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halsteadlover · 2 months

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𝐀 𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐧

*Pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female!Reader.

• Requested by anon: Could you please write a derek Morgan x reader smut where the reader and derek and the team obvi are on a case and while interviewing neighbors in the apartments the reader makes a stupid bet like "I bet whoever lives here is a hot single bachelor in his 20s" and then it's the opposite and when they are back in the car derek makes the reader pay up but with her panties and when she goes to get them back at the end of the day it leads to smut.

• Warnings: a really brief mention of a murder case (it’s just a sentence), dirty talk, cuss words, making out, semi-public foreplay (f. receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up you guyssss!!)

• Word count: 5.5K

• A/N: my first Derek fic 😭 I hope you like it guys, please let me know what do you think about it and also comment, like and reblog, it’d mean the world. Sending lots of love to everyone ❤️

What part of your brain thought it was a good idea to make a bet with Derek Morgan?

You didn’t even know why you did it, it must’ve been the pleasure of losing because there was no way on earth you would’ve won.

You and Morgan were about to go interview a witness for a case you were working on: a serial killer who was killing his victims by setting fires. You were walking next to each other while you thought of some way to make what was going to be a long and boring afternoon, interesting.

You and Derek had a, well… Particular relationship, to say the least.

Months prior you and him had started to have sex. It started out as a purely physical thing as you had always been very attracted to each other, but as time went on you found yourselves spending time together and enjoying each other’s company even outside of a sexual sphere.

Your relationship, both from a working and private point of view, had always been characterized by a playful banter, mischievous jokes, by the constant flirting so it wasn’t strange you both often found yourselves making bets aimed to make lose the other’s mind.

In fact, it was at that moment that you came up with an idea for a bet, however forgetting he took them so seriously it seemed like his life depended on it, especially since most of the time he won, and the penances were of a sexual nature. Of course you didn’t mind losing one bit.

“I bet whoever lives here is a hot single bachelor in his twenties,” you said, pointing to the apartment where you were heading, ready to question the witness. He grinned and glanced at you, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Oh baby girl, you still don’t understand it’s a losing battle?”

“What’s the matter Agent Morgan, you afraid of losing?” You challenged him with the deliberate pleasure of teasing him and in fact he immediately gave in to your provocation.

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly in amusement. You arrived in front of the apartment door that had the number ‘23’ on its sign. You were standing facing each other while he thought about the penance, he would’ve make you do if you – most likely – lost.

Another evil, mocking grin appeared on his lips, and you immediately knew you were in trouble. “You’ll give me your panties when you lose.”

“If I lose.”

“When. But you can still back out.”

“Never.”

He held out a hand towards you but you didn’t miss the way his eyes roamed over your body from head to toe, checking you out without shame. Over time you had learned to understand what he was thinking, what was hidden behind his look and you almost caught fire because you immediately recognized that look, it was the one he gave you when he was imagining you naked in every possible and imaginable position.

And in fact, you weren’t wrong.

Just the thought of having your panties in his pocket, walking around and smelling you, was enough to make his dick stir in his pants.

You knew the odds of you winning the bet were slim, but your competitive nature made you shake Morgan’s hand, and he gave you another one of his panty-ripping smiles.

“Wipe that smirk off your face, don’t take the victory for granted.”

He raised his hands in surrender, chuckling. “I would never dare but be realistic darling. Do you know how low the odds are?”.

“What if I win?”.

“You won’t.”

“What if I win?” You repeated, crossing your arms over your chest.

He shrugged, very sure he’d win. “You’ll choose the penance.”

You thought about it for a moment and a mischievous smile appeared on your lips this time. “I’ll do a strip tease and a lap dance.”

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “How is that a penance? Baby I’d drop on my knees right now to make this happen...”

“…But you’ll be handcuffed, you won’t be able to touch me and I won’t make you come.”

He opened his mouth wide, feeling his dick twitch just at the thought. He had to force himself to think of something else since he didn’t want to question a witness with a raging hard on but it was awfully difficult when all he could do was imagine you strip teasing and grinding on his lap. “Fuck I don’t know if I should win or lose.”

“If you want to end up with blue balls then you have to hope to lose.”

You knocked on the apartment door, still maintaining eye contact with Derek and trying to hold back your laughter since you knew exactly what he was thinking. You took your eyes away from him only to let them travel down his body and to the crotch of his pants which was clearly prominent at that moment. You bit your lip as you looked back at his face and he glared at you.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered, feeling the situation getting even worse. Damn it, he felt like a damn horny teenager.

Before you could respond to his comment the door opened, revealing a person who couldn’t be more different from the object of your bet. He in fact was a she, a lady who couldn’t have been less than sixty years old.

Your smile dropped as the one on Derek’s face grew even more and, as you had already said, you wondered what part of your brain had thought it was a good idea to make that bet.

“Good morning. Can I help you?” she looked skeptically at both of you.

“Oh yes ma’am, you just made my day so much better,” he replied softly but glancing at you. “We’re FBI agents, may we ask you few questions?”

Over the next hour and a half you interviewed other witnesses near the fire scene and on your way to the car, Derek wouldn’t stop trying to get close to you and touch you.

“Derek stop it! We’re in public! God you’re so unprofessional,” you slapped one of his hands away that had been squeezing your ass for the last couple of minutes, trying not to laugh.

“There’s nothing professional about what we do, baby girl,” he replied with mock annoyance, “Plus I can’t help it, I can’t wait to rip your panties off.”

“Nuh uh mister, the deal was that I have to give you my panties not you taking them off me.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes as you approached the car but before you could get in he grabbed your hand and turned you towards him. He placed his hands on your face and as he pushed your back against the car door he crushed his lips on yours.

He didn’t care about passers-by in any way, in people’s eyes you might have looked like a couple who was passionately making out.

After the first few seconds of surprise, you immediately kissed him back, parting your lips and letting him slip his tongue into your mouth. You knew it was totally unprofessional to kiss your colleague in broad daylight while you were doing your job but all it took was for him to get close for you to lose your mind, no longer able to think clearly.

Your hands moved down his chest to encircle his waist, trying to pull him closer to you than his body already was. Your mouths moved in sync while he seemed to want to suck his soul out of you and although you were now used to kissing him, every time it was as if it was the first.

You almost moaned into the kiss, your body already on fire, wanting more. You wanted him so badly, you wanted his hands, his fingers, his mouth and his tongue all over you.

“Derek please…” you sighed when you broke away, his face still dangerously close to yours.

“Get in the car princess,” he ordered and his voice was so low and seductive that if he had asked you to give him a blowjob right there on the sidewalk you would’ve dropped on your knees without the slightest hesitation.

He opened the door for you and you giggled like a teenager before getting in, thanking him as you watched him walk around the car before getting in too.

“I would’ve fucked you in the car here and now if we weren’t in public. You’re so fucking hot baby,” he whispered against your lips after moving closer to you and taking your chin between his fingers. “But I’ll settle taking your panties off for now.”

He placed a hand on your breast and groped it before sliding it across your stomach to your jeans-covered pussy. You moaned as he began to touch you, making you squirm under his expert fingers.

“I bet you’re already wet, aren’t you honey?” He continued to tease you.

“Fuck Derek… They’ll see us…”

“You’re right,” he replied, stopping touching you, causing you to moan and grunt at the same time. “No one should look at what is mine.”

God Derek Morgan and the things he made you feel. You were starting to really hate him.

“You’re having so much fun aren’t you?”

He started the car but not before throwing you one last mocking and sexy as hell grin. “You have no idea how much.”

You squeezed your legs together in anticipation feeling the urge and desire grow more and more. You continued to look at him as he drove, observing every feature of his perfect profile with your hungry eyes.

How could someone be so perfect?

And it didn’t help he had one hand resting on your inner thigh as his thumb was stroking dangerously close to your intimate area. You didn’t know whether to hate him, to beg him to go higher or both but certainly the smug expression on his face made you want to punch him.

Derek drove to a hidden, dead end road, not caring the rest of the team was probably waiting to hear from both you and him.

He kissed you breathless again, threading a hand into your hair. But he didn’t stay there for long as he moved down your chest again, wasting no time in groping your breasts again, until he reached your pussy again.

“God Derek you’re driving me crazy,” you hissed as you struggled to keep control. He kissed you again and unbuttoned your pants and you lifted your hips before your brain could even process the movement, allowing him to slide them down your thighs. You took off your shoes, slipping your pants off.

He slipped his hands into your underwear and a loud moan escaped your lips that Derek felt right in his dick. “As I imagined… So fucking wet.”

“Fuck yes just like that,” you sighed as his fingers drew circles on your clit. You gripped the sides of the seat as if searching for a leverage, pleasure flowing through your veins.

He knew where to touch you, he knew HOW to touch you, what to do to make you lose your mind and control.

“I'm dying to taste this pussy, look at you soaking up my fingers,” he whispered in your ear, pressing his lips to your neck and sucking on your skin but being careful not to leave any marks. The team already didn’t give you any respite suspecting there was something between you, he certainly didn’t want to give them clear proof.

Two of his fingers slipped easily inside your wet pussy, curling inside you and touching that spongy spot that made you moan and thinking you were about to ascend to heaven.

“Yes, yes, oh god yes,” you kissed him, spreading your legs even more to give him more access.

“You like that don’t you? My pretty girl loves being so dirty, letting me finger this pussy in public.”

You dipped your head back in pleasure, feeling the orgasm already building inside you.

He pulled his fingers out and you grunted at the loss and took off your panties, bringing them to his nose and deeply inhaling the scent that drove him so crazy: you and sex. “Now I really don’t know how I’m going to go through the whole day without being hard knowing I have your panties here,” he spoke up as he stuffed them into his pocket. “But we should go back.”

What?

“Derek you can’t leave me like this!”.

“Oh I can and I will, we shouldn’t let the others think we might be doing something shouldn’t we?”

“You fucking piece of shit.”

He burst out laughing and you nearly punched him in his handsome face.

You were furious. Irritated.

You were furious, irritated but above all horny.

After that little stunt he had done in the car Derek had really left you like that, without an orgasm and with a mad desire to fuck.

