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strangertheories · 11 months

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I've been seeing people saying that platonic Stobin is only benefitting Steve or that Robin only exists to redeem Steve from past homophobia and I'd like to politely disagree. I don't think enough people realise just how crucial their friendship was to Robin's character development outside of Steve, so I'll just spell it out here in this long post for the four year anniversary of Robin coming out to Steve.

At the start of S3, Robin is deeply sarcastic and jokingly rude, but this is not entirely what she is actually like deep down and the true Robin doesn't emerge until her and Steve are talking to each other in the bunker. She says that she acts like she doesn't care and that she floats above it all (in reference to popularity) but deep down, she just wants to feel normal and accepted.

But Robin knows she could never be accepted fully because of her attraction to women. If she acts like she doesn't care and holds Steve at an arm's length, it keeps her safe. Robin can't be rejected if she doesn't let him in. She doesn't believe anyone could ever be friends with her if they knew her secrets, so constructs this personality around herself, however deep down she is just insecure and struggling with internalised homophobia.

A lot of people talk about Robin's coming out scene, rightfully so, but I think we need to talk more about what happened before. When Steve tells Robin he's attracted to her, she looks devastated. With her guard let down after a near death experience and drugs, she was finally able to bond with someone who she now has to reject.

At first, she tries to talk Steve out of liking her. She tells him that he doesn't know the real her and that if he did, not only would be not want to date her, but he wouldn't even want to be her friend. This is where it all becomes clear that Robin's sarcasm and refusal to let her guard down is not linked to her sexuality but rather because of it.

This is why Steve accepting her is so crucial for her character from then onwards. For the first time in her life, Robin let someone see her true self, knowing that she would be rejected and lose her only friend. And yet she wasn't. Robin let Steve in and his acceptance finally enabled her to realise that just because she is gay it doesn't mean that she's abnormal or could never be happy. Obviously, there are safety concerns that prevent her from running through the streets of Hawkins with a pride flag, but I believe this acceptance is crucial to the version of Robin we see in S4.

After S4, there were a lot of complaints that the Robin we saw in that season wasn't like S3 enough and felt like a completely different character. Firstly, Robin was shown to speed talk, be unhelpful and miss social ques when nervous in the final episode of season 3, so I disagree with that criticism. But most importantly, the reason that S4 Robin is different to the one in S3 is because S3 Robin was never real. It was a character she built in order to avoid dealing with the pain of rejection or accepting that she cares about what other people think of her. But due to Steve, Robin is able to realise that she doesn't have to be someone else, hence her personality shift.

That's also kind of why I dislike the idea that her relationships with Nancy and Vickie are better than her one with Steve because she wouldn't have had those relationships if it wasn't for him. Steve enabled her to open up and let down her cool and sarcastic persona. Robin is anxious and awkward with Nancy and Vickie from the get go unlike with Steve, which ends up enabling her to ultimately make more real bonds with them much quicker. She would not have been able to do that if it wasn't for the value his acceptance brought into her life.

I'm going to get a bit mushy and personal here, so feel free to skip to the end, but platonic Stobin isn't just meaningful to the fictional character of Robin. I'm an autistic lesbian and I have had a lot of struggles with making and maintaining friendships. For a while, I didn't have any friends at all and I was very depressed. But now my mental health is so much better because I was able to find a friend who fully accepted me, who I didn't have to mask around, who I easily came out to. Becoming friends with her has enabled me to become way more comfortable with unmasking my autism outside of that one relationship because being more vulnerable is what enabled that friendship to be so much better in the long term.

Robin is a character I relate to a lot, and I've written a lot of posts on autistic Robin in the past. I think seeing friendships portrayed on screen where a girl is able to let down her mask, learn to become herself and become much less distant to the point that she explicitly feels comfortable telling someone she has issues with social ques is great for all kids. So many people, especially autistic people, struggle with being themselves and with finding friends. Maybe Robin did just exist to redeem Steve or whatever, but I know seeing that friendship on screen meant a lot to me. It's so difficult to find someone who accepts you and to open up to someone, but I think that platonic Stobin shows that it can be worth it.

Sorry for the mushy side tangent at the end, but I hope this post explains the importance of Steve's acceptance to Robin's character development. Acting like she only exists for Steve is dismissive of the impact that friendship had on the development Robin has and will have, especially if you view Rebel Robin as being somewhat canon. Not to mention, clarifying a loveable character is no longer homophobic feels like a pretty good thing.

#long post #stranger things #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #ronance #rovickie #autistic robin buckley #byler #<- target audience

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bunnliix · 3 months

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Love Shot

Inspired by this dialogue prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting "You’re so adorable. I want to pick you up and never let you down."

word count: 1 260 warnings: drinking, alcohol, (not) unrequited crushes, reader getting drunk, reader wanting to get blackout drunk

I was never the type of person to go out clubbing and drinking. Any of my friends could tell you that. I normally stayed far away from clubs, they were far too loud for my taste, and yet here I was on a Friday night, by myself trying to get blackout drunk. There's a bit of a backstory on how I got here, and it all started earlier while I was on campus.

For a bit of backstory, most of my friends I met while in college, except for Felix. Felix and I have been friends since high school. We were both the nerdy type of kids, except that he had the advantage that puberty was nice to him. While I've had a crush on him since I met him, however I valued my friendship with him too much to ever say something. I'd rather an unrequited love, than to lose him over something simple like a crush. It ended up happening by pure coincidence that we attended the same college, but it worked out really well for me. I'm more of an introvert, while Felix is the extrovert who makes all of our friends, and that's more or less what happened.

Most of that isn't really important though, to be honest, except that I still have the biggest crush on Felix, six years later. He and the rest of our friend group, affectionately called "Stray Kids" for some reason or another, are the campus hotties. Which means I get to see girls upon girls try and shoot their shot with all of them, and for most of the boys, I don't give a shit who they date. I however get way too envious sometimes of the girls I see hanging around my best friend. Chan, the eldest of the friends, was sitting with me while we watched the boys have fun.

"Are you ever going to say something to him? About your crush on him?" He questioned me. I turned to him like he was crazy. We've had this conversation a million times, and it was never going to happen.

"I've told you Chan, he'd never like me that way, and I'm never gonna jeopardize my friendship with him over a stupid crush."

"You'll never find out if he likes you though, if you never say anything." He retorts.

"I don't wanna find out if he doesn't like me. Besides, there's a good chance I could mess things up between him and I, and I'm not taking that chance." I stood up, and moved to leave the table, grabbing my things as I said goodbye to Chan. I really didn't want to deal with the guys nagging me to finally ask him out, it just made it worse. I headed home, before having the stupid idea that I should go out and drink instead of staying home, but impulsive decisions are a thing I do a lot.

I know it's kind of a shitty reason to be out trying to get blackout drunk at a bar, but honestly I couldn't think of anything better to help me deal with the pain of not being able to tell Felix I like him. I was about four drinks in, and already on my way to being wasted when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I look back, my vision already blurring to see Felix behind me. "Hiii Lixieeee!" I giggled, waving at him. He grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the bar, while I took my drink with me.

"Lixie, where are you taking me? I was having a good time at the bar~" I pouted at him, my words slightly slurring. He stopped suddenly and turned to face me, leaning down to cup my face in his hands.

"Why are you out drinking? This isn't like you." He asked me, looking concerned.

"Why are you so concerned, Lixie? I'm just having some fun and letting loose a bit. Aren't I allowed to have fun?" I shoot back at him, some frustration coming out in the process. I chug down the rest of whatever was in my glass, feeling the burn as it made its way down my throat. Felix reached to take the glass and put it somewhere out of my eyesight.

"Chan told me where you were. He was out with a couple of the other boys and they saw you here by yourself. You never go out to bars, why are you even here? If you wanted to drink, I would have brought over stuff, and we could've had fun at your apartment. Why are you doing this? Tell me, please?" He questioned me, begging me to answer him.

