I wish I could stay in the Past

Pairing: Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader Summary: Who would have thought that 27 years after the first Woodsboro massacre, you still couldn't live in peace? Now, you have been asked by Agent Kirby Reed to come to New York, where apparently a new Ghostface killer was on the loose. For you, this meant going back into your past and meeting the person you were trying to protect from your life since she was born. Cross-posted on AO3: here Warnings: Spoilers for Scream VI, English isn't my first language Word Count: 5,890

Kirby stood in front of the white board plastered with photos of every Ghostface killer from 1996 to 2022, of the masks found at the crime scenes, and of the victims killed so far.

“…Mickey Altieri, Nancy Loomis, Stu Macher and Billy Loomis. Number One and also the father of our chief suspect.”

Detective Bailey, arms crossed before his chest, nodded before adding, “It’s all leading us back to Sam.”

“What about the girlfriend?” Kirby suddenly mumbled, more to herself than addressing the Detective.

“What? Who’s girlfriend?”

“(Y/N) (L/N). She and Billy were childhood sweethearts. Although she was never personally involved in any Ghostface incidents following 1996 she could never quite live her life in peace. I mean, come on. The mourning love interest has to be a main suspect. His mother tried to avenge his death and no one thought about that either. Then boom! Dead teenagers everywhere.”

Bailey turned his face to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What? It’s just an idea.”

“Hm.” He hummed, “It could be worth a shot.”

A totally stupid shot, because what sane person would suddenly seek revenge after 27 years? Well, if it keeps her occupied, who am I to stop her?

“Any idea on how we can reach her?”

Kirby smirked. “Of course I do.”

New York was far too loud, far too big and far too dirty for your liking. You preferred the calmness and the quiet of a nice little town somewhere far away from any crime or even the smallest hint of being dragged into another drama. You really thought you would finally be at peace, having that calm and quiet life, until you got a call from Agent Kirby Reed. You remember that name well. Besides Sidney and Gale, obviously, she was the only victim who survived the Second Woodsboro Massacre. On the phone she told you that someone had put on the Ghostface mask again and was after a group of teenagers. She wanted you to come to New York right away so you could be questioned.

It wasn’t the first time you were a suspect but being one again after almost 30 years? You were about to give vent to the familiar old feeling of simmering anger for being falsely accused again when…

“Your niece was among those who were attacked.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m on my way. It’s going to take a few hours.”

“That’s alright. When you arrive in New York go straight to the NYPD and tell them you are here to see Agent Reed. Someone will show you the way to the office I’m currently occupying.”

You were just about to open the car door and leave the parking lot near the police station when you got a text.

[Agent Reed]: Change of plans. Someone thinks you need to see this too. Come to this address.

So now you were standing in front of some kind run-down movie theatre, not knowing if you were ate the right place. You read the text message again… nope, still the same street name and the same house number. You were about to dial Kirby’s number when someone called your name.

“Over here!”

You turned to the blonde woman standing a few meters away from you, holding open a metal door. “Agent Kirby Reed?” You asked.

“The one and only.” She nodded for you to follow her. “Come in, the others are already inside.”

It’s strange, you thought. I’m actually meeting Samantha.

You stopped at a metal bar door that already allowed you an insight of the room ahead of you. There was tingling feeling in your belly.

“You’re ready?”

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your mouth to form a decent sentence.

It felt like you were pushed back into your 18-year-old-self. Mannequins, display shelves and cases were set up and lead to a stage. It was impossible to take everything in at the same time so you walked through the row that was closest to you. Years of evidence put together like it was a museum, like a fucking…

“A shrine.” Kirby said from behind you. “Dedicated to every killer that put on the mask.”

You barely registered what she just said when you saw what was displayed at the end of the row. You almost couldn’t believe your eyes. There… There were Tatum’s clothes, the ones she wore when she was killed… and there was the robe Stu wore at his party… and Billy’s bloody t-shirt. You walked past a sitting mannequin looking exactly like Steve Orth until you were standing right in front of the white cloth still covered in blood. Huffing out a shaky breath, you reached out to touch it. Your fingers traced from every hole where he was stabbed until it stopped on the chest of the mannequin. You almost expected to feel a heartbeat underneath your skin…

Oh Billy.

Maybe it was the overwhelming, morbid nostalgic feeling that almost crushed you seeing all those reminders of your past, but you still hadn’t noticed the small group on the stage next to you watching you either with curious or wary eyes.

You were still caught up in your head, thinking back to that afternoon on September 28th in 1996 — you, reading another true crime novel and playing with the brown curls of your boyfriend’s hair while his head rested on your lap, napping. You two had stayed in this position until the sun went down. The clock read 6 PM when you decided to make dinner and he left the kitchen to make a quick phone call. When he got back…

“Billy, are you serious? There is a killer outside!”

“Stu lives only 10 minutes away. I’ll take the car.”

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t we call the police?”

“No, it’s alright. I’m just gonna make sure he doesn’t overdo it. You know how he is.”

You laughed, “Yeah, I do and I love him for that.”

Billy tilted his head, an amused glint in his eyes. “Oh really? I thought you loved me.”

The smile on your face grew brighter as he bent down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. “I do love you. So much.”

You snapped out of your thoughts.

It would have been perfect. A concerned Billy wanting to make sure his best friend was okay so he goes to his party to check on him, but is surprised by the killer. Both, he and Stu, are fighting to survive and in the end, sadly, they are the only ones still alive. The police would have believed them that it was Sidney’s father all along and you and Billy could have lived a happily ever after in another town, away from all that traumatic shit he ‘went through’.

But the reality was different. Billy had been a psychotic serial killer, murdering friends and class mates and even Sidney’s mother. He had been the one getting addicted to the feeling of killing someone after Maureen Prescott, he had been the one who had done all those horrible things…

“Kirby, who’s that?” A female voice asked.

Kirby gave you a quick look before answering, “This is (Y/N) (L/N)-“

“(Y/N)?” Gale interrupted her and watched you climb the stairs of the stage.

You first inspected each of the 9 Ghostface mannequins — your eyes lingering on the middle one a little longer — before acknowledging her. You still held a grudge against her considering how much she had turned your life upside down.

“Hello Gale. Long time no see.” You greeted her with a tight smile on your lips. “And since I was ordered here for an interrogation, let’s be honest. It’s actually (Y/N) Carpenter.”

Everyone but Gale suddenly straightened up before the teenagers of the group looked at the two girls closest to the Ghostface costume in the glass case. Both looked at you with furrowed eyebrows as if they were trying to somehow place you in their family tree.

Looking at her made you tear up. You smiled. “Hi Samantha.”

“It’s… just Sam, actually. I’m sorry, do I know you?” She asked you, confused, still trying to remember where and when she met you.

“You don’t, but I know you. Christina told me everything about you, always kept me up-to-date.” You took a quick breathe to control your emotions. “God, you’ve grown. You look so much like him.”

Sam shifted on her feet, not liking where this conversation was going. “Him? You mean my father.”

“How do you know our mom?” The short girl next to her butt in. She seemed just as wary as her sister.

“Christina is my older sister.”

“So you’re our aunt.”

“Not exactly. I’m your aunt, Tara.” You said before addressing Sam directly, “Christina called me when you found out who your real father is in those diaries.” You were really about to drop the bomb. “You know, those diaries weren’t hers… they were mine.”

“What are you saying?”

“That the one who got pregnant by Billy Loomis wasn’t Christina. It was me.”

Sam looked at you like you've grown a second head. “So what? You’re… You’re my mother?”

“Biological, yes. In any other way, probably not.”

“Oh my God.” She started to walk up and down with her hands gripping her hair. “Oh my God.”

“I know it’s a lot, but-“

“A lot? You just come here, a total stranger, and tell me you’re my mother when the woman who raised me all those years isn’t actually my mom but my aunt!”

“I don't expect you to replace her with me and accept me as your new mother, Sam. I’m not planning on taking you with me to force you into mother-daughter-relationship after 26 years. I’m here to help you.”

Sam’s head whipped around to look at Kirby.

“She’s on my suspect list, Sam.” Kirby shrugged, “Apparently no one thinks about the revengeful love interest.”

“But I have an alibi.” You defended yourself, “I wasn’t even near New York when the teacher and the students were murdered. Same goes to the therapist and your two friends. I actually expected being questioned at the NYPD, but if you actually want to interrogate me here, go ahead.”

“Then why are you here? This very place?”

You looked back at Tara. “Because Agent Reed told me to. From what she told me we experienced similar situations and she thought I had a right to see this too.” You looked around the room. “My past is on display here as much as hers or Gale's.”

Sam shook her head, taking a step forward. “So, just to get this straight. You get knocked up by a serial killer and then just leave the baby with your sister? You found out you were pregnant with me and dumped me because what? You didn’t want to be a mom at such a young age? Or was it because you were disgusted by me?”

Your eyes widened. Of course you expected some resistance and some accusations, but it was still like a knife to your heart to see her betrayed expression and hear her furious voice. “No, of course not. I loved you the second I held you in my arms.”

“Then why?”

“I had no other choice! Do you know how hard it was, living like I had to after your father died? The names they called me? And you… you were the size of a grape and they already called you the Devil’s Spawn. No one wants to raise a child in an environment like that.”

“So you just abandoned me? Left me behind so you could get away from everything?”

“I didn’t abandon you, I gave you a safe life away from every threat that could hurt you or even corrupt you. After that night when… when it all happened, my normal life was over. Either all those blase do-gooders in Woodsboro treated me like I put a Ghostface mask on and killed all those people myself, or I was viewed by these Stab-obsessed lunatics as some sort of precious artifact left behind by their idol. I was ambushed by dozens of assholes in costumes and got 3 or 4 calls a day. Even after I moved to other towns, fuck, even to another state, and I still couldn't live my life in peace. Thanks, by the way.” You turned to Gale.

“What, me?”

“The tirade of hate you wrote about me in your damn books. First the boyfriend, then the mother of the boyfriend, and then even Roman Bridger just because he was the one who stirred Billy on into going on a killing spree. You even mentioned me in your fourth book when I literally had no connection to anything that happened that year! You made it look like I pulled the strings, egged on every Ghostface, and was planning every murder, Gale.”

“No, I didn’t.”

 “Yes, you did. Just like you called Sam a born killer, you called me the secret Ghostface that got away who will someday get revenge on Sidney for killing the love of her life.”

Gale opened her mouth, but having nothing to reply with, she closed it again.

Using the following silence to return to the current problem, Chad asked, “So, just to make sure before that–” He awkwardly gestured to you and Sam “–happened. Someone killed these chucklefucks and took over?”

“Someone who believes that Sam masterminded Woodsboro.”

“If this would be a movie this would be the killer’s lair.”

“Which means this isn’t a normal Stab movie.”

Apparently that gave Tara the rest, as she left the stage with brisk steps and disappeared into an adjoining room. Sam was hot on her heels.

Shortly thereafter, the rest of the group split up — Kirby joined Mindy to sit on the edge of the stage, Ethan and Chad were on different sides of the room, looking at the displayed evidence, and Detective Bailey was talking to someone on the phone.

You finally had time to walk to and look at the glass case in front of you. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that the one you had loved the most in this world killed four people and thereby started a future death streak, all committed in costumes of his alter ego.

You were so deep in thought that ten minutes had passed and you hadn't noticed that Sam was back and was standing behind you.

“Are you married?” She asked, attracting your attention.

You took your eyes off of Billy’s name plate and looked into her brown ones that reminded you so much of her father’s. “What?”

Sam nodded down to your hand. “Do you have a family?”

Ahh…

“Oh, no. No, I don’t. That’s a promising ring. You know, when you promise someone to stay together forever and maybe get married one day. Do you kids still do that?”

“Yeah, when we’re like twelve, not fifty.”

You chuckled. “Ouch. I still have six years until I’m that old.” Sighing, you touched the ring and rolled it around your ring finger. “No, I was actually twelve years when… well, when your dad gifted it to me. So young and he already wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. This one–” You held the hand with the ring at eye level, “–was never ever replaced since then. His is right here.” You pulled the silver chain from underneath your t-shirt and revealed a similar ring just slightly bigger.

A shiver ran down Sam’s back, before asking in disbelief, “You kept it?”

“I did. And I know it seems like I went crazy or something while grieving, but I was young and devastated. I just lost the love of my life. Some grow distant and want to avoid anything that has to do with their lost loved one or being constantly reminded of them. Others, like me, have to hold onto every little fiber of them. I wore his clothes, put on his cologne… God, it was really a terrible way to cope.”

Sam grimaced.

You smiled slightly. “What?”

“It’s just strange hearing someone talk about him like he was…”

“Human?”

“He killed people, he was murderer, and you… you loved him.”

“Do you think it’s easy to stop loving someone in mere seconds? Minutes, hours, days, weeks? You have that person who you would die for, who you would kill for. This person is your everything, and you can’t imagine a life without them. So you plan it with that person; how you will graduate, how you will find a job, how you will leave both your parent’s houses to move together, maybe move to a new town, how you will have children with them, how you will marry them, and how you will grow old with them. Billy was my person, the one I wanted all those boring normal things with. And you have those normal things. You hold hands, cuddle, kiss, go on dates...” You stopped and took a breath. “Until the police shows up at your door and tells you that the one who had murdered your friends was him all along. There’s a sliver of hope that maybe, maybe you can visit him in prison so you can talk to him. But that won’t happen because the police tells you right after that he had been killed by your best friend, Sidney Prescott, and that they have some questions for you.”

You still remember how they interrogated you and asked you if you knew about Billy’s doings, if they were signs that seemed suspicious, asked you about the places you have been when he and Stu killed another victim and if there were people who could vouch for you. After two hours they finally let you go, saying they would call you if they had any more questions. You asked if you could see him, his body. Since his mother left, his father was nowhere to be found and Billy had no other close relatives, you were the next best option.

The moment you saw him, lying there cold and pale on that metal table, your whole world crumbled. With slow shaky steps you had walked closer and closer to him. Almost relieved for something to hold on, you had supported yourself by grabbing the table. At that moment you didn’t care who could see you or who could hear you… you just cried. Your sobs and hysterical breathing had filled the room, your knees buckling and your knuckles turning white from how hard you had clutched the table.

“No. No, no, no.”

You had started to hyperventilate. It got harder and harder to breathe. The walls seemed to grow closer.

And then everything went black.

When you woke up in a hospital bed you were greeted by a nurse who tried to calm you down. She told you, according to the coroner, you had passed out after having a panic attack. Just to make sure that was the actual reason they ran a few tests — nothing special, just the usual hospitals did when patients arrived unconscious. She had reassured you after you gave her a concerned look.

“Don’t worry, honey. The results of blood tests didn’t show anything worrying, but I can give you my congratulations. You are pregnant.”

Pregnant.

With Billy’s…

“You are three weeks along. The embryo is as tiny as a poppy seed, just a millimeter.”

You had gaped at her still in disbelief.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant.

You were pregnant with Billy’s baby.

Billy…

Tears had started to form in your eyes and the nurse got blurry. Again there was this feeling in your chest that there was not enough air around you and it got harder to breathe.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetie. Since you’re only eighteen, we called your parents. They should be here soon.”

Your mom and dad had been more or less supportive. They had always loved Billy. There had been many get-together’s with his family — barbecue, picnics, movie nights. Your parents got along well. But when Billy was revealed as the Ghostface killer, yours had cut ties with the Loomis family and sheltered you from any contact from them.

What they couldn’t shelter you from was Nancy Loomis’ surprise visit three months later. Thanks to Gale’s book — because she somehow managed to find out the reason for your visit to the hospital and because this heartbreaking twist would boost her sales — everyone knew you were pregnant. Including Mrs. Loomis.

You were still stuck deep in your depression. You went from mourning him to call everything into question — was it all a lie? Every touch, every kiss, every I-love-you, every time you made love and talked about the most intimate things — to mourning him again. You were a mess.

It was too much when Billy’s mother was suddenly standing on your doorstep. You had slammed the door right into her face when you saw who was interrupting your crying fest, but through the door she had convinced you to let her in so you could talk. Your hormones got the better of you and you opened the door. Her eyes flew instantly to your belly, but your baby bump wasn’t visible through the white tee and the blue flannel.

“You have his clothes?”

“I have all his stuff. His clothes, his posters, his movies.”

You had talked to Hank and begged him to have some of his things. He had stopped you mid-rant and said you could have everything you wanted; he didn’t want it in his house. So you grabbed everything you could. When you saw the pictures displayed in his room — of you and of you and him — you turned into a crying mess and collapsed on his bed. His pillow still had smelled like him.

You must have fallen asleep because the next thing you remember was Mr. Loomis shaking you awake, looking into your bloodshot eyes and asking you if you were okay.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to-“

“(Y/N), I asked you if you’re okay.”

You had pressed your wobbly lips together and shook your head. He had engulfed you in his arms and tried his best to comfort you. After all, you were still you and despite every negative thought and feeling he held for his son and his deeds, you were not at fault. You were still the little girl from next door he had hoped to be his future daughter-in-law. You left that day with most of his stuff carefully packed up in the trunk of your car. You knew this wasn’t healthy, morbid even — the girl who grabbed the belongings of her dead killer-boyfriend to put everything in her room to have at least a hint of his presence, a imaginary possibility of him still being here with her. Now there were even more pictures of your smiling faces on your shelf, your desk, the table next to your bed and on your walls. Your closet was fuller with the addition of his t-shirts and his jackets. His movie collection was proudly placed next to yours on your shelf.

There was also a box under your bed. When you went through Billy’s tiny walk-in closet you found a cavity hidden behind the wallpaper. Inside of it was a black costume, a Ghostface mask and a knife.

A bloody knife.

Whose blood was that?!

Before you could muster another thought you scrambled to the garbage can and emptied your stomach. When you were done you felt a wave of guilt wash over you.

What were you doing? How did you not notice any suspicious change?

Well, there was this one time after his mom left. He had been so distant, strange, and there had been a dark glint in his eyes when you had cornered him after a week of radio silence. The look he fixed you with gave you the heebie-jeebies. He came around a few days later and acted like nothing had happened between the two of you.

Going back to Mrs. Loomis’ visit, you took your time warming up to her. Seeing her cry and listening to her begging you for forgiveness in Billy’s stead. Under the influence of, again, your stupid pregnancy hormones you gave in and made her a cup of tea. You two talked for hours, mostly about her son and how much she regretted leaving him behind, then Mrs. Loomis wanted you to tell her everything about what happened after leaving and what happened that night in Stu Macher’s house. When you ended your story with your pregnancy, she smiled.

“Even though he’s gone there is still a part of him with us. There is still something important I have to do, but after that I will take care of you and the little one and support the both of you in any way possible. I promise, sweetie.”

As it turned out, the important thing she had to do was to kill Sidney. The target on your back you thought had disappeared returned with Gale Weather’s second book. Again, you were harassed and threatened until you couldn’t take it anymore and you moved away. It got harder each time since you were in the last stages of pregnancy. It hurt thinking about it, but you would never put your baby into a life like this. So you did what you thought was right.

Your sister was more than happy to take her in. Christina would inherit their family’s home and would be able to raise your daughter — now your niece — safely.

Snapping out of your thoughts you continued, “Back then I was at the lowest point in my life and out of all people Sidney was the one who got me back on track. My mom and dad, your grandparents, must have asked her to come over to talk to me. I actually thought she would just turn around and walk away when she saw my room, considering it was crammed with Billy's stuff. He was in every corner of it, the man who killed her mother and almost killed her. She should be the one staying in bed, crying until she passed out. After all she’s the one who survived all that traumatic shit. ”

“Sidney visited you?”

You huffed. “Of course she did. I was her best friend. Randy and I were the only survivors out of our friend group. He and Sidney were the only ones who still treated me like a normal human being.” You shrugged. “Anyways. Sidney was there for me. At first I wasn't sure if I even wanted to see her. Inside, I knew she had no choice but to kill Billy, but I still held a grudge against her. I was afraid I would take all my anger and sadness out on her. But the second she put her arms around me, all negative thoughts disappeared and I realized how much I needed my best friend at that moment. She got me out of bed, made me go to see a therapist and kept reminding me of you, Sam.” You looked at your daughter. “I couldn’t allow myself to be selfish. I had to think of your well-being, too.”

Sam nodded in understanding and then looked around the room. “I… I'll go check on Tara.” It looked like she wanted to add something, but she apparently she couldn't find the right words.

You gave her a sanguinely smile. “You do that. When this is all over, I promise you that we can talk about everything in peace and I will answer any question you might have. Only if you want, of course.”

“I’d like that.” Sam said before turning around to go looking for her sister.

You watched her until she disappeared from your sight and turned back to Billy's costume. It didn’t even look that scary from your point of view — which might have been due to the lack of a mask — but almost 30 years ago you had thought of it differently. You looked to the Ghostface costume on the right, your eyes slowly dragging down the black fabric until they reached the name tag.

Stu.

You looked up again, scrutinizing the whole look.

You remember the first and only time you were face to face with it. Your parents were on a once-in-a-blue-moon date in a nice restaurant, leaving you alone for a few hours. They only had been out of the house for 30 minutes when you got the infamous call. You skipped to the living room, letting you dinner heat up in the microwave, and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello.”

“Yes?”

“Am I talking to (Y/N)?”

“Yeah. Who is this?”

“You could say a secret admirer.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have boyfriend whom I love very much.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” You giggled, lazily playing with the phone cord.

“That’s a shame, really. In that little dress you look like a girl a guy would kill for.”

The smile completely disappeared from your face as you turned to every window the living room possessed.

“What?”

It felt like someone had punched you in the gut, knocking all the air out of your lungs. You abruptly remember the things Sidney had told you about what happened that night when she was attacked — the smooth male voice, the things he said that gave her the chills, him in a black robe and a white ghost mask, trying to kill her.

Before you could think twice you slammed the telephone handle on the hook.

“Okay, okay. Just relax. Just some weirdo trying to scare you. It doesn't necessarily have to be-”

You shrieked when the doorbell rang.

“Jesus.” With a hand pressed against your chest, you walked to the door. “Who’s there?”

No answer.

“Billy, is that you?”

There was no other possibility than him, considering you casually mentioned to him that your parents weren’t home with a mischievous smirk on your lips. This time he wouldn’t have to sneak through your window. You were just opening the door, pondering whether you should tell him about the weird call or not, when you were met with a white ghost mask.

Screaming, you slammed the door shut and locked it. You could hear his body colliding with the door, kicking against it, trying to open it. You didn’t even think about waiting for him to successfully gain access and ran up to your room. You locked the door of your room too before grabbing your cell phone and dialing Billy’s number.

“Billy, please. Billy, please. Pick up, please.”

You ran to the window that was facing Billy’s. His room was completely dark.

You let out a whimper. “Come on, Billy, please. Please pick up.” Tears streamed down your face. When you heard the door slam against the wall downstairs, you clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle a scream.

“(Y/N)?”

Relief washed over you. You swirled around, seeing Billy standing at his window with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Billy…” You tried to control your breath. “T-There is someone in the house… the killer. He is wearing the mask Sidney told us about. He is… He is…”

You watched your boyfriend disappear, presumably running out of his room to get to you.

“It’s okay, baby. Is your door locked?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. Push your dresser in front of the door and hide in the closet. Stay there until I tell you it’s safe. I’m coming, baby, you hear me?”

You heard him skipping down the stairs, listened to his reassuring words.

“I-I’m scared, Billy. I don’t want t-to die.”

“You won’t, I promise you. Just do what I told you. Now!”

Nodding, you ran to your dresser and pushed against it with your whole body weight until it was in front of your door. Next you ran to your closet, pulled open the door, closed it and crouched in a corner far back against the wall.

“I’m in the closet.” You whispered and when you got no answer you added, “Billy? Bill-”

You were interrupted by a loud “Hey!” and something that sounded like fighting noises. Whimpering you fought with yourself — on the one hand you wanted to disobey Billy’s wishes and help him out of concern that the killer might hurt him; on the other hand you wanted to do what he told you and stay hidden.

Meanwhile, Billy was seething as he grabbed his best friend by his collar and forcefully pushed him against the wall in the narrow floor leading to your room. He pulled down the mask and revealed Stu’s jolly face.

“What the fuck did I tell you, huh? (Y/N) is off-limits!” Billy whisper-yelled, pulling Stu lightly to himself before slamming him hard against the wall, not releasing his grip.

Stu groaned. “I just wanted to scare her a little. I thought it would be funny.”

