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mellometal · 3 years

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Hi, everyone.

I have something extremely important to talk about that is NOT fandom related. I really do hope this can reach everyone on here, especially since it's still Autism Acceptance Month.

A few quick questions for anyone who happens to see this before I dive right into this: Have you ever heard of Dhar Mann? If so, have you ever seen his videos? What do you think about them?

If you don't know who Dhar Mann is, he's a content creator whose main platforms are Instagram and YouTube. He makes these videos about various scenarios from a couple on the brink of divorce, to kids bullying one of their peers, even about Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of his videos have some kind of message at the end that really drives the point home. One of his most recent videos is about ASD, which is what I'm going to discuss today.

Personally, I think some of his videos are interesting, despite the concepts being reused and recycled over and over; however, how I feel about the video he made about ASD is the complete opposite. I'll summarize the video he made so you don't have to watch it. (If you really want to watch it to see exactly what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna stop you. Do what you need to do in order to form your own opinion.)

The video Dhar Mann made about ASD is about this boy who excludes his autistic brother from participating in activities with his friends at school. The boy bullies his autistic brother and does pretty much everything to make his brother's life Hell, even going as far as to pretend that he doesn't know his own brother. The boy "instantly regrets his decision" when their mom is called into the school to discipline her son for bullying his autistic brother. What his mother says is what REALLY upsets me. The message of this video in particular is this, WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. I wish I was kidding. But here's the message below:

How the video concludes is the boy reluctantly includes his autistic brother in every single activity, the boy sees his brother's potential, and they live happily ever after. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

As an autistic woman who works with disabled people for a living, that message Dhar Mann put in this video specifically is not only extremely ableist, but is also spreading misinformation about ASD.

News flash to all the people who still spread misinformation about ASD: Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school, nor is every single autistic person a young white man who's a Super Genius™️. (I could go on all day long about how the media stereotypes autistic characters and autistic people in general, but that's a whole other topic.) No autistic person is the same, meaning we all fall on the spectrum in different places and all that jazz. There's no "look" to autistic people either because no autistic person looks the same.

Autistic women exist.

Autistic girls exist.

Autistic nonbinary people exist.

Autistic BIPOC and AAPI exist.

Autistic people who are completely nonverbal exist.

Autistic people who are completely verbal exist.

Autistic people who are in the middle of being nonverbal and verbal exist.

Autistic people who require minimal to no support exist.

Autistic people who require moderate support exist.

Autistic people who require full support exist.

Autistic LGBT people exist. (Reason why I bring this one up is because the media almost always shows cishet autistic men and I don't see autistic LGBT representation very often, if ever.)

Autism isn't something you can "catch". People have this same mentality about ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome too, which, by the way, you can't "catch" either.

Autism doesn't "go away" when you reach adolescence or adulthood. Why? BECAUSE AUTISTIC TEENAGERS AND AUTISTIC ADULTS EXIST. Autistic kids grow into autistic teenagers, then into autistic adults.

You can't "cure" it either. Unless you can build a time machine and a device to go back in time to change how a person's brain develops, there is no cure. ABA therapy is a fucking shit show in itself that does more harm than good.

The title of the video is a real squick for me too. It's mostly because I don't particularly enjoy people using person first language (the "boy with autism" part). I've seen many other autistic people on multiple other platforms sharing that same sentiment and preferring identity first language (autistic person). There are also others who prefer using person first language and those who don't have a preference. That's all perfectly valid. Whatever you prefer people using when referring to you, or whatever you refer to yourself as, in this case, is totally valid and I love you. This goes for disabilities in general, not just Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Regarding the message in this video, here's my response to it! A quick heads-up, my response is VERY long and VERY passionate. I was VERY close to making a response video where I tear that video apart AND tear Dhar Mann a new asshole. Unfortunately, it worked me up so much that I was really struggling with what I wanted to say and I had to stop multiple times because I kept stumbling on my words. That's how angry this message made me. I'll try my best to explain whatever parts you have questions about. I put my response in the nicest way I possibly could, despite me seething with rage, wanting to go OFF on him.

(The first part of my response are the first three screenshots, and the second part are the last three screenshots.)

The first part of my response, I did forget to add that the message is offensive and disrespectful to autistic people as a whole. I apologize. My initial comment got way too long. I pretty much covered that when I told him the message is ableist. I wanted to clear that up before anyone asks about it.

The second part of my response is me opening up about my experience with being diagnosed with ASD, formerly known as As//per//ger's Syn//dro//me, at sixteen years old. I also went into how not calling ASD what it truly is (which is a disability) and calling it a "different ability" instead is extremely harmful and is treating being disabled like it's a bad thing.

By the way, saying that a disabled person is disabled isn't a bad thing. I'm disabled. It is what it is. Does it have its challenges? You bet. Does it help me with certain things? Hell yeah. I can really absorb information about my favorite bands, characters, shows, books, etc., and tell you a lot about those things. For example, I can tell you that Su can't ride a bike or read manga and she's okay with that. I can also tell you she can't tie her shoes very well, which is why her boots don't have laces and are slip-on and/or zip-up. But that doesn't mean my struggles are nonexistent or that I never struggle. I do, and it makes my life Hell at times.

The narrative that autism is a bad thing to have, every autistic person is somehow broken and they all need to be "fixed" is also super fucked up and not true. That's the narrative that I received when I was diagnosed by a therapist I had. I'm gonna be real here, I cried when I was first told that I was diagnosed with ASD. I felt like I was broken. I already felt like a total outcast. Being told about my diagnosis made me feel even more broken than I already felt. I was so ashamed of myself, despite me not doing anything wrong whatsoever, that I masked for SEVEN YEARS of my life. I masked for so long that I forgot I was even diagnosed with ASD in the first place. I wasn't taught how to really put my special interests into good use. I kinda had to figure that out on my own. I was pretty much under the assumption that me being interested in anime, cartoons, music, comics, theatre, writing, etc., to the point of obsession, was somehow weird and hurting people around me. You know, despite those things being harmless. Despite me being able to separate those things from other things that are important (like work, for example). Despite my only surviving parent, other family members, and the woman he was dating at the time completely overreacting and not bothering to see exactly what makes these things so special to me.

(By the way, having a disability does not completely make who a person is. There are a lot more things that make who a person is than that.)

It's kinda shocking that I wasn't able to come to terms with my diagnosis until this year. Considering that I masked for so long due to being ashamed of myself, plus being treated like a burden for being disabled, it's probably not very surprising. I initially thought at the time that it was the worst thing to have, as I was already struggling with enough shit back then, but came to realize it's not a bad thing. It doesn't change who I am. But I'm glad I came to terms with it finally nonetheless.

