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sykestarot · 7 months

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what's up in love and some advice pac

i do not own any of these images

1-2-3 (left to right)

hey babes, this is my first ever collective reading post, so I hope all the messages are accurate and good lol. if you enjoy this feel free to follow or reblog! I'm gonna try to post weekly :) thanks for stopping by!

Pile 1

“Those chills that I knew, they were nothing without you” (King of Swords (rx); 8 of swords (rx); The Magician (rx); Knight of cups (rx); 5 of cups (rx); Knight of Pentacles) Okay pile one I’m sensing that you recently went through a pretty bad breakup or heartbreak. You and this person could’ve been friends in highschool or met through a mutual friend from highschool? You guys were an unlikely pair, or had many differences fundamentally and on the surface. Leading this relationship to not work. Although this was a painful break up you are doing a great job being positive about it. I hear you guys know your worth and have to keep it pushing. I see you are still trying to date casually but it's working against you and hurting you more than it should. Don't feel pressured to hook up with random people because you think that's what you should do. If that's hurting you then take time and space for you instead. When you have a better understanding of your emotional self the right person will appear. Albeit it seems that the appearance of someone new will take a while. I also kept hearing pick yourself up. The advice for you is to continue to be optimistic and playful. You also have to be loyal to things you love doing and activities that remind you of the love you have to give. I see for this group friendship will be the biggest healer. (funny since you chose the sailor moon pic lol!) Go be with friends and let them heal you as well. You’re already doing a very good job on your own but sometimes the help of others can lift you up tenfold. Signs: boats, the ocean, water, bridges, the color orange, ctas, blue eyes, communication, lotus, tattoos, highschool, shared friend group, coworkers?, fish or fishing, champagne

Pile 2

“Haven’t had a dream in a long time” (Two of swords; 10 of pentacles (rx); 5 of pentacles (rx); The High Priestess; Ace of swords (rx); Justice) Pile two, your energy isn’t as free flowing as pile one’s was. You feel confused or at a loss. I feel like maybe you got fired or quit your job recently. Perhaps because of a relationship that turned sour? I feel pain behind my eyes so maybe it was a desk or office job that you work at. I feel like you were choosing to stay stagnant because of a relationship. Either you had better opportunities and they didn’t want to move with or for you. Or you held yourself back from growing for their sake. Or maybe even someone had been leeching on you for money. Maybe you stopped practicing your spiritual or religious beliefs for this person? I see you not communicating any of your needs whether it was emotional or physical. Your energy is hard to get a straight message. I keep getting distracted, almost as if you don't want to admit these things. Maybe you’re still with this person and you know these are problems but don't want to say it outloud or admit it. I see that eventually justice will be served and the karma this person will face will be a heavy dose, however you have to choose to leave or that karma will affect you both. The advice for you is take the blindfold that you willingly have on off immediately. The only person you're hurting is yourself. I see that spirit is begging to work with you. I feel like you’ve been seeing repeating numbers a lot. Google what these numbers mean and how they fit into your life. I feel how somber your guides are that you won't hear them when you always have. It’s making my eyes water. I also see that you need to take things slowly and be in the present and not live in fantasyland anymore. You are worthy of so much more pile two. I only hope that you can at least feel the love you deserve within this message. Signs - crows, owls, bird in general, music, sea turtles, hawaii, snorkeling, planes/jets, pilots, Top Gun, traveling, military, marines, mother mary, rosary, catholic churches?, prayer, music music music, guitar or bass, M names?, 111

Pile 3

“You can drive all night, looking for the answers in the pouring rain” (The Star; 6 of swords (rx); Ace of swords; The Hermit; 7 of cups (rx); 5 of cups) Pile three, I feel you are a beautiful and necessary light in this world. You have such a big purpose in this world and I feel like you don’t see it. I’m talking about the things that you were put on this earth for will change the trajectory of things. Whether it's changing people's lives or discovering a new element. But youre so scared of starting the journey because you're afraid of the unknown. The way you speak is so eloquent and well thought out but I feel like you don’t like speaking to others very much because you feel like people misunderstand you due to lack of responses but people just love hearing you speak. You sound like the smartest person in the room when you speak. Perhaps you're an educated witty type and people find your well thought out jokes so funny, like they think about them later. But you feel without options. Perhaps you're doing things differently from your friends? And you feel behind because of that or without. However there are options that you don't even know about yet. You are so much more than what you think you are. Trust. Maybe you feel discouraged in love because no one satisfies your needs or everything falls apart. Advice for you is to remember who you are. You must find who you are first to gain a relationship worth having or to find an equal. Remember that you are spiritually protected and guided and the strength that you possess is so great. Do not give up just yet continue to move forward. Whatever ideas you have you can bring them into your physical life. I also see the more gratitude you have for things it will help you better your perspective on your own life and goals. I kept on hearing you ill get there because you're you. Signs - Rhinos, lions, lion king, 5’s, microphones, theater, stages, stage lights. Angels, the color white, full moons, lizards, sagittarius moon?, the veiled lady?, fine arts, actor/actress, science, chemistry

#pick a card reading #reading tarot #Spotify #spiritual #pick a card #channeled message #channeled song #channeled art #love reading #advice #divination #pac #pap #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick an image #pick a photo #channeling #spirituality

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shatterthefragments · 8 days

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Commentary: (maybe some pics and videos to follow after showering or whatever even though I was far away)

Empire State Bastard isn’t my new favourite thing but they have a lot of cool sounds so it was fun and I’m glad I made it to my seat in time for them :)

Could not find Projekt Atlantic, but that’s ok - I figured I wouldn’t be able to, so I put a double layer of blue painters tape over a flashlight and shone that instead. (I tested this at home to make sure it was sufficiently blue) (I think a lot of other people had trouble finding the Projekt too)

Ok. So. After over 9000 steps today before the concert WHILE ACTIVELY TRYING TO CONSERVE ENERGY for the show I was happy to sit in my seat and dance seated and be a bit more stable to take videos. (I don’t like moving my arms much anyway I’d much rather let them hold a camera in trex pose) Though it was a bit strange in that this is the first show I haven’t *had* to stand up in the stands bc everyone in front also stood? (Ah maybe we’re all just exhausted and tired and lots of Canadians seem to have come from all over for this because it’s the bigger venue of the Canada date) (I mean. I started my day at the equivalent of 3am today bc of the time zones and some people I met had only just made it in in time due to delays 😭) (im a little scared that they’ll hate that we were sitting even though there’s no reason for this. But there was a good mosh going in GA) idk the vibe was a bit weird to be seated but we were stomping our feet and head banging while seated so 🤷🏻

Hi @lauratheghost 😍💖 super nice to meet you!! Safe travels!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

There was no trading of stuff where I was, but I gave keychains to the people next to me (I regret that I didn’t get the courage in time to offer to the cool people in the merch line) and some people on the metro and the group of girls I ended up walking partially back to my hotel with (which was super awesome bc I was kinda considering calling mum so that I wasn’t walking alone since this doesn’t seem like the best area like holy crap sirens have been all day and now again) (and I’m glad I did because they’ve all been so happy about them!!! And it’s slightly less for me to pack home 😬…I’m probably going to have to mail some stuff though still.

Couldn’t really see that well for most of it tbh. But what I could see through the fog and lights was so good~ ESPERA!!!!! VESSEL!!!!! II!!!!! III!!!!! IV!!!!!! Aaaah~

Got more merch than I should have tbh. But I am DELIGHTED. YOLO and all that :P

And now. To hopefully eat a bit more before showering and going to bed (or posting everything en masse who knows 🤷🏻)

#shatters’ fragments #long post #sleep token ritual: Montreal/Laval #aaaaand MORE SIRENS #I know this is a city #but will I be able #to sleep?#…I’ll shut the windows by then…

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mirisss · 2 years

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I Like The View Chapter 4

(pic edited by me)

Summary: Minho and Felix both want to get a cat to have in the dorm. Hyunjin and Seungmin want to get a dog. Jeongin, Changbin, and Jisung don’t really care, they just want a pet. Bang Chan isn’t sure about either idea as he doesn’t see them having the time to take care of a pet. However, can Bang Chan resist the idea of a pet, or well a hybrid, when the cute little bunny hybrid stands before him?

Warnings: Screaming, public shaming, threats, panic attack, slight violence

Word count ≈ 5.1k

Taglist: @ayoo-bangtan, @lose-lose07, @kingcarrot-thecarrotking, @starjane312

A not from Mirisss: Thank you for the patience with me publishing another chapter. I’ve had a lot to do and been quite tired so I haven’t had the energy to write but finally I have somewhat finished at the point that i had planned. Also, thank you so much to everyone who has shown any interest in this story.

Please don’t mind any spelling mistakes :)

Please reblog if you like it!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7,

Now, the adventures of tomorrow and every day after that await her. But all the cute bunny hybrid could think or dream of was how happy she was to have been found by such sweet and loving people. Her last thought before falling asleep was: I can’t wait to go clothes shopping with them tomorrow!

Even though hours passed before the sun rose and morning arrived, (Y/n) believed only mere seconds passed. Perhaps it was because she for the first time in years could sleep for real without worrying about anything. The safety of the eight young men living in that dorm brought her a sense of comfort she had never felt before. (Y/n) woke up to faint voices and the light sounds of pots or something like it clinking in the kitchen. She slowly sat up and scratched her long ear before looking towards the bed where the oldest member of the band had slept during the night though unsurprisingly her eyes fell on an empty bed. She concluded that Chan must be one of the people in the kitchen as he wasn’t in his bed, even if she wasn’t aware of his daily schedule. (Y/n) stretched her arms and back out a little before she stood up, excitement filling her body as she thought of today’s awaiting adventure. Shopping with her new family. Family. Such a nice word. One she has never had the pleasure of believing in until now. The bunny hybrid sneakingly ventured out of the bedroom and walked towards the faint voices that were growing louder and louder the closer she came to them. Once right outside the kitchen (Y/n) came to recognize the voices of Lee Know and Jeongin, she could only hear two different voices and two different heartbeats meaning the other members were somewhere else in the dorm or perhaps outside of it. “Oh, (Y/n). Good morning!” A voice suddenly spoke behind her, spooking her, which caused her to flinch and start breathing a little heavier as she was caught sneaking around - something she was never allowed to do in previous homes. Once she had turned around and came face to face with Changbin she began calming down as she remembered that these men would never hurt her in any way. “I’m so sorry bunny. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’ll try thinking of that in the future,” (Y/n) shook her head, He has no reason to apologize I’m just being silly… “Don’t apologize Changbin, I shouldn’t be this frightened,” Changbin internally shook his head, anger rising within him as he thought of how the poor hybrid has had to live her life. “It’s okay to become scared when someone surprises you like this, it’s normal. Especially for someone of your background, having lived in such toxic environments isn’t right. You should never have to apologize for being scared,” Lee Know and I.N had heard the commotion from inside the kitchen but stayed dormant there in order to let Changbin and (Y/n) figure this out on their own. Lee Know and I.N knew that Changbin would probably explain this matter the best for the bunny. “I’m still sorry for reacting that way,” “It’s okay, you shouldn’t have to be but I understand why you are. (Y/n), if you ever want to talk about your past or anything at all you can always come to me. I’ll always listen to you, no matter how busy I am. Okay?” His smile was comforting and genuinely kind, Changbin’s personality felt like a soft and warm blanket that will protect you from any evil thing out to get you. Changbin felt like safety. “Okay. Changbin?” “Yeah, what is it bunny?” (Y/n) gave him a small smile, one that had grown from the night before. “Will you promise to come to talk with me if you ever need to say anything?” Changbin’s heart began beating faster, and his whole body felt warmer, such a sweet and loving soul this precious bunny has, and to think that there were people who have hurt her. “Of course, I will,” The two then both looked towards the kitchen door before looking back at each other, Changbin let out a little laugh at which a voice came flying through the door. “Come in here already, it’s not like we’re gonna eat you,” Lee Know. Of course, it was Lee Know. Even though his voice was harsh and sarcastic, it didn’t frighten the bunny, Minho was the man who saved her life so how could (Y/n) be afraid of him? (Y/n) and Changbin went into the kitchen to find Minho completely clean and composed while Jeongin was covered in what appeared to be flour. Minho looked over to the rapper and the bunny who just walked in only to find them staring with wide eyes at the maknae, he let out a laugh before explaining that Jeongin was going to try and throw some flour on Lee Know but managed to trip on air and throw it on himself instead. (Y/n) found herself holding back a little laughter at the image of I.N failing his prank, however, she quickly composed herself before she let it out - old memories surfacing back with countless people telling her she shouldn’t laugh as her laugh was ugly and undesirable. The maknae and the main chef ( yes I’m calling him that) caught the bunny hybrid's action but neither said anything. The boys had a discussion last night in their group chat about not pushing (Y/n)’s too much this early on, everything is different here but she needs time and space to find that out for herself. They won’t get anywhere forcing her to believe that because then she won’t actually believe it, but if she herself discovers that she can do anything here then she will understand that it really is that way. “Changin-ah set the table.” “But hyung-” “No buts, you want to eat, right?” “Yes, hyung…” Changbin gave a fake pout at Minho before moving to pick up the plates Jeongin had already taken out of the cupboard and then proceeding to place them around the table. “Can I do anything to help?” The bunny shyly asked to which she was met with that wide welcoming foxy smile from Jeongin. “Yeah, you can help me stir these eggs while I get the other bowl from the cupboard… you see Changbin-hyung is too short to reach it so I’ll help him out” Jeongin ended his sentence with a playful smile, (Y/n) answered with a small smile of her own - a smile that keeps growing each time she dares smile in this household. “Okay!” (Y/n) cheerfully responded to the maknae before stepping closer to the pan and continuing carefully stirring the eggs so that they became scrambled.

A few minutes later all the other boys came into the kitchen after Minho sent a text saying breakfast was ready and anyone arriving later than within a minute would go without food. (Y/n) was worried when she heard this and was ready to say that whoever that was could have her food but Changbin explained that Minho didn’t actually mean it, it was rather a tactic to get the members to hurry up and come to the kitchen. Once all eight boys and the bunny hybrid were in the kitchen they began eating. Once everyone was finished, Hyunjin and Seungmin were given clean-up duty with Felix and Bang Chan helping them out to finish it quicker. (Y/n), Changbin, Lee Know, Han, and I.N all went to get ready. “Hey (Y/n), did you sleep well last night?” The friendly quokka-looking human - also known as Han Jisung, asked the hybrid as he caught up with her while they walked from the kitchen towards the bedrooms. “Yeah, it was a very comfortable bed. Thank you for buying that for me. How did you sleep?” “I slept really well, except woke up in the middle of the night and was really thirsty so I had to go to the kitchen and get some water but then I fell asleep the second I laid down in my bed again,” “Oh, maybe you should have brought a glass of water with you into your room last night - you should definitely do that today,” “You know the funniest thing?” “No?” “I had a glass of water in my room but I forgot about it” The bunny hybrid couldn’t hold back the giggle that escaped her. Han’s own smile just grew wider seeing the bunny enjoying his mishap and feeling comfortable enough to let out a giggle. Further down the corridor, the other members who were not in the kitchen heard the giggle and they all smiled to themselves at the beautiful sounds. Each and everything she does makes them all for more in love with her. They all hope that she will feel the same for them, eventually. Someday, she will be strong enough to do so.