If he weren't Billy’s best friend and if they didn't have big plans ahead of themselves, Billy would have strangled him by now. He tried to channel his rage and took a deep breath before saying, “Listen, dipshit. She. Is. Off. Limits! Killing your ex? I’m in. Her new boy toy? No problem. But keep your fucking hands off of her or I’ll cut your fingers off one by one and push them down your throat, got it?”

Stu gulped and nodded, his big smile morphing into a smaller one. He wasn’t scared of Billy, but Stu had to admit that there were some moments when his aggressions got worrisome.

“Now get out!” Billy hissed and let go of Stu. He waited a moment before knocking on your door.

“(Y/N), it’s me. It’s okay, he’s gone.”

There was shuffling behind the door and a minute later you ripped it open and flung yourself into his arms. Billy was shushing you, caressing your back while listening to you crying. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He kept saying.

When your breathing calmed down, he pulled away from you and placed his hands on both of your cheeks while looking deep into your eyes.

“You’re stupid, you know that?” You mumbled, “Without thinking you ran into a house with a killer in it.”

“The only thing I could think in that moment was you.”

You slightly shook your head with a small smile. “You’re so cheesy.”

Billy huffed a laugh before turning serious again. “Are you hurt?”

“No. I was fast enough to close the door, ran upstairs, lock my door and hide in the closet just as you told me. There won’t even be bruise.”

“Good.” He nodded and kissed you forehead. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

You, of course, had no idea what happened that evening outside of your room. You didn’t know about the lengths he would go for you to keep you safe. You didn’t know he would have killed for you. You didn’t know that Billy’s feelings and his love for you were genuine, something you truly questioned after the things Sidney had told you about that night. You didn’t know that he felt scared when he realized that his plan was failing and he maybe wouldn't be able to see you again. You didn’t know that you were his last thought before he was shot in the head.

Sam Heughan (Ryan)

Ryan could hardly be more different to Jamie, your character in Outlander...

Yeah, absolutely. I’ve been on Outlander for a while and Jamie’s an established character, a thoroughly decent guy. Ryan is such an intriguing character with a lot of history and secrets. He’s not the nicest guy – you could say he's lost his way.

What is Ryan’s relationship to Danny?

They are former partners in the police force who worked very closely together and became very good friends, to the extent that he was the godfather to Christina (Imogen King). Ryan supported Danny (James Nesbitt) when he got into trouble so they've always had each other's backs, but you get the feeling that Ryan's gone down this dark path after spending too much time out on the streets and getting mixed up with the wrong people. When they meet in the gym, Danny knows Ryan’s not telling the truth.

Does Ryan have his own family?

We do hear about a partner but it seems like they split up after quite a tempestuous relationship because Ryan’s not an easy guy to live with. He seems like a bit of a loner. He's got anger issues, a lot of pent-up aggression and he’s quite unstable – the kind of character I hadn't played before.

What does the two-hander bring out in you?

The script is so strong, and there are three scenes in the whole episode: one in the gym, one in the changing room, one in the car. They’re really long scenes, extended takes and they wanted to shoot them differently. They're very intimate, very intense and while that’s slightly scary, it’s also really appealing, jumping feet first into something. It felt like a piece of theatre where you're in this long take and you really don't really know where it's going to go. We had a really good time.

Was it as intense to make as it is to watch?

It was very intense, especially because ours was the first episode to be shot. We had a day of rehearsal in the gym, which helped because it was an MMA gym when I had thought it was more of a weightlifting gym. We could incorporate a bit of bag work, boxing and Muay Thai in there, which was great because I did some Muay Thai training in Thailand years ago. I enjoyed that breathlessness because Ryan is a high-energy, on the edge guy. You could really feel the sweat, which lent a lot to the scene.

How did you enjoy working with James Nesbitt?

He's great fun, but he also brings such a level of intensity and heartache. You don't know if Danny is a sane man or whether it’s all in his head. You're really questioning every character as a viewer, and Ryan knows he’s been caught out by Danny, so he’s having to think very fast. It was a thrill to work on all that with him.

Does Ryan think Christina has taken her own life?

Well, he's got his own secrets and probably knows more about the situation than he’s letting on. I think he feels responsible in some way, because he was supposed to be looking out for Christina and they were very close. But all the characters have guilt somewhere.

Did you give Ryan a backstory?

I think you have to. He's such a shady character, so surrounded by lies, that sometimes I think he believes some of them himself. But deep down, he's not a bad guy. He cares for Danny and still considers him a friend, but he’s just lost his way completely. Desperate, is the word.

What was the highlight of the shoot for you?

To be alongside those other great actors was an honour, but my favourite part was filming in the car. We were driving up a motorway and had to turn off because of an accident, so we were suddenly stuck on these minor roads doing a long, seven-minute take. We managed to hit every light as we went through, which was really exciting.

What do you think viewers will get out of the series?

I think they’ll definitely get caught up in it. Each episode is only 30 minutes long, but there's so much going on. You could watch the episodes multiple times and get more out of each one every time.

What else are you working on?

Filming for Outlander season seven is underway, then there’s It’s All Coming Back to Me, a romcom with Celine Dion and Priyanka Chopra. I feel really lucky having been able to fit Suspect into my schedule. If there was ever a season two, I’m hopeful Ryan might pop up again...

https://www.channel4.com/press/press-pack/suspect

Movies I watched in July

Once again I’m doing my monthly round-up of movies I’ve watched. This was a good month for the cinema getting back on track and seeing new releases including the new M. Night movie, Old and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Pretty sure Marvel put out a new movie also. I’m hoping that this list can help in guiding a decision about what to watch (or what to avoid) and introduce people to movies they may otherwise not have heard of or bothered to see. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie and maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of July.

Bridesmaids (2011) - 4/10

Off to a good start. I won’t say Bridesmaids is a terrible movie but I don’t think I’m exactly the target audience. As far as I know, this is a beloved comedy but I just can’t get on board with all the boring, juvenile humour; with Maya Rudolph shitting in the street, with Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig trying to one-up each other at a toast that went on forever, with Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink… the conflict is so done to death and makes the movie feel unspecial. I do understand the appeal of the film, especially for women in that before this movie the likelihood of seeing something like this, where women play up the more crass and gross side of comedy, was probably few and far between. But the story is very tired and while I did appreciate some moments, namely a couple of decent jokes and some of the more intimate scenes, for the most part it felt like they wanted to corner a more quiet type of line delivery in a way that was supposed to be understated but very funny so as to not rely on over the top body language or musical cues, and it ended up being super dull.

Spectre (2015) - 7/10

As far as I can tell, a lot of people don’t like this instalment of the James Bond franchise… but I really enjoyed it! I’ve really taken a shine to these Daniel Craig-era Bond movies and while I can’t say any of them are the most amazing thing, I have a lot of fun with them. The biggest problem I have with Spectre is the villain being utterly pointless and uninteresting in basically every way. The idea of every villain Bond has fought before being tied to this one organisation controlled by this one guy is ridiculous, and what makes it worse is that the villain is barely in it! There’s so much that doesn’t come together in this but as it goes, I still had a really good time. Daniel Craig holds the whole thing together; he is excellent as 007 and the main reason I’m up for each of these movies is because of him. Sam Mendes directs again after the previous instalment and for what it’s worth I do think he does a good job with some of the action set pieces and the locations. I’m so ready for No Time To Die.

Shazam (2019) - 7/10

Shazam is a genuinely fun superhero movie that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I was having a great time throughout and while it could conform to some of the same tropes we’re used to with these kinds of movies, it still remained playful and used the character of Shazam to his fullest potential in a way that showed an understanding of just how silly the idea of a kid who can turn into an adult and shoot lightning out of his hands is.

High School Musical (2006) - 6/10

So as you may or may not know, I co-host a podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s a film podcast and every week I get together with my other co-hosts and watch movies. For episode 38, we watched the High School Musical trilogy. This first movie blew me away. I was really surprised with just how much fun I had, and if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the film, please listen to episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - 4/10

We then jumped into the second and while it’s certainly not as good as its predecessor, there are still some brilliant songs that manage to top the last movie. Again, more of what I have to say can be heard on episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) - 3/10

Senior Year was pretty hard to get through. I don’t remember it being as bad as it was, but then I didn’t really remember it anyway. It did however have one redeeming quality, which you can discover on episode 38 of the podcast.

The Piano Teacher (2001) - 9/10

What the fuuuckkkk. The Piano Teacher is horrendously affecting and I was so upset when it ended, maybe not because it’s not what I wanted but because it’s just so fucking dour and unrelenting. This is the second Haneke movie I’ve seen (after the original Funny Games) and I’m so impressed with how well executed it is. Following a woman who teaches piano, we get a glimpse into the life she lives, how sheltered she is from living with her mother at an age where you’d reasonably expect a person to be living alone or with a partner or friends (even going so far as to be sleeping in the same bed as her), and how repressed she is sexually. It’s clear she’s never experienced any kind of sexual interaction or romantic love with another person, so she goes out of her way to take control and make that happen. The upsetting nature of it comes from just what she does in pursuit of it or as a result of her repression, and what is done to her. It is by no means a movie to recommend to your parents but The Piano Teacher offers so much in terms of the ideas it presents (and I’ll admit there seems to be a lot more going on than I think I picked up on a first go round) about women in modern society, and about the portrayal of sex and expectations of people when it comes to how that is represented in a person’s character depending on their gender. I really enjoyed this movie but it is not for the faint of heart.

Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) - 1/10

My podcast co-hosts decided it’d be a right laugh to add Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure to this episode and that might have been a fun idea for them because they got to watch it together, but I was just watching it alone. Just a 24-year-old man watching Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure alone and having a miserable time, I might add. But for a short and sweet ramble on what we all thought, please listen to episode 38 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Dr. No (1962) - 6/10

A lot of very iffy parts of this movie. A lot of discomfort arising from how black people are portrayed that really didn’t sit right with me. As far as a Bond movie goes, this first instalment in the series is one I’ve seen before and it’s not wholly engaging but it plants the seeds for the rest, with Sean Connery breathing life into the role and making an otherwise lacklustre plot bearable.

Black Widow (2021) - 6/10

I think probably the best part about Black Widow is the experience I had while watching it. It was great being back in the cinema with a couple of friends in a packed theatre. The energy was high and I’m sure for a lot of people, this is the first time they’d been to the cinema since Endgame. For what it’s worth, I did have a lot of fun with Black Widow and I’ve explained more of what I thought about the movie in episode 39 of the podcast.

The Climb (2020) - 10/10

The Climb was added to Now TV recently and I already knew I loved it, having seen it in an empty cinema theatre last year, which I had an absolute blast with. The Climb details the years of a rocky friendship told over scenes filmed as one-shots. Not only is the presentation something to gawk at, but the performances by the two leads playing these friends with a terrifically dysfunctional dynamic is truly captivating. They’re both trying to figure out their own lives and where one can come across as being rather selfish, the opposite is true in his counterpart, whom everyone loves. This is a truly funny and heartwarming movie with a lot to say about how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to be with. It’s a shame the distributors of The Climb didn’t do a very good job because if not for it being available on Now TV, it would be near impossible to watch without forking out more money than is necessary to purchase a film.

From Russia With Love (1963) - 5/10

The second Bond movie. I thought perhaps I’d change my mind on it with another watch, having seen it for the first time maybe a year ago. But no, it’s still largely boring and it treats women like absolute garbage. From Russia With Love is one of those movies I forget as I watch it, and I was trying very hard (in the middle of the day!) not to fall asleep.

The Good, The Bart, and The Loki (2021) - 1/10

I don't usually talk about the short films I watch but for this I'll make an exception. As we all should know, Disney owns The Simpsons now, through their acquisition of Fox, so, coupled with another of their properties, that being Marvel, they decided to make a six-minute animated film wherein Marvel’s Loki is stranded in Springfield. This felt as though it was a minute long due to the horrendously jarring pacing; it is a movie that feels adamant that it needs to exist, while trying as hard as it can to be over as soon as possible. It serves only to stare the audience directly in the face and say “look, characters from The Simpsons are dressed as Avengers”, shit out three credit scenes, then end before you’ve even processed the atrocity you just bore witness to.

Russian Ark (2002) - 8/10

For this next episode of the podcast, we watched a few Russian movies, starting with Russian Ark, a film shot completely in one take as the camera moves about a luxurious museum in a first-person perspective as this main character watches what is happening around him, seeing people moving about the place but unable to interact with them, guided only by another man who seems to be just slightly out of his own perception of reality. This is a tremendous feat in filmmaking and more can be heard about what I have to say in episode 39 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Ivan’s Childhood (1962) - 7/10

For my own pick of Russian movies to discuss on the podcast, I chose the debut feature from one of my favourite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s amazing that while this is not his best film by far, Ivan’s Childhood is still such a stellar debut, jumping around in its timeline as it details a child’s experience in the second world war. Again, I do go into more depth in episode 39 of the podcast, so be sure to check that out.

Outlaw (2019) - 1/10

The third movie chosen for this marathon is apparently the fourth Russian LGBTQ+ movie ever made. I’m unsure of the ultimate goal of this movie but what seems to be clear is that it hates the LGBTQ+ community. This is perhaps the worst film we’ve discussed on the podcast to date, so listen to episode 39 to understand exactly why it’s such trash.

Almost Famous (2000) - 7/10

I too love heavy music and also studied journalism so it stands to reason that a movie about a teenager who makes his way onto a band tour, following them through America and interviewing them as they hang out and play shows is going to be a premise that resonates with me. This certainly did. I enjoyed Almost Famous a lot; this kid is living the dream and I was so along for the ride, seeing a lot of myself in what was being portrayed. That said, the story itself is at times a bit by the numbers and I really would’ve been more on board if the visual component was more interesting. For what it is, technically it’s fine enough but nothing in that department ever jumped out at me.

Minari (2021) - 8/10

It’s crazy that this didn’t get a theatrical run where I live in the UK. It feels as though I complain about film distribution all the time but I really don’t understand the process by which a movie gets no cinematic release and yet, months later will pop up on the front shelf of hmv, taking pride of place. But of course I got the blu-ray straight away. Minari has a lot to say about the immigrant experience, specifically in America as a family comes over from Korea and tries to start a business and make something of themselves. You get to see a lot of what you might not think twice about when you think about immigration: the hardship of coming from a place where you know everyone to somewhere rural and sparsely populated, having to make friends with locals and integrate within the community; the strain it can put on a family and on a marriage where this idea is presented about the importance of making it on your own in order to live and not just survive, while also taking into account why you’re doing it in the first place and the value you place on being part of a family that you decided to make because that was more important than money, than economy, than proving you were good enough to make it in a place that gave you very little advantage from the offset. This concept of the promised land, of the American dream is a construct. There are times when it’s not pretty, when you have no running water, or you’re in debt, or a family member is dying and it just feels like you’ve been dealt as bad a hand as you can get. But it is better to know you’re not facing all that alone.

Roma (2018) - 10/10

This was my recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. Roma is as beautiful as it is heart-wrenching and I would recommend listening to episode 40 of the podcast to find out more about my thoughts.

An American Werewolf In London (1981) - 8/10

In all fairness, London is enough to make anyone a little crazy at the best of times. An American Werewolf in London showcases some fantastically grotesque effects, akin to something like Carpenter’s The Thing, in showing the dead brought back to life and a horrifically gory transformation scene. Although the film is from the perspective of an American protagonist, directed also by an American, the depiction of British culture and climate is something I’ve not seen many films pull off quite so well, and I was pleasantly surprised at the more comedic tone the film has overall, which is something that works more in its favour than straight horror would.

The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) - 6/10

Karen Gillan’s directorial debut is… pretty good! There are a lot of ideas I like in this movie: a woman living life and through convenient circumstances, is confronted with death in many ways. Gillan obviously knows her homeland as well as she can, imbuing the whole thing with an intensely Scottish vibe (though maybe not in the same vein as something like Trainspotting) that makes it a bit more unique than a more run of the mill movie of this ilk, backed up in no small part by her own main performance. The plot itself is no great diversion from the kind of story I’m used to with these smaller movies and for something that’s trying to include messaging about transgender issues and suicide, it probably could have been handled better or done in a different way.

Solaris (1972) - 9/10

Another Tarkovsky joint, one I thought I’d revisit to see if there was indeed more to get out of it a second time. Well, it’s no surprise that yes, there was certainly more to get out of it. Solaris is a crazy trip of a movie and I would liken it to Kubrick’s 2001 in terms of how grand the scale of it feels. Yet this is a film that comes across as deeply personal, choosing to focus on a specific character as he goes to a space station to help those on board who are experiencing some kind of emotional crises, only to feel the effects of the planet, Solaris invading his own mind as it has the crew. To many, I can see this lengthy Russian sci-fi being a tad slow but my personal experience is one of deep engagement. Solaris pulls its viewer in a lot of different directions and it is always doing something unexpected in terms of where its narrative goes. There’s a lot to think about with the movie and thankfully it’s no chore to watch again.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001) - 9/10

Another recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. This is a very relaxed experience, following three young people as they go on a road trip, visit different places and have sex. Listen to episode 40 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast for more of my thoughts.

Children of Men (2006) - 10/10

My favourite Cuarón movie, one that never stops being tense as its characters are constantly moving towards the end goal. Set in a future where humans are infertile, the oldest living person is 18, and London is the last city in the world that’s still keeping it together, somewhat. This is masterclass filmmaking. Listen to episode 40 of the podcast for more insights.

Minority Report (2002) - 5/10

I’m really not the biggest fan of Spielberg… Minority Report is an interesting movie in terms of its concept of stopping crimes before they happen by way of prediction, but I just didn’t connect with the heart of it. The colouring is way too overexposed in a way that’s supposed to be eliciting a futuristic vibe but instead feels so early-2000’s in the worst way. My biggest problem with Minority Report is just how long it is, clocking in at two hours and twenty-five minutes which allows for a lot of meandering, all while never quite developing characters enough for you to care about.

Caché (2005) - 9/10

Oh god! Another Michael Haneke movie! Here we see a couple periodically sent video tapes featuring hours of footage of the outside of their house. The anxiety ratchets up and the mystery gets deeper with every minute. There’s always at least one moment in any of his films that have so far made me realise just how out of my depth I am. Caché is no exception, and I won’t spoil anything here because I think it’s better just to watch the movie and see for yourself. He is a director that wants the audience to know something and that something is never what is explicitly shown at face value; it is pressed into the fabric of the film - plainly evident, yet hidden. Caché is so stupidly clever in displaying its themes and messaging - making reference to the Siene Massacre of 1961 as well as a deeper study of colonialism - and there’s no way to change a single detail of it without risking the Jenga tower crumbling to the ground. It all works in tandem. It is passion and fury and haunting.

Coco (2017) - 7/10

Pixar had a string of around seven forgettable movies before this point so thankfully Coco emerged to show the company still had something good in them. Coco deals a lot with themes of death and legacy, remembering those who are gone in order to preserve them and while its plotting is quite basic and there are certainly moments that either drag or cannot escape the same Pixar formula, most of what the movie has to offer is a lot of fun, with creative, colourful animation and emotional beats that resonate the way they’re supposed to.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - 5/10

Oh, they almost had it! There's a lot here that could have been explored in far more interesting ways. Setting Incredibles 2 directly after the events of the first movie was not a good idea. If it had taken place five or ten years after, the characters could have been in different places in life and it would feel as though they'd actually changed and developed. But instead of trying to be a film that actually cares about its characters and the journeys they go on, a lot of the film is wrestling with the idea that Bob isn't supportive of his wife and Jack-Jack has to fight a raccoon… They have to shoehorn in a villain that in no way compares to the genius of the original. The ending of the original introduces another antagonist that gets wrapped up within this film's first ten minutes, except they don't catch him and he's never mentioned again. It's a real shame because the animation is fantastic and the acting is superb and there are great ideas sprinkled throughout. It just doesn't come together.

Toy Story 4 (2019) - 6/10

I was rather reluctant to watch Toy Story 4 because from the get-go I’m not really here for sequels being made just for the sake of it. Everyone loves Toy Story and making another one is a sure fire way to make money. This is the first time I’ve seen Toy Story 4 and for what it’s worth, I did enjoy it. The animation is immaculate and that alone feels like a huge flex from Pixar who tend to step up the game when it comes to animation in film, despite not having the best track record for films generally at this point. While it was nice to see these characters again, I found a lot of them to be side-lined (namely Buzz) in favour of a story that focuses mainly or entirely on Woody, who I just don’t like as much as in the previous movies. Generally the movie is good and decent enough but there’s no real antagonist and the plot is quite loose… it doesn’t feel as though it needed to be made from a story point of view.

Onward (2020) - 6/10

And with that I have seen every Pixar movie. And Onward is a fine one to go out on. While I don’t think it compares to the likes of earlier Pixar it’s still pretty fun. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a medieval setting filled with bright colours and magic! Speaking of which, the animation was super and the medieval quest element is something that hooked me with the film. Again, plot-wise it does feel very familiar and I don’t know, maybe I’m past the point now of expecting Pixar to mix it up where their formula for story-telling is concerned but the movie is quite predictable. Nonetheless, while I’m not rushing back to see Onward I would hardly turn it off or refuse if someone wanted to watch it.

Old (2021) - 3/10

Oh boy! New M. Night movie dropped and my word, was it fun! For more of my thoughts on this… masterpiece (?) of a movie, please direct your attention to episode 41 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

T2 Trainspotting (2017) - 5/10

Trainspotting is perhaps one of my favourite movies and I had never bothered with the sequel, 20 years on, because the ending of that first movie is so conclusive. T2 felt more an excuse for these guys to get together again and in that, I probably would have preferred a couple of pictures on Twitter of the main cast and director, Danny Boyle having dinner or something. This is a fine movie - very arty in its presentation but meandering and dull in its story that doesn’t offer much in the way of proof that it had to exist.

Taste of Cherry (1997) - 9/10

What makes life worth living? This is a central question and theme of Taste of Cherry, and one that leaves such interpretation not only up to its central character but to the viewer as well. This film got me thinking about times in my life when I truly have had no answer to hard questions. Because it’s hard to convince people of things they are so adamantly against and harder still to rationalise what you believe if you’re not even entirely sure why you believe it in the first place. We are all of us alive and in recognising that, does that make it precious? And if indeed living is not a happy thing, why then should we fight so hard to preserve it? I felt upset as I watched this movie because I’ve been asked these kinds of questions before and it makes me feel stupid when I’m unable to answer. But the only real answer I can give is, everything. And if you can’t see the point then you’re not looking hard enough. Taste of Cherry is beautiful in its exploration of these topics and in its overall presentation, offering some of the best visuals in any movie I’ve seen - fitting for a feature with so much to say about the beauty of life - and an ending that as much pulls the rug out from under you as it does pull you out of the dark and make you realise just how lonely you’ve felt.

Bones (2001) - 2/10

Snoop Dogg is Jimmy Bones! This film is super funny but I’m not sure it’s trying to be and I really didn’t love it overall. But I do talk more in depth about it in episode 41 of the podcast.

The Duchess (2008) - 5/10

Another recommendation for the podcast. The Duchess was pretty much exactly what I thought it was going to be and there’s a lot to like about it but generally it’s a bit sparse. For more chat on the movie, listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) - 1/10

This was another one for the podcast and man, was it awful. We had to watch it at 1.5x speed towards the end because it just wasn’t getting finished otherwise. To find out more, make sure to listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - 7/10

Pull the lever, Kronk! Haha! Slays me. I do quite miss this era of Disney, where the animation was hand-drawn and the stories were actually compelling and funny. The Emperor’s New Groove is vibrant, it’s got great characters and memorable moments that will forever be ingrained in the memory of culture. All in all, it’s just a solid flick that doesn’t waste time, developing the standard fall from glory type of arc but smoothly and in an entertaining way.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - 8/10

Oh, bloody hell! They actually made a good one! The Suicide Squad is not only better than the ‘Suicide Squad’ of 2016 in every way, it’s a genuinely great film! This time, James Gunn (director of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies) is at the helm and it seems clear that Warner Bros. basically let him do what he wanted with the movie, as it doesn’t seem to bog itself down with the restrictions of a more family-friendly rating. The result of this is a far cleaner, colourful film with a clearer vision that takes from early Vietnam movies and uses that style to craft a superhero/villain movie that differentiates itself among the copious amount of existing films of the genre.      The Suicide Squad wastes very little time, introducing fun, crazy characters we’ve not seen on the big screen before and isn’t worried about killing a whole bunch of them, with standouts being Elba’s Bloodsport, Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, Stallone’s King Shark (expertly rendered with fantastic visual effects), and Robbie’s returning interpretation of Harley Quinn.      A lot of Gunn’s trademark sense of humour is laced throughout and more often than not, it hits. The audience at the cinema were truly loving this movie and I’ll admit, I was right there with them. This mix of the gritty, gory and absurd is not something that should work as well as it does but the basic premise of the film is already so silly (and boy, do they know it) that it just works! Certainly one of the best DC movies since The Dark Knight and one I’d be more than happy to watch again. This is what the modern comic book movie should be: just balls to the wall fun!