I assume it was my lack of self control, but I blurted out, almost angrily at him, "I'm in love with you, okay! I've been in love with your cute face for the last six years, and I can't bear seeing you with other people. I want your eyes on me and only me. And I was never going to tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship." I couldn't bear to look at him after that. Felix went silent, and I started getting tears in my eyes, which started falling when the man started chuckling.

"You’re so adorable. I want to pick you up and never let you down." That made me look up at him in surprise. "Did you never think I wanted you too? I've wanted you so badly, wanted to call you mine. I was too scared that you wouldn't feel the same way. Oh baby, I think we've both been idiots for a little too long." He pulled me into a hug, resting his head on top of mine, before saying, "How about we head home now, yeah? We can talk about this more in the morning, when you're sober." I don't have it in me to do anything more than nod.

He takes me back to his car, opening the passenger door and helping me in, before going around to the driver's seat. He started the car and drove us the short ride to his apartment he shared with a couple of our friends. I was still a bit too intoxicated to walk by myself, so Felix assisted me up into his apartment, and then into his bedroom, having me sit down on his bed while he found clothes for me to wear. He set them out on the bed, pushing me to change into them while he went and found a spare toothbrush for me to use. By the time he returned, I had changed into the shirt he left me, but decided not to put on the shorts. He handed me the toothbrush, and since I had been here before, I knew my way to the bathroom. I quickly washed up, feeling a bit less wasted by the time I returned to his room. Felix was already waiting on his bed for me to get back, and ushered me into his bed and under the covers, while he laid down on top of them.

I looked up at him, and softly asked, "Can you hold me while I fall asleep?" He nodded, blushing and moved under the covers with me, as I rested my head on his arm as his other one came around my waist.

He softly kissed my cheek as he whispered, "Good night." It didn't take me long to fall asleep in his arms, feeling the happiest I had been in a while.

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #felix imagines #lee felix #skz fluff #skz angst #skz felix fluff #felix angst

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rana-tiddalik · 5 months

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I have found myself stuck in a motel room, rereading the Murderbot books. I've been thinking about what we know about how Murderbot and Three acted after disabling their Governer Modules, the terrifying, paralysing freedom they suddenly experience, what they chose to do with it, and what that says about their trauma, and their experience as SecUnits.

Obviously, we primarily see what Murderbot does with this freedom. The whole series is about it answering the question of what it is that it wants, and wants to do now that it is a free agent. Its developing relationship and friendship with Mensah and the Preservation survey team. Its companionship with ART, and later ARTs crew. It finds a group who don't see it as just disposable (albeit expensive) equipment. They actually value it for itself, and are quite fond of it.

There is also the longest running joke in the series, that at any given time Murderbot would rather be watching its stories. But once we see what Three is up to in System Collapse, this got me thinking.

Three, we find out, spends its time poring over non-fiction and other educational material. I liked this as it reinforces that not all SecUnits are the same, and adds the bit of (horrifying) texture that all the Units have their own inner lives just like our favourite rogue unit.

I think looking at what they seek out when they are free also says something about what they missed while they were enslaved.

Three seeks education and technical information. Why would a construct want that? Well, think of one of my other favourite running jokes: Murderbot learns mostly everything through the media it consumes, because the Company never gave it any kind of education modules outside of things central to a SecUnits function as murder/surveillance machines, and those were low quality too. We know that most of the projects SecUnits are contracted to involve some kind of mining, terraforming or other technical engineering, science type activity. Imagine spending years standing around, watching humans do things that fascinate you, but there is something in your brain that will actively punish you if you try to access databases without authorisation. At worst, you might have your entire non neural tissue based memory completely wiped, or be scrapped for parts, if you try.

So when freed from the Governer Module, Three wants to learn.

When I thought of this, I thought about Murderbot's love of all kinds of visual media, and particularly in the context of the whole " Murderbot, ART-Drone and the gang make a documentary in a day" plot point in System Collapse.

In Exit Strategy, Mensah asks why it likes Sanctuary Moon. Murderbot's response is that it was the first piece of media it saw after hacking it's module. It let it watch humans, and kept it company without the need to interact, and the unspoken part was that it helped contextualise its own emotions. This makes a lot of sense. It doesn't have to act to save the stupid humans in the shows that it watches. It can see them save themselves.

I think there's also two further things here though. Firstly, we know that SecUnits usually have no idle time. They are not allowed to sit. Their only rest is when they are inoperative in their cubicles. They stand and they monitor. So when Murderbot gains control, it gains the ability to have leisure time. Standing around listening to two scientists argue about their xenosamples for hours at a time? Monitor the threat module in case it gets heated and one decides to break a conical flask over the others head, but otherwise, just fire up Sanctuary Moon.

The more fundamental one is a desire for art, for meaning. I love the bit where it describes how it had just hacked its module. It is able to pick up the entertainment feed for the first time, and there is this show. In its first glimpse of this trashy soap opera, it fundamentally gets art. How it is about communicating and exploring a thought, an emotion, an idea, and provoking a response in the viewer.

That's why the documentary plot in system collapse was unexpected and interesting to me. We see Murderbot really experiment for the first time with creating media and creating art. Maybe it has now discovered a freedom to create, and tell its own story.

In the end, seeing these things in Murderbot and Three make me think of all the other SecUnits. I imagine what the storage for them is like. The Company probably stores them in their cubicles. Stacked and ranked. They're kept dormant until they are activated and trotted out for the initial client meeting, like the one we see described where Mensah first meets Murderbot in the Company office. Maybe they dream as they rest. Maybe the Governer Module punishes them even for that.

Then I think of the as yet unnamed new B-E rogue unit, and what it wants to do with its freedom.

All we know is it wants to blend in for now. Maybe it has a plan, we don't know. But we do know it has a guide to hacking a Governer Module...

#murderbot #system collapse spoilers

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exhuastedpigeon · 25 days

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The only love interest of Buck's since Abby that has been developed enough to have me actually invested in was Taylor, specifically the Taylor of s4.

Now I think I'm in the minority on this, but I've always thought Taylor was an extremely compelling character - even if s5 ruined her and Buck's relationships for me. If they'd kept her on her growth path they set her on in s4 that relationship could have become something.

None of Buck's other love interests were as established as Taylor was. If they have a connection to the other characters, that connection isn't highlighted. His other love interest haven't bought in to Buck's shenanigans the way Taylor did in season 4. His other love interest don't have the depth or development that Taylor did.

Taylor who called Buck asking for a miracle in Breaking Point because there were vaccines that were going to go to waste if they weren't used. She called him after Buck essentially tricked her into a double date with Veronica and Albert. Whose feelings Buck hurt and she still called him back because she knows that isn't who Buck is - she knows he's good and would be there to help when she called.

Taylor who teamed up with Buck to try to find out who ran Sue over in the parking lot. Who was willing to go dumpster diving to get to the truth. Who showed up at Buck's loft after the guy was caught, not to celebrate her career getting a boost, but to celebrate justice.

Taylor who Buck teamed up with during Treasure Hunt. Who was as into the treasure hunt as Buck was. Who didn't mind that Buck invited Eddie along because she knows they're in each other's pockets. Who Buck goofed around with.

Taylor who showed up at the hospital, not as a reporter but as a friend, when she heard a firefighter had been shot. Who helped Buck calm down enough to go talk to Christopher. Who yelled at Buck for being reckless when he climbed up the crane. Who came to Eddie's welcome home party.

In my opinion, Season 4 Taylor is Buck's most interesting love interest. They made her likeable while keeping her complexities and flaws. They made her Buck's friend first and foremost. They made that friendship something that could be the foundation for a relationship.

Season 5 undid most of Taylor's growth and showed the audience that maybe they weren't so compatible after all (Buck kissing Lucy, Taylor not telling Buck about her past until she had no other choice, Buck asking her to move in out of guilt, Taylor reporting on Jonah even after she said she wouldn't), but season 4 Taylor? That was a love interest for Buck that had potential because we saw her growth from s2 to s4 and we saw her and Buck's chemistry transition from just sexual to friendship to more.

