#although i think it got an early cancellation bc of course it fucking did
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*sniffle* well, that's that then. voyager has made it back to the alpha quadrant (albeit i'm not the biggest fan of the "timey whimey antics save the day" means utilized but i've seen similar plots play out far worse so i'll accept it with minimal brow furrowing), my mind & heart are full with a new sci-fi obsession, and while i know i said i'm diving into TNG asap, i do think my little ticker needs a minute to process & say goodbye to the star fleet captain who-- no matter how good picard/other captains i can't wait to meet are-- will now forever be My Captain(tm), and her intrepid crew (i'll even miss the doctor!) of the U.S.S. Voyager o7
#i've been trying to draw it out (i did a good job at slowly watching the first seasons but by the last few i couldnt resist the binge lol)#gotta also put prodigy high on the list since the grapevine tells me janeway returns#although i think it got an early cancellation bc of course it fucking did#star trek voyager#lots to think on and maybe post about but thats for later#also ive heard conflicting reports about Sevens return in picard & autostraddle may have queerbaited me but idc whats canon i know what i k#what i know and i know that everyone that far in the future is bi until proven otherwise especially our girl#☝ distinguishing romantic partners based solely on gender is an imperfect parameter for efficient seeking of suitable individuals#dani talks about tv#1 question i still need answers to: what IS the star fleet hr protocol for what happens to tom & janeway in threshold????#love how some episodes are these cosmic horror displays that never get referenced again like WHOOPS hyperevolved me & my captain#& LEFT OUR ALIEN OFFSPRING ON THE PLANET we landed on. anyway now back to whatever shenanigans tuvok is up to!#haha it was great though. season 3 alone has a lot of my favorite episodes
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Breaking in w/ Hawks, Shoto and Dabi
Request: I read another post about ppl breaking in your shared house with the boys not knowing that you are inside and hurting you and I was like well this would be interesting with their kids in the mix. So i'm here to provide you with the following request ppl breaking in and immobilizing you while you're still awake and they try to go into your kids’ room with Shoto, Hawks and maybe Dabi or Aizawa- anonymous
Oh this is a nice little concept. It's very interesting. I’m happy to deliver. I have been devastated by chapter 290, if anyone hurts Shoto imma start a riot and if Dabi doesn’t kill Endeavor i will. I’m thinking of making a double post today so this one and a kny post but we’ll see. Love ya. 💖💖💖
masterlist
rules
warning: cursing, mentions of blood, crying but fluff in the end.
Hawks/Keigo Takami
-You were waiting for Keigo to come home after a long day.
-The twins were a nightmare to put to bed today and you were exhausted.
-Both of them wanted Keigo to tuck them in for some weird reason and they just wouldn’t accept your cuddles or attempts.
-So after a tiresome two hours of trying and failing to calm them down you called your husband on facetime and they went to bed.
- “I’ll be home soon, do you want me to bring you anything?”
- “No, no just you.”
-So after taking a shower and checking on the kids you relaxed on the couch, turning on the TV while scrolling though tik tok.
-Not even half an hour later you heard jiggling coming through the door.
-Assuming it was Keigo you got up and went to greet him but who you met at the entrance of your house was a complete stranger.
-You and the two bulgars stared at each other for a solid minute before you scrambled to get to the kids’ room and lock yourself in there.
-But one of them tackled you to the floor before you could reach the pastel colored door and pinned you down, binding your hands with a cloth.
- “I thought you said he wasn’t here man? What is this?”
-They had tied your legs to a chair, putting a makeshift gag in your mouth so you wouldn’t scream as they bickered back and forth.
-Your eyes kept darting from the front door to your kids’ room.
-He said he was almost home, he should be here at any moment.
- “Just stick to the plan, she doesn’t change anything.”
- “Doesn’t change anything? You tackled the n. 2 heros’ partner and you think that nothing is gonna happen?”
-You couldn’t care less about their words as you saw the light of the baby monitor light up.
-Eyes widening, you tried to get out of your restraints to turn it off but to no avail, the soft babbles of your son could be heard coming from the device sending the whole room into an uncomfortable silence.
-Before you know it, the one that tackled you pushed his partner towards you.
- “Keep her in check while I go pay a visit to the other room.”
-Managing to get the gag out of your mouth, your eyes frantic, you tried to reason with him.
- “I’ll give you whatever you want just stay away from that door, please.”
- “The number 2 hero has plenty of money. I bet he would be willing to give a handsome amount for that brat in there. What do you say babycakes?
- “Dude you’re taking it too far-”
- “Stay away from them!”
-You realized your mistake a little too late, the new information making the man's eyes light up.
-Two cries came from the twins’ room due to the commotion and your panic rose.
-But then you saw it.
-The single feather hovering over the mans’ head, as red and vibrant as ever.
-You let out a sigh of relief as a wave of red feathers flooded your living room, cutting you free from your restraints.
-Without missing a beat you sprinted to the door, stepping inside and locking it.
-Both of them were awake and teary eyed but at the sight of you they calmed down a bit.
-Taking them out of their cribs, you sat in the far corner with both of them in your lap waiting for the moment Keigo would knock on your door.
-One would assume that being part of the hero industry, although you weren’t a full blown hero yourself, mere bulgars wouldn’t really faze you.
-In reality you hadn’t been afraid for your own life, you couldn’t care less about yourself at that moment, but when you realized that they knew about the twins everything slowly fell apart.
-After what seemed like an eternity a soft knock came from the locked door.
- “Y/N, dove, open up.”
-Raising to your feet, you almost ripped the door handle out of position in your rush.
-Once Keigo came into view you didn’t miss a beat before pressing yourself close to his chest, the twins just happy to see their dad.
- “There are my favorite Takamis!” he said kissing their heads as his wings enclosed all of you.
- “Dove they are gone, don’t worry. I’m here. We’re alright.”
-The news report the next morning said that two men were found on the top of the police department butt naked.
Todoroki Shoto
-Poor man had merely gone to get take out.
-He hadn’t been gone for that long.
-But apparently the villains had been waiting for him to leave the house so they could go in.
-You were still inside with your daughters; the twins chasing each other in their matching onesies while you sat on the living room couch with your youngest.
-You heard the front door open suddenly and at first you assumed that Shoto had forgotten his wallet again.
-But the footsteps were too heavy and his voice didn’t echo through the entrance hall.
-He always said something when he came in and his footsteps have become lighter ever since the girls were born.
-Sensing that something was off you placed your toddler in her crib and motioned towards the twins.
- “Stay with your sister and no matter what you hear you do NOT come into the hallway. Understood?”
- “But what-”
- “Rei do I make myself clear?”
-Nodding their heads they took their seats in front of the crib, Ren squeezing her hand through the bars to gently grab her sister's chubby hand.
-Taking a deep breath you entered the hallway and lo and behold, two strangers were staring back at you.
- “Can I help you gentlemen?”
-After a few seconds the one closest to the door flung himself at you while the other one started digging through his pockets.
-Swiftly dodging the attack, you grabbed his wrist and swang him with incredible force to the wall, letting go of him as you turned your attention to the other one.
-And then you felt a sharp pain course up your right leg as a heaviness settled on your chest.
-The room began to spin while the air was knocked out of your lungs.
-You kneeled down, hand over your heart as you tried to use your quirk.
-Nothing happened though; it was like you didn’t have one at all.
- “Quirk cancelling bullets, aren’t they neat?”
-The man stared down at you as ever so slowly your senses came back at you.
- “I can still beat your ass even without a quirk.”
- “I don’t think you’ll do that.”
-Angry voices could be heard from the other room before the man you had slammed into the wall appeared again, blood dripping from his nose and onto the snow white hair of your daughter.
-Ren looked at you, tears forming in her eyes as a red flash of hair jumped onto the man.
-Rei was having none of it.
-Taking that opportunity you kicked the one in front of you in the groin before separating the girls from the other, sprinting into the living room, closing the sliding doors behind you.
-Laying the girls on the couch you grabbed one of the fireplace tools and got into a fighting position.
-Soon enough the door opened revealing none other than Shoto himself.
- “Are you all alright? Did they hurt you?”
-He looked absolutely disheveled, his hair going in different directions as his gaze frantically scanned all four of you, his eyes lingering at your slightly raised leg.
-The twins hopped off the couch and tackled his legs.
-Shoto crouched down hugging them both tightly as they started to sniffle into their dad’s chest.
- “T-they hurt mama and t-tried to hurt Ren.”
-He shot you a look but you waved him off, deciding to instead check on the baby before joining them on the living room floor.
- “I won’t let them touch you ever again, even if it's the last thing I do.”
Dabi/Touya Todoroki *I ain't never letting this go*
-In reality the dudes didn’t know you were preggos.
-You were too early on so you couldn’t tell you were preggo but still.
-They knew that you had something going with Dabi and that’s why they wanted to fuck with you.
-They thought that they would gain something from trying * key word trying * to take you.
-They were wrong though because a) they got their asses kicked by you and b) they got fried once Dabi found them.
-You were chilling at Dabis’ while he was out to get you some mustard and a chocolate bar because cravings, when you heard the door open.