The rest of the day was torture, especially having to work with other people while pretending you didn’t feel like you were on the edge the whole time. You didn’t spare Morgan some dirty looks after which he had to force himself not to laugh but he didn’t spare you those languid looks full of lust either.

It wasn’t easy for you but it wasn’t easy for him either since, unlike you, couldn’t hide his excitement so easily. Knowing he had your panties in his pocket and the memory of your wet pussy were giving him no respite.

In reality, you both loved that little game, teasing and torturing each other until the other lost his mind, even if… To be honest, wearing jeans without underwear was complete torture.

At the end of the day, when you were finally all in your own room, you took the opportunity to take a shower and put on a dress and the sexy lingerie you had put in your bag before leaving for the new case.

You giggled just thinking about Derek’s reaction.

You went to his room, knocking twice before he opened the door making your jaw drop and almost fall to the floor when you realized he was naked and only had a towel around his waist.

His body was still wet, sign he had just gotten out of the shower, the drops running down his sculpted chest that you wanted to lick off one by one.

“Oh man…” He sighed. “You’re breathtaking baby,” he began, shamelessly scanning your body from head to toe, a smirk on his lips. “I was wondering when you were coming.”

“You always opening the door like this, Agent Morgan?” You asked ironically before entering his room without even waiting for him to invite you.

“Woah woah woah, where do you think you’re going baby girl? Where is my kiss?” He scolded you, almost truly offended after closing the door behind him.

You giggled, but unable to take your eyes off his body and stop them from wandering hungrily over his figure.

“No, dry yourself first and then I’ll kiss you,” you replied before going to sit on the edge of the bed, placing your hands behind you on the mattress and tilting your head slightly as you looked at him.

He didn’t answer but came closer to you and placed two fingers on your chin, forcing you to lift your head and pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss that took the air out of your lungs.

“Jealous Agent Y/Ln?” He whispered an inch from your lips, referring to your initial question after making you get up from the bed.

“Not even a little bit, it was just an innocent question agent Morgan.”

Absolutely. You were 100% jealous.

But you knew from the way the corner of his mouth lifted in a twisted, mischievous smile he didn’t believe it one bit. “You know, being a profiler I thought you were better at hiding emotions. Lies don’t look good on you pretty girl.”

“That would be true if I had told a lie but that’s not the case, I’m not jealous at all,” you said with a confident tone as your gaze alternated between his eyes and his lips. He was so close and so tempting you felt like you were already losing patience.

“To answer the question, no, I don’t answer to anyone. Just you.”

“You? Derek Morgan?”.

He chuckled. “Strange right? But it seems like you’ve done some weird witchcraft on me because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“You already got in my pants, no need to be cheesy,” you retorted, biting your lip to keep from smiling.

He sighed, slightly shaking his head. “Always so cynical. What should I do with you?”

“Give me back my panties?”.

He raised an eyebrow. “Have you forgotten what the word ‘lose’ means?”.

“If I had known you liked them so much I would’ve bought you a new pair to wear you know.”

“You think you’re so funny don’t you?”. He grabbed your face with one hand, his mouth dangerously close to yours but never touching it.

You nodded with a smirk as you watched as his eyes were fixed on your lips. “Maybe you might like what I have now better.”

You took a step back and the look of pure confusion on his face was replaced by astonishment when he saw your hands lower the thick straps of your dress down your arms, then lowering the side zip and letting the dress fall around your feet.

The look of shock on his face was something you’d never forget.

Derek widened his mouth and eyes, letting his hungry gaze travel along your body wrapped in lace lingerie, studying every curve and inch of your skin. A warm feeling spread in your lower abdomen and it was amazing how just the way he looked at you was enough to turn you on.

“Holy shit…” he breathed out, “You… Are… You… Holy fuck…” he continued stuttering, unable to form a single meaningful sentence.

“Wow did I really manage to surprise Agent Morgan?” You giggled, your cheeks flushed and stomach filled with fluttering butterflies, knowing you had such an effect on him. Derek Morgan – the man who with a single smile and a look could’ve make rows and rows of women fall at his feet – was drooling over you, looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world.

“I’ll answer you when some blood returns to my brain.”

Your gaze trailed down his body and your insides clenched at the sight of his prominent erection beneath the towel around his waist. Your mouth watered just thinking about what was underneath that single fabric, imagining his dick in your mouth, in every hole in your body as he filled you completely.

“You look spectacular Y/n, my god” he murmured, his chocolate brown eyes still on your body and never on your face. You could see him struggling in not knowing what to pay more attention to, your breasts which were perfectly highlighted by the lace that gave that see-through effect while it showed the shadow of your nipples, if the hold-ups that surrounded your thighs that Derek wanted nothing more than to mark and bite or your pussy also covered in matching lace in which he wanted to dive and feed on it until he drown himself to death.

Derek moved closer to you, closing the small distance between the two of you. “Turn around. Show me this beautiful ass that torments me in my sleep.”

The tone of his voice alone made you almost beg him to do anything he wanted. You didn’t have to be told twice and you turned around, your skin on fire as you felt his penetrating gaze on you as he observed and studied every millimeter of your body.

You heard Derek exhale a deep breath behind you. “A fucking goddess. You’re absolutely mesmerizing.”

A rush of shivers gave you goosebumps as he placed his rough hands on your arms, stroking them slowly before moving up and moving your hair from your shoulders and letting it fall along your shoulder blades, leaving your neck exposed. His lips began to plant kisses on your skin and the mere contact made you sigh and tilt your head to the side, giving him more access.

“Do you have any idea how crazy you drive me?” he whispered in your ear and you clenched your hands into fists, pressing your nails into your palms in an attempt to release the frustration you felt. Every second that passed while he didn’t touch you as you wanted there was a shred of your sanity that was shattered.

You shook your head, realizing you hadn’t answered yet.

His hands went down your arms again, then moving up your hips until they reached your ass. You let out a gasp when his fingers tightened around the flesh of your ass, squeezing it, groping it with the sole purpose of torturing you and leaving you eager for more.

“God the things I want do to you baby, you can’t even imagine.”

“Do it Derek, do whatever you want to me… I need you.”

“I love feeling you so desperate for me.”

An empty feeling came over you as his fingers let go of your ass, moving to your hips. However, you moaned when he pushed his body against yours, pressing his erection against the curves of your ass and grinding against you without shame or restraint.

“Fuck Derek,” you murmured, now on the verge of losing your mind.

One of his hands ended up around your throat, forcing you to bend your head and rest it on his shoulder while the other cupped one of your breasts, palpating it over the top of your bra. You sighed, rubbing your ass against his hard dick as you couldn’t wait for it to stretch your pussy.

“That’s what you do to me, you make me so hard I can’t even think straight anymore.” He pinched your hard nipple from above the fabric. “You have no idea how much I want to rip this off of you but I know you’d kill me,” he chuckled in your ear.

“I don’t give a shit.” You blurted out, not evens embarrassed about how fast you said it.

“What do you want baby? Talk to me.”

God it was so damn hard talking when you were so horny you couldn’t even remember your name, the denied orgasm making things worse.

“You. Fuck me, please. I need you so badly Derek.”

He tightened his hand lightly around your neck, cupping your chin then turning your head towards him and before you knew it he slammed his lips onto yours, sucking the breath from your body as his tongue explored your mouth in a sloppy, deep kiss.

He slowly slid the fingers of his other hand – that until a few seconds before were on your breast – along your chest, your lower abdomen, touching your needy and drenched pussy with his fingertips. You whined during the kiss, spontaneously lifting your hips to try and meet his fingers.

God you were hating him at that moment.

“I can smell your wetness from here, is my baby horny for me?” he whispered on your lips swollen and red from the impetuous kiss.

“I’ll fucking kill you right now Morgan I swear to god.”

He laughed and your stomach clenched in on itself. “Don’t worry baby, I’m here. I’m going to fuck your brains out, so good you won’t even be able to get up when I’m done with you.” This time it was your pussy that clenched when you squeezed your legs together for some friction. Derek let go of your throat and began to play with your panties. Your breath hitched as he slowly began to lower them, trailing them down your legs.

“I think I’ll keep these too,” he whispered even as his voice came loud and clear to your ears. You turned your head to the side so you could look at him and let out a ragged sigh when you saw him kneeling behind you. His eyes shone under the light of the hotel room as they looked at you with so much intensity that they alone would’ve been enough to set you on fire.

He left a kiss on your ass, making you gasp to the point of embarrassment as he bit your skin and groped your now bare ass. “One day I’ll fuck this pretty little ass too and you’ll love every second of it.”

“You can start by fucking my pussy now.”

He chuckled again as he stood up. He placed a hand on your heated back, inviting you to lean on the bed in front of you and you obeyed, resting your hands on the bed and giving him a perfect view of your ass.

“I can see from here how wet you are baby girl,” he moved closer to you, his bare thighs touching yours and then you realized he had removed the towel from his waist.

God have mercy on me.

“I’ll eat this beautiful pussy later but now all I can think about is fucking her so good,” he said as his fingers brushed against you and this little contact, combined with his dirty words, made you squirm with anticipation. “After all, you deserve it after being such a good girl all day.”

You felt him place his tip near your entrance and you both moaned as he slid his dick against your folds, wetting it with your fluids. He provoked you, tortured you with every motion, it was what he was best at, he knew which points to touch to drive you crazy and leave you painfully longing.

“Derek please, I want you so much,” you whined in a pathetic tone full of lust and desire as he continued to penetrate you with just the tip and then pull out. You hated him and wanted him at the same time, so much it hurt.

“What do you want, princess?” His hands gripped your hips and he leaned over you, pressing his lips to your skin before leaving damp, wet kisses all over your back.

“Fuck me.”

“Fuck,” he hissed through gritted teeth before lining his dick up with your entrance and finally filling you.

“Oh God yes, you feel so god Derek.” You panted vigorously, your heart beating so hard it almost stopped as you felt his soft and especially bare skin touching every corner of you.

He remained still for a few moments, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to maintain control of his body. You were so wet and it felt so good being inside you, Derek feared that with just one push he would’ve come on the spot.

“Baby please… Move…”

Baby.

Fuck.

