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#also player is not how I would describe this but that’s the word they used before so
notsogracefullyput · 21 days
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Eddie I thought Buck was the “player?” Hmm?? Did you not just have a talk with your son about this? Setting a bad example smh
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autistichalsin · 7 months
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Astarion and Halsin's traumas were meant to be foils
When characters are foils, there are two components: first, there's a shared background, event, personality trait, etc. But how the characters act from then on are diametrically opposed, allowing us an insight into the various ways people can act or respond to one core "element". In this case, I would argue that Halsin and Astarion are meant to be foils in their responses to sexual slavery.
Both Astarion and Halsin were denied their freedom and agency, raped and abused. Both were very young when this happened; Astarion was in his 30s, which is before elves are considered to reach their majority, while Halsin's age wasn't specified, but he goes out of his way to mention "youth" many times. In other words- both were young enough for this to be a formative memory for them. Both carry deep traumas from their experiences. Both are incredibly physically attractive, and allude to or outright say that their looks played a part in their captivity; Astarion was used to seduce others for Cazador, while Halsin notes that his Drow captors "took an interest in him" and saw him "as a novelty"- most likely for his looks as much as for his race. Both were raped by people of high social status- Cazador a wealthy influential figure in Baldur's Gate, and Halsin's captors high-ranking Drow nobles. That is what they have in common.
But their responses to their traumas are complete opposites.
First, just the nature of how they express their traumas. Astarion is LOUD about it. He expresses it all openly; he is traumatized. And he knows he didn't deserve what happened to him.
Halsin buries it. He pretends it was no big deal. He victim-blames himself, saying it was his fault for being a "foolhardy young Druid" intent on seeing the Underdark.
Astarion despises Cazador; he wants revenge. He will do anything to get revenge on his abuser. This need for closure is the core of Astarion's entire arc, to the point that of all the scenarios I can think of where Astarion leaves the party, most of them involve his journey to kill Cazador.
Halsin has trauma bonds (also known as Stockholm Syndrome.) He speaks kindly of his captors even when describing their abuse. He says he feared for his life, but he "did some things that were less than necessary," making it sound like he was complicit in his own rape. He can't even bring himself to call them captors (except for one option in the new datamined dialogue), nor himself a sex slave; instead, he was something "between a guest, prisoner, and consort."
Astarion is (in most cases) ultimately allowed closure; he kills Cazador. In the bad path, he then joins the cycle of abuse by killing the other vampires; in good scenarios, he only kills Cazador, and then has a cathartic, tearful breakdown after.
Halsin never had (or seemed to want) that closure; he escaped while his captors were fighting another noble house, and his freedom was all he wanted. Whether his captors lived or not, he doesn't care.
Astarion is younger, and his trauma a shorter time ago, yet he has processed what happened more; he is both further ahead and further behind on his healing journey than Halsin.
Halsin is older, and his trauma longer ago, but he hasn't processed what happened to him; bouncing from trauma to trauma and being forced into a leadership role caused him to have to bury it. He is both further behind and further ahead on his healing journey than Astarion.
Astarion makes a point of avoiding intimacy; he only has a few exceptions with the player. (Ascended Astarion becomes much more confident, but that's a bit different.)
Halsin is incredibly sexually open. He enjoys sex of all kinds; he finds it comforting, the only way he can openly express his emotions after having to stay in control as Archdruid all the time.
Astarion dissociates during the Drow brothel orgy. He is miserable and uncomfortable, but doesn't regret it; he needed to take the step to explore his sexuality on his terms. Even if it triggered him, he still wanted the experience, and indeed, finding what one's triggers are is an important step for many survivors.
Halsin enjoys himself during the orgy, and even seems pleased after, but then he lets the cracks show, talking about how he was held as a slave. He enjoyed it during, but after, the thoughts started creeping in, as he was reminded of his captivity.
Astarion will respond to cruel player comments about Cazador with a massive hit in approval, and possibly breaking up with a romanced player, like when they say they have a kidnapping fantasy about him if he's kidnapped by the spawn.
Halsin, in the new dialogue options, doesn't seem to react that much even to cruel comments; when the player threatens to sell him back into slavery, all he has to say is, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct." (Followed by him having an epiphany that they WERE his captors) He never gets angry at the player despite the absolute evil of this option; as with nearly every other mean thing the player says to him, he simply shrugs it off, clearly sad but brushing it off as always. Being the "bigger person", literally and metaphorically.
Astarion was left with scars all over his back, symbolizing how this is something he'll never break free from entirely.
Halsin was left with no scars, his only prominent one being from an unrelated incident, symbolizing how much work he puts in to hide his traumas.
It's understated, so a lot of players aren't going to think about it much because of this, but I think it's worth bringing up as a note on characterization!
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kenntolog · 29 days
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𝝑𝝔 an: i liked writing this, its kinda angsty btw. i hope dear anon who requested this likes it!! sorry that it took this long heh ;)
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if you had to describe geto suguru with one word it would be ethereal.
his borderline unreal appearance — long raven locks gliding on the delicate arch of his back, sharp yet inviting features of his beautiful face, his shoulders that are as broad as ocean compared to the elegant curve of his waist. his thin, blueish pink lips that are usually a little upturned, high cheekbones revealing his slightly hollow cheeks.
his gorgeous purple orbs that mixed everything else make him the most beautiful man alive.
and as you watch him talking with a unfamiliar woman from across the room; finger gripping the leg of your champagne glass tightly while your other hand’s fingers dig into the meat of your upper arm to calm down your nerves, you still can’t bring yourself to be angry at the woman.
can’t bring yourself to be angry at the way she looks up at him with hooded eyes, hand holding onto his forearm whenever she laughs exaggeratedly at something he says, the way she stands a little too close for you liking and he doesn’t seem to be minding the invasion of his personal space. can’t bring yourself to be angry at the way his eyes don’t leave her face and he looks at her and the way he leans in to hear her better.
you’ve known geto for longer than he’s known you. before you exceeded from your position as a research associate to the head research analyst, before you officially met with geto suguru, ceo gojo satoru’s head assistant(which basically made him his partner), you had the fill of the gossip going around the workplace about how geto along with gojo was the biggest player.
when you started dating geto suguru, all of the chatter you used to listen to faded into the background because not only he was beautiful, but he was also very charming. it didn’t take long for you to fall in love with him and accept that he’s fallen in love with you too. how could you not?
but the ugly roots of self-consciousness always moved further inside you whenever you remembered his past conquests or saw geto being himself with other women.
that’s the thing; that’s just the way geto is. his voice is always smooth with a playful lilt in it, his eyes are always attentive and flirtatiously droopy, he always looks down at people, literally, and that works wonders whether he wants to charm a person or disarm them. that’s part of his job, too.
geto suguru is the embodiment of perfection and you wonder why you’re even considered to be his partner, your perfection fading away as soon as you feel like you belong to suguru, but he doesn’t belong to you.
but suguru is not stupid. he knows about everything; all the rumors, all the facts, everything said about himself and what may trigger those nasty thoughts in your pretty little head. he knows he has a face that is more than likeable and knows how to use all of his assets, which he does constantly since his work requires a lot of talking. and a lot of persuading.
geto also knows — that alone isn’t enough to calm you down and push away the string of mean thoughts occurring every time, so he tries to get to you differently. break you apart slowly and then pick you back up, all by himself.
gazing at you with love laced through his narrow eyes while his arms wrap around your seemingly tiny body that always tries to avoid him whenever your intrusive thoughts take over your great mind. saying your name with a tone as sweet as honey, his touch as soft as a feather, his mind set only on making you feel loved and comforted so you forget everything and give him your precious smile.
and it works wonders because suguru may have been a different person before he met you and decided to choose you as his one and only, and some parts of him maybe stayed till this day, but he won’t hesitate to show you that his love for you is eternal while everything else is temporary over and over again, until you get it and even after that.
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galedekarios · 28 days
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minsc & gale
recently i've been doing a playthrough taking minsc along during the limited amount of time we do get to connect with his character in the game and i have to say he's growing on me in a way he didn't in previous titles.
i wanted to take the opportunity here to write a short post about his relationship with gale because that, too, is something i found myself enjoying despite the (too) few interactions that we have between them.
minsc's initial thoughts about gale
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Player: How are you and Gale getting along? Minsc: I do not wish to speak of the wizard. Minsc: I could not have said it better myself. - Player Option 1: Gale's great - what's your problem with him? Minsc: He came to me one night with a little book of mischief - full of words and their meanings. Minsc: 'Posterior', he says. 'Can you say 'posterior'?' I refused! Minsc does not need to know the language of wizards. Player: 'Posterior' isn't wizard-talk - it's another word for 'butt'. Minsc: It is an inferior word. Far too long to use in a battle cry, which is where a 'butt' belongs. Minsc: Gale would do better to educate himself in the ways of sword and steel than to throw these pointy words at Minsc. Minsc: Ai, yes. Gale also owns a cat. A cat with wings! That is most unnerving for poor Boo. Player: You should give him a break - he's only trying to help. Minsc: Never! If he is not careful, Boo will shred his books and use them as bedding! - Player Option 2: Did you know that he has an explosive magical orb in his chest that could destroy a city? Minsc: WHAT? Minsc: That is a thousand times more interesting than anything that has ever been written in a book. Minsc: GALE! MY GOOD FRIEND! WHERE ARE YOU? MINSC AND BOO WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT THE EXPLODING.
they may not start off on the right foot, but with gale's genuine interest in other people's cultures as well as his perception and easy-going nature that changes:
sorcerous sundries
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Minsc: Minsc has never trusted places such as this. Too much of a wizard's power can be simply packaged and picked up. devnote: Grumbling as we make our way through the shelves of Sorcerous Sundries Minsc: Well, picked up by all but Minsc. When he touches the many delicate little jars, oh how the wizards shout and stare! devnote: Revealing that his objection of Sorcerous Sundries is not in fact a deep philosophical belief that wizards have too much power - they just make him feel stupid and awkward when he pokes at their things Gale: Fear not, Minsc. You have a wizard at your side who positively encourages such curiosity. You'll fit right in. devnote: Reassuring Minsc: Obliged, wizard. Should we find our way to a weaponsmith, Minsc will rough you up a little - so that you too can fit in. devnote: Warm, comradely, would genuinely be doing Gale a favour
i feel like it truly speaks to gale's character that he doesn't dismiss minsc here - neither his feelings of inadequacy nor his innate curiosity about the things he perceives as wizardly.
it would've been very easy for gale - the wizard prodigy, the former chosen, to archwizard - to act the part of the haughty scholar, akin to the arrogant wizards that minsc describes in this banter, looking down on him, shouting at him, but gale doesn't.
gale reassures minsc, encourages him, telling him he'll fit right in. it reminds me of the way he treats karlach and fostering her interest in books and reading. another pair of seemingly polar opposites that still find a connection. i do think gale is quite natural at this, despite his long time spent in isolation.
and minsc does appreciate it - his tone changes to one of warmth, one of camaraderie - and i think this is also when minsc's perception of gale changes: from the annoying wizard to someone he sees as a companion and friend.
rashemi traditions
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Minsc: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt, with all of this stringy hair in your face. Gale: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed it was a custom of some sort. devnote: Curious, referring to Minsc's origins Minsc: Oh, no! Most warriors of Rashemen wear long battle-braids, weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp? Gale: Thank you, but I'm more wizard than warrior. I'm not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting. devnote: Very politely declining
i like this banter for several reasons: i think not only does it show the progression of their relationship with minsc offering to show gale the traditions of his homeland, gale also shows the same curiosity he shows many different cultures and ways of life, same as he does with lae'zel for instance and githyanki culture.
when he declines minsc's offer, he does so politely, without insulting minsc's traditions, putting the onus on himself instead. he's the wizard, not the warrior.
house of hope
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Minsc: Gale! You will perhaps able to explain where Boo has not - what exactly is the difference between a devil and a demon? Gale: A fascinating question, one that boils down to which criteria we choose to apply. Are we speaking about the physiological? Theological? Etymological? devnote: In teacher-mode - up for an in-depth, intellectual discussion Minsc: Eh. Just how-to-kill... -ical. devnote: Non-plussed, echoing Gale's ending every word with 'ical' Gale: Oh. Then for your purposes, they are exactly the same. devnote: Disappointed
this banter genuinely made me laugh. again, i like how it shows the progression of their friendship, to the point of where minsc goes from finding gale annoying to imitating his speech. and gale doesn't put it beyond minsc to have an 'in-depth, intellectual' discussion... even if he is disappointed by the end of their banter, realising that minsc's priorities are... elsewhere.
wychlaran
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depending on your party composition and who you take with you, minsc can also call gale his wychlaran.
The Wychlaran, meaning "wise old women" in the ancient language of Halardrim, also known as the Witches of Rashemen outside their lands, were the spiritual leaders of Rashemen, communing with the spirits and guiding the souls of the Rashemi people.
minsc does use it, too, to describe a special bond and a sense of duty and protectiveness to the people he ascribes this title to. he did so in bg1 with dynaheir and in bg2 with aerie.
elminster
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Minsc: It must be difficult for Gale to imagine great Elminster a-courting. Writing poems. Doing... certain... deeds. Gale: Long before my time, thank goodness. That's not an image I care to dwell on. Minsc: Ugh. It is difficult for Minsc to think of, too. Let us speak no more of it. Minsc: ... Minsc: Of Elminster and the sex, I mean.
another banter that did genuinely make me laugh despite the seriousness of the situation, especially given the bond that elminster and gale share as well, which speaks of paternal feelings on elminster's part that come with a certain sense of responsibility, as well as gale's admiration, but also often exasperation with his former mentor.
on a more serious note, minsc offers great insights in his interactions with gale and gale's story:
mystra and the vremyonni
The vremyonni or Old Ones were an arcane brotherhood in Rashemen. Men that were arcane spellcasters in Rashemen had two choices, exile or to join the vremyonni. Many vremyonni were kept alive for eons by longevity magic. Vremyonni were expert weaponsmiths and magic item creators. On very rare occasions, vremyonni would fight in the defense of Rashemen. Vremyonni used secrets of magic that even the Witches of Rashemen did not use, destructive spells forbidden among the wilds of Rashemen, in case such magic was needed. The Running Rocks harbored secret strongholds of the vremyonni. All vremyonni wore masks.
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Minsc: Gale reminds me of the vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rashemen. Minsc: While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. Minsc: It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth I thought it born of caution, after some catastrophe wrought by wizardly men-folk of old. Minsc: Now I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm? Minsc: Though this suggests that Mystra has never tempted a witch into foolishness. Not that I would blaspheme by suggesting otherwise. Minsc: I forget why I began this long and winding story. Yes Boo - we have been spending too long around the wizard.
i think this is a very interesting banter, especially since it's also only marked to trigger if gale agrees to return the crown to mystra.
it's easy to dismiss this banter, laugh it off as just another instance of minsc being minsc, but i think it's important to consider it within the context of game canon and what has been shown to us.
it's a story and everything within a story is there for a reason.
another great insight from minsc comes if gale is pushed towards the crown by the player:
gale and godhood
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Minsc: Who among us has not been spurned by a lover? But a word of advice, if Minsc may be so bold: Minsc: Let the wizard lick his wounds. Write some rickety rhymes, and weep most manfully into his hamster's hide. Eh - his cat's hide. Minsc: But... his boasting is unbecoming. 'Claim godhood', he says? Will this make him any less a man with a half-mended heart?
again, minsc does at times share great insight into other characters and he does so here again with gale:
will this make him any less a man with a half-mended heart?
i think it quite accurately goes straight to the crux of what makes it so very easy to push gale towards godhood: he is hurt. he feels abandoned. by his goddess. by his former lover. both as a mystran and on deeply personal level.
he is drifting, seeking something to hold his head above the water. if it's not the protag's love or friendship, it will be the crown.
anyhow, i never expected to write this when i first learned that minsc would be a companion, but i truly did enjoy him and his interactions with gale in particular.
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omegalomania · 1 year
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the full apple music interview with zane lowe is out! we got snippets of it when love from the other side dropped, but they finally rolled out the full thing. here are some highlights that stood out to me :)
patrick describes pete's lyrics as what gets him out of bed in the morning. if pete doesn't send him lyrics, he doesn't write a song.
andy and pete used to draw fake snake tattoos on each other using magic markers as kids omg?
so evidently patrick was the one who got covid during hella mega tour. and he hated it and he was miserable and that's when he called neal avron about the new record lmao
patrick says that joe was hesitant at first and he was the one who said that for this record he wanted to make something that they could all savor and spend time on and patrick was immediately on board with that
pete says patrick's job is to interpret him because pete calls his mentality a "little bit off" but patrick is capable of understanding him and translating it
patrick describes his and pete's creative relationship as "twin speak." it's not linear and it's like living in his brain a little bit. he calls it the "weirdest thing i've ever seen" when pete can just Tell that some words that patrick adjusted weren't ones he wrote despite not remembering writing them. patrick says he's gotten better at connective tissue and knowing how pete would say things
pete: back in the day patrick was like, "what's the difference between cry and weep i will KILL YOU. THEY'RE THE SAME THING. I'M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW."
zane says patrick's vocals are next level for this album. pete agrees that he kills it on this album and said he never would've expected that voice coming from him when they first met. zane says patrick could sing a recipe and it would be good. he then passes patrick a recipe and patrick. sings it???
patrick: i'm not gonna belt it. (starts belting) NINE INCH PIE PLATE ROLLING PIN
patrick says that pete doesn't mean to have rhythm to his words but there's a rhythm to them all the same and patrick can find this syncopation in his words and thinks it's amazing
more talking about patrick and pete's Magical Mystical Transcendent Soul Bond. patrick says "if we were one guy, we'd be an INCREDIBLE DUDE"
patrick and pete say that interviews with all four of them are hard because it's chaos and everyone's talking at once but it all makes perfect sense to them and no one else. zane says that sounds like fun flkjdfd [i agree please do this more it's a joy]
pete says joe really stepped up and wrote a lot for this record!
patrick: "joe is kind of a conundrum because he's this really talented...he's a brilliant writer, a brilliant player, but pete and i became the "team" and it wasn't really a plan, but that's just kind of how it happened. [brief tangent about the hiatus] we come back from the thing and joe is this fully-formed writer with a very distinct - he has one of the most distinctive writing voices. when i hear his parts, when i hear his ideas, i could pick them out of a crowd. like i know the way joe writes, and it's VERY joe." part of the process with post-hiatus was integrating him into the writing process more.
discussing the hiatus and fame and pete says his life kind of "blew up" and took it pretty hard. apparently during production for folie paparazzi actually broke down the gate to neal avron's house
patrick goes on a big tangent about how bad things got during the height of pete's fame. "part of my role is to tell his story. i'm a composer. that's what i like to do. i work on movies, i work on shows, and i work on pete. pete has a story that needs music, and if he's removed from himself, if he's not even able to access himself because he's behind all of this stuff, i don't have a story! so not only did i not have my buddy, which was heartbreaking in its own way, but then i also don't have a purpose as an artist."
patrick says that andy is always ready to play but when you get him happy to play, it's another level
"and trohman, there were these moments where he...he got so excited."
patrick describes writing what a time to be alive as wanting to write the saddest, most desperate song you could hear at a wedding. pete bursts into laughter and calls it "so twisted"
talking about other endeavors outside the band - patrick talks about composing and said joe's been super busy with his book and writing for tv and because there are so many deadlines for stuff like that, it's what hammered home to him that fall out boy needs to not be that. "there's something special about this that can't be...this has to be passionate and art."
discussing how scared patrick was of his own voice while the band took off. patrick was really scared of the song saturday at first because there are some really exposed vocal moments. he describes saturday as a song where everyone in the band lets each other go for it.
zane calls fall out boy the "emo blueprint" and says they were unapologetic in being emotional. patrick immediately says, "that was pete. i don't think we could've done that without him." he and joe were basically kids and patrick was too anxious to talk on stage.
zane says, "i remember interviewing you in the early days and i felt like every time i asked you a question i was bullying you." pete IMMEDIATELY loses his shit.
"in another life where i didn't have a pete...cause saturday, i did write most of that by myself...so there's a world where that song exists without the band. there's no world where i sing it in front of people without pete."
pete says every night before they put out a new song he calls patrick up and gets really scared and wants to back out and patrick talks him down every time
they talk about how scary it was when arm's race released and performing it at the amas. patrick starts laughing rly hard as they get into how there were giant crickets on stage and the crowd was just stone-faced and utterly nonresponsive and their stage manager was utterly panicked
towards the end patrick really loosens up and starts swearing more dlkfjdfd
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starlightkun · 8 months
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➠ word count: 22.0k ➠ warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking (there’s a frat party), everything i know about hockey is from internet research for this fic i’m sorry for any inaccuracies i tried ➠ genre: fluff, gets quite suggestive (a heavy makeout scene/near sex scene) but no actual smut, college au, hockey captain sungchan, chronically ill reader (chronic migraines), halloween-themed at the beginning, sungchan’s not a frat boy but he’s like... a frat boy by association ➠ extra info: the ages/relative ages of the members in here are whatever i want them to be, don’t read into it too much. this is a very usamerican take on a college au btw. also i call kunhang ‘hendery’ in here like it’s his government name for a one-line gag bc i think i’m hilarious the reader in this has chronic migraines, which i have. when the reader’s migraines and thoughts/experiences as a chronically ill person are described, that is me writing directly from my own life. i am not generalizing the lives of all people with chronic migraines and chronic illness, but i am sending all my love to any readers out there living with a chronic illness, and here’s a reminder to go take your meds ➠ author’s note: hi so this has been a wip for like a year lol. this one long predates sungchan’s deneofication (and subsequent re-debut in riize), hockey player sungchan just lives in my brain rent free ok. anyway, i hope you like ➠ series masterlist
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“You agreed to go to a frat party?” Chenle’s eyes were bugging out of his head as he sat across a high top in the dining hall from you. “Do you remember what happened last time, Y/N?”
“Hard to forget,” you snorted.
“And yet it seems you did, somehow, lost in dreamboat Jung Sungchan’s eyes.”
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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24
“Now shoo!” Dr. Son waved the small group of you out of his dimly lit office.
It was Phantasmagorical Phriday, a time-honored tradition going back to your freshman year of university. Dr. Son had been intrigued by the four freshmen who were somehow in his third-year class on Gothic Fiction and actually seemed to “get it.” His “Phantasma Phour” as you dubbed yourselves (a nickname that got quickly worn out, persisting only as the title of your groupchat):
Wong Hendery, who ended up in the class accidentally due to an error on his academic advisor’s part (she had gotten him mixed up with a Wong Henry, a junior Literature major who actually needed to take Dr. Son’s class) and he subsequently changed majors at least three times to your knowledge, so you were genuinely surprised he was graduating on time—he finally settled on Communications;
Jung Sungchan, at the time a promising young rookie hockey player who had now blossomed into your school’s reliable team captain—Biology major, being an athlete meant he could pre-register for classes and he picked Dr. Son’s at random to fulfill a gen ed Literature credit;
Zhong Chenle, an honorary member of both Nu Chi Tau, one of the biggest frats on campus, and the hockey team, as somehow 95% of his social circle were Nu Chi brothers and/or hockey players despite Chenle being neither himself, your best friend and also sometimes you swear a demon sent straight from hell to kill you—Literature major, who bullied you into taking the class; and
You, Chenle’s best friend who used to hate anything and everything Gothic fiction that got bullied into taking it anyway and now adored the genre more than any other—Literature major, who took the last spot in the class on registration day.
Dr. Son would invite you all to monthly extracurricular workshops in his office that built up to this: Phantasmagorical Phriday, a writing competition to see which of the four of you could write the best gothic short story. The stories were actually submitted the prior week, but it was the Friday before Halloween that was dubbed the Phriday in question. The four of you were invited to his office that night after classes (and Sungchan’s hockey practice) to review your pieces: how he thought everyone had improved from last year, discuss the writing process, and to finish off the night, Dr. Son would announce his top two stories. Those in the top two had the chance to send him a persuasive letter about why they should win. They had to be sent to him that night because the next morning, your professor would email the top two individually with the results.
Since this was your last Phantasmagorical Phriday, Dr. Son pretended not to see when Hendery brought out four celebratory White Claws for you all. You still had your warm, unopened, orange-flavored seltzer in your hand as the small group of you left the Literature, Writing, and Foreign Languages building together.
“I still can’t believe you couldn’t find anything classier for our last Phantasmagorical Phriday, Hendery.” You shook your head. “Ever heard of champagne? Literally any wine?”
“So you’re not gonna shotgun that, Y/N, is what I’m hearing?” Hendery teased as you all stopped under the light post right outside the building.
“Is that a challenge or what, Wong?” You scoffed, handing it back to him. “But no, I’m good.”
Sungchan thankfully cut in and changed the topic of conversation, “So are you going to start writing your letter of reconsideration, Y/N?”
This year’s top two were you and Sungchan, the member of the Phantasma Phour you spoke to the least. Outside of the monthly “workshops” (which at this point with your differing majors were just get-togethers of questionable academic value), you never saw him. You obviously saw Chenle all the time, and despite the fact that you considered him a bit obnoxious, you were sort of friends with Hendery, joining him for lunch if you happened to see him at the student union or at the coffee shop on campus. Sungchan was perfectly nice and all, you just found that you never really talked to him like the other two.
You looked down at your watch, taking a quick inhale when you saw the time. You’d stayed in Dr. Son’s office a lot later than you’d realized.
“Oh, no,” you casually waved off Sungchan’s question, readjusting your tote bag on your shoulder. “I’ve got something more pressing right now. Anyway, see you guys. It was a good four years, I’m glad we got to do this.”
Lifting your hand in a wave of finality to the three men, you departed.
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“She’s really not going to submit a letter?” Sungchan asked, still watching after you as your figure faded away in the distance.
“Nope,” Chenle shook his head, reaching for the spare White Claw in Hendery’s hand. “Y/N never does.”
“You didn’t know that?” Hendery questioned the hockey player, holding the drink away from Chenle.
“Why not?”
“She’s not in it to win really.” Chenle lunged for the can as Hendery jerked it away at the last second. “Just wants to make stuff.”
“So she was lying about doing something?”
Hendery and Chenle were now running circles around Sungchan in their game of keep-away with the seltzer.
“No.”
“What do you—” Sungchan sighed, yanking the drink from Hendery’s grasp and holding it high above his own head, well out of either of their reaches. “Hey!”
Now with their attention, the hockey captain kept his arm straight up as he returned to his question, “What are you talking about, Chenle?”
“Y/N does have something pressing right now. If I tell you where she’s probably going will you give me the White Claw?” Chenle bargained.
“You’d exchange your best friend’s location for an orange White Claw? Not even watermelon?” Hendery asked incredulously.
“It’s Sungchan, someone we’ve known for like four years, not some creep off the street who’s going to wear her skin.”
“No, Chenle, you don’t have to tell me that,” Sungchan shook his head, offering the can out for either one to take.
The Literature major was able to snatch it first, jumping up in celebration, “Suck an egg, Hendery!”
“I wouldn’t—” Sungchan’s words were too late though, as Chenle had already popped the tab, and the overly-shaken seltzer exploded all over all three of them.
“Zhong Chenle, I’m going to strangle you, you little weasel!”
“Ah! Sungchan, save me!”
“I would, except you got fucking orange White Claw in my eyes and I’m fucking blind now! Goddamn!”
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SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25
Rolling over in bed the next morning, you let out a big sigh and buried your face in your pillow, fully intent on going back to sleep. Saturday morning. No school, no work. Just you, your bed, and some much-needed sleep.
Then, the obnoxious blaring of your phone came from your nightstand. You groaned, reaching blindly for the object, and barely opening one eye just enough to snooze it. Damn, you really had slept in, to be woken up by your first medication alarm. Well, you weren’t going to die if you took your morning doses fifteen minutes later than normal. You were about to stuff your phone under your pillow when you briefly caught sight of your lockscreen after the alarm disappeared.
Text notification from Jung Sungchan?
Flopping onto your back and bringing your phone with you, you squinted against the harsh light of your screen to make sure you were reading that right. Yep, Sungchan had definitely texted you a few hours ago, separate from the Phantasma Phour chat. At almost 7:00 a.m., too. What the hell?
Curiosity won out over a need to sleep for fourteen more minutes, and you opened the notification.
[jung sungchan: Congrats, Y/N!]
You stared blankly at the text, your groggy mind desperately grasping around for any sort of context as to why Jung Sungchan would be texting you that at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday. Then it struck you like lightning, and you let out an audible “Oh, duh!” as you remembered where you both were last night. Phantasmagorical Phriday. The writing contest. You and Sungchan were the top two. Dr. Son must have sent the email out already, and apparently you had won.
Normally, you wouldn’t check your school email on the weekend until Sunday night, unless you were waiting to hear back from a specific professor—and the Sunday night check was just to see if any of your Monday classes were cancelled. Lord knows you definitely wouldn’t have checked it at seven in the morning on a Saturday. You let out a snort of disbelief as you reread the timestamp on the text. But still, it was nice of him. A good show of sportsmanship, as one would expect from the hockey captain.
You quickly checked your own student email, and did in fact see an email from Dr. Son at the very top with the subject ‘PHINAL PHANTASMAGORICAL PHRIDAY RESULTS.’
‘Y/N and Sungchan:
Thank you again for your submissions. I enjoyed working with everyone these four years.
The winner this year is Y/N. Good job.
Dr. Son.’
An amused smile crept across your face at your professor’s usual blunt email style. But this was also some of the nicest feedback he’d given your writing, even when you had won Phantasmagorical Phriday in the past, or in classes that you’d taken from him over the years. Something about it truly did feel... final.
And so with an odd bittersweetness, you drafted an equally short and blunt email back to your professor.
‘Dr. Son:
Thank you for taking us on these past four years. I will never forget the experience.
Y/L/N Y/N.’
Then finally, you went back to the original reason that you were even doing this.
[you: thanks, sungchan!]
Then, your alarm went off again, making you jump out of your skin. Well, time for your morning meds.
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MONDAY, OCTOBER 27
A tall figure was nearing the corner table you had claimed in one of the campus coffee shops the following Monday afternoon, and you looked up from your laptop screen, a little surprised at who it was. Jung Sungchan was standing at the end of your table, black flannel over a graphic t-shirt and dark wash jeans, one backpack strap slung over his shoulder. He had an iced coffee in one hand.
You paused the movie playing on your laptop, taking out both your headphones as you looked up at him inquisitively, “Uh hi, Sungchan.”
“Hi, Y/N.”
“Are you here to study or something?”
“Mm.” He couldn’t seem to meet your eyes. “Not really. Just grabbing a coffee and saw you. Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?”
“Oh, sure. I’m waiting out the storm to leave,” you gestured to the near-constant downpour that had started right after you’d arrived over two hours ago. Noticing that some of Sungchan’s hair and shoulders were damp, you added, “The storm you apparently got caught in without an umbrella.”
“Oh, yeah,” he ran a hand through his hair to push some of it away from where it had been falling into his eyes.
“I don’t mind having some company while I wait.”
To your surprise, instead of sitting across from you, Sungchan plopped himself onto the same bench that you were on, one leg slung over either side so he could face you directly.
You picked up the mug in front of you, your second cup of your drink of choice. You’d gotten a refill after it became clear that the rain wasn’t letting up any time soon. Sungchan was already a third of the way done with his iced coffee as you blew over your hot drink before taking a small sip. He glanced up at you, and you felt like you were going to choke on the uncomfortable silence. So you took a gamble. Turning in your seat to face him as well, you hiked a knee up onto the bench, bringing your mug with you.
“Do you want to ask me something, Sungchan?”
The hockey player startled, having to catch himself from nearly choking on his coffee. Seems like you were right. Sungchan finally stopped sucking down his drink, setting it down on the table and wiping his palms on the knees of his jeans. “I heard that you never sent in a letter to Dr. Son. Any year you were a top two.”
“Oh, yeah, nah.”
“Why not?”
“Didn’t seem worth it,” you shrugged.
“What?”
“Every year I participated I wanted my work to stand on its own two legs. After the death of the author, that’s all that’s left, right? The work. It has to speak for itself.”
“Oh,” Sungchan nodded, then squinted his eyes, confusion entirely overtaking his features. “Wait, what?”
“Sorry, I don’t know how much Lit Theory you’ve done. Probably not a lot as a Bio major, huh? Death of the author is both literal and metaphorical. Removing what the author meant to do or say with a text from how you actually interpret the text as the reader. It’s a lot easier when they’re actually dead, but the abstract concept is practiced when they’re alive too. It’s… seeing the text as separate from authorial intent. Mind you, it’s only one tool in a literary critic’s arsenal, but I liked it for our Gothic fiction class. All the authors we read in that class, they’d been gone for a while, we had no way to know what they really meant when they wrote all that stuff. And it didn’t really matter for our purposes. All we did have was what they wrote, and that was enough for me. So the same should be enough for whoever reads the stuff I write. Even if it’s just Dr. Son.”
“Huh.”
“Though I guess I just explained myself a little, oops,” you laughed at yourself, taking another sip from your steaming mug. “I’m getting less and less mysterious by the second, aren't I?”
“Chenle made it sound like you didn’t care about winning,” Sungchan asked, cheek in hand.
You arched an eyebrow at this. “You asked Chenle about me?”
“W-Well you left so fast after we saw Dr. Son, and you two are you know...”
“Oh he’s my best friend,” you clarified for perhaps the ten-thousandth time in your life. “And while others may use any litany of swears for him and Hendery calls him a little weasel, I prefer ‘actual demon sent from Hell to kill me.’”
“What?” Sungchan’s eyes widened.
“He pushes me out of my comfort zone. In a good way, most of the time.”
“Got it. Then what do you do for him? If he’s your yang…”
“I’m entertainment?” You snorted, taking another sip of your drink. After setting it back down, you answered more sincerely, “I’m kidding. Sometimes it feels like that but I did ask him one time a couple years ago, when he was tipsy enough that I believed the words coming out of his mouth but not so drunk that it was unintelligible. ‘A safe place.’ And since then… I can see it in us. That’s my yin to him.”
He smiled softly at you. “That’s... really nice.”
“Sorry, what were you asking me before that?”
“Oh, uh— Chenle said you really didn’t care about winning Dr. Son’s contest, you just wanted to make stuff? That’s why you didn’t submit a letter.”
“Generally, sure. Winning would’ve been great, but I didn’t write what I thought Dr. Son wanted. I took all of his feedback with a grain of salt. Took stuff that I liked from him, took stuff I liked from other profs I had. Mixed and matched to make something that was mine.” You pressed your lips together, then leaned forward like you were about to tell him a secret, “I didn’t live for Phantasmagorical Phriday, Sungchan. You do know that, right?”
“Wow,” he blinked, seeming a bit disoriented. “I’ve never really thought about… you like that.”
“Well to be fair to you, you only ever knew me there and in Dr. Son’s class. Makes it hard not to think of me only through that lens. All you know about me is that I presumably like Gothic fiction and I’m a Lit major, right?”