-Immediately you knew it wasn’t Dabi.
-You would’ve heard him grumbling under his breath about forgetting to take money with him * bc you have been pushing him to pay for stuff every once in a while* or he would be shouting at you that your disgusting meal had arrived.
-Neither of these things happened so something was up.
-Not bothering to get up because you didn’t give two fucks, you waited for whoever stepped inside the apartment to show themselves.
-You are a villain hun you ain’t about to stress over some crusty ass dude trespassing into your house because you could obliterate his ass from the face of the earth in negative five seconds.
-Whispers and a frantic “But what if he comes back?” was all you heard before the ground breaking phrase left their mouth.
- “Who cares? She’s a woman, how strong can she be anyways?”
-You were livid.
-It might have been a mix of your hormones along with the fact that that was hella sexist but you were ready to beat some crusty ass.
-Laying down on the couch and pretending to be asleep you waited for them.
-And soon enough you felt the three figures standing over you.
- “See easy as hell.”
- “And hot as hell, please don’t forget that.”
-All three of them stared down at you like that pikachu meme for a solid minute before scrambling to activate their quirks.
- “We don’t wanna hurt a pretty girl like you so please don’t cause a fuss.”
- “Oh baby you think you can hurt me? Please have you seen who I’m dating?”
-Slowly standing up you flicked your wrist and one of them dropped to the floor.
-You made your way to the kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water right when one of them ran into you, pinning you to the counter.
- “Watch it there bud I’m carrying precious carg-”
- “Shut up you fucking slut! You’ll come with us whether you like it or not.”
- “The only person who can boss me around is not currently in this room so I suggest you let go.”
- “Yeah you should probably let her go.”
-At the sound of his deep voice you knew that they were dead men.
-The one basically on top of you stared at Dabi in horror as you pushed him off of you.
-Making your way to your boyfriend you gave him a small peck while he rested a hand over you stomach as a silent ‘are you okay?’.
-Shrugging you took the bag from his hands and went into your bedroom, not caring to see what he was about to do to them.
-You were hungry anyways.
- “Now which one of you wants to be roasted first?”
TAG TEAM AY:
@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @bemorefiction @ezoyscorner
#hawks#keigo takami#dad hawks#dad keigo takami#hawks x reader#hawks x you#hawks x y/n#hawks x pregnant reader#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami x you#keigo takami x y/n#todoroki#todoroki shoto#todoroki x you#todoroki x y/n#todoroki x reader#shoto x you#shoto x y/n#shoto x reader#dad todoroki#todoroki x pregnant reader#dabi x you#dabi x y/n#dabi x reader#dad dabi#dabi#dabi bnha#dabi is a todoroki#bnha#bnha x you
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mark tuan ↠ gamer boy
neighbours au!
word count: 1815
so you had just moved into a new apartment
it’s a totally new city to you, so to say that you were excited was an understatement
the building complex was kinda old but for the location the price was a total bargain
anyways the past three days you had spent unpacking all of your belongings into your new home
luck had unfortunately not been on your side, the moving helpers you had hired cancelled on you last minute which left you to do all the heavy-duty stuff on your own
therefore on the third day of unpacking you were completely exhausted, realising all you energy had ran out for the day you decided to order takeaway for dinner and have a shower
having just finished your shower, you chuck on your fluffiest socks and pyjamas, hopping into bed whilst playing a podcast through your headphones
just as you can feel yourself drifting off to sleep you hear a voice
“WHAT THE HECK?!”
sighing you pull the duvet up over your head, turning to the other side as you try to fall asleep
however five minutes later
“GO TO THE LEFT, HE’S TO THE LEFT! BAMBAM YOU’RE SUCH A-”
“right, that is it.” you mutter to yourself
groaning you abruptly lug yourself out of bed, not even bothering to change as you exit your apartment, storming down the hallway to next door in the direction you heard the noise
you can hear the same voice from inside when you knock aggressively on the door
suddenly there’s silence
a moment later you hear the unlock of the door, in front of you standing is a tall, brown haired boy dressed in sweatpants
“hey...” he says in a soft spoken voice, gently brushing the hair away from his eyes
for a moment you practically malfunctioned at the realisation that you were standing in front of this incredibly attractive guy in your mickey mouse socks and matching pyjama’s
“um...hi,” you eventually manage to say, “do you have a younger brother or something living with you? i just moved in next door and i can’t sleep with all the shouting.”
“err, my bad that was me.” your handsome neighbour admits, awkwardly scratching the back of his head
“oh really? sorry i just assumed- well you don’t seem like the type be loud and yelling.”
“well you’d be surprised.” he replied, his hand immediately afterwards going to cover his mouth upon realising the innuendo, “oh my god, i really didn’t mean it like that.”
the mysterious neighbour relaxed when he noticed you snickering at what he had said
“i’m mark by the way.” he greets, extending his hand for you to shake
the moment you touch his hand you feel as though your stomach is doing backflips, “y/n”
“so you just moved in huh?” mark asks as he leans against the door frame
you nod, “yeah literally just the other day, i’m still moving stuff at the moment.”
“oh really, do you need some help tomorrow?” mark offers
you open your mouth to turn down his generous offer, when you remember how you have no friends in the area and you still have loads to unpack
also a cute guy helping you carry heavy stuff would be a plus
“you know what, i would love that actually” you say as mark gives a grin in response
and again with the fuzzy feeling inside of you
“awesome, well i won’t keep you up any longer than i already have. again really sorry about earlier the walls are really think here so i’ll try to keep it down”
“honestly it’s fine mark, think of you helping me as payback. goodnight” you give him a small wave as you walk back down the corridor to your apartment door, fumbling for you keys when you hear mark call out to you again
“goodnight y/n, liking the pyjamas by the way!”
and just like that you and mark clicked instantly clicked and became friends
on the day that he helped you unpack you learnt a lot about him, like how he was an avid gamer (hence the yelling from his apartment)
you even began to hang out at his place with a few of his other friends, like bambam and yugyeom
those two were both little shits but it was amusing to watch the way they’d make fun of their older friend
mostly you’d all hang out and watch tv together
“hm i don’t like her” you’d say, pointing to a character on the tv show you were watching as you chuck a piece of popcorn into you mouth. “what, how can you not like her?!” yugyeom gasps, “she’s kind of hot too.” bambam chimes in as yugyeom rolls his eyes. you just shrug in response
“well i agree with y/n. there’s something off about her i just know it.” mark says as he lifts up his hand to high five you
and to your dismay your little crush on mark developed into a much bigger one, you found that the more you got to know him the more you liked him
you didn’t really enjoy the feelings you had for them as you never thought he would reciprocate them to instead you chose to suppress them as much as you could
but little did you know mark felt just as strongly as you as you did about him
“come on bam, do me this favour man!” mark pleads, trying to persuade bambam with puppy dog eyes. “you know that won’t work on me.” bambam chuckles
“well how else am i supposed to tell her i like her?” mark groans in an exasperated tone
mark had come up with a plan, but he knew he had to be slightly intoxicated in order to have the courage to ask you out
but for his plan to work he needed an opportunity, hence him begging bambam to throw a party
eventually (after a lot of annoyance from mark), bambam agrees, bc how could he say no to party?
maybe also because he had noticed the way you would sneak glances at mark when he wasn’t looking
after receiving the invite from bambam you couldn’t wait to have some fun and let you hair down as work had been kind of hectic for you recently
so when saturday came around you made a conscious effort to dress up for the occasion, before leaving you look at yourself in the mirror and low-key check yourself out
and damn you clean up pretty well
you arrived at the party an hour or so late (as bambam had previously told you that’s the only right way to rock up to a party), but as soon as you entered the party was already pretty packed
“hey! y/n!” you heard yugyeom call out to you over the volume of the music, scanning the crowd until you spot yugyeom waving you over
“see that you’ve taken a page out of bam’s book by turning up late.” yugyeom laughs, “i got this for you” he continues, handing you one of the cups in his hands. you take a sip before shrugging and downing the whole drink
bc fuck it why not? you were there to have fun
“jeez, y/n does not play around does she?” bambam joins you two, slinging an arm over your shoulder and greeting you. before you can ask bambam nods over in the direction of the drinks table
you follow his gaze over to mark, chatting to a girl and nodding along to whatever it was she was saying
and suddenly you felt a pang of jealousy in your chest, that you quickly tried to shrug off by suggesting shots for you and the two guys you were standing with
and of course you didn’t have to tell yugyeom and bambam twice
couple of shots later (probably more than you would like to admit), and you were dancing to the beat of the music when you felt a tap on the shoulder
“hey you.” mark says, giving you a small wave. you couldn’t help but think how hot he looked as he sipped on his drink, with a pink flush across his cheeks
“hey, there gamer boy” you reply in his ear, instantly cringing at the nickname you just used
gamer boy really y/n???? you told yourself
mark just giggles in response, “i would ask you how you’re doing but i think i already know the answer. you look good tonight though.” he acknowledges with a smile as you can feel a blush creeping up your face, “thanks.” you reply, attempting to keep a cool tone
“do you want to head out for some fresh air? i don’t know if you’ve been on bam’s balcony before but the view is pretty cool.” you rapidly respond with a yes. once you do mark grabs your wrist, leading you through the party
you kind of wished he was holding your hand instead wait what-
as soon as you made it outside you saw that mark was right, it was a pretty nice view that it almost made you breathless and the cold air almost sobered you up completely. despite it being the early hours of the morning now the city below was still illuminated and full of life
mark takes one last gulp of his drink as his eyes wander to you next to him, staring at the view in awe
“i’m really glad that i was being all noisy and loud that night you know.” mark states, breaking the silence and you give him a questioning look. “although i mean if i knew such a pretty girl would be stood at my doorstep i would’ve probably dressed a bit nicer to answer the door.”
