#and also my mom wants me to start driving soon but im terrified of that for so many reasons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forestryfae · 2 months

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also they have like, when youre good enough at cleaninga nd keeping stuff clean and tidy and you have a good enough routine and you dont really need help with it anymore, you might be able to move into one of the apartments they have here at inpatient. and i rly hope im able to get into one soon ngl

problem is tho, i am not that good at keeping things clean and tidy. wish i was but i have to force myself to do it and that rarely starts to happen until it actually gets really really bad. last minute cleaning zoomies kind of fucked up arrangement in my brain i guess??? and on top of thta i completely fell out of my routine in like early november/december when i started having to plan to go home even tho i fucking hate that place. and then i got back an i got no fucking follow up or anything until i hadnt been to work in a month. like yeah maybe thats. maybe thats because i needed antidepressants and i didnt get to talk to a psychologist or anything when i got here cus they dont have one. and i didnt get any followups beyond "go to work" and i had no coping mechanisms or help to find any

like thats the worst part about this place. they take zero accountability for their own fuckups cus "you have to be responsible" like fuck off? do your fucking job so we dont have to be on your asses to get you to do One Single Thing

and they just dont actually undertsand that sometimes people struggle cus they grew up neglected and fucking terrified all the time. i very much would love to be able to not worry 24/7 about being normal enougha nd existing correctly but i am, again, unmedicated, have no therapy, was taught im not allowed to have emotions or im stupid as shit, i was yelled at for the tiniest fucking thing cus both of my parents are fucking insane, and i straight up did not grow up with any kind of like. they didnt teach me shit. showing your kid how to turn on a dishwasher or washingmachine is not the same as teaching your kid shit

mom took over EVERYTHING. i got my first apartment cus she wanted me out of the house so she got me one. i never had a choice in learning to drive cus she just signed me up for drivers lessons without telling me until after shed spent the money. she arranged to meet with a realtor without me and i didnt actually get much say in what house to buy if im being honest. i got to look at them, yeah, but i still needed her permission to buy them and she wouldnt let me look at any she didnt like or didnt think i should live in. shes been in charge of the renovation the whole time without talking to me, and just. bought stuff whenever with my money without consulting me. didnt bring me along for the stuff i did want to look at myself either, they just bought me stuff and that was that. why should i be involved in my own life after all

and thats what im grown up with. insults and yellinga nd screaming and being talked down to and degraded and mocked and bullied, zero fucking support, everything i do is supposed to be automated and they shouldnt have to act like parents at all, i should just know things. no teaching me shit, no actual good follow ups, not being involved in anything revolving myself. school was fucking horrible and i was not in any way helped or protected from that, they let me think it was my own fault i was being bullied and treated me the same fucking way the teachers and bullies did, there was pretty much no sympathy for that and they never fucking talke dto me about that, any mental illnesses are completely free for all to be mocked and ridiculed if they feel like it, and im lazy for being burnt out and crying literally every day for hours, no support, just. absolutely fucking horrible. i grew up with that. thats shit i didnt know wasnt normal. i didnt know none of that is how normal people treat eachother. i still feel like a fucking idiot whenever i set a basic boundary. there are foods i stay away from or hide from others that i eat because i used to get yelled at and shamed for eating them, im fucking scared to discuss stuff i want or want to do or think would be fun to try cus im worried ill be talked out of it or ridiculed, im constantly worried people fucking hate my guts or im about to be treated like dogshit for existing in a way i didnt know was wrong. like. i have to do my own fucking psychology lessons with myself cus i dont get help anywhere and i dont get help thats meaningful from anywhere. im so focused on Doing Things Right that i need to get a good grade in therapy. literally what the fuck

anyways i wish they had better ways to help people than just. do laundry go for a walk go to work socialize.

what if you hate yourself for doing laundry. or not doing it. or youre worried youll do it wrong. what if going for a walk fucking sucks because youre not supposed to have fun unless you have a good reason to do so, or youre scared youre not allowed to exist in the outside world and youll get yelled at for going for a walk, or you think people will be able to tell you dont know where youre going so theyll think youre a fuckking idiot. what if you cant socialize because you dont actually know how and noone ever taught you or treated you like you were important so you never learned. like. this is the kind of shit i still need help with. going to work is only gonna help so much. i still need help with the rest of. existing as a normal person.

but yeah anyways i think its dumb that they have in total 11 rooms with a bathroom, 1 room with a bathroom and kitchen, 2 small apartments, one cottage, two houses, and another large apartment. but we cant use the houses or the apartment because one house isnt technically liveable somehow?? under renovation ig? the other house had a pipe burst so now when you do laundry tehre your clothes smell like sewage afterwards, and the third apartment is being used by students like twice a year so noone can use it. its fucking dumb. give me the apartment for students. ill live with the students. i dont care. i just wanna make dinner on my own.

#talkies

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cruelsummerhrry · 2 years

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A/n: I want to do a little trope with personal trainer!harry and elementary / primary teacher!y/n. This is going to start off as short blubs, but if you all enjoy it I can try to make it more of a one shot thing!

Send in some concepts!

Y/n was stressed.

This is her first year of teaching and she is drowning. Between having to grade and lesson plan, she has been trying to navigate her mental health and the break up of her first long term relationship. With all of this finally getting to her, she asked her friends if she could get a membership to the gym he owns.

Y/n has never been an athlete. If anything, she is somewhat the opposite of an athlete, she was what her mom would call "a bum". She wants to try though, so she got a discounted membership and is getting help from a personal trainer once a week. This should motivate her and hopefully keep her going in at least three times a week.

It's a Monday, the worst day cause the second graders y/n teaches come back rowdy and uncontrollable. Typically, after the day y/n had she would go home and cry. This time it is different, the thing that's different is the sweet little angle that is Emmy Styles. Emmy joined mid semester and she has been nothing but kind. A true light to y/n's day. So now, instead of mopping and feeling like a failure, she is driving her ass to the gym.

In the car she is playing some music off of her gym Playlist that is pumping adrenaline into her blood. She's ready for this.

~♥︎~

She walks into the gym and signs in.

She scheduled an appointment with her personal trainer Harry earlier in the day and she is now looking for his office. Soon enough she finds it and knocks on the door, she here's a come in and walks into the clean office. Then, she sees him. Harry.

Tall, tan, tattooed, buff, and bright green eyes.

Her personal trainer is hot.

She is fucked.

"Hi! I'm Harry, you must be y/n." The words that leave his lips are spoken in a sweet British accent and with an inviting hand waiting to be shaken.

"Yeah, that's me," she feels her cheeks heat as she speaks and shakes the man's hand. "What should we start with?"

His eye contact is terrifying to y/n and she can't stand to hold it any longer. "Well first can you tell me what you would want to work out first? Like what would you want to work on and strengthen the most?"

"I really want to work on my legs," she had recently seen this one gorgeous woman with these big, beautiful, strong thighs and became obsessed. "Like I would want to gain some muscle there and stuff." She didn't know if she was seeing things but she could've sweared he smirked at her words.

"Well," Harry claps his hands. "Let's get to work."

a/n: thank you for reading! Please like and reblog, it would mean a lot to me! ALSO FOLLOW ME PLEASE IM BEGGING

#as it was #hs3 is coming #harry edward styles #tpwk #harry #you are home #fine line #youarehome #hs3 theories #eroda #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry x reader #harry smut #harry styles smut #harry update #coachella #love on tour #harry styles fanfiction

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belovabelova · 3 years

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Little Darling | Part Two

Fanfic Summary: A young girl falls for her stepdad’s best friend, Steve Rogers.

Pairing: dad’s best friend! Steve Rogers x original female character

Word Count: 1012 words

Fanfic Warnings: Graphic descriptions of sex and various sexual acts, age gap relationship (16 years), mentions and descriptions of suicide and self-injurious behavior (eating disorders and self-harm), mental illness, death or dying, physical violence, and blood.

Chapter Warnings: This chapter contains mentions of suicide and descriptions of self-mutilation.

Notes: I’m also posting this fanfic on Wattpad. I hope you enjoy!

(Part One)

I still don't understand what happened to me when my father passed away.

The day I went back to school, I was forced to talk to a counselor. When he asked me how I was doing, I told him that it felt like I'd been tied to an anchor and it was pulling me under. He said that it was normal to feel that way. According to him, what I was experiencing was grief.

Except I hadn't told him the complete truth.

I didn't feel heavy, and I didn't feel like I was plummeting to the bottom of the sea. I actually felt okay considering my dad shot himself only a month before.

Nonetheless, another month passed and I broke. It felt like a demon sucked a portion of my soul out of my body. I refused to get out of bed or shower, and I binged and purged on food. The tears wouldn't stop falling. Everything inside of me hurt. I was an empty shell.

And then, after a while, things seemed to get better.

The problem was, no matter how many times things seemed to get better, they would always get bad again. It was beyond frustrating. I wasn't strong enough to handle it.

A few months after I lost my dad, I started planning my own funeral.

That's what I think about on my drive home from work.

Once I realized that I didn't want to live anymore, I spent many sleepless nights researching burial methods, looking up how to draft my own will, and searching for the most effective means of ending my life. Guns were too violent, rope was too unreliable, and jumping from some sort of height was too terrifying, so I decided an overdose would be my best bet.

I like to think my boyfriend saved me, but not because he stopped me from taking the pills.

We actually got into a massive argument over something ridiculous. It made me hysterical.

After kicking Liam out of my house and telling him that I never wanted to see him again, I found myself in the bathroom with a razor. I took my frustrations out on my wrist, slashing at my left arm in a fit of rage.

After dropping the razor in the sink and staring down at the blood pouring from my veins, panic started to set in. I was killing myself, but it wasn't supposed to happen that way. I wasn't ready yet. The wounds stung and it was messy— everything was too messy. I screwed up and the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted my mom.

With horrified tears welling in my eyes, I pressed a towel to my mangled arm, but the blood quickly soaked through the material.

I started choking on my breath.

Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my phone and managed to text Liam.

Im bledding amd I sont know wjat to do

He was driving home, but he called me as soon as I sent the message. "Emma, what's going on?" he asked, sounding panicked.

I fumbled with my phone, but once I managed to put it on speaker, I dropped it in the blood-soaked sink. "I— I cut myself, and it won't— it won't stop bleeding," I managed through heavy sobs. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared."

"Fucking shit," he cursed. "I'm turning around. Do you need an ambulance?" As he stepped on the gas pedal, I could hear the engine of his car work a bit faster.

Grabbing another towel, I pressed it into my arm. It hurt like something fierce, but I figured it would somehow stop the bleeding.

"I don't— I don't know," I cried, too terrified to call for emergency services. "I'm going to be sick."

Liam kept questioning me, but I started muttering under my breath, cursing myself out for being so stupid. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew my brain was fucked.

As I pull into the driveway of my house, I try to push the traumatic memory out of my mind.

Steve comes into view, offering me a good distraction. He's under the hood of Bucky's truck without a shirt on. He looks like some sort of heavenly creature.

