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cupid-styles · 7 months

Text

silk and rope

the long awaited ddlg harry and yn pairing has finally arrived!!!

some general disclaimers: I've never been in a relationship like this myself nor have I experimented too much with proper bdsm techniques, so there may be some things that are wrong in this!!!! I did research and tried my best to make it as accurate as possible but pls don't come for me if something isn't right ok thank yoooouuuuuu!!!!!!!

word count: 10.6k

content warnings: daddy dom and sub/little yn relationship, big ol’ daddy kink, basically just a lot of smut (bondage, overstimulation, use of toys, dirty talk, f oral, penetration), discussions of subspace and crappy sexual experiences (nothing forced), yn in little/sub space

"Y/N, I just don't think this is working out anymore."

Normally, Y/N is able to see this coming.

In the past, she's had 20/20 hindsight, predicted when whatever man she was seeing — or rather, submitting to — had finally gotten bored of her, and been able to paste a smile on her face when it finally happened. She could bite her tongue hard enough to prevent the flush that would eventually warm her entire body with embarrassment, mumble out some nonsense response ("okay, that's fine, I appreciate the time we spent together", which was usually a lie anyway), give them a halfhearted hug and let them go.

Todd, however? The world's worst dominant? She seriously can't believe that Todd of all people is ending things.

Realistically, Y/N doesn't really care that Todd isn't interested in dominating her anymore. He was shit at aftercare and only paid attention to maintaining a sexual relationship, as opposed to an emotional one, too. (Y/N's profile specifically said that she was looking for a dominant inside and outside of the bedroom.) So, when it comes down to it, it's fine that Todd is putting a stop to their rather lackluster relationship, but Y/N is unprepared.

Typically, at this point, she already has a date with another dominant lined up for 24 hours from now. She's already talking to other people, listing out her hard limits and what she's looking for, maybe even switching her photos around to change things up after being on this god forsaken website for a year and a half.

And maybe she, too, was so unsatisfied with Todd that she wasn't paying enough attention to realize the end was coming.

But with her slightly squinted eyes and half-open jaw, it must seem that she's in some sort of immediate stage of heartbreak (she's not, she's just surprised), because Todd goes to sling his arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of her head.

"It's not you, babe, it's me," he says, and it makes Y/N want to elbow him in the ribs, "Really, you were great. Fantastic every time. Just think I'm looking for someone a little bit more... emotionally stable, y'know?"

That's what breaks Y/N out of her trance, so she quickly rises from her couch and wordlessly opens the front door.

"Thanks. You can go now."

With furrowed eyebrows, Todd stands up, as if he was expecting her to get down on her knees and grovel at his feet, begging him to stay.

"See, this is what I'm talking about, babe— one second you're all quiet and mousey, and the next you're trying to boss me around like I'm the submissive," he feens offense as he pulls his sneakers on, "I think you should probably get your brain together before you start seeing someone else, it's a real mindfuck."

"Okay," Y/N smiles tightly, gesturing outside to the chilly evening. "See you around, Todd."

The confused expression remains on Todd's face but thankfully, he leaves without another word. Y/N lets out a deep sigh as she shuts the door behind him and locks it up. She grabs one of the leftover muffins she made at work today, plops down on the couch, and turns on the TV to find a show to fall asleep to.

. . .

If Harry's being honest, the bar is the last place he wants to be right now.

And he would be at home if he hadn't blown his friends off for the past three weeks, and Claire hadn't stopped by his desk while he was packing his things up, threatening to kidnap him if he wasn't planning on attending this evening.

He feels bad, especially because he knows he has the tendency to prioritize work over his friends, so he shoots her a tight smile and tells her to lead the way.

So now he's at their usual booth in the corner, slowly nursing a lukewarm beer that he'd ordered an hour ago when they arrived. He's halfway listening to a story Lea is telling about her shitty on-again, off-again boyfriend, occasionally suppressing the urge to yawn. He glances down at the watch on his wrist to read the time and promises himself that he'll stay another 30 minutes before ducking out.

Truthfully, he's bored, and he's tired, and his bed is calling to him in a way that's almost painful. He occupies himself by people-watching, trying to guess who's on first dates or, like him and his friends, getting together for weekly drinks. It's only then that he zeroes in on her — Y/N, that is — sitting alone at the bar top, slightly hunched over as she taps on her phone, a glass of wine in the other hand.

Harry doesn't know Y/N that well. He knows that she went to college with Naomi, who started inviting her to things around a year ago, and now she's always just around. He's unsure if she actually likes any of them besides Naomi, though — she's quiet and introverted, which Harry respects and understands, but the one-on-one conversations they've had are few and far between.

But that's why his interest is piqued in the first place. He's never witnessed her sitting alone at the bar, and a twinge of concern fires through him as he watches her. He clears his throat and turns back to the table, unintentionally cutting Lea off.

"Is Y/N okay?" he asks, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the bar.

"What? I didn't even know she was here," Lea says as she peers over with a shrug, "Seems fine to me."

She continues on with her story and Harry rolls his eyes, grabbing his pint and striding over to where Y/N is sitting. He props himself up on the stool next to her and waves the bartender down, pointing to his glass.

"Hey, Y/N," Harry greets easily as his glass gets refilled. She looks up from her phone and immediately locks it, as if he's tearing her from some deep thinking, surprised that anyone would come to bother her in a busy pub. "How are you?"

With slightly parted lips, she looks a bit bewildered. "Um... I'm fine. How are you, Harry?"

He swallows, glancing down at the half-full glass of white wine she's drinking. He's never actually seen her drunk, despite near-weekly meetups at this pub. She seems tipsy, not fully under water, though decently buzzed.

"I'm good, thanks," he forces a smile onto his lips as an effort to seem as though he's not concerned for her wellbeing. "I saw you over here and realized I didn't even say hi to you."

Y/N shrugs. "I didn't really feel like socializing tonight. Naomi kind of dragged me here."

"Ah, Claire did the same to me," Harry replies understandingly, nodding his head, "Said she'd kidnap me if I didn't come out."

She scoffs at that before tilting the glass back towards her lips, taking another hearty gulp. He doesn't miss the thin wince she makes as the liquid touches her tongue, swallowing it down quickly.

"Is it 'cos you got broken up with, too?"

Harry's eyes widen at her question, but she's already looked past him, zoning out with a bleary look.

"Oh... I'm sorry, Y/N. Do you want to talk about it?"

He's not great at emotional conversations, especially with people he barely knows, but he supposes it's a decent explanation for why she's in this state. He's content with lending a shoulder to cry on, he decides, because he doubts Naomi had done the same.

"It wasn't really a breakup, it's fine," she mutters with a dismissive wave of her hand. "We weren't dating, is what I mean."

Although she attempts at some sort of explanation, Harry's still confused, but he nods as if he understands.

"Was it like a friends with benefits situation?" he guesses, and she shrugs noncommittally.

"Kind of."

"So it was complicated, then," Harry murmurs. He gets that — he's been there a thousand times over, and he understands the pain associated with those types of situations.

"It wasn't," she shakes her head, and now Harry knows she's just spewing out drunken nonsense, "He was my... dominant. Or tried to be. He was really fucking shitty at it."

Dominant?

The familiar word echoes through the chambers of Harry's mind. He's certainly not unacquainted with dominant and submissive dynamics, but he's shocked — more than, really — that Y/N refers to a typically taboo word in such a casual way. He chalks it up to the alcohol, but he's still surprised that Y/N even had a dominant to begin with.

"I met him on one of those stupid seeking arrangements websites, which honestly never produces good results," Y/N continues, making Harry's eyes widen even more. He's sure that she would never reveal this information to any of their mutual friends, let alone him of all people. "Every dom I've had from there has been... whatever. But he was particularly awful, and he just ended things out of nowhere. Normally I like to have someone else lined up, but... yeah."

Even in her alcohol-fueled state, Y/N realizes that she's rambling, providing far too many personal details to Harry, who she rarely talks to. She knows she'll be ridiculously embarrassed by the entire evening as soon as the wine drunk haze wears off, but for now, Harry's on the receiving end of her secrets.

Harry clears his throat and straightens his posture, sitting up a little taller. "Well, you said it yourself. Those sites are shitty, the dominants on there are usually just looking to experiment for the first time and they don't know what they're doing. The local BDSM community is your best bet... clubs and gatherings and such."

Y/N wrinkles her eyebrows and peers at Harry beside her. He's looking straight ahead and nibbling on his bottom lip, his hand firmly grasped around his glass. She doesn't know much about Harry besides the fact that he works at some large company with a relatively well-off position. He's gorgeous, of course, and has flings with people here and there but otherwise, her knowledge of what him is... well, almost non-existent.

It wasn't totally impossible — the likelihood that Harry, like Y/N, was involved in similar sexual dynamics. She wouldn't classify herself as part of the BDSM community, but perhaps it was because she'd never dove headfirst into learning about it outside of what she's interested in. She felt that what she looked for in a dominant was rather... specific.

"Do you... are you...?" Y/N doesn't quite know how to phrase the question, "are you a dom?" without sounding like a total creep, so she allows him to fill in the blanks. His throat bobs as he takes a sip of his beer, shrugging his shoulders tersely.

"Yeah," he finally answers. "Not very consistently, I guess, but I'll take on a sub a few times year. Usually for a few months."

She nods slowly, squinting her eyes a bit as she tries to picture it. She's not sure what type of dominant Harry is — whether he's sweet and soft, or tough and enjoys pushing his subs to their limit each and every time — but regardless, the mere thought of it is enough to make her squeeze her thighs.

"What about you?" he asks, shifting his position to face her. "It sounds like you go through doms kind of... quickly."

Y/N hums, "Kind of, I guess. I think I have kind of... like, particular needs, and not everyone is interested in it."

It's the most they've ever spoken to one another, and Harry doesn't even think before he's asking her what exactly she looks for in a dominant. He's immediately embarrassed — he doesn't know what made him question her so openly, but he can't help his curiosity.

She waves his slight exasperation off, clearly not offended by his press for details.

"Can I just ask that you don't tell anyone?" Y/N says, looking at the man sitting next to her. "It's like, a little embarrassing, and I've never told our friends about it. Not even Naomi."

"Of course," Harry quips. He's always been good at keeping those types of things under wraps — he didn't believe anyone had anything to gain by learning about someone's sexual interests.

"I... I guess I have some trauma stemming from childhood that I've worked through in recent years. It's not important to this, but I tend to look for dominants who fulfill more of a caretaker role. I like to be... taken care of. In certain ways."

Her cheeks flush as the words leave her mouth as he listens to her closely. He's not sure if he's reading between the lines, looking too far into her explanation, but he gets it. He thinks.

"So... a daddy dom?" Harry asks softly. Y/N rolls her lips into her mouth and nods curtly.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about," he murmurs once he receives confirmation, "A lot of people like that type of relationship. I can understand why you'd be interested in it, especially if you have trauma."

She shrugs. "A lot of people think it's weird, too."

"Sure, but those aren't the people you should be seeking relationships out with," Harry replies easily, "What do you look for specifically? I'm sure we could find someone for you in the community."

Y/N lets a deep breath out, rolling her neck to each of her shoulders. She can't believe they're having this conversation in public, but she'd be lying if she said Harry wasn't easy to talk to. Plus, at the night went on, more people filed out of the bar considering it was a weekday.

"It's not necessarily age play I'm after, which I think a lot of people think is what I want," she explains, "Just like... a caregiver, I guess, that's there for me both in and out of the bedroom. I, um... on bad days, fall into a... headspace, and it's very difficult to navigate that on my own. If that makes sense."

"Makes perfect sense," Harry nods. "Are you looking for punishments and such?"

"Yeah." she breathes, nibbling at her lip as she crosses her legs, attempting to mitigate the dull throbbing in her core.

"Y/N, do you have my number?"

She swallows as she peers up at him through her eyelashes, shaking her head. He puts his hand out and she grabs her phone, placing it in his palm. He taps at the screen and she assumes he's putting his information in her contacts.

"Claire drove me here so I can't give you a ride home, but I'm gonna order you an Uber so you can head home," he murmurs lowly, handing her phone back to her. "Text me tomorrow. Can we get together after work?"

Y/N nods with slightly rounded eyes, making him smile gently. He realizes she must be more depraved than he thought if she's already slipping into her little space from an act as simple from that.

"Keep it together 'til you get home," Harry says with a quirked eyebrow, though embarrassment quickly washes over Y/N's body. He chuckles as she blushes, patting her thigh lightly. "I'll walk you out."

She grabs her bag and follows him out of the bar, welcoming the autumnal chill as it pimples her skin.

"Are you gonna slip on the way back?"

Y/N looks up to see Harry towering over her, a concerned expression on his face.

"N-no. I'm fine."

He continues analyzing her for a moment or two more before he finally nods once. "Okay. If you feel yourself getting there, call me."

"I won't. I promise."

Harry hums as a black sedan rolls up to the curb. He checks to make sure it's the correct license plate before guiding her to the car and holding the door open for her. She gets in the backseat and he nods at the driver, murmuring down at her, "seatbelt on."

She complies readily and he smiles, patting her head softly. "Message me when you get home. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Harry."

20 minutes later when he receives a text from her stating that she's made it home safely, he already knows he'll do anything to be her dominant.

. . .

Harry half expects Y/N to pretend like last night ever happened.

He would understand it if she did. She was tipsy, revealing intimate details about her sexual preferences pertaining to BDSM. No one else from their friend group knew. It just ended up coming out for both of them — Harry doesn't parade his dominant role in the bedroom all around town, but if someone he knows asks, he's happy to admit to it and talk more about it. He's not ashamed by any means, but he can tell that Y/N is. She prefaced her explanation by stating that she has trauma — and really, who doesn't? — and hinted that dominants in the past have found her requests to be weird.

Harry doesn't think the whole daddy dom thing is strange. He understands it, especially pertaining to a psychological, healing level. He's never engaged in that sort of dynamic before, typically sticking to scratching the itch his submissives usually had, whether it be getting tossed around a little, orgasm denial, or being tied up. He was happy to do what made them happy, but he usually kept it in the bedroom.

The thought of taking up a caregiver role in Y/N's life made his spine tingle.

He's always been interested in her — not even in a romantic or sexual way, he's always just found her fascinating. She's quiet and shy, beautiful, and the definition of a wallflower. Naomi brought her in one day and she just never left. It's been a year since then and Harry doesn't think she's spoken more than 15 words to the others.

And so, with all of this knowledge under his belt, he spends his day at work worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and constantly unlocking his phone. When he gets home that evening, narrowly avoiding Claire's proposal at more social interaction, he's lost all hope, even though he did tell her to text him when she was finished with work. He's properly pouting as he sits on his couch, knees to his chest, when his phone lights up on the coffee table in front of him.

From: Y/N Y/L/N

hey harry:) first of all, im so sorry about last night. i was clearly having a tough day and i definitely took advantage of u being willing to chat with me, so im sorry if i revealed too much or took you away from everyone else.. i know u don't go out often and im really sorry if i ruined it

im also not sure if you still have interest in what we talked about last night w helping me find someone... its totally ok if you've changed ur mind or you were just drunk or whatever. again, i know i was being a lot so no worries!! sorry! just lmk :)

Harry's heart squeezes as he reads over her repeated apologies. In two texts, she said variations of "I'm sorry" four times. She thought she had ruined his night in some way when it was the complete opposite.

His thumbs hover over the screen as he thinks of a response. He's over the moon that she still decided to text him and that she'd avoiding the path of pretending nothing happened. In all honesty, he's unsure if he could live with himself when he had all those images and thoughts of her in his head, knowing that they'd just moved on from it.

Hey Y/N. Please don't apologize for last night, I had a really nice time talking to you. I'm definitely still interested. Are you available tonight?

She's quick in her reply, which makes him smile. He can imagine the way she's probably alternating between biting her lip and picking at the skin around her fingernails, both of which he assumed were nervous habits that he picked up on last night.

ok if you say so.. and yes im free! i was planning on ordering some takeout if ur interested, i don't really have any food here that isn't a baked good lol

Harry chuckles at that. Claire mentioned once that Y/N works at the bakery close to the park he does his morning jogs through. When he passes by at early sunrise, the windows are often illuminated with a warm glow, and he wonders if it's coming from her.

That's okay, I was planning on cooking if you'd like me to bring you some. I have ingredients for a stir fry. Would that be okay?

She replies with what he can only describe as a bashful but affirmative answer (only if you're sure!! but that sounds great!) and sends a second message with her address. He's beaming as he chops up vegetables and sautes them up rice noodles and homemade peanut sauce, indulging in the simple act of cooking for Y/N.

Last night, after he'd gotten home from the bar, he'd done some research on daddy dom relationships. He knew of them, but if he was going to offer being Y/N's, he wanted to ensure that he was knowledgable on anything she could want. He learned that there were many different facets of that type of dynamic, some of which he was comfortable with and some of which he wasn't. Like any other dominant and submissive relationship, hard and soft limits would be discussed, but this one, Harry realized, wouldn't just consist of kinks he had no interest in engaging in.

As he spoons the finished stir fry into a plastic container to take to Y/N's, his stomach brews with butterflies. He's never expressed interest in dominating someone he already knows in real life. Those relationships existed purely in the confides of the bedroom. It's a commitment, he understands, to engage in such an agreement with her.

