#again I can be fan of many different ideas if it's presented an interesting way & even if it's not my thing I will always try to respect it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fantomette22 · 22 days

Note

(For Bloodborne)

10, 16, and 18?? 💀

I answered 10 here ! As for the rest it is quite long so putting it under there. Hope you ready 😅

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Hm... wait I need to remember all the things I don't appreciate... and try not to make ennemies 😓 (it's really not my goal it's just personal preference mostly. Seriously depending how things are explained and presented there's lot a thing I can actually enjoy! While I would dislike when it's just throw and spam without context.)

Hm well you know as for characterisations when it's reduced to like 2 traits or extreme good / extreme bad it's hm... yeah. I mean I know I ain't a good exemple but I barely share dark headcanons 😓 but they do exist hehe.

Of course absolutely don't mind and love silly shenanigans (when you're hanging with your friends and having fun it's not always very serious) and also more dark and matures ideas. When people share it doesn't mean it's all they think to the characters! Gotta take the all picture!

But it does bother me when people believe in almost caricatural interprets like it's canon and talk down on others with different views. Somehow like they are the worst thing...like wtf.

Also well typical extreme talk about Gehrman, Maria and mostly Laurence I suppose (maybe a bit Lulu aka the holy blade but it bother me a bit less because people are generally not spamming to or being annoying as much as the others. Oh Micolash too). When people reduced them to just 2 things or an extreme. I feel it really doesn't fit with the infos within the game. I'm not a fan at all. They are all morally grey and humans. They are not clearly all black or all white. they are morally gray, they are humans!

In more details now. Well for Gehrman you know my stance already. Clearly yeah he had some issues in his life and did bad things but clearly I don't think he was a misogynistic asshole and all the stuff. Like it just don't make sense to me. I don't even wanna vent about it today XD

As for Maria well. Look I don't have a problem with the headcanon of her being a butch lesbian. I mean it's even one of my AU actually. (to put it really really simply. Bc I like having several interprets disconnect to each other in their own settings). It can be very interesting in an overall big story I think. The problem I have is when it's apparently her only unique traits and if you think or headcanon otherwise for any reasons you are apparently the worst shit to exist and getting block. Being labelled as sexist, homophobic etc. Well idk but that kind of reaction kinda tell me who the real -phobic one is 😕 really that is sad like wow who hurt you people?! to have this much anger to people just trying to have fun. Thankfully it's clearly just a minority of people who are agressive like this. And I hope they will grow, gain maturity and realise there's really no need to be that mean about such a thing. But it's been a while saw smt like this so I prefer to put this behind me there's hope.

As for Laurence I'm not really a fan of him being the ultimate bitch devil (or angel but nobody has that take almost. That would be a change. the tragic vicar who only had good intention but accidentally fucked up and try his best until the end😔 I mean I don't agree with that either but that's a change). I mean by this, that I think he did both. Good and bad things. That he had honorable intentions at first but overcome by a bit of ego and pride he fucked up really bad. And then realised his mistake but it was too late to correct it... his theme inspire great strength but who end in tragedy and pity. So overall tragic these too. Him being depicted as just a smug unlikable bitch is something I have a hard time with. I mean yes I like to imagine him being a smug bitch too at times for sure! it's fun but not like all the time and making it his entire personality. If that make sense. I don't see how he could be an important religious figure, doctor and having so much support by just being a manipulative ass all the time. Especially if he start from ground 0.

And hm... i have nothing again it and people so that we're clear but hm EXCEPT in certains very specific context* I am not personally a fan of Laurence being drawn with horns on his head. It just isn't my cup of tea. I'm not sure to understand what's the interest don't make sense to have Laurence looking normally human + just horns but it's just me.

*EXCEPT WHEN : symbolism and symbolic art (no prob I like those actually. Horns + when he's burning in human form for exemple onlooking like religious symbolism) ; "decoration" like lil detached horns, like you would put flowers or sparkles or little emoji next to a portrait of a characters ; before he transformed but with other signs of beasthood (actually him human with horns can be nice but I prefer when it's like mini horns not full cleric beast ones + idk a giant arm with claws and fur growing, eyes looking weird, teeth growing, his hair being longer and messy etc).

Now last I will stop after...

I think a whole fic or interprets on a really dark and realistic Bloodborne universe like our world can be super interesting! But I don't enjoy when people seem to think Bloodborne is 100% our 19th century with just a couple of eldritch things in it? Ok it's closer to us compared to medieval fantasy like DS or elden ring. But I feel it's fantasy too. if we had a map I won't be surprise if that's not Europe or a map that existed in real life. Lot of things don't fit to be actual victorian era. It's just inspire by it : invention and technology aren't on the same lvl. Either they are missing important inventions or are too advanced. (Molotovs appeared during spain war and were named like this during WWII) people don't seem to have 10 children working in factories or mines as well. Women are doctors, academic, hunters etc No steam machine or electric bulb but who knows. I could make an entire things... Looking at all the real life inspirations for the game is great! Create a very realistic story is very cool! But I would personally be more on the side that's it's more of a victorian fantasy. Like Sekiro can't be in our world or how Dark souls is a medieval fantasy as well and isn't medieval age accurate.

Oh boi i forgot about victorian london. Jokes are fine but bloodborne is more inspired on Prague and eastern europe i feel. You and Katy developed it more anyway

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Ok I don't know how to answer this so have a list (of ideas in my head I need to share /write one day lmao) :

Maria backstory (no seriously I want stories on her childhood, her family, what happened, how she felt toward them. Conflicted? Good terms but separate ways? Actually work for them for a while? Disowned? I wanna know! If she's actually close to Annalise ? More important in royal family that we know? Or really a random noble related to them?) Is her pyromancer real?! why she dislike blood blades?

How she got her Rakuyo

How she met Gehrman? her training? WHAT HAPPEN I NEED TO KNOW uxkcblkDOLFMBOEAMl: (sorry XD) work for Laurence & co too

Important lore Charcacters backstory before this whole mess (Laurence, Gehrman, Ludwig, Willem etc yeah basically everyone lol I won't do the entire list XD but how did they meet each other what bound them what happen.)

Stories how the healing church + blood transfusion actually came to be?

Byrgenwerth era (yeah sorry I love it XD)

So yeah overall timeline before the hunter arrive (help)

Cainhurst, Annalise, vilebloods, potential KING of Cainhurst

So yeah Logarius too

Loran, Isz and pthumerians lore??

Dores and Gatekeeper my beloved

Caryll (yeah just Caryll)

Izzy and bestial hunters. How the bestial rune was forbidden, why Laurence had it etc

Ok is everyone except 5 persons gonna ignore the fact freaking Gehrman can make more than just weapons?! well wood stuff are oblivious but how did bro can make such refined clothes hello?!?!

Religion practise how it works in Yharnam, how citizens and clerics actually practise it.

What's their history, their legend, how the geopolitic within the country is and others XD (it's more a critic about the game in itself than fandom really) In truth I'm a bit sad we know lot of countries and regions within Dark Souls but almost none with Bloodborne! Like many people are from foreign countries and we have 0 names compared to the dozens in DS. we just have like vaguely Yamamura asiatic country, Eileen's one, Valtr's city, Loran and Isz. As for Gascoigne Gilbert Brador and all the others we don't know anything. In Dark Souls we have names and we know where people came from : Catarina, Astora, Forossa, Mirrah, Carim, Vinheim, Lordran etc)

Event being seen by random citizens or young characters growing up could be interesting!

I mean many characters again

I might stop here or it will never be over sorry... I'm not even sure it's really slept one but I wish we have more. There's just so many possibilities and things that can be created!

#my asks #ask game #couldn't talk about everything but I think it's enough for today #again I can be fan of many different ideas if it's presented an interesting way & even if it's not my thing I will always try to respect it #I just don't like when people disrespect others for their take when nothing contradict it #I'm sorry if that make no sense Crow it's late I write this since so long with what passing in my head #sorry it was post at 1am

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 months

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Hello! I am SO hyperfixated on the fact that the overblot form CAN be controlled??? That’s the case with Malleus isn’t it? And I guess on one hand I can see how Idia can control it too because of his “curse/blessing” (and sheer will and spite).

Maybe this is foreshadowing that maybe it’s possible for the other OB boys to do so as well???? I don’t know how it’ll work with them but I’m so excited. Overblot cards potential AAAH

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!

[Referencing this post!}

Yeah, I definitely think that OB Idia battle segment opens the floodgates for potential SSR Overblot Troublemaker(s) cards 💀 (RIP to the OB gang fans)

As a refresher for everyone (since it has been a while), alllllll the way back in book 1, Crowley and Cater describe “overblot” as thus: “[… being] overcome by negative energy and[…] losing control of [one’s] magic and emotions,” and “evil berserk mode”.

We’ve seen many examples of these traits in the main story campaign; oftentimes, the OB boy in question is impossible to reason with and has to be subdued via battle. However, it’s important to note that while the OBs may be primarily driven by their emotions, it is not purely rage but rather negative feelings in general. Yes, many OBs (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Vil, etc.) do attack others—but other OBs demonstrate moments of calm (ie when their demands are met). For example, Jamil is tame when he believes he has banished Kalim, secured hypnotized Scarabia mobs, and reigns over the dorm as its new leader. I do believe anger is still a large component of the behavior of one who has overblotted though; that rage most certainly clouds a person’s judgment and compels them to strike out at the slightest thing.

