#and directly puts the blame on mentally ill people
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you have any fucking word in the dictionary to describe your abuse. please stop using the one that describes a personality disorder
#and directly puts the blame on mentally ill people#npd vent#npd positivity#npd things#npd culture is#actually npd#narcissistic abuse#malignant narcissism#narcisst#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissism#narc abuse#actually narcissistic#npd#narcissist#npd safe
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Ley Lines Map for All the Gansey-core Girlies
Have you ever wished there was an interactive map that not only graphs the ley lines described in TRC, but also has layers full of possible spiritual points, arranged in loose categories and sloppily curated by sheer force of mental illness?? Okay baby here you go:
FAQ under the cut 😘
Was this necessary?
Genuinely it was not. My investigations uncovered that Maggie Stiefvater does not really care about geography, nor does she remain consistent about the ley lines, so I can't even really say that it's book-accurate.
Example 1 - There are multiple understandings of ley lines. Some are circles, patterns, connect the dots, etc. but TRC goes with the definition of "perfectly straight" lines "that crisscross the globe" (The Raven Boys Chapter 2, Chapter 15). One of the big three lines connects Boston to St. Louis (The Raven Boys Chapter 22). And the main line also passes through Boston (see example #2)! But half of all the Pynch drama in Call Down the Hawk specifically blames Boston/Harvard for not being on the ley line. Hello?? It's on TWO of them!
Example 2 - Maggie makes it clear that the connection between D.C. and New York, which also connects to the UK and Pilot Mountain, is the main line that Glendower's squad traveled on (The Raven Boys Chapter 7, Chapter 22). The weird part is how after defining this line, all of Adam's ley line adventures place it directly along the Shenandoah National Park/Blue Ridge Mountains (Blue Lily, Lily Blue Chapter 2 + many other quotes I don't feel like looking up). There's no way to connect the DC-Pilot Mt line to Shenandoah, but I can totally see how Maggie Stiefvater would think it connects when looking at a flat map.
So yeah. It doesn't really matter, but thanks to my research we can CONFIRM that it doesn't really matter. You're welcome.
So why did you make this?
For fun...it wasn't exactly worth it. But by sharing it with y'all, hopefully no one else will make the same mistake.
What about line #3?
The third line never has specific connection points in the books so I basically made it up :) but I narrowed it down to 2 candidates, with my chosen line based on Ronan's mention of the "Pando thing" in Greywaren's epilogue.
How did you decide on/find points?
Honestly it was a lot of vibes. You can read in the description of the map how I started from certain resources, like all the stuff in the books, and other people's Google maps. My big discovery was realizing that UNESCO World Heritage Sites covered a lot of territory between history and nature, but before that I was literally googling things like "strange places Kentucky" and pouring through articles. If a place seemed weird and magical, I added it.
Yes this took forever. Easily 3x as long as the 300 Fox Way floorplan, if not longer.
Is this map complete?
I had other ideas for things I should add to it but I got tired, so nah.
You've put down everything from urban legends to alien sightings, but why don't I see many hauntings on the map?
Blatant author bias; I firmly don't believe in famously haunted houses! The vast majority of "haunted" places operate as tourist attractions, so if I took them at their word I'd have to also log Disney World for being the most magical place on earth, wouldn't I? Also Re: I got tired.
Can I copy this map / add to it / use it for reference?
Please please please please
I found a typo
I bet you did! I'm not even proof reading this post bestie.
#now you can plan your trips to a local ley line just in time for st mark's eve 🙏#trc#the raven cycle#trc unraveled
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Please share all of your Sirius and Bellatrix thoughts ♥️
I have way too many, darling.
The TLDR is it is our choices that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities. The long version is under the cut.
When reading about them I usually prefer stories where their original 8-9 year gap is preserved (it annoys me to no end when people write the Order and the Death Eaters as entirely made up of people in the same couple of years in Hogwarts —really? Was the conflict exclusively waged by child soldiers? Were Dumbledore and Voldemort just chilling before 1977, when they decided to start recruiting?). With that being said, I can also enjoy fics where - for shipping purposes - their ages are more compatible, to make them share time in Hogwarts or during the First Wizarding War.
I think they are very, very alike personality-wise. The narrative draws some delicious writing parallels between them, both physically and in their expressions, vices and virtues, and choices. Directly between them, might I add. The author underlines the difference between Bella and Narcissa more than once, we're meant to see it, and similarly we're meant to see the similarities between Bella & Sirius.
They are haughty, passionate, powerful, competent, arrogant, bright, much more intelligent than the fandom thinks they are. In general, they suffer from the stigmatization that many characters - but some people in real life do too - that someone who is intense and impulsive cannot possibly be as intelligent as people who are meek, soft-spoken, generally more controlled. Think what the fandom does to Sirius vs Remus and Bella vs her sisters, when every arrow points to the fact that they are actually the cleverest in these pairings.
They are both some shade of mentally ill, and not because of the curse of the Blacks - half the Blacks went mad didn't they? What's the saying? Every time a Black is born the gods flip a coin. god the Targaryen-Black parallels are gold -
Sirius is very likely horribly depressed in OOTP, something no one around him seems to understand, infuriatingly. The only one that seems to get it is Harry, who has the literal Dark Lord living in his brain (= bigger problems to deal with).
Bella is... I don't know what she is, ask me after my psychiatry module next year, but my money is on PTSD after Azkaban - after all, she didn't have the escape of an Animagus form behind bars. She would also very likely be victim-blamed for these different feelings, which would lend itself to a delicious nobody else in the world understands us but us type of post-Azkaban dark!fic which I would love to read.
They are both skilled at magic, and while they might despise each other for their respective political views, they respect each other because of this. Bella is probably above him in terms of magical power and skill, because she's 9 years older and because of Voldemort's training, but Sirius seemed to be keeping up quite well with her during their fight in the DoM.
Speaking of which, I am sure that Bellatrix's scream of triumph was due to her winning their duel, not because she thought she had killed him and that is probably the single thing I love the most about HBC's interpretation of her in the movies. That look. 10/10.
I am of the opinion that Bella is all bark and no bite when it comes to certain members of her family, especially her sisters. Sure, she might say that she wants to prune her family tree but 30 years later in the beginning of DH, she still calls Andromeda sister. I'm sure she would want nothing more than to put him under lock and key for the rest of his life and never let him escape, not kill him. And, to me, the way Sirius speaks of his family is very interesting. I'm sure he firmly believes that he hates them, but his actual feelings are more complex than that. You can hate someone and still desire their love, their respect. You can hate that they are the only people in the world who understand you - and hate yourself more in turn, for it.
Sirius seems to me like someone haunted by his own darkness. He, much like Harry, would be constantly worried that he's becoming like them. I'm sure it's a weak spot for him and I wish we had heard more bickering, or at least a full interaction between Bella and Sirius (I feel like she would claim him as hers, underline how much he cannot escape his own blood, even just to mock him/unsettle him in battle). But what Dumbledore says to Harry is true: it doesn't matter how alike they are, it's their choices that matter much more. And I feel like this is why the two of them would never reconcile in canon. They stand for different things.
I also think there might be some - and I know Freud is controversial nowadays, but bear with me - penis envy, on her part. Because Sirius was born the heir - something she would have given her left hand to be: to be born and die a Black instead of being expected to marry into another family - and he squandered it all away by consorting with werewolves and mudbloods. But no. He got everything and pissed on it, and it's just not fair. And by choosing not to come back, even in the two years after Regulus' death, he made sure that the Black Family name will die with him- and I think that is just something she can never ever forgive him.
Now. Everybody knows I don't like TCC and my preferred view of Bella is someone with fertility issues, even to the point of being sterile.
[I read an amazing fanfic once and a line from it stuck in my brain - "If I can't be life, then I'll be death"]
But. If we do see it as canon. This is also the reason why - despite being overjoyed at Delphi's birth - I am convinced that she wished for a boy when she was pregnant. If she had a boy with the Dark Lord, who couldn't possibly give them his name, the House of Black would have an heir. This is also the reason why I don't thing she was necessarily opposed to having children with Rodolphus - the "spare" would have been her heir.
Bellatrix would say that Regulus was her favourite cousin, but truth be told, it was really Sirius whom she respected more - at her core, in my opinion, Bellatrix is really only someone who respects power. Sirius is like her that way.