“Right.”
“So what do you think I was doing here before you showed up?”
“…Reading Edgar Allan Poe.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that, turning your laptop screen to show the paused movie to him, “I was watching Pacific Rim.”
His jaw literally dropped, and you felt the need to save him at least a little. Grabbing a book from your bag, you held it up, “I did come here initially to finish reading this new mystery novel I just got, but then the storm came and I had nothing else to do after I was done with the book.”
“But still… you’re so…”
“I have interests outside the one class we took together?”
“Smart,” he finished, an absolutely adorable expression of wonder across his face.
You weren’t expecting that, surprised giggles bubbling up out of you as you felt yourself growing warm under his awestruck gaze.
“Anyway, your turn,” you tapped his knee with your book before putting it back in your bag.
“For what?”
“To expand my horizons of you. All I know about you is that you’re the hockey captain, and a Bio major who took a gothic fiction class one time like three years ago. Show me you’re a multifaceted individual, too.”
“Uhm, that’s about it.”
“Oh come on, Sungchan.”
“No really, if I’m not on the ice, I’m in class; if I’m not in class, I’m with my team; and if I’m not with my team, I’m studying.”
“You’re here, right now,” you pointed out. “Last I checked I’m not on your hockey team, and we’re not studying. You have to do one thing that’s not for school or hockey. My thing was just watching Pacific Rim this one time, remember?”
“Alright…” he paused to think, fingers tapping along his thighs. “I used to play the piano.”
“Past tense, but I’ll accept it. When did you stop?”
“High school? Around when piano lessons and hockey practice started conflicting.”
“And you chose hockey?” You asked, hoping it didn’t sound judgmental. You really were just curious, trying to understand him.
“Actually, the choice was made for me.” He held his right hand out in front of you, and it was then that you saw his pinky finger was unnaturally crooked as he pointed to the digit. “I broke it in a game without even realizing it. Bruises and stiffness sometimes are normal so me and my parents didn’t know anything was up until weeks later when I was fucking up all the notes at my piano lessons because it still hurt. By the time I finally saw a doctor and got a splint on it, it set up wrong. All dexterity for piano out the window. Hockey on the other hand… guys have done a lot more with a lot less.”
You couldn’t help but curiously run a gentle fingertip over the crook in his pinky. “Does it hurt at all? Now?”
“Not really.” He went to bend and flex the fingers of his right hand, and you saw how the fifth finger didn’t curl up as much as the others. “It’s just a lot stiffer. Doesn’t bother me all that much.”
He brought his left hand up and wiggled the fingers on that hand. “Besides, I’m a lefty anyway.”
“So—apologies if this sounds like a stupid question to you, I don’t know anything about hockey—are there like, different hockey sticks for left-handed and right-handed players?”
Sungchan immediately broke into snickers, and you set down your mug to cross your arms over your chest indignantly.
“Hey, I didn’t laugh at you for not knowing what death of the author was—”
“I wasn’t making fun of you, I’m sorry,” he covered his mouth. “That was just… too cute. Uhm yes, there are lefty and righty sticks.”
You had to bite down your bottom lip to not smile at him calling you cute, and instead keep up your ruse of being offended. “I feel patronized.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” There was still a hint of a giggle in his tone, and you felt your self-righteous façade slip away as he continued, “You should come to a game, then, if you really want to broaden your horizons. The season just started. First home game is this Thursday, actually. 7:00 p.m. and students get free admission with your student ID.”
“Thursday?”
“Fridays are for basketball, Saturdays are for football.”
“Oh. Right.”
“You don’t go to those games either, do you?”
“Oh no, did I make it obvious?” You asked sarcastically.
“A bit,” Sungchan jested back.
Outside the window visible past Sungchan, the rain had let up a few minutes ago, and you briefly glanced over at your laptop for the time. Shit, your next alarm was going to be going off soon. If you left now, you should be home at roughly the right time for your next dose.
Clicking your tongue, you started packing up your things, “Well, looks like the rain’s finally let up enough to allow me safe passage. That’s my cue.”
“Oh.” The hockey player with you looked over his shoulder at the newly sunny day outside before turning back to watch you put your things away.
“Are you heading out too?” You nodded to his empty cup.
“I’ve uh, got some homework to do.”
“Guess this is where we part ways then.”
“Um, you didn’t say if you were going. To the game.”
You tucked your chin to your chest to hide your smitten smile as you put your laptop in your bag. Typically just asking for the details would’ve been taken for a yes, but Sungchan wanted extra confirmation. This boy wasn’t good for your heart, truly.
Turning back to him, you gave him a firm and nearly business-like nod. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
A bright grin lit up his features. “Okay! Great! Uhm, feel free to bring some friends, I know just sitting in the stands by yourself might be lonely.”
“I’ll see if I can drag somebody else out. It’ll be a tall order, though. Literature majors, you know, we prefer our Shakesperean poetry readings.”
“Oh, well—”
“I’m kidding,” you laughed and stood then, slinging your tote onto your shoulder. “Honestly, have you seen Chenle at a rager? Boy can drink twice his body weight I swear. He shouldn’t, but he can.”
Before you could reach for your cup and saucer to buss your place, the hockey captain spoke up, “I’ll take care of your mug, don’t worry.”
“Oh, thanks, Sungchan! I’ll see you Thursday then.”
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“Bye…” Sungchan trailed off, watching the door long after it had closed behind you.
He didn’t actually have any homework to do, and scrolled on his phone for a few minutes to make sure you were out of the area before leaving himself. He grabbed his long-empty plastic cup and your mug. His went in the trash, and as he went to put yours up with the other dishes and trays, his eyes were caught by the iridescent glitters left behind on the rim by your lip gloss.
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[you: hey what are you doing thursday at 7:00?]
[chenle: depends on what weird poetry reading you’re trying to drag me to]
[you: not this time. Sungchan’s hockey game?]
[chenle: you want to go to a sporting event?? why????]
[you: i told him i’d go please don’t make me go by myself]
[chenle: did you offer to go or did he ask you to come?]
[you: he asked me to? i guess?]
[chenle: haha yeah fuck no i’m not going with you]
[you: why not????????]
[chenle: a guy invited you to one of his games? yeah no way am i coming with you]
[you: what difference does that make? you’re seriously going to make me go to a hockey game by myself?]
[chenle: i don’t know how to tell you this gently so: he wants to fuck you]
[you: bro???]
[chenle: especially hockey? caveman brain is activated, he wants to show off how big and strong he is for you over the other males]
[you: damn can’t believe i just blinked and woke up in 200 BC]
[chenle: i’m warning you, only go if you’re ready for the consequences. i.e., that]
[you: so you’re not coming with me]
[chenle: no <3]
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THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30
Your chronically early self had gotten there as soon as the doors opened to spectators in order to scope out the perfect spot for yourself. Somewhere not too close to any speakers, where you could still see what was going on, hopefully somewhere Sungchan could maybe see you, but you could make a quick escape if need be. A lot of parameters, hence the need to be early. That meant that you got to watch the visiting team warm up first, and now your school’s team was warming up before the game. Finally the stands started filling up, and you had to do a double-take at the newest figure entering.
“Zhong Chenle, you lying little bitch!” You cursed out your best friend who was approaching you.
He immediately went to defend himself as he plopped down beside you, “Look, I told you I wasn’t going with you, not that I wasn’t going at all. Come on, Lit major.”
He finished off with a solid knock on your head, which didn’t hurt all that much through the beanie you were wearing, but you still slapped his arm away with a glare.
“Are you sure you want to live until graduation day? I can’t tell sometimes.”
“Half the team are Nu Chi guys,” Chenle explained his being there, then waved at one of the players skating by, 23, who gave a salute back. “Jeno.”
“Oh.” You belatedly waved too, but your friend had already turned back to warming up.
Chenle then gave you the run-down on all your friends and acquaintances’ numbers as he spotted them.
“Goalie. Sicheng, 7.” He just blocked a shot from a familiar number, 23. “Already told you, 23 is Jeno. Right wing.”
“Does he always suck?”
“Here’s Ten, number 10. Right defense. He’s never told me which came first, his nickname or his jersey number.”
Sicheng blocked Ten’s shot.
“2 is Mark, center.” His went in.
“66, Donghyuck, center alternate.” His also went in.
“24, that’s Yangyang, left wing—and a miss!”
“This doesn’t bode well that so many of our players apparently kind of suck.” You muttered to yourself, well aware that Chenle was no longer listening to you.
Finally, the tallest of the team was skating up to take a shot. “And there’s your guy, Y/N. Number 27, Jung Sungchan, left defense, captain, your dreamboat—”
“If you don’t shut up—”
“Oh! All net!”
“Isn’t that a basketball—”
“Hey, you got your earplugs, right?”
“Yep, same ones for concerts,” you confirmed, reaching into your purse for them. You hadn’t been able to take your full tote bag into the school sporting event, so you had to condense the essentials into your smaller purse.
“Good, because uh, it’ll get loud.”
“I figured.”
“Yeah, remember how half the team are Nu Chi guys?”
Your eyes widened in realization, “Oh god.”
“Here they come!”
Whipping around to face the same direction he was looking, you saw a horde of about ten to fifteen guys storming the rink, practically shaking the audience section. They were all donned in blue and orange, your university’s colors, various hockey or Nu Chi merch and paraphernalia, and you would’ve absolutely bet money that at least three of them had Nu, Chi, and Tau symbols painted across each of their chests under their shirts. Chenle leapt up to greet them all, the volume of the area immediately rising tenfold at least.
You recognized most of the Nu Chi frat brothers, they were mutual friends or acquaintances of yours through Chenle over the years, and there were even some familiar graduated faces. Lee Taeyong was the first to pick up on your presence, squeezing past Jisung—a new pledge that had glommed onto Chenle in particular—to plop down behind your seat.
“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Taeyong asked you with a tilted head. “Not exactly a good place for you, is it?”
Taeyong was frat president for your first two years of college and his last two. You had an absolute disaster at a Nu Chi party in your freshman year that he was witness to. Ever since then, when you would see him in passing at other lowkey (or as lowkey as frat functions could get) Nu Chi events that Chenle took you to during those two years, you always got the distinct impression that he was keeping an eye on you during them.
“Could be asking you the same thing, Taeyong,” you countered, fully turning around in your seat to chat with the man. “Didn’t you graduate two years ago? You don’t have anything better to do on a Thursday night? Like your taxes or something?”
“Us old-timers who peaked in college like to come back and re-live our glory days vicariously for the first home game,” he entertained your jibe, making you giggle. “And somebody’s got to be these kids’ DD. They always go at it too hard after the first game. Win or lose.”
Johnny, another graduated Nu Chi brother, spoke up then, eyes laser-focused on you, “So Chenle’s finally dragged you out to a game, Y/N?”
You immediately looked at your friend with wide eyes, knowing what the answer was, and exactly what reaction said answer would garner. Chenle, on the other hand, seemed all too thrilled to join in, turning to face you with his hands on his hips and a knowing smirk on his face.
“Oh no, I didn’t bring Y/N. She actually didn’t know I was coming at all. I found her here all on her own,” he announced to all the guys, who were hanging on to every word he said. If literally anything else were happening, you might’ve laughed at how they were all wrapped around his finger.
“No offense, but you don’t really seem like you’re interested in hockey,” Jungwoo, a junior who you’d shared a couple literature classes with, said curiously.
You sighed, giving Chenle a frank look before admitting, “Jung Sungchan invited me.”
They exploded with various hoots, hollers, whoops, and whistles.
With a shake of your head, you turned back around to look back at the players on the ice, knowing full well that there was nothing you could do alleviate—or even really participate in—the absolute chaos that was happening behind you.
Eventually, the game started. Taeyong, who had moved to sit on your other side from Chenle, quietly explained the basics of what was going on to you: positions, plays, scoring, why the referee made certain calls. Chenle was caught between cheering along with the other Nu Chi guys and rattling off hyper-specific stats on individual players to you, so you were truly grateful to have Taeyong giving you your “hockey for dummies” tips and tidbits throughout.
You kept your eyes on number 27, as Chenle had pointed him out to you earlier. The gear made it somewhat difficult for you to really recognize any distinguishing features about Sungchan himself except maybe his height, made even greater by the skates he was wearing. But as much as the intellectual side of you might’ve hated to admit it, there was definitely some part of you that very much enjoyed watching him play; that got some kind of thrill every time somebody tried to check him and he didn’t budge—or when he checked somebody and they most definitely did budge.
Before you knew it, all three periods were over, and you were jumping to your feet along with the others, cheering wildly. Your school won by a landslide.
“Oh, they’re going to get plastered,” Taeyong murmured from beside you fondly.
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All of you had been in the cheering section milled around in the ice rink lobby waiting for the team to get out of the locker room.
“That was fun,” you declared to Chenle as the two of you stood off to the side from the larger group of loud Nu Chi brothers.
“Yeah, you didn’t seem like you were listening to a word I said.”
“Because you were telling me sports stats, Chenle, I’m surprised my brain didn’t start bleeding out of my ears.”
“Well I’m surprised your nose wasn’t bleeding watching your dreamboat Jung Sungchan beat up all those other guys,” Chenle teased. “200 BC called, they want their cavewoman back—”
You lunged at him, managing to get an arm around his throat in the beginnings of a questionably friendly chokehold, “I’m going to kill you, you little—”
“No murder in the rink!” Came the chastising voice of Johnny Suh from afar, and you reluctantly let him go.
The players started streaming out of the locker room soon after, and you nervously scanned the crowd for Sungchan. Chenle was easily dragged into the chaos of everyone celebrating, leaving you standing off to the side waiting.
Finally, you spotted him. Sungchan was wearing a simple pair of black sweatpants and black hoodie with your school’s name embroidered across the front, his hair a bit mussed up. He was deep in conversation with Sicheng, brow furrowed. The goalie’s features were similarly serious as they gestured to each other. You stayed put, not wanting to interrupt. Taeyong had mentioned that Sicheng was sort of like a co-captain, you guessed they might be doing something important.
Then you’d suddenly made eye contact with Sicheng, who was facing you. He gave you a casual head nod, and said something to Sungchan you couldn’t quite make out. The captain whipped around, a bright smile coming to his face as soon as his eyes landed on you. You lifted your hand to give him a small wave and smile back.
Sungchan quickly ended his conversation with Sicheng, making his way over to where you were standing by a wall.
“Hey, Y/N,” he was still smiling down at you, his eyes practically glittering even in the harsh fluorescents of the lobby. “So you really made it out.”
“I said I would.” You fidgeted with the straps of your bag.
“And…?”
You tilted your head, “And?”
“What did you think? You know, are your horizons super broad now or something?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. His phrasing was funny, but also remembering how he played and was now giving you his undivided attention admittedly made your chest flutter.
“It was good, yeah. I had fun,” you confirmed. “You uhm, you played really good. I think.”
“Thanks,” Sungchan scratched at the back of his neck, and you swore the tips of his ears were pink, but that could’ve just been the cold. “Did you drive yourself?”
“Walked, my apartment is close.”
“Uh, so, we all go out to a bar after games usually. It’s kind of a sleazy dive bar, and I know it’s a Thursday, but I’d really like for you to come. I’ll buy you a dr—”
“I’m really sorry, Sungchan, but I can’t. I’d love to, but…” You trailed off, wracking your brain for some concise way to explain why he couldn’t buy you a drink.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay,” Sungchan assured you, and you winced at the way the hopeful smile fell from his face.
An awkward silence descended over the two of you. You were chewing on your bottom lip, desperately trying to think of something to say to gloss over your rejecting his offer. You didn’t want to end the conversation on such a sour note, nor did you want to leave him just yet either. Stealing a glance at the clock above you on the wall, however, you knew that you’d need to be going soon anyway.
The hockey player was the one who ended up breaking the silence, “Can I walk you home? It’s late for you to be out by yourself.”
A relieved smile overtook your features, and you hoped he could see the sincerity in it, “Sure, thank you. Let me let Chenle know he’s relieved of his man-shaped friend duties for the night, and we can go.”
You got on your tiptoes to look around for your friend, finally spotting him in a headlock by Jeno, with Yangyang giving him a noogie. They all seemed to be laughing, so it didn’t look too much like bullying that you felt the need to intervene.
“You know, I’ll just text him, actually,” you chuckled, bringing out your phone to do just that.
“Man-shaped friend duties?” Sungchan questioned as the automatic doors parted for the two of you.
“His words, not mine,” you snorted. “But you know, making sure a woman doesn’t walk places by herself at night, that kind of stuff. Having a man just with her makes her safer, as fucked up as that is. Chenle corrected it to be man-shaped since he’s not the manly protective type.”
“I see.”
“But it looks like you’re on man-shaped friend duties for tonight, Sungchan.”
As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you wanted to stuff them back in. Friend. God, that was absolutely not what was happening here and you knew it. Chenle’s previous texts flashed across your mind. You obviously knew why Sungchan would’ve wanted to invite you to his game, and you said yes purposefully. Friend. Foot, meet mouth.
Sungchan blinked down at you, but seemed to take it in stride, “Of course, Y/N. Anytime you need a man-shaped person at your side, just call me up. I’ll bring my hockey stick.”
He patted his gear bag that was slung over his shoulder, making you giggle.
“I’ll keep you on speed dial, then.”
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It was a short walk to your apartment, and you and Sungchan mostly talked about the game. You asked him a couple questions that Taeyong hadn’t covered during it— which Chenle might’ve, except you had tuned him out. And as you came to a stop at your front door, you didn’t yet fish your keys from your bag.
“How often do you have away games?” You asked.
“They’re usually about half,” Sungchan shrugged. “It’s a bit annoying missing classes, and the bus is kind of rank on the trip back.”
“Ew…” You wrinkled your nose.
“But they’re always a lot of fun.”
“So, uhm, when’s your next home game?”
His face brightened as he seemed to realize what exactly you were asking, “Next week. Same time.”
“Okay, cool.” You bit your lip.
“Cool,” he echoed.
You looked up at Sungchan, catching his eyes for a heart stopping moment. Both of you were standing on your welcome mat, he was close enough that you could catch a faint whiff of the detergent from his clothes—a college athlete with freshly washed clothes? You might already be in love—and watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. You had the urge to grab him by the front of his hoodie and yank him—
A garish, blaring ringing going off interrupted your split-second pros and cons weighing that had been going on. Sungchan startled at the noise, reminding you very much of a baby moose in the moment. You groaned as you reached into your bag for your phone.
“Oh my god, stop it,” you hissed under your breath as you snoozed the alarm that was going off on there. Once it was quiet, you looked back up at the man with you sheepishly, “Sorry about that.”
He joked, “Curfew?”
You laughed lightly, “No, just a reminder for something I have to do after I get home. It’s fine.”
“Well, before you go do that, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Nu Chi and the team are hosting a joint Halloween party this year, and I’d really like it if I could see you there.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow, people will probably start showing up after like ten, eleven. It’s at the Nu Chi house, theirs is bigger than ours.”
“Fascinating phrasing,” you snickered.
“I know this is last minute, so I get if you have other plans or something.”
“I… can probably swing by for a bit, yeah,” you nodded.
“Great!” Sungchan beamed. “Oh, it is a costume party, by the way.”
“Costume?” You arched a brow. “What’ll you being going as? And please don’t say hockey player.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, “Definitely not… that would be lame…”
“You were planning on going as a hockey player, weren’t you?”
“Me and Mark have been putting all our spare time into planning this thing, I haven’t had any time to think about a costume.”
“Well you’ve given me 24-hour notice for a costume, so this is your 24-hour notice for one too. When I find you at the Nu Chi house tomorrow, I do not want to see a hockey jersey, Jung Sungchan. Any sports player is off-limits, understand?” You poked his chest with finality.
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded in assent.
Just then, your alarm went off again, and this time you jumped out of your skin. Apparently, another 5 minutes had elapsed. With a sigh, you reached into your bag for your keys.
“I should let you go do that thing,” Sungchan chuckled. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Sungchan,” you unlocked your front door. “See you tomorrow.”
Sitting at your kitchen table a couple minutes later, you were looking down at the vitals displayed on the screen of your blood pressure cuff.
“Jung Sungchan…” you muttered to yourself as you added the reading to your digital record, noting how the line graph jumped up with the new data.
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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31
“You agreed to go to a frat party?” Chenle’s eyes were bugging out of his head as he sat across a high top in the dining hall from you. You two were grabbing a quick lunch between classes, and doing an obligatory catch-up on how your short but sweet walk with Sungchan went last night. “Do you remember what happened last time, Y/N?”
“Hard to forget,” you snorted.
“And yet it seems you did, somehow, lost in dreamboat Jung Sungchan’s eyes.”
You threw a fry from his plate at him, “It wasn’t like that!”
He ducked, letting it sail by his head and hit the wall behind him.
“Then what was it like?”
“It was more like a big puppy that I couldn’t say no to and—”
You were cut off by loud gagging noises from your friend, and went to kick him under the table, but missed and hit his chair leg instead. He still got the message, quieting down to let you continue.
“I told him I’d be able to just pop in for a bit. I’ll be in and out before it’ll get too bad.”
“Famous last words...”
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“Hold on, LeLe,” you grabbed your friend’s arm to stop him on the sidewalk in front of the Nu Chi Tau frat house.
Taking another look into your tote bag, you made sure once again that you had everything you could possibly need tonight. Medications, snacks, water bottle, ear plugs, the usual. After closing the snaps on the bag, you nervously fidgeted with the hem of your costume. Generic witch, it was the last thing the costume store had in your size that wasn’t garishly scary. You understood well and good how college Halloween parties worked: you had to look hot, not terrifying. Not to mention that those horror show costumes were also much pricier than your “Sexy Witch” one.
“You look cute, Y/N,” Chenle reassured you, readjusting your witch hat for you. “Jung Sungchan won’t know what hit him.”
Chenle, on the other hand, was an almost scarily realistic zombie. If you hadn’t spent an ungodly amount of time hanging out on his bathroom counter this afternoon watching him apply the SFX makeup himself, you would’ve thought he had hired a professional makeup artist to do it. He’d always gone ham on Halloween since you two were kids, ever since he figured out how to make a Transformers costume out of cardboard boxes in primary school. You usually participated in partner costumes with him, but you really didn’t want him to make you a gross-looking zombie tonight.
“Thanks.” You gave him as confident a smile as you could muster.
Resecuring your grip on your go bag, you started up the walkway to the house with your friend.
You had been able to faintly hear the thumping bass of the music from outside, but once inside, you were almost immediately hit by a wall of music. Just inside the front door you were faced with a mass of people in bright costumes, flashing lights, corny Halloween decorations of cobwebs, spiders, ghosts, and pumpkins all over the walls.
Chenle looked over at you expectantly, “Y/N?”
“I couldn’t find my concert earplugs, only my noise canceling. I won’t be able to hear anybody unless they’re shouting at me if I put those in,” you replied, having to raise your voice to make sure he heard you. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay…” He sighed and grabbed your elbow. “Come on, let’s find a quieter spot in the house then.”
You gave him a thumbs up and bright grin, already feeling your ears acclimate to the loudness. You could totally do this. It was one night, and you were just going to see Sungchan for a bit then go. Pop in then back out, just like you said.
You didn’t have to wait long to spot Sungchan. Chenle had barely tugged you into the next room over from the small foyer when a familiar head was visible over the crowd, his bright smile focused on you.
“Hey, Y/N!” Sungchan grinned down at you. He was dressed in a suit and tie, what you were guessing was probably his only set, and his hair was parted to one side, styled off of his face. The tie had already been loosened, and the tuck of his dress shirt wasn’t so crisp.
“Hi, Sungchan,” you smiled up at him, amazed that you could hear anything over both the music and now your heart beating so loudly in your ears.
“So you did find a costume.”
“Oh, yeah,” you messed with the hem of your skirt. “Last one at the shop.”
“You look great.” He was still beaming down at you, and you could feel your skin growing warmer. “I’m really glad you could make it.”
“Thanks. Uhm, so what are you? Funeral director?”
“What? No, I’m—” His sentence stopped in its tracks as he looked down at the front of his suit jacket. He started patting his empty breast pocket, then other jacket pockets, then pants pockets, then looked around on the floor. “Fuck.”
“What?” You looked around under your feet, but weren’t able to see anything other than the usual party debris. “Did you lose something?”
Sungchan looked back up at you, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I was about to say that I’m Mulder from the X-Files. But I’ve apparently lost my fake FBI badge. So it looks like I’m a funeral director now.”
You giggled. “Maybe you can be Mulder when he retires and buys a funeral home.”
“Yeah, the perfect costume. Won’t take too long to explain to anybody, they’ll get it immediately,” he laughed.
“Hey, I’m just glad you didn’t wear a jersey.”
“I’m nothing if not a man of my word.”
“Oh, have you seen Chenle’s makeup by the—” But when you turned around to gesture to your friend, you found that he had disappeared, leaving you and the hockey captain all alone.
“Chenle?” Sungchan asked with a tilted head. “I didn’t even realize he was here yet.”
You shook your head fondly at your friend’s antics. Well, you’d have to thank him later.
“He must have gone to get a drink or something. Either way, it seems I’ve been abandoned.”
“Well, you can come hang out with me and some of the guys, if you want?” He offered.
“Yeah, I’d really like that,” you nodded, readjusting your bag to make sure it was pulled in tight to your body.
Sungchan led you through the frat house with a hand on the small of your back, and you snuck a glance up at him when he went to greet someone who had called his name as you passed by. He kept you tucked into his side as he slowed to give the guy a friendly slap on the shoulder. As soon as Sungchan had stopped to say hello, two more people appeared seemingly from nowhere, eagerly greeting him as well. You faintly recognized one, Jisung, a new Nu Chi pledge. He’d been at the hockey game you went to, and always found Chenle at Nu Chi events that you tagged along to. You looked up at Sungchan’s animated, handsome face again as he continued talking.
“This is Y/N.” Sungchan’s voice suddenly pulled you into the conversation. You snapped your focus down from his face to the other three that were in front of you, and realized that they all definitely knew that you’d been staring.
“Oh, hi.” You gave the three boys a nervous smile.
“Y/N, this is Jisung, Shotaro, and Renjun. Jisung and Shotaro are Nu Chi pledges, Renjun’s a sophomore brother, and he’s—you’re a Literature major, right, Renjun?”
“Yes.” One of them nodded.
“Renjun’s a Literature major too, Y/N,” Sungchan finished the introduction.
“Cool, cool,” you nodded. It had been Shotaro that called Sungchan over in the first place, you were pretty sure.
“Anyway, thanks for the offer, guys, but I already promised Hyuck I would, so we’ve got to go.”
Sungchan ushered you away to the tune of a chorus of disappointed groans from the three boys, and you wracked your brain to see if you could recall hearing any sort of proposition from them. But nope, between the loud music and your prior lack of attention to the conversation, you had nothing.
“What did they want?” You gave up and finally asked Sungchan.
“Beer pong. Hope you don’t mind that I declined. I’ve already had a couple and am not looking to get wasted quite yet.”
“Oh, no, not at all,” you shook your head. Thank god you didn’t have to deal with that yet. “Not really my thing anyway. Terrible hand-eye coordination.”
Sungchan seemed about to say something when someone walked by you with an exceptionally pungent cologne. The whiff shot directly to your head like a bullet, the sharp pain making you wince and hiss. It took everything in you not to cover your nose like Edward Cullen and instead shift to breathing through your mouth for a few moments.
“Y/N? You okay?” Sungchan’s voice was clearly concerned.
The sharp pain was gone just a couple moments after it had registered, and you opened your eyes up again, giving him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, don’t know what that was.”
“Okay, good.” He squeezed your shoulder before dropping his hand back down to your back and continuing your trek through the Nu Chi house.
You and Sungchan finally made it to a room adjacent to the main living room, where there were a couple of beat-up old couches and lots of Nu Chi Tau paraphernalia. The bass of the music playing in the next room over would occasionally make the picture frames and plaques on the walls rattle, and you could hear every word of the songs crystal clear, even though the room that you were in was packed to the brim with partygoers as well. Sungchan stopped you at a group of people gathered around one of the couches, tapping the shoulders of two of them who had their backs to you. Donghyuck and Hendery turned around, immediately parting to make room for the both of you in the group upon seeing you.
Almost everyone in the group was familiar to you either as friends or acquaintances. Your social circle was big thanks to Chenle, who was friends with practically the entire hockey team and Nu Chi house, despite being a member of neither. But now you didn’t have your best friend at your side, just Sungchan and your tote bag, both of which you were keeping close to you.
“Oh shit, Y/N!” Hendery grinned, pulling you into a one-armed hug of greeting. “Damn, it really is you!”
“Yeah, I’m a witch, not a ghost, Hendery,” you retorted jokingly. He was dressed as Prince Eric, if you weren’t mistaken.
“Well, when Sungchan said you were coming, some of us were a bit... skeptical.”
Someone dressed as Venom cut in from Hendery’s other side sharply, “No, I believe you said ‘never in a million fucking years, loverboy.’”
The rest of the group erupted in tipsy snickers and ‘ooh’s, and you felt Sungchan jostle a little as someone had presumably given him a teasing shove.
“Alright, guys. You can cut it out now,” Sungchan spoke over them authoritatively. He then looked down to you, features softening. “Sorry. Anyway, this is Donghyuck, he’s on the team and in Nu Chi—”
He pointed to the boy right next to him, wearing a very classic vampire costume splattered with a little bit of fake blood or fruit punch (you couldn’t tell in the poor lighting), and you wondered if he had also gone to a Halloween store last-minute like you. You knew him both from the game, and from a couple times you’d seen him with Chenle outside of frat or hockey events.
“Mark, frat president and he’s on the hockey team—” He was next to Donghyuck, dressed as Spiderman. You were already familiar with Mark, both from the game, and a group project in a class last year. You wondered if Mark remembered that.
“Ten, hockey and Nu Chi—” Ten was reclined on the couch, a top hat that had presumably been on his head earlier now resting on his propped up knee. Between that and his eyepatch, he clearly was dressed as some character that you couldn’t identify in the moment. You knew Ten outside of hockey, the frat, or even Chenle. He was a Lit major, so you had shared classes and study groups over the years. He raised a friendly hand in greeting.
“Sicheng, my co-captain and he’s in Nu Chi, too—” He was on the couch with Ten, sequestered to one corner as his teammate was taking up most of the space with his legs. Sicheng was dressed up as an angel, fake wings, little halo, and all. And you knew Sicheng through Ten, they’d been roommates since freshman year and could often be found together around campus. He gave you a nod of familiarity.
“Dejun, Nu Chi—” Sungchan had finally reached the man who was dressed as Venom.
“And you of course, unfortunately, know Hendery, Nu Chi.”
“Oh, boo, Sungchan,” Hendery stuck his tongue out at the captain.
You smiled and nodded a little bit at everyone else, but you were finding it hard to concentrate with the music in the background. Did it really need to be that loud?
“Y/N?” The sound of your name snapped your focus up, and you looked around for the source.
A few of the guys had gone back to their own conversations. Sungchan was looking down at you, head tilted inquisitively. Presumably he had been to the one to say your name.
“Oh, sorry,” you tried to give a nonchalant chuckle, but it was getting harder and harder to even articulate yourself with all the stimulation. “The music...”
“Oh!” Sungchan perked up at this. “Do you want to go dance?”
He was offering a hand out to you, and you stared down at it, mouth opening and closing as your brain felt like it was moving through sludge. You quite literally could not process what that string of words actually meant for a good second, and then it took even longer for you to even tie together the right way for you to respond. Cognitive fatigue. Oh this was not good. You squeezed your eyes shut, then open.
You again gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m kind of light-headed right now. Could you get me something to drink?”
His features immediately turned concerned. “Of course. Do you need to sit down or a ride h—”
“Can you just get me a drink?” Your brain was stuck in a perpetual loop now that it had locked onto one task. It took all of your energy just to regulate your tone enough to keep your voice (hopefully) as sweet as possible, despite the fact that you had cut him off.
“Of course. I’ll be right back.” He squeezed your upper arm reassuringly before taking off.
Your eyes were fixated on the spot where he had just been, your vision seeming to continuously zoom in and past your head. Squeezing your eyes shut once more, you took a deep breath through your mouth to try to recenter yourself. But it didn’t help any. Your head felt like a balloon that someone was overinflating, and you knew exactly what was coming next. You swallowed thickly, taking a second to look through the crowd. Nope, you couldn’t wait for Sungchan. Not like you could even verbalize much of anything right now. You had to go take your medication.
So you hurried into the crowd, clutching your tote bag to your chest like your life depended on it—which it really did. Mumbling ‘excuse me’s to everyone you shouldered, bumped into, or stepped on the toes of, you finally made it to a door that you were pretty sure was a bathroom. You tried the handle first, and when it gave in, you still knocked as you opened it, just in case. It was miraculously empty. Maybe there really was a God. Then, the balloon started to deflate, the pressure in your head inverted, becoming a harsh, squeezing pain instead. Nope, nope, definitely not a God. Or at least not a benevolent one.
You locked the door behind you with clumsy fingers and shuffled over to the sink. The countertop was in good enough condition for you to toss your bag up there and start rooting around through it. Bottle after bottle after bottle, then you finally secured the right two. You shook out a pill from one, then a pill from the other. The lights above the mirror were becoming more insufferable by the second. You cracked open the fresh bottle of water you had stored in your bag too, and knocked both pills back in one big gulp.
Tossing the water back into your bag, you could fucking finally flip the switch and turn the lights in the bathroom off. After feeling your way along the wall, you eventually found the bathtub, and sat yourself down. The music was somewhat muffled in here, and you figured this was going to be the darkest room in the whole Nu Chi house. Right now, your plan was to wait in here for your medication to kick in and hopefully stop this migraine before it really got going. Then you could make your great escape, and send Sungchan some bullshit apology text later. After tossing your witch hat to the ground vaguely beside your bag, you gently rested your head against the cool tile of the shower with a sigh. Chenle was right, you shouldn’t have come. Cynically, you thought that you should have timed it. See how long you lasted before you got a migraine. You’d be surprised if that was even 15 minutes.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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Sungchan returned to the group with your requested drink in hand and another for himself, frowning when he immediately noticed your absence. “Hey, where’d Y/N go?”
“Oh, shit, uh…” Mark looked around with a baffled look on his face. “No clue dude, she was just here a second ago.”
“I’m going to go find her. Here.” He shoved both drinks into Hendery’s hands.
“Sungchan, come on, take a hint, man,” Donghyuck sighed, patting the taller boy’s shoulder sympathetically.
“What?”
“She asked you to get her something to drink and then slipped away when nobody was looking.”
“Y/N’s not like that.”
“And denial’s a river in Egypt.”
“No, she hasn’t been feeling well all night. I think. I’m going to go look for her.”
“So you’re admitting that you make her physically ill.”
“Dude, you’re just asking to get your shit rocked, you know that, right?” Ten warned him.
“Hey, I’m standing up for women—”
Mark cut him off, “Hyuck, you’re on your own if Sungchan decides to fuck your shit up. I don’t care if you’re my little, I’m not—”
“Oh, wahhh, my big strong big won’t protect me.”