Glistening with sweat and covered in dirt, he lifts his head and offers me a short wave. After turning off my vehicle, I step outside and he meets my eyes. "Where have you been?" he asks.

I stop beside him and start playing with the keys in my hand. "Work."

"Where's that?"

"The library in town," I tell him.

Glancing down at the engine of Bucky's truck, he presses his lips together and smiles. "What do you do there? Reshelve books?" he asks, amused by something— I'm not sure what.

I cross my arms. "Among other things. Why? Are you looking for a job?" I joke.

Putting his hand on top of the hood, he closes it gently and chuckles. "Not exactly," he says, wiping at the sweat on his forehead. "I was just curious."

I hum under my breath. "Are you done with the truck?"

"For now." He walks down the driveway to dump his stuff in the bed of the vehicle.

As he lifts a heavy box of tools, his arms flex and I melt.

"That's good," I say with a smile, not bothering to hide the fact that I'm checking him out.

He turns to face me. "I'd like to go take a quick shower. Do you mind if I do it here? I won't be long. I just don't want to get in my car like this," he says, gesturing to his body. "I'm kind of a mess."

"No, that's completely fine," I tell him, eyeing his torso. "You can use the shower in Bucky's bathroom, if you want. I'm sure he won't care."

"Great," he replies, offering me a handsome smile. "Thanks."

(Part Three)

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butwhyduh · 3 years

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Since you wrote Christmas with tha Bois are you planning on writing a New Years Eve fics too 🎇🎉?

*insert surprised pikachu meme*

now I am (!!!)

They are all required to go to a Wayne gala that Bruce has thrown since before he took Dick in as a ward. It’s important. So of course, I wanna show what kind of suits they would wear too. (Indulge me lmao) [none of these images are sensitive. Tumblr is an idiot]

Tim

Okay I get that you wouldn’t think high strung proper Tim Drake Wayne , Mr CEO, would were a pretty casual suit. But he wears a suit everyday and by golly, he isn’t wearing a tie for New Years freakin Eve. It’s something different and he can relax. And he’s so tired of black. Plus the blue brings brings out the color in his eyes.

—————

He adjusted the collar of his suit. He always wore a nice suit to work. But this was for a gala. The tie just wouldn’t lay flat. You walked up behind him and pulled the offensive fabric off and tossed it on the bed. He moved to protest but you started unbuttoning his collar.

“Okay,” he said with a slow smirk. “But it’ll have to be quick.”

“I’m just fixing your shirt,” you said rolling your eyes. “I’m not messing my makeup up before a gala. That looks nicer. I never see you relaxed,” you said leaving your hands on his chest longer than necessary.

“I relax sometimes. I’m relaxing tonight. With you,” he said turning to give you a quick kiss. You smiled and he took a look at your outfit. “I’ll have to keep my eye peeled though. You’re going to attract a lot of attention in that.”

“Too bad I’m already dating a man they couldn’t possibly compete with. Come on, lover boy,” you said and he took your hand before going downstairs.

It was always stressful to first go to a gala. Tim was moderately famous as Bruce Wayne’s heir, heir to the Drake family fortune, and the acting CEO of Wayne Enterprise. Luckily this was very boring to most young people and his pictures were in a small section of the business page of the papers rather than like Dick Grayson being splashed all over the lifestyle section like a celebrity. But cameras flashing as you walked down stairs in heels was terrifying. Tim was the only one to notice as you gripped his arm like a vice each time.

You could usually smile and drink champagne as Tim talked shop with the old men he worked with or young men who were trying to climb the business ladder. Tim’s fingers made idle circles in your hand or on your back as he talked. He was also taking glances at you in you outfit all evening.

Only when he was desperate for a break would he ask you to dance. Tim was a good dancer. He had been taught at an early age. But he was not a natural and he didn’t want you bothered with more photos. You insisted after a full hour of talking about some sort of quarterly investment opportunity that he take you to the dance floor.

“Dance with me, Timmy,” you asked quietly in a lull in the conversation. It was almost midnight anyways. He smiled at you before looking back at the men.

“Excuse us,” Tim said before letting you lead him to the floor. He gently held your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck. The song was fairly slow so you barely danced more than a sway. That was fine. You were more interested in staring in to his ocean eyes than cutting a rug.

“Sorry if it’s been incredibly boring,” Tim said. “You’d probably rather be doing anything else.”

“Dancing is nice. Seeing you more than 5 minutes is nice,” you said.

“Speaking of 5 minutes, it’s 5 minutes until midnight.”

“No more work talk tonight. Just be with me,” you pleaded softly. Tim frowned for a second before pulling you closer.

“I can do that. All yours tonight. I’ll just punch anyone who tries to talk business to me,” he said.

“Good enthusiasm. Terrible plan. Sweet though,” you said kissing his cheek. He smiled.

“Or we could just leave right after New Years,” Tim said with a wiggle of his brows. You giggled.

“Better plan.”

Bruce had gotten on the stage and the music stopped. You didn’t let Tim go. As they counted down to midnight, you and Tim gazed at each other.

3-2-1

🎆🎇

You leaned your face up and kissed him. Tim held your waist tighter and your wrapped your fingers up in his soft black hair. After just a few seconds you pulled back and smiled at him.

“Happy New Years, sunshine,” he said.

“Happy New Years, Duckie.”

“Let’s get out of here before they see us leave,” he suggested. The rest of the night was spent in his room and you were so glad for the loud fireworks to cover any noise you might have made.

Dick

Dick has been to 714 galas. He’s an expert. He’s expected to play the handsome charming eldest son. Wearing a beautiful suit is half the battle. Not to mention, he kinda likes showing off a little. It’s New Years. And the blue and grey bring out the color in his eyes so well.

———————————

Dick barely got in the door before flopping on the bed with his detective uniform still on. You sat on the edge of your bed, already in hair, dress, and makeup, and reached over to rub his shoulders. He groaned softly.

Barely off of work and already having to change into a suit for a family event. Dick needed a day off. Badly. He had the next 3 days off of work and he just had to deal with this night. No, he needed to be positive. You hadn’t done anything and he didn’t want to ruin New Years Eve.

You pushed your palm into a knot on his shoulder. He all but moaned. “Thank you, baby,” he said. “It’s these stupid cases. They have been driving me- baby,” Dick said turning to look and taking you in. “You look good.”

You smiled and giggled. “You think?”

“Always, but this? Wowza,” he said laughing. “Im going be showing off the prettiest girl at the ball,” Dick said sing song. You rolled your eyes with a grin. His compliments were usually over the top.

“Yeah, yeah. Not likely. You need to get dressed or I’m going to be very fancy for no reason,” you said and he hopped up. Dick was overworked but he always was. In record time he was dressed.

“Do you want to drive,” he asked hopefully. A quick 30 minute nap would be awesome.

“I can’t drive the Porsche since it’s stick,” you admitted.

“Well in that case, I’m teaching you soon. But not tonight. You gotta learn how to drive my car,” Dick said and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. You added that to the list of skills he thought completely necessary that hardly anyone could do anymore. Could you even buy a new standard transmission car?

“Sure, hun. Let’s get going before we’re late,” you said kissing his cheek. You straightened his pocket square and you were both out the door.

“-and then you push the clutch. Right here,” he pointed at the floorboard as he drove.

“Not tonight. We can do this some other time. And if we don’t get there, it’s fine,” you said evasively.

“Ever? It’s important to be able to drive any kind of car and if it’s just you and the Porsche,” Dick said with a frown. You could see a contingency plan forming in his head.

“I very much doubt there will be a situation where I have to drive your car,” you said with a shrug.

“I’d rather plan for it,” Dick said and you dropped it. It was like a security blanket for him to plan for anything.

Walking into a gala was exciting and nerve racking. Dick was extremely popular back in Gotham and it was honestly weird as he was normal back in Bludhaven. Dick was the perfect gentleman and made sure you felt comfortable and safe when the cameras flashed. You smiled and ignored whatever anyone said about you. It could be mean with jealousy. You were with him for his money, you were just arm candy, and you weren’t that pretty. The first time had hurt pretty badly. Now you had a new ring on your hand and you felt almost as nervous as your first gala. One through the door to the ballroom, you relaxed.

“Are you okay? You looked really nervous,” Dick said and you grimaced. That sounds like nice pictures.

“Just a little,” you said subconsciously playing with your ring. Dick, of course, noticed right away.

“What’s wrong? Do you not want the ring? Or the engagement,” he asked quietly and it broke your heart that he was even worried about it. His big blue eyes were wide with worry.

“Not at all,” you said grabbing his shoulder. “I just don’t like how they talk. I’m very happy. And I love the ring. It’s beautiful.”

Dick’s frown turned to a pleased smile. “Good. Because that was my mom’s ring.”

“Dick! You gave me a family heirloom without mentioning it? That makes it twice as special,” you said shocked. “Thats so sweet of you.”

You leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I love it. But if you give me something that important again without telling me, I’ll beat you,” you whispered in his ear and he laughed.

“Let’s dance,” Dick said. He pulled you to the dance floor. He was the best dancer out of all of the Wayne children and possibly better than Bruce. He had been dancing since he could walk. His parents were performers and taught him many dance styles. Bruce also insisted that all the children knowing all the common dances they would need to know at a gala.

Keeping up with Dick was the biggest issues with dancing. He could dance quick dances for hours and you had to remind him that not everyone spent hours a day training and fighting. At the moment you had insisted on stopping to get a drink. You practically pounded a water bottle while he sipped on some punch.

“Kinda floral. Not bad. Little sweet,” he said.

“It’s not alcoholic, is it?”

“I don’t think so. It’s just one glass,” Dick said. “I’ll be fine to drive later.”

“No. It’s just that Damian and his girlfriend have a cup each,” you said motioning over to them.

“It’s fine. They wouldn’t give them alcohol,” Dick said and you relaxed. Of course not. That would be crazy to give kids alcohol.

“Let’s sit down. My feet are getting a little tired,” you said with a wince. He nodded and you sat at a table by the dance floor. As if Dick had put out a sign, a bunch of people flocked over to talk to him.

Somehow a plate of small snacks ended up in front of you, probably Alfred. You ate a little while he played the philanthropist son of Bruce Wayne. It was actually really nice to be ignored.

Until it wasn’t.

An older Wayne investor brought a woman over as his ‘date.’ She instantly latched on to Dick and started flirting with him. Her hand kept touching his arms and shoulders. You were getting mad but this wasn’t a surprise. People acted like he was someone they could grope and touch without consequences.

Finally it was too much and you cleared your throat. She looked at you in disgust before going back to flirting with Dick.

“Can you give my fiancé some space,” you asked politely as you could. Her eyes raked over your body.

“He could do so much better than some poor trash like you in a second rate dress. Not even that ugly little ring could change that,” she said nastily. You gasped.

“Okay we’re leaving,” Dick said standing up. The woman had to back away from him. His jaw was clenched in controlled anger. He had a temper and this wasn’t the time to lose it.

You stood up and hissed as your shoes cut into your feet worse than when you had been wearing them all night. Great, you couldn’t even wear heels in front of her. She laughed. Dick simply picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the ballroom and upstairs to his old bedroom. He sat you on the bed gently.

