#and at a certain point they KNOW which pages the other person is going to be interested in so they start fucking with them
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This is the piece (and the sketch) I was talking about yesterday in the tags of that one other drawing in my previous reblog
#I hate twitter. It's impossible to find anything and it's impossible to use it as an archive#I *knew* the time around which these drawings were posted by the artist#and yet I had to spend over half an hour scrolling down their twitter media page to find it#ALL FOR NOTHING#Because (and it has happened a lot of times to me on twitter‚ even in my own account) after a certain point back in time#Twitter won't show you more stuff. As if anything too old had been deleted. But it hasn't! It's just unreachable unless you have a link#Or you find a retweet#I remembered I had liked these posts in my personal account where I don't have a lot of things and that's why I was able to find them#But it's infuriating how twitter works#I'm not an artist so idk but it's truly beyond me why artists use it as main media to post their works#It's impossible to find anything if you don't happen to see a retweet‚ follow the artist or twitter suggest the tweet to you#And it's impossible to look for anything after a week if the person is a bit active on twitter#Even worse to go back a decent amount of time because things just disappear for no reason. The tweets are not deleted so why#How can it work this way? How can it work so bad? And it's not even Musk. This happened way before him. It's always been wonky this way#Anyway... I don't even want to say how long I spent yesterday looking for these pieces but here they are haha#Several people liked the other one I reblogged so I wanted to share them#Oh another thing twitter does that I hate is that it dislikes stuff. I go into my likes and even though they are in my likes page‚#most posts have the heart of having liked it removed. I go to someone's twitter and see a piece of theirs#I *know* I've liked and retweeted and the retweet symbol is marked but not the liked#Thus far I've not lost anything that I'm aware of but I don't trust this at all#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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Lucifer x Fem!Reader - White Party in the Lust Ring
Pairing : Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader (Alastor's sister)
Summary : Being Alastor's little sister can have its perks, but if you're fighting with him it can push you close to certain unexpected people.
Warning : 18+, Smut, oral, creampie, teasing, overstimulation, cunnilingus, daddy issues, daddy kink (shocker), edging, praise kink.
Word count : 5029 words (oml it keeps getting worse)
My hyperfixation on Lucifer is far from over (help) but I have received some requests that all contributed to this smut so I'm sorry that I couldn't reply to one specific request but I would like to thank you all. I hope you all enjoy~
Once again I want to thank @wipmoop for their amazing artwork for the cover! If you wanna check out the uncensored version of the cover, it'll be up on their page soon, they're genuinely awesome, check them out with love ♥
Shlonguru out! o/
~ At the Hazbin Hotel ~
Life was hard being Alastor’s little sister. He might have been very good at protecting you but he made sure your freedom was limited in return. In fact, you weren’t even sure if he protected you because he cared about you or because he was territorial. And he was hard to bargain with. You were living with him amongst others at the Hazbin Hotel and were more than bored during your days until you were offered a job working as Lucifer’s assistant. The only reason Alastor didn’t make a fuss about you working there, despite him absolutely hating Lucifer’s guts, was because Lucifer was powerful enough to make sure you were safe at all times.
This morning, you had just been in a fight. Some of your friends had invited you to a fun night out and Alastor had noticed you packing more than usual on your way to Lucifer’s. He had noticed as he walked by your room.
“Aren’t you packing a little heavy today?” He inquired.
You rolled your eyes already knowing what was coming.
“Yeah, my friends are going out in the Lust Ring tonight, so I packed another outfit and other stuff so I can change before I join them.” You replied.
“The Lust Ring? I don’t think so, dear. Do you want to end up like Angel Dust, with an Overlord owning your soul?” He calmly replied.
“Yeah, you’re right! Which is why I have the perfect solution for that, how about I don’t sell my soul to anyone? That should do it I think.” You stated snarkily, zipping up your bag.
“I’ve already explained to you that it isn’t that simple and that you have more value to the eyes of most people in hell than you seem to realize.” He countered, slightly losing his cool.
“Listen, I’m a fully grown adult, I know how to take care of myself.” You calmly tried to explain.
“You might be a grown adult, but you are not nearly as strong as you would need to be to take care of yourself.” He raised an eyebrow, knowing he had made a good point.
“Huh… So, what do you want me to do exactly? Rot here for the rest of eternity? No, I’m going out.” You started making your way out of the hotel when he snapped his fingers, making your bag teleport next to him.
You angrily walked back and grabbed it again.
“Stop that, will you? I said I’m going out!” You walked away only for him to snap his fingers again, repeating the same process.
You turned around red of anger. “You’re gonna make me late to work!” You shouted.
“You’re lucky I let you work for this minikin at all.” He replied defiantly.
“Fuck you!” You yelled, flipping him the finger and leaving, slamming the hotel’s door behind you and choosing to abandon your bag.
~ At Lucifer’s Tower ~
You got along with your boss really well, you both were very cheerful beings and your personalities just clicked, he had offered you the job of assistant because he was “having a hard time handling all of his important business”. You knew by now that he was actually just working on his ducks so much that he was never able to handle the rest of his business on time. He had also offered you the job when he saw how bored you were at the hotel, that and your common trait of fighting with Alastor almost every time you were in the same room. You enjoyed working for him and he was very grateful to have you.
You arrived at Lucifer’s tower a little late, but it wasn’t unusual for you. Lucifer was busy designing a new duck in his office when he heard you arrive and came to greet you.
“Hello y/n!” How are we doing in this fine morning?” He smiled, always happy to see you.
“Hello Sir, I’m ok.” You replied in an irritated tone, the difference with your usual cheerful self, alarming Lucifer.
“What’s up? You seem like, super down.” He questioned.
“Yeah, I got into a fight with Al.” You replied coldly, removing your coat and hanging it.
“Oh, that bastard, it’s like he can’t start his day if he hasn’t ruined someone else’s.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of Alastor.
“Right? That asshole...” You let out.
“What did he do this time?” He crossed his arms, resting his shoulder against the wall near you.
“My friends are going out tonight in the Lust Ring and they invited me, but he won’t let me go cause he’s afraid I’m gonna end up in danger. Fuck, I can’t do anything. Hell is literally filled with bad people, I can’t just stay locked up forever.” You whined.
“Wait, you frequent the Lust Ring?” He asked curiously. You looked at him and noticed a hint of red on his face.
“I would like to! But he won’t let me!” You moaned. “Why? Is that surprising?” You added.
“No…” He looked away, clearly embarrassed. “I guess I had never seen you under that light before.” He smiled. “But you are a bad bitch, so it’s not too surprising.” He finished.
Lucifer paused, looking away, kind of hesitant.
“What if I accompanied you? That way, he couldn’t say he’s afraid you’d end up in danger, you’d be with the strongest being of Hell~” He offered in a self-assured tone.
“Really? You’d do that?” Your eyes sparkled at the offer.
“Sure! it’s been a while since I came by and said hi to Ozzie anyways.” He chuckled.
You paused for a second and remembered you had left without your bag.
“I left all of my clothes and stuff at the hotel though.” You sighed.
“I’ll get someone to go get your stuff for you, how does that sound?” He smiled.
“You’re the best!” You cheered excitedly hugging him. He smiled and hugged you back.
“Is there a theme to this party?” He asked.
“It’s a white party.” You smiled.
“Not very surprising of the Lust Ring if you ask me.” He stated.
You nodded and proceeded with your day, your mood back its usual merry self.
By the end of the day, you had gotten your bag back and had gotten ready at Lucifer’s place.
He was waiting in his living room for you to finish getting ready in the guest room. The blonde demon was wearing an all-white suit made perfectly for him.
He saw you come out of the room and looked like he had stopped breathing.
You were wearing a white dress that was perfectly balanced between cute and sexy, the contrast with your crimson mane was sumptuous. You had done your make-up for the party, a black smokey, making your usually ethereal ruby eyes look fierce.
“You like it?” You smiled, showing off your outfit.
“Oh damn…” He wiped his forehead, looking warm as he ventilated himself with his hand as he stood up. “You’re hot!” He blurted, catching himself and putting his hand over his mouth. “I mean, not that you usually aren’t, trust me I love your work outfits, you look very preppy it’s great, but you look, I mean, sexy!” He looked embarrassed at how surprised he was.
“Thank you?” You questioned. “Indeed, I wouldn’t wear that to work.” You chuckled. “It wouldn’t be very convenient don’t you think?” You teased, walking up to him. You were close in height, but you still won by a few inches.
“Right! Oh lord land me strength…” He muttered to himself.
“What was that?” You asked.
“Nothing! Let’s go!” He handed you his arm and you left together for the party.
~ At the White Party ~
You arrived at the party, it was huge, everything was screaming lust, and the whole venue was gorgeous. As you walked in, Lucifer spotted Asmodeus, with whom he had fun reconnecting with Asmodeus and even introduced the two of you.
“And this is y/n!” He introduced you after chatting for a while.
“Oh, is this your girl?” Ozzie asked boldly.
You unintentionally blushed and smiled to hide it.
“No…” He replied much more flushed than you. “She’s my assistant.” He added.
“You mean your assistant in bed, right? Cause you two got that chemistry if you know what I mean, it’s like, hard not to notice.” Ozzie continued, noticing how awkward you had both become, making him smirk.
“Stop it Ozzie! I told you it’s not like that.” Added Lucifer seriously before turning to you awkwardly. “Sorry about that y/n.”
“Yeah okay, Luci, then welcome to the Lust Ring to you and your totally-just-platonic-friend then.” He smiled mischievously before leading you to your VIP zone with your group of friends.
You and your friends enjoyed the party, and so did Lucifer. You danced with him, drank with him, in fact, you were all feeling tipsy and at this point acted much more casual with him than you thought possible, though he still made sure you didn’t go overboard. In fact, he had had way more than you but looked completely unaffected, however. You had noticed you two were getting closer and closer as the night went on. You enjoyed grinding against him and he enjoyed it just as much, as well as showing off his own dance moves. And after a few hours, you both sat down at your booth.
“Wow Luci! Thank you so much for tonight you sure know how to party!” You thanked him.
“Thanks! It’s been a while, but it seems like you don’t forget good habits.” He smiled.
“I can’t believe my dickhead of a brother would keep me from experiencing all of this.”
“I mean he sure is a dickhead, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s fair that he doesn’t want anything bad happening to you.” He replied calmly.
“Well, I guess it depends on what you consider a bad thing?” You smiled teasingly at him.
“What do you mean?” He asked tilting his head slightly.
“Let’s just say I’m sure there are things he wouldn’t want happening to me that I wouldn’t consider bad in the slightest.” You looked at Lucifer intently getting a little closer.
“Oh yeah?” He said a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. “Such as what?” He leaned towards you slightly raising an eyebrow.
You took your opportunity and leaned in, pressing your lips against his, surprising him slightly but he immediately reciprocated, running his fingers through your hair. He pulled you slightly closer to him and you rested your hands against his chest. After a moment he started kissing you deeper, getting greedier by the seconds. He placed a hand on your cheek, and you felt his tongue slide in your mouth and your whole body became warm from the inside. You shared this deep kiss for what felt like hours but had probably been minutes before you slowly pulled away, your half-lidded eyes looking at Lucifer with nothing but lust.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, or I won’t be able to restrain myself.” He said looking back at you, gently holding your chin up, looking as lustful as you did.
You laid your hand on his thigh, squeezing it softly and earning a groan from him.
“Are you sure that’s what you want y/n?” He asked one last time. “Our relationship might never be the same.”
You looked him dead in the eyes. “Fuck our old relationship.” You smiled.
He smiled back. “Alright, then.”
And with that he deployed his six wings and took off, surprising you and holding you princess style. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck and looked at him, you could tell from the serious and determined look on his face that he meant business.
You started kissing and sucking on his neck, making him shudder lightly.
“Hold on y/n, I’m going as fast as I can, but if you distract me, it’s only going to take longer.” He pleaded.
“I’m just trying to keep myself busy…” You whispered, licking his earlobe, making his flight pattern weaker.
“Okay, enjoy yourself, I’ll make sure to not restrain myself later…” He added, still looking ahead.
“I would hate it if you did.” You countered, reaching down, and placing your hand on his crotch. His pants were as tight as they could get and what was underneath was throbbing. He immediately stopped mid-flight, making you yelp in surprise.
“Now you’ve done it y/n.” He changed positions, wrapping your legs around him, pressing his crotch against yours and moving his hands to your ass. He proceeded to kiss you deeply, moaning softly as he felt your soft lips against his. You melted into the kiss, feeling how wet your own crotch had gotten already. He pulled out after a moment and looked deep into your eyes, you could see the desire burning in his eyes, though he managed to keep himself more composed than you.
“As much as I’d love to display such an amazing show to all of Hell, it is not really my style.” He smiled. “So, you’re going to be a good girl and behave so I can get us where we need to be.” He looked at you seriously.
You nodded.
“Good.” He smiled, before going ahead and moving you back to princess style as he continued forward.
~ Back at Lucifer's Tower ~
It was hard, but you had managed to keep your hands to yourself for the remaining 2 minutes of the flight.
Lucifer landed through his huge panoramic windows that were left open into his bedroom at the top of his tower.
You had never been into his personal bedroom, mostly just his office, but it was beautiful. The red theme was very elegant, and his Caesar size bed looked incredibly comfortable. You walked inside amazed at how luxurious everything looked.
“Y/n?” You heard from behind you.
You turned around only to be faced with Lucifer’s glowing figure, lit from behind by the moonlight. He had a plotting look on his face, a devilish smile perfectly formed on his confident face. He was calmly walking towards you, rolling up his sleeves.
“I hope you had fun with your little mid-flight teasing…” He fake-chuckled then sighed. “…because it’s time to take responsibility.” The smile was still there but his expression was much more serious.
You didn’t move, you just waited for him to walk up to you. When he reached you, he grabbed your face with both hands, kissing you softly at first. You kissed him back, but the kiss quickly turned into a much more heated one. You kept kissing as you stepped towards his bed, you removed his jacket from him, and he unzipped your dress as he approached the bed.
Your dress fell to the ground, exposing your white laced lingerie. As soon as your dress hit the ground you had found yourself with your legs wrapped around his hips once more, his hands holding you up effortlessly as you made out. You reached the bed, and he laid you on it. He took a good look at your figure, your expression, your curves, your hair.
“Stunning.” He whispered.
“You’re not bad yourself.” You smiled.
“Thanks!” He exclaimed, removing his shirt and exposing his fit figure. You stared just long enough for him to start smirking at you. “Are you okay?”
“Nope.” You answered truthfully.
He giggled.
“You’re funny, now get ready.”
You hadn’t had time to realize what he meant when you felt your thighs get lifted and spread with enough force to surprise you. You didn’t have time to vocally question what was happening that you felt your panties being pushed to the side and Lucifer give a slow lick to all of your womanhood, making you moan louder than you were comfortable with. You rapidly pressed your hands on your mouth. As soon as you had done so you heard him.
“Nuh huh~” He hummed.
“What?” You questioned looking down at Lucifer buried between your thighs, though not doing anything to you anymore.
“Remove those hands and let me hear it.” He looked playful and serious.
You slowly removed your hands, and he immediately went back to his business, licking you thoroughly, you could tell not only did he know what he was doing but he was also greatly enjoying himself while doing so. It was like he could feel your pleasure, giving him the ability to always adjust perfectly. You felt his tongue enter you and go deeper than you thought possible. Your moans were getting louder, he knew what spots were the most sensitive, and he teased them, building your pleasure. He loved the control he had over how you were feeling, he ate you out as tenderly and as roughly as you needed to turn you into a moaning mess, grabbing at the sheets. Every time he felt you get closer, he started teasing another spot, building your frustration alongside your pleasure. It drove you insane and soon enough you found yourself pleading with him to let you come.
“Luci please!” You implored.
“Yes, what is it love?” He asked innocently, playing coy.
“Come on please, stop teasing me.” You pleaded.
“I wanna hear you say it.” He smiled, enjoying the situation to the fullest. “What do you want me to do?” He added.
“Luci please let me come!” You begged; any ounce of pride you had having left your body at this point.
Lucifer got visibly aroused at those words, his eyes turning red for an instant as he went back at it, passionately eating you out and making you come the next moment, unleashing all your pent-up pleasure as your back arched into the leg-shaking orgasm. You moaned his name loudly as you melted into the mattress. You could feel him smile as he finished enjoying you.
You were catching your breath and recovering as Lucifer started kissing up your body, your stomach, chest then neck. That’s when you heard him speak softly.
“That’s for teasing me.” He looked into your eyes before landing a soft kiss on your lips.
You were too astounded to talk back.
At this point his crotch was pressing against yours and he looked more excited than ever.
“Good start now let’s get a little more serious.” He grinned before flipping the both of you making you straddle him as he laid back. You realized at this moment just how much he had planned for you tonight.
“Hmm…we won’t need that.” He snapped his finger making any remnants of clothes either of you wore vanish, exposing your breasts to him for the first time. His eyes devoured you as you felt a false sense of control back. You rested your hands on his chest, pressing your breasts together.
“Is everything okay?” You asked with a teasing tone.
“Nope.” He replied, realizing what you were doing. You grabbed his hand and pressed it against your breast.
“Want some of that, Daddy?” You sneered.
He squeezed your breast in a way that sent jolt in all your body, letting a moan escape your mouth, you face immediately flushing.
“Oh, what was that?” He smirked then proceeded to fondle your breasts again, making you feel weak as you moaned.
“I don’t understand how you do this!” You whined.
“Do what?” He said as he did it again, sending jolts up your body.
“You’re not using dirty tricks on me, are you?” You asked skeptically.
He looked at you and laughed audibly, before composing himself and propping himself up with one hand, placing his mouth next to your ear.
“No y/n, I’m just that good.” He declared confidently. Your face went crimson as you felt embarrassed and tried to hold your moans in as he continued teasing your now rock-hard nipple.
“I mean, besides the fact that I’m pretty confident in my own skill, that must surely mean that we are particularly compatible, don’t you think?” He asked nonchalantly.
You nodded, trying your best not to get lost in the pleasure this tease was inflicting upon you.
Your eyes widened lightly as you realized that your clothes having now been removed from the equation, your private parts were now directly in contact, you used that to your advantage and softly grinded against his shaft, earning a loud moan from him, surprising the both of you.
“I guess you’re right.” You smiled from the corner of your mouth.
He grinned lightly blushing before grabbing your waist and flipping you around as if you were a feather. You were still on top of him but you had now found yourself in a 69, your crotch inches from his face and his throbbing member right in front of you. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was proud of it.
You didn’t want to give him time to take control, so you grabbed the base of his shaft and took his tip in your mouth. You heard him groan as you swirled your tongue around it before giving his cock a hungry lick from the bottom up.
“Easy there, we have all night.” He cheerfully declared, panting softly.
You ignored him and kept enjoying yourself, savoring him like a lollipop.
“I see how it’s- gonna be.” He exclaimed; you could feel him struggling to fake his composure.
In one movement he pulled you even closer to his face and spread your pussy before passionately starting to eat you out again. You quickly felt weak, you pulled his cock out of your mouth, letting a long moan escape as a trail of saliva still linked your mouth to his head.
“Take it easy, I wouldn’t want you to choke~” He taunted.
“Don’t worry about me, this is nothing.” You replied with conviction.
You proceeded to lower your mouth on his cock all the way to the base, his whole member tickling more than the entrance of your throat.
“Oh god-“You had taken him by surprise, forcing an intense moan out of him, as he gripped the sheets tightly, pausing his own activity.
“Oh dear, you might wanna slow down a little.” He gasped.
You had him and you knew it, you moved in swift motions, your tongue wrapped around his shaft, hitting all the way down each time as you felt his body contract and his dick pulsate more and more.
“Holy shit y/n wait, I’m gonna- “He moaned as you felt his cum explode your mouth. This surprised you as you had been so focused on getting back at him, but you swallowed everything. Enjoying every bit of it, sucking him dry, or so you thought.
You finished swallowing and peeked at him, his head laying on the mattress as he caught his breath. He noticed you and grinned through his panting. “Nice play Y/n, impressive even, I hope you had fun.”
“I very much did, thank you.” You replied cheekily.
“Cause now it’s my turn.” He announced. You immediately felt two fingers enter your hole. He voluntarily pressed hard against your G-spot, the sensation so intense you screamed in pleasure. He grabbed your thigh tightly with one hand and fingered you relentlessly with the other. The pleasure overwhelming as you helplessly melted into it.
“Luci…please-“ You attempted but were cut.
“I don’t wanna hear it.” He continued. You grabbed his thigh tightly as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge.
“Come on go ahead, come for me.” He groaned, his calm and sarcastic demeanor replaced progressively by a heated passion. You tried your best to resist but it was pointless. You turned around, catching a glimpse of him, and were caught off guard, witnessing his horns out and his eyes red while he looked like he was intensely enjoying himself. He pulled out his fingers and proceeded to eat you with all his might, his tongue hitting your spot just right to make you climax against his mouth as he savored all of it.
He finished enjoying himself while you recuperated from it all. When you peeked at him again, he had gone back to his usual self.
“Do you often get all red and…horny, I guess?” You asked.
He flipped you around, pressing you against his chest, face to face.
“What was that? Oh, you mean my horns and stuff? Only when I get heated. Do you not like it? Cause I can try to tone it down.” He asked, a worried look on his face.
“No, I like that I get you heated…” You looked away, a light blush appearing on your cheeks.
He smiled softly. He cupped your face then kissed you tenderly.
“You do have that effect on me.”
You felt his member back to its throbbing state. You kissed him deeply yet delicately before looking at him seductively.
“Luci, time for the main course don’t you think?” You rubbed your soaked entrance against his hard member. “I’m at my limit.” You begged.
Having witnessed his previous reactions, you weren’t surprised when you felt his member grow even bigger after you had pronounced those words.
“Good because I’m also reaching my limit.” He answered.
You felt his tip press against your entrance and slide all the way in as you both melted into each other, a deep sigh of relief escaping your mouths.
“Holy-…you feel so good.” He groaned. He sat up, setting you both in a lotus position before resting his hands on your hips and starting to thrust. The pleasure felt so visceral you both moved cautiously as if trying to not come too fast, but without noticing, you both picked up the pace, panting and moaning filling the air. Your hands were gripping his shoulders tightly as you rocked your hips. One of his hands had migrated to your ass, squeezing your cheek tightly and the other was fondling your breast. You cupped his face and kissed him deeply, playing with his tongue as you felt his member twitch inside of you. You ran your fingers through his hair while kissing him and noticed him moan more as you did so.
Soon, the position wasn’t allowing him to move as freely as he desired and he was now standing on his knees, holding both of your ass cheeks tightly as he pounded into you. You were panting heavily as you felt it coming once again.
“Coming already?” He teased, his own panting giving away how he also felt.
You nodded no, not very convincingly. He took that as a challenge and precisely hit your G-spot repeatedly until you came, whimpering and your grip weakening.
“Good thing you’re not coming dear.” He kissed your neck, slightly sucking on it leaving a hickey.
This position had become too much for you, so he laid you flat on your stomach.
“You’re hanging there Y/n?” He asked eagerly.
“Of course!” You replied enthusiastically, it felt like your stamina was bottomless for all this pleasure.
“Good.” He replied. You felt him enter you again hungrily from behind, his body hovering over yours as he held both of your wrists, pinning them down onto the bed. Each thrust forcing a louder moan out of you. It was like the more he fucked you, the easier it became for him to make you come. His moans had also become deeper as he kept thrusting, your own increasing tightness making it harder for him. He moved his hands to your hips and dug his nails into you, allowing him a better control as he thrusted even deeper than before. You held the sheets tightly as you tried your best to match his movements, both feeding off each other’s building pleasure.
“Y/n.” You heard from behind.
You tried turning around to tell him you felt yourself getting closer when you felt his lips roughly take yours. He could’ve sent you over the edge with that kiss alone, but he also thrusted deeper than he ever had at the same time, you could only lean into the kiss as you felt the two of you come simultaneously.
As soon as the wave had finished washing over you, you collapsed on the bed, and he collapsed on top of you. He quickly caught himself though, rolling next to you and pulling you into his arms. You both relaxed for a moment, holding each other.
“Oh, my lord, that was amazing!” You heard him speak first. You turned to him, and he was smiling at you.
“It really was.” You calmly replied.
“I told you I was confident in my skill.” He smiled turning from tender to confident as he traced his finger over your body.
“I guess it was alright.” You declared.
The silence following made you look up, only to be met with a devastated look on his face.
“I’m joking!” You added, feeling bad about your joke.
“Ah! I knew that!” He fake-laughed awkwardly trying to look confident. You laughed at how cute he looked.
You pecked his lips.
You cuddled for a while before you heard a buzzing sound.
“My phone! It must still be in my dress.” You reached your dress, covering yourself with the sheet of the bed, grabbing your phone then heading back to the bed.
You checked your phone and noticed 20 missed calls.
“Huh, fuck him.” You both exclaimed at the same time before staring at each other in surprise and bursting out laughing.
You heard another buzz and was expecting it from your phone, but no new notifications had appeared.
Lucifer grabbed his phone and started laughing nervously.
“What is it?” You inquired.
“That’s, hmm…” He showed you a message that read:
From 'Ozzie 🍆💦' :
I saw you took off early with your totally-just-platonic-friend. How’s the banging? 😏🍑
You stared at it for a second then you both exchanged a look and blinked, before bursting out laughing this time even harder.
~ The End ~
#lucifer smut#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x you#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#alastor#lucifer morningstar x you#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader
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Web of love
─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)
─Summary: you just keep adding lunatics to the list like they're pokemon and you lose patience
─Warnings: mahito (he's a warning himself yeh) blood, death, a little anxiety attack, toxic behaviors, obsession, yandere stuff
Part One / Part Three / Part Four
The blank pages: Part One
I'm done downloading my inspiration on this for now, I feel like this is a little longer, sorryyy 😶
YOU WERE too quick to accept that these sorcerers would do whatever they wanted with you, but in a way, starting a verbal fight to refuse to do certain quests would cause you more problems than solutions, so you were just like a body empty of soul moving back and forth, simply waiting for the next order to complete it as quickly as possible.
