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#also this brush from true grit is my new favorite
piaart · 3 months
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Special is messing with the shelves again!!
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datura-tea · 3 months
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holy shit this year marks 10 years of this blog and moz!! i can't remember the exact date i started posting here - my archive says i have one post from november 2013 but let's disregard that - but i do remember it was around late 2014/early 2015 :)
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^ one of the very first moz art pieces i ever drew, for fallout week 2015!!
memories and art through the years under a read more bc it got long
2014 → baby's first rpg!! i started playing fnv on my cousin's jailbroken xbox late 2013 and finished mid 2014 and i loved every minute of it. i remember waking up at 8am and playing almost nonstop until 2am the next day haha!
i didn't play moz on my first playthrough - but i did start creating a character that would eventually become her: a shorthaired ex-boxer who punched her way through obstacles when diplomacy failed. i remember she spent a lot of time with boone. i liked him then, because he saved my ass more times than i can count. but i digress. this is draft 1 moz essentially
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2015 → this is the year that i was doing my thesis so i could graduate but i was so depressed and stressed about it that i distracted myself by replaying fnv on pc, where i played through the dlcs for the first time. i fell in love with the dlcs' oversarching story; particularly ulysses, who i became obssessed with, especially since i couldn't find any content of him at the time. in the game, i played as moz; i had most of her personality and choices down, but her backstory was still up in the air.
fun fact: this was an existing sideblog that i remade to be a fallout blog so i could look for ulysses content, and when i couldn't find any, i made some myself, featuring moz as my main courier six. originally, i didn't ship them, but eventually i ended the year as a courier/ulysses otp shipper.
this was the year i started drawing digitally - my uncle let me borrow a drawing tablet and i used an old copy of photoshop i pirated hehe
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2016 → i graduated this year!! and promptly fell deeper into my depression. this was the year that it got so bad that i had to be medicated. through it all, this blog and moz and ulysses and my fandom friends were with me. and for that i am truly grateful :) this was the year i figured out how to lock transparent pixels so that i could color my lineart lol
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2017 → i started hammering out moz's backstory this year i think. there's a lot of sketches of her and her family in my files. i experimented with shading and backgrounds here but that experimentation was pretty short-lived
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2018 → i started using references seriously!!!! i did a lot of oc on oc kissing this year, featuring mostly moz and many friend ocs haha
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2019 → didn't draw much this year. actually this year was a blur and i can't remember much from it except from it being the year of my terrible no good bad copywriting jobs... anyway i did manage to continue my courier/ulysses brainrot and make this piece, which i'm still proud of
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2020 → pandemic time. i spent a lot of time asleep at home and i think this was also the year i started doing commissions?? shoutout to anyone who has ever commissioned me - thank you so much, i truly appreciate it!!
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2021 → i switched from my old-ass pirated photoshop to clip studio paint and never looked back. also i did a bunch of commissions for my grandmother's surgery, which failed, and i distracted myself from the sadness by drawing my ocs over and over and playing disco elysium
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2022 → by this year, i've got moz down pat and have started vaguely developing other ocs instead. but she's still always at the back of my mind
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2023 → i bought new brushes from true grit texture supply and immediately found new favorites that i started using for everything. i tentatively started incorporating background elements in some pieces!
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2024 → while it's still too early to say where this year will lead me art-wise, i will say that i started experimenting in realistic paint studio (which i bought in 2021, the same time as clip studio paint) a few days ago and i'm liking the results so far. we'll see!
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all in all, these last 10 years have been quite a ride, but i'm glad i stuck around and i'm glad you guys stuck around too!! much much love 💖💖💖
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joleneghoul · 4 months
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hey i was just curious about how u do the textures on your drawings !! they always look so good and i love the effect, is there a specific kind of texture you use? 😭
Hiiii so um, I actually have a collection of like many many texture files (over 100 lol) from over the years (some free, some i bought, some were shared with me, etc) and this process is kinda easier if you have the bought textures because they come configured to the layer settings that work best.
But the ones I use the most are from True Grit Texture Supply, they aren't free unfortunately and my favorite ones come from a pack (KraftTone, a pack meant for making halftone colors of old comics) where i'd say its not worth it to buy for just the textures But also lately I've been really Into the Kolormarc brushes and textures. The brushes themselves are textured to mimic the look of markers and the Ivory paper texture in the pack i've used on most of my recent pieces.
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The pro of these textures are that the files are already set up for you, which with most free textures you will have to fiddle with them yourselves to get them looking right but here is a screenshot of how these files are always set up. They also come with a color correction later that i never use because it washes out the piece (which may be more true to old posters but idc i'd rather not wash my characters and colors out but here's a screenshot anyway).
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Another thing I do to add texture for shading is use the Grain shader brushes from tgs, honestly probably my best pack from there. i use those brushes in spots like these. (the cheeks, light shadows, usually pants. and almost always rainbows to make them look less flat. also distress edges). I always CTRL and click layer then make a new layer with a clipping mask of what i want to use these colors in to keep them within the area of shading.
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Other thing i do esp with like redraws meant to look like cartoons is I will add a chromatic aberration action + color noise on top. this works best if you merge all your visible layers to a new later then do those actions. Here is the action set i use.
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um overall I just really mix and match a lot of these layers and techniques and actions and usually stop once i get something that looks ok. its really easy to over do it sometimes though but still.
Oh and while im at it all the lining and sketching brushes I use are the Rusty Nib pack from TGS also.
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graha-stan-account · 2 years
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FFXIV Write Day 6: Onerous
Onerous: Adjective. (of a task, duty, or responsibility) involving an amount of effort and difficulty that is oppressively burdensome.
😜 Azem returns home to her two favorites while in the Capitol to attend the confirmation of a new member. Emet-Selch is feeling self-conscious about it.
Masterpost: [link]
---
On most days Emet-Selch was able to pull himself from bed without waking his companions. But on this particular morning, of course this one, he made the mistake of clearing his throat on the way into the washroom.
"Hades...? Is it morning already?" Azem's voice wore the grit of sleep but it still managed to be unreasonably cheerful. "Will we have time to breakfast before the hearing?" She released a slumbering Hythlodaeus and wriggled out from beneath him. "Do you think so? Hades?" She was on her feet and after him now. "What sort of thing do we wear for a confirmation hearing? I admit, I was a bundle of nerves for mine! It's a wonder I didn't forget my own name!"
"Astrea." Her wide eyes met Emet-Selch's as he strode past. "Did you take my hairbrush again?"
"How can you think of your hair at a time like this!" And suddenly, she was onto something new. "Who is it this time? Another Lahabrea?"
"Another? Dear, it's always been the same Lahabrea." Emet-Selch's voice dropped several octaves. It was too early for this.
She crossed her arms, thinking deeply. "Somehow I'm not so sure..."
"It's Hermes, Elpis' chief overseer. A lovely man." It was Hythlodaeus, sitting up in bed now, brushing the gentle waves out of his hair. There was Emet-Selch's brush. "He'll make an excellent Fandaniel. But no one much cares who the Bureau endorses." He chuckled.
"Hermes? Is that the one who submits all the shark concepts?"
"That's Mitron, dear," said Hythlodaeus. "Would that Hermes deigned to submit any of his 'pet projects' in a timely fashion..." He sighed.
"Perhaps if you spent a bit more time in Amaurot you'd know our Convocation members better than 'the one that submits all the shark concepts.'"
"Oh hush!" said Azem. Hythlodaeus, finished his work, lifted his chin and Azem strode over, accepting her cue to re-weave his braid. "I know them all well enough to be sure who will come to my aid when I ask."
"And who's that?" Emet-Selch asked, pulling up his hood and donning his mask.
"Emet-Selch, you may be a powerful man, but you're also powerfully tedious." There was a bit of annoyance in her words. Hythlodaeus was writhing with giggles before her.
"See you at the hearing." He reached for the door, but suddenly Azem was at his elbow.
"Wait!"
"Are we not all going together?" called Hythlodaeus as he rushed to step into his shoes.
"No, arrive at the hall a few moments after me. To be seen gallivanting around together to so often is unsightly."
"But," Azem scoffed, running a hurried hand through her tangle of hair and shimmying into her robes, "I'm ready now! Let's go!"
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He held up her mask, the mask marking her as a member of his personal heckling squad as far as he was concerned.
"Thanks." She took it and shoved it somewhere into her robes, where moments later it clattered on the floor. She knew well it had no pockets.
"I'm not going to be involved in an ethical conflict because you can't keep our private life just that - private!"
Hythlodaeus sighed and shook his head. "She's right. You are a tedious one."
Emet-Selch shut the door with a snap. His feet could be heard clacking down the hall.
-
Emet-Selch was stalking down the corridors of the Capitol when he heard rising laughter moving down an adjacent hall. He groaned and held his jaw as he struggled to not let slip the true extent of his annoyance.
Hythlodaeus and Azem were arm in arm, near skipping down the morning sun lit hall, some sort of buttered pastry gripped in each of their hands.
"Oh, Azem, look! If it isn't Emet-Selch! Fancy meeting you here after our long time apart!" he shouted, though unintentionally. Normal speech was enough to send reverberations into all corners of the Convocation meeting hall. And it did. The morning traffic of pages, secretaries, and and the odd civilian made the lobby anything but private. Both unmasked and smiling gleefully, they folded Emet-Selch into an embrace.
"What-? Are-? Stop. Stop!"
"Have a wonderful day, my loves!" Hythlodaeus placed a kiss on the cheek of each of his companions. After placing his lips upon Emet-Selch he gave him a rough tug to bring his ear to his mouth. "Everyone already knows, Hades. As if it wasn't already plain enough, Elidibus ran his mouth to Pashtarot the day he found out. Oops." He leaned away and met his eyes, a warm smile playing on his face. Then he unclasped his mask from his robes and tucked back into anonymity of the morning crowd.
"Hades?" Azem extended her hand, on her face a mischievous grin. "Shall we?"
Emet-Selch gripped her fingers and pulled her alongside him into the hearing chamber. "Truly, you're both so tedious."
Azem hummed a tune, in an effort to hold back even more "tedium" which wanted to break free.
"Put that mask on. Now."
"Yes, dear."
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abandonambition · 1 year
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ArtistWrapped2022
Sabattons on Twitter created this excellent template to reflect on one’s year in art! I found I prefer something like this to the one-piece-each-month templates since some months are better than others in terms of creativity and output. When setting this up and looking through my files, I didn’t even realize that THIS was the year I started linos, back in January! It completely changed the tragectory of my art and expanded my interests. I definitely hope to carve out more in the new year. I “cheated” with this template and added more pieces since there was a lot to reflect on. I also tried to work with watercolors more on proper watercolor paper. It isn’t up to par with what I was hoping to do with them, but maybe with practice I’ll get to where I want to be. And while that goat was just a sketch, I love how its form came out, including how I sketched the hair and fur. Finally, while that commission was just from this week, I’m thrilled without how that muzzle and teeth came out, and those striking eyes. I haven’t done portraits like that in a long while, so it was refreshing to see I could still add in details like that. For those curious, the vast majority of my digital creating tools (brushes, textures, etc) come from True Grit Texture supply. You have to pay for them, but they’re 100% worth in. In particular I’m having fun with their infinite paper sets right now (which both that goat and the snarly muzzle were created on). My favorite “pencil” and “ink” brushes are from them, too. For colors, I don’t think I have many favorite colors, and color theory is something I continue to be weak in. I forever favor blacks and grays in inking and sketching, and red happened to be an accent color I used in a ton of pieces this year. Otherwise, when I do use color, a lot of it ends up with an almost “Lisa Frank” vibrance to it (which isn’t good or bad; I made my rainbow hyena and fox series so colorful to turn them into holographic stickers, for example). Hopefully if I continue to play with watercolors and inks I can expand my grasp of color and get those dull, muted tones I adore. Thank you all for watching what I create and supporting me along the way! This first full year of my rebrand reflected a sort of “giving up” of higher goals, which in the end freed me to pursue the little things that spark my interest or bring me joy. Abandoning big aspirations in the face of uncertainty meant giving myself the freedom to explore and create without putting any weight onto whether what I created was a success or a failure (financially or otherwise). I think I learned a lot about myself and how my brain works. I hold no hopes for 2023 and I’d like to keep it that way. 😉 
Thanks for enjoying my work! Your comments are appreciated. Learn more about me at AbandonAmbition.com.
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
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Always You | JJK (Six)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 18.3k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of drugs, mention of threesomes, mention of erection, grinding in sleep, car sex, riding, heated make out, hickeys, light hair pulling, light spanking
Notes: Not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter to be honest but here it is regardless! I hope you guys enjoy it:) ALSO those teaser pics from today!!! Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous---Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The week drags on slowly and horribly, Monday you had a raging migraine that just wouldn’t go away. Tuesday you were late for your job and were scolded for it. Wednesday you spilled your black coffee all over your white blouse. And today, Thursday, you started your period. This week could not get any worse. Oh wait, yes it can—you just remembered you promised Jungkook you would attend his get together.
You hope things won’t be awkward with Nick…Jungkook has assured you that things are cool and Nick isn’t mad about what happened.
Jungkook 5:15pm
Hey :) so, I was thinking you could bring that 16% wine we always drink?
Jungkook 5:50pm
It starts at 7 but you can come earlier if you want
Jungkook 6:00pm
Or you don’t have to,..it was just a suggestion.
Y/N 6:02pm
I’ll be there at 7.
Jungkook 6:02pm
Ok cool :) I can’t wait to hang out.
You click your phone off, groaning into your pillow. Your cramps are fucking killer and you want to die. You look to your nightstand to see your water and pain killers, you reach for them and swallow them down. Hopefully this helps.
You decide to start getting ready, you settle on some jeans and your favorite striped sweater. Like, who are you trying to impress?
You hear your phone buzzing from your bed and you hurry to answer it.
“Hello?”
“I’m outside whore.”
“Kay be out in a sec.”
You hang up your phone, stuffing it in your back pocket. You gather your things and do one last look in the mirror—casual but cute.
“Holly! They’re here!”
You two rush down to the parking lot where Jimin is parked, Trina and Holly sit in the backseat while you occupy the passenger seat.
“You ready?” Jimin smirks.
~~~~~~
Before you know it, Jimin is knocking on Jungkook and Nick’s front door.
“By the way, I still can’t believe you didn’t who nick was…”
“I never come over here! Jungkook usually comes to mine…” Jimin answers in pout.
The door swings open and there stands Nick, in all his hot glory.
“Hey Nick…” you say, avoiding eye contact but Nick is chipper as can be as he nods at you and everyone else.
“Hey Jungkook! y/n is here!” he calls behind him.
“I mean, we’re here too but go off I guess.” Jimin’s mutters from beside you.
The four of you walk into the apartment, Jungkook still nowhere to be seen.
The small place is filled with maybe 5 other people, you are quick to nod at everyone in greeting. You catch Jungkook leaving his bedroom with Vanessa following closely behind him, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Jungkook finds you staring at him and he grins, walking closer to you and your friends.
“y/n!” he goes in for a quick, unexpected hug.
“Hi.”
“Jimin!” he hugs Jimin too, “and Hey Tr—”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Yup, nice to see you too Trina.” Jungkook smiles anyway, “And you must be Holly?” he extends his hand out for her to shake. She takes it while smiling awkwardly.
“I’m glad you guys came!” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, “This is uh, this is Vanessa.” He introduces the girl standing beside him.
Vanessa is pretty…really pretty actually. She has short black hair, it looks soft and sleek. She is taller than you, her height almost rivaling Jungkook’s. But she is still smaller than him.
“Hi everyone.” She says flatly.
She doesn’t look interested in meeting any of you, or interested in any of the people here. She grabs her phone from her bag and starts scrolling through it as Jimin introduces everyone.
“And this is y/n.” he finally finishes, gesturing towards you.
At this, Vanessa looks up from her phone to eye you up and down, “Right.” Is all she says, then her eyes are back on her screen.
Wow, quite the charmer. You look at Jungkook whose eyes are already on you, and he chuckles nervously.
“Well, did you bring that wine?” he asks you.
You pull it from the bag you are holding and hand it to him, “Here…” his hand goes to reach it and his fingers brush against yours and you shudder.
“Umm, I’ll pour us all a glass.” He takes the bottle, faces Vanessa and heads toward the kitchen while Vanessa follows him. You watch as they disappear into the other room and you release a breath.
“That’s the bitch he’s fucking?” Trina asks bluntly, one eyebrow raised in question. “She didn’t even look at us!”
“Let’s be nice,” Holly says.
“Fucking fine.” Trina rolls her eyes. Hard.
You can’t help but agree though, Vanessa seems…you don’t know, but why would Jungkook like her? She seems rude, and uninterested in literally everything.
“You’re never going to get over her like this, you know?” Vanessa continues to look at her screen as she speaks to Jungkook. “You’re just hurting yourself.” Her eyes dart towards her glass being poured, “I don’t even like this wine, I told you I wanted the other one.”
“It’s y/n’s favorite.” He exhales deeply as he pours more glasses.
“Oh right, so is this how it’s going to be?” Vanessa clicks her phone off and slides it in her purse, “Now that she’s back in your life everything is going to be about her?”
“No, Vanessa…” he looks up from the bottle, “We’re still…” he gestures between their bodies.
“Right.” She says, tapping her fingers against the counter, “Totally.”
“So what game shall we play?” Jungkook sits down between you and Vanessa, his body vibrating in excitement. (How you and Vanessa ended up sitting next to each other in the first place? You don’t know. But thankfully Jungkook saves the day.)
“How bout never have I ever!” Jimin winks at everyone, “It’s always a good way to get to know new people.”
“Fine.” Trina says with a smirk
“Yeah, I’m down!” Nick says, high fiving his same bro who believes in aliens.
Various ‘yes’s are heard around the room and you nod your head too.
“If you’ve done it, you drink, that’s the rule.” Jimin states “I’ll go first. Never have I ever done coke.”
A few people you aren’t well acquainted with groan and take a sip of their drinks, Jimin looks at you as he passes his turn.
“Uh,” you look up at the ceiling, “Never have I ever had a threesome.”
You notice every single one of your friends taking a drink, Jungkook included. Well, you shouldn’t be surprised. Damn, even Holly? Are you just lame?
Jungkook goes next, “Never have I ever ate ass!” Jimin raises his glass and he take a gulp.
Everyone’s laughing and having a good time, the game continues on for several rounds, everyone drinking at different times but everyone collectively getting drunker.
The turn is back on you…”Never have I ever cheated on a college exam.”
“Fucking liar!” Jungkook snickers beside you, “You copied like half my answers in bio!”
“Oh true.” You say nonchalantly, “Never mind. Jungkook your turn.”
Jungkook thinks for a few moments, “Never have I ever not made a girl come.” He smirks.
“Okay ladies man, we get it, fucking whore.” Jimin sticks his tongue out.
Next is Vanessa’s turn, she tilts her head side to side thinking on what she wants to say.
“Never have I ever had sex with my best friend.” She says, her voice smooth and silky.
You choke on your spit when you process her words, your head snaps to Jungkook’s. He’s already looking at you, debating if he should drink—especially in front of all your friends.
He watches in horror as you begin to raise the glass to your lips, your eyes never leaving his. He raises his own glass to his mouth and takes a sip as you do the same and the room goes quiet.
Jimin watches the two of you, his eyes widening in shock as he puts two and two together.
“Wait wait wait.” Trina speaks up, “Did you two…?” she looks between you two before her eyes settle on you, “When?”
“Yeah, when?” Jimin asks quietly, sounding betrayed.
“Can we not do this right now?” you plead.
Jungkook is nodding his head in agreeance, “Yeah guys….this is a bit…” he glances over at Vanessa who is quietly sipping her wine, she blinks at Jungkook a few times before taking another sip.
“So you two have fucked!” Nick says, totally oblivious. Fucking Nick.
“It was a really long time ago, it meant nothing…” you save while striking a chord in Jungkook, he clenches his jaw. “Well, it meant nothing for only some of us,” he grits out. You feel a pang in your chest. What does he mean by that?
“Okay, would if we all take a moment to relax…” Holly intervenes. She stands up, taking her glass and Trina’s glass to the kitchen.
“It’s getting late anyway.” You stand too, you look at Trina and Jimin with apologetic eyes and nod towards the door, “Let’s get going.”
“Wait y/n,” Jungkook stands up as well, grabbing on to your arm. “Can we talk for a moment?” he motions towards the balcony. “Please.”
You roll your eyes but go along with it, you follow him out the back on to the balcony. It’s a small space, forcing you to stand somewhat close to Jungkook.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that last thing…” he begins, “You were just trying to save the conversation….right?”
“Right.” You agree. You fold your arms over your chest, you want this day to be over with.
“Other than this last bit…I had a lot of fun…you know…everyone hanging out. It was nice,” Jungkook shakes his head a bit, his hair falling all over his face, covering his big doe eyes. You can’t help but reach up and tuck some wild strands away so you could see him properly.
He freezes when you do that.
“Oh sorry…habit.”
“No no its okay, I was just surprised is all.” He smiles, and you feel your heart glow.
“Vanessa seems…” you don’t know why you bring her up right now but you do.
“Nice.”
Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, looking at you with serious eyes,
“You don’t like her.”
He chuckles lightly, “I still know when you’re lying.”
“Sorry,” you laugh into your palm, “She just doesn’t seem all that interested in anyone.”
“Including me?”
“Kind of…sorry.” You look up at him, “It’s none of my business.”
“Well, you’re my friend so I value your opinion.”
“Okay then…I just can’t seem to find what you might like about her…” Your honest nature isn’t something Jungkook isn’t use to, but he still feels defensive.
“Well, you don’t know her.”
“Do you?”
He opens his mouth to answer but falls short of a response. He stuffs his hands into his front pockets of his jeans and lets out a small groan.
“Can we go one day without fighting?” he whispers.
“Sorry.” You offer a half ass apology. “Jimin and the rest are probably waiting for me so—”
“Wait…” he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, “Can I hug you? Since I have to ask now.”
“If I say no?”
“Then I will probably cry myself to sleep.”
“Well, we can’t have that can we?”
“So that’s a yes?”
You look up into Jungkook’s endearing eyes and nod your head yes, he doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a sweet embrace. He smells like his laundry detergent and his natural scent, the combo making you dizzy—as usual. You finally return the hug, your own arms circling around his waist. You feel him inhale you and you can’t help but do the same…you missed this. You missed his touch—his warmth. You missed him.
“I missed you too.”
Oh, did you say that out loud?
“Yes you did.” He chuckles into your neck. his hot breath hitting your skin making you shudder.
“I missed you so much.” He whispers into your hair, his words almost getting lost in your locks.
“Then why did you replace me so quickly?” you whisper into his chest, you feel his heart beat faster than before.
“I don’t like her, Jungkook.” You admit.
“Please just give her a chance…for me, please.” He exhales into your neck before nuzzling further.
“Do you like her?” you brace yourself for the answer, you grip on to his shirt, bunching up the material in your hands.
“Yes.” He tightens his hold on you, “but, it’s complicated.”
You pull back from him, “Wait…you really do like her? Oh…” you drop your arms from his body.
“y/n…This is hard for me. She’s the only thing distracting me from…” he gulps, “Things.”
You take a step back, confused.
“Things?” you scoff, “What aren’t you telling me Jungkook?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He whispers, his hands still rest on your waist. He pulls you closer again, “I’m working on it.” He looks into your eyes and you can’t help but stare at his lips as he licks them.
“How hard are you working on it?” you wrap your hands around his middle again, stepping closer to him.
“I don’t…know���” he breathes out erratically. His eye becoming half lidded as he stares down at you, “I….dont …know….” He repeats in a daze.
Your hands travel up his back until your grabbing on to his hair, using this to tilt his head down gently.
“You’ll tell me eventually, won’t you?” you angle your head upwards, he slowly begins to lean down, his eyes shutting as he leans in closer and closer. You part your lips slightly waiting in anticipation for his lips to find yours.
“You’re so fucking unfair…” You feel Jungkook’s whisper hit your lips as he begins closing the distance.
Then the door fucking opens, you and Jungkook jumping apart at the sudden intrusion.
“y/n are you ready?” Jimin looks between you two, he eyes you suspiciously before looking at you expectantly.
“Right, yeah.” You look at Jungkook who is as red as a fucking cherry. He scratches his head with one hand and uses to the other to usher you inside. Were you and Jungkook about to…? Holy shit. What has gotten into you?
Before you go inside you turn around to face him, “Maybe we can talk about this later?”