But Bellatrix is clearly a cruel person, which Sirius is not (or at least, he tries not to be: Kreacher and Snape are two very particular cases of people who are mean to him back). Also, Sirius' view of the world is much more egalitarian - If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Bellatrix is clearly someone who sees the world in terms of hierarchies, and lives within them (see: how she acts around Voldemort and what is implied of her treatment of house-elves who obey their masters: there is a scale and some serve others, and as long as they do so well they have certain rights; disobey, you get punished).
(Bellatrix is somewhat a feminist character but let's be real- she's not a revolutionary. She went to the Dark Lord and showed him just how powerful she was - aka my wand is bigger than all these male DEs' - and he said "okay, fair, I'll give you the Mark", thereby freeing herself. She is not a "equal representation for women inside terrorist organizations!!" type of girlie)
I also love how her death parallels Sirius'. It's thematically beautiful and it excuses her death coming at the hands of one Molly Weasley (who could never ever in a million years have beaten her on skill alone). She dies because she is arrogant. It's one of her traits. Overconfidence. She was always meant to die like that.
[coincidentally one of the reasons why she would not be a hufflepuff like some suggest: this woman is not humble]
I could go on, but I think I've rambled enough.
P.S. Let's not sleep on the fact that the two of them together would be hot.
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i feel so hurt and upset about Simon he needed to heal too
i can't sleep at night sometimes
I know this is so random but i don't care i feel so hurt by the idea of everyone healing but him dead and bound to be forgetten. .. i want him feel good i want to get him out of there.
I've said this before but as much as I'd like to see the series to its planned end, I'm not that unhappy about not getting season 5. It would be really hard for me to see Amelia get a redemption or her exit when she went on the train as a fully mature adult in her 30s, and did wayyyy worse things than Simon did. Although she was mentally unstable at the time she got on the train, it doesn't seem like she had a history of mental illness before Alrick died.
What Simon did to Grace and Hazel was fucked up, I can wrap my head around his justification for killing Tuba and I'm not the person to debate about this bc I straight up didn't like Tuba. She went out of her way to kidnap and scare Grace and Simon, who would have probably found the exit to the car and went on their way the next day without her interference, and I'm of the opinion that she put both herself and Hazel in danger with her little prank. I know we wouldn't have a story without it, and it doesn't justify her death, but literally from their first interaction she showed Simon she can be hostile and dangerous. And while she warmed up to Grace (according to Grace lol I didn't see much friendly interaction between them at all, just Grace enjoying/admiring the way she interacted with Hazel), Simon always got attitude from her, I can't blame him for not warming up to her.
Simon might have been 18 at the time of his season but let's be honest, both he and Grace were very immature and justifiably so. They only had each other and their delusions for years and years before they became guardians themselves. The train has proven itself to be dangerous, and proved how high the stakes are when he died, but people act like he was a fucking monster for doing what he thought he needed to protect himself, grace and hazel from a perceived threat. He could have been a little more tactful with explaining what happened, or lied about it, but like tbh as a neurodivergent person myself who sees Simon as someone who is on the autism spectrum, I REALLY struggle with lying and deceiving people so I can understand why he just blurted out the truth without any thought.
I do think one of the most irredeemable things he did was dehumanize Grace and trap her in her memories, whether or not he knew it could kill her (I assume he didn't bc the Cat as usual didn't explain shit to him) the way he pushed her over and walks away makes me nauseous.
But I certainly don't think he deserved to die for that, and I think the series would have been a lot better if instead of kicking her off the train again (which at this point in the scene felt kind of slapstick i'm ngl), Simon finally broke out of his paranoid and delusional thought patterns and they were able to drag everyone back into the mall car for a heart to heart.
In my head in episodes 9 and 10 he's a lot like Catra in The Portal episodes, but instead of getting 2 more seasons after his fall from grace (lol) to recover and heal and fix his issues, he just got killed instead.
And it sucks because dude was clearly mentally ill and traumatized, and as someone who has mental illness and trauma that can make me act out sometimes too, who also struggles to read the room and understand what people want from me if they don't tell me directly, who ALSO had parents that didn't have my best interests as even a consideration to whatever they could gain from me, it kind of reinforces my anxiety which tells me that I deserve to suffer because of x y z stupid thing I did or said 5, 10, even 20 years ago.
(and before anyone says simon had all the chances to change and grow that grace did, please rewatch the season, he absolutely did not and all of the events that led to grace growing as a person happened when simon wasn't around, yes he was immature in a lot of moments but dude literally did not have a normal adolescence and to expect him to act like a fucking adult all the time after that is ridiculous)
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https://at.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/703935827956334592/fit9149v77ch
I'll accept this if you'd do the same for other disorders. Would you call it "depressive abuse"? "Anxious abuse"? "Autistic abuse"? "ADHD abuse"? If not, if those seem ableist to you, then you're wrong.
And anon, we already have terms to describe what you went through. Emotional abuse, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting... and so on. Your ability to discuss your abuse isn't impeded by not saying "narcissistic abuse".
Also from an abusive survivor who's been told my mother is a "narcissistic abuser" to another abuse survivor, your feelings do not matter more than the demonization of an entire marginalized group. When you look up NPD everything you find is going to be about how "dangerous" it is, how to "spot narcissists", "how to know if you're a victim of narcissistic abuse". I googled NPD a while ago and the People Also Ask Section was:
Can someone with NPD truly love?
What triggers someone with NPD?
Do people with NPD deserve love?
How does a narcissist show love?
Does narcissism worsen with age?
How do you break a narcissist's heart?
Imagine all of these things being said about your disorder. Oh hey, remember when people used to say the same things about autistics? Ivaar Lovas, an influencial clinical psychologist, used to say that autistics had the shape of a human but lacked personhood and warmth. Less than a decade ago people spoke about autistics as if they were coldblooded, incapable of compassion, completely self-centered and incapable of love. This is clearly ableist, we didn't stand for it then, why is it okay when it's NPD? It's the exact same rehetoric. You can't claim to not be ableist or stand against ableism when you're prepetuating classic ableist rehetoric. Why is a category of people being casted as inherently more dangerous and evil, as lacking humanity? And why is that okay in any context?
It's not like this isn't pervasive. Ableism against Personality Disorders and Psychotic Disorders aren't only common, but they're normalised. Hell, people often refer to these conditions by slurs instead of their name. These have real profound effects, in the case of NPD a diagnosis can get you denied jobs, housing and more because people don't want to "work with abusers" or "house abusers". It can get you cut out of support systems, it puts you at a higher risk of incarceration & unfair sentences due to judicial bias. It puts you at an increased risk of psychiatric and medical abuse.
That's not even touching the bullshit pseudoscience that backs up "narcissistic abuse". Or that it was a term literally coined by someone with no credentials in order to make profit off vulnerable groups (and dismiss his own abusive behavior, which another anon got into).
Every single "narcissistic abuse" article I've read, and video that I've watched — I could point you to at least three things that directly contradicted supported psychological research into NPD, or hell the DSM itself.
Also, don't tell me it isn't ableist because "term by abuse survivors" (which is wrong, considering it was literally coined by an abuser) when narcissistic abuse spaces make it so that masking, an action that's completely normal amongst all neurodivregent people, that's commonly talked about in mental health spaces, suddenly is the most evil thing a narcissist can do. Clearly they're masking to deceive and manipulate you, instead of masking for literally the same reason other neurodivregent people do. Suddenly, even normal words we associate with neurodivergency, mental illness and disability take on new and sinister meanings.
That is 100% ableism.
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Chapter 2
pairing: female!driver oc x mick schumacher
word count: 4.5k words
warnings: explicit language, drinking, motorsport accidents, mentions of sex, mature themes, mentions of mental illness and side effects of this, mentions of prescribed medication, mentions of death
Chapter 2 is here much quicker than expected as I have been in bed sick all day so enjoy x
Comment to be included in the taglist :)
Exiting the plane at the Bahrain Intenational Airport filled me with nerves. My team tried to keep them at bay, joking and chatting with me the whole flight, through the airport and even out into the rental van waiting for us. Unfortunately my dad wasn’t going to be with me for testing and the first race, being stuck in Maranello negotiating a deal on a Ferrari Monza SP2. I joked with him that my 8 year friendship with Charles should have helped him slightly. He informed me that he would absolutely not be bringing that up.