you choke on your drink as he says this, trying to cover it up by clearing your throat, “you think i am pretty?” you ask. “yeah...” he nods, awkwardly trying to avoid your gaze
“well, i think you’re pretty too.” you say, as a shy smile crosses mark’s lips. “you know, i made bam throw this part so i could have the opportunity to kiss you. can i?” he says
instead of responding you lean into the kiss and mark mirrors you, your lips connecting as you meet in the middle, immediately melting in his touch as one of his hands reaches to cup your face
on the inside your brain was going into overdrive as you couldn’t believe this was finally happening
suddenly there is a banging on the window but you are too distracted engulfed in mark’s embrace
“ew, bam! mark and y/n are kissing!” you can hear yugyeom exclaim as bambam tries to hush him, cheering you guys on, “wait you knew about this?!” yugyeom yells as bambam tries to push him away, patting him on the back “come on yugyeom, let’s leave the lovebirds alone.”
#got7#got7 drabbles#got7 fanfic#got7 imagines#got7 scenarios#got7 jaebeom#got7 mark#got7 jackson#got7 youngjae#got7 bambam#got7 yugyeom#got7forever#ahgase
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Thick and Thin (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)
Summary: Duncan’s serving his time in prison, which means conjugal visits are the only time you have to yourselves.
Word Count: 5.6k
Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), fingering, dirty talk, slight degradation, cum play, the breeding/impregnation kink jumped out whew
A/N: I’ve wanted to do a conjugal visit with Duncan fic for forever bc it’s like....really hot and finally did it and switched it up a little from what I originally had in mind so here it is ladiesss :-))))). It’s a big switch up from how I’ve been writing, but I’m still really satisfied with how it turned out! Reblogs/likes/comments are always appreciated!! Let me know what you think.
Masterlist in bio!
The bleak walls of the small conjugal apartment once frightened you; the dull, rigid structure was uninviting, to say the least. You’d thought that a white-collar prison for the wealthy might spare some expense at not making the unit feel like a Motel 6 located in the middle of nowhere, but you'd thought wrong. The box-spring under the mattress squeaked at the slightest of movements, and the sound of the dripping, grimy shower faucet could be heard at all times.
It had taken some time, weeks, for Duncan to win your trust back after blindsiding you with his illegal side-job hidden under the guise of his oh-so-glorious app. He had been sentenced to 14 months in prison for his crimes. That seemed like a long time, but it was exponentially shorter than the treason charge and life sentence that the Department of Justice was gunning for (thank god for the wealthy and their cutthroat legal teams).
After some time away from Duncan, you concluded you were ready to repair the shitshow that was your marriage, although it seemed impossible at the time. First came visits in the common area, where you spoke to him behind a glass window with a microphone, unable to even touch him or feel him in any way. Your meetings were brief; you only stayed long enough to give him a piece of your mind and then storm out of the steel-reinforced doors with a fire lit under your ass, but you still came back each day.
You realized you missed him, your husband. The bed was always cold and there was no one waiting for you at home to listen to your excessive rants about your bitchy, annoying colleagues that you hated so much. The thought of not waking up to Duncan clutching onto your waist like a koala or feeling his trademark stubble between your fingers (or your legs) ever again made your heart ache. When your anger at Duncan subsided, and after many long, clarifying conversations later, you upgraded to conjugal visits once a month. As husband and wife, you were granted two unsupervised hours to do whatever you wished in the micro-apartment, but everyone knows what conjugal visits were really for.
Now, after a handful of meet-ups with Duncan in the confines of the dingy room, and some steamy ones at that, it resembled the closest thing you two had to normalcy. Sure, the furniture was in desperate need of repair and the television looked like it came from the early 2000s, but it was all you had to work with until he was released.
//
You were perched on the stiff mattress, anxiously twirling your glimmering, oversized rock of a wedding band around your ring finger while you waited for a guard to bring Duncan to the conjugal apartment. You had to cancel on him last month because of a work conflict and you’d felt like shit ever since; Duncan tried to casually play it off like it didn’t bother him, but you knew he was so touch-starved that it for certain tore him apart inside.
Of course, you’d seen him since then during normal visiting hours, but it had now been almost two months since you’d been with him. Since you’d felt his embrace. Since you’d felt him inside of you. There was no telling if you’d be greeted by a loving, soft Duncan that would shower you with kisses and was just happy to finally touch someone other than the CO that escorted him to the rec center, or a stern, cold-faced Duncan that was ready to throw you around and punish you for leaving him unsatisfied for such a long period of time. Just the thought of Duncan’s touch, however the nature, being only minutes away already had your stomach tied in knots and a warmth buzzing in your abdomen.
Your mind wondered to your last visit with Duncan, how his voice was oozing lust and desire through the telephone mic as he told you all of the obscene things he was going to do to you when he got his hands on you again. How he was going to force his long, thick cock down your pretty, little throat and make sure you swallowed every last bead of hot cum he granted you the pleasure of tasting. How he was going to fill every hole you had with his girth; that you’d be so full of him you’d feel him lingering inside of you for days after. You were mortified that he’d said such filth out in the open, looking rapidly to your left and right to see if any of the other visitors had overheard. Your fingers wrapped impossibly tighter around the telephone cord until your knuckles were white and the muscles in your thighs kept your legs clamped shut, desperately ignoring your own desire to bust through the glass and have your own way with Duncan.
You could only hope that he’d follow through when he saw you today.
//
Duncan was thrown into the room by two tanned, beefy arms. He stumbled forward, almost tripping on the patch of frayed carpet that had been uprooted from the floor. You heard the guard huff at him, muttering something about how Duncan needed to “watch his fucking tongue,” before he got extra time. The door then promptly slammed shut, so hard that it rattled the drywall. The commotion began as quickly as it ended; you weren’t sure that it had even happened.
When Duncan gained his bearings and turned to face you, that’s when you saw it: the patch of scarlet-red, busted blood vessels and lavender-colored bruising that adorned the peak of his left cheekbone. It looked fresh, like it was still throbbing against his sculpted cheek.
“Duncan, what the fuck is that?” you demanded to know, jumping up from your place on the bed to reach out and trace the injury with the tips of your fingers.
He caught your wrist before you could get too close, using his grip to pull your body into his.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing,” he tried to play it off, flashing you a grin to distract you from the incident before yanking you forward to crash his lips onto yours.
He worked his way into your mouth, his warm tongue running along your bottom lip in an attempt to shut you up. God, had you missed him. He tasted the same as the last time you’d kissed him, as he always had ever since you’ve known him, like the cinnamon gum he loved so dearly, only the faint, cooling numbness of menthol cigarettes also danced on your taste buds. You’d have to get onto him about that later.
You pulled away, reluctantly of course, in dire need to understand how your husband had acquired a massive, fresh bruise on the side of his face.
“It’s not nothing. Who did that to you? What was that guard talking about?” You drilled, motioning once more to the mark on his cheek.
“Nobody, Y/N. Nothing. Please, let’s not talk about it right now,” Duncan pleaded.
“I missed you so much,” he continued, leaving a trail of hot, exaggerated, open-mouthed kisses along your cheek and down your neck, another obvious attempt to get you to drop your inquiries.
“I missed you too, Duncan. But seriously, what happened to your face?” Your voice was full of genuine concern, your mind buzzing with the possibilities of what had happened, who had hit him, and why in the fuck he would potentially be serving extra time per the guard that launched him into the room.
He stalled momentarily, one frustrated huff of oxygen leaving his nostrils. Duncan closed his eyes trying to keep his cool, but you knew his anger was about to bubble over. It was best to drop it, for now, you mentally noted. Gently but firmly, he gripped you by the jaw with one hand, resting his thumb on the pout of your bottom lip. You teasingly bit down on the digit, your own attempt to soothe his anger. Duncan pressed himself further into your mouth so that his thumb was laying flat against your tongue.
“I said I don't-” he began, making sure you were looking him directly in the eye as he spoke, “-want to talk about it.”
Duncan used his grip on your jaw to pull himself in towards your ear, his hot breath fanning over the dip in your collarbones as goosebumps broke through the surface of your skin. It wasn’t with malice, although there was a certain roughness in his motions that let you know he was not to be toyed with.
“Now, get back on the fucking bed and take your fucking clothes off.”