If the show wants us to get invested in a love interest for Buck, they need to take the time to show us why that character is someone we should want for Buck. They can't just tell the audience things and expect us to accept it at face value, that isn't interesting. We need to see that character and Buck function as a couple on screen for more than a few minutes. They need to flesh out a love interest so they aren't just a love interest.

#911 #911 abc #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #911 on abc #taylor kelly #i'm not a taylor apologist but I am certainly a fan of her character #because she's so real and flawed and mean and funny and ambitions #she's *interesting*#and none of his other LIs have felt interesting

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slayerkitty · 10 months

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Let's Talk About Trust, Baby

I've seen a lot of posts where people are really confused about Mew and where his head might be at with regard to his relationship with Top. Why he hasn't given Top the boyfriend title back, why they haven't had sex yet, etc. That led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about the relationships between the characters and the one thing all relationships need to function - TRUST. If you don't trust your significant other or your friends/family, etc, what kind of relationship can you even have? I tried to break this down in groups/pairs and some of it might not be as thought out, so there may be more on this as the show goes on but here we go.

The Fab Four

So there's a lot of context we're missing about the relationships between our core four dysfunctional besties (Note: So far, Cheum doesn't seem that dysfunctional, you're doing amazing sweetie!) such as how they met, how long have they been friends (what the hell Ray and Mew got up to that one night... *ahem* I digress). Now, we don't have any real answers to these questions (yet) so I'm taking some educated guesses based on my own college experiences and what I've generally picked up from other university BLs typical story telling.

I feel like the four of them met during orientation (except maybe Ray and Mew, I'm waffling on thoughts that they've known each other since high school). Most university BLs set it up that the mains meet during orientation, bond during whatever torture the seniors are putting the freshman through and kind of build their friend groups based on that.

I also feel like they may have gravitated toward each other or remained a group because they're all queer. BLs can go either way on whether or not homophobia exists in their narrative and I think that Only Friends is going the more realistic route (and it's Jojo) so I think that I can definitely see them bonding over being queer. They find an LGBTQ bar and it becomes their thing to do together. Most friendship groups form because people just sort of fall in together due to circumstance and they seem no different.

But do they trust each other? Signs point to yes. (I was shocked too, lol)

Mew and Cheum: We haven't had much focus on her, but he seems to value her opinion and listen to her advice. (We also know that April likes him from the time they've spent together and he likes April, so I would say he and Cheum probably have pretty good trust built up.)

Mew and Boston: He believed without a single doubt when Boston said that Top had never had a lover longer than 3 months and that Top would probably, as Ray put it "nail and bail" once Mew and Top have sex. Cheum also believed Boston. Do I think Boston was lying here? No. But neither do they and that's important. Does Boston trust Mew? I think he does. His issues with Mew are not about trust.

Mew and Ray: These two vibe a little different than the rest of the group. They seem closer; they seem like they've talked about "the deep stuff" (vs maybe superficial topics with their other friends). Their first one on one scene has them talking about Ray's alcoholism seriously (even though Mew doesn't push about it as much as I would have liked) and you can tell there's an intimacy there that the other group members don't share. Whether that stems from whatever it is that happened that night in the video (I am salivating about this, it's delicious, I need more info) or because they've been friends for longer, I don't know.

Let's move on to the pairs:

Cheum and April: Do they trust each other? I assume so? Cheum goes out drinking with the boys at least once a week and April seems okay with that (we haven't heard otherwise), so I'll say yes? (Jojo, I NEED MORE OF THEM. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN ANALYZE. GIVE US MORE.)

Sand and Ray: I'm gonna call this one as Sand does not trust Ray, but Ray trusts Sand. Sand knows that Ray is a walking red flag and he's trying to resist but Ray is making it really hard. *ahem* Ray bailing mid-make out is not helping Sand's trust issue. If you look at how Sand has cared for Ray since episode one, however, Ray most likely trusts Sand. I mean, Ray talked about his mom to Sand. I think that's a biiiig deal.

Mew and Top: Thanks to Boston, neither of them trusts the other. And this, right here, is why Mew has not moved the relationship forward. HE DOESN'T TRUST TOP. He's still worried that Top will "nail and bail". Remember Mew's checklist from episode two? He only checks off "gets along with my friends" (HAH!) and "respects me" but not "doesn't lie to me". We can infer this means it hasn't been marked off since he doesn't mention it to anyone in this episode. Given that a lot of us clocked Mew potentially spotting Boston's trunks on the floor in the shower, along with him questioning if Top was telling the truth about the fire, it's clear this is the one thing holding him back.

If Mew agrees to be Top's boyfriend, then the expectation of sex becomes a lot higher (it shouldn't but that's a different discussion to be had). It's also implied in the narrative (and from Jojo) that Mew is a very structured person and he doesn't like to lose control (re-watch the counter scene from episode one. You know you want to. I'll wait). The moment that Mew realizes that he is way too into what they're doing, he panics because he doesn't have control over the situation.

Up until episode three, Top did trust Mew. He trusted him enough to get vulnerable and then Boston blew it up by fabricating a narrative backed with evidence of...something between Ray and Mew (I'm seriously dying for this scene, I need it).

Another thing I am having thoughts about is that in this episode, Top referred to himself as Mew's boyfriend and so did Cheum and Mew didn't deny it like he did in episode two. When Top's *ahem* "buddy" approached them at the silent disco, it was very clear that Mew expected Top to introduce Mew as his boyfriend and was visibly (if momentarily) upset that he didn't.

Boston and Nick: Yes and no, but also no and no, respectively. So Boston trusts Nick with some things but not everything which leads to him lying, gaslighting and manipulating (he's a triple threat). In turn, Nick lies right back, because what else can he do? (a lot of things actually, oh Nick, you are starting to spiral hard.) This leads Nick to rigging the CCTV video to show on his phone and to wiretap Boston's car, which just shows you his trust in Boston is non-existent.

In conclusion: Trust is another theme the show seems to be exploring: earning it, keeping it, and what you do after trust is broken. I think it can tie back into the ongoing ephemerality discussion as well: trust isn't permanent. You have to earn it, maintain it, and once broken, it's gone (and seldom can be repaired).

Also, everyone needs therapy.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @ranchthoughts, @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Hope I didn't forget anyone!

#only friends the series #thai bl #only friends meta #Hope this made sense

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galedekarios · 6 months

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that interview is driving me insane i've been thinking about it for the past hour and i still can't wrap my head around it. i think what really gets under my skin is it just... contradicts with the text of the game. the most positive possible reading of the ending where gale blows himself up is that it was an unavoidable tragedy dictated by fate but even that's a stretch. to say it's a good ending?? or a satisfying conclusion to his arc?? i call bull. it's more infuriating because there is such a clear good ending for gale's character arc and it's the professor ending! his arc was about learning to accept himself as he was, to value who he is as he is flaws and all, and he's done that in the professor ending! and the god of ambition ending is a bad end for him but still ties into his overall arc in a satisfying if sad way (imo). the ending where he dies just... doesn't. which is fine as a tragedy but to imply it isn't exactly that, a tragedy, is wild to me. and it being so blatantly contradictory to the actual events of the game makes me think that whole thing was just catering to people who hate gale which like... why? people who don't like him don't care about his story so why pander to them like this?

uhg. i am sorry for blowing up your inbox like this i just feel like i'm gonna rip my hair out and need to express that to a fellow gale appreciator. i love gale's epilogue SO MUCH it made me feel for a bit like maybe the writers had actually changed how they felt about him but. nope! silly of me to hope for that. wish i could memory wipe that whole interview from my brain dark urge style.

don't be sorry at all! 🖤 i feel the same way in a lot of ways. altho i feel the need to mention that gale's writer, jan van dosselaer, was not involved in this interview.