Don’t Get Caught

A/N: Hey everyone, hope y’all are doing well. I wrote this little fic one-shot thingy for @crashdevlin​‘s 3k review challenge. I got prompt #13. Big congratulations to Cassie for hitting 3k followers! Hope Dean somewhat likes this fic.

Summary: Sam and Dean are hunters, but what if Y/N doesn’t want to be one?

Word count : 2.9k

“What’s for dinner tonight? If you say burgers again, I will tell Sam and then you’ll have to little with the ‘eat healthy’ lecture again.” You walked into the kitchen, peering over Dean’s shoulder to look at what he was making. “As much as I love your burgers, we’ve had them four days in a row and if I see another one today, I’m gonna actually throw up.”

“I liked it better when you didn’t snark back. Now it’s like living with teenage Sam all over again. Teenagers are the fucking worst,” Dean lightly quipped back giving you a look that confirmed he was just teasing. “And it’s chicken pasta tonight, you little monster. I can switch things up every once in a while.”

“You liked me better when I was too scared to offend you in case you threw me out?” you deadpanned, quirking an eyebrow at Dean. He gave you a look. He clearly didn’t appreciate your humour regarding your rough start with them.

You met Sam and Dean on a hunt. They were appalled that a 15-year-old was hunting alone and basically forced their way into your life. Dean, specially, refused to leave you alone, no matter how many times you pushed him away. Your parents had been hunters and not the most affectionate people, so when pushing the Winchesters away had failed and they had successfully wormed their way into your heart, you were so scared that the first real family you had was going to abandon you if you weren’t enough, you didn’t dare place a toe out of the imaginary line you had created for yourself. It took a long time for them to get you to open up to them and come out of your shell. You never knew why they chose you. From what you knew, they had met other hunter kids before but for some reason, instead of pawning you off to the first responsible adult who could keep you safe, they welcomed you into their life and their home. Your home, you reminded yourself.

“Pasta sounds great. You’re gonna make me fat with all your cooking you know. I’ll have to start running with Sam. I hate running with Sam,” you whined, changing the subject before Dean could start reprimanding you.

“Everybody hates running with Sam,” Dean said, letting go of your previous comment. “And you’re healthy, which is all that matters. I don’t want you thinking about getting fat, you do enough exercise to balance out your eating habits.”

You rolled your eyes. For a guy who claimed to hate ‘chick-flick’ moments, Dean Winchester sure initiated a whole lot of them. Dean lightly clipped you in the back of your head when he saw you shrugging of his words of wisdom. You could see he was gearing up for another lecture. He was such a dad.

“Where’s Sam anyway?”

Dean clearly knew what you were doing but he let you have your moment of victory anyway. If he had learned anything in the past 2 years with you, it was to pick his battles. So, he let it go. For now.

Sam came back in time for dinner. It was one of Dean’s new rules. If you were not on a case, dinner was family time and everyone had to eat at the table. Sam agreed. While Dean acted more like a dad than Sam, the younger Winchester was just as bad. You remembered when Sam accidentally found the pack of condoms in your room. You winced at the memory. There had been a lot of yelling, followed by an awkward conversation about being safe. It was traumatic for all parties involved and you both mutually decided not to tell Dean. If Sam overreacted, you definitely never wanted to see Dean’s reaction.

Being scared of Dean’s reaction was one of the main reasons why you didn’t tell him about the play you were taking part in for school. Yes, you had to go to school. Apparently, high school was important. While you hated school and people in general, you fell in love with theatre. Signing up for drama club had been a blessing for you. Pretending to be someone else and telling stories and being on stage was the only thing that got you through worrying about the brothers when they were out on hunts. But you knew you had to be a hunter. It was the family business after all. So, you never told Sam or Dean what you were doing.

You knew they were getting suspicious. The practices for the play were getting more intense and you could only use the excuse of having detention or staying back to study in the library so many times. For one, they knew that after five consecutive detentions, the school called the parents or guardians, and B – they knew how much you hated school. Just the fact that you were staying a minute more than you had to was a big red flag, specially when you had a perfectly good library at the bunker.

You still had to think of an excuse about going out at night on the final day. While the dress rehearsal was in the afternoon, the actual production was late in the evening and you knew there was no way you could sneak out of the bunker.

While you were pacing in your room trying to think of ideas, the brothers were contemplating your recent behaviour in the kitchen while they did the dishes.

“I don’t know man; she’s been shifty all week. I’m starting to get the feeling she wants us out of the bunker. She keeps bringing up every possible lead for a case. When was the last time Y/N purposely looked for a potential hunt? She hates being left alone. Something’s going on.”

Sam knew Dean was right. This was unusual behaviour for you. Even when you were mad at them, you never hid things. Coupled with all your lame-ass excuses for staying back at school, Sam had a feeling Dean was onto something.

“You don’t think something’s off at school, do you?”

Sam knew all about peer pressure. He also knew Y/N was extremely strong willed but so was he and he still got roped into smoking weed in college. Not that he thought Y/N would ever get into drugs, specially the heavy kind but there was always the niggling sensation at the back of his head going ‘what if?’.

“She would have told us if there was something bothering her,” Sam tried to sound confident but he could hear the uncertainty in her own voice.

Dean paused where he was drying the dishes, looked over at his brother and decided enough is enough.

“Here’s the thing – there’s trusting someone and just being plain stupid. Y/N is definitely hiding something and I’d rather she be mad at us for invading her privacy than regret not stepping in sooner. So, seeing how she desperately wants us out of the bunker next week, we’re going to go out of the bunker. Find a fake case Sammy, we’re going fake hunting.” Dean managed a nonchalant grin as he went back to his dishes. Sam contemplated for a moment and reluctantly agreed.

It was 2 days before the play and you still hadn’t figured out how to sneak out. You contemplated telling them you had a sleepover or a party to get to but they knew you well enough to know you didn’t get along with your classmates. If only you could dumb yourself down enough to socialise with them. You sighed and mindlessly browsed through the men of letters library.

“Hey kiddo, we found a hunt a couple of towns over. Looks like a simple salt n’ burn. You gonna be okay on your own for a couple of days?” Sam’s voice jerked you back to reality and when you registered what he was saying, you barely managed to keep yourself from squealing out loud.

Your giddiness must have been obvious as Sam and Dean shared one of those looks – the ones you hated – and asked you if you were alright.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. And yes, I’ll be good by myself. When are you guys leaving?”

If they had any second thoughts about their plan before, your answer just got rid of them. You were never this excited about a hunt and you always, always asked about every little detail.

“We’re probably gonna leave tonight, drive overnight to avoid the traffic. So, I for one am gonna catch some zee’s while I can. Unlike Disney princess hair over here, I won’t be getting sleep on the road.”

“You know that wouldn’t be a problem if you’d let me drive for a change!”

“Hell no, I ain’t listening to your classical crap.”

You shook your head at their antics as they walked away. Finally, things were going your way.

Things were not going your way. The brothers had left the previous evening (although they didn’t go far, but you didn’t have to know that). The day of the play had arrived and you were already nervous when you heard that the male lead was sick and his understudy had to step in. You hated him. He was one of those cocky high school boys who thought they were the shit. You had to reluctantly admit that at least the guy wasn’t the worst actor in the world. Although, if he kept hitting you with his cheesy pickup lines, you were going to stab him. Hard.

Dean and Sam spent the night at a motel before making their way back to the bunker after you’d left for school. After taking a quick shower and grabbing fresh clothes, the brothers took one of the more inconspicuous cars in the bunker basement and parked outside the school. They knew you would recognise the Impala immediately but you’d never really been interested in the other cars, much to Dean’s dismay.

“Never thought we’d be staking out Y/N,” Dean said wryly.

“Well, at least everything is normal for now. Maybe we were wrong and she’s just being a teenager you know.”

Dean doubted it but didn’t say anything. They waited for Y/N to come out when school finally ended but she never did. Sam even scoped out where the stoner kids were and she wasn’t there, much to his relief. Finally, Y/N came out 3 hours after school ended, looking extra tired but otherwise alright. The brothers shared a confused glance but sighed in relief. At least she wasn’t doing anything illegal.

You went straight home and fell asleep to recharge before your performance tonight. You got up in the evening, one hour before you had to be at school to calm your nerves.

Sam and Dean were confused. Y/N had done what she would normally do on any other day. Maybe she stayed in school for a longer time than usual but other than that, she didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

Dean suddenly had a horrifying thought.

“Dude, if this whole thing is about a boy, I’m gonna actually kill her.”

Before Sam could reply, they saw Y/N leaving the bunker.

“It’s late. Where the hell is she going? And what the hell is she wearing?” Dean’s voice grew more incredulous with each question. “If she’s sneaking out to a party, I’m grounding her. I don’t care how old she is.”

They followed her without being seen. To the school? What the hell?

There was a lot of buzz at the school despite the late hour. Confused, the brothers got out of their car and followed Y/N inside, making sure to stay a few feet behind her.

“Is it just me or are there a lot of adults here?” Dean asked.

Then they saw the poster outside the hall Y/N had just entered. Rock Hills presents ‘West Side Story: the musical’. Sam stood there gaping at the poster and Dean had never been more confused in his life.

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know”

“Seriously. What the hell?”

“I don’t know!”

“Come on. Let’s go in,” Sam nudged his brother in the direction that the other parents were going.

The host said something about the show starting in 5 minutes but they ignored him and made their way backstage. They located Y/N quite easily. She was standing in a corner, mentally psyching herself. They made their way towards her and gently tapped her on the shoulder.

You were just minding your own business in the corner of the room before the show, going through the whole spiel of ‘why did I do this’ and ‘holy shit I’m gonna throw up’ when you felt a hand tap your shoulder. Startled, you jumped and turned around to glare at whoever disturbed you, when you froze. Sam and Dean were staring at you incredulously and had your legs been working you would probably have hightailed out of there.

“Fuck,” you softly exclaimed under your breath.

“Something you wanna share with the class kiddo?”

You couldn’t make out the exact emotion in Dean’s voice but it didn’t sound like anger. You held onto that and realised you had to be on stage in less than sixty seconds.

“Uhm, hold that thought,” was what you said instead. You went to peek through the curtain. Yep, 45 seconds.

“I love you! No time to explain – gotta go!”

With that you rushed on stage, more terrified than ever. That melted away once you started performing though. You forgot all about your worries for the duration of the play. You acted, sang and danced your heart out and when the thundering applause reached your ears and you saw the brothers in the audience cheering you on along with everyone else, you had a feeling it would be okay.

You were backstage again, taking off your stage make-up and gearing up to go face the music as it were. You were scared of the brother’s reaction and even you could tell you were procrastinating. Most of the other cast had left and it was time for you to leave too.

They were standing outside, leaning against a car. The first thing that stupidly came out of your mouth was – “Where’s baby?”

Dean laughed. A full belly laugh. You felt some of your anxiety leave your body.

The three of you looked at each other. Sam was the first one to make a move. He pulled you in for a tight hug, almost lifting your feet off the ground, kissing the top of your head.

“You were incredible, kiddo.”

You buried yourself into his chest as your eyes filled with tears of relief. Of acceptance.

“Thanks moose,” Your reply was muffled against his chest which moved with silent laughter at the nickname.

You finally pulled away from Sam when Dean cleared his throat. He looked at you blankly for a moment and dread filled your entire being.

“You ever pull something like this again, I will kick your ass.”

For a second you thought he was talking about the play and your heart dropped.

But then he pulled you into a hug too. You tensed, confused.

“Dammit kid, I don’t like being worried about you. Stop doing shit like this. Why the hell didn’t you just tell us you were taking part in this thing? You’re not nearly as good at the hiding thing as you think you are. I was terrified something shady was going on with you.”

Although he was almost yelling in your ear, you sagged against him as the tension seeped out of your body. This time you actually did start crying. Dean just hugged you tighter and Sam gently rubbed your back.

After a few minutes Dean pulled back a little and put both hands on either side of your head.

“You never have to hide anything from us. By now I like to think I know how your mind works and I can guarantee that I will never be mad at you if you want to pursue anything other than hunting. You’re not our kid because you’re a hunter Y/N/N. You’re family, regardless of your job. Clearly I’m not doing a very good job at this parenting thing if you don’t know that already.”

You furiously shook your head, hiding your face in his shirt again.

“You’re the best dad anyone could ask for. You both are.”

Your words were barely audible and your face was extremely red but the brothers still heard you and grinned at each other over your head.

“We love you too, kiddo.” Dean kissed your forehead and started walking towards the car, pulling you along.

“What do you say we get some ice cream and celebrate at the bunker? We could watch some movies, make some popcorn? You know what I’m in the mood for Sammy? West Side Story,” Dean grinned as you groaned into his shoulder.

The brothers continued to tease you as you walked to the car. You finally felt happy.

“But seriously guys, where is baby?”

Ironhide x reader imagine ~ TF1

~Ironhide was legit my very first crush. Then he died in Dark of the moon so then I kinda was like ‘bee is kind of cute.’ Therefore that led to becoming madly in love with Bumblebee. Anyways enjoy!~

You see being a teenager and figuring out your GMC truck isn't just a truck but an alien robot it kinda fucks your head up.

Normally you don't see a 17 year old going out on a full out alien war but hey that's just your crazy life right?

After the first war you became really good friends with Sam but sadly he had moved on with Mikaela which was cool since you had Ironhide to hang out with you.

Throughout your time with him, he had taught you a lot. Mostly about guns and bad ass missions he went on back on Cybertron which you didn't mind cause who wouldn't want to hear cool as stories about giant alien robots kicking ass?!

Tonight you were gonna pick up (name) for you and his movie date. Of course you were excited. You had always had a crush on him every since you two little kids.

The school bell takes you away from your thoughts and you grabbed your binders and you head out it (class) class.

You see (name) leaning against your locker as you smiled at him. "Hey, (name) how was class?" He asked as he chuckled. "It was good I guess. (Class) is (class)." You replied as you tucked a lock of your (h/c) hair behind your ear.

He smiled as he leaned down and kissed your cheek. "You see tonight ."

You blushed but nodded as you watched him leave. You sigh dreamily at him as you then opened your locker and grabbed your (colour and size) backpack.

You closed your locker and head out to of the school to the parking lot where Hide was parked at.

As you get to the parking lot you see a few girls making cow eyes at Hide. Heat swept through your cheeks.

Wha-what the heck is going?!

You felt angry and jealous. What?! Me jealous?!

Without anymore hesitation, feeling sick to your stomach watching the girls touch his hold you snapped.

"Hey!" They turn to look at you as you stormed at them. "Get your hands of him-my truck!" You spat as the girls side stepped as they looked at you.

"This is your truck?" The blonde one asked as you rolled your (e/c) colour eyes. "Damn right, now get your hands away from him-m-my truck!" You snapped as you stuttered the last part.

"Chill out weirdo we were just checkout the truck."

Your face went a dark shade of red. "Well I don't want you doing that again-and don't ever touch him-my truck!"

The girls whispered to each other as you glared at him, ignoring the warmth of his hood underneath your touch.

The girls walked away as you let out a shaky breath. You step away from Hide for a moment, wondering what the hell just had happened.

"You ok kid?" Hide asked through the radio as I nodded, throwing my bag onto the passenger seat before getting into the driver's side.

"So what are we gonna do tonight kid?"

You chuckled nervously, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "Oh um..well I have a..a date.." You mumble as Hide instantly pressed on the brakes nearly smashing your face against the steering wheel.

"Ironhide what the-"

"A what?!"

You worked down a swallow as you shifted in the seat. "A date..like when two humans go out together." You replied as he snorted in disgust. "Hide what the hell is wrong with you?"

He didn't reply. He started up again and drove you home.

:later that night:

As you got ready you couldn't get Ironhide out of your head.

Why did he act like that?

You shook your head side to side trying to get Hide out of your head. You then added some makeup to your face.

A little bit of coverup. Mascara and eye liner. You then went to your closet and pulled out a pair of (colour) jeans, a (colour) t-shirt and your (colour) jean jacket.

You pulled on ankle socks and your (colour) Vans. You grabbed your purse, phone and wallet. You brushed your hair and left it down.

You take in a deep breath before heading down the stairs and giving your parents a quick kiss on their cheeks. "I want you home at 11 o'clock and don't be late." Your father stated sternly as you nodded.

"Yes ok. Bye!" You run out the door and to the driveway and hopped in the driver side and Ironhide grumbled something before starting up and the radio played one of your favourite songs.

"I want to hold you when I'm not suppose to. When I'm lying next to someone else. Your stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it. I could do it all again. I know I'd go back to you!" You sang out as you hummed the rest of the lyrics as you pulled into (name's) driveway and he steps out from his porch.

As he went to open the passenger door it wouldn't budge. "Hey um..(y/n) the doors locked." You raised a brow as you clicked the unlock button but it locked again.

You rolled your (e/c) eyes before you leaned over and opened the door. "Sorry (name) my truck can sometimes be stupid."

He chuckled before getting in and you drive off to the movies. During the drive he reached out and you both held hands as your other hand rested on the steering wheel.

Ironhide thankfully didn't act up anymore. Part of you felt guilty for calling Hide stupid. He wasn't stupid. He meant a lot to you but sometimes he could get on your nerves.

Once you pull up to the movie theatre you find a parking spot and both you and (name) get out and in hand in hand walk to the front doors.

As you look over your shoulder, staring at Hide one last time. Why do I feel like I'm making a mistake?

:after the movie:

You pull up to his house and you smiled at him. Through out the movie you felt at ease.

Happy even. (Name) made you giggle a lot as he would put his arm around you or kiss your cheek.

He made you feel bubbly and just-God you could swoon over him, but part of you didn't feel right.

You had non-stopped thought about Hide. All you could think about was him and how you got jealous of those girls.

You thought about him getting jealous over you and (name).

"I had fun (y/n) I really did.."

You smiled as you looked at him. Your (e/c) eyes met his dark (e/c) ones.

Slowly you both leaned towards each other. You could feel the warmth of his breath against your lips. Just before (name) could kiss you, Ironhide jerked the seat forward and backwards ruining the moment.

"I'm so sorry! I don't-my truck has some issues but-"

He cut you off with a soft kiss on the cheek. "It's ok (y/n), see you tomorrow."

You blushed but nodded as he smiled at you once more before heading out and to his house.

You then kicked the radio. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?!" You snapped at Hide, instantly regretting it.

Of course he didn't response so without another word you put him in drive and pulled out of (name's) driveway and down the road.

"I can't believe you right now! First you try to lock (name) out. Then you nearly throw him off the seat! What the fuck!" You yelled angrily as you clenched hard on the steering wheel.

Suddenly the truck jerks and you nearly hit face first on the steering wheel.

"CAUSE I LIKE YOU!" He snarled through the com-link throwing you off big time.

He likes me? You thought as your heart was beating out of your chest.

Ironhide pulled to the side off the road and his hologram appeared on the passenger side seat.

His hologram form was an eye full. The large body figure-muscle and all. His hair was jet black that kinda looks like a purple-silver in the faint moon light.

He wore dark jeans, a grey t-shirt that might you say cling onto his biceps. His eyes were a strikingly electric blue.

His skin was dark-like the colour of creamy coffee. Around his arms he had jet black tattoos-Cybertonian tattoos. He didn't look at me, he let out a faint sigh as he leaned over.

"Look, I hated the fact that you had that damn kid in here with you-and you didn't like those human girls checking out my alt mode.."

"Why the hell are you bringing this up now?" You hissed as more heat swept through your (skin colour) cheeks. "Why does it bother us so much if we are near or with other people?" He added on as you lowered my gaze.

"Maybe cause we're just that special?"

He groaned, dragging his hands down his face before grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him.

"God your so difficult."

"Hey-what I'm-MPH!"

In moment his lips collied with yours. Your (e/c) eyes widened at the sudden action but slowly you began to relax in his kiss.

His lips were warm and soft. Fitting perfectly against yours. You mimicked the movement of his lips for a while until he finally pulled away.

You both were out of breath, your faces both red and you couldn't help but stare at him in shock.

"Look-I don't know what I'm doing-or how to react to these emotions that I feel towards you but I know what I feel towards you is real. I like the feeling of it and if you don't-"

"-I like you too." You stuttered out as you cut him off from his sentence. You saw him tense up and his whole interior of his alt mode begin I heat up making you bite your lip at the sudden warmth.

"You do?" He asked, finally breaking he silence as you nodded, meeting his gaze.

"Yes I do."

He smirked a little as he pulled you towards him. Your face heated up a bit more. "In that case I would like to kiss you again but also ask you formally like you humans do it on earth. Will you be my girlfriend-or as we say it on Cyberton..will you be my Sparkmate?"

You smiled as you nodded eagerly. "Yes! Yes I say yes to it all." You replied cheerfully as Ironhide cupped your face and kissed you hard on the mouth.

You never had been kissed like this before. It was exhilarating! A kiss that made you want more and more.

You both broke the kiss and he smiled at you. You face flushed as you looked away.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You have two minutes before it hits 11 o'clock (nickname)"

You (e/c) eyes widened as you looked at the radio clock. "Oh shit! I'm gonna be late!"

You hopped off his lap and I to the driver's seat and sped down the road.

What a night eh?

Hello my little Sweetparks!

I hope you all are enjoying my imagines so far! Any thoughts of the new one shot?💗

More updates are still to come so stay tuned for more! Or please don’t be afraid to request anything! I’ll gladly take your requests!!!

nefelibata, petrichor, and a wildcard of your choice, pls and thank youuuu!

nefelibata; do you think you’re an imaginative person?

uh, yeah !! def!! i feel like i’m always making up a story or a character or a world. i’m in my head imagining stuff more often than not haha 

petrichor; favourite type of weather?

any type of grey weather tbh!!! rainy !!!!!!!!! foggy !!!!! big thunderstorms !!!!!! windy !!!!!!! but all of the above is the best of the best to me !!!! so yeah, witchy scottish weather basically, i’m such a cliche! 

denouement; tell me about an ending to a book or movie that you really loved.

picked this for the wildcard because denouement is a GREAT word and because i loooove endings. i’ll try not to spoil things because i’m not rude but 

here some of my fav movie endings: 

birdy (1984) --> this is probably my favourite movie ending of all time. i won’t ruin it for those who haven’t seen it, but birdy is a bit of a weird movie, based on an even weirder book, still, it’s a really moving story of friendship at its core, but also trauma, and the ending is just... chef’s kiss. it takes you somewhere unexpected and ends kind of abruptly but it is, imo, perfection. it’s jarring, it’s funny, it fits the weirdness of the film. 

the circus (1928) --> i love how hopeful the ending to the circus is. chaplin’s tramp has lost everything, again, he’s left alone, left behind, the circus is moving on, and he’s sitting down as the sun rises, looking utterly alone and defeated, but then... he sighs, picks himself up, walks away from the camera, before adding a little bounce in his step. it’ll all be okay. it’s beautifully shot. 