“Uh, maybe.” Jungkook looks at the floor as you speak to him, he sways from one foot to another. “See you later y/n.”
~~~~
“Fucking spill it.” Trina spits out once you four are in the car. She aggressively puts on her seatbelt as Jimin turns on the car but refuses to drive anywhere until you talk.
“Can this wait til we’re home?” you whine, putting on your own seatbelt.
“I agree with y/n, Trina. Let’s wait…” Holly’s troubled smile begs Jimin to drive you all home back to your place.
Jimin is silent as he puts the car in reverse and begins driving. Just complete silence coming from him, which is more worrisome than him yelling at you.
The drive is mostly quiet, you can tell Trina is really forcing herself to keep it down while Holly has a death grip on her thigh. You want to laugh at their dynamic but you don’t think anyone is in the mood to laugh right now.
Once home, you drag out one of the chairs at the breakfast table and plop down, taking a seat. Your three friends follow your lead, each taking a seat at the table.
“Guys…do we really have to do this…?” you fold your hands out in front of you on top of the table.
“If it’s really that hard to talk about, no. But I would like it if we did…” Trina tries to say calmly.
You chew on your lips—your usual bad habit as you think. Do you tell them everything? About that night? Your true intentions? It’s silent for a while until Jimin quietly clears his throat.
“Neither of you told me…my best friends…” he stares down at the table top.
“When?” he whispers.
You stare at Jimin, who sits across from you and you feel your heart break just a bit. He looks and sounds so betrayed.
“Freshmen year. New Year’s Eve party.” You finally say.
Trina’s eyes expand, realization hitting her.
“Wait wait wait.” She throws her hands up, “New Year’s Eve party? The night you were going to….?”
You only nod your head yes, feeling fucking embarrassed.
“Going to what?” Jimin asks.
“Nothing!” You and Trina say at the same time.
“Really guys?” Jimin looks down at his hands, a frown taking over his face. “Is that how we’re going to be?”
You do feel bad but are you ready for Jimin to know? One look at his sad face and you guess the answer is yes.
“That night I was going to…” you begin, the memory of that night coming back to you.
Tonight is the night. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re going to do it. Maybe it’s this glass of wine that’s giving you courage—liquid courage—but you feel like tonight is a good as any.
Jungkook promised you no girls tonight…that tonight is between two best friends with no interruptions. And you believe him, of course. In the months you have known Jungkook he has always kept his word to you.
You lean back in your rolling chair, bringing the glass of wine to your lips and you take a generous sip…yes, tonight you are going to do it. You are going to confess to Jungkook.
“What’s got you so nervous tonight?” Trina asks as she applies her dark lipstick to her thick lips. Trina and you are getting ready in your dorm for the long awaited New Year’s Eve party and she can tell something is weird about you. You keep rubbing your sweaty hands down your black skirt, you keep patting your sweaty forehead dry with one of your t shirts, you keep looking in the mirror and taking much needed deep breaths. You are obvious. So fucking obvious.
“I could be wrong but it looks like you’re worried about a dead body you’re trying to hide…” Trina’s hand stops mid lipstick application as she glances at you, “bitch, you know I will help you.”
You can’t help but laugh, easing some of the nerves.
“No, nothing like that…” you know Trina knows. She’s had her assumptions but she never lets the subject linger…she basically is a bad bitch who minds her business…unlike someone you know—Jimin. Who ALWAYS has some shit to say about you and Jungkook, he on the other hand is a messy bitch who does NOT mind his business.
“It’s about…” you struggle to complete your sentence as you gulp down more wine.
“You don’t have to say…I know. Just know that no matter what, I am on your side.” Trina goes back to applying another layer of lipstick, “Especially if you have to hide a body.”
“Sometimes I wonder about you.” You say flatly.
Trina only laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much. “You wonder about me?” she winks.
It’s your turn to apply your own lipstick to your lips, a nice soothing red when you receive a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are on their way to the party.
“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles underneath her breath, “if not, this outfit is a complete waste” You giggle as you continue to apply your lipstick. You check your phone again to see another text that they’re there,
“Shit, we gotta get going!” You drop your lipstick in your bag and a few other essentials.
Trina raises a brow at you, “Are you trying to rush me?” she looks amused. “You can’t rush perfection.” she threads her fingers through her bouncy hair, “Lucky for you, I am done! And also, always perfect.”
“Yes yes miss perfect, we get it. Let’s go!”
The party is without a doubt: booming. The amount of decorations and alcohol and people is impressive. This is surely about to be a party worth remembering—and you hope you do. You decide to only sip a few beers—wanting to stay at least a little bit sober when you confess and you hope Jungkook isn’t completely shit faced either. Speaking of, where is he? Your eyes scan the crowd, you see Jimin surrounded by a group of people, laughing his head off. You see Trina grinding on some girl…maybe Stephanie? And you see Jungkook on the other side of the living room, sipping on his drink while some girl talks to him. But his eyes are on you. You crack an awkward smile and he turns to face the girl that is trying so hard to talk to him. He says a few words to her and is quickly leaving her side, he is now walking towards you. You can’t help but feel nervous as he approaches you…tonight’s the night, you keep reminding yourself.
You never not liked Jungkook…If you weren’t so shy maybe you would have slept with him the first night you met him… but instead you became friends and that was without a doubt the best thing that could of happened for you two. But in the back of your mind you always wanted more. Something always tugged at your hands, begging you and pulling you in the direction of more with Jungkook. But he seems fine with the friendship…so much so that you thought that maybe pursuing him would be best if you pushed it to the side.
Unfortunately for you, you just couldn’t take it anymore. Your feelings so overwhelming that you got pushed the edge. You’re about to fall off the Jungkook cliff so you decide instead of falling against your will, you will control the situation—parachute and all, you are ready the fall. You’re going to confess.
“What’s with your face?” Jungkook finally stands in front of you, his hands pushed into the front pocket of his jeans.
You take a moment to take in Jungkook’s appearance…his tight jeans, his black combat boots and a white t shirt, with his coat draped over his left arm. He looks good. Really good. You crumble at the sight.
“Who’s the girl?” you catch yourself asking. It isn’t odd for you to pry into his life like this so the words don’t taste weird leaving your mouth…but, only you know you’re only asking because the tinge of jealousy you feel.
“Dunno.” He shrugs his shoulders, “I think I have a class with her.”
“Oh nice.” You also shrug, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Shall we dance?” you nod your head towards the center of the living room where bodies shamelessly dry hump other bodies. You think you’ve seen Jimin grind on at least 10 different people tonight.
“Sure.” He smiles, his arm extends out for you to lead the way.
Somehow you went from sipping on a couple beers to taking shots with none other than your best friend. The two of you go from the living rooms dance floor to the kitchen for hours. The world becomes friendlier and a little blurrier but it’s nothing you can’t handle. You remind yourself to slow down, because you want to at least remember telling Jungkook your feelings for him and you want to remember his response. But wait—would if he rejects you? The thought lingers in your mind, so what do you do? You take another shot.
The air that surrounds the dance floor is different than the rest of the house…its hot, sweaty and downright dangerous. You and Jungkook find yourself dancing along with Trina and Jimin at some point, the 4 of you spinning around, jumping and hugging one another. Laughter filling the air, everything is perfect.
You feel Jungkook’s tatted fingers grip your waist as you dance on him, his fingers never find themselves going lower. And you wish they did.
“Guys! Guys!” You hear Jimin’s voice from a distance, but quickly growing closer.
Jimin stands next to the two of you as you guys are in your own world, the alcohol running through your veins, the music thumping loudly in your ears, Jungkook’s hands holding on to you tightly. Your bodies move together to the beat of the music, Jungkook’s head innocently falling into the crook of your neck. You innocently grinding your ass into his crotch.
All very innocent.
“Wow, just fuck already.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “GUYS!”
“What?!” you and Jungkook yell back in unison, not having liked being interrupted.
An evil smirk makes its way on Jimin’s face, “Upstairs. Let’s go! Truth or dare, come on!”
Truth or dare? What are you guys, 12? You giggle into your hand, nodding your head approvingly. It should be fun. You follow Jimin’s lead up the stairs, you turn around to see Jungkook right after you. You reach for his hand, you two interlocking fingers as you stumble up the stairs trying to keep each other stable. The two of you giggle for no apparent reason as you make your way up, making Jimin roll his eyes again.
You’re about to enter the room when Jungkook stops just outside the door.
“Wait…Jimin?” Jungkook nibbles on his lips, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
You and Jimin share a concerned look before you announce your departure.
“I’ll see you guys inside.” You smile, letting go of Jungkook’s hand.
“What’s up man?”
“Dare me to kiss y/n.” Jungkook states confidently. Jimin tilts his head in confusion then amusement.
“Why don’t you just kiss her without my help, hm?” Jimin teases, ruffling the younger ones hair. “But sure, why not?”
“Thanks, I owe you.”
“Oh you sure do.” Jimin winks, “Now come on.”
You’re sitting in a circle in the room with about 8 other people, some you’ve barely talked to, others you would consider friends. Jungkook and Jimin walk into the room and you notice Jungkook’s face is a soft pink…probably from the alcohol. Jungkook finds a spot on the floor next to you and he smiles gently in your direction, giving you the heads up that everything is okay. You just nod your head and smile back. The room is loud with chatter and laughter until Jimin stands up and clanks a wine glass with a spoon—ever the dramatic.
“Okay guys, we all know why we are here—truth or dare time!” He sits down in his spot, crossing his legs in front of him, “First, let’s start with Trina.”
“Of course.” Trina says flatly.
“Truth or dare?” Jimin smirks.
“Dare, obviously” she looks around the room, winking at several people.
“Okay,” Jimin pretends to think for a few moments, like he doesn’t already know what he’s going to say. “Dare you to flash your tits to everyone.”
“Oh? Is that all?” Trina quickly lifts her shirt up, revealing her bare breasts to the room. You and Jungkook cackle as you watch the scene unfold.
“Okay Hobi…” Trina nods towards to the bright smiling boy, “Truth or dare?”
“Dare!” he grins with all his teeth, no doubt excited “Okay, I dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”
The truths and dares continue on like this for quite a while. You being lame chose truth at first and had to admit when the last time you masturbated—which was 10 minutes before Trina arrived to your dorm. Jungkook had to spank some guys ass and Jimin had to make out with like, 3 different people. Which he wasn’t complaining. All was well…until it was Jimin’s turn again.
“Okay, Jungkook. Truth or dare?” Jimin smiles knowingly with an evil glint in his eye.
“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.
“I dare you to kiss y/n.”
You immediately choke on your drink as you process his words. Jungkook? Kiss YOU? In front of everyone?
Everyone in the room starts whooping and hollering at the idea, but you shake your hands in front of you in denial.
“No, no. We can’t do that!” you slur, your eyes squeezing shut. This isn’t how things are supposed to happen! You need to confess first!
You miss the way Jungkook’s face falls as he looks between you and Jimin. Jimin looks at Jungkook with pity and mouths a ‘sorry’.
“Yeah, no way in hell am I kissing her.” Okay, maybe he didn’t have to sound so harsh. But he feels a bit rejected at the moment and needs to be on your same page.
“Uh, yeah.” You feel a pang in your chest. Oh. Jungkook doesn’t want to kiss you, not even as a dare.
“That’s literally the last thing I want to do!” You hear him cackle from beside you, “Someone else can do the honors!” he continues to bark loudly, laughter filling the room.
Jimin frowns, looking at Jungkook with knowing eyes as he clasps his hands together. “Fine. Kiss Amber instead.”
“That I can do.” Jungkook smirks, looking across the room to a blushing Amber.
Things are starting to feel like they are crumbling…you shouldn’t even confess anymore, right? Jungkook will clearly reject you. The thought makes you want to cry like a stupid ass baby.
“I’m gonna get something more to drink.” You say to no one in particular as you stand to your feet. Jimin watches you leave the room with sad eyes, then his eyes go to Jungkook who looks panicked.
You open the door and go to close it behind you when you feel it being pushed open again. Jungkook.
You ignore him the whole way down the stairs but he continues to silently follow you.
The party is still going hard when you make your way downstairs again, you weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen to fetch yourself another beer.
“y/n! Wait up!” you hear Jungkook call from behind you but you decide to ignore him.
You find the cooler of beers and grab yourself one, the chilling beer freezing against your fingertips. You crack it open and begin chugging it back, enjoying the carbonation that sizzled down your throat.
“Slow down Lightning McQueen.” Jungkook chuckles next to you.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” you don’t mean to snap, but you do. You feel tired, just tired.
“What’s with you?” he quirks a brow, looking adorable while doing so.
“What are you doing here?” you snap again, “Shouldn’t you be like, making out with Selena or whatever her name is.”
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, his doe eyes big and bright, “Selena? Oh! You mean Amber? Nah, I saw you leaving so I came with you.” He smiles, “I told you no girls tonight. I am spending new year with you.”
You blink at him in surprise, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jungkook always keeps his word to you.
It makes the world crumble a little more, he said no girls. And you guess that includes you. Tonight was supposed to be the night, but you got your answers. Jungkook doesn’t feel the same.
“Want to go outside?” he asks, head nodding towards the back door.
“It’s cold, Jungkook!”
“I’ll keep you warm.” He winks then transitions into a soft smile, “Promise.”
You feel your heart begin to race but you order yourself to calm down…you aren’t confessing tonight, and that’s final.
The two of you walk outside, it was pretty damn cold, your skirt and crop top barely doing enough to keep you warm.
“Here.” Jungkook is shrugging off his jacket and handing it you.
“Thanks” you shiver, slipping on the warm, fuzzy coat. “Will you be fine?” you question.
“Only if you come snuggle with me.”
“Do these lines work on most girls?”
“Usually all of them.” He smirks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.
You giggle and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. Even though it’s like 20 degrees outside, Jungkook is unbelievably warm. You have to remain normal, like your heart isn’t breaking with every word or soft touch he offers you.
Jungkook pulls his phone out to check the time, huffing when he sees there’s still a few more minutes until midnight
“So how many girls did you have to reject tonight?” You ask with a snicker. Jungkook raises a brow in question, “Like, ‘oohh Jungkook please be my new year’s kiss??’ ya know, shit like that.” You mock. It’s not like you actually want to know the answer but you can’t help but be curious.
“Oh that? No girls lining up tonight.”
“Why’s that? You shut em all down early?”
Jungkook sways back and forth, your body clinging on to his, “I think they all see me with you tonight and are laying off.”
You scoff at his words, “Right, because I have stopped them before.” You roll your eyes.
“Ha, you never know.” Jungkook takes another look at his phone, “Oh less than a minute.” He says with the shrug of his broad shoulders.
“Wanna be my kiss Jeon?” the words slip out of your mouth almost killing you in the process. You can’t believe you just asked that! You literally just decided you’re giving up so why the hell would you offer him your lips
“Just kidding, you would rather have someone else kiss me, right?” you huff, saving yourself but god, what you wouldn’t give to feel his lips on yours just one time. For him to be yours…just one time.
Jungkook chokes on his spit as he tries to swallow down your words, “W-What?”
“Nothing.”
Jungkook obviously heard you loud and clear. Did you actually want to be kissed by him, he thinks.
5
4
3
2
1
Cheers of your classmates erupt besides you and you cannot help but smile at everyone’s happiness. You see many of them sharing hugs and kisses and you feel a pang of jealousy but you are mostly feeling joy.
“It’s nice right? Every—”
You didn’t get to finish what you were saying before Jungkook’s chapped lips are on yours. His mouth is warm and inviting but you don’t make yourself at home. Instead, you stand absolutely still as Jungkook innocently moves his lips over yours. Before you can really react, Jungkook is pulling away: absolutely horrified.
“y/n…I shouldn’t have done that…I’m sorry,” Jungkook is quick to stutter out.
You are frozen. You wish you could blame something…anything, wish you could blame the flurries that floated down to the earths ground, wish you could blame the below freezing weather and your short mini skirt, wish you could blame anything for why you are standing absolutely frozen.
You wish you could move, but the universe just won’t allow it.
“Oh my god, y/n…I really am sorry…fuck…” Jungkook’s wide eyes are focused on his feet as he threads his fingers through his thick, black hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please forget about th—”
And your lips are back on his again. Jungkook’s lips may be a bit chapped but they are as soft and fluffy as you have once imagined. With your lips back on his, you take charge. You quickly move them over his, he hums in satisfaction. Your fingers find themselves in his dark locks, pushing up into his soft hair as his hand moves to cup your jaw.
You gasp when you feel his teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and moan into his mouth when you feel him jerk his hips into yours.
“Let’s go to your place.” You heavily breathe out, your fingers dragging down the side of his face.
Jungkook disconnects himself from you, stepping back a good foot, inspecting your face,
“You sure?” he asks.
“I’m sure.”
Because he may not feel the same, and he may not be yours but maybe just for one night he can be.
“Wait, you were…” Jimin’s eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead, “you were going to confess to Jungkook…?”
“Yeah…I know this might be shocking to hear—”
Jimin bursts out into laughter, his hand goes over to cover his mouth as he mutters out apologies.
“Shocking?! You think this is shocking to hear?!” he continues to chuckle, “But wow…on New Year’s eve…oh my god…” Realization hits Jimin. “Oh my god…you both are so unbelievably stupid. Oh my god.”
You share a look of confusion with Trina and Holly as Jimin continues to connects dots in his head.
“Please promise me one of these days you will actually sit down with Jungkook and have an honest conversation with him…because this is just cruel and hilarious to listen to. Your timing…wow. So fucking stupid, you idiots.”
“Okay, you don’t have to be so harsh Jimin.” Holly says sweetly, her awkward smile easing everyone.
“What do you mean?” you finally ask.
“Do you still like him…even now? I mean, I know the answer honestly but go ahead.” Jimin gestures his hand for you to answer him.
“I…”
“She doesn’t need to answer that.” Trina cuts in, “No matter what, we’re on her side. Right?”
“Oh honey,” Jimin tilts his head towards Trina, “There are no sides for me. They’re both my friends and they’re both idiots.”
You can’t help but laugh at Jimin’s words. Because he knows better than anyone how true that is, so you’ll believe him.
“But really y/n…if you didn’t tell me or Trina…did you tell anyone?”
You begin chewing on your lips again,
“I don’t even talk about it with Jungkook.”
“Why?” Holly decides to pry.
“We…after we slept together…I could tell Jungkook was freaking out. He kind of tried brushing off the whole situation and I…I just had sex with the guy I had feelings for. So I put a little bit of space between us—”
“Wait, this is when you guys weren’t really hanging out for a couple months?!”
“It was only a month.” You deadpan. “But yeah…”
“I was wondering what the fuck was going on…Jungkook wouldn’t tell me anything.”
Guilt begins making a new home with you as you sit here. You wonder if you made a poor choice back then.
“Then we agreed to never talk about it to save our friendship.” You finish.
Jimin gives you a blank stare, his eyes probably going dry from lack of blinking.
“To…save your…y/n please, I am literally begging you. Talk to him. Fucking tell him the truth…” Jimin begs, he finally screws his eyes shut and shakes his head, “I can’t help you any more than that.”
~~~~~~
It’s Monday morning and you woke up with a raging headache and a snotty nose. You better not be getting sick, you think to yourself. You have a full shift ahead of you!
You slowly put on your work uniform and apply some light makeup for the day. Did you always lack color in your face or are you actually getting sick? Fuckity fuck, you think.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jade asks from beside you, you notice she dyed her hair black instead of the light brown she was previously sporting.
“Nice hair.” You go to compliment.
“Nice try but don’t change the subject.” She pats you on the back, “Me and the guys can take care of customers, you just bake, okay?”
“Kay.”
“You know who is so beautiful even when she’s sick?” Adam butts in, “Hazel.” He answers for you both with a dopey smile.
“Now’s not the time, loser.” Jade bobs her head around, “Where’s Lenny?”
“Probably eating fucking cookies.” You say with a grin.
“Wow, guys. I’ve been here the whole time and I am not eating cookies.” Lenny says from behind Jade. “But speaking of, don’t throw away the rejects I am taking them home.”
“Quick everyone,” Jade says flatly, “act surprised.”
The sound of the bell going off catches your attention, you notice a head full of sandy hair and you groan. It’s him. You feel like all the energy is being drained from your body, now is not the time for Mister Oatmeal Raisin.
“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry!” Lenny gives you a wide smile but you raise your hand up to stop him.
“It’s okay, he’s my usual. He’s going to ask for me anyway.”
You make it the front of the store to the register and give Mister Oatmeal Raisin a weak smile.
“Are we going to be a brat today?” he greets you warmly. You scoff and try smiling again but fall a bit short.
“Hey everything okay, y/n?”
“I’m fine Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”
“You don’t look…” he lets the words die on his tongue, not wanting to actually offend you.
“The usual?” you ask, already pushing the buttons on the screen for his order.
“Yeah.” He gives you a small smile and you smile back. You aren’t use to being so nice with him, usually you two have a lot more fun, shit, you really must not be feeling well.
You must turn around too quickly because you become very dizzy, your body wobbling and shaking from the sudden chill you feel. You hurry to lean against the counter, your hand going up to feel your throbbing forehead.
“Hey you good?” Mister Oatmeal Raisin peeks over.
“Fine, I—” you try to take a few steps but wobble too much that you almost fall. The world turning dark as your vision goes blurry but before you can hit the ground you feel yourself fall into two arms.
“Woah woah, y/n? y/n?” you hear your name from a distance, but the world is so dark and so cold that you can hardly focus on it.
“I got you.” You hear the same voice again.
You slowly open your eyes to see your most faithful customers face mere inches from your own as he holds your body up.
“You okay?”
You steady yourself and slowly get out of his hold and nod your head.
“Yeah, thanks Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” You weakly smile, saluting towards him.
“Min Yoongi.”
You can’t help but blush at your situation,
“Yoo…Yoongi.” You repeat back, your face returning some of its color. Mostly just shades of red.
“Yeah.” He smiles a real smile, you notice how cute and gummy it is and it makes you feel nice. Min Yoongi, huh?
~~~~~
It’s a lazy Tuesday afternoon, the sun creating a blanket of warmth outside while being accompanied by a fresh breeze. You want to enjoy the day…you really do but…
“Just let me die a miserable death.” You sniffle into your sleeve. It’s the 2nd day of the flu and you are well, like you said, miserable.
“You need to take the rest of your meds babe,” Jimin’s hand is full of various pills, he tries handing them to you but you deny him.
“No, I’m gonna overdose.”
“You’re not gonna fucking overdose you dramatic ass bitch.” Jimin rolls his eyes, setting the medicine down on your nightstand next to a full glass of water.
“Listen, I have to go to work but maybe call Trina to come take care of you? I know Holly is at school for the day—”
“Trina is home visiting her parents…” you sound disgusting as you speak, your voice all gross and nasaly.
“Oh. Maybe you could call—”
“No. Anyone but him,” you cut in, waving your hands in front of your face.
Anyone but Jungkook, you don’t need him to take care of you…you guys are hardly starting to become friends again and its only in group settings. So him taking care of you one on one sounds…intimate.
“No offense babe, but you literally don’t have any other friends.”
“I can take care of my—” you’re cut off by a string of sneezes, one after the fucking other. “Fuck, I am dying.” You shiver.
Jimin places his hand over your forehead, getting a feel for your temperature.
“Shit…I’m going to call him.”
“Noooo Jimin….” You lay back on your bed, your head beginning it’s pounding again. “Don’t need him…” you lazily grab the NyQuil bottle from your nightstand, “Only need this.” You smile while taking a few gulps.
“Jesus, what is wrong with you?”
Jimin takes out his phone and taps away on his screen, you assume he is sending a million texts to Jungkook begging him to come babysit you, that or he is texting Trina what a stubborn, whiny bitch you are to which she probably just replies with “True.”
“Wanna watch Howl’s Moving Castle.” You slur in your drowsy state, all the meds and NyQuil kicking in.
“Jungkook will be here in 30. Have him put it on for you when he gets here…I really gotta go…”
“Jungkook?” you try to open your eyes as you speak but they threaten to close every few seconds.
“Yeah. He will take care of you y/n.”
You wrap yourself further into your duvet, but the shivers don’t let up. You’re shaking from how freaking cold you are. Yet you are sweating like the disgusting human being you are.
Jimin eyes you over once more, his eyes full of pity as he closes your bedroom door and whispers a ‘see you later’ under his breath.