So why isn't he scared?

. . .

"This is delicious, Harry," Y/N all but moans over her serving of stir fry, chopsticks in hand. He smiles before biting into a piece of broccoli coated in peanut sauce.

"I'm glad you like it. It's a go-to dish for me, especially on weekdays when I'm exhausted from work."

She hums, nodding thoughtfully as she chews. A temporary silence takes over as they eat, ended by Harry eventually clearing his throat and gently placing his bowl on the table.

"So, about finding you a dom," he says, and her eyes perk up slightly, as if she's an over-excited puppy. "I have a proposition."

"Oh, you found someone already?"

"Sort of," Harry answers vaguely, "I think— well, no, I know. I would be interested in taking that place."

Y/N raises her eyebrows. She sets her own bowl of food on the table and purses her lips as she chews the rest of the contents in her mouth.

"I don't think you want that." she says gently.

"Why?" he shoots back, a near immediate response, "I spent all night and day thinking about it. I do."

Y/N sighs, "Because it's more than just spanking me when I have an attitude with you or cooking me a meal. I can be a lot, Harry, and it's the reason why I've gone through so many dominants already."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you go through so many because they're the problem?" Harry asks. "You lay it all out on the table, right? You tell them exactly what you're looking for. Everything you told me last night."

She nods.

"And they still agree. You tell them you want a dominant outside of the bedroom, too, that the 'daddy' role you're looking for is a caretaker," Harry continues, "So how does that make you the issue?"

"Because what I'm looking for is... unconventional," she fights back, convinced in her stance. "Guys think the whole daddy thing is hot until... until I actually need them."

"It's not unconventional, Y/N. I did a ton of research last night. There are a million sites explaining what a DDLG relationship is and what it can consist of. The things that go into it on both sides, but especially on the dominant's. I'm not saying I know everything about being one, but I've at least cared to learn."

Y/N sighs and rolls her lips into mouth. She'll admit, she's impressed. She's not sure any guy she's ever been with has done that.

"So... what would you want, then?" Y/N asks, her voice softened.

"Well, I definitely have limits, but it's mainly dependent on what you're interested in," Harry explains. She finds that he's far too nonchalant for his own good, and the casual nature of his tone makes her even more nervous.

"If you did some research then I'm sure you learned about the extents it can go to," she says thoughtfully and he nods, resting his chin in his palm, "I don't have a desire for the more extreme things. Diapers and pacifiers and all that."

"Okay."

She's taken aback by his lack of response — part of her expected some sort of "oh, thank god" — but she's starting to wonder if Harry just simply exists in a nonjudgmental space. One that she's very much not used to.

"I just want someone to take care of me," she eventually forced out, setting her gaze on her bare thighs, a pair of lavender sweatshorts hung around her hips. "I can be bratty both in bed and out. I like to be put in my place. I enjoy being teased and humiliated. I like punishments and being pushed to my limits, even if I give you a hard time about it. I've been described as a handful when I'm feeling... little."

Harry had read a decent amount about "little space" last night. He'd dominated some partners to the point of falling into subspace, but little space seemed to differ. With his base knowledge on submission, he was able to tell that she was slipping into hers last night, giving him the inkling that making decisions for her and taking away the guess work was something she liked.

"I'm sure you're not, but all of those things are fine by me," Harry replies easily, "What do you like when you're feeling little?"

"It depends on what put me there. If I had a bad day at work, I like a bath and you cooking for me... I get really touchy. If it happens from a sexual scenario, it can be quite difficult to pull me out. But I get really quiet... I'll be more pliable, allow you to throw me around. I'll usually cry, but if you're doing things correctly, they won't be bad tears. Just from overwhelm."

"What sexual scenarios put you there?"

She clears her throat, her tongue thick in her mouth. Thinking about these things is enough to make her slip, but she won't disclose that. At least not right now.

"A number of things... edging or orgasm denial, being tied up and gagged. Anal since it requires trust and prepping. Any type of punishment, but especially spanking."

Harry's nodding his head as she speaks, apparent that he's processing everything she's telling him. He's not surprised by anything, per se, considering he's open to different experiences and nothing seems undoable. It's as if he's making a mental list, adding a separate section to his brain with Y/N's name plastered over it, filing away the information.

"What about when you're not feeling little?" Harry proceeds with little befuddlement, "What does the ideal dominant look like for you then?"

"Um... still just loving and caring. I likely won't be as bratty. More... in control of myself, I suppose," Y/N murmurs in reflection. "I would still like to have scenes with you when I'm not in that headspace, if that's alright. I'm not sure if it would be crossing a boundary."

"Of course." he answers readily without a blink of doubt, "When I embark on a dominant and submissive relationship, I don't like to half-ass it. I don't think there's a point in only asking for me when you need me. You'll never find comfort in me when you're feeling small."

Her heart warms at that, flutters in her tummy making it difficult to hide the smile curling at her lips. She assumes that she should've guessed Harry would be good at this type of thing; she's witnessed how deeply he cares for people. Even when they barely knew each other, he always greeted Y/N like they'd known one another for years, asking about her job at the bakery (she doesn't even remember if she told him he worked at one) and what sweets they were creating nowadays.

She thinks Harry just has a way of making people feel special.

It's what makes her core tingle, squeezing her thighs together for a semblance of relief as she rolls her lips into her mouth. She can feel herself starting to dampen in her underwear and she glances down at Harry's lower half, peeking through her eyelashes to see if he has a growing bulge.

"Do you think we can do a scene tonight, maybe?" Y/N asks softly, glancing back up at his eyes.

Harry chuckles. "I take it you think I'd be a good fit for you then."

"Mhm."

"You're cute," he smirks and pinches her thigh lightly, "No scenes tonight though. I can come over tomorrow, but I want to properly feed you and make sure you're hydrated before we do anything."

Y/N nods as she nibbles on her bottom lip. If she's being honest, she wants nothing more than to crawl into Harry's lap, parting her thighs and grinding into him while he babbles dirty words into her ear. She's always found him attractive, but knowing that he's willing to cater to her own sexual desires lights a fire deep in her stomach.

"I'm gonna head home, but I'm looking forward to getting started with you," Harry says with a small smile, "Oh, one more thing — no touching yourself tonight."

Her eyes widen as he stands from the couch, ready to grovel; they haven't even begun doing anything yet and he's already telling her what to do—

"Y/N," Harry growls, reaching up to grab her face. He squishes her cheeks together and her pupils broaden, surprised by his sudden change in demeanor. "Nod if you understand."

She nods.

"Good girl. I'll text you when I'm coming over tomorrow. I'll bring you dinner again."

Again, she nods.

"Say 'thank you', Y/N."

"Thank you, daddy."

Harry's lips curl into a smirk, releasing his grasp. "Oh, we're gonna have fun together."

. . .

The next day, Y/N can't stop squirming.

It's to the point where her co-workers notice that she's jumpier than normal, clumsy in her icing and piping when she's normally spot-on and nearly perfect in her efforts. She hears from Harry a few times throughout the day — he texts her in the morning and during his lunch break, checking in to see how she's doing, and it makes her entire body swarm with butterflies. He asks if she's eating a proper lunch (she's not), scolds her for it (which she secretly enjoys), and then tells her he'll make her something for her to take to work tomorrow.

Thankfully, she doesn't have a closing shift today, so she's done at a little past 6 pm. It's to her surprise, though, when she's peeling off her flour-coated apron, she spots Harry standing outside the bakery, a cozy cardigan and a graphic t-shirt covering his body.

Y/N has to do a double take. He didn't say anything about meeting her at work this evening, but he has to be here for her, doesn't he?

After sliding her jacket on and grabbing her tote bag, she exits the bakery, closing the glass door behind her gingerly. Harry turns, his eyes lighting up when he sees her.

"Hey," he greets with a grin, "Have a good day at work?"

"Um, yeah, it was alright. Sorry, did we say you would pick me up? I must've forgotten—"

"Oh, no," Harry shakes his head as he jerks his head in the direction of his car, reaching out to slide her bag off of her shoulder. He takes it into his hand, his fingers wrapping around the canvas strap as she shuffles to keep up. "I finished making dinner a little early, figured I'd meet you here. Is that alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's really nice of you, thank you."

Harry hums as they approach his car. He unlocks the doors and they both get in, but he leans over before she has a chance to buckle herself up, clicking her seatbelt in. It's a small act that makes the butterflies return, but she doesn't comment on it as he starts the engine and begins the short drive back to hers.

"I made us some veggie pasta for dinner tonight. Does that sound good?"

"Delicious," Y/N replies honestly as she watches blurs of warm-toned leaves go by. "Thank you again."

A soft smile appears on his lips as he pulls onto her road. "Of course. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. A little tired. Nervous, to be honest."

Harry chuckles and briefly glances over at her, "Yeah? Nothing to be nervous about. We'll take it slow."

She shuffles in her seat and wedges her hands between her thighs. "Just don't want you to judge me, is all."

"I won't, but we did manage to forget to have the conversation on hard sexual limits. Do you mind listing yours?"

She nods. She's done this dance enough times to know the importance of discussing this subject matter, though she doubts there's much Harry could do that wouldn't be a turn-on for her.

"Um, any bathroom things, fisting, foot stuff... I'm fine with anal as long as we agree upon doing it beforehand. And if you're going to inflict physical pain on me, that's fine, but I'd prefer it if we built up to it — so, like, starting with spanking then the belt or a paddle."

"Sure, that makes perfect sense. I like to have conversations with my subs after we do a scene, so we can see how you feel about what we did," he pulls into a parking spot outside of her home, yanking the key from the ignition, "And, just so you know — no anal tonight and no spanking unless you deserve it."

He taps her cheek gently with his spare hand and she flushes as she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car. She follows him up to her front door and fishes her keys from the pocket of her jacket, unlocking it and stepping inside.

"Are y'alright with the traffic light system?" Harry questions as he sets her bag down on the slim table placed in the entryway.

"Yeah. My safe word is yarn, just FYI."

He wrinkles his eyebrows and pulls a few to-go containers out from his own bag. He opens his mouth to question her but she puts her hand up to stop him.

"I like to crochet. Don't make fun of me for it."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Harry murmurs, traipsing in the direction of her kitchen, "Go change out of your work clothes and put something pretty on for me, angel girl."

She's happy to comply, immediately feeling giddy at Harry telling her what to do from the get-go. When she gets upstairs and to her bedroom, she meanders over to the drawer she has for evenings like this. It's filled with lacy bodysuits and ruffly underwear, knee high socks, and pastel lingerie. Eager to rid her body of the jeans and sweater she wore all day, she opts for a sheer pink bralette and matching shorts that barely cover her bum. It's a sweet set that she personally likes, but she can't help the slight worry that Harry won't enjoy it as much as she does.

She's already meandering into her little headspace as she heads back downstairs. Harry's already plated up their dinner, complete with small servings of a side salad. He looks up as soon as he hears her soft padding across the length of the living room, his jaw falling slack at her appearance.

"Look at you," he coos, standing from the couch and closing the distance between them, "You look beautiful."

Y/N licks her lips, keeping her gaze low. She feels herself slipping, but for once, she's not scared of letting it happen.

"What's wrong, little one?" Harry asks gently, pressing his pointer finger and thumb to her chin, raising her head, "Are you feeling small already?"

She nods, her eyes round.

"Mm, that was quick. Just from daddy taking care of you and putting on these pretty little clothes, huh?"

Again, she nods.

"Alright. Let's get some food in your belly and then daddy can play with you a bit?"

This time, she shakes her head.

"No? No scene tonight?" Harry guesses through furrowed brows.

"Wanna play now, please."

"Ahhhh," he nods, understanding now that she's looking to skip out on dinner. "Gotta eat first, baby. Then we'll play."

Y/N pouts and he chuckles, wrapping his fingers around her wrist and tugging her towards the couch.

"C'mon. You can sit in my lap, hm?"

Still in the trousers he wore to work today, Harry settles back against the couch. He pulls her body into his, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady.

"Is this good?" he asks softly, catching the shell of her ear.

"Yes." she peeps, nibbling on her lip.

"Alright baby, grab your food for me. Gotta eat at least half before we do anything."

Wringing her hands in her lap, Y/N doesn't move. Harry runs his fingertips along the length of her arm, nosing at her shoulder.

"Would you... daddy, I..."

Her voice trails off and his heart squeezes, eager to coax whatever she's trying to say out of her.

"Ask, honey. Use your words." he encourages tenderly.

She forces the words out, even if they feel humiliating despite her clouded head. "Can you feed me, please?"

Harry hums. He won't say it in the moment because he can tell the request was difficult to muster out, but his entire body feels infinitely softer. He leans forward to grab her serving, scooping some pasta on the fork.

"Y'gonna be good and eat for me now?"

She nods, "I will. Thank you, daddy."

He murmurs out a you're welcome, continuing the quiet pattern of feeding her, watching her chew and swallow, and going back for more. He doesn't let her get off without eating a few bites of salad, chuckling gently at her quiet protests.

"Still feeling good?" Harry asks, setting her empty bowl back on the coffee table.

"Mhm. Playtime now?"

He smiles and nods, carefully shimmying her body off his lap. "Why don't you go upstairs and wait for me? Daddy needs to eat too."

Y/N shakes her head and sinks to the carpet, pressing her chin to his knee. "Wanna be close, please."

"Yeah?" Harry chuckles, grabbing his own bowl of pasta, "Okay, baby, you can sit there but no touching. I know you're nearly gagging for my cock."

He watches as she shivers, nibbling on her bottom lip and shifting her position slightly so her cheek is smushed against his thigh. He laughs quietly and threads his fingers through her hair, quickly eating his own portion. He can't deny that he's just as excited to get started — he, too, has been thinking about this all day, deciding what positions he'd fold her body into, if he'd edge her or overstimulate her with orgasm upon orgasm. He didn't want to fully push her limits so quickly — he wanted to create a foundation of trust between each other, but he couldn't help the inevitable daydreams that clouded his day.

He finishes his food quickly, tapping her head playfully to alert her that he's done. She lifts her head and he takes in her moony gaze, his heart thumping quickly in his chest at how sweet she looks.

"Upstairs, bunny. Hands and knees, bum in the air, okay?" He plucks at her bottom lip as he grants her guidance, her eyes fluttering shut, relieved to finally be getting instructions. She scurries up to her bedroom, listening to Harry putter around as he places their dirty dishes in the sink. As he asks, she lets her knees meld into the foamy texture of the mattress. With her cheek pressed against the pillow, she folds her legs and maneuvers her lower half into his requested position.

It feels like an eternity before Y/N hears Harry enter the room, shutting the door behind him. He doesn't move to remove any of his clothes, instead kneeling onto the bed behind her.

"You've been doing so good for daddy, haven't you, baby?"

She knows it's a rhetorical question but she nods into the plushy pillow, wiggling her butt. He chuckles and allows his palms to roam the expanse of her skin, from the bottoms of her thighs up to the swell of her ass. She keens at the feel of his touch, already obsessed with the way his large hands fit over her body.

"We won't be doing too much tonight, but I'll be asking for your color consistently. I want you to use your safe word at any point you deem necessary. Is that clear?"

Y/N nods her head and hums, though her answer is slightly muffled by the fluff of the pillow.

He continues rubbing slow circles into the globes of her ass, intent on getting her to feel as relaxed as possible. He can tell she's excited — he is, too — but above anything, he wants her to be calm.

"I brought some toys and things for us to play with," Harry continues, her ears perking up, "Can you tell me your color for each of them? It's perfectly okay if it changes at some point. I'd just like an idea of what you want."

Y/N has never had someone care this much — every time a dominant brought a toy to a session, he'd thrown it in there haphazardly. A vibrator turned up way too high, terribly knitted rope and, the worst by far, a butt plug that wasn't lubed whatsoever.

So she's keening over the care Harry puts into his role, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as he shuffles off the bed for a moment and slings the tote bag onto the comforter. She still can't see a thing that he's doing, but as she floats into a comfortable cloudy mindset, she becomes more and more content with letting him make the rules.

"Okay, baby. Know you want daddy to make the decisions but I need you to be good for me and tell me what you're comfortable with," Harry murmurs, his fingertips dancing along the soft material of her waistband. He doesn't dip below or tug them down; it more so feels like a reminder of what can come if she's good. "Tying your wrists with silk ties. Color?"

Her pussy pulsates at the immediate vision of her arms tied high above her head, unable to touch herself or him. "Mm. Green."

"And what about your legs? Are you okay with rope, or would you prefer silk down there, too?"

"Either one, daddy. Green for both."

Harry hums, dipping down to slowly press light kisses down the length of her spine. She shivers at the sensation of his soft lips making contact with her skin for the first time. "A vibrator for your cute little pussy?"

"Green," she whimpers as his hands find purchase on her hips.

"Can daddy use his mouth on you?" he asks, the low vibrations of his voice making her core leak with arousal. "On your pussy?"

"Yes, yes," Y/N nearly pleads, bucking her hips up against his grasp. He tuts softly, and she can imagine the way his tongue flicks up against his two front bunny teeth, a look of disappointment painted over his face.

"Be patient, bunny. Don't need you squirming around just 'cos you wanna be touched."