A shiver broke out down your spine, arousal running straight from your core. There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere of the room, a change in focus. You wrapped Duncan’s thumb around your lips and swirled your tongue along the knuckle, something you often did when his cock was in your mouth. Removing his finger from your mouth with a pop of your spit-slick lips and a devious grin, you were more than happy to oblige.
“Yes sir.”
You backed away slowly, climbing onto the bed and reaching for the buttons on your blouse. Duncan kept his eyes locked with yours from the foot of the bed, occasionally flickering down to watch your fingers work open the center of your shirt, revealing inch by inch of your chest to him. Each button undone sent another rush of blood to his hardening, neglected cock. He had waited too long for this. You both have.
He began stripping himself down as well, the thud of his canvas shoes hitting the linoleum of the floor in complete disregard. Before he removed his sweatpants, he reached down to stroke himself, palming away at his erection through the thick cotton at the sight of you, his wife, teasingly undressing yourself for him.
Just as your fingers fumbled for the zipper of your jeans, Duncan approached you. He crawled towards you on the bed like a predator moving in on its fragile, docile prey. You felt the mattress dip around you as he straddled your frame, his knees coming to rest around each side of your thighs.
“Let’s see how much this pretty, little pussy missed me, shall we?” Duncan posed, dipping down to playfully tug on your ear with his teeth.
He removed your pants with ease, making sure to tease you through the rough denim with a few grinds of the palm of his hand. You whined beneath him in desperation for something, anything, else. It truly had been far too long since anyone besides yourself had made you feel this way.
You were more than willing to part your legs for Duncan after he unhooked your now damp, lacey panties from your ankles, leaving your wetness on full display. Without the barrier of your underwear for protection, your arousal ran freely from your core, forming a damp spot on the comforter just underneath where you were seated. Good luck to whoever had to clean this up.
“Fucking beautiful,” Duncan murmured to himself, eyes fixated on your shining cunt. His mouth watered at the sight, at what he’d done to you without even touching your pussy beyond rubbing you over your jeans.
“Judging by the looks of it, I’d say you missed me an awful lot. Wouldn’t you?” he teased, referencing to your pussy that was glimmering with your cum, consumed by the need to be filled by Duncan’s cock.
A strangled, “Mhmm,” left your lips, your head then reaching for Duncan’s face to kiss him once more. He dodged your advances, sliding off of his place at your open legs to scoot further down the bed.
Your feet were yanked out from under you by Duncan’s large calloused hands so that you were lying flat against the bed. Duncan burrowed himself between your legs, hooking his elbows around the underside of your thighs to pull your body closer to his face.
“God, I dream about this pussy all the fucking time,” Duncan said, lust dripping in his tone.
“How fucking tight it is. How fucking good it feels. I fuck my fist to the thought of your cunt every. fucking. night.”
You mewled in your position underneath him, his words sending another bout of arousal that dribbled down your folds, surely widening the stain on the sheets.
“Is this what you think about?” he began again, gently pressing his lips to your kneecap. The look you gave in return was puzzled, but Duncan proceeded.
“When you’re all alone and I’m not there to help you?”
Another kiss to your inner thigh.
“What you fuck your fingers to at night?”
Another to the dip between your pelvis and the top of your leg.
“The thought of me-”
One just under your navel.
“-my tongue-”
One to your pubic bone.
“-between your legs?”
And finally, one smacking kiss over your aching clit.
A prolonged moan ran from your lips like honey upon the contact. Your spine arched beneath him, your hips then bucking up in attempt to meet his mouth again. Duncan was smirking into your skin. He was clearly satisfied with the effect he had on you after only the slightest of touches.
“I’ll take that as a, ‘yes,’,” he proclaimed, then dove back in to refamiliarize himself with every curve and dip of your pussy.
It was if Duncan were the match that lit the fire inside of you. Your body felt electric, pulsing every time Duncan mouthed at your folds, sucking on the outsides and releasing them with a pop. It was overwhelming, it all was. Not only the sensation of Duncan’s tongue caressing your clit with his tongue again after having to wait for so long, but being able to touch him again, feel him again, breathe in his scent again. Sometimes it felt like Duncan was never getting out, and you’d be left alone for an eternity. You were constantly having to remind yourself that he only had a few more months left and it would all be over. As long as everything went according to plan.
You couldn’t help but run your fingers through Duncan’s dirty-blonde locks as he continued to work you open with his mouth. The strands were slightly longer than the last few times you’d seen them, but they still felt the same in your grip. Just as his scruff still felt the same brushing against your inner thighs: like home.
His eyes were closed in bliss, fully immersed in drinking from your dripping cunt. He looked so beautiful, you hoped you’d never forget the image in front of you at this moment. His hot tongue darting back and forth through your folds eagerly, his lips occasionally giving your swollen clit a harsh tug. It was as if he was on a mission to make you cum as quickly as possible, and at this rate, he would succeed. But as much as you missed the feeling while Duncan had been gone, you knew he missed the action just as much, if not more.
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget how fucking good your pussy tastes,” he stated, briefly interrupting your train of thought, “No matter how long you’re away from me. Just like fucking candy.”
You instinctively ground your hips against his face, fighting for more friction against your freshly drenched core. Duncan caught wind of your yearning, raising his fingers to your cunt to begin massaging your folds, his mouth not pausing as he continued to massage your clit with his skillful tongue.
When he’d collected enough of your essence onto his index and middle digits, he slowly slid them inside of you. They glided in effortlessly, the stickiness of your slick allowing them to penetrate you with ease. He submerged them to his knuckles, so deep that you could feel the cool sting of his plain, silver wedding band brushing along the side of your ass. A gasp escaped your throat, rendering you breathless. His hands were much larger than your own, meaning he was able to reach places you were never able to during the long two months you’d been left without his touch and every other stretch of time in between visits before that.
You could feel him inside of you, softly brushing his fingers up into your spongey walls. He didn’t thrust his fingers in and out of you, however. He kept his hand still, using just his fingertips to stretch you out before he inevitably replaced them with his cock. And he never stopped using his fucking tongue, like he’d been stranded in the desert, and your pussy was the oasis that revived him.
It was slowly becoming all too much. Your thighs were beginning to tremble and your walls were clenching around his fingers, grasping for straws in your attempt to submit to desire. You began wriggling your hips, trying to fuck yourself onto his hand. Duncan didn’t stop you, he only added his ring finger into the mix, sending you further into a spiral of pleasure and even closer to your release.
“Duncan, I’m so close,” you panted, reaching out to press the back of his head even further into your heat.
And you would have, if not for Duncan ceasing his movement all together as soon as the words left your mouth. His fingers withdrew from your slit, followed by an obscene squelch that forced an even deeper blush onto your already fevered cheeks. His lips unhinged from your clit with a “pop,” and they shone in the cheap, fluorescent lighting of the room. Your body ached at the loss of touch, feeling defeated that the finish line had been right there, and Duncan had stripped it away in an instant.
“Not yet, my little pet. I want to feel you fall apart around my cock.”
Duncan propped himself up on his knees and leaned over on top of you so that his elbows were resting on either side of your head. He looked at you for a moment, his blue-green eyes boring into your soul. They were full of love, astonishment that you stayed with him even after he’d betrayed your trust so hurtfully. Full of bewilderment that you waited for him, and that you come back for him even though he knew you had hundreds of other opportunities and people that could occupy your time far better than he felt like he could.
He ducked down to press his lips to yours, not forgetting your failed attempt from earlier. You could taste yourself on his tongue, the odd, almost embarrassing flavor mixing with Ducan’s saliva as his tongue fought its way into your mouth. Duncan was right, you really were sweet.
You pulled Duncan’s face towards yours as a means to deepen the kiss, your fingers pressing hard on each side of his cheekbones. Duncan flinched into your mouth, almost accidentally nipping your tongue with his teeth as you’d completely forgotten that you were practically digging your palm into the welting bruise that covered the area.
“Sorry,” you mumbled into his mouth, your hand immediately flying off of his face and wrapping around his shoulder.
Duncan chuckled at your apology whilst his lips were still pressed against yours. A silent acceptance. His tongue slipped out of your mouth then trailed along your jaw, where he continued to slowly work his lips against your skin in the same manner.
“I love you,” you heard him mutter into your neck, “so much.”
“I love you too, but will you please just fuck me?” you gave the outgrown hair on the nape of his neck a tug, signaling for Duncan to get the show on the road. Your neglected pussy was still throbbing with want, its only desire to be stuffed full of Duncan’s length.
“Oh, kitten. I’m not gonna fuck you,” Duncan stated, although his actions suggested otherwise. He placed his muscular arm between both of your bodies, reaching for his cock.
He was unbelievably hard, the slit of his cock surrounded by tiny beads of precum that resembled minuscule pearls. A low hiss came from the back of Duncan’s throat when he wrapped his fingers around the base and aligned himself with your entrance. His cock was clearly just as needy as your cunt.
“I’m gonna destroy you.”
Duncan thrust into you with force, immediately filling you to the hilt. Pre-prison Duncan, while he could be intense at times, would have never. He enjoyed taking his time with you, watching how your mouth fell open in a silent “o” shape as he pressed into you inch by inch, taking what felt like an eternity to enter you before pulling back and starting again. This Duncan still enjoyed the teasing, the winding up, but he was rougher around the edges, more aggressive. There was an urgency in his pace like he was trying to catch up on all of the times he’d been unable to make love to you while he was away serving his time.
