#and i had a thing about vampires that went hard. i was in a phase of writing super stylised stream of consciousness that was very fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vickyvicarious · 7 months

Text

under the cut for length again

I do love the way Renfield manages Seward

"I had to go and see my.. patient" WHY THE PAUSE

everyone wants to meet Renfield! I sure do wish everyone actually got to (Jonathan glitch so annoying here)

"By the way... you have not introduced me." I love his line delivery. EVERY TIME.

there's nothing odd about introducing him at all Seward! stop it!

Oh man, Arthur's probably tearing up hearing his dad praised

Renfield's manners are so nice when he wants them to be

Oh man the edge of repressed urgency in Renfield's voice when he's talking about "here--now--" etc. He's trying so hard to get the urgency of his message across but also not to be too intensely pleading or vehement lest he come across as mad when he's very deliberately trying to appear extremely sane. It's such a tightrope

"Then I suppose I must only.. shift... my ground of request." Oh man this line is so sad.

HE'S TRYING SO HARD. The little almost shake on "they are good ones" auughhh

"I had a growing conviction that this sudden change of his entire intellectual method was but yet another form or phase of his madness," and there it is, exactly what he feared. he showed emotion and Seward immediately went 'oh well there's the madness'

he can't speak. he can't speak! aghhhhhhh

"if I were free to speak I should not hesitate a moment; but I am not my own master in the matter." HE IS HINTING TO YOU WHAT HE CAN LET SLIP.

"As he saw that the very excess of his emotion was militating against him, by restoring us more to our old relations, he became still more demonstrative." I HATE THIS

and he doesn't know what else to do, he's tried being reasonable, being clever, being genuinely emotional, none of it works, so he cries and begs and that fails too

the music when he says "I did what I could to convince you tonight" and the WAY he says that

Quincey speaking for Renfield is nice. I wish it changed matters.

Seward making the connection to "master" but not in the way Renfield was trying to get him to

ART. I know what you're up to and I love you for it. I imagine he slipped away as soon as Jack mentioned Dracula having 'wolves and rats' (though of course he had to prepare for this earlier by bringing them here)

van Helsing moving to protect Jonathan first with the crucifix, flowers, lamp, wafer, is so sweet. Sure, he's closest, but also... he's been preyed upon by this particular vampire before, and perhaps might need the protection all the more if he's recognized.

everyone shrinking back at first!

I imagine Jonathan watching the lock very closely as van Helsing tries it

oof, Jonathan's voice shaking a little on "grim surroundings" and "just as I felt myself doing". Also him kind of rushing and pausing in his speech... he's so tense and trying so hard to keep it together

Footsteps in the dust? Is that the workers bringing boxes in... or Dracula setting a trap? after all, he doesn't leave footprints

everyone choking up and saying like "oh great god" in disgust at the smell is so funny

meanwhile Jonathan is disgusted but recognizes it

"corruption had, itself, become corrupt" I looove the way he says this line

Jonathan's panic at noticing Dracula in the hallway! Also I love so much that he and Arthur both spot him... even if they dismiss the idea

ART'S BIG HERO MOMENT (again)

the skittery rat noises are so fun.

"They seemed to swarm over the place all at once, till the lamplight, shining on their moving dark bodies and glittering, baleful eyes, made the place look like a bank of earth set with fireflies." NOT fun. such a creepy image

Art hand-delivering his dogs to do their rat-murder <3

the dog noises are altogether cuter than I expected. Like I anticipated cuteness but also violent snarls but nah they're just having fun here

stop congratulating yourself on leaving Mina out ughhh

van Helsing saying "for the stake of human souls" feels very intentional...

"needless thoughts of pain" is SUCH an interesting (frustrating) thing for Jonathan to think, given all his experiences.

"It is too great a strain for a woman to bear. I did not think so at first, but I know better now." BOOO don't do it Jonathan don't let yourself be convinced

ughhh

Jonathan don't sleep on a sofa, only bad things happen when you do!

"for a few seconds she did not recognize me, but looked at me with a sort of blank terror," oh god

and van Helsing is still up before otheres. when does this man REST

"When our sane and learned lunatic made that very statement of how he used to consume life, his mouth was actually nauseous with the flies and spiders which he had eaten just before Mrs. Harker entered the room." and what about it. he had finished eating them when he said it. he never specified how long ago he used to eat them.

Renfield dissing van Helsing to his face is excellent. I absoluetley love the delivery of "I wish you would take yourself and your idiotic brain theories... somewhere else."

stop congratulating yourself on leaving Mina out!!!!

god, Mina sound so sad about Jonathan not confiding in her. It's hurting them both, but her so muchhhhh I hate it. SHE'S CRYING ABOUT IT

Mina determined to keep her journal for Jonathan to read while knowing he is hiding things from her is so sad

no no no no no honey don't you dare blame yourself, no no... god the way her voice rushes through all the blame and then just breaks down into sobs I HATE IT

oh god Mina hearing the dogs and Renfield :( oh god oh god it's SO AWFUL to hear the muffled yells

Mina's 'nightmare' is so damn scary

"(It is wonderful what tricks our dreams play us, and how conveniently we can imagine.)" the way she tries to drag herself out of her terror at the memory and convince herself it's nothing, but it doesn't work and she sinks back in to the nightmare

Mina realized but it was too late and then she dismissed it in the morning. god. I hate it.

"The very prospect of beer which my expected coming had opened to him had proved too much, and he had begun too early on his expected debauch." oh my goddddd

Jonathan figuring out that Dracula is trying to spread out his boxes!

I love Smollet, such a reliable guy

Jonathan letting the kid keep the change. :)

Jonathan instantly recognizing that Mina has been crying

OH MAN the way he is SO hesitant and working himself up SO much to try and keep quiet to her still

"It is better to be disappointed and worried in such a way now than to have her nerve broken." especially makes me sad. he doesn't want her to break like he did

Renfield making references that go over Seward's head and embarrass him <3

so then he gets stern and distressed Renfield

OH the way he says "like you Dr. Seward" is so creepy. and the following line as well!

"Ordinarily I would not have come without special reason," you LIAR you are always running after him to see what he's up to

"Renfield might not speak so freely before a third person as when he and I were alone." literally yesterday you were astounded at him talking better to all third parties than to you. is this genuine or just possessive?

"to "be cruel only to be kind." dammit now the song is in my head

"I thought I would enter into his mind as well as I could and go with him" you are not the best at that Seward. I can think of others who are much better.

augh I have many feelings about Renfield.

Seward seems so scared of him, or at least SO ready with the straighjacket. I hate it, especially when he was pushing him to try and stress him out in the first place

THE MUSIC when Seward realizes Dracula has seen Renfield

Renfield's song is killing meee

ahh, I see the timetraveling mail has been discreetly fixed in the podcast. definitely a more haunting not to end on with Renfield singing

#dracula daily #re: dracula #renfield #jack seward #mina murray #jonathan harker #arthur holmwood

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honeykngdom · 8 months

Text

𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 | 𝚎. 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 | ��𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

Pairing: Embry Call x Original Character Summary: Join Ainsley and Embry as they embark on a journey where they are forced to question everything they thought they knew, and embrace the pain that is inevitable to avoid in love. An imprint story. Self-discovery. Angst and romance. Word Count: 5.2k Warnings: N/A Taglist: @leilaniers - message / comment if you'd like to be tagged in new chapters (or for Embry content in general)! prev. chapter

Several weeks went by like that. Once a week, I would tell Embry that I was heading to work but would detour to the Cullen household instead. Alice and I would often coordinate together to make sure that Jacob and Renesmee weren’t in the area before I showed up. Keeping them in the dark for now still seemed like it was our best option – Jacob wouldn’t be able to withhold it from Embry even if he wanted to. In between working at the diner and helping Maddox push the boundaries of his control, I spent every ounce of my free time with Embry and the boys.

So many parts of me felt guilty for lying to him – especially when he had been putting forward more effort to fit into my life.

The pair of us visited home once every other week to have breakfast or dinner with my family. Embry and the pack spent more time trying including my brothers, which helped integrate them into the pack in their own unique way. It was nice to have Travis part of the mix now, but I still worried that he might get hurt. Understandably so, Sam still had reservations when it came to some of the younger members, but as long as we kept it within the main ranks, he seemed satisfied. With the tension growing thicker between the pack and the obvious need to find the nomads, everyone’s control had not been the greatest. Jacob and Embry had gotten into it a few times, even Seth and Quil were more on edge.