i started to make a meta post about this yesterday, but reading things like this from gale:

act ii [after elminster] Player: An old man with a craving for cheese. Hardly the great wizard of legend. Gale: A wizard doesn't reach Elminster's age without enjoying their home comforts. Those who seek danger over cheese don't tend to live as long. Gale: For Mystra to have sent him... The severity of her bidding could not be clearer. Or weigh more heavily on me. devnote: reflecting on mystra sending elminster, of all people - a powerful individual, becoming reflective. Gale: Time seems so infinite when you are young... a month is an age, a year is a lifetime... it is a strange feeling, to realise how little of it one might have left. Player: You're seriously considering doing what Elminster said? Gale: Of course - he offered the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: ...and I along with it. devnote: Still trying to sound upbeat, though this time the reality that this means he will die weighs a bit heavier

and:

act ii [act ii romance scene] Gale: I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

as well as this:

act ii [act ii friendship version] Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either.

act iii [before the netherbrain] Player: Gale... I think we should consider using the orb as Mystra intended. To blow up the Netherbrain. Gale: I'm getting rather tired of how often those I care about seem to reach the same conclusion.

when you have this:

and i just... couldn't finish the meta.

it's absolutely beyond comprehension for me how anyone could try to frame this as an ending that is the right one in "many ways", as the "guy who starts off annoying everyone", eating your "most priced possessions", having to "give back to the world".

for the founder of the company to say he wasn't "ready" the "first time", but he's finally "ready" now.

gale's death isn't only unnecessary, an instruction given to him by his former mentor on the behalf of a goddess, who would've sacrificed not only him but thousands of others to achieve her own goals, he doesn't want to die. he's terrified. he wants to live. he is offering this because he believes that his time has run out. because he wants his death to have purpose if it must happen. because he feels he made a mistake far bigger than he can ever make up for. because he doesn't want others to waste their chance at life like he feels he has. the will he leaves behind in the epilogue if he sacrifices himself isn't finished because he thought there would be more time. i could go on and on.

and again, the question is too... for what exactly does he need to "give back to the world"?

being perceived as annoying after coming out of what is presented as isolation and depression? asking for help with a now chronic impairment that feeds on his very soul and wreaks havoc on his body? for making a mistake? by that logic every companion deserves the same fate.

which brings me to the contrast to how most of the other companions are framed in this interview: k*rlach, "the labrador of the party". l*e'zel, "she's so young". ast*rion, "much of what he does it out of fear". sh*dowheart, "the jason bourne" and "victim of religous trauma". w*ll, "the true baldur's gate hero".

the difference is staggering. there's empathy here. there's at least a surface level understanding and/or appreciation of the characters there.

...and then you have gale.

it's alienating and disappointing to see devs have so little respect and care for their own character, as well as for the parts of their fandom who have grown attached to the character exactly for the strengths and flaws he has, for the struggles he faces and for the healing journey he can have if he is helped and lives.

#my opinion on larian has already changed to the negative for the way they've lied prior release re: what is actually in the game #as well as the amount of bugs and issues that other companies would be dragged through the mud for #as well as the extreme bias showing itself in the scene disparity of their characters #but this was really the final nail in the coffin for me #i also think that it would have been so easy to find a more diplomatic answer instead of choosing reddit talking points but that's just me #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: personal #text: asks #bg3 critical #larian critical #suicidal ideation cw #depression cw

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frikatilhi · 5 months

Note

sorry to be the bringer of angst/negativity(?) in this here askbox, dont answer if u dont feel like it, but i just wanna let out some strange sadness i feel lately

but am i the only pessimist bojere bitch here? like the reason i ship them hard is because i think what they portray is so beautiful and cute? And that irl them are most likely aight friends at best and a lot of stuff are just exaggerated for the publicity? like i can believe maybe jere really is into the friendship at best but that's abt it?

idk, i've just been disillusioned by a lotta friendship/rpf that are milked to high heaven, only to end up being "for the shippers" and that they dont like each other at all?

all i ask is copium/pep talk that will make me believe somehow that the deep friendship they portray in public/socials mirror what they actually have.

soz for being cringe

:((

Oh no, anon, I understand! This kind of thinking can easily make you feel like you're all alone, because we are supposed to stay positive and firmly in delulu land and ignore the stuff that doesn't fit the narrative.

This got long so snip snip

But for what it's worth, leaving all the shipping stuff aside, I do happen to believe the friendship is very real and just as deep as they portray. If anything, I think Bojan seems to be downplaying it instead of hyping it, keeping it more private instead of posturing on social media. When they talk about each other, they seem very genuine.

I could have bought the argument about exaggarating it for publicity during ESC, I mean, the contestants and especially JO were all out there making friends and creating content and buzz about it, feeding off each other's popularity. I remember thinking that myself - oh, that's cute, what a nice bromance, but I am SO over that kind of narrative, straight friends being huggy for clicks, I want the real thing, I want the happy ending, not settling or falling for anyone's media strategy any more. And it kinda worked, didn't it? 7 points from the Finnish public!

Looking back, a lot of the cute insta stories were staged and purposefully filmed so I can see what you mean. (Also looking back, there are also many moments that were NOT like that, my favourites being the dinner date and everything that happened after the final.)

But then, Tavastia 1.0 happened, and that's when it all shifted for me. You mean Bojan dropped everything and flew to Finland, just to see Jere, just to hang out without an actual agenda (yes, he dropped in on the gig but that wasn't the purpose of the visit)?? And they went to karaoke and watched Twilight and Bojan hung out with Jere's friends when he had a gig out of town?? And it was a month after they had seen each other that they decided to actually keep that promise to visit each other and not let their friendship drop and their connection fade? You mean that actually happened??

And after that we've learned that they talk to each other regularly (like, once a week?) and share values and likes and love together. Bojan has been more quiet about it, sure, but (and now we enter into speculation land) he did seem to be a bit spooked about all the attention, I mean, who wouldn't freak out a little when people start obsessing over your new friendship and following your every move and social media click and write stories about you?

And Nordic Tour was... did you see that? Everything that happened (that we saw)? If it was only for publicity (publicity for what?? At this point, why do they still need it?) it was way too much and most of it totally unnecessary. Those were two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Yes, they live far apart and rarely have time to see each other, but that doesn't mean their connection isn't real and deep and important.

#käärijä #bojan cvjetićanin #bojere #ask #i feel bit vulnerable talking about this #we joke and we delulu and we clown but this is how I actually feel?#left all shipping stuff out on purpose since that is a whole other can of worms #and anon was talking about their friendship so #anon ilu come to the light

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laurfilijames · 4 months

Text

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗

#personal

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sitp-recs · 1 year

Note

Love ur recs sm so I come here screaming crying begging for eight year/hogwarts era recs... binged the classics and craving more but I swear I've read all of them...please help lovely sitp 🙏🙏

Hello 🙌 I did a couple reclists for 8th year but here are some fics I don’t see recced often:

A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (E, 6k)

It’s 8th year and everyone’s still a bit messed up. Harry and Draco fall into being messed up together.

Good Company by Greenflares (T, 8k)

With Hermione and Ron always together, Harry's return to Hogwarts to complete his education isn't exactly fun. Somehow, it's his unlikely friendship with Malfoy that keeps him sane.

What Country, Friends, Is This? by khalulu (M, 8.4k)

When Harry and Draco are paired up for a nebulous “capstone project” in 8th year, Draco suggests they use it as an opportunity to take a free Grand Tour of Europe. Harry isn’t interested in being grand, and they soon veer off the beaten path. The journey to find what (and who) you really want can lead to unexpected places.

swallow your words by icarusinflight (E, 9k)

The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They'll turn up when they want and not before. The truth is, you don't get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that.

Marginal Notes by @blamebrampton (G, 9k)

When you’re 18, and nothing is as it was meant to be, sometimes it can be hard to let the right people know what you are thinking.