This is getting way too long, so I'm gonna wrap things up here. If you've read this far, thank you so much. I'm sorry this got so long!

If you watched the video, what are your thoughts on it? If this is your first time hearing about Dhar Mann, how do you feel about him? If you're a Dhar Mann fan, did this change your opinion on him in any way? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

Have a great day, everyone!

#mello speaks #dhar mann #autism acceptance #autism spectrum disorder #being autistic isn't a bad thing #autism isn't a different ability stop fucking saying it is #autistic community #autism self advocacy network #autistic women and non-binary people network #fuck autism speaks #i had to say this #dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu #autism acceptance month #autism speaks does not speak for me #light it up red #light it up gold #no puzzle pieces #tw dhar mann

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uwuowotf2waslife · 4 years

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The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella) and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

#tf2 #tf2 imagines #tf2 facts #tf2 self insert #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 sniper #tf2 engie #tf2 demo #so #all #long post #autism #relationships dynamic #mentall health

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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Masterlist Part 3

Tumblr has a limit to how many links can be in a post. This means that I have to separate my Masterlist into parts. You can reach me for Commission by clicking the links. Rules.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Updated as of 07/11/2020 (if you think I missed a favorite of yours let me know and I’ll fix the list)

Unknown coming to “rescue” a depressed MC

Jaehee has a romantic dream about MC

Zen and MC chatting over word puzzles

Saeran + Ray + Suit W/ an MC always ready to fight for them

Jaehee defending MC from an entitled customer

Saeran comforting Lila: “He didn’t do it out of the good of his heat, he did it out of the dumb of his ass!” + Bonus Saeyoung commentary

Zen comforting an MC with severe depression

Ray and his MC laying together

V + Zen + Saeran W/ an MC with dry humor and coarse attitude

RFA W/ a foster child

Zen + Saeran + Seven W/ an MC with an alcoholic dad

Ray W/ an MC who seems apathetic

RFA W/ an MC that self-isolates during depression

Zen x Seven x Reader Polyship

Anastasia AU

Zen comforting a plus-size MC

Jaehee + Jumin + V W/ a quiet and calm MC

Seven comforting an MC with an undiagnosed mental illness

Yoosung W/ a foreign MC

Zen W/ an MC who tosses and turns in their sleep

Seven W/ an Male MC with scars

OCs x Reader Soulmate AU, Minji part two, Judas part three,

RFA + Saeran W/ an MC with PTSD

Zen W/ an MC on the anniversary of their attempt at ending their life + PART TWO + PART THREE

RFA + Minor Trio W/ a comedian MC

Seven + Minor Trio W/ an MC who is a criminal pathologist

Zen + Yoosung + Seven Comforting an MC during a thunderstorm

Judas (My MC) being comforted by the MC about his past

RFA W/ an MC who looks like Rika

RFA + V + Saeran W/ an MC who has them as their phone wallpaper

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC who never gets cold

Ray W/ an MC with a fondness for sad flowers

Minji (My MC) with an MC who loves to bake

Zen + Jumin + V W/ a Male MC that’s taller than them

Jumin W/ a paramedic MC who treats him after an accident

RFA platonic cuddles

Saeran + Ray + Suit W/ an Affectionate MC

Most Likely to Least Likely to Tease an MC for a crush on another member

Color Soulmate Jumin

Color Soulmate V

Lila x Reader blurb 2

RFA + V W/ an MC who is always cold

AE Saeran W/ an MC who is still afraid of him

If Jumin dealt with the Bomb, two

Saeran + Seven W/ an MC who doesn’t like their birthday

RFA + V + Saeran W/ an MC who struggles to speak Korean

RFA W/ an MC with Social Anxiety

RFA + V + Saeran Teasing MC over a crush on one of the other members

Yoosung W/ a Trans Male MC with ASD

Seven + Saeran + Judas with an MC who finds a lump

V W/ an MC who is a pianist

Suit Saeran W/ an MC who is kind to him

Suit Saeran W/ an MC who don’t mince words with him

Saeran + Ray + Suit W/ an MC who cries a lot

Suit Saeran W/ an MC who doesn't react

Suit + Ray + Saeran W/ an MC who calls them a cannibal for eating marshmallows

Zen W/ an MC who cannot stand his drinkin' or smoking due to past abuse

Seven W/ an MC who is still upset about his actions during the bomb scare

RFA + V + Judas + Minji W/ an MC who replaces their items with sweets

RFA W/ an MC who is dealing with a power outage

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC on their period

RFA + Saeran W/ an MC whose family treats them like a maid

Yoosung and MC dealing with depression

My MCs comforting an MC who overworked themself

RFA W/ an MC who had nightmares

RFA W/ an MC with large scars

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC who gets angry when they’re sick

Minor Trio + Jumin + Yoosung with an MC that’s younger than them

RFA W/ a teen MC

Jumin + Seven + V W/ an MC who was trying to make them a cake

Seven + Zen + Jumin W/ an MC who looks like Elizabeth the 3rd

RFA W/ an MC who writes their feelings in lyrics

Jumin + V + Seven W/ an Male MC who doodles them

Yoosung + Zen + Jumin + Seven W/ an MC who wants to braid their hair

Jumin + Seven + Zen W/ an MC who only eats soup

Ray + Suit + Saeran W/ an MC who doesn’t have a cute sneeze

Suit Saeran W/ an MC taller than him

Zen + Jumin + Seven + Saeran W/ an MC with a cute hoodie on

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC who is often flocked by cats