After 30 minutes everyone was ready to go out shopping. “Whatever you do (Y/n)... Do not take styling advice from Chan-hyung or Changbin-hyung… they only dress in black and while that can be stylish I think you should have more variation in your style so I recommend you take advice from myself, Jeonginnie and Seungminnie - And Felix for some things… Oh and if Han even dares to bring up anything about hats - just run, run in the other direction or you will end up with a hat bigger than you,” Hyunjin spoke sounding very serious but he kept a playful look on his face. “What about Minho-oppa?” “Hmmm, I guess his style is accepted,” And so they got in their cars and began driving towards the shopping center (let’s pretend that at least two of them have their driving licenses). The ride there was fairly calm. (Y/n) was bussing inside, she was so excited to finally experience the good in the world with her new family. Family. She would never grow tired of saying that word. “Excited?” Seungmin turned towards (Y/n) as he asked her his question. “Mm, very excited. A little nervous too. I haven’t been in large crowds before,” “Don’t worry, we’ll all be there and we won’t let anyone sweep you away. If you’re scared you can hold onto my hand while we walk, or anyone’s hand and we won’t let go unless you want us to,” The reassurance made her calm down and she was once again simply excited about going to the shopping center. The two designated drivers parked the cars and then the somewhat new-found family arrived at the shopping center. Once (Y/n) had gotten out of the car and the nine of them were about to walk into the shopping center she quickly walked up to Seungmin and carefully intertwined her small hand with his as she looked down at the ground, not daring to meet his eyes. He gave her a reassuring squeeze before he continued to walk. The other boys shared a proud look as their new family member warmed up to them step by step.

They walked around for about 10 minutes before (Y/n) seemed to find a store that caught her eye. A clothing store (of any brand) that had a stuffed toy bunny in the window with some cute stylish clothing. Hyunjin gave an approving nod after examining the store a little quickly. “Do you want to go in there?” “Can we?” “Of course bunny. Let’s go!” Seungmin began walking, still holding (Y/n)’s hand in his and by that hand, he pulled her with him as she was a bit uncertain about whether she really could walk in there or not. “Come on (Y/n)! Let’s find some awesome clothes for you” Jeongin said as he once again gave her that smile that reminded her of a dessert fox hybrid she used to know. “Okay,” For the first time since they left the car she dared to let go of Seungmin’s hand, for now, the crowd wasn’t too big so she felt safe enough to just be close to the boys but not holding on to them. At least inside the store, once out there walking between stores again she would hold on to someone. “(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Come check out this dress!” Hyujin half-shouted for the hybrid who quickly walked over to him. Hyunjin held a knee-length dress in his hands that were casual but could be dressed up with the right accessories, it was a marine-blue color, with ¾ sleeves and a round neckline that went just below the collar bones so it wasn’t too revealing, with a bit of a flowing skirt that looked light enough to wear in summer but still warm enough for winter with the right jacket. “Do you like it?” “It’s beautiful” “They have it in more colors, I just picked this one because it’s quite a nice color. Do you have a favorite color?” “I don’t know, I like all colors I think,” “Okay, let’s try some different sizes in different colors than to find the best one!” Hyunjin chooses some different sizes among that dress picking out the marine-blue, a lighter blue shade, a baby pink one, and a grey one. “(Y/n), come look here!” This time it was Felix who was calling her name, (Y/n) looked over at Hyunjin who was still looking at the different colors on that one dress. “Can I go over to Felix or should I stay with you?” “Huh? Oh, go on. You can go to him and I’ll continue looking around. You can try these later on,” “Okay, thank you, Hyujin” Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat as she spoke his name for the first time without whispering it. (Y/n) walked over to Felix who was looking at some t-shirts that were both neutral and some with prints of animals, flowers, texts, and much more. Felix was holding a t-shirt in his hands that was a soft brown color (if anyone wants to imagine the clothes in any other colors - go ahead) and had a bright orange-colored carrot on it, it was cute and honestly very fitting for the hybrid. “I thought of you when I saw it so I kind of had to have you look at it” “It’s cute, is it soft?” “Very! Here, feel it,” Felix extended his arm towards (Y/n) so she could feel the material of the shirt. It was very soft, she liked it. Felix observed the bunny’s reaction to the fabric, he noticed that she kept squeezing the shirt and he concluded that she did like it from the way she didn’t want to let go of it. “Do you like it?” “Yes. It’s so soft,” “Okay, do you want the shirt to have a tighter fit or to be looser?” “I don’t know, I’m sorry,” (Y/n) looked down at the floor in shame as she couldn’t answer his question. “Hey, no worries. We’ll just take some different sizes and you can try them all on and say which ones you like and don’t like,” “Are you sure? I feel like I’m bothering you guys by taking unnecessarily long to decide what I want…” (Y/n) looked down at the floor in shame. “You’re not bothering us, we wouldn’t do this unless we really wanted to” And so they continued picking out clothes until all eight boys couldn’t carry anymore. They went over to the dressing rooms in order for (Y/n) to try on all the clothes, it took about one and a half hours for her to try every single item but she eventually managed. After gaining approval from Hyunjin, I.N and Seungmin (Y/n) ended up with around 75% of all the clothes she tried on. Once the group left that store they saw that more people had come into the mall. The halls were now filled with people who were walking, chatting, window shopping and even some who were running. The noise level was immense for the bunny with her enhanced hearing, the boys barely thought of the volume or number of people. This time they were walking towards the restaurants with a hungry Han leading the group, (Y/n) was walking behind the boys in hope of being protected from any prying eyes and from accidentally touching anyone other than Stray Kids. Unfortunately, her plan was not working once they came closer to the food court. Closer to the food courts you could find a myriad of people standing, walking and running around. Even the sturdy group of idol singers were separated in the crowd which, of course, meant that the small hybrid too was separated from them. (Y/n) could feel her breathing increase, her heartbeat was going crazy, anxiety was taking over, panic and her flight-or-fight system was hijacking. She was frozen. Standing in the hall. She couldn’t see anything, she didn’t hear anything either. All she felt was her body frozen in panic, until. Until someone harshly bumped into her making both her and the person fall down to the floor. (Y/n) let out a whimper, not because she was injured but because she knew this would mean trouble. Across from her was a middle aged man who wore a mean and angry look on his face. He stood up and began screaming as loud as he could, he was shouting so much that (Y/n) could barely understand half of what he said. Although, she knew that most likely he’s saying how this was her fault, the stupid hybrid who caused him to fall down, who hurt him. When the commotion began the SKZ members rushed over to see if the poor hybrid being shamed by this man could be there beloved bunny. Unfortunately, it was their (Y/n).

Changbin was furious at the man but also at the people standing around them who did nothing but enjoy the show. He stepped closer to the man while Minho and Felix went to check on (Y/n). “YAH! Shut up!” “Heh,” the man arrogantly scoffed as he only saw Binnie’s short build, he did not pay attention to the bulging muscles on the rapper’s body. “What do we have here? A little boy about to play hero? Go home, this runt is going to be put down for being so wild and attacking me,” “She’s not a runt. She’s my hybrid and I would watch my mouth if I were you. I’ll give you one chance to apologize to her or I’ll sue your ass for more money then you will ever have,” Changbin was holding himself back from attacking the man, he quickly looked back to see that (Y/n) was safe within the comforting arms of Felix. He did notice that her body was shaking as if she was crying. Oh that man is going to pay, he made their sweet little (Y/n) cry. “And how are you going to do that? Huh? Ask your mommy to help you? You could maybe afford an ice cream if you’re lucky” “Seungmin-ah?” “Oh, yeah. What is it, hyung?” “Call the company. This man has damaged someone under their name, is threatening me and our hybrid. Call them and say that we need our lawyer sent out asap while I get this mans information,” “Sure thing,” Seungmin easily made his way out of the worst crowd as people began recognizing the boys to be more than just young men, they were important people. “Now, apologize,” Changbin said with a stern voice as he also gave the man his best death glare that literally could kill someone. “Why should I? The stupid thing was in my way,” “You could have walked around her or used your voice to say ‘excuse me’, but no, you choose brute force and violence,” “Whatever, I’m leaving,” “No you’re not,” As the man turned around to leave, he was met with the icy look of a pissed of Jeongin. Jeongin and the man was about the same height, I.N was a bit leaner but you could clearly make out strong muscles on the boy while the man seemed quite weak as he was trembling while looking at Jeongin’s bare flexing arm. “Move it, boy” “Hyung! Lawyer will be here in 5,” Changbin chuckled as the man’s face contorted into one with panic. “I’m not moving unless you turn around to apologize and while you are at it, you can give us all the information our lawyer’s going to need so we’ll save some time. You see, we are all quite hungry,” I.N ended his sentence with a cocky smirk. The man was speechless. Never had he been confronted by such young people no matter what he has done. He kept trying to walk away but whenever he turned someone stood in his way. I.N, Changbin and Bang Chan being the scariest in the man’s opinion but Hyunjin, Seungmin and Han were not far behind. And as promised, 5 minutes later SKZ’s private lawyer from JYP walked in through a door and came right over to the crowd. “Move, lawyer on the go here” The woman said with a clear and loud tone, one that screamed BUSINESS. Once the man saw the woman come in dressed in a suit, holding a briefcase and was followed by two police officers, he realized that he had lost. He turned around until he located where the scared hybrid was hiding, still in Felix’s embrace, “I’m sorry for walking into you and for screaming at you” Then the man walked over to the lawyer to give her his information. The man hoped that if he apologized the boys would let the suing go. Alas his hope was for nothing. Changbin would not let this go, not for a million years. Fortunately, they had already intertwined the company with this which meant even if he wanted to drop it they company wouldn’t.

Bang Chan gave Binnie a pat on the back. “Good job standing up for her, for all of us” “Thanks, hyung. But we shouldn’t have had to do that, I’m just glad the company backs us up with this,” The crowd returned to what they were doing prior to the commotion and so the SKZ members easily regrouped with the terrified - still crying, (Y/n) in the middle of them. “Hey, it’s okay. That man was mean but Binnie took care of him, no one messes with our family,” Lee Know tried to comfort her but she was so shaken up from the incident that she could not calm down. The members tried many things in order for her to stop crying but nothing seemed to work, eventually (Y/n) ran out of tears and she shakily managed to whisper one word. A word that warmed the hearts of all eight SKZ members. “Home”. Home. Home, she wanted to go home. To their home. “Let’s go home. We’ll order some food on the way so it will be there just after we arrive home,” Home. Feels good for all nine of them to say and think of that. Many people would say that they have a weird family but they love it. Eight idols and their bunny hybrid. When they get home they will have some work to do with (Y/n) who managed to fall asleep in the car as she was so exhausted from her hysteric crying and light panic-attack.

2 hours later (Y/n) finally woke up again, during the car ride she rested her head upon Han’s shoulder. Even if Han was starving and would have wanted to eat in the mall he appreciated her skinship. She was somewhat alright, that’s all that matters. No one is physically hurt. The SKZ boys ate the food they had ordered for themselves and let (Y/n) sleep, they would order food for her when she woke up and could tell them what she wanted. Changbin carried her from the car into the living room where he carefully laid her down on the couch and then Hyunjin gently laid a warm blanket over her as their apartment was slightly chilly at the moment.

As previously stated, 2 hours later (Y/n) woke up from her slumber. A bit disoriented as she thought she would still be in the scary mall with that horrible man screaming at her but as she came to she realized that she was home. The feeling of still being in the mall was just a phantom feeling left by the nightmare that she had to be in as she slept. Small murmurs could be heard from some of the rooms and as she focused her hearing she could make out Felix, Seungmin, and I.N’s voices as they spoke and the clattering of three keyboards. They were probably playing some pc game together. From another room, she could hear hushed whispers and low music, most likely 3racha working on some new music for the group. That left Lee Know and Hyunjin. No matter how much she tried to focus she could not hear any of them, she wanted to speak with Hyunjin as she had not had the chance to interact with him that much yet. So the bunny set off from the living room on a hunt for the tall dancer.

First, the kitchen. He might be eating, or cooking… Does he cook? I don’t know, I’ll find out eventually. But the kitchen was empty, not a single sign anyone had been in there for a while. Secondly, his bedroom. (Y/n) walked down the hall to the room with a handpainted picture of a small dog with the writing Kkami on it, she remembered that Hyujin said he once had a dog called Kkami. Wonder if he can teach me to paint this well? The hybrid carefully knocked upon the wooden door and waited to hear Hyunjin’s smooth velvet voice from inside but to her surprise no sound came from the room. (Y/n) was daring and for a second forgot about all the rules she had ever been taught in previous homes - they don’t deserve to be called that… With her sudden confidence, she gently opened the door to peek inside, unfortunately, she found no handsome long-haired dancer inside. The room was empty. (Y/n) let out a disappointed sigh. She gave up on finding him by herself so she closed the door and dragged herself to Bang Chan’s room in which she had spent the night and knocked upon the door.

3racha all raised their heads at the sound, none of the members would knock on the door even if the producing members were working so all three knew who was on the other side of the door. (Y/n). “Come in!” Hannie said, seconds later the door opened, and (Y/n) stepped inside. “Hey bunny, how are you feeling?” “I’m okay Changbin-oppa. I was very shaken up but I think I’m fine now. Does anyone know where Hyunjin is?” At her question, the three 3racha members all smiled. “Yeah, Jinnie is at the company with Minho for a dance meeting, a special choreo thing the two are doing. They should be back in about 30 minutes or so,” “Oh, okay. Thank you. What are you guys doing?” “We are working on a song. We got some inspiration at the mall so we got right to it after eating. Right, about eating. You hungry?” Jisung explained and then he remembered that (Y/n) had not eaten any lunch and dinner time would be in a few hours. “A little but I don’t think I can eat a whole meal. After something like that I often struggle with eating,” “Okay, want me to make a smoothie for you? With berries, of course,” “Yeah, I’d like that Binnie. I’ve never tried one but they sound and look delicious.” Changbin’s heart skipped a beat at the nickname that so easily fell from (Y/n)’s lips. Chan and Han also noticed the nickname and shared a happy look as they both thought that (Y/n) was becoming very comfortable with them quickly so which they were happy about. They all wanted her to like them and feel comfortable, they wanted to give her a home she’ll never have to leave. Because in this short time, they have all grown to really like the sweet hybrid and they would hate to see her leave. So would (Y/n), she doesn’t want to leave these guys. They are like heaven, like a warm coat on a cold day, they are home.

Binnie left the room to quickly make some smoothies for the bunny, himself, and his producing mates. (Y/n), Chan and Han made some small talk about the coming days while he was gone. Because soon they would have to get back to work with performing, practicing, and all that. Chan wanted (Y/n) to be prepared for how it would work before they actually went anywhere. (Y/n) was a little confused, as she had never seen an idol’s life before she couldn’t imagine how it would be but she was willing to fight to be able to stay with her new family. At that thought, Changbin returned with a tray that had 4 glasses filled with a pink-ish sort of firm liquid within them that (Y/n) concluded looked absolutely delicious. “Here we go, a smoothie for hyung, a smoothie for the squirrel, one for the adorable bunny, and one for myself!” “Thank you!” Chan, Jisung, and (Y/n) all said in unison before taking a glass each and taking a sip. (Y/n)’s eyes become wider as she tasted what must have been a gift from god as she had never in her life tasted something so delicious, so good before. “Woah! This is amazing!” “Careful (Y/n). Don’t drink it too quickly because you’ll end up with a brain freeze and a stomach-ache,” Bang Chan said with a firm but caring tone, one she had heard before from a loving father to his children and she imagined that Chan probably acted as a father to the rest being the leader and everything. “Sorry,” “No don’t apologize, I just don’t want you to give yourself those problems,” And so (Y/n) stayed sitting close by as she listened to 3racha working on the song, slowly sipping on her smoothie, waiting for the tall and lean dancer.