1917 (2019) --> anyone who talked to me at any point last winter knows that this has become one of my favourite favourite films. i found it so profoundly moving with a beautifully understated performance from the lead. there are no words to describe the sense of satisfaction i got in the theatre when i saw that tree in the background at the end and i realised sam mendes was going to bookend his film perfectly. with schofield resting behind the line against a tree both as an opener and a closer. ugh, i love a sexy parallel. 

titanic (1997)  --> i mean ??? the prophecy gets fulfilled and rose dies an old lady comfy in her bed?? and we get to see proof of her vibrant beautiful and, most importantly hers, life ??? and rose and jack gets reunited for one last big movie kiss?? i do think it takes great skill to make a movie that is ultimately a tragedy/drama and still manage to offer the viewer a satisfying ending that doesn’t detract from the pain and sadness of the tragedy but leaves a sense of peace and warmth. i do hate to give james cameron rights but damn. he did that. 

pride (2014) --> nothing is going to top the feeling of seeing those miners opening london’s pride. just....... this is what serotonin feels like. 

the truman show (1998) --> i love when endings so concretely feel like beginnings. there’s something so beautiful about an artist making you love a character and showing you just part of their stories and leaving you with a sense that they have so much left to accomplish. i know some people find open endings frustrating and i get that, but to me, it leaves us with such a sense of... idk, joy ? because in a way nothing is finite when there’s more story to tell. when you think back to that character, you think of possibilities. and it’s especially moving in the truman show because here’s a main character whose entire journey is about that leap to freedom and towards a life free from the viewer (whether that means in-universe or us) 

dunkirk (2017) --> i am so so so so so obsessed with chris nolan’s choice to end the movie on fionn whitehead’s face with that silence. after such a big sequence with that rousing speech being quoted and that music.... it’s such a jarring moment to have this kid trying to puzzle what he just read and what he just went through. there’s a sense of ... idk confusion almost but also just of being slightly overwhelmed. it’s a great piece of acting and just takes you, as a viewer, completely out of the ‘cinematic experience’ and into the reality of a moment instead, just before the end. i fucking love it. 

i could probably go on for much longer because as i said, i love endings and a good ending, and i love films, but i feel like i’ve already cheated by talking about more than one haha. 

beautiful words asks

Endgame things and thoughts

Nebula and Tony hanging out was so adorable they have my heart :<

Carol singlehandingly bringing a wholeass ship back to earth ?ugh her mind

Thanos just chilling and cooking and Carol just fucking going for him is poetic cinema

Thor saying “I went for the head”

5 FUCKINF YEARS?!

Scott being saved by a rat? Iconic.

Scott panicking when looking for Cassie’s name then seeing her all grown up and ok was heartbreaking specially knowing he didn’t get to see her grow up

Scott giving all he could to get the others back and trying his best not to breakdown when mentioning Hope

“She’s my.. she was my..”

Scott saying he lost someone very important to him :((

I dont rlly ship them but the Carol and Rhodey interaction was cool of them to reference

Carol and Nat’s hair is sending me

Tony as a father is so adorable and i love morgan already

I’ve read posts saying that Tony rejecting helping them with the time heist was sefish, but he just didn’t want to risk losing the people he loves again. He didn’t want his daughter to lose a father or lose Pepper since him being back was already a second chance for him

Peter being his motivation :((

Morgan is so much like his dad uwu Tony is such a great dad

Valkyrie in midgaurdian clothes

KORG

Thor having a beer belly made the entire theatre gasp lmao

I also think they did him dirty. Specially since he clearly had ptsd and it seemed like they just turned it to a joke

Scott turning into a baby and Tony knowing he turned to a baby lmao

Bruce giving Scott tacos after his first one fell

Scott being friendly to Nebula :<

Scott giving 2012 Tony a cardiac arrest and 2023 Tony shouting for help lmao

“I could do this all day” “I know”

“That’s America’s ass”

Loki mocking steve

Loki’s lil wave at hulk in the elevator :< i miss my bitch

I really thought they’d make the elevator scene a parallel to the one in tws and we’d see a fight again

2012 Steve letting go of 2023 Steve when he told him that Bucky was alive

Steve and Tony in the 70s!

they should’ve had Dominic Cooper play Howard again.

Tony talking to his dad about his daughter

Peggy still having Steve’s photograph just like he has her’s :((

Steve seeing Peggy :((

JARVIS MY MAN

Nat and Clint being happy and giddy in space makes me cry now knowing whats gonna happen next

Peter singing without music lmao

Fuck thanos for hurting both nebulas

When Clint and Nat’s foreheads were together:( i love their friendship

“Please let me go” :(( Natasha deserved better

The fact that this film values family is so sweet

Thor and Frigga’s interaction and Thor saying his last goodbye to Frigga :((

Thor wanting to be the one to hold the gauntlet so he could do something right :<

Clint’s reaction when his wife called

Why does thanos always let the others do his work smh

Cap wielding mjolnir lemme tell u everyone in the theatre sCREAMED

The shot where Steve was ready to fight thanos and his army alone even before he knew the others would come is just-

“On your left”

Everyone who were gone appearing was so powerful

When peter appeared everyone cHEERED

The fact that everyone was there, Wakandans, Wong, the guardians etc iCONIC

“Avengers, assemble.” C h i l l s

Peter telling Tony what happened and tony hugging him

“Oh this is nice”

T’challa finally saying Clint’s name lmao

Captain Marvel’s entrance

Carol really just flew through a fucking battleship and managed to come out without a single scratch

“Hi im peter parker” “hey peter parker, you got something for me?”

HOPE VAN DYNE

“Is that everyone?” “Like you wanted more?”

“I don’t even know who you are” “you will” Amen sister

And the fact that Wanda singlehandedly nearly killed thanos and thanos had to recruit his army cos he got threatened by a woman

When Peter met Gamora and said “I thought I lost you”

Gamora kicking his balls HAHA

The all women scene was so powerful the entire theatre cheered

It upsets me tho that Natasha who brought them together wasn’t there

Hope and scott teaming up again oh god we dont deserve them

Captain marvel going for thanos the second time and when he tried punching her and she didnt flinch

Tony looking at Stephen was the time he knew what was supposed to be done

When tony had the gauntlet

“I’m inevitable” “i am iron man”

Peter going for tony “mr stark, can you hear me? It’s me peter.” “We won Mr. Stark. We won. You did it”

Pepper gently putting peter aside :((

The fact that pepper said “but will u be able to rest” back in their home when tony told her about the time travel thing and while he was slowly dying she told him “it’s okay, you can rest now”

Also when pepper was trying so hard to pull herself together and even said “we’re going to be okay.” And when she gave him a final kiss in the cheek but breaking down when Tony finally died

Tony’s last message while we see Clint reuniting with his family, T’challa, Shuri and Ramonda watching over the city, Hope, Cassie and Scott watching the sky and being happy

When hologram Tony looked at Morgan and said “I love you 3000” :((

the fact that Morgan lost his father at such a young age and that she wouldn’t get to grow up with a father. She probably doesn’t even understand what was going on

Morgan hugging her mom,, she must be so confused

When everyone was there for the funeral :( even Harley

Carol in those pants? G a y

Bucky in that jacket and jeans? Also gay

VALKYRIE AS THE QUEEN OF ASGARD? Iconic

Peter still searching for Gamora :((

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “ur bringing all the stupid with u” THAT REFERENCE

“I’ll miss you” “it’s gonna be alright buck” Bucky knew what Steve was gonna do and that he wouldn’t come back

IM LIVING FOR SAM AS THE NEW CAP

“Wanna tell me about her?” *looks to the view and slowly smiles* “no, i dont think i will” HE CLEARLY HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND HE DESERVES IT

Steve and Peggy looked so happy and content and they deserve it

I still didn’t get why some didn’t like Steve’s arc,, Steve created a different timeline in which he comes back to Peggy and they both chose to get married and live together. So there is a different timeline where Peggy moved on, but in this timeline Steve and Peggy gets to be happy and grow old together. Steve is happy and he deserves to be :)

Also do u guys ever wonder if steve came back to the same date and place Peggy told him when he was about to crash the plane :((

The way the movie ended tho,, when right after we see Steve and Peggy dancing and kissing it cuts to black and the lyrics of the song start as the credits start rolling too. It’s such a beautiful way to conclude the phase :”( they ended it with Steve in the 40s, the very first avenger and the decade it all began.

Also the credits where they had their signatures :((

Anyway thats all thanks for coming to my tedtalk,, also feel free to add some more of ur thoughts from the film :)

Skyfall - #24WeeksofBond

We are officially past the halfway mark, and what a way to kick off the second half of 24 Weeks of Bond then with “Skyfall”?  It’s hard to place “Skyfall” when it comes to comparisons between all the other Bond films because it is just so unique.  Looking at the entire film collection up to this point you could place these movies in two different sub-catagories, Action Bond & Comedy Bond.  Skyfall falls under its own sub-catagory - Thriller Bond.  This visually stunning masterpiece has a hair raising plot with eerie characters, brooding cinematography and it is topped off with a dusting of humor.  Not only is it incredible to look at, but the writing and directing make you connect with the characters of Bond more so than any other film.  Plus, it’s the film that ties all the classics in together to give us the cast of characters we had been missing prior.  M, Moneypenny, & Q are now all established and everything is right in the world of 007.

Back in 2006 when Daniel Craig first came on, Barbara Broccolli and Michael G. Wilson, the main producers of the Bond series, had decided to essentially hit the reset button, and bring us back to give us the journey of how Bond came to be Bond, James Bond: License to Kill 007. These first three Daniel Craig films are building blocks for the continuation of the world of James Bond that we all know and love.  But that meant 3 Bond movies that didn’t have cool gadgets delivered to Bond by a snarky head of Q-Branch, didn’t have a sassy, flirtaious Moneypenny at the desk of M, and worst of all, had no gun barrel sequences.  That was probably what made me more frustrated than anything, the first three movies with Daniel Craig, and not one gun barrel sequence to open up the film...it’s just not Bond without it!

But by the time you had left the theatre after seeing Skyfall in IMAX, you felt a sense that everything was back to normal.  They even threw a gun barrel sequence in at the end, which didn’t appease me, but when I went to go see “Spectre” in theatres, I was literally PRAYING that they would put the bun barrel sequence in the beginning.  Once I saw that white circle in the middle of the screen, I literally yelled out loud with excitement.

But that is the end of the film, let’s keep with the theme of the film, and go back in time to the beginning of the film.

This is the story of M, and the coldness and callous thats required to do her job, and it’s also the story of how that affects those that fight for her and their country.  Never before has M been so deeply entrenched in the plot to the point where M is the main character.  Her decision making about her operatives who are in the field is quickly highlighted in the pre-title sequence of the film where everyone is out looking for a stolen data base of all NATO agents who are undercover - putting them all in danger of being exposed.  Bond comes across another field agent Ronson who appears to have been shot.  Bond tries to save him, but M directs Bond to “just leave him”.  Then later, after Bond has caught up to the man we will know as Patrice (after a classic scene where Bond jumps to a disconnected moving train car and shoots his cuffs), Bond and Patrice are struggling on top of the train where M directs Moneypenny to take a shot at Patrice - even though M was told it wasn’t a clean shot and that she might hit Bond.  Well, she does hit Bond and Bond dies...(but not really of course).

You will start to notice a pattern with the Daniel Craig movies...he always finds a way to lose his job.  He is either resigning, getting stripped of his license, getting suspended, or dying.  I hear he retires in “No Time To Die”.  lol.

This would be the first out of two movies to be directed by Sam Mendes who wasn’t really known for making action movies.  Sam Mendes is a storyteller and a visual artist and he makes that known here.  Everything about the cinematography in this film is just absolutely stunning.  The shots in Shanghai where Bond is swimming and later catches up with Patrice in a high rise office made of glass (one of my favorite fight scenes).  The shots in the Macou casino, the breathtaking views of the hills of Scotland and firelit shots of Skyfall Manor after it had been blown to smithereens.  All these scenes are just a feast for the eyes, and gives the film a sort of suspenseful energy making this film to be classified as a thriller.

On top of that, we have Raoul Silva who is played by the incredible Javier Bardem.  There was a lot of hype surrounding this casting choice as he was pretty fresh off of “No Country for Old Men” fame.  People waiting on pins and needles to watch his performance...unfortunately we don’t get to see him until halfway through the movie.  But when we do see him, we are introduced with one continuous shot of Silva walking towards Bond and delivering a long monologue about rats and coconuts.  As a former actor myself, that is not easy to do.  Bardem gives Silva a nightmarish psychotic coat of paint, but can also make you laugh with just the slightest look accompanied with a bit of sass.

The story is that Raoul Silva had worked as an MI6 agent who was apparently M’s favorite.  But Silva had gotten caught along the way, and was tortured, but never gave M up. He tried to kill himself with cyanid, to make sure he wouldn’t break and protect MI6 - but the cyanid didn’t kill him.  This left his face scarred for life and left him broken and vengeful that M had given him up so easily.  Now Silva has concocted a master plan to get captured, only to escape because of his forward thinking ability to hack someone who is trying to hack him, and get M into a position where he can get a clean shot to kill her.  Pretty straight forward plot, but to say “This time, it’s personal!” may be putting it mildly here. 

Inserted into this plot, is a slightly confusing run in with a women named Severine, who is ultimately Bond’s gateway to get to Silva.  The reason I say it is confusing is because I don’t know what her directives are for the scene where she gets a drink with Bond. Severine is being controlled by Silva so her job is to be at the casino for Patrice when he comes and cashes in the chip that he had - but it ends up being Bond cashing in the chip. So, was the plan to have a drink with Patrice and kill him too?  Or were they trying to get Bond to let his guard down so that they could kill him easier?  And why were they going to kill him?  So they didn’t have to pay up?  Was Severine still a sex slave or was she merely Silva’s mistress?  Not much is known about her, but she is clearly afraid of Silva and adds to Silva’s build up nicely.

Toward the end of the film, after some cat and mouse between Bond and Silva, Bond kidnaps M, uses her as bait (how does it feel, M?), and lures Silva to Skyfall Manor, which is the house Bond grew up in as a kid.  Bond picks Skyfall because he knows of the gun room they had there, but Kincade, who had been the gamekeeper there since Bond was a boy, tells him that they had sold the guns to someone in Idaho.  So now Bond, M, and Kincade have to get creative and “Home Alone” this house with booby traps.  Any kid who grew up watching Home Alone would have been reminded of that movie right away after watching this.  However, we see M getting shot in her side during the scuffle with the baddies and that will lead us to Silva’s killing, and M gasping her last breath in Bond’s arms.  It sure was bittersweet to see Judi Dench leave the role.  In my opinion, she is the best M of them all merely because of all she got to do with it.  Not Bernard Lee’s fault, he just wasn’t given the depth of character that Dench got.

Between Sam Mendes’ commitment to directing the film, Adele gifting us with her incredible voice for the theme song, Javier Bardem playing the villain, and the 4 years it took to get this film into the theatres, this was one of the most anticipated Bond films ever - and it lived up to, or exceeded, everyone’s expectations.  Skyfall is a beautiful and nerve-wracking action thriller that is just on another level as far as Bond films go.  My only gripes with the film is how it slows down towards the end of an already long film, and all the mentions of Bond getting old...why mention his age when we are always going to have Bond movies?  

But so many fun moments, like Q asking Bond if he was expecting an exploding pen (Goldeneye shout out), and bringing back the famous Aston Martin car from Goldfinger - that got an audible pop from the audience when I saw it in the Theatres.  Skyfall is definitely Craig’s peak as Bond, but of course he has one more left.  Only time will tell if he ends on a high note with “No Time to Die”, or if “Skyfall” was the high note of Daniel Craig’s Bond tenure.  I’m sure there is more to say about this film, but I can’t think of them right now, so I will say goodnight!

What did you think?  Let me hear you!

Reviews from Friends:

Andrew Albertsen

I read that Judi Dench has more screen time in this movie alone than Desmond Llewelyn has in 17 films as Q. I also read that there was talk of Sean Connery playing Kincade. God that would’ve been stupid.

My Mom

This was a fantastic movie. mark recently talked me into surround sound. I now have to look at little black speakers all over my living room. As I sat enjoying this film on my couch my heart was skipping a beat thinking intruders were sneaking up behind me. Turns out to be Daniel Craig and crew ambushing me with sounds of footsteps and guns. Terrifying.

Jake Benrud

Loved this movie. This is one of my favorites. Always a good Bond flick when there's a turned 00 agent.

24 Weeks of Bond Will Return Next Monday With - 

Die Another Day

TVD 9x10 - Spinnin’ round and round... (part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – The secret facility, Edward’s cell which, unlike Matt’s, is quite luxurious. He is lying on his bed, sedated, having flashbacks from his past. 

Cut to- 3 years ago, the Powell’s NYC mansion.

TAMARA: Moy malen’kiy geroy, I’m happy you are home; I was getting worried.

EDWARD: Oh, come on mom, I was only gone for a couple of hours.

TAMARA: Come, sit with me, have some wine. (Pours him a glass) So, how did she take it?

EDWARD: Not very well, but that had more to do with her ego than her feelings.

TAMARA: You made the right decision, I never liked her.

EDWARD: I know, you made that quite clear any time she was around.

TAMARA: Well, I tried my best to behave but I just couldn’t stand seeing you with someone that didn’t deserve you; let alone a Luxford. What else did you expect, my dear?

EDWARD: (Smiles in complicity) That’s true. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I thought she might be different given that she actually studied a dignified career, instead of being just another socialite.

TAMARA: Oh, my dear, you can be so naive sometimes. The only reason she got into Harvard medical is because of who her father is, nothing more. Now, let’s forget about her and move on to you. Have you thought about your father’s proposal?

EDWARD: Mother, how can you even ask me that after everything he has put us through? Especially you…

TAMARA: I know, and I will hate him for the rest of my life for what he has done to us, but this is not about him, it’s about the order, and your god-given right to be at the top of that pyramid.

EDWARD: I don’t know if I want that… is it even worth it? I mean, for the price one has to pay… I really don’t think it is.

TAMARA: If I didn’t know what they were capable of, I would agree with you, but unfortunately, whether you like it or not, you were born into this, and there is no escaping that.

EDWARD: You managed to get away from him…

TAMARA: Oh, my dear boy, you have it all wrong. I might have been able to get him away from us, but by no means have I escaped him. Just like you, whether I like it or not, I married into this and there is no way out… except death, of course.

EDWARD: Don’t say that, god, mother, you can be so dark sometimes!

TAMARA: I’m sorry, moy malen'kiy geroy, I didn’t mean to upset you. Why don’t we change the subject and lighten the mood. How about we start planning for Anthony’s surprise birthday party, it’s coming soon, and we need to start preparing.

EDWARD: That, I can get on board with.

TAMARA: How about a Gatsby theme? He loves Fitzgerald.

EDWARD: That’s perfect!

TAMARA: The Madame arrives tomorrow; we can ask her to help; she has so many memorabilia from the ’20s, it will come in handy.

EDWARD: If anyone knows how to throw a party, it’s her.

TAMARA: Tell me about it! Wildest days of my life have been with her (they laugh). Alright, my love, it’s getting late and I need my beauty sleep. We’ll get into the planning details tomorrow.

EDWARD: I’m going to stay for a bit longer.

TAMARA: Okay, but don’t stay up too late, sleep is important. (Kisses his cheek) I love you.

EDWARD: I love you too, have a good rest.

Cut to – Akumal, Mexico. Bonnie, Damon, Stefan, and Caroline are at a beautiful cenote, getting ready to scuba dive.

BONNIE: Wow, Care, I have to say, I’m so proud of you! Just a few days ago you wouldn’t even get near the ocean, and now you are suiting up to explore the deep waters!

CAROLINE: I know! I’m a changed woman, that’s for sure! Also, Alfredo (their dive instructor) said there are no sharks in these waters…

ALFREDO: That’s right, nothing to worry about. Now, if you see a pair of red-eyes shine… let me know.

CAROLINE: What!!!!!

ALFREDO: (Laughs) Just kidding! It’s fine, only thing you might see, if you are lucky, is some fish. Now, everyone, ready?

DAMON: (All suited up) Let’s do this!!

ALFREDO: Remember what I taught you, and stay close. It can get very dark at some points inside the caves, so don’t let go of the lifeline.

STEFAN: I think I’m regretting this decision…  

BONNIE: Oh, come on, Stefan, you love the dark.

STEFAN: But not underwater…

CAROLINE: Let’s give it a try, if we don’t like it, we can abort mission (turns to Alfredo), right?

ALFREDO: Of course, you know the signal, so if you want out, let me know and I’ll bring you right back up; no worries. 

STEFAN: What the hell, let’s do it!

ALFREDO: Excellent, my friend! You won’t regret it.  Okay, on the count of three, we’ll jump in. One… two… three!

Cut to – The Salvatore school, Alaric’s study. After many unsuccessful tries, Radka, Alaric, Lexi and Tyler are still trying to figure out how to undo the body switch spell. Katherine is getting desperate; the student seems to be enjoying this new body, just a tad much…

 KATHERINE: (Catches the student touching his boobs) Hey!!! Hands off perv!!!

THE STUDENT: I’m sorry Miss Pierce! I swear it won’t happen again; I was just curious.

KATHERINE: Oh yes, I’m sure that’s what that was! I have my eye on you! (Turns to Lexi and Tyler who can’t stop laughing) And you two... I swear, I’ll get you back!

TYLER: Oh, come on, Katherine, have a little sense of humor. You have to see the irony in all of this.

KATHERINE: Not when my body smells like a testosterone-filled locker room and I have a thing hanging between my legs!!

LEXI: (Mocking) As long as it’s not stiff…

KATHERINE: Shut up, Lexi!! (Throws the couch pillow at her face, Lexi catches it with her vamp reflexes).

ALARIC: (With a grin, trying to contain the laughter) Relax, Katherine, I’m sure we’ll find a way to revert this… at some point.  

RADKA: (Scrolling through different spellbooks) Well, even if we do, we’ll need to find a different witch to do the spell, an experienced one, Ivan (the traveler student) or any other witch student won’t be able to pull it off without guidance. And, Margo (the witchcraft teacher) is on sick leave, and Bonnie on vacation, so it might take more time than we had hoped.

KATHERINE: Are you kidding me??! I can’t be trapped in this body any longer!! Look at me!! I’m hideous and hormonal!!!

LEXI: (Looking at her package, smirking) And excited, I see...

KATHERINE: Oh, damn!! 

(Looking at Alaric, Tyler, and Ivan) How do you live like this??!! It’s disgusting! (Gets up to go to the bathroom, as she walks out, they all crack up).

Cut to- Munich Medical Lab, inside an old operating theatre; first day of the program. Sam, Elena, Alex and Sage, along with the rest of the students, are waiting for the program’s sponsor to arrive for the welcoming speech. After an hour, he finally arrives; absolutely no rush or apology for his tardiness.

PIETRO: Welcome everyone. If you are here you are one of the chosen, and you better be very grateful for that. From this point on, your life is about to change. Those who survive the program will be transformed, from pathetic wannabes to legends. Good luck (He leaves).

ELENA: That’s it? That’s what we waited an hour for? Speech didn’t even last a minute! No introduction, nothing! How rude!

SAGE: You really are lost, aren’t you? Don’t you know who that is? We should be thankful he even gave us 30 seconds of his time.

SAM: Drop it, Sage. She doesn’t have to know who he is. And you give him too much credit, he’s just an asshole with a shit load of money, that’s all.  

SAGE: Are you serious, Sam?! God, going small-town really affected you… the old Sam would have been fanboying at the mere glimpse of him.

ALEX:  Oh, please, Sage, just stop. The only reason you worship him is because he’s powerful, and “supposedly” a far relative of yours; which I doubt.

SAGE: No, the only reason I worship him is because he is a true legend, far more than Grayson was. And we are related.

ELENA: Wow, your are a bitch...

SAGE: I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I am being a bitch...Sorry about that, I get very defensive when it comes to him, I’m a huge fan. I’ll stop, I swear. I really am sorry for saying that. Truce?

ELENA: Just keep my father’s name out of your mouth, and we’ll be fine.

SAGE: Done.

SAM: Okay… let’s head to our first course before this gets even more uncomfortable.

ELENA: (As they are heading out) So, what’s the big shots name?

SAM: Pietro Salvatore (Elena holds him back; Sage and Alex keep walking).

ELENA: Salvatore… 

SAM: I know, what a coincidence! Seems like you can’t escape that name…(Teasing) Good thing this one is much older, I mean, in real-time, so I have nothing to worry about.

ELENA: As for him, or any other Salvatore in the world, you don’t; but if your “friend” keeps up with her snarky commentary, you will have something to be worried about.

SAM: I’m sorry, she can be a hand full, but that’s not who she really is. She puts up this tough bitchy exterior as a defense mechanism; but once she puts her guard down, she’s a completely different person; trust me.

ELENA: I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because I love you. But if she doesn’t stop, she’ll know just how bitchy I can be too.

SAM: I’ll keep her in line, I swear.

ELENA: Good.

SAM: Just to be sure, there is no way Damon and Stefan are related to him, right? You told me they were the last ones in their bloodline.

ELENA: They are; the last remaining Salvatore, Sara, was killed by Damon.

SAM: Seriously? Wow, your ex is really fucked up.  

ELENA: Well, he was under some siren’s psychic mind control thing, so it wasn’t his fault.