RFA + Minor Trio picking up MC from school

Ray + Suit + Saeran W/ the Teen MC

RFA + V + Saeran W/ an MC whose Mom dotes on them

RFA W/ an MC who is friends with their opposite member

Zen + Jumin + Seven W/ an MC who drinks a lot of coffee

Zen comforting his MC when they’re overworked themself

Zen + Jaehee W/ an MC who has an 80s aesthetic

RFA W/ an MC who keeps trying to get up when they’re on bedrest

RFA + V + Saeran W/ MC on their wedding day

RFA + V + Saeran during a haunted house

Jumin + Zen + Jaehee + Seven with a lawyer MC

V W/ an MC who had a bad abusive relationship

MC comforting V

Jumin W/ MC who struggles with dissociation

Yoosung and MC with a hangover

Zen W/ an Tsundere MC

Seven + Saeran adopted by an MC

Ray W/ an MC who’s like a little sibling

V’s After Ending Ray’s reunion with MC

RFA W/ an insecure MC

Seven and Saeran W/ an MC who used to being pushed around

Suit Saeran not being forbidden from MC’s cleansing

Seven W/ an MC is an affectionate drunk

Seven + Saeran W/ an MC who stretches and it looks a bit lewd

Ray W/ an MC who struggles with Dissociation/Depersonalization

Ray + Seven + Jumin + Yoosung W/ an doting MC

Ray W/ an MC who plays Ukelele

Lady Ray receiving a love letter

Ray W/ an MC with Tourettes

Jumin + Zen + Seven W/ an MC with card tricks

Seven + Zen W/ an MC with horrible period pains

Zen W/ an MC who wants to run off from life’s problems

V + Vanderwood + Saeran W/ an MC who is dry and sarcastic but secretly soft

RFA + Minor Trio W/ a Male MC who is Jumin’s Assistant

Jumin comforting Runaway MC after a nightmare

RFA + V W/ an MC who isn’t physically affectionate

Daily Life W/ Zen

Seven W/ an MC who gets into an accident with one of his babies

Seven W/ an MC who has horrible nightmares

Seven W/ an MC during a depressive episode

Ray W/ an MC wearing his coat

Jumin helping his MC through a depressive episode

Ray + Suit Saeran W/ an MC who forgets to eat

Seven W/ an MC who likes to prank him

MC comforting Seven

Kisses W/ Zen

RFA W/ an MC who wakes them up with kisses

Yoosung W/ an MC with fear of shots

GE Saeran + SE Saeran + Unknown and their brand of kisses

Seven W/ an MC who feels like they may give up on their health again

What if MC and Yoosung dated before they came to the apartment

Jumin W/ an MC who relapsed during their recovery for an eating disorder

Suit Saeran W/ an MC who listens without question

RFA + V W/ an MC with IBS

Zen + MC in a motorcycle accident

Suit Saeran + Male MC > “I’m not scared of you because...”

Zen W/ an MC who is jealous over his romantic scenes

RFA + Saeran W/ an MC who hops into the shower with them

Ray W/ an MC who wants to learn more about flowers

Yoosung W/ an Idol MC who dotes on him

RFA + Saeran W/ an MC who wakes up from a coma

RFA W/ an MC who feels insecure and hides themself from the world

RFA + V + Saeran W/ an MC who has hiccups

Seven + Saeran + Jumin W/ an MC who can meow like a cat

RFA W/ an MC who loves to play pranks

Zen + Seven W/ an MC during a panic attack

Jumin + Zen W/ an MC who was an actor/actress

Seven breaks a promise

Zen W/ an MC who is scared of fireworks

Jumin W/ an MC who is scared of fireworks

RFA + Saeran W/ an MC who teases them from the other room

Yoosung W/ an MC who cooks him breakfast

Zen W/ an MC who is bingeing Tik Toks

Seven + Unknown W/ an MC who has an alter with bad vices

Ray + Suit W/ an MC who has taken the elixir

Saeran W/ an MC who has an Alter who is similar to Suit Saeran

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC who breaks down in the middle of the night

Seven W/ an MC who knew him in college

RFA W/ an MC with schizoid personality disorder

RFA W/ an MC who can’t swim

Seven W/ an MC who procrastinates and works late

RFA+V and Saeran with an MC that is really good at giving massages

Saeran + Vanderwood + Judas + Minji + Lila W/ an MC with schizold personality disorder

RFA + V + Saeran W/ an MC who gets really clingy when tired?

Saeran + Ray + Suit W/ an MC who embroideries everything

RFA + Minor Trio Proposals

Suit Saeran W/ an male MC who doesn’t react

RFA + Minor Trio W/ an MC who is a god/dess

Ray + Suit + Saeran + V W/ a Male MC with ADHD

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casuallyuselesslesbian · 3 years

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Separate the LDS Church from Utah Politics PLEASE (Also some Cannabis Facts)

Fruits and wholesome herbs, including vegetables, which should be used “with prudence and thanksgiving”

That is a direct quote from the LDS Word of Wisdom.

Now, I'm no expert however "wholesome" according to the Oxford Dictionary (The foremost authority on the English language) the definition is as follows:

Wholesome - Adj - conducive to or suggestive of good health and physical well-being

Marijuana (Scientific name: Cannabis) is an herb and the genus for all lower classifications of the plant.

I'll be putting reliable sources for all the claims I'm about to make at end of this post, thank you.

Marijuana (CBD more dominantly than THC) has been proven effective for physical conditions such as: Chronic pain, seizures and inflammation.

Inflammation specifically can be linked into harm from many conditions. Chronic pain is something most people reading this likely haven't had experiences with and it's not something I've experienced either. However, even with that out there I can say it really sucks. How would you like to be in constant pain? No thank you. Onto seizure prevention, CBD specifically has been linked to a sharp decrease in seizures which is amazing! I've never had one but witnessing seizures is a scary thing and preventing them is a great thing for those who have them and for the caretakers and family of those people.

Onto the mental health benefits which focuses more on the THC components. Medical marijuana has been shown to decrease symptoms in those who suffer from mental health disorders such as: PTSD, Anxiety, ADHD, ASD, and slows the progression of diseases that effect the mind such as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.

PTSD and Anxiety sufferers notice and increase in calm, and for the former a decrease in stressful flashbacks*.

(Flashbacks are a symptom that some experience with their PTSD, as far as I've been told or experienced, it's like going back in time to that moment of fear and being made to relive it)

Those who have ADHD and certain ASD diagnosis can notice a decrease in hyperactivity and better focus.

For those with Parkinson's it reduces tremor frequency and intensity and can promote sleep while reducing their pain. In Alzheimer's patients it reduces the threatening inflammation and the rate at which the brain degrades.

So, tell me why the LDS church sent out emails to their members ILLEGALLY urging them to vote NO on the medical marijuana initiative? There are so many benefits, and their Word of Wisdom even agrees with it.

The LDS church is buried far too deep into Utah lawmaking, they get away with blocking laws by urging their members to vote a certain way. They openly defy the law and none punish them because they are such a power. They STILL fund conversion therapy. They openly tell their members to discriminate against those not of their religion and those in the LGBTQ+ community.

I’ve looked at this from so many angles and can’t conceive of a possible way to change this within even the next DECADE aside from spreading awareness.