She wants to groan out when he removes his hands from her skin but resists the urge, especially because he just told her to be patient (something Y/N has never been good at). She feels like it's a punishment in and of itself — he's barely done anything, but she can still feel the phantom kisses he placed down her back, and the skin stretching over her hips somehow feels lonely without his large palms pawing at it.

"On your back." Harry suddenly instructs. She's quick to obey, rolling over onto the plush duvet. He's fast in his movements and already kneeling above her, wrapping her wrists together and fastening a bow with pink silk. "Have you used these before? Do you know how to get out of them if you need to?"

Y/N nods. She knows that she can simply pull her wrists apart to quickly dissolve the knot, instantly freeing herself.

"Good girl. Daddy's gonna use rope for your legs, okay? Use your safe word or red if you need."

She has to admit, she's immediately impressed with Harry's apparent knowledge of bondage. She's been tied up many times before, but if she had to guess how many times someone's properly tied her hands, breasts, or legs with rope, it would likely only be once or twice.

A wet gasp leaves her mouth when she realizes Harry isn't just tying her ankles down to the bed post. Instead, he's pressing her calves into the backs of her thighs, the slight burn of the rope pressing into her flesh in the most delicious way. Although she's able to close her legs, the knots still remove most of her mobility, especially with her arms tucked above her head.

After finishing with her legs, Harry stands from the bed, still in his tee-shirt and trousers. He admires his work from above with a devilish smirk on his face, making Y/N's skin warm.

"Aren't you just a wet dream?" he mocks lightly, trailing his fingertips up and along her knee, "All tied up and absolutely useless, hm? Can't even get out of bed, can you?"

Y/N shakes her head, her bottom lip beginning to wobble at his teasing. Everything about the scene is already so intense, the build-up so delicious and consuming and— fuck, he hasn't even touched her yet.

"You just need your daddy to do everything for you, don't you?" Harry continues, kneeling into the mattress. His hands find the insides of her thighs and he pushes them apart, but his eyes don't even fall to her core, instead keeping them square on her wide-eyed gaze. "Helpless little baby, aren't you? Say it. Say your daddy's helpless baby."

"I'm— I'm daddy's helpless baby." she stammers out, her tongue heavy in her mouth.

"Are you gonna cry already, bunny?" he asks, his lips curling up into a wicked smirk, "Haven't even fuckin' done a thing and you're crying over being tied up. This is what you wanted, isn't it? Wanted daddy to make all your choices? Get all cock dumb and drunk on my cum?"

She nods futilely. She doesn't even realize the wetness pooling in the corners of her eyes, but she feels tears leaking steadily as soon as he mentions it.

"P-please daddy. Wanna be touched."

"Ah, so you do have some thoughts going on up there."

It seems like maybe that's all it takes for Harry to finally cease his mocking, digging into the tote bag at the side of the bed to produce a silicone vibrator. It's light blue and long, with a bulbous head at the tip that she assumes is for stimulating the spongey spot deep inside of her.

He finds a spot between her thighs, kneeling back on his ankles. His hands move up her inner thighs and to the creases of where her legs meet her core, the sheer fabric of her pale pink shorts immediately giving way to the wetness seeping from her hole. Harry nearly groans out at that, the sight going straight to his rock hard cock being strained by layers of clothing.

With a feather light touch, he thumbs over her clit through the material. She immediately jolts and he chuckles, moving his finger to gently stroke over her mound.

"Desperate little thing. Begging for daddy's touch."

"Yes," Y/N mewls at the top of the bed, wiggling against the rough rope, "I need it daddy, please, touch me, I've been so good—"

"Have you?" he asks, retrieving his hand, "All you've done is do as I've asked. If anything, I'm the one that should get rewarded, don't you think? Picked you up from work, fed you, tied you up... sounds like you're just being greedy to me."

"I'm not— t-that is being good, daddy, I didn't touch myself like you said a-and I've earned it, please."

She's fully crying now, tears leaking from her eyes in steadfast streams that it actually makes Harry feel bad. She hasn't even stopped her begging by the time he's pulling her shorts down to reveal her weeping pussy, a soft tsk leaving his mouth.

"Stop pleading, bunny, I'll give you want you're so desperate for," Harry says, grabbing the vibrator. He'd initially planned to work her with his fingers before pressing the toy against her clit and pushing it inside, but he hasn't even spread her open and he can already see the creamy arousal coating her lips. He thinks that if he teases her for much longer, she may just disintegrate into the bed.

So instead, because he's him and he's not a nice dom, he cranks it onto the medium setting and nudges it up against her clit. She instantly gasps out and jerks her hips up at the vibrations, a near-yell leaving her throat. He's aware that every person is different and it'll take him some time to learn her body, but with the way that her legs are already shaking as he uses more pressure to press the toy against the bundle of nerves, he thinks he he's getting somewhere.

"Are you gonna cum already?" Harry asks, his eyebrows knitted together as his eyes rake over her body. Her own eyes are scrunched up, her lips parted as small whimpers escape her throat, beads of sweat beginning to tumble down the slopes and curves of her skin — it's a sight, and he wishes to commit it to memory.

"Y-yes," she admits, nodding quickly, "Can I? Please?"

In response, he transfers the vibrator to his left hand and slowly pushes a finger into her pulsating hole.

"Go ahead."

He strokes once or twice against her g-spot with his finger before she's crumbling, her chest concave with haphazard breaths and her back arched. Moans readily fall from her lips, her pussy squeezing his finger so tight it nearly makes him cum on the spot.

As Y/N comes down from her peak, she recalls Harry saying that they weren't doing anything too crazy today, so she wonders if that's it. If so, she supposes that's fine, but she thinks she'll over him a blowie, offering to let him fuck her face while she's still tied up with silk and rope.

Instead, he cranks the vibrator up another setting and pushes a second finger inside, eliciting a broken groan from her chest.

"Again." Harry instructs, curling his fingers deep inside of her.

"O-oh," Y/N whimpers with shaking thighs and a dizzy head, "Daddy, I—"

"Again, bunny." he repeats, quickening the pace of his fingers. "I want another one. Now."

She quickly realizes that she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to reject Harry, because it only takes a few more pumps of his digits until she's squeezing him again. She's never had two orgasms so close together and she finds that this one is more intense, her muscles not even fully relaxed as they contract around him once again.

Her eyes are still closed when he removes his fingers and she thinks she hears a faint sucking noise, though she can't be sure. He lowers the vibrator setting but keeps it flush against her clit, despite the way her pussy is all but begging for a break.

"Color." Harry demands, his hand finding the backside of her knee.

"G-green," she hiccups through tear-stained cheeks, "Can keep going, daddy. Please."

He nods once, lowering so his stomach is pressed against the mattress now. He finally clicks the toy off and pushes it to the side, pausing his assault on her core before spreading her lips open with his fingers.

"Jesus, you're fuckin' pretty," he mutters, watching as her hole pulsates from two back-to-back orgasms. He spits, the saliva landing on her spread slit, making her gasp. "Who owns this pussy, bunny?"

Y/N's chest is heaving, but she still manages his honorific through wet, splotchy cheeks.

"Say it again." he commands before leaning forward to lick a fat stripe from her hole to her clit.

"It's yours, daddy." she whispers, her hands forming tight fists above her form.

"Good girl. That's what I want you to say when you cum next, okay?"

She doesn't have a chance to question yet another orgasms as his tongue makes contact with her pussy, moaning deeply. He's already obsessed with her taste and she's sure she's never had someone go down on her with this much vigor. She's gulping for air when his tongue darts in and out of her hole before licking up to her clit, lips wrapped around the nub as he sucks harshly, whines sounding from her mouth at the sensitivity.

Y/N has never understood the phrase "making out with her pussy" until this exact moment.

She doesn't even know if he's coming up for air much, but he's quick to figure out the pattern that makes her thighs shake. Messy sounds come from below as he slurps at the arousal leaking from her, using the width of his tongue to lick upwards to her clit over and over again.

"Daddy!" Y/N squeals, jerking her hips involuntarily, only to be pressing her core even closer to his mouth, "Please, I— I think—"

"Cum." he mutters into her, suckling at her clit with such fervor that Y/N genuinely thinks she may pass out.

She doesn't, though, but the intensity of her orgasm claws up her body rapidly, loud cries bubbling up her throat as she repeats clamors of, "it's yours daddy, your pussy, it's yours."

She feels him press chaste kisses against her mound as he gently begins to untie the ropes, slowly easing her legs out of their angled positions. Once they're free, he helps her stretch them outward, continuing his trail of kisses up her body until he's straddling her waist between his thighs.

"Color," Harry murmurs, reaching up to release his wrists from the silk. Her eyes are set on the bulge in his pants and he gently taps her cheek, "Bunny, tell me your color."

"Green, daddy. That looks like it hurts."

She uses her newly freed hands to point at his crotch and he chuckles, shaking his head.

"I'm fine, lovebug. Are you sure you're still green? Looking quite floaty."

"I am," Y/N lulls her head to the side, leaning it against her shoulder as she circles her wrists, "Wanna keep going though. 'm okay."

"Do you remember your safe word?" he questions, grabbing one of her wrists and pressing soft kisses into the skin.

"Mhm."

"What is it?"

"Yarn. 'cos I like to crochet."

Harry grins, relieved that she isn't too far off the deep end. He finds her to be especially adorable when she's in her little space, the moony gaze in her eyes removing any traces of stress from her day-to-day life.

"That's right, baby," he replies, pulling off his tee-shirt. "Daddy's gonna fuck you now. Is that alright?"

"Yes, please. But I don't think I wanna cum again."

He hums and nods, unbuckling his pants and kicking them off his legs, "That's perfectly fine, bunny. You got daddy so hard that I don't think it'll take much for me to cum."

Y/N giggles at that and makes grabby hands at him, making him chuckle. "Off, please," she says, pointing to the briefs straining his cock.

"You're such a polite little girl, did you know that?" Harry asks as he pushes his underwear down, settling in between her legs.

"Daddy's polite girl."

If his cock wasn't painfully hard right now, he might've laughed at her repeating his words. Unfortunately, an hour of overstimulating Y/N and watching her writhe beneath his grasp, all tied up with no choice but to just take it — he's shivering at the images of it, and he knows he needs to cum within the next five minutes or his dick will surely fall off.

"Gonna push in, okay?" Harry asks softly, rubbing circles into her hip, "Remember, tell me if you need to stop. Daddy will always listen to you."

Y/N nods her head, blinking away the leftover moisture in her eyes from her bout of cries earlier. She knows that if she didn't feel so comfortable with him, there's no way she would be this far in her little space right now, where she just wants him to take and take until he's satisfied. It's maybe happened three or four times in the past with a dom she had that was actually pretty good, but she knows now doesn't even begin to measure up with Harry.

When his cock pops through her tight walls, it's a bit of a stretch, but she's wet enough with arousal from three orgasms that it barely burns. Instead, she finds herself enjoying the way her core adapts to his shape — not to mention, he looks gorgeous above her with his eyes squeezed closed and his jaw dropped in a quiet groan.

When she doesn't safe word, Harry starts to move. He takes it slow, knowing that if he immediately starts to pump the full of his length inside of her, it may cause her more pain than pleasure, regardless of how small she's feeling. Her plushy lips part as moans begin to fall from them, hooking her ankles behind his form to bring him closer.

"You're so big, daddy," Y/N breathes out, a strangled whimper coming from Harry. "I love it, I love having you inside me."

"Yeah? My little girl wants her daddy's cock in her all the time?" He pushes through grit teeth, his jaw flexing as he begins to quicken his strokes, "Tell me, bunny. Tell me how much you want daddy."

"Oh—," she mewls as he begins to brush up against her g-spot, "I want it always daddy, I-I need it— oh, god— please daddy, please—"

"Sweet little girl sounds so pretty when she begs," He says as he takes one of his palms and presses it against her lower stomach, "This pretty pussy is mine now. You hear me? It's daddy's pussy."

"Yes, yes— fuck, it's yours daddy!"

Harry growls — actually growls — and shifts his hand down to smack against her clit, a throaty moan falling from Y/N's mouth.

"Dumb little babies don't curse," he snaps, slapping her clit once more, "Or do you wanna be punished? Not get any of daddy's cum?"

She shakes her head quickly, her eyes nearly rolling back at the sting of pain radiating through her core. "I want it, please!"

"Yeah? Beg for it, bunny."

She does — she pleads and begs and all but grovels on her hands and knees until Harry pulls out and pumps his cock over her, ropes of warm cum painting the skin of her stomach all the way up to her chest. There's so much (like an impressive amount, Y/N thinks), and she wants to scoop it up and taste it, but Harry grabs her wrist and gives her a look before she can.

"If you do that, you will have to call out of work tomorrow."

She giggles and nibbles on her bottom lip, the little headspace she's swimming in telling her to disobey him. He sighs and shakes his head, grabbing the tee-shirt he was wearing earlier and swiping it over her body, ridding her of his cum.

"You're a naughty little thing," he mumbles, tossing the tee-shirt to the floor — he makes a mental note to throw her bedding and everything in the wash once she's out of her little space. "C'mon baby, up. Gonna take a bath now."

"With you, right?" Y/N mumbles with heavy eyes. He nods as he leans down to scoop her up in his arms, guiding them to the bathroom. He sits her on the toilet and she frowns, making him roll his eyes.

"You don't want a UTI. This isn't a sex thing, just pee while I run you a bath."

She does but only because he tells her to, and she knows she'll feel embarrassed about this tomorrow, but she's okay with it right now. He busies himself with turning the water and making sure it's warm before plugging the drain.

"I brought some bubble bath and epsom salts with me but it's in my bag. Can I leave you while I go get those?"

Again, Y/N nods wordlessly and he leans down to press a kiss to her hair. She flushed and wipes while he's gone, and he returns while she's washing her hands.

Harry knows it feels oddly domestic of them to be naked and prepping to take a bath together after an intense scene, especially since this is the first time they've done this. In the back of his mind, he wonders if they should've talked through the implications of them beginning this type of relationship — a ruined friendship being one of them — and he knows it was selfish of him to forgo that conversation altogether.

He ignores his worries and instead helps her into the bubble bath once it's ready, tucking his body in behind hers as soon as she's situated. It's silent between them for the first time in hours as he wraps his arms around her shoulders, lightly massaging her shoulders.

"How are you feeling?" He finally asks after a few moments of quiet.

"Tired," she mumbles, laying back against his broad chest. He can't tell if she's still floaty by her one-word response so he continues rubbing her back, allowing her to sink into the warmth of the bath.

They don’t speak again after that, not until the water goes cold and Y/N almost falls asleep in the comfort of his arms. In the meantime, he makes sure to gently swirl a clean washcloth over her skin, using his favorite lavender scented body wash, and wash her knotty hair. All the while he whispers how special she is, how she’ll never be too much, but especially not to him. He decides it’s okay if she doesn’t hear him because she’s too out of it, but hopes that his words at least seep into her subconscious so she believes the same.

#I will proof read this when I’m not so burnt out !#writing #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #Harry styles angst #harry styles x you #Harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #one direction

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yesimwriting · 3 months

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there's something about bestfriend!felix who has never had to restrain himself when it comes to feelings, who can't stand letting that much feeling just sit inside of him with nowhere to go.

he learns to hold it all in because feeling that deeply attached to one person isn't something he's used to, so it's a little confusing and hard to label, and maybe he's a little prone to commitment issues. but the main thing that keeps him from saying anything is the importance of the bond the two of you have created.

it's a kind of connection he's never had before, a trust and understanding that he's extremely protective of. so he doesn't say anything.

so he compromises with himself, allowing his affection to bleed into your friendship as much as the confines of a platonic relationship will allow. part of it is to satiate the need to be closer to you, and the rest of it is because he doesn't want anyone to think you're not his.

he's never been one to share, so he makes it as clear as he can that you're off limits.

when the two of you go out, he's even touchier than usual. some of it's the drinking and atmosphere, but most of it is because he can. you're close enough to leave giggly kisses against each other other's cheeks, hands, shoulders, necks. whatever's easiest to reach. he'll pull an arm around you to guide you through a crowded bar because you'll let him without hesitation.

and if felix catton constantly being all over you isn't enough to ward off every guy at oxford, he has nothing against appearing at your side and placing a hand around your waist. it doesn't matter if the guy is in the middle of a sentence or if you're saying something, you'll stop everything to immediately greet felix.

it's a subtle possessiveness that extends beyond just nights out. if you two are studying in the library with a group of friends, you're sitting next to him. if you're out to dinner with a group, he's mentioning inside jokes and topics of conversation that he knows you're interest in to make sure that he's your favorite.

if felix can't be your boyfriend, he's going to be your favorite person. he's not your friend, he's your best friend. a title that he makes sure to emphasize constantly. if you introduce him to someone as your friend, he's quick to teasingly correct you. thought i was your best friend.

he also uses the term to justify any hints of jealousy, and to get his way. if you're spending more time with a different friend (girl, boy, it doesn't matter), he's pouting a little when you finally do see him. if you notice and start expressing concern, he'll admit to it. "surprised you had time to notice anything about me." and when you're, rightfully, confused, he continues, "you're spending all your time with them, and i'm supposed to be your best friend."

sometimes, if its gone on for a significant amount of time, he'll start to think that maybe he's actually mad at you. it isn't fair, but felix can't help it. he'll do anything for you, and you're replacing him with someone that can't care about you the way he does.

but then you'll look at him, all wide eyed and exuding genuine shock at the thought of felix ever not being your best friend. you'll coddle him as much as he'll let you. he'll try to put up a hard exterior, but he's melting and letting it go almost immediately.