Now, about the idea of “controlling” OBs… I don’t that that can actually be done?? We have to remember that Malleus is a VERY powerful mage—and this alone could give him an “edge” that others don’t when it comes to being fully aware while in OB (though I believe both Malleus and Vil indicate early on they notice their blot building). As Idia’s dad states, Malleus is drawing his magic from nature itself and therefore has a limitless supply it. Secondly, I wouldn’t call Malleus’s OB “controlling” it to begin with. It’s clear that he’s still running high on emotions and is unwilling to hear others out or have them interfere with his plans. These are still traits associated with OB; it’s not as though Malleus is “overriding” the unreasonable thoughts, he is still ruled by them and acts on them. I think what you (maybe?) mean is that Malleus has a much more calculating approach and more precise control over how he wields his power rather than indiscriminately smashing stuff in his path. This, again, could do with his insane power level compared to his peers. Unlike most other OBs, his goal (at least in his own framing) before he overblotted to begin with wasn’t to “take away”, but rather to “gift” happy endings to everyone. This sets him apart just based on interests alone, and that’s perhaps why he acts the most different in the lot.

Now let’s consider the circumstances under which Idia OBs a second time: it’s in a dream, meaning it’s questionable whether or not this would transfer over to real life. Because it’s Idia’s dream, he has more autonomy in it, particularly because he is now “awake”/conscious of the fact that it is a dream. Secondly, Idia bears the Shroud family’s curse/blessing, which allows him to “power up” the more blot is present, as it serves as fuel for his magic. This alone makes him a “special case” which could explain the unusual amount of control he exerts over his OB form. (Again though, I’d wager it’s mostly the dream environment.)

I do see maybe the other OB boys doing a similar “oh, lemme OB to help you guys fight” in a dream situation where there are fewer limits on what they can do, but not in a real world setting. It would put them all at risk anyway, as they lack Idia’s curse/blessing or Malleus’s fae powers. Is that worth the risk, knowing they could all die or potentially turn on their classmates?

I just don’t see OB becoming a “tool” or a magical girl transformation the characters could pull out for combat purposes in the story (though this is possible for like the gameplay outside of the story). I highly doubt OB is like something you could train yourself to control; it’s less like bulking up at the gym and more like pushing yourself to keep exercising while you’re high on adrenaline… Sooner or later, you’d burn out and injure yourself in that overexertion.

If there ever are OB cards, I can easily see them as being the type that don’t come with vignettes because… what reasonable story could you conjure up to explain the OBing again? If there are vignettes, then they most likely won’t fit into the main story canon. You’d have to frame the OB cards as “within the moment” of whatever book they OB’d in, and perhaps go more in-depth about the trauma or something along those lines.

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notiddygxthgf · 7 months

Text

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★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case.

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal.

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out.

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left.

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…”

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts.

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand.

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’.

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru.

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it.

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine.

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday.

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me.

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver.

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear.

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart.

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails.

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination.

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too.

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look.

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something.

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay.

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock.

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes.

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day.

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”

[End of Transcription]

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow.

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you.

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you.

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

[End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}]

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul.

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away.

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @missphanosaur18 , @bontensbabygirl, @megumissunshine, @chocoyanchan, @littlelovebug98, @lucisimpongod, @xochyw, @jaegerstan222 , @electro-supremacy, @mellytheteddy, @clover0310 , @soraya-daydreams, @priussy, @insanehumantinker, @staygoldsquatchling02, @nonksity, @hinata7346, @chososwhoresblog, @mindurownbussines , @hearts4sid , @simplefools , @ynjimenez

wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index

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hedgehog-moss · 2 years

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what are your favorite books in terms of prose? curious after you wrote about how many modern writers lack a sense for good writing, which i’ve also felt for years. so who do you think writes especially beautifully :-)

(Warning: long post ahead pondering what is perceived as beautiful prose in English vs French!)

The first books that came to my mind are the ones listed below, and it got me wondering why they were all by French authors, when I read a lot in other languages. I think even if you can read foreign literature fluently, it’s easier to detect & appreciate beautiful prose in your mother tongue, not just because you know it so intimately (so you know how many different ways there are to convey an idea and why this particular way was a great choice in this context), but also because languages develop their own criteria of what constitutes good writing, and we aren’t really taught about this—we're taught about our own language's criteria for good prose as if they were universal and objective, and it can be hard to move beyond that, especially when you're happily lost in a book and not actively trying to analyse the subtleties of the writing.

At the risk of giving the least hipster answer ever I really like Victor Hugo's writing because there are whole passages that sound so good I need to go back and re-read them to figure out what's happening in terms of plot (usually nothing, so it's ok), because I was too busy enjoying the flow of language the first time around (my favourite of his is The Man Who Laughs)

I read Pierre Assouline's 500-page book about the Book of Job even though I have little interest in biblical analysis or religious history, because there were sentences that were so pleasantly paced and balanced I just got carried by the momentum...

I love Annie Ernaux's writing in Les Années even though I'm not a fan of her other books, because the sentence construction and rhythm are so perfectly suited to the theme of the book.

I find Anatole France's books rather dull but the language is hypnotising (I talked a bit in this post about how his grammar is graceful as a dance...)

^ looking at this I realise I always come back to movement—grace, balance, flow, rhythm (not the pace of the story but of each sentence), and I know these are the criteria that French deems Terribly Important. I mentioned at the end of this post how (and why) English tends to be less interested in the motion of language and more in the imagery; in Goodreads reviews by native English speakers, beautiful writing is more likely to be described as ‘vivid’ than melodious. That's not to say English speakers can't appreciate (or prefer!) other kinds of prose, obviously, it's just, in broad strokes, what each language likes to focus on (at the present time.) There's a lot of appreciation in English for the kind of prose that you could easily make a moodboard out of—evoking sensations, colours, atmosphere—while French highly values the kind of prose that you can easily trace out in the air, with your hand rising and falling, tapping the beat, following grammatical twists and turns.

That's just my understanding, but it's something I notice a lot because I like to read French books along with their English translation (and conversely), to see how translators handle a tricky turn of phrase, or what I would have done differently. And it happens time and time again that the English translation lovingly preserves the imagery of a French sentence (even when a metaphor is difficult to translate) while coldly abandoning the rhythm and sound (even when there are easy English equivalents). Meanwhile French translators often completely ignore (or miss out on) subtle sources of mood and imagery because they are too busy picking the words and sentence structure that sound or flow best. It's really quite funny when you start to notice it.

I would have dozens of examples if I actually took the time to note them as I read, but just two recent ones off the top of my head—

French -> English

I'm currently reading Sylvain Tesson's La Panthère des neiges (The Art of Patience: Seeking the Snow Leopard in Tibet in English) (I needed a 'cold’ book during the heatwave...) At one point the author draws a comparison between religious worship and observing wild animals. For an example of what I was saying re: "tracing out sentences in the air", there's the sentence "La prière s'élève, adressée à Dieu." The two halves are 5 syllables - 5 syllables (6-6 if you read it formally.) The last word of the first half is "s'élève" — "rises". The last word of the second half goes down, since it's the end of the sentence. There's a clear rising and falling motion to it, which is also perfectly balanced in terms of syllables / rhythm; it makes a nice symmetric pattern in the air.

Now, the translation aspect—you've got the sentence "A genoux, on espère sans preuve." Then, shortly afterwards: "A l'affût, on connaît ce que l'on attend." The author is comparing the acts of kneeling (to pray) and lying in wait (to watch animals); so he chose phrasings and sentence structures that create a clear symmetry ("A genoux" / "A l'affût", 3 syllables, starting with the same sound, followed by a comma, then “on” + verb + clause.) The English translation? "To kneel is to wait in expectation without proof" [...] "Lying in a hide, the object of the wait is known."

This is bad!

Now the two sentences have different grammatical structures, they don't contain the same pronoun and don’t start with the same sound or phrasing even though the translator could have chosen to write "Kneeling" and "Lying" to preserve a tiny bit of the original intent. The translation obliterates the similarities of sound & rhythm in the grammar and word choice, which were here for a literary purpose—to link and compare two concepts.

On the other hand, every sentence in the book that's ripe with vivid imagery of wild animals is very conscientiously translated. In the next page, Tesson describes yaks as "taches de jais saupoudrant—", the English translator: "[the yaks] appeared as jade smudges scattered—" It's word for word ! The translator clearly thought visually striking phrases are essential and must be preserved as faithfully as possible, but phrases that are striking on an auditory / rhythmical level are less important (or less likely to be appreciated by an English-speaking reader.)

English -> French

I was reading The Bear and the Nightingale last year and I remember a contrast so blatant it made me laugh—the sentence "The ground was thick with snowdrops" in the original, was translated in French as "Le sol était parsemé d'une nuée de perce-neige." (The ground was scattered with a mist of snowdrops.)

In terms of French prose, this is good! In terms of faithful translation of English prose, this is bad! The translator went for the complete opposite when it comes to imagery—"thick" which evokes weight, vs. the weightlessness of "scattered" and “mist.”

But you know what? "Parsemé" and "perce-neige" have the same syllable count and nearly identical consonant sounds— [p]-[sə]-[m] / [p]-[sə]-[n]. It's pleasing to the ear and symmetrical. The “mist” bit might seem unnecessary (you could say “scattered with snowdrops”) but it was added because it contributes to this—rather than having two similar words right next to one another, they are now the last word in the first and second half of the sentence, making each half end on a similar sound, like poetry. The two halves "le sol était parsemé" and "d'une nuée de perce-neige" have 7 syllables each (with a mute e, the way most people would read it.) So the sentence sounds nice and is well-balanced, and what could be more important than musicality and balance?? Surely not imagery.

It's good writing in terms of what French deems important. It's terrible at preserving what the original English deemed important—"thick" associated with snowdrops as if the flowers were an actual blanket of snow—this evokes weight and quiet—the next sentence then opens with the trill of a bird, and the light, airy sound feels all the more vivid thanks to this clear contrast.