I asked a few times about his mother – she had remarried and moved off the reservation to Tacoma. Had a second child now that Embry was independent and a man of his own. For the most part, Embry didn’t speak much about her. Part of me found it incredibly sad; Quil had explained that Tiffany had been incredibly upset and scared during their teen years when the pack first began phasing. Unlike Billy and Sue, Tiffany had no idea about the tribe’s legends, or that there was any possibility they may hold any semblance of truth. Embry was never able to tell Tiffany the truth about what was going on, and the distance put a heavy strain on their relationship.

“When’s the last time he went to see her?”

Quil shrugged, “Not really sure. Christmas a couple years ago, maybe?”

Vague, but that was Quil. Sure, it wasn’t my place to meddle, but Embry had given me such a hard time about maintaining a relationship with my own mother that I thought it was a little hypocritical that he hardly maintained one with his own.

Christmas came and went; Embry opted to ‘gift’ me quite a few things, including an actual coffee machine for his kitchen, as well as a pretty white gold chain with a sterling crescent moon cut out. We spent most of our time together on his new couch (which he purchased a few days after he attempted to sleep on the loveseat following my initial run in with Maddox) wrapped in each other's arms with the fireplace going.

Each week, Maddox would return to the Cullen’s with more accurate locations on the safehouses for any vampire Garrett turned, making a total of five by the time the new year had come. Edward would inform Jacob regarding their locations, trying to make it seem as though Alice had seen it in a vision while following the female nomad – Jacob would bring the news home to the others; they then tore through each house one by one tear and destroyed whatever nomad kept residence.

I tried not to think about it too much. If I got too caught up in the semantics, things always got bad.

There were only three nomads that remained, apart from Maddox. The closer the pack got to taking out the threat, the more uneasy things began to feel at home. Emily was nearing six months into her second pregnancy – bloated and hormonal as ever, causing quite a bit of strain on the pack's eating habits as she was more tired and more hungry. She cared less about feeding everyone else, moreso intent on getting food into her own belly. With no definitive place to gather at, the pack had dispersed their separate ways and only saw each other twice a week as opposed to every day.

Jared and Kim’s wedding was right around the corner, so the pair had been hellbent on having Embry and I help them with the finishing touches. Kim and I spent many late nights and early mornings camping out in Embry and Jacob’s living room, making sure we had a final head count on those invited to the wedding.

When it was mentioned that I was still waiting on the Cullen’s to RSVP, I made sure Kim knew I would have Jacob ask to confirm. We were two weeks into January now – Jacob’s birthday had finally come around. Being the first of his friends to turn twenty-five was a big deal for him, and so the group had collectively pulled together what they were sure was the ultimate birthday experience. After what appeared to be a heart-felt dinner celebration, the boys prompted Jacob into a blindfold and carried him out to Paul’s truck

“We’re taking him to a strip club.” Jared said casually, pulling out a wad of bills larger than I had ever laid eyes on.

“A strip club.” I repeated, watching Paul nod excitedly.

“We did this for my birthday last year – lots of lap dances, lots of booze –”

“I see.” I shared a knowing look with Kim, the pair returning to their post-food comatose on Embry’s couch. Kim had agreed to stay the night with me, knowing the boys would not be home until the early hours of the morning and much to everyone’s dismay, Maddox was still unaccounted for.

The idea that a vampire that had previous connections with his imprint was still out made Embry a little uneasy – the longer the pack went without catching his scent, the more erratic he became. I was being babysat as per Embry’s instruction – the only person that knew of Maddox’s whereabouts apart from myself was Trenton.

Speaking of.

“Are you bringing my brothers?” I asked, shrugging my arms into the sleeves of Embry’s heather gray hoodie.

“Hell yeah,” Jared laughed. “Travis was the one who really pushed for it.”

“That’s because Travis is lonely and miserable while the rest of us have hot as fuck girlfriends.” Embry cooed as he joined us in the living room, leaning over the back of the couch to press his mouth against mine. He enticed a quiet hum from my chest when he sucked on my lower lip.

“Be nice.” I mumbled against his lips, smiling nonetheless.

When the men left for the evening, Kim and I sat curled up on our respective sides of the couch, scrolling through our phones. Undoubtedly, Jared messaged Kim just as quickly as Embry messaged me. We spent what appeared to be well over an hour in silence before I lazily pulled the remote from the coffee table and flipped on the television.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be a wife.” Kim said into the quiet room suddenly.

I blinked slowly, shifting my eyes to look over at her. She sat upright, eyes wide with a sort of fear. I was sure this was where I was supposed to say something soothing and reassuring but honestly, I couldn’t believe it either.

Kim and Jared were the least serious couple of the group – which made them the best sort of couple to me. Watching them crack jokes and pull pranks on each other was my favourite pastime – but I knew how marriages worked. They pulled some people apart. And I wanted to believe that wouldn’t happen to them, but I knew there was a chance. Nothing was impossible.

“I can’t believe you’re marrying Jared.” I retorted, turning my attention back to the television. “He’s an adult, male version of Claire –”

“Exactly!” Kim huffed, shaking her head. “Ains, what am I gonna do? I can’t be a wife, I barely know how to cook.”

“Doesn’t Jared?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you don’t have to cook.” I said simply.

Kim deadpanned, mouth slightly ajar as I pulled the wrapper off another holiday mint and popped it into my mouth. “How can you say that?”

I shrugged, shoving my hands into the pocket in the front of the hoodie. “Embry does all the cooking.”

“You don’t help?”

I rolled my eyes, flipping onto my back. “Of course I will help. I just don’t do the cooking – I clean, I do laundry, I wash dishes. I help Emb and Jake make sure the property tax is paid on time and that bills are kept up with – that sort of thing. You’re already doing most of that on your own, anyway.”

Kim let it all process, chewing on her lower lip. “I don’t want to live with a boy. He’s so messy!”

I could only laugh. “It’s less scary than you think, though I’m not the one with a ring on her finger.”

“Easy for you to say – Embry makes more money than Jared does. You’re both sitting on a nice, fluffy cushion of savings, and have the luxury of personal space. Jared’s losing his shit and can barely afford the place he has now.”

“What’s wrong with Jared’s place?”

Kim rubbed her face with her tired hands. “He lives in a very small, very tight one bedroom apartment. We’re both going to be stuck in a very cramped area for a solid year before we can even think about moving out.”

“It won’t be so bad –”

“Embry and Jacob have this entire two story house, Ains. That’s not exactly something people making ends meet have the luxury of owning. You’re already doing better than most people in their thirties.”

I tried to process that information. It hadn’t fully dawned on me that Embry and I were better off than most of their brothers – and hadn’t realized that Kim and Jared were digging themselves a hole. They were one foot in the door to being in debt, and I was stressing out about not having any spending money after paying off next year's tuition.

“Then why get married right now?”

Kim sighed loudly, shaking her head again, this time with a smile that screamed ‘isn’t it obvious?’. “Because I love him.”

“Okay,” I lamented, sitting up, “and he loves you. And that isn’t going to change – in twenty years from now, you’ll still love him and he’ll still love you.”

“Stop being right,” Kim grumbled, pushing my shoulders so that I fell back into the couch, “can you make a stupid decision so the rest of us don’t feel so brain dead?”

I forced a smile. “I’m already making plenty of bad decisions, Kim.” Just none that you can know about.

𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚋

Jacob nestled into his corner of the couch, watching as Rosalie ran her fingers through Renesmee’s hair; the trio had been cooped up in the Cullen household all morning. Fork’s was covered under a near constant stream of storm clouds that had yet to let up long enough for him to return home on terms that Nessie deemed ‘safe’. He chalked it up to her wanting some more time with him – which he was always willing to give. In the last seven years, she had grown into quite the remarkable individual. While being incredibly strange to the others in her life, she had a charm that Jacob was certain would bring her sunshine even on the dreariest of days.

Bella and Jacob spent many conversations discussing what they considered appropriate in regards to his relationship with Renesmee. Jacob agreed that it seemed beyond normal to expect anything other than a friendship from her daughter. Regardless of what the Elders might have believed, Jake couldn’t see past the babyface. There was a small part of him that didn’t sit well at the thought of trying to pursue a romantic relationship with her; he genuinely feared there might be a day when Renesemee asked for more, and he wouldn’t be able to refuse. That his genes wouldn’t allow him — they had taken so much autonomy from his as it was.

Instead, Jacob made a vow to be the shoulder to cry on when boys attempted to break her big heart. He would be her best friend and protector – and he would love her unconditionally and always think of her safety and comfortability above all else. He was perfectly content watching over what he considered his family. But that was where it ended – there was nothing romantic about it, or to come of it. He needed to be sure of it, so much so that no one had referred to Renesmee as his ‘imprint’ since her first few months of life.