----

a short blurb to tide you all over and help me think through a request bc i wanted to finish writing it today but had to do a ton of homework instead <3

almost didn't post this bc the purpose of it was for me to work on characterization in a low stakes way after using up all of my mental but then decided why not!

a fuller, better developed version of this is coming soon 😭

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains

#saltburn imagine #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #felix catton #bestfriend!felix #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader

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sugar-grigri · 3 months

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Nayuta must become the big sister

I think what's especially interesting to note in chapter 154 is Nayuta's failure to use the right tactics.

Denji raised Nayuta correctly, emphasizing going to school, trying to control her possessive outbursts while being extremely present for her. In short, he nurtured her, giving her the protection he hadn't enjoyed as a child himself.

Although Nayuta knows her own nature and instincts, and is not naturally altruistic, she still looks at herself in a certain way: from society's point of view, and from her own, she is a child.

What I'm trying to say is that it's not insignificant to have Makima reincarnated; we could very well have had Nayuta, already an adult, because she's a devil who doesn't grow up. Nayuta already seems to grow up much faster than humans, so Fujimoto could very well have decided that a demon, especially a knight of the apocalypse, should already be born as an adult.

She grew up more quickly, and by the time Denji had finished devouring Makima, she already had the appearance of a 4/5-year-old child.

Fujimoto made Nayuta a child, because it's this state of being that makes her a control demon so paradoxical. Indeed, if Makima was so powerful, it wasn't just because she was older; the fact that Denji had killed Makima didn't change anything in terms of the fear one can feel of control.

What affects Nayuta's power, capable of controlling only 3 people at a time, is the way she conceives herself.

Makima was so powerful because she occupied a fairly high hierarchical position among public hunters, just as she had unquestionable authority over her agents. What's more, the government assigned her an objective of a universal nature: to protect all mankind from evil things. This role of universal protector, albeit a protective one, naturally places Makima, the control demon, in the role of guardian, humanity being as harmless as obedient puppies. The only thing Makima couldn't feel superior to was Chainsaw Man, for he is the entity that provides the means to pursue her universal goal of protection.

The key to Nayuta's fate is the fact that she has been loved and pampered by Denji. She makes it clear: it's natural for a demon to kill humans. Which, on the other hand, indicates that it's completely unnatural and almost unnatural for a demon to love and be loved by a human.

To have been loved, to have been happy, enabled the control demon to understand other ways of relating than pure domination, whereas Makima didn't understand human relationships, to the point of being moved by a hug, so unattainable for her.

Nayuta understands the nuances of relationships, just as she claims not to be the leader of powerful public officials but a mere child, which always places her in an inferior position to her enemies. That's why she's less powerful: to be in control, she needs to feel superior, which she can't easily do when she sees all these adults surrounding her so vehemently.

She focuses more on her social role as a child to be protected than as a demon attacking head-on. She still adheres to her role as a child, she's not obsessed with CSM because she can't reach him, he's now in her inner circle, she doesn't have a universal goal such as protecting the humanity like Fami suggested, she just wants to go to school.

In short, the control demon no longer wants to control, no longer needs to, or when she does, it's out of sheer necessity. The fact that she's weaker was Kishibe's objective when he gave custody of the demon to CSM, to make the control demon more human, more childlike, to avoid this exponential need for control. In short, the fact that the Control Demon's supreme objective is to be loved has contained its power, because its objectives have been achieved.

We can see how love is an unnatural thing, because it limits a demon who should be supreme through his solitude. For Nayuta's sake, to get out of her situation in chapter 154 would be to have a crisis of ego, and I think that symbolically it's not out of the question that if Nayuta abandons her role as a child, she'll grow up brutally. For a demon, appearance and age are simply a question of positioning in society. Makima had chosen to take on the appearance of a femme fatale to enable her to manipulate more effectively.

A soft voice, an attractive appearance to encourage us to lower our guard, the better to control coldly.

This is also why Barem is so dangerous to her: he's big-boned, aggressive and very tall, so he can be naturally frightening to a child. If Nayuta wants to control him and regain the upper hand, she mustn't see herself as a child with a gun pointed at her head. That even when assaulted, even when held at gunpoint, she's still in full control, that despite the chaos, she's still superior.

It's no coincidence that it's a gun that's pointed at her. Guns are fatal for humans, but for demons, especially the most powerful ones, they don't mean much. Nayuta doesn't need to be afraid of a gun, she needs to embrace her demon nature.

And she's on that track because protecting CSM, rather than being protected by him, means she can now play the role of a big sister.

What's more, she needs to get to know her own need for violence and cruelty. Chaos isn't what she likes, this chain of violence and combat isn't what she desires, because what she wants is cold, absolute control, where all she gets is unfailing obedience, people falling into line, not men with spears fighting each other in a primal manner.

She has been brought up by Denji, adopting his mannerisms and his way of speaking, but she also needs to distance herself from this fraternal figure in order to be herself.

All this leads me to say that the Knights of the Apocalypse, by moving away from what they are, are THE ONES who bring about the apocalypse, which is totally obvious, hence their name.

By loving something abnormal for the demon of control, by falling in love with his worst enemy for the demon of war, by wanting to save humanity to better eat what it produces for the demon of famine... show how they are all affected by humanity, to the point of putting aside their demonic nature.

Think of it as a kind of broken balance, which leads the eldest, the demon of death, to intervene. Why? For death represents absolute equilibrium; no one can escape it, it is an absolute rule from which it cannot be dislodged, it is an inevitable and firm end. Common to all species.

So she intervenes, to pull the ears of her little sisters Nostradamus' prophecy doesn't predict the apocalypse - in fact, it predicts that it will be triggered by the Knights of the Apocalypse, who have set out to protect mankind from the apocalypse. It may sound complicated when you put it like that, but the idea is to reinforce the idea of inevitability: protecting mankind from the apocalypse isn't a rebellion, something that can work; on the contrary, Fami's plan triggers it because she denies her nature. It's a losing game.

When I say that Nayuta needs to be a little more Makima again, it's not just for her own good, it's also for the good of humanity, and I find that ultra interesting: it's necessary for the antagonist we got rid of in part 1 to return, at least partially, in part 2.

But she mustn't go back to being that obsessive protector, she must simply resume its role as predator. Mankind needs predators: with the evolution of technology, it thought it could challenge its food chain, but paradoxically it needs to be bruised by demons to survive, since the balance of the world is at stake.

It's all the more symbolic that Barem and Fami use the wrong strategy: like Prometheus, they give fire to men via contracts with the fire demon, reinforcing the idea of evolution to escape its nature. It's even more symbolic that many weapons serve this project, such as Miri, the demon of the whip and the spear, hybrids linked to this civilisation.

It's absurd for the demon of control to argue that she's just a child. If she wants CSM to escape, she must also allow him to free himself from his role as big brother and protector. And the answer to this question was given by Fumiko, who didn't realise that dogs and Meowy weren't just animals. What she should despise is certainly not her own family.

Humanity is nothing more than pets, and this realisation is the key for Nayuta to become herself again.

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 154 #denji #denji hayakawa #nayuta hayakawa #nayuta #makima #barem bridge #fami #yoru #kishibe #death devil #fire devil #my thoughts #I wrote this in class oooops

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unreliablesnake · 1 year

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The Bet – part 2 (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: Ghost admits that he wants more from you, and so the two of you go on your first official date.

Note: Here's part 1. I didn't expect people to like it this much, so I decided to write a short part 2. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Part 3

Warnings: none, it's fluff.

It had been there for weeks. An invisible string connecting the two of you, pulling you to the other no matter how hard you tried to resist. Again and again you found yourself staring at him in secret, watching him intently even in crowded rooms. You didn’t care that anyone could notice it, you couldn’t resist the urge to keep an eye on him.

And Ghost was aware of this. His eyes often met yours, his gaze resting on you for longer than it did when he looked at other members of the team. Could it be that he felt it too? Could it be that he noticed that string as well?

All of this had begun when you licked his arm because of a stupid dare. Ever since he touched you, you had been yearning for more, you wanted to feel his hands all over your body, pleasuring you in any creative way he could think of. He lit a fire inside of you, and you didn’t know how you could put it out.

Not like you truly wanted it to end, after all it was the kind of sweet torture many often choose to experience. But they usually knew they would eventually get what they were waiting for, but in your case Ghost was off limits. He was a lieutenant, and as such, he was your higher up. It couldn’t happen. Not without consequences.

“Are you listening?” Ghost asked you, one palm placed on your shoulder, his thumb absentmindedly massaging your neck. “Sergeant, I asked you a question.”

Why did he have to do this? Did he really have to touch you? It made your knees weak and you were struggling to stand straight. His hand stayed where it was, maybe even gripping you a little harder now, keeping you in place.

You cautiously looked around, making sure no one was around, then stood on your toes and placed a soft kiss on his mask. He drew in a sharp breath as his dark eyes fell on you, watching as you stepped back and folded your hands behind your back.

Despite his initial reaction, he looked surprisingly calm, maybe even a little cold. “What was that all about?” he asked you with his head slightly tipped to the side.

“I don’t know,” you lied. Because you knew. Deep down you knew you wanted him to know you were interested in him. That you wanted him so badly that it made you stupid.

Ghost shook his head as he inhaled loudly. “Don't lie to me. Just say it. Tell me the truth.”

“I can't… I just,” you tried again, but your voice faded as you failed to put your thoughts into words.

His eyes suddenly softened and he even took a small step towards you. “I already told you, love, only do things like that when you really want it, not because of a bet,” he told you, although his voice was kind.

Letting out a sigh, you shook your head. “It's not a bet, not this time,” you assured him.

Ghost reached out and took your hand, gloved fingers lacing with yours. It took you some time to look him in the eye and see how expressive they were now. Those warm brown eyes were locked on you, telling you that he was eagerly waiting for your explanation.

“While we were away with Price and Gaz, I–I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done. I know it was just a stupid, childish bet, but–”

“But you want more now,” he interrupted you, his voice carrying a hint of hesitance despite sounding confident. You nodded, silently waiting for his reaction. “You're not the only one,” Ghost finally admitted.

This brought a smile to your face. He wanted you as well. So you weren't imagining things, he truly felt the same way about you. You raised your free hand to his masked face, resting it on his chin that was free of the hard plastic skull, and he immediately leaned into your touch.

“You haven't even seen me without my mask yet,” he suddenly said, earning a shake of your head in response. “And if it turns out I'm not your type?”

“I know you and that's enough for me. Do you want me to tell you about all the things I want you to do to me?” you asked suggestively, your hand moving from his chin to his chest, a finger hooking under his vest to pull him closer.

“Stop teasing me, Sergeant, or else…”

“Or what?”

Ghost let out a deep growl as he let go of your hand and simply pushed you until your back hit the nearest wall. Your entire body trembled from the excitement you felt, eagerly waiting for him to take off his mask and finally kiss you. But he had a different idea as he wrapped his hand around your throat and ran his thumb over your jawline before leaning closer to you.

You didn't say anything. You couldn't say anything. He didn't do much, yet it was more exciting than anything you had imagined in the past weeks. This man could play you like a violin, knowing perfectly well how to make you lose your sanity. You thought you were teasing him? No, you were just playing some stupid game.

This. This right here was the definition of teasing.

“Mission's almost over,” he began quietly, “why don't we meet once we're done here? We could have fun.” Even though you opened your mouth to respond, no sound left your throat. “I'll send you the time and the address. I won't wear my mask so I'll find you there. Just be patient, that's all you have to do.”

•••••••••

In the message Ghost told you where and when to meet, and he even warned you to call him Simon outside of work. It was okay, you couldn't wait to test what it would feel like when his name rolled off your tongue.

Simon.

You smiled to yourself after you silently mouthed his name while sitting at the bar, looking at your cocktail. As you stirred your drink with the straw, out of the corner of your eye you noticed a guy looking at you from a few seats away. Could it be him? He seemed tall and big enough.

“You shouldn't be ogling other men when you're waiting for your date,” someone suddenly whispered into your ear.

You turned your head to the side to face the source of the familiar voice. That's when you truly saw him, looking at you with the sweetest smile you'd ever seen. Is this what he had been hiding under that mask all this time? You gulped, having a hard time figuring out what to say. Should you kiss him? Or would it be too soon?

Before you could make up your mind, Ghost pressed his lips to yours, cautiously tasting you, as if he was unsure about the whole thing. Your heart wanted to jump out of your ribcage while you were kissing him, the excitement you felt being too much to bear. He was excellent at making you feel good, and he was certainly aware of the effect he had on women.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, love,” he told you before taking the empty seat next to you.

Giggling like some stupid schoolgirl, you twirled your hair and looked at him through your lashes. “You can't complain either, handsome.”

What the fuck was wrong with you? How did you turn into this giggling mess all of a sudden? It was just a handsome face and a kiss that felt too good to be true. Closing your eyes for a moment, you took a deep breath and listened to Ghost ordering a bourbon for himself.

You were screwed.

You were brought out of your thoughts by Ghost when he reached out to take your hand in his, large fingers enveloping it tightly. “Simon,” you began, enjoying the way it felt to say it out loud, “are you sure about this? I mean, about being here with me?”

The lieutenant flashed a surprisingly wide smile at you as he raised your hand to his lips. “I wouldn't be anywhere else.”

And you believed him. You believed every word he said because he was so nice, and warm, and soft, everything he wasn't while working. He was usually focused on the mission, and even though he was often worried about his teammates, he never seemed this relaxed.

“Do you live here? In London, I mean,” you asked.

Ghost shook his head. “No, I'm from Manchester. Lived there my whole life.”

Your face began to hurt from smiling so much, but you couldn't stop, not with him around. Simon and Ghost were so different that if you hadn't known he was coming here to meet you, he could've sat there next to you the whole night and you wouldn't have noticed it was him.

Simon seemed perfect so far–nice, and kind, and loving, unafraid to show his emotions. The more you found out about him as you talked, as you kept questioning him, the more you understood the use of the mask. He was building a barrier between his private and work personalities. He was protecting himself, and maybe even those he cared about.

Then your series of questions came to an end, and it was his turn to ask you about yourself. He wanted to know about your family, about your hobbies, about your taste in music and movies. He wanted to know everything, really. And he paid attention to your words. He truly wanted to get to know you, it wasn't just pretend.

“Why don't we watch a movie?” he asked you, referring to the new part of a series he now knew you loved. “I have time.”

But you didn't want that. You wanted something entirely different, something more intimate. You wanted all of him, finding out what it felt like to be touched by him. So you began to massage his hand with your thumb, giving him a seductive smile that easily told him what you truly wanted now.

“Or we could go to my hotel room,” he corrected himself with a smile.

You leaned over to place a soft kiss on his lips, one he eagerly turned into a more passionate one. He slowly slipped off his chair and stood next to you without breaking the kiss, hands resting on the sides of your neck to keep you focused on him. Little did he know that he didn't need to do that, you were already hyper-focused on him, forgetting about the outside world completely.

“I'd rather choose this latter option,” you said quietly, your forehead resting against his.

Ghost smiled at you before giving you another quick kiss. “I'm glad you said that.” He extended his hand, offering you to take it. “Come on love, let's get out of here.”

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #modern warfare ii #modern warfare #call of duty #mw2

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punkeropercyjackson · 1 month

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It's finally here!!!

Graphic design is my passion LMFAO but as i said i would do a while back,i've created a masterpost of all the Jason Todd content that's worth your time!This is rather long but he's existed since 1983 so!!

Base edit is my little sister @mayameanderings and tagging @coffeemilkcatz and @nanaonmars since they said yes when i asked if they wanted me to!Let's dive in then!

Batman 408-426,Detective comics 568-582,Superman annual 11,New Teen Titans 18-31,Blue Devil 19,Action comics 556 and 594,Batman Annuals 10-12 and Batman(The cult)for pre-reboot Robin!Jason my beloved

Nightwing Year One 101-106,New Teen Titans 55,Nightwing 10(1997)and Legends of the Dark Knight 100 for Dick and Jason siblinghood,Gotham Knights 34 for the short story of him and Alfred and Detective comics 790 for Bruce telling Cass about him as it takes place on Jason's birthday

Lost Days aka the Red Hood prologue

Under The Red Hood(2010)-The original comic is good in it's own right but the movie is leagues better written(Rare comic book adaption exception lmao)

Robin 177 and 182-183 for tha actual Tim and Jason beef instead of 'replacement' and 'enemy to caretaker' bs

Azreal:Death's Dark Knight 3(Can't give commentary on this one since i don't know Azreal like that,sorry)

Red Hood and The Outlaws(2016).Unlike the Utrh comic vs the Utrh movie,the original Rhato has nothing positive like the reboot

Not TECHNICALLY Jason BUT Duke is his favorite brother and Stephanie's the only Batfam girl he's truly close to so you should also stan them since he'd want you to /lh

Red Hood:Outlaw for the confirmation that Red Hood loves black women from infinity to infinityyyyy(meaning his love interest Dana Harlowe is introduced and featured as an mc in this run)

Urban Legends 1-6 for his return to the Batfam-Messy tbh but i do enjoy parts of it!