That simple little word had no business making his insides twist like he had. You were used to calling each other nicknames, it wasn’t new, but there was something in that ‘baby’ you said: perhaps it was the vulnerability with which you pronounced it, breathless and as if he was the only one who could save you, the way your voice was so full of desire.

Derek pulled out before thrusting into you again with a strong thrust so deep if it hadn’t been for his hands firmly gripping your hips you would’ve probably fallen forward.

“You have no idea what you do to me, fucking hell you drive me crazy,” he breathed out, head tilted back and eyes closed as his dick pounded into you like he was angry.

You tried to formulate a meaningful sentence but as you opened your lips only gasps and moans came out. He was fucking you so deeply that with each thrust you felt a piece of your brain coming out of your head and your soul out of your body.

Exactly like he promised.

All the hidden frustration made its way and exploded like a time bomb, not much time passing until even the orgasm began to build inside you.

Your face was pressed into the sheets of the bed, your breathing heavy and quickening as your hands clenched the fabric into a fist. “Derek…” you whimpered in pleasure as you pushed your pelvis towards him with each thrust. It didn’t seem to be enough though, you wanted more and more.

One of his hands continued to hold your hips firmly while he slid the other along your back, until he reached your hair which he tightened in a fist forcing you to lift your head. His moans and groans sounded like music to your ears and you couldn’t contain the joy of knowing it was you who made him feel this way, it was you who made him lose control.

“Fuck I could stay inside you forever, you take me so well. This pussy was made for me,” he groaned as the tip of his dick hit your G-spot, making you see stars. You wanted to answer but when you opened your mouth all that came out were moans and sighs. “Just for me… You understand?”

“Just you baby, only you,” you babbled while loudly moaning, not caring one bit if someone could hear you having sex.

His lips kissed your shoulder, his tongue traced every inch of skin he could reach. “That’s right pretty girl…” he groaned in your ear, his sentence interrupted by another moan. “Fuck yeah you’re mine.”

“Holy shit baby… I’m about to come…” You managed to say and the orgasm that hit you full on like a truck gave you no mercy, didn’t let you escape as it sucked away your ability to breath. If it wasn’t for Derek’s hand still in your hair you would’ve collapsed on the mattress.

His thrusts became unhinged, even more out of control than they were before and it didn’t take long for him to reach his climax too. How could he resist? There was no chance, not when your pussy was tightening around his dick in the throes of orgasmic spasms, leaving him no escape.

Derek exploded inside you, emptying himself into you until the last drop of his seed filled your pussy, then leaking from your entrance and sliding down your thighs as he pulled out.

“Shit,” he breathed as you felt the weight of the mattress dip as he collapsed next to you. “You destroy me baby, how do you manage to do this every single time?”

You mumbled something nonsensical in response, eyes closed and too tired to say anything. He chuckled and stroked your hair, brushing it away from your face so he could get a good look at you.

You were so beautiful, ethereal, so mesmerizing it hurt and seeing that happy and pleased look on your face almost sent him to his knees, internally promising himself he’d fight every single person on earth just to always see you so relaxed and happy.

“How many women do you tell this?” you managed to say, opening one eye and keeping the other closed and a flock of butterflies exploded in your stomach when you saw the breathtaking smile he was looking at you with.

“If you think there is someone capable of making me feel what you feel, you’re very wrong. Like I already said, I don’t know what strange witchcraft you did to me but you really hooked me baby.” He propped himself up on one elbow and leaned towards you, pressing small kisses across your face, neck, shoulders and all the way up to your lips. “There is no one else since you came in in my life, I’m so obsessed with you it’s not even funny.”

You opened your second eye too, suddenly not so tired anymore. “Really?”

“Why, isn’t the same for you?” he asked, his stomach clenched with jealousy at the thought of a man laying a finger on you. “Please tell me no or someone help me I will kill every man who even looked at you, I’m an FBI agent and I know how to hide dead bodies in such a way that not even the families will ever find them.”

You burst out laughing, and rolled onto your back before throwing your arms around his neck so you could bring him closer to you and press your lips to his. “Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?”

“Y/n. Don’t fucking test me.”

“I’m just kidding,” your lips brushed against his before planting another small kiss on them. “There couldn’t be another man even if they forced me, you’ve really messed up my life Agent Morgan and I’m pretty much obsessed with you too.”

“That better be. We’re exclusive since the day I kissed you in that elevator,” he grumbled. “God I love when you call me baby,” he then sighed happily and the way his mood shifted so quickly made. Your fingers caressed his soft, perfect skin and he mumbled with contentment. You noticed how his pupils were so dilated the chocolate surrounding them had almost disappeared. “Mine, only mine.”

“And you’re mine darling, I’m an FBI agent too and I know a thousand ways to make deaths look like accidents.” He pressed his lips to yours again, kissing you so deeply your heart almost stopped in your chest.

Derek Morgan would be the death of you, you were certain of that.

“Just give me five more minutes and I’ll show you how much we belong to each other princess, how much I look, think and breathe for you only.”

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onadarklingplain · 5 months

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it might be January now, but we shouldn’t let that stop us from pausing and giving thanks for all of the joint posts, flirty post-race interviews, and homoerotic drivers parade moments that 2023 provided.

the year started strong with Alex being deranged about George on the Fast and the Curious podcast and posting about George’s birthday (#BadBoys4Life). George also moved to Monaco at some point and would later talk about how now that he was around Alex all the time, he was the happiest he had ever been in his life (this is a verbatim quote offered up completely freely fyi).

but all that was a merely precursor for things to come.

indeed, we had driver’s parades galore, and umbrella moments literally whenever it was wet (this feels true, don’t fact-check me on it). we had heart eyes so big before Vegas that it literally made the official F1 highlights video. we had George breaking into the Wiliams garage AGAIN. Alex said he would eat George if they were the last two people on earth, and all of the tumblr girlies obsessed with the erotic thematics of cannibalism lost their minds (it’s me, i’m tumblr girlies). we had George being president of the Alex fan club before Mexico, and Alex making dick jokes about a photo of George. George was bragging about being at Alex’s parent’s house, and when they filmed the 2019 rookie video, Liberty Media literally had no choice but to separate them with Lando, lest they start making out right then and there.

a year in review would not be complete, however, without due consideration paid to the JOINT POSTING, which is rightly reserved for only the most important of Galex dates. the cancellation of Imola brought us The Monaco Run joint post (aka a hard launch, let’s be real), and the machinations of Netflix brought us The Padel Date (authors note: if other drivers were involved in the Padel Date, i have deleted that information from my brain, and i don’t want to hear about it. and anyways, it doesn't matter because according to George's story, only Alex was there!! no other drivers need apply).

it’s difficult to place any joint post above another for they're all special in their own way, but i need to start a whole new paragraph for The Monza Road Trip. what a weekend to be alive and on tumblr and obsessed with George and Alex. fresh off the love fest that was Zandvoort (considered in depth further on), the two of them were on top form all weekend (it was another albon defense masterclass and we got SIX alboints!!). we had an umbrella moment. Sky gave us a long-form post-quali interview with just the two of them so that they could engage in flirty ribbing and play footsie. and to cap it all off, George told anyone who asked (and many people who didn’t) all about how they were driving home together, just the two of them, alone. there were breakdowns in group chats the internet wide, and i spent approximately one million hours wondering who would drive. as we later learned, even though it was Alex's car, George drove (like a madman). erotic to me! you simply love to see it, you simply love to imagine situations about it.

while Silverstone 2023 will go down in history as the day that we lost Alblondo, Galex carpooled to the track, and George was featured in Alex’s photo dump loitering by his motorhome with his feet out, it must be chiefly remembered for the frankly iconic press pen flirting that occurred. George literally crashed Alex’s interview to make sure that the world knew he was a “warrior”, as he had sustained a minor back injury in the car and was bleeding through his fireproofs. i could literally write ten thousand words and not even scratch the surface of this interaction. i simply urge you to rewatch.

but for the top moment of the year, in this writer’s humble opinion, we must turn to Zandvoort and the second-row Galex lockout. the head-to-head of their quali laps was deeply sexual, and George was out and out praising Alex on the radio. the driver’s parade gave us frankly uncooth flirting, and Alex was even flirting on instagram! i was dreaming of a Galex podium. George was dreaming of a Galex podium! i have never known such hope in my life! sadly the weather gods were not on our side, and despite Alex staying out for one million laps on slicks, Galex erotically spraying each other with champagne will have to remain in our dreams until 2024.

seven hundred words down, only one thing remains: to beg for the release the Qatar hot lap tape. when we found out that George had taken Alex on a hot lap before the Qatar GP, i remember thinking that i might be able to live with never seeing the video of it if it meant that they did it just for fun instead of as part of a PR stunt. that, my friends, was a lie. we now know that it wasn’t planned at all, and Alex had simply been jogging by and hadn’t been able to resist going for a ride with George. and still!! i need the tape!!!! mercedes admin, name your price.

while this is by no means comprehensive, this lil walk down memory lane was very fun for me, and i hope you had fun too! but more than anything, i hope 2024 blesses the galaxies of the world with [redacted for anti-jinxing reasons]. i’ll be praying nightly.

thank you to sarah @bighoneyenergy for working on this with me, and to everyone who made gifs and uploaded photos and wrote fic and sent asks and conducted scholarship and in general helped to make this such a fun year!

#if i look at this any longer i'm going to hit the link limit lmao #but god i love them!!#i hope people enjoy this lil walk down memory lane #aa23 #gr63 #galex #this isn't really a primer but so i can find it later #primer #f1

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m1ssunderstanding · 4 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous.

Always looking at each other with every single joke.

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers.

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way.

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly.

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says.

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay.

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy.

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then.

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here.

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken.

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking.

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison

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eksvaized · 1 month

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What if, in an alternate universe, instead of being battle-hardened men, TF141 was a famous band? I know it’s a silly thought, but I can’t get it out of my mind.

In my mind, Kyle would definitely be the lead vocalist, who once in a while picks up a guitar. Like, his charm is literally irresistible, and he has this unique quality of being able to carry even the most awkward interviews: he always has the perfect timing, knowing exactly when to joke, when to lightly shade other artists, and when to not-so subtly flirt with an attractive interviewer.