The worst thing of all was that it wasn't annoying, at least, not the fact of taking orders, you liked it, you didn't have to think too much, just do this and that, you definitely started to think that all those tests of 'are you a leader or a follower' made sense all those times that your result was being a follower, you wanted an easy life and being a leader of anything is a complete stress that you were not going to go through.
So your simplistic and conformist personality only made it easier for all those sorcerers to mold you to their liking, this does not mean that whenever they asked to spend time with you or simply be attached to you you accepted, they would always have a negative response at first, however if they continued insisting, as may be the case with Itadori and Nobara, you would agree to do what they wanted, because accepting is easier than declining. Megumi and Gojo weren't as persistent in asking for small favors or bonding time, which you appreciated.
"I was looking for you, Maki and I are going to go downtown to look for some cursed weapons, do you want to come?"
Nobara, getting into the bad habit of not knocking on your door and entering without permission, throw herself at your bed grabbing your hand to beg you to go out with her and Maki, knowing that you would refuse she started whining about how you hadn't left your room lately and that she had been very busy with the missions. With no other option you accepted, hoping to be able to get back to what you were doing later in the night.
You thanked the heavens that Maki Zenin was skeptical about your stay at the Jujutsu school, since you did not show any interest in developing cursed techniques or improving physical abilities, she thought that you were not important enough, a shame that Nobara had to drag you with her long enough for Maki to end up getting attached to you, you barely talked to her but for some reason she ended up liking you.
"Come on, we don't have all afternoon."
Maki began to walk waiting for you both to follow her steps, a couple of minutes later the two of them began a light idle chat while you followed behind, only with one of your headphones on in case they spoke to you at some point.
"Be careful, you should stop looking at your phone and look at your surroundings, you are so careless."
The girl with glasses grabbed the back of the collar of your uniform to stop you just before you crossed a red zebra crossing for pedestrians, you watched for a moment as the cars sped by just a few centimeters from you with blank eyes.
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
You shrugged, putting away your phone like a scolded child, Nobara took the liberty of grabbing your hand to guide you the rest of the way, at least you could walk looking absent-mindedly at anything that caught your attention without worrying about tripping.
Disinterested and bored once they started negotiating about the cursed weapons, you decided that you could go out for a few minutes without anyone noticing to the bakery you had seen around the corner, you felt like something sweet, you were going to buy something sweet and no one will stop you. Unfortunately before you could get out of the alley, because of course, a shop like that wasn't going to be visible to everyone, once again a curse clung to you desperately to be forgiven.
"Not now please."
You took a couple of minutes to release the cursed energy of that curse, feeling your eyelids heavier and your body more relaxed, of course your ability had cons, after all what you were doing was consuming cursed energy, your way of releasing it were resting, which led you to sometimes fall asleep even standing up due to exhaustion.
Your slight drowsiness disappeared when you heard the sewer besides you sliding with a squeak, a strange mass began to come out until it formed a guy who looked like a sewn doll, his bicolor eyes looked into your soul.
"That was very interesting, where is that curse? Did you absorb it? Did you kill it?"
Your parents had taught you that you shouldn't talk to strangers, especially if they seemed like lunatics who could deform and come out of random sewers, and like a good mom and dad's girl, you looked away, backing away to exit through the other side of the alley, but he managed to grab your wrist so you wouldn't run away.
"It's rude to ignore someone when they speak, you know?"
You frowned looking at his hand on you, remaining silent, you let out an inaudible sigh, you always had to end up in this type of situation, tangled with people ─in this case curses─ that trapped you without wanting to let go.
"I sent it to rot in hell, its soul will remain suffering until eternity, remembering and regretting all the evils it has caused, it will be subjected to the worst tortures imaginable."
He remained silent before bursting into laughter, you had said all that so seriously, with that grim face that he almost believed it, you hoped that trying to 'scare' him would work, but this curse had at least a couple more neurons than the ones you used to meet.
"Aren't you funny? It's a shame I have to kill you, I thought we could be friends but you're-"
The ground began to shake, almost losing your balance, you took advantage of the sudden distraction to free yourself from Mahito's grip, approaching the nearest wall so as not to fall due to the tremors, the sewer flew away and you could see how the curse paled, transforming again to escape.
"How many hours have I lost in this chase?"
A new voice came out of nowhere, turning around you saw a blonde man with glasses, he was wearing a uniform and had a blood stained weapon in one of his hands, you looked at each other in silence until he spoke again.
"A student… hey, have you seen that curse? Where did he flee?"
Figuring he was trustworthy enough since he seemed to recognize the Jujutsu high, you silently pointed in the direction Mahito left, earning a nod from him to leave you there alone again. As if that weren't enough, before you could leave the alley to get some sweet, you ran into another curse, this one looked like a volcano with only one eye, it was petting a stray cat while muttering things like 'you're a good boy' in a squeaky voice, you were going to turn around to make this less awkward but your bones had to make that weird sound sometimes when you walk.
His one eye widened at the sight of you, a small rash erupting from his head and he shot up at the speed of light.
"I'll pretend I haven't seen anything if you pretend you haven't seen me."
You decided to reach a mutual agreement because you heard Nobara shout your name, surely they had finished their purchase or had been alerted by the noise earlier, and if they found you now they would surely distract you enough that you wouldn't be able to buy your candy. You took enough time to complete your little mission, as just as you left the bakery you were approached by the red-haired girl who hugged you like a whimpering koala.
"You can't disappear like that out of nowhere! We heard a shaking and thought something bad had happened to you."
She rubbed her cheek against your shoulder, you murmured apologies while still savoring your sweet, Maki remained silent watching the interaction, carefully searching for any kind of scratch or wound on your body, she sighed in relief when she saw that you didn't seem to have anything.
"We have already spent a lot of time here, we should go back, Toge and Panda are waiting for us for our training."
The encounter with these two curses, Mahito and Jogo, was only a small trigger that led you to strangely meet them more times later, you were never close of course, but your eyes always seemed to meet the multicolored or the single eye of those guys in some bustling part of the city, you knew they had some plan with Itadori, but it's not like you could do anything, you just alerted Gojo and he thanked you with a few pats on the head for the information.
On the other hand, you became a recurring conversation on the side of the villains, for one reason or another, everyone got to know you, either because Mahito was talking about you or because you had an encounter with Geto or Choso, not knowing them, you felt strange when you exchanged glances with them because you felt the same as when you first met the trio of sorceres, they already knew you before you knew anything about them.
Their curiosity about you was only based on overprotectiveness and how obsessed the sorcerers were with you, you seemed to be an important person, was it because of your power? Was it because of your cursed technique? It was something they wanted to find out and anyway if it was nothing like that, they could always use you as a wild card to blackmail them.
You decided to ignore their presence while you worked on your assignments, assignments in which you got to know that blonde guy, Nanami, he was assigned with you for a couple of missions and at first he felt quite irritated by your carefree behavior and even annoyed by your lack of interest in the work, but he couldn't blame you, in his eyes, like Itadori, you were just a teenager who shouldn't be doing this kind of work. He proposed to himself that no student was going to die under his care, especially someone who was never in favor of being part of the cursed world.
You just kept adding people who were worried or interested in you to the list, and you thought that there was no one else who could feel that way, that you could finally breathe easy, that you could stop moving through that web that kept you captive, that you could snuggling in your sheets protecting yourself from the cold while you hugged a pillow and slept carefree.
And… out of nowhere you wake up with a wet cheek, an eternal sea of blood where you could float, in the distance a temple made up of different animal and human bones. Your eyes became slightly watery, your only moment of rest ruined by whatever was happening, you were upset, furious, maybe it was the first time since you left home you felt an emotion this strong and vivid.
"This has to be a fucking joke…"
You mumble walking towards the temple hoping to find some kind of answer to get out of there, you wanted your hours of sleep back, you wanted to disconnect your brain from reality and travel to your dreams seeking solace outside of this world, not to be trapped in this stupid place.
"This is unusual, how did you manage to get here, brat?"
You rubbed your face furiously, of course you had heard about Sukuna, how Itadori swallowed a fucking finger, but luckily you didn't have any encounter with the king of curses, until now. Again it seemed like he already knew you, but how could he not? You occupied more than half of Itadori's thoughts.
"That's what I would like to know, is this your domain? Get me out of here."
"I can't."
You couldn't contain the irritated grimace you made, this time your expressionlessness broke as well as your patience, a small twitch appeared in your eye and you began to breathe harder, you rubbed your head too hard, perhaps tearing out a few strands in the process, but you didn't care, you exploded after putting up with so much shit.
"Tell me it's a joke, you're the king of curses, not the king of comedians, get me out of here."
Your tone of voice stopped being monotonous, now radiating annoyance and demand that made Sukuna smile at your outburst, he had always heard Itadori complain about how unexpressive you were with them and now you are exploiting a lot of negative emotions.
"Well, I can do that, but for that I would have to kill you."
"Do it." you didn't take a second or hesitate to respond, almost surprising the man, who watched you in silence as you approached him, your frown more with every step you took "What the hell are you waiting for? Do it, kill me."
Sukuna had seen many people begging him, begging for lives, begging to end suffering, it wasn't even the first time they had begged him for a death, but this felt… strange, he had never seen someone so young desperate to die, he had never seen someone have the anxiety attack you were experiencing right now, and strangely he had never felt the kind of energy you gave off, it was somewhat reassuring. He began to understand all the macabre thoughts about you in Itadori's thoughts, all that overprotection and worry, or perhaps, he had gone crazy, becoming infected because of the human in which he was locked up.
"Mmmh, I can do it, but you will only wake up, if you have managed to get here without trying, you will surely come back when you try to sleep again, but it is only a theory, since you have never been here before."
"In that case I'll think of something, but let me wake up."
"Ok"
He shrugged with disinterest, you didn't even feel how his fist lodged in your abdomen, your body staggered towards his, while he held you with one of his arms, the other pulled out your heart that continued pumping blood, you looked in disgust as he seemed to enjoy watching the blood splash across his face.
"Son of a bitch with a fetish for dishearten people…"
It was the only thing you said before your body faded away, immediately waking up in your bed with labored breathing, you placed your hands on your heart, checking that it was still in place, beating rapidly from the agitation. That specific night you couldn't sleep, because by doing so you returned to Sukuna's domain, or to Itadori's mind, the problem was rooted in the fact that that specific day Itadori was much more worried about you than usual, generating a certain connection that interfered with his and your dreams, the middle ground being Sukuna's domain.
Now you couldn't even go to sleep thinking about having a good dream, because depending on the night you would end up stuck with the king of curses, another person added to the list, would this be some kind of divine punishment? You just want to run to your parents and hug them with all your might, for them to tell you that everything will be okay and that you are a good daughter, for the moment you will settle for hugging your cold pillow in search of comfort while three pairs of eyes watch as your emotions slowly deteriorates.
They would make sure to be the arms that keep you warm, to be the people you turn to in these types of situations, you shouldn't be sad, you are much better off here, more protected and safe.
"Good night darling, have sweet dreams."
Gojo, having shooed the other three students away from you, entered your room, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks, he stroked your hair for a few seconds before brushing away a few strands and kissing your forehead. He hadn't had the chance to prove that he was capable of being a good father in Megumi's eyes, but he could be to you, it's a shame that you still cling to your parents as role models when he was there, he would be a better father figure, just wait.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x fem reader#yandere platonic jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x platonic reader#sfw#x reader#fem reader#reader insert#yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x fem reader#platonic yandere x reader#gojo satoru#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#megumi fushiguro#sukuna ryomen#nanami kento#maki zenin#web of love#web of love jjk
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I unfortunately saw something I didn't want to see and that was my last straw. I'm fucking doing this.
Let's establish this first. Alastor is stated in the show to be asexual that is not up to discussion. He is also very heavily implied in the same conversation to be aromatic. 'An Ace in the hole' being used in context of him being with Charlie is also implying his aromanticism.
VIDEO
If that's not enough then here is Viv speaking about his romantic orientation. It's pretty clear despite the fact that afterwards she said it's okay to headcanon whatever (it's not but I will get o that later) that he is written purely as an aro ace character.
On top of that going by Alastor's interaction with Angel from the pilot and the first episode it is clear that he is sex repulsed. Not only that but on the fandom website he is stated to be touch averse with two sources which you can check out on the website.
Hazbin hotel wiki, Alastor page
Now we established that Alastor is canonically Asexual, Aromantic, Sex Repulsed and Touch Averse
As I also am all of the above I'll try to explain everything to the best of my ability as simply as I can.
Aromanticism and Asexuality.
I'm probably targeting the audience that knows those terms but regardless I will explain it anyway.
Aromantic - people that experience little to no romantic attraction towards any gender
Asexual - people that experience little to no sexual attraction towards any gender.
Little to no
Asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums in which people can feel certain attractions towards people but those attractions are less occurring or are defined by personal connection.
Diagram from AVEN website
However some people are at the end of the spectrum, they never felt attraction and that's valid. Alastor was stated to be aroace he wasn't written as demi or as gray he was written as aroace as in the end of the spectrum. His repulsion and not giving shit about romance or sex speaks for itself.
Representation
I do understand that everyone wants to be represented but it's so important to understand that aroace people are one of the most underrepresented queer groups in the media.
And I'm not here to scream about how I want my fav character to be just like me I don't care for it I'm way too confident in my orientation to rely on that however I'm tired of explaining to people what asexuality and aromanticism is just to receive 'are you sure' or 'you'll change your mind' or 'its not real' or the community favourite 'you'll find the right person' no I won't I'm not looking thank you very much (I just smile and nod to be polite and I'm sick of it).
'Harmless' buts like: 'He might be on the spectrum', 'AroAce people can still feel attraction' hurt the final outcome for all the people on the spectrum not only strictly aroaces because it allows people to write one shots with 'Demi Alastor' that falls in love in 2000 words because he is 'demi' (spoiler alert: they don't understand what that label means). It's just a cover, an opening, sneaky way to disregard his orientation, feel good about themselves and move on. Newsflash there is no moving on for aroace people it's our life.
Shipping
Shipping is just harmless fun right? Usually yes but not in this case. In the same way its not okay to ship gay characters with genders they are not attracted to.
It's erasure and since there is much less people identifying on aro/ace spectrums then there is gay or bi people our voices are being silenced. Not to mention that gay people received support from entire LGBTQIA+ community over the years in contrast to aro/ace specs who to this day are told that we are 'not queer enough' or 'not oppressed enough' often by other queer people.
And finally... FINALLY we get cannon Aro/Ace character that is clearly not interested in romance and sex. Character that beats stereotypes of boring and timid aro/ace people and what's the first people do? They ship him. Alastor's storyline provides so many points to be explored like 'what is his backstory', ' what's about his deal', ' how does he fit in in the found family trope' , 'does he care about hotel guests' yet people choose to write about the only thing that he is not interested in. As a heavily repulsed person that used to be horrified about the fact that I'll have to fall in love with somebody at some point before I found out what aro/ace is I find it repulsive and trust me he would too.
But Viv said it's okay!
Its the same point once again. What if Viv said that it's okay to ship gay Angel with woman. She doesn't have authority to say shit like that.
Queerplatonic relationships
I can't tell you not to do it I don't think he would be necessary interested in it but for fuck sake do your research and try to understand what queerplatonic means before you use it as a cover to shamelessly ship him. Respect the fact that he is sex repulsed and touch averse and you're fine.
Why can't you just avoid it?
First of all I shouldn't have to. Alastor's orientation should be respected in the fandom like any other orientation is. Second of all I've tried. I tried to only look up AroAce Alastor tag I've blocked over 80 people on tumblr alone (I just counted) to avoid to see anything that could trigger me and I'm not talking about slightly shippy posts or fanarts I'm talking about full blown disregard towards his orientation. Guess what it didn't work!
Archive of our own where do I start. I've used this website for over a decade and I could probably count days I didn't go there on my fingers. I'm fluent in AO3 I know which tags I should block. I know how to skim thorough the summary and tags to see if I'm interested. I've seen shit I'm a shipper I've been on ao3 for ten years but never had to mentally prepare myself to face queerphobia as I click on the tab.
Just use aro/ace Alastor tag.
I do and let me tell you people can't tag for shit or they just pretend to be clueless at this point. Besides see this?
there is more ff with Alastor/reader (disgusting) than there is Alastor with his canon orientation and to play the devils advocate for arophobic people there is more Angel/Alastor then his stated in the show sexuality. I understand that fandom goes back before the show was aired but Viv confirmed his orientation back then too.
Summary
I could go on and on bout different issues and maybe I will in the future but I'm not wasting anymore of this weekend on it. I'm ready to answer any questions as long as they are respectful.
I'm aware that he is a fictional character, it doesn't affect him in any way whatsoever but it does affect aromantic and asexual people keep it in mind.
If there are any mistakes grammar related I'm not sorry I'm fluent in English (not my first language) but I took 3h nap in between and I'm sleep deprived.
Have a nice day.
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please more evil ford please i stare with my puppy eyes for this i am obbsessed
Yeah all right, I've been working on some art. (For context, we're talking about this Evil Ford.)
Evil Ford is Evil as in "cheerfully works with Bill even after learning his full plot" and "is totally ready to conquer and/or destroy the world." But other than the shocking lack of basic ethics and the supervillain objective he's mostly the same guy—which means he still cares about his family. He's hoping to get them to join in on the world conquest plan.
Forty-odd years ago he went off to college promising someday he'd be a big shot scientist who changes the world and he'd make his family a fortune. If taking over reality doesn't qualify he doesn't know what does. The family can join him and his buddy Bill and rule the universe together. Pines Pines Pines Pines!
Unfortunately for him, the rest of the family still has normal moral compasses. And also they've met Bill.
Bill can't currently possess Ford due to Reasons; but even though he can't get in the driver's seat he still has permission to ride shotgun at any time. Ford talks to him pretty regularly. He HAS been caught doing this. Stan thinks he's just gone a little nutty from thirty years of isolation.
Naturally, since he was always on Bill's side, Ford's perception of events during Weirdmageddon is a bit different:
I finally made an official Evil Ford New Costume Character Design, check out his exciting totally different brand new look:
I decided that, since Ford is still basically the same person aside from his terrible life goals, he'd probably have the same fashion sense. And so... nothing changes except two tiny details lmao.
But he DOES have tattoos:
I traced a canon character model and took off its top to get a base to slap tattoos on, and then went dang... they gave him a big head and arms. He looks goofy. Anyway,
His forearms have less incriminating tattoos—just a birch tree and a sunrise. (The sunrise looks like the Journal 3 "The Muse Has Spoken" page.) The red text is the "triangulum entangulum" ritual; if anyone asks he'll go "it's uhh an ancient Sumerian poem about how great science is." It's not until he's topless that it's like "oh so he's a CULTIST cultist." The one exception is an unconcealed Eye of Providence on his right palm—but it's in an ink that's only visible in certain lighting. It's there so at any time he can point his hand at something and go "Bill are you seeing this BS?"
Of course, he still has the "hey now, you're an all star" neck tattoo. I didn't have room to draw it.
As you can see, he's made being Bill's right hand man a core part of his personality. Rather than spending 30 years scrabbling around the multiverse desperately searching for a way to destroy Bill, he spent 30 years chilling in the Quadrangle of Qonfusion as Bill's specialest favoritest Henchmaniac, and only scrabbling around the multiverse occasionally for fun & profit.
Here's a photo Bill & Ford took at a Nightmare Realm house party like fifteen years ago, three minutes before Bill started an argument and set the house on fire.
Most people have their wild party years in college, Ford has his in his 40s.
#stanford pines#grunkle ford#bill cipher#(he's in enough pictures; he's worth tagging too)#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#evil ford au#my art
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Opposites Attract
Kyra Cooney-Cross x reader
-> Kyra joins Arsenal and is intrigued by their young, quiet midfielder
➳ Masterlist
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
The transfer window of the WSL was coming to a close, but that didn’t necessarily mean that everything was set in stone. It was Ian Wright who set the project “KCC to Arsenal” in motion – the people who had to do most of the work however were Steph Catley and Caitlin Foord.
It was their job to convince their fellow Aussie to join them in London. The youngster didn’t need much to be convinced, she was however interested in her new teammates, begging Steph and Cait for introductions.
She obviously knew most of the team already from watching them play the previous seasons and from stories but Steph obliged, while Caitlin excused herself. By this point they had gotten through most of the team, even the new signings when they came to the most important section, according to Kyra – the people her age.
“And then we have the younger ones – obviously the iconic duo of Gio and Katherine. They keep to themselves a lot though, and I am sure you noticed that neither got a lot of game time last season.” Kyra did in fact know that, already having done some of her own research. Gio’s TikTok page looked like she hung out with the blonde Danish girl a good bit.
“Teyah is the youngest, currently in recovery though.” Arsenal had its fair share of people going through rehab, among them Teyah Goldie, Beth Mead, Vivianne Miedema, Leah Williamson, and Laura Wienroither.
“Second youngest is y/n. Keeps to herself a lot, is quiet, and loves her books. Tends to be a little awkward at first.” The young Australian was curious now, she had seen you play - a fellow midfielder - but no matter how hard she tried, there was barely any social media content of you. Your personal account has just one picture with just you in it, which is the signing picture.
“Very close to Kim and Jordan before she left. The nicest girl I know.”
Kyra wanted to know just about everything, being incredibly interested in the mystery that was you.
Her signing was announced on the 15th of September – deadline day. You, like most of the Arsenal players, were in Germany at the Adidas Headquarters in Herzogenaurach – It was nice to be home again. During lunch, sitting beside Kimi you were nose-deep in your newest book when Caitlin and Steph burst onto the outdoor terrace “It’s official! Kyra is coming to Arsenal!” And just like that everybody was excited to meet the young midfielder everyone had heard so much about already.
Upon returning to London everyone met Kyra, who was already on the training pitch, waiting for her new teammates to arrive. Most of the younger girls immediately liked her, starting to joke around – and while the young Australian was incredibly stoked to meet you, she remembered Steph’s words ‘shy and awkward’.
“Hi! I’m Kyra!” You sat next to the pitch, ignoring the break that was usually meant for drinks and reading instead. Your book was always next to the various bottles – Alessia had already tripped over it twice in her time at Arsenal.
“Hi – nice to meet you.” Your smile was a little crooked and unsure, not certain if the brunette would like to have her hand shaken. Kyra however, excited how she was, pulled you into a quick hug and promptly sat down next to you. She didn’t really say anything, just sat there while you read a few pages of your book – handing you a water bottle when Kim asked if you have had anything to drink yet.
The Scot waited for an answer but you didn’t hear her, too deep into your book. A soft nudge to your shoulder made you look to Kyra, who extended an arm with said bottle “You really should drink something.”
Yeah, the first time the two of you talked was awkward. But the brunette would not give up on you, getting closer to you day by day while getting to know your other teammates as well.
Not even two weeks after her signing Kyra was singing in the gym – loudly. While amusing, the sheer loudness the girl possessed, scared you a little. She and Caitlin were messing around on the ceiling-mounted rings, while Steph stood next to them filming the spectacle. In the background, the fans could see you just blatantly staring at the Aussies when Jen came up to you. “You know that you can just talk to her right?”
Your flinching showed the older footballer just how deeply you were distracted. “I don’t know what you mean.” And with that, you were off – but the Australians had already seen you.
“I think you have a better chance than you think Kyra!” The brunette who had her back turned towards you was confused – “What do you mean?”
It turns out that Kyra was much more relentless than you had thought, roping you into one conversation after the other. She even visited you at home, when you were not expecting her - filling your home with endless talks and many giggles.
The Arsenal woman appreciated how far she was willing to go, knowing that you had tried befriending Gio and Kathrine – but due to your shy and closed nature, they thought that you wanted nothing to do with them.
After Jordan left last season you hadn’t been quite the same – the extrovert to your introvert was missing. Kyra however, gladly took the job without even applying for it. She just showed up and stole it – just like your little heart that seemed to beat out of your chest whenever her hand brushed over your back, or when she kept sending you her most mischievous smile.
While Katie liked to make jokes about your inability to speak whenever the brunette was around, it was she who convinced you to ask Kyra out on a date.
She had been very upfront about her feelings towards you and confessed quite early on, but understood that you weren’t ready for anything at that point in time – So she waited for you to make the first move.
It was at your apartment when you asked her out. Kyra had noticed that you seemed off today, however, she didn’t know what was going on – so she filled the silence with her talking, and talking, and even more talking.
This was weird to her.
When it was just the two of you, you usually couldn’t stop talking either, stumbling over your words. “Okay! That’s enough. What is wrong with you?”
Your big eyes staring at her were enough to send Kyra into a deep state of panic, “It’s just- you seem so off! So I thought tha-“
“Go on a date with me?”
The silence was deafening. And just as you were about to ramble, your face already heating up, Kyra jumped quite literally on top of you, hugging you close to her “Yes! Thought you’d never ask!”
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private study session
i have a shit ton of uni work but is writing smut of this man more important i think so
i live and breathe for asshole malleus y’all don’t even understand that man is a smug bastard
synopsis: your grades have been plummeting. bad. so much so that if you don’t improve, you might have to end up retaking the yearーwhich you definitely don’t want. no matter how hard you study and revise by yourself, nothing seems to stick. that was until you built up the courage to ask your close friend, malleus, if he could tutor you.
warnings: smut/nsfw, degrading, choking, lowkey hate sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex, mating press, reader is afab but no gender or pronouns are explicitly specified
word count: 2.8k
“oh-ho? and what makes you believe that my time will not be wasted?"
“it won’t, i swear! …please, malleus, just this once. i might have to retake the year if i don’t improve.” you shifted your feet nervously, continuing your embarrassing attempt at trying to convince the dragon fae to lend you just a slither of his intelligence. you weren’t one to beg, but at this pointーyou had to. of course, being the only non-magic student to have miraculously enrolled into NRC, it was a given your grades would be subparーbut not to this extent.
"and we certainly don't want that, do we?"
malleus's tone was condescending, apparently relishing the sight of you pleading for his help in front of him. his lips curved into a grin, and he cocked his head to one side. “i mean… that would be unfortunate if you needed to repeat the year. i do enjoy the lessons i have with you, child of man.”
your eyes widened as if he were finally giving in to your wish, like a puppy seeing a treat for the first time. “then? then…!? will you help me, malleus?”
malleus seemed thoughtfully contemplative for a few seconds. you were sure you saw a glimpse of something in his eyes for a single second. something menacing.