Task Force Z for him and Stephanie being a vigilante team and it has a prelude,that being Detective comics 1041-1043

Unkillables and Joker:The Man Who Stopped Laughing for Jayrose goodies and more of the above

Gotham War if you feel like turning off your brain to look at good art and laugh at dogshit writing

Red Hood:The Hill is his current run and when our queen Dana comes home from comics limbo!!!

The following is a misc list that's not required to include in your Jason knowledge but HIGHLY recommended you do just for fun!

Tiny Titans 23,29,33,39,45 and 47,Bombshells 46,60 and 62,Bombshells United 18-24,Lego Batman:Family Matters,A Death In The Family 2020,Batman:The Adventures Continue,Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 5-6,The Doom That Came to Gotham 2023 and The Teen Titans Go episode 'The Best Robin'(Pre-Reboot Robin Jason rights!!!).Also look up 'Nobody cares about Tim Drake' if you don't know what that is,you'll love it

Jason also appears in the Lego DC Super Villains games that i highly recommend as well especially because my girlfriend is a mega fan of it and i don't know much about Lego Batman 3:Beyond Gotham but please avoid the aformentioned original Rhato,Red Hood:Outlaws and the Gotham Knights game as they feature extremely problematic writing not limited to but including racialized misogyny and ableism and do disservice to Jason himself anyway so you wouldn't want to consume them to begin with if you want to like him.I have mixed feelings on the Arkham Knight and Injustice games series' but they are objectively fairly good so i wouldn't say no to giving them a shot to see if you like them

And for the finale we have Wayne Family Adventures-Definitely a good read but to be totally honest it does Duke DIRTY and it sucks so much of DC to have marketed as his series to not only not follow through at all and make it an ensemble cast instead but ALSO deprive him of his actual characterization and story to make him a demure weak black boy stereotype.I won't judge you at all for liking it if you decided to read it or have already but kindly keep this in mind and consider joining me and my mutuals in our rewrite of it to give our Signal of Hope and Chaos the writing he deserves or at least support us through likes and reblogs!Happy Jason readings and have a good day💕

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yes-divine-ruler · 10 months

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Off Limits - Warren Lipka, (Pre Cult) Kai Anderson

x fem!reader

content warning: threesome, vaginal sex, oral (warren and reader receiving), smoking weed, some sneaking around, not proofread bc i just wanna post it

word count: 3.7k

"I don't get what her problem is," Warren shrugged his broad shoulders at you as you tried to keep up with him on the sidewalk.

You'd caught the late bus home from the college library, and your best friend's older brother, and neighbour, had offered to walk you home. Warren happened to be leaving college the same time as you after an intense, sweaty hour and a half of soccer practice. When you'd bumped into him at the bus stop, Warren sparked conversation, having recognised you as the girl who is always at his house, but that he didn't quite know. You'd never taken the liberty in spending a lot of time with your best friend's family. Maybe it was because she was strict on the "don't date my brother" rule, and had kept you in hiding because of it.

"You must've done it in the past," it was your turn to shrug your shoulders, as you delve into the reason why you'd never formally met.

Warren let's out a loud laugh and claps his hands together for emphasis. You continue to walk silently beside him as he begins to explain himself.

"See, the girl she's talking about- I didn't even know they were friends. We bumped into each other at a party. She didn't even say anything and I know now that she knew exactly who I was!" Warren let's out a snort , "so if anything, that's my dear sister's fault for having friends that are horny for her brother."

You laugh along with him, trying not to make too much eye contact. It was weird enough that you were walking home with Warren; you didn't need to seem like you were just as bad as the girl that traumatised your best friend.

"Hey," Warren stops you as you arrive outside his house.

"My house is still a few doors down," you say with a small laugh, pointing your thumb in the direction of your house.

"Yeah I know, but I was wondering if you wanted to come inside? I got a friend with me, I think you'll like him. We're just gonna smoke up... if you're interested?" Warren's lips curl into a weary smile as he scratches the back of his head. You take a second to comprehend what he's asking, before you're thinking of how it might make your friend feel.

"Uh, I don't think your sister will like that," apart from the fact this was off limits, you were very intrigued to come inside and get to know your best friend's brother. He had already been so nice and it was easy to relax around him. He had a beguiling way of making people feel at ease.

"Pffft," Warren sways his hand dismissively, "she's not even here, she's staying the night at her boyfriend's place."

"Oh yeah," you mumble in agreement, realising now that any other excuse would make you look lame.

"Okay then," you nod to punctuate your sentence, lifting your gaze from your sneakers into Warren's dark, alluring eyes.

"Sick! We'll get in through the back," Warren guides you around to the corner of the house furtherest from the front yard. He stops short at a set of bulkhead doors, wrenching them open to reveal a flight of concrete stairs. You follow closely behind him as he ventures further and further down into the basement. You can't help but feel slightly nervous. You didn't want to seem inexperienced, or like you couldn't control yourself. A pungent, spunky aroma fills your nose once you're at the bottom of the stairs. A guy about your age sits on a tattered sofa in front of a TV, with a bong pressed tightly to his lips.

"This is Kai. Kai, say hello to Y/N," Kai leans back away from the bong, and blows out rings of smoke. You almost had to squint to see him through the thick, grey cloud he created.

"Hey," he offers a wave to you as he sets everything back down on the table. He had thick, chestnut hair that fell in his face. He was clothed in a white-t/flannel combo, and a pair of black jeans. He seemed like just the type of guy Warren would be friends with.

"Sit down Y/N," Warren takes a seat on the opposite side of the sofa to Kai, leaving only a spot in the middle. You clear your throat before you oblige and seat yourself between the two.

"So, what are you majoring in at college?" Kai asks you, a small smile playing at his lips as he awaits your response.

"Nothing too fancy," you smile back, "business and law."

"Fuck, that's cool," Kai lets out a dopey laugh with half-lidded eyes, "I'm doing religious studies."

Both Kai and Warren burst into a fit of laughter. You guess you could see the irony.

"That's cool too," your face flushes pink as Warren holds a lit joint in front of you. Your heart picks up pace just looking at it. You weren't an avid smoker, but you'd had your fair share of practice. It was still nerve wracking to smoke sitting between two guys you didn't really know.

"Want me to go first?" Kai leans forward and takes the joint from Warren's fingertips. You let him do it with a curt nod of your head.

You watched as Kai placed the roach between his lips . His chest expanded as he took a draw, and then he held it in.

"Stop trying to look cool Anderson," Warren snickered, leaning over and punching Kai in the arm. Kai reacted, exhaling the smoke sharply from his lungs and coughing as he tried to soothe his throat.

"Fuck... you... Lipka," Kai scowled at Warren between coughs, only making Warren laugh more.

"Now the lady's turn," Warren ignores Kai as he gets up to retrieve a soda from the bar fridge. You take a deep breath, and position the joint between your own fingers. This is so fucking stupid, you thought to yourself as you stared at it in your hand, why couldn't you just do it?

"You don't have to, you know," Warren shrugs, and goes to take the joint from you. You retract your hand away from his and shake your head.

"It's okay, I'll do it," you weren't sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself more.

"Okay princess, take your time," Kai jokes as he takes a seat next to you, propping his feet up on the coffee table. You offer him a fake laugh before finally finding the courage to bring the joint to your lips. You inhale, only a little, feeling your throat burn as your lungs fill with smoke. You hold it in for a moment before exhaling. You were surprised you didn't cough.

"Atta girl," Warren chuckles, taking the joint from your hand and bringing it to his own lips.

"Do you guys do this every night?" You asked Kai, as he mindlessly scrolled through the sit-com TV series category on Netflix.

He lets out a snort, "pretty much. Not every day does Warren bring a girl to hang out with us though."

You look over at Warren, who just rolls his eyes at his friend.

Your vision begins to go slightly blurry as you look around the room. Your fingernails dig into the skin of your thighs as your eyes settle on the small TV across from you. You were super high already and all you craved was a bag of crisps all of a sudden.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You look over at Warren, who's finished the joint and stubbed it out in the ashtray.

"It means, I only invite girls I think are pretty," he flirts, turning his entire body around to face you, "it just sucks that my sister kept us apart for so long. I wonder what she thinks would happen."

"Um.. this?," Kai rolls his eyes at his friend, "doesn't mean I'm off limits though."

Kai's way of flirting was much more obvious. He rests a hand behind your head on the sofa, and shuffles slightly closer to you. If it weren't for the pot, you'd be totally disgusted by their lame effort to trifle with you. Even though, you found them both undeniably attractive.

"I'm not even like that," your eyebrows knit together in confusion. Your best friend knew you didn't sleep around. It made you nervous and never appealed to you.

"It's not about you," Kai replies, taking another sip of his soda, "it's about Warren. He can't handle himself."

"Shut the fuck up Anderson, before I kick you out," Warren growls, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

"So you think I'm pretty?" You tease Warren, just as he reveals his face again. You hadn't realised that Kai had pretty much pressed the entire length of his thigh to yours in the last minute. His close proximity made your face hot.

"Yeah well, isn't it obvious?" Warren asks, with a small laugh, "you probably haven't seen me staring every-time you come over. Maybe it's because it's off limits."

"Like I said, Y/N," Kai smirks at you, "I'm not off limits."

"Did you guys trap me down here to fuck me?" You ask with a laugh, "because I'm not interested. Especially if it's going to upset my best friend."

"And if it didn't upset your best friend?" Kai probes, "smoking pot gets me ridiculously horny."

You let out a small laugh, shifting in your seat and rubbing your thigh back up against Kai's. He was right about one thing - pot definitely had the same effect on you, and it was beginning to skew your vision with rose-coloured glasses.

"Anderson, you're so fucking sick," Warren teases his friend, only for Kai to roll his eyes.

"How about you shut the fuck Lipka, and let me shoot my shot. It's not like you can do anything," Kai snickers back.

"I'm sitting right here guys. Seriously!" You argue back, standing from the couch and turning towards the two guys sat in front of you. You didn't appreciate being talked about like a piece of meat, or the bickering over you when you were just trying to relax and have a good time. Of course, it flattered you to a certain extent, but it wasn't the vibe you were searching for.

"Hey! Sit down, look, we're sorry. Right Kai? That's not cool of us," Warren responds softly without eye contact, whilst rolling another joint.

"Yeah, we're sorry," Kai backs up his friend, "come sit, we'll watch a movie."

You sit back down between them hesitantly, watching Kai flick through horror movies on Netflix. Warren offers you some of his joint, and without thinking, you take another hit. Kai gets up to switch off the lights, and joins you both back on the couch. The movie plays at a press of a button, and you settle yourself deeper in the backrest of the couch to get comfortable. Your head spins with the pot you'd just smoked, and it takes everything in you not to close your eyes and fall asleep. That is, until the first jump-scare of the movie frightens you half to death.

In the process, you hadn't realised you'd tucked yourself securely under Warren's arm. He doesn't object, instead wrapping his strong arm around you and holding you into his side. You can't help the accelerated beating of your heart as you basked in his scent. He smelt so good. Despite how bad it was that you were cuddled up with your best friend's older brother.

You turn over to glance at Kai, who's got a blanket draped across his lap. He's watching the movie with his eyes half-closed and the sight alone makes you giggle. You nudge Warren so he turns to look down at you and mouths 'what?'. You point a finger in Kai's direction, and then you both laugh at him quietly.

As the movie progresses, you find yourself more cuddled into Warren and even closer to Kai. You hadn't realised that you'd placed a hand on Kai's thigh, and that it was slowly advancing up his leg. God, what the fuck were you thinking? Trying to cuddle up to two guys at once? One of which you knew was off limits? It must be the weed.

Without turning his head, Kai places his hand strategically over yours. A dull pulse ignites between your legs and your mind races at 200 miles an hour, trying to think of how you were going to make this work.

"I can't choose," you randomly blurt, gaining the attention of both guys. Kai even paused the movie because he didn't think he'd heard you right.

"Did you just say 'I can't choose?'" Warren's brows knit together in confusion as Kai stares blankly at you. You immediately regretted saying anything at all, but now, you had to explain your way out of looking like an even bigger idiot.

"I mean, both of you want to fuck me, and I think I've changed my mind. Like Kai, I'm incredibly horny."

Warren almost chokes on his own tongue. Kai's hand on yours squeezes tightly, and the two guys look at each-other in disbelief. It was like they were telepathically agreeing something between them.

"Who said you have to choose?" Kai finally replies, taking your hand and moving it up his clothed thigh. You turn to Warren, who offers you a lopsided smile.

"I mean, he's right?" Warren says it like it's a question, and for a moment, you consider it. You'd never been in a situation quite like this one, where you were seated between two guys you found insanely attractive, who both wanted to dote on you.

"How would that even work?" You ask, trying to stifle your laughter. It just seemed so ridiculous that this was happening, regardless of how badly you wanted it right now.

"And have you done this before or something?" You look between Warren and Kai curiously. Kai shrugs his shoulders.

"I haven't with Lipka, but sure, I know how it works," Kai was confident enough to unzip his jeans from under your palm, leaving the fabric of his boxers being the only thing stopping you from touching him completely.

"Look- I'm horny as fuck, and high, and I think it'd be an interesting experience," Warren moves his arm from around you, and places it instead, on your thigh. His touch almost makes you sigh from how good it felt.

"Okay," you say simply, taking the liberty of making the first move and connecting your lips to Warren's. Never in a million years, did the three of you think you'd be in this situation. You just knew your best friend would be furious. But for some reason, it only fuelled your desire for them, alike to foraging for a forbidden fruit.

You feel Kai move from next to you, and soon there's two warm palms separating your legs. Distracted by Warren's tongue exploring your mouth, you pay little attention to Kai as he runs his hands up your thighs. Kai's fingertips skim the lower band of your panties, soon to dig into the waistband and take them off your legs. Everything was moving so fast. The kiss didn't break until you felt Kai's tongue on your pussy.

You moaned into Warren's mouth before he moved away to litter kisses down your jaw. It allowed you to let out as many sounds as you wanted to. Kai used his thumbs to seperate your folds. His nose nudged blissfully against your clit as he tasted you. One of your hands made its way into his hair, tugging softly on his brown curls as he expertly worked at your pussy. Warren worked fast to lift up your shirt, reaching around to your back to unclasp your bra and let it fall.

"Fuck, you taste good," Kai mumbled against your dripping cunt as Warren took one of your taut nipples in his mouth. He sucked on it, rolling his tongue around the stiff bud, kneading the other in his hand.

Your other hand wondered over to the front of Warren's jeans, unfastening the best you could with one hand. Taking the hint, Warren helps you tear down his pants and boxers, revealing his cock to your palm. You wrap your fingers around it, squeezing gently as you began to stroke him. Strategically smearing the pre cum that leaked from his tip down his length, your hand moved in sync with Kai's tongue as it immersed itself between your pulsing walls.

As if the heat had been turned up in the room, the three of you began to slightly perspire. Warren growls against your chest, feeling a tightness already in his groin. You take a moment to glance down at Kai, seeing him already staring up at you. He leaves sloppy kisses against your sensitive bundle of nerves, his gaze intense as he sucks you into his mouth. That being, your final straw.

"I'm gonna cum, oh my god!" You squeal as your orgasm washes over you in intense, pleasurable waves. Your thighs shake around Kai's head, and he doesn't stop until you're begging him to.

"I'm not breaking too many rules if it's just head?" Warren asks shyly, as Kai gets up from the floor. You ignore his question only for a moment, as Kai forces your lips onto his. His tongue swirls around your mouth, allowing the taste of you to linger on your own taste buds.

"Get up here, I need to bury my cock inside you, like right now," Kai is a little rougher than Warren, and pulls you up onto the couch on all fours. Now face to face with Warren's cock, it works perfectly.

"Does this answer your question?" You ask slyly, cupping his heavy balls in your hand as the tip pushes past your lips. Warren’s fingers tangle in your hair, pushing your mouth further down his thick cock. He hits the back of your throat, and surprisingly, it doesn’t make you gag.

You can feel Kai behind you, positioning his tip between your dripping folds. He spits, directly where his tip meets your pussy. A moment passed before he’s stretching you out from behind. Your eyes roll as he fits his cock inside you, spreading open your ass cheeks with his hands. His fingers dug into your skin, kneading at the plush of your ass as he finally, bottoms out inside you.

“Oh fuck,” Kai moans, trying to keep his eyes open. He’s not all too interested or aroused in seeing his friend receive head, but it definitely was the hottest thing him, or Warren, had ever done. Something to definitely bring up later with their other friends.

Your eyes swell with tears as Warren continues to hit the back of your throat. Kai begins thrusting his hips, digging at your sensitive walls right at the spot that swells to his tip. The tears almost fall from the pleasure alone.

“Holy shit, your mouth feels amazing,” Warren groans, resting his head back on the sofa as you pick up pace around him. You use your hand and mouth in sync, your tongue running along the side of his shaft with every repetition of your movements.

“This weed is some good shit, I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer,” Kai is whining behind you, clawing in desperation at your ass cheeks, reaching your cervix with every ravaging thrust.

