him. Had wanted to break him with this fake love. He had wanted the cruel pleasure of seeing the brat turn into his obedient little pet.
But somehow, he had imagined it differently. He didn't expect to feel so warm anytime Yuuji smiles at him with so much affection in those golden eyes. He didn't expect to feel protective when he saw the boy getting hurt. He didn't expect to feel lonely and cold when Yuuji is not around.
The doubts gnaw at him. Did he really turn Yuuji into his toy? Is that what he is? All those months, Sukuna was convinced this was the case. But do you hold a toy every night and cuddle it in the mornings? Do you try to read every wish from your toy's eyes just to make them smile and be happy?
Sukuna was so sure he was doing this out of sadistic pleasure. And it was that way in the beginning, at least. But somehow, things have mutated into something different.
Somehow, when Yuuji looks at him with a sweet smile on his face and nothing but love in his eyes while gently caressing the short hair at the nape of Sukuna's neck, Sukuna isn't sure anymore what this is.
Sometimes, it feels like Sukuna is drowning. Drowning in Yuuji's sweetness. In the sweet, syrupy feeling of his love. It feels like he is underwater, and he can't breathe. He knows he has to swim back to the surface again, but he can't move.
They are in the park again, taking an evening stroll, looking at the pumpkin figures lining the parkway. The air is thick this evening, loaded with almost tangible electricity. Sukuna can feel a tingle under his skin when he lifts his head to see the dark grey clouds gathering in the sky behind their apartment.
Thunder grumbles in the distance, and the first lightning flashes across the blackened sky when the first raindrops start falling.
It's an imposing scenery, carrying a fateful promise. Sukuna blinks, huffing at his thoughts. But he still reaches out to trail his fingers down Yuuji's back and let them come to rest on the small of the boy's back.
"Let's get back inside. All hell is going to break loose soon."
Yuuji chuckles softly as a big raindrop lands on Sukuna's nose. He grabs Sukuna's hand and starts running, pulling Sukuna with him as the rain gets heavier. Yuuji's laughter carries through the air, and his firm, warm hand never lets go of Sukuna until they have reached the entrance to their apartment building complex, both already drenched from the rain.
Yuuji laughs, which turns into a groan when Sukuna presses him against the elevator wall, claiming his lips in a hungry kiss. He doesn't know why he is so hungry for the boy right now, but something in him wants Yuuji so much that he doesn't see why he should rein his desires in.
When they enter the penthouse, the sky outside is completely black, dark clouds swallowing the rest of the daylight, bringing an early night that gets illuminated by flickering lightning streaking through the dark sky.
They leave the lights off, too busy kissing and tearing at each other's clothes as if they are filled with the same restless electricity as the thunderstorm raging outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of the penthouse.
Yuuji's hands are on Sukuna's shirt, pulling it up, strong fingers brushing over Sukuna's abs. His lips are soft and warm against Sukuna's, tasting sweet like the chocolate pumpkin muffin Sukuna bought for him in the park.
They stumble to the bedroom, undressing each other hastily on the way while still stealing kisses, as if they are two magnets drawn together, needing to be close, needing to touch and kiss and feel the other pressed against them at all times.
Sukuna thinks it might have something to do with the thunderstorm and the strange crackling in the air. Maybe it speaks to their souls. Maybe it tugs on the red string connecting them, pulling them closer, demanding them to devour each other, wanting to fill that hole in their souls that was left when they got separated.
He cannot explain the urgency of their kisses and touches otherwise. But he knows he has a hunger for the boy that cannot be stilled if he doesn't claim him right now.
They reach their bedroom, dropping the last items of clothing on the floor, groaning into their urgent kiss as their naked bodies press against each other, skin on skin, firm muscles flexing against each other, hard cocks touching.
Sukuna laughs softly when Yuuji places two strong hands on Sukuna's chest and pushes him, making the King of Curses fall backward onto the bed, where he lands on his back, sprawled out in all his naked glory on the soft silk sheets, looking up at his lover with amusement and arousal in his light blue eyes.
He likes it when the brat gets so needy for him that he uses his strength on Sukuna. The display of power is arousing. Itadori Yuuji is a worthy lover, strong and powerful. Sukuna's lips lift in a smirk as he watches the boy crawl on top of him, desire glowing in his golden eyes, muscles flexed, pre-cum dripping down onto Sukuna's abs.
He is beautiful, so beautiful in the way he craves Sukuna. It makes something in Sukuna's chest throb. His fingers tangle in soft pink hair as he pulls Yuuji down into another deep kiss, licking hungrily into his mouth.
The thunderstorm rages outside the floor-length windows, with thunder crashing loudly and rain pouring heavily from the sky and hitting the windows opposite the large bed.
Yuuji positions himself on Sukuna's lap, and a bolt of bright yellow lightning flashes over the sky behind him as he sinks down on Sukuna's cock, making both of them gasp.