For the Email:

https://www.deseret.com/2018/8/23/20651840/church-sends-email-to-utah-latter-day-saints-urging-them-to-vote-no-on-marijuana-initiative

For my knowledge sources: https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/treating-seizures-and-epilepsy/other-treatment-approaches/medical-marijuana-and-epilepsy

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK425767/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/medical-marijuana-2018011513085

https://www.healtheuropa.eu/health-benefits-of-cannabis/92499/

#politics #utah #legalize marijuana #separation of church and state #lds #mormon #human rights #awareness

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famedroleplayarchive · 4 years

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KANG SUNGHEE is the LEAD RAPPER of UNITY under DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT. He was born on MARCH 5, 1998. He looks a little like HAN JISUNG (HAN) OF STRAY KIDS.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: han jisung (han), member of stray kids

legal name: kang sunghee

stage name: n/a

pronouns: he/him & they/them

birth date: march 5, 1998

hometown: shanghai, china

position: lead rapper and vocal of unity

claims: feature ; feeling - dimensions soloist 2

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: ableism

kang hyejin moves from busan to seoul with the sole intention of attending one of the countries’ best universities. it’s not just anyone who succeeds at getting a spot in the seoul national university, and she does so with praise and honors. her parents are reluctant to let her go, reluctant to allow their youngest daughter to be far from them for such a long time, but they know it’s the best they can do for her, the best future they can offer her. and so hyejin goes, with goals set in mind, with a big hope for what her career is going to become.

things don’t really go as planned.

for the first year, yes, she manages to keep her track record as clean as possible. her grades are high, her academic accomplishments higher, and, in a majorly male field, she manages to succeed. that is, until she meets kim sungki, on her second year at the university. he’s the very stereotype of the men parents warn their daughters against. older but not at all responsible, she falls for his charms, for his looks and for his words, faster than she thought it’d be possible. from there, her studies go downhill. hyejin starts skipping classes, something she had never done, and accepts recklessness into her life without caring for the consequences. she fights with her parents and gets invited to leave university as she stops bothering to attend anything whatsoever. moving in with sungki, hyejin is forced to take odd jobs here and there, but she’s in love – or at least she believes this is love – and that’s all that matters to her.

getting pregnant was not in her plans, but very little things were and they ended up happening anyway. hyejin is scared but excited – sungki seems happy enough for her not to question the glances he’ll throw her way, his reluctance whenever he’s supposed to follow her somewhere. those are all easy to ignore once she falls in love with her baby boy at the first ultrasound consult. she spends months lost in the bubble of happiness she’s created for herself, one that only grows bigger and stronger as soon as sunghee is brought into the world. he’s so small in her arms, even more so in his father’s arms, and hyejin is nothing but content as she lies down on the hospital bed.

the bubble bursts, eventually. at first, it’s when sunghee’s baek-il arrives and he still hasn’t met his grandparents or either of his uncles. alongside that, she notices the way sungki distances himself. she has to ask for him to give their child the time of day, and his fuse gets shorter and shorter. they fight, sunghee’s piercing scream a match for their loud tones as they shout angry words at each other. the frustration only builds and the moments of reprieve are almost non-existent. the bills are, too, much bigger than either of them can pay with their odd jobs, especially with how hyejin can’t work as much because of sunghee. she goes to sleep with tears in her eyes more often than not, exhausted beyond measure, only to be awoken by a fragile child who doesn’t know any better.

it all comes to an end when hyejin wakes up and sungki is nowhere to be found. she thinks to wait until the end of the day to get worried, hoping it’s because he’s found a well paying job, but those thoughts are erased upon she notices the lack of his clothes. every small belong of his is gone, and there’s not a single note left. the father of her child abandons her on a tuesday morning and it takes her until the evening to muster the courage to call her parents.

hyejin’s father as well as one of her brothers drive up to seoul the next morning. there’s not much they can do other than help her pack all the essentials and shove them into the truck of their respective cars. they can’t hide the shock at meeting sunghee, neither of them even being aware of his existence, but much like hyejin, they fall in love immediately with the blabbering child who’s, at the same time, overjoyed and shy, hiding his face on his mother’s neck as she carries him around.

she doesn’t look back as they leave behind all the dreams she’s ever had and the place where she was forced to let them go.

ii.

for the first three years of his life, sunghee spends most of his time with his grandmother.

his uncle owns a bookstore where his mother starts working at once they move to busan. she takes the most shifts out of anyone who works there, her subtle way of trying to compensate for leaving them behind the way she had. it means she has less time with sunghee, but considering they spend their evenings together, the two of them sharing hyejin’s childhood bedroom, she considers the sacrifice worth it.

at first, sunghee is reluctant to let anyone of the family other than his mom to so much as touch him. he’s fussy, which is not something hyejin had expected, since he had always been such a happy and cuddly baby. eventually he takes to his grandmother, who’s filled with so much patience and care for him that it’s inevitable he’d love her as much as she loves him. and happy he is, a small ball of energy that learns how to speak fast and run faster. he babbles, tries to join conversations even when he doesn’t have the words or the understanding for it. sunghee is their sunshine, the most precious aspect of their lives, and hyejin finds that she doesn’t regret her choices as much, not when she has him.

she doesn’t expect to find love again, but she does. this time, it’s by accident. just another client at the bookstore – one that was, admittedly, pretty handsome, in a way that had her and her sister in law whispering as he walks around. when she goes to help him, he has an accent, one that lets her know he’s not from south korea, but he pronounces his words elegantly. hyejin wouldn’t have to be smarter than she is to know he comes from money. she had expected him to treat her flippantly, or at the very least with some form of disdain, but he’s nothing but charming and sweet. he leaves with a promise of coming back.

and coming back he does. conveniently, whenever hyejin is working. he introduces himself to her as yao jiongmin, indeed a rich business man from shanghai, who’s spending a year in busan working at their local office. the more he visits her, the more she’s charmed by him. inevitably, jiongmin invites her out on a date and hyejin is only a little bit reluctant to accept. she’s been down this road before, she knows, but she’s still a romantic at heart and it’s hard to tell him no when he looks at her the way he does.

they fall in love. he doesn’t seem to mind she has a son, even when sunghee spends most of their first meeting hidden behind his mother’s legs and refusing to say a word to the man.

they get married less than a year later. hyejin’s parents, even more so than her, are at first scared that it’s going to be a repeat of sungki. that she’s going to leave only to have her heart broken by this older man. however, there’s some reassurance to be found at the fact that not only is jiongmin accomplished and successful in a way sungki never was, he’s offering marriage, not just a unstable relationship.

yet again, hyejin moves away from her childhood home to a place where her future lays. a different one, yeah, but one she looks forward to nonetheless.

iii.

after being taken care of by his family until his current age of four, sunghee, going by shengxi, is put in kindergarten within months of their move. it’s not hyejin’s first option, but since jiongmin works and her husband had insisted she went back to studying, she’d rather have her son learning how to socialize than to keep him at home with people looking after him. it’s expected the sunghee would feel reluctant to speak to others at first, especially since he barely knows the language, but jiongmin had assured her they’d find a place where at least one of the carers spoke korean, to make the language learning easier to him.