“Christ, I swear he’s only had like four shots and a couple…”
His friends’ voices quickly faded into the din of the party as Sungchan pushed through the crowd. He couldn’t spot you, but found maybe the next best thing.
“Hey, Chenle.” He grabbed him by the elbow, turning him away from the arm wrestling competition between Jeno and Yangyang that he was spectating. Or, he at least hoped this was Chenle, it was a bit hard to tell with the zombie makeup.
“Hey, Romeo!” Chenle greeted him jovially, punching him in the shoulder over-zealously. Okay, definitely him.
“Have you seen Y/N? In the past like, five minutes or so?”
“You lost her?” The zombie asked angrily, cheerful mood immediately soured.
“Uh, yes? Sorry?”
“No, I’m not pissed at you,” he shook his head at Sungchan’s apology. “You go check the bathrooms, I’ll look outside. Don’t bother calling her, she’s not going to pick up.”
“What’s—”
But Chenle was already gone.
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You weren’t sure how long you had been sitting in there for, but you could feel some of the overstimulation from the party beginning to slide off of you. Which could be either a good or bad thing. Cognitive fatigue was usually a prodrome and postdrome for you. Regaining some clarity could either mean that your medication was working and the migraine was going away, or you were about to enter the proper migraine phase. The fact that the pain hadn’t gone away was worrying. But at least it was dark, and relatively quiet. Oh, quiet... you could put in your earplugs now too.
Just as you had gone to grab for your bag, there was a knock at the bathroom door. You froze. Shit.
“Occupied!” You yelled out hesitantly to them, wincing at the loudness of your own voice. Okay, ow.
The person knocked again, harder.
“Seriously! Busy in here! Puking my brains out!” You yelled even louder, hoping they got the fucking idea this time. There was no way you wanted to have to actually get up and deal with a drunk partygoer that needed to piss and/or puke.
“Y/N? That you?” A familiar voice came through the door. “It’s Sungchan, can I come in?”
“Oh, sure, hold on.” You clambered out of the tub as carefully as you could in the dim lighting coming from under the door.
Against your better judgment, you turned one set of lights on in the bathroom, then cracked the bathroom door open. Sungchan was in fact on the other side, and you stepped back to let him in. He looked around the bathroom, worry on his face.
You shut the door behind him, saying sheepishly, “So, I was lying about the puking my brains out.”
“But you don’t look okay.” He peered down at your face as you were still wincing against the bright lights. “You didn’t drink anything tonight, what’s wrong?”
You went to sit on the side of the tub, feeling a pain in your eyes now. You gestured to the light switch. “Can you turn that light off?”
“Uh, okay…” He obliged, and the room was dim once again.
Your eyes adjusted quickly, and you could still see the general outline of everything in the room. Sitting back in the tub, you pulled your knees to your chest. Well, no chance for your great escape now. Sungchan climbed into the dry tub with you, facing you. He didn’t fit great in the small space, all gangly limbs, and your knees bumped into each other. But he sat there with you quietly.
“I’ve got a migraine coming on, I had to get somewhere quiet and dark and take my meds.” You told him bluntly, opting to just take the plunge. Not like you could even attempt flowery language at the moment anyway. Sure, some of your speech capabilities were coming back now that there was less sensory input, but you weren’t going to be doing any soliloquies tonight.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sungchan said quietly. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, no. I actually- I actually don’t want to be alone right now, if that’s okay?” You surprised yourself with your answer.
“Yeah, of course.” He said reassuringly. “Do you want me to take you home?”
“I might not have drank but you did. I’ll be okay here, for the most part. I’m the one who came knowing that I get sound-induced migraines.”
“Wait, really?”
“Mm, yeah,” you pinched the bridge of your nose to alleviate some of the tension there for a moment. “Remember when I said Chenle pushes me out of my comfort zone in a good way most of the time?”
“Right.”
“One of the times it wasn’t... good was when he got an invite to Nu Chi’s Halloween party our freshman year, dragged me with him. And he always means the best when he does stuff like that. I hadn’t made any new friends at college, meanwhile he had a bunch, including some of the pledges at Nu Chi.”
“How he got the invite.”
“Exactly.” You needed to take a pause, resting your head against the cool tile again. After a few deep breaths, you pushed on in the story. “Anyway, we’d been there for a couple hours when the loudness and the music and everything finally got to me and I got a migraine. I had my go bag on me, and went to what I thought was an empty corner of the house to take my meds. But a couple other people saw me knocking back pills and wanted some. My head was hurting like a bitch, and they were trying to grab them from me and anyway, I spilled a bunch of them all over the floor, drenched myself with my water and their beer, and elbowed a dude and gave him a bloody nose.”
“Holy shit,” Sungchan breathed out.
You opened and closed your jaw a couple times to try to relax the muscles and joints there. “I couldn’t even open my eyes because my head hurt so bad. Chenle told me later I was screaming and Taeyong wanted to call an ambulance until Chenle ran up and explained what was happening. They put me, Chenle, and Jeno—turns out that’s whose nose I broke—in Taeyong’s room in the house for the rest of the night. Neither Chenle nor I were in any shape to drive ourselves home.”
“Wait is that how you met Jeno?”
“Yeah, and it turns out he wasn’t one of the ones trying to take my pills, he was trying to break up me and the people who were. Collateral damage.” You recounted it regrettably.
“When Jeno found out I’d invited you, he told me he’d keep his room clear in case we needed it. I thought he was just being a dick.” Sungchan sounded like he was having an epiphany. “Y/N, do you think you’ll be okay to move up a floor?”
The bass was thudding through the door, and you knew that if you stayed here when you transitioned into the throes of however bad this migraine fully got, you’d regret it. Grabbing your earplugs from your bag and putting them in, you gave him a thumbs-up and attempted a smile, but you knew it came out like more of a wince.
Sungchan kept you between him and the wall as you moved through the Nu Chi house, casting as much of a shadow against the garishly flashing lights as possible. Even through your earplugs, the music was raucous, people were practically screaming at each other, and you gripped one hand around his arm and the other onto his suit jacket to keep yourself balanced and to not lose him. When you got to the stairs, he fully wrapped an arm around your shoulders to jerk you out of the way of a drunk Nu Chi member stumbling his way down, and kept it there the rest of the way up. The noise was squeezing around your head like a vice, and you shut your eyes tight at the top of the stairs for a moment in an attempt to clear your head.
Sungchan’s voice was right beside your ear, muffled through the earplugs, “We’re almost there, Y/N, I’m sorry, come on.”
You were vaguely aware of the man with you feeling around on the top of a doorway before jiggling a doorhandle, and finally you were in a blissfully dark and quiet-ish room. Your head definitely hurt more than before, and you practically collapsed onto the bed.
“He was kind enough to stuff all his dirty clothes in the closet,” Sungchan muttered.
You managed a strangled chuckle at that, dropping your go bag onto the floor beside the bed. A moment of silence passed, and you could hear Sungchan awkwardly shifting his weight between his feet at the doorway.
“Sungchan,” you said his name, then patted the empty half of the bed beside you. “You can sit. I know Jeno doesn’t have any other furniture in here besides the bed and his PlayStation.”
“He probably only has a bedframe because it came with the room.”
You snickered, but were cut off by the squeezing pain turning to a sharp, stabbing pain behind your left eye, “Oh fuck!”
“Y/N?!” Sungchan was right beside you, and you felt the bed dip as he sat down beside you.
“Sorry, sorry, it feels like I’m getting an icepick lobotomy! Jesus!” You hissed, cupping a hand over your left eye as if that were actually going to do anything. “It’s normal, I’m fine. Relatively.”
“Okay…”
Still clutching your eye, you rolled onto your side and brought your knees up towards your chest. You blindly fumbled towards the head of the bed, and felt a pillow being pressed into your hand.
“Thanks,” you muttered, tucking it under your head.
“Do you want to lay under the covers?” Sungchan whispered.
“Do they smell like Jeno’s washed them in the past week?”
He laughed breathily at that, “Miraculously they do. I think he was planning on getting laid.”
“He gave up getting his dick wet for me. Jeno’s a real one,” you mumbled, feeling the covers that you were laying on top of being pulled out from under you.
Sungchan gently brought the sheet up to your shoulder, then a blanket too. The stabbing pain behind your eye was still there, and your stomach filled with dread as you acknowledged that your acute medication wasn’t going to be working this time. This was going to be a full-blown migraine, and who knew how many hours it would last.
“Thank you.”
“Is there anything else you need? Water?”
“No. Just uh, let me know when two hours have passed, I can take another dose of my meds that aren’t fucking working then.”
“Oh. Will do.”
You opened and closed your jaw, letting out a distinct groan. Another few minutes passed. Or, you think it was a few minutes, you couldn’t really check your phone for the time.
“Sungchan.”
“Yes?”
“You don’t have to stay. I’m sure the party is a lot more fun.”
“Do you want me to go?���
“…No.”
“I want to stay. I’m not going to have any fun out there knowing that you’re in all in this pain all alone in here.”
You squinted your right eye open, and had to crane your neck to look up at where Sungchan was sitting against the headboard. He had taken his suit jacket and shoes off at some point, now just in a rumpled dress shirt, loosened tie, slacks, and socks. He held your eye contact steadily, head tilted slightly and a frown across his handsome features.
Reaching your unoccupied hand up towards him, he watched it with confusion.
“What do you need? Your bag?”
“No.” You grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze.
“Oh.” An adorably radiant grin was on his face now instead.
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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1
Sungchan knew you’d finally fallen asleep when you stopped muttering swears and curses under your breath, the pained expression fell from your face, and your hand that was holding his went limp. He could still hear the party going strong outside of Jeno’s bedroom, and a glance at his phone told him it was just after one in the morning. He had no want to rejoin his friends, to leave you.
He took his tie all the way off, thinking to himself that if you were feeling better, you might have joked that he looked like Mulder the off-duty funeral director. And he would’ve laughed and watched the cute way the corners of your mouth quirked up when you said something that you thought was funny. He set the tie down with his shoes on the floor beside the bed.
Careful to stay on top of the covers that you were sleeping under, Sungchan shifted until he was laying down too, pillow tucked under his head, facing you on his side, hand still holding yours.
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Like usual, you didn’t remember falling asleep, but you did remember shutting your eyes tight and wishing really hard for your head to stop hurting so bad. Or to die. Whichever the Universe felt like granting. And judging by the fact that you were now waking up without a migraine, it seemed like the former.
The first thing you were aware of before you even opened your eyes was that you felt like shit. Sure, your head didn’t hurt anymore, but jeez the morning after wasn’t much better. Tired, achy, and your brain felt like TV static.
The second thing that you were aware of, after opening your eyes, was Jung Sungchan just a few inches from your face. He was still asleep, soft bursts of air passing from his lips and mussing up strands of hair that were falling into his eyes. You didn’t quite have enough in you to coo over his bedhead, but you could give half of a fond smile as you pushed yourself into a sitting position, running a sleepy hand over one side of your face.
Only one of your earplugs was still in your ears, and you looked around the bedsheets for the other one. After securing it, you scooted over to the edge of the bed to put the plugs back into your carrying case before rolling back over and pulling the blankets over you again. You deserved this, honestly. Sleeping in late, a comfy bed, warm blankets, a cute boy next to you, nothing to—
Your happy thoughts were ripped away by the sound of a loud alarm. You shot up, scrambling towards your tote bag to grab your phone from the depths of it and turn your goddamn alarm off before it woke Sungchan up.
“Mm?”
Too late.
Sheepishly, you looked over at him, “Sorry…”
“‘S okay,” he mumbled, flopping onto his back and rubbing a hand over his face. “How’s your head?”
“Better. A lot better, thanks.”
“Good, good.” He yawned, “Morning, by the way.”
“Good morning.”
His eyes were closed as he laid there, a hand resting on his chest, and you weren’t sure if he had fallen back asleep.
“…Sungchan?”
“Hm?”
Taking his inquisitive tone as a sign that you could keep talking, you said, “Uhm, that was the first time I’ve had anybody around for one my migraines in a while. I’m sorry if it was… well, I don’t know. What was it like for you?”
He opened his eyes, rolling onto his side to face you and tucking a hand under his cheek, “Oh, uh, I mean, I wasn’t quite worried, since you seemed like you knew exactly what was happening, you know? But still, I… I was wishing there was more I could do. It was weird knowing that you were in pain but not being able to see where it hurt.”
“I should’ve figured that might be upsetting. Sorry about all that.”
“No, Y/N, it's okay. I get it, you just wanted someone with you when you were hurting.”
“Yeah, yeah, I did,” you nodded, curling one of your hands into a fist in your lap, digging your nails into your palm in an attempt to not cry at how easily he saw right into you.
“I was more than happy to sit with you.”
“I’ve had these stupid migraines for years now. Tried every treatment in the book, been on every regiment. And my friends and family, they don’t treat me like I’m made of glass or anything, which I’m grateful for. Everyone in my life knows I’m a pro at it all: I’ve got my go bag, all my meds, my alarms, I’ve been going to doctors’ appointments, testing, everything for years. But like... they still hurt. The migraines still fucking hurt.” Your voice cracked over the word, and your nails dug in deeper. “And I just… think they forget that part sometimes? I don’t know, I guess they hear the word ‘migraine’ thousands of times over the years it sort of loses its meaning. They kind of forget what one actually is. But it hurts Sungchan, my head just hurts for hours or even days, sometimes so bad I throw up from the pain. I can’t do anything but lay in bed in the dark and cry. Last night’s wasn’t that bad but still… thank you. I needed for it to all be real to somebody.”
Sungchan pushed up into a sitting position, and through your watery vision you could see that his brows were furrowed. You followed where his gaze was locked, and watched as he gently unfurled your fingers. You used the thumb of your other hand to rub at the divots that your nails had left in your skin.
“The migraines are why I’ve been all weird, by the way.” You added, trying to ignore the strain in your voice.
“What?”
“When you wanted to buy me a drink after the game. One of my migraine medications that I take, I can’t drink alcohol on it. It just felt like a weird and long explanation to have to give in the moment. And when you asked if I wanted to dance with you last night, the music would’ve made the migraine come on quicker than it did, but explaining it to you then, again it felt like it would’ve ruined the moment even more.”
“Oh… don’t worry about it.”
There was still one big thing you hadn’t smoothed over. But it looks like you’re on man-shaped friend duties tonight, Sungchan. Stupid, stupid.
Pushing through the discomfort prickling at your skin, you asked, “Sungchan, do you want to go on a date?”
“A…” He looked you dead in the eyes for a moment, mouth parted, and blinked once, twice before he was absolutely beaming at you. “Yeah, yes, I do.”
“Okay.” You couldn’t help but giggle, nerves buzzing through you as your chest was airy and you were lightheaded for two reasons now, “Okay, good.”
“Is it bad for me to say that I’m relieved? That you have migraines? Well, not that you have them, because obviously they hurt, but like, that this is what it was? I seriously thought I was being stupid, like mixed signals or something. Like, you came to my game but then you didn’t want to go to the bar.” He ticked the instances off on the fingers of one hand.
“Medication,” you nodded.
“Right. Then you let me walk you home after, but you called me your friend.”
“That was just plain stupidity,” you admitted with a groan at having to relive that moment again.
“And you said yes to coming to the party, but then you didn’t want to dance with me,” Sungchan had now run out of fingers and dropped his hand back down to the bed.
“The music...”
“And when you disappeared, I thought you left because you didn’t like me. I just… felt like I was going crazy.”
“It’s not awful of you to be relieved about this. I’m sorry, Sungchan. Migraines aren’t conducive to romance, apparently.”
“Oh, bullshit.” He pushed back immediately. “They’re just not conducive to drinking and loud parties. That’s not romance.”
“Alright, fair. I’m wont to agree with you.”
“And you need to stop apologizing for your migraines. It’s not like you’re doing it on purpose.”
“Well, I did come to a loud ass party knowing I’d probably get a sound-induced migraine.”
“Okay, aside from that— which, I’m very flattered by and will never ever ask you to do anything like this ever again.”
“Okay.”
Suddenly the door handle rattled, then there was a banging on the door. “Hey! Are you two done in there?” Jeno yelled through the wood. “You better not be having post-headache sex on my bed!”
“Seems like he didn’t get laid last night,” Sungchan muttered.
“If he keeps up that pounding I’m going to get a rebound headache and he’s going to wake the entire house, please let him in,” you groaned.
The boy with you quickly moved to do so, unlocking the door and throwing it open to whisper aggressively, “Jeno! Shut the fuck up! People are still sleeping!”
“Oh. You’re dressed.”
You rolled your eyes at your friend, “I don’t know what you think a migraine is like, but getting my back blown out is pretty far down on my to-do list for immediately after.”
“How are you feeling?” Jeno was nice enough to ask as he rooted through his closet.
“Like shit. While you guys nurse actual hangovers today, I get to nurse a migraine hangover. Same awful morning after without the fun night before.”
“That sucks.” He secured a rumpled shirt and inside out pair of sweatpants. “I told Chenle you were crashing here last night, by the way. He didn’t just abandon you for shits and giggles.”
“Oh, thanks. He was sober enough to drive?”
“Mark had a Breathalyzer and everything.”
“Wow…”
“Now I recommend you two get the fuck out before everyone else wakes up and sees you sneaking out together.”
“Right,” Sungchan nodded, sitting on the edge of Jeno’s bed and pulling his shoes on.
You quickly gathered your shoes, phone, witch hat, and go bag before giving Jeno a short goodbye and following Sungchan out. The Nu Chi house was thankfully quiet as everyone was still asleep in their own rooms, save for the partygoers and brothers who had passed out on the couches in the living rooms. Once you were on the front porch, the two of you dared to speak again.
“I’ll drive you home, Y/N,” Sungchan offered.
“Mhm, thanks,” you squinted against the bright sunlight, reaching into your bag for the spare pair of sunglasses you kept in there.
He gestured to your bag. “So what all do you have in there?”
“Everything but the kitchen sink.” You sighed, finally securing your sunglasses and putting them on. They did help, but you knew there was no way you were going to avoid a rebound headache today. Realizing that Sungchan might actually have been genuinely asking and wasn’t just trying to be polite, you decided to give him a sincere answer as well. “Uh, my meds, my blood pressure cuff, earplugs, sunglasses, some snacks, other miscellaneous non-migraine related stuff like an umbrella.”
“Blood pressure cuff?” He stopped in front of a sedan parked on the street, and opened the passenger door for you.
Even through your unpleasant migraine hangover, you couldn’t help the giddy smile that crossed your lips at the gesture.
Once the both of you were in the car, you explained, “One of my medications affects my blood pressure. I have to check it every few hours, or whenever I feel kind of funny. That’s partially what the snacks are for too.”
“Really?” He started the car and pulled out into the street.
“Most of my meds I need to take with food, so keeping snacks on me makes it easy. The sweet ones are in case my blood sugar drops though.”
“Blood sugar too?”
“A different medication affects my appetite, secondary effect is on my blood sugar. Fun fact, it’s the same one that keeps me from drinking alcohol. Anyway, if you’re ever craving something sweet, I keep gummies and stuff on me usually.”
Sungchan let out a deep breath. “Wow…”
“Oh and water.” You perked up as you realized you’d forgotten something, and reached in for said item. “I've got my water bottle. I need water to take my meds, obviously, but I also need to drink water to make sure I don’t get kidney stones from my medication.”
The car had stopped at a stoplight, and he looked over at you in disbelief. “What the fuck.”
“Hey, it’s this or be entirely unable to participate in society.” You explained. “I used to get five or six migraines a week, with really bad or mild headaches constantly in between. I couldn’t do anything, they were disabling. Clearly, they still are now when I do get them, but I only get one or two a month.”
“I can’t imagine— I… yeah…” He trailed off as the light turned green, a deep frown etching itself on his features as he clearly was trying to imagine what a huge shift in his life that would be. And was having a hard time doing so.
“People without chronic illnesses usually can’t, until they get one,” you shrugged. “I know I couldn’t imagine it either. Then I got my first migraine. Then my second, and my third. I think the ‘chronic illness’ part really hit for me when I had to order my first sharps disposal bin for the monthly injections I take.”
“You’re…”
“Do not say that I’m so strong or any live laugh love type shit right now.”
He laughed, shaking his head, “No, no, not what I was going to say. I was just thinking… you’re really cool.”
“I just info-dumped about my migraines, medication, medication side effects, and treatment to you for ten minutes straight and that’s the conclusion you came to?” You asked in disbelief as he pulled into your apartment complex, and it dawned on you just how long you had been talking about yourself for. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been that detailed with someone other than your neurologist or your mom about your condition and treatment.
Sungchan put his car in park to turn and look you in the eye. “I’m looking at the bigger picture here: You’re a Lit major, you like Gothic fiction, you’re good at writing, you’re smart and know things like death of the author and stuff, you like Pacific Rim, you’ve come to one of my games, you’re funny, and you just info-dumped to me about something personal for ten minutes. So yes, I think you’re cool. Actually, cool might be an understatement.”
“Jung Sungchan, you…” Your cheeks were hurting with how wide you were grinning. Whether it was the migraine hangover or truly from how warm and happy his words made you, you couldn’t formulate a proper response, “Congrats, I’m speechless.”
“I think that's good?” He laughed again. “Anyway, you told Jeno earlier that you felt like shit, so I won’t hold you up anymore. Rest well today, Y/N.”
“Thanks. You too, Sungchan.” You wrapped your hand around the door handle but stopped just short of actually opening it. “Oh, and uhm, I don’t know if this too eager or whatever, but I’m free tomorrow.”
His face lit up with recognition at what you were implying. “Me too. But are you going to be okay? Like, recovered?”
“Yeah, I’ve got all day today to sleep it off.”
“Okay.” He grinned.
“Okay.” You repeated. “Text me?”
“Yes, yes. I will.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
And with that, you got out of his car, making sure to take your go bag that had been on your lap for the whole drive.
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Halfway to your front door, you turned around to give Sungchan a final wave goodbye, and he waved back through the windshield. Once you’d finally disappeared into your apartment, he looked over at his now empty passenger seat. Well, not completely empty, he realized. Your witch hat was on the floor of the passenger side, you’d forgotten to grab it on your way out. He picked it up, gently setting it on the seat beside him. He’d just give it back to you when he saw you again for your date tomorrow.
“A date,” Sungchan sighed happily, feeling his chest swell and nearly burst with joy. “A date, a date, a date.”
Putting his car in reverse, he looked through the rear window as he muttered, “Suck an egg, Donghyuck. Man-shaped friend, my ass.”
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SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2
Sungchan picked you up at 7:00 p.m. on the dot for your first date. You made sure to take your nighttime meds early and silence your alarms so there was nothing to bother you that night. Migraines notwithstanding, of course. You still had to bring your go bag just in case you needed anything acute, but you didn’t think twice about leaving the majority of it in the car, tucking just a couple individually packaged tablets into your pocket before accepting Sungchan’s hand that he offered to you after opening your car door for you.
Walking into the movie theater with him after he bought your tickets, you were about to start off in the direction that the usher had pointed you when your date stopped you.
“You want anything from concessions?” He nodded towards the long line of other couples, families, and groups of friends.
“I’m not big on overpriced popcorn,” you shook your head with a smile. “Thanks though, Sungchan.”
“You sure you don’t want a soda or candy? How’s your, you know, blood sugar?”
It was then that your polite smile morphed into a genuine, touched one, and you squeezed his hand that you were holding. “I’m doing good, promise. I made sure I ate before. But thank you, seriously. You’re really sweet.”
“Okay, but let me know if you need anything.”
“Sungchan, can I tell you something?” You ducked your head in towards him conspiratorially.
“Yeah, of course.”
You gently shook one side of your jacket, and a muffled rattling sound came from within it. “I snuck a bag of Skittles in,” you whispered to him.
He chuckled as you dropped your jacket back down and smoothed over the inside pocket inconspicuously. “Two steps ahead of me.”
“I just didn’t want to ruin our date if I got low.”
“It’s very thoughtful, thanks.”
“So are you!” You tried to reassure him.
The two of you entered where your movie would be showing, and picked your seats. The previews had already started, so you had to drop your voices to whispers.
“But you’re going to be good with the bright light, and the sounds?” Sungchan double-checked with you.
You nodded insistently. “You’re the one who made me compile a list of stuff that I could do, remember?”
“I know, but you also came to that party knowing that it was like 100% guaranteed to give you a migraine. So I think I’ve earned some skepticism.”
“Okay, fine. You got me there,” you sighed. “But I get nothing out of suggesting things that will give me migraines other than cutting our time together short. Which I don’t want to do.”
Sungchan shifted in his seat, and when you looked over at him, you could see a small, bashful smile on his face. “Good. Glad we got that cleared up.”
The previews finally ended, and the entire theater quieted down, including you two. You settled in to watch the movie, scooting closer to your date, looping your arm under his, and resting your head on his shoulder. He hesitantly leaned his head against the top of yours.
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As you left the theater hand-in-hand with Sungchan, you two were deep in discussion about the movie, and in the back of your mind, you realized with a panic that you had far too much that you wanted to say that wouldn’t fit into the short ride back to your apartment. Not to mention that you didn’t want your night with him to be over yet.
“Hey.” You called for his attention as he opened up the passenger door for you, stopping before you got in the car.
“Hey.” He offered you a lopsided grin, still holding the door open with one hand and now caging you between him and the open car door.
If the parking lot wasn’t literally swarming with other movie theater patrons, you swore you would’ve grabbed him and kissed him stupid right there and then. But a family of five walked by at that moment, so you swallowed down the itch.
“We should go somewhere,” you suggested, trying to sound equal parts nonchalant and hopeful. Which was a weird combination, you knew, but you didn’t want to come across as too desperate. Again, a ridiculous sentiment, but it was engrained in you with social conditioning or whatever.
“We just went somewhere,” he pointed out knowingly, and you swore that was a smirk that you spotted on his face in the shadowy lighting afforded by the parking lot streetlamps.
“We should go somewhere else.”
“Like where?”
“I don’t know,” you shrugged, despite how desperate you felt on the inside to just be around him right now. “Somewhere. Are you hungry?”
“Are you?”
You pressed your lips together in a thin line. “Well—”
Finally, he smiled, nodded towards the car, and said, “I know somewhere. Get in.”
Sungchan closed the car door after you before walking around to get into the driver’s side. He didn’t offer you any information or clues as to your new destination as he left the movie theater parking lot. The hockey captain drove with one hand casually holding the bottom of the steering wheel, the other tapping out the rhythm of whatever song was playing over his speakers onto his thigh. You dragged your eyes from his fingers to the passing scenery.
Honestly, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been on a good date. Even the last date you’d been on was a distant memory. Lunch with some CompSci major your freshman year, a blind date set up by a mutual acquaintance. He just talked over you the whole time. You didn’t deign to go on a second date with him. It wasn’t that your migraines made it impossible to date—they hadn’t even come up at the date with the CompSci major (mostly because he didn’t give you the opportunity to say much of anything)—but you knew that it was always going to be something to get out of way. Either up front or at some point down the line. And it was exhausting enough for you to have to completely restructure your life around them, how could you really ask some stranger who barely knew you—or didn’t at all—to consider doing the same? It felt like it just made your dating pool even narrower, an added standard that you didn’t even get to pick.
But with Sungchan, it had happened in the worst way possible, you disappeared on him because you were having a migraine, without even having told him anything about them. And not only was he more than chill about it, he stayed with you through your entire full-blown migraine. Listened to you explain every ailment, medication, and medication complication that you have, and just tucked all that information away to keep track of your wellbeing. Taken it all in stride and made it look easy. And that was before your first date. It almost made you angry. Not at Sungchan, but at the fact that other people had ever made you feel like an inconvenience.
The car slowing to a stop knocked you from your thoughts, and you didn’t even realize that you had been silent for the entire trip. Sungchan didn’t seem to mind, though, as he hadn’t tried to start a conversation either. He put the car in park as you looked around, trying to gauge where exactly you were.
“Are we… on campus?” You turned to him with an eyebrow raised.
He was already out of the car, though, jogging around to get your door. As he opened it for you, he tilted his head innocently, “What was that?”
You stepped out, taking in your surroundings. “Are we at a campus parking garage?”
“Specifically, the top floor of Evergreen Parking Garage,” Sungchan clarified, rolling the passenger window down.
Evergreen Parking Garage was a commuter-only parking facility, meaning that this level was empty this late at night. It was also located at the furthest reaches of the north block of campus, which bordered a nature preserve, meaning that while on one side was your university campus, the other side was entirely evergreen trees. Hence the name.
Sungchan had parked on the side that faced the nature preserve, and as you turned to question your date as to why exactly he’d taken you to campus, you were instead greeted by the sight of him hunched over to lean into the open passenger window, seemingly messing around with the audio controls of the still-running car.
You tilted your head to one side, then the other as you just watched him struggle for a moment before finally speaking up. “What uh… What are you doing, Sungchan?”
He banged his head on the frame of the window as he went to stand back up. “Fuck! Ow…”
Covering your hand to muffle your giggles, you waited patiently for him to turn around and answer you.
Still clutching his head, he said with a sheepish smile, “Just give me a sec, sorry. Technical difficulties.”
And with that, he opened the door to properly sit in the passenger seat, futzing with his phone and the car radio. Finally, there was music playing from the speakers as opposed to the radio station ads, and he turned the volume up before getting back out of the car and shutting the door. With both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, you could hear the song clearly.
“I was originally going to try to take you to this lookout, but there were other cars there, so I had to keep driving by it and oh my god why did I tell you that—” He scratched the back of his head nervously. “Anyway, since we didn’t get to dance at the party…”
Sungchan offered his hand out to you, and you set yours atop it. The upbeat song that had been playing finished just then, switching to a much slower, softer one. You stepped in closer, smiling up at him as you looped your free arm around his neck. His other hand settled on your hip, and he slowly started leading you in an uncertain sway of sorts.
You let out an airy chuckle, “Was this really the kind of dancing you had in mind for a frat party?”
“Would you believe me if I said yes?” He questioned.
“Would you believe me if I said that I believed you?”
“No.”
You snickered. “Smart man.”
“But this is good, too. Better, even.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, there’s not a bunch of other drunk, sweaty, loud people everywhere knocking into us. I don’t have to worry about somebody spilling beer on me, or other guys looking at you, or the DJ picking something bad. Or you getting a migraine.” Sungchan slotted his fingers with yours. “I just get to think about you.”
You rested your head on his chest, eyes zoning out on your linked hands. It was his right hand, so his pinky finger couldn’t quite fold down along with the others. “Yeah. I like this, too,” you agreed softly.
A cool breeze gently blew across your cheek that wasn’t resting on Sungchan’s chest, and you were glad for the warmth of him pressed against your front. Your feet awkwardly bumped into each other, making you chuckle, and he apologized with a nervous laugh.
“It’s okay,” you reassured him. “I haven’t exactly taken any ballroom dancing classes. Have you?”
“Well...”
You jerked your head back to look him in the face. “You have?”
“You know how Greek life has those formals every year?”
“You’re not in a frat...”
“No, I’m not. But freshman year, Nu Chi had pitched in for this dance teacher and— God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Sungchan said regretfully, tilting his head back to look up in embarrassment.
“Sungchan, come on!” You pleaded.
“Hendery swore me to secrecy...”
“Well now you have to tell me!”
“Hendery’s date couldn’t make it to one of the lessons, so he asked me to fill in for her...”
Your jaw dropped with delight, “Was his date an Amazon? How did that work? He couldn’t have possibly dipped you! Or twirled you!”
“She was taller than him, to be fair,” he admitted. “Nothing that couldn’t be adjusted for with some thick soles, but, you know...”
“You’re such a good friend, Sungchan,” you said through a couple of giggles, imagining the two of them attempting the aforementioned twirls and dips.
He dropped his head, shaking it. “Right, thanks.”
“So I guess I should be leading then, hm?” You teased, your feet bumping his again in that moment.
“I feel like you’d lead us over the edge of this parking deck, Y/N,” he joked.
Before you could make a retort, he stepped back from you to gently twirl you around by the hand, and a cross between a surprised yelp and a laugh tumbled from your mouth. As he brought you back into his chest, you could barely think over the joyful buzzing in your head that resonated out to every square inch of your body.
“Okay, okay, I guess you can lead,” you surrendered, looping your arm back around his neck again.
After some time, the songs had picked up tempo again, but you and Sungchan were long past actually dancing to them. You were more so just holding each other, leisurely swaying, and from here you got to listen to the sounds of his breathing. He’d taken to rubbing absentminded circles into your hip with his thumb, and the fingers of your arm that was around his neck had dipped below the material of his collar, resting on his bare skin.
“Sungchan?” You murmured.
“Yes?” He responded, his voice rumbling right under your ear.
“Thank you for not making me do this in front of a bunch of other cars at the other lookout.”
He let out a couple quiet laughs, his chest shaking with each. “You’re welcome. I figured all of the teens making out in their cars also didn’t want to watch us do this either.”
You mock gasped, pretending to sound scandalized, “You were going to take me to a lover’s lookout? On the first date? Jung Sungchan…”
“Who are you, my grandma? Nobody calls it that anymore.” He pinched your side. “And only because it’s actually got a great view over the city and—”
“I’m kidding, Sungchan.” You pinched him back, lightly, on the nape of the neck. “Besides, I wouldn’t have been opposed to a trip to a lover’s lookout with you anyway…”
You heard the breath hitch in his throat, then Sungchan swallowed and inhaled through his nose, before he finally spoke, “Really?”
His grip on your hip tightened, sending a bolt of electricity along your skin out from the contact point. You brought your head out of his chest and used your arm around his neck to draw him in even closer.
“Really,” you echoed, blatantly staring at his lips now that they were centimeters away from yours. “And it looks like we’ve got our own right here.”
Then Sungchan was using his hold on your hip to push you back step by step until your back was against the side of his car. Your own arm around his neck kept him anchored to you as he stood hovering over you, blotting out any light that would’ve come from the light post above you. Your noses were almost touching, your breaths mingling in the negligible space between your mouths. You were looking at Sungchan’s eyes now, usually a warm, deep brown, now all inky blackness in the dark of night, and staring down at your own mouth. Your tongue instinctually darted out to wet your lips, and that seemed to be the final straw.
His mouth on yours was desperate, but not desperate to get laid, like your previous lover’s lookout banter might imply. Like he was just desperate for you. He stole kiss after kiss from your lips, but never forced his tongue into your mouth, nor moved his hands anywhere else. Despite leaning more and more of his weight forward onto you, utterly pinning you to the car, he kept his bruising grip on your hip and never let go of your hand.
You parted your mouth with a bedraggled gasp of his name, and he finally took this as an invite to slip his tongue into the mix. You shifted to rest the hand that was laced with his above your head, on the roof of the sedan, giving his hand a squeeze. He squeezed your hand back.
Turning your head and breaking the kiss, you hoped he’d get the idea as you continued laying there half-spread out under him. He did, thankfully, kissing from the corner of your mouth across your cheek and down your jaw and neck.