There's something in the atmosphere tonight. Something is different. Something changed, but Sukuna can't put his finger on it. It's like he can feel the electricity of the lightning bolts curse through his body, making him more aware and feeling more awake than ever before.
He's breathing heavily, his hands gripping Yuuji's hips tightly, looking up at his lover curiously. Yuuji is riding him with so much abandon. Despite his initial urgency to get into bed with Sukuna, he is taking his time now, bouncing slowly on Sukuna's cock, taking him so deep anytime he sits down fully on him as if he wants to savor every second of their union.
He moans Sukuna's name, loud and sweet. His strong hands are on Sukuna's chest, bracing himself on the firm muscles, his nails digging slightly into Sukuna's skin, his cock twitching anytime he sinks down on Sukuna's cock.
He is so utterly devoted to Sukuna. So utterly his.
Sukuna can't help it. A long, low moan finds its way out of his mouth, and his hips buck. He rolls them upwards slowly, fucking into Yuuji, his moans growing louder.
He doesn't find it in himself to hold back tonight. He can't remember why he should.
"Yuuji... Yuuji."
Sukuna has lived for over a thousand years, but this is the first time he finds himself moaning someone's name.
It falls from his lips like a prayer, like he is kneeling in his temple, asking the Gods for their favor. But he can't find anything wrong with this. It sounds so right to his ears. Isn't this how things were always meant to be between him and Yuuji? Isn't this what fate has written on the pages of both their life stories in blood-red ink? They were meant to find each other. They were meant to be bound together for all eternity.
Yuuji cries out softly, fingers digging into Sukuna's pecs, as he lifts himself up and down on Sukuna's hard length, so thorough, so sweet, so passionate.
The praise falls naturally from Sukuna's lips as he looks up at this lover.
"You're riding me so sweetly, baby. Such a sweet boy."
And Yuuji clenches around him, crying out softly,
"Ah! Ah! Kuna...I... I love you, baby! Oh god..."
It's so cute how he reacts to Sukuna's praise, dripping more pre-cum on his abs, tightening around him, mewling and sobbing Sukuna's name.
And Sukuna wonders why he didn't try to claim the boy sooner. Why did he never see the potential? Why did he never see how good they are together? All those wasted years. All that time tormenting the brat when he could have had him bouncing on his cock and moaning his name!
Sukuna's mind is hazy, clouded by pleasure, hypnotized by the loud thunder cracking outside the window and the rain drumming rhythmically against the floor-to-ceiling windows.
A strange warmth is making its home in his chest. His hands tighten on Yuuji's hips as he is suddenly overcome by the need to claim.
Sukuna flips them over quickly, eliciting a surprised gasp from Yuuji, but it turns into another loud, needy moan when Sukuna pushes his cock into him again. Yuuji welcomes him instantly, wrapping his legs around Sukuna's hips, tangling his fingers in his hair, and moaning loudly as he throws his head back on the silk pillow.
Sukuna rolls his hips slowly, fucking into his boy deep and through, making sure to take it slow and sweet, just like Yuuji did when worshipping his cock a moment ago.
Yuuji is writhing beneath him, head thrown back, tousled pink hair spread over the black silk pillow. His eyes are closed, mouth opening in soft moans of Sukuna's name.
His legs are wrapped around Sukuna's hips tightly, hands wandering aimlessly over Sukuna's back. It's cute how lost in pleasure he is. Finally, one hand finds its way into Sukuna's hair and twists it in his fist. The other is digging into Sukuna's back almost painfully. Clinging to him, so desperate for him, so needy. It makes Sukuna's head spin, and the warmth in his chest increases to an almost burning sensation.
But he forces himself to keep the slow pace. He wants it to be a slow fuck. Wants it to be intense. Special. He wants to see his power over the boy, needs to wrap himself in it.
"Yuuji. Look at me."
He realizes it's a mistake as soon as Yuuji opens his eyes. Love, desire, and adoration look back at him, so powerful that it makes Sukuna's eyes widen. It feels like he is getting consumed by the fire burning in his chest, right where their souls were connected before the separation.
Yuuji's strong legs tighten around Sukuna's hips, and his fingers dig into the muscles on Sukuna's back as a row of needy whines escapes the boy's lips.
"Feels so good, baby!! Ah, Sukuna! You're making such sweet love to me tonight!"
Sukuna's hips stutter, cock twitching deep inside the boy as realization washes over him. It's true. They aren't fucking. They're making love. That's what this is, right? Is it part of the act? Yuuji craves this, so Sukuna gives it to him to make it look like what they have is real? But somehow, the explanation sounds wrong.
"You're so beautiful, baby."
The words have left Sukuna's mouth without him planning them. They are both an act and the truth. If that's even possible. Sukuna's brain is foggy. The thunderstorm, this burning sensation in his chest, the enticing look in Yuuji's eyes...