Which is obliterated by the French translation. But the French sentence flows nicely, and it really highlights what each language finds beautiful and essential, in terms of prose. I mentioned in this post that one of the reasons French takes up more room as a language is that it loves grammatical redundancy while English hates it—and I think it's because expanding or repeating a grammatical structure can add symmetry and balance, while it dilutes / drowns out the imagery. I don't think translators make an active choice all the time to overlook one aspect of the prose and pay more attention to another—I think as they mentally chew on the original text and try to come up with the best equivalent, they instinctively tend to fall into this pattern of favouring their language’s Good Writing criteria (probably because it’s assumed readers favour them as well.)

I should write these kinds of examples down in some Word doc, because they’re everywhere, and while there are so many writing styles and translation styles in both languages, there really is a pattern here—French being obsessed with balance and assonance, i.e. the beauty of motion & sound (which are twin concepts when it comes to language), how to make the flow of a sentence linger in your mind; English being obsessed with the beauty of imagery, the ways to make it 'pop', how to make an atmosphere linger in your mind.

Sorry for this very long answer that only briefly touched on your question, but I really love to observe the ways people use their languages so similarly yet differently!

#ask #language tag #i already made this disclaimer in one of the posts linked here but obviously there is good imagery in french writing and #musicality and rhythm in english prose #this is just a general pattern / preference that's noticeable

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jujumin-translates · 5 months

Text

Event | Xmas PARK CARNIVAL | Chapter 8

Banri: When I went on that trip, I went to the Christmas market with my family, and ‘cause I was a kid, I was interested in a lotta things and kept pointin’ stuff out.

Banri: Nee-chan was holdin’ my hand the whole time ‘cause she thought I was gonna run off on my own.

Banri: I was poutin’ about it ‘cause it made me feel held back when a shopkeeper from the Christmas market approached me.

Banri: They said it’d be a shame for me to be makin’ a face like that on a joyful Christmas day. So they gave me an ornament.

Sakuya: Really…

Banri: The shopkeeper said they loved Christmas and wanted as many people as possible to have happy Christmas memories.

Banri: And since I was a kid, that put me in a better mood right away.

Sakuya: Fufu, that’s such a sweet memory, Banri-kun.

Banri: Well, sure. But this stays between you and me, got it?

Sakuya: Yeah, of course.

Sakuya: …I have one too, a Christmas memory, that is.

Banri: Huh, what kind?

Sakuya: I’ve already told this to everyone who was on my team when we did our MANKAI Company fan meeting, but…

Sakuya: I was being taken care of by relatives when I was little. And I really wanted Santa to come, so I tried my best to help out however I could every day.

Sakuya: But Santa never came… there were no presents by my pillow on Christmas morning.

Sakuya: It’s not a very good memory, but… but everyone on my team made our story for my sake.

Sakuya: So, I kinda get what you mean about seeing your feelings in a different light.

Banri: Gotcha. I think I kinda get why you said that you’d rather play the boy who hates Christmas.

Sakuya: …Yeah, it’s because of that memory.

Sakuya: I can relate to having bitter Christmas memories.

Sakuya: But I’m glad that I got to talk about Christmas memories with you like this, Banri-kun.

Banri: Yeah, I feel the same way.

Banri: They had kinda faded away, but once I thought back to my childhood and touched those Christmas memories again…

Banri: I feel like I was able to find some hints for the play by talkin’ like this.

Banri: I think we can put on a damn good play now.

Sakuya: Yeah, I think so too!

Banri: Well, we’ve been talkin’ for quite a while now, so let’s get goin’.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Banri: Aight, once we’re back to the hotel…

Announcement: 《We would like to inform all visitors that due to strong winds, the “Amazing Coaster” will not be operating.》

Banri: Sounds like one of the rides is closin’ down. That’s what the announcement said.

Sakuya: I guess because of the strong wind, huh…

Banri: Ah, is that the one?

Attendee A: 《Is this the ride we can’t go on?》

Attendee B: 《Damn~, I really like this coaster.》

Attendee C: 《That sucks, I was really looking forward to riding it…》

Banri: …Sakuya, you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

Sakuya: I’m sure we’ve got the same idea in mind.

Banri: Damn right.

Sakuya: But is it really okay for us to use our roles from the show…?

Izumi: Ah, Sakuya-kun, Banri-kun!

Sakuya: Director! And Guy-san and Sasaki-san too. Weren’t you guys looking around the amusement park?

Guy: Yes, Director and I had places we wanted to see. Sasaki-san was showing us around.

Sasaki: Looks like the two of you left the theater.

Banri: Perfect timin’. I actually have a favor to ask…

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #sakuya sakuma #banri settsu #// ohhh the illness

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goldenpinof · 6 months

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1) I'm a different nonnie but I loved your analysis on the dnpg comeback, but it leads into 2) what I don't understand about Dan is how YouTube stresses him out /so/ much, but how other projects don't as much? I've read his book, and I know it has to do with judgement and how hard he feels he has to pretend to make people like him (side note, I want him to write another book. I'd love Dan is Not Okay as a book even. I like his writing style), but you would think that that anxiety would translate to any public projects. 3) mildly unrelated, but when they react to pinof 4, I wonder if they're going to talk about 2012 in depth (Dan's breakdown on Tumblr, how the fans harassed Adrian, the friends they publicly fell out with between 2012-2013, just all of it) or if they're going to just react to the Pinof itself. Personally I feel like PINOF 4's energy is generally fine, but since they're focusing on controlling the narrative now, it could be interesting to use it as a possible retrospective and a way to clearly define their boundaries.

i'm gonna follow your structure :)

1) thank you <3;

2) i think it can have something to do with the amount of things being made. if it's youtube it "has to be" many good quality and interesting videos (3-5 is already many) and youtube demands consistency if you view it as a job. youtube is also a more public place than venues or bookstores. anyone, and i mean ANYONE, can see Dan's videos on the internet for free and form an opinion, and comment, and start a discussion (good or bad). and not that many things can be erased from the internet. books also cannot be erased the moment you make it digital but it's harder to go through a book and form an actual opinion than to watch a 10-min video and form an opinion also based on Dan's face. videos are personal, it's about him. bigger projects feel more like a job and are perceived as a separate entity. it's not Dan, it's what Dan makes. also books have editors and publishers that have some kind of responsibility alongside the author. independent youtube videos? not really. switching to tours. Dan likes irl feedback a lot. maybe that thing makes it easier for him to dive into an enormous amount of physical and emotional work every tour requires. also, the tour is not Dan, it's what Dan makes and plays a role in. there is more detachment from his personality even though we know he puts his own thoughts into his shows (tatinof and ii included). Dan may also like conceptual things (i'm assuming here, i don't remember if he ever said it, he could). to build a whole world based on an idea and live in this world for a bit. like, creating a tv series or a show requires more time, more revisions, help from others, but it's also more fun to create something so big, i guess. it requires more than his youtube videos but it also gives more in return. it's like making a baby that you're so proud of and then presenting it to the world, time and time again to different people. youtube videos could also be viewed as babies but as he said, a lot of it was made to please the algorithm and to survive on youtube (paraphrasing here). he overthinks his content and because of the amount (again) it's harder with videos than 1 or 2 bigger projects that he can spend months on making. (i bet the pitching of his projects and communication in general stress him out as well. but luckily, he has managers for that). you mentioned dan is not okay as a book, and i would die to see the script of a show as it is. and the fact that it already exists blows my mind a little bit. like, give it to me!!;

3) no, they won't talk about 2012 uneasy times. honestly, i'm gonna be shocked if they acknowledge it in any way. Adrian is a public figure now, mentioning him is a risk. i think they will just react to pinof 4, maybe they will give a few looks @ the camera indicating that they know we know, but other than that, i really really doubt we will get any serious commentary.

#answered #dan #wad #this tag will live forever ugh #dan is not okay #ywgttn #note: he was asked to write a book (i don't remember where he said it don't come for me)#so it wasn't really his idea. he agreed to it though and made it happen so i guess it counts as a baby.

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defences-down · 5 months

Text

We'll Make This Feeling Last: Representation and Community Building at FITFWT

With a little while until tours start up again, I’ve been thinking a lot about how live music can build community and the ways artists create those moments in collaboration with their audiences. Having worked in entertainment, I’m always curious to see how different styles of live shows work to bring audiences into the performance. One moment of this community building that has particularly captured my attention in 2023 is the Megamix at Louis Tomlinson’s Faith in the Future World Tour. As a fan of his for many years, I admire how dedicated he seems to be in creating a space at his shows for people to feel accepted. Whether intentional or not, my history in storytelling through performance and literature and my love of musical theatre and opera have had me mulling over the possibility of what story is told in this show. The longer I thought about it, and the more I watched clips, lives, as well as what I observed at the show I attended, I couldn’t help but draw conclusions and connect dots. In this piece, I will attempt to synthesize my thoughts regarding what the story could be while also acknowledging that none of us know what the story is for him or any person who helped design the moment. We only know what this moment has come to mean for each of us individually. Some of these stories have been generously shared with me for this project. This also probably goes without saying, but I feel it necessary to do it anyway, this is my opinion and my interpretation of things as a Queer Person, Larrie, and a lifelong lover of the arts. If you have a different opinion than what I outline here, that is perfectly fine. I just ask that you approach this with an open mind. I’m also in no way speaking for anyone associated with any project he’s been involved in in the past or present or Louis as an artist or person. Hate comments on this post, in my inbox, or in the inboxes of those who shared their stories will get you blocked. It simply is what it is. If analysis or theorizing makes you uncomfortable, this is not the place for you to air that grievance.

Without any further ado, let’s begin.

The anticipation leading up to the first show had fans daydreaming about what songs might be included in the setlist. The preshow buzz, spurred on by the “leaked” setlist had many fans, myself included, questioning where certain fan favorites were. Especially because in interviews Louis had mentioned them as favorites of himself and his “best mate.” And what the mysterious “megamix” could be. Little did any of us know that our questions would be answered shortly or that this mystery would quickly become part of the show many of us look forward to show after show.