SAM: I know it’s your home an all, but I’m glad we got away.

ELENA: Me too. Although, I really miss my friends.

SAM: I know (kisses her), let’s hope they come visit soon.

 Cut to – The Powell mansion. Anthony knocks on The Madame’s bedroom door.

ANTHONY: Madame, I am sorry to disturb you at this hour, but Mr. Powell did not come home last night, and he still hasn’t arrived. I am becoming concerned. Do you happen to know where he might be?

THE MADAME: Anthony, love. I think we both know where, or rather who he is with. Trouble is, Augustus has some very annoying tech thta is blocking my ability to track Edward. I’ve been trying to get a reach on him, but nothing.

ANTHONY: I knew this was a mistake, I warned you both.

THE MADAME: I know. I thought we had it under control, was not expecting Augustus’ toys getting in the way.  

ANTHONY: You were sworn to protect him, and if I must say, you are not doing a good job.

THE MADAME: Anthony, as much as I respect and appreciate you, be careful with your words. We wouldn’t want this situation escalating…

ANTHONY: Am I supposed to take that as a threat?

THE MADAME: Not at all. I would never hurt you. Just take it as advice to be more empathetic to those that love Edward, just as much as you do. And, FYI, you also failed to protect him, so if there is blood, it will be on both of our hands.

ANTHONY: Pardon me, Madame. I understand what you are saying; and you speak the truth. I’m just desperate, and very scared for him.

THE MADAME: As am I. I’ve dealt with all sorts of supernatural things for years, but I have never been faced with this kind of enemy, mostly because I can’t really comprehend it; I despise technology. But you have my word, I will not rest until I find him and bring him home safely.

ANTHONY: Thank you, Madame. And, once again, I do apologize for my behavior, I was out of line.

THE MADAME: You were being a father, I understand.

ANTHONY: And you, a mother.

THE MADAME: We will find him, I promise.

ANTHONY: I’ll leave you to your duties, Madame. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

THE MADAME: I will, Anthony. Have a goodnight.

ANTHONY: You too, Madame.

 Cut to – New Orleans, a downtown bar. Klaus and Danae are having a drink. A familiar face walks in.

 KLAUS: (His eyes light up as if they were on fire) Are my eyes deceiving me again?

ABBY: They’re not.

KLAUS: You returned…

ABBY: (Smirks) I told you I would …

TVD 9x10 (part 2) coming soon! Hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

Sam’s Eulogy

Sam’s funeral was 1 year ago today. Writing Sam’s Eulogy was emotionally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Reading it in the service was beyond me. Jude and I are ever indebted and thankful to Marc for doing this so well on the day.  It read as follows:

I stand before you today, a representative of a family that feel truly blessed to have such amazing support not just through the numbers here but throughout Sam’s journey. Family, friends, the Russell school, social clubs, the medical teams, work colleagues, the whole Chorleywood community and beyond, we are all united in our love, and desire to pay our respects to our wonderful warrior Sam.

Samuel George Hanson, was born in St George’s hospital on St George’s day, the most precious present on his Dad’s birthday. He was instantly welcomed and loved by his brother Rhys and his family. Whether from his brother’s tickles, or the delight of smearing food all over his face, it wasn’t long before he was smiling and chuckling in his unique way, filling our lives with Sammy sized fun.

As a baby and toddler Sam was seldom without a muslin blanket for comfort – Mum and Dad wouldn’t dare leave the house without one. This set a theme for the rest of his short life. The muslin was eventually superseded, by George bear, Sven, Camo. He loved his teddies and each had a name. Over the past few years there was one teddy that Sam would never be without - Rabbity. Rabbity was so precious to Sam that the internet was scoured for an identical backup to be used when Rabbity was washed. Shipped in from the US, Rabitto was always on standby. Rabbity went everywhere with Sam. Every night he cuddled him, during all his stays in hospital, every operation Rabbity was in the theatre with Sam. Up until the very end, right now, and forever – Rabbity will be with Sam to comfort him.

As Sam grew up, some other Sammy traits soon appeared. With his white blond hair, and golden skin he was a beautiful toddler, with a propensity to wear nothing on his feet. Was he destined to be a surfer dude? He had the look. If he could, he would always be barefoot. At a push he would be in crocks, as a last resort trainers. If he went out, shoes and socks were always the last things on and the first things off. When home, he was easy to find as his shoes and socks would leave a Sammy trail from the door to wherever he was going.

As all children should be, Sam was full of life, a little mischievous and very inquisitive. He loved finding crystals in rocks and bringing pretty stones or fossils home. If it sparkled, it got his attention. Was he a budding geologist or was it a palaeontologist? He was encouraged to do it all. Only a few weeks ago he was busy foraging on the beach intently studying what the tide was washing in. Crab shells, dismembered crab claws, pretty shells, he was intrigued by them all and they all went into our bucket to bring home. Maybe he was destined to be an ecologist?

In hospital Sam would relax by watching his favourite movies. Whether they were Disney animations, classics like Oliver or epic compilations like the Lord of the rings, Star wars, DC and Marvel, he enjoyed them all. He also loved dressing up. Inspired by the heroes and villains in all the movies, when he dressed up, his imagination would whisk him away and he became that character. Woody or Buzz, the Gruffalo, a Dinosaur, a Rabbit, Captain Phasma or America, Kylo Ren or Thor. He would boisterously tear around the house in character, wielding his weapon of choice. Rhys was usually the victim and would laugh out loud as Sam battered him with a foam sword or hammer (most of the time!)

There was one costume, more than any other that Sam just loved – his reindeer onesie. He would wear it around the house, camping trips, on visits to the hospital, he even wore it to school. His size 3-4 years was worn until the legs looked like ¾ lengths and the body was skin tight. He didn’t care, he’d say it was snuggly, and it tickled us to see him in it. Sam loved being snuggly and snuggling up to his teddies or under blankets. But if there was some snuggling to be done, top of the list was always snuggling with his Mummy.

Even when Sam was poorly one of the activities he’d still find the strength to do was Nerf battles. If it rained, the battle would be indoors, if it was dry it would be outside with bullet guns or water pistols. When Sam was less mobile, whole house or garden battles were reworked so that Sam could take up a static sniper position, and take pot shots at his victims, family or friends. Rhys has a fond memory of when he and a friend were speaking and playing with some girls in a neighbouring garden. The talk soon became squeals and laughter as Samster the Gangster popped around the edge of the shed, naked, brandishing a water pistol and soaked them all.

When Sam was young he had always been a healthy child. When the family had colds he seemed to be unscathed, but in the autumn of 2015 Sam became pale, he was low on energy, and he had a rash. At first the GP thought it may be viral, but after a couple of weeks nothing had improved and his tummy was starting to swell. By this point the family were fearing this could be something bad but the odds said they should be wrong. A blood test was done on the 1st of December 2015, a day the family will never forget. Sam was diagnosed with Leukaemia and their Sky fell in.

Sam’s journey since then has been a tough one. His beads of courage are a lasting memory to the 100’s of procedures he endured over the 3 and a half years of treatment. He amassed 1,850 beads in all and the family give thanks to the medical staff here today, representing everyone that has worked at every hour of the day to care for Sam during his battle with Leukaemia. He was inspired so much by your commitment and professionalism that he’d said he wanted to grow up to be a nurse. Would that have been his future? Sadly we will never know.

If there is one thing that blossomed in hospital, and epitomises Sam it would be his love for Lego. Over the years we had various activities to fill the time. Card games, dart guns and dart boards, Qixels and crafts. He would enjoy them all but the favourite was definitely LEGO. What started with a small Lego set to help while away the time, grew into a ritual fuelled by both Sam’s and his Dad’s enjoyment of it. If Sam was spending any length of time in hospital he’d be doing Lego. The anticipation and the walk to collect a new set from the Amazon lockers in GOSH were all part of the excitement. The real magic was watching him build; so focussed and determined, his tongue out during the tricky bits. When he completed something, the sense of achievement was always evident on his face - in the big beaming smile. From timid beginnings, he fumbled through his first few sets but soon became a master builder completing multi bag sets intended to last days in just a few hours. If there is one thing that demonstrates how much time Sam spent in hospital, and particularly the months in isolation it would be the size of his Lego collection. On display in his room he was always proud to show it to people.

The last 9 months were particularly tough. The disease and treatment taking its toll. Sam was a third heavier, had lost his hair again, and then grew dark hair back almost everywhere. His hearing was impaired and his legs were weak. He would be unrecognisable to those that had not witnessed the change. But to those that had it was still Sam and he was a fighter, he would get through this. His attitude to all the pokes, prods and procedures was inspirational “let’s just get it over with” he would say. He hated general anaesthetics, but to overcome the fear he developed his own routine of yoga breaths and a snuggle with Mummy or Daddy while he had his sleeping milk and just got it over with. His animated moral – “Never give up” that we are so blessed that he made, will live with us forever. Sam you’re a trooper - thank you for being so brave.

Despite everything he’d been through he was still the cheeky, inquisitive boy we all loved. He always had a willingness to learn and would look forward to his lessons in hospital, at home or in school. Even on days post BMT when his mouth was too sore to speak he still had his lessons, writing or using the iPad to communicate. It would be the highlight of his days only missed if he was asleep.

Sam was doing so well in his treatment, he was winning his battle with leukaemia. He was in remission, his transplant was a success and his diseased white blood cells had been replaced 100% by his brother’s donor cells. His recovery was not without issues, that would, and did make him feel lousy, but the bigger picture was always good and in a few more months he was going to get through this. One day, he was going to ring the bell in Hospital that signified the end of his treatment.

On the 21st March Sam was taken by his parents to Watford because of his rapid breathing. This was thought to be a visit like many other. On the 22nd of March suddenly and unexpectedly Sam’s condition deteriorated and after many hours he was stabilised in Watford and transferred to intensive care in GOSH. Sadly, despite battling his biggest battle and supported by an overwhelming number of people and well-wishers, Sam was never to leave. He passed away peacefully in his parents’ arms on the 4th of April 2019. Sam never got to ring the bell.

Sam didn’t quite make the 8th Birthday that he was so excited about, but during his short time with us has achieved more than many may achieve in a lifetime. In his name, 10’s of thousands of pounds have been raised for charities that have benefited him or his family; CLIC Sargent, Be child cancer aware, Children with Cancer and Spread a Smile. The Radio 5 Live broadcast for the ‘No Isolation’ robot has over a million views and touched thousands of people. The hope is that these contributions may bring unforgettable memories, or lead to new treatments that help save the lives of other children in a similar situation and maybe one day ensure nobody has to endure the loss of a child from Leukaemia. Sam, you should be proud.

Everyone gathered here today has been touched in some way by Sam’s life. It may take a long time for friends and family to adjust, but after the grief and mourning, we will be left with the memories and sparkle that Sam brought to our lives. We will reflect on a life full of amazing adventure, love and bravery. Sam’s courageous battle and attitude should and will inspire us to never give up. We will all miss you Sam but may your star forever shine bright. ⭐

02.05.20

Informal (and sorry, very long) review of ASSASSINS at Signature Theatre

ASSASSINS is famous for its provocative concept—telling the story of nine people who assassinated or attempted to assassinate US Presidents in a series of songs and vignettes—and it feels even more daring when staged only 15 minutes from the White House. But this musical isn’t a tasteless exercise in shock value for the sake of shock, nor is it a misguided attempt to portray assassins as ‘just misunderstood.’ These nine central figures are alternately pathetic, disturbing, funny, repulsive, charming, and eerie. Some are clearly delusional, others simply disillusioned. But together, they represent the dark side of the American Dream.

Americans are raised with a sense of exceptionalism, a belief that we deserve everything we want simply because we’re Americans. At some point, we realize that only a few people have the luck, money, skills, and connections to achieve their dreams. Most of us accept that it’s not really true that “anyone can become the President.” But some troubled people throughout the country’s history cling to a distorted corruption of this dream: anyone can kill a President.

That doesn’t mean we should agree with their horrifying choices. But it does let us examine what aspects of life in America make some people so desperate to be seen and remembered, by any means necessary. “Where’s my prize?” is the childish refrain these assassins sing over and over again as they wander through the grey purgatory they’ve been consigned to.

Historically, productions of ASSASSINS are set in a ghastly carnival where contestants are encouraged to ‘step right up’ and shoot a president! A wonderful community production at Dominion Stage created a masterpiece of vivid Americana in which an electric chair or hangman’s noose were reimagined as theme park rides. This production took the opposite route by setting the action in a grimy, industrialized, empty stage in which pieces of furniture like a bench, the steps to a gallows, or a sofa float on and off like ghosts. Through this strange empty world, assassins interact unbounded by time or space, cursed to constantly repeat their most famous actions and relive their frustrations. Garfield assassin Charles J. Guiteau instructs would-be Ford assassin Sara Jane Moore in the finer points of shooting. McKinley assassin Leon Czolgosz reprimands attempted Reagan assassin John Hinckley for carelessly breaking a bottle.

The only set piece that remains throughout the show is a weathered and ghostly replica of the Presidential box at Ford’s Theatre, plunked onto the stage as though fallen from the sky. Here, the brooding spectre of John Wilkes Booth sits and watches the show unfold—and yes, he recreates his famous jump from the box. He serves as a kind of ringleader to the assassins, weaving through crowds, advising that everyone try their hand at assassination as a cure for all of their ills—even chronic stomach pain. After all, he was the first to pull off the historic act. We even see him convincing Lee Harvey Oswald to change the course of history by bringing assassination into the age of television.

As Booth, there’s a whiff of the rock star about Vincent Kempski—fitting, because Booth was a celebrity and even heartthrob in his day even before shooting Abraham Lincoln. Most of the time, he seems at ease, in control, erudite—we might even be seduced by his words until he explodes in fits of rage and reminds us how twisted and monstrous his views really are. Kempski only occasionally unleashes the full power of his singing voice, and when he does, it feels like a punch in the gut.

One minor gripe with his performance, though not limited to Kempski’s portrayal alone: his Booth, like most I’ve seen, delivers his lines with a thick Southern drawl. Not only did that occasionally make it difficult to understand his words, I doubt the real John Wilkes Booth would have spoken with such a heavy accent. For one, although he supported the Confederacy, he was from Maryland. For another, his father was British. And most importantly, he was a professional stage actor before the era of microphones and would have been well-trained in diction. Still, his charisma was palpable throughout the show. The moment he set foot on stage, a chill ran down my spine: it really was like seeing a ghost.

Lawrence Redmond plays the disgruntled worker Leon Czolgozs with gravitas and stoic desperation. He is perhaps the most sympathetic—or pathetic—of the assassins, and he gives us a sense of the loss of human potential. As the crass Sam Byck, attempted assassin of Richard Nixon, Christopher Bloch is horribly funny, spouting commercial catchphrases and leaving professional advice to Leonard Bernstein on an audiotape recording.

Some of the most enjoyable scenes of the evening were those between the two attempted assassins of Gerald Ford, Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme (Rachel Zampelli) and Sara Jane Moore (Tracy Lynn Olivera). These are two deeply kooky women—a ditzy Manson groupie and a frumpy mom who’s been married five times and is endlessly losing items in her oversized bag. Together, they shoot at a bucket of fried chicken and bond over an unexpected shared acquaintance in Manson himself.

Zampelli may not be the childlike pixie we’d expect as Squeaky Fromme, but she totally inhabits the character of a lost soul, a flower child whose brains, if she ever had them, are long-since fried and warped. Her voice isn’t a high-pitched girlish squeak but has a distinctive creaky vocal fry to it that makes her sound utterly deranged. She’s so intense in her devotion to Manson that she ranks among the most unsettling characters on the stage. She also shares a strangely beautiful duet, “Unworthy of Your Love,” with sad sack John Hinckley (Evan Casey), a failed songwriter who’s obsessed with Jodie Foster.

As Sara Jane Moore, Olivera is absolutely hysterical in both senses of the word. A chatty, scatterbrained housewife, she seems to represent the mundane and trivial compared to Squeaky’s revolutionary furor— but she can also burst into tears or pull a gun on you at any second. Her utter lack of self-awareness and deadpan one-liners like “I couldn’t hit William Howard Taft if he was sitting on my lap” made her an audience favorite. Ms. Olivera has a special talent for making dialogue sound totally natural, as if everything she says is an ad-lib. I’ll jump at the chance to see any show she’s in because she makes every character completely her own.

But the performer who truly stole the show, and my other favorite local actor, is Bobby Smith, as the lifelong loser, Charles Guiteau. Guiteau is a comically tragic figure, a man who failed at everything he did and still retained the grandiose belief that his actions were divinely inspired. He was so consumed with his delusional belief that President Garfield would make him the Ambassador to France that he shot him. As Guiteau, Smith does a jaunty dance up and down the steps of the gallows before he is to be hanged, singing a refrain of “Look on the bright side!”

Guiteau is a man of extremes, euphoric and despondent at the drop of a hat. Smith, whose appeal as a performer often lies in his unassuming, everyman demeanor, gives amazing nuance to those abrupt transitions. We see real tears shining in his eyes beyond his too-wide smile, a tremble of the lip or shaking of the hands that betray his instability. He’s incredibly entertaining to watch every moment he’s onstage, yet you’re always simultaneously concerned for and creeped out by him. There’s something so obviously ‘not right’ with Guiteau. The last character to make me feel that way was Gollum.

Tying the whole story together is Sam Ludwig as the Balladeer, who serves as a cheery narrator for the show, delivering songs that span the gamut of American music styles. These are some of the most toe-tapping tunes in Sondheim’s catalog, contrasted sharply with the discordant numbers that run between them. Ludwig also inhabits a second role, which may come as a surprise (and isn’t listed in the program). He embodies the saccharine spirit of an American narrative that sees assassination attempts as isolated incidents rather than a symptom of a deeper illness. I occasionally found his piercing tenor voice a little grating to my ears, but it suited his character well—and I was sitting very close to the stage. An increasingly mangled rendition of ‘Hail To The Chief’ ties the musical numbers together.

This show runs almost two hours with no intermission. It’s so immersive that it gives you the curious sense of waking up from a vivid dream as you leave the theatre. You almost feel that the assassins linger behind you, reliving their crimes and failures in the abandoned theatre once you’ve gone home to bed.

Assassins plays through September 29. Don’t miss this show. You’ll find yourself laughing at the most unexpected lines and thinking about the most minor moments long after the curtain call.

Puppy Eyes (Bucky X Reader)

I don’t actually know if I’ve done a Bucky x Reader one-shot, although I’ve not done a lot at all, and need to start writing up some more to keep the content coming, but I’ve got horrible deadlines and I’m going Germany next week, so the account might be a little dead, I’ll try to still upload out there x 

Anywayyyyy.... 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader 

Fandom: Marvel (MCU) 

Prompts/Summary: 1. He’s the opposite of friendly. He’s unfriendly. As in don’t be friends with him. 2. ‘You know you’re adorable when you’re mad’ – ‘I can literally kill you’ 3. Slow dancing   - Just following the Reader and Buckys journey. 

Warnings: A few kisses and bad words??? PURE FLUFF xoxo 

Word Count: 3400 

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this, I really enjoyed writing it and I know theres a lot that can be tweaked on, I know this because I’m still trying to improve on my writing... But I just I hope you all enjoy it because I really did. 

Masterlist  Fandom list 

Y/N and Bucky’s relationship hadn’t always been the cutest. There was a time, a year and about 6 or 7 months ago where she would irritate him to no end. It was like, a combination of Sam and Peter, but all in one person. She made him watch TV, she teased him and constantly called him a little lost puppy but became one of his best friends. She was worse than both Sam and Peter because of the feelings he had for her, how she made him feel.

When he first got introduced to Y/N she was shy, and she was quiet. She was good at her job, she kept to herself, but she had certain people she was close to, well everyone yet she was still so quiet. She hung out a lot with Bruce because of how calm she was, they had their own TV shows they’d only watch together. They would binge TV endlessly, old series, as well as new series it was their thing. 

She had similar music tastes to Sam, and whenever she got a little tipsy, even the smallest amount, she would be up there doing karaoke with him. They were awful together, but they gave everyone a good laugh, and music allows them to express themselves.

Natasha, Wanda and Y/N, they were like sisters, whenever they had girls trips, whether it's to the spa, the shooting range, or even shopping, the girls always giggled like they had little secrets, Hill often involved with these trips and in on these secrets as she was the same to them.

She was young compared to some of the Avengers, she understood what memes were and she understood Peters humour. The two of them constantly tagged one another in memes on Instagram, they almost spoke another language when around one another, and although there was an age difference between them, she still understood, apparently her having little brothers and sisters helps.

She also had a somewhat weird relationship with Vision and Scott. With Vision, she often helped him plan date nights for him and Wanda, and when it came to Scott, they again had similar levels of humour. Apparently dad jokes are the worst, but they can still make people laugh.

Thor, he could get on with anyone, and Y/N was no exception. She taught him mundane things and he always told her his most exciting stories. She got him addicted to tiny little fairy cakes. He always asked for them whenever he returned from Asgard, and seeing Thor in the kitchen, with flour all over himself made people wonder if he actually is as powerful as he says he is.

Barton had known her for years, he essentially trained her, before she was an avenger he trusted her to babysit his kids. He helped save her family and motivated her to use her unique skillset further which resulted in her joining shield before she joined the Avengers after a few missions with them.

Tony was like a father figure to her, or maybe like an uncle figure. He, the same as Clint had known her for a long time, since just after he became Iron man. Their conversations were always deep and meaningful, she made him see sense when no one else could, well until Steve could. But still, their relationship was something special.

And with Steve, he could get on with anyone, he had a soft spot for Y/N, just like everyone else has. He saw some of himself in here, especially pre-serum Rogers. Her internal strength and integrity. And they also spoke about sport a lot, she helped him get more with it in terms of the 21stcentury.

So overall Y/N was close to everyone, someone who is quiet, innocent, and capable of getting the job done. Someone who works hard, and when Y/N met Bucky. She saw someone who didn’t want to communicate with anyone other than Steve and Sam. Once the Winter Soldier was out of him he was still quiet and reserved but done well on missions.

When they were first introduced, he almost walked around with a warning sign that screamed, ‘Don’t talk to me, I’m a  brooding scary killer machine’. It didn’t intimidate her in the slightest, although Clint had made a joke the first time she met him,

“He’s the opposite of friendly Y/N. He’s unfriendly. As in don’t be friends with him”

She just looked at Clint, “He’s just acting. Look at him, he’s like... he’s like a puppy. A puppy doesn’t scream unfriendly, a puppy screams, ‘be my friend’”

Clint just rolled his eyes with a snort, “Well, just remember he’s not like everyone else”

Y/N just nodded at that staring at him, he was sat on the couch with Steve, he looked slightly uncomfortable to be surrounded by everyone, “You’re not like everyone else either Barton. No one is like anyone”  

“We’re talking about someone who’s capable of killing anyone within seconds”

“And how long does it take you to kill someone?” She asked him,

“Touché” He muttered,

Y/N just smiled in success, “It’s ok, I’ll prove you wrong, and I’ll be able to be his friend. Just give it time” She said to Clint, he just groaned in response knowing that this is Y/N, she knows her boundaries when it comes to being friends with someone. And she’s going to push those boundaries now.

It was almost like a personal mission for Y/N. She hadn’t told anyone aside from Barton her plans, and that was to become Bucky’s friend. Whether he liked it or not. She could be anyone’s friends, and he really is a lost little puppy no matter how intimidating he is.

When they first spoke she showed no fear, she didn’t have any hostility, and instead welcomed him with a warm smile, “Y/N can make anyone happy. And she knows a lot that can help us get up to date, a little less sarcastic than the kid, a little more with it when it comes to current trends” Steve explained to Bucky.

Bucky just nodded, “Nice to meet you” He grumbled, but little did he know, that was just the start. This small, innocent, and quiet Y/N was about to literally ruin his life for the better and make him believe in love again. It was going to suck, but it was going to be amazing.

It took a while for him to even remotely warm up to her. But day in day out, she just smiled greeted him and had some small talk. It got to a point where the small things made him smile, she knew his coffee order from the local Starbucks, it was a basic black coffee, but she encouraged him to try a few different ones. Each day she watched his facial expressions changed as she handed him his coffee and he drank it.

So far all the stronger ones were more to his liking, and the weaker ones, he pulled a face at but secretly preferred. It’s because he’s a little puppy who acts tough but really isn’t. Well, maybe a little. But still.

Although he didn’t show it, on the inside it made him happy, she took time out to get to know him. She also introduced her to her favourite films. And the best films... in her opinion.