Small pale fingers touched his knee, pulling his sight into a tunnel before images played in fast-forward: circling glimpses of Ainsley and Emily, along with the unspoken question of their well-being led Jacob to believe that Nessie missed the reservation, and had not felt wanted or welcome since Thanksgiving. The last Nessie had heard from Ainsley was a few weeks ago, just before Christmas. She had gotten a phone call, asking where the Cullen’s resided, mentioning something about wanting to come see her – to apologize.

Ainsley had never shown up.

Jacob had apologized for his cousin's ignorance many times – tried to explain on multiple occasions that Ainsley just hadn’t known about anything. Despite that knowledge, Edward and Bella still believed it would be better if Renesmee remained on their side of the border.

This resulted in Jacob’s absence at home – which he soon realized was putting strain on the rest of the pack. Everyone withdrew into their own personal lives again, just when things were finally beginning to look normal. It was so nice, having everyone together all the time. He remembered a time when he hated spending every waking second with a group of rowdy, immature boys but he longed for those days all the time now. The only reason why they had fallen back into old habits was because of Ainsley and Embry – a sort of means to help her feel inclusive. Especially after Embry’s shitshow.

It appeared as though Ainsley was tougher than everyone gave her credit for. She handled Embry’s temper like a champ, dutifully stepping up to the plate when the others fell short. Acted as a mother hen whenever Emily couldn’t be bothered to scold or bake for the group. But even that had become daunting. In between working and trying to keep up with everyone in her life – the pack and her own family, Jacob could see the strain and exhaustion in Ainsley’s eyes.

Things would’ve been different now, he’d tell himself. If he could just bring Nessie back to the reservation, if they’d just let him, he could pull everyone back together again.

He offered his best friend a sad smile, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a tight squeeze. “I’m sure you’ll see them soon.” He promised.

“C’mon, Ness,” Rose said quietly, urging her to stand, “let’s get you something to eat.”

“What about me?” Jacob complained, watching Nessie disappear into the kitchen.

Rosalie looked over her shoulder, the corner of her mouth upturned in an exhausted smile. “You can fend for yourself, Jacob. You’re no stranger to our kitchen.”

The wolf scoffed, turning his attention back to the television mounted to the wall. The news was muted, the screen split between the terrors that were turning Seattle upside down for the second time this decade, along with whatever college basketball game was playing in the local area. From his peripheral vision, Jake caught the figure of a stranger trudging up the driveway.

It wasn’t until said visitor started taking the steps at the front door two at a time that Jacob stood and rushed down the stairs. Obscene anger and rage filled his body, a searing heat bubbling at the surface. The part of him that needed to ensure Renesmee’s safety overtook his judgement. The scent filled the room before the door had even had a chance to open – Jacob’s hands pressed flat against their shoulders and shoved them hard, sending the body flying back a few several feet.

The man’s response was automatic: cold hands gripped his throat tightly, the growl rising from somewhere deep within both their chests. The sounds clashed together, so different but with the same underlying warning. Jacob clenched his fist around one of the vampire's wrists, pulling roughly with a loud snarl, twisting the figure away. Just as quickly, Jacob found himself being hoisted up – not by much – before his body came crashing down on the cement of the stairs, the brick crumbling under his weight and the sheer force of the impact. Jacob heaved in air, desperately trying to breath around the vice grip on his throat; it wasn’t until he really looked at the intruder that he stopped struggling.

His face was smooth except for the slight stubble that permanently resided on his lower face. His hair fell in loose waves, framing his squared jaw in that sort of subtly perfect way. Every fiber in Jacob’s body, every vein screamed in protest as his scent overwhelmed him. Over some time, he had grown accustomed to the stench of the Cullen’s, but his was different.

Familiar, but different.

Jacob thought back, trying to pinpoint where he had picked up on the scent before. Jasper was pulling the man – Maddox, as he called himself – away from Jacob’s limp body, his mind swirling when Renesmee placed her hands on his shoulders, worry and anxiety filling his mind.

Jacob shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head quickly as though to clear her thoughts from his head. He had definitely caught this scent before. Not from patrol. Not from a local bar. Not from the diner –

The diner.

Ainsley.

His eyes shot open, frame bolting forward as quickly as he could manage, tremor rolling down his spine as he collided with the nomad’s body and sent him backwards again – this time far enough that he disappeared momentarily into the underbrush of the forest.

“What’s he doing here?” Jacob growled.

Maddox stood slowly, readjusting his jacket, amber eyes locked on Jacob’s heaving frame. “Control your guard dog, would you?” He muttered to Jasper, picking a leaf out of his hair.

“I thought you said you didn’t know where the nomads were.” Jacob accused with heavy disappointment, looking down at Renesmee. She shrugged under the weight of his gaze, seeming just as confused as Jacob.

“He’s not the problem, Jake.” Jasper said quickly, holding out one hand as a means of halting Jacob from moving forward. “He came to Carlisle for help. That’s all we’re trying to do.”

“Yeah, expand the family a little more, it’s not like you’re big enough already.” Jacob spat, pulling his lips back over his teeth. “It’s not like the large quantity hasn’t already put enough strain on us before. What’s a few more kids, huh?”

“Jacob …”

“There are seventeen of us,” he growled, taking a step to the side, “half of them are trying to stop it from happening again, some of them left altogether, and the rest of us are trying to settle down and start our lives.”

“We didn’t turn him –”

“This wasn’t part of the agreement.” Chief Jacob was slowly starting to break out of shell. Very rarely did Jacob like being the alpha – more so settled into the role because Sam had made a definitive decision to leave it behind. It had been two years since Sam had last phased – two years until the night the nomads crossed onto their land. No one was entirely certain how long it would take to break the bond – Sam stopped after expecting his first child, but now would have to start all over again.

Not exactly the stress Emily needed.

“Jacob.” The wolf tensed, halting his feet from moving as Carlisle came down past the ruins of the stairs and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Allow us to explain. Please.”

After an hour of arguments and several hand tremors, Jacob was finally seated in the living room, watching Maddox carefully. So, he had sought out help for control. So, he didn’t want to be a vampire. So, he didn’t anticipate all of the downfalls to being an immortal bloodsucking killer – what a shocker. That didn’t excuse that Jacob couldn't trust his loyalty.

“And no one knows?” He asked again, squinting his eyes at Maddox.

The vampire’s facial features remained smooth and even, his head tilting to the side, “None of the dogs know, no.”

“Would you stop calling us that?”

“Would you stop trying to find a loophole so you can kill me?” Maddox asked angrily, leaning forward with his knuckles on his knees.

Jacob growled inwardly, pulling his eyes away from Maddox. Nessie sat on the other side of the couch, her legs folded under her, her arms wrapped around one of the throw pillows. He could see the wheels in her tiny, brilliant mind turning. She was trying to piece it all together, trying to pinpoint exactly what fit and didn’t. What was a lie and what was the truth.

“Speak your mind, kiddo.” Jacob encouraged, folding his arms across his broad chest.

She shook her head, gnawing on her lower lip – a human Bella trait she had picked up in the last few years – and sighed. “It doesn’t add up.” Renesmee was looking at Maddox now, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “How did you find us? We’re not exactly easily accessible.”

His amber eyes darted up from the frayed string of his shirt to meet her eyes. He took a few moments before he responded. “I had an inside friend help.”

Renesmee’s brows pulled together in frustration, letting out a petulant sigh. “We do have a lot of friends …” She mused to herself, still working to fit two and two together.

“Give it up.” Maddox suggested angrily, pushing himself up out of the recliner.

Jacob shot him a look in warning. “We’re just trying to piece it together –”

His voice boomed, overpowering Jacob’s easily. “Trust me when I say that you, of all people, do not want to know.” There was a certainty to his look. The way his eyes hardened in a definitive way. The way that halted the conversation. Jacob knew that look – Jacob had mastered that look.

“What do you mean ‘me of all people?” Apparently Jacob was going to play Paul today – asking useless questions, taking personal offense to the nomads words.

“It’s just in your best interest to not know, that’s all.”

“Oh, bullshit.” Jacob bit back, rising to his own two feet. “If you want an in with this family, you’re going to have to get used to letting me in, bloodsucker.”

“I don’t owe you anything.” Maddox laughed, tucking his hair behind his ears. “Cute that you think so.”

“Jake –”

“Dude, you seriously need to start talking or I’m going to find a loophole –”

“Jake, stop it –”

“-- and I’m going to rip your head off –”

“Jacob, enough –”

“-- and deliver it on a silver platter to my brothers –”

“Jacob!”

“What?” His voice boomed, eyes glowering over to where Renesmee sat, watching the pair anxiously.