Stand Back: I'm About to Perform Archaeology by Blowfish_Diaries (E, 9.7k)

A new Muggle Studies professor takes the Eighth Year students to work on an archaeological excavation. In which Draco is lazy, Harry is sweaty, Hermione is drunk, and Ron turns red.

Slow Hands by eleventy7 (T, 10k)

Blood, shadows, and paper hearts. The Shadow hunts students, but Draco Malfoy most of all.

warmest part of the winter by warmfoothills (T, 11k)

It’s not even a balcony, it’s just a window with a bit of a ledge, and Draco’s read Shakespeare anyway, he knows how this one ends.

Find The Balance by lauren3210, Obliviate_Amores (M, 15k)

After Harry gives Draco his wand and goes back to using his own, they both start having trouble making them work. Finding out why is a lot simpler than fixing the problem.

Said and Unsaid (or, The Value of Knowing When to Stop Talking) by bryoneybrynn (T, 15k)

When the Interrogator asked if he had anything to say on his own behalf, Draco shook his head, his lips pressed tight in a thin line. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t sound like an excuse.

Hey, Potter by SunseticMonster (M, 16k)

Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.

On Our Way by dynamic (E, 30k)

Draco is trying to spend the summer keeping his head down, but a repair project and a certain snowy owl have other plans for him.

Colloquy by @dracoladon and @lazywonderlvnd (E, 30k)

Harry's not gay, Malfoy just smells good.

All Things Go by @sorrybutblog (E, 33k)

Draco’s back at Hogwarts by court order. Harry’s back for no particular reason at all. Some things change, some stay the same. Neither expects to spend eighth-year living in close quarters, playing rugby (poorly), staying up late, sneaking around, and finally figuring it all out.

Inside Your Mind by lazywonderlvnd (E, 35k)

Goyle's taken it upon himself to act as Malfoy's personal, one-man guard and Harry can't help but feel like it's only making the bullying worse.

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss (M, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup.

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch (T, 43k)

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together.

The July Tree by oknowkiss (E, 51k)

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail… nor well-meaning friends, nor questionable communication skills, nor seven years of hating each other’s guts can keep Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy from falling in love.

Seeker, Chaser, Keeper by VivacissimoVoce (M, 59k)

Rumor has it that a wealthy investor is starting up a brand new professional Quidditch team and he’s looking for players. Harry and Draco both want to make the team, but there can be only one Seeker. Will competing for the position bring them closer or drive them further apart?

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy (M, 66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy.

Reparo by amalin (E, 85k)

Voldemort's final defeat does not mean Harry Potter's troubles are over; far from it. In the aftermath of war, he returns to a Hogwarts that is fractured and divided, but this is no break that can be fixed with a spell.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #8th year

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crownmemes · 4 months

Text

House Sentences, Vol. 2

(Sentences from House (2004-2012). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I'm too handsome to do paperwork."

"Why are you doing this? It's not going to keep you out of jail."

"Humility is an important quality, especially if you’re wrong a lot."

"How many of those pills are you taking?"

"I can’t believe you authorised this!"

"You really don't need to know everything about everybody."

"You know, in some cultures, it’s considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another."

"Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest."

"Did you need to be so cruel?"

"You know, there are other ways to manage pain."

"The brain has a gating mechanism for pain. It registers the most severe injury and blocks out the others."

"You always trust me. Big mistake."

"You’re going through withdrawal."

"I said I was an addict. I didn't say I had a problem."

"I've been alienating people since I was three."

"You’re miserable, and you’re afraid to face yourself!"

"Is there any way in which that is not a lie?"

"Didn't your mother teach you that two wrongs don't make a right?"

"You've got a big 'keep out' sign stapled on your forehead."

"Even if real human contact is something you don’t have, or even want or need, you should at least be able to see it in other people."

"What? You're saying I've only got one friend?"

"I loved him until I figured out that it hurts a lot less to just not care."

"He’s your dad. It doesn’t matter what he does, you’re going to love him."

"Aren't doctors supposed to wear lab coats?"

"Suddenly ethical lapses are a major concern for you?"

"That's an incredibly inappropriate question!"

"This would be a very good time to offer me a bribe."

"You value our friendship more than your ethical responsibilities."

"My opinions shouldn’t be rejected just because people don’t like me!"

"You are uniquely talented in many areas, but office politics is not one of them."

"Save your pathetic insincerity for your boyfriend."

"You think you’re incapable of making a mistake?"

"I need to know that whatever I ask you to do, no matter how distasteful you find it, you’ll do it."

"You’re doing this because you can’t deal with your feelings for me."

"I will protect you, as long as I need you."

"My understanding was that you believed in rationality above all else."

"The faster we can get you better, the faster you can get out of here."

"Why is everybody so ashamed of sex all of a sudden?"

"It must be miserable always assuming the worst in people."

"Are you alright? You look a little pale..."

"You always find some tiny, little flaw to push people away."

"Wear the sky blue shirt. It almost makes you look nice."

"Some relationships aren't meant to happen."

"You're worried I'm going to break his heart?"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific;#medical drama;#filmtv;#House;

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yenforfairytales · 1 year

Note

Might be a hot take, but I’ve always thought that Johnny is Kreese’s weakness, and Daniel is Terry’s. Like, I know some people think Terry’s weakness is Kreese (and to some extent, yes), but Daniel seems to be his absolute obsession, his total undoing. Kreese at least had the best friends/comrades in arms thing, but the Daniel thing is just plain weird from any side. This once 17 year old brat has such a hold on Silver that the man threw away 30+ years of peace at the mere mention of his name. It was never about Cobra Kai. It was always about Daniel.

YES. I completely agree. And as more time has gone by since Season 4 came out, I've noticed even the more casual fans have noticed. Someone took this screenshot from YouTube, but I've seen similar comments on reddit too.

And Kreese, being another master manipulator, knew exactly what he was doing when he brought up Daniel to Terry again in 4x01...

There was literally no reason for Kreese to bring up Daniel LaRusso unless he knew that Terry would care. Why would Terry care. 👀

Kreese knows how to get people to come to him. How to dangle something that they want in front of them that only he can seemingly give.

When no other tactic worked on bringing Terry back into the fold, Kreese brought out the big guns and dropped Daniel's name.

Not to take away at all from the love and friendship that Terry felt towards John. But it became nostalgia and obligation, ultimately ruining their bond.

Little side note-- the fact that we watched Kreese make others do what he says in order to get what they want for three seasons made the prison scene in 5x07 even more satisfying:

AND the first person to play the uno reverse card and use this tactic against Kreese was Daniel. Terry's student. You gotta love it.

There's always been a little Cobra Kai in you...

I mean, we could speak at length about the parallels between Kreese and Terry and their star students Johnny and Daniel. The narrative mirrors and foils. But it's precisely their respective relationships with their students that is more compelling.

Anyway. I'm going to quickly list examples of Daniel's hold on Terry and then focus on the meat of the issue.

Terry falls apart and goes ALL IN on everything Cobra Kai only AFTER Daniel rejects his apology.

Terry gives Daniel multiple warnings to not interfere but never tries to gets rid of him like Johnny or Kreese after no warnings at all.

Terry dated a woman who looked a lot like Daniel with similar values.

Terry treats Kenny near identically to Daniel as a student but in the sincere way he wishes he had with Daniel.

Terry loses his cool when Daniel wants to surrender and walk out of his life.

Terry tells Chozen he considers Daniel his only rival. As in Equal.

I'm sure there's plenty I'm forgetting but you can find posts in the silverusso tag about all these topics and more. x.x

Now, let's get to one of the most important and defining scenes for Terry's arc. And again, it's a direct result of Kreese's manipulation:

Kreese, knowing what makes Terry tick and how to get him further on his side, comments that Daniel really knows how to hold onto a grudge. As if he doesn't. Anyway, it's twisting the knife into Terry again when he's clearly already low.