Despite my dad not being next to me, I had all the other people I dreamed would be coming on this journey with me. Sitting next to me was Avery Waller, who had immediately pulled her laptop out to check her emails and find my itinerary sent through by Mercedes. Next to her was obviously Evan Dyer, my beloved trainer and physio, who was currently attempting to help Avery with her emails. I had met Evan at a gym back in Australia when he had started training me. When I made it to F3, I had asked him if he would want to come on board and train me as I travelled between races. He said yes without hesitation. I bought him a one way ticket and an apartment in Monaco and the rest was history. He was as sweet of a soul as they come which shocked most people who saw him. He was a heavily tattooed, pierced, buff man but he had always looked after me.
On the seat across from us was my childhood best friend of 14 years, Renee Ikari. She had her eyes closed and was leaning her head against my other best friend, Otis Diakos, who was rubbing her shoulder soothingly. The pair weren’t used to travelling and were pretty knackered. I smiled watching them, the dainty diamond engagement ring on Renee’s hand glistened as the morning sun slowly trickled through the windows of the van. They had been together for 5 years now and they were my biggest supporters. They knew nothing about racing except what I told them but they always tried to come to races around their jobs. They were chalk and cheese, Renee being short and petite, sweet and soothing while Otis was tall and built, funny and loud but they complimented each other so well and I was very lucky to have them.
Sitting next to them, directly across from me was Daniel Ricciardo, a man who needed no introductions. He was tapping away at his phone, I assumed to Heidi who was joining us in a few days when testing began. She had become a close friend through association to Daniel and I adored them together. Much like my friendship to Carmen and Lily, it was nice to have some female friends who understood me, also saving me from the crazy antics of their boyfriends too.
“Whatcha thinking about kiddo?” Daniel had now looked up from his phone and was putting it away and leaning forward to have a hushed conversation with me, trying not to wake up the lovebirds to his right.
“I honestly don’t even know what I am thinking about, I guess my biggest worry right now is that I hop in the car and I am terrible and it turns out my whole F2 career was a massive fluke and people won’t even blame it on me being awful, they will say it is because I am a woman and I will ruin the progress of women in motorsport for decades to come” With that I slumped forward and hung my head down between my hands.
A comforting shoulder squeeze followed and I looked up to Daniel, his toothy grin already making me slightly less stressed.
“You are doing it again, you are catastrophising. I know it is scary, trust me I do, but just enjoy the journey. What can you do to change the outcome now?”
“I know, there is nothing I can do till I get in that car and see what happens” I sighed, he was right as per usual.
“Exactly and I know for a fact that Bono will have your back the whole time you are in that car” I smiled, I was so excited to meet my new race engineer Peter Bonnington in person, having only chatted via Zoom when discussing car specifications for this 2026 season.
“Ok I feel a lot better. Thank you so much, for this and everything you have done for me over the last year” My lop-sided smile growing big on my face.
“There you go! Big smile is what we like to see” and with that he leaned back in his seat and gestured for me to look out the window. Infront of us stood the Bahrain International Circuit.
I had made it about 10 steps into the paddock before it felt like I had been hit by a car. Except this car was giggling and was actually made up of 4 Formula 1 drivers.
“Holy shit, you are going to injure me before I even get a chance to hop in the car!” I yelled out, laughing slightly at their antics.
I hadn’t seen the boys all off-season apart from George, having spent majority of it at the factory, in the simulator and preparing for this new season to begin.
“Mate, don’t even worry about getting injured. George will take you out in the first turn anyway” Lando had said, making himself and Alex laugh loudly. Charles rolled his eyes and George was left unimpressed, knowing his antics from the 2022 season would never be forgotten by Lando.
“Don’t be so mean Lando” I said punching his arm. I stood back for a second and looked at them as they looked at me.
“Oh come here you lot” I said as I spread my arms as wide as they could go, engulfing them in a group hug. I was once again holding back tears at how happy I was to see them and because I was in the F1 paddock as a driver and not just as their supporter.
“We are all meeting for lunch right? I was thinking Mercedes hospitality considering George and I now have you guys outnumbered” I knew that would annoy them. George got to laugh at the others now while they rolled their eyes.
“Yeah, yeah whatever” Charles said as he turned around walking to the Ferrari motorhome, waving over his back to us as he left.
“Have fun and don’t knock Lori off the track, yeah?” Alex said patting George on the back and giving me an exaggerated wink. And with that, he was off. I had already congratulated him on his move to Audi for this season but seeing him in the black and red with the number ‘23’ on the back as he walked away made me very proud. He deserves better than a Williams and he deserved better than that god awful teammate. Thinking of Alex’s new teammate, Mick Schumacher, however made a soft blush cross my face.
“You coming?” George said snapping me out of my daydream.
“Yeah of course” I said looking up at him. “Wait where did Lando go?” I said turning around.
“He snuck off to go and annoy Danny. He is very excited to have him back in the paddock again” I chuckled knowing that we had discussed how he was more excited that Danny was with me than me actually having a spot in F1.
“Home sweet home” George said holding the Mercedes hospitality door open for me. The rest of my team, minus Daniel, had made there way there already and were chatting with one another and a few of my Mercedes crew.
“It’s so nice to finally get to see you face to face” Turning to my left I was met with Peter Bonnington. Peter, or more commonly known as Bono was Lewis’ senior race engineer and with me taking his place, he was now mine.
“I have to say as a Mercedes fan of over a decade, I am absolutely awestruck right now. But as a professional, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you” I stuck out my hand to shake his as he chuckled at me.
“The awe will wear off very quickly I suspect, Lori. Thank you for your email about the engineering specs, I wasn’t sure if you would understand my rambles given how new you are to the sport but I actually adjusted some settings based on your recommendations. Are you sure you are meant to be a driver and not an engineer?” He chuckled as we walked together towards the garage.
“I was a mechanic apprentice before all of this” I said, gesturing around. “But no, I live for being behind the wheel”
As we walked up to the garage, I looked up at the banner on my side. It showed me standing there in my Mercedes racing suit, arms crossed and stern gaze ahead. Next to it my name and racing number in Petronas blue.
“Pretty cool, huh” Bono said, turning to me. “This way” he said, leading me through the garage and towards a what looked like a group of mechanics and pit crew.
As I walked over, they turned to me and the nerves that had disappeared for a while returned. Would they respect me? I mean they had worked for THE Sir Lewis Hamilton and here I was, a 27 year old Australian girl who got into motorsport way too late.
“Hey guys, it is a pleasure to meet you. I’m Lori Hoffmann but I go by Lo as well” I discreetly wiped my hands down my pant legs. Bahrain was only 22 degrees, light work compared to the Australian Summer but I was sweating bullets.
“Lori, it is fantastic to finally meet you. My name is Ian Dixon, I am the head of your pit crew. I can’t begin to explain how excited we all are. Watching you come through the ranks and finally now racing for Mercedes, it truly is a pleasure” he said, shaking my hand continuously. I blushed slightly and shook his hand back with the same level of enthusiasm.
He finally let go, putting his hands back in his pockets, smiling from ear to ear. He was definitely a dad, I could just tell by looking at him, he was stout and about 5 '10 with ginger hair and a smile that made me feel completely safe. I liked him already.
I turned to the next person in the circle and a slender, professional looking woman looked back at me with a smile like sunshine. She could not have been older than me. I hadn’t initially noticed her but she leaned forward and shook my hand.
“Such a pleasure Lori. We briefly met over Zoom but I am sure you have met so many people. I’m Sally Austin and I will be working as your press officer” she stood with such grace I suspected she had to have been a ballerina at some point in her life. Sleek brunette hair pulled back by a headband. Mercedes polo, tailored black pants and loafers that I knew I would die having to wear all day except she looked completely comfortable.
“I am so sorry, I have met so many people and my head is still swirling with it all. It is a pleasure to meet you. I promise to be on my best behaviour for you” I said the last part rather sheepishly. Surely she had been informed of my attitude towards the media, only the ones that deserved it but I definitely didn’t hold back at all.