She licked her lips, looking over at Carlisle before she looked past Jacob to Maddox. She took a deep breath, and then sighed. “Ainsley brought him here.”

Jacob’s face contorted, his brows pulling together and up, confusion littering his face. “What? No she didn’t.”

“Think about it.”

“I know Ains, okay? She wouldn’t help this scumbag –” Jacob paused.

His thoughts snapped back to the afternoon that started the mad-leech hunt. The night before the babyshower. The night Ainsley had come home reeking of one of the leeches, the night Trent had muttered something about how she had tolerated sitting with a scumbag.

“Maddox.” He whispered quietly, the last of the puzzle pieces falling together. He lifted his eyes to meet the vampire’s, his face crumpling as guilt registered across the other's face. “She brought you here.”

“I asked her to.”

“Why?” Jacob pressed.

Maddox blinked, “Because this isn’t for me. What they’re doing – to innocent people – isn’t me. I came here to learn control, Ainsley helps a lot with that.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jacob said, holding a hand up, “she helps?”

“Yes, she does.” Carlisle conceded from the archway, leaning against the wood with his shoulder. “It appears as though the personal human tie he had with Ainsley helps keep him grounded. We’ve made incredible progress in the last few weeks – far more than Jasper was comfortable with in his first few years of this lifestyle.”

Jacob felt his heart sink, the realization hitting him that he was going to be the one to tell Embry.

Tell Embry that his imprint was lying to him.

Tell Embry that his imprint was hiding one of the nomads.

Hiding the nomad Embry wanted dead the most. The one he spent nights envisioning, the one he had torn to shreds in his mind over and over again –

“Why did you tell me this?” He asked angrily at no one in particular. “Do you know what this is going to do? Do you know what’s going to happen now?”

“You can’t say anything –” Maddox started, reaching for Jacob’s arm.

“The fuck I can’t.” He growled, glaring at the pale fingers. “I have an obligation. I’m an alpha to a pack that can read my fucking mind, I literally have no way of withholding this.”

Maddox froze, slight terror sinking into his features. “If they know –”

“They’ll cross the border and come for you. And I won’t be able to stop them.” Jacob finished angrily, nostrils flaring. “You’re directly linked to one of their imprints, that makes you a bigger threat than the rest.”

“I’m not killing anybody!”

“Ainsley isn’t just anybody.”

“I’m well aware.” Maddox spat in return, his face quickly shifting. “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Won’t stop Embry from trying to sink his teeth into you.”

“Right – the whole soulmate thing –”

“Do not,” he growled, letting out his breath in a big huff. “Imprinting is more than some soulmate. Especially to Embry, alright? This is his person. She is everything to him – if not being able to kill you doesn’t kill him, knowing she lied to protect you will.”

Maddox stopped, his vision pulling into the middle before images flashed through his mind. Renesmee’s warm hand touched his chest, forcing visuals into his mind. The sensation ran over his body, the chilling vibration that was accompanied by the pounding in his skull.

Ainsley’s bright, cheery smile took up the majority of the images, along with a man. He was tall and tanned, and appeared to look very much like Jacob. His hair was short and nearly buzzed, his frame was thinner than Jacob’s, and certainly just as tall. Together, Ainsley and Embry looked like a match-made in heaven; she fit perfectly under his chin, fit perfectly in his arms. Her arms draped over his shoulders and around his neck, the intensity of what appeared to be an innocent display of affection made Maddox feel as though he were intruding on a personal moment.

Renesmee was showing him exactly what it meant to be an imprint – showing him exactly what kind of bond was at stake. What Ainsley was at risk of losing.

In the next set of images, she showed Embry’s frame convulsing, his bones shifting in slo-mo, his body exploding out of pure rage into something nearly ten times his original size.

It showed Ainsley hunched over another's arm, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the floor.

Maddox had to pull away, taking a few steps out of reach. He struggled for breath he didn’t really need, thinking about the importance this relationship might have actually been to her – and how he had forced her into a corner to help him, just so he could possibly stick around, just so he could see her again.

“Please,” he said finally, looking at Jacob with desperation, “please don’t say anything.”

𝙰𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚢

I sat on one of the couches in the basement, eyes glued to the television as Travis and Trenton argued back and forth on pizza toppings for their dinner, prolonging our dart game far longer than necessary. TJ had been called up to Seattle for investigations, while Jennie worked double shifts to cover the incoming trauma’s. The collapse of all the dominos linking all pieces of our family had both Trent and I on edge – hence the current ongoing battle between my brothers.

“Oh my god,” I cried, rolling my neck. “Just pick something already, I’m starving!”

“Just let Ains pick something!” Travis growled, ripping the pamphlet out of Trent’s hands.

“Uh, no,” he laughed once, taking the menu back, “she likes shit like chicken on her pizza – I don’t fucking think so.”

“What’s wrong with chicken?”

“It doesn’t belong on pizza – that’s what’s wrong with chicken!”

I rubbed my temples, blowing out my breath slowly. Each passing day I spent confined in my parents house made me more irritated and miserable. The boys had not stopped fighting, Embry became more preoccupied as the pack circled in on the final safehouse Alice and Edward had provided. In an effort to ease his mind, Leah had asked that Trent keep an eye on me.

Of course I had objected, but that didn’t seem to matter much, seeing as I was (essentially) moved home.

Once food had been ordered, and I stuffed my face with my share, I retired to my bedroom. I flipped the lock on my knob, sighing as I leaned my back against the door. I had half-expected Embry to be settled into my bed, instead the room sat empty and cold.

I wandered to where my phone had been plugged in, scrolling through the notifications. Two messages from Embry.

Won’t see you 2night. Jake needs me to cover his shift.

Sleep tight xoxo

I smiled to myself, pulling the phone to my chest as I collapsed onto the bed. Iyah looked up from the floor, tilting his head to the side in question. “For one night.” I nodded, laughing when the puppy happily joined me on the mattress, circling into his place in the corner. “Just don’t tell Embry, kay?”

The dog huffed in response, enticing another giggle from me. I scratched behind his ear, pressing a kiss to his muzzle before I rolled onto my back.

I wondered what Jacob was up to – being as responsible as he was, it wasn’t like him to pass along his duties to anyone else. Especially not Embry. That was moreso what Seth was for, being in his prime. I ripped my hair tie from my head, stretching my legs out as the moon casted the shadows of the treetops into my room.

From somewhere in the distance, I could hear a wolf howl.

#embry call #embry call imagine #embry call fanfiction #embry call x reader #embry call x oc #twilight fanfiction #kiowa gordon #twilight imagines #series: SAH #* mine #jacob black #paul lahote

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justsomerandomfanfic · 2 years

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Vampire Kiss - Vampire Billy Hargrove X GN Reader

Title: Vampire Kiss

Vampire Billy Hargrove X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Other Hawkins high schoolers (Mentioned), teacher (Mentioned), and other vampires (Mentioned)

| Part 2 |

WC: 2,164

Warnings: Vampires, drinking blood, blood, mention of death, mention of pain, mention of one-night-stands, mention of Satan/Hell, Reader's gender never mentioned, brief mention of smoking, brief mention of drinking, and slight suggestiveness

You watched Billy from the other side of the classroom. You didn't mean to stare. But, there was just something about him... Something that screamed dangerous. He was a bad boy, smoked, drank, and had one-night-stands with almost every girl at school. He screamed trouble as much as he did danger. The girls loved him for his charm, but if they knew all the things he was really like, if they knew who he really was... And yet here you were looking into his blue eyes wondering how on earth this beautiful creature got mixed up in your life. He smirked when you looked away from him and started fiddling with your pencil.

This happened to you multiple times. You'd be trying to pay attention to the teacher, but somehow your attention fell on him. Every. Time. It was hard not to look at someone with such a distinctive face. His piercing blue eyes never left you no matter how hard you tried to ignore him. You'd close your eyes, and he was there. With that cunning smirk of his. It felt as though he was staring right through you. It was hard enough that he sat next to you. There was something more to Billy Hargrove than most people saw. Yet you knew that if anyone found out the truth about this guy, you would probably end up dead or worse... Changed.

You sighed, "Stop staring." You spoke in a hushed tone

He laughed softly, more like a chuckle.

"Do you always have to do that?" You asked him.

"What? He asked, resting his fist on his chin.

"Stare," You stated clearly.

"Well... Sometimes I can't help it," he said with a shrug.

"Is that your excuse for everything you do?" You shot back.

"Excuse? No. That's just me being myself. Honestly, it's your fault for being so pretty." He flirted and you rolled your eyes, looking at the teacher and the chalkboard.