Since Louis first began mentioning that this album was designed for live shows I’ve had a thought tumbling through my mind, what if the show is also designed for a specific purpose and to tell a specific story? And if the show is designed to tell a story, what part of the story is Megamix telling us?

I think the story is two-fold, and while I can’t speak to what it means for him or anyone associated with him, I’ve certainly got my own ideas about what it could be. That story is interesting, and I will dabble into my interpretation of what it could mean for him, but it’s not the whole story any more. We’ve all become part of the story, and our stories have all blended to build a story of a community finding belonging and safety in the glow of the rainbow lights.

That first night was nothing short of magical, and the connection that spans continents was stronger than ever. It felt like a cosmic shift to me when the rainbow lights came up that first night. They had begun during the post-album release gigs in December 2022, and certain people had doubted the motivation for including them at the shows at that time. The lights coming back for the world tour over songs all about connection, doubt, time, and finding community was an answer to him seeing us and us seeing him. Yet another moment in the saga of “I need you, You need me” that is the fabric of our connections to each other.

The Megamix and the staging of it are a loud and deliberate response to the call and response that has been happening between the two of us for years and has only gotten stronger as this tour has gone on. A response that has only gotten brighter as the tour has gone on. And by the time the tour reached Europe, the stage lights had come off of the stage to envelop the audience. A move that I interpret as yet another deliberate act of connection and a reminder that he's aware of who his audience is. From other artists, it could be seen as pandering, but it doesn't here, at least not to me because he's always made it clear that he's aware of the base. From pointing at the rainbow banners at shows to his expression of gratitude for what Only The Brave has become for so many, not to mention the tender way he interacts with fans. This moment on tour is an encouraging reminder that our bravery in being exactly who we are doesn’t go unnoticed. It’s a love letter. It’s a moment of solidarity.

And while I’m not going to be covering the remainder of the show, putting this moment before songs like Copy of a Copy of a Copy and Angels Fly serves as a reminder that when the rain comes, we can rely on each other to look after each other, that we are indeed stronger together. We can hold on to the magic of the show by putting on a record or reaching out to the community. That the friends we make at shows or online are real connections that we can make the safety of the show last long after the final note.

It has been a while since a show has happened when I’m posting this, so let me set the scene.

The previous song has ended. The screens are black and white, and the musical introduction swells as Louis takes a second to take in the room. To see the community he built, of the “best the one direction fans,” of the people who found him after as he was finding a way to be a solo artist, of the people who came along to be with people they love. The interlude continues, and what sounds like someone taking a deep breath before spilling their soul can be heard in the mix, something that I’ve only noticed in watching footage of the shows during the break. And at that moment, All This Time comes barreling in with blue and green lights as if to say, “Remember.”

“Remember, there are things that I cannot say.”

“Remember, I’m just like you.”

“Remember that the story painted about me in the tabloids and other places isn’t the whole story. You and I are here together, so let’s not waste the chance to tell the story in the way I can. I’ve been speaking my truth as much as I can, praying that you can see it through the obstacles.”

Or, as he sings in All This Time, “It’s worth it all this time.”

We all get crippled by self-doubt, and there are things we can’t speak about. Devastating things have broken us down, so let’s take a moment to be together in this place and let it go, even just for one night. Let’s hold each other up and let this feeling carry us through. Then there's another observation moment before continuing into She is Beauty and the cascade of rainbow lights.

The music and staging work in tandem to share the lesson to take away from this pairing that we're all in this together. Do you see what I see? Can you all see that I'm just like you?

Several speeches before Copy piqued my curiosity that the squats and sitting on the steps in front of Steve could be a choreographed moment. A moment to ground himself in the connection. His speech in Berlin before Copy confirmed it for me when he said, “I deliberately take that moment in All This Time. I know it feels a bit choreographed, getting down there every night, but I’m not much of a dancer. I just like to take it all in, because where you’re touring, shows pass you by. It’s important that you take in those moments.” And if this moment to connect is choreographed, it’s all the more impactful that it takes place in the moment of community building. A glance between obstacles where some truths are intentionally illuminated. It brings attention to the message of those two songs together, why they were put together, and arguably why this moment was listed as Megamix on the first setlist. Emphasizing connection during these songs where the stage is bathed in blue and green lights and then rainbows brings startling clarity to a set of songs that from the beginning have been up to interpretation for some. The stories I’ve collected from other fans show how much this moment of connection means to them too.

Every story has an undercurrent of gratitude for this community, for the music, and for Louis. Every story takes a moment to bring up how much that moment has touched them, made them feel safe, or encouraged them to make the feeling of this moment continue.

One response, from Jules @theirloveisgross, put into words just how much this moment meant to her (and indeed many others) and how it inspired fan projects.

“I got emotional just reading this question. Seeing it on that first show, through a live stream, was a bit of a shock. And it's something that I still can't wrap my head around that he's done for almost 80 shows this year. It felt like the epitome of ‘do you see what I see.’ His answer, in a way, if you will. It feels like being part of something bigger (motif, eh?)...After the Uncasville show, on a live stream, it was even clearer to me which songs needed the rainbow treatment this time around. I always wanted rainbow lights and flags for All This Time since we got the album, but seeing the show they put on with SIBWAWC... Had to happen…Some of us worked really hard to bring rainbows back to Louis shows, like in LTWT. And we did it! My eternal gratitude for to londonfoginacup and lululawrence for the success of rainbow megamix. Also, the crazy idea of making a project for my home show also sparked in me, after the first three shows. So I went and organized (basically by myself and volunteers I coordinated) a rainbow lights project for Vancouver. It was a lot of work and some obstacles were in the way, but it filled me with so much joy. Seeing it come to life was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. The venue wasn't sold out and it wasn't perfect... But you could tell it was a rainbow in the stands, with hundreds of flags in the pit. It was the first rainbow light project during the whole megamix. I will never ever forget it, and the gratefulness of some of the people that reached out. Once I got home after that show, I crumbled and sobbed for an hour or so. Because... Besides Louis' shows being one of my favorite places to be at, they're also safe, and I wanted people to remember that, to not forget it. Because the first few shows in the NA leg were a bit scary with the lack of rainbows, but we did it! And Europe continued it! And it's been so beautiful! And I'm crying about it again.”

Another response, from CC @savebylou, brought up how no matter how you attended the shows it feels special, “there is something so special about Louis shows, whether is in person or online, his music and words makes you feel part of the show, and seeing the online reaction and commenting about it was a wonderful experience.”

Ella @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk responded to the question regarding how Megamix feels to watch saying, “It makes me feel seen, it makes me feel like I belong. like Louis knows we're all in this club together. we /see/ each other.”

Logan @naomismcpherson responds similarly in his answer “I felt like I belonged to this community. I felt like this was a way for Louis to let us know we were welcomed and seen. I felt empowered and proud to belong to this organization this community “

That's what it's all about, connection, building up something that lasts past through the last note. The story starts and ends the same way. Every night it's “you and me, until the end.”

That's the magic of it, the community found wherever we are from Athens to Atlanta, Milwaukee to Montevideo. When considering what the story told throughout the show could be, I kept coming back to Megamix and what it means to all of us. Everything is grounded in this moment and time, that’s why it felt so jarring when there was a show without it.

The story is that we all need each other, we are better together, and when we act in ways that serve as a lifeline for others, the future looks a little brighter. Simply put, investing in each other is one of the best ways to have faith in the future. We owe it to each other and ourselves to invest in our relationships with each other. We can hold on to the freedom of the shows, if we hold on to each other. We can make this feeling last.

Many thanks to everyone who shared their stories, those who've made this tour so far a blast, and of course Louis and the band.

Happy New Year!

#sunshine!#the megamix essay #louis tomlinson #fitf world tour

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buttercups-song · 8 months

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Alright, so I’ve seen a couple of hot takes that there is no queerbaiting in the Loki show (and what’s even funnier that mcu has never queerbaited) because Loki is canonically queer… and like… alright so there’s no queerbaiting in spn because technically speaking cas is queer? Queerbaiting is a marketing strategy so even if we ignore what’s in the show, the chemistry between actors and some truly insane acting choices, the Loki show is queerbaiting because of how it was marketed, and especially how the first season was marketed. Before the show aired we were told that Loki was going to have multiple love interests, we were told that sophia di martino was playing loki (and told so in a way that suggested that she was playing ‘our’ loki). There is a part of the soundtrack that is literally named ‘lokius’. Even before this season started airing the marketing heavily focused on the relationship between Loki and mobius, reassuring us that Our Loki would be with Our mobius.

And alright I’ll give them that they confirmed that loki is bi/pan in episode three and let’s ignore that the confirmation was two seconds long, pretty vague, had no impact on the plot nor characters and wasn’t mentioned ever again. Ok. Fine. Honestly my much bigger gripe is with how they handled Loki’s gender.

Which is to say that they fucked up. Despite Loki being gender-fluid in the comics and despite how the show was marketed, the text of the show heavily suggests that both our Loki and Sylvie are cis. Ok so the arrest report in the credit says: “sex: fluid”. Which is completely different from saying (and showing) that Loki is gender-fluid. What is shown in the show (or rather in the credits, which let’s be real almost no one bothers to read) is that Loki’s sex is fluid… which yes he’s a shapeshifter. That’s not representation, they don’t say that Loki is trans, the fans can read it that way, but disney doesn’t have to fear backlash from conservatives because Loki in the show is not gender-fluid, he’s a shapeshifter (who doesn’t shapeshift for some reason). Sylvie literally says that she was born a “goddess of mischief”, every single other Loki is shocked by the idea of a ‘female version’ of them. It’s supposed to be a #girlboss moment but it’s not! It reads like every Loki is a (cis) man! And sure you can have a head canon that they’re shocked that Sylvie is exclusively presenting as a woman, or that Sylvie is not cis but obviously was born a goddess. But that’s not what’s in the text. From episode one when talking about the variant they’re hunting everyone in the tva uses ‘he’ pronoun when referring to them. Why? All they know is that they’re hunting a loki, so if Loki is gender-fluid (or even if their ‘sex is fluid’ as referred to in the show) why assume that the variant they’re looking for is a he? (Probably for the extremely obvious plot twist when Sylvie shows up). I’m actually so mad about this, gender-fluid representation is so rare and they took a canonically gender-fluid character and did what?