“fine. i’ll accept your request, child of man. you’re quite the lucky one, you know? not everyone can say that they’ve had me as their personal tutor.”
personal tutor, huh? it didn’t sound bad when he put it like that.
it was 6 p.m. malleus agreed to assist you back at your own dormーwhich surprised you slightly, but you didn’t mind. if anything, it only meant that evening was about to be spent without any disturbances.
…
it became clear that malleus was going to spend hours tutoring you like he stated he would. you sat pitifully looking at the pages in front of you as he poured information into your ears that amounted to little more than background noise. he was in the seat next to you. his body, though, was stiff. with one leg over the other and his arms crossed, it felt like being lectured about how dumb you are.
maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
but it was probably too late to back out of it now.
snap
“are you ignoring me, child of man?”
as you heard his fingers snap at you, you quickly brought your eyes back into focus to see a face brimming with frustration and irritation.
“were you even paying attention to a single word i said?”
malleus was furious. with a tone laced with something much more than frustration, you knew you messed up big. the words that came out of his mouth only made the hairs on your arms prick up, feeling your mouth get dry as he leaned in close to your face, seeing the rage in his expression ever more clearly.
he was close. too close. you were so uneasy that you were certain he would smite you on the spot if you said something stupid.
“yes..! i swear i was malleus!”
you felt his stare burn right through you, feeling as though he’d bite off your head any second. all that you could hope was that if you said “yes” enough, maybe he’d let you off easier.
that wasn’t the case.
“am i boring you? is a human’s time for daydreaming more important than mine?”
you started to shake in your seat, your heart in your throat.
“you have a lot of nerve, child of man. taking my generosity for granted, really, you are bold.”
he drew even nearer until his face was almost brushing yours. all you could do was tremble and pray that he wouldn't actually murder you at this very moment. suddenly feeling paralysed, you couldn't even gather the energy to defend yourself.
he pressed a finger on your foreheadーhardーwatching you practically unravel in front of him.
“what will it take, child of manーfor you to listen? how can we make the time left today not utterly pointless?”
he remained far too close to your face for your liking. whilst your body was about to give way any second, you couldn’t help but feel your face heat up for some strange reason. you’ve never seen malleus so close up before, it was almost an honour. you wanted to shake these stupid, borderline dangerous thoughts away, but you almost felt in awe at the anger he was expressing to youーas bad as that was.
“hoh? got nothing to say? heh, it’s almost as if you’re trying to anger me. you’re certainly the first to do such a thing, child of man.”
he moved his finger from off your forehead to your jaw, resting it under your chin as he slowly tilted your head up to look at him. you gave him a glazed-over look. it was as if every single thought in your head suddenly turned off, rendering you speechless and still. feeling his finger touch underneath your chin, you couldn’t help but sweat, your face becoming more flushed by the second.
“hmm, your face is heating up. am i embarrassing you, child of man?”
malleus was.
but even with all that embarrassment that was thoroughly washing through your entire body, you could sense a faint sensation of excitement starting to bubble. were you the masochistic type? did you actually enjoy getting humiliated by him? perhaps not, but seeing him get so riled up over youーhis face inches away from your ownーhey, maybe dying at the hands of someone like him wouldn’t be…too bad.
though, in the end, you could never hide things from malleus. if he couldn't detect your excitement from your face, something else revealed it for you. the slits in his eyes thinned, he glared at you. he could smell, ever so slightly, a hint of your arousal.
“...my. do you have a death wish?”
as soon as those words left his lipsーyou blinkedーsuddenly finding yourself having been thrown onto your desk, your back slamming onto the hardwood.
you gasped as you abruptly came out of your trance and felt him securely hold your legs as he towered over you. malleus wasted no time in entertaining those lewd thoughts your body was so clearly showingーwith a simple snap of his fingers, your clothes vanished and fell beside you. to say you were shocked to see this sudden change in him would be an understatement. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, with how fast everything was moving, you could say he was eager butーwith that expression…
it looked as if your mere presence disgusted him.
malleus slid his hand up over your neck, wrapping his long fingers around it before slowly squeezing as he spoke.
“heh. child of man, give me one good reason why i shouldn’t kill you right here.”
your body was shaken to its core. that voiceーthat sentence alone made you feel faint. you pathetically flailed your arms around, weakly trying to release the grip he was slowly tightening on your neck. the pressure around your throat distracted you from how vulnerable you looked under him right now. naked and shiveringーmalleus started to grin and leaned close to you, gently planting a kiss on your forehead. it was strange. the kiss felt so soft on you, yet the pain you felt merely inches away couldn’t have been more different.
he laid tiny wet kisses down your forehead and jaw before snatching his other hand and slipping it between your legs, gently teasing your wet folds. something about the contrast between his touch and his kisses made you melt; you felt yourself slump lower and lower onto the desk as you embarrassedly leaked all over it. “...malleus- i’m- i’m sorry-” you wheeze, still trying to release the vicious hold he had on your neck.
his face stayed close to you, and he suddenly licked a long stripe up your neck and jaw. the sudden sensation made you twitch, moaning slightly at how warm and wet his forked tongue felt against your bare flesh.
“it’s all too late to apologise now.”
“tutoring you was an utter waste of time. now, i’d much rather try something else.”
before you could even attempt to reply, he let his hand from your neck free. you gaspedーsuddenly feeling your naked, trembling body be dragged to the edge of the desk. your mind was racing so much that you failed to hear the sound of his belt suddenly slamming against the ground. you stared off at the ceiling, your lip quivering. the whole thing seemed like a dream, albeit a strange one. your rational mind refused to accept the reality of the situationーbut your body...had never felt so hot before. it felt unbearable; you needed to be relieved. and luckily, malleus was there, leaning over with his gaze searing through you evermore.
he forcefully propped your shaking legs up against his waist with one hand, immediately snatching your face to make you look at him. however, for a moment, it looked as if he had forgotten what had led you two to be in such a predicament and simply loomed over you, staring at you. his gaze almost switched to a softer one, feeling the urge to gently caress your cheek. though that was quickly discarded, and immediately that familiar look of disgust soon reappeared on his face.
malleus moved his hips closer to yoursーfinally feeling his hard erection brush against your twitching core; you wincedーwishing you could throw your arms around him and bring him even closer to you.
malleus, however, was not in the mood to be so courteous to you and certainly didn't want to take up any more time than had already been lost.
without any preparation, you suddenly felt malleus drive one of his cocks into you. you screamed out, feeling him sliding and bottoming out of you with just one thrust. swiftly, with three of his fingers then violently thrust into your mouth, you gagged and choked, tears beginning to spill down your cheeks,
“bite down. good students know not to be noisy.”
you tried to pathetically choke out to malleus that it was too muchーyour body shook and convulsed from the agonising splitting pain of his long, hard cock bullying its way into you, poking and prodding at your cervix. you sank your nails into the desk, biting down hard on his fingers as he pushed and slammed his hips into you, your cries for help becoming louder by the second. within minutes of him thrusting into you, you felt pressure rapidly build in your stomach, causing you to clench and squeeze against him.
“oh? what’s this? don’t tell me you’re going to cum already?”
you wailed, but his insulting remarks just made you feel worse about your own increasing arousal. still choking on his fingers, you nodded frantically when you then felt sharp cramping throughout your body as if you were about to cum. he swiftly slipped his fingers out while he was still thrusting into you just so he could hear your pitiful cries.
you felt your body shudder against the desk as a wave of scorching hot pleasure swept over you, pouring and seeping down onto the hardwood under you. you tried to catch your breath, gagging and choking as you already felt so sore and painful from just one orgasm. but it was obvious that malleus wasn't through with you just yet. it was, if anything, just the start.
he gave you time to calm down, your breath slowly easing as you shut your eyes, thinking this torture had reached its end.
of course, malleus would not let you off that lightly. his rage persisted and seeing you believe that this punishment was over just made him more spiteful.
he leaned in, his breath hot, “i’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself. now put your arms around me.” his tone was once again mocking, but this time it felt more serious, like everything you did would simply enrage him more.
he suddenly forced you into a mating press, your legs wedged up against your chest as you struggled to wrap your trembling arms around his head. you cried out and started to think that your body wouldn’t be able to handle thisーthat he might actually break you.
as he started to softly drive into you, drawing more weak and muffled groans from your lips, your hands connected to the base of his horns, clutching and scraping your nails across them. he started off slow, almost giving a relaxing quality to his thrusts as he softly kissed your forehead and smiled sweetly against your face, much to your surprise. your body relaxed as a result of his sudden shift in attitude, enjoying the fleeting moments of him lovingly moving his hips against yours, which were only going to abruptly come to an end.
your eyes were closed, not being able to see the horrific smile malleus suddenly had across his face. you assumed that the strange sadistic side of him had long since vanished, as evident by your voice becoming moans of pure pleasure rather than of pain. regardless of his disposition, he enjoyed seeing you this way. seeing how you moaned so quietly and softly only made the urge to completely ruin you that much stronger.
“are you enjoying this?”
you slowly opened your eyes, malleus still gently pushing into you as you lazily nodded, whimpering as the pleasure inside you continued to become greater. “mmm…malleus. it feels so good…don’t stop.”
“heh. so you think you can tell me what to do? your disrespect truly knows no bounds.”
your growing sense of pleasure abruptly gave way to a dreadful fear as he pushed your legs higher onto your chest and over his shoulders, making it clear that he was absolutely certain you couldn't get away. not understanding what he meant, your lip began to quiver, only for him to rid you of your confusion by suddenly thrusting into you aggressively. you screamed out, tears soon welling in your eyes again as he gave you no time to acclimate to the sudden pace. he licked his lips, savouring the view of you struggling and wailing underneath him as he gradually began to envelop your neck with his fingers. he hovered his face close to yours, sticking his long, forked tongue out before sloppily kissing your lips, still continuing his ruthless pace. you groaned under him, feeling yourself beginning to choke from both his tongue and his fingers, which were slowly beginning to squeeze your throat once again.
it was all far too muchーyour vision starting to blur, and all of your senses drowning and bleeding into one another as he kept pounding his thick cock into you, causing you to harshly grip and pull his hair.
he immediately drew his face back and tutted at you, but seeing the way your eyes began to roll into the back of your head only made him want to quicken his paceーif it was even possible.
“haha…perfect. so perfect…”
the words coming out of his mouth didn’t make sense. he was praising you yet abusing you with every thrust and squeeze of your body, not even giving you a chance to cry out as your head slowly began to feel faint. all of the pain and pleasure made you lose your mind, feeling your orgasm approaching rapidly as he started to lick and nip at your ears.
he throbbed and twitched inside of you and felt his own climax begin to rise, eventually making the decision to be generous enough and remove his vice-like grasp from around your neck. you gasped and cried out, finally able to breathe and mewling as a result of his cruel touch.
“malleus...ーpleaseーit’s too…ーmuch... ’m gonna-” he smiled at your pleas, pressing your legs harder against your chest, allowing him to thrust even deeper into you.
“heh, are you going to cum? haha…then do it. cum for me.”
it seemed as if he had put you under a spell with how immediate and intense your orgasm was, your walls clenching down on his throbbing cock with tears dripping down your chin. you felt the sensation of hot, burning pleasure wrack through your body once again, not even hearing your own screams from how strong it was.
malleus didn't even allow you to come down from your high. instead, he kept pushing to reach his own climax, feeling his body start to shudder and throb as he kissed you. “i’m…close…you’ll allow me to cum inside of you, won’t you? i know you will.”
you didn’t even care anymoreーyour legs continued to shake and tremble as you feebly nodded with your eyelids flickering. it seemed like malleus would fulfil his word, for a few seconds later, he let out a moan as he unleashed and pumped copious loads of white cum into you, causing you to whimper as you felt him completely fill you up.
his breathing evened almost immediately. wiping the sweat from off your face, he delicately slid his cock out from inside of you to admire his work, gazing at the way your body jerked with his cum spilling and gushing out of your abused hole.
…
“heh. maybe tutoring you every week won’t be so bad after all.”
#malleus smut#malleus draconia#malleus draconia smut#malleus x reader#twst smut#malleus headcanons#twisted wonderland smut#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst malleus#malleus draconia x you#malleus hcs#malleus x mc#malleus x y/n#malleus draconia headcanons#malleus draconia x reader#twst x reader#twst x y/n#twst x mc#malleus twisted wonderland#malleus smut headcanons#twisted wonderland malleus draconia
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hi, how are you doing ? i was wondering if can you do christmas head canons with matt ?
— christmas headcannons with matt. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙
warnings: just fluff & a slightly suggestive one if you squint.
a/n: hii omg ?? is this Thing on ?? 🎤
— leaves the christmas lights up till january type of person. either a) he’s too lazy to take the decorations down, or b) he just wants you to help him take them down so he avoids it until you bring up the idea of helping him LMAO.
— this man knows how to wrap presents mhm. he’d a hundred percent do that stupid ass trend that’s like “wrapping gifts as something not even remotely close”.
— LOOOVES baking cookies with you aww. he doesn’t even like the baking process itself he just likes the decorating part.
— his presents are definitely well thought out. you offhandedly said you wanted a certain something five months ago? best believe he bought it for you for christmas.
— every single present he gives you includes a handwritten love letter. you love it because it’s always at least three pages long and it’s so cute :(.
— he’s such an attentive boyfriend i’m melting ugh. always has a spare jacket for you in the backseat of his car. he’ll say nick or chris left it there for some reason which is most definitely not true, he keeps it there especially for you just in case you get too cold.
— he doesn’t really like visiting malls on christmas because of the crowds but if you wanna go for some reason he’s absolutely following you around.
— he tries to be secretive with gifts but ends up being a major fail LMFAOO you’ve found out what your presents are on multiple occasions. one time he just left them in the car accidentally and you saw them before he could even do anything about it.
— which leads me to my next point, you and chris have an unspoken secret agreement to tell each other what matters got you for christmas. you tell him his present and he’ll tell you yours.
— this went on for a while before matt actually found out and all hell broke loose Oops.
— a perfectionist when it comes down to gingerbread houses. he eventually gives up though when some of the pieces don’t stick together.
— matching ugly sweaters are a must, duh. sometimes it’ll deadass just be mid june and you’ll catch him wearing one of the matching sweaters. it’s so funny but unironically he loves them, he can’t even figure iut why, he just does.
— he gets chapped lips during winter SORRY !! so you’re absolutely gonna catch him with cherry flavored chapstick and he doesn’t gaf. ( taste tests in the car <3333 )
— he’ll never admit it but he Loves christmas scented candles. he acts like the smell is way too strong or something but light one of those snickerdoodle scented candles and he’s Melting.
— lots of christmas themed pick up lines. deadass texts you in the middle of the night just to be like “can i take your picture? i gotta show santa what i want for christmas.”
— his favorite part of winter is the fact that he gets to spend most of his time cuddled up with you under a fuzzy blanket watching movies.
— expect tons of late night drives with him. he loves seeing how people decorate their houses, and for some reason he loves late night talks with you with soft christmas music playing in the background.
— he would be so serious about kids and santa. i feel like chris would be the type of guy to tell kids santa isn’t real but matt would get so pissed, literally raging.
— gets the worst case of sweet tooth during christmas. cookies, cakes, literally anything sweet idc.
— due to that, he’d a hundred percent get sick during the holidays LMFAOO (constant stomachaches because of the amount of sweets he’s had.)
— he’s definitely very considerate as to who you wanna spend your christmas with. he’s thrilled when you wanna spend christmas with him, his brothers and the rest of his family but he also understands that you wanna spend holidays with your family.
— to get to a fair arrangement, you both agree on: one year celebrating with your family, and another year you celebrate with his.
— though when you celebrate with your family, matt, chris and nick end up crashing at, like, the middle of the night HELLO??
— he loves showing you off and posting with you during the holidays. posting your matching outfits, posting vlogs / videos and hauls of what you got for christmas. it’s soo cute.
#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#lucvly#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo edit
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How will this school/career year go for you?
Pile 1-(5 of cups, 3 of swords, 2 of swords, The Magician rx, Justice, 10 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles)
This school year will be a huge lesson for you. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. You’ve got some untapped potential. Someone here could be an art major or you’re interested. You may have a lot of interests or curiosity about different subjects. Whatever it is, look into it! Don’t be scared to learn new things or get involved in study/social groups. Try something different! It would be beneficial for you academically and socially. For someone here, you may face some disappointment in regards to school. It feels like you tried out for something or put in an application and things just didn’t go as expected. It just feels like a rejection from something. But that’s okay! There’s something better for you. There will be many situations where you’ll be faced with a dilemma, and it’ll be up to you to make the right decisions. Spirit needs to see if you’ve learned from your past lessons. There will be many moments where you’ll be faced with an obstacle. Don’t let this scare you tho! This is all to build you up into the person you’re meant to be. This year will teach you more about adulting and having to stand on your own two feet. You will be harvesting the fruits of your labor. Your hard work will not go to waste.
Pile 2-(Temperance, The Hermit, The High Priestess, Page of pentacles, The Moon, 2 of cups rx, Knight of cups rx, 4 of wands)
This year will cause you to look within and do a lot of self-work. You’re starting to realize that certain mindsets, habits, and environments don’t serve you anymore. This is your self-improvement era. I see you spending more time by yourself and getting your sh*t together. You’re working to have more balance in your life. I also see you rejecting love offers and may even be in this heartbreaker energy. It feels like you wanna put more focus into the people closest to you and what truly matters. So more power to you! Apply yourself to new subjects or activities that you’d like to learn. I see you really being on your grind with this. This will also lead to an increase in financial opportunities. You’re gonna follow your intuition and inner-knowing more (or you need to) You know exactly what’s right for you, so trust it! Look at the bigger picture in situations. You will start seeing people/situations for what they really are.
Pile 3-(The Emperor, Queen of wands, Ace of wands, 8 of swords, The Hanged man, Wheel of fortune, Ace of swords, Justice)
You will be presented with many opportunities to help you excel in your studies. This will open so many doors for you. You could feel trapped right now, or like you can’t be your true self. Everything will be okay babe. I see a sudden turn of events for you. Many of the cards I pulled have snakes on them, which signify rebirth and transformation. Think of yourself as a snake shedding its skin right now. This is gonna be a huge breakthrough for you. You will have a clear vision of what you want and who you want to be. You’ll see everything from a higher perspective. This new shift will really cause you to toughen up. You will also be more open and confident. I see you having more discipline with yourself and others. You will be living a more structured lifestyle. You’re stepping into a leader energy. Get outta that shell and let you creativity/passions lead you to where you’re supposed to be.
Pile 4-(10 of wands, 8 of wands rx, The Magician rx, The World rx, Knight of pentacles, Ace of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, The Star)
You might be at a point where you feel like you’ve hit a wall. Things might be feeling stagnant right now and as if your efforts are going to waste. Use this time to recharge, because things are about to take off for you! You won’t have time to rest. I heard “booked and busy”. This feels like fame that happens overnight. Maybe some content of yours will go viral or a piece of your work will get noticed by someone very important. This is gonna bring in a lot of abundance for you. I also feel like this is gonna boost your notoriety in your work environment, especially if it’s social media related. Spirit sees how hardworking and committed you’ve been to your craft. This is their reward.
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Of Ruin: Chapter 9 || KTH
(banner by @itaeewon)
Of Ruin (Masterpost)
Rating: NSFW - minors dni
Genre: vampire!au magic!au royalty!au, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, angst and fluff
Summary: Taehyung of House Rune, Prince of Infracticus has been cursed. You’re the human world’s leading curse-breaker. It should be simple. But unraveling the curse becomes the least of your problems in the face of a world on the brink of civil war… and the love you start to feel for the prince.
A/N: Thank you endlessly to @sailoryooons for betaing!!! 💕
//
Section Warnings: magical near-death experience, language, confrontation
wc: 4.3k
Back in your rooms, you and Namjoon stand, each processing quietly and a bit lost in thought.
“You should try to get a little more sleep,” he finally suggests. “You need to be at your sharpest.”
You nod absently, but your mind is flying through everything you’d uncovered in the ritual.
“I need to write down what I found,” you say, but your eyes are closed and you feel yourself swaying a little. “Before I forget.”
“Sit down,” Namjoon instructs, moving to the table to find paper and a pen in the mess you’d left strewn there. “Tell me what you found and I’ll write it.”
You do as you’re told and then head to your room for a few hours to sleep, making sure to keep the lamp - which has been replaced already since your mishap this morning - lit as you do.
Not that light does anything to keep an Infracti away. But it helps your mind to not create monsters out of shadows.
You emerge hours later, a bit groggy but certainly steadier on your feet. Namjoon isn’t in the main rooms and his door is closed, so you leave him be.
You check the time - it’s late afternoon, the seconds ticking you closer to early evening - and settle onto a cushion near the papers you and Namjoon had been writing on.
You’re almost through writing a more organized document of what you’ve discerned since the beginning - the threads you’re absolutely certain of, the counters you think most likely to be fruitful - when Namjoon emerges from his room, eyes squinting against the light and one hand raking through messy bedhead.
“What time is it?” he mutters, making his way towards one of the couches.
You glance at the clock and realize that dinnertime has come and gone. “Late,” you say. “I forgot to eat. Are you hungry?”
You send for dinner and start to go over what you were working on while Namjoon slept.
“With the ritual done, I’m more confident that we’ve identified every thread,” you muse, eyes scanning the pages spread out before you. “So now it’s really a matter of finding the correct counters.”
“That’s a relief,” Namjoon says.
You run a finger down the page, looking for a note you’d made. “I was thinking about the end of life thing,” you tell him. “Weren’t you saying, back when we got here, that life and death magic can be used to weave other threads? Do you think the person who cast the curse used the end of life thread to… make it cleaner - simpler to cast?”
Namjoon doesn’t answer this right away, but keeps tapping his finger on the table, a sign that he’s thinking hard about this.
“I don’t know,” he says finally, eyes still on the paper. “Definitely a possibility. So then, would they not have meant that they wanted him to die? Was that choice simply for casting purposes?”
It’s clear that Namjoon is simply thinking out loud, but you answer, “You’re the death magic expert. You tell me.”
He shakes his head. “There are dozens of other ways. It had to be deliberate.”
“Does it matter? In terms of the countercurse?”
He grimaces. “If they intended the end of life, we have to directly counter that. If it was chosen for casting only, we could work around it.”
He slides to the floor to sit opposite you, and you look together at the papers, and for a while you work like this - pointing at certain lines of text, jotting notes, crossing others out, drawing arrows connecting ideas - until the paper looks like a complete disaster. But it makes sense to the two of you, and that’s what matters.
You’re just about to wrap it up for the night when there’s a knock at the main door. Before you can rise, Satuel opens it and tells you, “The Prince would like a word.”
Prince Taehyung steps around her, and she retreats into the corridor, closing the door behind her. He looks drawn, troubled, but you’re struck - as usual - by his otherworldly beauty.
“I wanted to speak to the two of you,” he says quietly. He perches on the arm of the closest couch, long legs stretched out before him. “About what happened today.”
You and Namjoon exchange an uneasy look.
“My father sent a diplomatic team to the Scores,” he reports. “Their directive was to express that there was some sort of magical attack on the royal family, and to gauge the reaction. But it is not a direct accusation.”
You nod slowly, listening.
Prince Taehyung takes a deep breath and continues. “He also sent a team of spies,” he says carefully. “To see what they can uncover. The diplomats… their information may be useful, it may not. But if we are knocking on their front door to make inquiries, it will hopefully distract them from who is climbing through the window. So to speak.”
“Do you really think it was them?” you ask, hushed.
Prince Taehyung twists his mouth. “They do seem to be the most likely,” he admits. “But my personal feelings are more complicated. At any rate, I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on. An accusation was not made… but it would appear that they read it as one anyway. None of the families from the Scores attended our dinner tonight.”
You and Namjoon look at him in silence. You’re not sure you’re understanding - is it such a big deal that a few families didn’t show up for dinner?
“Invited guests haven’t just not shown without at least communicating in… my entire life, so over six hundred years,” Prince Taehyung clarifies.
“Oh,” you utter, feeling your stomach sink a little. “That’s… pretty bad, right?”
Suddenly the prince’s grim demeanor makes sense.
“It’s certainly a sign of trouble brewing,” the prince admits. “I wanted to let you know just… I don’t want you to be more frightened, and I promise you’re safe in these rooms… but you should know what’s going on.”
You take this in silently, glancing sideways at Namjoon. He looks just how you feel - nervous, on edge, but trying to keep a blank face in front of the prince.
“I’m sorry,” Prince Taehyung says emphatically, and you turn back to him. “I know you were already uneasy here. I don’t want to make it worse. But I felt very strongly that you should be kept informed.”
“No, I appreciate it,” you assure him. "We’ll be… even more careful. I guess this means no more trips to visit Potato?”
He smiles at this, a bit wryly. “I’m afraid not. At least for a few days. Let’s see how this shakes out. Maybe they’ll let tonight’s insult speak for itself, and we can all move on.”
“You don’t sound very optimistic about that possibility,” Namjoon remarks.
Prince Taehyung shrugs. “I wasn’t alive for any of the wars for power,” he admits. “But my parents, and those older than them - they remember. Thousands of years of bitter fighting, all for the throne.”
He sighs. “It was foolish of us, I’m sure, to think this peace would last - that one little pebble wouldn’t send the whole pile toppling. But it isn’t your problem. Where do we stand with the curse, after this morning’s ritual?”
You hurry to fill him in - that you’re feeling more confident that everything has been identified, and that your task now is to determine all the proper counters.
“How soon do you think you could make a reasonable attempt?” he asks, seeming to grasp without being told that the countercurses will come through trial and error.
You look down at your papers, as if they might provide an answer to this. It stings a little, that he’s hurrying you along. But you know how ridiculous it is for you to feel that way - of course he wants you to hurry. He wants the curse to end, he wants his life back, he wants to send you home to safety as tensions rise between the Infracti families.
“A day or two?” you guess finally.