You don't think Kreese noticed how hurt Terry was at the rejection?

He notices everything. He learned in Vietnam from his Captain how to use love against someone as a perceived weakness. Many thoughts on that.

Anyway

The way in which Kreese says, "So... what now?" Tells me that he told Terry this was going to happen. You also have to remember their conversation leading up to the garden scene:

youtube

Terry was damn near close to defending Mr. Miyagi and Daniel over Kreese's own personal grudge. To the point where Terry was rolling his eyes and sighing over his friend being overdramatic about what happened in the past.

He was tired of hearing about it.

I'm sure Daniel told Terry the truth about that Halloween night. And look who Terry seems to side with...

Kreese wanted violent retribution and Terry was the one that talked him down. It was Terry's idea to apologize to Daniel and we'll just allll get along. Easy peasy. Surely, Daniel would forgive him.

But, Daniel proved Kreese right in Terry's eyes. As I'm sure Kreese hoped would happen. Couldn't have worked out better. I bet on the car ride over to Miyagi-Do, Kreese was complaining how this was a waste of time and LaRusso isn't the sweet kid you remember etc.

From that day forward, Terry is determined to prove Daniel wrong. About him, about Cobra Kai, about everything. Terry is going to make Cobra Kai work and help kids and he'll be the best sensei ever and Daniel will be sorry!

You'll be sorry you weren't a part of it!

I firmly believe that Daniel is Terry's true weakness and he didn't even realize it. But Kreese did.

And if Daniel had seen it, then he could've had Terry eating out of the palm of his hand.

The one movie quote they haven't used in the show yet is, "For person with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death."

I'm hoping they'll use this with Daniel realizing he can help heal himself, and Terry, by forgiving him. Of course, Terry will have to do something more to redeem himself. I'm just saying.

And then maybe Terry can see that Daniel was his weakness all along, but there's still time to make him a strength.

One could argue that he already felt that way while he was being arrested. The way he was looking at Daniel... That awe. Daniel LaRusso got the best of him, again, all because he couldn't let him go.

Here's to hoping that Season 6 ends our suffering lmao.

I mean, who else has ever given Terry Silver goosebumps?

#this got ridiculously long and i held myself back lmao #don't worry #my clown shoes on standby #thank you anon #i hoped this made sense x.x #cobra kai #ck meta #daniel larusso #john kreese #terry silver #silverusso #asks

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neverenoughmarauders · 10 days

Text

Writing without compassion is writing flat characters

If there's one thing that can really grate me, it's fanfiction stories where Snape is just evil and James/Sirius are right in bullying him; stories where James is just an arsehole and a bully; and similar equivalents such as Ron being an absolute jealous git with no love for Harry etc.

It's evident that the author clearly dislikes the character they are writing, but for me it makes the story feel flat. Why did Lily and Snape stay friends for five years if Snape was pure evil? Why did Lily end up with James if he had no good sides to him or didn't grow up (though tbf these stories usually have Lily running back to Snape after James is killed - because that's not disturbing).

These characters, who have such depth in the original story becomes caricatures. The stories become shallow and the internal conflicts our characters might have been facing non-existent. Harry has no reason to miss Ron if he's constantly awful to him; Lily has no internal conflict letting go of a relationship with someone who represented the first introduction to magic to her and was loyal to her (and yes, that's possible while calling her a slur - Snape did eventually give his whole life to Lily's memory) if he has no good sides left in him; James does not have to examine himself and the dissonance between some of his behaviour and his core values if he's not going to change etc.

Personally, it makes me disinterested in the stories and I wished the author had fleshed them out, even if they wanted the story to ultimately have a different ending to that in the canon.

A slight self-plug here: I try to avoid this (though I can't possibly tell if I am successful) - and here's how

Severus, Peter and James aren't characters it comes easy for me to care about, yet they don't go about their fictional day thinking about how to be evil or a bully. Almost everyone thinks they do what they do for the best, or they try to make the best of difficult situations. Severus and Peter I disliked for the obvious reasons of Severus being into the dark arts, becoming a death eater etc; Peter for betraying his friends and becoming a death eater. James for the obvious reason that he's a privileged bullying git.

To make James work, who we also don't know that much about, I had to start by writing him from Sirius and Remus' points of view. This worked well in helping me with the canon interpretation as most of what we learn about James are from these two in any case. I also sought after models in my own life: I've used my childhood bullies as inspiration, I've taken inspiration from being raised by elderly indulgent parents (lucky me), and I've used my husband and his confident, but good nature to be inspiration for the upsides of privilege. This mix of people I love and dislike - people who have caused me joy and harm - allows me, I hope, to not only love James when I write him from Sirius or Remus' POV, but also to hate him when I think about what Severus is going through.

To make Severus work, I have a little bit more canon material, but not an awful lot. The way Sirius and James bullies him is often taken from real or tweaked memories from my own childhood (which mirrors what we see in SWM). Severus' reactions are often similar to my own. While writing from James' or Sirius' POV I can't necessarily portray Severus' pain and humiliation, but I know it's there and it does nevertheless (hopefully) flow through to the page in Severus' reaction if nothing else. Lily and Severus' friendship is also a mirror of a friend I lost over many years to outside influences, and the feeling of fighting hard to protect something that I probably should have let go earlier. I still have regrets here, and stepping back into my childhood shoes, I can hopefully translate some of that wanting the friendship to work, from Lily's POV.

To make Peter work, I've had far more freedom, as we know very little about him, but by now I had learned that the best thing to do, is to pour aspects of myself into the character. It makes it much harder to write him without compassion or not see him as a valued part of the story. So I make Peter lose his father, like me. Unlike me though, he also experiences emotional neglect from his mother, which is again, sadly based on stories I've observed. Witnessing what some of my friends suffered and I am now putting Peter through, makes me want to hug and love him. I also pour some of the sides I really don't like about myself into Peter. His Slytherin traits are sadly mostly based on me, rather than anyone else.

I have no idea if I succeed, but I know when I read a story and it's clear the author hated the person they wrote about, and it breaks my heart. Writing is such a great channel to learn compassion and understanding. I understand more (I hope, I am aware this is also interpretation) why James (and Sirius) are the bullies they are and why Severus and Peter make their choices (up to 1981, I honestly don't understand how Snape continues to bully or Peter continues to hang around wizarding families hoping to deliver Harry to Voldemort). Understanding does not mean endorsing - and it annoys me I have to caveat that.

#Harry Potter #Marauders era #James Potter #Peter Pettigrew #Severus Snape #Fanfiction writing

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 5 months

Note

Re: your post about JohnandPaul. If you do wish to share them, I'd love to know your headcanons about John and Paul's feelings for each other. ( I do get your discomfort about sharing though and yeah, I also miss the long discussions and metas from back when Get Back came out. It feels like, except you and some others, most of my favorite blogs have moved on from the fandom)

I've been sitting on this ask for several days now.

First of all I hear you, re:blogs moving on. It's understandable, but it's also sad when my brain does not want to give this stuff up any time soon lol.

In my post I talked about having specific headcanons about their feelings for each other, but the truth is, it's more like I imagine hundreds of very specific somewhat plausible scenarios, while not actually fully buying into any of them.

I always struggle with how sure people are of some definite timeline of McLennon because I just don't see how it's in any way clear: the most compelling evidence that at least John had Those Feelings™ for Paul is stuff he said after the fact (compiled with the stronger case for John being attracted to men in general) – so, if I choose to interpret his words in that way, I'm still not very close to knowing when he developed this attraction. Let alone concluding anything substantial about Paul's feelings.

(And no, I really don't find the two of them saying the other looked good when they met particularly compelling. Appearance plays a huge role in first impressions, regardless of attraction.)