Unlike his bandmates, Kyle also tends to steer clear of trouble, avoiding the drama and controversy that so often follows other bands. His biggest scandal to date, if it can be considered one, was a rumour about his escapades during the band’s tour across America. He supposedly slept with 50 different women, each one from a different state.

And while it was indeed a big deal for such news to erupt within the music industry, it didn’t come as a complete surprise, given Kyle’s reputation as a notorious flirt.

Johnny — a bass player. No doubts about that. When he’s performing during concerts, he becomes a force of nature, a whirlwind of chaotic energy that doesn’t seem to understand the concept of slowing down or taking a break. He’s constantly on the move and bouncing around from one side to another. At times, he’ll dive off the stage to interact with fans, often leaving his signature on some over-excited female’s cleavage. Other times, he can be seen on his knees, utterly lost in the rhythm of the music, grinding to its beat with his eyes closed as if in a trance—this is the most calm he can be during a gig.

Apart from his musical talents and electric stage presence, Johnny has another talent - a knack for attracting attention, particularly from the media. His face graces the pages of magazines on a weekly basis—an occurrence that he insists is accidental rather than intentional. However, Johnny is notoriously outspoken—he has never been one to hold back his tongue or shy away from expressing his opinions, regardless of how they might be received. And so, while refreshing, his candidness often lands him in hot water, especially when his remarks come across as controversial.

Price, Price, Price. Definitely a band manager, and not because I think he couldn’t keep up with the guys. Oh no, that’s not it. It’s just that in my head, I can picture him standing in the unlit corner of the backstage, a lit cigar dangling between his fingers as he counts money. Every so often, he nonchalantly tucks some bills under his belt. He thinks he deserves some extra cash because, yet again, he had to clean up the mess that Johnny made.

What did Johnny do? Apparently, he decided to wear a kilt onstage. The choice of attire wasn’t the issue itself. The problem arose from his decision to go commando, wearing no briefs underneath. Price obviously had to execute some serious damage control and pay off literally everyone who came to see the band. Otherwise, the pictures of Johnny’s dick would have flooded the internet the second people left the venue.

And then there’s Riley, who dominates the drums. Like, just imagine him on the stage, drops of sweat forming on his furrowed brow as he immerses himself in the rhythm. His shirt is discarded, tossed aside as heat radiates off him in palpable waves, and his blond hair is in disheveled from the constant, frenzied head banging — literally every woman’s wet dream.

Sadly, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stalk him on social media and drool over his shirtless pictures because all of his accounts are set to private. And because of how secretive he is about his personal life—unlike Kyle or Johnny, who don’t mind talking in interviews and sharing some details about what they get up to—the media has nicknamed Simon a Ghost.

Further contributing to his elusive image is a running joke among fans and media that the band doesn’t actually consist of three members, but is instead a duo of Kyle and Johnny. This is primarily because Simon seldom appears at public events. Even when a promotional interview is arranged for an upcoming tour or album, he tries to avoid attending by using every possible excuse, only to be eventually forced into it by Price.

What about you, though? Well, the answer to the question is obvious. You’re definitely a fan, but not the crazy stalker type. You just buy all their albums, follow them on every social media platform, and occasionally watch an interview or two, so you could gawk at how handsome all of them are.

So, when the news broke that they were having a concert in a city near you, you didn’t hesitate for a second. You purchased a ticket almost immediately, a thrill of anticipation coursing through you at the thought of watching them perform live. And the actual concert? It was the most fun you’d had in a long time. Even the fact that you went alone didn’t dampen your mood.

However, probably the part of the night that sent your heart racing, that made it beat the fastest, was an unexpected turn of events. You somehow, almost miraculously, managed to find yourself in the band’s tour bus. You were there, with Kyle’s hand lightly resting on your lower back, as he introduced you to the guys - Johnny, Price, and even Simon.

His exit left a strange silence, and your mind began to race; Price’s behavior seemed to confirm the rumors that had been circulating about Kyle might be true.

Price, to your surprise, did not seem taken aback by your arrival. He extended a hand towards you, the shake firm and lingering just a tad bit longer than necessary. His gaze then shifted over your shoulder, landing on Kyle and giving him a warning look before he excused himself to step outside.

Next, you were introduced to Johnny, whose demeanor was almost as tactile as Kyle’s, if not more so. He greeted you with a bear-like hug that almost crushed your ribs, squeezing the air out of your lungs. His wide grin was so broad it seemed almost idiotic. After releasing you from the embrace, Johnny leaned in close to Kyle, whispering something barely audible yet unmistakably complimentary, something that sounded suspiciously like ‘this one’s stunning’, before giving Kyle a hearty, brotherly clap on the back. You did your best to brush off Johnny’s remark, to dismiss it from your mind for fear of your face betraying your embarrassment by turning a bright shade of red.

Simon was sitting near the tiny window that allowed the soft glow of the moonlight to filter in. His long legs were spread wide in a display of relaxed confidence, and one arm was nonchalantly tossed over the leather couch’s backrest. He had yet to utter a single word. Which he did when Kyle mentioned you were here because you fancied a picture with them. This caught Simon’s attention.

At that point, the only thing keeping you standing straight was Kyle’s hand on your back. You knew, deep down, that you should decline this offer. Your mind was practically shouting at you to return to your rented motel room, reminding you of the early train you had to catch the following morning.

Simon turned to look at you, and you had no choice but to avert your gaze because it literally felt like he was undressing you with his eyes, as his lips curled into a sly, almost predatory smirk. “How about something better?” He suggested, his voice filled with a teasing lilt. “Have a drink with us.”

But how could you possibly refuse such an offer from your favourite band? Especially when you found yourself living the dream of every fan girl out there.

It was too tempting to resist.

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earlgreytea68 · 5 months

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The Fall Out Boy Year in Review

Because did anything else happen in 2023?????

This was a band that started this year with a bunch of people with all these theories that they were going to announce their retirement and they ended the year rejuvenated, reenergized, ready to go.

Let me count the ways Fall Out Boy was amazing this year:

At the very beginning of the year, they gave a performance, and Pete and Patrick did a pre-show interview, and Pete leaned his hand on Patrick’s shoulder and they grinned and grinned at each other and it was amazing and it was like, “Is this how the year is going to go????” AND LO, THAT’S HOW THE YEAR WENT.

The show at the Metro, when they threw Calm Before the Storm into the setlist and it felt so extraordinary and the crowd just shouted every word at them and then they played their first “Saturday” of the year and Patrick said how it always means a lot to them but it means more at home, YOU SEE, THE WHOLE YEAR WAS LIKE THIS.

They went to a gay bar and Pete and Patrick approvingly joked about sucking dick, so YEAH, THEN THAT HAPPENED.

Pete said that at least once a week he was told by people that their faces would melt off if they played this song live, so he wanted to see faces melting off, and then Patrick barreled into Headfirst Slide and the crowd was so loud at him that he let them take the “get unique” line, grinning the whole time, EVERYTHING WAS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

I’m five points in and just getting to the fact that they released a new album and it was incredible from start to finish, every single song was amazing and extraordinary and so very them and so very what it’s like to be alive in 2023. THE ALBUM WAS GREAT AND WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH ON ITS OWN BUT THEN SO MUCH MORE STUFF HAPPENED.

Then they ran around promoting this album and Patrick said that Pete is his reason for getting out of bed in the morning and that’s one of, like, sixteen different proclamations of adoration about Pete that he made in a span of a week BECAUSE THE WHOLE YEAR WAS JUST LIKE THIS.

Then they went on tour and somehow got it into their heads to play a new song every night, just, like, why not, right, just pulling all the most meaningful songs of their career out of their back pockets as if they had never given the impression that they would never, ever play that song, BUCKLE UP, THE WHOLE RIDE WAS JUST BEGINNING.

Pete gave a speech about how he doesn’t lay under a blanket thinking about being dead anymore, oh my god, these boys who figured out finally how much they’re loved, HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED IS AMAZING.

We got to watch Pete grow and develop all of his little concert speeches and then Pete was like, “Oh, also, I’ve decided to add in this feature called Riff with Patrick,” and all this segment was was them grinning at each other, because WHY NOT JUST ADD THIS TO EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR.

They released an updated version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and it’s fantastic and was a big hit for them and anyone who likes to think Fall Out Boy doesn’t know how to write lyrics because it’s not chronological needs to just think for two seconds about it, THE SONG IS GREAT AND THE YEAR ALREADY HAD SO MUCH AND THEN ANOTHER SONG!!!

Patrick. Played. “Spotlight.” Like. Unthinkable. Absolutely unthinkable. He played “Spotlight” and the crowd sang with him and he looked out and laughed and said, “That’s a lot of lights,” AND THEN THE YEAR COULD HAVE ENDED BUT IT DID NOT.

PATRICK PLAYED THE DRUMS, sorry, I will never be over that, ever, ever, ever, ever.

At some point in there Pete gave an interview with a rabbit puppet on his hand? And Patrick petted the puppet very carefully???? WHY WAS THIS YEAR LIKE THIS??????

Patrick sang “I’ve Got a Dark Alley” so gentle, so beautiful, so gorgeous, that it was like kintsugi being done right in front of our eyes, it still makes me cry to think of his version of that song, ALL THE GENTLENESS AND HOPE IN THIS EMO BAND THIS YEAR.

Patrick heard Pete struggling and turned to him to play “Bob Dylan” directly at him until he found his place, BECAUSE THAT WAS JUST HOW THIS YEAR WENT.

Meanwhile Patrick went stumbling over unfamiliar lyrics and Pete careened across the stage to get to him to rescue him, BECAUSE, AGAIN, THIS IS THEM IN 2023.

I went to a concert personally and they played me “Sweet Caroline” and “I’m Shipping Up to Boston” so THAT ALSO HAPPENED THIS YEAR AND IT WAS AMAZING AND PERFECT.

Patrick suggested they play “Pavlove.” ??? Hang on, read that again. Patrick. Suggested. They. Play. “Pavlove.” And then they. Played it. Like, yup, ALSO THAT HAPPENED.

Patrick said, quick and sincere in an unplanned aside, that he’s pretty sure this is the best tour they’ve ever done, EVERYONE WAS SO IN LOVE ALL YEAR.