“Sung…chan…” You breathed out his name, stroking the back of his head with your free hand as his lips latched onto a spot at the base of your neck.
Trailing your hand down further, you snuck it up under the hem of his shirt, feeling over the expanse of his chest and stomach. Oh fuck yeah, hockey players. You pulled the article of clothing up towards his head insistently, and he detached from your neck for the two of you to jointly strip him of it. Oh fuck yeah, hockey players. You truly didn’t know if he looked or felt better, but you couldn’t ogle him for long, because he was back on top of you as soon as he’d thrown the shirt into the front seat via the open passenger window beside you. His lips were so warm on yours, his skin even hotter under your touch now as you unabashedly felt up every inch of it and the muscles underneath.
But soon that wasn’t enough either, and you were fumbling at his pants button. He groaned into your mouth, the sound vibrating down into your own chest, as his hand snapped around your wrist.
“Ahh…” He hissed regretfully.
“What?” You looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I can’t get my dick out in public.”
You glanced at the car behind you, with its tinted windows, then back at Sungchan. He met your eyes, then shrugged. “That’ll work.”
It was a mad scramble to get the door to the backseat open, so much so that you accidentally smacked Sungchan in the leg with said door. After lots of apologies through giggles, both of you were in the backseat with the doors closed and locked. Sungchan had the task of awkwardly reaching forward over the console to roll the windows back up first, during which you made a couple observations about his backseat, which you hadn’t seen much of before. His practice bag for hockey was back here—which was different than his gear bag, as you’d already been told. The gear bag actually had his equipment that he needed to play with like mouth guards, sticks, and all of that, while his practice bag had more personal stuff like changes of clothes or hygiene products. You figured his gear bag was either in the trunk or at the rink, as he didn’t always need to carry it back and forth with him. But other than the practice bag and a couple of reusable grocery bags on the floor, the backseat was pretty clean. You were genuinely impressed, especially because he made it sound like he tended to chauffeur a lot of his teammates/roommates around frequently.
Sungchan eventually reentered the backseat fully, focusing a content, closed-lip smile on you. You’d taken it upon yourself to lay down on the seat, your knees propped up by your feet. He settled in to kneel on the same cushion as your feet, but just rested an arm on your knees and his chin atop that forearm to gaze down at you, still smiling.
“What? What’s that smile for?” You asked, starting to feel a bit self-conscious.
“Nothing, I just—” He reached both his hands out towards you, fingers spread, and you got the idea, linking yours with them. “I hope you don’t get the wrong idea. I want this to be a real thing, Y/N. Like, I don’t just want to sleep with you. I don’t even do this kind of stuff—car sex on the first date in a campus parking garage?—literally ever. I’m just kinda crazy about you. I know for most people usually it’s the opposite; you know, they save it for later for really important people. They try to make it special, but I know it’ll be special just because it’s you.”
“Sungchan... I’ve never done something like this either,” you admitted, squeezing both of his hands tight. “I think I’m just kinda crazy about you too.”
“Okay. Cool.” He beamed at you, and you felt your insides turn to mush in that moment. You didn’t think they’d ever un-mush again.
“Now can you please take my clothes off before I spontaneously combust?”
“Fuck. Yeah.” He nodded, immediately turning serious as his brow furrowed and he leaned forward to lock his lips with yours again, propping himself up with one hand to hover above you.
You let your knees fall apart to give him room to settle in between your legs. He pulled at your jacket first, and you sat up to help yank it off, dropping it to the floor with his practice bag. With you no longer laying down, he could use two hands to get the next part, your top. His fingertips skimmed along your skin as he grabbed the hem. You broke the kiss so he could start pulling the clothing up your body—
A loud knock against the driver’s side window quite literally made you scream, and Sungchan jerked up and hit his head once again, this time on the roof of the car. You tugged your shirt back down to cover you, ducking to lay flat on the seat as Sungchan looked at you with panic in his eyes.
Another knock came at the window, this time accompanied by a man’s voice, “Campus security! Roll the window down or I’m going to ask you to turn the car off and step out!”
“Just a second!” Sungchan yelled back, a noticeable crack in his voice. He had a difficult time maneuvering his lanky body over the console fully into the driver’s seat again.
“Now!” The man called out again. “Three! Two!”
Sungchan didn’t have time to put on his shirt before ‘one,’ and he rushed to roll the window down. A flashlight was immediately shone into the car, and you didn’t doubt your own visibility to the security officer. You were remaining laying down for your own mental wellbeing at this point. You didn’t think that you could deal with looking this man in the eye right now.
You didn’t know if it was wisdom or embarrassment that kept your date from saying anything, but he thankfully didn’t speak until spoken to, not offering up any incriminating information. After five entire seconds of silence, the officer let out an audible sigh.
“No overnight parking in this garage,” he said, his tone making it very clear that he knew that was not what was going on. “I’ll be back in five minutes and if you’re still here, you’re getting a ticket.”
“Yes, sir,” Sungchan replied.
“I’m sure that the captain of our hockey team wouldn’t want to get put on probation at the beginning of the season.”
“N-No, sir.” His voice cracked again.
The security officer grunted, but said nothing more. You heard Sungchan roll the window back up, then the sound of another car driving away. Slowly, Sungchan turned around to look at you over the console with wide, horrified eyes.
“He knew who I was…” He whispered. “That was the most terrifying 45 seconds of my life.”
“You’re famous, Sungchan,” you teased, sitting up in the backseat now that the coast was clear.
“Yeah, and fame has got so many perks so far.”
“Almost got into your first scandal already.” You clicked your tongue disapprovingly. “Caught with a girl in your backseat. What will the fans say?”
“Considering my fans are all frat bros, probably something along the lines of wolf whistles and incoherent, congratulatory lewd jeering.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, able to picture that perfectly considering you’d already gotten a taste at the first home game you’d gone to. “Sounds about right.”
“Anyway, I should take you home before that guy comes back.”
“Good idea.” You slipped your jacket back on.
“Are you going to come up here or am I your chauffeur?”
“I suppose I’ll sit up there with you,” you sighed, opening the backseat to get out and into the front normally since there was no security man around.
Back in the passenger seat, you handed Sungchan’s shirt back to him, “Here, have some decency. You’re the captain of the hockey team, you know.”
“I’m sorry, who was going to spontaneously combust if we didn’t get naked in the next 0.2 seconds?” He scoffed, pulling his top back on.
“I don’t recall.”
“Sure.”
“And who’s still hard in their jeans right now?”
“Don’t remind me, I have to drive like this,” he groaned, taking the car out of park with a shake of his head.
As Sungchan drove with one hand, the other reached over to take yours, lacing his fingers together with yours.
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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 6
Just a few days later, and you were at the rink again, eagerly watching the hockey game in front of you. Chenle was beside you, continuing his constant sports commentary on every play that happened. You still mostly tuned it out, but you were pretty sure you at least understood most of the basic rules that Taeyong had explained to you before. You kept your eyes on Sungchan, cheering him on along with the other various Nu Chi brothers around you and other fans in the stands. It wasn’t as full of a house as it had been for the first home game, but you were perfectly content to have a slightly quieter environment.
Sungchan happened to skate by your section as everyone was resetting their positions, giving you a wave through the clear barrier. You gave him a slightly bashful but nevertheless bright grin as you waved back.
“So are you two like... dating now?” Hendery asked from your other side, leaned forward with both of his elbows on his knees as he watched the game. He looked back at you over his shoulder with a shit-eating grin, though, one that made you roll your eyes.
“I don’t know. We’ve been on a date. I mean, there was the Halloween party, but I got a migraine so I don’t think that really counts, so— I don’t have to explain myself to you!” You scowled at him, shoving him away by his shoulder.
He laughed as he let himself get jostled around in his seat from the push, holding his hands up in surrender. “Just curious. Unlike your bestie over there, I think you two are adorable.”
“What?” You looked over at Chenle, who Hendery had pointed at.
Chenle had apparently been listening enough to be able to jump in to defend himself. “It’s not what it sounds like. I think you two are great, promise.”
You turned back to your other friend. “Then what the hell are you talking about, Hendery?”
“He just doesn’t want to lose,” the Nu Chi member explained. “I pegged Sungchan’s huge crush on you on day 1 of Dr. Son’s class. Once the Phanta Phour stuff started, I knew that boy had no chance. Chenle just didn’t think you’d ever... hold on, how’d he put it... be into uh, ‘Neanderthal frat-bro-in-law types.’”
“I was maybe a bit tipsy...” Chenle added in.
“So you made a bet on if Sungchan and I would get together? In four whole years?” You looked from left to right between them.
“Loser has to buy winner a 12-pack,” Hendery confirmed with that same grin. “When Phantasmagorical Phriday ended this year, I really thought I’d lost. But then you turned up at the game last week and I figured Sungchan just might score himself a buzzer beater.”
“You two need to get better hobbies,” you declared with a snort.
“This so counts as sudden-death OT, but whatever,” Chenle scoffed under his breath.
You smacked him across the chest. “And don’t call my dating life ‘sudden death’ either.”
“Hey.” He said softly, grabbing your arm, and you turned your head to meet his gaze. “I really was worried about you going to the Halloween party with your head. I swear.”
“I know, LeLe,” you nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. “You did some great wingmanning once we got there.”
The brief flash of sincerity you got from your best friend was over as quick as it had come, as you heard the crash of helmets on the ice, and both your focuses were drawn back to the game. Two players had collided into each other and the clear barrier right in front of your faces. You grimaced sympathetically as you tried to identify the player from your team. 23— Jeno, ah, he’d be alright. And you were right, he took off almost immediately as the other guy was left behind still dazed.
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At the end of the game, with the buzz of another win in your veins and the anticipation of seeing Sungchan thrumming along your skin, you bounced on your heels as you waited in the lobby. You weren't paying attention to the ecstatic, dramatic recollections that Chenle and the Nu Chi brothers were giving of specific plays around you, your gaze entirely focused on the locker room exit.
The very first player to leave was Sungchan, his eyes already scanning the crowd. Without a second thought, you darted over to him, ignoring the couple of whoops and whistles you two got from your friends.
Sungchan beamed down at you as he went to pull you into a hug, and you were immediately enveloped in the smell of the freshly washed clothes that you’d caught last time. This time, though, there was the distinct, crisp smell of ice rink ice under it as well, reminding you of when you’d go ice skating with friends.
“Hey,” you smiled up at him as he let you go, but didn’t step back very far. “You played really good again. I’m pretty sure. A bit more sure than I was last time.”
He was still grinning, looking down at the floor then back up at you before he responded, “Thank you. And I don’t really expect you to become a hockey pro or anything if all that doesn’t interest you. As long as you don’t expect me to remember what death of the author is.”
“This was only my second game, have some faith in me!” You cried out indignantly. “And no, I don’t expect you to become a full-blown literary critic either.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized through a couple of poorly suppressed giggles. “I do believe in you. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to learn boring sports stuff for me.”
“I do want to be able to follow the basics of a game without Chenle or Taeyong annotating it for me, at least.”
“Oh, yeah, you can definitely do that. Might need to come to a few more games, though...”
You nodded giddily. “Just let me know when the home games are and I’m there.”
“Yo!” A voice had called from the gaggle of guys heading towards the exit. You didn’t even realize that the rest of the team had left the locker room in the time that you’d been talking to Sungchan.
While you couldn’t tell who had gotten your attention, it was Donghyuck that asked, “Are you two coming or are you just going to keep making moony eyes at each other all night?”
“Yeah, Sungchan, you’re our ride!” Yangyang yelled out from somewhere.
“DD!” Jeno cheered.
“I’ll drive you two,” Mark offered with a shake of his head.
“Shotgun!” The two of them immediately dibs-ed in unison.
“Sorry, bitches, I’m his little,” Donghyuck declared. “That means eternal dibs on shotgun in Mark’s car.”
The frat president scoffed, “You only give a shit about that when it directly benefits you.”
“You guys go ahead,” Sungchan cut into their bickering. “We’re right behind you.”
After they had all filed out, he looked back down at you, a nervous smile worming across his face. “Sorry about that...”
“It’s okay,” you said. “So... you ready to go?”
The two of you had already discussed going to the after-game celebrations with the team before this. Sungchan texted you last night to check in and make sure you’d be okay with going from the loud game to a noisy bar/pool hall with a bunch of frat guys after. You’d assured him that you’d be okay as long as you sat away from any music speakers at the bar, and he’d in turn made you promise to tell him if you needed to leave early.
However, he now halted you as you were slowly turning towards the exit. “Wait, I want to try this again.”
With a sneaking suspicion of what he was about to do, you assured him, “Sungchan, you don’t have to—”
“Let me do this. Please.” He gave you those same eyes that had convinced you to go to a frat party in the first place, and you were squaring your shoulders back to face him, giving him a firm nod.
“Okay. Go for it.”
He asked casually, “So, did you drive yourself?”
You had to hold back a laugh, covering your mouth to straighten your face before replying coyly, “Oh, me? I walked. My apartment is close.”
“So, the team all goes out to this bar after home games. It’s a pretty sleazy dive bar, and I know it’s a Thursday night, but I’d really like for you to come with me. I’ll buy you a... soda.”
“I would love to come, Sungchan,” you giggled, adjusting your purse strap.
“Awesome,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
As you walked up to the passenger side of his car with him, you suddenly realized something. “Wait, did you have your car last time, too?”
“Maybe?” He rubbed the back of his neck, reaching for the door handle to open it for you.
“Then why did you walk me home?”
“To spend more time with you?”
You stole a quick kiss before ducking into the passenger seat.
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Squished into one side of a booth with Sungchan’s arm around you, you chatted happily with Chenle, Ten, and Sicheng, who were sitting opposite from you. The team and cheer section were spread out between a couple booths and tables near each other, a few of them up playing pool too. You sipped on your soda between discussions about tonight’s game, upcoming games, classes, or whatever else struck you all. Currently, you were locked in a conversation with Ten about the most recent assigned reading in a class that you two shared together this semester.
“I thought that scene had a lot of great allusions back to the earlier one with her mother and the pie baking,” you gushed.
“Really?” Ten tilted his head curiously. “I was seeing it more as a continuation of the cannibalism-sex-love metaphor, since they were eating figs, you know.”
You nodded knowingly. “That’s true. Everything’s about sex—”
“Except sex.” You two finished quoting your professor in unison.
“And then with figs, there’s the Bible interpretation, of course,” you continued.
“Always the Bible.”
“We can never escape what John Milton did for Christian fanfiction, truly.”
“But I do like the pie scene connection the more that I think about it, actually.” Ten knocked back the rest of his cocktail. “And, tying her mother into the cannibalism metaphor could be a fascinating angle, too.”
Your eyes widened as you were practically vibrating your seat with excitement now. “Yeah, her earliest memory being of food, parental love, and harm...”
“Anyway, I need a refill.” Your friend shook his glass of ice with a smile. “Be back. Good chat as always, Y/N.”
Chenle and Sicheng scooted out of the booth to let Ten out, the former heading off towards the restrooms while the co-captain followed his roommate to the bar, leaving just you and Sungchan. You continued musing over the new connections you’d just made in the text as you turned your gaze back over to Sungchan beside you. He was already looking at you, a fond half-smile on his face.
“Hi.” He said quietly.
“Hi,” you replied, just as quiet.
Sungchan took a swig of his drink, then eyed yours. “You haven’t drunk any water since we get here.”
He’d been sure to not only order your promised soda of choice, but also water, and as you now looked over at your two cups, you could tell that the water had not been touched at all while the soda was practically empty.
“Oh uh, I guess I haven’t.”
“Drink some.” He pushed it towards you insistently. “Can’t have you getting kidney stones on my watch.”
“Okay, okay.” You acquiesced easily, switching your straw over to that glass and chugging a quarter of it in one go. “Better?”
“Much.” He nodded in satisfaction. “So what were you and Ten saying about pies and sex or whatever? Sex isn’t about sex?”
“Oh, it’s just something one of our professors says a lot. ‘Everything is about sex except sex.’ For lit analysis. In literature, pretty much everything is about sex. Or can be. You can turn like, anything in a piece of text into an innuendo or euphemism if you wanted to. Except for sex. Like, if a sex scene is included in a piece of literature, it’s not actually about the sex that’s being depicted. The sex is meant to represent something else. Like politics, or social structures, or whatever other themes are present in the work. Unless you’re just reading porn. But even then, there’s artistic merit to erotica, and plenty to be learned about the social structures at the time it was written, too.”
Sungchan hadn’t blinked the entire time you’d been rambling on, and upon you finally stopping, blinked in rapid succession as he seemed to come to from a daze. “Wow. Uh, interesting. Filing that away with death of the author.”
“Sungchan...” You leaned in to whisper, placing a hand on the inside of his thigh, just above his knee. His leg jumped, knocking his knee into the tabletop. Your hand had narrowly avoided being smashed too, saved only by its position curled around his leg instead of directly on top. You didn’t move it up or down now though, simply tapping your index finger against the loose material of his sweatpants as you giggled. “What are you thinking about?”
He cleared his throat a couple of times. “How you still have three-quarters of that glass of water left to drink.”
You laughed, slumping to relax into his side and pulling your hand back up to a more casual position on top of his leg. With your other hand, you grabbed your water. “Alright, fine.”
Not too long after your water had been drained, Sungchan was driving you home. Some of your other friends had taken off as well, and you didn't put up too much of a protest when he offered. As your familiar building came into view, you suddenly remembered something.
“Oh, visitor’s parking is over there. Sorry, forgot to mention before.” You pointed to a few parking spots painted with yellow lines instead of white, further away from the apartment entrances than the resident parking. “They’re a bit picky. Chenle got towed after like, five minutes one time.”
“Got it. Thanks.” Sungchan smoothly turned the wheel to pull into one of the open visitor’s spots.
Your reason for showing it to him was two-fold. One, to let him know you hoped he’d be coming over more often, so he’d need that information for future reference. And two, for perhaps less innocent ulterior motives tonight. Truly, your apartment complex only towed people after dark. Overnight visitors. Chenle’s five-minute tow had been a fluke.
“I’ll walk you to your door,” he said with no prompting, and you had to hold in a sigh of relief.
Instead, you gave him a genuine smile. “Thanks, Sungchan.”
“I don’t think I thanked you for coming tonight. To the game.” He slowly meandered up the sidewalk with you, hand holding yours.
“Thanks for inviting me again. I had a lot of fun.” You squeezed his hand.
Your front door loomed in the not-so-distant distance.
“Uh, are you busy this weekend?” He rushed to ask. “I have Saturday morning practice, at 7:30, but it’s over at 9:00, and after that I’m free.”
So that’s why he had texted you at seven in the morning to congratulate you on winning Phantasmagorical Phriday.
“No, I’m not busy. I’d love to do something, just pick from the list I sent you. Surprise me, hm?”
“Will do.”
You were finally on your front welcome mat, and watched his face fall as he seemed to be drawing a blank about how else to prolong your night. But you had an idea.
You didn’t let an alarm or anything else possibly have the chance to interrupt you, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his mouth down to yours. He stumbled forward at you suddenly yanking him off-balance, catching himself with one hand on your front door and the other on your doorframe. Then, he dropped a hand to the small of your back, drawing you in even closer as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
Disconnected just enough to murmur against his lips, you asked, “Do you want to come in?”
“Please?” He replied with a nearly sheepish chuckle.
“So polite,” you quipped.
You gave him one more peck before turning around to unlock your door and drag him in by the arm.
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➠ sequel | series masterlist | blog masterlist
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milaisreading · 4 months
Text
5th times the charm?
Pairings: Itoshi Sae x Isagi's sister!Yn
Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open. This is just a small Valentine's Day idea I had, since the day is approaching us quickly.
⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️
Ever since he could remember, Yoichi thought of of his sister as someone who could be described as a hopeless romantic at heart. And while that was something he really admired in (Y/n), her faith in love and finding the right person, it also worried him. He loved his sister a lot, she was a kind and very caring person, so he always wanted the best for her. He mainly wanted her to have a good partner, since finding one was always one of her goals, but Yoichi noted one thing about her crush and dating history. And that was, (Y/n) always seemed to find assholes as love interests. While he doesn't remember much about (Y/n)'s pre-school and elementary school, he would sometimes hear his mom and her talk about those things in the kitchen, a random memory popping out here and there. Middle school and high school was something he does remember pretty vividly the two times she would come home crying. Sure, back then he didn't know much about these things and would try to cheer (Y/n) up, but now that he is older he is more aware of these things. That's why he took it upon himself to keep his teammates away from (Y/n). They were good football players and friends, don't get Yoichi wrong, but he couldn't imagine them with his sister.
Then, to his horror, when his career took of in Re Al, he was confronted with the harsh truth that Sae Itoshi of all people asked (Y/n) out, to which she ended up agreeing! Yoichi tried to keep his opinion at the time to himself, not wanting to offend Sae. But, once the siblings were left alone, he warned his sister about dating him.
'Don't worry. I am sure this time it will be different.' Yoichi recalled her words, and he just hopes she was right. And if she wasn't, an accidental kick of the ball into Sae's face will help him calm down.
Looking at the digital clock, (Y/n) yawned as she read the time.
"Already 23:30... and I am not even done decorating this. I shouldn't have waited till last minute." She muttered to herself, looking down at the homemade chocolate and at some of the decorative items she bought the day before. It was the night before Valentine's Day and (Y/n) was doing her absolute best for the chocolate to turn out as good as possible. She really wanted to impress Sae with it, but also see his reaction. It's something she would do ever since she was little. Her mom would tell her to always look at how a guy will react to the little gifts, and make her judgement based on that. And well, so far (Y/n) faced disappointment after disappointment.
'Eww. The card looks stupid, and pink isn't even my favorite color! I am a boy, are you stupid?!'
(Y/n) flinched as she remembered one of the first boys she liked rip her Valentine's Day card into two and throw it at her. That was disappointment #1.
'I don't like this chocolate brand. Next time get me something else.' Safe to say she never looked at disappointment #2 again. Why were elementary school boys so into brand named chocolate? (Y/n) hummed as she mixed some blue and green into the white chocolate.
'The chocolate tastes nice, I didn't know you could cook or whatever. But, you aren't my type, thanks for the chocolate, tho.' Disappointment #3 came up in middle school. (Y/n) wasn't sure why she cried that day, possibly because he was the first guy she had a serious crush on? It was a mystery to her.
'I don't like girls like you. You are way too much of a high maintenance. And besides, I found someone else. She looks more like a football players girlfriend.' Disappointment #4 came along in her final year of high school. Oliver was someone she met by chance, he wasn't her classmate or anything. Just a boy she met at a local café she met and secretly dated for a while. (Y/n) knew je was someone who liked women, a lot, but she held out hope that he might change for her. Well, she came to realize that the hope was foolish.
(Y/n) bit back her tears as she put the chocolate into the fridge, her heart pounding in fear.
'Please, please be different.' She thought, praying that the 5th time will do the trick.
Now, Sae wasn't a romantic person and never really saw the appeal in relationships or acting all lovesick for another person. In his mind football and practice were the only things that should occupy him... until he became one of those lovesick individuals. Although he tried to hide it, and failed according to Rin and Yoichi, Sae was completely in love with the older Isagi sibling. Always being more gentle and mindful of his words around (Y/n), and doing his best to show off his skills in front of her when she would watch a Re Al match. So, to nobody's surprise, Sae spent 2 weeks preparing a gift for Valentine's Day for (Y/n), something Rin wouldn't let him live down if he found out.
'Hope she likes this.' Sae thought as he finished wrapping up the plush toy he found. It was a limited edition item he saw (Y/n) eyeing for a while, so he had to be fast and get it before it was sold out.
The next day, the two met up in a nearby park to exchange the gifts and go for a stroll through Madrid later.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" The two said at the same time, presenting their gifts in front of each other.
"Huh? You got me a gift as well?" (Y/n) raised an eyebrow as her heartbeat quickened, earning a nod from Sae.
"Of course."
"But, White day is-"
"I don't care. I will get you a gift for Valentine's Day and White Day." Sae shrugged as (Y/n)'s face turned red.
"You... you shouldn't do that." She argued, but the redhead shook his head to her words.
"No. I want to."
"O-oh..." (Y/n) felt like her heart was about to explode as she handed Sae the chocolate. Neatly wrapped in a pink and white package with a few heart stickers here and there. Sae kept quiet as he inspected the box after handing (Y/n) the gift he got her. The girl felt her heart sink for a moment when he didn't say anything, already fearing the worst.
'The colors are probably wrong-' Her thoughts got interrupted as she saw Sae smile softly and unwrapped the gift.
'He... He doesn't mind the colors?!' She gulped, hugging the gift closer to her form, watching as he took a bite from the chocolate.
"It's not much and not a brand-named item, but I hope you like it." (Y/n) said timidly as Sae raised an eyebrow.
"I don't care. This chocolate is better than any store bought I ever had. Can you make more when you have time?" Sae wondered, eating more as (Y/n) eyes widened in surprise.
"Y-you like it?! You want me to make more?" She asked, face getting redder as her heart was close to burst out of her chest.
"Of course. You made it. Why wouldn't I like it? I love it, actually." Sae smiled at the girl. There was a silence for a moment and (Y/n) felt a few tears escape her eyes, which caused Sae to panic and move closer to see what the issue was.
"Are you alright? I am sorry. Did I say something wrong?-"
"I love you." (Y/n) sobbed out, hugging Sae tightly. The player was taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered and hugged her back as a small smile was formed on his face.
"Love you, too."
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dailyadventureprompts · 2 months
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DM Tip: Creating a Campaign Skeleton
Learning to be a better dungeonmaster was a protracted process. A younger me was often so stressed out by the desire to be a better artist that I'd have legitimately mauled a person if it would've revealed to me the wisdom I sought (with my hands or even an actual maul given the chance).
One of my biggest hurdles was the idea of a universal framework for d&d adventures, a guideline that would tell me if the things I was creating were on the right track. It was sorely needed, I loved the process of being creative but without an understanding of how my creative energy was best used I ended up sinking days, weeks, or even months worth of energy into projects that went nowhere. Worse yet, when I DID get a chance to put my ideas into practice at the table they'd frequently spiral out of control and crash, resulting in even more stress.
Over time I learned from these mistakes, I got better, and then I got good. I moved from conscious incompetence to competence, and I ended up having a run of absolutely stellar campaigns that were everything my younger self could have dreamed of: stable, enjoyable, meaningful, and most importantly an absolute delight to my players. Routinely I'd have people, including folks that'd only played with me a few times, mention that getting together to roll dice and listen to me babel on in silly voices was a highlight of their week.
It was as one of these campaigns began to wind down (three years! a satisfying conclusion on the horizon!) and I started looking for a followup scenario that I decided to study all my really successful campaigns and figure out what connected them. The end result was something I'd been looking for for nearly a decade, a reliable format that I could build campaigns around.
I want to preface this section with the understanding that while this information is laid out in a vaguely chronological fashion there's no guarantee that these ideas will occur to you in any particular order. Inspiration is a funny thing, and each idea flows into the others to make a cohesive whole. Due to foreshadowing and setup reasons you're also going to need a pretty solid idea about all of these when starting a campaign, though exact details will likely change/ can be vague up until the moment they're needed.
The Reason: Who are we and what are we doing?
Gives your players a solid background to build their characters around and give them a reason to travel together, rather than having to ad lib one on the spot. Likewise sets expectations of what the campaign is "about" that you can build on or subvert in time. The reason doesn't need to hold true for the entire game, just long enough to serve as a framing device. EG: The Witcher starts out as a "monster of the week" setup and then uses that framework to pivot into politics and prophecy once we've seen the premise play out.
The Pilot/Crashtest Adventure: What's first?
I’ve already written about these, but the general concept is to give your party a mostly contained first outing that doesn’t have any larger bearing on the plot so they can focus on learning how their characters play/building the party dynamic.  By the time the party's finished this first adventure they'll have already started putting down roots in the world: they'll have in jokes, npcs they've started to care about, an understanding of what's on the horizon, and an idea of where they want to go next.
The Central Gameplay Pillar: How does this all work?
It's important to have an idea what your campaign is going to be about in a mechanical sense in addition to its plot and themes. There is a difference between an adventure that has the party delve a dungeon, and a dungeoncrawling focused campaign. I like to lead with these outright during the campaign pitch so that players can know what they're getting into. Your playgroup will likely have strong opinions about what they like and dislike, even if they don't have the words to describe it, so you might need to explain the ideas for them.
The Hub: Where are we?
I think every good campaign has a hub, some kind of settlement that the party returns to between adventures to offload loot, pick up supplies, and sift through the latest gossip to look for the next questhook. Letting the party return to the same place lets them build up a relationship with it, clarifying the picture in their mind as new details are added and they grow more and more attached. It's possible to have multiple hubs over the course of a campaign, but I'd advise really only having one per arc to best concentrate your efforts. Fill up your hub with distractions and side adventures, shorter stories that the party can get tangled up in while the larger adventure slowly reveals itself. Returning to the same hub also means returning to a familiar and expanding cast of NPCs, which helps your party become more and more invested in the setting
The Main Event: What's going to happen?
Here we get to the meat of the issue, the big story you want to be telling using this campaign. To pull off the sick narrative kickflip you wish to perform, you're going to need to lay a lot of groundwork, seeding in details left and right as well as giving the party a chance to stumble across evidence of your schemes without ever realizing the whole thing. To do this, you're going to work in the building blocks of your big reveal/twist/pending disaster into the setting along with those side adventures from the hub. This will give your party an idea that something is going on, but with more pressing matters to take care of they're going to be distracted up until the moment you decide to pull the trigger.
The Setting: What's over there?
While things like genre and tone are definitely things you should have a handle on from the outset, I personally feel like the details of a setting are best constructed on an ad hoc basis, either in a direct response to something required by part of the narrative (be it side story or main event), or pencilled in at the margins as the party explores the world.. That said, creation of the hub and setting often go hand in hand because it's important to match the settlement to the environment and then shape the environment to the quests inside the settlement. As for what's beyond your hub, I happen to have just written something about building out settings.
Now, this next option is one that I recommend you start thinking about only once your campaign is fully underway, so it doesn't clog up your creative process by focusing on something that you might not even get to
The Change: What the fuck?
A little while after the main event has kicked off and your party is off on the quest that will turn them from mere adventurers into heroes, they start to hear rumours of strange happenings. It's certainly not related to the present scenario, it may even be an unexpected windfall, but it's not something they have time to look into. Time ticks on, the land is saved, and the party is able to enjoy their victory lap as well as some dearly needed time off. Before they can get comfortable however they're slammed by some strange occurrence that they could have never predicted that changes the state of the world. A neighbouring kingdom invades, an important ally is murdered and they're blamed for it, a dragon starts rampaging through the realm. Its important that this event is outside the party's skillset, not necessarily diametrically opposed, but counter to what they were planning
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pennylanefics · 1 month
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New Job - Jeremy Swayman
a/n: hello! this is my first time writing for hockey, so please be aware :) i am a baseball girlie through and through but thanks to tiktok i now have a new obsession and new crushes, which means new motivation to write :D
summary: refer to this request
word count: ~2.6k
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A new city, a new team, and a new opportunity. It was all so exciting, but that also came with stepping out of your comfort zone.
With your new position as a photographer for the Boston Bruins, you were being introduced to everyone on the team, every manager, every coach, a ton of people. However, you were a very shy person, preferring to keep to yourself most of the time; it’s why photography was perfect for you.
But it was all part of the job, to get to know the people you are photographing and allow them to trust you and feel comfortable around you, enough for them to smile for the camera and not ignore you. And you would be absolutely crazy if you turned this offer down, sports photography is your dream, and to be able to live it every day was wonderful.
This whole process was a regular occurrence for you, as you had bounced around a few teams, so it was nothing out of the ordinary, but things felt different this time around. When it was time to finally meet the team before practice one day, you sat near the entrance where players come in, with the other photographer who was “training” you, in a sense, and showing you around the arena and such.
Everyone was very nice and friendly, asking where you came from, how long you’ve been doing this, getting to know you a little bit better, it was great. But when Jeremy Swayman walked in, everything lit up. He was on his own, a black backpack on his back, a beanie covering his hair, but he had a huge smile on his face.
“Hello, hello!!” He begins to walk you and Cindy, the other photographer by your side. “You must be new.” He stops in front of you and reaches his hand out.
“I’m (Y/N), I’m the new additional photographer for the team,” you introduce yourself, shaking his hand. Both of you pause as your hands meet, taking notice of how warm and soft his skin is, gazing into his eyes as you do.
“I’m Jeremy, it’s nice to meet you. So you’ll be the one following us around with a phone and asking us questions as we walk into practice?” He teases, nudging your arm gently, feeling comfortable doing so.
“Uh, no, not exactly,” you chuckle, looking down at your camera. “I’ll be the one up in the rafters taking aeiral shots and be on the sidelines during games,.” His eyes widen in surprise as you describe part of your duties.
“Are you serious? That’s sick.” Since no one else was coming in right now, you took a moment to show him some of your popular photos with other teams, one of which being a shot from above after the Florida Panthers beat the Carolina Hurricanes, sending them to the Stanley Cup, confetti falling all around the rink, the team crowding together to celebrate.
“Wait, I saw this photo! The NHL posted it in like a photo dump they did of that week’s games. This is yours?”
“Yeah, all mine,” your face heats up a little at how excited he is. There was no denying it, Jeremy is a very handsome man, and you had to admit, when you got into photographing hockey, he was one of the first players that you had a small crush on.
“Well, you’re incredibly talented,” he compliments, sending you a wink while beginning to walk away. “See you around, (Y/N)!” He threw up a piece sign and was off to the locker room to get ready for practice.
“Jeremy’s the sunshine of the team, literally,” Cindy finally says, the last few players finally coming through the doors, both of you pausing to snap some candids.
“He is?”
“He always has a smile on his face and is almost always in a good mood. So if you need cheering up, he’s the one to go to.”
“Isn’t that unprofessional, though?”
“Not here. I’ve been with this team for years, they do things a little differently. They enjoy getting to know the media and those that work around them, becoming work friends and such. But if that’s uncomfortable for you, feel free to tell them, or me. I’ll put a stop to it.”
“No, no, it’s alright. It’s nice that they treat photographers and others not within the actual team like human beings,” a chuckle escapes you, deciding that keeping your mouth shut regarding how a team you previously worked for outside of the NHL was like.
Your first game went quite well, the Bruins ended up winning against the Colorado Avalanche, giving you the perfect opportunity to capture the iconic goalie hug between Jeremy and Linus. With your camera lined up, Jeremy comes into view and skates right to Linus, you snap photo after photo, not taking your finger off the shutter button.
After they skate off the ice, you smile to yourself, knowing you got some good ones. Finding Cindy in all the chaos of fans cheering and trying to leave, she guides you down the tunnel and back to the makeshift office that’s usually set up for the media.
She goes through all the steps of how to upload the photos for the editors, and even though all of it was pretty similar to other teams, it was nice having a refresher and getting to know their way of doing things. She describes the process of what is expected after games, setting everything up that you would need, and making sure you had everything and were ready to go for their next game in a couple days.