“Behave, pfffft, Lo has never behaved in her life when it comes to the media” Hands on my shoulders, Daniel was chuckling, knowing he was pushing my buttons. He shook me back and forward a bit while pulling a silly face.
“Thank you for helping me make good first impressions, Ricciardo” I said sarcastically. I turned back to Sally. “I really will try though”
“Don’t worry Lori, I am not going to let you get walked over and not be able to defend yourself. Toto and I have discussed this and we have a plan of attack if any discriminatory comments are made”
I exhaled a breath that I realised I had been holding since my first day in Brackley. I was with a team that wanted to look after me. I was going to be ok this year. I wouldn’t be facing things alone.
Sally showed me to my driver’s room and left me to get settled in before a track walk and a few social media duties after lunch.
As I slid open the door that had my number stuck to it, I dropped my backpack onto the couch and looked around. A box sat on the table tied up with a pink ribbon. “Huh”.
I picked up the box and plopped down on the couch, crossing my legs like a school child. On top, tucked under the ribbon was an envelope. ‘Ace’ was all that was written on it and I knew immediately who it was from. I began to open it, trying to slow my breath and swallow the pressure building in my throat. Inside the envelope was not a card but infact a letter scribble onto a piece of letter head paper with the words ‘Dutton Garage’ down the bottom left hand corner. I chuckled to myself and felt the tears build in my eyes. I leaned my head back to blink them away before I began to read.
To my beautiful, talented Ace
I am so sorry that I could not be there with you today, I was hoping that the Ferrari deal would have been finalised by now. If it makes you feel better, I will let you take it for a spin when we get it back to Australia, if you are allowed to drive a Ferrari now with this new contract of yours.
I know we have spoken about it and how excited and proud I am of you but I know that I am not always very good at expressing my emotions. I just want you to know that I think you are the absolute bees knees, Ace. I know if your mother was still here, she would think the exact same thing. She would also definitely be asking you to slow down a bit though. “Lori, BRAKES! Lori, seriously?” That was what she was like when I would drive her around. It still makes me chuckle to think about some times, I can take credit for you being a rev head.
Everything else though you owe to your mother. I do always wish you could have met her. You are courageous in the face of adversity and you are warm, kind and protective of all your loved ones. Where others would say “this is too hard” or “it doesn’t affect me”, you stand with those in need and that is what has always reminded me of your mother. Before you got into cars, I always thought you would be a nurse just like her. You are so selfless in nature, a trait that the world barely sees with a professional racing driver.
I can still remember your first day on a go kart track, you refused to hop out of the car because you were so scared you were going to make a fool of yourself. Your hands were shaking so much that you couldn’t even braid your own hair and just like when you were 5 and heading off to school, I braided it for you and have and will continue to braid your hair for you before every race. You are a 1 in 7 billion talent and I saw that as you drove around that track.
Your first lap was 1:03:22 and the boys and their dads chuckled to me, saying that she drives like a girl and that there was a reason there weren’t any other girls there. I waved you back into the pits and lifted your visor and looked you in the eye and I said “Ace, the only one that can tell you ‘you can’t do this’ is you, and you do not have to listen”. I flipped your visor down and patted your helmet and you were out of the pit lane. Your next lap was a 45:845, missing the track record by 2 seconds. I looked over at those dads and I remember that I just couldn’t help myself. “Maybe if your boys drove like a girl, they would be better”.
You are a fighter and I know how much you have been through to get here. I wish I had known how much you were struggling, possum. I would have dropped everything to get to you. That had to be the scariest phone call I had ever received from Angelo. But how you managed to come back stronger than ever shows just how amazing you are.
You could come in P20 on the next race and I will still be so proud. I will be watching the whole thing, I told the Maranello crew that I would need to.
“Straight roads never made skillful drivers”
Lots of love, cannot wait to see you in Melbourne very soon.
Papa x
P.S. Don’t wear the necklace during your races, not worth wasting your penalty points on. Also Mr. Benson changed the badge on his Corvette.
I chuckled at the last part of the letter, dad had always had a thing for humour, although I was confused about Mr. Benson, one of the Dutton Garage regulars being included in there. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and unwrapped a small velvet box and inside that was a dainty gold chain with a ‘79’ pendant on it. As I looked closer I gasped and recognised the squares of white and black. “Holy shit”. My dad had made the pendant out of Mr Benson’s 1979 Corvette badge. The first car I ever drove and my reason for being here.
“I got your little present. Danke schön Papa” was the little text I shot off, knowing that it didn't even begin to show how much I loved it. We would talk soon and I would thank him then. I propped my phone up on the table as a mirror and tried to put on my necklace. A knock on the door startled me and I was reminded how long I had disappeared for.
“Hey gangster, how are you going?” Daniel looked into my eyes and noticed the tears and me fiddling with a necklace clasp.
“I wondered what was in the box” he said as he walked over to help me do up the clasp.
“You put it here?” I asked, looking at the wall in front of me while he fiddled with the chain, trying to get it to close.
“Of course I did, carried this bad boy all the way from Australia. All right, turn around and show us!” and as I spun around he looked to the pendant. “Oh my god, is that a Corvette badge?” Danny carefully picked it up and looked at it.
“Yep, THE Corvette, original badge and everything” I whispered, still shocked at how far my dad had gone to retrieve it for me.
“That is fucking sick!” he said letting go off the chain. “Ready to take it for a track walk?” he raised his eyebrow.
“Born ready” and with that I pushed him out the door with me following behind, laughs coming from both of us.
The track walk was surprisingly fun. I was given a scooter by the team so that I didn’t have to walk, keeping my energy and avoiding blisters before testing. I was incredibly thankful as I needed all guns blasing for testing coming up in 2 days.
I flew into the pit lane after having raced George back on the scooters.
“I win! Sucked in bitch!” I yelled, having crossed the start/finish line first.
“Yeah, yeah, well I let you win” George stuttered back.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, mate” I said, clapping him on the back.
As we got off our scooters, I looked up to see Alex, smiling like he had just caught George red handed. “You just lost you, idiot!”
“Good to see you too mate! You ready to round up the troops for lunch?”
“Yes sir! I was going to ask, mind if I bring Mick along?” Alex’s eyes briefly flicked over to me and then back to George.
“More the merrier, I say!” and with that George was heading back to hospitality to wait for the rest of our friends. George and Mick were rather close, Mick having been the Mercedes reserve driver for the last few years, being a massive contributor to the top level car we had again.
“Is that ok with you too?” Alex bumped shoulders with me and wiggled his eyebrows.
“God, what is wrong with you, Albono?” I said angrily but the blush on my face had deceived me. Not like it mattered, Alex was the only one of the group with the emotional maturity to realise how I looked at Mick. In fact, I hadn’t even realised till he pointed it out.
“I will meet you guys there, ok? I am going to go and find Novalak, haven’t seen him once today” Waving goodbye I set off in the direction of the Alfa Romeo garage.
Peeking my head in, I spotted the back of Clement Novalak’s head, adorned with large headphones. He was moving his hips side to side and reading over what looked to be an engineering document. It was like he created these scenarios himself. Without fail, I tiptoed right up to him and blew lightly on the back of his neck, dodging as his hand came around to swat whatever he thought was there. I repeated the action and again he did too. I repeated once more and he swung around, releasing what sounded like a scream and a growl at the same time.
Before he could think, I had wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him so tight he pretended to gasp for air.
“Mon canard! How good to see you! I must say the old black and teal looking rather superb” he said in one of his silly accents and making what appeared to be a duck face.
“I am absolutely starving, are you coming for lunch?”
“Don’t have to ask me twice, mate! Let’s go” and with that he had linked our arms and started skipping, allowing me to be dragged behind before my feet could find there way.
As we walked we chatted about our new teams and who we had met so far. It was absolutely amazing listening to Clem and how happy he was to have finally arrive in F1. He had the biggest smile on his face and he looked very happy in the red and white polo bearing his number on the back.
Just as we were about to turn the corner into the Mercedes hospitality, having already waved to the boys sitting under an umbrella outside, I felt my face connect with what felt like a plank of wood.
Startled, I looked up and realised that I had unfortunately ran into a plank, he just wasn’t made of wood. Looking back at me with an arrogant look on his face was Logan Sargaent.