~ To be continued ~

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liz-allyn · 2 years

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📸📸📸

CELEBRATE WITH ME!

Thank you so much, @utterly-in-like! I can’t wait to dive into your fics soon— I’m on my tasm!peter kick but I saw that you write Tony Stark, and Psych (your xover with white collar)??? Man it’s been a hot minute since I read any Psychfic.

Fun fact that’s one of the fandoms I used to write the most for back in the day. The fic I’m most proud of from that era was an insane Final Destination-themed crossover fic feat Shawn Spencer, Johnny Smith from The Dead Zone, Adrian Monk from Monk, and Xander Harris from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah, it was a whole thing.

BUT enough about that - you ordered a pic of Andrew Garfield and I present to you, a GIF

This one is special. See, this one is yoga instructor!Peter Parker.

tw health/body issues, post COVID illness, sexy innuendo under the cut

You really hate your sister for this, despite her good intentions.

Instead of being a sympathetic ear to your complaints about your ping-ponging energy and your slow cardio recovery post-COVID, she went and actually tried to help you. Goddamn it—all she had to do was sit there and listen to you be miserable, with the occasional wheeze and cough as you try to do something physically taxing. Like taking out the trash. Or standing up too fast.

But no. Instead, she bought you one of those gift certificates for a package of weekly yoga classes. 12 weeks seems extravagant, and you told her so with a sour, sarcastic, “Oh. You shouldn’t have.” But then you realized it was a biweekly vinyasa in the middle of Central Park at the magic hour of 5:00am.

What a bitch.

“We can go together!” she said. “We’ll make it a thing!”

The “thing” was you showing up in the middle of a dewy field at the ass crack of dawn to greet 6 other strangers—your sister nowhere to be found—as she cancelled her membership the night before and neglected to tell you.

What a bitch.

You hate running. You have no time to go to a gym. And you haven’t ridden a bike since you were 9. But here you are, rolling out the cheapest mat you can find and an old bath towel, next to an array of all walks of life and all number of age.

Great. You’re going to wheeze with your jiggly ass in the air next to a 67-year-old Herculean, bald guy who brought nothing but too-short shorts, a beat up Neoprene bottle, and his own sweat to his practice.

You rolled your eyes, and that’s when you saw him.

The Adonis. The face of an angel. The sculpted build of a Michelangelo. This was way worse. It’s one thing to embarrass yourself in front of random strangers, but another thing to embarrass yourself in front of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

He wore a tight black tank and board shorts (fuck, was he also a surfer?) as he greeted the class, biceps bulging from the mat tucked underneath his arm.

“Morning! How’s everyone doing?” he smiled brightly.

With devastatingly dark eyes and a saccharine sweetness to his expression, his gaze landed on you and you felt your face heat up. It’s mid-50s temperature in New York this morning, and you didn’t dress warm enough, but suddenly you’re on fire and have the urge to take off more clothes.

The slightest twinkle sparked in his eyes as they landed on you. He bit his lip, taking you in. (Fuck, did he really just do that? Is there something on my face? Do I have a tit showing?)

“Are you my new student?” he grinned, something seductive and—excited?—trapped in his throat.

Your mouth was dry, nodding in a fugue state.

Student? Like he’s the teacher? You’re going to need to bring an apple to him next time. Why is your crotch already sweating?

“My name’s Peter, it’s good to have you join us,” he says, his deep voice pouring over you like honey.

Why is he staring at you like that?

“Today’s a great day to start, we’re going to take each position very slow,” he added.

Is he serious right now?

“Just try to relax,” he says with a smirk. “I’ll take good care of you.”

You’re breathing heavy again, you notice.

And Peter keeps his promise, guiding the class through gentle stretches and poses. You keep your eyes glued to his form. For science.

Muscles flexing and a light sheen sweat forming on his face.

His eyes find you more than anyone else in the group. He starts traveling through the group when he’s convinced they’ve got the sequence down. He’s a great teacher.

At some point, midway through your 3rd downward dog, you notice that he’s glided to your side. You hadn’t even seen him coming, your eyes fixed on the blades of grass in front of your face, when you feel two large hands gently press around your pelvic crest.

Your heart stutters the second he touches you, and the butterflies in your stomach carry the wind from your lungs.

“Just like this,” Peter whispers, only loud enough for you to hear, as he guides your hips back into a more pointed position. “You’re doing so well.” You notice him line up your hips with his, and you swear he could lift you up by your pelvis with just the strength of his fingers.

You love downward dog. You love anything with dogs. Doggy style, all the way. Every time.

And with his help, goddamn it, the stretch is satisfying. You feel your spine start to decompress. Air fills your lungs in short measured breaths. His hands remain on you, encompassing your hips and the small of your back, pulling you into a delicious pose.

“Right there. Does that feel good?” he coos.

This mother Hubbard.

You moan. And then clear your throat. “Yeah,” you cough, trying to recover.

You can’t see his face but you can feel the body heat reverberating from him. And you can hear that cocky grin in his voice as he whispers back. “Good girl.”

Somehow, you survived. It was at the end of the class, when everyone else bolted and you were struggling to roll up your mat and ignore just how SWEATY your crotch was, when Peter kneeled down in front of you to help you. You gaped at his long fingers, curling the rubber into a neat cylinder.

“So how was it? I hope we didn’t go too hard on you.” His voice was like warm syrup. His eyes were dark chocolate pools. His lips looked like sugar-coated cherries.

He was bad for your health, without a doubt.

“No, um, it-it was g-good,” you shyly replied. “I’m just a little rusty.”

“Well, we can work on that,” he gazed at you with a lazy half smile. It was clear he found your timidness amusing. Appetizing, even. “See you next week?”

“Yes,” you blurted out, without hesitation. “Thank you. Thank you, Master.”

Your eyes went wide, locked on his. The word drifted into the atmosphere, a balloon swept away, never to return. He quirked a brow upward.

Your face turned crimson. “Teacher,” you stuttered “Teach— Guru? I… I don’t know why I said that.”

He licked his lips as he stared at yours, unabashed and unafraid.

“We can work on that, too.”

CELEBRATE WITH ME!

Thank you for supporting fandom writers with a reblog and/or comment!

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starjxsung · 21 days

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hiii bb. i hope you’re doing good <3 do my long-ass asks bother you?

but anyways! no, i feel you so bad. i usually fell asleep at like 2am and had to wake up at 6 for uni. and that’s really damaging for your health. i’m still getting used to it but magnesium and melatonin have helped me a lot with my insomnia. but im super lightweight in terms of taking pills so ill just sleep for a whole day if i take them together. so maybe you can look into that if you haven’t already. my mom’s a pharmacist so i got all the pill/supplement intel😅

i’m really sick of the insane amount of promos for this song as well. changbin posting a pic with him🙃🙃. i was like changbin honey angel baby ily but no. but i’m glad that a lot of people were commenting info about zionism and palestine under the picture <3 but so many others were supporting it🤕

im really sad that a lot of stays are boycotting silently too. education about these topics is so important!!! i’ve seen a lot of asks and comments about people who didn’t even know that ch*rlie p*th was a zionist or even what zionism is and when educated, stopped supporting the collab. there’s so many people who are unaware about the situation so shining light on the reasons can really change perspectives.

i love those pictures of momo sososososo much. she’s so bunny coded im obsessed. we r all momo stans here <333

my bf’s best friend came back from a trip to japan and he brought me a super cute hangyodon keychain. (he brought my bf a really really awesome studio ghibli greatest hits type of cd, i wish i took a pic to show it to you </3)

kuromi was like 5th which is consistent to where she was last year. i’m glad to see that other characters like pochacco and pompompurin are getting love though!

ily bb! i hope you’ve had the best weekend. and happy mother’s day to your mom & you 4 birthing queen momo 💘

(this is tofu literally helping me work on the presents and being a gift herself <3)

-🐈‍⬛

Hi my angel! Your long-ass asks get me through the days lately. They don’t bother me in the slightest !! 🫶

Thank you for all the wise pharmacist intel !! I will absolutely look into that. I need to hold myself to a better routine and be better about turning my phone off at night, but I always end up answering asks when I’m supposed to be sleeping and it’s just as therapeutic to me as rest is. It’s a constant battle 🫠

The Changbin pic 🤕 like skz never even use their instagrams all that much and all of a sudden we’re getting SO much stuff at the worst time possible ?? Where was this energy when I cared enough to interact with it 😭 the W Korea magazine covers too lorddddd everybody on my instagram knows I collect Felix magazines like a full time job and I had a few messages asking me if I’d seen his new covers. Had to politely share a story about why I’ll be quiet on my Felix shrine for a little bit 🤕 it sucks. Also absolutely agree with you about the education thing- I mean this has been an ongoing issue for 76 years now, but to pretend like it’s not EVERYWHERE since the escalation starting in October is just ignorant. It takes a few minutes to read through articles! People make tik toks! There are infographics! There’s so much information and to act like you don’t have time to do basic research is so silly.

Momo loves you right back 🫶💘!! She’s currently sitting in my window meowing at bypassers in my building and she’s very popular

Also the hangyodon keychain!!! That is so sweet of him oh my god!!!!!! I love love looooove hangyodon 🥹

Kuromi placing 5th makes so much sense if we’re going to give pochacco and pompompurin a little love too! Sanrio supremacy 🫶

PLEASE SEND TOFU ALL MY LOVE……. She is so cutie I’m so obsessed with her (and you) I love you angel!!!!! I hope you have the best weekend 💕💓💗🩷💘🫶👼 happy Mother’s Day to my favorite cat mama anon 🐱💓

#ask

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strawbrygashez · 9 months

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Idk if you’ve been asked this, If you have an answer or even take asks, but I’ve looked at some of ur acc and live for the little fight club scenarios you come up with and was wondering if you had any favourite headcanons or moments you’ve thought up?

Omg yes I love getting asks :D and thank u for saying u like them! I feel kinda annoying/cringe for posting every little thought I randomly come up with for them but EH it’s fun :,) but anyways.. lately I’ve been thinking of these ideas that I haven’t shared yet:

•Tyler is the kinda person to be super affectionate while sleepy or still waking up. The mornings where he doesn’t wake up first and he finds the narrator cooking breakfast, he wraps his arms around him while still groggy and kisses his cheek & back of his neck. That or he has his arms around him but he is like, 2 seconds away from falling back asleep again while standing up & resting his head on the narrators shoulder.

•While Tyler does sometimes show that hes ‘weak’ (see above) he doesn’t want to come off like that super often especially if they haven’t been together for supppeeer long.

So, when he gets sick he will deny it to hell and back that he feels bad or that he should rest. The narrator will put his hand on Tyler’s forehead and feel he’s burning up but Tyler will just not let up & he will still want to go to work or do his usual daily things. He either has to be dragged to bed by the narrator or just realize he psychically can’t go on anymore for the rest of the day.

He loves the narrator taking care of him when he’s sick though. If he has any extra energy/sass in him, he will ask the narrator when he’s gonna go put on a sexy nurse outfit since he is taking care of him. 💀

•Tyler gets random bursts of energy sometimes bc something good happened with project mayhem or just any plan that he thought up and was successful in finishing. When he gets them he will do stuff like roughly pull the narrator towards him and kiss him all over the face & drag him out to celebrate. Or he just is basically tugging him either which way while going on about whatever he’s happy about. He might even pick the narrator up off the floor to swing him around. The narrators heart like MELTS when he’s like this because he loves seeing Tyler happy.

• They have enough pictures of each other & them together to hypothetically fill a photo album book. Tyler loves photography and he loves the narrator so he takes so many of him. The ones he takes of the narrator are kinda random tho like the narrator will just have a face like •_• and Tyler takes a picture anyways. Even mutters ‘cute’ when he looks back at it. He also likes taking NASTY pictures of him and embarrassing ones like ones where he’s drunk off his ass & is doing something crazy that he normally wouldn’t.

When the narrator is taking pictures of Tyler, it’s mostly around times where he’s just so enamored by Tylers beauty. Like if Tyler is smiling, posing without meaning to pose or just looking relaxed, the narrator will snap a pic if the camera is near by.

If it’s pictures of them together, it was most likely taken by Marla. She thinks they are both extremely dorky together and needs to show them how gross it is that they are always making heart eyes at each other.

Tyler keeps his favorite pictures of him & the narrator together with him at all times!!

#asks #THANK U FOR ASKING!!!! writing all that is making me wanna think up more to share..

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scotianostra · 2 years

Photo

Happy Birthday the super sexy Scottish actress Michelle Gomez.

Michelle was born as Michelle May Romney Marsham Antonia Gomez in Ayr in 1966, and grew up in Glasgow. Her dad is of Portuguese descent and is from Montserrat, her mum ran a model agency’ She is one of four children; two older brothers, one of whom is called Derek, and a twin brother who died in.2004.

When she was seven, her parents took her to see Cole Porter’s musical take on the Shrew, Kiss Me, Kate at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow and she was mesmerised by the character Kate, she described it as

“ I was electrified and, of course, I thought they were talking to me. Even then I had an ego running riot. And I loved Kate’s energy, her fieriness. Even at that age, I identified; I thought: ‘Yup, I’m one of her, she’s one of me.”

Michelle attended Shawlands Academy and the junior section of The Scottish Academy of Music and Dance from the age of twelve before going to the adult Academy.

Her first major role was in Irvine Welsh's Acid House , that’s my pal Gary McCormack with her in the first pic, she went on to make small screen appearances in The Bill and Taggart (two different roles in each) before the very funny and underrated Book Club on channel Four.

Other TV appearances have been in Rebus, Murder in Suburbia and Carrie & Barry before her big break as staff liaison officer Sue White in the Channel 4 comedy Green Wing.

For me Michelle’s best work has been as “Missy” in Dr Who, where she regularly steals scenes. Before the first female Doctor, she was the first female “Master”, one of the Doctors recurring arch enemies.

As well as her roles on this side of the Atlantic Michelle has appeared in Highlander: The Raven the American supernatural television series Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, featuring in all 36 episodes, the show got rave reviews but I have not watched it myself, not being a fan of the supernatural horror genre. It was cancelled in July 2020 due to the covid pandemic, I wouldn’t write off it being picked up again in the future, some sources are erroneously saying a series 5 is due soon.

Michelle has been on our screens in The Flight Attendant, series based on the 2018 novel of the same name, it’s on HBO Max in the States, I must admit I’ve not got round to watching it as yet, the show was originally meant to be a mini-series, but a second series was commissioned and it was shown in April this year. It’s not known whether there will be a third series as yet.

Fans of Michelle and the Superhero genre will be pleased that they return to HBO Max in December.