Patrick suddenly decided to grow his hair long?????? Still don’t even know what that was all about, he was just like, 2023, FOLKS!!!

They played a Halloween show in the most Them costumes ever chosen BECAUSE WHY NOT?????

Then to close the year out Patrick dragged out “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” ????? Like, again, WHY NOT???????

AND THEN “PAVLOVE” SHOWED UP ON STREAMING SERVICES, BECAUSE WHY NOT??????

#fall out boy #fob #sorry there are no links #i was being very lazy

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burningvelvet · 11 days

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I finished Moby Dick. So, to continue my former post(s) documenting my thoughts, here we are (spoilers ahead):

captain ahab: i am once again asking hast thou seen the white whale

Narrator, for the 5 millionth time describing captain ahab: "MONOMANIACAL. MONOMANIAC. MONOMANIA."

I was thinking "the homosexual themes everyone talks about are really exaggerated apparently…" and then I got to the chapter about sperm squeezing

Stubb meeting with the French in chap 91 had the exact vibe of a filler episode on a comedy sitcom

there are a lot of moments that reminded me of The Office ngl like i could just imagine stubb in the little interview chair just talking. so much meme material. he's seriously just doing his own thing. the little random characters like the blacksmith and carpenter just talking shit and side-eyeing ahab in the background lmaoooo

Saint George didn't kill a dragon, it was a whale #THETRUTHREVEALED #WHALETRUTHERS

It would have been hilarious if the British people told Ahab that they already killed Moby Dick already before he could get to it. I was so hoping that would happen. Bonus points if it was the Rachel after he'd turned them away.

Ahab discusses the topic of madness a lot. It's almost like he's… mad...

I vote Ahab for the most Byronic hero to ever Byronic… Heathcliff and Rochester have nothing on him… The origin of the Byronic hero, Byron's titular character from the narrative poem Childe Harold, is literally mentioned by name in the novel and had to be a blatant inspiration - it could not be more obvious! (I have yet to encounter the famed Byronic heroes of Russian literature, most notably Eugene Onegin, a work where Byron is also blatantly name-dropped).

Everyone thinking Queequeg was dying and having a coffin made to his measurements and filled with grave goods at his direction and then him literally climbing into the coffin to test it out and then waiting silently to die…. then all of a sudden getting better and saying he chose to recover bc he remembered he had something on his to-do list….. iconic

Ishmael referring to Queequeg as "my Queequeg…" omg. Queerqueg

Queequeg drawing figures like the ones on his tattoos omg… au story where Queequeg is an artist/tattoo artist when???

I was literally saying "AWWWWW" out loud when Ahab and Pip were having their little moments

The irony of Ahab abandoning the Rachel then it coming back for Ishmael… the coffin lifeboat… etc… good stuff…

okay ahab is my man but yeah he was an asshole to the captain of rachel.

also feel bad for tashtego. he wanted that gold doubloon so bad and ahab was like SIKE, MOTHERFUCKER! umm tashtego did not get cut out of a whale by queequeg to deal with ur shit ahab!

Once again wanting a Black Sails/Moby Dick AU… I found this essay about the similarities between Flint/Ahab https://ijms.nmdl.org/article/view/22389/14361

They only have like 2-3 little moments together but like… Starbuck/Ahab kind of outdoing Ishmael/Queequeg there for a moment… chaps 132/134… oh my godddddddddddddd whyyyyyyy

Captain Ahab's moments in chapters 36/37 AAAAAHHHHH you will see me being normal about this

I noted some of my favorite Ahab moments/chapters and they are 36/37/41/70/99/108/109/113/115/116/119/125/129/132/134/135. Like I may seriously just re-read those chapters (no offense to Melville's whale facts, Stubb's jokes, & Pip's insanity)

the end is kind of similar to the great gatsby in the sense that you finally realize the entire novel was actually written for him to cope with his grief-related trauma & then suddenly it all makes sense. the lingering, the sentimentality regarding seemingly insignificant details or people, the meandering/digressing/procrastinating getting to the end, etc.

there are actually several moments -- i don't know if he actually referred to ahab or the others in past-tense specifically, but there were several moments where i felt like i kind of thought he was giving away the end before he did (it wasn't a shock to me bc i read about the end prior, but still)

#moby dick #herman melville #my reviews #reading opinions #book thoughts #book opinions #american literature #english literature #literature #lit #classic literature #captain ahab #melville #books #reviews #bookblr #spoilers #moby dick spoilers

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thekillingvote · 9 months

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No Birds Allowed: Batman without Robin

The usual claim is that Jason Todd was singularly hated by audiences. Dick Grayson, Carrie Kelley, and Tim Drake are proper, beloved Robins—and Jason Todd is the one and only outlier so unlikable that audiences killed him off by popular vote.

But this claim ignores a massive piece of the puzzle—the Robin role has long been treated as an outdated remnant of a childish era, not only by a significant share of Batman fans, but also by Batman creative teams. While there were definitely fans who hated Jason Todd, he was at least partly chosen to be killed as a scapegoat for some long-standing complaints about the Robin role in Batman stories.

The 1988 poll to kill Jason Todd wasn't just a poll to kill Jason Todd—the poll to kill Robin was a poll to kill Robin.

Fan letters columns from Batman #221 and Detective Comics #398, reacting to Dick leaving for Hudson University in Batman #217 (1969):

Denny O'Neil Batman/Detective Comics writer (1970-1980) Batman group editor (1986-2000) on sending Robin away to Hudson University:

Dan Greenfield: Actually, last night I went back through my comics and the one thing that always strikes me is that before you came onto the character, they’d already made the decision to have Robin leave. Robin was up at Hudson University and was used sparingly from that point forward. Denny O’Neil: Well, that was a conscious decision of mine. Greenfield: Oh! O’Neil: Yeah, I mean … I had been offered Batman a year before I did it. Greenfield: No kidding? I wanna hear this. O’Neil: Because that was in the (Batman TV show) camp thing. The comics were very half-heartedly following in the footsteps of the camp because it was having a palpable effect on circulation. That’s not always true but it was in that case. Camp as in the sense — as opposed to the more erudite sense — this one-line joke about: “I loved this stuff when I was 6 and now that I’m 28 and I have a bi-weekly appointment with a therapist and a little, mild drug habit and two divorces, ‘Look how silly it is.'” I would go into the most literary bar in Greenwich Village on (Wednesday) or Thursday evenings and there would be writers and poets and college professors, all looking at Batman! But when that was over, it was over. It was like somebody turned a switch. And that’s when (editor) Julie (Schwartz) said, in his avuncular way, did I have any ideas for Batman? And at that point, I wasn’t going to be asked to do camp. I was going to be asked to do anything within the bounds of good taste, etc., that I wanted to.

O'Neil, quoted from “Notes from the Batcave: An Interview with Dennis O’Neil” in The Many Lives of The Batman: Critical Approaches to a Superhero and His Media:

There was a time right before I took over as Batman editor when he seemed to be much closer to a family man, much closer to a nice guy. He seemed to have a love life and he seemed to be very paternal towards Robin. My version is a lot nastier than that. He has a lot more edge to him.

O'Neil in 2015:

Modern Batman does not do camp. He has to evolve but to stay true to the concept he has to stay lonely. The kids, there shouldn't be many. Keep him the lone, obsessed crusader and the stories will be better. We did a story called Son of the Demon. It told a story where he had a kid, a baby. It wasn't in continuity. These days, the kid came back and became the new Robin, and I hear that Batman's got a few more running around.

Jim Starlin, Batman writer (1987-1988), writer of A Death in the Family:

I tried to avoid using [Robin] as much as I could. In most of my early Batman stories, he doesn’t appear. Eventually Denny asked me to do a specific Robin story, which I did, and I guess it went over fairly well from what I understand. But I wasn’t crazy about Robin.

I thought that going out and fighting crime in a grey and black outfit while you send out a kid in primary colors was kind of like child abuse. So when I started working on Batman, I was always leaving Robin out of the stories, and Denny O’Neil who is the editor finally said, "You gotta put [Robin] in."

youtube

In the one Batman issue I wrote with Robin featured, I had him do something underhanded, as I recall. Denny had told me that the character was very unpopular with fans, so I decided to play on that dislike. [...] At that time, DC had this idea that they were gonna do an AIDS education book, and so they put a box out and wanted everybody to put in suggestions of who should contract AIDS and perish in the comics. I stuffed it with Robin. They realized it was all my handwriting so they ended up throwing all my things out. About six months later, Denny came up with this idea of the call-in thing. [...] I didn’t find out about it until I came back [from Mexico] and found out that, just as I expected, my ghoulish little fans voted him dead. But by a much smaller margin than I’d imagined. It was only like 72 votes out of 10,000, so statistically it was next to nothing.

Dan Raspler, assistant editor/associate editor to Denny O’Neil (1988-1990):

Denny wasn’t really interested in comics continuity, and he didn’t like superheroes. And if you read his work, you see his influence was really a pushing away from the conventions at the time—it was growing old, that sort of Golden Age-y, Silver Age-y stuff, and Denny sort of modernized it, and he never stopped feeling that way. Jim Starlin’s Batman appealed to Denny. It was a little more ‘down to Earth. Nobody liked Robin at the time. For a while Robin was not—it didn’t make sense in comics. Comics were darkening, and so having the kid was just, it was silly, and even at the time I kind of didn’t. Now Robin is my favorite all-time character, but at the time when I was twenty-whatever, I accepted kicking Robin out, the short pants and all the rest of it.

Comic shop owner Phil Beracha on A Death in the Family, quoted in The Sun Sentinel (October 22, 1988):

"I got 100 copies, and I don't expect them to last past the weekend," said Phil Beracha, owner of Phil's Comic Shoppe in Margate. "I usually get 50 copies of Batman. I doubled my order, and I still expect to sell out." The readers voted right, Beracha said. "Robin is an outdated concept. He was created in the `40s, and back then in a comic book you could have a kid beating up grown men. I don't think that works today."