Prince Taehyung nods. “Very well. I’ll be quite busy tomorrow, but I’ll make sure to check in.”
He wishes you both goodnight and departs through the main door, leaving you and Namjoon in tense silence.
“We do need to hurry,” he says quietly after a minute or two. “I have a feeling things are only going to get worse, here.”
“We can’t rush the process,” you argue, though at the heart of the issue you know you agree. “Sloppy magic equals death.”
“I’m not suggesting we do it sloppily,” Namjoon clarifies slowly, as if he is speaking a second language to you and needs to mentally translate each word first. And, in a way, that might be exactly what’s happening. “I’m not saying we have to be ready to go tomorrow. But things are becoming less safe, and that’s me saying that - not the team member who currently can’t sleep with the lights off.”
You feel your face heat. He’s right - of course he’s right. Things weren’t safe to begin with.
“I’m just saying that we need to keep trying to make forward progress,” he says seriously. “We can’t just spin our wheels.”
“Yeah,” you mutter, still embarrassed. “So… come on. Let’s figure out what we’ll try first.”
You settle back at the table, grabbing a pen, refusing to look up at Namjoon, who still watches you from where he’s standing. Eventually he joins you, and you work until near midnight, not stopping until you have three potential countercurses to try.
And then, when Namjoon disappears into his rooms, you slink into your own and practice defensive spells until you’re tired enough to curl up and try for sleep.
—
When you wake, late morning, you ask Satuel to inform the prince that you have countercurses you’re willing to try.
She comes back with your breakfast and news.
“The royal family will allow you to conduct an attempt at a countercurse in about an hour,” she tells you. “I’ll escort you when it’s time. They’re a bit wrapped up right now.”
You latch onto this, looking at her sharply. You don’t expect her to divulge anything, and you’re surprised when she glances over her shoulder and then lowers her voice as she sets down your breakfast tray.
“The Scores’ diplomatic team returned early this morning with a message,” she whispers. “Essentially, publicly objecting to any implication that they would, or did, orchestrate any kind of attack against the Runes.”
“Of course they object,” you say, reaching for the pot of coffee before she’s even placed the tray down. “Why would they admit it, even if it was them? They aren’t that stupid.”
“Maybe they are,” she mutters, voice even quieter. You strain to hear her. “They also made a public statement against the King.”
You sit back, coffee pot forgotten, looking at her with wide eyes. “They what?”
She nods, her own black eyes wide like yours. It seems this news has rattled her - something that’s shocking to see.
“What kind of statement?” you ask.
She glances towards the door again, and then smiles sheepishly when she notices you clocking this. “It isn’t a secret,” she explains. “I just don’t want to be misunderstood as gossiping. You are living here, for now. This affects you, too.”
She takes a deep breath and tells you, “The Scores, backed by the Cleaves and two other powerful families, have sent a joint statement accusing the crown of conspiracy, corruption, and the unlawful murder of humans.”
Your blood runs cold, and you press your palms to the tabletop to ground yourself. “Could… Do you think there’s truth to it?”
Satuel presses her lips together. “I am loyal to the crown,” she says, which is not an answer at all.
Or maybe it is.
You’re thinking, suddenly, of those videos your students had been watching back home, how they had been explaining a newsroom theory that there were orchestrated attacks happening.
You’re thinking of Prince Taehyung telling you his family had covered up his murders, wiped memories and erased entire lives from the world’s history.
You’re thinking that such accusations could not possibly be lightly made.
You’re thinking of Namjoon, back in Dr. Kim’s office on campus, saying the words Infracti Civil War.
Your skin crawls.
Satuel seems to understand.
“You’re safe as long as you’re in your rooms,” she promises. “As long as you’re with me, or Dansoo, or the prince - you’re safe.”
You note that she doesn’t list the King or Queen.
An hour later, you and Namjoon follow her through the palace, with Dansoo bringing up the rear. They take you back to the room where you’d tried the first cure, less than a week ago, when Prince Taehyung had been very nearly knocked out.
It feels different this time. You feel the weight of expectation as the King and Queen watch you impassively. You’re sure they’re remembering the last attempt - their son’s legs giving out, your own meager attempts to explain why it hadn’t been a complete failure.
That’s fine - you don’t care if they trust you. You don’t trust them - you barely did to begin with, and that sliver has only gotten smaller and smaller in the time you’ve been here.
The last time you’d tried a countercurse, you’d known that the chances were very slim that it would work - the best you’d been hoping for had been more information.
This time, it could work. It could.
Prince Taehyung faces you, frowning slightly.
“It won’t hurt you this time,” you promise him quietly, and a corner of his mouth quirks, amused at being read correctly.
Do you trust him? The question pops into your head unbidden.
You flatten your hands over the paper in front of you, scanning the list of incantations meant to call forth his magic, his healing, his life and twist them into a weapon. You double-check that each thread is accounted for. You repeat the trickier phrases, letting your tongue get accustomed to them.
You watch the prince shift nervously, still frowning slightly, his hands defensively shoved into his pockets. When he notices you still watching him, he gives a tiny, sheepish smile, something almost shy in it.
Yeah, you think. Maybe it will be your undoing, maybe it will be your downfall. But you do.
You wish you could talk to him before this - alone, without the audience of his parents and Namjoon. You want to ask him about the Scores, you want to reassure him that he’s going to be okay.
“Are you ready, Maiesti?” you ask gently, doing your best to pretend it’s only you and him.
He licks his lips nervously and nods, stepping closer.
You glance at Namjoon, suddenly nervous, and he gives you a reassuring nod. You ignore the King and Queen, wishing they weren’t there at all.
“Okay,” you whisper, holding up a hand. Taehyung presses his palm to yours, cool and solid. “Okay, let’s go.”
You begin the series of spells a bit unsteadily, your voice small and nervous. But it takes less than two minutes for your magic to rise up, filling you with warmth and purpose and confidence. You continue, emboldened.
You feel your magic touch Taehyung’s, a bit hesitantly at first, and then entwining itself easily and happily, as if they fit perfectly together and only needed to settle in.
You continue chanting, eyes scanning the words slowly so you don’t mess up. You can feel it working, can feel the curse resisting - but your choices seem to be correct, and you can feel the curse unraveling, weakening, thread by thread as the countercurse peels them away.
You feel a thrill within you as you recognize success, and you struggle to remain calm, lest you slip on a word and let it all go to waste. Taehyung’s hand twitches against yours, and you wonder if he can feel it too - the curse loosening its grip, bit by bit. You want to watch his face, want to watch him realize it, want to see him the second he’s set free.
You want to smile at him, victorious, proud, so happy to give him what he needs.
You cannot take your eyes off the paper. You cannot miss a syllable.
Something tugs low in your stomach, and the thrill vanishes faster than light. You continue speaking, following the words on the page, but you feel your eyes widen.
The tug comes again.
The curse is fighting back. The unraveling you could feel suddenly feels stuck, snagged. Something isn’t right. Something isn’t right.
You’ve made a mistake, you’ve missed something.
You hear your voice catch and freeze as your limbs go rigid. The curse crawls into your magic, digs its claws in. You cry out in pain, eyes squeezing shut.
You think you hear someone call your name - you can’t tell. You’re trying to unravel your magic from Taehyung’s, to get distance between yourself and the curse, to wiggle free from those claws of ill-intent.
You can’t seem to. You can feel it taking over and you try to force your eyes open, to ask for help, but you can’t see anymore - the room is black, and all you hear now is the roar of static in your ears.
You feel the room shift, a pain in your shoulder. You may have fallen - you can’t see so you can’t be sure. You gasp for breath, but you’re finding it harder. You’re not sure it’s working, you can’t tell if you’re inhaling, you can’t feel the exhale.
Then, the pain stops, the panic stops, the static goes quiet.
You can’t feel anything anymore, good nor bad.
All you can hear is crashing ocean waves, the wild whinnies of amarisca as they gallop into the sea.
—
Taehyung sits at your bedside - the side of his bed, technically - your fragile, mortal hand in his.
Mostly, you seem to be sleeping peacefully, and Taehyung tries to have faith in his own healing abilities, in Namjoon’s promises that he’d severed the magical connection in time. But every now and then your body shudders, as if working hard to expel a poison, and it makes Taehyung’s chest clench every time. He hunches over, smoothing back your hair, listening to your heart thump faster and then quiet again as your body stills.
All he can do is listen to your heart.
–
It was a year ago, when he’d found everything out. He’d been nauseous, damn near dizzy from the knowledge: his own father, orchestrating attacks on the human world. Covering the tracks. Framing other families.
How many innocent lives had he allowed to be lost? Knowingly - purposely?
The better question was why. And Taehyung hated unanswered questions.
He’d found his father in his wing, luckily alone.
King Sunjae had raised his brows, surprised to see his son, unannounced.
“What brings you here?” he’d asked.
Taehyung had felt hollow, heavy. This truth was too terrible to bear. He didn’t want to lay this accusation at his father’s feet. He didn’t want to argue against denials. He didn’t want to demand answers, reasons.
He wanted to be able to turn back time, to never let this happen at all. He wanted to sleep comfortably at night knowing his own negligence wasn’t to blame, that his inattention hadn’t let this come to pass without his knowledge, for who knows how long.
He couldn’t make himself speak, couldn’t force the words off of his tongue. In the time he was silent, the King seemed to piece it together, his expression darkening.
“Don’t make trouble, Taehyung,” he’d warned.
Taehyung had closed his eyes, shook his head. He’d wondered if ghosts were real, if his father could be haunted by the humans he had lowered into prey.
“I want to know the reason,” he’d finally said, his voice effectless.
His father had seemed thrown off that Taehyung had bygone any actual accusation. It wasn’t necessary, Taehyung thought. They both knew what they knew.
The King laughed once, sardonically. “You’ve always been innocent,” he’d scoffed. “That’s why I never involved you in this. Go back to your rooms, Taehyung, go back to playing piano and riding amarisca and whatever else it is you concern yourself with. I’ll handle the matters of state, as I always have.”
Taehyung swallowed against the assaulting words, the weight of their truth. He shook his head. “I need to know the reason.”
The King was silent for a long time. Then, finally, he turned away from his son, pacing closer to the window, which overlooked much of the valley below.
“For us,” he’d answered, and Taehyung had stared at his back, trying desperately to understand. “For the throne.”
“That’s bullshit,” Taehyung had said, nearly gagging over the word, stomach twisting with disgust and regret and horror and devastation. “Our power is not in danger. Our throne is not in danger.”
“You’re naive. It’s not your fault - you’re young. You weren’t alive for the wars - thousands of years of war, Taehyung, the crown bouncing from Cleave, to Score, to Rune, around and around - but I was. They were bloody, they were unending. Humans died for our wars as much as Infracti. The throne is always in danger, my son. It will always be in danger.”
“How can you think that?” Taehyung demanded hotly. “The law is written entirely in our favor - the crown stays in our bloodline. There’s no wiggle room, there’s no loophole. And our bloodline is fine.”
“Is it?” the King retorted. “After me, the crown is yours. Then, what? You’re over six hundred years old, Taehyung, and you’ve never brought forth a serious consideration for your queen.”
“Is that what this is about?” Taehyung had cried, even more aghast than he’d started. “I’ll marry - is that what you want? I’ll marry tomorrow if it means you’ll stop.”
The King had scoffed again, finally turning to face him, his expression radiating disappointment. Well, Taehyung was no stranger to that - not after six hundred years. “You aren’t serious.”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,” Taehyung had said, and meant every word. He’d beg if he had to beg, he’d cheat if he had to cheat, he’d marry if he had to marry - anything to stop his father. “It has to stop. This can’t be what we stand for. You can end it, or I will end it - and I don’t care how that happens.”
“Quit talking nonsense,” the King had snapped, eyes narrowed.
“I mean every word,” Taehyung had said, his undead heart galloping in his chest. “Our people were once only animals. Time and time again through history we have wavered, flirting with becoming simply the animal again. You want to secure the Runes’ hold on the throne? I want to secure the Runes’ humanity. If you need me to marry, I’ll marry. You have to stop this. Swear it.”
The King had looked at him for a long time, appraising, evaluating. Finally, very seriously he said, “If you’ll start looking for a wife - seriously looking - then I’ll put a stop to it today. But I have to see you trying.”
Taehyung had spent the next year courting the girls his father picked out. He’d meant his promise, but none of them touched him, none of them spoke to his soul.
Then you had shown up - braver than anyone he’d ever meant, so powerful it was scary, humble, and mouthy, and foolish, and alive - and when his father had suggested he keep you around… he hadn’t hated the idea.
He could see you as queen. He could see you by his side.
He just had to keep you alive long enough to see how you’d feel about the idea.
It was proving to be harder than he’d thought.
—
You come back bit by bit.
You can feel again first. Your shoulder throbs, and your head is splitting. You feel unbearable thirst, like you haven’t had water in days.
You feel someone’s hand clutching yours, feel their grasp tighten when you wiggle your fingers in theirs.
Then, you can hear again - the ocean waves are still breaking, distantly. The murmur of low, familiar voices. You hear someone say your name, deep and sweet, like your own little song.
Then, not much later, your sight returns - blurry, coming into focus as you blink against the sudden brightness.
At first, all you can see is purple sky. You turn your head to see your hand resting on top of the heavy comforter.
It occurs to you that this is not your bed. It is large, comfortable, facing a wall of windows - this is how you could see so much sky.
The hand holding yours retreats, and you follow the movement as you flex your now-empty fingers.
Prince Taehyung peers at you, face drawn. There is no one else in the room with you.
For a moment, just for a second, you feel like you are looking at each other simply person to person - your roles, your duties, your prejudices, your wants and needs, your fears… all the things that you each carry every time you spend time together, they seem to be held at bay. Just for now.
“Is it true?” you ask him. You’re not sure why this is the question you ask. “Is any of it true?”
His eyes - humanlike, as always, although it is a lie - stay on yours as he slowly nods. “Yes,” he whispers. “But don’t worry. I’ve been trying to fix it since before you came. I’m going to make it better.”
You’d said almost the same words to him, about his curse.
He takes your hand again, and you inhale sharply.
He lets out a huff of a quiet laugh. “I really thought we’d lost you,” he murmurs. Then, he brings your hand to his mouth and presses his lips gently to the back of your hand.
For one terrifying, lightning-quick second, you thought he was going to bite you.
This is your last thought before things go dark once again.
<;- Prev | Next ->
thanks so much for reading!!! the next few chapters are among my faves :') looking forward to posting!
#bts x reader#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts supernatural au#bts royal au#taehyung fanfic#taehyung fic#taehyung x reader#taehyung smut#taehyung angst#taehyung x you#taehyung x y/n#kim taehyung fic#kim taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung smut#kim taehyung angst#supernatural au#royal au#s2l#magic au#fic: of ruin
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The Giver. Mute Branch Au
Notebook talking has this "-"
Sign language is this "*"
Xxx
A scrapbook opens as Poppy narrates, "Years ago, on the night of the Harvest Moon, a mysterious troll paid our village a visit and delivered gifts to everyone becoming known only as ... the Giver." On the page, a little troll in a hoodie leaves presents in the pods, stopping to pose in front of the moon. "Every Harvest Moon since has been the same, leaving presents under the veil of night."
The little trolls in the pod leave for a moment, missing the Giver leaving them a gift, "Yay!"
"Which everyone loves...." Poppy suddenly shuts the book, "but it drives ME completely insane!"
A crowd of trolls looked at her in confusion, chattering amongst themselves.
"When you give a gift, you’re supposed to receive a thank-you card. It’s what separates us from the animals. And this Troll is making a mockery of the whole thing. " Frustrated, Poppy throws the book on the mushroom, Smidge behind her with a stern look. "Ugh!"
The crowd gasped, Biggie covering Mr. Dinkles eyes. Branch tapped a dazed Suki's shoulder and held up his brown notebook, "- I think I might missed a step from being in my bunker the last decade. Does she do this every year?-"
Suki shrugged, "Pretty much. I just nap through it. Thank goodness, I learned to sleep with my eyes open, right?" She snores with her eyes open, making Branch gasp and drop his notebook.
"Well, listen up, Giver. You may have escaped me in the past, but this year I’ve rigged the entire village with hidden alarms." She points to Smidge, who pulls a conveniently placed vine. Red and blue bell like flowers beging blaring out an alarm. "Which means I will catch you and will get what’s coming to you."
Smidge pulls out a purple bat (which I hope is actually rubber) with an eager face. "Yeah!"
"This!" Poppy pulls out a blue thank-you card and opens it to show off her card, making skills
Smidge nervously laughs and hides the bat. "Uh, yeah, that."
"So this is your last chance. Come forward now and take your thank-you like a troll." The crowd looks at each other, but no one comes forward. Poppy then hears a certain breathing pattern that she definitely recognizes as laughter, "Something funny, Branch?"
Branch signs, "*Yes, you.*"
"Hm…"
"*I realize I’m new to all this, but if “the Gifter” wants to remain anonymous, shouldn’t we respect that?*"
Biggie excitedly asks, "OH! Can I try translating?" Branch nods to the gentle giant. "Okay, you said something about making cookies for the Giver."
"Meep."
Biggie looks at Mr. Dinkles, "What do you mean I'm not even close?"
Reminding herself to help Biggie with translating later, Poppy responds as Smidge seems to be counting trolls, "It’s “the Giver.” If you’re gonna be a know-it-all, get your facts straight."
"Uh, Poppy, just did a hair count, and Satin and Chenille are absent."
Poppy quickly turns to her, "Absent?! On the Harvest Moon?" Her face switched to determination, "Let’s go, Smidge. We’ve got a new lead suspect."
"Uh, there’s two of them."
"We’ve got a new lead of suspects. "
Xxx
The scene switches to Satin and Chenille's pod, only to reveal Satin sick in bed.
Satin sneezes and then blows her nose into a tissue, tossing it into a pile next to her. "I love being sick. It’s like my body has a whole other side to its personality for me to get to know. Don’t you think?" She turns to Chenille, who's wearing a gas mask and carrying a spray bottle.
Chenille sprays at her twin, "Back, vessel of pestilence! Back!"
Poppy and Smidge sneakily walk up to the window, "You ready to bust these gift-giving punks, Poppy?"
Poppy pulls out the card and preps it. "Locked and loaded." She hears crunching and sees Branch sitting in a chair, eating a bag of popcorn. "Ugh! Don’t you have better things to do?"
"*Than watch you make a fool of yourself? (munches) Please, I cleared my whole day.*"
Smidge looks at him, "OK he definitely said something about you embarrassing yourself." Branch tapped his nose twice. "Cool." She smiles, then turns her attention back to Poppy, "Ignore him. How do we get ‘em to talk?"
"By using the oldest Troll interrogating technique there is-good cop, great cop."
Smidge uses her baseball bat to shine light into Satin and Chenille’s pod. Directing it to face Satin.
She flinches for a moment and then relaxes into it. "Ah! Ooh, that sunshine feels so good."
Poppy leans in close to the sick troll. "You know what else is good?" She takes out a cookie. "Cookies. And you can have them if you tell me what I want to know."
"Ooh."
She pushes the cookie closer, "Or if you don’t, either way."
Satin smiles. "That’s so nice."
"Oh, yeah?!" Smidge pulls a cake from behind and lightly slams it on the table, "I’ll give you an entire cake, no strings attached!"
Satin feels a bit conflicted, "Wow, I feel like I should at least tell you something."
Poppy gets right in her face, "Well, I’ll give you a back rub."
"I’ll write you a haiku."
Poppy bangs on the table, "I’ll be your best friend!"
Satin holds her head in what seems to be guilt, "OK. OK. I confess. I color my hair! I’m not a natural purple." She then points to her sister as the lights come on. "Neither is Chenille."
Chenille's eye twitches in disbelief, "You...are dead to me."
"Hold on. So you’re not the Giver?"
An unfamiliar laugh distracts the four, turning to see Branch leaning on his chair laughing, "*Bravo, Poppy. You really broke the case of the purple hair wide open.*"
Poppy growls, feeling a little conflicted, seeing as he'sactually laughing for others to hear. Chenille comments, "I only understood purple hair. "
Satin smiles a little, "Well, it's nice to actuallyhearhim laugh. "
Branch leans to far bach on the chair, knocking down the curtains, revealing what appears to be red wrapping papper. Poppy gasps, "That looks like the paper the Giver uses." She turns back to Satin and Chenille. "Explain yourself… ves!"
"That paper’s not ours."
Chenille explains, "Yeah, it’s so five years ago. Do you think we’ve been living under a rock?"
Smidge licks the paper, "It’s definitely the same-quality pulp, hand-cut edging," She then points to a logo, "and look at the insignia. It comes from Sky Toronto’s Party Shop.
Poppy turns back to the twins, "Ladies, I really hope Sky doesn’t tell me you’re the Giver, or so help me, I’ll thank you like you’ve never been thanked before." She walks backward and arrives at Sky Toronto’s Party Shop.
She walks with the older glitter troll as he gives out orders, "It’s crunch time, people. I need 200 piñata ideas on my desk by tomorrow morning." The workers walk away. "Queen Poppy, I’m honored, yada, yada, but let’s cut to the chase. There are 18 parties, 12 soirees, and at least five shindigs on an average Troll night all supplied by me, Sky Toronto." He snaps his fingers. "So time is glitter."
She holds out the wrapping paper, "Do you recognize this?"
Sky stops as a worker approaches him, "Pause."
The worker holds out the confetti samples, "Mr. Toronto, the new confetti designs for your approval, sir."
Sky throws each sample to inspect, "Pass, hard pass, too cliché." He stops at the fourth one. "Ah, that one. That’s the confetti of the now." The worker leaves, and he turns back to Poppy, "Yes, I recognize it. Not popular, except with one troll who picks up about 100 rolls once a year."
Poppy gasps, "Once a year?!"
Another worker walks up to him with a disco ball in her hand, "Hey, S.T. The boys in decorations just cooked up this new color. Thoughts?"
Sky thinks for a moment, "Hm. Not bad. But disco balls aren’t testing well. How about disco… cubes?" The worker gasps and walks backward, her mind blown.
Poppy tries to get his attention, "Let me get this straight. The Troll who gets this paper, you’ve seen him in person?"
"Many times." An explosion catches his attention and sees some workers running from it. "Don’t mind that. Accident in the trick candle division. We try to put it out, but every time we do…" Trolls bring in water and fire extinguishers to put it out, but the explosion gets worse. "I should ask Branch to see if he can come up with something to put it out."
Later, Smidge is getting a cup of water in the meeting room while Poppy is talking to Sky with Harper sitting with him.
"Okay. Just give Harper here a physical description."
Sky begins the description, "Body of a warrior. Earlobes of a poet. Butt that shimmers like the night sky. We done here?"
Poppy looks at the picture groans, "Describe the mystery Troll, not yourself." She turns Harper's clipboard to reveal a drawing of Sky.
Sky takes the picture Harper drew and hands it over to one of the workers, "My mistake. But I’m keeping that. The troll had dark eyes, a shrouded face, and hair the color of mystery."
Harper shows Poppy a picture of the Giver. Which is only a troll in a hoody wearing sunglasses. Poppy stammers, "What is this?! This isn’t helpful."
"I said I saw the Giver, not that it’d be helpful."
Harper takes back the picture she drew, "Wait. I’ve seen this Troll."
Xxx
Later that night, Harper Poppy and Smidge go to find the Giver, "I saw the Troll down here this morning… over by the tree roots." She points to a large tree. They continue to walk as the fog clears. Poppy gasps to see several gifts ready to be delivered.
Smidge is a bit suspicious, "Uh…"
Poppy looks on in awe, "The Giver’s stash. They’ll have to come back here before delivering tonight’ gifts. This is where we make out stand." As she tries to walk away, she hears squishing sounds.
Smidge looks up at her, unimpressed, "Uh, we’re standing in mud."
The royal moves away from the mud, "This is where we make our stand.
An owl is heard hooting in the background. Poppy and Smidge are hiding in the bushes. "It’s just a matter of time. Eventually, our Mystery Troll will have to come back to get the gifts, only to find…"
Smidge pops out of some tall grass, "Whammo! It’s a stakeout, boy!"
"Oh, yeah!" The two hear rusting. "That’s the Giver now!" The troll appears and seems to go to the gifts. "Gotcha!" She pulls a vine, and many flowers pop up. They shoot balls and streamers along with a thank-you banner.
Spiders jump down and sing, "Thank you!"
Poppy runs out of her hiding place, "Ha! I thanked you! I thanked you so hard! Yes, yes, yes!" She turns on a flashlight and pulls away the flowers. "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?!" The flowers reveal that it was only Cooper.
Cooper gives them a clueless smile, "You’re welcome."
Poppy is shocked, "All these years, it was you? W-why did you - When did you…" She puts her flashlight away and tries to calm down. "You know what? Just start from the beginning and tell me everything."
Cooper looks at her, "Everything? Okay. Darkness. Then I emerge from the womb, wearing this very hat."
(5 minutes later)
"And then the theme of my 7th birthday party was invisible friends. It was very well attended."
(2 hours later)
"And then, after years of hard work at graduation, my classmates finally turned to me and said, “You’re not in class.” (chuckles) We laughed."
(Another 2 hours later)
"And then some weird Troll told me if I came out here, I’d find some empty boxed for my empty-box collection. And then you trapped me and said, “Tell me everything.” And then I said, “Darkness. I emerge from the womb”-
Poppy stops him, "Whoa! Just answer this question." She takes out the picture Harper drew. "Are you or are you not the Giver?"
He taps the picture, "That’s the weird Troll that sent me here."
They looked at him in disbelief, "The Giver sent you here?"
A random green spider set down a package and pulled back up. "Special delivery from the Giver."
Smidge opens the present and reveals a letter. “Dear Poppy, I’m sorry. This was the only way. From, the Giver.”
"It’s a setup. The Giver wanted us to come here!" She hears the alarms sounding in Troll Village.
Smidge looks over the horizon, "Oh, my Guh."
Poppy quickly runs toward the village, "Halt! Halt in the name of gratitude!" She looks up at the pods to hear the Trolls cheering because their gifts were delivered. She falls to her knees, leans up towards the sky, and exclaims, "THANK YOU!"