No doubt we will also see her return to Dr Who someday, I certainly hope so. Gomez has been married to actor Jack Davenport since 1st May 2000 they have a son together. Of him she said

“Jack wasn't my type at all. I thought he was too young and too posh and I told him that. Plus, I couldn't deal with his dodgy bowl-cut. But he wore me down”

Of herself Michelle is very modest one saying

“Lots of actresses disappear by the time they're my age. So far, I've bucked the trend. I haven't got sucked into that 26-episode run of something like Casualty. Thankfully, my face has stopped that happening. It's not something you want to see every week on TV! I'm theatrical saffron in that way - just a light sprinkling of me here and there...”

Of her ambitions Michelle says it is to play Mama Rose in Gypsy on stage on Broadway.

“That would be checking every box in my career if I got to play that. That is my biggest ambition! Oh my, I would ROCK THAT! I need to learn how to sing first, but that is just a technicality.”

Happy Birthday Michelle and good luck with getting on stage in Gypsy.

#Scotland #scottish #actress #television

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therichantsim · 1 year

Text

So for the last few days my daughter has been either home or coming home from work early. She’ll call ahead asking me to turn on her laptop and game. We’ve been simming together at the office table. We chat, enjoy our snacks, and pixel people. I still haven’t figured out which mod needs updating that’s preventing her sims from sleeping but for now she queues up naps or cheats their needs. Anyway, this has been fun. However, my little brownie is a Leo and has strong main character energy. So as nice as this quality gaming time has been I can’t get any real progress done on my story or my gameplay.

TO READ THE REST SEE BELOW THE CUT.

She doesn’t have TOOL mod so the apartment I built for her simself still has the mouse holes and leaking pipes. So I said just move to a nicer apartment in the art or fashion districts or a house. I showed her the San Sequoia house I did that looks like a townhouse. She loved it. I said pack your sims things in the household inventory, delete the kitchen and baths so get the money and sell what you didn't want to keep. That way you can furnish the house with the items from the household. She damn near deleted everything except their beds and one sofa.

I’m like… “THATS NOT WHAT I SAID DO!” So she begs me to furnish the house. She goes on about building and decorating is NOT her ministry. She’s a CAS and skill building game player. I sigh and give in and slide my laptop to the side and began to quickly furnish her house. I’m not trying to get lost in the details of clutter and wall art. It can looked like they just got settled in for awhile. I finish and resume my taking pics for my story so I can go play on my gameplay save.

DO YOU KNOW SHE ENDED UP SAVING AND CLOSING HER SIMELF SAVE JUST TO OPEN ANOTHER SAVE INSTEAD!!

I look up and she’s playing the Sims I built that huge Alto apartment for. Planning their wedding and she asked if I had a wedding venue in the gallery. I said no but I follow enough builders that do so go look at theirs. She says but I want a RichAnt original. I said what difference does it make only you will see it. You don’t even take pictures. So anyway, she’s at work today and I think she has clients all day. But I get a text asking me if I could dress all her male sims for the bachelor party and wedding because I was so fast and decisive. Also, could I build a modern house in the Pinnacles for them to live in after the wedding? ON THE 64X64 LOT!!

This is not the quality time I was hoping for but she did cook some really good curry chicken for dinner. Everyone knows good food is my love language.

#richant's rants and randomness

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punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Mafi Pt.1

Mattie: [Okay ladies, it is a good six months since you would have last seen each other for Leavers which is the end of June/start of July typically; safe to say we did not in the SLIGHTEST expect to be seeing you today, at Jay’s engagement party of all places, so the double-take we do will actually be comical like HELLO ?!! Of course, we’re coming over, hopefully, you had enough time whilst we were in shock to say hi to Dolly who actually invited you here, excuse us everyone ‘cos none of y’all know who this girl is so you will all be peeping on the low like who dis as we’re giving you a hug literally like ‘I can’t believe it!’]

Fi: [Like, there is a slim chance you maybe saw each other if she was loitering around in September because uni doesn’t start until October if we want that, but yeah, regardless the shock and awe will be dramatic, I’d like to point out before I have her hug this gal back and say something that because she is super gay she absolutely has one of the last sweet pea flowers of her last season at school pressed and in her phone case, whether Mattie clocked that at the time or isn’t going to until tonight when this bitch is taking pics, but ANYWAY, hug her back and say ‘hello, miss’ being unnecessarily flirty about calling her that again, just because, but CLEARLY buzzing to see her and smiling so big like hey]

Mattie: [when you get to be gay so you can go full force with the romantic drama, shine my boo, shine, I’ll say whether that has been clocked or not we’re not mentioning it in front of the rest of the crowd rn; shaking your head and giving her the friendliest of pushes like oh, you ‘Please, even if we were in term time, you only ever called me that to get a reaction’ me like a reaction, lol ok girls, doing our big grin ‘so, how was first semester?’ ‘cos why do we go American when uni, to feel fancy? Idk but go off and also of course we want to know how it has been]

Fi: [this is my moment, sang like the martine mcclutcheon song obvs hehe, doing a cheeky eyebrow raise at the word reaction, gotta ‘and without fail, it worked every time’ like yep, we both know exactly what I’m doing and why, emphasising this unnecessarily by touching her in some way related to her ootn but super flirtily, whether that’s like touching her waist or back because of outfit deets or her hair for a hair accessory or purely straight coming at her jewellery, either way like nice because we approve, having already drawn attention to her own outfit choices by acting like she’s gonna stumble to her death in whatever shoes she’s rocking cos of Mattie’s gentle af push lol, of course being a massive nerd about everything to do with uni, lowkey giving her too many deets not just about her course but who she’s met and what she’s been up to other than class cos has always been your vibe to talk and talk and talk to this gal about everything, excuse us everyone, eventually, when she’s exhausted the uni topic, asking ‘how’s things with you, at your end?’ which means how’s you and how’s work going/how’s my gals at school etc but also means how’s the old form teacher who bullied me because I vibe that before she left she told Mattie the full story about that, having the energy of in a kind of spark, minus the autism, but her being a handful and said teacher handling it ALL wrong, so she’s hoping that lady isn’t a form tutor any more as of this year]

Mattie: [doing the sort of you-got-me shrug with a lil smirk because we know we fell for it in all the ways ‘easy target, I believe you said’ not us harkening back to the first day like an insane person, miming a little shooting a bow and arrow moment before you’re putting out a hand and holding her arm to steady her lest she actually hit the deck, so now we’re just holding each other in a very casual way, nbd, after LINGERING, pull your hand away and fold your arms as you get into this convo, giving her that lowdown on all the things that might have changed and the things that haven’t ‘you’ve not felt too homesick then?’ IMMEDIATELY putting our hand on your arm again, in that comforting way because everyone does the first year and the way we clearly mean for the school more than we mean your literal family there]

Fi: [‘did I?’ said with the tone and smile of knowing you did because she remembers but downplaying it like lol lol what am I like and how rude of me, love how immediately gay y’all are being at this function and the fact you’ve barely said hi to Dolly, amuses me greatly ‘it’s been bearable, thanks to keeping busy, you know’ genuinely and in a subtle I’m soz I haven’t been in touch kind of way ‘the place hasn’t fallen apart without my leadership then?’ obvs glad actually but doing a lil pout about it like the audacity]

Mattie: [she’s clearly used to it and this was your vibe before but it is rude when she’s specifically invited you for backup tonight, which we are aware of because not a crap sister despite how we’ll feel like one when this all goes down ‘it isn’t the same without you’ as genuinely, even if we’re doing a little lol at your pout, using Dolly to move her closer to you and push ourselves away like must mingle ‘cos really, you must ‘be back in a sec, it’s so good to see you’ not the brush off it invariably sounds ‘cos we truly are and are all too aware we could stand here and ignore everyone else all night if we let ourselves]

Fi: [SUCH a genuine smile at her admitting it’s not the same without us, shamelessly, not soz ‘I can’t get used to not seeing you every morning either, it’s too strange’ despite the fact we’re waving her off to go and mingle because this bitch is the queen of mingling so she knows what’s up, like yeah yeah go it’s fine, catch up with Dolly for a minute because keeping her sane is the actual reason why you’re here, but I am also gonna have to say you talk to the happy couple to say congrats because she would on her way to get y’all drinks or something, so when she’s talking to Jay/Noah/both and they mention Mattie, cos you clearly know her lol, saying like it’s bants cos of how great she is or to confirm the lewk she’s serving ‘I had the biggest crush on her in school’ which I’m gonna need Mattie to overhear without the rest of the convo because Winnie insists, even though she isn’t shouting it across this party or anything haha]

Mattie: [a meaningful look back as if to say hold that thought because the strangeness cannot be overstated because y’all were her first year of leavers, so she’s yet to get used to the machine of getting to know kids at 11 or whenever they join and then waving them off at 18, not at all mentioning the possibility or the specificness of not being used to not seeing YOU every day, nope lol; Winnie says we owe him so much sapphic tension now, thanks, when you don’t have an ego at all so you’re thinking she must mean Dolly which is awkward because we know Dolly is very straight from the confiding she would have done about some of the Swiss school nonsense]

Fi: [soz that will seem true because when she gets back from her congrats for the happy couple she’s gonna be doing everything a good friend would to make sure Dolly has a good time at this party, including so much chatting and so much dancing, it’ll seem very gay and very like you do have a crush on her now lol]

Mattie: [I can’t help that she isn’t a bitch to assume that’s about her, Winola, there’s nothing I can do hun, when you’re now like oh no, do I need to stealthily save Dolly from this situation or nah, what a comedy of errors; at least the grandparents are also there and they could need to talk to Dolly so we can butt in at some point like grandma needs you girl go ‘can I get you a drink? that only being a novelty on my part, though it is’ at Fi]

Fi: [look around comedically and dramatically like you do when you’re checking someone has really gone before you answer because in solidarity with Dolly she hasn’t been drinking alcohol while they’ve been vibing cos just the kind of bitch she is, again it looks gay though, doing a face and lol of relief like oh thank god as if you are that desperate for a real drink cos that party girl persona you put on from her literal first day with the practice telling off of it all, and nod as you say ‘sure’ too eagerly but don’t elaborate on what you actually want, because again this bitch]

Mattie: [looking after Dolly with a smile like yes, I know because you’re not teetotal yourself but you know where her disdain comes from and you can’t blame her for it, nor do you not think it’s a legit response because duh, James is your dad, you know the score; looking back at this girl and going to do another oh, you shove but stopping yourself like oh no, must not, lest you topple over again ‘you’re still fond of a guessing game’ like that hasn’t changed either, I see]

Fi: [smiling too big about the bants of her calling you a pisshead because we just love that the rapport is still here and hasn’t changed ‘with you’ no notes, just remembering the Emily Spinach moment and I’m sure countless other guesses Mattie has slayed that we’re yet to write but just know exists]

Mattie: [doing your own smile back and silently reminiscing with you because the only way you could’ve got that Emily Spinach one is by being that gay and we all know it lol, you love to see it; ‘just know I’m playing it safe, lest you be unable to keep up with your noble escort duties’ like I KNOW your fave drink would be something more hardcore but I won’t get you smashed when you need to be good company for Dolly, ‘cos not having you think we’re lame here]

Fi: [‘as long as you’re aware I’m only allowing it because I take them extremely seriously’ gesturing at herself and her outfit cos her and Dolly are lowkey matching here like yep gotta be the best plus one this town has ever seen lol, cos she do, despite also knowing Mattie would be at this and wanting to see her, not saying at all that’s the only reason she came ‘and you’ll owe me a dance, we haven’t had one together since leaver’s ball’ oh lord imagine how gay that night would’ve been please, not this girl being like I KNOW that’s unsafe and you gotta to even the score]

Mattie: [doing a little bow like but of course as you gesture at her as well like I see what you’re doing here and we approve, then reaching to whisper in your ear, if in a stage fashion to make it less serious so you can deal ‘you look more dapper than the soon-to-be-groom’ ‘cos Nay did not get the memo and all their guests have outdressed them really, soz; walk to the bar situation girl before you can acknowledge you’ve made your own cheeks pink here ‘and I’ll have your drink for you’ as you’re walking away because you can have a strong one, I’m sure it’s your first drink that isn’t the champagne you politely sip at these sort of functions]

Fi: [it’s her laugh making that so much flirtier and gay, because it seems like Mattie said something way more flirtier and gay than she did, for me, plus giving her the gentle push that Mattie didn’t go through with but a moment ago like oh you, get out of here ‘dorm inspections all over again’ called after her, like ty for the reminder cos was homesick, we can all imagine what was getting confiscated and again what you are saying about yourself]

Mattie: [shaking your head as you’re walking but not turning around so you can’t see the 😏 we’re also doing, order her some sort of wine vibe whilst you get yourself a cocktail because we all know cocktails go the hardest, whatever the male ego says about them being pretty and fruity, like there’s usually at least 2 types of liquor in them if not more]

Fi: [when you are gonna lowkey down that drink ASAP because it would be your first one with booze in it if you arrived late and didn’t get the welcome champagne, and like, you’re nervous to be reunited with this gal in this setting, but distract from the fact you just did that by playing a guessing game about what her cocktail is]

Mattie: [‘I can sneak you another under the table’ again in your stage whisper, like I know the party isn’t jumping that much you gotta be in her ear, just talk normally hun; but we legit sympathise with being at a party with only 3 people you know, Lulu barely at all and she’s busy doing whatever she’s doing, and not being able to loosen up with a drink if that’s your normal, which it is most people’s, doesn’t actually make you a party animal by default ‘or, let you have a sip, you can guess the ingredients then’ like we could do that, making a face like ooh, it strong ‘cos clearly lol]

Fi: [the absolute mischief in her eyes at both of these suggestions and absolute delight at who they are coming out of the mouth of, cos clearly love to be a bad influence upon this gal, but there was no encouragement needed, lowkey heart eyes though at her ADORABLE face when she takes a sip because simply must, taking the glass from her and taking her own like she’s doing her a favour sharing here if it is that strong, without making a face, but barely, like she really had to give it her ALL to stop herself from doing one, so then that making her lol, but correctly guessing through said lols, duh, excuse me while I die at her lipstick print on this glass as she hands it back cos we’ve all seen the outfit, we know she’s wearing it]

Mattie: [maintaining unnecessary eye contact as she does her sip, narrowing your eyes and pursing your lips like you’re keeping the closest of eyes on her, trying to guess her guess before it’s out of her mouth; of course the lol is making us do our own heart eyes ‘how do you know what [an obscure ingredient they put in just to be fancy, you know the kind] tastes like ?!!’ with our own laugh like I don’t know, feels like cheating, not us here running our thumb over the lipstick print, your glass by your hip so it’s not like obvious you’re doing it, but we are]

Fi: [‘how would I have a fave bartender for years and not know?’ like what do you take me for, I’m SO knowledgeable thank you, with an unnecessary wink like keep that in the vault with all my other secrets you have I’ve overshared, as she’s pulling her towards the dance floor to have the dance she insists on and won’t take no for an answer about]

Mattie: [rolling our eyes affectionately ‘I assumed you tipped well and she kept quiet about the fakeness of your ID’ the way we’ve assumed it was a woman, got your number lmao but also outing yourself there, get dragged to this dance floor which I hope at least has some of Nay’s friends on because we know the party is not hip happening and the way it’d be a scene for all the nosy hoes if it was just y’all up there now, not that we’re concerned personally, here spinning each other around like kids]