Writer Steve Englehart, quoted in "Batman, the Gamble; Warner Bros. is betting big money that a 50-year-old comic book vigilante will be a `hero for our times'" in the Los Angeles Times (June 18, 1989):

Writer Steven Englehart, who did a series of Batman stories in Detective Comics, also worked up some movie treatments. In a letter to Comics Buyer's Guide, he revealed the approach he had in mind, which would have pleased Batfanatics: "My first treatment had Robin getting blown away in the first 90 seconds, so that every reviewer in the country would begin his review with, `This sure isn't the TV show.' "

Michael Uslan, producer and film rights holder for the 1989 Batman film:

I only let Tim [Burton] see the original year of the Bob Kane/Bill Finger run, up until the time that Robin was introduced. I showed him the Steve Englehart/Marshall Rogers and the Neal Adams/Denny O'Neil stories. My biggest fear was that somehow Tim would get hold of the campiest Batman comics and then where would we be?

"Death Knell for the Campy Crusader" in the Orlando Sentinel (23 June 1989):

For most people, the name Batman summons up a picture of a clown in long johns, a Campy Crusader who - with the young punster Robin - ZAPed and POWed his way into our lives. That's the Batman that appeared on TV in the mid-'60s, and that's the Batman that the world at large knows. Such is the power of television. But this ludicrous image may become obsolete now that the new, $40 million Batman movie has opened. Robin is absent from the film, as are the perky Batgirl and the utterly superfluous Aunt Harriet of the TV series. And though the movie has plenty of sound effects, they don't appear on the screen as words, spelled out in neo-Brechtian absurdity.

Sam Hamm, writer for Batman (1989 live-action film):

The Case of the Disappearing Robin is high comedy. Tim (Burton) and I had worked out a plotline that did not include the Boy Wonder, whom we both regarded as an unnecessary intrusion. Really: Our hero was crazy to begin with. Did he have to prove it by enlisting a pimply adolescent to help him fight crime? Was Bat-Baby unavailable? But the studio was insistent: There was no such thing as solo Batman, there was only Batman and Robin. So, after holding off the executives for as long as we could, Tim and I realized we had better try to accommodate them. He flew up to my house in San Francisco and we walked around in circles for two days, finally deciding that there was no way to shoehorn Robin into our story. [...] We figured that if we managed to squeeze him in, the lame hacks who were making the sequel could worry about what to do with him next. When the film went into production in London, and ran seriously over budget, WB started looking for a sequence that could be cut to save money. And there was one obvious candidate: Intro Robin! So Robin was cut from the movie and shoved back to Batman Returns— from which he was cut yet again and shoved back to Batman Forever.

Grant Morrison on creating Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (written 1987-1988, published 1989) with Dave McKean (see the annotated script's fourth page):

The original first draft of the script included Robin. Robin appeared in a few scenes at the beginning then remained at Police Headquarters for the bulk of the book, where he spent his time studying plans and histories of the house, in order to find a way in to help his mentor. Dave McKean, however, felt that he had already compromised his artistic integrity sufficiently by drawing Batman and refused point blank over for the Boy Wonder — so after one brave but ridiculous attempt to put him in a trench coat, I wisely removed him from the script.

Paul Dini on Batman: The Animated Series (1992), as told in the 1998 book Batman Animated:

The Fox Network, on the assumption that kids won't watch a kid’s show unless kids are in it, soon began insisting that Robin be prominently featured in every episode. When Fox changed the title from Batman: The Animated Series to The Adventures of Batman & Robin, they laid down the law-no story premise was to be considered unless it was either a Robin story or one in which the Boy Wonder played a key role. Out were underworld character studies like “It's Never Too Late"; in were traditional Batman and Robin escapades like “The Lion and the Unicorn.” A potentially intriguing Catwoman/Black Canary team-up was interrupted in midpitch to the network by their demand, “Where's Robin?” When the writers asked if they could omit Robin from just this one episode, Fox obliged by omitting the entire story. Looking back, there was nothing drastically wrong with Robin's full-time insertion into the series—after all, kids do love him. Our major gripe at the time was that it started turning the series into the predictable Batman and Robin show people had initially expected it would be. For the first season, Batman had been an experiment we weren't sure would work. We were trying out different ways of telling all kinds of stories with Batman as our only constant. For better or worse, having a kid forced him, and the series, to settle down.

Christian Bale, star of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy (2008):

If Robin crops up in one of the new Batman films, I'll be chaining myself up somewhere and refusing to go to work.

Summed up

Among the keepers of Batman, there has been a vocal contingent arguing against the inclusion of Robin. They argue that Robin damages Batman's brooding, solitary persona. They argue that the concept of Robin is too ridiculous and fantastic for the grounded, gritty ideal of Batman. They argue that a respectable version of Batman shouldn't allow, encourage, or train "child soldiers" to endanger their lives fighting against violent evil-doers.

The original and most iconic Robin, Dick Grayson, has definitely benefited from his deep roots in DC lore and his consistent popularity among fans—and yet even he has been shunned from various Batman projects over the decades. When even he struggles to get his foot in the door, his successors face stiffer opposition.

So it's not quite correct to say that Jim Starlin hated Jason Todd. In his own words, Starlin wasn't fond of Robin, and his storytelling (most obviously A Death in the Family) set out to argue against Batman having any kind of "partner" at all. This, following the wildly successful comic that treated Barbara Gordon as a disposable prop. A growing audience welcomed the Dark Age, and the gruesome spectacles made of kid-friendly elements like Batgirl and Robin.

This trend could be broken by the upcoming sequel to The Batman and by the planned slate of upcoming DCU films. But most Robin fans will tell you that many movie-going Batman fans still have their doubts about Robin sharing Batman's spotlight.

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the-90s-music-colosseum · 8 months

Text

Round 2 Group D Match 6

expand for propaganda! (major wall of text warning)

Henry Rollins:

"Honestly, Johnny Mnemonic Henry with the glasses and the lab coat was pretty hot"

"A wonderful physical specimen. Plus he’s really funny and weird….best hot ones interview of all time."

"I want him to run me over with a bus"

Stephen Malkmus:

"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"

"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"

"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"

"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."

"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"

"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"

""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."

"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."

"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"

"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"

"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"

#most attractive 90s musician #polls #poll #90s music #tournament #henry rollins #black flag #stephen malkmus #pavement

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blythings · 5 months

Text

BAD IDEA RIGHT? | TOM BLYTH

— pairing: tom blyth x filmmaker!oc (fem.)

— summary: she thinks she is really, really smart unless it's about tom; and then she is really, really stupid.

— tags: exes-to-lovers, named oc, attempts at humour, mentions of other celebrities.

— notes: some parts were lifted from i-D mag's feature on emma seligman!

series masterlist | send me an ask →

liked by ayoedeberi, filmupdatesmain and others

alexisnakamura support women's rights and women's wrongs by watching bottoms, out today in theatres across the us and canada! ❤️🥊

this movie is our baby and i feel so lucky to have been able to make it with some of my best friends 🥹 special thanks to @/mari.arai for letting me cover the walls of our nyu dorm with dick jokes and agreeing to play isabel 💞

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nicholasgalitzine So proud of you guys

↪ alexisnakamura nicky 🥺❤️

mari.arai 🫡😘❤️ LOVE YOUUUU

↪ alexisnakamura went a little too hard with the dorm room manifestations and now we made a movie together??? INSANE

guzzlingplastic1000 the best dick joke writer of all time

❤️ by alexisnakamura

↪ user ruby accept my follow request PLEASE

user THIS IS MY FIGHT CLUB

user do you have any pics of mari and ruby covered in blood it's not for anything weird i promise hahahahaaaaa

user omg tom blyth liked this post

↪ user who??

↪ user he's gna be in the new hunger games movie!

↪ user wait i think i've seen him on ali's insta before

↪ user where? i just checked her profile and he's not in any of her posts

↪ user maybe she deleted them????

liked by kaiagerber, tomblyth and others

i_d Bottoms is a delight because it’s a rare breed of big studio production with a compelling original premise, following Josie (Ayo Edebiri) and PJ (Rachel Sennott), two queer teen dirtbags on their circuitous quest to get laid.⁠ ⁠

The movie been called “one of the most quotable films of the decade”, “blisteringly funny”, an “exercise in kamikaze feminism” and more, whilst holding a score of 96% on reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.⁠ ⁠

But when we speak, director @/alexisnakamura only wants to lament on her new bangs. “Impulsively cutting your bangs at 5am is peak girlhood,” she says with the jittery intonation of a girl in her twenties.

Hit the link in bio to read Alexis's full interview with i-D on imposter syndrome, meeting friend and close collaborator Mari Arai in college, situating her bisexuality in her filmmaking and more.⁠

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user relatable queen

user she's so pretty 😩

user she sounds exhausting to be around LMAOO

↪ user ^^^ ↪ user fr it's not a good look considering she's relatively new to the industry ↪ user so she's meant to just be nice and likeable? give me a break 🙄 also "relatively new" is a stretch when bottoms is her 3rd movie

user "i feel like i'm constantly going through something" same

user is she dating tom blyth?

↪ user i think she used to but they broke up ages ago ↪ user they still like each other's posts tho ↪ user an amicable breakup then? ↪ user omg i want them to work together

liked by user, user and others

nakamuraupdates ali's stories from this morning!

user not death by a thousand cuts

user someone check on our girl

#tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x oc #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth fic #coriolanus snow imagine #fic: i wish you would #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow x oc

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munchkinmarauder · 4 months

Text

My review of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver

Overall I'll give it a generous 4/5 stars and I'm excited to see where this series takes up but I do have some gripes with it

Also lots of stuff from Orlando's AITP X-Men Monday interview pops up so check it out as we may have some hidden clues on what's next

Spoilers below

Overall a good set up issue with some fun moments. Some of my fears were exaggerated but some of those expected fears did mean I didn't enjoy the issue as much as I hoped. However I'm fault happy overall and keen for the rest of the series

The good-

- a series with the twins as coleads has been long overdue. I'm so happy to see it finally happen. Fun fact this is the first marvel series to be headlines by a sibling duo.- for the most part the twins dynamic and fight felt like a proper sibling fight. You could feel the weight of their long history and the multitude of things left unsaid and resentments.