You never imagined how good it would feel to be used like this. Having two of your holes filled to the brim. You definitely weren’t going to see sex with one other person as as satisfying ever again.

“Oh fuck, Y/N, I’m cumming,” Warren gasps breaths of air as you remove your mouth from him, using your hand to finish him off with your tongue placed strategically at his tip. Kai isn’t far behind, and it takes everything in you to remain focused on Warren’s release. Warren’s hips lift off the couch as he cums, painting your tongue white with his load. You swallow it with ease, giggling as Warren rests back with his eyes closed.

“Fuckfuckfuck, I’m gonna cum too,” Kai calls out behind you, “fuck your pussy feels so good.”

You hold onto Warren as Kai releases, taking himself out of you to cum all over your ass. He takes a deep breath as he pulls up his pants.

“Shit, let me get you something to clean that up,” Warren pushes up off the couch, leaving you on all fours, to pick out a fresh hand towel.

“Kai, clean it up, dickhead,” Warren calls out to his friend, passing him the towel. Kai cleans you off, leaving you able to dress yourself again. The basement reeks of sex, and your heart drops at the thought of your best friend walking in just this second.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Warren begins rolling yet another joint, “she’s not gonna be back, trust me.”

“That was probably the best sex of my life,” Kai comes back down the basement stairs, holding a bowl of popcorn and a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. You didn’t even notice he disappeared.

You only laugh and shake your head in response, checking your phone awkwardly for the time.

“I’ve been here two hours? Shit, my parents wanted me home for dinner tonight,” you get up suddenly, making sure your clothes don’t look too crumpled, and presentable enough to go home in.

“I’ll walk you,” both Kai and Warren say at the same time, and the room goes silent. Were they making you choose?

“How about, you both walk me home. Sound good?” You smirk at the two guys who were obviously at your mercy after the sex you’d just shared. Part of you resonated with that, like you didn’t want to leave them.

“Heyy Y/N,” Kai asked curiously, as Warren held your hand loosely along the side walk. The sun had long set now, and the street lamps were on. Stopping outside your house, you turn to Kai.

“Hm?” You ask, as Warren remains by your side.

“You wanna come back tomorrow?” Warren shoves Kai, sending him tumbling back. The two of them were like man-children. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe.. if you’re lucky,” you lean over and plant a soft kiss to Kai’s lips, before pressing a kiss to Warren’s.

The two of them watch you from the end of your driveway as you approach the front door, and with a final wave, they’re both out of sight. Now to eat dinner with your parents after having a threesome.

TAGLIST: @evanpetersfanblog @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @humdrumexistence @simp4petermaximoff @evan4ever @paujmr @jangsuzchap @meganxfox @divineruler @spill-the-t @hihidora @luttic

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wolfes · 10 months

Text

NEW EDITOR 101: A GUIDE FOR GIFMAKERS by v @shangs

Hi friends! I know I said I would do this way back in April/May when this change was announced but I've been massively busy lately so thank you all for being patient with me :)

Based on the results of this poll, I will be trying my level best to help make a guide for gifmakers to best deal with any problems that have been present with the new editor. However, it's worth noting that I have personally not experienced any of these problems myself and I have no record of any problems from other people that I could send to staff and get guidance on, so for some of these issues I will unfortunately be a broken record.

That being said, I have been using the new editor for a few months now and it hasn't been too bad. So don't be discouraged by the new editor if you still love to make gifs and share them. You may need to adapt a bit, but it's doable!

This is meant to be comprehensive and will be explanation and image heavy. Full guide under the cut.

CONTENTS:

What is the new editor?

Steps to take before posting

Making a post

Troubleshooting

01. WHAT IS THE NEW EDITOR?

Some of you may be asking yourselves what the point of the new editor even is and why it's being implemented in the first place when we already had a (mostly) functional editor. My very limited understanding of it as a CS student is app compatibility and flexibility. I'm not totally clear on the details nor am I 100% certain this is the case, but NPF posts (basically, posts made with the "new editor") first started with the mobile app. I'm unsure if the different post types were simply too unwieldy to transfer to the app - having to make a whole bunch of post types when with the new editor you can now have posts with any elements you want without the rigidity of a set post type - or if it was simply not able to be implemented, but the apps have always used NPF. The majority of Tumblr users are coming from the mobile apps. Then it became a case of having the legacy editor for the web users (which were fewer in number) and the new NPF editor for everyone else. That takes resources to keep around and it's pretty inefficient. Naturally the older editor that was used by less people was going to get the axe, especially since you couldn't tell on mobile that there was even a difference between NPF or legacy posts.

So now here we are and the posts are NPF. This means they're in "Neue Post Format." Basically, every post you make is by default a text post, containing "blocks" of other media - as gifmakers we will primarily be dealing with photos.

I understand that it's frustrating to many to see "our gifs are now rendered as text posts" and ask WHY it's happening when photos should logically be rendered as photo posts - but the fact is, there's now no real delineation between a "text post" and a "photo post." The reason NPF posts are now "text posts" is because that's how they are rendered for desktop themes, not because everyone is going to see your post as text and your gifs are going to be compressed into the quality of a potato (though I know some have seen this issue - more on that later.)

02. STEPS TO TAKE BEFORE POSTING

The long and short of it is that you may have to update your theme. More detail here for those who are interested, but check that your theme supports "new editor posts" or "NPF posts" AND that this is true for original posts (you can read more about why in this ask and, although this may be a bit time-consuming, test it out on your blog). I can say with certainty that my second theme Cygnus supports original NPF posts. This is NOT true of my first theme, though.

You can try to add the NPF Fix by @glenthemes to your own theme (beware if you don't know HTML/CSS) or try this tip by @burningblake for original posts.

Feel free to add theme makers with fully NPF-compatible themes in the notes! I have been happily using my own theme so I can't say to what degree others' themes are NPF-friendly.

03. MAKING A POST

If you're sticking around to post on the new editor and you have trouble ordering your gifs around, here's a little guide on how to post.

If I click on "Photo" from web and open up the editor, here's how it looks:

I went ahead and added three full-width gifs and the editor put them in like so:

You'll most likely also have to order your gifs around in the way you want them. You can go ahead and hover over your gifs to see the button to orient them (the four dots in the top left corner) and the button for an image description (the three dots in the bottom right corner). I've attached images of all three below:

If you hold the orientation button, move your gif around until you see the blue line that shows where your gif will end up in the spot that you want it. For example, I wanted to move the second gif below the first one, so I oriented it so that the blue line would show the marker between the two gifs:

Now my gifs are oriented nicely! Of course, this is a simpler layout, but the principles still hold.

If you save your gifs as a draft and reopen them or you just notice a large gap like this in between your gifs when you're in the editor, don't worry.

This will not show up in dash view or on a desktop theme that supports original NPF posts. For example, this is how the gifs' gap (without modification) looked in my desktop theme:

With your gifs ordered, the final step is to add alt text. You can read more about alt text and why you should use it here. (Feel free to ignore the sections about the captions on the legacy editor since it is no longer relevant. It's also unnecessary to clearly mark descriptions if they're not in the caption of your post because they will clearly show up under "ALT" on Tumblr.)

If you click the three dots in the bottom right corner as seen above, and click "update image description:"

You can add the description you like and click "update." Your photos' alt text will show up under the "ALT" bubble on Tumblr. This is generally a good practice to get into to make your content more accessible, so I hope you guys will consider using alt text regularly :)

Also, I've noticed that in the editor, if you go back and edit something it will take some time to show up. You may have to refresh the page or load it again after some time, but your edits should be there. I would not go back and edit posts again if you see your posts haven't shown up. I also advise against editing your posts on mobile because it's easier to make a mistake.

And there you go, you've successfully made a post with the new editor!

04. TROUBLESHOOTING

I'm sure you've all been waiting for this. Unfortunately I am probably going to be extremely unhelpful if the editor hasn't been refined in the last few months for those experiencing issues. I'm going to go in the categories that I listed out in my original poll, but keep in mind that I haven't personally seen any of these issues on my end so I haven't been able to contact staff with any evidence that this happened other than my poll.

Dashboard view quality issues: I haven't noticed this issue. I'm not sure if this has been fixed since the original poll was posted. If you're experiencing this issue, this is not something I know how to fix so I would contact staff with screenshots of the issue.

Desktop theme side padding: As noted before, this is a theme issue. If you change themes to something that is NPF-compatible with original posts, there shouldn't be any more issues here.

Small gifs on mobile: In my experience this was happening regardless of what editor was used; it's a bug that seems to have been fixed since this poll was created. If you're still experiencing it, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I would advise contacting staff.

New editor doesn't accept gifs of size 9.8MB < x < 10MB: I haven't experienced this issue so I would say the only workaround would be to either trim the size of your gif so that it is under 9.8MB or whatever threshold seems to be the cutoff or contact staff (I am so sorry for constantly having to suggest this 😭 unfortunately there's no trick I can offer because the new editor has been taking all my gifs just fine)

Logistical issues ordering gifsets: I hope this guide has been able to answer the majority of questions and shed some light on some of the more buggy behaviors of the new editor, but if you have any more specific questions you can feel free to shoot me an ask!

HTML issues / colored text: Unfortunately it seems colored text may be deprecated entirely? This could be for accessibility purposes because I believe screen readers would read out every single letter of gradient text in captions which I imagine can get quite frustrating for users of this technology. I recommend just using the normal rich text editor. If you want small text, you can highlight and click the <s> button!

Other: If it seems like something I may be able to answer, please feel free to ask me. Otherwise... hound staff 😭

Here's where you can hound staff, btw. If you're having major issues I would advise you guys to submit support tickets. That way if there are any widespread bugs, staff will hopefully be able to fix them.

I hope this guide was helpful to you guys in dealing with the new editor, and happy giffing <3

#gif tutorial #new editor tutorial #completeresources #userphotoshop #resourcemarket #userrobin #userbells #arthurpendragonns #ughmerlin #userbecca #usersameera #usermarsy #alielook #tuserlucie #tutorial

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angelinpiink · 1 year

Text

❥ note: wrote this at 3am,, just needed to get my dirty thoughts out of my head and onto tumblr.

❥ warning: this writing contains mature content and themes such as dry humping, scissoring, perv mikasa, and dirty talk.

personal trainer!mikasa who pushes you to your limit during workouts just to watch your thighs tremble. she loves seeing you sweaty and flustered to get an image of what you’d look like when she finally has her way with you. she wants you so bad she doesn't know what to do with herself. her interest in you hadn't faltered once since you first started attending the gym and you can bet she’s been scheming on how to get you alone. at times when she’s tough on you believe its simply because she wants you to achieve your fitness goals but really she’s only frustrated that she can't bury her face deep between those pretty thighs of yours. and because she wants to see you as often as possible she recommends that you come to the gym far more often than you actually need to. during workouts she has a habit of being touchy and as sly as she is, she simply plays it off as correcting your form. her hands-on approach convinces you to purchase more sessions with her. being trained by mikasa several times in a week surely had its benefits, your body became more toned, the most noticeable change being your ass becoming more firm and oh so grab-able. There was nothing she wanted more than to get her hands on you outside of just a few mere seconds of contact. Who better to explore your body than the very person who helps craft it?

After your workouts she watches you make your way to the showers, waiting a few minutes before following you to get a peek of you without those annoying clothes being in the way. When she goes home, she’ll fuck herself to the images of you she’s burned in her mind. The second the shower stops, she’ll swiftly make her way over to the connected locker room and pretend she was only getting a drink of water from her bag. She’s so slick, you’d never even suspect a thing.

Mikasa offers you complementary yoga services on your rest days. You view it as her being sweet, causing you to grow more fond of her. when in reality she actually despises yoga, but because she gets a gets a room with you all to herself, she endures it. Did i mention that she’d do anything for you? It’s more difficult for her to keep her attraction hidden whenever you too are alone. She finds herself praising you, her fingers coming in contact with your skin anytime she gets the urge to do so. “Good girl.” she’ll say when attempting to teach you a new pose. You will often question if you are hearing her right because her expression remains impassive, and unchanging. Trying your best to hide the effect that has on you, you switch into the next position. At the end of each session she tend to make some sort of innuendo that you have to force yourself to not interpret as dirty. “Enjoy being stretched?” With cheeks of red you give her a nod, telling her you’ll see her tomorrow. Waving, you take your exit.

tomorrow rolls and around you show up in a tight gym set, that highlights your curves and is so fitted that the outline of your cunt is visible whenever you bend over, leaving mikasa’s own core hot and throbbing. She tells you that you have tension in your lower half, another lie she tells to get her way, offering for you two to try a new yoga exercise that she claims is a perfect solution. Trusting her expertise, blindly you oblige with her instructions and spread your legs exactly as she tells you.

Your obedience only serving to make her all the more eager to have you. With your cunt now exposed, mikasa takes her rightful place between your legs positioning herself so that her leg is just above your own. Your heat mere inches away from hers and the color leaves your face the second you notice. Her fingers caress your thighs as she gives you the order to move your hips. shes even so kind to reassure you that it you that i may feel a bit funny at first but that means it's working. Wiggling your hips just as ordered, your cunts meeting each other. It was electric so much so you couldnt hold back your gasps, heat pooling in your core when she too began moving her hips. The friction making things all the more unbearable. you found yourself wishing that your leggings weren't in the way. “N-need more please.” You had no shame in begging for it, and mikasa had no shame in being eager to give you just what you asked for.

Ripping into your soaked leggings to expose your pretty cunt, Mikasa looks at you, her eyes heavy and clouded with lust. “You dirty girl..” she says, noticing that you weren't wearing any panties. her finger rubbing away at your swollen clit again and again earning a symphony of needy yelps from you.

She slips out of her shorts and panties, returning to her spot between your thighs. Nibbling at her lip she began moving her hips, her cunt dragging against your own, your clits came into contact, kissing each other sending jolts of pleasure through both of you. Her juices dripping onto your cunt, mixing with your own as you cried out. “F-Faster Please!” You began to sob, the pleasure becoming way too much.

Your legs wrapping around her while she grinds against you. “That’s it baby. Gonna cum for me?” You nodded. “Wanna come for you so bad, please..” You were sobbing, the tension in your stomach becoming unbearable. you came as her movements became sloppy and desperate. she followed suit a string or praises leaving her lips before she connected them with your own, kissing you deeply. Once was not enough to get you out of her system. your training sessions from that point on would surely end in such a manner, being burnt out from something other than an intense workout was something you could get behind.

heres my masterlist!

#mikasasmut #aot smut #mikasaxreader #attack on titan x you #attack on titan x y/n #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan smut #attack on titan x reader #mikasa x y/n #mikasaaot #mikasaxreadersmut #mikasa smut #mikasa x reader #mikasa aot #mikasa snk

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pix3lplays · 2 months

Note

I have an oc to pair with Dr. Ratio and it's simply because they are chaotic together

Imagine a mysterious person within the Guild, hopefully you know if they are a man or a woman because their name is neutral, they do not appear in public

It is known that he has countless doctorates and titles in all kinds of things, they were even selected for the Society of Geniuses but that person rejected the invitation

Veritas Ratio knows about that person and asks for their collaboration on a project, they receive a letter of elegant calligraphy apologizing for not being able to satisfy their request and having to decline

But Ratio is not known for giving up, after many attempts, he reaches his limit of patience

He arrives at the place that is his office, almost no one passes through that hallway and knocks on the door to enter

On the other side, various sounds of objects falling and a person running towards the door are heard, the small viewing slit opens and a computer voice speaks

"Excuse me, are you Dr. Ratio? I'm sorry I can't work on your project if you come for that reason, is the letter with the answer still not in your hands?"

"I came to talk, can you open the door?"

Ratio insists for several minutes, and finally after pressing the door it opens

The person behind it is completely different than expected. He has prominent dark circles under his eyes, a short stature, visible health problems and the entire "office" is a mess with many inventions and books scattered around

She was a rather nervous and shy woman at first glance, beginning to stutter and tremble.

"W-well... W-what do you want to talk about?"

Ratio soon sees that this person, despite being incredibly prestigious, can hopefully hold a conversation and at the slightest hint of aggression she almost begins to cry

It's strange

Ratio says he understands a little of what is happening, trying to soften his words and tones of voice to talk to her

And it doesn't take him long to understand that she doesn't work with him because she sees him as unworthy, but rather that she is afraid of his reputation and doesn't want to bother him

"I-I'm so sorry! I don't want to bother your advances, how could I help you with my annoying personality?"

And Ratio realizes that maybe... He can teach that genius who seems like she could die of fright to live

That way, he tries to get her out of his office every day, he doesn't force her to reveal her identity to the rest, but at least he makes her look decent and not like a disaster

She nervously eventually manages to go to some conferences and not just watch everything from her office, the progress is so slow but satisfying that Ratio applauds himself

Although of course, seeing the acclaimed Veritas Ratio without his mask, cheering a girl who seems like she could die of nerves over an extremely complicated topic... It draws attention

Oh, now the gossip of the entire Guild is to find out who can accomplish such a feat

"It seems that some idiots in the Guild are interested in knowing your identity after seeing me around you."

"Uh!? N-that can't be it! I must hide! Ah, go to the bottom of the mines in the mountains where no human can find me until half a century passes, no one will be able to recognize me!"

"No"

"Okey... Not with that tone of voice"

"…"

"Do not look at me like that! Uhh..."