The Trolls are celebrating their given gifts while a sad Poppy sits at her pod. "The giver won, Smidge." She opens her card. "No point in holding on to this anymore. She rips the card to pieces.
Smidge tries to cheer her up, "Come on, Poppy, at least you got a present, huh?"
Poppy takes the present, "A horribly wrapped present. Who uses so much tape?" She sighs, "Chenille was right. This Troll really must live… under a rock! (gasps) Trolly-moley. I know who it is!" She gives her present to Smidge and runs. Then she comes back to pick up her destroyed card. "I really regret doing that." Smidge takes both presents to her pod for safe keeping.
Xxxxx
We return to the tree to see a dark figure heading towards a cave hidden amongst the vines, "Hold it right there, Giver."
Poppy walks towards the figure and grabs their shoulders, "It’s time for you to be finally thanked." She turned them around to reveal, "(gasps) Mr. Dinkles!"
The hoodie falls off to reveal the cute little glow worm on top of some other pets. Smidge pops out of the bushes, "Wait, so it wasn't Branch?"
Poppy shakes her head, "If you're here, then who's with Biggie?"
Xxxx
We quickly go back to the village in Biggie's pod, "Isn't this wonderful, Mr. Dinkles?" He pulls out a brand new camera, showing it to a doll that looks like Mr. Dinkles, with a poorly hidden tape recorder on its back. "Meep"
Xxxx
"So if all of you are the Giver, why keep it a secret?" Poppy asks.
"Meep."
Poppy cooed, "Aww, you all just wanted to show your love for everyone by doing something nice."
Smidge pulls out a present from her hair, "Well, that explains the massive amount of tape. Must be pretty hard to wrap without thumbs."
Poppy cleared her throat, "OK guys, I still want to thank all of you, so how about you all come to my pod tomorrow for some special treats?"
The pets all agreed and waved goodbye to the two trolls as they walked back to the village. Once they were gone, they quickly ran into the cave. Dinkles flipped over a rock to reveal a pass code lock, he typed in some numbers, and a hatch opened. They all jumped in, landing in a very familiar living room.
"Meep." Well done, everyone. They all turned to see Branch taking off a dark hoodie and special night vision sunglasses. "Meep." She doesn't suspect a thing.
"Meep." Correct, Quiet One. Now, I believe we are to receive our payment.
Branch smiles and pulls out his special, pet friendly, triple fudge brownies. As he watches them enjoy the treat, he laughs silently, 'Sorry Poppy, but this is one secret I'd like to keep to myself for a while.
#trolls#trolls branch#au#mute!branch#trolls band together#branch#trolls poppy#dreamworks trolls#trolls the beat goes on#trolls world tour#trolls snackpack#trolls smidge#trolls satin#trolls chenille#trolls cooper#trolls dj suki#trolls biggie#trolls mr dinkles#this took a while
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GENERAL: 3 things you should do more & why
As usual, with tarot, it gets spiritual. But I also included extra things like activities you can do and advice card in each pile. There are three points in each pile, so it is up to you if you want to split the reading; for example, if you want to choose Pile A number 1 for the first suggestion, Pile D number 2 for the second suggestion, Pile C number 3 for the third suggestion. Or just choose one pile for all three suggestions.
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Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!
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PILE A
Queen of Swords (10 of Pentacles), 7 of Swords (The Hermit), 10 of Wands Rx (7 of Pentacles)
1. Prioritize what you know you need to prioritize. Fix and hold/maintain your boundaries. I wonder if some of you cross your own boundaries too, or do things to yourself that you know you shouldn’t— dishonoring yourself or your boundaries in some way. Speak your mind more. This will allow you to build a more stable life for yourself (it will lead to more stability and getting to build a life that you desire).
2. Keep some aspects of yourself private, not everyone deserves to know what you are up to, not everyone should have access to you. Plan your life/day more and move in silence. You will be able to protect your peace better this way, and some of you probably need your space to feel more like yourself and to cultivate mental independence. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.
3. Let go of burdens and responsibilities that aren't yours to take. Relax more, pace yourself better, you will get what you aim for even if you do it slowly. Sometimes trying to carry too much can lead to ineffectiveness and things not working out. Some of you may also be overburdening yourself with things that you shouldn’t because you want to avoid drama and conflicts. Some of you do this because you feel like you are running out of time.
Advice card: Communication, “I am a masterful communicator with the ability to say what I think and feel in a way that doesn’t invoke conflict. Watch as I dodge the bullets of sass and snark. Marvel as I avoid the traps of passive-aggressiveness and victimhood. Be amazed that even though it’s sometimes stressful, I choose to communicate— an act that saves us all from the grips of certain unspoken seething.”
Extra: Food hunting, Clubbing & Partying; (go out to eat and have fun), Daydreaming (be clear about your vision), Being Online (be intentional with your screen time and the content you seek, instead of scrolling mindlessly)
PILE B
King of Pentacles, Page of Swords (Justice), The Fool (4 of Cups, 6 of Swords)
1. Look at your life and see how you can increase the quality of your life; how you can make your home life better, what habits you can cultivate to help you feel more stable in yourself, your routine, living space, furniture and so on. Live your life in a way that can help you build more stability and comfort, in a way that brings you long-term rewards. Manage your personal finance wisely. Some of you are advised to connect more to your roots, history and culture. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.
2. Embrace your curiosity. Follow the flow of what piques your mind. Yes, even if you are interested in 32532 different hobbies or topics at the same time, find time to engage with them all. Not everything you explore has to stay forever in your life (you don't have to commit to everything), but that does not mean you shouldn’t experience them at all. Share those things that you have learned and that excite you with others. It will help you develop mental agility and be wiser.
3. Be open to life and take more risks. Go out and explore the world. Start something new, whether or not it will lead to anything substantial, we never really know what will and what won't. Approach life lightly, with childlike wonder. It will help move you away from your past disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Advice card: Prep Work, “I make friends with the quiet loners— Organization and Planning— and I suddenly realize how cool they are. I start hanging out with them, and I bend to their influence. I even allow them to give my daily habits a makeover. Normally I wouldn’t succumb to peer pressure, but isn’t efficiency the best? C’mon, just let me fill in one more bullet journal, I promise I’ll be able to stop.”
Extra: Sightseeing & Going to the museum, Collecting, Photography & Videography (take more pictures, record your memories, make a scrapbook journal), Fishing (be around bodies of water more; the beach, lake, pool, have an aquarium or set up a small decorative fountain in your space, etc).
PILE C
3 of Pentacles (The Sun), 10 of Swords, 7 of Cups (8 of Pentacles)
1. Ask for help more often. Even if you can do something alone, sometimes it benefits you if you let other people help you. Getting help is not the only benefit; forming connections, starting an interaction, exchanging resources and network are among the benefits. You never know who knows a person who knows a person who has the resources that can make your life better.
2. Sit down with yourself and really take your time understanding why you are dealing with the pain and stress you are dealing with. Some of these things require attention, and if you experience delay or obstacles or difficulty that stop you in your path or weigh you down until the point you can’t move forward, maybe it is time to stop and heal. Investigate the source of stress and pull it out one by one, and love yourself through every step.
3. Regularly look at the things that show up in your life, and really ask yourself what’s good and what’s bad for you, filter them according to this standard. Not everything that seems and feels good is actually good, not everything that seems bad and feels bad is actually bad. Look at your own qualities too, there are things that we carry in ourselves that can lead us astray, and there are things that we carry in ourselves that are actually helping us. This may be the step that starts your self-improvement journey.
Advice Card (this one is a bit more cryptic than the others): Lunch, “I eat my own food and I let others eat their own food. If there is not a name on the food and I didn’t buy the food, I use my brain to remember that I didn’t buy the food and I assume that someone else bought the food.”
Extra: Occult (self-introspection, get to know yourself activities, spiritual activities or activities that can make you feel more connected to the Universe, nature and the world around you), Fashion & Style (take care of your appearance and hygiene more, wear clothes that make you feel happy every day)
PILE D
Judgment (Wheel of Fortune), 9 of Pentacles (King of Cups), Queen of Cups Rx (The Sun)
1. Regularly look back on your past and actions you took, what you did that helped you succeed or produce a desired/positive result, and what you did/didn’t do that didn’t help you. Learn what you should do again to repeat the desired result. Apply the knowledge. Looking back on the past also means noticing the patterns that have appeared in your life, which also helps you notice similar patterns in the present, this will help you navigate your present and future better.
2. Embrace gratitude and just enjoy your life. A lot of you have worked hard enough to get to this point, you deserve to enjoy yourself. Sure the journey hasn’t ended yet, and many of you have long journeys ahead of you— but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy what you have now. This is good for your emotional and mental health; it will help you feel more emotionally balanced and stable instead of feeling drained.
3. Avoid approaching life with feelings all the time. It’s common to process life events emotionally, for example, when something happens we might be like “this is so boring to do” “that is so unpleasant” “I want to do this but I feel like” and whatnot, but it will be simpler if we just see things as 'actions to take' and that’s it, don’t let yourself move past the awareness of the facts (of the situation) and start feeling something about the facts. This is one of the things that go-getters do; they just act, they don’t think or feel much about every single thing in their life and in their to-do list. It will make you happier and make it easier to move in life.
Advice Card: Consideration, “I’m a considerate person, and my new goal is radical conscientiousness. From now on, I’ll leave every space tidier than I found it; I’ll find small ways to support a teammate even if they didn’t ask for it.”
Extra: Watching movies (watch more movies, drama or tv shows), being out in nature (you can also try being more active physically, like doing sports or other physical activities that have positive impacts on your health).
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot community#pick an image#tarot readings#pick a picture#free tarot readings#tarotblr#divination community#tarot readers#free tarot#pac#divination#spirituality#spiritual community
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╰┈➤ summary : you and your reliable partner grim are the most famous interdimensional travelers under the Official Isekai Association. you're used to traveling into psychological thrillers and horrors. however, this time something goes wrong, and you suddenly turn into the protagonist of… an otome game?!
— characters : jade leech, leona kingscholar | kalim al-asim, azul ashengrotto | lilia vanrouge, idia shroud
⌞tags⌝ : gn reader, fluff at times, angst (i'm offering EXTRA angst and drama for lilia & idia for you today), mentions of death, idia's part being quite dark actually, BUT there's a happy ending (or i think so but feel free to allegorize as you please! :))
— w.c. : 14.8k+
⌞notes⌝ : thank you for reading everyone!! it was really fun to write, and now i'm off to the uni activities (let's hope i'll have more spare time than i think i will so i can be more active on tumblr).
i even thought to make this fic a bit longer (up to 200+ pages or so?) but due to lack of time i just had to make it shorter :(( but i hope you had fun reading!! thank you for all the support you've shown ^^
“Oi henchman,” Grim poked at your cheek, a strong smell of tuna coming from him. “How much percent does that bat-guy have?”
“Bat-guy?..” You asked, a dim and dull voice coming from the pillow you buried your face into. “Do you mean Lilia Vanrouge?”
“Yeah, him,” Grim’s tail tickled your ear. “I’ve met him so many times during your previous walkthroughs it’s insane.”
“Huh? You’ve met him more than me?.. I believe I’ve encountered him thrice or so.”
“It’s like he was always there.”
The dismal mood which glued to you firmly happened to tremble slightly at Grim’s statement. If he has met Lilia continuously, then how in the world did you miss him? He was there occasionally, twice you’ve met him in Leona’s route, but other than that? Lilia Vanrouge resembled a mystery under a dark lacy veil.
“Tell me about him,” you requested. “His profile is pretty confusing.”
“How come?”
“First, the difficulty of his walkthrough is 100%.”
“Fugnya?!”
“Second, his traits are fairly… uncommon. Not to mention his age is unknown.”
“Shit,” Grim cursed. “Can’t believe how tough that Idia guy will be.”
“Don’t mention him. I’m not sure if I can survive Lilia’s route.”
“Survive,” Grim repeated, crawling under the blanket. “You haven’t used this word since we first landed in our first thriller. What, do you think that Lilia dude will kill you just because he’s a bat or something?”
You chuckled, making a strange noise, and thought to yourself that no, he won’t kill you for sure—you couldn’t die twice—but he will deprive you of your mental stability for certain. And with heart beating in blind anguish you tapped on Grim’s paw to feel less stressed out, turning to him.
“Okay so,” Grim sighed and started. “Be careful, henchman. I don’t think I’m ready to see your face after you complete his route. Dude’s dangerous.”
“Ha!”
As if you didn’t know that yourself.
You never knew where Lilia would appear. In Leona’s route you’ve met him just on a fortunate occasion, and not to mention your savings ran out to the point you had only basic transmigrator features left: to save the game and to load it, to see the indicator above people’s heads, to get auto-save once you finish another route, to be able to see person’s profile and such.
So you came up with another idea. Since Grim was the one who witnessed Lilia during every route you’ve passed, you requested help from him directly. That’s why he went to the school yard, and you decided to go to auditoriums.
Classes ended, and you started searching from the classroom where 3-E class lessons were, stumbling upon Trey Clover, who apparently was Lilia’s classmate. He was gathering his things, and now that you thought about it, ‘side’ characters also experienced strange emotions towards you. For instance, Floyd had to appear curious about you, once mentioning to Grim—which your partner told you not directly, but in his sleep—that he would love to make an acquaintance with you, because you somehow ‘fit Jade’s vibe’ or so.
You wondered how Clover would react and approached him.
“Good afternoon,” you said, stretching out your hand for a handshake. “I’m Yuu.”
“Hello.”
Trey smiled at you politely, but the look in his eyes appeared to possess an uncertain curiosity.
“I’m Trey Clover,” he said, accepting your handshake. “You are the directing student, right? You’re quite popular around here, but it’s always impossible to meet you, ha-ha.”
“Y-yes?.. Why is that?”
“Why are you popular, you mean?” You nodded. “We’ll… Lilia always talks about you. Which is interesting, he always wonders where you could be. It’s quite unusual for him.”
“Ha-ha, how peculiar… I also wonder where he is right now. Possibly you have an idea?”
“Oh? With how often he mentions you I thought you two are good friends. Or something more~”
You jolted, forcing a smile. Clover, of course, had no ill intentions, but his words were poisonous to you.
“How could we…”
“Somehow you two have the same energy…” Trey shook his head. “No, forgive me, I’m just talking to myself. Anyway, I don’t know where Lilia would be, but the club meetings should start soon. Maybe you should go and look—”
“Light Music Club class, right?”
“You sure you don’t know where he is?” Trey chuckled. “Sorry. Well then, I’ll get going. See you!”
“Yes… see you. Thank you.”
Strange. No matter how you looked at it, it was strange to the bone. Clover just confirmed what Grim saw — Lilia obviously entailed an unconcealed interest in you, provided he not just was there in other routes, but also talked about you. But what was the reason for him to do it? He didn’t know you, unless there was an error occurring in the system and ruining the whole story, but it certainly wasn’t anything. So why would he…
You opened the Light Music Club room’s door and glanced over it quickly, noticing Lilia wasn’t there. Alright, you had some time to sort out your thoughts alone before encountering Vanrouge in person, so you came in, closing the door, and observed the room. Music sheets were scattered everywhere quite chaotically, and dust particles were flowing under sunbeams breaking through the opened window.
“Hm, that one song…” You grabbed a music sheet, recognizing the song’s lyrics. “I think I saw it before.”
It certainly was a remix, something reminiscent of an old folk song you’ve heard once, transmigrating into a horror fantasy novel. It sounded quite romantic and nice, very light and joyful, something unostentatious that helped you during hard times. Horrors were always energy and emotion draining, but this song could bring you some sort of a rewind.
You smiled, seeing that not much changed in this version, but without any notes you couldn’t figure out for sure how it sounded, so the original tune just slipped out of your tongue.
Enjoying the sound and the light feeling in your chest, you finally managed to feel genuinely free and happy, just like Kalim wished for you to be, and you positioned yourself on the windowsill, seeing people down there on the school yard passing by.
“I remember like it’s yesterday,” you’ve sung, opening the system’s tools and checking Lilia’s profile. “When I was having hard time being lonely.”
Indeed, there was no age mentioned. How very strange, you thought, but also tried to remember how old you yourself were when you started wandering around the worlds, like a ghost haunting the mansion, finding no peace and always trying to reach for something significant.
“The unfamiliar atmosphere,” you’ve continued singing. “The fearful thrills, now I know…”
In fact, you didn’t know anything. An unpleasant pricking sensation in your heart caused you to stare at Lilia’s image for an uncertain amount of time.
“Including my immature heart…”
You knew the next line in the song, but thought it would be best to refrain from singing it, when you realized it didn’t suit you at the moment. No matter how hard you wanted to escape this place and let everyone be happy, you still couldn’t and—
“You made me to think of those as good memories~”
You blinked, hearing obviously not your own voice, and now that you noticed, didn’t Lilia’s profile image turned not so transparent as usual?..
“Hm? Why would you stop singing?”
A popped up system window abruptly closed at once, and you saw Lilia hanging upside down and floating midair just before you.
“What the.. Isn’t it the second floor?!”
“Now now,” Lilia sneaked into the room, plunging on the sofa, and looked at you with a sly smile, yet a kind and feignedly naive look in his eyes. “Sorry for scaring you! Although I’m not sure if I did, you don’t look like passing out.”
“And why would I?”
“Well, magicless humans don’t usually see people hanging upside down. I was ready to catch you if you fell out of the window.”
“Huh, thanks for your kindness I guess?.. And I believe I’m just not the person to be easily impressed.”
“Hmmm~” Lilia grinned at you. “Still, how wonderful that you know the original sound of the song. When I asked Cater and Kalim, they mentioned they never knew it was a remix in the first place.”
“Kalim…” You mumbled to yourself, not knowing that Lilia heard you, then shook your head. “Uhm, it’s a… popular song in my original world.”
You didn’t even remember the world you were born in. Was there any magic and you were the one to not be blessed—or cursed?—with this ability, or was it a completely magicless world in the first place?
Now matter how hard you’ve tried, you never managed to remember at least a glimpse.
“Oh really?” Lilia smirked. “How old are you, Yuu? It’s quite an old song.”
“I’m…”
Your physical age was the one at which you died, and after that you could refer as you pleased. At first there was a strict system which highly depended on an employee’s age, and there were tasks and stories requiring certainty, but as your bosses explained, there were not so many people ready for the horror stories, so they allowed people who were physically and externally old enough to buy appearance changing abilities.
As for you, a similar case happened once when you needed to appear a bit older than you looked. But other than that, how old were you actually, if you were to consider the years spent while traveling to other dimensions?
“I’m 18,” you replied. “And you?”
“I might appear younger than I actually am, so let the surprise remain till the end, what do you think?”
“O-okay?..”
Lilia giggled at how unsure yet accepting your answer was.
“What a beautiful song, really.”
“I believe so too,” you nodded. “But uhm, Lilia, could I ask you about something?”
“Go ahead!”
“Clover said that you… talk about me quite often. Is that true? Why would you do that?”
For a mere second the gleam in Lilia’s eyes disappeared, but you couldn’t say for sure what kind of emotion shadowed his face.
“Ha-ha, there’s something majestic about you. Makes me wonder if you’re really that cold and serious as you appear.”
“Excuse me?..”
“Ah, don’t get me wrong~” Vanrouge jumped off the sofa, then appeared before you in a flash, examining your face and making you flustered all of sudden. “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. You seem so mournful and wintry at times, but we just exchanged fairly mixed emotions, didn’t we?”
“What do you mean by ‘mixed’?” You asked, averting your gaze.
“You show just a bit of emotion around certain people, so I wondered what it takes to make you smile.”
You knitted your brows together, glancing askance at him, and met Lilia’s widened in surprise eyes. You shrugged away the confusion grown in you and approached him, non-verbally asking if he was okay due to the sudden disturbance, but he quickly regained his composure.
“Sorry~” He smiled. “It’s just that you… No, nevermind.”
“You’re strange, Lilia Vanrouge.”
And again he looked as if the world was about to cease within a second, and with similar impetuosity disappeared.
“So are you,” he grinned. “In any case, I’m glad I finally found you. Make sure to be more careful when you go somewhere alone, okay? And don’t sit on windowsills.”
“What are you, my dad?” You chuckled, but the depth and a hint of despair stored in his eyes made you swallow your joke. “Okay, I will. Sorry for making you… worry?”
Just how strange Lilia was, really. Not only did he talk vaguely and in riddles, but also appeared to be worried about you, however what was the reason behind?
“Just stay ali… safe. That is enough for my ha—”
“Lilia, we came!! How about we— Huh?”
And the day couldn’t be worse than it already started. Kalim and another person, who you remembered to be Cater Diamond, also a member of Light Music Club, entered the room with Kalim abruptly stopping talking when he saw you.
“Oh, Yuu?” He approached you, taking your hands in his and causing you to bite your lip to not say anything. “Hello! I’m Kalim Al-Asim, but you can call me—”
“Kalim, yes?” You answered before him, making Kalim part his lips slightly before continuing.
“Yep!! But uhm, Yuu, why do you look so dreadful? You should smile, I know you look so bright when you do!”
Cater and Lilia blinked at him, when you couldn’t help yourself but actually reciprocate Kalim’s generously huge smile.
“See! You’re so cute, Yuu! Just as I’ve told you!”
“Yuu-chan is surely cute,” Cater said. “But uhm. How did you know that? I don’t think you two met before?”
“Right,” Lilia nodded. “I do wonder, too.”
“Oh,” Kalim gasped. “Actually, I don’t know… It just happened.”
You clenched your shirt in your hand, but didn’t stop smiling, not noticing Lilia staring at you.
And also his heart filling up just slightly.
You’ve started questioning if Lilia’s route was really that hard as the system calculated. He was openly showing his unconcealed interest for you, and also he was the one approaching and finding you everywhere before you could even think about searching for him yourself.
He was ready to help you with anything, and he also was quite willing to listen to what you could tell, when you came up with ideas of what you two might talk about. Creating the ways of starting conversations was the hardest part, as you really didn’t know what was safe to say and what wasn’t.
But what confused you the most was Lilia’s heart icon.
Normally it would fill up thrice, or just twice in Kalim’s case, but Lilia’s one was inconsistent, wavering and uncertain, as if he himself couldn’t decide what he should think of you. After that one talk you had in the Light Music Club’s room you saw that there was a liquid in his heart, and the day after it just…
Disappeared.
You never knew it could happen and at first you were scared you'd fail, then you felt a relief that maybe there was a mistake in the system and you’ll be sent to the office shortly, but you never were. The system indicators were absolutely fine and showed no errors occurred, so the problem was in Lilia himself.
You could just say something, and the liquid in his heart would fill up to its third, then say something not so very different or surprising, and it would dissolve again. You asked Grim whether he knew something, but he also didn’t, so now your main task was to figure out what the hell was happening.
Maybe that was that 100% of the difficulty level of his route, but it still seemed simple with how devoted Vanrouge was, always meeting you and spending time with you.
Not to mention Lilia was strange to the point you couldn’t comprehend how you should feel about him. In the previous walkthroughs you learnt lessons, you tried to change and came to the realization you’ll never be the same, you’ve become vulnerable to no good if you were about to enter another horror or thriller.
“Yuu?”
You raised your head when you heard Lilia’s voice above you. The heart was filled to its third, and Lilia bent over to look at the book you were reading.
“Oh,” he said, taking a seat beside you under the tree in the school yard. “Right, there’s a magic history exam coming up that you first years will take, correct?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’ve been reading about Briar Valley’s war period.”
Lilia’s gaze turned more serious, which you’ve noticed, knowing he came from this country according to his profile, and didn’t want to pursue, so as to not recall unpleasant memories, but Lilia suddenly smiled and took the book you were holding in his hands.
“Okay let’s have a revision then!!”
“Huh?” You blinked. “But I haven’t read much and…”
“I’ll help, I’m good at history.”
“Alright…”
“So!” Lilia exclaimed. “Let’s see… What can you tell me about the pre-war period? The state of the people during the time.”
Despite how cheerful and friendly he tried to look, his eyes full of despair made you frown, but you tried to stay focused, and answered.
“Before the intervention happened,” you started. “The leadership of the Briar Valley took a number of political steps that attribute to the causes of the war, which are the nationalization of the means of production, banks and large-scale industry and the solution of the agrarian question in accordance with the program of the Briar Valley’s leadership, contrary to the interests of the landowners, which provoked the resistance of the previously ruling classes, who lost their property and…”
“Yuu,” Lilia interrupted you. “I see you’re quite knowledgeable and will definitely pass. But hm… Would you be so kind as to tell me what would you do if you were in common people’s shoes?”
“Me?” Your eyes widened. “Why?”
“Among people who lost everything and had nothing to do to escape this state were not so many people as calm as you are. So I’m quite…. Interested in your point of view.”
“I don’t think I can answer that?..”
“Alright, then… Let me rephrase that. If you were in the situation where you could save someone dear to you or save yourself, who would you choose?”
Lilia closed the book he was holding, and lowered his gaze, his pupils almost fading in a scary sorrow that slided down his eyes.
His route wasn’t just a simple one where he could just fall in love with you, or where you needed to fall in love with him — you still couldn’t. The feelings you’ve carried towards others weren’t love in its romantical way, as you thought, but your emotions that arose when communicating with Lilia resembled a huge ball of tangled multi-colored threads of different textures. Some were rough and even scabrous, like sandpaper, while others resembled flowing silk enveloping the mind and warming the heart.
And maybe that is precisely why his walkthrough happened to be so tough.
“Of course,” you looked straight up at him. “The dearest one. I’m not scared of dying.”
You looked at him in surprise when the liquid in his heart rose with a spring to the max, causing you to gasp and almost scream, but then something absolutely inadmissible happened.
His heart broke with a rattling sound, the liquid dissolved and disappeared, leaving just a glassy empty cracked vessel floating above his head.
“Lilia!!” You cried out, receiving a bitter smile from him.
What just happened?!
“Just as I thought, Yuu.”
“What do you mean?.. Are you alright?”
“Hm? Why would you ask that?”
“That was so sudden… Are you not satisfied with my answer?”
“This is not something I can enjoy for sure, don’t you think?” He chuckled. “But don’t worry, I just… I think I hoped you would choose yourself.”