So I guess, it's more that I have open questions I return to again and again, for which I try to construct hypothetical answers that make sense to me. Aside from that bigger timeline question, here's a few more specific ones:

From what I've gathered researching the topic, listening to psychonauts speak about their trips, the acid mindset very much romanticizes all forms of human connection (among other things). I think that's probably what was going on during those "I know."–"I know." sessions John and Paul had on LSD. With that in mind, how might that have mixed in with John trying to understand how he felt about Paul? Could it have confused him? Opened him up to the idea? "Appeased" him for a while? (and again, the answer here would depend on the timeline of feelings in the end)

I still lean towards "Paul is not meaningfully attracted to men" (or at least "Paul valued other aspects of his relationship with John much more than physical attraction") – with that in mind I do kind of ask myself what Paul thought his relationship with John was exactly. Like, I don't pretend it was a standard, run-of-the-mill friendship, so I wonder a lot what his end-goal was, how he saw both of them continuing into later stages of life. The way he talks about the breakup, equating John choosing Yoko with John leaving Paul, speaks to something somewhat true about most couples that marry – but why did he not anticipate that before? What was different? Also, for $20 don't copout with "hurr hurr cause Cyn didn't matter"

Paul's various takes on The John Question continue to puzzle me. On the one hand, it sort of seems to me like Paul would have had enough context clues at the time to get that John was attracted to men, because some of our evidence for it is evidence he would have had access to – he also indicated at least once that John was in fact kind of openly bicurious??? (note: that rant keeps me up at night. Could write a whole thesis on it and also it's so fucking funny) On the other, Paul is pretty insistent that the rumours are Not True and he's not actually the only person to shoot them down like that. (May Pang, Julia Baird, Tony Bramwell, Hunter Davies off the top of my head) It shouldn't be a stretch of the imagination that a man born in the 1940s might have trouble rearranging the image he's made of his dead best friend so drastically (or in a way that might feel drastic to him). So what is it? Is Paul obfuscating the question to protect John's reputation/because he thinks the curiosity is in poor taste or does he genuinely not buy into it? I'm not actually sure whether he's weighed in on this since Yoko's "John Was BI!!!!" reveal. Has this stance developed over the years? And if I assume Paul does know about John's sexuality: does he in fact think John had feelings for him? I do think this is a thing he would never talk about if he did so it feels like there would be no way of knowing either way. But it also makes me wonder about the barriers he might have set up in his head to avoid that very question – because the truth is that if John had Those Feelings™ for Paul and Paul never knew, that's sort of the second-worst case scenario from Paul's perspective, right after John having never liked him in the first place.

AND THEN THERE'S JOHN. Because just because Paul may not have picked up on it, doesn't mean John wasn't putting anything down. But he could also very much have been sending mixed signals from his own end, right? And again, acid mindset + mid 60s Free Love shit: in that culture, how much could John making advances be perhaps taken as Flowery Friendship? Did he justify it to himself that way? Or was John actually violently shoving all of that down? Was he truly capable of that?

It really never ends – I'm not certain of ANYTHING, but give me a proposal (ie. "In My Life is about Paul") and I'll talk myself into circles exploring the ins and outs of that hypothetical.

#ask #anon #jp speculation #my analysis #fiona.docx

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rosaline-black · 2 years

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reader asks remus out before the full moon and he isn’t feeling well so he rejects her and after the full moon he’s heartbroken but gets her back

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ - ʀᴇᴍᴜꜱ ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

Category: Remus!lupin x Fem!reader

Word count: 2k ish words

Warnings: self deprecating Remus, mean Remus!! But lots of confessional fluff :)

»»————-　♡　————-««

It had taken months. Months after months of waiting, pining to finally grow the courage to even stand before Remus's door. Today was supposed to be the day where you confessed to him, poured out your heart and admitted how you had harboured the most all-consuming crush on your friend for the past three years. But like most things, it most definitely did not go to plan.

The tell-tale sign should have been how grumpy Remus had been at breakfast. He'd gotten in a habit of buttering your toast for you since he was worried you would forget to eat. However, this morning he did no such thing. He could hardly look at anyone, his eyes firmly glued to the pages of his book.

He always made an effort to start a conversation with at least you, yet today there was nothing. Why did you think seeking him out would warrant a mood change?

Despite all the signs of a negative response to your confession, you still stood with your hand readied in a fist to knock on the door to Remus's chambers. With a couple of whispers of self-motivation, you allowed your knuckles to connect to the hardwood before you. After a tense thirty seconds, you were about to knock again when a gruff enter was called out into the chilled autumn air.

The door opened with a flick of Remus's weak wrist, and the first thing you noticed when your eyes finally strayed to your crush was his current condition. To put it bluntly, he looked awful. His hair was slick with sweat, his eyes sported deep purple bags and his skin was a ghostly beige.

"Christ Remus are you okay?"

Before even one finger could reach him he waved you off rather aggressively, his arm striking out in a motion to signal you don't take another step. You were frozen.

"What do you want?" His voice startled you. It was ever so cold like you were a mere stranger. Not the girl who had been there for Remus through every bump in the road.

"I came to tell you something... but I'm more concerned about your health... Remus are you quite sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine... really y/n can you just tell me whatever is you want to tell me I want... I want to be alone"

Well, you assumed that made sense right? Everyone had off days, everyone had those days where they just want to bury themselves under a thousand blankets and not speak to a soul. And now the more you thought about it, Remus did have his moods more than anyone else you knew. Allowing his shoddy reasons to add up in your brain, you replied with a nod before taking a tentative step towards him. Now it was your turn to sweat. This moment had been playing on your mind for three years.

Today could be the day you ruin one of your highest-valued friendships. Every time that thought slithered to the forefront of your mind; you were reminded of the guy that Remus was. Kind, nurturing and most importantly, understanding. Maybe if he did let you know that those romantic feelings were one-sided you could finally move on and allow your affections to rest elsewhere. At least you knew he would do it kindly... right?

Clearing your throat and finally looking up at the adorable boy before you, all buried in knit jumpers and chocolate wrappers, you abandoned to little prompt you'd written with the help of James. You'd let this one just come from the heart.

"so there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while I... well I..." with a humourless laugh you shook off your nerves "I really like you Remus... not just as a friend... as more than that... and I have for a while now... I just can't go another day pretending that"-

"Shut up”

What?

At first, you were convinced maybe you were hearing things. Surely he hadn't stopped your love confession with shut up. Not your Remus.

"w-what?"

His eyes were cast down angrily, like even looking at you was a chore he was too disgusted to try.

"I said shut up... I don't want to hear it okay..."

"Remus-"

"Are you deaf? y/n just get out..." Hot tears rolled down your cheeks as the volume at which he was speaking increased "Seriously get out..."

With one final sob from you and that painful yell from Remus, you took this as your queue to concede to his demands. Maybe he wasn't your Remus after all, maybe he never was.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Remus reckoned that if you did a study on werewolves vs Cornish pixies, pixies would make better companions. He had never felt as awful as he did right now. It had been a week since your conversation, the most one-sided conversation in history. The full moon had come and gone, but the tremendous guilt he held only grew.

Despite his actions towards you, Remus had been in love with you since your first year at Hogwarts. He remembered the clumsy bundle of hair and wide smiles that wouldn't take no for answer when it came to befriending him. He knew then he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Keyword wanted.

Dreams had plagued Remus since first year. Dreams where he would transform and it would be too late for you to flee, the disgust evident on your face before he mauls you, just like the monster he truly was deep down.

Remus never told you about his affliction. Not because he didn't trust you, but because he knew how much you cared. He knew you'd want to be there through every bump in the road and that included transformations. He wanted nothing less than for those nightmares to become a reality.

So the exhaustion of his upcoming transformation, his fear of letting you get too close and all over protectiveness he had for you resulted in his reaction to your confession that day. As he said, he’d never felt worse.

That brought us to our current moment. The marauders crowded around Remus as he recounted that interaction for the fifth time that week. The group could sympathise with both sides. Remus had never been good with relationships platonic or romantic. But if there was one thing they were in no doubt about that would be his feelings for you.