You let out a scream, a concoction of both pain and pleasure. Duncan was impossibly large, and your body hadn’t had time to adjust to anything other than the girth of your own fingers over the last few months, and Duncan’s up until just recently. The change in size was overbearing. It felt like he was brushing against your cervix as he began pounding into you, no regard in his movements as to how it felt as if Duncan had split you in two.
His pace was animalistic, feral. Duncan spared you no mercy as he obliterated your cunt. It felt like only seconds had passed by, and you already felt the pooling of heat in your lower belly. You became encompassed by an all-consuming heat, your body once again feeling as if it had been set on fire.
Duncan removed his grip from your waist, his hands beginning to roam around your body. A quick tug at your sides, a slow trail with his fingertips along the valley in between your breasts. He stopped to give each of your tits a hard knead with his palm, making your eyes roll back into your head.
“I can’t fucking wait to get out of here,” Duncan said he continued to annihilate your cunt.
“Gonna fill you up nice and deep. Put a baby in you. Let everyone know you’re mine.”
His head ducked below yours to take one of your breasts into his mouth. He rolled his tongue around your nipple, similar to the treatment he gave your clit earlier on. You arched into him, surprised by your own actions. You and Duncan had talked about having kids only once before, and you both decided that they weren’t something you were interested in. Surely, this was all just talk, something he was doing in the heat of the moment, but you couldn’t believe your own body was betraying you over something you were certain that you didn’t want.
“You’d look so beautiful,” Duncan mumbled against your breast, “with your stomach all swollen. And god, your tits. They’d be so huge. All for our baby. All because of me.”
His words were kindling to the wildfire burning inside of you. You couldn’t explain why, but every syllable that rolled off of his tongue spurred you further and further down the rabbit-hole. You weren’t sure how much more you could take before the band inside of you snapped and turned your limbs into jello.
“But maybe I can’t wait until then. Maybe I need to knock you up right now. So everyone knows who you belong to when I’m not around.”
You locked your legs around Duncan’s waist, the heels of your feet digging into his ass. Almost as if you wanted him to fill you with his seed and mark you up as his property.
“Do it,” you begged, “cum inside me.”
Both you and Duncan were hyper-aware that you were on the pill, and that there was no way he’d actually be able to get you pregnant, but the game you were playing enticed you both, pushed the two of you even closer to the edge. Duncan’s pace grew by tenfold, quite literally drilling his cock into your heat. He was glowing on top of your, a layer of perspiration clinging to his entire body. The light reflected off of Duncan’s sweat-coated injury, making it sparkle in a way. His brow was furrowed in concentration, engrossed in the way your cunt was practically swallowing his cock.
You were quickly falling apart, your breathing uneven, unable to do anything other than chant Duncan’s name like a fucking prayer. He was holding you as close to him as he could, his pubic bone brushing softly against your clit with each passing thrust.
“You ready for me?” Duncan asked, his own demeanor faltering ever so slightly.
A nod was all you could muster as Duncan continued his brutal assault on your pussy. You didn’t know how he was still going. It had to be a combination of pent up energy and frustration from being locked in a 10x10 every day for the better part of a year. Or maybe it was something else entirely.
“Go ahead, baby. Let everyone know who you belong to. I want to hear you fucking scream.”
You hadn’t meant to, but Duncan’s cock had hit that spot deep inside of you at the exact time your walls clenched tightly around him and you physically couldn’t stop it from happening. Your orgasm rattled throughout your entire body, your frame shaking as if an earthquake was happening inside of you. The noise that left your body was something between a mangled scream and a pornographic moan. Every single teasing touch and second you’d spent away from Duncan had led up to this, and it was worth it.
“Fuck,” Duncan growled, feeling every single contraction and twitch as he continued to pound you throughout your release.
Duncan soon followed suit, a guttural groan coming from deep in his chest as he gave himself over to pleasure once your cunt had milked him for all that it was worth. His seed shot deep inside of you, coating your walls with warmth. The sensation sent another bout of arousal coursing throughout you, but you knew following it was a lost cause. Duncan took a moment to look at the mess he’d made of you. There was a wet, squelching sound as Duncan severed his body from yours, followed by strings of cum that overflowed from your entrance, a mixture of both yours and his. For his own amusement, Duncan gathered the leakage on two of his fingers and playfully shoved them back into your core, a half-hearted chuckle escaping his throat. He’d always been very particular about where his cum ended up, making sure you took it one way or another every single time, whether it was in your mouth or in your cunt.
Duncan collapsed beside you, swinging you on top of him in one quick, skillful movement. He held you tightly against his bare chest, his arm pressing into the space in between your shoulder blades to keep you from moving. As if you ever would. His other arm took your left hand in his and raised it to his lips, gently kissing the large diamond nestled in between the smaller stones of your wedding ring. You wrapped your free hand around his torso, nuzzling the side of your head into the crook of his neck. It was customary in the Shepherd household to share a cuddle post-coitus, and not even the fact that you were lying in the conjugal room of a prison could affect the long-standing tradition.
The silence between the two of you was comfortable, but you felt Duncan’s rigidness. His muscles were strained, his eyes fixated on the ceiling in contemplation. You weren’t sure if it was a good idea to ask him about it, seeing as the last time you questioned him things didn’t go over so well.
“Are you happy?” he spoke up suddenly, never breaking his stare from the ceiling.
“What do you mean?” you pressed a small kiss to his collarbone rather than turning your face up to look at him, your reassurance that you were listening.
“If you weren’t happy, you’d tell me right? You wouldn’t keep coming out here even though there’s plenty of other shit you could be doing?” There was genuine concern laced in his voice. And maybe even fear.
“Of course I’m happy, Dunc. Why would you think that I’m not?”
“I just feel like I’m useless in here. I can’t do anything. Fuck, I can’t even kiss you more than once a month. You deserve someone that takes care of you. I can’t do that when I’m locked in a cell all fucking day. I want you to be happy, so you don’t have to keep doing this if you’re not happy.”
His self-depreciating monologue sent you straight up from Duncan’s chest. You looked him dead in the eyes, making sure you had his full attention before you spoke.
“Duncan Shepherd, for starters, you are not useless. I am certain that you don’t need a recap of what just happened for you to know that useless is the last word I would use to describe you. And I married you. Didn’t I? I said my vows and I meant them. I still do. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, through thick and thin, til death do us part. This is just the thick of it. It’ll all be over soon and we can put it behind us. We can start over. But don’t for a second think that you are useless. Okay?”
Duncan nodded in return for fear that he might stutter if he made any attempt to respond with words. He’d spent the better half of his sentence wondering if you even cared about him anymore, about your marriage. Your profession squashed his anxieties and caused his heart to swoon. There was definitely no way he deserved you, he though. He was silently thanking the stars that you loved him enough to stay with him throughout this dark period of his life.
“I love you,” he said in an exhale of breath, pulling you once more back into his naked chest. He turned his head down to press his lips to your damp forehead, where wild strands of hair were stuck in place. You were still covered in sweat, a reminder of the previous events that took place, but that was the furthest thing from his mind.
“Love you too. Now can it be my turn to ask you something?” you toyed, fingers tracing patterns on his toned chest.
“Go for it, love.”
“What was with all of that baby talk? Don’t get me wrong, I was clearly into it, but I thought we didn’t want kids?” your neck was craned upward to gauge his reaction.
Duncan’s face flushed an embarrassing shade of pink. He ran his hand along his stubble as if he was trying to hide the blush from you.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I guess I didn’t mean it, but I kinda did? Being in here has given me a lot of time to think about shit. I don’t want to leave this world with nothing to show for it. So, if you ever change your mind about kids, I’m down, I guess.”
He was fully blushing now, his face beat red at the confession. You knew he was playing it off like he didn’t care as much as he actually did, because he was Duncan Shepherd, and Duncan Shepherd is not known for being as big of a softie as he was being right now.
You nodded sarcastically, trying not to laugh at how fucking adorable Duncan sounded babbling on about having chubby little babies with you, the love of his life. Just as he was yours.
“We’ll have to see about that,” you affirmed to him, “But let’s worry about getting you out of here first.”
A hard knock on the door of the conjugal apartment cut your conversation short, signaling that you had only five more minutes until your time together ended. You sighed in unison, both silently cursing to yourself that it always felt like being in a time warp when you were together. It was never easy to leave one another, knowing that it would be an entire month before you’d be able to be with each other again. Duncan begrudgingly slid off the bed, placing you off to the side while he reached for his discarded shirt and sweats that had littered the ground.
When you finished dressing, you turned to Duncan with one last question.
“Hey Duncan?”
“Yeah?” he called out, slipping on his shoes in the armchair in the corner of the room.
“Before you go, will you please tell me how you got that massive bruise by your eye?”
Just as Duncan opened his mouth to finally tell you how he’d acquired his lovely shiner, there was another pounding on the door. Your time was officially up.