There’s so much queerbaiting in the show! And they know what they’re doing! It’s not a coincidence that they’re leaning so much into loki and mobius’ banter! It’s not a coincidence that in the First episode (!) of season two we get a scene in which Loki before pruning himself goes “if I don’t make it back, I…” which is meant to sound like a beginning of a confession! Which was a beginning of a confession last season when it was directed towards sylvie! It’s almost exactly the same scene! But let’s be real, he probably was going to say something like: “if I don’t make it back, find sylvie”.

Why are we still getting this treatment in 2023? (because it clearly pays well) If they didn’t want to give us good queer rep, why market it as such? Loki is queer in the comics, he wasn’t canonically queer in the movies (despite the immaculate vibes). They could have left it alone. I’m sure that many people still would have shipped Loki and mobius because of the incredible chemistry between actors and (let’s be real) that just how fandoms work, but that wouldn’t count as queerbaiting, because again that’s a marketing strategy.

#how many essays about Loki can I write?#loki #loki season 2 #loki show #take a shot every time I use the term queerbaiting #please don’t you’ll die

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maramirror11 · 6 months

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Neon Wings

These are just my thoughts on this AMAZING series and I don't have someone to dump this so here we go.

Spoiler warning for both The Neon Barbarian and Neon Wings.

I've never done this and English grammar isn't my strong point.

I wasn't expecting a sequel for TNB. But the world was too interesting to not make more. So, I was surprised that NW went in a different direction. It's Raven's story and it SHOWS.

I love how the audience is able to witness Raven's past and compare it with the present.

I enjoy making the backstories of Listeners based on the little information we have. However, it feels different to just hear about their past from BE THERE to understand what they went through.

Because for me the two series are one big story. Of course, you can see one and not the other. Still, it hits different when you see both.

I like the idea of Crow not going back. It'll defeat the purpose of the story. (Don't get me wrong I LOVE CROW, I MISS HIM). Yet, if he comes back, it'll be awkward since Raven is different. Time has moved on and he will be stuck in the past again.

For me, Raven changes from being someone open to knowing new people to becoming this person with emotional walls. In both she's still kind and a badass, but it's different.

It took her TWO days to give Ivan the pie unlike with Crow that it took a few hours to invite him to her house.

One of my favorite parts of this series were the moments Raven had a panic attack. Sure, almost every video has loud banging or shooting noises.

But with these ones, you can FEEL how UNCOMFORTABLE she is. How there is nowhere to run, no way to get the sound quiet down. How the sirens and shooting noises never left her head as she just stayed there, incapable to do something.

The way music is used is another favorite part. Out of Touch means so much for her, both good and bad. I forgot the music was playing WHILE Crow was being shot.

That's why in her nightmare, after Ivan gets shot, it sounds a distorted version. It's the story repenting itself all over again.

Just for her to claim the song while they fight against Luke. Love the detail. The final song Chicago was *chef kiss*. It's a new song for a new life and it fits PERFECTLY.

ALSO, THE FIGHTING AND SOLO SCENES OMGGG. You KNOW what Raven does and what they do to her, from hand to hand combat to guns.

Also, there are many scenes where she doesn't interact with anyone and still understand what happened. Like when she goes back home from the incident and just drops to her couch/bed.

Lemme talk about Ivan. I was surprised with Ivan's attitude. He is always calm and never actually cursed. I thought that his reaction to Raven's old job was something he was OK with but couldn't participate.

He's so kind with everyone and his struggle NOT TO drop facts about the things he likes is relatable. HE'S SO AFFECTIONATE WITH RAVEN AND PALOMA, I LOVE HIM.

At the end, he curses and gives effective strategies to kill the other mercenaries. On top of that, he ended up shooting someone, so I think I didn’t give Ivan enough credit.

The fact that he has a kind heart, doesn't mean he's not brave enough to protect the ones he cares about. They became The Power Couple. Relationship Goals indeed.

It was a hard task to give Raven another love interest since Crow is so loved by the fans. And I admit it was handled very well. For both Crow and Michelle.

I appreciate how Michelle is not a competition. For me, she had the right to be upset at the beginning. It was a dangerous and new situation. She just wanted to protect her family.

Probably Ivan talked to her and explained the situation better, since Michelle doesn't blame Raven again at the end.

My question right now is, WHY Raven took Ivan with her??? He can't run and doesn't have that much experience in combat.

Maybe they felt safe with each other. I mean, Raven IS a mercenary and fought 3 armed guys alone. Also, why was she so open to listen to Luke? He knows most about Para M and would benefit from her death. I still need to give it more thought.

There are still some things that kept me thinking about the other stuff that weren't shown. One is that Danny is never brought up again. I understand that she was not as important as Crow in the story but STILL.

She died saving her identity from Louis and now Raven takes care of her cat. I just wonder if Danny was for Raven, another victim of the circumstances or they were friends.

Also, the disaster that created the super genits (i'm sorry if I wrote it wrong) is never brought up again. But I think it's because it takes place far away from the original incident. Something that is never stated as well, are Danny and Crow buried somewhere?.

Lastly, I always keep this writing advice in mind. Characters of a story can't be the same at the beginning and at the end. The scene that brought me that thought was when Raven got shot. I'm pretty sure she couldn't hear Crow's words before this moment.

Seeing him one last time and being in the situation she wanted for so long, it shows how much she grew. Raven from the beginning would've accepted to die.

But she couldn't, there was something worth living for. Raven had her closure with her past and now it's ready for the future. IT MADE ME EMOTIONAL 😭.

Now Raven can live her life again the way she wants. She leaves her old name and life behind. Not seeing the next sunrise but to enjoy it as well.

It's like those stories even if you get spoilers, it's not the same as experience it.

That's all.

#escapedaudios #escaped audios #hits a sensitive spot to me #neon wings #the neon barbarian #I forgot to add this #Does Raven still have Crow's tapes?#Raven became the fandom wife #There was a lot of effort and care in this story #From the VAs performance to the editing #Any story that touches on the idea of finding joy for the future hits a sensitive spot to me #el Escapado se pasó #él se levantó un día y eligió la violencia #como hace prácticamente todos los días

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vigilskeep · 7 months

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Hello, vampire blood person again! Big fan of your presentations and have been getting very inspired lately thanks to you and your blog so I thought you'd be a good person to come to and ask, how do you know so much? The lore stuff is pretty easy to research on a wiki but in terms of the real world comparisons, I remember you comparing the angel and spirits and talking about how interesting the differences between andrastaism and real life is and you just seem a very knowledgeable person. I was wondering if you just grew up religious or have studied the bible or anything like that? I'll study that whole damn brick if I have to but are there any resources you can suggest to study such things and better study DA as a whole? Good luck on the next presentation and thank you for being an inspiration!

hi!!

ah so as for my general knowledge i’m religious and grew up christian, and i’m also a, uh, student on pause; i have two and a half years of a history & english literature degree that i wasn’t able to quite finish at the time. so i have no qualifications i’m afraid but my general knowledge about christianity and about history, especially pre-modern history which i vastly prefer, is, i like to think, quite good?

so i have a lot of basic knowledge yes. i’m trying to think of how someone could replicate that from scratch as it were

for andrastianism, for example, a refresher on the basics of christianity is a must, for comparison’s sake alone. here’s the first fairrrrrrly neutral (sorry for relying on the bbc. by fairly neutral i mean not actively trying to convert you) site i could find with a lot of quick information for the fundamentals as it were. where’s a good friendly starting point for the medieval church. maybe something like the you’re dead to me podcast? it’s a very light fun introduction designed for no starting knowledge, they put a comedian and a historian on, it’s a good time. try the early medieval papacy episode for a relevant starting place. as for andrastianism’s origins, you’re going to need a grasp on the roman empire and the rise of christianity to know what they’re getting at. probably a good idea to know who joan of arc is, as well. you’re dead to me has an episode on her too!

trying to think of what other historical areas are useful... judaism in medieval western europe is a must if you care about city elves as they clearly drew on that, whatever they like to pretend. i should learn more myself. the norman conquest of england would be the comparison for the orlesian occupation of ferelden that jumps to mind. i don’t know how much comparison value there is, nothing springs to mind, but if you want to know the mechanics of that kind of invasion it should be useful enough. anything about western european medieval kings and dynasties is great for building on just how those dynamics work. on i guess a heavier note i think it’s crucial to be aware of what the crusades were and the kind of myths that medieval europeans had about outsiders to recognise a lot of what’s going on with, and discomfiting about, qunari lore

in many ways the real knack is just having enough general knowledge to know what game lore is referencing from. so really just the more you broaden your knowledge the more of a uhhhh palette you’ll have to compare it all too. be a sponge for information. also all of this is super useful for understanding everything else in general not just our favourite viddy game series!! not to soapbox but i think the assumption that everyone in the west simply knows what christianity is and doesn’t need to be taught really sets us back in terms of understanding our own cultures, for instance

sorry if this wasn’t that helpful but thank you for the message!!