still, months pass and sunghee retreats further into himself. hyejin’s told about it but is reassured that it’s normal behavior and he’ll feel more comfortable once communicating becomes easier to him. when sunghee’s fifth birthday comes and goes and his behavior doesn’t seem to change, concerns are raised. not only he refuses to socialize with others around him, he takes to playing with himself completely, quickly getting tired of everything he starts, and seems to have lost some of the skills he had already learned by the time they moved to shanghai. at home, he’s impulsive and prone to random bursts of emotions that leave both hyejin and jiongmin confused. after one too many days of sunghee playing silently with one single toy, to the point of crying whenever it’s taken away from him, the caretakers suggest hyejin takes him to see a specialized doctor. with jiongmin busy as he always is during the day, hyejin has no other option but to take her month old daughter with her.

terrified that there’s something wrong with her child, hyejin watches as the doctor speaks to sunghee quietly, having handed him some crayons and papers that he happily draws on. his answers are short hums, as if he’s only half paying attention to the woman, who’s kind to him. it takes a couple of exams and a few more visits to the doctor for a diagnosis to be offered. jiongmin is with her when they are told sunghee most likely has both adhd and asd. they are reassured of their concerns when it comes to whether those are consequences of how he was raised, as well as the best course of treatment. since he’s young, they are told, sunghee can test out the best course of treatment in order to make life as easy for him to deal with as possible, and that he’ll grow up well, especially if his parents try their best to be supportive of him.

as it’s suggested, sunghee tries out several different types of therapies and therapists until they find one that is just right for him, one that helps with the vast majority of the symptoms. slowly, he goes back to speaking, learning mandarin and shanghainese with as much ease as he had learned korean. he regains the basic skills he had started losing, learns mechanisms to better handle his emotions as well as conversations and social interactions. sunghee had surprisingly taken to his sister well and, when his brother is born, their connection comes even faster. he’s deeply attached to both his siblings, working the role of the older brother like it was meant for him. with other kids and strangers, his reluctance to get close is visible and transparent, and he still struggles with making friends, but he learns way to make it easier.

music helps. it’s a suggestion by one of the therapists, that maybe learning an instrument will be good to him. there’s half the chance that sunghee won’t be interested at all and, thus, it would be a pointless pursuit, but they can try. he’s given a handful of options, paths he can follow, instruments to choose. they are surprised when he picks the guzheng, even more so when he takes to it as if he was born to do it. they were warned of the possibility of hyperfixation to a level of it being unhealthy to him, but sunghee practices it because he loves it and stops when he must. it’s added to his square routine, eventually joined by the liuqin as well as the guitar.

iv.

sunghee grows as he’s supposed to, the mechanisms from therapy indeed making life that bit easier to him, to the point where he’s back to being the joyful child he was as a baby. as much support as he’s given, hyejin doesn’t fail to notice when jiongmin grows distant from sunghee. there are two younger children for him to care about – kids he wasn’t even supposed to have, in the first place, but money hadn’t been an issue and there’s a lot you can get away with when you have as much as he does – so hyejin tries not to mind. she knows sunghee is everything jiongmin does not want for an heir, starting from his average grades. every moment he should spend studying is instead spent practicing, or with his siblings. jiongmin tries to forbid sunghee from playing his instruments until his grades are better but hyejin sets her foot down and reminds him that sunghee needs it more than he needs grades.

it’s a given that sunghee is not in the run to be the future owner of the family’s real estate business. even he notices it, at one point, how the expectations slowly go from him to his younger brother, even when the boy is nothing but a small child. having become fiercely protective of both his siblings, sunghee reaches the point of fighting with his step father about it when he’s only ten, which serves to only push them further away from each other. hyejin watches not knowing what to do, refusing to fight her husband or her child over this and knowing she’d have to eventually suffer the consequences of this choice.

the strained relationship with his step father has sunghee finding forms of escapism. he’s already prone to those but he ends up searching for more, ones that go beyond the instruments he plays and the anime he watches relentlessly. it’s how sunghee stumbles upon kpop. inevitably being raised tri-lingual, sunghee easily learns what to search for. decipher’s replay is one of the first music videos he watches and from there he looks further and further, until he’s using his mother’s credit card to buy albums from the most various kpop groups and artists. he goes from kpop to korean hip hop artists and from there to western hip hop. sunghee falls in love with all of those, some more than the others, but all of them in their own way.

up until then, he had been floating, knowing there wasn’t anything in particular he wishes to do with his life eventually other than be around for his siblings and playing his instruments. even though the thought has crossed his mind in the past, auditioning for companies comes as a most definitely impulsive decision.

the summer after sunghee turns fourteen, he sees a few announcements for auditions to the big three companies that would be happening in shanghai. it doesn’t matter that he is perhaps too young for it because he’s already set on going. sunghee can’t walk in without someone responsible and he knows very well that neither of his parents would want to accompany him. instead, sunghee elects the help of an older cousin, someone who understands sunghee’s passion for music better than anyone else. and off he goes, his cousin driving him to and from the auditions, taking the guzheng, the liuqin and the guitar with him because sunghee knows he’d need to have something extra to offer. he tries for bc and gold star first, rapping in both his auditions. even though there is some degree of them being impressed with his skills in all three instruments and his not at all bad rapping, bc doesn’t think his visuals were quite up to their standards and gold star fails at finding any type of star power in him. discouraged, sunghee stills goes to dimensions’ audition. neither of the facts that had stopped him from joining bc and gold star come up, and dimensions seems interested enough in his rapping and his skills with instruments to give him a chance.

sunghee is… surprised, to say the least. as much as he had hoped, he doesn’t expect to actually get in, especially after being easily dismissed by the two companies before dimensions. he’s overjoyed but his happiness simmers when he realizes this mean he’s going to have to tell his parents. it’s inevitable, he had known that, if by some miracle he had gotten in, he’d have to talk to them about it.

hyejin says no, as sunghee knew she would. jiongmin says nothing, as sunghee had also known he would, yet sunghee reckons his step father disapproves of his decision, much like he’d have disapproved of anything that didn’t align exactly with the expectations jiongmin has of him. sunghee cries, sobs, begs, for once letting go of all the restraint he had to learn, and throws the mother of all tempter tantrums. it’s not even purposeful – sunghee is not used to be told no because there’s not much he asks for in the first place, his parents jumping in to give him what he needs before he so much as has to think about it.