"(And to think that this is progress)"

Ratio pats the woman on the shoulder, hoping she doesn't turn into a ball in the corner AGAIN

Oh, but... Ratio thinks that, in the end, she is very pretty even if she has a hard time talking to anyone else, it feels like talking as an equal

—📦

(Huohuo without Tail and with a mysterious genius background, but it was social problems instead of something interesting and intriguing)

See that’s the fun thing about Ratio lolol…personally he really does strike me as a…“I’m only interested in my intellectual equals,” kind of man. Like. As long as they’re smart he’ll adjust to most personality types…but honestly imagining him with someone kinda goofy and dumb is cute too lol…

Sigh, Ratio is SO-

But also okay hear me out on this one…Ratio with a reader who seems goofy and silly but then can just randomly say something incredibly profound and thought provoking. He’d have such mixed feelings haha…he’s just waiting to hear something smart. It gets to the point where he realizes that you’re actually intelligent…but nobody else knows, and he FIERCELY defends you if anyone should question your intelligence.

Idk…R a t i o…

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #Dr Ratio #Dr Ratio x reader #hsr Dr Ratio x reader #honkai star rail Dr Ratio x reader

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esamastation · 6 months

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Part thirty-four of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three

Sephiroth feels a little better after an evening of meditation and a full night of sleep. Things look a little better in the light of day, and though the question of what the fuck he'd going to do about the war is still there, it has been put off. In favour of monster hunting!

"You seem… excited?" Angeal comments as they prepare to go.

He is! "Mn," Sephiroth answers, and carefully doesn't bounce with eagerness.

Even if the monsters of Final Fantasy can't hold a candle to the convoluted, messy and lazily put together nature of the monsters in PIDW, they're still interesting! Especially since he isn't sure what they actually are and how they work. Advent Children and Crisis Core really make it so unclear, because, like, everything turned into energy sparkles when it died? And he thinks in the movie one of the Sephiroth copies - weird to think about them now - summoned some monsters with magic? And then there was Zack in Crisis Core. Who turned into sparkles when he died!

Not everything can just disappear into energy, right, you need living things dying and rotting and composting to make up soil and stuff! If plants just disappear when they die, what do people eat, what were all these buildings made from? Plus he distinctly remembers coal being a thing in this setting, there was a whole town that got shafted because of it and everything, so fossil fuels exist, therefore stuff must leave behind physical remains! Except when it doesn't?

So! Is death like instant ascending here? Or like it descending, since all energy returns to the Planet? Sephiroth is pretty sure that Aerith left behind a body, and there were definitely corpses in the original game - but again, in the prequel it was really unclear. Enemies in combat disappeared, but cutscene death left a body. Except when it didn't!

Ah, the limitations of technology.

Still, he's interested in seeing how the creatures would look and feel and compare them to those he knows from PIDW. Final Fantasy VII had some really weird monsters, and he has a bet going with himself about how much they resemble awakened beasts or yaoguai.

Angeal looks at him and then smiles, hoisting the Buster Sword to his back. "Ready to go, then?"

"Ready," Sephiroth agrees.

"We're going to have to talk to the Colonel first, but don't worry - I'll handle the talking," Angeal says. "He's an… old-fashioned soldier."

Sephiroth arches a brow. It sounds like a warning. "Which means…?"

"He doesn't like SOLDIER, he thinks we're stuck up and get our abilities handed to us, we don't deserve our reputation, the usual stuff," Angeal shrugs. "Just ignore it and let me handle it."

"... If you say so."

They head outside together, and Sephiroth takes a moment to look around and try to be an objective observer. This place isn't really anything like the towns back home, in PIDW - the aesthetics are mixed, and though they're more like home than Midgar was, it's as if the place was squeezed through a funhouse mirror. It's just a little off.

And of course, there are no locals anywhere to be seen for a full comparison - just Shinra troops, infantry men and SOLDIERs. Who, the moment they notice him and Angeal, stop to stare and point and whisper.

Has the… incident in Midgar already spread this far, or is this really what it's like being Sephiroth all the time?

Depressing.

"Here," Angeal says and leads him to another house, apparently being used by the Colonel. "Remember, let me do the talking. You just stand there and look imposing, okay?"

Sephiroth snorts. "I think I can manage that."

The Colonel didn't look happy to see them, but then, he doesn't look like a man that's ever really happy. He sizes Sephiroth up and then scoffs. "It's about time. I don't know what kind of discipline you SOLDIER Firsts enjoy in Midgar, but this is a war front, sir, there are rules here."

Does that mean Sephiroth isn't a General then?

"Right, you're right, of course, sir," Angeal says placatingly. "Well, we're here now, and we already have missions lined up, so -"

The Colonel ignores him and comes around his desk and to Sephiroth's face. "You've been in and out of Wutai for most of this war, isn't that correct, SOLDIER?"

Sephiroth blinks at the man, slowly. "I suppose so." Behind the Colonel Angeal looks panicked.

"What was that?" The Colonel asks dangerously, narrowing his eyes. "You suppose so?"

Sephiroth narrows his eyes back.

The Colonel continues. "When talking to an officer of superior rank, you answer yes sir, or no sir. You do not suppose! Now, do you have experience in the war or not, SOLDIER?!"

Oh, someone is feeling very insecure in their boots, aren't they?

Now, Sephiroth could handle this with all the tact and delicacy of Shen Qingqiu… but even Shen Qingqiu wouldn't have swallowed that kind of spiel without biting. The original definitely wouldn't have! And Sephiroth is supposed to be a villain… well.

Sephiroth smiles - the Colonel recoils.

Last night he'd reread everything there was on his phone about Wutai, going through all his missions again, trying to get as much intelligence as he could. Funny, the things the tutorial left out.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth says sweetly. "Who are you?"

The Colonel goes a little red. "Excuse me, SOLDIER?"

"You're barking at me as though at a private, expecting me to go yes sir and no sir," Sephiroth says mockingly. "And yet I have no clue as to who you even are."

Behind the Colonel Angeal gapes and then lifts a pleading look to the ceiling.

The Colonel sputters. "You, you - How dare -"

Ah, you gotta love zero IQ bullies.

"I was given a whole slew of missions and orders," Sephiroth says softly. "All are very vital and high priority. I'm to slay monsters that have killed your men, I'm to hunt down spies you've clearly failed to find, I'm to clear a guard station you haven't been able to get near, I'm to weaken a fortress you cannot even touch, and ten other things besides. All my mission files are very clear. And you know what they all have in common?"

He leans a little closer to the Colonel - right in his purple face. "Not a single one of them mentions you."

Then, before the Colonel can recover, Sephiroth turns on his heel with an imaginary mike drop and saunters out, feeling a whole lot better about everything. The sun is shining, the troopers are scattering at the mere sight of him, and the air is fresh and sweet with natural Qi.

Already this day is looking up.

Angeal, clearly deciding that evasion was the better part of valour, hurries after him. "We're going to pay for that later, you know," he says, sounding defeated.

Of that Sephiroth doesn't have any doubts. What good is a one-time bully? There'd either be a horrifying scene of comeuppance to bring home the realities of war, or a heartfelt discovery and understanding about how they're not so different after all, or whatever else.

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," Sephiroth says cheerfully. "Now. I was promised monsters."

Angeal sighs, glancing back at the house commandeered by the Colonel. "... I guess we better clear out anyway. Alright," he motions. "Right this way to the monsters."

Sephiroth grins at his bitchy tone, and together they head out.

SY can have a petty bully scene, as a treat.

#Fanfiction #ffvii #ff7 #svsss #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #sephiroth #angeal hewley

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aibidil · 1 year

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I think every parent of a neurodivergent kid learns VERY quickly (likely before they know their kid is neurodivergent) that the hardest part of the parenting gig is unlearning our assumptions about what is "acceptable" or "non-negotiable" behavior. If you have a toddler who won't do x, it doesn't matter how much bystanders or your parents say, "Well that's simply not acceptable." It doesn't matter if it's "acceptable" or not—because if you have a kid like that, you know you can't control another human in that way.

So this isn't a new revelation. But recently we've realized that my 10yo has a PDA profile (pathological demand avoidance/pervasive drive for autonomy—if you want to learn about it, look up Harry Thompson on the socials), which means that perceived demands cause him to enter a place of fight/flight response. I can't tell you the number of times he had a rage meltdown, injured me, trashed his room, etc. Because of this, we figured out (trial and error) how to interact with him starting when he was a toddler, so again, nothing earth-shattering with this new diagnosis, just an actual framework to understand him that finally encompasses all his (often confusing) quirks. What's interesting about pda is that the solution is basically to treat the person...like a person. It's a neurotype that INSISTS on being treated as capable and autonomous (what most people would think of as "treated like an adult", as if kids aren't entitled to autonomy).

What's really incredible is how, when this is all understood and supported, it doesn't have to cause him a lot of problems in day-to-day life. He's been supported and taken seriously for years, and now that he has words for it, he's even more comfortable in his skin.

Last week, we were both not in top form one day and I asked him to put his backpack away. (A demand! How dare I?! After he'd had a hard day of demands at school?!) and he literally threw it across the room, said something mean, and stormed off. (At which point I realized belatedly what was going on and dropped the issue completely so he could ctfd.)

Yesterday, in contrast: he had a bad day at school and I listened, then let him go and bury himself in YouTube for awhile. As I was starting to make dinner, he came and asked if he could help because he was hungry. (Note: no demand was made of him!) I said sure and we cooked together. When the food was ready, he said, "Can I eat alone today? I had a hard day."

Now, my upbringing (and my partner's) was one of The Sacred Family Dinner. The family eats together always. Why? Because that's what we do. No one would ever dare question it! This assumption that family dinner is inviolable lives deep in my soul. If I had said this to my parents (and I wouldn't have—it would've been unthinkable), I would've been dismissed out of hand. They would've scoffed and said something about how I had to do what our family does.

But because I'm not new here, I pushed all that away and said, "Alright. Thanks for helping me cook."

And he goes, "No problem. Thanks for understanding."

🥲😊😭🥲

Beautiful things happen when you let go of limiting neurotypical heteropatriarchal culturoinstitutional norms and narratives. Doing that requires leaps of faith. Leap after leap of faith. Scary leaps that challenge all your insecurities. Leaping every time your brain or another person says, "Well how will they ever learn to do x if you—” No. Leap.

It's worth the leaps.

#parenting #the work of parenting is unlearning #neurodivergence #autism #adhd #pathological demand avoidance #pervasive drive for autonomy

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yuurei20 · 7 months

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Concerning the Vil-Epel drama: I'm from a Scandinavian country and even here we have dialects. I haven't heard them myself, but my mom has and she says they are literally impossible to understand and you need a translator to speak with them. And it's not a bad thing- we don't say those people are less than or anything of the sort- it's just like holy cow we cannot understand anything they're saying, how are we supposed to communicate like this (especially when they understand us since our dialect is the 'base' dialect). If anything, it's funny because of how a dialect can make the same language not understandable, and also disappointing/frustrating that we can't talk to them because we literally don't know what they're saying. So to me it seems like part of the reason Vil wants Epel to not speak in his dialect is simply so people can understand him better and so people can actually communicate with him. We've seen in the Harveston event (if I remember correctly) that the others have no clue what Epel says before they jump the gap, and they need to ask his grandma to translate. That's an example of how if he didn't remove his dialect people would not know what he's saying. I don't think it has anything to do with negative connotations towards the dialect (I bet Vil would encourage it if they were in a situation where it would be beneficial/welcoming), but rather Vil trying to teach Epel that it's not about hiding your dialect/culture, it's about being considerate to those around you to have them understand you (like how you pointed out his granny changed to polite speech when talking to the NRC boys). Don't you think even granny would have at some point taught Epel that? (Although not in the same manner or extremity as Vil).

There seems to be some discourse going on of which I was not aware!

Thank you so much for your perspective!! It is very interesting and informative and wonderful to know!

Yes, it does seem strange that maybe no one warned Epel about interacting with people outside the village, but maybe they did!

This gets into conjecture because we have nothing in-game to confirm either way, but it might be possible that they just assumed he would pick it up through personal experience, or he just wasn't able to make the connection between their warnings and what real-world experience would be like.

Marja herself has no problem with adapting to the time/place/occasion, but as Epel is still a child with limited exposure to people from other cultures, we are watching him experience this learning process in real time!

In a way, Epel's experience at NRC could maybe be interpreted as Vil encouraging him to be more like his grandmother :> Epel was likely aware that the older people in the village adapt their speech patterns when necessary, but maybe never made the connection about exactly why?

He knew it was polite, but when early-Epel shows up at NRC, he is already in fighting mode: he has no interest in being polite, which he might have seen as making concessions and, thus, a weakness.

Bullied his whole childhood for his appearance he decides he is going to set the record straight from day one at NRC so that people know not to mess with him, and then Vil comes in.

It seems like it all connects to Epel's arc as he learns that you can be conscientious of time/place/occasion (like his grandmother), but still be proud of your heritage and strong (like his grandmother).

And you can be beautiful (like Vil), but still be strong (like Vil).

(Because Vil is Vil his wording has a lot to do with the importance of beauty, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like Vil is just trying to prepare Epel for life in a society.)

There is an ongoing theme with Epel that we see in Book 5 and Halloween where he gets jealous of people who can do things that he can't, so he doubles down that he is right and they are wrong in order to make himself feel better about his shortcomings.

That might also tie in to his frustration with Vil's restriction of his dialect!

He has more difficulty expressing himself without it, so rather than do what Vil is trying to get him to do and work on it, by Book 5 he is still doubling down and insisting that Vil is the problem, not himself, despite how he was raised watching everyone around him do exactly what it is that Vil is saying he needs to do.

I really appreciate everyone's introspection!! The more you think about it, the more interesting Epel, his family, his relationship with Vil and his circumstances become! :> He is living through his own, personal coming-of-age story before our eyes!

#Epel Felmier #twisted wonderland #anon #Marja Felmier #Vil Schoenheit

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tokyo-tower-symbolism · 2 months

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What does it mean to be a fan in Revue Starlight?

In the Revue Starlight Movie, the climax of the movie has Hikari admit to Karen’s dead stage girl body that the reason she ran away to London was because she was scared of becoming Karen’s fan. And because this sin is so great, she was unable to forgive herself and in an act of repentance she had to leave the one she held dearest. And also running away was easier than dealing with her emotions.

But what does it mean to be a fan, and why is Hikari so offended at the thought of it?

Click here to read this with pictures since apparently tumblr is enforcing the picture limit now. Personally I would read it there since that's how I meant for this to be read, but if you've seen the Revue Starlight Movie as many times as I have, feel free to just read the text on it's own and like picture in your head what I'm talking about. It's basically the same experience

Part 1: Hikari is a hater

In her following monologue, Hikari talks about the time the two of them first watched Starlight, the play that inspired them to stand on stage together as kids.

In episode 4, while catching up, Hikari and Karen both affirm to each other that the reason they stand on stage is because of their promise after Starlight. Although noticeably, Karen brings up the play, Hikari brings up the promise.

But it might get confusing when you first watch the movie and see that Hikari was already an actor even before she met Karen. She was super into theater as a kid and was not shy about it one bit. In fact, the reason she invited Karen to a show in the first place was because that was her thing that no one else around them was doing yet. So it doesn’t kinda make sense for her to have only started acting after watching that show.

But while Starlight was the birth of Karen as a stage girl, it was the death of Hikari. Just like Karen, she loved that performance. It was amazing, and the actors were so dazzling that she couldn’t ever see herself matching it. So she was ready to give up. And if Karen wasn’t there, she probably would have stopped acting entirely after that performance, since there was nothing left for her on stage.

But Karen was there. She asked Hikari to become stars like them someday, and even though Hikari thought she could never match the performance she saw that day, she still had a reason to stand on stage because she promised Karen to be there, and no one else can take that role from her.

And although we only got this new perspective in the movie, a lot of this was actually already in the show, we just didn’t have the context.

In episode 8, we finally see more of Hikari’s past and she has a rather interesting thought process about how to fulfill their promise. She didn’t think she could become a star if she was with Karen. Hikari notes that Karen has an unabashed love for the stage, but says nothing like that about herself. Instead of loving Starlight, her real reason for being on stage is the promise she made to Karen. And so, she can't do what Karen does and love the stage wholeheartedly like that. Following in Karen’s footsteps won’t take her to where she needs to be, since they’re just that different. After all, the performance that made Karen want to become a star was the same one that made Hikari give up.

So instead, she runs away from Karen, planning on becoming a star on her own and only then meeting up with Karen once she’s ready. And of course Hikari has no doubts that Karen will be a star herself by that point.

Hikari runs because she didn’t become a Stage Girl because of Starlight, she became a Stage Girl because Karen asked her to shine on stage together as stars. And at that moment, Karen was so dazzling that Hikari was inspired to dream as well. But the last time Hikari became a fan, she gave up on her dreams.

But Karen was so dazzling that it scared Hikari. If she became a fan of Karen, she might end up giving up on her dream once again. Because Karen is amazing. So amazing, that Hikari might not be able to keep up and might give in. And she couldn’t bear to do that to Karen, to have her Starlight all by herself. And that’s why Hikari runs away. She’s sure that if she goes off to London to train and become the best in the world, when she sees Karen again she won’t get overwhelmed and give up this time.