“y/n?” You hear his voice in the distance, like he’s a mile from you at least. His voice is fuzzy and far away. And you want it closer.
“y/n???” your body is being shaken awake, gently though. Like, he doesn’t want to hurt you.
“Hey…you need to take your medicine…” you begin to slowly open your eyes, the world is blurry and the sound of his angelic voice echoes. Jungkook.
“No…” you manage to breathe out.
“y/n you know I will force these pills down your throat.”
“mmmmm, leave me alone.” You lazily turn your body over to face the window. Your body shivering as you nuzzle further into the duvet.
“Not happening,” He walks to the other side of the bed and sits on the edge, just staring down at you. “Please take your meds, for me?”
“Mm mm”” you shake your head, your hair sticking to your forehead as more sweat builds up.
Jungkook looks at you with a soft smile, his hand reaching out to feel your forehead. His eyes widen as he feels how much you are burning up.
“Fuck…you’re hot.”
You crack open your eyes to look at Jungkook, “Thanks, you’re hot too.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze. Your drowsy state feeling intoxicating as you lay here in your bed.
Jungkook chuckles to himself before turning serious again, “If you take some fever reducer I will do whatever you want today.”
You let his words marinate as you lay here, lifeless. “Anything?” you say, peering up at him.
His soft smile grows as his fingers find their way in your messy, sweaty hair.
“Anything.”
“Go buy me chicken noodle soup.” You whisper. “The kind you use to always buy me.”
Jungkook’s brows climb up his forehead as he looks at you amused.
“You think I came empty handed? Like, I didn’t already bring it?” he smirks, standing to his feet. “I’ll go warm it up, and you promise you will take your meds?”
“Pinky promise.” You weakly lift up your hand to bring your pinky to his and he gladly accepts it.
Of course Jungkook brought the soup. He’s Jungkook and you’re y/n. He is always taking care of you and you want to melt. Well, with how high this fever is you actually might.
“Hey Jungkook?” you struggle to turn over to face the bedroom door, “Thanks for coming.” Your dopey smile doing things to his heart. He looks at you with a soft, almost sad smile before he’s making his way to the kitchen.
Jungkook doesn’t want to admit how fast he rushed here to your place, but it was fucking fast. All Jimin sent was a simple “y/n’s sick.” text and he was already calling the deli where he got the soup from, placing a quick order for 2 and gathering his stuff to make his way over.
He is used to being in charge of you when you’re sick because you are stubborn as hell and he actually has the patience. But he has barely talked to you since the night of the get together, aka the night he became weak and almost kissed you—and if it weren’t for Jimin, he is sure he would have.
Jungkook stands at the stove as he heats up a portion of the chicken soup, he stares off into space as the surface begins to bubble. He exhales deeply, taking the pot off the stove and pouring the contents into a bowl for you. The soup is hot, but you probably need the heat to help ease the congestion.
Jungkook walks back into your room, the bowl in his hands with a towel wrapped around it. You wish you could smell the soup but you’re so blocked up that you don’t even notice it.
“Here, try to sit up.” He sets the bowl down on your nightstand. He goes to help you sit up from your spot in bed, his strong arms pulling you up and you gasp when you’re finally upright. Fuck. You become so lightheaded and dizzy that you hold on to his forearm for support and he lets you. He gives you a moment to adjust to your new position before he’s reaching for the soup.
“It’s hot, so be careful.” He warns softly.
He waits for you to grab the bowl but you just continue to stare at him with tired eyes.
“Wow, do I have to do everything?” he jokes, “Even feed you?”
You nod your head slowly in approval, “Yes, feed me.”
“Such a brat. You’re definitely taking all your meds after this, okay?”
“Sure.”
Jungkook sets the bowl on the edge of the bed, holding it with one hand carefully and his other hand scoops up the broth with a spoon. He brings the spoon to your mouth and nudges it between your lips.
“Open.” He demands.
Your half lidded eyes stare up at his large ones, your chest slightly heaving from trying to breathe. You never break contact as you part your lips for him, letting him pour the spoons contents down your throat.
“Good girl.” He whispers, setting the spoon back down in the bowl. “Taste good?”
You swallow the liquid and open your mouth to speak ,”Can’t taste anything…” you murmur.
Jungkook smiles down at you, “That’s a shame because,” he takes a mouthful of soup in his mouth, “It’s fucking delicious.”
“Hey! You’ll get sick!”
“I never get sick from you, remember?”
You lay your head back on your headboard, closing your eyes as the NyQuil begins to make its second attempt with you.
“So sleepy but so cold.”
“You need to eat more baby.” Jungkook gathers vegetables and a piece of chicken this time in the spoon, he brings the spoon to your lips and you open wide for him, eating what he feeds you gratefully.
This goes on for several minutes until you can’t stomach anymore food, you slide back down into your sheets, feeling miserable all over again.
“Hey, time for yours meds.” Jungkook says sternly, he shakes the pill bottle to remind you of your deal.
“Fine,” you reply weakly, you try to sit back up enough to swallow down some pills and water.
Once you gulp it down, Jungkook stares at you with a satisfied smile.
“Cold?” he asks.
“Freezing.”
You feel the bed dip beside you and before you can react you feel two strong, warm arms engulf you in a hug.
“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you slur into his chest, sleep trying its hardest to take you away.
“Just rest, y/n.” he hugs you tighter. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Jungkook feels his heart crack when you doubt his promises now, he feels himself sink into depression as he recalls what he did to you.
The past 3 months have been crazy and weird without you. He’s missed you every day. The first few weeks he spent it in isolation. He felt like he was lost and lonely and like he didn’t deserve anyone’s love or affection. Then he decided in order for him to move on he needs to put some serious distance between the two of you…hence, why he moved out.
He knows it was sudden and fucked up but he had to…Or else he would be stuck in his lonely unrequited love forever.
Your last night with him before he disappeared he even got his hopes up…that maybe you could feel the same, but he had to be realistic. You were in such a weird state, you just needed comfort. And he hates that he was second choice.
He thought on this for a couple months, his mind overflowing with thoughts and cruel ideas. He was beginning to spiral until he met…Vanessa.
Vanessa was just looking to get laid, just like him. They met through tinder, hooking up after matching the first night. But the sex was so good they both agreed to do it again.
One night, they got so shit faced they both ended up venting about the one who makes life better yet harder. For her, it was her ex of 4 years and for him, it was you.
They confided in one another, feeling free telling someone their deepest romantic desires and they just clicked. Forming a solid friendship while also fucking.
Jungkook is grateful for Vanessa because for the first time in 3 years he connected with someone who isn’t you. Vanessa is a smart, sexy girl. And Jungkook isn’t blind to see that, so they made a deal. They would use each other to get over the ones they really love. And he thinks it could of almost worked until he saw you at that party. You were wearing the same black mini skirt that he fucked you in for the first (and only) time. You looked better than he’s ever seen you.
Somehow this made Jungkook feel even more depressed. So you are better off without him, he thinks.
Jungkook is lost in his thoughts when he feels you stir…you briefly open your eyes and tilt your head to look up at him, you blink lazily with a dopey smile.
“love you.” You yawn out, closing your eyes once again, drifting back off into dream world.
Jungkook’s heart stops. Your words ringing in his ears as he tries to stay calm.
He knows you mean it platonically but he still can’t help what it does to his weak heart. He is crazy for you, even with everything that’s happened he still loves you. You and you only. It’s always you.
Jungkook plays with your hair and chuckles lightly as he hears you struggling to breathe properly due to your nose being plugged up. How can he continue to see Vanessa when he has you? Jungkook’s smile drops all together when he realizes that would put him back at square 1.
It’s almost midnight when you wake, your body feels stiff from how much shivering you endured. You try to get up when you realize Jungkook’s body is wrapped strongly around your own, his light snores filling up the room.
You look at him carefully, his hair falling into his eyes as he moans lightly every time he moves around slightly. He’s so cute, you think. You’ve always thought Jungkook was cute but right now there’s something so endearing about him it makes you want to peck his lips softly.
Wait, what? You want to what? That’s not allowed!
The next morning comes quickly, you lay awake in Jungkook’s arms wondering if it’s okay to stay like this all day. You admittingly feel much better compared to yesterday, breathing is much easier and your head isn’t throbbing. You feel a fondness swell in your chest as you stare at Jungkook’s soft, sleeping face and it makes you feel weird all of the sudden.
You’ve always felt this way about Jungkook, right? Wait, what way? What are you saying? Or at least, trying to say? You know though, you know what you are trying to say…it’s the same thing you’ve been trying to say since freshmen year. But saying it out loud is just different.
Confusion on how to feel clouds your mind as you stare at him, his breaths are light and airy and you feel so warm and safe in his embrace. He slightly shifts, his hips bumping into yours, lightly grinding into you. Your eyes widen as you feel his hard member bumping into your thigh and it’s not like you haven’t felt it before while the two of you slept but still, it surprises you each time.
Feeling his length twitching on your thigh is creating trouble for you, you hate that such a small act is getting you all hot. You try to scoot away but he only pulls you closer on instinct. He brings you so close that his warm breath fans over your right cheek and you want to force yourself to sleep more so you aren’t hyper aware of his dick.
“Jungkook…” you mumble, trying to free yourself from his grasp but you fail miserably.
His arms are circled around your hips and he digs his fingers into your exposed flesh from how your shirt is riding up.
“Baby…” he groans out, his hips grinding into your thigh again. His eyes are screwed shut, like he is still stuck in his dreams.
You lay here frozen, he’s called you baby a million times but this is different. He’s only ever called you baby in that tone when you two…you slam your eyes shut, trying to rid yourself of the memories.
“Jungkook, time to wake up.” You wiggle in his arms but your thigh only rubs on his dick more. He releases quiet whimpers against your ear, his lips parting in pleasure.
“Mmm…” he pants out, his hips thrusts against your thigh again.
Jungkook…dreaming?
Was it bad luck to interrupt someone’s dream? Or is this just an excuse to have him rutting against you?
“Jungkook…” your voice comes out shaky as you turn your body to face him, he groans in his sleep once more.
You’re afraid he’s going to say it. Her name. Vanessa. That’s the last thing you would want to hear…it would probably ruin your whole day so you need to wake him up.
“Jungkook….” You sound more breathy than intended. You need him to wake up so you can stop thinking about his length rubbing up on you. You flush as you feel your panties start to dampen, this cannot be happening. Why did Jungkook have to have this sort of reaction out of you?
“Mmm…” Jungkook whines quietly as he ruts himself harder onto you. His cock up against your lower belly, you start to imagine him without his black sweats on, you start to imagine him without his shirt. You hesitate to reach your hand against his hard chest, you breathe out heavily as you begin to drag your fingers down until you reach just the top of his waistband. Your eyes follow your fingers until you spot his hard erection through his sweats and you breathe erratically.
“What are you doing?” Jungkook’s husky voice interrupts your horny daze. Your eyes expand in size as you realize your position. Your eyes trail up his chest until you meet his gaze, his pupils blown out.
“Where do your hands think they’re going?”
“No—nowhere.” You stare up at him, gulping. You can’t do this with him, you are finally getting your friendship back but what is with all this tension?
Jungkook releases his hold on you, moving to his back. His arms fold underneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling.
“What were you—were you dreaming about?” your hand innocently finds its way back on his chest, resting over his beating heart.
“Uh…” Jungkook turns 3 shades of red, “I don’t remember.” His blush deepens.
“I feel like you’re lying.”
“Why would I ever lie to you?” Jungkook chuckles.
Your eyes trail down his body and you see his length still struggling with a probably painful erection.
“You have a problem?” you gesture towards his crotch.
Jungkook exhales a heavy breath, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Jesus Christ, y/n.”
“what?” you feign innocence.
“Do you really have to point out everything?”
“Only things that are super obvious.”
“Fuck.”
“You can go take care of it in the bathroom?” you kindly offer, causing him to scoff.
“I’m good.”
“I guess Vanessa usually takes care of these things, huh?”
“Seriously?”
Jungkook groans out, frustration written all over his face. He hates the mention of Vanessa especially when he was just dreaming about you. He feels wrong. They aren’t officially in a relationship but somehow it feels like cheating.
“Can we not talk about her?” Jungkook doesn’t want to be reminded of the shitty situations he’s in.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Are you feeling better?” he asks softly, he moves his body to lay on his side to face you.
“Much.” You smile, “Thanks again.”
“Ready for some more chicken soup?”
A few hours pass, you figured Jungkook would have left by now but he sits on your couch next to you while the two of you watch some new anime. He laughs every now and then at the ridiculous characters and you feel warm inside. It almost feels like how things were before, when he still lived with you.
“Yeah, it does.” He says, still facing the screen.
“Huh?”
“You said it feels like we still live together.” He points out.
Shit, you said that out loud.
Jungkook bows his head, “I am…sorry that I moved out.”
“Move back in.”
“You know I can’t do that…plus, you have Holly now.” Jungkook sits back against the sofa, “Can’t just kick her out.” He snickers.
“Just move in my room with me.” You say half joking. But also, you know, half serious.
“Ha ha y/n.”
“What? You don’t like sleeping with me?” you tease. “Speaking of…you can stay as long as you want…”
“I…I have plans tonight, actually.” Jungkook stiffens in his spot. He pulls his phone out from his pocket, “actually, I should get going soon.” He regrets saying.
“Oh, okay.”
~~~~~
It’s almost 7pm and Jungkook looks himself over in the mirror. He’s got tight, ripped jeans and a dark blue shirt tucked in, his hair is wavy against his forehead. He knows he looks good but he can’t find himself to be happy about it.
He has a date with Vanessa tonight…
Vanessa 7:04pm
Hey babe, I’m ready when you are<3
Jungkook 7:05pm
Okay, I am on my way :)
The ride over to Vanessa’s place takes about 20 minutes, he uses this time to listen to the radio and think. He asked Vanessa earlier this week on a date for both of their days off.
When he arrives to her apartment, he sends her a text that he’s here.
Vanessa walks out wearing a cute, yellow sundress. Her hair freshly trimmed and sporting bangs.
“Hi handsome.” She says as she steps inside Jungkook’s car. She leans over to place a kiss on Jungkook’s lips and as she begins to pull away he pulls her back in, his lips chasing hers for a more heated kiss.
“Hi.” He finally says, out of breath.
“What was that for?” she smirks, her skinny fingers digging into her purse to pull out her phone.
“Let me guess,” she begins scrolling through it mindlessly, “You’re desperate to get y/n out of your head?” She stops scrolling to glance his way, “Need me?”
“It’s not like that…” Jungkook groans.
“Oh? Isn’t it though?” her coy smile spreads across her face. “But you need me to forget, right?” she tilts her head to the side, “That’s what we’re here for, Jungkook. We use each other.”
Jungkook drags a hand down his face, “But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?” he sounds and looks tired, that Vanessa almost feels bad.
“We can make it work later, right now you need me.” She crawls on to Jungkook’s lap, she hikes up her dress around her waist and swivels her hips over his crotch, “Don’t you?”
“Vanessa…” he chokes out. Men are so weak, she thinks.
Her hands go to unbutton his jeans and pull out his half hard cock, she gently strokes it over and over until he is fully hard in her hand.
“Fuck,” he exhales deeply, the feeling of her tiny cold hand doing incredible things to his dick.
Vanessa slides her panties to the side and rubs his dick against her wet folds, covering his dick with her juices until she lines it up with her entrance. She releases a smooth breath as she begins to sink down on his hard cock, Jungkook gasps out of the warm feeling her tight cunt provides.
“You need me, don’t you?” her voice is smooth as silk. “But you won’t ever love me.” Vanessa rises from his cock and slams back down, repeating the motion over and over until Jungkook is panting out sweet words that mean nothing.
“You wish it was her, don’t you?” her sinister smile growing on her face, “Wish this perfect pussy was y/n’s.”
At the mention of you, Jungkook loses all composure while his dick throbs, begging for release.
“Fuck...” he whines out, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure, “y/n.”
“That’s right….” Vanessa’s wicked grin takes up her whole face now, “Fuck me like I am her.”
Jungkook shamelessly moans out your name over and over, his hips meeting hers in desperate thrusts. His eyes remain closed as he fucks into Vanessa’s cunt, only wishing and imagining it was you.
“Fuuuuck” he groans out, his fingers finding Vanessa’s clit and he rubs tight, focused circles.
Vanessa whines out, loving the feeling of his cock, his fingers and the mention of your name. it was all fucked up and nothing turned her on more.
She quickly comes undone as Jungkook continues to thrust from below, his precision becoming sloppy.
“y/n…” he grunts out with one final thrust as he comes inside Vanessa.
He keeps his eyes shut as he comes down from his high, the feeling insane.
Vanessa smirks down at him, slipping his softening cock out of her. She crawls back over to the passenger side of the car and buckles her seatbelt.
“Ready for our date.” She smiles, she digs through her purse to fetch her phone and it tapping away on it.
“Fuck…” Jungkook finally opens his eyes, realizing what the fuck he’s just done. “Vanessa…”
“It’s okay.” She says nonchalantly. “I was into it.”
“How?”
“Because I think of him every time you’ve made me come.” She peeks over her phone, her eyes shining. “So we’re even.”
~~~~~
“She lives!” You hear Adam sing as you walk into the bakery.
You look and feel much better! Totally revived from the fucking dead. You smile at your coworker and do a twirl and a curtsey just for show.
“I live!” you copy while smiling as you continue to do a few more curtseys.
Jade and Lenny walk out from the back and applaud you, you laugh at their action.
“Your oatmeal raisin guy has been in every day since you’ve been out to see if you’re okay.” Lenny brings up with a knowing smile, “Or should I call him your hero? Your savior?” he grins, stuffing his face with a sugar cookie.
“Oh shush, let’s just call him…” you begin to blush, “Yoongi.”
“Yoongi, huh?” Jade playfully elbows Adam’s side, “We’re calling him ‘Yoongi’ now!” she and Adam laugh, their teasing going straight to your head.
Yoongi is your usual customer—yes. But he’s also your…what did Lenny say? Your hero? Your savior? You cringe just thinking about it! But you cannot help but grin.
The work day goes on, you have your usual easy customers, your usual stubborn customers but no sign of Yoongi yet. He usually comes on what you are assuming is his lunch break, he must work nearby but it’s already almost closing time and he hasn’t made an appearance…not that you were looking forward to it or anything…it’s just you want to say thank you, you know, for catching you when you almost fucking fainted. A simple thank you!
You’re chillin in the back, swiping through your phone when the bell goes off at the front. Jade is the first to head towards the counter when after a moment or two she’s calling out your name. He must be here, you think. You smooth out your apron and look at your reflection from your phone screen—wait, why does it even matter? You begin walking towards the front to see Yoongi standing there with a worried expression on his face but once he sees you he smiles softly.
“You’re here.” He says.
You raise a hand, “Yup, I’m here.” You laugh, “Listen, I wanted to—”
“Are you feeling better?” he looks between you and Jade and she nods her head and walks back to the back.
“Much.”
Yoongi sighs in relief, then smirks at you.
“Then I’ll have my usual.”
You stare at him before your smile is growing on your face, you can’t believe the nerve of this guy. You like it though, you have to admit.
“Sure…Yoongi.”
Yoongi looks pleasantly surprised as he nods his head in satisfaction. You walk to the back and get him his two cookies, you bring them to him as he takes the bag from you, you put it in his order on the screen.
“Also…” you say, looking up from the screen “I really want to say thanks.”
“For?” Yoongi stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“For helping me that day…I wanted to like, uh…”
“Wanted to like, uh…what?”
“I was wondering if I could treat you to like an ice cream or something…” you sway side to side, feeling a bit awkward.
“Are you asking me out?” Yoongi blurts out and you feel flustered as fuck, all the heat rushing to your cheeks.
“W-What? N-No—”
“Because if you are,” Yoongi takes one hand out of his pocket with his phone in his grasp, “Then I would say yes.” He slides his phone over the counter. “Number.”
You must be red as a cherry, or a tomato, or like a fire truck or whatever the fuck else is super red. You look at him and gasp, your hand coming to your mouth and you can’t help but lightly chuckle.
“Fine, I’ll give you my number…but this is just a thank you outing.” You wink, taking the phone and putting your number in.
“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself darling.” Yoongi takes his phone from you and puts it back into his jacket pocket.
“I’m free this weekend.” He sways back and forth on his heels and he laughs a bit before saying ‘Ah’ and taking out $4 and hands it to you.
“For the cookies.”
“You’re not going to inspect them?” you put the money in the register.
“I’m deciding to trust you today.”
You smile again, a real smile. Yoongi smiles back and he’s about to say something when the chime of the bell goes off and a woman and her kids make their way inside the store.
“I’ll text you.” He says before he’s turning around and heading out the door.
~~~~~
“A DATE?!” Trina and Holly yell in unison. You just told them about ice cream with Yoongi and their excitement is very evident.
“It’s not a date guys. God, how many times do I have to tell you?” you whine into the cookie you’re eating.
“It’s a thank you outing!”
“Thank you outing my ass.” Jimin frowns, “Why are you going on a date? What about Jungkook?”
You scoff, “What about him? We’re just friends, Jimin.” You defend.
“If you just come clean about every—”
“No. What good would that do?” you bite on your bottom lip, “So I can feel the lovely pain of getting rejected? He literally has a girlfriend.”
“Yeah, don’t even get me started on that shit.” Jimin complains, he takes one of the cookies from the box on the middle of the table and starts nibbling on the treat.
“But who even is this Min Yoongi guy? Is he cute?”
“Super…” you admit through a soft breath.
What? He is. He may have started out as your annoying customer but you kind of always thought he was cute.
“It’s just ice cream, you know?”
“Is it just ice cream though?” Holly intervenes, stuffing her own face with a cookie, totally ignoring the new fad diet she’s on.
“Yeah, this sounds like a good opportunity y/n.” Trina grins.
“A good opportunity?”
Jimin looks at Trina incredulously, “A good opportunity? Really Trina? Just say you hate Jungkook and move on.”
“Okay, I hate Jungkook.” She states without a problem and you frown…you don’t want her to hate him. Yeah, he hurt you but he’s…he’s not a bad guy.
“Stop guys…” you finally say, putting your half eaten cookie down. You…this isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! But…would if it is?
“Aren’t you ready to move on y/n?” Trina looks at you seriously, her hard expression almost scaring you.
“I—”
“She doesn’t have to answer that,” Jimin cuts in, “Because whatever she decides we’re on her side…right, Trina?” Jimin gives Trina a cold stare, a bite in his voice.
“Okay guys, yes let’s all just support y/n…” Holly tries saving the tension in the room.
You…tried this before already. You tried using someone to distract yourself from Jungkook, you don’t plan on using innocent Yoongi to do that again.
“It’s just a thank you outing…” you mumble, the words hard to understand by your friends. “Just saying thank you…” you bow your head, feeling sad all of the sudden.
This won’t be a repeat, will it? Taehyung number 2? You don’t think Yoongi has any ulterior motives, no not that. But do you?
“Yeah. It’s not a date.”
Jimin clasps his hands together, “Then it’s settled! Let’s change the subject.” He looks between you and Trina and Holly.
“Agreed.” Trina and Holly say at the same time, you only nod your head.
~~~~
It’s a nice Saturday evening, the breeze blows through you just right making you feel so alive. The sun is setting, giving the sky a gorgeous orange glow and you fall in love with the sight.
“How many more pictures are you going to take of the sky?” Yoongi chuckles, he walks close beside you making sure you don’t run into to like, any poles as you distractedly take photos of the beautiful sky.
“One more, one more!” you snap one last photo on your phone and slide it in your back pocket, “I have a collection of sky pictures!” you say with pride.
“I believe you.” He takes out his own phone and captures a picture of the sky too. “So we can look at the same sky.” He mumbles somewhat timidly.
You tilt your head and smile at him. You two met outside the bakery this evening so you could walk to the ice cream shop just a block away, he walks on the side next to the street while you occupy the spot walking next to all the shops.
“You know I work right around here but never been to this ice cream place you mention before.”
“Really? Where do you work?”
“The record store.”
“Ah, really? I’ve never been in.” you slow down to admire the plants outside the floral shop.
“You should come by, I think the owner would be cool with it.” He smirks.
You observe his sly smile and you wonder…
“If you say some shit like ‘It’s because I’m the owner’….” You begin, you see his sly smile grow even wider. “Oh my god, you are!”
Yoongi laughs out loud, nodding his head.
“It’s a pretty small store, but all mine.” He smiles fondly thinking over his store. “I’m serious, come check it out sometime. I mean, you like music right?”