“Did fetch ever become a thing?” He grimaced one day.

“As a joke, sure. But, in the film, there are so many iconic lines.” He just nodded at that, “Can we watch something that’s not as... bitchy?”

I snorted at that but put on The Godfather, Bruce had joined them at this point, handing Y/N the popcorn, and Bucky the Twizzlers. Bucky took them and stared at Bruce in shock, but instead, the three of them sat there watching the film.

Each day the two got closer, everyone noticed this and whenever Clint noticed, he would shake his head and laugh a little. Tony had told her to be careful, and everyone else was shocked at how he was so easily coming out of his shell to become friends with you.

“I promise you, this film is one of the best things ever,” She said to him,

“You said that about Toy Story. And it was great, but it made you emotionally attached to Toys Y/N. Toys!” He said putting emphasis on how he got upset because of the final scene in Toy Story Three.

Y/N just grinned, “This is different, The Lion King will warm your heart,” She said,

Bruce had scoffed at that, he never watched the film with her, it was emotional. It made grown men, women and assassins cry. It made Bucky cry.

“I’m never trusting you again” He grumbled to her as the film ended and pride rock was happy again.

She was laying down, her head in his lap, and she looked up at him. “Oh come on Bucky. It was amazing. You’ve gotta admit that. I remember when I watched this at the theatre. Ok that’s a lie, I don’t remember but I know that I was taken to watch it”

“You know Y/N, I’ve been through a very traumatic life, couldn’t we do something that’s I don’t know... less traumatic?”

Through the majority of the film, Bucky was playing with Y/Ns hair, the gesture relaxing for the both of them. Her hair was soft, and she was soft. Bucky enjoyed spending time with her because she didn’t look at him like he was broken. She looked at him with respect, she wasn’t afraid of him. And she showed him how to have fun, what the best thing to do in this day and age are.

So instead she introduced him to karaoke, Sam was the first one there with them, and Bucky was still so quiet that she had to sing his part with him. He didn’t realise when they first met that she was like this. That she was this outgoing person, especially when its only a few of them. In big groups, she’s the quietest one there, but then in smaller groups, she can be the loudest, she can have this aura around her that is happiness, that makes Bucky smile. He looks at her and he saw someone that had fought to break down his walls, this created such a close friendship between them. Steve was happy, happy to see someone so innocent and so pure teach bucky that he’s just as innocent as she is in terms of life and death. But also teaching him how to be happy again.

Their friendship developed further, but it was Bucky that took it one step further, that took them beyond friendship and instead something that no one else shared, he asked her on a date. They went to go watch a Broadway show, The Lion King to be exact. Apparently Tony helped him with the tickets, and the night was perfect,  they went for food, went to watch the show and it made Y/N realise that Bucky was different. Different to anyone she ever knew. And Bucky knew that was different than anyone he had ever know. She had hidden qualities that no dame he’d ever met in his hundred years had.

It was that night he asked her to be his girlfriend, and from then on things became so much more different. She had broken down his walls, he hadn’t ever realised he could feel this way about someone, that he could love someone the way he does Y/N. Because he loves Y/N and couldn’t imagine his life without her.

Bucky had changed overall since the two had gotten together, after being friends for 6 months, and then a couple, he got more comfortable with everyone. He expressed his feelings, he sung on his own for karaoke and he recommended movies on nights where everyone was watching films together.

The two always cuddled, if not then her head was in his lap. They showed affection in small manners that meant a lot to one another, neither of them were outgoing in big groups, they preferred to stick together.

The first time Bucky said I love you to Y/N was something she would never forget. They’d been together for 3 months approximately, Tony had thrown an extravagant party, they’d all dressed up in their best ball gowns, their best suits and tuxedos. And it was an elegant event. Bucky looked breathtaking, his beard neatly trimmed, his hair was loose, and he looked amazing. Just as Y/N had in his eyes, she left her hair natural, put on enough makeup to make it look elegant, and wearing her favourite outfit. Bucky loved her, he just knew that he loved her. She was at the bar when two arms wrapped around her waist, she felt the coolness of the metal to know it was bucky, and the way he lightly kissed her neck,

“My beautiful doll” He murmured into her ear, “Your dress looks beautiful, but it would look better on my bedroom floor”

Y/N let out a laugh at this and turned around to face him, “Well then you’ll have to woo me tonight Barnes” She replied back before kissing his lips,  

The night was as elegant as Stark could’ve hoped it would be. Everyone enjoyed it, there was no drama and towards the end of the night everyone was slow dancing,

Y/N was in Bucks' arms, the two swaying to the music, “Hey” He muttered getting her attention, she looked up at him, and the look on his face made her go weak at the knees. His eyes held so much love and emotion, it was in that moment she knew that she was so in love with this man, that she has no idea how life would be without him.

“Hey” She murmured back,

“I love you” He whispered resting his forehead against her, this caused a smile to breakout onto her lips before she kissed him, “Good” she muttered between kisses before standing back and looking into his eyes, “Because I love you too”

From there on the two often shared those words between themselves. Soon their routines became similar, they shared a room, shared the love between one another. Y/N still spent her time with the others, but she had special time for Bucky, despite how immature he could be, he still had the face of a puppy.

“You know, you’re adorable when you’re mad” She teased whilst pinching his cheek and walking around him to grab some coffee,

He had a pout on his face and looked like a kicked puppy, “I can literally kill you” He grumbled,

She let out a laugh at that, “Ok, just a warning, you’ll miss me” She said sticking her tongue out.

He sighed and still had that pout on his face, someone had eaten his favourite cereal, he didn't know how to take it. Although everyone knew it was Sam, Sam still denied it especially because he just wanted to eat.

“How about this” She started, “Let's go out for breakfast”

He immediately agreed and decided after breakfast they were going to get some more cereal from the store and they were going to hide it from Sam.

She agreed with him and went to get ready taking her mug with her, she’ll have plenty of space to drink some more.

From that morning on, at least once a month they went for breakfast, each time trying someplace new, and each time trying to make sure the place was aesthetical enough for Y/N to get a pic for the gram. Bucky was baffled but agreed and she made him her personal photographer. As someone who couldn’t use a phone, Bucky had become a pro at taking photos of Y/N, he was also a pro at having candid photos of himself being taken. She never told him, only if they were going on her Instagram she asked first. But between the two, they tried to cherish every moment.

It was a year into their relationship and on their anniversary when Bucky had to teach Steve how to take the perfect photo as he had been over the past year. Well, he started teaching him a while before, telling Tony to teach his man how to get with technology, and somehow Bucky had managed to get the perfect shot, the background all perfect, and Steve knowing when and where to take the right photo. 

Bucky spent time near the lakes creating the perfect scene for the two of them, a candlelit dinner where they would celebrate their one year anniversary for when both of their lives changed for the better.

Y/N had no clue about any of this, she wasn’t even sure what to buy Bucky for their anniversary, she had panicked and gone to Natasha and Wanda. They gave some suggestions, and eventually, she settled on a watch with the date they got together engraved on the back along with their initials.

But he, he had gone above and beyond. She was dressed in a cute outfit, not underdressed but not overdressed, he told her they were going for dinner, she was happy ,what she hadn’t expected was the walk from the compound to the river to have rose petals as a path, to get there and to see beautiful fairy lights and flowers around the beautifully lit gazebo. It was still bright outside so the light pinks of the sky,

“Bucky” She whispered, “Its beautiful,” She said turning to look at him, her heart in her throat, she felt overwhelmed with happiness,

He led the way to the table, and they both sat down and ate. They reminisced over the year, and the 6 months before they got together. How she used to tease him endlessly, how they became best friends and how they fell in love. They ate food prepared by a chef of Tony’s, and the listened to music off of their favourite soundtrack.

When the table had been cleared they stood and danced in the sunset, before he started his speech.

“Y/N” Bucky started while slowly swaying around with her,

Her head was rested on his chest and she hummed back a reply, “What's up bucky?” She murmured,

He felt like she could feel his rapid heartbeat, he had never felt so nervous in his life. Nothing had prepared him for this singular moment,

“I um...” He started, “You know I love you right?”

“Yes Bucky” She said looking up at him slightly confused to see the nerves on his face, “And you know I love you too”

He took a deep breath before standing back, he let go of her waist and dropped to one knee, as he did her hands covered her mouth when she realized what he was doing.

“When we first met Y/N, you annoyed me like no one else did, you kept on breaking down these barriers, and all I could think is how can someone this innocent and shy, create such havoc in someone's life. But it slowly made me fall in love with you, each day we spent together I learnt more and more about you. You became my best friend, someone who wasn’t afraid of me, and someone who gave me a new lease on life.

You’re it for me Y/N, and I can’t do this without you. I had a long ass speech planned, but doll, seeing you stood there, in your pretty dress, looking at me with those pretty Y/E/C eyes, I just know that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up every day beside you, I want to have a family with you, a life with you Y/N. So, ‘Y/N’ ‘Y/M/N’ ‘Y/S/N’, will you marry me?” He asked showing her the beautiful ring,

As he finished speaking tears were brimming at the corner of his eyes, but YN was in full bouts of tears, and nodded, “Yes, Bucky.” She sobbed out, “Yes I will marry you. Oh my gosh, of course, Bucky” She said,

Her answer caused relief to flush across his body as he stood up and engulfed her into a hug before the two of them kissed, Bucky had forgotten that he had gotten Steve to take photos of this moment, he had forgotten the nerves he felt before, he had forgotten how long it took to plan this night, and he forgot his script, but it was all worth it to have Y/N in his arms right now as his fiancé.

“I love you so much Bucky” She whispered grabbing his face in her hands,

“I love you too Y/N” He replied back both their eyes closed and their foreheads resting against one another’s.

RAY SHARKEY

"The chemistry between me and Kenny, put together with the dialogue from Eric, David--all the guys, loaned itself to what was happening. Also, any director that would come up would see this on the first day of shooting and get really excited and stretch themselves a little farther. And production stretched themselves for us...a lot. They went the extra mile for us because they saw what was happening and they weren't pulling the plug after fourteen hours. They were giving us that extra half hour to shoot that extra take of that extra scene and everybody was into it."

"We could not have had a better place in time to do it because everybody on the crew, from the craft servicemen to the people in the production office, would all come to the set to watch the scenes being played. And then the screening rooms in LA were packed because they wanted to see it. It was really special. Kenny and I were just going at it. We were having a good time, we knew something was up, and we knew it wasn't going to last a long time so we just continued to do what we were doing. In fact, one interesting thing that happened is that when we were shooting the last episode, that was one of the worst weeks in Vancouver. We all knew Sonny was leaving and me for too, it was really gut-wrenching. I had made a deal to do this movie and I couldn't get any farther away from Vancouver than Greece, you know what I mean? I had already made the deal and it was really solemn. The vibes were thick." We started to shoot the last episode and every hour it would get better and better and better. Specifically what happened is that we shot the last part first. We shot all the exteriors, the chase sequences in the cars, and then we went into the theatre and we stayed in the theatre for five days. We used different parts of the theatre for different sections of the episode, so what we did was shoot all the end stuff first because it was easier to shoot it there. The wild thing is that everyone would come into the theatre, take their seats and watch this play. We were covering it from a lot of different angles because it was so well written that no matter how we played it, it got better and better. Naturally when that happens you shoot the shit out of it which was what was happening take after take. And then this funny thing happened. They had to shoot my death and naturally I had this stunt guy go and get electrocuted and I had to do the closeup. I actually watched myself die. It was really, really strange and really bizarre. Everybody in the crew started crying and it was really heavy. It was over." "The funny thing that happened is that they wanted to shoot an extra episode, so they had to shoot an extra episode the following week and the joke was that we were shooting a ghost. I was not Sonny anymore. I was Ray. Sonny was dead for all of us. We all watched him die and it was really insane." "The other thing that happened is when we shot 'Good Lovin'. We had a director named Robert Iscove and Robbie was a dancer and choreographer, and I being a dancer and a singer, it lent itself to what we did. We didn't have anything laid out on paper, but we would go to the specific sections of the song and set and say, 'Okay, let's break it up into four bars each shot,' and I'd say, 'I'm going to face that way.' We didn't know what we were going to do, but they would roll the camera, roll the song and I would destroy and do whatever in one section of the place and move on to other sections, and really wing it and we had it all together. It was really wild. Nobody had ever done it like that before. That's insane to do that and get away with it, but we were on such a roll at that point." It had come from Eric Blakeney's show, 'The Marriage of Heaven and Hell' and what had happened is that the show went on as usual, but the last fifteen minutes of the show was the bachelor party and the day after the bachelor party we started shooting the second half. That night we spent the whole day shooting the bachelor party which you never hear of in television. Even Cannell came up, sat at the top of a ladder so he could see the whole thing. Everybody was there and I remember doing that speech in one take and we moved on. By the end of the night we were in a lot of trouble. Everybody was in overtime, but nobody cared. Steven Cannell gave this great speech from on top of the ladder, 'There's magic happening tonight and I want to thank you guys for what you've done for me and what we've done for each other.' He gave this great speech like, 'Go ahead, knock yourselves out,' and everybody was into it. We had a young Canadian crew and they really got spoiled. Rarely in my life do those things happen; rarely are you on the set and looking in the eyes of the crew and you're aware of what's happening. Needless to say, it took six months for me to finally separate from everybody. We were all calling each other all the time. I had not had the opportunity to see the episodes because I was away. I called Kenny and everybody and found out that the show was great." "I really didn't realize the power that it had until I got back to America because I was traveling around and everybody was like, 'Good morning, Mr. Steelgrave.' I remember arriving in the New York airport and people went nuts over me. I was turning around to see who they were goggling over. When the reruns came on it was even worse. Boxes of mail arrived at the office addressed to me. It was insane and crazy time. I thought, 'Wow, we really must have done it' and it's been wild ever since."

"Half the people who are fans caught it on the reruns. CBS put me on this promotional tour which was unprecedented. Nobody ever went on a promo tour for reruns, but the mail was so incredible that we went out and did this tour and people were giving us these Sonnyisms. I was in Brooklyn over the summer and I had this guy come up to me...I always have people come up to me and they're always big fans, they know this and they know that, but this guy knew every line of every show. I'm telling you, I was impressed. He did Sonny better than I did. He knew every line, and I mean obscure lines, he knew all of Vinnie and Sonny's dialogue." "One thing that happened is that Kenny and I worked so closely together that he knew all my lines and I knew all his. So we would do impressions of each other of what we did because we didn't get a chance to watch dailies. We would start doing each other's lines from different episodes, and we would play a game in which we would try to guess what episode the dialogue was coming from. What you really wanted to see was Ray Sharkey doing Vinnie Terranova and Ken Wahl doing Sonny Steelgrave. Then we transcended that and took it to another level. This is something that has to be in the book because it wasn't on film. We were having such a good time and our creative juices were flowing, and in between takes we created these two old guys named Archie and Sam. They were really Sonny and Vinnie, but they were like 90 years old and they farted all the time, had bad manners, loved tits and ass, you know, those kind of guys. They were stuck in an old actors home where they would discuss their days in Vancouver on WISEGUY. Those were the *real* interesting guys." "I got an award from the Viewers for Quality Television and it was unprecedented. I look back at it now and it's really very simple. That's part of the reason I've got Eric Blakeney on my new show, because I understand that these guys understand the guys they were writing about, which was about the human dilemma. They were the ones writing about themes that came out of the Bible that were very simple. That's the truth, you know. They would take things out of the Bible and Eric would say, 'Well, this is Caesar's arc, this is the Caesar week,' or this is Jacob's week or Job's week. And he really would use very simple dilemmas in terms of betrayal, honor, honesty, just real simple things that happened between men and men or men and women. And it all worked for us, because no matter what happened in the scope of things, Vinnie Terranova was a liar and he was not brought up to be a liar. Here he meets this man and they fall in love with each other because of their common denominator: morality. When people become friends, it's like an unwritten law that they know that morally, they're the same person. They know that they would not cross that line and there really isn't a price that they are willing to pay; that they're not for sale, and that makes for a bond of friendship. I think we played with that bond every week. We tried to figure out how far we could take it and the reason that the last two episodes are so powerful is that we took it to the limit. *Betrayal* That's what made it work." "I remember a San Francisco paper that had this great quote. They called us, I don't remember the exact word, but it was real sexy and it dealt with love  between two guys without homosexual overtones. It was the first time you got to see that. It was the first time that two guys got to look at each other with 'Nights in White Satin' in the background, no dialogue and them just looking at each other with no homosexual bullshit. That's a testament to David Burke, Eric Blakeney, Steven Cannell, Steve Kronish, because they wrote the material. Really, all I had to do was act it. I would love to be able to say I deserve all the credit, but that's not true. It was all on paper for me." "Every week I would come down to LA and would battle with these guys about structure, about what we should be talking about, but I would never write dialogue. I would say, 'We should be talking about love and not about bullets.' And they would get that. Kenny and I would fight for different things in Vancouver, but it was never really a fight. It was something that they always understood to be real." "A DEAL'S A DEAL was supposed to show Sonny kicking the dog and I have a knack of kicking the dog and making you feel sorry for me. That's what acting is all about. That's just a little trick that I do, although it's not really a trick. It's something you're trained to do. I was constantly getting that, but listen, there was nothing they could do to get me to perform it a different way. It's not that I was stubborn, but that's just the way it was happening existentially. Hindsight, everybody's a genius. While we were doing it, everybody was just doing the best they could. We shot an alternate ending and I think it was to placate Kenny and I as our swan song together. When we did the episode, Kenny and I were always getting all this fan mail and we were saying, 'The audience wants to see Vinnie and Sonny have a good time. That's what they want so now we have an opportunity to do it.' A DEAL'S A DEAL was a whole new episode, so we figured we could do Sonny and Vinnie on the road. They pick up a girl hitchhiking and they both fall for her and it's guy stuff. Let's get out of the gangster mode and do a friendship episode and they were like, 'No, no, no, no.' They really wanted this episode to make Sonny look bad and it didn't work. What happened, though, is they gave Kenny and I a little crumb, which was that they allowed us to shoot a tag...we shot two tags. One that was in the show you saw, and the other tag was Kenny and I in an empty ballroom at night with two girls we had been up all night with. We were partying and having a good time. The camera would start at the end of the ballroom and eventually end up real close on us. We would laugh, we'd do bumps and grinds with the girls and we'd slow dance with them. And there was one guy up there playing the saxophone and that was it. Kenny and I would look at each other and then at each other's girls and he would get a feel, like kids, and we would laugh at each other. He was with a black girl and I was with a white girl who was like a real show broad. It was really the essence of who these two guys are. We'd look at each other, give each other the high sign and start making out with the girls, and then he walked away with his girl and said, 'I'll see you, Sonny.' It was like real schoolboy stuff. I think it was a little too risque for the guys in LA and I really think it was to placate Kenny and I." "I warned them. I said, 'Don't you get it by now? Nobody is ever going to dislike me. We're eight hours into this show already and it hasn't happened yet. Do you really it's going to happen in one hour? Let's go in the other direction and make it sloppy.' They said, 'But Sonny is a murderer. He's about to kill Patrice.' I said, 'I'm doing it because he deserves it. They're going to love me killing him.' 'No, no, no, no.' Well, sure as shit...." "It did have twinges of THE IDOLMAKER. I think David Burke went and took ideas from it. I remember saying to him that there were a lot of similarities, so what they did was add a subplot about my brother and my feeling bad about him with the rifle. So, again, I wouldn't let them paint me into a corner. As long as you've got the emotional stuff going, you're all right. And I think that in doing all of this, they've really found a way of making old shows on television. If you do back and look at PLAYHOUSE 90, BEN CASEY, and the early detective shows, they're really about people. What we did in the 70's was put in a lot of action and I think if you look at the top ten shows in television today, you'll see that they're people shows. If you write good dialogue and you have good actors, say it, then all you have to do is be on a nice closeup and you can get through an hour or half hour. We've explored that area in the action crime drama genre, whereas it hadn't been explored since the late fifties and early sixties. WISEGUY is an attempt to bring that back to television. I know for me it is. My new series, that's what Eric and I would like to do and nothing less than that." "I've got to tell you, a lot of what you saw in my performance was really Ken Wahl being so in love with Sonny, and he and I being such good friends that he really would give me these little directions. Sonny had most of the dialogue so Kenny was a listener when he was with me. If he had the time to listen he also had the time to see my performance and I would let him direct me. He would and I trusted him. He'd say, 'That take was better, I think you should do it that way,' and he'd give me these little things. He'd say, 'This isn't real, Ray,' Sometimes he wasn't in a scene and he would do that. I knew when I left Vancouver that I had left a little piece of myself with him and vice versa, and it was good that that happened. We probably could have gone on for a few more episodes, but I don't think so." "Once they killed me, it was over. In other words, after the fourth or fifth episode, Kenny and I came down to Stephen Cannell's office and said, 'Listen, we think we've got something. I'd like to stay for a little while.' Stephen said, 'I have sсript commitments, sets are being built, and I've got to bring in this new arc.' He was very nice to Kenny and I, came up to Vancouver one more time, took us out to lunch and explained to us how he would *like* to, but he couldn't take the risk then. From that moment on, I was gone; I knew I was a goner and just moved accordingly." "I was getting so much mail that I had to let people see Sonny again, only as an actor I couldn't come back from the dead. Kenny Wahl had a story that worked out perfectly for him at both levels [White Noise?]. For me, it was just about going up to Vancouver and having a good time before everybody broke before Christmas and it was a reunion. That's really, for me, what it was all about and for Kenny I think it was the same thing. I don't want to take a shot at it in any other direction." "You know, Ken Wahl's whole line in the entire show, the one that made me fall in love with him as an actor was when he said, 'This is about the law, man!' For one moment Sonny believed it. At that moment Sonny looked at him and knew it was over, like all the great heroes throughout history he was just waiting to die. That's the whole deal! That's all David Burke, and suddenly Sonny is talking like Abbie Hoffman and getting away with it." "Another thing that allowed me to know Sonny even better was, for the first time he talked about his old man, and they talked about their fathers. I remember when we were acting it out, I was like choking. I didn't want to cry, so I was choking, holding it in, but whew, it was real heavy. 'Last time I saw my old man he went to buy a cigar.' He's standing there telling Vinnie that even though his father had a bread truck and a route, that really there was no difference between both their fathers. It was *so* poignant. When I hear 'Good Lovin' I can't help but think of that scene; I sing it in my head. I remember we worked for weeks and weeks, David and I, trying to pick out a song. I remember the last one we found was 'Five to one, one to five, no one here gets out alive.' I wanted to sing that or a Doors song, something that to do with really deep dark stuff and David wanted 'Good Lovin'. I remember we argued about that for weeks, but then the one line made so much sense to me. Sonny was singing into the mirror, 'I asked my family doctor just what I had...I said, Doctor, Mr. MD, can you tell, what's ailin' me?' I said, 'Of course, that's the song. How stupid that I didn't see it.' That was an interesting thing that happened." "Remember THE MARRIAGE OF HEAVEN AND HELL and the speech Sonny had made when he was walking around the table? Eric Blakeney had a whole other speech written. About a week before we shot the show there was something wrong with that speech, something that wasn't right. What happened was Eric came up to Vancouver with his wife and little baby. I went up to his room to visit him and I remember being so caught up in the fact that he had this little baby. I grabbed the baby, picked it up out of the crib and smelled its head and we started talking about life, and that that was what life really was. The smell of that baby's head and how it's interesting that old people's heads and babies' heads smell alike, so the closer you get to the void, maybe that's the scent that emanates from your body. We got into this discussion about life and the meaning of it. Whatever I was telling Eric the next day he wrote into a monologue, so that monologue was really a discussion he and I were having about his baby's head. That's what it was like; that's the artistic freedom you got on the set that day." "It was a great part and read like an old 30s gangster movie and I knew it was important for me as an actor, not necessarily for my career. I didn't foresee that or think it was going to be great. I just thought it was a great opportunity for me to act. Part of the reason people fell in love with Sonny is that I played him at a time in my life when I had no choices left as Ray but to be honest in my life and my work and it was new for me then. I had just gotten out of the hospital and been through an ordeal in my life, and this was fresh, new and honest. I had to find the honesty in every line and I had to play it real and truthful, so what happened is that a lot of who I was seeped into that part. My values, morally, politically, ethically, socially, and it transcended just being Sonny Steelgrave, it became this wonderful guy. It happened because I was at this point in my life where I had no more defenses; all the veils had been lifted from me and all the walls were torn down." --quoted material from THE UNOFFICIAL STORY OF THE MAKING OF A WISEGUY, copr. 1990 Pioneer Books PROFITT After the critical success of STEELGRAVE and the great press it brought, the WG staff was faced with trying to maintain the show's momentum. According to Les Sheldon, "We never try to outdo ourselves. We never wonder how we can top ourselves because we'll just get in our own way. We have gotten in a comfortable level of working as hard as we can with as much ability as each one can bring to the show and we'll continue to do that." But despite Sheldon's public voice of confidence there were some voices of concern. Stephen Kronish noted that, "The relationship between Ken and Ray was so comfortable and the show working so well that there were a lot of people saying, 'Well why are we getting rid of this thing? This is going so great.' But we felt that if we didn't do that, then what is Vinnie Terranova? He's not doing his job." Outspoken as usual, Eric Blakeney had his own opinion on what happened to WG after Sharkey left. "I thought after Sonny Steelgrave the series lost its edge and never got it back when we went into the Mel and Susan Profitt arc. I just felt that this was like writing for cartoons. These weren't people. These were psychological symptoms that had nothing to do with human beings whatsoever. We were putting on a freak show from that point on. I myself was never turned by helicopters landing on boats, James Bond cars and lunatic-psycho killers. They had nothing to do with people as far as I'm concerned. Everybody knows that the first arc was the best and there was no way to get it back, except to cast superstars, rock and rollers, Jerry Lewis, and so on. That's the only way they can get the P.R. and attention, by casting the flavor of the month. Someday you'll probably see Madonna and Michael Jackson as the arch villains." Now that Eric's mentioned it, Mel and his beyond extravagant lifestyle do bear a striking resemblance to the baroque villains from the Roger Moore BOND films. "The perfect analogy, you have to use sensationalism to sustain the series. Connery had the magic of the personality and the emotion. The series just doesn't have the emotion intact because Vinnie's not really forming those kinds of complex emotional relationships. His bad guys are clear cut to him. To me, the great thing about the series was the conflict between the good guys and the bad guys. You go undercover with a Mel and Susan Profitt, you know who the hell the bad guys are. Here's a guy who talks to his toes while his incestuous sister is putting needles under his toe nails. They're ordering everybody on the face of the planet killed and they make fifty million dollars a day with their drug empire. A DAY! There are many countries that don't make fifty million dollars a day. The whole thing was just completely fantastic and far-fetched." David Burke doesn't share his opinion. "There was a very strong reaction to the Steelgrave arc because this was new television. It was cutting edge and people were saying it was revolutionary and that whatever we did, we'd never be able to do it again. From our point of view, that's invalid. Why would we suddenly loose the ability to do what we were doing? I think what made the Steelgrave arc unique is that it was simply something we had never seen before. I think we've done much better shows since then, but television hadn't done what we had done before and that's what made the challenge, 'What's next for Vinnie? What is the natural growth of the character? It may not be as exciting, but if it's real, that's what important. Creatively we're the same people as we were in the Steelgrave arc. It wasn't something that we worried about." Director Robert Iscove observed, "No one quite knew where to go after Sharkey. He had become such an incredibly strong presence and everyone was saying in the reviews at the time that the show was so much Steelgrave, that they worried if you pulled him out of this, what do you have left of WISEGUY? Kenny proved them wrong."