But then again, Hikari is kinda stubborn and often makes unfounded leaps in logic all the time, so maybe we shouldn’t just take her words at face value.

Part 2: Actually Hikari was right, being a fan sucks

In episode 6, we have another pair of childhood friends who made a promise to each other about standing on stage. Only this time, they explicitly bring up the interaction between a fan and their star.

Kaoruko lays out the give and take relationship, in return for giving her what she wants all the time and pampering her, Futaba will get to be the first to see her shine the brightest in the world. And like they’re kids so it’s obviously not supposed to be that serious, but it kinda is?

Like this is literally the relationship between the top star and the losers in the auditions. The losers give up their brilliance to the top star, and in return the top star can put on the stage of fate and perform a brilliance never seen before.

The Audition steals the brilliance of the losers and leaves nothing behind. And although we never get to see the proper aftermath of an Audition and the relationship between the Top Star and the losers, we can kinda guess what might happen using Mahiru and Karen as the framework.

Mahiru became a fan of Karen during their first year. She was nervous before the 99th Starlight, but Karen’s optimism and support dazzled her in a way she had never experienced before. She gets blinded by Karen’s brilliance and decides to give Karen everything she has, always tending to her needs and supporting her by the start of the show. This is because Mahiru thinks she has nothing and needs to rely on Karen’s glimmer to even try and stand on stage. It’s not sustainable, especially when Hikari comes and Karen finds other priorities. It’s also not good for Karen either, since in their Revue Mahiru urges Karen to go back to how she was before when she always overslept and came in late, if only because that was when Mahiru was the one who got to be the closest one to see her shine the brightest.

So despite Mahiru being a fan, she didn’t want to see a better performance. She was satisfied with what she already saw, and didn’t need any more. But is it really admiration if she couldn’t properly see the star? After all, Karen was proud of her own improvements as an actor after seeing Hikari again and breaking out of her malaise, but Mahiru couldn’t see the change for the better, and only saw the departure from her ideal.

Because to be a fan is to be blinded by the brilliance of the star. The star shines so brightly that the fan can see nothing but the star, and any disruptions are just obstructions from that vision.

We see this taken all the way to the extreme with Nana in the Revue of Hunting, but unlike Karen, Junna changed for the worse, so Nana might actually have a point. Who said that?

Karen went from lazing around and not taking things seriously to practicing non stop and becoming determined to win the auditions. And it’s things like that which help her achieve her dream, she’s dazzling.

Meanwhile Junna decided to take things slow, instead of auditioning for the biggest and best troupe like everyone else, she chooses to take her time studying in college so she can continue learning and one day be among the greats. After all, the reason she worked herself so hard was because she thought she wasn’t there yet, and even though now she knows her limits, she still thinks she isn’t there yet. The root issue wasn’t solved.

And it’s a slight difference from the show, but it’s there, and it’s a big deal to Nana. Nana wanted to see everyone’s next stages. After Hikari joined, she thought everyone’s new selves were so enchanting, she wanted to see more. But the audition was when everyone was giving their all, and that’s not sustainable. Eventually they need to rest, but that’s not as compelling.

Nana tells Junna that she used to be dazzling, and now she’s not. And this hurts Junna. Like Junna cries and I don’t think we’ve ever seen her get like that before. Because it’s Nana, and she’s the closest person Junna has. Like Nana was the one Junna didn’t have to be strong in front of after collapsing in Episode 2. So it hurts for Nana of all people to say that.

But Nana was Junna’s fan. She gave Junna so much over the years, from the food to stopping the time loops, and I guess she became disillusioned when Junna didn’t fulfill her side of that deal, to shine the brightest in the world.

It’s a tragedy how the fan-star dynamic managed to get in the way of their relationship.

Nana felt betrayed by Junna not living up to her ideal, and that hurt too.

But during that revue Junna is reborn and is more motivated than ever to continue acting. But despite this growth, Nana doesn’t believe in this new change. Just like Mahiru before, Nana doesn’t care if this change is for the better, she’s still thinking of that one specific snapshot of Junna, and this just isn’t the same.

But Junna calls out Nana for not properly looking at her. She’s blinded by Junna’s past dazzling light, so she can’t appreciate this new Junna. Because yeah Junna did foolishly, incessantly reach out to become the lead, and that was admirable, but the new Junna who claims the lead herself was just as much a part of her even back then. But Nana didn’t see that before because as a fan, she latched onto what she liked, but there is more to Junna than that.

And speaking of people who latch onto what they like and end up missing the bigger picture, let’s take a look at Claudine at the end of episode 10. For all her talk about how she was going to be the one to beat Maya, she refuses to accept that Maya lost. Because despite everything she says, Claudine actually likes that Maya can beat her. In episode 10, she admits that Maya humbled her in those auditions and is thankful that she managed to grow out of her old haughty attitude created from her prior success.

But now Maya losing is unthinkable to her, she cannot see a way that could possibly happen. Instead she blames herself for their loss, throwing away her own pride with that button if it could even give Maya a chance of advancing in the audition. Because Claudine is Maya’s fan. Claudine has been a fan of Maya ever since she lost to her, and will not accept anyone else being her star. She admires her as an actor and sees all the effort that Maya puts into being the best. She envies her position and skills, but doesn’t think that she herself is quite there yet. She thinks there’s some quality Maya has that keeps Maya from losing and Claudine just doesn’t have it, so she just keeps trying, studying Maya and training after hours, just like Maya.

And this assumption blinds her to any other possibilities on how Maya could lose. Neither Karen nor Hikari would have beat Maya on their own, but it was how they Starlighted together that beat Maya and Claudine. And Claudine would have never thought of that as Maya’s fan. She thought she wasn’t a match for Maya, and so her defeat was guaranteed from the start.

And it’s not just Claudine. Everyone is in awe of Maya’s talent. This is just how things work at Seisho. In the first episode, Karen and everyone else in the class don’t even think they even have a chance at becoming the leads this year as long as Maya and Claudine are here.

And it’s kinda interesting that Claudine is also that star for so many of them, right? Like Claudine never thought she could win, but for everyone else they were neck and neck. And sure part of it might just be the gulf in skill between the two and everyone else, but part of it is that Claudine can’t see herself objectively, like how everyone agrees she’s on par with Maya, because she doesn’t believe she can win.

And the rest of them don’t even think they could beat her.

But it’s one thing when it’s just one play you give up on. It’s another thing when it becomes such a habit that the stage girl gives up on her future just like all those other lead roles.

At the start of their third year, Junna gives up on auditioning for New National before even applying because she knows she is not a match for actors like Maya and Claudine who are a shoo in.

But like, that’s not true! Claudine even says that Junna could be just as good as Maya, she just needs to let herself. And it’s not just empty words, Claudine said the same of Futaba who also managed to get in. And Futaba herself specifically names Junna as a stage girl she admires who has something she doesn’t.

And alongside that, this is also really out of character from what we’ve seen of her in the show. Like when she had to sit in the audience for the finals, she literally studies them to beat them in the future. She refused to give up even when she lost! But because of this, Junna knows better than anyone how amazing the two of them are. And she tried so hard, time and time again, and nothing came of it. It’s not hard to see how she might have lost her way when the pressure closed in on her. But Junna still has plenty of fight left in her, this isn’t it for her. She’s going to continue to study so she can one day beat them.

But I gotta say, this isn’t like what we’ve seen before of Junna. If anything, this is Hikari behavior!

Think about it, Junna says that she won’t be able to match them, just like what Hikari thought about that performance of Starlight. But Junna still plans on continuing to study until she can one day become the lead. That was literally Hikari’s plan and why she studied at RATA so she would some day come back as a star to stand across from Karen.

And this is clearly not the right attitude since this conversation was what directly led to Nana starting the Revue of Annihilation, where she called everyone else out on not being ready for the next stage. Also it didn’t really work for Hikari either the first time.

Back in the Revue of Hunting, Nana lays out what exactly happened to Junna that kept her from finding the stage where she could be the dazzling star at Seisho. Because she kept studying Maya, Claudine, Karen, and all those famous authors, she saw how great they were and lost sight of how great she is. Instead of aiming for them, she tried to avoid the brilliance of the star, but that isn’t enough if she ever wants to fulfill her dream, just like how it isn’t enough for Hikari.

Because Junna said it herself in episode 1. The result hasn’t been decided yet, so Junna preemptively bowing out is just doing herself a disservice. She is essentially giving up her brilliance so she can watch someone else be the top star and shine in her place.

After all, this is all just the story of Claire and Flora. In order to get Claire's memories back, the two of them climb the tower, but right before they pluck the stars and achieve their wishes, Flora is blinded and separated from Claire and the rest of the goddess, losing everything.

That is the fate of fans and their stars.

Part 3: Okay being a fan isn’t the worst thing in the world actually

I’ve been kinda harsh on fans in this essay so far. And while it is deserved, it would be misleading for me not to mention that Flora climbs that tower after she falls and joins Claire and the Goddesses again.

Cause keep in mind, all the characters genuinely admire each other. They think all their friends are amazing actors and are constantly hyping each other up.

Maya and Claudine acknowledge each other as rivals and as the only one skilled enough to keep up. Junna admires the two of them and is constantly learning to one day beat them. Karen and Hikari both think Mahiru is dazzling, even if she doesn’t see it yet. Kaoruko and Futaba know beyond a shadow of a doubt the other is gonna be a star. And don’t even get me started on how much Nana loved the 99th production of Starlight.

And that’s not to mention that it was because Karen was a fan of that first production of Starlight that it inspired her to stand on stage. Being a fan is not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it keeps characters going. Claudine even says as much considering that she stagnated in her growth when she stopped chasing after Maya between their second and third years. Futaba found her own dream to become a star while following Kaoruko. It was the quotes that Junna admired that led to her creating her own words for comforting Nana in episode 9. And Nana kept winning those auditions because she wanted to see her admired 99th Starlight, again and again.

Earlier I mentioned how Junna gave up before she even started when it came to New National. There is actually another character in the same position as her, but unlike Junna, she has the same attitude towards New National from the start to the finish.

Futaba is a fan. She came to Seisho to follow Kaoruko, not because of her own ambitions, but she found them there. She wanted to become a star like Kaoruko and everyone else. Even if she’s not ready yet, she still wants to aim as high as she can and not just settle. And she learned that from everyone else. I’ve been harping on about how being a fan closes the door on opportunities by giving up before even trying, but that doesn’t have to be true. If anything, being a fan can open possibilities that the person would have never realized on their own.

Hikari has been running away from Karen for over 12 years, that’s most of her life. But it only takes 1 revue with Mahiru for her to change her tune, because Mahiru is the only one who could understand her fear.

That whole thing about being afraid of becoming Karen’s fan? That already happened to Mahiru. Compared to Karen, Mahiru thought she didn’t have any brilliance, but that isn’t true. The people closest to her, like Karen or her Grandma, never thought that for a second. They saw the best in her and pushed her to aim higher. The inadequacy was all in Mahiru’s head, and it kept her from realizing her full potential. But little by little, with encouragement from everyone around her, Mahiru got past that. She was able to find her own warm and compassionate shine.

After all, even after their revue, Mahiru continued to take care of Karen, but also started to take care of herself. She kicked Karen out of their room because she knew Karen would make cleaning their room harder, when before she would have been so anxious if Karen ever left her side. Mahiru no longer flinched whenever Karen got close to another girl (for instance Hikari, but also take a look at how Mahiru acts around Junna in the first two episodes), and instead could be happy for her that she fulfilled her dream with Hikari. Mahiru herself managed to find and achieve her dream of joining New National. She never could have done that before when she was blinded by Karen’s brilliance.

But it was Karen’s brilliance that soothed her nerves during that first Starlight. It was Karen who convinced Mahiru that she has her own shine in their revue. And it was Karen who introduced Mahiru to Hikari, someone she also wanted to perform with.

And Hikari sees that. Mahiru was Karen’s fan, but now she’s a real stage actress, not just a stage girl. Hikari can become one too, but only if she stops running away from being Karen’s fan and accepts it.

After all, Karen’s dazzling, but she’s not all that different from Hikari. By refusing to actually look at Karen, Hikari is just cutting off her own options to become more like Karen.

Like, throughout the series Hikari grows by being like Karen. She didn’t plan on fulfilling their promise to become stars together in the auditions, that only happened because Karen inspired her. And so, Hikari’s weapon would have never transformed and they would have never been able to beat Maya and Claudine if Hikari kept running away from Karen. Or how both of their deepest desires were to do Starlight together, and it was only because Karen was so persistent and inspiring that Hikari finally admitted it so they could perform together.

Because Hikari has so much she can learn from Karen, just like how Karen learns so much from Hikari.

Hikari was the first one to introduce Karen to the stage. Karen can only focus at Seisho because Hikari is there. Karen only learns the true ending of Claire because she tries to understand Hikari by reading the original English version of the Starlight Gatherer.

Because in the end, Revue Starlight wants the stage girls to be fans. Stage Girls need to love what they’re doing and dream big. But they just can’t stay as fans.

At the climax of the movie, Karen admires Hikari. Her feelings about Hikari are a mess, absolutely all over the place, but Hikari is the reason they exist. Karen can’t look away from her. And although that admiration gives her the epiphany of why she stands on stage, her admiration isn’t why she wants to stand on stage. Instead, it’s because she doesn’t want to lose to Hikari.

Because admiration comes with fear of the unknown.

In the movie, we see so much fear. Fear of where the unknown future will take them. Fear of disappointing someone else or even themself. Fear of losing something precious along the way. Fear of Mahiru.

Karen was scared to hear about Hikari in London because there was a chance Hikari forgot about their promise. Fear kept Hikari away for over a decade because Hikari was scared she would lose herself in Karen. Mahiru was scared of what would happen to her if Karen is taken away from her. Nana was scared she would lose her friends as time passed. Junna was scared to aim too high when picking colleges because she wasn’t sure if she was ready. Futaba didn’t tell Kaoruko about her future plans because she was scared of her potential reaction, and she was also scared she wasn’t good enough as an actor. Kaoruko was about to preemptively cut ties with Futaba because she was scared they would drift apart in the future. Claudine was scared she was missing something that Maya had, and if that meant she would never be good enough. Maya was scared that her true emotion drenched appearance was ugly and was willing to throw everything about herself away to become the perfect lead. Amemiya was too scared to face everyone after being unable to finish her script. And Masai was scared that their final performance might pale in comparison to last year’s.

It’s the unknown that scares them.

But the thing is, we don’t understand the things we admire, that’s why we are drawn to them, because someone else did something and we don’t know how. And there are two types of reactions to that, the feeling that you could never do that, and or the feeling that you want to try and do that too.

In Revue Starlight, stage girls cannot be content with just being a fan in the audience, they must become a rival, because they want to perform like that too, no even better than that!

Karen doesn’t want to lose to Hikari, so she needs to find a new stage to put on a performance to challenge her. She can’t just give up because she doesn't know how to start. Even if she doesn’t have her future planned out, that feeling is the start of what’s needed.

And you know what, the Revue Starlight Movie is absolutely the product of this idea, because the people who made Revue Starlight are fans themselves, they love films and performances, but they weren’t just satisfied with that. They wanted to make something that wouldn’t lose to anything they saw before.

Part 4: Revue Starlight is about performances and is a performance so let’s get metatextual

Revue Starlight wears its influences on its sleeves, from the Takarazuka to Utena, and it’s proud of it. (Or so I’ve heard. I haven’t actually seen either of them yet but I swear I’m gonna get to watching them eventually). But the movie goes even farther with the revues referencing genres like Yakuza films or events like the Olympics, and even specific scenes and vibes from films such as Mishima, King Louis XIV Le Roi Danse, and Mad Max: Fury Road. Revue Starlight doesn’t worry about never being as good as those movies, instead it uses them to tell its own story.

(If you would like to read about more of the references of the movie and how they are used you should definitely read the Borrowed Brilliance essay. It actually goes into a lot of the things I wrote in this essay, I just only remembered it existed after writing most of this so whoops. But it is still really good and I think more people should read it.)

During the kick off party, Masai admits she’s scared if their next production won’t be as amazing as their last one. But still, she wants to make it. She refuses to get caught up in her admiration of something that already existed. Instead she wants to do what she can now, to use that inspiration and make a production that someday rivals that stage. Because only you can make what you create.

Even if someone else could do it better, even if you can’t do it as well as you hoped, you are the one making it, and like it or not, that’s going to include everything, from your own experiences to your own struggles. You’ll have to make compromises and won’t get everything exactly the way you want it. You won't be able to properly explain what’s in your head to your collaborators and ideas will get lost. You’ll look back in a year and think of everything you did wrong and how you would’ve done it better now.

But you made it. And it’s out there. And someone out there will see it and they won’t know any of the struggles you faced while making it. They’ll just see the finished product. And they’ll have thoughts about it. And they might not even know the original works that inspired you to create either, that you are trying to rival.

And your work is going to be out there.

When you compare your work to the others, you can’t think you’ll never be able to match them. That’s not gonna get you anywhere. Instead you need to want to rival those works someday. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put out something you can be proud of.

And that is what Revue Starlight wants out of fans.

#revue starlight #analyzing starlight #hikari kagura #karen aijou

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