You knew that she was just a vapid socialite but it did hurt. She had pretty accurately attacked your insecurities and you blinked to prevent yourself from crying.

“Baby,” Dick said bending to a crouch in front of you. “Don’t think anything about what she said. She’s just jealous. Not worth your time.”

“She’s not wrong though. I’m just a poor kid trying to fit in in Wayne freaking Manor,” you said wiping your face. Stupid tears.

“And I’m just a circus kid. Don’t forget that,” Dick said sitting beside you. He pulled you into a hug. “Not a single damn bit of that matters. It’s almost midnight in a minute. Do you want to go back downstairs?”

“Not a chance,” you said with a dry smile.

“I figure. We have a better view anyways,” he said opening the curtains. You could vaguely hear the noise downstairs.

3-2-1

🎆🎇

“Happy New Years, baby,” Dick said giving you a kiss. He wiped the tears from your cheek.

“Happy New Years. Sorry I’m all teary,” you said.

“Nope. Don’t be sorry. My new New Years resolution is to make you smile,” he said with a devious look. His fingers suddenly attacked your sides and pulled laughter from you. He pushed you to the bed in his attack.

“Dick! Okay! Quit!” You shrieked with laughter. He stopped his hands and leaned over you.

“Alright. I quit. But since we’re alone. Wanna ring in the New Years the right way,” he asked with a smirk. You grinned back.

“Got any ideas on how to do that?” You asked back.

“So many. Baby, so many,” before kissing you. Fireworks sounded in the background.

Damian

(Older 16 yr old) Damian is literally the son of Batman. He’s going to dress like it. Nice and formal and expensive. It was like a form of armor. Homeboy looks like a million bucks. His watch might be. And if a burgundy turtleneck A accents his well defined pecs, B shows the gold in his tan skin, and C the gorgeous green in his eyes, he ain’t complaining.

“Beloved,” Damian said pulling on his jacket. “Come out,” he said in a sing song voice that would have been completely foreign to hear to anyone else but you.

You flushed as you came out. His jaw dropped before he quickly straightened his face. He’d taken the risk of buying you a dress for the party. He’d seen Bruce do it for women all the time. It was practically his calling card. Even Dick had done it a few times. But this was a first for Damian.

“You look very nice. Beautiful,” he said quietly looking away at his cuff links. “Are you ready to go downstairs?”

“Just my shoes,” you said, trying to slip them on and almost falling over. Damian quickly grabbed your waist.

“I got you. I can put them on,” he said kneeling to the ground. He hadn’t meant anything besides efficiency with his offer. But as he slid your foot into a heel and strapped it across your ankle, it felt far more intimate. His hand held your calf a little longer than necessary before switching to the other foot. This side had a slit up to your thigh and he could see your bare leg up close. Damian gulped before attaching the shoe. He quickly stood up and cleared his throat.

“Are you ready now?”

You nodded. He offered his arm and you went downstairs. Cameras flashed for just a few minutes before Damian skillfully steered you away from them. His father would kill any pictures of you before they got to the papers but Damian knew how much you hated them.

“Dance with me?” You asked and he happily complied. He had been trained in several dance styles and was good at it. He also enjoyed the way you would smile when he would spin you. If it made his beloved happy, he was happy. It attracted a little attention. Bruce Wayne’s teenage son and his date could dance with skill. This too was only viewable in person.

“Let’s get a drink,” Damian said pulling you to the refreshments. You were out of breath but happy and followed him. There was suppose to be people handling the drinks but there were so many people. Damian pushed through and grabbed two drinks and handed one to you.

“Let’s find a table,” you said. As always, Damian pulled you along to a secluded corner close to the door to the garden. Cold air and little whiffs of cigarette smoke swirled around but at least you weren’t in the overheated body filled floor anymore.

You sat and drank at your punch. It was heavily sweetened and floral. It was refreshing and... warm. You waved at yourself.

“Is it hot in here to you?” You asked Damian.

“Want to go for a walk outside? It’s cooler out there,” he suggested. Damian took your arm again and you walked out the door into the garden. A stone path lined little beds of delicate plants. Topiaries lined the path. Small solar lights and the full moon lit the garden. There were a few people walking but not many.

Damian looked so handsome. Long dark lashes frames his bright green eyes. His skin almost glistened with silver light of the moon. He bent and plucked a flower from a bush. Damian tucked it behind you ear with a little smile.

“The prettiest rose in all the garden,” he said and you smiled shyly.

“I don’t think that’s actually a rose though,” you said and he laughed. A rare occurrence.

“It’s not. But I was talking about you. May I kiss you,” he said lightly touching the side of your neck with his hand. You nodded and he leaned down. You closed your eyes and his lips brushed against yours. You pressed a hand against his chest.

Damian’s hand slid to the back of your neck to hold you as he pressed harder against your mouth. His tongue slipped in your mouth and you made the softest whimpering sound. Damian’s eyes flew open and he almost froze. That was new and he could get used to the pretty sound.

You kissed like this for a little while. Damian’s hand slid down to hold your waist when he noticed you shivered. He pulled back.

“Beloved, are you cold,” he asked, cursing himself. Of course, you were cold wearing a thin dress while he was in a full suit. He quickly pulled off his jacket and put it around your shoulders.

“Just a little. It’s fine,” you protested. He insisted on sliding your arms in the sleeves and button the jacket.

“Let’s go in. It’s close to midnight anyways,” Damian said giving you one last kiss.

3-2-1

🎇🎆

“Happy New Years beloved,” he said with a kiss. Damian had grabbed another two glasses of punch and you two touched them in cheers.

“No sir,” Alfred said sternly, taking the glasses from your hands. “No alcohol for either of you. There is juice on the other side of the table.”

You waited until Alfred walked away before laughing. “They should have labeled that better.”

“That explains why it felt overly warm in here earlier,” Damian said thoughtfully.

The music had changed to overly sappy and people were kissing and dancing far too close. They were feeling the effects of the alcohol they had been drinking all night. Damian looked at them in disgust.

“Want to go upstairs,” he asked. You quickly looked at him. “Not like that. We can watch a movie or something, anything away from this.”

“Sounds great,” you said and you both left.

Jason

I’m fairly certain I’ve seen him in a suit like this in the comics. I considered him saying FU to Bruce and showing up in boots and black leather jacket. But Jason knows he looks good in red. And he’d probably get a kick out of wearing one of his suits he wore as Red Hood to a fucking gala. Bruce would know.

—————————

“Princess, if you make me wait any longer I’ll kick down the door and physically carry you to the damn party,” Jason said with no malice in his voice. You opened the bathroom door.

“Not all of us look good without a little work,” you said playfully tapping his chest. You yanked his tie straight with a little more force than needed.

“I’d have to disagree, doll. I’d honestly prefer you in nothing,” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes.

“How does it look?” You said with a twirl.

“Like a million bucks. That ass. Let’s skip the party and-“

“No no no. Let’s get going. You can be handsy later,” you said grabbing your purse.

“Promise,” he asked as you both left. The roads weren’t too bad with ice and in fact, it was going to be a rare dry night in Gotham.

Jason didn’t do pictures. He hated them and so you both parked in the servant entrance and walked in a side door. It didn’t matter. The Manor was beautiful no matter how you looked at it. And being a poor kid from Gotham, you couldn’t believe you were actually at a party in Wayne freaking Manor.

“Don’t be nervous. It’s just a bunch of shitty rich people in pretty walls. They aren’t any better than us. Hell, worth half of you, sweetheart. Let’s get a drink,” he said pulling you to the drink table. It was pretty packed but he muscled through to the front. He got your preferred drink. “And a whiskey on the rocks.”

“Don’t get drunk,” you whispered to him. “I won’t sleep with you drunk.”

“With a finger of water,” Jason added to the bartender who nodded.

“Good save,” you said turning to look at the floor. You sipped your drink and people watched.

Dick and his date were dancing some quick steps in the middle of the floor. No surprise there. Tim was talking to boring business men and his poor date looked absolutely bored on her feet. Alfred was watching Damian and his date from the corner of his eyes whereas Damian seemed completely oblivious with his eyes on her all night. And Bruce was currently heavily flirting with a woman who literally meowed at him. You resisted the urge to gag and turned back to Jason.

“Wanna dance,” Jason asked casually watching the floor. But you knew he wanted to dance because he asked.

“Yeah,” you said grabbing his hand. He pulled to to the floor. Jason was also trained to dance as all the Wayne boys had been. But he was probably the worst dancer out of all of them. His parents had never taught him anything as nice as dancing and he’d only lived with Bruce for a few years before the whole Joker thing. But Jason was a natural athlete and his dancing was still pretty darn good.

The dance was a bit slower than the one Dick and his date had been dancing to earlier. Jason held one hand on your waist and the other stayed in your hand. His dancing was visibly polite and innocent. The words he whispered in your ear were far from.

“Is it hard being the hottest woman here? This dress on your ass is fucking delicious,” he whispered and you flushed at his words. “I can’t wait to fuck you in it later.”

He really enjoyed saying things that were completely naughty in public where you could do nothing about it. But you knew that if he kept it up, you’d be finding a spare room before New Years even came. And you didn’t want to miss the fireworks again this year.

As the song ended, and you thoroughly turned on and scandalized, you asked him to walk in the garden with you. Lover boy needed something to cool him down.

“Sure, Princess,” he said snagging 2 glasses of punch on the way out. You both walked between the flower beds and he told you stories of things that had happened there. “And that’s when Dick accidentally cut the top foot off of this bush. Alfred had him scrubbing floors for a month,” Jason said with a laugh. “It was so bad that there is still a rule of no swords in the garden. Damian hates it.”

“I bet he does. But he could probably destroy the entire garden with a pocket knife,” you said with a laugh. Jason suddenly pulled you to the side with a hush. He motioned over a ways.

“Speaking of the kid, look over there,” Jason whispered. You looked over to see Damian making out with a girl his age. It was so weird to see him being so sweet. “I didn’t know he felt human emotion, much less find someone his age to makeout with.”

“They could have said that about you a few years ago,” you said slyly.

“Yeah, point taken. Want the best view of the fireworks?” Jason said.

“Where?”

“Top of the roof.”

You blanched at the idea. “No thanks. I choose life.”

“It’s safe. There’s a ladder and everything,” Jason said hugging you from behind. “Best view in the house. And if not, dinners on me.”

“Jay, you get the check every time,” you reminded him. He chuckled.

“Maybe I’m just trying to get a pretty girl alone to give her a kiss,” Jason said pulling you to the roof. You flushed. “Unlike demon boy making out in the garden. I have class.”

“You’re a classy lady. Show me the way before I change my mind,” you said. He took you to a ladder over the library. You pulled off your heels and started climbing.

“Don’t worry I’ll catch you you if you fall Princess. I’m right behind you. Did I mention your ass in this dress? I kinda have the perfect view,” he said. You rolled your eyes before throwing your leg over the side of the roof. Jason quickly followed you.

“Here, wear my jacket,” Jason said throwing the red blazer over your shoulder.