there’s only so much of her son crying that hyejin can take and, after an entire day of it, she goes from no to how are we going to do this? if jiongmin disapproves, he doesn’t voice his opinion and sunghee can’t read his expressions or understand the nuances of his tone when he speaks to know the overall idea of what his step father is thinking. hyejin calls sunghee’s doctors – that had since been reduced from a team to only two – and is reassured that, wherever he goes, he can still consult with them through video and phone calls. they also let her know that, if he needs someone in person, there are always people they can recommend who would be happy to treat him.

another concern that arises is who sunghee is going to stay with, as hyejin refuses to let him live in a dorm with people he doesn’t know. it’s already going to be stressful enough as it is, she knows, and if he’s set on doing this, she doesn’t want it to be worse. she calls her brother, the one who had moved to seoul only five years prior, and he’s more than eager to receive sunghee for as long as he needs to stay around.

just like that, the matter is resolved. sunghee cries before he leaves, arms wrapped tightly around his siblings. the love he has for them is not one he understands, and there’s a never ending ache in his heart when he realizes that he’s not going to be able to see them as often as he’d like to. the hug he gets from his step-father doesn’t last long and that on itself manages to break his heart a bit. his mother flies with him to seoul, sticks around for almost two weeks when she originally was only going in order to sign the papers for his contract. sunghee cries the hardest when she leaves as he’s still in the process of getting settled and everything still feels foreign enough that it terrifies him a lot.

vi.

training is… it’s hard. sunghee is thrown completely out of his axis and the only saving grace is that trainee life has a routine even more strict than the one he had in the past. it still takes him a while to adjust to it and, wasn’t for his uncle and aunt, he knows it would’ve been impossible for him to settle properly. within the first month sunghee manages to make three different trainers mad at him, for various reasons, and words are thrown at him that sunghee is glad he doesn’t understand. after the third time, his aunt convinces sunghee to be honest to the company about his diagnosis. the boy is reluctant because he doesn’t want to either be defined by it or have them going easy on him because of it, but she insists that they are going to need to find out eventually.

his aunt goes with him when he tells them and whereas he’s worried they might kick him out because of it, he’s only asked about his treatment. the woman does most of the talking, explaining the details of his diagnosis and insisting that none of them make it impossible for sunghee to be a good trainee, but that there are still things to be taken into consideration with their treatment of him.

notes are taken and given to his trainers. the majority of them change the way they treat him, in subtle ways that sunghee doesn’t even notice beyond his trainee life becoming slightly easier to deal with. whoever doesn’t, at least avoids yelling at him as much as they do everybody else. it helps that sunghee is genuinely dedicated to what he’s doing. on his worst days, he’s not willing to talk much and his attention span is even more out of it than usual, but sunghee still tries. for once he’s allowed himself to have a dream, to hope for something, to want to become better at things he hadn’t even thought about before, and he puts in the necessary effort.

vii.

sunghee doesn’t expect to be offered a spot in unity when he does. he’s barely turned seventeen and he knows there are other trainees who are better than him, especially when it comes to dancing. definitely not one to question a decision that will be beneficial to him, sunghee takes it gladly. he’s even more surprised when they offer for him to contribute with the lyrics for unity’s debut song, the 7th sense. sunghee is thrilled to be able to do something he loves, to be given opportunities when he thought he wouldn’t get them at all.

an introvert at heart, the actual debut is a bigger challenge than what he had expected but one he faces head high. surrounded by members he’s known long enough to feel comfortable, sunghee allows for his excitable personality to shine through whenever unity attends variety shows and he gains a considerable fanbase because of that.

overall, sunghee is content with where unity is. their ever growing fanbase and international appeal terrifies him a bit, as none of them are certain of what can come from it.

#fmdfollow #dimensionsentertainment #unity #champion

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trouble-but-make-it-double · 4 years

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What is Normal Anyway?

This weekend was interesting to say the least. On Saturday I hung out with my S.O which was fun. We decided to get some snacks from a local Asian Grocer (we wore gloves and a mask don’t worry). I love Asian snacks so if anyone has any recommendations please let me know, or just international snacks, something not... white I guess. We got meltykiss, dried fish and peanuts, peko chan milk chocolate, Kinko no yama, lychees and dried mango. Yes, it was a haul. I began to hyper-fixate about Japan and ended up teaching my S.O some basic Japanese. Anyway... we then watched Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, I actually didn’t mind it, I don’t understand the hate it received (like I do but I don’t). Then we went to my house and cooked a Thai dessert which was made of banana, coconut and lychee. The recipe is here if you want to try it, (recipe). I also made some sago.

Sunday... that was a ride. The morning progressed as usual, I actually didn’t have many issues with the ADHD and ASD, just the usual fatigue and cluttered head. My parents, my S.O and I were all going to go to ‘Flower Power’ but my dad got a call saying that his last close family member was dying. My mum and dad immediately left to go to Taree so that my dad could say good bye. I didn’t really know her but I didn’t really cope. A lot of trauma from previous deaths in the family all came up at one time and just slapped me across the face. It was a bitter nostalgia I guess. My S.O did his best to keep my mind off it. They were so sweet, they bought me some nice pencils and a coloring-in book which was all different mythological creatures (it is at Kmart $6 AUSD). We ended up getting Indian for dinner and then I just collapsed asleep.

It was definitely a interesting weekend that I was not expecting. I am so grateful for the support of my family and S.O. Remember to find people who will help you through your tough times. Also, talk to people. You may think you are being annoying or pestering people or think that other people have it worse, but it does not mean that it is not tough for you. You do not need to worry if your issue is valid or not. Every struggle you have is valid. Seek help if you need it.

Lots of Love,

Pip

#asd #adhd #blog #vlog #autism #stim #stimming #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #dyscalcullia #history #cope #trauma #help #story #biography #colouring #mythology #Japanese #snacks #food

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problemnyatic · 5 years

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Guys. I know I’ve abandoned tumblr for a long time, but this is a matter of necessity. I might lose my home soon.