Duncan chuckled at the irony. His initial anger from the start of your visit had subsided and he was actually going to tell you this time, but fate had other plans. You threw your hands up in defeat.
“It’s a long story,” he began, “for another time. But I will tell you one thing.”
“What?” you questioned as he made his way towards the door to leave, twisting the knob with his sizeable fingers.
“You should see the other guy.”
He gave you a playful wriggle of his brows before walking through the threshold of the door, where the same guard that threw him in was waiting to escort him back to his cell.
//
Tagging:
@avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @venusxxlangdon @aveiangdon @belusima @ccodyfern @readsalot73 @americanhorrorstudies @wroteclassicaly @gold-dragon-slayer @langdonsdemon @langdonshell @1-800-bitchcraft @rocketgirl2410 @hecohansen31
#duncan shepherd smut#duncan shepherd x reader#duncan shepherd#hoc#michael langdon x reader#ahs#my writing#mine
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2020.....
Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.
But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books.
2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.
Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...
A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame.
So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how??
30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.
A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents.
Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out.
Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating.
America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day.
I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained.
THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.
That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously.
Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....
Tdot, out.
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Smirking Idiot (Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader)
A/N: So, I just wrote this up whilst taking a break from applying for jobs and having interviews bc apparently that's what happens when you leave university. Although I have no clue what I want to do, making money is something.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Fandom: MCU/Marvel
Prompts: “You look like hell.” - “What are you doing here?” - Non-Avengers AU
Warnings: Hella amounts of swearwords - arguments???
Word count: 1950ish
I want to hopefully write more shit like this to just gain confidence and get better so hope you all enjoy xoxo
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Getting home from work on a Friday evening was supposed to be the best feeling, yet you still felt like shit. Mainly because your plans for tonight had been cancelled only hours before. You felt frustrated, another night with a bottle of wine, and watching trash TV with your roommate... hopefully.
“Hey hun, you good?” Wanda asked once you threw your bag down and kicked your heels off,
You pulled a face at her and shook your head, “Honestly, want to cuddle up on the couch and drink a bottle of wine, have a tub of Ben and Jerrys, and maybe, just maybe, fall asleep there and worry about being wine hungover tomorrow along with a bad back”
“Wow, looks like you’ve got all your plans sorted out. Did you do a BuzzFeed quiz to decide what your plans are for a Friday night?” She asked laughed,
You snorted at that, “May as well have that’s how last minute it is” you walked across to your room whilst talking to her, but left the door open just so you could hear here. You’d changed in front of her a hundred times before so now wouldn’t make any difference,
“What happened to date night? Thought you and Bucky were going out, and then probably back to his place?” She asked coming to stand in your doorway,
You had already stripped down to your underwear and grabbed an oversized top to throw on before putting on some shorts,
“So did I” You grumbled, “But he’s tied up in work. Got a lot to sort out at the gym, and I just don’t care at the moment. Well clearly I do, he fucking bailed on me like an hour ago, I now need to cancel the fucking reservation, and I was so excited to eat there as well. It literally got me through the whole day” You wanted to rant and rave because it seemed like Bucky forgot who you were.
“Have you spoken to him since?” She asked,
You shook your head, “Nope. I’ll talk to him later. When I’m not as pissed I guess, but how about you? What are your plans?” you asked walking out of your room and towards the kitchen, you were feeling a sandwich right about now,
“Welll....” She dragged out, “I invited Vis over”
I looked across at her over the fridge door and smirked slightly, “So, either I be a cock block, or a good girl and sit in my room, ensuring I have my earphones in. And making sure I have everything I need so I don’t need to leave my room, and if I do need to leave, well I’ve got a fire escape I’m sure I can figure it out.”
“Without me sounding like a terrible friend, preferably the latter?”
You couldn’t help but snort at that, a smile still on your face though, “Sure babycakes. What time is he getting here?” You asked,
“About half 7ish” She said looking up at the clock
You looked up at the clock groaning at how late you realised it was, it was half 6, and you could tell the evening was going to drag.
“I might just go bed after eating this” You decided,
Before half 7 came around the two of you watched a bit of TV and caught up for a while before you went back to your room. You did feel a little disappointed at how abruptly your plans got cancelled, you got a text from Nat asking if you were ok because Wanda told her you were feeling a bit shit, you were fine and she offered to take you out after her shift ended or if you wanted to join her at work. You declined knowing that her bar wasn’t going to close till late and sitting alone at a bar would probably feel worse than being at home would be. What you also found frustrating was that the two of you had been together for nearly three years, yet at the moment it felt like your relationship was going nowhere.
You two had talked about moving in together but it never felt like the right time, with you working your way up at work, recently becoming a team leader, and with him opening his own boxing gym you were both constantly busy. You took time out for one another but lately, it had become less and less. You sometimes complained about it to the girls, but then felt bad because they’re friends as well, both you and Nat became friends with Bucky at the same time. But then at the same time when you two were together, things were perfect. Better than perfect. You trusted Bucky with anything and everything, he was, is, your best friend. But that just makes feeling the way you do now worse because you’re pissed with him.
You ended up falling asleep quicker than expected, hating that you don’t even fall asleep that early on work nights.
**
Getting woken up by someone knocking on your window rather than your door was enough to put anyone in a bad mood, as well as scaring the shit out of them.
You glared at the window, grabbing the baseball bat from next to your bedside table. The sun was only just rising, and who the fuck would be knocking on your window at this time,
You pushed your curtains to the side, one hand holding the bat ready to swing, your left hand pulling at the curtain.
Crouched down looking around was your dear boyfriend. The one you’re extremely pissed off with. You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him waiting for him to realise that he had in fact woken you up,
He rose his hands again ready to knock on the window but paused when he saw you stood there.
He had a sheepish smile on his face and motioned towards the window for you to open it up,
You huffed and rolled your eyes but opened the window, “What are you doing here?” You bit out,
“To see how you are... how everything’s been?”
“Everything is fucking splendid thanks for asking. How’s work? Isn’t the place caving in without you?” You couldn’t help but ask,
He opened his mouth ready to say something but sighed, “Can I come in, or you going to make me sit in the cold?”
You pretended to think about it for a minute, before motioning your head for him to come in, “I’m still pissed at you”
“Really sugar, I hadn’t noticed”
“No, no pet names James,” You said putting emphasis on his name, but he just stared at you with an amused smirk, “Also, do you hate me that much that you had to come here at, what time is it, what the fuck, 4am? Really?”
He just shrugged at that and threw himself on your bed, still staring at you with that same smirk, you hated it. That’s a lie you fucking loved it, he just got under your skin, the way he did before the two of you got together. But right now you hated it because he knew he was getting under your skin, he knew that you were pissed at him, but he also knew that you would probably forgive him soon enough,
“Really really” He replied back, “Nothing wrong with wanting to see my girl right?” He asked,
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and throw your arms up in the air, “You are so annoying. Wow! What about when I want to see you huh? What about when ‘I want to see my man’ I can’t even go on a date with you at the moment, everything is work, work, work. Then we all go out, but its more about a drink with the boys and then you cancel on me an hour before I have to leave work. I then had to cancel our reservation. Do you know how much I was looking forward to eating a good fucking steak and dessert! But no, because we only see each other when it suits you, and then, then I was in bed for half 7, how early is that, and I was asleep before 9. What the fuck is up with that! Because I was pissed and upset, and annoyed. And now you woke me up early which is even worse. But I just...”
During your rant he sat up a bit straighter, sometimes you wondered whether he even listens to what you have to say.
“I’m sorry sweetheart. I was just busy with work. I wanted to see you as well ya know, why do you think I’m here”
You just stood there your arms still crossed against your chest, “I don’t know. To annoy me some more”
“Of course sugar. Cause’ that’s my life aim, to constantly try and annoy you” He said raising his eyebrows at you,
“Bucky” You groaned, sitting beside him,
“Y/N” He groaned back, “You know I prefer when you say my name like that when we’re in bed. Not when you’re trying to start an argument with a baseball bat in your hands” He said reaching over to grab the bat from your hands, instead your jaw just dropped as you stared at him,
“Trying, trying to start an argument. How am I trying to start an argument? You started it when you bailed on us last night for your precious work!”
“I know, and I said I’m sorry. I mean... how about I make it up to you. We’ll go for breakfast together. Grab some nice food. My treat. We’ll have date night tomorrow night as well. The gyms closed on Saturday nights anyway”
“It’s going to take more than just breakfast to make it up to me Bucky” You mumbled feeling defeated,
“I know sweetheart. But I gotta start somewhere right” He asked putting his arms around you and kissing your shoulder,
“Starting by waking me up at 4am is not the best way to start” You reminded him,
He just chuckled against your shoulder at that, “Yeah, after finishing up at the gym about half 2, I went home, showered then went for a run and somehow ended up here”
You spun your head around to face him, another glare set on your face, “James Buchanan Barnes. Have you not slept?” You asked sounding more like a mother than a girlfriend,
He just grimaced at you, “I have a reasonable excuse”
“Uh huh, what’s that?” you asked,
“I mean, I pissed off my girl last night. And I wanted to make sure she’s good, ya know what I’m sayin’”
You shoved his shoulder, “I hate you, why do you make me feel bad?”