“Oo my knife now,” you said feeling in his pocket and pulling out a sizable switchblade.

“I forgot to take it out of there. I wouldn’t touch it too much,” Jason said taking it out of your hands with a grimace. You gave him a look.

“That’s incredibly gross. Seriously. Do I even want to know?”

“Not really. Look at the stars. You can see them through the shitty Gotham sky,” Jason said sitting on a box. He pulled you into his lap and you were grateful as it was really quite cold. You could see some stars and you leaned your back against his chest and looked up at the heavens for a few minutes.

The music stopped downstairs. It must be almost midnight. You couldn’t understand but you heard Bruce talk over a mic. Then everyone started counting.

3–2-1

🎇🎆

“Happy New Years, Jaybird,” you said turning your head and holding Jason’s jaw. You leaned your head up and gave him a kiss. He held you close and you made out until the sound of a firework had you jumping. You laughed before turning to look. The roof really did have the best view.

After a few minutes of watching the fireworks you heard some lewd noises. Jason looked over at a window near your spot.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he said with a disgusted look. “That’s fucking Tim’s room and the sound of him getting laid is literally the last thing I want. What I do want is to take a bite out of that ass I’ve been looking at all night.”

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fairycosmos · 3 years

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hey, i have a sister who struggles with addiction. she moved out from our parents to my place when she turned 18, so that she could have some space and that her highs and lows wouldnt affect our younger siblings that much. but shes been going through a hard time for quite long now, which causes her to treat us around her like complete shit. her behaviour led into a pretty bad argument, which led to me driving her to our parents in the middle of the night cause i couldnt mentally or physically handle the shit she was giving me anymore. after that night, she never returned to mine and told our parents to pick her stuff and move it into a new apartment that she got for herself (which locates in the same building as her friends who she uses substances with). she hasnt reached out to me at all, even though we have been around each other and i cant bare to approach her either, cause im still upset and hurt. my mom said that shes already prepared to lose her. i heard from her friends that shes told them that if she goes unconscious, theyre not allowed to call the ambulance or try to help her. i am worried sick to my stomach everytime i think about her and i feel so powerless. my parents just say that theres nothing more we can do, she goes to psychotherapy and shes under the social services but still i feel like we should do something more to help her or to stop her from destroying herself. im so sorry if this message makes you feel uncomfortable, but since ive followed you for quite awhile and i know your experiences with these things, i would appreciate if you could help me with this situation or at least try to give me some advice, how to cope with these feelings that come from loving your sister that struggles. i dont want to lose her.

hey, i am so sorry to hear this. there's a lot i could say and a lot i want to say but can't really articulate. i don't think there's any one size fits all advice for such a complex and heartbreaking situation. i guess i'll begin with what i'm sure of, and that is that your boundaries and feelings are justified. addiction literally rewires your brain and perception of the world beyond recognition, to the point where the only thing the person cares about is their vice. it's just total tunnel vision, selfishness denial and violence on top of selfishness denial and violence. being around ppl like that, especially a loved one, is beyond exhausting, it's its own special kind of hell. like screaming at a brick wall. it's totally understandable that you had to take a step back after falling victim to her erratic, manipulative and abusive behaviour. the drug use explains it but it absolutely does not excuse it. you're really brave for putting your foot down and prioritizing your own mental stability when it all got to be too much. know you never have to regret that. having said that, it's possible for two conflicting feelings to coexist and for them both to be (for lack of a better word) valid. she's your sister - of course you're worried, of course you're terrified for her. of course you love her even while feeling like you hate her, at times. it's alright to let your emotions be illogical, to just weather the storm and let them pass through you. write it down, talk to your loved ones, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or hotline over it. it's perfectly normal to need that support and talking through your circumstances may be illuminating/lead to some personal revelations regarding how you want to approach this. ultimately, you're angry because you care. after a while i was like that too, with my sister. although i tried to let her know that i was more worried than frustrated during our conversations, sometimes i still couldn't help the internal rage. all because i wanted her to wake up to reality and for her to be okay - i didn't get her thought process at all, didn't get her version of the world. and i felt so fucking powerless because she just strayed so quickly from her path, despite what she was telling me, despite her being relatively fine mere months prior. despite us being best friends and on good terms. it's a headfuck, and you don't have to know what to do, you don't have to have anything figured out. just try to focus on what you need, today.

the hardest thing to accept is the fundamental truth of the situation, and that is that you can't fix this for her. can't love her out of it, can't enable her out of it, can't fight her out of it. all you can do is be there for her emotionally while still maintaining the appropriate boundaries necessary to preserve ur own mental wellbeing. it's completely okay if you need more time - i know you said you cant bear to reach out to her at the moment, which makes total sense. but since you sent this message and i can still see that you're beyond concerned and it's only getting worse, maybe you could consider calling her or sending her a text or meeting her for coffee when you're ready. just to let her know you haven't stopped thinking of her. and that you care about her so much, that when/if she's ready to get help you will be with her every step of the way. even if shes battling addiction for the rest of her life. if she screams at you, if she breaks down, if she ignores you for what you say - fine. but at least she'll know on some level that she is not alone, and at least you'll know you did what you could with what was in your control. also about her being under social services - is there any way you could get in touch with them, maybe explain that youre still worried about her and that you think she needs a higher level of care, maybe ask them if theres anything proactive you can do in collaboration with them to maximize the help shes getting? i dont know how it works where you are, that might be a no go, but i just thought i'd mention it. i'm sorry, i know it's a disappointing answer, but i really don't realistically think there's any other. there's only so much of this that is in your hands and so far it sounds like you've done and are doing everything possible to stay sane while looking out for her. i really really hope something clicks for her and that she starts to listen to you and her loved ones soon, that she begins to approach recovery out of the genuine need to get better. but it really does have to come from within her, all you can do is encourage it. im sending you both so much love. i know more than anyone how fucking stressful it is to have to wake up to this every day, and i'm so sorry. if you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open. you deserve peace in your own life, too. take care x

resource one

resource two

resource three

#tw addiction #tw drugs #anon #talking

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entities-of-posts · 2 years

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since youre doing dream diagnoses, might as well submit mine for judgement

i very rarely remember dreams, and even the ones i do remember end up being all muddled once i wake up. i can vividly remember the FEELING of the dream, but the details are lost

except for the single oldest nightmare i can remember. i can picture just about every detail very clearly in my mind. i had it when i was very young, i was probably a bit older than seven.

a weird thing, to me, about this dream is that it was in first person? ish, it would kinda swap sometimes between first and third, but i was dreaming from my own perspective. this is incredibly unusual for my dreams, i usually dream from the perspective of someone else but in third person, kinda like a movie. im not even IN most of my dreams. not sure what thats about

the dream starts with me and my family sitting in the front yard of my childhood home, my mom and my youngest brother sitting on a blanket. my brother was a baby at the time, old enought to sit up on his own, but not old enough to walk. thats probably not important, but i wanted to make sure to add it

i dont remember what we were doing on the lawn, but we were all kinda just sitting. our cat was there too, and for some reason she opened the front door of our house, but she was standing on two legs and opened it with her paws? but not in a body horror kind of way, it was like that was how she naturally moved. she went inside the house and went around to all the sinks and the bathtub, plugged the drains, and turned the water on. the water ran out of the taps extremely fast, so they were overflowing almost immediately

our cat leaves the house and closes the door as our house fills with water. for some reason none of the doors or windows leaked at all. meanwhile, all of the rest of us were oblivious to what was going on except for me, but i didnt react to any of it. i just kinda stood there as our house filled with water. but at some point after that, my other brother who was not a baby but was also younger than me went to open the front door and i remember yelling something to try and prevent him from opening it, but it didnt work

as soon as the door was opened, a HUGE wall of water burst out of the house. it was gigantic, and way too big to have come out of our house. for some reason at that moment it didnt hit us, but we all freaked out and started running from it.

when i say the wave was gigantic, i mean unfathomably big. it was so high it blocked out the sun completely. you couldnt see where the water ended and the sky began

we all ended up driving in a car trying to run away from this wave, but at this point i started to wake up so i never got to see how it ended, but i remember waking up terrified

this dream is unlike any other dream ive had, even other nightmares. most of my dreams are hazy and i can only remember snippets at best, so im really curious about what this dream is all about

The dauntingly huge wave has something of the Vast to it, but there’s something so reminiscent of climate anxiety about dying in a “natural” disaster because you forgot to turn off the tap that I’ll assign it the Extinction

#of course this particular disaster isn’t actually natural but it’s so reminiscent of a flood or a tsunami that I’ll count it as such #for symbolism purposes #statements #the Extinction #the Vast

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cityofimagines · 4 years

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My Angel – JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: your relationship with JJ is still relatively new, but that doesn’t stop you from showing just how much your care about him after his has an episode with his dad.

A/N: this popped into my brain randomly because im in love with fluffy jj, and jj in general. i literally just wanna give him the biggest hug in the world 🥺 this is also my first real obx imagine so lmk what you guys think!!

warnings: mentions of abuse

word count: 1841

It was currently a perfect day in the Outer Banks. 86 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, on your way to meet your friends on the dock. You finally found a time when everyone was off work simultaneously for the first time this week. John B’s boat was practically rotting from not being used in five days.

You fast walked down the hill to get to the meeting spot. As you got closer, you noticed most of the pogues plus Sarah Cameron, the newest addition to the group thanks to John B, all chatting.

“Hey guys!” You exclaimed as you neared them at the end of the dock.

“Hey (y/n)!” Kie smiled and ran up to give you a short hug.

“What’s up (y/n)?” John B asked, giving you a nod.

You shook your head. “Not much. Just excited to finally see you guys!” Which earned smiles from the rest of the group. Everyone was clad in swimsuits, t shirts, and flip flops, signaling that they were more than ready to get this day going. But before you could, you noticed something major was off. “Where’s JJ?” You asked looking around for your boyfriend.

“We were gonna ask you the same question.” Pope said.

“That’s so weird. We texted earlier and he was obviously down to come...I assumed he’d be the first one here.” You continued.

“Who knows maybe he’s just running a little late. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.” Kie smiled and put a hand to your arm. “We can wait a few more minutes.”

You had been friends with all of the pogues for about two years now, pretty much since the week you moved here. However, you and JJ had only been dating for less than a month, so this relationship was still fairly new. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was having doubts about you or your relationship. After that thought passed you wondered if something bad happened to him. JJ is known for having not the cleanest record, much to your dismay, so you couldn’t help but think he was in trouble. As more time passed, the more negative overthinking you did.

You checked your phone for any sign of him, but the only notifications present were from Apple telling you to update your software for the millionth time. The rest of the group had descended into a random conversation, but finally after 10 minutes of waiting for him you decided to speak up.

“Hey guys? I think I might go look for him…” You trailed off, looking in the other direction towards the rest of the island.

“It is pretty weird...JJ isn’t one to miss out on days like these.” John B added. “You want us to come with you?”

You smiled at his offer, but declined. “No it’s fine honestly. You guys go have fun. Don’t let me ruin your day.”

“You could never.” Kie said. “You’re sure?”