This time he stayed quiet. You didn't blame him. Some of the teachers knew that Billy was trouble, but not everyone listened. Most students used their common sense when around Mr. Hargrove, yet you seemed oblivious to it. The other day you caught him grabbing some kid by his jacket, just as you were walking down the hall. He was a bad boy. He was as bad as they came.

But you knew his secret. All those rumors going around town about Billy were true. Even though they were outlandish - childish even. Made to joke around and have fun. They were true.

Billy was a vampire. Yes, Vampirism was real. Of course vampires weren't a part of this world. But, that's what made them so scary. So mysterious. People were so eager to believe that anything was possible. That the impossible could become possible. When in reality, nothing like that existed in this world. But... It did. You saw it with your own eyes.

You didn't mean to. You were going home after school when you heard... Noises. You, being curious, followed the sounds. Behind the side of the school was Billy with some girl. You cringed. Disgusted... But as you looked closer. You saw the blood. You saw his fangs. You ran off. How he didn't notice you was a miracle in itself.

You went straight to your home and to your room, locking the door. You were scared. Angry. Guilty. But, as you thought. It all made sense. Some girls that you had seen go home with him after school, came back the next day with no memories. If you remembered correctly from your weird vampire phase as a child, they could erase memories. Determined, you had to find out more.

🦇🦇🦇

The next day at school, on your free period, you went to the library and found every book you could about vampires. You read everything you could get your hands on. Everything from facts, myths, legends, anything you could find. Billy Hargrove was a vamp. A real life vampire. And you were in love with him.

How was that possible? You'd never been attracted to any of the guys you knew before, but this guy was different. Was love too big of a word? Was it more of an attraction or infatuation? Either way. You couldn't help yourself. Not even the rumors from the girls could stop you now.

Finishing a book on vampires and how they came to be, you almost jumped out of your seat when a hand was placed on your shoulder. Looking up and to the side. Your eyes widened slightly when you saw Billy standing over you. His eyes hardened at the pages of the book before they shifted and he looked at you.

"Didn't know you were into vampires..." He spoke softly, sitting down beside you. His voice was gentle, soothing. Almost sweet. You shuddered, feeling goosebumps run down your arms.

"I like to learn." You spoke honestly.

"Learn about vampires, witches, and demons?" He asked and you shrugged, swallowing.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned, noticing your uncomfortable posture.

"Nothing... Why?" You asked in return, unsure.

He chuckled, "It isn't normal to be interested in things like this."

"There is no such thing as normal." You answered firmly.

Billy glanced at the vampire book with a smirk on his lips before he looked back towards you. "I like the way you think."

His voice was soft and gentle, like waves lapping on the shore. You felt safe. Safe in his presence. He reminded you of a bear protecting its cubs, or a wolf guarding their pack from all harm.

Why did you feel safe in the presence of him? In the presence of a vampire? You shook your head, telling yourself that you shouldn't feel comfortable with him. But you couldn't. You needed answers. You needed to know more. But you weren't going to flat-out ask him. That would be a stupid. Without hesitating, you grabbed the book off the table and set it aside. Turning, you looked into his eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"Just wanted to see how you were doing," He told you honestly.

"I've been doing fine." You turned away from him, trying to hide the fact that you were blushing.

He was always watching you. Staring at you. Waiting for you to turn your head back. You never missed a moment when he was near you. His blue eyes would seem to pierce right through you. He was beautiful. A gorgeous creature that should be locked away somewhere. Maybe thrown into the depths of hell by Satan himself.

No wonder all the girls in the school fawned over him.

"Are you free Friday?" He asked suddenly, making you flinch.

Why was he asking you that? You had questions. Questions about what his intentions were with you. But you weren't going to ask him. It would ruin things. Things already were ruined. But, if you agreed to go wherever with him, maybe you'd get those answers. After all, vampires lived on blood. They need it to survive.

There was no doubt that he had done something horrible, hurt someone... You gulped, closing your eyes briefly. It was a risk, but it was worth it. You had to know. And like they said; curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

"Yes. I am free Friday."

🦇🦇🦇

Tapping your foot, you bit your lip. Leaning up against your car as you waited for Billy to arrive. He said to meet you at Lover's Lake, at eight sharp. It was cold, and you cursed at yourself for bringing a coat. At the sound of crunching leaves, and a car engine, you're turned around. The car parked beside you, and Billy got out of the car. He had dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept in days. And yet he still made his way to you without hesitation; a smirk on his gosh-darn face.

"So, why meet at Lover's Lake?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Just because," He simply replied, looking up at the night sky before looking back at you. "I have something to tell you."

You tilted your head, not failing to notice Billy glancing at your exposed neck.

"What?"

"I know your secret..." He spoke, voice deep. Dark.

Your eyes widened a bit, "What secret?"

Billy stepped closer, enough for you to feel his hot breath fan over your face. "My secret."

He looked down and smirked. Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared back at him. His beautiful blue eyes staring right into yours. He reached his hand forward and traced along the neckline of your shirt. You shivered at the touch of his cool fingers, and the heat of his breath.

"I know what you are..." You spoke, voice soft.

Billy stared into your eyes, his own half-lidded with amusement. "Really? What makes you think that it's true?"

"Because I saw it last week." You whispered, blushing deeply.

He raised an eyebrow, "You saw me feeding?"

"Yes..." You muttered, looking away from him.

His fingers brushed your cheek, gently caressing your skin before he moved your face to look back at him. He hummed, searching your eyes for something. Fear? Hatred? Whatever it was... He found it.

"We'll, I can't have all of Hawkins knowing my dirty little secret, now can I?" He spoke lightly, his gaze intense.

"What happens when someone finds out?" You questioned, looking up at him.

"They're going to fear us, hate us, kill us..." He spoke plainly.

"Us?" You repeated, surprised.

He nodded. "There are more of us. But not around here."

"California." You spoke in realization.

Billy nodded, returning to caressing your jaw all the way down to the base of your neck. "It's sort of like a hotspot."

You shuddered.

"Now, if you don't mind..." Billy licked his lips, his fangs sparked in the moonlight. "I'm hungry."

You sucked in a sharp breath. You saw what he did to the others, you'd forget soon enough. Licking your own dry lips, you looked at him, noticing his pupils dilate. "Will it hurt?" You asked timidly.

"Only if you struggle." He paused and smirked at you. "Don't worry though, it won't hurt a lot."

"Promise?"

Billy chuckled, running a hand through your hair. "I promise you... Just trust me."

You didn't say it out loud. But it was hard to trust a vampire.

Licking his lips once more, Billy leaned down, trailing his fangs down your neck, his hot breath wafting across your throat. His other hand reached to pin you against your car. You gasped, unable to move as Billy sank his teeth into your flesh. You could feel as your blood began to drain away. You grabbed ahold of Billy's shoulders, holding on for dear life. You felt as if you were in the clouds, your mind felt soft and airy. You heard Billy's voice, calling out your name. As if he was on fire. But he wasn't burning, rather, he was consumed. Drinking and drinking. You felt so weightless. Your heart beat softened, and slowed. The pain slowly slipped away. All the stress released from your body. Billy pulled his mouth away from your neck, and he stared into your eyes before kissing you quickly, deeply on the lips. You could taste iron on your tongue. He pulled back, licking his lips and sighing happily. His eyes glowing silver in the darkness.

"That's one thing that won't be missing from your memory."

Eyes fluttering shut, you fell in Billy's arms, unconscious.

🦇🦇🦇

Opening your eyes, you blinked a few times as you tried to focus. You were home... In bed. But... How did you get here? You remembered Billy, kissing Billy, but then nothing else... You touched your lips, remembering how it felt to kiss him. You glanced at the clock above your desk to find it was three o'clock in the morning.

You tried to think, you felt something was missing, yet nothing came to mind. You sighed as you sat up, rubbing your eyes as you yawned. As soon as you stood from the bed, you froze. You felt so light-headed. Holding your head in your hands, you closed your eyes and took in deep breaths before you felt alright again. Standing up, you headed to your bathroom, but you stopped when you saw yourself in the mirror.

Reaching up slowly, you touched the side of your neck. Drawing your hand back, you looked at the blood on your fingertips. Red. Still wet. Cleaning your fingers and neck, you furrowed your eyebrows. There was no injury in sight. No scratch or pierce. Nothing.

How did that blood get there? Why do you feel so weak?

Billy...

Shaking your head, you brushed the thoughts away. You swallowed hard, trying to push him out of your mind as you went about getting dressed for school.

You must have gotten a small nose bleed in the middle of the night. No big deal. You've had them before. That was totally the explanation.