Fi: [‘I did and he did’ my deliberate he to keep her on her toes here as if that’s fooling anybody haha, with a cheeky grin like she’s the devil emoji irl, in contrast to a moment later when she’s doing whatever ballet moves she can remember from her youth because Mattie is literally that ballerina rn and always]

Mattie: [doing a grumpy lil face as if it is somehow worse that it was a man, soz some things seem that way, especially if you’re not checking yourself and your opinions, which we’re not right now because we are spinning and sipping, I like to think your drink has a straw she would have purposely had to avoid to leave her lipstick mark on the glass because I can; doing such a happy clap like YAY when you realise what she’s doing and attempt to direct her with all the french words that I ain’t gonna sit here and look up, get yourself en pointe though hun, literally wearing ballet shoes, v Titanic of you]

Fi: [‘don’t be upset, I’ve learnt my lesson’ because it does read as sketchy af and we’re all aware of the fact, which she’s saying, but it’s also giving the double meaning that you don’t mess around with men/boys anymore so I love that, as do I how hardcore this girl is getting into this ballet lesson, taking her shoes off and everything to see if she can copy this, which you absolutely cannot because that’s so difficult and you clearly did it as a kid for like a couple of years max ‘okay, no, I’m way too sober for that’ as we try and fail, loling, clearly all the more impressed by her skills because of]

Mattie: [‘was it a you thing or a schoolgirl thing?’ like do I need to go to some pub local to this school and scare off some letchy barman, but also acknowledging that it was and is entirely possible that this dude just fancied her and wasn’t fussed she was like 17 or whatever; just having the best time showing off our ballet moves here and teaching you like there’s not people just milling about making small talk over picky food ‘later I’ll have you on your toes then’ leaning down to pick up her shoes to hand her]

Fi: [‘did I look like a schoolgirl out of uniform?’ when you’re genuinely asking like did I look my age/underage for him to be that level of creepy but everything has this double meaning and flirty edge to it that you just cannot help/are not even aware how blatant it is, because clearly she thought he just fancied her at the time, all teenagers think they look and act older and cooler than they do, hence asking for Mattie’s opinion as she’s not one, put your shoes back on and finish your drink like you’re doing your best to be less sober and therefore an iconic ballerina]

Mattie: [genuinely think about it and shake your head after a minute ‘no, I don’t think so’ because some people look super younger than they are and we don’t think you were or are giving that, honestly, we also like to think we wouldn’t have thought you were so quite so pretty otherwise but that’s a guilty thought we’re not sharing out loud, have the rest of your drink, even though there was no need for you to try and keep pace]

Fi: [‘he’ll live another day to serve another overpriced [whatever the cool rich girl drink of the moment was when you were like 15-17 and he was your fave], in blissful ignorance of his narrow escape’ with a shrug like lucky you sir like Mattie was gonna go fuck him up for being a nonce, cos she clearly has form for helping you sort that form teacher who was a bully out, though less dramatically, noticing her lipstick mark on this glass when Mattie drinks out of it again to finish and making a face like oh I’m gonna have to go waste time in the bathroom touching that up again and cba, but dragging her with you cos that’ll make it bearable]

Mattie: [putting up your fists like yeah, I know, I’m very fearsome lol but we truly would have gone down there and shook that man to his core accusing him of things and we all know it, we don’t play about this school and these kids ‘won’t get either of the girls’ quieter but Fi will still be able to hear, ‘cos we know neither twin is off down the pub or going anywhere and we are WORRIED about their lack of socializing honey, happily go and have a bathroom moment, touching our hair like I’m sure some of that has flown out with that wild dance break, having a quick check neither twin or anyone else is in the loos when you get in there, nothing worse than getting caught talking about someone, even if it is with concern]

Fi: [touching Mattie’s arm the way she touched hers when she was genuinely concerned about her being homesick because we see her twin concern and we get it ‘I barely had to talk her into bringing me’ because Fi is that won’t take no for an answer bitch but we’re saying this was actually Dolly’s idea and she clearly has kept in touch too it’s not just Fi being one sided and extra, doing an exaggerated mouth close like it was all her, I promise, but you can style it out into re-applying your lipstick as well so]

Mattie: [making a noise like oh, I know ‘I’m really glad you’re here’ because it is clear progress for Dolly and shows she has it in her, tapping our forehead with the palm of our hand like oh ‘I already said that, didn’t I?’ like how GLAD can I be? Be in this mirror sorting out your hair so you have something to do that isn’t just watching her ‘It’s just typical you weren’t in her year’ like she could do with some company day to day now but shrugging because you can’t force it for either of them at their age]

Fi: [‘for Doll’s sake is different than how you said it before’ like it’s FINE don’t worry you aren’t repeating yourself I know you were glad to see me for your own sake at first ‘I, meanwhile, could go on and on about how I’d kill for more time’ because you miss school however much you’re enjoying uni and some of that is definitely missing Mattie which she has already said]

Mattie: [just smiling at her through this mirror because we’re not going to deny it, we know what we said and why we said it ‘I wonder if anyone actually feels ready or they’re just good liars’ because we felt the same when we went to Uni hence we went very close by so we could stay home like that ‘have you found enough new friends to fill a plague pit?’ nudging into her back with your shoulder, gently and after she’s finished with the lippy so that doesn’t go awry]

Fi: [‘when you’ve had more leavers you’ll be able to conduct thorough research’ as if she’s gonna do a poll, but really just acknowledging what my boo said before about how new Mattie is at this and also how there really isn’t a big age gap between them ‘enough that when we hold hands for ring a ring o roses and all fall down it blocks everyone’s route to lectures for a solid minute, at a guess’ because defs feel like you’ve made lots of friends quick, you are that bitch and you’d throw yourself into it, but putting her head on Mattie’s shoulder because nevertheless it isn’t the same and is an adjustment]

Mattie: [‘it’s horrible’ ‘cos we are that bitch to get emotional every time a year leaves, even though you know you gotta let them fly the nest and move on, god bless lol; just putting your arm around her and then stroking her hair ‘you’ll miss this time one day before you know it’ because true, it’ll fly and then you’ll have that nostalgia to live with as well ‘you’re doing amazingly’ because we don’t doubt it, with the social side of Uni which is arguably more important and the actual course]

Fi: [‘if that’s a heads up not to put myself through it, you’re right on time’ because thinking about becoming a teacher herself fr already, we know, but smiling because we also know that hasn’t changed her mind really ‘I’ll miss this moment specifically, I know it’ literally outing herself like that like right here right now is where I wanna stay forever yes true]

Mattie: [tilting your head like hm? So yours is now resting atop hers, then snapping it up like OMG when you realise and doing your excited clapping again ‘oh, do come back to us!’ half as a joke as you put your hands on her shoulders but also not, pulling her in for a hug ‘you’ll be an incredible teacher, Fi’]

Fi: [when she’s adorable and you CANNOT cope, thank god there is nobody else in here because the hearteyes are back in FULL force at her response to the teacher career reveal ‘I’d love to, if you’ll have me’ which is what she said about uni, if they’ll have me, sounds casual but isn’t at all which is her entire vibe always, making this hug more extra than it needs to be just because she has missed her so much she can’t not ‘you told me such a similar thing on your first day as one’ cos she did and the way she’s always and instantly believed in us has this girl emosh]

Mattie: [we’re just here jumping up and down in this hug, swaying you from side to side, don’t mind us ‘who could be better?’ like you would be perfect, girl ‘you practically served as my TA that whole year, it should count towards your hours’ not us like couldn’t have done it without you, brushing your hair away from your freshly made-up lips]

Fi: [‘I’d do it all again even without your glowing recommendation at the end’ because we know she would, over and over if they could ‘like groundhog day’ never happier than in the last year, soz but it’s true]

Mattie: [‘you’re glowing’ just blurting that out then doing a little lol like back up, what I meant to say was ‘you deserve all the good things that are going to come to you, you’re just- lovely’]

Fi: [‘it isn’t the lighting in here’ shading nay’s engagement venue haha but we all remember from Dolly’s posts the bathrooms were a choice so I can ‘must be seeing you again, hearing you hype me up in the way only you do’ because who else is, not her flop fam and not her school friends who are currently scattered to the four winds fighting for their lives in that weird time after school and uni starting, or uni friends she’s had for a few months]

Mattie: [‘or the booze’ touching both her cheeks with the backs of her hands like no, you don’t have that alcohol glow yet, just lingering and stroking her cheeks, standard ‘well, you know me’ doing a shrug like it’s nbd]

Fi: [‘I know I wanted to talk to you, I’ve never started so many conversations in my life, just to not let them get started’ with her own shrug like that’s such a nbd thing to say]

Mattie: [‘you were busy’ like I know how it is, I wouldn’t be mad at you ‘and it would’ve been wrong for me to, maybe later, give you chance to settle in’ when you’re admitting you wanted to too but as a teacher, that would be weird]

Fi: [‘wrong’ when you gotta let that word sit there because you know it should feel like that but it doesn’t]

Mattie: [moving your hands down to your side and taking a step back, steadying yourself against the sink ‘you wouldn’t want your old teacher hassling you whilst you’re out there moving on’ clutching the cold porcelain of this sink to contrast how warm her skin was]

Fi: [‘you weren’t my teacher’ because true in that literal sense but also because we were friends is how we see it, then and now ‘and moving on is cold’ literally while she’s there with that cold sink ‘like you’ve done your job and now it’s over’]

Mattie: [‘you know that’s not how I see it, how I see you’ as we’re turning back to look at you]

Fi: [‘I kept busy because you’ve had a new year to settle in, and the more I did, the more there’d be to talk about, in theory, but I still couldn’t’ just blurting this out like, it’s so weird I didn’t know how to start a convo cos of how much we used to talk]

Mattie: [‘it’s okay, it’s… everything is different’ because y’all had reason and free reign to talk to each other before, now it’s a real choice, we know it]

Fi: [‘I thought I was the biggest fan of change’ because she was about it before but now this is like !!? and we’re not here for it thank you]

Mattie: [doing a sheepish smile because what can we say, we’re both feeling that !!? honey]

Fi: [just playing with a strand of hair that poor Mattie fixed not long ago, teasing it back out and letting it fall over her face again so she’s looking messy but in a cute way because here for that always]

Mattie: [blushing ‘is that better?’ like you’re purely talking about your hair and not the way you’re moving closer to her again]

Fi: [‘different’ like we’ve gotta reclaim that word from the negative it was used in a sec ago and remind ourselves change can be good it doesn’t have to suck]

Mattie: [nodding like we agree and are on board ‘different’ as if we need to repeat to remind ourself ‘you make me feel different’]

Fi: [‘I was scared I would ruin my streak’ like her being her as Dolly’s plus one wasn’t a good surprise the way they used to surprise each other she’d have to go die, cos imagine, Mattie like, you again]

Mattie: [shake your head like you definitely have not ‘I didn’t know if I’d see you again, or, not ‘til some reunion or…’ shrugging like that wasn’t a very real possibility and we weren’t okay with it]

Fi: [‘if I left it that long you wouldn’t recognise me, which would be completely and utterly bad different, for both of us’ like ew no, cannot]

Mattie: [‘what about me? I’d be an actual old lady, horrific’ like no thank you, not at all casually reaching out for her hand]

Fi: [‘no, but you’d be married, which is worse’ taking her hand and doing a pose like she’s showing a wedding ring off like that would actually be horrific and I’d die]

Mattie: [lol like to who, ma’am ‘I don’t think so’ giving her hand a playful slap with ours like nay nay]

Fi: [looking around ‘how could you not want this?’ shading nay again, soz not soz, but underneath that playful bants it’s like actually though]

Mattie: [cover your mouth like you’ll really cackle if not like oops ‘don’t diss the decor, I did this on very short notice’ like tah, sis]

Fi: [‘I wouldn’t dream of it, the decor’s fantastic, I’m this close to booking in Allegra in preparation for marriage number 3, it’s the charm, so they say, maybe it’ll be a husband we can both stand’ because her mum can’t stand her dad but she can’t stand her stepdad lol]

Mattie: [crossing our fingers on both hands like I hope so because we just want you to be happy, obviously ‘what do you think?’ and nodding your head towards the door ‘of that happy couple?’]

Fi: [lowering her voice to a whisper even though there’s no need ‘your sister is exactly how I pictured her according to your painting’ because you would’ve heard so much about Jay by this point you lowkey feel like you know her ‘he’s less what I would’ve imagined, but I try not to give grown men the amount of headspace I once did, lesson learnt, as I’ve admitted, could be why’]

Mattie: [someone could walk in but it’s not like you’re being cunty or these convos aren’t happening all over this party but I get it, we’re also talking in more hushed tones ‘they’ve been together for a long time’ which she surely knows but as if we’re justifying it here and now ‘you might have the right idea’ ‘cos none of us are sold on this or Noah but it is what it is]

Fi: [‘I know, but I assumed she’d be with someone who, superficially, could bench press both of us at the same time’ soz to drag you to filth like that Noah but Jay is sporty gym gal and that’s one of the biggest things we’ve always known about her so, and she hasn’t talked to nay long enough to be like oh it’s your personality she loves, can’t go on anything but shallow stuff rn]

Mattie: [doing a cute lol because you would assume that was her type ‘is that what your favourite bartender looked like?’ ‘cos you too are a sporty gal]

Fi: [‘it’s what my fave bouncer looked like’ because I always befriended them on nights out, in my case for if I needed help, but you just would, I feel like]

Mattie: [nod like oh yep, that tracks ‘at least he’s suited for his job’ ‘cos what is the point when they’re just fat or not remotely tough like soz it’s v much the point]

Fi: [‘whatever my opinion of them, Doll can count me as her wedding date unless she gets a better offer’ just back to the point here which is how buzzing we are to have got an invite to this, flop event though it may be]

Mattie: [making a face when you realise you’ll have a plus one place to either fill or ignore like oh GOD ‘thank god I can keep super busy’ which sounds like you don’t wanna see her and Dolly together but obviously that isn’t what we meant, swatting our hands like oh, you know what I mean]

Fi: [SUCH an amused face ‘and thank god I won’t keep you waiting until the reception to have another catch up’ cos imagine, that wedding could be forever away, some peeps wait years]

Mattie: [tapping her arm like no, you won’t ‘now the conversation has been started’ like it’ll be easier from here on out]

Fi: [‘when we next stall I can take you out for [whatever the cocktail she just drank was]’ not you admitting it’s still kinda awks and y’all might need to get drunk about it to deal with this sapphic tension]

Mattie: [‘we won’t’ shaking our head so more of our hair comes loose, refusing to acknowledge it could be awkward like nope ‘but I do owe you a proper drink’]

Fi: [playing with said loose hair for no reason whatsoever ‘I owe you your own escort, and my full attention’ because technically here for your sister even though it’s too easy for you both to forget that rn in here]

Mattie: [‘you take it very seriously’ like I remember and you’re very gentlemanly 😌 face before you’re looking at the door like we should probably get back in there]

Fi: [when you see her look towards that door and you go to say something but you only get ‘Mattie-’ out, note the first time she’s used her name this convo though, before someone comes into this bathroom and you don’t wanna finish whatever gay thing you were about to say, so yeah, go out and find Dolly again hun]

Mattie: [the ? on our face before this person rudely interrupts to go to the toilet, it is probably someone you vaguely know so you might have to stay and have a little chat before so let this girl go, however begrudgingly it is]