As time goes by, you start to get the hang of things with your new team. Everything was going smoother than you expected, you were quickly finding your place here, and it was all working out so well.
One night, after a rather tough loss to the Leafs, you sat in the media room, scrolling through the photos you took throughout the game, exhaustion setting in, the long day finally catching up with you. Suddenly, a soft knock sounds, your body turning around on instinct to find the source.
There stands Jeremy, a smile on his face, clean and dressed in his post-game clothes.
“How’d the photos come out?” 
He made a small habit of doing this. On his way out of the stadium after games, he would make a stop by your office, saying hi and asking if he could see some photos. You would always tell him that the raw photos aren’t going to be the best and there would be a ton to look through every time, but he didn’t care.
He claims to enjoy your company and the peace and quiet of the office after such intense games. But you were your normal self, not very talkative, doing your job as you would if he was not beside you, and oftentimes forgetting that he was even there.
“So, what’s your postgame routine? What do you like to do once you get home?” Jeremy asks as you pack your things up, carefully placing your camera in its protective bag. After shutting your laptop down, you slide it into the case, and then the case into your backpack.
“I sometimes get food on the way home, or I head straight home, shower, get ready for bed, and  then read or scroll on social media, depending on what I’m in the mood for,” you explain softly, gathering all of your things, wanting to head home.
“What kind of books do you like?” He was wanting to make conversation, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you were far too burnt out from running around the arena, especially since you’ve been here since early in the morning.
“Mainly romance and fantasy,” you grin. Jeremy doesn’t seem deterred by your short response, but he can tell, just by your body language, that you’d like to get going.
“That’s a nice way to escape the world after days like this. Well, I’ll see you around, have a nice night,” he smiles and waves at you as he exits the room, leaving you on your own.
That’s how things continued for every game. You ended up telling Cindy one day, and she couldn’t help but laugh; since you were with the media team, you got to room together at hotels for away games. The team was in Seattle to play the Kraken, and since it was a late game, you didn’t need to be at the arena until closer to four.
That’s how the two of you ended up sharing experiences you’ve had with the team and specific players, and Cindy lands on none other than the brunette goalie.
“Sway has actually told me that he’s been sitting with you while you browse through the photos after games,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows in a teasing manner. Your face heats up at her statement, and you hide your face in your hands.
“He, uh, he does. I told him it’s nothing special, but he insists it’s a nice way to decompress.”
“He told me that you’re quiet,” she says. You freeze and stare at her. Immediately, her eyes widen and she feels embarrassed. “Oh! No, no, I didn’t mean to make it sound like he said it in a bad way. But he…okay, don’t tell him I told you this, but he thinks it’s sweet. I promise. And, it is pretty cute.”
“What is?” You wonder. Your heart was racing with all of this, you didn’t think Jeremy thought of you in that way, but here you were.
“You know, the sunshine, golden retriever boyfriend and the black cat girlfriend. You’re grumpy, he’s sunshine.”
“I’m not grumpy,” you defend, crossing your arms. “Just…quiet.”
“Exactly. Jer really enjoys being with you, from what he’s told me. And he said you even let him edit some photos?” You chuckle softly and look down at your hands that relaxed in your lap.
“I let him edit some of him and Linus for fun. I didn’t send them off to the actual editors or social media team, I promise, it was a little-”
“I think you should,” she cuts you off, her eyes lighting up. “That would be such a neat idea, if we let the players edit photos of themselves and send them to the admins for their socials!” She starts going on and on about the idea and how it would be such a fun concept, if the players even want to participate.
“We’ll have to ask either during arrivals or on the plane tomorrow if they’d be up for it.”
She continues on, but your mind was on Jeremy, he thought you were charming and sweet, and that’s all you cared about.
After the game ends in another loss, right on time, Jeremy steps into your little makeshift office, and you were more than prepared for him this time.
“Am I allowed to see these shots tonight? Or should I wait until they’re posted in an article?” He wonders. You chuckle quietly and shake your head. He had mentioned to you the last time that he reads articles here and there just for the off chance that your photos are included. And you couldn’t ignore the flutter in your heart when he told you this.
“I got a pretty good one of you making a save in the first period,” you say, turning your laptop towards him to show him. His left leg was stretched out just as the puck makes contact with the padding, blocking it and shoving it away.
“Shit, who knew I’d look so good making saves,” he jokes, running a hand over his slightly damp hair, having showered already.
You laugh with him and turn the laptop back, remembering what you and Cindy talked about earlier in the day.
“I think I already know your answer for this, but Cindy and I were talking and she thinks it would be fun to get you and the guys to maybe edit some photos, like you did, but they would actually be posted. With credits for the editing, of course,” you tease. Just like Cindy, his eyes light up in amazement.
“Hell yes!” He immediately responds, scooting closer to you to look at any more photos he could edit. “Can I do like five? Because one was not enough, I wanna do more.” You can’t help but smile at his eagerness, allowing him to scroll through some of the better photos you’ve taken the past few games.
“You can do as many as you’d like but I can’t promise they’d all get posted. If you want to ask the guys if they’d be interested, I’ll have one person come in here after every game and edit, and then we’ll have a collection in a few weeks to post.”
“Uh, I think it would be a good idea, but…” he starts, but pauses his train of thought, his hand coming up to tug at his lip as he silently decides if he should continue.
“But…what?” You push, hoping he would just speak his mind.
“I like this being our thing,” he murmurs, shy, almost. He doesn’t meet your eyes, and this is a different side of Jeremy you haven’t seen before.
“What?” You are very lost with what he’s trying to say, but you give him time to explain himself.
“I like having this time with you, after games. It’s become a routine for me, something I look forward to, and I really love being in your presence, especially after tough games that end in losses. It’s like you reading fantasy books, it takes you out of reality, and for a time, I can forget that I took part in a loss for my team and take my mind away from it.”
“By looking at photos of said game?” You counteract. But Jeremy sees your point. How can he be taken away from a game his team lost when he’s actively looking at photos of them losing from the entire night?
“By…being around you,” he whispers, looking up at you. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire at this point. Was he being serious? “Spending time with you, everything else disappears. And I know that sounds cheesy and we don’t fully know each other aside from talking about your work and such, but, if you are up for it, I’d like to take you out on a real date.”
Now you were beyond confused, but thoroughly surprised in a good way. And by your reaction, or lack thereof, he must have assumed you weren’t interested, because he immediately deflects.
“Or, if you prefer we keep things professional, that’s totally okay. I understand you work for the team and it would complicate things, but-”
“I’d love to go on a date with you, Sway,” you reply, a small smile stretching on your face. He slowly grins and leans closer to you.
“Really?” He asks in disbelief.
“Yeah. I think you’re a very wonderful guy and I’d love to get to know you outside of this…informal and professional setting, let’s put it that way,” you laugh, turning towards him to let him know you were serious.
“Good. Because I think you’re very cute and I need more than these after-game meetings,” he replies, a bright smile on his face as well.
“So are you going to be upset if I ask the other guys to come in here and do the same, to edit photos?” You wonder, your voice dripping with a teasing tone. Jeremy laughs softly and leans over and kisses your cheek.
“As long as none of the meetings end the way this one did tonight, I’ll be alright.”
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bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
saturday, reclamation— game day
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⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included.
⋆˙⟡ read all possible endings here!
⋆˙⟡ wc: 7k (idk ur welcome)
⋆˙⟡ reader: femme afab (listed first, she/her are used) // gender neutral (alternate version listed second, no pronouns used at all to describe reader— scroll down)
⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.
⋆˙⟡ saturday summary: nearly every student is gathered for your university's big soccer match against your rival school. you're hoping to steer clear of the boys you've had such strange (and steamy) encounters with this week. i think you can guess by now that fate is not on your side. or is it?
⋆˙⟡ warnings: explicit smut. 18+. minors do not interact. please read specific smut warnings under the cut! swearing. angst. bullying. when you're done, proceed to the endings :)
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EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: okay here we go. clitoral stimulation, g-spot stimulation, lots of penetrative p-in-v sex, oral (male receiving), mild cum play, mostly dom/soft dom boys but also subby!matthew for fun, this is a CONSENSUAL gang bang. and all raw penetration whoops.
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
“enjoy the game! fighting!”
the words leave your mouth for the five hundredth time this evening as you hand out yet another set of programs. you give each attendee your most authentic smile as you greet them at the north entrance. 
“we’re at almost four hundred at the south entrance,” mina’s voice rings through the walkie-talkie on the table in front of you. it’s no surprise how well-attended tonight’s game is— everyone was invested in the long-held rivalry between your university and the opposing school. it had been a few years since your university’s soccer team had won this match-up. you wondered if they would tonight...
perhaps hanbin being made team captain this year would be the missing link to victory.
“hi! enjoy the game— fighting!” you exclaim once more. speaking of hanbin, he’d been right about one thing. tea with honey had repaired your voice perfectly. you’d even remembered to brew chamomile tea instead of black, so that good night’s sleep you’d been desperately needing was finally gifted to you.
you called mina that morning. you didn’t tell her what had happened per se, but you told her about each of the boys pursuing you... and you conveniently left jiwoong out of the equation for her own sake.
“i need to figure out how to get all of them in the same room,” you said, sending the finalized program for the big game to the campus activities director to print. you’d actually managed to finish it early this morning after emailing it to your sunbaenims to promptly approve. “but i don’t know how i’d manage to do that.”
“the campus activities interviews!” mina shouts excitedly. “sunbaenim was looking for a volunteer to do it for him tonight. if i make sure he recruits the right players, you’ll have them all to yourself in the activities lounge.”
all to yourself? 
just how lucky could you be?
~
“and number 13 approaches the goal, weaving through the opposition,” the announcer calls as hanbin dribbles the ball across the field. two defensive players from the rival team close in on him. “and he seems to be caught in a defensive trap. number 25 comes up behind him on his right and number 12 is ahead of him on his left— will 13 be able to pass the ball successfully?”
you’re on the edge of your seat as hao waves at hanbin to signal he’s open. jiwoong’s making the same signal, but a bit more aggressively. personal issues with several members of the soccer team aside, you’re rooting for their win. it would mean a lot of positive attention and increased funding for your whole university to have the soccer team finally progress to the championship again.
you glance at the rest of the field. matthew’s in defense, the number 28 on his jersey shining in the flood lights as he blocks two rival offensive players all by himself. and, on the bench in his perfectly clean uniform sits taerae— number 14 kicking the grass with his cleats, not really paying attention to the riveting game going on in front of him.
“and 13 successfully passes to 25! 25 dodges a defensive player on his right, making a beeline for the goal,” the announcer continues, everyone in the stands beginning to stand up as the anticipation grows unbearable. 
the scoreboard reads: 1-1.
hao is shooting distance from the goal, but he can’t seem to shake a couple defense players on his heels. there’s no way he’ll be able to make the goal like this. he looks at jiwoong, who is also preoccupied with defensive players of his own. it seems like all hope is lost until...
“number 13 sprints out ahead— a clear path between him and 25! 25 passes quickly to 13...”
hanbin’s cleat touches the ball, steadying himself for less than a second before he squares up and takes the shot.
the ball flies through the air. though it’s certainly going at least 70 miles per hour, it feels like you’re watching it in slow motion. mina grabs your hand, anxiety overflowing from every direction.
swish.
the ball flies over the goalie’s hands and into the netting behind him. the crowd erupts into cheers as the timeclock buzzer signals the end of the game.
hanbin stands in shock as the rest of his teammates rush toward him, engulfing him in their celebration. he’s lifted onto someone’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear in pure joy and relief in a way you haven’t seen since you first met him. it’s a nice sight, if you’re being honest.
“i’m ready when you are,” mina says, squeezing your hand. “just fill me in after on how the revenge goes.”
“will do,” you say, making your way down the stairs of the stands. “just remember it’s what you asked for!”
the phrase sends a chill down your spine as you remember taerae’s thumb pressed to your tongue. you shake your head to snap out of it. there’s no time for hesitation.
you watch patiently as the celebration continues on the field. coach yang’s practically crying with pride. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him display an emotion other than boredom and annoyance before. camera now slung around your neck, you watch as the many attendees file out of the bleachers and out the exits. 
the players shake hands cordially with the other team, one of the rival defense players starting to give matthew a hard time— undoubtedly for being pig-headed and brash during the game. you’re sure he deserves a little roughing up, but you need him in good condition.
after the excitement finally dies down, the campus activities president makes his way over to you with a smirking mina at his side. “ready to get some good portraits of the players?”
you nod happily. more than ready.
“thanks for volunteering to do this for me. i’ve gotta be at the senior leadership conference way too early tomorrow morning,” your sunbaenim says as he and mina head out onto the field. “you can head to the activities lounge now and set up. mina will escort them right over!”
mina grins at you over her shoulder before you exit the soccer field and head towards kang hall. the warm night air calms you as you walk through the doors and make your way down the empty hallway, stopping when you finally reach the activities lounge. several desks, a few office chairs and a small sofa litter the room.
this could work.
you grab the stack of interview consent forms out of the filing cabinet to your right before setting up the photo wall and camera at the back of the room. if, by chance, a few extra players are sent in, you’ll just have to get them out of the way first.
buzz buzz.
you check your phone to see a message from mina.
i’m sorry, coach yang made me take jiwoong, too. BLEGH. something about him being the left forward and “crucial to the game” or whatever. like, whatever helps him sleep at night, i guess. anyway, they’ll be there in a minute.
a minute. you can do this.
“two red flags!? it wasn’t even my fault. that guy was being a total dick,” you hear a muffled voice through the door. “so what i grabbed him by the collar? he should have a stronger windpipe if he can’t handle a little bit of good-natured choking!”
“it was the waterboy,” hao replies with a sigh. “you choked our waterboy.”
the door cracks open.
“he was in my way,” matthew says with a huff.
“he was trying to give you water,” taerae says quietly. 
“you guys never fucking support me,” matthew grumbles, the door flying open as he takes a step inside the lounge. his lips part at the sight of you as the other boys push him through.
soon you’re met with five pairs of wide eyes, all staring back at you from where you sit on top of a desk in the middle of the room— clipboard resting on your knees.
you smile at them, clicking your pen eerily. “welcome! and congratulations on your fantastic win. please line up across from me.”
after a few moments of uneasy silence, hanbin is the first to make his way to the middle of the room. he stands a few feet away from you, the rest of the boys walking over and creating a neat, horizontal line.
“you didn’t hear the stuff about the waterboy, did you?” matthew asks, pressing his lips together awkwardly.
“i absolutely did,” you answer shortly. “i also watched it happen. and the purposeful cleat to the nuts of that other player.”
“that other player being me,” hanbin says with a frown.
“oooh, tough luck,” you console, shaking your head. “they still work though, right?”
hanbin’s brow raises in surprise. to be able to catch him off-guard is literally thrilling.
“so, i assume you all know why we’re gathered here today,” you say, clicking your pen again.
“i’m guessing it’s not for a post-game interview,” jiwoong says, looking around the room.
you bite your cheek in a smile. “unfortunately, we do still have to do those. but first, i thought we’d start with an interview about a different game we all played this week.”
taerae’s brow raises immediately, turning to look at hanbin. “i thought you said she didn’t know about that!”
your face falls. “know about what?”
“she doesn’t. it was a play on words. she uses them in her poetry all the time and it was cute the first five times, but it’s actually becoming a bit redundant now if i do say so myself,” hanbin says, glaring at taerae. “but now you’ve gone and opened your gigantic mou—.”
“it was a game,” hao interjects flatly. “this week was all just a game to see who could fuck you first.”
leave it to hao to always cut the bullshit. and always cut deep.
you knew there had to be a reason why these boys that had bullied you for years suddenly all wanted a taste of you. this explanation did make the most sense.
“well, it wasn’t just a game,” jiwoong replies with a shrug. “it was a really good game.”
“yeah, i’d play again,” matthew says with a grin. “especially considering nobody won.”
you scoff.  “you literally lectured me for ten minutes about how you have no interest in fucking me, because i’m so tainted now.”
“yeah, i mean, definitely not how i prefer ‘em, but...” matthew smirks at taerae. “what was it you said yesterday? ‘a hole’s a hole’?”
taerae gulps as your eyes narrow at him in fury. “how—... how does he know you said that!?”
“hyung screen-recorded it,” matthew answers with an oblivious smile. “highest bidder got the file.”
“oh, so the game has mini-games now, too!?” you shout, staring daggers into hanbin. “do you have any moral decency left?”
“of course,” he answers, frowning as if he’s offended by the accusation. “if i didn’t, i would’ve just posted it. but i played it fair and took the 1,400 won.”
“YOU SOLD MY SEX TAPE FOR A DOLLAR!?”
“a dollar and five cents,” hanbin corrects with a smile.
“i forgot to bring my wallet to practice,” jiwoong says with a sorry shrug. “otherwise i would’ve bid at least two.”
“and i didn’t want it,” hao follows, absentmindedly examining his fingers. “i’m not depraved like the rest of them.”
you laugh incredulously. “oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who put 86,000 won tree sap up my—”
“but seriously, man, that was cold,” matthew interrupts, patting taerae on the back in praise. “didn’t know you were cool like that.”
“oh, well i—,” taerae starts, almost sounding like he’s about to deny it. but instead he just shrugs, meekly replying, “me neither.”
“that’s ‘cause he’s not,” you seethe. “how about you tell all of your cool, new friends how you sucked your thumb until sophomore year of—.”
“why don’t you pick a winner?” hanbin asks, smiling at you gently. “isn’t that even better than what we’d planned? you got to experience it all.”
your lips purse in contemplation. “like... pick who got the farthest?”
he shakes his head. “pick who you want to fuck you the most.”
“i see,” you hum after a moment. you scan the line of boys in their soccer uniforms and university apparel. each looks a different version of eager as they await your answer. but unfortunately, they’d all already fallen straight into your trap the moment they’d stepped in the activities lounge. 
you lean forward, pretending to size them all up.
“i’m sorry, but i don’t think i can do that,” you respond finally, hopping off of the desk. “you’ve all been nothing but awful to me this whole year. why would i ever pick one of you? do you think i fucking hate myself?”
the boys begin to give each other cautious glances. 
“don’t answer that,” you snap, setting your clipboard and pen down on the desk to your left.
matthew scratches the back of his neck, clarifying, “so… you’re not gonna pick?”
“no, i’m not gonna pick,” you assert, walking towards the door as your plan propels into motion. there’s a few disappointed sighs from the boys who’d made a game out of your body. it was demeaning. it was sadistic. 
it was… hot.
“why would i pick one of you,” you say as you lock the door, turning back around to face the gaggle of idiots hanging on your every word. “... when i can have all of you?”
“oh shit,” hao whispers, breaking the stunned silence filling the room. all of the other boys stare at you, jaws dropped.
“(y/n),” taerae pleadss quietly, eyes worried and sincere. “what are you saying? you don’t want that!”
“you don’t get to tell me what i want anymore,” you reply succinctly. you’re drinking it in, the feeling of being needed by five men at once. it fills you with a sense of power: the thing these same men tried to take away from you. it’s intoxicating. “and stop pretending like you still know me. you don’t. but...”
taerae’s left eyebrow raises ever-so-slightly as your thought hangs still-incomplete in the air.
“you could know me again,” you suggest softly, running the tip of your tongue across the back of your teeth. “and you could know me really well this time.”
your former best friend exhales, shaking his head weakly.
“you’re really gonna pass that up?” jiwoong asks, stepping forward indignantly as if he thinks taerae’s insane. “been waiting to get my hands back on you all week.”
“it sounds good to you then?” you reply, holding back a smile as jiwoong starts rolling up his jacket sleeves— a definitive nod in your direction. “is jiwoongie really the only taker?”
“fuck no,” matthew responds suddenly, any restraint he was previously demonstrating wiped away completely. “that’s what you want? i’m all in. let’s start now.”
hao hits his arm, hissing, “get it together.”
“why?” matt asks, folding his arms across his chest as he turns to face hao. “i wanna get my dick wet. so do you. so does everyone here. isn’t this the best solution?”
“yeah, isn’t it?” you ask, walking up to hao slowly. enough talking. it’s time for action. you close in on him, nearly chest-to-chest as you hold him with your gaze. you fight a smug grin as your hand gently tugs at the waistband of his joggers, “please... concertmaster?”
you’re thrown onto the desk behind you in seconds, hao’s long fingers wrapping around your jaw as his tongue slips down your throat. situating himself between your legs, your cores grow closer and closer together. he raises your arms, pulling your shirt over your head and dropping it on the floor in a careless ball.
“holy fucking—... this is really happening,” matthew mumbles as he takes a step closer, standing a few feet from your side so he can get a better view. though his brazenness isn’t so great for his teammates, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in this context. you don’t want to give into him just yet, though. you have plans for him.
you glance over at jiwoong, worried for the state of his bottom lip as he chews it anxiously. you pull back from hao, wrapping your hand around his forearm to keep him close to you and batting your eyelashes invitingly at the older boy.
he points to himself, brow raising happily when you nod in affirmation. he walks over to you, obviously trying to stay as suave and nonchalant as he possibly can. 
“you want hyung instead?” hao asks possessively, an undeniable pout on his lips at the thought of being discarded for someone better.
you squeeze his arm reassuringly, whispering in his ear, “he wants me.”
“so do i,” he replies, running his hand up your thigh. the unexpected display of jealousy from hao sends you reeling; another wave of arousal rushing to your heat as jiwoong closes the gap between you. “need something, hyung?”
“i was just watching you swap saliva, when i remembered how we didn’t kiss on monday,” jiwoong answers, eyes locked with yours. “i just think you might like the privilege of kissing me.”
“oh, you think that, do you?” you reply with a smirk. “well, if you’re that certain... i’m willing to hear you out.”
jiwoong smiles, placing a hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours sweetly. he pulls back, perhaps trying to gauge your reaction. 
“well that was a let down,” matthew mumbles from beside you, rolling his eyes. you notice that taerae’s also come closer, standing a bit farther back than him but watching intently. and concernedly.
jiwoong laughs, kissing you again— this time, leaving you breathless with how passionately and skillfully his lips move against yours. it might be the best kiss you’ve ever had. you moan softly against him as hao’s hand now grazes over your clothed core.
your hand moves from hao’s arm to his fingers, holding him there against you. he huffs a laugh as jiwoong pulls back, smirking at hao.
“it’s all about teamwork,” jiwoong jokes, hand making its way to the button on your shorts. he undoes it quickly, advancing toward the zipper next. “that’ll be my quote for the interview.”
“i’ll send it to print,” you reply as jiwoong reattaches his lips to yours. your zipper comes undone and two sets of hands pull your shorts down, matthew walking over to lift you slightly as they shimmy them off of you. he smiles at you— a kind one.
“can i kiss you, too?” he asks, boyish looks on full display. you’d love to indulge him when he’s playing nice like this. 
you shake your head. “not yet.”
matthew sighs dramatically, hand running through his hair as hao chuckles.
“be careful,” jiwoong warns with a smirk. “he can only take so much of that.”
“oh, shut up,” matthew huffs before resuming his content observation of you.
hao pulls your panties to the side easily— flimsy, lace material you picked out just for tonight. “were you expecting this to happen?”
jiwoong sighs at the sight. “fuck, baby. were you dreaming about this? hm?”
you whimper as jiwoong kisses up your neck and hao rubs lazy circles around your clit with his thumb. 
“she loves that,” jiwoong whispers against your skin, glancing at hao next to him. “heart’s already racing.”
“is that right, baby? this feel good?” hao asks, suddenly applying more pressure. you throw your head back at the escalation, leaning back farther on your hands— subconsciously asking for even more friction. “dripping for us, honey girl.”
“please,” you beg with a mewl. “wanna feel you inside me.”
“which one?” jiwoong asks, glancing at hao.
“don’t care,” you answer, shaking your head.
“really? no preference?” hao asks with a smirk. “then i guess i’ll just leave and you can—.”
you grab hao by his shirt collar, causing him to stumble into you. he smiles: clearly happy he’s been chosen. 
jiwoong steps aside as hao takes his place in between your legs, hands in the air as he accepts his temporary rejection like a man. unfortunately this makes you want him all the more and you reach out your hand for him to hold.
“demoted to hand-holder,” he jokes, shaking his head. luckily, he figures out something to occupy him quickly as he sticks two of your fingers in his mouth— sucking on them gently.
your attention turns back to hao, who grabs your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk. with your free hand, you reach for the waistband of his joggers— tugging at it until he finally indulges you and pulls them down along with his boxers. 
he stares at your pretty core, bottom lip catching in his teeth before lining himself up with your entrance. you take in the sight of his cock, somehow as elegant and refined as he is. hao’s hands latch around your hips again, fingers digging into the plush of your ass as he slowly pushes himself inside you.
the stretch is unbelievable— nothing like the tiny cake of rosin. you clench around him instinctively and hao hisses at the added pressure.
“relax, baby,” he whispers, touching his forehead to yours in an uncharacteristically sweet gesture. “everything’s okay. we’re just gonna make some more music, is all.”
you take a deep breath at his words, walls relaxing as you exhale. hao takes the opportunity to push himself further inside of you until he reaches the hilt. you sigh with satisfaction, more than happy to be this full.
hao pulls back, starting to slowly thrust in and out of you until he finds the perfect rhythm. “you feel fucking amazing.”
you smile as he moves his hands to your thighs, picking them up and deepening the angle as you wrap your left arm around his neck for support. a moan escapes you as the tip of him hits your cervix. 
“that’s it, honey,” he grunts, thrusts becoming sharper as he continues to hit your back-most wall. “sound so, so pretty like that.”
the pressure inside of you is becoming overwhelming. you need something to occupy you further as your high steadily approaches. you sit up slightly, kicking jiwoong lightly with your foot until he lets go of your hand. once it’s free, your fingers move to palm him through his shorts until matthew chuckles behind him.
“seems like she wants more than a hand to hold,” he observes with a smirk.
jiwoong’s brow raises reflexively in excitement. he nods at you in permission as you reach into his uniform shorts and pull out his cock. he exhales breathily as you explore him with your hand before wrapping your fist around it and beginning to pump.
his head lolls back at the teasing pace as you return your attention to hao, whose cheeks have flushed with his orgasm quickly approaching.
you push his hair from his forehead with your free hand, trying to savor how needy he looks in this moment. “gonna cum for me, haohao?”
“fuck, yes,” he breathes as his rhythm begins to falter. probably the only time in his life that hao’s ever been off the beat. “your thighs. wanna paint your pretty thighs again.”
you don’t need any more convincing. “let’s see it then.”
a few more shallow thrusts until hao pulls out of you, hand wrapping around his cock— cumming with a sweet moan as he drips onto your inner thighs. his lips part as he stares at the mess he’s made before sinking to his knees and licking every last drop from your skin.
“damn,” matthew whispers. “that’s hardcore.”
“so much better than the rosin,” hao remarks, standing up and kissing you before pulling his joggers up and taking a step back. 
a draft hits your impossibly wet cunt, glancing to your right for someone to fill the spot between your legs. matthew’s eyes widen eagerly, smiling at you far too politely in the hope of being picked. but you still weren’t done letting him simmer.
luckily, someone else’s cock is already in your hand.
jiwoong is gripping the desk beside you as you continue to lazily pump him, trying his best to maintain control as he stares at the ceiling. it’s actually kind of cute.
“jiwoong-ah,” you call softly, hand stopping its motion. he meets your gaze, clearing his throat when you smile at him. “want you to fuck me.”
“i thought you might say that,” jiwoong replies nonchalantly, his tone starkly contrasting the speed at which he moves to stand between your legs. “let’s change things up, shall we?”
he holds his hand out to you, helping you off the desk and then turning you around to face it. your stomach pressed up against the wooden desk, jiwoong runs his hands down your waist— cupping your ass with a firm squeeze when he reaches it.
“like it?” you ask, wiggling your ass slightly for him.
“i’ve seen better,” he says with a shrug, hands still kneading hungrily at your cheeks.
you look up over your shoulder, meeting his gaze. “well i’d love to hear any suggestions for improvement that you have when this is all over.”
jiwoong gulps, biting his lip as he spreads your legs with his hand. you step a little further apart, gasping when he suddenly shoves his cock inside of you. 
“you’re sure you’ve done this before?” jiwoong asks with a groan as he laboredly manages to push himself all the way in. “kinda tight in here.”
“seriously? it so doesn’t work like that. and do you really think i’d lose my virginity to any of you assholes?” you retort, glancing over your shoulder to find taerae staring quietly back at you. “but it seems like someone here wants to lose there’s to me.”
everyone looks at taerae, who is standing with his arms folded across his chest— painfully hard even through his grey joggers. he shakes his head weakly, “th-that’s not true.”
you motion him closer, watching as he takes cautious, shaky steps towards you. like you’re not the person who knows the most about him in this world. like you’re a monster in a haunted house.
when he’s finally in reach, you grab his shirt sleeve and pull him to your side. he stares at you with wide eyes before you raise your brow expectantly and instruct: “kiss me.”
“what!?” he exclaims, like you’ve asked him to kill you instead. like he didn’t just kiss you yesterday. like he hadn’t just fucked your throat in the middle of class until you couldn’t speak. “i—...”
tired of his nonsense, you kiss him instead as jiwoong coils an arm up your stomach— groping at your chest as he thrusts into you: fast, hungry, and desperate. taerae pulls back after a moment, blinking at you before diving in for more.
the head of jiwoong’s cock pounds against the spongy, soft spot in your front wall and you can’t help but moan into taerae’s mouth as your climax approaches. he breaks your kiss, lips parted as you stare directly at him— whimpering for release as your hand balls his shirt sleeve into a fist.
jiwoong pulls you toward him so that your back is flush against his chest. you look over your shoulder, his lips immediately attaching to yours as you whine against them.
“i really like it,” jiwoong rambles deliriously between kisses, grabbing your ass so hard you think the flesh might bruise. “sorry for lying, baby. it’s perfect. s’perfect. gonna cum all over it.”
“oh my god,” you cry as your orgasm hits you. jiwoong sighs, most likely relieved he doesn’t have to keep holding on himself. “woongie.”
“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, sucking and biting at your neck as his thrusts become erratic. “such a good girl, cumming all over my cock.”
when your walls finally stop spasming around him, jiwoong pulls out of you— cumming with a weak sigh all over the top of your ass. just as he promised.
“good?” he asks, giving your ass one last smack before backing away.
you nod happily, the hot liquid starting to drip down onto your cheeks. “good.”
someone begins to blot at jiwoong’s cum with a piece of fabric and you turn over your shoulder to see who it is.
“you’re so fucking hot right now,” matthew compliments, cheeks noticeably redder than before as he wipes up the mess with his jersey. maybe you’re being too harsh in testing his patience. “you have no idea. or maybe you do, i dunno.”
you shift your body to face him, pressing your lips to his. he responds almost instantly, attempting to deepen the kiss when you pull away. “i’m gonna deal with this one first, actually,” you say, hand gripping taerae’s shirt sleeve a little tighter.
at your denial, matthew swallows hard— the metaphorical gloves starting to come off. “i think i’ve been waiting pretty patiently.”
“you have, honey,” you coo patronizingly, running your free hand through his hair. “do you think you can be patient for a little while longer?”
he inhales sharply at the soft language, pupils dilating as he unconsciously gives away his enjoyment of this tone. you wink, causing matthew to step back with an angry huff out of your reach. “whatever,” he reluctantly agrees before sulking over to a chair in the corner.
“he’s gonna explode,” hao mutters under his breath to jiwoong.
you turn to your right, eyes meeting taerae’s. he’s chewing his lip nervously and you’re not really sure what the right approach is. you take his hand and lead him over to the couch— lying down on your back and spreading your legs, gesturing for him to lie down in between them. after a long moment, he does.
you stare at his joggers until he gets the hint to pull them down, hard cock hitting his lower abdomen as he releases it. he stares at it, inches from your pussy before looking back up at you in disbelief.
“don’t get too worked up,” you tease, reaching your hand through your legs and wrapping it around his cock. you align it with your entrance as taerae’s chest falls closer to yours. “don’t you wanna last longer than you did yesterday?”
the tips of his ears burn at what seems to be a new mortally embarrassing core memory for him. “shut up.”
“taerae-ya,” you call, eyes meeting his again. you hope he can see how genuine you are as you ask, “do you really wanna do this?”
once more, his eyes are a whirlpool of conflict. you think he might even say no... until he suddenly shoves himself inside of you with one quick thrust.
“oh my fucking god,” he moans, harmonizing with your cry at the abrupt fullness. “oh my god.”
you wrap your legs around him to ensure he doesn’t try to bite off more than he can chew in this moment. “if you cum right now, i swear to whatever god you’re name-dropping, tae...”
“i won’t, i won’t,” he assures raspily, but the way his face is screwed up in pleasure leaves you unconvinced. 
“wouldn’t have to be giving that warning to me,” matthew mumbles saltily from the corner. “just saying.”
“damn, i never thought i’d watch someone i wasn’t fucking lose their virginity,” jiwoong comments with fascination. “was i this pathetic?”
“probably,” hao replies matter-of-factly. “you were pretty pathetic just now, too.”
“not. a. virgin,” taerae asserts, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. you moan at the sensation, an audible queue for him to continue at that intensity. his motion is surprisingly fluid. you were positive he’d been lying about having lost his virginity, but now you weren’t so sure.
the brutal pace at which he’s bucking into you, however, is leaving you a bit dumb. it’s like he’s fucking the thoughts out of you. maybe it’s intentional. maybe it’s because you can’t stop whining for more.
“fuck, you’ve got her begging,” jiwoong says, tongue already licking his lips again as he watches your tits bounce with each thrust. “not bad, kid.”
matthew sighs exasperatedly in the corner. you know what he’s thinking: he could do better.
taerae shakes his head softly, biting his lip as he tries his best to keep going. “i—... fuck, you feel so good. don’t wanna stop, but...”
“you need to cum?” you finish for him.
he nods frantically. “but i can’t yet, i... have to last longer, like you want me to...”
your hand rushes to the back of his neck, toying with the hairs at the nape. he mewls, clearly seconds from busting inside of you. “i was just kidding with you, tae. you did so good. you can cum now.”
his forehead falls to your chest with relief. “thank fuck, oh my god. where? where do you want me to—?”
“tits,” you interject your answer, grabbing his hands in yours and putting them on your breasts. “want you to cum on my tits.”
taerae pulls out so fast, you’re afraid he’ll get whiplash— pumping his cock over your pretty chest and cumming with a throaty moan. “fuck. holy fuck.”
you look around the room as taerae sits up, having been so preoccupied with all these boys that you hadn’t realized that one of them had been virtually absent this whole time. you’re puzzled as you spot hanbin sitting pensively on a desk toward the front of the room— quietly watching you get fucked by all his friends. 
you stand up from the couch, hao grabbing your arm for stability until you can walk on your shaky legs— gently brushing past the rest of the boys and walking over to the star of the soccer team.
he smiles at you, one brow piquing in interest as his eyes trail down to the cum dripping down your chest. “to what do i owe the honor of your undivided attention?”
something clicks for you now as you stand in front of him. “it was your idea, wasn’t it? the competition?”
hanbin doesn’t answer, he just tilts his head.