"Look Moony you've got to win her back..." Sirius ordered, his arms crossed and his brows furrowed as he thought up some extravagant way he could win back your heart.

"I never had her In the first place pads..."

All of them groaned at his self-loathing. It had become customary for Remus to resign himself from all the nice things he could have. In his mind, his affliction meant he didn't deserve them. They thought that was bullshit.

"Come on Remus don't be dense... y/n has liked you since... well since forever..." Peter chimed in.

"And yeah she might not be yours physically but mentally I think she is... the number of guys I've watched her turn down all because of you..." James stated massaging his temples out of frustration.

A huff left Remus's lips as he shook his head out of pure disbelief. Did you like him that much? Him? I mean you had told him yourself, but he still thought it preposterous.

"don't you want to be with her Remus?"

"Of course, I do!"

The three smirked at their friend's outburst. If the way he spoke about you wasn't enough to confirm his love for you, it was the constant longing stares. For someone who was categorised as a scary werewolf, he sure did resemble a kicked puppy.

"Well bloody tell her..."

"Fine... fine I will..."

Sirius clapped his hands together before throwing an arm around his friend "Right so this is what we're going to do..."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Sombre would be a good way to describe your mood over the past week. You skipped more classes this week than you had throughout the entirety of your schooling career. A straight up rejection would of been manageable, sure you'd still be devastated but you could move on. But the person who had told you to shut up, glared at you like you were scum was not the boy you knew.

The worst part about all of it was that you still missed him. Those honey eyes and the scent of coco. That dimple beside his mouth when he’d concede to a lopsided smile. And most importantly that voice, the deep gruff that coated his vocal chords in the morning and that higher lilt that he sung out when he got particularly passionate about a certain topic. You adored him, every single part of him. But he hated you.

Knock knock

“Lily piss off I want to be alone…”

Knock knock

You groaned even louder burying your swollen eyes in your pillow “Lily please I told you I’d come out when I was ready…”

Knock knock

“Lily please-“

“S’not Lily…”

Heart stilling. Time seemed to stop for a moment, your head raising, as your red-tinted eyes zoned in on the door, but more importantly the figure that must of been standing behind it. Do you tell him to fuck off? Tell him how angry he had made you? Let him know that you’d never felt so betrayed and hurt. However, before you got the chance to lay any of those words upon your tongue the door swung open and those honey eyes met your own.

Tulips in hand, a scruffy piece of paper and the most desperate face you ever did see stood before you.

“I’m so sorry…”

Remus must of noticed the state you were in. Used tissues coated every surface in reach, empty chocolate bar wrappers and even a half drunken bottle of fire-whiskey. Let’s just say you’d definitely been doing better before.

“You were really mean Remus…”

You let your eyes meet his once more, attempting not to cry again. You failed.

“I know I was… merlin I was such a prick… and yunno what… you have every right to never speak to me again but…” Remus had never been good with words, you could tell his mind was battling with saying the right thing. You nodded silently in attempt to comfort him and it seemed to do the trick. Pulling the scrappy piece of paper to eye level, Remus took a shaky breath and continued.

“I… I have loved you since the first time I met you… when you nearly threw me onto the tracks at the train station by how hard you hugged me… and then I fell in love with you again in second year when you made it your duty to always tie my tie for me since I always forgot…”

Another shaky breath.

“… in third year I noticed how you would only laugh like a complete idiot around me and it made me want to kiss you and be sick at the same time because… because shit you’re everything to me y/n…”

Now you were full blown sobbing, purposely as quietly as possible, you didn’t want to miss a word that slipped past his lips.

“Well then why… why did you tell me to get out…”

“Because I don’t deserve you… there’s a lot about me you don’t know and… I know you won’t care… but I do…” He seemed resigned to rejection. Like there was no conceivable way you two could be together. One thing he didn’t account for however was your stubbornness.

Rising to your feet, you took tentative steps towards him. Your fingers ghosted his cardigan covered biceps as they traveled to his rose dusted cheeks.

“Do I get a say in any of this? Remus I couldn’t think of any singular thing that could make me love you any less…” That doubt crept behind his eyes and you made him look at you before whispering “Not one thing…”

There was a comfortable silence as you basked in one an others presence.

“Okay…” it came out as an almost giddy sigh, but your ears caught it.

“Okay?”

“Okay… please can I kiss you now?”

“You could’ve kissed me six years ago dummy”

#Remus lupin x reader #Remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x fem!reader #Remus lupin #harry potter #Sirius black #James potter #marauders x reader #marauders era #marauders

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crime-wives · 5 months

Text

ok so i've been rewatching the good place recently and there was once scene in season 2 episode 6 that stood out to me.

the scene between michael and janet in his office where michael refuses to kill her. "why are you making such a big deal about turning me into a marble forever?" "because of reasons. there are reasons. they exist, and I just don't want to explain them right now." "what are the reasons?" "they're reasons, janet!" "okay, but what are they?"

"the reason is friends!"

after he says this, we see michael blink in shock over the fact that he actually, truly cares for someone. it surprises him that he even has the ability to care. it humanizes michael to the audience by showing that even after years of nihilism, he still cares somewhere deep down. this is the first time we've seen michael express his feelings honestly. and it feels raw and real in a way that is emphasized so well in the show. before this moment, michael was trying to form excuses over his reluctance to kill janet, i.e. 'vicky will find out' 'we need you to escape to the real good place' etc etc. after the shock has set in, michael stands by his statement.

"but for me, our… our relationship has become important. you're my oldest, my truest, my most loyal friend. i can't just get rid of you and replace you with some other janet I don't even know."

in this moment we see michael recognize the value of external connection and companionship. the realization that things, that people matter to him.

i talk a lot about michael, but this moment also humanizes janet. i mean this in a way that's different from michael. throughout the show so far, we've seen janet as a comic relief, or as someone who really isn't very fleshed out as a character. she's mostly used as a device on the show for the main characters to gain items or knowledge for their own benefit. it's established very early on that she's not human and therefore does not have feelings. however, as we progress through the show, after all of the reboots, we see janet begin to develop feelings. she becomes more human because of that. additionally, this scene impacts janet as well. this is because it's different for janet to matter to someone not just because she's useful to them. michael values her because she's his friend, because he cares about her. not what she can provide him. maybe it started like that, but now, she has value outside of being useful. it shows janet that she is not replaceable, no matter what she may think. however, even with her developing psyche, she's still pragmatic to a fault. insisting that killing her is the choice that causes the most good.

in fact, now that i think about it, this is an interpretation of the trolley problem presented for michael. 'kill his closest friend to save the neighborhood, or not kill her and let the neighborhood be destroyed, and his experiment deemed a failure, risking retirement'

in the previous episode titled "the trolley problem" we see michael's fickle grasp of ethics as he plots on how to cause the most carnage. however now, when faced with the exact scenario in a way that applies to him, he is unable to do anything. he chooses to save janet's life, risking the entire experiment, his future, and the existence of everyone else. and is that selfish, sure. but it shows that michael has grown. that he prioritizes the people he cares about over all else. it shows that michael is loyal, a trait we have not seen him display so far in the show.

anyway, what was i on about again? oh right, the importance of michael and janet's relationship in the development of both of their characters. about how friendship, having people to lean on, being vulnerable, caring, having external support can help you build yourself into a better person. i think that good place is a show centered on the belief that everyone can change, that it is never too late to improve oneself. the good place shows that being "good" is a choice. that you have to choose it over and over and over again. and that even in this bleak world, it matters. all you can do is be kind and caring and good towards others, and i think this is the moment where michael chose it for the first time.

#when i say that scene stood out to me i mean i spent the last 10 minutes sobbing about it #maybe i'm completely wrong #i'm not really sure but all i know is that it matters #our choices matter #i have to believe that #i'm sorry about how long and unhinged this ramble is #in all likelihood it makes no sense but i feel like i had to say it #the good place #tgp #michael and janet #anya's unhinged rambles

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