“But… why?” You asked, your trembling hands being covered with Lilia’s steady ones. “I don’t understand. I won’t change my answer, but isn’t it only natural?”
“I think for kind people, such as you, it is. I would do that myself, there’s no denying. I already did once and… In any case,” he fixed a strand of your hair. “It just made me realize you probably don’t value your own life yourself.”
You looked at him confusedly.
“Why would you think so?”
“Who knows,” he shrugged. “But it’s quite… upsetting. You resemble them so much…”
Them? You wondered who he meant by referring like that, but it was a valuable clue in how to finish his route, which by now resembled not just a walkthrough of a silly otome game character, but an extremely confusing, yet holistic individual.
Them, huh. Then maybe… Was your purpose not to make Lilia fall in love with you, but something else? And what would that even be?
“I need to go,” Vanrouge suddenly dropped, standing up and looking at you, who grabbed his sleeve subconsciously without thinking. “Good luck on your exams, Yuu.”
“Lilia, wait!”
He paused for a moment, trying to find something particular in your eyes, and patted your head, demonstrating a deplorable smile.
“I hope you’ll manage to find something that will make you cherish yourself.”
You stared at his distant silhouette and did not notice how a single tear rolled down your left cheek, leaving behind a crooked wet path.
Lilia’s route was surely an uncommon one. You wanted to howl with how hard the difficulty level hit you, starting from Lilia following you and helping with anything to him ignoring and avoiding you. And you knew he did that because he also suspected something about you, not just because of the words you’ve said.
And it was confusing.
You couldn’t find him anywhere, no matter what. You even tried overcoming yourself and willingly approached Kalim to ask if he knew where Lilia was, but he surprisingly didn’t, leaving you with nothing but a cracking feeling in your chest after that little interaction.
In previous routes, even if there were pauses, like Leona was just busy dealing with something, they never avoided you for about three weeks in a row. You were going insane with how you actually wanted to understand what was wrong, to figure out feelings Lilia carried within his heart, why would the heart icon break, and who were they he mentioned.
Which is why you decided to bring him a bouquet of flowers you were going to pick yourself. It was nothing much, you would probably not be able to find him at all, but at least you wanted to give him something. If your idea fails, then alright, you’ll just pass him the bouquet through his classmates or clubmates.
You remembered the forest you went to in your first walkthrough, wanting to find a mushroom for Jade. The same landscape, the same dull and cold weather, you having no equipment—it felt almost nostalgic. You didn’t plan to go deep further, just to pick some flowers without reaching the cliff you fell off in Jade’s route.
Ah of course, it was storming and thundering right when you reached the forest.
You were shivering out of the cold wind and freezing raindrops, but there was no other choice. Not to mention there were also flowers that blossomed only in cold weather and should be picked only when it’s raining. Which is why you stubbornly went further, ignoring weather conditions, and found a small meadow surrounded by majestic firs.
There was no moon in the sky, given it was covered with dark clouds, and you lowered your head, discovering plenty of beautiful flowers and starting picking them. Both your clothes and hands were covered in dirt while you picked flowers, but you didn’t seem to care, opening the system tabs and checking the meaning of certain plants. You wanted to express your feelings in a correct way without misinterpreting anything and—
“Ouch,” you clicked your tongue. “You’re quite spiky, huh…”
You pulled out a tiny flower with thin petals, noticing an unexpectedly thick trunk with sharp thorns, and felt your finger slightly paralyzed.
“Shit…” You’ve whispered, checking out the system tab. “It’s…”
“Yuu!!”
You thought you’ve misheard, because the heavy rain was getting stronger, the wind mercilessly burned the skin with its sharp breaths and howls. But when you turned, trying to recognize the silhouette which you think appeared somewhere in front of you, you were thrown to the ground, being squeezed in a strong hug.
“H-huh…”
You were surprised, you really were, and yet you felt so weak and unsteady.
“You fool,” you recognized Lilia’s worried voice. “You idiot!!”
“You’re the one to talk,” you chuckled. “Avoiding me and then cursing me. What’s gotten into you?!”
“Just don’t go,” he demanded, tightening his grip on you, lying on top of you, who was still holding the flower. “Don’t go in the same way they did. Don’t die, Yuu. I’m begging…”
“Lilia… I’m not dying, see?”
“This flower…” You felt his lips somewhere in the crook of your neck. “Is poisonous.”
Which you already discovered when pricking and checking out the file the system provided you with. It really was, but you had saved the walkthrough before entering the forest and—
“I’m not letting you die here.”
“But that’s alright, given you’ve come. I was worried and—”
“Can you please worry about yourself for once?!”
You paused for a moment. Right, he didn’t know you couldn’t die in the first place.
But did it really matter? He reprimanded you, demanded you to cherish your life, yourself…
“Lilia, tell me… Did something happen to them, so now you correlate that case with mine?”
Vanrouge took your hand in his, frowning and placing a soft kiss on the place where you were pricked, and now it was you who started panicking.
“Idiot, if it’s poisonous, then you will!..”
“I won’t.” Lilia answered. “Faes are stronger than you, humans. This little flower won’t kill me.”
“There’s no need to worry about me, too.”
“You stupid!” He cried, cupping your face in his face. “Stupid Yuu. Your pupils are almost gone, you can’t even move your hands properly already. How come you’re so calm when you’re literally dying!?”
“Why would you care!!”
You clenched your hands into fists, curling your fingers into your palms as if shivering in pain, and exhaled painfully slowly, closing your eyes.
In fact, you knew. You’ve realized just as they’re not only characters of a game you’ve crushed into, they were more humanic then you yourself were. They’ve taught you different feelings.
But from the obsessive thoughts that you really melted the crust of thick ice that covered your true essence, capable of loving; you wanted to escape from these thoughts, the stubborn belief that putting on a mask of alienation and indifference was the most correct decision was about to disappear, had you only look in Lilia’s worried eyes.
While you wanted them to be not just game characters and experience different feelings, you also desired for yourself to be a doll without any bright emotions.
“Why would I, you ask? Really?” He whispered, laughing nervously. “Fine. You do resemble my first lover who died long long ago. Just like you’re about to do, they also pricked their finger and died from poison.”
You frowned, avoiding meeting his stare.
“And they also didn’t care about themselves. They wished for me to be happy, for me to be alive. And I was there, a fae who couldn’t die that easily, witnessing their death.”
“I’m sorry for your loss…”
“Shut it,” he leaned closer to you, but there was no warmth in his actions, and squeezed your hand, which you couldn’t feel anymore. “You’re not them. You’re… You don’t care about yourself to the very last second of your life. I wanted to prevent you from getting into trouble, because I was simply scared.”
“But who am I to you? Just another mere human, what did I do for you to worry so hard?”
“Something absolutely irrational,” he chuckled.
“What? Did I just remind you of your previous lover?”
“Quite the opposite. Remember when we talked about sacrifices?”
“Yes, what about that?”
He settled into a sitting position, taking off his jacket and pulling it over you, knowing that it was useless in this situation.
“You’ve said you’re not scared of dying. My first love also wasn’t. But they chose themselves.”
“And I chose the dearest one to me…”
“They pricked their finger when collecting flowers, because there was a legend that the flower could heal. They were already on the verge of death due to illness, but… They weren’t afraid to die, yet desperately searched for a way to live.”
“Lilia, I… I’m sorry.”
He sighed, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Don’t be. I couldn’t find the reason for you to treasure your life.”
You wanted to smile at him to avoid further discussion, but at the same time… You thought that you did.
It seemed to you that there was no point in denying it, and you closed your eyes sharply, hoping to blink away this strange feeling that you really wanted to live. To live and remember everything that happened, all the emotions and tingles in the chest.
“Every time… it feels like I'm learning a lesson…” You said vaguely. “To treasure small moments, to believe in myself and others, to smile genuinely, to let myself feel loved… And now, to treasure my life.”
“Ha,” Vanrouge chuckled. “Yuu, what kind of life did you live before that no one told you the things that make you human?”
Your smile was just as nebulous as your answer.
“I’m not sure if I was human before.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind… Lilia, I… Even if I may sound stupid, please let me thank you for letting me know that I should treasure myself.”
One his smile, one his tight hold of your hand, and the bright light filling up his heart bursted out of it, enveloping you in it.
“So that was the purpose of your route, huh,” you laughed.
“Route?” He asked, drawing you closer to his chest.
“You know, I wasn’t scared of death because I can’t die twice. I would just… reload the game and start again. And now, since I’ve finished your route, I’ll get into another one. But you won’t remember that.”
“Ha!” Lilia smirked. “I’ll never forget you, Yuu. And a fae can’t lie.”
You just smiled to him, enjoying his determination and managing to reciprocate his gentle touch, not feeling anything in your hand.
┆₊ ⊹ the song in lilia's part — nct u - from home
“Something’s not right, Yuu.”
“What?..”
Everything seemed quite alright to you. Your usual post-walkthrough experience, Grim nagging about something, another route to finish, another emotion to develop, you levitating in a strange void… Wait.
Void?
“Where are we?”
Usually you could witness such a sight when transferring into another world. Familiar empty arrays, slightly interrupted by multi-colored digital fibers, waves of supersonic flew around.
“Wait, Grim!! Look!”
You pointed at the loading bar, indicating another world loading progression, and grabbed Grim’s paw, drawing him closer, being flown away somewhere further.
“The fuck?”
“Oi, language,” you said. “But… What is going on? I haven’t finished Idia’s route! I haven’t even started it!”
“This is strange.”
But the profiles popped up, switching from one to another, and you noticed Idia’s one literally smashing into your face, causing you to gasp.
“Ugh!”
Before observing what the system tab introduced to you, you managed to look at Lilia’s ‘COMPLETED’ line which became common at this point, and, sighing, switched to Idia, gasping the second after.
No portrait, no information, everything being blurred or written in ??????
Nothing.
“I don’t understand what is going on,” you said. “At all!”
“I thought we’re transmigrating to another story.”
“The boss couldn’t just let us transfer to another dimension without introducing the details.”
“That little punk.”
“Hey, he’s our boss after all.”
“Little shit who let you suffer without any warning.”
“Grim…” You smiled at him. “Alright, is there any information available?”
“Nah. Nothing at all. But I guess we’re about to figure it out.”
A bright flash ripping out the space let you know that you were about to enter another (?) world, and held Grim closer to you, ready to witness what was about to happen.
And more importantly, what happened to Idia’s route?
Digital waves floated around Idia, breaking space and distorting it. Idia squinted in discomfort and because of the crackle of sparks in the processor of his computer, when a deafening explosion was heard, and space waves came out with distorted algorithms, system errors popped up every now and then, and Idia just growled in indignation.
“Uh, the hell?”
He rubbed his eyes with the dry fingers, discovering to his delight that the soda in the can hadn't spilled from the sudden rupture of the universe, and exhaled heavily with a creak, opening the profile that flashed in the system window.
Yuu.
No surname, no age, just an occupation — interdimensional traveler (genres: thriller & horror).
“Aaah…shit.”
Idia yawned, taking a cheese chip and biting it. While looking to improve his equipment and extract materials that could be used in Ortho's various gears, one day Idia stumbled upon a very strange glitch in the system.
At first he thought it was another error he could fix, but when system windows started popping up everywhere not just on his computer’s monitor, but in freaking reality, Idia realized he maybe perhaps possibly potentially very likely needed more sleep juuuuust a bit.
Idia chuckled, unimpressed, and quickly glanced over system tabs, seeing profiles of people of this college. Wha, how wonderful, he REALLY did want to see them, uh-huh— The hell?
“Not even dorm leaders,” Idia noticed, leafing through the files. “Riddle-shi would be so pissed off he wasn’t mentioned lmao.”
What a strange order. First Jade Leech, the second year of Octavinelle, then suddenly Leona Kingscholar, Kalim Al-Asim being next…
“Yoooo, Azul-shi?” Idia chuckled, stumbling upon his clubmate profile. “What kind of game is that lol.”
The more he checked, the more he was getting confused. Alright, it wasn’t the info that couldn’t be obtained at all, after all everyone knows that Al-Asim is an extremely wealthy family, and Kingscholar is even royalty, but what was the ‘DIFFICULTY LEVEL’ parameter?
“Damn Lilia-shi is impressive for sure,” Idia nodded to himself, pulling another chip out of the package. “100% difficulty, must be hard…. Not for me tho ofc~”
If there was a difficulty level in each profile, that was probably some sort of a game, right? So Idia thought before stumbling upon his own profile being blurred completely.
“Ayo the fuck?” He chuckled in disbelief. “That’s my name!!”
Unknown difficulty level? Well that’s obvious, given he’s the boss, the main character!!..
The main character? Wait a moment.
“Yuu,” Idia mumbled and repeated. “Yuu, huh. What the hell interdimensional traveler even means?”
Some time passed with Idia investigating who the hell you were in the first place, and couldn’t find anything.
He leaned to his PC, checking out the monitors, and noticed you on one of the cameras in the school. Uh-huh, so that's where you were…
Sipping the coffee Jade Leech brewed, you enjoyed the conversation you’ve had. Idia cringed at witnessing such an awkward situation, averting his gaze and not noticing the dismal look in your eyes.
“If Yuu-shi’s main genres are thriller and horror, does it mean we here live in one, too?” Idia muttered to himself. “No wait, isn’t it like, incredible discovery, scientific breakthrough? Shouldn’t I let the world know there are more universes we imagined, and here’s living proof?”
The ‘living proof’, you that would be, was currently heading out to Ramshackle, where Idia had no cameras, thus he just decided to create your profile himself, filling out the details according to the data he was obtaining.
“Ugh,” he cringed. “Feels awkward.”
It did. You were interesting enough to know you better, but huh—he wasn’t a fool to interact with you firsthand, right?! He promised to himself he wouldn’t obtain anything that would violate your privacy, and come to think of it, your every interaction with anyone wasn’t concealed from strangers’ eyes. You were on the school grounds, it was only natural he could overhear… Shit.
“I’m garbage,” he concluded, dropping his face in his hands and sighing with a heaviness in his chest. “But Yuu’s too strange.”
Idia couldn’t let himself get some sleep. Not when your activity suddenly went up almost at night and you headed to the freaking forest! What were you thinking, really?!
But wait.
“What is that thing…”
Idia leaned closer to the screen and gasped, noticing familiar flying system tabs around you. The camera he installed was too far away to see exactly what the tabs were portraying, but there was no denying that you brought those strange flying windows when landed here in Twisted Wonderland.
And again, there were no cameras in the forest, but Idia was waiting for you to come out. It’s not prohibited to enter the forest on your own, but given it was the school for magicians, they surely could protect themselves from anything happening, however you? You possessed no magic, and Idia already checked that—you were magicless to the bone—but didn’t you think it was at least reckless to go to the forest when it was dark and cold?
He thought you were stupid, really. You didn’t come out for some time, and when he was ready to drop his face on the keyboard and faint due to fatigue, sound sensors suddenly arose, and your scream was heard.
“What’s happening there?!”
He tried checking other cameras and found the one close to the further part of the forest, which demonstrated a view near the cliff, and noticed your figure, which appeared a bit distorted on the camera, always glitching and emitting flashy sparks.
“Yuu-shi is surely something,” Idia mumbled. “And… uh? Isn’t it Jade-shi?”
No way just WHAT WAS THAT thing above his head??
A heart-shaped icon filled to its half with a pink strange liquid.
“Isn’t it like,” Idia bit his lip, eyes widening in disbelief. “An otome game thing?”
No way. Literally no way.
If you were an interdimensional traveler, that meant Twisted Wonderland was just another world you’ve entered, a book-like story with the effect of full immersion from the first person perspective, your perspective, to be precise—yeah, he got that already. But weren’t your genres thriller and horror? So what’s with that cringey heart icon and the way Jade-shi looked at you?!
There must be an error in the system you’ve brought. And wait…
If Jade was listed the first in profiles, Idia being the last… didn’t it mean that he was about to be wooed by you?!
“Ha, you wish,” he laughed nervously, his heartbeat accelerating rapidly.
The nature of that icon was yet to be investigated. Did it appear instantly after your arrival? Idia stood up, stretching and hearing an unpleasant sound of his vertebrae cracking after sitting for so long, then made his way to the mirror and frowned. There was no icon or whatsoever.
Okay, then it did mean that the icon appeared only when you enter your love interests routes, right?
He himself was safe for a time being. Interested in what the hell was going on, yes indeed, but also scared.
Didn’t it mean he needed to fall in love with you to complete the mission? And hey, why was Jade-shi so calm about it? It was obvious something wasn’t right with you, so how could he believe you so easily? Moreover, why compete with others when there literally were figures like Leona-shi or Lilia-shi?
After you were rescued and headed over to Ramshackle, he closed his eyes and plunged on the bed, ready to howl in indignation.
Days passed, and a festival with the firework show you’ve prepared came. Idia didn’t care much, being able to watch right in his room, not to mention he possessed no interest at all, watching you getting on the rooftop instead.
Jade came not so long after, and when Idia thought it was still stupid to overhear you, but he needed that to figure out how to behave and what to do, the heart-shaped icon above Jade-shi’s head suddenly started glowing slightly, filling up with pink liquid to the max.
The icon started radiating bright light, and that was when he noticed how shocked you were, how your face became overshadowed with fear and agony, and frowned himself. You looked like an anime character at the denouement of the story, but that was right when he realized himself.
If the route was coming to an end, what was about to happen with him? Will he forget everything? Shit, that would complicate his research, no no no!!
The last thing he saw before the light filled his own room was your sad yet bright smile on the screen, and then the world went out.
“Ugh…”
When Idia woke up, he noticed a strange pricking feeling in his chest, then rushed to the PC.
“You gotta be kidding…”
Your image and a progress indicator under the photo suddenly popped up in front of him.
20% of completion.
He checked Jade Leech’s profile which already turned gray and unavailable to interact with anymore, but then Leona’s profile popped up, showing 0% of completion.
“So I… remember everything?”
A strange joy blossomed in his chest for a brief moment before a realization hit, notifying that he needed to continue investigating. And that he also still was one of the targets.
“Mkay,” he muttered, getting out of bed and crawling on the chair, feeling sleep deprived and hungry. Who cared about food anyway? “Let’s continue, Yuu-shi.”
What was his role in this game though? Well, he obviously meant to be the main character with extra imbalance abilities! But after waking up and remembering everything that happened, especially your unnaturally distorted gaze, he started questioning his own purpose in this charade.
“Haiz,” he chuckled, noticing how you already found Leona-shi. Was he sniffing you?! “Damn he’s surely feline…”
“The smell, not of magic, but similar. Also like that fish guy?”
Idia knitted brows together, wondering what could Leona know. It appeared Kingscholar didn’t remember anything about you at all, but still carried a feeling that you and Jade-shi already interacted.
“So he doesn’t know that’s a game,” Idia concluded, nodding to himself and adding the obtained info to his databases, his fingers flying above the keyboard. “Which makes Yuu-shi and me the only ones who know.”
Despite how proud he was for feeling himself being so special and extraordinary, he rolled up his sleeves and scratched his head in confusion, trying to form a logically adequate chain of events and arguments in order to come to an unambiguous decision as a result, but, alas, his attempts were unsuccessful.
What scared him the most was the possibility of being the last love interest. He remembered protagonists of otome games, mainly they were kind individuals with bright personalities, or with no personalities at all. He preferred the last ones, they were close to his own blank gloomy self, to feel himself being the main hero of the story, to insert his own thoughts into the walkthrough, but you?
You weren’t so overkindly and bubbly as he first you would. Your decisions were rational at first, and you perhaps were provided with no knowledge about how romance worked, judging by your slow progression, the majority of which happened because of the natural charm and characters being enchantingly attracted to you… or so he thought.
Idia howled when a stupid thought ran across his mind at the speed of light, piercing him through and screaming ‘Yuu-shi is really charming tho…’, and quickly brushed it off, shaking his head. Argh, that was all useless!! You were aiming for his heart, not the icon, but real heart, his real feelings and the ability to love. And to hell with you, he didn’t want to love you!!
He didn’t want to imagine what happens with him when you leave.
Locks of his hair scattered all over the table when Leona-shi suddenly kissed you in front of others. Oi, wasn’t it too much?!
Idia wondered if the smile with which you replied to Leona was really genuine, or was it a perfect act for you to escape his route freely?
Days passing from route to route felt like ages. After Leona the time consumed for completing was extending, and when Kalim’s walkthrough dropped, Idia wanted to ignore you at all cost.
He could understand your previous self with an extremely concealed demeanor, rational and logical thinking, a goal to finish everything and get back home—where was it, by the way?—but as for now, you’ve started experiencing transformations of your soul.
Your emotions became more open and vivid, your normally efficient and sensible ways of thinking were affected by a variety of feelings, which Idia himself was unable to distinguish. Was it the softness of your heart or an honest desire to open up? Ugh, normies things…
“Oi, isn’t his heart already full?!”
Idia checked the icon above Kalim’s head and gasped. Damn, the system that you’ve carried around here was surely impressive, demonstrating how feelings could work. Kalim-shi was most definitely full of love towards you, why hasn't his route finished already?
Apparently a strange thing called ‘feelings’ was the problem. Being in love with you but not allowing himself to express it because he refrained himself and wished for other people’s happiness in the first place? What a strange guy. If that would be Idia…
Wait, what would he do?
“Let your own heart decide.”
Idia tensed up.
You weren’t saying it for him, but the sharp cutting sensation that pierced his chest made Idia wince at the vagueness of his emotions, and he clenched the jacket in his fist.
Will there be any feelings left for him when you get on his route?
“Shit, what an absurd way of thinking,” he laughed at himself. What a fool.
He should have avoided you at all cost!!
But actually seeing you coming to his clubmate, the one he could consider a friend, and asking for boldly falling in love with him?! Yuu-shi, you’re extremely insane, huh?
Okay, that was your purpose all along—to make Azul fall in love with you—but argh!! Hugging in a narrow staff room?!
Idia averted his gaze, questioning your emotions. Were you just collecting people like toys, limited cards in your collection, to just leave casually when it’s over? He didn’t want to become one of them, to develop at least a tiny something towards you to be left all alone. Again.
At one point Idia thought it would be interesting to watch you interacting with Vil-shi, given how perfectly you played the role of being the protagonist, the one who attracted everyone.
Yes, it was for the best. It was the simplest way to think of you like that, a villain destroying everyone’s hearts.
So that he wouldn’t feel so lonely himself.
When Lilia’s route started, Idia has woken up with an insanely strong migraine making him slightly worried. The more walkthroughs you passed, the more he was feeling strange.
“I wonder if Azul-shi will remember what Yuu-shi told him…”
Maybe he actually should have gone and checked on him, but Idia quickly shrugged the thought off.
“Oh?”
Your image suddenly appeared to be too close to the camera he installed, and Idia wondered where you were, given you were sitting on a windowsill. Okay, Light Music Club’s room. And you were…
You were singing softly. Your voice was pleasant to hear, nothing out of the ordinary, but still fairly nice to enjoy. Not to mention your dreamy face yet shadowed with a glimpse of sadness… Why were you so gloomy at times anyway? Just play your role, ugh.
And Lilia-shi was also strange. According to him, you appeared to be resembling someone… What kind of Surrealistic Messenger experience was that, huh? What were you, a Nika?
You really had no logic left, going to the forest from your first walkthrough again, huh? And it rained heavily, too, but Idia couldn’t see what was happening there. But when the bright light started beaming through the trees, Idia exhaled freely.
It was also the moment he realized.
He was the next and the last route.
You stared at the black space, hearing almost nothing, and the familiarity got you thinking that all of the things happening you had already witnessed once. Just right when you landed here in Twisted Wonderland.
You tried outstretching your hand, meeting with a thud, and you chuckled to yourself, prying off the coffin lid and removing it from the hinges, taking one step out.
“Grim?”
“Henchman…”
Grim found you, who was wearing the ceremonial robe, and you two ended up bursting with hysterical laughter, when Crowley came and noticed you…
No way. No way it was just as on your first day of transmigrating here!!
Same people, same places, same events, same dialogues…
Same mirror proclaiming you’re magicless.
Everything was just the same!!
“Grim,” you whispered to him while Crowley was searching for the books to try figuring out where you came from. You always mentioned other worlds’ places in those kinds of situations, because your boss demanded you not say anything personal. “Check out if the status of the game has changed.”
“Got it.”
You saw Grim summoning the system interface, but a sudden abrupt flash made you close your eyes for a moment, and when you opened them, you saw tabs glitching and lagging around you, distorting the space.
“What the…”
“Hm?” Crowley turned to you, apparently scanning your face, but you couldn’t say for sure because of his mask. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Crowley-sensei,” you smiled at him.
“Yuu!” Grim in your hands looked at you with widened eyes and whispered. “What’s happening with the system?!”
“I don’t know,” you answered with your lips only. “How’s the status?”
“Check it yourself…”
But before you could check, Crowley turned to you, proclaiming he can’t find the place you’ve come from. The very same scenario, you going to the Ramshackle, meeting with ghosts…
With only one small exception in the form of constantly sparkling elements of the system, alternately popping up here and there.
“Yuu, we haven’t got enough time for that. Check the genre!!!”
You instantly sank to your knees, unable to believe your eyes. Your heart thumped wildly in your chest, forcing you to turn to Grim, stunned.
“F-fantasy?..” You double-checked yourself, but then saw a window with all the profiles, their statuses still the same, Lilia being the last completed one. “But Idia’s route?..”
“And you asked me to watch my tongue,” Grim frowned. “That little shit you call our boss didn’t even leave us the way to contact him during walkthroughs!!! And what if something like that happens?!”
“It’s not about him, Grim,” you tried to recover, standing up and noticing little glitches flashing everywhere in the room. “Let’s try figuring out what we should do now.”
“Find that Idia guy and finish his route, what else, fugnya.”
You lowered your gaze.
Wasn’t it an opportunity given to you as a gift? If the genre switched from otome to fantasy, then there was no obligation to complete Idia’s route. No need to let him—and you—suffer, wasn’t it the only right thing to do?
You took a deep breath. You knew it wasn’t. Idia’s route was still marked as ‘IN PROGRESS’, meaning you still had to fulfill your duties, but also…
Wasn’t it a loophole?