“and if it was your idea, doesn’t it mean that you wanted to win?” you ask, hand finding his bare thigh— inching dangerously closer towards his clothed bulge. “you wanted to fuck me? wanted a more literal way to get under my skin?”
“i just told you the little play on word thing was getting a bit old, didn’t—.”
he stops abruptly as you begin to palm him gently through the fabric of his shorts. he exhales breathily at the feeling, but doesn’t give you any more than that. 
instead, he replies softly, “think you got me all figured out then?”
“mm,” you affirm, applying a bit more pressure. he places his hand over yours to keep you there, but he doesn’t make another sound. “think you’re fucked in the head.”
“what’s taking so long?” matthew asks impatiently, far too close to losing his temper.
“this is my game now. you already played yours,” you say, slipping your hand out from underneath hanbin’s. again, he doesn’t protest, but the way his eyes are shining lets you know he doesn’t want to lose your attention just yet. you take the bottom of his jersey and wipe taerae’s cum off your skin to assert your dominance. “they all want to play by the rules. but you don’t. so you’ll have to wait here, i guess. watch all your friends ruin me, when it was your idea in the first place.”
you head back over to the other boys, walking over to matthew and immediately straddling him in his chair. “didn’t i tell you to be patient?”
“wanna fuck you so bad,” matthew growls, hands digging hungrily at your waist. you grind down on him in a warning. he moans softly. “i mean, under the circumstances, i think i did a pretty good job.”
“yeah? you think?” you ask, your condescending tone and another harsh grind against him causing him to whimper. “so i should give you what you want, then?”
there’s a flash of hope in his eyes. you start to lean in to kiss him when you’re suddenly thrown from matthew’s lap and manhandled to the carpeted floor. hanbin hovers between your legs, hands kneading into your thighs.
“hey,” he says with a grin.
you grin back. “hey.”
“sorry about that,” he apologizes, pulling his shorts down and gently tapping at your entrance with the head of his cock. “but you were right. and i didn’t wanna be last.”
“and where the fuck is my apology, huh!?” matthew yells, standing up in a fury. “we were clearly in the middle of something.”
“well, now we’re in the middle of something,” hanbin replies, pushing himself inside of you with a shrug. you whimper at the stretch, fist balling up the neckline of hanbin’s jersey. “so deal with it.”
“you always do this!” matthew shouts and you’re nearly positive he’s about to punch his hyung, when hao and jiwoong stand up and force him into a chair between them. jiwoong rubs his back comfortingly, attempting to calm him down for the time being. 
“look at you,” hanbin says with a smirk— long, slow strokes into you that effectively drive you insane. “he’d throw hands just to get a moment with you. s’gotta make you feel pretty good, right?”
you nod as his hips continue to roll into yours, languid and teasing. you moan when his thumb finds your clit, circling it gently as he begins to increase the pace of his thrusts.
“yeah? well it makes me feel fucking awful,” he confesses, hips snapping into you harshly. you cry out, second orgasm building rapidly as you try to pay attention to hanbin’s words. “thought i was throwing you to the wolves, not a handful of potential suitors.”
you’re not quite sure what he’s trying to say, brain focused on only one thing right now. 
“gonna cum for me, baby?” he asks with a smirk, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead. you nod frantically in response, fingers digging into his upperarm as he brings you to the edge. “go on, then— let everyone know who made you feel this good.”
he’s expecting you to scream his name. instead, when your climax hits, you pull hanbin down to you by his collar— pressing your lips to his and moaning against them as your walls flutter around his cock. your action surprises him, eyes wide until he finally responds. deepening the kiss, his thrusts suddenly grow passionate and tender as he works you through your high.
hanbin moves his hand from your clit, bringing it up to your face and running his thumb across your cheek. coming up for air, he whispers, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”
“you’ve called me ugly to my face almost every thursday for a year,” you reply, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to bring him even closer still. 
“it’s your fault, you... i—,” hanbin stutters, his thrusts grow haphazard as you feel his cock start to twitch inside you. “fuck, i’m gonna—.”
“how about you cum on my face then?” you suggest, tugging at hanbin’s hair— nails scratching at his scalp gently. “at least you won’t have to look at it if you cover it up.”
“that’s not—... m’not gonna...,” he protests before pulling out of you and climbing up to straddle your chest. hanbin pumps his cock in front of your face. “open your mouth.”
you prop yourself up on your elbows, opening your mouth for him and sticking out your tongue. with a throaty moan, he cums on your tongue— pumping out every last salty drop. you swallow it down, opening wide and showing hanbin that you’d done it. 
“fuck,” hanbin marvels before kissing you warmly. “i can’t believe you.”
“happy with the vulture you made?” you ask with a smirk.
he shakes his head. “not a vulture. a bird of fucking paradise.”
you’re about to tell him that a bird of paradise is a flower, not an actual species of bird, but hanbin stands up too quickly and returns to his seat on top of the corner desk— rubbing his forehead with his hands as if he’s upset by something. unfortunately, you don’t have any more time to dwell on him. you have one last boy to deal with.
you sit up on your knees, eyes locking with matthew before he abruptly turns away in the ultimate display of pettiness. seems like you were more than right about how he’d be in a situation like this. you crawl over to him seductively, placing your hands on his knees as you kneel in front of him.
“look at me, baby,” you plead in a soft voice, running your hands up and down his thighs. “wanna play with you.”
he sighs sadly. “do you? it kinda seems like you wanna play with everyone else more.”
“this kid,” jiwoong remarks with a chuckle. “weren’t you the one that said this was a great idea?”
“i didn’t think i’d have to wait so long to get a turn,” matthew sulks, eyes finally meeting yours again. you must look particularly enticing all fucked up like this, as a growl deep in his throat sounds at the sight of you. “waited so patiently.”
“you almost took a swing at hanbinnie, honey,” you remind him, reaching for the waistband of his shorts and pulling it down until matthew’s angry, thick cock is in your view. “how would you have explained his black eye to everyone at the championship game? hm?”
matthew whimpers as you wrap both hands around his length, popping the tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. “they w-wouldn’t be surprised.”
taerae snorts in response before returning to his silent observation from the couch.
you take him further into your mouth, sucking lazily as matthew breathes harder. when he’s nice and lubricated, you pull off of him and stand up— straddling him again like you had before hanbin interrupted you. this time, you lower yourself onto his impossibly hard cock with a satisfied sigh.
you start to fuck yourself on him, slow until you can find the right rhythm. there’s uncharacteristic silence coming from the boy beneath you.
“do you really want me the least?” matthew asks as your eyes meet, the adorable pout on his lips driving you crazy. 
you shake your head softly. “of course not, baby. but you’ve gotta be good. boys who choke waterboys have to be punished.”
matthew tilts his head innocently. “i didn’t mean to do that.”
you grab a fistful of hair at the back of his neck, yanking tightly. “don’t fucking lie to me.”
“holy shit,” jiwoong whispers.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” matthew whines quickly until your grip loosens. “i... i did sort of mean to do that.”
“i know, baby,” you reply, the pace of your bouncing growing quicker. “that’s why you had to go last this time.”
“this time?” hao and matthew ask at the same time.
you shrug. “so if you behave, you can go first next time.”
“next time?” jiwoong and taerae repeat.
matthew nods eagerly. “i can do that. i promise!”
“yeah?” you reply, promptly stopping your motion as you sink down onto him fully. “you promise to be a good boy?”
at the same time you ask the question, you squeeze his cock with your walls. 
“yes, mommy,” matthew cries, head lolling backward to expose his jugular to you. a stunned hush falls over the room. taerae’s jaw drops.
you glance behind you, three pairs of saucer-shaped eyes staring back at you. an impressed hao nods, holding out his hand for you to shake in respect. you do.
“wait, wait—... no, i—...” the boy underneath you pleads. “i didn’t—... that’s not what—.”
you squeeze your walls around him again, a strangled moan falling from his lips as he resumes his submissive state. “d’you want me to keep milking your cock or not, baby?”
“please,” he answers quickly, taking your hand and placing it gently at the base of his neck. “feels so good. want you to milk me dry.”
you oblige, thrilled to get exactly what you wanted out of him. you squeeze him tighter and tighter inside of you, grinding your hips softly against him— massaging softly up his neck with your hand until he’s begging for release.
“gonna cum,” matthew whines, hands moving down your waist before finally situating on your ass. “please, let me cum. (y/n). can’t take it anymore! gonna cum inside you if you don’t—.”
you hop off of him quickly, watching as his cock falls to his lower abdomen— cum covering his own skin as he sighs defeatedly through the ruined pleasure. his head falls to his hands, contemplating his life and where he went wrong.
“fuck, that was hot,” jiwoong says. you glance over, both him and hao now hard again in their joggers.
you smile, entirely satisfied with how this turned out. you try to take a step back toward the desk, but your legs aren’t as steady as you thought. taerae stands up from the couch, running to keep you on your feet. jiwoong and hao both get up after him, helping you up onto the desk with concerned expressions.
“are you okay?” taerae asks, bending down to the floor and grabbing your shirt. he hands it to you and you put it on with what little strength you have left. 
jiwoong walks over to his bag, grabbing a water bottle from the side pocket and bringing it back to you. he pops open the top and places it in your hand. “you need to drink, okay? we don’t need you passing out and us all getting questioned at a hospital.”
you nod, taking a sip from the water bottle. hao grabs a tissue from the box on the corner desk, walking over to you and dabbing your forehead gently.
this is bliss, you think. but... how does it all end?
CHOOSE YOUR ENDING ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
click above or here to choose from one of seven endings <3 jiwoong, hao, matthew, hanbin, taerae, group, and revenge
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
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gender neutral version below
EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: heavy petting (reader and male receiving), penetrative sex (reader receiving), mild cum play, oral (male receiving), mostly dom/soft!dom boys but also subby!matthew, this is a CONSENSUAL gang bang, also all raw penetration whoops. language surrounding reader's genitals and penetration is vague to keep things as inclusive as possible. a couple mentions of reader's body being gorgeous, pretty, other aesthetic compliments but no gendered language.
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
“enjoy the game! fighting!”
the words leave your mouth for the five hundredth time this evening as you hand out yet another set of programs. you give each attendee your most authentic smile as you greet them at the north entrance. 
“we’re at almost four hundred at the south entrance,” mina’s voice rings through the walkie-talkie on the table in front of you. it’s no surprise how well-attended tonight’s game is— everyone was invested in the long-held rivalry between your university and the opposing school. it had been a few years since your university’s soccer team had won this match-up. you wondered if they would tonight...
perhaps hanbin being made team captain this year would be the missing link to victory.
“hi! enjoy the game— fighting!” you exclaim once more. speaking of hanbin, he’d been right about one thing. tea with honey had repaired your voice perfectly. you’d even remembered to brew chamomile tea instead of black, so that good night’s sleep you’d been desperately needing was finally gifted to you.
you called mina that morning. you didn’t tell her what had happened per se, but you told her about each of the boys pursuing you... and you conveniently left jiwoong out of the equation for her own sake.
“i need to figure out how to get all of them in the same room,” you said, sending the finalized program for the big game to the campus activities director to print. you’d actually managed to finish it early this morning after emailing it to your sunbaenims to promptly approve. “but i don’t know how i’d manage to do that.”
“the campus activities interviews!” mina shouts excitedly. “sunbaenim was looking for a volunteer to do it for him tonight. if i make sure he recruits the right players, you’ll have them all to yourself in the activities lounge.”
all to yourself? 
just how lucky could you be?
~
“and number 13 approaches the goal, weaving through the opposition,” the announcer calls as hanbin dribbles the ball across the field. two defensive players from the rival team close in on him. “and he seems to be caught in a defensive trap. number 25 comes up behind him on his right and number 12 is on his left— will 13 be able to pass the ball successfully?”
you’re on the edge of your seat as hao waves at hanbin to signal he’s open. jiwoong’s making the same signal, but a bit more aggressively. personal issues with several members of the soccer team aside, you’re rooting for their win. it would mean a lot of positive attention and increased funding for your whole university to have the soccer team finally progress to the championship again.
you glance at the rest of the field. matthew’s in defense, the number 28 on his jersey shining in the flood lights as he blocks two rival offensive players all by himself. and, on the bench in his perfectly clean uniform sits taerae— number 14 kicking the grass with his cleats, not really paying attention to the riveting game going on in front of him.
“and 13 successfully passes to 25! 25 dodges a defensive player on his right, making a beeline for the goal,” the announcer continues, everyone in the stands beginning to rise to their feet as the anticipation grows unbearable. 
the scoreboard reads: 1-1.
hao is shooting distance from the goal, but he can’t seem to shake a couple defense players on his heels. there’s no way he’ll be able to make the goal like this. he looks at jiwoong, who is also preoccupied with defensive players of his own. it seems like all hope is lost until...
“number 13 sprints out ahead— a clear path between him and 25! 25 passes quickly to 13...”
hanbin’s cleat touches the ball, steadying himself for less than a second before he squares up and takes the shot.
the ball flies through the air. though it’s certainly going at least 70 miles per hour, it feels like you’re watching it in slow motion. mina grabs your hand, anxiety overflowing from every direction.
swish.
the ball flies over the goalie’s hands and into the netting behind him. the crowd erupts into cheers as the timeclock buzzer signals the end of the game.
hanbin stands in shock as the rest of his teammates rush toward him, engulfing him in their celebration. he’s lifted onto someone’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear in pure joy and relief in a way you haven’t seen since you first met him. it’s a nice sight, if you’re being honest.
“i’m ready when you are,” mina says, squeezing your hand. “just fill me in after on how the revenge goes.”
“will do,” you say, making your way down the stairs of the stands. “just remember it’s what you asked for!”
the phrase sends a chill down your spine as you remember taerae’s thumb pressed to your tongue. you shake your head to snap out of it. there’s no time for hesitation.
you watch patiently as the celebration continues on the field. coach yang’s practically crying with pride. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him display an emotion other than boredom and annoyance before. camera now slung around your neck, you watch as the many attendees file out of the bleachers and out the exits. 
the players shake hands cordially with the other team, one of the rival defense players starting to give matthew a hard time— undoubtedly for being pig-headed and brash during the game. you’re sure he deserves a little roughing up, but you need him in good condition.
after the excitement finally dies down, the campus activities president makes his way over to you with a smirking mina at his side. “ready to get some good portraits of the players?”
you nod happily. more than ready.
“thanks for volunteering to do this for me. i’ve gotta be at the senior leadership conference way too early tomorrow morning,” your sunbaenim says as he and mina head out onto the field. “you can head to the activities lounge now and set up. mina will escort them right over!”
mina grins at you over her shoulder before you exit the soccer field and head towards kang hall. the warm night air calms you as you walk through the doors and make your way down the empty hallway, stopping when you finally reach the activities lounge. several desks, a few office chairs, and a small sofa litter the room.
this could work.
you grab the stack of interview consent forms out of the filing cabinet to your right before setting up the photo wall and camera at the back of the room. if, by chance, a few extra players are sent in, you’ll just have to get them out of the way first.
buzz buzz.
you check your phone to see a message from mina.
i’m sorry, coach yang made me take jiwoong, too. BLEGH. something about him being the left forward and “crucial to the game” or whatever. like, whatever helps him sleep at night, i guess. anyway, they’ll be there in a minute.
a minute. you can do this.
“two red flags!? it wasn’t even my fault. that guy was being a total dick,” you hear a muffled voice through the door. “so what i grabbed him by the collar? he should have a stronger windpipe if he can’t handle a little bit of good-natured choking!”
“it was the waterboy,” hao replies with a sigh. “you choked our waterboy.”
the door cracks open.
“he was in my way,” matthew says with a huff.
“he was trying to give you water,” taerae says quietly. 
“you guys never fucking support me,” matthew grumbles, the door flying open as he takes a step inside the lounge. his lips part at the sight of you as the other boys push him through.
soon you’re met with five pairs of wide eyes, all staring back at you from where you sit on top of a desk in the middle of the room— clipboard resting on your knees.
you smile at them, clicking your pen eerily. “welcome! and congratulations on your fantastic win. please line up across from me.”
after a few moments of uneasy silence, hanbin is the first to make his way to the middle of the room. he stands a few feet away from you, the rest of the boys walking over and creating a neat, horizontal line.
“you didn’t hear the stuff about the waterboy, did you?” matthew asks, pressing his lips together awkwardly.
“i absolutely did,” you answer shortly. “i also watched it happen. and the purposeful cleat to the nuts of that other player.”
“that other player being me,” hanbin says with a frown.
“oooh, tough luck,” you console, shaking your head. “they still work though, right?”
hanbin’s brow raises in surprise. to be able to catch him off-guard is literally thrilling.
“so, i assume you all know why we’re gathered here today,” you say, clicking your pen again.
“i’m guessing it’s not for a post-game interview,” jiwoong says, looking around the room.
you bite your cheek in a smile. “unfortunately, we do still have to do those. but first, i thought we’d start with an interview about a different game we all played this week.”
taerae’s brow raises immediately, turning to look at hanbin. “i thought you said (y/n) didn’t know about that!”
your face falls. “know about what?”
“i believe it was a play on words. (y/n)’s poetry, recently, has been littered with them. it was cute the first five times, but it’s actually becoming a bit redundant now if i do say so myself,” hanbin says, glaring at taerae. “but now you’ve gone and opened your gigantic mou—.”
“it was a game,” hao interjects flatly. “this week was all just a game to see who could fuck you first.”
leave it to hao to always cut the bullshit. and always cut deep.
you knew there had to be a reason why these boys that had bullied you for years suddenly all wanted a taste of you. this explanation did make the most sense.
“well, it wasn’t just a game,” jiwoong replies with a shrug. “it was a really good game.”
“yeah, i’d play again,” matthew says with a grin. “especially considering nobody won.”
you scoff.  “you literally lectured me for ten minutes about how you have no interest in fucking me, because i’m so tainted now.”
“yeah, i mean, definitely not how i prefer ‘em, but...” matthew smirks at taerae. “what was it you said yesterday? ‘a hole’s a hole’?”
taerae gulps as your eyes narrow at him in fury. “how—... how does he know you said that!?”
“hyung screen-recorded it,” matthew answers with an oblivious smile. “highest bidder got the file.”
“oh, so the game has mini-games now, too!?” you shout, staring daggers into hanbin. “do you have any moral decency left?”
“of course,” he answers, frowning as if he’s offended by the accusation. “if i didn’t, i would’ve just posted it. but i played it fair and took the 1,400 won.”
“YOU SOLD MY SEX TAPE FOR A DOLLAR!?”
“a dollar and five cents,” hanbin corrects with a smile.
“i forgot to bring my wallet to practice,” jiwoong says with a sorry shrug. “otherwise i would’ve bid at least two.”
“and i didn’t want it,” hao follows, absentmindedly examining his fingers. “i’m not depraved like the rest of them.”
you laugh incredulously. “oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who covered 86,000 won tree sap with my—”
“but seriously, man, that was cold,” matthew interrupts, patting taerae on the back in praise. “didn’t know you were cool like that.”
“oh, well i—,” taerae starts, almost sounding like he’s about to deny it. but instead he just shrugs, meekly replying, “me neither.”
“that’s ‘cause he’s not,” you seethe. “how about you tell all of your cool, new friends how you sucked your thumb until sophomore year of—.”
“why don’t you pick a winner?” hanbin asks, smiling at you gently. “isn’t that even better than what we’d planned? you got to experience it all.”
your lips purse in contemplation. “like... pick who got the farthest?”
he shakes his head. “pick who you want to fuck you the most.”
“i see,” you hum after a moment. you scan the line of boys in their soccer uniforms and university apparel. each looks a different version of eager as they await your answer. but unfortunately, they’d all already fallen straight into your trap the moment they’d stepped in the activities lounge. 
you lean forward, pretending to size them all up.
“i’m sorry, but i don’t think i can do that,” you respond finally, hopping off of the desk. “you’ve all been nothing but awful to me this whole year. why would i ever pick one of you? do you think i fucking hate myself?”
the boys begin to give each other cautious glances. 
“don’t answer that,” you snap, setting your clipboard and pen down on the desk to your left.
matthew scratches the back of his neck, clarifying, “so… you’re not gonna pick?”
“no, i’m not gonna pick,” you assert, walking towards the door as your plan propels into motion. there’s a few disappointed sighs from the boys who’d made a game out of your body. it was demeaning. it was sadistic. 
it was… hot.
“why would i pick one of you,” you say as you lock the door, turning back around to face the gaggle of idiots hanging on your every word. “... when i can have all of you?”
“oh shit,” hao whispers, breaking the stunned silence filling the room. all of the other boys stare at you, jaws dropped.
“(y/n),” taerae pleads quietly, eyes worried and sincere. “what are you saying? you don’t want that!”
“you don’t get to tell me what i want anymore,” you reply succinctly. you’re drinking it in, the feeling of being needed by five men at once. it fills you with a sense of power: the thing these same men tried to take away from you. it’s intoxicating. “and stop pretending like you still know me. you don’t. but...”
taerae’s left eyebrow raises ever-so-slightly as your thought hangs still-incomplete in the air.
“you could know me again,” you suggest softly, running the tip of your tongue across the back of your teeth. “and you could know me really well this time.”
your former best friend exhales, shaking his head weakly.
“you’re really gonna pass that up?” jiwoong asks, stepping forward indignantly as if he thinks taerae’s insane. “been waiting to get my hands back on you all week.”
“it sounds good to you then?” you reply, holding back a smile as jiwoong starts rolling up his jacket sleeves— a definitive nod in your direction. “is jiwoongie really the only taker?”
“fuck no,” matthew responds suddenly, any restraint he was previously demonstrating wiped away completely. “that’s what you want? i’m all in. let’s start now.”
hao hits his arm, hissing, “get it together.”
“why?” matt asks, folding his arms across his chest as he turns to face hao. “i wanna get my dick wet. so do you. so does everyone here. isn’t this the best solution?”
“yeah, isn’t it?” you ask, walking up to hao slowly. enough talking. it’s time for action. you close in on him, nearly chest-to-chest as you hold him with your gaze. you fight a smug grin as your hand gently tugs at the waistband of his joggers, “please... concertmaster?”
you’re thrown onto the desk behind you in seconds, hao’s long fingers wrapping around your jaw as his tongue slips down your throat. situating himself between your legs, your cores grow closer and closer together. he raises your arms, pulling your shirt over your head and dropping it on the floor in a careless ball.
“holy fucking—... this is really happening,” matthew mumbles as he takes a step closer, standing a few feet from your side so he can get a better view. though his brazenness isn’t so great for his teammates, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in this context. you don’t want to give into him just yet, though. you have plans for him.
you glance over at jiwoong, worried for the state of his bottom lip as he chews it anxiously. you pull back from hao, wrapping your hand around his forearm to keep him close to you and batting your eyelashes invitingly at the older boy.
he points to himself, brow raising happily when you nod in affirmation. he walks over to you, obviously trying to stay as suave and nonchalant as he possibly can. 
“you want hyung instead?” hao asks possessively, an undeniable pout on his lips at the thought of being discarded for someone better.
you squeeze his arm reassuringly, whispering in his ear, “he wants me.”
“so do i,” he replies, running his hand up your thigh. the unexpected display of jealousy from hao sends you reeling; another wave of arousal rushing to your heat as jiwoong closes the gap between you. “need something, hyung?”
“i was just watching you swap saliva, when i remembered how we didn’t kiss on monday,” jiwoong answers, eyes locked with yours. “i just think you might like the privilege of kissing me.”
“oh, you think that, do you?” you reply with a smirk. “well, if you’re that certain... i’m willing to hear you out.”
jiwoong smiles, placing a hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours sweetly. he pulls back, perhaps trying to gauge your reaction. 
“well that was a let down,” matthew mumbles from beside you, rolling his eyes. you notice that taerae’s also come closer, standing a bit farther back than him but watching intently. and concernedly.
jiwoong laughs, kissing you again— this time, leaving you breathless with how passionately and skillfully his lips move against yours. it might be the best kiss you’ve ever had. you moan softly against him as hao’s hand now grazes over your clothed core.
your hand moves from hao’s arm to his fingers, holding him there against you. he huffs a laugh as jiwoong pulls back, smirking at hao.
“it’s all about teamwork,” jiwoong jokes, hand making its way to the button on your shorts. he undoes it quickly, advancing toward the zipper next. “that’ll be my quote for the interview.”
“i’ll send it to print,” you reply as jiwoong reattaches his lips to yours. your zipper comes undone and two sets of hands pull your shorts down, matthew walking over to lift you slightly as they shimmy them off of you. he smiles at you— a kind one.
“can i kiss you, too?” he asks, boyish looks on full display. you’d love to indulge him when he’s playing nice like this. 
you shake your head. “not yet.”
matthew sighs dramatically, hand running through his hair as hao chuckles.
“be careful,” jiwoong warns with a smirk. “he can only take so much of that.”
“oh, shut up,” matthew huffs before resuming his content observation of you.
hao bites his lip when he realizes you weren’t wearing any underwear. “were you expecting this to happen?”
jiwoong sighs at the sight. “fuck, baby. were you dreaming about this? hm?”
you whimper as jiwoong kisses up your neck and hao begins to lazily stroke you where you need him most.
“you love that, don’t you?” jiwoong whispers against your skin, glancing at hao next to him. “heart’s already racing.”
“is that right, baby? this feel good?” hao asks, suddenly applying more pressure. you throw your head back at the escalation, leaning back farther on your hands— subconsciously asking for even more friction.
“please,” you beg with a mewl. “wanna feel you inside me.”
“which one?” jiwoong asks, glancing at hao.
“don’t care,” you answer, shaking your head.
“really? no preference?” hao asks with a smirk. “then i guess i’ll just leave and you can—.”
you grab hao by his shirt collar, causing him to stumble into you. he smiles: clearly happy he’s been chosen. 
jiwoong steps aside as hao takes his place in between your legs, hands in the air as he accepts his temporary rejection like a man. unfortunately this makes you want him all the more and you reach out your hand for him to hold.
“demoted to hand-holder,” he jokes, shaking his head. luckily, he figures out something to occupy him quickly as he sticks two of your fingers in his mouth— sucking on them gently.
your attention turns back to hao, who grabs your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk and leaning you back so that you’re fully exposed to him. with your free hand, you reach for the waistband of his joggers— tugging at it until he finally indulges you and pulls them down along with his boxers. 
he stares at your opening, bottom lip catching in his teeth before lining himself up with your entrance. you take in the sight of his cock, somehow as elegant and refined as he is. hao’s hands latch around your hips again, fingers digging into the plush of your ass as he slowly pushes himself inside you.
the stretch is unbelievable and you clench around him instinctively, causing him to hiss at the added pressure.
“relax, baby,” he whispers, running his hands up and down your thighs to calm you in an uncharacteristically sweet gesture. “everything’s okay. we’re just gonna make some more music, is all.”
you take a deep breath at his words, walls relaxing as you exhale. hao takes the opportunity to push himself further inside of you until he reaches the hilt. you sigh with satisfaction, more than happy to be this full.
hao pulls back, starting to slowly thrust in and out of you until he finds the perfect rhythm. “you feel fucking amazing.”
you’re unable to contain the pretty sounds that have been building up inside you as he fucks you even deeper.
“that’s it, honey,” he grunts, thrusts becoming sharper as he continues to hit your back-most wall. “sound so, so pretty like that.”
the pressure inside of you is becoming overwhelming. you need something to occupy you further as your high steadily builds. you sit up slightly, kicking jiwoong lightly with your foot until he lets go of your hand. once it’s free, your fingers move to palm him through his shorts until matthew chuckles behind him.
“seems like you want more than a hand to hold,” he observes with a smirk.
jiwoong’s brow raises reflexively in excitement. he nods at you in permission as you reach into his uniform shorts and pull out his cock. he exhales breathily as you explore him with your hand before wrapping your fist around it and beginning to pump.
his head lolls back at the teasing pace as you return your attention to hao, whose cheeks have flushed with his orgasm quickly approaching.
you push his hair from his forehead with your free hand, trying to savor how needy he looks in this moment. “gonna cum for me, haohao?”
“fuck, yes,” he breathes as his rhythm begins to falter. probably the only time in his life that hao’s ever been off the beat. “your thighs. wanna paint your perfect thighs again.”
you don’t need any more convincing. “let’s see it then.”
a few more shallow thrusts until hao pulls out of you, hand wrapping around his cock— cumming with a sweet moan as he drips onto your inner thighs. his lips part as he stares at the mess he’s made before sinking to his knees and licking every last drop from your skin.
“damn,” matthew whispers. “that’s hardcore.”
“so much better than the rosin,” hao remarks, standing up and kissing you before pulling his joggers up and taking a step back. 
a draft hits your aching heat, glancing to your right for someone to fill the spot between your legs. matthew’s eyes widen eagerly, smiling at you far too politely in the hope of being picked. but you still weren’t done letting him simmer.
luckily, someone else’s cock is already in your hand.
jiwoong is gripping the desk beside you as you continue to lazily pump him, trying his best to maintain control as he stares at the ceiling. it’s actually kind of cute.
“jiwoong-ah,” you call softly, hand stopping its motion. he meets your gaze, clearing his throat when you smile at him. “want you to fuck me.”
“i thought you might say that,” jiwoong replies nonchalantly, his tone starkly contrasting the speed at which he moves to stand between your legs. “let’s change things up, shall we?”
he holds his hand out to you, helping you off the desk and then turning you around to face it. your stomach pressed up against the wooden desk, jiwoong runs his hands down your waist— cupping your ass with a firm squeeze when he reaches it.
“like it?” you ask, wiggling your ass slightly for him.
“i’ve seen better,” he says with a shrug, hands still kneading hungrily at your cheeks.
you look up over your shoulder, meeting his gaze. “well i’d love to hear any suggestions for improvement that you have when this is all over.”
jiwoong gulps, biting his lip as he spreads your legs with his hand. you step a little further apart, gasping when he suddenly shoves his cock inside of you. 
“you’re sure you’ve done this before?” jiwoong asks with a groan as he laboredly manages to push himself all the way in. “kinda tight in here.”
“seriously? do you really think i’d lose my virginity to any of you assholes?” you retort, glancing over your shoulder to find taerae staring quietly back at you. “but it seems like someone here wants to lose there’s to me.”
everyone looks at taerae, who is standing with his arms folded across his chest— painfully hard even through his grey joggers. he shakes his head weakly, “th-that’s not true.”
you motion him closer, watching as he takes cautious, shaky steps towards you. like you’re not the person who knows the most about him in this world. like you’re a monster in a haunted house.
when he’s finally in reach, you grab his shirt sleeve and pull him to your side. he stares at you with wide eyes before you raise your brow expectantly and instruct: “kiss me.”
“what!?” he exclaims, like you’ve asked him to kill you instead. like he didn’t just kiss you yesterday. like he hadn’t just fucked your throat in the middle of class until you couldn’t speak. “i—...”
tired of his nonsense, you kiss him instead as jiwoong coils an arm up your stomach— groping at your chest as he thrusts into you: fast, hungry, and desperate. taerae pulls back after a moment, blinking at you before diving in for more.
the head of jiwoong’s cock pounds into your sweet spot and you can’t help but moan into taerae’s mouth as your climax approaches. he breaks your kiss, lips parted as you stare directly at him— whimpering for release as your hand balls his shirt sleeve into a fist.
jiwoong pulls you toward him so that your back is flush against his chest. you look over your shoulder, his lips immediately attaching to yours as you whine against them.
“i really like it,” jiwoong rambles deliriously between kisses, grabbing your ass so hard you think the flesh might bruise. “sorry for lying, baby. it’s perfect. s’perfect. gonna cum all over it.”
“oh my god,” you cry as your orgasm hits you. jiwoong sighs, most likely relieved he doesn’t have to keep holding on himself. “woongie.”
“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, sucking and biting at your neck as his thrusts become erratic. “so good for me, cumming all over my cock.”
when you come down, jiwoong pulls out of you— cumming with a weak sigh all over the top of your ass. just as he promised.
“good?” he asks, giving your ass one last smack before backing away.
you nod happily, the hot liquid starting to drip down onto your cheeks. “good.”
someone begins to blot at jiwoong’s cum with a piece of fabric and you turn over your shoulder to see who it is.
“you’re so fucking hot right now,” matthew compliments, cheeks noticeably redder than before as he wipes up the mess with his jersey. maybe you’re being too harsh in testing his patience. “you have no idea. or maybe you do, i dunno.”
you shift your body to face him, pressing your lips to his. he responds almost instantly, attempting to deepen the kiss when you pull away. “i’m gonna deal with this one first, actually,” you say, hand gripping taerae’s shirt sleeve a little tighter.
at your denial, matthew swallows hard— the metaphorical gloves starting to come off. “i think i’ve been waiting pretty patiently.”
“you have, honey,” you coo patronizingly, running your free hand through his hair. “do you think you can be patient for a little while longer?”
he inhales sharply at the soft language, pupils dilating as he unconsciously gives away his enjoyment of this tone. you wink, causing matthew to step back with an angry huff out of your reach. “whatever,” he reluctantly agrees before sulking over to a chair in the corner.
“he’s gonna explode,” hao mutters under his breath to jiwoong.
you turn to your right, eyes meeting taerae’s. he’s chewing his lip nervously and you’re not really sure what the right approach is. you take his hand and lead him over to the couch— lying down on your back and spreading your legs, gesturing for him to lie down in between them. after a long moment, he does.
you stare at his joggers until he gets the hint to pull them down, hard cock hitting his lower abdomen as he releases it. he stares at it, inches from your core before looking back up at you in disbelief.
“don’t get too worked up,” you tease, reaching your hand through your legs and wrapping it around his cock. you align it with your entrance as taerae’s chest falls closer to yours. “don’t you wanna last longer than you did yesterday?”
the tips of his ears burn at what seems to be a new mortally embarrassing core memory for him. “shut up.”
“taerae-ya,” you call, eyes meeting his again. you hope he can see how genuine you are as you ask, “do you really wanna do this?”
once more, his eyes are a whirlpool of conflict. you think he might even say no... until he suddenly shoves himself inside of you with one quick thrust.
“oh my fucking god,” he moans, harmonizing with your cry at the abrupt fullness. “oh my god.”
you wrap your legs around him to ensure he doesn’t try to bite off more than he can chew in this moment. “if you cum right now, i swear to whatever god you’re name-dropping, tae...”
“i won’t, i won’t,” he assures raspily, but the way his face is screwed up in pleasure leaves you unconvinced. 
“wouldn’t have to be giving that warning to me,” matthew mumbles saltily from the corner. “just saying.”
“damn, i never thought i’d watch someone i wasn’t fucking lose their virginity,” jiwoong comments with fascination. “was i this pathetic?”
“probably,” hao replies matter-of-factly. “you were pretty pathetic just now, too.”