October hit my household really hard. I’m a trans woman living with her partner, a trans man, and her nonbinary best friend, and due to a number of reasons, some of which I’ll explain here, we missed our rent payment last month. The renting company that charges us is predatory and the late fees are extremely steep, and they won’t allow us to just pay last month’s rent while we get the money for this month. We have to pay the nearly $3,000 in full, or we might get evicted at the end of the month. We’ve managed to scrape together about 2/3 of that money, but we’re running out of friends and family members to beg from. All we need is $600 pieced together across as many small donations as it takes to cover the difference. I think we’ll be able to make up for the rest ourselves, or at least I’m hoping that’s the case. I can’t bring myself to ask you guys for more. All three of us struggle with depression and PTSD, as well as a mixture of ADHD/ASD. Living on our own together has been a really, really tough learning experience for all of us, but we’ve really made huge strides in our own mental health and time management, etc. You know, functional adult stuff. But between some ill-timed bouts of executive dysfunction, repeated car troubles, and all three of us coming down with the flu, one after the other, we just.. missed our rent payment for October. That tacks on an extra $450 to our already $1,150 monthly rent just for a small 2 bedroom in a crummy part of town. And the late fees for this month have already begun hitting hard. I hate hate hate that it’s come to this, begging for money from strangers online for what feels like my own failure, but I need to swallow my pride and shame because if this doesn’t work, I’m just... we’re fucked. Please, guys. This is honest to god my last resort. There’s nothing else I can do. Please, please, if you can’t donate, reblog this, share this somewhere else. Tell a friend you think might be able to donate. Anything. If you can’t donate, you can still help carry this desperate plea to someone who might be able to. Please. Anything helps. Anything. The Gofundme: https://www.gofundme.com/f/nfy73-help-me-keep-a-roof-over-my-head My twitter post so you can share it there, as well: https://www.gofundme.com/manage/nfy73-help-me-keep-a-roof-over-my-head I can’t thank you enough if you donate, or even just if you reblog or share this anywhere else. I’m sorry if I’ve failed to tag this right or anything, it’s been so so so long since I’ve been on tumblr. I just know I have followers here, and I need to spread this as far as possible if it’s going to work. All of you who’ve stuck around here are damn troopers, and sometimes I miss it here. I wish you all the best, truly.

#lgbt #fundraiser #trans crowdfund #lgbt+#lgbtq #lgbtqia+#I don't even know what to tag. It's been so long #Please. Just help. I'm so fucking desperate and I've been in and out of panic attacks for days about this #I don't know what I'm doing or how this works #I just need people to see this. I just want to have a home.#I'm so so so sorry if this is really guilt-trippy #I'm just really fucking scared and doing everything I can to try to keep my home #Thank you so so so so much #for even just seeing this post #trans #long post

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orochimartyr · 6 years

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Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people idonthavefriends.jpg @ironicmaiden tagged me b/c she’s great. I see you fam.

Star Sign: The Serpent lol I’m keeping this.

Height: 5 ft 1. on tall days

Gender: Female

Birthday: April 7.

Relationship status: No thanks

Who is your crush: Raziel

Song that is Stuck in Your Head: The Outsider by A Perfect Circle

Last Movie: Malevolent, Netflix original spook flick. It was okay!

Last T.V Show: In the middle of The Haunting of Hill House. No spoilers.

Why You Create this Blog: To roleplay Orochimaru. Oh yes. I used to have rules, and threads, and tags. It was crazy. I would write a lot. I think I lost motivation among time.

What Do You Post/Reblog: Now I just reblog snakes and memes. Sometimes I draw things!

Last Thing You Googled: “chiaroscuro artists” I was trying to be witty but wanted to be sure I was spelling it correctly.

Favorite song lyric: That’s not a fair question. So many. I think a line from Roaring 20′s by Panic @ the Disco atm. “My tell-tale heart’s a hammer in my chest/ cut me a silk tie tourniquet.”

What Are You Wearing: Jeans, a light pink flannel shirt over a World of warcraft shirt (Undercity Gravediggers, as grim as it gets)

Dream Job: Maybe design monsters & stuff.

Currently reading: I haven’t read a book in years mang.

Top 3 Universes: The Legacy of Kain, Naruto, Pokemon

Last time I cried and why: Sunday b/c I was watching the Haunting of Hill house & got to Luke’s episode. Doesn’t help that my little brother’s name is Lucas.

A picture of me: Can’t I’m at work doing nothing. :/

Ideas of a perfect date: Olive Garden + a movie??

A fact about my life: I’m isolated in every sense of the word

What’s one thing you regret? Not knowing how to interact with people well and not wanting to. Not being able to shift blame for that from myself being a shit person to my handful of mental illnesses.

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Chris Hemsworth probably.

Have you ever taken a picture naked? No

Have you ever had a crush? Nope

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nope. If anyone had a problem with me they were either scared of me or let it go b/c I’m a wee girl

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Once I was super depressed & my parents were arguing so I crept out of the house at 11pm & went to taco bell. I was an adult tho so...

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Nope

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? In college I skipped classes all the time b/c anxiety but every now and again I was like “Fuck this spanish class I’m going to the aquarium”

Have you ever been on a plane? Yes!

Have you ever kissed a picture? Probably. Probably some horrific monster I drew and gave a mundane name. Like Wadsworth.

Have you ever touched a snake? I AM SNAKE. My Texas rat snake Ramses and my corn snake Amenophis. Also have picked up wild ribbon snakes, a yellow rat snake, and a tiny ring neck snake! I love snakes.

Have you ever felt like dying? Bruh. This entire adult thing? In this economy? I want to die a lot.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yeah part of having a triple combo of anxiety/depression/ADHD with bonus ASD lightning round: doing things I tell myself not to is a daily struggle. “Run” “I have to work” “youre in trouble” “But-” “Now youre tired.”

Phobia: Responsibilities (same), expectations actually

Middle name: Lace

Are you a virgin? Yeah

What’s your sexual orientation? Asexual aromantic.

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? Nope. If my family is drinking something I might take a sip but its largely gross.

Someone you miss: My big little brother

Favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip biiiiitch.

One insecurity: They all culminate in this guilt-amalgam of “I will never amount to anything or remember what it is to be happy” Boom. Heavy

What my last text message says: "Text if you need anything” to my mom. Driving her around more and more as her vision gets worse

Have you ever painted your room? No but I plaster the walls in posters and shit.

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? No thanks to kissing

Have you ever slept naked? Nah man. Crumbs in the bed. I’m cold

Have you ever been dumped? No that requires dating

Have you ever stole money from a friend? No!

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Probably. I drove my comic book club around in college a few times

Have you ever been arrested? Nope

Have you ever made out with a stranger? Nope

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Chilled w dudes at the mall and aquarium.

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? Only that time I went for midnight depression tacos

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? No. I just don’t like people like that. I don’t know why.

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Hotel rooms are expensive. Convention rules man

Have you ever seen someone die? I don’t think so.

Favorite Harry Potter spell: Wingardium LeviOsa

Have you ever hated the way you look? Although I’m very negative about myself as a person I’ve always been small and cute and appreciated it. Like I’m depressed but I’m adorable about it.