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x13 “Lebanon” (300th episode)

in which i compare this episode to pumpkin soup, because I’m craving more Cas

03:30pm

all righty, thing is still downloading, and there’s a 720p version queued up so that’ll be downloaded by the time i’ve watched half. i have snacks, i’m gonna half close my blinds so i can see, but I DON’T HAVE HEADPHONES AGAIN which is the worst. why do headphones break so easily, that’s what i want to know. (just gotta pray there’s a good sound quality i guess. my laptop speakers suck)

...2 minutes left on the download c’moooooon

-

03:35

OKAY DONE!!!!

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03:36

“dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

i don’t know if it’s dean’s little baby voice (HE’S MY AGE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? I CAN’T) or the laptop speakers or the video sound quality, but dean sounds like a kid in a 1980s disney cartoon, with that vintage prickle in my ears and i love it

-

03:38

okay look it’s super hot 'cause it’s summer, and my fan is on, and there’s cicadas... i think i gotta shut the window and turn the fan off aND SLOWLY ROAST IN HERE BECAUSE I CAN’T HEAR THIS PROPERLY

i’m 9 seconds into the recap u_u

it’s gonna be one of those days i guess

-

03:41

is that the monkey again?

yeah it’s the monkey again

-

03:45

dead black guy already????????????????????

really?????

-

03:46

are those kids meant to look like the kids from stranger things? because they kind of do. and the movie theatre as well

-

03:47

cas is in this episode, right??

if he isn’t i’m gonna scream

misha had a tv guide cover so maybe

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03:39

every single one of these kids is cute and i’m offended

“weird sidekick with the trenchcoat” i am further offended, but also smiling

-

03:50

SHE GAY

SHE VERY GAY

-

the plaid though. she’s a dean mirror 100%

edit: i did doubt this for a second but nope, i was completely right

i mean, she drives the car as well

-

03:52

tHE IMPALA JUST SCOOTED OFF THE SCREEN AND I ALMOST CHOKED OH MY GOD that was hilarious

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03:54

dean doing the puppy eyes is 

a) cute

b) FUCKING TERRIFYING BECAUSE THIS POOR WOMAN’S TRYING TO PROTECT AN UNDERAGE GIRL AND IT SHOULD NOT BE THAT EASY

-

03:57

the hand that popped out of the smoky cigar box

SUPER COOL AND SUPER CREEPY EW

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03:59

dean: “this is like the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you. ‘cause you love serial killers but you hate clowns”

ahahhahaha

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04:02

sam: “are you sure you don’t wanna call mom, or wait for cas”

YES PLEASE DO BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ;A;

-

“michael out of my head”

HAVE YOU NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO ALL THE WISHES THAT GO WRONG??? YOU GOTTA BE MORE SPECIFIC DUDE. TAKING MICHAEL OUT YOUR HEAD JUST TAKES HIM OUT, YOU GOTTA KILL HIM TOO DAMMIT

-

04:05

john: “now you live in a secret bunker with an angel and lucifer’s kid”

he took that surprisingly well

 a little too well

probably part of dean’s wish that he takes it well

-

04:08

OH BOY

the face he made when he saw mary sdjgfd

-

04:09

ahahah dean and sam awkwardly leaving while their parents make out

dean kinda looked like he was gonna stay, lil bean

-

04:11

the fact dean was so adamant that he said he wanted michael out of his head, but then is now defending the fact he wished for his dad back instead

says a lot about what dean says he wants =/= what dean actually wants

-

04:13

john is much sweeter and more understanding than anyone remembers him (at least than i remember him, or could infer from all the stories about him)

i really do think dean brought him back nicer

-

04:15

i love seeing sam have emotions, it’s so refreshing

-

sam kinda looked like he panicked when john touched him aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-

04:17

there’s a sign for “castle storage” in the background and i think about that sometimes. hill of a forty dogs or something??? i forget, it was so long ago

-

ALSO WHERE’S CAS

also switching to 720p now

never mind switching back, the sound was better on the lower quality video u_u

-

04:22

oh no, nobody knows them

IS CAS NOT GONNA KNOW THEM

OH NO

-

04:23

this universe-sam: *kinda smug* “god bless kale, am i right?”

I CRINGED SO HARD

-

04:25

OH BOY IT’S HAPPENING

(well SOMETHING IS HAPPENING)

-

04:26

zachariah: “c’mon, constantine”

cas: “i don’t understand that reference”

zach: “you wouldn’t”

i kinda missed this cas though. like. i’m not even mad

ONE PROBLEM: HE’S PROBABLY NOT HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH DEAN

-

04:28

life goal of mine: have a sign like that in my house as decor

-

04:29

THE BACKWARDS TIE

-

04:35

okay first off i got so involved watching cas beat dean up (again) and dean being unable to stop him (D: D: D:) (kind of expected dean to croak “i love you” but um no....... that didn’t happen)

and then mary’s egg timer went off 

and it reminded me i’m hungry again so brb

well actually i’m not hungry..... but my body is shutting down because i need fat and magnesium to function which means i need to eat or else i can’t see, but same difference

-

04:43pm

okay i’m back

-

04:45

DEAN FINALLY HEARING HIS DADDY SAY HE’S PROUD OF HIM

-

04:46

john: “i thought you’d get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family”

dean: “i have a family”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

]]]]]] I REALLY FUCKING WANT JOHN TO MEET CAS [[[[[[[

-

04:48

THERE’S SALAD ON THE PLATES HALLELUJAH

-

04:49

sam: “did you see them, at dinner, the way they looked at each other, they seemed happy”

and then there’s the way max looked at the girl she was crushing on

AND THEN THERE’S THE WAY DEAN LOOKS AT CAS LET’S GET SOME OF THAT IN HERE PLEEEEEASE

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04:51

it stresses me out when people wash dishes but only rinse using the dirty water not fresh tap water

-

04:53

they’re about to send john back, he’s holding mary’s hand

all the rainbows behind dean’s head

betcha he’s thinkin about cas

-

04:56

john: “i love you both, so much”

dean...................

-

“i love you too”

OH MY HEART

he says it ......he never used to say it to anyone

-

04:59

YEEEEE

BUT ALSO THIS ONLY LASTED 0.5 SECONDS WHY

but also???????

TALL GUY = SAM

PLAID GIRL = DEAN

COAT GIRL = CAS

IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING THIS

WHY DIDN’T THIS SHOT LAST LONGER SO PEOPLE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE WITHOUT PAUSING

CURSE YOU EDITORS

-

05:02

so....... that end scene where john’s like “i’m on my way back, i’ll see you soon”

was that meant to be in the past, 2003 era? the flip phone would say so, but his visible age kind of confuses matters

i mean i get that it’s hard to make someone look 16 years younger

but still

unsure about that

-

05:04

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it’s over

i dunno

that was definitely a special and important episode, and i appreciated seeing this side of john, this is gonna make it way easier to write fanfic of him without the story ending up as a trauma survival fic

but

i was kind of underwhelmed

things i rEALLY REALLY WANTED that didn’t happen:

john actually reacting to dean saying they made friends with an angel (and a werewolf, a vampire, demons, etc etc)

john meeting cas

cas being part of that family meal (i get that the point was he was 2003!cas and not there, but still)

jack being in this even a little bit??

and as the story went on and reached the end, what it really lacked, for me, was a comparison where we can then see how john/mary & max/her crush = dean/cas...........and that just didn’t happen

i think it just ended too soon, really

and there was a lot more they could’ve done with the altered timeline, could’ve brought a whooooooooole lot back from past seasons and just made it a smorgasbord of nostalgia

i get that it was focused solely on john, which gave it an emotional core, so there’s not actually a problem there, i loved that

but it felt kind of dull and slow and....... soupy..........?

(i just mean. the emotional feeling in my brain as i think about it. feels like soup. specifically pumpkin soup. warm and spicy and goopy and nutritious but ultimately not very filling)

then again, if the pacing had been sped up, i would’ve complained it was too rushed. so there’s no winning, it was probably fine ?

i think my favourite part was the kids. i loved the kids. i love the lil gay romance going there. i loved the fact it was a destiel/team free will parallel (even if that part of it was OVER SO DAMN QUICKLY MOST PEOPLE MISSED IT). i loved the kid in the hat, he reminded me a lot of the actor thomas brodie-sangster, and also johnathan byers from “stranger things”

also enjoyed sam vs. the serial killer clown, and that whole aspect of hunting that we haven’t seen in a while, felt very nostalgic

also enjoyed 2003!cas, but was both distressed and frustrated by him fighting dean and then NOT GETTING ANY CLOSURE ON THAT WHATSOEVER. the point was to make dean and sam realise they really needed to send john back, so essentially, in some respect, they did choose cas being their friend over john being around, but that part of the overall problem was never mentioned at all, cas wasn’t mentioned at all after the fight

i’m just looking forward to coda fics that start where this episode leaves off, and dean talks to cas, because i am craving that SO FUCKING BADLY i can’t even express. like. it’s becoming maddening. i just. want. them. to have. a conversation

and the black guy dying at the start?? and the other black kid running away from the ghost and never being seen again? and besides the unnamed diner guy offering info on skip day, being the ONLY PEOPLE OF COLOUR IN THE ENTIRE STORY??? NOT COOL, not a fan >:{ (still better than it used to be, but soooooooooo many white people. so many. so. many)

anyway. um

so that wasn’t my favourite episode, but not because it was bad, but because it didn’t live up to expectations. i tried not to have any expectations (i really tried) but there were just... basic things this episode needed that i felt it was lacking (*cough* cas *cough*), and i can’t really shake that feeling

HOWEVER, having seen 2003!cas be the thoughtless drone that he was, i can appreciate just HOW MUCH character development has happened while he’s been around, which.... i suppose, is a sort of nod to his entire existence ???

anyway, 9/10, and a big ol shrug

but yeah. seeing john be kind and understanding was amazing (and completely changes how i’m gonna write him in my fics in the future, since he’s probably gonna be in the fic instead of just mentioned) and having him say he’s proud of dean and he loves him was just a super nice treat c:

sam being emotional is the best, too. sam confronting his feelings 10/10

i just. i want aaaaaall of this. but with cas. i really want that. so goddamn much. ;~;

My Thoughts on Endgame: A Very Spoiler-Heavy Review

Yeah we’re talking about pretty much all of it, so buckle up.

Alright y’all, here we go. I saw endgame yesterday, and I think I’ve finally compiled all of my thoughts. So a couple things before I start.

1.      There will be VERY heavy spoilers, like, so many. I have tagged this post with every tag I can figure out about spoilers, and I’m starting this post with stating it. If you have not seen the movie and don’t want spoilers, please do not read this post. I feel I have warned you sufficiently, so don’t get mad at me.

2.      This is going to be a really LONG and in depth post. I apologize, but I need to talk about this.

3.      If I refer to the people making the movie, I am talking about both the Russo’s and Markus & McFeely. I feel that all four of them were involved enough to lump them altogether.

4.      This is likely not going to be a super positive post, so know that.

5.      I may have a few controversial opinions. I’m not here to attack anyone’s opinions personally. These are just mine. I’m totally willing to have a civil discussion about stuff.

Now that we know where we all are. I’m gonna start off with what I thought were the positives.

·        Steve wielding Mjolnir. HOLY SHIT. I think that is literally my new favorite shot in the MCU. Steve standing there with the Hammer and his shield honestly took my comic loving ass’s breath away.

·        A bit of an extension of that last point, but the wide shot of Steve standing there alone, facing all of Thanos and his army? Hot damn? That was such a beautiful shot.

·        Most of the movie before the five years later was what I’m going to sum up as ‘pretty good’, i.e. I don’t have too many complaints.

·        “That is America’s Ass” (do I need to explain this one?)

·        Natasha basically holding everything together for 5 years, just trying to hold herself together when Steve walks in? Wow, break my heart why don’t you.

·        AVENGERS….assemble.

·        Falcon saying on your left

·        Strange looking at Tony before the end and slowly holding up one finger.

·        Scott’s breakdown and frantically looking for Cassie’s name on the memorial (Like, shout out to Paul Rudd’s acting there, cause damn I felt that)

·        Captain Marvel (and here’s where we get controversial kids) was in the movie very minimally

Look, I’m sure there’s some other good stuff that I’m just not remembering. But that’s the stuff that really stuck out to me.

OHHHHHHKAY, deep breath because here we go. I want to start off talking about tone. For me, it was all over the place. Phase 3 as a whole in the MCU has been really tonally off for me. I know this is not a common opinion, because everyone I saw this movie with had the humor really land for them. Still, for me I felt the humor was really off. It always feels jarring to me when they juxtapose death with a joke.

Now that we’ve gotten tone out of the way. Let me go through by characters. Because this movie really suffered as far as characterization and plot. So let’s talk characters first.

Tony:

Gotta really preface this one. I have never really liked Tony as a character. So take everything I say with that in mind. This is going to sound biased.

So- three big things for me as far as Tony.

1.      It REALLY bothers me that Tony would just fuck off for five years. (Look this one is really biased, I can acknowledge that) After being the one to always be about winning no matter what, Pepper even says something along the lines of would you be able to live with yourself? So the idea of him just leaving and not helping even remotely rubs me the wrong way. And apparently all it took was seeing a picture of Peter to change his mind? Idk not sold.

a.      This didn’t really fit anywhere else but I wanted to touch on it because it bothered me. But WHAT THE FRESH FUCK do you mean by reverse the Mobius strip. WHAT. The WHOLE point of a Mobius strip is that there is only ONE side. (Like I know this doesn’t matter literally at all but hot damn does it fire me up for no reason)

2.      Tony & Howard. Let’s discuss. I’m honestly really confused what they (see preface #3) were going for with this interaction. The way I always read the relationship was that Howard was very neglectful and emotionally manipulative. The MCU has never given me the impression that the two had a good relationship. So, what was this interaction supposed to be? Was it supposed to be closure? Idk I have a hard time figuring this scene. If you have thoughts on this one let me know.

3.      Alright, Tony doing the final snap. We gotta talk. I know this was more of an MCU thing. Like I get that Tony started the MCU so it fits that he would be the one to end this arc. But I am just personally really mad that I don’t think Nebula got the closure she deserved as a character. I guess you could argue that killing her ‘alternate timeline’ (oh don’t worry, we’ll get to that) self is ‘closure’ but she didn’t even get to try and fight Thanos. After everything he did to her, and after killing Gamora, I felt she deserved something. Basically, Tony performing the snap made no sense in context of character arc (like everything in this damn movie), and it should’ve been someone else.

a.      I’m not sure how I feel about Tony dying. Not sure it worked for his arc but I’m sort of happy that this will be a moving on for the MCU.

Steve:

I wish I could articulate through text the incredibly deep and long sigh that I just gave. Steve they did you dirty.

You know what we’re talking about, but let me say it anyway with a couple Fuck’s just to let me vent. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE ENDING. HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY RUIN HIM LIKE THAT.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that I’ve gotten that out of the way. Let’s talk about this a little more calmly. I’m so disappointed. I feel like everyone else has done this in more detail and since I’ve already be working on this for like an hour, I’m going to try and summarize this.

Steve’s entire arc was about moving on from whatever bad things have happened in the past and still being a good person.  It’s about learning how finding new people and having new experiences can help you grow from whatever has happened to you in the past. It is so incredibly frustrating to watch them throw that away. Peggy and Steve never dated, at least as far as what the MCU showed us. Peggy died, she had a good fulfilling life. She moved on. She tells Steve later that she has no regrets about her life, only that he didn’t get to live his.

Beyond that what about Bucky, Sam, Natasha, even Fury and Tony, and the rest of the Avengers. So he just threw all of those relationships away?

Side tangent. Bucky should’ve been the new Cap. Don’t get me wrong, Sam Wilson is incredible and I think he’ll be great. But damn they did Bucky just as dirty. I think it makes more sense to have Bucky be the new Cap. Bucky is also a super soldier. He has a form of serum and could actually do what Steve did. Sam is not a super soldier (as far as the MCU) and he, while still an incredible fighter, just isn’t as powerful as Steve was.

Anyway, I’m bitter, I’m mad, and I’m so incredibly disappointed that this is the message they went for as Steve’s farewell to the MCU.

Thor

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. What did they (I’m including Hemsworth this time too) do to you Thor. I feel like I must preface that I did not like Ragnorok. However I did think that the character arc they had for Thor was good.

Two major things:

1.      We gotta talk about the weight. This is another thing where I just don’t get where they were going with it. They have completely destroyed whatever character the MCU was trying to build. Why has the fucking GOD OF THUNDER been reduced to a constant punchline? Wow.

a.      Also yeah, we also gotta touch on Fornite. Fucking yikes Marvel. That is not going to age well. This is just super cringe worthy and another one of those tone issues I was talking about.  

2.      He left Asgard?????? The Fuck? After everything that’s happened he’s just going to dick around with the guardians?

a.      Don’t get me wrong Val is going to kick ass

b.      Also let me tell you, I am not looking forward to Thor being in guardians 3. I literally cannot stand the interactions between Peter Quill and Thor and I am dreading the next guardians now.

Other people have definitely gone into further depth when it comes to Thor so I feel like it’s been covered.

Bruce

I don’t like it, I don’t have a solution, but I don’t like it.

Natasha

Damn I feel like a broken record, but Nat they did you dirty. She did not deserve to die. Like I said in the positives section, she literally held the Avengers together for FIVE years when it was very clear that Tony and Bruce had fucked off and Steve was busy helping individuals. I think she was pretty damn redeemed. Like shit the whole series is her trusting people and finding a family in the Avengers.

Clint

Aight so let’s get it out there. Clint is one of my favorite characters of ALL time. Yeah I’m biased. I will never deny that. I have been bitching since 2012 that the MCU has destroyed Clint. This movie is no exception. I’m kinda just talking about the whole soul stone scene here. As soon as I saw that it was Clint and Nat going to Voromir, I knew Nat was dying. I literally gasped in the theatre and covered my mouth as I quietly chanted no no no no no. My friend sitting next to me didn’t get it but I wasn’t about to tell him. Both of them deserved so much better and yes I’m hardcore Clintasha and have been since 2012. So them fighting over who was going to sacrifice themself absolutely destroyed me.

So thanks Marvel, I hate it.

That’s the O6. I don’t have major thoughts on every secondary character, but I do on one.

Scott

Hot damn, this is really personally to me. But why is Scott always portrayed as an idiot, the butt of a joke. The man literally has a MASTERS IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING. As someone who is about to get an undergraduate degree in mechanical engineering this really pisses me off. Just because he doesn’t understand quantum mechanics he’s treated like a joke. AGHHAHGHAGHAGH

Alright folks let’s do it. Let’s talk plot.

I’m of the opinion that time travel is never good for a series. It opens to many doors and makes to many confusing problems.

I cannot stand how they’ve defined the rules of time travel in this. They actually just made it a get out of jail free card and then they broke them anyway? I’m honestly just tired and confused at this point.

What happened to Loki when he disappeared with the space stone? How did Thanos come to a future where he was already dead when the Doctor Strange movie implied you can’t travel past your death?

Why were we denied seeing everyone snap back into existence? You really denied us all those reunions. So much of the movie was slow and quiet, why couldn’t that have been too.

How the fuck did none of them die when Thanos blew up Avengers headquarters?

What are the implications of all the timelines they created (oh wait the movie decided that all established movie time travel rules are dumb because we want to write without concern)? A 2012 where Steve knows about Bucky but Hydra thinks he’s on their side? What did Hank Pym do when he found out a bunch of his particles were taken? Was Howard different as a father because of a talk he had with that same son? How the fuck are Peter and all his friends still the same age?

Marvel you simply cannot do shit like this. You can’t throw out established rules simply because your story wouldn’t work without changing them. NEWS FLASH that means your story is shitty. Get better at writing or don’t use time travel. You can’t ignore stuff like butterfly effect. Or simply disregard changing your own past. You can’t just say ‘alternate timeline’ and solve it. Are you opening up the MCU to the multiverse? Or is this just a contrivance for your plot to work.

In conclusion TL:DR there was a good movie in here somewhere. But the plot was so riddle with holes and mistakes. They threw out character in favor of fan service. All of the years of work that was put in to build these characters is now out the window. I hope you’re happy Marvel.

Agree with me? Cool. Don’t Agree? Cool. I’m glad some people actually like the movie. Is this everything I wanted to say? No, I’m probably forgetting something. But here’s a lot of how I felt.

Warrior Daughter

Chapter Four

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader  |  Word Count: 5219 Warnings: Language, mild violence

Song: Poetry by Wrabel

Everyone had gathered in the theatre room for the airing of your interview. It had only been filmed that morning, but Patty had assured you it would air that night in its own special news hour. Hell, they’d bump a Presidential Address to bring this story to air. When Steve had gasped, she’d laughed and said they wouldn’t have to, but the news would be taking a backseat for sure.

Sat on Steve’s lap, you shared the small couch with Bucky, while Sam leaned against the arm. Everyone who could comfortably crowd in had, sending last minute stragglers rushing to find a computer monitor, or television elsewhere.

The jingle for the station began to play, and Tony was quick to shush everyone when the news team started speaking.

“Tonight, we bring you the story the nation, no the entire world has been waiting for. In an exclusive interview, our intrepid reporter Patty Engles has sat down with the woman everyone has been talking about.”