“not. a. virgin,” taerae asserts, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. you moan at the sensation, an audible queue for him to continue at that intensity. his motion is surprisingly fluid. you were positive he’d been lying about having lost his virginity, but now you weren’t so sure.
the brutal pace at which he’s bucking into you, however, is leaving you a bit dumb. it’s like he’s fucking the thoughts out of you. maybe it’s intentional. maybe it’s because you can’t stop whining for more.
“fuck, you’ve got (y/n) begging,” jiwoong says, tongue already licking his lips again as he watches your body bounce with each thrust. “not bad, kid.”
matthew sighs exasperatedly in the corner. you know what he’s thinking: he could do better.
taerae shakes his head softly, biting his lip as he tries his best to keep going. “i—... fuck, you feel so good. don’t wanna stop, but...”
“you need to cum?” you finish for him.
he nods frantically. “but i can’t yet, i... have to last longer, like you want me to...”
your hand rushes to the back of his neck, toying with the hairs at the nape. he mewls, clearly seconds from busting inside of you. “i was just kidding with you, tae. you did so good. you can cum now.”
his forehead falls to your chest with relief. “thank fuck, oh my god. where? where do you want me to—?”
“stomach,” you interject your answer, grabbing his hands in yours and putting them on your breasts. “want you to cum on my stomach.”
taerae pulls out so fast, you’re afraid he’ll get whiplash— pumping his cock over your stomach and cumming with a breathy moan. “fuck. holy fuck.”
you look around the room as taerae sits up, having been so preoccupied with all these boys that you hadn’t realized that one of them had been virtually absent this whole time. you’re puzzled as you spot hanbin sitting pensively on a desk toward the front of the room— quietly watching you get fucked by all his friends. 
you stand up from the couch, hao grabbing your arm for stability until you can walk on your shaky legs— gently brushing past the rest of the boys and walking over to the star of the soccer team.
he smiles at you, one brow piquing in interest as his eyes trail down to the cum dripping down your stomach. “to what do i owe the honor of your undivided attention?”
something clicks for you now as you stand in front of him. “it was your idea, wasn’t it? the competition?”
hanbin doesn’t answer, he just tilts his head.
“and if it was your idea, doesn’t it mean that you wanted to win?” you ask, hand finding his bare thigh— inching dangerously closer towards his clothed bulge. “you wanted to fuck me? wanted a more literal way to get under my skin?”
“i just told you the little play on word thing was getting a bit old, didn’t—.”
he stops abruptly as you begin to palm him gently through the fabric of his shorts. he exhales breathily at the feeling, but doesn’t give you any more than that. 
instead, he replies softly, “think you got me all figured out then?”
“mm,” you affirm, applying a bit more pressure. he places his hand over yours to keep you there, but he doesn’t make another sound. “think you’re fucked in the head.”
“what’s taking so long?” matthew asks impatiently, far too close to losing his temper.
“this is my game now. you already played yours,” you say, slipping your hand out from underneath hanbin’s. again, he doesn’t protest, but the way his eyes are shining lets you know he doesn’t want to lose your attention just yet. you take the bottom of his jersey and wipe taerae’s cum off your skin to assert your dominance. “they all want to play by the rules. but you don’t. so you’ll have to wait here, i guess. watch all your friends ruin me, when it was your idea in the first place.”
you head back over to the other boys, walking over to matthew and immediately straddling him in his chair. “didn’t i tell you to be patient?”
“wanna fuck you so bad,” matthew growls, hands digging hungrily at your waist. you grind down on him in a warning. he moans softly. “i mean, under the circumstances, i think i did a pretty good job.”
“yeah? you think?” you ask, your condescending tone and another harsh grind against him causing him to whimper. “so i should give you what you want, then?”
there’s a flash of hope in his eyes. you start to lean in to kiss him when you’re suddenly thrown from matthew’s lap and manhandled to the carpeted floor. hanbin hovers between your legs, hands kneading into your thighs.
“hey,” he says with a grin.
you grin back. “hey.”
“sorry about that,” he apologizes, pulling his shorts down and gently tapping at your entrance with the head of his cock. “but you were right. and i didn’t wanna be last.”
“and where the fuck is my apology, huh!?” matthew yells, standing up in a fury. “we were clearly in the middle of something.”
“well, now we’re in the middle of something,” hanbin replies, burying himself inside of you with a shrug. you whimper at the stretch, fist balling up the neckline of hanbin’s jersey. “so deal with it.”
“you always do this!” matthew shouts and you’re nearly positive he’s about to punch his hyung, when hao and jiwoong stand up and force him into a chair between them. jiwoong rubs his back comfortingly, attempting to calm him down for the time being. 
“look at you,” hanbin says with a smirk— long, slow strokes into you that effectively drive you insane. “he’d throw hands just to get a moment with you. s’gotta make you feel pretty good, right?”
you nod as his hips continue to roll into yours, languid and teasing. you moan when he begins to increase the pace of his thrusts.
“yeah? well it makes me feel fucking awful,” he confesses, hips snapping into you harshly. you cry out, second orgasm building rapidly as you try to pay attention to hanbin’s words. “thought i was throwing you to the wolves, not a handful of potential suitors.”
you’re not quite sure what he’s trying to say, brain focused on only one thing right now. 
“gonna cum for me, baby?” he asks with a smirk, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead. you nod frantically in response, fingers digging into his upperarm as he brings you to the edge. “go on, then— let everyone know who made you feel this good.”
he’s expecting you to scream his name. instead, when your climax hits, you pull hanbin down to you by his collar— pressing your lips to his and moaning against them. your action surprises him, eyes wide until he finally responds. deepening the kiss, his thrusts suddenly grow passionate and tender as he works you through your high.
hanbin brings his hand up to your face and runs his thumb across your cheek. coming up for air, he whispers, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”
“you’ve called me ugly to my face almost every thursday for a year,” you reply, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to bring him even closer still. 
“it’s your fault, you... i—,” hanbin stutters, his thrusts grow haphazard as you feel his cock start to twitch inside you. “fuck, i’m gonna—.”
“how about you cum on my face then?” you suggest, tugging at hanbin’s hair— nails scratching at his scalp gently. “at least you won’t have to look at it if you cover it up.”
“that’s not—... m’not gonna...,” he protests before pulling out of you and climbing up to straddle your chest. hanbin pumps his cock in front of your face. “open your mouth.”
you prop yourself up on your elbows, opening your mouth for him and sticking out your tongue. with a throaty moan, he cums on your tongue— pumping out every last salty drop. you swallow it down, opening wide and showing hanbin that you’d done it. 
“fuck,” hanbin marvels before kissing you warmly. “i can’t believe you.”
“happy with the vulture you made?” you ask with a smirk.
he shakes his head. “not a vulture. a bird of fucking paradise.”
you’re about to tell him that a bird of paradise is a flower, not an actual species of bird, but hanbin stands up too quickly and returns to his seat on top of the corner desk— rubbing his forehead with his hands as if he’s upset by something. unfortunately, you don’t have any more time to dwell on him. you have one last boy to deal with.
you sit up on your knees, eyes locking with matthew before he abruptly turns away in the ultimate display of pettiness. seems like you were more than right about how he’d be in a situation like this. you crawl over to him seductively, placing your hands on his knees as you kneel in front of him.
“look at me, baby,” you plead in a soft voice, running your hands up and down his thighs. “wanna play with you.”
he sighs sadly. “do you? it kinda seems like you wanna play with everyone else more.”
“this kid,” jiwoong remarks with a chuckle. “weren’t you the one that said this was a great idea?”
“i didn’t think i’d have to wait so long to get a turn,” matthew sulks, eyes finally meeting yours again. you must look particularly enticing all fucked up like this, as a growl deep in his throat sounds at the sight of you. “waited so patiently.”
“you almost took a swing at hanbinnie, honey,” you remind him, reaching for the waistband of his shorts and pulling it down until matthew’s angry, thick cock is in your view. “how would you have explained his black eye to everyone at the championship game? hm?”
matthew whimpers as you wrap both hands around his length, popping the tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. “they w-wouldn’t be surprised.”
taerae snorts in response before returning to his silent observation from the couch.
you take him further into your mouth, sucking lazily as matthew breathes harder. when he’s nice and lubricated, you pull off of him and stand up— straddling him again like you had before hanbin interrupted you. this time, you lower yourself onto his impossibly hard cock with a satisfied sigh.
you start to fuck yourself on him, slow until you can find the right rhythm. there’s uncharacteristic silence coming from the boy beneath you.
“do you really want me the least?” matthew asks as your eyes meet, the adorable pout on his lips driving you crazy. 
you shake your head softly. “of course not, baby. but you’ve gotta be good. boys who choke waterboys have to be punished.”
matthew tilts his head innocently. “i didn’t mean to do that.”
you grab a fistful of hair at the back of his neck, yanking tightly. “don’t fucking lie to me.”
“holy shit,” jiwoong whispers.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” matthew whines quickly until your grip loosens. “i... i did sort of mean to do that.”
“i know, baby,” you reply, the pace of your bouncing growing quicker. “that’s why you had to go last this time.”
“this time?” hao and matthew ask at the same time.
you shrug. “so if you behave, you can go first next time.”
“next time?” jiwoong and taerae repeat.
matthew nods eagerly. “i can do that. i promise!”
“yeah?” you reply, promptly stopping your motion as you sink down onto him fully. “you promise to be a good boy?”
at the same time you ask the question, you squeeze his cock with your walls. 
matthew lets out a pathetic cry, head lolling backward to expose his jugular to you. a stunned hush falls over the room. taerae’s jaw drops.
you glance behind you, three pairs of saucer-shaped eyes staring back at you. an impressed hao nods, holding out his hand for you to shake in respect. you do.
“wait, wait—... no, i—...” the boy underneath you pleads. “i didn’t—... that’s not what—.”
you squeeze your walls around him again, a strangled moan falling from his lips as he resumes his submissive state. “d’you want me to keep milking your cock or not, baby?”
“please,” he answers quickly, taking your hand and placing it gently at the base of his neck. “feels so good. want you to milk me dry.”
you oblige, thrilled to get exactly what you wanted out of him. you squeeze him tighter and tighter inside of you, grinding your hips softly against him— massaging softly up his neck with your hand until he’s begging for release.
“gonna cum,” matthew whines, hands moving down your waist before finally situating on your ass. “please, let me cum. (y/n). can’t take it anymore! gonna cum inside you if you don’t—.”
you hop off of him quickly, watching as his cock falls to his lower abdomen— cum covering his own skin as he sighs defeatedly through the ruined pleasure. his head falls to his hands, contemplating his life and where he went wrong.
“fuck, that was hot,” jiwoong says. you glance over, both him and hao now hard again through their pants.
you smile, entirely satisfied with how this turned out. you try to take a step back toward the desk, but your legs aren’t as steady as you thought. taerae stands up from the couch, running to keep you on your feet. jiwoong and hao both get up after him, helping you up onto the desk with concerned expressions.
“are you okay?” taerae asks, bending down to the floor and grabbing your shirt. he hands it to you and you put it on with what little strength you have left. 
jiwoong walks over to his bag, grabbing a water bottle from the side pocket and bringing it back to you. he pops open the top and places it in your hand. “you need to drink, okay? we don’t need you passing out and us all getting questioned at a hospital.”
you nod, taking a sip from the water bottle. hao grabs a tissue from the box on the corner desk, walking over to you and dabbing your forehead gently.
this is bliss, you think. but... how does it all end?
CHOOSE YOUR ENDING ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
click above or here to choose from one of seven endings <3 jiwoong, hao, matthew, hanbin, taerae, group (poly), and group (revenge)
254 notes · View notes
sherwees · 2 months
Text
piano lessons
cw: dubcon, more angsty idk, reader and kun are implied to have a LEGAL age gap, riding, maybe a sir kink, kun uses “sweetie” “sweetheart” etc etc on reader, lots of praising coming from kun too.
side note : I think I made kun praise the reader more than they actually fucked so urm.. uhhhhhhhh 👁👁
extra : I remember when my elementary music teacher told me I had long hands and I would be a great piano player.
extra extra : I used the word fucking and eyes too much for my liking.
apart of the nct corny porn plots series!
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“how about you play this?”
once you hummed at kun's recommendation, he grabbed the music packet and set it in front of you. intently watching him place his finger on the cnote then drag it to the rest of the notes then stop it right at the dash.
“see this,” he tapped at d in between the a and f. “this is where you get really..” kun tries to express it with his hands but he places his hand on his thick thighs in defeat. “overwhelmed..” he finished with a sigh, he met eyes with you but you really met eyes with a key on the far end.
you simply nodded with a short-lived smile, his eyes narrowed in confusion before he tilted his head and nudged your shoulder. “come on, give me a real answer..” kun kept on nudging it until you grinned, he suspects that you're distant and jittery because of the death of your previous instructor but it's really because of how fucking sexy he was omg you wanted a slice of THAT.
“also, keep your wrists forward..” HE FUCKING GRABBED YOUR WRIST AND AND AND AND AND FUCKING POINTED IT FORWARD but lightly and hesitantly as if he was scared to break you, his hands were coarse but comfortably soft. “don't hunch,–” he mocked your stature right before you realized and straightened it.
“don't worry, you're doing much better than usual..” kun muttered, giving you a coy smile to somehow pay off his passive aggressive comment.
you started to play the familiar tune of the sonata, your mind trying to drift from the lingering touch on your waist. one part of your mind focused on moving away from his intruding hands; your spine angling uncomfortably to the left. the other on your frolicking fingers on the arrays of keys, you felt yourself starting to panic but for which reason?
him or that certain section of notes coming up??
maybe you could take your mind off of it?
think about the ache of your fingers but what about the fingers creeping around & across your waist
man fuck it.
you slammed the keys with a huff before covering your face, “I can't get this if you're rubbing all over me!” you said with an irritated tone, it was more embarrassing that you described it that way.. but you still got your point out visibly based off kun's offended look.
“a real pianist w–”
“WOULDN'T BE DISTURBED BY LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT, OKAY I GET IT!” you snapped, standing up from the ottoman then slapping your hands to your sides; your fist balling together slowly. kun stared at your stiff figure with a sigh, but his eyes mused at your pouty lips; he yearned to finally kiss them.. but that's a little.. weird, isn't it?
“my apologies, maybe we need a break?” he suggested in a murmur, trying to hide his smile as he tapped a key lightly but the piano never emitted a sound. the tension was palpable and kun was sure that he'll make it boil over but.. to his liking. no matter what he had to do.
you took a breather, were you more overwhelmed about his absolute SEXINESS OMG YOU WANTED TO FUCK OMFGGGGG or about the piano piece? it was–
“now let's try that again, yeah?” his head peaked out of your peripherals, his eyes filled with some sort of mysterious enthusiasm. as if you were in some sort of illusion, you sat back down. “that's more like it..” kun whispered, his shoulder nudged against yours unintentionally. you didn't notice how the side of your knees were touching, your forearms nearly touched with every movement. freaky ass bitch...
once you were calm, you started playing again. his eyes intently watching your concentrated expression; how your eyes squinted at some points, your jaw clenching once you got to that one sixteenth note that bothered you two weeks prior.
“you're doing really well..” kun reassured, his breath was caught in his throat once he felt a tension at the base of his length with every move of your fingers.
man.. that third note kinda hit different this time..
after finishing, you haven't realized that you were sweating until you pulled your hands from the board. goddamn bitch, you were out of breath?!
kun stood up adruptly with a contempt sigh, brushing your sweaty forehead once you looked at him. you felt kun's hand quiver against your hairline before it felt to his waist, the silence was heavy and ominous. you couldn't even bother to make eye contact with him because of the goosebumps that tingled on the side of your neck. he literally wouldn't stop staring; he probably wasn't even blinking oh my fucking god.
after the sequence of silence, he finally said, “you did great today, sweetheart..” he complimented, hoisting you up by your arms into a hug. kun relished in the feeling of your warm skin against his cold own. “m’ so proud of you..” he whispered the praise into your ear, his lips grazed your lobe.
“I think you deserve an award, hmm?” kun seducted you, the familiar warmth and prickle of goosebumps followed up your neck.
“urm, what?!” you accidentally yelled, turning the tension cold. “huh?” kun said before pulling back, his face contorted in confusion as if he didn't do all that and a bag of chips. he quickly composed himself with a deep breath and clearing of his throat once he noticed your expression still remained angered, frustrated and overall fucking CONFUSED? I MEAN LIKE?!!
he totally got lost in the moment, kun needed to realize that he was your instructor and nothing more. not a lover. it hurt that you didn't see him like that and that you'll never understand how bad he wanted to embrace your warmth and revel in the feeling of the succulent plumpness of your lips. but he couldn't and he shouldn't.
“don't fucking act stupid!” your pent-up irritation scorched kun's frangible heart. “I know, I know, I fucking know!” his hand slammed an array of keys before he rubbed his forehead with a sigh. kun's hand perched on his hip before he looked back up at you, his deep brown eyes teary with hurt.
“I've tried so hard to keep us two platonic in some sort but I just can't do it! you're too much..” his forehead lines frowned in distress whilst his index and thumb met the inner corner of his eyes.
“I mean, I really wanna help you but at the same time, I-I just can't help myself.” he concluded with a restraint tone, his hand unintentionally slamming against the keys again but he found leverage on the top of the piano.
kun let out a throaty sigh once your eyebrows finally rested, “l-let's just continue,okay?” his eyes fell to the ground before he sat back down and you only followed; you didn't want to hurt him further.
once your fingers settled on the keys, your eyes managed to zone in on his heavy ass erection.
just look away, not at his jawline.. look away, maybe at his nose?! maybe at the outline of his maybe soft lips.. MAYBE AT THAT ONE MOLE UNDER HIS EYE?!! MAYBE THE MOLE THAT'S PEEKING OUT OF HIS OPEN BUTTON UP SHIRT?!!! MAYBE OR MAYBEEEE—
“okay- I—” you stood up with your hand on your forehead but immediately moved it away once it reminded you of him. nearly regurgitating the smoothie you chugged 12 hours ago that kun COINCIDENTALLY bought you, you managed to keep your stern authority.
but it completely faltered once he stood up too.
your hand surprisingly caught you, using the side of the piano. “just give me another chan–” he paused his soon series of pleads once he noticed that you shook your head, “it's fine, I'm just..” you trailed off, eyeing kun's erection for a second before looking back up at his eyes; they held some sort of.. weird.. erotic.. vibe to it..
“at this point, it's whatever you decide.”
“decide what?”
“if you wanna go home or to continue our lesson.” he said simply. “I'm just going to teach you.. nothing more.” kun suggested with some sort of grudge behind his words.
“I mean.. you're fine–I'm fine.. I mean– fuck, I'm so over this!” you cowered into your quaking palms before kun's hands (which you now noticed were abnormally larger than yours) pulled them away with a reassuring smile, it was like he was taunting you.. along with his dimples that poked inward.
“how about we just finish our lesson?” he sounded like a fucking robot, you hated it.. hated the fact that he was fucking ignoring that he was messing with you in the beginning of this bitchass lesson, the “sweethearts” “sweeties” that you had to deal with, his touches, his smile, his dimples, his lips, his hands,
just fucking everything, you hated him.
it wasn't a hate, you loathed him.
“stop acting like everything's okay! it's not.”
“well fine then!” he snapped, causing you to jolt lightly. “you have driven me insane since the first week I've even taught you.. I always tried to keep my feelings at bay just so I could fulfill your dream or whatever the hell and help you get over the death of your first instructor.. it hurt so bad when I saw you crying after our first day together.. I tried so fucking hard to be there for you.. provide for you and you just don't meet me in the middle, you've never even thought or bothered to even meet me in the middle either. and it's the bare minimum.” kun's tone died down towards the end, veins sprawled up his forearm as his hand clenched and unclenched with every word that seemed to be forced out of his throat, his eyes filled with some sort of animosity and longing at the same time.
“your naïvety makes my heart hurt so bad.. you just don't understand.” kun's voice strained, his arms flailed to his sides in distress, “you're just so irresistible— it feels weird that I even think about you like that but it's just..” he trailed but the rest of his sentence died in his throat, kun's distraught eyes stayed on the piano; his unshed tears bordered at his waterline shining from the warm lamp.
“I just want the best for you, and I believe that the best is with me.” kun came forward, your eyes followed his hand grasping your fingers quite awkwardly. you look up at him, your eyes were lost, confused and honestly baffled like that whole speech just for him to finally get pussy like hello?!
kun suddenly reached for his zipper simultaneously, his ample cock finally being freed from the suffocating confines of his trousers. but your conscience told you that you'll regret this and that something was off and that this was weird and wro— “sweetheart, be good for me alright..” the cool brass of his rings tingled your face once he gripped your jawline, a sardonic smile splayed on his face.
“kun, seriously–” he ignored your concern as he harshly yanked and tore the waistband of your pants to your knees. your heart raced anxiously, but for what? something about him just intimidated you towards borderline fear.
“just tell me what you want.” kun gripped your waist urgently, his fingernails digging into your skin causing you to wince. “come on now, just give in.” he allured you further, his eyes searching yours for any sort of deceit before his hungry lips practically swallowed yours. yes, his lips were actually soft but he gave too much tongue and it made you nearly recoil everytime he would nudge your tonsil.
kun quite literally tackled you to the ottoman, the warmth of his crotch swept through the butterflies in your stomach and straight towards your cewchie. without any effort, he placed your legs around his hips before pushing down his boxers. the heat emanating from his cock along with the weight of his tip on your clit alone was terrifying, “I don't think I could–” you wept, your imploring orbs meeting his deep-set ones.
“I think you could, I believe you could.. be brave for me, alright?” kun coaxed you while yanking your panties down, overstretching the hem a bit. kun groaned at the sight of your slick that glistened in the light, his tip slipped in between your folds; causing a full body shock to rack through him. “so fucking wet for me, hmm?” kun chimed, that same smile that made you nauseous appeared once more.
“you're s’ pretty, you know that?” you moaned when his pointer tugged at your clit playfully, a warm blob of precum slid to your hole. the head of his cock circled your sopping hole before he slid in easily with the aid of your arousal. your back arched at the unbearable stretch, your hands clawed and tore at his back as he tried to not simply cum over the unsteady pulsating of your walls.
“I fucking swear– just– fuck..” kun huffed, his dark brows furrowed in reluctance and concentration. agonizingly slow, he steadied his thrusts to be short; his tip nudging at your cervix. “you feel so fucking good–” kun said breathlessly, you winced once he slid out with an arousing pop before he sat up. “need you to ride me, alright? I don't think I'll control myself..” he shook his head with defeat, his collar bones sheened with sweat.
“sir– I don't–” he lazily smiled with a sigh and Pat to your thigh, “come on now..” he leaned back, his length twitching against his belly button like an invitation. you nodded hesitantly before straddling his lap, looking down at his length; your stomach dropped but once you took a deep breath, you were probably fine.. for now.
“breathe, princess..” he murmured against your jawline, your lips contorting in an attempt to take his wide tip but your hole only fluttered it out. “fuck– seriously I–” you screeched when kun suddenly shoved you down, tears jumping from your eyes in heavy blotches. you couldn't even bother to make eye contact with him, his eyes were hazed over with full lust.
his big hands grasped your hips as he maneuvered you on his cock, breathy gasps leaving him and whimpers leaving yours. “taking me so well, doll..” he praised you before leaving kisses upon your neck, suckling at some point as the taste of salt from sweat and tang of perfume mingled on his tongue.
the pace you set was obnoxiously slow for kun.. he knew that you were holding back or just not putting your all into it.. he scrutinized you again, your plush but yet tense thighs, your shut eyes unleashing bits of tears.
fuck you were going to be the death of him.
with every bounce on his lap, both of your pre-releases smacked around between you two. your inner thighs were uncomfortably sticky and irritated but the pleasure that coursed through your lower region aided a bit. kun's hips suddenly thrust upward, his hips now meeting yours in sync; causing you to squeal into your hand.
“baby, you could go a bit faster.. come on now..” he really only said that because his release was practically around the corner, he was sure that you could tell from his tensing thighs and twitches of his aching length stealthed in your warmth. kun's eyes rolled back to his skull once you clenched around him again, his hips stuttering additionally with a slap to your ass.
“don't do that baby..” kun heaved, looking down at the mess under you then up at you with eastern european gay porn sadness in his eyes. his clammy hands slide to your thighs whilst you rest your hands on the hook of his shoulders, he suddenly reached a relentless pace; the ottoman squeaking ever so lightly under you both.
“m’ gonna cum...” you mustered a murmur, mixed with a sob. there was only a squelching and smacking that resounded throughout the room, your abdomen caved before you yelped and fell lax into kun's arms with a heave.
“with me, okay?–” his doe eyes pleaded with you, his cock shooting rounds of precum that made your clit swirl. “with me, fuck you're so–..” he shut himself up with another peck to your lips. coincidentally, his thumb applied pressure right at your clit; your fingers tapped at his back once the pressure started to sting.
he suddenly released, his cum combining with the leaking trail of all sorts of releases down your thighs. his chest raising up and down in a tired rhythm against your cheek, his cock releasing wave after wave of his essence until it became droplets. kun eventually pulled out of you and pulled you off of him effortlessly, your head banged on the piano keys though.
cursing to himself, he pulled your head onto his chest and wrapped his arms around your waist. you looked up at him and giggled, kun stared in confusion at your hysterical laughter before you suddenly bit the tip of his nose. it was just something you always wanted to do.
kun immediately covered his nose with a hiss and you weirdly tasted chocolate and then there was a crunch.. “uncover your nose..?” you asked, he shook his head aggressively before you simply just pulled his hands away.
you gasped, he was made of white chocolate..? there was also bits of oreos you tasted also.. that's why his cum had a weird consistency..
“you're made of white chocolate, ew..” kun pouted at your comment before biting your shoulder, you were caramel flavoured. biting his ear lobe, kun pushed you away with an honestly cute angry face. kun then bit you and then you bit him and you ended up eating the top half of his head to his eyes and he ate one of your titties and a bit of your shoulder.
both of you had to go into hiding until you were able to go back into society, kun was blind and you were lopsided. you felt bad that he always had to grip the walls to find his way around the house, always having to touch your missing tittie to make sure it was you.
so you decided to push that whole “I'll love you for all of you even the missing parts” standard away and started venturing out everyday throughout the coco woods and choco lakes, you came back with tubs of the cocoa confection just so you could perfectly sculpt your lover's face back.
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taglist: @teasteeper @haechansbbg
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satorubi · 1 year
Text
𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 - toji fushiguro
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· ₊ ⊹ SYNOPSIS — toji knows just how to get back at your ex.
「❀」 pairing : toji fushiguro x black fem! reader
「❀」 content warning : minors do not interact ! dad’s bestfriend toji, age gap ꒰ toji is forty and reader is in her late twenties ꒱ missionary, fingering, use of the word bitch - during sex - just once, use of pet names such as ꒰ sweetheart, pretty, slut ꒱
「❀」 word count : 3.6K whoop whoop !!
「❀」 author’s note : hiii !!! here’s me re-uploading this edited version of tastiest revenge - apart of my friendship is magic series - bc tumblr took it down the first time :/ i wanted to put out the gojo fic first but due to school starting, i realized how busy i’ve become :0 please enjoy & interactions n reblogs are always loved <33
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you were taken aback when toji answered your call. not only was the time 10:56 PM, but it was also the middle of the week. you ought to been fast asleep in your apartment by now, getting a good night's rest for whatever the world had in store for you tomorrow. but, alas, you were slouching on toji fushiguro's porch, your clothes drenched from the light rain and your makeup smeared from all the tears you'd let fall down your pretty face.
toji stands up from his recliner and looks around before hurriedly opening the door. his heart nearly bursts from your change in vigor. the hesitant, kindhearted disposition you always possessed seems to have been lost just about now; you have a slight pout on your face and stare up at him with imploring eyes.
he swiftly draws you into the warmth of his chest and shut the door behind him without you having to speak another word. his contact causes your body to tremble, and the rumble from his chest doesn't do you credit. all you could hear was him repeatedly mumbling phrases like ‘speak to me’ and ‘i’m right here.’
he allows you a brief minute to collect your thoughts as your nose started to run due to all the sniffling you'd been doing. as he goes into the kitchen, you take a seat on one of the three cushions, letting your head rest against the seat. toji could be seen pouring tea into a lovely glass mug out of the corner of your tearful eyes.
“you wanna’ tell me what brings you here?” he asks, settling into the couch and leaving you both with just enough space. you were completely silent. that bubbly, talkative spirit you usually had was much more comforting compared to the silence he was experiencing right now. you looked completely drained— almost as if someone had completely stripped you from your joy.
“im sorry, toji. i didn’t mean to impose l-like this,” you utter and he chuckles. he gathers the remote in his hand and turns the tv down, figuring you were ready to vent.
“it’s not a bother at all, yn. y’know that.”
you weakly smile, taking a sip of the warm liquid given to you. a deep sigh leaves your lips, “he cheated. like.. a lot.”
before you finished speaking, you could see toji clench his jaw. your former boyfriend, or ‘a fucking bastard,’ as toji used to describe him, was a dumbass. toji wasn't surprised when you discussed this matter, given that the kid was well known for his horrible reputation with the ladies at your uni. since the minute he shook his hand at your birthday all those months ago, he was able to tell that the youngster was a jackass.
the son of a bitch was disrespectful when toji first met him. he spoke of you as if you were merely an item on his arm or a tool at his disposal. he was a real asshole and a heartbreaker; he wasn't your typical old bum of a man, and toji could read him from a mile away.
the kid wore a smug look on his face, only a look of someone without pure intentions would have. he was playing you the entire time and it was easy to see from the eyes of someone who was once a player his damn self.
you see, toji was irritated by the notion that someone could be so foolish as to lose a woman like you. someone who was so understanding, determined to get what she wanted, clever, and humorous in response to everything said to her.
blind. he had to be blind is all.
“a video was posted of him today. he was kissing another girl at some party,” yet another stray tear fell from the brim of your eye and there toji was to wipe it away, “i’m such an idiot.”
no you aren’t.
“nah, he’s a dumbass, and i’ll be damned if i have to sit here and watch you cry over something that isn’t your fault.”
you take a tiny pause in an effort to contain the tears that were on the verge of escaping. of course, none of this was your fault, but for some reason, you felt that you had to bear some responsibility. you made a foolish decision by disobeying all the guidance you had been given, and as a result, you are again stuck with the consequences. given that your father and toji had warned you about the man from the start, you were surprised that he had the strength to even talk to you about it.
“i just- i just should’ve listened to you, that’s all.”
toji sighs, grabbing ahold of your hands and squeezing them gently, “it’s a bad time to say i told you so, so i’m just gonna’ say i’m glad that you’ve come to your senses. he was a dickhead.”
toji noticed you smiling for the first time tonight, so his clumsy joke must have succeeded. genuinely. after your brief burst of laughter, you kept your gaze fixed on toji’s flatscreen without saying a word. the house's four walls reverberated with the faint sound of a local broadcaster's voice as the two of you sat in quiet comfort.
he hopes he won't have to be the one to break the news by asking, “does your father know?” he despised doing things behind his back, but if you wanted him to, he could keep a secret. you admired that you could talk to toji about nearly anything, which was one of his best qualities. he wasn't patronizing or disciplining like your dad.
yes, you adored your old man dearly, but there are instances when hearing someone else's point of view than that of a parent can be quite beneficial. toji. would undoubtedly advise you of right and wrong, but he would never make you feel bad about yourself.
we’re human beings and we all make our fair share of mistakes.
by this time, you were no longer sobbing and you were getting a little bit closer to the man. his side profile is followed by your suckling eyes as you savor his sensitive features. even though you've known toji since you were in your early twenties, you've always thought he was gorgeous, but time has been kind to him. as excellent wine ages, so was he. hell, he probably tasted as delicious as he appeared—
toji starts, somewhat unexpectedly, “y'know, for what it's worth, i think you're an amazing woman." he fumbles with the silver chain dangling from his chest before saying, “you’re pretty, you're smart, and you make a mean pho.”
pretty. he called you pretty.
toji’s solemn face prompts you to hastily cover your smile as he adds, “you didn't deserve to be treated that way- and i hope you know that.” you could feel a hand gently caressing your arm. his calluses brushed against your skin as he held it in a warm, rough manner. the gesture almost made you want to pant like a bitch in the heat, even if you had no idea why or how.
he murmurs, “i don't ever wanna' see you cry like that again,” as his dark irises finally contact yours and you two exchange a soft look. unknown to you at the time, something was causing you to approach a little bit more closely than you had intended. you long for a kiss as your gaze moves from his lips to his eyes and back again.
as you prepare to make what would likely be one of your biggest mistakes yet, you close your eyes. you decrease the distance between you two to just a few inches by placing your lips on his. toji ought to have pushed you away at the first moment, but he was driven to submit. the way your mouth felt against his was just so effortlessly natural.
perhaps the novelty of being alone or the warmth of his body against yours is responsible for you feeling this way right now, but all you want is to continue feeling him like this forever.
toji grabs the nape of your neck while you moan into the kiss, luring you in. you take the initiative to straddle his lap as you start to feel a pool between your thighs, your covered pussy pressing on his crotch as you exchanged saliva.
to your surprise, toji pulls away when you ask for more by licking his bottom lip. even before returning to reality, you managed to feel the remorse beginning to rise in your stomach.
“m’ sorry. i don’t- i don’t know what i was thinking,” you mumble, quickly climbing off of his lap and back into your previous position. “i’m sorry. fuck- i’m sorry. i shouldn’t- we shouldn’t-“ you go on, but all that came out of your apology was a weak, anxious whine. toji simply sits there, likely attempting to process what just happened.
you were scared, but you were also humiliated. toji was not only your father's closest friend, but also his business partner. this could endanger his friendships, family, and profession.
you can't bring yourself to say anything else. you start to gather your things and get ready to go to the door, but just as you stand up, a hand delicately grabs hold of your wrist.
“you want me?”
yes.
“toji- i didn’t mean to-“
“yes or no?”
as you swallow, your chest rises and falls from the kiss's delirium. toji manspreads while keeping his hands on his lap and waiting for your response, tapping his foot on floor. he did have an issue with staring. his eyes gave off the impression that they would cut straight through you.
you say, "y-yes," but it sounds more like a moan. when toji hears this, he gets up from his chair and approaches you slowly. his hands were in the pockets of his gray sweats, and he had a smirk on his face. he continues moving until he is directly in front of you, his shirt showing his hardened nipples.
“say it with your chest, yn. did you not just kiss me? or was i imagining things?”
his taunting tone of voice not only annoyed you, but it turned you on too. he tilts his head to the side and looks you up and down, eyes following your curves, “toji, i want you.”
that was all he needed until it was his turn to attack your mouth with pecks. pecks turned into drawn out kisses and those eventually escalated to biting and sucking on one another’s lips. your noses chafed together as toji groans into your mouth. while your tongues danced to the rhythm of desire, toji’s hand came between your pants and the waistband of your pink panties. he shoves his palm inside the lousy fabric to cup your cunt in his hand.
he flicks his middle finger at your folds as you whimper, "want more, please." he can feel your lust on the tip of his knuckle. “i need you,” your nails skim the happy trail under his shirt, causing toji to grunt. the poor guy had no idea how much power you had over him.