Fi: [soz Win but it’s a realistic cockblock and you have gotta go back to Dolly anyways, girl, so do that and do your best not to be gutted af]

Mattie: [and you gotta do some more mingling girl, keep this party ticking over for your sins]

Fi: [nobody’s living for the nay engagement but the party doesn’t have to be a total bust just because they are flops]

Mattie: [at least you can get these gals mocktails to enjoy and Gabe whatever he’s been drinking with Lulu because can’t do one and not the other]

Fi: [just know that you are not welcome though Gabe, ever, but it means you can raise your glass at this girl across the room like ty so that’s nice, we like that, even if you blatantly wish it was a cocktail, Fi, you’re being a good friend]

Mattie: [we could have cheated but I think Dolly would know and you are being a good friend, we don’t want to derail you that hard, and we definitely do not like Gabe but at least Lulu is socialising when he’s around so we kind of just put up with him for that sake at this point but there’s no love lost; do your little toast back with the drink you got yourself, not at all romantic just silently communicating across a crowded room, alright taylor]

Fi: [god just take a second to actually think what a dry party this would be because of the age of the peeps mostly being fam like the literal grandparents and Java, and no offence how boring nay are, you really are being a good friend here Fi, I would simply not attend if someone asked me and that was the situation, soz, I fully imagine you and Dolly exploring this venue trying to find anything vaguely interesting or fun to do, we’re all praying for like a giant lawn connect 4 at this point lol]

Mattie: [thank god there is catching up to be done because truly, there’s nothing here for y’all, idek who this party is for lmao, everyone entertain yourselves lowkey, we’ll just be here trying to get Jay to come talk to the twins so they feel included and like there was a reason to bring them here tonight]

Fi: [at least if we say she do, they’ll all be dying, but it’ll bring you 2 back together because Fi literally doesn’t know anyone so she’d be alone else while that awks twin and Jay convo is occurring]

Mattie: [like we’d probably have to do it one by one ‘cos lord knows none of you gals are helping us here but when Jay is making awkward small-talk with Dolly, deffo]

Fi: [soz to throw you under the boring Jay sized bus there Dolly but, I suppose it’s good that she’s vaguely trying to have a catch up with you, agonising as it will be, Fi return the favour and hand Mattie a v alcoholic drink you can tell she needs to deal with how awkward and hard work trying to organise that was]

Mattie: [should Mattie have to encourage you to? No but it’s something, as you are an adult hun; shooting her a look as you take this drink and then your first sip because yeah, we truly need it because Jay is the exact same amount related to these gals as you are and hasn’t put in half the effort, which is like, yeah, your decision but being in the middle of that is a lot ‘aren’t you glad you only have the one little brother?’ raising our brows like these sisters, my god]

Fi: [when you’re just automatically leading her somewhere that you found while you were exploring with Dolly before so Mattie can literally get away from this and have a break because she never gets one and these twins are a lot to be dealing with basically by yourself and all of this Fi has known from basically the beginning cos no secret the gals are weird, Dolly less so obvs hence y’all are legit friends now, but still ‘for all Allegra’s many faults, I can be glad he’s just my little brother, and yeah, I am’ because your mum for all she put on you in terms of pressure at least isn’t making you do more for your little bro than any standard big sister would and you shamelessly are thankful for that]

Mattie: [rich girl perks, you’re not ever going to be needing to look after your siblings like second parents, there’s staff and good schools for that, nodding and sitting yourself down on the floor, wherever y’all are so you can take this moment properly ‘brothers are easier, whatever age’]

Fi: [nod because you feel like you’ve had a lot of sisters with the way your school was set up to make you really look after the younger ones ‘I won’t miss feeling like I’ve got [however many] sisters’ but with a smile because you loved it really, unlike this situation poor Mattie is in]

Mattie: [smile back ‘yeah, right’ ‘cos we know you loved it, before the bathroom heart to heart even we knew that much ‘some sisters are easier than others’ like namely the ones I’m not actually related to lol]

Fi: [‘you’ve had some rotten luck, hence the nobody could call it playing safe drink in your hand’ because where’s the lie, Chlo is also your mum, soz Mattie we’ve really put you through it, girl, and this girl here isn’t gonna sugarcoat it]

Mattie: [do a little lol about how blunt that is but you’re not at all offended because not that type, again taking another sip but purposely taking a bigger gulp like you’re confirming it, like to point out that she would also have 2 younger siblings assuming we’ve got the Java kids we faced so like, wild times lol ‘if I turn this into a pity party though the night is well and truly over’ like we cannot]

Fi: [‘well then, I’ll have to think of how I’m going to turn it back into a party, party’ with that mischievous look back in her eye again, because who is she if not this bitch, hence Dolly invited her to help her have an actually good time]

Mattie: [‘what did you have in mind?’ looking around as if something wild is just going to pop out of nowhere]

Fi: [‘you like to follow clues, I’ll leave some for you’ not this girl just about to set up some kind of spontaneous little treasure hunt moment at the drop of a literal hat like it’s nbd]

Mattie: [shaking your head like oh, okay because who even ‘do I stay here or?’]

Fi: [‘it doesn’t matter, as long as you stay out of my way while I set up the first’ a smile as she messes up Mattie’s hair playfully, which we all know is a clue in itself for her to go back to the bathroom and start there for this first clue, which we likewise all know will be a lipstick message on the mirror because DUH, obvs we’re gonna hark back across their entire relationship with these clues, tonight included]

Mattie: [checking the watch we don’t have on like okay, ready set go energy, waving her off and covering her eyes like we’re not even checking which direction she’s going in even though we picked up on that clue to go to the bathroom in a suitable time]

Fi: [just getting to be the most gay and feelsy of all time with every single clue, god bless, enjoy your trip down memory lane gals, I can only speculate wildly because we don’t know y’all like that after one convo, but the point is clearly to cheer her up and the final clue is blatantly inviting her somewhere after this engagement party is dead and buried because we know it won’t be a late one, Jay doesn’t drink any more and is a gym bitch, I’m sure she has to get up early in the AM even after her engagement party]

Mattie: [we love to see it and are obviously having the greatest time, no need to know y’all to know that much and are definitely going to accept this offer because duh]

Fi: [Dolly will be invited too, of course, so we’ll have to decide if we want her there or not because two very different moods depending if she is or it’s just you two, but either way, I’m just happy the slay outfits won’t be wasted on this boring function]

Mattie: [my boo says I will save the day and the looks, but yes those would be two entirely different vibes at this point so we’d need to pick, ‘cos we’re probably already a little too tipsy to feel comfortable subjecting Dolly to it]

Fi: [we can always do the copout but quite legit vibe that she’s invited but declines because she’s not feeling wherever Fi has decided they’re going, let y’all be gay alone]

Mattie: [I think so, it’s obviously not your scene Dolly and you aren’t in the mood to be in a club with more drunk people or whatever so pop off gays]

Fi: [I don’t blame her, being the sober one on a night out sucks, even if you’re the most sober of the group never mind completely so, but again, cute and nice that you invited her Fi, despite how blatantly you’re hoping she wouldn’t want to actually which is reflected, subconsciously or otherwise, in your choice of venue, you can say it’s cos Mattie’s got her dancing shoes on, which true, but it’s also cos y’all do wanna be alone]

Mattie: [it is very in character of you to dip, not just us or this gal subconsciously being cheeky, it’s cool, soz it does serve us more for them to be alone and it is shamelessly what both these girls would prefer]

Fi: [do you wanna skip to there or should we do some messages when Mattie gets the last clue and accepts her invite?]

Mattie: [let’s do some messages, why not, you’re invariably back with Dolly chilling and we’re lowkey tipsy and overexcited by these shenanigans so]

Mattie: 💌📌💃☁️

Fi: I should’ve made them harder, I can’t believe you’re done

Mattie: Just call me Marple 🔎

Mattie: your own skills are also severely limited by location

Fi: wow, not Jane? I thought we were friends

Fi: my own skills are rusty, you can say it

Mattie: I see my own future as an Aunt Mattie and I am not prepared for that 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: I would never say that

Fi: you would never have an affair with a married man, book Marple is closer to your predicted future

Fi: but knitting and gardening are both fun, you could fare much worse

Mattie: the only married men I know are [and list off the male teachers that are and are clearly not the ones, soz huns]

Mattie: 🤭

Fi: there’s hope for you yet, miss

Fi: and with such a long career ahead before trowels and knitting needles, who knows who you’ll meet

Mattie: I understand why teachers were always unmarried women

Mattie: who am I going to meet when my free time is Sunday 😅

Mattie: sounds positively Victorian

Fi: Agatha Christie wouldn’t write you in a new chaplain love interest, but if I’m in charge of the narrative and location, we needn’t be limited at all

Mattie: University is the time for those sorts of adventures, we should be talking about your love interests, potential or already realised

Fi: no we shouldn’t, I’d have to curl up and die, now that’s positively Victorian

Mattie: now I thought we were friends

Fi: we are, thus I’m sparing you the tale of quite how vigorously I attempted to throw myself into that aspect of uni life

Mattie: it’s okay it’s a cliche for a reason

Fi: it’s embarrassing for a multitude of reasons 😬

Mattie: I was a little bit your teacher, then

Fi: no, I don’t care what they think of me, success story or horror show, that part of my life is over

Fi: you don’t belong in there though, and I do care

Mattie: okay, I understand

Mattie: I wouldn’t judge you though, as long as you know that

Fi: I feel stupid, for the kid in a sweet shop approach

Mattie: it’s your first taste of proper freedom, being adult about it is basically impossible

Fi: I had freedom, a lot more than most

Mattie: Lack of an audience, then

Mattie: everyone here knew you, your mother

Fi: every summer spent with my dad afforded me the luxury of the most cliche holiday romance going, had I wanted

Mattie: of course

Fi: but it’s uni that’s the culture shock, and it does feel like a culture, of throwing yourself at everyone

Mattie: if you don’t want to, you don’t have to continue like that, it calms down, most people do

Fi: thank god, a non-stop three year long speed dating event would be exhausting

Mattie: just

Mattie: don’t necessarily go the other way and think that’s automatically a better idea, you know what I mean

Fi: I won’t let you down, I’d hate to

Mattie: why would you let me down?

Fi: I know why I’m here, I’m not allowed to suddenly become boring 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: that’s not what I meant

Mattie: I had a very serious boyfriend throughout Uni and I really shouldn’t have, for a myriad of reasons, that’s all I was thinking of

Fi: promising not to get a serious boyfriend’s an easy one

Mattie: you’re allowed to do whatever makes you happy

Mattie: make your own mistakes, even, don’t let me harp on about mine to scare you

Fi: I’m not scared of anything you want to tell me, you’re allowed too

Mattie: I’ve never really talked about him, I try not to

Fi: if you want to, I’ll only track him down and kill him as a very last resort, don’t let it put you off

Mattie: whilst I’m sure your methods would be entirely and gruesomely historically accurate

Mattie: you’re meant to use all that free time between lectures to study, you know 😉

Fi: no one can begrudge me a field trip to a medieval torture museum, it’s the hols 📌🌎🛫

Mattie: quite right too

Mattie: he was, in hindsight, someone I wouldn’t want any of my friends to go out with

Mattie: but I didn’t realise it wasn’t a me problem at the time, that’s all

Fi: oh Mattie

Mattie: but he’s long gone, we don’t need to worry about this

Mattie: the final straw was when I took the placement at the school

Fi: just when I thought I couldn’t be any more glad that happened

Mattie: it’s why I had to work there, not that I put that on my application, or talked about how the placement saved me in my interview

Mattie: all a bit much… but he could no longer monopolise my time, control me and where I went, it was like the spell was broken after that

Fi: I can also easily promise not to relay it to your bosses, ancient history doesn’t automatically mean I’ll become obsessed

Mattie: No one knows, only [the teacher you did your training with aka your bestie], unavoidably so as she was there through the whole mess

Fi: What about your family?

Mattie: it would be too upsetting, to think I didn’t know better, and he was always very nice in front of everyone else, doting, even

Fi: deserving of [just namedropping the most horrific medieval torture device possible]

Fi: I’m sorry you had to go through everything he put you through and come out of the other side alone

Mattie: thank you, it’s all okay now

Mattie: and I suppose it was my choice to be alone, I don’t know

Fi: choice is too hard on yourself, he must’ve made you feel like you didn’t have another

Mattie: it was shame, really

Mattie: how we were was my fault because I’d never had a proper partner before so I didn’t know how to be

Mattie: then after, well, it was shaming in another way entirely

Fi: it wasn’t your fault he took advantage of your inexperience and used it to his

Mattie: I know that now, therapists work wonders

Mattie: I promise I didn’t come into teaching entirely unhinged, whatever the kitsch coffee mugs suggest about needing a certain level of insanity to do the job

Fi: you’re the most level-headed person I know

Mattie: you wouldn’t have thought that if you met me at your age, or even the year before you did…

Mattie: people can get a little off track, at Uni, in those in-between years

Fi: had I met you then, if we were the same age, he wouldn’t have lasted long enough to do any lasting damage

Fi: I wouldn’t have allowed it

Mattie: I believe that

Mattie: you’re very strong

Mattie: not physically, though you are, obviously

Fi: stubborn, perhaps

Mattie: that too

Mattie: but strong

Fi: I’m feeling strong waves of regret about any jokes I may have made which aren’t funny in light of what you’ve shared

Mattie: don’t, you weren’t to know

Mattie: no one does, as I said, and I preferred it that way whilst I worked it all out in my head… maybe I’ll change my mind now I feel better but I still don’t think I want to make it some grand proclamation

Mattie: change how people see me, what they think they can say

Fi: all understandable, but I’ll be here kicking myself for a while anyway

Mattie: grr

Fi: no matchmaking, tonight or ever, I refuse to put my 👠 back in it

Mattie: but you have put them back on

Fi: [not you sending her free feet pics of them back off like no no]

Mattie: 🥳 will you be drunk enough to learn more ballet later

Fi: letting you drink alone is as unforgivable as making Doll be sober alone, I wouldn’t dream of either

Mattie: I am a little drunk, it must be said

Fi: I’ll catch up at [wherever they’re going] while you’re 🩰

Mattie: will I get in in what I’m wearing?

Fi: unlike bartenders, I’ve kept fave bouncers everywhere, you’ll Chaseé ? in

Mattie: 👏

Mattie: very good

Fi: you’re a good teacher

Fi: who knew?