“Am I a human being? Of course I like music!”
You both laugh while approaching the shop. Once inside, you notice how busy it is and you become afraid you two won’t find a spot to sit.
“Here, tell me what you want and I’ll go order while you find us a spot to sit, hm?” Yoongi offers, as if reading your mind.
“Oh. Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”
After circling the place for several minutes you notice a couple that was sitting at a table by the window leave so you rush to occupy the spot. You grab a napkin and wipe down the table before sitting down, you pull out your phone and scroll through social media while waiting for Yoongi to come with your ice creams.
After waiting for quite some time, Yoongi finally shows up with two ice cream cones of different flavors.
“Here.” He gives you a small smile while handing you your cone as he takes a seat across from you.
“Long line.” He gestures towards the line and smiles again.
You really like his smile, he looks genuinely happy when he does.
“You know, you kind of intimidated me at first…” you admit softly, your own smiling joining the club.
“But you seem quite soft.” You laugh, licking your ice cream.
“I get that a lot…” Yoongi groans, he looks down at the table before looking back up at you,
“I’m just kind of shy at first.”
“Shy my ass!” you lick more of your treat, “You weren’t shy complaining about the cookies I choose for you!”
Yoongi blushes at this, his laughter timid.
“The cookies you choose are fine.” He finally says, “Just had a lot of fun messing with you.” He looks up and smirks. “So,” Yoongi begins licking his ice cream again, “What do you do? Or is the bakery it?”
You internally groan. You hate this question. You have a marketing degree yet you work selling cookies.
“Uh, for now, yeah.”
“Why just for now?”
“I have a degree in marketing but…”
“Oh? Your passion lies in marketing then?” he continues to kitten lick his ice cream.
You don’t mean to scoff, but you do. You fucking do.
“Ha, passion.” You chuckle bitterly, “I hate that word.”
Yoongi raises his brows in curiosity, “Why’s that?”
“I don’t think I…” you struggle to find your words, the topic making you antsy.
“You don’t think you have a passion? Is that it?” Yoongi hits bulls fucking eye. You sigh out, finishing up your ice cream and take a bite of your cone.
“I know, that seems impossible right? Everyone has—”
“It’s okay.” He states plainly, finishing up his own ice cream. “Having a passion…a dream…you don’t have to have something like that to live a good life. Even just surviving the day is the dream.” He looks into your eyes and he shows that gummy smile you are learning to enjoy so much.
His words…you don’t really realize the impact they are leaving on you, his beautiful and wise words are exactly what you need to hear.
Yoongi continues,
“I thought I had big dreams but in the end my dream was small, it was simple. I just want to live happily. Maybe it’s the same for you, I don’t know though. I’m only now getting to know you.” His shy tone makes you feel weak.
“No, no. I think you’re right.” You admit between soft breaths. “I only pursued marketing because I knew I could find a job in the field not because I like it…I am failing miserably in interviews. All my friends are going on doing what they love and I’m just…here.”
Yoongi looks amused for a second before his soft smile returns,
“Isn’t being here enough?” he asks.
Is it? You think to yourself, is it really?
“Are you happy y/n?”
Woah, that’s a loaded question. You chew on your lips instinctively, deciding how you should answer this—if you should answer this.
“Life is a bit complicated right now.” You laugh awkwardly.
Yoongi laughs too, he nods his head in understanding.
“Even with complications, you can still find moments where you’re happy, right?”
You feel yourself becoming drawn to Yoongi’s wise and understanding nature, his words creating a warmth in you. You feel like you’re actually making a friend.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“You just gotta find the small things in life to be grateful for and eventually each small moment will add up and create big moments of happiness for you.” Yoongi smiles then stands to his feet and heads towards the trashcan to throw your trash away. While he’s gone for the few seconds he’s away, you sit back in your chair and think.
What’s complicated in your life right now? Well, you can’t find a fucking job to save your life, you’re afraid you wasted four years of college on the wrong degree—but what’s the right degree? You and Jungkook are the definition of the word ‘complicated’ and you’re afraid you’ll be stuck in unrequited love forever. But you have good friends, you like your coworkers and your job for the most part, you live in a good apartment, your parents call you regularly, you found a lady bug on a flower this morning, the list goes on!
Yoongi sits back down and folds his hands in front of him, he looks up at you with expectant eyes.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Tell me more about you.”
You’re about to say something when realization hits you,
“How much were the ice creams?! They’re my treat, remember?” you quickly unzip your purse and pull out your wallet, fully ready to hand him some cash when he’s shaking his hands in front of him, denying you.
“No no, it’s okay, really.” Yoongi ushers you to put your wallet away, his smile brightens and you find yourself slumping in your chair in defeat.
“Fine.” You huff out dramatically.
“You can pay next time.” He looks down at his hands as he smiles to himself.
“Oh? There’s a next time?”
“Yeah, hanging out with you is fun y/n. I don’t want to just see you when I buy cookies...coming to see you is getting expensive.” He laughs into his shoulder.
“I just think you really have a cookie addiction.”
“Something like that.” He looks into your eyes for a moment before tearing them away to look back down at his hands. “Do you have any siblings?”
“Nope. But I have a lot of cousins, so it almost feels like I didn’t grow up lonely.”
“Your parents didn’t want to have any more kids?” Yoongi pries further.
“Actually, they weren’t supposed to have kids at all. I was there miracle baby, as they call it.” You laugh into your hands, “It feels ridiculous saying that out loud myself.” You laugh some more.
“Miracle baby, huh?” Yoongi teases. “Are your parents still together?”
“Hm? Oh yeah, they are.”
You parents are in a great, functioning relationship so why is it so hard for you to get into one?! “Are yours?”
“Nah, divorced.” Yoongi says with no bitter tone in his voice.
“Oh. I’m so—”
“Nah, it was for the best. Nothing dramatic happened they just weren’t meant to be.” He smiles at you and you nod your head.
You’re about to speak up again when you feel someone’s hand grip your shoulder and your name being called out. You know this voice. No, it can’t be. Jungkook.
“y/n?” He looks at you with confused eyes as he looks between you and Yoongi.
Jungkook is standing here next to your fucking table with his fucking girlfriend who is not his girlfriend, fucking Vanessa. She looks at you with a bored expression and tilts her head to the side.
“Hey.” He smiles at you but then looks at Yoongi again, “Uh, hey man. I’m Jungkook.”
Yoongi watches as you sit here with your mouth wide open, but he’s quick to shake his head and look up at Jungkook and introduce himself.
“Yoongi.”
Vanessa doesn’t waste her time in greeting anyone, she just taps her skinny little fingers on the table and whines into Jungkook’s ear about hurrying up.
“You guys wanna sit with us? There’s like no other tables.” You cannot believe your own ears as you offer that to them. Vanessa visibly frowns and rolls her to the side as Jungkook reacts just the opposite.
“Really?” his bunny grin taking over his whole face. You nod your head and gesture for him to go order his ice cream. He takes Vanessa’s hand and they head towards the line.
“Sorry for inviting them…I didn’t think.” You admit softly to Yoongi but he doesn’t seem mad. Not at all.
“A close friend of yours, I’m assuming?”
“Very.” You place some loose strands of hair behind your ear, you awkwardly laugh and begin pulling at the ends of your hairs. A nervous tick of yours, for sure.
“I see.” Yoongi smiles that fucking smile, like everything is okay. But is it? You don’t want to be in the same fucking room as Vanessa. But you’re giving her a chance for Jungkook’s sake.
“We aren’t really going to sit with them are we?” Vanessa’s smooth voice fills Jungkook’s ears as they wait in line.
“Why not? Plus she’s right, there’s like, no other tables.” Jungkook tries to reason.
“Why not? You cannot be ser—” she tilts her head, blinking at him, “Oh? You are? Also, you’re not worried about who this guy is? My Jungkookie isn’t feeling jealous is he?”
“Vanessa stop. It’s probably a friend from work or something.” He says nonchalantly.
“Maybe it’s a date.” Her silky voice annoying him.
“If it was a date why would she invite us?” he tries to reason again.
Vanessa tilts her head again and puts a finger to her lip, “Maybe she wants a foursome?”
“Stop.” Jungkook warns.
“I’m just trying to help you.”
You move to the other side of the table and sit next to Yoongi, you two bumping shoulders and you feel like a third grader with how giddy the action is making you.
“We’re here!” Jungkook announces excitedly. He lets Vanessa sit first and then he’s pulling out his own chair to sit in, right across from you.
“So Yoongi, how do you know our y/n?” Jungkook grins with all his teeth.
“I—”
“He’s a customer at work—”
“Yeah, I like to go to her bakery.”
Jungkook raises a brow, “Yeah the treats are good I guess.”
“Well, I don’t just go for the cookies.” Yoongi says, looking in your direction.
“Oh?” Jungkook sets his cup of ice cream down, “Oh.” He says again once realization hits him.
Vanessa glances up from her phone and smiles a smile that is void of all emotion at you and Yoongi, she sets the phone down and claps her hands softly a few times.
“So this is a date.”
“No—”
“Yes.”
You snap your head towards Yoongi with a shocked eyes. Did he just say this is a date? Then he’s smiling at you with apologetic eyes.
“I mean, I would like it to be.”
Your head immediately faces forward to see Jungkook’s reaction. He looks as shocked and confused as you, you begin shaking your head.
“Uh…um…” you say, your eyes still on Jungkook. He looks between you and Yoongi then he frowns. Fucking frowns!
“We can discuss that later.” You finally say, laughing awkwardly. Jungkook turns towards Vanessa and glares at her, fucking glares.
“What?” She mouths innocently, going back to her phone.
“Anyway,” you try to break the awkward tension, “I think me and Yoongi are going to head out actually.”
“We just sat down?” Jungkook looks at you with his big, stupid doe eyes and you almost want to stay but you know what’s for the best.
“I’ll walk you back to the store?” Yoongi asks from beside you.
You nod your head in agreeance, standing to your feet while Yoongi follows. Jungkook stands up too, not ready for you to leave.
“I’ll see you later?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.
You hesitate for a moment but end up nodding your head in approval.
“Uh, bye Vanessa.” You force out, your voice a little loud as you bid your farewells to her.
Vanessa continues tapping on her phone but uses one hand to wave you off.
This fucking bitch. What does Jungkook see in her? You just don’t see the appeal? Yeah, she’s gorgeous. But is that all I takes for Jungkook?
“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes and Jungkook looks at you sympathetically. He will scold Vanessa later.
You and Yoongi take it slow walking back to the bakery. You two walking idly, and stopping by other shops just for the fun of it.
“About what I said earlier…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Yoongi is messing with a scarf on the mannequin inside this little boutique.
“You didn’t. I was just…surprised is all.”
“Is Jungkook like, your ex-boyfriend or something?” Yoongi doesn’t waste any time apparently. “Because you guys seem to have some history.” How can he tell you have history?!
“Sorry, I’m just a really observant person.” He chuckles.
“Um, no but we were best friends but some things happened and…” you hesitate to continue, “And…”
“It’s okay. Life has complications remember? But there’s still happy moments. So, tell me what’s not complicated about you two?”
“I love him.” you blurt out. “Wait, wait. I mean. Fuck. I mean—”
“That’s normal. He was your best friend, right?”
You sigh out in relief, your deep exhale heard throughout the whole shop.
“Exactly.”
“Are you still best friends?”
“That’s the complicated part.” You breathe out, “But does he still mean the most to me? Yeah.”
“I see.” Yoongi takes the scarf and wraps it around your neck, “I had someone like that too.” He smiles. “But I was in love with them.”
You choke on your spit, what is Yoongi…is he…does he know?
“Oh.” You decide to laugh, “But that’s not the case with me and Jungkook.”
“Never said it was.” He inspects the scarf around your neck, “You should get this,” he motions towards the scarf, “It looks good on you.”
“It’s summer time!” you laugh, “But thanks.” Your phone starts buzzing, you pull it from your back pocket to get a look at it.
Jungkook 7:42pm
Hey
Jungkook 7:42pm
Wanna come over later? Nick isn’t home
Jungkook 7:42pm
I know you said no solo hang outs but I thought I would give it a shot
Does this mean he’s ending his night early with Vanessa? If so, you may throw the whole rule away about no solo hang outs. You just cannot stand her. You don’t want to say you hate her but you do hate her attitude and honestly, overall personality.
You look over to Yoongi who is messing with the material of some cardigan, and you almost feel bad if you decide to ditch him. But your night was ending anyway, right?
y/n 7:45pm
hmm, sure. I’ll be over at 9, does that work?
Jungkook 7:45pm
Yes.
You slide your phone back into your pocket and head towards Yoongi and his new cardigan that you are assuming he is buying consider how smitten he looks with it.
“It’s nice, right?” he says holding up the piece of clothing.
“Try it on!”
“Don’t forget to come by the record store sometime y/n, since you’re a human being who loves music.” Yoongi chuckles, he leans forward and you share a cute yet awkward hug.
“Bye Yoongi. I’ll def be by.”
You unlock your car and step inside, sitting down. Yoongi shuts the car door for you and smiles and waves you goodbye as he starts heading towards his own car.
Tonight was nice, weird, then nice again. You definitely won’t use Yoongi to distract yourself from Jungkook but you definitely feel like you made a friend. He gave you some words of wisdom and comfort, that you really needed to hear. You feel like Yoongi could become someone important in your life.
~~~~~
Jungkook 9:14pm
When will you be here?
y/n 9:15pm
be there in 15.
Jungkook steps out of the shower, his towel hanging dangerously low around his hips as he takes a look in his fogged up mirror.
“You can do this.” He tells himself, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
He can hang out with you like things are back to normal. He can hang out with you like you guys are still just best fucking friends. But he hasn’t seen you since you were sick, since you had your hand in a dangerous place. Since he dreamed of you while in bed with you.
He can be normal. Like he didn’t fuck Vanessa and moan out your name the entire time. He groans and cringes just remembering that. Vanessa assured him it was fine but that just makes him feel worse. He feels guilt ridden while she remains coy and sickingly sweet.
Apparently, Jungkook got lucky. But will it be this way with every girl he’s with from now on? That’s unacceptable.
Soft knocking can be heard from the front door and a chime from his phone goes off. You must be here, he thinks.
He doesn’t have time to dress so he decided to say fuck it and open the door this way, it’s not like you haven’t seen this view before…you lived together.
He approaches the door, taking a long, deep breath before he’s swinging it open and letting you in.
You’re wearing leggings and one of his t shirts, his chest tightens at the sight. Jungkook quickly apologizes for not being dressed and you nod your head slowly, taking in his more than half naked appearance.
You flush at the sight, his towel doing barely anything to cover the outline of his length, and shit, the towel is short on him…his monstrous thighs flexing underneath. Your mouth waters as you shamelessly eye him up and down.
“Yeah…” you choke out, “Probably should get dressed…”
You make yourself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, some random movie is on TV and you mindlessly watch.
“Sorry about that” Jungkook laughs. He walks to the sofa, sitting beside you but with enough space. “You got here sooner than I thought.”
“Well, I live pretty close.” You point out, your face angled towards him. “So what’s up?” “Nothing, I just wanted to see you.” Jungkook eyes light up, “Oh! I have wine!”
You nod approvingly, “Now we’re talkin’ baby.”
Jungkook rushes to the kitchen to find two wine glasses and fills them to the brim, he walks back to the sofa and hands you a glass.
“I know you said no one on one hang outs but thanks for coming.”
“I’ll make an exception this time” you wink, bringing the glass to your lips. You nod at one another as each of you take a generous gulp.
“Aaahhh, alcohol.” You say in unison. Then you look at one another and burst into a giggle.
“How were your plans?” you pry. You set the glass down between your thighs as you move your body to face him, giving him your full attention.
“Uh…” Jungkook doesn’t know what to say.
“It’s just…” the words die on his tongue. He sends them to the graveyard as he sits back on the sofa and shuts his pretty mouth.
“You guys didn’t have fun?” you pry further. You want to know, for some reason you want to know what him and Vanessa were up to.
“Did you guys like, hang out after the ice cream place?”
“Not really…we…kind of hung out but it was quick.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“A quickie, huh?” you joke, but you wonder if that’s what it really was.
“y/n.” he warns, his hands go to massage his exposed thighs, his shorts doing little to cover all his muscles.
“I’d kill myself for a quickie, it’s been so long.” You decide to be honest, you’re trying to be like normal friends again.
Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks at you, “Don’t say stuff like that.”
“Right, sorry.” You pat his shoulder, “But really, it’s been forever.” You say again.
“Um, when was the last—”
“Taehyung.”
Jungkook’s frown deepens, “When’s the last time you spoke to him?”
“Maybe a week ago? He sends me texts occasionally.”
“You talk to him?!” Jungkook howls out, his hands gripping his shorts.
“It’s more like he talks to me.” You chuckle. “What about you? When is the last time you talked to him?”
“Umm…”
“What?”
“About a day after you told me everything.” Jungkook’s eyes slide to the side, a look of guilt plastered on his face.
“You went and talked to him after?” the shock is evident in your voice.
“Something like that…” Jungkook scratches the top of his head, deciding if he should tell you the truth. He decides to be honest.
“I went over there to kick his ass.”
“Jungkook!” you blink at him repeatedly, until you’re snorting. “And how did that go?”
“Gave him a black eye.”
“And you?”
“Got a busted lip from it.” He admits, even though you can tell he didn’t want to say that last part.
“Fighting is never the answer.”
“He deserved it, y/n.”
“And did you deserve the busted lip?”
“Yeah.”
You weren’t expecting him to agree with that so quickly, you were just joking around. You realize Jungkook is probably still trying to forgive himself, like he once told you.
“Well, everything’s okay now right?”
“Is it y/n?” he doesn’t look at you. He only stares straight ahead.
“Jung—”
“I am still so sorry…” Jungkook exhales deeply, his hand finds its way to yours.
You tangle your fingers through his, until they’re interlocked.
“I know, Jungkook.”
“I’m trying so hard to…” Jungkook faces you, his frown making you wince. “…make this right.”
“I know, Jungkook.”
“I’m trying to…” he chokes on his words, his breathing becoming slightly unsteady, “…work this out.”
“Jungkook—”
“I’m trying.”
His palm in your hand becomes so sweaty and you almost want to detangle so you can wipe your hand on your yoga pants. But you keep holding on to his hand, his guilt very apparent to you right now.
You scoot closer to him until your knees are touching, you place yours and Jungkook’s hands in your lap.
“And we’re making it work, we’re taking it slow.”
“It almost feels like our friendship has started over y/n.” Jungkook’s voice cracks, “Like, I don’t remember how to be like we use to be…”
“I told you Jungkook, things probably wouldn’t be the same.” You squeeze his hand in yours, “But that’s okay. We…”
Jungkook looks at you with his doe eyes and you want to melt. You want to melt into a puddle on the floor.
“It may not be the same but could it be better this time around?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.
“I hope so baby.” Your other hand reaches forward and caresses Jungkook’s cheek and he leans into your touch, he breathes out, his breaths hitting your palm and you feel yourself getting hotter.
“You rarely call me baby.” Jungkook whispers. “Only time you really did is when we—”
“When we what, Jungkook?” you challenge, your hard stare making him shiver.
“I don’t have to say it.” He says. “Look, wanna get fucking wasted?”
You look at him for a few moments, just staring into his eyes before you crack a smile.
“I dare you to chug your entire glass of wine.” You point at the wine glass with your chin.
“Only if you chug yours.” Jungkook winks.
“Wow, aren’t we some classy bitches?” you joke.
You both clink your glasses together and begin chugging the wine back, the bitter flavor making you wanna puke but you handle it just fine.
“Phew, that was something” you say, trying not to throw up. “wow I am not young anymore, or what?”
“Yup, you’re an old lady. I chugged it like a champ.” Jungkook grins, setting his glass on the table in front of the couch.
“If we aren’t tipsy within the next 5 minutes I am punching someone.”
“I’m starting to wish Nick was home now, I don’t want to fall victim to your fists of fury.”
After several more glasses of wine has been drank, you find yourself snuggling close to Jungkook on the sofa.
“I thought you said no affection.” Jungkook slurs out, teasing you.
“Oh? Should I move away?”
Jungkook pulls you by the arm, making your body fall forward into his side. Closer and closer.
“Never.” Jungkook lays his head on top of yours. “Wanna go lay in bed? More comfortable.”
“Yes yes, sleep over.” You cheer drunkenly. Jungkook stands up and helps you to your feet as well. You fall forward into his arms and he has to half carry you to his room.
Jungkook has the same blue comforter on his bed and it brings you back to a million memories. You wonder how many times Vanessa has been tangled up in this blanket? You don’t even want to ask Jungkook if the sheets are clean…you don’t want to think about him with her.
“Come lay with me.” You slur out as you slip between the sheets. “I want to cuddle.”
“Coming, just gonna grab some water for us.”
“Kay” you respond lazily.
You look around Jungkook’s room, it looks exactly as his last room in the apartment you two shared. Somehow that makes you happy, like not much has changed.
“Okay, drink this.” Jungkook is nudging a glass of water between your lips but you refuse.
“Mm mm.” you shake your head.
“Be a good girl for me.” Jungkook says in a low voice, you blink up at him, opening your mouth to drink the water.
“Good.”
He sets the water down on the nightstand and sinks into bed with you, leaving the lamp on so there’s a nice, warm glow lighting up the room. You immediately snuggle close, your head nuzzling his chest.
“So…was that a date tonight?” Jungkook finds the drunken balls to ask you, finally.
“No.” you answer honestly. “But it could turn out that way.”
You don’t know why you say that. Maybe in hopes to make Jungkook jealous? But why would he be jealous?
“How so?”
“He’s a nice guy.”
“Pshh, I’ll be the judge of that.”
“He is, Jungkook.”
“So you give any nice guy a chance?” Jungkook slurs out. “I can be nice…” he says, barely above a whisper.
“Tell me 3 nice things then.” Your hand lays rest over his stomach, you rub circles on it and he sighs out.
“You’re…” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip as he thinks, “Really beautiful.” He turns to lay on his side to face you. “Really smart.” His breaths are mingling with your own. “And really funny.”
“What generic answers.” You laugh. “But I’ll take them” you look up into his eyes, they’re dark and beautiful. “Should I compliment you too?” you ask, your drunk mind giving you confidence.
“Yes please.”
“You’re really, like really fun to be with.” Your fingers brush some of his hair out of his eyes, “You make me laugh a lot. And I think you’re really sexy.” You chuckle.
“Sexy?” he slurs out, licking his lips over and over as he watches you nod your head.
“Yeah.” Your hand goes back to his stomach, your fingers go under his shirt, brushing your fingers over his sensitive skin and he releases a long breath as he slowly closes his eyes.
“y/n…” Jungkook whines out quietly, his erratic breaths not going unnoticed by you.
“You like being touched by me?” you whisper.
“Yes.”
You know you are both too drunk right now but you cannot help but continue.
Your fingers dip lower, caressing his lower belly, your touch so light he almost doesn’t feel it. But he does feel it. He feels it.
That same hand crawls up his chest and goes behind his head, gripping a handful of hair and slightly tugging his locks, Jungkook whimpers at the feeling.
Jungkook’s hips rut forward and you feel yourself getting hotter. Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut when you tug his hair again, this time pulling his head back to expose his throat.
Your other hand reaches up and with your pointer finger you drag it from his lips down his throat until you reach his collar bones then you slowly, very slowy drag that same finger down his chest and his toned stomach.
Jungkook tries to steady his breathing but he can’t. Your own breathing not much better. You decide to retreat both hands back to your sides when Jungkook’s eyes shoot open.
He looks down at you, his eyes dark and dreamy.
“You think you can just tease me like that?” Jungkook’s voice is the lowest you’ve heard it. “Huh, y/n?”
Your name slips past his lips in a low, seductive tone and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs together. You’re drunk, you keep reminding yourself. You should stop this. But—
“What are you going to do about it Jeon?”
Jungkook glares at you before he’s smirking, his hands circle around your waist and he pulls you into his body, your chest flush against his. You feel his hard length against your stomach and you swear right then and there you become undeniably wet.
Jungkook just stares at you, stares into your eyes, stares at your lips until he’s breathing so erratically. Your harsh breaths hit his skin and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. Your lips so close yet so far.
“We’re drunk.” He slurs out, but there is amusement in his voice.
“Drunk people do things they’re not supposed to all the time.” You tease.