- it's nice to see Wanda being the one clearly at fault for a fight between them for a change

- while the twins are little orange I appriciate the commitment to showcasing the twins as visible people of colour. It was long needed. I do think they (and Luna and Tommy should be more visibly brown). I also am enjoying the art and the use of the vibrant colours in general.

- I like the mystery being set up with why the twins are being targeted and the twist that while Magneto did write the letter he wasn't the one who sent it. I'm not as curious at the letter contents as I thought I would be. It seems he's being cruel because he's a dick to Pietro but let's see. I also really am excited to know why it's both twins and the combination of them together that has the giver upset. Lore and power upgrade for born twins? I hope so. Wanda being a universal threat is a given so I am way more curious about what they'll do with Pietro

- I think it was a good move to make a joke about is or isn't Magneto the bio dad at the start and shoot it down. I would love for the retcon to be undone I just don't think it has a place in this story about the bond between the twins. Magneto doesn't need to overshadow the series more than he has already for what it's worth I do think the comics are leading up to a Magnet fam reunion with most of its members appearing in major comics this year.

- it being acknowledged that Magneto was cruel to Pietro, killed him and treated the twins unequally. I have gripes with this I'll set out below but given how biased Orlando is towards Magneto this was good to see.

- the Luna, Tommy and Monet cameos made me so happy! I'm glad Orlando seems fond of Luna and I hope she and Monet join Tommy in helping Pietro. Even if the ladies are just cameos it's still a nice touch.- I liked the contrast where the fuming twins lash out with their powers. Wanda destroys her shop and Pietro is ranting but checking up on loved ones while he does so. They are each others ying and Yang.

- we're lucky the Wizard is a drama queen cause his snipers seem pretty competent and if they'd used regular bullets this series would be automatically over lol. I do also think the Wizards team called Pietro to upset him. Futher and not Wanda to ensure the twins wouldn't be able to contact each other.

The bad

- the writing for Wanda was better than Pietro. This feels more like a Wanda series so far but it's early days so let's see. Even though Wanda is the one initially in the wrong she seems to be treated more sympathetic by the narrative and of course she has more page time than her brother.

- Pietro's past appearances in SW made me a bit unsure about how Orlando will write Pietro, his takes in the comic themselves are quite superficially though he talks about Pietro very passionately in Interviews. Nothing really changed that opinion here.

- we didn't get enough of the twins interacting and this is supposed to be a series about their relationship. It would have been nice to have a little more of them getting along so the fight felt more impactful. An infinity comic with the two might have been a good idea.- I hate the Pietro fears Wanda thing Orlando introduced as well as the Pietro manipulated Wanda for HoM. I don't think Steve actually read that comic because Wanda herself in that comic said all her brother was doing was protecting her cause the X-Men and Avengers wanted to kill her and Magneto was willing to let them. Having Wanda say this was off-putting. Had it been purely in angry it would be somewhat forgivable but Orlando has expressed this sentiment in his other SW books

- Orlando's insistence on the adopted family angle and portraying Magneto as a complicated but good man who took the twins in with Wanda as the worshipful daddies girl and the victim blaming as Pietro was cold to him. That man was abusive to both his children. He would let them die for his cause and had abandoned them multiple times. Wanda pre retcon had many an issue and gripe with him. The twins are justified in their issues with him and no one should have to forgive their abusers. Magneto is a fascinating character and I loved the pre retcon dynamic with the twins as it was so tragic and full of irony and it only really works if theyre blood related. This painting of them as a happy chosen family is detrimental to all characters involved.

#pietro maximoff #wanda maximoff #quicksilver #maximoff twins #magnet family #monet st croix #tommy shepherd #Luna Maximoff #Darcy Lewis #scarlet witch & quicksilver (2024)#scarlet witch and quicksilver #quicksilver and the scarlet witch #Quicksilver #scarlet witch #magneto #erik lensherr

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chaifootsteps · 2 months

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maybe this is a stretch, but, i cant help but to think that r2 reacted the way he did with that 15 yr old because thats how angel dust would react- by sexually harassing anyone that has an issue with him. he does it to husk constantly.

granted, i dont think that r2 knew he was talking to a kid, but sexual harassment still isnt something you shouldnt do to other adults! even if his favorite cartoon character does it constantly as a joke.

i also think that, because in the interview, he acts like he was defending himself from harassment, from someone coming into his space and harassing him, when he literally couldve just blocked the person who had an issue with him INSTEAD of saying "your obsession with me makes my dick hard" because no one made him do that. its 100% on him to chose how he reacted, regardless of how someone acted towards him.

and honest to god, if i was running an entire account dedicated to posting dead dove content, i'd block on sight. absolutely NOT worth the time or pain of arguing with someone who thinks you're a disgusting freak proshitter freak, no matter what youve been through or what you say. saying this as someone with a history of sa with a CNC kink btw

why he didnt instantly block them despite them being on "his page" is beyond me, and just makes me think he thought he could get away with it, or thought nothing was wrong with his behavior until people pointed out. i still feel like making a mistake like that could maybe be understandable.. if he wasn't nearly 30 years old.

I mean, it's possible, considering we're talking about a guy who took up sex work because Angel Dust did it. But realistically, I think he just did it because he felt justified in getting snarky with someone who he felt came into his space to be an asshole. I'm pretty confident in this because it's more or less what I would have said in the same situation, only I would have checked the damn profile because Twitter is crawling with kids. Actually, if I was one of the more public facing, prominent artists for an indie company, I wouldn't be behaving that way at all and like you said, would just block or ignore people.

Viv's inner circle is exactly what you get when the boss's friends are allowed to say and do whatever they want. You get a bunch of 30-year-olds acting like they're 12.

#Anonymous #spindlehorse critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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kittenwalker · 2 years

Note

Reader’s being interviewed with evan for their first movie together and her big screen debut. During the interviews evan keeps dropping hints that he's interested in reader but she's SUPER oblivious. The whole entire filming he has been interested in reader, but she never picked up on the hints. After all the interviews evan finally snaps and tells her how much he wants them to be more than co star

notes : just a short sweet simple story nothing much and sorry sweetie for making wait so long! also not proofread so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes :)

19 and Y/n already have her first debut in American horror story. That’s pretty impressive for being quite young, she was casted to be one of the ghost in the first season, Murder house. Being the Montgomary’s daughter, and agreed to suicide with your mother. Y/n was just a side character and wasn’t really in this season. But she was still welcomed to come on set anytime, to practice lines or watch the process of the film.

Y/n was closest with Evan as most of her scenes were with him. Him and her character have history together, being best friend’s after Tate’s, Evan’s character, arrival. Y/n’s role, Juliet, wasn’t much of a vengeful or evil ghost unlike the others sharing the house with her. Her character even had a small crush on Tate but seeing him get with Violet made her furious, she confessed her feelings but Tate chose Violet which made Juliet the weeping ghost. Cursed to weep around the halls due to heartbreak.

Working with Evan was a dream, he always cracked jokes with Y/n, making her more relaxed. They even had to do a kissing scene once and it was definitely awkward but she was glad it was with Evan. He knew she was tense about the on screen kiss so he bought her some tea to calm her down, assuring her that the kiss was only going to be a split second, even if Evan wished for more.

He wished Y/n would catch on to the hints that he drops every set or scene they filmed for together. Evan could literally be so damn flirty with Y/n but she wouldn’t even notice, she was as blind as a bat. Though she is still young and has never dated or had someone flirted with her before. They shot this season for about 9 months, 9 months of being oblivious to Evan’s flirtatious behavior. Evan was already being so obvious that even your other co-stars knew his feelings for her.

The first episode of Murder house aired and woah did the audience eat it up. They were nagging for the producers to air more and all the episodes came out earlier than expected. The first seasons did so well that it was nominated for an award and of course Y/n was invited. Even better because she just turned 20 a few days ago, then this amazing news came out.

Y/n just wore a simple black silk slip dress while layering some necklaces and stacking rings onto her fingers. She spritzed her perfume before slipping into her black high heels and rushed out the door with her purse.

As she arrived, cameras and flashing lights bombarded her as she stepped onto the carpet. The people screamed at her to look at her directions and that just made her more nervous. But she did as told and just smiled, walking away from the limelight as quickly as possible. As Y/n escaped the crowd, she stood in a corner to see if her co-stars were anywhere to be in sight. But a sudden whisper made her jump, “ Boo “ the voice daunted. Turning around she saw Evan laughing to himself at her terrified expression. “ God you’re suck a dick “ Y/n playfully smacked his shoulders sighing in relief. “ Thought a m’lady would like some company “ god the nickname he gave you was so cute. “ No I would LOVE your company, it’s my first time coming to one of these and it can be quite nerve-wrecking that’s for sure. “ Y/n fiddled with her hands. Evan reassured her and promised the night would be amazing and fun, she just had to let loose.

The both of them continued their everlasting conversation until an interviewer came up and interrupted them. “ Hey I’m sorry to interrupt your lovely talk but I would just like to ask a few questions to the both of you. “ This was the last thing Y/n wanted, more confrontation with strangers. Evan sensed her unsteadiness and placed an encouraging hand behind her back, which did help Y/n make her feel more comfortable. “ So would you both have guessed or knew the audience would have liked the idea of both your characters being together so much? “ Y/n was honestly just as shocked as everyone else, she didn’t know the people watching would ship their characters so much.

“ No, not really actually. Ryan didn’t really plan for that to happen but it would make sense for fans to like them together, I mean they were there for each other throughout Tate’s whole move in. But you know in all Ryan’s productions he always needed a surprise or heartbreak. “ Evan answered the question perfectly. The interviewer kept asking them more questions up till the last question that shocked Y/n.

“ Y/n, is there something going on between you and Evan. You two have always been caught together and laughing on set. “ God, was this interviewer very curious about people’s personal lives. “ Oh no we aren’t! Just co-stars and having fun together as friends. “ Y/n laughed it off. That made Evan feel like he got indirectly friendzoned, but he knows there’s a connection between them. “ I wish she was mine! Uh yea but no we’re not dating even though Y/n is a wonderful lady and any man would be lucky to have her. “ Evan cleared up the suspensions another time before the interviewer agreed with Evan, thanking them and leaving them to themselves.