_____________________________________________

Part Two is linked above

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x reader fluff #billy hargrove x gn reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #fluff #cute #slight angst #billy hargrove #vampire #vampirism #vampirecore #vampire au #alternate universe #stranger things #vampire billy hargrove

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hekateinhell · 10 months

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#vcsmuttysunday: Armand & Daniel explore the Adult Entertainment Industry in the 1970s

I think it's more or less established fanon at this point that Daniel and Armand had a fun time experimenting with what the burgeoning sex industry had to offer in the late 1970s and early '80s (I place at least half of the blame on this comic). But sex shops really started taking of in Europe and North America in the '60s, '70s, and '80s! As far as I could find, London's first 'modern' sex shop opened in 1972 — five years before Armand and Daniel moved to London and lived as a couple in the city. Manhattan - where they later went - was infamous for having a strip of pornography theaters and all kinds of XXX entertainment spots in Times Square.

Here's some of the things they might've found in the sex shops back then, the ordinary and the not-so-ordinary:

(NSFW BELOW THE CUT)

Vibra Bed

It was a vibrating device that you attached to your bed and it turned the whole thing into… a vibrator. Armand absolutely bought one (or two or three) of these and probably made Daniel hump the vibrating mattress to completion while he watched. Their neighbors hated them.

Hitachi Magic Wand

Most of us have at least heard of this one that's still a best-seller today, but 1977 was when it really took off! I think Armand would've found it somewhat of a novelty to be able to bring Daniel to orgasm without using his hands or mouth directly. The vibrations alone would do it pretty fast, especially when placed along the perineum and the head.

Speaking of finishing fast...

Strain Loops

Cock rings in general became super popular during the sexual liberation phase of the '60s and '70s (people wanted to stay hard longer during anal sex), but I'm highlighting this type in particular because I hadn't come across it before and I just saw it mentioned in reference to vintage sex toys. Imagine Armand looping that around Daniel's dick and balls before he makes that boy hump that vibrating mattress a second time.

Novelty Handcuffs

This one I'm listing simply for my sake, because I think human Daniel (and vampire Daniel lbr) would get such a kick out of literally chaining a powerful vampire like Armand to his bedpost with the kitschiest bright red handcuffs!

And now - remember what I said about adult theaters in NYC earlier? Well, here's some of the movies they could've caught (and one of the places it would've been socially acceptable for Armand to whip out Daniel's dick out in public and do things to it, which he did).

Not saying Armand didn't buy Daniel leather shorts after seeing this and made him wear them everywhere for the next two weeks, not saying he didn't.

LIVE SEX ACTS.

Imagine Armand making Daniel get on that stage and put on a performance of his own! Maybe Armand joins him, maybe he doesn't (it would be Armand's first time in the spotlight since he seduced Louis in Paris - shame that was a performance of an entirely different nature... well, perhaps not to a vampire, huh?).

Grope-rooms are once again exactly what they sound like: you went there to grope other people and get groped. Bet The Dancer joined them more than once.

Anyway, hope y'all enjoy that tiny slice of sex history and that it inspires some smutty vampire thoughts of your own!

#i'm exhausted this took longer than i was anticipating but yk what i learned stuff #this will probably get a part two at some point tumblr limits pics rip #also scandalized to realize this is exactly where my parents were living in the 70s & 80s huh gentrification really got us in nyc #vc #the vampire chronicles #armand/daniel #the devil's minion #mildly meta #vcsmuttysunday

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slasher-male-wife · 10 months

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Updated Dwayne TLB head canons

Today is Dwayne's actor, Billy Wirth's birthday. Despite being 61 this year he's still a baby girl. I'm also low key hyperfixated on The Lost Boys right now. I wrote this awhile ago and I wanted to update it. These are both general and relationship.

Warnings: Racism briefly mentioned

General head canons

So I'm pretty sure that Billy is a Native American and this counts for Dwayne too. I still agree he turned in the 1700's and that comes with a lot of hardships. But he's unfortunately still facing them today.

He was able to live on the outskirts of society and had protection from Max after he turned.

I still think he got mad hoes. Like my man was getting partners left and right. I feel like he'd probably just end up sucking their blood eventually though.

He likes to collect little meaningful things and keep them on him. You can see that with his jewelry and he probably has more stuff like that in the cave too.

He's not biologically related to Laddie but he's still a big brother figure to him. I feel like Dwayne grew up in not the best situation and Laddie was in a similar situation and he felt the need to help him.

He regularly stopped wearing a shirt in the 60's and now he rarely ever wears one. I feel like it all started with the hippie movement that he found a little stupid but he went along with it. Woodstock is also where he met Paul.

He's got a small collection of shirts. He only keeps them because they have significant meaning to him. He rarely wears them but he still wants to keep them.

He takes major pride in his hair and keeps it well taken care of. I know that in Native American cultures hair is a very important part of yourself so he makes sure he only uses the best products in it.

He stole his jacket in the 50's and he painted it in the late 70's. He stole it from a greaser victim and the boys had a brief greaser phase.

Relationship head canons

He's going to still be a little hesitant at the beginning of the relationship. I still think his main love language is quality time so he's going to want to spend lots of time with you.

I think he'll break away from the rest of the boys with you for a little alone time on a date. He probably knows some romantic places to go or he'll just take you on a ride with him.

He'll tell you that he's a vampire before the relationship gets really serious. He won't force you to turn but he's going to tell you it's going to happen eventually.

Over time he'll open up more and tell you more about himself, but he's going to keep some things to himself. But he's happy to tell you any stories you want to hear about the other boys.

He's hesitant with physical touch. I think it'll take awhile before he's comfortable having prolonged physical contact. He's fine with holding hands but anything else will take a little time.

He does like pet names quite a bit. Darling, lovely, sweetheart, my love, other types of classical love names. The boys will tease him about the love name but he doesn't care.

He wants to take you on your first hunt alone. He'll be patient while you let your new vampire instincts take over while you hunt for the first time together.

The first time he sees you in your vampire form he's swooning so hard. Of course he still has that sort of stone cold face but he'll tell you just how hot you are in your vampire form.

He'll also help you adjust to your new vampire body. He'll teach you how to handle this newfound tolerance for pain and your new vampire strength.

#dwayne tlb #dwayne the lost boys #dwayne lost boys #dwayne x reader

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salamanderinspace · 2 months

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Been thinking more about the Contrapoints video.

I was going to say that, as I get older, the egalitarian sex Natalie discusses is more and more alluring to me, but this is not true. That's always been the ideal. It's more like, the top/bottom predator/prey dynamic gets less and less palatable as I am constantly finding myself in relationships with uncomfortable default-fixed roles that my partner won't negotiate. It was so bad that, when I was about 24, I gave up on love and sex completely for about 6 years. Then I became involved with someone who, again, held so hard to those fixed roles (particular Lover/Beloved, Pursuer/Pursued) that it broke me. I trusted her not to treat me like that and was disappointed when that's what it became.

I went through my vampire romance phase at the age of 13, with Vivian Vande Velde and Anne Rice and a few others. Twilight didn't exist yet. The allure was always the power fantasy: what if I could be fast and strong and rich and pretty forever? But I found it very tragic that the vampires in these books lived lonely, isolated lives… viewing others as prey or threats. The moments that drew me into IWTV were the moments of companionship and peerdom, the whispered jokes between found family in the theater. So I think it's important to me to distinguish between two types of dark romance. The predator-prey stuff is fine but there is an itching in my heart for dark, bloodthirsty couples that generally try to direct their violence AWAY from each other, that trust each other absolutely.

Because I disagree with Natalie on a point. I don't think there is an inherent violence to love. I don't naturally experience sexuality or eros in itself as a kind of death (the death comes later, with rejection of separation.) I don't lose myself in the dissolution of boundaries--I've always been more than willing to dissolve and transgress freely and fluidly in a way that feels more like being a wave in an ocean and less like a hammer striking an anvil. Traditional mainstream kinksters usually propose hammer-anvil scenes that are very boring to me. I can do them, I can … but it's not what inflames me. What inflames me is the idea of a peer, of communion. The convent Natalie mentions is actually an almost perfect example of a fantasy that is wildly erotic to me: permanently committed, group-oriented, and egalitarian. Someone in Natalie's reddit also came in singing the praises of egalitarian sex, and bravely mentioned that they seek out sibling incest fantasies for that reason, which explains so much to me. Like honestly: what do convent fantasies, sibling incest fantasies, and lesbian cottagecore farming fantasies have in common? That egalitarian quality of peers confronting external domination. It's a shame that I (and Natalie) had to find writing about that in the work of this half-insane transphobic radical feminist but it's so rare that anyone shares this proclivity.

So yeah I see why the Dom/Sub thing is appealing to people and I'm fine writing it here and there but what calls to my heart is the other thing.