Jungkook’s go from your waist to your hips real quick, he pulls them closer to his crotch. You feel how hard he is at your center and you want to moan out right then and there. The clothed contact feels so fucking good.
“Jung—”
Jungkook desperately brings you in close, his lips connecting with yours. His mouth is warm and moving against yours messily and aggressively. You pause the kiss to moan but then dive right back in. He ruts his hips forward, you feel how desperate he is and you find yourself grinding your hips into his. The pleasure on a whole other level, his clothed cock rubbing against you so deliciously.
His tongue finds its way into your mouth, he plays with your tongue, tangling them together. You continue to moan out, your hands exploring the front of his body until you hand finds its way back into his hair. You know he loves to have his hair pulled, you do. You tug it gently at first, he disconnects his mouth from yours to groan out. Then you’re pulling it a little harder and he’s rutting against you faster. He guides your head to expose your neck to him and he begins sucking bruises, leaving his pretty art work behind.
“y/n.” your name gets dragged out between his teeth and you swear you become even wetter. You yank his head forward until his lips are on yours again, you kiss him over and over until he’s begging to be touched.
But you don’t touch him, no. You just continue to kiss him, like your life depends on it. Your lips move from his mouth to his neck, you suck on his skin as he whimpers out.
Jungkook’s hands grab a hold of your ass, grinding you closer into his crotch and you moan at the feeling. You never knew this much action with clothes on could feel so fucking good.
“Love this ass.” He massages your cheeks and gives them a light spank. You whisper his name over and over, your lips attacking his neck again. You two move desperately against one another, he finds your lips again and kisses you wet and sloppy and you couldn’t be more turned on.
And next thing you know the sun is making its way through his blinds and it’s morning. You’re dead asleep in Jungkook’s arms. The boy snoozing away as well. You two completely oblivious to last night’s adventures.
You begin to open your eyes, taking in your surroundings. That’s right, you’re in Jungkook’s room. You look all around the room until your eyes land on him. You smile softly until you see it. A purple bruise blooming on his neck…several in fact. And last night’s events hit you like a fucking train.
You quickly sit up in bed, panic filling your body when Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep, your action waking him up. He opens his own eyes and sees you staring down at him.
He notices his own evidence of his attack on your neck and goes pale. Then he says the words you’ve been thinking.
“Oh fuck.”
730 notes · View notes
dekuskacchan · 3 years
Text
i will follow you into the dark
Rating: T
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Fluff
Summary: Izuku has finally returned to UA, and Katsuki will never let him go again.
Or: Izuku and Katsuki finally discuss their feelings.
A/N: Hi again, friends! Since chapter 322 is out now and dominating all of our lives, I felt inspired to write. This is intended to be a sequel to my fic "Tell Me I'm Dreaming," and takes place immediately after the events of chapter 322. So, spoilers are ahead for that chapter! I hope you like it <3
I'd also like to note: Izuku ate and took a bath when he got back, I just couldn't figure out how to work that in. Fear not, he is a clean and fed boy :')
AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33153718
-
Katsuki watches the gentle rise and fall of Izuku’s chest as he sleeps, undoubtedly for the first time in days. He’d fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow on the small bed in Recovery Girl’s office, and hasn’t budged since.
In the 12 hours Izuku has been back at UA, Katsuki has left his side once, only with substantial convincing from Glasses and Shitty Hair.
“Dude, he’ll probably be out cold for a few more hours. At least go scarf down some food and take a nap,” Shitty Hair said.
“Shut the fuck up,” Katsuki retorted, “I ate this morning. And I have slept.”
Kirishima let out an exasperated sigh that irritated Katsuki to no end.
“Did you come here just to piss me off?” he snapped.
“We are concerned for your well being, just as we are Midoriya’s,” Iida said, “you haven’t fully recovered from your own injuries yet. You need to rest.”
“I said I was fucking fine.”
Iida looked at him with knowing eyes and a gentle smile. It annoyed Katsuki even more.
“He won’t disappear if you stop watching him, Bakugou."
“Yeah. We’ll stay with him,” Kirishima added with a thumbs up.
Katsuki gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, they were right. His empty stomach only served to fuel his anger more.
“I hear they’re serving spicy curry for lunch in the cafeteria,” Iida coaxed.
Katsuki had relented at that point, not because it was his favorite, of course, the growling in his stomach was just giving him away.
Katsuki returned less than an hour later. Kirishima and Iida admittedly had reassured him, to some degree, but it wasn’t enough to quell his anxiety. Iida scolded him for refusing to rest, but did nothing to stop him, as if he knew his efforts were futile. The pair stayed with Katsuki at Izuku’s bedside a while longer, but left him to his devices nonetheless.
Half and Half stopped by some time later, tapping on Katsuki’s shoulder and waking him from a restless sleep in a shitty plastic chair at Izuku’s bedside.
“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable to sleep in your bed, Bakugou?” he asked, sitting in a chair adjacent to him.
“I was sleeping just fine before you fucking showed up, you Half and Half bastard,” Katsuki snarled.
“I’ve been here for an hour and a half, actually,” Todoroki stated. Always so fucking deadpan.
“Why the fuck did you wake me up now then?”
“You looked uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine, asshole,” Katsuki grumbled. Todoroki looked unconvinced.
“I figured you would say that. Here, I brought you this,” Todoroki produced a blanket from behind his chair and handed it to Katsuki.
“I don’t need your fucking charity," Katsuki grumbled, but accepted it anyway, silently grateful for refuge from the chill in the room.
“It’s no trouble,” Todoroki patted his shoulder.
“Tch.” Katsuki shrugged him off.
They sat in silence for a while. Izuku still hadn’t budged. Katsuki was worried, but some part of him was thankful that Izuku was finally fucking resting.
“Everyone is proud of you, you know,” Todoroki said quietly.
“Haah?!”
“It took courage, what you did. We know it’s not easy for you to express your emotions,” he paused, considering his next words, “it... doesn’t come naturally to me, either.”
“No shit!” Katsuki barked. Todoroki raised a finger to his lips to shush him and nodded at Izuku, who had grunted in his sleep.
“I’m just saying, your efforts aren’t unseen. We know you’ve been working hard, and that this has been weighing on you for a long time. If it weren’t for you, Midoriya might not have listened to us.”
“You don’t know shit,” Katsuki grumbled, averting his eyes. Katsuki was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t good at this shit, and Todoroki knew it, so why wouldn’t he shut up?
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can change the topic,” Todoroki said, as if he could read Katsuki’s mind.
“Or we could stop fucking talking altogether,”
Todoroki smiled and nodded, returning his gaze to Izuku. Katsuki’s eyes followed and he frowned.
“He’s such a fucking idiot,” Katsuki muttered, leaning forward in his chair and resting his chin on his hand. Todoroki chuckled.
“He is certainly reckless,” Todoroki nodded, “I’m disappointed to learn he felt he had to keep such a big secret. But, he is my friend, and I will continue to be as supportive as I can. He would do the same for us.”
“No, he’d do more, and end up getting himself fucking killed."
“That’s…" Todoroki frowned, "probably true."
They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Todoroki fucking piped up again, much to Katsuki’s dismay.
“I know Midoriya appreciated what you said,” his voice was soft.
“Words don’t matter. Actions do,” Katsuki’s response was immediate.
“Well your actions have spoken clearly. “You're a better person than you think you are, Bakugou.”
Katsuki whipped his head to glare at Todoroki with an insult on his tongue, but he found himself speechless instead, staring with an incredulous look on his face. He mentally kicked himself for it.
“I just hope you know that, too,” Todoroki offered a half-smile.
Katsuki was frustratingly taken aback. He averted his eyes and looked at the ground with a scowl. That damn fucking Half and Half.
Todoroki thankfully shut his mouth after that. Katsuki wasn’t sure how long they sat together in silence. It wasn’t until the sun had set and the room began to fill with darkness that he heard Todoroki rise from his seat.
“I’m going to go lie down. You should, too,” Todoroki said plainly.
Katsuki sighed. He was right, but there was a sickeningly uneasy feeling in his gut whenever he thought about leaving that he just couldn’t shake.
“I…I can’t,” he whispered.
“Okay.”
Todoroki patted his shoulder again, and Katsuki didn’t push him away this time.
“Thanks,” Katsuki shrugged, “for the blanket or whatever.”
Todoroki nodded. He left the door cracked behind him on his way out.
Katsuki pulls the blanket around himself and reclines in his chair, putting his feet up on Todoroki’s abandoned one. It’s really fucking uncomfortable, but Katsuki knows it would be impossible to sleep if he were anywhere else.
After too many attempts to reposition himself comfortably, Katsuki groans and sits up straight, turning his head to watch Izuku again. He’s still sleeping soundly.
Katsuki leans forward and, without thinking, brushes his hand through Izuku’s hair, pushing back a few stray curls. The moonlight flickering through the blinds illuminates his face, and Katsuki thinks that, somehow, this is the most peaceful he’s seen Izuku in ages.
Katsuki can’t remember the last time Izuku wasn’t at least slightly on edge. He is always looking over his shoulder, as if he’s expecting the enemy to be watching. He spends every minute of his free time training or muttering to himself about battle strategies. The nerd doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “relax.”
Katsuki slides his hand down to cup Izuku’s cheek. His skin is soft and warm, just like last time, and he can’t help but feel an awful sense of dèjá vu. He stays that way for a few moments, just reveling in the fact that Izuku is really here. This isn't a dream, he’s finally here, and Katsuki will never fucking let him go again.
When Katsuki reluctantly moves to pull away, Izuku reaches up to grab his hand, nuzzling into it.
Katsuki is startled, as Izuku is seemingly still asleep. He brushes Izuku’s cheekbone with the backs of his fingers, and swears he sees the ghost of a smile on his lips.
“You’re a dumbass,” Katsuki mumbles, propping his elbow on the bed to rest his head in his free hand.
“I can hear you, Kacchan.”
Katsuki jolts up in surprise to see Izuku staring at him with one eye cracked open and a smirk on his lips.
“Shit, did I wake you?” Katsuki tries again to pull his arm away, but Izuku holds on tight, as if Katsuki is his lifeline and he’s barely hanging on.
“D-don’t go,” Izuku stutters, burying his face in Katsuki’s hand. Katsuki caresses his cheek again and frowns when he finds wetness there.
“Are you crying?” Katsuki asks, though he’s not sure why, because he already knows the answer.
“N-no,” Izuku sniffles. Katsuki rolls his eyes and sighs.
“Hey, look at me,” Katsuki whispers, lifting his free hand to Izuku’s other cheek and turning his head to face him.
Izuku whimpers, holding Katsuki’s arms in a vice grip as he looks up. His eyes are sunken and glassy, overflowing with tears that Katsuki wipes away with his thumbs.
Fuck, he looks like a fucking zombie. His face is paler than usual and littered with scratches, and heavy, dark circles line his eyes. Katsuki suppresses a sudden urge to wrap him in his arms and hold him tight.
“What’s wrong?” Katsuki murmurs, stroking his cheeks in what he hopes is a soothing manner.
Izuku’s face contorts and a new wave of tears begin to fall.
“I-I’m so s-sorry Kacchan,” he snivels.
Katsuki holds his face tighter.
“I told you, we get it. Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve already done plenty of that.”
Izuku chokes a laugh through a broken sob and Katsuki counts it as a small victory.
“I a-am pretty messed up, h-huh?” Izuku hiccups, “but so are you.”
“Tch. I’m fine,” Katsuki lies, feeling a familiar twinge of pain in his side.
“I kn-know you better than that, Kacchan,” Izuku meets Katsuki’s gaze, “d-don’t think I didn’t see you bleeding back there.”
“I was bleeding. I’m not anymore, see?” Katsuki points to his newly applied bandages, “The old lady patched me up.”
Recovery Girl had given Katsuki a thorough scolding for tearing his wounds. Something about being too reckless, to stop throwing himself in front of danger because isn't it hypocritical of you to tell Midoriya to look after himself, but you won't do the same? That had pissed Katsuki off to no end, but he’d accepted her help anyway.
“Y-you could’ve hurt yourself-”
“But I didn’t! Quit worrying about everyone else,” Katsuki looks Izuku dead in the eyes, “think about your goddamn self for once.”
Izuku shakes his head frantically.
“I can’t. I said so many terrible things I- I h-have to apologize-,” Izuku tries to get up, but Katsuki is lightning fast as he moves to sit on the bed in front of him, gripping his shoulders to hold him in place.
“You can do that later. You need to fucking relax. Did you forget you were beaten to a pulp?” Katsuki reminds him.
“Kacchan, I’m f-”
“Don’t fucking say you’re fine! You’re not, and you know it.”
“It doesn’t matter, Kacchan!” Izuku shouts,“I can’t- I can’t just sit here while everyone else is-”
“Everyone is safe,” Katsuki lightly shakes him, “and we’re safer if we're together.”
Izuku presses the heels of his hands to his eyes.
“It doesn’t matter,” Izuku repeats himself. His voice is shaking. “I ne-”
“Shut the fuck up. You matter,” Katsuki says firmly, pulling Izuku’s hands away and holding onto them.
Izuku weakly lifts his head to meet Katsuki’s eyes. He looks taken aback, and even more exhausted than before, but Izuku is just as stubborn as Katsuki is, and Katsuki can tell he still has an argument left in him.
“Izuku,” Katsuki watches Izuku's eyes widen as he utters his name for a second time. It feels foreign on his tongue, but he knows the weight it carries, and he'll say it over and over if it makes Izuku happy.
Katsuki pushes back the hair that’s fallen in front of Izuku's face and knocks their foreheads together.
“Izuku,” he repeats, “ You fucking matter,” there’s a sharpness to Katsuki’s tone he hadn’t intended, but he can tell Izuku gets the message. He swears he sees the color return to Izuku’s bloodshot eyes before they squeeze shut, overflowing with new tears.
Izuku buries his head in Katsuki’s chest and wails. Katsuki immediately wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight embrace, ignoring the aching pain in his injured shoulder and side.
“I-I’m s-so sorry,” Izuku’s entire body shakes as he clings to Katsuki. Katsuki holds him tighter, rubbing gentle circles on his back.
“Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Katsuki murmurs, trying his best to soothe him, but Izuku only cries harder. Katsuki’s own eyes begin to burn.
“It’s s’not o-okay, Kac-chan,” Izuku stutters.
“Nobody is mad at you."
“Th-they should b-be,” Izuku insists miserably
“Well they’re not.”
“I think All M-might is.”
“Haah?! The fuck kind of reason does All Might have to be mad at you?” Katsuki is baffled. “I should fucking clock him in the face again.”
“Y-you punched All Might?!” Izuku lifts his chin to stare incredulously at Katsuki.
“Damn right I did. But that’s beside the point. Why the fuck’s he mad?”
Izuku hides his face again, his voice muffled by Katsuki’s now damp shirt and his own sobs, “I w-was so mean t-to him. I told him I d-didn’t need him anymore and r-ran away, I-”
“Breathe, Dek- Izuku,” Katsuki whispers, brushing Izuku’s cheek with his fingers as Izuku begins to hyperventilate. “Breathe. He’s not mad, he’s probably just worried.” He better not be fucking mad.
“I-I have to t-talk to him too,”
“It can wait. Right now you need to fucking rest.”
They stay that way for a while, wrapped in the safety of each other’s arms as Izuku’s cries slowly start to dissipate. At some point, Katsuki isn’t sure when, traitorous tears start to roll down his own face. Izuku notices before he does, feeling the sudden moisture on his shoulder, and he tells him so.
“I’m not fucking crying,” Katsuki grumbles, though his voice is hoarse.
“It’s o-okay Kacchan,”
“Shit,” Now they’re both blubbering idiots.
Izuku squeezes Katsuki tighter as they cry together. Katsuki tries not to wince as he returns the gesture, his shoulder screaming in protest, but Izuku notices. Of course he fucking notices.
“K-Kacchan-,” Izuku’s voice is laced with unnecessary concern as he immediately loosens his grip and starts to pull back.
“Don’t,” Katsuki growls, rubbing his eyes, “Don’t fucking worry about me.”
Izuku sniffles and shakes his head, “I c-can’t help it.”
Katsuki heaves a sigh. “I know.”
Izuku places his shaky, scarred hands on either side of Katsuki’s face in a gentle caress that makes Katsuki’s heart fucking squeeze. When he finally lifts his eyes, he finds Izuku looking at him with a wobbly smile. His cheeks are tear-stained and there's a trace of something haunted behind his eyes, but it's undeniable that a weight has lifted from his shoulders.
Katskui quirks his lips in a half smile. Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.
Izuku yawns and lies back in the bed. “I’m tired again.”
“Well, get some sleep then, nerd,” Katsuki moves to slide back in his chair, but Izuku stops him, grabbing his hand.
“Wait! I- could-” Izuku bites his lip, “could you...stay with me?”
Katsuki squeezes his hand. “I’m not going anywhere, nerd. Someone has to keep your ass in line," he smirks.
Izuku laughs, the first real laugh Katsuki has heard in ages, and Katsuki thinks it might be his favorite sound.
“No, I mean here, next to me,” Izuku scoots over in the bed and pats the space next to him.
“I don’t think-”
“Just until I fall asleep,” Izuku pleads, “...please?”
Katsuki finally relents and slides in next to him. Izuku looks relieved, draping the blanket around them both and curling up to Katsuki’s uninjured side. Katsuki wraps his arm around Izuku’s waist, careful not to dislodge the bandages there. He briefly wonders why this feels so natural.
Izuku’s voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks next. “I- I’m scared, Kacchan.”
“I know. But everything’s gonna be fine."
“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”
“No one’s gonna get hurt. We’re gonna figure this out, and we’re gonna figure it out together.”
“I really shouldn’t be here,” Izuku sighs.
“Shut the fuck up. You really wanna be out there? Where people are lookin’ to wring your neck at every turn?”
“Of course not! But that’s exactly why I should be. No one here is safe while I’m around.”
Izuku startles when Katsuki suddenly grabs his chin and lifts it up with his free hand to make Izuku look him in the eyes “Bullshit. I already told you, you can’t win this alone. So stop trying."
Izuku swallows hard, on the verge of tears again. Katsuki tucks Izuku's head under his chin.
"Saving people is how we win, remember? That means you gotta let us save you sometimes, too." Katsuki holds Izuku tight as he cries, gently combing his fingers through thick green curls.
“You should be here," Katsuki continues, "you belong here, Izuku." With me, he adds, but only in his thoughts.
Izuku stills and lifts his head from Katsuki’s chest to stare at him with wide, curious eyes. He's no longer crying. “Kacchan?”
“What?” Katsuki is confused as he watches Izuku’s cheeks flush a deep red.
“I belong with...you?”
Fuck, did he say that out loud?
Katsuki suddenly becomes very aware of their proximity and feels his own face heat.
Their faces are already inches apart, and Izuku is coming closer, cupping Katsuki's cheeks with freezing cold hands. He's close enough that Katsuki can feel Izuku’s heartbeat, his breath on his nose, and fuck, when did their legs tangle together?
Izuku’s thumb lightly strokes his cheekbone and Katsuki finds himself inadvertently leaning into his touch. His breath catches in his throat when he finally meets his gaze. Izuku’s eyes are soft and warm and he’s smiling, a real smile that is secretly Katsuki’s favorite, one that he hasn't seen in far too long. He decides he would sooner die than see it extinguished ever again.
He's embarrassed by his accidental confession, but something about the way Izuku is looking at him, with that soft gaze full of light and wonderment Katsuki knows is reserved only for him, makes the anxiety melt away. The eyes that used to infuriate him now leave him feeling warm and safe, like he has a place in this world, and he realizes there's nowhere he'd rather fucking be than right by Izuku's side.
"Did you mean that?" Izuku whispers, breaking him from his reverie.
“Yeah. Stay with me,” Katsuki grazes his fingers across Izuku's cheek. "...please."
Izuku's smile is breathtaking. It lights a fire in Katsuki's chest.
"I will," Izuku breathes, leaning in to close the distance between them.
Their lips meet halfway in a desperate kiss and a jolt of electricity courses through Katsuki's body. Izuku's hands tangle into Katsuki's hair and Katsuki cradles his face as they explore each other for the first time. It's messy and uncoordinated, but Izuku's lips are soft and inviting and nothing has ever felt so fucking right.
Katsuki's hold on Izuku's waist tightens, pulling him closer, but it's still not close enough. They've been through a decade of miscommunication and separation, unchecked feelings, and the debilitating fear of losing each other. Now that Izuku is here, safe in his arms, Katsuki wants nothing more than to stay in the warmth of this moment forever, to melt into each other and never let go again.
"K-Kacchan," Izuku pants as he slowly pulls away. Oh, right, breathing.
He presses his forehead to Katsuki's as they gasp for air, and they cling to each other as if the other could disappear at any moment.
Katsuki's head is spinning as he looks at Izuku. His cheeks have flushed deeper, lips kissed red and swollen, eyes blown wide as he stares in amazement.
"I missed you," Izuku whispers between heavy breaths.
"Me too,"
Katsuki tucks Izuku's head into the crook of his neck and holds him tight.
“I am….glad to be back,” Izuku murmurs, “it was terrifying out there. I was so exhausted."
No shit, Katsuki thinks.
"Do you want to...talk about it?"
"I-" Izuku pauses, considering. His voice is small when he says, "Maybe later. I don't...I don't want to think about it right now."
Katsuki laces the fingers of one hand with Izuku's and squeezes.
"Okay. But, uh, I'm here if you do. Want to talk or whatever." Katsuki tries his best to sound encouraging. Izuku tilts his head up and nods with a smile.
“Okay.”
There's still so much Katsuki wants to say, but he can't put it into words. He's always been better with actions. He thinks back on all that he said before Izuku passed out in his arms, and wonders if it was enough.
Out of the corner of his eye, Katsuki notices Izuku peering up at him.
“What are you staring at, nerd?” Katsuki smirks as Izuku averts his eyes, color blooming on his face again.
“I- I’m not, I just- thank you, Kacchan.”
"For what?"
“For everything.”
Katsuki shrugs. “I didn’t do shit."
"Yes you did," Izuku brushes a lock of hair behind Katsuki's ear, "you're here right now. You listened, you encouraged me, you made me feel safe enough to come back here. I wouldn’t have had the strength without you.”
Katsuki is at a loss for words.
"Todoroki was right, you know," Izuku says softly, "you're better than you think you are."
Katsuki feels his face flush and looks away. But then it dawns on him.
"You were listening to us?"
"Uh- just a little...only bits and pieces."
"You were awake? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want to interrupt you," Izuku shrugs. "You and Todoroki never talk, it seemed important. Plus, I was so out of it I thought I was dreaming at first."
"So you were just eavesdropping like a creep?" He teases, snickering when Izuku buries his face in embarrassment.
"I'd rather talk to you than that Half and Half bastard, dumbass," Katsuki ruffles Izuku's hair.
"Sorry, Kacchan."
"Quit apologizing."
Normally he probably would be pissed, but there isn’t even a trace of anger in him right now.
"I'm not the only one who's reckless, by the way," Izuku playfully nudges Katsuki.
"I'm not fucking reckless."
Izuku frowns. "Kacchan, you were stabbed. And you tore open your wounds trying to get to me when you should've been taking it easy. You took off into battle without a second thought."
"Sounds familiar," Katsuki glares at him.
"I know. I admit I don't always think things through….and sometimes I think too much. I never put myself first. You made me realize that. I'm...going to try to work on it. But you can't deny that you do it sometimes too."
Katsuki is silent again.
"And when was the last time you ate? Or slept somewhere other than a tiny chair? You tell me I need to take better care of myself, but you don't do the same."
"I'm fine." Katsuki insists, but Izuku knows him better than he knows himself and sees right through the lie.
Katsuki sighs. Deep down, he knows Izuku and the old lady are right. Sometimes... he can be a dumbass and a hypocrite.
"My body…I told you, it moved on it's own. I just saw you in the air and fucking panicked. You were about to die," Katsuki’s voice shakes, “You were about to die, and it was like… like my entire fucking life flashed before my eyes. There was so much I needed to say to you, I couldn't handle the thought of losing you, Izuku. Especially before- before I had the chance to-, " Katsuki squeezes his eyes shut and grunts in an effort to hold back tears that were threatening to fall.
Katsuki feels Izuku's gentle touch on his cheek again and meets his gaze.