“Sorry I didn’t see you there. You kind of blend in with all the other woman running around after us drivers” he chuckled to himself.
“Hello Logan, good to see you again. I love what you’ve done with your hair, the way you get it to come out of your nostrils like that is incredible” Beside me Clem snorted before realising that maybe he shouldn’t have and instead decided to stand there with a shit eating grin on his face.
“You know most females don’t talk to men like that”
“I didn’t realise women talk to you full-stop. Anyway I am busy, lunch with my friends, i would suggest you go do the same thing but we both know you don’t have friends”
With that I walked off, pulling Clem who was giving Logan a death stare.
“That looked exciting” Charles said, looking over my face for any signs of upset as we took a seat at the table.
“Pleasant as always, he is” and with that I stabbed my salad with a fork, thanking George for grabbing me one from the kitchen.
We all talked while we ate, different conversations ranging from soccer, to video games to our hopes and dreams for the season were had.
“How are you feeling, Lori?” I looked up to meet those beautiful blue eyes and immediately broke eye contact, opting to look at his food instead.
“Better than I have all week, I was so nervous” I slightly yelled out, trying to talk over the other 2 conversations that were happening simultaneously. “Wait a second, I will come over there”
Grabbing my salad and water bottle, I squeezed in next to Mick and then pushed everyone back down to make some room.
“Sorry about that, I was just saying that I feel the most reassured right now than I have all week. What about you? How are you feeling moving teams?” I smiled warmly at him. He nodded along.
“I remember it all too well. I am really excited to be getting back onto the grid and in a top performing car, although I guess that is meant to be hush-hush till testing so you didnt hear that from me” he giggled.
“I won’t tell a soul” I leaned in to whisper before going back to my salad.
“Always, Lori, don’t listen to Logan, all of us are really excited to be racing against you. He is just threatened”
“Don’t worry, he won’t be racing me, he is in a Williams” I chuckled to myself.
“Hey! I heard that!” Alex looking at me with mock horror on his face.
“I said what I said” Poking out my tongue at him, he did the same before Lily smacked him for poor table manners.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mick chuckling at our antics. Oh how badly I wanted what I knew I could not have.
@eternalharry @stillbreathin
#formula 1#mick schumacher#mick schumacher x reader#daniel ricciardo#clement novalak#lando norris#george russell#mercedes amg petronas#charles leclerc#nyck de vries#alexander albon#driver!reader#driver x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fic
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this fandom needs to learn balance when they talk about mentally ill characters.
wilbur is a mentally ill character. sometimes he hurts people because of avoidable choices that he made that he needs to reflect on and grow from, sometimes he hurts people through his spiraling mental health because they care about him and it hurts them to see him hurt and scares them to think they might lose him.
you have to acknowledge Both of these things when examining his character because they’re both integral to the conversation and not separate from each other. you can’t have a conversation about how he doesn’t always make rational decisions without acknowledging that his crumbling mental health leads him to lash out and push people away. you can’t have a conversation about how wilbur has hurt other characters without acknowledging that not all of the hurt that people feel can be put on his hands as being his Fault, and while these things need to be acknowledged it would be cruel to force wilbur to take the blame for them.
moreover, we need to be able to have a conversation about characters acting irrationally towards wilbur and forcing blame and demonization on him unfairly And characters who are directly affected by wilbur’s actions in a negative way who are upset or scared or angry without erasing nuance or conflating one for the other.
characters should be allowed to be angry without it immediately being assumed that wilbur either is or isn’t inherently at fault. niki, for instance, has every right to be mad, but what she’s angry about is being abandoned which isn’t something that wilbur actually did to her. his actions directly affected her but he isn’t at Fault just because she’s angry with him. there are more complicated emotions at play than can be expressed with “wilbur hurt niki and now she’s mad at him.”
likewise, tommy’s feelings about wilbur aren’t all rational, but tommy’s actual fears (that wilbur was going to lash out after he was revived, which is something that he threatened to do in limbo [Link], and then that wilbur was going to lie to him) were based on wilbur’s actions. tommy’s feelings towards wilbur can’t and Shouldn’t be painted with one brushstroke in either direction, because that will lead to unfair demonization either way. some of tommy’s anger at wilbur is down to him not being able to process or understand what happened between them and some of it is down to tangible choices wilbur made and addressing their complicated relationship can only happen when we examine it with both these facts on the table.
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I have a bit of a confession to make. An actual confession this time actually.
I...am a Zuko anti.
I know, it seems odd. I only talked about him directly the one time during my Last Agni Kai post and indirectly during my comic posts. So I'm not going directly out of my way to attack him or anything. And I do understand that he is a popular character that has touched countless of people, so I do need to give him credit for that.
The problem I have with Zuko though is...complicated.
I'll admit, I was kind of neutral to him during the show popular. Knew he was gonna be redeemed eventually, would fight Azula eventually and "win", and knew he was going to be the new Fire Lord to bring about an end to the War. I got that. I think all viewers got that. Though I never really built that much of a connection to the character since I related more to some of the others (Aang, Katara, and Azula come to mind), and I was annoyed that he got away with some of the stuff he pulled during Book 1 and some overall problems with his arc that were left unaddressed, but accepted he was in a good position to do better and mend bridges and all that by series end. That I have no problem with.
My issues came around when the comics were released.
To put it simply, Zuko's flaws were jacked up to eleven. His arrogance and hotheadedness that got him into trouble during Book 1 came back. Now, this alone isn't a problem. Not saying one can't backslide into old habits. The problem comes about when the narrative doesn't acknowledge it. He's supposed to be a good guy now. On the right side, yet he's still doing the same villainous things over and over again. And for some reason, the Gaang doesn't call him out on any of it. That alone is an issue.
Then...there's his relationship with Azula.
Remember how I said there was some problems they left unaddressed? Zuko's rivalry with Azula was one of them. I'm convinced that the more he pursues this rivalry, the more toxic and awful of a person he becomes. Especially since Azula was not Zuko's abuser. That would be Ozai, the one who scarred his face after all. And I wasn't entirely convinced that the Last Agni Kai was his redeeming moment where he showed compassion towards Azula at the last shot. Again...was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then the comics quashed that.
He became an abusive jackass that physically assaults Azula with very little provocation, allows his friends to harass and provoke her into violence, and blames it all on her when she inevitably snaps. And the narrative supports him.
I...have autism. I have what many would consider to be a mental disability. I know what it's like to have a breakdown. To feel like a burden on my family whether underserved or not. And for a long time I was terrified of coming out because there is a stigma towards mental illness.
So when I see pages like this:
...the comics made me despise Zuko for a long ass time. And we're talking years.
Next thing you know I'm convinced that Zuko was doomed to be his father. To be the next Ozai. And I was so convinced, I started seeing only the worst in him. The monster. How every action he took was just proof that he'd never change and he'd be nothing more than a monster worse than his sister. And how fundamentally broken the narrative was for making excuses for him which genuinely affected my enjoyment of the show.
Cause shit like that? ...I saw myself a lot in Azula, and that made me hate Zuko on a very personal level. To the point I seriously considered writing fics where he'd get butchered just out of spite. It was that. Bad.
Comics!Zuko felt like everything I stood against. And soon everything around him became difficult to even look at. Cause how in the Nine Circles of Hell would anyone see this asshole as a beloved hero?
So why am I telling you guys this? Why tell you I once hated Zuko so bad I genuinely wanted to see him dead?
Easy...I don't want to hate him anymore.
Cause it's unfair both to the character and the fans who do like him. That do accept his flaws and want to see him overcome them. I respect those people and all the more power to them.
And as much as I love Azula, I don't want to harp on Zuko anymore. Even if his most diehard fans want me to tear my hair out, I don't want that spilling over to the character himself. Honestly, I think even he'd be disgusted by their attitude. Since tearing Azula down to make himself look good is...well it's the same as tearing him down to make Azula look good.
Again, I still have a grudge against Zuko, but I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm just giving my two cents and throwing it in the ring. Feel free to unfollow me if you want, that's fine. I figured you guys deserved to know going forward.
And I do hope this post is a step in the right direction at least.