“How’d I make you feel bad?” He asked, his smirk back on his face, “Because of all the shoutin’ you done at me despite not having slept in over 24 hours”
“Yes James! Exactly why, but this explains why you look like hell”
“You still love me though Sugar.”
“Mhmm, I do still love you, but no more bailing on me”
“I’ll pinky promise it” He mumbled sticking out his pinky finger, you chuckled and intertwined your pinky with his.
“Now lay down, you need to get some sleep before we go out for brunch” You told him pushing him onto your bed. He took you down with him and you ended up with your head on his chest, and your legs intertwined.
“Love you” He mumbled,
“Love you too” You replied back smiling a little to yourself as the two of you drifted off to sleep.
A/N: So, I want to write up a Bucky x Reader Fic, but like I just, I want to make sure it’s perfect. Like planning the storyline and everything like that. I just want to push this blog farrr because I’m enjoying sharing my writing.
But any feedback will be greatly appreciated xoxo
#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#james buchanan barnes#James Barnes#Bucky Imagine#The Winter Solider x Reader#Bucky Barnes Imagine#Bucky Barnes Fic#Bucky Barnes One Shot#Bucky One Shot#Bucky Barnes Drabble#MCU#marvel cinematic universe
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alright hoes now that i’m done with chinese class for the rest of my life after finishing the AP test i am here to spill some wisdom and shit that you should and should not do for the AP chinese test. don’t be an idiot like i was with these (probably) helpful tips:
- if you have a choice, please take the corresponding AP class. this goes for almost all APs, but they basically train you and give you everything you need to know. plus for my school many of the AP teachers were the ones grading the tests so you know first-hand how to get a 5. you’re going to be much more familiar with how the test works and how to score well on each section. i didn’t take AP chinese and i just walked in there like a dumbass hoping that shit would turn out right and shit did not turn out right let me tell you that
- practice your ass off, especially with speaking. preferably with other people. most likely, you’re going to freeze and/or repeat the same phrase over and over again if you don’t practice. get a list of oral questions and time yourself to make sure you answer them in the time period. recite them in front of someone who can speak the language. walk into a room and bust out your responses. scream them into the void. do what you need to do to familiarize yourself with talking in front of a screen in a room with twenty other people answering the same question.
- i think this goes for other languages as well, but find a way to expand your knowledge of culture for the two minute cultural presentation. they will literally pull any topic out of their asses and expect you to talk about it for two minutes. this shouldn’t be a problem if you are taking the AP class as they make you practice this shit throughout the entire school year. what i did was kinda dumb but i somehow found a list of topics and i printed out the articles and just memorized them. like i could recite to you the story of chinese new years right now. it’s inefficient but i had a whole year beforehand to study. however, if you’re short on time, here are the most frequent topics the AP chinese test will ask you to talk about:
~ chinese new years (年)
~ 粽子／赛龙舟／屈原 / the guy who committed suicide bc the king kicked him out and they threw rice into the river so that the fish wouldn’t eat his corpse
~ 中秋节／后羿／嫦娥／mooncake festival
~ actually all the holidays just memorize those
~ dragons. i shit you not you can connect this one to anything. “describe chinese paintings” they painted a fuck ton of dragons “share your understanding of the coexistence of man and nature” they liked dragons “talk about traditional chinese architecture” they carved dragons on shit
~ tea (same as above)
~ beijing. there will be at least one question about beijing. look up the wikipedia page and memorize that shit.
~ any random chinese philosophy. i used “三人行 必有我师” then if they ask you a question about an ancient chinese figure you can pull that shit out
~ 黄山 bc you need a nature thing in case it shows up
- expand your vocabulary. there will be questions where you don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. one word could make or break your answer. quizlet is great for this kind of shit; if you have time you can watch dramas/movies or read books (listening to music doesn’t help me unless i search up the meaning of the lyrics)
- grammar. grammar is important otherwise your entire sentence will get fucked over. as i have a decent sense of grammar i can’t recommend much but textbooks always help you get a better understanding (obvious i know)
- if you’ve got spare time, memorize some idioms. they make your writing/speaking look more fluent and like you know what you’re doing. make sure you also know how to use them and integrate them into writing or else it’ll be obvious you just memorized them to look good. here’s a good list (although tbh i haven’t heard of most of them lmao)
- self-studying, or studying with no one around who speaks the language, is a pain. you also probably won’t be able to sound out words you don’t know (google translate sucks shit, i tried) possibly find a friend who speaks the language or look for a tutor to help you. shit will flow much smoother. (another obvious one sdkjkdfk)
- confirm that you can actually write an entire story/email response in 15 minutes. i forgot to do this and panicked and i finished writing like 3 seconds before the timer was up (which meant no time for proofreading). my friend was in the middle of adding a sentence when she got cut off. pace yourself, time flies faster than it looks in the testing room
- the collegeboard website actually has a ton of useful stuff; you can find the rubric (which hasn’t changed much since 2016), examples of past students’ responses and how they scored, free response questions in pdf form, etc.
and finally, don’t be discouraged! almost 80% of all AP test takers get at least a 4, just don’t panic and remember to memorize your shit correctly. proofread when you can, don’t use a word if you don’t know what it means, and it’s better to type/say something than leave it blank (according to my friend you can get a 2 just for repeating the question, idk how true this is). if you’re preparing to take the test, keep studying. don’t give up. learning a new language takes time and effort. you’ll be fine.
and if you didn’t do well, don’t kick yourself. if you are early enough (before june 15 of the year you took the test i think) you can cancel it and no one will know. and if you’re still worried that colleges will look at your score negatively, it’s better to have shown that you attempted a college-level course and are familiar with it, especially if you yourself are not chinese (ik this is a touchy subject but there is some harsh truth behind it). so don’t panic abt the test. it’s just a test, you’ve taken many tests in your life.
if y’all have more questions you can ask (but i don’t think i’m the best resource fkjjfdasjn) and i hope you learned something from this mediocre list lmao good luck and keep studying!!!
- snow
#this was my first masterpost and it probably sucks shit but i tried#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#masterpost#my masterpost#tips#strategies & tips#ap chinese#ap testing#advanced placement#chinese#chinese language#langblr#languages#chinese langblr#chinese tips#中文#learn chinese#studyblr#studyspo#mine#my own shit
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Stress Eating
Request: an angsty scenario in which jungkook is feeling stressed bc of their busy schedule and starts stress eating and gains weight pretty fast and the fans start commenting mean stuff abt him which makes him feel like he has disappointed the fans?? thank u!!
A/n: I saw your request last night and was super pumped to write it, although I hate the thought of a sad kookie, everybody has their times and I’m sure he does too :’( without further a do, here’s the angst jungkook scenario I’ve prepared for you! - Amelia
Genre: Angst
Members: Jungkook
Word Count: 2384
Masterlist
“Hyung, can you pass me another donut?” Jungkook whined. The palms of his hands were placed in front of Jin, with his fingers wiggling in anticipation.
Jin looked up from the box with a look of ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ “Jungkook, you’ve had five.”
“I know but I’ll work them off tomorrow at practice.” He reasoned. Jin, believing whole heartily in the Maknae’s words (because Jungkook usually keeps his word), gave Jungkook another donut.
“If our manager knew I just gave that to you, he’d kill both of us.” Jimin chuckled from across the room. “He’d kill us all if he knew any of us had even one…”
“True…” Taehyung nodded after hearing Jimin’s statement. “…at least we’d be dying with our bellies full of white powdered goodness.” Laughter erupted from the group of boys as they talked through the night. They discussed the upcoming stage and new album, everything from incomplete lyrics to the hardest dance move. None of them seemed to notice Jungkook’s growing appetite… Because after all, he had just turned 20, he’s a growing boy?
The next day practice was cancelled, something came up and a few members had other things added to their schedules. Jungkook stayed in the dorm alone, his anime buddy (Taehyung) was busy with drama promotion. He binge watched another sports anime by his lonesome, while snacking on whatever was in the cupboard.
He wasn’t allowed to go to the gym. Although he loved working out, according to society, building any more muscle than he had was repulsive; thus he could not work out. His free time was very limited to begin with, sometimes going out was a hassle. He loved his fans but sometimes he wanted to go out without having to wear a mask. He loved his life and career but he hated the restrictions that were placed upon him. Most days he tried to look on the bright side of things, but these days his worries were increased.
With their rise in popularity, he had more people to please. There was more expected of him. Everything he had before had inflated. The feelings that swirled inside him were on a new high. Everything he felt, he felt it to the max. Everything he did, didn’t feel just right.
Every practice, he felt sluggish. He wasn’t doing as exceptionally well as he had before. He was still doing ok but he knew he could do better. When the day of their comeback stage arrived, he wasn’t satisfied with himself.
He picked up another soda cracker, and then another and another until Jimin looked down at the plate and gasped. “Jungkook-ah! You’ve eaten almost an entire sleeve of crackers! We just had lunch. Where is all that going?!” He jokingly patted the Maknae’s stomach then his expression changed from his chimchiminy smile to subtle look of shock. Jimin removed his hand from Jungkook’s shirt. A tender smile replaced his shock.