#long post

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mdhwrites · 7 months

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whats your opinion on caleb and evelyn (at least from what very little we know of them-)

imo the whole caleb clawthorne thing is like. one of the most pointless things in the show ever

I have called them and their connection to Belos "TOH's final trick". TOH has a single trick up its sleeve that is great for fanfic writers and TERRIBLE for a narrative. They introduce really compelling relationships and ideas and then they never do anything with them. It happens with Amity and Luz, Amity and Willow, the Hexide Squad and the Coven System, Hunter and Belos, etc. etc. All of these concepts present tantalizing issues that one could really delve in deep to and find a lot of meaning... But TOH isn't interested. It is more interested in a blog about how deep Amity's character is implied to be rather than doing anything with that depth, hence why so many people hooked onto how awful the confrontation with her parents would eventually be and then the show itself just... Has her in like three minutes of that episode and her confrontation doesn't feel like the main point of it even if it's the climax. And then it's effectively over and any issue between Lumity is never brought up again.

Caleb and Evelyn are the same but with a bit of FNAF storytelling thrown in. The pictures are vague after all so people can interpret them in different ways for what they mean. The cast has been coy as to the actual events. It's a multiple choice backstory for your villain that ranges from irredeemable monster to sympathetic villain. That way the show can claim to have a complex villain that doesn't technically invalidate the fact that they have no interest in writing a complex villain, nor do they want to need to.

But it was also one straw too many. Lumity getting together paid off in some way that old narrative baggage of Amity's, even if less powerfully than it could have. Hunter being possessed and fighting off Belos doesn't have the weight it should and I have problems with how selfish the reasoning is rather than ideological but it is a payoff to that relationship. However, a genuinely real amount of time is spent in S3, and S2, building up that Belos is something more than a genocidal, egotistical asshole. Caleb and Evelyn are a LOT of this. So what's the payoff?

There is none. Beating him isn't an ideological victory. They don't come up like Lief did for beating Andrias to pay that off. In fact, they come up less in the final fight than they do during the fight in King's Tide where the heroes LOSE. So they spent some of the very limited time they had to wrap up their story on a subplot about Belos' backstory that doesn't actually inform us of anything, doesn't affect anything and has no payoff except the most obvious one.

It's literally Willow's story except for your PRIMARY ANTAGONIST'S BACKSTORY.

The fact that the majority of the meat of it is done in a really just AWFULLY animated set piece who's literal writing is boilerplate at best does not help it at all. The best parts of this mechanically are the portraits in Hollow Mind and they're vague and that's IT. Otherwise, it's clunky for the most part. I'll give the moment when monster Belos sees Caleb as he tries to take on a new form is neat but it tells us nothing and feels out of character in the end that he'd give enough of a shit to be haunted by his brother, especially after he's killed his brother so many times. Honestly, the Golden Guards looking like Caleb even NOW just makes me think the Collector is right: He likes hurting his brother. Why else would he not finally stop after the hundredth betrayal? Unless he gets off on the moment of their betrayal I guess.

It's just not good and a casual fan is going to like it even less because they won't really absorb and think the portraits so to them, it's just one really awkward sequence in the first special, an eerie sequence that doesn't add to anything in the second and then is sir not appearing in the third. That's not engaging.

Since little of it is engaging, it fails to function as a trick. After all, any magician will tell you that everything is about misdirection in their craft. Without it, a trick becomes nothing but smoke and mirrors instead of magic.

======+++++======

Btw, mentioned FNAF so may as well say here: Saw it and really liked it. I keep considering making a blog about it and then just... not.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #philip wittebane #caleb wittebane #evelyn clawthorne #belos toh

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onesunofagun · 6 months

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You know, I'm going to put a thought down because I'm thinking about this again because of the post earlier.

It might be a vent? I think it's more just me trying to describe a feeling so it's outside me and I can look at it.

I've seen a lotta discourse and a lot of theories and different takes out there. There's always gonna be some stuff that's frustrating because it's something Sus being widely normalised, but generally speaking, I think the varied perspective and ideas are always good thing in a fandom.

I've seen all sorts of ideas be explored-- in fics, in doujins and art, in roleplay, in lore essays-- over the years. I like to think I have a pretty good map on the fandoms I've been online and present in since the early 00s. I can usually remember context about how certain stuff came about, like what tropes or ideas got popular when and how, whether through shipping or fanon or mangas or general knowledge about the development process.

When you've been in a fandom a long time-- especially if you have made a lot of contributions to it, at any point-- sometimes you even have a part in shaping certain idea flows within it, yourself.

So I have had the chance to see and contribute to a lot of conversations that have happened over and over and over again, in a kind of generational way. I have seen certain discussions from old forums, translate to fics. I've seen them pop up on tumblr, then tumble to Reddit, then YouTube. I have watched the spread through the general sphere of things, get added to and turned over and re-examined.

For the record: I love watching that process, and I like being part of that process! Mentally tracking the grandfathered in fandom history has also become its own kinda hobby for me.

I've always found it interesting mapping where new fans come in, seeing how they orient themselves and what they pick up-- how and why and what they do with it, whether I appreciate it or not (I highlight biases that are related to harmful ideas when I see them to illuminate them).

Seeing certain concepts be repeatedly rediscovered and watching how certain waves of fans digest them is fascinating. Sometimes with surprising results, sometimes with disappointing results, but it's fascinating either way. That's kind of part of the appeal having been here so long and why I came back into (mild) activity-- I get to study and dissect the fandom behaviours as well.

But despite all of that, I've found I don't really appreciate a good number of the popular YouTubers who focus on Zelda as their channel topic.

I think I've developed a bit of a distaste for a few of them in particular, actually--the big number Zeldatuber channels. Mostly the ones that seem to be the theorycrafters that kinda followed on from a MatPat style format. All of my love to well researched videos analysing the themes and meta, and all the silly boundary breaks and speedruns, mind. But I found I got really disillusioned with the handful of channels that rose to prominence and how their content shifted with that growth.

With the potential to monetise their discussions and discords worth of people and patrons driving this kinda content, I do think a lot about things that have been discussed in the fandom in the past that get taken up and regurgitated as part of that grind. I have lost track of how many videos that have come out of a few big Zeldatubers of this vein gave me a really weird slimy feeling and I am trying to work out what it is.

I'm not super invested in watching much of Zeldatube at large, mostly because I've seen most popular subjects covered in many variations. I'm a lot more personally interested in analysis, rather than theorycraft, so take it with a grain of salt that I may have a bias too (The popular Zonai fixation really doesn't interest me at all, and Zeldatube burnt out on that hard).

A lot of the channels like this seem to present their stuff like it is brand new and never been seen before, and like it's a great achievement in sleuthing or that they've cracked a code-- but not in a fun feeling way. Not in an exciting personal discovery way, but in a way that feels like it's propping up an exclusivity around that channel, and its validity as a leading authority on Zeldadom. There's something vaguely newsfeed-like, or sensationalist about it to me, with tight knit associations to other big channels making the same type of content (and about the same types of subjects as far as I ever noticed, and widely overlapping perspectives).

I wonder if that's a cynical feeling that I have where I'm just being an old man yelling at clouds, but there's really something that rubs me wrong about the handful of top channels like this. Something about the way they generate and present, and potentially profit from, often long running fandom concepts and otherwise freely shared ideas that have had many contributions feels off.

Maybe it's also me struggling to understand the closed off nature of how a lot of people just absorb the series secondhand now, and how normal it is to have the most popular Zeldatube channels setting the tones and assumptions around lore for large swatches of the newer fans. And not because old guard gatekeeping, but because there's an obvious chasm there between new and old fans of the same media that now exists that's seemingly getting wider.

I do sometimes worry about the trend of recycled old fanon staples presented as brand new takes, because of that-- or worse, sold as the definitive take, especially when a lot of people do just accept them and then go off and start arguments because 'big Zeldatube said so' and they must know best.

Sometimes I wonder if the trend is actually adding to issues with consumption vs engagement, in terms of media literacy and fandom interaction. There's certainly some theories, because of these channels, widely taken as a kind of gospel from the 'zelda experts' like the discussion is already closed; mystery solved. I've legit seen smaller youtubers be accused of stealing or copying theories from the larger channels, when making detailed and well researched videos about canon lore. I have had multiple interactions with fans who just link to a popular video and be like 'here watch this, it'll explain it' like they can't even be bothered to have their own take, but they're also not interested in yours.

The way big Zeldatube presents itself and gets consumed at large, though, I guess I just don't recognise that as the same as seeing a new fan have a joyful discovery of something from their own interactions with the franchise and fandom. I realise that the channel runners are fans themselves, but I suppose I mean that the platform feels more like a degree of professional separation that's very closed. It's become 'Zelda is my job now' thing that's focused on interest trends and news.

Something something, decades of fandom interaction and discussion and archiving getting scraped and haphazardly slapped together again for the content grind because clout and profit??

That feels mean to say but--

"Like and subscribe and join my patreon for more content, often mined from various thoughts around the fandom to make up a new video to schedule" is how it often tastes to me and that's not a flavour I enjoy.

Again, by all means, not applicable to the whole of Zeldatube or many fans who do watch the big channels. But this kinda thing does feel like a pervasive and popular part of the theorycrafter channels. Commodification of theory, and exploitative platforms built off a community's back, leave a lot of the big Zeldatubers without my support or endearment. I feel incredibly conflicted about them.

Is that anything?

#shut up hero #its about the big zeldatube theory guys #I don't know I've got some weird feels about it #long too sorry

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hrodvitnon · 2 months

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Alternative Mothra Characterization

Heya- so one of my favorite Kaiju to write in my own stuff is Mothra; however, my reasoning for why is the very unique way I choose to interpret and write her character (I’ve not seen anyone ever get close to this when writing her). It’s interesting for me, but simultaneously kinda dissonant when I see her characterized differently (To clarify: this is not a bad thing it is actually a very good thing due to both the intensity of my version and that fans having many different interpretations of characters only adds depth to fandom). Anywho- this version of the character goes very hard on the angst, and I figured it may be a cool thing to share because of Abraxas being- Abraxas. Consider this me sharing my method to hopefully inspire additional ideas involving her.