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hhhh I'm just
i love izzy to death obviously but it's driving me a little mental about how people refuse to acknowledge his harms even when writing from Ed's pov and I'm just like. really
like thinking about mental illness and neurodivergence in the text and how to be izzy reads as very autistic + anxiety whereas ed comes off as very ADHD and BPD
and people are perfectly willing to accept that Ed has ADHD when it means that Ed is stupid or needs to be managed, and even besides the stigma against personality disorders in general, absolutely refuse to acknowledge that Ed's erratic moods, constant spirals between depressions and obsessions, violent lashing out, difficulty to commit or make decisions etc... might also be symptoms
and it's so blatantly fucking racist
like people do it already with white men's autism all the time, where it's like a get out of jail free card to be a rigid asshole, and the implication being that white autistic men are super duper special boys who just don't KNOW they're bigoted, or are incapable of learning not to be bigoted because they're frightened of change and difference
its the self-infantilisation argument that's inherent to a lot of white "ignorance" but it's turned up to 11, bonus points if the label used is "aspergers" to really hammer home the eugenics
meanwhile literally everything ed does is used as a cudgel against him? acting like Ed is manipulative BY being depressed or BY being suicidal, but also like
his up and down moods are not a nebulous "crazy" to blame and attack him for - he's a heavily traumatised, unbelievably lonely and isolated, indigenous man navigating an extremely racist world in a position of command constantly threatened by violence, esp of white imperialism, but specifically by individual white ppl holding up or echoing that power structure
like? are you really surprised he's erratic? are you really surprised he constantly mimics other people's personalities and gives them whatever they seem to want from him? are you surprised he does performance after performance and is very careful about showing his "real" self?
like i think about when lucius snaps at Ed and is like "most people aren't cool like you are" when like, Lucius has seen Ed be vulnerable several times, but also when Ed is doing that routine it's ultimately him worrying about his reputation which is. directly a worry about his own safety and survival
and when Lucius says that it's a mini revelation because like... oh, he doesn't HAVE to be cool here? he can relax? he can enjoy it?
(but also... can he really? who else is watching? where are the cracks in this fuckery? what's will happen to him if he lets his guard down too long?)
like I'm screaming bc ed constantly and continuously faces rejection, because he comes off as very ND, because people find him "intense" and "intimidating" and "hard to read" and "distant" and all of that is multiplied a thousand fold by the specific ways in which people racialise him, associating him with violence, lacking capacity for pain and especially emotional pain, and putting his "craziness" down as like, the uninhibited "savagery" in him or whatever
like, bro!
and especially to then paint all of that and the ways he holds his position as unthinkably abusive when izzy's abuse is JUST from a victim's POV, but also then specifically within their interactions to act like Ed is victimising Izzy and there's not, you know? some mutual mental illness things going on, sure, but also its a racially charged relationship between a brown man and his violently white lieutenant?
like. i just don't see how that can interest you when all of that is part of the POINT of the SHOW
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The FNDM’s ableism has been getting really bad, Clyde. I mean, people are going so far as to compare James and Pietro and say that, because James’ prosthetics allow him to be more mobile, he’s there for “less handicapped”…yeah, really.
Yeah, I came across that comment a couple of days ago, did a horrified double-take, and by the time I'd pulled myself away from a OFMD fic long enough to think about commenting, the rest of the RWDE community had done it all for me.
There's just... so much there. The inherent ableism of believing there's this disability hierarchy at play and every character gets a color-coded sticker for how disabled they "really" are. The biases attached to less visible/less represented disabilities in media (the guy in the wheelchair is accepted in a way the "passing" amputee capable of covering his prosthetics with long sleeves is not). The belief that "real" disabilities are tied directly to suffering (inspiration porn). The belief that Good People (Yang) are inherently "more" disabled and worthy of compassion than Bad People (Ironwood). How all of this is tied up in the rest of Ironwood's character, including his Schrodinger's semblance that reads like a mental illness. Even lacking an acknowledgement of really basic fandom facts like how Ironwood has been written as Penny's dad in AUs because he's been a full-fledged character with a connection to her since Volume 2... whereas Pietro didn't become more than just a profile until Volume 7. Generally speaking, are there problems in fandom at large with ignoring (other) disabled characters/characters of color? Abso-fuckin-lutely. But in this particular case I'd lay that accusation at RT's feet, considering they literally put Pietro in a potentially life-threatening situation and then just forgot about him, including having his magically-turned-human daughter (read: no longer sporting a disability-metaphor body) die without once wondering whether her dad made it to safety. The fans writing fun AUs about a character with Volumes more development because the writers already do not care about Pietro? They're not the ones to go after.
As said, it's all already been covered — I'm late to the party — but honestly? It bears repeating. Not because I believe in dog-piling any one person who makes a mistake, no matter how horrible a mistake we perceive it to be, but because this narrative of, 'I as an individual made a mistake don't blame the fandom at large' is ignoring the bigger problem. The fandom is ableist. Does that mean every individual in it is ableist, either knowingly or ignorantly? Of course not, but it means there's a reason why these takes keep cropping up; why we keep ending up in this cycle of someone saying something ableist, others getting (rightfully) upset over it, and then trying to downplay it like a one-time thing until the next ableist post inevitably comes along. As someone who blocks sparingly, I see all the takes that get tons of notes before someone finally speaks up and says hey, that's not okay. The idea that these takes are the opinions of just one (1) person is nonsense. We exist on a website that literally shows you how many people agree in the form of hearts and that doesn't even begin to cover all the silent readers who agree but never engage. The fandom is ableist because the world is ableist and because the canon has a host of ableism built into it, despite (and sometimes because of) its attempts to give us disabled characters. That's the reason why comments like these turn into "drama." It's never just about you, a one-off fluke posting something bad when that's definitely never ever happened before /s. The entire point is that it keeps happening and that so many support it until the tide turns against them. Fans are up-in-arms about the most blatant ableist comment we've seen in a while because there's been years worth of more subtle, but still very ableist fandom-ing before this. People are sick of it. Ironwood fans in particular are sick of it because too often the ableism they call out is hand-waved away with 'Oh, you're just a lunatic who likes dictators,' or whatever the current insult attempt is. Of course people aren't letting this pass with a metaphorical slap on the wrist because it's not something that has passed. The ableism is alive and well in the RWBY fandom. Libraries' worth of fanart of Yang sporting her prosthetic doesn't erase that.
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Feminists in South Korea are planning to conduct nationwide protests against gender-based violence this weekend, the first to occur simultaneously in several major cities since the pandemic.
It's a response to an anti-feminist wave that has swept across South Korea, creating a tense gender war where discourse around women's rights is taboo and men claim they are now the victims of gender discrimination.
The pandemic had put a stop to most public gatherings, but with the loosening of restrictions this year, feminists are returning to the streets in larger numbers.
In October, thousands of people from across the country flocked to Seoul to protest President Yoon Suk Yeol's plans to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. Civic, labor and social groups, including Korean Women's Associations United, joined forces to call on the government to advance women's rights.
The feminist organization Haeil (Korean for "tsunami") is leading the protestsin the cities of Seoul, Gwangju and Busan on Sunday.
An administration fueling anti-feminist sentiment
South Korea's feminist movement made strides in the last five years, creating one of the most successful #MeToo movements in Asia. The movement took down major public figures accused of sexual misconduct, including the mayor of Busan, South Korea's second-largest city.
But now some men think things have gone too far.
Yoon won the presidency earlier this year on a platform accusing feminists of misandry and appealing to young men who feel like they must bear the brunt of Korea's growing economic insecurity and shrinking job market. Policies meant to increase economic opportunity for women and close the gender pay gap have fueled young men's resentment toward women.
Anti-feminists have taken to social media and online communities to spread their belief that Korean feminists are radical man-haters. One YouTube channel with more than 500,000 subscribers uploads videos that target feminists as "mentally ill" radicals who promote female chauvinism.
Yoon has continued to push his anti-feminist agenda in recent months, insisting he will follow through with his campaign plans to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. The ministry was established in 2001 to provide resources for girls suffering from sexual and domestic violence and to ensure polices do not discriminate based on gender.
Yoon blamed the ministry's officials for treating men like "potential sex criminals" and escalating gender inequality.
"Abolishing the gender ministry is about strengthening the protection of women, families, children and the socially weak," he told reporters in October.