Mattie: please pass the message on to all relevant bosses

Fi: sadly the deadline has passed for my Christmas round-robin but I’ll see what I can do if I see any of them in the new year

Mattie: I can only imagine the details you would have included

Fi: I’ll put you on the list again now I know you want to hear from me

Mattie: as if I wouldn’t

Fi: I wasn’t certain, or I’d have reached out

Mattie: now you know 🔮

Fi: Dolly says Lulu’s been keeping you busy in my absence

Mattie: ah yes, that is true

Fi: your protectiveness makes even more sense given what happened to you

Mattie: I’m sure Lulu would think me an absolute fool for it

Fi: she thinks everyone a fool, it’s barely personal at this point

Fi: I’ve never seen someone look at their invited guest, who they chose to bring, and date, with such open disdain

Mattie: 🤭

Mattie: at least it means I don’t have to worry about her being under his spell or anything of the sort

Fi: the reversal, maybe, but I’m not worried for him, he’s visibly old enough to look after himself 🧔🏼

Mattie: he’s [however old he is in comparison, I forget]

Fi: of course, she loves to push a boundary as far as is still considered socially acceptable

Mattie: now now

Mattie: you know he was the only age appropriate boy around

Fi: age appropriate is debatable, just because he can grow a beard doesn’t equate to his emotional maturity being high enough to deal with your sister’s, let’s call it emotional instability

Mattie: let’s not call it anything

Fi: okay, sorry, not cool of me, she’s your sister

Mattie: I know she isn’t the easiest person to relate to

Fi: and we both know I’ve made multiple attempts, but there’s no excuse to be calling her out, she doesn’t have to like me, I’m not Head Girl these days

Mattie: as you said, it isn’t personal

Fi: as I said, I’m sorry 😶

Mattie: you’re fine, I promise

Fi: you don’t want to tell me off is all, you’re too good at it

Mattie: I’m sure you could think up better ways to earn it

Fi: true, if I thought hard, something would absolutely come to me

Mattie: think think think 🤔

Fi: 🍯🐝🎈

Mattie: I love him 🥰

Fi: he’s that sort of bear, how could you not

Mattie: You’re very tigger

Fi: eventually you’re gonna have to admit defeat on me not having adhd

Mattie: omg stop it! 😆

Mattie: it sounds like I make a commission on Adderall

Fi: you’ve shared one secret, go ahead, unburden yourself of your others

Mattie: how dare you accuse me of being a pill pusher

Mattie: I don’t even take aspirin unless the headache is very, very bad, I’ll have you know

Fi: you stop it, you’re adorable

Mattie: you’re bouncy, there should be a bouncy ball emoji, is there

Mattie: there are too many to look through these days 👩‍🦳

Fi: you’re tipsy, that’s why there’s too many to look through

Mattie: no, I’m old, maybe I need glasses, you can help me find a chic pair

Fi: you’re 22

Mattie: and you’re 19

Fi: you look the same age as me

Mattie: how was your birthday?

Fi: I don’t know, different, good and bad

Mattie: did you get a cake?

Fi: [show her the pics because really not long ago so not hard to scroll to and find, clearly not a patch on anything this gal has ever baked for you though]

Fi: I missed it not being from you 👩‍🍳

Mattie: I made so many mince pies before hols 😮‍💨

Mattie: I didn’t do stars on top though

Fi: I see what you’re doing, making me cry because you’re not my form tutor, it’s unacceptable nevertheless

Mattie: no don’t cry it’s because I’d cry if I did

Fi: I know that, it’s why I have to

Mattie: your makeup will be ruined

Fi: but I’ll be in the right place to re-do it, when I can stop 😭

Mattie: are you alone?

Fi: hopefully, or whoever’s in here with me will assume I’m very drunk and a wreck

Mattie: that can be me, if you want

Fi: I always want you around

Mattie: it would’ve been rude to not check, what with the 😭

Fi: you’ve seen it before, my last day I was an actual wreck, and in floods

Mattie: not because of me

Mattie: [the bad teacher] should be every bit ashamed as I think she is now

Fi: it isn’t really your fault

Mattie: [come in because how long does it really need to take you to get here, not long, bathroom doors are always loud so our ‘a little bit, maybe’ shouldn’t frighten you to death lol]

Fi: [‘I’m only crying a little bit’ as this girl wipes her eyes like oh hello to you, don’t mind me here actually crying because of all my feelings]

Mattie: [when she has wiped her eyes, come forward and grab her hand and give it a squeeze ‘it’s okay’ doing a little lol ‘what’s a party if no one cries, eh?’]

Fi: [doing your own little lol ‘it’s not my party’ like how ridiculous and hilarious that I’m the one crying ‘though, lord knows I would were I getting married off’ because no thank you, sounds like Noah shade again and it is lowkey but also just in general because 19]

Mattie: [‘I doubt we’ll catch the bride to be’ and pulling a face because that is clearly not who Jay is at all ‘so take your fill’ like it’s going free honey, pulling an equally GOD NO face and then loling some more because same on both counts tbh]

Fi: [catching a look at herself in the mirror and pulling her own face like ugh why me though because didn’t wanna be here doing this but we are, crying a lil bit more about the fact like great I’m this bitch now love that for me, but also loling at her GOD NO face]

Mattie: [giving her a hug because you want to but also so she doesn’t feel like you’re gawping at her whilst she cries ‘I cry all the time’ like tis true, not saying this like I’m a depressed bitch vibe we’re just an emotional sort of bean]

Fi: [‘I usually don’t but I-’ again stopping yourself saying whatever gay thing you were going to say, despite the fact this hug couldn’t be more gay how you’re returning it]

Mattie: [‘you’re stuck at a terrible party because you’re a good person?’ not us admitting how hard it sucks lol]

Fi: [shaking her head ‘I’ve honestly been to parties which ranked higher on the scale towards complete bust, you don’t need to feel like a bad sister’ because true, you definitely have, for many reasons, and also that isn’t why you’re crying and we all know it]

Mattie: [sighing like thanks but ‘I almost always do anyway’ the work you put in for the lack of pay-off, soz girly]

Fi: [‘oh Mattie’ hugging her tighter because what can you say, we all know it isn’t her fault but you don’t wanna shade her sisters again like you did earlier ‘you’re an amazing sister’ because you’ve seen it with your own eyes how hard she tries always]

Mattie: [just hug it out gals like this isn’t risky business or anything ‘you smell nice’ and sniffing the top of her head and then her neck to see if it’s more shampoo or perfume]

Fi: [gonna say it’s perfume because what else are you bringing in that big red bag, plus then you can get it out and spray it on her, how intimate and how gay, plus sniff her back because perfume smells different on different people, so you can also comment on that somehow, like oh it smells more like such and such on you vibes]

Mattie: [just doing the little twirl you do through a perfume cloud and then hugging said scent to yourself so you can fully breathe it in casually before turning back to her like now, come here, gently cleaning up any makeup that had been smudged]

Fi: [when you’d be so used to other girls doing your makeup because boarding school but it’s her so you’re just here DYING inside casually, opening your mouth to say something, but either you don’t know what to say or you’re scared of ruining this moment, so you just breathe, lowkey a sigh]

Mattie: [meanwhile we’re here not daring to breathe because so into being this intimate with you we’re afraid what we might do if we make any sort of sudden move, yet we’re still touching your lips like your lipstick needs patting into place when I doubt it’s gone that awry]

Fi: [feeling for said lipstick and handing it to her without looking down because likewise barely dare or want to move but do want to linger in this moment by letting her reapply it for us unnecessarily]

Mattie: [putting it on our lips first, without looking away from her to look in the mirror, slowly circling the entirety of both lips, slowly, pouting them out for the full effect, before gently tilting her head up towards the light to apply hers ‘so pretty’ just under our breath, casually as if it remotely is]

Fi: [thank god there is nobody in here because she’s STARING at this scene like Mattie is doing something pornographic, could not be more into it, catch this girl with her lips parted way before she even needs to do it for her own lipstick application purposes, it’s just the affect this is having on her nbd, likewise catch her blushing when she has no choice but to hear that because proximity]

Mattie: [when her reaction has you wanting to push this desperately, to do more and show her more, gently using your bodyweight to push her up onto the counter of this sink moment, as if you need her sat to do this properly ‘prettiest girl’ at the same volume but your voice is shamelessly hoarser, really doing the most you can with said lipstick to push her lips apart how you want to]

Fi: [it’s the sigh hitting completely different now for me, because DUH, not okay about any of this in the best way, literally having to bite her lip so it doesn’t turn into an even more blatant sound all together and also to give her more work to do, because again simply must prolong this]

Mattie: [without thinking, smearing this lipstick across her mouth with your fingers when she bites her lip ‘bad girl’ like she ruined it that hard but really you just wanted to and now you have even more work to do when you can concentrate]

Fi: [pressing her back so hard against the wall in a way that would have to be obvious but if she doesn’t she’ll move forward and do something even more BLATANT at what this gal just said because !! this feels like a fantasy you’ve had but you know it’s really happening because you’re not even tipsy yet, at least you can pretend you’re doing some etiquette style good girl posture to try and make this easier for her and your amends, including crossing her ankles like a lady sits, again not at all because you’re dying, nope]

Mattie: [putting the cap on this lipstick with a satisfying click because not in the mood to fix this or anything currently, folding our arms and taking a step back like we’re appraising you but obviously we’ve had similar fantasies and are taking this moment in for all its worth, taking hold of your knees and yanking your legs apart unceremoniously, which is FINE because you’re wearing trousers, standing closer to you again in the gap we’ve just created]

Fi: [getting her name out of our mouth like she did earlier before they were rudely interrupted by someone but x 100000 with how her voice obvs sounds about this, but having to close her eyes when this gal is in this close proximity to us again because CANNOT cope actually]

Mattie: [doing a little gasp at hearing your name said like that, by her, playing with the necklaces she has on, pulling them tighter and looser ‘round the back of her neck, whilst in her ear but closer than we ever were out in the party ‘tell me, Fi’]

Fi: [when you literally have goosebumps from her gasp before she’s even touched you, nbd, and are literally trying to disappear into this wall when she does so as not to make any dramatic moves ‘I can’t’ her voice catching before and as she says this, like excuse me I literally cannot, doing the most dramatic swallow as if that’ll fix how impossible speaking is]

Mattie: [tracing your finger across the goosebumps on display which is really just her neck and slightly down her chest ‘okay’ really quietly and after quite a while of doing this, creating goosebumps on goosebumps, I’m sure, before gently pulling her down via your hands around her waist and then letting her go, opening the lipstick again to rub away the mess you made and reapply, yet again]

Fi: [looking at her the most 🥺 anyone ever has while all this is occurring, lowkey trembling with the !! of not reacting any other way, until she accidentally licks her lips during this lipstick reapplication, soz and the ‘fuck’ escapes like oh no, in such a !! manner ‘excuse my language, miss’ in trying to be a bants way but this moment is too charged for that to land anything other than flirty af]

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lilmh · 2 years

Text

week four

lilmh

wowww, folks. it’s week four already, i can’t believe it! things are picking up. i’m making routines and making friends. and, most importantly, being mindful of my goals.

(also the spelling error in the above pic is on purpose… it’s a joke hehe)

progress of fall 2022 semester goals:

• prioritizing mental health and and over-all wellbeing

i need to actually start going to counseling, just haven’t made that initial call, yet. that’s a must. i’ve been consistently moving my body… taking cycling classes has become a fun new part of my routine. also, i’ve been journaling lately which i’m loving. it is a great stress reliever for me. a way to organize my thoughts. or, go on a long random tangent. it’s definitely become a part of my morning routine.

• daily thesis dedication

this has been a hard one, ngl. i just have sooo much reading everyday that i have no energy to read more. i should make it a morning thing.

• make to-do lists

this has been sporadic, but i do use my planner daily. this week, I have planned out my day hour by hour. it’s okay if i don’t stick to it exactly, i just want to visualize how i spend my time. hopefully, this will make me less likely to procrastinate. we shall see.

• keep apartment tidy

it’s going well. one reason living alone sucks is because you have to clean up after yourself. dishes are like never ending. i’m making my bed every morning… it just looks so nice.

• participate it in class

i have been. at least once per class. slowly, but surely, my aversion to voicing my own opinion is lessening. kind of unexpected so soon. I had a moment today where i was speaking about catharsis as a possible benefit of participation in qualitative research. my mind cleared and i just spoke freely. i couldn’t believe it.

• make friends

i am!! so proud of myself! my cohort is sooo fun! and the 2nd year cohort has some very cool and smart peeps in it. i made a friend at the farmer’s market on sundays. our energies just flow together. very excited for the development of future friendships :)

• reading for fun is non-negotiable

your girl has been readinnnnnng. ngl, i ordered a bunch of adult fantasy romance books (and one academic romance) that i am very excited to dive into. and, i’m also simultaneously reading a non-fiction book about body image resilience and body positivity (thesis things). very good stuff.

accomplished today:

• reviewed the lab task i’m ta-ing

• started reading an article about a predictive framework for body image resilience

• finished thematic analysis textbook for qualitative methods class

• read for fun

• talked to a professor about making a meeting to discuss potential thesis ideas

• did an ab workout in the morning

i’m on my period, so feeling verrrry sleepy. slightly overwhelmed, but also happy with myself and how i’m doing so far. oooof, self-reflection is a form of catharsis. currently watching Netflix to decompress. listening to my body has been something i’ve been prioritizing.

in sum, it’s been fun.

p.s. i really miss my doggy. my girl.

currently reading:

duel with the vampire lord by elise kova

more than a body by lindsey kite and lexie kite

#gradblr #gradschool #study inspo #study motivation #grad school #studyblr #wellness #academia aesthetic #reading

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heyitssashag · 1 year

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I’m not sure why I chose to post this quote. I just liked it. 😬

I need an adventure. When I say “adventure” I mean that in the loosest way possible. I’m thinking something that is about 3 levels below “excitement”. Otherwise, it all feels like pressure. There’s a fine line between adventure and pressure… and that line is stress. Sasha doesn’t want anything that even comes close to stress. Notice how I had to underscore this by writing in the third person?

I used to have a lot more energy and spontaneity in me. Having fun was important. Still is. I think that’s all I’m looking for. Some fun. I was looking at my “on this day” memories and found a few pics of me going up the Snowshoe Grind at Grouse Mountain. That was definitely a lot of fun.

I believe these were taken 📸 my first time snowshoeing here 11 years ago. Loved it. Over the years, I went back many times.

There’s no snow where I am now which is fine by me. Not interested in that (the snow makes my bones hurt more). However, I wouldn’t mind maybe hiking up a mountain. I don’t need to hike up a mountain to have fun, though. Maybe just a little, easy hike somewhere new.

I suppose I’m just thinking “out loud” here with ideas. I need to actually start entering them into the calendar, though. Ideas are nice but action is needed more. I don’t need a lot of action but a little would be pleasant. (That’s what she said. 😂)

I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I have so many ideas but finding the time to do them has become hard. Lately, I’ve had appointments every day. If I finally have a day free, I’m catching up on errands, chores or paperwork… or I’m just being a sloth because my brain and body need the downtime. I feel like my life is bogged down with the mundane and I’m becoming melancholy. Maybe I just need something to look forward to. I’m going to buy tickets to an event. Ya. That’s a good idea. Not sure what type of event - I’ll keep you posted. I’m sure you’re all waiting with bated breath. 😂

This is the beauty of a “brain dumping” blog - I can work out my crap. Albeit, publicly, which isn’t ideal but whatever. It keeps me accountable.

I’m going to take a workshop. Nothing where I have to go weekly because I’m not interested in any commitments. Just a one day class on learning a “thing”. That would be something else I could look forward to.

I started my life goals workbook for this year and I haven’t finished it yet. I’m going to work through that and see what else pops up for me.

As a loose guide, I have some goals for this year but they’re not set in stone.

1.) Run more. Do a few races. Walking is okay, too. Just stay active as possible. Hike a trail. Do more weight training. Follow the plans from the exercise therapist and Physio.

2.) Eat healthfully. Experiment with recipes. Eat at home. Cook with Ella. Look for unique things to make.

3.) Do artsy stuff. Draw. Paint. Craft. Take and print photos. Lately, I’ve been wanting to do more doodling or cartooning with storylines.