Another loud moan escapes Sukuna's lips, and a raw emotion takes hold of him. This one is familiar, at least. Possessiveness. Red, hot, and velvety.
"Mine," he growls as he snaps his hips again, pushing deep into Yuuji.
A desperate-sounding sob escapes the boy's lips. His hands slide down Sukuna's back to land on his ass, nails digging into the taut flesh as if he's trying to get Sukuna even deeper into him.
"Yes, yes! I'm yours, Sukuna. Only yours."
Those words would be enough to satisfy the hunger raging in Sukuna's blood. But Yuuji continues. His voice is raspy, thick with emotion when he says the next words,
"I'll be yours forever. And you'll always be mine, too."
Another lightning bolt lights up the sky behind them, its light flickering over Yuuji's pretty face. His eyes glow golden like two full moons as he looks deeply into Sukuna's eyes, eyelashes fluttering as he cries out, and his body tenses up under Sukuna. His hot cum hits Sukuna's abs and chest, painting his skin with Yuuji's claim on him.
Thunder rumbles loudly, and Sukuna feels himself falling. Falling into Yuuji, falling into his warmth and love that is so all-consuming and powerful, he feels himself getting dragged under. A broken moan escapes his lips as his hips press tightly against the boy, body shuddering in pleasure, his face buried in Yuuji's neck, teeth grazing his skin when he mutters,
"Yes, I'm yours, Yuuji. Oh fuck, baby!"
His orgasm floods all his senses, making him moan uncontrollably as his cock pulses inside Yuuji, giving the boy every single drop of his seed, fucking it deep into him.
It is only when his cock stops twitching, and his breathing calms that Sukuna feels a sudden worry tug at his mind. As if he is finally able to hear an alarm bell ringing over the loud crashes of thunder. An increasing dread slowly taking hold of him.
Something went horribly wrong.
The whole weight of his words crashes down on Sukuna.
I'm yours, Yuuji.
What did he do?
This isn't how this was planned! Of course, Yuuji is his. Of course, the boy belongs to Sukuna! That is as clear as day! But now Sukuna is Yuuji's too? This isn't how things are supposed to go!
Did he make a vow with the boy?
To his horror, Sukuna knows the answer to that. Yes, he did. He bound himself to Yuuji. But what's even more terrifying is that little voice in the back of his mind that whispers to him that this shouldn't come as such a surprise to him.
And Sukuna realizes with a terrible sinking feeling that it is true. He is Yuuji's. He probably has been Yuuji's for a while.
Somehow, at some point in the last few months, their dynamic must have shifted. It must have happened gradually, so Sukuna didn't realize it while it was happening. As if the tables were turned, and he was the prey that was unknowingly getting stalked by a predator who followed him around patiently until he finally could dig his claws into him.
It must have been the movie nights, the dinners, the meals and sweet treats Yuuji cooked and baked for him, the loud laughs, the golden eyes full of genuine affection and love, the morning runs, the visits to the shrine, the nights in each other's arms. All those small things must have added up until they became so powerful they managed to tear Sukuna's walls down.
Yuuji is Sukuna's. But Sukuna is Yuuji's too.
And just like that, Sukuna's world shatters.
His plan seemed so flawless. It was all just a little fun, a cruel entertainment for the King. But without realizing it, at some point, he apparently began to play himself.
Thunder crashes so loudly behind him that Sukuna thinks he can feel the whole room vibrate.
Sukuna lifts his head off Yuuij's shoulder to stare at him with wide blue eyes that must show the terror he feels. But Yuuji is oblivious to it. He is beaming up at Sukuna, golden eyes full of love, his smile as dazzling and warm as the sun.
He puts a hand on Sukuna's cheek, cupping his face tenderly and caressing it with so much care and love.
"That was amazing, baby. I love you… Can we please stay like that? I want to feel you inside me a bit longer."
All Sukuna can do is nod slightly as he still stares into those terrifyingly warm golden eyes while in his head, he is screaming at the brat,
What did you do to me?? What did you do??
Oh, the sweet moment when our King realizes he is fucked ;)
Thank you so much for reading!! I am sorry that it took me so long to post this chapter. I was working on my Halloween stories, so I had to put Separation Anxiety on a short break, but now I can focus on it again.
The cover version of "Crazy in Love" by Eden Project had a huge effect on me the first time I discovered it. I immediately saw this sex scene between Yuuji and Sukuna playing in my mind. So, this scene was one of the first ones I wrote for this AU. It was so important to me that I saved it in a separate file. So yeah, it is a big thing for me that I could finally publish this scene!! I hope you liked it and could see the scene in your head too.
Thank you so much for your patience. It means so much to me that people read this story and enjoy it!!
Please let me know what you think about this chapter. Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.
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