For the past couple decades, South Korea has continued to boast the largest gender pay gap among the countries in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). As of 2021, the gender pay gap in South Korea was 31% — more than double the OECD average of about 12%. For comparison, the wage gap is 16.9% in the United States.
South Korean women largely must choose between career and family, with The Economist's glass-ceiling index ranking it the worst country in the OECD for working women in 2022. Strict maternity leave policies at workplaces are one of the reasons for South Korea's alarmingly low fertility rate at 0.8 children per woman — the lowest in the world, according to The World Bank.
Apart from discrimination in the workplace, women are held to a beauty standard many believe to be unfair and inappropriate. There's a stigma against women who do not wear makeup or who have short hair, said Yusu Li, a member of the feminist group Haeil.
Danbi Hwang, another member of Haeil, said if women do not wear makeup to work, coworkers ask, "Do you feel OK? Is something wrong?"
"They respond by directly attacking women's appearance," she said.
The "escape the corset" movement took South Korea by storm in 2019, a rejection of the country's standards of beauty and social pressure to conform.
But these societal expectations toward women still exist. In one notable case, at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021, South Korean archer An San — who won three gold medals at Tokyo — became the target of online abuse from anti-feminists who claimed her hairstyle indicated she was a radical feminist.
When even one's hairstyle can become a reason for verbal abuse and accusations of man-hating, many young women in South Korea are fearful of speaking up about women's rights.
Ellen Kwon, 25, said many young Korean men look down on women for being passionate about gender equality.
Kwon, who has spent half her life in Korea and half in the U.S., said she would not openly talk about gender issues around her Korean friends.
"I know how guys will react," she said. "I know they're going to be like, 'This is another girl talking about gender issues again.'"
"Femi," short for feminist, has become a derogatory label for any person who speaks up about gender discrimination and women's empowerment in South Korea. Hwang, of Haeil, said asking someone if they are a "femi" in Korea is the same thing as asking if they have a mental illness.
"This type of rhetoric is censoring women's voices, especially when they try to support gender issues," said Jinsook Kim, a professor at Emory University who studies online misogyny and feminism. "A lot of women cannot talk about gender issues in public spaces, and they don't even talk to their close friends, because they don't know what their friends think about it."
For this reason, many feminists work online, anonymously. Many of those who don't receive death threats on a regular basis, leading some to leave the country.
With a lack of public figures openly advocating for women's rights, young Korean girls are struggling to find their role models, Kim said.
In the corporate world, women only hold about 21% of managerial positionsand only 5% of executive positions in South Korean companies. Politics reflects a similar makeup. In the legislature, only 19% of seats are held by women. And, according to Kim, there are very few feminist professors teaching at Korean universities.
"It's hard to say there is hope when you look at the overall situation," said Li, of Haeil. "But what makes me hopeful are my fellow feminists, friends, seeing women like me who have short hair with no makeup, and women's rights protests that show we are not alone."
#South Korea#backlash#women’s rights#strict beauty standards#MeToo#Haeil#Ministry of Gender Equality and Family#Korean Women's Associations United#Protecting women and girls from sex based violence means treating men like sex criminals according to anti-feminists#Wage gap#Low fertility rate#Escape the corset#Online abuse of women#Fami
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thank you!!!! i regret ever taking part on the liam slander when it was happening i guess i was just frustrated and i fucking hate the paul brothers so it took me a long time to actually see the bigger picture and how fucking bad he actually had it, i remember those posts where he tagged maya asking her to take him back (i think?) and it was like ass o' clock in the morning and thinking "why has nobody told him to stop" "where are his friends" "who are his friends" "can't nobody check up on him" i hope he's in a better place now, he looks happier and that's incredibly comforting but at the same time we really don't know if he has his shit together behind the scenes, he might still be struggling and i hope with everything in me that he has at least one person he can trust and count on
yeah, I mean people forget they were extremely young when they got put in that band and assuming the role of "daddy direction" cannot have been an easy thing to do. Always having to be the responsible one, the one to take the blame, the mature one? No, that's bullshit. That amount of pressure could take down anyone so easily. People didn't even give him the benefit of the doubt and that was just WRONG. I'm not saying the rest of them had it easier bc we know for a fact they didn't, but everybody copes different. We know he had drinking problems and dealing with addiction is never easy and it affects way more aspects of your life than people dare considering. I remember thinking he relapsed last year, so I couldn't get mad at him for a second when all the shitshow with the paul brothers aired. Addiction is a personal problem but it is also a reflection of us as a society. Mental illness always brings the worst of people out, as the one suffering from it directly and as a community that will never take an active part in someone's recovery. It's so easy to just point fingers and blame the person with the mental illness, instead of realizing that one is never capable of getting better without an actual support system. Liam's blacklash was so strong on social media that he had to delete the apps on his phone and that's fucked. I'm not saying that he is innocent of it all but in this scenario nobody is and we can't expect the same behavior and coping mechanisms from everyone. I hope he is in a better place now, thank god it looks like it but I also hope he is surrounded by people that actually care about him and that are truly willing to step in and help him every step of the way
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The more I see and think about what seems to be the prevalent fan interpretation of how Stede and Mary’s marriage fell apart — that Mary tried but Stede didn’t — the more I hate it. It’s just wrong and honestly kind of gross on multiple levels.
Firstly from a basic plot and character level this does not align with what we see of Stede as a character over all, and is just objectively not true. The first flashback we see of Stede’s previous family life is of Mary having a conversation with the kids about their farm animals and Stede attempting to join in. Plus his idea to create a ship in the first place was obviously an attempt to try to make life less miserable for them. You can say that his efforts were misguided at times and that he had a tendency to shut down and withdraw when they were ill-received, but you can’t act like he didn’t try at all.
Then there’s the ableism of looking at someone who almost certainly has some kind of CPTSD from years of being harassed and abused specifically for being soft and emotionally vulnerable and saying he just should have been more open about how he felt. And yes, I understand that mental illness is an explanation not an excuse and that Stede can’t expect people to be responsive to what he’s feeling if he doesn’t tell them about it, but I need everyone else to understand that it’s incredibly hurtful and dismissive to see someone who isn’t being as open and vulnerable as you think they should be and write them off as not trying. Not to mention I haven’t seen a single person (outside of a handful who were responding directly to things I said; love y’all) point out how Mary — due to understandable and valid frustration and possibly even trauma of her own — created a space that was very hostile toward Stede sharing his feelings.
Then for a second go round on the ableism train, there’s the fact that Stede and Mary’s marriage was clearly suffering pretty severely from communication issues, but we’re not treating this a thing that can happen and that both parties need to work together to address. Instead we’re just going to put all the blame for being bad at communicating on the autistic(-coded) character. Fantastic; a real classic that one. That’s not to say Stede doesn’t play a part; he definitely has an issue where when they miscommunicate he will passively accept blame and shut down rather than actually trying to get to the root of the issue. But Mary doesn’t try to resolve any miscommunications either, instead immediately assuming selfishness or other ill-intent on Stede’s part and lashing out at him.
And finally, thematically this ends up creating a pretty terrible message. Their marriage is clearly supposed to be emblematic of the oppressive society that the both of them live in. So when you say the problem was that Stede didn’t try in his marriage it necessarily means that the reason Stede didn’t fit into the aristocratic society is because he didn’t try hard enough. And that’s already gross on its own without following through to the implied he would have been able to fit in and make it work if he just tried hard enough. Absolutely hate that for him 💖
The problem with Mary and Stede’s marriage is that the were both shoved into a role that they didn’t want and weren’t suited for and as a result frequently showed up imperfectly. And they both tried very hard to make it work, but it didn’t and it never would have no matter how hard they tried because fuck patriarchy, fuck colonialism, fuck capitalism, fuck oppressive systems of power. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
#ofmd#stede bonnet#mary bonnet#Ted talk more like Ted rant#literally so ready to throw down with every single person who keeps saying shit like this#also y’all are making me hate Mary#do you want that? do you want me to hate Mary?#because I don’t want to hate Mary#but it’s really hard not to have an emotional reaction like that when I’m constantly seeing everyone treating her like Saint Mary#while Stede is the garbage person who is entirely at fault for everything
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Hii I hope you see this I’ve been loving your post about remember me and I’ve so many thoughts in my head for one I’m mad at the mom for using em against name and making it seem like he’s just dropped him cause he won’t speak, I’m upset that em broke his promise to name, I’m upset his bother didn’t even try to comfort him when he was expressing his heartbreak over em breaking his promise just to say it was his fault because he isn’t normal???? Who says that to their kid?? but I’m just thinking now that he found out he won’t be on for a whole month have already standing him up but that he rather tell names mom instead of him that name will just shut em and everyone around him out
I’m worried he might also harm himself he has no one his mom yells at him makes it seem like he is this weird thing when he’s her kid! She doesn’t understand him she never understand him and em isn’t there he won’t be there for a whole month it scares me he will hurt himself but also what if when em try’s to get in contact with him he instead just doesn’t answer him because he thinks he is the problem? That he thinks em deserves someone who is normal someone who can speak I fear that the hurt name is feeling will consume him and he will just go into a shell of depression I want name to be happy but right now em is someone who hurt him and so is his mother and all of his other friends are gone too. One person I’m thankful for is Gun he seems to be the only one who sees things from names pov
Yeah, I'm deeply worried that Name is just going to sink into himself and isolate himself from everyone around him instead of continuing to open up. He's being abandoned by all the people he thought he could rely and he's not even being directly abandoned. He's being left behind by Em and through his mother and he's being told by his mother that this is all his choice, his fault, his problem.