4.) Stop being a hermit. Go to a show. A movie. Concert. Workshop. Trade show. Art gallery. Museum. Anything that gets me out of the house and my brain working.

5.) Spend as much time with family and friends as possible. Take photos when I can - even if it’s over Zoom. Try to arrange to see in person if schedules allow.

6.) #1 thing I want to work on this year is to: Release the past. Once and for all. Purge the old and set it free. The only way I know how to do this (aside from some intense therapy) is to just keep writing. I plan to write my memoirs which will be really hard because I also don’t want to relive it… but sometimes we have to in order to finally let go and feel better. This is going to be challenging but I plan to start this week and work on it daily. That may seem excessive but I have a lot to work through. Like, a lot. I’ve got so much baggage, there’s no room for me on the plane.

7.) Learn to go to fucking go to bed earlier. I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I actually fell asleep reading my book 2 hours ago but I woke up to go pee then I laid here for an hour and just decided to start writing my usual, glorious nonsense, again.

So that’s, that. It’s 12:15am and I’m starting to go cross eyed. Off to bed I’m going for one last pee. (I must be delirious because I’m now talking like Yoda.) So here’s another random gif for your pleasure. Gotta love sleeping kitties. 💕⬇️

#metastatic breast cancer #stageivbreastcancer #inspiration #running #health & fitness #wellness #mental health #life goals #2023 goals #writing goals

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foxgloveinspace · 2 days

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the fanbinderrrrrr :D

i was into bookbinding like. ten years ago and i made a few scrappy journals with stuff i had laying around the house but i want to try again now that i have the means to buy materials. only thing is when it comes to physical crafts, im a HORRIBLE perfectionist this is literally the worst hobby for me to pick up again

anyways i want to make floppy paperback fanbinds c:

Hi there!!!! I haven’t been ignoring your ask, I just have been super low energy oof, sorry about that 🙇

I only got into book binding cause a video got recommended to me, and while I was watching I thought about the possibility of fanbinding. It wasn't until later that I learned there's a whole fanbinding culture! I love how it can range from just printing off a fic and putting it in page protectors in a school binder, to making them look like pieces of art/epic fantasy tomes!

I too am a perfectionist when it comes to my hobbies, so I totally get that. My advice for this, if you'd like it, is to stick with one style of binding until you feel super comfy with it, and also measure like 8 times lol.

I am only Kinda Good at making hard backs ( I have, like 2 I am proud of truly), and while I have made paperbacks, I can never get mine floppy. I think it takes using the double leaf loose leaf binding (links to youtube videos about it if you haven't looked into it already), to make floppy paperbacks, and not printer-paper signatures like I do lol. (would love to use some other kinds of paper, but it's so expensive, and printer paper from walmart is so cheap, and always there for me lmao).

My favorite thing to do, is to make a text block, and then instead of putting a cover over the spine, I leave the spine open! as seen in the pics bellow, it lays completely flat no matter where you are in the book!! I also think it looks really cool.

I then make a cover by taking a piece of card stock I cut to the size of the text block, and I fold some pretty paper around it and glue it to the end pages to make a cover that's a little more sturdy then just blank end pages (I am also in the minority cause I sew my end pages to my textblock when I'm making it instead of gluing them in. It feels more sturdy to me that way). i think a goal of mine is to eventually figure out how to make a 'real' cover for some fics, cause some deserve covers that are made for them, and not just pretty paper from the scrapbook/paper craft store that I think fits the vibes lol. I don't get fancy with it tho, cause it's for my personal library.

if you go for it and make floppy paperbacks, I hope it goes so well!! fanbinding is so fun, and I highly encourage you to give it a try <3 <3 <3

#hihi!!!#alwayskote #readmore cause it got long lol. sorry about how info dump/drain-y I got!!#*xbox achievement sound* you've unlocked 'Made Foxglove Info Dump About A Random Interest You Both Share' lmao #sorry if this is like.... the exact opposite of what you wanted from an ask for me lmao.

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commenter2 · 3 months

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Alpha Betas episode ideas

In my last pic I talked about how I believe the Alpha Betas web series should be given another chance as it had the potential of being a good series but was the victim of bad timing.

I’m happy to say that it was recently brought to my attention that a while ago the VA for Mason (who is also a director and producer of the show) stated that there has been talks about doing stuff with the show, so there is some hope it could return one day! Until then I’m going to help spread the word about the series by making content about it.

I thought I start by making a list of ideas for episodes the series could have if it ever returns. Spoilers ahead for those who haven’t watched the first season yet, but luckily all the episodes are available to view on YouTube so I recommend checking them out.

Rated E for Eat S#$@- Alpha Team has to deal with a problem in a family friendly kids game, which they hate as it’s really simple and boring to them. Mason (the weapons expert) takes it the worse since he can’t use guns in it, while the others are able to at least use their talents to a degree, which Buck makes fun of Mason for. It would be interesting to see him try to prove to the others that he is more than the weapon’s guy.

Alpha Bravo Tango- Before it was written out, it sounded like there was going to be a plotline where Alpha Team would have to secretly deal with another team of gamers called Bravo Team. Now at the beginning of episode 2 Allision made it sound like they were among the other dead teams, but I could see a few ways to bring the original Bravo Team back, one simple way is that they really messed up on a job and were fired before the main story of season 1. I’d also be okay with an entire new team but still.

Either way Bravo Team’s main goal in the series is to aid Alpha Team during bigger missions, and to prove to Allison that they are better than Alpha Team and deserve to replace them.

I could see this leading to a 2-episode story where a multiplayer only game is acting up, so both Alpha and Beta Team are sent in to fix the problem, but because the teams dislike each other they mess up the simple task, and now have to actually work together in order to save the day.

Gamer girl, I mean woman, I mean female- The title is based on a joke from the pilot.

One of the team members is sick and because she is knowledgeable about the game causing trouble and Bravo Team is busy with something else, Ruby (the lady who runs the equipment that sends Alpha Team into games, and who Eddie has a crush on) has to go into the game to help.

It would be interesting to see Ruby fighting alongside Alpha Team instead of just giving them support/commentary. Maybe as a result of her adventure she will get a slight understanding on why they act the way they do; she still thinks they are immature idiots but oddly respects them a bit more. I also see such an episode being filled with jokes about gamers girls and about what guys think gamer girls are like, but I mostly could see some ship moments happening between her and Eddie.

Alpha Red vs. Omega Blue- Continuing the idea of Ruby being a gamer, I could see her befriending several other gamer girls and forming a gaming squad called Omega that becomes popular online. Unknown to Ruby, these girls are saboteurs/anarchist and are trying to take down parts of the U.S. energy grid for reasons which leads to a confrontation with Alpha Team.

I could see this being a continuing storyline in the series as we see Ruby slowly realize what is going on.

Government mandated gaming tournament- In the pilot it was implied that other parts of the world power their countries via video games and occasionally they would attack another countries’ systems. What if secretly, governments from the around the world partake in video game tournaments as a way to settle certain problems without actual bloodshed and this time Alpha Team is being sent to participate.

Console War 3- The next generation of consoles are coming out and one hacker obsessed with a certain console series is determined to make his console the best, so he causes chaos through a popular FPS game about World War 3 in hopes people will switch consoles. Of course this would be bad for energy grids around the world so Alpha Team deals with this, but they soon start to argue about which of the upcoming consoles is better, districting them from completing the mission.

Grand Tommy Auto- While Tommy is an expert in controlling vehicles in video games, he canonically can’t actually drive them in real life. That sucks for him as his gear gets damaged before a mission, and now has to use devices based on the mechanics of a real car to control a vehicle needed to save the day. Will Tommy learn how to properly drive to save the day, or will his friends and part of the world be doomed?

Punk Spunc- After a mission, a virus infects Spunc, Alpha Teams AI buddy, causing him to act up and go rouge. Alpha Team has to find a way to cure Spunc before Steven (who hates Spunc) destroys him.

Body swap like episode- Since Alpha Team uses unique machinery to enter video games, there obviously needs to be such an episode. I could see this happening during a mission where they are permanently locked in as a certain class/character from the game that they personally specialize in. Something happens in the real world that messes with the machinery which somehow causes Alpha Team to switch bodies in the game, and now they have to learn how to handle using their new classes before it is too late.

Freemiumdeddon- Alpha Team has to deal with a freemium game on the fritz, but this becomes a personal mission of vengeance for Buck. He once was addicted to a freemium game and it almost ruined his life so while facing the problem with the others, he secretly tries to destroy the game and prevent others from suffering what he went through, which could just be as dangerous. They should have the freemium game be a Sea of Thieves/Skull & Bones parody just so they have the excuse to have Buck go all Captain Ahab XD.

Gaming Community vs. T.B.A.G.- With Alpha Betas being a M rated series about video games, there would totally be jokes about tea-bagging in it, but I had a different idea related to it.

Not all threats to the Energy Division are from video games on the fritz or hackers, as I could see Alpha Team and the other members of the Energy Division having to deal with an organization in the real world called T.B.A.G. “Tough Beings Against Games”, whose goal is to ban all video games.

I could see having such an enemy have moments throughout the series that foreshadow that the group is not what it seems, but more on that later.

Dating Reality or Dating Simpulator- Steven falls for an NPC from a videogame that was discontinued and destroyed for being too buggy, but he saves her before she got deleted for good and puts her in a female robot body. The NPC has trouble getting use to the real world and, of course, goes on a rampage causing the others to try and stop her. I say at the end some of the characters are able to save the NPC and she and Steven are able to stay together, as Steven does deserve some happiness. Either that or she becomes attracted to Spunc, making Steven made, which is admittedly kind of funny XD. Maybe that last thing could be an alternate ending.

Eddie’s Game- This would be a multi episode story that would also count as the series finale, as I could see Alpha Betas having 2-3 more seasons if it ever comes back, which I’d be okay with.

For those who haven’t seen the pilot or the first season there are aliens in the series, and (major spoilers for the season 1 finale) the wife (named Lisa) of the evil alien Alpha Team killed was able to escape from Area 51 thanks Alpha Team freeing her for fun. I could see Lisa wanting revenge and plans on destroying Earth for killing her husband and keeping her locked up for so long.

I would make it so it was revealed that since she couldn’t attack directly at first, Lisa had to recruit others to help her. Here we find out she was the true leader of T.B.A.G. and used the organization to weaken the world enough for her forces to attack, and that one of the members of Omega was working for her. Apparently Lisa and her husband had daughters so maybe said Omega member was one of them in disguised.

However again gamers are the answer to saving the day as governments of the world have made war machines that can be controlled by gamers like jets/spaceships, boats, and maybe a parody of that mech from Overwatch. With this and a lot of previous character working together, they combat the aliens with Eddie being the leader as he develops a grudge towards Lisa during the story. I also could see a joke where Lisa’s other daughter appears out of nowhere wanting to help the humans stop her revenge obsessed mom and sister and shows them a weakness to her mom’s fleet, resulting in the others making a semi 4th wall breaking joke where they point out how convenient all of this is.

Of course they defeat the fleet and Lisa, but Eddie and a few other characters spare Lisa and just tells her and her daughters to leave and never return, as they know this isn’t a game. The series wraps up with the world now knowing video games power the world (angering gamers for doing it for free) so the world decide to look for alternate means for energy. Alpha Team is disbanded but unlike last time, Eddie is okay with it especially since at this point he and Ruby have gotten together. The guys still manage to hang out through games and I could see Steven hanging out with them too.

Maybe there could be an alternate ending to the finale where Eddie kills Lisa and we see a slightly different epilogue, referencing games that have multiple different endings.

If I could come up with all of these ideas, imagine what could happen with a full team of writers working on the show. I really hope it will come back one day and if you think so too, then favorite Alpha Betas content like this and help spread the word.

What kind of stories could you see happening in Alpha Betas if it was to return?

#alpha betas #youtube

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imkalla · 5 months

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Hello gorgeus people

i’m popping here just to say that i finally started doing my study work.

*applause*

The winter break was very intense for me, a lot of inner child healing and cleansing. I was so busy with all that processing i hadn’t had much energy for everything else.

I love getting more and more self aware. It helps with so much stuff. I discovered so much about me and my ancestors. I’m working to make my life so so so much better and i’m so grateful.

All in all, i really neglected my study work. For good reasons - yeah - but it needs to be done on time and i really don’t like stressing. I’m aware i started late but i’ve got determination and want to make a lot in a short time. The quality might be downgraded but -hey, it’s gonna be done, isn’t it?

Today i started doing one of my biology work, which is a herbarium. Here’s a pic.

I also listened to this beautiful song whilst working on the herbarium. If you haven’t already, check it out!

As you can see my stuff is all lied out on the floor. I think it’s gonna take me only 2 more hours to finish. Which i’ll do when i wake up as i’m currently heading to sleep.

(it’s really late i‘m not gonna lie around 4 am)

I have only 3 days to finish my tasks and leave the town for studies again. I’ll miss it. But i also want to point out that i was a lot more organised when i was living on my own. So, there’s that.

Anyway, i hope you have a beautiful day and do your duolingo streak.

Kisses xx

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sirensav · 9 months

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I think this is going to be my ED diary. I’m not new here. I feel very old being here. The OG ED tumblr days is my time. I lived here. My accounts, multiple accounts, have gotten deactivated bc of it but it was a great community as well as toxic. I have met a really good friend on here. Definitely was here 12 years ago. I’m still here. I haven’t really been on here in a while tho. That’s okay. When I was my smallest I wasn’t even on tumblr. I was goals. I was the girl in the thinso or bonespo pics. I could have gotten lower. My lowest was 95lbs and I’m 5’1. It was hard getting there but I’m determined. It’s weird being out of it for a while bc this was my life. And now I’m in a very lost place in life. I feel like this will help me in a sense to get my life back together. Im cleaner when I restrict, my self care is higher on the list. The only thing now is that I have no energy to do anything. I could be cycling rn and burning calories but im just laying down like the fat cow I am. Although I have been getting so many compliments recently on my figure. I love the attention. Keep it coming, however I need to fit into this dress. I’ll do whatever it takes to fit into the dress. I can eat one meal a day every other day. If im feeling starved I can have a cucumber sandwich or a salad. We will see bc im weak when it comes to eating. I feel like this past week I have been getting better. Luckily now I don’t feel hungry at work anymore. It’s just the evening time I need to work on. I haven’t eaten anything all day so im hoping I can go on until tomorrow. I should deff start intermitten fasting again. That would help a lot but also if im not eating I deff will want some flavor in my life like lattes. Maybe I’ll get so into it again I won’t be able to have milky coffees. That’s how I originally started, I only had coffee with soy milk and sweetener. That was my meal. Well I had a lot of pitta bread and hummus. If I can make it to tomorrow without eating, it will be the beginning of a beautiful journey. I should exercise but I’m so exhausted all the time and if I’m going to be exhausted all the time I should at least look good doing it. I want to look so good in the dress. Maybe if I watch euphoria it will help me. Or an Ana movie again. Exercise the whole movie. I also need a distraction. I have done some not great things recently and idk how to process it. I don’t even know if I can say it here but heck it bc who is going to see this? Idk this doesn’t seem like a good idea. Im not gonna say anything. Ugh but it’s crazy. It defiantly feels like main character energy. Maybe not. I just can’t believe I may have ruined someone’s life. Someone I really care about. They knew tho. They took the risk.

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