“I know what you’re thinking,” Grim touched your hand with his paw. “I know you’re freaking tired of this shit, me too, but Yuu—”
“No, Grim,” you laughed at yourself, tears appearing in the corners of your eyes. “I can’t. I will not. Finish his route. Just… Let’s just enjoy the fantasy story which is supposed to be completed even without us interfering.”
Grim wasn’t sure. You yourself thought it was stupid, irresponsible, your boss will probably just drag you out of here so to reprimand—you didn’t care at all.
You wanted to avoid Idia Shroud at all costs.
Giving you credit, you actually succeeded in your desire to avoid Idia. But trouble does not come alone, and instead of Idia, who, surprisingly, couldn’t be found anywhere at all, you managed to repeatedly stumble upon people from previous routes.
But what you feared the most was the system distortion, glitches and lags.
The endless flickering of digital fibers, appearing in a chaotic pattern, pierced people. The color correction of the world broke down, jumping from exaggerated, poisonously bright colors to black-and-white scraps of space. The voices sometimes went into ultrasonics, causing you and Grim to wince in dislike. System windows danced around in a digital frenzy.
It all resembled the digital apocalypse. But even with those little ‘errors’ you could still interact with others.
But not with those who were the dearest to you.
“Y̸̘̒ũ̸ͅȗ̴͜-̷̹̎s̴͍͂ä̵̖́n̸̻̄.̵̨̚”
You turned to meet Jade’s usual polite smile, a hand on his chest.
“Jade?..” You were hesitant to speak with him at first, but a sudden mechanical corrupted voice managed to scare you. “Hello?..”
He tried saying something, but he did not move at all, not the slightest sigh, not a quivering gleam in his beautiful eyes—absolutely nothing. He was frozen.
You wanted to hurry and get someone’s help, but just when you ran away and turned for a moment to make sure he was still standing still—he wasn’t… He moved, returning to his usual routine, and turned to the suddenly approaching Riddle.
Something wasn’t right.
You were convinced of this when you stepped on Leona's tail in the botanical garden, completely forgetting about this event. His reaction was exactly the same—he was like a stone frozen in time, and, unlike Jade, not telling you anything, but the system windows were frantically jumping around his silhouette.
Kalim froze with a smile you grew to love on his face, and Azul, when he met you, apparently was going to kiss your wrist, but they all froze like broken dolls at the behest of the puppeteer.
And Lilia was nowhere to be seen at all.
“I don’t understand…”
You lamented, looking at the huge glitch, reminding you of black hole which was absorbing system tabs into itself, and you were sitting near it, outstretching your hand and feeling nothing at all.
You were immune to the system’s influence, how very ironical and—
“U-ugh…”
You turned to the voice’s source and gasped when a sudden flash of bright blue flickered before your eyes for a moment, then disappeared.
“Huh, I think I saw someone just now…”
You stood up from the grass field you were sitting on, and came closer to the tree in the school yard, hearing a ‘Eek!!!’ full of fear, and blinked twice.
“E-excuse me!!”
“Oh?..”
You saw a very tall figure hiding from you behind the tree and trying to cover his face with the hood of his hoodie.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m Yuu. Sorry for scaring you.”
“I-if you’re sorry, then just go!!..”
Blue flames billowed from under his hood in waves, and you were surprised at how sweet the man's voice was.
“W-what are you looking at?!”
“Your hair,” you said, spellbound. “It’s very beautiful.”
“U-ugh…”
The person took his hood off, and you parted your lips in surprise.
You stared amazed at the gold of his eyes, not understanding what you were so hooked on in him, but the non-standard of his beauty completely left you speechless, and a slight glimmer of blush was born on your cheeks.
“Ah!” You exclaimed, turning away. “I’m being so rude… It’s just you’re really good-looking.. Ugh, sorry.”
“S-stop it, I’m begging. I’m not, o-okay? Now go.”
“Okay, but… What is your name?”
“You don’t need to know it…”
You looked at him, pouting and lowering your gaze, when a pink hue on the tips of his hair went unnoticed by you.
“Alright… I’ll get going then. See you later?”
“Maybe never.”
The rudeness he demonstrated somehow didn’t sound so bitter, and you smiled at him, then walked away.
“Please never interact with me…” He muttered to himself, approaching the huge glitch. “I don’t want to be the next.”
After two weeks of such randomly non-random meetings, Idia realized that, apparently, according to the law of the protagonists of otome games, there was nowhere to escape from you.
Of course, he could not really understand why the hell everything around was suddenly covered with digital holes and errors, but obviously it was related to you.
He wanted to study them himself, but the cameras he set up around the college sometimes didn't capture the biggest system bugs, not to mention they constantly popped up wherever you were for a while. Apparently others couldn’t see the world glitching, and you yourself possessed no knowledge about those errors, so he just had to go out of his room.
Even though he managed not to reveal his name for a long time—he was extremely apprehensive that you would recognize him as your last remaining love interest and start going through his route—yet you were in no particular hurry to look for him.
Didn’t you… need to finish his route and come back home? Why were you blankly staring at all those errors and glitches and doing nothing?
Not to mention that you sincerely tried to get to know him personally, never once again asking his name.
You confronted him every time he needed to investigate another huge system error that had arisen, and you simply nodded silently, smiling. The first week really passed peacefully and calmly, until something unimaginable for his consciousness happened at the beginning of the second.
“Meow-meow~”
M-meow?..
Idia was walking to the place where another hole with errors appeared, and heard your voice—it was unmistakable yours. W-what in the world were you doing?..
What he saw shocked him.
You were stroking the ear of a kitten that laid in front of you and purred, playing with it and smiling radiantly.
“Y-Yuu-shi…”
“Oh? Ah, fiery-senpai.”
“T-that stupid name again… What are you d-doing?”
You smiled at him, taking the kitten in your hands and drawing him closer to his face, placing one little smooth on his nose.
“Isn’t it cute?”
Headshot!! Huge damage taken!! Apply a HP restoring potion!!
“C-cute…” He mumbled, his hair glowing bright red. “Y-yuu-shi is… UGHM.”
“Come here.”
You took his hand in yours and made him sit beside you. Just what the audacity you had!..
The cat started purring with more intensity when Idia touched it, and you giggled at how cute the scene looming before you was.
You didn’t want to escape this reality, even with an insane amount of bugs and errors corrupting the dimension.
For a month Idia was meeting you, approaching you more and more against (in fact, not really resisting) his will. You seemed like an absolutely normal person, and it was frightening. Shouldn't the universe travelers be... different? Non-standard, possess some kind of superpowers, or easily repair these interdimensional holes? You seemed to be the most ordinary person with completely natural human emotions. Your actions were dictated by curiosity, kindness and care. You brought Idia food more than once, showed photos of kittens, respected his personal boundaries and always left without asking what he was going to do alone.
It was unbearably hard. Feelings flourished in his chest, and every day, returning to his room, Idia flopped on the bed, clutching his jacket in his fist, and repeated how crazy he was.
Feelings ate him from the inside. How the hell was that shameless and stupid!! Wasn't love in otome built on the fact that the characters went through a string of dramatic events, experienced incredible adventures, scandals, breakups and emotional declines, and then tragically confessed their love to each other?
How the hell could he screw up his one and only task — not to fall in love with you at all costs, and eventually fail miserably, and even under such idiotic circumstances?!
How could he let you take his feelings and... understand them?
“I’m pathetic,” he laughed to himself, studying the data he obtained. “But Yuu won’t know…”
He will not allow that. Maybe.
You held Grim closer to you, exhaling fresh air while sitting on the bench—which was unusual for you, who could be easily spotted on the grass or windowsill—and took a sip of a cup of hot chocolate. It was already February declaring its rights, and deepened in your thoughts.
The world was half destroyed. Multi-colored digital errors were no longer just popping up alternately anywhere, but were actively integrated into the structure, into the very subcortex of the world. The forest near the school was replaced by a digitized version, black holes in space that no one saw except you replaced entire rooms and even buildings.
To be honest, it just looked disgusting.
Previous emotional draining routes were completed, and now, when you yourself wanted to avoid Idia Shroud’s one at all cost, because you were simply scared, Idia decided to become quieter than water and lower than grass.
The information you’ve acquired was rather dull and sullen — Idia was known for being a complete shut-in, an introverted person who usually never comes out of his room. Impudently pouncing into his personal space, Ignihyde dormitory, seemed somewhat violent to you, especially taking into account that you needed to receive his love.
You wanted to respect his privacy, but also wanted to know what kind of person he is.
And just when you wanted to think about avoiding asking anyone from your previous walkthroughs, Lilia appeared before you, floating midair and smiling rather cheekily, causing you to almost spit your drink.
But more importantly, he seemed extremely alive, unlike others.
“Ugh, uh…” You coughed. “Li… Vanrouge.”
“Hm? What’s with the sudden coldness?”
“Sudden?..” You echoed, furrowing your brows. “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just we haven’t talked much before…”
Lilia took your hand, the one that was holding Grim, who expressed an annoyed sound and stared at Vanrouge, and placed a smooch on the finger you’ve pricked in his route.
“Is that how you greet me after having all that life and death type of conversation?”
You jolted, abruptly standing up and almost dropping Grim from your lap, to which Lilia only laughed.
“You remember?!” You screamed, noticing you drew too much attention, and lowered your voice. “But how?”
“Remember I told you I’ll never forget? This is why.”
“N-no, wait… I mean, others have only tiny glimpses of memories about me, but they don’t have entire routes stored in their minds!! Not to mention they’re… Ugh.”
“Calm down, Yuu. To be honest, I’m not sure how it works, either. Tell me more about your case, we’ll figure something out. Maybe you haven’t finished my, hmmm, route, you said?”
You summoned the system tab that got almost sunk into the black hole, which Lilia couldn’t see, and checked twice and even thrice — ‘COMPLETED’ were written in caps.
“I have,” you said.
“That Idia guy’s profile also opened,” Grim mentioned.
“Idia?” Lilia repeated. “He’s your next target?”
“Target… Yes, you can say so… Do you know anything about him?”
“Quite a lot of information I normally wouldn’t share, but in your case…” Lilia frowned. “But Yuu, will you go home after finishing?”
“I… Don’t have home,” you explained. “I’ll return back to the office where I’ll be appointed to another story. But before that I’ll ask why in the world did I land here, Twisted Wonderland is not our main genre.”
“Where were you before?”
“Better not ask,” Grim advised, to which you nodded. “Nothing good.”
“Makes me want to ask more!” Lilia giggled. “But alright. Even though I don’t really want to let you go, considering I’m extremely worried about your safety… I believe you should go and ask what caused the error. As for Idia Shroud…”
You and Grim saw system tabs randomly popping up and glitching, to which Lilia tilted his head, but you shook yours, gesturing to him to continue speaking.
“He’s a nice kid, actually. A twisted one, as we all here are, but I sense no ill feelings radiating from him. He has a rather complicated personality, so I suggest you be patient.”
“Twisted, hm,” you nodded, trying to ignore glitch intensification.
“His family works under an organization dealing with phantoms and blot research. So make sure to—”
“Good morning, Lilia Vanrouge-san, Yuu-san, Grim-san!”
A robotic cheerful voice greeted you, and you stared at the appeared humanoid with… was that fire on his head?.. Wait a second.
“Oho~” Lilia smirked. “Morning, little Shroud.”
Little Shroud?.. Did Idia have a brother?
“Good morning,” you greeted him. “And you’re?”
“Ortho Shroud!” A child humanoid introduced himself. “Nice to meet you, Yuu-san!”
“How can we be of help?” Lilia asked.
“I’m sorry for interrupting, but I need to talk to Yuu-san and Grim-san directly.”
“Oh, then you should know that I’m not leaving Yuu’s side. So if you want to talk, please don’t mind me, but I won’t leave~”
“I’m afraid I can allow that,” Ortho replied cheerfully.
You tried standing up, but staggered and changed glances with Grim, who also felt dizzy and out of place for a moment, before Ortho pulled up a tablet, which suddenly started floating on itself.
“U-uhm…” A voice was heard, coming from the tablet. “E-excuse me, Lilia-shi… B-but I need to t-talk to them… alone.”
And with that you and Grim suddenly fainted, surrounded by light sparkles and glitches flooding the space, not noticing Ortho catching you and Lilia’s furious stare.
You tried opening your eyes, and managed to do that after a minute of trying, glitches still sparkling everywhere, but not as bright as it was before.
You found yourself on a bed in an unknown place dominated by bright blue hues, you could hear the tapping of fingers on the keyboard, the faint noise of processors, and you were no longer sure if the space distortion was due to the system, or it was local computers.
“Uh…” You mumbled, trying to sit on your bed, and observed the place, noticing a figure of someone tapping on the keyboard.
You looked closely, recognizing familiar fire-like bright blue hair and gray clothes the person was wearing.
“Excuse me,” you said, drawing the person's attention and making the figure startle in shock, turning to you at once. “Huh?”
“Y-Y-Yuu-shi!!”
“F-fiery-senpai.”
He pulled up the collar of the turtleneck that was sticking out from under the gray robes and covered his mouth, looking away from you.
“Um… I’m Idia Shroud.”
You smiled weakly to yourself, actually suspecting it before, but knowing that the person you grew to love like happened to be Idia was excruciatingly painful.
It was continuous, endless torment.
Grim told you every day that you, dear little Yuu, are just a fool with a glitch in your head, since you fell in love with that ‘fiery-senpai’ so irrevocably for being just a person. The world was falling apart, and you refused to end the game, running away from solving the problem like a small child, and you understood this very well, continuing to run in circles.
“Ah!!” You exclaimed, standing up and approaching him, making Idia squeak and almost run away from you. “Oh, I’m sorry for startling you. It’s just… Actually, wait, where am I? Where’s Grim?”
“Grim-shi is sleeping in the room next door, m-my little brother Ortho assisting him. D-don’t worry…”
“That’s good…” You smiled to yourself, feeling a little relieved your partner was okay. “But still, where are we?”
“Did they just need to leave that to me RIGHT WHEN I’m in the middle of my research, ugh…” He muttered to himself, then cleared his throat. “You’re at STYX. You p-probably don’t know what it is, since you’re… Nevermind. D-dont worry, we need to run a few tests and will return you back to the NRC.”
“Sounds not like something I shouldn’t be worried about, to be honest,” you chuckled. “What kind of tests? And why me? Lilia said you study, ergh… blot here. I don’t know what that is.”
“Tch, why me…” He mumbled to himself again. “Y-yeah, Lilia-shi surely mentioned something he shouldn’t have, b-but you have no relation to blot. At least physically..”
“Look,”
You came closer to him, quickly glancing over his features and suddenly getting flustered. Despite his gloomy look and huge eye bags, he appeared to be quite cute and good-looking. You never thought your last ‘love interest’ would look like that, not to mention him having such a shy personality.
And now, knowing that the fiery-senpai you grew to like was Idia all that time, didn’t make it easier.
Everything will end once you win his heart.
And it was breaking yours.
You dramatically imitated fainting, causing Idia to jolt, and exclaimed.
“You suddenly faint,” you said, then came over to the bed you were laying on, and sat on it. “Then you wake up in an unfamiliar place…”
You came closer to him, not daring to touch him, and ended up just staring right in his golden eyes.
“... And found yourself alone in a room with a complete stranger.” You said, averting your gaze. “Quite handsome, though.”
Idia in front of you bit his lip, trying his best to ignore your compliment.
“What would my reaction be?”
“C-confusion?..”
“Right, that,” you confirmed. “So please be so kind as to explain what is happening and how I can be of help.”
“Alright…” He sighed heavily. “Follow me.”
You nodded, following his tall figure and enjoying how the fire of which his hair consisted was shimmering, however noticing one little but important detail.
There was no heart icon.
To be completely honest, you really were charming.
Idia was amazed at how easy it was to have a conversation with you and how charmingly your lips curved into a soft smile. He hated every second of the new day, realizing that the research is being delayed, and he has to run an infinite number of tests.
He could not clearly distinguish between your natural coquetry and acting (of the justice of which he was no longer so sure). You yourself were a very gentle and understanding person, calmly accepting the peculiarities of his personality, but still, despite all the promises that you made to others in their routes (at least those that he managed to hear), you seemed to still hold back myself.
Wouldn't you like to return to where you came from as soon as possible? Why did your face tremble in unbearable sadness every time he happily announced that there were not many tests left and that you would be released soon? Of course, you had to charm him, grab him right by the heart and make him yours, but why did your voice become so desperately dreary every time he closed the door to your room, and you wished him peaceful dreams and asked him not to work late?
The tests, in fact, at first were simple questionnaires, from which it was impossible to extract anything intelligible. Therefore, subsequently, Idia had to move on to more difficult tests for you, which turned out to be simulations of reality.
The distorted images of all those whose routes you have already completed, have told you terrible things, betrayed you and hoped to break you. Usually it was possible to check the accumulation of blot and magical energy this way, but since you did not possess it, it was checked how negative emotions affected you.
And you... seemed to remain unshakable and believed them to the end, forcing the images of people dear to you to be erased automatically.
Idia wasn't really interested in your involvement in the blot in the first place—it was just a cover. He was personally interested in knowing your essence in more detail, who, or maybe what you really were.
And why did you cling so desperately to those whose routes were already completed.
“Yuu!!”
“Don’t come any closer!”
You heard Grim burst into your room, ignoring his attempts to stop you, but the erratic system bugs were doing their own dance, preventing Grim from getting close to you.
“The fuck you’re doing?!”
You chuckled, tapping on the keyboard, and turned to him for a mere second.
“Trying to let our dear beloved system know that I won’t finish Idia’s route.”
“Yuu, get yourself together!! Ain’t no way you can just casually crack the system we’ve been workin’ with for who knows how many years so far!!”
“AND DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?!”
“Yuu!”
You tried to make changes to the system code of this world, sweat streamed down your neck, electricity flashed bright flashes here and there, almost setting Grim's tail on fire, and as soon as you got to the very core, swallowing tears and ignoring Grim's screams, in the system something exploded, pushing you away from the interface and spawning digital corruption.
“Yuu!..”
You. Failed.
Today Idia planned to show you the Underworld to see what would happen. Apparently you had a save option, so he was about to make a hint for you, so you would save the game progress and reload in case something happens.
“I-It’s me, Idia…”
He knocked on the door, but no answer was heard. Normally you would reply with a cheerful ‘Come in!', but today you remained silent, making him slightly worried.
He opened the door nevertheless and found you, wrapped in blankets and sniffing.
“Yuu-shi?” He asked, coming closer to you but not too close, and saw you slowly turning to him. “O-oi, are you okay?”
“Ugh… who…”
You looked at him from under your brows, your eyelids were as if poured with lead, and your cheeks burned like a red-hot swing. Idia carefully bent over you, not daring to stretch out his hand for a long time, but your hoarse breathing forced him to press his hand to your forehead and gasp.
“You’re burning, Yuu-shi!”
“Idia?..”
“Y-yes, are you okay— Huh?!”
You weakly tugged at his sleeve, but from the unstable position and the effect of surprise, he fell on you.
This is the most classic otome scene ever, damn it!!
But, unlike the typical plot of an otome game, the scene wasn't particularly romantic. The promised butterflies didn’t hover in his stomach, and you looked really sick. You covered your mouth with a blanket and opened your eyes, trying to peer into the gold of the eyes in front of you with a cloudy gaze, forcing Idia to fluster.
“Your hair…” You muttered. “Warm.”
“O-of course it’s warm… Yuu-shi?!”
You smoothed a strand of his fiery hair and smiled weakly, clinging to the desired warmth and not noticing how the tips of his hair turned pink.
Shit, it was, like, REALLY bad. Did you just have to be so cute and vulnerable right when he wanted to ignore the feelings blossoming in his chest?! Argh, you really!!
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, taking his hand he offered to hold onto, not even realizing it himself, and tried standing up. “We’ve got important work to do today… Let’s go.”
“But you don’t look well, Yuu-shi…”
“It’s nothing,” you smiled, standing up and releasing his hand, already missing the warmth. “I know it's partly your idea, but you're still following someone's orders, right?”
“Uh,” he averted his gaze. “W-well, yes…”
“He-he,” you smiled, embracing yourself and feeling a little cold. “I know the feeling when no one asks you what you want to do. So let’s finish early, and I won’t disturb you anymore.”
You left the room, turning around for a second and meeting his stunned gaze.
You really DID care about him.
He chuckled at the last thing you’ve said, knowing that you needed him to escape this place, both STYX and Twisted Wonderland, but found it funny how you tried to cover it. Even if you didn’t look like you were lying in the first place.
The path to the underworld was unbearably long, and your body apparently refused to listen to you, the limbs seemed to take on a life of their own, and Idia saw a sharp flicker of the system windows around you, intensifying as you descended lower and lower.
“What do I need to do when we get there?” You asked, grabbing his hand, because you couldn’t even walk properly.
“Yuu-shi… E-excuse me.”
He put your hand on his shoulder, helping you move around, although you didn't walk long enough because you weren't very comfortable.
“I appreciate your concern,” you giggled and just took his hand in yours, interweaving fingers. “But that would be enough. Thank you, Idia.”
He felt stupid, feeling the unbearable heat of your body, and at the same time knowing that he contributed to your sudden illness, and he could not do anything about it.
He was an egoist to whom you showed nothing but kindness and understanding.
“Yuu-shi, uhm… Excuse me for a moment.”
System windows flickered and flew around you in a chaotic order, among which Idia somehow managed to grab the right one, and stood behind you, trying to hit the flickering button in time. He leaned closer to you, curls of his hair falling on your chest, and you blushed, turning your face to him.
“Idia?..”
“Argh, I’m s-sorry!! Please bear with me a little more…”
“Why bearing?” You leaned closer to him, feeling his heart stopping for a moment. “I enjoy spending time with you, really.”
“D-don’t say nonsense, Yuu-shi. Why would you love spending time with the one w-who, uhm, kidnapped you?”
“I might have questioned that, but… Maybe because your research can help me too. I think. And also…”
You looked at him, his hand frozen midair and his lips slightly parted.
Were you about to kiss him?
His heart skipped a beat when he realized that… No, it was SO irrational!! He was avoiding you (not really, actually) like a plague, he tried his best to not catch feelings for you! It would be a total game over if you would kiss him now, the system will admit he has fallen in love, and you will just leave, but!..
But you shook your head, smiling at him bitterly, and continued walking.
And what was the sudden sadness and void in his heart?
He managed to save the game for you and wondered if it was okay, given he was the one who did it, not you.
You finally reached the destination, and Idia felt a headache piercing his head, other people’s profiles popping up here and there randomly, and you frowned.
“Idia, wait,” you said, reaching out for one of the tabs and typing something there. “Shit, I have no currency left…”
“I can help.”
He still held your hand to prevent you from falling, seeing how hard you were shivering, and couldn’t dare to meet your shocked gaze.
“How in the world…”
“I don’t know either,” he mumbled. “It just… I know n-not only you’re not from this world, I know your purpose…”
“Did you avoid me on purpose because you knew?..”
“Y-yes,” he admitted and turned away. “But it’s not like you’ll love me for real.”
“You… Listen to me, Idia.”
You turned to him, ignoring the persistently jumping system windows and the gradually dissolving universe. The howl of phantoms from under your feet was terrifying and disturbing, but you clung to Idia, looking at him with tears in your eyes.
“This is undoubtedly the most freakingly insane route I’m trying to finish,” you confirmed. “But… Do I look like I want this to end? Like I want you to suffer when I’m gone?”
“Y-Yuu-shi…”
“I don’t want to go,” you admitted. “I don’t want to leave you! Not when I’m… developing feelings for you.”
“You…”
“The route is over once not only the person, but I also recognize and accept something for myself. And just so you know, you have no heart above you…”
“Yuu-shi, sorry for saying stupid things, but…” He inhaled sharply. “My heart is not above my head, but in my chest. Yours too.”
You giggled.
“Ha-ha… It is quite endearing, I must s… say.”
“Yuu-shi?”
“I’m okay,” you said. “It’s just… What are those howls?”
“... It’s phantoms. The ones my family and I study,” he answered. “They’re… not people anymore.”
“Not… anymore. Idia!!”
“W-what?!”
You sank to your knees, touching the cold surface of the gates to the underworld, and gasped, paralyzed.
It was just the same when you yourself first died.
“Yuu-shi, don’t come any closer!!”
“Idia,” you turned to him. “Do you… work here often? Do you interact with those phantoms often?”
“I do,” he answered. “Why?..”
“Ha-ha… I think… I just realized the real reason why you can see the system too.”
“WHAT?!”
“You know… I once was a normal person, just like you are. A part of a story, though I don’t even remember the genre it had. More likely a slice of life? I died young, rescuing a kitten. You can already assume that it was Grim… And you’re right. And somehow we both ended up being recruited for the Isekai Association program.”
“So not… everyone could enter?”
“As he explained, only those who possess certain qualities and personality traits can be hired. And as for you, I think because you’re close to death, you manage to see everything happening..”
“He?..”
You frowned.
“Is there a way to open the gates?”
“Don’t even think about it. I’m being serious, Yuu-shi.”
“So there is, and apparently you know it,” you smiled at him with a craziness he despised.
How could you even think about something so dangerous as…
“Well then, open it. Right. Now. I’m being serious just as you are.”
“I won’t.”
“I will put it to an end. You also don’t want your world to suffer because of me, right?! You see those glitches, the system almost absorbed everything!! How could you—”
“How could you just think only of yourself!”
You bit your lip, looking straight at him, his hair iridescent from blue to enraged orange, almost crimson.
“Listen, I’m being only logical!! Here, I hear death itself. Are you worried about me? I really appreciate it, but oh please, I won’t die that easily. In fact, all that I need to do is to jump right there as many times as I can, maybe that he will finally bring me to the office and at least interrogate…”
“He again.. No, Yuu, I WON’T let you.”
“Ha,” you laughed bitterly, drawing him to yourself and pressing your forehead to his, closing your eyes and summoning the system tabs.
Your forehead burned with heat, your breath hitched so hard that Idia himself heard it trembling, and watched in a daze as his memory was converted into system windows. He wanted to break out of your strong grip, but you already found the right scoreboard and smiled sadly, biting your lip.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. “I didn’t want to manipulate you like that… Now, say it, Idia Shroud.”