"I know. It's okay. Let's just agree that we're both idiots and try to be better, together. If not for ourselves, then for each other. I can't stand the thought of losing you either, Kacchan," Izuku's eyes are impossibly soft
"I really do appreciate everything you said, Kacchan. It means so much to me. I know it's not easy for you to do that."
"I meant every fucking word," Katsuki says firmly.
"I know. And I forgave you a long time ago, Kacchan. Yeah, things were rocky for a while, but I see you. I see how you've changed, and how much effort you've been putting in. I feel safest and strongest when I'm with you. You're the most amazing person I've ever known, and you always will be."
Izuku's eyes well up with tears again as he smiles, and Katsuki feels like his heart could burst out of his chest. He presses a gentle kiss to Izuku's palm and cups his face, tracing his lips with his thumb.
"You make me stronger," Katsuki stares deep into his eyes.
Katsuki feels his brain short circuit as Izuku presses a gentle, sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. Katsuki holds him there as he pulls away, chasing his lips with his own.
This kiss is softer and less hurried, but just as passionate. They're completely enveloped in each other as they revel in the fact that this is real. There’s nowhere in the world either of them would rather be. Katsuki didn’t realize just how badly he needs Izuku until he was gone, and thinks that, maybe, Izuku feels the same way.
It feels like it’s been an eternity when they slowly break apart, and Katsuki can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.
Izuku lays his head on Katsuki's chest and cuddles up to his side. Katsuki idly strokes his back, just relishing the moment.
Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.
"I don't mind if- uh, if you keep calling me Deku, by the way," Izuku mutters..
"You don't like it when I say your name?"
"No! No, that's not it- I mean it is a little weird, but uh- I like it? Hearing it in your voice, I mean," Izuku rambles on, and Katsuki finds that he's even missed that too.
"I just, um, I mean- Deku is fine too. It has a different meaning for us both now, you know? It stopped being an insult a long time ago. And, uh, it feels, um...special, I guess? I don't know. My point is, either is fine. I don't want you to feel like...like you're disrespecting me, or something," Izuku's face is bright red as he notices Katsuki smirking at him.
"You're such a nerd," Katsuki laughs when Izuku scowls, and presses a kiss to his forehead, “I’ll call you whatever the fuck you want me to call you.”
“Either is good. I promise.”
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see then, huh?”
"Yeah," Izuku smiles, then his brows furrow and he pauses. "Katsuki."
They both frown and Katsuki shakes his head.
"Nope. Too weird. I'd rather be Kacchan forever,” Katsuki grimaces.
“I think so too,” Izuku laughs.
"You should sleep, nerd." Katsuki murmurs.
"Mm, yeah,” Izuku yawns, “You should too, Kacchan."
"Yeah, yeah."
"But you'll still be here when I wake up, right?" Izuku looks up at him with pleading eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Izuku breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles closer.
"Tomorrow...tomorrow is gonna be hard."
"Nah. I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries anything funny. Like I said, we'll get through this.”
"Together?"
"Together."
-------
bonus:
Sunlight is filtering through the blinds of the room's tiny window when Katsuki awakens. He feels more rested than he has in ages. Izuku is still curled up at his side with his head on his chest, snoring softly, and Katsuki can’t help but smile.
“Nice, bro!” someone whispers from the doorway. Katsuki’s head whips up to see Shitty Hair and Sparky, grinning at him with their thumbs up.
Katsuki is filled with white hot rage as his face flushes. If it wasn't for the fact that Izuku has him pinned, he would beat the shit out of those assholes.
“See ya, loverboy!” Kaminari whistles as they bolt out of the room.
Oh, they are dead meat when Katsuki’s hands are free.
--
A/N: I wrote this while listening to "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie and "Make You Mine (acoustic)" by PUBLIC-highly recommend them if you're looking to yearn lmao
The large block of italicized text is meant to be a flashback- I hope that was clear :')
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!! Feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always <3
Also- shout out to @sheiireen for her very helpful advice on this. She's amazingly talented, you should check her out!!
330 notes · View notes
mha-princess · 3 years
Note
Hello, I really like your writing, and I was wondering if I could request headcanons of how Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, and Todoroki would react if somebody flirted with their s/o right in front of them, and the boys try to be calm and just tell the other person that they're in a relationship, but the person flirting just doesn't care, and continues to flirt with their s/o
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They get jealous of someone flirting with you
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A/N: I added Shoji to this request just because I love him.I hope you don’t mind (⁍̴̆◡⁍̴̆ )⊃♡- Anako
Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Todoroki, and Shoji
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Masterlist | Request Rules | Request Box
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This..... this is the reason he doesn’t like to go shopping
Now katsuki isn’t necessarily one to tell his s/o what to do let alone what to wear
But when your clothes start drawing too much attention is when he has a problem
Here you were checking out at your favorite mall outlet, katsuki behind you patiently waiting
“That’ll be $132 dollars please.” The cashier says looking up at you. You smile and hand hun your card. He takes it in his hand and examine the name on the front of the card.
“Y/N? That’s a pretty name.” He grins swiping the card. You hesitate to respond, you could feel katsuki moving closer to you.
“T-thank you.” The cashier is slow with what he’s doing, clearly trying to get a conversation out of you.
“Do you shop here often? I don’t ever see you around her.”
“She comes here with her boyfriend.” You feel Katsuki’s arm wrap firmly around your waist. The cashier raises and eyebrow, but persistent. He sets the card on the counter.
“You know if you were mine, you wouldn’t be paying for your own stuff it’d be on me.”
“With your fucking mall job? You wish.” Bakugou scoffs. Your mouth parts with sheer embarrassment.
“Katsuki!” You repeemind, “Sir, can I just have my bags?” You question.
“If I can have your num-.” He’s cut off by a concerning crackling. You look down to see Bakugou hands illuminating with bright little flames. Not enough to cause damage, but it was still concerning.
Quickly you reach over the counter and grab your card and your bags. You then drag Katsuki out of the outlet.
“Katsuki!” You reprimand once again.
“You should’ve let me blow his ass to shreds.”
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I feel like Kiri is a territorial guy
What’s his is his
So that being said Kiri is very heavy on PDA
And when someone persistently flirts with you is mind boggling to you both , as he makes it pretty clear that you have a boyfriend
But he also is very aware that his s/o is very attractive and that before are going to flirt with you
It’s only when you tell the person you have a boyfriend and they don’t respect that is when he has a problem.
One day when you were hanging out at the park just spending some quality time with Kiri, he had pointed out that a guy had been eyeing you for quite sometime
You brush him off saying that he’s just imagining things, but its when said guy walks over to you, you panic.
When the guy reaches you he doesn’t say anything, he just grins and hands you a piece of paper.
“I-I have a boyfriend.” You say, handing the sheet of paper with a number sprawled on it back. The boy pushes the paper back towards you.
“But I really think you should keep it. I saw you checking me out.” Kirishima grits his teeth at the accusation.
“Like they said they have a boyfriend. I’m the only only they’re ‘checking’ out.” You then push the paper back toward hun once more, but he still refuses to take it back.
“Keep-” The male stops dead in the middle of his sentence, in awe at the sight of Kirishima tonguing you dead in the mouth.
After he’s finished you fluster as you notice the guy is long gone.
Kirishima takes the paper from your hands and throws it on the ground.
“I hope he learned his lesson.”
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Ok so we all know that Denki has a flirty personality
So when someone is flirting with you he picks up on it VERY quickly
That being said he’d stop it as quickly as it started, already knowing how these things work
But if the person were to keep on hitting on you I’d see Denki getting a bit physical (as a last resort ofc)
“I already told you dude. Their taken.” He says sternly standing toe to toe with the other male.
“And I already told you I want their number.” The boy says shoving at Denkis chest.
Quickly you step in, forcefully shoving the other male to the ground before this gets out of hand and someone is in the ER for electrical burns
“And I said you weren’t fucking getting it.” You respond taking Kaminari by the wrist and walking away
Afterward Kaminari would apologize constantly for not keeping his cool, but you constantly tell him it’s fine
“I didn’t think you’d get physical for me.” He dramatically gasps at your words.
“I’ll always fight for something worth fighting for.”
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Just from looking at todoroki I get scared so how someone is flirting with you while he’s right there is beyond me
I honestly don’t even imagine him saying anything to the person that’s flirting with you that glare is deadly enough to scare anyone away
And when he’s jealous it’s doesn’t necessarily show, due to his personality
He gets hit on all the time and just ignores whoever’s hitting on him and expects you to do the same
But one day when your both at dinner, there’s a waiter who just won’t stop.
When he would come by your table he would BLATANTLY ignore Shouto
“Do you need a refill? Or is there anything I can help you with?” He says smiling at you.
There’s no change in Todorokis expression but you can fell he’s aura go dark, this had to of been the fifth time that waiter has came by and asked that question
“No thank you just the bill please.” You respond .
“Will you be splitting it between you and your friend?”
“Boyfriend.” Shouto corrects, putting a large emphasis on the ‘Boy’ part.
The male doesn’t even glance in Todoroki’s direction.
“I’ll be right back, love.” Your mouth drops as he walks away. You look at Todoroki who is physically calm, but mentally pissed.
The boy returns from the back with the billfold. He hands it to you, but you slide it to Todoroki.
Upon opening it his eyes are met with a number. Not a bill number but a phone number.
You look at Todorki who is now showing signs of being upset. He grips the bill tightly and it begins to freeze.
You look at the waiter who is now visibly scared.
“Y-You know using you q-quirk in public is illeg-.”
“Do I look like I give a damn about what’s illegal?”
You pay for the food and quickly get him out of that restaurant.
After that incident he definitely got more clingy, realizing that some people simply have no respect and he didn’t want anyone to steal you away from him
He has never really been in a relationship so handling these kinds of problems is new for him. He’ll need a lot of verbal and physically validation for awhile
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This boy really doesn’t like being in public so the few times he acommanpies you, you hope everything will go well
But sadly, that’s not always the case
This boy’s a true gentleman and doesn’t like to have any form of dispute
So when someone’s flirting with you he’d try to handle the situation as ‘professional’ as possible
But when his attempts fail he doesn’t get jealous, he gets very insecure.
He’s already unsure of his appearance and seeing someone flirt with you makes him feel bad
It makes him feel as though he isn’t enough
But it’s a good thing that your quick to act in these situations
“Look my boyfriend is right here, so I’d appreciate it if you got the hell on.” You say harshly, shoving the irrelevant male who was hitting on you.
Afterward like Todoroki, Shoji will need a lot of reassurance I mean a lot
So do things like hug him, touch him, kiss him. And let him know that there’s nobody who can take his place
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thesmokingguns · 3 years
Text
Mine Part 2
Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Reader
Request:”So i read the nikki sixx one 'mine' and i am absolute sucker for those kinds of stories and i was wondering if you could write a sequel with reader actually having the twins and how he reacts to labour and their birth etc. “
Word Count : 1247
A/N: This very fluffy for me. I hope to be back to breaking hearts tomorrow with some angst
Taglist: @ayablackwood @littlemisscare-all  @thenobodies-inc@dannasixxworld  @val-sixx​ @nikkisqueenofsleaze @rocknrollsoul76@aggressive-slytherin @aligsilva00 @agroupiewhore@leatherandheels @midnightatvegas @samiyaffaslover
You sat on the yoga ball bouncing and rocking, the nerve in your leg acting up from how one of twins was sitting in your belly. You were rubbing your stomach, stretched out and looking exhausted, stressed, and goddamn beautiful.
Any second, any day it would be time.
The hospital bag was packed away in the car, along with two new car seats installed and checked at the local fire station, ready to bring home our two little ones.
Your eyes were on the notebook in front of you, the pregnancy brain had you needing to write down everything you needed to do because things were there one second and gone the next.
A glisten of sweat was on your forehead and I watched the way you breathed, hand on your stomach as you rocked, legs shaking ever so slightly.
“Hey, beautiful, are you okay?” Watching the way your eyes dance to meet mine, I see the pain there and am almost falling over myself as I make my way over to you.
My hand taking one of yours, a hand on your lower back as I squat beside you . Instantly leaning on me, your weight surprises me as I see you gritting your teeth.
“I’ve been timing my contractions for the last few hours. My water hasn’t broken yet but I’m about 8-9 minutes apart-“ You bent forward your hand squeezing mine like it would break fingers, “7-8 minutes apart.” You were trembling.
All the information from the birthing class slipped out of my brain at that point and I just sat there, blankly wondering what to do.
What do I do?
“Nikki, I need you to help me stand up. I don’t think I can walk by myself to the car.” Your voice was so calm. How were you calm?
But I was following your directions watching the way you grimaced, my heart in my throat as we made our way to the car.
The way you shot me this little smile through your pain, you were so sure that it was going to be all right. The fear was leaving me as I saw that smile. You made me feel like we were doing this and we were just a. Step away from happiness.
Everything felt like a blur. The drive. The hospital. Even your labor.
Though I can see the pain on your face. The wash your teeth pressed together, hand making a fist around my fingers, sweat pouring as a nurse dabbed your forehead with a wet cloth.
You were so strong. I was so in awe of your strength. At the sound of the first cry, the way you did a smile, so slight watching the little girl be carried to be weighed and her eyes washed.
But you were focused on bringing the little man into the world. And two minutes later you were having two small beans laid on your chests like trophies as the doctor stitched you and cleaned you.
And that was the moment, our two babies in your arms, the hair that escaped your braid stuck to your forehead, eyes free of any makeup, and just in this post birth exhaustion that I realized how lucky I was. How absolutely fucking amazing my life was.
And you looked up at me, so happy and full of joy. It was everything I ever wanted.
“Do you want to hold them?” The nurse looked at you like you were crazy. A new mother putting in all that work and offering the babies to the idiot who got her pregnant. “Sit down and they’ll hand them to you.” You commanded the room and everyone listened.
They were so small in my arms. So tiny, like a doll. Sleeping and probably missing the warmth of your body. And you were taking a picture, capturing this moment forever, wanting me to have this.
How was it that after you just gave birth you could still be so selfless and loving?
The first  four month at home I watched you grow into the role of motherhood. Walking around the house in your overalls and cotton sports bra to breastfeed the babies at a moment's notice. Cleaning the house of diapers and everyday messes. Managing to cook or order chinese. How did you become superwoman?
And it was all so easy for you.
Not easy as in you didn’t struggle but easy in the sense you felt happy with what was happening. There was this bigger purpose that you had been missing.
You hadn’t realized how much you wanted to be a mother until we had the two bundles of joy. And as you got softer I just managed to prickle in fatherhood.
This need to protect and provide settling into my bones. I wanted to the 1950’s TV Dad because you were the perfect June Cleaver. I mean, for Christ Sakes, I came home and there was a Cherry pie cooling in the kitchen.
I looked across the table at you, the softness of your face as you listened for the babies who you had put down for the night. Both of us had given them baths, shoulder to shoulder, working as a team.
Maybe that was my favorite part of being a parent. The teamwork of you and me, doing this together. Maybe I would never be a TV dad because I was always going to roll up my sleeves and be an active participant in the raising of our kids.
As I saw you sip your water, probably wishing it was red wine, I thought about our life. Our partnership. And in that moment I had everything. I had everything I had ever wanted in my life.
“Are you okay?” your voice was so soft and I realized my eyes had welled with tears. You were moving over to me, wrapping me in your arms. You smelled like baby detergent and lavender. So calming and relaxing. You slid onto my knee holding me as I sobbed, feeling insane as I did so.
“I’m sorry.” I got out trying to laugh it off. Your hands held my cheeks, thumbs brushing away tears and lips catching any that were still trying to fall out. “I’m just so happy. I never thought that I would have this. And it’s everything to me. I just feel.” I stopped feeling selfish with my next comment but you gave me a smirk.
“You are loved, NIkki. We love you. All four of us.” you grabbed my hand placing it on your stomach, “You remember when we thought breastfeeding meant I couldn't get pregnant? We were very wrong.” The way you were beaming, absolutely glowing. Another baby.
We hadn’t had sex more than a handful of time. Sleep having been so important to us and you needed time to heal.
But we had talked about having more kids the first night home. After we had gotten the twins down we had curled up in bed, whispering about our family, our dreams. What we wanted to teach them and what we wanted them to believe in.
And we were making our dreams come true. You and me and now three babies.
“We’re going to need to buy a tour bus.” You laughed so loudly at this, letting me kiss you, hand on your stomach as I thought about how I did it again and how you were mine but also how glad I was that I was yours
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kimyoonmiauthor · 2 years
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Romance: How to make a consensual kiss sexy.
I wrote a post https://www.tumblr.com/kimyoonmiauthor/724640612027121664/how-to-write-safe-r-sex-consent-in-sex-scenes?source=share. So I am going to write a post on how asking for a kiss can be sexy. This is in answer to an article that thought asking for a kiss wasn’t sexy. Oh and making grand declarations of love without a kiss can also be sexy. And it’s trash saying Mr. Darcy didn’t ask for consent. Every stage he does ask for consent. Every version. Colin Firth to the new movie and older movies, consent. No arm tugs, no forced kisses. Any character in an Austin novel that tried anything close to arm tugs or forced kisses gets binned.
To review the basics of romance, as I’ve said before... romance is both a court argument (AND These people belong together forever for the following reasons...) and playing with a rubberband in terms of tension. (This, for those who’ve been following my worldwide story structure series is true worldwide. I’ve watched more rom coms than you care to know from various countries and locales) I’ll try my best, BTW, to make this LGBTQIA friendly.
SLOW
90/10 Rule
Alan Seawright credit here, saying this on Twilight commentary said, the 90/10 rule. (I think it was New Moon on Cinema Therapy about Jacob)
One partner comes 90, the other comes 10.
Soft caress to the face
Back of fingers to the cheek, long stare, looking down to lips, back to eyes, slow head tilting and coming in. Cupping face slowly Slow cupping of face, stroking of cheeks, eye gaze, then kiss.
BUT I WANT IT FASTER!
Consensual flirting for AGES.
Until both characters are on the brink. Bring up the tension by releasing it, making it more taut until the rubber band breaks. If you make the audience scream, c’mon, DO IT. DO IT. Then that’s about right. Then the characters meet at 50/50. Hinting at it.
“Haha. You want to kiss me.” (in ear, softly) “Are you staring at my lips?” “Usually, this is where people would kiss, but I won’t.”
And then the other person says, something like, “But I thought you would.” 
Make vocal asking sexy
Whispered into the ear
brushes ear, and whispers into it, “Wanna kiss?”
During phone flirting
All I can think about is your soft lips and touching them. Would you like that?
During a love letter
I think about how far we are and great it would be if you wanted to kiss me as I do you.
During dancing
He spun towards Kai as Kai held him close. His lips were so close. “You’re thinking about kissing me,” Kai said.
Screamed into a pillow
“I want to kiss you so much, but we can’t.” She flipped over and stared at the canopy of the ceiling then got up.
“Why can’t we?” Laura asked, kneeling next to her.
caught together really close while being chased
His breath caught on their nose. Guards were coming. But why did the smell of him, make them want him more? It made no sense. “This is our last moment,” he said. “We might not make it. One last kiss for good luck?” Staring lovingly, into their eyes, they tugged him down and he kissed them.
make it a negative
“You don’t want to kiss me.”
Movie reference. “My favorite part of Titanic was when Rose was on the bow of the ship. What was yours?”
“When they kissed for the first time,” side eyes.
BUT MORE (Toxic) MASCULINITY
*eyerolls* Rapey? OK...
If you insist on arm pulls and the like, you can still end up with teasing. For example... He pulled her towards him, his breath coming hard as he stared into her eyes. He tilted his head. He was going to kiss her. He was. But then he grinned and said, “Not today.” She gritted her teeth. He laughed before kissing her.
BTW, After the kiss, checking in, (not in lieu of prior consent) isn’t bad.
“Did you like that?” “Are your lips tingling too?” “Should we do tongue next time?” “Do you want more?” *Wink* “Wasn’t that fun?”
Might make the character sexier... again, if the character is into it, and the reader feels emotionally invested in the action and character, they will go along with it. We’re writers. We’re supposed to come up with creative scenarios. We can do better. What is wrong with her asking, or them asking? What is wrong with flirting for ages over it? If romance is delivering a maximum tension before the characters get together, then kissing should be included. And it doesn’t have to be toxic.
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sunaswife · 3 years
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Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.
🔪: <3 thanks for all the support so far
Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload
Previously Up Next Masterlist
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Chapter Thirteen
“Kuroo-San I’m very flattered but in reality I’m seeing someone.” You chuckled awkwardly as you both walked to the lounge after today’s game. “Really?! Since when! About a month ago during the black Jackals game you just said you were a single mom!” He exclaimed. “Well..in reality..I’m trying to make amends with the father of my children. We were both dumb and immature but now since we’re older, we can have a decent conversation. And I still have feelings for him in a way and he’s already confessed..so...” you scratched the back on your head. “Have you accepted his confession..?” He asked. “Well..I mean I kind of changed the subject..” you replied awkwardly. “Poor guy..” he put his hand on his chest as if he felt the pain. “Well it’s not right to pressure someone into going on a date with them so I’m sorry. I was out of line. And I hope everything goes well between you and Rintarou.” He said with a soft smile. He patted your head and walked away down the other hall, you just stood there dumbfounded. How does he know Rin is the dad..?
You haven’t checked social media or sports news so you’re not sure if people already know. You made you way into the lounge and opened your small locker. You took out your purse and walked to your car, you tried walking as fast as possible to avoid talking to people and when you were in the comfort of your car you took out your phone.
Your eyes widened at the amount of phone calls and messages Rin sent. You didn’t even have a chance to read the messages since you decided to call back Rin and wonder what is going on. “It’s about time you answer.” He immediately gritted, he obviously sounded pissed. “Excuse me?” You immediately said with such confusion.
Does he seriously think he can get away with talking to you like that?
“I said it’s about time you fucking answered. Why weren’t you answering my calls or messages?” He asked. “I was obviously working.” You said in a duh tone. “Is something wrong?” You asked. “YES something is wrong! My son almost died and I didn’t know what to do!”
Your heart dropped. He almost...died..? “W-wait—“ you shook your head. “What do you mean he almost died?” You asked. “He had an allergy attack and I had to use an epipen. I didn’t know what to do at the hospital. I rarely had any information. You never told me if the kids had insurance or anything.” “Is Rini okay?” You immediately asked. “Yes he’s fine. But you didn—“
“I’m on my way. For the next eight hours, think before you speak, okay? Don’t say anything you’ll regret.” You warned. “Whatever.” He muttered and hung up. Immediately your heart clenched and you threw your phone at the passenger seat. You rubbed your face and leaned forward and gripped the steering wheel.
“What the fuck.” You sighed. Throughout the drive back to Hyogo your hands began shaking thinking about your kids and Rin. The kids went through something traumatic, and you weren’t there to help them or to protect them. What kind of mother are you? You wanted to slap yourself so hard, jump off a cliff. Receive some sort of punishment for being such a stupid mother and trusting Rin with your children.
After a few hours, your makeup needed a touch up, your hair was a mess for running your hands through your hair hoping your son is okay. Your eyes felt droopy. You’ve only slept a good six hours between drives and it’s way past midnight. The sun began to rise and you finally passed the billboard welcoming you to the hyogo prefecture. You went to the hospital Rin said they were at and you quickly parked and made your way inside.
The poor lady in the office seemed startled at your appearance, your clothes were wrinkled, and your shirt was untucked and unbuttoned from the top, you had bags under your eyes, you were a whole mess. When she gave the room number you slipped off your heels and began jogging to your location. The door was opened so you peeked in and saw your daughter playing with her fox plush on the uncomfortable couch chair.
It was like she sensed you so she looked up and you made eye contact with your little girl. Her eyes immediately watered and she hopped off the chair crying. “Mommy!” She sobbed and you immediately bent down to pick her up. You held her close and her grip tightened around your shoulders. “Rini doesn’t feel good..” she mumbled in your ear. “I know baby, I know.” You answered and dropped your heels by the entrance.
You made you way inside and saw Rin hunched over on the bed sleeping. He was holding Rini’s hand who was also asleep. He looked alright and you sighed in relief. “Have you slept, Akira?” You asked and she nodded. “I slept with Rini, but grandma wanted me to go back home with her. But Rini needed me. He’s my twin.” She wiped her eyes and slightly pulled away. You neared the other side of the bed and pulled the lounge chair closer so you can sit. Akira was on your left thigh with her head still on your shoulder. You looked at Rini sleeping and you brushed some hair out of his face. He slowly opened his eyes and he smiled lazily, “I missed you momma..” he mumbled. “I missed you too. I came as fast as I could.” You assured. “I was so scared.” He admitted. “I know..and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” Your eyes began to water. “Don’t cry mommy.... then I’ll cry..” Rini held your hand with his free hand.