You nodded. “I promise it’s okay. I’m just scared something happened. I’m gonna go look for him and maybe we’ll meet up with you guys later if we can.”

Since your relationship with JJ was still so new, you were still learning how to manage spending time with him alone and spending time with the rest of your friends. You felt bad for leaving them because you hadn’t hung out all week, but something was pulling you towards JJ in that moment.

“Sounds good.” Kie finished. “Good luck and hopefully we’ll see you later!”

“Thanks guys.” You smiled one last time before turning to walk back towards where you came from. Your car was parked in a lot close by, so it didn’t take long for you to get in there and gather your thoughts. Where could JJ be? He couldn’t be at work, because he’s been working with Pope and his dad lately, so obviously if Pope was at the dock JJ would be too. The only other place he could be would be...his house?

The second that thought dawned on you, your face sank. His house.

JJ opened up about his home life to you pretty quickly into your relationship. You had known each other for so long before that he felt like he could trust you explicitly. He told you all about how his mom left when he was young, and how his dad is a disgusting physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. This revelation led to a few tears and more than a few sleepovers at your house.

You backed out of the lot and sped down the streets as fast as you possibly could without it being able to technically count as speeding. Your heart was now pounding at the thought that something bad must have happened today involving his dad.

After a too fast car ride you came up on his street. You parked across the street in front of his house, not even daring to go near the driveway because who knows what his dad would do. You weren’t even completely sure his dad knew you existed.

You felt crazy walking around to the back door dressed in a bikini with nothing but an oversized t-shirt covering you, a messy bun sitting on top of your head, sunglasses behind your ears, and cheap flip flops.

Once you got up to the door, your hand hovered in front of it in a knocking position. Suddenly you were terrified. What if JJ wasn’t even here? What if you were just being a stupid worried clingy girlfriend? What if his dad answered? What would you even do in that situation?

A crazy thought came over you and you decided to forego knocking and reach out for the doorknob instead. You turned it quietly and the door clicked open. You closed it behind you and took a look inside at the house you had only seen a couple times before. Beer bottles lined every open surface. Clothes and dishes were strewn everywhere, medicine bottles sat on the kitchen counters. You bit your lip to keep from tearing up at the sight. The fact that this was the only place the boy who had your heart had to call home broke you.

You walked into the living room and jumped a mile when you saw an adult figure on the couch. Luke Maybank, luckily asleep. Still no sign of JJ.

You walked deeper in the house, down the hall to where you knew JJ’s room was. The door was cracked slightly, and you held your ear up to it. Your heart broke even more when the sound of crying filled your ears. You opened the door and it creaked, causing your boyfriend’s head to snap up in your direction.

“JJ…” You began.

“(Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here-” He said, cutting you off.

No words came out of your mouth for a minute as you took in the sight. He was hunched over sitting on his bed, clutching his side. His shaggy blonde hair looked more oily than normal most likely due to his hands running through it excessively. He had a black eye and a split lip, with random patches of dried blood around his mouth. You had heard about his dad’s horrible parenting, but nothing could have prepared you from seeing its effects in real life for the first time.

Finally you came to your senses. “I was looking for you.” You started. “We were all waiting for you on the dock and when you didn’t show up I just had a feeling something was wrong…God JJ why the fuck didn’t you call me? I would’ve come as soon as I cou-”

“Shh baby. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He said. “C’mere.”

You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you took all of three steps towards him. He wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you in. Your head rested on his.

“It’s not okay!” You cried out, his hair muffling your voice. He shushed you and started rubbing your back.

“I’m fine sweetheart. You shouldn’t even be here anyways-”

“Will you shut up?” You said, the question coming out harsher than you meant. You quickly pulled away and looked down at him. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I’m just fucking frustrated that you have to go through this. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

JJ reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise I’m fine. Go back out with everyone. I’ll catch up later.” He said.

“No.” You shook your head. “We’re going to my house. I’m fixing you up.”

“(y/n)...”

“Either you come with me or I’ll help you here.” You gave him an ultimatum.

He sighed and his head fell forwards on your stomach. He was still sitting on his bed and you stood in between his legs. You grabbed his hand in yours. “Please baby. Let me take care of you.”

“Okay. Your house it is.” You helped him up and walked him out to your car. You even helped him into the passenger seat, much to his dismay. Seeing him like this had you seething inside, you couldn’t help but want to love on him with everything you had.

A short drive to your house later, you walked inside and told him to sit down on the couch. Your parents were both at work and you assumed your older sister was with her own friends. You ran to the bathroom to get bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and an ice pack for his eye.

You sat down with everything and began tending to his cuts. You felt like crying again, but reminded yourself to be strong for him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked after a few moments of silence.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an asshole.”

“I wish I could do something more to stop it.”

“You do enough. I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly.

“Stop it. If anything I don’t deserve you.” You replied. You took the ice pack off his face for a minute to look into his eyes fully. “You’re the best part of my life JJ Maybank. When you’re hurting so am I.”

He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “My angel.”

You wrapped your arms around his torso delicately so as to not hurt him. You weren’t sure if words could adequately describe what you were feeling regarding JJ, so you just sat in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you after a few moments.

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hate making you upset.”

“Not your fault.” You whispered into his shirt. “I would do anything for you. You know that.”

He pushed your head up to his and planted a passionate kiss to your lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead to yours. You ran a gentle hand up and down his side, feeling him get chills as you traced the muscles that hid underneath his soft skin.

“You wanna sleep?” You asked.

“Honestly...yeah.” He said quietly.

You patted his legs twice signaling for him to stand up. You switched positions so you were sitting behind him.

Once he got comfortable in your lap, you started running your hands through his hair and on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed.

“I got you sunshine. You’re safe with me.”

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj imagine #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks headcanon #jj headcanon #jj maybank headcanon #dating jj maybank #john b #rudy pankow #rudy pankow imagine #jj fluff #jj x reader fluff #jj maybank fluff

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vkiflo · 3 years

Text

" One Touch " A Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader Part 1

( Warnings: Fluff , Abuse , R@pe , Self Harm , Bullies ) I wanna be like you, I wanna say that I can I wanna be the person that you think that I am 君のようなひとになりたいな「僕らしいひと」になりたいな " (Y/N), Wake up, Its time for school. " My eyes fluttered open, Immediately closing them due to the sun. Dammit. I woke up once again. Time to go through with another day, Though, I call it hell. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - " Mama! Look! Its a flower! " You Stated out of breath. " Oh my! (Y/N), That's a rare Kiku flower ! Where did you find it ? " Your mother said surprised. " *panting* I-Its up that *Cough* H-Hill !!! " Your mother patted you back while you spoke. Grabbing her hand you ran up the hill, Forcing your mother to run with you. Running up the hill you both saw grass, Flooded with Kiku flowers. " I-Its so pretty !! Oh my god !! Lets bring some back for your dad ! " Your mom stated almost brought to tears. " Okay !! " You said smiling brighter than the sun. " Ahh, That's it ! The prettiest bouquet !! Your dad will love it !! " Your mom said while patting your head. " Lets head back, Okay ? " Ahaha !! Okay mommy !! " You said smiling. You both walked back down the hill towards your house, Holding hands at that. Opening the door to your shared home, Your dad, Cooking dinner happily. " Hey honey " He said kissing mommy's forehead. " Ohh whats this beautiful batch of flowers ?! " Your dad said kneeling down to you patting your head, Then smelling the flowers. " Its for you daddy !! " Your shoved it slightly out into his hands while giving him your signature smile. He took them happily and shed a tear. " Thank you so much (Y/N) ! O-Oh !! These are Kiku flowers !! Very rare ! Where did you find them !? " You laughed a bit and said " Its up the hill !! You should come with us one day to see them !! All of them are super duper pretty !! " You said smiling. " Okay ! We'll go tomorrow afternoon, For now, Lets go eat lunch !! " That tomorrow afternoon ? Never happened. Why? Your blood birth mother. Was killed. After that, Your dad became depressed. He cried every night. You'd try to comfort him. But he kept pushing you away. You soon became lonely. No one to talk to. No one to play with. No one to smile to. So. You formed the exact same thing you dad had. At the time you didn't know what it was called. But you didn't like it.

Your dad soon started the desire to get his frustration out by hitting things, and that thing. Was you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Looking around my room, Looking for my uniform, I spotted him. My dad. Oh how much i hated him for how much torture he put me through. I got up and said good morning to my dad. He walked out to get back to bed, I mean.. Its 5 AM. Since he doesn't drive me to school, i walk. If want to, I can just go and do it. But then would that really be me? 望むならそうすりゃいいけどさ ; でもそれってほんとにぼくなのかい Arriving to school, I plastered a smile across my face, Though, It was fake. Oh look. Its Fumihiro Sato. The biggest bully of our school. Itachiyama High School. Walking past him i tried not to get seen. Unsuccessful, As always. " (Y/N) !! Not gonna say good morning ?? Whats wrong with you !? " He said waving his hand in the air with his hand in his pocket. Not wanting to communicate, I ran, Terrified he would catch me. He started running after me, Not even being able to get into the school, He tripped me and grabbed me throat. " What happened to greeting your friends ? Huh ? " He said tightening his grip on my throat, Then slapping my cheek. Hard. " Hey. Get out of my way. " A boy stated seeming pissed. He wore a mask with a disgusted face. Fumihiro, For some reason, Moved out of the way. Dragging me along with him. I started choking, Hard. Though no one cared. But- He did ?? " And also,, Get your filthy hands off of her. Now. " The boy with curly hair wore a sadistic death glare towards Fumihiro. And would you look at that. He got off me and walked off, Sulking. I guess Fumihiro has a new target. Though I doubt he could ever beat him. The boy that helped me walked off into the school without another word. I ran into the school as well not wanting Fumihiro to come back after me when he was out of our view. I tried looking after him to thank him. But he was gone. I had about an hour before school started, So I decided to go sleep in the classroom until the bell rang, which it would wake me up. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - One child's-play dream. The way I am, someone like me is better off dead. 子供騙しな夢一つこんな僕なら死ねばいいのにT **bell ring** 'crap... Its time for school' * yawn * " Good Morning class. Before we start our lesson on Environmental Science, We have a new student joining us." I don't really pay attention to new students or people in general, But when i heard his voice, I recognized him and looked up. Oh, Its him. The kind guy who saved me. Or... That one time he was being kind... " Sakusa Kiyoomi. " He said plainly. The teacher waited a solid ten seconds thinking he would say more. Yeah no. He was done. " O-Oh !! I guess that was it ? O-Okay ! Sit in front of the girl with the (H/C)... " She went up to him to whisper something, I already know it was about me. But... He,, Moved away ? And walked towards his seat, leaving the teacher dumbfound. He walked up to his seat and grabbed some paper towels.. And wiped his seat and desk. Then he put on hand sanitizer. School ended and I headed to my club, Volleyball manager at the Highschool Itachiyama Volleyball Club. I was told we were getting a new member so i hurried to see who it was. These were really my only friends. Well... Sort of. I don't open up to them much because i feel if i do, they'll betray me after knowing the truth, And then act just like Fumihiro. I really do not want that to happen. So i'll just keep suffering alone. Just how its always been. " (Y/N) !! Cmon in ! We have a new member as we told everyone, Could you go wash his uniform and add his name onto a jacket ? " Motoya said while hitting a spike to the other side of the net. I nodded and got to work. Maybe about an hour later, We head the gym door open and i knew who it was, The new member. I grabbed the uniform and jacket and rushed to greet him. H-Hey- Isn't that the guy whose in all of my classes !? Welp, Doesn't really matter much. " Hey Sakusa I didnt know you were the one who would be joining !! Guys ! This is Sakusa Kiyoomi, My cousin !! " I walked up to him and gave him his clean uniform. And ran off to go set for others. Where someone like me being alive brings sadness to tens of thousands of people こんな僕が生きてるだけで何万人のひとが悲しんで " Dad, Im home. " I said forcing myself. " Oh ! (Y/N),, "