#contrapoints #love #personal

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bittersweetbark · 5 months

Note

Hey!! I've seen you post about Our Flag Means Death, but have you ever seen Good Omens? Or What We Do In The Shadows?

I hear these three are the new SuperWhoLock, but everyone is trying to avoid this at all cost (that superfandom was before my time, but I know it was quite wild)

I was very much into Our Flag Means Death, it actually made me read fanfiction again and through THAT I discovered Astolat's Emralt! And the OFMD "run me through" scene was the story hook for my first fic ever ("The Gentleman will be removed from the situation" I'll ne er choose such a long ass title ever again.)

Stede has been very important for my identity acceptance - he's HORRIBLE, I'm not THAT bad, and I also loved him, so that gave me some self-acceptance.

Then they made season 2 and now I'm blocking everything OFMD :))) By now I can see untagged content without getting into whitehot seething. Progress!

I've never watched Good Omens or WWDITS, basically because I'm in a phase I haven't been watching anything (roughly 2013-now) with only OFMD as an exception. I had been very disappointed by a few shows and kinda stopped watching. Also everyone went on Netflix and the sources dried out. Fortunately OFMD has restored my faith in... wait... oh yeah: no. :))) So I don't really feel like retroactively getting into WWDITS.

I read Good Omens in the 90s and it was enough Pratchett that I liked it - I don't know, I have no urge to start watching it. Or the Sandman thing. I'm not really into Gaiman's stuff omg Tumbr will ban me for this, won't they.

I uh "got" the Interview with the Vampire, that one is on my hard drive, but then I read they eat cats so I won't watch that either.

It gets worse! :D I've never been very much into Supernatural and only watched some of it out of boredom, same goes for Doctor Who, and I hated Sherlock! If my Tumblr is gone by tomorrow, you'll know they punished me for my horrible sins.

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sailorblossoms · 2 years

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Was Baz actually a bully during the Watford years? Or was he just a posh jerk?

Listen, i've been reading old meta about these series these past days and I can't believe the amount of people that actually believe he was an actual bully like, based on what??

I mean, he absolutely comes from an elitist and conservative family, and that absolutely influenced his worldview during his childhood and early adolescence (quite predictably, hard to see what's outside of your bubble when you're not allowed to at that age). (Adding the actual safety that elitism provides him, as in he wouldn't be as shielded from being outed as a vampire if he wasn't a Pitch, and that it was impossible for kid-Baz to go against whatever the great Natasha Pitch believed in. Even when the conservatism of it all hurts him! Even when he thought his dead mom would want him dead, he still believed she was in the right!! But anyway, it's only after he breaks free from that bubble that he starts to grow as his own person, as a better person, cuz no way you can throw someone as soft hearted and who cares about others into the real world and have him remain a conservative elitist prick)

Being a bully and being a jerk are not the same thing, even if you're a real fucking jerk. Most of these characters are jerks in one way or another, to be quite honest (except Shephard, bless his heart) but the reason there's this perception of Baz, I assume, it's 1) because of the stereotype that he was supposedly casted in and 2) because Simon says he's a bully. The series it's all about calling bullshit to stereotypes so I'm not touching 1. And 2, Simon calling him a bully honestly doesn't mean shit.

A bully, at the very least, has actual victims. At the very least, they create an atmosphere of anxiety and fear. And who the fuck it's actually afraid of Baz in Watford, other than rats and whatever animals they have in the forest? (Actual question, I'm going by memory here). Nothing could more clearly point out how unbothered the student body is about Baz that Simon trying to tell others that he's a vampire and... being laughed off. If someone was being victimized by the dude and they were told "listen, he's actually a dangerous dark creature of the night, we could get the bitch kicked out, free ourselves" the general reaction would not be "Simon what the fuck are you smoking my guy". Agatha "I'm sick and tired of being a Damsel and in danger" wanted to go after Baz. And yeah, I know this was her trying out a rebellion phase by going by the Dark and Misterious Bad Boy(tm), see if that helped her figure out herself, but I honestly don't think she would have been fucking around in the dark waiting for him or wtv she was doing in CO if she seriously thought he would actually hurt or victimize her, as a bully would do. Baz might have had The Vibe, but there was likely the safety of deep down knowing it's just superficial, y'know (ik she later goes he's an Evil vampire!!! when trying to get Simon out of Baz's house for no real reason, which honestly rude, and my point still stands)

And it needs to be extremely clear that Simon and Baz were equals. Even when they were being dumb boys having stupid little fights they took awfully seriously (collateral of an actual war going on) they were still equals. Hell, Baz went out of his way to make sure they were equals, given that he has super-strength, enough to snap a human body like a toothpick, and Simon still tells us that he never even pushed him harder that he could push back. Yes, Baz could be mean and ruthless with his words, and he definitely hurt Simon, but Simon was never his victim. Simon was never afraid of Baz. And Simon definitely hurted Baz as well. Maybe he wasn't as cutting as Baz could be with words (likely the entire reason Simon even called him a bully, the whole "having advantage at being good with words, even to be a little bitch") but he was always good with his fists. He broke his damn nose ffs! (being the whole reason it's permanently crooked iirc)

Even the incident with Phillipa doesn't count (which I think was handled very well in the third book, so I won't get into it) cuz she was never a target, she was unfortunate collateral damage, and an unfortunate victim of Fiona, who was the adult who fully understood what she was doing, and I sustain was the actual responsible here (even if Baz was still wrong for fucking with dangerous things he didn't fully understand) (can't find the quote, but Penny said it best when she talked to Baz about this, they were really just boys being used as pawns by adults in dangerous situations they didn't even fully comprehend, not until actual damage was done here) (pretty fucked up of Fiona to even think of hurting Simon, a kid, that way, and to ask her nephew, another kid, to do it for her. Honestly believe she didn't really give a fuck about the kid who actually got hurt too, and only came around cuz she does love Baz and doesn't want to lose him)

So anyway, I'm not trying to be an apologist or whatever (these characters being flawed and having moments of being jerks or even dickheads it's compelling, honestly). All I'm saying is that Baz might have been a posh prick, and a jerk, and an asshole, and whatever synonyms we can think off, and he definitely had to unlearn quite a few questionable things but... was he actually ever a bully? I honestly don't think so. In fact, if we look at the picture of Baz being wealthy, attractive, smart, part of the football team, among the top of the class... it's actually likely that the general view other students had of him was more positive than negative, especially since he didn't have a reason to lash out at random people like he did with Simon and his friends (and he's not someone who actually wants to hurt others! He's always holding back even in actual fights!). And let's face it, hot rich ppl can get away with more shit in the general perception, so this would probably still apply even if he was generally an ass.

#baz pitch #this is long as fuck and barely comprehensiveble #but its my blog and i do what i want to etc #simon snow #carry on

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prettyflyshyguy · 1 month

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Alright for the freaks who are oldschool Supernatural tumblr people, or just normal supernatural people, and for the rest who are just like me and don't know shit: I'm dumping all my garbo takes under the cut.

Mostly gonna be me either being really enamored or really upset.

No in-between. These things are either great or the worst. My tastes are specific and I'm picky with vampire fiction and rarely do I find media that ticks the boxes yet, I still watch almost anything I can find obsessively.

Who knows maybe this'll become a new casual TV series if I like the dynamics. Anyway, long post warning under the cut.

They got Bela Lugosi's Dead playing in a room full of nu-metal heads LMFAO

truly the alt communities have always been done so dirty in media

least they did their research on song choices

jesus christ

flashbacks to my steampunk phase circa 2011

I LOVE that this woman looks so normie and looks so delighted when she meets this equally normie looking dude in an alternative bar (i want to go there the people seem chill and the vibes are impeccable)

anyway who is this guy he seems familiar

love that they made the most normal dude in the bar the real monster good on them :)

christ they just took one look at twilight and went yeah lets TV parody this shit just for a laugh didnt they

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE'S 17

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(DID SHE HAVE A FAKE ID I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION)

OK ok ok you get big bonus points just for this bit. Just for this bit.