At her very foundation, this Mothra is very similar to how Mothra is usually presented. Queen to Godzilla, his better half in many ways, infinitely caring for her friends and the planet, etc. However there are some major alterations to the mechanics of her Rebirth Cycle. Whenever she dies- she cannot die in the same way again (she ‘adapts’ to what killed her last and cannot be hurt by it again), each time she does die she loses a seemingly random part of her mind (memories, personality, sense of self, etc), and each time she does die- she becomes more in-tune with the planet and her life (can sense more, becomes more connected to each being, becomes more powerful).

I usually pick up the story in the modern day when she’s died possibly hundreds of times. The consequences of which are discussed below.

The adaptation clause (which I call 8-Fold Wings) adds a new dimension to combat, as her enemies need to figure out what she’s vulnerable to and what she’s already been killed by (fool me once, shame on you). Usually she can manage to beat them before they figure it out- but has to be much more careful when she encounters someone with a unique set of powers.

She’s usually so interconnected to all life that she can sense basically anything, and often takes it upon herself to try and help anyone she senses is in pain for some reason (So I basically do what DA:I did with Cole). I’m sure you can see the sorts of interactions this can often prompt when she launches into an unprovoked therapy session whenever she deems it appropriate.

Now- onto the heavy stuff. At the point in which the audience meets her, she’s died so much that she’s mentally caught between the afterlife and mortal realm; and can barely remember anything from her past lives properly and often gets things wrong that others will correct her on.

Speaking of others: it’s usually a very mentally taxing thing for people who know her to be around her (Godzilla, Rodan, Anguirus); as they remember who she used to be- and seeing her now, although she’s got this whimsical air, altruism, and degree of innocence, they can’t help but remember.

Especially Godzilla. She’s died so many times in sacrifice to him, usually to power him up enough to kill some great threat, or to save his or someone else’s life, that she sometimes even forgets his name. He’s tried to get her to stop- begged her even, but it almost became an addiction to her. She grew so much stronger every time, gained so much knowledge; and each time she dies she does it to help, to save. Despite how much it hurts those around her, she can’t help but keep doing it because she could never bear to see any of them suffer the same fate. Death is a burden she believes only she can bear. She even believes that one day- she will become immortal- after dying in every way possible. Now I personally don’t write them being romantically involved for my own reasons (mostly because mothzilla’s kinda not my thing… Heresy, I know), but you easily could and it would probably be more tragic… Goji forced to watch his wife die countless times and slowly losing herself to the point where she needs to be reminded of who he is. This would tear him apart over the centuries- forcing him to either stay in a tragic relationship with her, unable to let go despite her condition, or him eventually gaining the strength to break it off and pursue something with someone else. You could even a heart-shattering moment when she returns after a death, Godzilla over the moon to see her again until she just tilts her head and him and goes, “Hello! I’m Mothra, don’t believe we’ve met before!”.

So yeah, my own version of the Monster Queen. Could be another Abraxas timeline where the Rebirth works like this. Hope you got something outta this, whether it be ideas or just a fix of angst.

(also sorry about doubling up on long submission posts lol. got that gxk on my mind.)

—

I really dig the idea that Mothra can’t die/be killed by the same means twice (perhaps there’s a life she’s lived where she died of old age and is now functionally immortal but can still die in other ways? Another kind of tragic element). I don’t gatekeep shipping tendencies around here, it’s cool. It’s like, I enjoy mint chocolate ice cream but someone else doesn’t, no problem, I’ll have more of the ice cream I like and they’ll have more of the ice cream they like! Win-win!

Oh, and… wow, yeah, the heavy stuff is fascinating and rife with potential angst and dramatic goodness especially where Godzilla is involved, but (and this is a good but), I found my mental playlist of earworms alternating between Die Toteninsel (Emptiness) and Schubert’s Ständchen (or Serenade) the more I read of that last bullet; specifically Schubert because I once watched a video where an opera singer analyzes video game music and intuited that the particular use of Ständchen isn’t really a happy love song but feels more about unrequited love, it feels frustrated, it feels like loss. And since this take on Mothra can tell when someone’s in pain, she goes from happy to introduce herself to who she sees is a complete stranger to all but slapped with a sensation of emotional agony. Oof.

#submission #mothra #godzilla

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chronotsr · 2 months

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Pre-G1 Modules, part 2 - Palace of the Vampire Queen and DK1-3

Asterisk 1: The first standalone module, Palace of the Vampire Queen

(Another proud DND tradition, evil woman with her tits hanging out, representing here. This adventure is by Pete & Judy Kerestan, the operators of Wee Warriors.)

I'm trying really hard to not get TOO bogged down in exterior details to the adventures themselves, but a small preamble about Wee Warriors. Wee Warriors was a little company that was born to publish DND supplements. They were one of many, there were many zines and magazines and fan supplements going around, for example Judge's Guild forms at roughly the same time. They worked with TSR after a while to publish these things, so they were unofficial-but-official in a weird way. Early DND culture functions less like a business and more like a hobby community. Most of the early DND people knew each other in some capacity, it's only when DND got really far away from Lake Geneva that distinct cultures started forming island effect-style.

Good enough, let's keep going.

Our preamble gives us the basic of the adventure, dwarf island harangued by vampire queen, the undead keep abducting people to eat their blood. Conspicuously absent is any kind of information about a suggested level or party size.

It's cute, right? The styling is so welcome and loving in a way that TSR products will not have for a long, long time.

It's very rote, lots of very basic traps and stocked rooms. Not much to see he--

T-telepathic kittens that improve your morale? This is one of those moments where you just instantly know. The hobby isn't as different as you might thing. This is the exact sort of adorable shit you'd see on one of those big streamer shows. We all love our cats. They are our strength.

There genuinely isn't much to say about the rest of the module, other than that there is a shocking amount of child murder. There is an evil castle with a vampiress in it and you gotta go whack people til you can claim the reward money. About the most interesting twist you'll find in here is that there's a fakeout queen, and that the genuine queen will immediately take the (unnamed) dwarf princess hostage to secure her escape. I do appreciate that, if you're going to make every room just be a combat encounter with loot in it, the decision to make the key a table with room/creatures/max damage/description is sound. I'm kind of surprised this table-style key never caught on, given the 'doom monster closets' design that typifies a lot of early DND.

I wish that there was a great revelation waiting here for you, that the first non-TSR adventure was a forgotten classic? But it's really not. It's some monster-stocked rooms with the rare trap, and a vague preamble. Temple of the Frog showed a lot more creativity. I am kind of strangely fond of these lovingly inked maps though, it makes me long for hand-inked maps again. The Dungeon Master's Kit product line continues for two more entries (The Dwarven Glory and The Misty Isles) to form a soft trilogy.

Bonus Round: Skimming the rest of the Wee Warriors Dungeon Master's Kits

So the thing about the DK product line is that it's not very interesting. But since I had to get a copy, I'm making it your problem by talking about them more.

Everything about this room fascinates me. There is so much going on here that isn't explained. And then you keep going to room F7:

Again, nothing is fucking explained. The monsters are in conflict because why not? There's actually a great idea in here, (although again, why is child murder so prevalent?)

There are wisps of interesting narrative here, but all that's actually presented is like…the end-state? "Evil high priest who is abusing a tragedy to push his agenda" is a solid plot point. The idea that returning the treasure can cause conflict is great. But also, holy shit 500k gp diamond. That's enough exp to max your character in one fell swoop???

Moving onto Misty Isles, this is more of a…. setting than a module per-se. There's some implied plots I suppose. Here's some of the weirdest things:

The leader of the dwarves on one island is implied to be gay, which is a strange decision given how we don't have any other practical information about him, and has melted all his gold into one pile

A profit-prophet who gives oracles for bribes

Many, many dwarf seems to have access to actual modern day machine guns?

A band of monks are looking for a girl stolen by zombies. Why….did they steal her? Why is there hope of rescuing her? They're zombies, they're going to eat her!

I cannot do this justice myself:

That's….that's a lot. You want to randomly roll for nearly 600 magical objects? Sometimes designers Simply Say Words. The "My PC is the most bestest guy ever and could never be defeated" stories you hear people whinging about take a very different context when you realize there's just, GMs running around handing people literally 600 random magical items. Eventually you're going to roll and get the best items in the game. Note also, literally zero way of detecting any of the traps.

This random paragraph implies the existence of gamemaster-less play, a thing I guess could hypothetically exist with the degree of randomization, but. What?

Absolute queen shit. You go succubus lady! And the fairytale logic is cute cus, if the party got mad when they found out about this, they could always give her weight from some magic bullshit, like turning her into lead. Oops!

And it just goes on and on. There's a Cthulhu reference, there's a party of fighters who casually want to rape women (why were 70s gamers like this), the obligatory slavery character, et c. It's not the first setting released for DND, there are multiple people in front of this, I believe Empire of the Petal Throne won overall [fuck MAR Barker, nazi scum], and City State of the Invincible Overlord certainly predates it by a year. In 2024, it's a pretty tedious read. It reads like a list of ideas, because it is. There's some maps, but the maps are very sparse.

#ttrpg #tsr #dnd #dungeons and dragons #0e #chronotsr

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greatqueenanna · 1 year

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Should Hans Make a Return?

One of the burning questions that some have for Frozen 3 is if Prince Hans, the twist villain from Frozen, should return in the next film. He was absent in Frozen 2, only mentioned in passing, which was met with indifference from most Frozen fans, but disappointment from fans of the character who believed he was getting a redemption arc.