#sakusa kiyoomi haikyuu x reader sakusa x reader haikyuuimagines haikyuu x reader sakusa kiyoomi moyota volleyball fanfic

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jackalopefreckles · 3 years

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I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

#TIRED #happy covid anniversary #time to post this without reading it lmao #long post #rambles

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therukurals · 3 years

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Tagged by the very cool @dingyuxi (thanks fam!)

and tagging some mutuals off the top off my head no pressure! @melonatures, @deokmis @gimme-a-chocolate @forursmiles @digimoo @junghaesin @rain-hat @mockingjaypin @roarofalannister @seongwu

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? I have a couple, but one is red/black, one is blue, and the other white/gray

2. Name a food you never eat. Okra, my mom promised me I’d grow out of my distaste but im 26 and its still no

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold I am a tropics baby i thrive in heat (i know i live in the midwest)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? trying to unclog our pipes with a bladder and some amateur plumbing

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? uhhh, anything chocolate but the kinder bueno ones

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? A couple, mainly basketball and went to one american football game because bb bro was too young to go by himself and i just sat and read a book

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? My roommate and I are dealing with a plumbing issue and trying to fix it and I have a call soon so I said let’s pause and come back to it later.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Green tea followed closely by coffee.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? Yeah, i like its. its long and solid

11. What is the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip cookie

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? lol no

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? uhhhh idk, not an actual match but i think some mbappe highlights?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? ooooo classic butter or kettle.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? uh it was a group chat with my colleagues

16. Ever been camping? Yeah, when I was young. It wasnt straight camping it was at a site and it was with my girl scout troop lmao

17. Do you take vitamins? not regularly, sometimes some vitamin c if im feeling a little throat something coming up or iron before i donate blood

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Not in a religious way? and when you do community organizing/work you are in a lot of churches and they always pray at the neighborhood association meetings.

19. Do you have a tan? lmaooooo. i am blessedly melenated and usually get a nice tan but its winter and lockdown so ive lost some of that :_;

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? lmao im with sam on this question, i dont like this question cause its a false equivalency and definitely chinese because the options??? and chinese food is so good???

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? uhhh....not really? usually in a glass or in a bottle.

22. What color socks do you usually wear? girl whatever socks i get, they range from black to white to pink to gray they dont match 90% of the time

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? wouldnt you like to know

24. What terrifies you? on a philosophical level seeing my loved ones hurt and failure. more physically? frogs freak me out, people in easter bunny costumes, clowns, and medieval plague doctors, actually the concept of existing in medieval Europe terrifies me

25. Look to your left, what do you see? im on our large conference table and it has a bunch of stuff but immediately to my life is my phone, some pens, my bullet journal and my copy of “collective courage”

26. What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes!!!! And compost

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? idk??? steve irwin?

28. What’s your favorite soda? Root beer and vanilla coke

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thrus, because im probably already out and around doing errands.

30. What’s your favorite number? 13

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My roommate, again about this plumbing issue.

32. Favorite meat? I really dont have a preference tbh, depends how they are prepared

33. Last song you listened to? Do it on the tip by Megan thee Stallion ft the City Girls

34. Last book you read? In the middle of a reread for “Collective Courage: A History of African American Cooperative Economic Thought and Practice.” by Jessica Gordon Nembhard and just starting “Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents “ by Isabel Wilkerson.

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? maybe if i tried really hard but im not going to try

37. How do you like your coffee? With a little bit of creamer and sugar, like a decent brown color. I like the flavor of coffee so i dont want it too diluted.

38. Favorite pair of shoes? uh, dont really have one but something i can slip in and out of lmao

39. Time you normally get up? around 8/8:30am but in my heart id like to wake up at 10 or 11 ;_;

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets!!! also sunrises involve me getting up early and im not doing that hell no

41. How many blankets on your bed? Two since its winter, a comforter and a thick wool one.

42. Describe your kitchen plates super basic white round plates.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment messy, we havent been able to wash our dishes because of the plumbing issue so hopefully that can be fixed today

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? mmmmm, idk? i have grown to like a good whiskey, usually a bulleit bourbon or this one bourbon w get from a local distillery. really any dark liquors, i will not do beer that shits dissssssgusting

45. Do you play cards? not regularly and i have tried to learn how to play eucher and spades and each time ppl explain it to me i forget it the next day and i just dont have that kind of brain capacity.

46. What color is your car? uh.....so i live in a commune basically lmao and we share vehicles so i personally dont own one but the couple i share with some other folks is Black and gold

47. Can you change a tire? Yeah, one unique thing about my parents were they were very fair around gendered roles(especially for south asians), so my mom was strict with my brother around learning how to cook/clean and my dad taught me how to work on cars/maintenance work around the house. so i can change tires/oil/do other car work

48. Your favorite state or province? i really like the pacific northwest and miss it.

49. Favorite job you’ve had? being an instructor for a course on globalization in college! also idk if i can classify what i do now as a “job” because its....unique but that too

#tagged in #long post #and anyone if we talk or are mutuals

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angel-deux-writes · 4 years

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I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this On Here, but I really want to tell the story of the guy who put in my kitchen floors because it was terrifying

im putting it under a cut bc it’s probably not that long, but who knows.

(scrolled back up after i actually wrote it to confirm that it is in fact long)

Some backstory is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky and got my condo very cheap in a neighborhood I already knew I loved. The other unit I’d looked at was a full 30k over my budget, but this one was perfect because the owner hadn’t updated ANYTHING since it was built in 1985, so it was just...awful. Awful rugs, awful floors, awful walls. My dad is like...the dad who loves a project, so he was all “I can fix all of this except the floors!!! it’ll be great!!”, so I bought it. We hired a local company to do the floors, not wanting to go to Home Depot or whatever (Which i still support in theory, just......not this company lmao). Everything except the kitchen and bathroom was originally carpet. Hallways, stairs, every single room. And it was cheap industrial carpet, too. Like the kind in office buildings. The dude who did the carpet was like “what the fuck were they thinking???”

Also, one of the carpets had a truly upsetting rusty stain, so. My guest bedroom might be haunted.

Anyway, the carpet guy was great. He was the owner of the company, and he was older and very kind. I had my mom come over with me when he was doing the carpets, but I didn’t even need her there. He was cool. His son was in charge of the hardwood portion (I say “hardwood”. I mean, like, the cheapest laminate while still looking nice lmao). He was less great. He had a team of like 3 dudes and 1 lady who would show up and work, doing my office/dining room and upstairs hallway. I know carpet is easier, but the carpet guy took one day, and these guys took a week and a half. They messed up a few times, and it was kind of stressful, but overall it was okay. They had to redo all the subfloors, because condos built in 1985 were almost universally built in buckwild, impossible-to-explain ways, so it took forever. The hardwood guys were loud as hell, but they were nice!

At one point, one of the nicest guys accidentally broke a few of my kitchen tiles while putting in the transition from the wood to the tile. I was cool with it, tbh, but he offered a discount on a new kitchen floor because, shocker, the subfloor under the broken tile was really jacked up, and it wouldn’t be as simple as taking a tile from under the fridge and replacing it. I was like, okay, cool! We set it up.

I did not hear from them for four months. Which, I get it. It was a discounted job, so obviously they wanted to do full-price jobs first. I have no problem with that. The same hardwood guys came back to do the subfloor, and then they were like “okay [the owner’s son] will contact you about the tiles. That took about a week. Finally, I got a date. It was a Friday, a day when my sister was already working from home, so she was like “yeah, I can handle it.” She works in interior design, so she’s used to dealing with construction people, and she was REALLY useful when it came to talking down the son of the owner, who was like...every bad stereotype about contractors meshed with a used car salesman.

So I’m at work the day the tiling is supposed happen. My sister is fine at first, texting me about how the son showed up with one single guy, and then left, so it was only the single guy working. She was annoyed like “it’s supposed to take one day, right? That’s what they said? There’s no way he’s finishing at this pace. Why are they making this guy do the whole thing by himself?”. She called him “nice, kind of cute, but a very slow worker”. I was like ‘well, if they have to come back tomorrow, whatever, that’s fine’.”

Around 10:30 she starts texting me increasingly insane shit.

“He’s talking to himself downstairs? Maybe he’s on the phone”.

“He keeps dropping stuff and yelling SHIT really loudly.”

“Someone just showed up with a bag, and he let them in, and they chatted in the kitchen for like ten minutes, and then the person left, and they didn’t take the bag with them”.

“He’s standing outside using the tile cutter and SCREAMING whenever it’s on.”

“He’s out in the rain and shout-singing something while he’s cutting tile”

“He is BARKING LIKE A DOG TO THE TUNE OF THE RUGRATS THEME SONG CAN YOU PLEASE COME HOME”

I’m half convinced she’s making this shit up, but she’s uncomfortable so I tell my boss what’s going on and race home. When I get there, there’s a vaguely adam driver looking guy who seems nice enough. A little startled to see me, but we make pleasant conversation, I see that he’s not very far along, and then I go upstairs to see my sister. I brought her takeout as a treat, and we sit there for a while talking about normal things. Gradually, downstairs, the dude starts talking to himself. I’m thinking that’s still not THAT weird. Then he starts singing and clapping along. Okay, a BIT weird, but not terrible. I decide to go downstairs into the living room and play some Playstation. Like, maybe he thinks we can’t hear him upstairs and he’ll be more chill when i’m down there? NOPE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! He does the barking thing again (and it is, in fact, the rugrats theme song), he’s working at a pace of about one tile per hour, and he starts singing a song that consists only of the word “bitch” over and over again.

I’m texting my dad, freaking out, and he tries to get in contact with the owner or his son, but nobody’s answering the phone. My other sister and her friend are on their way for game night. My sister’s boyfriend should be home soon from work, but not soon enough. It is, at this point, 7 pm. There is absolutely no chance he’s getting these tiles done today. He’s not even halfway done. My kitchen is VERY SMALL, by the way, so this reasonably could have been done in a day with two people, but I suspect that because it was a discount job, we got the discount treatment.

My other sister and her friend show up, and the guy is perfectly pleasant and normal to them. We all go upstairs into my sister’s room, and we sit there, waiting in silence for it to start again, hoping that maybe with more people in the house, he’ll be okay.