That is enough to break someone even with support systems in place and Name has none of that anymore. He's got nothing except a mother who blames him for everything and a friend far away and drifting farther because he's so busy.
When Name was screaming about the promise and his mother just turned it into another lecture about him talking... and then he was hurt and he was trying to tell her and all she can think about, all she has for him, is more about him refusing to talk and how he's choosing to ruin his own life and that juxtaposed with him trying to say Em's name until he broke down... I hope this show can give us what we deserve with him, honestly.
I actually got mad when she was talking to her mother about how she refused to speak with her and obviously relating that to Name. He's not refusing to speak! He's writing, he's signing, he's typing, he is speaking in every way but using his voice. This isn't a breakdown in communication except on her part but she's putting all the blame on him.
I do worry about Name and depression and self-harm, no denials, though I don't know if the show is going to go that far. It's hard to tell, honestly, what the show is going to do. I'm worried the narrative will take his mother's side... but I don't know. I just don't know.
Anyway.
Yes.
I am also mad at Em, pissed at Name's mom and very, very worried for Name who has been trapped in a place that he cannot escape from with people who don't support him and now is isolated in a home with someone who thinks he is to be blamed for his own mental illness and has for his entire life.
#remember me#remember me series#remember me meta#thai bl#bl drama#thaibl#bl series#thai bl series#thai bl drama#thai drama#thai series#self harm mention#depression mention#i just worry so much for name#but i also worry for the narrative
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pizzez me off zo fucking much that i have to be unbelievably polite juzt to be taken zeriouzly when i tell people that pzychoziz &/or npd dont make zomeone an inherently bad perzon. i have to put in like a million dizclaimerz that "im not defendin theze awful people or what they did and they're piecez of zhit"
& then you ZTILL have to brace for the reality that nobody fuckin carez. people /like/ being able to zay "pzychopath" or "zociopath" or "pzychotic killer" or "narcizziztic abuze" becauze it letz them zeparate themzelvez from people who've done bad thingz. they get to pozition themzelvez above thoze "awful pzychotic narcizziztz" or "dizguztin pzychopathz". it letz them tell themzelvez that they would never do zuch thingz, they would never hurt another human bein, becauze theyre not a narcizzizt / pzychotic / pzychopath / zociopath / etc. and it thuz letz them diztance themzelvez from any harm they have cauzed, becauze itz not 'zeriouz harm', becauze they dont have whichever brand of mental illnezz theyre uzing az a zcapegoat.
& even then the only way you can pozzibly hope to be taken zeriouzly, inztead of bein treated az "another narcizzizt / pzychotic / pzychopath etc etc tryin to deflect blame / gazlight / whatever" you have to completely divorce yourzelf from bein whichever thing theyre uzin. i cannot pozzibly be a pzychotic guy in that zituation. im not allowed to be inzane becauze nobody would care to lizten to me, then. I have to type with perfect grammar, and just the right level of concern that I come across as formal, and well-meaning. I'm not /allowed/ to stamp my foot, or tell people they're ableist. All I am is concerned. I just 'feel like we can call them awful people without throwing mentally ill folk under the bus', to directly quote the comment I left on the post that sparked these feelings.
it juzt feelz awful. knowin that the moment you reveal thiz zort of ztuff haz a perzonal ztake for you, that readin zhit that zayz zimply havin zomethin makez you inherently evil, your feelinz on it dont matter. no matter how formal, no matter how polite, no matter how gently concerned. doeznt fuckin matter. nobody carez, cuz the moment 'narcizzizt' meanz 'abuzer', people that dont get branded az narcizziztz are fantaztic people - even if they delegate zeriouz and intenze harm to otherz - & people who do get branded az narcizziztz are the mozt awful people anyone could ever come in contact with - even if they're doin their bezt to care for the people in their life.
itz the zame with uzin empathy to mean 'the capacity to care for other people in the abzolute zlightezt'. it juzt throwz low empathy people under the buz, and letz abuzerz get away with zhit becauze 'they have empathy, they cant be a bad perzon!!!' but thatz a different topic & not one im gettin into rn
thankz if u read thiz lmao
It's absolutely ridiculous ur so right
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Hit the wasps nest: Mrs everdeen
Oooo do I got words for this one??? Okay so I have an opinion.
Her depression wasn’t something that she could help, you cannot blame her for her mental health issues. It’s not like she was like “oh yes, forget my kids, my husband died, let them starve” like no, she had a problem that needs help.
But also, Katniss (and Prim too) deserved the right to literally never forgive her for what she put them through. It’s like someone who’s bipolar or schizophrenic literally cannot help what they’re doing at times but because of their illness they could traumatize others with their actions and people who are affected by it actually deserve the right to be mad???? My biggest issue isn’t Mrs. Everdeen and her illness, it’s the issues that come up like this one irl. There’s this like forced compassion on people nowadays, like people cannot be angry. Like I’m not even saying I wouldn’t have compassion for someone who’s illness hurt me, but I also would be super mad if it was just expected of me. Like I reserve the right to feel how I feel???? If someone’s ill, they shouldn’t be vilified but neither should the people who feel some sort of way about how it directly affected them.
Anyways that’s only the first part but let’s just recap with a quick TLDR : Mrs. Everdeen’s not to blame for her illness but I actually liked Katniss more for being angry about what it did to her (parentification) because it struck me as a much more relatable and human reaction than a lot of the like ✨woke✨ things I see nowadays in books and movies and shows. Woke in this case meaning, you can tell a character is written a certain way in order to make a point or send a message to the viewers, not because it makes any sense to the character or story itself.
Okay so now, part two : she wasn’t responsible for her cationic depression but I really never once understood her submission to her eldest daughter (who was literally TWELVE at the time) when she came out of it. Like I could imagine a lot of people going through a period like that, maybe not totally to the point of their children starving to death but perhaps inadvertently parentifiying their eldest to some degree. But like, when they’re better, even if their kid puts up the fight, it’s like you gotta actually force your kid to move back into the child position. Like you are their mother???? Katniss herself saying in Catching Fire that when she took over as head of the household at 12, that meant she could never stop protecting her mother and Prim, was such a ??? to me. Like the fact that Katniss learned to hunt and trade and kept them alive isn’t where I really question Mrs. E. It’s the fact that it remained that way forever more once it shifted. Like you’re her mother???? It’s your job to take care of her, she was like 12??? Go hunting yourself once you’re better, I cannot imagine letting my child do illegal things and risk her life to keep me and her sister alive, even if she’s naturally gifted at it and I’m not??? Mrs. E was an adult in her early 40s (I did the math), her daughter was 12, like crawl under the fence with a bow, woman!!! Go trade at the Hob yourself!!! So yeah, these reasons all make me kind of eh towards the lady. She never was much of a mother to Katniss, except when the girl was sick. Once she was sick, her mom was like ✨I gotchu kiddo✨ otherwise, she was like “you lead, I’ll follow”.
But she’s v fun to play with in fics so if you read my writings, expect some stuff with her!!!
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