“are you gonna’ regret it?” you ask, and yes, it was blunt of you, but you wondered if he was truly aware of the consequences of this action. you had to think of it from his perspective too.
toji was currently obtaining a happy life. he lived a peaceful existence with just him and his son and had a profession that was more than well compensated, but you? you were a grown woman—twenty eight, to be precise—and although you may have acted impulsively, it may have been just what you wanted. but want eventually turns to greed, and you’d hate to do damage to his conscious over your behavior.
“why would i regret you?”
you wanted to spend the evening lusting over his wonderful words— hearing him tell you the sweetest things, but no matter how sincere and charming his question was, your thoughts were elsewhere.
toji and you each had the ability to choose your own paths. everything you've done up to this point has been deemed inappropriate, and even if he were to stuff you full of his cock, it wouldn't matter. this was already out of line as is.
you make the decision to take matters into your own hands and carry on the passionate makeout session by encircling his neck with your arms. you can feel toji's hands pinching your ass cheeks as he begins to cup them to enfold you in his arms. he sits down on the sofa with you still in his grasp, allowing you to straddle his lap as before.
the hard cock sitting pretty in his sweats did nothing but rub up against you. as much as you wanted to take it slow, you couldn’t suppress the urge to let him have his way with you.
“‘ima fuck you so good, princess. so much better than he ever has,” he utters. you lift your hips up to give him room to finally take his aching cock out of his sweats. while doing so, he doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you.
"look at what you do to me, love," to put it mildly, you were in wonder as he grabbed hold of your chin and lowered your head between you both. first the middle, then the base was displayed. the thin pubic hairs that were still attached to his skin were somewhat cut, lying flat against his shaft as the tip of him flashed a brilliant pink.
as his cock stood up, toji flexed his lower abdomen to move it a little. each time he did this, his cock tapped against your belly, creating a pat.
“big huh? it’ll fit, don’t worry,” he ends his sentence with a wink and grasps on to your ass cheeks again, this time, parting them slowly. as you lift up, his cock aligns with your hole, leaking and eager for some attention.
“please be careful. it’s been a while,” you mumble. you turn to look away but he only comforts you, “i will. i promise.”
as toji entered you, your pussy revealed how horny you truly were. your sopping cunt slobbered around him inch by inch, little by little. your juices had covered his cock and made it easier for your walls to expand, adjusting to his size.
the burn causes your mouth to hiss. feeling him wriggle his way in like this made you feel like a virgin all over again. he had the kind of dick you had to mentally prepare yourself for; the kind that, after only two or more minutes, would have you crying and trembling in his hands.
“focus, yn. just focus on us, for right now.” he didn’t have to tell you twice. how could you not focus on just this? toji had your head spinning and your insides bubbling like never before. it’d be hard to think of anything or anyone else other than him, “you’re so deep- shit!” mushing your ass in his hands, he lifts you up and down his cock, making you feel each and every bit of him. toji bites back a moan when you start to become more comfortable— hips moving with his and your ass melting in his palms.
arms incoherently wrap around toji’s neck as he digs deep, moaning into your ear, “you don’t understand how good you feel. can i go faster? wanna’ make you cum all over my lap like the good girl i know you are.” you practically scream yes and immediately after, you hear a clapping sound.
your ass slamming against toji’s thighs was the cause of the ruckus, you realize as you turn to face the source of the noise. as you watch toji’s cock slip in and out of your pussy, he raises his head to stare at the side of your face, getting excited at how hard you clenched down in him as you watched him fuck you vigorously.
“look at how good you’re doing. takin’ that dick like it’s yours. you look so pretty like this.”
his encouraging words appeared to have given you self-assurance. using both of your forces to fill yourself, you start to slam down on him. you felt as though you were handling a lot at once, but you hardly cared enough to flee. god, did it feel wonderful to be taking dick like a pro.
“ooo- it's stretching me, toji! feels so fuckin’ good. i love it so much.” one thing toji picked up from this was how much of a screamer you were. every thrust ended with another high-pitched moan grumbling from your chest.
“you’re a loud lil’ thing, aren’t you? hope the neighbors don’t mind too much, but they’ll understand, right? i’m fuckin’ you so well they’ll have no choice but to understand.”
it was so easy for him to utter such derogatory phrases knowing the conditions his life would be in after— but he felt like he was compelled to. he loved the sensation of listening to your pussy becoming wetter with each passing stroke. incredibly responsive— his favorite.
his thoughts began to flow as a result of your hands grabbing at his shoulders. you were so desperate that you were delighted to accept whatever he was putting down, “i can’t believe mr. ln’s daughter is such a dirty little bitch. how do you think he’d feel knowin’ i’m ruining you like this, hm?”
that was when you came. something about the secrecy just made you all the more ablazed. although this might’ve been just a temporary feeling, you clamored for more— hollering his name and the curses that trailed behind it.
“m’ cumming! m’ cumming- fuck me, toji!”
he laughs, “how good is it, slut? tell me, how’s it feel?”
you could barely produce a single sound. you could only hold your mouth ajar and let out broken whines. your body was drowning in a sheen coat of sweat and your pussy was a bit sore, but you wanted to cum again.
“it feels a-amazingh,” you babble, unable to even utter the pronunciation of your words as he continues to poke at your g-spot. he was fucking you through it, talking you through it, and pulling you right into his grasp to swallow your whines with his mouth.
after he wrung out the last of your juices, he quickly lifts you up and places you on your back. he could now see just how pretty your pussy truly was. two plumped folds sitting on either side of a puffy clit that was in need of some sucking and a cute hole that ached for good dick.
a dream. a dream indeed.
toji wasted no time slipping it in, feeling your walls comfort his cock like a warm hug. every stroke was tender, but he was so slutty. the chain dangling from his neck beamed in your face and out of instinct, you tug on it a little to pull him down. taking a second to indulge in his features. he was so fucking sexy, especially like this— jet black hair sticking to his forehead, muscle tee drenched in sweat, and his small, hidden whines slipping in every now and then. you couldn’t believe you hadn’t done this sooner.
“i-i love this. love your dick so much- makes m-me feel so happy, toji.” now it was your turn to make your words dig deep, bringing him to the checkpoint with just a few praises.
“don’t say shit like that- fuck.”
you bring your hands to his face to cup his cheeks. you gently press your forehead against his and continue whispering sweet nothings against his lips.
“i can’t believe you’re fucking me like this— like you’ve wanted me for so long. you must love this pussy, huh? love when i take you like this?”
you take note of his sudden shudder, his strokes slowly becoming harder as his breath hitches near your ear, “yn, you better fuckin’ stop.”
“i can’t help it, toji. you just fuck me so much better,” you gasp and reached your arms around his neck, burying your head in his neck. you clench around him, and toji nearly loses it. the knot was finally beginning to unravel, his stomach was fluttering, and he was a bit tired, but he was so close— and you were too, again.
“where do you want me, sweet girl? i’m gonna’ to cum,” he asks, and you answer with a stream of yeses and ‘inside inside’. on command, you feel the wave of toji’s cum filling you full. your pussy wet him up with yet another orgasm and you practically collapse.
toji continues to fuck you through your climax, as well as his own. he was being nothing but dirty, yet a hint of weet. whispering things like ‘good girl’ and ‘i’m so proud of you’ over and over. your head was empty and so was your energy scale. you wanted nothing more than a nice soak in a warm bath to attend to your sore figure.
toji pulls out of you, leaving a airy noise being him when he does. his dick was coated in white, and he was still hard as you were wet, but you were both far too exhausted to give it another go.
he sees some of his cum dripping from your pussy and scoops it onto his index finger. lifting that same hand to your mouth, your lips immediately part to taste the mess the two of you made, “revenge tastes sweet doesn’t it?” he asks as you suck on his fingers until completely clean, letting out a moan while doing so.
as he stands to his full height, he stares down at your limp limbs and shakes his head in disbelief, “i didn’t kill ya’ did i?” he breathlessly laughs. you weakly smile and flip him off as he heads down the hall.
eventually toji returns, watching quietly as your lashes kiss your cheeks with exhaustion. still under a trance, he takes a towel he’d gotten from the bathroom to smooth your back and thighs, making sure to get between them as well. as he finishes, you could feel a delicate kiss being planted behind your ear.
his act as a caretaker drove you into a deep sleep, and he was left to reflect on what took place night. he might be jobless, and friendless in morning, but for right now, he’d rather fall asleep to the sound of your breaths as you lay your head on his chest— dreaming of the life you deserve.
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©️ SATORUBI 2023 please do not copy, repost as your own, or translate any of my work without my knowledge <33
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enchanted-wildflower · 6 months
Text
On animism
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One of my teachers at university told us something today, that I believe to be relevant to animism and therefore also witchcraft:
He explained that in the West we see everything as occurences, whereas in some languages the same happenings are described as actions. Meaning that in the West we tend to imply that there is no agency involved in whatever happens, while some other languages tend to imply that someone activily causes things. His example was that in the West rain is understood as something that just happens, no one causes the rain. Whereas in Mesoamerica it was believed that it rained because some god was crying.
While the idea of a literal crying god causing it to rain on earth might be outdated, I find it really interesting how these two perspectives - events vs. actions - might shape our relationship with the world. If rain is not just an occurence, but someone acting with agency, rain becomes another part of the community we live in. The community then doesn't only consist of humans anymore, but of everything that surrounds us. Suddenly there are all these new players that actively affect your life with their actions. Other-than-human persons that you can interact with and with whom you have to keep a friendly relationship. If the tree in front of your house isn't just an object, but a being with agency, you actually have to be at least respectful and might even want to build a relationship with them, get to know them, learn from them.
I think that's really the core of animism. Descriptions of animism are often reduced to the believe that everything has a soul, but I think believe doesn't even factor into it. You don't need to believe that there is a non-physical aspect to rain, mountains, stones. It's about how we interact with them. I don't even have to ask myself the question if the tree in front of my house has a soul in order to learn about and from them or to interact with them. In my opinion animism is something that is done, not thought or believed. It's a perspective.
Listening to my teacher also reminded me of the following part of Braiding Sweetgrass (great book btw) which explains all this really well:
A bay is a noun only if water is dead. When bay is a noun, it is defined by humans, trapped between its shores and contained by the word. But the verb wiikwegamaa - to be a bay - releases the water from bondage and lets it live. "To be a bay" holds the wonder that, for this moment, the living water has decided to shelter itself between these shores, conversing with cedar roots and a flock of baby mergansers. Because it could do otherwise become a stream or an ocean or a waterfall, and there are verbs for that, too. To be a hill, to be a sandy beach, to be a Saturday, all are possible verbs in a world where everything is alive. Water, land, and even a day, the language a mirror for seeing the animacy of the world, the life that pulses through all things, through pines and nuthatches and mushrooms. This is the lan- guage I hear in the woods; this is the language that lets us speak of what wells up all around us.
[...]
This is the grammar of animacy. [...] In English, we never refer to a member of our family, or indeed to any person, as it. That would be a profound act of disrespect. It robs a person of selfhood and kinship, reducing a person to a mere thing. So it is that in Potawatomi and most other indigenous languages, we use the same words to address the living world as we use for our family. Because they are our family.
To whom does our language extend the grammar of animacy? Naturally, plants and animals are animate, but as I learn, I am discovering that the Potawatomi understanding of what it means to be animate diverges from the list of attributes of living beings we all learned in Biology 101. In Potawatomi 101, rocks are animate, as are mountains and water and fire and places. Beings that are imbued with spirit, our sacred medicines, our songs, drums, and even stories, are all animate. The list of the inanimate seems to be smaller, filled with objects that are made by people.
[...]
The language reminds us, in every sentence, of our kinship with all of the animate world.
- Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants (2013), p. 78-80.
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why4anne · 7 months
Text
Racing Hearts
Part: 1
Pairing: Jack Hughes x Reader
Word-count: 2k
Summary: F1 prodigy Y/N L/N finds herself with an unexpected crush on NHL sensation Jack Hughes.
Face claim: Madison Beer + others
Masterlist
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“Do I have to do this interview?” I asked my media manager. I had just arrived at my hotel in Canada and apparently I had been scheduled for an Interview in an hour. “Yes, Y/N, you have to do this interview. The other guest has already flown out early to do this interview before the race-weekend starts and it will look really bad if you don’t show up” Sarah has been my media manager since I moved to F1 at the age of 19, which was 3 years ago and she was more than used to my antics by now.
“What is it even about?” I asked as I switched my attention from my phone to fully look at her.
“It’s something about 2 stars at the age of 22 or something. The other guest is Jack Hughes, a hockey player in the NHL” Sarah looked at her notes as she said this.
“Hockey player?” I asked, exasperated.”Sarah, I know nothing about hockey! What are we even going to talk about?” 
“Don’t worry, the interviewer will make sure everything goes smoothly. You just have to sit there, smile and answer the questions.” It was obvious that she was fed up with my whining at this point so I decided to shut my mouth.
An hour and a half later I found myself in a white room with three mics standing on a table. I greeted a guy named Evan who was the host of the podcast that the interview was for and sat down in my seat, waiting for this other guy to show up. 
Five minutes later I was making small talk with the host as the door opened and a man with light brown hair walked in and fuck was he hot. I found myself staring at him as he shook hands with Evan. I could clearly see his biceps under his white t-shirt and I would be lying if I said that they were small. But, before I could look for longer I found him in front of me with his hand outstretched. I quickly pulled myself out of my daydream and stood up to greet him.
“What’s up, I’m Jack” He introduced himself, his mannerisms and way of talking all screamed cool boy, which was very different from the pampered rich boys who were the majority of the people in racing.
“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you” I answered with a polite smile and shook his hand, locking eyes with him as I did so. I noticed how blue they were.
“Alright, if you both feel up for it I think we should get going” Evan interrupted our moment. 
“Sounds good” Jack agreed and we both took our seats.
“Welcome back to the Sport podcast, today we are joined by not one, but two special guests. We have hockey superstar Jack Hughes, a 22 year old center of the New Jersey Devils. He was drafted first overall in 2019 and has just come off a career high season with 99 points and a playoff run.” Evan introduced Jack to the podcast and I couldn’t help but be impressed with his stats. My knowledge in hockey may be limited but the way that Evan was describing him made him sound like a really good player
“Hey” Jack said into the mic. I couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness .
“And we also have F1 protege Y/N L/N. She is currently the youngest driver on the grid but don’t be fooled, she’d been tearing up the grid for 3 years now and is currently looking like she might become the youngest World Champion in Formula 1 history, bringing the championship back to Ferrari for the first time since 2007.” Evan moved on to me.
“Ah, Evan, don’t jinx it” I smiled, all of my media training on the forefront of my mind and after years of this I would say that I’m quite skilled at the media game. 
“Just keeping it real,” Evan chuckled. “Now, how much do you guys know about each other?” 
Both me and Jack looked at each other, seeing who was going to answer first.
“Well, to be completely honest, I don’t know a lot about hockey so I’m kind of going into this interview completely blind, sorry” I admitted, feeling kind of bad for my lack of knowledge.
“No worries, I bet that you’re busy, " Jack reassured me. “I would say I’m a casual F1 fan, like I know the top teams and drivers”
"That's fair," I replied with a friendly smile. "I'm sure we can still have an interesting conversation, even if we're not experts in each other's fields."
Evan nodded in agreement and continued, "Absolutely, it's all about getting to know each other better and sharing some insights from your respective worlds. So, Jack, tell us, what's it like being a professional hockey player in the NHL?"
Jack leaned forward, his easygoing smile making him even more charming. "Being in the NHL has been a dream come true for me. It's intense, the competition is fierce, and the fans are incredibly passionate. There's nothing quite like stepping onto the ice in front of a packed arena. You feel the energy and the pressure, but that's what makes it all so exciting."
I listened to Jack's response with genuine interest, even though I had limited knowledge about hockey. He spoke with such passion and enthusiasm that it was easy to understand why he had such a successful career in the sport.
Evan then turned to me and asked, "Y/N, can you share with us what it's like being an F1 driver, especially at such a young age?"
I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding, "Well, Formula 1 is an incredibly challenging and fast-paced sport with high pressure on the drivers and teams. As a driver, you have to be physically and mentally prepared for each race and you have to put up the results if you want to stay. I mean, there are only 20 seats in the entire world and if you’re not performing there is always another driver who will. I think going into it so young was both a blessing and a curse. It definitely put more attention on me as a driver, but at the same time I kind of got a head start.”
Jack nodded in understanding as I spoke. "Yeah, I can imagine the pressure, especially at such a young age. I mean, you're literally racing against some of the best drivers in the world. It must be quite the experience."
I appreciated his understanding, and I was starting to feel more at ease with the conversation. "Absolutely, and it's a constant learning process. But it's also incredibly rewarding when you have those moments of success and achieve your goals."
Evan jumped in, keeping the conversation flowing smoothly. "It's clear that both of you have a deep passion for your respective sports. What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced in your careers so far?"
Jack took a moment to reflect before answering, "One of the biggest challenges in my career has been dealing with injuries. Hockey can be a rough sport, and I've had my fair share of injuries that required a lot of rehab and patience. But it's part of the game, and it's made me stronger both physically and mentally."
I nodded in agreement, "In F1, the physical and mental demands are also immense. The travel schedule, the constant competition, and the pressure to perform can take a toll. Plus, adapting to different tracks and conditions is a unique challenge in itself. And, of course, there's the challenge of dealing with the media and public expectations."
Evan acknowledged our responses, "It's clear that both of your careers come with their own set of challenges, and yet you've managed to rise to the top of your respective sports. What advice would you give to young athletes aspiring to reach the level of success that you've achieved?"
Jack leaned in and said, "I'd say that dedication and hard work are essential. You have to be willing to put in the hours, stay committed to your training, and never give up, no matter how tough it gets. Surround yourself with a supportive team and use setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow."
I added, "I completely agree with Jack. In addition, I'd say it's important to keep a clear vision of your goals and stay focused. Stay true to your passion and love for the sport because that's what will drive you to overcome the challenges. And never forget that setbacks are part of the journey; they make the successes even more rewarding."
Jack nodded in agreement with my response. "That's some great advice, Y/N. Having a clear vision and staying passionate about what you do is crucial in any career, especially in sports."
Evan smiled and continued, "Thank you both for sharing your insights and experiences. It's clear that you're both dedicated and passionate individuals in your respective fields, and your advice is valuable for anyone striving for success. Now, before we wrap up, let's have a little fun. How about a rapid-fire round of questions for each of you?"
Jack and I exchanged amused glances, ready for the challenge. Evan fired off a series of questions, alternating between us.
"Favorite pre-game ritual?"
Jack answered first, "Listening to music that gets me pumped up."
I followed, "Visualizing the entire race, corner by corner, in my mind."
"Favorite post-game or post-race meal?"
Jack grinned, "Pizza, no doubt."
I chuckled, "A plate of pasta."
"Most memorable career moment so far?"
Jack's eyes lit up, "Scoring my first NHL goal. It was a dream come true."
I shared, "Winning my first F1 race. It was an unforgettable feeling."
As the rapid-fire questions continued, Jack and I found ourselves sharing more personal insights and even some lighthearted stories. We learned about our favorite travel destinations, hobbies outside of our respective sports, and our sources of inspiration.
The interview had transitioned from a professional exchange to a more relaxed and friendly conversation. Jack's charismatic and easygoing personality made it easy to connect, and I found myself genuinely enjoying our interaction. We even exchanged a few friendly jokes along the way, creating a comfortable atmosphere in the studio.
Evan, our host, couldn't help but smile as he witnessed the chemistry between us. "It's clear that you two are getting along great."
Jack nodded with a playful grin, "Yeah! Maybe we'll see Y/N at a hockey game one day."
I laughed, "Well, my media manager told me you’re attending the Canadian Grand Prix this weekend. Maybe I will see you in the Ferrari garage."
Jack chuckled, "I'll be sure to swing by the Ferrari garage and show some support. Maybe you can give me a crash course in F1"
I grinned at the idea. "Deal! And I'll make sure to catch a New Jersey Devils game when the opportunity arises. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about hockey."
The interview wrapped up and Jack and I exchanged one last friendly smile.
"It was a pleasure, Jack. I’ll see you at the Grand Prix this weekend, I’ll be the one in red" I joked as we said goodbye.
Jack chuckled, "I'm looking forward to it. And if you ever want to catch a hockey game, just give me a call."
I chuckled, "I might just take you up on that offer. Best of luck with your season, Jack."
Jack flashed a warm smile as he nodded. "You too, Y/N. Good luck this weekend."
We both exchanged contact information and made plans to meet up during the Grand Prix this weekend. It was unexpected, but I had enjoyed our conversation, and I was genuinely looking forward to seeing Jack again. 
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liked by pierregasly, jackhughes and 1 242 635 others
yourusername: I had a blast on @/Sports_People today. Go check out their latest episode "Two stars under 22", where @/jackhughes and I delve into our experiences in sports.
view comments:
Sports_People: Such a great episode, thanks for joining us!
liked by yourusername
jackhughes: I had a great time! See you this weekend
- yourusername: I'll be the one in red!😜
holly_hockey: My two faves together? Yes please!
ferrarimorris: I'll be at the race on Sunday, hope you win! Forza Ferrari!
jackhugheswifeyyy: Of course she's pretty aswell, my chances are getting slimmer by the minute🤧
- caufieldsonfire: she's a brunette, don't worry
curiousgeorge: Move to McLaren please! We need youuuu!!🙏💀
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ataraxiaspainting · 5 months
Text
It's Cold Outside.
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Yan Chrollo x F Reader.
Synopsis: A stranger has weaseled his way into every aspect of your life.
Warnings: Yandere themes, non-con/dub-con (the reader is under the influence of aphrodisiacs but non-consensually), the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectfully, threats of violence, stalking, manipulation, Chrollo the Creepster, and unhealthy relationships.
Word Count: 2.2k.
Ten Songs Like This Piece:
(You’re The) Devil in Disguise by Elvis Presley
Salvatore by Lana Del Ray
Who Is She? by I Monster
Kiss Of Fire by Georgia Gibbs
Money, Money, Money by ABBA
Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde
4:00A.M. by Taeko Onuki
How I’d Kill by Cowboy Malfoy
Sonne by Rammstein
The Great Gig in the Sky by Pink Floyd
“I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from the Underground
*~*~*~*
i. “Technicolor worlds with white clouds are bound to be destroyed by silver snow.”
When you step into your house, it is like you are instantly transported back to a year ago. Everything in sight, from the walls to the shelves, has decorations of some kind, whether going all out with the kitchen table having an entire feast of delicious holiday treats made by your grandparents, or just a green and red painting of a Christmas tree placed in your older sister’s usually monochromatic room. Perhaps the painting is yet another way she proves that she can somewhat react well to requests to change her room a little bit. Even if the painting is on the farthest wall from the door and is partially hidden from view by the many anime figurines and books larger than your head. Your mother claims that it is a miracle she convinced her to put up any holiday decorations in her room at all and thus doesn’t bother her further. 
Each room also has a different festive scent, your younger sister’s room having a hot chocolate scent mixed with the smell of piled up dishes on her desk, most coming from when she was ‘helping’ your grandparents cook by ‘testing to make sure the food isn't poison’.
How heroic of her to sacrifice herself for the family.
Your room, you think, looks much better than your sisters’ combined, having decked it out to the maximum by taking out all of your Halloween decorations and replacing them with Christmas ones. It took you the whole weekend, sure, and caused you to break the bank, but your love for accessories outweighs your logic and reason by quite a lot. Your beloved record player is back on your table that also simultaneously houses your television and jewelry playing Elvis Presley’s Blue Christmas. A wreath larger than your torso is on your door and your room smells like all the holiday air fresheners you found in your closet. Pine, peppermint, orange, lemon, cranberry… all mix to make a beautiful festive scent unmatched by even your parents’ bedroom. Everything is how it should be, and how it always is every year.
Well, almost. A man named Chrollo, a man who gives you anything but comfort, has been invited to your family-only yearly Christmas party. When your father, who has always been too protective of you and your sisters and never lets you spend time with the opposite gender, told you that Chrollo of all people would be attending, you tried to argue otherwise. You tried telling him that none of you had known Chrollo for so long, but he had rebutted Chrollo’s lie that you had known him for over a year with you two developing a close bond. You realized it was too late then, and Chrollo had charmed your entire family, with even your older sister always having a smile on her face whenever she saw him at her workplace. 
ii. “Like actors, each snowflake has a different role to play. They sing along with every step of a boot as a deceitful way to express their pain.”
The moment the doorbell chimes, its piercing resonance assaults your eardrums and causes an unsettling shiver to course through your spine.
You find yourself in an unsettling situation as your family eagerly awaits, and to your dismay, you are the designated individual tasked with the responsibility of opening the door. You two are such good friends, aren’t you? We wouldn’t want to get in the way of your bonding time.
You want to say he is lying, to tell them everything, every threat he has told you, him meaning them or otherwise. But as soon as they know of what Chrollo really and truly is, they will meet a painful end; that being pushed onto train tracks, their drink being laced with a poison that destroys the body from the inside out, or having nails thrusted into their bloody palms as they hang on their bedroom wall as you look in horror. Elton, Anya, and Robert all being examples of such… You don’t want to think of the bodies just waiting to rot around the Riverbend, your fault or otherwise.
You also don’t want to drown in this river. A river inhospitable to any aquatic life whatsoever, and only harbors a barrier of carnivorous plants that eat those who dare come close. Butterworts, large lilac purple ones that feel like they have been dipped in the most tempting butter mixed with forbidden fruit and honey produced by none other than the queen bee herself. Are you the fly, or are they? You have no idea, and you don’t want to find out.
“Hello.” Your response is concise and devoid of warmth, with a noticeable absence of your usual cheerful demeanor evident in your expression and tone.
Chrollo's smile is so sinister that even the most depraved devil's grin would pale in comparison, with all the large gift bags behind him swinging like a tail.
“Ah, [First]. Happy holidays. No need to be so cold, you know. The snow is already doing that for you. So-”
Despite your strong desire to slam the door in his face, you choose to step aside and allow him entry, in an attempt to silence him.
“Put the gifts by the tree by the kitchen table. The white table and not the black one.”
However, rather than fulfilling your expectations, all he does is elicit a burst of laughter so unique that it resonates within you, while discreetly handing over the most colossal gift bag, compelling you to accept it as if under some intangible force.
“Just a little something. I know it’s customary to wait until later but… I simply can’t help myself. Open it whenever you get the chance, dearest.”
…He means right now, in your room, doesn’t he? Perhaps he installed a camera in your room as you slept, he has certainly threatened to do that before. Or maybe he will just spy on you through the little space between the door and the frame. He has done that before, after all. 
You resisted the urge to scream when you saw a picture of your mother sleeping blissfully, the camera focused on her ring finger with the caption Should I take another souvenir? written on it, but the card, as beautiful as it appeared with a lace envelope and your name written in script on the card’s cover above Chrollo’s, proved to be even more of a challenge. When you read the words on it, your heart plunges so deeply that you fear your gastric acid will erode it.
Save your tears. For even if you cry to the whole world, it will never be enough to make me disappear. Meet me outside in five minutes, and make whatever excuse you deem necessary. No exceptions.
As you begin to read further, a wave of fragrant and delicate floral scents envelops your senses, instantly igniting a warm sensation in your head, leaving no time for contemplation.
Trying to ignore your slight dizziness, you read the rest of the card.
Just a little something to make sure you do this. We wouldn’t want your family to see you in… what state you are about to be in, do we?
…Just what did he do to you?
iii. “With the burden of wintertime ending, nature spends time creating beautiful trees and flowers. To accompany them, she makes twisted vines and weeds, for she knows that without them there cannot be balance or purpose in being comfortably numb.”
You were on your back, on his bed, within what felt like one second, not remembering the car ride over to his place, your wrists pinned beneath the strength of one of Chrollo's hands while he looked down at you within another, his other undoing the tie of the bandana on his forehead and showing you, for the very first time, of the cross tattoo underneath it.
All you can do is watch your whole world slow down and be replaced by a dream.
A blissful and sweet dream, as sugary as saccharine and as dissolvable as cotton candy, that is a veil and covers your eyes from what is happening; until it is too late, until you feel some of his fingers go into the band of your skirt and start pulling and pulling, downward, and that is when terror went to combat with your unwanted lust.
“...What… are… you… doing…? Chroooooo…” Your words slur as your mind buzzes with euphoria, and you can feel every sensation in vivid detail, every touch and every breath feeling heightening and intoxicating. As much as you want to, you can’t tell him to stop, not now.
“Shh, it’s what you want, isn’t it?” At least that is what you think he said, because as Chrollo spoke, you struggled to decipher his words amidst the haze that enveloped your mind. Reality fragments, leaving you unable to muster the strength to plead for him to cease. “It will feel oh so very good, I promise. Very, very nice and very, very good.” With that, you come to realize the wetness between your rubbing thighs, amidst the cloudiness and the larger-than-life headache that rips your skull apart. “Do you trust me?” The voice sounds almost heartfelt, not as intimate as it could be, but it was still more than enough for your hands to cling to him and pull him in closer, faster, so he could relieve you of this hell. “I will assume that that is a yes.” His hands move to the two buttons on your blouse, undoing them with ease, softly, gently, like it was a baby bird. 
“Faster… faster…!” You feel like a man who hasn’t seen water on any day of their life, and if you lose the location of the oasis you are sure to never find it again. 
Like a man lost in the desert, you choke on imaginary quicksand, soon to drown if water does not save you.
“Aw, such a precious little thing, aren’t you?” You are gently flipped over in an instant and he unbuckles your bra, quickly. 
“If you love me… really love me… make me feel better… please.”
“Don’t worry, I will.” He flips you over again and his fingers lower to your panties, pulling them down from your trembling legs, just like he did with your skirt. “You trust me after all, don’t you?”
You cry out yes after utterly desperate yes, as he watches, his smile getting wider as he starts undoing his belt. He puts a finger on your lips after he has heard enough, shushing you gently.   
“Then trust me when I say that this, my dear, is for your own good.”
Beneath the surface, whether it be shallow or not, you have no desire to comprehend his intentions.
You don’t want to know. You just want this to go away.
iv. “Through discoveries, there is a hint of madness that enters our minds. Only then can we see our world’s colors change from squid ink and bone to begonias and finches.”
Chrollo undoes his belt, then his pants, and then his boxers. You focus on his face to ignore what is currently nearly touching the side of the mattress by a hair or two, hard and enlarged and slightly pink and-
He takes off his shirt button after button, much, much, much slower than how he took off the rest of his clothing. There exists a deep-seated anger within you, yet it is accompanied by a sense of gratitude, as both you and he are aware of your mutual aversion towards this situation.
Despite both of you being aware that this is not your desired outcome, he still kisses you, gently, full of warmth, and tenderly. What you truly desire is to satisfy the ache within you. But he won’t give it to you yet, will he?
Time seems to drag on as his kisses get faster, and more hungry, with his tongue essentially becoming another of your muscles, wet, and neither wanted nor unwanted. 
Eventually, you get what you want, after enough begging for him to just get it over with. At the beginning, there is a gentle caress resembling a warm and velvety rose petal. However, as time progresses, the touch becomes increasingly forceful until his fingers enter. But it does not hurt. Should you be thankful for that? At least he is being nice.
He starts thrusting, and that also does not hurt. No soreness. You won't feel any discomfort until your eyes meet, causing a sensation that almost makes you want to throw up, were it not for the illicit satisfaction this dreadful encounter brings. It's a peculiar kind of pain, one that lingers like a ghost stealthily gliding through walls, catching you off guard before you can comprehend its presence.
Nothing hurts, and that in of itself gives you the most pain anyone could imagine. 
v. “Heat lightning gives way to summer storms and verdant wind. This makes for a hauntingly beautiful melody of ripples and thunder.”
“…And this maiden, she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me.”
vi. “The dead, fallen leaves of autumn come in many shades from bright red to a dull brown. They flow with the wind from one place to the next as invitations from those who passed on to the living.”
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nn-ee-zz · 2 months
Note
What are your other OC's like? I'm interested in hearing about the stories you came up with for them.
UH OH youre gonna get me talking!
My OCs are NPCs by origin. I was (still am) the DM of my friend group and to get their characters moving along I had to create my own.
Unexpectedly, my friends loved them.
ILYA - unwell henchman
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i know its a boys name,
An aiding hand to an ambiguous villain, Ilya was introduced as sneaky, smiling, and untrustworthy. The facade collapsed once she vomited inside a cup after accidentally touching the liquified remains of (unbeknown to her) her younger sibling. The villain is a wizard of great power and transported all the liquid from their body to put out a fire, mummifying and killing the person in the process in an attempt to save several.
She seeks her sibling amongst the city. The tingling awareness of their demise at the hands of the guild she encouraged them to join and growing panic and grief led her to start a fight with someone who is spiraling as well.
She ends up at the local clinic, heavily injured and minus one eye, and spirals further from her injuries, her guilt, and the knowledge her family was correct about her being too mentally fragile to be in the city. Until....
(For now. The overall arc for this character is of recovery and improvement instead of pain and self-destruction. Forgive your past and find value within you that goes beyond self-sacrifice. With the help of others, of course.)
Despite her questionable moral position, a lot of characters feel the need to protect her.
Art - Her wearing another characters shirt and her getting a widdle kiss from said character, because even I (the monster freak artist) have my lovely ships
ED - emo organ trafficker
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''Nez, I want my oc to be kidnapped and rescued by another oc'' ''Hm, I'll make up a guy to kidnap them then''
Originally meant to be a minor antagonist that would kidnap a character to harvest their organs and be easily defeated. Villain of the week type.
However, his snarky behavior, violent temperament, fancy victorian-boy-esque looks captured a lot of attention. He is a little freak but his direct words seem to bring out a lot of honesty in other characters.
Fun facts; His name is inspired by Edward Hyde. He is roomates and best friend/adopted sibling to Ilya. He makes an effort to be fancier than he is because he was born a bastard child and forced to be his fathers servant before he murdered his siblings and father and joined the army to escape (where he met ilya and ultimately got adopted into her family <333)
Art - Him, and him as a chibi fighting the guy who rescued the person he kidnapped. They also fall in love
REDD - funny bully
I recently made an oc just to mess around with the players while they were in jail! Well, now one of them drank his blood and is forever connected to him. The other one got her finger broken cuz she poked him. He also had the prision keys the entire time but pretended to be a prisioner as well. What a menace! I love making horrible pests. His name is red cuz thats how the others refered to him, because I described him as having red hair and red eyes.
Isnt it funny how despite being a DM I never use my monster designs?! I find it a lot more interesting to make characters specifically meant to alter the course of the character development of my players. I love to change deeply and irrevocably! : D
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