NOPE! He starts singing the “bitch” song again. I distinctly remember my other sister whispering “I love this song” and pretending to groove, which was kind of funny but NOT THE TIME. I’m sitting on my sister’s bed clutching a camp axe like a maniac, because I’m like “we are going to be killed by this giant kylo ren asshole”. I’m still texting my dad, who’s like “if you need me to come over, I can, i’m out of work”, but at this point it’s almost 8 and I’m also thinking about my neighbors. Like, he can’t be here at night. He just can’t. He’s so loud even just doing regular tile things!

I muster up LITERALLY EVERY IOTA OF COURAGE THAT I HAVE, and I head downstairs. I ask him when he’s planning on wrapping up, because I know there’s no way he’s going to finish tonight. He tells me it’ll probably take about two more hours. That is 1) absolutely not true and 2) not something I’m willing to deal with because I live in a condo with neighbors on either side of me, and one of my neighbors is a truck driver who gets up at like 4 am! So I explain that my friends and I have an obligation to get to, and I would love it if we could arrange for someone to continue the work tomorrow. He’s SUPER NICE ABOUT IT and is like “oh, okay, no problem!” He leaves. Just...walks into the rain. Leaves all his tools and his tile cutter. I move it inside because it was on my front porch and it is, again, raining.

My sister, a Nancy Drew Game fiend, starts searching the entire downstairs and eventually finds the plastic bag that someone brought him. My other sister, who is a nurse in a hospital that primarily treats overdose patients, is like “yep, that’s drug residue for sure”. I’m like, okay, so he didn’t hurt any of us, and he was nice, just....high and weird. But it’s over now, so whatever. My dad says he’ll call the owner’s son the next day, and everything’s cool. He also says that he, my mom, and my brother will all come over to watch the football game at my house the next day just to be there (which...im less than thrilled about the football part, but sure). I also beg my friend to drive up from the Cape to pick up his hat that he left at my condo over the summer just so he can chill for a few hours in the morning.

The next day, the same guy returns, with the owner’s son this time. The owner’s son is like “why did you only get this far along?” but otherwise doesn’t really say anything. The barking guy is TOTALLY FINE, totally polite. My friend lingers as long as he can, but there’s an ice storm coming, so he peaces out eventually. I’m alone for about an hour with the guy, and nothing happens. He’s quiet, even when the owner’s son peaces for a bit. My parents show up, we watch the football game, and nothing happens. I feel like A LUNATIC, because my dad is like “he seems fine now” and I’m like NO BUT YESTERDAY WAS TERRIFYING.

Anyway, so that’s the story. I didn’t end up saying anything to the owner’s son, but my dad reamed him out a bit for sending only one person to do a job meant for two. And now every time I drive by that business I suppress a shudder, and sometimes the barking version of the Rugrats theme song still gets stuck in my head.

#genuinely it was so so scary but he never even did anything? he was just weird #and almost definitely high #the barking thing was almost funny? like it would have been funny if he wasn't in my house

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crystu-cii · 3 years

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XD Yeah, better to do the stuff that's harder to do at home in school imo-

Ooooh well good luck if/when you ask-- XDD

It is the perfect opportunity to have short hair! Why do you think I buzzed all mine off! XD I think you'd look lovely with short hair -w-

I don't wanna grow up either tbh XD but like *freedom--* how close is freedom and short hair to your grasp anyways? XD

Pixie cuts are actually a fem haircut, but a short bob would also be super cute :3 also I'm a femboy XD well.. I own very little fem stuff bc I didn't like being perceived as a girl so I got rid of the stuff and then later I was like "...wait fuck i still like dresses--"

STIM SQUADD-- I always get nervous mentioning stimming bc people will be confused and I suck at explaining stuff- yesss sameee!!! I bounce on my bed or rock in place when I'm happy(and alone bc family thinks it's weird ;w;) or pace around the house XDD OMS YES I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN WE BECAME FRIENDS AAAA-- I have a friend I ramble to about everything I love too!! Her name is Jade and we adopted each other as siblings asgkhdj-- ASJKF ITS NOT WEIRD OR CREEPY AT ALL IVE RAMBLED TO JADE ABOUT YOU BEFORE XD 💖💕💞💖💞💕

Technically I have access to both but my computer can't handle minecraft so I play bedrock ;w; although can't you play cross platform if you use a realm tho-? I'd have to check but--

Also something tells me that if everyone you ask has bedrock you picked the wrong version XD

A ferris wheel?? Terrifying- XD sounds fun tho!!! Aside from being so high in the air XD ferris wheels are pretty tho so I can forgive them :3

ahh TYSM! 😭💞❤️💕💖💝 and it ISSS like UGH- but the only thing my mom decided to try out was make my hair layered- cause she would always cut my hair where the ends are all straight and even- but imo i liked layered hair so much more! still wish i had it short tho- xDD

but how close freedom is? gosh i would ask my mom the same question- but im just assuming its whenever you turn into an adult- but i guess i gotta wait and see ;0;

and ooooo i see! random but im also debating whether i am cisgender or not- im kinda leaning that im more cis but im also debating if im bigender(?) or something- ive already accepted he/him pronouns so i guess thats a start- but again ahh i dunno ;w;;

and omgg YESS and aw your family thinks its weird? thats not good ;; - OKAY HOLY CRAP THAT REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING THAT PISSES ME OFF- okay so like- i also pace and walk around places SO DAMN much- like- i swear- i walked like a million circles in my room xD- but i also tend to do it in public and my mom would literally YELLL AT ME whenever i do it! and then she would say "im getting a headache just by looking at you. and others will too." and im mentally like "aight- then thats your fault for looking at me- not mine???" *-visible confusion-* and it doesnt even have to be in public- even when were in the house and im next to her, she would get mad at me- and UGHHHHH IT DRIVES ME crazy i hate it 😭😭

but thank gosh she doesnt yell at me anymore (i think) maybe cause she was just tired of yelling at me for it orrr she realized she can neva stop me xDDD but i just still get mad that my mom would yell at me for something i consider so harmless ;0;;

but OMGMG YAYY- rambling to friends about things its just amazing XDD literally to larie and tree i was like "HRYEHEYHEYE SO I MADE THIS NEW FRIEND ON TUMBLR AND I RAMBLE OF EVERYTHING TO THEM AND THEY RAMBLE BACK AND ITS AWESOME GUSYGUDYUGYS-" like i GO BONKERSSS 💖😭💕💝💖❤️💞

and OOOoohh i see! but aww rip computer- and crossplatforming on the realms? i didnt know bout that! but i never really joined a realm before- i attempted to when a server made a realm and i wanted to join but my game was like "n o"- i dunno why but wahh xDD

but lowkey i guess i DID xD but i actually use my brother's minecraft java account since he barely plays minecraft anymore- (sometimes he does tho) and he gave me it wayyy back then- i started playing it at 2013! and man it was a journey- and it also held pretty embarrassing memories- i would rage on the servers so much- xDD ;W; but i was lowkey crazy when i heard everyone i meet had bedrock instead- i was like- "GUYS BUT WHAT ABOUT HYPIXEL?!(HWJFKAU" but then again- i never had bedrock before so i guess i cant blame em for getting it instead xD and im cheap so i dont think i'll get myself a bedrock account any time soon

and hell yeah! it was pretty scary since my fear for heights is kindaaa big- but i handled it well xD it was fun :D

#the rambles of crystu

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nostallgias · 4 years

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☆ . * ( kristine froseth, cis female, she / her ) hey, look !! indigo ‘indie’ dahl aka @nostalgias is online and ready to write another anonymous post on the broken hearts club. rumor has it they’re here because she ran away from her hometown to escape her family and ex lover. out in the real world she is a musician / bartender. the 22 year old is known for being flighty & impetuous but make up for it by being vivacious & determined. if they were to describe themselves they’d say they’re chipped nail polish, lipstick stains on cigarettes, driving with the window down and their favorite song is gold dust woman by fleetwood mac.

hello everyone, i’m so happy 2 b in this rp !!! my name is diana, i’m twenty yrs old, a libra, and reside in the est timezone. some quick facts abt me ... i am a girl group stan and lana del rey enthusiast. i also luv cats. anyway, enough abt me, u can learn abt my muse indigo under the cut !!! my discord is missing blackpink hours#5522 so pls hit me up there or in the im’s for plots !! i cannot wait to get started <3 tw: briefly mentions alcoholism & drugs

☆ . * 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 !

full name : indigo dahl

nickname(s) : indie

zodiac : sagittarius sun, gemini moon ( click )

sexuality : bisexual

alignment : chaotic good

pinterest : click

☆ . * 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 !

indie grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone. she was restless and curious, but there wasn’t much to do in a town that small

her parents were really big on music, so there was always something playing in the household. it’s safe to say music took over her life. she started to learn guitar, then later bass

but sadly her dad left them when she was still young. she wanted him to take her with him, so she could finally get out of that stupid town, but he left her with her mother and never looked back :/

indie and her mom didn’t get along too well. she basically planned indie’s entire life out, down to who she should marry. after her father left them, her mom wasn’t rly able to cope with it too well and she kinda turned to drinking, and the music that was always playing stopped :(

indie spent her middle and high school years taking care of her mom, who was too drunk to function at all times. she couldn’t keep a job, which, was fine at first because indie’s grandparents ( her mother’s parents ) were fairly well off, and they could live off of them

that was until her grandparent’s cut them off after finally noticing their daughter was an alcoholic. so, they were pretty much left with no source of income

indie started working as soon as she was old enough. she worked two jobs in high school, which didn’t leave her much time to focus on school. she never cared for school anyway, her focus was always music, but she didn’t even have much time for that anymore

her mother seemed to have a new boyfriend every week, men who always acted like they were here to say. all of them tried to control indie, but she resented every single one of them. she could see through the lies

she spent most of her time away from home, she didn’t even like sleeping there. it didn’t feel like home anymore, and it hadn’t for a long time

one day, one of her mother’s boyfriends actually stuck around. indie just kept waiting and waiting for the day he’d leave, but he never did. her mother remarried

after remarrying, her mother kinda got her life back on track again. she immediately went back to trying to control indie again. indie absolutely hated it, but she was happy to see her mother in a good place again, so she tried to fit the mold

indie barely graduated high school and never went to college. she continued working for the next few years, saving up money and working on music

she started dating the guy her mother chose for her. it was okay at first, but the spark was always missing. the longer she was with him though, she began to realize that he wanted to stay in that stupid little town forever, and the idea of spending the rest of her life there terrified her so much she decided to runaway

so, she packed all her things and ran away in the middle of the night. she drove through the night to find her father, but when she found him, she learned he had remarried and started a new family

deep down, she always knew he didn’t want her, otherwise he would’ve made an effort over the years. but she really had to see it to believe it

and that’s how she found her way to chicago. she never told her mother where she went, but she knew she was looking for her and so was her ex

her grandparent’s send her money every once in a while, and although they aren’t close, they understand why she ran away and want her to have the chance to start fresh

she stumbled across the forum one day and decided to join it, because she was starting to feel a little lost and it has helped her a lot