Your wiped under your eyes with the sleeve of your blazer to stop the tears from falling and you smiled again. “Okay I won’t cry.” You said and released a breath. “Can you sing me a song?” Akira asked in your neck, “Yeah I want a song too, please.” Rini pouted and you nodded. They had a favorite song from a certain show that they enjoyed the most. You began to sing softly and Rini squeezed your hand and Akira began to fall asleep again.
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'Cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you
Look at you go
I just adore you
I wish that I knew
What makes you think I'm so special
You saw as Rini’s eyes began to close so he could fall back to sleep, you heard snoring right in your ear and realized Akira knocked out as well. “You have a beautiful voice.” Rin said softly as he rested his head on the side of his arm. “Sorry that I woke you up.” You quickly apologized. “No it’s fine..” he yawned and slowly sat up. He winced slightly, “Damn I need to see a chiropractor.” He muttered and you released a small chuckle. “Me too.” You said.
“So is Rini okay? What happened?” You asked and he sighed and looked into your eyes. “My mom got some burgers from a restaurant where peanut oil is used. She didn’t know Rini was allergic and I didn’t check the bag.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You raised your voice and his eyes widened. “Your mom almost killed our son and you blame me for leaving you without any information?” You asked and he looked down guilty. “She didn’t kn—“
“Of course she doesn’t know because all day she was acting like a conceited bitch instead of being a grandmother to her grandkids. She even called me a whore—“
“No she didn’t.” He immediately interrupted. “She didn’t because you stopped her. But that’s what she thinks right? I model for Hana’s company to support her and to build up my self esteem and now I’m a whore? And you had the audacity to talk to me so rudely when I didn’t do anything. If you’re going to be treating me like that then there’s the fucking door. You understand? Never again will I be disrespected by a man.” You said and he had no words.
“You make it seem like I did it on purpose. I was sleep deprived and scared. I felt like I was going to throw up.” Rin squinted his narrow eyes.
“Do you have any idea what I felt when I got a call eight hours away that my son almost died? Imagine how I feel when he calls out to me and I’m not there. I feel like I failed them as a mom, my chest hurts and I’ve always been there. Always. And now I leave them in your hands and something happens and I can’t get there soon? I almost had a panic attack on the drive!” You exclaimed and he stayed silent. He didn’t want to continue fighting. He’s sure the kids are awake and listening to everything.
“I’m sorry.” He said and looked at his hands. He felt defeated and disappointed. You shouldn’t be so hard on him, it’s been less than a month since he took on this role. “Hey look at me.” You called softly, he looked up and you made eye contact once more. “I’m sorry for going off on you like this, I’m just as upset and afraid as you are and I’m sure you haven’t slept much.”
“I could say the same for you, you look like shit.” He cracked a tiny smile and you rolled your eyes with a giggle. “So did your mom eventually decide to be a grandma or she still hates me so she’s not getting close?” You asked. “She went back home to bring some clothes and then to get us some breakfast. I sent her a screenshot of my notes.” He said and you nodded. You obviously still felt uneasy with her, but they deserve a grandma and if she’s being civil you have no reason to take them away from her.
There was a knock at the door and you and Rin immediately turned your heads. “Oh you must be mom..” the doctor said. “Yeah I’m mom.” You said. She explained that Rini stayed longer than usual because he is a child. After a severe allergic reaction there can be aftershocks hours after the person receives treatment and that can lead to a seizure. She praised Rin for quick thinking and following proper steps to insure his child’s safety.
When the doctor left, Rin’s mom waltzes in and she freezes when she sees you. You take a deep breath and release and decide that it’s best to keep quiet. You wouldn’t want a clique animosity between you and your maybe future mother in law.
“I brought Rini some spare clothes.” She said as she opened Rin’s old gym bag. “He doesn’t own that jacket.” You pointed out. Her face flushed slightly, “I know..but this was Rintarou’s favorite jacket when he was his age..I thought it would be nice to wear. I have a lot of Rin’s old baby and child clothes.” She admitted softly, almost scared that you would snap any minute. And you would, so she was wise to walk on eggshells.
“Okay that’s fine.” You gave in. You helped Rini get dressed while Rin was talking to the doctor and getting ready to check out. You walked barefoot down the hall with your pink heels in your right hand, while Akira held your left hand. Rini was holding hands with Suna and Rin’s mom was holding their stuffed animals. She trailed behind you four and saw how you and Rin swung akira with you arms, her little giggles filled the hall releasing serotonin to the patients and nurses nearby.
“Momma aren’t you gonna put your shoes on?” Rini asked, “My feet hurt and I don’t feel like falling.” “But it’s hot outside, you can burn your feet.” Rin spoke up, “I think I’ll be fine.” You assured. He rolled his eyes and let go of the kids. You were about to step on the asphalt of the parking lot after checking both sides and all of a sudden you’re being knocked back from your legs and carried bridal style. “RINTAROU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT.”
“Nah.”
The kids giggled at their parents funny behavior, you kicked the air and squirmed but his grip tightened. “Do you really wanna get down?” He asked and you said yes. He pretended to drop you and you gripped onto his shirt for dear life and he started laughing. “I swear to God I am going to kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.” You muttered. He finally put you down but you were so distracted you were already at your car.
Karin took the kids to her car since the car seats are in there, so now it’s just you and Rin. “You give me a headache.” You told him. “But you love this headache—“ both your eyes widened and he stopped, “—sorry.” He immediately apologized.
You turned away to yawn and you muttered an it’s okay. He opened the car door for you just like old times, much to your dismay and he closed it when you entered. You put on your seatbelt and he fixed the seat and complained at how tiny you were. He was expecting you to fight back and bicker but you were already asleep.
He leaned forward and fixed your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck. He started the car and began driving back home. He saw the two empty cups of coffee and some energy bar wrappers on the floor. The phone wasn’t playing any music but the volume was up to 20. You must have been so tired driving all last night and the night before for nine straight hours. No wonder you blasted music to keep you up and drank coffee.
He soon made it home and tried waking you up, but you didn’t budge. Not even shaking you work. You were a muttering unconscious mess when he helped you out and carried you bridal style once again. His mom let him in and he told Akira to unroll the futon in the living room since he couldn’t take you upstairs. He successfully placed you down and helped take of your blazer, he thanked god you were wearing an undershirt thanks to akira checking (no somnophilia shit here atm) and he helped unbutton your dress shirt so you wouldn’t feel hot. He put a light blanket over you. “Can’t believe I have to get you ready for bed like a child.” He muttered with a shake of his head. “Silence bottom, it’s mimi’s time.” You said in your sleep.
The kids ate their breakfast in the car as well as Karin. They were already awake and playing with Chewy outside again. “Mom.” He called, “Yes?” She asked from the kitchen. “Can I borrow your makeup wipes?” He asked. She smiled softly, looking out the window to check on the kids. “Yeah go ahead, they’re in the bathroom.”
Rin came back with the wipes and began wiping the makeup off your face. He didn’t want to press too hard to hurt you. But damn, this makeup was hard to take off. Finally you slept comfortably without makeup, without any interruptions. “Sweet dreams, love.” He smiled and moved the hair away from your face.
He stood up and grabbed the bag with all the kids school stuff and sat in the picnic table outside. “Alright you rascals time for school!” He yelled and the kids yelled an okay and went to join their dad.
“Hey dad..” Rini said. “What’s up?” Rin looked at his son, “I love you a lot. To infinity and beyond. Mama says that’s called unconditional love.” He said and Rin smiled with a nod. “Exactly, and I love you two unconditionally as well.” He said and Akira peered up from her work sheet. “Do you love mom unconditionally?” She asked Rintarou.
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
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Fun facts:
Someone asked me to do fun facts and if I had any for future chapters so here I go
The song YN sang is love like you from Steven universe but this is my fav version.
‘Mimi’s’ means sleeping time, Akira didn’t know how to say sleeping when she was a toddler so she would say Mimi’s cuz uncle Oikawa would say “es tiempo de dormir.” Which means ‘it’s time to sleep’. So MIMIS is taken for the ‘mir’ in dormir. (Sorry that was a long explanation) (if you live in a Mexican household then u might usually hear this)
YN drives a Black Honda CR-V (nice mom van) ☺️ while Rin has a White Nissan GT-R but he’s thinking of trading it in for a four door sports car to take the kids and yn along
Rin still has his old black mustang in a garage rental back in Tokyo where he would drive with YN everywhere. He wants to fix it up and gift it to one of his kids when they’re older 🥺
Idk why I’m talking about cars
Rin was a blushing mess when he was getting yn ready for bed and his heart stopped when she snuggled into him
After he admitted he loved YN unconditionally, Akira called him a simp
🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar
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kate-komics · 3 years
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How did you do that thing where you tap, and it fills in the color between in the lines? What is is called? Because for the past year I've made a new layer and colored under that, then erasing all around the lines.
Oh, and what's your favorite brush?
Oh yes!!!! It’s called ‘reference’ and what that means is that it turns whatever layer you selected as your ‘reference’ correlates with all other layers. So my reference layer is almost always my line art, and in doing that I don’t have to select or trace around anything to color. I can just drag and drop my colors and it responds to where my line art is for my other layer.
This is what it looks like and where to select it. There’s also a million short tutorials on how to use it as well.
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And my favorite brush to use is the ‘lil’ smoothy comics inker’ from the Rusty Nib set from True Grit!!
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honeysidesarchived · 3 years
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WHERE THERE IS NO TEMPTATION, THERE IS NO GLORY.
⊱ a santino d'antonio / oc short-fic
euphemia volpe has never wanted for very much; a safe place to sleep, a soft place to land. to love someone, and be loved back. she has all of those things now, but it's most unfortunate for her that she has fallen in love with a man who will never be satisfied with what he's got.
pt. i: contact is crisis
words: 3.3k
warnings: language, some depictions of a relationship that is not entirely healthy, extensive use of my very basic knowledge of italian (padded with google translate, thank you google!), and an unfortunate amount of endearments and pet names. this does not deviate from john wick chapter 2's canon ending, so please bear in mind this will contain major character death.
rating: m for mature language ??? probably closer to t, but will change later on.
notes: as some of you may know, this has been (unfortunately) sitting on my drive since i first watched john wick chapter two almost a year ago--maybe over a year! i can't remember. all i remember was seeing santino and going "SOMEONE has got to kiss that man". so you know, here i am. this short-fic (only a few, short parts) will take place over the span of the events of john wick chapter 2. yes i built some tiny amount of lore for the camorra. yes i had the opportunity to write a fix-it fic and did not. no i am not taking criticism at this time !
special uber big thank you to my beta and my wifey @starcrier who read this a year ago and when i casually said, "hey, so what if i posted this" told me to do it. also @faithchel, who through the occasional sly prompt slid in from ask games (i see you) has been a true angel while i sort through this, and equally as encouraging!
and of course thank you to you all, who read this. i know this is not the usual content you followed me for but i appreciate you all the same. <3
“I cannot believe that I will marry a man so stupid.”
Euphemia is practically frothing at the mouth, she’s so mad; she storms into the chic New York loft, tossing her purse onto the nearby counter, her heels clipping against the polished floor decisively. It’s late; the silk slip of a dress draped across her body brushes the floor in a sweeping train, and she balances herself on the counter with one hand while she steps out of the stilettos with the assistance of the other.
“Euphie, luce della mia vita,” Santino says, striding in after her and completely at ease. He is, infuriatingly, as he always is; perfectly composed, his dark curls in place and his suit immaculate. Euphemia eyes him through the mirror of her vanity as he sidles up behind her. “We’re not married yet, princesa, so you have nothing to worry about.”
“Luce della mia vita,” Euphemia drawls mockingly. She drips the words in honey on the way out of her mouth, sliding a dainty, glittering bracelet from her wrist and dropping it on the counter. “You sound like a fucking idiot, Santi.”
His gaze darkens, but his voice is still silky when he says, “Watch your tone, cara mia.”
“What for?” Euphemia thinks she wouldn’t be able to watch her tone even if she wanted to; not anymore, not with this hanging over her head. She turns to stare at her fiancé, pressing her index finger to his chest. “You’re going to get killed by Baba Yaga anyway. No point in behaving myself, is there? Idiota.”
“Euphemia.”
“You leave John Wick alone, Santino,” she bites out. “You don’t ask for a thing from him. Of him. About him. I don’t want John Wick near my life.”
Santino grabs her wrist, the hand with the engagement ring sitting on it—snatches it out of the air like a cobra striking, grips it with hands that usually are much kinder.
“Everything that you have now is a gift from me,” he warns her, voice pitched low. “You like your nice engagement ring? Your nice dresses? This nice loft we live in?”
His fingers grip, nearly bruising; these are the only times that he doesn’t handle her with care, that his elegant fingers don’t splay against her skin reverently—when she’s pissed him off.
“I’ve given it all to you, all of these things, this life that you like having and don’t want John Wick near, so I would suggest watching your tone for that.”
There is a brief moment where Euphemia thinks she might finally, right now, resort to the violence of slapping Santino in the face. The threat is not lost on her; it’s Santino’s favorite thing to do when he’s angry. And for her to commit an act of violence against her fiancé would be unthinkable almost every other time, in any other situation. Euphie would not have considered it in the least, but there are times—on occasion—where she thinks for a second that she doesn’t recognize him; that he’s become some amalgam of all of the men who have grabbed her too hard or told her she owes them. Men who have used her meanly.
And Santino has divulged his plan to push John Wick for a favor.
So, yes: she thinks she might, but then her hand is moving of her own volition, sliding the engagement ring off of her finger and stuffing it into his jacket pocket, the more pacifist choice than what her mind is screaming for her to do.
“You have never had nothing, Santi,” she says, biting out the words, “so allow me to enlighten you; I have had nothing before you, and I will be just fine having nothing again.”
His eyes narrow, gemlike slits that sit heavy on her. She yanks her wrist of his grip and says, “And it is a good thing we are not married, si? A divorce would have been so messy.”
“Euphie,” Santino says in a sigh that lacks venom, as though he weren’t just threatening to take everything from her, as though she were the hysterical one, “don’t fuss.”
Don’t fuss, he says, because Santino has only ever had women before that bend themselves over backwards until they break for him; don’t fuss, he says, because he likes and maybe loves her, she thinks, but he doesn’t like or love when she talks back. Santino has always had someone to wait on him, to serve him, and Euphemia has never seen his parents together but she would that his only vision of marriage is that of a subservient, dutiful, loving wife.
“Oh, but my darling,” she coos, very undutiful and decidedly not subservient, “I wouldn’t want you to have to worry about all of the nice things you give me. You can enjoy them all yourself, for the brief time before Baba Yaga kills you for asking him to do a job he does not want to do, when he has announced his retirement.”
It’s a terrible way to feed the monster inside of her. That monster is a pusher, a puller, the kind that picked and chipped away at Santino until he lost that shred of his manicured control and gave her something, anything she could work with. It was impossible to love a man who was so buttoned up there was nowhere for her to put her love.
His expression tightens in the way that she recognizes as his controlled fury; bottling it, merchandising it, saving it for later. Santino is not incapable of killing his sister himself, but for some reason—a reason that Euphemia is sure is only known to him—he won’t. Some stupid shit about blood and family, probably.
“Take the ring back.” Santino’s voice is smooth, belying the danger lurking just beneath. He fishes the engagement ring out of the pocket of his suit jacket, where she’d dropped it, and picks up her hand again; this time, his fingers don’t grip with bruising force, but cradle. Euphemia thinks she might have pushed him, then, right to the line, because his eerie calm is unsettling as his fingers meticulously slide the engagement ring back into place.
He says, “There, you see? This is where your engagement ring belongs and will stay. Here, on your hand. Just like this is where you belong and will stay—here, with me.” His hand comes up to her face; she turns away, and he catches her chin and forces her to look back at him.
“You know I will get you anything you want,” Santino murmurs, “but you have to ask.”
Nicely, is the implied word. A good fiancé, a good wife, wouldn’t storm out of the car after he mentions John Wick in passing, ripping through the loft, calling him names. She knows all of this and she thinks, then maybe I’m not a good anything.
But she can tell when she’s pushed Santino’s buttons just enough—enough to make a point, and not enough to incur his wrath. Not entirely.
“Please, Santi,” she says, her voice still hard but softer than it was before, and already Santi is shaking his head so she plunges on recklessly, “do not cash in John Wick’s debt to you. Ascoltami, I know you—I know you will do something to put yourself and John Wick on opposite sides of the playing field.”
Santino’s gaze is sharp and clear. He drops his hand from her face, shrugging, and says, “So what? I will be playing chess, and John Wick will be playing checkers. You worry too much, Euphie.”
“What you mean to say is that I think before I act.”
He shrugs, and threads his fingers through her hair, reaching up with the other to brush loose strands of it from her eyes. He rumbles pleasantly, “Don’t you trust me?”
Euphemia grits her teeth. Her hands come up to grip his wrists, watching him with a prickle of dread in her chest. “Don’t you trust me, Santi?”
Santi’s gaze darkens. Like that, he drops his hands from her, tucking them into the pockets of his slacks as he turns and wanders further into the bedroom, taking all of his warmth with him and leaving Euphie to marinate in the cold glow of the vanity’s lights.
“You can say no,” she says after him, frustrated. “You don’t have to keep an air of mystery about it.”
“What do I do then, tesora?” Santino demands, turning to look at her from the foot of the bed where stands. “Kill her myself? You know I can’t. You know that you cannot ask me to do that.” A pause, and then, with an added air of entitlement: “And Wick owes me.”
There are complicated feelings wrapped up in the whole of it, she knows; Santino, who wants what his sister was given, but cannot bring himself to end her. Euphemia, who only wants Santino, who doesn’t care if he has a seat at the High Table or if he’s a sister-killer or not, who only wants him to look at her longingly like he did when they first met, just for forever instead of a brief moment in time.
And both of them, intrinsically linked, because Santino isn’t wrong when he says that he’s given her everything she has now and Euphemia isn’t wrong when she says she would be okay with nothing again.
She doesn’t ask it of him; he is right, that she can’t, that she wouldn’t. Gianna has only ever been kind to her, at least face to face, and if Santi’s sister had any reservations about Euphemia, then Euphie would find herself in a completely different situation. Not engaged to the only other heir to the D’Antonio empire, that was for certain.
Instead, then, she says, “I cannot ask you to do it, you’re right. I cannot ask you to do it, and I cannot keep you, and I cannot throw you away, Santino. I was less tired when I had nothing.”
She turns away and walks herself into the bathroom, fingers trembling as she undoes the delicate zipper of the gold dress, letting it pool at the floor in a whisper of fabric. The engagement ring sits heavy on her hand. It’s beautiful—and just what she wants, and also the thing that she fears the most, because she doesn’t know what it means to Santino and only what it means to her.
“Euphie.”
His voice comes from the doorway of the bathroom. She turns on the hot water in the tub, a beautiful porcelain clawfoot that she picked herself. It was one of the first things that Santino gifted to her, the first essence of her in the loft that is now almost entirely half-and-half the two of their tastes.
Euphemia doesn’t say anything, because she doesn’t know what to say, so she ties up her hair and shimmies out of the last of her clothes. She can feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to flower into submission and turn around and beg, oh, please Santino, forgive me, but he should know better because she has never and will never do that for him.
“Cara mia.”
“Do not.” Euphemia’s voice wobbles. She slides into the bathtub before it’s full, the water stinging her skin where it touches. “I can’t stand to hear your voice saying sweet things to me when you are willingly walking yourself into your grave.”
“You are being a little dramatic.” He makes his way over to her, kneeling down beside the porcelain tub, ghosting his fingers over her forehead and then the bridge of her nose, fluttering in a way that treasures her and causes her grief all at once. “Just one job, Euphie. That’s all I’m going to ask of him. And then it’s done, and you won’t have to be worried about the Boogeyman.” The pads of his fingers dip into the hot water and then skim along the slope of her collarbone, raising goosebumps on her skin. “And John Wick, whose lifelong peace you are very concerned about, can go back to his dog and his car.”
Euphemia thinks, it’s never just that, with you, because she knows Santino—she knows he’s hungry, has always been hungry, a boy magicked into a man’s skin all hurt and needing and starved, unable to inhibit himself properly. No self-preservation telling him when to stop, never telling him when enough is enough. Not really.
I see you, though, she thought, her gaze flickering over Santino’s face to trace the handsome lines of his expression. She would have never agreed to marry a man before she saw him without his face off; without knowing the monster underneath.
But while she knows this, and she sees Santino D’Antonio for what he really is, she is an idiot and a fool and loves a man sick with the magic of his own perceived destiny, a destiny he believes he is owed, so she says softly, “Promise me, Santi.”
“On my life,” Santino replies with that boyish charm she knows so well. He speaks as though he is not going to leave her in the morning to visit Baba Yaga, as though she doesn’t fear he won’t ever come back. “Now give me a kiss, princesa.”
“I mean it, Santino—”
“I do, too.” He cocks his head to the side. “I won’t ask twice.”
Euphemia acquiesces; not because she fears what he’ll do if he does feel he has to ask twice—because he does hate that—but because as much as she says she would be happy to have nothing again, she is content to bask in the something that she has now, while she has it.
She kisses the corner of his mouth. He slides his damp fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck and says, “Do you love me?”
“Of course.” Her voice feels rough with an emotion she doesn’t want any of. “Of course, Santi, that’s why I—”
“All I need is a yes or no, my little fox, not an essay.”
Her eyes narrow. She turns her face from him; he shifts his position at the end she’s leaned against, dragging his hands along her shoulders to ease the tension in her muscles. Her body reacts instinctively to him. She is a long cry from the girl scamming rich men out of their wallets and time, but there are some things she is still weak to; touch, the acknowledgment that she has a body, that she is real, to be reassured that she is alive.
Santino is so very good at that. He leans over the end of the tub and kisses her cheek, fingers working into the knots of her shoulders.
I am so afraid, she thinks, her eyelashes fluttering shut. I am so afraid that I will never see old age on you.
“Tesora.” His voice is a lull. Pulling her back in, pushing her back under, reminding her that to relinquish herself to someone is a luxury she does not want to go without anymore. To let someone else take control, to not have to worry about making decisions all the time; this is something that she always wants.
“Yes,” Euphie says, “of course I love you, Santi.”
She can feel his smile against her cheek.
“Good girl.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Tell me your favorite words.”
It’s both early and late; the clock’s cool blue numbers are keeping her awake; Santi’s hand slides along the curve of her hip admiringly above the silk of her nightdress, and his nose brushes the bump at the base of her neck. Euphemia shifts. When she does, the edge of her engagement ring catches on the silky pillowcase, but she doesn’t care—it will always do that, because Santi won’t pick another and Euphie won’t ask him to.
Goosebumps prickle along her skin with the air conditioning, cranked as high as she likes, whispers across it when her shoulder slides out from underneath the comforter. She rolls over to look at him. It’s unsurprising that he’s still awake, and he doesn’t look surprised to see she’s awake, either.
“My favorite words?” she prompts. Santino brings his hand to her face, his thumb dragging absently along her lower lip.
“Si,” he replies. “You are always reading. You can speak a few languages. You must have favorite words, no?”
His request does bring a smile to her face, tired as it is. They may have spent the rest of their waking evening wandering around each other like wounded dogs, wary and licking their wounds, but they are here now, together, in their bed.
Euphie says, “It is late, Santi.”
“And I cannot sleep.” He brushes his nose along her jawline. “But perhaps the soothing voice of my one greatest love will lull me.”
She laughs. Her hand finds his, their fingers interlacing, woven together. He pulls back from her and kisses the engagement ring, but he is waiting. He means it.
“Tendresse,” Euphemia says, the word rolling soft out of her mouth from misuse. Santino quirks a brow expectantly and kisses the pulse point of her wrist. “Tenderness.”
He nods sagely. Against the soft skin of the inside of her wrist, he murmurs, “You are a most tender creature, Euphemia D’Antonio.”
Her fingers slide out of his, running along the slope of his cheekbones and then the bridge of his nose. “That is Euphemia Volpe. If you’ll recall, we’re yet to be married.”
Santino leans in, captures her fingertips playfully with his teeth, and then kisses her palm with a warm, rich chuckle that sends pleasant heat spiraling down her spine. “You will never forget that I was fool enough to say that to you, will you?” he asks. “Tell me another.”