The air between them suddenly became dense and Evan knew he just had to get this secret off his chest, it’s been way too long and he was sure of how he felt about her, more than co-stars. He pulled Y/n wrist and dragged her into a more private corner in the place where the cameras hopefully couldn’t see them. Y/n looked at Evan confused on why he pulled her here, he sighed and just rolled out his words.

“ Look Y/n I can’t put up with this act anymore, pretending that we’re just friends. Like you don’t feel the tension between us? I’ve been dropping hints everyday on set and I can’t take it anymore. I like you Y/n, more than co-stars and more than friends, I know I sound greedy but I want more with you. You're just so easy to be around with and it feels like I’m almost safe with you. Please just one chance with you and I swear, you won’t regret it. “ Evan spilled his heart out looking like a hurt lost puppy.

Y/n was dumbfounded, who’d have known he had more than friendly intentions. But she too wanted more, she just felt this great energy whenever she was with him. Though her silence was making Evan doubt his confession, her answer didn’t.

“ I too want more with you, Evan. I just feel so good around you, you can make me laugh, relax me when I’m nervous, and put a smile on me all day long. I do feel this connection and would like to make your dream come true. “ Y/n smiled at him and thank god they were in a dark area so he couldn’t see Y/n blushing so much.

When he heard those words come out of her mouth, his eyes lit up and a smile formed onto his lips. Evan was so cute when he smiled, showcasing his infamous dimples which made everyone fall for him.

“ Well since we both agree on what our status should be now, may I take you out for dinner one night? Maybe we can even ditch this place now and go. “ Evan suggested the ideas, making you chuckle at his eagerness but your stomach was agreeing with him for this one.

Well I guess they lied to the lady who interviewed them, as they are now officially together.

#evan peter fluff #evan peter x reader #evan peter smut #evan peters #evan peters imagine #evan peters drabble #evan peters smut #evan peters one shot #evan peters oneshot #ahs #american horror story #ahs fandom #tate langdon #kyle spencer #kit walker

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dojae-huh · 20 days

Text

The seasons

Do on the show.

Part 1: The host

That Zico guy really had a power trip interviewing Doyoung. He disrespected his guest in so many ways. Didn't care to memorise simple questions; said "congratulation" in a whispering tone (close to mocking); called him a puppy (shivered like a puppy before going on stage and after singing) twice; mostly didn't look at him while speaking to him; showed his butt to Do twice (it was intentional, he could have turned to the audience with the other side, he also walked to stand before Do); walked from the guest to the side of the stage without an explanation (staff should come to him to bring things, not the other way around); made Do eat a banana from his hands (no, it wasn't cute, it's a universal dick and bj joke), and not even a new one, but the one Do had started eating behind the scenes; when he asked the crowd to give Do a round of applause for his next performance, he didn't look at the guest (his own clapping was insincere); what was the reason to point out "8 years after debut" twice?, heh.

Kim brothers carried MCing, making boring questions and the dialogue more entertaining.

It's normal in SK to show baby pictures, but it seems GM didn't like that they started with toddlers. I doubt the question about fighting was in the script, and it's not a show to ask such questions (it's a show about live singing, not variety where the guest is the butt of the joke). GM turned it around passive-agressively (we thought everyone was like this, but other brothers fight). LIsten to his tone at the end of the sentence.

Part 2: The guests

GM did a good job, he turned the flow of the convo into actually praising his brother and advertising his singing and his album. He even said "your latest album" and "listen a lot".

Doyoung chose songs to highlight his vocal abilities (and probably very liked by the general public), and showed off by singing the second one while sitting (it's more difficult).

Do did a very smart thing of going into the crowd. It made a spectacle. Cameramen got shots of flustered fans, Doyoung was surrounded byt green lights (fireflies) and introduced some rock festival vibe (idols generally don't go into the crowd, but it's common with bands).

Ajummas secured. Ajusshis secured.

Good job, I'm the director of my own life Kim Dongyoung.

Part 3: I was surprised fans liked the banana thing. Everyone is too used to fanservice and cute Doyoung, not realising there is time and place for everything. Doyoung came to the show to introduce himself to the Korean public as a real dealsinger with a great voice (and who is pushing 30s), the conversation should have been about his solo career, the genre he wants to sing in, his participation in musicals, etc. Not how pitiful or endearing he looked like bts. Zico simply degraded him.

#evanescent foam #we eye to eye #Doyoung is my bias

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thetwelfthcrow · 11 months

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this post is literally for me and like 5 dutch girlies only but i hate viaplay with soooo much of my body and i've been praying for their downfall daily and...

it's been working.

okay context for anyone who cares: ziggo used to own the rights to f1 in the NL. they didn't do a 10/10 job, but they were fun. the interviews are iconic, drivers just liked them, hell i still see clips/gifs with that bright orange ziggo mic every day. sure, jack asked questions that weren't always fitting and may have made drivers uncomfortable from time to time - my biggest annoyance w him - and olav wasn't flawless in his commentary. but they understood the most important thing in the content they made:

f1 is supposed to be entertaining.

i've said before - but that's a whole other post - that stefano domenicali should take this sport more seriously as a sport and that reporters should take it less seriously and see it as entertainment.

ziggo understood that. with formula one cafe before and after each race to talk with fellow dudes about the race: they knew people wanted to be entertained and they did that. there was beer on the table, champagne when max won the championship, they had a special dude to show everyone memes about f1, they had guys that truly understood f1 (former drivers like robert doornbos, giedo van de garde, tom and unfortunately tim coronel and some other dudes who came too rarely for me to remember names) or other types of motorsport (hello jeffrey herlings!) but mostly: they had fun. robert doornbos, guy w great sense of humour but also a big ego lmao, took the piss on host rob kampues who also took the piss on robert doornbos. they just didn't take everything too seriously: they provided entertainment.

now viaplay.

in comes viaplay, start of 2022 season. prices were €10 per month at the time. viaplay was new to everyone: it didn't exist in the NL prior to this. they, aside from f1, also barely had anything on their platform. bit by bit came shows, but, like, nothing too spectacular.

viaplay started off wrong on all accounts. where ziggo f1 cafe was a place with one long table where people sat, beer on the table, a bar in the background and a few people sitting all around (left photo), viaplay's studio looked horribly cold. bright bright lights (a hospital has a more cozy vibe) and the hosts were standing (right photo).

they also got the most humourless people. i mentioned giedo before and, sorry my guy, i've never caught you making a joke before. and christijan alberts - also former f1 driver - is soooo full of himself and also doesn't have a sense of humor. so anyway. i very quickly decided to only use viaplay for the race and turn it on not sooner than the formation lap and not later than 'we're going back to the studio' was even fully said.

eventually, they did move to a table where they sat at but the vibes were still all off. a fridge is warmer. a freezer is warmer. (before anyone comes at me: i like amber ok. she's doing her best. she's been given absolutely shit context to work in. she really rises to the occasion when she's with literally anyone else. that video with max and jos and mika and whatever? she was spicy there. so good. but noooo they but self-centered mansplainer christijan and can't make a joke giedo and ego too big for the room tim coronel next to her. can't expect someone to work when they've got broken tools ok).

they hire commentators who keep literally sucking max's dick in their commentaries. he cannot do anything wrong in their eyes. if he does they blame it on something else. look. olav wasn't objective, but he was just a man with a hobby who got a platform. christijan alberts who literally criticised ziggo for being too subjective about max is literally sitting at that desk in viaplay watching two guys with HORRIBLE voices* talk overly loving about max even when the guy just does his thing. hilarious.

*how! and i really emphasize how!!!! can you hire people with horrible voices when their PRIMARY TASK is to be listened to. why did no one think, huh. these guys are not pleasant to listen to. maybe we should NOT put them in the commentary box.

god i've never in the past year and a half seen, like, a clip from a viaplay interview bc the question was funny or the interviewer joked around. the drivers are funny on their own but when nothing sparks them we'll get the same answer in seven different interviews in the media pen that no one wants. let alone the drivers.

but those are things, like, sure. whatever.

then they added a sponsorship: i think a sports betting place. 'this broadcast was sponsored by' or whatever. i do not pay €10 per month to watch ads. i pay it to be ad free. it's the basis of a subscription.

why would they need ads, you ask?

well viaplay has terrible priorities. as seen before, but they chose one even worse priority.

they sponsor max, prominently.

that decision alone is fine! right. no issues there. but not when you can't really afford it. not at the expense of your subscribers. not when i would personally fund max's sponsorship. i'll buy merch ok! fuck off!

BUT NOW COMES THE FUN PART.

viaplay has been steadily losing subscribers! we love to hear it!

in 2022 they made a €60 million profit. in 2023 they're losing €570 million euros. losing. five hundred and seventy. million. they're firing a quarter of their employees.

gee! i wonder what choices you could make to better prioritise this and to keep bringing quality content you aim for and ---

they decide to rise their subscription prices.

€16 per month. that's a 60% raise (right?). bro.

and! they're cutting off all the other series they had on viaplay and now primarily focus on sport. they're closing their Polish, Canadian US and UK departments (you're not missing anything).

rumours had spread that maybe they'd need to sell the rights to f1 for 2024 but unfortunately they said that wasn't necessary. rn they still have 7 million subscribers. why are you people still subscribed. f1tv is cheaper and even there you can listen to the horrible voices of those two commentators who's names i never bothered to remember.

simplest thing for them would be to stop sponsoring max lmao. but they'll lose literally all relevance then so i doubt they ever will. cancelling and moving onto f1tv was the best decision i ever made. praying for their downfall too. can't wait to see my besties rob kamphues and certified cheater (but at least he's got a sense of humour!) robert doornbos talking about the race and jack plooij joking around with the dudes and olav mol being interrupted in his monologue because max decided to be a little shit again. they were passionate about the sport. everything they did lived and breathed the whole if-you-like-your-work-you'll-never-work-a-day-in-your-life thing. they had fun! jack plooij is a literal dentist who just likes f1 so he somehow rolled into the pit reporter job. rob kamphues is a comedian. they all had their love for f1 in common and were just fanboying on live television and that was fun.

i just miss ziggo man.

#zhalia's lil' chit chat #i'm passionate about viaplays downfall ok #f1 just isn't the same without ziggo.#viaplay #anti viaplay RAGE post

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