☆ . * 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 !

indie is extremely extroverted. she is a social butterfly and will befriend literally anyone. the tricky part is getting close to her, though. she tends to keep her emotions to herself. she presents a version of herself to the world, one who is always happy and alive because she thinks that’s the only version of her that people will like

she has such a curious soul !! all she wants to do is explore and experience new things, so she’s always down for an adventure. she loves a good party because she loves to be around people. she’s a social drinker and drug user ( except for weed, which she smokes a lot )

indie doesn’t have any idea about what love is, but she knows she wants it. she wants a great, interesting, devoted love, but is having trouble finding it. so she tends to have a lot of lovers, but they mostly end up being casual. she gets bored easily, so if it isn’t exciting at all times, she kinda dips akjsdhsdjhk it’s her fear of abandonment

she is obsessed with the 70′s, from the music to the aesthetics. stevie nicks is her inspiration. she loves music of all eras, though. she loves thrifting, and her style is heavily influenced by 70′s fashion

she can be pretty spontaneous, but also reckless. she wants everything in life to be an adventure, so it has gotten her into trouble in the past

hates authority figures, literally she has so much trouble with respecting authority now because she feels like she wasted her entire life doing that for people who didn’t respect her

has a hard time taking things seriously, except for music because that is her entire life

☆ . * 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 !

party buddies - they always go to parties together. maybe they don’t see each other outside of parties, maybe they met at a party and became close friends afterwards

drinking / smoking buddies - someone she can drink or smoke with. maybe they have a more casual friendship, but anytime they hang out, they share some interesting conversations

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

frenemies - they’re friends, but maybe they’re always trying to one up each other. they might gossip behind each other’s backs. sometimes they get along perfectly well, but maybe sometimes they get into stupid fights

protective friends - friends who feel extremely protective over one another. indie will literally fight anyone who hurts them

sibling-like friendship - indie is an only child, so i would love for her to have someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other, look out for one another and always have each other’s backs

dynamic duo / best friend - ride or dies. platonic soulmates !! this person is probably the closest friend she has and actually knows her well ! a power duo

partner in crime - someone who always goes along with her antics. someone who she bounces off of and they do dumb / fun shit together !!! her adventure buddy

online friends - her favorite person on the forum. she is always interacting with them and is literally always the first to comment on their posts or something. maybe they confide in each other

bandmates - if your muse sings, plays guitar, bass, drums or keyboard, they can be in a band !!! indie plays guitar, bass, and also sings so she can do whichever of these is needed !! she also likes to compose music, but with bandmates they will collaborate and make stuff together of course

groupie love - i didn’t know what to call this plot so pls ignore the name, i went for a lana del rey song title aksdhsdjkh but basically maybe ur muse was there at one of the little gigs she played and they became acquainted after that !!! this can be romantic or platonic, we can plot it however. but maybe they keep going to her shows and she’s always happy to see them

flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of their flirting. maybe they have good chemistry, but haven’t really tried to explore it further

ex-fling - maybe they ended things more recently, or maybe they ended things a few months or a year ago. they could have ended on good or bad terms. maybe someone or both of them still have feelings, or maybe they’re just friends or don’t talk now

current fling / friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t

requited / unrequited crush - maybe she has a crush on ur muse, whether it’s a deep crush or a more surface level crush. OR ur muse could have a crush on her and maybe she’s oblivious to it !!! maybe our muses have crushes on each other !!! maybe it isn’t super serious, or maybe it is

will they, won’t they - there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances

take care - someone who looks after her when she parties a little too hard !!! someone she trusts who keeps her out of trouble when she’s under the influence and feeling too reckless for her own good

enemies w/ benefits - there was always underlying tension between them, even though they couldn’t really stand each other. maybe they hooked up at a party and now, despite their personal feelings towards each other, they still continue to hook up

cyber sex - once again, i didnt kno what to title this so i went for a doja cat song AJKSDSJKH but basically someone on the forum she has a crush on. i think it’s funny because she has noooo idea who they are irl but maybe they connect super well online

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a best / close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they strongly dislike each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

dealer - someone she buys drugs from, they could be friends or it’s strictly business

bad influence - someone indie is a bad influence on. she maybe influences them to party, drink or do drugs, or do stupid reckless things with her

good influence - someone that is a good influence on her and gets her to keep her act together. she has trouble caring about anything that isn’t music related, so this person can keep her on track

roommates - one to two people that she lives with !!! they can get along, or maybe they don’t vibe super well. but if they do get along they can do cute stuff like bake and watch movies together

coworkers - indie is a bartender, so she can work at the bar or restaurant that your muse works at

meet me at the bar - someone who frequents her job a lot. maybe they’re her favorite customer and she loves whenever they come. we can plot this out however !!!

congratulations !!! you have finally reached the end of my unnecessarily long intro aksdjhsdjhk i would like to thank u for reading and apologize for all the rambling i did <3 anyway i would luv to plot, so i’ll send message u asap if u like this post !!! we can definitely plot over im’s, but i am partial to discord if u wanna add me there: missing blackpink hours#5522

#hearts:intro #☆ . * 𝒈𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 ╱ ooc.#this kinda got long.....i'm so sorry i rly do not deserve rights #pls plot with me anyway <3

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thegeminisage · 4 years

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the tornado story

ok so what happened was there was a tornado in georgia & i got a warning for it on my phone & i was like “lol thats weird who cares about a tornado in georgia we’re not in georgia” except a bit later like RIGHT after we left my brother’s house (he’s in greenwood & we were visiting for mom’s bday) my phone went FUCKING BANANAS lit up with warnings like “torando warning we’ve laid eyes on it take shelter NOW” thats just how fast the goddamn thing was

& my mom was like, it’s totally calm out here, it’s 70 frickin degrees, im still smoking, we already left (we were like...stopped at a gas station just a few blocks away), she wanted to go home, and i (having an anxiety disorder and having also seen twister) was like HAHA NO? & she was like “look if u dont want to drive let me drive” & i was like “u can drive but i am not going on a bigass long road with a tornado on the ground in the DARK i am staying here at this gas station & i will somehow find my own way home after there is no longer a tornado u can take my van but i am a grown adult i will not move my body” and she thought i was being STUPID and i had to like really start letting my panic slip thru to get her to believe i was serious AND THEN

my brother, a real g, called & he was like, my & SIL’s phones just went apeshit there’s a tornado come back to our house & wait it out and so that’s what we decided to do

except we’d spent all those precious minutes ARGUING about it.

i should note that like as soon as mom mentioned how still and calm the weather was it turned pleasantly breezy, and then windy, and then started to drizzle, then rain - it had been overcast all day ofc raining on & off but it like then it really started to RAIN rain

so we drive back to my brothers house, again only a few blocks away, and im like apologizing to my mom bc its her bday celebration & i know how bad she wants to go home etc etc etc and believe it or not lads

we fucking drove almost right through it

the rain was so thick and so fast that i could not see how to drive my van. i had my headlights on, my hazards on, my wipers going, etc - i’m no stranger to extremely heavy storms, i live in the southeast, i’ve been to florida, strong storms don’t scare me, but jesus FUCK...i cannot do justice to just how pants-shittingly terrifying it was to look out from the windshield and see nothing but this...horribly violent and turbulent grayish wall of water

and like the rain hitting the windows was DEAFENING but even through that you could hear the wind doing this weird...low...it sounds like a train and i only ever hear wind do that in hurricanes. sometimes you can almost feel it in the ground, that frequency - and you could hear not only the thunder rumbling but like things cracking and breaking - tree limbs, my best guess, we were lucky nothing hit the van

and i could feel the wind pulling at the car like i had to fight to keep it going straight and i want to emphasize again that i COULD NOT SEE i don’t mean low visibility or even extremely low visibility i mean i COULD NOT even a LITTLE bit see!! my van might as well have been in the bottom of a lake my windows might as well have been covered in blackout paint i mean there was NOTHING...i was inching along and every once in awhile caught sight of a landmark through a gap in the water or the silhouette of one when lightning flashed (which it did frequently)

and my mom thought i was overreacting the ENTIRE time. like my atheist ass was out here mentally reciting the lord’s prayer just to keep my mind on something so i didn’t go into a blind panic and she’s like “meh, weather” - we got back to my brother’s house and parked in front and she was like “eeeehhhhh idw get wet let’s wait it out in the car” & i was like (nicely) “are you fucking kidding me” so we went in but the little groove next to the sidewalk ur supposed to park in was just like FLOODED so when i stepped in it (not being able to see) i dead ass got soaked up to my ankle. i had to drive home in my socks. my shoe is still sodden

we stayed at my brother’s house a good 45 minutes but as it turned out i fucking DROVE through the worst of it lol also i kicked his butt at tetris while i was there he was really nice though like my mom wasn’t taking me seriously and i was trying to impress upon him that he nearly just lost both of his living family members 1996 style & he like turned on the ps4 while i was talking and put a controller in my hand and then before i knew it i was fine

anyway the tornado was supposed to head from greenwood straight over to clinton (where i live) which meant that it was supposed to run along most of the road i would have driven home on so we stayed there until it had passed even clinton, & called my aunt to make sure she was ok (she was fine)

and on the way home we passed like...so many places that were just. dark. like certain intersections (there’s no freeway out to greenwood unfortunately so u pass a few major intersections) they were just...off. the stores, the stoplights, everything. multiple times we saw two cars almost run into each other bc the stoplights werent working and nobody could agree on who had the right of way (if you didnt know, intersections w/ no power are supposed to work like 4-way stop signs). tree limbs & shit on the road, cars in ditches & police & ambulances out w/ flashing lights being the only light you COULD see at all aside from headlights, it was already COUNTRY dark out there so it was so spooky, and even on the way home it was still POURING and the wind fought with the car, we had a little lightning and thunder, it was fucking post-apocalyptic

but the creepiest part is to get home u have to cross a bridge over lake greenwood and its a bigass bridge and on one side of the bridge the power was on but on the other the whole lake (which is normally lit up and pretty) was just totally dark. and i dont mean. hard to see. i mean it was DARK. it was vantablack. u couldnt see the horzion unless lightning flashed. it was like the void

we have power off on the intersection closest to our house too but thankfully it’s on here...but it’s out in places all over town & there are tree limbs EVERYWHERE

we got home safe and sound (i had left my WINDOW open) & all the cats & the dog are OK, altho i know they had to be scared to death bc the dog hates storms and some of the cats do too. i dont normally mind them but that one really got me

and to think we talked all day about how nice it was that the high was 74 even in january. mother earth is trying to KILL us

#personal #i don't believe in reincarnation or anything right #but if i did i would suspect that whoever i was in my last life died in a tornado #im not scared of storms and im not scared of hurricanes and even turbulence on airplanes doesnt bug me #but say word one about a twister & we take it deadly serious in this house #i used to have recurring nightmares about tornadoes as a kid #if reincarnation is real past me DEFINITELY ate it in a twister #any no one has 2 read this it's long but jesus fuck

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