His eyes are just as warm as his voice, and twice as earnest. In these moments, Santino is the most charming; boyish and quick-witted, unburdened by the elements of the world, by his own desires. He thinks of nothing except them. Euphemia feels like she’s in her own little world with him, in their bedroom at three in the morning, while the air conditioner whirrs and ticks and he asks her something so unimportant, like what her favorite words are.
And then, Santino leans in and kisses her cheek, the corner of her mouth, and the underside of her jaw to prompt her.
“Amore,” she murmurs, feeling like the breath has been sucked out of her lungs by his longing. His tenderness.
“Oh,” Santino says, against her temple, “I know that one.”
When his stubble tickles her neck, she squirms, shifting away from him so hat she can take a breath; but he chases her, leans in and captures her in his arms so that he can nose the hair by her ear and kiss there.
“Euphie, my gorgeous girl,” he says in the way that wrenches her heart; drenched and drowned in adoration. “Perfetto e tutto mio.”
Santino wraps his arms around her and pulls her to his chest, his fingers tracing constellations on her back where the night dress slips away from her shoulder blades. Sweet Santi, covetous Santi; she is his greatest art piece, his favorite collector’s item, and in these moments she has never felt more treasured. There is something equal parts safe and selfish in wanting someone to treasure you.
“Say it for me, Euphie. You know I love when you do.”
She buries her face into his neck. Her eyes burn. He will go to Baba Yaga tomorrow, and she will have to pretend not to know, or it will wreck her. Euphie considers ways to keep him in bed in the morning; delay him, make him forget about John Wick and this glory that he is chasing forever.
“Sono tuo,” she murmurs. Tears sting at the corners of her eyes If he feels them against his skin, Santino makes no indication than to card his fingers through her hair. “Always, Santi.”
Always, always, always yours.
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rocorambles · 4 years
Text
Kinktober Day 9: Brat Taming
Pairing: Matsukawa x Reader
Genre/Warnings: Yandere, Toxic Relationships, NSFW, Non-Con, Whipping, Degradation, Mafia AU
Author’s Note: This could be considered as being part of the same AU as my Mafia Oikawa fic, but can also be read alone! Link to the Yandere Mafia Oikawa fic here. 
It’s amazing how much Oikawa let you get away with. Matsukawa can’t even remember a time where you showed even a hint of fear despite being surrounded by men who could kill you in a matter of seconds, who could torture you until you wished you were dead. You’ve always just been attached to Oikawa at the hip, hanging off his arms at events, sitting in his lap during meetings. And he doesn’t think Oikawa is really capable of love, but whatever you two had was as close to the sickening L word as possible when you’re part of the mafia. 
Matsukawa had seen you as merely eye candy in the beginning when Oikawa had one day introduced you to everyone and he had brushed you off as just another plaything for the boss to toy around with until it broke. But then months passed and then years and you were still around, brazen in your attitude, sharp with your words, mocking with your actions. Overall, just a brat. And yet it seemed that no matter what you did or what you said, no matter the chaos you caused internally, no matter the outright disrespect you showed to Oikawa, the brunette just waved it off, laughing the overall tension away. Sure, you were “punished” from time to time, but when your punishments just ended with your pleasured screams and you proudly displaying your new love marks to everyone the next day, it was hard to take them seriously. 
He wondered if Oikawa was becoming soft, weak, but he didn’t question the man. He’d stood by his side far too long to turn his back on him now and he thanks whoever’s listening that he decided to stay loyal when he accidentally walks in on the two of you while he’s on his way to deliver a message to Oikawa. And if he thought you were attractive before, the sight of your wanton face full of lust as Oikawa penetrates you over and over again is seared into his brain now. He knows he should immediately turn and leave, come back later, but he’s rooted to the spot and he can feel his cock twitch as he fully takes in your lewd moans and before he realizes it, his hand is palming his bulge and that’s the exact moment you decide to turn your head and he freezes as the two of you make eye contact through the gap of the ajar door. 
Reality and common sense finally come crashing down on him as he swiftly escapes and in the privacy of his room he roughly shoves his pants and boxers down, hurriedly rubbing himself off to the mental picture of your naked body lewdly arching as if it were begging for more, putting itself on display for its owner and as thick spurts spill all over his hand, he wonders what it would be like to be the one who owned you. 
It’s just a thought he had in a moment of passion, he reasons to himself. There’s no way he’d take you right from under Oikawa’s nose. And so he ignores you. Or at least he tries to. But maybe you’ve been hanging around Oikawa for far too long, maybe that’s how you’ve become so relentless and unknowing of when to stop with your brattiness and teasing. And Matsukawa grits his teeth as you purposefully seek his gaze, languidly and sensually licking and sucking anything your mouth can get a hold of while you stare at him, subtly touching yourself and moaning like a whore whenever he’s nearby. But the breaking point is when he’s seated across from Oikawa and you at dinner one day and he stiffens in shock when he feels something grinding against his groin. He subtly looks under the tablecloth and something begins to burn hot and heavy inside of him when he sees your silky stocking clad feet playing with him, fondling his rapidly hardening cock, and suddenly it’s your turn to stiffen in shock when he menacingly smiles at you. Excitement builds inside of him at the fear in your eyes as you immediately retract your legs and sink deeper into Oikawa’s hold on you.
Interesting. Looks like you could be tamed after all. 
Matsukawa plays the long game and he waits and waits until finally one night, after a successful raid that he’s led, a drunk and high Oikawa slaps him hard on the back in congratulations, asking him what he wants as a reward. And he takes a deep breath before determinedly asking for a taste of you. 
The room freezes and for a second his life flashes before his eyes, but when Oikawa merely shrugs his shoulders and tells him that you’ll be waiting in his bed tonight (after all, you’re a small price to pay for a life-long friend, someone he considers a brother), he pins you down with a triumphant grin that twists into something more feral at the panic racing through your eyes.
He thinks it’s adorable that even when you’re cornered and trapped, you try to put up a strong front, throwing coy words at him as you seductively posture yourself on his bed and only the slight tremor in your voice gives any indication of the true fear coursing through you. 
“Aww did you get tired of just imagining me? How many times did you jack off to the memory of Oikawa fucking me while you stood there watching like a creep? Come on. Let’s get this over with. I bet you’ll cum just from sticking your tip in me.”
Clearly you’ve let the heady power of being Oikawa’s favorite toy get to you, trick you into thinking you’re untouchable. Oh how wrong you are and Matsukawa enjoys the thrill he feels as realization slowly but surely sinks into you when he roughly flips you onto your stomach and removes his belt and all that fills the room are your agonized screams mixed with the slicing of air as leather whips down on you leaving bright red welts in their wake. He doesn’t stop until your lungs and hoarse throat won’t even allow you the luxury of voicing your pain and when you’re finally silent he slides a hand under your chin and forces you to look up at him.
Hmm. Looks like you have a bit more training to go through to tame the fire he still sees flaring within you, but you’re getting there. And he smiles as you remain silent despite the hate radiating in your eyes as he purposefully digs his blunt nails into the painful lash marks on your soft skin. 
So maybe he’s gone a bit overboard, but really you only have yourself to blame. Matsukawa has always been thorough and you just have so many rebellious quirks he needs to force back into shape. Luckily for you, he’s a patient man who never leaves a project unfinished and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy how resistant you are. There’s just something about you that makes him want to break you to pieces and rebuild you into the perfect toy and that’s just solidified by the smoldering embers he still sees in you as you weakly sneer and spit at him even with his cum smeared all across your face, even with both your lower holes gaping and used, a mix of blood and semen pooling underneath your limp body.  
And spurred on by his desire to fully dominate you, his fingers are racing across his phone as he makes a few calls and switches around some bodies. Matsukawa is known for his more...sadistic tendencies...and mixed with his connections to various underground body cleaning companies, it’s not hard to convince a furious Oikawa that there had been a terrible accident when he lost control of himself around you and the mangled bloodied corpse on the bed looks enough like you to make the lie believable. Sure, he’ll need to make it up to Oikawa with an irritating amount of favors and ass kissing, but it seems like a small price to pay when he gets to go back home to you, his little pet project. 
And when things finally blow over and the dynamics of the gang are back to normal as Oikawa finds a new pretty plaything to mess around with, the higher ups crassly joke about your poor fate. It’s Hanamaki who first brings it up one night while Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Matsukawa, and him are doing lines of coke. 
“Damn, Mattsun. I know your dick is big, but I didn’t think it was big enough to literally kill someone.” 
The light brown haired man snorts at his own joke, too high out of his mind to care about the way Oikawa slightly pouts at his words and Matsukawa watches in amusement as Iwaizumi growls at them to be a little more respectful of the dead. 
Obviously, it’s an exaggeration to say his dick could kill you, but he wonders how the three men would react if they could see how his cock could make you brain dead now, how just having his cock stuffed inside you is enough to have you lie there like a warm fuck doll for him to use whenever and however he wants. A small part of him wants to show Oikawa how well behaved you are now, how obedient and submissive you’ve become, how docile you can be when trained, how even the biggest brats like you can be fully tamed. But his more possessive side wins out as he snorts another white dusty line and he stays quiet as a coil of lust begins to pool in his stomach at the image of your kneeling naked form waiting patiently for him at home.    
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awintersrose · 3 years
Note
I’m late but for kinkoctober but ur writing is so flawless, this suggestion will be an odd pair, little to no fanbase but Kabuto x Sasori. 🥺
Pairing: Kabuto/Sasori
Prompt: Anal Play/Coercion (originally Day 18 from this list of prompts) AND Dirty Little Secret for @naruto-smut-monday
Obvious warnings are obvious with the prompts above, also includes D/s play, biting/scratching, and rimming.
All Kinktober fills should be considered explicit unless stated otherwise!
AO3 LINK
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Waiting for an assignation is never a simple matter. Punctual to the point of arriving early at everything, Kabuto looks at his watch for perhaps the fifth time, and he counts down the minutes. His date was very specific in their instructions, and he prefers to make a good impression. Kabuto can respect a desire for punctuality, for exacting details intended to ensure obedience.
He knows himself to be just as exacting in his preferences when exerting control, and based on this similarity alone, he has high hopes for this meeting. The contact came highly recommended by his own current favorite - precisely because said favorite was known to turn Kabuto’s own reality on its very head and make him question which end was up and which was down.
If only it weren't so painfully obvious to his partner when such a feat was possible - but Obito had the uncanny ability to read him as quickly as a cheap novel, and just as easily. Obito, his switch of a partner who was meant to be and still mostly acts as Kabuto’s own submissive.
Secret needs will out, however, and these roles are now flipped with surprising regularity, which is what led him here in the first place. The fact still remains that Kabuto doesn't bend for just anyone, and he still gets tetchy about the prospect and process of exploring the depths of his own submission with a new Dominant. Obito, however, seems certain that this match will be the right fit.
And so Kabuto waits.
His new contact’s profile is sparse, with photographs that only display a slight figure masked in black, with brilliantly crimson hair that drew the eye at once. An artist by trade, 'Exploring', their status said, which leaves even more to the imagination.
It often only takes one strikingly unique feature to catch Kabuto's visual interest, to make him wonder; to call to his analytical side, which loves to break down each solitary detail of a play partner until the origin of its nature is revealed. Until their true nature is revealed right along with it.
Whether it is skin like a bleach-splashed canvas, or cat-like golden eyes, his long-term partners have always been unique. Both of the latter possessed features that were the result of rare conditions, or genetic mutations that made said partners even more captivating, whether under the lash... or wielding it.
With the prospect of a new connection, all Kabuto knows for sure is that his date has hair like spun garnets, a certain cruel twist to a delicate mouth, and eyes like a fine umeshu. Not exactly unique, but there is still something there that captures his imagination.
Perhaps the artist is merely very good at their trade, taking a skilled hand to the composition of their photographs. Looks can certainly be deceiving—he should have predicted that his expectations would be turned on their head.
Which is how Kabuto finds himself trussed and stripped and poised on his knees before said artist once their negotiations are dispensed with.
Finely manicured fingertips caress the line of his spine before nails scratch, three at once, raising lines of glowing sensation across his shoulder blades. And they don’t stop their downward trek, marking Kabuto, making him gasp. The air makes a sharp sound passing through his teeth.
“You’ll do, but for more reasons than you think. Reasons you may not expect.” Sasori says, “And for exactly those reasons, you’ll give me everything I want.”
“Will I?”
That hand takes hold of a generous handful of his hair and steadily pulls him back, forcing him to arch his spine. Those cruel lips brush Kabuto’s ear as Sasori speaks, his soft voice bright with amusement, “You will, or this little kingdom you’ve built for yourself will be winnowed away into dust and thrust into the wind for anyone to take. Admit it… you want me anyway.”
The words are smug even in their gentle tone, accented by soft puffs of humid breath against Kabuto’s neck, his loosened hair. He cannot see Sasori’s eyes, and a small, creeping desperation begins in the pit of his belly. Sasori pulls harder, making him twist, rubied lips nipping Kabuto’s own briefly, roughly.
“You should have known better than to seek me out when you’re entirely that snake’s creature… he did have rather delightful tastes though. Did you kneel for him too? Recount all your dirty little secrets for him?”
“You know I did,” Kabuto grits his teeth as Sasori’s dainty fist tightens harder in his hair.
“I know you did, which is why I’ll make sure he sees every lurid moment of this if you don’t do exactly as I like. And then you know he’ll cast you away for dallying with me, faithless boy...”
The threat feels real, so damn real that goosebumps chase the lengths of his limbs, and Kabuto shivers, allowing fear to catapult him closer to compliance. His pulse notches higher and his mouth runs dry. Sasori releases him as if throwing him back down again, but it’s only the effective toppling of his own weight. Every new touch is feather light, even as the artist’s hands explore his body, shoving him onto all fours, undignified, yet perfectly on display.
Sasori’s breath ripples down his spine, the wet heat of his tongue drifting along the lines his own nails followed in the moments prior. Blood rushes in Kabuto’s ears, and his pale hair falls forward, obscuring his burning cheeks as he sinks lower on his elbows, allowing Sasori full access to his body.
“Shameless and pretty all at once, just look at you, ready for anything,” Sasori muses, “I’d hate to keep you waiting.”
Sasori’s questing, tormenting hands begin to part him wide, exposing him further, nails digging into the softer flesh of his buttocks. Kabuto grits his teeth as Sasori’s wicked tongue plies at his hole, two deft fingers moving to spread wetness around the orifice before one of them dips inside him with ease.
“Ready for anything, indeed.”
A bottle clicks and cool slick drips over his skin, making Sasori’s next movements nearly effortless. He dips in and out with shallow strokes, toying at the edges of Kabuto’s passage, As Sasori bends to bite the curve of his hip, sharp and hot like a brand. He knows without knowing that the artist has marked him, and Kabuto gasps, placing a fist beneath his lips to muffle any noises which might come unbidden.
He fails, of course, when Sasori laughs against his skin, finding his prostate with near expert precision.
The pressure inside him shifts wider, deeper as digits spread and curl, scraping against nerves suddenly sensitized beyond compare. Kabuto’s sight wavers as if plunged underwater, his cock hard and already dripping, too much, too soon. Sasori’s methodical exploration only continues, with another finger wedging in place beside the others.
“You’re so needy that I’m almost thinking you could take my whole hand. You would if I wanted you too, wouldn’t you, greedy boy?” Sasori’s fingers drag and exploit every new bit of knowledge he’s gained until Kabuto is unable to stem the pleading noises that are not quite muffled by his fist.
“Use your words.”
“I--I can but it’s-it’s-too-much!” He blurts, his voice arching higher on the last few words. Kabuto’s face burns and his head swims, and he squeezes his eyes shut, fighting the urge to shove back anyway and chase the high that is just outside of his capability.
Sasori gives a chuffing little laugh, teasing his pinky finger just along the rim of him until Kabuto whines, and with a twist of his hand, all four enter to press and tease.
“Oh, good boy… you’re going to come just like this, only accepting what I give you for as long as it takes…”
It doesn’t take long at all for his voice to break the silence, for sticky heat to spatter his belly and the floor beneath him. For oblivion to cloud his mind and numb his awareness.
But it’s only the first part of their night.
Later, after Kabuto has been wrung out in every way he might have imagined, he is treated to a massage and a short rest wrapped in a warm blanket. His pretty new play partner fetches his things and offers him a drink. White tea, hot and perfect.
“So tell me, did we explore everything you wanted to?” Sasori appraises him from head to toe, searching for unease. The artist is more attentive than Kabuto had imagined, leaving no detail unexamined. It’s no wonder that he has connections with individuals that Kabuto respects among their circles.
“Ahh… yes, thank you for following the plan.”
"Any Dominant worth their salt would do no less. Your illustrious mentor failed you if he didn't set that expectation." Sasori sniffs, still maintaining physical contact.
Kabuto hazards a wry smile. "He did. I'd have stopped everything in its tracks if you'd been lacking. But as it stands I'd like to see you again."
Sasori gives a curt nod, but the softening of his mouth gives away his satisfaction. "So long as you never leave me waiting, we’ll have much to explore."
Perhaps it's a good thing that Kabuto's punctuality is a personal guarantee.
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warmau · 4 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au mark happy birthday mr. lee | find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong 
it’s your first day at work and so everything has to go wrong 
your manager is half ready to fire you by lunchtime, only because you’ve managed to knock over half a display of books, incorrectly wring up a customer, AND for some reason can’t shelve as fast as expected 
all things you are embarrassed of, but are promising - nearly begging - that you’ll get better at
this is your first summer job, you need the experience 
your manager grits their teeth, mumbles something about how they’ve never seen someone cause so much havoc in a bookstore - thank god this isn’t a restaurant or you would have accidentally spilled hot coffee on someone too
they wave you off, tell you to go fix that display you clobbered and you brighten up, turning on your heel
just to come face to face with a boy, unfamiliar, and wide-eyed
he’s wearing the bookstores uniform and blinks twice before springing into a smile
“hey, im mark!” 
you mumble out a greeting as he takes your hand to shake. his smile is so bright, it nearly causes you to bump into another shelf
which mark realizes quickly enough as to outstretch his hand and support your elbow before you go tumbling
“sorry!” you squeak “im a bit of a klutz,,,,”
he grins, his teeth show and you’re reminded of the way newborn kittens look when they’re yawning
“no sweat, i am too!”
the bookstore you work in is small, and you’re not exaggerating when you compare it to the size of a tightly compact closet - tucked neatly between a larger cafe with a backyard garden and a tailors shop thats been closed all summer long
at first you don’t really understand why it needs two employees, but then you look at the schedule and see that mark’s position isn’t the same as yours
in fact, he’s the delivery boy for people who place orders to the store
it’s confirmed once again when you see him riding down the street on a beat up, but loved yellow bike that he chains to a stop sign outside the nearby cafe
he waves at you when he comes inside, you shyly avert your eyes back to sweeping the front steps of the store
but when he walks past, you smell the same scent on him that hasn’t changed in the two weeks you’ve been here
a mix of raindrops on forest leaves, blueberries, and general airiness you’ve never really encountered before
his rucksack is filled to the brim with books wrapped in brown paper, and rolls of magazines and newspapers
his white converse slowly get scuffed as the days of summer roll on by
and your heart also grows softer for him too
you think it mainly starts when mark comes in early about halfway through summer and starts helping you sort the shelves
you didn’t ask him to do so, he just decided he would 
and you two silently work side by side, until mark gets the courage to start humming to himself too
at some point, he starts singing under his breath too, it’s a song you know so you join him at some point mid chorus
and he turns to you with sparkling eyes
“you like this song?”
“it’s one of my favorites!”
he reaches out to high-five you, and you feel your cheeks get hot when he takes a hold of your hand in his palm when you touch
the next day, he comes in early again and this time hands you one of his earphones 
you both look over your shoulders to make sure the manager is slacking off in the back, before mark turns on his playlist
and you two just enjoy the music - shelving books - and exchanging glances when you hear any shuffling noises from the stock room
see that’s how it start - and then comes along the lunch breaks 
you eat earlier than mark, simply since you work the morning and he only comes around in the afternoons
but you move from eating in the back to eating on the corner of the cafe, as mark leans up against his bike and reads through the orders he has to deliver
“ah - another order for jung jaehyun”
“oh! i know him!”
you perk up and mark tries hard to hide the slight disappointment in his voice because you just sound so,,,,,,,,,excited
“o-oh is he - is he your -”
he almost wobbles right over his bike chain
“your boyfriend?”
you laugh, shaking your head - “no! no, i know him from class. he’s not my type at all.”
mark looks like he wants to ask what you type is but you check your watch and jump up, your thirty minutes are up!
“do you want my dessert?”
you drop some taffy in his palm and rush back to the store without waiting for an answer
mark stares down at the candies and grins to himself. 
ah, well if jaehyun’s not their type than maybe someone more like me.......
one of the servers from the cafe, a boy around you and mark’s age, jungwoo befriends you 
coming out during lunch to share whatever the cafe might have as specials, usually savory rolls and iced drinks
you three group around mark’s bike until you’re called back to work 
and one afternoon, jungwoo asks mark just as you once again rush back to the store
“are you two dating?”
“what!”
mark’s ears go cherry red
“huh, well it’s just you look at them like they’re -”
jungwoo puts his hand under his chin and then snaps his fingers
“ah! like they’re your whole world!”
mark tells him that’s NOT true, and he makes jungwoo swear not to mention it when you come around
but it doesn’t stop him from thinking about you for days after without stop
you’re thinking about him too
with every bookmark you place in a customers bag, with every display you set up, with every new shipment you carry into the back
you just ,,,,,,,,,,,, want to see mark - and when he comes through the door - it’s like the bleak, sticky summer day turns refreshing and colorful
finally, just as the summer season creeps closer and closer to fall
you find yourself alone outside the store and mark is coming back from his last delivery
“is the manager gone?”
“yep, he asked me to lock up!”
you dangle the keys and mark leans his bike against the little bench outside the shop window
“hey, before you do - i need to get something inside.”
“ok!”
you open the door, the bell at the top softly jingles through the darkness
you and mark go inside and he weaves his way through the books and behind the counter
he rummages around and you lean over to see what he’s looking for
just as he pops back up, his hoodie in one hand - he realizes you two are inches apart now
your upper body leaned over the counter and his slim figure on the otherside of it
even in the darkness, he can make the outline of your features
and he wonders if you can see how red he’s gotten
your mind is empty of thoughts because you two can make out his features
his handsome jawline, his doe-eyes, his almost jealousy inducing long and pretty eyelashes
you close your eyes first and mark swallows down the rock in his throat as he leans over
his hoodie drops back to the floor and his hands shake so he holds the corner of the counter as his lips press gently against yours
it’s sweet, it’s perfect, but - it’s short
because the door opens again and you both break away in terror - only to see jungwoo in the frame
“huh, i thought the shop was close- oh am i interrupting something?”
you and mark both shout a definite, “no”, that actually sounds more suspicious than either of you mean it to
jungwoo’s laugh echoes as he closes the door behind him and adds a, “ok suuuuuuuure”
when you step back out into the summer night with mark at your side - you’re both too shy to look at the other
but your hands brush and mark’s pinkie locks on yours
it’s quiet, the busy street silent as every business is closed and the bustling crowds are at home to escape the humidity 
“do you want a ride home?”
you turn and find mark’s already looking at you, his eyes warm under the street lamps that flicker on the ends of the curbsides
“sure, but - how will we both fit on your bike?”
you feel wobbly, but mark assures you you’ll be fine, his bike might look old but she runs like a charm
and with that he kicks off the stand and starts peddling, you on the back where his rucksack usually sits full of books
you’re still unsure so you wrap your hands around his waist and mark makes a small noise he’s happy you don’t seem to hear
he bikes you home in the comforting silence of a dawning night
when he drops you off outside your house, you don’t get off for a second - head buried in his back
“mark?”
you whisper
“hmm?”
“will you kiss me goodnight too?”
now, all these years later, that old bike is broken and somewhere in the attic 
as are those uniforms from the bookshop, mark’s hoodie that he left with you that night, and the photo you took on your last day of work
you and mark are holding each others hands and grinning, the manager is barely managing a grimace, somehow jungwoo is even in the photo
you think one afternoon that you should go get that photo and frame it, it’ll look so nice next to you and mark’s wedding photo
mark turns to you and agrees, maybe he’ll get that bike down too so he can fix it up 
and you two can take another ride, just like you used to, all those years ago
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