Have you ever witnessed a crime? Probably

Have you ever pole danced? No. That sounds like exercise and patriarchy

Have you ever been lost? Maybe. I’m a bit oblivious of my surroundings

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? Yeah California>Colorado>California>North Carolina>Montana>South Carolina. Military familiy

I tag:anybody that wants to do it, I suppose.

#snaekmeem #personal

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anapologethicc · 2 years

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i think what set me off the most this week was when i was in my class which was about being able to identify and cater to the needs of gifted students and students with special needs (THAT is an entirely separate discussion and i'm gonna use the word neurodivergent)

So this semester because we're finally back face to face after a year and a half of being online (might go back online cuz of omicron ://) anyways i made it a point to sit in the front of every class so i don't get distracted and to make sure i pay attention. so last week i went to this class that i mentioned above and the really liked my discussion answers (mind you i was the youngest person in this class) and we were also made to form groups to do little discussions during which this fifth year guy says to me "you seem to know a lot about this topic (ND children)" to which i was like yeah i've researched a lot into it cause i'm interested and want to be able to help students in my classroom in the future. and then class ended and yadda yadda.

and then THIS week. i went back to class and we had to watch this short documentary/news video on how much the government here (and mostly everywhere else too) SUCKS at providing for students who need extra help and support in the classroom. and we saw a couple of case studies. and this documentary thing must've been quite old cause they used the term and diagnosis "asperger's syndrome" which obviously since 2013 doesn't exist as an official diagnosis anymore.

it's placed under the ASD (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis instead. and so i told my group members this information and they were all like surprised and everything. they then went on to discuss how ND children actually had the ability and capacity to be social and emotional. (which once again pissed me off because everyone's idea of ND people comes from the media who mostly always portrays them incorrectly)

and then i got asked again why i knew so much. to which i unfortunately replied "i have ADHD and a lot of the symptoms or characteristics of ASD or even of gifted students can sometimes be quite similar so i relate to the experiences and that's why i can speak on the topic quite well"

to which this bag of dicks replies "yOu dOn'T loOK LikE yoU hAVe ADHD" and here is where i wanna take of my shoe and throw it at him but i control myself and explain to him in layman's terms that i'm a grown adult who has control over my actions and impulses much better than a child who doesn't have any idea how differently their brain or body functions.

if he was smarter i would've tried to explain to him that i spent a lot of my life masking and trying to fit myself into the box of NT people and how harmful it was and how after i learnt that i might have ADHD (which i do) and maybe autism (which i need to get assessed for) how much i've read up on both diagnoses and watched so many hours worth of videos and read so many ig posts or even tumblr posts about the different experiences.

and that day i left class so pissed off. because he would never have any idea how hard someone with a ND brain needs to work in order to keep up with NTs. how little schools do for kids who are neurodivergent and how much these kids struggle all their lives because the proper treatment or resources are just not available or even accessible in a lot of cases.

i worked my fucking ass off last semester. i had 8 courses (2 more than we're required) each of which had 3 hour lectures (have you any fucking idea how much it takes my brain to focus for even half an hour). on top of that i was working under a prof for her research project. i was interning once a week at a kindergarten and i had no time off on saturdays because i come from a religious family where on saturdays we spend the entire day in different religious assemblies. which only leaves me with a sunday to recharge.

so imagine this. i have to work extra hard to focus for 3 hours (on mondays i had 2 lectures back to back which meant sitting still for 6 fucking hours). extra hard to be able to participate in class so the fucking prof can even remember my name correctly. and i had to do about 9 group presentations which required me to interact with people who barely gave a shit. that means taking over and making decisions and making sure things get submitted on time.

and then on top of that at the end of the semester. within the timespan of a month i have to come up with at least 15k to 20k words worth of essays that need to be submitted on time (I CAN BARELY REMEMBER WHAT DAY IT IS on a daily basis)

as someone which adhd. i don't have the attention span required "I'M AN INTEREST BASED LEARNER" i don't have the energy it takes to interact with so many people. "MY SOCIAL BATTERY IS AT -53% AT ANY GIVEN TIME" i don't have the brain power required to submit things on time because my brain's "do this and i will reward you" system IS BROKEN. and i only got 2 WEEKS to recover from about 4 months of working non stop.

i had a meeting with my program head earlier this week. IT'S ONLY BEEN A FUCKING WEEK INTO SEM 2. and he told me that i shouldn't be worried because i'm already doing more than most people. i'm doing a 5 year degree with 2 minors (personal choice and prolly overcompensating). i'm still working on that research proj for my prof and i have a mentorship program i have to complete for my course which requires me to shadow a teacher for about 2 months. I AM EXHAUSTED. I AM TIRED.

and i want it to be heard and recognized that just because there's a bunch of memes and jokes on adhd all over the internet that yes i enjoy and rb sometimes. doesn't mean it isn't fucking exhausting. i have no physical energy. no social energy. and i'm ALWAYS OVERWHELMED. I CANNOT BREATHE.

when i was younger i would stay up all night doing the things i enjoyed because i felt like i never had time during the day cause of school. and now i'm constantly finding ways to get more sleep. i'm always exhausted. and i know that because i'm so exhausted i'm gonna go into my "i'm so overwhelmed my brain has malfunctioned and sent me into adhd paralysis" where i can't function. i can't eat. i can't work. all i can do is sit there and cry because my brain refuses to work like it does for normal people. i have a presentation due in the last week of jan ALREADY.

my calendar makes me wanna curl up into a ball and sob. while other students in my course are fine with the course load because they didn't drop out at the end of high school because they had a complete mental breakdown and failed the year. i dropped out and completed a 2 year course in one year once my learning environment changed and improved. so i am by no means dumb or slow (like people think). i'm smart and i'm capable. i just live in a society where if you're not constantly productive you're fucking useless. and they make it a point to make sure you feel like that every singe day of your life.

#i feel like this is why people don't stick around #because eventually i'll get into a place academically that i'm so so so fucking overwhelmed by #and by the time i recover from it people are always in a different place in their lives and have no space for me #and this is what i mean by i'm always playing catch up #no matter how hard i work or how hard i try i'll never be able to catch up #and that's one of the most depressing things i've ever had to feel #that i'll always be left behind even if i'm trying my hardest #i'm so tired #i wanna drop out #i have about 3 and a half years to go #i am my family's oldest child and i'm not allowed to be sick or screwed in the head #as my parents would so kindly put it #i just want my brain to listen to me #and not have a brain of it's own #i love saying that on most days #that my brain has a brain of it's own #or that me and my brain are seperate entities #anyways #i have to be up at 6:30 am tmr #gotta go work #night yall #sorry for putting this on your dash lmao #long post #ananya's brain babies👶🏼

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