His body moved against his will, his lips trembled, and as if not in his voice, a desperate ‘Gate to The Underworld’ broke from them.
The heavy massive gates opened, and Idia, having regained control over his movements, numbly turned away from you, but did not calculate that one inaccurate movement, and he felt the cold of the grave with his back.
“IDIA!!”
Dark hands, greedily clinging to his limbs, mercilessly pulled him into the abyss. Without hesitation, you rushed after him, your heart was pounding wildly in your chest, trying to escape, and the tears instantly dried up on your cheeks from the cold, leaving icy paths on them.
“Yuu!!”
Grim voice was heard, and the second after you felt him grabbing on your sleeve.
“Grim, no, get out of here, I’ll end this alone!!”
“You stupid little shit,” Grim cursed. “We’re partners!!”
“But Grim! Let me go! I must rescue him!!!”
“Ain’t no way you’re excluding me, you idiot! What are you going to do anyway?! He’s dying!”
You refused to let go of Idia’s hand you managed to grab, and saw him opening his eye for a mere moment before closing it, losing consciousness.
“Do you believe me, Grim?”
“Of course I do, you foolish henchman!”
“Then let me go, okay? Believe me, I’m not letting die nor you or Idia.”
Grim hesitated for a moment before nodding to you.
“‘Kay… And Yuu.”
“Yes?”
“Be careful just in case, ok? I mean, you’ll always be my most loyal henchman in every dimension existing, but now you look more ergh, soft or something? I mean, humans before you usually couldn’t stand a second in horrors and… Shit.”
“You don’t want to lose me,” you concluded, drawing Grim closer to you and enveloping him in a hug.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” he sighed. “Might get used to that soft side of yours.”
“Is it bad?”
“Nah,” he hugged your arm in response. “But it could have been better if you gave me more tuna cans daily.”
“Shut up.”
He let go of you, and you summoned the system tab, not really seeing anything in this mess, but bit your lip and typed the code, clicking ‘ENTER’ and shouting out.
“Judge Flamm!!”
Suddenly, the whole space seemed to flow into an absolutely intangible shell, the digital pieces of the universe peeled off, and you found yourself in a familiar office, which was a small room with a cozy fireplace against the wall.
“Yuu.”
An insanely beautiful person with dim green eyes looked at you with a strictness you never knew he could possess before, and offered you a cup of tea, which you declined.
“I thought I made it clear you’re not allowed to use that code.”
“It was an emergency, Judge Flamm.”
“I don’t see anything urgent.”
“Ha!” You stood up, spilling the tea and ignoring Flamm’s intense gaze fixed on you. “First transferring me and Grim to an otome game, then letting my last love interest die! Nothing urgent, really?”
You grabbed him by the collar, pulling him towards you, meeting the inexplicable emotion in his eyes, and grinned.
“You… Judge Flamm, before I actually blew the hell out of here, bring him back to life!!”
“Yuu, you’re saying nonsensical things.”
“Hell with you then…”
“You know there’s always a price to pay for all of your desires.”
“Want to see a hellfire so much?” You smirked. “I’ll show you that. You… Did I ever ask for life like that?! Wandering around like a ghost!”
“But you didn’t die. You did it only once, and now…”
“WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!”
“BECAUSE I—” He closed his eyes. “Forget it. I can’t let you work in this state. This world is broken anyway.”
“Ha, so you first bring me there against my will, not introducing me to the details, then I start developing emotions and feelings I never knew I needed, and now? Now you’re telling me I can’t keep working like that? Don’t try to fool me, Judge Flamm! Just name your price.”
“That merman surely taught you— Ha-ha. Great then. Hear the price.”
He grabbed your chin, drawing your face closer to his, and smirked.
“Your own life. And not just one, but all the lives you have. All the countless lives for all of the stories you needed to fix, and you;ll be stuck in that Twisted Wonderland world forever!!”
You narrowed your eyes and burst into laughter.
“Great! Take it all. I don’t care.”
“Yuu…”
“Take it,” you repeated. “Take it, Judge… No. Take it, Rollo.”
He hissed, escaping from your grasp and approaching the fireplace, pulling out a blue flower burning in the fire.
“You’ll regret your decision.”
“Oh believe me I won’t,” you said. “I will enjoy my one and only life I will have from now on. Finally.”
Rollo, casting a heavy and ambiguous look at you, breathed life into a flower burning with a blue flame, and put it in your hand, looking away and biting his lip. A spectacle that you never expected to see even in your wildest dreams unfolded in front of you, and Flamm, forcing out a weak awkward smile, pushed you into the digital abyss, whispering something in parting, but you could not make out what exactly.
“See you later, Yuu.”
He said, clutching a burning scarlet flower in his hand and falling after you.
“Yuu!!”
“Y-Yuu-shi!!”
You slowly opened your eyes, coughing up gunpowder from your throat, and looked at the two silhouettes looming over you with a hazy look. But you didn’t have time to orient yourself and come to your senses, when suddenly they swooped down on you with hugs and squeezed them tightly.
“You insane punk!!” Grim cried. “I’ll never ask for extra tuna cans if you’re going to throw yourself into the abyss once more! You stupid little—”
“G-grim-shi, let Yuu-shi rest a little and—”
“Idia… You’re alive…”
“T-thanks to you and—”
Tears welled up in your eyes, but you leaned towards Idia and clung to him in a soft kiss, ignoring Grim's dissatisfied sighs from the side and the uncertain sounds that Idia made. Laughing through kiss, you clung to Idia even stronger, and he, not sharing your fun, grew bolder, picking up your lips.
“Y-Yuu-shi,” he whispered when parted. “What did you do?..”
“Uhm,” you giggled nervously. “Exchanged my countless lives on your but only one?”
“YOU WHAT?!”
“Ah, Grim!!” You lamented. “I forgot to ask for your opinion… But I kinda think… Judge Flamm let us live only this one remaining life…”
“Do I look like I care?!” He punched you slightly. “I’m more impressed that you’ve managed to convince HIM out of all bosses! He’s an insane one!”
“Why do I think there's so much to be told?” Idia mumbled.
“Don’t worry,” you smiled. “Let’s get back to NRC and I’ll explain everything to you and then to others. They certainly deserve an explanation…”
“But explain everything to me first in all details,” he said, standing up and helping you out. “I’m your t-true route, after all.”
You smiled at him, taking his hand in yours and letting Grim rest on your shoulders.
“You are!”
A sudden piercing feeling pricked your chest, as if crimson fire spreading within, but it soon disappeared, erasing all your worries.
Maybe you were an otome expert all this time, after all?
— tag-list : @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @red-viewe @68thsposts @cerisescherries
© yunarim 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#jade x reader#leona x reader#kalim x reader#azul x reader#lilia x reader#idia x reader
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The Live-Action Sukka Manifesto that I Just Couldn't Keep in My Head
So I've been marinating in my live-action Sukka thoughts for the past three days, and when someone sent me an anon asking if I had any thoughts about the changes, at first I went, "DO I EVER?!" and proceeded to dump my entire brain on the page.
But then I worried maybe the anon wouldn't want to see my entire brain and figured I'd make my own post with my Many, Many Thoughts, and reel it in a bit when I answer the ask. And then link here if they're interested in the dissertation.
I'll put all the excessive details and spoilery stuff under a cut, but I'll start by saying, I didn't hate it! And I was afraid that I would.
There were things that I was bummed or had mixed feelings about, but there was also a lot that I genuinely enjoyed. All the Sukka interactions were cute and still had some decent character development, and I had fun with the episode overall (I've watched it thrice mind you, and definitely have not given the rest of the series that kind of attention). And I didn't necessarily dislike the differences from the original; I think I've just taken more of a "that was an interesting interpretation" approach.
But I better start that cut now, because I'm about to go on and on about this. I'd love to know what others think, though!! Even if the opinions aren't the same as mine! Please feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me an ask. If nothing else, I'm excited that the LA has gotten people talking about ATLA again.
So, I want to start with Suki’s characterization, which overall I found to be delightful, even if it was a bit of a watered-down version of her animated self.
In the original show, Suki is confident, sassy, and doesn’t take shit from anybody. She’s proud to the point of almost being arrogant, and even a little mean. What we get in the LA is someone who’s still confident in terms of her status and her skills, and still proud of her heritage and her role in her community, but with significantly less sass. And while LA Suki still seems like someone who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, we don’t actually see LA Suki deal with that much shit from anyone (because Sokka isn’t really giving her any).
There is one moment in the show where her interaction with Sokka is a little contentious, which is when he tries to relate to her as a fellow guardian of his people. I think Suki’s question to Sokka about how is he protecting his village if he’s not there is meant to be a challenge to his swagger. However, the line is delivered with a softness that makes it seem as though Suki is, at least in part, genuinely curious. (This curiosity makes even more sense when we consider the fact that Suki’s eventually going to leave Kyoshi Island so she and her Warriors can take part in the war effort, and that she will have to contend with the question of “how do you do that without abandoning your people?” when coming to that decision. The LA lays a lot more of this groundwork than the animated show did: Suki outwardly expressing her desire to see the world, her mother’s secretive looks every time Suki gazes longingly at Sokka the possibilities…)
Compare these two moments, for example. These are both scenes where Suki expresses disbelief at Sokka's claims about his warrior-hood. But in the LA, Suki speaks rather quietly and mildly, in contrast to the brash sarcasm of her animated counterpart. LA Suki is also tilting her head down and away, looking at Sokka indirectly. OG Suki is leaning in close, getting in his face, smirking derisively with her hands on her hips.
I think there’s something to be said about the LA in general smoothing away certain personality traits that could be seen as negatives but that are actually strengths that are so narratively well-developed they occasionally show up as flaws (for instance, Katara’s fury, or lack thereof). Animated Suki is prideful and stubborn; she berates Sokka until he gives her sad puppy-dog eyes and has zero hesitation about making an example of him in front of her whole class. It’s a little ruthless, but these traits are also 1) what gets through Sokka’s thick skull (he, too, is prideful and stubborn), and 2) what makes her such a dedicated ambassador of Kyoshi and such a strong leader of the island’s Warriors at such a young age. I feel like the LA writers were afraid of making any of the protagonists seem too abrasive—everyone in the LA has had their edges sanded down, including Zuko, including Aang—and in general this tends to lead to less realistic representations of humanity and conflict, less satisfying character development arcs, and fewer opportunities for reflection and learning.
That being said! I went into watching the LA with negative expectations about what we would see in terms of character development, and thus was pleasantly surprised.
The LA removed the need for Suki to be as ruthlessly stubborn as she is in the animated show because LA Sokka’s skull is not so thick (and I'll get into that a bit more later). So what we get instead is a sheltered Suki with a helicopter mom who is so hilariously awkward that she has no idea how to interact with other humans. And, to be honest, I enjoyed this version of her so much that I even thought to myself, “I wish I’d thought of that!”
Suki is a straight-up weirdo in the LA and I love that for her. The way she puts Sokka in a chokehold and then looks at him after she sets him free like, “That was good flirting, yes? Would you like to be my boyfriend now?” And then her disappointment when Sokka walks away as if she’s thinking, “Why didn’t that go well, I thought boys loved getting put in chokeholds?” She is so precious, I just want to put her in my pocket. And this characterization might even be more broadly relatable than a super-confident Suki brimming with sass. Who among us hasn’t made a complete fool of ourselves in front of a crush by coming on way too strong and having no idea how to flirt? I mean…real.
And because Sokka is also mostly just making a fool of himself trying to impress a pretty and talented peer (instead of covering up his insecurities by wrapping himself in misogyny) this leaves room for the two of them to be attracted to each other right off the bat and for their interactions to be more overtly romantic throughout the entire episode. Which, avid shipper that I am, I have to admit I have been gobbling up for the past three days straight. This episode was an IV drip of romantic tropes hooked straight to every Sukka shipper’s veins.
Shy glances from across the room? Check.
Walking in on the other person half-naked? Check. (Y’all, Suki looks Sokka up and down for a FULL TWENTY SECONDS yes I timed it from the moment she appears in the background, yes you should count it to see how long that really is. Talk about awkward.)
Tripping so they end up falling into each other’s arms? Check.
Wide-eyed shock that turns into surprise thirst after being pinned to the ground? Check.
Shooting each other satisfied smirks as they kick ass side-by-side? Check.
Jumping in front of literal fire for each other? Check and check!
Like, I could live off this for the rest of the year.
But look, there’s a lot that I love about the way Sokka and Suki’s relationship is portrayed in this episode besides those romantically indulgent tension-creating moments, and it has to do with Suki’s admiration and validation of Sokka.
Suki really looked at this boy with his mouth stuffed half-full of steamed bun and went, “Must have.”
With the removal of overt sexism from this episode (for better or worse), the story focused much more heavily on Sokka’s development as a leader. He still has that sort of posturing display of self-confidence that comes from inexperience and trying too hard to prove oneself (“Ferociously…deadly tiger whales…”), and while at first Suki seems put off by this and his attempts to liken himself to her (“I’m not just a warrior, I’m a Kyoshi warrior”) it doesn’t take her long to decide (*cough*after seeing him shirtless*cough*) that she doesn’t actually mind this behavior (and in fact maybe she kind of likes it because maybe it means he likes her and maybe it means she can show him how much she likes him by slicing the tops off all those melons with her fan). She seems genuinely interested in his boomerang and impressed that he hunts, and then later, she immediately takes interest in training him in the Kyoshi Warrior style.
After they spar, she casually refers back to the fact that he’s his village’s protector, and this time, she does it without the disbelief and defensiveness. Because he’s finally stopped posturing. He opened himself up and gave himself over to Suki’s expertise, and in that way he proved that he has the will and desire—the heart—of a warrior. And Suki tells him so while touching him gently and gazing at him longingly in the soft golden glow of the late-afternoon sun. And as a die-hard Sokka stan, I love seeing him loved and appreciated like this. Adamantly. Ardently. The Sokka cheerleader in my head is going wild. “YEESSSS!! Our boy deserves this!!” Because we know that, in the animated show, he goes through a lot more struggle and self-doubt before he receives this kind of external validation. And while we also know that this makes for an incredibly satisfying growth arc, I gotta admit that it’s a fun bit of indulgence to watch Suki talk Sokka up directly to his face and then want to kiss him really bad. Y’know. As a treat.
That said, I'm very attached to and appreciative of the way their relationship is framed in the animated series. I love that their respect and affection for each other grows even after the disaster that is their first few interactions. In the LA, they are drawn to each other immediately, and the only barrier seems to be a bit of awkward stepping-in-it-ness. In the original, they have legitimate conflict, and they both have to give a little—Sokka becomes more humble, Suki becomes more tender—before they get to that point of potential romantic interest. And I think it says a lot about Sokka’s character and his desire to learn and grow that he is willing to humble himself in front of someone who, as far as he’s seen, has very little regard for him (slash has a good deal of animosity towards him). Giving himself over to Suki’s expertise costs him more in the animated show. But once he does, he and Suki learn and grow together. He shows Suki who he really is, shows her how dedicated and determined (and fun and a quick learner) he is, to the point that, by the end of the episode, she can allow herself to be vulnerable with him. And she does validate him in the original Kyoshi Warriors episode, just less directly than the LA. Her kiss on his cheek and “...but I’m a girl, too” is about forgiveness and acceptance and acknowledgement and respect, as much as or even more than it is about affection. There’s a little bit of romance, too, but it’s just little baby seeds of it, and it feels very natural to let those seeds germinate over time until we see Suki again later in the series.
Which brings me to the live-action kiss.
I’ll be honest, I was a little on the fence about the kiss. I want Sokka and Suki to kiss as much as possible in every conceivable universe. So there’s a part of me that was banging on the table and whistling with obscene joy. But the other part of me thought it was too much too soon. However, my hesitance pre-supposes some things about the second season (not least of which that there will be one), namely that it will handle the reunion with Suki and crossing the Serpent’s Pass anything like how it was done in the original. (Of course, one thing we now know for certain can't happen in a hypothetical LA season 2 is Suki pranking Sokka at the ferry station because he doesn't recognize her without her makeup. Do I love the expression on LA Sokka's face the first time he sees Suki's? Yes. Am I sad that this completely ruins their whole "You don't remember me? Maybe you'll remember this!" game? Also yes. But truthfully, I don't know if LA Suki would've been up to the prank, anyway. Not sassy enough. ;))
The Serpent’s Pass is one of my favorite episodes of all time, and that moment on the bluffs when Sokka and Suki are talking around Sokka’s loss, with the moon shining down on them all the while, and they almost kiss with the moon hanging between them in the background, and then Sokka pulls away without any other explanation besides, “I can’t”? That scene is so absurdly powerful and beautiful and an amazing moment of character development for them both, and I feel like it loses a lot of impact if they’ve already made out once. The fact that they kiss for the first time after that moonlit moment, when Sokka realizes that Suki doesn’t need protecting the way he thought she did, and in fact she was there to protect him, and he can finally just let go of this burden that he’s been carrying with him since Suki first mentioned she was joining them (slash since his dad put him in charge of an entire village at 13), and then and only then can he open his heart to what he feels for Suki, and in fact opens it so wide that he just cannot help but jam his mouth onto hers before she’s even finished talking…? I mean. C’mon. That’s poetry. But, again…loses impact if they’ve already had a first kiss.
But who knows what, if anything, they’ll actually do with that storyline. So for now, I’ll just enjoy my live-action Sukka kiss because, honestly, dream come true.
Or almost a dream come true. Because there's a huge camelephant in the room that I haven't addressed yet, isn't there? The lack of Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform...
And I don’t think we can talk about the omission of Sokka’s Kyoshi Warrior uniform without talking about the omission of Sokka’s sexism. Because if Sokka isn’t sexist, then why do you have to put him in the dress and makeup of traditionally female warriors to make a point about how women are strong and capable, too? So here’s what I’ll say about that (and I know there’s a lot that people have said already, so I’ll try not to belabor the point.) I don’t think leaving out Sokka’s sexism was necessarily a detriment to his character arc. I do think, however, that leaving out Sokka’s sexism was a detriment to the message the show was trying to convey about sexism.
Now, in the Northern Water Tribe episodes, the LA still gives us a message about fighting against the kind of systemic, institutionalized sexism that you might not be surprised to encounter within a very old-fashioned society or from a very old-fashioned gray-haired man. But what about the off-the-cuff, everyday kind of sexism that you might experience from an otherwise good person who is close to you? A person who loves you and would do anything for you but who gets carried away teasing you about “girly” things because of intrinsically-held biases that they’re not even that conscious of having?
I think it’s important and meaningful for male and female audiences alike, and everyone in between, to see these different forms of sexism and misogyny—to see them, to recognize those behaviors in others and in ourselves, to be able to name them, and to have examples of fighting against them. We see the former kind—institutionalized, systemic—in Pakku. And we did see the latter kind—familiar, personal—in Sokka. And now that’s lost.
Not only that, but there’s the form of sexism that says boys aren’t allowed to do feminine things lest they relinquish their maleness. And in the animated show, we got to see Sokka combating this form of sexism, too. Not only does Suki show him that girls can be fierce warriors as well as boys, but he learns that wearing makeup and a dress does not make him any less of a young man.
So, yes, I think the lack of Sokka in Kyoshi Warrior garb was a missed opportunity. And not just because Sokka looked really good in uniform and we all should have had the chance to see that, including and especially Suki.
Alright, this is more than long enough, so I'll leave off with a moment from the LA that gave me great pleasure.
I needed this moment, y'all. And I was so afraid it wouldn't happen. I needed Sokka being protective, I needed him using his newfound Kyoshi Warrior skills to fight, and I needed him jumping in front of fire for the girl who'd taught him. If we couldn't have Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform, at least we had this.
#natla#natla spoilers#sukka#live action atla#netflix atla#spoilers#sokka x suki#suki x sokka#gifs#my gifs#sukka gifs#meta#sukka meta#analysis
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anon questions 💌: selective mutism in age regression.
selective mutism is when you feel comfortable talking in certain situations- but in others you can't. it can be linked to many things and can just become apparent or stay with you your whole life
i've suffered with selective mutism since i was a child, so here are some pumpkin tips to help <3.
it's okay ⭐
one of the first things i'd like to say is that it's completely okay and valid to have selective mutism. i suffered a lot with it through school and got my fair share of weird looks & hushed remarks.
just remember that it's completely valid, okay <3.
we can't control, we don't force it to happen- it just does and it's something we have to live with. don't try and let the mean comments consume you okay? you're not a chore & you're not a burden either.
i thought i'd be lonely forever because of how broken i was- and now i have a positive page that helps people and a adoring boyfriend & caregiver of three years- things do get better <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
notebooks! 🌙
notebooks helped me a lot in school.
i was not very verbal with strangers- i think our head master thought i was mute my entire school year & so to communicate with teachers i would use my notebook or leave little comments for them to read at the end of worksheets etc.
notebooks can be used to draw illustrations of what you mean, leave notes, start conversations, be a silent form of communication between peers. it's honestly a life saver & helped me through some dark times <3.
❀•°❀°•❀
having a comfort person & space ⭐
my comfort person was a small group of friends i got to know near the end of my school year. before that i would eat & exist alone in either the school libary or in the corners of the school where no one really went.
i think one of the downsides of having selective mutism is the loneliness that can follow- especially in an evironment where you need to talk first to create a bond. but just know that you won't be alone forever! your comfort people will come & honestly make you feel like you're euphoric 24/7.
having a comfort person/place is almost like a safe heaven when things go bad. they can help order things, communicate your needs, and just protect you on those dark and overwhelming days <3
❀•°❀°•❀
apps & other things that can help. 🌙
when i was in school- i unfortunately didn't have the kind of support that i do now.
but for young honeybees- there is a mountain load to make those dark days a little less scary! there are plently of others but these are my two favourites!
> AAC apps: Augmentative and alternative communication apps are avaliable to anyone that suffers with mutism in any form! i tend to use them a lot when i'm overstimulated & having autistic meldtdowns.
one of my favourite apps to use is Leeloo which is avaliable on android & apple! it's been a life saver and for the free version you get a healthy amount of free phrases <3.
> communication cards: these are a great for schools or any environments that don't allow technology! you are bascially have a handful of cards with basic communicational phrases and point to which one you'd like to express!
for me personally, these help best when i'm having panic attacks as the motion of going through and understanding each question helps me take control & ground myself a little easier <3
❀•°❀°•❀
pushing through the guilt. ⭐
the guilt of not being deemed 'normal' was one of the biggest things i had to overcome when i was younger.
seeing people my age communicate with strangers so eaisly used to fuel so much anger and fustration because they use to do it so flawlessly- whilst i had to sit in front of a mirror and practice on repeat.
but as i grew older and gotten to understand myself a little easier, i've realised that i was born into a world created and designed for people who don't have or suffer with what i go through.
so why am i forcing myself to reach unexpected expetations when instead i can put myself & my mentality first and heal <3.
do whatever makes you happy, jump threough hurdles you want to go through and push to make a difference however you want! you don't have to had concured the moon to be somebody in the world.
sometimes just complimenting a stranger can make you the hero you want to be <3.
gif isn't mine
#agere community#sfw agere#safe agere#sfw little community#age regression#sfw little blog#sfw age regression#agere blog#agere little#sfw little post#age regressive#agere#agere lifestyle#age regressor#age dreaming#sfw regression#agere post#agere caregiver#sfw little one#sfw little stuff#sfw interaction only#sfw littlespace#sfw furry#ageregression#sfw#sfw blog#age regression caregiver#sfw caregiver#caregiverlife#little community
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Part 3: Shades of Grey
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5
That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)
(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always
Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)
TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!
August 2021
The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop.
“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”
Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”
“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh.
“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”
“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, ” Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”
Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe.
“You don’t mean that,” she whispers.
Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”
“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“Watch your fucking mouth-”
“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word.
Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister.
“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”
“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”
“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”
“I didn’t lie about anything.”
Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’, all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”
“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”
“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”
“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in.
“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”
“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet.
“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door.
“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think I wanna be friends.”
When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken.
***
July 2023
Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch.
When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s.
Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared.
“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together.
“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch.
Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”
“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously.
“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”
The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days.
“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant.
“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”
“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”
It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant.
“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent.
“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”
“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”
“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”
“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”
“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”
Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions.
“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”
“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”
She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out.
“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”
The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it.
“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”
Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?”
Azzi’s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight.
“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”
Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”
Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-
“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige.
“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment.
Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”
She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom.
There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.
She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”
“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”
“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm.
“Stop lying,” Paige bites out.
“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.
“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief.
“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”
“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”
“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers.
Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”
“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.”
“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”
The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her.
“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”
“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline.
“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”
Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.
Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine.
“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine.
A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm.
“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them.
“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants.
“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”
Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”
It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above.
“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies.
“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”
Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-
“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately, against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction.
“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”
As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw.
“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together.
Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked.
“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers-
“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls.
“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door, “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”
“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”
“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”
“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”
Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey.
“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly.
There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”
“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself
“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly.
“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”
“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.
There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”
Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her.
“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her.
“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”
Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart.
“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up.
“Paige I-”
“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her.
***
November 2023
UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury.
The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have.
It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins.
Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little.
“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.
Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”
They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart.
***
UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.
It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow.
Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them.
“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”
“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises.
“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?
“Right, right, continue.”
“Well now I don’t want to.”
Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary.
“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously.
“Fresh air.”
“And?”
Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”
“It always feels like that at the beginning.”
“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”
“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you his hardest battles, right?”
“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”
“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”
“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”
Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right, and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.
“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”
I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me.
“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them.
“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue.
“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”
“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”
“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”
“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”
“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-”
“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”
“Paige-”
“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue.
In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But-
“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”
The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync.
“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face.
The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”
“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”
If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees.
Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up.
“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same.
The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone.
“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately.
“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”
“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck.
“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”
“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.
Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch, “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows.
“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit.
“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”
Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”
Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”
She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.
“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”
Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips.
“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”
Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress.
“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge.
“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”
“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer.
There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles.
***
Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob.
She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.
And then she gets up and goes on with her day.
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