“That’s right, Jan. Agent (Y/L/N), the woman in those hot Captain America photos from the Maldives, was kind enough to sit down with or Avengers correspondent Patty Engles. Not only is Miss (Y/N) an Agent with the reformed SHIELD program and a member of the Avengers team, but Patty is telling us, she is also their newest Avenger. Do we hear this right, Patty? (Y/N) is actually… a Valkyrie?”

“That’s right, Brian!” Patty’s cheery voice rang out. “But not just any Valkyrie. Take a look.”

From there, you listened to yourself talk, hoping you didn’t sound as stupid as listening to yourself talk felt. When Steve gave your body a gentle squeeze, you knew he was proud of you, and you relaxed a little.

Steve became your descriptive video when they overlaid images of you playing with the Hulk, or others of you training with Heimdall, letting you know what everyone else was seeing.

There was a beat of silence after your statement of, “I'm not just any Valkyrie. I'm Sváfa, reborn daughter of Tove, leader of the Elite Wings, and Queen of the Valkyrjur.”

Steve murmured, “You should see the news anchors faces. They look stunned!”

Bucky snickered to your left. “What do you expect? Watchin’ her trip up the Hulk’s pretty impressive. Throw in all them titles and bam! Kill shot!”

“Well… damn!” Brian muttered.

“My thoughts exactly, Brian!” Patty laughed. “She was even more impressive in person. Such a strong, confident air about her. So much so, you’d never know she was blind.”

“Blind!” Jan gasped.

“Mm,” Patty hummed. “The same classified mission which saw her returned to her Valkyrie nature also resulted in the permanent loss of her sight. Here is what her Majesty had to say about that.”

“I had a mentor after the news of this being permanent came to light. He helped me learn to see without my eyes. Through touch, taste, scent, and hearing I've learned to see the world differently. He once told me, “Seeing is overrated.” At the time, I wasn’t sure I believed him, but… he’s given me back what I lost. In some ways, being blind has given me more. My focus is sharper. My senses reach so much farther than before. Blindness may be my disability, but it hasn’t made me disabled.”

“Who was your mentor?” Patty asked. “I’m sure there are many people out there who would like to learn his secrets.”

You remembered giving a secretive smile. “I’m sure they would, but his secret is not mine to reveal.”

“Incredible,” Jan said. “What an amazing woman! No wonder she caught the eye of our fair Captain.”

“According to Captain Rogers, she’d caught it long before (Y/N) had her supernatural abilities restored,” Patty said.

Steve groaned loudly, and you knew they’d switched to your joint interview.

“What’s the first thing you remember about (Y/N), Captain?” Patty asked.

“Steve, please. And that would be her smile,” he said, looking at you. “I remember Natasha introducing us and thinking… how amazing her smile was. After that, it was a never-ending list of things she said or did which caught my attention. I was impressed from the start with her skills and tenacity.”

“Now, not to overstep or be intrusive, but weren’t you with Sharon Carter when you first started working with (Y/N)? I wouldn’t normally ask something so personal, but people will wonder, and talk, and I’m sure you’d like to dispel any nasty rumours before they start.”

Steve didn't even hesitate. “Sharon and I had been drifting apart for a long time before (Y/N) came to the team. When Agent Carter and I did end things, it was Sharon who pointed her out to me and said I should go for it. I will never be able to thank her enough for that. Still, it was a while before (Y/N), and I got together.”

“And how long have you been together?”

“Long enough,” Steve said bluntly. “She’s my sjelevenn, my soulmate.” He smiled at you again, causing a blush to fill your cheeks, and murmured, “Jeg elsker deg, min vakre skjoldpike.”

“Steve,” you smiled. “Min elskede.”

“Aw,” seemed to echo from everyone around the room, causing you to blush in reality and turn your face into Steve’s neck. He only chuckled and held you a little tighter.

“They’re too darn cute, Patty, but… you had to have asked the question? The one everyone wants to know. Did they or didn’t they?” Brian asked.

“Well, what do you think?” Patty laughed.

“And there’s our wedding photo,” Steve snickered.

“Holy shit! I think Jan’s gonna cry!” Sam snorted.

Steve’s words from outside the barn earlier that day rang with finality through the room and everyone cheered before Tony shushed them again.

The interviewed segued back into the portion you’d filmed together, and Patty began speaking again. “I won’t even ask why the secrecy, like we can’t all figure that out, but why the haste? I mean, most people didn’t even know you were seeing anyone, Steve, and certainly not someone who happens to be the Valkyrie Queen of Asgard.”

“Why should they?” you’d asked. “Captain America is certainly a public figure, but Steve Rogers doesn’t have to inform the world who he's dating.”

“Well, he is a public figure, like you said. Celebrities have to understand they give up some of their rights to privacy when they chose to become famous.”

“She did not just fucking say that!” Bucky snapped.

“S’okay, Buck. Give’r a second,” Steve snickered, and you punched him in the chest.

“At what point did Captain Steve Rogers ask to be made famous? He does a job, no different than a soldier or a police officer but no one expects them to give up their privacy. Just because he’s a superhero who saves the world on a regular basis doesn’t mean everyone and their dog should have an inside view of his private life. Yes, it’s understandable people are fans and grateful and want to take pictures and ask him to sign autographs, but no one, no matter how famous, should be subjected to scrutiny within the confines of their own home. And make no mistake, this place,” you waved your hand at the walls around you, “is our home. What happens here is no one's business but ours.”

Patty held up her hands. “I get your meaning. You’re right.”

“Thank you,” Steve said. “My wife is right. We, and I don’t just mean the two of us but the entire group of heroes known as the Avengers, don’t have a lot we get to keep private anymore. Certainly not from each other, so if we keep what we can out of the public eye, it’s for a reason. (Y/N) and I, what we have is special, and we chose to keep it private until we were ready to share.”

“And as for what some people consider a short courtship, well… when you know, you know, right?” you asked, smirking up at Steve.

“Helps when you're destined to find each other life after life,” Steve chuckled.

“Star-crossed lovers. What a tale,” Patty sighed. “So what’s next for you two newlyweds?”

“That would be classified, Ms. Engles,” Steve chuckled.

“Point taken, Captain!” she laughed.

From there, Patty and the news team oohed and ahhed over the photos and snatches of video Tony had provided from the wedding, as well as more footage of the two of you walking in the fall foliage. The rest didn’t matter much. More snippets of the interview until the hour had almost run out.

“So we took to the streets to introduce a few people to Sváfa the Valkyrie Queen and get their thoughts on the newest Avenger before breaking the news.”

You froze, and Steve stiffened. No one had mentioned they’d be doing that!

“This is a new Avenger?” the deep voice of a man you couldn’t see asked. “Well, shoot! She can save my ass any day!”

“What if I told you this was Cap’s new girl?”

“Dude! Really?” the shock and envy came across clearly. “Damn! You get it, Cap! If he didn’t marry that girl, he nuts!”

“Wow…” came a female voice. “Look how fast she is.”

“She’s Cap’s mystery girl.”

“Really?” More reverence. “She’s so pretty!”

“Sheet! Look at her go! Damn, girl! Rita! Rita, com’er and see this shit!”

“See what?”

“This! Look at this girl take on the Hulk!”

“Damn, son! Yeah! Oh! Damn, she took him down hard!”

Patty snickered before saying, “She’s the woman in those photos with Captain America.”

“No! Really?” The two women cackled together. “Oh, hun! I think Cap’s bit off a little more than he can handle with this one! Girl, you get yourself some of that big Captain di-”

The beep did little to stop anyone from figuring out just what she was about to say, and Steve went red, heat pouring from his face and neck causing you to belt out a laugh.

“If they only knew how big,” you whispered against Steve’s ear.

Bucky choked on his drink and nearly did a spit take. “Fuck I don't need to hear that!”

“Then stop eavesdropping, rusty!” you snapped, having forgotten about his superpowered ears.

Tony clicked off the news program and wrapped his arms around Pepper's waist. “Well, I'm glad to see you can make it through an interview without cussing, majesty.”

“Bite me, Stark!” you barked.

“Okay. Up we go,” Steve grumbled. “You two jackasses get her all riled up and then I'm the one who has to deal with her.”

“As you've got that big Captain di-"

“Natasha!” you shrieked.

“I'm pretty sure you know how to handle her just fine,” finished the smirking redhead.

You landed on Steve’s shoulder belly first and with a breath-stealing oof. “Rogers!”

“We’re leaving early for Asgard. You, me, and Buck got things to discuss before then. Stop shrieking in my ear, wife.”

He gave your ass a solid smack you returned to his with equal vigour.

“My eyes!” Tony cried. “Jeez, keep that shit for the bedroom.”

“Pretty sure if Barnes is invited they ain't headed for the bedroom,” Sam snorted.

You pressed your hands into Steve’s low back for extra leverage and smirked wickedly at Sam. “You never know, Wilson. After all, people think I'm more than Steve could handle.”

“No.” Bucky waggled his finger at you. “I know how Stevie gets when he's territorial. Don't you put me in that position.”

“Which one, Buck? I know lots of positions,” you purred only to yelp when Steve smacked your ass hard.

“Stop teasing him, woman!”

“But it’s fun!” you whined.

“You know damn well I’m not gonna share, so stop puttin’ ideas in people’s heads!” he ordered as he marched from the room, Tony and Sam’s laughter following you down the hall.

“Spoilsport,” you grumbled. “He never lets me have any fun, Buck.”

“I think he lets you have plenty of fun, doll face. You just like stirrin’ up shit.”

You squeezed Steve’s butt as he marched down the hall. “Consider it payback for all those years he got in trouble as little Steve. Now he’s getting a taste of what you went through.” You shot Bucky a wink and smirk, knowing he’d play along.

“That’s for sure. Least you’re strong enough to get yourself out of the trouble you start now. Unlike some people.” Bucky poked Steve in the shoulder.

“Stop encouraging her!” Steve huffed and flipped you upright to drop you on the sofa in the team’s empty lounge.

“Ah, Stevie, come on. You know you love it.”

He loomed over you, bringing his face close to your smirking one. You bit your lip and giggled when he growled.

“So fuckin’ mouthy,” he grumbled before kissing you hard.

Lightly drawing your talons along his tattoo, you purred when he shivered and grinned when he lifted his head. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

“You know I do, baby,” he smirked and cupped your jaw.

“Cough, still here, cough,” Bucky muttered.

“Get used to it, Buck. Asgardians are… handsy when it comes to their significant others. Public displays of affection are common, even in the palace. Valkyries aren’t any different. Kissing, touching, even a little groping happens to make sure everyone knows who the men walking our halls belong to.”

Steve dropped down beside you, while Bucky slumped into the chair across the coffee table. “And me, majesty? Am I gonna be fighting off hordes of handsy women?”

He said it with a smirk, but you could hear the unease in his voice. “No. You’re my guard, my only guard. No matter what happens, you stay with me or near me. The Valkyrjur should respect your place once you prove you belong there. Then, if you offer a woman your knee, you may find yourself with a willing bed partner. If you don’t want one, keep your legs together.”

Steve snorted a surprised laugh. “What? That’s… what?”

You sighed before standing up. “Everyone eats together at these long tables with shared benches in the Halls of Valhalla. Valkyries aren’t saints. We’re not celibate and never have been, but when the first men began filling the halls, they got grabby, ending with many of them finding out just how fast a Valkyrie can put a knife in your balls.” Both men winced. “It became a practice to ask if a man was looking for company rather than losing his nuts when he tried to take it.” You sat down on the edge of the coffee table facing Bucky. “If a man desires company, he will turn at the end of the meal and straddle the bench, offering his knee to the maidens serving in the hall.” You mimicked the action, turning so one knee sat out past the corner of the table. “If he catches the eye of one, she’ll come over and take a seat.” You got up and slid onto Steve’s knee, pressing your side firmly into his body as you placed your arm around his neck, then reached up with your opposite hand to tilt his face toward yours. “And if you are both willing, she will seal the pact with a kiss.”

You gently skimmed your lips over Steve’s humming in pleasure when they tingled.

“Stick my knee out and catch a broad. Damn this is gonna be a weird joint,” Bucky muttered.

You hit him with a pillow. “Respect, Barnes. Never forget it. These women are the best of the best. They are elite warriors and will have no qualms about kicking your ass if you say something offensive.”

“Yeah, sorry. What else?” Bucky asked, sincere in his apology.

“The neophytes are not to be handled unless you think they are a danger to themselves or me. They will be young girls. Ten is habitually when they arrive, sometimes as young as eight depending on where they’ve come from. They will be garbed in blue breeks and tunic; hair pulled back in braids with a single dagger at their waist. They care for the pegasi and have lessons in both school work and fighting. They must focus on their future. To touch one as a man without just cause… there would be severe punishment.”

“How severe?” Steve asked.

“A beating for sure. Ten lashes minimum. I knew whip maidens who could strip flesh down to the bone with nothing more than a flick of their wrist. It is not an experience you wish to have. It will be different for you, Steve. You’re sjelevenn, bonded to me and marked.”

He’d worn a high collared shirt to keep the mark hidden while being on camera. Not because he was ashamed of it, but because you’d asked him to. A sjelevenn mark was sacred and having them crop up all over the world was not something you wanted to promote.

“Should you come in contact with a neophyte, it would be frowned upon but overlooked. In some cases, at least in the past, it was considered lucky. The young ones believed their chance of becoming sjelevenn went up should they come into contact with a bonded. It doesn’t, but the belief is part of our heritage.”

Again you stood, feeling antsy and in need of movement. “Maidens serve the tables in Valhalla, along with the blooded Valkyrie. It is an honour and a privilege to serve those who wait for Ragnarok, though it is also a challenge. The men fight every day and drink every night. They grow bored easily. Perhaps having you two around will give them something to keep them occupied.”

“Two more old men for the mix?” Bucky chuckled.

You smirked over your shoulder at him. “What makes you think they are old? The men who come to Valhalla were usually young, struck down in their prime. It makes it easy for them to draw a Valkyrie’s eye when they are still virile and handsome.”

“And did any draw your eye, (Y/N)?” Steve asked, his voice hard.

“Would you challenge them if they had, sjelevenn?” you asked curiously, a little turned on by his jealousy.

“Yes,” he growled. “I don’t like the idea of someone else having had their hands on what’s mine.”

“Yours, hm?”

“Damn straight.”

“Jeez, Steve. Possessive much?” Buck huffed.

“He did say he didn’t like to share,” you snickered. “Lucky for him, he never has.”

“Really?” Steve sounded surprised.

You wandered back over to sit on the arm of the couch beside him. “I was wholly untouched before you, min elskede,” you purred as you caressed his cheek.

He jerked you down into his lap where you could feel him grow hard against you. Evidently, your possessive Captain quite liked that idea. “Good. Or I was gonna need to break a few skulls.”

“Now you sound like a Viking,” you snickered and patted his cheek. “Anyway. Neophytes graduate at sixteen to maidens.”

“Sixteen!” Bucky barked. “And they serve in the halls where drunk men can proposition them?”

“Barnes, some of those men are no older than eighteen. It’s a different world, but as I said, it is the Valkyrie’s choice. If she isn’t comfortable with taking a lover until later, that is her decision, but my world is not this one. At sixteen those women can be, and have been, sent off world with the expectation they may not come home. Who are we to say they are or are not ready for sex when they are willing to die for their world?”

Bucky scrubbed his hand over his face. “Remind me to keep my knees together,” he grumbled.

Steve snorted out a laugh. “Oh man! I remember your mama sayin’ the same thing about Sara May Aberdeen when she used to flirt with you over the washing line.”

“She was the local light skirt,” Bucky grumbled. “But she was still a sweet girl. Wonder whatever happened to her?”

A little melancholy filled the air you rushed to dissipate. “Mostly it’s the older Valkyrie who accepts the offered invitations, and if a man is uncomfortable with the woman on his knee, he is allowed to decline. Consent is essential. No one is forced into anything without consequences being swift and harsh.”

“What other oddities should we expect, baby?” Steve asked, jumping on the change of subject.

“Clothes. You’ll both be kitted out in Asgard before we continue on to the mountain.”

“I get my own armour?” Bucky perked up, his smile full and excited.

“Of course. How are you supposed to guard my back without it?” you asked.

“I just thought I’d take my standard gear and go from there,” he said, leaning forward. “But Steve’s was real neat, and I want to get my hands on a set.”

You laughed at his boyish excitement. “You’re the Queen’s guard, Buck. You get to have all the toys.”

“Sweet!”

“Though… you’d better let someone show you how to use them first, so you don’t blow off your foot,” you muttered.

“I thought Asgard didn’t have guns?” asked Steve.

“Not the kind you guys are used to. These are more like energy weapons. Closer to what the Chitauri used. Though we're still more inclined to go the sword and dagger route.”

“Least this isn’t going to be a problem,” Bucky said, flexing his hand.

“And I’m going to see if Loki can cast the same spell Frigga used for understanding our language. The last thing we need is people talking around you, and you not understanding. But if we can keep it quiet that you speak the language, people may be more inclined to spill their secrets around you.”

Steve tucked your hair behind your ear. “Can he help us read it too, sweetheart? That way you’ll never wonder if someone isn’t being honest with whatever letter is being read to you.”

“We’ll have to ask. If Loki can’t, Odin might be able too.”

“Anything else you think is imperative, doll face?” Bucky asked.

“Only one thing. Bucky, the instant I announce you as my guard, you will be challenged. They don't think a man can do the job and if you lose, you will be sent home. But they will also underestimate you. You and Steve hit Gunborg’s man at the same time. They will assume it was the combined power which sent him flying, not that you were both pulling your punches. You have an advantage. Use it.”

“Can I fight dirty?”

“You fight as dirty as you like. You’re my guard. There should be nothing you won’t do to keep me safe.”

“And me, babe?” Steve asked.

“You get to stand around and look pretty, Steven,” you snickered.

“Gee thanks,” he grunted.

“Steve, you stand at my side looking like your Captain self, and no one will doubt you have the same skill as your brother.” He frowned and you motioned to the arm ring Bucky was playing with. “That ring speaks for itself. Bucky is clan. He’s family. He owes you his fealty as head of that clan. He is now the person who would have the closest claim to your throne should something happen to you. His showing in battle is a direct reflection on you. He does well, you look good.”

“Slacking off again, Rogers,” Bucky tsked and shook his head.

“He’ll get his chance. The warriors of Valhalla will want to test their swords against the Queen’s consort. Thor boasts about you on Asgard. People will be curious to know if our Midgardian heroes stack up to his boasting.”

“No pressure,” Steve scoffed.

Before you could reassure him, Friday came over the speaker system. “The boss wanted me to inform you an angry Secretary Ross is marching this way.”

“Well, that was fast,” Bucky muttered, getting to his feet to stand between you and the door.

“Practice, Buck?” Steve teased.

“Gotta start sometime,” the former winter soldier agreed.

Ross stomped through the open archway into the room. Tony sauntered in a few paces behind him with Pepper on his arm.

“Now, Secretary Ross, they've only just returned. I'm sure your congratulations can wait till a future date,” Pepper said cordially, but you could hear the undertone of dislike in her words.

“Congratulations is the last thing I'm going to give them!” he barked.

“Friday,” you said softly.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“Make sure you record what's about to happen.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

You rolled your eyes at the formal address, knowing Tony was doing it on purpose.

“Can I help you?” Bucky asked, blocking Ross’s path with his wide stance.

“Move, Barnes, or you’ll regret it,” Ross snarled.

“Its okay, Buck,” Steve murmured. “Let him through.”

Ross shouldered past Bucky and stomped closer. “I don't know what game you two are playing, but it stops now!”

“Game, Secretary?” you asked. “There’s no game.”

“I was here that day you claim you got married! There was no wedding happening here!”

You blinked at him, face showing your disdain. “None that you saw at any rate.”

“Excuse me?”

“Loki was more than happy to keep you from crashing the party… sir.”

“I beg your pardon? If you two were planning on getting married, I should have been informed immediately!”

“Why?”

“Excuse me?”

Slowly, you unfolded yourself from Steve’s lap and stood to your full height. “Why should we have told you when your presence was unwanted?”

“Because I'm the Secretary-"

“And I'm Queen!” you bellowed cutting him off. “What you want, what you think you're entitled to, is no longer relevant! As you cannot command Thor, you cannot command me, so take your measly title and shove it up your ass, Secretary!”

“Now see here! I run this facilities oversight, and I can shut you down-”

“You do that and see what happens. See how fast you get slapped back to Private because your pissed and pouting, acting like a damn child because you didn't get to come to our wedding! You think the public or the President will allow that to happen because your feelings are hurt?”

“Don't you threaten me!”

“Or what? Will you try and stick a collar on me? Will you throw me in the Raft? Try it and see what happens! Are you hoping to start a war, Ross?”

“You had no right to get married without my permission!”

“Why? Because you think Steve is a possession owned by the United States government?”

“Yes!”

You punched him in the face before anyone could stop you, sending him straight to the ground.

“Oh, damn, girl!” Tony snickered.

The four guards with Ross rushed you. None of them made it past Bucky. You stomped your way over to where Ross landed, Steve hot on your heels, and dragged Ross from the ground with one hand. “Now you listen to me. You can claim the weapons, the tech, the suit, and the damn shield as property of the US government, but if I ever hear this indentured servant bullshit leave your lips again I swear by all the Gods in Asgard I will knock out your teeth! Steve is not property! He volunteered for the super soldier program, and as far as anyone is concerned, he did his time. He could walk tomorrow, and no one would fault him. He has a home and another life available to him now if he wants it, so do not think for one fucking minute he has nowhere else to go. You should be kissing his boots every day he came back after the fucking mess you made with the accords, not telling him what he can and can't do in his personal life!” you shrieked.

“Baby. (Y/N), sweetheart. Your eyes are glowing. You need to put the Secretary down now.”

You wanted so badly to chuck the man across the room but figured in your rage you might kill him, so you just let go and let him fall to the ground.

“I'll see you… court-martialed for this!” Ross wheezed.

“You can have my gun and my badge. I'm not Agent (Y/N) anymore. I'm a Valkyrie. I protect the people who can't protect themselves, and the world now knows me as such. If you want to explain why you kicked the Queen of the Valkyries and Captain America’s wife out of the Avengers, you go right ahead. Otherwise, I'll see you when the bad guys show up. Now, get the hell out of my home!”

Slow clapping filled the room, causing everyone to look up.

“I couldn't have said it better myself, your majesty,” Fury said, a crooked grin on his face. “Ross, the President would like to see you. Now. He's none too impressed he wasn't informed of Mrs. Rogers other titles and was right put out to have to find out about the Queen living in his country on the six o’clock news.”

“This isn't over,” Ross snapped.

“Oh, I assure you it most certainly is. Hill. Escort the Secretary and his men from the building. Our oversight is no longer necessary.”

“Gladly, sir,” Maria quipped and hustled the anger spewing Ross from the room.

“Well, Majesties.” Fury smirked. “It seems I was just in time for the fireworks.”

“Director? What are you doing here?” you asked when no one else spoke up.

“I'm here to oversee things for a while until you three get back. Stark's going to need to suit up and be the heavy hitter while you're gone. I'll run things on this end when he's busy.”

“Why, Nick. I didn't know you cared?” Tony smirked.

“Don't make me shoot you, Stark,” Fury muttered. “Thanks for making my return a memorable one, your majesty.”

He smirked his crooked smile your way. “If you missed me punching Ross in his arrogant face, I asked Friday to film it.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Fury chuckled as he walked away.

“Director?” Steve called before he could leave. “Are we really done with oversight?”

“The committee has been re-tasked to look into some rather shady deals which have come to light in a few senators campaigns. For now, we are on our own again.”

“No more Ross?” you asked.

“No more Ross,” he agreed. “And if the President is still as pissed off as he was when I talked to him when Ross gets there…” He shrugged. “We may never hear about Secretary Ross again. The President did ask me to extend his congratulations and wish you both well, as well as inform you if you’d like to visit, his door is always open to the Valkyrie Queen and her Captain.”

Fury walked away, and Tony let out a snort of irritation. “No one ever invites me to visit the White House!”

“You didn't marry a Queen, brother,” Steve joked. “Opens all kinds of doors. No offence, Pepper.”

She shrugged and smiled, taking none. You chuckled along with Steve and the rest of them, content to know Fury was back in charge while you were gone. No one was better at keeping an eye on things then Nicholas Joseph Fury.

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