“Jungkook. When did your stomach get that big!?”
“What?” Jungkook acted confused, embarrassed by the change from his muscle tissue to soft squish.
“Aish, Jungkookie is so cute! Are you reversing in age?!”
Jungkook tried to laugh sincerely, but he was afraid of this… That someone would notice his sudden weight gain over the past month. The guys were with him all the time, so they wouldn’t pick up on his change in appearance that fast… But he didn’t know what the fans would think. His biggest concern with the performance was how his body moved with the new choreo. Dancing wasn’t the same for him, he was nervous that it would show.
He grabbed another cracker from the tray with elegance, holding it in his hand like it was a delicacy. He bit off one of the corners hoping that if he ate the cracker slow it would last him until the moment before they needed to appear on stage. That wasn’t the case though and he consumed 3 more crackers after that one (finishing off the sleeve) each with the same excruciatingly slow pace.
Just before the group finally hit the stage, Jungkook took a big swig of a fountain soda and rushed to his place. He hadn’t felt this nervous since their debut stage. Maybe he felt more nervous since he was extremely self-conscious in ways that he wasn’t before. He felt like throwing up, soda and soda crackers didn’t always agree with each other. Jungkook knew that subconsciously but didn’t give a damn about his stomach. All he cared about was completing the stage with a satisfied audience.
When the lights hit his figure, he visibly cringed. The darkness right before the music blasted was the most pleasant experience of the day. He had the time to collect himself. Once he heard the crowds cheers he lost his composure, displeasure was written all over his face and the fans definitely saw. He couldn’t help it, he felt sick. He wanted to throw up but of course if he did that there would be so many complications. He held the queasy feeling inside of him, a sweat broke out faster than usual and he looked like a mess.
When they were reviewing the stage on their phones Jungkook looked over Yoongi’s shoulder at the image of himself on Yoongi’s screen.
His close up came on and he looked worse than he thought. His hair was dishevelled and his skin was extremely shiny. Whenever a light hit him he illuminated from the sweat. His tight leather pants showed the size change in his thighs and his baggy shirt wasn’t giving off the illusion of toned abs. Yoongi scrolled through the comments after the video ended. His lips had been pursed. He didn’t bother to utter a word of advice or criticism throughout the whole video.
Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung were still reviewing the performance on Jimin’s phone. Jin was off eating food in the corner, and Namjoon was probably somewhere doing something important.
“Good job today.” Was the only thing Yoongi said to Jungkook as he got up and walked away. He values his Hyungs’ opinion more than anything, and he could tell that Yoongi didn’t mean what he said.
Jungkook remained in the same place. Frozen. He has disappointed the Hyungs. He most likely disappointed the fans. Yoongi had scrolled too fast through the comments, and from his angle he couldn’t read any of them. But from Yoongi’s salty reaction, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what they said.
Jin called him over, snatching him away from his thoughts.
“Jungkook! Come here! I’ve got something I think you’ll like!” Jungkook spent the rest of the time eating with Jin and trying to keep an upbeat attitude which he failed at miserably. Jin tried to compliment Jungkook, he tried to joke with him and make him feel better but nothing worked. So that night Jin had a talk with the other members. Operation: resurrect Jeon Jungkook.
The next day the dorm was empty. All that was on Jungkook’s schedule was dance practice. They had to promote their first single this week but they also needed to practice for the next one that would be coming shortly. Namjoon texted him, saying that the dance practice for the next single was moved up an hour ahead of schedule. He spent the morning reviewing yesterday’s comeback stage and actually going through the comments. After such a ‘bright’ start to his day, he drug himself out of the dorm to the studio.
The dance studio was practically empty… Even though he was a few minutes late. Namjoon sat in the corner on a stool that he acquired from another room. Each step he took toward his senior was heavier than the last. What was going on? Usually when Jungkook got to the studio, Hoseok was waiting. Hobi always showed up first… Namjoon was one of the people he didn’t expect he’d be greeted with.
“Hey, how was your morning?” Namjoon asked, smiling at him once he put his phone back in his pocket.
“It was ok. …but Hyung, where is everybody else?”
“I told you to come early. I had something I wanted to talk to you about.” What does he want to talk about? A million little things ran through his head (mainly little things from yesterday), and Namjoon sensed this because next he said “It’s nothing bad.” Jungkook sighed in relief before taking a seat on the floor. Namjoon got off his stool and sat cross legged in front of him.
“You’ve seemed off for 2 months. I just want to make sure everything’s alright. I never said anything before because I wasn’t sure of the problem myself. But this has been going on long enough. I think it’s time we deal with this.”
“Deal with what? I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” He tried to act confused but he really felt trapped, caught.
“Jungkook. Almost every time I see you, you’re eating. And if you’re not eating, you have this horrible look on your face.”
“No I don’t. Since when have you been thinking that?”
“I told you, it’s been around 2 months.”
��Well, I don’t do that. I have no reason too.”
“Jungkook. I know it’s hard to admit but if you don’t talk about what’s going on we can’t help you.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. All of the members are extremely worried about you, but none of them know where to begin. So I thought I’d try talking to you today.” Namjoon leaned back on his arms, stretching himself out before continuing.
“It seems that my approach isn’t working either. Jungkook, I need you to think about why your appetite has increased. You can’t deny that fact. We all see it.”
“Fine Hyung. If you really want to know that I’ve noticed it too, then fine. I just eat unconsciously. If I’m not doing something, I go look for food.” He snapped. His face became red, and his eyes were fogging up. He placed his head in his hands and kept going. “…And I feel so sick and gross. I just.. I don’t know what to do…” Namjoon was silent, he nodded his head acknowledging the words the Maknae said.
“It’s like I can’t breathe anymore. Everything I see makes me uncomfortable. I’m always reminded of things that I don’t want to think about… They’re just too hard to think about.”
“What’s too hard to think about? I’ll think about them for you… I’ll help you, ok? All of us love you, we’ll help you through anything.” Jungkook didn’t answer; he couldn’t answer so he stared at the scuffed floor.
“If you don’t want to say them, that’s ok. Since you don’t want to think about them, I understand if you just want to become more comfortable with the idea of sharing.” Jungkook’s heart was racing a mile a minute. He thought about telling Namjoon for a moment. He thought about pouring his feeble concerns onto their leader and releasing all of his pent up emotions. But he couldn’t let them go yet.
His worries were deeply rooted inside himself; they’d become a part of him. He wasn’t sure how to disconnect the roots from the tree without killing the tree. Because isn’t that impossible? Is there a way to maintain them? Jungkook didn’t know. All he knew was that he’d never forget the feeling these fears instilled in him. He’d live with the memory of them forever.
“Hyung. I’m scared.” They weren’t just fears he could forget about. They could be applied to many situations, and he was sure he would experience some of them again. He didn’t look up. He couldn’t bear to see the concern on Namjoon’s face which was so apparent in his voice.
Am I to ugly? Am I the reason the others are having a hard time? Did I do something wrong? Will we split up? Am I no longer good enough? Have I lost my charm? Do the fans no longer like me? Am I bringing the group down? Will I be ok? How much longer will I feel this way?
Every single comment on their comeback stage was either, ‘wow nice choreo fatasses’ or ‘I like the song but… The performance wasn’t that great…’. There were a few straightforward ones like ‘what happened to Jungkook?’
It became harder and harder to break the silence in the room. He knew if he looked at Namjoon he would break apart. All of his worries would spill out; he would be too embarrassed to look at him after too. Could he ever look at his team again?
“I think you’ve graduated from the Golden Maknae.” He heard Jimin say. The sound of shoes scraping on the floor next, then door to the studio creaked shut.
“You’re like the Platinum Maknae now.” Hoseok tried to joke as he sat down beside Jungkook.
All the other members followed, sitting down on the floor beside Jungkook.
“Jungkook.” Yoongi was next to speak. “I meant what I said yesterday. You did a good job. Regardless of the pain you were in, you did the best performance you could.”
“Jungkookie, no matter who you become one day or who you’re becoming right now… Our armies will remember the Jungkook who did his best.” Jin chimed, trying to pick up the atmosphere.
“Jungkook. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I wish I had more time to spend with you, but as you know we can’t make up our own schedules. If we could, I’d have Jungkook time every day.” Taehyungs voice was solemn. His head hung low as he spoke, Jimin patted his shoulder and took over for him.
“We all want the best for you. So if you have worries you’re allowed to burden us with them.” Jungkook finally looked up, his eyes full of tears.
“I’m sorry for making you worry,” he sniffled before finishing, “You’re the best Hyungs I could ask for.”
Hoseok grabbed onto Jungkook enveloping him in a huge hug. He felt Hoseok’s tears stain his shirt sleeve and then he felt more weight added on top of him. Soon the whole group was in a pile on the floor, laughing and crying rolling around in a fit of giggles.
#bts#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts smut#bts angst#bts v#taehyung#yoongi#suga#jimin#jungkook#seokjin#jin#rapmonster#namjoon#jhope#hoseok#bangtan#bts reactions#bts fan fic
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