Thank you supernatural go off

"I'm just scared I'm dreaming and I'll wake up in math class" girl me too

im sorry this woman looks so much older than 17

POINTS DEDUCTED

BAD TEETH

great eyes, horrendous teeth. very dissapointed. I'm only here for the fucked up canines because we already HAVE them and whats better than perverting the existing human form into something subtly wrong

This show has such an aggressive title screen compared to buffy and the x files LMAO

ok i can get behind the chevvy, the chevvy is nice

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

POINTS ADDED - holy shit points added for this cheesy poster alone really capturing the schtick of the late 2000s

ok i get it, i get it guys, they're fun, they're funny, they've got a great sibling energy, the periodic 'screaming' happening in the background of this scene is sending me

this has been too fun so far i feel like somethings gonna ruin it

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok this is so self aware yet the degree they're committing is just.

its marvelous. this is peak. I'm into it.

there are so many ads please i want to see dean have a bad day

Holy shit is that Skinner from the x files i love that guy

the fashion. iconic. if anything I'll be coming back to this for inspiration for myself.

the way Dean just slammed that guy on the car yelling "OPEN YOUR MOUTH"

yeah instant favourite.

you've rounded a corner, a dude has just beat the shit out of your brother and now he's about to force feed him blood and your response is: stand there staring like the shocked pikachu

oh so you wait till after he's done to scream "no!" in a half hearted tone

is there something I'm missing here, i know Sam gets a bit cooked at some point (does he get possessed??? idk) so I'm gonna assume thats whats going on

this is the best 'turning' scene I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing in all my years of trawling through vampire media

holy shit the team that wrote this episode fucking get it

the audio design, the acting, is so on point

Supernatural Crew you cooked so hard and I'm deeply thanking you for it

this was fucking made for me what the fuck what the fruck what the fuck what the fuc

Nooooo dont have an emotional breakdown in the bathroom looking at your fangs, but you're so sexy aha

The constant heartbeats anytime Deans in a room with someone got me grinning like :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

ok points deducted, again, for bad teeth but my god

the "I gotta go-" scene GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

someone get this kicked puppy a sippy cup

a red fanta chug jug

where is his sippy cup

look i know its probably not fun, at all, to drink red mystery meat juice on set but its gotta be cheaper than CGI teeth. Please.

Please let more relunctant vampires reluctantly chug jug (with you)

Oh Never Mind they wrote it in that he can't drink or he's stuck >:(

im still having a good time, just a bit less of a good time

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

using a large serrated knife to cut appart a horde of vampires seems like a great idea and getting covered in blood you're not supposed to drink is inevitable

but watch out

Sam: thats a pretty mentally stable thing to do

I REALLY WANT TO

CHUG JUG WITH YOU

ok this scene of him makes up for the lack of authentic blood chug jug I'll take what I can get

Ok final thoughts: that was a solid 7 and a half out of 10

thank you Supernatural you hit almost all the high notes when most stuff falls flat for me. Still, you came soooooooooo close. And got so far. And Yet in the end it doesnt even matter.

Still, this one's going straight to the pool room, and I can comfortably say I'm throwing it on the shelf of 'comfort media' that I can go back to on a bad day.

This had some fucking BANGER scenes that surpassed my expectations and deeply pleasantly surprised me. Good shit! As someone who is hard to please, this was a riot. Still; a shame they arbritrarily rules-d him taking a chunk out of someone. Would have been sick. Could have had the great slow build up of the initial turning scene - him and the love interest, holding back - then him cracking it after holding out and snapping.

It is not too much to ask, I swear. It's a good trope.

Do I dare take the risk of trawling through fanfiction to find another horribly specific weirdo like me, because Supernatural seems huge and a scary place to fanfic trawl.

#shy talks #not art #supernatural #tagging for archivals sake #but im not about to go crazy here #i hope #fuck it fanfic trawl time pray for me

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paarthursass · 7 months

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1, 6, 10 for aurel and wyll 😁🫶

couple questions

What do they think of each other's family? And how does the family feel?

Aurel and Ulder had a semi-rocky start - Aurel was incredibly protective of Wyll, and disliked Ulder's treatment of him up until that point. However, with how important his own relationship with his father is, he did try to put aside his own reservations to advocate for a resolution between Wyll and Ulder. Once that was reached, Aurel then switched gears "I need my future father-in-law to like me SO MUCH." Which, honestly, wasn't hard to achieve. Aurel is a Polite and Well-Mannered Young Man, and considering his other Good Deeds throughout the game it was quite easy to win Ulder's approval. There was a slight hiccup when Ulder discovered Aurel was a dhampir, but by that point Aurel's actions had spoken towards his character, and he didn't want to jeopardize his relationship with his son (again) by worrying about something that was Probably Fine.

Wyll likewise had some reservations about meeting Aurel's father, considering his own status as a monster hunter and Dragomir's status as Old As Balls Vampire Who Has Killed Many Vampire Hunters. But Dragomir (as a side effect of being Old As Balls) is also Chill As Hell. He met Wyll and instantly went well he is Polite and he makes my son happy. Oh he's a monster hunter? Does he plan to kill me? No? Okay we're fine then. And then with those niceties out of the way, Wyll and Dragomir get along swimmingly. Dragomir is such an Eccentric Old Man and Wyll finds that, frankly, hilarious. Dragomir will pull out baby stories about Aurel with SUCH little prompting and Wyll loves that. They will spend hours upon hours talking about old historic battles that Dragomir witnessed, and Wyll will talk about monsters he killed and Dragomir will nod his head with genuine interest. When Dragomir finds out about Mizora he also gets a Look in his eye and goes "Do you want me to kill her for you? I can kill a cambion, easy," and offers to go on a father-son bonding trip to kill Mizora.

Do they have pet names for each other? Do they like them?

Oh they are insufferable with their nicknames. They're both high charisma, poetic, classical romantics. They are in a constant game of trying to one-up each other with their nicknames. Wyll will start small with "my heart" and then Aurel goes "yes, mirror to my soul?" and then Wyll goes "the first light of my day" and Aurel goes "the spring of my seasons" and they just keep GOING.

What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it?

So, I don't imagine Aurel and Wyll have a huge disagreement with each other until after the events of the game. The game takes place over such a short period of time, everything else is so chaotic around them, and their relationship is so new that they are blissfully in the honeymoon phase.

But after the events of the game, especially in my (current) canon where Aurel becomes an illithid, things do get significantly rougher for them.

Aurel and Wyll accompany Karlach to Avernus, which delays Wyll's "lock you up in my basement because you are not the one I loved but also I cannot bear to be parted from what remains of you" thing. Fighting against Zariel's forces and searching for a cure for Karlach's engine is an excellent distraction. But in their small moments of reprieve, Aurel does see how differently Wyll looks at him. At first he thinks it's only Wyll growing accustomed to his new form, but he slowly comes to realize that Wyll sees him as more of an echo of Aurel. As Aurel is also going through his own identity crisis (Am I me? Am I something else? Who am I if I'm not Aurel?) Wyll's silent but palpable mourning of him only worsens this.

Wyll, likewise, is forced to contend with the fact that "Aurel is dead and this thing only has his memories" is not as simple an answer as he thought it was. He cannot ignore that illithid!Aurel is so, so similar to the Aurel That Was when he's fighting alongside him. He is constantly at war with what his head tells him (that Aurel is dead, that this mind flayer is a ghost left behind, and that one day what is left of Aurel will fade and the mind flayer will just be another monster that he will have to kill) and what his heart feels (that no ghost nor echo should feel so real, that perhaps Aurel's heart was so strong that he persists even through ceremorphosis, that even though his eyes are different now when Wyll looks in them he still sees Aurel).

All of this is brought to a head by Mizora's interference; in an attempt to destabilize the group, she voices Aurel's fears: that he is not himself, that he has no soul left for her to bargain for because what remains is a tadpole in a dead man's brain, and that Wyll and Karlach both know this and see him as a monster wearing the memories of their friend. Wyll, still grappling with his own crisis of how to handle illithid!Aurel, is not capable of denying Mizora's accusations, and Aurel closes himself off completely from him. Wyll makes a few feeble attempts to mend things after this, but Aurel firmly shuts him down, and also throws himself increasingly into the task of finding a way to fix Karlach's engine. This eventually culminates in him breaking into Mephistopheles' library, alone, and nearly dying as he retrieves a Scroll of True Polymorph for Karlach.

Wyll berates him for being reckless, Aurel snaps back that it doesn't matter because he's not the real Aurel, and now that they have a way to fix Karlach's engine she and Wyll can return to Baldur's Gate. Wyll realizes Aurel intends to stay behind, and — unlike in the illithid epilogue with Wyll, where he lets you go without a fight if you break up with him — actually vehemently fights back against Aurel's decision to die taking out as many of Zariel's soldiers with him.

It's a messy, complicated fight they have, and it doesn't truly resolve, but it does set them on a tentative path towards figuring out how to move forward in a non-destructive way.

#asks #oc: aurel #aurel x wyll #ty so much for sending this in!!!#didnt mean for that last answer to be a Whole Thing but. it is a Whole Thing #i have a ficlet like 95% done for that whole scene and its. hooo boy.

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