This idea originally stemmed from an interview with Hans' voice actor Santino Fontana who had hinted at the possibility that he may return. He mentions that the writers told him that they want to bring him back and redeem him. You can see this interview here, the Frozen segment lasts from approx. 15:35 - 19:35.

However, F2 had Elsa say that Hans is an irredeemable monster, and the songwriters had once compared him to a politician they don't like - giving off the impression that this wasn't actually considered, or the idea was scrapped.

The option has once again presented itself for Frozen 3, and I wanted to discuss the possibility and if he should even make a return.

Hans After Frozen

Hans' last film appearance was Frozen Fever in 2015, where we see him shoveling horse manure before being hit by Elsa's giant snowball.

Later that year, Hans appeared in the novel A Frozen Heart, where his point of view was explored alongside Anna's during the events of the first film. We learned quite a bit about his backstory, but this book's canon is debatable due to it being retconned by A Forest of Shadows in 2019 (the book gives a different description of what happened after Anna was hit by Elsa's magic).

Speaking of Forest of Shadows, Hans actually does make a brief appearance in this book. He appears in Anna's nightmare, one that shows her fear of Elsa thinking that Anna is useless to her.

The dancer bowed, the silver wolf mask nearly tipping off his nose. “As you wish, Princess Anna.” The blood in her veins turned to ice. Anna knew that voice. It was a voice she didn’t want to hear again. She peered uncertainly through the dark eyeholes of the mask. “Prince—Prince Hans?” “The very same.” A diamond ring suddenly materialized in his hand. “Your sister said I should give this to you when I ask for your hand.” “My—my hand?” Hans grabbed her wrist and jammed the ring onto her finger. “Your hand in marriage, of course. Your sister has given her blessing. She has no use for you.”

-Frozen 2: Forest of Shadows

Hans of course makes an appearance during live shows, most notably during the musical, and is given his own song, Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. In F2, other than a brief mention during their charades game and Elsa later destroying his memory in Ahtohallan, Hans is, as said, absent in the story. As a side note, he also appears in Once Upon a Time's season 4 non-canon spin-off as a villain.

Other than these instances, Hans has yet to make a return as a character in the mainline story.

How Hans Could Benefit Anna's Development

One thing we have to consider is that Hans is part of Anna's story more so than Elsa's. Yes, the two interact, but Hans was always a bigger part of Anna's overall development. I bring this up because many Hans fans that are also Helsa (Hans x Elsa) fans tend to hyper-focus on how his return would affect Elsa - when Elsa would largely be irrelevant to his return in reality.

Thus, let's refocus the conversation back on Anna. After all, it was Anna who Hans hurt and manipulated. If we're talking about him returning either as a villain or with redemption, it would directly affect Anna in one way or another.

As of Frozen 2 - Anna is the Queen of Arendelle, is engaged to marry Kristoff, has Mattias as an advisor/General, and works with Elsa in the Enchanted Forest to ensure peace.

Anna being Queen opens up some interesting narrative opportunities with Hans. His main goal was for Anna to become Queen so he would be her King. Thus, now that Anna is Queen without him, how would Hans view this? How would he react?

More importantly, how would Anna react to his return? Would she immediately shun him and give him another punch? Would she be afraid or nervous, with the writers exploring any trauma Anna may have from him? Basically, if Hans is brought back, it would actually give some interesting development opportunities for Anna and, to an extent, Kristoff.

Thus, Hans could actually make a return if his story is somehow integrated into Anna's development.

Villainous Return or Redemption?

My personal preference would be for Hans to return as a villain and, as described above, to be a development point for Anna to overcome. It would also benefit the series so that we wouldn't have to introduce a brand new villain character to develop on top of the already over-stuffed cast list. Hans already has his villain backstory and relationship with Anna, so it would be less work to make him the main villain and explore his already-established lore. I would also love it if he had a pretty amazing villain song since the series has been lacking in this department for a while.

When it comes to redemption, I don't mind the concept at all but feel it wouldn't be as fun and just make things a bit more complicated. After all, a redemption arc is a serious endeavor and requires a lot of work and care. As I said in this post here, it is not as easy as making Hans do something heroic, say he’s sorry, and now he’s good to go.

And considering the lukewarm reaction towards the simplistic and avoidant approach the writers to Agnarr and Iduna's 'redemption' (if you feel that they needed redemption, the opinions here are very polarizing) in F2, Hans' redemption would be received even more negatively due to his serious actions if they chose to oversimplify it.

As I said in the above post linked, which I'll copy here, the following would have to be addressed if the redemption takes place -

---- ---- ----

1. Having the villain learn why what they did was hurtful so that they genuinely feel bad about what they did.

This is difficult for a character like Hans because he is a Sociopath. It is not impossible to redeem a sociopathic character, but it requires a bit of nuance that not only has to disregard this aspect but may be too complex for a children’s title. Thus, the best option is to either retcon the Sociopath aspect or find a way to address the nuances in a way a child can understand.

2. Giving the villain quite a bit of time to reflect on everything and actually have the audience go on this journey with them. Thus helping the audience themselves believe that they have changed.

The issue here is that the interest is very low from audiences in the first place. People don’t want to see a Frozen 3 or Frozen Series focus on a Hans redemption- they want to see Anna and Elsa. Thus, this arc would need to take even longer because it would have to be a side story - more fitting for a series.

3. The victim’s pain needs to be the main focus, not the villain’s. Yes, understanding why the villain did what they did is important in any redemption arc. However, if the focus is too much on their tragic past, then it tells the audience that we need to feel sorry for them and not the victim.

In the case for Hans, the focus of his redemption needs to be what he did to Anna without any sugar coating or downplaying. He manipulated her, emotionally abused her after revealing himself, and then went to kill her sister after leaving her to die. The narrative would need to address all of this and let Anna express her pain to him, without his excuses.

With all this in mind, we also need to understand that it is Anna is not obligated to let Hans be part of the sister’s family no matter how much he’s changed. Even if she forgives him, letting him back in and giving him that trust again is a lot to ask. Forgiving ≠ letting back into your life. Basically, Hans would have to get his redemption and then be on his way to finding his own purpose in life. A forgive but not forget the idea.

---- ---- ----

Conclusion

My personal view is that I would love for Hans to return to the series. He was a big part of Frozen's success, with both Love is an Open Door and his twist reveal, thus it would be a shame if he never came back. My personal preference is for him to return as a villain because the narrative opportunities would be much more fun, however, I am not against the idea of him having a redemption arc - as long as it is done with care and respect.

Even better if the writers can somehow accomplish both - bring him as a villain, but somehow redeem him haha. Just give me my villain song dang it.

#Hans #Prince Hans #Frozen 3 #greatqueenanna/analysis

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ciaossu-imagines · 4 months

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miura haru fashion designer au? ☆

Of course! I love this idea, it's a really fun one, and I hope you'll enjoy the headcanons I came up with! Thanks, as always, for sending this in!

Okay, but I really do love this question because, with the skills and interests she's presented with in canon, Haru being really into fashion and even becoming a designer herself makes a lot of sense.

I do see, even in canon, Haru being really into different types of fashion herself. I think, instead of Tsuna and the mafia really being a thing at all, Haru grew up and she got really into cosplay. She got really internet famous for it in her teen years, especially as she hand-made every cosplay piece she wore, except for the wigs. I'll admit, in the beginning, her pieces weren't always the best but her skills increased drastically throughout practice and time.

Because of the level of internet fame she did achieve, she started to make connections in the fashion field and she was able to monetize her skills to some extent. With both of those things combined, she was able to travel and I think her actual career in fashion started not as an actual designer but in her finding a position in the wardrobe and costuming department for a small studio.

I think her skills in that department not only caught the attention of studio higher ups but those in the field. She got promoted rather quickly and moved to more known studios. She works really hard and is insanely picky. If she can't find something already made that she feels fits a character, she makes it herself.

She really hit the big time on a couple of shows she worked on, one a historical drama where her hand-sewn and elaborate traditional garb had so many online posts about it and was featured in a couple magazines, but also her work on a teen drama, where her quirky outfits for one of the supporting characters had people online clamoring to know where they could buy the clothes the character was wearing. That ended up with her work being featured in a number of blogs and trending on social media.

Haru got approached by several celebrities with the request to become their personal stylist and she did do that for a couple of years, where her outfits got even more public attention.

Along the way, her quirky sense of style and avant-garde fashion caught the eye of many in the field and she also noticed just how many 'normal' people mentioned wishing they could have those sort of clothes in their closets.

It's because of the success she's had and all the hard work she's put in over the years that I do see her, mid-thirties, opening her own design house. She really is a hit during Fashion Week and again, has many celebrity fans who wear her work on the red carpet or at events. She's always one of the designers worn during the Met Gala and I think that's the area she really allows herself to go high-fashion and quirky and over the top.

However, I do see her running a design line, less pricey and more mainstream, though still colourful and fun and quirky. It's carried in a couple of chain department stores, sells really well, and is what's accessible to people off the street and while still a little expensive, she has a lot of hardcore fans because her clothes are well-made, wash and wear well, and have a very unique style.

She also pairs with a couple companies, including Irregular Choice because I feel that's a brand she loves personally, to do her own limited run of shoes and jewelry, maybe even making a few perfumes with a perfumery line.

I could even see her dabbling in creating make-up with a company, high shine glosses, quirky colour palettes, etc. The packaging itself would also be really colourful, almost Lisa Frank-esque, but all the products themselves are cruelty free, safe for all skin types, and she really does insist that they be the best quality they can be while still remaining affordable for most people, even if they are a little bit of a luxury splurge.

I think she would, if given the opportunity, also love to expand her design skills into home decor, things that are very much maximilistic in style.

#replies #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #headcanons #au headcanons #fashion designer au #haru miura

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